Podcasts about imperfection let go

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Best podcasts about imperfection let go

Latest podcast episodes about imperfection let go

Captivated
E124 | Recovering the Beauty God Placed Within Us

Captivated

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2026 50:47


In Part 2 of this conversation, Stasi welcomes back Blaine Eldredge, Director of Spiritual Formation at Wild at Heart, to continue unpacking the mystery of beauty—the beauty that flows from our intimacy with Jesus. Together they explore the vulnerability and courage it takes to let our true selves be seen in a world that wounds beauty so deeply, and the healing ways Jesus continues to draw near with tenderness, restoration, and a love that calls out the beauty within us. Come and rediscover the beauty of God alive in us.…..SHOW NOTES:…..VERSES: John 15:9 (NIV) – As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.1 John 4:19 (NIV) – We love because he first loved us.John 8:3–11 (NIV) – The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ... Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”Hosea 2:19 (NIV) – I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion.Romans 8:22 (NIV) – We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.Revelation 21:5 (NIV) – He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”…..CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS00:00 Returning to the Mystery of Beauty01:42 Beauty That Builds Relationship07:10 What True Beauty Really Is13:48 The Vulnerability of Being Seen18:50 Beauty That Risks Love24:03 Why the Enemy Attacks Beauty30:20 The Beauty of a Forgiving Heart33:22 Jesus and the Woman Accused38:47 What Jesus Does to Win Our Love43:08 Becoming Beautiful to Jesus46:07 Carrying Beauty Into Our Relationships47:24 Closing Prayer and Blessing…..RESOURCESIf you haven't listened to Part 1 — E123 | Beauty, Vulnerability, and the Heart of God — you can do so here: YouTube:  ⁠https://youtu.be/crrX6S-P5NI⁠Wild at Heart App:  ⁠https://wahe.art/3SfAXge⁠Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge   ⁠https://wahe.art/3L9tLMc⁠Becoming Myself: Embracing God's Dream of You by Stasi Eldredge  ⁠https://amzn.to/4hzdQUL⁠The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown ⁠https://amzn.to/4vk2NpW⁠…..Don't Miss Out on the Next Episode—Subscribe for FreeSubscribe using your favorite podcast app:YouTube – ⁠https://wahe.art/4h8DelL⁠Spotify Podcasts – ⁠https://wahe.art/496zdfn⁠Apple Podcasts – ⁠https://apple.co/42E0oZ1⁠ Amazon Music & Audible – ⁠https://amzn.to/3M9u6hJ⁠

Go Help Yourself: A Comedy Self-help Podcast to Make Life Suck Less
RE-RELEASE: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown

Go Help Yourself: A Comedy Self-help Podcast to Make Life Suck Less

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2025 54:54


This week on GHY, we're releasing another classic episode from the GHY archives. Originally released in 2021, Lisa & Misty review the #1 New York Times bestseller The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown.Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation - Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work.She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead, which is the culmination of a seven-year study on courage and leadership.Brené's TED talk - The Power of Vulnerability - is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 35 million views. She is also the first researcher to have a filmed talk on Netflix. The Call to Courage special debuted on the streaming service on April 19, 2019.In this Gifts of Imperfection book review podcast, we talk about what the gifts of imperfection are, each of the guideposts Brené lays out for wholehearted living, and what can get in the way. If you'd like to learn more about the author, you can do so here. You can also buy the book here. Here are the other GHY episodes we mention during this review:Come As You AreHow to Take Smart NotesHow to Be an ImperfectionistAnd don't forget to grab your merch here!Please subscribe, rate, and review Go Help Yourself!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

The Horoscope Vault Astrology Podcast
October Horoscope & Zodiac Book Picks for National Book Month

The Horoscope Vault Astrology Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2024 28:03


Astro themes of October! (00:01:33) October 1st - 2nd: Correction.  The Sun Mercury cazimi and the Libra eclipse - Something is wrong. (00:02:42) October 3rd - 7th: Analysis.  Mercury square Mars creating challenge in decision making. (00:04:07) October 8th - 13th: Intuition Mercury in Libra trine Jupiter in Gemini - Manifesting time! (00:07:11) October 14th - 19th: The beginning of transformation Venus opposite Uranus - What or who is draining your wealth and energetic resources? (00:12:34) October 20th - 24th: Refinement Mercury trine Saturn rx - Get clear headed on things. (00:15:30) October 25th - 31st: Picking your battles Mars sextile Uranus - A boost of freedom Books!!! (00:18:19) Aries Book Picks: Purpose, destiny and evolution of networks. The Crossroads of Should and Must: Find and Follow Your Passion by Elle Luna. The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference by Malcolm Gladwell. (00:19:05) Taurus Book Picks: Being unapologetically the self and evolution of your professional goals. Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brené Brown The Lean Startup: How Today's Entrepreneurs Use Continuous Innovation to Create Radically Successful Businesses by Eric Ries (00:19:50) Gemini Book Picks: Making your own luck and intense spiritual growth The Luck Factor: The Four Essential Principles by Richard Wiseman The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer (00:20:20) Cancer Book Picks: Innovative visions and or Financial transformation Creative Confidence: Unleashing the Creative Potential Within Us All by Tom Kelley and David Kelley You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero (00:21:07) Leo Book Picks: Rebirth in alliances and the evolution of connections with others. Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown The Power of Connection: How Relationships Help Us Heal by Dr. David F. Drake (00:21:51) Virgo Book Picks: Deep focus on wellness and health regeneration. How Not to Die: Discover the Foods Scientifically Proven to Prevent and Reverse Disease by Dr. Michael Greger Lifeforce: How New Breakthroughs in Precision Medicine Can Transform the Quality of Your Life & Those You Love by Tony Robbins (00:22:53) Libra Book Picks: Taking a risk in making changes Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown The Art of Risk: The New Science of Courage, Caution, and Chance by Kayt Sukel (00:23:44) Scorpio Book Picks: Power struggles in work and/or family and rebirth of emotional foundations Family Ties That Bind: A Self-help Guide to Change Through Family of Origin Therapy by Dr. Ronald W. Richardson It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are by Mark Wolynn (00:24:20) Sagittarius Book Picks: Time is money and the evolution of managing your mindset Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness by Morgan Housel (00:25:05) Capricorn Book Picks: Control of wealth and developing motivated negotiations in partnerships  The Automatic Millionaire: A Powerful One-Step Plan to Live and Finish Rich by David Bachwhere Bach Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (00:25:58) Aquarius Book Picks: Rebirth of identity and unconventional self-reinvention The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear (00:26:41) Pisces Book Picks: Letting go of the past and empowerment through surrender The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life* by Mark Manson

love live art guide living happiness courage mars gifts financial wealth parent dare picking prevent tony robbins analysis crossroads greed jupiter mercury your life badass good life correction saturn zodiac caution making money libra james clear astro bren brown malcolm gladwell horoscope stand alone personal life subtle art tough conversations not giving big difference mark manson braving jen sincero morgan housel daring greatly way we live eric ries distracted world proven way build good habits michael a singer break bad ones focused success mark wolynn true belonging must find douglas stone deep work rules be vulnerable transforms sheila heen bruce patton entrepreneurs use continuous innovation book picks embrace who you are national book imperfection let go lead brave work sun mercury rosamund stone zander wilderness the quest create radically successful businesses who you think you money timeless lessons tom kelley discuss what matters most elle luna those you love finish rich precision medicine can transform kayt sukel die discover bren brown the power creative potential within us all risk the new science creative confidence unleashing fck a counterintuitive approach
This Changes Everything
EP70: Income Disparity, Dating After Loss, & Resisting Feedback

This Changes Everything

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 18, 2024 61:57


You had so many great questions last week that we're keeping the train going. Sarah's answering more of your questions and providing so many useful resources about: discussing income disparity and planning for the future in a relationship coping with heartbreak and bouncing back after a breakup dating after loss of a loved one navigating a friendship with someone who is resistant to feedback Keep your questions coming! We love hearing from you. This Changes Everything Voicemail: Record your question by calling ‪(313) 338-8828‬ Recommended in this episode: The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language -  Scott and Bethany Palmer Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things - Cheryl Strayed Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy - Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant  The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are - Brené Brown Sponsors: Get 15% off OneSkin with the code TCE at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod Go to greenchef.com/60tce and use code 60tce to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next two months. Go to beducate.me/everything-podcast to get 40% off the yearly pass with our Coupon Code: everything. Give it a try with a 24-hour free trial, and there's no risk because Beducated offers a 14-day money-back guarantee! Sarah's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/imsarahrice Sarah On Brain Candy: https://thebraincandypodcast.com More podcasts at WAVE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/artist/wave-podcast-network/1437831426 DISCLAIMER: This podcast offers information for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a qualified mental health provider for medical or mental health concerns. The host, guests, and network disclaim responsibility for any decisions or actions you make based on information provided by this podcast.  

The Guest House
To Author Our Way Home

The Guest House

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2024 16:10


Of the many invitations for mindful self-improvement that landed in my inbox at the turn of the year, one piqued my interest — a daily sensory incantation from . The instructions are simple: set a timer for five minutes and record, without interruption and preferably with pen and paper, “close, meticulous, external” notes on your immediate surroundings. No interpretations, no personal commentary, no embellishments allowed.Now here's the twist —Once the timer goes off, look over your fragments and find the five that are the most interesting, the most unique, the most jagged, the strangest. Imagine the paper is on fire and you can save only five fragments before it burns. Put a star by those. Now, read them out loud with the words “I am” in front of them (I am the morning light on the carpet, I am footsteps on the porch, I am rain splattering on the window, I am a baby crying).The primary aim of this practice is to translate sensory impressions of the particular onto the page. But it also points to a deeper incantation of ourselves as dynamic, mosaic creatures. It's a nod to the irreducible reality of who we are.Authenticity is a worthwhile study in this strange new world. Consumer research points to a longing for sincere human connection. Skepticism of the public arena is at an all-time high while our private lives have frayed from isolation and siloing, resulting in a degrading mistrust of those we identify as other.We are a culture sick of being sold and challenged to assess what's vital and honest behind everything and everyone we encounter. But what exactly is authenticity? Among researchers, it's a debated concept. Back in 2000, psychologists Michael Kernis and Brian Goldman distilled decades of scholarly work into a roadmap Authenticity Inventory. Their research landed on authenticity as “the unimpeded operation of one's core or true self in one's daily enterprise” as operationalized by four contributing factors: awareness, distortion-free (or unbiased) mental processing, ways of behaving, and relational orientation.  Despite the bumper sticker platitudes of pseudo-spirituality — follow your bliss! Speak your truth! You do you! — an important caveat about “relational orientation” must be made: authenticity is not an unalloyed good. If the goal were for everyone to express absolute congruence between their outer behavior and whatever developmental, psychological, and circumstantial access they might have to their “core or true self” at the current moment — well, God help us. Let's keep our most primal, unfiltered instincts and perspectives to ourselves, thank you very much.In my clinical training as a therapist, I often turned to the research of Brene Brown, who famously explores the emotions that make us human. Brown speaks here about authenticity as radical participation in our felt experience of life.“Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enough. Authenticity demands Wholehearted living and loving—even when it's hard, even when we're wrestling with the shame and fear of not being good enough, and especially when the joy is so intense that we're afraid to let ourselves feel it. Mindfully practicing authenticity during our most soul-searching struggles is how we invite grace, joy, and gratitude into our lives.”― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You AreBrene's words feel germane to the creative frontier on which many of us stand. Perhaps this is because being ourselves is an antidote to the erosive superficiality of our times; sorely, obviously needed, and yet too often relegated only to the safest harbors of our emotional lives. We feel orphaned from a sense of moral and social belonging. Yet authenticity remains among our most formidable teachers, demanding steadfast discipline, the maturation of vulnerability, courage, and forgiveness, and the grace of our mutual wholeheartedness. Many years ago, in the first season of our relationship, in an outstretched moment of indecision on my part, my now-husband, exasperated, exclaimed: “Will you please just say what you want to do?” I was startled by his question, even agitated. After a relatively successful launch into adulthood (I had a real job, after all), the truth was I had no idea what to do with an un-pressured Sunday afternoon and a considerate man asking about my desires. Knowing ourselves, much less being and expressing ourselves, is not our default. It hasn't been since we were very young. To study the origins of our estrangement, we begin with a tender revisit to that young part within us for whom the existence of magic was disproven. We review how our innate experience of wonder was truncated by loss, trauma, or neglect — or simply by the systematic message of our too-muchness. In a gradual and largely subconscious process, we learn to prune the unique signature of ourselves. First, we sense our social context. Then, we compartmentalize and subjugate the parts of ourselves we internalize as undesirable. We become adept at making bids for approval (a process of influencing others' perceptions that sociologist Erving Goffman aptly coined “impression management”). Over time, the Edenic qualities that might otherwise have ushered us into authentic expression dry up on the stalk, and we abandon the luminous wholeness with which we arrived.In other words, we adapt. It seems a matter of survival. A pleased teacher or parent, a nod from a boss, a compliment from a new acquaintance – any small gesture of allegiance can make us feel secure and optimal. Our nervous systems seem to approve of preserving and promoting only those parts that the world deems worthy of praise. Perfectionist values become our unacknowledged norm, subtly affirmed by those who groom us into adulthood.Underground go the needier parts, the messier parts — the brilliant, irreducible parts. “The only antidote to perfectionism is to turn away from every whiff of plastic and gloss and follow our grief, pursue our imperfections, and exaggerate our eccentricities until the things we once sought to hide reveal themselves as our majesty.”― Toko-pa Turner, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves HomeSelf-exile serves us for a while. We become palatable and productive and we reap the benefits. Eventually, though, those long-forgotten, chthonic parts begin to emerge. By some subconscious hand, they are unearthed and delivered like a pile of soiled bones to the back porch in early Spring.[I recently spoke with poet about revelation through a geologic lens.]We begin to test and taste the tin of our words and all we've left unspoken and feel the fatigue of triangulating around our native energies and desires. We realize the irony of shaping ourselves around implicit expectations only to earn enough caché to be ourselves. We recognize the limits of pleasing others as a currency of well-being, suffer the grief of inner scarcity, and feel the shame of chronic self-abandonment — and, ultimately, we feel our hunger for the true and holy gravity of belonging. “…The budstands for all things,even for those things that don't flower,for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;though sometimes it is necessaryto reteach a thing its loveliness,to put a hand on its browof the flowerand retell it in words and in touchit is lovelyuntil it flowers again from within, of self-blessing.”― Galway Kinnell, “Saint Francis and the Sow”Sometimes it's necessary to re-teach a thing its loveliness. It took years for my nervous system to relax enough to perceive my instincts for a Sunday afternoon. A slow cup of tea, a hike with my family, a cooking project, listening to Nina Simone while organizing a pantry… It took a gradual incantation of myself to myself and to those who cared enough to keep asking, season after season.Coming home to ourselves is a dedicated practice with the promise of profound alignment and personal agency. Classical yoga philosophy offers svādhyāya (a compound Sanskrit word composed of sva (स्व) "own, one's own, self, the human soul" + adhyāya (अध्याय) "a lesson, lecture, chapter; reading") as the fundamental study of our unmasking. It's a gradual process of yoking back to our most integrated, dynamic whole.“You see, I want a lot.Perhaps I want everythingthe darkness that comes with every infinite falland the shivering blaze of every step up.So many live on and want nothingAnd are raised to the rank of princeBy the slippery ease of their light judgmentsBut what you love to see are facesthat do work and feel thirst.You love most of all those who need youas they need a crowbar or a hoe.You have not grown old, and it is not too lateTo dive into your increasing depthswhere life calmly gives out its own secret.”― Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke's Book of Hours: Love Poems to GodAuthenticity is an essential kind of remembering. It's the art of coiling our attention inwardly, through layers of anxiety, fear, and shame, to the shelter of our original ownership. To author our way home, to make a song of this being human, first, we get in touch with our want to be ourselves – “to dive into [our] increasing depths.” Then, we commit our oar to the waters of radical self-honesty and become an authority on the subject of rowing against the current of our conditioning. We nurture ourselves courageously through the many mistakes and missteps along the way, making regular visits to the dirt altar of a forgiving heart. “Anyhow, the older I get, the less impressed I become with originality. These days, I'm far more moved by authenticity. Attempts at originality can often feel forced and precious, but authenticity has quiet resonance that never fails to stir me.”― Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond FearAuthenticity has a quiet resonance that never fails. We feel safest with those who are themselves in our company. Those rare friends who “need [us] as they need a crowbar or a hoe,” who reflect to us our worthiness to be beholden, become our particular kin. Gradually, like St. Francis' sow, we relearn the distinct manner of our loveliness. And thus, the life that's here can once again become a refuge of belonging.Today —[I am] freckles sprayed across an aging hand.[I am] the long-bodied breath of a sleeping dog.[I am] the small animal rustling in the arroyo.[I am] steam rising from a mug.[I am] the thick leaves of a fig in a clay pot. Get full access to The Guest House at shawnparell.substack.com/subscribe

Ask a House Cleaner
Making Space in Your Day for What Matters with Erica Wiederlight

Ask a House Cleaner

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 2, 2024 5:57


Making space for what truly matters can be a challenge. In this video, Angela Brown and coach Erica Wiederlight dive deep into the burnout phenomenon, specifically in businesses and high-stress professions such as the house cleaning industry. Angela and Erica create a roadmap for those feeling overwhelmed, explaining how to apply simple solutions and create personal protocols to avoid burnout. This involves carefully evaluating your time usage and investing in personal wellness activities such as gym workouts, journaling, or prayer. With planning and discipline, you can craft each day to include space for responsibilities and rejuvenation. Tune in to learn habits for maintaining mental and emotional well-being and combating burnout. Making Space in Your Day for What Matters Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Erica Wiederlight  01:10 Committing 14 Hours a Week to Self-Care  02:43 Overcoming Burnout and Feeling Fantastic 03:25 The Impact of Burnout in the Cleaning Industry 03:58 The Importance of Self-Validation and Resourcing RESOURCES ----------------- The 30 Day Abundance Challenge: Attract the Wealth You Deserve - https://amzn.to/3GZaMRW How to Start Your Own House Cleaning Company - https://amzn.to/3jHk4GL Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle - https://amzn.to/3uXaFU9 Burnout Recovery: 15 techniques to overcome chronic stress - https://amzn.to/3uTeoCn The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are - https://amzn.to/3tit5ON (When available, we use affiliate links and as Amazon Associates, we earn a commission on qualifying purchases.) *** RATE THIS PODCAST ***  https://ratethispodcast.com/askahousecleaner  *** TRAINING & CLEANING CERTIFICATION*** https://savvycleaner.com/join *** MOST REQUESTED LIST OF CLEANING STUFF I USE *** https://www.Amazon.com/shop/AngelaBrown  SOCIAL MEDIA --------------- *** CONNECT WITH ERICA ON SOCIAL MEDIA *** Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericawiederlight/ *** CONNECT WITH ANGELA ON SOCIAL MEDIA ***  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AskAngelaBrown Facebook: https://www.Facebook.com/AskAngelaBrown Twitter: https://Twitter.com/AskAngelaBrown Instagram: https://instagram.com/AskAngelaBrown Pinterest: https://Pinterest.com/AskAngelaBrown Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/AskAngelaBrown TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@askangelabrown Store: https://www.amazon.com/shop/AngelaBrown URL: https://AngelaBrown.com NEED MORE CLEANING HELP? ------------- *** GOT A QUESTION FOR A SHOW? *** Please email it to Angela[at]AskaHouseCleaner.com Voice Mail: Click on the blue button at https://askahousecleaner.com  *** PROFESSIONAL HOUSE CLEANERS PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP *** https://www.facebook.com/groups/ProfessionalHouseCleaners/ *** VRBO AIRBNB CLEANING FACEBOOK GROUP *** https://www.facebook.com/groups/VRBO.Airbnb.Cleaning/ *** LOOKING FOR A WAY TO GET MORE CLEANING LEADS *** https://housecleaning360.com SPONSORSHIPS & BRANDS ------------------- Today's #AskaHouseCleaner sponsor is #SavvyCleaner training and certification for house cleaners and maids. (https://savvycleaner.com/join) And your host today is #AngelaBrown - https://g.page/r/CbMI6YFuLU2GEBI/review *** ADVERTISE WITH US ***  We do work with sponsors and brands. If you are interested in working with us and you have a product or service that makes sense for the cleaning industry here's how to work with us -https://savvycleaner.com/brand-deals *** SAVVY CLEANER BRANDS ***  SAVVY CLEANER - House Cleaner Training and Certification – https://savvycleaner.com/join VRBO AIRBNB CLEANING – Cleaning tips and strategies for your short-term rental  https://TurnoverCleaningTips.com  FUNNY CLEANING SHIRTS – Incentive and thank-you gifts for house cleaners and maids. https://FunnyCleaningShirts.com  HOARDING WORLD - Helping you change your relationship with stuff https://HoardingWorld.com REALTY SUCCESS HUB - Helping you sell your home fast https://realtysuccesshub.com CREDITS -------------------------- Show Produced by: Savvy Cleaner: https://savvycleaner.com Show Host: Angela Brown Show Editor: Anna Nikitchuk Show Producer: Anna Nikitchuk

PerformHappy with Rebecca Smith
Keeping Kids Safe in the Sport of Gymnastics with Lisa Mitzel

PerformHappy with Rebecca Smith

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 5, 2023 51:01


In today's episode, we're honored to host Lisa Mitzel, a former elite gymnast, four-time NCAA champion, and esteemed mental performance coach. Our conversation revolves around the critical theme of ensuring the safety of young gymnasts in this demanding sport, coupled with a deep dive into the complexities of mental performance.Lisa's journey in gymnastics, from her elite athlete days to coaching at Stanford, brings a wealth of firsthand experiences. Safety takes center stage in our discussion, where Lisa provides valuable insights into creating a secure training environment. From appropriate warm-ups to supervised practice, she advocates for a holistic approach that safeguards athletes and sets the groundwork for enduring success.Beyond physical safety, Lisa delves into the mental aspects of gymnastics. As a mental performance coach, she shares practical strategies for strengthening mental resilience, addressing everything from competition stress to overcoming setbacks. Her anecdotes and expertise illuminate the transformative impact of a robust mental game in gymnastics, offering a guiding light for athletes at all levels.In this episode, Coach Rebecca and Lisa Mitzel talk about: How to Transform Gymnastics Culture.Empowering Gymnasts Through Decision-Making and Learning from Mistakes.Mental Health Education for Coaches. Fostering Autonomy.Unlocking Confidence with Essential Mental and Emotional Tools.Exploring Mental Training, Emotional Intelligence, and Resources from Lisa Mitzel.“You can't tell what's going on, on the inside when we are only looking at it from the outside.” Lisa Mitzel.References:Lisa Mitzel website:https://zentigermind.com/Dr. Lisa Damour - The emotional lives of teens:https://drlisadamour.com/books/the-emotional-lives-of-teenagers/Brené Brown PhD, The Gifts of Imperfection Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are:https://www.amazon.com.au/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X

How to Be Awesome at Your Job
914: Turning Awkwardness Into Your Greatest Asset with Henna Pryor

How to Be Awesome at Your Job

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2023 41:59


Henna Pryor reframes awkwardness and shows how we can turn it into a superpower. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) How not embracing awkwardness is hurting our performance. 2) How to work out your awkwardness muscles. 3) How to release the discomfort that follows awkward moments. Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep914 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT HENNA — Henna Pryor, PCC is 2x TEDx and Global Keynote Speaker, Workplace Performance Expert, Author, and Executive Coach. Her talks blend 2 decades of work with corporate leaders and teams, with a modern, science-based approach to taking more strategic risks and being braver in the work that we do. • Book: Good Awkward: How to Embrace the Embarrassing and Celebrate the Cringe to Become The Bravest You • Instagram: hennypryor • LinkedIn: Henna Pryor • Website: GoodAwkward.com — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: Americanah: A novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie • Book: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Bookey App 30 mins Book Summaries Knowledge Notes and More
The Gifts of Imperfection: Cultivating Wholeheartedness

Bookey App 30 mins Book Summaries Knowledge Notes and More

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2023 6:12


Chapter 1 What's The Gifts of ImperfectionThe book "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" by Brené Brown is a self-help and personal development book. It explores the concepts of vulnerability, courage, and worthiness, and encourages readers to let go of perfectionism and embrace their authentic selves. The author draws upon her research in shame, authenticity, and vulnerability to provide practical insights and strategies for cultivating self-compassion and wholehearted living. The book aims to guide readers in living a more fulfilling and authentic life.Chapter 2 Why is The Gifts of Imperfection Worth ReadThe Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown is worth reading for several reasons:1. Insightful exploration of vulnerability: Brown delves into the concept of vulnerability and its importance in our lives. She explains how embracing vulnerability can lead to greater connections with others and a more fulfilling life.2. Encouragement to embrace imperfections: Brown challenges the societal pressure to be perfect and provides advice for accepting our flaws and imperfections. This can be liberating for individuals who struggle with self-doubt or shame.3. Practical strategies for cultivating authenticity: The book offers practical exercises and strategies to help readers cultivate self-acceptance and authenticity. Brown shares methods for setting boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and building resilience.4. Engaging writing style: Brown's writing is accessible and engaging, making the book an enjoyable read. She incorporates personal anecdotes and relatable stories, which help to bring the concepts to life.5. Applicable to a wide range of readers: The messages in The Gifts of Imperfection can resonate with people from all walks of life. Whether you're struggling with self-esteem, relationships, or your professional life, Brown's insights can provide guidance and inspiration.Overall, The Gifts of Imperfection is worth reading because it offers a fresh perspective on embracing vulnerability, cultivating self-acceptance, and living an authentic life. It has the potential to empower and inspire individuals who are seeking personal growth and a deeper connection with themselves and others.Chapter 3 The Gifts of Imperfection Summary"The Gifts of Imperfection" by Brené Brown is a self-help book that explores the importance of embracing our imperfections and living a wholehearted life. Brown argues that society's expectations and pressures often lead us to strive for perfection, which ultimately leads to feelings of shame, worthlessness, and disconnection from ourselves and others.Brown introduces ten guideposts for cultivating a more authentic and fulfilling life. The guideposts include:1. Cultivating authenticity: Being true to ourselves and allowing others to see our true selves.2. Cultivating self-compassion: Extending kindness and understanding to ourselves, especially during difficult times.3. Cultivating resilience: Developing the ability to bounce back from setbacks and hardships.4. Cultivating gratitude and joy: Embracing the positive aspects of life and finding gratitude in everyday moments.5. Cultivating intuition and trusting faith: Using our intuition and embracing spirituality in order to make choices aligned with our true selves.6. Cultivating creativity: Allowing ourselves to be creative and express our unique gifts.7. Cultivating play and rest: Making time for activities that bring us joy and replenish our energy.8. Cultivating calm and stillness: Finding moments of quiet and stillness to recharge and reflect.9....

Mint Arrow Messages
Unpacking Authenticity

Mint Arrow Messages

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2023 29:48


Being "authentic" or "authenticity" can be frequently used (and sometimes even over-used) buzz words in our world currently. But I read something this week that made me totally re-think what authenticity actually means, which isn't just about trying to share unfiltered pictures or messy, imperfect moments of our lives. This definition goes deeper into self-acceptance and the way we act maybe even more importantly in our private lives and even the thought processes in our own minds and what it really takes to be able to sleep well at the end of the day knowing you stayed true to the person you are, completely and authentically. Time Stamps: [00:49] - What does it mean to be authentic? [05:57] - Corrine and Neil talk about letting go of expectations placed on yourself by you or others. [11:34] - How do you define the core of who you are? [15:16] - Feel all your feelings instead of trying to shove them away. [20:25] - Are you being honest with yourself? [24:32] - We're all figuring life out. Supporting Resources: "Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" Book by Brene' Brown Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Nice Podcast with Dave Delaney
#58 Storytelling, public speaking, and writing with Nick Westergaard

Nice Podcast with Dave Delaney

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2023 51:54


Nick Westergaard is an author, educator, and speaker. He's spent his career building standout brands at organizations of all sizes—from small businesses to Fortune 500 companies to President Obama's Jobs Council.  The Nice Podcast is brought to you by Futureforth.com. We teach leaders to improve employee retention, communication, and culture with the Nice Method™. What we talked about... Nick Westergaard's StoryLab program. Dave's guest appearance on Nick's podcast. Telling your story is foundational. The ability to craft, hone, and shape your story with others.  Stories that come from saying yes, saying no, and making mistakes. Story starter ideas. Storyworthy: Engage, Teach, Persuade, and Change Your Life through the Power of Storytelling by Matthew Dicks.  Generate stories by thinking of a theme. First _____ Last _____ Best _____ Worst _____ From blogging to books. Strategies for writing a book. Moth Storyslam. Advice for TEDx speakers.  Staging information. Talk Like TED: The 9 Public-Speaking Secrets of the World's Top Minds by Carmine Gallo. Summaries, scenes, and reflections. Personal vs. professional brand storytelling tips. Brand coaching. The value of mentors. Read The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown. Check out Nick's books. Contact Nick at nickwestergaard.com. We ❤️ Our Listeners. Please follow the show and leave a review wherever you subscribe to podcasts. Reviews and sharing the show are the nicest ways to support the podcast and are deeply appreciated. Thank you.

TILT Parenting: Raising Differently Wired Kids
TPP 057a: Using a Strengths-Based Approach to Support Differently Wired Kids

TILT Parenting: Raising Differently Wired Kids

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2023 38:20


This episode features a conversation with Giselle Marzo Segura, a designer, teacher, mentor, writer and solutions thinker based in Miami, Florida, who is also the parent of a differently-wired daughter. As a result of her journey with her daughter, Giselle was moved to create a venture called Strength Clusters, which is all about helping people understand and connect with each other through the language of character strengths. I'll let Giselle tell you her whole story, because it's very inspiring and personal, but for now, I'll let you know that we're going to be talking about his idea of why current systems aimed at supporting differently-wired kids do so by focusing on the deficits. We'll also get into how truly transformational it can be, not just for the child but for the whole family, when we flip that on its head and focus on an individual's strengths.THINGS YOU'LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE:The cost of not allowing differently-wired kids to hang out in their areas of strength for large chunks of the dayWhy Giselle believes differently-wired kids need the opportunity to express what's inside of themWhat the language of positive psychology and character strengths isWhat happens when the whole family views each other through the lens of character strengths and is on the same pageThe magic of looking at a child as a whole personThat there are other types of learning beyond cognitive learning, such as learning through the body and emotions RESOURCES MENTIONED:Strength Clusters (Giselle's website)Character Strenths are Virtues: A Handbook and Classification by Martin Seligman and Christopher PetersonVia Character Strengths SurveyBrene Brown's websiteThe Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene BrownPamela Slim's websiteSupport the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram

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The Pursuit of Being Cool

Mint Arrow Messages

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2023 45:29


We've all seen it in movies and TV shows and books and in real life, sometimes in a lunch table or a tight-knit group of people who are popular-by-association, otherwise known as the cool kids. It might seem harmless, but it can be problematic and detrimental to personal growth and to our culture and community in schools, neighborhoods, churches, really everywhere.  Furthermore, it's a mirage. It's not even real! And that's the funny irony: the pursuit of being cool is the most un-real kind of connection you can make, an authenticity killer. Today Neil and I are going to talk about why the pursuit of being cool can stop your growth and keep you from some of the deepest and most meaningful relationships available in this life, and how to conquer this human-nature desire to be perceived as one of the cool kids. Time Stamps: [00:55] - Corrine and Neil talk about the pursuit of being cool. [03:01] - Corrine and Neil share thoughts on acting as a “cool kid” and what they remember from their school days. [09:24] - The pursuit of being cool can cause people to hold back their authenticity to avoid being rejected. [14:03] - The beauty of unlikely friends. Don't miss out on who you could meet. [19:01] - Beware of Pride. [23:02] - Corrine and Neil talk about building a healthier perspective of comparison. How does comparison influence the way we view ourselves and our lives? [27:50] - Are you worried about completely being accepted by others? [31:32] - Look for the humanity in others and see them as God sees them.  [34:49] - What example are we setting for children when we comment on the life of others? [38:10] - The coolest thing is to show love and appreciation to each other. Supporting Resources: Book by Brene Brown "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are." "Beware of Pride" Talk by Ezra Taft Benson "Am I Good Enough? Will I Make It?" Talk by J. Devn Cornish Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Book Fare
Ep 65 - What Can We Learn from Brené Brown?

Book Fare

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2023 39:31


Today we talk about well-known research-based self-help guru Brené Brown. What is her work about? What book should you read first? What kinds of concepts are in her books? If you are experiencing any issues in your life involving shame, vulnerability, resilience, belonging, emotions, or relationships, this episode is for you! Brene Brown's Books In This Episode: I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone  Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience

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Un Learn To Level Up
You can be BIG just not too big

Un Learn To Level Up

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2023 13:15


I have this fear that if I embrace my personal power and show up 100%, people will not like me and I will end up alone. This fear of rejection, abandonment and loneliness kept me playing small which actually made me feel more alone than ever. Tune into today's episode to learn how I worked through this fear.  ---------   Free Resources:  The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer From the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It by Dr. Valerie Young  ----------  Stay Connected  Instagram: @jess_demarchis_coaching Website: www.jessicademarchis.com  

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Black Girl, Love Well
050: Ms. Perfect, Bendy Girl, and the Invisible Woman

Black Girl, Love Well

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2023 32:46


Sometimes Black girls show up as superwomen, but this can look different for each of us. You might people-please, while I make myself small so others will have space. Or maybe you show up perfectly, unable to tolerate imperfection. Whichever it is, Ms. Perfect, Bendy Girl, or the Invisible Woman, let's explore how our superwoman persona may be impacting us negatively and creating friction in our relationships.Book ResourcesBoundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your LifeDr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John TownsendGood Boundaries and Goodbyes: Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You AreLysa Turkeurst and Jim CressThe Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You AreBrene BrownIf you need a therapist and you are located in Maryland, I can help. Find me at...lovewellfamilytherapy.comInstagramFacebookCoursesTherapy in Maryland

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Un Learn To Level Up
Healthy Striving vs. Perfectionism

Un Learn To Level Up

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2023 6:54


Striving for perfection versus excellence can make all the difference in hitting goals and how you feel about them. Tune into today's episode to learn 4 proven techniques to replace your perfectionism with healthy striving.  ---------   Free Resources:  Book: The Gifts of Imperfection- Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown, PhD ----------  Stay Connected  Instagram: @jess_demarchis_coaching Website: www.jessicademarchis.com

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Design Curious | Interior Design Podcast, Interior Design Career, Interior Design School, Coaching
11\\ Is Imposter Syndrome Holding Back Your Interior Design Career? The Best Way to Deal With It

Design Curious | Interior Design Podcast, Interior Design Career, Interior Design School, Coaching

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 7, 2022 13:35


Would you believe me if I tell you I still struggle with imposter syndrome? Despite graduating, getting my license, starting my own interior design business, and getting clients, it still affects my confidence. Honestly, it's a mindset issue that requires ongoing management. I wish it only happens in the beginning, you know? Like a right of passage, but no. It crops up at different points in my career as an interior designer. Good thing there are ways to help manage it. You have a talent, creative one, and you need to share it with your clients. So be confident about that because I know you can do it. Listen to this week's episode to learn how to deal with imposter syndrome and increase your confidence. Why you've got to check out today's episode: Know what imposter syndrome is and how it affects your confidence factor Identify the areas of your interior design career where imposter syndrome tends to show up Get effective tips for overcoming imposter syndrome before it breaks your confidence Check out the show notes >>> Is Imposter Syndrome Holding Back Your Interior Design Career? The Best Way to Deal With It FREE Resource: Episode 03: Scared to Start a Career in Interior Design? The Right Mindset That Can Help You Overcome Fear Check out these books and podcasts about dealing with Imposter Syndrome You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Cincero The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown Steps to Overcome Imposter Syndrome >>> drshannonirvine.com/what-do-you-believe-success-secret-4-with-dr-shannon-irvine/ What do you believe?: Success Secret #4 with Dr. Shannon Irvine >>> chalene.com/podcasts/overcome-imposter-syndrome/ Connect With Me: Website: rwarddesign.com Email Add: contact@rwarddesign.com IG: @rwarddesign

Live Life Happy- Andrea Seydel
THE GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Live Life Happy- Andrea Seydel

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2022 29:43


THIS EPISODE'S BOOK HIGHLIGHT:  THE GIFTS OF IMPERFECTION: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are ______________ No time to read? Welcome to The Unconventional Book Club for busy people who love to learn. Listen in as Book Doula, founder of Live Life Happy Publishing Andrea Seydel, summarizes books, interviews authors and draws out key positive psychology concepts and powerful learning opportunities so you can live life happy (er).  CONNECT:   Live Life Happy Publishing and Andrea Seydel  https://linktr.ee/Andreaseydel Have you subscribed, left a comment or reviewed yet? Hit Subscribe, Comment on what you think, and provide any Feedback with an honest Review.    A personal note:  Do you love books and know you have knowledge, experience or a story to share? One that has the potential to help others powerfully?  If you have ever wanted to give birth to a book but don't know how or where to start turning your hard-earned knowledge into book form, I am your gal! I know how to help you painlessly give birth to your book and get it published. They don't call me the Book Doula for nothing!~ I help people painlessly give birth to books that change lives. Let's discuss your idea in a FREE discovery call today!  Hugs  Andrea The Book Doula Books change lives: Whose life will you touch with your book?   

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How to Be Awesome at Your Job
805: How to Boost Your Confidence and Advocate for Yourself with Kelli Thompson

How to Be Awesome at Your Job

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2022 31:30


Kelli Thompson shares strategies for overcoming impostor syndrome and asking for what you need. — YOU'LL LEARN — 1) When self-doubt can be helpful 2) The exercises to boost your confidence 3) What not do when advocating for yourself Subscribe or visit AwesomeAtYourJob.com/ep805 for clickable versions of the links below. — ABOUT KELLI — Kelli Thompson is a women's leadership coach and speaker who helps women advance to the rooms where decisions are made. She has coached and trained hundreds of women to trust themselves, lead with more confidence, and create a career they love. She is the founder of the Clarity & Confidence Women's Leadership Program, and a Stevie Award winner for Women in Business—Coach of the Year. She is the author of Closing The Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential & Your Paycheck, releasing fall of 2022. • Book: Closing the Confidence Gap: Boost Your Peace, Your Potential, and Your Paycheck • Website: KelliRaeThompson.com — RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE SHOW — • Book: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown • Past episode: 674: Nailing Your Interview, Resume, and Negotiation FAST with Steve Dalton — THANK YOU SPONSORS! — • LinkedIn Jobs. Find quality hires fast with a free job posting at LinkedIn.com/beawesome.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Mindset Into Transformation
EP 9 - Free Yourself And Break Out Of The Medical Mindset with Dr. Brett Levine

Mindset Into Transformation

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2022 45:29


Dr. Brett Levine, the CEO of Beach Cities ENTS outside of Los Angeles, California, has been an ear, nose, and throat surgeon for 27 years. He is also the Founder and Chief Creative Officer at Breaking Out of the Medical Mindset. In this episode, we dive into the difficulties and hardships he has gone through to practice medicine. Till one day, he came into realization that the same behavior that had helped him succeed in becoming a doctor also kept him trapped, unmoving, and irritated in life. That's when he started learning to invest and look for more possibilities in life. Connect with our special guest - - Dr. Brett LevineWebsite: www.BOOMmindset.comFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100073393088587instagram: https://www.instagram.com/boom_mindset/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/boommindsetYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0CnA6z1kqzQ0FzZbqnX9HQEmail: brett@boommindset.com Books Recommended: How to Join Buy or Merge a Physician's Practice - Dr. Brett LevineMindset: The New Psychology of Success -Carol DweckRich Dad, Poor Dad - by Robert KiyosakiThe Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are - Brene BrownLife Is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age - Bruce Feiler Connect with us Today: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MIT-Capitals-108012215186516Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mitcapitals/Email: info@mitcapitals.com Leave a comment and share your thoughts: https://open.firstory.me/user/cl1iz13pq047b0h3n6uyvakqk/comments Powered by Firstory Hosting

The Six Figure Entrepreneur Podcast
How Kelsea Koenreich Overcame A Her Self Destructive Behaviour And Habits And Built A Successful Coaching Business

The Six Figure Entrepreneur Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2022 23:22 Transcription Available


The Six Figure Entrepreneur Podcast is super excited to host Kelsea Koenreich Kelsea is a speaker and ICF-certified life coach who gives women sustainable tools to run their lives without fear and find happiness. Since 2012 she has worked with women all over the world through her coaching practice to establish better habits, develop self-confidence and see the possibilities in their future. Kelsea has been an entrepreneur for over 11 years and has been able to weather the storm of building a successful business. Kelsea, a proud mom of 3, started from rock bottom, overcoming self-destructive habits and behavior, and built a successful coaching business teaching women how to build a successful brand. In this episode of The Six Figure Entrepreneur Podcast, Mayowa Ajisafe, host of The Six Figure Entrepreneur Podcast, sits down virtually with Kelsea to share the stories of her amazing entrepreneurial journey. Here's a Glimpse of What You'll Hear: ● How she got started as an entrepreneur in the fitness space. ● Getting a feeling of fulfillment and accomplishment. ● Her business structure; includes private coaching, speaking engagements, and creating multiple ways of income. ● How she got her first clients and her customer acquisition strategy. ● How she leverages social media to get across to a larger audience and potential clients. ● Her best tip for all entrepreneurs. Resources Mentioned In This Episode Kelsea's Website Connect with Kelsea on Facebook Follow Kelsea on Twitter Kelsea's Book Below The Surface: A Confidence-Building Framework To Reach Your Goals Without Overwhelm The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You AreBy Brené Brown A Word From Our Sponsor: The Book Cot  A book is the #1 way to establish your credibility, authority, and expertise (next to being featured on Oprah..even then, a book will dramatically increase your chances!) The #1 way to differentiate yourself (next to being featured on reality TV) is to write a book and use that to establish your presence in the market, exhibit your dominance and demonstrate your authority. At The Book Cot, we're committed to helping you amplify your reach, build your credibility online, become an instant authority and get more leads for your business with a published book. We're a professional publishing agency that makes the process of writing and publishing a book an easy walk for busy entrepreneurs who know the power of a published book, want to write and publish one but are too busy having fun running their businesses. Since 2018, our proven system has helped hundreds of entrepreneurs, thought leaders, coaches, consultants, and experts become instant authority while leveraging their published books to get speaking gigs, invited to speak at conferences and guests on top podcasts. Are you considering having a book in your name for more visibility, credibility, and the instant authority you get from becoming a published author? Would you like to work with a book publishing agency that wants you to win? Contact us now at hello@TheBookCot.com or book a call at TheBookCot.com/consult.

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Interior Integration for Catholics
Trauma's Devastating Impact on our Capacity to Love

Interior Integration for Catholics

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2022 86:38


Summary:  In this episode, we focus on how unresolved trauma undermines and sabotages both our capacity and our inclination to love well.  We explore how unresolved trauma impacts each of the five characteristics of love -- compromising our ability to love in an affective (emotional), affirming, responsive, unitive and steadfast way.  We also dive into how so trauma pulls us to focus inward, and to protect ourselves, undercutting the vulnerability and willingness to engage that are required for deep love and we discuss hope for change.   Lead-in  They say love is blind, but it's trauma that's blind. Love sees what is.“ — Neil Strauss, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships And Neil Strauss is right on that.  Love connects with reality.  With God who is the ultimate realness, the ultimate being, the I AM.   Trauma is blind and it blinds us.  That's what we are talking about today.  Trauma and its impact on live.   Intro: Dear listener, You and I are together in the adventure of this podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics, we are journeying together, and I am thankful to be with you.   I am Dr. Peter Malinoski, clinical psychologist and passionate Catholic and together, Why are we here?  We are here together to bring you the best of psychology and human formation and harmonize it with the perennial truths of the Catholic Faith. So we can have the best of both.  That's why.   Today, we're going to take a broad perspective, a bird's-eye view of trauma's destructive consequences to our capacity to love.  What is the effect of trauma on our capacity and inclination to love?  That is the question for us to explore together today.   So welcome to episode 95,  of Interior Integration for Catholics, titled Trauma's Devastating Impact on our Capacity to Love, released on July 4, 2022, Independency Day in the USA, This podcast, Interior Integration for Catholics is part of our broader outreach, Souls and Hearts bringing the best of psychology grounded in a Catholic worldview to you and the rest of the world through our website soulsandhearts.com.   Review Trauma.  We are in the midst of  whole series of episodes on trauma.  So just a brief thumbnail review.   Started with Episode 88 Trauma: Defining and Understanding the Experience  Really important to understand the inner experience of trauma -- so you can recognize it in your own life and recognize it an empathetic and attuned way in others' loves.  Part of loving them.   Episode 89 Your Trauma, Your Body: Protection vs. Connection --  a current understanding of how large a role our bodies have in our experience of trauma.  Our bodies.   Episode 90:  Your Well-Being: The Secular Experts Speak  we review how philosophers and modern secular psychologists understand mental health and well-being.  In this episode, we look at the attempts to define what make us happy, from the 4th century BC to the present day.  Aristippus, Aristotle, Descartes, Freud, Seligman, Porges, Schwartz, and two diagnostic systems.  We take a special look at how positive psychology and Internal Family Systems see well-being.   Episode 92:  Understanding and Healing your Mind through IPNB  neuropsychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel's Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB) and what IPNB can show us about psychological health.  We review the triangle of well-being, the nature of secure attachments, and the basis for mental health from an IPNB perspective.  We examine the characteristics of a healthy mind and how it functions, and the two signs that reliable indicate all psychological symptoms and mental dysfunction.  We discuss the nine domains of integration Three inner experiential exercises in Episode 93 Episode 94:  The Primacy of Love  In this episode, I discuss the central importance of love as the marker of well-being from a Catholic perspective -- our capacity to live out  the two great commandments.  We explore how love is the distinguishing characteristics of Christians, and we discussed Catholic theologian Bernard Brady's five attributes or characteristics of love -- how love is affective, affirming, responsive, unitive and steadfast.  We discuss what is commonly missing from philosophical and theological approaches to love, and we briefly touch in the death of love and distortions of love.  So check those out if you haven't already.  This    Going to address love in general -- focusing on loving  In future episodes, will review  Tolerating being loved Brady quxote   Ordered self-love   The experience of trauma screws up our loves -- where we go to find good.  It screws up where we are seeking, how we seek to be loved and how we seek to love.   St. Augustine:   He lives in justice and sanctity who is an unprejudiced assessor of the intrinsic value of things.  He is a man who has an ordinate love: he neither loves what should not be loved nor fails to love what should be loved. On Christina Doctrine, I, 27 We need ordered love.  Why -- Bernard Brady put it -- Because we become like what we love.  Whatever we embrace in our love, we become like that person or that thing.   As Augustine considered the dissipation of this youth, he wrote "I loved beautiful things of a lower order, and I was going down to the depths."   Confessions.   So much of the problem with disordered love  comes from misdirected seeking to get your attachment needs meet.  That's the problem. We have legitimate attachment needs  Trauma strips away our sense of  A felt sense of Safety and security Feeling seen, heard, known and understood Feeling comforted, soothed, reassured Feeling cherished, treasured, delighted in Feel the other person wills my highest good.   All from Brown and Elliott 2016, Attachment disturbances in Adults Where do we find our safety and security?  In both the natural and spiritual realms, we find it in attachment security needs being met.  Five primary attachment security needs (Brown and Elliott)  A felt sense of safety and protection, a deep sense of security, felt in my bones It makes it so much easier to love when we feel safe and secure.    "People want to be safe, and comfortable. If safety and comfort is to be found in guns, then they will take up guns—of their own accord, in their own need. And when safety and comfort are found in libraries, then the guns rust.“ — Algis Budrys American writer  Source: Some Will Not Die (1961), Chapter 6 (p. 122)   Feeling seen, heard, known, and understood   I want, by understanding myself, to understand others.“ — Katherine Mansfield New Zealand author 1888 - 1923 Being comforted, soothed, and reassured Feeling valued, cherished, treasured, delighted in You are my sunshine published by Jimmie Davis and Charles Mitchell on January 30, 1940   You are my sunshineMy only sunshineYou make me happyWhen skies are grayYou'll never know, dearHow much I love youPlease don't take my sunshine away Feeling that the other person wills my highest good, the best for me We have to turn inward to find the road to God.   Etienne Gilson explained Augustine's approach to God as "a path leading from the exterior to the interior and from the interior to the superior."  Gilson, The Christian Philosophy of St. Augustine p. 20 Charles Taylor:  Sources of the Self: By going inward, I am drawn upward.  The Making of Modern Identity 134 Turning inward is the route to God, not God.  Brady, 120 Often resisted by Catholics as being selfish.   Edward Vacek:  Love, Human and Divine: The Heart of Christian Ethics.  The steps in loving and being loved.    (1) God affirms us; (2) God receives a; (3) we accept God's love; (4) we affirm God; (5) God forms community with us; (6) we cooperate with God in loving God in the world; and finally (7) we grow in a limited code responsibility with God. p.. 177 1 John 4:19 We love, because he first loved us.     Last episode -- Bernard Brady's description of the five characteristics of Love  Christian Love: How Christians through the Ages have Understood Love.-- drawing heavily from the work of phenomenologists  Jules Toner and Margaret Farley Love is affective, affirming, responsive, unitive and steadfast.  (repeat)  Five characteristics.  Five aspects.  Repeat.   We described and discussed these at length in the last episode, episode 94 of the IIC podcast, The Primacy of Love  We will briefly review each of them And then discuss how trauma impacts each of them, bringing in the effects or the sequelae of trauma from Episode 88 --  Trauma: Defining and Understanding the Experience.   Love is affective  Love is an emotion Love is a movement from your heart, your soul -- a movement from the innermost depths of your being.  From your core self.  St. Thomas Aquinas in the Summa:  Consequently the freezing or hardening of the heart is a disposition incompatible with love: while melting denotes a softening of the heart, whereby the heart shows itself to be ready for the entrance of the beloved.“ Love rejoices in the beloved  Love rejoices in the beloved -- Protestant Theologian R.H. Neibuhr writes in his 1977 book the Purpose of the Church and Its Ministry:  By love, we mean at least these attitudes and actions: rejoicing in the presence of the beloved, gratitude, reverence, and loyalty toward him.  p.35 „After a traumatic experience, the human system of self-preservation seems to go onto permanent alert, as if the danger might return at any moment.“  Judith Herman Brené Brown US writer and professor 1965 Source: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are  Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.  Misattributed to Sigmund Freud Out of your vulnerabilities will come your strength. Brady:  Love is the directive and dominant center of emotions.  p. 267  Many emotions are associated with love Delight, Bliss, Happiness  A sense of fulfillment  Warmth  Grief  Sadness  Anxiety  Distress   If there is no emotion, there is no agape, no love.  The heart must be moved for love to be anything like complete.  We cannot love like a Vulcan, like Mr. Spock without emotion.  „Even the most elevated psychological understanding is not a loving understanding.“ — Karl Jaspers German psychiatrist and philosopher 1883 - 1969 Effects of trauma -- from episode 88, Trauma: Defining and Understanding the experience  Emotional and Psychological effects Emotional overwhelm  Shock  Shame as an emotion  Guilt  Irritability, anger, rage   Anxiety, fear, panic attacks, phobia, panic attacks, Fears of trauma repeating Jenny Han, book Always and Forever, Lara Jean  Being vulnerable, letting people in, getting hurt… it's all part of being in love.   Sadness, depression  Mood swings   Hopelessness, despair Emotional constriction, shutting down Difficulty experiencing positive emotions Anhedonia Apathy Brady 273.  Love does not die because of hate but because of apathy.   Cognitive Effects -- impact on sensation, perceptive, higher-order thinking Alexithymia -- inability to recognize or describe one's own emotions -- can't put my feelings into words.   Can't conceptualize your feelings either Feelings in others could be overwhelming -- can't recognize what others are feeling Can't express my feelings well Can't connect affectively, emotionally. That takes vulnerability   Confusion, distraction  Spacing out with dissociation   Physical Effects of trauma -- preoccupation with the body   Behavioral Symptoms Relational apathy  Social withdrawal   Existential Symptoms Despair about humanity -- overgeneralized to the other person  Cynicism  Disillusionment   Identity issues -- shame.   I'm not worth you connecting emotionally with me What could I ever offer you emotionally? I'm such a downer. Strong self-criticism  Fragmentation Love is affirming Love affirms the other  Love says yes to the other person at the same time as love says yes to oneself.   "Agape is the simple yet profound recognition of the worthiness of and goodness in persons."  p. 268  Edward Vacek:  Love is an affective, affirming participation in the goodness of a being (or Being).… Love is an emotional, affirming participation the dynamic tendency of an object to realize its fullness.”  Brene Brown -- Rising Strong  Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage.“   Affirmation happens at two levels One level is the basic level of human dignity shared by all persons.   Second level of affirmation is the uniqueness of the person.   When you love your neighbor you truly see the other as a person.   Jules Toner, SJ -- "I love you because you are you." We need to affirm at both levels.  The basic dignity of the person and the uniqueness of the person.   Affirmation implies acceptance of the other and knowledge of the other.    This is not an endorsement of the other's vices or bad habits, but a recognition of them and an acceptance of who the person is as an entire being.  Not picking and choosing the attractive bits.  Self-acceptance of the same things. Affirmation requires freedom -- freedom to get outside the self.   Effects of trauma  Emotional and Psychological effects  Turning inward -- self-protection. Connections vs. protection -- Episode 89 Where is the safety?   How can I escape the danger?  Not letting anyone in to love me.   Feeling disconnected or numb or detached -- dorsal vagal response.  Freeze response.  Deer in the headlights Bodily response Emotional Constriction, Shutdown   Shame -- what is my affirmation of you worth?  I'm not worth much, my affirmation isn't worth much.  Feeling very fragile, vulnerable -- not resilient enough --  I can't engage  Irritability, hostility,  Depression -- lethargy  Mood swings -- unpredictability, others can't trust me.   Emotional detachment, disconnection -- in relationships  Helplessness  Difficulty experiencing positive emotions  How can I reach out?  White knuckling. Feels very forced.  Cognitive Effects -- impact on sensation, perceptive, higher-order thinking Racing thoughts -- so distracting, I can attend to you, I can't attune to you, I can't affirm you.  My house is on fire.   Extreme alertness - suspicion of you -- are you a threat?  Will you trigger me?   Physical Effects   Behavioral Symptoms Argumentative behavior  Social withdrawal and relational apathy.  Avoidance   Existential Symptoms Ruminating about evil in the world   Identity issues -- shame If I affirm you I will see myself in a bad light because of my shame  Affirmation involved a positive evaluation -- so tempting to see myself negatively.   Fragmentation  Lack of affirmation from the whole self Toner [Radical love] "is giving self; for it is myself who am in the loved one by my love, not merely by my possessions, or even my thoughts, my wit, my joy, my wisdom, my strength.  It is I myself."   Toner:  Loving someone in depth… Means loving from the lovers most personal self, with sincerity, intensity, endurance… To affectively affirm this unique person in a response informed by full, detailed knowledge, which catches the delicate shadings of his profoundest attitudes, moods, likes, and dislikes, ideals, fears, hopes, capabilities, weaknesses, etc.  The experience of love 160   Love is Responsive  Love is an active response for the well-being of the other.  This is where Brady includes benevolence.  It's about participating in the promotion of the highest good for the other, potential for the other's full humanity. How can I help you to flourish?  How can I help you toward your highest good?   This is where self-sacrifice comes in.   love will call for self-sacrifice.   Responsiveness implies an attunement to the other -- a resonance, and understanding.  The capacity to respond well.  It's not just any responsiveness.  The ability to be aware of and to respond effectively to the needs of my neighbor.  So there is a capacity about this.  It's not just an act of the will.  Attunement can be described as a kind of resonance.  Toner:  Radical love is experience as being in accord with the loved one, vibrating as it were, in harmony with the beloved's act of being and so with the whole melody of the beloved's life.  It is a welcoming of the loved one into the lover's self and his life-world, as fitting there, making a harmony with the lover's being and life.   But there must also be action:  "Let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action."  ` John 3:18. Parents "Doing the best they can"  Love bottled up inside.  -- Not expressed.  Then it's not love.  Love that is not shared, that is not relational is not love.   Brene Brown:  Of all the things trauma takes away from us, the worst is our willingness, or even our ability, to be vulnerable. There's a reclaiming that has to happen.  Rising Strong 2015 Madeleine L'Engle Walking on water (1980) When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable.  To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.“ — Clive Staples Lewis, book The Four Loves   The Letter of James 2:45-17.   What does it profit, my brethren, if a man says he has faith but has not works? Can his faith save him? If a brother or sister is ill-clad and in lack of daily food, 16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what does it profit?  So faith by itself, if it has no works, is dead. Responsive to needs  Not just physical needs, but the emotional needs, psychological needs, relational needs   St. Bernard of Clairvaux:  We must remember that love reveals itself, not by words or phrases, but by actions and experience.  It is Love with speaks here, and if anyone wished to understand it, let him first love.   Effects of trauma  Emotional and Psychological effects Overwhelm  Shock  Shame  Irritability, anger, rage  Anxiety, fear, apprehension  Guilt  Sadness, depression, grief  Helplessness, despair  Mood swings -- swept away by our own experience  Anhedonia -- difficulty experiencing positive emotions.  Apathy   Protection vs. connection.  I'm on fire inside, I am frozen inside.  It's chaotic inside Intense self-preoccupation.  Not selfishness.  It's really hard to judge the moral quality of these things accurately.   When we are preoccupied with the intensity of our own experience, it's hard to be responsive to the other person.     Cognitive Effects -- impact on sensation, perceptive, higher-order thinking “When something reminds traumatized people of the past, their right brain reacts as if the traumatic event were happening in the present. But because their left brain is not working very well, they may not be aware that they are re-experiencing and reenacting the past - they are just furious, terrified, enraged, ashamed, or frozen.”  ― Bessel Van Der Kolk Difficulty concentrating, even focusing on the other person.  Confusion.  Others sense the disconnect.  Not attuned.    Guardedness -- protecting against vulnerability Questioning "Why me?" makes it hard to respond to you.     Physical Effects Behavioral Symptoms Startle responses   Argumentative behavior Social withdrawal and relational apathy.  Avoidance Reducing activity levels Existential Symptoms I am permanently damaged.  How could I ever be responsive in love.  Who would want me?  Can be unconscious.   Identity issues -- shame I am permanently damaged.   Fragmentation -- not a consistent, complete, unified response to the other -- partial responses that seem very incomplete, maybe insincere to the other person.  Love requires our whole being Fr. Jules Toner:  in the full concrete experience of love, our whole being, spirit and flesh, is involved: cognitive acts, feelings and affections, freedom, bodily reactions – all these are influencing each other and all are continually fluctuating in such a way as to change the structure and intensity of the experience. The experience of love. P. 65 Love is Unitive Brady:  The fruit of love is unity.  Love unites.  It is in the very nature of love to bring together.  p. 279  Brady:  When you love, you step out of yourself and experience the other.   There is still a separateness.  Not a blending or a fusion or a loss of identity.  But you are no longer just within yourself.  You've entered into the space of another.   And you've allow the other to enter into your space Loving an enemy -- you are like me.  We are similar on a fundamental human level -- No dehumanization.  Agape pulls for unity, even with strangers.   The mystics describe the unity we are called to in God -- Union with God.   Jules Toner: Radical love is not a tendency affection but a being affection by which I am in union with, am present with the loved one.   Effects of trauma -- Protection vs. Connection  Emotional and Psychological effects Emotional instability, inconsistency -- unpredictability.  Makes it hard for the other to trust you.   Preoccupation pulls you inside -- guilt, shame -- self protection. St. Augustine:  "..if [a man] loves himself on his own account, he does not turn himself toward God, but being turned toward himself, he does not care for anything immutable…."  On Christian Doctrine, Book 1, Chapter 22  And the why doesn't matter nearly so much as people think it does.   Evil comes from loving some good thing inordinately -- blog post on this -- check it out.  Dangerous love, from June 22, 2022 That good thing might be the means that parts of us are seeking to try to provide us with a sense of safety and security.   Fear of vulnerability When trust is lost, traumatized people feel that they belong more to the dead than to the living.“ — Judith Herman Trauma and Recovery  Love is a battlefield  -Pat Benatar 1983 -- music video about all the conflict with her father, and with others seeking to use her as a sexual object.   Fear of overwhelming suffering  Shutdown  Alexithymia   Cognitive Effects -- impact on sensation, perceptive, higher-order thinking Distraction, rumination, racing thoughts interfere with capacity to attune, to unite  So much internal stimulation -- so much internal noise -- makes it difficult to resonate with the other person, to really understand the other -- to enter into the other's phenomenological world.   So much of that distraction is around finding safety and protection -- cognitive restlessness  Dissociation and disconnections are experienced as off-putting.  Have you ever been with someone who is spacing out when you are talking with them?   Physical Effects   Behavioral Symptoms Blaming  Discharging anger and aggression -- parts so want to be heard and healed.   Desperation can lead to boundary crossings and boundary violations.   Attempts to use the other person to meet intense needs -- not a conscious effort to exploit the other, but exploitation can happen anyway.   Existential Symptoms Shame -- feeling unworthy of connection  Not knowing who I am -- makes it really complicated to be in relationship.   Identity issues Fragmentation - which part of me is uniting with you right now? What are other parts doing.   The need for disconnects within in order to not be overwhelmed - inevitably leads to disconnects with other people You can't give what you don't have.   I'm not lovable, why would you want to be united with me?   Dissociation Identity alteration: The sense of being markedly different from another part of yourself  Identity confusion: A sense of confusion about who you really are   we will have a lot more to say about dissociation in future episodes, but for now -- disconnection. I need to know who I am and I need to know who you are to know who we are together, in relationship.  Love is steadfast God's love endures.  Psalm 891-2  I will sing of thy steadfast love, O Lord,[a] for ever;     with my mouth I will proclaim thy faithfulness to all generations.For thy steadfast love was established for ever,  It may not always be mutual or reciprocal People want predictability Steadfastness requires resilience, to roll with the punches in the relationship.  Any close relationship will have conflicts and difficulties. The fragility in the system that trauma imposes is a real obstacle to resilience necessary to be steadfast in relationship, to not quit and walk away from loving the other person.   Jules Toner:  "The lover is present to the loved one and has the loved one present to himself."   The experience of love, 117 Effects of trauma  Emotional and Psychological effects Mood swings -- effect of different parts, each with its own intense emotions  Helplessness -- despair -- can be intermittent  Emotional shutdown -- dorsal vagal response.   Being reactivated or triggered emotionally.   Disappointment in the other -- you are not helping me Can lead to frustration and rejection.   Cognitive Effects -- impact on sensation, perceptive, higher-order thinking Intrusive thoughts, intrusive memories.   Dissociation is a mental process of disconnecting from one's thoughts, feelings, body, from memories or sense of identity. This disconnection is automatic and completely out of the person's control. Amnesia: Often described as "gaps" in memory that can range from minutes to years  Depersonalization: Feeling disconnected from your body or thoughts  Derealization: Feeling disconnected from the world around you   Physical Effects Impact of hyperarousal  Impact of hypoarousal   Behavioral Symptoms Withdrawal  Avoidance -- refusal of consistent vulnerability  Alcohol and drug use   „For me, vulnerability led to anxiety, which led to shame, which led to disconnection, which led to Bud Light.“ — Brené Brown US writer and professor 1965 Source: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead  Switching among parts Existential Symptoms Deep sense of not being loved, not being lovable  There is no love in the world.  At least not for me.  So why unite with anyone.  Loss of meaning and purpose.  Identity issues Fragmentation  Unstable identity makes it hard to be consistent in the loving   The death of love Brady 273.  Love does not die because of hate but because of apathy.  The death of love is often preceded by the denial of the basic dignity of the other.  The death of love happens when we reject instead of affirm the other's special personal and unique goodness.  The death of love is encouraged when we ignore the other's needs and wants while prioritizing our own wants.  The deal of love occurs when we pursue discord, division, disassociation, and distance in the place of unity.   That is sin.   Malice is not necessary for love to die.  Apathy doesn't have malice in it. In apathy, the other does not register in your consciousness.  He or she doesn't matter. He or she doesn't exist for you.   We don't have to active deny the basic dignity of the other.  We just have to not notice it.  Not attend to it We don't have to actively reject the other's special and unique goodness, we just have to not notice it, not attend to it.   We don't have to actively ignore the other's needs and wants -- we just have to be preoccupied with our own trauma and its effects.     Hope Romans 8:28 We know that in everything God works for good[a] with those who love him,[b] who are called according to his purpose.  Julian of Norwich:  And because of the tender love which our good Lord has for all who will be saved, he comforts readily and sweetly, meaning this: it is true that sin is the cause of all this pain, but all will be well, and every kind of thing will be well.   Widow's mite Luke 21:1-4  He looked up and saw rich people putting their gifts into the treasury; 2 he also saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. 3 He said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them; 4 for all of them have contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty has put in all she had to live on.”  Ratios   Martin Luther King:  Love even for enemies is the key to the solution of the problems of the world.  Strength to Love 47-48  Psychologist Peter Levine:  Trauma is hell on earth. Trauma resolved is a gift from the gods.  Romans 5:20 ..where sin increased, grace abounded all the more,  1 John 3:1  See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.  Romans 8 35-39  Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will hardship, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.   Call to Action Kent Keith The Paradoxical Commandments -- Resilience.  Mother Theresa had pinned this up in one of her convents.    People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.   Love them anyway.If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.   Do good anyway.Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.   Be honest and frank anyway.What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.   Build anyway.People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.   Help people anyway.Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.   Give the world the best you have anyway.   Where we are going If you want to love, you have to first be loved and know you are loved.   Tolerating being loved -- many people assume that we just want to be loved -- that's not anything like entirely accurate.  1 John 4:19 We love, because he first loved us. Ordered self love.    Check out our blogs -- weekly email reflections  June 15 -- Seven ways to understand sin     Sin as breaking the law    Sin as a burden    Sin as a debt    Sin as “missing the mark”    Sin as a violating your conscience    Sin as breaking or harming relationships    Sin as the failure to love, or the “anti-love” June 22  Dangerous Love -- we really get into St. Augustine's description of sin as a disordered or misdirected love, and I share how when we that misdirected love is oriented toward getting our attachment needs met, it's not only misdirected love, it's a dangerous love.   June 29 Conflicting loves inside you -- we get into how to understand the conflicting loves inside of us -- from a parts perspective -- multiplicity and unity of the self.   Email me crisis@soulsandhearts.com  -- call my cell 317.567.9594 any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern time for conversation hours.   Let others know about this podcast.  Put the word out.  There's somebody you know dealing with trauma -- get them on board with the rest of us with the IIC podcast.  All the major podcast player -- Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Audible, Podbean, Podchaser, CastBox, Overcast, Podcast Addict, all of them, we're on all of them.  Soulsandhearts.com/iic You have until July 10.  The RCC -- Come with me on an adventure.  Come with me on an adventure of being loved and of loving.  That is what the Resilient Catholic Community is all about.  Check out the Resilient Catholics Community at soulsandhearts.com/RCC  The RCC is all about working through your human formation issues -- the ones that inhibit you from receiving the love you need and from loving God completely, with every fiber of your being, with your body,  with all your parts, with all your emotions, thoughts, all your inner experience with all of you, with no part of you left behind, no part of you left out.   It's all about learning to be gentle but firm with yourself -- it's all about integration.  It's all about resilience.   All about restoration -- recovering from being dominated by shame, fear, anger, sadness, pessimism, whatever your struggle is in the depths of your human formation And we do this work experientially -- so many experiential exercises -- this is not just intellectual knowledge, we're working with all of you. Informed by Internal Family Systems and the best of the rest of psychological and human formation resources  All grounded in a Catholic understanding of the human person  All focused on helping you to better accept love and to love more fully, to carry out the two great commandments of our Lord.   Are you up for the challenge?  Would you like to join me and the rest of the pioneers in this adventure?  Do you want to be a part of the community?   Are you ready to prevail over whatever hinders your human formation -- would you like to no longer be dominated by fear, anger, shame, sadness, pessimism?  And would you like to be with other like-minded Catholics on the journey -- If so join me.  Join all of us in the Resilient Catholics Community.  The RCC We are taking applications throughout until July 10 -- extended the deadline.   for our third cohort, those in that cohort will start their adventure in June and July by taking our Initial Measures Kits and be getting feedback on their parts in a personal Zoom session with me.  It's a great chance for us to get to know each other, really know each other at the level of parts.  You'll get a 5 or 6 page report on your internal system and then be eligible for our weekly company meetings and programming to begin in late August or early September.   Talk with me about it in conversation hours call my cell 317.567.9594 any Tuesday or Thursday from 4:30 PM to 5:30 PM Eastern time for conversation hours.   Patroness and Patron   

PA the FI Way
070 | From Being a PA Experiencing Burnout, to Teaching Other PAs about Burnout and Wellness: Interview with Meg Leddy, PA-C

PA the FI Way

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2022 30:15


Unfortunately, many physician associates / physician assistants have experienced or will experience burnout. Meg Leddy, PA-C, went from experiencing burnout to teaching other PAs and other healthcare professionals about burnout and wellbeing. In this episode, Meg shares her burnout story, and also discusses why sleep and other elements of self-care are so important for helping with burnout. We also discuss how physician associate / physician assistant finances affect burnout. She is the host of the podcast called "Burnout: What I Have Learned So Far with Meg Leddy", so you definitely have to check out her show where she provides education as well as tips about treating and preventing burnout! Check out Meg's website: https://www.megleddy.com  Follow Meg on Instagram: @megleddy923  Books mentioned in this episode:  Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle  The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are  Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams     Enjoy the show? You can now support the PA the FI Way podcast through Buy Me a Coffee! Thank you for all of your support! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pathefiway    Follow along on Instagram: @pathefiway   https://www.instagram.com/pathefiway/   Join the private Facebook group created for current and future PAs on their journey to financial independence: https://www.facebook.com/groups/pathefiway    Like the Facebook page to follow along for updates: https://www.facebook.com/pathefiway   Website to read blog posts: pathefiway.com   Prefer to pin the posts that you found informative? Follow along on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/pathefiway   

PA the FI Way
070 | From Being a PA Experiencing Burnout, to Teaching Other PAs about Burnout and Wellness: Interview with Meg Leddy, PA-C

PA the FI Way

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2022 30:15


Unfortunately, many physician associates / physician assistants have experienced or will experience burnout. Meg Leddy, PA-C, went from experiencing burnout to teaching other PAs and other healthcare professionals about burnout and wellbeing. In this episode, Meg shares her burnout story, and also discusses why sleep and other elements of self-care are so important for helping with burnout. We also discuss how physician associate / physician assistant finances affect burnout. She is the host of the podcast called "Burnout: What I Have Learned So Far with Meg Leddy", so you definitely have to check out her show where she provides education as well as tips about treating and preventing burnout! Check out Meg's website: https://www.megleddy.com Follow Meg on Instagram: @megleddy923 Books mentioned in this episode: Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams Enjoy the show? You can now support the PA the FI Way podcast through Buy Me a Coffee! Thank you for all of your support! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/pathefiway Follow along on Instagram: @pathefiway https://www.instagram.com/pathefiway/ Join the private Facebook group created for current and future PAs on their journey to financial independence: https://www.facebook.com/groups/pathefiway Like the Facebook page to follow along for updates: https://www.facebook.com/pathefiway Website to read blog posts: pathefiway.com Prefer to pin the posts that you found informative? Follow along on Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/pathefiway

Husband Material
Vulnerability 101 (LIVE)

Husband Material

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 7, 2022 47:15


What is true vulnerability? Why is it so important? When is it safe? And how can I get better at it? In this episode, I answer all these questions and more...If you want to become more vulnerable with men committed to curiosity and compassion, apply to join an upcoming Husband Material group at husbandmaterial.com/groupResources on vulnerability (including paid links):The Power Of Vulnerability (TED Talk) by Brené BrownDaring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead, by Bréne BrownThe Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brené BrownRefuge: How Hospital Church Ministry Can Change Your Church Forever, by James Reeves

The Human Potential Podcast
Live Your Truth with Chris Chandler - Master Instructor with SoulCycle, Founding Instructor with Equinox Plus, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, & Regional Vice President with Arbonne International

The Human Potential Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 13, 2022 92:15


Chris Chandler is a Master Instructor with SoulCycle, Founding Instructor with Equinox Plus, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, & Regional Vice President with Arbonne International. What's unique about Chris is that a life-changing event, filled with grief, propelled him on a journey of self-exploration, and ultimately helped him find his truth, his dream job, and a lot more. In this episode, we dive deep into his intrapreneurial & entrepreneurial journey, the importance of building community & connection, how to succeed as a SoulCycle instructor, why he loves Arbonne so much, and so much more.  And make sure to listen to the end where Chris shares how we all have the ability to connect back to our own, unique greatness. That is our human potential! So whether you're interested in indoor cycling, joy & nutrition coaching, or how to live in a way that is authentically you, this episode is for you.   Episode links & resources: Chris Chandler || Website | Instagram Chris @ SoulCycle Institute For Integrative Nutrition Arbonne International Earnings.Arbonne B Corporation Azusa Pacific University (APU) lululemon Domain (North Austin, TX) Intrapreneur vs. Entrepreneur I Will Teach You To Be Rich (book by Ramit Sethi) I Will Teach You To Be Rich (Podcast by Ramit Sethi) Peloton Barry's Atlas Of The Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience (book by Brené Brown) The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are (book by Brené  Brown) Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (book by Brené  Brown) Brené Brown (website) George Kinder's Three Questions For Life Planning 11 Personal Finance Tips For Self-Employed Movement, Health, & Healing Professionals Human Potential Personal Finance

Making Special Education Actually Work
Fecal Smearing, Disability, and the January 6, 2021 Insurrection

Making Special Education Actually Work

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2022 20:03


This is not a pleasant topic at all, so I want to start out this post/podcast with the understanding that I know this isn't a pleasant topic. That doesn't make it something to avoid, however. Problems aren't solved by pretending they don't exist. For those of us who work with people with significant mental disabilities, fecal smearing, otherwise knows as “scatolia,” is a behavior we usually encounter among individuals with significant developmental disabilities and dementia. These behaviors often happen among these populations very frequently alongside other bowel-related health issues, such as constipation and encopresis. Simply put, constipation is poop not coming out and encopresis is poop not staying in. The function of most fecal smearing behaviors appears to be communicative, especially among individuals who are nonverbal or have limited verbal abilities. In verbal individuals who engage in these behaviors, other significant mental impairments are still present, whether its the loss of mental functioning due to dementia; the failure of mental maturity due to developmental disabilities, such as intellectual disabilities and/or autism; or some forms of mental illness. Fecal throwing and smearing can also be seen among other primates. It's a primitive, infantile behavior. When I was 20 years old, I worked in a nursing home providing hands-on care to medically fragile and/or mentally compromised elderly people. All of us knew who the poop-throwers were. The one on my wing was also an Evangelical Christian who would sing church hymns while throwing her poop at anyone passing by and accusing them of being the Devil. The exception was the visiting Evangelical pastor who would stop by to visit the patients every week, but he would come down the hallway singing a hymn at the top of his lungs so she would know it was him before he walked into her room, or he would get it, too. I encountered fecal smearing behaviors once again when I finished my undergraduate degree and started working as a job coach in the community with adults challenged by developmental disabilities. One of the young men on my caseload was a fairly capable individual with autism who, in spite of his many attributes that made him employable to bus tables, serve drinks, and perform general maintenance in a restaurant, would engage in fecal smearing whenever someone made him upset. What had started as a behavior when he was younger with less language abilities had become a deeply entrenched learned behavior that followed him into adulthood long after he had developed completely intact verbal communication skills. The differences between these two examples from my own life were important to note. In the nursing home, the woman on my wing with fecal throwing behaviors was kept on laxatives so that her feces wasn't solid enough to hold in her hand for throwing. Cleaning up bedpans was infinitely less work and trauma than jumping into the hazmat shower fully clothed and going home in scrubs from the supply closet because our own clothes had been ruined. By comparison, the young man who struggled to hold onto a job and a group home placement because of this behavior was successfully broken of the habit through Applied Behavioral Analysis (ABA), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and psychotropic medication management to address anxiety and depression. Because he was verbal, he was able to talk with his therapist about the feelings he was having when he engaged in these behaviors and we were able to come up with a plan that helped him deal with those feelings appropriately, eventually extinguishing the scatolia altogether. He's been employed every time I've encountered him since, mostly in the community eating at the restaurants where he has worked. What we discovered based on what he was telling us is that, historically, he had found himself in situations where he couldn't tell people what he was thinking for lack of language and, later, as the language started coming on, because he was afraid to complain about certain things for fear of retaliation or punishment. The degree to which he was correct in his perceptions about those past experiences is not as important as the fact that he was afraid to say anything with words, but he could express himself non-verbally through fecal smearing. Fecal smearing behaviors tend to orient around protest, disagreement, and retaliation, based on what little research has been conducted on the topic so far. Most of the available research comes from mental institutions and long-term care facilities. I could find no research about fecal smearing happening in the general community, though such research may exist and I just couldn't find it. So much of the research is hidden behind paywalls that it's not accessible to everyday people, which is a topic of discussion all to itself for another time. I brought this subject up in my book club last night (we're currently reading The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW). One of the other club members shared that her home had been broken into years ago and robbed. The robbers also pooped on her wooden floors, ruining the finish, and she had to wait for a year-and-a-half to have the time and money to refinish her floors, with the damaged spot where the poop had been, serving as a daily reminder of the sense of violation she had experienced. Now that I think about it, the same thing happened to my grandparents in the 1990s while they were on an RV trip, only the poop was on their walls. My book club friend stated the police officers who had responded to the call advised her that this was a common behavior witnessed among break-in robberies like hers. Law enforcement may be a better source of information about the prevalence of fecal smearing in the general community, which goes to the degree to which we have delegated the responsibilities of our mental health agencies to law enforcement. Behavioral researchers should look there for data about the frequency with which these incidents occur and how they are addressed. Needless to say, there was no scholarly research I could find that was specific to the fecal smearing behaviors that happened during the Insurrection of January 6, 2021, at the Capitol of the United States of America. Only official records from the government and reports in the media capture the incident. I'm quoting the Trial Memorandum of the U.S. House of Representatives from the second impeachment proceedings against the 45th president of the United States, here: Once inside, insurrectionists desecrated and vandalized the Capitol. They ransacked Congressional Leadership offices—breaking windows and furniture, and stealing electronics and other sensitive material. They left bullet marks in the walls, looted art, smeared feces in hallways,and destroyed monuments … [Emphasis added.] This has been bothering me ever since it was first reported shortly after the Insurrection that fecal smearing had occurred during this incident as well. Based on what I already know about fecal smearing behaviors, what that tells me is that at least one person with profound disabilities was among the Insurrectionists. Based on the other overt behaviors of the Insurrectionists, it's safe to say that America's mental health crisis reached an apex of sorts, though it isn't done showing itself, yet, based on the continuing domestic terrorism threats we all still face. It's an Extinction Burst of a sort, and one we cannot afford to reinforce. These individuals are seeking reinforcement for behaviors that were once rewarded and escalating their behaviors when the rewards are not forthcoming. I think they're all cries for help, but the behaviors are so off-putting to most other people that they are disinclined to help and eager to ostracize anyone engaging in them. I think ostracizing these people helps the rest of us avoid the unpleasantness of dealing with these behaviors, but it's not a democratic response, much less an ethical one, We need a plan as a people on how to solve these problems, not punish people for having them. I'm not saying that people who commit crimes shouldn't pay for them. I'm saying that the causes of criminal behaviors have to be addressed so they don't happen in the first place. There is way too much money being made on incarcerating Americans instead of helping them. The bigger concern for me, these days, though, is how many other people in positions of power actually understand the severity of our nation's mental health crisis and choose to exploit these individuals rather than meet their needs, such as the 45th president of the United States, for example. Protest, disagreement, and retaliation are the usual communicative functions of fecal smearing, and the Insurrection-related fecal smearing doesn't appear to be different in that regard. Everyone involved in the Insurrection was there to protest, disagree, and retaliate. What this specific form of communication tells us is that the people who engaged in it felt desperate enough to express their feelings through these actions rather than words, as if words had failed them and/or they didn't feel safe to use them. When people are mentally impaired and don't fully understand everything going on around them, they can easily become confused, misled, and manipulated by others. They are often aware when others are mistreating them even if they don't fully understand the hows and whys. They know when they find themselves in a disadvantaged situation and will harbor valid resentments about it, but they often don't know who did what to make it happen, much less what to do to make things better. When you have a right to be angry but you don't know how to get out of the situation, and no one is stepping up to help you, it's easy to become angry at everyone. You feel like the whole world is against you and there's nothing you can do. At that point, you default to the highest stage of social emotional development you've completely mastered, which may be well below your chronological age depending on the degree to which your social emotional development was healthy or not. Once someone becomes so overwhelmed emotionally in the absence of a solution that they start freaking out, very childlike – even infantile – behaviors are likely to ensue. In the name of “liberty” and “freedom,” we've absolved ourselves of any responsibilities for the welfare of our neighbors. Personal liberty becomes confused with narcissism. People pay lip service to the ideals of the Constitution while exploiting their neighbors for financial gain. Money is an imaginary construct that many people value more than human life. Many of these same people claim to be true believers in Christ, effectively singing church hymns as they sling their poo at everyone else. I don't recall any part of the New Testament encouraging that kind of behavior, but religious scholars who have studied the texts more closely than I have are welcome to correct me if I'm wrong. Most of us understand that the people who got sucked into the 45th president's own mental health crisis are also not well, but they also account for approximately one-third of our population. That makes them a dangerous minority that has now grown into a domestic terrorism problem. It puts the assertions by the majority of Muslims around the world that Islam is not a religion of violence into context, now that we've got our own violent religious radicals here at home calling themselves Christians. The inextricable intertwining of religion and mental health problems in societies is yet another topic for a separate conversation, but I have to point out that there are many responsible faith leaders struggling to lead as many of their congregationalists abandon the teachings of Christ to follow every wolf in sheep's clothing that steps into their path. American commercialism and its own brand of capitalism have created a competitive mindset about everything in our culture. It's “My high school football team is going to crush your high school football team.” It's, “My church is made up of the chosen and all the other churches are full of people going to Hell.” It's, “My neighborhood is the best and everyone else lives in a dump.” Where is this narcissistic drive to be “better” than everyone else coming from in a society that's supposed to be democratic? Why do we feel driven to create a caste of “losers” to make ourselves feel like “winners”? How does hurting other people make someone a “winner”? People have developed brand loyalties around things that aren't actually brands. American consumerism and its obscene obsession with the pursuit of material wealth has grossly undermined the uniform message of every great faith. Wanting more than what one needs while others go without contradicts every pious teaching of every great religious leader the world has ever remembered. We're all supposed to be collaborating with each other, not competing with each other, to survive as a species. Raising children from birth under conditions that deprive them of developmentally necessary opportunities to reach adulthood physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually intact, is an uphill battle. The science is clear that the type of family support system an individual has is irrelevant; what matters is whether they have any type of support system at all. Children growing up in homeless shelters with after school tutoring, social services, higher education and job placement services for parents, etc., remain as academically intrinsically motivated as children living in traditional family homes with access to resources. The gender identity and sexual orientations of parents have zero bearing on the quality of their parenting. Parenting becomes poor when it fails to nurture childhood development, regardless of the gender or orientation of the parent. What we can safely deduce from witnessing current events as it relates to the known science is that being raised in economic extremes, whether extreme poverty or extreme wealth, deprives children of developmental opportunities that undermine their mental, emotional, and communicative growth. Extremely wealthy children are at risk of never learning how to do anything for themselves and will implode the minute they have to deal with serious life challenges. Extremely poor children are at risk of malnutrition, homelessness, and other hardships that make mere survival the priority without the opportunities to work on any other part of their development. As the middle class in America continues to disappear, we're at risk of more and more people ending up at one economic extreme or the other and their children growing up thinking that humanity is truly divided as a matter of nature into two classes: the “haves” and the “have nots.” If that's all they see growing up, the divide becomes a hard and fast expected part of society. What do you think happens to a society that is made up entirely of people who failed to reach developmental maturity? It goes Lord of the Flies pretty quickly, after that. In my ever-worried imagination, under such circumstances, humans will return to the trees if we survive as a species at all. I keep thinking, “Maybe the bonobos will have a better go at sentience than we did.” It makes me want to teach them sign language just so I can tell them all the mistakes we've made and what to avoid. The first thing I'll teach them is, “Use your words, not your poop.” Returning the present issue of poop-smeared threats to our democracy wrapped in Confederate flags, I have a theory about one particular aspect of the problem that I haven't seen discussed in the news about the Select Committee's investigation into the Insurrection of January 6, 2021. In my line of work, the Americans with Disabilities Act and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act come up quite frequently. When I see things that do not appear to conform with their requirements, they jump out at me. Given that were clearly dealing with people struggling with mental disabilities of one type or another, and given that social media has been instrumental in feeding them misinformation while giving them the tools to organize, it appears to me that the social media algorithms are not coded in a manner that reasonably accommodates users with the types of mental disabilities that make them vulnerable to misinformation and recruiting tactics of foreign adversaries and domestic terrorists. If anything, social media's absence of reasonable accommodations in its coding for users with these types of mental issues is creating more domestic terrorists than we already had in the first place, suddenly taking them from the fringes of our society to a sizable, dangerous minority of violent people bent on overthrowing the government. In the absence of effective mental health interventions, the manipulators swooped in and weaponized our own neglected mentally impaired citizens against us. What we don't take care of will take care of us. That's the whole reason that “being careful” is so important. “Being careful” isn't about avoiding problems, it's about being full of care. Being caring means being responsible for your community as well as yourself and your immediate loved ones. It takes a village, as they say, but if you neglect your village, you cease to be part of it. We're all different for a reason. Whether you're a person of faith and see it as a component of our Creator's Great Plan or you're a secularist who sees it as a function of nature and evolution, or you're like me and think that nature and evolution are parts of the Creator's Great Plan, it's an obvious fact that we're all meant to be different by design. The failure to appreciate the role that diversity serves for the balance of everything has led to efforts by a few unstable individuals who manage to acquire power and try to remake humanity over into a monolith, casting out those who, by design, cannot conform to their invented social hierarchies. This is the essence of discrimination. It's what causes people with disabilities to be regarded as less than human. Anyone who is discriminated against for any other reason should be empathetic to the discrimination experienced by people with mental disabilities that affect their behaviors, but our knee-jerk reaction is to be repulsed by the most extreme behaviors in which we see these people behave. These behaviors, while often intolerable and highly inappropriate, are still cries for help, we need to see them that way, and we need to collectively demand our elected officials to enforce the ADA and Section 504 when it comes to social media algorithms. My theory is that, if we use the existing language of the ADA and, where applicable, Section 504, to compel social media platforms to stop preying on the weakest minds among us, it will not only create jobs for coders knowledgeable of the law, but also enforcement officials knowledgeable of the code. Rather than looking at the daunting task of coding the Code into social media platforms as an insurmountable challenge, it should be seen as a significant step towards true democracy that creates desperately needed jobs. The solution would solve more than one significant problem in this country and serve as an example of adult-level problem-solving for the rest of the world. Marketing research tells us that customer loyalty is greater after a vendor has had to work with a customer to solve a problem than if there was never any problem at all. It's not a source of shame for America to trip over its own feet and experience growing pains as it sheds the hypocrisy and anti-democratic practices of the past; what makes it shameful or not is how we respond. If we can bounce back from the threats our democracy if facing right now with science across the board in every domain of need, including our nation's ongoing mental health crisis, and enforce the ADA and, where appropriate, Section 504, on social media platforms, no additional regulations are necessarily needed. If any other regulations of social media become necessary above and beyond that, so long as the First Amendment is still protected while also preventing troubled people from getting sucked down the rabbit holes of conspiracy theories, we'll redeem ourselves in the eyes of the world. At least, that's my theory.

Voices of The Goddess
Episode 81: Morgana Mueser, Physical/Massage Therapist, Business Owner

Voices of The Goddess

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 15, 2021 35:05


Tune in, and open up, to meet the Goddess of unconditional positive regard, Morgana Mueser! Morgana grew up in North Carolina and attended UNC Chapel Hill twice. She has been a physical therapist for 23 years and a massage therapist for 6 years. She currently resides in Apex, North Carolina with her furchildren, 2 dogs and a cat. She has a fabulous 20 year old daughter who is off at college in NYC. Back in April 2021, after doing a variety of things over the worst of the pandemic when she didn't feel like massage was a good idea, she reopened her private practice, Triple Spiral, which includes massage, physical therapy, and ergonomic consulting. In her spare time she enjoys gardening, beekeeping, yoga, spending time with friends, family, and pets. She is interested in fostering connections and a feeling of support, compassion, and community.Morgana's most influential book(s): The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, and Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown; and Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life, and Stop Doing That Sh*t: End Self-Sabotage and Demand Your Life Back by Gary John Bishop Morgana's website: https://www.triplespiralllc.com Morgana on Facebook: @triplespiralllcMorgana on Instagram: @triplespiralllcMention in the show: https://brenebrown.com #selfcare #love #mentalhealth Subscribe To and Watch The Voices of The Goddess with Julietta Wenzel and Allyson Mancini on Youtube HERE:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJkusUQRFjoRa0oDQpCLAbA/videos Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Voices-of-the-Goddess-356165865475415Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/voicesofthegoddess/ Voices of The Goddess with Julietta the Magical PT and Allyson the Holistic Nutritionist is a show that  supports modern day goddesses in developing their super powers and acquiring the tools they need to achieve all their desires. Join us each week as we interview amazing women in the community who share their insights and how they use their tools to make their dreams a reality. Allyson, a Michigander, moved to South Florida in 1993 with her fiancé, Nick. Married for 27 years with two children, Nicholas 24 and Lexi  21.  A SAHM for 24 years and now an empty nester, she has found her true passion as a Holistic Nutritionist. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthylifestyleinandoutInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/allysonkmancini/?hl=en Julietta grew up in Wisconsin and graduated with a Physical Therapy degree from University of Wisconsin-Madison.  When not busy treating patients or teaching Voila Method in the US and internationally, she is making healing crystal art and jewelry, creating spiritual/healing paintings, or planning underground dining experiences. A contributing author in the best-selling book UNSTOPPABLE: Leverage Life Setbacks To Rebuild Resilience For Success. https://bodyandsoul-pt.com/   http://julietta.love/ https://soulcandycrystals.com/ https://www.facebook.com/TheMagicalPThttps://www.facebook.com/soulcandybyjuliettahttps://www.facebook.com/Juliettalove-108449684234840https://www.instagram.com/themagicalpt/https://www.instagram.com/soul_candy_/https://www.instagram.com/juliettadotlove/

Long Story Short
Long Story Short, Be Kind to Yourself

Long Story Short

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2021 85:51


This week Skye & Amanda read a Psychology Today article by Juliana Breines, “Self-Compassion vs. Letting Yourself Off the Hook”. The two define self compassion and discuss where they were with it prior to reading. They open up about what areas they see that they can make improvements with how much grace they give themselves. Together the ladies run through the four questions that Breines suggests we ask ourselves if we're unsure whether we are being genuinely self compassionate or just letting ourselves off easy.Skye talks about how hearing and receiving what other people think of her has positively impacted how she sees herself. Amanda talks about how she's bringing self compassion into her career and what grief has taught her about common humanity. Books mentioned in this week's episode are linked to our Bookshop.org shop* Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristen NeffGifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene BrownArticles mentions in this week's episode: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-love-and-war/202006/self-compassion-vs-letting-yourself-the-hookThis week's ‘Bout That Action! highlight is: NoName Book Club & Radical Hood Library Follow @book.clubhq on IG and stop by the library's Los Angeles locationSupport Long Story Short and Local Bookstores: Libro.FM - get two audiobooks for the price of one when you use the code LSSPODCAST when signing up for your first month of membership. Long Story Short Hotline: (646) 543-6232Follow us online:Instagram: @LongStoryShortPodTwitter: @LSSpodcastFacebook: @LongStoryShortPodEmail: info.longstoryshortpod@gmail.com*Purchasing books through Bookshop.org earns Long Story Short a small commission.

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Midlife Mommas
Dr. Ellen, The Midlife Whisperer

Midlife Mommas

Play Episode Play 32 sec Highlight Listen Later Sep 1, 2021 40:43


Join us this week for an empowering and helpful talk with Dr. Ellen, The Midlife Whisperer. Dr. Ellen is a registered dietician, a Ph.D. psychologist, and a mindful/self-compassion coach. She has a new book: Rock Your Midlife: 7 Steps to Transform Yourself and Make Your Next Chapter Your Best Chapter.We tackle the difficult subject of the 'psychology of food.' Dr. Ellen explains how psychology - the study of mind and behavior affects the body and how food impacts psychology. 'We are made of cells, and those cells are made of the food we eat.' - Dr. Ellen.To help change behaviors about food, you need to understand what's driving the behavior. Food choices are rarely about the food itself. What's the biggest challenge??(We must) embrace who we are and to love ourselves exactly as we are. -Dr. EllenIt's hard to change a body we hate, so we tend to medicate with food. This creates a vicious cycle involving shame and hiding. Who wants to do something that makes you feel like you're losing? This is what drives the multi-million dollar 'diet culture', which rarely imparts lasting change. Join us as we teach you how to really change, how to tap into your caring and compassion hormone - oxytocin, which is more likely to help you create lasting change, rather than relying on your pleasure receptor - dopamine.Dr. Ellen is a wealth of knowledge. Her energy is fantastic - you can hear the joy in her voice. Dr. Ellen has been helping women find joy and health while not feeling deprived, but by tapping into their true life force. We know you'll love her as much as we do.Resources:https://drellenalbertson.comThe Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are  by Dr. Brene Brown If this episode helped you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening and post it to your Instagram stories, and tag us, @thehelpfulplate, @heymomma_cam, @midlife.mommas.Join us on the midlife journey!Websites: www.camoyler.com and www.thehelpfulplate.comInstagram: www.Instagram.com/midlife.mommasFacebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifemusclewithcam

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Create The Ripple Podcast
How important is knowing your personal values in your day-to-day life? with Danielle Reed

Create The Ripple Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2021 66:48


Danielle Reed and I spoke about one of my favorite topics - values. Last year, as we entered the pandemic, I *finally* made time to do a “values exercise”. It was an extension of a smaller values list I had done before. This one, I took the time to think, considering fully the definitions and etymology of each word… I made a lot of word discoveries and discoveries about myself.    I would love to invite you to listen in and consider if maybe it's time for you to make time to discover your core values - and experience the clarity, peace and impact of that on your life! **   “When something is off, pause and go through your values. You'll find the one that is off and all you gotta do in that moment is say, how can I step more towards this right now, right in this moment. We get our power back when we realize that we are in control of this, that I can step back on my path, in any moment. It's not always easy, but it's possible.” - Danielle Reed Connect with Danielle Reed:   https://coachonthego.net/   https://www.fitfierce.ca/   https://coachonthego.net/one-day-workshops/   https://coachonthego.net/the-daring-way-4/   https://coachonthego.net/a-year-of-joy/   https://coachonthego.net/rising-strong/     https://coachonthego.net/shop/   https://www.facebook.com/coachonthego.net   https://www.instagram.com/coach_onthego/ Mentioned in interview:   **As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases**   Danielle Reed: It's Time to Stop Making Bagels: A Journey Towards Embracing Imperfection Paperback https://amzn.to/3yVRneV   Danielle Reed: 30 Days to What Matters (Full Colour): A Values Journal Paperback   https://amzn.to/36ytQnS   Danielle Reed: What Matters?: Find Your Values, Live Your Values, Give Others Permission to do the Same Paperback   https://amzn.to/3r3BzUq   Don Miguel Ruiz: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom https://amzn.to/3wALEJN   Don Miguel Ruiz: The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book) Kindle Edition   https://amzn.to/3yTj7Au   Caroline Myss: Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential   https://amzn.to/3r3zU1j   Caroline Myss: Sacred Contracts: Awakening Your Divine Potential Kindle Edition https://amzn.to/3AV8hvH   Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler: Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High https://amzn.to/3AXDcaM   Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler: Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition Kindle Edition   https://amzn.to/3xABQ3G   Brene Brown - Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Love, Parent & Lead   https://amzn.to/3kp33Tt   Brene Brown - Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead Kindle Edition https://amzn.to/3wDzakB Brene Brown - Gifts of Imperfection, The: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are  https://amzn.to/3AXJ4B2 Brene Brown - The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Kindle Edition https://amzn.to/3yTlnHY Tarana Burke and Brene Brown - You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience Kindle Edition https://amzn.to/3xE8KjX   Tarana Burke and Brene Brown - You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience https://amzn.to/2UIiHy8   Brene Brown: Dare to Lead https://amzn.to/3yQu1Hr   Brene Brown: Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Kindle Edition https://amzn.to/3hFYBhn   Brene Brown - Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone  https://amzn.to/3rcCWQP   Brene Brown - Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone Kindle Edition https://amzn.to/3yKChIS   Brene Brown - Rising Strong  https://amzn.to/3yL0Rt2   Brene Brown - Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead Kindle Edition https://amzn.to/3AOquuW   Brene Brown - I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" https://amzn.to/3hxjV8q   Brene Brown - I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" Kindle Edition https://amzn.to/3keZWgy ** My bio goes something like this...   I am going to make everything around me beautiful - that will be my life. (Elsie De Wolfe) This quote is my subtle mission in life...    I'm a mom to an amazing little girl, girlfriend to an amazing man, a social marketer with an amazing online values driven company, podcaster, thought leader, and the Editor-in-Chief of an online publication. I find a ton of my life's joy in connecting people, to other people, places and things.   I love speaking, writing, creating, traveling and connecting. A natural leader and disruptor, I have a passion for helping men and women to trust the niggle (trust themselves), tell the truth (boundaries are an amazing thing) and speak, even when their voice shakes. I'm a champion for the underdog, can't doesn't exist in my vocabulary and I believe that taking radical responsibility in your life changes everything.   Curious to know more? https://linktr.ee/CandiceSmiley   Modere.com or Modere.ca : 5579027 BIOCELL LIFE SAVE $10.00 CODE: https://www.modere.ca/ProductDetail/liquidbiocell-life-ca/?referralCode=5579027     DISCLOSURE: I USE MY WEBSITE, MAGAZINE AND SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS TO CREATE THE INCOME THAT SUPPORTS MY LIFESTYLE. WHEN YOU FOLLOW ME POSTS/ARTICLES/PAGES/ESSAYS  MAY CONTAIN AFFILIATE LINKS, MEANING I GET A COMMISSION IF YOU DECIDE TO MAKE A PURCHASE THROUGH MY LINKS, AT NO COST TO YOU. PLEASE READ MY DISCLOSURE FOR MORE INFO Musique credit Tiffany Sparrow and Chinmaya Dunster www.tiffanysparrow.com www.sparrowharmonix.com/#music   Special thank you to Angel Carrola Hennig for making this podcast happen   @faithinsmallhands  

Anxiety Road Podcast
ARP 252 Anxiety and Iceberg Thoughts

Anxiety Road Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2021 8:44


An iceberg belief is a self-limited thought. And one of the strange things about it is that some of those self-limiting thoughts can come from your family, broadcast and social media or your culture. Anxiety and anxiety symptoms can amp up or bring to the surface some of those embedded thoughts.   Those thoughts can pop up as you watch a video. A car racing down the street. A song that brings up a memory. Or it is 1:57pm and you got a way to go before the end of the day.   You are whipping on yourself that working, doing, being isn't enough. You feel mediocre or less than you think you should be. Sometimes a bunch of commercials try to reinforce that statement.    "Just buy Cranko and you will feel or live better."    The iceberg belief can add fuel to your anxiety about a situation. That may or may not be true.    In this episode, a definition of a self-limiting thought, some examples and a few resources to ponder.   If you need support contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, the Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 741-741. In the News:   Washington Post article about how men ignore their mental health issues.   U.S. National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) Brochures and Fact Sheets page on mental health conditions. You can download a pdf or even have a copy of the brochure mailed to you.   There is also a NIMH brochure about Men and Depression, it explains what depression is, causes and treatment options.    Resources Mentioned:  The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are – Brené Brown. You can find the book or audiobook at almost any book vendor. On her website there is a page with a Brave and Brokenhearted manifesto.  Mark Manson's page on What are limiting beliefs?   Meg James from Australia has a worksheet on Limiting Belief that you can work though.   On the InsightTimer website there is a course from Meg on Simple Tools for Self-Acceptance. The first section is free and gives you an idea of what to expect.    Pickthebrain.com worksheet on self-limiting thoughts. Disclaimer:  Links to other sites are provided for information purposes only and do not constitute endorsements.  Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health disorder. This blog and podcast is intended for informational and educational purposes only. Nothing in this program is intended to be a substitute for professional psychological, psychiatric or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Voices Rising Podcast with Sarah and Shelly
The Gifts of Imperfection Book Club: Episode 14- Voices Rising Podcast

Voices Rising Podcast with Sarah and Shelly

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 30, 2021 77:56


Join us as we explore, Brene Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think Your Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. Together we go in deep into courage, compassion, and connection. By tapping into our courage and doing even the scary and hard things we are embracing our imperfections. With the help of compassion, we explore self-compassion and with Brene's deep work and research, we learn how we can move into connection. This piece comes not only from having courage and allowing ourselves permission to have compassion not only for others but ourselves. Brene's work with shame and guilt transforms from book to book. Here inside of The Gifts of Imperfection, we learn how guilt can be helpful. Guilt is found in action from mistakes we make, whereas shame is deep-seated into who we think and believe we are. This book helps us better explore the possibilities of owning our imperfections and stepping into them with vulnerability. Short Bio: Brene Brown is a storyteller, writer, American professor, lecturer, mother, wife, and podcast host. Her work with shame and guilt has allowed vulnerability at new levels and believes we all are capable of shame resilience. Thank you Brene for the deep work you put into the world! Intro and outro muisc Sarah Caton originals

Seek Go Create
The Power of Words, Faith, and Empathy with Amy Wolff

Seek Go Create

Play Episode Listen Later May 24, 2021 71:40


People often turn their heads away from encouraging words plastered on the streets. They scoff and think these words are nothing but cliché. After all, how can simple words heal gaping wounds? But this is exactly what Amy did. She changed people’s lives, and ultimately the world, with some yard signs and simple motivational words. In this episode, we talk to Amy Wolff, a speaker, coach and founder of Don’t Give Up Signs about the power of words and empathy. She relays the story behind her viral yard signs that inspired and helped many people. Amy candidly shares the events that challenged her belief system and helped her become more empathetic to others. We also talk about faith, politics, and the importance of nuance.  Listen to the episode if you want to know more about the power of words and empathy. Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode: Learn more about the inspiration behind the Don’t Give Up movement. Know about the events that changed Amy’s black-and-white belief system. Discover the power of words and the way we deliver it. Resources Subscribe to our https://seekgocreate.com/ (website) and other https://seekgocreate.com/platforms/?et_fb=1&PageSpeed=off (social channels) to get resources from our guests and updates on our latest giveaways and episodes. https://distinctioncommunication.com/ (Distinction Communication Inc. )   https://www.amazon.com/Signs-Hope-Small-Change-World/dp/0310360692?dchild=1&keywords=signs+of+hope&qid=1617039996&sr=8-2&linkCode=sl1&tag=iveymediallc-20&linkId=090abc7d14cdd877f7386e79d94a0f0a&language=en_US&ref_=as_li_ss_tl (Signs of Hope: How Small Acts of Love Can Change Your World) by Amy Wolff  https://www.amazon.com/Love-Does-Discover-Secretly-Incredible/dp/1400203759 (Love Does: Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World) by Bob Goff  https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X (The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are) by Brené Brown https://www.amazon.com/Seeds-Contemplation-Thomas-Merton/dp/0811209903 (Seeds of Contemplation) by Thomas Merton  Some personality tests you can check out:  https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/ (The Nine Enneagram Types) https://www.discprofile.com/ (DiSC) https://www.gallup.com/cliftonstrengths/en/home.aspx (Strengths Finder)  Check out Amy’s https://www.amynwolff.com/essays (essays) on faith, feminism, and politics.  Connect with Amy: https://www.amynwolff.com/ (Website) | https://facebook.com/amynwolff (Facebook) |https://www.linkedin.com/in/amynwolff/ (LinkedIn) | Instagram | Email  Know more about Don’t Give Up Signs: https://www.dontgiveupsigns.com/our-story (Website) | https://www.facebook.com/dontgiveupsigns (Facebook) | https://www.instagram.com/dontgiveupsigns/ (Instagram) https://seekgocreate.com/the-power-of-words-faith-and-empathy-with-amy-wolff/ (Episode Details) Enjoy the Podcast? Seek Go Create is for anyone seeking excellence, moving towards success, or creating something new. We share topics, stories, and conversations that allow us to rethink how we live, work, and lead. If you were inspired and educated by this episode, feel free to subscribe to us on https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5jYXB0aXZhdGUuZm0vc2Vlay1nby1jcmVhdGUv (Google Podcasts), https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/seek-go-create/id1481874131 (Apple Podcasts), or https://open.spotify.com/show/4pnLpMwK6gGeTJvXvVam5z (Spotify) so that you never miss another episode. Also, share this episode or what you’ve learned today on your favorite social media platform. Love to give us 5 stars? If you do, we’d love a review from you. By doing this, you can help us reach more people who want to redefine success in their lives. Connect with the SeekGoCreate Network! For updates and more episodes, visit

Bookey App 30 mins Book Summaries Knowledge Notes and More
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, by Brene Brown

Bookey App 30 mins Book Summaries Knowledge Notes and More

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2021 11:19


Too often, we are plagued by negative emotions, such as shame, fear, and low self-esteem. We even think that this kind of vulnerability hinders our progress in life. But in Dr. Brené Brown's view, our vulnerability grants us strength and provides us love and a sense of belonging. This book once stayed at #1 on the New York Times bestseller for more than 18 weeks and sold more than 1 million copies. The Gifts of Imperfection is a profound work that will show you how to lead a Wholehearted life.

Monday State of Mind
Episode 47: Read All About It

Monday State of Mind

Play Episode Play 35 sec Highlight Listen Later Mar 22, 2021 8:49


I am so excited to share this episode with you!I love books and have found them to be so useful in terms of building my confidence in sobriety. In this episode, I share 2 amazing books that have been an integral part of my recovery and have helped shape my State of Mind.This Naked Mind by Annie Grace: This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness & Change Your Life (Volume 1): Grace, Annie: 9780996715003: Amazon.com: BooksThe Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown:The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are: Brené Brown: 9781592858491: Amazon.com: BooksMentions:Harmony Foundation, Inc.

amazon state mind imperfection find freedom this naked mind imperfection let go who you think you brene brown the gifts
Stethoscopes to Swaddles Podcast
Embracing Imperfection- Wholehearted Motherhood- Part 1

Stethoscopes to Swaddles Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2021 26:23


SHOWNOTES- Imperfect Parenting Sign up for the Gratitude Challenge  https://stethoscopestoswaddles.com/gratitude/ Get the book: The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown  https://amzn.to/3rYlvTQ Introduction to wholehearted living According to Brené Brown, “Wholehearted living is about engaging with our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think, ‘No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.' It's going to bed at night thinking, ‘Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.” Wholehearted living is a process and a journey of a lifetime- what do we bring along? What does it take to live and love from a place of worthiness? Embrace imperfection? Cultivate what we need and get rid of the things holding us back? Courage, compassion, connection- the tools we need→ the gifts of imperfection Practices- the courage to reach out. “You learn courage by encouraging”- you learn motherhood by mothering Shame- practice courage and reach out. We have the right to own our story and share it with someone who has earned the right to hear it, whom we can count on to respond with compassion Comparative suffering and shame Courage- cor- latin for heart We can be compassionate and hold others accountable for their behaviors with boundaries   Love and belonging go hand in hand. Worthiness has no prerequisites. Self love and compassion is KEY   Shame, fear, and vulnerability Who do you become when you're backed into the shame corner? How do you protect yourself? Who do you call to work through it? What's the most courageous thing you could do for yourself when you feel small and hurt? We don't need love and belonging from everyone in our lives, but we need if from at least one person THE WHOLEHEARTED LIVING GUIDEPOSTS- PART ONE   Cultivating authenticity. Letting go of what people think Authenticity is a choice and practice. Authenticity is a daily practice in letting go of what people think we are supposed to be, and embracing who we are Cultivating self compassion. Letting go of perfectionism Shame is the birthplace of perfectionism Feeling shamed, judged and blamed are realities of the human experience Dr Kristin Neff. Components- self kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness   Cultivating a resilient spirit. Letting go of numbing and powerlessness Definition of resilience People who are resilient- seek help, have social support and connection Disappointment, entitlement and performance pressure are a recipe for hopelessness and self doubt Entitlement vs agency Numbing - if you numb the negative, you numb the positive Alcohol, drugs, food, sex, codependecny, money, taking care of others, overplanning, staying busy, overspending Purpose, meaning and perspective move us forward AEIOUY- Have I been abstinent today, have I exercised today, what have I done for myself today, what have i done for others today, am i holding on to Unexpressed emotions today, Yeah! What's something good that's happened today   Cultivating gratitude and joy. Letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark Gratitude is a practice Gratitude vs toxic positivity- Not denial of the comfort or discomfort in our lives   Cultivating intuition and trusting faith Intuition tells us what we need to do  Intuition is not a single way of knowing- it's our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we've developed knowledge and insight, including instinct, experience, faith and reason “Something told me” See you next week!

Life REIGNITED - Say YES to Living Your Best Life Now - LaSchelle Low
Dreams to Reality with Robyn Zaval from OnlyTheInspired.com

Life REIGNITED - Say YES to Living Your Best Life Now - LaSchelle Low

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2021 48:24


This episode is released to commemorate My Best Life Now's 1st anniversary! Wow, this year has gone by so fast! ------- This month's focus is on "Relationships That Thrive", so I invited relationship coach Robyn Zaval, from Raising Greatness Coaching. She is also the creator of OnlyTheInspired.com coaching platform which was launched in September 2020. She shares her journey as she discovered her life purpose, realized the value of coaching, saw the vision for OnlyTheInspired.com and her passion for coaching. She also shares some relationship lessons she learned along the way. Sit back and enjoy the conversation! REIGNITE your life! Take action to serve your dreams. A 5 minute baby step moves you one step closer to the life of your dreams! Today is the a beautiful day to live your best life now! --------- Robyn's Gift: OnlyTheInspired Offer: Sign Up To Get A Free 30 Day Membership https://onlytheinspired.com/life-reignited/ --------- Robyn's Favorite Song: "If Today Was Your Last Day" by Nickelback Robyn's Favorite Books: "Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action" by Simon Sinek "Blue Ocean Strategy, Expanded Edition: How to Create Uncontested Market Space and Make the Competition Irrelevant" by W. Chan Kim and Renée Mauborgne "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts" by Gary Chapman Robyn loves all things Brené Brown. Brené's books include "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are", "I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"", "Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead" and "Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts." https://brenebrown.com/downloads/ Robyn's Favorite Healthy Snack: Jennie's Organic Coconut Bites with Cranberries, Chia Seeds, Goji Berries & Chocolate -------- Life REIGNITED Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1OvhxpUTgRroYSRQM60llt -------- Happy 1st Anniversary My Best Life Now!

Kale and Kids
A Wholistic Approach To Bodily Imbalances

Kale and Kids

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2021 52:32


On todays show Jamie Kennedy from IG @resilientmama and I discuss how to uncover bodily imbalances from the root cause. This wholistic approach looks at the body as a system rather than a compartmentalized being. We discuss: Heavy metals & gut dysbiosis Your motherly intuition is always right- trust yourself enough to trust that Everything is your own responsibility and our reaction to events/people/things We find growth and miracles in change and adversity Living a life in constant fear is not living a life at all Jamie Kennedy can be found on ig @resilientmama or her website https://www.resilientintegrativehealth.com/ The two book titles that Jamie mentions are: The Rain Barrel Effect: How a 6,000 year old answer holds the secret to finally getting well, losing weight & feeling alive again! By Dr. Stephen Cabral The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think Your'e Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are By Brene Brown    

living bodily imbalances jamie kennedy imperfection let go wholistic approach
It's the Journey
Episode 8: Janelle Esposito, LPC-Exploring Therapy

It's the Journey

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2021 85:56


In my book AfterLIFE I spoke very openly about my experience with therapy because of the profound importance it played in my healing and growth. I didn't access this tool for many years in my life, because I thought doing so was “giving up” or “being weak”. No one in my world ever discussed what it was or the benefits they received from. I believed that I could positive affirmation may way through anything in life. That plus a combination of physical exercise that helped me burn through anxiety until several crisis hit me at once and I finally reached out for help. See my book for the complete story :) I've been open about my experience so others will maybe reach out sooner than I did, but I could only speak from layman's perspective, and my experience so I wanted to bring an expert on to have general conversation about therapy, what it is, how one finds a therapist, different ways to access it on various budgets and more! As a practicing Licensed Professional Counselor, Janelle brings all that and more to this great conversation. I learned so much and hope you do to! Please like and subscribe to my podcast where ever you listen to it, share it with the world and leave a kind word wherever you can! Thank you for joining me, and enjoy your Journey! Resources Mentioned in this Podcast: To reach Janelle: Janelle@avenuescounselingcenter.org Great Therapy an finding a therapist resource: Psychology Today Books Discussed: Letters to a Young Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke The Gift of Therapy, Dr. Irvin D. Yalom The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Brené Brown The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle Anything by Ken Wilber --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/carlopodcast/support

therapy licensed professional counselor esposito young poet podcastto embrace who you are imperfection let go who you think you
Exploring the Seasons of Life
Aromatherapy Involves a Holistic Approach with Virginia Joy

Exploring the Seasons of Life

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 2, 2021 29:36


“The earth laughs in flowers.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Guest Introduction:   This is Exploring the Seasons of Life podcast episode 44. I’m Cindy MacMillan and today’s guest is Virginia Joy.  Welcome to Exploring the Seasons of Life, a podcast for women with a big heart on a spiritual journey. Each week, join Cindy MacMillan as she interviews coaches, spiritual explorers and celebrants from all walks of life about beginnings, endings and the messy bits in-between. Self-love, well-being, and mindset are at the heart of our conversations because once you change the inside, the outside will begin to change as well.   Virginia Joy is originally from New York. Born in Brooklyn and she knew as a kid she always wanted to help people. Virginia Joy’s interest in Aromatherapy began over 20 years ago…as many who seek alternative therapies. She began using essential oils for common ailments: headaches, colds and flu, and then found herself reaching for essential oils for many other issues in particular - addressing the emotions. This was back in 1983, and there really weren’t many resources to buy essential oils at all.   In 2010 Stillpoint Aromatics was formally birthed.  At Stillpoint Aromatics, she sources and imports over 400 essential oils and extracts! All of Stillpoint's oils are either certified organic, wild-harvested, unsprayed, biodynamically farmed with the rhythms of the earth and or vintage.  Here’s a glimpse of our conversation:  4:35 You know, it really was. It was really an organic journey and looking back, I think those journeys, the unplanned ones are the most rewarding and the most expansive. 6:15 It's a great question and there's a lot of confusion because essential oils are not flower essences and vice versa. 11:17 So even if somebody has, let's say, a back issue, there will always be a pain blend, so to speak for the back. But there's always another reason why that back is flaring. And that's where aromatherapy can add such a different dimension working on the psyche and on those patterns that cause the physical issue.  15:24 But for just grief in general, Melissa (Melissa officinalis) it's also lemon balm is one of the premier oils for shock and trauma. I have a psychiatrist friend that uses Melissa - keeps a couple of drops on a cotton ball in a plastic bag in his office - for when his patients either disassociate or are having a lot of trouble - to breathe that.  16:43 But people say what's your favorite oil? I have to tell you, that the aromas that help shift me are Coppertone or Chinese food. And that's because it reminds me of my mother.  23:00 So in the Metaphysics of Essential Oils class, we do a lot of work on applying the essential oils to the chakras, and to the energetic body, and also how the chakras and energetic body ties into the different physical ailments that we could have. And we also go deeply into the folklore and the history of how the ancients use those plants and trees.  27:52 My website is www.stillpointaromatics.com. I have a couple of Facebook pages: Stillpoint Aromatics, and I also admin, the Ethical Aromatherapy, and my metaphysical one is called the Stillpoint Mystery School, and that's on Facebook. I think it's Stillpoint Aroma on Twitter and then you could also just if you want to just text me, you could just text me directly. It's 928-301-8699. And so that way you could bypass the store.   Thanks for joining us this week on Exploring the Seasons of Life podcast.  Make sure to visit our website, CynthiaMacMillan.com, where you can subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, or Spotify so you’ll never miss a show. While you’re at it, if you found value in this show we’d appreciate a rating on iTunes – or if you’d simply tell a friend about the show, that would help us out too.  Until next time live inspired! Resources Mentioned:   Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype  Untie the Strong Woman: Blessed Mother's Immaculate Love for the Wild Soul The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone  I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"  Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. You can find Virginia Joy at: Website  If you enjoyed this conversation with Virginia Joy you might also enjoy these other episodes: Crystals 101 with Angie Clark Human Design with Clare Marie Edgeman

new york spotify stories chinese courage exploring stitcher crystals essential oils metaphysics holistic approach stand alone aromatherapy involves untie i am enough women who run true belonging wild woman archetype imperfection let go wolves myths coppertone wilderness the quest who you think you what will people think i thought it was just me
Lost AF Wellness
Book Review: Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown | Episode 37

Lost AF Wellness

Play Episode Play 60 sec Highlight Listen Later Dec 31, 2020 49:38


Meg, Jenn, and Paula celebrate the 10th anniversary of Brené Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are."A motivational and inspiring guide to wholehearted living, rather than just the average self-help book, with this groundbreaking work Brené Brown, Ph.D., bolsters the self-esteem and personal development process through her characteristic heartfelt, honest storytelling. With original research and plenty of encouragement, she explores the psychology of releasing our definitions of an “imperfect” life and embracing living authentically. Brown’s “ten guideposts” are benchmarks for authenticity that can help anyone establish a practice for a life of honest beauty—a perfectly imperfect life.Now more than ever, we all need to cultivate feelings of self-worth, as well as acceptance and love for ourselves. In a world where insults, criticisms, and fears are spread too generously alongside messages of unrealistic beauty, attainment, and expectation, we look for ways to “dig deep” and find truth and gratitude in our lives. A new way forward means we can’t hold on too tightly to our own self-defeating thoughts or the displaced pain in our world. Instead, we can embrace the imperfection." - purchase here

embrace gifts bren brown gifts of imperfection embrace who you are imperfection let go who you think you
The Indian Edit
Ep. 43: Reflecting the richness and diversity of our world in children's books with Namrata Tripathi, VP & Publisher of Kokila, an imprint of Penguin Random House

The Indian Edit

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2020 75:39


Have a kid? Know a kid? Were a kid? This final episode of 2020 is a must listen! Honored to have publishing powerhouse Namrata Tripathi (founder and publisher of Kokila Books) join me in this wonderful chat where she talks about the power of representation in children's literature, how her international upbringing has shaped her, and what it's like to create a picture book with His Holiness The Dalai Lama!SHOWNOTES FOR EPISODE 43:Kokila Books on the web and instagramGuardian article (that I misquoted!) about the UK survey from the Centre for Literacy in Primary Education, which found that the proportion of British children's books featuring a black, Asian or minority ethnic main character had increased to 5% in 2019, from just 1% in 2017. Namrata's Turban Talk for Ignite @ KickstarterKOKILA BOOKS (Namrata shared how some of these gems were created):Fauja Singh Keeps Going: The True Story of the Oldest Person to Ever Run a Marathon by Simran Jeet SinghThe Seed of Compassion: Lessons from the Life and Teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, illustrated by Bao Luu Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy RibayAntiracist Baby by Ibram X. Kendi and illustrated by Ashley LukashevskyThe Ocean Calls: A Haenyeo Mermaid Story by Tina Cho, illustrated by Jess X. Snow My Rainbow by DeShanna Neal and Trinity Neal, illustrated by Art TwinkThe Night Diary by Veera Hiranandani PRE-ORDER:Fatima's Great Outdoors by Ambreen Tariq , illustrated by Stevie Lewis Laxmi's Mooch by Shelly Anand, illustrated by Nabi H. Ali OTHER BOOKS WE DISCUSSED:Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates Begin Again: James Baldwin's America and Its Urgent Lessons for Our Own by Eddie S. GlaudeThe Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo VillavicencioThe Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené BrownHood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall The Light of the World: A Memoir by Elizabeth AlexanderFollow us on Instagram for more on Namrata, Kokila, and everything we mentioned in this episode! Special thanks to Varun Dhabe, Aman Moroney and the team @ Boon Castle / Flying Carpet Productions for audio post-production engineering!

Go Bucket Yourself
Who determines your worth?: How to Increase Your Internal Worthiness

Go Bucket Yourself

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2020 46:13


Thank you so much for checking out this episode! This week Chris and Debbie sit down for a chat about worthiness. They answer the following questions, from their personal experience, plus much more:What's the difference between internal and external worthiness?How do feelings of unworthiness show up in everyday life?What are some drawbacks to striving for worthiness externally?Can you ever find worthiness through something external?What leads to feelings of unworthiness?What might be some ways to work toward feelings of worthiness?What are some tools and resources that could help with understanding and increasing internal worthiness?Resources mentioned in this episode:Don't Keep Your Day Job episode with David LynchThe Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene BrownI Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" by Brene BrownYOU: A Guide to Deeper Connection, a Lifestyle of Ease, and Massive Results by Brandon HawkThis quote by Alexandra Elle:"We can't be so desperate for love that we forget where we can always find it, within."Get your free "Stop the Drift" workbook HERE.

The Stormie Grace Astrology Podcast
RELATIONAL HOUSES WITH COLIN BEDELL

The Stormie Grace Astrology Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2020 53:02


Astrologer Colin Bedell and I discuss the Relational Houses (Houses 4-8) in Astrology. How to have healthy relationships based on what the signs of these houses need! Who rules your relational house and what are they looking for? BOOKS FROM THE SESSION LITERATURE "Attached" The New Science of Adult Attachment and How it Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love. (2010) by Amir Levine, Rachel S.F. Heller "The Intentional Family: How To Build Family Ties In Our Modern World" (1999) by William H. Doherty The Gottman Institute "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are" (2010). Brene Brown. "Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence: (2006). Esther Perel 1."Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love." (2019). John and Julie Gottman. 2. "Marriage Meetings for Lasting Love: 30 Minutes a Week to the Relationship You've Always Wanted" (2014) Marcia Naomi Berger 1."Getting the Love You Want: A Guide questions like who, what, for Couples." (2007). Dr. Harville when, where, why and how. Hendrix. 2. "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships. (2015) Marshall Rosenberg CHECK OUT COLIN: https://www.queercosmos.com/ Bio: Colin Bedell is a queer Gemini Twin from Long Island, New York. He's a passionate student of secular personal-growth systems, and the universal spiritual themes explored in A Course in Miracles. Well & Good Magazine listed Colin as one of the most influential people in the wellness industry and as a 2020 Innovator. Complementing his work with QueerCosmos, Colin's the weekly horoscope writer for Cosmopolitan.com. His bestselling first book A Little Bit of Astrology from Sterling Publishers debuted November ‘18, his second book Queer Cosmos: The Astrology of Queer Identities & Relationships which launched last November was ranked the #1 Astrology book for beginners by the DailyDot magazine, and his third book Gemini by Sterling debuted January 2020. HOW TO FIND PLANETS IN YOUR CHART: https://youtu.be/EUgvbq-17sQ SOLSTICE GIFTS:https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11465551&appointmentType=15038734 CHECK OUT THE EAT & GREET COLLABORATIONS: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwL0zDMT3qCA8eEDFVfXZCBDik4OZ0jT7 FULL NATAL CHART-https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=167635 READY FOR A READING: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11465551&appointmentType=category:READINGS+%28LOOKING+AT+ONLY+1+PERSON%27S+CHART%29 BIRTHDAY (SOLAR RETURN) REPORT: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=58786 FULL CHART ANALYSIS BY VIDEO: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=248187 EMAIL READING- https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=144274 MONTH BY MONTH PERSONAL BREAKDOWN VIDEO-https://app.acuityscheduling.com/catalog.php?owner=11465551&action=addCart&id=169746 FACEBOOK-https://www.facebook.com/pages/Stormie-Grace/138693799515065?ref=hl FIND YOUR TRIBE GROUP ON FB: https://www.facebook.com/groups/232632710465654/ https://twitter.com/StormieGrace08 All my love everyone --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/stormie-grace/support

love new york relationships miracles lifetime couples long island astrology houses gemini little bit innovators healthy relationships relational cosmopolitan brene brown always wanted mating esther perel lasting love amir levine complementing adult attachment queer identity julie gottman daily dot good magazine harville colin bedell embrace who you are imperfection let go who you think you nonviolent communication a language love you want a guide eight dates essential conversations captivity unlocking erotic intelligence relationship you
Start The Conversation لنبدأ الحوار
مع ريم فلبي عن رعاية الذات و الطبيعة

Start The Conversation لنبدأ الحوار

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2020 51:18


E12 مع ريم فلبي عن رعاية الذات والطبيعة  موضوع الحلقة  اهمية رعاية الذات حتى نستطيع ان نعطي و نقوم بدورنا تجاه الآخرين  في الحلقة كيف اعرف ايش يملي كوبي؟ رعاية الذات كأسلوب حياة وليس رفاهية، الطبيعة و كيف اصغر الأمور تعمل فرق كبير، كيف ما نحتاج اشياء كتير حتى نكون سعيدين، كيف كل شخص مختلف و حتى احنا نختلف من وقت آخر و اهمية انه نعرف ايش اللي يفيدنا الآن.  مذكور في الحلقة  كتب  Life Is What You Make It: Find Your Own Path to Fulfillment  The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself ضيفة الحلقة  ريم فلبي  امرأة سعودية لديها اولويات تحرص على جعلها نمط حياة، محبة جدا للطبيعة والإكتشاف و تعلم مهارات جديدة. أم لطفلين و حريصة على ان تعطي نفسها وعائلتها الصغيرة تجارب و فرص لإكتشاف العالم  شكرا  للتواصل Contact info  منال الدباغ Manal Aldabbagh  IG @manal.aldabbagh manal@manalaldabbagh.com  www.manalaldabbagh.com   تصميم الشعار Logo Design GraPhi  التدقيق الصوتي Sound Editing  عبدالله غانم  www.arcast.fm  Email: a.ghanem@arcast.fm

gifts fulfillment logo design sound editing embrace who you are imperfection let go untethered soul journey beyond yourself who you think you
The New Leader with Ian Daley
How Do You Know You're Ready for Management with guest Catherine Rice 004

The New Leader with Ian Daley

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2018 29:35


Welcome to The New Leader Podcast. I'm your host, Ian Daley. Today we're going to answer the question: How do you know you're ready for management? This episode is geared towards those who aspire to leadership roles but are not there yet, and are curious to know – how do you know when you're ready for that first management role? Today's guest is Catherine Rice, Vice President of Sales at Roche Pharmaceuticals, who has a great wealth of experience and knowledge in this topic. She is a highly effective and motivational leader who inspires improvement at district, regional, and national levels by driving performance and change management through tenets of simplicity, focus, and competitiveness. In this episode, we look at: Catherine's biggest failure and success as a leader How to know you're ready for management Going from “I” to “We” Being open to criticism, and a lot more. I hope you enjoy this one.   Biggest Failure As a people manager, it's natural to want something for someone, but they don't necessarily want that for themselves. You can see potential in them, and you try to push, and you try to get them there, there's a lot of advice giving, but nothing's happening because they're not there yet. They may not have the self-awareness nor the desire to want what you potentially want for them. If you ask me the reverse question, what some of my greatest successes were was helping people grow and develop and get those promotions. The failures were not recognizing when someone had the roadblock up and didn't want it for themselves, or they just weren't there ready to change, but I was pushing them to do it when they weren't there yet. It was really hard, and I had to learn not to get frustrated. I would resort into becoming too much of an advice giver. “You should do this. How about you try this?” versus “What is it you want, and how can I help you get there?” From “I” to “We” For me, the number one thing is, “Are they ready to make that transition from it's all about me to it actually has absolutely nothing to do with me?” That's a key distinction if you're going to be a strong people manager. It's tough, especially in sales when you have high performers. I've done a lot of reading in this area, and if you look at any group, those who tend to be promoted and put into management positions are the people who are super strong, key contributors, or individual contributors. These are your top sales person, your best physician, your best office worker. If they're really good at their task, they tend to get promoted. However, do they have the skills necessary to be a great people manager, and can they make that transition from “it's all about me and my results” to “it actually is about the team and the team's results”? That's a key distinction, and people have to have an awareness of that. Being Open to Criticism If you find yourself being open to people being critical of you, then you're ready to be a people manager. As a manager, it's not just about you giving feedback – you're going to get it yourself, and sometimes you don't necessarily like what people have to say about you as a person. You're in a spotlight role as a people manager; you can't hide. So you have to be open to that. And some people are, and some people aren't. Links and Resources Connect with Catherine: LinkedIn Visit their website: https://www.roche.com/ The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott Brené Brown The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown

time work management sales vice president rice bren brown resources connect being open way you lead forever embrace who you are imperfection let go who you think you roche pharmaceuticals coaching habit say less life one conversation ask more change
The Art of Charm
723: Why Vulnerability Leads to Connection | Toolbox

The Art of Charm

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2018 65:51


We all rely on 3 levels of connection when it comes to meeting people -- but what are they, do we have to follow them in order, and how do we know what level we're on with someone?WHAT TO LISTEN FORWhat are the 3 levels of connection and why is it important to follow them in order?Is it possible to form a deeper bond with a stranger in 45 minutes than the bond you have with your closest friend?What mistake do many of us make when first getting to know someone and why can it cause a connection to fall apart in seconds?How do we encourage vulnerability from other people so that we can strengthen our relationships?What types of questions should you ask in order to build strong connections?What is the primary driving force behind building connections and being vulnerable?How does comfort with shame and embarrassment build deeper connections?Building great connections with new people can seem like navigating a maze if you don't understand how connections are built in the first place. When you're in a maze you can't see where you started, you can't see where the exit is, and every turn you take looks like the last one.Once you understand the 3 levels of connection, however, you go from being stuck in the maze to looking down on it. Connection is directly related to vulnerability, and when you're comfortable being vulnerable at each level you're able to confidently guide the other person through the maze as you learn more about each other and develop a solid bond.PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCESShare your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here!https://theartofcharm.com/challenge/A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORSProblems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZipRecruiter will send your job to 100+ of the web's leading job boards.Calm includes guided meditations and Sleep Stories to help you reduce anxiety, lower stress and sleep better. AoC listeners can get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at calm.com/charm. Get started today at calm.com/charm.Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home. Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today!MORE ABOUT THIS SHOWThink of the 3 levels of connection like a roadmap. If you were in the passenger seat of a car and you were telling the driver how to get from point A to point B, where would you start?Ideally, you'd find your current location, point A, on the map and start giving directions from there (or pull out your smartphone because this isn't 1999, type the destination in, and hit enter, but stick with me). If you tried to give directions starting from point B, or somewhere in between points A and B, you wouldn't go anywhere, the driver would look at you confused, and she might just get out of the car and let you figure it out on your own.YOU HAD ONE JOB!Anyway, the same goes for the 3 levels of connection.If you're going to start building a connection you must start at the beginning: the first level.Light Disclosure“In order for vulnerability to happen there's gonna have to be some risk involved,” Johnny states, “and that's what's scary about all this. So, the first level that we're discussing is lighthearted, fun, amusing anecdotes about yourself and the world around you.”Think of an embarrassing story from when you were younger.Maybe you were running a mile in PE (physical education) and tripped in front of the whole class and everyone laughed at you. Maybe you tried to cut your hair and you didn't realize how bad it was until you walked into class the next day and everybody laughed at you. Or maybe on your driver's license exam you hit a parked car because you forgot which was the brake pedal… and everybody laughed at you.The point is if you have an embarrassing story from your past that you can laugh at now, you can consider that light disclosure.The person you're telling the story to might not be able to relate to the exact events, but he will be able to relate to the emotional bids, such as being embarrassed, or caught off guard, or feeling humiliated in front of his classmates.You can be vulnerable in telling a story like that, people can connect with you via the emotions conveyed, and there's little risk because of the amount of time that's passed and you've moved on (hopefully).AJ put it simply, “We're pulling a piece of our past that shows a little imperfection.”And before we move onto the second level, keep in mind that these stories are not about the facts (location, color of the chalkboard, number of students that laughed their faces off, etc), but the emotions you felt in the story (embarrassment, frustration, anger, sadness, humiliation, etc).We connect through emotions, not facts.Medium DisclosureJohnny goes on to preface level 2, “Once both people have conveyed those stories, and are feeling matched, you are now at a point where if you want to go further then both parties can feel good about it. And what comes next is level 2, medium disclosure, which is beliefs, opinions, feelings, and ideas about yourself and the world around you.”Johnny also puts that last thought another way, “How you see things coming together, and that has been colored and put together through your sheer experiences in life. Which means that mine are going to be different than yours.”What are some examples of medium disclosure?Well, if light disclosure had to do with something from your past that you can laugh at, medium disclosure is going to be something more related to your present self. Maybe even something in your recent past (the last few years) that still has a hold on you or left a significant impact on how you perceive yourself and the world around you.AJ gives the example of imposter syndrome and feeling like he was a failure. Maybe you went through a bad breakup and it crushed your self-confidence. Maybe you got let go from a job you loved and it made you question your knowledge and abilities and possibly your career choice.The examples above are in a higher risk category than level 1 because someone could use your vulnerability against you, either to manipulate you or just hurt you.In addition, because two people are going to see the world through different lenses, sharing something in the medium disclosure level can invite judgment from the other person as their perception of you and the world is different. Heavy Disclosure“Heavy disclosure is the understandable human weakness, “Johnny continues, “Your fears and insecurities about yourself and the world around you. Now, that is a big one because most people don't want to have to admit they have fears and insecurities because that leaves them feeling vulnerable which leads them to feel unsafe.”AJ later chimes in, “Now, when we hear heavy disclosure, many of us are not anticipating trust, respect, kindness, or affection. We're expecting the worst, like ‘Oh my God now I'm going to be so judged, so vulnerable that this person can't possibly like or love me.' But in these moments when we progress through the light, we are now dropping our guard, moving to medium [disclosure] where we're starting to explain our worldview and share that, and then we move to heavy [disclosure] - now we're actually on the road to real connection!”Heavy disclosure is the final level in this roadmap for connection, but it doesn't mean you have to get there with everyone you meet. Heavy disclosure should be reserved for those who earn it.Why?Well, if you just go around telling everyone your deepest darkest secrets it tells people you will allow anyone in without knowing anything about them (not to mention those secrets are no longer deep, dark, or secret).As Johnny puts it, “By being selective on who gets that information, it allows that other person to feel special for knowing you in such a state.”SHOW NOTESWe kick things off with the 1997 study by Arthur Aron that sparked the 36 Questions That Lead To Lovewww.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.htmlWhy was it so easy for us to make friends as kids?And why does it get harder to make friends as we get older?What is vulnerability and why does the thought of being vulnerable in today's world lead to feelings of fear and anxiety?Johnny touches on why vulnerability allows people to connect with us so quicklyWhat goes on behind the scenes of the “perfect” lives we see on social media?The first level of connectionAJ explains what you should focus on when telling a lighthearted storyThe second level of connectionJohnny and AJ talk about their experience with imposter syndromeWhat mistake do many of us make when first getting to know someone and why can it cause a connection to fall apart in seconds?The third level of connection (aka the big one)Why heavy disclosure is NOT for everyoneHow are vulnerability and the victim mentality related?AJ breaks down how to know when the person you're talking to is ready for heavy disclosureWhy is it important to be comfortable with our own vulnerabilities before trying to get other people to open up about theirs?How do we encourage other people to be vulnerable?Johnny and AJ break down a common trait many people exhibit that prevents those around them from even wanting to be vulnerableWhat red flag should you look for in others when you start opening up?AJ emphasizes what happens when we don't follow the connection roadmapWhat questions should you focus on if you want to build strong connections?Why are emotions such a challenging subject for many of us to talk about?Johnny explains the barriers to vulnerability many men in today's day and age deal withAJ and Johnny discuss how vulnerability and shame are so tightly connectedWhat is the primary driving force under building connections and being vulnerable?What do you have to work on that will allow other people to be more comfortable being themselves around you?Johnny explains the importance of play as described by Brene Brown (https://brenebrown.com/)Why is it so important to talk about shame?Final thoughtsResources from this EpisodeThe Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings by Arthur Aron(http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003)The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown(https://www.amazon.com/Gifts-Imperfection-Think-Supposed-Embrace/dp/159285849X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1538231021&sr=1-1&keywords=the+gifts+of+imperfection)Applied Empathy by Michael Ventura (https://www.amazon.com/Applied-Empathy-New-Language-Leadership/dp/1501182854)Check in with AJ and Johnny!AJ on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/ajharbingerJohnny on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/aocjohnny/Quotes:“We feel strongly connected to those that we feel comfortable enough being vulnerable around.” - AJ“If we want other people to be vulnerable around us, then we're going to have to be vulnerable ourselves.” - Johnny“The less we talk about shame the more we feel it.” - AJ“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” - Carl Jung

america god building gifts leads calm vulnerability register pe alexandria ocasio cortez brene brown toolbox carl jung ziprecruiter storythe calm premium arthur aron embrace who you are imperfection let go michael ventura who you think you applied empathy htmlwhy you had one job
The Ade Show with Ade Anifowose

Sheila K. Collins and Christine Gautreaux join Ade for a conversation on "Self-Care." Caregiving is not a job for one person. Caregiving is the work of the community. As caregivers, it vital to ask for help and take time out for your own health and wellbeing or else, you can be in danger of hurting yourself. #TuneIn #Listen and #BeTransformation Check out Sheila K. Collins' site https://sheilakcollins.com/ and Christine Gautreaux site's https://www.christinegautreaux.com/ Also check out Ade's site: https://www.lifecoachade.com/ Also, connect with Ade on 12Listen.com - https://www.12listen.com/index.cfm?advisor=250#top Brené Brown's quote: “Until we can receive with an open heart, we're never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” ~ Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

self care gifts bren brown caregiving ade embrace who you are imperfection let go who you think you sheila k collins