Podcasts about Yis

Continuing our celebration of these inspirational young scientists, in this episode our host Michael Unger gets into it with our 2024 YIS winners Jora Singh Nahal & Inbal Tzafrir.Join them as they discuss why they felt compelled to develop apps that help to navigate the struggles which disabled individuals face, what skills they have taken away from YIS, and what is that special something that keeps bringing them back to science fairs.Watch Jora's innovation pitch videoWatch Inbal's innovation pitch videoListen to the 2023 Youth Innovation Showcase Winners episode that also featured Jora Singh NahalFor more information go to sciencefairs.ca. If you have any questions or comments you can email Michael Unger at munger@sciencefairs.caFollow us on Instagram, and LinkenIn @sciencefairs, and @michaeljohnunger.

Getting ready to start up the podcast with Season 11. Join us each week on Fridays for a new episode. I am looking forward to covering many of your favorite subjects and issues. Scout leaders can look forward to discussions about communications, dealing with helicopter parents, and issues with the fear of camping. Along with many scout skills and critical positions within the troop. There is something this season for everyone. YIS⚜

#MundoAbisal 164: La-Na Tiviri-Tavara de Yisús-Craigs Mi mejor/peor regalo de la navidad...

"तेरे दर्द ने मुझ को रात भर रुलाया है" yis ghazal ko sunkar aapko apne bewafa yaar ki yaad jarur aayegi. Yis ghazal ko prastut kiya gya hai Faran ji inhone aur likha hai Shayari Sukun ke honhaar shayar Mr Moeen ji inhone. Voice-Over: Faran Shakeel Website post link: https://shayarisukun.com/best-ghazal-shayari-collection-hindi-urdu/

In this episode of HeroTalk, Kat and David sit down to discuss t e c h n o l o g yIs there an overreliance on tech? Is the right amount of reliance put on tech?Is life better when we don't have our phones glued to our hands?Let's find out.Contact the hosts here:Kat: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katherine-conchas-819700205/David: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davidjpowers2/Rooter Hero Plumbing & Air: https://rooterhero.com/

Benny Kavanagh has had a glorious and long career with club and county. He was part of the Éire Og four-in-a-row team of 2017-20 but Rathvilly deprived them in their drive for five. Now, the Wicklow border side has knocked out the YIs in the quarter-finals this year. Two weeks on, Benny admits this still hurts as he looks back on what went wrong.He also shoots the breeze on a range of other issues and confesses some of the rules such as the mark and the black card still perplex him. 

The Torah commands in Parashat Emor (Vayikra 22:15), “Ve'lo Yehalelu Et Kodsheh Beneh Yisrael Et Asher Yarimu L'Hashem” – literally, “They shall not desecrate the sacred food of Beneh Yisrael, that which they will separate for G-d.” This verse is understood as establishing the prohibition against eating “Tebel” – produce from which the required portions had yet to be separated. The phrase “Kodsheh Beneh Yisrael Et Asher Yarimu L'Hashem” refers to the hallowed portions which have yet to be separated (as the word “Yarimu” – “will separate” – is written in the future tense), such that the Torah forbids “desecrating” these portions by eating the produce before the hallowed portions have been removed. Tebel is forbidden for not only the produce's owner, but all people. Several portions must be separated from produce for it to be no longer considered Tebel. Specifically, Teruma and Terumat Ma'aser must be separated and given to a Kohen; Ma'aser Rishon must be separated and given to a Levi; Ma'aser Sheni must be separated and brought to Jerusalem; and in some years, Ma'aser Sheni is replaced by Ma'aser Ani, a tithe for the poor. If the portions for the Kohanim (Teruma and Terumat Ma'aser) have yet to be separated from produce, then one who eats this produce is liable to Mita Bi'ydeh Shamayim (death at the hand of G-d, as opposed to execution by the court). If these portions had been separated, but the other tithes had yet to be separated, then the punishment for partaking of the Tebel is Malkut. The produce is considered Tebel and is forbidden for consumption until all the required tithes have been separated, but the severe punishment of Mita Bi'ydeh Shamayim is applied only if the portions for the Kohanim have yet to be removed. If a portion of Tebel fell into permissible food of the same species – such as if a stalk of Tebel wheat falls into a stack of permissible wheat – then the entire mixture is forbidden for consumption, regardless of the percentage of the mixture. Even if the Tebel constitutes a minuscule percentage of the mixture (“Mashehu”), the entire mixture is forbidden. This is an especially stringent quality of the Tebel prohibition, which resembles in this respect the prohibition against eating Hametz on Pesach, as even a minuscule amount of Hametz forbids a mixture on Pesach. This prohibition applies to all Jews, both male and female, and even to Kohanim and Leviyim. Although a Kohen or Levi who eats Tebel is consuming the portion to which he is entitled, nevertheless, he violates this prohibition, because the portions had not been separated from the produce. This prohibition applies in times and places when separating Terumot and Ma'aserot is required on the level of Torah obligation. The Torah obligation of Terumot and Ma'aserot applies only to “Dagan” (the five principal grains), “Tirosh” (wine) and “Yis'har” (olive oil). If one partakes of Tebel of a different species, from which Terumot and Ma'aserot are required Mi'de'rabbanan (by force of Rabbinic enactment), he is liable to Malkut for violating the Sages' enactment. The oil extracted from olives, and the juice extracted from grapes, have the same status as the fruits in this regard. Therefore, one who drinks olive oil or wine of Tebel has transgressed this prohibition and is liable to punishment.

#022.  Today's guest is James Fletcher.  We talk about how James combined his love of investing and his love of international cultures into what he does full-time, which is manage his $100M emerging market fund he founded.  We discuss what inspired James to start Young Investors Society (YIS), and how their reach now extends into over 1400 schools and 59 countries.  James talks about the emphasis on teaching a long-term approach to investing and how rewarding the process, rather than the outcome, is most effective at teaching these kids. We discuss the importance of YIS providing resources to underprivileged communities.  And how YIS emphasizes and incentivizes building good habits to ensure that kids actually put in practice the concepts they are learning about.  We discuss several of YIS programs including the Dollar-a-day initiative, Money Skills Bootcamps and the Stock Pitch Competition.  James discusses the concept of the Million-dollar-decision and the tremendous power of how encouraging our teens to invest early would result in $1M more in their retirement account.  We discuss how we, as parents, can foster the importance of investing at a young age and how to develop their mindset around investing early.  James talks about the number one lesson that he has learned over the years and the key takeaway for us as parents.  We dive into benefits that teens receive in earning the designation that YIS has developed.  We cover how YIS measures their impact in the community.  And we get into several actionable strategies that we, as parents, should focus on in terms of teaching our kids about money. And how we can foster resilience within our children.Show notes and more at:https://moneydadpodcast.com/session022

Esta es la bendicion sacerdotal que Dios ordenó a Aarón y sus hijos a través de Moisés para el pueblo de Israel, y quería compartirla con Ustedes. La transliteracion es fonética. Bendición sacerdotal de Aaron בְּמִדְבַּר Números 6: 22-​ וַיְדַבֵּ֥ר יהוה אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֥ה לֵּאמֹֽר ׃ דַּבֵּ֤ר אֶֽל־אַהֲרֹן֙ וְאֶל־בָּנָ֣יו לֵאמֹ֔ר כֹּ֥ה תְבָרֲכ֖וּ אֶת־בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל אָמ֖וֹר לָהֶֽם ׃ Vaydabbér YHVH hel Moshé lehmór: ddabbér hel Haharón vehel banayv lehmór kkoh tevarajú het bbeney Yisrahél hamór lahém: Y habló Yahvéh a Moshé para decir: Habla a Aarón y a sus hijos para decir: Asi bendecirán a los hijos de Israel, asi diran a ellos: יְבָרֶכְךָֽ יהוה וְיִשְׁמְרֶֽךָ ׃ יָאֵ֨ר יהוה׀ פָּנָֽיו אֵלֶֽיךָּ וִיחֻנֶּֽךָּ ׃ יִשָׂ֙א יהוה׀ פָּנָיו֙ אֵלֶ֔יךָּ וְיָשֵֽׂם לְךָֽ שָׁלֽוֹם Yebarejjá YHVH veyishmeréja. Yahér YHVH ppanáyv heléyjja viyjunnéja. Yisáh YHVH ppanáyv heléyja veyasém lejá shalóm. Yahvéh te bendecirá y te guardará. Yahvéh resplandecerá su rostro para tí y tendrá de tí misericordia. Yahvéh engrandecerá su rostro para tí y pondrá en tí paz. וְשָׂמ֥וּ אֶת־שְׁמִ֖י עַל־בֵּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל וַאֲנִ֖י אֲבָרֲכֵֽם ׃ Vesamú het shemíy hal bbenéy Yisrahél vahaníy havarajém. Y pondrán a mi nombre sobre los hijos de Israel y Yo los bendeciré a ellos

Quizás habréis visto imágenes super random por Twitter. Pues bien, estas imágenes han sido creadas por un sistema que incluye Inteligencia Artificial.La premisa es bien sencilla: escribimos una frase describiendo un concepto tan inverosímil como se quiera y este sistema es capaz de crear una imagen ultrarrealista que la represente. Primero salió Dalle, luego Dalle2 (con el que "podemos jugar" gracias a nuestro amigo mini-Dalle) y, por último, Google ha presentado IMAGEN. ¿Estamos ante la carrera espacial de la Inteligencia Artificial?Acompañad a Yis y Mike en este capítulo y descubrid cómo funcionan estos sistemas y, sobre todo, qué limitaciones tienen y cuáles son sus impactos éticos. ¡Dale al play y fluxea!

TELL celebrates its 50th year next year. Executive director Giles Duke came on today and enlightened us about the inner workings of the non-profit organization that provides mental health lifeline and clinic services. Giles was born in Santiago, Chile, and his family moved to Japan for his father's diplomatic posting, where Giles attended the NIS and YIS. Giles returned to Japan during the "bubble" era and worked in various industries using his bilingual skills. At 60, Giles joined TELL, and as COVID times hit, their services became vital to resolving the surge in mental health issues.

Yis. This episode is very serious. Josh constantly reminds Alan to quit working so blue, Alan talks about lobsters, Producer Pete sits nice and close to the boys, and the podcast closes with a motivational song. For a real good time, like and subscribe!

Seguimos con la segunda parte de nuestro monográfico sobre la implicación de las matemáticas en la restauración de la obra del artista del Gótico flamenco, Jan van Eyck.En esta ocasión analizaremos cómo las nuevas técnicas al alza como la estadística bayesiana o las redes neuronales convolucionales han ido introduciéndose también en este ámbito.Acompaña a Yis y Bart en esta nueva entrega de The Fluxions y descubre cómo hasta las matemáticas ayudan a conservar la obra de tu artista predilecto. Dale al play y ¡FLUXEA!

Los conservadores y restauradores de arte llevan años investigando técnicas, materiales, propiedades de estos e incluso desarrollando nuevos materiales para el correcto mantenimiento de las grandes obras de la humanidad. Pero, ¿y si las matemáticas empezasen a tomar partido en este ámbito?En este nuevo episodio de The Fluxions nos adentramos en el mundo del arte, en concreto en la restauración del Altar de Gante de Jan van Eyck, y tomando una visión crítica analizaremos los estudios sobre técnicas algorítmico-matemáticas aplicadas en este proceso.Acompaña a Yis y Bart en esta nueva entrega fluxera y descubre cómo hasta las matemáticas ayudan a conservar la obra de tu artista predilecto. Dale al play y ¡FLUXEA!

Continuamos la cuarta temporada abordando los avances de la Inteligencia Artificial en la interpretación de problemas simbólicos matemáticos y, especialmente, en la resolución de ecuaciones e integrales.Desde la introducción de las redes, mucha gente las considera como la panacea. Capaces de resolver retos que pueden replantearse como un problema de reconocimiento de patrones. Sin embargo, éstas siempre se han quedado rezagadas en la resolución de los problemas simbólicos matemáticos. Entre estos se encuentran los más característicos de los cursos de cálculo, como las integrales o las EDOs. ¿Pueden las nuevas investigaciones darnos soluciones que dependen de algoritmos de los años 60?Para averiguarlo acompaña a Yis y Bart en este nuevo episodio de The Fluxions y ¡disfruta con nosotros de la 4 temporada!

Yis, good food we have today. Chris and Felix are joined by the wonderful Mama Migle (TM) as she cooks up a full meal for her hungry children. Some weird and wonderful flavours are thrown around in her Fried Bread, Cheese and Beans Party in Hot Mayo Tub (Kepta Duona Majonezo Puotoje) and her rocky road style dessert (Tinginys). Don't forget to cook along at home x

Series: Be'erot, Love & Relationship with God.   Episode Transcript: We had been travelling down two different paths regarding the realization of Yaakov and Yisrael, and there is very particular and different relationships between them and Leah and Rachel. And we discovered some very crucial realizations about the way in which Yisrael comes into his fullness regarding in the way he comes back for the pachim ketanim, what he knows to leave behind and what he knows he has to have with him—clarity about that. And we had the growing realization that Yisrael is on one level; one way of looking at him is the realized self, someone who has very deep clarity as to who he is and what he's doing, and since it's Yisrael and not just any person, so his realization is not just a matter of him personally, but is crucial for the entire creation, because Yisrael is the one about whom it says, Bishvili nivrah haolam. At the beginning of Bereshit, Rashi even brings this: Bereshit, bishvil hareshit, for the first one, who is the first one? So the first one is Yisrael reshit tvuato, Yisrael is the first of his production and that is a remez to what G-d says about us, over and over again, before He takes us out of Mitzraim and then leaving Mitzraim to the point where it becomes clear that bni bechroi Yisrael. Yisrael is my first-born son. What does this mean? Yisrael is the first reflection of what I have in mind for creation. And this is also hinted at  by Reshi is a reference to chochmah. Rechit chochmah yirat hashem; the kabbalah interprets that verse as Wisdom is the beginning. Reshit chochmah, because the first movement which is expressed, as opposed to will, which is an impression. But it's the first thought, of Yisrael. And that is the most primal and primary revelation of G-d's will which also then, all the way down to the bottom, of where it becomes manifest in the world is Yisrael, which is knesset Yisrael which is the malchut, and that's why it says in the kabbalah abayasad bartah. That father has established daughter. That seminal thought of what this world will be becomes reflected all the way down in the daughter who is knesset Yisrael who brings that to realization in full living. And the realization of that becomes expressed for us in the personality or in the story of Yisrael in the world, this man called Yisrael, who is a transpersonal phenomenon, really, it's not him in his persoanl life that's of interest to us of people of Torah, but whether him and his particular life of what is a window to a transpersonal personality, something which is beyond his personal expression and then becomes relevant to all of us for all of eternity. This Yisrael is the conscious reflection of the divine thought as to what this world would be. So his name is Yisrael, in other words is li rosh, I have the head, the head belongs to me, and as we saw deeply, it's the counterpart or the inner life of Yaakov who is akeivi. I have a heel, basically, mamash the other end of reality. He's the outer body, the externality of living. He is the struggle, he is the needing to overcome, he is all of those aspects of life that are the process towards, that are not the realization of. But Yisrael is the realization of. And this was very important for us to recognize not only in terms of what we can become as Yisrael, becoming the head of creation, being it's guiding life, and this could be so powerful to Hakadosh Baruch Hu, that He even gave the name to Yisrael, "kel," and said If I am a G-d in the elyonim, then you are the god in the tachtonim, which means that you are the head of creation, its evolution, its evolving realization and coming to purpose is reliant on you. You are the G-d, you are the ones who are leading the way, you are the ones who have the greater and deeper awareness of My purpose and become alive with that. Become the ones who now, becomes the head of creation and move it towards where it is headed. This is what we are here for and it's so crucial for us to maintain consciousness of that.                 So we've been looking at that in terms of personal life. We've been looking at how a person becomes more aware of his purpose and destiny in life and more clear about what his particular voice and expression are. This will become a very deep and intimate relationship with G-d, rather than falling into a project of making himself "of himself," which is where Pharoah ends up, which B"H we might see in the future as the one who say li v'ori v'ani asitani. You see, bni bechri yisrael is what needs to be established in opposition to Pharoah in being king of the world. That's what happens when G-d says, I'm taking them out. Why are You taking them out? I'm going to show them that in the end, b'ni bechori yisrael, and that's why I'm going to kill your first born sons. Because your first born children are born out of a consciousness of "We make ourselves." But my firstborn born? He remains in the awareness and consciousness that he is my first born so, meaning that he is the expression and manifestation and intended to be in alignment with Me and My purpose. Now that can only be in personal life inasmuch as a person is aware of their own personal purpose.  This is where people get confused sometimes and say, That doesn't sound very spiritual, it sounds self-involved. Spiritual has to do with devolving myself of my personal path. It has to do with becoming generic and being mvatel myself. Isn't that what spiritual is about? Spiritual is also about that, but only if one knows the path of the shov, of coming back into this wrold and beocming re-embodied by having perfect clarity about what it is that my particular portion in that grand scheme, vision and consciousness is. If you lose that, so then you have basically have given up the world, which is not the path of Yisrael, the path of Yisrael is to be eloka btachtonim, to be godly in the lower world, or in a less radical language, to make a dirah batachtonim to make a dwelling place for G-d in the lower worlds, by virtue of that particular manifsestion, which is your life, And that's why it's so personal—li rosh Yisrael, in terms of its realization here. IT's both I have a head, which is a personal reference, that I have a vision, a wisdom. It's a more transcended reference, that I have a head means, I have a G-d. Yisrael, struggle with elokim, who is the name of tG-d about the givens, gematira ha tevah, he is the G-d of the givens. Sarita elokim v'anashim batuchal. That you will be able to overcome them and become the yisrael who is lvado. So all this is different aspects of what I've seen; I've expanded it and deepening it now in terms of its divine aspect.                 It has this quite extraordinary parallel in my mind in terms of what goes through Leah. She goes through her own persoanl process from being the snua anochi down to the experience of hodaya, of the gilui of hod, of her glory that G-d has given her, which is also the realization of her personal chelek, of natati yoter michelki. She knows, as we saw in the mashal of the cohen to know that's G-d having given His self to her, in having given that to her. And then, a interesting thing happens. I'm continued now in the same vision, now in Yisrael's counterpart, Leah.                 She has two more children after Yehudah. After the Chumash says v'taamod laledet, that she's done giving birth. That she has arrived at natalti yoter m'chelki, and that she has been given and her personal realization is the greatest access to G-d (12:02) through the medium of hodaya. And then, she has Yisachar. She declares about him, She's socher, she hilre Yaakov for the night, by giving over the dudaim to Rachel, and when she gives birth to Yisachar, she says, now I'm giving sachar for having turned over my shifcha to Yaakov. If you remember, that was in parshat vayetze, chpater twetny-nine.                 Then we asked, What are you talking about? Yisachar was sachar or hiring out Yaakov to sleep with him. Who are you trying to kid? Why are you referring it back to the sachar of giving over the shifcha? Chapter thirty, verse eighteen, where Leah says, Natan elohim shcari, asher natati shifchati l'ishi. G-d has given me my reward for having given my shifcha over to my husband. Vatikrah shmo Yisahar. Then she calls him yisachar. That's not really honest. Sachor schartichi is what she said to Yaakov when she met him, I have hired you out so yisachar, I'm getting repaid for what I invested. I'm getting back on my investment, that's what's being said there. But the truth is not that way. The truth is that which she is revealing is the deep decret of sachar. That sachar has arrived in her chelek because she has given her limited self up. She gave her husband over to her shifcha so that his realization whould occur. And that is the aspect of the selflessness in the self-realization. This is a paradox. She has surrendered herself, giving up her husband to her shifcha. She has resigned, so to speak, to a higher purpose. She then, what about her. So then something has now happended between her and Yaakov, or the emerging Yisrael. Which is that it's not about her; something has happened that is about them. And that might even mean sometimes that in her limited pleasure and achievement that she gives that up and passes that up and surrenders that. That's how she gets the sachar of yisachar. And that's the only way that divine sachar happens. In the giving up and the surrendering of the particular forms. So it's this paradoxical condition of surrendering the form but insisting upon or realizing the specific and beautiful and individual purpose that is mine. But here something has happened in which she has joined together with him. That His purpose should be realized.                 So we saw this last time, and it was the beginning of the emergence of David in the dudaim. It has to do with the next child she has. In terms of the process we have been watching with Leah, it almost looks like Zevulun is a regression. How? Because next, she has the sixth child. Vatahar Leah, v'teled ben shishi l'Yaakov. Who is the sixth child? Vatomer Leah, zvadani elohim oti zeve tov, G-d's giving me a good portion. Hapaam yizbeleini ishi. So now my husband is yizbeleini, Rashi says, now my husband is a home, a beit zvul, a castle, palace. Now my husband and me are a palace. Rashi says, yizbeleini is lashon beit zvul, mador. A place to live. That's the dirah of tachtonim. What does that mean? Initially when we look at this, we're wondering Does he love, me, does he love me not? At the beginning of her calling her children their names, it was all about is he with me, is he not with me? Then she left that and Yehudah and Yisachar are beyond that, and then she's wondering about him again? No. But it's not she's only in her self, nor is she concerned being with him, it's this whole new thing now. There's a dirah, a place of dwelling that has now emerged by virtue of Zevulun's coming into the world. That's something else. When a couple, in their togetherness are something which is beyond the two of them, that's beit mador. Beit zvul. When the couple is indefinable. When you talk about the home of this couple, so there's a way to look at it, and it's occupied by him and by her, there's the mother and the father, but then there's the home. There's not a new element, nothing's been added, it's still the same two people, but it's an entity that's something else, it's the picture of the whole.  This is what happens at the end of this process that we've been following, that's the beit mador. Now there's going to be a home. That's Zevulun, the end of her giving birth.                  If you look in the Chumash, the way the machaneh is built (the encampment around the mishkan) so on the front end are Yehudah, Yisachar, and Zevulun. And the reason is because Yisachar and Zevulun are expressions or elements of what Yehudah is because the real malchut has both elements: I have given myself and only in that is there sachar; and it is not just a conglomerate of individual elements, but rather, this is a dwelling place. This is the kingdom of a couple, of a people, of humanity, reality, the entire cosmos, which is the kingdom of G-d. And it's a kingdom because all of the individual elements are within a greater whole, which is defined by being this kingdom. That's what a malchut is. It's the speaking of the twenty-six, meaning, shem havayah, kaf vav, and mem lamed taf, milat, the speaking. G-d's presence has become a word, which means to say that it has become an expression and a manifestion, just  like a word is. You can't pick a word apart into its letters and expect to have anything left of the word. But a word is nothing more than the conglomeration of its individual letters, isn't it? I mean, it's just a bunch of letters, right? If you really want to know what's in the word, then start picking it apart, the way a scientist will start analyzing and dissecting different pieces and parts of, let's say a butterfly. There's the entrails, and there's these little fuzzy things, that's all the butterfly is, isn't it? And if you dissected it all and put it on a slide, you have it now, you can enlarge it, and you can see all of the elements, and now we're really finding out what a butterfly is. And if we can enlarge it more in a deeper picture, then we'll really, really know what a butterfly is. It's exacly in a sense, the opposite direction of finding out what a butterfly is. Because a butterfly can only be known, not only by seeing its whole, but by seeing it in context of the flowers, and seeing it flying from place to place, and a beautiful springtime afternoon, and of lovers in the field, and of children frolicking. What is a butterfly? Is a butterfly not all of that, too? You'd never draw a butterfuly--if you're really drawing one— without the sun shining, and flowers blossoming in the background, and maybe some children and a couple of bees buzzing around. That's a butterfly. No! A butterfly, if you just dissect it, you'll find out what a butterfly is. So who's right? So, clearly, you can find out what a butterfly is by dissecting it, but you're finding out the elements of what makes a butterfly, but a butterfly is what I just described. The truth is, then a butterfly is really only—what is it? What did I add when I put together all the pieces of a butterfly, and make it into a butterfly? What did I add? Nothing. It's just the same pieces that were there when it was dissected on the slide. And I didn't really add anything when I put it into the background; all these things were there before. But the wholeness of that vision becomes the picture that really is what a butterfly is.  I have to be careful about how I use the word "really." But I've added nothing else. That adding nothing else is the beit mador. Now it's the home. What was just added was just a bunch of kids before, and the mom and dad and did something get added here? Yeah, it became a word. G-d became a word, so to speak, yud key vav key became a word, it became a number.  This is why gematria is so important. When it becomes a number, then you can't divide it up any more. It's just this one entity.  That's malchut, the realization of dirah batachtonim. But people make mistakes sometimes. People think that dirah batachtonim means that I'm the empty vessel and He's in it. No. Dirah batachtonim means I'm making a dirah and He's in it.  What does it mean to make a dwelling place? That there is something in the connection between me and Him, in the realization of all of this together, which is its own reality. And only by virtue of its unification. That is where now things have arrived for Leah in her relation with Yisrael, and that is why she is done giving birth when that happens, because that process is over. She has become the lamed vav, the lo, the e'eseh lo, complete belonging together in something  which is this transcendence of the particular elements that compose the composite reality that is the beit mador.                 This is very crucial to realize—the trivialization of what malchut is in terms of our relationship with G-d because it's not something different. It's the same kind of a thing in which it's not Him or us, and we're not standing separate, but we form the malchut, which is HaKadosh Baruch Hu's reflection and manifestation into reality.                 This is David. David, who is born out of the dudaim. David, who is born out of Yehudah. It shouldn't confuse you—Yisachar, David? He comes from Yehudah, Because Yehudah comes together with Yisachar and Zevulun. It's part of his camp. You can't have Yehudah without Yisachar and Zevulun, in terms of there being a giving up of self in order that there be sachar. And also a realization in the overarching picture of what it is, which is no added element but is the overall picture of what is. And that is David, and that's why, in the end, David, is also the dod, the dodim, the lover, which is where very true love is realized, when it's not something that I experience as me or you, it's where we're together in a picture. Using the word picture, because that's exactly how malchut is describe in Kabbalah. Malchut is described as a temunah, which directly derives from chochmah, wisdom, which is kneged vision, the first vision. The first vision then becomes realized then when all of those elements become incorporated into one picture. That's what I was referring to when I said Aba yasad barta, that father established daughter. First vision brings daughter—daughter being malchut—who is the feminine aspect, because in a sense she is an encasement, the holding of, an incorporating of all the elements into one entity.  So, I wouldn't exactly call it fleshing out, but rather abstracting some of the elements of what we've been looking at. In Chassidut, this is called a birur. Last time we were in the body with things and storyline, but I'm trying to give you access to the spiritual, transpersonal aspect of it. It's an irony, and I hope some of you hold the space, but the more it becomes abstracted and spiritualized, actually, then the more it becomes applicable to myriad applications. The more it's just particular, then it's just one particular story. But the more you abstract it, then the more you see that it's shayach, here, it's shayach here, it's shayach between me and my kids, it's shayach between me and  my husband, it's shayach between me and the rest of you in this classroom, it's shayach between me and the rest of humanity. This isn't just one story, this is a reality applicable to everything.  People say, Wow, that's really high! When you say, That's really high, you mean it's something which is beyond the specific. It's like when you're standing up on a mountain and you see the whole picture. And now you can say, I am going to see that reflected in and—now I am going to emphasize this part of it. (31:30) You have a high perpective. We use sort of a geographic location to talk about something which is intellectual, it's an abstraction. But that's the point, that's how we experience high things, low things. Look, low things are right here (demonstrating). So high things would be applicable to myriad applications. That's why it's so important for us to gain access to this in the Torah,  otherwise the Torah just becomes a storybook, and then you get all sorts of crazy contortions of how to read it and what to do with it—it becomes historicized and irrelevant, etc. (sic) I say this specifically in the context of Yisachar, because the Rabbis say he becomes the father of yodei haitim: Bnei Yisachar yodei haitim, the children of Yisachar are the ones who know the times. Those are the rabbis. True Rabbis know the times. What does it mean to be a real talmid chacham who knows the times? He knows how to apply things to varying times. He is aware and conscious of shifting times. Changing times. People who stay stuck in times as it was, so they can't really have anything relevant to say, so then everyone, they'll try to push you or force you into some previous mode when G-d's moved time on already.  If you belong to the world of Yisachar who has been born of Leah's having given herself up, it's not about me, let me touch what is right now, then I can become yodei haitim. That's a verse in Divrei Hayamim. Bnei Yisachar yodei haitim, which the Chachamim say, yeah, that's the Talmidei Chachamim. Now I can touch what really is, I can touch the eyt, I can touch the time. It's not about my thing. But weren't you just talking about your personal vision, your own voice? Yes, of course I am. But how is it that your own voice comes to expression if what you're doing is you're giving yourself up to the higher reality? Gee, I don't know. I can't answer that question in a dichotomous thinking, it's a paradox.  It's like people say, it depends on the place you're coming from. For me to give up my own voice in this reality means to give up the voice that is meant to be in this reality. So it would mean giving up the reality that I'm committing myself to. In other words, if I'm committing myself to G-d's purpose and the realization in this world, so I'm giving myself up to that. That's marvelous, but you're missing in the picture. I thought you were committed to G-d's realization and manifestation in the world. That's right, so I'm giving myself up, so I'm selfless now. Selfless? Well, that's too bad because your self was supposed to be part of that reality. Ok, so I'm going to be involved in my own self. So then I'm forgetting about the whole of reality and all of G-d's creation. So? Well, but I wanted to be committed to that. Okay. So then be committed to that. Okay, so I'm giving myself up. So, what do you want me to do? Which way to go? It's a paradoxical condition which I think people experience. Like there's a flow of personal realization, a flow of personal joyous creativity of "this is what I'm bringing to the world." When it's pure, that's the way it always comes down. Then you start taking it for yourslef and you think, it's about me, and my own etc. It's garbage, it's junk already, it's lost,  and then you become an idealog(?), and you have this idea that you're trying to promote, then you lose yodei haitim, you can no longer be related to what's here and now in the changing times because you've become convinced that only what I bring is what needs to be brought. So then you've lost it, and you go back. So it's an ongoing oscillation between these visions and realizations, but oscillation is what produces right consciousness.  That's the oscillation of going up and down the ladder. That's the oscillation that produces Leah's coming into her personal realizatoin and it being expressed through hod and hodaya which then comes down into its two elements of Yisachar and Zevulun. There's a sachar to this. There's a personal reward involved in this which comes by virtue of my having resigned myself and surrendered myself and there's a consciousness of "this is a picture that I'm a part of," which is called Zevulun. There's a big mador. So now we've built this house together. So that's the dirah batachtonim where G-d says atah, elokah batachtonim, that's the dirah batachtonim. It's only when it has that real combination of my manifestation in the picture which is the one which is beyond the specifics of who are the members in the picture.                 If I'm saying things that on an intellectual level don't make sense, that's fine. It's a state of being, and it's a difficult thing to divvy out. And the only way it becomes divvied out is through the two additional children. They can like show you this. So, this becomes the world of David, because the king really has to have that. And David's most powerful and beautiful thing which the Rabbis teach us about David Hamelech—it's important to note that there are some important Chamamim that say things more overtly. This is a picture of Hillel Hazakeyn, one of the teachers of Torah she b'al peh—he has to do with hod because l'hodot ul'halel, remember we're talking on Chanukah, hilul, Hillel, is the one who's dancing in simchah at the Simchat Beit Hashoevah, the Water-Drawing Festival. He says, Im ani kan, hakol kan. If I am here, everything is here. That's Hillel. If you remember, Hillel is the one who said, When you're dancing in front of the kallah,  say kallah na v'chasudah, because of course she finds chen in her husband's eyes, and who needs to be pulled together. (I really see why this needs to be a book! [sic.]) But the point is, saying Im ani kan, hakol kan, is a reflection of that and in the Kabbalah, it says that he was experiencing malchut, he was experiencing the Shechinah. Chazal say that the Shechinah was present at the Simchat Beit Hashoevah. The Shechinah is most present when there is joy. Because joy is the experience of the flow of His presence. That's when the Shechinah is there. And that's why Hillel the Zakeyn says, Im ani kan hakol kan. If there is a real realization of ani, then hakol which is a reference to malchut, hakol is here. Everything is here. I am not standing apart from there. I am not standing apart from reality observing it. It's all right here. But all will only be here if I am truly me. Now try go living that.                 There is beautiful passage in Orot Hakodesh by Rav Kook in which he brings from Yechezkel HaNavi standing somewhere in Babylon by a river called Nahar Kvar. He says V'ani b'toch hagola. I am in the exile. He says the following: It's a beautiful passage and it deserves its own teaching. He says, Ani b'toch hagola that the Navi is saying, is reflecting the greatest abomination, when the I goes into exile. This is both personal and kabbalistic, because ani is the name for malchut. So when the I goes into galut, and describes how this has happened over the course of time and how things descended into the condition that the I has gone into Galut. And it all begins with Yechezkiel standing on Nahar Kvar. It's the simplest thing. Nahar Kvar is the absolute opposite of being yodeya haitim. Because Nahar Kvar literally means the River of Wasness. That's the River of Babylon. The deep thing about the River of Wasness is exactly that non-dynamic aspect of selfhood which happens when you separate yourself out from the all. I'll tell you exactly what I mean by that. What happens when a person gets stuck in the past, and is all about shorring up and establishing and consolidating everything of the past, now it's going to be solid. This is me. I've got it. Finally I've got it. This is me. If your experience of this is what you have been in the past, everything you've come to, then you have it like, I'm stopping here. Now everything else is going to be around what I am. So the ani goes into galut. The ani goes into exile. Why? Because the ani is always  a dynamic. Why is it a dynamic? Of course it's a dynamic. Even once you've become aware of all the things you've done up until now, and even though you've done work in establishing and realizing what your purpose is. That's all great and crucial work, now it's become clear. But as soon as you're done you say, Now I've got it, Now I know exactly who I am now, your ani is in dynamic, because your ani is always a dynamic of everything that's happening right now.  It's got to be . This is why the Chachamim say that Yaakov couldn't come back to Eretz Yisrael because he was just a fire. And he needed Yosef who was the flame. But I want to put aside now the question of Yosef as the flame—that's its own thing.  But Yaakov is a fire. Yaakov, by the way, is malchut ila'ah. In the kabbalah, malchut is tiferet, Yaakov, the lower malchut is David. And in the middle you have this flame who is Yosef, the yesod. He's a fire. What does it mean to be a fire, which by the way becomes most manifest in hod, which is the fire midah. You can't be yesterday's fire— "I am going to be yesterday's fire." Fire is always something which is burning right now. As soon as it becomes yesterday's fire, it's not fire anymore.  Let's get a snap on that fire, and freeze! Freeze? Well, that's the opposite of fire, isn't it? People do this, and I totally understand why. This is it, I got myself, I know exactly who I am, could you leave me alone with self reflection and contemptaion, in thinking, and self-awareness? Thinking, Okay, are you done? Now you're finished, now you are who you are, now be that. That's a falsehood. That's when you try to separate it out from what's real and right now. That's Nahar Kvar. That's, in a sense, the life project of Pharoah, who is the king of Mizraim, the king of the very first place of galut, who, like, li ori v'ani asitani. I have made myself, which is also a statement that Yechezkiel Hanavi says about Pharoah. Pharoah declares, The river is mine, li ori, vani asitani, and I have made myself. Interesting. He is a man who basically is the source for Nahar Kvar. The river is mine, I own it, I posees it. I possess Moshe. (inaud. 47:45) Vani asitani, I have made myself, I am done. The project has been finished, it's complete. Fantasti, you're amazing, and he'll be the greatest dictator ever that could be imagined. And that's all you could be, is a dictator who rules over it all and is always trying to keep it under control that it should never counterveil or contradict what I have realized to be myself. That's the biggest lie. That's why at the end of kriyat shema we say the most amazing thing. It makes you shudder to finish kriyat shema. Because at the end of kriyat shema we say Ani hashem elokeichem asher hotzeiti etchem m'eretz mitzrayim lihiyot lahem elohim I am G-d who's taking you out of Mitzrayim that I should be your G-d. Ani hashem elokeichem. And this is how Rav Kook ends that passage. What exacly are we saying when we say Ani hasehm elokeichem? I am the L-rd your G-d. Who is speaking there saying, I am the L-rd your G-d? (49:15) But inasmuch as G-d dynamically always reflects His reality in creation the greatest port through which He manifests that is going to be the Ani of the dynamic person who is now in movement, in an ongoing movement of a changing reality. Only that will be G-d right now. What else could be G-d right now? What was G-d yesterday? And the yodei haitim, the ones who know the times, the bnei Yisachar, who know the reward, what the yesh sachar, and the pleasures of what is real, present and current—they are the only ones who can produce Torah which is appropriate to being psak halachah and speak to people in a way that's real for them. That's what Hillel is saying, ani kan—that's why Hillel, by the way, is a lashon of fire—(inaud-v'hillo ner? (50:28) we saw hilul is a language of fire, od glow. So there he is glowing in the Beit Hamidrash, dancing, on fire, the Rabbis say they would toss around firey torches at the Simchat Beit Hashoevah. Im ani kan, hakol kan. If I am here, then Shechina is here. Why is Shechina hakol? Because it's everything which is right now. And only that is what would be real to say about me, that I am me, I am ani.                  So this becomes the ani, becomes the world of malchut but only when it's a cleanly and clearly realization of a expression and manifestation of a porthole of G-d is what ani kan hakol kan. And I want to tell you a beautiful thing. Standing on Nahar Kvar, standing at this River of Babylon of what was. So there are different experiences that people have when they're standing on a riverside. Most people relate to rivers as time; it's a flow. Some people relate to rivers all the time that's gone by. Some people relate to the time that 's going to be. It might have to do with your age. But for whom the river is what was, those are the ones who stand in Galut. At Yom Kipper, there's one other place that this word eyt, which becomes very prevelant in Kohelet, for reasons we won't get into now, but this word et yodei haitim becomes prominent in Yom Kippur, because the man who, the lo b'chol eyt, yavo al ha kodesh, if you look at the word at the beginning of parshat acharei mot which describes the avodah of Yom Kippur, so you'll see that there's a lot of talk about et there. Ayin taf, times, and there are twenty-eight times, there's an eyt for this, an eyt for that. So, on Yom Kippur there's a person who takes the se hazazel out to the midbar, the desert, he takes the scapegoat out to the desert and he's called the ish iti. And there are different explanations of what that means to be an ish iti. What's an ish iti and why is he the relevant person to be doing this? Literally it means He is a man of the time. That's exactly it because true atonement and release from the past which binds us can only happen when a person is able to be now in this moment. That's why he's the ish iti. It's the simple pshat. He's the time man or the timely man, relating completely to the time. It's a crazy thing, but that's why we say Kol Nidre at the beginning of Yom Kippur. The reason in your machzor that it says we say Kol Nidre is that once upon a time there were these marranos. And these marranos had to hide out, when they came to shul, and they would have to be absolved from oaths that they would take from accepting Catholicism. And then we have to ask for permission to be mitpalel with the avar yanim, to pray with the sinners, the transgressers, a great historical stuff, put it on a shelf in a library. But that's not why we're really saying Kol Nidre. It's like how the history brought it about why we should say Kol Nidre at the beginning of Yom Kippur. But the truth is that you need to be matir your neder at the beginning of Yom Kippur, because I am now enetering into complete presence. I cannot be bound by the oaths I've taken. It's as simple as that. And we ask G-d for a heter that we should pray with the avar yanim. It's so funny because avar yan in Hebrew means a transgressor, and a past-er. An avar yan is someone who is in the past. Those are the sinners. Because they cannot comes loose from what has to be now and always being dragged by and controlled by and determined by what has been.                 So this brings us down into a world of real malchut and a place of real loving.  Why? Because love always has to do with relating in truth with what is. You could never love what is not. You could only love what is. And always has to be present. And that becomes dod, the David, who has all this. This is why—and maybe we'll end with this—ironically, David wasn't meant to live. Because malchut cannot be its own thing, it can only be in the context of all. The midrash says, David was not supposed to live.  Adam Harishom was being shown all the different generations, the midrash says. So he's going through them. He's impressed by this, and this, and he comes to David. He says, Wow, who is this man? That's David, the lover. How long is he going to live? So G-d says, he's not going to live at all. What do you mena he's not going to live? Well, he's going to be stillborn. That's what the midrash says, So Adam says, not going to live at all? That can't be! Don't let that be! So G-d says, What do you want to do about it? Adam Harishon says, I'll give him some of my life. How much do you want to give him? I'll give him seventy years. Seven is kneged the malchut. That's why Adam Harishon only lives nine hundred and thirty years, when he was supposed to have lived a thousand. Elef shanim b'einecha ki yom etmol, A thousand years in Your eyes are like yesterday. Tehillim syas, Who is that referring to? To Adam Harishon, who is supposed to live a thousand years. But that is if you're supposed to live yesterday, ki yom etmol. But if you live in the present, David emerges with his seventy years. And he is able to be that because only he is nothing of his own, and he is everything together. But by being the specific person that he is. And don't try to understand that. Because you can't. Just like it was impossible for David to come into the world.—it was a physical impossibilty for the world to contain David Hamelech, for him to be born. He was stillborn. Because he is nothing of his own. He is everything all at once. That's David, that's real love . That's yodeya itim, That's to be one who's really so present and so real to what is that he can say, Ani hashem elokeichem emet, this is true only this is true.  I don't know what to do with this, all you can do is sing,  which is why he becomes the Anim zmirot yisrael, he just sings, and longs for, but sings—it's a vibration because a song is a vibration. He's just vibrating back and forth with this reality and then he becomes the singer. And then all of reality becomes like a resonance of his presence. This is so deep, that ultimately only that can become the tikkun for the moon that complained, we can both use the same crown?  Yes, of course we can both use the same crown if our realization is this being a big dirah. This being a big home, Who's giving and who's taking, you're not looking at who's giving and who's taking, when it's a home—that's stupid! You're in a reality that's far beyond that right now. That's why at kiddush hachodesh we're saying David melech yisrael chai v'kayam, and we're celebrating the re-emergence of the moon, and that possibility for that realization of that kind of a wholeness which is what the moon lost at her first complaint.  Because only through David Hamalech's consciousness, who holds it all—im ani kan, hakol kan—will you ever overcome this contestual foolishness at like, you can't have two lights, holding one keter. Yes, you can, if it's really one keter. It's the keter of the malchut, It's the higher supernal consciousness that has both specific and all and only Him at once.  It's a peleh and the (inaud. 1:01:28) says, there's nothing except to meditate that kind of consciousness. Nothing except to vibrate that. It's not an enunciated, delineable expression. It's only a song. It becomes the shir pashut which the kabbalah says, there'a shir pashut and a shir m'chupal and a shir meshulash, there's a single song and a double song and a triple song, this is the single song. Yisrael is yashar or yasor, he will sing kel. He will be singing G-d. That's David, just singing G-d. But he's singing and dancing, and he loses it when he's dancing for the mishkan he's losing it, and he says to Michal, who is kelim, and who's trying to contain it all, I'll make myself even more disgraceful and dance even more, it's got to be alive and real, actual and present, if it's going to be anything that is expressed the truth of his love, That is the dod which is david, and it eventually becomes in Shir Hashirim, ani l'dodi and dodi li. And I am for David, and David is for me, I am for my lover and my lover is for me. In which all of that delineation and distinction disappears into the rapture of the presence of G-d. And the realization that it is only through the particular voice which is the one who he is gifted with, that His presence will be song. Eventually Rachel touches that. That's why it says, Mi ikolech mi bechi. V'einayich min dima. You stop your voice from crying and your eyes from tearing ki yesh sahcar l'peulatech. Becaues there is yesh sachar, that's yisachar. L'peulatech. That's its own story, the story of Rachel. But David is the continuation of Yehudah, the dalet of Yehudah into its realization of the perfect lover. And gives us all access to love through his accomplishment, his realization. So today if I might summarize. Let me give you a brief summary.                 We followed through bringing some kind of completion to what we have been seeing of Yisrael and Leah, and we saw Yisrael, li rosh, in the consciousness of creation which comes to specific expression through a particular person, and of course Yisrael is the greatest expression of that, being bni bechori, being the child of G-d, his first born son, what he really wants for his planet, for his family, so to speak, and Leah for her completing of the process, making a beit mador, making a dwelling place, which is a reality which is beyond the particular specifics, it's the whole entity. And so when a marriage becomes a whole entity rather than two players. When the world becomes an entity rather than all these players, when man and G-d together become, so to speak, in the aspect of G-d which is reflected and expressed, not his deepest being, but the aspect of Himself that becomes expressed, when they become two players, then they become one together, so then that becomes the true dirah b'tachtonim, the real true dwelling place, and that becomes revealed eventually through David Hamelech and the malchut.                  This is what we're referring to when we say Shem yisrael hashem elokeinu hashem echad. When Yaakov came to give the brachot to his children, it says he wanted to reveal to them the end time, the ketz. And then it got blocked. So he started wondering, Maybe something is wrong with you people, that I can't reveal the ketz to you. You know what they say to him? Shema yisrael, Stop talking to us like Yaakov who only sees the struggle, the disparate parts. Shema yisrael, hashem elokeinu hashem echad. We know that there is one head to all this creation. We know that it's all one personality coming to realization and we know we're parts of that. Give us a bracha that we should be worthy parts of that. And let that be your revelation of the ketz, the end of time, when you give each of us a bracha that's appropriate to who we are, and pray that it should come its full manifestation and realization. Let that be your bracha. And that will be the ketz. Shema yisrael, Listen yisrael, not Yaakov, Hashem elokeinu, It's all one, it's only Him. And he says to that, baruch shem kevod malchuto leolam vaed. His name is blessed. And you know to whom His name is blessed is referring to? Each and every one fo you. That's his name. That's Baruch. That's the blessings he gives. Baruch shem keod malchuto leolam vaed. That's the blessings he gives, His malchut. Should be blessed forever through you in the unfolding expression and realization of His oneness. Can you live that? If you can live that then the ketz is right here. So then every time you say, Shema Yisrael, then you're saying, Yup, we're still the children of Yaakov struggling the path towards Yisrael, towards the realization of the shir el, the song of G-d, still singing it, we're still L-rding over elokim so to speak, the givens in referring to the consciousness of the purpose and vision of all of creation. The kets is here. You can hear it singing. Are there any questions? I've been walking with this visual--when you talked about Yaakov, everything he touched. The wake we leave behind us as we walk and it's a really powerful image because it brings so much consciousness to everything, the movement, I can't seet he energy necessarily, but let's say I'm walking in water. And the same is tue in walking in the air. So envisioning, what is the wake, how am I changing everything around me. So the song also brings a whole other elemen tto that, another level to that image. Very much. Yeah, it's like sympathetic vibration. I believe a lot that prayer is like that and that's why David is the great pray-er also. And he says, V'ani tefilah. He says about himself, my selfhood is prayer. And a lot of how prayer works—and this is also from Rav Kook—is through a sort of sympathetic vibration. You've shifted consciousness. And since your consciousness is part of all consciousness, so then when your consciousness shifts, so then everyone's consciousness shifts. Even if it's just a little bit, depending on how focused and precise you are, so it will become more or less impactful. Even on that level, prayer is never lost. Because you've shifted the consciousness of the planet which you are a part of. People look at iyun tefilah, Chazal say this, iyun tefilah tochelet v'moshechet machalat lev. An ongoing longing becomes a sickness of the heart. Chazal say, those are the people who it's a pasuk in mishleh, they are always seeking to see if their prayers have been realized. So they're heartsick.  The meaning of that is that's because they are looking in the wrong places. In other words, it's happening. It may not be happening as quickly, as overtly, or external as you want it to be happening. But it's happening. That's the type of iyun tefilah that Chachamim say is not an acceptable iyun tefilah, to be looking to see if it's happened. You got prayer wrong. You get the wrong idea about prayer. It has to do with it happening in the world, of course, but it also has to do with everything having to do with sympathetic vibration. Because my ani is now vibrating at a different tenor so then v'ani tefilah—so another pasuk that David says, v'ani tefilati lecha, et ratzon. That my ani is a tefliah to you in an et ratzon, in a moment of will, like a moment that we were talking about before. Like I am totally in contact with the will of this moment. I can only be contacted with the will of this moment If I am not completely bound by and distorted by my preconceptions and decisions and predeterminations of what ought to be right now. I can pray and talk to G-d about changing, growing, and moving this, but only if I am willing to see exactly what is right now and be in that and be real with that—that's v'ani tefliati lashem et ratzon. That's where my prayer is really yours, G-d, when it's in the eyt ratzon, when it's in the real timeliness of will, when I am totally connected to His will right now. Only then can I talk about impacting that, changing that moving that, shifting that. But if it's all about predetermined stuff, so then you're not aligned. And you might also be impacting things but it will be far less in the alignment in a way that it will be cause the vibration in the reality at large. Just like only Hillel can say im ani kan hakol kan. If myself is here, then all is here. If ani is not here, all is not here, can't be here.  That is really the Vayifga bamakom that we saw at the beginning of Yaakov as he began his journey, and it really was a journey, leaving Beer Sheva, going out, hitting the place, going to sleep, letting go, so then he could really be in the place, and then everything is there. All of a sudden everything in Eretz Yisrael is right there. That was Vayifga bamakom Vayishkav bamkom hahu Vayishkav, the Arizal says, Vayesh kaf bet. There is reality of these twenty-two letters, now form the words. Go to sleep and dream. Not as an escape but as a way to become real. Then he can go to a place called Charan. Which means anger. Charon af. He can go to the place which means anger. Anger is the ultimate emotive expression of disjointed non-alignment. Not accepting what is. I will not take this, I will not have this.  This is not the way I want it to be. YA! Charan! No! That is exactly the opposite of Vayifga bamakom. And all of that anger, which becomes total disconnected and total disalignment is where Yaakov needs to go to make his tikkun. And only by living through that and Lavan, and falsehood and lies, which create anger, which are primarily of the ani not being there present to, not being emet to, as in ani hashem elokeichem emet. Your ani can only be elokeichem when it's emet.  It's exactly what G-d is bringing you right now and sending you right now, so if you don't have that than you're just going to be angry. So Yaakov goes and becomes what he needs to become there. And only after that, only after you go through anger can you come to Eretz Yisrael. This by the way is why Moshe Rabbeinu lost Eretz Yisrael in anger, this the Maharal explains, that in hitting the rock and expressing anger there was a disalignment. And you can't go into Eretz Yisrael like that. Because Eretz Yisrael is Yis-ra-el, and needs to come through Cana'an, hachna'ah of what is, surrender, hoda'ah, acceptance of being whole will. Only from that can be born the tikkun which allows him to come back to Eretz Yisrael knowing what's meant to be with him, what's not meant to be with him, get the pachim ketanim, and then be able to face Esav and all that false reality and move ahead into all that we saw.   What about mourning? I don't think that takes a person out of the now. I hear what you're saying, A sorrow for what has been lost. There's a process in the grieving to go over— It should be noted that aveilut is not a time for simcha. Avelut is the opposite of simchah. There is a taking of hiatus from the presence of being, in that sense. I hear that.

Join us as Yis interviews Dr. Courgi, an Endocrinologist from St. Catherine's of Sienna Hospital, on managing diabetes. 

TBJ Music Director Matthew J. Turk explores the folk process through three melodies Et Dodim, Yis'm'chu V'mal'chut'cha and Hinei Mah Tov, discovering similarities, differences and the distinction between oral and written tradition in folk music.

Parshat Vetchanan (Deuteronomy 6) Geoffrey Stern and Rabbi Roy encounter the iconic call to Faith of the Shema Yisrael to explore the complexity of faith and especially the contribution of the Musar Movement Sefaria Source Sheet: www.sefaria.org/sheets/337360 Transcript: Geoffrey Stern  And today, we are going to discuss the one sentence that pretty much I think every Jew knows about has heard is our calling card and it is this Shema Yisrael that's found in in Deuteronomy 6: 4. And I'm sure we could just spend the whole afternoon just talking about what Shema means to you and means to me, and we definitely you're going to do that. But we're also going to use it as an excuse to look into my background in terms of the Yeshiva, I studied in a Musar Yeshiva. And there were certain insights that I got into the moment of Shema that I want to share. But let's start by saying Roy, what does? The Lord is our God, the Lord is one Shema Yisrael. Why is it so iconic? And what what does it mean to you when you say it twice a day.   Roy Feldman  I mean, the simple meaning is that it's accepting the yoke of heaven. It's a declaration that is kind of unambiguous, that we accept God as the sole creator and sole ruler of the universe, Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad. It's very unambiguous. It doesn't waver at all. Even if we have, you know, some thoughts about theology or different feelings about God or, you know, wrestling with God in some ways, at different times, twice a day, we kind of just set those aside and say Shema Yisrael twice a day where we don't waver and don't have any compunctions about saying that. And that's an important way to bookend the day. It really, opens the day, and it closes the day. We say Shema in the morning and at night, before we go to bed. And so I think that's  the real statement of the Shema that whatever happens in the middle of the day, and whatever thoughts we might have, we bookend the day with this declaration that we accept God,   Geoffrey Stern  I think that's absolutely correct. This sense of accepting the"Ol Malchut Shemayim", the kingship of God. And I love the fact that you say that it's kind of a moment of intense focus and acceptance. And that serves as a wonderful segway to the story that really impacted me and will serve as the crux of this conversation. So I went to a Musar Yeshiva... the Musar movement was started, I believe in about the 1700s, 1800s, about the same time as the Enlightenment, and possibly as a response to the Enlightenment in Eastern Europe by a rabbi called Rabbi Yisrael Salanter. And I was fortunate to go to a Yeshiva, that was headed by Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe, who studied under the alter from Mir, Rav Yerucham Leibovitz. And he told this story as follows. He said, once a student was saying the Shema and Robbi Yerucham came up to him. And he said to him, so did you say the Shema with Kavanah, with intention? And the student replied, Well, of course, Rebbe..  totally. And he said, so. Let me get this straight. When you said this Shema, you accepted this yoke of heaven, on your feet, and everywhere that you're going to go the rest of the day and the rest of your life and on your tongue, in terms of everything that you're going to speak, your hands and all of your actions, your mind and all of your thoughts, your heart and your emotions. And let me ask you something, did you feel like rebelling? And the students stopped and he paused? And he says, Rebbe, Hash Veshalom! God forbid, I never felt like rebelling. And Reb Yerucham turn to him and said, my boy, you've never said the Shema in your life. I found that story is so powerful. And I guess representative of what the Musar movement is, because it took something that should have such a purity of intention. And as you were saying this kind of focus [and unambiguity]. It even includes in it the word "One" "Echad" what word could we pick that represented harmony any more than the word "One"? And here this Reb Yeruchum introduced that if you didn't have the unharmonious feeling of rebellion. If you didn't feel a twitch of unacceptance then you probably haven't said Shema with intention at any time in your life. Roy before I give you a little bit more of my further reflection on that story, what what does that story say to you?   Roy Feldman  It's an amazing story that actually brings to mind a similar or a parallel ... that if you don't wrestle with God.... What the story is really saying is that if you don't wrestle with God, that you don't really believe in God, you don't really have the real feeling of Shema. Eliezer Berkovitz, who was a Jewish philosopher who passed away a couple decades ago, in Chicago, has a book called Faith after the Holocaust where he kind of tries to account for having faith, in light of the terrible evil that was the Holocaust. And in the introduction to that book, Berkovitz writes that if you did not have questions of faith, if when you were faced with the death camps, and with the murderous Nazis, you didn't say, "Where is God now?" Then you yourself, don't really believe in God? Because how could you not have a problem with God, if we believe in that great God, that's all good and all knowing, and all powerful and just wants good for us? If that's the God that we believe in, then when faced with such evil, if you really believe in God, then you have to question God at that moment. And that's very similar to the story that you were just telling, with, with the questions of saying the Shema, but wrestling with Shema, rebelling against God. Each one of us faces, difficulties in life, whatever our difficulties may be, and some are greater than others. But at any point in our lives, we are faced with situations in which we really have to ask "Where is God for us now?" And why is God doing this? or What does God intend by doing that? And I think that's really the crux of that story about the Shema.   Geoffrey Stern  I couldn't agree more. You know, even if we just focus on the the wording, what started as a simple expression of faith, when when Rashi looks at it, he says, Well, no, actually, there's a progression here. Shema Yisrael Hashem Elokenu Hashem Echad. Here, O Israel, the Lord our God, and the intention there is maybe the God of the Jewish people, one day will be the one God meaning will be accepted by the whole world. And so even in that there's maybe less of a sense of conflict. But there is a sense of resolution. And that faith is not something that static, that's faith is something that has to grow. And I think you and I would both agree that probably the the biggest catalyst for growth in faith is turmoil, is the sweat, the work of building one's faith,  whether on a national universal level, or more importantly, on on a personal level. So even baked into the phrase, he's not all together, he or she is not one yet. We have to work at it.   Roy Feldman  Yeah, I think that's absolutely. That's absolutely right.   Geoffrey Stern  The other thing that's kind of interesting, and of course, clubhouse, and a podcast is an audible network. But if you have the Torah sitting in front of you, you'll see that the word Shema, the Ayin the last letter of the word Shema is a very large, and the Dalit at the end of Echad is also very large and the rabbi's explained that the reason for this is if you change the letter of Shema to an Aleph it means Shemma...  "maybe". And if you change the letter, Dalet at the end of the Echad, which means "one" to a Resh, which looks very similar, it means "acher" it means "others" and of course it makes you think of "Elohim Acherim" other gods. So it's almost as though the Masoretic text and the tradition that we come from is looking at this very simple positive formulation of faith and baking into it all the possibilities for hearing wrong,  misunderstanding it. If you listen to a traditional Jew say the Shema at the end they go "Echaaaaaaa D" and again, that tradition comes from stressing the fact that it's a Dalet and not a Resh. It's it's kind of fascinating, isn't it?   Roy Feldman  It is fascinating and not only do we do stress that Dalet at the end to make sure it's a Dalet and not a Resh, but many traditional Jews are also more careful about pronouncing all of the words of the Shema correctly, even more so than they are about the rest of the service for that same reason to make sure that we're saying everything exactly right and as intended. So there'll be no questions about what we're saying with the Shema. I think another interesting thing about the Shema is that we call it the most famous prayer in Judaism, but in reality, it's not a prayer. We've been saying it's a declaration, and it's really a declaration that precedes the prayer. The rabbi's in the Tractate Berachot in the Babylonian Talmud, note that one is always supposed to proceed the Shemona Esrai with the blessing of Go-al Yisrael, which is really the final blessing after the Shema itself. I think that one of the meanings of that is that in order to pray in order to stand before God, and make requests for good health, and for a livelihood, and for sustenance, and for for peace, and for all of these things, before that, we have to make a declaration that we accept God. So it's interesting that many people think of it as a prayer, but it's really not a prayer. It's a declaration of sorts.   Geoffrey Stern  Yeah, I think that's absolutely true. Although, it could be aspirational, especially if you take it from the perspective of what Rashi said, and the fact that It reflects a hope and a desire, as opposed to a reflection of the current state. But I want to discuss a little bit further this really talent that the rabbi's, but I would say the Jewish people have for seeing in a statement both itself and its opposite. And I think that's what Rab Yeruchem was saying in terms of "and you never rebelled". You know, the flip side of faith, real faith is this radical sense of rebellion. And if you don't have one, you don't have the other. And it's the summertime and I'm thinking back to when I was a camper at Camp Tovah Vodaas. And that was not a Musar Yeshiva, it was a more of a Hasidic Yeshiva. And the spiritual head of that Rav Moshe Wolfson, we used to take us students out into nature. And as many of us are this weekend in nature, and he quoted a paragraph in Pirkei Avot;  the Ethics of the Fathers. And it says "if one is studying while walking on the road, and interrupts his study and says, how fine is this tree? Or how fine is that newly plowed field, the Bible accounts to him as if he was mortally guilty".  "ke-iIlu Mitchayev beNafsho" as if he had done the worst sin. And sitting there in nature, the rabbi said to us, how could that possibly be? And he said, so here's the correct interpretation. He says, if you are studying Torah, and you look at nature, and you think that that's an interruption, you are guilty and your soul is guilty. It's not that it is an interruption that you interrupt your study, but that you think that it's an interruption that you don't understand that the beauty of God can be found in the Torah in the revealed law, but it can also be found in nature. And I thought that it contained in that little story, too, is a wonderful lesson to us. But the bigger thing is how you can take a phrase and turn it on its head, how you can find an insight that goes 360 degrees in the opposite direction. And this is really Jewess approach of Yeah, you're right and you're also right... Elu V'Elu Devrai Elohim Hayim.   Roy Feldman  Yeah, that remark reminds me of the expression, "don't let school get in the way of your education". that's similar to the the Rabbinic passage that you just quoted. That is don't  let the law and wonder of nature, which is really God's creation, be an interruption to your learning. It really is part and parcel of your learning. Just as there are many elements in education that aren't formally part of school, but they really are an integral part of one's education. And we see that in so many different areas of where something seem like they might be a distraction. And some things really are a distraction, let's not pretend like there's no distractions, but don't let things that seem like a distraction but can really be valuable sources of spiritual growth or intellectual growth get in the way of what we perceive to be the formal learning.   Geoffrey Stern  Absolutely. So so I want to go back to the Musar movement and use my experience there and to share with with you what my insight is into the Musar movement. Most people translate the Musar movement as an ethical movement in Judaism, a focus on ethics. And I think that there's a very, very small part of that, which is true because all of Judaism focuses on ethics and being a good person. I think what sets the Musar movement apart is that one constantly is working and working, and sweating the details of even the most obvious thing like God is one. Like, we need to be observant and learn from all things, whether nature or not. There's a verse in the Torah that says that "im Bechukotai Telechu"  that you should walk in my laws and the Sifra, the commentary explains that walking in God's laws means "amaylim B'Torah" it means struggling with the Torah. So if I had to represent the Mussar movement, it really looks at all of Judaism and says you have to struggle with everything. You can't take any obligation [at face value].  You know, when I was at that Yeshiva after a year you were invited into a Va'ad that might meet at midnight, twice a week. And you might take the simplest concept, you might take the concept of being thankful of being hopeful, the concept of belief, and we would literally spend six months focused on it. The Masgiach , Rabbi Wolbe would give us actual [thought] experiments that we had to do in terms of understanding what it means to be thankful and not being thankful and when that thankfulness is self serving, and I think that really, what I would love to share with you all today is this sense of, if you've never questioned what thankfulness is, then you've never been thankful if you've never understood what pain is and hardship is from both sides. I think that's what the Musar movement really... is the magic of it, that it gave to me. And that I have found the most intriguing part of my love affair with Judaism is that nothing can be only be taken at face value. And there's always this struggle in a good way. We can't forget that the word "Yisrael" is the name that Jacob got after struggling with the angel. Matt. Welcome to the platform. What what's on your mind today?   Mathew Landau  Hi, everyone. great conversation. Thank you. Well, I'm just back from Italy. And I was in too many churches. And it's sort of when I was davening on Tuesday, I was looking at the liturgy again, and I had a question I want to be a Musar for a second and sweat a detail .... when you talked about the Shema (I may be misquoting you, but you suggested something like the whole world will come to no one God). So in the Aleynu prayer, that paragraph that begins Al Keyn Nikaveh l'cha". "Therefore, we put our hope in you" and it goes on to say that very soon that you'll remove all detestable idolatry from the earth and false gods will be utterly cut off. I was curious from a maybe a Talmudic perspective or what Roy thinks about that interpretation. I spoke to one religious friend of mine that he knew of one Talmudic track. That that meant that that's when the Messiah will come and I won't name names, but I think there's some people we know that may wish to put the whole messianic concept of Judaism to the side. And so therefore, does it mean when we're davening this part of Aleynu that we're thinking that everyone's going to come around to either being Jewish or just being their own thing? But having no idolatry? I'm curious. Thank you.   Roy Feldman  Yeah, I think that's that's a great question. That's the famous part of the liturgy, so often sung at the end of Alynu, and the people who come to synagogue know that part of the liturgy, I think the key to understanding that line is understanding the word "Shem". Beyom ah'hu yiyeh Hashem Echad u'shemo echad"  , God will be one, and his name will be one. And what's "Shem" usually means in the Bible is  translated a reputation. For example, the Ba'al Shem Tov, the founder of the Hasidic movement, he was the master of a good name, that means he was a master of a good reputation, he had developed a good reputation for himself as being a spiritual counselor, so to speak. And that's if you look throughout the Bible and see what that when the word shem or name is used, name means reputation, how you're known, and we use that in English, too. He has a good name in the community means reputation. So I think when we save that line of the Aleynu prayer, what it means is, on that day, God will be one, which he already is, God is already one, and his reputation will be one, meaning everybody in the world will understand that God is one. It doesn't mean everybody's gonna be Jewish, it doesn't mean. I don't know what the Messianic undertones of it are. I can't you know, messianic era could be a very generic phrase, that means sometime in the future, when the world is at peace, and there are simply no problems in the world. That's the era towards which we hope the world is going. And so that's the simplest interpretation of "on that day God will be one and his name will be one". Not only will he be one, which is, you know, the metaphysics of it. He already is one. But his reputation will also be one ... there won't be a time when everybody kind of acknowledges that.   Geoffrey Stern  I think that it is clear that if you look at Rashi's comment, he's probably talking along the lines that both you, Roy and Matt are talking in terms of Messianism. But I think it's so obvious there is so many religions and practices of spirituality that are looking for the ultimate harmony, the ultimate one, you know, the Buddhist comes to the hotdog stand and they asked, What do you want on it? And he goes, I want one with everything. So that we all want ultimately, to find a world that lacks dissonance, that truth is obvious. And I think that's a way that you can harmonize what Rashi is talking about, which is the struggle for oneness, is a struggle. And it's a continuum over time, but it's an aspiration for harmony, and whether that harmony is personal, whether it's national, whether it's universal, I think it's how you take it and how it works for you. Elise welcome to the bima   Elise Meyer  Hi, Shabbat Shalom, everybody. I love that you were talking about harmony because the point that I wanted to make is that I recently was called upon to write a haiku in honor of a friend for one of these horrible zoom birthdays. And in doing a little bit of research about Haiku, which is the Japanese poetry form where five syllables are followed by seven syllables and then five syllables. These are poems that are used to connect a person to nature and to the universe. Most of them are related to the seasons or some sort of natural phenomenon and it occurred to me that "Shema Yisrael Adnoey Elohenu Adonai echad"  is a perfect Haiku...  She ma Yis ra el, Ado noy el o hey nu, ado noy ech ad" .   Geoffrey Stern  Wow, we heard it first here on Madlik. That's That's beautiful. That's absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing that Elise.   Elise Meyer  Well thank you for everything that you do to bring us to a higher level.   Geoffrey Stern  So I would like to finish up..  we were we talked Matt about you were going into churches and we talked a little bit about haikus and Buddhism. When I think of how I would characterize the Musar movement, this struggling with Torah, I actually think of a Lutheran theologian, a German theologian, who actually was very much against Hitler, and he was, he was killed, sent to a concentration camp and then ultimately hanged for being part of the plotters to kill Hitler. And he came up with an amazing phrase and the phrase is "Cheap Grace", cheap or costly grace and he like thinkers similar to like the Kotzke Rebbe or Kierkegaard spent his whole life arguing against religion without the fiz, platitudes. Just blind faith mumbled over and over again. And I believe that this this Cheap Grace, Cheap Belief, nothing comes easy and the beauty in the struggle and the joy that I think is reflected in the Shema. And Shema has a very rich history of being with the Jewish people and individual Jews at heights of joy and at depths of sorrow. But what it is, is that it's not cheap, is that it represents inside of it in one little phrase, as you say Elise, a Haiku, but also an aspiration, this struggle between the notion of one God and many gods of dualities and harmonies. And I really do believe that the story that we started with about if you can say it and accept everything in it and not rebel, then you've never said it is so true. So I thank you why for joining us, Matt, Elise for coming up to the bima I wish us all an amazing Shabbat. This is Shabbat Nachamu, which again is the flip side of mourning of Tisha B'Av. And now comes the the joy. If you plant in tears, you reap in joy type of thing. So let's all be joyous. Let's all have Shabbat and make sure that for many generations Shema Yisrael Adonoi Elohenu adonai Echad.   Roy Feldman  Amen. Thank you so much for inviting me, Geoffrey, this was a wonderful conversation. Thank Mathew and Elise for joining us.   Geoffrey Stern  Thanks so much.

Mike Isaacson: Da j00z! [Theme song] Nazi SS UFOsLizards wearing human clothesHinduism's secret codesThese are nazi lies Race and IQ are in genesWarfare keeps the nation cleanWhiteness is an AIDS vaccineThese are nazi lies Hollow earth, white genocideMuslim's rampant femicideShooting suspects named Sam HydeHiter lived and no Jews died Army, navy, and the copsSecret service, special opsThey protect us, not sweatshopsThese are nazi lies Mike: At the core of nazi lies is antisemitism. Since the Second World War it has disguised itself in many guises–Rothschilds, Soros, Bildebergs, lizard people. At its core is an all-powerful entity controlling the masses and aiming to destroy the nation through the corruption of culture and politics, which remains at the heart of fascist conspiracy theory. One of the ur-texts of Jew hatred in the 21st century is David Duke's book “Jewish Supremacism,” which makes the claim that not only do Jews control the world, but that our religion teaches us to do so. Today, we're joined by Ben Siegel who has his master's in Religion, the Hebrew Bible, and Ancient Near Eastern Studies from the Claremont School of Theology. (Wow, that's a mouthful.) Welcome to The Nazi Lies Podcast, Ben. Ben Siegel: Thanks for having me Mike. I'm grateful for the opportunity to trash a Jew hater's biblical scholarship. Mike: [laughs] Very good. Okay, so before we get into Duke's book, let's talk a bit about how Judaism works, because it's very unlike Christianity. Can you give us a rundown of how Jewish law and Jewish morality works? Ben: Sure. I'll do my best. Now the Jewish legal system, known in Hebrew as halakha, is a comprehensive framework that informs the behaviors of religious, and also frequently secular, Jews. It takes as its starting point the written text, the Torah, the biblical books of Genesis through Deuteronomy, from which it derives 613 mitzvot, meaning laws or commandments, as authoritative God-given instruction on how to live an observant Jewish life. So from those texts, considered the written Torah, what's called the oral Torah is derived. This comprises successive centuries worth of interpretation of the written Torah by rabbis. The earliest of these is the Mishnah, which was compiled early in the second century of the common era, and the Gemara, rabbinical commentary on the Mishnah that was put together between the second and fifth centuries CE. These commentaries were collected to produce the Talmud. Now one in the Galilee region of Israel between 300 and 350 CE, known as the Jerusalem Talmud, and the second far more extensive Talmud compiled in Babylon in about 450 to 500 CE. This is the Babylonian Talmud. This is the one that people tend to cite most. It's really these long, extensive discourses weighing legal arguments on virtually every topic that was relevant to Jews during these periods, from personal and communal religious devotion to economic regulations to laws concerning marriage, dietary restrictions, relations with non-Jews; you name it. Now the Talmud is upheld to this day by most Jewish communities across the world as the basis for living an appropriate Jewish life in accordance with halakha and in accordance with God's will and vision for the world. Halakha informs Jewish ethics to a great deal as much as it undergirds legal and political concerns–a concern for ethical treatment of one's community and one's neighbors, stemming from the collective memory of slavery in Egypt, an ethics of solidarity, really, righteousness, compassion, and justice, in effect. Mike: Okay, so Duke takes aim at our self-description as the chosen people. This is commonly misinterpreted. What does it mean when the Jews say we are the chosen people? Ben: As the old saying goes, “How odd of God to choose the Jews.” So there's this notion that God selected the Israelites for a particular theological mission, to live according to His laws, and to be a light unto nations, inspiring other people through their example. But there's also this idea that the Jews chose God. That Abraham and his descendents embraced monotheism through a special and unique relationship with the deity. Chosenness in this sense isn't indicative of inherent ethnic or racial superiority, as Duke argues. I'd feel safe saying he's projecting his own white supremacist views onto the Jews here. Mike: You don't say. Ben: [laughs] Yeah, I do.  Mike: Okay, so another thing that David Duke derides is our holidays. Specifically, he describes Purim and Pesach as a celebration of the slaughter of gentiles, which I find absolutely laughable. Do you want to clear that one up? Ben: This would absolutely be hilarious if it weren't so malicious. Pesach celebrates the liberation of the Israelite people from slavery and oppression in Egypt. Recalling the ten plagues during the seder does recognize the suffering inflicted upon the Egyptians to make this happen. But this isn't a joyful moment. It's typically somber. The recitation of each plague is followed by dripping a drop of wine from our cups onto our plates to signify how we ourselves are diminished by the Egyptians' suffering. There's also a similarly warped misinterpretation of Purim going on here, where we celebrate the prevention of genocide against us. So in the Purim story, Haman had ordered the Jews put to death. The Megillah Esther makes it clear that the 70,000+ Persians killed at the end of the book are those sent by Haman to slaughter the Jews. And the Jews were only able to defend themselves because king Ahasuerus gives them permission to pick up swords. And to be frank, Mike, defense against genocide seems to a pretty legitimate cause for merrymaking.  Mike: Yeah, no, for sure. It's a really fun holiday if you've ever celebrated it, you know. It's a lot of dress up… I've heard it described as basically a combination of Halloween and New Years all wrapped into one. It's really fun.  Ben: Sure, if you like to drink and scream, Purim is the holiday for you. Mike: There you go. [laughs] Okay, so now let's get into the nitty gritty. So, David Duke cites a whole bunch of scriptures to make the Jews out to be haters of all things goyishe, or non-Jewish, with scriptural references that appear to justify unscrupulous behavior towards them. First of all, before we get into that, what does the word “goy” mean? Ben: Well it would be prudent to acknowledge that the term “goy” changes meaning slightly over time. In the biblical text, it means nation or people, not nation in the modern sense of Westphalian nation-states, but more as a homogenous ethnic identity. The Israelites were recognized as a goy here. Most notably, Exodus 19 where God promises Abraham that he will make his people “goy gadol,” a great people, Exodus 19:6. As we enter into the rabbinic period, where the Jews in the diaspora are negotiating Jewish identity as a minority population, goy predominantly takes on the meaning of non-Jew as a distinguishing marker. This interpretation of “goy” has persisted to this day, and is perhaps the most commonly recognized usage of the term. I have seen discussions among antisemites who misinterpret it as meaning “cattle,” based on connotations in Talmudic texts. But these texts offer a strict binary worldview where “Jew” is seen as akin to human, whereas non-Jews are aligned with animals. I think it's important to make the distinction that this framework is a legal one not necessarily a political one. Post exilic diaspora Jews did not have the kind of social power needed to foster political programs that affected the disenfranchisement of other groups typically associated with rhetorics of dehumanization.  Mike: Okay, so kind of on that point, Duke points to a number of decontextualized passages from Jewish scripture which describe gentiles in various negative ways: barbarians, animals, animal-fuckers. And I've got a few passages here which I've provided to you in advance. So there's Gemara Kiddushin 68a, Yebamoth (and correct me on any of these pronunciations) Yebamoth 98a, Baba Mezia 114a-b, Abodah Zarah 22a-b, and Baba Mezia 108b. Can you give us a little exegesis? Ben: I'd be happy to, but first I want to talk about how Duke sourced these texts. There's been some commentary on him plagiarizing Kevin McDonald who is an evolutionary psychologist working out of Cal State University-Long Beach. He uses the same arguments and the citations. But it also appears that Duke took many of the translations of these texts from a book by Elizabeth Dilling, who was a far-right political activist in the 1930s, noted antisemite, who went to Nazi Germany and spoke very highly of what she saw there. So with these translations that he's using, I think it's important that we take it with an enormous grain of salt, first of all. Mike: Right. Ben: But also the thing I've noticed most about non-Jews who rage against the Talmud is that they haven't read the damn thing. And frankly, I haven't read all of it either. It's an enormous body of text. And in that body of text there are, you know, rabbis disagreeing with each other. So one view may be held, and the exact opposite view is going to be upheld a line down. Just worth noting for when we're looking at these texts that are obviously cherry-picked. Mike: Right. Ben: The first one you mentioned, Kiddushin 68a, it's from a tractate that deals with rules pertaining to marriage and engagement laws. Now what Duke says about this is the Talmud denotes gentiles as animals. So here it's forbidding the betrothal of an Israelite to a Canaanite maidservant. One thing, there's no Canaanites in third century Persia at this time, so this is purely a hypothetical situation. But it's really this legal justification for not marrying non-Jews because of the potential for them to influence a Jew's worship in a negative way, so that they won't follow halakha. And there's definitely a discussion here of identifying them as like an animal, but it's not a similar dehumanization that we see in typical nazi rhetoric of like “Jews are cockroaches” or “Jews are vermin.” It's like, here is this category of thing that is not us, and we cannot mix with that. Does that make sense? Mike Yeah, I guess. Does the issue of her being a maidservant matter in a subordinate position to the person?  Ben: Some rabbis argue yes; some rabbis argue no. But really it's more that who she is, based on this identity, is making the betrothal ineffective. It's not considered valid. Mike: Okay, so like– Ben: Yeah. Mike: Go ahead. Ben: No, go right ahead. Mike: Okay, yeah continuing right along, let's go to Yebamoth 98a? Ben: Yeah, Yebamoth deals with rules of yibbum. This is what's commonly known as levarite marriage, where the brother of a man who died without children is permitted and encouraged to marry the widow. What Duke has this translated as is that all gentile children are animals. It doesn't say anything of the sort here. It's saying that the children of gentiles don't have a father. They don't have a patrilege. Like the offspring of a male gentile is considered no more related to him than the offspring of donkeys or horses. It's just a way of saying that the rabbis don't care who the kid's dad is. It's like, they couldn't be bothered. Mike: I see. Ben: They're not interested in the patrilege of non-Jews. They're really more concerned with Jewish family ties. Mike: Okay, so moving along, there's two passages from Baba Metzia, one is 114a-b and one is 108b. Ben: Mmhmm. Baba Metzia discusses civil matters. That is property, law of usury, other issues such as lost property and damages done to it. So the issue here is again, categorizing– Duke takes issue with the categorizing of goyim as non-human. And again, it comes down to the same thing. It's less that they are not recognized as human, and more that it is an issue of ritual purity because they don't adhere to the same religious standards. Therefore, they necessarily can't contaminate certain Jewish sacred spaces. Mike: That's probably– Ben: And– Mike: Go ahead. Ben: Yeah, sorry go ahead. Mike: I was gonna say, it's probably also worth noting that like many Jews, I would venture even to say most Jews, probably don't follow a lot of these laws. [laughs] Ben: Yeah, many of them aren't even aware of them. You know, you can spend your entire life studying these texts and maybe come across it once. You know, there are thousands of these tractates. Mike: And last in this category was Abodah Zarah 22a-b. Ben: Mmhmm. [laughs] This one's funny. Duke says gentiles prefer sex with cows. What the text is actually saying is that the animal of a Jew is more appealing to gentiles than their own wives. [laughs] So, I don't know if this intentionally, you know, throwing some shade gentiles and their own marriage relations, but it seems more in keeping with a concern that's held by the Talmudic sages of how do you ensure that an animal that you are sacrificing is ritually pure. That means it has no blemishes; it is handicapped in any way; but very importantly, that it has not had any sexual relations with anybody. So Abodah Zarah, literally meaning “foreign worship” or “strange service,” it deals with how to live with people who don't adhere to the same religious convictions. And the concern of beastiality is kind of a big, overarching theme in this text to the point that there are many discussions of concern about whether or not you can purchase a sacrificial animal from a goy. Some rabbis say no; some say yes. Interestingly enough, there is one narrative in the text, where a goy named Dama– The rabbis go to him, and purchase a red heifer which is like a really big omen in the bible. It's like huge. That's like primo sacrifice. And he is upheld as a righteous goy and as someone who would never shtup his cow. So what's really interesting here is that you've got these two different voices in the text that are both preserved as authoritative. One, there is the concern that the goy will engage in beastiality. The other is this one goy Dama who is upheld as an example of righteousness in regards to being able to buy, you know, a sacrificial animal for him. Of course, Duke isn't going to look at this text because it doesn't serve his overall purpose as vilifying the Jewish people as anti-goy. Mike: And before we continue, I want to inform our listeners that shtup is a Yiddish word for “having sex with.” Ben: Yeah, literally it means “push,” but yeah, it means sex. Mike: Alright so, Duke also makes the claim that there are different laws that Jews follow when it comes to dealing with the goyim. So he specifically points to Gittin 57a, Abadoh Zarah 67b, Sanhendrin 52b, Sanhedrin 105a-b and 106a-b. Can you explain what's going on in those passages? Ben: Sure, so my understanding of his gripe with Gittin 57a is what is the punishment for Jesus in the next world, saying that he will be boiled in excrement. He's going to be punished in boiling poop, and that anyone who mocks the word of the sages will be sentenced to boiling excrement. This was his sin, as he mocked the words of the sages. And the Gemara comments come and see the difference between these sinners of Israel and the prophets of the nations of the world as Balaam, who was a prophet, wished Israel harm whereas Jesus the Nazarene, who was a Jewish sinner, sought their wellbeing. So there is this, kind of– There's some antagonism towards Jesus in the text because of its function as– Jesus's function and Christianity's function as a counter-claim to the inheritance of Abraham and of Isaac and Jacob. So there's some theological competition going on here. Mike: And what about Abodah Zarah 67b? Ben: Mmhmm. “The halakha from the case of gentiles that require purging. Vessels that gentiles used for cooking that the Torah requires that one purge through fire and ritually purify before they may be used by Jews.” You know, he seems to be indicating that– Duke seems to be indicating that the text is saying that goyim are dirty. But this isn't an argument for, like, hygienic cleaning. The ancient Israelites and Talmudic sages didn't have a germ theory of disease. What they're talking about is purifying these vessels for religious purposes, specifically. They have to be rededicated for their sacred use because they may have come in contact with forbidden food, with non-kosher food. Mike: Right, so this is about the laws of kashrut, right? Ben: Yeah, precisely. And again this is Abodah Zarah which is all about how do we do our religion properly with all of these other influences around us. Mike: Right, okay so Sanhendrin 52b. Ben: Yeah, this is another Jesus one. So Duke says that the person being punished in this text is Jesus, and he sees this as an anti-Jesus text. But the text doesn't mention Jesus whatsoever. It's a general rule for capital punishment by strangulation which is outlined in Leviticus. So this is one of your big nazi lies. He doesn't mention– They don't mention Jesus here. Mike: Is this one of the ones where he mentions Balaam or something? Ben: I believe so. Mike: Okay, can you talk about who Balaam is, because Duke misidentifies him as Jesus. Ben: Yeah he does that a lot. So in the book of Numbers, Balaam is a prophetic figure, identified in the text as a false prophet, who goes to send a curse against the Israelite people, and he is himself cursed for it and put to death. So he's kind of like this figure of those who would seek the destruction the Jewish people. He's a big bad. Mike: Right, and since he's in the book of Numbers which is the Torah, right? Ben: Yeah. Mike: Yeah, I mean, that would mean that this is, like, well before Jesus's time, right? Ben: Absolutely. Mike: Like there's no way this would have been Jesus. Ben: For sure. Granted, there are certain Christian interpreters of the text who see Hebrew bible references to Jesus throughout. Mike: Right. Ben: So they kind of see Jesus as foreshadowed in so much. Mike: Alright so, moving on, Sanhendrin 105a-b? Ben: So this one's interesting because it says that Balaam was a diviner by using his penis. [both laugh] And he's one who engaged in beastiality with his donkey. So what Duke takes to be a condemnation of Jesus, because he's misidentified Jesus with Balaam, is really kind of like textbook Talmudic condemnation of a big bad goy. Now here's a guy who sought the destruction of the Jewish people. In the book of Numbers he's got this talking donkey who prevents him– who tries to stop him from going forward with his mission. And we know that he was bad because, according to the Talmud, he had sex with his donkey. There's this major preoccupation with bestiality in the Talmud, and it is weird as hell. But it's there, and we've got to deal with it. [laughs] Mike: Okay, and Sanhendrin 106a-b. Ben: Again, this one's not about Jesus, but rather about Balaam who has been misidentified with Jesus. I think this is– this kind of misidentification is just indicative of Duke not doing his homework. My understanding is that he took these from Dilling, and he never fact-checked to see if, you know, this is what the text says or this is what the text identifies. You know, this is bad scholarship on his part which is probably to be expected from this guy who defrauded his own his own white supremacist organization and has a fake degree. Mike: Right, and he even says in the book that he's not doing anything original, that it's just collected from other sources. Ben: Right. Mike: Well, since we're on the subject of Jesus, we may as well go with the rest of the passages that I have here. So Sanhendrin 90a. I'm kind of skipping around here. Ben: Yeah this one's all about prohibition against idol worship. And you said this one is Jesus-related? Mike: That's what he said, yeah. About Christianity and Jesus, yeah. Ben: I don't find much to do with Jesus in this text. Jesus isn't mentioned in this one. It's primarily about idol worship and people who prophesize with regards to it. Maybe he's trying to say that, like, the preoccupation with idol worship is a condemnation of Christianity, but I'm just not seeing where he's getting Jesus out of this. Mike: Okay then, on that same subject Shabbat 116a. Ben: Yeah, holy books in Babylonian temples. Now is this the one where he says a goy can't read the text? Mike: It might be, yeah. Or a Christian can't read the text. Ben: Yeah, oh no, this is a really particular one. Again this one is just– There's a lot of rhetorical violence against those who do the religion improperly or don't treat the sacred texts as they should. You know, these are practices and artifacts that are very important to the Jewish people, so they hold them in very high regard. Mike: So I guess moving along, Duke refers to a number of passages in the Bible that he takes to mean that Jews are preoccupied with racial integrity. (Projection much?) He points specifically to Sanhendrin 59a, Deuteronomy 7:2-6, Ezra 9:1-2 and 9:12, Leviticus 20:24, and Nehemiah 13:3. So what do these passages say and what do they actually mean? Ben: With Sanhedrin 59a, which Sanhedrin primarily deals with criminal law, it says that “A gentile who engages in Torah study is liable to receive the death penalty. As it is stated: ‘Moses commanded us a law, an inheritance of the congregation of Jacob.'” This is from Deuteronomy 33:4. “Indicating that it is an inheritance for us, and not for them.” So there is one sage, a rabbi Yokhanon who is arguing that goyim who study Torah, you know, they're liable to be put to death. You know, they expose themselves to capital punishment. He's arguing this because they view the Torah with such high esteem; it is their most sacred text. They want to preserve it. Now this text is followed a line or two down by a counterargument. It says, “You have therefore learned that even a gentile who engages Torah study is considered like a high priest.” So you've got one argument saying that a goy who studies Torah is liable to be put to death, and another that says that they have an incredible status, that studying Torah gives them very high regard. But this again is one of those instances where Duke does not consider that might undermine his central thesis that Jews are bad, are always bad, and will always be bad. Mike: Okay, so what about the Deuteronomy passages? Ben: Deuteronomy is fascinating. We could do a whole discussion of that book in and of itself because it is–Deuteronomy in Greek means “second law”–but it is kind of a later law code that is arguably the result of a very kind of reactionary sect of Israelite theology that does not see coexistence with people who don't worship YHWH as possible. And rhetorically, what they are saying is when the Israelites get to the promised land, they are to commit genocide against the peoples of the land. Don't intermarry with them because that could lead to apostasy, that could lead to illicit worship. You know, their daughters will lead you to serve other gods. The sense here is that Israel is a holy people, God has chosen them to be special unto him, and if they allow this foreign influence to affect them, that will be undermined. Mike: Okay, and what about the Ezra text? Ezra 9:1-2 and 9:12. Ben: Yeah, there's some scholarship to indicate that Ezra and Nehemiah represent one scholarly tradition. So after the Babylonian empire was defeated by the Persian empire, the Persians allowed the community of Israelites that had been taken into exile, the golah community, to return to the land, to rebuild the temple, and to reestablish rule. So one of the concerns of the returning community is this very specific idea that the reason they were exiled in the first place is because God is punishing them for worshipping other gods. And that sense also undergirds the theology of the book of Deuteronomy. So their solution is that, to prevent that from ever happening again, they have to divorce from the non-Israelite wives that they had married that might lead them into temptation. Now this is the view of the returning community, not the community that had stayed in the land of Israel during that time. So these would have been the intelligentsia, the priestly class, the aristocracy, skilled laborers, so it's not a normative view, but it kind of becomes normative because it becomes the dominant voice of the text, if that makes any sense. But they are saying that for the sake not just of religious purity but also to establish power for themselves, you know, the returning community has a claim to power in the land, not just because they have, you know, they have a connection to it where they are before the exile, but they are supported by the Persian imperial power. They're making this new claim of identity and religiosity to assert that power. Mike: Okay and what about Leviticus 20:24? Ben: “You shall inherit their land” (“Them” being the Canaanites.) “that I will give unto you to possess it, a land that flows with milk and honey. I am the Lord your God that separated you from other people.” So this is God telling the Israelites that they will be given the promised land because God has chosen them, has separated them. The word “kodesh,” to be holy, also means separate. So it's really a theological category, not an ethnic one. You know, the Israelites are separate from these people and are given the land because of their adherence to the covenant at Sinai, not because they are of a particular ethnic or racial background. Mike: Okay, so we talked a little bit about kind of the somewhat genocidal tendencies I guess. And so David Duke talks about massacres perpetrated by Jews in the bible. He points to Deuteronomy 20:10-18, Isaiah 34:2-3. and Joshua 6:21 and 10:28-41. And when I mentioned Joshua to you, you kind of rolled your eyes at it. Ben: Yeah. Mike: So I guess let's start with Joshua then. Ben: Yeah, I do. Good. Joshua's a fascinating text. Scholars pretty much agree that it has no, or little to no, basis in historical fact. You know, one of these is that, these texts Joshua 6:21, is the destruction of the city of Jericho which according to archeological records happened several hundred years prior to when this narrative is supposed to have taken place. But what's being discussed here in 21 is the devotion of the city to the Lord, the destruction of every living thing in it. So, you know, this is absolutely a genocidal text. It's a purification of the land by the sword and by flame. So typically in war in the ancient near east, you could take slaves, you could take cattle as war booty. But what is being done here is the destruction of all of that, saying that everything belongs to God, and as such it must be destroyed and sacrificed unto him. But it's also seen as a kind of justice because here are these, for lack of a better word, pagans who stand in the way of the Israelite mission, and who may also tempt the Israelites to turn away from the path of God. So it's absolutely this violent, theologically motivated holy war, genocidal slaughter, maintained in the text. And I do think it's important to wrestle with these notions. You know, whether or not it actually happened, it's still– It's there, and it informs a great deal of thinking. It informed the colonization of the New World, whereby settlers from Europe saw themselves as Israelites and the indigenous people here as Canaanites. Robert Allen Warrior is an indigenous scholar who's done a lot of work on this. But then, the Joshua narrative also informed many of the early Zionists, and they saw themselves as, as Rachel Haverlock called the Joshua generation. Like, Ben Gurion assembled a number of different people to do bible studies on the book of Joshua. It is a text of settler colonialism and can be used to justify that kind of political programme. Mike: Okay so back to Deutero– Ben: If that's what you're trying to do, Joshua is a good place to pull from. Mike: Okay so back to Deuteronomy, 20:10-18. What's being said in there? Ben: “When you march up to attack a city, make its people an offer of peace. If they accept and open its gates, all the people shall be subject to forced labor and shall work for you. If they refuse to make peace and they engage in battle, lay siege to the city.” And the ban, or kherem, is in effect there. So destroy, destroy, destroy, and leave nothing because everything is for God. It's the same scenario– In this instance, the people in the land are given the opportunity to surrender, otherwise they are subject to the sword. It's very similar to the kind of warfare described in other texts from the ancient near east, whether they're Assyrian or Babylonian. So it's not uncommon to see this kind of siege warfare described, and it's not necessarily unique to the Israelite people. Mike: Right, I mean, yeah, I mean that was one of the things that happened to the Israelite people, at least in engaging the Romans, right? Ben: Yeah, precisely. Mike: Okay, what about Isaiah 34:2-3? Ben: This one's interesting because it's not actually a narrative of slaughter. It's a prophetic oracle delivered against the people of Edom, the Edomites, for betraying the Israelites to the Babylonians and assisting in their imperial endeavors. It's saying that, you know, you will be destroyed. You know, the corpses of your people will lay in the street. So it's not an actual thing that happened. It's part of a type of prophetic literature called oracles against the nations where the prophet of a particular book will condemn a specific people on God's behalf. Keep in mind that the prophets aren't really seen as their own agents. They're the agents of God; they speak God's word. So God through Isaiah is saying, here's what's going to happen to you because of your betrayal. Mike:  Okay, so this next part is probably going to need a trigger warning or something. So there's some really strange passages that he cites about rape and virginity that I honestly haven't looked at because by the time I got to these passages I was just tired of him being wrong every time I checked the passages he cited. So he cites Kethuboth 11b, Sanhedrin 55b and 69a-b, Yebamoth 57b, 58a, and 60b. So let's start with Kethuboth. Ben: Right, yeah, so here he's– The issue is Bath Sheeba, when she gave birth to Solomon, whether or not she was six years old, or whether or not she was an earlier age. It's not saying that six-year-olds are appropriate– or that six is an appropriate age for sexual relations with a girl. It's arguing at what age a child can conceive. Like when is conception possible? And it's saying that because Bath Sheeba gave birth to Solomon when she was six, it's somewhere around that time. Yeah, this whole discourse is really gnarly.  Mike: Okay, so what about Sanhendrin 55b? Ben: So here it's about a girl who is three years and one day whose father has arranged for her to be married, and betrothal is through intercourse. It's concerning the legal status of the intercourse with her, if it's like full-fledged sex. Really here the text is examining forbidden sexual acts that cause ritual impurity and calamity. And prior to this specific quotation is a broader context of unwitting beastiality, like beastiality that you didn't know you did. It's not justifying sex with minors; it says that the act renders the man ritually impure and liable to be put to death. Lucky for the child, I guess lucky, is that they're exempt from execution because they're a minor. Small condolence I guess. Mike: Okay so it's basically saying the opposite of what David Duke said. Ben: Yeah. Mike: Okay, what about 69a-b? Ben: I mean, this is probably a discussion of the legal ramifications of this act. Mike: Yeah this is actually, this says exactly what you were talking about earlier. So “A maiden aged three years and a day may be acquired in marriage by coition, and if her deceased husband's brother cohabitated with her, she becomes his.” Blah blah blah. Ben: Yeah, because it's Yebamoth– It's Yebamoth, right? Mike: No this is Sanhendrin. Ben: Oh Sanhendrin. So this is, yeah, criminal law. So this is the liability of criminal punishment, but also these rabbis debated everything. What is the likelihood that a three-year-old is going to be married to someone who then dies and then has to be– Again they have the option to be married to their brother so that the dead brother's lineage doesn't end. They're really negotiating, like, every possible eventuality that might happen just in case. You know, all of these are hypothetical situations. And, you know, they're gross. Some of them are just really fucked up. Mike: [laughs] Yeah Jews like to talk about a lot of weird hypotheticals. Alright so now onto the Yebamoth one. So 57b. Ben: Yeah, Yebamoth 57b. This one I've got, “A maiden aged three years and a day may be acquired by marriage in coition.” So yeah, the sex act is technically allowed. It's not condoning it. But because three-year-old girls cannot become pregnant, it's still technically forbidden because it's a waste of seed in non-procreative sex. So it's saying that she can't conceive via sexual intercourse, so it's really forbidden because sex in this worldview is not for pleasure; it's purely for procreation. So if you are wasting sperm engaging in this sex act, it's a bad thing. Not going to lie, this one's fucked up. Mike: Yeah, what about 58a? Ben: Um, doesn't say anything about minors. Mike: Really? Ben: Just, yeah, I didn't see anything about minors in this one. Mike: What about rape? Ben: Most likely. Let me just take a closer look. Mike: Or virginity or something? Ben: Yeah, do you have a quote on this one? Mike: Not sure. I mean, I don't have quotes on any of these because again I stopped looking at them. Ben: Yeah, and a lot of it is just like– It's kind of he said, she said. I don't know. I don't take David Duke's reading of these in good faith, and I don't think we can. Mike: This is a weird passage. There's something about “Through betrothal alone a woman is not entitled to eat.” This is so strange. Ben: I mean I would lie if I said that I understood the majority of Talmudic literature. Mike: Right. Ben: You know, people can spend seven years reading this entire work all the way through. The law of tamurah. Mike: Yeah, and, I mean, even– David Duke doesn't even necessarily quote these passages. He just references them. And I guess, like you said, he probably pulls them from other sources without reading them. Ben: Yeah, I– With this, I can't even tell, like, what he's arguing. Like, what is the– What issue is he taking here? Mike: Yeah, I would suggest that our listeners read this passage and try to figure out what the fuck David Duke has a problem with. Ben: Yeah exactly. Yeah [sarcastically] read David Duke's book. You'll have fun. Mike: Yeah, no don't read David Duke's book, but you can read the Talmud, that's pretty good. Ben: Spend seven years reading the whole thing. You can do it, a daf a day. Mike: Alright, do you have any notes on Yebamoth 60b? Ben: So this is where the Gemara cites another ruling related to who is considered a virgin. And it's not condoning sex with a three-year-old. It says that in the event of that happening, she remains a virgin because her hymen grows back. Like if it's through a sex act with an adult man or if her hymen is ruptured by wood. You know, she's still considered a virgin because it grows back. I don't know if that's medically true. Mike: Yeah, I was– Ben: Sounds like bullshit, but the issue here is virginity as it relates to being able to determine paternity in the long run. Mike: Okay, alright, so Judaism has changed a lot since these texts were written. So what can we say about the ethos of Judaism now as it relates to these texts? Ben: Right, obviously most Jews aren't concerned with the majority of the issues we've addressed here today. You know, they don't spend a lot of time thinking about beastiality, thank goodness. But I think if there is a single Jewish ethos, it's an affirmation of being the people of Israel, literally meaning “to wrestle with God,” Yis-ra-el. Engagement in argument over Torah are so central to our people's identity that even secular atheist Jews still contend with these issues. So as many different types of Jews as there are and how many different ways they approach the text, there still profoundly, proudly participating in a longstanding tradition that's engaging with and arguing with the tradition. I think that's the modern Jewish ethos, and it's much the same as the ancient but adapted to the current context: How do we live a good life?  Mike: Word, well Ben Siegel, thank you so much for coming on The Nazi Lies Podcast and taking the time to do the tedious work of debunking David fucking Duke. [both laugh] You can catch Ben on Twitter and Facebook at Anarcho-Judaism. Ben: Mike it has been an absolute pleasure. Thank you for having me. [Theme song]

Hear, O Israel! Sh'ma Yisrael שמע ישראל Hear, O Israel! The Lord Our God is One, Hear, O Israel! The Lord Our God is One שמע ישראל יהוה אלהינו יהוה אחד Sh' ma Yis-ra-eil, A-do-nai E-lo-hei-nu, A-do-nai E-chad O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, Let not mine enemies triumph over me שמע ישראל יהוה אלהינו יהוה אחד Sh' ma Yis-ra-eil, A-do-nai E-lo-hei-nu, A-do-nai E-chad Shew me thy ways; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, O LOrd teach me My Lord My God שמע ישראל יהוה אלהינו יהוה אחד Sh' ma Yis-ra-eil, A-do-nai E-lo-hei-nu, A-do-nai E-chad

La tercera temporada continúa su curso. En esta ocasión acompaña a Bart y Yis por la intrincada política estadounidense comentando el Gerrymandering y cómo las Matemáticas y la Computación pueden ayudar a detectar, probar y corregir los mapas electorales y así colaborar en el proceso democrático. ¿Por qué no estás fluxeando? ¡Dale al play!Bibliografía:Greer, C. (2020, 9 septiembre). Gerrymandering: How drawing jagged lines can impact an election. TED Talk. https://www.ted.com/talks/christina_greer_gerrymandering_how_drawing_jagged_lines_can_impact_an_electionVox. (2019, 17 octubre). The man who rigged America's election maps. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KpamjJtXqFIVox. (2017, 10 abril). The algorithm that could help end partisan gerrymandering. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRCZR_BbjToGuest, O., Kanayet, F. J., & Love, B. C. (2019). Gerrymandering and computational redistricting. Journal of Computational Social Science, 2(2), 119-131. https://doi.org/10.1007/s42001-019-00053-9Herschlaga, G., Ravier, R., & Mattingly, J. (2017, septiembre). Evaluating Partisan Gerrymandering in Wisconsin. Duke University. https://services.math.duke.edu/~jonm/Redistricting/wisconsinRedistricting-InitialVersion.pdfEllenberg, J. (2017, 6 octubre). How Computers Turned Gerrymandering Into a Science. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/10/06/opinion/sunday/computers-gerrymandering-wisconsin.htmlCarnegie Mellon University. (2019, 6 noviembre). Mathematicians' Work Helps Change How People Vote - News - Carnegie Mellon University. https://www.cmu.edu/news/stories/archives/2019/november/gerrymandering-pegden.htmlCMU Algorithm Sniffs Out Gerrymandering. (2018, octubre). Carnegie Mellon University's Heinz College. https://www.heinz.cmu.edu/media/2018/October/wes-pegden-gerrymanderingPedgen, W., Procaccia, A. D., & Yu, D. (2017, octubre). A partisan districting protocol with provably nonpartisan outcomes. Carnegie Mellon University. https://arxiv.org/abs/1710.08781Música: • > Red, White, Black & Blue by PEG & The Rejected is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike License. • > Shipping Lanes by Chad Crouch is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 International License. • > Organisms by Chad Crouch is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 International License. • > Moonrise by Chad Crouch is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 International License. • > Algorithms by Chad Crouch is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 International License.

For their YIS submission, Jahan Gill and Patrick Cioata designed a clever solution: a fully biodegradable, 3D-printed pencil.Their pencil takes a mere 2 years to biodegrade, compared to regular one which takes 200 years. With all that waste being saved, you could build 4000 houses and 55 cars. Their solution is also cheaper and easier to produce than ones that involve a spring mechanism.Host Michael Unger speaks to Jahan about how their came up with their design and what inspired it! 

Taka Kaneko - MC Born and raised in Yokohama, went to St.Joseph International School, transferred to YIS from 8th grade. Graduated in 2004, went to Chapman University in California, graduated in 2008. Upon graduating, he returned to Japan to work for a trading company. 2013年より世界最大のバンドコンテスト、 「エマージェンザ」にてMCとしてのキャリアを始める。 TV番組のレギュラー出演や専用コーナーを持つなど、 メディアでの出演も含め現在までに500本以上の現場実績を持つ。 業界屈指のバイリンガルスキルを活かし、 アーバンスポーツ「パルクール第1回日本選手権」や LINE主催「LIVER AWARD 2019」等の大規模イベントでの MCを始め、ライブイベントや企業パーティ、ブライダル、 様々なイベントでMCとして活躍。​ Takas Youtube Channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEDTAZ12tk4rfYHFPVVR2KA Takas Tik Tok Link https://www.tiktok.com/@kinpatsu_megane?lang=en Timestamp 0:00 - Taka on TikTok 0:44 - Introduction 2:56 - Chapman University / California 5:15 - Being a Japanese "salaryman" 7:41 - Taka's "datsu-sara" leaving the corporate world 10:31 - A turning point, MCing at "Emergenza" 13:26 - Most memorable MCing event 16:25 - MCing at weddings / how to deal with public speaking pressure 21:02 - Cleopatra Harris 21:51 - Why MCing is worthwhile 27:20 - Being a vocalist in a band / writing lyrics in English vs Japanese 31:35 -The linguistic perspectives of Japanese v English 32:52 - TikTok 36:19 - What is to come

This is when me and dirty ol’ bastard Adgeen Byrne went to the seaside, set up the Rock Pool and did a live radio broadcast from the Silver Strand in the cold of an Irish summer. It’s The Friday Rock Show at the Silver Strand. Yis don’t know where it is? Well, hint, it’s not yer granny’s landing strip down on the old acre, no, it’s a beach on the east coast of Ireland. It’s the ‘greatest shingle beach’ in the world, so say the desperate local tourist office, as they try stop residents fly-tipping across the dunes. Now it’s a painful fact, I don’t like the sun. Too big a star for me and I hate stars. Mostly the cunty ones living on this Earth… You know the sort, the attention beggars; ‘buy my shite ‘til I inject more botox.’   Thankfully I missed most of it. I’ve a 33-year studio tan, buried deep in patchbays, ribbon mics and big faders. Adgeen had to drag me off with the hat on and the talons out, to hit the beach and splash around. Nearly had a spasm. We dove into the wrinkly rock pool with submerged cassettes for music, unprovoked aggression for entertainment and other strange things that are not quite right. We’ve an array of wonderment in the show; ‘Pull the Nogger’, ‘Sgt. Bourney’s Lonely Rock Club Band’, ‘Professor Critic’, ‘Turgidy’ and ‘Areyamadindehed’. Plus stories from Colm, Busher, Katja, Joey Kafola, Gunnar Murphy and Baldy. We spurt out some great Paramore, Helloween, Nickleback, Bon Jovi, Judas Priest and Linkin Park too. So unsheathe the feet, grate off the hard skin and head on down with Adgeen and Tony of The Friday Rock Show to the Silver Strand and splash around with us, here on this teeny 2.20 minute grain of a clip, where it’s indisputably confirmed that DJ Adgeen is a dirty ol’ bastard. Then bask in the awesome full-length show wriggling down the streams yonder. Amplevoicepod create original, scripted, character & plot-driven comedy dramas. We construct fully immersive HD audio adventures. More than just a podcast, we are the Voice of Pod.

Ginger: Meeeewww! Dickus Soupus: What are you lookin’ at? Ginger: REORR! Dickus: Gaaah! Ginger: FSSST FSSST! Dickus: Get it off me face, get it Busher: Ginger! Dickus: ARGH! (Farts)… Tucker: Now’s our chance! Arlee, Busher, we’ve got to get to that flyin’ shuttle thing over there. Arlee: What about Baldy? Busher: What about Ginger? Dickus: AAAAGH! Tucker: Spikus… Show me! Spikus: I’m sorry Tucker, Baldy has no signs of life, he has expired Tucker, I am sorry. Tucker: Fack!Uh, I’m takin’ his bulletbelt, in his memory I will wear it forever. Never forget what you did Baldy. Alright lads?     Busher: He wants the service now... Arlee: Ok Tucker, let’s go. Jagger: Yeah, but what are we doin’? I’m sweatin’ here lads holding this thing. Wheeezee! Spikus: You must go. It is your only hope. Jagger: Hey, ‘ere, can somebody else hold it now.., I-I don’t want to have the whole world in my hands. Tucker: Here, I’ll take it… Dickus: (Fighting off Ginger) Aaagh! Tucker: Oiright! We gotta get to that ship if it kills us. NOW! Tonus: Overlorders? Are you alright? Can you hear me? Slaggers! Slaggers! Capture them all! I, Tonus, am now the Overlorder here! Grab them! Grab them all! Tucker: Get the skates on! Oooh! This is a fackin’ heavy belt by the way. Busher: Lookit, we can’t leave Ginger! Arlee: Come on Busher! Jagger: Move the fat arse Ned! Busher: GINGER! Tucker: Don’t just stand there lookin’ at it, get in! Busher:  Uh, I can’t leave her I can’t leave her! Tucker: Take the egg for me Arlee, and don’t drop it this time. Jagger: How do we fly this hunk o’ junk? Arlee: Flick the switch like last time? Busher: GINGER! Peshuweeshuweshuwee! Please! Come to daddy! Dickus: Aaaghghgh! Mangy orange monshtaar! Arhshhskkhs… Ginger: (Hears Busher) Reroow?- Busher: She’s seen me lads! AW GINGER! PHWIZZZ! Jagger: More knobs than a fuckin’ SSL mixin’ desk! Which one? I don’t know. I can’t relax… me head... too much stress. Fhoooo… c’mon! Block out the demons Jagger, HUAAGH… Busher: Peah! Can’t look! Ginger’s all alone out there! Arlee: You can’t go out there Ned. Busher: (tears) noooo! Arlee: No! Ned! Busher: Don’t touch me! Tucker: Jagger, it’s just an updated version of the last one; see the left panel above your head? Jagger: Yeah?  Tucker: In the centre there’s a blue hexagon, Jagger: Yeah, see that… Tucker: Well, stick the middle finger up in it, an’ pull it towards ya! Jagger: You mean give it the finger? Tucker: Yeah, give it the finger! Jagger: (Breathes in…) (Orb bursts into life) Jagger: (Exhales) Tucker: Ooiright! Let’s get airborne! Busher: No wait! She’s seen it, she’s? she’s?- come on Ginger, YES! YES! She’s comin’! Stop the plane! Stoppit! Jagger: I can’t! Me finger’s stuck up her panel! Tucker: Use your free hand Jagga, spread the fingers out in front of ya and whichever way you move your hand, this baby will follow. COME ON GINGER! Busher: (Looks up) Oh please God… I swear I’ll do whatever you say, just make sure she makes it… WOAH! Careful Jagger! Arlee: Oh me heart, I nearly dropped it.   Jagger: Sorry! I guess this means I’m the pilot now yeah? Busher: Hold still will ya! Thirty more seconds for fucksake, that’s all I’m askin’. Gingeeeerrrrr! Ginger: (Running) (REEEEOOORRR!), Dickus: (In pain) Ah, come back yis beetrailors! I’ll have your insides for this. I can’t seeeeeee. Spikus: Go Ginger… Run with your heart of fire… You can do it! Hihih! Jagger: Wheeezzzeee, this isn’t easy with me fingerin’ above me head and me nervous hand out here! Heeeheee… Tucker: Get us out of here Jagga, them aliens are gainin’… Busher: NO! Twenty seconds! What’s wrong witcha? Tucker: Are you stupid? It’s suicide! Busher: We’re not leavin’ without Ginger. She got us here, an’ I’m takin’ her back ROIGHT? Tucker: Get your hands off me Busher. Ginger: REEOWW! Tonus: RE! SPECT! WALK! Whaddya say?! THEY MUST NOT LEAVE THE SAVAGE GARDEN! Wooo! Ginger: RORWW! Busher: Ten more seconds! Jagger: Ah sick, I can lift up just by liftin’ me little finger… (FX – Power moving up) Busher: GINGOOOR!! Ginger: (running) Reeerooeer! Dickus: (Getting to his feet) … This is one flight you’re not gonna make… Ya four leg festerin’ fuss fuss! (FX – Click of Silvic Liquid) Jagger: Up, up and away! Fwooouagh! Ah this is deadly. Arlee: Lads! Yis’ll have to shut the hatch! Busher: Peah NO! She’s nearly here! Looka the runs of her! Five seconds. Fowar seconds! Stay on the ground! Dickus: Think you can tear me to shreds hah? Spikus: Run Ginger! Run! Busher: GINGOOOR! Arlee: JUMP YA FONGIN’ FURBALL! Amplevoicepod make ear-film comedy drama adventures where we submerge your ears in a sea of sound, putting you at the heart of the story along with our heroes. Bursting out feature-length stories with over 40 titles and 50+ characters, all created from collaborative ideas and sculpted over months to arrive at the final mix. United Mutations is a 4-hour sci-fi podcast series by Amplevoicepod divvied up into 12 storming sections for your delectation. If you like podcast stories with atmosphere, panic and stupidity, served in high resolution audio, where you can immerse yourself into another world (and who wouldn't these days hmm?) you may just get this. A prime feast of a podcast. Not quite Ulysses 31 but just as awesome.

Gabbler (head stretches in the Wishfield): It’s not working! It’s not, I can’t… it’s- Pedup: He’s on the way to growin’ an extra head! Busher: Ah, this is useless! Tucker: Like the riddle was useless? Do you SEE where we are? Come on! Arlee: Give it the holly! Jagger: Heezzzzeee I haven’t pulled so hard since Mrs. Bruno forced me to. Tucker: Speed it up Gabbler!! Speed it up! HEAVE! Gabbler: Wait! Wait! Waaaaaaiiittt! AHHHHHHAAAAH! (Stretch speeds up to a POP!) Gabbler: AAHHHH! Pedup Bauer: The flys of ‘im. Gabbler: UMPH! Tucker: Uh!! Yes! We did it! Yes! Pedup Bauer: Askskskshh! The flies of ‘im! He got by with a little help from his friendlery, now that’s nice isn’t it. I am so dead. I may as well turn meself up to the Overlord and collect me death certificate. Arlee: Another team effort saves the day! Gabbler: I’m so glad to see youse lads again… I thought I’d never get through. Jagger: Anythin’ for a friend, fhooo… Busher: Why was it you tho’? What’s goin’ on? Gabbler: All I want to say is thanks lads, you all got me through to fight another da- (Ginger flies out of the sky and lands on Gabbler’s head) Ginger: REOORRRWWW! FSSST! FSSST! Gabbler: -aaaayy! AGGAGHH! GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF ME! Busher: PEAH! GINGER! IS IT REALLY YOU? AWWW PEAH! MY GINGER! STAY AWAY FROM MY CAT GABBLER! Ginger: Purrr purr purrrr purrrr… Arlee: Holy fong! Now that WAS unexpected. AHH! AHH! NOOOO! Busher: Would you stop that? That’s all you ever do! Ah me head this, ah me head that. Doin’ MY head in! Arlee: Shut up Busher! Tucker?! Tucker! It’s the sounds, it’s playing forwards finally, just the first bit now! “SECOND EGG! SAVAGE SECOND EGG!”  Tucker: This means something Arlee. Arlee: No shit Tucker. I’m glad you’re the one here with the brains. We must be close. Busher: I love you Ginger… Gabbler: Half me hair’s been tore out! Tucker: Shit! Wait a minute! Jagger: What’s up Tucks? Busher: Ah my baby, yeah, Neddy’s here… did they hurt you? Ah me baby peah, yeah? Tucker: Pedup! Pedup! Are ya still there? Arlee: Ask him has he seen an’ egg lyin’ around somewhere. Pedup: I am as true as I am here, yep. Tucker: Pedup, you have to stop the Gardens. If you think you’ve nothing left to lose then help us if it’s the last thing you ever do. Our friend, he must be near… you need to stop the Gardens so we can get to him quickly. Please! Help us. Busher: What are ya doin’? Pedup: Youse humanses want Pedup to do somethin’ for youse? Tucker: Yes! Pedup: Pedup Bauer has observed youse humanses and he’s fierce impressed. Yis are full of the friendlery… Akskskshshsh. Before the badness is bate out of me and me mind erased, I’ll stop these Gardenses for yis. Tucker: Oiiright! Pedup, you the, eh, you the Soupalon! Yeah! Go! Pedup: O-K- Good luck on the Trail of Bees! Pedup GONE!  Busher: He’s not going to that for us. Tucker: Well we have to hope Busher, don’t we? Jagger: Jaaaysis… Gabbler: Oh no… Arlee: Wha? Tucker: Listen… Gabbler: I don’t believe it… Arlee: That sounds like- Jagger: A voice. Arlee: Well of course it’s a voice Jagger, what else would it be? Jagger: The wind? Arlee: Sure, the wind… yeah, Jagger: Yeah, wheeezeee… yeah, I am right, that’s a voice Arlee, no messin’ Tucker: That’s Baldy and he’s got problems. Move it, follow the trail to the top. Let’s go! Jagger: We’re comin’ lad, hold on! Don’t bottle it! Huuuargh! Arlee: The Jagger-naut is rollin’ on… Narrator: The march is on to find Baldy… As Ginger flies in to be reunited with Busher… Yet, he still remains sceptical of just who is Gabbler… Meantime, Soupalon Overlord Malthus Brindle is perturbed… (Aboard Degus’s Orb) Sean: The humans are on the ‘Trail of Bees’ Overlord. Brindle: Pedup Bauer you will be terminated! Tonus: THE LAST! THE LAST! THE LAST SOOOUPERRRR! HE is HERE, AMOGNGNGNN! GRAB IT! He is the key… he is the secret… Brindle: LIE DOWEN TONUS! Tonus: Uh-ooooh... shshshhshsh, (Plop Flush)… Tonus: Uh-ooooh... shshshhshsh, he is here! Boghead: Brindle! Brindle: Boghead! Master. I- Sean, you didn’t tell- Boghead: Brindle, the task was to commence the Savage Garden experiment… Brindle: Yes Boghead, Boghead: …to finalise the bio-compound chips.  Brindle: there has been a breach; Humans. Boghead: A most welcome breach. We learn more directly from the minds of those we aim to control. Brindle: But Boghead, Dickus Soupus has brought them here, they have cut through our Gardens again and again. Boghead: Brindle! Hunt and kill Dickus Soupus. He is a traitor. Brindle: Yes, he is a traitor to all of us. Boghead: Dickus is a traitor to human fear. If Dickus will help them, he will supersede you. Hunt him. Kill him. Brindle: Yes Overlord,  Boghead: To maintain human control we must keep the mass ignorant, fearful and condemned to the lower fourth dimension. The humans on the Savage Garden have superseded this. They must never return to Earth. Boghead: Oh and Brindle… Brindle: Yes Overlord? Boghead: Behind you… Pedup: OVERLORD! Brindle: LIE DOWEN! (Scuffle ensues) Boghead: Boghead gone… (PLOP FLUSH) Pedup: Overlorderly, Overlord! Turn off the Savage Gardenery! Turn it all off! I’ve seen your snakery. Brindle: TONUS! Get the Slaggers! Immediately. Pedup: Ever since yis put the bad head on me for this job, I’ve had the visions; I see meself drivin’ meself a box in the mickey every day! And what is a mickey?? I am Soupalon but I feel half-HUMAN! Yis gave me the devilry! Bad head! I knew it once I met THEM! What have yis done with my mind? I got the visions. You gave ‘em to me! Put the bad head on me. See meself hosed down in the garden with the water and no dinner after. See the mammy bate me sideways for losin’ the bicycle in the forest after I went for a shite in the dark. What’s a bicycle? Who’s me ‘mammy’? YOU POISONED ME TO FEEL HUMAN! So before I am real dead for sure, all ways up, and youse take me, I will take away the Savage Garden! Askskskskskhhshhsh! Aw revenge for Pedup! Haahaha! I’s get me owns back on yis… Snakery bastards, askskhshsksh… Brindle: LIE DOW- (Zap Flash…) Pedup: UUUGH! Zapelry… Pedup… Gone… (collapses). Brindle: Tonus? Tonus: Life expectancy over Soupalon, mmggmgngnn, Brindle: Tonus!  Tonus: Never trust a Slagger, always trust Tonus! HENDRIX! Brindle: Pedup gone! Sean! Sean? SEAN?! Where is the navigator Sean the Degus? Tonus: Well he’s not here anyway… Brindle: GAH! Tonus, fly this orb to the Trail of Bees. NOW. Tonus: Fly it? YES OVERLORD! MOSH! Amplevoicepod make ear-film comedy drama adventures where we submerge your ears in a sea of sound, putting you at the heart of the story along with our heroes. Bursting out feature-length stories with over 40 titles and 50+ characters, all created from collaborative ideas and sculpted over months to arrive at the final mix. United Mutations is a 4-hour sci-fi podcast series by Amplevoicepod divvied up into 12 storming sections for your delectation. If you like podcast stories with atmosphere, panic and stupidity, served in high resolution audio, where you can immerse yourself into another world (and who wouldn't these days hmm?) you may just get this. A prime feast of a podcast. Not quite Ulysses 31 but just as awesome.

Busher: Peah… Pedup Bauer: Akskskskhhhsh!!! Arlee: AAAAH! Pedup: That’s far enough with yis thanks very much! Arlee: Lads, it’s another! Jagger: What is that yoke? Busher: Head like a bale of hay looka. Tucker: Here we go... Gabbler: I don’t believe it. Pedup: Howayis! Aksskskshhh! Stay still now. I have the betterin’s of yis, so no fight from ya now ya hear? Fuckin’ sure. I am Pedup Bauer, I am the Savagery! I tend to these Gardens as if they were me own, and sure they actually are anyway, akskskskshshsh! Youse have travelled far I takes it. Weary now? Time for yis to stop! How yis got past the Shylerbols and the Scorgie I na’er know the magic, but after the Garden of Futchafutcha my master’s got the want in him that I come here to meet yis at this wall.Tucker: So where are we then? Pedup: Well! Youse are now all in the WISHFIELD and this is its wall; and there in this wall; there is a door... and ahind this door; there is your answer. Gabbler: What answer? Pedup: The answer you seek. Arlee: What answer do we seek? Pedup: Sure youse should now that! It’s in your head! Arlee: In my head?, Can’t be in my head coz all I have are voices telling me about some egg here that we should reach, usin’ Busher’s moley face! Pedup: Aksksksksh! How come’s I should know what you should know? Have yis, have yis the dose what? Yis have the answer, that’s all I know. Busher: Shuttp! Peah! How do we get through this door then? Pedup: Ah fuckin’ sure, so, yeah, right; I Pedup Bauer give yis the riddle, youse work the riddlery out, makes your wish in the Wishfield; and she’ll open up quare ‘n easy and I shall let yis pass not a bother on me, swear on me Mammy’s life. Arlee: Do you even have a mammy? Pedup: I don’t know… What is a “mammy”? Ah, y’ll have to leave that one with me. Akskskskskshshsh! So do yis want to hear the riddle or what? Tucker: Well, we’ve no other choice boys what do you say? We can’t complain coz there’s no use complainin’. Running is not an option because there’s is nowhere to bloody run to. We’re gonna just have to go for it! Like always, eh Busher? Busher: Peah, no choice as ya said. Pedup: Fierce breezy out isn’t it? Arlee: Go on, give us the riddle so. Jagger: I like riddles, I’m on for this, yeah, I’ll do this-   Pedup: Aksh! Ah well done. So… are yis ready? To enter through the wall of the Wishfield you must answer my riddlery… now… now… are, are yis sure now? Yis don’t just want to give up and head off the other way for a bit do yis, hah? I don’t mind- Gabbler: Tell us the riddle!! Come on. Tucker: Do it. Jagger: Yeah, just do it… Wheeezeee! Pedup: Akskkskshshsh! Sure enough, the riddle it is! Now… now.., a-listen carefully… Here we go… now… ok… (clears phlegm): ‘Show pure love and favour, Savour this flavour, And one from four shall open the door…’ Gabbler  Show pure love and favour, savour th- Busher: Peah! What’s that supposed to mean, fucksake?! Arlee: It’s a riddle sure, stop gettin’ angry all the time will ya Busher? Just coz your confused and nervous! Go punch something and have another wank! … And not about my sister either, lord Jesus… Jagger: Ah come on Ned. Like the riddle sez; ‘show pure love’! Busher: Meh! Tucker: Do me a fava! Sayin’ sorry to someone who saved his skin is as far as Busher goes. Busher: What ya sayin’? Pedup: Ahh this is quaren good, there’ll be bloodery, bloodery at the wall! Akskskshshshsh! Gabbler: Hang on, “one from four shall open the door”, but there’s five of us! Tucker: (To himself) “Show pure love and favour, savour this flavour an’ one from four shall open the door”… Should there be somebody AT the door? Jagger: Yeah! Like to let the others in… You’re right Tucks! Yeah. Jesus, I’d have never thought of that. I’ll do that, yeah, I’ll be the one, I’m on for that. I’ll do the door. If, if that’s what I should do, like, maybe it’s the orangey alien that should do it. I don’t know. I can’t decide. Tucker: Just do it Jagga mate. I know what I am sayin’. Go on. Busher: But what do we have TO DO? Uh? Stupid riddle! Jagger: Is it alright if I have a look at the door in the wall, Mr Pedup? Pedup: Sure go on ahead with yourself, I don’t mind. Arlee: “Savour the flavour”, Savour the flavour? Like a little flavour saver below the lip, for tastin’ the shaved fong? Hahaha! ‘Ere Busher you have a little goatee beard on ya, maybe you have to ‘savour the flavour’ heheheh! Busher: Flavour Flave! Black Rappers! I was watchin’ Flava the other night and all the black rappers on it! Every hour! AHAAW HAAW! They all sound like Whitney Houston now tho’, with the tight balls. Bring back the real rappers! Peah! Busher: (Rapping) “Show pure love, show pure favour, cum oon,- sava d’ flava, sava d’ flava, HO!!! One from four gonna open the door- can I have tape of it, one from four gonna open the door! Another tape of it; one from four gonna open the door”! Ah I could’ve been Jordan in The New Kids on the Block. I could have me chest puffed out on stage with Donny, Danny, Joey n’ Jonny! Bastards! Tucker: There’s Busher showin’ pure love again! What are you like? Arlee: Pure love! That’s it, that’s it!!  Tucker: Why all this hate man? You bitter coz you were never famous? Gabbler: Yeah you should show more pure love Busher! Busher: Wha?- Tucker: He wouldn’t know how. Busher:  I fuckin’ would! I-I can, I’ve, I can, I, peah, peah, p-p-p-p-peah, Tucker: You wouldn’t know how mate! Listen I don’t care who you are or what you’ve done, but deep down your soul is pure love Busher. I don’t care if you are bitter and twisted. I don’t care if you hate everyone and are the first to criticise any effort we make, your soul IS pure love. Arlee: And you think, I, may be stretchin’ it… Tucker: No no no Arlee!! It’s true. Busher: Sure you show me how then if you know so much about it! Show pure love to me! Tucker: Oiright, I will! Gabbler: How’s he gonna do that? This is Busher we’re talkin’ about. He’d box the head off a fly. Arlee: And he WAS doin’ that earlier… Busher: Shut up you. Gabbler: See? Tucker: The problem is you Busher; you’ve become delinked from the highest level of yourself. You’re wadin’ through the depths of your lower consciousness, lost, alone, amd angry… But, I can reconnect you to your true self… Busher: Do it then! I’m waitin’! Tucker: There you go again, you’re exuding too much hatred man! To express pure love you must give up your desire to control and dominate. Arlee: Good luck with that. Busher: Show me! Peah… Tucker: Stop trying to dominate Ned. Busher: Ah, right…. Ok… S-show me how do express pure love Tucker… Please… Tucker: Oiright! Stand still! No, go on, stand still, don’t try to control and dominate, okay? Busher: Peah… fair enough… ‘kay, I’m standin’ still now. Tucker: Just relax and don’t think about control. Busher: No control… Tucker: I want you to lose control, Busher: Losin’ it now, alright… I’m losin’ it. Tucker: Close your eyes… Busher: What? Tucker: I said close your eyes… you can’t control what you can’t see… Busher: But I don’t want to close me eyes Tucker. Tucker: It’s not gonna work if you’re not gonna trust me Busher. I know that is difficult for you but that’s what it’s gotta take to show you. Are you with me Ned? Pedup: Are yis workin’ on the riddle or what? Askskskskskshhhshs, Arlee: Heheh, look at this… Close your eyes Nedward, you asked for this. Tucker: Come on. Busher: Peah, alright… but I’m watchin’ you. Tucker: Close ‘em. Busher: Peah… there… See? Closed, Tucker: Now stay still, I’m coming towards you… Gabbler: What’s he playin’ at? Busher: Phfwizzz! Me head is spinnin in the dark. I see Arlee’s sister. Tucker: It’s alright, we’re all here… you’re safe and with friends. Now keep your eyes closed… gettin’ nearer…  Busher: Okay... Tucker: That’s it… Give up your control… … Now… Do you feel that? Pedup: Ah, humanses fair confuse me so they do, but I do like it. Busher: Peah, yeah I feel that… Tucker: What is it? Busher: It’s your hand on my left shoulder… Tucker: That’s right. Now… … what’s that? Busher: Y-your hand on m-my right shoulder… Tucker: Yeah, now take away the hate, take away control… what’s left? Busher: I-I- Tucker: Yes Busher… You get pure love. (Kissing begins) Busher: Oh Tucker… Arlee: Haha! Gabbler: I-don’t-believe-it… Pedup: HAH? BITTA FUCKLERY! There’s been a physical union! Arlee: Tucker’s slapped the tongue in! Jagger: That’s not right. Is it? Can’t be… That’s sick… Ah Jesus… Arlee: Hahahahaha! Jagger: Can’t stop lookin’ though… Gettin’ a twinge in me balls! Busher:  MMGMNGGHAAAAHH! GET OFF ME YA BASTARD! Amplevoicepod make ear-film comedy drama adventures where we submerge your ears in a sea of sound, putting you at the heart of the story along with our heroes. Bursting out feature-length stories with over 40 titles and 50+ characters, all created from collaborative ideas and sculpted over months to arrive at the final mix. United Mutations is a 4-hour sci-fi podcast series by Amplevoicepod divvied up into 12 storming sections for your delectation. If you like podcast stories with atmosphere, panic and stupidity, served in high resolution audio, where you can immerse yourself into another world (and who wouldn't these days hmm?) you may just get this. A prime feast of a podcast. Not quite Ulysses 31 but just as awesome.

Brindle: There… is your answer, a brief stop off on our way back to your impending sacrifice to the Soupalon High Council. They will marvel and be not a little taken aback at how you pathetically embody human resistance to our world. And as for you pointing out my predecessors; Holtus was a vain creature. And Dickus? Well the absconding Dickus will soon be joining you, as soon as we take a moment here on the 'Savage Garden'. Baldy: 'Savage Garden' eh? Yis’ll be under the fertile earth by sundown, ya sneery bastard. Brindle: Such sharp ignorance you let slip through your yellow teeth. Here we are now. You will get to see our more experimental designs upon ‘your’ planet... Baldy: Get yer paws off me ya tool! (Door hatch opens). Brindle: Ah Tonus… Tonus: HENDRIX! Mmmnnng… Grab it grab it. WOOO! Baldy: What’s wrong witcha ya Soupalon freak? Brindle: Tonus! Behave. Tonus: Grab it grab it! Brindle: He was never fully perverted to your planet’s form of speech patterns- Baldy: Not like you then eh? Say your voice’d be a hit with our women, just like Holtus was with my ex-girlfriend, Hazel. Then you’d get the crusty lizard out and some creamy flanger would fry yis alive! Tonus: Arghgghhghhgh!!!! Grab the groin, grab the groin! Overlord Brindle, you have brought HIM! The LAD! The MAN!! His LAD! HENDRIX! He who shall lead us into the illumination! He is the one! Of all places, HENDRIX! GRAB IT! GRAB IT! To the Savage Garden, with me, Tonus! GO FOR THE WICK IN IT! FOR THE WICK IN IT! Wooo! Baldy: Hah? Brindle: Tonus, explain yourself. Ginger the Cat: Reeeor… Tonus: OOOOW! And the little furry monshtar! Haha! The little furry monshtar with the four legs. Look at him. Oooh lovely. GRAB IT GRAB IT GRAB IT! Allow me to show you Overlord... MNNNNGGG! FOR THE WICK IN IT! Ah, here, ah here, ah here, ah here, no... in a minute... in a minute, there in a minute... I’m puttin’ the make-up on... right here, yeah, ok now you can look! LOOKA! Looka! Look will ya?! Brindle: Tonus, please stop rubbing and pushing... it’s most unwelcome.  Tonus: Ooooh… Ooh, oooh, oooh, ohh, oooh… Baldy: He’s going to shoot the load n’ kill us all. Ginger the Cat: Rerrowww! Tonus: HERE! Look here! Look here! Behold, three two one... mmmnnng,  the ‘Yellow Tooth CODE’! The Yellow Tooth Code! Seeee? Touch-dowen! Baldy: A scrawny picture of some lad with some squiggly writing. Brindle: It’s our most ancient text, Baldy. Tonus: And HE is in IT! THERE! With the furry monshtar beside him looka lovely, furry monshtar, the RED BEAST, here! Look, the starchild to the right! It’s him Overlord, HIM! HENDRIX! Baldy: He’s not right in the head that lad, is he? Brindle: Sickness had marked him for one of its own. Tonus, put back that no doubt valuable copy of the ‘Yellow Tooth Code’ and stop with this nonsense. I can credit this human as being the most revolting in history but attributing him the status of the Leader of the Illumination is going far beyond stupification... Tonus: But look at the big Yellow Tooth! No other in the cosmos like it! GRAB IT GRAB IT GRAB IT! GO FOR THE WICK IN IT! GO FOR THE WICK IN IT! Guinness please... Baldy: What’s wrong with me tooth? Brindle: LIE DOWEN Tonus, LIE DOWEN before I PUT YOU DOWEN! Tonus: (Screams and runs away...) HE is HERE, HE is HERE! Woooo! Brindle: Sorry Baldy... Baldy: Fuck off. Narrator: Meanwhile, in the Ballygannorn Woods… Dickus: Catch it Spikus, catch it!               Spikus: It’s too fast! Dickus: Shuttup Spikus will ya, I have to set it! I can’t set it if you don’t catch it! She’s the bait! (Cat screeches) Spikus: I’m cold Dickus: Grow more hair then! Spikus: I’m hungry- Dickus: Will you leave me alone ya beggar! I’m tryin’ to get us lunch. It’s not easy with you there hopin’ around grabbin’ your groin. Come on fuss fuss... come on... AHHH! Gotcha! (Cat snared). Spikus: I don’t like this food. Dickus: That’s coz you eat your beard at the same time. Here we are. (Strangles cat). Spikus: Diiiickus... Dickus: Comes out same way as it goes in dunnit? Dog, cat, bird, rat, it’s all energy to keep you goin’ an’ not cakkin’ on like some old craw. Save it! Stoke up the fire, goo’lad, I’ll skin the dinner. Spikus: Diiiickus... Dickus: Spikus! If Bop could hide out in these Ballygannorn woods forever, then we can survive long enough to get what we need to get the fuck out of here! Spikus: Those words are, hhhh, bad. Dickus: I know. That’s why I like ‘em. Them words and the old trouserses are great, but that’s about it for this wretched place. Imagine them humans wanting all the time to believe in another outer-world sentient life-form? Did it ever cross there pathetic little minds that we wouldn’t want to go near these ungrateful bastards in the first place?!  Spikus: Unless we’re sent or get lost... Dickus: Spikus, we’ll be out of here soon ok. Flush the negativity! Spikus: Then what? Face death for dissertion from the Soupalon High Council? Dickus: I said leave it to me will ya. Go get sticks. We need more fire. Far t’much greasy air in this place. And here, try not to stab yourself again. Spikus: We’re going to die, either here from the rotten food, rotten atmosphere, h-h-h-h, or from the hand of whomever The Boghead sends to get us. We’re going to die like Bop, ripped apart by a big hybrid mutant- Dickus: Doom doom doom! That’s all I hear. I’m surprised you’re still as stupid as you were before! Spikus: Not funny Dickus, right? Dickus: Spikus, stop the yakkin’, it does us no good. Bop was not Dickus, and Dickus is not Bop... y’understand my lopsided hairy loon? Spikus: The Boghead, remember, our master, sent Bop here to Earth to collect information. He never came back! We were sent by The Boghead to find. H-h-h-h, Bop as our invasion was to begin, he was a liability, YOU said it would be “no problem”... Dickus: It WAS no problem! Spikus: Then he escaped, we crashed, and Bop helped the humans form a resistance! Dickus: That WAS a problem. I admit that now, yep. Spikus: We’re so dead. Dickus: I can kill you quicker now if you like! Gettin’ on me nerves Spikus, gettin’ on ‘em. Haven’t we got the bones of the shoupshuttle here? All we need is a few more bits n’ bobs from that dump of human scrap down the hillock there and we’ll be away! Spikus: You better be right Dickus. I can’t take anymore of this place, it does my head in. Dickus: I’m with you there Spikus, I think the Soupalon High Council did wrong in forming life on this planet. Soupalons like Bop and Holtus in charge, sure what do you expect? Couldn’t even “dispirit the humans into unquestioning servitude,” Waste of space... Spikus: How long did you say we’ve been here now? Dickus: About as long as the blackened hooks on the end of your feet Spikus. Come on, more traps to set. Catch that stankin’ meat! Catch it! Narrator: Meanwhile, up the mass path near Toomey’s Brook, a forestry worker waits… and waits… Jagger: Yeah, yeah, come on, you can do it, yeah... concentrate, concentrate, think of the flowin’ rivers... Go on... Ah n-no no, not Mrs Bruno, get out, I don’t want you, your husband’s a police officer... Stop touching me... Ah... I can’t do it! Heee, I can’t do it! Go on, you know you want to... but what about the pissin’? Ah leave it for now, come back later, fresher, ready to go, ok you’re right, just the one then... hihihihih... (Sparks up a doobie). Busher: (Bangs door!) Open up Jagger! Jagger! ... ... (silence)... I can see you Jagger for fucksake! (Bangs door) Stop hidin’ behind the curtains and open this door! Phwizzzzz! Jagger: Ah howaya Ned, I didn’t know it was you, I swear, I thought it was the pigs... or Mrs Bruno wantin’ the fat arse rode off her... Busher: What are ya shitin’ about? Just let me in, I have to talk to ya!!! Jagger: Wha? What ya say? Busher: Open the door Jagger!!! It’s BUSHER! BUSH-ER yeah? Jagger: Ah sorry Ned, I didn’t know it was you... hang on... Busher: (Whispers) Fuckin’ stupid hippy.... pyeah... (extended silence)... JAGGER! I’m still here yunno! I haven’t gone away,  now fuckin’ open it! Jagger: Wha? Busher: For the love of United, open the bloody DOWAR! Jagger: Ah yeah, alright Ned, calm down, it’s alright, come in... moy castle is yeah, yo-yours... n’ all.. Busher: What are ya doin’? Jagger: Wha? Busher: I said what are ya doin’? What are ya doin’? Lissen to me! Jagger: Ned, I can hear ya, don’t have to repeat yourself, do you want to roll a joint? I’ve started on a fat one. Busher: Jagger! No! No rollin’! No! The aliens are back and they’ve taken Ginger! Ginger’s gone! Jagger: Wha? Busher: Yes, she’s gone! TAKEN! ROBBED! BASTARDS! Jagger: Who’s been robbed Ned? Your mother? Busher: What did I just tell you ya sheepskin cunt?! Ginger me cat! And they took Laura too, and the gobshite Baldy... I saw the Gabbler about it and he told me to see you.., god knows fuckin’ why tho’...       Jagger: Your lips move… but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’ Ned, are ya tryin’ to freak me out? You tryin’ to get in my head? Busher: Stoppa! JAGGER! Lissen! I-know-you-are-a-fuck-head... but-this IS SERIOUS! HELLO? Jagger: Stop shoutin’ Ned will ya, I’m not deaf! What’s so ‘serious’? Busher: ALIENS! Aliens I told ya! THEM! Them Soupalon bastards have kidnapped Ginger, Laura and the Baldy idiot... Jagger: You’re at it again Ned, stop it, you’re not gettin’ in... say it, just say it, I’m ready for the truth, but first you have to let me hear it... Busher: PHWIZZZZ! MAMMAAAY! JAGGER! I’ll burst you now in a minute! PYEAH! LISSEN! Aliens...taken...Baldy...Laura...Ginger... went to GABBLER... Soupalons... are...BACK...come...here...see...the... retard... for... answers! Jagger: Calm down Ned, did you say ‘Aliens’, Soupalons are back? Baldy? Taken? Fuck me Ned, that’s serious... why didn’t you tell me? Busher: Ahhhhh... cunt! Jagger: Cunts is right! You don’t want to mess with those lads, but we have to do somethin’! Yeah, we need to go to the Tucker! Busher: Pyeah! That’s it, now you’re talkin’. Where does he live? Jagger: Right, yeah, do you want to know where he lives? I can bring you there... Busher: What’s wrong with you Jagger? Jagger: Wha? Busher: You are one dozy fuck... Take-me-to-Tucker. Jagger: Why you actin’ like that Ned? I said I would! Don’t fuck around Busher... I can see you. I know you Busher... it’s written all over your face... Busher: Shut up mad lad and take me to Tucker! Jagger: Yeah, speechless now Ned aren’t ya, no words now... (excited) I’m in your head... can you handle it? Are you ready for it Busher... I don’t think you arrrrrrrrrrrrrre... (Time slows down). Busher: Yaaaaaa fuuuuucccchhhhhinnnnn’ bbbbbooooolllloooooccchhhhsss.  Why I am I standing here talkin’ to a freakshow dressed in a sheepskin coat and big beige UGG boots! PEAH! Jagger: Woaw. Did you feel that Ned? The whole place went mad. Busher: Pyeaah! Your face warped, that was ff-f-fucked up! What’s goin’ on? TELL ME! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME JAGGER! Did you drug the fuckin’ air or wha? Jagger: It’s alright Ned, say somethin’, get it out... I’m here for ya... Busher: Am I going insane? Jagger: Ned, I have to play you some of me new music, it fuckin’ rocks, I was workin’ on it all last night and today, you’re the first one to hear it, you get the premiere! Here, right, are ya sittin’ down? Busher: Ah no! Every time. Every time I’m fuckin’ here… Jagger: Oh yeah! It’s called Beneath the Clouds of Venus... (click play). Busher: We have to go! JAGGER! Stop with that shite. Stoned eejit. We have to go to Tucker’s! Tucker’s!!! Listen to me! Jagger: What do you think Ned? Busher: Mmgg... Yeah, it’s fuckin’ brilliant! Let’s go see Tucker! Jagger: You think so? Thanks, but yeah, you’re right Ned... yeah, see Tucker, tell him the news. Come on, what are we waiting for? Busher: Oh Ginger... dear sweet beautiful Ginger... I hope I find you... 12 years on from 'first contact' gone wrong, Baldy Kendall has been snatched by the Soupalon race. Baldy’s neighbour Busher sees his own cat Ginger climb aboard the departing alien orb. Busher hates Baldy but loves Ginger. He will find her! This is a quest for Ginger the Cat. It will take Busher then Arlee, Tucker and Jagger out of their world and to the ‘Savage Garden’ of the Soupalon race. United Mutations is a 4-hour sci-fi podcast series by Amplevoicepod divvied up into 12 storming sections for your delectation. If you like podcast stories with atmosphere, panic and stupidity, served in high resolution audio, where you can immerse yourself into another world (and who wouldn't these days hmm?) you may just get this. A prime feast of a podcast. Not quite Ulysses 31 but just as awesome.

You beautiful mutants. This is for you. Cave bestiam! A sci-fi wretch. The first 20 minutes of the story of ‘Busher’, of ‘Laura’, ‘Baldy’ and of ‘Ginger the Cat’. A story of outcasts who outlast, of losers who lead, of cretins who create. This is not Sparta, this is Star Trek gone awry. Possibly better than Blake's 7, it's the United Mutations… Busher: Get out of me way! I don’t CARE! Say nartin’ to me or I’ll burst ya, Where is he... 24, 26, 28... Come on come on... Pyeah! Woolly Pierce: Nedward! You’re late for work- Busher: What do you want Woolly Pierce? Woolly Pierce: Did you just spit on the street? Busher: Leavew me alone right?! Woolly Pierce: Stop that! Busher: I won’t! Make me sure! Fuck off right! What’s it got to do witcha anyway hah? Woolly Pierce: BUSHER! Busher: Stick your job! Leave me ‘lone, right?!  Ah HERE, 30 Main Street! This is it. (Thumps fists on door)... Gabbler! Open up! Pierce: You’re nothing Busher! You’re a loser! A fool! How dare you speak to me like that, I’m a respected member of Macra Na- Busher: Gabbler! Gabbler: Is… is that you?? What do ya want? I can see you through the hole!! Has me Millenium Falcon arrived? Are you the postman? Busher: Open up! FUCK YOU! Gabbler: Fuck you too! You’re not Postman Declan! Busher: Not you, him! Pierce: Nedward! You’re fired! I’ll report you to Garda Gilbert. Busher: ROBBER! USER! Open up Gabbler, I have to see ya! Pierce: Shocking standard, you know something Busher- Gabbler: Busher? Busher: Come on Gabbler will ya, it’s important! It’s about the aliens! Gabbler: Aliens? What do YOU know about aliens? Busher: Too fuckin’ much, peah, now open the door! Fuck off Woolly Pierce! Gabbler: Alright... you better be who you say you are... (Click) Argghhh! (Busher bursts in). Busher: Close the door, lock it! Doors. Windows. What the fuck is all this Lego doin’ here? Gabbler: I collect it. Now, calm down ya felcher, calm down, stay still. Busher: They took Ginger!! GINGER! MAMMY! TAE! PATRICK! PEAH! WOOLLY JUMPERS! SPEND! MAEN! MISERABLE! VICTOR!  Gabbler: Stop it Busher, stop it! Busher: GINGER! Gabbler, GINGER!!! Phwizzz! Into the skies! A flyin’ bucket! Phwizz! GONE! MAMMY!!! SWEETS! LAURA! Gabbler: Shut up! Shut up! Busher: GONE! GONE! FLY! CHARTS! SWEETS! SPEND! SINGLES! EMMA-CAROLINE-CATHLEEN-LAURA FWIZZZZZZZZZZ!!! Gabbler: Ahhhhhhh!!!!! (Suddenly, everything speeds up, Busher’s voice, clocks spin, lights buzz) Gabbler: STOOOOP! Busher: What happened? Ah, me head. Can’t see. Gabbler: Holey Moley... Busher: It’s dark. B-b-ut, I just came here at 1pm. It’s night time... It’s night time? Gabbler? What’s goin’ on?     Gabbler: I-I don’t know... I don’t know Busher, it’s it’s... time flies hihih?? Busher: Pyeah Gabbler, tell me about the resistance. Gabbler: What resistance? Busher: The ‘resistance’ to fight the aliens twelve years ago when they took over the town with a big plastic bowl TELL ME! Gabbler: Why Busher, why? Why do you want to know? Why are you all sweaty n’ half dressed? Busher: Because they’re back! Gabbler: Back? Who’s back? Busher: Them! The fuckin’ bastards who took Ginger! Lissen to me! Gabbler: Who’s Ginger? You’re not making any sense! Busher: They, them, THEY took Laura and Baldy too! In a spaceship! Come down, peah, took ‘em out of the bathroom window and flew off into the skies, that’s who them are pyeah, will ya lissen to me ya fuckin’ idiot! Gabbler: Say that again? Who did you just say? Busher: Baldy! They took Baldy and Laura and my Ginger in their ship! An hour ago, lunchtime, earlier, before, what fuckin’ time is it anyway? Gabbler: I-I-, You, you saw this Busher? Busher: That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! Saw it ALL! Everything! They were kidnapped!(Flashback to Soupalon abduction of Laura, Baldy and Busher’s cat Ginger) Maltus Brindle: Yes! Good news for ‘Earth Lovers’, Soupalon saves! All aboard! Come on now Baldy. Busher: It’s a-it’s a- hah? Hah? ALIENS? Abduction! Maulder! Picard! RYKER! RED ALERT! Abducting Laura and the other gobshite! Ginger The Cat: Reeeor! Busher: AND GINGER! Ginger no! Wait! Hey stoppit! Yis can’t! Patrick! Mammy! No! Help! Help! Ginger! He’s... They’re takin’ ‘em! In a flying bucket! Aaahh! Trousers... ankles... GINGER! MAMMY! (/Flashback) Gabbler: (Calmly) Holy Pat Moley... Sit down Busher. Busher: Wha? Gabbler: Sit down Busher! This is serious. Busher: Wha? Whaaa… Gabbler: Sit down. I have much to tell you. Busher: Fwizzzzz.... Gabbler: If this is right what you say... Busher: It fuckin’ is too, peah! Gabbler: Then they’re back. They, Busher, are the SOUPALONS, a race of aliens from the Scutum constellation some 5 light years behind Sirius. They came on a ‘Clinkership’, to harvest humans for their own uses. They came here twelve years ago an’ it was Baldy Kendall who discovered the truth as his girlfriend at the time; Hazel was found off diddlin’ a new factory worker on the sly, so Baldy followed him to the factory… (Flashback) Baldy: Right then Gerry, you’re time is up… (/Flashback) Gabbler: an’ an’ an’ saw a spaceship, an’ an’ local factory foreman Gerry Frehley with them! (Flashback) Baldy: He wasn’t dumping something, it was worse! He was waitin’ for somethin’, and that somethin’ was a big fuckin’ alien spaceship! I’m not jokin’ lads… (/Flashback) Gabbler: The workers were drones sent to plant seed in the local girls Busher! Busher: Shite! Gabbler: No messin’. So Baldy formed a resistance, in Dessie Morgan’s Pub... (Flashback) Baldy: Can’t just stand by and let our world be taken over for whatever purposes… (/Flashback) Gabbler: With Jagger and Mauldy Jordan, Tucker Wilson, Arlee ‘the DJ’ Davidson and big Miley too... Busher: Fuckin’ losers the lot of ‘em, but Miley was good for the hash tho’. Gabbler: The breakthrough happened when Laura found the key to the alien weakness. Vaginal cream! She unwittingly had sex with one of the drones- Busher: Phwizzzz! Lovely Laura saves the day! AHAWW AHAWW! Gabbler: -in their attempt to inseminate her, they got cremated on the spot by her hot flanger! Hihihihih. (Flashback) (Drone worker exploding) Mauldy: Sick! He exploded! (/flashback) Gabbler: ...so armed with the creams from Tierney’s Pharmacy they joined up with Norman Tash, local teacher and sports trainer... Busher: I hated him. Never gave me any support in the team... ‘Bring the gear Wednesday, we’re playin’ Annamoe’. No Tash, I won’t! Peah! He always tried to spin me round in the showers and slip it ferociously between the cheeks of me arse.  Gabbler: He did not! Busher: He fuckin’ did; ‘Busher’! He said… ‘Busher! Always keep your hole clear! A clean hole is the way to goal! Clear it with the finger boy! Clear it! Futchafutcha’! He was always at me! Gabbler: Well he never touched me. Busher: Count yourself lucky so, Gabbler: What’s wrong with me? Busher: Hah?- Maybe he just didn’t like you Gabbler! Gabbler: Am I ugly or somethin’? Is my arse not as good as everyone else’s? Busher: That’s coz the shit comes out of your MOUTH most of the time. AHAAW HAAWW! Gabbler: Anyway! Sort of gone off the topic right? So, as I was sayin’ the resistance had the secret weapon; ‘vaginal cream’. But the aliens too had a new weapon, a local tool called Lilo McGregor.... Busher: Lilo McGregor!? Sure he was my next door neighbour. He was some dose of shite... big freckly head and the foghorn voice! No wonder he disappeared around that time. Peah. I thought he just went off to find himself, as he was some lost cunt in those days. Gabbler: Sure they abducted him! Used their technology and created a metal motormouth from him... You could hear his boom for acres and acres. Shockin’! So to fight this right, the new wave resistance teamed up with Baldy’s new mentor ‘Bop’. Busher: Mmm Bop? Now who was he? Gabbler: He was a hermit out of Ballygannorn Woods. Some say he was the first of their lot here to examine us... He must’ve changed sides halfway through tho’, gone over to the other team like... saw the lure of what was really right and true and the right thing to do at the time... I don’t know tho’... Busher: Traitor! User! Turncoat! Liar! Fwizzzz! Hate them all! Gabbler: But Busher, he helped the resistance train up to fight the aliens! Busher: Don’t care! Don’t cayor! Gabbler: Then right, then in the Ratchly Chemical Factory, there was a big venture to a clearing and they bate shite out of each other until the aliens left. Busher: Horray! Pyeaaah! Great charts! Gabbler: But there were casualties... Mauldy was dead... Lilo McGregor, his mother Etna- Busher: Bitch... Gabbler: all destroyed... Busher: Good enough for them. But, but, how did you find all this out, were YOU part of the resistance? Gabbler: Sorry Busher, a journalist never gives out his sources. Busher: But you’re not a journalist, you’re an unemployed conspiracy theorist! How are you able to write all about this stuff n’ know all the details? And how can you still afford Star Wars Lego? Gabbler: That’s not important Busher! Your information means that the aliens are back and they are planning something... Busher: What tho’ what?! Gabbler: What indeed... You have to go see Tucker, Arlee or Jagger, they still survive, I hope. Maybe these Soupalons are looking for them... you’d better be quick! Busher: I don’t care who tells me what or if any of this is even true, and I’m having one mother of a trip right now but, I need to get Ginger back! I LOVE HER! SHE’S MY BEST FRIEND! Gabbler, tell me, where do they live? Gabbler: Jagger lives up the Mass Path near Toomy’s Brook, past Spruce Way... And don’t forget to say that I sent yis! (Door opens). Good Luck! Busher: Pyeah fucksake... (Door Closes). Fucksake… Gabbler: (Click, rewind FX... play part of Busher’s speech, click stop.) This is it Gabbler! This is it! This is the big supa SCOOP! 12 years on from 'first contact' gone wrong, Baldy Kendall has been snatched by the Soupalon race. Baldy’s neighbour Busher sees his own cat Ginger climb aboard the departing alien orb. Busher hates Baldy but loves Ginger. He will find her! This is a quest for Ginger the Cat. It will take Busher then Arlee, Tucker and Jagger out of their world and to the ‘Savage Garden’ of the Soupalon race. United Mutations is a 4-hour sci-fi podcast series by Amplevoicepod divvied up into 12 storming sections for your delectation. If you like podcast stories with atmosphere, panic and stupidity, served in high resolution audio, where you can immerse yourself into another world (and who wouldn't these days hmm?) you may just get this. A prime feast of a podcast. Not quite Ulysses 31 but just as awesome.

The Gerbil: Hello. This is a story about a friend I helped guide, while never leaving his side. We were in Cork, Ireland. It was August 22nd 1922. A wet cold summer’s afternoon had a red-haired naked bearded man, taking a trip with his wooden lunch box… (Falling down hillside) Holmes: Ah! Uff. Fuck yis! Bad brains! Bad brains! Fuck yis. Ah look it, the knees are tore off us.  Can’t go more. Stop it. No. (Hinge of bread basket opens) The Gerbil: But we must. Holmes: No! The Gerbil: Tick tock! We have work to do! Holmes: Akskshsh! Sure look at me! I’m in the rags and only the dirt to keep me warm! The Gerbil: Shut up! Holmes: But, but, it’s been a quaren long time. They might be chasing us! The Gerbil: I’m sure ‘they’ are not. Holmes: How do you know sure? The Gerbil: Trust us. Holmes: But, yis don’t know where we are and what we’re supposed to be doin’! The Gerbil: We do. Concentrate! Or we forget things… Holmes: Hah? Am... I... Mad in the head? Is that what you’re sayin’? Am I mad in the head or what? The Gerbil: Just move! Holmes: Ah curse a god on it! Akshsksh! Quick. (Hinge of bread basket closes) (Starts running) Voiceover: A&M presents… An A&M production… Mental Holmes. Featuring Tomathy Wilson, Seamus Byrnie, Gwen Brindle and Stanton Pulvertuft. Including Eleanora Wilson, Davey Maybury, and Mr. Norman Tash. Holmes: Ooh! Looka! There be some houses down there. If yis leave the forest yis may be seen, but sure, if yis stay here; forest’ll ate us with the worms in me head n’ all. Gone! Here no more! Ah fuck it! Come on so! Follow me! (Jumps over a fence) Holmes: Right, careful now you. Like an adder in the glades… Ooh! Man-clothes on a washin’ line. That be ours now thanks, heheheh… Boots! And a coat too! Hah? Who leaves boots on the back porch…Yis’d be stupid to do that, sure they’d be stolen! Heheh, they’ll fit lovely too and no bother… Akskskskskhh! Quick! Don’t be an eejit! Put them on and let’s get goin’, are, are, are yis Madden the Head or what?? Come on! Jump over the fence will yis!!! (Jumps over a fence) Holmes: Come on! Around here… this way… Policeman: Excuse me sir. Holmes: Aah! Policemanses. How’d he get there?! Ah that’s it so, the games gone… Bad brains! Raise up the hands, no! no! Keep the hands in the pockets… slowly now… smile, smile at the nice policemanses so he may - not - bate - us. Policeman: Sir? Sir? Holmes: Hands - in - the - pocketses… Policeman: Sir? Can you hear me? Holmes: Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Very fuckin’ sorry. I didn’t know what was goin’ on and I just ran… ran away. That’s all. I swear! Oooh, what’s this now (fiddles in pocket)... Policeman: What is your name sir? Holmes: Looka! It’s a… it’s a… eh… Here ya go Sir… (cough)… (Card rustle as Policeman looks at the it) Policeman: This is your card sir? Your name is Aubrey Holmes is it? Holmes: Eh, well, sure as God it is an’ all yep, listen now, I know. I know. And I’m, I’m very sorry for what I have done. Policeman: That’s perfectly fine sir. You can’t be too careful these days? Holmes: Scuse me? Policeman: It is of course natural to be in a state of shock after seeing such a gruesome scene as this; anyone would be struggling to find words. And what with the current situation down here… well, it’s fully understandable sir. Holmes: Yes. That. Be. Right. Policeman: If you ask me I’m not sure we have the resources to deal with such a, forgive me for saying, insignificance, of a young murdered woman. Holmes: A woman? There’s been bloodery? Policeman: Thank you for your time Sir. Riordan! Riordan! We must report back to General Dalton at the Railway Station. Bloody irregulars, making it hard for everyone… Policeman: They’ve found a Thompson gun at Sullivan’s Quay. Under some blankets they said! Holmes: What’s goin’ on? He didn’t put the moves on us… I’m still freeborn! Askskskshshskkshh! Policeman: Ah! Mr Holmes? Mr Holmes?! Holmes: Curse a fuck. He’s copped on. That’s us fuckin’ done. Policeman: I’m sorry. Your card… I think we can rule you out sir. Holmes: Excuse me Mr Policeman, I, I’ll be back in a minute. Policeman: Of course, I shall not keep you, good day sir. Holmes: (Hinge opens) Wha’ WAS that? The Gerbil: We played that very well. Holmes: He was a polis-man. The Gerbil: Correct. Now stop drawing attention. Get us out of here. Holmes: No fear o’ that not happenin’. Looks like there’s been slaughter of the innocents. Not stickin’ around for that. The Gerbil: Exactly… Move! We are behind! The Gerbil: And there we were… My friend had found a good suit and boots to wear, had shown sufficient identification to the city policeman and we were now ready to move on. We were behind. But in front of us lay a slippery path. There was revolution in the air, confusion around, and a dead young woman on the ground. (Photographer snaps shots of dead body) Passerby: Oh God! Davey Maybury: Examiner! Comin’ through, coming through. Take a shot there Miley. Two slates. Officer! Davey Maybury from the Examiner, what’s the comment? Another lady’s slipper placed in the right hand of the victim. ‘Jim The Slipper’ strikes again? Make sure you get a good shot of ‘er Miley. (Photographer snaps shot) Davey Maybury: At last, a bit of work for meself wha? Tomathy: Tsk, tsk, oh  just lamentable. I mean. Terrible. She must have succumbed in most direful circumstance. The wretch. How many more? You… hmm… well would you look… isn’t that the most damned-est thing… It’s my… my-my… Eh, so if we are finished here officer I have other matters… to. Policeman: Of course Mr Wilson, we are done here. Tomathy: I hope you catch the brute, I mean… it’s the third one.  Policeman: He shan’t get far this time Mr Wilson. If we don’t get him, the army surely will. They’re already at the port and rail stations! Tomathy: Excellent! Let’s hope so. Good luck to you! (Bulb flashes) Passerby: Who was she lads? Was she nice? Ah the Big Fella will save the day sure. He’s the only man. Passerby: Ah look! Albert Lyons wants to get up on a dead one! Ha! He’d get up on a heifer sure. Holmes: Listen, no, listen, stop talkin’! Are youse sayin’ I’m mad in the head again? The Gerbil: Shut up. Someone’s coming. Tomathy: I say good fellow, how goes it? Terrible tragedy here ay? Holmes: Hah? (Hinge slams shut) Tomathy: I said; ‘terrible tragedy’? Holmes: I know, I’m very fuckin’ sorry. Tomathy: Yes, I’m sure you are. She was a seamstress working for Mrs Cotter on Patrick Street. Had her whole life in front of her. Holmes: Yeah. Sure that’s it n’ all now. Tomathy: I’m awfully sorry to intrude on you in such circumstances, normally one should keep one to oneself and all that, but, but all these killings do ruffle one’s feathers you know. Holmes: Feathers? Tomathy: Yes, feathers. You are not from around here are you? Holmes: No. Tomathy: Must be from the capital by the cut of your cloth ay?! Holmes: City, y-yes, that.... is. Yep. Tomathy: Ah I knew it! A solicitor too I suspect? Holmes: Ahp, that’s right, I’m here solicitin’. Solicitin’ all around and everywhere. Tomathy: Remarkable! My powers of deduction are rapier sharp. I am a solicitor too you see. I could tell by your fashion sir. Holmes: Yep, that’s right. I am the fashion. Tomathy: Eh tell me good fellow, have beards and long hair really come back in? I haven’t seen one like yours since the Crimea. It’s all clean shaves and moustaches down here you know. Holmes: Yep. Tomathy: Amazing, amazing, tell me if I may be so bold as to ask; where could I obtain such clothes as you possess sir? Holmes: In a shop. Tomathy: Ah, yes, keeping the name close to your chest ay? Must be an excellent tailor, very prudent. Give nothing away. That’s it. Holmes: Excuse me. Tomathy: Yes, yes of course, by all means. (Hinge of bread basket) Holmes: What’s goin’ on? The Gerbil: Well we may as well talk to the man, now that he’s befriended us. Be careful. Remember, cautious ma precious. We’re still behind!! Holmes: Ok. (Hinge of bread basket) Holmes: Back now. Tomathy: You know it’s been completely rude and remiss of me but I didn’t do you the courtesy of telling you my name. I am Tomathy Wilson, legal partner at Pulvertuft & Wilson. Holmes: Hello. I am Aubrey… Tomathy: Delighted to meet you Aubrey. Holmes: I am Aubrey Holmes. Tomathy: Ah, yes, Aubrey Holmes. Delighted. So Mr Aubrey Holmes, who do you think did this ghastly thing? Paper says it’s Jim the Slipper! Holmes: Jim the Slipperses? Tomathy: Yes, there’s been a spate of killings of women here in the last month. A purple velvet slipper is placed in the right hand of the woman. See? You see here? The deceased’s arm outstretched above her bludgeoned head? Everyone is afraid to leave their doors open at night, never mind the risk of shots from an irregular’s rifle! Holmes: Bloodery. Tomathy: I know it’s shocking. Holmes: Jim the Slipper? He must have some cock on him. Tomathy: Eh… well, come to think of it, eh, yes, maybe, eh I suppose he must be, criminally insane? You know, I have a theory… Holmes: Excuse me again… Tomathy: Oh, certainly Aubrey, please- (Hinge of bread basket) Holmes: This man is makin’ us nervous, his wordseses are like bullets... The Gerbil: Relax, he thinks we are Aubrey Holmes, whoever he is. Get information. It will come in useful. Holmes: But… about what…? The Gerbil: We are behind. Go! Ask him about his theory… Holmes: Ah, Ok. (Hinge of bread basket) Holmes: Back now. Eh, what is your theory Mr.. eh… Tomathy: Tomathy, Tomathy Wilson, of Pulvertuft & Wilson! Well I’d be glad to share it with you. Holmes: Share it so. Tomathy: Yes, I know what you mean, us legal types must stay together what? Holmes: Yes. Tell me. Tomathy: You know what, I have an excellent idea, I live just on Rathdrum Street here, would you do me the satisfaction of accompanying me to my home? We can sit and smoke and I can share my thoughts with you. Holmes: Ehm. Tomathy: I have a sixpence of WJ Shinkwin’s prime snuff! Holmes: Excuse me Tomathy Wilson of Pulvertuft & Wilson. Tomathy: Oh I’m terribly sorry, have I been too forward? I sort of sprang that on you. Holmes: Gurnp.. Tomathy: Gosh. You look bemused. Please forgive me. My wife will prepare us some of Mrs Murphyarty’s best cupcakes and scones if, if that would seal the deal? Mmm? Holmes: Back soon. Tomathy: Of course… you must have time to think it over. (Gun discharging in the distance) Tomathy:  (To himself) Mm, that doesn’t sound too far away… I hope the boys in green know what they’re doing… Sigh. (Whistle idly)… Holmes: (Distant) Fuck yis! Tomathy: (Whistles) What, IS he doing… Hmm, I must tell Stanton about this fellow… Holmes: Yes. Tomathy: What old boy mm? Holmes: Yes. Tomathy: Oh, oh yes? You mean… Yes? Oh Yes! Yes, yes excellent! Holmes: Yes. Tomathy: Cupcakes and scones it is! Excellent, this way… you know my good man, a good conversational partner is hard to find these days. Please this way… Holmes: Ok. Tomathy: Forgive me for saying this Aubrey, I hope you don’t mind but I can’t help notice that large wooden box you are carrying under your arm. What… eh… Holmes: Hah? Oh, it’s, it’s a lunchbox. Yes. L-lunchbox… For the sang-wedgers! Tomathy: You know I’ve heard about these, you city boys with your new fads! Better for the freshness yes? Holmes: Fresh sangwedgers. Yes. The sangers don’t sour in the bread box. In there. Yes. Fresh. Fresh fuckerses akskskshshsh!!! Tomathy: Yes, I suppose so! Amazing… Ah, here we are, I’ll just see if my good lady is at home… (Opens front door) Tomathy: Eleanora? Mental Holmes I is an Amplevoicepod ear-film. Time to travel to Cork, Ireland in 1922 and meet a mysterious man clutching a wooden lunch-box to his ear. There’s been a murder. Attorney-at-law Tomathy Wilson fancies his detection delectation to identify the perpetrator and sow it all up. Until he sees a man with a wooden lunchbox wearing Tomathy's best suit (stolen off his washing line), at the scene of the crime! From there on in, things begin to unwittingly unravel via a variety of clues left by Stanton Pulvertuft, Eleanora Wilson, Mr. Tash at 'Ladies Underclothing', Seamus Byrnie and Mrs Brindle. Come hither 'til we enter the world of the 'Gerbil' and fling open the doors of 'Mental Holmes'. Don’t forget to bring the hang sangidges! The weird & winning, 72 minute audio adventure podcast that redefines how special podcasts can be… Amplevoicepod make ear-film comedy drama adventures where we submerge your ears in a sea of sound, putting you at the heart of the story along with our heroes. Bursting out feature-length stories with over 40 titles and 50+ characters, all created from collaborative ideas and sculpted over months to arrive at the final mix. Amplevoicepod is the Voice of Pod, we can't just sit around a microphone and talk about the latest cultural thing on our minds! Oh no! We exist in glorious isolation, bringing you unique and original stories with our shows. It's big, it's bold, it's podcasting done right.

George: Cash was paid. The lurid Tash is to be laid. Or so he believes as the 'science building annex 3 room 2' is the deflowering destination. Come the morrow, UCLS provost Broadleaf O’Hara sits fretfully in Crawton Hall, awaiting the town council vote on Al-Fajar’s rezone-er-ing. (Crowd murmur in hall) Broadleaf: Healthy turn out Mr Tash don’t you think? Tash: …ehm what Broadleaf? Broadleaf: I know, I know, I’m so nervous too truth be told. Tash: Nervous? Broadleaf: The town council votes will be in and we will soon hear if Mehfooz Alfajar won the tender for the Parnell Park site. Tash: Oh yis that… yis, yis of course. Broadleaf: Are you with me Norman? Tash: I’m sorry? Mnnn? What? Broadleaf: What’s with you Norman? You seem miles away, I’m beginning to wonder where your allegiances are these days. Tash: You think I’m trying to stab you in the back? Broadleaf: What? No, no! I never said that. Tash: I’m not trying to stab you in the back, in fact I am right behind you. Broadleaf: Glad to hear it Norman. We’ve a lot to lose if Mehfooz gets his way and the boundary change is upheld. Keith: Quite the gathering Provost O’Hara. I hope we have good news to offer the hordes. Broadleaf: What did you say? Ace: A drink sirs? We have some green tea, water, or if you wish, some wine? Keith: Oh, it’s the prince of neck accessories. I’ll have a white wine. Tash: I hope you learn something from tonight Ace… Ace: I hope so sir. Water for you? Tash: Thank you. Where’s Floyd and Raymond? Ace: Eh, Floyd is taking in the coats and Raymond is sorting out the left handed jackets from the right handed ones. Tash: I see. Good. Keith: (Snigger) Bastard… Broadleaf: Ok, let’s begin. (Switch on microphone) Broadleaf: Testing, testing, 1,2,3… George: At that very samely time, at the very largely big entrance gates. Floyd: You ready Bubbles. Brian: I think so. I hope she comes. Dick: Jesus, well I hope so too, you paid enough for her… I bet she bucks ya straight off her! Floyd: You got your cassette player? Brian: Yep. Dick: Wassat for? Brian: Candy girl. Dick: Is that her name? Very strange name that is. Floyd: No, he wants to have sex with the earphones on and listen to some Brian: ♫ Candy Girl♫ You rock my world! ♫ Do-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do! Dick: Oh well, it’s his show… Floyd: Psst, Dick, ok, I got to get back to the Admin Hall, ring me and let me know when the Eagle has landed and I’ll let you know when the old Buzzard is on his way. Dick: 10-4, 8.30, Legs at 10 and 2, all boosters primed my friend. Floyd: And remember what we spoke about at lunchtime today? Later boys. Hey, nice new jacket by the way Dick… Dick: Cheers matey… Brian: Uhuh, bye… Dick: A few Lego men short of a town is this lad. Brian: Whatcha say? (Sneeze) George: Candy Girl? Doesn’t rock my world. Nevermind, back to the nervous hands of Broadleaf at the com-mit-tee meeting! Broadleaf: So what can we do as the formal minds of education to get more involved in the University Council’s decision making process? Heckler # 1 (Bali): What about the town council vote?? When do we hear? Broadleaf: Ahem… Yes, yes, quite soon. In the next while there should be representatives arriving. Heckler # 1 (Bali): What will you do if you must hand over the arts building to the new developers of Parnell Park?! Broadleaf: Yeah, yeah, well allow me to break off from this topic for a moment… Ace: Where were you? Floyd: Out with Dick and Bubbles at the gate. She should be here soon. Dick’s gonna open the room for ‘em. How’s Tash lookin’? Ace: Like he’s just about to calve it. Sitting up there like a prize tulip man you wanna- Floyd: Tallyho so brother! Broadleaf: …robberies, yes robberies, it’s a sad state of affairs when your University is home to thieves and wickedness. Yesterday €5000 Euro was stolen from my office when someone found their little way into the office and interfered with the petty cash box. Ace: Wait a second… Broadleaf: It breaks my heart to think that people will stoop so low… Ace: You didn’t… Floyd: Mmm? Keith: Another wine Ace please…. Ace: …eh, here sir… You! Floyd: Sssh, listen to the man… Ace: Yeah, you, ya fuc- George: Well! Broadleaf O’Hara starts the fight against literally losing his plot. While Ace’s suspicions become aroused. But wait! Mr. Dick is hard and stiff at the front gates. Dick: Stand to attention young chubbler, Brian: It’s Bubbles. Dick: Time to brace the main sail, coz there be a bitch ahoy! Brian: Hi Brenda. Brenda: Hey Bubbles. Solicitor: Ah Brian, good to see you. And you must be? Dick: Eh, the ‘overseer’… N-not like I’ll be lookin’ or anythin’, unf, I’m the man with the keys and makin’ sure all is eh, like, eh, heh it runs smoothly for the safety of the two young… eh… (whistles). Solicitor: Very well. I wish you all good night. Brenda, it was an experience working for you. Best of luck then. Dick: Ok then young Cupids, follow me to the science building where you shall start your experiments… Follow me! Together: Follow, follow, follow, follow- Dick: Follow the yellow toof road! Follow, follow, follow, foll- Baldy: ‘Ere Dick, you talkin’ about me are ya? Dick: What? Eh? Must have been the wind…          George: And good luck to them! With arms outstretched, Broadleaf waits to welcome the Loughfeg Town Councillors. Broadleaf: Well yes, should we get the decision on our side, then we will move forward with our plan for further development of University grounds and essential departmental procurement. Heckler # 2 (Hefese): And will Long Term Loan Credit bank give you funding if such an outcome is not forthcoming Mr O’Hara? Nigel: Busher! Busher! Busher! You tell ‘em Busher! Broadleaf: No! No! No! Listen! Listen! Nigel: You go up there and tell them how it’s fuckin’… Yeah! Shlioler: I’m livin’ in a small house with six-and-a-half children! And I can’t move, I can’t swing a cat in it, and we’ve been on to the council for ages for a bigger house. We can’t get out of it! What are you going to do about it?! Broadleaf: Listen! Shlioler: What are you gonna do about it?! My Larry went off and left me. He left me. Heckler #1 (Bali): Parnell Park! Keith: Look at him, like a second hand Jesus on the cross ready for the end… Tash: What? Keith: Worried that your watch might stop if you stop looking at it Norman? Tash: Sorry Mr Keith, you must excuse me… Keith: Of course… but looks like you’ll miss the action, here come the town council cavalry. Floyd: (On phone) Hey, Dick, Dick? Tash is on his way. Ace: You are a fucking thief! Floyd: What? I didn’t take the money… don’t be stupid, I was in class with you remember? (Floyd’s mobile rings) Floyd: Aw shit… Yeah? Dick: The Eagle has landed, echo-fella-one, Roger Daltry, Wilco… Floyd: Yeah, let ‘em settle in Dick, Tash is on his way to spruce up the sprouts. ETA: 10 minutes. Dick: Eh over and around again… (phone clicks off) Broadleaf: Councillors, councillors, please, here, yes, please sit down… Keith: Waiting for Godot… god save me… What’s this? Little man moves to the front… Mehfooz: Please, please, Ladies and Gentlemen, Councillors and Provost O’Hara, may I take the podium? Broadleaf: Well, em… Mehfooz: Thank you sir. George: Meantimewhile, at the science block; Brian: (Coughs) Dick: Right! Here yis go… I’ll keep the hall lights on okay? Brian:  (Wheeze, inhale), Thanks Dick. Dick: Pleasure’s mine, enjoooooy! (Closes door) Brian: (Breathes heavily) Brenda: I’m here Bubbles… Brian:  I-I-I… Brenda: Shhh, come here… Brian: Okay… Brenda: You want to take all my clothes off? Brian: (Gulp)… Tes… Brenda: I’m yours… Brian: (Tokes on inhaler) George: Yuck! Pyeah! I need to wash out my ears back at Finny’s bar; (Finny’s Bar, incessant gaming noises) Finny: Are you speaking to me yet? Pavla: No. Finny: That’s better, here Baldy, will you shut up that shite! Baldy: I’m winnin’! I’m winnin’! Highest score comin’ up, can’t me stop now. Historical milestone. Finny: I’m standing here seriously toying with the idea of killing you. Baldy: Well I’m killin’ thousands here! It’s a massacre! I can’t believe I’m winnin’! George: No time to lose, what’s the news with Mehfooz?! Mehfooz: Thank you ladies and gentlemen and members of the town council. We sit here today on the edge of a new era of change in Loughfeg State. The old is cast aside replaced by the new…. When two new spheres of influence come together it promotes teamwork and intense bonding! (Science building) Brenda: That’s it Bubbles… take them down… Bubbles: Awww, hih, ushff, fffssh, hoh hoh hoh! Aww, ffhshs, aw, I’ve got a stalker… Brenda: My god! Bubbles: Awwwwffssshih. George: Dear God! Where then, is Norman Tash? (Office toilet) Tash: Why do I sweat so much? This is appalling. Pull my socks up. Good. Armani looks good. Right… Breathe in Norman! To the Science block. Claim virgin territory! (Door slams) Mehfooz: Let me be the first one to announce the news from the town council that my consortium for the tender of the development of Parnell Park and Loughfeg boundary change has been SUCCESSFUL!!! Nigel: Busher! Broadleaf: No!!!!! (Uproar) Keith: Oh crap. Mehfooz: Thank you, thank you, yes, very much, ah thank you. Thank you, not at all, not at all, thank you. Heckler # 3: It’s a sham! Floyd: Sounds heavy. Ace: I hope it doesn’t disturb young Ying and Yang across the block. Floyd: He won’t hear a thing. Ace: Why? Aaawh yeah…. (Science building) Brenda: You look masterful mighty standing there! Brian: I am the WWF Inseminator! Brenda: Eh, Bubbles, what are you doing? Brian: It’s my cassette player. Brenda: …and? Brian: It’s my fantasy, I want to go inside you with Candy girl. (echo of Dick’s sick laughing and coughing) Brenda: Eh, ok… if it’s your fantasy… Brian: Yes! It is! CANDY GIRL! Brenda: Oh my god! Brian: Errrffffmmmargh! C-aaaiiindy guuurrllluu-uh-uhh… (Back in Committee) Floyd: I mean if it was my thing I’d want to hear her scream, yeah, but hey, earphones or not, it’s not my money! Ace: Because you STOLE it! Floyd: You are over-reacting. Broadleaf: This is crazy, you can’t make this decision. Mehfooz: Leave it be Broadleaf. Broadleaf: You want to ruin this town, isn’t that right Mr Keith? Keith: What? Me? Ehm? Heckler #4: What about the fucking football team hah? What about the team? What about my young lad, what about young Tighe hah? He needs to play ball. Heckler # 5: What now for the funding Mr Keith?? What will happen to the football team funding? Keith: How should I know? That’s Mr. Tash’s area of expertise, I-I… Heckler # 6: Answer the question Chiselton come on! Heckler # 7: Yeah, anser the question! You’re the outings co-ordinator which covers the away day expenses!!! Mehfooz: Calm down Broadleaf, it is done. It is done sir. That is it. Broadleaf: Done you say? DONE? I’ll do YOU! Right, funding cut backs start here! Keith: Listen, it’s not a question of rash answers, we need to focus. Heckler # 3: You can focus on my fat lad! My son depends on that team Mr Keith… Keith: Of course… I understand, but… Broadleaf: Cut backs so! Cut the WATER! Cut the GAS! Cut the SALARIES mmmggfff, CUT THE ELECTRICITYYY!!!! (Pull of the main switch in the hall…) Floyd: Darkness has descended. Hecklers: Hey! Hey! Ya bollocks! Come back here! Hey! Keith: Mmm, get out of here… Ace: Let’s do the same… Floyd: I’m right with you Captain… (Science block) Tash: Typical! Blackout! I can’t see where I am… ok… annex two is that way so annex three is this way…. (On the way to science block) Keith: Get in the car, drive away, go home, have some Chablis and start applying to colleges in the morning… yes… Ace: Floyd… he’s heading to the annex… Floyd: Follow that nutty Professor. (In Room 2)    Brenda: Oh Bubbles! This feels so wonderful! And you can’t hear me! (Giggles) Brian: ♫ ooh yeah ♫ Candy! ♫ Girl! Uhhh. Brenda: (Giggles) (Back in committee) Mehfooz: Don’t panic! Do not panic! We will have order restored as soon as I find the switch. (In the hallway)           Tash: Hellooooo? Come out young lady Brendaaaaa? Pssst it’s me! Mr. Tash, Meeester Taaash… (Hears giggling) Tash: Ah-ha! Yis yis, I will take her by surprise, and naked too. Take her! Rrraaarrr! Off with everything Mr Tash! Yis yis! Oh yes, hoo hoo! She will be not ready for me! Keith: …eh? What is that? Norman? Is that you? Ace: Oh shit… he’s goin’ straight for the… (Door lashes open) Tash: SURPRISE! I have you now…. (sound of bodies jumping on top) Brenda: AAAAGGGHH! Brian: OOOFFFF! Tash: YIS! You fleshy fuckbucket, mmm, your soft downy skin! Brenda: HELP! Tash: Don’t fight it Brenda! Brian: Get off me! Tash: Don’t fight it! Brian: Get off! Keith: NORMAN? Tash: KEITH! Brenda: DADDY? Keith: SINEAD? Mehfooz: Power back on! (sound of electricity mains) Brenda/Sinead: Daddy! Tash: Jesus- Ace: Christ. Brian:  Get off me ya sick pervert! Sinead / Brenda: Daddy! I, Oh my god! Keith: YOU BAAAASTARDS!!!! Floyd: Woah! It’s Keith’s daughter?! Dick: (Jumps out of a cupboard) Hargh! It’s pure fuckin’ gold, gold I tells ya! Fuckin’ faces on the lot of yis!! And I have it all recorded on me new camcorder!!! Big triple decker sandwich with teachers ridin’ pupils n’ daughters,I tell ya, it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen! (Note: 8 minutes of outtakes follow credits) U.C.L.S. I - An ear-film adventure by Amplevoicepod. The story of Floyd Frisbane, Accursis 'Ace' Byrne and Brian 'Bubbles' Waterbury, after meeting each other on the first day at University College Loughfeg State. It's a time for moral advancement as they bond when trying to procure a virgin for Brian over the internet. They must be careful not to rouse the attention of teacher Norman Tash who himself is intent on straightening this trio out. Science professor Keith, meanwhile, is annually dismayed at the sheer stupidity of the year's intake and is contemptuous of Provost Broadleaf O'Hara as he struggles to keep Loughfeg State University afloat. Janitor Dick Soupe is barely holding the buildings and himself together as he tries to help the new enrollees integrate. On Loughfeg's main street, Finny and Pavla trade insults as they helm Finny's bar while attempting to avoid catching the red eyes of resident comic-lover barfly Baldy Kendall and U.C.L.S computer teacher Ciaran Brennan. Amplevoicepod creates original explicit storytelling. We make HD audio podcasts to sternly tongue your earhole. We try not to follow others, don't cross the easy fields and have lived in blissful ignorance across millennia. We make ear-film adventures. Full effects-laden audio productions with plots, characters and immersive sounds. It takes about 80 hours of production in writing, recording and editing to make 1 hour of output. We take lumps out of each other as we sculpt our latest mutation. To relax we switch on the mics, open our lungs and bellow out a 2-hour rock show playing the best music dug up on a Friday. Tautologically titled 'The Friday Rock Show' it's just us and a few listener letters, which we lovingly read out on air. It's DJ Adgeen Byrne and producer Tony Wilson spitting and sparring to send you into sonic convulsions. Started in 1987, this saga has continued down through the ages with over 500 stories read out on air, from a wide variety of intriguingly demented souls. Our feature-length stories now streaming: Timefiddler, Mount Pheasant I, Mount Pheasant II, The Adrian & Tony Radio Show I & II, University College Loughfeg State (UCLS I) and coming soon: UCLS II & III, Mental Holmes I, II & III, United Mutations I, II & III and Panspermia I, II & III. 100s of hours of explicit storytelling await you. Streaming our oddcast now on all good audiophilic emporia.

On the January 17, 2019 episode of /Film Daily, /Film editor in chief Peter Sciretta is joined by /Film managing editor Jacob Hall, weekend editor Brad Oman, senior writer Ben Pearson, and writers Hoai-Tran Bui and Chris Evangelista to decide the most anticipated new tv shows of 2019. You can subscribe to /Film Daily on iTunes, Google Play, Overcast, Spotify and all the popular podcast apps (here is the RSS URL if you need it). Opening Banter: Brad gives his opinion on Jason Reitman's Ghostbusters sequel. Our Feature Presentation:The /Film team meets in the virtual writer's room to try to come up with the top 25 most anticipated new television shows of 2019, from the already narrowed down list (please note that the notes are what we scribled down before this meeting and are a combination of official plot synopsis and info from imdb):   The Mandalorian (Disney+, late 2019) first star wars live-action tv series producer Jon Favreau directors Dave Filoni, Deborah Chow (Better Call Saul), Rick Famuyiwa, Bryce Dallas Howard and Taika Waititi “The Mandalorian is set after the fall of the Empire and before the emergence of the First Order. The series follows the travails of a lone gunfighter in the outer reaches of the galaxy far from the authority of the New Republic.”   Deadly Class (Syfy, January 16) Producers: Russo Brothers A coming-of-age story set against the backdrop of late 1980s counterculture, which follows a disillusioned teen recruited into a storied high school for assassins.   The Umbrella Academy (Netflix, feb 15) Developed by Jeremy Slater Starring: Ellen Page, Tom Hopper, Robert Sheehan, Mary J. Blige “A disbanded group of superheroes reunite after their adoptive father, who trained them to save the world, dies.”   Watchmen (HBO) Showrunner: Damon Lindelof Cast: Regina King,  Yahya Abdul-Mateen II,  Jeremy Irons, Tim Blake Nelson,  Frances Fisher, Don Johnson “Television series based on the DC Comics series Watchmen, published 1986-1987.”   ‘Russian Doll' (Netflix, February 1st) created by Natasha Lyonne, Amy Poehler, and Leslye Headland Natasha Lyonne stars as "a young woman named Nadia on her journey as the guest of honor at a seemingly inescapable party one night in New York City. She dies repeatedly while at this party and she is just trying to figure out what the hell is going on."   The Passage (Fox, January 14) Developed by Liz Heldens (Deception, Friday Night Lights) loosely based on the trilogy of novels spanning 1,000 years in the life of Amy Bellafonte, as she moves from being manipulated in a government conspiracy through to protecting humankind in a dystopian vampire future.   ‘Living With Yourself' (Netflix, 2019) created by Timothy Greenberg, executive producer of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart Comedy stars Paul Rudd as George Elliot, who is “burned out and facing an impasse in both his personal and professional life. When he undergoes a novel treatment to become a better person, he finds he's been replaced by a new and improved George — revealing that his own worst enemy is himself. Told from multiple perspectives with intersecting storylines, the philosophical comedy asks: Do we really want to be better?" little miss sunshine directors are producers   Devs (FX, 2019) Written/directed by Alex Garland Starring: Sonoya Mizuno, Nick Offerman, Jin Ha, Zach Grenier, Stephen McKinley Henderson, Cailee Spaeny, Alison Pill follows "a young computer engineer, Lily [who] investigates the secretive development division of her employer, a cutting-edge tech company based in San Francisco, which she believes is behind the disappearance of her boyfriend."   Good Omens (Neil Gaiman, Amazon) six-part television serial based on the 1990 novel Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman. directed by Douglas Mackinnon and written by Gaiman, who will also serve as showrunner. stars David Tennant as the demon Crowley and Michael Sheen as the angel Aziraphale trying to prevent the Apocalypse. Other actors include Jon Hamm, Anna Maxwell Martin, Josie Lawrence, Adria Arjona, Michael McKean, Jack Whitehall, Miranda Richardson and Nick Offerman.   What We Do in the Shadows (FX, Spring) Executive producers:  Jemaine Clement Taika Waititi Starring: Kayvan Novak, Matt Berry, Natasia Demetriou, Harvey Guillen Set in New York City and follows "three vampires who have been roommates for hundreds and hundreds of years."   I Am The Night' (TNT, January 28th) six-episode limited television series Starring Chris Pine and India Eisley Directed by Patty Jenkins, Victoria Mahoney, Carl Franklin Fauna Hodel, a young girl who was given up by her birth mother, sets out to uncover the secrets of her past and ends up following a sinister trail that swirls closer to a gynecologist involved in the legendary Black Dahlia slaying.   “Modern Love” (Amazon, 2019)   Written and directed by Sing Street director John Carney Anne Hathaway, Tina Fey, John Slattery, Catherine Keener, Dev Patel, Shea Whigham, Andy Garcia, Olivia Cooke, John Gallagher, Jr., Sofia Boutella Modern Love will explore "love in its multitude of forms – including sexual, romantic, familial, platonic, and self love.   “Mrs. Fletcher” (HBO, 2019) Tom Perrotta (leftovers) Kathryn Hahn stars A divorced woman jumpstarts her love life by adopting a sexy new persona and discovers that her world is full of unexpected and sometimes complicated erotic possibilities.   “Now Apocalypse” (Starz, Mar. 10) Gregg Araki, Steven Soderbergh, A group of four friends living in L.A. embark on various exploits pursuing love, sex and fame. Directed by Gregg Araki. Starring...no one. (Avan Jogia, Kelli Berglund, Beau Mirchoff, Roxane Mesquida)   “The Loudest Voice in the Room”(Showtime, 2019) Tom McCarthy, Jason Blum, starring Russell Crowe, Naomi Watts, Sienna Miller, Simon McBurney, Seth MacFarlane The Loudest Voice in the Room tells the story of Roger Ailes who "molded Fox News into a force that irrevocably changed the conversation about the highest levels of government, will help understand the events that led the rise of Donald Trump. The series focuses primarily on the past decade in which Ailes arguably became the Republican Party's de facto leader, while flashing back to defining events in Ailes' life, including an initial meeting with Richard Nixon on the set of The Mike Douglas Show that gave birth to Ailes' political career and the sexual harassment accusations and settlements that brought his Fox News reign to an end. Told through multiple points of view, the limited series aims to shed light on the psychology that drives the political process from the top down."   “Shrill” (Hulu, Mar. 15) Lorne Michaels Based on Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by Lindy West Starring Aidy Bryant Lolly Adefope Luka Jones Ian Owens John Cameron Mitchell Julia Sweeney Shrill follows "Annie, described as a fat young woman who wants to change her life — but not her body. Annie is trying to make it as a journalist while juggling bad boyfriends, sick parents and a perfectionist boss, while the world around her deems her not good enough because of her weight. She starts to realize that she's as good as anyone else, and acts on it.   “Snowpiercer” (TNT, 2019) Starring Daveed Diggs and Jennifer Connelly Set seven years after the world became a frozen wasteland, Snowpiercer follows the remnants of humanity who inhabit a gigantic, perpetually moving train that circles the globe. The show questions class warfare, social injustice, and the politics of survival   “Turn Up Charlie” (Netflix, March 15) Starring Idris Elba, Piper Perabo and JJ Feild Turn Up Charlie centers on the titular Charlie (Idris Elba), a struggling DJ and eternal bachelor, who is given a final chance at success when he reluctantly becomes a ‘manny' to his famous best friend's problem-child daughter, Gabby (Frankie Hervey).   “Black Monday” (Showtime, January 20) Starring Don Cheadle, Regina King, Andrew Rannells, produced by Happy Endings creator David Caspe Travel back to October 19, 1987—aka Black Monday, the worst stock market crash in the history of Wall Street. To this day, no one knows who caused it … until now. This is the story of how a group of outsiders took on the blue-blood, old-boys club of Wall Street and ended up crashing the world's largest financial system, a Lamborghini limousine and the glass ceiling.   “Fosse/Verdon” (FX, April) Starring Michelle Williams and Sam Rockwell, produced by Lin-Manuel Miranda Spanning five decades, Fosse/Verdonexplores the singular romantic and creative partnership between Bob Fosse (Sam Rockwell) and Gwen Verdon (Michelle Williams). He is a visionary filmmaker and one of the theater's most influential choreographers and directors. She is the greatest Broadway dancer of all time. Only Bob can create the groundbreaking musicals that allow Gwen to showcase her greatness. Only Gwen can realize the unique vision in Bob's head. Together, they will change the face of American entertainment – at a perilous cost.   “Whiskey Cavalier” (ABC, February 24) Starring Scott Foley, Lauren Cohan, produced by Bill Lawrence (Scrubs), Jeff Ingold (Rush Hour), David Hemingson (Don't Trust the B in Apt. 23), directed by Peter Atencio (Key & Peele) Following an emotional breakup, Will Chase (codename: "Whiskey Cavalier"), played by Scott Foley, is assigned to work with badass CIA operative Francesca "Frankie" Trowbridge (codename: "Fiery Tribune"), played by Lauren Cohan. Together, they lead an inter-agency team of flawed, funny and heroic spies who periodically save the world—and each other—while navigating the rocky roads of friendship, romance and office politics.   “Tuca and Bertie” (Netflix, TBA) Starring Tiffany Haddish and Ali Wong, produced by Lisa Hanawalt, Raphael Bob-Waksberg, Noel Bright , and Steven A. Cohen, all of Bojack Horseman Two bird women -- a carefree toucan and an anxious songbird -- live in the same apartment building and share their lives in this animated comedy   “Top of the Morning” (Apple, TBA) Produced by and starring Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon, also starring Steve Carell, Billy Crudup, Gugu Mbatha-Raw An inside look at the lives of the people who help America wake up in the morning, exploring the unique challenges faced by the women (and men) who carry out this daily televised ritual   “The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance” (Netflix TBA) Starring Taron Egerton, Anya Taylor-Joy and Nathalie Emmanuel in the lead roles, and supporting stars Mark Hamill, Mark Strong, Simon Pegg, Natalie Dormer, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Eddie Izzard, Helena-Bonham Carter and more. Based on The Dark Crystal, Jim Henson's groundbreaking 1982 feature film, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistancetells a new epic story, set many years before the events of the movie, and realized using classic puppetry with cutting edge visual effects. The world of Thra is dying. The Crystal of Truth is at the heart of Thra, a source of untold power. But it is damaged, corrupted by the evil Skeksis, and a sickness spreads across the land. When three Gelfling uncover the horrific truth behind the power of the Skeksis, an adventure unfolds as the fires of rebellion are lit and an epic battle for the planet begins.   Swamp Thing (DC Universe, May) Produced by James Wan, Mark Verheiden, Gary Dauberman, Michael Clear and Len Wiseman Directed by Len Wiseman Emerging from the swamp with a monstrous physique and strange new powers over plant life, the man who was once Alec Holland struggles to hold onto his humanity. When dark forces converge on the town of Marais, Swamp Thing must embrace what he has become in order to defend the town as well as the natural world at large.   Stargirl (DC Universe, September) Starring Brec Bassinger and Joel McHale “Courtney Whitmore (aka Stargirl) is smart, athletic and above all else kind. This high school teenager's seemingly perfect life hits a major speed bump when her mother gets married and her new family moves from Los Angeles, California, to Blue Valley, Nebraska. Struggling to adapt to a new school, make new friends and deal with a new step-family, Courtney discovers her step-father has a secret; he used to be the sidekick to a superhero. ‘Borrowing' the long-lost hero's cosmic staff, Courtney becomes the unlikely inspiration for an entirely new generation of superheroes.”   Pennyworth (EPIX, 2019 tba) Produced by Bruno Heller and Danny Cannon Starring Jack Bannon “follows Bruce Wayne's legendary butler, Alfred Pennyworth, a former British SAS soldier who forms a security company and goes to work with Thomas Wayne, Bruce's billionaire father, in 1960's London.”   Wizards (Netflix TBA) DreamWorks Animated Created by Guillermo del Toro The heroes of Arcadia join forces in an apocalyptic war for the control of magic that will decide the fate of the entire galaxy.   Creepshow (Shudder, TBA) Produced by Greg Nicotero No synopsis yet, but: ““Creepshowis one of the most beloved and iconic horror anthologies from two masters of the genre, George A. Romero and Stephen King,” Shudder general manager Craig Engler added. “We're thrilled to continue their legacy with another master of horror, Greg Nicotero, as we bring a new CreepshowTV series exclusively to Shudder members.”   The Righteous Gemstones (HBO, TBA) Starring Danny McBride/Jody Hill, John Goodman, Edi Patterson, Adam DeVine Produced by Jody Hill and David Gordon Green The Righteous Gemstonesfollows "the world famous Gemstone televangelist family, which has a long tradition of deviance, greed, and charitable work, all in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ."   The Boys (Amazon, TBA) Dan Trachtenberg directed pilot, Eric Kripke and Rogen/Goldberg produced Starring Karl Urban, Elisabeth Shue, Erin Moriarty, Antony Starr, Dominique McElligott, Jessie T. Usher, Chace Crawford, Nathan Mitchell, Laz Alonso,Karen Fukuhara In a world where superheroes embrace the darker side of their massive celebrity and fame, THE BOYS centers on a group of vigilantes known informally as “The Boys,” who set out to take down corrupt superheroes with no more than their blue-collar grit and a willingness to fight dirty. THE BOYS is a fun and irreverent take on what happens when superheroes – who are as popular as celebrities, as influential as politicians and as revered as Gods – abuse their superpowers rather than use them for good. It's the powerless against the super powerful as The Boys embark on a heroic quest to expose the truth about “The Seven,” and Vought – the multi-billion dollar conglomerate that manages these superheroes. THE BOYS is scheduled for a 2019 release.   Carnival Row (Amazon TBA) Travis Beacham, starring Orlando Bloom Produced by Travis Beacham and Rene Echevarria Carnival Row will follow "mythical creatures who have fled their war-torn homeland and gathered in the city as tensions are simmering between citizens and the growing immigrant population. At the center of the drama is the investigation into a string of unsolved murders, which are eating away at whatever uneasy peace still exists.”   “Too Old to Die Young” (Amazon, 2019) Written and produced by Nicolas Winding Refn and Ed Brubaker Directed by Refn starring Miles Teller, Billy Baldwin, Jena Malone, John Hawkes Too Old to Die Youngfollows "a grieving police officer who, along with the man who shot his partner, finds himself in an underworld filled with working-class hit men, Yakuza soldiers, cartel assassins sent from Mexico, Russian mafia captains and gangs of teen killers."   Warrior (Cinemax, TBA) Created by Jonathan Tropper and Justin Lin Inspired by an idea from Bruce Lee, Warrioris “set at the times of the Tong Wars in the late 1800s in San Francisco” and “follows a martial arts prodigy originating in China who moves to San Francisco and ends up becoming a hatchet man for the most powerful tong in Chinatown.”   “Y” (FX, 2019) Starring Diane Lane, Barry Keoghan, Imogen Poots, Lashana Lynch, Juliana Canfield and Marin Ireland. Based on the DC comic book series Y: The Last Man by Brian K Vaughn and Pia Guerrera, Yis set in “a post-apocalyptic world in which a cataclysmic event has decimated every male mammal save for one lone human. The new world order of women will explore gender, race, class and survival."   “Les Miserables” (PBS, April 14) Starring Dominic West, David Oyelowo, Lily Collins, Olivia Colman, David Bradley. Six-part BBC TV adaptation of Victor Hugo's classic novel which “follows Jean Valjean as he evades capture by the unyielding Inspector Javert. Set against a backdrop of post-Napoleonic France as unrest beings to grip the city of Paris once more.”   “Lovecraft Country” (HBO, 2019) Produced by Jordan Peele's Monkeypaw Productions and exec produced by Misha Green, J. J. Abrams, and Ben Stephenson. Based on the novel of the same name by Matt Ruff, Lovecraft Country follows "Atticus Black as he joins up with his friend Letitia and his Uncle George to embark on a road trip across 1950s Jim Crow America in search of his missing father. This begins a struggle to survive and overcome both the racist terrors of white America and the terrifying monsters that could be ripped from a Lovecraft paperback."   ‘Catch-22' (Hulu, 2019) Starring Christopher Abbot, Kyle Chandler, George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, produced by Clooney. Catch-22 is described by Hulu as "the story of the incomparable, artful dodger, Yossarian, a US Air Force bombardier in World War II who is furious because thousands of people he has never met are trying to kill him. But his real problem is not the enemy, but rather his own army which keeps increasing the number of missions the men must fly to complete their service. Yet if Yossarian makes any attempt to avoid his military assignments, he'll be in violation of Catch-22, a hilariously sinister bureaucratic rule which specifies that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers which are real and immediate is the process of a rational mind; a man is considered insane if he willingly continues to fly dangerous combat missions, but a request to be removed from duty is evidence of sanity and therefore makes him ineligible to be relieved from duty."   ‘Central Park Five' (Netflix, 2019) Created byAva DuVernay Starring Michael K. Williams, Vera Farmiga & John Leguizamo. “Based on a true story that gripped the nation, the four-episode series will chronicle the notorious case of five teenagers of color who were convicted of a rape they did not commit.” Spans from spring of 1989, when each were first questioned about the incident, to 2014 when they were exonerated and a settlement was reached with the city of New York.   Living With Yourself (Netflix, 2019) Created by Timothy Greenberg Starring Paul Rudd who also executive produces Living With Yourself begins when "George Elliot is burned out and facing an impasse in both his personal and professional life. When he undergoes a novel treatment to become a better person, he finds he's been replaced by a new and improved George — revealing that his own worst enemy is himself. Told from multiple perspectives with intersecting storylines, the philosophical comedy asks: Do we really want to be better?"   Four Weddings And A Funeral (Hulu, 2019) Created by Mindy Kaling Starring Jessica Williams Inspired by the 1994 British romantic comedy film, Four Weddings and a Funeral centers on Jess (Williams), the young communications director for a New York senatorial campaign, who receives a wedding invitation from her college schoolmate now living in London. She leaves her professional and personal life behind, in favor of traveling to England and reconnecting with old friends and ends up in the midst of their personal crises. Relationships are forged and broken, political scandals exposed, London social life lampooned, love affairs ignited and doused, and of course there are four weddings… and a funeral.   Untitled Picard Spin-off (CBS All Access) Created by Alex Kurtzman Starring Patrick Stewart The continuing adventures of Captain Jean-Luc Picard, whose life was radically altered due to the destruction of the Romulan home world in the 2009 Star Trek reboot movie.   The Politician (Netflix) Created by Ryan Murphy Starring Ben Platt, Jessica Lange, Gwenyth Paltrow, Zoey Deutch, Lucy Boynton Hour-long comedy with social commentary – the series follows the political aspirations of a wealthy Santa Barbara resident, with each season focusing on a different political race the lead is in.   The Twilight Zone (CBS All Access) Created by Jordan Peele Hosted & Narrated by Peele, Starring Adam Scott, Kumail Nanjiani, John Cho, Allison Tolman, Jacob Tremblay, Jessica Williams   The Act (Hulu, Mar. 20) Created by Michelle Dean and Nick Antosca Starring Patricia Arquette, Joey King, Chloë Sevigny, AnnaSophia Robb True crime anthology series. First season follows "Gypsy Blanchard, a girl trying to escape the toxic relationship she has with her overprotective mother. Her quest for independence opens a Pandora's box of secrets, one that ultimately leads to murder."   City on a Hill (Showtime, 2019) Created by Chuck MacLean, executive produced by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon Starring Kevin Bacon, Aldis Hodge Set in the early 1990s Boston, rife with violent criminals emboldened by local law enforcement agencies in which corruption and racism was the norm. In this fictional account, assistant district attorney Decourcy Ward (Hodge) arrives from Brooklyn and forms an unlikely alliance with a corrupt yet venerated FBI veteran, Jackie Rohr (Bacon). Together, they take on a family of armored car robbers from Charlestown in a case that grows to involve, and ultimately subvert, the entire criminal justice system of Boston.   Hanna (Amazon, March 2019) Created by David Farr (who co-wrote the movie) Starring Esme Creed-Miles, Joel Kinnaman, Mireille Enos Based on the 2011 movie starring Saoirse Ronan. Equal parts high-concept thriller and coming-of-age drama, Hannafollows the journey of an extraordinary young girl, Hanna (Creed-Miles), as she evades the relentless pursuit of an off-book CIA agent and tries to unearth the truth behind who she is.   Doom Patrol (DC Universe, Feb 15) Created by Jeremy Carver Starring Brendan Fraser, Alan Tudyk, Timothy Dalton, Diane Guerrero, April Bowlby Set after the events of Titans, the Doom Patrol – consisting of Robotman, Negative Man, Elasti-Woman, and Crazy Jane, and led by Dr. Niles Caulder/The Chief – receives a mission from Cyborg that they cannot ignore and will change their lives.   All the other stuff you need to know: You can find more about all the stories we mentioned on today's show at slashfilm.com, and linked inside the show notes. /Film Daily is published every weekday, bringing you the most exciting news from the world of movies and television as well as deeper dives into the great features from slashfilm.com. You can subscribe to /Film Daily on iTunes, Google Play, Overcast, Spotify and all the popular podcast apps (RSS). Send your feedback, questions, comments and concerns to us at peter@slashfilm.com. Please leave your name and general geographic location in case we mention the e-mail on the air. Please rate and review the podcast on iTunes, tell your friends and spread the word! Thanks to Sam Hume for our logo.

This week we’re chatting with Rebekah Madrid, Middle School Principal at Yokohama International School in Japan. Rebekah shares her perspective about coaching as a school leader, along with insights about making coaching work in a mid-sized school, as well as some very specific, strategic and smart ways for coaches to make themselves invaluable to any organization. Rebekah, Clint and I all worked together at YIS for several years, so this was a fantastic opportunity to get an inside look at how the school has developed in terms of coaching over the past few years. Full Show Notes https://elpn.edurolearning.com/coachbetter/episode-7/    

In this episode we are talking about our remote work tools that enable our distributed team across the world to collaborate, design, and build software. Throughout the episode, Todd, Ken, and Jamon touch on their favorite tools—from Slack, Zoom, and Google Sheets—why they chose them, and the ways they have added custom features to really make the remote experience special. Show Links & Resources Slack Zoom G Suite BlueJeans Screenhero RealtimeBoard InVision Trello Airtable Shush Dropbox Bigscreen VR Taking the Pain Out of Video Conferences by Ken Miller Episode Transcript CHRIS MARTIN: The topic at hand today is remote tools, and all of the different ways that you have built a remote company. Where do you even start when you're thinking about what tools to pick when you're going remote? KEN MILLER: This is Ken Miller, by the way. It happened very organically for us. To be honest, I don't know that we could've done this company this way before Slack. Because the tools that came before, Hipchat and IRC and Yammer, even though I worked there. Sorry, Yam-fam. They just didn't quite do it. Right? They didn't quite create the online atmosphere that we need to work the way that we do. Does that sound accurate to you, Todd? I feel like once we found Slack, we were like, "Holy crap, this is epic!" TODD WERTH: I think there's a few alternatives. Hipchat, at the time, wasn't good enough. There were a few alternatives we investigated. I would like to mention at the beginning of this ... This is Todd Werth, by the way. I would like to mention at the beginning, I imagine that a lot of companies in this podcast will need to be paying us an advertising fee. Like Slack. JAMON HOLMGREN: We actually adopted Slack before we were remote. We had ... I think we were using Google Hangouts or something. Or whatever of the myriad Google chats there are out there. They have like 12 apps. We were using something else in person, and then we started using Slack organically right when it first came out. TODD: Sorry about that noise you all heard. That was me throwing up a little bit in my mouth when you said "Google Hangouts". (laughter) KEN: We'll talk about video-chat in a minute. JAMON: By the way, this is Jamon Holmgren. It was ... Initially, we jumped onboard. They did a really good job marketing themselves. We had used Hipchat a little bit, but it just wasn't what we expected. We started using Slack. That was in early 2014, I think it was? I don't think it's a coincidence that within a year and a half we ended up going remote. I think that was one of the enabling tools. We got used to it in the office, but it enabled remote work. TODD: To talk about chat apps or chat services is important, but on a more general standpoint, I would say how you approach it is actually try 'em and do it. A lot of companies seem to just use whatever is available and not look for optimum solutions. If trying three or four different chat systems is too onerous for you, that's probably the wrong attitude, in my opinion. KEN: You think, "don't settle". Don't assume that the first thing that you try is the only thing, and then conclude that remote isn't gonna work because the tool that you tried sucks. JAMON: We tried a lot of tools at ClearSight, before the merger. We tried ... I can't even name them all, to be honest. Part of it is because I like ... I'm a gadget guy, I like to try new things and see how it goes. There was actually a lot of skepticism around Slack because they're just yet another tool that they had to log into and pay attention to. "We already had the email, so do we really need this." It was kinda funny, when I went back and looked at our inner-company email, just tracked ... I think I used the "everyone@clearsightstudio.com" or something email address to track how often we were using it for company communications. It just dropped off a cliff after Slack. The amount of email, the volume of email that was flying around went way, way, way down. In fact, I remember we used to send GIFs in the email threads, and stuff. There were elements of the culture that we have today in Slack going on in email threads. Slack was just so much more well-suited to that. That actually came about very organically. We had tried a bunch of different things. We tried Slack, and it just picked up steam, picked up steam, picked up steam. TODD: I don't ... I'm not even exaggerating, I don't believe I've ever sent an email to anyone at Infinite Red internally. I don't think so. KEN: Unless it's a forward from someone external. TODD: Correct. I think there's people on our team who probably don't check their email very often because they don't have a lot of -- KEN: Yeah, if you don't do sales or any kind of external outreach -- TODD: Yeah. That was a sticking point a few times, when people were sending out the emails, and we had to ... They were wondering why people weren't responding, it's because the variety of people never check their email. JAMON: It is funny, because email does still, it is still a tool that we use for remote communication with outside clients, especially people first coming to us. But as soon as we can, we get them onto Slack because we've found that that level of communication is the least friction, it's very seamless. Slack is definitely featuring very centrally in our remote-tool story, for sure. TODD: Rather than just ... I'm sure a lot of people out there use Slack. If you don't, give it a try. But rather than just gushing on Slack, I do wanna say that the important part here is we did go through a lot of different chat services. You have to give 'em some time. At first, for example ... We do love Slack, but at first it didn't seem that different. There wasn't a bullet list that's like, "Oh, this has feature X", it was a bunch of little, subtle things that made it work especially well for us. KEN: Part of the meta-point there, is you have to treat your tools really seriously. Right? Google and Amazon and all these big companies, any well-funded start-up, whatever, they're gonna lavish a lot of attention on making an office that works for them. Right? TODD: Mm-hmm (affirmative). KEN: They're gonna create an office environment very thoughtfully. I've been to a lot of these offices. A lot of them are very thoughtfully considered. Right? They're designed to create a certain atmosphere. For example, I was at the Square offices once. Huge, cavernous room designed to create a sense of energy. That's the open-office mantra, that sense of energy. They had these little cubicle ... nicely designed cubicle things where you could go if you wanted quiet. Clearly, noise was the default. That architecture creates a culture. At least it reinforces a culture. As a remote company, your tools are your architecture. You either need to buy them from people who design them in a way that works for you, and Slack seems to work for a lot of people, or you build things that work for you, or you create norms about how they're used that do the same thing. We've done some things on Slack, we've done some things on Zoom, to create that sense of being together. Todd? TODD: I would like to add emphasis to what Ken just said. Imagine a time that someone puts into an office: architecture, the layout, the furniture. Rearranging it multiple times, placing stuff. Now think about the time that companies you've worked for put into remote tools. Anyone out there with their hands up saying they spent about 30 minutes on their remote tools -- KEN: Ever! TODD: Yeah. It's not surprising that one is superior to other in those organizations. I would pile on, like Ken said, and take the same amount of effort and consideration of your tools as a remote company as you did with everything else in the physical space if you're a commuter company. CHRIS: I'm interested, too, because as you're talking, you're talking about the difference between physical architecture and the architecture of your tools that allow you to do remote work, and if everyone's using Slack, and it looks and functions the same way, what brings the sense of uniqueness to a company that's using the same tools? TODD: Me. Just me being around makes everything unique, wonderful, and amazing. To answer the real question, you have to take Slack ... One of the great things about Slack, 'cause it's highly customizable, you can add plug-ins, you can add all sorts of integrations. We're gonna talk about other tools than Slack. They literally just pay us a crapload of money just to talk about this. JAMON: I wish. KEN: I wish. TODD: You don't take the vanilla. The point of a tool like that is you take it and you make it your own. JAMON: I did see someone tweeting about switching remote companies. They quit one company and they got hired by another. They did mention, actually, how similar it was. You go into the same place; you sit down at the same chair; you have the same computer in front of you; you log in to a different Slack, and you start working. Right? There is some level of consistency there. In a way, that's a very good thing. You can be comfortable very, very, very soon. There are plenty of things to learn about a new company without having to also learn new office layout, new office norms, policies about who can put their lunch in the fridge and who can't. I don't know what else. It's been so long since I've been in an office, I don't even know. I think there is some level of normalcy there because people do use similar tools. Like Todd said, you can customize Slack to work the way that your company needs to, and you can customize other tools as well. Since we're programmers, since our team has a lot of programming capability on it, we do actually build a lot of glue code in the scripts and things that will help tie all the tools together. KEN: In most organizations that have adopted chat tools, whether it's Slack or something else, they are usually billed as an internal supplement replacement for email. It is great at that, don't get me wrong, but I think something that gets lost in the way people talk about in the way we communicate now is that ... Let me tell a little story. I used to be a big fan of Roger Ebert. Rest in peace. Brilliant writer, right? Super enthusiastic. He was very critical of the way people write online. Very critical of things like emojis and emoticons. I think, while I respect him a lot, I think he completely missed the point on that. The point of that is, although, yes, we type to communicate online, it's not really writing. Not in the way our English teachers taught us. Right? It's typed speech, really. Right? It's a register of communication that's closer to the way that we talk than it is to the way that we would write if we're writing an essay or a blog post. One of the things that I really like about, Slack for example, is the rich way that you can communicate without it looking junky. It doesn't look like something awful or 4chan or some of the other really junky-looking message boards that have that level of expressiveness. It gives you the level of expressiveness so that you can substitute for the lack of facial expressions and body-language, but it's not writing. You don't write ... you don't type into Slack the same way you do. It's much closer to the way that you talk. For a remote organization, where we're not on Zoom all the time, although we are a lot, it's super important that you have that level of human expressiveness in your medium, in the medium that you're using to replace spoken word. TODD: Three comments. One: Zoom is the video conferencing tool we use, and we'll talk about that in a second. Two: I don't spend much time on 4chan, Ken, so I'll take your word on that one. (laughter) Three: just to give an example, talking about customization and you might be asking yourself, "Okay, Todd, I've used Slack. I've used chat. What're you talking about?" Just give you a few flavors. The simplest is creating your own channels that have some sort of cultural significance to your organization. One of ours is called "Rollcall", where we ... It's the digital equivalency of walking in and out of the office. "I'm here this morning." "I'm gonna go get my car worked on." "I'm back." It's not just status, it's also ... not just whether you're working or not, but it's a way to communicate basic, little life things in a short way. We have another one called "Kudos", where we give kudos to people. Which, at first, I thought, probably, wouldn't take off, but it actually did. It's where you give kudos to people for things that they did well, and I'm really shocked how many people give kudos and how many people respond. That's obviously just using the base tool and choosing what content to put on there, and how to organize. There's other things, too. Obviously there's things like code-repository integration, a code bug-reporting integration. We integrate with other companies' Slacks. They have a Slack channel, we have a Slack channel, and they connect so that we can do that with our clients. All the way to we have a custom Bot we wrote for Slack. Her name is Ava. She does a variety of internal processes for us. She's kind of ... In the old days, you'd have a database and you'd have a Windows app written to connect your database for your company, you'd do things in there. We have a lot of internet SaaS-tools. And then we have Ava that integrates a lot of them together. JAMON: Todd, can you give an example of something that Ava does for us? TODD: Yes. There's some basic things that a chatbot might do. For instance, you might wanna ask her where Jamon is, and she'll tell you the information she knows about Jamon. It's a lot of operational stuff. For instance, our Project Manager, Jed, has to produce weekly reports for clients. Ava produces those for him. Stuff like that. Stuff that you would normally do, like I said, in the old days, in a desktop app personally. JAMON: Todd came up with Ava quite a while ago, actually. It was sort of a toy to start with, just playing around with it. He had some ideas where it might go, but over time we've actually invested more and more resources into this internal chatbot and it's proven to be quite valuable. It's saved a lot of time, reduced the amount of overhead that we have to have tracking things because it's able to do a lot of process things. KEN: So far, she has not escaped and murdered us. (laughter) TODD: Not so far. I'm working on that. JAMON: That's a win. TODD: There's some tiny things. She's just a way for us, if we need to program something that we have a sticking point like, here's a very simple thing that took me five minutes to ruin. We do a lot of things on Mondays, and constantly wanna know what last Monday was, or Monday three weeks ago. You can literally just say, "Ava, what was Monday two weeks ago," and she'll tell you. That's a very tiny thing. Generating project PDFs or generating project reports is a bigger thing, obviously. JAMON: Another tool we use to communicate, non-verbally in Slack, is "Reactions". Someone'll post something and we react to it. I think this is pretty common in Slack teams and this is something that Slack did a good job of coming up with a cool idea. Usually you think of up-voting and down-voting, but when you have the whole range of emojis, including custom ones and animated ones and things like that, it can be a very cool thing. One interesting example of this: we have an integration with ... Ken, what's the service we use for Chain React tickets? KEN: Zapier. JAMON: Zavier. Zapier, yeah, and it connects with Eventbrite, and that basically will post any time someone buys a ticket to Chain React, which is our React Native conference, of course, happening in Portland in July. You should buy a ticket. (laughter) We get a notification, and it pops in there, says who's coming. When we're getting down there ... We were getting down to the last few advanced workshops that were available, someone started putting a number emoji underneath it. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, like that. You can see then, at a glance, how many were left. It was very cool how we were all collaborating on that. When someone would buy the advanced workshop, Kevin VanGelder, who's our resident Windows guy, he would put a little Windows emoji on there because that's part of the advanced workshop. It was just a cool way to communicate and collaborate without even using words. TODD: I think the important part of using reactions or emojis or Slack Responses ... Reactions, if you're not familiar, Slack is ... It's simply, someone posts a message, and instead of responding to it, you can post a little image on it, like heart, or a thumbs up, or a vote-up, or whatever. Slack Response is an automatic system that, when you say X, it outputs Y into it. One Slack Response that Jamon hates is that when you say "I'm not a big fan", it posts this picture of this really, really small fan. It's hilarious. I love it. (laughter) JAMON: Really hilarious. TODD: Every time someone put ... We had some that we had to remove, 'cause they just came up too much. Every time you'd say "founders" it would show the Three Stooges, which is "Accurate", but... KEN: It was "founders' meeting". TODD: Oh, whatever. KEN: But still, yeah. TODD: It was accurate but a little too much noise. The point is, it's very important. We've probably added a huge number of Slack Responses, a huge number of our own emojis, and the emojis you can use for Responses. A lot of them have become very cultural. Just to give you a few examples: my cat, Calle, that's short for Calle Berry, I took a picture of her paw. And, of course, cats, if you just do the front part of their paw, it looks like they have four fingers instead of five because their fifth one's back further. We came with this emoji and this thing where, if someone does a really great job, they get a "high-four", instead of high-five, and that's Calle's Response. JAMON: I didn't actually know that was Calle's paw. TODD: Oh, yeah, that's Calle's paw. JAMON: That's cool. TODD: So that's a cultural thing that I created one day, and it just kinda stuck. It became a "high-four"; it is an Infinite Red thing, you get a "high-four". We have other things like that, too, that are very specific to our culture, where you have to explain to people who come in what that means. I would definitely customize it, make it fun. We don't worry too much if clients see it. We're not doing anything inappropriate. At first, there was discussion, "Is it professional if they accidentally trigger one of the Slack Responses?" "No, but does that really matter?" "No," in my opinion. KEN: It depends on the Response. (laughter) TODD: Of course. KEN: There were some that were a little over the line and that, without context, could be a little startling. We removed those. TODD: Yeah, that's true. KEN: But for the most part, yeah, just something that's quirky. Hopefully, we all have clients that, at least the people who are in the Slack room are able to appreciate that. TODD: Another one that's totally part of our culture is, there was this early picture of me looking into the camera with a stern face. That became the "shame" emoji. That's been used ever since. Every time someone wants to throw shame upon someone, my face is there. I don't know if that's good or bad. JAMON: There's another one that's quite disturbing, of you, Todd. TODD: Oh! When you say yes "yis", Y, I, S, yes that is disturbing. JAMON: "Yis dream." TODD: You have to work here to ... KEN: You had to be there. KEN: Some of the things that came from my experience at Yammer, where a lot of the company was run internally on Yammer, there's a couple of really big advantages to that. Especially, at an all-remote company, where the vast majority of conversations happen there. One is that there's very much less pressure to include people in meetings just because, just in case they might have something to say about it. Because if you've having a conversation in Slack, you just pull 'em in. Right? After the fact, and they can catch up. But the other was, there was an ethos at Yammer that was, there was this pat question which was, "Why is this private?" "Why did you make this group private?" "Why is this in a private chat?" Making closed conversations justify themselves, rather than being the default. Particularly when we invite other people into Slack, I notice there's a little period of training, where people will instinctively start DMing, 'cause it's like "Well, I need to ask Ken this question." Say we brought our bookkeeper in, right? They would ask me 'cause I was the contact. I'm like, "Ask this question in Finance." Right? "Ask this question in the Finance channel." Which happens to be one of the private ones, for a variety of fairly obvious reasons. By asking in the channel, then the other people who might be interested can just observe. That's one of the ways that you compensate for the lack of that serendipitous, overheard conversation that people are so fond of in a office. CHRIS: In Episode Two, we talked about the philosophy of remote work. Todd, you actually made a comment that was really interesting to me. You said, "When the leadership uses the remote tools, they immediately get better." Why do you think that's the case? TODD: Human nature. I'll answer your question with a little story. I worked for company ... This is circa 1999. I don't know. I didn't work for 'em; they were a client of ours. For many, many years they were very much a Microsoft shop. They had no interest in testing anything on other platforms like Mac or whatever. We worked for them for nine years, something like that. So this is all through the 2000s. It was frustrating for people who wanted to produce websites that were universal. If someone opened 'em on a Mac, it would actually look good and not look horrible. One day, one of the VPs who was above the software group bought an iPad. I think, about a year later, he bought a MacBook. Once he had that iPad, all of a sudden, it'd become very important that things look good on his iPad, which is funny and horrible at the same time. It is just human nature. If you use something, it's much more front of mind than if you don't. Even the best of people suffer this. If you have a mixed company, meaning you're part remote, part commuter, one of those groups is gonna be a second-class citizen. Period. If 10 people are in a meeting, and eight are remote and two are in the office, the two in the office are gonna be the second-class citizens. More often, it's the vice versa, right? Getting everyone on the same page gets rid of second-class citizens. If you wanna make the best remote environment, either getting the majority or getting the people who have more power in the remote situation will increase your tools' quality big time. JAMON: That's for sure. We've seen that internally at Infinite Red, as well. When we use the tools, which we do, leadership team is probably the heaviest user of the remote tools in a lot of ways. There are situations where they're just not good enough, and we make sure that they get changed, for sure. Zoom is a good ... Zoom, the video chat, video call system, is really an interesting one because it has worked the best for us in terms of video calls. We've used a whole bunch of them. We've used everything from Google Hangouts, Skype, Appear.in, which is pretty decent. Pretty frictionless, actually. I like Appear.in for how fast it is to jump into it, but the quality is still a little bit sub-optimal. A few others as well. The nice thing about Zoom is that it allows you to put everybody into a grid pattern. It has a gallery view, which is really cool because then you feel like you're having a meeting and not doing a presentation. That's something that came out of us doing sales calls and internal meetings where we kinda felt like, "I don't wanna be the person on the big screen," right? Feel like your giving a presentation. "I wanna feel like this is a meeting with everybody in an equal place." It makes people feel more comfortable. That was a situation where we were using the tools for various things and found the one that, I think, has worked the best 'cause, as a leadership team, we needed it. TODD: Yes, as far as video chat or video calls ... We actually need a name for that. What do you say if ... It's not really video chatting. JAMON: Video conferencing? TODD: I don't like ... KEN: It's not exactly "conferencing". TODD: I don't like the term. JAMON: Video meeting? KEN: Video meeting. TODD: Yeah, there needs to be a term for that. We need to coin a term for that, at least internally. CHRIS: Zooming. TODD: Zooming. Well that's ... That's not tool-specific. KEN: Slack as a tool is much stickier, in the long term, probably, than Zoom is. At the moment, Zoom is, by far, in our experience, the best quality. JAMON: Mm-hmm (affirmative). KEN: But that could change. Slack ... there's a lot we've invested in customizing and it would be harder, but ... Although, we have invested some in Zoom, which we can talk about a bit. TODD: I would say Zoom is our favorite for our situation. One of our clients is BlueJeans.net, which is not really a competitor, but they do video conferencing. BlueJeans is really great for many things. One thing is they do every platform well. KEN: Mm-hmm (affirmative), yep. TODD: Which, Zoom, and a lot of the other ones don't necessarily do. Now, we're all mostly on Macs, and it works really well on that, so that works out well. Also, BlueJeans.net has a lot of additional features. Where we basically just need video conferencing; Zoom is so superior. Google Hangouts is horrible. Please, please stop using Google Hangouts. KEN: Don't use Skype. Don't use Google Hangouts. TODD: Well, Skype -- KEN: Skype has gotten better, but -- TODD: Skype's quality is great, but it does a max of six people. We have 26 people. KEN: I disagree that they're quality is great. TODD: I was being ni -- KEN: Even domestically, I've had problems with it. (laughter) JAMON: We have Microsoft people listening. TODD: I was being nice, Ken. JAMON: It crashes a lot on Mac. KEN: The point is, here, you should demand rock-solid video 99% of the time. TODD: Yeah. KEN: If that's not what you're getting, look at another tool. JAMON: This extends to the internet bandwidth that you have available at your place of work, too. Some people that were really scraping by on 20Mb or something connections, and it was impacting video quality, and -- TODD: On what tool? KEN: No, their connection. JAMON: Their internet connection, yeah. That was something that we, overtime, got everybody to upgrade to faster and faster internet. I think that was a success for, pretty much, everybody. They have pretty acceptable internet, now, at this point. TODD: Some aren't as much. We have a person who's a nomad and travels around. We have someone who's in extremely rural Canada, up above Toronto, Tor-on-toe, I'm told is the proper way to say that. Zoom does very well in bandwidth, so the people that do have limited bandwidth, that works very well. We actually have meetings, 26 people in Zoom, which before would have been crazy. Skype limits you to six, which I'm not sure how useful that is for most meetings, but good for you, Skype. KEN: The only thing it's not so great on is battery-life, if you're using a mobile device. JAMON: It sort of trades CPU time for bandwidth. KEN: It does, yeah. JAMON: One of the things that Zoom doesn't do, that we've sort of built a system on top of, is permanent conference rooms. We've found this to be very useful to say, "Hey, let's jump into this 'conference room A', or 'conference room B'." We have better names for it. We name them after rooms in the boardgame Clue. TODD: Trademark Milton Bradley. (laughter) JAMON: There's a billiard room, there's a conservatory, there's a study, kitchen, et cetera. We have different uses for those different rooms. Some are for sales calls; some are for ... One is called Kitchen, which we use for the kitchen table, it's basically where people just jump in there, and work together in relative quiet. It's a cool little concept. We actually built an online, like a website, as well as a desktop app that shows a Clue board with the different rooms that light up when people are in them, and then it puts avatars of who's in that room, including guests, which is very cool because I can go in there and say, "Hey, look! Chris and Todd are having a meeting over there. I'm gonna jump in and see what's going on." I can just click in there, and it opens a Zoom window, and I'm in their meeting. TODD: For example, currently, Chris, Jamon, Ken and I are in Study. We have Kevin and Ryan in Library, and we have Jed in the Billiard Room by himself. I'm not sure what that's about. Maybe playing a little pool. KEN: This goes back to the notion of tools as architecture. Consider the experience of being in an office, and you want a meeting. You say, "Hey, let's meet in Fisherman's Wharf." I was in an office where they named things after San Francisco neighborhoods. "Let's meet in Fisherman's Wharf." Everybody, after they've been oriented into the office, knows where that is and they just go. That's it, right? That's the experience, right? Furthermore, if you wanna know where somebody is, you walk around the building, look into the rooms, and see that so-and-so is in Fisherman's Wharf, so they're in a meeting, they're busy. Now let's look at what it's like to be remote, without a tool like this. "Where's the meeting? Okay, I gotta ask somebody. Oh, okay. Oh, did someone start the meeting? Oh, no, no, okay, somebody needs to start the meeting. Alright, gimme a second, I'm gonna start the meeting. Here's the Zoom URL." TODD: Oh, God! KEN: "Okay, you gotta invite somebody." "Do you remember the Zoom URL?" "I don't remember the Zoom URL." "Okay, hang on. Okay, I got it. Here you go." That's the UX, right now. JAMON: Yes. KEN: Of the base ... TODD: Oh, jeez. KEN: ... video conferencing tool, and it's no wonder people hate that! JAMON: Yep. KEN: Right? TODD: Can you imagine? KEN: Yeah. It turns out ... We've had to increase the number of rooms over the years, right? But how many do we have now? Eight? TODD: Eight. KEN: So we have eight rooms now? TODD: Eight current rooms. KEN: That's pretty much fine. TODD: Mm-hmm (affirmative). For a team our size, that works well. JAMON: We usually don't fill all of ... I think, yesterday, I looked in there and there were six in use, which was kind of a anomaly, but ... KEN: In an office, we can keep adding those as long as we need to. JAMON: That's right. KEN: This is a case where I think we've created something that is actually better than what people who have an office have. JAMON: Yeah. KEN: Right? Because you can, just at a glance, see where people are. Nobody has to even tell you what room they're in. They just say, "Hey, we're meeting." You go look at the Clue board, and you see where the people that you're meeting with are, and you join the room. JAMON: Yeah. KEN: It's just one more little piece of constant friction that we've eliminated. I love it. I think it's a fantastic tool. TODD: Yeah, I keep the Clue desktop app open all day long while I'm at work. It's also cool to see the little avatars and stuff. Makes me feel like I'm at work. When we first started, you did have to push ... This is a very common interaction. "Hey, Todd, I need your help with X." And I'm like, "Let's have a meeting" or "Let's jump in Zoom" or whatever. "Which one?" "I'm already there. I joined a room as soon as you said it." "Which one?" "Open Clue. (laughter) Look for my name. Click on it." JAMON: Yeah. TODD: That only took a few weeks, to be honest, of constantly just needling that to the point where, when someone says, "Hey, I wanna jump in a room," they look and they see where you jumped in. KEN: That brings back the importance of having the leadership on the tool. TODD: Yes. JAMON: That's right. This tool actually came out of a side-project. I think Gant and AJ, two of our engineers, came up with the idea and built a prototype, and put it out there. It was ... I remember being, initially, a little bit skeptical that it'd be useful and it's turned out to be a really key part of our remote experience. TODD: That's actually an important point. No one asked anyone to make that tool. No one asked for permission to make that tool. They made it. They turned it on. Now, we've had tools that people've made. For instance, my tool Ava, which, now, is very useful, originally was Dolores, which is from HBO's great TV show, "Westworld". Dolores never caught on. She didn't do enough important stuff, and so she just kinda died. Later I resurrected her as Ava, which is from the movie "Ex Machina". Excellent movie, by the way. KEN: It's still kind of a disturbing allusion, though. TODD: It is, but it's ... It's a great movie. And then the next movie he did, which was "Annihilation", was fantastic as well. Anyways, not important, obviously. The point is, no one needs to ask for permission. They can make tools. They do. They put 'em out there, and they live or die based on whether or not they're actually used. We do sunset things that just never really took off. CHRIS: You're mentioning a lot of tools that enable remote work, that enable productive work. What are some tools that you're thinking about or are in place that help with focus and eliminating distractions? 'Cause sometimes, people new to these environments can look at these tools going, "Man there's so many distractions. How do I work?" JAMON: I actually think that's one of the biggest benefits of working remotely, which is kind of counter-intuitive. You think, "Oh, there's so many distractions when you're working remotely." Actually, you can turn off Slack. You can turn your screen to "do not disturb". You can shut off Zoom. You can turn off you're email. You can close all of those applications and just have the app that you're doing the work in, you're writing a blog post, you're writing code, you can just have that open. You can turn on a "do not disturb" mode in Slack that'll actually tell people that you're currently away. If you use the tools that are available, remote work can actually be much better, because what happens in an office? Someone can't get a hold of you on email or Slack, so what do they do? They hop up and they walk over to your office, and they're like, "Hey, did you get my email?" (laughter) "Okay, I will check my email, eventually, here. Is this really important?" One of the things that we do is ... This is kind of funny, but we'll actually say "I'm going offline for three hours, 'cause I'm gonna focus on this thing. If it's really important, text me." Our phone numbers are there, right? Nobody's gonna text you, 'cause that just feels like a complete intrusion. Right? KEN: It does happen. Like, if it's a genuine emergency. JAMON: It does happen if it's like an emergency. But that is so rare. That is awesome, because you're adding a ton of friction, but you're still giving them some way to get to you. I think that's a good property of remote work, that you can actually focus more in those situations than you can in an office. TODD: Yeah, try to turn off all the noise in an open-concept office. Good luck! KEN: Yeah, an office is distracting by default. You have to use technology to get some focus. I can't think of any tool that we use just for focus. Right? It's about human habits around how they use the tools that are already there. TODD: I think there are some, Ken. I don't personally use them. KEN: Yeah, yeah. I mean there are things, but there's nothing we use as a company. TODD: No, but there are people here that use, for one thing, they'll use the various timer apps that tell them to stand up, or if they set a timer for focus -- KEN: I've used the Pomodoro timer. TODD: Yeah, there are things. What's cool about remote work as opposed to depressing cubicle work (laughter), is you can set up the environment -- KEN: Soul-crushing commute work. (laughter) TODD: Soul-crushing commute work, SCCW, I like it. In those situations, you have to go to the lowest common denominator. If 50% of the people are very productive and get focused with music, and 50 can't at all, you're gonna have no music. When you're sitting in your own environment, whatever that environment is, whether it's your home, or a café, or co-working space, or whatever it is that you've chosen to be most efficient in, when you're sitting in that environment, you can control and make it perfect for you to be able to focus. Personally, if I'm doing design work or visual work, I play music. It gets me in the groove. If I'm programming, I cannot have any music. Or if I do have music, it can't have any lyrics in it. That's a focus thing. I tend to like to work more in the dark, strangely. I love light and I live in a very sunny place, and a very sunny house, but I have noticed that I tend to get more in the zone in dark and often late at night, for me personally. CHRIS: I'm the same way, Todd. I have to fake my brain into thinking it's late at night by closing all the blinds and turning the lights off. And it actually helps productivity. TODD: Yeah, that's interesting. I used to have this problem at every company I worked at. Even, say, I shared a room with four other people. One office, and four. I would wanna have all the lights off and have a desk lamp so I could see. No one liked this. Having the fluorescent lights on ... I didn't take cyanide, but I do believe I shopped online for cyanide, just saying. (laughter) KEN: So this is in your browser history, now, forever, man. (laughter) There's a FBI file on you. TODD: Oh, there's been a FBI file. Come on. If you don't have a FBI file on you, what are you doing with your life? (laughter) JAMON: At the old ClearSight office, we had some fluorescent lights, and one by one they would burn out. Nobody would tell the maintenance guy because they just liked that they were burning out. (laughter) Eventually it got quite dark in there and everybody, they just wouldn't even turn on the light. TODD: I would like to make a confession. I have purposely broke some lights in offices. KEN: "True Confessions with Todd Werth." (laughter) TODD: You don't want true ones. No, that actually -- CHRIS: That's Season Two of the podcast. (laughter) TODD: That actually is very true. Sometimes you just have to ... KEN: Civil disobedience? TODD: Yes, I like the way you phrased that. Makes things more noble and less selfish. (laughter) KEN: Yeah, right. Guerilla productivity. JAMON: We have some other tools to talk about, too, right? TODD: Oh, yeah, we have other tools to talk about. JAMON: Should we talk about some of them, or ... TODD: Yes. KEN: But enough about Todd. (laughter) TODD: I'll be here all week. Do not eat the veal. JAMON: One of the tools that has been really helpful for us is Google Sheets. Obviously, that's the spreadsheet program in Google Apps. We ... We're having trouble ... Again, this is pre-merger. We're having trouble figuring out how to schedule people. It was just a real pain. Eventually, my Project Manager at the time, came up with a system that involved sticky notes on a board that were, across the top were weeks, and down the left side were the names of people. We could just put sticky notes. My wife went out and bought a whole bunch of different colored sticky notes. We'd put the same project as the same color across the board. You could, at a glance, see who was working on the same project. You could see how long it was going to be, as far as number of weeks, and every week we'd move 'em over to the left and add another column. That eventually migrated onto Google Sheets, 'cause, of course, that doesn't work so well when you're remote. The collaboration tools on Google Sheets are extremely good. It's very, very responsive to having multiple people on it. When we do our Friday scheduling meeting for the next week, and beyond, we'll all pull open the sheet, and we look at it, and we can all update it ... If we see something that's wrong, we can update it. We can change colors of the backgrounds. It's worked really well for, now, two and a half years. I think that's a remote tool that has actually been quite useful for us for quite some time. Not only does it give us forward-looking data, but it also gives us backward-looking. We can look at previous years and see what projects were we working on at the time, who was working on what, all the way throughout. It's been a very cool tool. We're just repurposing Google Sheets to use as a scheduling tool. TODD: Another tool we used to use ... Jeez, I can't remember what it's called. What was the [inaudible 00:43:17] tool we used to use? JAMON: Screenhero. KEN: Screenhero? TODD: Screenhero, yes, of course. I remember when Screenhero was ... It was eventually bought by Slack and is being integrated into Slack. We used to use that a lot, but truthfully, the tools in Zoom for screensharing stuff became superior and so I think almost everyone pairs with each other Zooming. TODD: Another tool we use is RealtimeBoard, which is a sticky board analogist tool; the designers -- KEN: Designers love it. TODD: The designers used it a lot, but we also use it in leadership and the developers, I think, are starting to look into it. It's great for brainstorming. It's a real-time tool, kinda like Google Docs or Google Sheets, where everyone can use it at the same time, and you see everyone using it. That's been really great. The designers use the heck out of InVision, which is a wonderful tool for showing designs, getting notes, and collaborating with clients, collaborating with the rest of the team, and that kind of stuff. Another tool we use for project management a lot is Trello. If you're not familiar, with it, it's a great project management tool. It's a Kanban board, if you're familiar with those. Not only do we use Trello, we also integrated ... Ava connects to Trello, produces reports from ... Ava connects to Airtable, which is another interesting mix between a database and a spreadsheet. We use Airtable and Trello. Those are some other tools we use. KEN: Something to mention, also, is that between Slack and Zoom we have some redundancy, because Zoom has rudimentary chat and Slack has video conferencing. It's not as good as Zoom's, but it's there, and we already have it. For example, when Slack is down, we have Zoom channels that we can all do basic communication in. That provides a certain amount of resiliency for the work environment, and that's very helpful. TODD: Yeah, it does go down every so often. It's funny because our company comes to a screeching halt when Slack goes down. KEN: Yeah, and that's a valid criticism, I think, of remote working. We do have the redundancy so that people can at least, basically, keep going. TODD: We all know now, if Slack's down ... It was, actually yesterday, coincidentally. JAMON: Yeah. TODD: If Slack is down, we go into Zoom chat. That took a while to get people ... It's funny 'cause we don't use email and stuff, and we use that so much. We could jump into a meeting. We've done that in the past, before we had this redundancy we would just jump into a meeting room and kinda like, "Hey, what do we do?" It was like the lights went out and everyone was confused at what to do. It's actually kind of amusing if you think about that. A bunch of virtual people wandering around in the dark wondering what to do. JAMON: We have a lot of redundancy of internet connection. Someone might be having internet issues, but not everybody is having internet issues. That's a pretty big deal. I remember the office internet would stop working and, even though we were all in the same place, yes we could collaborate, no we couldn't work 'cause we couldn't access -- KEN: Couldn't get to GitHub, can't get to... JAMON: ... Dropbox, whatever. Which, we do use GitHub, we use Dropbox. There's a little tool that I use that, I would say, about a third of the company also uses. We're on video calls a lot. When you're on a video call, sometimes it's nice to have a cough button: you hit a button and it mutes you for just a second, so you can cough or whatever. This one's called Shush. It's a Mac app. You can buy it for three bucks or something. It turns your function key into a mute button, so you just hit that button and it will mute you for a short amount of time. Or you can double-tap it and it turns into a push to talk button, which is nice when you're in a big group. TODD: Mm-hmm (affirmative). I don't use Shush, because I use a hardware version of that. I have quite a lot of audio equipment and video stuff. Pretty sure, in the remote podcast, we talked about the importance of having good equipment and spending a little money on good equipment. You cheap managers out there, stop doing that; you're horrible people. (laughter) JAMON: Also the background of your video call is really important. That was actually something Todd really emphasized when we first started. I will point out that he has the messiest background of all of us, right now. TODD: Well, to be clear, I have two cameras. One is a wide angle which I use for the team so I can move around and stuff; and I have a tighter angle I use for clients, in which case, what's behind me is very specifically chosen to be a background, and I keep that incredibly clean. JAMON: I just say that to tweak Todd, because he's the biggest champion of having a good background. TODD: Yes. Jamon's horizon, right now, is extremely tilted, and it's been driving me crazy the whole time, but I'll get over it. (laughter) KEN: I know. I can't unsee that. TODD: In my 46 years on this planet, I've learned not to mention that, even though I really, really want him to straighten his camera. KEN: It doesn't help, Jamon, you've still got a vertical line that is -- TODD: I'll tell you a funny story about backgrounds. Poor Ken. Ken had this very nice ... I don't know what it was. What was it, Ken? KEN: It's a bookcase, right, (laughter) but it's IKEA furniture, so it looks -- TODD: It's IKEA? KEN: It looks like a dresser. Yeah. TODD: This whole time it was IKEA? We thought it was important. We felt bad for making fun of it. 'Cause it looks like a dresser. It was right behind him, and it looked like Ken was sitting in bed (laughter) with his dresser behind him. KEN: Yes, reinforcing every stereotype about remote workers. (laughter) TODD: Right. We kept on bugging him, and he said, "It's a really nice bookcase." I didn't realize it was IKEA. KEN: I didn't say it was a really nice bookcase. I said it was a bookcase. (laughter) TODD: It looked like a dresser. JAMON: It really did, in fact. KEN: That's because it's IKEA furniture, so it's looks like that. TODD: I guess the point is, how things appear is more important than what they actually are. This is something a lot of people aren't familiar with. We have different people with different levels of quality of what they produce as far as visually or audio. I think the general takeaway is take some time. You are almost doing a mini-television broadcast, and you wanna be ... I wouldn't say the word "professional", because it's not stuffy, it's fine if you're wearing your tie-dye and your shorts, but you should make it a pleasant experience for the viewers. KEN: Yeah. You should look inviting, and it should look intentional. TODD: Mm-hmm (affirmative). KEN: And kept. JAMON: We have some other tips for remote video meetings that, I think, are on a blog post that we created. Was that you, Ken, that wrote that post? KEN: Yeah. We could do a whole podcast, frankly, on how to have a good video meeting. JAMON: We can link to that in the show notes. KEN: We can link to that for now. TODD: That is a podcast I wanna do. I do wanna point out to the audience who can't see us now, we're recording this for your listening pleasure, and I put pleasure in quotation marks 'cause I don't wanna oversell it. But, we are actually on Zoom, so we can see each other. Jamon, thankfully moved his camera so we can't see the horizon any more, which is crooked, but right over his left shoulder is a door-line that's incredibly crooked. I appreciate the effort, Jamon, but come on. Have some dignity. JAMON: I will point out that I'm moving out of this rental in a week because I had a house fire, Todd. (laughter) TODD: Oh, jeez. You can't pull a house fire out every time there's a criticism. KEN: The only thing in my background is my Harvard diploma (laughter) because it's all that anyone cares about. JAMON: Yes, exactly. Over my shoulder, I'm thinking about putting my not-Harvard diploma. KEN: "Narvard". JAMON: It'll just say, "Not Harvard." TODD: Sometimes we just invite Ken's Harvard diploma, instead of Ken, to meetings. (laughter) KEN: Yeah, I just put it in frame and then I walk out. (laughter) I'm like, "I'm just the janitor." CHRIS: I do have one final question, as we bring this episode to a close: Is there any tool that you use outside of remote work or in your daily life that you wish existed as a remote tool. KEN: Blow torch. (laughter) CHRIS: Elon's got that for ya. TODD: Not a tool, completely, but here's something ... I have ideas for tools that'd be cool in the future. We have the concept of "kitchen table". This is a real quick story; please, bear with me. The three of us ... I don't know if Ken was, but there was multiple of us of the company who were speaking at a conference in Paris. We rented a large Airbnb apartment in Paris, and a bunch of us were staying there. It had a very large kitchen table. When we weren't doing stuff individually, we'd all sit around the kitchen table, and we'd work together. We would just sit there, like you would at a library in a university or something like that, and work. We wanted to recreate that in ... virtually. The simple solution is we dedicated one of our Zoom rooms, the "Kitchen", to the "kitchen table" and you can't use that for anything else. If you just wanna be around people, but you're working, you're not really saying anything, as if you're in a library ... I guess we should do the library, but whatever ... you'd go in the kitchen table and just be around people. Sometimes people say things and have little conversations, like you would in an office, but typically you're just sitting there working together. That's cool. It's missing a few features which I'd love to see. For one is, if you're not ... Say there was a group of people working in an open office, and they're in the center and you're on the perimeter of the office. You see them working together there, the "kitchen table", now we have that, with our tool, we can see who's in the "kitchen table" and they're there. Great. But you can also, even if you're far away and they're dim enough ... not dim, but the volume's low enough that it's not disturbing, you can still hear them, and sometimes you'll pick up on little words that may interest you. They'll mention a project you're on, or they'll mention a personal interest that you're interested in or whatever, and you can choose then to go walk over and join them, because of that kind of low-noise but informational thing you're getting by being in the perimeter. I would love to somehow integrate that into our tool, where you could have a low-murmur of people in the background of the meetings that you're not in, and listen for things that might be interesting, something like that. KEN: I don't really know how to think about that question. TODD: I find it very interesting that none of us can really come up with a tool that we wish we had. That's a fantastic answer. KEN: I mean ... JAMON: I think there's probably tools that, eventually, we'll get that will be like, "How did we live without this?" But I don't ... I can't think of one. KEN: I can imagine in the future, basically a VR setup. JAMON: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Yes. KEN: If VR gets to the point where it feels natural; it's comfortable to wear the equipment, it's not a burden just to have the stuff on your head, and the resolution is to the point where you could have a virtual monitor in space, and you can have that feeling of actually being next to people. Then you could, in theory, have the best of both worlds, where you can drop out and leave the space if you want to. You can also be in the space and be available for that. JAMON: Yeah. KEN: I think that would be pretty nice, but ... JAMON: There is a tool out there that's ... I think they're, maybe, in beta right now. It's called Bigscreen VR, it's by a guy that I know, Darshan Shankar, who's on Twitter. I met him on Twitter. He's doing this Bigscreen VR system. It's very much what you described, Ken. Right now, it's only on Windows, and of course the VR headsets are still evolving. But apparently the new Oculus Go or Oculus Now, or something, is apparently quite good -- KEN: Yeah, they're getting better. JAMON: It's also likely, they said that within the next year, that it'll come to Mac 'cause they're working on it. KEN: I think another threshold, though, is the quote-unquote "retina" threshold, to where the resolution of the headsets is such that you can't, in terms of resolution, anyway, you can't tell the difference between that and something that you're looking at. JAMON: Yep. KEN: You could actually make a projected display without any compromise. JAMON: Yes. TODD: I agree, in the future that's gonna be wonderful. I do have some current ideas on how to add spacial stuff to our tools to give us proximity information of each other, virtually. Kind of what you would get if you were in a VR situation, but without having VR. Anyways, there's some interesting things there. KEN: Yeah, we've talked about making an ambient audio device, something like that, that can just sit there and ... Kind of like "kitchen table", but without the video. There's a bunch of things we've talked about, but not of them are things that exist today. They're just things that we've thought about creating or ... yeah.

2018 class takes on an ethnomusicology podcast! Angelina Megan

YIS: Melbourne fuzz monsters, YIS, have been kicking it around the traps for a number of years now, bringing their sweaty pysch rock being a staple of the Melbourne music scene since 2009. Made up of brothers Simon, Andrew and Matt (plus non-relative Brownyn) the band released the well-received ‘Kingdom of Fuzz’ in 2011. This set was recorded by Robbie Adams at The Tote in Melbourne in March 2012 and features hit after hit of fuzz-madness, including an excellent version of ‘(I Feel) Repulsed’. Recorded and mixed Robbie Adams at The Tote, Melbourne, 2012. Intercooler: Intercooler have been a staple of South East Queensland live music for over a decade now, releasing three great records and playing countless shows, even supporting the likes of Teenage Fanclub, J Mascis and The Delgados. A great live band who produce excellent pop-rock tunes taken from the mines of love, loss and desire. Tune in to hear a tune or two from the mighty Intercooler. Recorded and produced by John Robinson of Beau FM. Mixed by Matt Dever. Recorded at Big Sound 2011.

A new Hebrew song is sung in both English and Hebrew. It is a Messianic/Klezmer feel  it has a  basic traditional klezmer (traditional Jewish music from Eastern Europe, mostly from the Ashkenazi) structure.The song is based on the Scripture, "Hear, O Israel! The Lord Our God is One" and Psalm 25. It is very upbeat!Guitars, Acoustic Bass, Klezmer Clarinet, Klezmer Violin, Accordion, Drums, Various Percussion Instruments.Blessings to you,Shiloh Worship MusicWww.ShilohWorshipMusic.com© 2012 Shiloh Worship Music COPY FREELY;This Music is copyrighted to prevent misuse, however,permission is granted for non-commercial copying-Radio play permitted- www.shilohworshipmusic.comHear, O Israel!Hear, O Israel! Sh'ma Yisrael שמע ישראלHear, O Israel! The Lord Our God is One, Hear, O Israel!  The Lord Our God is One שמע ישראל יהוה אלהינו יהוה אחדSh' ma Yis-ra-eil, A-do-nai E-lo-hei-nu, A-do-nai E-chadO my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, Let not mine enemies triumph over meשמע ישראל יהוה אלהינו יהוה אחדSh' ma Yis-ra-eil, A-do-nai E-lo-hei-nu, A-do-nai E-chad Shew me thy ways; teach me thy paths.Lead me in thy truth, O LOrd teach me My Lord My Godשמע ישראל יהוה אלהינו יהוה אחדSh' ma Yis-ra-eil, A-do-nai E-lo-hei-nu, A-do-nai E-chad© 2012 Shiloh Worship Music COPY FREELY;This Music is copyrighted to prevent misuse, however,permission is granted for non-commercial copying-Radio play permitted- www.shilohworshipmusic.comKlezmer Music - The Basics:FROM:http://worldmusic.about.com/od/europeanjudaica/p/Klezmer.htmOriginally, the word "klezmer", from the yiddish language, meant simply "musician". However, it has come to characterize the style of secular music played by Ashkenazi Jews for joyful celebrations such as weddings.What Does Klezmer Music Sound Like?:Klezmer music is intended to replicate the human voice, including sounds of crying, wailing and laughing. It is generally the violin's job to do this imitation. Often, a klezmer band will include a fiddle, a bass or cello, a clarinet and a drum. Secondary instruments include hammered dulcimers and accordion.Non-traditional Influences on Klezmer Music:Klezmer music, though drawing on centuries-old Jewish traditions, also incorporates various sounds of music from European and international traditions, including Roma (gypsy) music, Eastern European folk music (particularly Russian music), French Cafe music and early jazz. In different regions of Eastern and Central Europe, klezmer developed slightly differently, leading to an exciting range of subgenres.

This is an article I wrote for edition three of Death Of A Scenester magazine. The theme was Space. Check out deathofascenester.com as well as www.wearethedotcoms.com and www.tenpercentmoreawesome.com 

Jeff and David catch up and plan the season. Essential Question From Morocco to Bangkok: How goes it? Links of the Week David: Check out the beauty of Morocco Jeff: Daneah & Jeff are interviewed at Women of the Web 2.0, Blended Learning (from Andy), K-12 Conference Chat Archive: 7:52 jutecht: Cool new chat features 8:04 mrichme: Hi guys from Arundel, Maine 8:06 jutecht: Hi mrichme.....good to see ya :) Thanks for joining us tonight. 8:06 jutecht: Liking the new ustream chat...good upgrades. ;) 8:06 mrichme: I would agree 8:11 jutecht: This is what I love about overseas living....the amazing cultures you get to be in. 8:13 jutecht: David's school: http://www.cas.ac.ma/ 8:18 atorris: hello gents! 8:19 jutecht: Hey @atorris....good to know ustream's not blocked or the website. 8:20 sarahgrace7: figured out how to login.  Hello from Beijing! 8:20 atorris: VPN my friend. I ma currently in the UK... virtually! 8:20 jutecht: Hi Sarah......thanks for joining us 8:21 jutecht: @atorris.....gotta love the VPN! 8:21 sarahgrace7: definitely love the VPN here in China 8:22 atorris: sarah... sshhh... it's a secret ;-) 8:22 jutecht: Interesting....never thought about the location of the international school have to do with more risk taking staff....there's some food for thought. 8:22 atorris: inshallah, inshallah 8:23 mrichme: I think that is a very good point. 8:24 jutecht: Our small school in Saudi moved quickly....but a lot of people were more the risk taking type...and of course we had a good admin. ;) 8:25 atorris: Jeff.. that guy in Saudi was nuts. 8:26 jutecht: I know.....crazy guy let me start a handheld program. 8:26 atorris: Our 1:1 IB teachers are struggling with the load of content and managing the need for them to spend valuable classroom time on teaching a few technology skills. Do you see this as an issue?? 8:27 atorris: Like I said Jeff... crraaazzzyy! :-0 8:28 atorris: Hi all!! 8:28 atorris: shhhhh... it is a secret! 8:28 atorris: ;-) 8:31 atorris: GREAT IDEA! 8:32 atorris: Captive set of kids to build skills with over time! 8:33 jutecht: That's a great idea...there's almost a month of school after the IB exams you could do some great tech stuff. 8:34 jutecht: @atorris....you on Skype? 8:34 atorris: Too early to tell at a deep level.  I have always found the kids to be very connected to each other in ways that one would not normally expect.  Common notes are common. 8:34 atorris: Google docs 8:34 atorris: wikis are everywhere! 8:35 atorris: our school is wiki crazy this year. 8:35 jutecht: http://www.coetail.asia 8:36 atorris: I have been approached by a stateside school on a collaborative project that is "cutting edge".  I had to tell the guy we had been doing that kind of stuff for two years running. 8:42 atorris: Ahhh... the dreaded h1n1 effect on PD! 8:44 atorris: Ughh... Edline! 8:44 jutecht: No.....not Edline! 8:45 atorris: i just read a report where a combo of traditional educational delivery AND online coursework delivers higher academic achievement! 8:45 atorris: I will try to find it. 8:48 atorris: Here it is: http://www.eschoolnews.com/news/top-news/index.cfm?i=59695 8:48 atorris: "Blended instruction" 8:48 jutecht: @atorris yep....blended learning is the future! 8:51 jutecht: http://www.edtechtalk.com/WomenofWeb2.0 8:52 atorris: Ahhh.... the Thinking Chick! 8:52 atorris: She's awesome! 8:55 atorris: RFID lockers???? Nice! 8:56 atorris: Give this kid some kudos if you get a chance! http://portal.saschina.org/video/media/8088/Biosphere_8_-_Cassandra/ 8:57 howhat: we're looking forward to having Kim at YIS this weekend 8:58 jutecht: She's excited to come! 8:58 howhat: I'll see I can find some IB teachers for you all 9:00 atorris: I will try to be available.  This is the first day I have been home in an evening in 3 weeks! 9:00 atorris: 12/2/09 See er... hear you then! 9:00 howhat: it's great having SOS back, thanks jeff 9:00 atorris: clear as bell here! 9:01 jutecht: That's good 9:01 jutecht: glad auido was great 9:02 atorris: zaijian! 9:02 jutecht: Later! 9:02 atorris: grrr........ 22 degree>>????  3 here today! 9:03 jutecht: Thanks everyone! Sign Off *Next show date is December 2 at 8:00 PM Bangkok time. *Justin Medved will join us. Look to add "sospodcast" to your Skype contacts list so that you can call and join in the conversation. *Essential Question for the show: How can the IB curriculum be shifted? *Don’t forget to post Web sites/blogs to the SOS Diigo bookmarking site that support our upcoming EQ.

Beginners.  It's very interesting going to another country and experiencing the culture, even if the people from that country speak the same language. Among English speaking nations, there are well known differences. Our accents are different, of course, and even expressions that we use are quite different from one country to the next. I picked up a few expressions when I was in New Zealand. 'Sunnies' is the name they give to sunglasses, which I think is very cute and cheery. Also, if you like to go hiking or walking, they call it 'tramping'. The word gives the action a different feeling. If you think about it, a tramp is a homeless person who wanders around, so 'tramping around' gives a feeling of being free and unattached. Well, I am interpreting the expression from the point of view of an English person. A person from the U.S, Ireland, or Scotland, might have a different interpretation. Another thing that I found out which is not an expression, but a physical fact, is that the water in the bath or shower goes down the plughole the opposite way compared to countries in the Northern hemisphere. How curious! Up here in the U.S it goes down the plughole in an anticockwise direction. In New Zealand, I noticed that in the shower, it goes down in a clockwise direction. It's one of the little differences that makes us all interesting. Grammar notes. Useful expressions: even if.., among, from one....to the next, to pick up, a tramp, point of view. Exs: Even if we go to the city, we won't have enough time to see everything. Among my neighbors, Mary is the most friendly. They passed the evidence from one member of the jury to the next. From what he had said, I picked up that he didn't like me. There is a tramp living under the bridge next to the park. Well, I understand your point of view, Sir, but I do not agree. Advanced.  My time in New Zealand was very short, but, in that time, I picked up on the tremendous friendliness of the Kiwis, as the New Zealanders are known. They are a very laid back nation, not rushed and stressed. They are also very polite, and have endearing expressions. "No worries," is a common expression that is used in many circumstances, such as when you ask for something, or as a way of saying "You're welcome". While I was there, I listened carefully to try to see what it is about the Kiwi accent that makes it different from the English one. One main difference in pronunciation is in short words that have the letter 'E' as the main vowel, such as 'yes', 'bet', 'egg', 'pest', 'leg', and 'rest'. The vowel is pronounced like an 'I', so the words sound like 'yis', 'bit', 'igg', 'pist', 'lig', and 'rist'. Also, words with the long 'I' sound like 'I', 'I'll', 'sky', 'fly' etc sound like they have an 'O' next to the 'I'. So, a sentence like, "Yes, I'll eat the rest of the egg," is pronounced, "Yis, oil eat the rist of the igg."  I was quite proud of myself for making that observation; I had never before been able to speak like a Kiwi or an Australian. Now, I can goof around at home and speak in a Kiwi accent to my family. It makes you wonder why different accents develop in the first place, doesn't it? Grammar notes. Useful expressions: in that time, to goof around, to make an observation. Exs: I lived in Spain for a year, and in that time I ate lots of delicious food. My children insist on goofing around in the supermarket. That student is very good at making observations, even about the teacher making mistakes! *Verbs in pluperfect: I had never eaten caviar before. I tried it at her birthday, and hated it. He had never been polite, so when he said "Please", I was surprised. We had driven on the left all our lives in New Zealand, but then we moved to France and had to drive on the right.