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Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2018 57:00

What's happening? I'm definitely, definitely going to have an amazing day. I was going to say something else. Where do you imagine that I put my AirPods? Did I leave them in the car? I'm definitely going to have an amazing day. That's been decided. It's done. It's how it has to be. Okay. I found one thing that I want. Oh, my AirPods are down my breasts. Where else would they be? Okay. Hi, Gayle. Lip gloss has been located. Now I've got to share this over. I'm going to talk. I'm going to talk about many good things. Just punctured two tyres in my car at once like a ninja. I don't do things half assed, you know. My laptop's not even turned on. Then I just threw my laptop on the ground while I was setting up this live show. Tell me something that's filled with love and excitement because I feel like I need to hear it. You know? Send me a love heart shower if you want to send me love for puncturing two tyres in my car at once. My car's down the back of the carpark down there. I'd walk over and show you, except I'd be embarrassed to do it in front of all the tradie men who were down there who already helped me out. Well, I wouldn't really be embarrassed. But then they're going to be like, "What is she doing walking around with a tripod? What's happening now? What is this crazy bitch up to?" Thank you for the love. So, I'm going to try and share this livestream. Let me see if it will let me hotspot. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. We'll be fixed soon. I know. It's so not a big deal. What do you do when you kind of get stranded? Obviously, you livestream. What else would you do? My friend Matt is a trainer here at the gym and I've messaged him. I'm like, "Hey. Where are you? Come out and hang out with me." But I think he's with a client. It's a normal thing to be doing as a personal trainer at 8:30 AM. So, I guess I'm just hanging here and livestreaming. Okay. Why does my hotspot on my phone just not work anymore? Marlene, Leslie, I love you. I love you. I can't wait to party with you in New York in a few weeks. Marlene, I just punctured two tyres in my car at once. I'm just like, if I'm going to do it, I'm all in. You know? I'm fricking all in. Where am I? I'm in, what is this area, Robina? Varsity Lakes? I'm at Robina Fitness First. There's my gym. There you go. There's the gym. You know, the good thing is I was already on my way to Mercedes. Never caught me live. All right. Well, clearly, I punctured both those tyres just for Liam because I'm super friendly and helpful like that. I like to be of service. I'm just here to be of service. I'm trying to see if, yeah, my hotspot's working, it's not working. We'll see if it's working. It doesn't know what the fuck it's doing. Retry now. Maybe Fitness First has wifi that I can hop onto. Sometimes they do. No, it doesn't look like they do today. I choose to believe that all things are perfect and as they are. Can somebody please share this into Daily Asskickery? Mim or Sam, if you're on here, because I did WhatsApp both of you before I jumped on live, can you comment and let me know that you're here and that you're sharing it? Because currently, I can't get onto WhatsApp on my laptop to check and I just don't know what's actually happening or going on. Sarafina, can you log into my Facebook? You can. If you can, can you log in and share this or can you tell Jessica to? Because neither Mim or Sam have heard my messages. Who is on live? Fina, can you maybe do that? I'm trying to see if I can do it. So, there's always a lesson in everything. I just punctured two tyres. Let's be honest. I was trying to screech out of the carpark at a million miles an hours because, of course, I was late. I'm always late for everything. I wanted to get here to the gym at 7:00 AM. Thanks for sharing, Liam. Oh, thank you as well, John. I love it when everybody shares for me. Wanted to get to the gym at 7:00 and I'm supposed to be at Mercedes at 8:00. Mercedes is only five or 10 minutes away from here. So, I get to the gym at 7:25, so behind my own schedule. I'm like, "Okay. All right." Thank you, Kiana. Jump in, do a quick workout, smash it out, had an awesome session. Everybody's sharing. You guys are all over it. Fina's driving. When you stop, can you share to my personal page? Don't worry. We'll figure it out eventually. Maybe this wifi will let itself work at some point or Mim or Sam should come online quite soon anyway. It's 20 before 9:00. So, yeah. So, I was super happy with myself leaving two minutes before 8:00. I'm like, "Oh, I'm going to be five minutes late to Mercedes." Then I just went, I clipped the corner of the car park right there. So embarrassing. There was guys around everywhere and I'm like, "Oh, my God. Stupid female in Mercedes." I felt embarrassed. But I just kept driving and then some tradies pulled me over and they're like, "Ah, you've punctured your tyre." Like, "Are you fricking kidding? It felt like only a small clip." Then I get out and then I've punctured two tyres, both on the left hand side. So, it's all fine. Everything's always fine and perfect. But I had to laugh because as I'd been rushing into the gym, I said to myself ... like I'm annoyed at myself that I was so late and so behind my on schedule. Then I reframed it and I was like, "No, Kat. Don't be annoyed at yourself because you've always been late." The amount of workouts where I thought I was going to do a full length workout and then it ended up being 20 minutes because I was always sitting there writing, which is what happened this morning. I was sitting blogging. So, I ended up late for my workout and that's happened for 20 years. But yet, I still have the shape I want, I have the business I want, I have everything that I want. Bronwyn, can you share this? Can you log into my Facebook and share this from my biz page in my profile to my personal page and to Daily Asskickery, even though everyone shared it there? Because I can't get my wifi on my laptop working. Then I need a call to action from Millionaire Mastermind as well. You might be driving or something. But if you're free, and can you comment and let me know if you're able to? Yeah. So, I'm like, "Everything's perfect. I haven't screwed up my life by being late all the time." Ella, no, I'm sorry to say. No. No. I know. But they were lovely. They are lovely. What am I up to? Everything's always perfect, right? It's always like, "Yeah, it's fine. I'll have a 20 minute workout and it'll be perfect." Thank you, Bronwyn. Then I come rushing out and then that happens and I'm just like, "It's kind of funny that I was just giving myself a little coaching session only 30 minutes ago about how it's fine that I'm always rushing and it's fine that I'm always late and then God's just like, 'We'll see about that. We're just going to send you a little message there to remind you that it's not always ideal to be rushing.'" Then I just thought, "Okay. Well, this is maybe a sign to be more present and be more in the now and give myself permission to be in each moment, even if I am late, that I didn't have to rush off and clip over the corner." So, the two truck will come within an our. I'll keep an eye out. They'll probably come while I'm on this livestream and then they'll take it to Mercedes where I was going anyway. So, I've been on the phone to Mercedes and they're like, "Don't worry. We'll have coffee ready for you," and you get the VIP service obviously when you got there. When I go there today, they're giving me a car service, which is why I was going. Now they're changing two tyres for me as well and they're going to try and sell me a new Mercedes. I shall let them attempt that, but as to what the outcome will be, I don't know. But they've been at me at it for ages. It's a great sales technique that you might want to employ into your business because they contacted me about six weeks ago. I was in America, though. They said, "Katrina, it's time to come in for your new Mercedes." I was like, "Is it? I didn't ask for a new Mercedes." Ella's like, she's finding the silver lining. "I'm hoping the two truck guy will be hot." I'm like, "How can it be time to come in for my new Mercedes? We've never had a discussion about that." You're so funny, Ella. Don't worry. I know where it all is. It's all there inside the gym and now it's all being seeing me sitting there with my car. Anyway, everything's fine. Yeah. So, they assumptively told me to come in and choose my new Mercedes. They're just upselling me. They gave me a date, even. Imagine you did this in your business. Why are we not all doing this in our businesses? They gave me a date and a time. They're like, "We've booked you in for such and such time. Come in and we'll take you in out in all the new cars or whatever. You can drive all the new cars." I was like, "Well, I can't because I'm America," right then when they gave me the date for. But I finally agreed to come in. Why not? The thing is, I'm such an easy sell. I'm the easiest sell in the world. I was that person at seminars. Somebody's going to need to back me up and let know if this was you as well so that I know that I'm not alone. But I was that person at seminars who was the first person to run to the back of the room and buy the thing. I was always running to the back of the room and buying the thing. I would even run to the back of the room before they did the sales pitch because I knew that there'd always be a special bonus if you're in the top three or eight or whatever for doing the sales pitch. I didn't even care what it was. I'm just such a buyer. I'm such an easy sell. Lakisha says, "So me." Please back me up, people. Give me a love heart shower. Give me a comment if you're an easy sell as well. I just love to be sold to. But I saw one of my friends once say that a good salesperson loves to be sold to and I fully agree with that. I was going to say I wouldn't buy anything I didn't need. That's completely bullshit. I've bought many things that I don't need and never used. Specifically, most courses that I ever bought in the history of time on the internet, by the way. So, if you buy courses and you don't do them all or finish them all, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Don't think that that makes you a bad person or that you're flaky or something like that because I think maybe we're just so fricking smart that we know where we should spend our energy and time. You might just get one thing from that course you buy, even if it's my content. Sometimes for sure, I bought a tonne of stuff that was definitely not the right course, not the right content. So, I just think that even back then before I knew anything about anything, and I still know nothing about anything, but I know everything about everything, even back then, I obviously subconsciously was so fucking intelligent that I knew where I should spend my energy or time. So, most courses that I bought, I never did, and look at me now. You don't need to feel bad about it if you don't complete content that you buy. All right. So, Bron, if you're still there, can you also just grab a call to action from the Millionaire Mastermind, even if you grabbed the PS from yesterday's blog and just drop it into the comments here while logged into the business profile and then pin the comment please. That would be amazing. Then let me know if you are there and if you can do it so I know what's up and what's happening. So, then what else should we talk about? Everything is always perfect. What if you believe that everything was always perfect? Okay, shared. You don't need to comment as you. Comment as the business page. You're commenting as perfectly however you're commenting now. But just pop in the call to action for the Millionaire Mastermind. Everybody watching, this is how you sell on a livestream. Well, you might not have a bunch of ninjas like I do who can post comments and share for you. I used to have to do it all myself and sometimes I still do. So, you can do it yourself or you can have ninjas. I have ninjas because I'm a ninja and that's why I've punctured two tyres, not one, because it's a ninja attitude. You don't go around puncturing one tyre. You obviously go all in and you do two. It's amazing that I didn't manage to do four at once. I'm still impressed at myself at how I even managed to do two at once because when he said one, I'm like, "Fuck. Really? It didn't feel like that big of a clip." I'm like, "Okay, fair enough. I believe it, obviously." Then I get out and he's like, "It's actually two. So, we can't help you. We can't change a tyre when there's only one spare tyre in the trunk." I'm like, "How is that even possible? How did I do two?" Rebecca says, "That is so me. I'm such an easy sell running, elbowing others to get to the back." Rebecca's just like, "Get out of my way, bitches." Puncturing one tire's totally for punks, [inaudible 00:12:16]. Exactly. Don't think I've finished a training series. Yeah. I have legitimately never once in my life finished a course that I did. Never, ever. Never once have I finished a course that I bought. Okay. I'm seeing everybody going to the gym, like people who I sort of know. You know when you know people at the gym, but you don't know them well? Everyone's looking at me and I don't know what they're thinking. They're like, "What is happening? Why is she livestreaming out at the front of the gym? I'm just that person at the gym that always rushes in and rushes out and barely says hello to anybody and now I'm just chilling. At least I'm not sitting next to my car, so it's not too embarrassing. Ella says, "Kat, I have a ninja star tattooed on me and I've also punctured two tyres at once." Soul sister. All right. So, from now on, if you puncture a tyre, don't even tell us about it unless you punctured two tyres, people, because we don't even want to know about your puncturing behaviour. It's just super low vibe puncturing if you're only doing one puncture at a time. They probably are looking at my boobs [inaudible 00:13:10]. I've noticed a lot of that his morning at the gym because I noticed this morning. Oh, my God. I'm going to tell you guys an amazing manifestation story when Bronwyn gets that link. Have you joined the Millionaire Mastermind? Because I want to tell you about that as well: www.thekatrinaruthshow.com, it's very windy, /millionairemastermind. Thekatrinaruthshow.com/millionairemastermind. There's just over 24 hours left to be amongst it. It's my High Vibe As Fuck Millionaire Mastermind, the mindset and the strategy of crushing it on life for driven creators and, no, driven entrepreneurs and crazy creators who just want more. You get my whole team supporting you and coaching you and mentoring. It's a monthly membership programme. You're not locked in. You get a over 80% discount for your first month when you join before we close the doors again tomorrow and so much more cool stuff. Bronwyn's getting a comment now, but that's a little overview of it. So, at thekatrinaruthshow.com/millionairemastermind. This is my super low cost membership programme that we've created for everybody where you're getting my whole team, all those ninjas that I just mentioned, supporting you as well. Tech support, Facebook advertising support, funnel support. One of my friends audioed me yesterday. She's like, "I have to join because I just find it so overwhelming even knowing which course to choose to learn Facebook ads or to learn funnels or to learn email automation or whatever it might be." She's so happy that I've created something where my team are teaching and supporting and answering questions, as well as me. It's fucking amazing. I'm very proud of it. So, you've got to get amongst that. But let me come back to this story about my boobs and what I've manifested there because I don't know if you noticed, but over the past week, I've talked a lot about feeling unsure of whether I made them too big. Okay, there they are. Hello. Who can screenshot this for me right now? Give me a comment if you're screenshotting. All right. I think I gave you long enough. Let me know if somebody screenshotted. We'll do it one more time. Okay, i feel like that's going to be important photo for something. There's still people looking at me over there. Who the hell are you? Bronwyn's just commented, logged into my profile. She says, "Who the hell are you?" Who the hell are you? I don't even know why it starts with that. I love when it just randomly starts with something aggressive and punchy. Okay. So, you can read that comment after. The pinned comment has the details about the Millionaire Mastermind. Thank you, Bronwyn. This is all divinely perfect. Divinely perfect that I punctured my tyres so I could do this livestream right now. Everything is just as it was meant to be. Okay. Thank you, Ella. Thank you for the screenshot. I'm so excited. I'm having the best day ever. I reframed straight away. Carissa, if you're going to puncture a tyre, make sure you do two. We've had a group discussion and we've decided that we don't want to know about it if you only puncture one tyre because it's super low vibe type puncturing. You got to go all in on your tyre puncturing. That's how it's done. Then you get stranded at the gym and then you do a live stream. Then when you go to Mercedes, they act like you've been in a hospital and bring you muffins and coffee and stuff. Okay, let's make sure we don't miss the tow truck arriving. Here's my manifestation story. All right? So, over the past week, it's been now eight days since I had my boobs done. Of course, I'm at the gym with my fricking sandman on grunting and groaning like a motherfucker. I did try a chest press. That didn't seem like a smart idea. So, I stopped. But everything else seems fine. I felt like they were too big. I really did. Now, all my male friends when I mention this to are like, "Please don't say that again. That's not a thing." Billy G. messaged me and said, "As a voice for all men, I want to let you know never again to say the words, 'They're too big.' It's not possible." Then I told Patrick. He was like, "No, that's not possible. That's not a thing." Every other male who's had the opportunity to comment on it has said the same thing. But I was honestly like, "No, I think I've gone too much." I think I'm now too much, too much. I'm already so much with the way I bling up and everything and now I'm too, too much. I've gone too much Gold Coast, too much. I was like, "All I need now is a Swarovski crystal covered Mercedes and then who the hell do I think I am?" Exactly like this comment says right here. Who the hell are you? Right? I was really legitimately concerned about it. Then on top of it, my whole body puffed up and bloated. I gained 10 pounds instantly in two hours. That's some magic fucking backward manifestation right there because I full abs and I was tiny on the morning of the surgery. Surgery takes an hour, not even two hours, and then later that day when I'm home, I'm like, "What in the actual fuck?" I literally gained 10 pounds in an hour, or in two hours. Imagine you could reverse that procedure. You'd be able to make millions. Well, you can reverse that procedure. It's just manifestation. But here's what I didn't notice, and I wonder if you noticed me doing this and you were like, "Oh, Kat. Oh, Kat. What are you doing?" If so, then why the fuck didn't you tell me? But you can tell me now. But I was totally wording it all through the week. All week long, I was saying, "I think I went too big." All week long, I was saying, "I feel so big." Do you know why I was saying that? The moment of vulnerability here right now. I feel embarrassed to say this, but I'm going to tell you. The reason I kept going on and on about it all week last week, and maybe you didn't notice, maybe you did, I felt I went on and on. I was going on and on like, "I feel so big, my whole body's puffed up, I feel all bloated and heavy." I was deliberately drawing attention to that because there's still that part of me who's the very insecure not good enough girl who feels like if I gain a teeny bit of weight, then people will think less of me and judge me or feel like, "What the fuck is up with her? What's happening there?" Even when I put the video up where I was pulling the drains out, my stomach looked so big to me and I know I'm not big and I wasn't big. I know that. But for how I feel, right? All my previous fucked up body identity stuff was coming up. What's funny is now I'm in such love and acceptance of myself. It's a true thing. Even though I was feeling that, I was still like, "And I do fully love myself and I know that it's fine and I know this will shift." But it did bring up some old stuff for me. So, I felt like I had to deliberately say it, right? So, even when I did that little video where I was pulling the drains out, I deliberately touched my stomach and said something about my stomach being bloated because I was like, "I don't want people to think that that's just how I now normally look or something." So, you might think I'm way too hard on myself. It's funny because I can have that thought process and say that and at the same time, love and accept myself fully. So, it's like I can see both sides of it and I have compassion for the younger me who legitimately lived in that reality and 100% would have felt like that. The younger me would have been devastated, no way would I have put the fucking video up, and would have not even gone out in public. I'm not even exaggerating or joking. Those are my fellow fitness junkies, cardio queen peoples from way back. I'm not really a cardio queen anymore, actually. Human women. Those are my fellow human women. Thank you, [inaudible 00:19:51]. I love that. Can probably relate, right? But then all week long, then I did filming with Matt. So, when you see episode 39 of Kat Unchained, which should come out maybe tomorrow, it was all about the reality of getting a boob job. I did some really good content there around how everybody should shut the fuck up about what women are allowed to do or not do with their bodies because even the backwards thing that people do when they're like, "Aw, but you're already beautiful as you are. Why would you need to get a boob job?" That's actually insulting as well, just in a kind of backwards way. So, I did a cool video about that. I got a video coming up about the reality of getting a boob job. Then we've got the Kat Unchained show coming out tomorrow, which shows the behind the scenes of that. What you'll see, even if you saw the trailer yesterday, you're going to see me going on and on about, "I feel so big, I feel bloated, my whole body's puffed up." Well, that's true, right? That did happen and it's protective because you get a whole bunch of stuff pumped into you during the surgery and your body is like, "What in the actual fuck just happened?" Then two big things got shoved into your chest as well and your body's like, "What the double actual fuck just happened?" So, as a result of that, your body's like, "Okay. Man all systems, sound all alarms, and bring all possible fluid from the entire of Australia and put it right here into this bitch." That's basically what happened. That's what it felt like happened. So, it's a pretty common reaction, though. So, I know all that. I wasn't worrying, like something's changed in my body or something like that. But it was like, "Okay, I just got to ride this shit out and I feel it's annoying. I hate being all puffed up. I want to be back to abs and back to tiny only." But I kept telling this story. I kept claiming it, right? I kept saying, "I think my breasts are too big." I kept saying, "My body's all puffed up." Then it wasn't until Sunday, I was going to yoga. Was it Sunday? Whenever it was, I did a livestream in the car outside yoga. I think it was Monday afternoon only. Right. It was only Monday afternoon two days ago. I did a livestream in the car and I must have caught myself or something and I was like, "Fuck. I'm manifesting this. Oh, my God." Now I'm going to laugh [inaudible 00:21:44] when the episode of Kat Unchained comes out because then I'm going to be like, "Listen to me going on and on creating this." So, only two night ago on Monday night, I went into yoga class and I just set an intention at the side of the class. I said, "What if I just decided that my breasts are perfect?" Because I did legitimately feel like I've made them too big. I went way bigger than I would've because all my friends and clients who already have boob jobs were like, "I wished I had have gone bigger." So, I listened to them, right? I'm like, "Okay." I went extra big. I went double D, 480. Most people when they get their first breasts will be getting 300 or 350 from what I've heard and established. So, I was really concerned that I'm not going to be happy. Then Saturday night, I was up all night long tossing and turning. I sympathy puffed up. Thank you. Potatoes keep my so lean. Why potatoes make me so lean, I'm going to talk about that in a second. So, Saturday night, I'm up all through the night, super restless, tossing and turning. You're going to laugh at me. I was like, "Maybe they're too big," and then I was like, "But they can't be because Kat, you always make the right decision and everything always works out perfectly for you." So, I was fully coaching myself through it with my underlying beliefs and things that I would say to clients. I'm like, "It's legitimately literally not possible that they're too big because you always make the right decision." Yeah, but the comment about how I look being irrelevant, I do appreciate that. But at the same time, it's not irrelevant because if something's important to me, then that's okay. I'm allowed to care about how I look. This is what I mean by those backwards compliments. I know that's not your intention, Claire, but when people say it shouldn't matter how you look and what's matters is what's on the inside, it's downplaying that we're allowed to care about how we look and that we're allowed to value that. It reminds me of how one time, it came out in my daughter's school newsletter, it said, "We got to make sure that the kids don't adorn themselves with anything or change their hair or anything like that because let's teach our kids how to express themselves with what's on the inside." I was like, "Yeah, and we can fucking express ourselves with our exterior as well. We have a body. We get to use it however we please." So, I just feel like we've got to be careful there because it's a kind of a backwards shaming. It actually is. That's what I was even talking about in my little video about getting a boob job. I know it's not usually intended at that, but it is because it implies that it's not something you should be concerned with or that it's a lower priority thing to be concerned with. What if everything that matters to an individual got to matter? Period, the end. What if we didn't grade things as this matters more, this matters more, or whatever, right? Anyway, so I stayed up all night coaching myself on the fact that, of course, I made the the right decision, even though it didn't feel that way at the time. Then I caught myself with the wording on Monday night. So, then I went into class and I was like, "Okay. I'm deciding that as of now, I made the perfect decision and my breasts are perfect and that my body is perfect and beautiful as well and that I'm fully in my body right now." That was only Monday night and I'm not kidding. Today's Wednesday morning here in Australia. Just now being in the gym and looking at my body in the mirror in my little shorts and gym outfit and everything. I was like, "Fuck. I'm not quite back to fully lean and ripped, but pretty fricking close in 36 hours after I decided that." But I've got to admit that the other thing I did is start to eat a fuck load of white potato. How we look does matter. Anything that matters to an individual matters. That's the whole point, right? There's no finite rules on what matters. So, the potato thing's just random. But I was thinking about why do I always feel like I find it a little bit harder when I'm on the Gold Coast to stay in shape. Then when I'm in Bali or when I'm America, I'm fucking ripped. I was like, "It's energy and it's my energy about being here and some sort of disconnectedness on the Gold Coast or something." There was some truth to that. Then I was like, "Oh." When I'm in the US and when I'm in Bali, I eat really big dinners quite a lot because I'm usually going out at night. I might not eat so much, or sometimes even at all, through the day. But I order a huge dinner and I always eat potato. White potato, not sweet potato. Sweet potato is not my friend. I could change that story, for sure. But sweet potato is not my friend. Currently, it feels that way. I just gain weight when I look at a sweet potato. So, potatoes absorb toxins. That's interesting. How did I not know that? I feel like I know everything, but I didn't know that. Thank you, Jodie. Got to read about that. Well, most people think potatoes are not a weight loss food. For me, they certainly are. So, I just remembered that. I'm like, "Oh." In Bali, even when I get my omelette in the morning, I get this particular omelette at the place I stay and it has chorizo sausage in it and it has potato in it and it has corn in it as well. Then for dinner, I pretty much always eat potato, especially in America because potatoes are like the official food of America. I think the whole food pyramid in America is made up of potato, right? Right. So. Yeah. So, then I just started to eat a fuck load of potato as of a day and a half ago. Not only do I love it and it tastes so good. Oh, my God. I've never put cinnamon brown sugar on a sweet pot- ... No. Don't have cinnamon brown sugar on a sweet potato. You know what? I don't even really love eating sweet potatoes. I don't mind them. I've had the sweet potatoes done that way. What is that? A Southern way or something? I've had that. I don't mind it, but it's always been something when I eat sweet potatoes where I'm like, "Eh." It just doesn't quite align with me. Sure enough, whenever I start eating them, even back in the fitness days when it would be an official part of how you're supposed to eat for fitness, modelling, or competing or whatever, it never felt quite right and I feel like I straight away hold onto fluid and stuff, like maybe I have a low level intolerance to them. The white potato thing at first, they didn't believe it because I started to eat a load of white potatoes. I just was following intuition. I just follow intuition with what I eat. I don't diet. So, I just noticed that I was starting to eat a lot of white potatoes from December last year in Bali, then in America, whenever I go there. I was just giving myself permission to eat what I want because that's what I do now. I just consciously choose to eat what I feel like eating. But I was like, "This is weird that I want so much potato and I was slightly concerned that I was going to gain weight from it. But I was still eating it because I eat what my intuition says. Then I was like, "Fuck. I think I'm getting super lean from all these potatoes." It just goes against what a lot of people teach. Ella's on her way here. She's going to come here and throw a sweet potato at me. Just bring me a regular potato. I'm not kidding. I've actually got potatoes in this bag right here. I just rescued my bag of food and stuff from the car so I don't forget to take it out when the tow truck comes and takes the car. Yeah. So, I don't know if it was the potatoes or the mindset or the manifestation. But it was a mixture of those things. Okay. So, now we can talk about everything is always perfect. I'm still thinking about potatoes. I'm like, "Bring me more potatoes." Even the other day, I went out for dinner. I'm like, "All right, I'm fully on the potato train," and I went out and I had steak and I had so much mashed potato with it, which everyone thinks is an indulgent comfort food that's not supposed to be good for you. The live training in the Millionaire Mastermind's at 9:00 PM tonight. Are you concerned that it's supposed to be at 9:00 AM? Because it's definitely at 9:00 PM. Maybe we should move that because now we've extended the countdown time until tomorrow. Or maybe we should just make it you guys better fricking sign up before tonight. Thank you for that reminder, by the way. The first live training is happening, no, I'm going to keep it tonight. So, sign up tonight. Don't wait until the doors close. The doors close tomorrow at midday at noon. So, that's going to be 27 hours from right now. It's going to be midday on Thursday, Brisbane time, which will certainly be 10:00 PM Wednesday night, New York time, just so you know. That's why you're here. Why are you here? Why are you here? Give me more explanation. Did you think it was at 9:00? Have I told people it's at 9:00 AM? It's definitely at 9:00 PM. I never do anything at 9:00 AM. It's very unusual for me to be on livestream at 9:00 AM. Like right now, normally, I'd be writing my blog or normally, I'd be training. Normally, I wouldn't be driving around puncturing my fucking tyre up. But it's obviously all this that was meant to be. Okay. I want to talk about the "what if everything was perfect" conversation. If you see tow truck in the background, make sure you tell me. Okay? I'm sure you guys would. I would see it in the background. If you believed that everything was always perfect and always just as it's meant to be, then wouldn't that just give you so much freedom? Right? Wouldn't it just give you so much freedom? Because even this morning, to be honest, I had to calm down the tradies a little bit. They were going on and on and on about it and it sucks or whatever. I was like, "Fuck." But I was like, "Okay. Well, it's fine. It is what it is." It's not like it was a big accident, obviously. Maybe I would have had a much bigger reaction, depending on the situation. Of course, I would have. But still, no matter what happens, if you bring it back to everything is always perfect and you always make the right decision, then what that does, and we'll talk about that belief system in a moment because it could be challenged quite easily, I mentioned, depending on the situation. That it means is that if you chose to believe that, that you give yourself complete freedom, right? You give yourself complete freedom to not get caught up in an energetic drain or an energy drain or anything like that and to be able to just take immediate aligned action on anything and everything that you need to take action on to be able to access high level creative flow. Let's talk about the belief for a moment of everything is perfect. It's literally something that you can choose to believe, right? You get to choose all of your beliefs. Maybe a load of people wouldn't want to choose that or wouldn't feel available to be able to choose that because they would be like, "But what about this and this and this and this?" Right? Particularly like legitimate situations that cause a problem or that are very upsetting or traumatic or worse, right? Here's where I'm going to be probably annoying as fuck. It's possible. I don't think that ever happened before at all. But it might happen right now. I reserve the right to have conflicting and contradictory beliefs. So, for example, if something really terrible or traumatic happens, the truth is that I wouldn't believe that it was perfect and I would have full blown human reaction to that. I don't know how I would process that. I've seen things happen in friends' lives and that's been very hard for me to process. Who here love 9:00 Kat livestream? Why are you so obsessed with ... Oh. Now you're talking about this one. I'm like, "Are you trying to encourage me to do a 9:00 livestreaming to the Millionaire Mastermind? Because I can't because I'm here." All right. Give a love heart shower in response to Bronwyn's comment if you love me livestreaming at 9:00 AM. Yeah. So, the truth is, I have found it really hard to process when full on things have happened in people's lives who I know, or even just in general sense when you hear about things. I can't say that I walk around feeling like everything is perfect and as it was meant to be and that was what was divined. So, that's where there's an element of mystery or an element of not-knowingness comes into the whole thing. I actually believe that as much as I love to know everything and feel that I do have access to the collective conscious, I do have psychic downloads, I do have the ability to channel or to travel and a lot of spiritual gifts and powers that people don't use or don't activate or maybe are scared of whatever and don't do all of that with an intention that it's coming from God, that I still, at the same time, accept and actually am happy to not know everything, to have things that remain mysterious, to have things where it hasn't been revealed to me yet and it maybe never will be. Right? You know the apple of the Garden of Eden, right? The fruit of the tree of, what's it called, the knowledge of good and evil. This being, I read a thing online. This is a little controversial. So, I don't know what your opinion is on this. But I read a thing that did resonate with me that spoke about a lot of, for example, [inaudible 00:33:37] and stuff, that it actually, it's kind of like an example of that. It's like the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. It gives you access to more information that you're not necessarily supposed to have. I sound pretty crazy conspiracy theorist, don't I? But something in me resonated with that when I read that. I was like, "Yeah. No, I feel that. I feel that there's supposed to be mysteries that are not shown to us. I feel that there's a load of information that we can access that we don't and that I access an insane amount of stuff from the collective and from my higher consciousness and from God and that sort of thing through how deep my inner work practise is. Many of my friends who've done plant medicine, for example, which is a lot of my friends, by the way, and a lot of my clients, and I always say, "If you're called to do it, you do it." Right? I don't tell people, "You should do this or you shouldn't do that." I say what I feel for me and I encourage everyone to make their own decisions, as they only can, right? But many of my friends who've done it have said things to me like, "You seem to already have that level of knowledge and that level of soul connection," because they'll understand my writing in a deeper way or feel that they really connect with me in a deeper way or they're like, "Holy shit. I can see in you what I just accessed from this experience. How did you do that?" Because I've never taken anything, not a single drug, not even weed, nothing. Not even a cigarette. Right? But plenty of coffee and plenty of wine. So, I go, "Okay. I think that I've created that through my really deep inner work practise that I have and the deep spiritual practise that I have, which is an everyday thing. So, I do have the ability to access higher consciousness, to access power that are beyond my understanding and beyond the abilities, or I guess beyond what most people would choose. But I still feel like there's this level beyond that, which is a complete mystery on many levels, beyond that which are a complete mystery to me and which will probably always remain a complete mystery to me and that that's okay. I think that the search for knowing all things is a slippery slope to go down and I think that it can be dangerous. So, I don't know how I quite got onto that. But coming back to what I was saying about everything being perfect. I guess what I'm trying to say is when I don't understand something, when I don't understand something, when I can't reconcile it, when I walk around every day going, "Everything's perfect, I believe that everything is as it's meant to be." So, then I puncture my tyres. I'm like, "Easy reframe, right? So easy." But what if something really full ... Okay. Somebody tried to phone me. Don't the people know not to do that? What about when something really full on has happened in the lives of people I know or when something like that happens in a worldwide sense or whatever? Am I walking around saying, "Everything is perfect and as it's meant to be?" I'm not and I can't really justify or excuse that to you. I can't really explain that except for the way that I just did explain it, which is that I don't have the answers to everything. I don't know. But there are things where I feel like that's not as it was meant to be or that's not perfect. Then the other part of me goes, "But maybe it is and I just don't see the bigger picture yet and maybe it's okay that I feel confused about it or that I feel like I can't explain it and I'm not supposed to be fucking God here and trying to explain everything to the whole world." But I will say that in general day to day sense, who loves to go to church with Kat in the morning right outside the gym? Narnia. Narnia is the best thing ever. Narnia and Alice in Wonderland. I will say that in a day to day sense, and even for, I guess, day to day things that typically really throw people off their course and really upset them or something like that ... That's a good point. If it calls again, I'll answer the phone. It was no caller ID, though. Why would have have no caller ID? Yeah, that's a really good point. I should have answered the phone. Okay. If I freeze, it's because I'm answering the phone. They'll definitely call again if it was them. Manifest. I don't know why it would be no caller ID, though. That's all. So, yeah. In a day to day sense, a lot of the things that I guess throw people or really knock them around or slow them down or cause a huge energetic drain are things where, if you had the belief that everything is always perfect and as its meant to be and that you don't need to necessarily understand why, wouldn't it just make it so much easier to, I guess, manage and deal with your life and to be able to then flick straight back into flow or flick into gratitude or flick into positivity and make aligned choices from that place? So, even last week, my friend Linda, who I know a lot of you follow and who's coming back to stay with me today, she left from staying with me on Monday of last week. My son did in fact put poop in her handbag, in her bag, in her travel bag, like actual poop. That was just a side note there. He loves her so much. So, she found that right as she was leaving and that slowed it down and it was upsetting, of course. It's kind of funny now. But it wasn't really that funny at all. It was pretty fucking disgusting. So, that happened to her, I guess. For her, if we're going to reframe everything and say everything happens for us, not to us. That happened for her. I know that's just a normal big ass truck. That's not a tow truck. Then she leaves and she travels to Brisbane to get on the plane to fly to Bali. She was so excited to go to Bali and really looking forward to getting back there. That's not my truck. Then she gets to the airport, all the way to check-in, and finds that her passport was missing from her handbag. Right? So, I get this really upset message from her. The cover of the passport was there, but the passport itself was gone. Different bag from the one my son was in, by the way. We still, to this day, don't know what happened to that passport. She's now still here in Australia. She's coming back to stay with me today. She had to actually travel down to Canberra because she has a passport from Finland, not Australia. She's not necessarily a citizen yet. So, she had to fly and get on a plane and travel back down to Canberra in order to go to the embassy there and then organise a new passport and now wait for the new passport to be flown out from Finland. So, her trip to Bali's been delayed by roughly two weeks. She still doesn't have the new passport yet. So, that was so upsetting. But she is such a perfect example of what we're talking about because I got an upset message from her in the morning like, "I can't believe it," and all that sort of thing, obviously. Then I think it was only middle of the day where I was getting messages from her like, "Well, I don't understand why this is happening. I feel really upset still. But of course, everything's perfect and there'll be a greater reason for this that will be shown to me." She just released it just like that and went back into an abundance attitude, into a gratitude attitude, into a mindset of expansion and receiving. Now, I'm not going to tell all her whole story. She's telling them already on her own livestream. But now, over the past seven or eight, nine days since that happened, so much powerful, cool stuff is come into play for her. So many things have taken place, been shown, been revealed that couldn't have happened if she had have got on that plane to Bali. She'll tell you herself. Massive up-levels and perfect growth. It's just amazing, right? But none of us are surprised. I'm not surprised. She's not surprised because we're like, "Of course," because the second that passport went missing, it is that immediate reaction of, "I can't fucking believe it. My passport is missing." That's like that short term reaction and then for me straight away, as well as for her ... Hey, Liana. First time live. Awesome. For me straight away, as well as for her, it straight away goes into, "But everything is as it's meant to be." So, that's almost like anticipation, right? Almost anticipation and excitement like, "Ooh. I wonder what's coming. I wonder what's happening as a result of this." Now, I listened this morning, actually. As I was getting dressed, I listened to an 11 minute audio from her that she'd left me last night at 11:00 PM. Maybe [inaudible 00:41:07] 11:00, 11:00 PM. I don't know. I was just smiling because I'm like, "Of course. Of course, all this amazing fucking stuff is happening." So, I'm sure she and I will livestream together over the next day or two because she'll be back at my house from today. Then same with this when I punctured the tyres. I'm like, "Fuck. Now I'm going to need ..." I'm like, "Okay, it's only tyres. But now I'm sitting here for a while. It's all covered anyway. I've got all the coverage and everything. But now it pushes my whole day back because my car's getting serviced today and I wanted to get there at 8:00 AM when they're opened so that you're first in line. Now I don't know how long it will take for the car service. But that's fine. There's 87 awesome café where they treat you like a queen and I'll just sit there and work all day and then the shopping mall's two minutes walk from there anyway. So, it's all fine. So, I reframed all of that. But then as soon as I got off the phone from Mercedes about the car, I was like, "Oh. Well, of course, you're going to livestream right now, right?" Really, what else am I going to do? I guess I could go back into the gym and do another workout, but I already did that. Or I text Matt, my friend. He didn't answer me yet still. So, I guess he's with clients. It's a busy period of the morning. So, once again, I was like, "Oh. Well, I'm not going to sit here getting upset or feeling sad or feeling down," like most people. Most people really do let something like that totally impact their mood and their attitude for their whole day. It would be such a story like, "My day is ruined, now my week is ruined, now this happened," or they would get into a story of, "Why do bad things always happen to me? What's wrong with me?" Then isn't it hilarious how that ... Well, it's not hilarious, but kind of, how they would just keep creating a whole bunch of shit as a result of that, right? It's just kind of crazy. Where instead, if we have the mindset that everything's perfect, then we don't go down that negative spiral. We stay in this positive space of abundance and flow and receiving and just knowing and trusting. So, can you see how choosing, choosing to have that attitude that everything is always perfect and that every happened as it was meant to, you don't even have to understand it, it probably will be shown to you and you will understand it and you will look back and you'll be like, "Oh, my god. That happened because of this, this, and this. Oh, my god. I'm so glad that that happened. I thought it was a bad thing, and of course, it wasn't." So, often, that happens in life, right? But even if that didn't happen, even if you never were able to look back on that particular incident and go, "Oh, now I can see where that happened," even if that didn't happen, can't you see how choosing that everything's perfect and just releasing it in that moment gives you back your power? This is a conversation about power. It gives you back your power. It gives you access to creative flow and super flow because when you're in this energy of, "Something happened to me and life's hard or it's sad or now I feel shitty or now my day is ruined," even something like, "Just today is ruined," [inaudible 00:43:41] then you're immediately in a contraction energy, right? You're immediately tense, you contracted, you're in a downward energy. So, automatically, when you're in a contracted energy, and I was saying this to some of my members yesterday on our training livestream, when you're in a contracted energy, your body is like this and it's like you're like this. Right? You cannot receive when you're like this. How are you going to receive? You're clenched up so tight and you're going to impact not just ... This is not just to do with your energy, right? You're literally like this. You will see that your posture will change. Look at people who live in fear and from fear. They have a different posture. They don't walk around openhearted like this. I practise my posture a lot, actually. That was just like the wind saying, "Let's have a boobs flash." I consciously keep myself upright, keep myself open. I look at the physical aspect of my posture. But for sure, also being in an attitude of receiving and openness impacts your whole body. It impacts your posture. I believe it impacts my age. I talk about reverse ageing a lot. I know for sure that a part of why I stay looking young for my age, so young, so young right now. So young right now. So young right now. I know. You don't have to say it. I'm just going to own it. I know that a big part of it is, well, it fucking decided to. But it's alignment, right? But it's also being in an open abundant attitude. It's also I just don't get stressed or upset by things very much. I'm not saying I never would, obviously. But I don't get ... Even yesterday, I did a big survey for my new financial advisor and it talked a lot about, "Would you get really stressed or upset if you lost a lot of money?" There was a lot of questions to do with your moods. In all of them, I was like, "No. I wouldn't. I wouldn't." I would feel annoyed, maybe frustrated temporarily. I wouldn't be like, "Oh, my god. The sky is falling. The sky is falling." I would be like, "Okay. Well, that was a fun experiment. It is what it is," and regardless of the sum of money, right? How can you do that? You can't do that just because you make a lot of money in your business. If anything, it's probably the other way around. Let me see if I can balance this tripod. I'm getting all clogged up somehow siting there. Do you hear that? Must be the wind. Where's the tow truck? I really hope I didn't ignore the two truck driver's call and now I'm just hanging here now all day and he's given up on me. But I feel like they would have called back again if it was him. What was I saying? I don't even know. Something about the reverse ageing. It impacts your whole energy systems. It impacts your digestion, it impacts your physical posture, it impacts your moods, your happiness. So, I'm able to ... A very high percentage of the time when you choose to live this way, then you'll be in a good mood is the short and simple way of saying it. But you can expand on that, right? You're in abundance mood. You're in a mood of happiness. You're in a flow. You feel good about yourself. You feel uplifted. You feel light and lean and clear and clean or whatever it is that you want to feel. So, don't you think that you would naturally then just make better choices, make more aligned choices for you, have more creative downloads, have access to greater knowledge? A lot of the things that create success in my life come as a result of I have a lot of awesome fucking ideas all the time. I have creativity and badass inspirational, empowering, entertaining content just running through me like a tap running through me. It never stops. I always know what to do, I fully trust in my decisions, I make fast decisions, I feel energetically light the vast majority of the time. So, that allows me to move quickly through time and space. I trust and believe in people, I trust and believe that everything's working perfectly. There was another question on their survey. It was like, "Do you trust that most people are good?" I'm like, "Of course." Right? I just choose all these things that put me in expansion. Now, some people might think, "Oh, well, that's a naïve attitude or that's going to catch you out or somebody's going to screw you over," or something like that. I just don't choose to be available for that. I'm just not available for that. It's not the way that I choose to see the world. If something did happen, then I would be reframing it like a motherfucker. I would turn it into content. I would turn it into money. I would monetize the shit out of it and then we'd be sitting here on a livestream together again. So, for me, all of this has been a practise that's taken much time over the years, I suppose. But it doesn't have to take a lot of time. It would have been very quick for me to do this if somebody had have taught it to me earlier, if I had have been conscious of it. So, that's what I'm here for for you, right? Just because it took me years to really get into my abundance attitude and to really understand how this stuff works and how easy it is when you let it be easy doesn't mean it's got to take years for you. You get to listen to me and if you resonate with it, if something inside of your soul says yes, then you go, "Yeah. I'm just going to adopt that attitude right away. I would have just adopted that attitude right away if somebody would have told me. Maybe they did and maybe I just wasn't in a place to listen, right? Where's my tow truck? Where is it? How long have we been on here? I haven't been here for an hour, have I? It said the tow truck's coming in an hour. Man, I'm clogged up. It said within an hour. Okay. So, I just feel like this is such an important conversation. Actually, here's something I want to tell you about the Millionaire Mastermind as well. I haven't spoken a whole lot about what my role is in the Millionaire Mastermind. I was joking on yesterday's livestream. If you didn't watch yesterday's livestream, I was on fine form. I was hilarious as fuck. You definitely want to watch it. It was only 20 minutes. It didn't go into church like this. It was like I was being super random and crazy. I was funny. I watched the replay. I do watch my own replays. Then I laugh or then I'm like, "Damn it, that's good content. I should write that shit down," because it just comes through me, right? Oftentimes, I don't remember what I said at all on a livestream. So, I'll watch the replay. So, watch that. But one of the things that I said on yesterday's livestream was that I'm selling you nothing because I was laughing about the fact that I didn't promise anything. Basically, my role in the Millionaire Mastermind is that I'll do whatever the fuck I want when I want, how I want, and with who I want. I would just show up like a rockstar and bring my energy and bring my awesomeness. So, I was joking about how cool it is that you can create a whole programme and do a launch and sell a programme where you're literally selling nothing. I'm not promising and I would deliver plenty of it, though. Then people are signing up front and centre. Then I was like, "Okay. Technically, it's not nothing," because it's an insane amount of training, all the support, every single thing that we do here at The Katrina Ruth Show, talk to you month by month, monthly report and what we've been doing that very month, how we've been implementing it, and how you can implement it too. From the ninjas, right? Not me. My team are teaching the magic that they do. It's just going to be so fucking next level incredible. I'm so proud of it. I'm so excited. But as far as what I'm doing, okay, well, I do nothing because all I do is be me. But if I want to try and explain it to you, I guess, which I feel like doing right now, so I will, then what my role is in the Millionaire Mastermind is to be the light and to be the leader and to be that example for you of what's available and what's possible. So, the vast majority, if not all of what I'll be teaching on and creating trainings for you on and working with you on and having discussions with you around will be this sort of stuff, the inner work stuff, and how do you step into those beliefs? How do you step into what's inside of you? How do you say yes to your soul? How do you do that fast or as well and without hesitation? No, those are the tradies, Lisa, who helped me out before. No. How do you access it all? How do you access higher power? How do you access higher consciousness and all that good stuff? That's what my role is. So, it will be about me being in the energy space of the Millionaire Mastermind. The Facebook group's already open, by the way. When you sign up today, you're going to get into the Facebook group right away. You really want to sign up today because we're doing the first live training 12 hours from now. Approximately 12 hours from now. But then the doors are open for 26 and a bit more hours from now. Correct, Ella. Right? Thank you, Lisa. Yeah. So, you've still got a full day, just over a day to join. But sign up now. Right? We'll hit you hard with the reminder emails and social media before the doors close tomorrow. I just don't understand why you would not take fast action. If you want to see me being a total smart ass about not taking fast action, then go watch yesterday's livestream. I was being quite irreverent. Yeah. Then tonight, we'll do the first live training and the topic for that is on the sales page at thekatrinaruthshow.com/millionairemastermind. So, what my role is is to really lead the way with the energy of what's available, right? I've got my amazing team coming in and breaking shit down for you and teaching how it's done, exactly how to do it, exactly how to implement, exactly what it is that you need to do. My friend mentioned to me yesterday, I think I said at the start of this live, she mentioned something about being so grateful that I've created this where my team are there so that she doesn't have to try and figure out who to learn Facebook ads from or who to learn funnels from or who to learn selling from or who to learn the other things that are not really my area to teach, right? Everyone knows that I'm here to be the leader and to work with you on mindset and success and deep, solid cellular transformation. That's what I do. Cellular and soul shifts. So, I'm not going to teach funnel stuff. I will jump in and talk about these things from time to time. I have done it in previous programmes and I still will. But it's not my area to break it down and teach it. I'm simply not going to teach it in some kind of step by step fashion that you can then implement because it's not now my mind works. Right? I would try to do that and the next thing would be off on a deep soul shift conversation and everybody would be thrilled and it would be exactly what you need. But yet, at the same time, if you want to know the breakdown and the how to do it and the what you even need to do or give your attention to, then you probably are just not going to ever fucking get that from me because then you're going to be like, "Ah, let's just talk about soul stuff." Then you're going to be like, "That shit doesn't even matter." I simultaneously believe it doesn't even fucking matter because I know that my results come from inside and that's where yours come from as well. I fully believe that whilst at the same time understanding that you want to learn it and that it does matter and that it's really helpful to learn. So, I told you. Contradictions, right? So, that's what the team do and so much other cool stuff that you'll read about when you go to the sales page. Then my role, like I said is to be the light. It's to be the leader. It's to be magnetic as fuck. It's to be all that I am to empower you to be all that you are. So, I'll be coming in, I'll be the energy of the Millionaire Mastermind every day anyhow because it's obviously there on my Facebook. So, I'll be noticing and I'll be seeing and I'll be seeing where the limiting beliefs are and where the patterns and where the sabotages and where you're maybe asking questions that are pointing you in the wrong direction and I'll be able to guide you. Yes, the Millionaire Mastermind is the High Vibe Mastermind 2.0. So, High Vibe Mastermind didn't have my whole team coming in there. We had a few little individual trainings, but it wasn't a membership programme that was ever designed to teach all these different things with the whole team. So, it was time to move on. It was time to become better. It was time to improve. So, the Millionaire Mastermind is actually called Katrina Ruth's High Vibe As Fuck Millionaire Mastermind because it's 2.0. Yeah. So, I certainly have many ideas of things I want to cover in there. But it will be very flow based and it will be very guided month by month and week by week and day by day and very much guided by what I'm picking up in the energy of the group and what's going on. I'm really excited for it because this is the way that I work with my private clients where obviously, I don't say in advance what I'm going to do with them because it depends on what's going on at the time. So, that's exactly what will be happening with the Millionaire Mastermind. But even more in that broader format. Then incredible, incredible support from my amazing team. So, anyway, I'm going to jump off this livestream. I feel like we've done an awesome livestream conversation together. Thank you so much for being here. It is, it can't be 9:29 AM, surely. Is it already 9:29 AM? Does that mean ... Fuck. I've been livestreaming for an hour. I'm just looking at my times here. So, I might call back or see if I got a text from them. If it was them and I didn't answer the phone, they would have texted me and I turned my notifications on, so I would have seen that. So, that didn't happen. So, maybe I'll go inside and harass [inaudible 00:55:33] or I'll just chill out here. But I feel like the livestream's done. Thank you so much for being here. Go to thekatrinaruthshow.com/millionairemastermind, check it out, get in on the 26 hours until the doors close. Don't be the person that waits to sneak in over the final line. You'll still get everything. You'll still get the replay from tonight and all that. But one of the things I want to really teach you and support you around is learn to make rapid decisions from gut. If something's right for you, if your soul is speaking to you, say yes now. Don't hesitate. Ultimately, if you say yes to your soul, you get the benefit of that. But what I've learned is that when you say yes to your soul right away and you choose to do it without hesitation or with minimal hesitation, even when it feels scary, then you start to see your rewards exponentially increase because you're just not living in that constantly low state. You're making a statement to God, to the universe, to your higher self that you are ready to receive. So, if you're ready to receive and you're ready for your abundance and you know that the Millionaire Mastermind is for you, read the pinned comment. It starts with, "Who the hell are you?" I'm not even sure why, but it sounds aggressive. It sounds important. Read it and then go to thekatrinaruthshow.com/millionairemastermind, check out my High Vibe As Fuck Millionaire Mastermind. It is the mindset and the strategy of how to crush it on life for driven entrepreneurs and crazy creators who just want more. That's me. That's you. Don't forget. Life is now. Press play.

DFA Tips from Duane Benson at Screaming Circuits

OnTrack with Judy Warner

Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2018 46:15

Duane Benson from Screaming Circuits shares DFA Tips and a piece of history as he shares the story behind the scenes in developing quick turn prototypes. Listen to learn how one entrepreneur brought fresh perspective to the business that led to great success. And see why Screaming Circuits is uniquely positioned to handle all the leading edge components that PCB designers have available. Show Highlights: Screaming Circuits was founded on the premise to get prototypes built quickly. It was a struggle to get small volume prototypes built and a market need was discovered. For prototyping - going abroad invites its own set of risks. A traditionally 6-8 week process, Screaming Circuits does in hours. We don’t specialize in a vertical industry, so we see a lot of the leading edge components. Layout isn’t taught in schools or its self taught. The experts who knew how to make layouts work perfectly have retired. We built a business around stuff being wrong. Stuff isn’t going to be right when it arrives to us and we have to fix it. Why are we having a problem sourcing parts? Personal interests? Photography and decaying industrialism. Links and Resources: Screaming Circuits Website Screaming Circuits Blog Downloadable Circuit Talk Twitter: @pcbassembly, @duanebenson Screaming Circuits on Youtube Hey everyone this is Judy Warner with Altium’s OnTrack podcast. Welcome back to another podcast session with us. As always we have another incredible guest with us today but before we get started I wanted to invite you to please connect with me on LinkedIn. I'm very active there and share a lot of resources for engineers and PCB designers and also - I don't think I shared this in past podcasts - but we are also recording this on YouTube as well as just an audio. So you can always go to YouTube and go to the Altium channel, look under videos and you'll find these also in video format if you should prefer to listen to this and watch it in video format. And also with Altium, you can always follow us on Facebook LinkedIn or Twitter and we love engaging with you. We always love to hear from you about subject matter experts or subjects you'd like to hear or learn more about. So, without further ado, I'd like to welcome our guest today who is Duane Benson of Screaming Circuits, out of Canby, Oregon, correct Duane? Canby that's correct. So Duane welcome, we've crossed paths for several years now and it's a delight to have you and learn more about Screaming Circuits and EMS and how designers can do things to to be more effective in the design for assembly and just learn about Screaming Circuit’s model, which is a very unique model by the way, I'm eager to jump in. Well thank you I'm really happy to be here thank you for asking me to participate in this. My joy. So why don't you start out by telling our listeners a little bit about who and what Screaming Circuits is, because it really does have a highly unique model, and kind of the why behind you guys started the company and created this model? Well it started back in 2003, actually that fifteen years ago now. Yikes.. Yeah, I know, how did that happen? So about that time our parent company Milwaukee Electronics they had a number of customers that were struggling to get small volumes of prototypes put together back in the back in the olden days - if I can use that term. Prototypes quite often were sort of slotted in on an ‘as available’ basis. So say you might need five prototypes and the EMS company would say, well we’ve got a big run going on and I can put you u on the machine in two weeks so you can get your prototypes then. And two weeks come along and something else came up, so another week... Even going back before that, back in my day they didn't focus, for example, building a prototype.We'd have a big bag of parts and some blank circuit boards, and we'd hand them to this poor technician on a Friday afternoon and the engineers would go, could you have these built up by Monday? So it was becoming a real struggle to to get prototypes, get small volumes of any sort built and a couple of our customers came and asked us and said, can you can you help us out with this? It's just not working and the Milwaukee Electronics’ management thought about it a little bit and thought, why can't we short-circuit the process? No pun intended right? Laughter. So the management experimented a little bit and then decided, , there's an actual business here. So back about that time they brought Jared Store out here to start up what they called the Screaming Circuits division to focus specifically on getting prototypes done quickly. Mm-hmm. And , from that time the initial focus of the initial business was basically Jared with email and phone and one of our partners Sunstone Circuits, they built the blank circuit boards - the raw fabs. They'd give us a call and say, hey one of our customers needs some prototypes built, can you guys do it? And that's how the business started. So you guys created the synergy. Now I've had the pleasure of meeting Jared once at least, through the phone and email and Jared was young right? He was the son of the owner so, I have to insert that. Because I kind of love that those of us who are kind of old dogs in the industry - I kind of love that he said, well why can't we do this? And he just kind of, like you said, a phone and a thing and just said why not. Because he wasn't constrained by the way things were done in the past which I kind of love that. Exactly he was a young entrepreneur, in fact, I don't know if he'll want to admit this but this was his first job out of college this was kind of an experiment for him to get into a career, into business and he did a fantastic job. Basically by ignoring all of the old rules. I know yeah. Yeah and then in 2004 - well somewhere between late 2003 and early 2004 - we first went online with a very, very simple quote system. We boiled it down into six different factors and based on that, came up with a quote and it was all kitted at that point. So we'd say, hey it's going to cost you this much, send us your kit, send us your files, and we'll build them up for you. Now since that time, when we were talking earlier, it seems like it's morphed into not just specifically prototypes but just quick-turn. It could be quick-turn pre-production quick-turn production even right? Yeah The world of manufacturing of electronics has really changed in the last decade and a half . There was a time when electronics were not going to be designed and built in this country. Back in the 90s, when I was working for InFocus again, everybody was outsourcing everything and then over the next decade after that, it was all going going away. Yeah. And there was going to be nothing but high volumes manufactured offshore. Well about the time we started doing this, coincidentally the open-source hardware movement came about with the Arduino and some of the other things that came with that. Kickstarter showed up and that really changed the hardware design dynamic. It lowered the barriers to entry to building a hardware company and over the last decade and a half the hardware startup has come back with a vengeance. The problem is, as manufacturing is really, really expensive - unless you're doing super high volumes - so these companies would run a Kickstarter, they'd sell a thousand of an electronic board and nobody would build it for them. So then, , they'd then run off into into Asia and they toured all these shops and these people would either say, no that's not enough or they’d change the design, steal the intellectual property and, you can't. There's little details like that so, getting a hundred or a thousand or five thousand is extraordinarily difficult. And yet there's an awful lot of companies that sell just that many of something. Yeah, it's really interesting that it morphed into that niche right? Yeah. You had, it sounds like you had everything, in place to fill it right? You'd built it to do address prototype - traditional prototypes - and as the market changed you were kind of ideally positioned to address those kind of start-up Kickstarter things. So you and Sunstone have worked together in parallel, I take it throughout this process? Yes they've been our partners since the beginning, and at this point they build the vast majority of our circuit boards and we do, if necessary, go elsewhere. Or if a customer sends us the boards or requests something else, but the vast majority of our boards are built by Sunstone. They're about ten miles away over in Mulino Oregon. Another big city like Canby… Laughter - well compared to Milano Canby is the big cities... Yes well it's a beautiful area. So, tell us about what you would see in a given day and then I would like to ask you to jump into speaking to designers that may be listening, and go into kind of some DFM tips and tricks. But before we do that, tell us about what are you going to see in a day? To get a picture of what happens there at Screaming Circuits there's two factors that are pretty important. One is a traditional EMS company. We we see about as many different jobs through here in a week as a traditional medium-sized EMS company we'll see in a year. Wow! And the other factor that's important to notice, is that in - using that term the olden days - getting a quote and an order for a project might be a three to four week process going back and forth with all the files, component availability, making sure the design works and then after you place the order, you've got the NPI process which is another three to four work weeks. So, you've got a six to eight week process that we do in six to eight hours. How is that possible? I mean we may not have enough time here Duane, but I've been in the EMS industry and it’s an extremely complex process, just getting the components you need and making sure they're right and there's not obsolete parts, and that you've got a clean BOM, and it's so complex. How have you condensed it without giving away your secrets? Well there's a lot of things that matter if you're building a hundred thousand of something or a million of something. At that point fractions of a penny count and you're going to spend a lot more time quoting. You're gonna have to worry about getting large quantities of components if you need 20 of a board you can go to Digi-Key and get the parts for a buck, that would cost you a quarter of a penny if you bought them at high volume, and that's still fine now, that's part of it and then you don't have to worry about some of the inefficiencies that would absolutely kill a high-volume manufacturing manufacturer. You don't have to worry about those because if you have to tweak things by hand, while that is more expensive per unit, if you're building 20 or a hundred or a thousand it doesn't matter quite so much. So really what we've done is, we've stepped back and we said, what is important and what is not. The objective is to get working boards into an engineer's hands as quickly as possible and you'll notice there aren't things like how do we make it the absolute least expensive, or things of that sort, it's about getting the working board's as quick as possible so you focus on just the things that matter for that. Right, you mentioned when we talked a few weeks ago, about it becoming what you had called a transactional model, which is really a different industry and you can go online, place your order in a very transactional fashion, but it also speeds up your time to market, and gives you something highly valuable? Yes it does, we don't we don't spend an awful lot of time on the financial component of it. For the most part you give us a credit card and we start building so we don't have to worry about the bank component of it. For larger companies we do, because some people, the government or whatever, they have to operate that way. But for the most part you just give us a credit card and that again cuts some time out of it. We also look at each order as an individual transaction, that's why we call it transactional manufacturing, or unforecastable. We don't have to worry about the fact that you're not gonna need exactly 500 every month for the next 24 months. In traditional EMS, you have to worry about that, you plan for that. We don't worry about that, we don't care. Yeah it's interesting as well it's neat model and I see it as a real enabler. So, congratulations to you guys. All right, let's dig in and give our listeners that are designers and engineers some tips around DFA. The way that you and I originally came to know each other is, I had been blogging and writing and then I came across a little publication you put out called Circuit Talk in which you were doing what I was doing, which was giving designers some really immediate tips to apply to make their jobs hopefully a little bit easier and so, I think you've done a really nice job of that. So can you talk about why you started Circuit Talk and then go ahead and share some of those tips or tricks that are around design for assembly that's gonna make designers’ jobs easier and smooth the time to deliver a good product in time to market. Well thank you. You know the volume of jobs that we get - it does lead to chaos of sorts - but it also is a huge advantage in that we get to see every single mistake that anybody's gonna make. We don't specialize in a vertical industry so we don't only see mistakes related to a certain type of component tree. Name a component that's leading-edge, we've undoubtedly seen it and, so we see these things - and it's not just beginners, it's not just experienced designers, it's not just big or small or university - everybody makes the same mistakes. It's so complex and there are so many variables, so many new types of components. Geometries are shrinking and in parallel to that people have less and less time to design these things. Quite often layout isn't taught at schools, or it's self-taught. The experts who knew exactly how to make a layout work perfectly have retired now, or they've been let go, or things have changed so fast they can't keep up. Mm-hmm. So we see these problems every day. Case in point, one that I write about quite often relates to the QFN Quad Flat-Pack No Lead, and then the DFM. The DFM leads along one side. They have this big metal heat slug in the middle, looks like a very simple component, it's cool, it's small, has great signal characteristics. But most of the CAD software, when you try and use a QFN, the footprint is wrong. It comes from the library with the solder paste layer, not designed specifically for the component, so you've got to imagine flipping a QFN upside down. You've got a little row of contacts around the outside - very small - and then a big giant heat slug in the middle that covers almost the entire component. So most of the library components we found have a full aperture opening, so the solder paste layer is completely open for that heat slug in the middle. And what happens is you end up with too much solder in the middle, so the part floats up and the connects on the side don't connect. Oh boy. Yeah and this is even more prevalent with some of the open-source CAD software, or some of them with a lot of user-generated content, nobody told those folks how to make the footprint properly. I see. Quite often the manufacturers, in their data sheets, even specify it that way. But what you need to do is, to modify the footprint so in that center pad, you get somewhere between 50 and 75 percent paste coverage. So, you take out the default paste layer for the center pad and you put in a little windowpane-looking thing - problem solved. Interesting. Yeah it's a little scary, unless you have a partner that's on the ball to what you can accidentally pick up off a data sheet or how to interpret that data right? So okay well, that's a good one. Another one we run across these tiny little micro BGA's 0.4 mm pitch, some of them even 0.3 mm. I've actually seen a 0.24 mm pitch BGA. Yeah, some of the rules change with the bigger BGA's. You want non-solder mask defined pads, so you want the solder mask opening to be slightly larger than the little pad where the BGA ball’s gonna sit down. Yeah. With some of the 0.4 mm pitch BGAs, you want solder mask pad or defined pads, otherwise you get bridging. Oh yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, it kind of depends on the geometry of the solder ball, but that's a pretty common error as well. So you see these things that component manufacturers haven't fully studied, haven't fully published and they are just setting people up for problems. Yeah, and what I have found - and not just in relation to components - I have talked to people who manufacture either components, or they manufacture laminates, and what's not widely understood is that sometimes the studies they’re doing is us. Yeah we’re their guinea pigs. Yeah, and then we yell and scream and we give them back data and then they produce overtime accurate data sheets. I was stunned to hear that, but it's absolutely true. They need to get stuff to market because the market is demanding it, and the testing is so complex and so widespread, and the applications are so widespread, that they can only go so far. And then the rest of the data has to come from real world. Yeah the the hardware industry really is paralleling what the software industry did. We had open source software then open source hardware. With software, we started calling it ‘beta test the world’ because you couldn't beta test anymore, it's too complex. Right, it’s too complex, so we become the beta testers and I don't think that's often understood. When I first understood it my jaw about dropped because I'm from the old school, like you are and it's like; wait nothing would ever go out that was not fully vetted or understood and tested, and things have just gotten so complex. And so there's just a hard limitation there, it's not a bad business practice or whatever, but it's a reality that I think is wise for designers and engineers to keep in mind - another encouragement to work closely with people like you, that can say, we've seen this already a bunch of times, we know what's going to occur here. Yeah we've built our whole business around everything being wrong basically, start to finish. It sounds kinda funny, but It's all about this stuff probably isn't going to be right coming into us, so we've got to figure out how to make it work. I don't know, like what happened to the world Duane? This is not how we started but here we are. Another thing you talked to me a little bit about, you had mentioned one time in a conversation, about polarity markings. Oh yeah. That's that's maybe third or fourth in terms of the issues that we see here with diodes especially. Capacitors somewhat, but diodes even more so. Any kind of ambiguity, when you're dealing with machines, it's a problem. If you've got a barrier diode for example, it's backwards from what you would consider a conventional diode. So if someone marks it with a plus and it's a barrier diode and they're expecting us to know whether the plus goes to the anode or the cathode, we're gonna put it in the conventional manner, not knowing it's a barrier diode it's gonna be backwards so you can't use a plus to mark a diode. You might think minus, Also, does that mean negative or is that the lion on the diode symbol you can't do that because it doesn't tell us anything you've got to say K for cathode not C - because then we might think it's a capacitor, or the full diode symbol the down - lot of people will put in silkscreen, the mark that's on the bottom of a surface mount diode... Uh-hu. -which at first glance seems like it makes a lot of sense - but only if you give us the exact diode that you got the marker off of. I've seen two diodes 0.603s in the exact same package from the exact same manufacturer just a couple characters off, in the part number, and literally, on one the mark is the anode mark on the other it's the cathode mark. I've got to I've got to do a datasheet and I have a clipping from that data sheet on the Screaming Circuits blog that shows that it's got this part anode mark, this part cathode mark. I made the same mistake myself. On one of my boards I put the little marker on there and I gave gave the company the orientation and the CAD files, and then I made a substitution because one part was no longer available and used the other one - same thing but it was backwards because I went from cathode mark to anode mark. So, remove ambiguity. A few years ago I would say, it's okay to mimic the silkscreen - just give us the exact part. But with supply chain availability being such an issue right now, I would not rely on the mark that's underneath the diode because they can reverse if we have to substitute something. Okay I'm gonna put a pause there and talk about what the heck is going on with supply chain. Stuff about diodes like these, very basic building blocks to design, why are we having problems sourcing parts? Well we've been told a couple of things from suppliers. One is, they're telling us that the automotive companies are buying up literally an entire line. They'll come to a component manufacturer and say this particular part: I need all of your production, all of it and so there it goes out of stock. Internet-of-Things companies - the super, hyper-mobile devices are also causing issues because they're increasing the demand in the super small components. Well then the companies that make the parts don't have fab capacity to also make the larger ones so, some of the component manufacturers are telling us that they're going to stop making some of the bigger form factors 1206s 0805s even 0603s may become even more and more scarce because if they can make 0402 or 0201 to cover all that range they'll do it and not make the other form factors. Holy... I don't know what to say about that - if I was a design engineer I'd be freaking out - this puts people in a really tough spot! It really does and it's gonna change the way some things are designed. We have always had a policy that we will not substitute anything without explicit approval. Even looking at a bypass capacitor - 0.1 microfarad 16 volt bypass capacitor - in some cases you need exact parameters. There’s parameters you need to be exactly the same so you can't substitute. But there are also plenty of cases where it's just sort of by guess and by golly: yeah it's a 0.1, it could be 16 volt, 10 volt, 25 volt, 50 volt, whatever. If that's the case, people are gonna have to start being really flexible in terms of what they will accept for a component and maybe at some point the industry will have a flag on a bill of material that says: this one's engineered so it has to be exact. This one, just make it close. Another thing, our industry is changing so fast, it's just a big reason why Altium and I've decided this podcast would be a good idea. Same reason why your Circuit Talk publication is a good idea because it's like we can't get the education out fast enough or get the news out. Like holy cow, why can't I get this capacitor? It's not a unique form factor specialized BGA they're capacitors! This is like bread and butter, so it's been puzzling to learn about that and I'm just really interested to see how these component manufacturers are going to deal with this and and again how designers are going to be forced to think hard about these parts it's really strange. Anyway sorry for taking a little side trip there. That's important, it's a significant issue. We're being told this could last until 2020 and when we get out of this allocation, the industry is going to be different and, as I said, a lot of the bigger form factors consider moving all to 402s. It's more difficult to deal with these smaller ones but those are the ones, when the component manufacturers catch up, it's going to be in the smaller form factors because they can sell them to people building small devices as well as big. So think about that, be very, very careful when you're picking the specific component and tell us, and other manufacturers like us, what parameters are important. Goodness that’s a great tip. You know I hadn't thought about it until just this minute when you were talking; I'm wondering if this will drive an uptick in embedded? Embedded like embedded passives? Uh-hu better passives. I don't know I've been waiting to see that. I joined this company in 2005 and embedded passives were in the news at that point, and I actually made a prediction on the Screaming Circuits blog, that in ten years - I think I said - 80% of the passives would be embedded passives. I don't know that we've ever seen one. I guess technically you wouldn't see it because it's inside it. No but you would know it was there, because I know it from my board manufacturing past, you would know cuz you would have to process it differently. It's a different process but I don't know what the cost trade-offs are there, but I've met Bruce Mahler from Omega and I've met some of those folks, and I'm just wondering if this allocation will drive, but I don't know what the cost trade-offs are or performance comparative. That makes me think, I need to call Bruce Mahler and get him on the blog because it's an interesting thing to ponder in lieu of what's going on in the marketplace. Yeah. Anything else you would mention off the top of your head that's something you see repeatedly that's a design for assembly thing that you would recommend designers to take a look at closely? Well the polarity, the QFNs, BGAs as I mentioned. Something that isn't necessarily quite so obvious is the data files that is an important part of design for assembly. Ambiguity on a board is bad, ambiguity in a data file is bad. Bills of Materials, if there are parts in there that don't match the board, that's probably 80% of the jobs that come through here, have some sort of a Bill of Materials issue. So, double-check that that's accurate and that it matches your CAD files. If you can give your manufacturer the intelligent CAD files like an ODB++ or IPC 2581, that significantly reduces the chance of error, but then there's a little irony in there too that a lot of board houses still prefer Gerber's so we have seen cases where someone saves and then; oh yeah, I can give you the ODB++, but they forget they made a slight change and so now we have Gerber's that don't match the ODP++ so, make sure all of your files are consistent. Make sure the Bill of Material is clear and finalized. All in all if you add up all of the files issues that we see, that's probably one of the most common problems. I mean, I run into those problems for myself. I designed some boards and run up to the factory here, and I know how to do this, in theory I know how to do this, but I regularly make mistakes that my co-workers chide me for. Well I think again, that leads to the complexity of the data that's available. The data sheets; whether they're right. I mean it is such a complex thing and it amazes me that we can even manufacture circuit boards and then put components on it and come out workable sometimes. Because it is such a complex process, I'm really glad that - actually I appreciate it - I don't understand all those steps but having worked for for both a really high end EMS that sold to tier one’s, very complex boards, and also having worked for a variety of board shops. I really appreciate the complexity in both those disciplines, and I think sometimes because a board shows up as a line item on a BOM that complexity sometimes can get lost on you. But yeah we're building things, even here Altium, into our own tool that helps, like an active BOM, things like that, that hopefully help. I think design tool manufacturers like us, I think we're doing a better job helping in that regard. Right yeah, definitely! Well the last couple items I wanted to talk to you about... well thank you for all that by the way, and again, we will share in the show notes your website. The Circuit Talking, I would recommend to anyone who is listening or watching - that you subscribe to Duane's blog or just Circuit Talk or whatever and we'll put all the links in because again, he's got his feet in the fire and runs up against these things as he said. Because they're putting through such a width of product. Like I used to work for an EMS, and like you said, it was a vertical. So we worked with military Tier one, and so the type of bores we saw was a niche, but you're seeing everything. Yeah, literally I mean we worked on a camera board, the electronics of it, for National Geographic - it's a plexiglass globe, they drop it to the bottom of the ocean, it's got a chain on it and when the chain rusts through the camera bobs to the top and they pick it up again. We've got stuff being built for the 2020 Mars Rover so, literally down in the ocean up into space and and anything in between, we've built Ardium base stuff, real simple things, through holes; we built a board with five thousand placements. It's just all over the place and it's just absolutely the most fascinating place I've ever worked certainly, because of that. Yeah I can see that and again, kudos for you - it's easier to do a quick podcast or write a blog post or produce a Circuit Talk that can go out to thousands of people and get that information out in that kind of global sense and be helpful right. Yeah rather than tell one person at a time. Exactly it's kind of a scalability of getting that knowledge out, so I really appreciate what you've done over the years. One thing I wanted to ask you about which it was a fun thing is about; I don't know six to eight months ago, I had the privilege to go with the Altium team for the first time, to a Maker Faire because we have Circuit Maker and Circuit Studio - Circuit Maker is free and and now we've bought a company called Upverter, which is also free, and in the cloud, and we also have Circuit Studio. So, we went there with those products and because of my position here as Director of Community Engagement, I hadn't had any exposure really to the Maker community, other than seeing stuff online, and I went and it was like drinking from a firehose. It was so much fun… goofiest things... it was so much fun. So, I'm walking the aisles, kind of collecting things to write about, or learn about, and I come across Duane Benson, wearing what looks like rap swag around his neck - it was like a clock you were wearing right, or something - he looks like a rapper and I'm used to thinking of him as this Duane Benson from Screaming Circuits and here you are, like fully immersed in the Maker space, and you had designed this device and had LEDs on it and I'm like: what are you doing here? So tell me about how you've come to serve Makers. It doesn't seem like, from a profitability or a business model, that it would be a market that a company like Screaming Circuits would address. So how'd you get there Duane? Well you could say that I'm a bit of a method actor, I mean I love... I've been designing small circuit boards for a very long time and writing the software for them for a very long time and one way of looking at it, is I'm a Hacker and a Maker who happens to be lucky enough to have a manufacturing facility. But more specifically, those Hackers and those Makers they are starting businesses. Yes they are. Many of those businesses become our customers whether they be crowdfunding or bootstrapping or getting investments, they are the future. The Maker community has a lot of students in it. It has a lot of weekday engineer weekend Hackers, it has a lot of people who aspire to start a new business and just such a wealth of creativity. And part of our mission I always like to look at, I'm just one person, we're just one company but if we can make our tiny little corner of the planet just a little bit better then we've been successful and all of those people who want to design electronics... M-Hmm.. -We know what they don't know. I mean, we know what kind of problems they’re going to run across before they do, and so if we know what they don't know why don't we pass that off? And some of those people will have boards built with our competitors. Some of them will build them themselves, some of them will have us build them. Whatever, we're helping them understand this industry better. And we are helping them build better boards. That's what we really want to do. That's why we're at the Maker Faires ultimately. It does always have to lead back to more business for us, and it does. People see Screaming Circuits, they get the Circuit Talk and they read it, and it's Circuit Talk a Screaming Circuits publication so all of that winds its way back eventually, to helping the business here, and that's how we can afford to do it. But if we can help the business build and grow the business and help these budding designers - everybody wins. This is why I love you, and love you guys. I just I love that philosophy, I love that approach. I try to live by an old Zig Ziglar thing and this reminds me of you and Screaming Circuits’ model that you just explained. Zig Ziglar used to say, you really can't have everything you want in life. If you just help enough other people get what they want. Right. So it's kind of knowing unconsciously that if you put good things out in the world, and you do the right thing, and you're ethical, and you have integrity, and you serve people, that good will come back to you and and you'll do okay. And I think that's a big key to your success actually, by kind of leading with service and and not ignoring the bottom line. We are in business to make money, we have to do that, or we're not in business anymore. So, I really appreciate that. Well we're wrapping up now and I think you've listened to a couple of these podcasts now and so two questions for you. One are you a nerd or a geek? [Laughter] I’m a Gunerd… That's the best answer I've ever gotten yes you're a Gunerd. Yeah, there was a time when those were really pejorative terms but I think nerds and geeks have taken it back and said, you know what, no we're not going to be ashamed of liking technology and loving it,we're proud of it. I mean, yeah so I’m a Gunerd. Oh my gosh, I'm totally gonna steal that and use it somehow Duane, that will come back to haunt you later I promise. [Laughter] And the other question is, but I think I know what the answer is, if you've listened to podcasts. I always ask designers and electronics professionals in the end - this is ‘designers after hours’ - so because there is so much creativity involved a lot of people, like you said are Makers or Hackers, or they play a musical instruments or they're sculptors or whatever. So, what is your kind of guilty pleasure that you like to do after hours? It would have to be photography. I chase animals around and take pictures of them, animals, landscapes, and then I have sort of a weird passion for old, decaying industrial sites as well. But photography would probably have to be my passion when I'm not playing with electronics. That's so cool. Do you have a website where you share any of that or is it just mostly personal stuff and you keep your photos and share them with friends and family and whatnot? It's mostly a personal thing I have had them on websites before but it's just my thing. And and what do you mean about industrial sites? Well, old decaying, industrial and rusty factories. There's a place here just north of Canby Oregon City and we've got a waterfall on the Willamette River and most people think of waterfalls as pristine, and nature and that's all wonderful, I love that. But this one: back in the 1800's they started building paper mills and they built a set of locks. It's the oldest - well till they just recently closed down - it was the oldest continuously operated locks west of the Mississippi. And so now, you overlook the river from a nice restaurant and you see this shut down, decaying, industrial plant and - well no it's not the beauty of the river - but I see a sort of beauty in the symmetry and in the the way people constructed these things. It's almost like an architectural dig, you can see things from a hundred years ago, from eighty years ago, from sixty years ago, and you can see the evolution of that, as this thing built up and then as they abandoned it, and there's just for some reason... I really enjoy that that sort of a view as well as the natural views as well. They do have a really unique aesthetic and things have changed. It is kind of like a little time capsule and the rest is actually beautiful and sometimes the design itself is beautiful. Yeah well thank you again, this has been fabulous and I'm sure we can talk more and more, but thank you so much for giving me so much of your time and sharing DFA tips and the story of Screaming Circuits, and we wish you continued success and we'll certainly share the website and Circuit Talk. And if there's anything else you'd like to share with us, give me a holler and I'll make sure we include those in the show notes. Thank you very much, it's been a privilege to be on the show here, thank you. Again this has been Judy Warner with Altium’s OnTrack Podcast and Duane Benson from Screaming Circuits. we look forward to seeing you next time until then always stay OnTrack.

Its okay to feel what you're feeling.

Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2018 26:21

Hi. Alright. How we doing? It looks like I'm in a small prison. Hello, Facebook. Is this working? Welcome to The Katrina Ruth Show. Okay. Three people here. Hello, three people. I might be the smartest person in the world right 'bout right now. Oh my goodness, Leah. I'm feeling all the feels. I'm in the airport. I'm at my gate. I'm in such a weird ass mood that I didn't even want to hang out in the lounge. The lounge in Bali is pretty shit. The wine is terrible, it'll poison you. So I'm just in the room. The holding room, where you're gonna board the plane, but I've come kinda early, so I don't have to board for a while. I was so in a weird, grumpy, anxious, bizarre place all day, and then I was like, "I'm not even going to sit in the lounge, I'm going to sit on this gross ass floor, in this skanky airport boarding room, since that's the mood I'm in." And I feel fantastic. Now, I'm going to advise to you, that I might be the most intelligent person in the world from an engineering standpoint, and the reason is, I don't have a tripod in front of me, but yet I'm not holding the phone. How is that even possible? "How is it possible," you ask? Well, I'll tell you. I might even show you, but I'm a little concerned that if I show you ... Can't even have any more coffee, 'cause my heart rate's already like frickin high as fuck today. I'm in an anxiety day today. I'm concerned that if I show you my arrangement here that I won't be able to get the phone back in again, but I'm too excited at myself, so I'm gonna show you. Are you ready for this ninja-ri? Are you guys ready for it? Check it. So there's my Chanel luggage case. It's beautiful, isn't it? Chanel. And there's my purse, and there's the airport lounge, and there's the gross ass carpet that I'm sitting on, and here's me. Okay, now the phone's telling me off for rotating it. So aren't I intelligent? Because, I had the phone stuffed here, I had the phone stuck behind that. I'm so impressed at myself. I'm just like, "Look at me." Sometimes I think I'm just a little school girl. I'm like, "How am I the age I am?" I walk around in little shorts, with Nike's on, looking like an escaped backpacker, and then sit on the floor. I don't know. I just feel like one of these things is not like the other. Something's wrong in this picture or something, but at the same time, obviously I fully embrace, and love, and accept myself. But I just have that feeling of I'm not a real adult, and somebody's gonna come along and knock on the door and be like, "Listen, we've heard that you're actually passing yourself off as a grown ass adult slash entrepreneur, and you're really not doing it quite right. But good luck to you." Right. "How's the nail?" It looks gross. There's some congealed issues there. The Balinese man at the gym yesterday, like the gym manager dude wanted me to go to the clinic. I'm like "Fuck that, I'm not going to a frickin clinic." So now I'm just letting it do what it wants and we'll see what happens over the next few days. So I nearly called this live-stream ... I was gonna call it something about how critical it ... and now, by the way, I look like a crazy person because as far as the rest of this waiting room is concerned, I'm talking to the back of my handbag right now cause they can't see the phone. But check out the new top, it's good isn't it? It's good. So I nearly called this live-stream something about ... By the way maybe you can just chuck that call to action straight in, go right into the CTA. Whose joined break the internet? Okay, I keep being like, "What the fuck is that loud noise?" And I was getting really shitty about it. It sounds like a massive vacuum cleaner, and then I realised it's a plane landing. I'm at the airport, it's probably okay for a plane to be landing. And, they take your water off you though when you check in to the ... You actually have to check into the waiting room in Bali. You've gotta check in, and they search your bags before you can just wait to get on the plane, and then they take your water off you. It's super annoying. So, now I'm live streaming which means I always want water, and I'm sitting quite far back, because otherwise the top of my head's cut off. So, I'll just lean down. So, what was I saying? Oh, whose joined break the internet? We'll talk about that in a moment, that is next level. I almost convinced myself that I shouldn't livestream today, because my energy's not super crazy, and high vibrant badass like it was yesterday. And, then I was like, "What is this bullshit story? This is how I'm feeling today, I'm gonna show up as who I am today." Do you think they could possibly quiet down with the announcements, when somebody's trying to livestream? People can figure their own shit out at the airport. Okay I'm getting side tracked already. So my other title that I had in mind, was that I could call this livestream something like, "How critical it is to lean into the feelings that are coming through you." But, then I reminded myself to always go with what was originally coming out, which in this case was, "It's okay to feel what you're feeling." Reason being, yesterday as you might know I did one of the craziest, bizarre ... The [inaudible 00:05:42]. And then, I gotta say, this waiting room area is massive, and as soon as I went live people came and sat near me. What's that about? Why did they not sit on the other side of the room? So, now I've got that slight feeling of self consciousness, where I'm like conscious that people can sort of hear me and are probably like, "What the fuck she's doing." At the same time, like fully committed to being as crazy as possible, and waving my arms around in the air if that's what comes out. "Hello from Norway." But, tell me if you've joined Break the Internet. That shit is just gonna rip the soul right out of you. Which doesn't sound ideal, to be honest. It's not really what I meant. It's not gonna take from you. You won't lose your soul. What I should do is stand up. I'm gonna sit here in a zen like fashion. Do you think I should sit here like this for the rest of the livestream? Could do. I want this phone to be a little bit higher. Actually I don't want [inaudible 00:06:30]. I just want the phone to be a bit higher, but I've gotta push this trolley back. This Chanel case back. But, I don't want that ugly red chair in my stream. What's Break The Internet all about? Well I'm glad you asked. It's in the pinned comment Melissa. You read the pinned comment below the pre work dropped last night, it was madness. It was madly amazing. I'll talk about it in a moment, but there is details about it in the pinned comment right there. It's my new programme, it starts in two days. But, you get into the Facebook group straight away. It's a ten day intensive smack down. And, the first module, which we do on Friday, is about getting angry. Getting angry with yourself for not speaking your truth, and not sharing your true message. So, when I say it's gonna rip the soul right out of you, it was less than ideal wording. I didn't mean you're gonna lose your soul. I meant it's gonna help you to unleash your soul. It's gonna unleash the fullness of your soul out of you. Ashley stole the shenanigans with actual work. The pre work, I'm really impressed with myself for the pre work to be honest. I mean I just like allow it to come through me, and download it. And I was like, "Fuck me, that was a good exercise." And wait till you see the follow on one. There's more pre work coming. So, you don't want to wait till Friday, because like Thursday and Friday I'll push it as hard as far. I'll be promoting everywhere, I'll be like join, join, join, before we start. Obviously so you don't miss out. You don't want to wait till then, you may as well join now, and you get to be in on the energy at that group. We should seriously just level as fuck already, and get to enjoy the pre work of being prepared. And, what Break The Internet's all about is, it is about unleashing your core, unadulterated, unapologetic soul and truth. But, here's where today's energy mood comes in right. Because, I honestly nearly didn't go live. I could've gone live on the way to the airport, from the car. I keep looking for my water. They ruined my groove, they took my water off me. So, ridiculous. I'm a business class passenger and I'm without water. I'll survive. So, yeah my energy and my mood today, it's been really weird. Yesterday I was in this kind of crazy like hysterical other worldly dimension shift thing that was going on. If you didn't watch my livestream from yesterday, it was seriously one of the most bizarre things that I've ever published on the internet, and it was just like a crazy explosion. I was completely in another dimension, another place. I watched the whole replay myself. I was pretty funny. I thought it was quite funny. But, I also dropped some amazing gold. I just cannot recommend highly enough, like how deeply you need to watch that livestream. In fact Mim, if you're still here grab the URL from that live yesterday and drop into a comment here a well, so people can find it easily. Otherwise, you can find it on this page, or on my personal trainer page, cause that's where I actually did it from. So, then today ... Actually today started fine, and then early on in the day I started to feel that anxiety rising up, and that kind of like disconnectedness. And, there are a couple of things that maybe could have brought that one, or called me ... Yeah, my little stickers. Wasn't that [inaudible 00:09:26]. There were a couple of things that kind of maybe contributed to that, but then nothing like where it was really valid, or worthy of going into my anxiety mode. And, I did my journaling, and I did my blogging, and I did all the things that I usually do, and then went over to the gym, and by the time I got to the gym I was seriously like having a full on anxiety day, where it's kind of hard to breathe, and you don't really want to communicate with people, and you have to kind of talk carefully and more carefully. And, I don't know if it was because I was coming down from the high and the trip of yesterday. From all the places I travelled to yesterday. Or, it was like whatever random shit that was going on in my head. Or, it's just nothing at all. So, then you try and shift it. And, I know how to shift it, and we always know how to shift it. But, at the same time you kind of like, "It's not fucking shifting." And, it's just kind of like melting a little bit, a little bit. And, when I feel that way I do, do whatever I feel I need to do in order to shift, or in order to let it go. But at the same time, I understand that it is what it is, and there's two parts. So, one of the practises or processes that I'll go into when I feel something like that, something that I don't really ideally enjoy feeling, or what I'll be feeling is kind of just getting back to groundedness, getting back to face. So it's kind of like ... Actually I'll give you a good example, frequently when clients come to me and they're freaking the fuck out about money, like they've got serious money shit going on, and there's kind of like a fear and panic reaction going on. I always bring it back to two things for them. I say, "Okay, number one. Can you get through today? Like, are you able to get through today, and is there action that you can take today. Can you do today's work of being you." And the answer is like of course, of course I can survive today, of course I can get through today. Not just get through it, but also take the action that you need to be taking. And, then number two. Do you have faith. Like, go big picture. Do you have faith? There's the big picture that I'm not going any [inaudible 00:11:17]. I'm here to stay, I am gonna run this thing, I'm gonna create everything that's inside of me, and I'm gonna bring my vision to life. And, 100% I've had client's, friends, me, my family ... I don't know, I don't really as them that stuff. But, the people that are in my circle, are definitely gonna say yes. Ultimately yeah, I can get through today for sure. Right. There's a child looking at me. And, I do have faith in the big picture. This kid's coming up to see what I'm doing, cause they think I'm talking to a handbag right now. So, those are the two things that you'll want to look at right. And, that's easy for me to rule off, and it's easy for me to say or share with clients when it comes to the money side of things. Because, I'm not in that space anymore, but I'm teaching from a place of when I was in that space right, and when I did go through that, when that was my reality and that was just how it is. And, so I remember, and I was caught up in that before I broke through my business. I'm not kidding there's like 3 children like just ... They're all right here, kind of like. And then their parents came up and got them. And then the parents are also kind of half looking at me, like, "What the fuck is going on?" I swear to God, I've gotta give myself credit for being able to tune this stuff out and just keep going, like give me a love heart [inaudible 00:12:29] for support please. Because, not only am I having an anxiety day, but I'm dealing with the fact that this waiting room is full of people looking at me like I'm crazy, cause I'm talking to the back of a bag. And, I'm still paranoid because I believe in this message, and I want to bring it to you right. So, I need the love hearts even extra today, and the flying Katrinas thank you. Okay, so it is kind of easy for me to rule that off right. Because, I'm not in that place of anxiety to do with life anymore. It's long past, but I was there, and I was there for quite a while. Thank you for the love, I so appreciate it. I was there, and I was there for quite a while. Okay, I just realised something terrible. I realised my lighting went out, and I could look even more bright in light than I do right now. One second. How did I not notice that, that went out? Look how much better it is. Alright, let me put this back in here. One second, just jam it back in. That's so much better, I'm so excited, I'm such a lighting addict. Alright, now my comments have disappeared though. There they are. Yeah, maybe somebody needs to hear what I'm saying, exactly Nicole. Thank you. I feel way better with this lighting, that's improved my mood by 14%. So, I remember the feeling, and I know that that's what gets you through. So, then when I go into random ... I don't know how to do the sparkler filter anymore, I swear to God, these filters are just all messed up. Should I try it? When I go into this mood now. Let's try it. When I go into ... Nah, it doesn't want to let me do a filter. You know what, I think it's because when you're in the Creator app, the Facebook Creator app which allows me to have the show banner down the bottom, as opposed to when I do it through the page's app, then you can do more fancy things. That's what I think. Okay, no the fricken light has gone off again. Okay, so what I was trying to say is. When I'm in this anxiety place relevant to whatever shit that's not about money, but whatever it was just about. Just that feeling that I come back to that same stuff right. Yeah, I don't know why. They need to fix that in the Creator app though Leah. It's annoying. So, I come back to the same stuff. Let's get that red chair out, I don't like that red chair. And, it's essentially, "Can I get through today?" Like, can I not just like survive the day and not die, that's not what I mean. But, more like can I do what I need to do today? Can I still do my inner work? Can I still message from this place? Right? Hello, that's what I'm doing right now. So, a lot of us including myself have been guilty of feeling like, if I'm feeling that way, if I'm feeling stuck, or if I'm feeling disconnected, or if I'm having an anxiety attack, or whatever it is that you may be experiencing. It might not be anxiety, I know a lot of people who do though. But, then we think I can't show up today, because I'm not in my zone, and I'm not in my vibe. And that's the story that I was telling myself relevant to live streaming. I still did my blog, and then after that I did you know, my personal stuff, I answered my messages, I packed my shit up and got myself to the airport. Spoke to a client on the phone, that sort of thing. But, when I thought about going live, I was like, "I just have ... Like I've got to much of this going on in here, and I didn't ... I felt worried that I wouldn't bring a powerful message, or it would make me feel upset or something like that." Like I was really buying into the anxiety being in charge of me, rather than me being like, "Hey, you know what? This is just something that is part of my experience today and I can still show up, and it is what it is. And it's okay." And, I shared over an audio message with one of my best friends a little bit about what I was feeling. And, actually I was not happy with her answer that I got back. It made me super shitty I triggered. I was like, "Fuck off, that's not why I was sharing my words. I was sharing for a solution." Just being transparent as fuck right now. I wasn't sharing looking for an answer to why I'm feeling what I'm feeling, like I shared what I was feeling, and I said why I feel I'm feeling that way. But, then I was like, "Yeah an but I also know this." Like coming back to faith, and coming back to groundedness, it brought me back to [inaudible 00:16:18], so I ... So, it's kind of like coaching myself, sharing everything on the audio which is what we all do with friends. And then she kind of came back with, "Oh well, the reason is blah blah blah. And what you need to do is blah blah blah." And I was like, "Um, I'm already fully aware of that, actually all I wanted was empathy." But, then I was like, "Okay, so if I'm not gonna get empathy from somebody else if I feel like they're nice, and they're just tryna like school me on something that I'm already fully aware of, then where am I doing that to someone else. Right. So, everything's always [inaudible 00:16:46], so I was shitty, but then I was also like, "Clearly this is coming from inside me." But, it still didn't shift it, so it was still ... And, so after that, that's where this title for this livestream came from. Because, after that I was kind of sitting in the car on the way here to the airport and I thought, "At the end of the day, it's okay to feel what I'm feeling, but I don't have to shift that in order to be a good person, or be an indulged conscious person. I also don't have to be the crazy ass motherfucker that I was yesterday travelling to other places. Actually still in a state of super flow, even while feeling all this stuff. But, it's just the different angle, or a different side of the same point. Okay, are you guys not commenting anymore. Is that what's happening? Somebody leave a comment so I know this is working. Either you're just enraptured by what I'm saying, or the comments have stopped working. Let me check on my laptop. Okay, so that's where the title came from. That's what I was trying to say. It's okay to feel what you're feeling, but more than that. I think that we get to lean into what we're feeling, and by that I mean just ... Okay you're listening, thanks Sherry. We get to lean into what we're feeling. Enraptured. You're so funny. Perfect, good. See, I'm getting into my little self conscious mode, because there's so many people looking at me right now. And, also because I'm feeling like a self conscious day anyway. My growth is like phenomenal today, I'm just growing stronger on the inside moment by moment right now. I'm gonna get on the plane. I'm gonna have some fricken wine. No not the rapture. It's a different rapture from yesterday. Yesterday I blogged about being in the rapture, which is when you're in the deep collective unconscious, you're in the super flow. I do need the heart shower. I think I just need a lot of hearts. If you were here I would need a cuddle and a kiss, and a marshmallow. Not to speak like a marshmallow. Some people know what that means. Yeah, yesterday I was in like the full power super flow. You guys saw that on the livestream. I was kind of out of control, and crazy. Thank you for the love. Today is actually still ... It's like a follow on from it, and it's still a deep connectedness. It's just that sometimes you have those shitty feelings that you don't want to feel, and what I'm trying to say is, that's not bad or wrong right. What if we literally just went that's how I'm feeling today. It is what it is. Can I analyse it? Sure, but doesn't matter. Haven't agreed to my marshmallow demands. Can you repeat them here, cause did I miss them, or did I just comment back with a smart ass reply. I don't know what you mean. You know, so we can analyse we can come up with, "Oh I think it's cause of this, or it's cause of this." We can do state shifting stuff, like okay it felt a bit better after doing my workout, it felt better after getting my tunes on. I felt a lot better after I ate actually. Beautiful salad with chicken and beef and mango in it. It was amazing. Exhausted from workload. I don't have any workload at all. I feel like I do no work at all. I don't think. I just laugh emoji, but what was the request. I don't think I'm exhausted at all from workload, I definitely don't have much of a workload. I feel like I do no work, but then I clearly work all day, but then I play all day. It's all just a [inaudible 00:19:49] mish mash. And, hang on. Now I'm accidentally watching my livestream. That's a mistake. Alright I'm trying to read these comments, and they're half coming up on the phone, and half on the laptop. So, what was the point I just half finished. It's fricken okay to feel what you're feeling right. You're allowed to feel it, because what I was trying to do earlier today was probably push it away. Like, I was sort of trying to state shift. The reason I try anyway, you either shift your state or you don't. But, it was more in a mindset of, I don't want to feel like this. This is annoying me. I want to push it away, I want to get rid of it. So, that's like a resistance, and as I was driving here. I hate driving here honestly. I suddenly went to myself, "Well, what if I just let that feeling fully wash over me?" It's okay to want to be a human burrito in my mind. That's exactly right [inaudible 00:20:48] You wouldn't want to do a burrito bed here in Bali, you'd probably lose 14 litres of sweat. And, I'm definitely getting wine as soon as I get on the plane. Or as soon as [inaudible 00:20:57] anyway. But, I mean even from talking about it now right. It's actually shifting even though I surrounded the idea that I needed to shift it. Maria says, "Let's all drink wine." Right. So then I surrendered the idea. I was like, "Okay, this reminds me of whenever I'm getting my tattoo worked on ... I speak about that a lot. How if you try to not feel the pain of it, if you try and avoid the pain of it, then it hurts more. And you give it power over you. Whereas if you lean into the pain, and go okay, "Let me just allow myself to feel all of this pain, let me allow it to kind of wash over me and threw me." Then, all of a sudden you go, "Aw, it's not that it doesn't necessarily have any pain attached to it, but it's probably less painful than what it was before." And you take the power out of it, because you're not trying to hide from it and run from it. And so that's what I realised I got to do, an hour or two from when I was on the way here. Oh they're boarding. I think they're boarding. It's alright I've got priority boarding, I just like zoom straight in when I'm ready. So, I just let myself surrender to it. I actually gave into the anxiety on the way to the airport. I was like, "Okay, it is what it is, but don't feel that I have a very good valid reason why I should be feeling like this. But I do feel like this, so okay maybe that's my experience today?" I'm still fine, I'm still in full love and acceptance, I'm actually still connected and charged with super flow, I've still created amazing content today. I know I'll have an epic time on the plane, I always do. I typically go into super, super flow when I'm in the air. [inaudible 00:22:26] And, yeah. That was it really and I was like "Okay, it's cool." Because, it would be all passed tomorrow and probably be the best fucking [inaudible 00:22:34] ever tomorrow, but there's no rule ... Half of all these people are such sheeps, they all just get up and do what they're told. 100% of the people just got up. Please not be my derro time. No there's actually one guy who's sitting over there, he didn't get up. He's like, "[inaudible 00:22:51] I'll do exactly what I want, I want to sit down until the last minute." So, yeah I think that a lot of times we think we shouldn't have any emotions that we have maybe labelled as negative right? And, what if there was no negative emotions because there's not. There's just not. They all are here for a reason and they're all here to service right. So what if all emotions were there to teach us something, or guide us something, or to bring us back closer to our soul. And I realised that when I actually surrendered to feeling anxious and surrendered to feeling like I couldn't quite breathe properly, and I was in a slight state of panic and I just wanted to be like, "I want to be like super fricken happy and excited again." When I surrendered to it I allowed it to teach me something. And, I don't really know what that was yet. I don't know. Maybe I'll never know. It doesn't matter. But, it actually allowed me to connect back to my soul because I was being with what is. I was allowing myself to be what I am, and recognising or realising that there's nothing I need even at emotional state in order to be enough, or be good enough right. I'm completely loved and accepted. I'm completely [inaudible 00:23:56]. I'm completely still able to move through the day, show up, do whatever I feel called to do. Be present and in attendance in any circumstance or [inaudible 00:24:05]. Or, alternatively watch a movie and drink a wine on the plane. Whatever it is I feel called to do. But, then now ... And so now, I obviously got on and did the livestream and I was in the airport already for an hour before doing this live, and I did go to lounge for a little bit and I was nearly gonna live there but the wifi wouldn't really work. And, I was kind of, "Oh, I think I should just leave the livestream for today, let's just get on this plane and you know tomorrow's a new day." And then I was like, "You know what? I'm gonna just do the thing right. I'm just gonna talk about it's okay to feel what you're feeling." And now, like literally right now in this moment, I'm noticing I shifted because I surrounded [inaudible 00:24:41]. Like, I feel happy. I feel upbeat. I feel a slight little [inaudible 00:24:45] in there of that anxiety. But, I feel like it's totally 100% fine and I mean it. If it comes back, or if it doesn't and I go into like la la marshmallow land. Do you know what I mean? Whereas before, I felt like it was scary, or bad, or wrong. Somebody's coming to get me, what's happening? Excuse me. Yes. Final call already. Final call already? Okay how did that happen in one minute? They must have an empty plane. I don't know how that happened. Okay, so. The pre work has dropped. I want to read about it to you. How the fuck did they get to final call already? The pre work has dropped for Breaktheinternet.com. It must be an empty plane. And, you've gotta read about it in the pinned comment. It's my 10 day smack down intensive. It is about getting back to your soul, and getting angry. There's a bunch of comments here in the pinned comment about what people said about the pre work. This is ... Like I could read it all out, but I don't think I'm prepared to do that to miss the plane. So, it's for the crazy certified crazy badass, who has not been showing up fully as themselves. Okay, there's the rest of my head while I pack up. Who has not been doing the damn work, and who is ready to do the damn work? Let's do this thing. Okay, shit. I'm literally the last person. How the fuck is it, that I always miss planes ... I never miss planes. I always nearly miss the plane, when I'm like the first one at the airport? Because I'm live streaming. Alright I'm gonna totally go, because there's nobody else here. Don't forget, live is now press fucking play.

When you become so fucking boring

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2018 23:32

Oh, what's up, Facebook? Welcome to the livestream. Super grainy, isn't it? Can I turn this light on? Yes, please. Thank you. Okay, that's a bit better. I am on my way out. I'm going out. Got some cool stuff happening tonight. I've been tearing some shreds off today, people, mainly off my own self. What's up, Kitty? Hey, who else is there? Ooh, how do I share this? Hey, Declan. Hello, people of the internet. How can I share this livestream from my personal page into my Daily Asskickery group? I feel like an idiot, like I think I should know how to do things on Facebook at this point in my career. Hi, Candice. Can somebody share this into the Daily Asskickery Facebook group? Ooh, actually I have an idea, one second, pause yourselves right there, I'm going to bring it in a moment. I'm going to exit out of this screen and see if I can share it in my Safari browser. All right, I'm so intelligent, I'm so impressed with myself. So I'm in a cab, I'm here in Bali, there's a little bit of Bali, I'm always in Bali, you know that, I'm probably going to move to Bali. I'm heading out to a beach club, badass beach club. My friend just messaged me and said, make sure I get one of the daybeds if I get there first. We're going to do so may shenanigan-y things, it's just how it has to be today. It's getting to about that time of life o'clock, isn't it? It's getting to shenanigan o'clock, I would say. I've felt the kind of fury just building up in me. If you read my blog post that I published 20 minutes ago, you will understand. Now, I know I just exited the fricking screen, but I've got to get one more thing and I'm going to put it in the comments. I'll tell you in a minute, I'm pretty angry at myself, I'm actually going to do an entire ... The first training module for my new course, which is called BreakTheInternet.com, and don't go to the URL, because there is ... Well, there probably is breaktheinternet.com, but I'm just calling it that because it's just how it came out. So it's not my URL, all right? So my new course is BreakTheInternet.com, and it is a 10 day smack down, it's going to be full on, I've got so much energy and passion. The first module is called Get Fucking Angry, because I'm fucking angry, I am so fucking angry at myself right now. It all started, actually my awareness of my own shittiness, at my own self started so the link, don't click on the link, whatever you do, do not click on links that I give you. All right, there's some Bali views for you. It was a pile of a stones, I hope you enjoyed it. What one did I tell you about the other day? No, fuck that shit, that can come later on in the week, it's actually amazing. I just can't follow a plan. It was a three day plan, it was a four day plan, whatever fucking plan it was that my team had that I agreed to, that it was my plan maybe, but then I pre planned something and then I just wanted to smack myself in the head, basically. I'm going to get angry at you for you. I'm happy to get angry at you [inaudible 00:03:25]after this and yell at you if you like? Well, no I won't because I'm going to be at Fins meeting amazing people and having the best time ever. I'm going to go meet so many cool new people tonight. Last night I went out with people who I've never even met before. Like just put myself in a brand new situation, 100% new people. New people that were just created yesterday, I created them into my own reality. I mean, my team don't know yet about this because it is Sunday. Christian, what's up? It is Sunday in Australia so I've actually done something behind my team's back and possibly Broman Kelly will be on it because she's like a bloodhound that one. She's on everything. My brother definitely won't be on it because he'll be like, not checking his WhatsApp, but I did message him on WhatsApp and I said on the WhatsApp, I said, "I'm sorry I couldn't do it I was dying," and then I sent him a link to my post that I just put up. Not even an hour ago and the post if you missed it, you must read it. Can somebody get the link to that post, if you're on your laptop computer. Get the URL to that blog so people can read it. It's called you snivelling, whiny, little bitch. And you're going to read it and you're going to enjoy it. I'm rebelling against myself first and foremost, but I did initially put a picture up with that post that said Fuck you, I won't do what you told me. Then I took it down and changed the photo because I didn't want my team to think I was saying fuck you to them, but really I meant it to my own higher self. Still I have just screwed up the entire plan for the, possibly year. But fuck it, we'll do all that anyway. We'll do the faith and peppers thing because it's freaking amazing, but right now I've got some limbs to tear. Limb from limb. Oops, I just punched the roof of the taxi. Lily Bangkok knows what's up. She was on it like white on rice. It was crazy, the whole... I don't even know what that expression means, it just popped of me. What does that even mean? I think I got it from a movie. You can see that I'm coming back to life. I'm like one of those little dehydrated towels, you know when you check in at an amazing high end hotels in Bali, they give you one of those small dehydrated towels and then you put it in some water and it comes to life. That's basically what I am. Declan says I'm worth rebelling against. Thank you, I rebel against myself anytime I like. It's been festering away at me. It's been quite a disgusting internal situation, hence your whiny, snivelling little bitch. Of course, as usual, I didn't even notice that it was happening and it's just, like it is an old freaking pattern that I've done several times. Which I got somewhat triggered by when I was called out on that the other day. On a joint livestream and somebody said to me, you've already done this same story three times before. Can you just get some new material or something? Which I thought was a little bit cheeky, but true. I always appreciate getting called out, only if it's true and by the right person, but I was still kind of shitty about it. Now I'm just having to own it and that's the truth of the matter. Then I got called out again, two days ago, by the same person. I was like fucking hell, you're right and I knew that. So I probably shut down all my Facebook ads and all plans and all of everything and I've just been sitting in my own disgusting-ness. I'm not going to say enjoying it, but I've been marinating, marinating in my own disgusting-ness because I fucking deserve to. I needed to feel it. There's a field, enjoy the field. Blake what's up? I have a lot of respect for you Blake. Everybody should follow Blake. Leah said I thought you said tampon instead of towel. No? Not at all, but it's actually kind of the same analogy. Alright, so I've just been marinating in my own disgusting-ness. I've been sitting in it. It's actually kind of true in a physical sense as well because in Bali most of the time, you're just covered in black sweat and who knows what else. So, it's true in many senses of the word that I meant my own emotional, what's a good word for it? Snivel-ery? Wussiness? Diluted horror, diluted horror. That's how I feel about it. Marinating in my own diluted horror. It's not been fun to marinate in. It's been quite vial up in here. I've still had a lot of fun mind you, I've had a fabulous night out last night, been to many fantastic things. But I've been conscious and aware of what a sell out I've been being. I've had so many good titles through me for live streams and blogs. I'm going to write about myself being a sell out tomorrow. I'm going to get some memes, I'm going to make some freaking memes. Okay here's a rice field, we should all look at it. Check it out. This is where I use to live, look. Right down that street, down there. Actually it was over a fence and you had to climb over a fence and down a hill and roll down it sideways, but I lived there anyway for a year. I had many coffees, possibly several too many, but it was required. I had to kick myself in the iron ass, I had to take my own advice. You know, sometimes I'll say to my clients, look you need to slap yourself on each cheek and pour a backard of cold water on your head and remember who the fuck you are. That's relatively what I had to do today. I'm going to get you the comment now because I'm not explaining it very well, but I think you get the idea which is that we should all just take a moment to pause at the horror show that has been the Katrina Ruth show for the past week and a half. I guess it's not too bad to have only lost your way for like 10 days, and now I can return to being a badass. But it's been a horrible 10 days, hasn't it? Hasn't it been disgusting? Have you noticed? Who's noticed? I just can't even understand what was going through this crazy head of mine. I really can't bear the sight of myself, except that I fully love and accept myself. So I am quite happy about the whole situation, regardless. Because I'll come back stronger, and more powerful and more excited than ever. Wait right there, wait one second, don't go anywhere. Okay, I'm back. I'm going to see if I could put a...what's happening here, it's very bumpy on this road. Okay, I just left a comment. You can read that comment at your own leisure, it's quite long. But it tells you about the new programme. You're going to need to jump on it quickly. I was so behind..because there's a top 10 bonus that's going on with me this week. But that's the whole sales page right there, deal with it. It's also in the P.S of the blog that I just posted. If you need a bit of a slap up the ass? Cheek? In the ass? Wherever you like your slaps, you're going to want to go and read that blog post. What it's about really, is we're so...Okay this is a cool wall, did you see that wall with the girl on it? Man, I need to come back and have a photo shoot on that wall one day. You were the first one Lily, actually I don't know because I didn't log in and look at my PayPal or anything. But you were the one that commented so you might have been the first one. I don't know if anybody else just bought it on the site and didn't bother commenting. But I didn't have a sales page. I don't even have an infusion self link. I went old school. I still know how to do things old school on the internet before I had staff. So sneakily logged into my own PayPal which I never do and which I probably don't even think I know how to get into anymore. I made my own subscription links to my own payment buttons and then I just put the mother fucking PayPal button right here on the internet. Like a crazy person, I know, I'm out of control. Somebody needs to control me. It's perfect timing because I'm going out and I'm going to be totally out of control, and do all the things...okay here we are. We've arrived. I'm going to keep going, I'm going to get the money out though, for this taxi driver who's probably what on earth on up to. Britta, I know you'll appreciate the title of that blog, I saw you press like on that blog. I felt you'd be quite happy with it because I feel like you are somebody like me that enjoys a good ass kicking. Particularly when it comes from their own self. I wrote it for you from my high self for your high self which is really roughly the same thing because we are one in the same person. Let me put my air pods in so that not everybody else to listen to me while I stand out this front of a beach club and shout out [inaudible 00:11:46]. So we're definitely going to go meet some new fabulous people tonight when she gets here. We're going to do many interesting things. Thank you. Alright, thank you. Good, how are you? Good thank you. Alright, alright, I'm just waiting for my friend. Alright, so, look at the lighting. I look amazing. This is way better. I should hang out here all the time. Alright, where should I sit? Let me just perch over here. Look at all these scooters, it's scooter central. Why don't I do more live streams outdoor in Bali? Okay, so you gotta read that, Britta you're going to be in there anyway, you've got to read that...Okay, have you seen my tattoos down my side? Because I feel like this tops highlight them really well. Okay, my phone just told me I was in rotate. Rotate, I'm trying to rotate. Here you go. It's just a good view with that top on. Okay, am I making any sense. Have I said anything that relatively noteworthy or interesting? I'm going to make a meme and the meme is going to be "Don't you hate it when you accidentally wake up boring as fuck" or something like that. Don't steal my meme you meme fanatics because that meme is coming tomorrow. I'm going to kick so much fucking ass this week that's it's going to be ridiculous. So you needed that blog, everybody needed that blog. Somebody needs to get the blog link and put the link here into the comment-y thingy thing. Anyway, so then what happened? I'm just going to drop Patrick in it, why not? He messaged me and said he didn't really care for my Facebook ads, that's what happened. This is probably where it all started. It started before that, okay? It started like...it started the second I said yes to thinking that a goal could rel...like, at all remotely be about money or about, what's it called, growth and numbers. Growth about tearing shit up on the internet and all the things that I already said in the blog which I probably don't need to report about [inaudible 00:13:47] anyway. That's when it all started. I got myself side tracked by the idea that I might do things purely for growth reasons. Sometimes, I just forget and then I run the same fucking script [inaudible 00:13:59]. Update my hard drive, I don't know what's going on in this whole software programme. It's quite disgusting. We already talked about that and about how disgusting it is. Lily you're a legend, thank you. Everybody read that blog that Lily just popped in, or it's just like the post that's underneath this livestream when you jump off. So it was festering away, I've been feeling like a clipped, like a clipped fucking eagle. Like an eagle with it's wings clipped, and I get angry. I'm like an angry eagle with it's wings clipped. I'm surprised more people haven't had their heads...aw thank you Claire...I'm surprised more people haven't had their heads ripped off by me, but probably because I've been in Bali, I've been quite happy. So it was festering away, and I was marinating in my own disgusting-ness. At the same time I was having just the best time ever in Bali because I always do. And becoming super Bali flow and super flow, and then I was just underneath it I like, just shitty and I'm going to punch a bitch soon and it's probably going to be my own higher self. Meanwhile, I was trying to tell myself some pretty little story about whatever, so then, yeah that was what was going on. Then I stopped selling. Like 10 days ago because I was bored with everything. I was bored with the whole entire internet, every single one of you. I'm sorry to tell you, but when you're bored with other people it's because you're bored with yourself, so. I stopped selling. I don't think in 12 years online that I've ever had a 10 day period of not selling, it's unheard of, it's unseemly, it's unbecoming, it's uncouth, and it should not happen. It's just been a horrible thing to behold, to be quite honest with you. But at the same time it's been an amazing, powerful reminder. Amazing, powerful reminder. Amazing, powerful reminder. [inaudible 00:15:35] Amazing, powerful reminder. And I'm so grateful now, I'm so excited to smack myself down [inaudible 00:15:42] myself up. Oh wait, and everyone joining breaktheinternet.com as well. Don't go to the URL. I have to keep explaining that. I don't know why I like to complicate things, but it's just funny. The sell is in the comment that's not pinned, but it's at the bottom of the blog as well. There is no sales page, you got to go...I just went old school, I put a PayPal straight on Facebook. I'm such a rule breaker. Anyway, all that was happening and then, yes, we're going to drop Patrick in because then he messages me and he's like Listen. He didn't say it exactly like this but this is relatively the tone. I don't really care for your Facebook ads, is what he said. He didn't care for them at all. He said it in a more subtle way than that, but I was like "tell me more, tell me exactly what you mean, tell me right now." I was very demanding about it. My night is going to be so epic Shannon. We're going to tear shit up. And my friend who is coming down to meet me is quite the irreverent one as well, so it's going to be, going to be interesting. We're on a mission, a mission to have all the fun, it's going to happen. I already warmed up for it last night, so tonight is getting even bigger night. Yes, he said that in an even nicer way. Sort of nicer? It was nice...it was to the point, it was direct. It had to be said, and I was like, "Whoa, people don't call me out on shit, but okay you do and you can and you're probably like the only person who can." And I was curious, I was straight away curious because he was very subtle about what he said. And I knew exactly what he meant though straight away. Because I was like, "I god damn knew it". And so I just wrote back and I was like "fuck" and by "fuck" I meant "I know exactly what you mean". And then I said, "tell me more" and then, yeah, basically I just had to confess and admit that I am the most boring person on the entire internet. It's quite sad to admit, but it's just the truth of the matter. Alright I'm looking around to see if I see anybody that I know. Not yet. I think I'm fairly noticeable though just perching up here and people are going to see...Lily's just dropping links. She should be on commission. She's just dropping freaking PayPal links. You can read the whole description as well, or you can just do what Lily did and click the PayPal link and buy things without reading anything. Yeah, so we basically established that I'm the most boring person on the internet. And I don't know how I've gotten away with everything that I have gotten away up until now while being so lame. I love and fully accept myself anyway because, just like if I gain a bit of weight, I still love myself. It's not self love if I gain weight, and it's also not self love based on if I become the most boring fucking person on the internet. Which is exactly what happened. But I will kick my own ass. Okay, I feel like why is she not here and should we go on a little hunt for her? Okay she did tell me to go in and secure a day bed and I haven't done that. I'm just meandering and lurking out the front. It is what it is. What else do I even need to tell you? I don't know, I'm like giving away my main content for tomorrow already. Don't you just hate it when wake up fucking boring, but I'll try to break it down for you a little more. I don't know where I'm going with this however [inaudible 00:18:46] tonight is just going to get lit up because I've got the energy that's coming through. It's going to keep exploding this fire inside of me. You know that I'm about to go into mad as fuck super flow now, right? So that's why I'm actually really grateful that I've turned boring because now I got angry at myself and like I said the first module of training is going to be called 'Get fucking angry'. So it's going to result in incredible content, incredible super flow. I'm going to reverse age even faster than I already have. I didn't need to write reverse age into the description of the other, I'm going to edit that in. So that's one of the things that you get, reverse ageing. And if you think I'm even remotely joking, then look at my skin. Look at this glow, I'm nearly 40. Well I'm 38, I'm nearly 39. So I'm not making it up. I'm just telling you the truth as I see it and as I create it and as I write it. So you will get the reverse ageing included, that's a free bonus. That's a free bonus for the first 10 people, thank you Greta, it's all the alignment. It's the alignment and my happiness. And that's even with the disgusting-ness of the past 7 days, mind you. Imagine how good I'm going to look by the end of this week. There's people literally right there while I'm saying this. [inaudible 00:20:00] a woman who also reverse ages because she's amazing as fuck and one of my bestest friends in the world since forever and a hundred years. Okay, what was I up to. So you're going to get a top 10 bonus, you get a 1 on 1 call with me. Top 20 bonus, you get the 1 on 1, no...if you're in the 10 you get the top 10...top 20 bonus you get 5 days of my journaling, that can be a little frightening for some people but it is what it is. Top everybody bonus, you get reverse ageing. I'm going to say the average will be 2-5 years in a 10 day period. And I'm not joking, okay? Whoops, maybe I am in trouble, I just got a WhatsApp that came at the top of my screen that said all of your Facebook ads have now been turned off, please advise when you're free to discuss. I was like “oh, shit”. Am I being watched? Technically I'm in charge of this company because it's my company and I created it, but when you have a team and you give them licence to do things, as a rebel without a cause, and I have many causes. You then naturally start to fill obliged to just rebel against your own team. Even though they're there to help and support you. But actually, actually what their role is obviously to help and support you, to be all that you are. And if I'm not being the craziest f- creator and breaking all the rules including my own rules and doing mad ridiculous shit on the internet, then nobody's ass is going to get paid in this business. That's the reality and do you know what else is going to happen? I'm going to tell you and it's probably going to upset you because it's directly about you. If that happens, my world my potential implode, I would never actually go this far. But let's just play it out and as a result of that, considering that I created this reality and it's my reality, all of you would disappear. And you would just be done, your characters would be eliminated, so actually I'm just sitting here, outside of the beach club, waiting for my friend, saving fucking lives. And I think you could send me a love heart shower for that. And also, I said an intention two days ago, okay I'm definitely getting high, I'm starting to trip. I never need anything because I just create the trip inside myself. Only two days ago, I said an intention that I was going to do a hilarious fuck life stream on the weekend and I forgot about that. It definitely didn't happen yesterday because I was being insanely boring, and just a disgusting sight to behold, like we've already discussed. And now I've just realised that I've slipped into performer, entertain mode. And their playing one of my top songs. Okay where is...where is she? She's still not here? Hang on, wait. No that's not her. Yes we've found a person. Okay I'm going to have to go. Would you like to appear on my live stream? It's been quite out of control. Alright, I've found somebody who's going to get up to all sorts of shenanigans with. Oh, yeah. This is the amazing Melissa Withers, and it's going to be crazy, if you, well, if you would have seen this live video, you would have seen that I was probably on a lot of shit. [laughter 00:23:16] and said a whole lot of shit is about to go down. So that's basically the entire story, we have to go. This many people we have to go and find a bed. Watch the replay, read the comment, buy the thing. It's going to sell out. Exactly what she said. Alright, yes. Bye bye. Good luck.

Purposeful pain. Are you leveraging it to receive more?

Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2018 50:01

Am I live? Am I live? I felt like the phone was gonna have a small meltdown, like a literal meltdown. I hate meltdown. I'm trying to find that perfect ... What the fuck has happened here? Holy shit. My laptop looks like somebody drew on it with crayons. I think it's because I've got this pen in here in my laptop case, from the W, that has a pink eraser on the end of it. I also have a Lego man in my Chanel laptop case. Seems normal. I don't know how that Lego man got in there, I mean, I can easily guess, but I didn't realise I had a Lego man in there. Hi, hi, Karen. What's up? Tell me hello. That's what I want. Say hello to me people. How are my visuals? Because I'm in that thing of like, I'm in the sun, so I can't see anything. Put my other live on pause to join me live. Joseph always comes on and announces himself. He tags his own name in, is what he does. And then he puts his phone number in, He does this every time! All right, where is my face? Okay. He always puts his name in and then, he puts his phone number in. It's the best thing ever. Okay, I am live. Please share, et cetera. Okay, I just had to message my team. Hello me, hello you, hello world. You guys, oh my God, oh my God, I've been brutalised. It's okay, it's all under control. I've had a traumatic past 70 or 80 minutes. I went to get a massage, as I do, and like my massage really fucking hot. Prank calls on. Who's gonna prank call me? Prank call me, do what you want. I like my massage ... I can't say it Australianese anymore, it just comes out Americanish. I like 'em fucking hot, you guys. Traditionally, over the years I've had some of the top sports therapists in the world work on me. Because I was in that industry, and I just always accessed, of course, the best people in the world the same way that I do now. I've had many comments over the years. One time, Charles Poliquin, he's one of the leading strength and conditioning coaches in the world and trains Olympic athletes, and he's fricking high level, right? He was doing active release therapy on my ... I broke my elbow like ten years ago, so he was doing active release therapy through there. And I was laying actually on his bed in his hotel room, because we had a course and it was there I asked to do the treatment. I was just talking to him while he was doing this work, and I've seen him do this work on other students, back in the day. Sometimes, they would have to be actually held down on the table, or on the bed, or whatever, because how excruciating it is. He strips the muscle right back to the core. I remember I just started talking to him and he kind of stopped and he was like, "Wow, you have a really high pain tolerance." And I was like, "I guess I just know that it's beneficial, or whatever. It's not that I can't feel it, but I just choose to opt into it and allow it." The other week, I had probably one of my best compliments ever. That made me so happy, which was my tattoo artist Vlad said to me, as we were finishing up for the day, he was like, "I really can't tell if you're happier when you get more pain or less pain. Like when we finish earlier, or when we go longer." I'm like, well there's benefits both times. But just now, I had this massage that was so fucking brutal that I kind of stumbled out of the ... it was like an eight dollar fifty, Bali massage, right? And I swear he pretty much created new striations all over my body. He stripped all the muscle just right back to the core, to the point where I kept being like, "Okay I'm gonna tell him stop, I'm gonna tell him stop." It was so freaking excruciating. I was like, he's gonna explode my calf muscles or then my glutes, or wherever it was. And I just kept going, but I can do one more, I can do one more, and I just breathed through it. But my god, I feel like every piece of muscle in my body has been tenderised and pulverised like if you were gonna cook me up for dinner, I would be the most amazing fillet in the world. I mean I get Bali massage all the time, but it was next, next, next level. So then I stumbled out of there, and I was gonna go eat. I was supposed to be sitting down and eating now. That was my plan that I had in my head. I haven't eaten yet today, but I was just like, there's no fucking way I can eat after that. And frankly I don't know if I could think or write anything, or what I'm gonna do. Hang on. My team haven't even seen that I'm live. Let me just share this livestream over. So, I just kind of stumbled back up here and decided to do a little livestream first, before I obviously go and maybe eat something. But I thought, let's talk about purposeful pain, because I feel like it's an area that people could probably stand to get their ass kicked a little bit around. Do you know what I mean? You tell me first. Do you actively lean into pain? Do you actively choose pain in your life? Do you actively go looking for pain? Purposeful pain, right? So, maybe let's talk about what purposeful pain means. I'm not a fan of pain just for the sake of pain. Like, for example, sex comes to mind. Lots of people I know are into pain in sex, for example. To me, that doesn't actually feel purposeful, and I don't like it. So I'm not trying to ... Well, I don't mind a bit of mild choking. But I'm not trying to make some point like I just like pain, or something like that. But I've really learned over the years to understand what sort of pain is purposeful, and what that means by it being purposeful I guess, and how to differentiate maybe. And I really feel ... Okay, let me check this sharing because she doesn't seem to have seen it. Hang on. Okay. Are you not online? Okay, hang on, let's share. I sent my assistant [inaudible 00:06:44] a message that I was live and that she should share it because she does that for me usually. But I don't think she's online, so I'll try and do that now myself real quick and then we'll continue on. Because I think that this is probably, I do feel that this is probably one of the, I guess keys, for me. This is kinda one of the big keys that has made a difference in my ability to create massive results and massive success. And obviously it doesn't always mean physical pain, but we can talk about what it does mean and how it applies to business and how it applies to receiving money. Because I really want to come on here today and give you some powerful content that you can walk away with that's gonna help you to access a higher ability to receive. Money, yes, but also I guess other things that you like and desire and choose. So if that sounds good, and that's what you want to talk about, and obviously whatever else comes up along the way. Send me the love hot shower, because you know I like to see it. Send it to me. All right I think we did our sharing. Okay, okay. Cool. Yep. All right, cool. So that's done. So, yes, massage right. Like I work out a lot, I have incredibly tight muscles apparently and everybody always comments on it whenever I get worked on. So to me it's like, well, if I'm gonna go and spend that time doing that, I really don't wanna just get into like a relaxed, floaty state and then walk out. That's nice from time to time, but I would rather put myself through something that is so excruciating that I'm using my freaking labour breathing exercises to get through this massage. Every moment through the entire hour thinking ... and actually told him 90 minutes and then I think he didn't hear me and did an hour, and at the end I was kind of grateful for that. I was like, "I think that was good. That was, I think, an hour." I'd rather get through a massage like that where every moment, every minute is fucking excruciating and I don't know if I can keep going. I definitely have some kind of ego that comes into it, right? Like I feel tough, or I feel like a badass where I'm fully aware that a very small percentage of people can take the level of pain that I can take. In that example or other examples as well. And I've been told this many times, that I'm way more okay with it than even some of the biggest, strongest men that therapists work on. So I'm like, "Booyah! I'm a badass!" So that's part of it for sure, I'm not ashamed to admit it. But it's also, I'm just thinking of the outcome. I'm just thinking of how tight my hips and glutes get, and my hip flexors, and how that impacts my back. I had a back injury from a couple years ago that still gives me some grief. And how I want to be able to lift fucking heavy in the gym, and I wanna be able to do all the things, and I want to be able to go crazy with my workouts. And I wanna be able to run and play and chase after my children, and I wanna have incredible mobility and flexibility as I get on in later years. So to me it's like, am I going to endure this one hour of pretty fucking extreme, excruciating pain getting my muscles stripped back to the core, or am I gonna say, "No that hurts too much. No no, stop. Please stop." And then walk around with muscles that are wound and bound and don't allow me to move freely. To me, that's obvious, but you've still gotta put yourself through that pain. And I guess reality is people just don't choose this. And this is really, I feel, such a big conversation that's relevant and critical to the results that you may be getting in business. So in business it's not typically gonna be a physical sort of pain, is it? But it can feel more scary or more confronting than that. So for example, let's say that you know, maybe because you watch me and you follow my stuff and you see how I show up and you see the sort of work that I do with my Rich Hot Empire clients to my Inner Circle clients and so on and so forth. You know that I'm about consistency, right? I'm about showing the fuck up every single day, bringing the message, bringing the truth, no holds barred, authentic. And then selling every day as well. I guess I'm pretty well known for putting myself out there and not holding anything back and kind of baring my soul, and baring all and letting people hear my vulnerabilities and my struggles and the ups and downs. And the reality is, it's not just because I show up every day and I message and I preach and I teach and I sell that I have the business that I have. And I think you know this but I think we can talk about this in a bigger way, right? Anybody can come onto the internet and post shit online every day, livestream, message, et cetera, et cetera. That doesn't mean you can build a cult-like loyal tribe following who are going to buy all your shit, often without even reading it actually and regardless of price point. It doesn't mean that you're gonna have some of the highest conversion rates in the industry which is what I have and what I teach my clients. It doesn't mean that you're gonna have this incredible connection where it really is like a soulmate thing with each of your clients and community members. In order to get that, it's gotta be not just, "Oh yeah, you know, I posted every day. I message and I show up and even make stuff online and sell it from time to time." It's really gotta be, are you facing into the fire every day? And okay, it doesn't always feel like that. Not every massage makes you feel like you just went through a giving birth-type experience in terms of the pain levels. Not every workout in the gym feels like you're left on the floor sweating and bleeding and nearly dying and your higher self is saying, "Yes, but are you dead yet? No, then get up and keep going." Which is definitely how I trained and kicked my own ass this morning. I was like, nobody in the hotel gym downstairs here, where I'm at, at an AirBnB here in Bali but the AirBnB's like the penthouse in a hotel. That's where I'm at now in my little garden. And nobody watching, nobody checking on whether, like, there was no one there to impress, right? There was no one there to show that I'm a badass. I do like that, I'll admit that as well. I like when people see me work myself hard in the gym kicking my own ass. I like the looks I get from guys and from girls, kinda like what the fuck? I go hard, right. But today, and many days, there was nobody there to watch that, there was nobody there to impress. Okay, maybe I'm telling you about it so maybe I'm looking for validation now. But it was more that I want to feel the way I want to feel, right? I want to feel alive. I want to feel like I'm really leaving everything there. I want to feel like I fucking showed up. For my workout, for my business, for my messaging, for my life. Because I, probably like a lot of people, I've had enough time throughout my life ... Hey, Sarah! Are you still in Bali? Are you in Bali? Where are you? Are you in Uluwatu? I've had enough years in my life, and I'm sure you can relate, where I've showed up in a half-assed way. I did that. I freaking did that. I showed up in a half-assed way for two marriages, I showed up in a half-assed way many times over the years for different stuff to do with my fitness and my health. I've had many phases where I'm like, "Well I am working out every day and I am eating well, so why am I not maintaining or getting the body I exactly want?" Well I wasn't, like ... there's showing up and there's fucking showing up, right? And I've had many times in my business journey as well. Honestly it comes and goes, it ebbs and flows. There's times even to this day where I'm like, "I'm kinda flaking around here. I'm 'showing up' but I'm not showing up." Oh, almost time, okay. And I just kinda feel like, the more that time passes and the more you learn about what success really takes and the more you learn about yourself, and maybe also the older you become, you kind of like, "I'm not here to fuck around, bitches. I'm not here to fuck around." I mean, I've always been this sort of person and I'm sure you as well ... send me the love hot shower if this is you, right? Since a young age, I haven't been a person to fuck around. Overall, I've shown the fuck up and that's why I'm such a high achiever and always have been in my life. And so yeah, I'm quite certain that you can relate to that and that's you. But as a high achiever, maybe there's a flip side of sometimes we just are never satisfied and we're never done and we always want more and we always know we can go harder. There's kind of this stuff that goes into play with that where we go gotta learn sometimes to be nice to ourselves, and compassionate to ourselves, and have a break. So yeah, that's part of it. But it's also that acknowledging something, and here's probably one of my big points that I wanted to make today. It's about acknowledging, "You know what? I am, you are, we are, the ones who we like it. We get off on the pain. We enjoy it. We thrive on it." Yes, there's an ego aspect that comes into it. Yes, there's like, "Look at me, bitches. I'm a badass." I wanna be the person in the gym, particularly the woman in the gym but even overall, I wanna be the one who's training the hardest. I like when people are like, they're not even quite sure what the fuck's happening. I like when the massage guy is sweating and he needs a one hour nap afterward. Me and the comments that I get. I like that when I leave the tattoo parlour on Saturday ... even though I was really feeling all that pain all day Saturday, I did not really feel like in my flow zone with my inking work I had done a few days back. But when I left, I laughed at the chick in reception who's like, "You literally never complain, I've never seen ..." She's like, "You are so hardcore, I've never seen you make a face, I've never seen you complain all the times you come in here. I've just never seen this before." I like that. I do like it. I feel good about myself. But it's not just that, it's that I wanna feel fucking alive in my life, right? I wanna feel that I'm showing up for my life. I wanna feel that I'm pressing play. I wanna feel that I went all in. I don't wanna get through the day and be like, "Well I went to the gym and I hosted a blog and I did a livestream and I tick, tick, tick." List your way through your fucking life but did you ever know you were alive? That's not what I want and it's not what my clients want. It's not what I, you wanna work with me? It's not the sort of work we'll be doing in Rich Hot Empire, for example. In the Inner Circle, we go into the fucking fire, we go into the fray, we get down on the floor bleeding and sweating and crying ... metaphorically, generally, hence what we get up to on retreats. That can be all sorts of interesting adrenaline shit. Potentially, why not right? But we wanna be, I guess, confronted. And we wanna have to face into our fears or our resistances or our, I don't know, I guess that side that is in all of us. Even the most badass ones amongst us, which is us, that side that's kind of like, "Well, you know, you don't have to. You could just do this and just do that and that way, hey, you still did it. You went to the gym, you did your message, you did your sales activity, your putting your clientele out there, so where's the millions of dollars?" So to come back to the point that I was making about how I show up and why I have the level of cult-like following that I do and what I teach you when you work with me as a client in order to build your soulmate tribe and to have incredible conversion, right? People paying and saying yes without even reading in full, blah blah blah. All that stuff, right? For that to take place, you're gonna have to go the extra mile. You're going to need to be that version of yourself who reaches into their own soul and is like, when it hurts, when I can't keep going, when it's too confronting, when it feels scary, when I wanna hide, when I feel like oh who's watching or who's listening, when I feel self-conscious, when I feel vulnerable, when I feel tired, when I feel like I don't really have to ... I am gonna pick myself up and I am gonna keep going, or I am gonna take a breath and I'm gonna ask myself, "Yes, but is this purposeful and what is the result that I want?" Now, I'm gonna be the last person to say to you that you should endure pain, or putting yourself out there, or not resting or taking care of yourself, purely to make some kind of point. No, I'm not pro-burning yourself out. I'm not pro-never taking care of yourself. I'm like the queen of fucking self-care. God, all I do I feel like half the time is journal and massage and this to me is what I wanted to do. This is feeding my soul, doing this right here. I don't want to be sitting in the sun doing nothing. I'm like, "Okay, I'm in my bikini. I'm getting my tan on. But I want to do content, that's what feels good for me." So you know, it's not that I'm saying don't take care of yourself. Of course not, and I think you know that. But it's about what is the outcome that you want? If you're gonna show up anyway for your business, if you're gonna get your message out there, if you're gonna freaking reach inside of you and create something and put it out there to the world, if you're gonna tell people what's up and what actions to take, are you gonna do it from a perspective of, "Well I did it. I got through the hour," or, "I wrote the damn email," or "I built the landing page," or "I build the funnel," or "I did an opt-in, and so where's my millions of followers and millions of dollars. Where is it? Why? Because I'm doing everything Kat does?" It's like eh, not really, maybe technically in a very 2D, 1%ish sort of way you're doing like a grey scale representation of what I'm doing, or what my million dollar clients are doing, what my six-figure or modest six-figure dollar client is doing, and even what my clients who are just getting started are doing who are like, putting themselves out there from the get go because they actually fucking decided to back themselves. It's a huge difference, right? There's a huge difference in the energy that comes when you're fully fricking showing up, and there is a huge fucking difference in the result. So I feel like what we get to look at, and what I am passionate about looking at with my clients and exactly what I'm going to be doing starting next week, for example, when I dive into the next round of Rich Hot Empire, which I'll tell you about in a moment. It's about not just like hey, here's the building blocks of success. Yay! Let's message, let's do livestreams, let's create videos, let's do an update, sure, let's build a fucking funnel. That's easy, I'll show you how to do that. Let's do sales pages, let's do sales flow, let's, you know, tick all these boxes. That's like, I can write that on a fucking pdf for you. You don't need a mentor to tell you that these are some of the building blocks of having a successful online business. You can just observe that. But where you maybe need a mentor to come along and kick your ass is to help you repeatedly stare into that fire, stare into that heat I guess, feel what feels like pain or resistance or massive fucking confrontation or, "Am I really gonna say that? Am I really gonna put that out there like that? Am I gonna reach in to my soul and let what's inside of there out? Am I gonna reach in and grab them by the soul?" Which is what gets people following and responding. You need somebody who has I guess kind of gone there before and done that and showed up that way in their life, but you'll still need to flip that switch for yourself, with or without a mentor being part of the picture obviously. My point is that I show up for my clients. I'm not here to fricking say, "Hey, do some messaging. Do some sales activity. Here's how. Blah blah blah." Obviously I teach my clients all that stuff, but really what I'm here to do is to reach into your soul, help you to reach into your soul, and then bare it to the world. Because anyone can write a fucking 2,000 word blog post or a sales demo or a sales pitch or any of these things. And if that's your approach, and your approach is to get through that checklist of things in business so that people follow you and buy, I'm gonna tell you you'll be waiting a long fucking time in order to get those results that you're looking for. If right now you feel frustrated or you feel like you don't understand why it's not working, well here's the reality. It doesn't matter! It doesn't fucking matter if you are the most consistent motherfucker on the internet as far as posting your content, if we can't feel your soul. And for that to take place, yes, reality check. A lot of the time it is going to require you to lean into pain. A lot of the time it is going to require you to feel massive discomfort, massive confrontation, massive vulnerability, fear of rejection, fear of what people think, fear of God knows what else happening, fear that it won't work, fear of what your fricking mother or family will say about the way you put yourself out there. "Why are you always telling people all your problems on the internet?" A lot of my clients have family members say this sort of thing to them. All of these different things, that is what I mean by purposeful pain relevant to business. It would be so easy for me so much of the time to not show up the way that I show up. If you follow my content for any more than like a week or two, you're gonna see that I post a pretty high amount of shit that is really fricking raw and it's very vulnerable and it's about my most intimate, transparent, personal stuff. Not just business stuff, well it could be business stuff related to my fears and doubts and insecurities in my journey. But I also post a lot of stuff to do with love, and relationship stuff, and then moving out of my marriage, and how I feel about being a mum, stuff that's really vulnerable. Don't look at me or anybody else that does this and imagine that we've got some kind of superhuman self-confidence because we just don't. It's about commitment to the message. It's about letting what's inside of my come out. It's about trusting and knowing that if I drop my bullshit story about it being scary or painful, and if I let what I know is meant to come out out, then I'm gonna get a result. But for that to happen, yeah, there's that moment where I maybe feel an idea for a post coming through me or I maybe notice myself about to say something on a livestream. And there's that moment where you're like, maybe I won't though. Just like in the massage earlier today where there was many fucking moments for the entire hour where I'm like, "I can tell him stop, I cannot take this any more." It was so fucking painful. It was right on the edge of my tongue, and then I was just thinking, "But I can feel him releasing muscle tissue so deep down to my bones." I felt like he was massaging my bones, he was so deep, and the table was fucking going backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards from the amount of pressure he was exerting on me. He's like a strong dude and he was sweating like a motherfucker. It was full on, I'm gonna tell you. So I kept being like I'm gonna stop, I'm gonna tell him to stop, it's too much now, this is crazy, nobody needs to endure this much pain in a massage, I can still get a benefit if I tell him to back off just a little bit. But I could feel the muscles being stripped away, I could feel oxygen coming back into the muscles, I could feel this deep release in areas that give me a lot of day-to-day grief to be honest. And I was like no, it's a fucking hour of my life. Do I want to get through the hour and get the outcome of having like, increased amazing mobility which I now have, which I can already feel in my body as a result of that? Or am I going to back the fuck away? And when it comes to pressing play, pressing publish, pressing post, getting your content out there it is the exact same thing on repeat. You're gonna have that moment in time where something comes through and it's like this is what I should say to people. And maybe it's fiery, maybe it's ranty, maybe it's extremely raw and it feels terrifying and it feels like you're literally stripping yourself naked and showing it to people, and there's that moment in time: "I didn't have to say that, right? Who's gonna know? Who's gonna know if you never pressed publish?" Well you will. When it comes end of this year, end of the decade, end of your life, you're gonna fucking know from the fact that you didn't create the fucking life you were born for. You didn't create the impact that you came here to create, you didn't make the money that you could've made either, you didn't live into your destiny. And it comes down to all these moments in time when we either lean in to purposeful pain, and you can substitute the word resistance or anything like that as well, or we turn away from it. I really think that, to be the leader of the leaders, which is what I am ... My clients in Rich Hot Empire are the leaders. They're the ones who are the 1% within the 1%. In my Inner Circle, which is my kind of follow-on from Rich Hot Empire. Yes, I'm talking about Rich Hot Empire a lot because it's going live next week for my April intake. Actually [inaudible 00:26:01] if you're watching, can you drop a comment about Rich Hot Empire now? And I'll talk about that in a moment. You know, I lead the people who are the leaders, who are the 1% of the 1%, who know that they were born for more. My clients didn't come along just to learn how to make fricking six figures on the internet. They know that they're here to make millions, impact millions, and change the fucking world. And they're willing to do what it takes. But that's just not something you say, right? Everybody says hell yes to that. Everybody says I'm willing to do what it takes no matter what it takes, I am the 1% within the 1%! I'm a revolutionary fucking leader! Et cetera, et cetera. It's like okay cool, then in that moment did you lean into pain or did you pull away from it because it felt scary, because it felt confronting, because you worried about what your fricking best friend from high school was gonna say about it or your mom or your person that you've got a crush on or whoever else it is. Or you're just worried that people are gonna not like me, people are gonna think I'm crazy, or what does this have to do with anything anyway? And it's not just about your messaging, it's about all the different elements of building this empire. I look back through the history of my now coming up to 12 years marketing online, and now I'm at a point in my business ... And this is what a lot of people who want to work with me want, a lot of people who do Rich Hot Empire inspire to this for example. I'm location-free, not everyone wants to be location-free but I think everyone wants to have the freedom where they could pick up and go wherever they want any time they want, right? A lot of my clients like to be location-free. I'm location-free, I do do what I want all day. I really just follow flow, I don't do anything that I don't want to do. I have an amazing team who do all the bits in my business that I used to have to do myself, that I don't really want to do any more. I have an incredible community, thank you for being here. I have what are called [inaudible 00:27:46] my community, meaning that it's total [inaudible 00:27:47] connection it's not just like a group of people and an email list that I sell shit to. It's an actual tribe, it's a family, it's a community. And I get to sell and make money doing what I love, and doing my purpose work in the world. I guess I got to now where it's kind of like the holy grail of being an online entrepreneur right? Of course I'm still striving, as a high achiever I'm never done and I'm completely like, "I'm good enough, I've done enough, I have enough." I'm in full love and acceptance and this moment right here is perfect and I really mean that, and I have everything already. And I'm gonna take on the fucking world and I'll never be done, and I'm sure you probably feel the same. Or a lot of people feel the same. If you don't feel the same, you definitely should not message me about working with me one-on-one in Rich Hot Empire. Just to be clear. But if you know that there's always gonna be more, then you're definitely somebody that would be a potential client of mine. But I guess what I was trying to say is also, we're getting to the point where like I'm past the money shit, right? I moved past the money struggle, I moved past the fear of not being able to pay even for food let alone rent. I moved past the years, and it did feel like years, it was years actually, of frustration and turmoil and why aren't people buying my stuff, and why is it when I go the real offer that I wanna do that I don't seem to get a response. I got through all that, so I have achieved all the dreams and goals that I had for many years as an online entrepreneur. And that's now what I work with my clients to do and it's the most amazing, tremendous honour ever. And when I look back at how I did that, there are literally tens of thousands of moments over the past 12 years and before that even, in my life before the online world which was an actual thing, where I lent into pain. I felt like I didn't wanna do something. I mean, it would be impossible for me to count the thousands of workouts that I've done where I didn't feel like getting up in the morning, where I wanted to hit the snooze button or I just didn't really feel like going to the gym. But if I had of not done those, I wouldn't have cultivated myself into the person I am now. I don't even mean that I am fit and in-shape and all that, and that I just get better and better with age. I get younger with age as well, by the way, just so you know. But mostly what I mean is that it's part of me, it's so easy now, it's automatic. It's who I am that I take care of my health and fitness, because there was a period earlier on where I had to kick my own ass around all the time. I remember day after day after day after day for years, the alarm going off at ungodly-o'clock. And then even when I had a newborn child and it was repeatedly, "But I want more sleep," or I want this or I want this, and then it was like, "Do you want the fucking outcome bitch?" And I did what I needed to do to get the outcome. I was so outcome-focused from so early on in my life, but at so many pivotal stages as well. I think being a new mom is definitely one of them. With business also, it would be impossible for me to try and remember the thousands of blog posts or videos or livestreams or also paid content that would not exist right now if I had of lent away from pain, if I had, "Oh that one's uncomfortable," or "I don't really feel like writing today," or "I don't really think I've got anything to say, I feel silly," or "Nobody bought my last offer that I put out there so now I'm gonna walk away with my tail between my legs." I just repeatedly showed the fuck up, and you have the choice to do this as well. I know if you're in my community and you're telling me, "I know you're showing up, but you know that there's showing up and then there's showing the fuck up right?" I just think that life is this continual process of moments in time where we get to either lean into creating destiny or we turned away from it. For me personally, that is a big guiding light for me. It's a big force inside of me or a driving force or it's a [inaudible 00:31:40] where I make my decisions ... I talk a lot about I make my decisions based on [inaudible 00:31:45] connected to that what fucking feels right for me is for me to achieve my destiny and for me to achieve my purpose. And for me to live a standard of excellence in different areas in my life. I just refuse to accept that I should have to settle, sacrifice or compromise on a single issue in my life. And I refuse to accept that view either, but guess what? For me, or even that for you is probably not gonna be enough. You're probably gonna have to press play on that shit for yourself as well, right? But this is what I believe, for my clients and for my community. I believe you can have it all, I believe you can have it on your terms. I believe you can make millions of dollars, impact millions of people if that's what your messaging truly is, get your true message out there, get paid for your purpose work, get paid every day where you're literally like, "I didn't do anything! I just do what I want all day! I totally follow flow!" But then actually I'm fucking showing up. I'm bearing my soul to the world every day. I'm letting my art out every day. I'm selling every day. I'm building my business every day. I'm doing many other things that I haven't even touched on here in my business every day because I want the damn outcome and because the outcome is purposeful. Not because I necessarily felt like doing it at that time. The many many nights that I've gotten back online when my children were already sleeping, the many many times that I've grabbed even 10 minutes here, 15 minutes here, to jump on and create something or do something. It's just been this continual process for over a decade now of marketing myself online of eye on the fucking prize, take action from that place. Just tuning in, tuning in, tuning in to where it is I know I wanna be and then being that version of myself. I just think it's shocking and astonishing to me how few people seem to get this, and I think it's very sad. I look around and you just repeatedly see these people like, "Oh I was tired so I slept in and I didn't go to the gym." And then, "Not fair, why is she my age and has kids and she has that body?" Okay bitch, how many fucking times for how many fucking years for how many decades now was I in the gym when you were like, "I was tired," or, "I didn't know what to do." Neither did I when I started. It's a never-ending conversation. Tell me some things, what are you thinking? Do I use the five second rule or am I motivated? Do I use the five second ... I can only read half your comment, Britney but I know what you mean. Well, I didn't technically use like a five second rule. I know what it is, but what I do is I think about the outcome. So when I don't feel like doing something, I will tune in and I will ask, "Is it still aligned for me to do this?" If I don't feel like working out, there's certainly occasions where I won't work out because I'll kind of connect in and I'm like, "Well do I need to have a rest or is it that I should definitely go move my body?" And I get the answer based on higher self and soul. And most of the time it's kick your own fricking ass and do the gym thing because as soon as you start you'll be like yes, I'm so fricking glad I'm here. But sometimes it takes like, 20 minutes, 30 minutes before you're like I'm so glad I'm here. And same with jumping in and turning the laptop on and doing some actual work, not just fucking around on Facebook, in your business. It's like "Uh, I don't really have anything to say. I don't feel inspired today. Nothing's coming through me, and nobody's really been engaging on my content and my last thing didn't sell anyway and uh." And then you fuck around on Facebook instead or you just don't even turn the laptop on in the first place. You just get out of the habit, you don't even make the fucking habit, or what if you just had the habit and what if it was about showing up based on where you want to be and based on what would that next-level version of myself do? That's the way I do it. I just go from the outcome. So when I say purposeful pain, to me that also means being result-based. Acting from the result or the outcome of what I want. Lisa says I have to remind myself, even if I feel the message ... I can't read your comment, it's cut off on the screen. Hang on let me read some comments over here. Christine says call you out when you think you're doing what you want but kinda know you're doing what you think will sell. Well that is right, being brave enough and courageous enough to put your true work out there. For sure. I don't know where you're coming in ... it has disappeared ... let me do a little refresh. So I wanna tell you guys about Rich Hot Empire though, I'm so passionate about this programme. There is a comment here, it's in the pinned comment you can actually read that and check that out. It says, "Rich Hot Empire is tick tick ticking towards you. Are you ready? It's motherfucking time. Work with me for six weeks personally, one-on-one, to grow your perfect cult tribe." This is such a cool programme, by the way. "Create and launch a low through to high-end empire and set up multiple recurring income streams to take you to seven figures and beyond doing what you love." So what I do is I work with the revolutionary leaders, the artists, the messengers, the 1% within the 1% badasses who know they're meant to play at this level and beyond. I've created a million dollar per year business doing what I love, like I've sort of been saying, based completely on my purpose work. Like, cool cool to make the money, that's definitely cool and I appreciate and love it and I continue to increase my income. But better than that I get to do what I love, it's based on my true purpose work. And the way that I've done that is I've sold low-cost products, programmes, information products, right through to high-cost stuff. So I think I have stuff as low as $21 up to ... I'm just thinking, oh no even more if you pay ... I don't know like $85,000 would be my highest price point. That's kind of like if a couple come into my Inner Circle together, for example. Or my Inner Circle currently is $6000 per month or $60,000 up front for the year. So it's $72,000 essentially. So that's my highest price point for my private one-on-one clients. Rich Hot Empire is one-on-one for six weeks, it's nothing like that price point obviously. Just so we're clear. But how I've built my business is a lot of low-cost products, a lot of moderate-priced products, and a limited amount of private coaching and high-end stuff. And I've done that by following soul and following [inaudible 00:37:37] but I've done it obviously also over the years by repeatedly saying yes to what I know is gotta be done. Rather than what fear is feeling or what resistance is feeling, I've done it by baring my soul and putting myself out there and showing up fully for my message and for my hustle and for my community. And not just fricking checklisting my way through. So this is some of what I'm going to be teaching you in Rich Hot Empire. So it's a six week personalised mastermind intensive with yours truly. One-on-one access to me as your private mentor throughout that entire six weeks. In fact, as soon as you sign up you're gonna already get access to me on my private client channel, we officially are kicking off next Monday April 30, US time. So if you're interested in knowing about working with me at this level and having my help to build your online empire, or to take it to the next level from where you're at, you can message me about that. You can message me on this page or over on my personal Katrina Ruth page. It is for entrepreneurs at all levels. What joins my clients together, what my clients have in common with one another and with me, is being that badass leader who knows that they were born for more and who refuses to do it based on normal rules of internet marketing. Fuck the rules, fuck the system, I show you how to do it by being you. By reaching into your soul and getting it out there. So I've had many people do Rich Hot Empire who completely were just getting started, and I've had others get started in Rich Hot Empire who were already doing over a million dollars a year in income when they first began with me, and anything in between. And the content is six weeks of structured content as well as six weeks one-on-one with me. I show you exactly what to do and exactly how to do it in every element of cult tribe building, creating your offers, launching your offers, doing your sales pitches, getting your offers out there, selling high ticket as well, creating [inaudible 00:39:20]. Anything you can imagine to do with an online business, I have trainings in there for you. You get to get all that training for life, you get my support on it and my team's support, advertising stuff as well all the way through the programme, and then you get me there by your side kicking your ass into alignment and massive fucking action all the way through. So some people come in and maybe they've already got some of this stuff going on and they don't necessarily need all the content, and others are jumping through every element of content. What I do as your mentor obviously is guide you to where your focus needs to be and support you in order to bring that to life. What else do I want to say? That's mainly what I wanted to tell you about Rich Hot Empire for now. It is honestly just such a life-changing and business-changing programme, I've been running it since 2016 now. It's the only thing that I actually do on repeat. It works so damn well and I'm very proud of it and I'm very proud of my clients and their results that have come through with that. So I'm super excited to jump in with everyone who's going to be starting next week. It is a private coaching experience so numbers are pretty limited. So if this is something that's speaking to you and you want to know more about working with me one-on-one, the very best thing to do now is to go message me on my personal Katrina Ruth page ... I might just [inaudible 00:40:25] coming in, um, no that's gonna come ... Well, you'll find it. You know where I am. Or you can message me here on the business page, I just kind of prefer getting messages on my personal page. I tend to go into that inbox more. So do that and then what I'll do is I'll send you a full overview that breaks down all the six modules and all the content that we do so you're understanding exactly what we're covering but also how the one-on-one side of it works, and obviously everything else you need to know as well. Tracy says, "Just jumping on. Why am I not notified as soon as you're going live?" You can choose that, right? You can choose to get notifications always. Have you done that on my business page or maybe just my personal? What is your opinion on failure? Have you ever felt like, maybe I can't do it, or have you always been quite confident and badass? I think I've always had a level of confidence. I was really fortunate to be raised in a way where I was repeatedly told that you can do anything you want ... my mom would tell me that you're like, better. Like above-average, successful and intelligent. To give it some context, I was a very shy, introverted kid and I really felt very unattractive and super uncool. And I was uncool in a kind of school cool sense, I always had like the wrong clothes and the wrong food and everything. But I was a kind of bookworm, literally to the point where on the play breaks I would go and hide in the bushes and read a book. I had friends as well, I wasn't like no friends. But I didn't feel attractive and I didn't feel good enough. So I think I would go to my mom when I was maybe my daughter's age, like eight, nine or ten. And I would feel bad and sad that I wasn't like the pretty girls or the cool girls. And I just remember my mom saying over and over, "Yeah but ..." Well she didn't say yes, she didn't agree with me that I wasn't pretty I think she [inaudible 00:42:16]. I was though, I look back at my photos now from when I was a kid, and if you see my daughter who I post photos of she's so beautiful, and I was a beautiful child. I can see that now I'm like wow, I really felt so ugly and so unattractive and uncool. And I just felt not good enough, I was super introverted and I had massive self-worth shit. But my mum would always also say that I'm like the most intelligent one, which was true I was always top of the class, and that I'm gonna be the one who creates whatever she wants from life and that these girls are gonna lose their looks basically, and then we'll see what happens. She's [inaudible 00:42:51] for sure. And then I'm gonna be the one that like, creates whatever I want out of life. And it wasn't just trying to contrast me to other girls, I'm probably thinking of one or two conversations that stand out for me when I was feeling bad about not feeling cool enough. Hey, Johnna! So you know, that was just maybe a few conversations but overall I was always told you're incredibly intelligent, you can do whatever you want, anything that you decide to do you're going to be successful of. So I had an amazing amount of support I guess, growing up. I know not everyone has that so I'm definitely very grateful for that. Oh my god, you had the best month ever! Send me a message, tell me about it! You have to join Rich Hot Empire! Move in to Rich Hot Empire now! Johnna just did four weeks one of them with me in Empress, which is one of my other one-on-one intensives. It's closed at the moment. And she just said I had the best month ever, and I did it in a week after working with you. Yay! Of course, because we flick that soul switch baby, and step up and become who you're meant to be. I'm so excited for you. So I was kind of confident and badass I guess, a lot of the way I always believed in myself and I just always knew I wouldn't live a normal life. To me that was never a question in my mind, I didn't doubt it at all. At the same time I had massive self-confidence issues and I was continually scared of failure and for years I didn't put myself out there either, to answer that question. I knew that I was meant to do something like this, but like a lot of people I felt like, "But how? Where do you start?" And also for me, this was back in 2002, 2003 where I first really started to be like, I should do seminars and I should be an author, but there was no online industry like there is now. So there was nobody to model, there was no fricking business coaching Facebook groups to join. You couldn't even find a business coach on the internet back then. So I kind of put it off for years I guess, and eventually I got that ball rolling. I think like a lot of people I've had contrast between periods of my life where I've felt like a total badass and periods where I'm like, not taking action at all. And I think that continues to be true for me and for all people in all areas. I know in the area of love and romance, I've had a lot of fear stuff going on probably for years now. Like I was in two unhappy marriages back to back and then I left my marriage, coming up on two years ago in the middle of this year it'll be two years that I've now left that marriage. And then even when I was in the marriage, I had massive self-worth and fear stuff feeling like it was impossible to have amazing, epic, [inaudible 00:45:22] love. I was quite bitter about it actually, I didn't believe in it and I'd just completely given up hope on it. I was so bitter about it, to be honest, that I would just judge other people's relationships and I didn't believe that anybody was genuinely happy in their relationships and I just kind of looked for proof of that. And of course I found it. So I'd kind of given up, I guess, although not really because through it all I still had the belief that no, I think you can have it all. I believe you can have it all and I know that I'll [inaudible 00:45:51] find a way. Then, even once I left my marriage, it's just been a journey since then of I guess learning to be brave enough to believe what's inside of me. And repeatedly putting myself into uncomfortable conversations or situations and following soul flow, or following what feels aligned and right. That's been the most terrifying fucking experience of my life to be quite honest with you, way harder than business stuff. Maybe I've just forgotten how tough it really did feel in the period in business where I wasn't making money yet and I was repeatedly posting shit on the internet that nobody was liking or commenting on my stuff, right? Back in the day, like a lot of people. Now I'm used to that, people know me, I expect that when I do a livestream that people jump on, people are excited I'm live. Well guess what? I went through all those years as well of nobody watching, nobody listening, nobody pressing like, nobody purchasing, and then when I did put my soul offers out there definitely nobody purchased because I was like known for fitness or then I was known for business strategy I wasn't known for like soul stuff. So things kept falling flat. This is what I mean with purposeful pain, right? I kept going. I stayed the fucking course, I continued to act from faith. And then yeah, in like the last few years in the relationship side of my life it's been kinda similar to that in a different way. To me it feels like that's been more scary or harder because it's more intimate I guess, you're really laying yourself on the line. And you're like, "Fuck! Am I gonna send that message? Am I gonna speak my truth, and like show my heart? Oh my God, not again. No! It's too scary!" And this fear of rejection and you feel like an idiot and you just fucking do it right? This is my whole point, that's purposeful pain. Pain's not always the right word to use, I get that. But I used it because I had the massage earlier and it was kind of in my head. It's acting from purpose, it's acting from faith, it's acting from belief. It would be so much easier to not say what you want to say to that person, to not speak your truth, to not put that flag in the sand and say this is what I believe. And with business, all the time, it would be so much easier to not put yourself out there on the repeat when you're not getting the response you want. Well, honestly, just honestly, if you want these sort of results. If you want to build a seven-figure, multi-seven-figure empire and beyond, doing what you love, being one of the very few people in the world who legitimately gets to follow soul flow every day, like I do and like my clients do and like I will help you to do if you want to work with me in Rich Hot Empire. You've just gotta be willing to be that person. That's the long and short of it. And you know this, you have got to be willing to be that person who puts themselves out there in ways that others won't. Alright. I trust that you got something out of this. Please leave me a comment, or a love, or a share, if you feel so [inaudible 00:48:31]. I do like to come back and read my comments later, I don't read them all while I'm speaking and preaching obviously. But hit me up, I'll read them, and have a read about Rich Hot Empire really. I just encourage you, if you've been thinking that at some point it might be time to work with me one-on-one as your mentor, this is just an absolutely incredible thing that I've allowed out of my. I've given you my heart and soul with what I teach in Rich Hot Empire, really give you all of the kind of how and the behind the scenes and the building blocks of a business so that you have no question unanswered and you have the full support of me and my team as a private client. You get all that content for life, I teach you every possible, imaginable thing about how we make the money and do the sales and all that. And of course, you've got me there by your side. In your pocket? I don't know if I'd fit. Holding your hand and kicking your ass the whole way through. And it works so well because I let what is meant to come out of me out. And that's what I want to show you how to do, and it's just a tremendous honour to be able to do that. It's also super fucking fun. We have the best time ever. So do have a read about that in the comment there. It might be that it's time to really step up and press play, it might be that you've been thinking about working with me at the private client level maybe for some while, or maybe you just came across me. Either way it's fun. I have people jump in sometimes who literally just heard me, and others who've been gearing up towards it for a little while. So have a read, message me, I'll get you the full length overview and all the details and we'll talk about whether this is for you. Either way, do not fucking forget. Life is now, press play.

Do you realise you're ALREADY free

Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2018 40:15

Yo, okay. Let's see where we're going to fix this thing up. Okay, could work. It's deathly quiet in here. Deathly quiet. Okay, here we are. Hello people of the world, peoples of the internet, come hang with me. Come chill with me. This is my car home, today I'm living homeless in my car. I'm super like gafrazzled okay I just did a little Germany thing. I'm super frazzled. I'm going to cleanse it out of my body, and you are going to help me, oh yes indeed you are, but let's share this over. Let's share it over, let's share it over. Hey, Emory, hey Ruby, who else is with me? Wow, 19 people are already here. That's badass. I don't know who you all are though because it's not showing all your names. I'm just chilling here in the car park, I'm gonna go to yoga soon enough. Hey Dawn, hey Cary, my nails are pink to match that little... No, they're not pink at all, I'm not colour blind. They are green, and they're matching this little bit of my tattoo that you can see in there that is green. I'm not looking at you 'cause I'm trying to figure out how to share this. And then my toenails are the exact pink that's in that tattoo. I just find it a supremely organised situation. I didn't even do it on purpose, I'm just on brand as fuck all the time. I've got the restless energy in my body and I need to cleanse it from me, do you know what I mean? I've been in my car for like three and a half hours now. I'm in my car home, I live in my car now. My brother just said to me ... I was just on the phone with my brother, who works in my company with me, and I said "I've been in my car for like three hours." And he was like "You're homeless, you're a homeless person living in your car." And I'm like well it is a Mercedes, so it's not the worst sort of car for a homeless car person, if that's what I am. Alright, alright, alright. I did my sharing thing. Here I am. I'm ready to go. Put that laptop away for now. Now, do you think... Okay, I'm going to try and set up this tripod so it's a little bit straighter. Let's see if I can figure this out for you. Okay, oh okay sorry I didn't mean to do that. The tripod is on a weird angle. Okay, I think we're done, no? We're still on an angle for sure. Okay, I want to get this tripod on so it's not on an angle, put it up a bit. Alright, so I've been in my car for three hours because I was at the shopping mall earlier today where I often hang out, like a mall rat. I just loved the movie Mall Rat so much that I decided to become a mall rat with a multimillion dollar business.It's the best, I can't lie to be honest with you. Now I hang out at the mall a lot because one of the gyms that I train at is there. I have to have a gym membership at every possible gym on the coast so that I can go wherever I feel like going on the day. Then you know there's a cool coffee shop and there's lots of them... Let's turn this car on, it's too hot. So I hang out in the coffee shop writing my blog and stuff and then I jumped on the phone and then I just stayed on the phone. So, I couldn't drive my car back into the underground car park at my building where I live at because I was on the phone the whole time. Then next thing like three hours have passed and then I was like well, I might as well stay in the car and then just might as well drive up the yoga studio and yoga class is going to be on in 45 minutes now, so now I'm just hanging out here and I get to talk to you and I'm super excited. I'm particularly excited... well I'm particularly excited for two reasons. Hey, hey Daniel, hey Leona, hey Adam, hey Gina, hi Natalie, Hi Tracey. Who else is here say hi? Two reason I'm excited, one of them is selfish and one of them is all about you. The selfish reason is I know I need to livestream before my head explodes because I've been sitting in the car for too long and I'm kind of I've been... My ass has been right here for like three straight hours, but I have been talking the whole time and having insane elevated conversations. So, it's all been positive and powerful, but I'm like that's a lot of fucking sitting. So one reason that I wanted to livestream is to get my energy out, to cleanse it from me. So that when I go into yoga I am zen as fuck and ready to be present in all ways, shapes, and forms. By the way, yesterday I went to the theme park, one of them, because we've got lots here. I went to Movie Water on the gold coast. I did that thing where you go upside down. You know, you sit in a thing that's roughly like a pirate-y sailboat, and then it swings way up and down and then way up and down. And then it goes way upside down, and then you hang upside down. So while I was hanging upside down, I did indeed require myself to open my eyes, not the first time upside down, I admit. I kept my eyes closed. And I held on to the things like that. The second time when I went upside down, I was like now I will open my eyes. And I opened my eyes, and I just thought to myself, "I am zen as fuck right now". I was just like, I am meditating, I am calm, I could see my best friend Callie down there on the ground looking ... I was annoyed at her that she wasn't looking up at me in my zen, calm state whilst hanging up in the air. I was like, "See me? You should see me up here all zen and shit". But she didn't look up. Meanwhile, I just hung there upside down and I was so fucking proud of myself. My heart rate didn't raise at all even as it kept swinging itself around in circles. Mind you, when I went on the Scooby Doo ride, I was kind of terrified 'cause it was in the dark and I didn't know what was happening. Okay, so then the second reason I wanted to livestream, reason number two, numeral [inaudible 00:06:03], whatever it is, [inaudible 00:06:06]. Reason number two is for you, it's not all about me. I mean it is the Katrina Ruth Show, so technically it's all about me, but it's actually not all about me. When it is all about me ... In fact, I'll give you a free tip. All the tips are free. You don't have to pay for any of them right now. You can pay if you want. You can send donations via PayPal info@playlife.com.au. Send donations. So far, I've never received a single PayPal donation in 12 years of online marketing, and I feel that that's actually a little sad if you think about it. Someone should send me a dollar. Send me a dollar and a cookie, chewy chocolate chip cookie, preferably from ... What's that place called, where you get the food? Oh my god, it's on the tip of my tongue. They always have one conveniently near soul cycle. You know, you go and get your vegetables and your meat and stuff there every day. Ashley, what is it? We went there all the time. They had the best chocolate chip chewy cookies. I'm trying to get back on track. Okay, second reason. Nailed it. Second reason. Tender Greens, exactly. Tender Greens for the win. Ashley wins a prize. The prize is working with me. You already have that prize. Byron Bay cookies, maybe, but in Byron Bay, they have the ... I don't like those Byron Bay cookies, no sir-ee. I'm sorry. They have the best gluten free brownies if you actually drive to Byron Bay, which is a novel idea. But most people are eating things with the label Byron Bay on it, like they know I'm going there. So you've got to go there. You've got to get ... You go down on the street, I don't know what street it is. Sorry, I can't really direct you there, but I know in my head how to get there. And they have the best gluten free brownies in the world. And they have chocolate ... White chocolate raspberry and gluten free brownies. They are to die for. So I'll either take some of them plus a one dollar PayPal donation, or some chocolate chip chewy cookies from Tender Greens with a one dollar PayPal donation. Don't worry if you want to send more than a dollar, it's okay. Now if you want to make more than a dollar, and maybe you want to make millions of dollars on your terms always doing what you love only, then maybe you don't want to send me any donations at all and maybe you want to jump into the inner circle. Just an idea, but we'll talk about that another time. Anyway, I'm getting there finally. I wanted to share something with you that I have found myself saying to at least 1300 people today, or maybe it's two or three but it feels like a lot. And that is about the freedom, the freedom, the fucking freedom that comes from knowing you're already there. Christine was definitely gonna mail me cookies. I think I look amazing with my hair on this angle by the way. It looks like a fake ponytail piece and it's not even. Alright, I'm pretty happy with my hair right now. I'm pretty happy with my confidence also, by the way. Yeah, I'll take the Bordeaux too. Send the Bordeaux and the cookies. I should just get to enjoy my hair right now 'cause it's gonna get sweat-filled like a motherfucker in an hour and a half once I go in there. So the freedom. Freedom thing. I have said to at least three people today, if not 1333, "Do you realise that you're already free? Do you realise ...", Okay Leona, what do you need details of, the cookies? It's just [inaudible 00:09:41]. It's definitely on the corner of Second and something in Santa Monica, but there's one everywhere, or possibly you mean the inner circle, or is it the hair? Either way, message me. Big kind gestures. Oh my god, [inaudible 00:09:53], wait til you see the little skit that Matt and I made. Matt filmed for me the other day. He's editing them today. It's gonna be fabulous. So the freedom thing. Okay, so let me ask you a question. It's coming. It'll come when it desires to come, because I thought I was gonna get to it about eight and a half minutes ago but I didn't get there yet. Here's the question. I'm kind of annoyed that I've got no more water right now. Do you think if I just stuck the water bottle out of the ground there it would fill with rain water? You're free already. Lisa says she's free. Let's say, let's imagine that you believe in your own fucking message. Imagine such a thing. Do you think it's even possible that everybody here believes in their message? Probably not. Do you believe in your message? Do you believe in the truth and the power of what is inside your soul? Say "I" or say "Yes", say, "Love heart shower". Press your cat emoji sticker now, anyone that you like. Let's see them. Let's wait and see. I'm gonna wait for that. Yes, Rachel wins first. Send her a cookie. I have no interesting things in here. I really want some lip gloss. I think somebody ... I think that what happened is when I got my car washed that the car wash people took my Chanel gold lip gloss, that is my car lip gloss that sits down here. It's gone. Either that or somebody borrowed my car and stole my Chanel gold lip gloss. I've only loaned my car to men, so ... But maybe they did. Carrie says yes. Alright, let's say you believe in your message, and two of you said yes. I don't know what's going on with the other 56 of you. And I didn't see a single love a hot shower or an emoji either, so I'm a little concerned for the self belief of the livestream people, or maybe it's just that you're too busy eating cookies and the emoji button is not working. Still only two of you, really? Is that what's going on here? What's happening? Where's the love heart shower if you believe in your message? You could just decide to believe right now. So let's say you believe in your message. The next question is do you believe that you will automatically get there? Do you have faith that you will automatically create the vision that is inside of you, yes or no? Here they come. Thank you. Thank you for the love hearts. It's brightening up the blackness of this whole visual situation. Love heart and emojis and press play buttons everywhere, okay good. Absolutely. Let's say that you believe in your message and let's say that you also, additionally to that, you actually believe that it's fucking done. Now today, on three different conversations that I can even remember which specific three people it was, and it might've been more than that though, people were telling me about their vision and their message and what they want to bring to life, right? And I was just sitting there, and it was so powerful. It even felt just extra more powerful. I can't react. Just react. You don't need to be an emotional stone. Just react out loud. Just dance and play in the wind, but maybe I won't be able to see it and that's what you mean. [inaudible 00:12:57] love hearts. I just had you know two new clients on their first one on one calls with me and also one call where I was on with a friend. And in all three of those cases, and I think there was another client as well, where they were sharing their message and their vision, and I was just like holy shit. Do you feel how done it is what you're saying? Because I could feel their certainty and their truth and their fire as they were sharing their message and their vision with me. And you know sometimes people are a little less sure, and they want or desire or get to have that help and support kind of digging deeper and that's always cool as well. But in this particular case, every conversation that I had today, I was just like holy shit. You are so fucking sure of what you're saying to me. You know that this is what you're here to do in the world. And I've got to say that is somewhat rare, I guess, for a new client conversation. Often times, it's a bit more uncertainty there at the start. But like I said, either way's fine. Everyone's got different areas where they're more sure and different areas where they maybe need more support. But like I said, I said, "Do you realise how done this is? What you just said felt so energetically, it's just already done. You know that this is real right? You know this is happening"? And I think one or two people responded where ... Two people responded and were like, "Yes!", and one person was like, "Yes"? Kind of like "Yes?", but yes, right? From there I said, but do you understand what that means? 'Cause when you're already energetically done, like when you say this is what I'm gonna do and this is who I'm here to serve and this is the business and the life I'm gonna create, and you know and believe that it's done, do you understand what that means, Michelle Crawford? Response. And everybody else, but Michelle's is the most recent comment about that. What it means is that there is literally nothing you need to worry about, at all. Nothing. It means that you are already free because if it's energetically done, if it's already done internally, if you feel that and you know it, then it's only a matter of time, which is a very flexible and bendable thing anyhow, it is only a matter of time until the physical world catches up. And is the physical world even real, or is the world inside you real? Actually far and beyond this whole situation here, am I even here, are you here, is this car here, is the yoga studio there? That's definitely gonna feel fucking real when I'm in the hot room, so maybe that's real. But the rest ... But that's an internal reaction anyway, is it even real? Like actually, the real world is the one inside. So if it feels done and you mean it, then you already got the result. Hello, right? Hello. You already got the result. So if you already got the result, and if you feel it, then what would you need to worry about? Now maybe even you want more results, you want more tangible results. You're like, but I want to see the money in my bank account, and whatever else, right? Cool. But still, if it's energetically done and you're like it's so done and you actually mean that, then it means you have nothing to worry about. What does that mean? Leah Steele response. I'll keep talking anyway, but I like to hear your response. I think this is my new thing, that I just call people out and that they should talk suddenly on command on my livestreams. And it's just kind of annoying to me that you're not immediately like promoted to speaker as soon as I state your name. That is the new update that I want on Facebook live. I want it to be that when I shout somebody's name out that a live camera instantly goes onto them wherever they are, whatever they're doing. They're in the fucking bath, they're cooking dinner, too bad. They're just suddenly there on the livestream. That would be amazing. Do you think it would drop my numbers down on my lives if you knew that you were suddenly gonna be a guest appearance with no warning? Okay, what it means, what it means, what it means. What it means is you are already completely free to be in each moment and just live each moment from a place of pure connection and presence. I don't feel like the "ah" is the entire answer. The cat buttons are distracting. Just keep on smashing them. Hit em, hit em, hit em. Alright? People are arriving. Do you know I'm so impressed with myself that I got to the yoga studio an hour early, 'cause this place is getting popular as fuck and you can never get a car park. You have to hike from okay, like 30 minutes away, but it just feels annoying to me to not park right out the front. So now I'm like, this is my new system. I'm gonna turn up an hour early bitches. I'm getting the pole position every day. And then I'm just gonna livestream before the class, and then I'll walk into the class like levitating through the ceiling. Hey, how are you Joanna, if you're already in there, who's teaching the class. If you're ... Okay, back on point. You're free. Okay, so let's say there was nothing you needed to worry about. Let's say you completely trusted and knew that it was done and knew that everything inside of you is gonna come to life, amen. Yes, thank you, goodnight. What that would mean in a practical sense, if there is indeed a practical world at all, which seems to be up for discussion, is it would mean ... I feel that you're evading and avoiding the question with your lawyerly tactics, I'm onto you. It would mean that you can just be like here I am, right here, right now, in this moment being me, just hanging out in the flow zone. Earlier when I was on the phone chatting away for an extended period of time ... And then ... And he's in America. And then he was like, "What time is it for you anyway?" And I was like, "Two pm", and he's like, "Oh shit, this is the middle of your day. Did you want to be talking at this time of day?" Or like "It's the middle of your working day", or something like that. And I was like "Yeah, but" ... well, I already did a bunch of stuff earlier anyhow, but more relevantly, that's got nothing to do with anything. Working day is a very interesting topic, and I feel like my whole life is my working day, or none of it, either way. But the big point that I kind of came to from that that I want to bring in here is I'm always exactly where I need to be and there is literally nothing else I need to do ever. This moment in time, where I'm meant to be is right here with you dancing around in the car. That moment in time, that was exactly where I was meant to be, on the phone. There was nothing else. There's no list. I deleted the fucking list. I did talk about last week. I'm gonna run a course. It's gonna be called "#deletethelist.com". In the course, I will get you to send me a list, and then I'll burn it, or I'll maybe teach you how to do a ceremony, like a cleansing and closing of the list ceremony and a clearing and then a releasing and detoxification of the list, and then we'll have martinis. That'll be the course. It's gonna be 99$. Who wants to join? You can send PayPal donations if you want to join, or just send 99$ and then I'll tell you how to delete your list. It'll be worth a fuck load more than 99$ by the way. It should be 999. It's a bargain, a bargain. Of course, you could do roughly just what I already said and just send me the Bordeaux, it's up to you. Whatever works for you. So you know, there's nothing I ever need to do. It's actually become real. I've said this for a while. It's one of my most powerful, fabulously, life transformative ... It sounds wordy, but it's still true, the best manifestation philosophies of all time is that there is never anything you need to do ... Lisa is signing up for the cause, she's signing up for #deletethelist.com, she's in. Who else is in? We can sell this course right now. I could just launch it right now. I'm really enjoying my side angle. I think I'm gonna do all livestreams on the side. I think it's just the god glow that's coming through from the lights. Okay, enough. I'll stop. I know I'm being slightly annoying, maybe not. Just own it. Maybe you're not annoying at all. So yes, here's the concept. There's never anything you need to do, but there's always action to take. I read this in a book once, and I was like ... My mind was instantly expanded to the heavens, to the heavens. Right? I was like what does that mean? What does it mean there's never anything you need to do but there's always action to take? Well, what it means is when you trust and you know that it's done ... This is kind of a boring prop, isn't it? What else have we got back here? You know when they clean your car and then they just leave the little consoles and compartments not properly cleaned? Right. I've got a better prop. Alright, okay. This is what I'm rolling with. Okay. You know, I always say I'm Batman and I carry the Batman shaker all the time, and I feel like people don't believe that I'm really Batman, but somebody's got to be Batman you understand. I feel like this is way better than the water bottle. I'm going down because the yoga people are gonna see me. My friends from yoga are all ... They're not even my close friends, they're just people I know at yoga and they're gonna be like, this chick seems like a normal chick normally when she's in the yoga class. Now the truth is gonna be uncovered. Right. There's nothing else very interesting back here. There's a badge, police badge. I don't think that's helpful. It's hard to see. See? Now you believe it, of course. Where was I? There's no ... Oh my god, somebody's pulling up next to me. Actually, my windows are quite tinted. It should be okay. There's never anything that you need to do, but there's always action to take. It means when you fully trust and you know that it's done, you get to live your fucking life. I feel like Kiera understands this philosophy definitely. Thank you, Kiera. Definitely Batman, no question. I appreciate it. I actually must say though that I met Batman yesterday at Movie World. He didn't seem to give me any particular code word or acknowledgement, but maybe he was triggered. You can live your life. What if you could just live your life now and be completely free? Imagine to yourself that you were completely done. Oh my god, bat dad is my new hashtag. Imagine to yourself that you were completely done and completely free and that there was nothing else you had to do, nothing you needed to worry about at all, nothing you needed to do. Like you're done. You're actually done. I said to my friend on the phone earlier, I was like, "I'm actually done. I'm already ... Like I'm right here, right now with you. This is where I'm meant to be in this moment in time. I'm already done for today, but I'm actually done for my life", I said. "And therefore, from that place, I'm free to do whatever the fuck I want and be as creative as possible." And guess what else? I trust in myself that I will show up for my life and continue to create amazing things. A lot of people would be very scared to be done. I love Bat dad. He's funny as anything. A lot of people would be very scared to be done because then they would be terrified that all they're gonna do if they didn't have a list of shit they're gonna do, all they're gonna do is sit around on the couch eating fucking cookies from [inaudible 00:24:05]. Not me. I'm not scared of the cookies at all. I'm also not scared of overeating them. I must admit I eat them on a pretty consistent basis when I'm in America. I was like oh my god, somebody's trying to scratch their way through the roof of the car, but it's just my bat ear scratching the roof of the car up there. But I am a consistent person. I'm disciplined as fuck and I'm consistent in all areas. And when I'm in America, I'm consistently eating [inaudible 00:24:31] chocolate chip chewy cookies because they're fucking amazing. And it's also a fabulous way that I test out my own theories and philosophies on life, one of which is that I'm always in amazing shape no matter what I eat. So I deliberately eat cookies, cookies, cookies, whenever I desire them, which is often enough, consistently enough. And then I remain lean, and then I'm like here you go bitches. Told you, if anybody asks, and they do sometimes. Otherwise, I just keep it to myself and eat them in bed. And when Callie shares the bed with me, she's like "Why is there crumbs in the bed"? And that's the entire story. Imagine if you were free, right? Really imagine this. Feel into this. Feel the energy of being free. Imagine you're free to be a moon child and a bat girl and whatever you wanted. There was nothing you needed to do. I didn't do this livestream 'cause I'm like now I want to sell some shit. I was selling something anyway, right? That's whatever. It just happens. It would be so weird to not be selling. But I do what I desire to do ... Lilly Badcock, are we gonna be doing a podcast interview tonight my time? I don't know if you replied yet. Can I do it as bat girl? You know, I just do what I desire to do, what feels fun and flow-based. Cat man, that is even better. Cat man? Can I be cat girl? Okay, now I'm bat girl, cat girl, I don't know. What do you mean which part of America you're in? What if I'm online Rachel? They definitely exist, but maybe 10 degrees is more of a California thing. Imagine you were free. Would that be scary though or would it be exciting? Would you be willing to do that? It's not actually that you get to be free. The question is are you willing to allow yourself to be free? Because you can grant that to yourself right now in this very moment in time. That is the point that I'm trying to make, right? I really need a fucking pointing device. I'm gonna have to go back to the empty water bottle, either that or some sunglasses. It feels like I should have some sort of better props in this car, but it is what it is at this stage. I did the best that I could with what was available to me. I feel that I did okay. Okay, alright. I don't know what's happening in your part of California, but just figure it out. They're the best cookies in the world. So would you be okay with it, right? 'Cause you can give yourself this permission right now. Most of you won't is the sad truth. You're gonna go, "Oh very well for you to say cat girl, bat girl, whoever you are, but I" ... This, this and this. Well guess what? I'm just gonna tell you straight up from the getup. That is your story. I had the same story for many moons, many moons. It was not a fun story to live in, but I continued to hold onto it relentlessly even though it didn't serve me. I was addicted to the story of struggle. And then one day, I was just sick of the whole damn thing and I just decided to trust in myself. I decided to trust that I would do the right if I didn't have rules for myself. I decided to grant myself freedom. And it's a continual thing that I get to decide and step into. 'Cause I decided that shit years ago, but still the rules creep up upon you, and the list creeps up around you, and you put walls upon yourself. I didn't mean other people's rules. I could give two fucks about other people's rules, right? But my own rules for myself, I would be so strictly bound ... For example, in years gone by, even something like my journaling, which obviously I swear by and love and adore, but earlier years, it would've been like I have to or else, or even [inaudible 00:27:55] yoga, which I'm about to go into. In earlier years, Kiera knows about this for sure, was I have to or else, or else I'll gain weight or freak out or have an anxiety attack or be a bad person somehow. Now, I go when I desire to and that is it, period, the end. I never go out of scarcity to yoga, to the gym, to my journal, to anywhere. I follow flow and desire. So that's one example of how I got rid of rules, right? But continually they creep up and continually you just bat them on away like a bat girl, cat girl, whoever you are. And you notice it and you catch it. For me, it's such a big shift to step into this realisation. And I just dropped into it again over this past week or so in a deeper way, and I've had this conversation with several people today like I said, of holy shit. If you actually believe in what you say you believe, and you believe and know that it's done, then it means that you're already free. It means that you're completely free, that you are free to live your life, that you've got your whole life right now, that you've got everything. And if I'm free, then all I've got to do is exactly what I desire to do. Okay Patrick, you missed the best part of the conversation, and there was a very important reason why I had to put the bat girl mask on. So you're gonna have to watch the replay, alright? Now, we're into the serious bit though. The fun is over. The fun is over, but the mask is on now and nobody needs to see what's going on with this mask. It'll be too crazy for anyone. Okay, preaching. Exactly, Lilly, that is right. If you're already free right here and right now in this moment, then all that you've got to worry about is, well, nothing at all. There's no fucking worry. It's literally just what do you desire to do in this moment in time? You scrolled and no mask, came back and mask is on. That's what happens. You just manifested bat girl. Ashley, where are you? Are you still in Hawaii? What is your house in Santa Monica gonna be like? Because we're all coming and we're gonna have a massive party there. It's gonna be a costume party, and then we're gonna do that fucking hip hop music video that I said we were gonna do. That is what's happening. Yes, yes it is. Maybe Patrick will even come to that, and you can be in the video. In Hawaii. I need to go to Hawaii. I'm trying to get back on topic. Imagine you were free, and imagine that you could do exactly what you wanted to do all the time. Do you think you'd do a good job? That is the question, right? That is the only question that I have for you today, apart from every other question that I asked you before. But that's the only real question that's important and serious. Do you think that you would do a good job? Do you think that you would do a good fucking job of living your life or alternatively, do you imagine to yourself ... My ears are getting crunchy up there. Do you imagine to yourself that you need to have rules and structure, that you can't be trusted, that you're not gonna be successful in your life if you don't have rules? If you don't have structure, if you don't have all these boundaries, and like I've got to live my life in a certain way like it's a freaking military organisation instead of getting to flow. Because I fully know and believe and understand that when I come from flow, everything works. Everything works, alright? Everything. Ashley says my house is gonna be amazing 'cause I've decided. Everyone is invited, but you've got to [inaudible 00:31:03]. Ace can be in the video. I feel like he would be super badass gangster as a bat dog in the video. Okay, he can just be himself. He doesn't even have to dress up. He can just be regular old Ace. So wait, what was I up to? I mean I feel like the whole point of the whole damn point is that everybody wants to get to freedom. Everyone wants to get to where they can live their lives, where they can wake up every day, do whatever the fuck they want, connect with whoever they desire, you know just have an amazing cool time. I used to write in my journal over and over and over again. I would write all I want to do is I want to inspire and motivate and educate and empower people to live their lives purposefully and to press play, and I want to hang out with badass cool people online. That is literally what I would write over and over again. I want to inspire, educate, motivate and empower and I want to hang out with cool, badass people online. And offline as well, but I was thinking in terms of my business. And then I would think, but how do I do that? What are all the things that I've got to do? What are all the building blocks and the stepping stones so that I can get to that place? And it just seemed so endless. And for as long as I said that there was this list of shit that had to be done or these blocks that I had to climb, then there was, right? 'Cause I continued to create them in front of me. And it literally took me years to figure this shit out to where I now know and understand it was all just like a hallucination or ... Nothing wrong with that, but it was all just a made up idea in my head. I was just creating this stairway in front of me in my head. It wasn't even a stairway to heaven. It was a stairway to nowhere. It was just one of those revolving fucking stairways that when you think you got to the top it just keeps going. And finally I was like, if I just got off the freaking stairway, and there was nothing in front of me and nothing I had to do, I could actually be here now. And because what I desire to do is to inspire, motivate, educate and empower people and hang out with badass, cool people online, then that is what I'm gonna do. And funnily enough, not funny at all, that's what makes me the fucking money, gives me the flow ... He's called Ace, not ice. A-C-E. Makes me the money, gives me the flow, gets me the body results, calls in my cool as fuck soulmate clients and friends and people in my life right? All of that actually just comes from me being who I am. Who would you be if you were free? That is the question you must ask yourself today. Who would you be if you were already free? If you can answer that, you just got your whole life. You just got the answer to everything, everything. You already know everything. I said this today earlier as well. It's so true. I already know everything. You already know everything. We all already know everything. You know everything. If you realised that you already knew everything, then what the fuck would you be doing? You'd be being you. And guess what? As much as maybe you're scared that you're gonna be somebody who wastes their life and lives a lazy life or you know, a destructive life or non fit feeling life, you know what? It's not who you are. You at your laziest or you at your most non pushing, whatever that is, you're gonna show up because it's who you are. You know, I said to one of my clients today, I was like, "What are you doing when you're most in flow and you're just being fully you and you're having the best time ever in your life"? "Tell me what that activity is for you". And she was like, "Oh, learning and growing". I'm like, of course, right? None of us here got to worry that we're gonna accidentally sit on the couch for the rest of our lives and get fat if we don't have a list and a bunch of rules and a stairway to freaking nowhere that we think we've got to climb endlessly in order to get results. What are you actually scared of here? Who are you? You know who you are is your core. I'm batman, you can't be batman. I'm just letting you know, okay? So who are you? That's my question. Who are you at your core? If you had no rules, if you had no boundaries, then who would you be? You know who I would be? Whoever the fuck I want to be each day, whatever comes out, whichever angle of the Katrina fucking Ruth show is turning up, that's who I'd be. What would I talk about? Who the hell knows. Whatever pops out of my tiny little head. Okay, it's not that tiny really at all. My normal sized head. Whatever pops out. What would I sell? Whatever I fucking feel like. #deletethelist.com Alright? And actually, roughly that is what I do. I be whoever I am each day, I say whatever I want to say each day, I sell whatever's coming out of me. It's my entire structure, and from that chaos an empire has indeed been created exactly as I blogged about today. Make sure you read my blog if you didn't read it already. And then in between, I do the other things I feel like doing, like I talk to cool people, I go to yoga class, whatever it is that I do. It's all just flow, it's all just trust. I'm not worrying how many fucking workouts I've got to do each week to get a result, I'm not worrying how many freaking livestreams I've got to do or what sales presses I've got to have in place to sign up new clients. I just deleted all the worries. I just deleted them. Sometimes they're like little teeny, invisible ninjas and they keep trying to come back, and then you've got to delete them again. That's fine. I've got no problem. I'll keep on swinging. I think that's all. I think I might be done. What's happening here? There's a whole dog stream going on here. So to bring it back around, well I already said many times I'm Batman. I've been carrying the shaker around for ages. I feel like people didn't believe it. I feel like you guys just thought I was trying to be Batman like a want-trepreneur Batman. A ... I can't think of a good way to word it, want to be Batman? I don't know. I could think of a better way if I had more time. What else was I gonna say? Yeah, so then I had to show you that I really am Batman. Okay, okay. Do you know what I'm on the lookout for? Badass as fuck ... I was gonna say bat girls, but I feel like I could possibly bear to let this conversation go. I am on the lookout for women and men who are exactly like me, the 1% within the 1% revolutionary, badass as fuck, creatives, hustlers, leaders ... Okay I'm nearly ... I don't know what's happening here. I'm nearly presenting this livestream on some kind of sideways oblique angle. I think I'm still trying to hide in case yoga people see me. 1% within the 1%, revolutionary creatives, hustlers, leaders, entertainers. You got to be an entertainer, otherwise I don't even know what you think you're doing hanging out here because when you're in the inner circle, which is what I'm trying to talk about ... Like the hip hop thing I mentioned earlier, this is like initiation shit that's just required. Okay, I can't tell you all the details 'cause that's the whole point of it being a secret initiation is that it's a secret, but you get the idea. Shenanigans are not optional, they're required. And you may or may not ... Yes, no I won't even say what I was gonna say 'cause it ... Well, it's okay to scare people ... Because it's more fun to be secretive. I'm here to call in the most amazing creatives and entrepreneurs and leaders in the world. I've created the most badass and hottest mastermind on the freaking internet for insanely crazy as fuck entrepreneurs and creatives. We have the most incredible time ever. We have our next retreat coming up in July in LA. It's inner circle only. But meanwhile, we're hanging out every single day in the inner circle group with our weekly mastermind hot seat calls and you and me on one one. That's what the inner circle is about. What I'm doing at the moment is opening up and inviting applications and message inquiries for the inner circle. If you feel like you would want to work with me at the absolute highest level and indeed step into your true inner bat girl, or whatever it is that's inside of you, or whatever it is that comes through each day, message me about that. Because what goes on in that group, I've actually been pretty secretive about and not in a bat girl secretive way, just in a weirdly reverse ego kind of way where I don't really talk about client results much. You may have noticed that over the last week or so I've started to post client results pretty consistently. That is a new thing that you're gonna start to see more and more. Every day I'm receiving messages from clients with massive life changes, not just in business and in money, but in all areas of life. And I've been somewhat rudely and selfishly keeping that stuff to myself and to the group of clients who are in the inner circle. And I'm gonna now start launching it all over the internet, proudly waving that flag. And I'm gonna invite the right people to come and join us. If you think that might be you, well I didn't really give you much detail about it, but I can give you more detail, message me on my personal page and I'll send you an overview of who we are and what we do. And then we'll figure out what next. I think that might be all. I think it might be time to go into class. The doors are open. People without masks on are in there. Hello, world. Okay, that's it. Over and out. Over and out from the cat-mobile. I've had a fun time. Thank you for helping me come back down to Earth and then levitate the fuck up again. Go set yourself into absolute press play fucking alignment, purpose, and whatever else it is that you desire. You can give that to you now. You can give that to yourself now. Life is now. Press fucking play. Bye.

56: Steve, What Gives...

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2018 22:00

Hey, what's up guys? Hey, I am having a great day. You know what's funny? I love Mondays. I love them so much. Monday is my favorite day of the week, and Monday morning specifically. I go popping out of bed and I'm like "Yeah, we get to do this again! What?" I get pumped about it. I'm excited about it. Well, hey, I kind of have to hurry here a little bit. We, in about an hour here, we're actually going to find out the gender of our new little kid and I'm excited. It's going to be a lot of fun. Few things have taught me as much as being a father, so this'll be a good experience. Hey, I wanted to drop in a question here. I love hearing you guys' questions. I do get them and I kind of vet through them to see which ones are most applicable for everybody. I got a question here from John Bender and great question. If you guys don't know what I'm talking about it you go to secretmlmhacksradio.com and you have to opt in, but on the next page what it does is it, there's a green button down on the bottom right and if you click that button what it'll do is you actually can record a question to me. Typically, they're about 30 second questions, and just start with "Hey, Steve" and if it's a question that's applicable for everybody, you can go ahead and drop it in there. I put them inside the actual episodes themselves and I think you guys have heard me do that before. I have another one here and I thought I'd play it right now. Speaker 2: Hey, Steve, this is John Bender checking in here, getting ready to head into the gym, but had a question for you. You know I've been doing networking for 23 years and been pretty successful. We've done about $350 million in sales with our different systems. I've studied all these gurus for years, focusing in the digital space. Why is it that you seem to be like one of the few good guys on there? You don't curse, you're not off color. You don't do sexist jokes. You're just a good guy. You're funny, you're bright, you're intelligent. You're extremely informative. I know you're incredibly giving. What gives, man? I don't get it. Why do all these other people, from some of my greatest icons out there to the modern marketers of the day, they're so crude and rude and yet you're such an incredibly great mentor, not just for what you know but who you are and apparently whose you are. So, I want to thank you for that and doing this for so many years it's great to see the great work you're doing. Keep it up. Hope to be a part of your team. Steve Larson: Hey, how's it going, John? Hey, first off, thank you so much for that question and extremely nice complements. I was not expecting that. Hey, I actually, the reason why I actually wanted to put this in the episode for everybody though, is there's a specific reason why I do what I do and how I do it. I've had the opportunity, the chance, in my career to work with some very big names. Okay. John Bender, yourself, you're the man. Obviously, for everyone else who's listening, I do know who John is. I actually was shocked and surprised when I saw him drop this question in. Just very, very nice of you, but certainly consider him to be one of my mentors as well. We have, I've had the chance of working with some very big names, very big people. When I was working at ClickFunnels, I'm saying. I'm solo now, as you guys all know, I've been solo for, I'm staring my fourth week solo and it's been awesome, and it's because of MLM that I'm able to do that, which is a lot of fun and great. But we did a ton of projects with some huge names, guys. I mean I built for Marcus Lemonis on the TV show The Prophet, on CNBC, did five funnels for him. We did some awesome projects with Tony Robbins for his book funnel, Money Mass Of The Game. We did some projects for Robert Kiyosaki. The Tony Robbins one that was right before I got there, but that was the kind of stuff that we would do all the time. It was fun, guys. I mean it was super fun. What was interesting was to watch the mentality of these massive giants. What was interesting is, there seems to be this disconnect. You're thinking, "Steve, what does that have to do with MLM?" It has everything to do with MLM. Okay. Just follow me on this a little bit. What I noticed is rubbing shoulders with some of these massive guys. I'm talking A, tier one people. Everyone knows them. Everyone knows who they are. They're sought after. They have massive distribution. You know what I mean? The power of what they say sways markets and people's opinions like crazy. They're huge people. And they know that. I learned that like 90% of the time these guys are like some of the most amazing authentic caring loving people. They're genuinely good people, just good people. Okay. What was fascinating though, and I'm going to be very careful as I say this, and this is for the lesson and it might not be nice to some people when they hear it, but there are some people that, they're not on that tier one level, and they know it. But they think that to be a professional they must go around toting around their successes in front of the faces of all these other people, and kind of be mean about it. As soon as they, there's a ... Guys there's a ... I'm very religious, okay so I'm just going to say that. There's a verse that says that the moment someone gets any amount of power or authority, they tend to abuse it. That's basically what the lesson is. Any amount of power, or any amount of authority, then tend to abuse it and basically drink their own Kool-Aid, okay. That's not what that says, but that's basically it. It was a huge topic that I had with Russell many times. Many times one-on-one with him, and he would say "Steven, if you want recognition don't seek it." Then he would also say things like "Don't drink your own Kool-Aid." It's not that I was, okay, it's just that we would watch these other people, and we would have conversations and stuff like that about, and we're like man ... and it's not to say like "ah I'm better than you, 'cause I'm not drinking my Kool-Aid." You know it's not a status thing, it's nothing like that, but I truly believe that, guys, everyone of us whose listening to this podcast right now we all have the ... It is innate and it is inside of us to be great. To be great. It's inside of every individual. It's not reserved for just a few people. Every person can be great. What does great mean? First of all, you compare yourself to you, no one else. Okay. One of the easiest ways to get down in your life is to start comparing yourself to other people or to an ideal. If you look around and you start saying to yourself, like "oh man, like for me," ... You guys know a lot of my story. When we had literally no money, like literally no money, and it was extremely stressful. It was terrible. It was an awful experience to go through that whole thing. But, when we had no money, if I compare myself to where I am, compared to where we were. Oh man! That's awesome. Like that's so cool. I have nothing to be ashamed about. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. Like look what I was able to get done. I'm comparing me to me. That is the easiest place for you to have success and fulfillment emotionally in this game of MLM. The easiest way for you to get down and have destructive energy all over you, is to compare yourself number one to a person or number two to an ideal. The problem with comparing yourself to an ideal, like pop culture. The problem is they change all the time. It's an ideal. It's undefinable. You don't know when you reached it. There's no actual, you don't know when you hit the spot, because it moved the moment you started going towards it. That's the problem with ideals, so don't compare yourself or put your self-worth or value by comparing yourself to ideals. Again, pop culture does that all the time. I'm not throwing mud, I'm not throwing rocks, I'm not saying like ... I'm not downplaying Hollywood. I'm not downplaying movies. Nothing like that. I'm saying when you pit your self-worth against things that are ideals or another person, you will never really feel successful or happy or satisfied with what you're doing. Ever. You can't. But when you compare yourself to something that's solid, something that there's concrete evidence of, something that, and you compare yourself to where you've gone. You measure that progress, that my friend is how you actually get the feeling and emotion of "Oh man, I actually, I can do this" or "Look what I've done, like this is so cool." Not in a boasting way, you're not being proud, but it's okay and it's important to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment over what you've been getting done. So, John, you said what gives? I compare myself to me. I looked at myself in the mirror about three years ago, and I remember this, and I looked myself in the mirror and I said "I am Steve freakin' Larson, and I'm going to be the best funnel builder in the world." That's what I did. I looked myself in the mirror and I got serious about it. I started making sacrifices in order to get there. I did not go hang out with friends. I did not go, and I studied my face off. Literally, just one right after the other, every single day. For years. Only slept anywhere from three to five hours a night, typically. Sometimes I'd indulge and go to six. I did that for years. To study and to learn and to practice and to build side businesses and side agencies and build sales funnels for other people and other companies and for myself. Finally got good enough that people started knowing who I was. Then finally got good enough that Russell Brunson found out who I was and got hired to ClickFunnels as the lead funnel builder. Then I really started accelerating. I don't remember who said it but it's the quote that basically says like hey when you're standing up in the clouds realize you're standing on the shoulders of giants. You know what I mean? I totally botched that quote, but basically I don't get anywhere on my own. I'm very cognizant of that. I do believe that God has been very much involved with it and will continue to be and I've very thankful for that. There's nothing that I can do or say, really, that is of my own. You know what I mean? It's the nature of ideas that ... Guys, in a business you're starting to have ideas. Especially in this podcast, I'm sure I've given you ideas. Guess what? I got the ideas, though, from other people and other things and they got taken. This piece got taken from that base. This piece got taken from this origin. This piece, and then when I combined them here, look how cool they got?! Then I'm sharing them and you're taking them and you're saying "Here's where I am Steve" and "I'm tossing my things on them." So there's nothing in my mind that is really of our own, both physically or idea based. Everything has come from something else and in my mind I do believe that's God. It's ludicrous for me to think that it came from my own hand. Look what I crafted 100%. Now, I have agency. I can move forward. I can take action. I can do everything I can to work super hard and get things done and nothing's going to get done, nothing's going to work unless I do, but it's still ultimately at the end it's not really my own thing. That's my belief. I don't really talk ... I'm learning I'm talking about God publicly on my podcast more. It's something I'm getting more comfortable with. I've never really done that on this episode I don't think, or on this show, but anyway. That's why. That's why. I was speaking at two different events this past week. I think I told you guys about that, but it's two different events back to back. I started getting a lot of praise, and that's fine. There's nothing wrong with understanding that you're good, and I know I'm good. I'm unapologetic about the fact that I know I'm good. But I also know where that all came from. Okay? I'm pointing up like you can see me. That's part of it. Part of my background with this, guys, is that, a lot of you know, it's two things. I just wanted to drop two stories on you here real quick. There's two things here that are really, really important for me to always remember in my background. Number one, I was probably the most shy kid that you could ever find. When I was in high school, I got voted the nicest kid in high school. There were 600 people in my graduating class. 600. I got voted the nicest kid. I literally got the nicest kid award. It shocked me. I was a little rage machine on the inside. I was like "nicest kid award?" It was like pent up internal energy. I was like, it surprised me like crazy. Nicest kid award. What on earth? It wasn't, internally it was not because I was nicest. It was because I was shy. But I was full of rage and I was like this little tiny terror, which is so true. I had to overcome a lot of stuff and it wasn't, you know, I was the one that created activation energy to show God that I was actually able to go do these things. But, ultimately the change did not come because of me. That's where my mentality is with that. The second thing is that when I look back and I start thinking about ... Guys I was an idiot in school. I just was. I was not good at school stuff. I was not book smart. I was what you would call street smart. I barely graduated high school. I actually did so bad my first semester of college, that I got kicked out. Which is true. I had to reapply after learning how to learn. Then I went back and that's when I started getting straight A's. Almost complete straight A's. I ended school with a 3.85 GPA, which was awesome. I mean it was awesome. Really, really cool. But I think I got a .17 GPA in my first semester. No joke. Which is awful, super bad. So for me there's just been such a stark contrast in life from where I was as a kid and as a teenager and even into my early 20's, compared to where I am now. The internal transformation has gone through the roof. It's frankly one of the reasons I'm so passionate about business. I have had more personal development through the pursuit of entrepreneurship, than any personal development course could every give me. Just like Robert Kiyosaki says, and I know I've brought that up before on this podcast before too, is like look the moment you start an entrepreneurial journey, you'll move forward. You'll get excited. But character flaws are going to explode in your face. They're going to make you ... There's going to be egg on your face all the time. The character flaws are going to explode, and you're going to go "Aw man! I wish I could have done that or this or I should have talked to that client" but man, I had personal habits and addictions that made me stay up late. You know what I mean? Whatever it is. I couldn't get up on time. I'm not eating right. Whatever those things are for you, they're personal character flaws that we all know about ourselves that are actually the thing that are holding us back a lot of times in business. It's not so much always that "Hey, I don't know what to do next." I don't know what to do in my business next. You know what? 90% of the time I've found out that people know exactly what they should be doing next in their business, but what holds them back is a character flaw. A fear. They're scared of speaking. They're scared of ... whatever it is. It has more to do with that. It's been my opinion, and it's been my very amazing transformational experience, to know and notice that if I take those things and I say this is what I want to work on. You actually can overcome those things and you can move forward in a very powerful way. That is what, in my mind, makes you successful. I don't publish stuff to look perfect. A lot of people do that. I don't wear a certain tie on my podcast cover for a reason. I take the starch out of my shirts. I'm trying to be just a real dude and show you, hey look I have fears. I have passions, desires. I have hobbies. You know what I mean? I'm just trying to be a real guy. I'm not trying to go around ... And what's funny is I've noticed that when I publish and I speak and I go out and I'm more that, I get more followers than if I try to put a suit and tie on and posture myself. If you're going through for somebody who wants to see the shirt and tie, great. That's fine. I'm not saying I'm against that at all. What I am saying though is there's this thing to being authentic and real that a ton of people that I think are afraid to show. I think that they look around and they think oh my gosh to be professional means I must look ... I hate the phrase dress for success, or wear ... you can see it's a lot about clothes, stuff like that. I don't know if that's a ... Maybe that's a complex I have. I don't know. It's just I've been around so many massively wildly successful people, especially in the last little bit in my career, to notice and see that the ones that are really satisfied where they are. The ones that are not drinking their own Kool-Aid. They're not afraid of being real. They're not afraid of ... if there's somebody's whose clearly not on the level they are, the ones that are really awesome are the ones that won't care about that and they'll just still tell them the same answer. They'll tell the same answer to somebody who paid $100,000 for the answer as somebody who they can tell is just starting out and just needs to know what the answer is. You know what I mean? They're able to, everything isn't black and white to them. They're real authentic individuals. They have no problem being open and honest. Anyway. So I saw that and I've been really trying to just be ... I mean it's the reason guys, I'll tell you, I was running up the stairs chasing my little girls. We were running around, playing hide and seek. I tripped up the stairs. I freaking broke my toe. Like come on. Most people, anyway, like ... Just whatever's going on in your life, and a lot of you guys know, especially those of you guys who actually came and saw Secret MLM Hacks, which I hope that you guys all do. The actual program itself. I hope you join the program, 'cause what I do, module number one actually talks about how to become an individual that others want to follow in the first place, since in MLM they join you not the MLM. How do you actually do that? That's literally what module one is about. It goes through and it talks, it shows like this is how you be someone that other people want to follow. This is how you ... and you will speak to certain people and they will not like you. That's fine. You will speak to other people and this other following over here, they'll like you. But if you're speaking so generically that you have this group over here that love you and that no one has any opinion about you. No one's going to follow you. They need to have an opinion about you. Which means you need to get opinionated. I have no problem sharing my opinions. But also understanding that I shouldn't be full of myself either. Anyway I feel like I've said the same things a billion times over and over and over again, but there's something to trying to be ... I don't know, just authentic about where you are that people can sense it. It's a big enough deal. I feel like its something that people should all practice and try. Anyway, this was a 20 minute episode. I was not planning on doing that. As far as what gives, it's that I'm just trying to be just a real guy and be a loud version of myself. There's always someone who's going to be better, faster, stronger, better looking, there's always the er, right, than me. Er, er, er, er. Whatever it is, better, faster, stronger, you know what I mean? There's always someone who's going to be, so that's not what I compete on. What I compete on are my differences not my strengths. Okay. In business, like the actual product, I compete on my strengths, but for my personal character, as far as my attractive character, the way I publish, I compete on differences. I don't compete on strengths. That's one of the major reasons why I stand out. You think through that with your MLM. Think through where you are. What are your differences and how can you compete on differences rather than strengths, for your own character. But then for your product, compete on strengths. Rather than focusing on weaknesses, it's kind of two different ... Anyway, I realized that a while ago and it's been cool to be able to do that. I really feel like that's where I started turning up more frequently in places, 'cause people wanting to follow me. We just screamed past 12,000 downloads, and I got a cool surprise for you guys coming up here in the future. But anyway, you guys are all awesome. Appreciate it. Thanks so much for the question, John. Have mad respect for you. I will talk to you guys all later. Hey, thanks for listening. Please remember to subscribe and leave feedback for me. Do you have a question you want answered live on the show? Go to secretMLMhacksradio.com to submit your question and download your free MLM Masters pack.

45: Growing Pains & Pleasures...

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2017 22:16

Hey, hope everyone's doing well out there. Though I want to be publishing a lot more on here in the future. And partly, hope everything's going well for you. It's Christmas here. Or two days after, now. Just wanted to reach out to you guys again and I hope you're doing great. It's been snowing a lot here. It always reminds me of making snow forts. I skied like crazy growing up. My dad was on track to, he was gonna be an Olympic downhill skier. He is very fast on moguls. He was extremely fast at moguls. He still won't tell me the highest cliff he jumped off of. But, anyway so ... I come from a long line of adrenaline junkies. And people who push boundaries. Anyway, the snow here in Boise, Idaho always reminds me of skiing. I grew up in Denver, though. And the mountains here are not quite as big in Boise as they are in Denver. I kinda miss it, to be honest. I wish there were bigger kind of better mountains. The mountains here are tiny in Idaho on this side of Idaho, anyway. Anyway, hey. I hope you are doing great though. I love the game of business. I love what it does to people and how it makes them stretch and grow and become something else and brand new. So for me, I love vacation, obviously as much as the next person, but man, after three days of time off, I am itching to get back to work. So I got up super early on the 26th and I just started working. I think I worked for 12 straight hours. Is it an issue? Probably. But there are worse things, so I guess. I wanted to real quick just acknowledge a quick story. A lot of you guys know that I'm in the Army. I'm literally about to get out. I was an officer in the Army for a while and really enjoyed that. Before I was an officer, I was enlisted. Actually went through basic training. Really enjoyed it, loved the chaos in a weird way. It was actually when we were sitting down and doing nothing that was actually harder for me than when it was crazy. Which I don't know if my head's just kind of messed up like that or I don't know. It comes from the adrenaline junkie side of the family. But, there was this mentality. You got to understand that when I went into the Army, I was like significantly older than a lot of the other people. We did it for a lot of reasons. Number one: I just wanted to. I wanted to know what that was like. I wanted to learn how to push myself and things like that. I already knew how, but you know. I think it goes back to the adrenaline junkie side of the family a little bit. Like I really wanted to go to crazy zone a little bit. And it was fun. And I enjoyed that. But there were ... multiple times. I was a bit older. And I was married, which immediately set me apart from a lot of people. I had a kid, which really set me apart from a lot of the other people. I was about to graduate college, which really, really set me apart. I'm not saying above. I'm not saying I was better than. Nothing like that at all. I'm not trying to say that. But what I am saying is that I was just in a very different place in life than a lot of the other people that were there. I didn't realize that I'd been with a bunch of 17-year-olds and I was 25, married, had a kid, almost through college. There was some life lessons that I had had that a few of the people had not had there. And vice versa. I'm not saying I was any better or anything like that. But I learned a really big lesson while I was in there. Especially when I was in basic training. I'm struggling to find words to say this. I should have probably thought that part through of this a little bit more. I definitely know where I'm going with this, guys, I'm just trying to figure out what ... how to say this. Don't be afraid of progression because of feeling a little bit of discomfort. You know what I mean? There was an attitude of ... there was a few guys I would talk to and I'd be like, "Hey, look. This is my goals in life. What do you want to do?" And you get really close with your fellow soldier buddies. We call them brothers and sisters. I mean, literally. It's ... I have struggled to find a connection with people the way that I've found it in the military. It's because shooting live rounds around each other, you know what I mean? Like ... the amount of trust is insane. But there was ... I was talking to a ... this happened many times. I'm having a hard time finding a specific example in my head of it. Possibly I should have thought through that part a little bit more. But like I ... please understand the lesson here that I'm trying to say. There was many times I would go talk and I would say, "Hey. Look, what do you want to do in life, what do you want to do in life?" And again, I was on a different area of life than most of the people there. I was literally like eight years older than a lot of people there. Married, kid, almost through college. Right? So I had certainly addressed the topic in my own head of what do I want to do with my life. Whereas a lot of other people, other of kids, honestly, that were in there with me ... had not. Anytime I would say, "Hey, I want to go do this, this or this." A lot of times, the answer was, "Oh. Yeah. But then you gotta do x, y and z. That's kind of hard." Like, "So what?" It's the same attitude, same mentality a lot of times that I'll see from people when I'm on stage teaching. Okay? A lot of you guys don't know, I worked for two years at a place called ClickFunnels. I still technically do for the next day and then I'm done. Or two days. And then I'm done, which is crazy. I'm actually leaving my job over MLM. Okay, because it's going well and I practice what I preach and I'm not here blowing smoke. Okay? I'm telling you exactly what I do. But there was this mentality of hey, let's not do something ... or let's not pursue something. Let's not go for something in life simply because it's challenging. I hate that. I hate hanging out with people who believe that. I hate ... and I'm using hate for ... on purpose. I hate it. It is some of the most ... it makes me feel like there are walls around me. It is some of the most controlling, constricting attitude I've ever experienced in my life. Or if somebody else is like that, like I ... have a hard time. Maybe it's a personal issue of mine, but I have a hard time spending time around an individual who believes that. That hey, let's not go from something simply because it's going to be challenging. Man, I do crap because it's challenging. I like it. You know what I mean? I do that on purpose. Some of you guys are like, "Steve, what does that have to do with MLM and my own MLM?" Everything. It has everything to do with it. Whatever you're doing right now ... and I'm not trying to poke fingers or peg you and say, "I got you, I know exactly where you are. I've been in your shoes before." Like no. Everyone's different. We all come from different walks of life. But I bet ... if you are brand new to MLM or even if you're experienced, a lot of times, it's the first place that people go when they're still in a job. I came back to MLM to do this after I've been selling things online and things like that. I came back to it. So, if you're working for another person, the thing that I'm trying to put across and the thing that I'm trying to tell you is that ... this business will require your growth in a way that you probably may not be thinking about. Which is fine. MLM and business and entrepreneurship in general requires you to grow. As a person. It requires you, why? Because if you have not mastered simple things like ... hey, let's go ... let's make sure we get up on time. Or hey, I can't shower appropriately. Or ... there's simple things in your life that you've not actually accomplished. How can you expect to accomplish other bigger things? That make sense? It requires your personal growth. And then when you add in the other human element of other people being on your team, other people that you've got to work with, their backgrounds, how you inspire them to be leaders. How you pass down the gauntlet to them as they keep recruiting, as they keep selling? How on earth can you do that if you've not addressed personal things inside your life yet? What I'm trying to do is I'm trying to help you realize your own situation in a very clear, candid way. Very clear. If there is something in your life that you do not like, you have the ability to change it. And I invite you to do so and I honestly invite you to realize that it probably is affecting your MLM business in ways that you probably aren't thinking about. I'm going through those lessons too, all the time. I'm going through them a lot. A lot. In your MLM, as you are sitting there and you're thinking through, you have this one problem in your head. I don't know what it is. It's specific to you. It's specific to your own thing. There is an issue. There's an obstacle or something inside your head that you're trying to get around. What I'm trying to tell you is I'm trying to help you realize that that obstacle is the way. Okay? I'm trying to help you realize that the obstacle is the way. I'm trying to help you realize that you should not get numb to where you are. It breaks my heart when someone who has failed a few times before, they start to drop down their expectations for their own selves. Then they get a little bit numb. Then they start justifying. Then they start saying things like, "Oh, I won't do this because it's challenging." Does that make sense? Guys, embrace. Okay, this is definitely from the Army. There's a time it was raining ice and sleet. It was an ice storm and it covered everything in like a quarter to half inch of ice. It was down on power lines. It was ... terrible. This was the middle of basic training and I certainly know there are other more intense trainings that basic training, but it was still intense in some scenarios. It was cold, it was freezing. They took advantage of the fact that it was snowing ice and raining ice and sleet. So we would stand in shorts and t-shirt out in the middle of it for ... I mean, hours. Just to toughen us up, which was great. Which is why I went there. It was fun. In a weird way, it was fun. I really enjoy that. There was a phrase that we'd all kind of just tell each other. It'd be like, "Hey, look. Embrace the suck." In the middle of it is where the growth comes. Embrace the suck. Later on, after that, they closed the cafeterias that were near to where our platoon was. So, we ... they would drive food into us. But they couldn't get as much in as they normally would to the rest of the soldiers that were out there. So we got a significantly smaller amount of calories than everybody else who was in basic training for about five weeks. That was ... guys, I was not overweight when I went in there. I could lose a little bit now. But I lost 15 pounds in that last little bit because we were hardly eating. And I'm not a small guy. I'm a tall guy. One of the things everyone says to me usually is, "Hey man, you're way taller than I thought you would be." When they meet me in person. It's like a repeated thing people say to me. I eat a little bit more than the other person who's all tiny and small because of that, obviously. But, embrace the suck. Does that make sense? Whatever is rough right now in your MLM, you know what the obstacle is. What's the thing that you should be doing? What's the thing that causes you the most discomfort in your business right now? Is it recruiting? Is it selling the product? Is it talking to people? Is it just getting out your freaking door and just saying hi? I'm actually not that good of a person one-on-one. I'm not. I'm a little bit more shy than people probably think I am. That's a hard thing for me. I have a hard time ... there's a reason I use automation and internet funnels to sell my stuff all through itself. It's because I don't want to go talk to people. I don't want to go walk around the streets. I don't want to go to the mall. I don't want to go and clobber people in hotels, lobbies. You know what I mean? I don't like that personally. I'm not good one-on-one like that, usually. I'm fun on stage. I'm fine doing one to the masses. But oh my gosh, one-on-one, I have a hard time with that a little bit. I don't know why. It gives me a little bit of anxiety. That's a personal flaw of mine. But I've had to learn to embrace the suck. Get through it, grow from it and build whatever I can from that. Does that make sense? All I'm trying to say is, the big lesson with what I'm trying to say here. I'm sorry ... I know I've been fumbling around just a little bit more than a normal podcast with you guys but I'm trying to tell you to take a serious stock of where you are. And please, for the love, don't get numb to your current situation. Guys, the job that I am leaving is one of the most cushy, awesome, amazing jobs that thousands of people will and are fighting for. Right hand guy to Russell Brunson at ClickFunnels. Right hand funnel builder. In his office daily for two years. My desk is next to his. When we were in our older office, I was literally one arm's length away from the guy. Now I think I'm three or four. In the same room, though. Do you understand what kind of marketing knowledge and status quo gets created in the very room that my very desk was in? Paid very well. Percentage of product sales a lot of times. Guys, and I'm leaving it. Why? Oh my gosh, you guys. So many people have reached out, telling me how stupid I am. How dumb of a move that is. Why am I doing it? I'm embracing the next phase of my growth. It's what I'm trying to get you to do and it's what I've been struggling to try to get across in this episode is for you to take stock of your current situation. That's what I did. I turn around and started talking to myself. I started realizing that where I was, however cool it was, however amazing it was. Not that I couldn't learn more, but where my peak is, where my goal is. Where I actually want to get was not in that room. That was a very painful thing for me to acknowledge. It actually caused me a little bit of mental ... it was a hard thing for me to realize. I started almost kind of freaking out a little bit because I realized that what I wanted wasn't in the place that I was at, which was so amazing. Think about that. Put yourself in that situation. I don't care if you love your job. Is it where you want to be in five years? In 10 years? In 15 years? In 20 years? Is it? If it's not, for the love I am not telling you to quit your job but my gosh, start getting real about where you are and the scenario you're in. Do not get numb to the situation you're in. Do not fool yourself with how good it is. Do not fool yourself and start pushing away your dreams and throwing water on the fire in your heart because of where you are. Don't let others do that to you. I let other do that to me for a little while. Of course, we've all done it. And of course, it happens in repeated ways. The goal for you is to keep the flame alive inside your own heart. And realize where the heck you're trying to go. Are you doing what you want to do? If the answer is no, it's time to make a dang change. Turn around and start looking around where you are. And MLM very well, if you choose it to be, can be the vehicle to get you out. I am leaving my extremely cushy job over it. I have two kids, a two-year-old girl, a four-year-old girl, and a pregnant wife. I'm about to go do this financial move. Interesting, isn't it? Very fascinating. I wouldn't just jump ship without things already in place, which is ... obviously, I'm not doing that. I've always dreamt of being on my own. I've always dreamt of being my own boss. I've always dreamt of having my own businesses. I've always dreamt of employing other people. So I've been doing all of that well before leaving my job. It's the reason I'm launching the product I am on January 4th, in just like a week and a half. I'm launching it, not again. It's totally new. It's completely different. But I've tested certain aspects of it. I've beta tested it like crazy. There's a seed group, a beta group that's been going with me through it. Or at least been my litmus test for the ideas and things of that behind it. For the last four months. It's already made money. It's made money for other people. It's not willy-nilly stuff. I'm not throwing empty things against the wall that are untested. This is extremely tested. Why the heck would I put the jeopardy of my family, my little kids and my wife, my pregnant wife in jeopardy? What I had to realize though is that I started getting numb to where I was. I started getting numb to the spot I was in and I started saying, "Oh, it's gonna be challenging." When I realized that I was doing that, I frankly kind of flipped out. It scared me and I started seeing my dreams and my aspirations leave. I started becoming someone new, someone that someone else wanted me to become. This is a move and it will be a move for you. It's gonna be a series of moves. It's never technically over. But it's the steps. I'm sorry, it's a step. It's a series of steps, series of moves of you becoming you. A louder, more real, raw version of yourself. One of my favorite quotes on the back of a book that I can't remember but I just remember the quote is that, "You don't learn interesting. You unlearn boring." Excuse me. "You don't learn interesting. You unlearn boring." And that's what I'm trying to help you guys realize. Every one of you guys is already interesting. Every one of you guys already has goals, dreams, aspirations. But the thing is, whatever you're trying to go do, whatever you're trying to go get done, you cannot get numb. And you cannot be complacent towards the side distraction that you may have to go through right now called a job, before you get to where you want to go. And it will happen. Life will. Literally, every time I've launched anything new, anytime I've started anything. Anytime I've put a product out there, whether it's been aged or it's completely new, I always get an onslaught of distractions that come. They come in the form of other opportunities, good opportunities. But it's a distraction. It comes in the form of friends trying to distract me. It comes in the form of other hobbies I suddenly want to get into. It comes in the form of ... it's a constant series of tests, of tests, of tests. So what you're gonna have to do is learn the conviction and learn the grit and the mental fortitude to only dedicate the limited mental shelf space that we all have. You have a certain amount of mental shelf space. The capacity that you have in your head. We all have a limited amount of it. It is gonna be your task to learn to dedicate your brain to your actual goal and your actual outcome. And screw all the other side things that are gonna be coming your way as soon as you start taking a step towards it. Get rid of any kind of angst. Get rid of any kind of feeling of, "Oh my gosh, it's gonna be painful." Duh. There's gonna be some discomfort. That's where growth happens anyway. The quote that there's no growth in a comfort zone, there's no comfort in a growth zone is far over-said. Oh my gosh, everyone says that. But, it certainly applies to what I'm saying. So learn to embrace the discomfort because that's where the growth is. Learn to embrace the steps. Learn to embrace the ambiguity of not knowing what exactly is gonna be happening. Does that make sense? That's all I'm trying to say with this episode is that if you don't like where you are, then change it. But get real about it. So real that you tell others. So real that you let others know what you like, what you don't like, what you want. And if you don't know what you want, the easiest thing to do is to start checking what you don't want. I'm personally going through that right now. My 20 years from now, I have no idea what I want yet. I have an idea, but I really don't know what it is. And I don't want to put too much thought and focus into it, because I'm focusing on three steps in front of me. I kinda know where the middle peaks are in between. I kinda have an idea. The picture is starting. I know from tons of personal experience that I don't need to see everything in between. I just need to know kinda where I'm going. I got to know ... I have to know exactly what the three steps in front of me are to get there. And that's it. I keep my head down and I start working. I start running towards that thing and I go as fast and as hard as I can because I know there's an onslaught of never-ending negativity that will be coming around me. Expect it, love when it happens because it means you're moving, and stop being numb to your current scenario. That's all this episode is about. Guys, have a good one. Hey, thanks for listening. Please remember to subscribe and leave feedback. Would you like me to teach your own down line five simple MLM recruiting tips for free? If so, go download your free MLM master's pack by subscribing to this podcast at SecretMLMHacksRadio.com.

06 - Michael Daniels on the FAYR app, Gwyneth Paltrow's mentorship, and streamlining co-parenting

Divorce Well

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2017 27:57

The groundbreaking FAYR co-parenting app is taking off due to the dedicated efforts of its founder Michael Daniels and its senior advisor Gwyneth Paltrow to improve the lives of co-parents and children. The challenges of co-parenting can be overwhelming and can lead to significant conflicts. Michael Daniels came up with the idea of creating an app for co-parents to help them effectively manage their time, their finances, and their co-parenting communication. FAYR is a groundbreaking app that simplifies everyday matters for divorced and separated parents. As a separated father of two young children, Michael found himself overwhelmed by the legal, financial and emotional costs of divorce on his family. After 20 years in the homebuilding industry, Michael hung up his hard hat to create a tool that would not just improve his family’s life, but would also help the other 55 million divorced co-parents in the US. Despite his success on the Apple tv show "Planet of the Apps" and partnering with Gwyneth Paltrow, Michael's guiding light remains the same: working everyday to be his best self for his kids. Your host, Christina Vinters, is a nationally designated Chartered Mediator on a mission to inspire and facilitate healthy family transitions. She is an “ex” Divorce Lawyer (Non-Practicing Member of the Bar), Author of Pathways to Amicable Divorce, and the DIY Divorce Manual, and Peacemaking Business Consultant. Guest Links: Website: https://www.fayr.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/befayr/ Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/befayr Twitter:https://twitter.com/befayr Linkedin:https://www.linkedin.com/company/fayr/ Modern Separations Links: Website: https://www.modernseparations.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/modernseparations Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcewell Twitter: https://twitter.com/cvinters LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cvinters/ Christina: Hello and welcome! I'm super excited today to be talking to Michael Daniels. Michael is the founder and CEO of the new Fayr app (spelled F-a-y-r), and it's a groundbreaking app that streamlines key aspect of family management for divorced parents. That includes sharing a parenting temp calendar, tracking shared expenses, recording communication, and more, all in one location. Fayr debuted really in 2017 and drew interests from Apple TV, who invited him to audition for the reality series "Planet of the Apps". Michael was selected for the show and he had huge success, securing a partnership with his now head adviser Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyneth is well-known as an academy-award winning actress of course, but she's also an active entrepreneur, with a highly successful lifestyle brand goop.com. She's a passionate voice for improving the experience of divorce for families and drew a lot of media criticism a few years ago for her announcement that she and her husband were consciously uncoupling. It's so exciting to see Michael and Gwyneth working ways to make life easier for co-parents, which is going to make a healthy and respectful divorce achievable for more and more families. Check out this interview with Michael to find out all the things that Fayr can do and how it can make your life better. Alright, let's hop in. Christina: Welcome Michael thank you so much for being here with me today! Michael: Thank you for having me, Christina. Christina: I'm really excited to talk to you because of the super positive project that you got involved with to help co-parents do a better job. Why don't you tell us a little bit about your background and how you got inspired to create the Fayr app? Michael: Well, I would say my background can't be any further from this subject, I'm a home builder, I mean, I started building homes when I was a teenager, just an able-bodied worker. Later on, I went to work for the largest homebuilder in America and worked for them 6 years before going out on my own to become a custom home builder. And you know, like everybody else a lot of people go through divorces and it was just a very trying period for me. Family is important for me, I come from a military family and my father was an army officer for 30 years or so and you know traveling around a lot, family was always just important - we're always together. And I would say that that had a lot to do with feeling my interest in trying to do what I could for my kids and so, yeah, that being my background, I think it all really fed into my interest to communicate better, be as much a part of my children's lives and in a positive way. Christina: Well, the fact that you're outside of the standard legal divorce industry gives you a whole new perspective, I think what the industry needs. Michael: I think I relay to people really well, I find that the people I feel most comfortable and most effective in communicating with are just the regular people. I kinda leave it up to my team, they kinda do a better job than communicating with the professionals in this industry. Christina: And so how did you get inspired to create the app? What was the thinking behind that? Michael: What was the ah-ha moment? Christina: Yeah. Michael: Well you know, it's a culmination of a lot of things. You go through like these unexpected things can happen at any point. And so you get divorced, and then as the time goes on, the whole process was just tremendously arduous when you think about the two years it takes before from separation to finally getting through things, you fight over custody stuff, you know, whole bunch of money spent, and this is the measurable process and then when it's done and when you finally sign your parenting agreement, you think everything's gonna be okay but it's not. Emotions pop up, and next end, like you know, 6 more years went by and it's still not at rest. And so you never know when you're gonna be caught with this need to go back to court. And are you documented? Most people lose, not because they're bad parents, but because they're insufficiently documented. And I did, it's not fun to reconcile with laws all the time, and I would have to reconcile these laws every night and just miserable way to live thinking about this stuff constantly and so. Then you go to court and then the other person can very well say, "well you made that up". And there's really no way to prove anything, you know. You can't verify some of this stuff. So I thought to myself, "if there was something that could just galvanize, Google docs, Google calendar, your emails, Google spreadsheet, all of these things that I was happy to use constantly, text messages and everything, have it wrapped up and a one app - specifically like a go-to resource just for co-parents to either co-parent together or just document, just to avoid mitigate future problems. Assuming that was it, it was just a culmination of many years of these things and I just one day started looking into this. I mean, if nothing else, it's gonna help my life and probably help a lot of other people too. Christina: Okay. So I think this sounds like a good place for you to tell us a little bit about what the app does.That sounds pretty cool, the calendar and Google docs and so forth. All of that being rolled into one. What does the app do, and I'm wondering you mentioned that you can either use it together for co-parenting or it sounds like you can just also use it on your own? You don't need the cooperation of the other if you're just looking for documentation? Michael: Yeah absolutely. I mean it's basically an all-in-one digital ledger for child custody. So it's just the place you can go to let's say for example, things that parents run into. Let's face it, and I say this sometimes because I don't think people are very conscious of this, is that there's no other area in life that you can be in a simple lawsuit with another human being and you're forced to continue communicating with that person for years to come, you know. So it's a very stressful situation but the importance of communicating constructively with that person is paramount. And so how do you bridge this problem between the necessity for the benefit of the children (in my case 2 children) that you love the most in life, and then you have this horribly frustrating situation where you don't communicate well because you were in a very bitter, emotionally, hard suit with this person. Because that what these things are - they're lawsuits. So anyway, I thought, what the app can do for you is let's take the calendar feature for example. It's color-coded so mom stays in one color, dad stays on another color, you put in your time-sharing agreement. And then if you need to switch a day, you can just let your day request just a fourth of the day to the other parent. The other parent instantly gets a notification saying "oh, Bill wants to forth his day to you". You can either accept or deny. If you accept it, it changes to your color, and it doesn't switch back to his color unless you release it again. But that way, if anything doesn't rise, your building this incontestable audit trail of information as life is happening. And that's just the calendar feature. But, it just streamlines things to where it's sending a new notification, it's letting you know when soccer is, you can set it up front where repeat this for the next six months every Tuesdays and Thursdays. And then every other year switch your Christmases, so everything's put in upfront and then it's just laid out for you. No more arguing, no more disputes over this particular issue. And I just wanted to simplify, take out all the arguing that goes on. And then the next feature, let's talk about expenses for example. I mean, people are very good about keeping a mental inventory of their own contributions for their children. But there's seldom real knowledge what the other person is doing. And no one's very good about keeping receipts, and no one's very good about all of the things that we have to juggle. And when your attorney tells you, "Hey, Friday I need all these stuff", it is terrible to have to start digging all that up and reconstruct that audit trail information. I had to call two different banks. my insurance company, doctor's offices, and dentist offices have reprint stuff and just have to dig it up and I'm sure there's still stuff missing. And if you dump it all at your attorney's office and your paralegal, just put it in a court-ready format, you know. That's costed you per hour. So it just all gets very expensive, I mean, I just spent nearly sixty thousand dollars in total on all these legal fees. And you think about what that could have done for what I have for my children. Anyways, the point is with this app, as things are happening I don't have to keep receipts anymore, buy something and I simply snap a picture of the receipt - it's there, it's recorded. Then I plug it all in, and that's it. She can see it instantly, she can see everything that was purchased. Right now it's four categories and I'm about to expand that. So I called them involuntary expenses, it's either your medical, your dental, your personal or educational. And some of these things are tax-deductible. So the app also know which are tax-deductible, and at the end of the year, you can just say "give me my tax-deductible report", and it'll give you everything you've spent on your kids that you can deduct from your taxes as well. So just organizes everything, you don't have to save any more paper, and that's really beneficial. And again, at a glance now, both parents can see what's happened, and shortly you'll be able to settle up with each other within the app. You can just say, "okay I'm gonna settle up". You click the button and automatically transfers money to the other parent. You can pay child's support alimony, everything's gonna be able to be documented paid right thru the app. Christina: Oh that will be handy. Michael: Yeah it will be great. And you can set it again. I want to make a co-parenting app that just lets you co-parent on autopilot. So yes you may do some work upfront, plugin all the stuff in. But once it's in, from then on out its just small little adjustments, here and there, as life is going on and you still make adjustments. But for the most part, you're just gonna get these "just go through life and things are gonna be nice and easy". So the next feature is my Geo pen points. The reason I have these is 'cause there are a lot of hidden cases where you're supposed to be somewhere but timely dropoffs or pickups, and there are court orders a lot of times, and to prove that you were there on time is an important thing. So with this feature, you can show up, you can simply say "I want to check in" and you log yourself and there it is - a time, date and stamp that you were on the planet in that spot at that time. So there's just no more he-said-she-said when you go to court. It's just you're good. You know you can prove that you were there. That prevents people from using children as chess pieces. And then the last feature that we currently have is our invisible text messaging. So every lawyer tells you, communicate email, 'cause emails are invisible in court, text messages are not. Well, with these, you have the best of both worlds. You have the ease of text messaging with the invisibility of email. It works just like the IOS messaging, super easy. And at any time you can just say "I wanna generate a report", and all of this stuff, every single day you had them the percentages, everything from whatever time, period you want to look at, just be instantly printed out in a PDF or Excel format. And there you go. Shortly though, right out just the two parents that can be on it, they are onboarded on in the system but shortly you'll be able to have third-party users for this login, to actually grow our user base tremendously. But you can have grandparents who are involved, step-parents, aunts, uncles, legal professionals, they'll have an interface too if they need to monitor just make a guardian light them for example. It's just gonna make everything much more simple, much more honest and fair - that's the name of the app, it's "Fair". It stands for Family, Advocacy, Your Responsibility, just to help make things easier that is in a very difficult situation. Christina: Sounds like it's streamlining a lot, saving a lot of time, and kind of peel back and take away some of the emotion out of the communication? I'm wondering if for example if we go back to the Calendar, and your request to switch a day, is that just very black and white like that or you switch it where you make the request, or do you have the ability for example to say, you know I have to work late next week. Michael: Every single one of these functions - I know I'm just doing kind of a brief over if you're here, but if you select to switch, it actually requests you know, give a reason. You have to write a reason in so that it's notified "hey I'm working late" and you can put notes down there. So when this is printed off in the main report, it'll show that on Saturday, at 4:36 PM, you requested a fourth of the day, the notification was sent, it was accepted at this time, so the whole record is there for a judge or anybody to look at and they'll know exactly what happened, and the notes will be attached there too. "Oh I've forth of the day because I have to be here or this happens", so the communication is there, let's face it, six months from now I'm not gonna remember why I'm not gonna remember what happened. So, I've definitely thought all of that, I wanted to make this thing just as useful for people and just take out the anxiety that we go through later on. Christina: It sounds like some of these features might tend to actually encourage, better behaviors, so I'm wondering if, by using this app, maybe court applications are actually reduced or eliminated in some cases, what kind of feedback have you received? Michael: I mean I know from my own personal experience that it definitely mitigates problems that usually escalates to costly, you know court motions, and look you know, that's what we all want. I mean, our family courts... you correct me if I'm wrong I know you're more of a guru on this than I am but they're the most backed up courts in America, I mean that's why in some places it's up to three years, backlogs. So, hey if we can reduce problems and keep some money in some families pockets cause you know, it's they're sad statistics you know. I think most people know this what's sad is that you don't go in any sort of parenting tutorials. I don't know if they do this everywhere, but here in Florida, when you go and get divorce they make you take an online little... watch all these videos and take retention quizzes, and things like this that educate you in parenting, it's like "Man I wish I did this before when I became a parent." And then of course in this process just learning more about the effects of these two home situations on children nationally, it's pretty scary. I mean when you look at some of the statistics out there, and I'm not saying the answer is people should stay together cause I'm a firm believer that a lot of people if they're properly communicating it's a better situation for kids, for two people who don't like each other to not stay together. But the statistics actually show that if your kid is being raised in a broken home, they are twice as likely to drop out of high school, they're four times as likely to go to prison, twice as likely to actually attempt suicide. They're medicated for things like depression and anxiety and insecurities. They suffer from speech defects, asthma, and headaches at a higher rate. And I don't know what, I'm sure there's a lot of things that contribute to those statistics but, I think that kids growing up feeling that their parents are butting heads all the time, that can't help but believe that that causes some emotional duress on them. Christina: Oh absolutely, I think a lot of the studies have shown that it is the conflict that occurs in separation, not so much the separation itself, but that exposure to conflict between parents that's really traumatic for kids. Michael: Totally. Christina: This app, I think has huge potential and you've already had a really exciting launch this summer, tell us a little bit about the Planets of the apps show that you're on. Some of our listeners might not be familiar with that. So what that was all about and what your experience is like there? Michael: That was pretty phenomenal the whole experience honestly, I was.. it was July 4th, 2016 and I was at my cousin's boat. And I'm kicking around this idea of building this app. So I priced it out and you know it was gonna be quite a bit of money, and I'm like "Man do i do that or I'm not... this a lot of things I can do with that kind of money " and he said "You know Mike, it's something that's.." he's like "I've been listening to you for 8 years complain about all the things you go through" you know he's like.. "I think it's a good place to direct your energy and you gotta be passionate about something in life and you're really passionate about this" so I said, Okay I'm gonna go and pull the trigger. So 2 days later I put my deposit down, I started building it. And fortunately I did, cause if I had waited four days, I would've missed the window to be considered for Planet of the Apps. And it was very fortunate, and I didn't know they started with nearly 10,000 applicants and they narrowed us down to about, I guess about 80 of us that made it. And then of the 80, I mean less of a third of that made it to the final round, that I did. So it was really exciting cause I'm not an app builder, I mean I got out there and I was just overwhelmed by all these crazy smart people, I mean they cruise at that intellectual stratosphere that I can't look at from the ground binoculars, it's super smart people out there. And anyway, it's a good experience, so I go out on Planet of the apps, and we're filming this thing and I was lucky enough to have all four of the panelists there, you know Jessica Alba, Gwyneth Paltrow, Will i.am, and Gary Vaynerchuk, all four of them wanted to partner with me, and I think I was one of the only ones who have that. And super exciting, and again my app that time was just a concept, it was a Beta, it had to be in Beta but it was far from being in the app store. Far. So I ended up choosing Gwyneth, and I chose Gwyneth because, one she's the only person who'd gone through a divorce, two you know this is a subject she's very passionate about, and you know the whole conscious of coupling that you've referred to as well. She gets it, and that's an important thing. I think I'd go through life and I think most people listening would probably agree that you just run into people especially when you're back out in the dating world, and you meet people who just don't get it. Unless you've been through it, it's something that kinda connects people. My dad was an army guy, so I kinda equate it to people who had gone to war, and you just talk to another guy and they just get it, you know. So anyway, I partnered with her, we met many times, we corresponded, we still correspond via email. And she's just been very very supportive, that I mean I'm about to launch Android and when android launches at the end of this month, I'll be re-engaging her efforts to get, start tweeting about it again. She's tweeted for me in the past and that's very helpful, I always get a good spike in downloads when she does that. And hey you know, it was a phenomenal experience, I gotta tell you I feel very lucky and I'm very happy that I have somebody like her who isn't just... she's not just bottom line focused like a lot of people are, who are just like "So how much money is this gonna make?" She's more concerned like when we met, it's like "is this gonna help people? Let's just focus on helping people and everything else will take care of itself." And I like that, I really really appreciate that. Christina: Yeah for sure, I can see that in addition to her acting career she, of course, has the eCommerce lifestyle brand goop.com, which is also focused on having a great lifestyle, and you know the various different aspects of that, so having a positive co-parenting relationship I can see that would sort of fit in to that. Yeah, and she did have that very high profile divorce a few years ago, where the media was quite nasty towards her. I found it to be really discouraging that the intention and the desire to have an amicable divorce would be considered by the general media as being sort of a ridiculous goal to have or you know, just something the general public could aspire to. So I love that she's putting up her energy behind this with you. Michael: I think she's such a gracious person, I think Gwyneth is a really, you can just see it like when you're talking to her that she's really, you'll never know, you know I mean most of the media unfortunately for her, they portrayed her in any way that they want to, and they could do that with anyone, they could do that with you, me, anybody they wanted to. And I think it's unfortunate cause it's a "yeah you got your head in these clouds if you think people can do this amicably". But she's, you know, she's told me that she has a better relationship now with her ex-husband Chris, than ever before! She says "you know we have the best relationship we've ever had!" and that speaks volumes to her because that takes work. That takes a real concerted effort to just be able to say that, and to have done that cause she's doing better than I am, you know I mean like.. most people just don't do that well, with that. And I think most people like she said like most people get caught up in trying to be right... I'm right, I'm right. But it's like, it's not about being right, it's about being effective. Let's be effective for the benefit of our kids, let's not worry about being right. I listen to that, cause I'm.. just one of these guys who just want to be right. You know, I wanna win the argument. But you know, I got some maturing to do as well, you know. Christina: You've done some learning over the years. So in what circumstances do you see the app as being useful? Is this something you can see rolling out to most separating couples? Michael: Oh my goodness. I gotta tell you, I think married people should use this. I mean, let's face it, the number one reason above infidelity and religion - it's funny as it is, and if people would use this app, 'cause so many times, you know in today's world, and this isn't 40 years ago, but today's world, not our parents' generation, but you have 2 separate incomes, 2 separate bank accounts, and 1 person oftentimes paying the lion share of the expenses, and the other person's dropping it on a Harley Davidson or something like this just toys, and that becomes a point when things get tough. That becomes a real point of contention in a relationship. And so, I just think that anybody should. But obviously, that's a little lofty when you think that much married people are gonna jump on it. But, I gotta tell you, I see it ideally if two people can co-parent constructively together, it is a great platform for that. But if not, man do yourself a huge favor, use it because it is so much easier to just stay on top of things that document now than try to dig up those receipts later on. And you never do it, you never end up doing it, in fact, most attorneys tell me "I'm so frustrated with my clients because I tell them document... document and they just don't do it, and then inevitably they lose, and you know, that sucks". Christina: Well there's so many things going on in life where you're separating trend to figure out where you're gonna live, maybe do you need to change your job, how are your children doing, and so the documentation just falls through the cracks. It's not high on the priority list, even though the lawyers might like it to pay. Michael: Yeah exactly. You've got life happening. And let's face it, it's not a fun thing to do. It is just the whole time you do it. You just dread it. It's not fun, I mean, and most people aren't organized with a lot of that stuff, so I just try to make it as easy as possible. And I think Fayr has a sincere effort at accomplishing that. Christina: So having been divorced yourself and now being part of this industry trying to improve the experience for separating couples, do you have any advice? For couples who are in the process right now? Michael: Yeah I do, and it would be, you know it's tough because as you know, once you're years passed it you look back, and it's just like don't live with regrets. Really, really try to power through the nasty things that you kind of do, the unfair things that you do, because you're gonna regret the impact that it has on your kids later on because you wanna be the best you, you wanna be the best version of yourself for your kids. And the only way you're gonna be able to do that is just suck out the poison and they always say, you know, it's not the snake bite that kills you, it's chasing the snake that sends the venom to the heart that kills you. So just don't chase things. Just like what Gwyneth said, "don't worry about being right, just be effective and just be fair." I don't know, it feels like it's so easy to say, it feels like a cliche, it's like to put myself in that position back then, and I would say, "man, what the heck", he doesn't know what he's talking about. He isn't in my situation but, that's so I could tell parents it's just really trying to be fair with one another, 'cause it just hurts your kids when you're not. Christina: I think that's excellent advice. For people who are interested in trying out the app, what's the best way to contact you or to get a hold of the app? Michael : Yeah, so we're obviously on Facebook, Fayr. On Twitter, it's Fayr Dad, and on Instagram we're @BeFayr. www.fayr.com. We have a lot of great information out there, you can google me as well, Michael Daniels Fayr, and you'll see up just a bunch of plan of the apps stuff, videos. We've been in the news all over the place even in England and Germany, actually. We got a lot of exciting things happening. Fayr is doing great and we're gonna keep growing it as 55 million people across America who are living in a sort of two-home situation raising kids co-parenting, and I'm gonna keep marching forward and helping every one of them out that I can. Christina: And right now you said Fayr is available on the Apple App Store? Michael: Yes it is available in the App Store, that's Apple. And in another 2 weeks, it will be available for Android. Sorry Android has taken so long but we're constantly improving things and that's just more development time. Christina: So for people who are not hearing this at the time of the original release, that will be around the end of November 2017. Okay Michael well thank you so much for your contribution to improving the lives of co-parents and kids out there. Michael: Christina thank you so much for having me, I really appreciate it being here. Christina: And a pleasure talking to you.

About Channeling with Frank Butterfield

Shift Your Spirits

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 21, 2017 48:16

Frank W. Butterfield is a Master Channel who has been working with individuals and groups since 2009 to help his clients remember who they are, in truth. First learning to channel in 1990, Frank has worked both in and out of the corporate world. He has discovered that the best way to live his own life is to allow the Universe to sort things out for him but always remembers that your mileage may vary. Having traveled extensively most of his life, he currently resides in Daytona Beach and has no interest in racing cars or riding motorcycles, but does love the beach. WE TALK ABOUT: …channeling, Communion of Light, Paul, chakras, the difference between mediumship and channeling, Edgar Cayce, Jane Roberts, Seth, Ester Hicks, Abraham, the distinction between channeling and deep trance channeling, intuitive development, psychic readings, the difference between willingness and ability... BOOKS MENTIONED: Opening to Channel by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer Out on a Limb by Shirley MacLaine Seth Books by Jane Roberts Oversoul Series by Jane Roberts A Course in Miracles by Dr. Helen Schucman Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks This Morning, Over Here: A Memoir That Never Happened by Frank Butterfield GUEST LINKS - Frank Butterfield FrankWButterfield.com Communion of Light HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSON Slade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition BECOME A PATRON https://www.patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT INTRO Thanks for listening to the Shift Your Spirits podcast. I’m your host Slade Roberson. For eleven years, I’ve been a professional intuitive and the author of the blog Shift Your Spirits, where I try to write about spirituality with fewer hearts and flowers than most New Age blather. I also mentor emerging intuitives, psychics, and healers in a program called Automatic Intuition. Today I have an interview with Frank Butterfield about channeling. What channeling is, how to do it. What it means to be a channel, and what to do if you think you might be one. I love all my interview guests and all their segments are special for different reasons. But I must say, I did personally really dig the middle of this interview with Frank. I guess I should say he brought through a message that really resonated for me in that moment. I felt like he was channeling for me. I asked the question I sometimes ask guests, about what message he thinks is missing from the New Age conversation, and he went off about giving up what you're trying to get. I can’t even paraphrase it or repeat it... It’s a real twist on the concept of “surrender”— it's bad ass and down to earth and yet conceptually elevated. Be sure and listen for it. And, of course, as always, there’s an oracle segment at the end of the show. So be thinking about a question or a concern you have. Hold it in your mind, and I’ll come back on, after the final links and credits, and leave you with that extra message. BEFORE I FORGET I'd like to say a quick thank you to Angela Brophy and Tina Whisnant, my newest supporters on Patreon. I appreciate all of you who have pledged your support and I’m really excited to see the new names each week. It demonstrates that you’re enjoying the show and want it to continue. That’s very encouraging to me, so thank you. Listeners who support the show on Patreon can access bonus Q&A episodes, where you guys send in questions, I record answers to them, and they go out to patrons of the show exclusively. There’s also a level of support with a free guided meditation "Messages from Your Spirit Guides." To find out how you can become a patron, support my time in producing this show, and access the extra bonus content, please go to patreon.com/shiftyourspirits This week’s interview with Master Channel Frank Butterfield is a nice length, so I am going to cut my personal intro here. Let’s listen to Frank: INTERVIEW SEGMENT Frank: Well, my name is Frank Butterfield and I am a Channel, first and foremost. I've been doing that since 1990, although I've done a lot of other things. And I also am an author. I've published 19 novels and 3 non-fiction books that are based on my channeling work. I live in Daytona Beach Florida, right at the end of the road and go to the beach as often as I can. And have a pretty wonderful life. It's pretty quiet and I'm really enjoying where I'm at. And I'm also really glad to be here. Slade: Thank you for being here. So what is channeling, for somebody who's never heard of that before. What is it and how do you do it? Frank: Well, the way I do it, and it's a good question because there's a lot of different ways that people define channeling. But the way that I do it is I basically sit. I allow an energy, what I call a broader, non-physical perspective, to come through and sit in me. And then it speaks through me. And so communion of light is sort of the name that's used to describe what's going on and then the energy, the voice that talks through me, has a name called Paul. That theoretically is supposedly connected to Saint Paul, formerly Saul of Tarsus, but I don't really put a lot of stock into that. But in any event, it is very distinct. It speaks in a very different voice than I do, although our voices are now more similar than ever before. But now that I'm much more used to it and have been doing it for a long time, but the way in which they talk and I do speak of them as plural, with other people, it's very different than the way I do. They get away with a lot of shit that I wouldn't dare let myself do. But essentially, channeling is, for me, is just literally sitting inside of myself, not reaching up or out, but sitting inside myself and opening up something that then comes down into me and then moves through me. If you want to talk about chakras, what I'm doing is sitting in my heart chakra and then letting my throat chakra be open. And that's all that it is. It's really simple. It's very simple now. Of course it wasn't simple at the beginning. But that's what it is. What it isn't is mediumship. I can do mediumship. I don't like it, but basically what mediumship is for me is there's an energy that sits on my right and sort of whispers in my ear and then I relay what they're saying to whoever the mediumship experience is for. I haven't done it in a long time and I don't really have any desire to do it. There's lots of really great mediums out there. But mediumship and channeling are not the same thing. Mediumship I like to consider to be sort of on the 6th chakra level. So it's more of a psychic experience that involves personality to personality interaction. Channeling the way that I do it is more of a 7th chakra perspective, where it's about a broader perspective, narrowing itself down through me. Whereas mediumship is very peer-to-peer, and channeling the way that I do it is a little bit different than that. Slade: Okay, so how did you discover that you had the ability to do this? Frank: Well, I don't know that... that's a really good question. The way I found out how to do it was that I was working at a metaphysical bookstore that is sadly closed, called Fields Books, on, that was on Polk Street in San Francisco. And they had a book there that they were selling called Opening the Channel by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer which is still available and I highly recommend it. And I bought it, took it home and basically over the course of one afternoon, I don't recommend this, I sat down and kind of went through all the processes as fast as I could. And by that evening, something was talking through me. It was really difficult but it happened and it's... you know what's interesting is, it's not so much an ability as it is an interest. and I believe that's true about anything at all. No one really has innate abilities but people cultivate ideas because they're interested in them. And then they just get better and better at them through practice or through repetition or whatever it may be. Slade: Okay. So when you were saying that you were aware that something was speaking through you, so were you in a trance when this happened or were you consciously aware of it? Explain the distinction there in your awareness. Frank: Well my exposure to channeling prior to that was through reading the words of Jane Roberts and seeing the made-for-TV movie Out on a Limb that was a Shirley MacLaine project based on the novel or the non-fiction book she wrote, and they filmed two different channels and those two different channels actually sort of represent the distinction that I was talking about a little earlier. One of the channels was more of a medium, and one of the channels was more of a sort-of broader perspective sort of person. But in any event, one of them obviously went into a very deep trance and the other one sort of went into a lighter trance. Jane Roberts went into a very deep trance apparently from the way it was described in the writings. As did Edgar Cayce. Who's another Channel who predates Jane Roberts. But I, when I first was doing this, I was in - it was like I was in a hypnotic state. I was aware of what was going on, but I had nothing to do. And my job was to be open, which at the beginning was difficult but became easier and easier. Now I can move back and forth very easily between the two states. I've never really been a deep trance Channel and I don't have the personality for it. I just kind of refuse to do anything where I'm absent from the process. But I can also say that when I am channeling, there are plenty of times when I have no idea, I know that specific words like 'the', 'brown', 'dog', I know that 'the' and 'brown' and 'dog' were said, but I don't understand why they were said, I don't know what that meant, and I've learned not to care. That took awhile. But it's not a deep trance. There's some people who can do that and they're very good at it and they just kind of get knocked out. Sanaya Roman talks about that in her experience that she, her first experience channeling was she turned on a tape recorder, she fell asleep and then she woke up 30 minutes later and it was 30 minutes of words that she didn't remember. She just thought she was asleep the entire time. I've never had that experience, but I do sort of fade away and then come back. And time moves in a very different way than when I'm doing something like this, where I'm very aware of the passage of time. A long period of time will go by and I'll think it's only been 10 or 15 minutes. Slade: How long was it from the time that you first tried this in San Francisco, sort of as an experiment How long was it from the time that that happened until you met Paul, or the Communion of the Light sort of revealed itself? Frank: So there's kind of three stages. So from 1990 to the winter of 1991, into '92, I was channeling this voice that called itself Raji. Which is an Indian first name. And it said very clearly, I'm here to help you get started and then when we're done I'll be gone and I'll move on. And the winter of '91, '92 I lived in Provincetown, on the end of Cape Cod, and I was with a group that was reading A Course in Miracles, and one night, we were playing a round with the Ouija board, and the Ouija board said, Tell Frank to channel. So I opened up and this very different thing happened. A very different voice and Raji was gone and has never been back. So from that, I guess it was actually like January of '92 until June of 2007, I was channeling this sort of indeterminate, just very broad, non-personality driven energy. Which I now recognize was the Communion of Light. That's who they were. But that was where I was in my ability, in my interest in allowing them. I was kind of going around saying, I'm kind of a Channel, I should be a Channel, I should be doing this but I'm not really doing it. And then in that interim time, in those 15 years, I went from being a person who kind of bopped around the country, to getting a real job and becoming really successful really quickly. And then all of a sudden remembering that I didn't have to do that anymore. And so I had a real job for about 10 years, and then I just quit. And I walked around for about a year, year and a half, saying, There's something I know how to do that I probably should be doing, but I don't know what it is. And it was channeling. And I remember having lunch with a friend of mine, saying, I know there's something that I do that I'm supposed to be doing. And I'm going to come back to you at some point and say, You know what that thing was? And that was right. It was a, like a Thursday night, and a friend of mine, my roommate and I had gone to see a movie, we came back to the apartment, we sat down and I just said, I think I'm supposed to channel for you. It just all of a sudden occurred to me. And so when I opened my mouth, this more focused version of what I had been doing over the previous 15 years appeared. And kind of gave itself a definition in a way that it didn't have before. And I had a more, not really a personality, but a more clear notion of what it was. And it began to speak and then in that first night, it, or they, introduced themselves. They were like, Frank should do this and this and this, none of which I did. And then they, when it was kind of over with, when they helped my friend with a question about his career, and which apparently was very useful, because he actually did what they suggested and then they said, Okay well now we're going to show you how to be a medium. And I was like, Okay, whatever. And they brought his mother in, who I'd never met, and then gave, you know, very, like all good mediums, they gave three points of identifying information that I had no idea about but that gave my friend the clue that there was something going on. And we even had what the Spiritualists would call a demonstration. There was an aroma of roses went through this room that was completely sealed off and just had air conditioning on. And it was pretty amazing. And I did that, like I said, I did that for a little while and then I was like, That's not really me. And I now realize what they were doing was saying, Okay here's a little bag of tricks that you think you're supposed to have. Why don't you go play with them and see if you like them. I didn't like any of them. So I just became a Channel. And that was, I'm sure this is on your list of things to ask me, but that was about two months before I talked to you. Slade: Oh! Okay, yeah. I mean one of the things that I'm enjoying about this conversation, for the record for those who are listening, I have known you and observed from outside the experience, but I was curious about, I've heard these stories too, so I'm sitting here putting it all together as a timeline. So you're saying this is where I came in to knowing you. Frank: Yeah. That's exactly right. Slade: Okay, so keep going. This is fascinating. Frank: So I did that for a couple months. I was just kind of trying to figure out what to do with my life and then I kind of came to a crisis where I was trying to understand what it meant to be a Channel. Did it mean I was going to have to give up myself, which is what I had always believed. I think that's why I always dabbled with it. That I was going to have to give up my personality, my sense of self. And I had had a project at the time where I was interviewing people and I can't even remember what the topic was, but you were one of the people that I interviewed. For some, like it was a podcast or, I don't know what I was doing. But somehow that's how I got in touch with you. And then about a week after we talked, I called, I texted, I don't know how I got in touch with you, but I just was like, I need help, I'm having a nervous breakdown. And you kind of walked me through, No, there's - I don't remember what you said, but what i got out of it was, there's you as the Channel, and then there's you as Frank. And you're, it's just like a job. You're going to put on this hat, and when you're done with the hat, with the job, you take off the hat. And I was like, Oh, yeah, of course! And so, what's interesting is, what has actually happened is that through the channeling and through what I've been doing since then, I have become more of myself, not less. And I have become more at peace with different idiosyncratic aspects of myself and different parts of my personality and everything is sort of folded in together, instead of being these wildly disparate parts that I was really scared of. And now everything is more integrated. So it's exactly the opposite of what I was afraid of. So that's how we met. And then the next significant thing that happened was that I, about a month after we talked, at this point I was living in Dallas, which is itself a weird story because I had lived in Austin and nobody goes from Austin to Dallas. Everybody goes from Dallas to Austin. Because they're like, I'm tired of living this big city life. I'm going to go some place where everybody's cool. So I did the opposite. But in doing so, I met a group of people in Fort Worth, of all places, who were Abraham devotees. And Abraham, I'd always been like, I'd seen the books, I'd never picked one up, and I thought, Oh Abraham, Sarah, Esther... I get it. Bible, bible, bible. This is just more of that old new-thought crap where everything has to be biblically based. Of course I didn't read anything. I didn't know what they were talking about. But it just - I was like, Eh, whatever. So I go to this group in Fort Worth and then there's going to be an Abraham workshop down in San Antonio. So there I'll just, as Abraham people do, completely, completely over the moon about this opportunity. And they're like, You have to go with us! And so I did. Even though I really didn't have the money. Somebody actually paid for me to go, which was really sweet. So we get there and of course, being this group, we got there as soon as the doors opened. And so we then sat in chairs for an hour and a half waiting for the thing to start. Because everybody wanted to be right up front. And we get in there and I'm just like, Okay, then suddenly, the room's filling up and it's time to start. And I suddenly became aware of the presence of Abraham as an energy. And it was just really obvious. And then as soon as, the way I imagine is the way I saw it, was that up at the top of the room, there was like people waiting, like people waiting for the warehouse to open or the factory to open to start their shift. And they were all standing around smoking cigarettes and shooting the breeze. And then all of a sudden, the shift started and it all coalesced as a single energy right at the centre of the room. I wasn't imagining this. It was literally what I saw. That's how i interpreted it. And then as soon as that coalescing happened, Esther and Jerry, Esther Hicks and her husband Jerry, walked in the door. And Esther's the woman who channels Abraham. They walked in the door and we started. The first part of the workshop was amazing. There were one after another after another of people asking questions and it was really, really amazing to sit there and watch Esther do her thing. Because I could see what she was doing. As a Channel, I knew enough about what I was doing already to see how she was handling the energy. What was fascinating was a guy comes up. The last question of the first segment. So before the first break. And he's missing an arm, missing his right arm and missing his right leg. And he walks up and he sits down in the chair and he says, I want my arm and my leg back. Just like that. That's literally his opening question. And I saw Esther kind of pop out and look around at the room, be like, How the hell am I going to do this? Which I very much recognized. And then she popped back in. And then Abraham began to do something that I'm now very familiar with, and was kind of like, helping him begin to open up to possibilities instead of seeing a big leap from a missing limbs to i want to have the limbs back, began to walk him through the ideas of what could possibly happen. And a lot of it was about being willing to be like the coolest guinea pig who tests out new prosthetics, which I thought was amazing. But it was just this really great conversation. When that was over with, because I didn't know myself like I know myself now, I didn't do this, but I immediately wanted to get up and drive back to Dallas. I did not want to stay for the rest of the workshop. But because I was there with this group of people and this person had paid for me to be there, I stayed. What a friend of mine who was in that group said to me later was that, she said I thought you just looked so angry after that first break. And I said, Well, I wasn't angry. I just was very uncomfortable. And what I ended up doing was I ended up getting all the way to the back of the room. I wanted to be there because I felt like I was doing homework. Or studying something. And I wanted to be in the room but I didn't want to be in the room. And I went all the way, way, way, way into the back. And that's the only Abraham workshop I've ever been to and I would never go to one again. I might change my mind and it's not because the work isn't amazing. It's just because it's not me. And it's not for me. But the next thing that happened after that was about six months later after I was still kind of dabbling a little bit and hadn't really said, Okay I'm a Channel and this is what I do. I end up back in Austin and the way Communion of Light describes this is, the way Paul describes this is, that they sent me to Abraham school, which, that's really the best way to put it. I just suddenly had an idea one day and I realized there was this law of attraction group in Austin that was kind of sitting there with nobody running it. And I had been part of that before I moved to Dallas. And I was coming back to Austin so I thought, Oh great, I'll just take over this group. It was one of those meet-up groups. We'll just study Ask and It Is Given, which is the big Abraham book. And so I did, I don't know why it came to me, but I just set up this little agenda, something I would never even normally do. And like we're going to do chapters 1, 2, 3, first week and then 4, 5, 6, and then 7, 8, 9. And I stood up at the front. I explained, we went through that book. And then we went through another book. And then we did the first book again. And then I set up the second group. And then both of the groups ended at the same time the study of whatever books we were looking at, after about six months. And then I was done. And by then, I knew it felt better to just leave. And that's when I started kind of my practice that I do now and the work that I do now. And that's when clients began to come to me and began to show up. And I started being able to make a living doing what I do now. And that was - what was also fascinating about that is that at the beginning, the first year or two I got lots of people who were saying - well there were two groups. One group would say, I've gotten everything from Abraham I can get. And so now I've found you and now I feel like all of my questions are being answered. Because that is the difference between Paul and Abraham's. Paul directly answers the questions that people ask whereas Abraham will take the questions and use them as examples for teaching. And Paul will say very clearly we don't teach. We remind. And that's a big part of what they talk about. And they're always kind of reminding people that that's what they're doing. So that was one group. But then there was another group much smaller. Who would kind of show up, they would sort of pop their head up somewhere and say, You're just copying Esther. I'm like, you need to come and see that this is very different. But it took me awhile to be able to realize that I was right when I said that. Because I would, every time someone would show up to say that, I would sort of think, well maybe they're right. Maybe I'm just mimicking. And then I would ask people who'd been to every single Abraham workshop since 1993 and say, Is this the same? And they would say, No, it's absolutely different. The words are enough the same to where I don't get lost. And that's when I begin to realize, Oh, that's why I went to Abraham school. Was so that I would learn that language. So that happened for the next couple of years and then by about 2010, I was in my element and I was rocking and rolling and that's what's been going on ever since. Getting better and better, but you know, pretty much... Slade: Yeah, so currently, because I've been to live events like what you describe. The trance channeling event that I went to was a much smaller, like a circle, kind of thing. 20 people. It wasn't a full-on conference hall kind of experience. But channeling is obviously different than what most people expect from a psychic reading and so... Frank: Yes. Slade: Just kind of describe for people how do you do your work? How do your followers or clients experience these messages? How do you put them out there? Frank: Well, the way people - I don't know how people find me. Because I don't advertise. They just show up. And that's perfect. That's exactly right. But in terms of how I interact with people or how they interact with Paul, I do have, well, I guess I have three different types of experiences that people can get into. First there's a thing that's been going on since 2010 called the Village, which is just a series of weekly calls that happen twice a week now, used to be three times but now twice, and you just, it's open. You bring whatever question you have and there are people from all over the world who come into those calls. The other thing that I do, and I don't do it every week but almost every week is, I have a Saturday through Friday series of conversations that happen at the same time every day. 10am Eastern Time. And people come in with - there's a little, it's on a specific topic and there'll be a 10 - 15 minute initial sort of conversation about it and then time for people to ask questions about it after that. And so that's - they can, that's one way of sort of coming in a little bit closer because those conversations are much more intimate and they're very specific. So people come in with specific questions on a specific topic, like it might be, their self-image, body, creativity, their work, money. Any... It can be, or just general metaphysics, sometimes. So there's that. And I also do private sessions where people can talk one on one. One of the strategies, for lack of a better way of putting it, that I've developed is, I kind of keep the private sessions over to the side. Because there was a period of time when I had what I like to call “looky-loos", who came in and would do one private session and they would not read any of the things I had written about what a session is like, and they would come in and be like, Tell me about my Aunt Esther. And I'm like, ... did you... and Paul would basically read them the Riot Act and say, This is not fortune telling. This is not that. This is not mediumship. There are other people. Go to them. But if you want to find out about you in relationship to your Aunt Esther, whether she's alive or dead, we can talk about that. But we can't tell you about her because we're not talking to her we're talking to you. And that, I began to realize... So now, in terms of pricing, if somebody comes to the website, you can book a private session, but it's going to cost a whole lot of money. And I do that specifically because I don't want people just coming in off the street doing that. I'd rather them go in through, either the Village or through actually the morning series calls. Because there it's a really good way to get exposed to the material. I also have tons of samples. I don't even know how many hours now. But lots and lots of them. So there's lots of opportunities to sort of hear what it's like and then decide if it's right. Because it isn't right for everybody. And I would not suggest that anyone who generally considers themselves to be a psychic or to be interested in intuitive development, a lot of the people you work with, that that's not going to be enough. You're going to want to have something a little bit more because I don't like to say that this is advanced material, because it isn't, but we talk a lot about things that, as far as I know, are not being discussed anywhere else. But then again, I don't really know because I don't pay attention to what anyone else is doing. But I do know that Paul is very direct with people and is very clear and that's not for everybody. Because some people, and I do hold you responsible for this by the way, Slade. Slade: Why? Frank: Because you're - that thing that you say. Where 83% less flowers or something. Slade: Oh, okay! Frank: It comes from that. It literally comes from that. Because there was something that, there was like the first time I ever saw your website and I saw that, it was like a bell went off. And I thought, Of course! That's actually what makes what I'm doing very different. Because there's no soft pedaling. It's not hard information. It's not scary information. It's just very direct. It's like, You are doing this and you can do something different. Which is very different than saying, Well, you know, some people do it in this way and then you could maybe think about doing it in that way. It's very direct. Gets right to the heart of the matter of whatever the person is bringing to the table. Which I very much love. Because, to me, that's the most useful thing you can do. But it's not what everybody wants. And I wouldn't pretend to think that that would be right for any particular specific person. Only the other person is going to know. I would never know. So that's why I like to kind of give people the ability to sort of float in and float out and see what they like and what they don't. And then if they want to go deeper, there's lots of other opportunities to do that. Slade: You'd be the perfect person to ask the question about what kind of message do you feel like perhaps it's something that comes through when you're doing these sessions with Paul and the Communion of Light. A message that you feel like is missing from a lot of other new age channels and I don't mean channel in the literal sense. I just mean any kind of platform that produces these types of conversations. This type of subject matter. Is there something that you sort of want to put out there that you don't feel gets said enough? Frank: Well, if you want to hear, yes. There is one very specific thing. But it's kind of an assholey thing for me to say. Slade: That's alright. Frank: Okay. So it's that, it's basically - how much can I curse? Slade: You can curse all you want to. I'll put a little red E on the episode. Frank: Okay. Stop. Fucking. Manipulating. The. Universe. Stop trying to manipulate the Universe to give you what you want. It doesn't work. And I know you agree with me on this. Well, actually I don't know that. I suspect you do. What I hear a lot of new age people saying is, Here's how you're going to convince the Universe to be on your side. And that's not the way it works. The Universe is absolutely positively on your side. In a way that you can't even begin to comprehend because there's no person who is on your side the way the Universe is. Because every person has an ax to grind. And that makes them distinct from you. That's part of the set up of physical reality is that there's a distinction between you and someone else. And the distinction is not the body but rather the intention that causes the body to happen. So the thing that really - it doesn't bother me. It's just like, there's a lot of, How can I massage the Universe, how can I convince the Universe to do what I want it to do? You can't. You can't control it. But you can direct it. But directing and controlling are two very very different things. You can direct and say, this is the intention that I have. And then you have to stand back and let it happen. And you can't control it. And there's sort of an idea in the new age new thought arena where if I can figure out how to control my mind, control my body, control my events, control my circumstances, control my situations, control my relationships, then I'll get all the things that I want. But that's impossible. You literally can't control any of those things. Slade: Yeah... Frank: Because control is the illusion that we generate because we believe, and this is getting right to the heart of stuff Paul talks about, because we believe we live in a chaotic universe and we are supposed to be controlling things. It's not just something that people do who have a pathology. It's what you're supposed to do because otherwise you are going to get in a shitload of trouble. Slade: So what can we do instead? How should we orient ourselves away from that in another direction? Frank: Well my favorite thing that Paul says is, Give up now. Give up early. Give up often. Give up immediately. Give up constantly. Always give up. Always give up. And that's another one of those new age things where people will come around and be like, Never give up! Hold on to your dreams. No. Actually, give up your dreams. Not because you're now giving them away and you're never going to have them again. But because the Universe actually... it's not like the Universe ever forgot that you had a dream. And it's not your job to work on it. So the practical, most practical thing, in my opinion, is, and it's to be willing to let go of whatever it is that you're trying to get. Slade: Mmm... Frank: But the key there is willing. It's amazing how many people will be like, will say, I don't want to give up what I'm working on. Well, you don't have to give up on it. Just be willing to give up on it. And the way Paul puts that is, still, somebody will say, Well, I'm intending to create this experience. And they'll say, Okay... First and foremost, are you willing to not have it? And of course, you know, even people who've been asked that question many times will say, No, I'm not. I really, really... I need it. I want it. I've got to have it. I've got to get it. And then I say, Well, you're going to have a very hard time getting to it because as long as you NEED it, you're always going to be in a state of needing it. And means that it will be over there, not over here. You don't accomplish NEEDING something by getting to it or making it happen. Even the people you think are doing that, even when you think you've done that in the past, that's not how it happened. It happened because you let go of it long enough for it to come to you. Because that's the way this is designed. Everything comes to you. Nothing is supposed - you're not supposed to be reaching out for anything. You can, and it's okay if you do, but let it come to you because everything is designed to come to you but not in the sort of Shirley Temple Good Ship Lollipop sort of way that most people think that means. Like, well then everything will be exactly perfect. No! Shit is still going to happen. But you need shit to happen. Because that's part of the physical experience. That's how you define the difference between one thing and another. Is by noticing, This is something I don't want. And so that gives you the opportunity to decide, well this is something I do want. But not want as in need, but want as in have a preference for or have an affinity for. Slade: Mmm... Frank: And as I've begun to kind of, for myself, really take a lot of this in and try to walk as much of the talk that comes out of my mouth as I can, what I've noticed is, my desire for stuff has diminished. Greatly. Slade: Mmm... Frank: Whereas I thought, I was always afraid for a long time that all of this talk how manifestation works in creating your own reality, I would end up being very greedy. But actually the exact opposite has happened And I find myself more delighted to be in the midst of what I'm beginning to realize other people are probably judging me for, which I don't really give a shit about, and I don't give a shit about it. They're like, You should be - and I say this very jokingly - you're as good as Esther. Why don't you have three houses and 15 gazillion clients and selling 19,000 best-selling books because you're not working, you're not doing what you're supposed to do? No, I'm doing exactly what I want to do. And I don't want any of that. I thought I wanted it. Because it seemed like this very Good Ship Lollipop kind of thing that would be really great to have and then I would be in the middle of all of this whatever it is that she has and, I don't want what she has. I mean, I love that she has it. I think that it's fabulous. But I don't want it. This sounds much loftier and much more exalted than I mean it. It's just, being willing to give up what it is that I thought I wanted has allowed me to discover what it is that I truly, truly, truly love. Which I feel like I've just barely scraped the surface of. Slade: That was awesome. I love all of that. I'm just taking it in. I'm glad I asked you that question. It was a last minute add. Alright, let's switch gears just a little bit. There's somebody out there listening right, who feels like they might be emerging as a Channel. They're going through that experience that you were going through 10 years ago. So what do you recommend that they do first? Frank: Well... Oh that's a really good question. It would depend. And so I'll give a couple of scenarios. The part... So the story that I've told about my own process is stretched out because I'm really stubborn. But I also had to kind of learn who I was. And that didn't happen 'til I turned 40. Really, truly. And that was 10 years ago. So all that summer of 2007 stuff was right after I turned 40. And that's kind of when I became a real person, in my opinion. Because everything else I'd been doing was, I was trying to satisfy other people's desires, and that's - if you're willing to become a Channel, you're going to discover all of the shit that you've been trying to pull on yourself your entire life. You can't get away from it. And that's not for everybody. But the simple most practical thing I would do is I would either get a coach, a mentor, someone else who's done it, or really go to the basics, which is that book. There's never been a better book written on this topic than Opening the Channel. It is - and if you do what they say in the way that they say it, and you do it in the order and in the amount of time it takes, not one day, but over a series of weeks into months, it will work. You'll also discover what it is that you're really wanting. When, back in that summer of 2007, there was a guy that I knew in Dallas who I went and had lunch with one day. And I was telling him about, it was after I'd been to San Antonio, and I was telling him about what I'd seen and what had happened and all that. And he, because his way of teaching is to be an asshole, so what he did was, he said, This is all about your ego. And I was like, Well, yes but except for the part where I'd done this long enough to know that it isn't about my ego. I would be willing to walk away from it. I'm not trying to do this to become famous or become like, although I probably didn't say that at the time, but I was pretty aware of it at the time. But what he was pointing out was, you're going to get to sit in all of your stuff and that's, it's not for the faint of heart. And I'm not saying it's hard. It's actually, this is actually a very simple thing to do. It's just that it requires you to move into a place psychologically, mentally, energetically, where you're willing to let go of what you think is supposed to happen. And for me, that's what channeling - for me it's a daily practice. That's what channeling is. Is it allows me to sit and let something much bigger than me happen. Through me. And to be willing to not have to figure out what I'm going to say next or how I'm going to do it or how I'm going to show up. Just to be able to recognize the right people, right place, right time, right way, is what's going on. Always. So the willingness to fall back into that and to be open to it is first and foremost. And when I say willingness, I don't mean ability to do that. It's WILLINGNESS. Because everybody has the ability to do that already. Organically. As a part of their nature. The willingness is where the rub is. If you're willing to let it happen, it will happen. But you don't - and it's not 100% willingness, it's just a little bit, in my experience. So again, the practical thing is: a. Get help. Don't do it by yourself. Even if that means just a book. Or.. because they also did a set of recordings, Sanaya and Duane did, on this, for that book. But get someone else to help you. And be aware of the fact that not mediumship, which is a very different thing, but channeling as in, just letting this energy come through you, is about being willing to let something bigger than how you perceive yourself happen. And it sounds really exalted and, Ohmygod, that's of course exactly what everyone and all people should be doing. But it's scary as shit. Because when the rubber meets the road, you've still got your identity of yourself and how you are holding yourself together and what you're supposed to be doing to make things happen. And channeling will challenge that. It's not difficult and it's not really as scary as I'm making it sound. It's just that it's like a very fast course of psychotherapy. Slade: Well it sounds like if you are listening to this and you feel like that is your path, the easiest thing for you to do as a human being, period, is to simply move in to it. And move through it. Right? Frank: Yeah. And it's not going to feel simple. But it is the simplest thing. Slade: I don't want to run out of time, and I could talk to you all day and we could just go and go and actually people could just go to you and listen to more of you. But I want to give you an opportunity to talk about - you have a new book that just came out today called, This Morning, Over Here: A Memoir That Never Happened. Tell us about that. Frank: Well, briefly. It's a little novella that I wrote about a month ago as just something that came to me and it's a story about me moving over into what Paul likes to call a Parallel Reality. And I just wake up one morning and I have everything that I've ever wanted. But I don't have everything that I know. And it's sort of like, 24-hour period of walking through this reality trying to figure out who I am now, and it's - I wrote it, it's kind of in the tradition of Jane Roberts The Over Soul Seven series of books and taking some of these ideas and putting them into practice. But hilariously, yesterday, because I knew I was going to release this today, I asked Paul, Okay, could this actually happen? Because I knew they were involved in this. In fact, they're quoted in the book to a certain extent. And they were like, No, you can't. You literally can't do that. And they explained why, in a lot of detail, much longer than we have here. But they said thinking about it is really helpful thing because being aware of the fact that every idea manifests, every idea manifests. It just may not manifest with you. Is a very powerful thought. And there's a lot you can do with that. So I really enjoyed the process of writing the book. I really love the story for a variety of reasons. And it was one of those experiences where I, exactly what they said yesterday is exactly what I discovered. Which was, as I wrote the book, I could see the ME that moved over into this other reality started kicking ass a little bit more than I normally do. And I was kind of like, Oh, I like that! I like what's going on over here. And it wasn't the stuff. It was what happened in my personality, how I adapted to it. So it was fun to write. And it's a really quick read. It's only 24,000 words so it's maybe a couple of hours at the most. And I just had a lot of fun with it. And it's up on Amazon, so... Slade: Links in the show notes. I'll put a link in there for sure. So, Frank, it's been really wonderful just to kind of hear your story laid out in chronological fashion like that. Tell everyone where they can go online to find you. Frank: So it's really easy. Just go to CommunionofLight.com and there's a bunch of things there. You can contact me through there. You can listen to hundreds or samples of things that I've done over the last 10 years, or last 7 years, really. Or you can jump in and enjoy some of the things we're doing. And get in touch! let me know you heard this conversation. I'd love to talk to anyone about the topic of channeling or whatever it is that comes up for you. And so, thats where you can find me. That's where I'm at. Slade: Well I feel really honoured to get to capture some of your time and wisdom today. It was really terrific. Thank you for coming on. Frank: Well thank you! It was a real pleasure and what a lot of fun as always talking with you. OUTRO Thanks again for listening to the Shift Your Spirits podcast. For show notes, links, transcripts and all the past episodes please visit shiftyourspirits.com You can subscribe in iTunes or Stitcher or whatever app you use to access podcasts. If you’d like to get an intuitive reading with me, or download a free ebook and meditation to help you connect with your guides please go to sladeroberson.com and if you’re interested in my professional intuitive training program, you can start the course for free by downloading the Attunement at automaticintuition.com BEFORE I GO I promised to leave you a message in answer to a question or a concern you may have. So take a moment to think about that — hold it in your mind or speak it out loud. I’ll pause for just a few seconds….right…now. 1…2…3…4 MESSAGE Do it or don’t do it. When it comes to purpose, at some point it’s about action and it’s a choice; it’s a decision you make. But just keep in mind, if you’ve been given something really wonderful to share with the world, it’s not selfish for you to do so. It’s the exact opposite. It’s terrible for you to withhold your gift. Let us have it. And I’ll talk to you later.

Repeating Numbers and Stepping Out of the Psychic Closet with Laurra Warnke

Shift Your Spirits

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 14, 2017 45:09

Laurra Warnke is a professional intuitive and author of the blog Intuitive Journal. She also works with the Akashic records to help you get clear on your soul level gifts and heal past life issues. She offers private individual readings and spiritual business mentoring. Our conversation focuses on stepping out of the psychic closet, choosing a spiritual path, and what those repeating number sequences mean. WE TALK ABOUT: ...Akashic Records readings, dark night of the soul, stepping out of the psychic closet, intuition, meditation, seeing repeating numbers, spiritual entrepreneurship, technology is spiritual, confidence, self worth, numerology, Chaldean numerology, repeating numbers, spiritual awakening... GUEST LINKS - Laurra Warnke IntuitiveJournal.com HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSON Slade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition BECOME A PATRON https://www.patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT INTRO Hey, thanks for listening to the Shift Your Spirits podcast. I’m your host Slade Roberson. For eleven years, I’ve been a professional intuitive and the author of the blog Shift Your Spirits, where I try to write about spirituality with fewer hearts and flowers than most New Age blather. I also mentor emerging intuitives, psychics, and healers in a program called Automatic Intuition. Today I have an interview with Laurra Warnke about spiritual awakening, stepping out of the psychic closet, and the meaning of repeating number sequences. And, of course, as always, there’s an oracle segment at the end of the show. So be thinking about a question or a concern you have. Hold it in your mind, and I’ll come back on, after the final links and credits, and leave you with that extra message. I’m going to keep the intro short this week because I have a tiny cut on the very tip of my tongue which is making every word I say a little millisecond of torture. I’m also heading to Atlanta to see Tori Amos in concert. So, let’s just dive in and listen to my conversation with Laurra. Laurra: I’m a professional intuitive and I wasn't always that. I've worked into that over the course of the years here and really through a lot of my own self healing and my own spiritual awakening. And right now I do akashic record readings and those have changed over the years where they're not quite as, let's just follow this one process. It's a little bit more of using pure intution, using numerology, astrology, along with akashic records. And so they've kind of changed as I've grown, and I guess a little bit of the journey, getting started, back in about 2008, I went through what I would consider kind of a dark night of the soul. And it was kind of a rough year. It was a very rough year. And there was some points along the way where I just felt very, very empty inside and like, I had really lost my connection to spirit, connection to source, and well, where do you go now? How do you get through this? And so it kind of began a process of self-healing, and working on a lot of issues of confidence self worth. Part of that was kind of having an inutitive awakening, a spiritual awakening, and I was starting to see repeating numbers at that point in time, and you know, what are those and where do they fit into the process? And at one point, really just coming to the realization, Wow, what I was doing for work in the past isn't anywhere where I need to be and at the time, I was working as an office manager for a financial advisor, and you know, that's a lot of numbers, a lot of paperwork, and a lot of desk work, and there was just this feeling of such emptiness and I know a lot of people, you know, you go through periods where it's, you're just, you feel you're not in the right job so you start going down that process. Well I need a different job and well, you know, as it came to be seen, for me, that job didn't exist in the traditional corporate world and that was kind of beginning of building, starting to build my own business and I started my intuitive journal website in the end of 2009 and by 2010, I was going through your course and a few others and started doing readings professionally and just wanting to help people overcome that feeling of emptiness and... there is more and you can connect with more. So I guess that's a little bit about part of my journey. Slade: Do you remember what it was like when you were on the other side of that decision and of course we hear the terminology, "stepping out of the psychic closet", right? Do you remember what it was like to still be in the closet? And sort of on the other side of making that leap? Laurra: It was utter and sheer terror when I actually had the realization like, Ohmygosh, is this really what I'm supposed to be doing right now? And when I tried to go back into that, it was unawareness. Just like... And that's I think that's part of that dark night of the soul that you go through is the breaking through of unawareness to awareness of, Okay I'm supposed to be over here not where I am, and there was a lot of sadness with it as well. And just a feeling of what I'm doing right now to fill myself up isn't what I need anymore. And so it was a very scary time but yet when you keep waking up every morning thinking about it and, you know, it becomes very compelling. It's like you need to follow that thread. You need to pick up that thread and keep following it. And I think one of the biggest maybe turning points was before I'd even started my blog, I set down on the recliner, I had a digital recorder because that's what you recorded with back then, and I just started talking. And I recorded myself talking for maybe 45 minutes and all of what I had in my head I finally got out. And it was so, just refreshing and relieving to actually put it into words. And I think a lot of people kind of sit in that, you know, where it's a very mental state and a lot going on but to actually start saying it out loud, and I mean I was saying it to myself. There was nobody else in the room when I did that. And after that, when I did that, it's like, Okay, I need to keep going with this. I need to go forward and that's when I started my blog and when I started Intuitive Journal, it was really just like, more along the thought lines of, If I'm experiencing this, others are too. And for me, I felt very alone. Like there was nobody to talk to. I didn't have any friends in the spiritual community at that point in time and anybody that I knew in real life was definitely not on that same page at all and, you know, it makes you feel very, very alone at first. Slade: Let me ask you this when you're talking about the recording that you did. Was that more of a kind of venting the pain so to speak, or was it more like a declaration of your intentions of how you wanted to move forward? Do you recall the content of that? Laurra: It was maybe a little bit of both, but it was getting out where I really stood on things. And so part of it was that venting, where well, No, I don't believe this anymore. I no longer buy into this and, you know, at that point I didn't have it all put together. Slade: So it was like a manifesto, in a way. Laurra: Yeah! Slade: Like you were just channeling this manifesto live in the room by yourself. Laurra: Yeah! Slade: Okay, that's cool. Well how did that end up - did that kind of conversation that you were having with yourself, did it then become sort of what you were blogging about in the intuitive journal? Laurra: Yeah, it actually, when I started to break it down, when I went and listened to it, it really became a lot of the different categories that I started writing about. And anything from intuition or using meditation or the repeating numbers and it was like, my brain dump, I guess, for starting a website. And, yeah, it was kind of interesting just - it started flowing! Slade: So there's somebody listening to us right now in the moment and from the future who is probably in that same state of mind. And we all have this version of our story, right? This sad dark night of the soul turning point story... Laurra: Right. Slade: We really do. We really do. And it's the very first episode of this podcast if anybody wants to hear mine. But, there's somebody listening right now who is nodding along, they're connecting with you, you're really mirroring who they are and where they are right now. What advice would you give her? Laurra: It is a choice to step further down this path, down the spiritual path, doing intuitive work in any form and just to know that there are so many people out there cheering for you and supporting you and that, yes, keep going. Just doing what you can every day. More people need to hear it. More and more and more, I mean, not that you necessarily want to talk about all the events of the world of the day but more people need that message. More people need the connection because I think so many people have forgotten their connection to spirit and we see some of these results when you hear it on the news, and it's needed. Your voice is needed, in whatever form. Whether that's a blog or video or just speaking to, you know, friends and family. One of the things I would say to somebody getting started: the whole stepping out of the psychic closet thing. You don't have to step out 100% out of that closet tomorrow. It can be a very gradual process. And for me, that was my process where there were points along the way where, Ohmygosh I can't step that far. I can't go that far. And so, it was maybe a little bit of a battle with what's in your comfort zone versus what isn't. But just know that each time you publish a blog post or you say something or you do something, each one of those is one of those little steps. And you know, you don't necessarily have to have, it doesn't have to be this big BOOM drop the bomb, you know, to all of your friends and family because usually when you're starting out, your confidence level isn't there to be able to support it. And so telling one person that you really can confide in. Maybe you tell two people. And maybe a year later, you tell more people. So I think part of it is just keeping taking those steps forward where you are comfortable but always pushing yourself just a little bit to come out a little more and a little more and a little more. So I don't know, I hope that helps somebody out there. Slade: Well, and if I can add to that, I would like to say that your friends and family are not necessarily your clients or your audience. Laurra: Exactly. Yup. Slade: And I kind of had the realization that I was keeping myself from doing it or putting myself out there because I had these 3 or 4 imaginary people that I thought would disapprove of it or something. And they weren't even really my family. My family's pretty supportive, but I know that we all have this cluster of people that we think are going to judge us or you know, like give us the side-eye or whatever. And that really hangs in our minds eye or whatever. But once I started doing it, I realized real quickly the crowd of people who wanted to hear what I had to say and were excited about it so completely outnumbered whatever that imaginary group of people is that I thought I was worried about, that it obliterated it. It was like, I'm not working for those people. Are you going to open your mouth and speak your truth because of these three people over here that have got their arms crossed, or for this crowd of 8000 people that's like, cheering you on, you know? It's really kind of, like you said, it is a choice and it becomes an easy decision in hindsight. So I don't want to belittle it for anybody who is trying to make that choice, but I want you to know that there's more people on the other side of it than this list of people that you think will disapprove. By tenfold, you know? Laurra: Tenfold. Slade: And another thing too about the isolation. I've kind of come to believe that maybe we're dispersed through the population for a reason. Like if we all lived in the same town, it would be the coolest place ever, but the rest of the world would just be a nightmare. And I do kind of feel like maybe we're strung throughout the globe like nodes on a network and, in order for that network to be activated and to sort of wrap and enfold everyone, you are actually contributing your part. It's like you're lighting your little candle in the crowd. And that's really the choice that you're making. Like you said, it's not - I wish that we could be like overnight hugely famous and everybody in the world would know what we're doing, but it's much quieter than that, isn't it? Laurra: Yes, definitely much quieter. Slade: What are some of the things you support - one of the things you do in your business is you support spiritual entrepreneurs, people who are trying to build their business and fulfill their calling and do this professionally. So what are some of the things that you notice people bringing you, that they seem to be the most hung up on? Laurra: Um... anything from publishing the first blog post to doing a video... I mean everybody has their points of, you know, we're almost panic attack: Ohmygosh I just can't go there, I can't do that. And yet maybe they're getting their word out in a different way. Some of the more current clients that I've worked with, it has been about adding an additional piece. Like they're doing the work, or they're starting to do the work and, for some people it is, it's about, Let's get your first clients, let's get your practice clients. There could be some hang-up right there and others are a little further along and maybe they're connecting in person and they want to bring in and do a website presence. So that's a lot of the mentoring that I do. Is kind of like adding pieces in and for others, maybe they have the website but they have not built a newsletter and the thought of writing, you know, writing newsletters, publishing that... So it varies from person to person. It's just like, it's all one more step. One more step forward. Slade: So you sort of just support people wherever they are in whatever they're missing from the mosaic, you help them kind of identify that and just do one thing at a time, add one more element. Laurra: That seems to be right now how it is working very well. And so, otherwise I think it can be very overwhelming starting out, and I do think that when you get... Building a website, to me, is kind of like a birthing process. You're birthing your baby and it's like, here's this creation of yours and sometimes getting involved a little too early in that process, sometimes you need to have thought through what am I going to be writing about, what am I going to do, and you've gotten a few pieces in place and okay, and then well, let's bring one more piece in. Let's bring one more piece in. Slade: I think a lot of people get distracted and I think some of the tools of business and communication and technology - all this stuff is amazing, right? Laurra: Oh yeah. Slade: It allows us to be everywhere in the English-speaking world at this moment and it's really pretty cool. And I believe that it's very spiritual. I think technology has a very spiritual element to it for that reason. It's a democratizing force over the long period of time that it will be with humanity. We're going through some birthing pains with that for sure, but one of the things I think people come to me and they have a little bit of everything, or they've studied a lot of different modalities and techniques and tools and maybe done different certifications. One of my ways of approaching mentoring people is just to kind of treat it like, We all have this cool bag of stuff that we bring with us: life experience and wisdom, the practical things that we've learned how to do and the books we've read and, so to me it's about everyone's focused on all those little pieces, right? Like, I gotta have a YouTube and I gotta have a blog. Laurra: Right. Slade: And they're kind of overly focused on the little bits and pieces, whereas to me, the thing that makes your practice YOUR practice or your Purpose is it's kind of like the glue that holds all those things together. You're sort of the grout in the mosaic. You know what I mean? So my goal is to always show someone how to connect all those things, and even in some cases, to disclude some of the things that they're doing. Like you don't need to do that. Somebody told you to do that but it's really not serving a purpose. So one of my best pieces of advce for someone who is trying to do this is to actually follow where the clients take you. Like, you don't really go off in a vacuum and create all this stuff and then come back and be like, TADA! Here's what I got to hit you over the head with. It's much more practical to put yourself out there, see who you attract in your practice and then look at the issues that are being brought to you. Look at the ways that you're mirroring the clients. Is there a pattern to who's showing up for you? It's almost like the clues to your Purpose are within the people that you attract in a way. They're sort of showing you who you are and what you're meant to do for them. And so if you approach it as a, Here's this person, this is what they're presenting me with. What do I have to address that for them? What do I have to support them in their intention or to fix their problem, whatever it might be. And if you just keep doing that, it actually defines a lot of what you do, right? I mean, you write blog posts that answer the questions that people bring you. You create videos and podcasts for the same reason. I mean a lot of what we're doing is we're answering questions that our collective audience brings us over and over again and that's how we decide what we talk about. So I'm interested because I've known you since you started out doing this and that's a really cool perspective to get to see. What has evolved about your practice since the beginning? What's different about who you are now as an intuitive? Laurra: Um, you know, I would say, just confidence. And just seeing a lot of the patterns through many different clients. The same, a lot of the same issues coming through, just finding the thread and the patterns and as far as the modalities and toolkit, the big bag of tools, just keeping expanding on them. Mainly it's because I love it. I love learning a new tool. Is integrating all of those tools and rather than just hanging onto only one tool but to, you know, that does kind of start to become, Okay this is your practice. This is how you are doing healing work. This is how you're identifying problem situations. So it has definitely matured, I guess would be the word I'd use. Matured over the years, where when you learn one thing at first, its like, Oh I have to hang on to that for.. and keep doing that. And okay, now take a breath, you can bring in this one and you can use this tool. And just even a deeper understanding of the tools. Sometimes when you learn a modality, it's very cut and dry. Do it this way, x, y, z. This is step 1, 2, 3. But yet you don't necessarily maybe all the time get where did that come from? How did that develop? And that's where I kind of am at now, going just deeper into some of the history of some of these pieces, like how does it all connect? And I guess I sit at home and contemplate how does this connect with this? How does astrology and numerology and akashic records and all of these other pieces and your intuition and these other different divine energy streams... how do they all connect? How do they all overlap? And you know, it's kind of... I don't know there's a lot of different pieces to it but I just feel that there's this very large common thread. Slade: There's this one piece that you mention that I really wanted to be sure and talk to you about and that was the divine numbers, the repeating number sequences and this is one of my favorite personal topics and I actually always had intentions of blogging about it or writing about it a lot more because I have this one post that I did about the meaning of 222 and the meaning of 11:11 and both of those posts to this day get so much search traffic in Google that you would think my site was entirely devoted to that or something. And I do have a numerology page that I'll link to in the show notes, but you've made this more of a focus topic in your practice than I have. So how did you become interested in repeating number sequences? Laurra: Well for me it was just seeing them myself and becoming very curious about them because like many, many others that are tuning in, you see them much more frequently than would be normal. When you're seeing one number or different combinations of numbers and you're seeing them 6, 7, 10, 15 times a day and yeah, it's there to get you to notice. That you're seeing them. So it's like, Alright, now what? So it's, I guess the way I would look at it is, it's taking you down a path. And just walking your spiritual path. So it's a very easy way for angels to connect with you. Just on your every day choices that you make. And aligning you with a higher vibration. So for me, thinking of each of the numbers as an energetic vibration, I think is helpful. Where the vibrational energy of 222 is slightly different than 777 or something else that you might see. And really it's learning - where most people I think get stuck is, you see them, and it's really cool, Oh that's neat, and then you stop. And you go back to your regular life. No! Hang on - they're there for a reason. Yeah, you are supposed to be doing something. It IS a message from Spirit, from the Divine, and so, one of the things that I can say that helps, because it's different for everybody and that's, there's just not 100% one cut and dry answer for every one, is to really start thinking about, Okay, if you can go back in the last three to five minutes, or even the last hour, maybe even the last day, what were you thinking about that would've been something that would've been raising your vibration? And a lot of times, when I've noticed this happening, is when you're sitting there and you're just kind of daydreaming, like, Oh gosh, it'd be so great if I had a job that was closer to home, that I didn't have to commute, that would be just so awesome. Or maybe you want to take a, maybe it's vacation. So, you know, those are some of the more real life things that... I see it kind of as two different levels. I mean it's spiritual communication but it's also help for you to take some next steps in your day to day life, and for me, one of the biggest times that I saw repeating numbers, it was when I was getting ready to leave my job. And so I was working full time before, and in June of 2011, I left my job in order to be doing this work full-time. In the two week period, maybe even probably a month, before I got up enough courage to give my notice, like the day before the day of, I saw any and all repeating number patterns like, about 40 times in a row. And it was like, Okay, thank you, thank you, thank you for the validation. I can do this! I can go turn in my resignation, and I did. Slade: Mmm... Laurra: So that's just one piece of it. But it is really a, it's there for you to hear it and, Okay, if you're thinking thoughts of starting your own business, of leaving one job for another job, the connection with the energetic vibration, it's like, Okay, maybe there's a better vibration at this new job, maybe you don't have to deal with as much stuff. And it's like, Okay so there's something that's a higher level of connection for you. And just taking that time to really think through it. Slade: Yeah, I think there's kind - and this is my approach, you don't have to necessarily agree with it. I'm interested in seeing where your purpose, where your perspective, sort of adds to my understanding of this. But one of the first things that I tell people, because it seems to me that the first question that I get is, What does it mean? Again, like overly focused on the detail of that individual number, whereas I feel like seeing the numbers at all is kind of a, it's like a flag, right? It's like somebody is - Laurra: Yup. Slade: either flashing a light or setting off an alarm or ringing some bells or showing you these numbers, and it's meant to get your attention, first and foremost. And then I also do the same thing that you said, which is I think, Okay wait a minute, what was I just thinking about? Because you're right. You're usually in a semi-conscious state when you see these things. It pulls you out of a moment of daydreaming while you drive or something like that. And you see it on the dashboard or you see it on the, you know, car in front of you or whatever it might be. And it sort of takes you out of it. So the first thing I try to do is capture what was just being flagged for me? It's like the Universe is observing the security footage of my thoughts and they have time-stamped that moment for some reason, right? Laurra: Yes. Slade: Right there. And so the first thing I ask is, Okay, what am I thinking about when these, this phenomenon keeps occurring, because that's being flagged for me. That's telling me your own thoughts or your own wisdom right there. Pay attention to that dude. It's already there. It's coming through. And then - but there is this other fun element right? Of interpreting them as this kind of Morse code from the beyond or whatever it might be. So what - you have a free report with repeating number sequences and you define triple numbers from 0s to 999, and all the things in between. So - well tell us about that report, first of all. What's all in that? Laurra: Well it is a little bit of a just kind of history of kind of like we've talked of here, of how kind of it came to be for me, but just a little bit more expansion on each of the numbers and it's the, What do they mean for me? What am I supposed to do next? And so, it is validation. Yeah, you are supposed to do something next. And maybe it's going to that workshop that you - What happens is, we shut down so many good things and I think of the repeating numbers are there to, Hey wait a minute! Stop. That was important! Slade: Yeah. Laurra: Like you said, it kind of gets bookmarked. Like, let's go back to that. For example, you saw an advertisement for some type of a workshop. Oh, that would be really cool to attend. That'd be great. And then all of a sudden, reality, the I can't afford that, I can't get away from home, I couldn't take off of work, and you shut it down right away. And I think sometimes it's like, Wait a minute! Stop! That was the path right here. Go to the workshop. Follow that path. So that's part of it. But just to kind of also, validation that they're pointing you in a direction. They're pointing you in a better direction. A good direction. And just, it's like, Okay, time to wake up here. Slade: Do you have meanings for individual numbers in there? Like if somebody is seeing 444 and they want to know what that means, do you have sort of like a dictionary of meanings for those numbers? Laurra: Yes, I do. I have a short summary on each of the main numbers. I don't go into too much very specific number patterns, but for 111, 222, 333, all the way through 000, I have all of those and 11:11. So each has a nice little summary paragraph so that you can just kind of get acquainted with the energetic vibration of each number and like, Okay what area is this really connecting with? Alright, this is guidance and reassurance. Or this is just a big YES energy. So that you can kind of use that and apply it to what you were thinking about shortly before you saw them. Slade: How did you go about discovering the meanings for those numbers? Is it something that you researched and compiled, is it channeled information? Where did you get the meanings? Laurra: A lot of it was just either my own intuition or my own channeling that I did. To just get some of the basics down and if I were to go and do them over, which I think I probably need to, I think just having this many years of understanding, I think would just kind of add a little deeper perspective to what I've already come up with. Slade: Interesting. Well that's cool because then that means your resource is an additional set of wisdom. It's not just, you know, some - regurgitating something somebody else has already said about it. I mean, I know some of the big ones will probably have very similar meanings for whatever, but I like the fact that you're offering an additional YOUR version, your take on these, so that it's something if you're interested in this phenomenon, you can add that resource to all the stuff that you're collecting and bookmarking. Because I know I have a page of notes linking to different things that talk about this and discuss it. And I think one of the things that's kept me from building more resources around it is because I really would have to go in and reveal those meanings for myself. There's two different ways you can approach that project. You could research and compile something, just like someone might do around color psychology. Or there is this other approach where you can actually add something to the canon, so to speak. And that sounds a little daunting to me. And I'm kind of a procrastinator about things that are daunting. But anyway, I'm very fascinated with this subject and I definitely wanted to hear what you had to share about it. I'm interested in something else and I know people are going to notice this about you when they see your name in the title of the blog post, and on the podcast episode. You spell Laurra with two Rs, and that was a conscious decision. You actually changed the spelling of your name for an energetic numerological kind of reason, correct? Laurra: Yes, that is correct. Slade: Tell me about that. Laurra: When I was studying numerology and astrology, you're talking about some numbers are fortunate, some numbers are not fortunate. I had a name reading done, and it really wasn't coming up to a fortunate number and so this was one of the recommended numbers or vibrations here adding this extra letter in. There's different ways you can do it, but this was like, Okay. So it was really trying it out. Because for anybody who's kind of thought, either they don't like their name or they just want it to resonate to a higher vibration or more fortunate vibration, like, Oh... and I'm sure if you've been anywhere around any, you know, there's a lot of people that have done this, and I guess I will say, even after this long, I'm, it's still difficult to step in to it. When you are looking at changing the spelling of your name, there's different levels of it. One would be changing it on your Facebook page, changing it on your website. And then there's another level which would be changing it on your bills, your chequing accounts, the way you sign things. And then another level of it would be actually going so far as to change birth certificate information. And to be fully stepping into that number and for me, I've only gotten to a certain point of being able to do that and it's interesting. So am I going to say it's like, Oh this is perfect! Everybody should go do this! No. I think it's something to be really thought through as to whether or not you want to go that path. I think it's perfect for some people. And some people can embrace it immediately and then there's others probably more like me that's like, Hmm, got a few reservations. Not so sure. What am I missing? Am I not seeing this the way I should... Maybe I should be seeing this on a bigger picture? So I don't know if that helps anybody down the way. Take your time with it. If you're thinking about doing it, take your time with it. And one piece I will add in: if you're looking at traditional Western numerology, there's Chaldean numerology as well. When I was doing this, it was using Chaldean numerology and I'll let you look that up. There are differences in how things are calculated. So I think if you're considering doing it, that you are very sure of which avenue you are going down and why. And that's one of the things that can just help you step in to it if you do decide to change the spelling of your name. Slade: I think you could also think of this as your sort of pen name. Right? Like, there are a lot of people who use a different author name. There are people who use a different name for their spiritual practice than maybe what they do in their everyday lives. And there's lots of different reasons around that. Laurra: Yup. Slade: And something people ask me about a lot is, Well is that inauthentic in some way? Is that, kill the energy, for you to "use" a different name. And I actually think what you're talking about doing could be combined with the idea of choosing a name for yourself that represents this new path, or that represents this side of you, you know? Because I have a lot of other sides. I don't walk around all day long living and breathing intuition. It's partly my career and I'd like to think it's part of my Purpose to be doing this. But there are lots of other parts of my personality where I'm not necessarily that person all the time. Laurra: Yup. Slade: And I was even thinking as you were talking about how you were using it for yourself personally, I was thinking, Well it sort of represents you in this mode, right? Laurra: Right. Slade: Like it could still be something - it's like a special costume that you wear, or a piece of jewelry that brings you power, or I think that maybe that would be an in-between way of approaching it. Maybe you don't change your legal name but maybe it becomes part of the decision around who am I going to be in this new aspect of my life, and what do I want to present? I know people who've entirely changed their name as a part of a sort of willful change of their persona and who they are and how they see themselves. Laurra: Yup. Slade: So I think that could be an empowering part of it. And you could also get a name reading done if you're in that process and see where is it fallen out and maybe that will help you make a decision about a name that you're considering using. Laurra: Yeah. I have seen quite a few that maybe they've even dropped their last name and used a different last name as, like you said, a pen name in essence. But yeah, it becomes the persona. This is part of me in the business, and this is what I'm portraying. I remember listening to a video of somebody who used a pair of glasses, special pair of glasses, and when they put the glasses on, that was their persona. And you know, they took on that role that they had developed of, Okay, when I put these glasses on, it represents me in this business mode. It was very interesting. Slade: Oh, I love that. I have a friend who wears a tiara while she does her make up. Laurra: Oh I love that! Slade: It's kind of a similar concept. But yeah, like putting on this special aspect of yourself. Yeah, I like those kind of spells. I think that's very powerful personal magic to dabble in. So what's next for you? Do you have any special projects that you'd like to do? Laurra: Well, I guess if I say it out loud, it must mean it's real! I am looking into - I'm getting just the very basics of getting started doing a podcast and so I'm just, like I said, in the beginning stages of that. But you know, now that I've publicly announced that, I guess I've made it real. And I guess I will be continuing on ahead with that. Slade: Well that explains why I was compelled to invite you then! Laurra: Exactly. Slade: You were drafted by the Universe. I guess my email must've been, had a lot more weight to it than I realized. When I sent you that you were probably thinking, Oh no, they know about the podcast! Laurra: It really was. Slade: They're gonna make me do it now! Listen, Laurra, it's been such a pleasure catching up with you and I would love to talk to you again and do more podcasting with you in the future. But tell everyone where they can go to find you online. Laurra: Okay so my website is intuitivejournal.com and yeah, if you head on over there, I have a free report on Repeating Numbers. And just kind of get you going, get you on the path and you can read a little bit more about me and the journey and everything. That would be the best place to start. Slade: That's terrific, Laurra. Thank you for coming on the show. Laurra: You are welcome. Thank you so much for having me. It's been awesome connecting with you again, Slade. OUTRO Thanks again for listening to the Shift Your Spirits podcast. For show notes, links, transcripts and all the past episodes please visit shiftyourspirits.com You can subscribe in iTunes or Stitcher or whatever app you use to access podcasts. If you’d like to get an intuitive reading with me, or download a free ebook and meditation to help you connect with your guides please go to sladeroberson.com and if you’re interested in my professional intuitive training program, you can start the course for free by downloading the Attunement at automaticintuition.com BEFORE I GO I promised to leave you a message in answer to a question or a concern you may have. So take a moment to think about that — hold it in your mind or speak it out loud. I’ll pause for just a few seconds….right…now. 1…2…3…4 MESSAGE Give up. Anger jealousy what people think. Just stop trying to control the universe. It’s like trying to grab a fish under water. Surrender detach. It’s nice - calm powerful serene - not to care in that desperate grasping way. It doesn’t mean you can’t do all the things you want to do - but let them come to you. You cannot miss what is yours, what is truly meant for you will find you. And I’ll talk to you later.

37: RULE #1 - They Come To YOU...

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2017 21:33

My name is Steve Larson and welcome to Secret MLM Hacks Radio. I'm a goofball at heart. I'm a kid at heart and I will always be that way. Hey, hope you guys are doing fantastic. Hope you're crushing the week. Hope everything is going great for you right now. Hey, so I just finished something and I think you'll be interested in. I have talked about it previously in a previous episode. I wanted to tell you that my version of it is done and it's exciting. It's so cool. I am not here to pitch anyone. That's not the purpose of this podcast. The purpose of this podcast is for me to show you what I've been doing so you can do it in your own; your own MLM. If you want to join, awesome. If you wanna stay in what you're doing, awesome. I don't care. I'm just bringing that because it's an elephant in the room sometimes when you're talking to other MLM-ers so I'm just bringing it up. I don't care whether or not you join. This is not a pitch fest. What this is, is it's me feeling a slight obligation to showing you what it is that I've been doing for the last little while, because it's working very well. So, that's what this whole thing is about. What I wanted to show you is how I get people to apply to join my down line. You should have little bombs dropping in your head right now. This is insane. In other coaching programs ... Like I have other coaching programs that I do, you know, that I charge money for to look at people's internet sales funnels. Right? The way that they sell stuff. I go through and I critique them with them. There's so many requests I have now to build them, that I actually don't. I just go for straight coaching and I teach people. It's been a lot of fun. I've had a lot of great success stories, helped a lot of businesses. It's been great. I'm also, what's called, a 'two comma club' coach. Two commas meaning million dollars. Meaning I coach people how to go from zero to seven figures. It's a lot of fun. This is a strategy that we use in many different scenarios, in many different industries. Okay? The strategy is that you, rather than go to somebody ... Yeah, okay. We'll go it this way. Rather than go to somebody and say, "Hey, will you buy my thing?" Instead, what we get people to do is we get people to turn and ask us to buy it from us by applying to buy it. Does that make sense? It's the craziest thing. It flips the entire sale on the head. It keeps you from begging people to ... Anyway. There are many people using this right now that are making many millions of dollars per year using it. It's crazy. It's amazing what it does for people. Here's how it works. Let's think about this with MLM. Let's say that you go and you are teaching people all about your MLM and it's awesome. You get down to that really awkward point where you start to transition into pitching. You know, it's the spot where everyone gets awkward in usually. You start pitching people to join your down line. What are you doing? You are asking people to do something they were not thinking about doing that day. Now that's fine. That works. That was my job at door to door sales. When you do that to someone like a friend or a family member, that's when crap gets awkward because they were not inviting you to pitch them. Does that make sense? That's why it gets weird. That's why it gets weird. It's a status protection play. They wanna make sure they're protecting their own status. And again, not in a bad way as in like, "Oh I'm so good," or whatever, but that's not it at all. They're just trying to make sure their own status is covered because they're like, "I don't know. Can you handle this? Have you been doing well? Am I your first person? Has other people joined? What's the comp plan like? How many people do I have to recruit to actually make a difference in my income?" You know what I mean? Those are all the fear questions that pop up inside someone's head when you start to pitch them. So what we do is I flip it. We turn it on its head and instead of you going to them and saying, "Hey ... Instead of you going to them and saying, "Hey join my thing," instead what we do is we flip it and we say, "Why should I let you join my thing?" What? It's crazy, but that's how it works. So we switch the whole thing and say, "Why should we let you into our world?" Basically it's hilarious that it works because you're saying, "Why should I let you pay me your money," but it works. It works very well. If someone has to apply for something ... You do the same thing if you go to college. Right? If you went to college, it's ... When I went to college I paid to apply to pay them tuition. Same concept. How do you get someone to do that, because that's kind of intense? So the way that we do it ... Now this is usually really cold traffic, like someone who has no idea who you are, usually that doesn't work very well for them. You gotta have things before they apply for you, you know apply to you, in order to kind of warm them up so that they answer the other questions, which is like, "Who are yeah?" You know. "Do I trust you? Do you seem shady?" You know what I mean? They wanna see who you are. So I use this funnel, the sales funnel, this application funnel. I use it online mostly to my hot and my warm traffic list. Now you guys all have hot and warm markets that's ... and you all have hot and warm traffic and you know usually in the form of family members and friends. I don't pitch family members and friends. You know most of them don't even know that I'm doing this. Only the people that have asked, right, know that I'm doing this stuff. Or people who've ... Family, immediate or extended, who've stumbled on my podcast will talk to me about that kind of stuff, but I don't tell any of them about it. None of them have any idea what I do. None of them. They don't know at all what I do, and I do that on purpose, because the first time I join and MLM they all knew, because I was that guy and I hated that. I was becoming that guy at family reunions and stuff. So what I do is I first go get results for somebody else. That's huge. That might mean that you go work for free. In fact, it probably will. If you've never gotten results for someone else before ever, you're gonna have some issues. Okay? Then what I do is I document those stories of those individual people and I litter those video testimonials all over the front page and I tell what's called my origin story. My origin story is all about me telling the story about how I got into the thing I'm doing. "Steve Larson, how did you get into this MLM thing?" Well and I've told you that before. There's a reason that was my episode number 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. I went through five different stories that I went through to help you continue to break and rebuild your own belief patterns about MLM. Those stories were very crafted very on purpose; those first five episodes of this podcast. Those are the stories that I tell when I'm in my application funnel. Does that make sense? That's the very first thing. So first, there's the story of me. You know I'm telling people, "Hey look, you know here's how to get into this thing and why I'm so passionate about it." It has to be highly emotional. Not that you're trying to trick people or be sneaky or whatever it is, but have you ever been in a movie and you walked out and thought "That was a dumb movie." That's because there's no emotion. There's no conflict. It was all action. There's no ups and downs, pauses, and speed forwards. There's none of that stuff. There's an art to storytelling, so figure out how to tell your story. Why are you doing MLM? Ask yourself that. Why are you doing this? Do you wanna be doing it? Someone pull you into it? You trying to make passive income? What is it? After you figure out what the reason is, what's the real reason? Dive deeper. Does that make sense? So, that's the first ... it's a video of me telling that story. When they opt in, in order to apply on the second page what I do with them is I have them fill out an application form. It's an actual application. It's on the right side of the page. They're filling out the application. On the left side of the page I just have a huge string of very nice testimonials people have shot about working with me, and the program, and things like that. It's like 15 minutes of just constant videos, and testimonials, and other cool stories and things like that. It's awesome. Anyway, you guys will see it. It's really cool. On the right side though is an actual application. What I do is I ask questions like, "Look, I'm really looking for the top marketers. Not just MLM-ers. I'm looking for marketers. Are you a marketer? What's your plan to promote this if you get accepted?" Right? That's ridiculous. That's huge to even ask something like that. "What's your plan to be able to ... Are you gonna spend money on ads?" You know that's gonna affect your ability to get in at all. I just need to know. Who's actually gonna be spending the ads? Who's actually gonna be spending the money? "How many people have you recruited in the past? How many opportunities have you jumped around through in the past?" It goes through somewhat of a history and it's to do two things. It's kind of meant to rub a little bit of salt on the wound to help them realize what they have had to go through to get there. Sometimes those are painful memories and experiences. Then the other I'm trying to do is I'm trying to get them to tell me why I should accept them. I want fighters. I want competitors. I don't want the person who needs the opportunity. Oh they need this opportunity and this life. If they need the opportunity I already don't want them. It's not that I'm being mean, but the reason I don't want them is because they don't want it. Does that make sense? If they need the opportunity and want it, sure. Then I'll join them or you know I'll get them in and that's awesome. I am not in the business of begging and I am not in the business of hand holding so much so that I have to actually get someone to have passion. I hand hold all my people, but it's because they already want it and they've been pushing for it. I can see that they do things on their own and they're not looking to me solely. I give them the systems. I teach them how to use the systems and it's awesome. I get a great relationship with my people and it's so fun. I really, really enjoy it. I have a lot of projects in my life. I don't need a person as a project. Does that make sense? I want people to be part of my one project. Does that make sense? So anyways I have people apply and it's cool to see live ones coming in right now. Then on the third page, what I do is I say, "You know what? Your application is in the order that we're getting them and in MLM order does matter, because there could be a lot of people behind you who are applying right now. There's a lot of people ahead of you. So if you wanna skip the line, just go ahead and call us." Now I do not put scheduling software on there. That always kills conversions anytime we've ever done that in any market. We did this for a visa service. Like visas coming into America. It was really interesting. We've done it for a lot of stuff and they work. It's great. If you put a scheduling software on that third page, or in that third step, or anywhere in your process, whatever you're doing, it won't work very well. You need to give them the option to call you. Then what would we do is we would just put a sales person on the end who used what we called the four question close. They just call and it's very, very, very low pressure. That is one of the biggest keys to this whole thing. That's one of the easiest ways to find people who are serious, is that you can't have pressure. Okay? So that's how the structure looks of the entire thing. Number one, an origin story about how I got in there. Number two, lots of testimonials while they fill out the application. Number three, I invite them to call me so they can get out of the line and skip and actually get in. So how do I get someone to really do that though? What I do is I take my MLM and I make an offer out of it. How many MLM down lines could you go join right now? Tons. There's no difference between any of us, if you leave it that way. So one of my specialties and my actual job is offer creation. I go create offers. Well a product is not an offer. A service is not an offer, by itself. Does that make sense? It may not at first, let me just keep talking here. If you're just asking me to join your down line, that's not an offer. Offers makes you someone unique. Offers create scarcity and urgency. Okay? Offers get someone else excited about what it is you're doing, because they realize that you're the only one that's actually doing that? Does that make sense? So here's what I do is I take my MLM and then I see what other things I can stack on there to make the act of joining my MLM attractive and unique again. Okay? If you're in an industry at all ... Let's say you have normal 9 to 5 job still, or something like that. If you're in industry at all and other people are doing the exact same thing that your company is, how you gonna do? Competition is great, but if you're selling the same thing, I'm saying the same exact thing as your competitor, how you gonna do? It's gonna suck. Right? A lot of the market is going to be going back and forth. There's gonna be a lot of questions. There's gonna be no tribe building in your area, because someone is doing the exact same thing over there. So what I do is I make the act of joining my down line into an offer. I turn it into and offer and so I remind them that like, "Look if you join my down line, I'm gonna give you all of my automated recruiting systems. Okay? If you join my down line, I'm giving you all my story telling scripts that are not high pressure. Right? If you join my down line, I'll go and I'll give you more of my traffic secrets training." Does that make sense? How to actually get traffic, things like that. "If you join my down line, I'm gonna give you some ..." I haven't told anyone this yet, but there's a piece of software I'm trying to create to help people as well. "I'll teach you how to attract people to you, both you as a person and little mini products that you create in front of your MLM to pull people to you for free. By the way I'll teach you how to get them to pay you for paid prospecting. I'll teach you how to auto-close. I'll teach you how to down line management, the only strategy I know where everyone gets paid anytime anyone gets recruited. You don't have to play favorites anymore when you recruit people." Does that make sense? Those are the things that I do on the front page and I remind them like, "Look, if you apply to join and you actually get in, you're not just getting my down line. You're getting all these other things to help you be successful." The biggest question people have when they're gonna join a down line is, "Where am I gonna find people? Where are my leads gonna come from? I don't wanna talk to friends and family." And so what I've dedicated the last like several years to is answering that question. Solving that problem so that when people do join the down line, I have the answer. I launch the beta of it a year ago. It's actually over a year ago and it's freaking awesome and it worked so well. It's so awesome and it works. It's cool. Like oh my gosh. So I've been teaching others how to do it. I've got my own little beta group that's been going through it and it's been a lot of fun. So anyway, if you wanna check it out, you can. What I ask is that you don't put your email in unless you're actually applying to join my down line. Does that make sense? And that is where I'm telling you right now, that I am not here to pitch you and I am not here to ask you to come in. I'm not. Look, part of my strategy with this podcast, with this whole thing, is for me to remain somewhat third party. Okay? I'm not here ... This podcast is all about me showing you and telling you what I'm doing. This is not where I'm here to just pitch you like crazy. That's not what this is about. I'm not doing this. I'm not gonna do that at all. So if you go to JoinMyDownLine.com, which by the way I can't believe that was available. That's like the biggest over site in the whole industry. JoinMyDownLine.com is the example. It's the actual thing that I use to get people to join and actually apply to get in. Please don't go past the first page. Again I'm telling you so that you can go see what I'm doing. If you wanna see what my origin story is. If you opt in, there will be a little bit of a series that comes to you; a really cool course. That's kind of an extra course not many have seen. It's just for those who are applying that help people. It's called the MLM Primer. It comes to them for free for like five days and then there's a whole bunch of really cool stories with it. Anyway, the reason why I'm telling you is so that you can model the same thing in your own MLM. It's not so ... So I mean if you go through the entire application process, I will ... Number one, your application, your name will show up on the front page, which is awesome. You'll see the live feed updates every five minutes. It just shows your first name to prove to people that it's not dead. You know what I mean? This version of it is brand new launched and that feed thing is brand new launched, so there might not be ... there's not gonna be as many people ... I just got an email from a dude asking to bring in 200 people. Anyway, that kind of stuff happens all the time and so I'm just saying that live feed does not directly reflect the only source of people coming in. Anyway, if you want to see it, meaning how I'm doing it, go for it. I'm asking you not to go through the entire thing, you know, unless you're actually applying. I thought I'd bring all that out though, because I can't not do it. It's the elephant in the room with this thing, is that people have asked like, "You just do this podcast to recruit tons of people?" No, I'm actually trying to build a tribe and a movement. I wanna fix some of the crappy parts of MLM. I'm very passionate about it. It ticks me off that the strategies are still stuck in the 90's. How on Earth am I the only one using a sales funnel in the whole industry? How on Earth are no up lines teaching this kind of stuff to their down lines? You know what I mean? That's the kind of stuff that kind of makes me a little bit mad. It's like, "Holy smokes, while the companies have evolved, the strategies have not." That's like us going to war and using Civil War, stand in front of the other person in a straight line, tactics. That's dumb. So anyway, I'm very passionate about it as you can tell as I just ... That's what this whole thing is about. So if you want to see it, like I said, don't go through the whole thing unless you are literally applying to do so, but you can definitely go check out the front page. You can watch my real story of how I got into this whole thing. You can see cool testimonials of other people. You can see the live feed thing that I'm talking about. This big project, this version of it, took me a little while to finish it up, but that's partly what I've been doing the last few weeks here also. Anyway, you guys are awesome. Appreciate yeah. Figure out a way to flip the tides. If you're like, "There's no way someone will apply to join my down line," well the reason why is because you've gotten results for nobody yet. That make sense? So get results for someone. Go help someone. Work for free. Pump value into the market and then the market will tell you, "Oh yeah here's a cool testimonial," in the form of a person giving it to you. They'll give you a testimonial and you'll be worth so much more, because people will see that you're actually worth stuff. It's way, way worse for you to just walk out and go, "I'm the man. Trust me. I'm the man." You know what I mean? That's what that is. Instead, show people. Go get the actual results and work for people and help them get results. Put that video up there. If people don't wanna join your down line, it's because you haven't answered those questions yet. It's because you haven't proven that you're good. Anyway, that's all I've got for you guys. That was way longer than I anticipated it to be, but if you wanna check it out you can. It's JoinMyDownLine.com and that's how I'm pulling it off. Figure out how you wanna pull it off on your own. Again, I'm asking you not to apply there fully unless you're actually applying. You're all awesome and go crush it. Hope what you're doing in your MLM is awesome, super fun, that it's effective. You feel like it's worth your time; what it is you're actually doing. Yeah, go crush it guys. Talk to you later. Hey thanks for listening. Please remember to subscribe and leave feedback. Would you like me to teach your own down line five simple MLM recruiting tips for free? If so, go download you're free MLM Masters Pack by subscribing to this podcast at Secret MLMHacksRadio.com.

Episode 142 - Cyberbullying ENDS TONIGHT

TwoHandsomeMen

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2017 92:01

Okay I'm finally caught up. In this episode that I did not participate in or watch we probably see the OneHandsomeMan crew end the cyberbullying epidemic with one well placed tweet to the official BurgerKing twitter probably. I didn't watch it, so I don't know for sure but it sounds plausible enough so w/e.

burger king okay i'm

27: By Application Only...

Daydream Instruction Manual

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2017 16:25

What's going on everyone. This is Steve Larsen and you're listening to Secret MLM Hacks Radio. So here's the real mystery. How do real MLMers like us, who didn't cheat and only bug family members and friends, who want to grow a profitable home business ... How do we recruit A players into our down lines that create extra incomes, yet still have plenty of time for the rest of our lives? That's the blaring question and this podcast will give you the answer. My name is Steve Larsen and welcome to Secret MLM Hacks Radio. What's up everyone. Hey, I'm super excited for this episode. I got something really cool to share with you. This is Secret MLM Hacks Radio. So, today I want to share with you a hack. This is something that I have been doing that is ... honestly, it's all around us and I just don't think many MLMers think about it. So I want to share with you something really cool. First off though, I ... You guys gotta know I barely graduated high school. That's not a joke. I got straight D's in all of math, all of science, all especially of Spanish, all of ... I mean, I really, and a lot of times it was like I got a 60.1 percent. I'm pretty sure that some of the teachers a lot of times just felt bad for me so they would just not, I don't know, they would just let me go on. You know what I mean? I showed up. I was there. I was consistent. I just never did homework or if I did it was just always wrong. There was something in my head that just did not click on for a long time. I had not learned how to learn. You know what I mean? So when I get to the end of my senior year and it's time to go to college, I had been applying and these colleges are like yes, no, no, yes, no, no. It's more like one said yes and all the others said no. But it's pretty fascinating to watch the application process of these colleges or any kind of institute. Let's say you're applying for health insurance or life insurance. Or your applying for to get into some program. You know what I mean? It's fascinating because I would sit there and I would write out these applications. And I didn't really want to go to college at that time. I'm grateful that I did. I'm grateful that eventually I learned how to learn. I ended up getting straight A's, which is awesome. I got one of the entrepreneurship awards from Hale graduating class which is awesome in college which is super exciting. So that was fun stuff, but I had to learn how to learn, which is it's own skill. I just kind of have never stopped since then. Anyway, about the application stuff though. It's fascinating to watch the process that they go through. Often times, there is an application fee. So you go and you're filling out this application and you're showing them what you've written to everybody, and everyone's critiquing your essay that you have to apply with it and everyone's critiquing this and that and they're ... you know what I mean? There's so much stuff that goes into a single application. Right? And you sit back and you're like, "Dang. My Gosh. I just spent like a week just putting together this application." And they wanted a fee, and they wanted this, and they're not gonna get back to me for a solid while. And I don't even know if I got in. And there's no implication yet if I actually got in at all. And I'm like, "Dang. That's pretty crazy." You know, when you think about that. And so you sat back and you think about it. And you think about it. And you think about it, kind of think of it cynically almost like man your convincing somebody why they should take your money. That's basically it. I'm glad that I went to college. I will tell you that even though I got a marketing degree, none of what I learned do I actually do. There ... what I learned at college pretty much was to prepare me to become like an analyst at a corporate marketing firm. You know what I mean? And I don't do any of that kind of stuff, which hopefully helps some people who think that they need a marketing degree to do what I do. It certainly gave me an environment to learn, however, I mostly am self taught. So, anyway ... But back to the application. You think about that. You are convincing the other person why they should be allowed to take your money. You're like, "What?! That's crazy!" It's a commitment. You're gonna be there what? Like only 60 percent of people even finish college. So these guys are banking some serious money they don't even have to dish out the final thing to you after a while. You know what I mean? And I'm not bagging on the education system. I'm just using it as an example. Think about that though. Let's think about how we could model that whole process inside of an MLM 'cause that's what I've been doing. That's what I've been putting together more formally. I've had one kind of informally for while but as far as formally though, I've been building out what we call an "application funnel", an application styled sales funnel. Where somebody has to prove to me why they should be admitted into my program. And typically what we'll do is we'll use these funnels for like high end coaching programs where someone's charging 10 grand or 25 grand, or whatever, 50 grand. And the person is trying to convince the coach why they should be allowed into the program. Right? You're like, "Whoa! Wait a second. That is literally spinning on it's head the whole sales model. You mean I don't have to know any hardcore sales tactics?" Nope. "You mean, I don't have to know tricky little one sentence things to say or little tiny body language things to get them to go crazy and join," It always drives me nuts when other people post that kind of stuff in the MLM word. Five techniques, five things you should say to get them begging to join or something like that. It was like, come on, that doesn't really, you know ... How 'bout we actually give real value? You know what I mean? So, that's what I've been doing is ...there's page number one, web page number one. It goes through and says, "Look. I'm only looking for the best of the best elite marketers. If you think that you can, if you want this group, if you want to be part of my down line which is this group of elitists. We're very open, very loving, very ... it's not that we're judging anybody or anything like that. But there is an application to join my down line. You know what I mean?" And so I have a spot where people can do that. And they go through and it says "Number one. Hey, let me know. If anything you can just fill out the application and then let's get on the phone and see if you're an actually good fit. And be aware, we do actually turn people away." And so they put their name and their email and phone number in. And on the very next page it says, "Hey. Why do you think you should be considered?" Another question is like, "Hey. Steve Larsen's crazy busy. What do you think you can offer? We believe in give and take, we'd love to be able to give you all the stuff. But we also need to know what you could bring to the team. What is it you bring?" Obviously the questions are worded much better than this. I'm just ad libbing the ones that I'm remembering. But you know what I mean? It says, "Hey. Obviously there's a financial commitment to join the MLM. It does not go to Steven Larsen. It goes to the MLM to actually set up your actual entity with them and get your position. Are you okay with that?" You know what I mean? It's stuff like that. But there's an application that's eight or nine questions that you go through that helps me see where you are before you join. Isn't that interesting? And it's a totally different set of approach, a completely different kind of approach than what my MLM the first time ever, ever showed, ever. At first, it's like this hard core. It's not that the other tactics of getting on the phone and asking people to join don't work, it's that it takes for freaking ever, there's usually a lot more heartache. I lose more friends doing that. I don't lose any this way. And I attract a kind of person, when they apply, that's awesome. You know? The kind of people who are solving problems in my team that I didn't know that they were there. You know what I mean? When you go out and you find a team like that. Then I turn around and I give that whole system that actual application style system to my down line. So think about that. I'm not pitching you on joining. I want you to know what I do. I want to flip it on it's head. So page number one. Right? Hey, this is only for the elite of the elite. But if you think that you're a marketer that wants to join us just know there's applications out for 'em. Go to step two here and they put in their email address. Step two, the next page, is a video and there's an extra application form next to it. And then the third page, after they actually submit the application, it is a form that says, "Look. Obviously positioning does matter inside of MLM to an extent. You know what I mean? I know a lot of people join what I do and it's great it's fun. I really, really, I like it. So first come first serve is a huge deal." This is pretty much what the page says. And it says, "So, if you're really interested and want to skip the line because we just call people down the line as we get applications. We get several a day. So if you want to skip the line. Go head. Heres the phone number, just call us." And I'll tell you that the people that who call you, there worth like eight times more than the kind of person that you need to call out for. It puts the sales power back in your hands. Not that you're trying to be domineering again or anything like that. But that's the application style funnel that I put inside there. And there's email automation and there's full sequences in the back. And there's all the super sexy stuff, which is amazing, that happens on behind the scenes as well, which is really, really cool. It's just, you gotta understand that you're nothing new at first out of the gate compared to everybody else. But man if you're telling 'em that you can't join unless you apply and when you do apply, you get X,Y, and Z. And I actually created an offer out of applying. Holy Crap, that's sexy. So start thinking how you can use that inside your MLM. Start thinking about how you can, what can you do to make ... I think it was last episode, I talked about scarcity and the different mental triggers that are out there. I think that was last episode. But anyway, start thinking about what ... start thinking about what you can do to inject ... That's one of the ways that I inject scarcity, and community, and authority right into my down line. So start thinking about that. It's like, you know ... What kind of person do I actually want to join my down line? Where do I want them to be in their life? What problem sets do I want them to be addressing in their life at that time? If their problem set is that they can't rub two pennies together, they're not probably ready for what I've got. It's not that they can't be successful, but the road is longer. I'm not really looking for that kind of person. I'm looking for the kind of person who is out there, who wants to be successful with this marketing, who is interested in putting together marketing systems that amplify their MLM. Right? Who actually ... you know what I'm saying? And when you do it that way and you approach it that way and you start getting really, really clear on who it is that you want, you'll start attracting those people. And one of the ways that I do it is by making people apply. I want the kind of people who are fighting to join me. Does that make sense? And if somebody I can tell is fighting, but maybe they don't have a lot of experience, that's okay. Then I'll let 'em join. If someones like, "Hey. I don't have this experience. I don't have this or this or you know, I really am broke or whatever, but I've got passion out the wazoo." That's the kind of person I want. And I want to be able to vet that person out of the rest of the crowd. Does that make sense? One of the other things that I've been doing ... So, that's what I do. Then we get 'em closed up and we get 'em the marketing systems that they need. Then get 'em started in the success paths that I have. I've got little blueprints and stuff like that. And that's how I on board people. It's totally different than what my MLM provides, totally different than what any MLM provides. So, that's how I do it though. What MLM makes you apply to join? They're not that way at all. They're all like, they're so open that they end up being exclusive, excluding, sorry, they exclude people. Right? And so instead, what I do is I actually intentionally do that and I make people apply. One of the things that I been doing is ... I'm trying to figure out right now. 'Cause I'm building out the more official version of this application styled sales funnel. But what I've been doing is when someone actually joins, I'm gonna take that data, which is gonna be so cool, and I'll put it on a google sheet. That way people can see live ... just the first name. I'm not gonna give out any personal details obviously. But I'm thinking what I'll do is I'll embed in like a little window on the page, a google sheet. And you'll be able to see the people who have been applying and those who have been accepted and brought in. And obviously, again, there's gonna be no personal data or anything like that shown in there. But how cool to be social proof. Right? That's why I'm doing it. So that you can see how close you are to the top. So you can see how fast it's growing. So you can see how fast ... Does that make sense? And it causes this ridiculous frenzy like, "Oh my Gosh! That's so freaking cool!" You know what I mean? I'm not gonna tell you the MLM ... sorry, I'm not gonna tell you the URL to it yet. Just in case you guys want to go check it out, again, I am not pitching. If you love your MLM, my gosh, stay in it. Okay? I'm not hear to take sides, that's not at all what I do. I'm here to just share with you what we do inside other industries to make prices increases, to make anticipation go through the roof, to make people beg to join you. Does that make sense? That's why we do what we do and that's why I'm doing it right now. And that's why I'm sharing with you what I do 'cause it's super, it's crazy powerful. So, those are all tools and systems that I use as almost like a rewards system like, "Hey. When you join, have comfort in knowing that this system is also yours. You know what I mean? You don't have to go reinvent the wheel." You know what I mean? So that's how I create myself as a new ... that's one of the tons of ways that I create myself as kind of a new opportunity to MLMers. Otherwise, you're kind of the same as everybody else. You see what I'm saying? So, when they're applying, I'll go on through say like, "Hey. By the way, you're gonna get this. You're gonna get this. You're gonna get this. You're gonna get this, if you get accepted. And we truly do turn people away. So, go ahead and apply and then let's jump on the phone, or jump on the phone with one of my team leaders or whatever. And we'll answer any questions that you might have. And see if it's a good fit. If not, that okay and we'll give you like a little thank you also and stuff like that." Obviously be cordial about it. We're not saying like, "Get lost" or whatever. So that's what we do. That's what I do. That's what I've been building is the more official version of that. And trying to see if I can get this cool google sheet to get embedded so real time you can see the applications coming in. How cool is that? Oh my gosh. So, anyway that's what I've been doing guys and that's why I do it. I just kind of spin it on it's head and turn it into a marketing activity rather than a begging activity. That's what I felt like the first time I was calling people or I'd go ... I went down Main Street asking people to join. Whatever it was, it was such a ... if you had a heart beat, I was asking. I wasn't clear on who I wanted. And because I wasn't clear on who I wanted, it meant I was targeting nobody. You know what I mean? So I had to get real clear. Anyway, I feel like I'm just saying the same thing over and over again now. That's what I've been doing. Shortly here, when it's done, when a few of the things that I'm waiting for happen. Then, I'll tell you guys what that URL is just so you can see what it is. Again, I'm not .. Oh gosh, please just know that I am not here to pressure you at all. I just want to show you what it is that I'm doing, so that you can see it and you can model it on your own. Whatever that is. All right guys. Have fun the rest of this day. Go crush it. Go kill it. Remember if you do what is easy, you're life will be hard. It's a good quote. I got a big quote filled wall, so sometimes I just look up and say one of them. So that's one I just looked at. Okay. If you do what is easy, your life will be hard. Whoo! Hey, thanks for listening. Please remember to subscribe and leave feed back. Would you like me to teach your own down line five simple MLM recruiting tips for free? If so, go download your free MLM masters pack by subscribing to this podcast at SecretMLMHacksRadio.com

Episode 46 - Resident Evil: The Final Chapter

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2017 62:36

Our very own Josh AND new kid on the block Ali (accompanied by boyfriend Dustin) decided to view and RE-view (see what I did there?) Resident Evil: The Final Chapter! RE-live the terror and thrills as Josh, Ali, and Dustin RE-call their thoughts on the film! RE-member to subscribe, like and tell your friends about Daydream Instruction Manual!! Okay I'm done now. RE-ally I am.

okay i'm resident evil the final chapter daydream instruction manual

Insane Selfie Stick - The Ultimate For Mobile Photography

The Art of Photography

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2017

Okay I'm half serious here - this is the Stork Mach 1 - sister to the smaller Sparrow M1. While joking around with a friend I set out to build the ultimate selfie stick! Whether you're making photographs, video, live-streaming, light or dark, no matter what the climate. This thing has you covered. Parts List: Generic Tripod Mount for iPhone http://amzn.to/2igstBS MeFoto SideKick360 (small) http://amzn.to/2j36cZn MeFoto SideKick360 Plus (for larger phones) http://amzn.to/2iaQMD4 Friction Arm http://amzn.to/2jsgMWM K-Edge Camera Mount Adapter http://amzn.to/2jghmHM Aputure LED light http://amzn.to/2iaPFDf Tascam DR-10SG mic with internal recorder http://amzn.to/2jsj48l

photography photographers photography podcast okay i'm ted forbes photography videos

#96: Kicking Ass & Taking Names With Stacy A. Cross

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2016 57:01

#96: Kicking Ass & Taking Names With Stacy A. Cross Jenn T Grace: You are listening to the Personal Branding for the LGBTQ Professional Podcast, episode 96. Introduction: Welcome to the Personal Branding for the LGBTQ Professional Podcast; the podcast dedicated to helping LGBTQ professionals and business owners grow their business and careers through the power of leveraging their LGBTQ identities in their personal brand. You'll learn how to market your products and services both broadly, and within the LGBTQ community. You'll hear from incredible guests who are leveraging the power of their identity for good, as well as those who haven't yet started, and everyone in between. And now your host. She teaches straight people how to market to gay people, and gay people how to market themselves. Your professional lesbian, Jenn - with two N's - T Grace. Jenn T Grace: Hello and welcome to episode number 96 of the podcast. I am your host, Jenn T Grace, and as we near the end of October, as I promised I have another interview for you. Today's interview is with Stacy Cross, she is the founder of Comfort Killers, and this was probably one of the most high energy interviews that I have done in a very long time. So Stacy really got into a lot of mindset conversation, we talked a lot about personal branding, and how she has developed and created her personal brand over the last six months. You will walk away from this I believe inspired, but then also perhaps equally as exhausted because it was a really high energy conversation. So I really hope that you enjoy this. If you would like to see a transcript, or you would like links directly to anything that Stacy and I discussed, you can go to the blog at www.JennTGrace.com/96 for episode number 96. And if you would like to get in touch with Stacy or you have any n that you would like for me to hear, you can do so at pretty much Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn; all of those places I'm at Jenn T. Grace. Or if you'd like you can send me an email at Jenn@jenntgrace.com. Regardless of how you'd like to get in touch with me, please, please do. I’m happy to make an introduction to Stacy I'm happy to make, or if you just have general comments or feedback I always want to hear from you. It is never a wrong time to reach out so please, please do. And with that being said I'm going to cut the introduction short and get right into this conversation with Stacy. So let's just start from the top, and let everyone know who you are, where you're located, what you do, and how you got to this place in time. Stacy A Cross: What, where, when, and how. Jenn T Grace: You name it, all of it. Stacy A Cross: Well thank you so much for having me on your podcast. I appreciate it greatly. I am Stacy A. Cross, and there is no E in my name, and I am currently living in Philadelphia, moved here roughly about three and a half years ago, been here since, ready to be nimble again and move on. I move with opportunity. I am the owner and founder of the company The Comfort Killers, and I know it sounds negative Jenn, but in this case two negatives does equal a positive. The comfort- to me being comfortable is such a negative word, and of course killers is a negative word. But the comfort killers is what we do, and we provide products, and solution, and content, and services to those seeking success through personal development, and I've been living it so the value is in my experience. And that's who I am, my mission is huge, my mission in life is to teach millions how to get uncomfortable, to think better, to live better, and to act better. And that's who I am in just a nutshell. Jenn T Grace: I love it. So how did you get to the place where you decided that you were going to go with Comfort Killers? All possible negativity aside, what was the impetus to say it's comfort that really is what's getting in people's way? What was your kind of revelation around that word specifically? Stacy A Cross: Definitely, because I believe that tradition and conventional wisdom led us to this comfortable life, right? We want to go to high school, get that great diploma, then take that diploma, go to college, get another diploma, then go off into the workforce, then of course get the picket fence with the home, get the kids, get the dog, get the car, and go to a couple baby showers in between, and be happy with a few vacations. That's a comfortable life. I wasn't even at that comfort level, but the revelation, the 'aha' moment in my life was realizing that I want so much more, but I don't know how to attain it because going through this comfortable path, I've been just getting this same type of result, these same outcomes. So what is it going to take? So I look for inspiration and motivation outside of me at one time, this external. So I was going to a seminar and on Valentine's Day in 2016 I went to one seminar, pumped everyone else up, and for me I just wasn't getting pumped up. I wasn't feeling it. And I was like, 'But I'm a motivated person already.' And then I realized you know what? I'm going to walk out of this seminar. I'm going to take a step back and walk out and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I remember the day clearly because I did feel guilty about it, but I said, 'What can I do differently that I haven't been doing,' and that was one answer was get uncomfortable. Do what people won't do. Do the dirt, and that's what I've done, and I've built a company. So upon coming home from the seminar that day, I wrote so many articles, I created the company in one day. I started writing a Comfort Killers handbook which I finished in 24 hours, and then things just started happening, result-based things. And I realized, 'Wow doing the opposite of comfort really allowed me to grow in my space,' and I think more people should apply their lives to living an uncomfortable lifestyle. Jenn T Grace: Wow, I feel like you are saying so much with the time already, so we've been recording for like four minutes at this point. I feel like people can immediately get a sense of your energy level which is through the roof, and you're really motivated, and you're out to like kick ass and take names. Where do you see the direction and your ability to kind of be branding yourself with this? Because Comfort Killers is a really kind of perhaps polarizing type of statement for people who are stuck in their comfort zones. How are you finding other people who really just need maybe that kick in the ass to kind of get them going, or really have you be their personal motivator? Where are you finding those people? Are they reluctant to hear the phrase of 'Comfort Killer'? Do you find that you have to explain what comfort killing is? I know that's a lot of questions in one shot, but hit me. Stacy A Cross: I understand where you're going with this, and yes, in the beginning it was like, 'Okay well how am I going to explain this?' It's easy to naturally just say The Comfort Killers, I am Stacy Cross, and there is no 'E' in my name, but then there's got to be some explaining. Okay what is it that I really do? I want to motivate people, I want to teach people how to get uncomfortable. It's been a blessing so far where people are naturally drawn to this idea of change. They want to change, they're in a place that I could easily explain to them that I was in the same place, so it comes from my story, and what my story relates to is a sense of addiction. I was a gambler, I didn't even know it. Right? So I had to overcome that but thought I didn't want to go to an AA meeting, right? So- and I came from a place of procrastination. I've started and stopped so much times that it became known that if Stacy says something it's probably not going to be done. It takes a while to reverse that aspect. So when people arrive at my domain, when people arrive at my face, when people come to me or essentially I go to them, I have this big humongous story, this personal story that I've written that I believe is so relatable to any facet of anyone's life that's willing to change. But here's the deal, change doesn't come easily, right? The seeds have to be planted. So I only work with people that have planted these seeds and that are willing to take the next steps, because the next course of action definitely is an accountability action; you have to want it, you have to go for it. So how do I purposely drive myself to these people? I put it in my articles, my website, all that jazz. Or really when you're talking to me face-to-face, I don't give you back pats. I'm not in the game to make you feel good. Tony Robbins even turned me down from going to Business Mastery. He said I needed more credit. I understand it, here's the deal, I am not here to say everything that everyone already said, it's been said. If you could motivate yourself from that, that's fine, but the reason you came to me is because none of it worked. Jenn T Grace: I love all of that, and so I feel like it takes a really strong personality to be able to say, "Listen this is where I'm sharing my story, and it's not all roses. I was known for not actually following through with whatever it is." How are you leveraging that aspect in terms of maybe relating with the people that you're working with to say, "Listen you're coming from the same place that I came from, and now I'm going to be able to navigate you through this because I personally went through it." Because I think a lot of coaches out there, and strategists, and people who are counseling, and motivating; they don't have that real credible story behind them. Stacy A Cross: Right and I think it also goes with the niche. The people that I'm focused on are the people that- my story, right? So I say, okay if I had some addiction problem, I could probably help people overcome addiction let's say without taking more pills, without doing this, without going to AA meetings. I'm not giving health advice, I'm not trying to say, "Do this instead of doing this," I don't know their level of problems, but my goal is to leverage the motivation and the power within. I want to spark something inside that's already been there, but people- it's so filtered, the veil is over their face, they can't see. So when they come to me what I say is just the value is in my experience. And that hurt me for a while because you know I have friends that I've grown up with and I'm trying to tell them something, and I know that if Tony Robbins or Zig Zig or Jim Rohn, they tell them that same thing, they jump up. But since they know me, and since I'm their friend, they don't have that same type of action. And what I've done with that is just cut them off. So I'm known to cut people off, right if they're not on my same path. But in business when someone comes to me and they're not ready, I kind of cut them off. But here's the deal, I give them so much content, Jenn. I give so much free content through all my channels, and online, and I actually have my open calendar where people could click it and then call me for thirty minutes of call. So I'm willing to listen, I'm willing to see if the seeds are planted, and that's what's different than anyone else, where you could go to anyone else and they don't have that type of story. They're only really listening to your call and asking you for money at the end of it. Jenn T Grace: So how are you building your personal brand? Because like I said you already have such a distinctive personality, and a very motivating personality, you have a very kind of strong drawing the line in the sand way in which you communicate, which is 'I'm not pussyfooting around, I'm not going to deal with your bullshit. You're hiring me to help fix what hasn't worked for you.' And I know that you're saying that you're putting out a lot of content, so from a personal branding side of things, how has that process worked for you, and were you always kind of the- to some degree I guess in your face like no bullshit type of person? Or have you had to evolve that as you've been evolving kind of your personal brand? Stacy A Cross: The latter, I had to evolve that because I realized that time is limited, and I have to get a short sweet concise story. So what do I do to build my personal brand? In each of the avenues where you contact me in Twitter, in whatever the case may be, wherever you know about Stacy A. Cross, it's always Stacy A. Cross but there's no 'E' in my name. It's always that story that's driven behind it. So my idea is continue sharing the story but change the people, don't change the story. So it's cementing that story and confronting the realities of my story, which was the biggest part for me. Do I want to tell people I was addicted to gambling? Probably not, but it helps and it's a major part of my quest and my story. So with defining who I am, the brand Stacy A. Cross, and evolving into that, and it has taken awhile and it's shaped itself, and now I could say, 'Okay I'm ready to move to the next step as this brand, Stacy A. Cross.' Versus just as a company and the person behind the brand. Jenn T Grace: So now when you think about the long term- so you are Stacy A. Cross, with no 'E,' in addition to the found of Comfort Killers. Are you thinking long-term that it's important to you from a personal branding standpoint to really be focusing on building your name as a thought leader, as a content creator, as a content curator, and where does that leave Comfort Killers kind of in the wake of how quickly you're kind of moving through things right now? Stacy A Cross: That's a great question because sometimes I have to take a minute to strategize again, right? Because I want both to move simultaneously in the same direction, because without me there is no Comfort Killer. So how do I interject both the personal brand as well as that main scope of the company? And I believe that that's been the struggle, right? So I strategize probably once or twice a day if what I'm doing will outlive the Comfort Killers or will it move together symbiotically? And what I've found out is the easiest way for me to attack that is to keep tying in the value which is the experience within the company. So all my products, they range from me, they stem from me. I wish I had www.StacyACross.com and thought of that the minute I walked out of the seminar but I don't. I have The Comfort Killers because I had to get uncomfortable. So that- The Comfort Killers is Stacy essentially, and what I'm trying to do is move both together in alignment. Jenn T Grace: Interesting. Yeah I feel like there's all kinds of challenges- benefits and challenges that kind of come with all of what you're saying. Stacy A Cross: Yeah. Jenn T Grace: So as a just kind of side note, when I first was setting out to really actually define my personal brand, kind of put the stake in the ground of this is what I stand for, I was already doing what I was doing for years and years, and then finally I was like, well I just need to like really morph this into focusing on me as that personal brand and as that central point, regardless of what company, or contract, or wherever I'm working, and who I'm working for, or who's working with me, et cetera. When I decided that I was going to go for my name, the domain www.JennGrace.com just didn't exist which is why I ended up doing www.JennTGrace.com. It was not because I have any love for putting the T in, it was literally that the URL was not available. Stacy A Cross: Someone got uncomfortable before you did with www.JennGrace.com, they took it. Jenn T Grace: Yeah which is a bunch of bull. But so when you were looking for yours, was it because Stacy A. Cross didn't exist, or Stacy Cross, or some variation didn't exist that you just decided, 'I'm going to go with Comfort Killers.' Or was there some other factor that was involved in that decision? Stacy A Cross: And you know that's a good question. I did try to obtain Stacy Cross because that's my name, and of course that was gone to a photographer, which she's amazing, she does great work. And then but I always say she got uncomfortable before I did, and by the time I came around and got uncomfortable and said, 'You know what? I've got to build me up now,' Stacy A. Cross was available and I do own that domain. But here's the thing with The Comfort Killers, I always was kind of like I want this movement to take shape, but I want to be the leader of it, and I want to lead leaders, and I want to create more leaders. I don't need any followers. And so The Comfort Killers is such a tagline that will punch you in the face that says, 'Okay I want to be a comfort killer, how can I be down?' But now just transitioning into the Stacy A. Cross because people like my page more than they like The Comfort Killers' page, they identify with the person more than they identify with an entity. So now it's my calling to say how do I either tie the two in front, or just keep going with the tagline, but me being the first stop? And I understand that pivotal point that's going to come where it says Stacy A. Cross is bigger than The Comfort Killers. Jenn T Grace: Absolutely, that's kind of why I was asking thinking because you have a magnetic personality that people are going to be drawn to that, and it doesn't require explanation when someone’s introducing you, or you're being referred to somebody, or somehow there's a third party conversation happening about you. There's no explanation, it's just Stacy A. Cross, and then whatever number of descriptors might be included, versus Comfort Killers which does require a little explanation, but to the same point I still think that the name is really strong and I know when we were being introduced to each other I was like, 'What the hell is going on?' Like I have not met somebody that is so blunt, so kind of in your face, but in a down to earth type of way. Because I feel like there's a lot of people out there who are kind of screaming from the stage, and they're blunt, and this, that and the other, but yet they're not relatable, and I feel like you have a good way of blending both of those balances. Stacy A Cross: Thank you, thank you very much. Jenn T Grace: So thinking about personal branding, and somebody who might be listening to this, and we're talking about your brand is Stacy A. Cross, mine's Jenn T. Grace, like there's obviously the commonality there in and of itself. What would you say is like the number one- maybe the first step that somebody might be thinking like, 'Okay I have a business right now, I'm known for being the founder of this business, or the CEO of this business, but I really need to start making that pivotal change into really focusing on me as a personal brand.' In your experience, what would you say is that first kind of- maybe even just a baby step that people need to take to start figuring out what that might look like? Stacy A Cross: That's a great question. What I've done, and just to even get me to this point, is open conversation more about yourself, and kind of key in your actual things that tie your story together. And there could be four or five things because every one is important, and I think really over the three or four things, you have to know that you're important, that you have something to say. And the confidence that comes with that when you are the authority in your domain, in your space, then you are confident to project your story. So the first things that I've done is start opening my opinion about things. And not in a mean way, or not in anything, I just stood firm with who I was, and opened my opinion. So I just really opened the channels and started being me 100% of the time. What I've done to identify or what someone could do to identify their personal brand and to kind of have that stake in the ground that says, 'Okay this is me,' the first thing to do is get your domain- I mean tangible things, is get a domain name and come across as an authority in whatever field, or whatever industry, or whatever niche that you are a part of. Right? So what I've done is started talking about things that haven't been working in this personal development space, in self-improvement space, and I was very serious about it. I wasn't there to converse, I was there to tell and to show who I was through my arguments, or through my opinions, and that's really all it took. Now I'm the industry leader in that space of if you're talking about uncomfortable, if you're talking about discomfort, if you're talking about growth, you have Stacy A. Cross and her name, she'll know what to talk about. Jenn T Grace: What was your process for really just identifying like, 'this is my niche'? Like how did you really- like I know that we talked about how you came up with Comfort Killers and how you defined that, but like to come to the place to recognize like, 'this is my niche, this is my calling,' I feel like it's a process for a lot of people and there's an evolution for how to kind of come to terms with like, 'okay this is what I stand for.' Did you have any exercise that you went through? Did you have a coach who navigated you? Or did it just kind of- I don't know, hit you one day of, 'this is it.' Stacy A Cross: I think I am the outlier, okay? I used to be a rapper and so I was always good with words, and I never found out until now that I was this good with words. And I kind of put my path, and I looked into my path and what leading up to this, and I kind of noted some very pivotal times in my growing up, in my formative years, where people would say certain things and I never thought of it of nothing. But here's the deal, I didn't get a coach, I just believed in myself, and I know it's cliché but I did, and I said, 'You know what? I don't care. I really don't. I don't care who likes me, I don't care who loves me-' I do care who loves me but I don't care what anyone has to say about who this person is. So the process of me building that confidence up was really being serious in my art and my craft and who I was, and understanding that the level of criticism that you're going to get in any area is going to come because first they criticize you, and then they admire you. And I live to that, and I said, 'You know what? I'm willing to get criticized. I'm willing to put it all out on the line for who I am and what's discussed and anything I say.' So what I did, I had to step away from being an amateur, and I had to step away from being a guest here. No, I'm supposed to be here, and it was really a mindset change more than anything because we all have the words inside of us, we could really start talking right now, but it's that mindset switch to let you know that you are the authority, and not an amateur, and not a novice. Even if you're doing novice things at the same time. Because I came out of the struggle, I came out of the dirt, I believe that that's the time that we need to grow because we have the most to say at that time. But really when I stepped out as Stacy A. Cross, not just Stacy Cross, but Stacy A. Cross, I stepped out with authority because I believed I had authority to be here, because I believed that I'm important, and I just walked out. No coach, no navigation, but I did read a lot of books. I did have some mentors that they don't even know me, right? Because I feel like personal development is key because you need to take heed to the clues that was already left. So how does this speaker- let's say, I love The Rock, right? How come he jumps on live, or Facebook live, or any Twitter channel. What's his brand? The Rock, right? How come he has that authority when he speaks? What was the first authority? I started going back, I watched Oprah's first video. I watched Gary V's first video. These guys didn't have anyone cheering them on when their first thing- they were probably scared as hell but they knew they needed to do it, and they knew they needed to be there. So I watched people, I started minding the clues, and believing in myself, and coming out with authority when I spoke about any subject, not just personal growth. Jenn T Grace: Everything that you just- the way in which you said it, and what you just said is exactly like blowing up the idea of comfort. Literally everything that just came out of your mouth. So you're obviously very much on brand with what you're talking about. So what were the most pivotal books that you read, if you want to give me two, that really helped you kind of define and further refine your personal brand? Like what were the top two that you can think of. Stacy A Cross: Okay the first one would be Jack Canfield's 'The Success Principles because that one straight up had- because there's so many examples given in that book of being comfortable, and I was like, 'Oh my God that was me. That was me. Oh wow, okay people know about you.' And so the Jack Canfield's 'The Success Principles' I always talk about. Love the idea of the inner guidance system which I renamed- because I could do that, the Biological GPS. So I love that, and I love understanding more of it, so I go back to that book multiple times. And the second is 'The Master Key System.' And that has been- it's free on my website, The Comfort Killers, you could just type up. The only book you will ever need because I believe really that's it, and that taught me about the inner world, right? And that the within world defines the world without, and it taught me about the universal principles, and how things need to just work, and things are going to be working without you or not, you could just slide right in there and be a part of the universal laws. And I love that because it's more on the spiritual side and then Jack Canfield was more the hard cold truth about yeah, you bought the dog- you bought the dog, now you complain about the dog. So it's more that tangible practical 3D life. And then of course the Master Key to Success- the Master Key System was more that whole broad spiritual aspect of it, and that balance, and that love, you know? So those are my top two. Jenn T Grace: I love that you brought up both of those because I have had guests separately both mention- and it's driving me crazy actually trying to figure out who also recommended 'The Master Key System,' it's going to make me insane until I think of it, but I will. But I like the balance because you're talking in one direction of like tactics and the cold hard truth facts, and then on the other side you're talking about kind of the universe and how- and I have a quote on my wall that says, 'The universe conspires in your favor,' because it absolutely does. And so what degree do you think in your day-to-day that you're applying both kind of sides of this? Kind of the hard fact versus the softer spiritual. Are you- is there a balance daily? Does it kind of fluctuate? Does it depend on your mood? What does that look like for you? Stacy A Cross: Well you know in Delaware- I used to live in Delaware and the question will get answered. But I was living in Delaware and I was a heavy meditator, I was meditating, I was trying to do things to help me understand who I was, my higher self, and I was in it. I was in it all the way. And one day I think I meditated a little bit too much because I think I connected to the source, right? The motherland ship. I was there. So it scared the shit out of me. Goosebumps even to this day when I tell that story, and I only tell it in bits and pieces because I believe that that's the best way it can be shared. Just like Twitter. So here's the deal, I'm sitting in there thinking I'm meditating, kind of dozing off but I'm really not, I just went into a deep state of awareness and I couldn't open my eyes, and it was this whole big thing, and my ear was beeping, and it was these tones, and I couldn't- and I said, 'Get me out of here because I'm not ready,' and of course I did, I got out. But after that what happened in Delaware, was I looked up the word Delaware, and I realized there are two words, del and aware. Del of- and then aware. Of awareness. I got my peak state of awareness in Delaware. I will never shun that as a part of my growth because it made me so aware. Everything was beautiful at that point. I could look out and see a leaf, and the leaf would smile, and I was just so far gone. People were like, 'You are now gone,' and I was like, 'But no I'm really ready to start a business. I need to come back.' So what I do now is to keep both sides- because I'm very spiritual, so I muscle tense probably every day. In the shower, out the shower, upon waking, and I say thank you. And it's these little bit size piece of gratitude, bite size piece of awareness, bit size piece of consciousness, and appreciation of who I am and my higher self. And then you get the majority of the beast, right? Because all I have to do is that, give that bite size awareness, bit size love, and I'm already in motion. And then my rest of my day is this whole beautiful thing called business. But throughout the day it's all bite sized consciousness. Jenn T Grace: So number one, I feel like there are probably people who routinely meditate and practice mindfulness, and don't ever find that Holy Grail that you found. What would you say to the novice person who is listening to this, and not to say that the universe and kind of spirituality hasn't come up in the podcast before, but it's certainly not like a dominant theme in the podcast. So what would you say to somebody who's listening to this and they're thinking, 'This sounds interesting but I don't necessarily know where to start or what to do,' or they're absolutely petrified based on what you just said. So like what would you say? Stacy A Cross: Here's the deal- I was, but there's a sense of calm and love and unconditional love with you in everything, and connectivity knowing that you are everyone. There's a sense of that and I would never give that up. But if you're a novice just like I was, we all once were babies and we needed to crawl, so the deal is what I've done is I just jumped on YouTube- I jumped on YouTube and did guided meditations because I didn't really like that binaural sound coming in, it was too much too fast. So what I did was I just did a morning meditation which was ten minutes, and I started being more interested in it, and I started doing a guided meditation. I think if we force things it doesn't come. Like on that day where I didn't want to just go into a deep meditation, it just happened. It was at that perfect time. And I think everyone has that perfect time, but you have to plant the seeds now because you can't get to that point of awareness (Delaware) sitting in the couch petrified. You can't get to that one but you have to start somewhere. Open up YouTube, learn about your chakras. Learn about what the universe is trying to tell you because I think your personal story comes from your insight, comes from spiritual awareness. Because you have to be aware of who you are, and I think spirituality and going into that deep mindfulness of having those thoughts. You know how hard it is to not think, and that's what I was trying to overcome. I was like, 'You know what? I'm going to do it because I want to just master this thing.' And it was a game to me, and the universe loves playing games with you. So just be prepared to plant seeds now, take it one day at a time. It doesn't have to be three hours like my crazy ass was doing, but it could be five minutes of just total gratitude and just saying thanks, and just saying, 'I am aware, and I am here,' and start with some affirmations and make them real. Jenn T Grace: I love all of that. And so I am part of a Mastermind group, and I have a couple of them that I'm actually part of. Some are far more hardcore like the Jack Canfield, like we were saying just very much like hard fact. And then the one that I'm most active in now, there's ten of us, and it's very spiritually centric, and I had a really hard time acclimating to being in this room with these women. There's only one other woman out of the ten of us who was also on like the outside kind of looking in. And not to say that I have not been spiritual, because I have always been a very kind of inner reflective, very deep, very conscious of everything around me, but I would never have thought of it as being like spiritual. Although now of course, it makes far more sense. I'm just very nature centric I guess is the best way of phrasing it. And I go outside and I run almost every day, and I've been training for a marathon which my podcast listeners are all aware of because it's been such a struggle, but I find that I can find that clarity when I'm just outside running, and I'm kind of ignoring everything around me. I recently found a- actually I was introduced to a gentleman named Casey Carter, and his website I believe is called This Epic Life and he has a thirty day meditation- it's not called meditation for dummies, but that's basically how I'm interpreting it. Of here's just this meditation for the lay person, and I just recently started going through it just to like see, and see if I could calm my mind, and it is really, really hard. And I'm only on- I don't know, I might be like day six, and yet I can find that I can calm my mind when I'm moving, but there's something about stillness that I think is what scares the shit out of most people. I think it's the stillness that scares people, and I'm just still trying to figure out how to do it, it's not that it scares me at this point because I'm perfectly fine being alone with my thoughts, which I think a lot of people have a hard time just being alone with their thoughts. I think that's another one of the big things, but I feel like there's so much benefit to business as it relates to all this. So my question to you would be what do you think the biggest benefit that you gained as a result of just being more mindful, and kind of in tune with yourself and your surroundings? Stacy A Cross: I believe it's the decision making because I think that the right things always come to me, right? It's for me, it's understanding who I am to a level where if I know my decision making- that was a piece for me that was hard, right? I was always looking to someone else to decide something for me without knowing what I want. But it was just a struggle for me growing up, right? So I think now at the level where I am, knowing that everything for me is for me, and it wouldn't even come to my plate if it's not for me, but understanding what my needs are. Okay? The needs of the business, and being able to decide based on those needs, not this reactional traditional conventional way to decide things. But I mean I'm talking as little as should I have coffee, or should I have tea? Because I had a headache for the past two days, and I know you wanted more business minded, but this is how on a micro scale that I think of things now. I had a headache for the past two days in the morning, I drank coffee, now my body is telling me it doesn't like it, something is going on. Should I drink tea for a week just to test that out? Yes. And those level- and it goes from the micro just of doing those kinds of decision making all the way to should I invest in this- should I invest in this marketing strategy, this person, this coach for business because this A, B and C was the outcome, now my business mind is telling me that something either needs to be changed, what should it be? And it's because of this mindfulness knowing that I'm taking in key factors from who I am, and how I feel, that biological GPS that allows me to make better decisions- business decisions, personal decisions, life decisions much quicker than I used to make crazy 'rational' decisions. Jenn T Grace: So how do you think people go from whatever their status quo is in their comfort zone to understanding that you can rely on your gut or your intuition to guide you to a better, more rational decision, even though to some degree in people's minds that might be like a counterintuitive thought. Stacy A Cross: Yeah you know what, I always say listen- that's why I said 'rational' because I like irrational. I'm illogical, I shouldn't be here right now, Jenn. Okay? I started this business six months ago and I'm on Grant Cardone TV, they reached out to me, there's so much things happening. If was rational all I would say was, 'Okay I just want to start a business and that's all I'll still be doing.' But irrational thinking, and understanding that it takes some work- it definitely takes some work. Time is of the essence, time is our friend, and the reason why people don't get things done, or they say they don't have no time is because they don't know math, right? Because time is of the essence, truth. So I know I went a little off topic. You're going to have to guide me back because I totally forgot the question. Jenn T Grace: You know, I went off the rails with you and I don't remember what the question was. Stacy A Cross: I love it! That's what the universe does for us, because whatever it was, that's what needed to be said and we don't have to force anything. And I love that, and I love that this came up because whatever needs to happen always happens, and I believe this to be true. Jenn T Grace: I feel that way about people that I come across, introductions that I make, and I feel like I have had a road led with adversity in many, many, many ways, and LGBT is not even one of those factors of kind of the chaos of my past. And I feel like the only thing that gets you to the other side of that chaos is just saying to yourself, 'This is happening for a reason. I don't necessarily need to know what that reason is that this moment, but there is a reason why this is occurring to me right now.' And that I think to some degree can get you through a lot of personal hurdles, but I also think for business because there's a lot to be said about shifting, and adapting, and going in the direction that naturally feels like the best direction for you to go in, even if for all intents and purposes like on the surface, it does not make any sense to the outside. Stacy A Cross: Right, I agree. I agree with that 100%. When I first started business'ing I was like- okay I was getting tons of information, and how do I scan that information quickly and make a decision? Or how do I start a business- like how do I do this thing? Friends were saying, 'Do this, it's the marketing. It's this, you've got to get funnels, you've got to click them, you've got to do this,' and I was getting bombarded and it didn't feel right. And it wasn't until I just kind of looked outside and just allowed myself to identify where the needs were in business was when I really started moving, and aligning, and getting results. That's the biggest piece. But I do go through life wondering, asking, 'Okay I know that this is here for a purpose, don't know what the purpose is, but I'm ready for the lesson.' And that's really- and that's really it, and it guides me, and I trust myself. And I mean I think we should trust ourselves a little bit more in business too. Like make a mistake, it's okay. Like I think I did a tweet the other day, the entire sentence was fucked up- the grammar was bad. It's okay. Like it's okay to have a typo. I wrote a book in 24 hours, my eBook in 24 hours- which we don't count, right? I wrote it in 24 hours and there were so many typos in it. I didn't care, I did it and it felt right, and it felt good. And I think sometimes we just have to go, and when we feel that fear and everything inside of us telling us, 'Don't do it, don't go for it,' and that happens in a lot of conventional wisdom and tradition. That's why more people, they don't start businesses because it's so hard to think about it that they don't even actually do it. So my thing is just go for it, feel it, go for it, if it's right, do it. Jenn T Grace: And I think that the second piece of that is making it attainable. So if you have some crazy goal, or new business that you're about to start, or kind of a new evolution of your existing business, it's a matter of breaking it down into some kind of tangible baby steps that make it feel less overwhelming so you don't get caught in that frozen place of being paralyzed because you don't know the next step to take, because everything just seems so overwhelming and so daunting. Stacy A Cross: It does get that way. And my goal is big, I have big goals, scary goals, unattainable goals, I can't get to them and they scare me, they're monsters. It's on my shoulder, I wake up, I can't even breathe, it's holding me down, these goals are scary. I love big goals because I'd rather fail at a big goal than fail at a tiny puny ass goal, and not even change. Right? So my goal- I'm looking at the book and when you said marathon, I was like, 'Oh shit she just reminded me I've got to go too to run a marathon, and I just ran this morning.' And I'm doing it, and I've got to train for a whole year, and it's crazy, right? And I feel your pain, Jenn. But you already are a runner, I'm coming from just like- I don't even put the ink line up on the damn [Inaudible 00:41:53]. Jenn T Grace: But guess what? If we go back- and my loyal listeners of this podcast I think have a good sense of the evolution, but if we go back to 2012 and 2013 when I just had- it was like a personal crisis I would call it. Like just a crisis of like what am I doing with my life? And I said, 'Screw this. Ef this, I am not taking anyone's shit anymore, and this is the new me.' And I started when I was running, and I couldn't run for like five seconds without wanting to die. Like it truly was that bad, I could not run for five seconds without feeling like death was setting in. And not to say that that doesn't happen now because it still does, but I think it's the process and the journey. So there's the whole cliché of like enjoy the journey, not the destination, or it's all about the journey and this, that and the other. And to a large degree that is totally the case because I look- my goal was first to be able to run a 5K which is 3.1 miles, and once I was able to do that which took me a while to get to, I was like, 'Alright now I'll do the 10K, and now I'll do the half marathon, and now I'm doing a marathon.' But it requires every single day to be doing something to further you toward that goal that people do not see. So every single day my ass is outside running whether it's inclement weather or not. So yesterday it was freezing, the day before it was raining, like there's always something, it's never just like nice weather, and you have to be out there every day. Nobody knows you're doing it, it's only you who knows that you're doing it because you have the end goal of- like for me the marathon is in January. This weekend I have to run seventeen miles which I have been dreading for the last two weeks. But it is what it is, I have no choice. And in January, on January 8th when I can post my accomplishment of like I finally did it, I ran this 26.2 mile race that I literally couldn't run more than five seconds without wanting to die a couple years ago, that is like the- finally the pinnacle of accomplishment because now people can see that that has happened. But they do not see the two or three years of training daily in the making that actually led to that. So if we apply that to a business lens, it's those day-to-day consistent actions that people are taking that they're not getting credit for, no one's seeing, no one's congratulating them on, that actually gets them to that place of having a successful business. But it takes forever to actually get to, so people have to be patient to some degree to recognize that it isn't an overnight success, and there is no such thing as an overnight success because every single person you ask who has had 'overnight success' will tell you that it took them ten years to get to. Stacy A Cross: Love that. I love it because yes, it's the dirt. Yes it's the work that no one shows on their Snapchat or on their videos or their documentary films about entrepreneurs. It is the work that comes in between. But here's the deal, just as you were saying that and I'm reading this book 'The Marathon' by Hal Higdon. 88 marathons, some crazy numbers, and he says more people- he took a survey. More people appreciate and respect the training versus the one day of accomplishment because the deal is- and that's the process, and that's what I'm trying to give out, the values and my experience. It's in this day-to-day action. We're going to get the value from what we're doing and what we're talking about even right now because ten years from now, this day, I'll be like, 'Holy shit, I did all of that that one day?' I already had three calls, Jenn, and I know you did too. Three calls. I went out this morning to run. I already read a piece of a book that I'm reading right now, 'Story Selling,' by Nick Nanton and J. W. Dicks. I've already written an article ready to go. I've already- you see it's all of these things but it's tomorrow, it starts it over with a reset button that you press. Jenn T Grace: Absolutely, and I think that that is what- it's like every day is truly a marathon of the amount of things that you have to get done, and there are people that don't want to put in that amount of legwork, and that's okay. So not everyone has to own a business, not everyone needs to be developing and growing their personal brand, and that's just a life decision that some people just aren't meant for it, and others are. And no matter where you fall on that spectrum- so if someone is listening to this and they're like, 'Oh hell no, I don't want to have to have made three phone calls, recorded two podcasts, meditated, gone for a run, had lunch with somebody all before like 1:00 in the afternoon,' then that's fine. There's no judgment in that and I think that that's probably the most important word here, is that there's no judgment in any person's decisions to go in any direction that they choose. Stacy A Cross: And I love that, but I'm going to just add the caveat. That same person that doesn't want to do that better not complain about their situation later on down the line. Jenn T Grace: Agreed. Totally agree, could not agree more with that. Stacy A Cross: Don't complain about not having, or not being able to get this, or the world's against you, or not having- I'm not saying your listeners, your listeners are probably wonderful, I believe they are, and they're loyal listeners. I'm talking about the- that's that polarized thing that I don't get, and that's what I give no back pass for, is saying that you have zero time because you have to take the kids to school, you have to walk the dog, and you don't want to do this stuff, but you're watching eighteen hours of the Walking Dead the entire weekend. Don't complain on Monday, don't complain on Monday that you don't have any time. That is all I'm saying. Jenn T Grace: I could not agree more, and I will comment on a good example of this, is that this past weekend- so I'm on a very strict training plan to get this marathon done, like there is no room for error at this given juncture in time. And there are plenty of times in the past where it's like, 'Yeah if I move this run it's not a big deal, I can switch this around.' Like right now there's literally no margin of error available. So this past weekend I was only supposed to do four miles which is very kind of simple at this point compared to what I have to be doing of like the seventeen on Saturday. But I checked in with my running buddy and said, "Hey how did your four miles go?" Because on Saturday morning my ass was up and out of my house by 7:30. Mind you I do have a wife, and we do have two children, both of which are very challenging due to mental health related issues, and I'm also running a business, I have something that I'm starting up, I have a ton of shit going on, and I was still able to get the four miles in, I just got up early, went out, did it, came back, and I felt amazing. I checked in with my running partner later that night and she had like fifteen excuses for why she wasn't able to get out and do it. And I'm like, 'Okay one major difference is that I have children and you don't.' That in and of itself makes it somewhat miraculous to get out of the house on a weekend morning without having like some kind of trouble. So I feel like- and there's not judgment to be had in that, but when you're not prepared for whatever it is that is coming. So whether we're talking about something like a physical marathon, or whether we're talking about the success of your business, or whether or not you win an award, or don't win an award, or get some kind of accolade that you've been waiting or; it's those very small decisions on a day-to-day basis that to me are the ones that have the most impact. So if you're making excuses for whatever reason, the excuses are going to be the reasons why you didn't get it done, because you're only making the excuse to yourself because no one else really cares generally speaking around you what your reason for not doing something is, they just see that you didn't do it and they don't really care why. It's you that you're fooling in the grand scheme of things. Stacy A Cross: If you want so much as one excuse and think about it, you've got a million, and they're plentiful. So yeah, I agree with that whole concept and I've trained- you don't even know what it's like to live in the house with me because it's brutal in the morning. I'm loud, I want everyone up, we're up and Adam, and you know what? It's changed everyone here, and I like to say that I was influential in that, and what business mind, and our decisions are better now, you know? So yeah, I love that, I appreciate that, and that's what I'm trying to bring value to. It's days like this, it's the training dates that you're doing, it's me going out for a marathon- I don't want to publicly say it because if I publicly say it- I'm going to say it right now. Jenn T Grace: Say it. Stacy A Cross: If I publicly say I'm going to run a marathon in a year from today- don't send this thing to my email in a year, don't do it. No but I will because I have the book, and I've been running, I've been training for it, but I am like where you were 2012, but that's something that I want to do on a personal achievement level but I know that it's an every day thing, it's a strategic thing, it's you've got to do it when you don't want to, when you feel bad, and I get bad cramps. I don't know about you, but my cramps come and I don't know what to do in the world. But I've trained myself to say that I don't have any pain, and I've been tricking my basal ganglia, I've been changing habits, I've been tricking myself when I feel bad to say, 'You know what? I feel the best in the world and I'm going to go out there,' and it's been amazing so far. Jenn T Grace: So as we're about to wrap up, number one, I kid you not I will follow up with you to see if you're training. Do not- you said it, it's in the universe, and now I'm on your ass. This is what I do. Stacy A Cross: I love it. Jenn T Grace: And number two, I feel like to some degree there's a lot of inspiration to be had for the fact that I know- and I know I had a lot of people in my audience reach out to me to say like how shocked in a way of like going from not being able to breathe running five seconds, to running for five and a half hours. And I feel like it's that type of inspiration- because we can look at elites, we can look at elite athletes, we can look at the Gary Vaynerchuks of the world, we can look at Fortune 500 CEO's and be like, 'Oh wow that's awesome that they're doing that,' but they're not relatable, and I think our conversation to some degree brings it down to a relatable level to say, 'If one of these two yahoo's can get this shit done, then I can get this done,' is how I see it. Like I truly am like, 'If Jenn and Stacy can do this, like you can totally do it too.' So I feel like there's a lot of I think inspiration that can be drawn from being able to honestly accomplish anything if you just break it down into manageable chunks. Stacy A Cross: Yes. Jenn T Grace: So my final I guess parting question would be is if you could tell the listeners one thing that you think would help them, that they might be able to implement today, what would that one thing be? And then as you're kind of wrapping up, feel free please tell people where they can find you, how you like to be contacted, and all that stuff. Stacy A Cross: Yeah. I would say get uncomfortable with your friends, family, job, everything. I mean cut people off that need to be cut off. If you really want to go on a path, and you have identified any negative pieces in your way, any negativity, anything that will hold you back, limitations, and I'm talking even within yourself; cut them off and figure out a way around it instantly. Because I had to do it. I had to change friends, change my number, I do not care anymore. You have to be very confident in that and you cannot be flaky because once you cut someone off you can't go back, and if you go back it better be to tell them how to do the same thing. The deal is I want you guys to be great, and I want you guys to get uncomfortable. There is so much importance with you. I want you, my friends, my comfort pillars, to go about the day knowing that you can conquer anything in your world, in your path, and if you can believe it, you can see it. Stop trying to see things before you can believe them. Believe them first and then I guarantee you it's going to be there right in front of your face, you can actually see it because the veil has been lifted. Ladies and gentlemen, you can find me anywhere because you're never there- no you are always there. I am on Twitter, Stacy A. Cross on everything, okay? Twitter, Snapchat. Like I said, www.StacyACross.com, but you know what? It's not updated and just because you told me, I'm going to update. Facebook, find me there, Stacy Annmarie Cross. I can't believe I did it but I'm telling you my entire governance. Stacy Annmarie Cross on Facebook, and of course the website, the headquarters, the foundation is www.TheComfortKillers.com. That's with 'The,' www.TheComfortKillers.com. You can find me everywhere and I am always here to leave my leaders, I do not like followers, so don't try to follow me on any of these social networks. My email is Stacy@thecomfortkillers.com. Jenn T Grace: And that is Stacy without an 'E.' Stacy A Cross: There is no 'E' in my name. Jenn T Grace: I love it. I have the same challenge with people spelling Jenn wrong, or calling me Jean, or I get a whole bunch of variations because I went off the reservation instead of having just one 'N,' so I get it, I totally get it. Anywho, I so appreciate you and so anyone who's listening to this and they want to find out- you know get all the information that you just talked about, it will be on the blog at www.JennTGrace.com/96, that is for episode number 96. So thank you again, I so appreciate your energy, and if anyone wants to connect with Stacy and would like me to be the one who helps make that happen, just please email me and I will help you do that. Stacy A Cross: Love that, thank you so much for having me. I appreciate that, and I'll see you in a year. Jenn T Grace: Oh you bet, I'm on it and listeners, please help me keep Stacy accountable to this, because I know I will. Don't you worry, I'm going to put a calendar reminder now. Stacy A Cross: Beautiful, thank you so much. Jenn T Grace: You are welcome, have a great day. Stacy A Cross: You too, bye. Jenn T Grace: Thank you for listening to today's podcast. If there are any links from today's show that you are interested in finding, save yourself a step and head on over to www.JennTGrace.com/thepodcast. And there you will find a backlog of all of the past podcast episodes including transcripts, links to articles, reviews, books, you name it. It is all there on the website for your convenience. Additionally if you would like to get in touch with me for any reason, you can head on over to the website and click the contact form, send me a message, you can find me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter all at JennTGrace. And as always I really appreciate you as a listener, and I highly encourage you to reach out to me whenever you can. Have a great one, and I will talk to you in the next episode.

#94: Building a Stronger Queer Community with the Debt Free Guys

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2016 49:30

#94: Building a Stronger Queer Community with the Debt Free Guys Jenn T Grace: You are listening to the Personal Branding for the LGBTQ Professional Podcast, episode 94. Introduction: Welcome to the Personal Branding for the LGBTQ Professional Podcast; the podcast dedicated to helping LGBTQ professionals and business owners grow their business and careers through the power of leveraging their LGBTQ identities in their personal brand. You'll learn how to market your products and services both broadly, and within the LGBTQ community. You'll hear from incredible guests who are leveraging the power of their identity for good, as well as those who haven't yet started, and everyone in between. And now your host. She teaches straight people how to market to gay people, and gay people how to market themselves. Your professional lesbian, Jenn - with two N's - T Grace. Jenn T Grace: Hello and welcome to episode number 94 of the podcast. I am your host, Jenn Grace, and today I have an interview for you with the Debt Free Guys, David and John. We really kind of cover a whole gamut of topics starting with a little bit about their background, but then kind of diving into some really actual specific strategies around the best way to launch your personal brand, and really kind of leverage your personal brand. And then of course we talk about some deeper conversations around what's next for the LGBTQ community specifically. So this has been a really good episode, I hope you enjoy it, and if you are looking for information for the episode itself, if you go to www.JennTGrace.com/94 for episode number 94, you will find all of the information that you need right there. As usual if you have any questions, comments, thoughts, feel free to reach out to them directly, reach out to me, however you want to do it. I am on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, you can also go to my website, I'm pretty much Jenn T Grace on every platform so feel free to reach out with any thoughts that you have, and enjoy the show. Alright so I want to focus today just kind of talking about you and your stories. I think when we were talking I had said that a client of mine found something that you had written in relation to personal finance, and then I discovered you and I was like, 'Oh look, how fun.' And since you so clearly state that you're husbands, and business partners, and the Debt Free Guys, and you just kind of put it all out there, I just want to start with your story and just kind of have you give a background for the listeners, and just kind of explaining how you got to where you are, and then from there we can kind of just organically continue on the conversation. David Auten: Yeah so I'm David. John Schneider: I'm John. David Auten: And we are the Debt Free Guys. John and I are bloggers, authors, public speakers, we have a podcast called 'Queer Money' and our focus is helping our community, the queer community, live bigger and better lives by being money conscious. Our primary belief is that a strong queer community is a viable strong queer community when individually we are financially strong. It allows us to focus on helping not only the community, but doing work in service and finding ways that we can help change hearts and minds of individuals who may not feel that a queer life is the best life, or a life that adds value to the overall community. And that's kind of our focus more recently, we've really started talking a lot about this. We believe that as a queer community it's time for us to step up and help our larger community because they've done so much for us in helping us get the rights and privileges that we have today. And so we want to do that, but we also believe that we can't be distracted financially whether it's student loan debt, consumer debt, or just hating the job that we go to every day. So we want to help people, like I said, live bigger and better lives. Jenn T Grace: So how long have you been doing what you do, and what was the original kind of spark that made you say that this- because if you think about starting a blog, it's such a long road to really kind of get your audience built and all that kind of stuff. So what made you think like, 'We have this message that we want to share. How are we going to go out and do this, and then how are we going to monetize what we're doing?' John Schneider: Sure. So David and I got together about thirteen years ago, and about a year and a half after we were together we realized that between the two of us we had a total of $51,000 worth of credit card debt, and the irony is that we were both in financial services. We were helping other people with their money, but we obviously weren't helping ourselves. So we decided that we weren't living the lives that we wanted to live, we had got wrapped up in the clubbing scene, the partying scene, and this wasn't really the trajectory we wanted to go with our lives. So we decided that we need to pay off our debt, and we created a strategy to do so in three years, and ended up actually paying off our debt in two and a half years. And then shortly thereafter we moved from a basement apartment to buying a house in a high rise that overlooks the downtown Denver and the mountains. So our lives completely changed and so we felt both based on our professional experience and personal experience that we could maybe help others live better lives as well. So we wrote a book called '4: The Four Principles of Debt Free Life,' and that kind of started our journey as the Debt Free Guys. We published that about two years ago, but about a year prior to that was when we started to dabble into the blogging space and our first account was on- was it on Blogger? And we had several iterations since then. So we've probably been the Debt Free Guys and been blogging for about three years, our book was published two years ago, but it wasn't until last year that we went to FinCon '15 which was in North Carolina. FinCon is a personal finance blogger conference that kind of merges bloggers, and media, and banks and brokerage firms together to all kind of give everybody an opportunity to talk and to network. And when we were there, there were probably about 800 people in all spaces, and we realized that you've got your mommy bloggers, and you've got your dads, and you've got all sorts of different niches that are trying to help their particular followers live better lives by spending wisely, saving wisely. But there was nobody that was reaching out specifically to the queer community. And so David and I thought, 'Oh we're queer. We know these people, we are these people, and nobody's reaching out to us.' And like David said, we do think that in order for us to be a strong queer community, one of the pillars of that strong queer community is that we are financially strong as individuals. And so we thought, 'Wow, maybe we should start to nuance our message.' When we wrote the book and we were blogging before, we didn't hide that we were a gay couple, but we just weren't as I guess out about it as kind of a by-product of our message. Well now since for about a year we've been really targeting the queer community. That's how the Queer Money Podcast that we started in March came about, that was the impetus for that. Jenn T Grace: So when you decided to create the Queer Money Podcast, what made you choose going with Queer Money versus some other word that you could use in place of the- or acronym that you could have used in place of queer? John Schneider: So there were a couple reasons. One is I was starting to have trouble to say LGBTQA, and everything that we add to it. So it doesn't fall off my lips easily and I don't think the branding is really appealing. It looks inclusive but it kind of gets lost and muddled. Especially if you're not in the queer community, you kind of don't know what all those letters stand for. And the other thing is we have so many nuances of gender and sexual orientation that it started to feel- that we're starting to bifurcate everyone, put everybody in different silos. And we thought we want to talk to the entire community, we want to talk to all the LGBTQ people. So we thought that queer just kind of was the most inclusive word that we could come up with. We know that a lot of people don't like that word, but we think that we can change the definition of that. Jenn T Grace: May as well, right? David Auten: Right, and to be honest I like that word. I like the word queer. I know that for a lot of people in the past it has a connotation of being different, and being odd, or being less than. But I think that when we look at ourselves we are different, and it's something that we're proud of, and it's something that we wanted to bring into our podcast was the differences. When we look at the financial differences of what it's like for a gay couple who want to have children. What are the financial nuances around that? What are the financial nuances around a transgendered man or woman who's going through transition? What are their financial decisions that they have to make? And then maybe you look at other parts of our community and the financial decisions that we have to make around marriage. And for individuals who live in the 28 states where it's still legal for someone to fire you for being gay, there are financial decisions and choices that you have to make when it comes to wanting to get married. So we want to cover all of that in our podcast, and we are doing that, and we think that by identifying as queer it allows us all to be a part of this inclusive group where we're talking together about what we need financially. Jenn T Grace: So I think all of that makes such perfect sense. So did you think that when you started out with this that you would become I guess personal brands in your own way? Because you are branding yourselves so succinctly as the Debt Free Guys, and then having Queer Money, was that kind of an intentional thing that you set out to do, or did it kind of happen organically as you've just been doing this? David Auten: It's funny that you ask that question because I would love to say we're smart, but no all of a sudden it wasn't until a few months ago that we started to realize that Queer Money is becoming its own brand. We had worked for three years to make Debt Free Guys a brand, and then all of a sudden we're like- and oddly enough Queer Money is becoming a brand much more quickly. And so it's purely by accident but we'll totally take advantage of that. Jenn T Grace: May as well, right? John Schneider: When we originally sat down and talked about becoming the Debt Free Guys, we did have a conversation that lasted for several hours around who did we want to be? And our story at the time was that we were a gay couple who got out of debt and we wanted to share that with other people, but we decided to leave gay out of the title, and I think because we were trying to appeal to a mass audience, but with Queer Money we know exactly who it is that we're looking at and sharing conversations of success stories, and mistakes that we've made, and how as a community- like we've said before, can be financially strong. David Auten: That said though, we do own the domain name Debt Free Gays. Jenn T Grace: Nice. David Auten: We might change that someday. Jenn T Grace: That could be funny. Actually when I had skyped you as we were about to start I just typed in 'Gys,' I mean to say 'Guys' but I'm like, 'Oh I actually could go for 'Gays' too.' So it's funny that that works out well. John Schneider: You're not the first person who has done that and said that to us. Jenn T Grace: I feel like to a certain degree- so if you were the Debt Free Gays, right? So would there be some level of it sounding disparaging perhaps? Because if we think back to how queer, in so many ways you are part of that movement that's reclaiming the word queer, so it is something that means something more positive than previous connotations to it. What about 'the gays'? I feel like 'the gays' is something that you hear crazy right wing, completely opposed to anything LGBT related, say. But it would be interesting to see how Debt Free Gays would go. What do you think would happen? David Auten: I think that that's one of the things that's part of our purpose, is that we want to change the conversation that even our gay community is having. One of the things that John and I have found is that especially gay men in our community, there is this strong sense of wanting to show everyone how fabulous our lives are. And unfortunately for a lot of people, a fabulous life does not also equal a debt free life. They hock themselves into financial ruin trying to live a fabulous life. But we want to share with people that gays can still have that fabulous life that is coming through the media. You know you see this on TV, every time you see a gay couple on TV they seem to be fabulous. John Schneider: White upwardly mobile. David Auten: Right, exactly. So we want to keep that idea that you can have a fabulous life, but you can also do this in a very money conscious way, a way that will allow you to live that fabulous life throughout your whole life. John Schneider: Yeah I think it's ironic because we have straight friends who call us 'the gays,' and it's a term of endearment. But I do see media and certain demographics who refer to that disparagingly. What was weird too when we had the conversation about whether or not queer was a smart option to choose, I posted something linking to one of our Queer Money podcasts and I simply asked the question of, 'Can saying I'm gay get you fired?' I chose those words because I had 120 characters to use, and it was really interesting how quickly other people in the queer community came back and said, 'Transgender people can get fired and lesbians can get fired, so why are you excluding everybody?' I'm like, 'I didn't really mean to, I just only had 120 characters and I just went with that.' David Auten: So I think the words take on the meaning that we allow them to have, and if somebody wants to refer to me as gay or part of the gays, I'm fine with that. It took a long time to get here, I'll stay. Jenn T Grace: So what is interesting as you're talking, I think there's so many- when you're building a personal brand, you're putting yourself out there in many ways, and I think that what you're emphasizing is important for people who are listening who are part of the community, who are working on building a personal brand, that when you do decide to stick with one term versus another, that you are going to catch hell from some fraction of the LGBT community whether it's intentional or not. And I remember when I started with my tagline of 'I teach straight people how to market to gay people, and gay people how to market themselves,' I got a world of shit for that because I was saying gay and I wasn't saying LGBT, and I was saying, 'Listen if my marketing- if my primary audience are straight people, they don't know what LGBT stands for. It's my job to help teach them what that means.' And that's exactly what you're saying around the word queer which I think is super awesome. What you were just saying though, just I have a question here because I'm wondering if people bring this to you. I have been called out in rooms while I'm speaking or presenting on something when I'm talking about the disposable income of the LGBT community, or the buying power, or some flashy statistics of saying how great the LGBT community is from a consumer standpoint. But then there's a lot of data and studies that show that there is equal if not more poverty among people who are LGBT, and of course there's a lot of different variables on that. Do you find that people ever comment to you on that? Or are you addressing that issue kind of from a head on standpoint? Because it feels like you have the perfect platform to be helping people who may not be in the best socioeconomic status, get them there because this is what you do. John Schneider: Right, we have seen statistics, I think the most recent one was 2015 that the queer community has about close to a trillion dollars in buying power, but that's excluding taxes and saving for retirement. But what's interesting is the cost to raise a child from the age of birth to eighteen (not including college) is about $245,000, and the queer community obviously doesn't have as many children as the straight community does, but ironically we only tend to have about $6,000 more than our straight peers when it comes to saving for retirement or savings at all. So there's definitely a disparity there and we've heard a statistic that we're trying to verify, I've heard it several times just not found the source, that about 40% of the queer community is in the service industry, food service or bartending. And so that kind of puts us kind of behind the eight ball when it comes to planning, and being prepared for retirement and saving for other financial goals. So we are cognisant of that, nobody's called us out on it or asked questions about it, but we are trying to address that. David Auten: One of the other things that we have done a little bit of research on, and I think is indicative of to what has happened in our community, in the US so much of our personal net worth is tied up in the value of our homes whether you're in the gay community or straight community. And if you look at a lot of the people who are queer, they moved into areas, into cities, and specifically into neighborhoods that oftentimes in sixties, seventies and eighties, these were neighborhoods where they were less desirable, and that has completely changed. Those communities, those neighborhoods now are in many cases, they are some of the most desirable. I think of places like Castro or Chelsea in New York, even here in Denver Capitol Hill. And so a lot of individuals, although they did not earn a lot of money, they bought well in the sixties, seventies and eighties with their homes, and that has translated into a lot more net worth. So outward appearances I think for a lot of individuals is that we have- we're very well off because we are living in these communities, but I think that there's also statistics out there that show that as specifically as gay men, one statistic showed that a gay man will spend about $54,000 more on education, time and energy to equal the same pay as his straight white male counterpart. There's a lot of statistics out there that show that lesbian women and the family structures that they have, oftentimes they have more expenses but are earning less. There is this dichotomy in our community too I think that's even stronger than it is in the straight world, where we have some very, very, very high earning gay individuals, and that kind of throws off the average. So I think the average gets pulled up by individuals who are very high earners, but as John said that there is a significant number of individuals who are working in the service community, and they may not have access to be able to earn as much, or have not taken the time and effort to earn more in their lives Jenn T Grace: So I totally agree with everything that you're saying. I was just at a conference and they were talking about LGBT business owners, and basically the revenue numbers of LGBT business owners. And depending on how you want to play the statistics, if you're looking at the pie chart in one way you can say, 'Okay it looks like 70% of them are earning less than $100,000.' But then if you're looking at a different way of framing that is, 'Oh the average LGBT business owner is making $2 million because that 30% that's over the $100,000 is so enormous that it completely overpowers more of kind of what the reality looks like. So when we're talking about statistics and numbers, and you're focusing on educating people, I'm focusing on educating people, and we're to some degree focusing on educating the same people. Where are you finding the most people who are resonating with your message? Do you have statistics on that? Or not even like real data, but just kind of off the cuff. Is it more men like yourselves? Is it more women? Is it urban, suburban? Like is there any kind of breakdown and is there anything that you can attribute to why that fan base is following you? John Schneider: So we've done some market research a couple different ways and we find that our primary audience is gay men between the ages of 35 and 55, and their two primary concerns are number one, paying off debt whether student loan or credit card. And number two is saving for retirement. Why that's the case, I would think probably because we're gay men between the ages of 35 and 55 and we paid off credit card debt. But I also think it's about thirties and forties I think when people start to say, 'Alright well I didn't make as much as I thought I was going to make and I didn't save as much for retirement as I had hoped to at this point, so now it's time for me to get my act together. So I think that may be why that demographic is resonating with us. I also think while we've tried to reach out to the queer community, we haven't yet resonated or caught the attention of the other demographics within the queer community; lesbians and transgender people. But like David said we're definitely trying to do that. We think that people like you, and people like us, we have a platform and it's important for us to make sure that we're doing our best to try to lift all boats in the ocean, and not just focus on the white upwardly mobile gay people that we see on TV. David Auten: Right. I think that one of the other things is that you look at some of the other demographics, and I'm going to specifically look at racial demographics- down racial lines. Individuals who are African American and Hispanic are oftentimes raised in households where money is very scarce, so they're raised with that scarce mentality, and so talking about money is something so foreign to them that they may not be attracted to a message like ours. And so we're trying to break that down. We've had several guests on our show who are African American, who are moving in that right direction, have businesses that are trying to work in their community as well as being in the queer community, to raise awareness around being financially fit. Jenn T Grace: In terms of your- the structure of your podcast, have you proactively really sought out finding diverse people? Because I know for myself even getting people on my podcast, I try but yet a lot of times I still end up having lesbians on my podcast because that's who is a huge part of my audience. So I know that you said that that's kind of happening to you as well, just it's people who are part of your own demographic. Of course we all kind of gravitate toward people that are like us, it's just kind of human nature, so have you put together any type of strategy where you're thinking, 'Okay I'm really going to make a concerted effort to find more women, more people in the trans community, more people of color, or whatever it happens to be, or has it just been very kind of organic as you've gone through? John Schneider: It's been sort of both. We've had African American people and lesbians on our show, probably fewer lesbians than African Americans. We have reached out to several transgender people to have them come on our show. The way we typically get guests is either through networking on social media and actually real life which is kind of scary. But we hear people make comments or they say things in different meetings or events that we're at, and we think, 'Oh that could be interesting on our show.' We're not typically focused on their gender or their heritage, it's more that they've got an interesting story to tell and for the most part that organic approach has worked out for us, but we have made some strategic effort. Because we do- there are some questions, and if David and I aren't familiar with what it's like to be transgender, and our concern is what is the cost of transitioning? And can we help people who are considering transitioning prepare financially so that they can do so and not impact their retirement or affect too egregiously other financial goals. Jenn T Grace: Interesting. David Auten: I think that we do like to look at a holistic view of our community. So we are actively looking for individuals in our community that fit these various niches within the group. Like John said, we have actively pursued going out and trying to find someone who is transgender. We have actively gone out and looked for individuals who can carry on a valuable conversation around what it's like to be a queer youth who is homeless. So we are looking for that because we know that it isn't just individuals who are listening to our show that identify with that, but it's individuals who are listening to our show that want to hear, like John said those stories, and know what else is going on in our community. That makes us stronger when we realize our diversity, and we appreciate that diversity, and can support each other. John Schneider: Yeah I think a good example was when we had a show about- 'There Are Gays Richer than You' is what the title of the show was, and we had a lesbian on the show, she's a regular talk show host and a psychology professor, and she let us know- and this is our own fault for not being more aware, that 40% of homeless youth identify as queer. And we were like astounded by that so then that opened up another discussion. Like how can we identify these people and help them out with our platform? So that's why we started to seek out people who are helping and people who are a part of that demographic. Jenn T Grace: That's so awesome. So do you have any plans of not necessarily having a philanthropic arm to what you're doing, but more of just kind of the giving side? I'm sure you're already very much naturally doing that, but in terms of being able to take the education you're providing people, that kind of added step further for the people that might not be able to afford working with you one-on-one, or whatever that might look like? John Schneider: We have started doing that. We actually had an event in Philadelphia back in July, and the event was called Queer Money: Launching Your Success, and it was held at the William Way Foundation which is an organization that specifically caters to queer youth. And the desire of that event was to try to share with queer youth individuals in their community who have made a success of themselves; and success is all different kinds of definitions, it's not just financial, it's individuals who have built a life that they want. And so we want to continue with those events so that we can reach more queer youth and help them see that life does get better, and this is how it gets better. These are the people who have done it, and here are some examples, and you can use them as resources. So we have kind of a broad look at it right now with that. We aren't doing any individual one-on-one yet. Jenn T Grace: So what is your vision? Because I feel like what you're up to is so amazing. Are you trying to move into a space where the two of you become bigger, more well-known public speakers, and really kind of having more of these events that you can be doing? I'm just curious because I feel like it truly sounds like the sky is the limit because you're doing such good work. David Auten: Thank you. John Schneider: Thank you, appreciate that. Such a reputable source. So our main goal is to strengthen the queer community so that we can fight the fight for equality which is obviously not yet over, and so that we can then- like David said earlier, we can be more impactful or powerful contributors to the broader society. Strategically how we're doing that, we're not myopic in any particular way, but we're focusing on obviously the Queer Money Podcast, we are writing as well, and then we are public speaking. Right now the podcast has most of our focus, but hopefully we can broaden that out a little bit more as the podcast becomes more self-sustaining. David Auten: And when John mentioned that we are writing, it's not just writing at our site www.DebtFreeGuys.com. We are partnering with a number of other publications; Business Insider which is not known as a queer resource, but we work with them so that we can provide them with queer content. We also work with Huffington Post, Yahoo Finance, and a couple of other websites and publications that allow us to kind of reach a very broad audience. One of the other things that we are doing, and if anyone who is listening is a part of this community, we are right now working with local gay magazines and websites to provide them with syndicated content that will allow them to reach their local community, helping them build that strong financial foundation. So for example there's a magazine in the Midwest where we have content in that magazine, and then on their website which will highlight not only our focus on providing the queer community with financial tools, but also providing our podcast so they can listen to it there. And really the desire is to build kind of a grassroots effort among queer communities that let's focus on being financially strong, let's focus on being a support for our community, and the larger community in general. John Schneider: Yeah I think, as David's speaking, we're part of the queer community, but we're also part of the finance community. We've been in personal finance for 31 years, we've worked for big brokerage houses, and one of the things that David and I have noticed is that since June, 2015 the finance community seems to think that because same sex marriage passed, that there are no other issues that the queer community needs to deal with financially. And obviously as you know, that's not true. And so we're trying to- the reason why we're passionate about reaching out to those bigger- and working with those bigger publications is because we think that it's important, especially on their platforms, to show that there are nuances that are unique to our community, and this is how you can address them. Jenn T Grace: Okay so I have two completely different trains of thought happening right now, so I just wrote one down to come back to in a minute. But the first one is- so the people who are listening to our conversation right now are people who are trying to figure out how to go about starting a personal brand, or maybe adjusting the one they have, or just being more conscious about what they're doing. So what I think you just mentioned is so incredibly important is about being in publications that are more mainstream publications, where the LGBT community is a sampling of the rest of the world, so we are from all diverse backgrounds, you name it. So you're strategically working on being in those types of mainstream publications. So my question for you is around what was your- I don't even want to say strategy because I'm sure there wasn't actually a strategy at the time, but like what was that first article, or source, or magazine, or newspaper that you landed where you recognized like, 'Okay this is so what I have to be doing, is focusing on getting more of this.' And then what did it look like to actually try to get more of them? Because I know a lot of people who struggle with getting mainstream kind of publicity in a way, but you're obviously coming from a place of giving value, which I think is easier to do it when you're doing it from that direction. But what has that process looked like for you, and what might you share as a tip for someone listening to this who's also trying to figure that out themselves right now? David Auten: Sure so when we started Debt Free Guys and we started blogging we thought, 'Well we got out of debt, we've got a story to tell, people should just want us to write for them,' right? We thought Oprah was going to have us on her show. That's not how it works. And luckily it didn't work that way because our message has become much more clear, and our writing has gotten much more succinct and better. So I think in hindsight if we were to tell somebody the strategy to execute on, it would be to first start a blog. I have to tell you the first time we actually published something that actually had one of our names on it, wasn't just generically Debt Free Guys, it was scary. I walked around for like an hour before I actually posted it, but I knew it was something we had to do because when you put yourself out there, then you put yourself out there for the good and the bad, and I wasn't necessarily prepared for the bad. But so we wrote for about two years on our own blog, and then through the connections from blogging that we made on social media, we started to write for other blogs that may not be well-known to most people. But it helps get you out there and gets your comfortable with exposing yourself and your thoughts. And then the next catalyst to our success was we went to FinCon last year and we networked with a bunch of people. So whatever niche you're in, I would highly suggest finding your people, finding conferences of people who do what you do, and people who would support what you do, and we networked with a group of people who offered to syndicate our content, which was awesome. And so they were the first ones to get us on Yahoo Finance, and the first time we were on Yahoo Finance it was really weird. Basically what we did was we told our story of how we became the Debt Free Guys, and who we are, and we were pretty out and open about being a gay couple, and we were on the home page of Yahoo Finance all morning. John Schneider: We were doing cartwheels and we both had day jobs at the time so we had to be like focused on somebody else's work while we were also consumed with our own. And it was at that point we thought, 'Wow this is really something that we can do something with,' and that's when we started to research. We hadn't really paid attention that much, but that's when we started to research that since June 2015 nobody's really been talking about LGBT money issues, and we can really help these publications reach a different audience, and also reach an audience that needs to hear the message. David Auten: It was kind of funny that John talks about that first day we were on Yahoo Finance. I was sitting at my desk and around the cube comes- around the wall comes the guy who sat next to me and he says, "Hey come here." And I got up and I walked over to his desk and he goes, "This is a picture of you on Yahoo Finance." And I hadn't really been that out with people and sort of what I was doing, so that was a very fun experience. One of the other things that John and I would absolutely recommend if you're trying to grow your personal brand, and I think a lot of people kind of blow off Twitter, they think it's not worth it. Twitter is an amazing tool that allows you to connect with individuals who you may not be able to find otherwise at publications, at companies, at organizations where they would be hidden by or barriered by a number of walls for you to be able to get to them. So if you want to write for a particular publication, go out and see who on Twitter is a part of that organization. If you want to do public speaking for a particular school, go out and find who are the leaders that work with that school that are on Twitter. Start engaging with them in conversation. Don't ask right away, but just start engaging with them around what is it that they do, what is it that they want, what is valuable for them, and then you can introduce what you have that might be of value to them. One of the biggest pieces of advice that John and I ever got was don't ask for a handout, ask for a hand up. And that's very important. When you're going to a company, an organization or a school, and you want to work with them, you can't just say, "Hi I want-" and ask them. Just like with the sales process. We all want someone to kind of charm us, or we want someone to provide us with some sort of information that it gives them the invitation to sell to us. Well the same thing goes with our introductions to these organizations. We have something of value, you have something of value that they want. You truly believe this in your heart, that you have something of value that they want, you want to slowly introduce that to them, and Twitter is a great way to do that. Jenn T Grace: I think that's such valuable advice, and I'm sure you are both familiar with Gary Vaynerchuk and his whole- he's an acquired taste for sure, however I enjoy his very aggressive and go-getting personality. But his book- and I actually handed it out to people that work for me. 'Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook' exactly exemplifies what you're talking about where it's really all about giving, and giving, and giving, and when the timing is right, asking for whatever it is that you need. But we all- and I think that at least the three of us talking right now are all coming from such a place of service where we're genuinely trying to just help the LGBT community be stronger and better regardless of what shape that takes. But I think it's so natural for us to be constantly giving, and then asking when appropriate. But I don't necessarily know that everybody can kind of translate that mindset into kind of their day-to-day business where maybe they're in a service-based business since you were talking about service-based before, it's a lot harder to actually find I think that right balance. David Auten: I think that it's also kind of similar to when you want to go to your boss and ask for a raise. You can't go to your boss and just say, "Hey I want a raise." You've got to go with, "Well I did this, and I did this, and I did this, and I can do this for you, and I can do this for you. This is why I am worth X number of dollars or percent more." We have to do the same thing with the other organizations that we want to work with. We want to show them, 'This is what I've done for you, this is what I've done for you, this is why I'm valuable, why you should pay me to do something.' Jenn T Grace: That's exactly, exactly it. So you've obviously learned to build relationships with media, and publications, and really kind of take the long strategic road of connecting with people on Twitter. Have you found any value in any other social media platforms, or have any just kind of general tip that might be helpful for someone just starting out? John Schneider: I think it's important to find out where your audience is. Our audience, Debt Free Guys, Queer Money audience is on Facebook. But I know a lot of people in the finance community, especially the mommy bloggers, their community is on Pinterest. I know a lot of the media folks in our space, their biggest platform is LinkedIn. So I think you need to find out who it is you're trying to serve, and then make sure you have a presence there. It's not all about obviously just connecting and trying to grow your brand, but it's also about trying to serve, like you said, and we want to find out where the people are that you want to serve, and I think that's very important. It's easy to get distracted living in such a ferret society right now because there's so much social media, and somebody says, "Oh if you're not on Instagram you've been missing out." "If you're not on Pinterest you're missing out." And there was a time there when David and I were trying to be on everything and I think Gary Vaynerchuk is very good at figuring out how to appropriately be on everything, but our belief is that our audience isn't everywhere, and we can't be everywhere. So we primarily focus on Twitter and Facebook, but somebody else's audience and somebody else's business partners might be on different platforms. So our advice would be to find out where your people are and then be there. Jenn T Grace: And there is a known strategy which is Pat Flynn's strategy of be everywhere, but I would caution against that especially just starting out to really don't go half-assing every social media outlet. Focus on like two where your people actually are, and really kind of hit it out of the park there. John Schneider: Exactly, and we're actually going to see Pat next week. David Auten: Yeah, and you bring up a very good point there of half-assing it. You only have so much amount of time, especially if you are starting out and this is your side hustle. Or you're just starting out and you do have some financial backing but not a lot. You have a limited amount of time. So if you only are able to spend a limited amount of time, do it where you can hit a home run. And not everything you do is going to hit a home run, but do it where you can really, really be effective. So if you're trying to hit seven different social media platforms, there's no way you're going to hit seven home runs in a row, it's just impossible, it's not going to happen. Not even Pat Flynn can do that, not even Gary Vaynerchuk can do that. Not everything that they do is wildly successful. So focus on building that audience in one or two places and then you're going to be able to hit a home run there, and once you get consistently hitting home runs there, move on to somewhere else. John Schneider: Yeah I think what you want to do is try- you want to get a following and if you can get your 1,000 raving fans, then you're set for success, and it's easier to get those 1,000 folks following you if you're targeted, and it's easier to do that when you're on one or two platforms. Maybe when you get big enough and you have a social media staff and you want to be everywhere like Gary V, it's a little bit easier. But when you're just doing this in your kitchen it's a little bit harder so stay laser focused. Jenn T Grace: Absolutely. Oh I love the paths that we've gone down, and I know that we're getting close on time so this will be the last question that I ask you, and then you can shamelessly promote what you have going on. But this stemmed from something earlier that you were talking about, and the question is what do you see as the next kind of big fight or great fight for the LGBT community? We know that we have marriage equality, which yay to some degree, but at the same time we still don't have equal protections in the workplace. So there's a lot of kind of stuff that's still going on. From your standpoint- so I guess maybe it's a two part question. Like what do you think is the next fight that people are going to be going after? But secondly, what do you think your role in that is with the platform that you have? David Auten: Sure. I think John and I have had a little bit of discussion around this, and one of the things that we are very cognisant of right now is the differences from state to state, and that's one of the keys for us as individuals. I live in Colorado, you live in I think Connecticut? Jenn T Grace: Yes. David Auten: Is that right? Right, yeah and other people live in all these variety of other states. The laws that are affecting you as an individual, that will impact you the most are the ones that are at the state level. I think of individuals, and we've found this out recently, if you're a gay man or woman you can adopt a child in Florida. John Schneider: That law just changed, I was corrected. Until recently. David Auten: Right, but when you got married you were not allowed to adopt. So it's through our efforts as individuals going at the state level and saying, 'How can we make our laws more inclusive of all our community?' I think it's four states have laws that protect transgendered individuals in the workplace, we already said that 28 states have laws that allows an individual to be fired because they're gay. That's a state level issue, and when we can equalize things at the state level, then we're getting protections for everyone. And so that's one of our facets that we're fighting for now. We are going to be working at having individuals on the Queer Money Podcast that highlight those state level issues so that all of us can be aware of how different things are at the state level. It's very easy for us to say, "Oh well yeah, you live in the United States, you should be out." Well if you live in a small town in Arkansas and your life and your family is dependent upon the job that you have, and you don't want to move to a big city, or you can't afford to move to a big city, it may not be easy for you to be out. So we want to help try to change thinking at the state level right now. Jenn T Grace: I think that's so important. So I was just at a conference and I was on a panel with a couple of people from large corporations and we were talking about supplier diversity, and being an LGBT-owned business and how by announcing that you're an LGBT-owned business to a company that you want to do business with- so say you're in Michigan and you want to do business with Kellogg's, it's all well and good that you have now outed yourself to this company, but what ramifications does that have if you're in a remote town in Michigan where it's not acceptable for you to actually be out. So you're outing yourself for this business opportunity, but at the same time are you putting your personal safety potentially at risk. And there's this very interesting balance of when it's safe to be out and when it's not safe to be out, and I think that for people maybe- I'm not entirely sure about the climate in Colorado but I know in Connecticut it's far less of an issue here and it has been far less of an issue for a very long time. But I know that if you go to Tennessee for example, it's a totally, totally other story. So it almost seems that having people in places like myself, or even possibly you, where we're in better situations so we can advocate for different states to kind of get that same level of equality that obviously we're all searching for. John Schneider: Yeah Denver's pretty inclusive, we can hold our hands pretty much anywhere. But that's why I think it's incumbent upon us to spread that message. We're in the safe space, it's our responsibility, those who have more need to do more, and so it's incumbent upon us to use our platform and to use the safe space that we live in to make lives better for our brothers and sisters elsewhere. Jenn T Grace: Yeah you're public figures, you have no choice at this point. David Auten: And I think that's part of the reason why John and I make a concerted effort to reach out to some of those larger financial publications that are read by millions and millions of people across the country. We know that our article about being a gay couple and paying off our debt was read by individuals who live in small towns across America, and it's going to be the individuals who are reading that that are gay, that are going to be let's hope inspired by that to do the same, or to just feel comfortable about who they are. But it's also the individuals who are not who see that and say, "Yahoo Finance cares about gay people. That's interesting." Or "Business Insider cares about gay people. That's interesting." Or I should say 'queer.' They care about queer individuals. It just changes that message or that conversation in their head, and our whole- John and I have talked about this for a long time. Winning hearts and minds of individuals who are enemies when it comes to our lifestyle is one of the benefits that we have of being public figures, and we want to do that. Jenn T Grace: It's a responsibility, yeah absolutely. I love it, we're so on the same page on so many things, I love it. So for people who are listening and now they're interested, they want to get out of debt or they just want to learn more about you, where are all the ways in which they can find you? John Schneider: We are the Debt Free Guys, and so we're at www.DebtFreeGuys.com, and on Facebook and Twitter you can find us at Debt Free Guys. We have our book, '4: The Four Principles of a Debt Free Life' on www.Amazon.com and a couple other places, but I think Amazon is the easiest. And then like we suggested if it's not already apparent, our main focus right now is the Queer Money Podcast, which is on iTunes and Stitcher and Sound Cloud. We also have some of our videos for the podcast on YouTube at Debt Free Guys. So that's where our primary focus is right now, and we would love for anyone who listens to our podcast because of listening to your podcast to share with us any feedback; if they like anything, hate anything, if there's anything they want us to talk about, or anyone they think we need to reach out to, we would love to have that feedback. Jenn T Grace: Perfect, I like it. And for the listeners, your first and last names? I know you said your first names in the beginning but just for the sake of it. John Schneider: I'm John Schneider. David Auten: And I've David Auten. Jenn T Grace: Perfect. Beautiful! Well thank you so much for coming on the show, this will be out shortly, and of course all the stuff that we talked about, I'll make sure that I have links all in the show notes for the audience to just find this much easier. But thank you, this has been great, I really appreciate it. John Schneider: Absolutely and thank you for the opportunity. When you have links and whatnot, let us know and we'll absolutely flood our social media with it as well. Jenn T Grace: Beautiful, you bet. It should be out on- my plan is going to be the 29th, so September 29th. John Schneider: Okay so I'll put you on our event calendar on our website. And then a long time ago we had talked about having you on our podcast, so I'll send you some information, see if we can schedule that. Jenn T Grace: Yeah that would be awesome. Yeah, I would love to help in any way I can. It would be perfect. John Schneider: Great, awesome. Jenn T Grace: Well have a great rest of your day, I really appreciate it. John Schneider: Thanks you too, bye bye. Jenn T Grace: Thank you for listening to today's podcast. If there are any links from today's show that you are interested in finding, save yourself a step and head on over to www.JennTGrace.com/thepodcast. And there you will find a backlog of all of the past podcast episodes including transcripts, links to articles, reviews, books, you name it. It is all there on the website for your convenience. Additionally if you would like to get in touch with me for any reason, you can head on over to the website and click the contact form, send me a message, you can find me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter all at JennTGrace. And as always I really appreciate you as a listener, and I highly encourage you to reach out to me whenever you can. Have a great one, and I will talk to you in the next episode.

#89: How to Own a Room (or crowd) with Robbie Samuels

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2016 47:53

How to Own a Room (or crowd) with Robbie Samuels Jenn T Grace: You are listening to the Personal Branding for the LGBTQ Professional Podcast, episode 89. Introduction: Welcome to the Personal Branding for the LGBTQ Professional Podcast; the podcast dedicated to helping LGBTQ professionals and business owners grow their business and careers through the power of leveraging their LGBTQ identities in their personal brand. You'll learn how to market your products and services both broadly, and within the LGBTQ community. You'll hear from incredible guests who are leveraging the power of their identity for good, as well as those who haven't yet started, and everyone in between. And now your host. She teaches straight people how to market to gay people, and gay people how to market themselves. Your professional lesbian, Jenn - with two N's - T Grace. Jenn T Grace: Well hello and welcome to episode 89 of the Personal Branding for the LGBTQ Professional Podcast. I am your host, Jenn Grace, and in line with the last half dozen episodes or so being interviews, I have another interview for you today. I'm so excited to welcome Robbie Samuels to today's podcast, where we really dive deep into personal branding from a networking type of component, or from a networking aspect. So we talk about what it means to strategically network, and volunteering, and how to work a room if you will. And Robbie's business is around helping people do just that, helping them network with sessions. So he's a public speaker, he does a session called The Art of the Schmooze as well as a variety of other types of sessions and speaking engagements, which all focus around building great relationships and strong and welcoming communities. His website is www.RobbieSamuels.com so I'm really excited to basically just dive right into today's episode where you will learn a lot about networking, and how that can be good for your business whether you are an introvert who might be afraid to show up to a networking event, to the very outgoing extrovert, and everyone in between. For any information that Robbie and I talk about in today's episode, you can go to www.JennTGrace.com/89 and that is for episode number 89. And without further ado, here is my interview with Robbie. Alright so let's just start if you will by telling the listeners a little bit about yourself, what you're up to currently, and then we'll just dive into some things about personal branding. Robbie Samuels: Thank you so much Jenn, and I appreciate being on your show. So a little bit about me. Well I am currently a work-at-home dad to a five and a half month old which is the first and foremost thing on my mind. The work part gets a little bit in quotes because I'm still working out the schedule of what works while having an infant. But also focusing on my business as a professional speaker, and that mainly is that I get asked to come and speak to companies, to nonprofits, boards of directors, et cetera to talk to them about relationship building. And my most requested session is called Art of the Schmooze. And so we can dive more into the different topics I do later, but part of building that business which I started on the side as sort of a side hustle in 2009, and then went full time in 2015, part of that is working on launching a podcast called On the Schmooze where I interview leaders from different sectors, and ask them about how they've built their professional networks and stayed in touch with people, and what success looks like for them. And I'm also blogging regularly on the topics of relationship building, networking tips, et cetera. That's kind of where I'm at currently. Jenn T Grace: Nice, okay good now I have about fourteen questions which I knew would happen. So to start, how did you come up with the topic of the On the Schmooze? Like how did that form and evolve? Robbie Samuels: On the Schmooze as the podcast or Art of the Schmooze the session? Jenn T Grace: The session first, and then I think the podcast we can get into next. Robbie Samuels: Sure so Art of the Schmooze actually came about- I was running a group that I started ten years ago called Socializing for Justice, and this is a cross-cultural, cross-issue progressive community and network in Boston that really brings together likeminded progressives. And about a year in to organizing that, I recognized that there were regulars who came to all of our events. They weren't focused on only one type of event, they came to everything. And I was concerned that this group was going to become very clicky. And we've all experienced coming into a space for the first time, we've assumed that everybody else is best friends, nobody else is new, and it's very awkward as a newcomer. So I wanted this to continue to be a very welcoming space so I invited the regulars out for coffee and we started chatting about what it takes to make that kind of welcoming space. I asked them if they would come fifteen minutes early, and they said yes. I asked them if they would maybe help out at the front door in a more formal role of greeting or helping with nametags, sure. And then I said for that first hour, go out of your way to meet someone you don't know. Like just try to meet some of the new people and introduce them to the other regulars, and they said, "Sure we could do that." I said, "Okay then after that just kind of mingle and work the room," and that's where I got a lot of angsty responses because the room that I was talking to was filled with people who were shy and/or introverted, and so the idea of floating a room, chatting with strangers was the antithesis of a good time for them. So I started coaching one-on-one, started sharing some tips. I'm an outgoing extrovert so I wasn't trying to teach them how to be me, I actually don't really want the world to be filled with more outgoing extroverts. I think there's enough people who speak with very little prompting and take up a lot of space. But I did want them to be seen, heard and respected when they arrived in a room, and to be part of creating this welcoming culture. And it worked. The training evolved from there because speaking one-to-one was not a good use of my time, and I guess that was probably around 2007, 2008 that I first created this training, this session, and it evolved until 2009 I started getting paid to do speaking engagements on a variety of topics, and that has become my most requested one. And it's helped such a wide array of audiences really be more present and mindful and strategic about their networking too. So it's about body language, and eye contact and business cards, but it's also about just taking that time to figure out why are you going to this event in the first place? And then going from there. So it's chock full of information, two hour interactive training, and I love doing it because really people clearly remember a lot of the content which is so rare in a training. Jenn T Grace: No kidding, right? So how did you take it from this free offering you were doing with your people, and then you moved it to this one-on-one coaching situation with people, and now fast forward to 2009 you're able to get paid to be doing this. What made that leap really natural or maybe unnatural for you? Robbie Samuels: So what's funny is that, Jenn I love doing professional speaking because I've always loved doing public speaking. When I was in college I was on a speaker's bureau, and I did a variety of trainings, and there was this gap of about a dozen years where I just didn't have a topic. So when the opportunity came to create this and share it, I started to share it from like 2007 to 2009, I was just sharing it with any organization locally that I thought would benefit. So lots of really, really small grassroots groups I kind of met with and helped them out. In 2009 a former colleague of mine- actually not someone I worked with but someone I'd known years ago, and I hadn't actually lived in the same state in probably seven or eight years. She reached out to me and said, "I know that you're doing these talks on networking, and I know that you are a fundraiser," because that was my profession, I was working a nonprofit organizing fundraising events doing major gift work. She said, "Will you come to D.C. and do a fundraising training for my board of directors?" So my answer of course was, "Um yes," and then I went and created a training called Fundraising: Getting Past the Fear of Asking. And I went down to D.C., this organization offered me $200 which was very little money in the world of speaking but I'd never been paid before so I also was really excited. They paid my plane ticket and I shared a hotel room with my friend. And when I got there, it was actually the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association so they were doctors, and they were there for their convention, and they have to talk to people about membership. So fundraising wasn't something they felt very comfortable with, but they were having a break and I went in, and I got a chance to meet all of them, and one by one I memorized their names and when they sat down around the table, and were about to begin, I said, "Oh we should do introductions," and I said, "Oh allow me." And I then introduced each of them one by one around the table. Jenn T Grace: And how many were there? Robbie Samuels: Eighteen or so. Jenn T Grace: Jesus that's awesome. Robbie Samuels: And they sat up straighter and just were like, "Whatever you have to tell us Robbie, we will listen." Jenn T Grace: That's awesome. Robbie Samuels: So that was my first time being paid, but what I did strategically was that when I billed them, I billed them $400 and then applied a 50% referral discount, and I did this because I knew that I needed to get my own mind around the value of what I was offering. And so they only were budgeted to give me $200 but I billed them $400 and then put a 50% referral discount so that the total was $200. And for the next year whenever someone asked me about doing a training, I said, "Oh my usual fee is $400," and then I slid it to whatever was comfortable for their budget because I was still working a lot with really small grass roots or volunteer run organizations. And then a year later this organization, I said $400, they said great without blinking an eye. I was like, okay. And I then increased it to $600 and again spent another year sliding it to whatever was comfortable for people. And then a year later it went to $800, and now it's gone on up. So really a lot of that is that the content for those trainings has gotten better in the years since I started doing this in 2009 because they're way more robust, I've presented it dozens and dozens of times. But it's also my own belief in my own value of what I can offer an organization. So I think that's a trick into how do you sort of move into being an entrepreneur and believing in what you're offering. For me I had to kind of put a value out there, and then allow the dollar amount to be settled along the way. Jenn T Grace: Yeah I feel like that's definitely something that I find a lot of people are stuck on. Is 'what am I worth?' And I feel like people get stuck in how to value that, especially when you're looking at speakers. And I know you're part of the National Speakers Association, and I believe it says that you're a professional member which means that you are out there speaking a lot in order to be qualified if you will for that level of membership. So I think that a lot of people, they'll go from doing it for free and then immediately think that they have to jump to charging $5,000 for a talk. And you just clearly outlined that going from zero to $5,000 is not the avenue, but it's a matter of incrementally going further and further with what you're comfortable with, which I think you'll see more success if you gradually do it, rather than sticking a flag in the sand tomorrow and saying, "I'm now charging $5,000 for this" because your mindset may not actually be caught up with what you're asking, in my experience anyways. Robbie Samuels: You know Jenn, I've learned so much more about mindsets since 2009. I think every training that I've purchased online about online business, and being an entrepreneur starts with mindset. But I agree with you, that is what I was trying to do at the time. I also think that the client list has to really change for me to be charging $5,000. And so I'm pivoting now into working more with corporate organizations versus smaller nonprofits. So like right now my client list is more larger nonprofits and corporations, and it's exciting because it's a totally new market for me to be connecting with, and of course their ability budget-wise is very different than a really small organization. I feel like I want to have a nice balance portfolio though, where I still can offer- particularly on a local level where it's not involving a lot of travel, I want to offer these skills to organizations that I think will just benefit but couldn't otherwise have me come in. And one way I've done that is foundations. So for me, a foundation will have me come in for a half day or full day of trainings, and they'll invite all of their grantees, and so they're getting to bring me in and do this sort of like assistance, technical assistance, and capacity building, and it's great because the funding is actually coming from the foundation and the grantees just get to benefit from it. Jenn T Grace: Interesting. So for me, I have a similar setup that what you're describing where I do a lot of corporate engagements, and you can get paid good money for corporate engagements. So mine right now on average are right around like $9,500 for a corporate gig. That is not something a nonprofit in any way, shape or form could handle, but I feel like to some degree it's almost like my ability to give back when I do work with that smaller audience, but just because you're working with a smaller audience doesn't mean that there aren't ways to capitalize on that time in the room. So you can ask them in advance if they would send out emails to their list of people, however many that might be, or if you have a book to have them offer- give you the spotlight to kind of pitch your book to the room. So there's a lot of ways that even if you're only making $300, or even if you're not making any and it's completely pro bono, there's still ways that you can ask them for things because they're usually more than happy to do that because they understand the value that they're getting at no charge. Robbie Samuels: And actually speaking of that Jenn, even when I've slid my training- I no longer do completely zero, but I've slid it to like $100 for a lower organization, or $250 or something just to kind of- I want them to be committing to having me come in as a professional speaker, but I also let them know what my top rate is so that they know what they're getting. Because I think that sometimes when it is free, and this is also true for anyone who's attending and not having to pay to attend, they often don't commit the time in advance of what they want to get out of it. So when I'm brought into some audiences where they pay, I ask them if they looked ahead of time to research who I was. 'Did you Google me? Did you get a sense of what I was going to be talking about?' And more hands go up because they committed their own dollars, even if it's a little bit of money. But if it's a free event and I ask that question they're like, "Well I was just told to be here." Jenn T Grace: And that's the same thing for everything, right? So if you do someone's telesummit online for example, and there's all of this amazing content- because there are a lot of telesummits out there, and a lot of webinars, a lot of online content that is really amazing, but if you're not paying for it the chances of you taking action on it are so much more greatly reduced. Versus if you're like, 'You know what? I just signed up for this person's course. It's three months, it just cost me $1,000.' You bet your ass people are fully committed and all in on making sure that they get every possible minute of value out of that particular program. And it's the same thing with showing up to speak, I totally agree. Robbie Samuels: Yeah, mindset. Jenn T Grace: Totally is mindset. So in terms of mindsets, and balancing the fact that you're now a stay-at-home dad. So Grant is young, and so how are you finding that you're able to grow your personal brand? And one of the reasons why I wanted you on the show is because if you go to your website which is www.RobbieSamuels.com and that will be in the show notes, I feel like you have- it's really succinct and very clear as to what you do, who you are, the types of clients that you work with. But how are you finding that growing your personal brand is kind of balancing with fatherhood right now? Because I can't imagine- my kids are seven and nine and I still have challenges at times. So having a five and a half month old is definitely a challenge unto its own. So how is that working for you right now? Robbie Samuels: Well I think part of my personal brand is that I am a convener and a connector, and I can't turn that part of me off. So when there was a new challenge of being a new parent, I basically dove right in. And so in August before my son was even born- he was born in mid-December of 2015, in August a few months beforehand, I actually started an online Facebook group for parents with children around my kid's age. And it is now over 400 members and we're hosting a monthly baby clothing swap and other socials, and cross-promoting a lot of great content, as well as having an amazing online support system. So by doing that and making an effort in the first few months to really show up with him to a lot of different parent groups, I've now established myself in a very short amount of time within this sort of parent network in Boston. So wherever I go, someone says- they either know me or they know of me and they say, "Oh I'm in your group. Hey everybody, this is Robbie." So to me that was really important because as a work-at-home, stay-at-home dad I knew that during the week I was going to be around a lot of moms. And so this is sort of a weird catch 22 of being praised for being a dad for doing little things, but being ostracized on the playground on the other hand. So now by offering, by being someone who hosts and convenes people, and creates value, I'm just practicing what I'm preaching in 'Art of the Schmooze,' and with all my training material, and all my blog posts and the podcast that I'll be launching, which is to offer, offer, offer before you ask. And it's wonderful because people know what I do, they're learning a little bit more about my business, I'm quite certain that as we get past the only knowing each other because we're parents, we'll start to know each other's work and professions, and there will start to be connections there as well. And so that's been something I've put a lot of energy into in the last year, is establishing sort of these foundational support networks because I want those for my family. And it's basically me practicing this philosophy of abundance. I'm at the point now where if I can imagine something that we might need for our family, I can put it out there to these different groups, and somebody will find it for us and respond, and offer to just bring it to us for free. So that's been a part of my personal brand; people now in this new sphere now know me. But really my personal brand has been a lot about that. Like Socializing for Justice, the group I mentioned earlier is turning ten years old this year. No one is paid to run that. We've had a few hundred events, we have almost 3,000 members, and it's all run by small donations that people give at the events. And it's been a wonderful sort of place to meet people, I met all my best friends, I met my wife through this, and again it's been really about offering before I ask. So when I launched my business sort of formally in 2015 after working for ten years at the same nonprofit, and saying, "Okay I'm going to take a side hustle, and I'm going to go into this full time," this was before my son was born, I was able to really do that without feeling like I was on my own because I had so much support and there were so many people who had just been like waiting for me to do this. So I think my personal brand is not just topic-based which is networking and Schmooze, I think people know me, but so many people thought that Socializing for Justice was my full time work because that's how they knew me. They didn't even know I actually had a very full- more than full time career that was separate from that. So I think offering is a big part of my brand. Jenn T Grace: Yeah and it makes me think about ways in which people can continue networking outside of the traditional networking opportunities. So I think that what you're talking about is really important for people just to build more relationships that have meaning and value. And I think this probably might be specific to some industries probably wouldn't make sense for this. So actually maybe they would. I'm just thinking about how you have your parents' group, right? So there's 400 people in it, it's an opportunity for you to build new relationships with people outside of a transactional 'I'm trying to sell you' environment. But rather like you said, over time you'll start to develop those relationships and if you happen to need an attorney, granted there's guaranteed somebody in that group who's some kind of practicing attorney for some particular part of law. So it's kind of like a- it's a different way of looking at networking. So I would wonder if you were to give a tip to somebody, because this obviously comes really natural to you, to be the convener, to be the person who's putting together- putting bodies in a room and getting them to connect and work together. So for somebody who might be in introvert, or not even fully a shy person necessarily, but somebody who this is uncomfortable for, so somebody- a client, type of client that you've worked with in the past. What's one or two tips that you would give to them to help them be more of a convener so they can take advantage of networking opportunities where they least expect them to be? Robbie Samuels: I think it's wonderful. One thing is to realize that networking is just a matter of being in the world, and present, and aware of who's around you. So it doesn't have to be at a formal event. Someone I know wrote about their experience of having a conversation like online with the DMV, and that it dawned on her in that moment that that was networking. That they ended up into a whole conversation that they actually discovered a connection in the time they were standing around together, and it's just being open to that experience is a piece of it. The other thing is that I actually think convening and being a host for me is actually a way to overcome a fear that I have of not belonging. So I'm sure I'm not alone in feeling like, 'Hm I'm not sure if these people are going to like me. I don't know whether I belong here.' And particularly in the context of being a dad in a new parent space knowing that there aren't going to be a lot of dads wherever I go during the week. That convening parents in this way was a way for me to become known, and for people to appreciate what I have to offer because I am giving them a space to connect online, and then by hosting these monthly baby clothing swaps, I mean we're all benefitting from those resources being shared. And similarly with Socializing for Justice, by starting that it gave me a reason to talk to other people wherever I went in Boston because I had this resource to share, and all the regulars started doing that as well. It gave them sort of an opening of something to talk about. 'Oh you're new to Boston? You might want to check out this group. Oh you're looking to promote your events? Oh here, this group can help you.' They would be very clear ways into the conversation. Now you don't have to start by launching a whole huge group or anything like that, but you can whether online or offline create sort of these niche conversations. And one way to do that offline is something that I've done a lot with my good friend Dorie Clark, and I know you interviewed her earlier on this podcast. But we co-host dinners together, and she's really taken this to an art form. But we started doing this years ago, and we each would invite three or four colleagues and go out to dinner, and just like have a loosely- sort of loosely defined conversation that allowed people to bring more of their full selves, and that's the important part. Is that it's not so strictly business because when people find shared passions, they're both really, really into yoga, that actually can break down barriers much faster than finding out they're both lawyers. So creating opportunities like that are great because as the host of that small dinner gathering, even if you're a shyer person and have a hard time really kind of wandering into an open networking event, this is different, these are people that were hand selected to be here with you, and your whole role is to help them feel welcomed and comfortable. And so it really shifts things in your head, you become that host which is I think a mentality that we can all bring with us wherever we go. Jenn T Grace: I could not agree more. I was thinking about- when you were just talking about being a host, I remember when I first started learning about chambers of commerce, which is now an actual ten years ago, and I remember going to events and being somewhat frozen in fear of like I didn't know where to be, I didn't know where to go, I didn't know who to talk to, I didn't know anybody, I had travelled halfway across the state to get there, and it was all very awkward to me. But within a couple of months I'm like, 'You know what? My happy place is sitting behind the registration table because now I'm in control and I'm able to talk to every single person who comes in the room, but I have a purpose and a reason to be talking to them.' So I feel like for me it was just a matter of like how can I take this really awkward situation and find a way to network with people in a way that didn't feel threatening to me? And it happened to be helping people find their nametag. It seemed so simple, but for me it was a complete game changer because then you're able to follow up with people after the fact and say, "We only got a quick chance to say hello when you checked in, but I'd love to have coffee with you." So I think it's a matter of finding little ways to take yourself from being completely frozen and afraid of the situation that you're walking in, and making it easier and more attainable. And I think your idea of just having a couple people together that you don't know, and then- like you said it really comes back to mindset of being like, 'Okay my job here is not to be networking. My job here is to make sure that everyone else is networking.' But really when you're helping other people network you are yourself too, and it's just completely like you're fooling yourself, but it works. Robbie Samuels: Yeah Jenn, I talk a lot about the difference between inviting and welcoming. So as event planners we sit around and talk about who we wished attended our events. 'Oh I wish there were more of X people,' and we brainstorm where those folks might get information about our event. And so we send the invitation to new list serves, or post it on new bulletin boards, et cetera. And then those new folks and other folks arrive, but no one actually greets them. You know they sign in, they get their nametag, they circle the room, they look for an opening, they don't really find one, they stand around awkwardly, and then they leave shortly after. And then the next time we get together as the event planners we talk about retention, and how- well what can we do to keep these people that we made this effort? What could we do? And the answer to what we could do is put more of an emphasis on the welcoming than the inviting, and that's where 'Art of the Schmooze' was training our regulars to be hosts. Because it can't just be me, the person who booked the room, who greets people because often the person who booked the room is also dealing with AV, or catering, or some- getting a banner hung up. They're distracted in that time period when the first awkward newcomer arrives, which is usually even a few minutes before the official start time. So that's why we ask our regulars to arrive fifteen minutes early so that the event was sort of already happening when those first few newcomers arrive not knowing where to stand and what to do. And re-coach them to talk to those new folks and introduce them to the other regulars in the room. And just by doing these couple of things, and asking them to play this host role, it awakened within them this like sense of purpose in the room. Like I now have a role, and so matter how shy they were or how introverted and exhausted they found this sort of being in a space with a lot of people, they started to see, 'Oh there's someone standing off by themselves-' and they used to ask me permission at first. They'd be like, "Robbie should I go talk to them?" And I was like, "Yeah, that'd be great." Now they just do it. They just go over, and they chat with them, and then they introduce them to someone else. Now that's really different than if you really are that brand new person. If you're a guest and you've never been here before and you go and talk to the wallflower, you might have a great conversation, but neither one of you knows anyone else in the room and that's going to be a really difficult ending to the conversation. So I always ask people to be really mindful when they walk into a space, are they a guest like as in they're brand new, or have they been there a few times? And I think if you just show up three times within a space, within an organization’s events, or within an industry's events and you kind of get to know people. At that point you can really start to think of yourself as a host, and the way you kind of mingle in that room is going to be different. Jenn T Grace: And now how do you think connectors fit into this? Because I know for myself, and so since I'm networking primarily in LGBT environments it's a much smaller community, even in a larger city like Boston. But for myself I know that my style is usually if I just start talking to somebody random, which I typically have very little problems just going up and starting a conversation with somebody. But if I hear them say something that triggered a thought about a conversation I just had, I will walk that person from where I am to that other person and be like, "They two of you have to connect," and I will just go through the room and continue to do this, because I feel like to a certain degree you have to be mindful of your time, and there might be 100 people in the room and you want to be making sure that you're having conversations that are helpful to further your own agenda if you will. I don't like using that phrase but you know what I mean. How do you find that people who are natural connectors, or people who aren't natural connectors but would like to be, how do they fit into this equation, and where is their role? Robbie Samuels: Well so Malcolm Gladwell talked about connectors, and they know a lot of people and they like to connect them. And so some of us very naturally fall into that category, and you and I both do. And so exactly how you described the scene, I do that but I also have introduced two people who are just standing next to each other, and they assume that there's a reason I did that and they ask each other questions until they find that connection, and then they'll come running over excitedly saying, "Oh how did you know we both went to southern California schools?" You know so I think that it's interesting that I created a space where people are looking for those connections. On the other hand I think everybody has the ability to be a connector, and I'll give you a quick example. I was at a huge conference, 18,000 people, there was this like after party / networking event with like loud music, dark lights, not conducive actually to networking. The first person I chatted with was a college student, I haven't been in college in a decade or longer, so on the surface we had very little in common. And we chatted for a few minutes and at the end I said, "You know I don't know very many people here. Is there anyone you think I should meet?" And he got really excited, and he told me someone's name, and I said, "Oh that's great. I'd love to be introduced." And he grabbed my hand, and he dragged me through the crowd up to his intern's supervisor who was the Communications Director of a nonprofit that I'd wanted to get to know. And he introduced us, and I said, "Thank you so much," and I turned to the Communications Director and started chatted with him, and the student walked away all peacocked, 'I just did that. I just made that connection.' And how many people did he need to know in the room to be a connector? Just the one. And the other piece of this story is that you can't discount people because they're students, or assistants, or receptionists, et cetera, because they're all working for important people who have interns, and assistants, and receptionists. So he got super excited to make that connection, and it helped me leapfrog in this very large, loud crowd over to a good conversation. Like you said, you want to try to talk to the kinds of people you want to talk to. And that is my philosophy. I want to- that's my way of ending a conversation, if I'm in a room and I don't know a lot of people I ask that question, and otherwise I'll ask the reverse. If I'm hosting I'll say, "You know, I know a lot of people here, is there anyone you want to be introduced to?" And I'll just offer that, and that's a nice way to wrap up a conversation gracefully, but also help them or you kind of leapfrog to what hopefully is going to be another meaningful conversation. Jenn T Grace: Yeah, absolutely. I love the direction that we've been going in this conversation. One of the things that I'm thinking about is the fact that you grew your brand very organically, and I feel like mine was the same way. Like it just- there was very clear this led to this, which led to this, and now here we are. For someone listening to this who- so you know it's the Personal Branding for the LGBTQ Professional Podcast. So in thinking about personal branding, and then also thinking about the LGBTQ community, how has the LGBTQ piece influenced what you're doing or not influenced what you're doing? Robbie Samuels: Well I wanted to work- when I moved to Boston in 2002 from New York, I wanted to work for a mission driven progressive organization that hosted multiple annual events. And I did a lot of contract work in my first couple years in Boston working at a number of different LGBT and HIV/AIDS healthcare organizations before I ended up at GLAD, GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders, formerly Gay and Lesbian Advocates & Defenders based in Boston. And I think that the strategic volunteering that I did to get those first few jobs was really important. Volunteering for the health organizations doing outreach, volunteering at the AIDS walk, and this was all before I actually moved to Boston. I was coming every other weekend to do some sort of volunteer effort. So I think strategic volunteering was important, and then here I had this job where I was working at an LGBT mission driven organization, and I did that for a decade so I didn't feel like I needed to focus the rest of my life within that sphere. But for me I guess the way it influences me is that I'm an out trans man who is out online, I'm out when I do my trainings I talk about it, I talk about it in the context of feeling like a unicorn, and that we all know what it feels like to be a unicorn. You know like, 'Wow I didn't know unicorns existed. Can I ask you lots of questions? Hey what's it like to-' and there's a downside to being unicorn, to being sort of put under that spotlight, and that we don't want to do that to other people when we meet them. We want to avoid questions that are actually about something that someone can't choose. Like height, or skin color, or hair texture. But we want to more focus on things that people do choose, like their funky sunglasses, or the scarf they're wearing, et cetera. And so I do talk about it and I feel like my activism around LGBT, queer, trans politics has actually been to being an out professional, and to be out as a person who's organizing a cross-issue progressive community movement in Boston so that it wasn't like a singular focused issue-based organization when I started Socializing for Justice, but it was this like multi-faceted space that was extremely welcoming to queer and trans people, but it wasn't exclusively about queer and trans people. And we host an annual dating while progressive event on Valentine's Day and we use the exact same networking tags that we've used at our other major events. One says, 'Ask me about,' and the other says, 'I'm looking for.' Jenn T Grace: I love it. Robbie Samuels: There's no like check these different boxes if you're this and this, and if you're looking for this and this. It's like you throw a bunch of people in a room and they meet people, and they find connections, and they find friendships, and I love that like we're co-hosted by a number of progressive organizations including the Queer Poly Women Organization, and I just think like part of my activism is creating these spaces that allow so many different kinds of identities to be present. Because for most of us, most of the time when we're out in the world, we're only really able to be seen for one of our identities, and we're not able to really bring forward the complexity of who we are. So I want to create spaces where we can bring more of our full selves and share that, because that's actually how I think we form really strong connections. Jenn T Grace: And in that vein I guess then, that's really being authentic. It's being authentic to you, it's being authentic to your brand, and because it's authentic I feel like that's probably why you're seeing the success you're seeing because they get what they get. Like you are who you are, you're not trying to adapt or modify for different audiences, you're just kind of all in everywhere. Is that a fair statement? Robbie Samuels: Yeah I think about this also, about what do I post on Facebook? And my Facebook is public so you don't have to be friends- I don't know all my friends anyway is my thought pattern, so I thought why close it to friends only? So I get involved in some political conversations, I get involved in some issue conversations online, and for me I'm of the vein if you're not going to work with me because of my points of view, then that's okay. Jenn T Grace: Amen to that. Robbie Samuels: I don't want to like twist myself into a pretzel just because that's the pretzel you were looking for, if that's not how I'm feeling. And so it calls to me some people, and I'm sure that it repels other people, but it makes it a lot easier though to sort of choose who you want to work with because they're choosing to work with you. Jenn T Grace: Absolutely. I always say that going by the Professional Lesbian is such a gift because it weeds out people that would not resonate with me to begin with. So I don't ever have to worry when I get on a sales call, or a potential client call, and they are the ones who requested, I know that that's not going to be an issue and that's not going to be a barrier. And mind you half the time they are- more than half the time they're hiring me for something LGBT-specific, so one would imagine that wouldn't be the case. But for the times where I'm working with an ally helping them write a book for example, knowing that I go by Professional Lesbian, they know automatically that it's going to be a safe and welcoming environment for them and whatever identity they may be bringing to the table that may not actually be part of the LGBT community, but they have something that's making them fearful. So it gives people some kind of sense of comfort if you will. So I think that's great because it's really a matter of not wanting to work with people who are disingenuine, right? Like who wants to- we have our own businesses for a reason and it's not to be working with people that we don't like, which is what happens when you're working for someone else. So let's see, so we have probably about five minutes to go here. So for someone listening to this who isn't yet where you are, or yet where I am in terms of developing their brand, what would be the one action step you think that they could take today, right now, as soon as they're done listening to this they could go do X. What do you think that might be to get them at least thinking or headed in the right direction to help really kind of build their personal brand? Robbie Samuels: Well I think having some clarity about what you'd want that personal brand to be is important. I was following on Twitter a very well-known woman who works in the intersection of technology, and nonprofit, and mission driven organizations, and every couple of tweets was a cat video, or something like that. And she one day sort of sent out a note and asked people for their thoughts and whether she should separate her Twitter accounts so that her sort of tech, and nonprofit, and mission drive content was separate from her cat jokes content. And the overwhelming response was yes. And so she did that, and so some people follow both, and some chose one or the other. And I thought that was such a good example of being aware of the fact that you have an audience, and as you build that audience they're gravitating to you because of something that you're sharing to the world, but that sometimes the content you're sharing doesn't resonate with everybody. And so starting to be a little more focused or create separate channels for interests that are very varied and not having enough overlap. So I think that's also true on my Facebook page, for instance there's a wide array of what I talk about, but it's within a very progressive frame. You know? I also don't write hateful things, I don't write anti things, I don't allow people to post anti messages. You can write anything for anyone that you want to talk about, but you can't write nasty things. Jenn T Grace: It has to be respectful. Robbie Samuels: It has to be respectful. I'd rather everyone talk about what they're for in the world, and so many of us are framing our thoughts and our positions based on what we're against. So I think getting some clarity about what is it that you want people to see you for, and then curating what you put out in the world more as you go forward. Start to be a little more curated about what you share publicly, and maybe creating separate channels that have different sort of foci, that's what it is that you are feeling very divergent in what your interests are. People will then start to see what you're talking about and either gravitate towards it or not; that will be how you create an audience. Because I've read about this needing to have 1,000 fans, that's it. If you had 1,000 people who were truly committed to the work that you're doing, and would buy anything you sold them just because you're offering it to the world, then you're fine, you've made it, that is success. No matter what you do, you'll be successful. But it's hard to find those 1,000 devoted fans if your content is a little bit all over the place, because you don't have 1,000 fans in one topic, you have 1,000 fans for three different topics, and that's not 1,000, that's a third. Jenn T Grace: Yeah that is such good, good information. I feel like we could talk for hours just on this- kind of go down a rabbit hole here. But just thinking about even my content, you would think that LGBT marketing, communications, business would be specific enough, but even with me it's not specific enough. I have- it's very broad, and there's a lot of different people who come to it for very different reasons. So even what you're saying in terms of kind of segmenting things out, even I run into that and you would think that my niche is niche enough, but it's far from. And I think that most people actually have that type of challenge where they think that they're talking about technology, but really when we break down technology just because somebody wants to hear about this type of technology, by no means means that everyone wants to hear about it. So that is definitely a long process I think for people to fully kind of wrap their head around, but to your point, if they're mindful of that from the onset then that's a really good starting point. So as we wrap up, do you have anything that you're working on, and the listeners will be hearing this on July 21st; so is there anything that is on your radar right now that you want to share with the audience, explain to them how to get in touch with you, and whatever means or fashion that might be? Robbie Samuels: So I am working on launching a podcast called On the Schmooze where I interview leaders from different sectors and ask them questions about what does leadership mean to them, how do they build their professional networks and stay in touch with people they've met across their career, what does work life balance look like? And I had the good fortune of interviewing about ten people prior to my son being born, and I'm now finally re-focusing my energy and effort to launching that this summer. So about the time that this comes out, I will be either having launched it or will have a timetable to be launching it shortly after, and that's www.OnTheSchomooze.com and it's also on my website, www.RobbieSamuels.com which is the best way to reach me. I post blog posts and great content that I just give away. I think it's important to share a lot of value up front, so I have a lot of really great, very practical, implement them today kind of tips on my website that if you're interested in sort of being more thoughtful and strategic rather than wasting your time networking and just randomly collecting business cards; if you want to be more strategic in how you build relationships, I have a lot of great resources and content on my website to help you sort of do that and be more thoughtful in the future. Jenn T Grace: Awesome, thank you so much for being a guest, I really appreciate it. And for anyone listening, I highly recommend checking out Robbie's website, and of course getting in touch and listening, especially as podcast listeners, go check out his because I'm certain it's going to be awesome. So thank you so much and perhaps I'll have you on as a guest a second time and we can go into some more depth on some of the things we covered today. Robbie Samuels: That'd be great Jenn, I'd appreciate it. Jenn T Grace: Thank you for listening to today's podcast. If there are any links from today's show that you are interested in finding, save yourself a step and head on over to www.JennTGrace.com/thepodcast. And there you will find a backlog of all of the past podcast episodes including transcripts, links to articles, reviews, books, you name it. It is all there on the website for your convenience. Additionally if you would like to get in touch with me for any reason, you can head on over to the website and click the contact form, send me a message, you can find me on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter all at JennTGrace. And as always I really appreciate you as a listener, and I highly encourage you to reach out to me whenever you can. Have a great one, and I will talk to you in the next episode.

#87: How Lindsay Felderman Turned a Pile of Words Into an Inspirational Book

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2016 43:37

#87 - How Lindsay Felderman Turned a Pile of Words Into an Inspirational Book [Podcast] Jenn T Grace: You are listening to the Personal Branding for the LGBTQ Professional Podcast, episode 87. Well hello and welcome to episode number 87 of the podcast. I am your host, Jenn Grace, and today I have a special interview for you. As you know for the last probably three months or so at this point, and for probably the next three months to come, I have had nonstop interviews. And I'm so excited to be back on the interview kick, and today I have Lindsay Felderman on, and she is the proud new author of the book, 'Walking through Walls. Finding the Courage to be Your True Self,' and I cannot be more excited to have Lindsay on because she shares her journey of writing and publishing her very first book. Her book talks about the coming out process, and a lot of really kind of amazing things in terms of just getting outside of your comfort zone, and really kind of pushing yourself to realize that you have a story to tell, and your story is important, and your story can impact the world. So it's super exciting to have Lindsay on, and even more so because she is one of the first graduates- or one of seven people who graduated from my spring session of the Purpose Driven Author's Academy, and she's the first of those seven to produce her book through the program. So I could not be any more excited as my second group of authors recently started on June 7th. So I'm in the summer session right now with seven new amazing authors. So it's really kind of cool to have Lindsay on who talks about her experience of writing the book, a little bit about her experience of publishing the book, and kind of the things that have been a little more of a pain versus things that were a little bit easier. So yeah, it's just- it was a really good conversation, and the moral of everything in what we talked about is it's really kind of about finding the courage to just be yourself, whether you are part of the LGBT community or not. So her book is already available on Amazon, which is super exciting, so you can go to Amazon and type in Lindsay Felderman or type in Walking Through Walls, and either way you should find Lindsay's book, and you can purchase it, and I've already read it so I'm excited for you to get your hands on it as well. So that is what I have for an introduction. I don't want to take up any more time, but I do want to let you know that if you want to see the transcript for today's show, if you want to have access to the links that Lindsay and I talk about, if you want a direct link to the Amazon page where you can find her book, you can go to www.JennTGrace.com/87 and that is for episode number 87. So enough of my blabbering on, let's just dive right into the interview with Lindsay. So yeah if you just want to start off by giving the listeners a quick kind of background of yourself, and then we'll get into all the good things about your book. Lindsay Felderman: Okay, I don't even know where to start with a background I guess. Yeah I'm Lindsay, I'm in my late twenties, I am gay and I wanted to write a book about my coming out story because I struggled with my identity for a long time, and I wanted to kind of just share that with the world and show them that it's okay to struggle. But at the end of the day you really should trust your gut and believe in yourself. Yeah. Jenn T Grace: So how long would you say you had been thinking about writing a book? Because I know when we first talked which was like six or eight months ago at this point when you were first thinking about this, that we were talking about how it feels like there's a lot of books out there for this topic, but in the way that you were thinking about it, it just didn't feel like anything was landing for what you were feeling. So how long has that been on your mind? Lindsay Felderman: I probably first started thinking about writing a book probably a little bit after college. When I graduated from college which was in 2006, so I guess like ten years ago- oh now that was high school, college was six years ago. Yeah okay so 2010 I graduated from college, and I don't know, soon after that. I'd been thinking about it, and then a few times I would actually go to like write it on my computer, and start writing, and I always for some reason just had this like inclination that what I had to say didn't really matter, and always ended up just like shutting my computer down and was like, 'Forget this, I don't know why I'm even thinking about doing that.' And then it wasn't until I guess last year, I went to this- I guess you could call it a seminar with Seth- I always mess up his last name. Jenn T Grace: Godin? Lindsay Felderman: Yes. My old boss called him 'Gahdin,' so then like it's in my head as 'Gahdin' but I know it's Godin, so every time I go to say it I like stutter. Anyway I went to a seminar with him, and it was called 'The Ruckusmaker's Seminar,' and basically it was just this whole thing where you were just bringing like a project, an idea that you wanted to make better, and like everybody kind of had the same theme of like making the world a little bit of a better place. So my old job actually sent me to it, which was kind of funny because I didn't really use it for that, which was probably- he doesn't need to know that. I mean I did, I did think about work, but I really was there like personally. People would ask me, "What do you want to do if you're unhappy at your job?" And I was like, "I don't know. I really want to help LGBTQ youth. I don't really know how to do that." At that point- had I started volunteering for GLSEN? Yeah I think I had already started volunteering for GLSEN, so I was doing that. But other than that I was really unsure what I wanted to do. So I just kind of talked to people all weekend about that, how I wasn't really super happy in my corporate marketing job, but I wanted to find something that I felt like I was helping people. And then Seth wrote a book called, 'Your Turn,' and it's just kind of basically just a bunch of passages just talking about all sorts of things about life, and I kind of was sitting there looking at the book on like a break, and I turned it to a page and there was a quote at the bottom and it said, 'The most important book you'll ever read in your life is the one you write yourself.' And I kind of just was like, 'You know what? I've been wanting to do that forever. I really need to stop messing around with it.' So we had to like break up into groups, and I was in with a couple of my friends, and I just was like, "I want to write a book." And they both were like, "Yes, you should, oh my gosh," and I had never really said it out loud or told anybody that I had wanted to, so that was like a really big moment for me when I realized like, 'Yeah I'm going to do this.' And then I actually went up to Seth to thank him for the seminar, and I told him, "I'm going to write a book." And he's like an accomplished author, he's written like twenty books, and I was so nervous to say it, and he just like looked me in the eye and he said, "Yes you will." Jenn T Grace: That's awesome. Lindsay Felderman: I don't know, from there that's when I was like, 'I've got to this. It's something that I really just need to do.' Jenn T Grace: That's awesome. Not everyone can say that Seth Godin said it right to their face that, "Yes you will." That's pretty impressive. Lindsay Felderman: It was cool, yeah. Jenn T Grace: So that's awesome. So in terms of like getting past that place of turning the computer off because you're like, 'I can't do this,' and being completely afraid; how did you get from that hump to actually starting to put words on paper? Because I know that when we finally connected, which wasn't until December, you had already had so much of it finished. So that's like a big kind of emotional and some kind of like mental roadblock type of hurdle that you had to get over. Do you have any specific ways that you feel like you got through that? Lindsay Felderman: I think a lot of it had to do with the confidence in myself that when I had first thought about writing it, I was only like 21 or 22, and you've read the book so you've seen I went through a lot after that. And I think I was finally in a place now to actually believe that what I was saying would matter, and that I kind of know what I'm talking about when- because I'd been through so many things versus just kind of writing about life. And I kind of got more of a vision too of what I wanted to do. When I first would go to write it I kind of just was like writing my thoughts on the world, and kind of how I felt, and I don't really think there was real purpose to it, and so just like over the years realizing my- focusing more on my vision, and then like going to Seth's thing was really like the catalyst because I said it out loud for the first time, I think that was a really huge thing, and I had some validation from my peers saying, "Yes you need to do that," and that was a really huge thing as well. So then at first in order to like kind of start, I started actually writing my blog which I've been horrible at doing this year because I've been focusing on the book, but writing a blog was super helpful too, just kind of like writing in chunks and having people respond to that. And then I just took my computer and started like writing, it kind of was like word vomit, it was literally just write down everything that you can think of that happened in your life, and why that's relevant, or why that would help somebody else. But I'm not going to lie, it was hard. Like every time I would go to do it, it was super emotional for me. I had to be in a spot where I could actually focus on it, and like really just focus on that. And I actually wrote a lot- because I travelled a lot for work, a lot of it I wrote on like planes because it was like easy to be able to just kind of like shut everything down, and there was nobody there to bother me, and I kind of just could like zone in. But I never felt like I could just go in for like twenty minute spurts and just kind of write, because I would- it just kind of lost the emotional feel for me, and it was too much. But it just was really just telling myself, 'Okay you've got to go do this,' and other people asking me about it. "How's your book going?" Or "What are you doing and what are you thinking about?" And I was kind of like, 'Oh yeah I've got to do that.' And I set a date for myself, I think that was helpful, so I told myself by my 27th birthday which was October 22nd, that I would have my rough draft finished. So when we talked in December, that is what I had done. I had just my rough draft and then I kind of didn't know what to do with it. And I had some peers from this thing that I met at Seth's, that I tried to kind of reach out and was like, "What do you think I should do?" But everybody's kind of going at a thousand miles per hour, so they didn't- we kind of talked through it, but it just got stagnant. But yeah I think the validation of just hearing, "Yes, you should do that," and having the confidence in myself that it matters, and saying it out loud. Saying something out loud and telling yourself you're going to do it is- you think that it kind of sounds silly, but when you actually say it or like write it down, it like changes your perception of what that actually means. Jenn T Grace: And how many people do you think you told? Obviously you told the people in that room that were there that day, but did you announce it on any social media that this is something you were going to do? Was it only close friends and family? Like to what degree did you put yourself out there to tell people- or declare this to the world that you were doing this? Lindsay Felderman: Right. I guess so initially it was just the people that I met that weekend, I came home and obviously told Sam. I was super emotional when I came home and told Sam. She like realized because I was just not happy in my other job, and she was like super happy to see that I was having something that I was really passionate to start working on. But then I didn't announce it on social media right away. I did tell like close friends and family kind of just like over that next month or so that that's what I was planning on doing. But in my blog a few times, I started to mention it. I didn't kind of just say, 'Hey I'm writing a book, this is what I'm doing.' I would say, 'I'm going to be working on a project,' or something along those lines that that's what I was doing. But I pretty much told anybody I saw in person that I was doing it. So it wasn't like I was hiding it per say, but I didn't really know- at that point in my early stages I didn't have the whole concept down yet, so I didn't- I don't think I actually fully announced it until after I started your class online, because then I was asking people for help. So that's I think the first time that I was kind of like, "Hey, I'm writing this book, I want your story, I want you to be involved." And that's kind of I think the first time I did it. I guess it was like January or February. Jenn T Grace: So now in looking at your story, part of- again we briefly touched on this, was the fact that you felt like there weren't enough coming out stories that kind of resonated with you, and I know that when you and I connected, I completely agreed with that because I'm like, "You know what, my coming out story isn't tragic, but it's certainly not fun or great." I don't think anybody's is. So have you found some kind of niche- or I don't even know if niche is the right phrase, but do you feel like what you've put together is really going to help that person who may not have the worst possible coming out story? To just kind of hear from you, and then also that process of reaching out to other people to say, "Hey can you share some of your thoughts?" Can you kind of describe what that process was like in terms of just reaching out to other people to add to what you were already writing? Because I can imagine that can be kind of a pain in the ass in some regards, but also adding good value to the end reader, which would be an LGBTQ youth. Lindsay Felderman: Yeah. So it was kind of a pain in the ass, and I actually got kind of the same almost reaction that I felt before even writing the book. A bunch of people said to me, "I could give you my story but there's really nothing to it, or it's not exciting, or there's nothing really that I can say." And I would explain to them it's like no, any coming out story is like a struggle. Like I have a very good friend of mine, her parents aren't really accepting of it, they don't really know that she's with her current girlfriend. They do know but they don't, it's kind of one of those things they just don't talk about. And she kept telling me, "I could give you my story but it's really not that much." And it's like, no that kind of thing matters. The fact that you struggled with your parents, like there's plenty of people struggling with their parents. Yeah like were you kicked out, or were you harmed, or were you severely bullied? Maybe not, but I think the family struggle is probably one of the biggest struggles that isn't talked about. The ones that are just, 'Here's my family and we struggle every day. And yeah we still have a relationship, but it isn't the really, really dramatic stories that we do hear about. I think the majority of us go through that as- you mentioned when I listened to the recording you gave me after you read my book, and you said something about your parents have to grieve the loss of what they thought, and I think that it's like really important, and I think a lot of parents like take a really long time to do that because you spend a lot of time thinking about who you are, and what you want, and when you finally take the step to say, "Hey, yeah I'm gay, or I'm this, or I'm that," or whatever to the outside world, it's like this relieving feeling for you, and it's so exciting, and it's new and it's fresh, and you finally feel like, 'Yes I'm showing myself to the world,' and you weren't showing that part of yourself to the rest of the world, so all of a sudden they feel like you're this new different person, where you feel that this is who you've been the whole time, you just weren't sharing that. And I think that more people really have those types of stories but aren't talking about it because they think that, 'I wasn't beat up, or I wasn't this, or I wasn't that,' and so it doesn't really matter, but every single- I think out of all my friends I have one friend that I can think of, that her parents were like excited when she came out. And it was like this weird thing, it was like a coo, "Oh yay, you're gay, that's so cool!" But like everybody else that I know has had some struggle, something going on where their parents were just not accepting, or they didn't want to hear it, or they just told them they didn't know what they were talking about. And I think especially for me, coming out so young and being told you don't know what you're talking about, was really hard for me. It really- like that's why I really started to question myself and have a lot of self-doubt because the people that raised me, and told me, "Hey you don't know what you're talking about, you're fifteen, you have no idea." It's like wait a minute, how do you know how I feel inside? Like this is not something that we're talking about, like I'm saying I'm dumb or something and you know that I'm smarter than that. It's like I'm telling you I'm attracted to females, I romantically want to be involved with females, and you're telling me that you know me so there's just no way that that's possible. That at that age did a lot of- I don't want to say damage, but almost damage to me in my confidence, in my feelings, and like I had a lot of doubt for a long time about who I was because I really trusted my parents, and I didn't expect that. And I think that a lot of people have that same type of thing, where I wish I had a book like this one, where I could have read and been like, 'Oh my gosh, you were doubting yourself too? Oh my gosh, you thought your parents knew everything and that was like earth shattering to you?' I think that would have been everything for me, and I started to realize that too when I started volunteering for GLSEN and I was speaking to some of the youth, and just in passing just explaining to them some of the things about myself, and why I was there, and just like little bursts of story and they would be like, "Oh my gosh, thank you so much for sharing. I feel so much better about X, Y, and Z. Or why my parents are being annoying, or not accepting." And that's why I was really like, I've got to write this. There's more people out there that I think need to hear it's okay to like have all this self-doubt, and it's okay to like have people not accept you, and it's okay to continue trying to figure out yourself, and not listening to the people that are just not willing to even understand what's going on. So that was a really long-winded answer. Jenn T Grace: No that was such a perfect, beautifully articulated answer. And for anyone who might be listening who doesn't know what GLSEN is, can you just kind of give a thirty second of what GLSEN does? Lindsay Felderman: Sure, so they are the Gay and Lesbian Straight Education Network, and they basically are the ones that started GSAs in school, so Gay Straight Alliances, and have done a lot of work over the years in really just helping gay youth feel comfortable, and have resources and outlets for them in schools in order to be themselves. And I actually didn't even know about GLSEN until later because of Sam, she worked for Teach for America and then met through GLSEN. But that's over there. They basically started the GSAs in schools, they spent a lot of time with LGBTQ youth, and making sure that they feel confident in themselves, or even as something as serious as the trans bathroom issues that are going on, they work on- I don't exactly know how they do it, but they work to try to get legislation changed. For me it was just volunteering, you worked with youth in the schools, and we'd have meetings, and just kind of talk about like all sorts of issues surrounding the LGBTQ youth, or being queer in high school. Jenn T Grace: Perfect. And so for those listening who keep hearing you reference Sam, that is indeed your fiancé, so we want to make sure people know that. Lindsay Felderman: Oh yes, that is my fiancé. Jenn T Grace: Yes. So if we're talking about just kind of how you started to volunteer with GLSEN, and really started to interact with other young LGBTQ people, did- I guess if you could turn back time and you had an opportunity to have recognized that they were a resource to you, do you think to some degree- because I feel fortunate that I've actually read your entire book before it's published, and I obviously now have a really good handle on your story, but the fact that you had a- that you came out twice. And I wonder how many people have had that type of experience. And have you had- have you talked to others through GLSEN or any of the other work that you're doing and found that that has happened to other people as well? Lindsay Felderman: I have obviously talked about it. I don't think I've met anyone specifically that has done it the way that I have. I think the more stories that I've heard is somebody comes out as gay, and then they later realize they're actually trans. So I think for our generation, especially for me when I was in high school, it was like you were gay or straight, there wasn't all these other letters. There wasn't all these other identities, or these things that you could associate with or feel that you were. So it was like if you don't feel straight then you're gay. And I think so for a lot of people in my generation they kind of would come out, 'Okay I'm obviously gay,' and then as these letters have been progressing, and all these identities and people really saying hey, it isn't just black and white like that, there's a lot more going on. And as people started to associate with other identities, I think that's kind of the- I would say double coming out story. But I have not heard of anybody that came out in high school, decided to pretend they were completely straight, and then come back out again. It was definitely an interesting one. I felt so dumb when I was 21. I was like, 'Seriously? You were fifteen, you knew exactly what you wanted, and then like you have to do this all over again.' It was stressful to say the least. Jenn T Grace: Yeah, I can feel the stress and the angst in your writing, and so hopefully- well we haven't even said the name of the book, so I would love for people to know the name of the book, and then I feel like we have a good synopsis of what it's about, but maybe give a synopsis as well so that way people who are listening to this can actually go read your story, and really kind of get this- it's not like an opposing view at all, but I feel like your take on it is very unique, and I think for anyone who might be saying- and mind you my audience is mostly LGBT people listening, so it's not like we're talking to a completely unknown audience. But I feel like a lot of people nowadays are saying, 'Well why do we have to talk about this? Why does this matter? It's 2016, we have marriage equality, this, that and the other,' and to me it's a very short-sighted type of view on things. So I feel like you're kind of shedding some light on things that people are absolutely going through right now, like in present day. But yeah can you just say the name of the book, and just a brief kind of description of what it entails. Lindsay Felderman: Sure so the name of my book is 'Walking through Walls: Finding the Courage to be Your True Self.' I can't believe I just tripped over that. And it is just a- the whole background of the book is my coming out story, which as we said I came out twice, and then what I did is I took stories of others that represent all the LGBTQ letters, and intertwined them into my book. Just asked them a bunch of questions, and they responded to them about pretty much anything that has to do with coming out. And I totally get what you're saying about it's 2016, and why do we need to talk about it, and let's just everybody kind of be equal, but the issue is we're not, and I think that we can't brush all of that under the rug. And even though we have a lot of milestones, and I will honestly say that I did not think that I would be able to get married when I came out in high school. Like I remember- I think it was Massachusetts passed something and I was like, 'Wow that's crazy,' and I never thought that like that was going to be able to be a thing. You know, like it would be like, 'Hey I'm actually getting married in 2017 and I'm literally getting married, not just having the ceremony to say that I'm married,' and that kind of thing. And I think as much progress as we're making, there's still so many issues that need to be talked about, and I think if we just kind of pretend that they're not there, that- I don't know, I just think they need to be talked about, and I think they need to be validated, and in order to truly be equal with everybody and be accepted, we need to have everybody actually be accepted, which is just not the case. I mean you can turn on the news for five minutes any day, or go on Facebook, and there's just so much hate, and so much ignorance. And even people that are my age, I'm like shocked the ignorance when it comes to like the LGBT community, and the misconceptions, and thinking that people are just- somebody who they're just not. And it's like I think it's just- the fight has been fighting, and people have been fighting, and we've won a bunch of battles, but I still think there's a huge war that we're still up against. And for everybody in the community, and specifically with trans people right now, I mean just the bathroom laws. Like that's just ridiculous. Like the things that I hear people say to me about those like, 'Oh well they can do something in the bathroom. I don't want them with my child.' It's like are you serious? Like any guy can walk in the bathroom and like hurt your little girl if they want to, or little boy. Like it has nothing to do with your identity, how you identify who you are. Like no, they're just shitty people, like stop. And I think that kind of thing just needs to be talked about, because the amount of ignorance I think is really the biggest battle that we need to fight. I mean I literally wrote an article yesterday too, about a boy who identifies as a girl, out in Alaska so she was competing in a track event, and I guess like demolished all the other girls. And somebody wrote an article like, 'See world, you made your bed, now you need to lie in it. You can't complain that this girl decimated the other girls when she was born a male.' And it's just like seriously? You just don't understand. And so I think this type of thing does need to be talked about. We can't just pretend that we're equal and say, 'Hey we're equal.' Jenn T Grace: Yeah, I cannot agree more. Have you seen the thing on- the Save Sarah that's a Go Fund Me campaign that's happening right now? And I feel fortunate that this episode is going to air within like a week of us recording it versus a lot of times I have like months delay. But the seventeen year old gay girl in- I think she's in Austin, Texas, who was sent away to a Christian boarding facility that's one of those pray the gay away type of places, and she's basically trapped, and her family is doing nothing so she has a cousin who's trying to kind of help her get through it, and they're raising money for her legal fees. And it's like, okay it is June 8th as we're recording this, it will be out next week, but this is happening on June 8th in 2016, that we have children who are being forced into places that are already deemed not helpful by many, many governing medical bodies, saying that this does not help and it actually causes more harm than good. So it just kind of continues to prove that books like yours, and books like anybody who want to write about LGBT and about coming out, or anything like this, it just kind of continues to prove that there's such a need for it because this stuff is not going away, and it's not going away as fast as we would like it to. Lindsay Felderman: And that kind of thing blows my mind. I didn't get sent to like a Christian camp, but just the same kind of mindset. 'You're not gay, you're not gay, what are you talking about?' It's just ridiculous to me. I mean one of the people that contributed to my book I met through my blog, I followed their blog, they followed mine and I posted that I wanted to write this and they submitted their story, and they're in their fifties, they're bisexual, they're married to a man, and she writes about how in her fifties she still realizes she thought that that would just go away, and it doesn't go away. Like I know for a fact that if I'd ended up marrying the guy that I'd been dating in college, or some other guy, like I would still be feeling the way that I felt when I was fifteen right now, and into the rest of my life. It just doesn't go away, and you can't pretend that it's just going to go away. I think that's probably the biggest thing too for me, is I want people to see like hey I tried to be somebody that I didn't want to be. I gave it more of an effort than I think that I probably should have. But I spent four years with a guy that- I loved him, I really did, that's the thing. He is still very angry with me, but I truly did love him, and we were best friends, but I wasn't romantically in love with him. I wasn't sexually attracted to him, and I could have stayed miserable, and stayed with him, and it would have been really bad for both us because we wouldn't have had the life that we should be living because I was hiding behind this wall of me, and I was a miserable human being. Like so miserable, I was very angry, I would get like little things that would happen, I would flip out, and it was just not me, but it was because I was holding so much angst in all the time, and nobody knew about it. It wasn't like only a few people knew, and I was talking to them on the side or whatever, and they helped me get through it. It's like I literally cut out every person in my life that knew that I was gay when I graduated from high school, slowly throughout my freshman year in college. It wasn't like a one and done, it was like I went to college, I didn't tell anybody there that I was gay or that I had been dating girls in high school, because they met me and I was dating my current boyfriend who I call Max in the book. I keep going to say his name and I don't want to do that to him. So anyway, there was no reason for me to talk about it, and then I just kind of let it be, and interestingly enough where I went to college there were people there that I went to high school with but they didn't really talk about it. I think one person that I wasn't friends with of course, because that's always what happens, the people that don't know you out you to other people, told one of my college friends, and it happened to be one of my Christian God-loving college friends, and she almost- she freaked out and I said to her, "I don't know what she's talking about. I'm with Max," and she was like, "I know, I told her she was crazy." In my head I'm like, 'No she's not, I did date girls all throughout high school, and they all knew it.' And so I started to just kind of get rid of it, and I didn't even talk about it like, "Oh yeah I dated girls." It was like, "No that never happened." Like I literally was like I took the delete button and pretended that whole part of my life just didn't exist. And so that pain and that struggle of thinking all the time like that didn't exist- and for my mom, and my boyfriend, it was a very hot topic for both of them because when he started dating me, everyone was like, "Why are you dating the lesbian? She's gay, what are you doing?" So he would get really angry, and even when I told him that I was gay, he freaked out and was like, "No you're not." Because we were best friends prior to us dating, and my mom, same thing. So it was just this hot button that I just never spoke about to anybody, and I didn't see anybody that knew it, and I moved down to Florida and so just nobody knew. And so it was like okay, I just literally went as far back into the closet as I possibly could, and it was just not good, and it didn't go away, and I didn't feel- I still felt that same way that I did when I was fifteen years old, and I think that- I don't even know what response I was responding to, but I want people to understand that it's like not going to go away. If you're feeling a certain way, you need to trust yourself because nobody is going to understand how you're feeling, and you don't want to be that miserable person. Like you could be something so much better. Where I couldn't bring anything to the world- I had nothing to offer because I was just so miserable, so caught up in hiding myself, so caught up in self-loathing. Gosh the self-hate that I had towards myself was bad, and anything gay that came up; stories, or people, it was just I had to- I couldn't take it. Like I said, I stopped talking to everybody, all my friends that knew. It was hard, I don't know why I did that to myself. And I don't want anyone else to do that to themselves which is why I wrote the book. Jenn T Grace: Yeah, it's such a perfect way of phrasing why you did what you did. So tell us how you came up with the title, because it's an interesting take on the typical coming out type of book. So 'Walking through Walls,' how- what sparked that? Lindsay Felderman: So initially actually, this weekend that I had with Seth Godin, right? Godin? I'm going to say it right. I'm just going to call him Seth. Anyway so that weekend literally was like the biggest catalyst for me. But everybody that was there kind of got like a nametag with a little catchphrase about themselves, so there was eighty or so people there, and each person had this little catchphrase and mine was I walk through walls. And I can't remember other people's to give a good example, but everybody- was something about what they were doing. So my friend works with Lululemon and something hers was about like I help- something with yoga, and every person's thing made sense for them. And for me I think they gave it to me because I worked at a software company, and so I'm not sure if they weren't sure what I did, and so it was kind of like firewalls or whatever. Jenn T Grace: Oh yeah. Lindsay Felderman: But I'm in marketing so I had nothing to do with the IT thing. So I felt very much a fraud when I was there that weekend because I really didn't know what I was doing there, I didn't really know how I could help my business- my old job there, and I had this thing where I walk through walls. And everyone is doing these amazing things helping children, and creating these like amazing businesses, they all give back to like communities, and I was just like blown away by the amount of people that were there and the work that they were doing, and I just felt very much like I don't belong here. But the whole thing is I walk through walls, and I started- as the weekend went on and I was talking to more people, and kind of telling them what I really wanted to do, they all kind of felt like the walk through walls tagline actually fit me because they were like, "You walk through kind of like these barriers, or you walk through these different ideas of who you are, and what you want to do." So I really actually started to resonate with that towards the end of the weekend, where at the beginning of the weekend I felt very like, 'Oh crap, what does this thing on my nametag? What am I going to talk about? I don't know what to do.' And by the end of it I was like, okay I really like the idea of I walk through walls because a wall is a very permanent fixture, a barrier to wherever you want to go. If there's a wall you can't walk through it, right? You have to find some sort of a door. But what I like about it, and what I ended up kind of playing it into is the whole idea of when you're queer or part of this community is you have to come out of the closet, and it's very cliché, it's like okay everyone's coming out, right? But for me I feel like I spent so much time building walls around myself to hide who I truly was, that at the end of the day I had to break down these walls. I had to actually almost physically walk through these walls that I'd built around myself of how I thought of myself, and I think that that is truly what it is. It's not about opening a door, opening a door is really easy. It's really easy to walk up to a door, hey somebody built this door and it's opening, and you can just walk through it. Where I think the majority of us, and I don't want to speak for everybody in the community, but it's much harder than that. It's not easy to come out, and a lot of times some people have to come out all the time. Like you have to constantly kind of just tell people- when you meet somebody, you like name drop that you have a fiancé that's a girl, or your wife, or whoever. And walking through walls to me spoke much more strongly about what I had to do, just breaking down those barriers that I'd built, took so many years building, to just say, 'Okay this is going to be who I am. I'm choosing to build these walls, and I'm going to do this, and how I'm going to live my life.' And then I realized these walls are trapping who I am, and I need to break them down, and walking through them is the only way that I'm going to be able to be truly happy. Jenn T Grace: I like it. Lindsay Felderman: Yeah, that's kind of it. Jenn T Grace: So what do you think in terms of- so if somebody's listening to this, and they're thinking, 'Wow I feel like I can resonate with her because I totally have sat at my desk and started to write, and then said no I have nothing to write.' Or kind of that stop and start. For somebody listening, what do you think that one piece of wisdom might be to push them out of their comfort zone, and have them just actually say, 'You know what? I am doing this.' Do you have any words of wisdom on that? Lindsay Felderman: Yeah I think first probably it would be good to just write in short bursts, and not about anything in particular. Like when I first started to like really write, I just would write almost like word vomit, just like what I was feeling, what I was doing that day. Almost like journals, but not. It's just writing, like you just need to get in the habit of writing and like letting your emotions and your thoughts, putting them down on paper. And then I was blogging, and I would share what I was writing for people, and you've just got to do it really. It's like one of those things where it's like, 'What's the great trick?' And like the great trick is just sitting down and writing. Like it's just taking that time and saying- and it doesn't need to be like you're sharing it with the world, but getting in the habit of writing and kind of just like doing what- figuring out what your writing style is too. I think for me the biggest thing too, I always was told I was a bad writer, so I really struggled throughout high school and college, in like English classes they were just like, "Yeah you don't really have great writing skills." And even in my work, my jobs, I had bosses tell me- my last job, he told me multiple times that I didn't know how to write, and it really like shattered my confidence. Like seriously? What are you talking about? And I worked really hard at kind of just like fixing it in business and whatever, but for me it was like you know what? I'm not listening to how you want me to write anymore, I'm going to write the way that I want to write, and I'm going to put it out there, and if people resonate with it, then okay, and they started to. So- but I just think the biggest thing is one, you have to believe in yourself, you really just have to believe that what you are going to say matters. And two you've just got to start writing. You literally just have to- whatever it is. I don't care if you write, 'Hi my name is Lindsay' five times on a piece of paper. Like you just need to understand that it's okay that you can actually do that. You have to have- starting to actually write, and believing that you can do it is like the two biggest things that you have to do. Because I still look at the proof that I have of my book, like when I get the actual book I don't even know what I'm going to do, but like looking at that- there are so many words in it. I still can't believe like I wrote all those words, but you just have to continue to like every day, wake up, 'Alright what am I going to write today?' And it doesn't have to be every day, it wasn't every day for me, but just doing it. Like Seth actually that weekend, he talked about- I can't remember what the name of the author was, but he said he woke up every morning at 6:00 AM, and he wrote from 6:00 until like- I don't know, 12:00 or 1:00 PM every day, and he wrote hundreds of books because he sat down and he did it every day. And that's the kind of thing- if you want to become something, you have to work at it, and you have to sit down, and you have to do it. And that's the biggest thing. And then finding somebody that supports you, I think too. So as soon as I started telling people, like really my fiancé Sam, she was like, "Wow that's amazing that you want to do that." I think she kind of didn't believe me that I was going to do it. Not so much that she didn't think I could, but she was just like, "That's a big thing to do." But having her support, and just like the support of my family saying, "Yeah you need to do that," I think- and I talk about that in the book too. Like as your coming out story- like just finding somebody that's supportive in your life is super important regardless. Whether it's you're writing a book, whether it's you want to become an astronaut or scientist, or whatever you want to do, you just need to find people that support your dreams and are positive. Because if you bring people into your life that don't believe that you can do what you know you can do, they're just going to bring you down, and there's no point in having those types of people in your life. So it's find somebody that's supportive, sit down and write, and just do whatever- you do whatever you want to do. There's just so many things you can do in this world, and you have to follow your dreams, and you can do it is what I would say. Jenn T Grace: I love it. Lindsay Felderman: Anybody can do it. Jenn T Grace: So speaking of anyone can do it, I totally agree. I think anyone if they focus and they sit down to do it, they totally can. So after the writing part, where do you feel like it was the second most challenging? Because obviously the writing- like you can't pussyfoot around that, there's just- it is what it is. But where were those other types of roadblocks, or perceived roadblocks where you were like, 'What the hell is going on here?' Did you have those moments where you were just kind of stressed out because of certain logistical things? Or what did that look like? Lindsay Felderman: So the logistical things- I guess initially they did. So basically I wrote my book, and then it sat in a Word document, I didn't know what to do. And I can't even begin to describe to you how I think like the universe works, but because I volunteer for- because I met Sam, because she worked for Teach for America, because I then found out about GLSEN, volunteered for GLSEN, because I chose to go to one like random Wednesday night at a business thing, walked by your booth, and I didn't have time to stop because I was leaving, I saw Jenn T. Grace, Professional Lesbian, looked it up on my way home and was like, 'Wow this lady is pretty cool.' Started following you on like social media, responded to you- whatever, got on your email list, and then like two months later got an email from you saying, 'Do you want to tell your story in 2016?' It's like, 'Wait what? Yes, yes I do. I literally wanted to pick up the phone right now, call you and be like, 'I absolutely want to tell my story. Like how did you know? Did you just send this to me?' It was so crazy. But so the biggest thing definitely is the writing, that sucks, but then the logistical thing was scary because I didn't know what I could do. I didn't know anybody in publishing, I didn't know do I just send my book to all these specific publishers? I had friends saying, 'Okay look up LGBTQ publishers, and reach out to them.' And that just all seemed really daunting and scary and I was like, 'I don't really know what to do with this.' And then meeting you, and your class really helped with all that, like I could self-publish through Amazon, great that takes all that away, I don't care what anyone else has to say. No that was fine, but then I think the editing part of the book, and going back and just having to re-read what you wrote is like really, really hard. Especially when it's something like the book that I wrote, where it's emotional and every time I read what I wrote about whatever chapter it is, like it brings me back into that moment of that pure raw emotion, and it's hard to kind of put yourself back in those moments I think sometimes, because it was really emotional. So I think just- I think I remember saying in your class one time I said, "I haven't read it in a while," because it took so much out of me to read it, and to have to go back, and figure out does this make sense? And then I had to go back and do like kind of the so what's at the end of the book- or end of each chapter because I kind of realized I just kind of moved on and I didn't really explain like why that was important. So just all that part is just- I feel like once you do it you feel really accomplished that you wrote it, you put all these words on paper, but you're only really halfway there. Like there's so much other things that go into it, and you want to just be like, 'This is a book, put it on the shelf, this is a book,' but you have to do so much more to get it to be- like I'm literally 99% of the way there. I literally just have to fix some formatting and the way that I fixed the quotes, and make it so it fits so that Amazon will say that my file looks good, and then I'm good. And it's just like I have to do it, but it's just getting there. Picking all the little details, and understanding, and yeah. Jenn T Grace: And you have a cover now, right? So I believe I saw your cover. Because when I saw the proof it was just plain white, which was like mysterious. Lindsay Felderman: Oh that's a piece of my cover actually, that's not even the whole thing. Jenn T Grace: Beautiful. Lindsay Felderman: The one that you saw on Instagram- or Facebook? Jenn T Grace: Yeah. Lindsay Felderman: Yeah it's a piece of it. Jenn T Grace: I like it. So when- so somebody listening to this, when should they expect your book to be available for purchase? They will be listening to this as of Thursday, June 16th this will be live. Lindsay Felderman: I am hoping that it will be published- I don't- once you hit the big- I should just ask you. When you hit the big publish button, like what's the waiting period on Amazon? Is it just like- do they need to like approve it? Or is it just like, 'Hey you're good.' Jenn T Grace: It's within like 24 hours that it's available for other people to buy. Lindsay Felderman: So yeah, I'm hoping either today or tomorrow I fix those little formatting issues, and then like I'm hitting publish. Jenn T Grace: Nice. Lindsay Felderman: So we're pretty much there. I would say by the time this podcast airs, you'll be able to buy it on Amazon. Jenn T Grace: Good, good. Now there is- you're having to be held to it because now there are thousands of people listening and may want to purchase, which I totally think they should. This was fantastic. I so appreciate you jumping on, and sharing your process, and hopefully inspiring some other people to share their stories too. If somebody wants to contact you directly, what is your- either your blog website, or where you are on social media? How would you prefer people to get in touch with you? Lindsay Felderman: Honestly I'll give out all my- I guess ways of contact because I know everybody is kind of different in the way they want to contact. So if you want to go to my website it's just www.LindsayFelderman.com, and there's like a form on there that you can submit and it goes directly to my email. My Instagram is LFelderman so you can find me there, I'm not private so you can follow me, or send me a message, or whatever you want to do. And then my Twitter, which I'm not going to lie I don't really use all that often, is LFelderman22. So those are probably the easiest ways to get in contact with me, all of them are hooked up with my email so I'll get it- and it's email that I actually check, so I'll see whatever you send. Jenn T Grace: Or go to Amazon and type in either your name or Walking through Walls, and your book should come up and be available for purchase. And of course if people do buy the book, I certainly want to know. So if anyone listening to this, if you buy it, please let me know about it so that way we can make sure Lindsay knows it came through here. And then of course leave a review. I feel like reviews are always important, even if you only have a couple, it's really helpful to have some reviews because I have no doubt that your story will help change lives, which is kind of the end goal that we're both going for, which is just so amazing and so awesome. So thank you again for your time, I really appreciate it. Lindsay Felderman: Thank you Jenn, I really appreciate it more than you know.

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