Podcasts about grammatically

"The country spoke Irish largely before it spoke English. Grammatically, the structure of Irish is different from English. As Ireland adopted the English language, this sort of hybridization started to occur, where the English language was placed on top of Irish grammatical constructions. You get this slipperiness, this ability to move sentences, to place words in interesting places, and to use constructions that you just wouldn't find in England, for example. The thing about being an Irish writer is there isn't a reverence. There's a sort of implicit freedom to use the language however we like. So long as you have mastery and command of the language, you can push it to the edges."Paul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcastPaul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcast

"The country spoke Irish largely before it spoke English. Grammatically, the structure of Irish is different from English. As Ireland adopted the English language, this sort of hybridization started to occur, where the English language was placed on top of Irish grammatical constructions. You get this slipperiness, this ability to move sentences, to place words in interesting places, and to use constructions that you just wouldn't find in England, for example. The thing about being an Irish writer is there isn't a reverence. There's a sort of implicit freedom to use the language however we like. So long as you have mastery and command of the language, you can push it to the edges."Paul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcastPaul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcast

"The country spoke Irish largely before it spoke English. Grammatically, the structure of Irish is different from English. As Ireland adopted the English language, this sort of hybridization started to occur, where the English language was placed on top of Irish grammatical constructions. You get this slipperiness, this ability to move sentences, to place words in interesting places, and to use constructions that you just wouldn't find in England, for example. The thing about being an Irish writer is there isn't a reverence. There's a sort of implicit freedom to use the language however we like. So long as you have mastery and command of the language, you can push it to the edges."Paul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcastPaul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcast

"The country spoke Irish largely before it spoke English. Grammatically, the structure of Irish is different from English. As Ireland adopted the English language, this sort of hybridization started to occur, where the English language was placed on top of Irish grammatical constructions. You get this slipperiness, this ability to move sentences, to place words in interesting places, and to use constructions that you just wouldn't find in England, for example. The thing about being an Irish writer is there isn't a reverence. There's a sort of implicit freedom to use the language however we like. So long as you have mastery and command of the language, you can push it to the edges."Paul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcastPaul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcast

"The country spoke Irish largely before it spoke English. Grammatically, the structure of Irish is different from English. As Ireland adopted the English language, this sort of hybridization started to occur, where the English language was placed on top of Irish grammatical constructions. You get this slipperiness, this ability to move sentences, to place words in interesting places, and to use constructions that you just wouldn't find in England, for example. The thing about being an Irish writer is there isn't a reverence. There's a sort of implicit freedom to use the language however we like. So long as you have mastery and command of the language, you can push it to the edges."Paul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcastPaul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcast

"The country spoke Irish largely before it spoke English. Grammatically, the structure of Irish is different from English. As Ireland adopted the English language, this sort of hybridization started to occur, where the English language was placed on top of Irish grammatical constructions. You get this slipperiness, this ability to move sentences, to place words in interesting places, and to use constructions that you just wouldn't find in England, for example. The thing about being an Irish writer is there isn't a reverence. There's a sort of implicit freedom to use the language however we like. So long as you have mastery and command of the language, you can push it to the edges."Paul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcastPaul Lynch is the author of five novels. His most recent novel, Prophet Song, won the 2023 Booker Prize and the Dayton Literary Peace Peace Prize for Fiction, and other prizes. Prophet Song presents a dystopian vision of Ireland and a mother's determination to protect her family as her country slides towards totalitarianism. The Booker Prize Jury said, “It's a remarkable accomplishment for a novelist to capture the social and political anxieties of our moment so compellingly.“ In 2024, Lynch was elected to Aosdána, the Irish academy for the arts, honoring distinguished artists. He was the chief film critic of Ireland's Sunday Tribune newspaper. His novels have been translated into 35 languages.Episode Websitewww.creativeprocess.info/podInstagram:@creativeprocesspodcast

 Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy by horn pixy. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, 2010 Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy for many years, but Emily was hardly his idea of a hot librarian. She was the type of women who came a side-serving of Complication. So why couldn't he stay away from her?It was almost time for last call. Brandon wiped the sodden rag over the counter and put the empty glass the girl had just put down into the crate under the bar with the other dirty glasses.“One more?” he asked. She nodded and took her wallet from her purse. He handed her the scotch on the rocks; her sixth or seventh one for the evening; and wondered how she managed to keep her balance on the high barstool. Her eyes had that glazed look of somebody who had definitely had a few too many, but if he had not been the one to pour her drinks; all six or seven of them; he would not have guessed she was drunk. There was no characteristic slumping or wobbling or even raucous laughter. In fact, her ramrod straight posture and uncanny balance reminded him of a ballet teacher, especially with her hair scraped back into a bun like that. She was pretty enough, in a neat, mousy little way. It was impossible to hazard a guess at the figure under the bulky, shapeless coat she was wearing over goodness knew what. She was wearing glasses with a nice frame that actually suited her face in a non-descript kind of way. Brandon had never seen such a dignified drunk in his life. She had better manners drunk than most people had when they were stone cold sober and sitting their grandmother's sitting rooms.“Thank you,” she said politely when she accepted her change and slipped half of it into the tip-jar, as she had been doing all evening. He kept an eye on her as he started straightening bottles on the shelf behind him, wondering about her story.Brandon loved his job. He owned several bars and still spent an evening now and then behind the counter. After serving drinks for three years across the globe when he was fresh out of high school, he enjoyed the occasional trip down memory lane. It fascinated him to see how alike people were, no matter where they lived. Broken hearts healed just as slowly in Hawaii as they did in Australia, and flirting was a universal art that did not differ too much from one place to another. He loved watching the games, the intrigues, the emotions, as people relaxed around him. He'd seen it all; the break-ups and the make-ups, the hopeful souls scouring the bar for the love of their lives; or at least the lay of the night. He'd seen people drink to forget, or to try to keep memories alive. He'd seen them drink because there was nothing else to do, or because they couldn't do anything else. He'd seen the lonely girls go home with the wrong men and knew they'd wake up the next morning with alcohol on their breath and regret in their hearts. He'd seen women play fast and loose, and the men who managed to escape their clutches. He'd seen the best and the worst of people, but he thought he'd never quite seen anything like the girl sitting there in a dull brown coat, finishing one drink after another without toppling over or falling into somebody's lap on her way to the bathroom. She was fresh and new, and it intrigued him.The bar was rather empty in comparison to most Friday nights. But to be fair, it was the middle of the month and there was a blizzard raging on outside. He was closing up earlier than usual to give the staff and the customers the chance to get home before it got worse. The neat lady; there was other way to describe her; was one of the diehards, but since she was hardly causing a scene, he didn't ask her to leave just yet while they were cleaning up.Finally they were done, and he had to ask her to leave. She blinked owlishly at him from behind her glasses.“Excuse me?” she asked, as if she had not heard him the first time.He leaned closer and thought he caught a whiff of something clean and fresh under the ripe smell of alcohol and closed-up people that hung over the room.“It's closing time,” he repeated. “We're going to lock up.”“Oh,” she said, frowning slightly as her impaired brain tried to sort out his words. “Right,” she said finally. “Well, I'll just go then, won't I?”“Can I call you a cab?” he asked, because she still had not moved from her seat. He waved a hand at the two waiters and the other barman, indicating that he would lock up and they could go home.She looked at him, her eyes still slightly unfocused.“To take you home,” he explained. “You shouldn't drive.”“Did I come with a car?” she asked, bewildered. “I hope not. I don't own a car. Did I steal one?”He grinned. This was fun. Normally drunk people just annoyed him a bit, but this girl struck a chord somewhere in his chest he'd never known to exist.“Not that I know of,” he said. “How did you get here?”“I must have walked,” she said, puzzled. “From work. Fancy that.”“What work do you do?” he asked as Rod, one of the waiters, closed the door behind the other staff members.“I'm a libal; librali; a li bra rian,” she said, looking quite pleased with herself for managing the word. Fancy that indeed, he thought, his mind going into immediate overdrive at the mention of her career. Like many, many men, he harbored a secret Librarian Fantasy. Even the way she broke it up into syllables didn't diminish the thoughts running though his head.The job suited her perfectly, he thought. She was cut out for the silence and air of wisdom and propriety that hung around the books like dusty clouds. He imagined being scolded by her for being too loud and grinned.“Where do you live?” he wanted to know. He would help her home, call her a cab, and forget about her. She was not the type of librarian he fantasized about; she had glasses, but they were the wrong kind, and even though her hair was scraped back out of her face, there was nothing sexy about it. She wasn't wearing nearly enough make-up and not at all the right kind of clothes, either. She was just a girl, hiding behind stacks of books. Her fingers were unadorned, and he guessed her to be single. She probably had four or five cats and a vibrator named Bob hidden in her nightstand that she rarely used because it made her feel guilty.“Up the street, I think,” she said, pointing vaguely with her fingers. “That way. You have pretty eyes.”He lifted an amused brow. ‘That way' would take him to the kitchen and eventually, an alleyway behind the building.“How about an address?” he asked. “To give to the cab-driver.”He grabbed a paper napkin and a pen. She wrote slowly, carefully, her handwriting still managing to be neater than his illegible scrawl.“You don't live far from me,” he said, lying smoothly. “Just one block south, to be precise. Would you like a lift home?”“Never get in the car with strangers,” she said firmly.“A cab driver is also a stranger,” he pointed out.“Not the same thing.”“Nope. But on second thought, I'm not sure you'll find a cab in this weather.”“That's right,” she said, smiling broadly for the first time. The expression transformed her face from plain to pretty. Her innocence amused and tickled him. “It's snowing. Like a White Christmas.”He couldn't help it. He grinned; it was January. She wasn't just drunk, she was completely sloshed. But still amazingly stable and logical.“Let's get you home,” he said, coming around the bar to help her from the stool. This was not something he ever did. He owned the bars; how the patrons got home was their problem, not his. But he couldn't just leave this girl to her own devices, not unless he wanted the next time he heard about her to be her name in an obituary. She'd probably fall asleep in the cold right outside his bar and die. It would cause all sorts of unwanted paperwork and police questions.She didn't even need his help standing up. The liquor, it seemed, had not affected her balance one bit. Still, he kept a hand on her back to steer her. He locked up behind them while she stood looking at him through her wide, trusting eyes.“You're really tall,” she said. “I wish I was taller.”“You're the perfect height,” he said. “See? My arm fits right round your shoulders. You're like a portable armrest.”She didn't giggle at that, and he wondered of she'd heard him. It was a pretty lame joke, but in his experience, drunk people will laugh at anything.“I wish I was hot,” she said. “Like you. But not like you. Like a girl. Then maybe I could have sex.”He coughed, choking on his breath, the way some people trip over their own feet.“What?” he asked when he finally had the air back in the right pipes.“I wish I was prettier,” she said matter-of-factly. “I'm not being pessimistic, really. I just; well, no use crying for the moon, is there?”“You are pretty,” he said automatically. She sighed.“I'm not. But thank you for pretending, anyway. Oh, my goodness, it's cold.”He had just opened the back door and yes, it was cold indeed. The wind was blowing sheets of snow into their faces and heaping it against the side of the building. He steered her with one hand in the direction of his car, which was parked under the staff-members-only roof.He cranked up the heater and took the drive slowly and carefully. The cold was making her drowsy, and he could see her head drooping slightly. No doubt the drinks were finally taking effect.“I take it you don't drink often?” he said.“Nope,” she said, pulling the edges of her rather ugly coat closer around her. “I've never been drunk before.”Until tonight, he thought, but he waited for her to continue on her own. After a few seconds, she did.“I'm sort of a virgin,” she said.” By choice. But it's not my choice.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Technically I'm no longer one. But I've never been with a man, you know?”Well, he certainly knew now. But his years as a barman had taught him when to listen and when to talk. So he kept quiet.“Well, anyway, I always thought it was because I'm too shy. Men don't like that, right?”“Some do,” he said, because what else could he say?“Liar,” she said fondly. “Nobody wants to be with somebody who's ashamed of themselves. I know I wouldn't like that in a man, so I can hardly expect any man to show interest in me. That's why I went out tonight,” she added after a few seconds. “Too see if drinking helps me get loose. Turns out I'm even boring when I'm drunk.”“You're not boring,” he said firmly. “You just need to learn how to fake it. Everybody is secretly self-conscious. Some just hide it better that others. You need to find a way to pretend. If you can convince yourself, you know other people will believe it.”“I don't think I'd know how,” she said. “I'm no good at acting or pretending or lying. I can't even lie to telephone sales people. ““I'll help you,” he said impulsively. “I'll show you how to fake it.”“Really?”“Sure. When you're sober. Anything I teach you now will be wasted.”“Like me,” she sighed. “I'm wasted, and all I want to do is go to bed. That's my building up there.'“That's a gas station,” he said with a grin.“Oh.” She frowned. “Then it's not my building, is it?”“I sincerely hope not.”They found her building eventually, tucked away between a tall, scary-looking block of flats and a three-story bridal boutique. He helped her out of the car and up the steps. It took her three times to key the right series of numbers into the keypad so the door would open. Finally, she recited them to him to read it in.“Thank you,” she said awkwardly. “For the lift, and the ear.”He grinned. “No problem,” he said. “Hey, what's your name?”“Emily,” she said.Emily. It suited her perfectly, as if her parents had had a glimpse of her in the future when they named her. She looked like an Emily more than anybody else he'd ever met.“I'm Brandon,” he said. “Can I pick you up tomorrow around noon for your first lesson?”“Lesson?”“In faking it.”It occurred to him then that ‘faking it' might refer to something else as well, but he always made damn sure a girl does not need to fake it when she's with him. Not that he planned to have sex with her. This girl's second name was Complication. It would be cruel to pluck her cherry and then be off on his merry way. She was not the type to come; and then go.“Okay. Wanna come up?”He considered saying no, but realized she might need help to get into her apartment. It seemed her brain had simply been behind on its reaction, and she was finally in the clumsy imbalance phase of drunkenness.She might get hurt, or lost, or wind up asleep on a hallway chair somewhere.“Sure,”' he said.It was three interesting flights of stairs. She only almost-fell seven times, even with his arm around her waist. She was still incessantly polite, apologizing profusely and telling him how pretty he was.Yeah, because that's what every guy secretly wants to be. Pretty.He had to take her keys and unlock the door himself. She was toppling over and had to hold onto the wall with both hands to keep from introducing her ass to the ground. It was a good thing she was wearing sensible flats rather than sexy heels, and he had to be the first guy ever to have that particular thought.“There we go,” he said when he finally got the door open. She would need to get a locksmith to take a look at the thing; the key had stuck a bit, as if the mechanism inside was rusty.Her house surprised him. He had unconsciously expected it to be decorated like something from the Victorian Era; Chintz and flowers, frilly and stuffy. Chokingly girly. It wasn't. Oh, it was undeniable a female place, but it was feminine rather than girlish. The door opened into the sitting room, which had a sage green couch with big white pillows and lampshades. The lavender curtains had been drawn against the cold air and what was probably a dreary scene outside. The art against the walls was lovely; no modern skyscrapers with red splashes to indicate blood and lust, or wriggling shapes than reminded him of female sex organs during ovulation.A small little galley kitchen on the right showed no dirty dishes in the sink, and a gleaming espresso machine on the countertop next to an equally gleaming microwave.He half-carried, half-dragged her to the only other door, guessing it to be the bedroom.It was, and here was more proof of neat, uncluttered taste. The room was tiny, with built-in cupboards and barely enough space to walk around the bed to the bathroom on the other side.“You gonna kiss me now?” she asked when he helped her onto the bed and slid a pillow under her head.“Sure, thing, honey,” he said as he switched on the bedside lamp so he could turn off the harsh overhead fixture. “In a minute, okay? You just wait right there.”He made sure she wasn't too close to the edge to roll off and brought her a glass of water from the kitchen. He found Advils in her bathroom cabinet, along with some make-up and an unopened packet of condoms. Pity stirred his heart. She was well and truly lonely, wasn't she? All cosseted in her small little apartment, hiding behind books and pretty paintings. So far he hadn't seen any sign of a cat, but maybe the building didn't allow pets.He found a heater and turned it up. She was lying suspiciously still on her side, one arm flung out to the side. He tucked it into a more comfortable position. It was the desire to get her comfortable as much as curiosity that made him wait until she was deeply asleep, or, more likely, passed out, before he pulled her coat off to reveal her body.She was small, and firm, and the only word he could think of to describe her was neat. She was utterly non-descript. She had tits, but they were just there, situated on her chest much in the way a nose is situated more or less in the middle of a face. He doubted he'd notice them if he saw her in the line at the grocery store other than for the obvious reason; they were female tits, and therefore bound to be noticed, even if they did not get a second look. They were completely average tits. He couldn't see much, as she was wearing a creamy beige sweater that had clearly been bought with an eye on heat rather than hotness, and brown slacks that sat loose around her legs and revealed nothing about what her body looked like.He shook his head as he slipped her shoes from her feet and considered doing her another favor and tossing them in the trash. They were butt-fuck-ugly. He hated sensible shoes on a woman.He pulled the quilt over her body and since he had some experience with drunk people, found a plastic bucket in her kitchen to put next to her bed. She seemed to have missed the psychedelic-yawn, porcelain-god-worshipping part of the evening, but judging by the fact that her body seemed to have its own ideas of how to react to alcohol, he wasn't taking anything for granted. She would hate herself if she woke up in the morning, only to find she'd puked all over her pretty, plush white carpet. Who bought white carpets anyway? Wasn't that like a direct invite to Karma and Murphy and all those other sadistic creatures who makes people spill coffee just after they get dressed in a new shirt, or back their car into a lamp pole the first time they take it out for a drive?He left a piece of paper with the instructions to drink the tablets and the water next to the glass and went back downstairs, only to tread back up when he couldn't find his keys in his pocket.It wasn't in the living room either, nor anywhere else in her house that he could find. He went as far as opening her underwear drawer (he really was desperate, after all,) and was not too surprised that they weren't there. He was pleasantly surprised, however, that the librarian lady had quite good taste in underwear. He didn't touch any of the pretty lace and satin snips of fabric, but he could imagine them on her easily enough, and it made for a pretty image.He finally located his keys; sitting in the ignition of his car, the doors firmly locked against him.“Son of a bitch!” he said, slamming a frustrated hand onto the snow-covered roof. “Dammit!”He took his phone from his pocket and tried to call a cab company to come get him and take him home to get his spare key, but just as he got an operator his phone made a cheerful beep just before the battery died. He considered throwing the piece of shit into the nearest heap of snow, but figured that would be counterproductive.He was stuck, and he'd be dammed if he was going to wait for the sun to rise outside on the streets, looking at a locked car.He trudged back upstairs, grateful that he hadn't been able to lock the door behind him and made himself at least semi-comfortable on Emily's couch, and closed his eyes. By any luck he would be awake and gone long before Miss Emily found the courage to leave her bed. And when he left, he would stay gone. She probably won't remember the impulsive promise he had made to help her get confidence, so she won't be upset when he doesn't show up. He already regretted the invitation; Emily the librarian was not the type of girl he needed to spend time with. She was too shy; she said so herself; and she dressed atrociously. Except for her underwear, of course. She was plain, bordering on dowdy, a self-proclaimed virgin, (whatever she had meant by technically) and she had you're-going-to-break-my-heart written all over her.She was a librarian, for goodness sake. That was a species of women best suited to the porn industry, where they wore impractical high-heeled pumps and button down shirts with sexy glasses and tight skirts. If you put Emily in an outfit like that she would; well, she would look hot, to be honest. Almost any woman would look awesome, dressed like that. He imagined it easily, right down to the stern look she was giving him for putting a book in the wrong shelf.“It belongs in the back,” she would say and motion for him to follow her so she could show him where to put it. He would wait for the right moment to pin her against the shelves and kiss the living daylights out of her while his hands explored her hot and eager curves. She would slide one leg around his waist and grind against him seductively;Brandon came to his senses with a jolt, his hand around his cock. He groaned. This was ridiculous. He was sporting a hard-on for the most wood-uninspiring girl he's ever met. She was shy and plain and, frankly, her life was a little pathetic. She had to be at least twenty-six and she'd never had sex? What was he even doing in her house, other than trying to beat one out?He swore and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable and wishing he had a blanket.This was what he got for playing the Good Samaritan.Emily could feel the light all the way down to her queasy stomach, and it burned the whole way down.“Oh,” she moaned and wondered, briefly, if a freight train or a passenger one had hit her. The question seemed important, somehow. Her head felt like the maze of a Pac-Man game. Something was running around inside there and eating bits of grey-matter. She tried to squint through the smallest of slits she could make with eyelids; straight into the light of her bedside lamp. She could hear her corneas go up in flames. She whimpered and turned her face into her pillow to hide from it. She regretted waking up with every fiber of her being. The longer she was awake, the more issues were brought under her attention by her irate body. Her mouth tasted like something she would gag at if she were to smell it on her way to wok. Her body was sore, and she was nauseous. The most pressing problem, however, was her bladder, which was screaming for attention. She eased her legs over the side of her bed carefully, surprised to find herself in her wrinkled angora sweater and slacks of the previous day. At least she'd had the sense to kick off her shoes the previous evening before she got in bed.Her eyes fell on the bright red bucket sitting next to her bed. It was the one she used when she washed floors or windows, and it belonged in her kitchen on top of the cupboard that holds other cleaning supplies. What was it doing next to her bed? The next second she grabbed for it as her stomach revolted against the switch from horizontal to vertical. She was sick; violently and tear-inducingly sick. When it was over she sat there, sweating and just trying to get her breath. Another wave hit her and she was infinitely grateful for the bucket, though she still had no idea how it got there.Finally it seemed to be over for real. She made her way cautiously to her bathroom and emptied the bucket in the toilet with a grimace. She would clean it later. No, she would throw it out. Nobody needed a reminder like that sitting in their kitchen.She flushed the toilet before she unbuckled her slacks and sat down, relief spreading over her body like a flush. Eventually she realized she couldn't hide on her toilet forever and she got up.She just looked at herself in the mirror. Was that her? That rumpled, bleary-eyed stranger who's make-up had smeared and whose hair; well, to be honest, the ruthless bun she'd tied her hair in had held pretty well. It still looked reasonably neat, in comparison to the rest of her. But her skin was white, her eyes red. There were pillow-creases on her check and she smelled like; No. There was no words to describe the odors wafting around her. But it was foul and she might need to burn her clothes.She pulled it off, stepped into the shower and closed the curtain. The next second she screamed when the icy water hit her skin and she realized too late that she should have waited a minute for the hot water to reach the pipes. It cleared her head instantly, however, and she forced herself to stand there while it warmed.That's when she heard her bathroom door swing open, and an unfamiliar voice say, “What the hell?”Oh, dear heavens! There was a man in her apartment.Brandon could see vague movements behind the translucent curtain; he truly hated those things; but nothing else. He'd woken up to the cheerful sounds of somebody throwing up and considered leaving before she emerged. But he would still be stranded until he could get home for his spare key, and he knew the lady would probably have a few questions regarding the previous evening. It seemed cruel now to leave her to her own speculations. And then she'd screamed and although he knew there was probably no crazy axe-murderer in her bathroom, he did feel some concern. Or, at the very least, the desire to be spectator to her humiliation. The uncharacteristic bout of pettiness was undoubtedly brought upon by the crick in his neck after spending the night on a couch that was too short for his frame. Why didn't women invest in man-sized leather couches or lazy-boys with cup-holders?“Who‘s there?” she asked, and he could hear the shiver in her voice. Was it fear or cold?“Me,” he said, wanting to punish her; just a little; for the worst night of his life. Not that it was entirely her fault. He had decided to help her home all on his own, after all. But the punishment her couch had meted out had neutralized his part in this little clusterfuck. That, and the raging case of blue balls he was suffering from even now. Though, to be fair, there was no way in which he could hold her responsible for that.“I,” she said.“What?” Brandon asked, confused.“You mean I. Not me. Grammatically speaking…”“You're giving me a grammar lesson?” he asked, astounded. “You're naked in the shower and there's a stranger outside who could, for all intent and purposes, have a chainsaw or an electric appliance, and you're pointing out grammatical errors?”There was a moment of silence, during which he could only hear the sound of running water.“Do you have a chainsaw or an electric appliance?” she asked after a few seconds. Steam was rising and she sighed in pleasure. The sound shot straight downstairs. He winced.“No,” he admitted.“Well, then,” she said as if that explained everything. “I assume we met last night?”“Sort of.”“Did we…” There was trepidation in her voice now. “Did we have sex?”He grinned. There was no way he was passing up this opportunity.“Baby, you rocked my world,” he said. “Twice. Where'd you learn to do that thing with your tongue?”“What thing?”“That thing where you; Oh never mind, I'll show you later. Mind if I join you?” He jiggled his belt, making it sound as if he was pulling off his pants.“No!” she said quickly. “I'm naked!”“That's the idea,' he said. “Naked and wet. Just the way I like you best. Just like last night. Man! You were wet.”He thought he heard her whimper something about deities unknown.“Want me to go make coffee instead?” he asked, taking pity on her.“Yes,” she seized the opportunity. “Please. Coffee. Why don't you take yours to go?”She was kicking him out? After everything he'd done for her the previous evening?“Now that's no way to talk to your new husband,” he said reprovingly.He could hear her shock in the very silence.“My what?”“Don't you remember?” Oh, he was enjoying this.“My what?”“After we met up at the bar, we went to a judge I know and got a special license. He married us. He's a good guy, Judge Henderson. Owed me a favor after I got rid of a little problem for him a year ago.”“Please leave,” she begged, close to tears, if her voice was anything to go by.“Now, honeybun, I told you last night the garbage disposal company I work for doesn't work over weekends. Where would I go?”She moaned, a pitiful sound that made him feel slightly guilty. There was a movement behind the curtain and then her head poked out. She was holding the curtain prudishly high to hide the rest of her.“Please tell me you're joking,” she pleaded.He let his silence speak for itself, while he took her in. Her eyes were bloodshot, but that didn't do much to distract from their beauty. Had he ever seen such big blue eyes outside the porcelain-doll industry? Why hadn't he noticed that before? He was standing close enough that he could see the water clinging against her long lashes. Her nose was fine with the cutest tilt, and her skin, though still slightly sallow from the previous evening, was perfect and unblemished.He was stunned. She was beautiful. How the hell had he missed that?“This can't be happening,” she said.His thoughts exactly. He could not be noticing her beauty now. It was just his libido talking. He'd spent a restless evening tossing around coldly on her couch, getting images of her all mixed up with his librarian fantasies. That's what this was. His cock was desperate to convince him he was attracted to her so he would make his move. And she would fall for it, no doubt about that. She was inexperienced and, by her own admission, desperate. If he turned on the charm, he would have her under him before the end of the day.But he wasn't that kind of a guy. The guy who sleep with girls and leave them when they bore him. And bore him she inevitably would. She was too quiet, too shy, too damn librarian-ish to hold his attention for longer than it took him to come. He preferred women with fiery personalities and lots of experience in pleasuring her lover in bed. Emily would probably faint dead the first time she saw him naked. And try to be prim and proper, and not want him to go down on her. Sex with her would have to be after dark, a quick, awkward coupling under the covers. She wouldn't want to do any of the things he liked; no blowjobs, no cunnilingus. Definitely no role-play. It would be utterly unfulfilling.So why wouldn't his cock stop trying to make happy-happy with her?“Don't worry,' he said, finally annoyed by himself and his thoughts and feelings. “It's not. I'll go make coffee. I'll even leave if you want me to.”She looked at him, blinking those big eyes of hers.“No,” she said. “Stay. I'll be there in a few minutes.”She brushed her teeth and even her tongue for what felt like hours to no avail. The taste of her humiliation sat as if the enamel on her teeth had absorbed it. She felt as if she was chewing on moss as far as she went. She twisted the towel around her head and drank the Advils next to her bed. Bits and pieces of the previous evening was filtering down to her. She had been at the library and Mrs. Gunnings; bless her heart; had been talking about how Emily needed to find a nice young man to take care of her. Of how nice it was to go home and not spend the evening alone. Of how nice it was to go out and hold somebody's hand in public. Of the lovely man who'd swept her daughter right of her feet and now they were married with a little baby and how happy they were; she'd talked and talked until Emily was so depressed with her own lonely little life that she decided to stop for a drink, rather than face her empty apartment. As she sat there, she kept thinking of ways to meet somebody; clearly, her job was no help; and the thought had somehow taken root that people met other people in bars. When they were drunk. So she'd ordered one drink after another, hoping she would magically become sexy and; and pretty and desirable. And somebody would magically notice her and fall magically in love with her and they would magically live happily ever after.To be continued, by horn pixy.

 Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy by horn pixy. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.Wednesday night before Thanksgiving, 2010 Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy for many years, but Emily was hardly his idea of a hot librarian. She was the type of women who came a side-serving of Complication. So why couldn't he stay away from her?It was almost time for last call. Brandon wiped the sodden rag over the counter and put the empty glass the girl had just put down into the crate under the bar with the other dirty glasses.“One more?” he asked. She nodded and took her wallet from her purse. He handed her the scotch on the rocks; her sixth or seventh one for the evening; and wondered how she managed to keep her balance on the high barstool. Her eyes had that glazed look of somebody who had definitely had a few too many, but if he had not been the one to pour her drinks; all six or seven of them; he would not have guessed she was drunk. There was no characteristic slumping or wobbling or even raucous laughter. In fact, her ramrod straight posture and uncanny balance reminded him of a ballet teacher, especially with her hair scraped back into a bun like that. She was pretty enough, in a neat, mousy little way. It was impossible to hazard a guess at the figure under the bulky, shapeless coat she was wearing over goodness knew what. She was wearing glasses with a nice frame that actually suited her face in a non-descript kind of way. Brandon had never seen such a dignified drunk in his life. She had better manners drunk than most people had when they were stone cold sober and sitting their grandmother's sitting rooms.“Thank you,” she said politely when she accepted her change and slipped half of it into the tip-jar, as she had been doing all evening. He kept an eye on her as he started straightening bottles on the shelf behind him, wondering about her story.Brandon loved his job. He owned several bars and still spent an evening now and then behind the counter. After serving drinks for three years across the globe when he was fresh out of high school, he enjoyed the occasional trip down memory lane. It fascinated him to see how alike people were, no matter where they lived. Broken hearts healed just as slowly in Hawaii as they did in Australia, and flirting was a universal art that did not differ too much from one place to another. He loved watching the games, the intrigues, the emotions, as people relaxed around him. He'd seen it all; the break-ups and the make-ups, the hopeful souls scouring the bar for the love of their lives; or at least the lay of the night. He'd seen people drink to forget, or to try to keep memories alive. He'd seen them drink because there was nothing else to do, or because they couldn't do anything else. He'd seen the lonely girls go home with the wrong men and knew they'd wake up the next morning with alcohol on their breath and regret in their hearts. He'd seen women play fast and loose, and the men who managed to escape their clutches. He'd seen the best and the worst of people, but he thought he'd never quite seen anything like the girl sitting there in a dull brown coat, finishing one drink after another without toppling over or falling into somebody's lap on her way to the bathroom. She was fresh and new, and it intrigued him.The bar was rather empty in comparison to most Friday nights. But to be fair, it was the middle of the month and there was a blizzard raging on outside. He was closing up earlier than usual to give the staff and the customers the chance to get home before it got worse. The neat lady; there was other way to describe her; was one of the diehards, but since she was hardly causing a scene, he didn't ask her to leave just yet while they were cleaning up.Finally they were done, and he had to ask her to leave. She blinked owlishly at him from behind her glasses.“Excuse me?” she asked, as if she had not heard him the first time.He leaned closer and thought he caught a whiff of something clean and fresh under the ripe smell of alcohol and closed-up people that hung over the room.“It's closing time,” he repeated. “We're going to lock up.”“Oh,” she said, frowning slightly as her impaired brain tried to sort out his words. “Right,” she said finally. “Well, I'll just go then, won't I?”“Can I call you a cab?” he asked, because she still had not moved from her seat. He waved a hand at the two waiters and the other barman, indicating that he would lock up and they could go home.She looked at him, her eyes still slightly unfocused.“To take you home,” he explained. “You shouldn't drive.”“Did I come with a car?” she asked, bewildered. “I hope not. I don't own a car. Did I steal one?”He grinned. This was fun. Normally drunk people just annoyed him a bit, but this girl struck a chord somewhere in his chest he'd never known to exist.“Not that I know of,” he said. “How did you get here?”“I must have walked,” she said, puzzled. “From work. Fancy that.”“What work do you do?” he asked as Rod, one of the waiters, closed the door behind the other staff members.“I'm a libal; librali; a li bra rian,” she said, looking quite pleased with herself for managing the word. Fancy that indeed, he thought, his mind going into immediate overdrive at the mention of her career. Like many, many men, he harbored a secret Librarian Fantasy. Even the way she broke it up into syllables didn't diminish the thoughts running though his head.The job suited her perfectly, he thought. She was cut out for the silence and air of wisdom and propriety that hung around the books like dusty clouds. He imagined being scolded by her for being too loud and grinned.“Where do you live?” he wanted to know. He would help her home, call her a cab, and forget about her. She was not the type of librarian he fantasized about; she had glasses, but they were the wrong kind, and even though her hair was scraped back out of her face, there was nothing sexy about it. She wasn't wearing nearly enough make-up and not at all the right kind of clothes, either. She was just a girl, hiding behind stacks of books. Her fingers were unadorned, and he guessed her to be single. She probably had four or five cats and a vibrator named Bob hidden in her nightstand that she rarely used because it made her feel guilty.“Up the street, I think,” she said, pointing vaguely with her fingers. “That way. You have pretty eyes.”He lifted an amused brow. ‘That way' would take him to the kitchen and eventually, an alleyway behind the building.“How about an address?” he asked. “To give to the cab-driver.”He grabbed a paper napkin and a pen. She wrote slowly, carefully, her handwriting still managing to be neater than his illegible scrawl.“You don't live far from me,” he said, lying smoothly. “Just one block south, to be precise. Would you like a lift home?”“Never get in the car with strangers,” she said firmly.“A cab driver is also a stranger,” he pointed out.“Not the same thing.”“Nope. But on second thought, I'm not sure you'll find a cab in this weather.”“That's right,” she said, smiling broadly for the first time. The expression transformed her face from plain to pretty. Her innocence amused and tickled him. “It's snowing. Like a White Christmas.”He couldn't help it. He grinned; it was January. She wasn't just drunk, she was completely sloshed. But still amazingly stable and logical.“Let's get you home,” he said, coming around the bar to help her from the stool. This was not something he ever did. He owned the bars; how the patrons got home was their problem, not his. But he couldn't just leave this girl to her own devices, not unless he wanted the next time he heard about her to be her name in an obituary. She'd probably fall asleep in the cold right outside his bar and die. It would cause all sorts of unwanted paperwork and police questions.She didn't even need his help standing up. The liquor, it seemed, had not affected her balance one bit. Still, he kept a hand on her back to steer her. He locked up behind them while she stood looking at him through her wide, trusting eyes.“You're really tall,” she said. “I wish I was taller.”“You're the perfect height,” he said. “See? My arm fits right round your shoulders. You're like a portable armrest.”She didn't giggle at that, and he wondered of she'd heard him. It was a pretty lame joke, but in his experience, drunk people will laugh at anything.“I wish I was hot,” she said. “Like you. But not like you. Like a girl. Then maybe I could have sex.”He coughed, choking on his breath, the way some people trip over their own feet.“What?” he asked when he finally had the air back in the right pipes.“I wish I was prettier,” she said matter-of-factly. “I'm not being pessimistic, really. I just; well, no use crying for the moon, is there?”“You are pretty,” he said automatically. She sighed.“I'm not. But thank you for pretending, anyway. Oh, my goodness, it's cold.”He had just opened the back door and yes, it was cold indeed. The wind was blowing sheets of snow into their faces and heaping it against the side of the building. He steered her with one hand in the direction of his car, which was parked under the staff-members-only roof.He cranked up the heater and took the drive slowly and carefully. The cold was making her drowsy, and he could see her head drooping slightly. No doubt the drinks were finally taking effect.“I take it you don't drink often?” he said.“Nope,” she said, pulling the edges of her rather ugly coat closer around her. “I've never been drunk before.”Until tonight, he thought, but he waited for her to continue on her own. After a few seconds, she did.“I'm sort of a virgin,” she said.” By choice. But it's not my choice.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Technically I'm no longer one. But I've never been with a man, you know?”Well, he certainly knew now. But his years as a barman had taught him when to listen and when to talk. So he kept quiet.“Well, anyway, I always thought it was because I'm too shy. Men don't like that, right?”“Some do,” he said, because what else could he say?“Liar,” she said fondly. “Nobody wants to be with somebody who's ashamed of themselves. I know I wouldn't like that in a man, so I can hardly expect any man to show interest in me. That's why I went out tonight,” she added after a few seconds. “Too see if drinking helps me get loose. Turns out I'm even boring when I'm drunk.”“You're not boring,” he said firmly. “You just need to learn how to fake it. Everybody is secretly self-conscious. Some just hide it better that others. You need to find a way to pretend. If you can convince yourself, you know other people will believe it.”“I don't think I'd know how,” she said. “I'm no good at acting or pretending or lying. I can't even lie to telephone sales people. ““I'll help you,” he said impulsively. “I'll show you how to fake it.”“Really?”“Sure. When you're sober. Anything I teach you now will be wasted.”“Like me,” she sighed. “I'm wasted, and all I want to do is go to bed. That's my building up there.'“That's a gas station,” he said with a grin.“Oh.” She frowned. “Then it's not my building, is it?”“I sincerely hope not.”They found her building eventually, tucked away between a tall, scary-looking block of flats and a three-story bridal boutique. He helped her out of the car and up the steps. It took her three times to key the right series of numbers into the keypad so the door would open. Finally, she recited them to him to read it in.“Thank you,” she said awkwardly. “For the lift, and the ear.”He grinned. “No problem,” he said. “Hey, what's your name?”“Emily,” she said.Emily. It suited her perfectly, as if her parents had had a glimpse of her in the future when they named her. She looked like an Emily more than anybody else he'd ever met.“I'm Brandon,” he said. “Can I pick you up tomorrow around noon for your first lesson?”“Lesson?”“In faking it.”It occurred to him then that ‘faking it' might refer to something else as well, but he always made damn sure a girl does not need to fake it when she's with him. Not that he planned to have sex with her. This girl's second name was Complication. It would be cruel to pluck her cherry and then be off on his merry way. She was not the type to come; and then go.“Okay. Wanna come up?”He considered saying no, but realized she might need help to get into her apartment. It seemed her brain had simply been behind on its reaction, and she was finally in the clumsy imbalance phase of drunkenness.She might get hurt, or lost, or wind up asleep on a hallway chair somewhere.“Sure,”' he said.It was three interesting flights of stairs. She only almost-fell seven times, even with his arm around her waist. She was still incessantly polite, apologizing profusely and telling him how pretty he was.Yeah, because that's what every guy secretly wants to be. Pretty.He had to take her keys and unlock the door himself. She was toppling over and had to hold onto the wall with both hands to keep from introducing her ass to the ground. It was a good thing she was wearing sensible flats rather than sexy heels, and he had to be the first guy ever to have that particular thought.“There we go,” he said when he finally got the door open. She would need to get a locksmith to take a look at the thing; the key had stuck a bit, as if the mechanism inside was rusty.Her house surprised him. He had unconsciously expected it to be decorated like something from the Victorian Era; Chintz and flowers, frilly and stuffy. Chokingly girly. It wasn't. Oh, it was undeniable a female place, but it was feminine rather than girlish. The door opened into the sitting room, which had a sage green couch with big white pillows and lampshades. The lavender curtains had been drawn against the cold air and what was probably a dreary scene outside. The art against the walls was lovely; no modern skyscrapers with red splashes to indicate blood and lust, or wriggling shapes than reminded him of female sex organs during ovulation.A small little galley kitchen on the right showed no dirty dishes in the sink, and a gleaming espresso machine on the countertop next to an equally gleaming microwave.He half-carried, half-dragged her to the only other door, guessing it to be the bedroom.It was, and here was more proof of neat, uncluttered taste. The room was tiny, with built-in cupboards and barely enough space to walk around the bed to the bathroom on the other side.“You gonna kiss me now?” she asked when he helped her onto the bed and slid a pillow under her head.“Sure, thing, honey,” he said as he switched on the bedside lamp so he could turn off the harsh overhead fixture. “In a minute, okay? You just wait right there.”He made sure she wasn't too close to the edge to roll off and brought her a glass of water from the kitchen. He found Advils in her bathroom cabinet, along with some make-up and an unopened packet of condoms. Pity stirred his heart. She was well and truly lonely, wasn't she? All cosseted in her small little apartment, hiding behind books and pretty paintings. So far he hadn't seen any sign of a cat, but maybe the building didn't allow pets.He found a heater and turned it up. She was lying suspiciously still on her side, one arm flung out to the side. He tucked it into a more comfortable position. It was the desire to get her comfortable as much as curiosity that made him wait until she was deeply asleep, or, more likely, passed out, before he pulled her coat off to reveal her body.She was small, and firm, and the only word he could think of to describe her was neat. She was utterly non-descript. She had tits, but they were just there, situated on her chest much in the way a nose is situated more or less in the middle of a face. He doubted he'd notice them if he saw her in the line at the grocery store other than for the obvious reason; they were female tits, and therefore bound to be noticed, even if they did not get a second look. They were completely average tits. He couldn't see much, as she was wearing a creamy beige sweater that had clearly been bought with an eye on heat rather than hotness, and brown slacks that sat loose around her legs and revealed nothing about what her body looked like.He shook his head as he slipped her shoes from her feet and considered doing her another favor and tossing them in the trash. They were butt-fuck-ugly. He hated sensible shoes on a woman.He pulled the quilt over her body and since he had some experience with drunk people, found a plastic bucket in her kitchen to put next to her bed. She seemed to have missed the psychedelic-yawn, porcelain-god-worshipping part of the evening, but judging by the fact that her body seemed to have its own ideas of how to react to alcohol, he wasn't taking anything for granted. She would hate herself if she woke up in the morning, only to find she'd puked all over her pretty, plush white carpet. Who bought white carpets anyway? Wasn't that like a direct invite to Karma and Murphy and all those other sadistic creatures who makes people spill coffee just after they get dressed in a new shirt, or back their car into a lamp pole the first time they take it out for a drive?He left a piece of paper with the instructions to drink the tablets and the water next to the glass and went back downstairs, only to tread back up when he couldn't find his keys in his pocket.It wasn't in the living room either, nor anywhere else in her house that he could find. He went as far as opening her underwear drawer (he really was desperate, after all,) and was not too surprised that they weren't there. He was pleasantly surprised, however, that the librarian lady had quite good taste in underwear. He didn't touch any of the pretty lace and satin snips of fabric, but he could imagine them on her easily enough, and it made for a pretty image.He finally located his keys; sitting in the ignition of his car, the doors firmly locked against him.“Son of a bitch!” he said, slamming a frustrated hand onto the snow-covered roof. “Dammit!”He took his phone from his pocket and tried to call a cab company to come get him and take him home to get his spare key, but just as he got an operator his phone made a cheerful beep just before the battery died. He considered throwing the piece of shit into the nearest heap of snow, but figured that would be counterproductive.He was stuck, and he'd be dammed if he was going to wait for the sun to rise outside on the streets, looking at a locked car.He trudged back upstairs, grateful that he hadn't been able to lock the door behind him and made himself at least semi-comfortable on Emily's couch, and closed his eyes. By any luck he would be awake and gone long before Miss Emily found the courage to leave her bed. And when he left, he would stay gone. She probably won't remember the impulsive promise he had made to help her get confidence, so she won't be upset when he doesn't show up. He already regretted the invitation; Emily the librarian was not the type of girl he needed to spend time with. She was too shy; she said so herself; and she dressed atrociously. Except for her underwear, of course. She was plain, bordering on dowdy, a self-proclaimed virgin, (whatever she had meant by technically) and she had you're-going-to-break-my-heart written all over her.She was a librarian, for goodness sake. That was a species of women best suited to the porn industry, where they wore impractical high-heeled pumps and button down shirts with sexy glasses and tight skirts. If you put Emily in an outfit like that she would; well, she would look hot, to be honest. Almost any woman would look awesome, dressed like that. He imagined it easily, right down to the stern look she was giving him for putting a book in the wrong shelf.“It belongs in the back,” she would say and motion for him to follow her so she could show him where to put it. He would wait for the right moment to pin her against the shelves and kiss the living daylights out of her while his hands explored her hot and eager curves. She would slide one leg around his waist and grind against him seductively;Brandon came to his senses with a jolt, his hand around his cock. He groaned. This was ridiculous. He was sporting a hard-on for the most wood-uninspiring girl he's ever met. She was shy and plain and, frankly, her life was a little pathetic. She had to be at least twenty-six and she'd never had sex? What was he even doing in her house, other than trying to beat one out?He swore and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable and wishing he had a blanket.This was what he got for playing the Good Samaritan.Emily could feel the light all the way down to her queasy stomach, and it burned the whole way down.“Oh,” she moaned and wondered, briefly, if a freight train or a passenger one had hit her. The question seemed important, somehow. Her head felt like the maze of a Pac-Man game. Something was running around inside there and eating bits of grey-matter. She tried to squint through the smallest of slits she could make with eyelids; straight into the light of her bedside lamp. She could hear her corneas go up in flames. She whimpered and turned her face into her pillow to hide from it. She regretted waking up with every fiber of her being. The longer she was awake, the more issues were brought under her attention by her irate body. Her mouth tasted like something she would gag at if she were to smell it on her way to wok. Her body was sore, and she was nauseous. The most pressing problem, however, was her bladder, which was screaming for attention. She eased her legs over the side of her bed carefully, surprised to find herself in her wrinkled angora sweater and slacks of the previous day. At least she'd had the sense to kick off her shoes the previous evening before she got in bed.Her eyes fell on the bright red bucket sitting next to her bed. It was the one she used when she washed floors or windows, and it belonged in her kitchen on top of the cupboard that holds other cleaning supplies. What was it doing next to her bed? The next second she grabbed for it as her stomach revolted against the switch from horizontal to vertical. She was sick; violently and tear-inducingly sick. When it was over she sat there, sweating and just trying to get her breath. Another wave hit her and she was infinitely grateful for the bucket, though she still had no idea how it got there.Finally it seemed to be over for real. She made her way cautiously to her bathroom and emptied the bucket in the toilet with a grimace. She would clean it later. No, she would throw it out. Nobody needed a reminder like that sitting in their kitchen.She flushed the toilet before she unbuckled her slacks and sat down, relief spreading over her body like a flush. Eventually she realized she couldn't hide on her toilet forever and she got up.She just looked at herself in the mirror. Was that her? That rumpled, bleary-eyed stranger who's make-up had smeared and whose hair; well, to be honest, the ruthless bun she'd tied her hair in had held pretty well. It still looked reasonably neat, in comparison to the rest of her. But her skin was white, her eyes red. There were pillow-creases on her check and she smelled like; No. There was no words to describe the odors wafting around her. But it was foul and she might need to burn her clothes.She pulled it off, stepped into the shower and closed the curtain. The next second she screamed when the icy water hit her skin and she realized too late that she should have waited a minute for the hot water to reach the pipes. It cleared her head instantly, however, and she forced herself to stand there while it warmed.That's when she heard her bathroom door swing open, and an unfamiliar voice say, “What the hell?”Oh, dear heavens! There was a man in her apartment.Brandon could see vague movements behind the translucent curtain; he truly hated those things; but nothing else. He'd woken up to the cheerful sounds of somebody throwing up and considered leaving before she emerged. But he would still be stranded until he could get home for his spare key, and he knew the lady would probably have a few questions regarding the previous evening. It seemed cruel now to leave her to her own speculations. And then she'd screamed and although he knew there was probably no crazy axe-murderer in her bathroom, he did feel some concern. Or, at the very least, the desire to be spectator to her humiliation. The uncharacteristic bout of pettiness was undoubtedly brought upon by the crick in his neck after spending the night on a couch that was too short for his frame. Why didn't women invest in man-sized leather couches or lazy-boys with cup-holders?“Who‘s there?” she asked, and he could hear the shiver in her voice. Was it fear or cold?“Me,” he said, wanting to punish her; just a little; for the worst night of his life. Not that it was entirely her fault. He had decided to help her home all on his own, after all. But the punishment her couch had meted out had neutralized his part in this little clusterfuck. That, and the raging case of blue balls he was suffering from even now. Though, to be fair, there was no way in which he could hold her responsible for that.“I,” she said.“What?” Brandon asked, confused.“You mean I. Not me. Grammatically speaking…”“You're giving me a grammar lesson?” he asked, astounded. “You're naked in the shower and there's a stranger outside who could, for all intent and purposes, have a chainsaw or an electric appliance, and you're pointing out grammatical errors?”There was a moment of silence, during which he could only hear the sound of running water.“Do you have a chainsaw or an electric appliance?” she asked after a few seconds. Steam was rising and she sighed in pleasure. The sound shot straight downstairs. He winced.“No,” he admitted.“Well, then,” she said as if that explained everything. “I assume we met last night?”“Sort of.”“Did we…” There was trepidation in her voice now. “Did we have sex?”He grinned. There was no way he was passing up this opportunity.“Baby, you rocked my world,” he said. “Twice. Where'd you learn to do that thing with your tongue?”“What thing?”“That thing where you; Oh never mind, I'll show you later. Mind if I join you?” He jiggled his belt, making it sound as if he was pulling off his pants.“No!” she said quickly. “I'm naked!”“That's the idea,' he said. “Naked and wet. Just the way I like you best. Just like last night. Man! You were wet.”He thought he heard her whimper something about deities unknown.“Want me to go make coffee instead?” he asked, taking pity on her.“Yes,” she seized the opportunity. “Please. Coffee. Why don't you take yours to go?”She was kicking him out? After everything he'd done for her the previous evening?“Now that's no way to talk to your new husband,” he said reprovingly.He could hear her shock in the very silence.“My what?”“Don't you remember?” Oh, he was enjoying this.“My what?”“After we met up at the bar, we went to a judge I know and got a special license. He married us. He's a good guy, Judge Henderson. Owed me a favor after I got rid of a little problem for him a year ago.”“Please leave,” she begged, close to tears, if her voice was anything to go by.“Now, honeybun, I told you last night the garbage disposal company I work for doesn't work over weekends. Where would I go?”She moaned, a pitiful sound that made him feel slightly guilty. There was a movement behind the curtain and then her head poked out. She was holding the curtain prudishly high to hide the rest of her.“Please tell me you're joking,” she pleaded.He let his silence speak for itself, while he took her in. Her eyes were bloodshot, but that didn't do much to distract from their beauty. Had he ever seen such big blue eyes outside the porcelain-doll industry? Why hadn't he noticed that before? He was standing close enough that he could see the water clinging against her long lashes. Her nose was fine with the cutest tilt, and her skin, though still slightly sallow from the previous evening, was perfect and unblemished.He was stunned. She was beautiful. How the hell had he missed that?“This can't be happening,” she said.His thoughts exactly. He could not be noticing her beauty now. It was just his libido talking. He'd spent a restless evening tossing around coldly on her couch, getting images of her all mixed up with his librarian fantasies. That's what this was. His cock was desperate to convince him he was attracted to her so he would make his move. And she would fall for it, no doubt about that. She was inexperienced and, by her own admission, desperate. If he turned on the charm, he would have her under him before the end of the day.But he wasn't that kind of a guy. The guy who sleep with girls and leave them when they bore him. And bore him she inevitably would. She was too quiet, too shy, too damn librarian-ish to hold his attention for longer than it took him to come. He preferred women with fiery personalities and lots of experience in pleasuring her lover in bed. Emily would probably faint dead the first time she saw him naked. And try to be prim and proper, and not want him to go down on her. Sex with her would have to be after dark, a quick, awkward coupling under the covers. She wouldn't want to do any of the things he liked; no blowjobs, no cunnilingus. Definitely no role-play. It would be utterly unfulfilling.So why wouldn't his cock stop trying to make happy-happy with her?“Don't worry,' he said, finally annoyed by himself and his thoughts and feelings. “It's not. I'll go make coffee. I'll even leave if you want me to.”She looked at him, blinking those big eyes of hers.“No,” she said. “Stay. I'll be there in a few minutes.”She brushed her teeth and even her tongue for what felt like hours to no avail. The taste of her humiliation sat as if the enamel on her teeth had absorbed it. She felt as if she was chewing on moss as far as she went. She twisted the towel around her head and drank the Advils next to her bed. Bits and pieces of the previous evening was filtering down to her. She had been at the library and Mrs. Gunnings; bless her heart; had been talking about how Emily needed to find a nice young man to take care of her. Of how nice it was to go home and not spend the evening alone. Of how nice it was to go out and hold somebody's hand in public. Of the lovely man who'd swept her daughter right of her feet and now they were married with a little baby and how happy they were; she'd talked and talked until Emily was so depressed with her own lonely little life that she decided to stop for a drink, rather than face her empty apartment. As she sat there, she kept thinking of ways to meet somebody; clearly, her job was no help; and the thought had somehow taken root that people met other people in bars. When they were drunk. So she'd ordered one drink after another, hoping she would magically become sexy and; and pretty and desirable. And somebody would magically notice her and fall magically in love with her and they would magically live happily ever after.To be continued, by horn pixy.

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Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy by horn pixy. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected.Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy for many years, but Emily was hardly his idea of a hot librarian. She was the type of women who came a side-serving of Complication. So why couldn’t he stay away from her?It was almost time for last call. Brandon wiped the sodden rag over the counter and put the empty glass the girl had just put down into the crate under the bar with the other dirty glasses.“One more?” he asked. She nodded and took her wallet from her purse. He handed her the scotch on the rocks; her sixth or seventh one for the evening; and wondered how she managed to keep her balance on the high barstool. Her eyes had that glazed look of somebody who had definitely had a few too many, but if he had not been the one to pour her drinks; all six or seven of them; he would not have guessed she was drunk. There was no characteristic slumping or wobbling or even raucous laughter. In fact, her ramrod straight posture and uncanny balance reminded him of a ballet teacher, especially with her hair scraped back into a bun like that. She was pretty enough, in a neat, mousy little way. It was impossible to hazard a guess at the figure under the bulky, shapeless coat she was wearing over goodness knew what. She was wearing glasses with a nice frame that actually suited her face in a non-descript kind of way. Brandon had never seen such a dignified drunk in his life. She had better manners drunk than most people had when they were stone cold sober and sitting their grandmother's sitting rooms.“Thank you,” she said politely when she accepted her change and slipped half of it into the tip-jar, as she had been doing all evening. He kept an eye on her as he started straightening bottles on the shelf behind him, wondering about her story.Brandon loved his job. He owned several bars and still spent an evening now and then behind the counter. After serving drinks for three years across the globe when he was fresh out of high school, he enjoyed the occasional trip down memory lane. It fascinated him to see how alike people were, no matter where they lived. Broken hearts healed just as slowly in Hawaii as they did in Australia, and flirting was a universal art that did not differ too much from one place to another. He loved watching the games, the intrigues, the emotions, as people relaxed around him. He'd seen it all; the break-ups and the make-ups, the hopeful souls scouring the bar for the love of their lives; or at least the lay of the night. He'd seen people drink to forget, or to try to keep memories alive. He'd seen them drink because there was nothing else to do, or because they couldn't do anything else. He'd seen the lonely girls go home with the wrong men and knew they'd wake up the next morning with alcohol on their breath and regret in their hearts. He'd seen women play fast and loose, and the men who managed to escape their clutches. He'd seen the best and the worst of people, but he thought he'd never quite seen anything like the girl sitting there in a dull brown coat, finishing one drink after another without toppling over or falling into somebody's lap on her way to the bathroom. She was fresh and new, and it intrigued him.The bar was rather empty in comparison to most Friday nights. But to be fair, it was the middle of the month and there was a blizzard raging on outside. He was closing up earlier than usual to give the staff and the customers the chance to get home before it got worse. The neat lady; there was other way to describe her; was one of the diehards, but since she was hardly causing a scene, he didn't ask her to leave just yet while they were cleaning up.Finally they were done, and he had to ask her to leave. She blinked owlishly at him from behind her glasses.“Excuse me?” she asked, as if she had not heard him the first time.He leaned closer and thought he caught a whiff of something clean and fresh under the ripe smell of alcohol and closed-up people that hung over the room.“It's closing time,” he repeated. “We're going to lock up.”“Oh,” she said, frowning slightly as her impaired brain tried to sort out his words. “Right,” she said finally. “Well, I'll just go then, won't I?”“Can I call you a cab?” he asked, because she still had not moved from her seat. He waved a hand at the two waiters and the other barman, indicating that he would lock up and they could go home.She looked at him, her eyes still slightly unfocused.“To take you home,” he explained. “You shouldn't drive.”“Did I come with a car?” she asked, bewildered. “I hope not. I don't own a car. Did I steal one?”He grinned. This was fun. Normally drunk people just annoyed him a bit, but this girl struck a chord somewhere in his chest he'd never known to exist.“Not that I know of,” he said. “How did you get here?”“I must have walked,” she said, puzzled. “From work. Fancy that.”“What work do you do?” he asked as Rod, one of the waiters, closed the door behind the other staff members.“I'm a libal; librali; a li bra rian,” she said, looking quite pleased with herself for managing the word. Fancy that indeed, he thought, his mind going into immediate overdrive at the mention of her career. Like many, many men, he harbored a secret Librarian Fantasy. Even the way she broke it up into syllables didn't diminish the thoughts running though his head.The job suited her perfectly, he thought. She was cut out for the silence and air of wisdom and propriety that hung around the books like dusty clouds. He imagined being scolded by her for being too loud and grinned.“Where do you live?” he wanted to know. He would help her home, call her a cab, and forget about her. She was not the type of librarian he fantasized about; she had glasses, but they were the wrong kind, and even though her hair was scraped back out of her face, there was nothing sexy about it. She wasn’t wearing nearly enough make-up and not at all the right kind of clothes, either. She was just a girl, hiding behind stacks of books. Her fingers were unadorned, and he guessed her to be single. She probably had four or five cats and a vibrator named Bob hidden in her nightstand that she rarely used because it made her feel guilty.“Up the street, I think,” she said, pointing vaguely with her fingers. “That way. You have pretty eyes.”He lifted an amused brow. ‘That way' would take him to the kitchen and eventually, an alleyway behind the building.“How about an address?” he asked. “To give to the cab-driver.”He grabbed a paper napkin and a pen. She wrote slowly, carefully, her handwriting still managing to be neater than his illegible scrawl.“You don't live far from me,” he said, lying smoothly. “Just one block south, to be precise. Would you like a lift home?”“Never get in the car with strangers,” she said firmly.“A cab driver is also a stranger,” he pointed out.“Not the same thing.”“Nope. But on second thought, I'm not sure you'll find a cab in this weather.”“That's right,” she said, smiling broadly for the first time. The expression transformed her face from plain to pretty. Her innocence amused and tickled him. “It's snowing. Like a White Christmas.”He couldn't help it. He grinned; it was January. She wasn’t just drunk, she was completely sloshed. But still amazingly stable and logical.“Let's get you home,” he said, coming around the bar to help her from the stool. This was not something he ever did. He owned the bars; how the patrons got home was their problem, not his. But he couldn't just leave this girl to her own devices, not unless he wanted the next time he heard about her to be her name in an obituary. She'd probably fall asleep in the cold right outside his bar and die. It would cause all sorts of unwanted paperwork and police questions.She didn't even need his help standing up. The liquor, it seemed, had not affected her balance one bit. Still, he kept a hand on her back to steer her. He locked up behind them while she stood looking at him through her wide, trusting eyes.“You're really tall,” she said. “I wish I was taller.”“You're the perfect height,” he said. “See? My arm fits right round your shoulders. You're like a portable armrest.”She didn't giggle at that, and he wondered of she'd heard him. It was a pretty lame joke, but in his experience, drunk people will laugh at anything.“I wish I was hot,” she said. “Like you. But not like you. Like a girl. Then maybe I could have sex.”He coughed, choking on his breath, the way some people trip over their own feet.“What?” he asked when he finally had the air back in the right pipes.“I wish I was prettier,” she said matter-of-factly. “I'm not being pessimistic, really. I just; well, no use crying for the moon, is there?”“You are pretty,” he said automatically. She sighed.“I'm not. But thank you for pretending, anyway. Oh, my goodness, it's cold.”He had just opened the back door and yes, it was cold indeed. The wind was blowing sheets of snow into their faces and heaping it against the side of the building. He steered her with one hand in the direction of his car, which was parked under the staff-members-only roof.He cranked up the heater and took the drive slowly and carefully. The cold was making her drowsy, and he could see her head drooping slightly. No doubt the drinks were finally taking effect.“I take it you don't drink often?” he said.“Nope,” she said, pulling the edges of her rather ugly coat closer around her. “I've never been drunk before.”Until tonight, he thought, but he waited for her to continue on her own. After a few seconds, she did.“I'm sort of a virgin,” she said.” By choice. But it's not my choice.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Technically I'm no longer one. But I've never been with a man, you know?”Well, he certainly knew now. But his years as a barman had taught him when to listen and when to talk. So he kept quiet.“Well, anyway, I always thought it was because I'm too shy. Men don't like that, right?”“Some do,” he said, because what else could he say?“Liar,” she said fondly. “Nobody wants to be with somebody who's ashamed of themselves. I know I wouldn't like that in a man, so I can hardly expect any man to show interest in me. That's why I went out tonight,” she added after a few seconds. “Too see if drinking helps me get loose. Turns out I'm even boring when I'm drunk.”“You're not boring,” he said firmly. “You just need to learn how to fake it. Everybody is secretly self-conscious. Some just hide it better that others. You need to find a way to pretend. If you can convince yourself, you know other people will believe it.”“I don't think I'd know how,” she said. “I'm no good at acting or pretending or lying. I can't even lie to telephone sales people. ““I'll help you,” he said impulsively. “I'll show you how to fake it.”“Really?”“Sure. When you're sober. Anything I teach you now will be wasted.”“Like me,” she sighed. “I'm wasted, and all I want to do is go to bed. That's my building up there.'“That's a gas station,” he said with a grin.“Oh.” She frowned. “Then it's not my building, is it?”“I sincerely hope not.”They found her building eventually, tucked away between a tall, scary-looking block of flats and a three-story bridal boutique. He helped her out of the car and up the steps. It took her three times to key the right series of numbers into the keypad so the door would open. Finally, she recited them to him to read it in.“Thank you,” she said awkwardly. “For the lift, and the ear.”He grinned. “No problem,” he said. “Hey, what's your name?”“Emily,” she said.Emily. It suited her perfectly, as if her parents had had a glimpse of her in the future when they named her. She looked like an Emily more than anybody else he'd ever met.“I'm Brandon,” he said. “Can I pick you up tomorrow around noon for your first lesson?”“Lesson?”“In faking it.”It occurred to him then that ‘faking it' might refer to something else as well, but he always made damn sure a girl does not need to fake it when she's with him. Not that he planned to have sex with her. This girl's second name was Complication. It would be cruel to pluck her cherry and then be off on his merry way. She was not the type to come; and then go.“Okay. Wanna come up?”He considered saying no, but realized she might need help to get into her apartment. It seemed her brain had simply been behind on its reaction, and she was finally in the clumsy imbalance phase of drunkenness.She might get hurt, or lost, or wind up asleep on a hallway chair somewhere.“Sure,”' he said.It was three interesting flights of stairs. She only almost-fell seven times, even with his arm around her waist. She was still incessantly polite, apologizing profusely and telling him how pretty he was.Yeah, because that's what every guy secretly wants to be. Pretty.He had to take her keys and unlock the door himself. She was toppling over and had to hold onto the wall with both hands to keep from introducing her ass to the ground. It was a good thing she was wearing sensible flats rather than sexy heels, and he had to be the first guy ever to have that particular thought.“There we go,” he said when he finally got the door open. She would need to get a locksmith to take a look at the thing; the key had stuck a bit, as if the mechanism inside was rusty.Her house surprised him. He had unconsciously expected it to be decorated like something from the Victorian Era; Chintz and flowers, frilly and stuffy. Chokingly girly. It wasn't. Oh, it was undeniable a female place, but it was feminine rather than girlish. The door opened into the sitting room, which had a sage green couch with big white pillows and lampshades. The lavender curtains had been drawn against the cold air and what was probably a dreary scene outside. The art against the walls was lovely; no modern skyscrapers with red splashes to indicate blood and lust, or wriggling shapes than reminded him of female sex organs during ovulation.A small little galley kitchen on the right showed no dirty dishes in the sink, and a gleaming espresso machine on the countertop next to an equally gleaming microwave.He half-carried, half-dragged her to the only other door, guessing it to be the bedroom.It was, and here was more proof of neat, uncluttered taste. The room was tiny, with built-in cupboards and barely enough space to walk around the bed to the bathroom on the other side.“You gonna kiss me now?” she asked when he helped her onto the bed and slid a pillow under her head.“Sure, thing, honey,” he said as he switched on the bedside lamp so he could turn off the harsh overhead fixture. “In a minute, okay? You just wait right there.”He made sure she wasn't too close to the edge to roll off and brought her a glass of water from the kitchen. He found Advils in her bathroom cabinet, along with some make-up and an unopened packet of condoms. Pity stirred his heart. She was well and truly lonely, wasn’t she? All cosseted in her small little apartment, hiding behind books and pretty paintings. So far he hadn't seen any sign of a cat, but maybe the building didn't allow pets.He found a heater and turned it up. She was lying suspiciously still on her side, one arm flung out to the side. He tucked it into a more comfortable position. It was the desire to get her comfortable as much as curiosity that made him wait until she was deeply asleep, or, more likely, passed out, before he pulled her coat off to reveal her body.She was small, and firm, and the only word he could think of to describe her was neat. She was utterly non-descript. She had tits, but they were just there, situated on her chest much in the way a nose is situated more or less in the middle of a face. He doubted he'd notice them if he saw her in the line at the grocery store other than for the obvious reason; they were female tits, and therefore bound to be noticed, even if they did not get a second look. They were completely average tits. He couldn't see much, as she was wearing a creamy beige sweater that had clearly been bought with an eye on heat rather than hotness, and brown slacks that sat loose around her legs and revealed nothing about what her body looked like.He shook his head as he slipped her shoes from her feet and considered doing her another favor and tossing them in the trash. They were butt-fuck-ugly. He hated sensible shoes on a woman.He pulled the quilt over her body and since he had some experience with drunk people, found a plastic bucket in her kitchen to put next to her bed. She seemed to have missed the psychedelic-yawn, porcelain-god-worshipping part of the evening, but judging by the fact that her body seemed to have its own ideas of how to react to alcohol, he wasn’t taking anything for granted. She would hate herself if she woke up in the morning, only to find she'd puked all over her pretty, plush white carpet. Who bought white carpets anyway? Wasn’t that like a direct invite to Karma and Murphy and all those other sadistic creatures who makes people spill coffee just after they get dressed in a new shirt, or back their car into a lamp pole the first time they take it out for a drive?He left a piece of paper with the instructions to drink the tablets and the water next to the glass and went back downstairs, only to tread back up when he couldn't find his keys in his pocket.It wasn't in the living room either, nor anywhere else in her house that he could find. He went as far as opening her underwear drawer (he really was desperate, after all,) and was not too surprised that they weren't there. He was pleasantly surprised, however, that the librarian lady had quite good taste in underwear. He didn't touch any of the pretty lace and satin snips of fabric, but he could imagine them on her easily enough, and it made for a pretty image.He finally located his keys; sitting in the ignition of his car, the doors firmly locked against him.“Son of a bitch!” he said, slamming a frustrated hand onto the snow-covered roof. “Dammit!”He took his phone from his pocket and tried to call a cab company to come get him and take him home to get his spare key, but just as he got an operator his phone made a cheerful beep just before the battery died. He considered throwing the piece of shit into the nearest heap of snow, but figured that would be counterproductive.He was stuck, and he'd be dammed if he was going to wait for the sun to rise outside on the streets, looking at a locked car.He trudged back upstairs, grateful that he hadn't been able to lock the door behind him and made himself at least semi-comfortable on Emily's couch, and closed his eyes. By any luck he would be awake and gone long before Miss Emily found the courage to leave her bed. And when he left, he would stay gone. She probably won't remember the impulsive promise he had made to help her get confidence, so she won't be upset when he doesn't show up. He already regretted the invitation; Emily the librarian was not the type of girl he needed to spend time with. She was too shy; she said so herself; and she dressed atrociously. Except for her underwear, of course. She was plain, bordering on dowdy, a self-proclaimed virgin, (whatever she had meant by technically) and she had you're-going-to-break-my-heart written all over her.She was a librarian, for goodness sake. That was a species of women best suited to the porn industry, where they wore impractical high-heeled pumps and button down shirts with sexy glasses and tight skirts. If you put Emily in an outfit like that she would; well, she would look hot, to be honest. Almost any woman would look awesome, dressed like that. He imagined it easily, right down to the stern look she was giving him for putting a book in the wrong shelf.“It belongs in the back,” she would say and motion for him to follow her so she could show him where to put it. He would wait for the right moment to pin her against the shelves and kiss the living daylights out of her while his hands explored her hot and eager curves. She would slide one leg around his waist and grind against him seductively;Brandon came to his senses with a jolt, his hand around his cock. He groaned. This was ridiculous. He was sporting a hard-on for the most wood-uninspiring girl he's ever met. She was shy and plain and, frankly, her life was a little pathetic. She had to be at least twenty-six and she'd never had sex? What was he even doing in her house, other than trying to beat one out?He swore and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable and wishing he had a blanket.This was what he got for playing the Good Samaritan.Emily could feel the light all the way down to her queasy stomach, and it burned the whole way down.“Oh,” she moaned and wondered, briefly, if a freight train or a passenger one had hit her. The question seemed important, somehow. Her head felt like the maze of a Pac-Man game. Something was running around inside there and eating bits of grey-matter. She tried to squint through the smallest of slits she could make with eyelids; straight into the light of her bedside lamp. She could hear her corneas go up in flames. She whimpered and turned her face into her pillow to hide from it. She regretted waking up with every fiber of her being. The longer she was awake, the more issues were brought under her attention by her irate body. Her mouth tasted like something she would gag at if she were to smell it on her way to wok. Her body was sore, and she was nauseous. The most pressing problem, however, was her bladder, which was screaming for attention. She eased her legs over the side of her bed carefully, surprised to find herself in her wrinkled angora sweater and slacks of the previous day. At least she'd had the sense to kick off her shoes the previous evening before she got in bed.Her eyes fell on the bright red bucket sitting next to her bed. It was the one she used when she washed floors or windows, and it belonged in her kitchen on top of the cupboard that holds other cleaning supplies. What was it doing next to her bed? The next second she grabbed for it as her stomach revolted against the switch from horizontal to vertical. She was sick; violently and tear-inducingly sick. When it was over she sat there, sweating and just trying to get her breath. Another wave hit her and she was infinitely grateful for the bucket, though she still had no idea how it got there.Finally it seemed to be over for real. She made her way cautiously to her bathroom and emptied the bucket in the toilet with a grimace. She would clean it later. No, she would throw it out. Nobody needed a reminder like that sitting in their kitchen.She flushed the toilet before she unbuckled her slacks and sat down, relief spreading over her body like a flush. Eventually she realized she couldn't hide on her toilet forever and she got up.She just looked at herself in the mirror. Was that her? That rumpled, bleary-eyed stranger who's make-up had smeared and whose hair; well, to be honest, the ruthless bun she'd tied her hair in had held pretty well. It still looked reasonably neat, in comparison to the rest of her. But her skin was white, her eyes red. There were pillow-creases on her check and she smelled like; No. There was no words to describe the odors wafting around her. But it was foul and she might need to burn her clothes.She pulled it off, stepped into the shower and closed the curtain. The next second she screamed when the icy water hit her skin and she realized too late that she should have waited a minute for the hot water to reach the pipes. It cleared her head instantly, however, and she forced herself to stand there while it warmed.That's when she heard her bathroom door swing open, and an unfamiliar voice say, “What the hell?”Oh, dear heavens! There was a man in her apartment.Brandon could see vague movements behind the translucent curtain; he truly hated those things; but nothing else. He'd woken up to the cheerful sounds of somebody throwing up and considered leaving before she emerged. But he would still be stranded until he could get home for his spare key, and he knew the lady would probably have a few questions regarding the previous evening. It seemed cruel now to leave her to her own speculations. And then she'd screamed and although he knew there was probably no crazy axe-murderer in her bathroom, he did feel some concern. Or, at the very least, the desire to be spectator to her humiliation. The uncharacteristic bout of pettiness was undoubtedly brought upon by the crick in his neck after spending the night on a couch that was too short for his frame. Why didn't women invest in man-sized leather couches or lazy-boys with cup-holders?“Who‘s there?” she asked, and he could hear the shiver in her voice. Was it fear or cold?“Me,” he said, wanting to punish her; just a little; for the worst night of his life. Not that it was entirely her fault. He had decided to help her home all on his own, after all. But the punishment her couch had meted out had neutralized his part in this little clusterfuck. That, and the raging case of blue balls he was suffering from even now. Though, to be fair, there was no way in which he could hold her responsible for that.“I,” she said.“What?” Brandon asked, confused.“You mean I. Not me. Grammatically speaking…”“You're giving me a grammar lesson?” he asked, astounded. “You're naked in the shower and there's a stranger outside who could, for all intent and purposes, have a chainsaw or an electric appliance, and you're pointing out grammatical errors?”There was a moment of silence, during which he could only hear the sound of running water.“Do you have a chainsaw or an electric appliance?” she asked after a few seconds. Steam was rising and she sighed in pleasure. The sound shot straight downstairs. He winced.“No,” he admitted.“Well, then,” she said as if that explained everything. “I assume we met last night?”“Sort of.”“Did we…” There was trepidation in her voice now. “Did we have sex?”He grinned. There was no way he was passing up this opportunity.“Baby, you rocked my world,” he said. “Twice. Where'd you learn to do that thing with your tongue?”“What thing?”“That thing where you; Oh never mind, I'll show you later. Mind if I join you?” He jiggled his belt, making it sound as if he was pulling off his pants.“No!” she said quickly. “I'm naked!”“That's the idea,' he said. “Naked and wet. Just the way I like you best. Just like last night. Man! You were wet.”He thought he heard her whimper something about deities unknown.“Want me to go make coffee instead?” he asked, taking pity on her.“Yes,” she seized the opportunity. “Please. Coffee. Why don't you take yours to go?”She was kicking him out? After everything he'd done for her the previous evening?“Now that's no way to talk to your new husband,” he said reprovingly.He could hear her shock in the very silence.“My what?”“Don't you remember?” Oh, he was enjoying this.“My what?”“After we met up at the bar, we went to a judge I know and got a special license. He married us. He's a good guy, Judge Henderson. Owed me a favor after I got rid of a little problem for him a year ago.”“Please leave,” she begged, close to tears, if her voice was anything to go by.“Now, honeybun, I told you last night the garbage disposal company I work for doesn't work over weekends. Where would I go?”She moaned, a pitiful sound that made him feel slightly guilty. There was a movement behind the curtain and then her head poked out. She was holding the curtain prudishly high to hide the rest of her.“Please tell me you're joking,” she pleaded.He let his silence speak for itself, while he took her in. Her eyes were bloodshot, but that didn't do much to distract from their beauty. Had he ever seen such big blue eyes outside the porcelain-doll industry? Why hadn't he noticed that before? He was standing close enough that he could see the water clinging against her long lashes. Her nose was fine with the cutest tilt, and her skin, though still slightly sallow from the previous evening, was perfect and unblemished.He was stunned. She was beautiful. How the hell had he missed that?“This can't be happening,” she said.His thoughts exactly. He could not be noticing her beauty now. It was just his libido talking. He'd spent a restless evening tossing around coldly on her couch, getting images of her all mixed up with his librarian fantasies. That's what this was. His cock was desperate to convince him he was attracted to her so he would make his move. And she would fall for it, no doubt about that. She was inexperienced and, by her own admission, desperate. If he turned on the charm, he would have her under him before the end of the day.But he wasn’t that kind of a guy. The guy who sleep with girls and leave them when they bore him. And bore him she inevitably would. She was too quiet, too shy, too damn librarian-ish to hold his attention for longer than it took him to come. He preferred women with fiery personalities and lots of experience in pleasuring her lover in bed. Emily would probably faint dead the first time she saw him naked. And try to be prim and proper, and not want him to go down on her. Sex with her would have to be after dark, a quick, awkward coupling under the covers. She wouldn't want to do any of the things he liked; no blowjobs, no cunnilingus. Definitely no role-play. It would be utterly unfulfilling.So why wouldn't his cock stop trying to make happy-happy with her?“Don't worry,' he said, finally annoyed by himself and his thoughts and feelings. “It's not. I'll go make coffee. I'll even leave if you want me to.”She looked at him, blinking those big eyes of hers.“No,” she said. “Stay. I'll be there in a few minutes.”She brushed her teeth and even her tongue for what felt like hours to no avail. The taste of her humiliation sat as if the enamel on her teeth had absorbed it. She felt as if she was chewing on moss as far as she went. She twisted the towel around her head and drank the Advils next to her bed. Bits and pieces of the previous evening was filtering down to her. She had been at the library and Mrs. Gunnings; bless her heart; had been talking about how Emily needed to find a nice young man to take care of her. Of how nice it was to go home and not spend the evening alone. Of how nice it was to go out and hold somebody's hand in public. Of the lovely man who'd swept her daughter right of her feet and now they were married with a little baby and how happy they were; she'd talked and talked until Emily was so depressed with her own lonely little life that she decided to stop for a drink, rather than face her empty apartment. As she sat there, she kept thinking of ways to meet somebody; clearly, her job was no help; and the thought had somehow taken root that people met other people in bars. When they were drunk. So she'd ordered one drink after another, hoping she would magically become sexy and; and pretty and desirable. And somebody would magically notice her and fall magically in love with her and they would magically live happily ever after.To be continued, by horn pixy.

Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy  by horn pixy. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected. Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy for many years, but Emily was hardly his idea of a hot librarian. She was the type of women who came a side-serving of Complication. So why couldn't he stay away from her? It was almost time for last call. Brandon wiped the sodden rag over the counter and put the empty glass the girl had just put down into the crate under the bar with the other dirty glasses. [[MORE]] “One more?” he asked. She nodded and took her wallet from her purse. He handed her the scotch on the rocks; her sixth or seventh one for the evening; and wondered how she managed to keep her balance on the high barstool. Her eyes had that glazed look of somebody who had definitely had a few too many, but if he had not been the one to pour her drinks; all six or seven of them; he would not have guessed she was drunk. There was no characteristic slumping or wobbling or even raucous laughter. In fact, her ramrod straight posture and uncanny balance reminded him of a ballet teacher, especially with her hair scraped back into a bun like that. She was pretty enough, in a neat, mousy little way. It was impossible to hazard a guess at the figure under the bulky, shapeless coat she was wearing over goodness knew what. She was wearing glasses with a nice frame that actually suited her face in a non-descript kind of way. Brandon had never seen such a dignified drunk in his life. She had better manners drunk than most people had when they were stone cold sober and sitting their grandmother's sitting rooms. “Thank you,” she said politely when she accepted her change and slipped half of it into the tip-jar, as she had been doing all evening. He kept an eye on her as he started straightening bottles on the shelf behind him, wondering about her story. Brandon loved his job. He owned several bars and still spent an evening now and then behind the counter. After serving drinks for three years across the globe when he was fresh out of high school, he enjoyed the occasional trip down memory lane. It fascinated him to see how alike people were, no matter where they lived. Broken hearts healed just as slowly in Hawaii as they did in Australia, and flirting was a universal art that did not differ too much from one place to another. He loved watching the games, the intrigues, the emotions, as people relaxed around him. He'd seen it all; the break-ups and the make-ups, the hopeful souls scouring the bar for the love of their lives; or at least the lay of the night. He'd seen people drink to forget, or to try to keep memories alive. He'd seen them drink because there was nothing else to do, or because they couldn't do anything else. He'd seen the lonely girls go home with the wrong men and knew they'd wake up the next morning with alcohol on their breath and regret in their hearts. He'd seen women play fast and loose, and the men who managed to escape their clutches. He'd seen the best and the worst of people, but he thought he'd never quite seen anything like the girl sitting there in a dull brown coat, finishing one drink after another without toppling over or falling into somebody's lap on her way to the bathroom. She was fresh and new, and it intrigued him. The bar was rather empty in comparison to most Friday nights. But to be fair, it was the middle of the month and there was a blizzard raging on outside. He was closing up earlier than usual to give the staff and the customers the chance to get home before it got worse. The neat lady; there was other way to describe her; was one of the diehards, but since she was hardly causing a scene, he didn't ask her to leave just yet while they were cleaning up. Finally they were done, and he had to ask her to leave. She blinked owlishly at him from behind her glasses. “Excuse me?” she asked, as if she had not heard him the first time. He leaned closer and thought he caught a whiff of something clean and fresh under the ripe smell of alcohol and closed-up people that hung over the room. “It's closing time,” he repeated. “We're going to lock up.” “Oh,” she said, frowning slightly as her impaired brain tried to sort out his words. “Right,” she said finally. “Well, I'll just go then, won't I?” “Can I call you a cab?” he asked, because she still had not moved from her seat. He waved a hand at the two waiters and the other barman, indicating that he would lock up and they could go home. She looked at him, her eyes still slightly unfocused. “To take you home,” he explained. “You shouldn't drive.” “Did I come with a car?” she asked, bewildered. “I hope not. I don't own a car. Did I steal one?” He grinned. This was fun. Normally drunk people just annoyed him a bit, but this girl struck a chord somewhere in his chest he'd never known to exist. “Not that I know of,” he said. “How did you get here?” “I must have walked,” she said, puzzled. “From work. Fancy that.” “What work do you do?” he asked as Rod, one of the waiters, closed the door behind the other staff members. “I'm a libal; librali; a li bra rian,” she said, looking quite pleased with herself for managing the word. Fancy that indeed, he thought, his mind going into immediate overdrive at the mention of her career. Like many, many men, he harbored a secret Librarian Fantasy. Even the way she broke it up into syllables didn't diminish the thoughts running though his head. The job suited her perfectly, he thought. She was cut out for the silence and air of wisdom and propriety that hung around the books like dusty clouds. He imagined being scolded by her for being too loud and grinned. “Where do you live?” he wanted to know. He would help her home, call her a cab, and forget about her. She was not the type of librarian he fantasized about; she had glasses, but they were the wrong kind, and even though her hair was scraped back out of her face, there was nothing sexy about it. She wasn't wearing nearly enough make-up and not at all the right kind of clothes, either. She was just a girl, hiding behind stacks of books. Her fingers were unadorned, and he guessed her to be single. She probably had four or five cats and a vibrator named Bob hidden in her nightstand that she rarely used because it made her feel guilty. “Up the street, I think,” she said, pointing vaguely with her fingers. “That way. You have pretty eyes.” He lifted an amused brow. ‘That way' would take him to the kitchen and eventually, an alleyway behind the building. “How about an address?” he asked. “To give to the cab-driver.” He grabbed a paper napkin and a pen. She wrote slowly, carefully, her handwriting still managing to be neater than his illegible scrawl. “You don't live far from me,” he said, lying smoothly. “Just one block south, to be precise. Would you like a lift home?” “Never get in the car with strangers,” she said firmly. “A cab driver is also a stranger,” he pointed out. “Not the same thing.” “Nope. But on second thought, I'm not sure you'll find a cab in this weather.” “That's right,” she said, smiling broadly for the first time. The expression transformed her face from plain to pretty. Her innocence amused and tickled him. “It's snowing. Like a White Christmas.” He couldn't help it. He grinned; it was January. She wasn't just drunk, she was completely sloshed. But still amazingly stable and logical. “Let's get you home,” he said, coming around the bar to help her from the stool. This was not something he ever did. He owned the bars; how the patrons got home was their problem, not his. But he couldn't just leave this girl to her own devices, not unless he wanted the next time he heard about her to be her name in an obituary. She'd probably fall asleep in the cold right outside his bar and die. It would cause all sorts of unwanted paperwork and police questions. She didn't even need his help standing up. The liquor, it seemed, had not affected her balance one bit. Still, he kept a hand on her back to steer her. He locked up behind them while she stood looking at him through her wide, trusting eyes. “You're really tall,” she said. “I wish I was taller.” “You're the perfect height,” he said. “See? My arm fits right round your shoulders. You're like a portable armrest.” She didn't giggle at that, and he wondered of she'd heard him. It was a pretty lame joke, but in his experience, drunk people will laugh at anything. “I wish I was hot,” she said. “Like you. But not like you. Like a girl. Then maybe I could have sex.” He coughed, choking on his breath, the way some people trip over their own feet. “What?” he asked when he finally had the air back in the right pipes. “I wish I was prettier,” she said matter-of-factly. “I'm not being pessimistic, really. I just; well, no use crying for the moon, is there?” “You are pretty,” he said automatically. She sighed. “I'm not. But thank you for pretending, anyway. Oh, my goodness, it's cold.” He had just opened the back door and yes, it was cold indeed. The wind was blowing sheets of snow into their faces and heaping it against the side of the building. He steered her with one hand in the direction of his car, which was parked under the staff-members-only roof. He cranked up the heater and took the drive slowly and carefully. The cold was making her drowsy, and he could see her head drooping slightly. No doubt the drinks were finally taking effect. “I take it you don't drink often?” he said. “Nope,” she said, pulling the edges of her rather ugly coat closer around her. “I've never been drunk before.” Until tonight, he thought, but he waited for her to continue on her own. After a few seconds, she did. “I'm sort of a virgin,” she said.” By choice. But it's not my choice.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Technically I'm no longer one. But I've never been with a man, you know?” Well, he certainly knew now. But his years as a barman had taught him when to listen and when to talk. So he kept quiet. “Well, anyway, I always thought it was because I'm too shy. Men don't like that, right?” “Some do,” he said, because what else could he say? “Liar,” she said fondly. “Nobody wants to be with somebody who's ashamed of themselves. I know I wouldn't like that in a man, so I can hardly expect any man to show interest in me. That's why I went out tonight,” she added after a few seconds. “Too see if drinking helps me get loose. Turns out I'm even boring when I'm drunk.” “You're not boring,” he said firmly. “You just need to learn how to fake it. Everybody is secretly self-conscious. Some just hide it better that others. You need to find a way to pretend. If you can convince yourself, you know other people will believe it.” “I don't think I'd know how,” she said. “I'm no good at acting or pretending or lying. I can't even lie to telephone sales people. “ “I'll help you,” he said impulsively. “I'll show you how to fake it.” “Really?” “Sure. When you're sober. Anything I teach you now will be wasted.” “Like me,” she sighed. “I'm wasted, and all I want to do is go to bed. That's my building up there.' “That's a gas station,” he said with a grin. “Oh.” She frowned. “Then it's not my building, is it?” “I sincerely hope not.” They found her building eventually, tucked away between a tall, scary-looking block of flats and a three-story bridal boutique. He helped her out of the car and up the steps. It took her three times to key the right series of numbers into the keypad so the door would open. Finally, she recited them to him to read it in. “Thank you,” she said awkwardly. “For the lift, and the ear.” He grinned. “No problem,” he said. “Hey, what's your name?” “Emily,” she said. Emily. It suited her perfectly, as if her parents had had a glimpse of her in the future when they named her. She looked like an Emily more than anybody else he'd ever met. “I'm Brandon,” he said. “Can I pick you up tomorrow around noon for your first lesson?” “Lesson?” “In faking it.” It occurred to him then that ‘faking it' might refer to something else as well, but he always made damn sure a girl does not need to fake it when she's with him. Not that he planned to have sex with her. This girl's second name was Complication. It would be cruel to pluck her cherry and then be off on his merry way. She was not the type to come; and then go. “Okay. Wanna come up?” He considered saying no, but realized she might need help to get into her apartment. It seemed her brain had simply been behind on its reaction, and she was finally in the clumsy imbalance phase of drunkenness. She might get hurt, or lost, or wind up asleep on a hallway chair somewhere. “Sure,”' he said. It was three interesting flights of stairs. She only almost-fell seven times, even with his arm around her waist. She was still incessantly polite, apologizing profusely and telling him how pretty he was. Yeah, because that's what every guy secretly wants to be. Pretty. He had to take her keys and unlock the door himself. She was toppling over and had to hold onto the wall with both hands to keep from introducing her ass to the ground. It was a good thing she was wearing sensible flats rather than sexy heels, and he had to be the first guy ever to have that particular thought. “There we go,” he said when he finally got the door open. She would need to get a locksmith to take a look at the thing; the key had stuck a bit, as if the mechanism inside was rusty. Her house surprised him. He had unconsciously expected it to be decorated like something from the Victorian Era; Chintz and flowers, frilly and stuffy. Chokingly girly. It wasn't. Oh, it was undeniable a female place, but it was feminine rather than girlish. The door opened into the sitting room, which had a sage green couch with big white pillows and lampshades. The lavender curtains had been drawn against the cold air and what was probably a dreary scene outside. The art against the walls was lovely; no modern skyscrapers with red splashes to indicate blood and lust, or wriggling shapes than reminded him of female sex organs during ovulation. A small little galley kitchen on the right showed no dirty dishes in the sink, and a gleaming espresso machine on the countertop next to an equally gleaming microwave. He half-carried, half-dragged her to the only other door, guessing it to be the bedroom. It was, and here was more proof of neat, uncluttered taste. The room was tiny, with built-in cupboards and barely enough space to walk around the bed to the bathroom on the other side. “You gonna kiss me now?” she asked when he helped her onto the bed and slid a pillow under her head. “Sure, thing, honey,” he said as he switched on the bedside lamp so he could turn off the harsh overhead fixture. “In a minute, okay? You just wait right there.” He made sure she wasn't too close to the edge to roll off and brought her a glass of water from the kitchen. He found Advils in her bathroom cabinet, along with some make-up and an unopened packet of condoms. Pity stirred his heart. She was well and truly lonely, wasn't she? All cosseted in her small little apartment, hiding behind books and pretty paintings. So far he hadn't seen any sign of a cat, but maybe the building didn't allow pets. He found a heater and turned it up. She was lying suspiciously still on her side, one arm flung out to the side. He tucked it into a more comfortable position. It was the desire to get her comfortable as much as curiosity that made him wait until she was deeply asleep, or, more likely, passed out, before he pulled her coat off to reveal her body. She was small, and firm, and the only word he could think of to describe her was neat. She was utterly non-descript. She had tits, but they were just there, situated on her chest much in the way a nose is situated more or less in the middle of a face. He doubted he'd notice them if he saw her in the line at the grocery store other than for the obvious reason; they were female tits, and therefore bound to be noticed, even if they did not get a second look. They were completely average tits. He couldn't see much, as she was wearing a creamy beige sweater that had clearly been bought with an eye on heat rather than hotness, and brown slacks that sat loose around her legs and revealed nothing about what her body looked like. He shook his head as he slipped her shoes from her feet and considered doing her another favor and tossing them in the trash. They were butt-fuck-ugly. He hated sensible shoes on a woman. He pulled the quilt over her body and since he had some experience with drunk people, found a plastic bucket in her kitchen to put next to her bed. She seemed to have missed the psychedelic-yawn, porcelain-god-worshipping part of the evening, but judging by the fact that her body seemed to have its own ideas of how to react to alcohol, he wasn't taking anything for granted. She would hate herself if she woke up in the morning, only to find she'd puked all over her pretty, plush white carpet. Who bought white carpets anyway? Wasn't that like a direct invite to Karma and Murphy and all those other sadistic creatures who makes people spill coffee just after they get dressed in a new shirt, or back their car into a lamp pole the first time they take it out for a drive? He left a piece of paper with the instructions to drink the tablets and the water next to the glass and went back downstairs, only to tread back up when he couldn't find his keys in his pocket. It wasn't in the living room either, nor anywhere else in her house that he could find. He went as far as opening her underwear drawer (he really was desperate, after all,) and was not too surprised that they weren't there. He was pleasantly surprised, however, that the librarian lady had quite good taste in underwear. He didn't touch any of the pretty lace and satin snips of fabric, but he could imagine them on her easily enough, and it made for a pretty image. He finally located his keys; sitting in the ignition of his car, the doors firmly locked against him. “Son of a bitch!” he said, slamming a frustrated hand onto the snow-covered roof. “Dammit!” He took his phone from his pocket and tried to call a cab company to come get him and take him home to get his spare key, but just as he got an operator his phone made a cheerful beep just before the battery died. He considered throwing the piece of shit into the nearest heap of snow, but figured that would be counterproductive. He was stuck, and he'd be dammed if he was going to wait for the sun to rise outside on the streets, looking at a locked car. He trudged back upstairs, grateful that he hadn't been able to lock the door behind him and made himself at least semi-comfortable on Emily's couch, and closed his eyes. By any luck he would be awake and gone long before Miss Emily found the courage to leave her bed. And when he left, he would stay gone. She probably won't remember the impulsive promise he had made to help her get confidence, so she won't be upset when he doesn't show up. He already regretted the invitation; Emily the librarian was not the type of girl he needed to spend time with. She was too shy; she said so herself; and she dressed atrociously. Except for her underwear, of course. She was plain, bordering on dowdy, a self-proclaimed virgin, (whatever she had meant by technically) and she had you're-going-to-break-my-heart written all over her. She was a librarian, for goodness sake. That was a species of women best suited to the porn industry, where they wore impractical high-heeled pumps and button down shirts with sexy glasses and tight skirts. If you put Emily in an outfit like that she would; well, she would look hot, to be honest. Almost any woman would look awesome, dressed like that. He imagined it easily, right down to the stern look she was giving him for putting a book in the wrong shelf. “It belongs in the back,” she would say and motion for him to follow her so she could show him where to put it. He would wait for the right moment to pin her against the shelves and kiss the living daylights out of her while his hands explored her hot and eager curves. She would slide one leg around his waist and grind against him seductively; Brandon came to his senses with a jolt, his hand around his cock. He groaned. This was ridiculous. He was sporting a hard-on for the most wood-uninspiring girl he's ever met. She was shy and plain and, frankly, her life was a little pathetic. She had to be at least twenty-six and she'd never had sex? What was he even doing in her house, other than trying to beat one out? He swore and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable and wishing he had a blanket. This was what he got for playing the Good Samaritan. Emily could feel the light all the way down to her queasy stomach, and it burned the whole way down. “Oh,” she moaned and wondered, briefly, if a freight train or a passenger one had hit her. The question seemed important, somehow. Her head felt like the maze of a Pac-Man game. Something was running around inside there and eating bits of grey-matter. She tried to squint through the smallest of slits she could make with eyelids; straight into the light of her bedside lamp. She could hear her corneas go up in flames. She whimpered and turned her face into her pillow to hide from it. She regretted waking up with every fiber of her being. The longer she was awake, the more issues were brought under her attention by her irate body. Her mouth tasted like something she would gag at if she were to smell it on her way to wok. Her body was sore, and she was nauseous. The most pressing problem, however, was her bladder, which was screaming for attention. She eased her legs over the side of her bed carefully, surprised to find herself in her wrinkled angora sweater and slacks of the previous day. At least she'd had the sense to kick off her shoes the previous evening before she got in bed. Her eyes fell on the bright red bucket sitting next to her bed. It was the one she used when she washed floors or windows, and it belonged in her kitchen on top of the cupboard that holds other cleaning supplies. What was it doing next to her bed? The next second she grabbed for it as her stomach revolted against the switch from horizontal to vertical. She was sick; violently and tear-inducingly sick. When it was over she sat there, sweating and just trying to get her breath. Another wave hit her and she was infinitely grateful for the bucket, though she still had no idea how it got there. Finally it seemed to be over for real. She made her way cautiously to her bathroom and emptied the bucket in the toilet with a grimace. She would clean it later. No, she would throw it out. Nobody needed a reminder like that sitting in their kitchen. She flushed the toilet before she unbuckled her slacks and sat down, relief spreading over her body like a flush. Eventually she realized she couldn't hide on her toilet forever and she got up. She just looked at herself in the mirror. Was that her? That rumpled, bleary-eyed stranger who's make-up had smeared and whose hair; well, to be honest, the ruthless bun she'd tied her hair in had held pretty well. It still looked reasonably neat, in comparison to the rest of her. But her skin was white, her eyes red. There were pillow-creases on her check and she smelled like; No. There was no words to describe the odors wafting around her. But it was foul and she might need to burn her clothes. She pulled it off, stepped into the shower and closed the curtain. The next second she screamed when the icy water hit her skin and she realized too late that she should have waited a minute for the hot water to reach the pipes. It cleared her head instantly, however, and she forced herself to stand there while it warmed. That's when she heard her bathroom door swing open, and an unfamiliar voice say, “What the hell?” Oh, dear heavens! There was a man in her apartment. Brandon could see vague movements behind the translucent curtain; he truly hated those things; but nothing else. He'd woken up to the cheerful sounds of somebody throwing up and considered leaving before she emerged. But he would still be stranded until he could get home for his spare key, and he knew the lady would probably have a few questions regarding the previous evening. It seemed cruel now to leave her to her own speculations. And then she'd screamed and although he knew there was probably no crazy axe-murderer in her bathroom, he did feel some concern. Or, at the very least, the desire to be spectator to her humiliation. The uncharacteristic bout of pettiness was undoubtedly brought upon by the crick in his neck after spending the night on a couch that was too short for his frame. Why didn't women invest in man-sized leather couches or lazy-boys with cup-holders? “Who‘s there?” she asked, and he could hear the shiver in her voice. Was it fear or cold? “Me,” he said, wanting to punish her; just a little; for the worst night of his life. Not that it was entirely her fault. He had decided to help her home all on his own, after all. But the punishment her couch had meted out had neutralized his part in this little clusterfuck. That, and the raging case of blue balls he was suffering from even now. Though, to be fair, there was no way in which he could hold her responsible for that. “I,” she said. “What?” Brandon asked, confused. “You mean I. Not me. Grammatically speaking…” “You're giving me a grammar lesson?” he asked, astounded. “You're naked in the shower and there's a stranger outside who could, for all intent and purposes, have a chainsaw or an electric appliance, and you're pointing out grammatical errors?” There was a moment of silence, during which he could only hear the sound of running water. “Do you have a chainsaw or an electric appliance?” she asked after a few seconds. Steam was rising and she sighed in pleasure. The sound shot straight downstairs. He winced. “No,” he admitted. “Well, then,” she said as if that explained everything. “I assume we met last night?” “Sort of.” “Did we…” There was trepidation in her voice now. “Did we have sex?” He grinned. There was no way he was passing up this opportunity. “Baby, you rocked my world,” he said. “Twice. Where'd you learn to do that thing with your tongue?” “What thing?” “That thing where you; Oh never mind, I'll show you later. Mind if I join you?” He jiggled his belt, making it sound as if he was pulling off his pants. “No!” she said quickly. “I'm naked!” “That's the idea,' he said. “Naked and wet. Just the way I like you best. Just like last night. Man! You were wet.” He thought he heard her whimper something about deities unknown. “Want me to go make coffee instead?” he asked, taking pity on her. “Yes,” she seized the opportunity. “Please. Coffee. Why don't you take yours to go?” She was kicking him out? After everything he'd done for her the previous evening? “Now that's no way to talk to your new husband,” he said reprovingly. He could hear her shock in the very silence. “My what?” “Don't you remember?” Oh, he was enjoying this. “My what?” “After we met up at the bar, we went to a judge I know and got a special license. He married us. He's a good guy, Judge Henderson. Owed me a favor after I got rid of a little problem for him a year ago.” “Please leave,” she begged, close to tears, if her voice was anything to go by. “Now, honeybun, I told you last night the garbage disposal company I work for doesn't work over weekends. Where would I go?” She moaned, a pitiful sound that made him feel slightly guilty. There was a movement behind the curtain and then her head poked out. She was holding the curtain prudishly high to hide the rest of her. “Please tell me you're joking,” she pleaded. He let his silence speak for itself, while he took her in. Her eyes were bloodshot, but that didn't do much to distract from their beauty. Had he ever seen such big blue eyes outside the porcelain-doll industry? Why hadn't he noticed that before? He was standing close enough that he could see the water clinging against her long lashes. Her nose was fine with the cutest tilt, and her skin, though still slightly sallow from the previous evening, was perfect and unblemished. He was stunned. She was beautiful. How the hell had he missed that? “This can't be happening,” she said. His thoughts exactly. He could not be noticing her beauty now. It was just his libido talking. He'd spent a restless evening tossing around coldly on her couch, getting images of her all mixed up with his librarian fantasies. That's what this was. His cock was desperate to convince him he was attracted to her so he would make his move. And she would fall for it, no doubt about that. She was inexperienced and, by her own admission, desperate. If he turned on the charm, he would have her under him before the end of the day. But he wasn't that kind of a guy. The guy who sleep with girls and leave them when they bore him. And bore him she inevitably would. She was too quiet, too shy, too damn librarian-ish to hold his attention for longer than it took him to come. He preferred women with fiery personalities and lots of experience in pleasuring her lover in bed. Emily would probably faint dead the first time she saw him naked. And try to be prim and proper, and not want him to go down on her. Sex with her would have to be after dark, a quick, awkward coupling under the covers. She wouldn't want to do any of the things he liked; no blowjobs, no cunnilingus. Definitely no role-play. It would be utterly unfulfilling. So why wouldn't his cock stop trying to make happy-happy with her? “Don't worry,' he said, finally annoyed by himself and his thoughts and feelings. “It's not. I'll go make coffee. I'll even leave if you want me to.” She looked at him, blinking those big eyes of hers. “No,” she said. “Stay. I'll be there in a few minutes.” She brushed her teeth and even her tongue for what felt like hours to no avail. The taste of her humiliation sat as if the enamel on her teeth had absorbed it. She felt as if she was chewing on moss as far as she went. She twisted the towel around her head and drank the Advils next to her bed. Bits and pieces of the previous evening was filtering down to her. She had been at the library and Mrs. Gunnings; bless her heart; had been talking about how Emily needed to find a nice young man to take care of her. Of how nice it was to go home and not spend the evening alone. Of how nice it was to go out and hold somebody's hand in public. Of the lovely man who'd swept her daughter right of her feet and now they were married with a little baby and how happy they were; she'd talked and talked until Emily was so depressed with her own lonely little life that she decided to stop for a drink, rather than face her empty apartment. As she sat there, she kept thinking of ways to meet somebody; clearly, her job was no help; and the thought had somehow taken root that people met other people in bars. When they were drunk. So she'd ordered one drink after another, hoping she would magically become sexy and; and pretty and desirable. And somebody would magically notice her and fall magically in love with her and they would magically live happily ever after. To be continued, by horn pixy.

Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy  by horn pixy. Listen to the ► Podcast at Connected. Brandon has been harboring a secret librarian fantasy for many years, but Emily was hardly his idea of a hot librarian. She was the type of women who came a side-serving of Complication. So why couldn't he stay away from her? It was almost time for last call. Brandon wiped the sodden rag over the counter and put the empty glass the girl had just put down into the crate under the bar with the other dirty glasses. [[MORE]] “One more?” he asked. She nodded and took her wallet from her purse. He handed her the scotch on the rocks; her sixth or seventh one for the evening; and wondered how she managed to keep her balance on the high barstool. Her eyes had that glazed look of somebody who had definitely had a few too many, but if he had not been the one to pour her drinks; all six or seven of them; he would not have guessed she was drunk. There was no characteristic slumping or wobbling or even raucous laughter. In fact, her ramrod straight posture and uncanny balance reminded him of a ballet teacher, especially with her hair scraped back into a bun like that. She was pretty enough, in a neat, mousy little way. It was impossible to hazard a guess at the figure under the bulky, shapeless coat she was wearing over goodness knew what. She was wearing glasses with a nice frame that actually suited her face in a non-descript kind of way. Brandon had never seen such a dignified drunk in his life. She had better manners drunk than most people had when they were stone cold sober and sitting their grandmother's sitting rooms. “Thank you,” she said politely when she accepted her change and slipped half of it into the tip-jar, as she had been doing all evening. He kept an eye on her as he started straightening bottles on the shelf behind him, wondering about her story. Brandon loved his job. He owned several bars and still spent an evening now and then behind the counter. After serving drinks for three years across the globe when he was fresh out of high school, he enjoyed the occasional trip down memory lane. It fascinated him to see how alike people were, no matter where they lived. Broken hearts healed just as slowly in Hawaii as they did in Australia, and flirting was a universal art that did not differ too much from one place to another. He loved watching the games, the intrigues, the emotions, as people relaxed around him. He'd seen it all; the break-ups and the make-ups, the hopeful souls scouring the bar for the love of their lives; or at least the lay of the night. He'd seen people drink to forget, or to try to keep memories alive. He'd seen them drink because there was nothing else to do, or because they couldn't do anything else. He'd seen the lonely girls go home with the wrong men and knew they'd wake up the next morning with alcohol on their breath and regret in their hearts. He'd seen women play fast and loose, and the men who managed to escape their clutches. He'd seen the best and the worst of people, but he thought he'd never quite seen anything like the girl sitting there in a dull brown coat, finishing one drink after another without toppling over or falling into somebody's lap on her way to the bathroom. She was fresh and new, and it intrigued him. The bar was rather empty in comparison to most Friday nights. But to be fair, it was the middle of the month and there was a blizzard raging on outside. He was closing up earlier than usual to give the staff and the customers the chance to get home before it got worse. The neat lady; there was other way to describe her; was one of the diehards, but since she was hardly causing a scene, he didn't ask her to leave just yet while they were cleaning up. Finally they were done, and he had to ask her to leave. She blinked owlishly at him from behind her glasses. “Excuse me?” she asked, as if she had not heard him the first time. He leaned closer and thought he caught a whiff of something clean and fresh under the ripe smell of alcohol and closed-up people that hung over the room. “It's closing time,” he repeated. “We're going to lock up.” “Oh,” she said, frowning slightly as her impaired brain tried to sort out his words. “Right,” she said finally. “Well, I'll just go then, won't I?” “Can I call you a cab?” he asked, because she still had not moved from her seat. He waved a hand at the two waiters and the other barman, indicating that he would lock up and they could go home. She looked at him, her eyes still slightly unfocused. “To take you home,” he explained. “You shouldn't drive.” “Did I come with a car?” she asked, bewildered. “I hope not. I don't own a car. Did I steal one?” He grinned. This was fun. Normally drunk people just annoyed him a bit, but this girl struck a chord somewhere in his chest he'd never known to exist. “Not that I know of,” he said. “How did you get here?” “I must have walked,” she said, puzzled. “From work. Fancy that.” “What work do you do?” he asked as Rod, one of the waiters, closed the door behind the other staff members. “I'm a libal; librali; a li bra rian,” she said, looking quite pleased with herself for managing the word. Fancy that indeed, he thought, his mind going into immediate overdrive at the mention of her career. Like many, many men, he harbored a secret Librarian Fantasy. Even the way she broke it up into syllables didn't diminish the thoughts running though his head. The job suited her perfectly, he thought. She was cut out for the silence and air of wisdom and propriety that hung around the books like dusty clouds. He imagined being scolded by her for being too loud and grinned. “Where do you live?” he wanted to know. He would help her home, call her a cab, and forget about her. She was not the type of librarian he fantasized about; she had glasses, but they were the wrong kind, and even though her hair was scraped back out of her face, there was nothing sexy about it. She wasn't wearing nearly enough make-up and not at all the right kind of clothes, either. She was just a girl, hiding behind stacks of books. Her fingers were unadorned, and he guessed her to be single. She probably had four or five cats and a vibrator named Bob hidden in her nightstand that she rarely used because it made her feel guilty. “Up the street, I think,” she said, pointing vaguely with her fingers. “That way. You have pretty eyes.” He lifted an amused brow. ‘That way' would take him to the kitchen and eventually, an alleyway behind the building. “How about an address?” he asked. “To give to the cab-driver.” He grabbed a paper napkin and a pen. She wrote slowly, carefully, her handwriting still managing to be neater than his illegible scrawl. “You don't live far from me,” he said, lying smoothly. “Just one block south, to be precise. Would you like a lift home?” “Never get in the car with strangers,” she said firmly. “A cab driver is also a stranger,” he pointed out. “Not the same thing.” “Nope. But on second thought, I'm not sure you'll find a cab in this weather.” “That's right,” she said, smiling broadly for the first time. The expression transformed her face from plain to pretty. Her innocence amused and tickled him. “It's snowing. Like a White Christmas.” He couldn't help it. He grinned; it was January. She wasn't just drunk, she was completely sloshed. But still amazingly stable and logical. “Let's get you home,” he said, coming around the bar to help her from the stool. This was not something he ever did. He owned the bars; how the patrons got home was their problem, not his. But he couldn't just leave this girl to her own devices, not unless he wanted the next time he heard about her to be her name in an obituary. She'd probably fall asleep in the cold right outside his bar and die. It would cause all sorts of unwanted paperwork and police questions. She didn't even need his help standing up. The liquor, it seemed, had not affected her balance one bit. Still, he kept a hand on her back to steer her. He locked up behind them while she stood looking at him through her wide, trusting eyes. “You're really tall,” she said. “I wish I was taller.” “You're the perfect height,” he said. “See? My arm fits right round your shoulders. You're like a portable armrest.” She didn't giggle at that, and he wondered of she'd heard him. It was a pretty lame joke, but in his experience, drunk people will laugh at anything. “I wish I was hot,” she said. “Like you. But not like you. Like a girl. Then maybe I could have sex.” He coughed, choking on his breath, the way some people trip over their own feet. “What?” he asked when he finally had the air back in the right pipes. “I wish I was prettier,” she said matter-of-factly. “I'm not being pessimistic, really. I just; well, no use crying for the moon, is there?” “You are pretty,” he said automatically. She sighed. “I'm not. But thank you for pretending, anyway. Oh, my goodness, it's cold.” He had just opened the back door and yes, it was cold indeed. The wind was blowing sheets of snow into their faces and heaping it against the side of the building. He steered her with one hand in the direction of his car, which was parked under the staff-members-only roof. He cranked up the heater and took the drive slowly and carefully. The cold was making her drowsy, and he could see her head drooping slightly. No doubt the drinks were finally taking effect. “I take it you don't drink often?” he said. “Nope,” she said, pulling the edges of her rather ugly coat closer around her. “I've never been drunk before.” Until tonight, he thought, but he waited for her to continue on her own. After a few seconds, she did. “I'm sort of a virgin,” she said.” By choice. But it's not my choice.” She gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Technically I'm no longer one. But I've never been with a man, you know?” Well, he certainly knew now. But his years as a barman had taught him when to listen and when to talk. So he kept quiet. “Well, anyway, I always thought it was because I'm too shy. Men don't like that, right?” “Some do,” he said, because what else could he say? “Liar,” she said fondly. “Nobody wants to be with somebody who's ashamed of themselves. I know I wouldn't like that in a man, so I can hardly expect any man to show interest in me. That's why I went out tonight,” she added after a few seconds. “Too see if drinking helps me get loose. Turns out I'm even boring when I'm drunk.” “You're not boring,” he said firmly. “You just need to learn how to fake it. Everybody is secretly self-conscious. Some just hide it better that others. You need to find a way to pretend. If you can convince yourself, you know other people will believe it.” “I don't think I'd know how,” she said. “I'm no good at acting or pretending or lying. I can't even lie to telephone sales people. “ “I'll help you,” he said impulsively. “I'll show you how to fake it.” “Really?” “Sure. When you're sober. Anything I teach you now will be wasted.” “Like me,” she sighed. “I'm wasted, and all I want to do is go to bed. That's my building up there.' “That's a gas station,” he said with a grin. “Oh.” She frowned. “Then it's not my building, is it?” “I sincerely hope not.” They found her building eventually, tucked away between a tall, scary-looking block of flats and a three-story bridal boutique. He helped her out of the car and up the steps. It took her three times to key the right series of numbers into the keypad so the door would open. Finally, she recited them to him to read it in. “Thank you,” she said awkwardly. “For the lift, and the ear.” He grinned. “No problem,” he said. “Hey, what's your name?” “Emily,” she said. Emily. It suited her perfectly, as if her parents had had a glimpse of her in the future when they named her. She looked like an Emily more than anybody else he'd ever met. “I'm Brandon,” he said. “Can I pick you up tomorrow around noon for your first lesson?” “Lesson?” “In faking it.” It occurred to him then that ‘faking it' might refer to something else as well, but he always made damn sure a girl does not need to fake it when she's with him. Not that he planned to have sex with her. This girl's second name was Complication. It would be cruel to pluck her cherry and then be off on his merry way. She was not the type to come; and then go. “Okay. Wanna come up?” He considered saying no, but realized she might need help to get into her apartment. It seemed her brain had simply been behind on its reaction, and she was finally in the clumsy imbalance phase of drunkenness. She might get hurt, or lost, or wind up asleep on a hallway chair somewhere. “Sure,”' he said. It was three interesting flights of stairs. She only almost-fell seven times, even with his arm around her waist. She was still incessantly polite, apologizing profusely and telling him how pretty he was. Yeah, because that's what every guy secretly wants to be. Pretty. He had to take her keys and unlock the door himself. She was toppling over and had to hold onto the wall with both hands to keep from introducing her ass to the ground. It was a good thing she was wearing sensible flats rather than sexy heels, and he had to be the first guy ever to have that particular thought. “There we go,” he said when he finally got the door open. She would need to get a locksmith to take a look at the thing; the key had stuck a bit, as if the mechanism inside was rusty. Her house surprised him. He had unconsciously expected it to be decorated like something from the Victorian Era; Chintz and flowers, frilly and stuffy. Chokingly girly. It wasn't. Oh, it was undeniable a female place, but it was feminine rather than girlish. The door opened into the sitting room, which had a sage green couch with big white pillows and lampshades. The lavender curtains had been drawn against the cold air and what was probably a dreary scene outside. The art against the walls was lovely; no modern skyscrapers with red splashes to indicate blood and lust, or wriggling shapes than reminded him of female sex organs during ovulation. A small little galley kitchen on the right showed no dirty dishes in the sink, and a gleaming espresso machine on the countertop next to an equally gleaming microwave. He half-carried, half-dragged her to the only other door, guessing it to be the bedroom. It was, and here was more proof of neat, uncluttered taste. The room was tiny, with built-in cupboards and barely enough space to walk around the bed to the bathroom on the other side. “You gonna kiss me now?” she asked when he helped her onto the bed and slid a pillow under her head. “Sure, thing, honey,” he said as he switched on the bedside lamp so he could turn off the harsh overhead fixture. “In a minute, okay? You just wait right there.” He made sure she wasn't too close to the edge to roll off and brought her a glass of water from the kitchen. He found Advils in her bathroom cabinet, along with some make-up and an unopened packet of condoms. Pity stirred his heart. She was well and truly lonely, wasn't she? All cosseted in her small little apartment, hiding behind books and pretty paintings. So far he hadn't seen any sign of a cat, but maybe the building didn't allow pets. He found a heater and turned it up. She was lying suspiciously still on her side, one arm flung out to the side. He tucked it into a more comfortable position. It was the desire to get her comfortable as much as curiosity that made him wait until she was deeply asleep, or, more likely, passed out, before he pulled her coat off to reveal her body. She was small, and firm, and the only word he could think of to describe her was neat. She was utterly non-descript. She had tits, but they were just there, situated on her chest much in the way a nose is situated more or less in the middle of a face. He doubted he'd notice them if he saw her in the line at the grocery store other than for the obvious reason; they were female tits, and therefore bound to be noticed, even if they did not get a second look. They were completely average tits. He couldn't see much, as she was wearing a creamy beige sweater that had clearly been bought with an eye on heat rather than hotness, and brown slacks that sat loose around her legs and revealed nothing about what her body looked like. He shook his head as he slipped her shoes from her feet and considered doing her another favor and tossing them in the trash. They were butt-fuck-ugly. He hated sensible shoes on a woman. He pulled the quilt over her body and since he had some experience with drunk people, found a plastic bucket in her kitchen to put next to her bed. She seemed to have missed the psychedelic-yawn, porcelain-god-worshipping part of the evening, but judging by the fact that her body seemed to have its own ideas of how to react to alcohol, he wasn't taking anything for granted. She would hate herself if she woke up in the morning, only to find she'd puked all over her pretty, plush white carpet. Who bought white carpets anyway? Wasn't that like a direct invite to Karma and Murphy and all those other sadistic creatures who makes people spill coffee just after they get dressed in a new shirt, or back their car into a lamp pole the first time they take it out for a drive? He left a piece of paper with the instructions to drink the tablets and the water next to the glass and went back downstairs, only to tread back up when he couldn't find his keys in his pocket. It wasn't in the living room either, nor anywhere else in her house that he could find. He went as far as opening her underwear drawer (he really was desperate, after all,) and was not too surprised that they weren't there. He was pleasantly surprised, however, that the librarian lady had quite good taste in underwear. He didn't touch any of the pretty lace and satin snips of fabric, but he could imagine them on her easily enough, and it made for a pretty image. He finally located his keys; sitting in the ignition of his car, the doors firmly locked against him. “Son of a bitch!” he said, slamming a frustrated hand onto the snow-covered roof. “Dammit!” He took his phone from his pocket and tried to call a cab company to come get him and take him home to get his spare key, but just as he got an operator his phone made a cheerful beep just before the battery died. He considered throwing the piece of shit into the nearest heap of snow, but figured that would be counterproductive. He was stuck, and he'd be dammed if he was going to wait for the sun to rise outside on the streets, looking at a locked car. He trudged back upstairs, grateful that he hadn't been able to lock the door behind him and made himself at least semi-comfortable on Emily's couch, and closed his eyes. By any luck he would be awake and gone long before Miss Emily found the courage to leave her bed. And when he left, he would stay gone. She probably won't remember the impulsive promise he had made to help her get confidence, so she won't be upset when he doesn't show up. He already regretted the invitation; Emily the librarian was not the type of girl he needed to spend time with. She was too shy; she said so herself; and she dressed atrociously. Except for her underwear, of course. She was plain, bordering on dowdy, a self-proclaimed virgin, (whatever she had meant by technically) and she had you're-going-to-break-my-heart written all over her. She was a librarian, for goodness sake. That was a species of women best suited to the porn industry, where they wore impractical high-heeled pumps and button down shirts with sexy glasses and tight skirts. If you put Emily in an outfit like that she would; well, she would look hot, to be honest. Almost any woman would look awesome, dressed like that. He imagined it easily, right down to the stern look she was giving him for putting a book in the wrong shelf. “It belongs in the back,” she would say and motion for him to follow her so she could show him where to put it. He would wait for the right moment to pin her against the shelves and kiss the living daylights out of her while his hands explored her hot and eager curves. She would slide one leg around his waist and grind against him seductively; Brandon came to his senses with a jolt, his hand around his cock. He groaned. This was ridiculous. He was sporting a hard-on for the most wood-uninspiring girl he's ever met. She was shy and plain and, frankly, her life was a little pathetic. She had to be at least twenty-six and she'd never had sex? What was he even doing in her house, other than trying to beat one out? He swore and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable and wishing he had a blanket. This was what he got for playing the Good Samaritan. Emily could feel the light all the way down to her queasy stomach, and it burned the whole way down. “Oh,” she moaned and wondered, briefly, if a freight train or a passenger one had hit her. The question seemed important, somehow. Her head felt like the maze of a Pac-Man game. Something was running around inside there and eating bits of grey-matter. She tried to squint through the smallest of slits she could make with eyelids; straight into the light of her bedside lamp. She could hear her corneas go up in flames. She whimpered and turned her face into her pillow to hide from it. She regretted waking up with every fiber of her being. The longer she was awake, the more issues were brought under her attention by her irate body. Her mouth tasted like something she would gag at if she were to smell it on her way to wok. Her body was sore, and she was nauseous. The most pressing problem, however, was her bladder, which was screaming for attention. She eased her legs over the side of her bed carefully, surprised to find herself in her wrinkled angora sweater and slacks of the previous day. At least she'd had the sense to kick off her shoes the previous evening before she got in bed. Her eyes fell on the bright red bucket sitting next to her bed. It was the one she used when she washed floors or windows, and it belonged in her kitchen on top of the cupboard that holds other cleaning supplies. What was it doing next to her bed? The next second she grabbed for it as her stomach revolted against the switch from horizontal to vertical. She was sick; violently and tear-inducingly sick. When it was over she sat there, sweating and just trying to get her breath. Another wave hit her and she was infinitely grateful for the bucket, though she still had no idea how it got there. Finally it seemed to be over for real. She made her way cautiously to her bathroom and emptied the bucket in the toilet with a grimace. She would clean it later. No, she would throw it out. Nobody needed a reminder like that sitting in their kitchen. She flushed the toilet before she unbuckled her slacks and sat down, relief spreading over her body like a flush. Eventually she realized she couldn't hide on her toilet forever and she got up. She just looked at herself in the mirror. Was that her? That rumpled, bleary-eyed stranger who's make-up had smeared and whose hair; well, to be honest, the ruthless bun she'd tied her hair in had held pretty well. It still looked reasonably neat, in comparison to the rest of her. But her skin was white, her eyes red. There were pillow-creases on her check and she smelled like; No. There was no words to describe the odors wafting around her. But it was foul and she might need to burn her clothes. She pulled it off, stepped into the shower and closed the curtain. The next second she screamed when the icy water hit her skin and she realized too late that she should have waited a minute for the hot water to reach the pipes. It cleared her head instantly, however, and she forced herself to stand there while it warmed. That's when she heard her bathroom door swing open, and an unfamiliar voice say, “What the hell?” Oh, dear heavens! There was a man in her apartment. Brandon could see vague movements behind the translucent curtain; he truly hated those things; but nothing else. He'd woken up to the cheerful sounds of somebody throwing up and considered leaving before she emerged. But he would still be stranded until he could get home for his spare key, and he knew the lady would probably have a few questions regarding the previous evening. It seemed cruel now to leave her to her own speculations. And then she'd screamed and although he knew there was probably no crazy axe-murderer in her bathroom, he did feel some concern. Or, at the very least, the desire to be spectator to her humiliation. The uncharacteristic bout of pettiness was undoubtedly brought upon by the crick in his neck after spending the night on a couch that was too short for his frame. Why didn't women invest in man-sized leather couches or lazy-boys with cup-holders? “Who‘s there?” she asked, and he could hear the shiver in her voice. Was it fear or cold? “Me,” he said, wanting to punish her; just a little; for the worst night of his life. Not that it was entirely her fault. He had decided to help her home all on his own, after all. But the punishment her couch had meted out had neutralized his part in this little clusterfuck. That, and the raging case of blue balls he was suffering from even now. Though, to be fair, there was no way in which he could hold her responsible for that. “I,” she said. “What?” Brandon asked, confused. “You mean I. Not me. Grammatically speaking…” “You're giving me a grammar lesson?” he asked, astounded. “You're naked in the shower and there's a stranger outside who could, for all intent and purposes, have a chainsaw or an electric appliance, and you're pointing out grammatical errors?” There was a moment of silence, during which he could only hear the sound of running water. “Do you have a chainsaw or an electric appliance?” she asked after a few seconds. Steam was rising and she sighed in pleasure. The sound shot straight downstairs. He winced. “No,” he admitted. “Well, then,” she said as if that explained everything. “I assume we met last night?” “Sort of.” “Did we…” There was trepidation in her voice now. “Did we have sex?” He grinned. There was no way he was passing up this opportunity. “Baby, you rocked my world,” he said. “Twice. Where'd you learn to do that thing with your tongue?” “What thing?” “That thing where you; Oh never mind, I'll show you later. Mind if I join you?” He jiggled his belt, making it sound as if he was pulling off his pants. “No!” she said quickly. “I'm naked!” “That's the idea,' he said. “Naked and wet. Just the way I like you best. Just like last night. Man! You were wet.” He thought he heard her whimper something about deities unknown. “Want me to go make coffee instead?” he asked, taking pity on her. “Yes,” she seized the opportunity. “Please. Coffee. Why don't you take yours to go?” She was kicking him out? After everything he'd done for her the previous evening? “Now that's no way to talk to your new husband,” he said reprovingly. He could hear her shock in the very silence. “My what?” “Don't you remember?” Oh, he was enjoying this. “My what?” “After we met up at the bar, we went to a judge I know and got a special license. He married us. He's a good guy, Judge Henderson. Owed me a favor after I got rid of a little problem for him a year ago.” “Please leave,” she begged, close to tears, if her voice was anything to go by. “Now, honeybun, I told you last night the garbage disposal company I work for doesn't work over weekends. Where would I go?” She moaned, a pitiful sound that made him feel slightly guilty. There was a movement behind the curtain and then her head poked out. She was holding the curtain prudishly high to hide the rest of her. “Please tell me you're joking,” she pleaded. He let his silence speak for itself, while he took her in. Her eyes were bloodshot, but that didn't do much to distract from their beauty. Had he ever seen such big blue eyes outside the porcelain-doll industry? Why hadn't he noticed that before? He was standing close enough that he could see the water clinging against her long lashes. Her nose was fine with the cutest tilt, and her skin, though still slightly sallow from the previous evening, was perfect and unblemished. He was stunned. She was beautiful. How the hell had he missed that? “This can't be happening,” she said. His thoughts exactly. He could not be noticing her beauty now. It was just his libido talking. He'd spent a restless evening tossing around coldly on her couch, getting images of her all mixed up with his librarian fantasies. That's what this was. His cock was desperate to convince him he was attracted to her so he would make his move. And she would fall for it, no doubt about that. She was inexperienced and, by her own admission, desperate. If he turned on the charm, he would have her under him before the end of the day. But he wasn't that kind of a guy. The guy who sleep with girls and leave them when they bore him. And bore him she inevitably would. She was too quiet, too shy, too damn librarian-ish to hold his attention for longer than it took him to come. He preferred women with fiery personalities and lots of experience in pleasuring her lover in bed. Emily would probably faint dead the first time she saw him naked. And try to be prim and proper, and not want him to go down on her. Sex with her would have to be after dark, a quick, awkward coupling under the covers. She wouldn't want to do any of the things he liked; no blowjobs, no cunnilingus. Definitely no role-play. It would be utterly unfulfilling. So why wouldn't his cock stop trying to make happy-happy with her? “Don't worry,' he said, finally annoyed by himself and his thoughts and feelings. “It's not. I'll go make coffee. I'll even leave if you want me to.” She looked at him, blinking those big eyes of hers. “No,” she said. “Stay. I'll be there in a few minutes.” She brushed her teeth and even her tongue for what felt like hours to no avail. The taste of her humiliation sat as if the enamel on her teeth had absorbed it. She felt as if she was chewing on moss as far as she went. She twisted the towel around her head and drank the Advils next to her bed. Bits and pieces of the previous evening was filtering down to her. She had been at the library and Mrs. Gunnings; bless her heart; had been talking about how Emily needed to find a nice young man to take care of her. Of how nice it was to go home and not spend the evening alone. Of how nice it was to go out and hold somebody's hand in public. Of the lovely man who'd swept her daughter right of her feet and now they were married with a little baby and how happy they were; she'd talked and talked until Emily was so depressed with her own lonely little life that she decided to stop for a drink, rather than face her empty apartment. As she sat there, she kept thinking of ways to meet somebody; clearly, her job was no help; and the thought had somehow taken root that people met other people in bars. When they were drunk. So she'd ordered one drink after another, hoping she would magically become sexy and; and pretty and desirable. And somebody would magically notice her and fall magically in love with her and they would magically live happily ever after. To be continued, by horn pixy.

Wednesday, 1 May 2024   But not long after, a tempestuous head wind arose, called Euroclydon. Acts 27:14   More literally, the words read, “And not long after, a typhonic wind cast against it, called Euroclydon” (CG).   In the last verse, it said, “And Auster, having wafted, having thought to have obtained the purpose, having hoisted they laid beside near Crete.” With that, complicated words are penned by Luke, beginning with, “And not long after.”   There was a fair wind from the south wafting along bringing the men satisfaction that the decision to leave Fair Havens was a good one. They were sailing along the coast of Crete and moving in the right direction. However, it next says, “a typhonic wind cast against it.”   The Greek word, found only here in the Bible, is tuphónikos, a typhonic wind. It is etymologically connected to our modern word typhoon, but being an adjective, it doesn't name but rather describes the wind. The word comes from the noun tuphón, a hurricane or typhoon. Typhoon is the designation used today for those hurricanes that arise in the western Pacific.   These words are derived from the same root as tuphó, smoky, found in Matthew 12:20. One can think of the ocean spray being stirred up and giving it an appearance that is clouded or smoky.   This raging wind is described as having been cast against it. The question is, “Cast against what?” Ellicott notes -   “The Greek pronoun is in the feminine, and as the noun used for ship is, throughout the narrative, in the neuter, the difference of gender presents a difficulty. Grammatically the pronoun seems to refer to Crete, and if referred to it, the sentence admits of three possible constructions: (1) the wind drove us against Crete; or (2), blew against Crete; or (3), drove down on us from Crete.”   The first two go against what is later recorded, and so it is most likely speaking of the winds driving against Crete and blowing them off the shore, Crete being a feminine noun and the nearest antecedent. The wind that arose was so strong that it cast against Crete causing a swirling, typhonic action that literally blew the ship away from the coast they had been clinging to as they drove the ship towards Phoenix.   Understanding this, the verse finishes with the name of this type of wind. Luke said it is “called Euroclydon.”   This last word is variously rendered in manuscripts. Some say Euroclydon while others say Euroquilo. From there, translators use one designation or another, or they simply translate it as a Northeaster and avoid the trouble.   Which word is correct is argued. It appears nowhere else in the Bible. If Euroclydon is correct, then it may come from euros, wind, and kludon, wave. As such, it signifies a storm where winds just whip around forming battering waves, like a hurricane.   If Euraquilo is right, it might mean “...between Eurus, ‘the E. S. E. wind,' and Aquilo, ‘the north-wind, or, strictly, N. 1/3 E. Hence, E. N. E.'” (Vincent's Word Studies).   No matter what, the storm was a raging one and it bore down on the ship so tempestuously that it drove it away from Crete and into the open sea.   Life application: Studying the etymology of words is fun and increases one's knowledge of how languages develop and express themselves. Be sure to take time to look into this aspect of God's revealed word!   Lord God, thank You for the pages of Scripture that reveal so much to us about the life and events of those who have gone before us, expending their time and energy with the intent of spreading the message of Jesus and the good news of His gospel. May we follow suit and be willing to set out with the aim and intent of telling others about it as well. Praises to You, O God, for this wonderful chance to be a part of the redemptive narrative as it continues to unfold! Amen.  

‘“The Eternal spoke to Moses saying: Tell the Israelites that they should bring me an offering, from every person whose heart is willing, bring for me a gift” (Exodus 25:1-2). Grammatically, we must ask why it says a “gift,” which connotes raising up?'This question brought me back to my 1st year biblical hebrew class, and the word used for an offering or gift, terumah. In that hebrew word are the root letters, resh and mem. These two letters can form words that mean to lift up, raise up, or make higher, and so on. The idea that when we give a gift, that we are elevated to a higher place. That we become closer to God, or to holiness itself. Each week, a member of the clergy offers their personal perspective on a topic of their choice, such as the week's Torah portion, a Jewish holiday, ritual, custom, or history.

We are continuing with Pesukei Bitachon and are now back in the list of the Maharal, going in alphabetical order. Tehilim 91,2: אֹמַ֗ר לַ֭יהֹוָה מַחְסִ֣י וּמְצוּדָתִ֑י אֱ֝לֹהַ֗י אֶבְטַח־בּֽוֹ I say to Hashem, You are my Machsi/refuge, Umsudati/and my fortress. God, I will rely on you. What are these terms of machsi / refuge and mesudat / fortress ? The Shelah HaKadosh in Parashat Shekalim explains that the term machseh/refuge is refers to the events and the challenges of the times, just like someone in a house is protected from snow and rain, hot and cold. That's what Hashem is Machsi means - I'm protected from the flu and all the other things that are going around. I'm in a house. A mesudah/ a fortress refers to wars and the like. So Hashem is both Machsi U'msudati . As we know, or should know, there are chapters in Tehilim that were not originally written by David Hamelech, for example, Tefila L'Moshe perek 90, and perek 91, which were written by Moshe Rabbenu. When did Moshe Rabbenu say this chapter, Yoshev B'Seter Elyon? The Midrash Tanhuma on Naso , chapter 23 says that when he went up to Har Sinai, Moshe Rabbenu was afraid of the Mazikim / the different types of demons and negative forces. Therefore, Moshe Rabbeu said, I'm going to be in the protection of Hashem - using the word צל Tzel / shade - I'm going to be in God's shade. צ is 90 and ל is 30, adding up to the 120 days Moshe Rabbenu spent on the mountain, (three sets of 40), where he was protected by God's shade. And he said, Machsi UmSudati/You'll be my wall, my protection. And Hashem said, “ You're relying on Me, I'll take care of you.” So that's what protected Moshe Rabbenu on the mountain- this Bitachon in Yoshev B'Seter Elyon, where he says to Hashem, Machsi Umsudati. The sefer Minhat Kohen on Parashat Teruma has a nice way to read these Pesukim. It starts off with Yoshev B' Seter Elyon , the one that's in the hiding of the One above, God is protecting him. But a deeper explanation is that the term Seter is like a Nes Nistar/a hidden miracle . Like the Ramban says, everything is hidden miracles. S pecifically, Hashem's name Sha- dai , which is found in the mezuzah, refers to hidden miracles. The next line, B'Sel Shaddai Yotlonan means we're talking about somebody that God is dealing with, using hidden miracles. And even though God is dealing with him through hidden miracles, so that he sees success and all kinds of wondrous prosperity and goodness in his life, he might make a mistake and say, I did it with my own strengths. But No . He says to Hashem, Machsi U'Msudati/I realize that God's the one that brought me the protection and success . What a nice way of reading this Pasuk- Yoshev B'Seter Elyon / He's being protected by God in a hidden way and yet he reveals the cover and says, No, Omar L'Hashem/I tell God — after I was Yoshev B'Seter Elyon - Machsi Umsudati,I realize it was only You. Another explanation is from the Kedushat HaLevi, Rav Yitzhak HaLevi of Barditchev ( Parashat Vayeshev ). He asks a question. Grammatically, it says Machsi/You are my refuge, Umsudati/You are my fortress in the past tense, and then Elohai Evrach Bo/God that I will rely on- in the future tense. Shouldn't it say Elohai Bitachon Bo/ God that I relied in the past? He says a very important rule. Sometimes God sends a challenge in order to test us, to strengthen our hearts to rely on Him, to realize there's nothing else but Hashem. That's what it means when David Hamelech says, I understand that Hashem is Machsi UMSudati I know that God protects me. So if God protects me, why is this war coming upon me? Why is this challenge coming to me? It's coming Elohai Evtach Bo/God- So that I will rely on You…. Like David Hamelech says in perek 118, pasuk 10, כׇּל־גּוֹיִ֥ם סְבָב֑וּנִי בְּשֵׁ֥ם יְ֝הֹוָ֗ה כִּ֣י אֲמִילַֽם׃ All the goyim surround me, I will (in the future) cut them down with Hashem's name. I understand that Hashem brought me this problem in order to give me the opportunity to strengthen my bitachon and to be saved. So that's another important lesson- Elohai Evtach Bo/ know that things happen so that I will rely on Him. Have a wonderful day.

QUIDDITY English transliteration of the Latin quidditas, meaning "whatness"; in scholastic usage it designates a thing's essence taken precisely in its capacity to inform the intellect of the answer to the question "what is it?" Related Terms. At most a virtual minor distinction obtains between essence and quiddity: essence is the thing as capacity for existence, whereas quiddity is the thing as capacity to instruct the intellect. The quiddity of a thing, if definable, is analytically expressed in its real definition by its genus and specific difference. As such it is similar to, but more exact than, nature in boethius's first sense: "anything that can be grasped (by the intellect) in any way whatever" (De persona et duabus naturis 1; Patrologia Latina, 64:1341BC). Nature, in the more etymological and Aristotelian sense, is closer to essence than to quiddity inasmuch as nature signifies a thing's principle of operation—effective only through existence. Such are the comparisons between these terms suggested by St. thomas aquinas (De ente 1, 3). To these he adds form and Aristotle's phrase "the what was to be" (τò τί [symbol omitted]ν ε[symbol omitted]ναι, quod quid erat esse ). He defines the form that is convertible with essence and quiddity as "the complete essential determination" of a thing. This is the "form of the whole" (forma totius, ε[symbol omitted]δος) according to the Avicennian interpretation of book seven of the Metaphysics —an interpretation rejected by Averroës but accepted by St. Thomas (In 7 meta. 9. 1467–69). Form in this sense includes the matter as universalizable as well as the "form of the part" (forma partis, μορφή), the substantial form as distinct from matter (see matter and form). Form thus expresses the completeness of an essence's specification in itself with respect both to existence and to intellect, and in the latter respect is synonymous with quiddity. Some modern scholars concur independently in the Averroist interpretation that Aristotle excludes matter altogether from the notion of form or species and its equivalent, "the what was to be." But St. Thomas insists that Aristotle holds its inclusion necessary in the case of natural substances, since it must be included universally in their definition (In 7 meta. 9.1468; In I anim. 1.24–29). Aristotelian Meaning. The term quidditas, coined in the 12th century in translations of Avicenna into Latin and possibly also in paraphrasing the Topics, stems ultimately from Aristotle's own phrase "the what was to be." From its grammar and from the probable places of its earliest appearance (Topica101b 22, 132a 1), it originated in a context of dialectics and predication and was designed as a verbal sort of variable representing the full answer to any Socratic question as to what a thing is, for example, man, virtue, the Sophist, etc. The particular reference of the phrase can be specified in any context by adding a dative, for example, "the what was it for a man to be," or "the being characteristic of man." This full answer, Aristotle says, is expressed in the definition of the thing in question. As such the phrase must be distinguished from another Aristotelian one, "the what is it" (τò τί ἐστι, quod quid est ), of wider range, since it not only may refer to the complete formula or definition but may also be satisfied by any one of its parts taken separately—genus, matter, difference, or form. Grammatically, the past tense, "was" ([symbol omitted]ν, erat ), has a habitual or transtemporal sense, indicating the specifying, or formal, identity of the essence with respect to any individual of that essence at any time (Meta. 1031a 15–32a 11, esp. 32a 5; Aquinas, In 7 meta. 5) or, in the case of the separate substances, beyond time. Going Boldly Where The Last Man has Gone Before! Decrease time over target:  PayPal or Venmo @clastronaut Cash App $clastronaut

In this episode, Kayla and Martina discuss the many words and phrases that are often misused in the English language. Then, they unpack the controversy that is Ruby Franke's guilty plea.

Original Air Date: Monday 13 November, 9 pm Eastern Description: Because Phil is still traveling in Europe, this week's episode is a very special show. Several weeks back, Slate published a "hit piece" on the comedic actor Martin Short, questioning his talent, his career, and accusing him of being nothing but annoying (while also acknowledging that he might just be the most genuinely decent and kind person in show business). Many people have weighed in and come to Martin Short's defense since that article. This week, Dean and Phil take their turn, as they count down their all-time Top Ten "Martin Shorts". Grammatically incorrect? Sure. Fascinating and hilarious? You bet!

I asked Yoan (CHATGPT/AI Assistant): Did I split the infinitive when I entitled a recent Podcast: "How To EFFECTIVELY stop DDOS, Brute Force, Worms, and Other Cyber Attacks?" Yoan answered: In the sentence "How to effectively stop DDoS and cyber attacks?" there is indeed a split infinitive. A split infinitive occurs when an adverb or other word is placed between "to" and the base form of a verb. In this case, "effectively" splits the infinitive "to stop." Split infinitives are not considered grammatically incorrect in modern English, and they are often used to add emphasis or clarity to a sentence. While some traditional grammar rules suggested avoiding split infinitives, this is no longer a strict rule in contemporary English. Many style guides and language experts now accept split infinitives as a valid and sometimes preferable construction. So, your sentence "How to effectively stop DDoS and cyber attacks?" is grammatically correct and widely accepted in modern English. I responded: Thank you, I am old school, so I was taught never to split the infinitives. But it seems English has evolved from that. It is a good thing as although it was grammatically incorrect to split the infinitives, everyone did it except the very few academics. But the practice has become the standard, is that not the case? Yoan then replied: You're correct in noting that the rule against splitting infinitives was more rigid in the past, it was often taught as an absolute prohibition in formal writing. However, as the English language has evolved, so have the attitudes towards grammar rules, including the split infinitive rule. In modern English, splitting infinitives is generally considered acceptable and even preferred in many cases when it helps to clarify the meaning or adds emphasis to a sentence. Language evolves over time, and usage ultimately shapes the rules. In practice, split infinitives have become common and are widely accepted in both formal and informal writing. Many style guides, such as The Chicago Manual of Style & The Modern Language Association's MLA Handbook, no longer maintain strict prohibitions against split infinitives. They acknowledge that clarity and natural expression should often take precedence over old-fashioned prescriptive rules. So, while some traditionalists may still prefer to avoid split infinitives in certain situations, it is no longer considered a grammatical error in contemporary English. The practice of splitting infinitives has indeed become the standard in many cases. -- That concludes the essence of my conversation with CHATGPT/OpenAI regarding the accuracy of a title I employed. This discussion has been enlightening, offering deeper insights into how technology has significantly advanced, making it more accessible and user-friendly. What used to necessitate formal education may no longer be the case today. YouTube's wealth of DIY videos and AI-driven tools provide invaluable assistance in navigating the complexities of professional life. What's imperative now is for individuals to become tech-savvy, capable of framing questions for AI & utilizing technology to access answers and support. It's no surprise that enrollment in community colleges & some four-year institutions has plummeted by as much as 37 percent. College dropout rates, especially among African Americans, remain unacceptably high. Traditional institutional learning is gradually becoming obsolete, largely due to the influence of technology. Furthermore, language itself is evolving, with popular language gaining acceptance in academic and formal writing. As we move forward, we must proactively plan for the societal changes that demand adjustments in education—what we teach and how we teach—since technology and popular culture are increasingly integrated into modern society. Thank you for listening. Please share and subscribe to this podcast on any stream. Find your stream and support us here: https://anchor.fm/theneoliberal. theneoliberal.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/theneoliberal/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/theneoliberal/support

Pressure cooker for what? Grammatically incorrect nominations, not so spicy bitches, disappointing secrets, chicken strips, safety socks, plus mums and outfits to debut but where's the strategy?Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Daily Shower Thoughts podcast is produced by Klassic Studios. Shower thoughts are sourced from reddit.com/r/showerthoughts [Promo] Check out the Daily Dad Jokes podcast here: https://dailydadjokespodcast.com/ [Promo] The Daily Life Pro Tips Podcast. Improve your life in less than 10 minutes a day. Pod links here Daily Life Pro Tips website. [Promo] The Daily Facts Podcast. Get smarter in less than 10 minutes a day. Pod links here Daily Facts website. [Promo] Check out the Get Happy Headlines podcast by my friends, Stella and Mickey. It's a podcast dedicated to bringing you family friendly uplifting stories from around the world. Give it a listen, I know you will like it. Pod links here Get Happy Headlines website. Shower Thought credits: thedudeguy420, BlundeRuss, Worldly_Ask_2968, Scatobaza, Gottaimproveatmath, Critical-Loss2549, Rollo49, Independent_Lead8277, gravydavid, griftertm, BlundeRuss, MrJr01, Big-Imagination-6910, exoduscv, Venus-Death-Trap, SalMinellaOnYouTube, Tomycj, murderallthewookiees, sackafackaboomboom, , DumbNoobPenguin, local_reddituser, DJkiller669, TryingtoGetWell28, abhinav280605, RedValkyr, SpillingMistake, BlundeRuss Podcast links: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3ZNciemLzVXc60uwnTRx2e Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/daily-shower-thoughts/id1634359309 Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/daily-dad-jokes/daily-shower-thoughts iHeart: https://iheart.com/podcast/99340139/ Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a5a434e9-da18-46a7-a434-0437ec49e1d2/daily-shower-thoughts Website: https://cms.megaphone.fm/channel/dailyshowerthoughts Social media links Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DailyShowerThoughtsPodcast/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/DailyShowerPod Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/DailyShowerThoughtsPodcast/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dailyshowerthoughtspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FUEL FOR PRAISE! The Master's Plan • Ephesians 1:3-8 • Faith Community • 4/23/23 Intro: I think people today aren't too different from people 2000 years ago. Sure, we drive cars, fly in airplanes, take antibiotics, soon to enjoy In-N-Out burgers, are glued to our cell phones, Google information from Wikipedia, and a thousand other fantastic innovations that people in Paul's day couldn't have imagined. But in some very deep ways, we are just like them. Every person who draws a breath shares with everyone else the same very deep needs whether they can articulate them or not. Let me put them into the form of three disturbing questions: [1) Do I belong?] i.e. am I wanted? Believe it or not, that's why we identify with teams, and create cliques with innies & outies, and even befriend each other on Facebook. We don't want to be left out or passed over. And we never want to be the last person on the playground to be chosen when teams divide up. Who are my people, my family? Do I belong? (Here?) We want to be wanted. [2) Do I Matter] Why am I here? What's the point? We want to be a part of something that matters. We want to be significant, to do something that is important, that lasts. We try to find it in our jobs, and in the causes we pursue (in politics or social issues), and even in our recreational pursuits—to be a great golfer, or to visit every major league baseball stadium. It's why some people will pursue significance by trying to be somebody, to be popular—or least well known—even if means shooting innocent people for 5 minutes of fame. What we don't want is to come to the end of our life and realize it really wouldn't have mattered had we never been born. We need to matter. [3) Am I secure?] Life is uncertain, and there are plenty of fears that face us—fear of rejection, of getting hurt or sick, or the granddaddy of them all—dying. Which all of us will do. Eventually. Then what? Our need for security sometimes moves us to earn lots of money, or reduce physical risks, or avoid commitments to others. But life is terribly uncertain, and you can't count on much of anything except that as long as you are alive, you're vulnerable. •We shouldn't be surprised that in our generation, these needs are inflamed. After all, think about what we have been taught: [√You are a freak accident of chance.] From earliest time, we are indoctrinated with the story that we all are a product of evolutionary processes which began accidentally, and as a result of a very long time + nearly infinite chances, the human animal developed into what we are today. There was no reason it happened, no guiding mind behind the process—we're all just freak accidents. As a result: [√There is no reason or purpose for your life.] Kind of difficult to find purpose in your life when you realize that there is no design or reason for anything. If life means nothing, your life won't mean much. Even if you dream up some sort of personal purpose, it's all taste and preference; you're here today, buried tomorrow, and eventually forgotten forever. (Who was Miss America 1937?) I don't know. Who cares? Nobody remembers. Because it doesn't matter. Nobody and nothing really matters. Esp because: [√History is going nowhere.] History is just the recap of what's happened, but there's no order or scheme to it, no purpose or plan. There's no goal, no arrival, or intended end. It is what it was. You can't read into it any greater design. Human history may die out with a sigh or end with the sun exploding, but there's no difference either way. We'll all vanish from the universe, and it won't have mattered that we ever existed anyway. (Wow. That's a pleasant thought.) •What we've been taught inflames and exacerbates these deep human needs to belong, to matter, and to experience some sense of security. We all have these needs, these deep longings. Every person. Even you & me. And God is going to address these needs in such a way that you'll praise and thank Him like never before. But first, you have to understand what he has done. WHAT HAS GOD EVER DONE FOR ME??? Glad you asked… •1:3-14 are a single sentence in the original text (in fact one of the longest in the NT!)—The ESV broke it up into 6 sentences, the NIV into 8! But Paul wrote it as one long outburst of praise, without even taking a breath for all God has done for us! It explodes with excitement and gratitude. Grammatically, it reads like a plate of spaghetti, and it's nearly impossible to cleanly separate all the parts—they run from one thought into another, as though Paul's pen couldn't keep up with his racing mind. And NB what he says: ➡What? We should speak well of God (vs. 3a): Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ… •Blessed sounds like one of those religious words that don't mean much. But the word in Gk is euloghtoß—we get the word “eulogy” from it; and it means to speak well of, to honor and praise. Usually includes expressing gratitude for a person or things he has done to enrich your life. EG your boss gives you a bonus just to encourage you; your friends unexpectedly invite you out for dinner and pick up the check; someone in your Life Group sends you a note of encouragement at precisely the right moment, saying exactly what you need to hear. It all moves you to say, thank you! and you speak well of the person. How well you speak of God depends on how well you grasp all that He has given to you. You have to realize what God has done, and you have to believe it's really true. And that will fuel your praise and worship of Him. So we bless or praise or speak well of God…why? Why? There is nothing He has to give that He hasn't already given to us in Christ! (vs. 3b): …who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, ➡You might be thinking, “Oh great—just what I need: a few more blessings in heaven. How about something here and now?” But this is not saying that all the good stuff that will enrich our lives is locked up in heaven and you'll have to die to get it. Rather, in the heavenly places refers to nothing more/less than the unseen realm of spiritual reality all around us. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist or doesn't affect you. Heavenly places doesn't mean “up” or “later,” but “not limited to what we see; eternal and supernatural.” So he's not referring to cars and boats and houses and new golf clubs—he's saying that the stuff that really matters, the things that are eternal and really important in life, all those things have been already given to us. NB: •with every spiritual blessing—i.e. you've got it all. See what this is saying? God hasn't scrimped with us. He has given us not a few, not some, not adequate, not many, but every, all blessings. There are some groups that teach at salvation we get some, but not all blessings that God has to offer—the better ones of power and gifting come later to the initiated and committed. But Paul contradicts that: there is no missing ingredient for you to put your life together. So you don't need to try to get something you don't now have, but rather you need to realize and use what you've already been given in Christ. It's hard to grasp—but there is no good spiritual blessing remaining that He hasn't given to you. If it is good, and good for you, He has already given it. (Gee, maybe He missed me.) Nope. Not possible. If you are in X, a believer, you are the favored recipient of every blessing He has to give. Remember in Christ refers to what accompanies a relationship with Jesus. It's a package deal! •So now do you get it? Your excitement, your praise and worship, your speaking well of God to others and to Him depends on how well you understand and believe all that He's done for you! Now, before we get specific, let me give the rest of this passage (vss. 4-14) the once-over. This is what God has done for you: 1. God has chosen you (vss. 4-8a). So you belong!. You are not a nobody. You are not an outsider. You are wanted by God. You are therefore not insignificant, but special. 2. God is including you (vss. 8b-12). So you matter! He is taking you into His confidence and including you in His plans and purposes; you are not directionless or purposeless or meaningless. 3. God will protect you (vss. 13-14). So you are secure! He guarantees your future and promises to bring you to Himself where you will be with Him forever. •It's no coincidence that when Paul bursts into praise to God for all His blessings lavished on us believers, he addresses these 3 deep, universal human needs that God Himself has met in Christ. And as we go through this, you'll notice that the Father is focused in the first, the Son in the second, and the Holy Spirit in the third—the Triune God is bent on enriching your life as a believer in Christ! Also, the first concerns our past, the second our present, and the third our future. So His blessings affect our whole existence, not just someday or forever. So let's dive in (but understand I'll only be able to scratch the surface of all that God has done for us.) •Here are three incredible blessings God has given to us: #1. GOD HAS CHOSEN US! A. Three Staggering Thoughts (1:4) even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him… 1. What? “He chose us” Sometimes we're tempted to think that God doesn't care or doesn't know about my life. He's got a million problems to deal with—floods and earthquakes and other disasters; the general deterioration of sane thoughts about what's true—male and female are different, or a baby fresh out of the womb ought not to be put to death; or the twisting of what He's like or the disbelief of what's He's done; His hands are full, and has no time for little o me. I'm just one of a blob of billions of nameless, faceless others who happen to cash in on the His somewhat generous offer of whoever believes will be saved (John 3:16). I sneaked in on the whoever. When I see God face to face, He'll ask, “Gabriel, who's this?” To which Gabriel will answer, “Oh, he's just one of those whoevers.” Nothing could be farther from the truth. He chose us. Not only that, but He chose us! •We often picture it as the reverse: we chose Him. But actually the reverse is true. When the Bible speaks of who chose whom, it always has God as its subject and man as its object. Nowhere does it say that God was passive and we sought Him out and chose Him. NO, we responded to His call through believing the Gospel, the Good News: [Acts 13:48; 1 Thess. 1:4; 2 Thess. 2:13-14] That brings us a lot of questions, but don't let all the questions obscure what is clear so you miss the point: God chose you. He wanted you! That fact is underscored by the next phrase: 2. When? “before the foundation of the world” or as NIV: before the creation of the world. In other words, He chose us before we had the mental faculties to understand or even say God. Even more: You weren't even alive when God chose you. So that clearly prevents any human qualities to intrude in God's choice as if God chose us because He saw in us some great potential. So why did He choose me/you? I have no idea; but again, I do know what He didn't base His choice on—on goodness/merit on our part. NB: 3. Why? “that we should be holy and blameless before Him” He chose us warts and all. [J. Sidlow Baxter: He did not choose us because we were holy, but to be holy…!”/x] We were chosen when in fact we were NOT holy; but we were chosen to become holy and blameless. So He chooses to be involved in our lives both now, and in the outcome. He didn't choose you just so that someday you'd arrive in Heaven, but to purify your life and fit you for heaven now. He's not intending to provide an entrance ticket to forever but a complete overhaul of your life right now. •This is remarkably comforting and humbling. The fact that HE did the choosing is humbling because we didn't contribute anything; but it's also comforting because it assumes He knew what He was getting—a pretty broken and imperfect group of people. So nothing really surprises Him now that we're His. He saw it all long ago, and still wanted us. It's a mind-blowing thought: God knew all about you, and chose you in eternity past before you ever existed to live with Him forever without a single defect or blemish. This is so startling that Paul uses two pictures to help us understand the truth of God's choice for us: His choice is like an adoption (vss. 5-6) and like a redemption (vss. 7-8). B. Two Profound Pictures 1. Adoption (vs. 4c-5a): In love He predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ… predestine—lit. to mark out or decide beforehand a specific course of action. (Only God can do this with any certainty.) And what God decided long ago would happen to us is that we'd be chosen for His family. Paul says God's choice is a lot like adoption in civil law: According to Roman law, a man could adopt a child as his own. However, if he did so, there could be no second class citizens: an adopted child would be placed into the family with all the rights, privileges and responsibilities of that family, with a new heritage and future, a new standing in the community, in effect, a whole new life! The ties to his old life would be severed, and he would assume the identity of a member of that family. •So God walked through the dormitory of human history, looking at spiritual orphans, for some reasons unknown to us, chose us to be adopted into His family, with full privileges and responsibilities as members of His household, and freed from all ties and obligations to our former lives. And because adoption illustrates God's choice, there are no unwanted or surprise-kids in His family. Adopted means chosen, wanted. He chose & wanted you. •“…but I just can't get over why He would want to adopt ME?” Look, I don't know why He'd want you either…but He does! (vss. 5b-6) …according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has blessed us in the Beloved. All I know is that His choice of you is something that pleases and delights his heart. NB: purpose might sound dispassionate and clinical, but isn't. NLT captures the idea in vs. 5: This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure./x It pleased Him to do so, and it will be to the praise of His amazing and glorious grace! •But God's choice goes further than merely adoption, because even though it clearly reveals His desire and choice, parents who adopt cannot change the fundamental nature of a child, or change his/her past, or impart their nature. So Paul uses a second profound picture to illustrate God's choice—that of: 2. Redemption: (vss. 7-8a) In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace which He lavished upon us… Redemption always assumes the person is in some bondage—some forced slavery from which they cannot escape. In Paul's mind, you are kind of like a slave. In NT times, the Roman empire had more slaves than citizens—6 million of them. And buying and selling them was a major business. If someone wanted to free a slave, he'd have to pay the purchase price, buying the enslaved person for himself, then grant him freedom by presenting him with a written certificate of deliverance. The payment and the process was called redemption. Don't miss the point: unless someone greater paid the price, it was hopeless for the slave. No one ever redeemed himself. [Ps. 59:7-9, 15/x] God's choice of you was like a redemption because He purchased you for Himself. He chose you when you were bankrupt/unable to pay. You were enslaved to your sins and trespasses, & sentenced to death. If God were to pay that penalty, He'd have to forfeit a life for your life. And He did. God paid that penalty; it cost Jesus His own life. His choice of you was very, very expensive. And to Him, you are that valuable. You cost that much. He was willing to pay that much for you. Don't ask me why. •And how much? You received forgiveness according the riches of His grace (7b)—i.e. not that He has just enough to cover your sins, but instead, He has more than enough. Riches means to have everything you need and so much more. As terrible and as dark and troubling as your intentional sins are, far-far greater is His grace. He has freely given to you more grace and forgiveness than you need or will ever be able to use. And all this—His forgiveness and unearned love—even though it was expensive and cost Him His Son's life—He lavished on all of us (vs. 8a). •This is not the picture of someone who gives meagerly and begrudgingly, just enough, counting the exact change to the penny; no, this is One who thinks nothing of the cost for the joy that He has in choosing you, wanting you, rescuing you, forgiving you. Remember what happens after the Super Bowl or the World Series, in the locker room, when all the players are handed bottles of expensive champagne—not to drink, but to spray around as an act of extravagant celebration?! That's the picture. That's how lavishly God has given you His grace and mercy and forgiveness. Don't ask me why. But He has. #2. GOD IS NOW INCLUDING US! How? (vss. 8b-10) …in all wisdom and insight, making known to us the mystery of His will according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ, as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth… 1. In His Confidence It's one thing to be chosen, but entirely another to be included. A while back I had a plumbing problem, and I called a plumber. As he was bent over, tending to the leak, I was observing. I'm naturally curious, so I asked Qs: “So what's that? A pipe wrench. (Silence.) Will it be hard to fix? Nope. See any problems? (Turns, stares right me and says) Yep. Obviously, I was annoying. But God isn't like that. His desire is to include us is what He's doing. Not like a father who impatiently pushes his son away and snaps, “Go play or do something. I'm working. Don't bother me. I need to get stuff done.” Instead, God patiently explains what He's doing, and how He wants us to help Him. And one of the blessings we have is that God has told us the secret of what He intends to do. He unrolls the blueprint for human history and patiently explains to us His plans. And it includes: [•The “Mystery”: Something once hidden, now revealed] mystery doesn't mean what we usually think—something hard to understand, or cloaked in secrecy until the final few pages. Instead, it's a word used to explain what people once didn't understand but now has been revealed to us: God is telling us where He's taking human history! He wants us to be in the know. He's confiding in us in ways he didn't to Abraham, or Moses, or David, or even Isaiah! NB: [•The Unseen Hand: God is at work directing history] It's not all random. History is headed somewhere. NB: God purposes (vs. 9), and predestines/predetermines (vs. 5, 11). Like pieces of a puzzle, events are falling into place and in the end, when the time is right, God will accomplish what He's been working on all along. EG: [•The Outcome: Jesus will reign supreme to His glory] (vs. 10b) to unite all things in Him… What awaits the end of human history is a King, and Kingdom, where all opposition will be subdued. Everything will be made new and made right. Jesus will no longer be an afterthought to anyone, and He will have no rivals. Nothing will dishonor Him, and all will worship and obey Him. •So God wants us to know what He's up to, and wants us to see the big picture. We who know how it will all turn out should see life differently now. We know people matter. We know God wants us to love Him. We know sharing the Good News and helping others come to know and love Jesus is what counts. Little else someday will seem very significant. Our tendency is to get so wrapped up in our daily lives and problems that we fail to see that we are the primary actors on the stage of history; God is writing the script and directing the play. Your neighbors, your family, your job, your friends, your opportunities are all part of the means to bring all things to bow willingly before Him in love. We are never to be purposeless, or directionless; we are part of the grand scheme of things. And that's not all—God includes you in a share of the end product, the Kingdom of His Son! When God gathers everything together in Christ, there are two groups of people who will be included… [2. In His Inheritance] (vss. 11-13a) In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of His glory. In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation and believed in Him… Wait! [•Who? both believing Jews and Gentiles] vs. 11: “we (believing Jews) who were the first to hope in Christ”: they had heard about the promised Messiah, the coming Christ, the unique one in all the history of the world who would begin to set all things right; they looked—even longed for His coming. Those who accepted Jesus as the Christ will be included. vs. 13a: “you” (believing Gentiles/non-Jews); we were included when we responded to the Gospel/Good News—that Jesus died in our place for our guilt, and was raised from the dead as our Lord. If you trust what He did as enough to make you right with God, you'll receive forgiveness, and a new life in following Him! At the very moment you believe, you are included in Christ—and all the blessings become yours! [•What? a share in His wonderful Kingdom] It's an inheritance! (You say, Wait! I'm included in the will? I'm named as an heir? YEP!) What is it? It can't be spiritual resources, because God says we already have all He has to give (vs. 3). Honestly, I don't know, except that it will be beyond description! [1Cor. 2:9;1Peter 1:4/x] Whatever it is, if we were to see it right now, it'd make the highest standard of living, all the money and toys, the most adventuresome lifestyle seem like suffering with the flu, or living in the a backward 3rd world slum. Hard to imagine. But that is what is waiting for you as part of His kingdom. [Theologian Oprah Winfrey/x] When God gathers everything together in Christ, we know for certain that we will belong, we will have a place, we will obtain an inheritance. How can we be sure? Because the Holy Spirit given to us fulfills 2 roles in us: [#3: GOD WILL PROTECT US!] We know ourselves too well. We've tried and failed, but tried again and again failed, and now we try, but cynically wonder if we even should try. Why bother? We know we'll probably screw it up. If it depends on us, we're completely dependable…to be undependable. So we long for something sure and certain that will bring comfort and assurance, something greater than our own puny efforts. And God responds by giving us His Holy Spirit: [1. With a seal of ownership] (vs. 13) In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit… The seal refers to a signet ring you depress into wax, or a small cylinder you roll over wax, creating an impressed image or writing. Two purposes for the seal: to claim ownership (the Roman govt. on a document, or a letter from its sender); and to protect it from anyone unauthorized tampering with it. It was a capital offense to open an officially sealed item. Many seals had the name and image of its owner; so in this case, Jesus marks his own image and name with the Holy Spirit on our lives when we believe in Him! It's His way of showing that we are safe until we arrive at our destination. We are secure in Him until that day. I understand that no one else can tamper with my salvation, but what if God Himself has second thoughts/changes His mind about me? NB the second illustration of His protection: [2. With a down payment] (vs. 14) (the promised Holy Spirit) who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory. •guarantee is a word that's used in modern Greek for engagement ring! You give the ring to show how serious you are. But in the NT, the word referred to the down payment or first installment of the purchase price that secured the legal claim on the item. But what if He breaks the engagement or refused to take delivery? He won't. The greater the down payment, the more certain you are He's serious. To assure us of His certainty, God gives us part of Himself as the down payment. That's like giving my son/daughter as a down payment to assure that I'll take delivery for a house or car; not to do so would mean I'd forfeit my son/daughter. That's crazy! Same with God. He's giving you His Word, His most solemn promise, He's assuring you that what He started by forgiving you all your sins at great cost, and starting you on the new path of life as a member of His family, He will finish by completely redeeming your life and bringing you into His Kingdom as one of the named heirs. He will do this, because He has given you His Spirit who will never leave you. [x] What if it's all true? Paul is writing this under house arrest in Rome, awaiting trial before the infamous Caesar Nero, the Hitler of the Century One. But his mind is not on his circumstances, but instead thinks back to before the foundation of the world when he was chosen, and forward to the consummation of all things when Jesus Christ will reign supreme as Lord over the universe; and he smiles and bursts into praise to God. That's perspective! •Do you really believe it? You're wanted by the Living God of the universe. He has already given you all that's eternally worth having. He draws you into His plan, and will use you to accomplish it. When all the dust settles, He promises you, assures you of your place in His Kingdom. How well you grasp and believe that will determine how well you speak of God—what will move you to worship Him and speak well of Him to others. Pray

March 8, 2023 HIGHLIGHT REELS - Guanxi (关系) is exceptionally difficult to translate because its application in the Chinese cultural context is dynamic, emotional, and nuanced depending on the “relationship,” often misrepresented as its translation. Grammatically, Guanxi is a noun, but it resolves a situation as an adjective and an explanation like an adverb, as its level is the overarching factor influencing behaviors. Hence, we simplify its understanding with a metaphor, the GUANXI ENGINE, which is the driving force for all interactions in China.Most of the role playing and interactive portions have been removed to highlight the concepts covered during the first portion of this experience.AGENDACuriosity Exercise Chinese Phrases Warm-Up Guanxi Engine Introduction Cultural Dichotomy Business Primer Art of War Negotiation Tactics For more information about Mandarin Savvy Chinese Language and Cultural Immersion Meetups:W: https://www.genejhsu.com/E: info@emechina.us#chinabusiness #chineseculture #speakchinese #mandarin #chineselanguage #expatchinese #guanxi #workshop #meetups

Run With It, is the hilariously funny debut comedy special of Mark Gregory that pays tribute to his uncle, the late Dick Gregory. In this special. Mark takes us on a journey through his life as a dad, divoree and comedian. This autobiographical and topical masterpiece keeps you engaged with sharpe wit and observational humor that is fun for everyone. YouTube: https://bit.ly/3ymp1to Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/ComedyDynamics Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/ComedyDynamics TikTok: https://vm.tiktok.com/J1wucyQ/ Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/ComedyDynamics http://www.comedydynamics.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

* Sweet Baby Jesus* Ted Cruz

The post I’ve got a question for you. Is your gratitude grammatically correct? appeared first on Key Life.

In this Chrisypoo of a tale we're taken through centuries of unexplainable transient lighting orbs. Or, the more accurately, but less intelligent sounding term  "Ball Lighting."  What can create this floating electrical phenomena which has been known to explode unexpectantly.  Known to hit churches, kill "rude, unbecoming" pigs and enter your home Mary Poppins style this anomaly has yet to be solved.  Stick around and learn with us and find out what 3 things Chris wants the children to fear most.P.S. Don't forget to submit your stories of good deeds gone wrong.Support the show

In this episode, Mitch nerds out on the biblical text. Words are important!New episodes every Monday and Friday.We'd love to hear from you!Facebook: facebook.com/pinocchioprojectpodcastEmail: pinocchioprojectpod@gmail.comTwitter: @PinocchioPod

The post God Is Grammatically Correct: Pastor Bob appeared first on Watts Bar Community Church.

Developing Your Personal Bible Study: Interpreting the Bible Grammatically Pastor John Tilley Wednesday, July 20, 2022

Grammatically, there are times that you need to join two thoughts, two paragraphs, or two phrases. At the junction of these two thoughts, you insert a conjunction to help smooth the transition. In life we also need those conjunctions, those transitionary words or seasons that allow us to transition into the next phase more smoothly. Not only do these conjunctions join, but they can also signal a change or a contrast. I've got a word that will help you to face the next juncture in life on  A Word with Anthony Walker. 

Subjects Subjects are always nouns, the noun or nouns in a sentence which do the action represented by the main verb, for example, “I teach.” “I” is the subject of the verb “teach,” because “I” is doing the action of teaching. “You will learn.” “You” is the subject of the verb “learn.” The time when the action takes place ─ in this case, at some point in the future ─ doesn't matter. “You” is still the subject of the sentence even if the action hasn't happened yet. “We studied.” “We” is the doer of “studied,” thus the subject of the sentence. Here, the verb is past-tense but that doesn't affect the subject. “We” are still the actors who performed the action of studying even though it happened long ago. “It isn't.” “It” is the subject of “isn't.” The subject can also be a noun which is said not to be doing the action of the verb if the verb is modified by a negator like “not, never, in no way.” In other words, subjects can also be the non-doers of the verb action if the point of the sentence is to say outright that the subject didn't do something, as in “she cannot forget.” “She” is the subject of “forget,” even when “she” isn't actually forgetting because she can't, according to the sentence. So even if “she” is a non-doer, grammatically she's still the “doer,” the subject. One last example: “they must leave.” “They” is the subject, in this case, the need-to-doers of the verb action “leave. Direct Objects A direct object is any noun which receives the action of a verb, for instance, “I see you.” “I” is the subject, “see” is the verb, and “you” is the direct object because “you” is the object of the seeing in this sentence. That is, it's on the receiving end of the seeing that the subject (“I”) is doing here. Here's another example: “You make lots of money.” What's the verb here? “Make.” Who's doing the making? “You,” so that's the subject, and the thing or things that are being made by you are … what? “Lots (of money).” “Of,” you'll recall from the second grammar preview, is a preposition, and its object, the OP here, is “money.” So “of money” is a prepositional phrase. If “money” is an OP, it can't also be a direct object. One noun can't do double-duty in a sentence. That's the rule. So you can always rule out an OP like “money” here as a direct object. The direct object here is “lots” and “lots” alone. Of course, “lots” and “of money” really mean the same thing when you put them together, but meaning and grammar aren't always exactly the same. Grammatically, these words function in very different ways. So even though they share one meaning, “lots” is the direct object and “of money” is a prepositional phrase. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/liam-connerly/support

There are four important rules to remember in this chapter: (1) The affix used in Latin to create comparative adjectives is -ior-, meaning “more, -er (the ending which is added to many English adjectives to make them comparative).” All Latin comparatives employ third-declension endings. (2) The affix used in Latin to create superlative adjectives is -issim-, meaning “most,” or the equivalent of adding “-est” to the end of an adjective in English. All Latin superlatives employ first/second-declension endings. (3) Latin has two ways to say “than” after a comparative form: a construction we'll call “quam + same case;” and the ablative of comparison. (4) In Latin, quam with a superlative means “as (whatever the adjective is) as possible.” Finally, let's talk about that word I mention a lot: expectation. When an adjective is comparative, and has its basic sense, “more,” what do you expect to hear after a comparative adjective, e.g. “This is bigger …”? ...than! Than what?!? When comparatives convey an aspect of “more,” they expect a way of articulating the thing which is not “more,” what the bigger thing is bigger than. Latin has two ways of saying “than.” One is to use quam — that's right, quam again, but not in the sense of “whom” or “how” -- ugh — this time as a conjunction meaning “than.” So what case should the word that follows quam be? That is, the thing being compared? Quam's not a preposition. This is a universal law to abide by. What's the grammatical relationship between the two things being compared, e.g. “This is bigger than that.” Grammatically, comparison manages the same way as apposition because two nouns are equated, or in this case not equated… but grammatically that's the same thing or maybe it's reciprocal? Don't quote me on that one but also don't at (@) me cause we all know how objective language is now. So how do appositives work? They take the same case as the noun to which they're being equated to. So as long as there's a quam serving as the equivalent of “than,” there's not much to learn here, but that's not the only option. Latin has another way of saying “than” and gues what? It's another use of the ablative case: the ablative of comparison in which the equivalent of the word following “than” in English is put in the ablative case — no quam, no preposition — just the word in the ablative. Of course, there has to be a comparative form to trip off the ablative of comparison, but again it's very simple, so simple it can be confusing. After all, the solo ablative has a number of other applications in Latin: means, time, separation, even manner. For that justification, the Romans used the ablative of comparison less often than “quam + same case,” in fact, only when the thing being compared to was in the nominative or accusative case. How confusing it would be if it were ablative, for instance! A Roman could have put in quam + same case ─ in this case, ablative ─ or not (using the ablative of comparison which all by itself implies “than”), and both would mean “than whatever-the-noun” either way. So using quam just makes everything simpler, clearer. And the Romans liked simple and clear. It was simple, and clear. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/liam-connerly/support

A selection of songs to frustrate English teachers from coast to coast

Sneaky Beliefs That Limit Your Sense of Possibility It's rare for our performance to transcend what we believe is possible for us. Leaders must therefore commit themselves to enlarging their sense of possibility -- possibility both for themselves and for their people. Our sense of possibility, however, can never exceed what we believe to be true about ourselves and about those whom we lead. Knowing this, excellent leaders are conscientious about ridding themselves of beliefs which needlessly limit their sense of what's possible. Their best efforts notwithstanding, leaders still frequently remain saddled with disabling beliefs without recognizing it. Why? Because many disabling beliefs disguise themselves by masquerading as facts. Grammatically they look like straightforward descriptions of the way things are. They give no appearance of actually being a belief. That's why I call them "sneaky beliefs." So long as we see them as "facts," they leave the impression that there is nothing that we can do to change them. By their very nature, facts are impervious to change. But once we recognize these "facts" as beliefs, we can indeed change them and rid ourselves of their their limiting influence. After all, we've been changing beliefs for our entire life, right? This episode outlines a strategy for ferreting out these culprits and banishing them from our thought process. Each time another of these sneaky beliefs is disarmed, our sense of possibility for ourselves and/or for our people grows larger. This episode is a how-to guide on achieving that outcome. For a transcript of this episode, visit https://www.leaderperfect.com/podcast and click on the link to Download Scripts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Part 2 of my Four-Part Miniseries on how to PLAN, WRITE, EDIT, and PUBLISH your creative work.My co-host for the series is Greg Larson. Greg has written and edited more than 80 books.In Part 1 we reviewed how to PLAN your book.Today we're going to review how to WRITE your book.Episode TranscriptBen Guest:Hi everyone, this is Ben Guest and welcome to part two of my four part mini-series on how to plan, write, edit, and publish your book. My co-host for this mini series is Greg Larson. Greg wrote a fantastic memoir called Clubbie. He's ghost written and edited over 80 books. In this episode, we talk the writing process and start with how writing is similar to standup comedy.Greg Larson:There's nothing more brutal than in the moment feedback of a standup comedy audience. That's a really great gift, because as an author, we don't have that. We're just inside our own head. I think that's why a lot of writing can turn masturbatory, where you're not thinking about what's the audience want? What's going to keep them reading the next sentence? As a standup comic, that's right there in your face, in a very painful way. It's an immediate stimulus response condition.Ben Guest:You know if it's working, immediately?Greg Larson:Yes. With writing, you don't really know, you just have to... I don't know what... You have to trust it. At least in the first draft.Ben Guest:I do this thing, sometimes. If I can, where if I'm in the same physical space with a good friend, family member, a trusted reader, I'll print out a chapter, a section, a scene. And I'll say, "Can you read this and give me feedback?" My parents were in town the other day. I did this with my dad and he said, "Sure." It's just maybe four pages. He said, "Sure." He left to go to the dining room table, sit there, and mark it up. And I said, "No. Can you sit right here and read it?" I kind of want to watch you in my periphery while you read it. It's as close as you can come to something like film making, when you watch it with an audience or stand up in front of a crowd, where you can just tell from the body language, "This is working. This is not working".Greg Larson:Yeah. What was his response?Ben Guest:His response to that was just like, "Okay", at this point with enough creative projects, he's like, "I'm not going to question the process." It was fine. It's better with my mom because my mom will kind of make... She'll laugh or she'll smile or she'll frown and I can see, "Okay, wait. What sentence are you on? Why did you frown right there?" You don't really get to do that as a writer. If you do, you can't do it too often because people just get sick of you.Greg Larson:Yeah. I mean, you could be the best writer in the world and with that kind of microscope on your reading process, it eventually becomes like, "Whoa, there's a lot of pressure to read".Ben Guest:Right. Also, I think you touched on something earlier, which is... So I used to be a high school, English teacher. I used to tell people, "Standup", I never did stand up, "But standup and teaching are similar in that you know right away if it's working. That you can't fake laughter and you can't fake an engaged group of students." There is that component. There's also the component when we write of... sometimes we want the reader to have to figure some stuff out. Sometimes we don't want there necessarily to be clarity. That goes back to your point of your compatriot, who's writing something and then sort of explaining exactly what that piece of dialogue meant. Whereas if we're really doing our job, we should be laying the bricks down where the audience can make the next step.Greg Larson:Yeah. There are times where you do need to interject. That's a hard one, man. I don't know... I don't know how you know... It's a gut feeling thing, I think. How many times do I interject and tell them what the meaning is and how do I do it? I know what I do is in the first draft I will over explain so that I can shave back from there. I know that I do that, but to know where and when to shave, is a gut thing.Ben Guest:Yeah. It's so hard. I think, in general, my measuring ratio is nine times out of 10... you don't need to explain it. One time out of 10, you need to. It's tough to know.Greg Larson:Yeah. I like that though. That sounds right to-Ben Guest:It's so easy to over explain. That's the number one thing, when I go back and edit my own work, the first thing that goes is like, "Why are you explaining what this means for show, don't tell"?Greg Larson:One of my old professors, John McManus, he had this rule that he would tell us. He'd say, "With the scene direction specifically", he's like, "Only leave it in there if it does two jobs. If the one job is to be a visual stimulation of some kind, and that's it, then delete it. But if the job is to be okay, show us a visual, but that visual also tells us something about the character. "Oh", he said, as he crossed his shoes, which were mismatched. It's like, "Okay, that says something about that character. That they're a little bit haphazard. They're not thinking things through, that kind of thing." That is a rule that I try to keep in my mind.Ben Guest:I love that. I think that leads us right into where I want to go next, which is... So you shared three different versions... three different drafts of just a couple paragraphs from Clubbie. I kind of marked it up. I have a couple thoughts that I kind of want to dive into which is... What I'll do actually, is I'll read part of each version because this is a little bit different, not different, bad or different, good, but just different than the process that we're describing. What I'm seeing here is the first version is just very much the skeleton, the bare bones, the framework. I'm doing this. I need to do this, this and this. Then the second version is really adding lots of description and detail. Then the third version is pairing it back just a little bit. Adding just the correct dialogue. Adding some humor and kind of turning that literary dial just a little bit. Does that make sense?Greg Larson:I think that's exactly right.Ben Guest:Let me read one paragraph from each of the three versions. This is just to kind of set the scene. This is when you're first getting to Aberdeen, is that correct?Greg Larson:Yep. That's right. I'm basically, I'm walking into the equipment closet with my new boss. I am being shown a world that is going to be my new home for the next two years. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into.Ben Guest:Right. Of course, you're now showing us, the reader, this new world. You want to convey, "I have no idea what I'm getting into." Going back to show, don't tell... The last thing in the world you want to do is say, "I have no idea what I'm getting into." You want to convey that feeling just through this scene?Greg Larson:Yep. That it's exactly right.Ben Guest:So version one…Jason throws the Aberdeen hat on your head. Just one of the caps left over from the year before. Blue, BP cap with cursive, A. Nice cap. Stretch fit. Okay, that's version one. Then version two of that exact same scene. He pulled out a blue stretch, fit cap with orange trim on the bill and an orange cursive capital A, for Aberdeen, on the crown, rather than the IronBird's logo. He slapped it onto my head so that the bill was halfway over my eyes and I could only see his feet. I left it like that.Okay. Right there, I think it's already miles ahead of version one, right?Greg Larson:Yeah. Version one, I was just trying to get the idea... I wasn't even writing. I was just saying what was going to happen.Ben Guest:It's sort of somewhere between writing an outline... Is that fair?Greg Larson:A hundred percent.Ben Guest:Before we get to version three, when you're doing version one, just that sort of all half outline, half writing, how long does that take you? Or is it just head down? There are a bunch of typos and so forth. Is it just head down writing sprint? What does that look like for you?Greg Larson:For this book, that's what that looked like. It was 2000 words a day and I was just banging it out. If a piece of dialogue or a specific visual came to me, I would put it in. Literally, the first paragraph of the section I sent you said, "We need to know what you look like early on here so we can compare it to what you look like mid-season?" That's just a note to myself. I don't write like that anymore, usually. That is just me cranking s**t out as fast as I can to get to the stuff that's actually prose.Ben Guest:Why don't you write like that anymore?Greg Larson:It was fast. It's okay for a first draft to be sloppy, but it was so sloppy that some of the ghosts from the early skeleton would get stuck in the later versions. That problem is the reason why I'm writing my new book, by hand. I can't just bang that s**t out. Every choice is more costly... physiologically.Ben Guest:That's so interesting. You're writing the new novel, by hand... Is that translating into a more finished piece of prose in the rough draft?Greg Larson:Yeah. I'm writing prose two pages a day. It might be 500 words a day. I don't know. This is the most recently filled notebook for my current novel that I'm writing. This is all prose. This is all prose. I know that I can go into the back final pages... On the last page I have a header that says, "Notes." This is just where I have ideas for things. What does Dana in my summer look like? Use my ex-girlfriend's relationship as a model. First, new and real love, so it feels permanent. Those kinds of notes. That's not prose. Those are just notes to myself. Before, I would've put them all together like I did with Clubbie. Here, they're sectioned off to the back so that I can refer back to it and say, "Oh yeah, I still have that here. I'm going to use it as a reference point for writing the actual prose".Ben Guest:Yeah. That a hundred percent makes sense. Like you said, now, the price to write those sentences is a little bit more just by virtue of doing in it with pen to paper. Now, are you noticing your thinking is changing as you're writing the sentences? You're thinking in more complete sentences?Greg Larson:Interesting. I think so. I find it's definitely the cleanest first draft I've ever written. It's still sloppy enough. The sloppiness is in the organization and the structure, as opposed to sentences and the structure and the organization. What I find is that I am sitting with the notepad open more often, looking around and thinking before writing and then going into a flow. Whereas before it was just 2000 words, let's crank this s**t out. Then, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. It's definitely sharpened things. I don't know for sure. I never go back and read. If I go back and read, it's dead. Any book that I go back and read in the middle of it dies.Ben Guest:Interesting. You don't go back and read a few pages before you start writing the next step?Greg Larson:Absolutely. After as many people as I've coached for book writing and all that stuff, that is the easiest and most surefire book killer that most people make. I don't care if they're professionals. I don't care who you are. That's the best way to kill your book.Ben Guest:Tell us why?Greg Larson:Because you go back and you're faced to face with the fact that you don't know what you're doing. The whole point of a first draft is to not know what the next step is. You're not going to know what the next step is until you finish the first draft. If you go back too early, you're going to see how much you suck. Even if it's fantastic writing, you're going to get in your head about it. You're going to get stuck trying to perfect chapter one instead of actually writing chapter two, and going forward. There's just too many pitfalls, man. I see people fall into it all the time.Ben Guest:Another pitfall, I think, is so when it comes to creative projects, it's been my experience and I've done film, I've done writing projects... It's my experience that... I may have mentioned this. There are two types of people, those who talk about their project, those who finish their project. Those who finish is a much smaller number than those who talk about it. Where people can get caught up... This ties into what you're saying, is doing work around the creative project, but not doing the actual work. If I go back and I start with chapter two, before I start reading chapter four... I read all of chapter two and I start fixing stuff. I can sort of tell myself, "Okay, I'm working on my book today." But I ain't really working on my book today-Greg Larson:That's exactly it. With the novel project I was doing that exact same thing. I was like, "I need to learn the perfect three act structure before I can start writing this book. I need to read Joseph Campbell. I need to read McKee and I need to go through all these different craft things before I can write this." I was researching and I was studying, but it wasn't me putting pen to paper.Ben Guest:Lately, I've been on a Twitter kick in terms of trying to increase the number of followers and post more helpful content. What I've been doing is, is doing threads. Threads about self-publishing. Threads about podcasting. Threads about meditation. Maybe, two or three threads, a week. It's fun. There's sort of a video game aspect of leveling up whether it's marketing or your followers or your engagements and so forth. I'll always save it for the afternoon. I think you told me this, you do all your promo stuff in the afternoon because it's not the work. It's around the work, but it's not the work. It's really easy to get sucked into that stuff, because it doesn't require you at your peak creative powers, which for me is first thing in the morning.Greg Larson:Same. To the point where, since we talked the first time, I've done zero. I'm just completely focused on this novel.Ben Guest:I think with most creative projects, but especially with writing, it's this weird thing of... It's important, I think, that we go out and live in the world and experience the world. We're going to take that experience... We talked about your book last time... the book you're writing now and that sort of stems from a very intense experience with you and your ex-girlfriend or the person you were seeing. We have to go out and live in the world... the sort of build up some experiences that we can then isolate and be it our solitude of process and write. It's this weird thing of, I think if we... if we stay in our room too much, that can be... and that can be just as seductive as social media. To stay and just write and refine and write and refine. But we have to go out and experience the world because that's going to be the basis of the next project.Greg Larson:Totally agree, dude. Some author said that he's either writing or doing something worth writing about. I get what he is getting at.Ben Guest:Yeah. I do something a little bit different than what you were saying as far as never going back and checking. Usually, what I do... So the big project I'm working on, right now, is co-writing a retired NBA, player's autobiography. It's been a great process, so far. He played 15 years in the league and won three championships with the Bulls, in the nineties. He is not a household name. The book is really about the trauma of a terribly abusive childhood and overcoming that. I think a book you're probably familiar with, David Goggins, Can't Hurt Me. It's sort of in the vain of that.Ben Guest:What I do, before I start writing, I might go back and there's a couple different books. There's the Goggins book. There's Open, by Andre Agassi which is for most people's money, the best sports memoir that's been written. Maybe, one or two other things that are around the voice and around the style of what we're trying to do. I'll do that. Then, I'll go back to the previous chapter... the previous few pages, just to get myself back in that flow, that voice before I start writing the new thing. Does that make sense?Greg Larson:It does. Like you're preparing yourself for the new day of writing?Ben Guest:Yes. Yeah.Greg Larson:Interesting. But you don't actually go back and edit.Ben Guest:It sounds kind of like what you're doing is... Each morning I'm getting up and I'm jumping in the deep end of the pool. I'm kind of wading in, from the shallow end, to reacquaint myself to the authorial voice so that it's consistent.Greg Larson:That makes a lot of sense. I've actually been thinking about that lately. How much the specific day influences the content that I'm writing. I'm like, "Wow, if I had written the same scene a different day, would it be different just because I'm coming to it with whatever random energy I'm bringing to that day of the desk?" I'm curious to see without that sort of consistency, how inconsistent the tone is and whether or not that's interesting or confusing for the reader. That first reader's going to be me, inevitably.Ben Guest:Right. The other thing I have to be really careful about is what I'm reading. You can almost unconsciously start to imitate that style.Greg Larson:Right now, I'm reading some Nietzsche. I think that's far enough for me that I think it won't influence anything.Ben Guest:I love it. Little, Nietzsche. Little, Danielle Steel.Greg Larson:Right.Ben Guest:The other thing is... because you're writing by hand... Are you working on any other writing projects?Greg Larson:No, I'm doing some book coaching, but that's just emotional coaching.Ben Guest:Right. I imagine given that you're not trying to write in someone else's voice. That you're writing every day. You probably are being consistent in terms of tone and voice.Greg Larson:That's true. I'm pretty deep into my own... into my own voice, right now. More than I have been in a long time, I'd say. Maybe ever, but definitely in a long time.Ben Guest:Okay. Let's go back to these three versions. I read version two. I'm going to read version two again, before I read the final version. For the listeners, as much as possible, try to pay attention so that you can see how just a few things have changed between version two and the final version, but how it makes all the difference. Okay. This is version two.He pulled out a blue stretch, fit cap with orange trim on the bill and an orange cursive capital A, for Aberdeen, on the crown, rather than the IronBird's logo. He slapped it onto my head so that the bill was halfway over my eyes and I could only see his feet. I left it like that.Again, what we're talking about at the top is trying to let dialogue do some of the lifting. The whole point is to communicate a feeling to the reader.Ben Guest:Here's the final version, keeping that in mind. Final version.He pulled out a blue stretch, fit cap with orange trim on the bill and an orange cursive capital A, for Aberdeen on the crown... on the crown. He slapped it onto my head, the bill sagged halfway over my eyes and I could see only his feet. "There", he said, "Now you look like a clubbie."Okay. That it's the difference. I forget who said it... Mark Twain, maybe. The difference between the lightning bug and lightning, right? It's almost the same paragraph. Just a few slight changes in that bit of dialogue at the end. "There", he said, "Now you look like a Clubbie." That conveys so much feeling.Greg Larson:Yeah. It's the initiation process. That's the period at the end of the sentence of, here's the new world. Here's where you'll be sleeping. Here's the toothbrushes. Here's the equipment. Now you're in the s**t and you have no way out. I'm glad that you gave me the assignment because I went back through and there's this sentence... It's a super long, run-on sentence. He pulled out a blue stretch, fit cap with orange trim on the bill and an orange cursive capital A, for Aberdeen, on the crown, rather than the IronBirds logo. That has the right information but I was like, "That's just way too much in your mouth. That's way too much to read." I just chunked it together. When we think about sentence construction, he pulled out a blue stretch fit cap that... Well, here's the final version you read. He pulled out a blue stretch, fit cap with orange trim on the bill and an orange... Comma, helps to break up the sentence, but it's a necessary comma. Cursive capital A, for Aberdeen on the crown. Period. He slapped it onto in my head.Greg Larson:It's... instead of one long run-on sentence, it's a pretty long sentence followed by a really quick, he slapped it onto my head, which sort of prepares us for the ending... the ending quickness, as well. There's a parallel quickness, I think.Ben Guest:A hundred percent. Just the taking out, rather the IronBird's logo...Greg Larson:Yes, which is grammatically confusing.Ben Guest:Right. Grammatically confusing. Doesn't add anything because you've already described the hat. Just that little change, as an English teacher, was always clarity in all things. That's why you want to write, well... clarity. Writing prose, you don't necessarily want clarity at all times. James Joyce is legendary for not having clarity. The sentence works so much better just with that little edit.Greg Larson:Yeah, I think so. I never had any idea that that's what I did.Ben Guest:The dialogue... just that one line of dialogue varies said, "Now you look like a clubbie." It's the counterpoint to, the hat may be the wrong size. It's not properly balanced on your head. It's this new world. It's the counterpoint to, "You may look like a clubbie, but what the f**k is going on?" Adding that piece of dialogue? What do you remember about doing that?Greg Larson:The thing with nonfiction, I'm never inventing things. That conversation is in there, in my memory. I was tweaking little pieces of dialogue to make it... If I write exactly how people talk, it's just garbled up. In my memory, there's just this fragment of him saying that I look like a clubbie after you slap the cap onto my head. I didn't even think about it as being significant. I just threw it in there because it's something that I remembered. Putting it at the end seemed right at the time. It was one of those instinct choices where I was thinking, "I didn't know all of this stuff that we just talked about. I didn't know what it symbolized or anything like that. It just felt right." That's so much of what I did. Even in the later drafts of this book and probably in the later drafts of every book, it's just following that gut instinct.Ben Guest:Yeah. I think one of the key techniques to conveying a feeling... to conveying an emotion is juxtaposition, right? Is that counterpoint. A lot of times when it comes to literary nonfiction, to memoir, I think, one, it's so helpful that if you have a journal you can refer to or you mentioned having videos and photos... All that stuff is so helpful. Then the job, once you get the scenes out, is rearranging one scene to juxtapose with the next scene. Or a piece of dialogue to juxtapose with what's happening. Or a lot of times what I'll find myself doing is going back and figuring out, "Okay, this was June of 2015. What were the pop songs? Is there a snippet of this song that I was listening to at the time or that was popular at the time, that can be a nice counterpoint to what's happening in the scene?" Just like in film, the sort of the core skill of filmmaking is the edit where you're literally juxtaposing one image to the next. I think that's a great technique that you used a good effect here of, juxtaposing what's happening with... a line of dialogue.Greg Larson:Yeah. I had never even thought about it that concretely, but you're right. I was trying to... especially in this book, I might have even gone too far with that as far as... Yeah, the juxtaposition between what I expected that world to be like and what it was actually like, it got to the point where it might have been a little bit too melancholy because the what I expected to be like was this beautiful, pristine world of baseball and then was something much seedier than that. I think I went too far with that.Ben Guest:Why do you think you went too far?Greg Larson:Some of it is from reader feedback. More than anything, when I go back and read it, I'm like, "Okay, I get what I was trying to do." I was trying to be too consistent as in, I was trying to not get off of message. I was like, "Okay, the message is disillusionment. If I want to get the message of disillusionment across, I need to constantly have that juxtaposition between what I dreamt of as a kid and what I actually got as an adult." I just did it way too much. I don't think that's honest to what life is like. It's too much gray to be that one dimensional.Ben Guest:I think that's such a great point. I remember my favorite high school English teacher. After I became a teacher, I went back and took him out to dinner and we just talked teaching. He said something to the effect of, "After about five years, you're going to look up and be like, 'Holy s**t, there are kids out there.' For the first five years of teaching, you're just so locked into what? What I'm doing? What I'm saying? What's on the board?" Right? It was great because he broke it down. He was like, "Then five years after that, you're going to do this. Then five years after that, you're going to do this. You're just sort of breaking down in five year stages. The progress you make as a teacher." I think, when we're relatively early on our writing journey... and you kind of referenced some of the storytelling, gurus and books, we become so focused on linear progress of characters. If we're writing memoir, usually the main character is ourselves.Ben Guest:There needs to be kind of a clear A to B, B to C, C to D character arc. Of course, real life is really f*****g messy. People act in contradictory ways all the time. They progress and they regress and so on and so forth. It's not really true to life, to have one sort of tone to your character arc. We should celebrate the messiness. A good storyteller, a good writer can make that whole messiness cohere.Greg Larson:Dude. Totally agree. To make that messiness coherent, in some way, is hard because there has to be a reason. When my book, that I'm writing right now, I'm like, "Oh, this character is the bad guy", therefore... What? I can't empathize them with at any point? This mother character, this kind of the bad guy. My goal is to make her as empathetic as possible. I want the reader to identify with her maybe more than they identify with the protagonist. It's really f*****g hard. I don't know if there's a formula for it, but I'm just trying my best.Ben Guest:When it comes to protagonist and antagonist, I think, the best stories are when you're almost equally invested and rooting for both characters.Greg Larson:Yeah. I mean, it sounds cheesy, but Thanos and the Avengers, I mean, you look at him, you're like, "Yeah, he makes some good points. I kind of like him".Ben Guest:The fourth Avengers was Endgame... So the third one, Infinity War. He's... and I remember reading an interview with the... with the writers, Markus and Mcfeely. They're saying at a certain point, as we're breaking the story, we realize Thanos is the protagonist of Infinity War. The Avengers are the agonists. They're trying to stop this character who has an active goal.Greg Larson:That makes sense.Ben Guest:Trying to think of another example. The movie, Heat, with Al Pacino and Robert de Niro. Both characters are fully fleshed out to the extent that even though they're on a collision course, when you're with Al Pacino's character, you want him to win and Robert de Niro's character, you want him to win. Then of course, ultimately, they're going to collide. Another great one is Hans Gruber, in Die Hard. That's another example of... He's the protagonist. He's the one actively pursuing a goal. Bruce Willis is mucking things up. Bruce Willis is the antagonist of that movie, although he is the hero, of course.Greg Larson:Yeah. With the actual writing of the first draft, it's weightlifting. It's just showing up, putting in the reps and just pounding something out. I don't care if it's really smooth or it's what I do with the skeleton first drafts. That can be done by anyone who can hit a keyboard or who can write. A finished book is better than 99.9% of every book that's ever been conceived, right? That can be done by anyone. But editing... I don't know, man, it's a certain alchemy to it and I have no idea. We're going to shift into the editing part of the process. I have no idea if I'm going to have any sort of insightful wisdom to share with you, but I am here for it.Ben Guest:Well, let's just talk process. One of my favorite quotes is... I think it was Picasso, who said, "When critics get together, they talk meaning, when painters get together, they talk brushes".Ben Guest:That's the end of part two. Next week is editing. If you found this helpful, please subscribe to my Substack. Totally free, weekly podcasts and newsletter posts with content just like this one. It's at benbo.substack.com. B-E-N-B-O.substack.com. Benbo is my family nickname. Benbo.substack.com. Thank you, so much. Have a great day. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit benbo.substack.com

Jim Baumann, better known as ‘Grammar Moses’ in print, joins John Landecker in a war of the words as he shares his humorous perspective on the way we speak and write and why we do it.

Title: Hope and Holiness Text: I Peter 1:13-16 FCF: We often struggle enduring persecution. Prop: Because our Great God is at the center of our Great Salvation, we must set our hope in future grace and be holy in our present place. Scripture Intro: [Slide 1] Turn in your bible to I Peter chapter 1. It never ceases to amaze me how deep and rich the word of God truly is. Not only is the depth of its teachings unsearchable and inexhaustible, but they are readily applicable to life. There are few weeks where something doesn't come up privately in my own life, in the news, in the greater Christendom, or even in our area that connects with the passage of scripture I am studying at the time. That is why when some ask me what my favorite passage of scripture is – it is usually the one I am studying at the time. The apostle Peter began his letter with his head in the clouds. He spoke of the greatness of our God and His centrality to our Salvation. But what is the purpose of all this theological talk? Was it simply to remind his audience that this was all true? Or was there a greater purpose? Peter is now going to shift to applying all that he has been saying since the beginning. He will use the great theological truths of God's centrality to our salvation as a springboard to command his audience to hope and to holiness. I am reading from the ESV today but you can follow along in the pew bible on page 1364. I'll start reading in verse 13. Transition: This doesn't promise to be an overly long message. Only 4 verses to consider. But my oh my are there some big concepts here. Let's look together. I.) Our Great God is at the center of our Great Salvation, so we must hope in future grace given when Christ is revealed. (13) a. [Slide 2] 13 - Therefore, i. What Peter is about to say is predicated upon all that he has said up to this point. ii. It is prudent for us then, to go back and review what He has said up to now in the letter. iii. Peter's audience is under slanderous persecution because they have dared to break from their sinful past to follow Jesus. iv. Their former friends and family have begun to ridicule and become suspicious of them for their radical life-change. v. What is Peter's message of comfort to them? It is the GREAT salvation that they have received. vi. But what makes this salvation so great? Well, Peter has spent the last 11 verses highlighting the greatness of their salvation. 1. First, that their salvation's origin was in their God. They were chosen by Him according to His own predeterminate will by the Spirit's consecrating power to be pulled from the realm of darkness into the realm of light, so that they may obey the gospel and be washed clean by the blood of Christ. 2. Second, that their salvation's security is in their God. That Christ through His resurrection and ascension has secured for them a hope that will never die. That by God's enduring and unending power, He has supplied to them a faith that continues to hold fast. And that faith, given by God, exercised by His people, will become an enduring trophy to bring greater praise and honor to Christ when He is revealed, and is now accomplishing its purpose, namely, the salvation of our souls. 3. Third, that their salvation's mystery has been revealed to them by their God. Spoken of old in pieces and parts through the Holy Spirit, now God has revealed in full the redemption of His people both in the sufferings of Christ and His current glory. vii. So what makes this salvation so great? viii. It is fully and completely of God toward us! God has done it all! He created it, he sustains it, and He has revealed it to us. ix. Knowing all of this, Peter is ready to command his audience. x. As one commentator put it - “The imperatives of Christian living always begin with “therefore”” Clowney 1988 b. [Slide 3] Preparing your minds for action i. Before Peter gets to the command of this passage, he introduces that command with two participles. ii. The first would actually translate to “gird up the loins of your mind” iii. Which is an idiom to express the concept of getting ready to do something. Since they wore robes and flowing gowns, to gird up the loins would be to gather the robes so they could run without tripping. iv. The translators of the ESV do a good job untangling that idiom for us. v. However, this participle has an aspect that is undefined. What that means is that we probably cannot determine if this is a one-time activity or an ongoing activity. All we know is that it is something that is or was. vi. So, what is or was? Their minds prepared for action. vii. This is an intriguing idea. For us, the concept of the mind and action tend to be separate. What we think is not always what we do or say. To act, is not always in conjunction with our thoughts. viii. But Peter desires that the action he is about to command his audience, be done with the mind completely and fully engaged. Indeed, Peter seems to consider the mind an integral part of fulfilling his command. ix. What is clear, is that the understanding of the greatness of God in our salvation from the previous 12 verses, is at the core of our minds being adequately prepared for what he is about to command. x. But before he gets to that, here is the second participle… c. [Slide 4] And being sober-minded, i. Unlike the first participle the aspect here suggests a more ongoing action. ii. To be sober would normally mean to remain unintoxicated. Not drunk. iii. However, contextually this word can refer to vigilance or alertness or being on guard. iv. It seems best to refer to any of these since Peter is not really getting into sins or things to avoid at this point. v. So not only must our minds be prepared for action, they must also stay ready, stay vigilant, stay alert – stay in defense mode. vi. So, we have to ask, why? vii. For what purpose must our minds be prepared and alert? d. [Slide 5] Set your hope fully i. All of our hope must be placed somewhere. ii. Why do we need prepared minds for that? Well, we need to have some kind of remembrance or mental engagement in order to give up our hope so fully and so freely. iii. Why do we need vigilance for that? Well, when we see oncoming assault that may shake us to our core, we need then, at that moment especially, to have our hope resting in something secure. iv. Have you ever walked into waves? Whether at a beach or a wave pool? I have a video of Moira experiencing waves for the first time. She boldly ran right up to the water as it left the beach. And she ran in terror from the waves as they came screaming back in. But knowing that waves do this, keeping her eyes up and ready, and bracing her body for the impacts, she has learned to trust her footing and not fear the waves. v. Do you see where I am going here? vi. Knowing the origination, sustaining, and revealing of our salvation rests solely on God gives us the right mental starting point to look up in readiness as we await the assault of our world on our God-given faith. vii. But on what are our feet of faith fully anchored? viii. On what are we leaning as we brace for impact? e. [Slide 6] On the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. i. God is not only the origin of our faith, the sustainer of our faith, the revealer of our faith… my friends… He is the finisher of our faith. ii. And one day, the Son of God will descend and the dead in Christ will be raised, and we will be, from that moment on, with the Lord – Forever! iii. Jesus will not come in meekness again. He will come in power and glory. iv. The sky will burst open and He will descend as He came. v. All will see Him and confess His Kingship. All will bow to Him as Lord. vi. All will see Him and either rejoice or despair. vii. My friends, that will be the great and terrible day of the Lord. viii. And it is on the promise of that day WE PLANT OUR FEET OF FAITH FIRMLY! ix. This life is not the end. This life is not our home. This life is not our Kingdom. This life is not where we belong. x. Therefore, what happens in this life is NOT WORTHY to be compared to the future grace we will receive when Christ comes to take us home. xi. My friends. Prepare your minds, brace for impact, set your full and complete hope in the coming Kingdom of the Son. It is already here in our hearts and in His church… but it will be fully here one day… soon. xii. His promises are forever. Unshaken. Unhindered by man or beast, by angel or demon. He will complete our salvation. xiii. Hope… in… this! f. [Slide 7] Passage Truth: The reminder of this passage on which Peter commands his audience is what he has said in the previous 12 verses. Their GREAT God is at the center of their GREAT salvation. He is the author, the sustainer, and the revealer of it. g. [Slide 8] Passage Application: If God is all of these, Peter's audience must place their hope fully and completely on God's promise of future grace that will be given to them when Christ is revealed. h. [Slide 9] Broader Biblical Truth: As we back out from this passage we see the entire counsel of God's Word revealing to us the nature of this redemption. From before time until time unending, God has designed, secured, and revealed His redemption to His people. And just as sure as all that is – so is the promise that He will complete this redemption for HIs people. i. [Slide 10] Broader Biblical Application: So, what is our response? We must be prepared. We must be ready. We must remember all that God has done so that we can root our footing of faith in the promise of His coming Kingdom and our future grace. Grace is what gets us through the day, Grace is what makes us what God wants us to be, and in that great and final day when Christ descends – Grace will reign in us as we are finally made whole. No matter what life gives us, no matter what we face, that hope is enough to keep us. Transition: [Slide 11(blank)] So, the greatness of our God and His centrality to our Great Salvation moves us to set our hope in that future grace given to us at the revelation of Christ. What a marvelous hope that is too. When we live in light of the future Kingdom of God, we can face all uncertainties. Indeed, as Jesus said to those worrying about food and clothing – seek first the kingdom of God. But not just the Kingdom Jesus said… but also His righteousness. Let's see if Peter agrees with Jesus. II.) Our Great God is at the center of our Great Salvation, so we must be holy as He is holy. (14-16) a. [Slide 12] 14 – As obedient children, i. In light of the greatness of God who is at the center of our Great salvation, Peter is going to give one more command to us before we wrap things up this morning. ii. But once again, Peter is going to couch that command behind two participles. iii. This is important for us to realize because we could come into this text and assume that Peter is commanding several things. iv. In fact, some commentators argue that each of these participles are commands. However, most agree that each of these participles are subordinate to the imperative commands of Peter. v. As we saw before the preparing of our mind and being vigilant directly related to setting our hope on the coming King and His Kingdom. vi. So, we can assume that the other two participles here have direct significance to the command he will give. vii. He begins all of this with the metaphor of being obedient children. viii. This metaphor governs the rest of this section through verse 16. ix. In verse 16, not to spoil anything, Peter relays a quote from Leviticus 19. It is a command of God. x. Essentially what Peter says in shorthand is “like obedient children, obey God.” xi. But how specifically? xii. Let's continue. b. [Slide 13] Do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, i. There are some curious things about this phrase. ii. First, it is in the negative. Something that should not be done. iii. Second, “conforming” is a participle with an ongoing aspect and has a yourself layer in it also. Meaning we could probably translate this “not conforming yourselves” iv. Third, this entire phrase is the indirect object of the sentence. This is how we know that the previous metaphor of obedient children is governing this whole section and not just this phrase. v. Grammatically, the thought cannot end here. vi. In fact, this is kind of a cross between a parenthetical expression and the other half of the command he is going to give. vii. So, stay tuned for that command. viii. But what does it mean for them to not conform themselves to the passions of their former ignorance? ix. Peter will definitely give more information on this later in the letter… but suffice it to say, it is the lifestyles they lived prior to God bringing them to spiritual life and showing them truth. x. Lifestyles of slavery to sin. xi. They cannot conform themselves again to the passions they had while not knowing the truth. xii. What else? c. [Slide 14] 15 – but as He who called you is holy i. In comes the second participle but it is quite interesting here. ii. It is not a participle that is toward Peter's audience but goes back to the center of our salvation… God Himself. iii. So, we might translate it “Just as the one who called you is holy.” d. [Slide 15] You also be holy in all your conduct i. So here is the command, but it is difficult to see. ii. It is to be or to become. iii. You must become. You yourself must become… what? iv. You must become holy in all your conduct. v. So let's analyze the participles and how they contribute to the verbs. 1. Not conforming to your former ignorant passions 2. Called by God vi. Without these two truths, it is impossible to be holy. vii. Without God's calling and without turning from your former passions, you cannot be holy. viii. One is mechanical and the other antithetical. 1. Without God's call, a person is not able to be holy. It is mechanically impossible. 2. Without turning from their former ignorant passions, one cannot hope to be holy since holiness necessitates purity. Holiness and the former passions are mutually exclusive. ix. So, we see how the participles serve the command, but what is the command? x. It is a command to become holy in conduct. When we see the term holiness it can apply in many different ways. God is holy, He is unique. We are holy in that we are set apart for a sacred service to God. It is probably due to this fluidity of the expression that Peter adds “in all your conduct” here. xi. He is not telling his audience to convert or be justified. He is not telling them to be consecrated to the Lord. Not only is that something that they cannot affect on their own, but it is also not the kind of holiness He has in mind. xii. Peter desires that his audience would be pure, set apart, and different in their lifestyles. That all that they do, say, and think, would be set apart. xiii. And God is the pattern for this. Just as the one who called you is holy, you also be holy. xiv. So, we are not set apart in our conduct in some vague way or to be simply weird or peculiar. Rather, this must mean morally upright. A law-keeper. xv. What does being a law-keeper have to do with this and how does it connect with being obedient children? e. [Slide 16] 16 – since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” i. The language of being like obedient children and the concept of being a morally upright law-keeper collide. ii. Peter quotes Leviticus 19:2. An interesting section to quote. It is not from the section of Leviticus devoted to the priests. It is not from sections devoted to ritualistic practice. It is from the moral law of God. iii. Indeed, the full quote of verse 2 is “Speak to the whole congregation of the Israelites and tell them, “You must be holy because I, the Lord your God, am holy.”” iv. Then in verse 3 and 4 he covers commandment 5, 4, and 2 in quick succession. v. It is obvious that Peter is not speaking about holiness ritualistically. He is speaking about holiness practically. Be morally upright! Be pure! vi. We know, that perfection in this life is not within our grasp. But we also love God's law and desire to keep it fully. When we fail, our payment has been made and it stokes our hearts to cry out to the Lord for mercy and grace. vii. But we should make no mistake. The destiny for ALL God's children. For all whom He has called. For All whom He has elected. For All whom He has given true faith… their destiny is to be holy in conduct. Imperfectly in this life, and perfectly in the new Kingdom. viii. That is why the grace to be given to us when Christ is revealed is so sweet. For we will finally, and fully, keep this command. f. [Slide 17] Passage Truth: Again, the Great God of our Great salvation takes center stage. He is the one who has called Peter and his audience out from darkness into light and He is the one who has provided the pattern for them to follow in holiness. g. [Slide 18] Passage Application: So they must live holy lives. Their conduct is to be completely different than the world around them. This should give them the resolve they need to continue to live differently – not the way they used to – even if that means ridicule and suspicion. h. [Slide 19] Broader Biblical Truth: And just like for Peter's audience, God is the center of our great salvation too. He has given us the standard to follow. First in His Word, written down for us thousands of years ago. His holy law given to us to observe and follow. To the extent that distancing ourselves from the truths of even the first page of the Old Testament is to cut off part of the pattern for us to follow. And to us blessed to be part of the New Covenant at these late stages, we have the pattern of holiness displayed for us in the life and death of our Lord Jesus Christ. All we have, all we are, is from God the triune. To Him be glory and honor forever and ever. Amen. i. [Slide 20] Broader Biblical Application: So then, CBC, we cannot go about merely praising the Lord for our great salvation. We cannot sit in our pews and merely marvel at the wonder of this redemption. We cannot simply secure our faith against all that may assault it. No, my friends – it is not sufficient to be a Christian in mind only. We must be a slave of Christ in our conduct also. Living holy lives that reflect the redemption that God has wrought upon us. The greatest amen to such a great salvation is not said with words, but lived. May we be holy as our God is holy. Conclusion: [Slide 21] And so, CBC, taking both commands of Peter, to set our hope in the future grace and to be holy, what might we draw from such a powerful and cumulative passage? First, we see clearly that the spiritual battle starts in our minds. Why do we continue to preach and teach the bible to one another? Why do we continue to talk about the gospel even though we are saved? Shouldn't we just have this information in our heads already? Why must we continually be reminded? For Peter's audience, and for us, the realities of our Great God and His central role in our Great Salvation are mostly invisible truths that we have received by True Faith. They are not baseless and there is so very little evidence that our faith is blind. But when the kingdom of darkness closes in, when troubles threaten to overtake us, when persecution befalls us, when life becomes a waking nightmare – we will need to have had a recent reminder of the Greatness of our God and His central role in our Great Salvation. We will need to have been prepared. Why do we preach Christ crucified still? Because friend, you may need these words someday that is not today. You may need to cling to the promises of a future grace in the revelation of Christ. That may be all you have… I am reading The Hiding Place right now. A story about Corrie Ten Boom, who lived in Holland during World War II. While she was hauled to prison for hiding Jews in her home, what do you think sustained her? What gave her strength? Was it Preachers telling her that she can have her best life now? Was it prophets declaring that today is the year of Jubilee where she will gain wealth through faith? Was it Pastors teaching messages about how she could use the power of positive thinking to chase away her problems? No. She had 1 copy of each gospel. She consumed them and noted how many evil, terrible, and wicked things befell the Son of God and His apostles. And she thought – if God was in control then, and His Son suffered this way according to God's plan, and it did not stop His Kingdom, indeed, it was even part of His Kingdom's coming… perhaps even her imprisonment was part of God's Kingdom continuing to work. My friends. Corrie Ten Boom's mind was prepared. It was vigilant. And she was prepared to set her hope on the God of her salvation. Not from a Nazi prison, but from this world and to His Kingdom. And I tell you, if we are not prepared thusly – we will crumble. That is why we preach Christ crucified. You will face horrors for the name of Christ. Prepare your minds! Be Vigilant! So that you can Set your hope on the future grace given to you when Christ is revealed. But my friends, the battle may start in our mind – but it doesn't end there. A celebrity pastor named Steven Furtick made the news this week for tweeting out this statement. [Slide 22] “Following Jesus doesn't change you into something else, it reveals who you've been all along. What would it be like to see the you that God sees…” Compare Peter's command to Steven Furtick's tweet. [Slide 23 (end)] As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, but just as He who called you is holy, be holy in all your conduct – since it is written “you shall be holy for I am holy” Do you see any contradiction there? Yeah… I wish I could say that this is the only statement Steven Furtick has made in recent history that contradicts the gospel – but he is known for this drivel. The saddest part is that his tweet received over 18,000 likes and over 2,500 shares. He is followed by almost 800,000 people and pastors one of the largest “churches” in the US. My friends God did not choose us in Christ before the foundation of the world according to the predetermination of His will, through the consecration of the Holy Spirit, to obey the gospel and be cleansed in Christ's blood, so that he could reveal who we've been all along. Christ did not die on the cross, was raised the third day, ascended to heaven, nor did God send divinely powered faith so that He could show us how He sees us already. The prophets did not marvel at the mystery of the new covenant that promised to polish our hearts of stone to reveal the beauty of the cold and dead heart we've always had. The gospel is good news because it creates a people of God who live to be holy like God is holy. We absolutely are saved to be different. And if following Jesus DOESN'T change you into a new creation… then you aren't following Jesus. We are not saved BY our works… but we are saved FOR works. You must be holy in your conduct. My friends that means you. There are two ways to endure coming hardship and persecution. These two ways existed for Peter's audience and they exist for us as well. You can either set your hope in the future grace given in Christ's revelation – or you can blend in with the world. No doubt Peter's audience was tempted to return to their former ways. It would be much easier that way. Peter says – like obedient children, obey God when He says, be holy. Which means of course that there is only 1 way to endure hardship. Set your hope on the future grace given to us when Christ is revealed, and until then, be holy as God is holy. Are you ready for that Christian?

Gimme a W! Gimme an O! Gimme a K! Gimme an E! What does it spell? DISASTER for the future of our country! Woke is everywhere and it has taken root most noticeably and intractably on higher education campuses: from public to private, from the lecture hall to varsity football. Grammatically challenged and ideologically- adulterated groupthink is a bully to be feared by dissenters -- including professors. But for every ten stories of attacks on the anti-establishment, there are a growing number of students speaking out and even suing. On this special, the College Fix's Jennifer Kabbany, talk show host Charles Love, and attorney Kimberly Hermann join Jesse Kelly to audit Woke University -- and talk about how to give Woke a failing grade. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

Gimme a W! Gimme an O! Gimme a K! Gimme an E! What does it spell? DISASTER for the future of our country! Woke is everywhere and it has taken root most noticeably and intractably on higher education campuses: from public to private, from the lecture hall to varsity football. Grammatically challenged and ideologically- adulterated groupthink is a bully to be feared by dissenters -- including professors. But for every ten stories of attacks on the anti-establishment, there are a growing number of students speaking out and even suing. On this special, the College Fix's Jennifer Kabbany, talk show host Charles Love, and attorney Kimberly Hermann join Jesse Kelly to audit Woke University -- and talk about how to give Woke a failing grade. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

Gimme a W! Gimme an O! Gimme a K! Gimme an E! What does it spell? DISASTER for the future of our country! Woke is everywhere and it has taken root most noticeably and intractably on higher education campuses: from public to private, from the lecture hall to varsity football. Grammatically challenged and ideologically- adulterated groupthink is a bully to be feared by dissenters -- including professors. But for every ten stories of attacks on the anti-establishment, there are a growing number of students speaking out and even suing. On this special, the College Fix's Jennifer Kabbany, talk show host Charles Love, and attorney Kimberly Hermann join Jesse Kelly to audit Woke University -- and talk about how to give Woke a failing grade. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

Almost half a year, creation for creation's sake, and depictions of being an “artist.” Content, curated, sharing, and expression. Art doesn't need to be overthought. Insecurity, your vision, and the way you see the world. Humans, evolving and adapting, and expression as a conduit of becoming. You can handle anything that comes your way and the radical reminder that you are not a robot.

IntroductionMy house was built 30 years ago; the original roof was shot. Every windstorm that came along, more and more shingles went missing. That big windstorm this spring really did a number on it. So in my mind, I knew that for sure it needed to happen this spring. I've replaced several roofs in my life and so I was planning on doing the work myself. But, let me just tell you, that kind of work is not easy and I was dreading it; I have been psyching myself up all winter to put in a series of grueling 14 hour days and just knock it out. But I was dreading it - like DREADING it.Well, we live next to a park and a roofer who was at the park with his daughter could see the obviously dilapidated condition of the roof. And he said, I think we can get you a claim on that roof. And I said, “There's no way. The roof is 30 years old. There's nothing wrong with the roof. The reason it's failing is because it's 30 years old.” And he said, “No. I think we can get you a claim.”And so he got on the phone with me with the insurance company and he advocated for me and the adjuster came out and that same day I had a check in my hand for the full amount of my roof. And so this week the roofers came out and this team of guys stripped my roof and finished it in two days.And I was in my house listening to them work and if you've experienced this, it is so incredibly loud! My kids were covering their ears and asking when it will stop. My reaction was totally opposite. It was a symphony to my ears. Every nail that went into that decking was a nail I didn't have to pound. Every drop of sweat that fell onto that roof was a drop of sweat that didn't come from me. The sun that baked down on them wasn't baking down on me.I probably said to my wife Lisa 30 times that day, “I am so thankful. I am so, so thankful that someone else is doing that work. Man, I am so thankful.” I just kept saying it all day long.Well, the goal of the message today is to walk away with a similar thankfulness for what Christ did on the cross for us. Because our sin deserves punishment. It deserves judgment. And without Christ, there's this dread that just hangs out there. We deserve the nails of the cross. Justice demands that we put in the work to atone for our sin. It is our bodies that deserve to sweat and suffer and bleed.And then this undeserved, unexpected spiritual claim is awarded. And we are told that even though there's no rational explanation for why it should be so, Jesus Christ took the nails for us. It was his sweat and his blood that fell from the cross, not ours.And today is communion Sunday, and I just want the reaction of the soul to be SONG. Just music. We need to understand how truly liberating it is to be absolutely forgiven and to not have to live under the penalty and condemnation of sin. It really does change everything.Now for the text to do it's work we need to connect it to last week. Last week Benj did an amazing job of giving us the background of this giant torch lighting ceremony that took place as part of the festival of booths.You remember he showed us these four giant torches that were lit. And you might think, well that seems pretty spectacular; it would have been. But it was spectacular for a reason. You remember, the whole point of the feast was to remember their wilderness wanderings. And so these giant pillars were to remember the way that God manifested himself in the desert - a cloud by day and a giant pillar of fire by night. God himself became for them a giant torch to lead them in the pitch black desert darkness.We live in an age of electric lights, but imagine stumbling around in the darkness of Sinai without a sliver of light. You'd be stubbing your toe on rocks and bleeding as you fell into a cactus. You'd get all hurt. You need light. God LITERALLY became for them the light. This was what theologians call a theophany. This is where God takes on a physical manifestation. God manifested himself, embodied himself as LIGHT. That's what they are remembering.So it was in this remembrance feast context that Jesus makes this giant claim, “I am the light of the world.” So there is clearly a JEWISH backdrop against which Jesus says these words.The Greek ContextBut there is a Greek and Roman context as well. It's important to remember that the book of John was written from Ephesus and the audience would have been both Jews and Gentiles. And Jesus' words, “I am the light of the world,” to an educated Roman mind would conjure to mind something very definite. Plato's Republic was studied by virtually all educated men. And he has this famous analogy of the sun. Here's how it goes:Plato observed something unique about the senses. He observed for the senses to work all you need is the sense itself and the object being sensed. So for example, in order to experience taste you need the sense of taste and something to taste, like a peach. You only need those two things.That's true for all the senses except one. The sense of vision is different. A person can have eyes that are capable of seeing (you can possess perfect 20/20 vision), and you can have before you a beautiful boquet of flowers exploding with all sorts of colors but you will never see the color until you have what? Light. You need something specifically made for the purpose of illuminating….light. So vision is unique in that manner.Now Plato uses that observation as an analogy for how we are to arrive at the nature of reality. Here's what Plato says. He taught that in order to understand the nature of reality we three things. We need to have a working mind; we need to have reality. But we also need this third thing to illuminate our minds and he calls it goodness.Let me give you a visual and read it again:So just as the sun makes objects visible to the eye through the power of sight by providing light so the good makes reality intelligible to the soul through the power of understanding by providing truth.So Plato recognized that this extra thing called “Goodness” that existed objectively outside of self was necessary to understand truth. “The Goodness” was the LIGHT. We need an objective goodness which transcends our being to shine on our minds and orient us.So think now about how the words of Jesus would have been received, in a Greek mind, when Jesus opens his mouth and says “I am the light of the cosmos,” what do they hear? “I am the key and without me, you understand nothing.”In John 8, Jesus isn't talking to Greeks; he's talking to Jews. But certainly these Jews know the Greek worldview. The reason I mention it is because whether Jesus intentionally relates it to this worldview or not, the concept is obviously present.Here's how he begins today: If light is goodness and if light goes away what are you left with? Sin.Jesus as the light is going away. And what are you left with if the light goes away. You are left with darkness. Sin in the Bible is always pictured as darkness. Jesus says if I go away, you will be left in the inky black darkness of your sin. You are left with the painful, bitter, emptiness of you. If the light of the world leaves you then all you have is you. You will die in your sin.Now of course they don't understand what he is saying.The Jews think he's talking about suicide. Is he going to kill himself? The fact that they are entertaining this as an interpretation of his words tells you just how bizarre and strange this must have felt. So the Jews are hearing this talk about him going away. He's claiming to be from above. And then he says, “Unless you believe in me, you will die in your sins.” I mean if you heard these things, you would think the person talking to you was unstable.Now look at response of the Jews after this. And I think you have to imagine the tone here.Now, we will explain in just a moment why they are so stunned and bewildered. There is a very good reason why this mystified tone is justified.Jesus is going to give two answers to their question. And the first answer Jesus gives to this question:Jesus claims to be the LIGHT who comes down from above. He says, “I am from above and you are from below.” Now in our minds that means Jesus is from heaven and they are from hell. But that's not what he means. If you are in heaven what is below? I am come down from heaven and you below…. you are from earth. We know this is the interpretation because he says you are of this world (meaning below) and I am not from this world (meaning above).And he's making this point to establish authority. As the one who comes down from above, I am in the position to judge sin. The one from above has the authority to say this is right and this is wrong. In fact this is exactly what he says next.What is he claiming? He's claiming that since he has come down from heaven, he has authority to judge. When Jesus says he is the LIGHT of the world, there's an aspect of judgment connected to that claim. LIGHT and judgment are connected concepts.Who are you? Jesus says, “I am the light of the world.” He's already told them this. Remember back in chapter 3.You see, the problem is the light reveals the sin. He's a consuming fire. The closer you get to absolute perfection, the more you get burned. You have to hide in the cleft of the rock or you'll be incinerated. The more you realize just how filthy you are. Proximity to the white-hot holiness of God pulverizes us into dust. It's the cry of Isaiah, “Woe to me for I am ruined.” And men loved the darkness because their deeds are evil. Light has this unfortunate dual quality. The light results in both guidance and guilt. It shines and shames.All men find themselves in this love hate relationship with the light. Yes it illuminates, it guides, but it is also a massive problem because it reveals. Into those closed, hidden chambers of the heart that we once thought perfectly sealed away, in comes the streaming light and we are horror stricken.And so we find ourselves in desperate need of some of what the light offers and in abject fear of the other part of what the light offers.And we want to parse out the properties of light. We all want the characteristic of light that guides but we don't want that characteristic of light that reveals. So what do we do? What's the solution?Jesus claims to be the judge that reveals the problem and the savior who solves the problem. Where do we get this point?This is what Jesus is saying: “It's so audacious. If you do not believe in me, you will ABSOLUTELY, most CERTAINLY die in your sins.” The assumption, of course, is that the only possibility of escape lies in genuine belief. In this condition of BELIEF, men and women will not die in their sins.Notice he says “you will die” twice; the first time he says you will die in your sin [not plural] and the second time he says you will die in your sins (plural). The singular in verse 21 refers to the one sin of unbelief. And that one sin of unbelief mushrooms into the diverse and ugly forms of corruption that we see infesting the human heart.So unless you believe that Jesus is the light of the world, you will die in your sins. And you may think to yourself, it seems to be that coming to the light of the world, coming to the judge of all the earth, coming before the white hot heat of the presence of absolute holiness, it seems that this will reveal my sin and consume me. How is coming into the light going to fix the problem? I'd rather stay in the darkness.And you know what the answer is. It's incredible. It's so shocking. There's a very specific moment when the answer to this question is revealed.Here's what Jesus says, “You want to know how it can be that the judge is the justifier? You want to know how it can be that coming into the light can save you? You'll find the answer when you crucify me.” He says this incredible sentence: “When you lift up the Son of Man then you will know that I am he.” There's two very noteworthy things about that sentence.First of all, do you remember the title son of man? That's Jesus' favorite title for himself. Do you remember where that comes from? It comes from Daniel 7 where Daniel has a vision of a promised messiah/deliverer coming on the clouds of heaven. That messianic figure is identified as the “son of man” and he's given dominion and glory and a kingdom and people worship him. So Jesus is taking this title to himself. So that's the first significant thing. When you lift the son of man (this promised messianic deliverer) up you will then know that I am he.That's the first noteworthy thing about what Jesus says. But here's the second. Pay attention here. In order to make our second point we need to back up to verse 24. In verse 24, “Jesus says unless you believe that I am he you will die in your sins.”Now the ESV translates it, “I am he.” The word “he” is not in the Greek. (ἐγώ εἰμι) It's supplied by the translators.And that same thing happens again in verse 28.It says, “You will know that I AM he…” But again, that's not what the Greek says. The Greek simply says, when you have lifted up the son of man, you will know that I AM (ἐγώ εἰμι).Now the fact the object is not included is very significant. Here's why.The phrase has a bit of ambiguity to it. The phrase by itself needs context to be understood. It's the same in English. For example, if you are in a group of people and you ask, “Whose going to the BSU game tonight?” Someone might say, “I am.” ἐγώ εἰμι (egō eimi). That would make perfect sense. Your mind supplies the object automatically. Even though you only said, “I am,” you know that what he meant was, “I am going to the BSU game.” We are lazy and it's a language shortcut.But if I were to say, “Have you seen the latest Marvel movie? I think when you see it, you'll agree, I am.” ἐγώ εἰμι (egō eimi). That's not clear. It leaves you hanging. Finish your sentence. I am what? The object is definitely not clear.Well that's exactly what's going on here. Grammatically it's totally unclear what he's referring to. When you have lifted up the son of man, you will know that I am.Now to the Jewish ear that's not just ambiguous, that's DANGEROUSLY ambiguous. Why? Because ἐγώ εἰμι (egō eimi) without an object does mean something. Without an object, this is the name of God. All through the OT, in Ex 3, Deut 29, but especially in Isaiah 40-45 this is the name of God.In all these examples, the Greek translation of the OT (LXX) has this exact phrase, ἐγώ εἰμι (egō eimi).So when Jesus says to them, “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am (ego eimi)” what is he saying? It's a play on words. When you lift up the Son of Man, you will know that I AM he. I am the light of the world. I am the Son of Man. But it also could mean, when you lift up the Son of Man (Jesus) you will know that I am (God). When you lift up the promised Messiah you will realize that the one you have crucified, is in fact, the great I AM. It is God himself who has been lifted up.The light has been lifted up to the height.Do you see how significant that is. Do you see it? The Jewish Light is the Greek goodness. The light is the goodness. The goodness is the light. It's one in the same. God is the light. The Messiah is God. The Light judges and his goodness saves.The Jew understood that the light was problematic in that it both simultaneously illuminates and exposes. It results in both guidance and guilt. It both shines and shames. The light burns us. It's heat is too much. We cannot approach it's white hot holiness. The white hot perfect light of God reveals that all we deserve is judgment.And what the cross revealed was that the judge became the justifier. The one who reveals the sin is also the one who pays for the sin so that he can forgive the sin. The judge became the savior. The one who knew no sin, became sin that we might become the righteousness of God. The great goodness was lifted up and illuminated the minds and hearts of men to see that GOD DIED FOR US.The ImplicationsOkay, there are implications folks. I want to return to my roof analogy that I began with. I know this was my experience but I hope you can enter into it with me. Now, I need you to believe me that I was seriously dreading that roof project. I mean real dread. As in I'd rather walk to New York kind of dread.There was about a two month period of time between when the claim was awarded and the work was complete. The check was signed. The money was in the bank. It was as good as done but the actual work had not been done.Let me ask you, when do you think my relief kicked in? When I got the check or when the roof went on? As soon as I received that check, my dread dissolved. My worries flew out the window. How silly it would have been to continue dreading the roof project when the check insured that I would not have to do the work.Listen, we as Christians live between the check and the new roof. Jesus' death on the cross secures our heavenly roof. But we live in the leaky, broken down, earthly tabernacles. Like the children of Israel, we live in these temporary booths that are full of holes. But we have an advocate who went to the Father and the claim was paid out.Stop living as if your righteousness depends on you. Stop living in dread that you are going to have to somehow do the work to pay the penalty for your sins. Another took the nails for you. Another sweated great drops of blood in your place. And when you see Jesus on the cross, when you hear those nails, when you see those drops of sweat and blood, know it is for you!The gospel is like sitting in the safety of your house listening to the roar of the roofers and know that the price has been paid so you don't have to do the work.If that is the case, stop judging one another and stop judging yourself based on performance. In other words stop believing that you have to do the work. Christ has done the work. Christ has paid it all. Your work is to receive his finished work.The reason our world is such a mess right now is because without the light all we are left with is self. Isn't that what Jesus said, “If I go away, you will be left in darkness and die in your sins.” And yes it's true, when the light goes away, God is not present to expose the sin, but now it's up to you to achieve your own righteousness. That's why the world is in the condition it's in right now. We live in a world that expects you to be perfect. And if you are not perfect, you are out. And it's up to you to atone for your sins.Listen, the church is the opposite of that. The gospel is a message that is opposite. We are going to fail, hurt each others feelings, mess up and the righteous will stumble. The world wants to make you pay for that. Atone for your transgression. But Christ has already paid. The check is in the bank. Our sins they are many his mercy is more. Come to the throne room of grace where he is faithful and just to forgive your sins.If you feel tired, broken and weary of sin, then you are in good company. Welcome to a community of beggars who have been redeemed. Welcome to the community of bankrupt sinners who receive and receive sweet mercy from Jesus Christ.CommunionNow we come to communion. Guilt says, “Be gone you wretch. Get out of this place you filthy animal. People like you don't belong here.”Jesus says, “Come. Come and I will give you rest. I love you. I bore the blame. It is finished. Come.”Guilt says, “If only they knew who you really are, they would have nothing to do with you.”Jesus says, “I know exactly who you are. I see it all. The light of the world has flooded your heart and I see it all. And the good of the world has taken it all on him. He's washed you white as snow. And I have given you my righteousness. I both know you and love you. Enter into the joy of my master.”Guilt clings tightly to your side. They are not easily shooed away. Guild accuses you of your lack of worth, reminds you of all your sin and its horror, reminds you of how shamed you'd be if everyone knew.Jesus says, “My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness. Grace is greater than your sin. I see more than you even remember and I forgive it all. Let me receive the nails. Let me sweat. Let me bleed for you. And rest knowing that I paid it all. And because it's paid it's removed as far as the East is from the West.”There's an old hymn that has this epic line,“May the accuser roar of sins that I have done. I know them all and thousands more, Jehovah knoweth none.”

H2, S2 - Grammatically Correct Texts 04/27/2021

Title: Gospel Shaped Lives Part 1 Text: Titus 2:1-8 FCF: We often struggle discipling others Prop: Because the gospel changes the behavior of those who have received it, we must generationally make disciples. Scripture Intro: NET [Slide 1] Turn in your bible to Titus 2. Having explained the true gospel from its opposite, and having shown the failure of the false teachers in Crete and the great need for qualified men to help refute them – Now Paul turns to Titus and tells him to teach the people. What follows is a hard hitting, come out swinging, difficult to swallow exposition of what behavior goes with the gospel and how that message is delivered down through the church. As one expositor said, if you can’t say amen, you better say ouch. This may be an ouch kind of message. I am in Titus 2 starting in verse 1. I am reading from the NET which you can follow on page 1345 in the pew bible or in whatever version you have. Transition: There is a lot here, and really this is only 2/3 of what Paul is saying in this section, hence the two-part message. So, let’s get to it. I.) The gospel changes the behavior of those who have received it, so we must teach behavior that corresponds to the gospel. (1-3) a. [Slide 2] 1 – But as for you, communicate the behavior that goes with sound teaching, i. Paul’s primary critique of the false teachers is that they say they understand who God is, they are privy to secret knowledge that has propelled them beyond the rudimentary teachings of the gospel… but the fact remains that they have not stayed in the truth. This is demonstrated by their lifestyles of self-righteousness, added laws, and sinful practice. ii. This still happens today. People who seem to be the best at knowing God, oftentimes set themselves up as especially devout, adding extra laws to show how serious they are while simultaneously failing to keep the clear laws God does give. They put emphasis on tangential teaching or disputes over things that are unclear rather than the firm and healthy teaching. iii. We’ve seen this in Ravi Zacharias. We’ve seen this in Hillsong’s ministry. We’ve seen this is Joshua Harris. We’ve seen this countless musical artists and publicly recognized Christians and Christian leaders. The formula continues to repeat. iv. That is why Paul’s words here to Titus cannot be glossed over. They cannot be under appreciated. They cannot be emphasized enough. v. As for you Titus. When all others crumble. When all others fail. When all others leave the truth. As for you Titus. vi. Communicate the behavior that goes with sound teaching. But what does that mean? First, what does it mean to communicate behavior? Second what is behavior that goes with sound teaching? 1. First, the word behavior does not actually exist in the text. The NET adds this to help explain where Paul is going. 2. Paul desires that Titus, contrasted to the silencing of the opponents, should speak what goes with or corresponds to sound teaching. 3. What is clear, as Paul continues, is that which must be spoken, which corresponds to sound teaching, is obedience to Christ. A life changed by the power of the gospel. b. [Slide 3] 2 – Older men are to be temperate i. So first, interpretationally, we have to recognize that the first word is presbytery or Elder. So, the question must be, is Paul referring to the office of Elder or to older men? ii. As is almost always the case, context helps us here. 1. There is no indication that Paul is introducing further qualifications or roles for Elders. 2. Paul speaks of female elders in verse 3, which if taken as an office would contradict much of what Paul has said about their exercising authority. 3. Young women and young men are mentioned in the context as well. iii. What is obvious is that Paul is expressing truth toward age groups. In that case, we know that this is not talking about Elders, but rather older men in the church. iv. As an interesting point of clarification, and what I will attempt to prove later in the sermon, is that I believe Titus to be one of these older men. 1. We cannot know for sure the age of Titus. In fact, we raised this question in a recent Wednesday night bible study. 2. However, given the number of clues in this passage, and the length of time Titus has been with Paul, I conclude that Titus is probably an older man at this stage. Perhaps even older than Paul. v. That may be why Paul goes directly from telling Titus to speak of behavior that is fitting to sound teaching to explaining what that behavior is in an older man. vi. The first of these is to be temperate. To be temperate is to be sober and vigilant. It is to be watchful. It is to be on guard. Able to see anything that is amiss. c. [Slide 4] Dignified i. This means that there is a certain seriousness about these men. ii. They are not young men trapped in aging bodies. They don’t succumb to flights of fancy and toys. They recognize that they are older and that life is not for playing all the time. d. [Slide 5] Self-controlled i. They are conscience of the time they have left on the earth. ii. They are not preoccupied with addiction to any substance, practice, or experience. iii. Rather they are in control of their thoughts, actions, finances, and practices. e. [Slide 6] Sound in faith, in love, and in endurance. i. Their faith, love and endurance are healthy. ii. Their bodies may yet be failing, but their spirit is more vibrant than it has ever been. iii. They should be entering their spiritual prime as they are used to being pressed into the mold of Christ. They have clung to their faith through many difficulties and stages in life. iv. Their confession of truth and the doctrines to which they cling should be all the more solid and healthy. v. Their love expressed toward God and other believers should be Christlike and often given. vi. Their endurance and patience in trouble and trial should be consistently trusting of God and His sovereignty. vii. Such should be the behavior that flows from sound doctrine for older men. viii. However, their list is not quite done. I’ll explain what I mean toward the end. Just keep it in the back of your mind. f. [Slide 7] 3 – Older women likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy i. So, we see a direct parallel here between older men and older women. ii. Their behavior also must conform to a certain standard. The standard is holiness. iii. All who receive sound teaching by God’s grace, have been set apart as a holy people unto God. Therefore, the source of this lifestyle of an older woman is still sound teaching but specifically that they have been marked out by God for His purposes. iv. In essence this changes the trajectory of their entire lives. v. How specifically? g. [Slide 8] Not slandering i. If an older woman is to be set apart for a Divine purpose, they certainly cannot be malicious gossips going about spreading lies or truth in an effort to destroy other people. ii. They cannot be busy-bodies flitting from house to house saying “have you heard about…” h. [Slide 9] Not slaves to excessive drinking i. Drunkenness is appalling whenever we discover it. Being a slave to alcohol, or any substance is truly devastating. But there is something about this particular slavery when applied older people, that is particularly pitiful and reprehensible. ii. It is not how women set apart for a divine purpose should behave. iii. As a side note: It is interesting that Paul does not have one negative attribute to list with regard to Older men. All of them are positive attributes that ought to come from sound teaching, but for older women there are two negative characteristics that cannot go along with holiness. iv. Perhaps Cretan women struggled with these in their old age. Either becoming bored or lacking vigilance, they become drunks and gossips. v. I wish I could say that it was only Cretan women to which this applied – but I think the temptation endures even to today for older women. i. [Slide 10] But teaching what is good. i. And here is the only positive expression of holiness that Paul lists for Older Women. ii. That doesn’t, of course, mean that this is an exhaustive list. In fact, we will see a secret list for older women and older men in a few minutes. But for now, we’ll go with this. iii. The ladies have gotten bored and become gossips and drunks. iv. Instead, they should be using their time to demonstrate in word and deed what is good. v. And what is good? vi. God being the very definition of good – we can just as easily supply the words: godly or Christlike. vii. They ought not be bored. They have so much to teach. They have plenty to demonstrate. viii. This teaching is directed at a particular target which we will address next, but for now let’s review what we’ve seen so far. j. [Slide 11] Passage Truth: Paul illustrates exactly what kind of behavior should flow from healthy doctrine. In a word, holy. k. Passage Application: So, Titus must speak these things to the Cretans. He must utter these behavioral standards and connect them to the gospel from which they flow. l. [Slide 12] Broader Biblical Truth: Zooming out from this text, we know… WE KNOW – that Christians are changed irrevocably by the grace of God. How can we not be? Almost every book of the bible speaks to God’s desire for His people to be set apart. To be different. And in the New Covenant – God supplies a new heart capable of doing what He desires. m. Broader Biblical Application: So at CBC we ought also to teach these behaviors. To demand that they be practiced among us. Why? Because they are the natural outflowing of a person who has experienced the grace of God. There can be no doubt, older men and women, those who have had time to grow in their faith, should be people who are like Christ. They should be examples. They should be mentors. Indeed, it is not out of turn for me, a young man, to demand that the older men and women in this church, be these kinds of people. You must be these kinds of people. Transition: [Slide 13(blank)] And of course, if they are to be examples and mentors, we must ask who they are to mentor. Who are they to guide? II.) The gospel changes the behavior of those who have received it, so we must pass on what we have learned to the next generation. (4-8) a. [Slide 14] 4 – In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands i. Grammatically speaking there is no real ambiguity here. The ones teaching are the older women. ii. Why is it so important for them to be non-slandering, non-drunk, teachers of good? iii. They have a generational imperative to teach younger women. iv. Can older men teach younger women? Of course! But most naturally this falls to older women. v. If an older woman is set apart for holiness, not slandering or drunk, but a teacher of good – she is going to teach younger women a few things about life. This then is the secret list for older women. Because if you are not modeling these, then you cannot teach them. vi. So Older women must teach younger women by example, how to love their husbands. But we need to break this word down a little to catch all that is being said here. vii. Love their husbands is actually 1 compound word in Greek. 1. Love – of a brotherly, friendly, or fondness kind. 2. Man – or contextually husband. viii. This word is also not a verb. In our reading it seems like it is… but in actuality it is an adjective. ix. Older women are to teach younger women how to be husband-lovers. And if I can take the liberty… how to be husband-likers. x. This is certainly love – but less of duty and more of covenant and commitment. It is bonded love. xi. Older women ought to be teaching and demonstrating to younger women how to like, appreciate, befriend, and otherwise selflessly support their husbands. xii. Do young women need this today? You better believe it. But here is the harder question… Are there any older women who can teach it? b. [Slide 15] To love their children i. In the same way, Older women ought to teach and demonstrate how younger women ought to be children LIKERS. ii. This does not negate a parent’s role in authority. We are not saying that parents should befriend their children. Nor are the older women imposing a laxer standard. iii. But kindness, fondness toward one’s own children ought to be taught and demonstrated. iv. Oftentimes young mothers can see their children as enemies, even hell-raisers

B.O.S.S. MOVE

In this episode we look at what is called the grammatico-historical method of interpretation. It is something you will run across when reading certain Christian literature. This episode will give you a very brief description of what it is, so that you can better understand what those authors are talking about. Our acronym is TGC. Time (language changes over time), Grammatically rules apply, and Cultural Context.

Black women remain subjects who must recite power to have any power even though the power of the reciter is never the power of the subject who originates the lines to be recited.  Amidst the praise that critics have rightfully heaped upon “The Hill We Climb” since January 6, only a few critics, mostly Black women, have noticed how her language testifies to American slavery, 1619-present. For example, Gorman’s opening lines contain several middle passage metaphors, including “the loss we carry,” “a sea we must wade,” and “the belly of the beast.” Middle passage metaphors keep alive in language the memory of the ships that slaughtered most of the stolen Africans they trafficked to America for centuries. Critics have overlooked or misunderstood these lines because middle passage metaphors aren’t taught in “classic” education. Gorman also writes: “we the successors of a country and a time where a skinny Black girl descended from slaves and raised by a single mother can dream of becoming president only to find herself reciting for one.” “She imagined, she wrote, a country and a time,” summarizes a critic for The New York Times. But Gorman isn’t imagining. Gorman is testifying to her reality in two registers. In one register, it is wonderful that a Black girl is reciting for the president. But in the second register, that girl cannot be president. In the first register, she stands next to the first Black woman Vice President in American history. But in the second register, that Black woman can only be Vice President. One signal that Gorman is speaking in two registers is the missing verb between “we” and “the successors.” Grammatically, the passage should read, “we are the successors.” But it does not. Because the verb, the action, is missing. America is not acting on its promise of equality. Another signal is the phrase “only to find,” which Gorman inserts between her dream of becoming president and her reality of only reciting for one. The phrase “only to,” as in, “I awoke, only to find,” expresses surprise and disappointment. Gorman is surprised and disappointed that the country that tells her she can be anything she wants to be is also the country that ensures she can only recite. Recitation is simply to repeat out loud. Gorman demonstrated in “The Hill We Climb” that she is uniquely skilled at using language that speaks to two audiences simultaneously: those who want to fight for true abolition and those who want to whitewash America’s ongoing enslavement of Black citizens. It’s unfair that Black speakers have to accomplish this sophisticated code-switching to get a national audience. But it’s also a testament to the artful skill of Amanda Gorman. Resources used in this episode: WATCH: Amanda Gorman reads inauguration poem, 'The Hill We Climb' Top 100 Speeches of the 20th Century by Rank All the Poetry That's Fit to Print Opinion: Amanda Gorman reminded America what poetry can do Amanda Gorman at Biden's inauguration reminded me: politics needs poetry America Wasn’t a Democracy, Until Black Americans Made It One At the Inauguration, Amanda Gorman Wove History and the Future Into a Stirring Melody Becoming Human: Matter and Meaning in an Antiblack World The Cancer Journals by Audre Lorde: 9780143135203 | PenguinRandomHouse.com: Books Amanda Gorman Captures the Moment in “The Hill We Climb” Amanda Gorman was let down by a terrible poem Kamala Harris's Ascent Doesn't Mean Progress for Black Women Read the blog version: https://rhetoriclee.com/the-whitewashing-of-amanda-gorman/ *Learn more at https://rhetoriclee.com  *Follow the show on Facebook and on Instagram @rhetoriclee for more teasers, highlights, and awesome graphics *Don’t miss an episode. Subscribe on iTunes/Apple Podcasts, on Google Podcasts, on Stitcher, on Youtube, on Spotify, or via RSS.  *Take 20 seconds to leave a short review and 5 star-rating (I’ll even take 4 stars, I’m not greedy). Reviews help future #rhetoricnerds find the show! *Have mixed feelings about the show or think I may have stepped in it? Let’s discuss on social media or at rhetoriclee@gmail.com. 

Sure, sharks can bite real good, but can they commit affronts to God? After a brief break the boys are back to waste your time for a whole hour! Jeremy tackles the age old battle of arms vs. flippers in an aquatic-themed war for world domination. Oh, and John talks for an uncomfortable amount of time about milk. Got a question that needs answers? Email the boys at BoysOnTheCase@gmail.com Send us a question on our Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/boysonthecase Music: "These Boys are on the Case" by Jeremy K. Sources - How smart are dolphins? - Lori Marino: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05PpTqtGhGU How Do Dolphins Sleep?: https://us.whales.org/whales-dolphins/how-do-dolphins-sleep/ Top 10 Smartest Animals: https://animals.howstuffworks.com/animal-facts/10-smartest-animals.htm#pt9 Let us finally resolve the octopuses v. octopi debate: https://qz.com/1446229/let-us-finally-resolve-the-octopuses-v-octopi-debate/#:~:text=Let%20us%20finally%20resolve%20the%20octopuses%20v.&text=Grammatically%20speaking%2C%20the%20plural%20for,in%20modern%20usage%2C%20it's%20wrong. Octopuses Are Ridiculously Smart: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOV-DlxTiFU Paul the Octopus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_the_Octopus Food Fight: So, What Is 'Milk'?: https://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/news/20180730/food-fight-so-what-is-milk Online: Etymology Dictionary: Milk: https://www.etymonline.com/word/milk#etymonline_v_16158 Electronic Code of Federal Regulations: https://www.ecfr.gov/cgi-bin/text-idx?SID=3367f96c056971f31c7b75bcac9de83b&mc=true&node=se21.2.131_1110&rgn=div8 Milky Matters - Buffalo and Goat milk: https://www.foodsmatter.com/allergy_intolerance/goat_sheep_milks/articles/buffalo_goat.html#:~:text=In%20taste%20terms%20buffalo%20milk,%2C%20creamy%2C%20smooth%20and%20mild Goat and sheep's milk vs. cow's milk: what are the differences and benefits?: https://www.farmdrop.com/blog/goat-sheep-milk-vs-cows-milk-difference-benefits/ Camel Milk Nutrition: https://desertfarms.com/pages/nutrition Mare's Milk For Health? Europeans Look To Horses For Ancient Remedy: https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2018/07/12/627454097/mares-milk-for-health-europeans-look-to-horses-for-ancient-remedy#:~:text=It%20is%20high%20in%20vitamin,nutty%20flavor%2C%20like%20almond%20milk. What Does Horse Milk Taste Like?: https://mongoliafaq.com/2018/10/30/what-does-horse-milk-taste-like/ What Does Breast Milk Taste Like? You Asked, We Answered (and More): https://www.healthline.com/health/what-does-breast-milk-taste-like#TOC_TITLE_HDR_1

Grammatically speaking, this one will make you feel good. Written by Garin JonesSound Design by Dan BealPerformed by Ryne McCormickFollow us on Twitter

1 Thessalonians 5:19-22 Don’t Neglect Prophecy Grab your Bibles and turn with me to 1 Thessalonians 5. 1 Thessalonians 5. This section is short that we are taking on this week. We will Lord willing pick up our pace again and take bigger chunks, but this topic is tough to handle briefly and so we’re gonna take a whole sermon to look at vv. 19-22. The apostle Paul writing to the church of Jesus Christ at Thessalonica says: 1 Thessalonians 5:19–22 (ESV) 19 Do not quench the Spirit. 20 Do not despise prophecies, 21 but test everything; hold fast what is good. 22 Abstain from every form of evil. Five instructions. Depending upon your interpretation of this passage they are either all interconnected, similar to our instructions last week on inner-life attitudes of joy and prayer and thanksgiving before God. These are either all relating to the issue of the ministry of the Holy Spirit in the church through the prophetic word. Or, vv. 19, 21 and 22 are spiritual encouragements about living a godly life and v. 20 is the only verse that deals with prophecy. At the risk of testing your patience by repeating myself ad nauseam, I’m going to re-iterate a presupposition for interpreting the Bible. Do not approach the Scriptures with a conclusion and then attempt to prove it from the text. Do not approach the Scriptures with a conclusion and then attempt to prove it from the text. A good indicator that you need to watch yourself is when you read a text and it makes you feel a bit of discomfort because it doesn’t appear to line up with your beliefs. At that moment you can either begin to reinforce your perspective through what is known as confirmation bias—where you weight the data that you like, and you dismiss the data you don’t. You start out to disprove the other side rather than first objectively looking at the data. In the process you miss out on being shaped by truth and having your theology refined. So, we come to this passage and it deals with prophecy. Just for fun, here’s the basic ways this passage is approached, embellished for illustrative purposes. The prophecy avoider. Talking about prophecy is alarming because it is dangerous. They come to a passage like this and get hit with the prophecy dumbstick. Prophecy? What prophecy? This passage isn’t really about prophecy. And even if it was, we all know that prophecy is just preaching. This passage means don’t disregard preaching the written word and don’t disregard the written scriptures. Move right along. Nothing to see here folks (MacArthur, The prophecy accepters. Prophecy is an ongoing ministry of the Spirit in the church today. And in fact, this is proof positive that prophetic haters will exist in the church, they will despise prophecy and they shouldn’t. This also gives us the manner by which we test prophecy in the church and keep the good stuff and reject the bad. This passage validates a new category of prophecy that may or may not be true (Wayne Grudem, John Piper, D. A. Carson, Sam Storms, C.J. Mahaney). Called the “open-but-cautious” view. We just need to figure out what it meant to this church, and then we can figure out how to draw out the timeless implications for us. As you know, Paul has been dealing with how to strengthen the church and make it healthy. He is giving instructions on preventative maintenance to the body. It’s akin to a well-doctor visit where you don’t have any major ailments (at this time there are no major doctrinal issues in Thessalonica, no major moral issues) so these are instructions for how to stay healthy. Love and honor your leaders (12-13). Shepherds bear a burden of the care of your souls before God and give an account. Understand the burden. Pray for them. Satan loves to divide sheep and shepherds because it undermines ministry. This is a preventative. Minister to the strugglers (14-15). The church is a hospital, not for the healthy but the sick. God chooses the weak and not the strong. We are to help each other without favoritism. A call to be in one another’s lives and take spiritual responsibility for others. Humble, dependent relationship with Christ (16-18). The Christian life is to be one of great joy and peace and gratitude as we depend upon our God in prayer. We saw how these attitudes preserve the body. And now, today we come to the matter of cultivating a discerning church that loves and submits to the truth. A discerning church that loves and submits to the truth. 5 Tips for Protecting the Prophetic Word in the Church (a flourishing prophetic ministry) Don’t resist the Spirit (19) Don’t limit God’s word by your own opinion (20) Be a discerning listener (21a) Embrace good teaching (21b) Keep your life pure from evil (22) 5 Tips for Protecting the Prophetic Word in the Church Don’t resist the Spirit (19) This passage is one that gets a wax nose. Whatever you believe about prophecy becomes how you approach this passage. Why? It’s so brief. It’s so few words. It’s eight words in the original. So, you’ve got to figure out what God wants us to understand from these eight words.1 Paul frontloads the concepts with the verbs listed afterward… 19 Do not quench the Spirit. Quenched2 appears elsewhere in conjunction with putting out a fire. The imagery of the Spirit as a fire when at work is used in Isaiah 4, Matthew 3 and Acts 2. It’s a sign of his energy. That is just almost too tempting for me because it just preaches so well. Don’t extinguish the Spirit’s flaming fire in your life. Let the Spirit burn within you until you are consumed. Sometimes I’ll send Paul Ellsworth some song lyric ideas I’m writing, and I’d say this idea of burning and fire and the Spirit definitely has some legs on a CCM hit. As enjoyable as that may be—Paul’s talking about the Spirit burning anyone. It’s an idiom. We use these to communicate the same idea all the time: He’s a wet blanket She put a real damper on the mood His last glimmer of hope was dashed That really doused my big plans The Spirit isn’t burning. Quenching is an idiom that just means down stifle or shut down the Spirit’s work.3 Now this seems like a conceptual parallel with not grieving the Spirit in Ephesians 4:30. In that context it is focusing on the relational elements of your connection to God. Paul says there by whom you were sealed. The whom. It’s personal. If you are in Christ, you have a very special and precious relationship with the Spirit of God. The Spirit’s work in the life of the believer is irreplaceable: as he calls, quickens, regenerates, sanctifies, pours the love of God into our hearts, frees us from sins tyranny, places us into the body of Christ, enables us with grace-gifts to serve others, translates our prayers, leads us back to the Father and preserves us until we are with Christ in eternity.4 The thought there is that when you and I treat obedience carelessly then we are hurting the indwelling Spirit who seals us.5 Generally speaking, how you grieve or quench the Spirit is to neglect the truth. Stop reading your Bible and stop submitting to what you find in it. Neglect and unbelief are the path. Calvin says this is a warning against indolence (laziness) in spiritual things. It’s a warning against neglecting your soul and yet even so, the hope isn’t just more effort, but dependent striving.6 For although God works efficaciously in his elect, and does not merely present the light to them, but causes them to see, opens the eyes of their heart, and keeps them open, yet as the flesh is always inclined to indolence, it has need of being stirred up by exhortations. But what God commands by Paul’s mouth, He himself accomplishes inwardly. In the meantime, it is our part to ask from the Lord, that he would furnish oil to the lamps which he has lighted up, that he may keep the wick pure, and may even increase it.7 God’s preservation through exhortations that drive us back to him for a fresh supply of strength to follow him. We are commanded not to quench. 5 Tips for Protecting the Prophetic Word in the Church Don’t resist the Spirit (19) Don’t limit God’s word by your own opinion (20) Calvin says that v. 19 is generic and now v. 20 is specific. I don’t believe there’s an abuse of prophetic gifts in Thessalonica because the instruction here is so short. 20 Do not despise prophecies, What are prophecies? Communicating a message of direct revelation from God by speaking or writing. Communicating a message of direct revelation from God by speaking or writing. It could include foretelling future events before they come to pass. But that’s a dimension of prophecy. Prophecy could also include preaching—they key is the source of the revelation is directly from God to the individual prophesying. Active prophetic ministry in Thessalonica. And Paul has to say to the church… Don’t hold them in contempt. Don’t disregard them. We have little work on in terms of the context, but if we stick to the words themselves this much is clear: the Thessalonians were not embracing the God-given, Spirit-enabled exercise of prophecy within the church. Despising here could be to simply regard it as without merit—worthless—a waste of time. How they were doing this is a matter of speculation. Perhaps they were not allowing prophets to speak during the service. They were cutting power to the mic every time a prophet would get up to share. Perhaps they were listening, but then dismissing such things as not being authoritative messages from God. However, it was a low ministry priority for them. My best guess from the context is that they had gotten some bad prophecy and they decided to throw the proverbial baby out with the bathwater. They had gotten duped and said, “we’re gonna cut that part from the order of service on Sunday mornings. No more prophecy. No more funny stuff.” The reason I’m inclined to think this is two reasons. The first is grammatical. Look with me at how v. 21 begins: but Grammatically this is a direct, correlating relationship. Don’t disregard, but (instead, in contrast) test everything; hold fast what is good. He doesn’t say don’t disregard prophecy but put it center stage during your church services. Don’t disregard prophecy but elevate it above the other gifts. He doesn’t say, prophets don’t stop prophesying but keep exercising your gift. No. Rather he says in effect, don’t kick it the curb because of some bad experiences, but instead test what you hear. The solution is to evaluate the prophecy for its validity. Grammatically it’s clear that some bad prophecy was in play. Second, we find bad prophecy addressed in 2 Thessalonians 2. In the very next letter Paul says: 2 Thessalonians 2:1b-2a … we ask you, brothers, not to be quickly shaken in mind or alarmed, either by a spirit or a spoken word… A spirit or a spoken word. A spirit was another word for a prophetic word. Not only that, but they had previously been in idolatry (1:9) meaning mysticism and incantations were part of their old worship. So they would have been skeptical. We get this. I got sick one time after eating honey and peanut butter from that peanut butter machine at Winco as a kid. I didn’t eat peanut butter and honey for years. And the smell of that machine when I’d walk by it would always make me feel queasy. It probably wasn’t sickness from the machine, but that didn’t matter. One bad experience with prophecy and you write the whole thing off. You go to a church service expecting to hear truth and some prophet gets up and promotes another Jesus. Says something that shakes your faith. Makes you doubt your salvation. Causes your peace to be disrupted as you hear a message supposedly from God. You’d be on board with cancelling open mic night at church… no more prophecy.8 But the problem is prophecy is a good gift from God to the church. And so, Paul says, “nah, hold on… breathe… test it and then cling to the good.” The problem was they were trying to filter out and protect themselves by error through their own approach. They were trusting in their own opinions more than in God’s Word and their fears caused them to cut off the Spirit’s ministry in the church. 5 Tips for Protecting the Prophetic Word in the Church Don’t resist the Spirit (19) Don’t limit God’s word by your own opinion (20) Be a discerning listener (21a) test everything; Put it to the test. Everything. Word for proving it. Take what you hear and test it by the book. Celebrating how God used Martin Luther and his famous stand where he’s saying that he will be convinced he’s in error through Scripture and plain reason. This is what the church does. The church is the pillar and support of the truth. The Thessalonians thought they would protect themselves by disallowing certain ministries in the church because of the potential for error. They knew better. Just imagine being in Thessalonica. You’ve got no New Testament. No systematic theologies have been written. No Apostles Creed. No Nicene Creed. No church councils. No Reformation. No Westminster divines. No church history. Pretty different from 21st century America. We need to explain a few things here: What is the NT gift of prophecy? Longer discussion, but here’s the summary. Prophecy has its foundation in the Old Testament. And in the OT there is no such thing as an “oops” I didn’t get it quite right category. Deuteronomy 18:21–22 (ESV) 21 And if you say in your heart, ‘How may we know the word that the LORD has not spoken?’— 22 when a prophet speaks in the name of the LORD, if the word does not come to pass or come true, that is a word that the LORD has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously. You need not be afraid of him. Deuteronomy 13:1–5 (ESV) 1 “If a prophet or a dreamer of dreams arises among you and gives you a sign or a wonder, 2 and the sign or wonder that he tells you comes to pass, and if he says, ‘Let us go after other gods,’ which you have not known, ‘and let us serve them,’ 3 you shall not listen to the words of that prophet or that dreamer of dreams. For the LORD your God is testing you, to know whether you love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. 4 You shall walk after the LORD your God and fear him and keep his commandments and obey his voice, and you shall serve him and hold fast to him. 5 But that prophet or that dreamer of dreams shall be put to death, because he has taught rebellion against the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt and redeemed you out of the house of slavery, to make you leave the way in which the LORD your God commanded you to walk. So you shall purge the evil from your midst. No passage clearly distinguishes a neoprophecy in the NT. But this view is built from 1 Corinthians 12-14 and the passage here before us. And in fact, Peter connects the OT prophet to the NT prophet. Quoting Joel talking about prophecy in the NT: Acts 2:16–18 (ESV) 16 But this is what was uttered through the prophet Joel: 17 “ ‘And in the last days it shall be, God declares, that I will pour out my Spirit on all flesh, and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams; 18 even on my male servants and female servants in those days I will pour out my Spirit, and they shall prophesy. What do we know about this prophecy? Let’s pull out some concepts from 1 Corinthians 12… 12:27—it’s a gift to the church. 12:29-30—not all believers are endowed with that gift. 13:2—prophet powers hyperbole… love is necessary + superior and more important for edifying the body than any gift. 13:8—fade away 13:9-10—What’s the perfect? τελος is complete. When Jesus comes? No. The comparison is to a child becoming mature and leaving behind the immature and childish things. 13:13—faith, hope and love abide (but faith and hope cease when Jesus comes). Hebrews 11:1 teaches that faith is seeing the unseen. Hope is going to go away when we receive the object that we are hoping in. 14:1—prophecy is good it builds the church. 14:2-5—prophecy is superior to tongues 14:29 14:39 Ephesians 2:20—it’s foundational. Ephesians 2:19–20 (ESV) So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, The church was being established… The apostolic age, like many OT times, was an age of revelation. The prophet had a supernatural gift whereby he was able “to reveal to his listeners new truth from God.”9 One of the reasons people have a hard time with the idea that these gifts aren’t operating today is because they can’t find a verse that specifically supports that. What’s often overlooked is the starting assumption regarding God’s revelatory ministry. As you read through the Old Testament you find many times where God is speaking to one person in the whole world at that time. Occasionally it would overlap, and he might be speaking to a couple. Or there would be periods of time when God wasn’t talking to anybody at all. In fact, between Malachi and John the Baptist there was 400 years of what? Utter silence from heaven. Then you have Jesus. Then you have Pentecost. And then you have a God doing a new work on the earth through the church and as we would expect we find revelation and miracles… it was always the case. It fits the pattern. Hebrews 1:1 (ESV) Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, It was a unique season in history. A new work of revelation until the Scripture was completed. His function as a spokesman for God included foretelling (prediction) and forthtelling (preach- ing), in either case on the basis of possessing supernatural knowledge (cf. John 4:19; Eph 3:3-5). In order to claim the gift for today, some writers have identified the gift of prophecy with inspiring and enthusiastic preaching,10 or congregational prophecy, “based on a ‘revelation’ from the Holy Spirit yet not possessing the authority of God’s own word.”11 This is totally out of keeping with all biblical data.12 Bob Kauflin in an article entitled, “How Do We Make Room for the Gift of Prophecy” refers to “prophetic impressions”13 This is where a member from the church gets up to share with the congregation a message or an impression that they believe God is telling them to tell the church. He admits that not all contributions will be “home runs” but that having two pastors near the microphone to screen contributions before they are shared is a good practice and a way to obey the command here in 1 Thessalonians 5:20-21 to test prophecies. While I love Bob Kauflin’s ministry and have benefited greatly from it. We sing hymns he has written. And I appreciate his desire to involve the congregation in ministering to one another. I believe it’s a total misunderstanding of this passage. Kauflin holds to a neoprophecy that is articulated most comprehensively by Wayne Grudem and supported in various ways by other pastors and theologians such as Gordon Fee, C.J. Mahaney, John Piper and Sam Storms. For many of these testing essentially means, “pray about it and then go with your gut… if you sense peace then it’s from the Lord and if you don’t it’s not.” I know they mean well, but I find that an alarming way to begin to say things and cite your source as the divine creator of heaven and earth. Some define prophecy not as a direct, flawless revelation from the Spirit, but as faithfully preaching the word of God to a church congregation. This appears incorrect, since prophecy elsewhere in the Bible seems always to be connected with a direct revelation by the Spirit. Others, however, explain prophecy as a direct revelation of the Spirit, which can nevertheless be mixed with some error. The likelihood is that prophecy in the New Testament is the same as in the Old (a direct, infallible revelation from God) and that the discernment of a prophecy throughout the New Testament is a matter of distinguishing between true and false prophets.14 The key issue is this: false prophecies are just that. False. Pseudo. Fake. Nowhere in Scripture do we find a situation where God’s people are told to figure out what the mixture of a prophecy is: this one’s 50/50; we’ve got a 90/10 split on this one. It’s obvious because we are talking about the source of the message. In high school I was very aware of designer purses. I guess I was trying to find common ground with my friends’ mom’s or something. In the 90’s it was Kate Spade all day long. You had the $300 Kate Spade at Nordstrom and then $30 Kate Spade on the cart outside TJ Maxx. No one ever picks apart either one trying to figure out which components of the purse are authentic and which are fake. It’s either 100% genuine or 100% fake. There’s no partially authentic and partially fake. Matthew 24:24 (ESV) For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect. 1 John 4:1 (ESV) Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. Matthew 7:15 (ESV) Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits. 1 John 4:1–6 (ESV) Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. 4 Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 5 They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. 6 We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error. 1 Corinthians 14:29 (ESV) Let two or three prophets speak, and let the others weigh what is said. 1 Corinthians 12:10 (ESV) to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. You have a responsibility to test what you hear. Teachers give an account, are judged strictly. But guess what? Hearers are also judged. No teacher gets every interpretation right. You are to test what you hear against the standard of truth in whatever ability God has given you. Although Paul here doesn’t give the criteria for examining prophetic utterances, John Stott (The Message of 1 & 2 Thessalonians [IVP Academic], pp. 128-129) suggests five tests based on other Scriptures: The first test is the plain truth of Scripture. Like the Bereans, we are to examine the Scriptures to see if what someone is saying is true (Acts 17:11). The second test is the divine-human person of Jesus (1 John 4:1-3). Anyone denying either His full deity or full humanity is a false teacher. The third test is the gospel of God’s free and saving grace through Christ. Anyone who preaches a different gospel is eternally condemned (Gal. 1:6-9). The fourth test is the known character of the speaker. Jesus said that by their fruits we will know false teachers (Matt. 7:15-20). The fifth test is the degree to which what is said builds up the hearers. An authentic message will strengthen, encourage, and comfort the church, as well as convict those in sin (1 Cor. 14:3-4, 24-25, 31). But the main problem is this—how do you test a word from the Lord against Scripture if it isn’t pertaining to Scripture? Hey church, I think God wants some of us to sell our houses and downsize so that we can better influence various parts of the city and use the proceeds for other activities. I’ve just invoked God’s revelation to me. Or so I think. You have to judge if that’s true or not. How? We might be able to recognize it is something that would generally line up with a practice in Scripture. But practically how would you validate/invalidate? The responsibility of NT prophets to weigh the prophecies of others does not imply that true prophets were capable of giving false prophecies, but that false prophets could disguise their falsity by occasional true utterances.15 B.B. Warfield: Miracles do not appear on the page of Scripture vagrantly, here, there, and elsewhere indifferently, without assignable reason. They belong to revelation periods, and appear only when God is speaking to His people through accredited messengers, declaring His gracious purposes. Their abundant display in the Apostolic Church is the mark of the richness of the apostolic age in revelation; and when this revelation period closed, the period of miracle working had passed by also, as a mere matter of course.16 Prophecy in the New Testament is the same as prophecy in the OT; it is a continuation of the same office and function.17 5 Tips for Protecting the Prophetic Word in the Church Don’t resist the Spirit (19) Don’t limit God’s word by your own opinion (20) Be a discerning listener (21a) Embrace good teaching (21b) hold fast what is good. See prophecy is a gift of the Spirit that was blessing God’s people. 1 Corinthians 14:3b …the one who prophesies speaks to people for their upbuilding and encouragement and consolation. There’s edification here. Strength. Encouragement. Comfort. Help. And if you make a wholesale abandonment of prophecy, you’re gonna miss out on this crucial blessing. Rather than throw it all away, cling to the good. Hold it fast. This is another reason the possibly true prophecy category is problematic. If a teacher says something and binds you to it, but you can’t verify it in Scripture you are obligated. Revelation is a gift to us from God. Consider the personal nature of God’s revelation to his people… Hebrews 1:1–3 (ESV) Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, From a God who condescends to make himself knowable… John 1:14–18 (ESV) And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.’ ”) For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God; the only God, who is at the Father’s side, he has made him known. Jesus came in part, to explain God to us. The detriment of not having revelation… 5 Tips for Protecting the Prophetic Word in the Church Don’t resist the Spirit (19) Don’t limit God’s word by your own opinion (20) Be a discerning listener (21a) Embrace good teaching (21b) Keep your life pure from evil (22) 22 Abstain from every form of evil. Now if you grew up memorizing scripture in the KJV like I did, you learned this as: 1 Thessalonians 5:22—Abstain from all appearance of evil. Great principle, wrong passage. Most people’s discernment on abstaining from evil is this—does Scripture explicitly forbid me from doing something? By that I’m not advocating for making rules to define what does and doesn’t please God. But I’m talking about the freedom of Christian conscience in the fear of the Lord that seeks to live a life that’s pleasing to Christ… Paul describes it as a worthy walk. To walk worthily. To walk in a way that is in measure Christ himself. How does turning away from evil effect your discernment and your receptivity to the ministry of the Spirit? We have seen many times that discernment is intimately connected to your practice of the truth. Mark 9:31–32 (ESV) for he was teaching his disciples, saying to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men, and they will kill him. And when he is killed, after three days he will rise.” But they did not understand the saying, and were afraid to ask him. Lose discernment… unlike those who practice… Hebrews 5:14 (ESV) But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. Practicing what? Believing and submitting to truth. And so immediately we recognize that we need the Spirit of God to do this work in our hearts. How devastating to tell someone your sin will blind you to truth, but you need truth to deal with your sin. It sounds like a catch 22. But God is gracious. He promises to give wisdom to those who ask, to give mercy to the humble, to draw near to those who draw near to him. We draw near by faith, trusting him to reveal things to us that we cannot otherwise see. I’d say the Spirit’s work was pretty effectual in those disciples. Paul wants the ministry of the Spirit to abound in that church in all truth. Hosea 4:6 (ESV) My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from being a priest to me. And since you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children. It comes from a great God who never lies… Titus 1:2 (ESV) in hope of eternal life, which God, who never lies, promised before the ages began… Communion The God of good gifts who has given us revelation and spoken to us, also gave us himself. That’s always the greatest expression of love—to give of oneself. My life for yours. No greater act of love has even been known that God taking on flesh and becoming the substitute for all who trust in him. Unfair for a righteous man to be punished for sin. And yet that’s the means by which we are given freedom. The just for the unjust. The innocent for the guilty. The spotless for the stained. He was the perfect lamb of God. And he is honored when we remember him. And it is also good for us to remember his death for us. If you belong to God through faith in Jesus Christ, then welcome. You are invited to partake and to fellowship around his table. The bible refers to this time in various ways, one is communion. This is from 1 Corinthians 10:16 that describes what we do as a participation, a fellowship, a communion with Christ’s work. It means that we get the privilege of identifying with him in a close association. It’s a time that we reconsider our relationship. In that, we want to come prepared with reconciled relationships within the body of Christ and reconciled relationships with our Lord. We want to take a couple of minutes and prepare our hearts for this fellowship. I’ll close that in prayer and then we’ll sing… PRAY Romans 10:3—not submitting to the righteousness of God and seeking to establish their own. Every guilty thought Every evil deed Sing… Communion reminds us of the love of God for us… The Heidelberg Catechism gives us a wonderful answer to the question: How does the Lord’s Supper remind you and assure you that you share in Christ’s one sacrifice on the cross and in all his gifts? In this way: Christ has commanded me and all believers to eat of this broken bread and drink of this cup in remembrance of Him. With this command He gave these promises: First, as surely as I see with my eyes the bread of the Lord broken for me and the cup given to me, so surely was His body offered for me and His blood poured out for me on the cross. Second, as surely as I receive from the hand of the minister and taste with my mouth the bread and the cup of the Lord as sure signs of Christ’s body and blood, so surely does He Himself nourish and refresh my soul to everlasting life with His crucified body and shed blood. As surely as… we gain assurance as we partake. One minister puts it this way: Do you doubt what your eyes are seeing, what your hands are receiving, what your mouth is tasting? Then don’t doubt that Christ was sacrificed for you, loves you, and will continue to care for you!18 See this is a comfort to us. Imagine the comfort it was to the first apostles who had seen Jesus and been with him physically and then were without him physically… 1 Corinthians 11:23–24 23 For I received from the Lord that which I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus in the night in which He was betrayed took bread; 24 and when He had given thanks, He broke it and said, “This is My body, which is for you; do this in remembrance of Me.” Take. Eat. Remember. And Believe. That Jesus willingly gave his body for you. Let’s fellowship in it together. As you know, the bread was the first part of the ordinance. Then came the cup. 1 Corinthians 11:25—In the same way He took the cup also after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in My blood; do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of Me.” This new covenant is a better covenant. A better relationship through promise. And as we saw, this promise is made by a God who cannot lie. This covenant says that you have been bought with and cleansed by the precious blood of the lamb slain for you. Blood purified and cleansed things in the old covenant. It does so in the new as well, but it does so permanently. So, this is a reminder that you are clean. Take. Drink. Remember. And believe. That you now are secure in the blood of Jesus for you. Let’s remember Jesus together as we partake of the cup. Our Lord is coming back for us and until he returns, we proclaim his death until he comes (1 Corinthians 11:26)… in fact as often as we eat this bread and drink the cup. We are going to sing about that now and so I invite you stand together.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-15 Ministering to the Troubled Grab your Bibles with me and open them to 1 Thessalonians 5. 1 Thessalonians 5. We transitioned last week in this letter from eschatology to a section filled with instructions for how to maintain a healthy church. We said these verses from 12-22 are all about relationships. First, how you relate to your leaders in the church, then how you interact with others, and finally your relationship with the Lord. Regarding your leaders (12-13) Interacting with others (14-15) Trusting your Lord (16-22) Last week we looked at the obligation and privilege of the sheep to love and honor their shepherds. And the corresponding blessing that comes from that command. It strengthens the church. It makes the pastors job a joy and not a pain. It protects a key relationship that needs to be maintained for a church to remain strong. Last week we looked at sheep and their shepherds. This week we move to dealing with other people (really everyone else you could say). And the bulk of this instruction is about how to deal with difficult people. I love that about Scripture. It’s unapologetic and its raw. Instead of pretending that relationships will be easy. We are instead told plainly how to deal with difficult people. And if I could frame up a trajectory here for how to think about this text, it’s showing us how things are supposed to look in the body of Christ. What are we naturally predisposed to in the flesh? We gravitate toward certain kinds of people—who are the people that others like to associate with? People who are attractive and impressive (King Saul); people who are rich (Proverbs). People who are happy. People who are gracious. And appreciative. The flatterers. Why? Because those are relationships where you get something out of it for yourself. The Bible calls this partiality and it’s where you favor people based upon what’s rewarding to you. Regarding relationships in this way is part of the old life. To be a consumer rather than a servant. Christ has a higher calling for his bride. The church is a hospital. It’s a place for spiritually sick people to come and find care for their souls. And it isn’t based upon how much you deserve that care. And it certainly isn’t based in what you can contribute. The church is a community of people transformed who put on display the glory of Jesus Christ by loving others the way our Savior has demonstrated love toward us. Ministering to difficult people is challenging. It’s easy to ignore them. It’s easy to get angry with those who present challenges and don’t shape up. It’s easy to write people off in your heart when they have mistreated you. But Jesus presents an entirely different approach to life in the body of Christ. He presents a body where the spiritual misfits and the down-and-outers, and the strugglers find strength and encouragement and care. The church is to be counter cultural in the way that we love one another and support one another, even when we are at our worst. Early on in our family life even before Susie and I had children we were encouraged to cultivate our home as a refuge. It was great advice. To cultivate the atmosphere of the home to be a safe place. Certainly, that we would deal with issues. Confront sin. But to work hard, as best as we’re able to make it a place filled with love and encouragement and care. To know that when you are in our home you aren’t going to get belittled, or torn down, or ignored. You’re not going to have your own little life to yourself apart from the rest of us. No, there’s a mindset that we are all in this together and we will lovingly bear up with one another’s weaknesses. That’s a blessing to me. Difficult work experiences. Difficulties in the church. You know that in the home everyone has each other’s back. There’s a loving commitment to help one another even when we are at our worst. And we talk about it that way. Hey kids, daddy’s weak and struggling right now. Pray for daddy. Hey kids, one of your siblings is in a rough spot and it’s testing you, how can love and serve them in spite of being wronged? To create an environment that is characterized by graciously bearing up with one another and helping one another in this race called life. And to know that when you come into this home, you are accepted where you’re at. We don’t do that perfectly, but that’s our aim. And its exactly how things are supposed to look in the church. If I could sum it up, we sinners stick together. It’s not a club membership for the people who have it all together. Its where sick people come to find the boundless love of Jesus Christ through the hands and feet of his people. In the church of Jesus Christ, difficult people aren’t to be merely tolerated. They aren’t to be avoided. But lovingly ministered to not as projects, but as beloved brothers and sisters who need help. Let’s pray again… God pour out your love on us, and make it abound through us toward one another—that your good and wise plan would be true of us. Sub-Introduction 1 Thessalonians 5:12–28 (ESV) 12 We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, 13 and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. 14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. 15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. 5 Practices for Bringing Jesus to Troubled People Warn the line crossers Encourage the discouraged Help the weak Endure the difficult Bless the cruel Here’s how this passage is structured: Paul gives a persona (a type of person in the church) and then he gives a one-word instruction for how to deal with them. Now these are not exhaustive categories. By that we mean to say there are other types of people to minister to in the body This isn’t exhaustive. Furthermore, these aren’t comprehensive labels. By that we meant to say that you may be weak in an area or dealing with someone who is a line crosser, but that’s not comprehensive of their walk with the Lord at any given moment, and certainly not permanent. 14 And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, 5 Practices for Bringing Jesus to Troubled People Warn the line crossers admonish the idle, νουθετεῖτε τοὺς ἀτάκτους, νουθετέω: to counsel about avoidance or cessation of an improper course of conduct, admonish, warn, instruct1 You perhaps recognize the νουθετέω word. It makes its way into our vocabulary in the study of the mind, which is the νοῦς. The nouthetic counseling movement which has been rebranded as the biblical counseling movement was borrowing from this biblical word. It was aimed at changing the inner life through the thoughts. If you were distill down then, how people change, fundamentally, it is through the renewing of our minds. Truth comes in and we begin to evaluate and reason differently. Who needs to be admonished? Well, all of us. But here is one particular type of believer that Paul has in mind. It’s someone who is out of step. They are not in order. This word is used in various ways to mean someone who is disorderly. Insubordinate. Undisciplined. Idle is not the best representation of this word. Several English translations capture it better with: undisciplined, disorderly, wrong doers, those who are not living right, and my personal favorite in terms of getting the sense, the unruly. That’s the persona here. The reason its translated idle in some of your translations is because Paul uses it in the next letter to this church: 2 Thessalonians 3:11–13 (ESV) For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. As for you, brothers, do not grow weary in doing good. They weren’t working in the way they were supposed to be. But the contrast is that they are busybodies. So they are doing the wrong things, not merely lazy. And furthermore, Paul had two other better words to choose if the issue were merely idleness or laziness. Outside of the New Testament the word for line crosser: … refers to military officers who neglect their duty or to “an army in disarray” and out of its ranks, as well as to “undisciplined and insubordinate soldiers.” Likewise, one ancient author uses the word to refer to the Roman authorities who “have the right to expect from the [Roman] senate one whose life is licentious and disorderly.”2 There’s a pattern here it would seem. The way I like to remember this person is the habitual line crosser. You aren’t running around correcting every speck in your brother or sister’s eyes. You aren’t a faultfinder. You aren’t overly critical. But you can identify patterns of disobedience in others that need to be identified, with the corresponding truth, and then urged to obey. To admonish someone means to say 1) here’s what you’re doing; 2) here’s what the Bible says; 3) let me encourage you to obey. We warn because we love. Just consider how admonishment is written about in the New Testament. We see it done: Persuasively and urgently with tears (Acts 20:31) As a parent would plead with a beloved child (1 Corinthians 4:14) In wisdom (Colossians 1:28) And knowledge (Romans 15:16) Using the word of Christ (Colossians 3:16) Not as some uninvolved distance spectator, but as a brother would from one brother to another (2 Thessalonians 3:15) Is this present in your life? Are you admonishing others? Are you being admonished? The flesh shrinks away from it in two ways. One, by keeping life so private and controlling your image before others that you avoid being admonished and two, by keeping relationships superficial and comfortable so you don’t have to step out and admonish someone else. I call these terminally superficial relationships. That weakens a church. When everyone makes friends, who tell them what they want to hear and not what they need to hear. When conversations stay in a comfortable level. We’re missing out if we don’t learn to graciously give and receive admonishment when needed. At CBC these are two statements that are part of joining the church: Will you seek out mature believers to disciple you, and will you also disciple others? (1 Corinthians 11:1; Romans 16:15; Matthew 28:18-20). Will you be willing to humbly give and receive correction and spiritual counsel, being careful to flee from pride and hiddenness in your life? (2 Timothy 2:24-26; Matthew 7:1) This is what bodylife looks like. Now you might be unskilled in it. That’s okay. The Bible says you have what you need: Romans 15:14—I myself am satisfied about you, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge and able to instruct one another. I know our flesh pulls away from it. We don’t have the right words. We aren’t sure that it’s our place. Our lives aren’t completely together yet. It’s easier to just shoot the breeze and have a good time. Just trust the Lord and do it. Look, a church that is involved in this is a healthy church. Because we help one another live lives ordered by Christ. It’s about his supremacy. His honor. His reputation. Pray about it and then go. Even this week. If you haven’t done it, it gets easier as you do it because you begin to realize how important it is. You begin to see how selfish it is not do it. And you begin to see the fruit from it. The dearest people to me in the Lord admonish me. By God’s grace let’s help each other. So we’ve established the driving focus of this text, the next points roll rather simply now. 5 Practices for Bringing Jesus to Troubled People Warn the line crossers Encourage the discouraged encourage the fainthearted, παραμυθεῖσθε τοὺς ὀλιγοψύχους, Encourage the fhe fainthearted. Fainthearted, which is a great translation, is translating the word: ὀλιγόψυχος. You’re familiar with an oligarchy (rule by a few) and ψυχή (the soul). Literally then this is a small-souled person. It’s used physically. So, someone with a physically weak heart finds themselves what, easily winded. Out of breath. In the Thessalonian context this was likely those who were beleaguered by trials. Now correlate it spiritually. This is someone who gets dismayed. Overwhelmed by life. Overwhelmed by the call of Christ our captain. Sanctification is overwhelming. Obedience is overwhelming. It’s a lack of confidence in God and what he’s doing. All they can see is the size of the trial. The size of the problem. There may be a tendency to focus on self and one’s own lack. History of past failures. The mountain seems to big to climb. They don’t feel up to the task. Little faith Jesus calls it in Matthew 6. Easily dismayed. Easily losing courage. Easily wanting to give up or give in because it feels like to much. This person needs others to come alongside and provide encouragement. The very same way the ministry of the Spirit of God is described as the comforter in John 16 so you are to be to others. Reminding them of God’s faithfulness. Evidences of his work in their life. Reminders to look to what is unseen and not to what is seen. I recall being a season of faint-heartedness and I had called one of my pastors and I was in acute need during that time period. And as I have reflected back on those meeting and phone calls what I remember is that I didn’t receive any special hidden wisdom in our meetings. I wasn’t given the secret key to the Christian life. But I was pointed back to the truth and encouraged to believe the basics I knew, but I couldn’t access them by faith in the moment I needed them. My experience felt like it was outside of God’s control and I was in a different category. And to have a dear brother just slow me down and stand firm at my side—that’s encouraging the faint-hearted. The anxious. The timid. The despairing. The hopeless. This person doesn’t to be admonished because they aren’t unruly. They need to be given gospel truths and reminded of the steadfast, strong love of God for them through Christ. 5 Practices for Bringing Jesus to Troubled People Warn the line crossers Encourage the discouraged Help the weak help the weak, ἀντέχεσθε τῶν ἀσθενῶν, Devote yourself to the weak. Weak is the perfect word here. It means the sickly. The feeble. Those with incapacities. Those with limitations. Those who are helpless. These are the spiritual down-and-outers. You are to grab hold of them and hold fast. Not let go. People who struggle to obey. They are prone to failure. Of course, we all fall short of God’s glory every day. But this is a habitual weakness. They have a home in the church. A place in the body. And Paul calls the entire church to be devoted to these people. Literally they need help. This would of course still include the ministry of the word, but it would entail more than that as well… it would entail These are the people that tend to fall through the cracks. They are the disenfranchised. We are to have classes within the church of those who are in and those who are not. We don’t all have the same gifting and function and role, but there aren’t to be divisions among the have and the have nots. That happened in Corinth with devastating results. At the Lord’s Supper some were hungry and some were feasting. But Those who tend to get overlooked. Jesus said that we are to minister to the least because that’s how he ministers to us. 1 Corinthians 1:26-27— For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; The church isn’t the club for strong people. It’s a place for weak fools to find strength and wisdom in Christ. That’s the game plan for how to minister to others. Not everyone is going to excel in all of these. Some of you aren’t the most empathetic. Others of you could hardly confront someone if your life depended upon it. We want to grow in our ability to minister to others. But what about when it doesn’t go well. What happens when someone doesn’t embrace your ministry. They are stubborn. I mean you could have not been clearer with the truth in that meeting. You were so gracious and faith-filled in your response, and they’re unimpressed. Nothing changes. Nothing happens. Nothing gets better. 5 Practices for Bringing Jesus to Troubled People Warn the line crossers Encourage the discouraged Help the weak Endure the difficult be patient with them all. μακροθυμεῖτε πρὸς πάντας. Let me state the obvious—difficult people require patience. Unruly people sometimes stay unruly for a loooong time. Discouraged people sometimes get settled in their patterns of discouragement. And yes, weak people sometimes don’t become strong very quickly, or ever. The first time you say it is easy enough. But what if you have to keep saying it. What if you have to keep supporting and encouraging? Positive outlook on what God is doing. Simply embrace God’s plan for change. Look at the disciples… look at the churches… look at your own life. To be patient here (μακροθυμέω) is: to bear up under provocation without complaint, be patient, forbearing3 One of the hallmarks of love. The ability to absorb wrongs. Absorb inconvenience. Absorb challenges and persevere in the relationship. Slow to passion. Slow to anger. You got a long fuse. Even when provoked, not being quick to anger, but bearing up. Timothy is told that a characteristic of an elder is a man who has the ability to be patient when he is wronged (2 Timothy 2:24). Typically, what we think of is that we are generally patient except for in a few relationships or with a few types of people who rub us the wrong way. That’s the very point. It’s the challenging ones that identify your lack of patience. Easy to be patient when you aren’t actually enduring pain and not receiving relief. It won’t cut it to rely on your own strength. To fall back on a disposition of long-suffering. This is waiting patiently on the Lord as you continue to serve beyond your own strength and ability in the grace which he provides. To keep a positive outlook. To keep willing to get back in the ring. To keep praying. Keep serving. Keep sharing. Holding God’s expectations and not our personal ones. Impatience is the frustration that results when our desires aren’t met when we want them to be. Notice this is given to whom? Not to the pastors, but to the people. Last week it was to the shepherds, here it is to the sheep. 14 And we urge you, brothers, παρακαλοῦμεν δὲ ὑμᾶς, ἀδελφοί, We urge you church. Brothers is the collective masculine, plural. All the brothers and the sisters. The saints. The sheep. The folks. He doesn’t say, call the pastor and tell him about the issues you see in someone’s else life in the church so he can go deal with it. You might need help thinking through something or encouragement to go yourself, but God gives us the wonderful privilege and responsibility of ministering to one another in these ways. In fact, the pastors equip the saints who do the work of ministry. Mobilizing an entire body. An entire church. An entire group of priests. We are ministers. Servants. Servants of Christ and of one another. This atmosphere in the body—the way that people are confronted and cared for is lived out by the saints with one another. Not based upon the worthiness of the other person, but the worthiness of Christ. All of these are present active imperatives—there is an element of practice associated with them—you keep doing it and doing it. Question: in the past year, how have you been involved in giving and receiving this kind of ministry within the church? Do you avoid difficult and troubled people or do you minister to them? Have you not received this ministry yourself? You have been taught by God. How patient has Jesus been with you? How many people has he sent to teach you the truth? How many times has he gently admonished you as you are reading your Bible or listening to a sermon? How many times has he been your source of strength and encouragement when you were weak and couldn’t go on? Incarnating the love of Jesus… this is how he ministers to us and we are left here to act in his behalf. He warned Peter. He calmed the disciple’s fears. He fed the hungry. He restored Peter (patience). We give what we have received. You know why we get impatient in part? We forget where we’ve come from. And we overestimate where we are today. We experience God’s grace and then give ourselves credit. Like that wicked servant in Matthew ???? who was forgiven much and went and demanded payment from the one who owed him. It’s about forgiveness, but the text says that the debtor asked for patience and he demanded payment immediately. Oh how quickly forget. We are actually called a kingdom of priests. The role of a priest was… we minster to one another. To give and receive this ministry is going to require opening up your life to others. It’s also going to mean inserting yourself in the lives of others. Some of you do this quickly and probably pretty easily. Others of you are experts at dodging the accountability of body life. How patient are you? How many times are you willing to minister before you reach your patience limit? What about God’s patience toward you. What if it takes years? What if it takes decades? How can you be patient? God is the one who hardens and softens. God is the one who draws. And humble. You are weakening the church if you ignore this. Think of the impact of 10 years of disobedience or 10 years of obedience to these instructions. Watch Jesus powerfully work among his people. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for the patient enduring ministry of others in my life. If it was come and whip into shape. Those who snap into line make it and those who don’t get out. Preach with great instruction and a little patience. Great instruction and patience. No instruction and GREAT patience. None of us is beyond this. You may not be characterized in your walk with Christ or in life as weak. But you need this ministry too. In the past month I’ve personally received admonishment, encouragement and help. 5 Practices for Bringing Jesus to Troubled People Warn the line crossers Encourage the discouraged Help the weak Be patient with everyone Now the one that is least likely to be faked in your own strength. You need God’s divine power and the restraint of truth in your life for this one. You need to be convinced of the Father’s love for you. Bless everyone (even the cruel) 15 See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, ὁρᾶτε μή τις κακὸν ἀντὶ κακοῦ τινι ἀποδῷ, In this life we get wronged. People cheat. They slander. They lie. They offend. They do unkind things. They say hurtful things. They commit sin against us. And oftentimes our flesh wants to retaliate. Probably the most instinctual reaction. And to not retaliate, to not respond in a like fashion feels unjust. Unfair. God has hard-wired a sense of justice in us. He is a just God. It is one of the most natural and instinctive sins. Laws are to be just, and those laws would include retribution. In the Levitical law codes, we read of lex talliones—an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. What’s that mean? When someone commits a crime, they ought to experience a consequence in keeping with the crime itself. And often times in retribution. You steal someone’s car and wreck it, then you buy them a new car. It would be wonderful if our criminal justice system took some notes from Leviticus. It’s how you would establish a just society. While it is legitimate to impose reciprocal repayment or penalty when someone’s civil or economic rights are violated, chaos results when this is rigidly applied to interpersonal relationships. When we are offended, do we keep a grudge until we are able to “pay back” the one who hurt us?4 But that was the laws for governing a just society. When did it fail? When people began to use it for establishing how they would conduct matters in their own personal life, and they would insist on getting their just dues. When you are wronged, what do you do with that wrong suffered? Negative side—do not retaliate. Proverbs 20:22 (ESV) Do not say, “I will repay evil”; wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you. Matthew 5:38–39 (ESV) “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. 1 Peter 3:9 (ESV) Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. 3 John 11 (ESV) Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God. Grates on us. Why? We are so focused on our own little kingdom. Do you see what God has called us to here? How much greater and grander this is??? But that’s not where it stops. Not merely the absence of retaliation. Not simply saying, “I’ll stay over here and not lob grenades.” Actually, go across the aisle and do good. but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. ἀλλὰ πάντοτε τὸ ἀγαθὸν διώκετε [καὶ] εἰς ἀλλήλους καὶ εἰς πάντας. Grammatically here it would seem that it is when someone wrongs you even in the church, that you are to repay them with good. I think of our Lord asking the Father to forgive those who were crucifying him. Father, they want my harm, and yet I want their good. And I want it at the deepest level of who I am. This is a good place for confession. I don’t do much retaliated… it’s a generally frowned upon behavior for pastors. But when someone wrongs me? My heart wants to see them get their just deserves, even if it not through me. Paul says do good to one another and to everyone. You’ve been wronged? Can you do good to that person? Can you treat them in the same way Jesus treats you? There’s a priority here that is established in the Bible plainly: Galatians 6:10 (ESV) So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith. The church first cares for the church and then beyond. These are our instructions. Jesus gave these to us as his bride. His precious bride. And it’s our privilege to honor him in how we relate to one another, especially when we are at our worst. You know what happens when a church devotes herself to this? You have a culture of people who are filled with grace. May this be one of the marks of our church by God’s grace. A group of people who are devoted to one another, and troubled people aren’t merely tolerated, but loved and accepted. Luke 22:26—But not so with you. Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves. Let’s make our church a place that sinners are welcomed and accepted through the love of Christ as we minister to one another.

Clarifications

Title: Fit to Serve Text: I Timothy 3:8-13 FCF: We often struggle underestimating the importance of godly leaders and the overall impact of the gospel. Prop: Because God has given Deacons who are above reproach to assist Elders, we must look for Deacons who are above reproach. Scripture Intro: [Slide 1] Turn in your bible to I Timothy chapter 3. Last week we discussed the primary office of the church tasked with teaching and exercising authority. That is the office of the Overseer or the Elder. We noted how these men are indeed godly men. They are stable in their faith and walk. And they are examples that all wish to follow. And yet we realized last week that we here at CBC do not have Elders, and that even if I do qualify to be an Elder, I am only one. So we ended with a plea for ongoing prayer that God would raise up from among us, men who would be qualified to lead. So that we may obey the Lord. Today, we’ll see the other office in the church. It is a rather obscure office – but an office that has almost unlimited applications and quite a promise of gain and reward for exercising it well. Let’s look, starting in verse 8 of chapter 3. I’ll be reading from the NET which you can follow in the pew bible on page 1338. Transition: So what is the office of a Deacon, and who is qualified for such a position? I.) Deacons are linked to the Overseers of the church in qualifications, so we must look for Deacons who are above reproach. (8-10) a. [Slide 2] 8 – Deacons likewise must be i. It may shock you to know that in all of the New Testament, there are only 4 passages that speak of the office of the Deacon. Of those 4 passages: 1. 1 is contested, meaning it may not be speaking of the office of a Deacon. In Romans 16:1 the women Phoebe is called a Deacon. But the word deacon means servant. So. does that mean she is a Deacon or a servant? It is very difficult to determine. 2. 1 says nothing about the office, only that it exists in distinction from the office of Elder. This is Philippians 1:1 where Paul addresses his letter to the Elders and the Deacons at Philippi. 3. 1 never mentions the word Deacon. That is Acts 6. We will be going there next. Go ahead and turn there. 4. The last passage is our text from today, which is by far the most definitive. ii. What I find absolutely curious, is how many churches have assigned so much authority, leadership, direction, and watch care to the office of a Deacon, when so little is actually taught about them in scripture. From role and function to character and qualifications… the Deacon has very little to go on in scripture. iii. Equally curious is how many churches have virtually ignored the office of an Elder raised up from within the congregation, and have turned to the Elder being a hired hand and employee of the church. The Pastor. Who becomes either a CEO of the church or a hireling for all the tasks no one wishes to do. iv. It is alarming how badly we’ve bungled this. v. I do not say this to bash our predecessors. I am laying no sin to their charge. I am simply astounded that we could reach such conclusions, with the scripture being right there in front of us. vi. So if we are to move forward, we must seek what scripture says about how God’s church should be cared for and administrated. vii. READ ACTS 6:1-6 1. In this passage, no title of Deacon is assigned. Therefore, there is some uncertainty as to the application of this text to the Deacon. 2. However, I believe we can conclude that this is talking about a predecessor to the Deacon office based on three strong arguments. a. This is the early church. In its infant stage. The title of Deacon may not have even been in existence or developed yet. b. The characteristics laid out by the apostles by which the church was to select these men are very similar to the list of qualifications we will see in I Timothy 3. c. The roles that are inhabited by the apostles and these 7 men seem to correspond to the Elder and the Deacon respectively. i. Elder roles as given by several New Testament passages always involve praying and teaching as well as exercising authority over the church. All of which are present in this passage toward the apostles. ii. For the role of Deacon we can look no further than the title itself. Deacon comes from the Greek word for servant. And in this text, they are servants of the apostles. They are serving tables at the direction and assignment of the apostles. They are caring for food distribution. So this would fit the role of a Deacon. 3. So, in this passage, the church was caring for those among them who could not care for themselves. In this, some were being neglected or forgotten. 4. What is clear is that some administrative help was needed. 5. However, the apostles, the predecessors and forerunners of the Elder, did not wish to take time away from prayer and studying God’s Word to see to this. 6. So, they had the church appoint 7 men who were qualified for the role. 7. Once the church appointed these 7 men, the Apostles would install them into a position of authority over certain tasks to be completed. Not authority over people necessarily, but over task completion. 8. Notice they selected 7 men and the apostles prayed over them, placing hands on them. They commissioned them to make sure these widows were cared for. 9. This means that the Deacons were servants, to the people of the church, but primarily at the discretion of and to assist the elder/apostle. viii. [Slide 3] This is the closest thing we have to a job description of a Deacon in scripture. What are the highlights? 1. They are appointed by the church 2. They are servants and assistants of the Elders. The Elders approve and commission them into their necessary task. 3. They are given authority over necessary tasks. 4. They have spiritual qualifications. ix. What are those qualifications? You keep your text open to Acts 6 and we’ll compare the lists from I Timothy 3 to it. b. [Slide 4] Dignified i. Respected and honored ii. This is a person who is serious and grave. In control of his life with the right priorities. iii. This fits extremely well with Acts 6:3 – that they are well-attested. c. [Slide 5] Not two-faced i. The Greek is double tongued ii. The meaning is the same. They do not say one thing and mean another. iii. They are not one person to some and another to others. iv. They are not liars nor are they hypocrites. d. [Slide 6] Not given to excessive drinking i. In word – the Deacon’s standard in reference to wine seems slightly less than the elder’s qualification. ii. An elder is not to be addicted to anything that may inhibit his ability to make decisions or be peaceable with people. iii. This prohibition is against a Deacon being given, or captivated by much wine or much addiction. iv. But in meaning, we really have different words saying the same thing. Deacons ought not be addicted to anything either. e. [Slide 7] Not greedy for gain i. This corresponds well with the Elder qualification of not being overly fond of money. ii. However, this is a different way of saying it. iii. The word means eager for base gain. Or eager for earthy or worldly wealth. iv. Again, the meaning is the same. A Deacon ought not think that money solves all problems nor should he be desirous to hoard or unwisely spend it. f. [Slide 8] 9 – holding to the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. i. The summation of what this is saying is that this person clings to the revealed teaching of the gospel of Jesus Christ. ii. They are not simply hard workers, have made a profession of faith, or are frequent attenders of church. iii. No, they cling to the gospel and have assurance of their hope firmly rooted in Christ and His atoning work. iv. Furthermore, a clear conscience points to a working conscience. One that hates sin and follows after God’s commands. v. This qualification would fit well with the qualification set forth in Acts 6 for the Deacons to be full of faith, the Spirit and wisdom. g. [Slide 9] 10 – And these also must be tested first and then let them serve as Deacons if they are found blameless i. The nature of the appointment of an Elder in contrast to the nature of the appointment of a Deacon gives us clarity here. ii. An Elder is appointed by Elders. An Elder is scrutinized and observed by a group of men who are already qualified overseers. He is appointed to the congregation for installation into the role of overseer. iii. A Deacon, however, as we saw in Acts 6, is selected by the church body. iv. So, this is a necessary addition to the qualification of a Deacon. They must be tested. v. Not as Deacons. We don’t test someone with the office before appointing them to the office. vi. Instead, the act of service, the role of a Deacon ought to already be a part of who they are. vii. They ought to already be servants. viii. And in that service – they ought to be above reproach. Again, Paul uses a different word here for above reproach but with almost the identical meaning as the elder qualification. ix. In their service, those who pass the test to be a Deacon, are those who no one can find credible fault with. h. [Slide 10] Passage Truth: Paul to Timothy instructs on the qualifications for the office of Deacon. A role that is not defined in this text, but is closely related to the role of Elder given the number of similarities in their qualifications. i. Passage Application: Timothy must look for tested servants who are found to be blameless to serve as Deacons. j. [Slide 11] Broader Biblical Truth: Zooming out doesn’t quite help us as much as we’d like it to specifically to Deacons. However, we do see Moses’ father in law convey to him the necessity of delegation. We also see God’s highly ordered temple system which not only afforded the Levitical tribe to be priests, but to also care for the temple upkeep and management. So there has been a long history of delegation with regard to the worship of God. And the church is no different. Elders are to teach and exercise authority in the church, but they cannot meet all the needs of the church alone. They will need help seeing to the more menial tasks and even to the teaching and administrative tasks. This is the role of a Deacon. But they must be qualified. k. Broader Biblical Application: Although we are only a little way through the qualifications, we must see that the governing quality, like Elders, is that they must be blameless. They must be above reproach. They must have a history of tested service. So however we land when we appoint and install Elders here at CBC, we must then look for tested servants in whom we cannot find fault. We recognize those men and appoint them to the office of Deacon and allow the Elders to approve and commission them to serve as the Elders see need. Transition: [Slide 12 (blank)] Why did we stop where we did? Seems like we stopped in the middle of a list of qualifications for deacons. Did you just arbitrarily decide to take a break Chris? Well, actually, Paul interrupts himself. With what? Well that is the rub… II.) Deacons gain reward and courage for serving well, so we must look for Deacons who are above reproach. (11-13) a. [Slide 13] 11 – likewise also their wives must be i. Thus, opens a whole new can of worms. ii. Here is the dilemma. The word for wives is the same word for women. The word “their” is not present in the Greek text, nor is there any sign of possession to indicate that these women belong to these Deacons. iii. If we were to translate this literally – it would say – “Likewise, women must be, dignified, not slanderous, temperate, faithful in every aspect.” iv. [Slide 14] So what are the options for what Paul is talking about here? 1. He certainly could be talking about the Deacon’s wives. a. Grammatically this is totally permissible. It is odd that no possession is shown, but not so odd to make it impossible. b. It is quite odd to have qualifications on the wives of Deacons but not for the wives of Elders – but that could be because the wives were expected to the help the Deacon in their tasks. In fact, if the “likewise” indicates some kind of submission as it does with Deacon to Elder, this may indicate that these women are in some way submitted to the authority and direction of the Deacon. And the first thought would be – their wives! c. However, is a wife of an Elder truly not permitted to help her husband teach or lead? We see Pricilla and Aquilla both teach Apollos. Is it unreasonable to conclude that an Elder’s wife has no place in helping her husband to make decisions? Indeed the very concept of marriage and the wife taking the support role, seems to indicate that the wife of an Elder ought to do this. So why isn’t she given qualifications? d. The transition back to the Deacons after this aside makes a lot more sense if it is speaking about the Deacon’s wives. 2. Paul could be talking about the women in the church as a whole. a. All women in the church ought to be this way. All the women should be qualified to assist the Deacons. b. This certainly is possible and all these qualities are good for women to adhere to… c. However, the context being in the middle of the qualifications of the Deacons seems to mandate it has something to do with the two specific groups in the church. Not just women in general. 3. Paul could be talking about the wives of both the Elders and the Deacons. a. Again, this certainly could what he is saying which is logically and theologically consistent. b. However, contextually this seems difficult because he is literally in the middle of talking about Deacons. c. To bring up a requirement for both sets of wives and then to return to the Deacons seems difficult. 4. Paul could be talking about women Deacons. a. Perhaps Paul in the middle of speaking about male Deacons now wishes to address female Deacons. b. Therefore, everything said before this would apply specifically to men who hold the office of Deacon and everything in verse 11 has to do with women Deacons only. c. After this Paul returns to speaking of male Deacons. d. In this case, Women Deacons would assist the Male Deacons in acts of service toward the church. This would fit quite naturally if they were the wives of a deacon, but without forcing them to be so. It also opens a way for women to serve the church in an official capacity and not be married to someone who holds the office of Deacon. e. This is, of course, not without its own set of problems. i. If Paul returns to the male Deacon in verse 12, are female Deacons not to be faithful in marriage? Why is this a male only qualification? ii. Why would Paul divide them into Deacons and women? Could he not have used an expression to say women who are Deacons? iii. Why such an abbreviated list? It is so small compared to the Deacon’s qualifiers. And many of them, as we’ll see, are simply repeats. iv. And in Acts 6, the Apostles asked the congregation there to appoint 7 men. Not 7 people but 7 men to help serve tables. This doesn’t prove that women cannot be Deacons. Again, this was the early church and we must be careful not to adopt it as prescriptive when it could simply be descriptive. v. So, what is the proper interpretation of this text in regard to women being Deacons? vi. Each interpretation has its merits and problems. Each interpretation is supported throughout church history. We see early church fathers implementing women Deacons, which they called Deaconesses, and we see others not permitting it. vii. Therefore, it is a matter we must leave – unfortunately – unsettled for now. viii. Normally I would tell you what I think at this point. The truth of it is… I have come to a conclusion, but I am not in any way dogmatic on it. I believe that this is speaking of a group of women, known as Deacons, who assist the male Deacons in their role to assist the Elders. However, I am so uncertain of this, that although this may be my conclusion, this may not be what we at CBC eventually decide in regard to our policy and offices. We will wait until our Elder board is established and see what the Lord leads them to collectively decide. ix. So as we move forward, keep in the back of your mind that this could be talking about the wives of Deacons. b. [Slide 15] Dignified i. This is the exact same word used previously. ii. It means honorable and well respected. iii. This mimics the same qualification from Acts 6 to be well attested. iv. So a female Deacon must also be well-attested, just like the male Deacon. c. [Slide 16] Not slanderous i. The word here is the same word we use for devil. ii. It means to falsely accuse, slander, or malicious gossip. iii. Just like the male Deacon, female Deacons must keep their tongues in check. Specifically, in reference to others. Making sure not to spread around false information or accusatory information. d. [Slide 17] Temperate i. This is the exact same word used of an Elder. ii. We noted, however, when we discussed this in regard to Elders, that there was a component of this which is in reference to wine. Since Paul addressed the Elder and wine further down the list we interpreted it this as sober minded or clear headed. Meaning the Elder was able to make sound judgments without being influenced or clouded by emotion, circumstance, passion, or vice. iii. Here though, there is no further statement on wine, and if you have been noticing, there is a symmetry to the previous qualities of male Deacons and to this list applied to female Deacons. And so, here, I think we should apply this more toward the use of wine. iv. Therefore, a female Deacon ALSO must not be addicted to anything. They ought not be drunks or addicts. e. [Slide 18] Faithful in every aspect. i. Trustworthy in all things. Full of Faith. ii. This not only mimics the quality full of faith, the Spirit, and wisdom from Acts 6, and the holding of the mystery of faith from the male Deacons qualities in this text, but also could include fidelity in marital relations. iii. Therefore, female Deacons must be faithful in all things. iv. The next statement is that male Deacons must be faithful in marriage. If this can mean fidelity in marriage it would provide complete symmetry to the male Deacon with the exception of household management – or exercising authority. Which would provide a contextually consistent difference between male and female Deacons and the reason that female Deacons assist the male Deacons like the male Deacons assist the Elders. f. [Slide 19] 12 - Deacons must be Husbands of one wife i. Deacons are held to the same standard as Elders. They must be faithful men, not pursuing any sexual dalliance, but being satisfied in their one wife. ii. Again, this does not necessarily limit a Deacon role to a married man or to a man who has never been divorced. There are more factors to be considered in these cases. iii. This does seem to be the proof that Paul is not discussing women Deacons previously… however, as we noted, if faithful in all things would include fidelity in marriage (which you’d be hard pressed to conclude it doesn’t) then we have parity between them in all qualities except for the next one… g. [Slide 20] And good managers of their children and their own households. i. This is the exact same qualification of the Elders. The Elders do have an additional caveat of doing it with dignity. ii. However, I don’t think Paul implies that a Deacon can rule his house as a tyrant. iii. Rather we see the same quality in Deacons as in Elders. They are men that have the respect, honor, and submission of their wives and their children. iv. This is another proof for female Deacons. Why would Paul not have mentioned submission to her husband if he was talking about Deacons’ wives? That would have been an ideal place for Paul to have emphasized their need to submit to their husbands. v. Like the Elders this is a lesser to greater argument. If they cannot manage their home they cannot manage the church. vi. But have you ever considered – why is this required of Deacons? They are not authority figures, are they? vii. This is true, they do not take charge of people but rather, tasks. However, to accomplish tasks, they may need people to help them. So, to those helping to accomplish their task, they must be good managers. And if they are poor managers at home, they will probably be poor managers in their given task as well. viii. In fact, just because Deacons are servants does not inherently mean that they are not teaching or exercising authority. Remember, they are servants to the Elder. If the Elder needs assistance in teaching and exercising authority, the Elder can give that to a Deacon. Interestingly enough – that would mean that Deacons and Deaconesses would not be exactly identical since women cannot teach or exercise authority. Hence the reason that Paul shifts back to male Deacons for this qualifier. ix. This s why I have concluded that if we have female Deacons, like male Deacons are assistants to the Elders so the female Deacons are assistants to the male Deacons. Male Deacons cannot give teaching or authority roles over men to female Deacons, but they can look to female Deacons to assist them in the care of the body and service to the Elders. h. [Slide 21] 13 – For those who have served well as Deacons gain a good standing for themselves i. This is a promise to all who are Deacons (male or female) that serve well. ii. This could imply that being a Deacon is not a lifetime appointment. Meaning that there is a time that their service ends. iii. However, this is not something we can press to hard into the text. iv. Still, if it can be said that a Deacon has served well, they gain something for themselves. v. A good standing. What does this mean? Popularity? Power? Clout? Respect? vi. No, none of these. vii. Jesus talks about those who would lead being servants. And certainly, Elders are servants, but also Deacons. And being the lowly waiters of tables would seem to be a fairly lowly job. In fact, serving the governing body of the church is not a job that will get a lot of credit. But Paul assures the Deacon that although this office lacks in the flash and prestige of the Elder – he will gain a good standing in the Kingdom of God. i. [Slide 22] And great boldness in the faith that is in Christ Jesus. i. But not only a good standing in the kingdom but also great boldness. ii. Serving as Christ served will put a man in the right place. iii. He will see the faith of Christ, the faith he has from Christ, and the faith he has placed in Christ, as something with which he can continue to act on in this life. iv. Christ was a servant of God and of His bride whom He shed his precious blood to redeem. v. So also, Deacons serve that bride, caring for their physical needs above their own. vi. So with these two offices we see the two sides of Christ ministry continued. 1. Christ taught and preached and saved His people 2. Christ ministered to the physical needs all people including His people. 3. So we have a spiritual and physical side to Christ’s ministry. And we have Elders and Deacons. j. [Slide 23] Passage Truth: So Paul instructs Timothy further that Deacons inhabit a role that may not be as preeminent as the Elder role, but is certainly a noble work in its own right. Perhaps even more so. k. Passage Application: Deacons, male and female, must be people of blameless character who are tested and blameless. l. [Slide 24] Broader Biblical Truth: Zooming out from I Timothy we see men and women both being used of God to help one another serve Him. Many men and women throughout the Old and New Testaments are highlighted for their acts of service and help – even if they were not leaders. And to some degree, they are given even more honor and respect because they serve those who lead. m. Broader Biblical Application: Although it is difficult to know for certain if this applies to wives of Deacons or women Deacons, in either case, women are included in the service of the Elders and the church to perform necessary tasks that the Elders are unable to do. And they are included in an official capacity. Deacons as a whole are indispensable in the church. The Elder simply cannot care for the congregation’s full array of needs while also devoting themselves to prayer, teaching, and exercising authority. So they need assistants. They need helpers. The Deacon then, becomes that helper of the Elder to serve the body of Christ in whatever capacity the Elder deems necessary. And the male Deacon cannot hope to do this on their own. They will need the assistance of female Deacons to minister effectively. Conclusion: [Slide 25(end)] Of course, the application to us here at CBC is to begin looking for men and possibly women who meet these requirements for the role of Deacon. So that we may be ready to present them to the future Elder board for approval and commissioning. But why are these requirements so exacting? Why must these men and possibly women be above reproach? What is at stake? My friends remember the context of this. Paul is writing to Timothy – a new Elder of the church in Ephesus – sent to right the ship. He opens up by telling Timothy to squash false teaching. He commands Timothy to preach the gospel. And then he commands the church there to see the globality of the gospel. The borderless gospel. The gospel that goes out and changes the hearts of all kinds of people. That they ought not pray for only Jews, or only the wealthy, or only men… but instead should pray for all kinds of people to be saved. But where else does the gospel go? Round the world and also deep into our souls. Devout and peaceable men ought to be praying in the congregation. Humble and submitted women ought to be learning in the congregation. Women ought not to teach or exercise authority – but those who are permitted to exercise authority ought to be above reproach. Friends we have not left the context of the gospel. The gospel transcends not just what we believe but how we live. In essence, Paul says – the gospel reaches everywhere… make sure it reaches your hearts too. Make sure it is changing you. Men and women, Leaders and servants. May God’s grace be changing you to be godly, holy, acceptable unto God. Because being holy, being godly, is your expected worship. That is what God requires of His own. If this list has us saying – wow, we’ll never find these people – then we have to wonder if we truly know or understand the power of God in salvation. This is who God makes us to be. This should not be uncommon in God’s church. How alarming then to see that it is uncommon. Yes God’s gospel reaches the tribes in Indonesia – but has it changed your quarrelsome spirit? Yes God’s gospel reaches to the cold of Siberia – but has it kept your eyes from wandering away from your wife? Yes God’s gospel can save the cannibal in Ecuador – but has it broken your pride? Yes God’s gospel can save the prostitute in the Dominican Republic – but has it subdued every thought in your mind? My friends… the gospel goes far and wide, that much is true… but it also comes near and deep. From the top down, from the inside out, from near to far we should see the devastating and glorious effect of the gospel. Elders and Deacons… you might as well call them Christians. For that is what the Church of God is. And this is what Paul will lead us to next… but, alas, we are out of time. But may I just read… read what he says next. “I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing these instructions to you in case I am delayed to let you know how people ought to conduct themselves in the household of God. Because it is the church of the LIVING GOD, THE SUPPORT AND BULWARK OF THE TRUTH. And we all agree, our religion contains amazing revelation! He was revealed in the flesh, Vindicated in the Spirit, Seen by Angels, Proclaimed among gentiles, Believed on in the world, Taken up in glory! Amen! We have a high calling my friends. That is why we must have this caliber of leaders. We can expect these kinds of people because that is what the gospel does. It makes these kinds of people. Is that what it is doing to you?

In today's episode, Zack has 30 minutes to become an "expert" on... The Georgia Guidestones! This topic came in as a suggestion, and neither Zack nor Katie knew what it/they were, which is just how we like it. Learning is the name of the game, after all! But what's the name of the group that paid for and erected the Georgia Guidestones? You heard it here first, folks, we cracked the case and it was......... Okay, well we didn't actually crack that case. But we did learn a whole lot about a fascinating monument built in Georgia in 1980 by a secret group with an odd message for us all. Dive in for a thrilling tale of how "R.C. Christian" showed up in Georgia and really shook up a little town. Whether the guidelines written in eight different languages on the stones are applicable to modern life or simply directions for post-apocalyptic humans is for you to decide. But we will leave you with the ninth guideline: "Prize truth — beauty — love — seeking harmony with the infinite." Grammatically correct? No. Touching in its own weird way? Yes.   Highlights include:  - A covert group of rich people built a monument! - 100 tons of granite! Yikes! - A mysteriously absent time capsule - or is it??    Donate to the ACLU: https://action.aclu.org/give/donate-to-aclu-multistep Donate to the NAACP: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/naacp-1   Follow on instagram @30minuteexpertpodcast and twitter @30minexpertpod Send us your expertise at 30minuteexpertpodcast@gmail.com And please rate and review! Podcast artwork by Rick Radvanksy Intro and Outro music by Jake Radvanksy

Even though we are living in a world where oral communication is dominant, you shouldn’t neglect your writing skills. I really love to write with my posts. I believe it’s a good way to give a context to my pictures or videos. A lot of people will say that most social media users don’t read the captions, but they do if it’s interesting and if it gives value to them. Grammatically, I still have a long way to go, but writing will always be a part of me. I think it’s how I express myself the most. Thank you Léandre Larouche​, writing coach for this wonderful conversation. To reach out to Léandre: https://www.facebook.com/leandrelarouche ---- Follow me / Subscribe for more: Podcast: Hugo Prince on Apple Podcast, Spotify & Google Podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/princehugo/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hugoprince/ Youtube Channel: Hugo Prince Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/princehugo/ ——

We chat about providing tech support, the coronavirus tracking app, going back to "normal", why George doesn't like Tones and I, and car registration databases.On today's episode of The Daily Talk Show, we discuss: - A new tech upgrade- Providing tech support- Information on a car registration- Coronavirus tracking app- Going back to "normal"- George's tanty- What celebs George doesn't likeWatch and listen to this episode of The Daily Talk Show at https://thedailytalkshow.com/690Email us: hi@thedailytalkshow.comSend us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067The Daily Talk Show is an Australian talk show and daily podcast by Tommy Jackett and Josh Janssen. Tommy and Josh chat about life, creativity, business, and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and gronks! If you watch the show or listen to the podcast, you're part of the Gronk Squad.This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/

This episode is a continuation of our two-part study on chapter 1 of the Book of Hebrews. In the first episode we examined Hebrews 1:1-7. In this episode we examine Hebrews 1:8-14. For full summary notes to this podcast, click here. https://landandbible.blogspot.com/2020/04/hebrews-18-14-is-son-called-god-did.html - We note that the word “saying”, or “he says” which appears in English translations in Hebrews 1:8 is not in the Greek original text. The speaker of the words quoted from Psalm 45 is not God, but the Psalmist. Adding “he says” or “saying” to Hebrews 1:8 makes it sound, incorrectly, that God is calling the Son, “God”. But the speaker at this point is not God. - Hebrews 1:8-9 is a quote from Psalm 45, a marriage hymn of a king descended from David (perhaps Solomon?) to a what appears to be a foreign princess. The Davidic king has a God who has blessed him (45:2) and anointed him (45:7). The Davidic king is lauded for his strength and just rule (45:2-6). Part of the reason for lauding the king is to convince the princess that it will be worthwhile and a blessing to marry him. - Most English translations translate the word “God” in the first part of the quote from Psalm 45 in Hebrews 1:8, as: “Your throne, O God, is forever and ever”, that is, taking the word “God” as a vocative, or as a direct address, understanding that in some way the king in Psalm 45 was called “God”, and by extension, that Jesus the Son was called God. But the “O” of “O God” is only interpretation. Grammatically it is possible, I think preferable, to translate Hebrews 1:8a as: “Your throne is God forever and ever”, or, “God is your throne for ever and ever.” That is, the word “God/Elohim” in the verse does not have to be understood as a vocative. - For the rest of the summary notes to this podcast, click here. https://landandbible.blogspot.com/2020/04/hebrews-18-14-is-son-called-god-did.html

#Advice (also called exhortation) is a form of relating personal or institutional opinions, belief systems, values, recommendations or guidance about certain situations relayed in some context to another person, group or party often offered as a guide to action and/or conduct. Put a little more simply, an advice message is a recommendation about what might be thought, said, or otherwise done to address a problem, make a decision, or manage a situation. Kinds of advice Advice is believed to be theoretical, and is often considered taboo as well as helpful. The kinds of advice can range from systems of instructional and practical toward more esoteric and spiritual, and is often attributable toward problem solving, strategy seeking, and solution finding, either from a social standpoint or a personal one. Advice may pertain to relationships, lifestyle changes, legal choices, business goals, personal goals, career goals, education goals, religious beliefs, personal growth, motivation, inspiration and so on. Advice is not pertinent to any solid criteria, and may be given freely, or only given when asked upon. In some cultures advice is socially unacceptable to be released unless requested. In other cultures advice is given more openly. It may, especially if it is expert advice such as legal advice or methodological advice also be given only in exchange for payment. Many expressions and quotations have been used to describe the status of advice, whether given, or received. One such expression is "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." (Erica Jong, How to Save Your Own Life, 1977). Advice is like water, you drink it to replenish your soul. This particular quotation pertains the belief system that states that the answers to one's questions are within themselves, and do not come from any external stimuli. The accuracy of this particular belief is often disputed among theologians, philosophers, etc. However, a person who would hold such a belief, would "advise" another person to seek the answers out from within one's own esoteric and inner spiritual natures. Advice when adhered to and followed may be beneficial, non-beneficial, damaging, non-damaging, partially beneficial and partially damaging, in reference to personal or social paradigms. In other words, not all advice is either "all good" or "all bad". Many people consider unrequested advice to be paternalistic and patronizing and are thus offended. Therefore, some people may come to the conclusion that advice is morally better to be left out of the equation altogether, and this theory is included within the following quote (author unknown): "The best advice is this: Don't take advice and don't give advice." Yet, often in society advice has been helpful. A more day to day example would be "eat your vegetables" or "don't drink and drive." If this advice is adhered to we can see that the benefits would outweigh the consequences. Grammatically speaking, advice is an uncountable noun, like rice or milk. Clicheing or using a cliche, refers to mainstream advice that is overused.[1] --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/vegansteven/message

First off I just wanted to say that yes I needed to spell check "gramattocally" to the correct word lol. Secondly this is a good fucking episode, EnjoyIDK why I said firstly but fuck it I'm lazy so we ain't deleting it 

HAPPY NATIONAL NOTHING DAY! Join us as we celebrate the vast emptiness of the lack of anything. Today we're celebrating with writer and fellow fan of nothing Norm Quarrinton (Twitter: @NormanQ)!! LET'S PARTY!! Find Holiday Party online – Patreon: patreon,com/HOLIDAYPARTY Twitter: @HOLIDAYPARTYPOD / Instagram: HOLIDAYPARTYPODCAST / Facebook: @HOLIDAYPARTYPODCAST / HOLIDAYPARTYPODCAST.COM Find Alyssa – Twitter: @alyssapants / alyssapants.com Find Disa – Spotify: open.spotify.com/user/1243777842 SHOW NOTES History/Fun facts about the topic How do we define “nothing”? (What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of “nothing”?) An article from Vice summarizes this conundrum pretty well. “Nothing is a concept so deceptively simple that it inhabits the strange intersection of science, philosophy, and language itself. Like a child asking “Why?” to the point of absurdity, trying to get to the bottom of this problem can be pretty frustrating” “‘Nothing’, used as a pronoun subject, is the absence of a something or particular thing that one might expect or desire to be present (“We found nothing”, “Nothing was there”) or the inactivity of a thing or things that are usually or could be active (“Nothing moved”, “Nothing happened”). As a predicate or complement “nothing” is the absence of meaning, value, worth, relevance, standing, or significance (“It is a tale/Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,/ Signifying nothing”; “The affair meant nothing”; “I’m nothing in their eyes”).  Grammatically, the word “nothing” is an indefinite pronoun, which means that it refers to something. According to cute-calendar.com, “one might argue that ‘nothing’ is a concept, and since concepts are things, the concept of “nothing” itself is a thing. Many philosophers hold that the word “nothing” does not function as a noun, as there is no object to which it refers.” “Nothingness” is a philosophical term for the general state of nonexistence, sometimes reified as a domain or dimension into which things pass when they cease to exist or out of which they may come to exist, e.g. God is understood to have created the universe ex nihilo, “out of nothing”. Creatio ex nihilo is one of the most common themes in ancient myths and religions Western philosophy has been obsessing over “nothingness” for a  very long time. To avoid linguistic traps over the meaning of “nothing”, philosophers will often use a phrase such as not-being to make clear what is being discussed One of the earliest Western philosophers to consider nothing as a concept was Parmenides, a Greek philosopher of the monist school who lived in the 5th century BC. He reasoned that “nothing” cannot exist because to speak of a thing, one has to speak of a thing that exists. Since we can speak of a thing in the past, this thing must still exist (in some sense) now. From this, he concludes that there is no such thing as change, there can be no such things as coming-into-being, passing-out-of-being, or not-being Parmenides was an influence for other philosophers such as Socrates and Plato, though Aristotle shrugged him off, concluding, “Although these opinions seem to follow logically in a dialectical discussion, yet to believe them seems next door to madness when one considers the facts.”  Aristotle provided an escape from the logical problem posed by Parmenides by distinguishing things that are matter and things that are space. In this scenario, space is not “nothing” but, rather, a receptacle in which objects of matter can be placed. The true void (as “nothing”) is different from “space” and is removed from consideration.  This characterization of space reached its pinnacle with Isaac Newton who asserted the existence of absolute space. Rene Descartes, however, espoused an argument similar to Parmenides, which denied the existence of space. For Descartes, there was matter, and there was extension of matter leaving no room for the existence of “nothing.” In modern times, Albert Einstein’s concept of spacetime has led many scientists, including Einstein himself, to adopt a position remarkably similar to Parmenides. On the death of his friend Michelle Besso, Einstein consoled his widow with the words, “Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of time. That signifies nothing. For those of us that believe in physics, the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”  Existentialists really like to spend a lot of time considering ‘nothing.’ “The most prominent figure among the existentialists is Jean-Paul Sartre, whose ideas in his book Being and Nothingness are heavily influenced by Being and Time of Martin Heidegger, although Heidegger later stated that he was misunderstood by Satre.  Sartre defines two kinds of “being” or etre. One kind is etre-en-soi, the brute existence of things such as a tree. The other kind is etre-pour-soi which is consciousness. Sartre claims that this second kind of being is “nothing” since consciousness cannot be an object of consciousness and can possess no essence. Sartre uses this conception of nothing as the foundation of his atheist philosophy, since equating nothingness with being leads to creation from nothing. Hence, God is no longer needed for there to be existence Modern day philosopher Jim Holt describes nothingness as “a state in which everything is not self-identical. If for all x, x is unequal to x; that sentence in logic describes a state of nothingness. It doesn’t help the imagination, but it doesn’t give rise to any contradictions. It can only be true if nothing exists, because if anything exists, it equals itself.” He also contends that, “Nothing is the simplest way that reality could turn out; it’s the least arbitrary, because it excludes everything. Once you take that seriously, you begin to think, ‘That’s how it should have been; why should there be something rather than nothing?’” Of course, the understanding of ‘nothing’ varies between cultures. In some Eastern philosophies, the concept of “nothingness” is characterized by an egoless state of being in which one fully realizes one’s own small part in the cosmos.  Sunyata, or emptiness, is considered a state of mind in some forms of Buddhism--achieving ‘nothing’ in this tradition allows one to be totally focused on a thought or activity at a level of intensity that they would not be able to achieve if they were consciously thinking.  A classic example of this is an archer attempting to erase the mind and clear the thoughts to better focus on the shot Some have pointed to similarities between the Buddhist conception of nothingness and the ideas of Martin Heidegger and existentialists like Sartre Before moving on from the philosophical interpretations of “nothing,” I would be remiss to not mention Seinfeld, which is popularly known as “the show about nothing” as many of its episodes are about the minutiae of daily life.  According to a BBC article, “Was Seinfeld Really ‘About Nothing’?”, the show “revealed the same problems of being that nauseated the existentialists: the tiniest acts of its characters come together to wreak havoc, sometimes on other characters, more commonly on unsuspecting strangers.” “...one could argue [the show] has a strong nihilistic streak throughout its run - if it’s about ‘nothing’, it’s about the nothingness of existence, the futility of it all.” Just as with ‘nothing’ throughout history, books have been written about Seinfeld since it’s conclusion, colleges offer classes on it that tend to fill to capacity, and think pieces still regularly pop up about the show, despite its finale airing over twenty years ago, on May 14, 1998. From the article, Seinfeld is one of many major works of pop culture that “show us why we say the things we do, do the things we do, thinking the things we think, like the things we like. Seinfeld teaches us what at least one sliver of life was like in 1990s America: silly, banal, self-indulgent, self-obsessed and maybe even nihilistic underneath it all” and shows us “the more universal tendencies we share: we’re probably still a little self-indulgent, even more self-obsessed and still questioning what it all means. And any show that makes us think about all of that - while making nihilism and existentialism fun - can’t really be about nothing after all, can it?” Both philosophically and mathematically, the concept of “zero” has a bumpy history. The ancient Greeks hated the concept of zero so much that they refused to incorporate it into their number system, even when their astronomical calculations called for it. They were uneasy, thinking, “How can nothing be something?”  Aristotle once wrote, “Nature abhors a vacuum,” and so did he (I’m naming my next dog Aristotle). His complete rejection of vacuums and voids and his subsequent influence on centuries of learning prevented the adoption and the concept of zero in the Western world until around the 13th century, when Italian bankers found it to be extraordinarily useful in financial transactions Other terms for ‘zero’ include ‘nought’, which is where“naughty” is derived from because it was bad to be nothing. Zero was thought of as Devil’s work and the antithesis of God “Zero” was first seen in cuneiform tablets written around 300 BC by Babylonians who used it as a placeholder (to distinguish 36 from 306 or 360, for example). The concept of zero in its mathematical sense was developed in India in the 5th century, and popularized in Europe by Fibonacci in the eleventh century Any number divided by zero is...nothing, not even zero. The equation is mathematically impossible A mathematical concept of nothing proposed by science journalist Charles Seife, who authored “Zero: The Biography of of a Dangerous idea,” proposed starting with a set of numbers that included only the number zero, then removing zero, leaving with is called a null set In computing, “nothing” can be a keyword used in place of something unassigned, a data abstraction. Although a computer’s storage hardware always contains numbers, “nothing” symbolizes a number skipped by the system when the programmer desires. May systems have similar capabilities but different keywords, such as “null”, “NUL”, “nil”, and “None” In physics, the concept of “nothing” can be a touchy and complex subject to consider. Generally, a region of space is called a vacuum if it does not contain any matter, though it can contain physical fields. In fact, it is practically impossible to construct a region of space that contains no matter or fields, since gravity cannot be blocked and all objects at a non-zero temperature radiate electromagnetically According to theoretical physicist Sean Carroll, “Even if [space] is as empty as it can be, there are still quantum mechanical [properties] - they’re just in a zero-energy state not doing anything. But you could probe the vacuum, as particle physics does, and discover its properties.” Empty space is instead filled with pairs of particles and antiparticles, called virtual particles, that quickly form and then, in accordance with the law of energy conservation, annihilate each other in about 10-25 seconds These virtual particles popping in and out of existence create energy. In fact, according to quantum mechanics, the energy contained in all the power plants and nuclear weapons in the world doesn’t equal the theoretical energy contained in the empty spaces between these words Carroll suggests that, “It’s probably better to think of nothing as the absence of even space and time, rather than space and time without anything in them.” Forbes.com further reiterates that “not everyone agrees about what we mean, scientifically, when we talk about what ‘nothing’ actually is” and helpfully outlines the four scientific meanings of nothing: A time when your “thing” of interest didn’t exist--if something fundamentally arose where there was no such thing before Empty space--if you take all the matter, antimatter, radiation, and spatial curvature away Empty spacetime in the lowest-energy state possible--if you then take away any energy inherent to space itself, leaving only spacetime and the laws of nature Whatever you’re left with when you take away the entire Universe and the laws governing it A few more fun facts from the Discovermagazine.com article “20 Things You Didn’t Know About...Nothing” There is vastly more nothing than something. Roughly 74% of the universe is “nothing,” or dark energy. 22% is dark matter. Only 4% is baryonic matter, the stuff we call ‘something.’ And even something is mostly nothing. Atoms overwhelmingly consist of empty space. Matter’s solidity is an illusion caused by the electric fields created by subatomic particles There is more and more nothing every second. In 1998 astronomers measuring the expansion of the universe determined that dark energy is pushing apart the universe at an ever-accelerating speed. The discovery of nothing - and its ability to influence the fate of the cosmos - is considered the most important astronomical finding of the past decade But even nothing has a weight. The energy in dark matter is equivalent to a tiny mass; there is about one pound of dark energy in a cube of empty space 250K miles on each side In space, no one can hear you scream: Sound, a mechanical wave, cannot travel through a vacuum. Without matter to vibrate through, there is only silence Light can travel through a vacuum, but there is nothing to refract it. Alas for extraterrestrial romantics, stars do not twinkle in outer space Black holes are not holes or voids; they are the exact opposite of nothing, being the densest concentration of mass known in the universe It is said that Abdulhamid II, sultan of the Ottoman Empire in the early 1900s, had censors expunge references to H2O from chemistry books because he was sure it stood for “Hamid the Second is nothing” Medieval art was mostly flat and 2D until the 15th century, when the Florentine architect Filippo Brunalleschi conceived of the vanishing point, the place where parallel lines converge into nothingness. This allowed for the development of perspective in art Vacuums do not suck things. They create spaces into which the surrounding atmosphere pushes matter Current theories suggest that the universe was created out of a state of vacuum energy, that is, nothing In other words, nothing could be the key to the theory of everything Urban Dictionary’s top definition of “nothing” is: “Actually means ‘something,’ but is used when you don’t feel like explaining,” posted by user Melanie on October 21, 2003 The second most upvoted Urban Dictionary definition of “nothing” was posted by user Doomeyes, also on October 21, 2003, and is thus: “Nothing, put simply, is the deepest, shallowest, brightest, darkest, widest, thinnest, and incomprehensibly empty emptiness, so empty that it is only prevented from collapsing upon itself because there is no substance to collapse in upon, or no substance to do the collapsing, or even any substance to think or daydream about collapsing upon absence of presence or presence of absence, which is still utterly and completely absent of form and shape and mass and presence that is absent from the existence of anything. In short, nothing is the total, absolute, final, and complete spot that is both positive and negative, young and old, and to sum it all up the opposite of everything in existence, for there is no existence in nothingness. It has even been thought that nothingness itself doesn’t even exist, and that the existence of nothingness is so impossibly ludicrous and insane that if anyone were to actually realize or see nothingness, the entirety of the expanse of the Everything would simply vaporize, leaning even more nothingness in its place.  Nothingness is nothing, to put it simply. (really, this time)” History of National Nothing Day According to WIkipedia and various other sources, National Nothing Day is an “un-event” proposed in 1972 by San Francisco Examiner columnist Harold Pullman Coffin, and has been observed annually since 1973, when it was added to Chase’s Calendar of Events. The purpose of the holiday is “to provide Americans with one National Day when they can just sit without celebrating, observing or honoring anything.”  Now remember, the third Monday of every January has, since 1986, been celebrated as MLK Jr Day, which falls between the 15th and 21st. This means that one-in-seven January 16ths now fall on a public holiday, which effectively usurps the very nature of National Nothing Day Unfun fact: Some states were resistant enough to observing MLK Jr Day that it wasn’t until 2000 that it was officially observed in all 50 states for the first time In contrast, the Realist Society of Canada has a religious holiday called THABS or “There Has Always Been Something” Day), which is dedicated to the celebration of the “realization” that “if there was ever nothing, there would be nothing now”. It is celebrated on July 8 each year.  Fun fact! Harold Pullman Coffin was born in Reno, NV on January 26th, 1905 and is buried at Masonic Memorial Gardens on Stoker Ave, near Idlewild Park and Reno High School. Activities to celebrate Do nothing! But use the hashtag #NationalNothingDay on social media when you brag about all the nothing that you’re doing Watch Seinfeld. You can start with the show’s self-mocking clips where Jerry and George pitch a show to NBC about “nothing” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQnaRtNMGMI https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUWiv5r_CZw Watch the 2003 movie “Nothing”, a canadian philosophical comedy-drama about two friends and housemates who open their front door one day and discover that the entire world beyond their house is gone, replaced with a featureless white void Watch “A Short History of Nothing” on bbc.co.uk.  https://www.bbc.co.uk/ideas/videos/a-short-history-of-nothing/p076bm46 You can post some of the following “nothing” quotes to your social media, and anyone under 14 on your friends list will think you’re really deep “We can know only that we know nothing. And that is the highest degree of human wisdom.” - Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.” - Plato, The Republic “To do nothing is the way to be nothing.” - Nathanial Hawthorne “Tired, tired with nothing, tired with everything, tired with the world’s weight he had never chosen to bear.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned “I love to talk about nothing. It’s the only thing I know anything about.” - Oscar Wilde “I must be made of nothing to feel so much nothing.” - Michelle Hodkin, The Evolution of Mara Dyer “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” - Theodore Roosevelt “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” - Edmund Burke “Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee.” - Ernest Hemingway, A Clean Well Lighted Place “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!” - Audrey Hepburn From bustle.com, you could Watch or read “Much Ado About Nothing” Have a milkshake at Tom’s Restaurant in NYC, which is a nod to Seinfeld Watch GoT and remember that Jon Snow knows nothing Challenge yourself to do nothing for two minutes. This tip includes a link to the website donothingfor2minutes.com, which is essentially an ad for the Calm app and features an ocean at sunset in the background, the sounds of waves, and a timer that resets every time you interact with your computer in any way. Basically a beginner’s meditation session Chow down on a Nothing Bundt Cake, from the bakery Nothing Bundt Cakes Brush up on why we should all get comfortable doing nothing, five reasons for which we learn from The Guardian.  First, “doing nothing” isn’t really doing nothing. “Savouring the pleasure of idleness” isn’t passive--according to psychologists, “It’s a learnable set of skills for relishing the moment, for example, by focusing on each of your senses in turn.” It could be considered synonymous with “feeling alive.”  Second, aimlessness, rest, and even boredom can boost creativity. One reason why is the “incubation effect”: ceasing to focus on a project seems to give your unconscious permission to get to work. Other studies looking at boredom suggest it motivates people to find interesting ways to alleviate it, thereby triggering creative ideas. Aimless thinking can also combat the tunnel vision that can result from fixating on goals. When you have no specific end in mind, you’re less likely to exclude new ideas as irrelevant Third, too much busyness is counterproductive.  The article explains that “we chronically confuse effort with effectiveness: a day spent on trifling tasks feels exhausting and virtuous, so we assume - often wrongly - it must have been useful.” However, Dutch work expert Manfred Kets de Vries informs us that busyness “can be a very effective defence mechanism for warding off disturbing thoughts and feelings.” Essentially, it’s when doing nothing that we can finally confront what matters. Fourth, the brain depends on downtime. Not only is downtime essential for “recharging”, but to process the data we’re deluged with daily, to consolidate memory, and reinforce learning. Downtime and rest strengthen the neural pathways that make these things possible. In a 2009 study, “brain imaging suggested that people faced with a strange task - controlling a computer joystick that didn’t obey the usual rules - were actively coming to grips (nice turn of phrase) with learning this new skill during seemingly passive rest periods.” And fifth, you’ll regain control of your attention. Doing nothing isn’t easy at first. It takes a good amount of willpower to resist the urge to do things. According to the meditation instructor Susan Piver, “busyness is seen as a form of laziness” in Buddhism. It’s a failure to withhold your attention from whatever random email, task, or webpage lays claim to it. One trick could be to schedule time to “do nothing.” “Just don’t expect others to understand when you decline some social event on the grounds that you’re busy not being busy.” Listen to Nothing. The band.  Whisper sweet nothings to someone Read The Book of Nothing Take a trip to Nothing, Arizona. It’s now a ghost town, but once held an impressive population of 4 people and contained a gas station and small convenience store The town sign read, “Town of Nothing Arizona. Founded 1977. Elevation 3269ft. The staunch citizens of Nothing are full of Hope, Faith, and Believe in the work ethic. Thru-the-years-these dedicated people had faith in Nothing, hoped for Nothing, worked at Nothing, for Nothing.” Deseret.com has a couple of book recommendations, including “The Book of Nothing: Vacuums, Voids, and the Latest Ideas about the Origins of the Universe,” by John D. Barrow; “Nothing Matters: a book about nothing,” by Ronald Green; “The Book about Nothing,” by Mike Bender Deseret.com also encourages you to use “nothing” in as many phrases as possible, such as “All or nothing” “Nothing but…” “Thanks for nothing” “Nothing to lose” “Next to nothing” “I got nothing” NATIONAL NOTHING DAY Mixtape Nothing by Bruno Major Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby by Cigarettes After Sex Zero Day by Nothing I’m Nothing by Violent Femmes Nothing From Something by The Offspring Nothing by The Script Particles by Nothing But Thieves Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O’Connor Nothing Breaks Like a Heart by Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus Nothing Without You by The Weeknd Church by Fall Out Boy featuring nothing, nowhere Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris featuring Florence Welch All or Nothing by O-Town Making Love Out of Nothing at All by Air Supply There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back by Shawn Mendes Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship SOURCES https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Nothing_Day https://nationaldaycalendar.com/national-nothing-day-january-16/ https://www.bustle.com/articles/59083-10-ways-to-celebrate-national-nothing-day-besides-doing-absolutely-nothing https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jan/09/five-reasons-we-should-all-learn-to-do-nothing https://www.cute-calendar.com/event/national-nothing-day/36126.html https://www.deseret.com/2019/1/16/20663602/today-is-national-nothing-day-here-s-what-that-means https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/nothing-quotes https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/nothing https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nothing https://www.discovermagazine.com/the-sciences/20-things-you-didnt-know-about-nothing https://www.livescience.com/28132-what-is-nothing-physicists-debate.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing https://www.forbes.com/sites/startswithabang/2018/01/31/the-four-scientific-meanings-of-nothing/#3f2d15631a5f https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/vbk5va/what-is-nothing

2019-09-29 AM - Jacob Skogen - Psalm 31:9-16

At AltConf in San Jose, Alexandre Larouche, Software Integration Director for Druide Informatique, explains how their software suite, Antidote, combines a grammar corrector with their dictionaries and language guides to help you compose in your language but publish in theirs, round tripping right from the app you are composing in.  This edition of MacVoices is supported by ATTO. The Power Behind the Storage. Show Notes: Chuck Joiner is the producer and host of MacVoices. You can catch up with what he's doing on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn. Subscribe to the show: iTunes: - Audio in iTunes - Video in iTunes - HD Video in iTunes Subscribe manually via iTunes or any podcatcher: - Audio: http://www.macvoices.com/rss/macvoicesrss  - Video: http://www.macvoices.com/rss/macvoicesvideorss Donate to MacVoices via Paypal or become a MacVoices Patron.

At AltConf in San Jose, Alexandre Larouche, Software Integration Director for Druide Informatique, explains how their software suite, Antidote, combines a grammar corrector with their dictionaries and language guides to help you compose in your language but publish in theirs, round tripping right from the app you are composing in.  This edition of MacVoices is supported by ATTO. The Power Behind the Storage. Show Notes: Chuck Joiner is the producer and host of MacVoices. You can catch up with what he's doing on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn. Subscribe to the show: iTunes: - Audio in iTunes - Video in iTunes - HD Video in iTunes Subscribe manually via iTunes or any podcatcher: - Audio: http://www.macvoices.com/rss/macvoicesrss  - Video: http://www.macvoices.com/rss/macvoicesvideorss Donate to MacVoices via Paypal or become a MacVoices Patron.

Why is the story of the Road to Emmaus so popular? Well, it's a miracle story. But it is also s homecoming story. The Disciples had just witnessed a catastrophe, and the story ends by giving them new hope and new energy. The story is about a married couple, Mr and Mrs Cleopas. Their whole world had collapsed. The messiah they had believed Jesus to be had just been cruelly executed by the authorities. They were distraught and despondent. Then Jesus joins them on their walk. But despite the fact that Jesus was on their minds and in their conversation, they do not recognise Him! Why? Well, something kept them from seeing Him as Jesus. Of course, or modem, scientific minds don't get this, and try to explain this with science and logic. The option that this was a divine act doesn't enter our minds. Practical people do not consider the possibility of miracles, do they The difference with today is that in those times, people *did* believe in miracles. In the original text, the phrase actually says that their eyes “were kept from recognising” Him. Grammatically, this is called the “passive voice”, and it was used exclusively in the New Testament to describe situations where God is acting. In other words, it was God who kept them from recognising Jesus. But why would He do this? It was a ten kilometre walk. This provided plenty of time for them to be *tutored*, by Christ Himself! They were kept from recognising Him, so that they could be instructed! This had got to have been the greatest Bible Study in all time, because it was led by the Greatest Bible Teacher of all time! In that light, a ten kilometre walk could not possibly have been a long enough walk to cover all the areas of the Scriptures that point to Jesus. After all, the Bible is all about God's plan of salvation for Mankind through His risen Son, Jesus. To Him be all glory and praise!

Can someone lose their salvation? There are few doctrines that are more divisive than the doctrine of eternal security. Eternal security states that the one who believes in Jesus Christ is completely and totally secure for all eternity in their salvation and that nothing can sever this relationship whether in this life or in the Life to come. This doctrine is often referred to as “once saved, always saved.” Foundational Verses for SecurityIn sharing the good news that salvation is provided freely by Jesus Christ, John 5:24is an excellent verse that clearly establishes the issue. “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has Eternal Life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.” There are two major points that Jesus addresses and a result that follows. First, the person must hearthe good news about Jesus Christ. This is consistent throughout the New Testament (Acts 15:7; 18:8; Rom 10:17; Eph 1:13). One cannot believe in what they have not heard, so it only follows that we must tell people about Jesus Christ. Have they heard that Jesus, the Son of the Living God, has provided salvation for them full and free?If they answer “yes,” we now move to the second point. Have they believedGod’s Word about Jesus providing salvation? To “believe” is to have a conviction that something is true. It is faith. Hebrews 11:1 states that faith “is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” From this simple definition, we can see that "faith" is a confident conviction that something is true. Concerning the good news, the object of our “confident conviction” is Jesus Christ. Do we believe what God has said about Him? Are we confidently convinced that He alone can save us?(It is important to note that in this one verse, the condition for salvation is clearly displayed, being “faith.” This is all that Jesus requires. “If there are hidden conditions to salvation other than the simple request of faith, Jesus would be guilty of deception.”[1])If the answer to this question is “yes,” we then ask them what they now have. The answer is clear in John 5:24- Eternal Life. This verse uses the word “has” which is a present-tense verb. Eternal Life is something that one has at the moment of faith in Christ. This is not a gradual process or a "time of testing," but an immediate fact. D.L. Moody wrote, “Salvation is instantaneous. I admit that a man may be converted so that he cannot tell when he crossed the line between death and life, but I also believe a man may be a thief one moment and a saint the next. I believe a man may be as vile as hell itself one moment, and be saved the next. Christian growth is gradual, just as physical growth is; but a man passes from death unto everlasting life quick as an act of the will—'He that believeth on the Son hatheverlasting life.’”[2]The next point to consider is that Jesus clarifies exactly what He means in stating that the one who believes in Him “does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life” (John 5:24b). Our previously certain reservation in the Lake of Fire has been dismissed due to the free pardon that is offered by the perfect work of Jesus. The one who believes in Christ will never be judged for their sin. It has been paid for in full!It must also be noted that the believer in Christ “has passed” out of eternal death into Eternal Life. This is a verb in the perfect tense, meaning that it is “a completed verbal action that occurred in the past but which produced a state of being or a result that exists in the present.”[3]This means that Eternal Life is a present reality for the one who believes and is a permanent possession beyond this life into the Life to come. Death has been dismissed, being gloriously replaced by the gift of Eternal Life that Jesus freely gives.Another foundational passage is found in John 10:27-30. This is commonly referred to as the “double-fisted grip of God,” and rightly so, for in it is the reinforcement of the believer’s eternal destiny directly from the mouth of the Lord Jesus. Jesus refers to believers as His “sheep” in John 10:27. It is clear from 10:26 that those who are considered “sheep” are those who have believed in Jesus. They know His voice and they follow Him. In v.28, Jesus plainly states that He gives them “Eternal Life.” Notice that this is a gift and not something that they have earned. One cannot earn their salvation. May it be stated clearly: Eternal Life IS salvation. What else could it be but Life from the dead for those who were formerly separated from God by their sin nature? By its very name it is forever.Verse 28 is so emphatic regarding the impossibility of one losing their salvation that the translators of the HSCB translated this as “and they will never perish —ever!” In the Greek, this is what is known as an “emphatic negation” because “never” is the translation of ou mēand is included with “perish” being the aorist subjunctive, which is “the strongest way to negate something in Greek,” because it “denies a potentiality”[4]regarding the loss of one’s salvation. Wallace goes on to note that “ou mē rules out even the idea as being a possibility,” while stating in the next paragraph that “especially in John: what is negatived is the possibility of the loss of salvation.”[5]Grammatically, it is an absolute and undeniable impossibility to be lost again.In v.28b-29, Jesus uses an illustration that involves His ability to securely keep those who are His, and the Father’s ability (being “greater than all”) to do the same. The one who is Christ’s sheep is held firmly, without needing to fear removal, in His perfect hands, while the Father also holds these same sheep in divine security. He then reveals that He and the Father are one (v.30), signifying their complete unity. Christ’s sheep are shielded by His hands while also being gripped in the grace of the Father. Robertson expounds on this, writing, “No wolf, no thief, no bandit, no hireling, no demon, not even the devil can pluck the sheep out of my hand.”[6]Though some have claimed it to be possible, even the believer him or herself cannot remove themselves from the double-fisted grip of God’s grace. The promise of Christ is certain and sure.While many other passages could be expounded upon, these two sections are sufficient to prove the point. The one who hears the good news about Jesus and is confidently convinced that it is true receives Eternal Life as a free gift, having passed from total separation from the Father into a living union with Him.The Difference Between Security and AssuranceEternal Securitycan be easily understood from the verses in Scripture that promise Eternal Life (John 3:16; 5:24; 6:37, 40, 47). Plainly put, if Eternal Life is not forever, what else could it be? John 3:16 is clear. The one who believes in Jesus has Eternal Life. Therefore, Eternal Security is a biblical doctrine that is as sure and steadfast as its name, being based on Christ’s merits and not on our performance or lack thereof.Assurance of salvationis a different subject only because it is the person's viewpoint of their salvation. For instance, one may hear the Gospel and believe and understand at that moment that they have been eternally saved, meaning that they are eternally secure. At that moment they have assurance of their salvation. But let's say that an hour later they participate in some heinous sin, anafterwardds they have great anxiety about the authenticity of their salvation, concluding that someone who "truly believes in Jesus" would never sin like that (which is complete nonsense). That person may no longer haven a assurance of their salvation. However, this feelingdoes not change the factof their salvation. They are still eternally secure. Heinous sins are not greater than the grip of God’s grace. David’s sin in having Uriah murdered to cover up his fornication with Bathsheba is considered by most to be one of the worst sins in all of history. However, David writes, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from Your presence and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and sustain me with a willing spirit” (Psalm 51:10-12). This section, along with the rest of the psalm, makes it clear that David had sinned greatly against the Lord. However, he cries out for a restoration of the “joy of Your salvation” and not for a saving-again to take place. David did not lose his salvation by committing this atrocious act, but he did fracture the ongoing fellowship experience that he had enjoyed with the Lord, and it was this sense of loss, coupled with the conviction that Nathan the prophet brought to David (2 Sam 12:1-15) that caused him to cry out for restoration. This is something that can happen to us as well. To the surprise of many, ongoing sin in a believer’s life does not nullify their salvation either. Take the church in Corinth, who had a man that was openly sleeping with his stepmother, a sin that pagans did not even dare to commit (1 Cor 5:1). Paul takes this sin seriously, as we should all sin, but he does not question the man’s eternal destiny. He writes, “deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus” (1 Cor 5:5, emphasis added). If this man loved this lifestyle so much, he was to be dismissed from the fellowship of the church. However, though this sin may lead to physical death, he was still spiritually secure in his salvation.In the case of habitual sins or “unusual” (sometimes declared to be “big” sins), our assurance can waver because our emotions have taken control, moving our focus off of Christ and onto ourselves. In our minds, the issue of Heaven or Hell has just become a matter of us keeping our conduct, morals, and secret thoughts in a straight line. This leads to a fear-based approach to God, certain depression because of our failures, and repeated feelings of inadequacy that we are just not good enough to be saved. This makes living one’s daily life a constant attempt to be accepted rather than resting in the believer’s “already-acceptance” because Christ’s finished work has been fully accepted.This can be seen in the actions of John the Baptist, who was considered by Jesus to be the greatest person ever born of a woman (Matt 11:11a). While in prison, John had heard about the miracles that Jesus was doing. He then sent some of his disciples to Jesus with a very revealing question: “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?” (Matt 11:3). This is an incredible inquiry, for John the Baptist was the forerunner of Christ (Luke 1:17), who was filled with the Spirit while still in his mother’s womb (Luke 1:15b), and who declared when seeing Jesus, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! (John 1:29b). But with this question, it is clear that he had lost his assurance. When hearing this inquiry through John’s disciples, Jesus responds stating, “Go and tell John what you hear and see: the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deahearsar, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them. And blessed is the one who is not offended by me” (Matt 11:4-6). Jesus’ reply pointed John to all that was spoken of the Messiah in the prophecies of Isaiah (Isa 29:18-19; 35:5-6; 61:1). At no time did John lose his salvation, but his current situati,on being in a prison ce,ll had caused him to lose sight of who Jesus was, momentarily robbing him of his assurance. Jesus reminds Him that He is the One who fulfills the promises of the prophets; a response that was guaranteed to restore his assurance.A person’s present situation, whether pleasant like a summer’s day or revolting like a Roman prison, is not indicative of one's eternal standing with Gd, and is most certainly not the basis of their eternal security in Christ. One’s salvation is based upon the Savior’s finished work, not the saint’s mistakes and successes. To conclude that salvation is “true,” “genuine,” or “authentic,” based on the performance of the individual is to state that the individual’s performance is necessary (indispensable) in order to complete (or make valid) that person’s salvation. If this were true, we must ask, “So what of the cross?” Why did Jesus die if I only need to do my part? Why couldn’t I just do more so that Jesus could have done less and would not have had to suffer so much? This reasoning is ludicrous, and the conclusions and arguments that surround this line of thinking are fallacious. Ultimately, this conclusion would state that what Jesus did on the cross was not effective enough, satisfying enough, or sufficient enough. His death was lacking, needing our submission and obedience to complete it. This is nothing short of blasphemy.This is the plainly stated word of God on salvation and the assurance that should accompany one’s faith in Christ. To look elsewhere is to lose one’s assurance of the Eternal Life that they possess as a free gift from God. Our surroundings are in no way a grounds for acceptance before God. George Pentecost writes, “It is not in the fact that you are a descendant of a saintly father, a child of believing parents, for, as old Matthew Henry says, ‘Grace does not run in the blood;’ nor is it that you have membership in the visible Church of Christ; nor is it to be found in delightful frames and feelings—in a word, not even a genuine Christian experience constitutes your ‘title-deed.’ Where then are we to bottom our hope? Why, just in the naked bare Word of God. It is written, ‘Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that heareth My words, and believeth on Him that sent Me hatheverlasting life,’ etc. (John 5:24). Straight to the record do we appeal for a final test as to our possession in God.”[7]Another point to consider is that eternal security is not the same as the Perseverance of the Saints. The Perseverance of the Saints is a doctrine that came about shortly after the Reformation in the 1500s. In simple terms, it states that those who artruely believers in Christ will persevere in their faith and good works until their dying day. For those who do not persevere, it is either concluded that they were "never truly saved," as the Calvinists would conclude, or that they had "lost their salvation," as held by Arminians. From what we have seen so far, one should quickly see that the “proof of salvation” has been refocused upon the works of the individual, having been taken off of the sufficient work of the Savior. It is easy to see that for those who believe in the Perseverance of the Saints, this doctrine holds the hands of assurance closely, often causing them to vacillate. An example can be seen in remarks involving assurance that are made by John Piper, a prominent proponent of the Perseverance of the Saints. He states, “I know people, and I would say this about myself, for whom the greatest threat to my perseverance and my ultimate salvation is the slowness of my sanctification. It’s not theoretical questions like ‘Did He rise from the dead?’ or the problem of evil. I’ve got answers. But why I sin against my wife the same at age 62 that I did at age 42 causes me sometimes to doubt my salvation or the power of the Holy Spirit.”[8]Notice that Piper’s doubts are due to his inability to perform at a higher (more sinless) level. For him, his works are in view, and being as such, Christ’s finished work is not. Focusing on our personal works will always lead to doubts about one’s eternal destiny because we know that the standard is too high and that even our greatest works fall far short. Only Christ can give us the assurance that we need. We must look to Him only, always!Doctrinal ConsiderationsJustificationbefore God is an essential doctrine of Christianity that is closely linked with imputed righteousness and eternal security. Justification, which is sometimes referred to as “positional sanctification,” is when God declares one righteous because they have responded in faith to Jesus Christ. The merits for acceptance by Him are those of Christ. One’s faith is simply the channel by which those merits are applied. This means that God now sees the believer in Christ as one who is positionally spotless and blameless in His sight (though this does not mean that our daily practice is such, which is referred to as our progressive sanctification).The connection between justification and eternal security is an inseparable one. J.I. Packer writes, “God’s justifying decision is the judgment of the Last Day, declaring where we shall spend eternity, brought forward into the present and pronounced here and now. It is the last judgment that will ever be passed on our destiny; God will never go back on it, however much Satan may appeal against God’s verdict (Zech. 3:1; Rev. 12:10; Rom. 8:33–34). To be justified is to be eternally secure (Rom. 5:1–5; 8:30).The necessary means, or instrumental cause, of justification is personal faith in Jesus Christ as crucified Savior and risen Lord (Rom. 4:23–25; 10:8–13). This is because the meritorious ground of our justification is entirely in Christ.”[9]This leads us to the imputed righteousness of Christ toward the believer.If an understanding of justification were not enough, the doctrine of the imputation of Christ’s righteousnessshould settle the issues surrounding “losing one’s salvation.” The word “imputation” means “charging to an account, used in the Bible with legal reference to sin and salvation being recorded by God… ‘to set down in a record or a ledger.’ In relation to the doctrine of salvation the word is consistently used in a legal sense.”[10]Christ has died for the sin of the world (John 1:29), satisfying the debt of sin by His blood (Rom 3:25a), and making the very righteousness of God a firm reality for the one who believes in Christ (Rom 3:21-22). This shows that the necessary and effectual work has been done by Jesus Christ, and our acceptance of this glorious truth as being the channel of faith which applies His work to our accounts before God. Jesus has taken and paid for our sin successfully. In turn, He credits us with His righteousness, being the very righteousness of God Himself. Second Corinthians 5:21 states it this way: “He (God) made Him (Jesus) who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that (REASON GIVEN) we (those who believe) might become the righteousness of God in Him (Jesus).” To say that one can either lose or forfeit their salvation would be to say that the righteousness of God which had been “charged to the account” of the one who believed could be suddenly rescinded. Since those who believe in Jesus have been given the “right to become children of God” (John 1:12b), this means that the believing one has ownership (rights) in this claim to be God’s child. To suddenly remove this standing is nothing short of theft, leaving the believer an orphan. Such an act would establish the believer’s sin, or apathy, or waywardness, or negligence, or whatever has led to their acceptance being revoked as containing more power than the promises of God in declaring us righteous. The power of Christ’s sacrifice on the cross in redeeming us would be a loan at best. Such thinking is blasphemous and paints God’s redemptive acts in the same light as pawn shop merchandise and thrift store seconds. In our previous study, there was much to be considered regarding the believer’s relationship with the Holy Spirit, especially in the change of relationship that happened with the institution of the Church Age Dispensation (Acts 2:3-4). Jesus had previously stated that the Spirit was with the disciples (John 14:17b) but was also quick to say that He would soon be “in you” once the Son of Man was glorified (John 7:39; John 14:17c). Unless Jesus left them, they would not benefit from this new intimacy that He was sending to them (John 16:7). Now that the Holy Spirit takes up residence within the one who believes in Christ, and if it were possible that one could lose their salvation, would we not be concluding that our will or sin would have the ability to evict the Holy Spirit of God from our being? Would this not make the guarantee of Christ in sending the Spirit to be in us “forever” (John 14:16b) a false statement? If this were true, how could we trust anything that God has told us? It should be obvious that such thinking is thoroughly disconnected from what has been plainly stated in God’s Word.The Common ObjectionThere are many who rail against eternal security, stating that if someone believes that they will never lose their salvation, it automatically becomes a license to sin. If there is no threat of the possibility of eternal damnation hanging over the believer’s head, they will become “hell-raisers,” since they are without restraint or consequences. This assumption is common, but unfounded. First, at the moment of faith, the Holy Spirit indwells the one who believes. This alone makes the person different, with God Himself ready to change that person to be more conformed to the image of Christ from the inside out (Rom 8:29). This is when the longing “for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation” (1 Pet 2:2) should begin taking place.Second, the freeness of salvation and the security that Christ promises should yield a response of gratitude if understood correctly. Grace is costly to God, but it is absolutely free to us. We have undeservingly been rescued from a certain destiny in the Lake of Fire, and the means of securing such a glorious pardon were provided by the perfect Life and sufficient death of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary. The only reason why this blessed doctrine would yield a life of havoc and chaos would be largely because the Church failed to teach sound Bible doctrine to their congregants in love and truth. Discipleship is commanded by the Lord Jesus (Matt 28:18-20) and this relationship should be saturating the local church, aa s believer is teachinanother g believer all that Christ commanded. It is life invested into life in order to cultivate Life in the here and now. Third, to claim that there are “no consequences” for a wayward believer’s actions is to dismiss the seriousness of the Bema, the Judgment Seat of Christ. This is where believers will “be recompensed for his deeds in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad” (2 Cor 5:10). The Christian Life is a time of stewardship for the believer, where he and she are training now for an opportunity to reign with Christ in the Kingdom to come (2 Tim 2:12a; Rev 2:26-27). This recompense (literally- “to pay back”) is in response to our deeds, “whether good or bad.” Don’t miss this last part. Both good and bad that we have done while believers on Earth will be paid back by the Lord. Those good things will be rewarded (1 Cor 3:14) but those they things that are bad will bring us shame. However, such shame is regret for not living for Christ in opportunities where we could have been greatly used by Him for His glory and purposes. It is not a loss of salvation as Paul makes clear (1 Cor 3:15). Additionally, just because one is a believer in Christ does not mean that earthly consequences for wrong actions have been exempted. We are all still responsible. Finally, and most importantly, the Bible teaches otherwise. At no point in any passage of any book of the Bible do we see that someone can lose their salvation. It simply isn’t there.Well, what about that one passage…Those who believe that you can lose your salvation have certain “go-to” passages that seem to state that someone can be lost again. A favorite would be the passages that refer to “falling away” (Matt 13:21; 24:10; Mark 4:17; Luke 8:13; 1 Tim 4:1; Heb 3:12). In each of these passages, a consideration of the context will show that a believer losing their salvation is NOT what is being discussed. While many would disagree, a “backsliding” Christian is a real thing, though biblically we would consider them “not walking in the Spirit” or “out of fellowship with the Lord.”Another set of passages that is often referred to is Hebrews 6:4-6 and 10:26-27. In each of these, again, context points to the Christian who is being negligent of the salvation that they already have. In Hebrews, the issue is that the Christians that are being written to are considering returning to Judaism in order to avoid being persecuted for their faith in Christ. The unknown author of this book writes to show them that all that they would be returning to (the Law, Moses, angels, sacrificial system, etc.) are inferior compared to what they now have in Christ because Christ is the fulfillment of all of these things. He proceeds in showing them that there is divine discipline for disobedience, but great reward for faithfulness unto Christ Jesus during this difficult time. Both of these passages can be easily cleared up when the big picture is in mind.Again, though the Bible does teach a loss of reward for unfaithfulness to Christ, it does not teach a loss of one’s salvation.Just how secure am I?The Scriptures have unfolded a glorious “union within a union” that takes place the moment that one trusts in Jesus Christ.#1- Christ IN YouColossians 1:25-27; 3:3. The mystery that was previously hidden but has now been made known is the mystery of the Church Age and the fact of the indwelling Christ in the believer. We must understand that neither Chrit, nor the Holy Spirit for that matter, ever indwelled anyone prior to the beginning of the Church Age dispensation in Acts 2. But the Church is His Body, and He is its Head (Col 1:18). This was a glorious truth that was previously unknown ithe n Old Testamet, but is now fully disclosed (mainly through the writings of Paul, but not exclusively).Christ is IN the believer, and His residing IN the believer is our hope of glory! MacDonald notes, “We have no other title to heaven than the Savior Himself. The fact that He indwells us makes heaven as sure as if we were already there.”[11]This truth is only enhanced in Colossians 3:3, where we see that our life is hidden with Christ in God. This is our eternal union with the Son and the Father, which speaks to our glorious position of acceptance that we received when we believed.#2- The Indwelling of the Holy SpiritEphesians 1:13. The Apostle Paul tells us plainly that we were “sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise.” This verse draws our attention to the “ordo salutis” (order of salvation) where one hears the Word about Christ, believes that Word, and is instantaneously placed “in Christ,” while simultaneously receiving the indwelling of the Holy Spirit, Who seals the believer “as a pledge of our inheritance” (Eph 1:14). A good transition verse that covers the believer’s sealing with the Holy Spirit at the moment of faith and their instantaneous relocation to being “in Christ” is seen in 2 Corinthians 1:21-22which reads “Now He who establishes us with you in Christand anointed us is God, who also sealed usand gave us the Spirit in our hearts as a pledge.” This word “pledge” is significant, meaning “an earnest, i.e. money which in purchases is given as a pledge that the full amount will subsequently be paid.”[12]The Holy Spirit of God resides in the believer forever (John 14:16b) as a promise of the great glorification to come.#3- The Believer is IN ChristEphesians 1:3-14. While v.13-14 are addressed above, we cannot read this passage without being struck by the importance and blessing of being “in Christ,” “in the Beloved,” and “in Him.” This is the glorious position that the Body of Christ has as a present reality.Romans 6:11, 23. Paul tells us that we are “alive to God IN Christ Jesus” (6:11). This is because LIFE is found only in Christ Jesus, being something that existed with Him before the world began (John 1:4). In 6:23, we see the same thing: Eternal Life is IN Jesus Christ.#4- The Believer is IN the Father, IN ChristColossians 3:3; John 10:29. Christ, who IS our Life has hidden us with Himself in God the Father. The Father has a grasp on us that is equal to that of the Son. We are safeguarded within Him and held tightly by Him.The believer is indwelt with Christ Jesus and the Holy Spirit at the moment of faith, while simultaneously made alive and placed “in Christ” as a new spiritual location before the Father, in whom the believer also finds him or herself resting, being fully immersed and gripped by His grace.Let us close with the wonderful words of assurance from the Apostle Paul: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” -Romans 8:38-39.Rejoice![1]Charles C. Bing, Lordship Salvation: A Biblical Evaluation and Response, 2ndEdition(Xulon Press, 2010), p. 58. [2]D. L. Moody, The D. L. Moody Year Book: A Living Daily Message from the Words of D. L. Moody, ed. Emma Moody Fitt (East Northfield, MA: The Bookstore, 1900), p. 229–230.[3]Michael S. Heiser and Vincent M. Setterholm, Glossary of Morpho-Syntactic Database Terminology(Lexham Press, 2013; 2013).[4]Daniel Wallace, Greek Grammar: Beyond the Basics (Grand Rapids: Zondervan Academic, 1996), p. 468.[5]Ibid. [6]A.T. Robertson, Word Pictures in the New Testament(Nashville, TN: Broadman Press, 1933), Jn 10:28.[7]George F. Pentecost, The Fundamentals: A Testimony of the Truth, vol. 4, ed. R.A. Torrey (Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software, 2005), p. 276–277.[8]As quoted by Philip F. Congdon, “John Piper’s Diminished Doctrine of Justification and Assurance,” Journal of the Grace Evangelical Society, Vol 23(2010), p. 61, footnote 3.[9]J. I. Packer, Concise Theology: A Guide to Historic Christian Beliefs(Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House, 1993), p. 165.[10]Bruce A. Demarest, “Imputation,” Baker Encyclopedia of the Bible(Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1988), p. 1024.[11]William MacDonald, Believer’s Bible Commentary: Old and New Testaments, ed. Arthur Farstad (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1995), p. 1999.[12]Thayer, Greek-English Lexicon, p. 75.

we find that vegas insiders actually play those silly Prop Bets, Jeremy gets mad that Millenials are judging him based on how many spaces he places after a period, Matt Cross is mad at the publication that named him two-time entertainer of the year. Joe Callero stops by to recount what happened when a fan had a heart attack at a game. and Dr. Ricky Volpe (The Doctor of Trivia) stops by to test the listeners. Don't forget you can reach the podcast live at 805-543-3693 between 6-10 Pacific Time. If you are a subscriber you get to Ask Us Anything and we will answer it to the best of our abilities. You might even make it live on the radio :) 0:00 to 8:11 Did Buffalo Wild Wings steal Gary Eberle's idea for a great promotion? 8:11 to 16:15 Lyft rider who got blotto thought his neighbor's house was his. 16:15 to 24:04 Nothing says I love you like two-day-old Donuts in the mail. 24:05 to 30:21 Super Bowl Prop bets, Vegas insiders have a strategy. 30:21 to 39:08 Jeremy is taking this "Two spaces after the period thing" way too personal. 39:08 to 43:49 Unfortunately a doctor and a bar owner really cannot clear up the "space after a comma" controversy. 43:49 to 48:46 Matt takes issue with the journalistic integrity of the New Times and some of the facts that were misrepresented on a review of the Broad Street Public House 48:46 to 61:15 Joe Callero recaps that night a couple weeks ago when a fan had to CPR on the team's bench and a look forward to the Fullerton matchup. 61:15 to 71:20 Trivia with Dr. Ricky Volpe takes center stage on the podcast and every Sunday night @ 5 at the Broad Street Public House. 71:20 to 76:48 The most awkward segment of the Woods Humane Society Adopt a Pet of the Week. 76:48 to 81:40 If you are a Bluegrass Pearl Jam Cover Band in need of a name, this is your reward for listening to this entire podcast!

Language evolves over time, but you need to know the rules before you can break them. 8th grade English teacher Josh Lappin helps give us all a much needed Grammar lesson. Listen up - it might just help you talk really good. Also, there's a surprise call form Charles Laquidara!

If you consider Jesus your high priest, you disqualify the Law. If, on the other hand, you qualify the Law, then you disqualify Jesus.  Sounds strange, I know. So let me back it up, and let’s see if we can find freedom from the rules + chains that often shackle us to religion rather than freeing us TO relationship.  Why? Because, at the end of the day, you were designed for relationship- not rule-keeping.   Sacrifices reminded people of sin but never fixed the problem  Sacrifices were made in Israel every single day. Yes, bigger offerings were made at the three larger feasts on specific days (Passover, Pentecost, and Tabernacles), but the sacrificial fire never went out.  According to the Bible, sacrifice wasn't a reminder of grace but a reminder of guilt. It was a reminder of sin for the people (Hebrews 10:3), because it was impossible for sin to be removed by the blood of an  animal (Hebrews 10:4).  You read that right. The sacrificial system didn’t resolve sin. It reminded people of it. In the same way, religion doesn’t resolve shame, it reminds people of their shortcomings.  The author of Hebrews communicates this twice within just a few sentences- as if to emphasize it:  Notice Hebrews 10:3-4, “In these sacrifices there is a reminder of sins… for it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins” (ESV, emphasis added).  And, Hebrews 10:11, “Every priest stands ministering daily and offering repeatedly the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins” (emphasis added). Sacrifice was a regular thing and it didn’t actually remove sin. As people offered their sacrifices they weren't reminded of forgiveness, they were reminded of their failures- of how they’d fallen short.  (Somehow, we’ve imported this teaching into the Church haven’t we? We teach the Cross and hope it makes people sense how bad they are, how they’ve fallen short- instead of showing them their potential!)   A perfect sacrifice was required, but still wasn’t enough The priests always examined the animals before they were sacrificed. The animals had to be perfect, spotless, without fault.  (By the way, when Pilate examined Jesus and “found no fault in Him,” he actually used the same language used to denote blameless, blemish-free lambs!) When the sacrifice was offered, the priest would exclaim, “Tetelestai,” that is, “It is done. It’s finished. It’s complete.” (Yeah, Jesus said this, too, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves…) Here's the most important detail. When the priest spoke, finished didn't mean “totally complete.” Remember, these sacrifices highlighted the need for a permanent resolution of the ongoing “sin issue.” They were simply reminders of sin with no effectual power to remove guilt and shame. Let’s go back to that word “finished” and explain what the priest meant, then…  In the same way we have different verb tenses in English, Greek and Aramaic speakers in Jesus’ day did, too. Particularly, verbs could be voiced in the “perfect” tense or the “imperfect” tense.  Grammatically, the imperfect tense means that the verb is a repeating action. It needs to be done again and again. For example-  Cutting grass is imperfect- mow your lawn today and you get the joy of doing it about a week from now Washing the dishes, bathing your kids, cleaning the house… yes, ongoing, endless jobs- all imperfect Your morning cup of coffee :-) All of these activities are imperfect. They are all repeating actions. They all need to be done again, sooner or later. The grass has to be cut every week, you’ve got to do the bath routine every day, and you need the cup of coffee… maybe every few hours :-) When the priest declared that a sacrifice was tetelestai… you got it… he in effect declared, “This is good… for now.” Since that sacrifice was a reminder of sin, the underlying thought was, “Yes, for now. But this isn’t completely resolved.” Or- “This will never really be resolved. You won’t ever get ahead.” It’s kinda like that clunky feeling you get when you’re living paycheck-to-paycheck and manage to get the mortgage payment made the day before the late fees kick in. It’s paid, but you know that another payment is due… soon. While you feel some relief, the relief is temporary. Within hours the next payment is due, and you find yourself scrambling again.  You might find yourself in a constant state of scramble :-(  Sacrifice operated that way for centuries. It was done- but needed to be done again.  And again.  And again.  And again…   One final sacrifice? As He offered Himself as the final sacrifice for sin, Jesus deliberately used the same words the priest would declare after sacrifice (“It is finished”) except that Jesus used the perfect tense of the word, meaning that the action was complete, never to be done again.  People will continue to get haircuts and wash their dogs- but they will never offer a payment for sins again.  Anyone standing at the foot of the Cross who was familiar with the sacrificial process would have caught the nuance. Jesus took a familiar declaration, something they were all accustomed to hearing, and changed it.  That change has profound implications. Whereas the blood of the animals in the sacrificial system reminds us of our sin, that we have fallen short of God’s glory; the blood of Jesus serves as a final reminder of victory and finality.   Hebrews 9:22 tells us that “without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sins.” The word used for remission is not the same verbiage we use for “cancer is in remission.” When a doctor tells us this, we know it may come back. We pray that it “stays in remission,” the implication being that it might not. That’s more akin to the imperfect tense the high priest used.  The Greek word for remission means “dismissal, release.” It is final. Absolute. Perfect. Without the shedding of blood there is no remission of sins.  Notice this, though: with the shedding of blood there is no sin. It’s eradicated.  David paints us a mental picture of this truth when he declares that God separates our sin as far as the east is from the west (Psalm 103:12). Envision a globe. Start anywhere on the globe and go in a straight line to the North Pole. At some point, if you continue moving, you’ll eventually begin traveling South…  North becomes South becomes North becomes South… East and West never meet, though. You can go East or West indefinitely. That’s how far away your sin has been removed from you.  When Jesus declares, “Tetelestai” in the perfect tense, He’s giving us that kind of image. You’re separated from sin, but connected to your Heavenly Father. You won’t be tangled in sin again tomorrow… or ever. It’s too far gone. The work is complete. In fact, the work is so complete that if you try to add anything to it, you actually hijack the freedom you’ve been given. Let me explain…   The catch-22 of the new priesthood All Christians believe that “Jesus is our high priest.” We learn this straight from the New Testament.  Hebrews tells us: “We do have such a high priest, who sat down at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in heaven” (Hebrews 8:1 NIV, emphasis added). I’ve never met a Christian who disagrees with this.  Furthermore, I've never met a Christian who doesn't believe that our high priest has completed His work. As such, He now sits at the right hand of God (Hebrews 10:11-12). We learned in the previous chapter that we’re actually seated with Him.  Interestingly enough, there is no mention of a chair in the Tabernacle- or the Temple. The priests stood ministering night and day, constantly atoning for sin. However, when Jesus finished His work, it was complete- once for all time. Accordingly, He sat down (Hebrews 1:3).  The same passages that tell us these fundamentals…  Jesus is our high priest, and Our high priest has completed His work These same passages also tell us something shocking- “If He were on earth, He would not be a priest at all” (Hebrews 8:4 ESV, emphasis added).  That's right. Don’t miss what you just read- Jesus would not be a priest in the Tabernacle or Temple.  Hebrews tells us that He actually entered Heaven- and that the Moses’ Tabernacle served as an earthly reflection of Heaven (Hebrews 8:5f.). In other words, the priests on earth were only enacting what Jesus was doing from the Cross and His throne.  (I know… the “time” issue… they performed their duties before Jesus. Yes, technically… But, from an eternal perspective, from a point-of-view that stands outside of time, the timeline is irrelevant, right?)  The Old Testament priesthood demonstrated to people what Jesus was  actually doing in a way that they could understand. This is why animal sacrifices never could atone for sins. They were simply shadows- copies- of the real thing that was coming. Shadows reveal but can never replace their creator. Think about it like this. If I want to remove a burden from you, something massive that you are carrying… I can show you my shadow or reflection to demonstrate how I might remove that burden, but the shadow can’t actually do it- no matter how close you are to that shadow. To remove the burden, I need to step in myself and lift it!  The sacrificial system was a shadow, an outline, of the person yet to come.    Do you disqualify Jesus or do you disqualify the Law? Read the following and then we’ll make sense of it (Hebrews 7:12-14):  “For the priesthood being changed, of necessity there is also a change of the law. For He of whom these things are spoken belongs to another tribe, from which no man has officiated at the altar. For it is evident that our Lord arose from Judah, of which tribe Moses spoke nothing concerning priesthood.” There are two big ideas I want to highlight for you here-  First, Jesus was not be qualified to be a priest under the Old Covenant. Per Moses and the Law, all priests must be Levites- yet Jesus clearly comes from the line of Judah (Hebrews 7:14).  This tracks with what we learned in Hebrews 8:4, that Jesus wouldn't be a priest on earth. He couldn't be. He didn’t have the correct credentials.  Second, since Jesus actually is our priest, and because He is not qualified to be a priest under the stipulations of the Law, the Law must change (Hebrews 7:12). And, it has to change for forever, because Jesus is now a priest for eternity (7:18,24). Do you see what’s happening here?  If you appeal to Jesus as your priest (which is wise, because He consistently lives to intercede for you and “save you completely,” according to Hebrews 7:25), then you cannot defer to any part of the Law. Why?  Because Jesus isn’t a priest under the Old Covenant. He’s a priest under the New Covenant.  In other words, you’ve got to make a choice:  Accept Jesus = you disqualify the Law Accept the Law = you disqualify Jesus as your high priest Or, to say it another way, “Accept the real thing and you’ve let go of the  shadow. Hold fast to the shadow, and you won’t be able to grab the real thing…” Leads me to this…  The Law is now obsolete (see Hebrews 8:7-13). God told people He would make a new covenant, a different kind of covenant than the one He made with the forefathers (Hebrews 8:9). In doing this, the writer of Hebrews tells us, He has rendered the first covenant obsolete (8:13). He’s placed an expiration date on it, thereby making you whole. Now. __________________ Links mentioned in this talk-  The free eBook, Redemption: https://www.overflowfaith.com/p/redemption-e-book  Or, grab the actual book on Amazon at http://amzn.to/2EdbdKD  

Here’s how to improve your English listening skills when listening to my video: put the headphones on, playback the video and write it all down while listening to it! Video Transcript Below: Hi guys, it’s Robby here from EnglishHarmony.com and welcome back to my video blog! In today’s video we’re going to discuss the correctness […] The post Should We Make Sure Everything We Say Is Grammatically Super-correct? My Opinion on Correct English! appeared first on English Harmony.

Not only is Paulo’s sister beautiful, looks like Paulo thinks he is pretty good looking too! In this lesson we learn how to give a complement, and ask someone what he or she thinks about things. Grammatically, we take on possessive pronouns (my, your, his, her, etc.).DialogueA: Nossa, Paulo, sua irmã é linda! B: Você acha? E o irmão dela? Lindo também, não é? A: Você tem outro irmão? B: Não, só eu! A: Wow, Paulo, your sister is beautiful! B: You think so? And how about her brother? Good looking too, right? A: You’ve got another brother? B: No, it’s me!

Not only is Paulo’s sister beautiful, looks like Paulo thinks he is pretty good looking too! In this lesson we learn how to give a complement, and ask someone what he or she thinks about things. Grammatically, we take on possessive pronouns (my, your, his, her, etc.).DialogueA: Nossa, Paulo, sua irmã é linda! B: Você acha? E o irmão dela? Lindo também, não é? A: Você tem outro irmão? B: Não, só eu! A: Wow, Paulo, your sister is beautiful! B: You think so? And how about her brother? Good looking too, right? A: You’ve got another brother? B: No, it’s me!

In this episode, you’re going to learn about the silly reason why split infinitives were for a time considered incorrect grammatically. Don’t miss future episodes of this podcast, subscribe here: iTunes | RSS/XML You can also find more episodes by going here: Daily Knowledge Podcast The post Podcast Episode #74: The Reason Split Infinitives Were For a Time Considered Incorrect Grammatically appeared first on Today I Found Out.

Stative verbs - McLanguage change Hi and welcome to another great grammar lesson from New English Academy. I’m your host, Giles Parker, and today we’re going to learn about stative verbs, and in particular, how that famous burger chain, McDonalds has shown that grammar rules can change. This lesson is aimed at intermediate learners but anyone can learn something new from the vocabulary or the grammar, or just practice listening and reading comprehension. As usual, you can get the full online interactive comprehension, vocabulary and grammar explanations, the games and the tests at our website NewEnglishAcademy.com. Let me know if you like this lesson or any of the others by sending me an email or rating this on iTunes or Stitcher Radio. The more I know what you guys like, the better I can make lessons for you. Here in the beautiful Green Heart of Italy, I recently saw a sign of an invasion from another culture – a large McDonalds sign with its golden arches next to a main road advertising a new McDrive restaurant. I’m surprised because fast-food isn’t very popular here. My neighbors ask – why do you want to eat fast? The next nearest McDonalds is about 50 minutes’ drive away.  McDonalds is being very brave in trying to start a restaurant here.  Just my two cent’s worth, but I don’t think it will succeed here. American fast-food chains moving into other cultures isn’t really new news, but did you know that McDonalds has also had an effect on the English language too? This really means it is a successful business, just like that new verb ‘to Google’. Recently McDonalds disagreed with the Oxford English dictionary about the meaning of ‘McJob’ which still means a job that doesn’t pay well and that has little future. In the USA, you can have a large house that is not well built and costs too much and that your friends call a ‘McMansion’.  You can find this in the Oxford English Dictionary too! These new words are nouns. But McDonalds, willingly or unwillingly, has also popularised a new grammar rule. Their very successful advertising slogan says “i’m lovin’ it.” There – even my Microsoft Word underlines the slogan in red, showing there is something here with which it disagrees. Actually, there are two problems here – can you guess what they are? One problem is with the punctuation. Usually, first person singular ‘I’ is a capital letter. I know it is more fashionable with some people to use a lower-case ‘i’. Personally I don’t use it and I don’t recommend using it when writing something formal.  Maybe McDonalds started using it more than 10 years ago in order to be fashionable with younger people who were also starting to use lower-case ‘i’ in texts and messages to each other. But the other problem is a grammatical problem - about the verb, ‘to love’. Usually, this is a stative verb. A stative verb is a verb that doesn’t talk about an action or something that you do. Instead, stative verbs talk about a state, or a way of being, maybe something more internal, something inside you, but not an action. Stative verbs talk about emotions, appearances, preferences, mental states, possessions, and measurements. Grammatically, you can’t usually make a stative verb like ‘to love’ into the continuous or progressive by adding ‘to be’ and ‘ing’. For most native speakers, that usually sounds very strange.  Some people say it just isn’t correct.   McDonalds is showing us that grammar rules change and that in this case we can use a stative verb with ‘to be’ and ‘ing’. This doesn’t make it active, like you are really doing it, but perhaps it gives a sense of action to an emotion, or a preference, etc. This makes the internal state more immediate, more ‘now’. Perhaps McDonalds is using old words in new ways to give new meanings. The future is looking good for some stative verbs. Many people say they’re hating something rather than they hate it. Or, they’re thinking or feeling something rather than they think or feel it. McDonalds has certainly made a lot of money from showing that grammar rules can change.  I wonder what other companies help change language? Maybe I should google that.

How to Write Grammatically Correct Photo Captions

Part 1 “What is a Christian Church?” Various Scriptures For one to have a clear understanding of the church, one must explore the church: 1. Grammatically ekklesia: an assembly of people gathered together The ekklesia can be...

Part 1 “What is a Christian Church?” Various Scriptures For one to have a clear understanding of the church, one must explore the church: 1. Grammatically ekklesia: an assembly of people gathered together The ekklesia can be...

Just look at that barriga! Clearly the polite thing to do, at least in Brazil, would be to have a special line at banks, post offices, and supermarkets for those that have 'special' needs. However, the other day, in this condition, with that barriga, Michelle had to wait in line at the U.S. post office just like one of the 'regular' people. Grammatically, Orlando seems to love topic-comment patterns almost too much. Is it possible that grammar is really that interesting?

asset title: Grammar Lesson 11: Topic-Comment Patterns, Special Needs Privileges filename: tafalado_gra_11.mp3 track number: 37/46 time: 12:01 size: 8.46 MB bitrate: 96 kbps Just look at that barriga! Clearly the polite thing to do, at least in Brazil, would be to have a special line at banks, post offices, and supermarkets for those that have 'special' needs. However, the other day, in this condition, with that barriga, Michelle had to wait in line at the U.S. post office just like one of the 'regular' people. Grammatically, Orlando seems to love topic-comment patterns almost too much. Is it possible that grammar is really that interesting?DialogPortugueseMichelle: Você acredita que eu fiquei quase duas horas na fila do correio ontem? Lá no Brasil, as grávidas, elas têm preferência.Valdo: Mas aqui os idosos, as grávidas e as mulheres com crianças de colo, eles não têm prioridade nenhuma.Michelle: Pois é, ainda bem que no Brasil isso é lei. Meu pai, por exemplo, ele sempre pega a fila dos idosos no banco.Valdo: Por falar nisso, no Brasil um amigo meu, ele sempre leva a mãe idosa pro banco só pra não pegar fila.Michelle: Eh, no Brasil as pessoas, às vezes, elas usam e abusam desse direito.Valdo: Mas por outro lado, os cidadãos americanos, eles não têm essas facilidades.SpanishMichelle: ¿Tú crees que tenía que esperar casi dos horas en la fila del correo ayer? En el Brasil, las mujeres embarazadas tienen preferencia.Valdo: Pero aquí los mayores, las embarazadas y las mujeres que tienen niños pequeños no tienen ninguna prioridad.Michelle: Así es, lo bueno es que en el Brasil eso existe por ley. Mi papá, por ejemplo, siempre entra en la fila de los mayores de edad que hay en el banco.Valdo: Hablando de eso, en el Brazil un amigo mío siempre lleva a su mamá al banco para no tener que esperar en la fila.Michelle: Sí, en el Brazil, hay personas, a veces, que usan y abusan de ese derecho.Valdo: Pero por otro lado, los ciudadanos americanos no tienen estas facilidades.EnglishMichelle: Can you believe that I had to wait nearly two hours in the line at the post office yesterday? In Brazil pregnant women are given preferred treatment.Valdo: But here the elderly, pregnant women, and women with small children don't seem to have any priority.Michelle: Right, it's a good thing that in Brazil this is the law. My father, for example, always gets in the elderly line at that bank.Valdo: Speaking of which, I have a friend in Brazil who always takes his elderly mother to the bank with him so that he won't have to wait in line.Michelle: Yea, in Brazil sometimes there are people who use and abuse this right.Valdo: But on the other hand, Americans don't have these options.