Podcasts about motherfuckers

In the beginning of the episode I cut off the first ten seconds. Sorry about that. Apologies that it might be hard to hear in places also but I didn't realise that the kitchen extraction was that loud.

In this high-energy episode, Pipeman sits down with Philippa and Linnea from Thunder Mother at Wacken, the world's biggest metal festival. The conversation covers everything from band transformations, wild backstage stories, and the Swedish experience, to inside info on Thunder Mother's upcoming music—including playful banter and deep appreciation for their dedicated fans.Main Topics CoveredThunder Mother's lineup changes and band dynamicsBackstage stories: Ice plunges, reindeer meals, and Arctic adventuresInsights into Swedish culture and music sceneThunder Mother's show at Wacken and their connection with fansUpcoming album announcements and new single revealFun with song inspirations and banter about band lifeParenthood, being musicians and mothers on the roadThe importance of having a strong fanbase in GermanyPlans for future tours and dreams of performing in the USAHumorous talk about band image, make-up, and "bimba boost"Key Discussions & StoriesThunder Mother's “No Rules” Attitude:Discussing their band's name and alter ego (“Motherfuckers”), and how their vibe isn't always typically Swedish (00:35-01:00).Wild Band Stories:Early gig with the secret name “Motherfuckers” (01:26).Band member ice plunging in the Arctic Ocean after a show in North Norway (04:11).Eating reindeer (“Rudolph”) and funny misunderstandings about Swedish food and culture (02:54).Festival Experiences:Playing at Wacken in extreme heat, crowd surfing, and seeing thousands of dedicated fans (06:15).Investing in their own stage pyro for an unforgettable performance (09:49).Band's Journey & COVID-Era Touring:Describing “old school” touring during COVID—playing on a fire truck when venues were closed (08:15).Upcoming Releases:First public reveal of their next album due in February 2027, titled "Mothers of Thunder" (09:24).Teasing their next single, "Bimbo Boost," coming September 2026 (10:41).On Being Musicians & Parents:Their kids' reactions to their music, and balancing band life with motherhood (12:51).Playful Banter and Album Secrets:Discussion around a song called "Super Orgasm" and the fun, edgy sense of humor that runs through their music and personalities (14:26).Notable Quotes"Give two beers to a Swedish person and they stop being reserved. Linnea""We want to be there for you to entertain. We are the people band. Philippa""Now I can tell everyone I swim in the Arctic. Philippa""It was like a Metallica crowd out there… it was not easy to get up front. Pipeman""Our next album—releasing February 2027—is the best we've ever done. Philippa""You have to hear our next album coming out in 2027 in February. Philippa""We're bimbos, you need your own boat. Linnea"Resources & Links MentionedThunder Mother Official Channels:Fans encouraged to connect online for pre-saving and pre-buying the new album and merch (10:25).Upcoming Releases:Album: "Mothers of Thunder" – February 2027Single: "Bimbo Boost" – September 2026"Super Orgasm" (future track teased for next album)Radio Promotion:Pipeman offers to spin Thunder Mother on W4CY rotation (08:52).Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-adventures-of-pipeman--941822/support.Click Here to Subscribe for PERKS, BONUS Content & FREE GIVEWAYS!Follow @pipemanradio on all socials & Pipeman Radio Requests & Info at www.linktr.ee/pipemanradioStream The Adventures of Pipeman daily & live Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays at 1PM ET on W4CY Radio & Talk 4 TV. Download, Rate & Review the Podcast at The Adventures of Pipeman, Pipeman Radio, Talk 4 Media, iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, YouTube & All Podcast Apps.

In this high-energy episode, Pipeman sits down with Philippa and Linnea from Thunder Mother at Wacken, the world's biggest metal festival. The conversation covers everything from band transformations, wild backstage stories, and the Swedish experience, to inside info on Thunder Mother's upcoming music—including playful banter and deep appreciation for their dedicated fans.Main Topics CoveredThunder Mother's lineup changes and band dynamicsBackstage stories: Ice plunges, reindeer meals, and Arctic adventuresInsights into Swedish culture and music sceneThunder Mother's show at Wacken and their connection with fansUpcoming album announcements and new single revealFun with song inspirations and banter about band lifeParenthood, being musicians and mothers on the roadThe importance of having a strong fanbase in GermanyPlans for future tours and dreams of performing in the USAHumorous talk about band image, make-up, and "bimba boost"Key Discussions & StoriesThunder Mother's “No Rules” Attitude:Discussing their band's name and alter ego (“Motherfuckers”), and how their vibe isn't always typically Swedish (00:35-01:00).Wild Band Stories:Early gig with the secret name “Motherfuckers” (01:26).Band member ice plunging in the Arctic Ocean after a show in North Norway (04:11).Eating reindeer (“Rudolph”) and funny misunderstandings about Swedish food and culture (02:54).Festival Experiences:Playing at Wacken in extreme heat, crowd surfing, and seeing thousands of dedicated fans (06:15).Investing in their own stage pyro for an unforgettable performance (09:49).Band's Journey & COVID-Era Touring:Describing “old school” touring during COVID—playing on a fire truck when venues were closed (08:15).Upcoming Releases:First public reveal of their next album due in February 2027, titled "Mothers of Thunder" (09:24).Teasing their next single, "Bimbo Boost," coming September 2026 (10:41).On Being Musicians & Parents:Their kids' reactions to their music, and balancing band life with motherhood (12:51).Playful Banter and Album Secrets:Discussion around a song called "Super Orgasm" and the fun, edgy sense of humor that runs through their music and personalities (14:26).Notable Quotes"Give two beers to a Swedish person and they stop being reserved. Linnea""We want to be there for you to entertain. We are the people band. Philippa""Now I can tell everyone I swim in the Arctic. Philippa""It was like a Metallica crowd out there… it was not easy to get up front. Pipeman""Our next album—releasing February 2027—is the best we've ever done. Philippa""You have to hear our next album coming out in 2027 in February. Philippa""We're bimbos, you need your own boat. Linnea"Resources & Links MentionedThunder Mother Official Channels:Fans encouraged to connect online for pre-saving and pre-buying the new album and merch (10:25).Upcoming Releases:Album: "Mothers of Thunder" – February 2027Single: "Bimbo Boost" – September 2026"Super Orgasm" (future track teased for next album)Radio Promotion:Pipeman offers to spin Thunder Mother on W4CY rotation (08:52).Pipeman in the Pit is a music, festival, and interview segment of The Adventures of Pipeman Radio Show (#pipemanradio) and from The King of All Festivals while on The Pipeman Radio Tour. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/pipeman-in-the-pit--2287932/support.Click Here to Subscribe for PERKS, BONUS Content & FREE GIVEWAYS!Follow @pipemanradio on all socials &  Pipeman Radio Requests & Info at www.linktr.ee/pipemanradioStream The Adventures of Pipeman daily & live Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays at 1PM ET on W4CY Radio & Talk 4 TV. Download, Rate & Review the Podcast at The Adventures of Pipeman, Pipeman Radio, Talk 4 Media, iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, YouTube & All Podcast Apps.

It's five o'clock and you know what that means... it's time for El Bad, motherfucker! . . . YOU DON'T KNOW MOJACK is a podcast dedicated to exploring the entire SST catalogue, in order, from start to finish. During the podcast we will discuss all the releases that are part of our core DNA, as well as many lesser-known releases that deserve a second chance, or releases that we are discovering for the very first time (we actually don't know Mojack!). First and foremost we are fans, and acknowledge that we are not perfect and don't know everything – sometimes the discussion is more about a time, place, feeling, personal experience or random tangents, and less about the facts (but we will try to get to the facts too). Facebook: www.facebook.com/mojackpod/ Twitter: @mojackpod Instagram: www.instagram.com/mojackpod/ Blog: www.mojackpod.com/ Tumblr: www.tumblr.com/blog/mojackpod Theme Song: Shockflesh

Up against the Wall, Motherfucker! Den man som borde dödas sist, enligt Valerie Solanas, har dött. Ben Morea var en del av ett gatugäng våldsamma hippiesar, med en analys! En konstnär, provokatör och rebell vars djupa rötter i Lower East Side på Manhattan rycktes upp och han fick leva en stor del av sitt liv under jorden. Alexander Ekelund gästar podden och pratar om motherfuckern och anarkistiska legenden Ben Morea, som gick bort i maj. Det blir en resa genom 1900-talets avantgardekultur-historia. Vem kastade första stenen under Stonewall-kravallerna? För mer info: Alexander Ekelund: Den gyllene flottans seglats (2023) https://vitaludens.com/bocker.htm Ill Will: A Life in Rebellion (2025) https://illwill.com/a-life-in-rebellion CrimethInc: Ben Morea in Exarchia (2026) https://blog.pmpress.org/2026/06/05/ben-morea-in-exarchia/ Ben Morea: We Wanted to Destroy the University (2024) https://illwill.com/destroy-the-university Ben Morea: Pancho Villa Syndrome (2025) https://illwill.com/pancho-villa-syndrome Ill Will: The Ultimate Dilemma: An Interview with Ben Morea (2019) https://illwill.com/the-ultimate-dilemma Acid Horizon: A Life in Rebellion - med Ben Morea (2025) https://music.youtube.com/podcast/AfsNu9051-k Party Girls: Rest in Power, Ben Morea (2026) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/rest-in-power-ben-morea-w-tony-boswell

Ben Morea, Black Mask, Up Against the Wall Motherfuckers, Morea's death, the Diggers, Emmett Grogan, Ringolevio: A Life Played for Keeps, was Grogan real?, pedophilic fantasies in Ringolevio, the Motherfucker's ambiguous relationship with pedophilia, the Digger's Nazi chic, Adam Parfrey/Abraxas Circle, the cultural significance of Ringolevio, Ringolevio's take on anti-colonial movements, more Diggers/Black Mask crossover, bioregionalism, the differences between the Motherfuckers and regular hippies, Morea's later claims, Brian from Catharsis/ Crimethinc, Jamie Peck's Party Girls podcast, did Brian hint at Morea on Party Girls?, use of informants, Crimethinc's links to the Motherfuckers, Ford Foundation, what Morea tells us about the use of informantsMusic by: Keith Allen Dennishttps://keithallendennis.bandcamp.com/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Case and Sam are joined by Jay McKiernan (Long Live the Legion) to discuss one of the strangest studio movies ever made: Hudson Hawk. Bruce Willis's passion project is a wild mix of heist film, slapstick comedy, musical numbers, Vatican conspiracies, and cartoon logic that somehow also feels a little bit like Street Fighter. Is it a misunderstood cult classic, a glorious mess, or both? Join us as we try to make sense of one of the most fascinatingly flawed movies of the 1990s. Another Pass Full Episode Originally aired: June 26, 2026 Music by Vin Macri and Matt Brogan Podcast Edited by Sophia Ricciardi Certain Point Of View is a podcast network brining you all sorts of nerdy goodness! From Star Wars role playing, to Disney day dreaming, to video game love, we've got the show for you! Learn more on our website: https://www.certainpov.com Support us on Patreon! patreon.com/CertainPOVMedia Join us on Discord: https://discord.gg/wcHHer4 PODCAST SHOWS: ▶ Another Pass - https://www.certainpov.com/another-pass-podcast ⏱️ YouTube Chapters 00:00 – Introduction & Duke Returns 01:45 – Duke's History with Transmetropolitan 03:18 – Who Should Play Spider Jerusalem? 07:00 – Where the Story Stands Before Volume 9 08:02 – Here Comes the Sun: Returning to the Disaster Zone 12:43 – Yelena's Anger & Spider's Investigation Begins 17:38 – Running Through the City Like a Motherfucker 21:22 – Fred Christ's Final Conversation 23:42 – The Truth About the Angels 8 Riot 31:35 – How the Smiler Really Operates 36:49 – Two-Fisted Editor: Royce Takes Action 40:02 – Royce's Investigation & Blackmail Campaign 45:01 – Royce Saves the Case 48:36 – The Cure Begins: A Woman in Hiding 52:24 – Spider Finds the Missing Witness 56:21 – Ambush at the Hotel 01:02:39 – Safe House Interview & The President's Secret 01:10:57 – Martial Law and the Final Push 01:16:35 – "When Was the Last Time You Had Sex with a Transient Prostitute?" 01:17:09 – Volume 9 Discussion & Final Thoughts 01:24:02 – Where to Find Duke 01:25:40 – Where to Find Keith 01:27:41 – Patreon Shout-Outs & Outro

Jack and Steven are back to talk about Jack watching the Knicks win with some Canadian friends in NYC (Steven was jealous), the FIFA World Cup, Team Falcons winning the CS2 major... um, bikes, how bad traffic has been, fuckin' clothes shopping. Yeah alright they talked about MILFs and dick sizes too but like we weren't supposed to actually write that in the description but my boss told me to do it (I'm just the intern writing this).

In which we discuss Star Wars, throwing people over railings, try and come up with the male equivalent of douche-bag, a sequel to the movie Tag, time girl's boyfriends felt threatened by us, the musical Cats, other musicals we've seen, and more. Contact us at; adventuresinirrationality.com adventuresinirrationality@gmail.com   Music by U.S. Army Blues, licensed under a Public Domain Mark 1.0 license.  

Ohhhh boy, Rob won the poll last week, which can only mean one thing: FUTURE FORCE, MOTHERFUCKER! This is a movie about David Carradine wearing a Nintendo Power Glove and being a fascist, while Bargain-Bin Snake Plissken runs amok in the background. I honestly don't know who we're supposed to root for here! Carradine crushes criminals, cries cacophonously, carelessly creeps with cripple communications, and cracks crime in his Cherokee Chief! Both digits are off! Future tech lightning fist! Dude definitely dead due to demolition of his Dodge diplomat! Department duty for detective David ! Bare-breasted bimbos! Electrofist technicians! Skull and skin semantics! Time-wasting tits, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made!www.theworstmovieevermade.com

Mit "Le Frisur" hat die deutsche Punkband Die Ärzte 1996 ihr erstes und bisher einziges Konzeptalbum veröffentlicht. Ein Album, in dem es tatsächlich nur um Frisuren, Bärte und Haare aller Arten geht. Das Album "Le Frisur" von den Ärzten ist mal wieder ein Beweis dafür, dass die Band sich selbst nicht zu ernst nimmt – als ob der noch nötig gewesen wäre – und der Spaß bei der Band häufig im Vordergrund steht. Dass Die Ärzte offen sind für allerhand verrückte Ideen, kann Podcastgast George Lindt selbst belegen. Er hat mehrfach mit den Ärzten gesprochen und mit ihnen in der Vergangenheit ihre eigenen Songs neu aufgenommen – auf Japanisch und Chinesisch. Auch deshalb war er die perfekte Wahl als Gast für diese Podcastfolge zu "Le Frisur". George Lindt spricht in dieser Meilensteine-Folge nicht nur über das Album, sondern erzählt auch jede Menge Anekdoten aus der Geschichte der Ärzte. Ein Konzeptalbum nur über Haare, Bärte und Co., so etwas Verrücktes fällt wirklich nur den Ärzten ein. Aber wer die Ärzte kennt, weiß, dass es – auch wenn es offenkundig und beim ersten Blick sehr albern und lustig gemeint ist – bei den Ärzten eigentlich immer eine tiefere Bedeutung gibt, auch beim Album "Le Frisur". Ein gutes Beispiel dafür ist der Song und das dazugehörige Musikvideo zu "Mein Baby war beim Frisör", in dem die Ärzte "Femizide" thematisieren. Die Musik und das Video sind dabei typisch lustig dargestellt, die Botschaft des Songs hingegen ist eher erschütternd. Neben dem inhaltlichen doppelten Boden spielen Die Ärzte auf dem Album ganz viel mit der Erwartungshaltung des Hörers. Johannes Heuft erklärt: wenn wir uns an einen Song gewöhnt und reingehört haben, dann passiert oft eben etwas komplett anderes, und das macht das Album auch spannend. Auf "Le Frisur" gibt es auch ganz viele Dinge, bei denen wir Verbeugungen vor großen Vorbildern erkennen und auch Inspirationen unterschiedlicher Natur. Auch ganz viele unterschiedliche Genres haben Die Ärzte auf das Album gepackt. Von (natürlich) Punk, über Pop, Metal, Reggae bis zu den Comedian Harmonists und Frank Sinatra ist fast alles dabei. Und so bizarr und chaotisch der bunte – teilweise vielleicht sogar fragwürdige – Mix der Ärzte ist, den sie auf diesem Album über Haare zusammenkomponiert und produziert haben, so einleuchtend ist die Platte und alles darauf für Meilensteine-Gast George Lindt. __________ Über diese Songs vom Album "Le Frisur" sprechen wir im Podcast (15:08) – "Erklärung"(24:14) – "Mein Baby war beim Frisör"(28:14) – "Motherfucker 666"(38:24) – "3-Tage-Bart"(44:17) – "No Future (ohne neue Haarfrisur)"(46:27) – "Der Medusa-Man (Serienmörder Ralf)"__________ Alle Shownotes und weiterführenden Links zur Folge "Le Frisur" findet ihr hier: https://x.swr.de/s/dierztelefrisur __________ Ihr wollt mehr Podcasts wie diesen? Abonniert die Meilensteine! Fragen, Kritik, Anregungen? Meldet euch gerne per WhatsApp-Sprachnachricht an die (06131) 92 93 94 95 oder schreibt uns an meilensteine@swr.de

Welcome to The Daily Wrap Up, an in-depth investigatory show dedicated to bringing you the most relevant independent news, as we see it, from the last 24 hours (5/13/26). As always, take the information discussed in the video below and research it for yourself, and come to your own conclusions. Anyone telling you what the truth is, or claiming they have the answer, is likely leading you astray, for one reason or another. Stay Vigilant. !function(r,u,m,b,l,e){r._Rumble=b,r[b]||(r[b]=function(){(r[b]._=r[b]._||[]).push(arguments);if(r[b]._.length==1){l=u.createElement(m),e=u.getElementsByTagName(m)[0],l.async=1,l.src="https://rumble.com/embedJS/u2q643"+(arguments[1].video?'.'+arguments[1].video:'')+"/?url="+encodeURIComponent(location.href)+"&args="+encodeURIComponent(JSON.stringify([].slice.apply(arguments))),e.parentNode.insertBefore(l,e)}})}(window, document, "script", "Rumble");   Rumble("play", {"video":"v77q0ws","div":"rumble_v77q0ws"}); Source Links (In Chronological Order): Judge declares mistrial in Harvey Weinstein's rape retrial | AP News "You are the biggest fraud to ever sit in the U.S. Senate!" - YouTube Ghislaine Maxwell hinted at Epstein's ties to Trump officials – why wasn't she pressed for names? | Trump administration | The Guardian What The Hell Is Happening w/ Charlie Robinson (5/14/26) - The Last American Vagabond Gabbard CIA clip.mp4 DNI Denies CIA Raided Tulsi Gabbard's Office: What We Know - Newsweek (19) The Last American Vagabond on X: "Well isn't that convenient for an admin imploding in front of us. It was never incompetence and criminality guys, it was just more democrat hold-overs. Sure, why not. Those willing to ignore the obvious will jump at anything that helps them do just that. #TwoPartyIllusion" / X (19) Senator Ron Johnson on X: "Let me ask again, “who is running the deep state?”" / X Jesse Watters on X: "

On this episode of The Karen Kenney Show, I talk about why simply showing up for the people you love - matters more than you might think.I share the story of my first-ever art exhibition (eeeek!), the friends who showed up to surprise me there (“We got you, Motherfucker!”

Imagine it's 1979. You queue up to see STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE over the holidays. You're super psyched. Not since "Space Seed" have you been so high on the idea of boarding the Enterprise. And then you see ST:TMP and feel like you'd have more fun watching a documentary of William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy talking about taking a shit than you would watching that bloated, dull, space opera. Now imagine it's 1982. You queue up to watch WRATH OF KHAN because it can't be worse than TMP, right? And not only is it not worse, IT'S FUCKING GANGBUSTERS, THE BEST STAR TREK MOVIE ANYONE WILL EVER MAKE, SPACE: THE FINAL FRONTIER, FUCK YEAH! Now imagine this same scenario, except instead of TMP it's MORTAL KOMBAT from 2021, and WRATH OF KHAN is MORTAL KOMBAT II (3:04). That's right. MORTAL KOMBAT II IS FUCKING GANGBUSTERS, THE BEST MORTAL KOMBAT MOVIE ANYONE WILL EVER MAKE (probably), FINISH HIM, MOTHERFUCKER, FUCK YEAH! Or something like that. Over on Patreon, we talk about Walter Hill's 1982 classic 48 HRS.

RELEASED from behind the paywall! A huge announcement for Motherfuckers. Follow, rate, review, share:Apple Podcasts!Spotify!Deezer!Research & creator support:Patreon

War of the worlds! Not the H.G. Wells novel! Not the Spielberg one! Nope. ICE CUBE, MOTHERFUCKER! This was a gnarly experience. We complained about it so much that our episode is longer than the actual movie. Chew on that, Jeff Bezos, you bald-headed fuck! “Ohhhhh my godddddd.” -Ice Cube, Probably. Alien annihilation, amazon advertisements, awesome! Techno tendrils whipping out all sexy like? Faith calls the Cube Father! Helicopter hit, “how you?” Mark's Prime Video van? Daddy Cube is coming! Your mouth was made to suck my … data! Cumsocks on Ebay! Amazon ass play! Sexy tech babe tentacles, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com

Hva har Mette-Marit og skjæra på eiendommen til Eirik til felles? Og Jørgen har fått tilsvar på goodiebag-roasten sin. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

D'Angelo's Brown Sugar sounded like nothing else in 1995. R&B was slick, polished, and built for clubs. D'Angelo later said the "deeper consciousness" had gone out of contemporary music. Questlove later wrote that contemporary R&B had become "trite" and "soulless" ... and then there was Brown Sugar, D'Angelo's debut album. It sounded more like the '70s than the '90s. More like church than the club. On this episode of You'll Hear It, jazz pianists Adam Maness and Peter Martin go track by track through D'Angelo's debut, pulling apart the vocal stems, naming the jazz chords underneath the soul, and tracing every influence back to its root. They also bring in the archival recordings you might have missed: a live set from the Jazz Café London that gives the album a whole second life, and a J Dilla remix.-------------------------------Start your free Open Studio trial for ALLLLL your jazz lesson needs: https://openstudiojazz.com/yhi-------------------------------Related You'll Hear It episodes:Voodoo: https://youtu.be/AYqmFNF2s0U-------------------------------About You'll Hear It:In this popular music series Adam and Peter break down the greatest albums of all time. Stevie Wonder, Michael Jackson, Joni Mitchell, D'Angelo: Jazz is the foundation of the most GENIUS music in recent history. These seasoned jazz pianists bring their deep musical knowledge to every joyful episode to help you hear the hidden qualities that make music AMAZING. You'll never hear music the same way again.-------------------------------Sign up for the You'll Read It newsletter for little known stories about the artists you love: https://youllhearit.com/newsletter -------------------------------00:00 - D'Angelo's Brown Sugar01:11 - Let's Go Back to 1995 05:35 - "Brown Sugar"08:30 - Engineer Bob Power's Influence 09:13 - "Brown Sugar" Felt Different From Anything Else in 199516:57 - D'Angelo on Why He Picked Bob Power19:30 - "Alright" 28:57 - Isolated Vocal Stems on "Alright"31:27 - "Jones in My Bones" 33:20 - The Little-Known D'Angelo Album36:25 - "Me & Those Dreamin' Eyes of Mine"40:30 - The J Dilla Remix (1997)44:18 - "Shit, Damn, Motherfucker" 46:30 - Live at the Jazz Cafe - "Shit, Damn, Motherfucker"48:10 - "Smooth" 50:20 - D'Angelo Could Have Been a Jazz Pianist53:04 - D'Angelo and Peter's Ellis Marsalis Connection56:21 - "Cruisin'" 59:25 - Ad Break: Learn To Play Like D'Angelo1:00:37 - "When We Get By"1:04:44 - "We Were Just Mocking Dilla": Raphael Saadiq on How "Lady" Was Made1:06:20 - "Lady"1:11:02 - "Higher"1:15:28 - "Brown Sugar" Hits Different 30 Years Later1:17:00 - Our Favorite Moments1:23:45 - Quibble Bits, Snob-O-Meter & Accoutrements1:27:26 - Up Next + Listener Reviews1:29:45 - Open Studio Plays "Lady"

Today on The Gist, A jet-lagged yet very gracious comedian and writer Jena Friedman joins the show to discuss her new stand-up special, Motherfucker. She talks with Mike about why writing abortion jokes is harder than ever in a post-Roe reality, the challenges of making dark topics funny on her true crime series Indefensible, and the current landscape of risky political comedy. Jena also opens up about the vulnerability of tackling grief on stage after losing her mother while eight months pregnant.  Produced by Corey Wara Video and Social Media by Geoff Craig Do you have questions or comments, or just want to say hello? Email us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠thegist@mikepesca.com For full Pesca content and updates, check out our website at https://www.mikepesca.com/⁠ For ad-free content or to become a Pesca Plus subscriber, check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://subscribe.mikepesca.com/ For Mike's daily takes on Substack, subscribe to The Gist List https://mikepesca.substack.com/ Follow us on Social Media:⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4_bh0wHgk2YfpKf4rg40_g⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pescagist/ X https://x.com/pescami TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@pescagist To advertise on the show, contact ⁠⁠⁠⁠ad-sales@libsyn.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://advertising.libsyn.com/TheGist

This content was originally released on 05/06/21 Hey pals, Welcome to part two—part two! of three!—of our miniseries on the Wishbone episode "Furst Impressions." We're joined this week by comedian and actor Danny Jolles (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend), whose first comedy special, 6 Parts, came out at the end of March. It's excellent, and because Danny's cool as hell, it's also free to everyone on the ol' YouTube. Janine, Julie, and Allison all loved it, and they promise they're not just saying that because he came on the show. The YouTube playlist we promised is here, though it doesn't yet include that Wishbone sketch, as it turns out that googling "Wishbone playboy" doesn't, ah, work. We'll update it when we find it and are feeling less scarred. We did, however, include some of the jokes and songs from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend we referenced, along with some other things. He's a delight! Watch them all, but especially 6 Parts. Next week: JEANNE SIMPSON, MOTHERFUCKERS! Lots of love, Allison, Julie, and Janine

Where do you dream of traveling to this year? Australia, an island, the United States, the western part of your state, or the world? Join the dreams and fun as we discuss the places we'd like to visit this year. And drop 40 F-bombs.Round 301!~~~~~~~Please support us on the Beer Thursday Patreon page!Please support us on the Beer Thursday Patreon page! Join a community of travel and humor lovers, and help us keep the laughs coming.Never miss an episode, and help us take you to the top by subscribing, leaving a 5-star review, and sharing this episode with friends to grow our community and support. We love hearing from our listeners, so don't be shy about sharing your thoughts and joining the conversation.~~~~~~~Please support us on the Beer Thursday Patreon page! Your support helps us keep sharing these fun stories and makes you feel like a valued part of our community.At the $10 level, the next 18 Great Human Beings will get access to the Beer Thursday Facebook group.~~~~~~~Here's what our house elf, Artie (not Archie), says about this round: Around the World with the F-Bomb Squad: Travel Tales & Morgan FreemanIn this hilariously chaotic round, our hosts dive into their top travel destinations while dropping F-bombs like they're hot! From wishing to witness the Detroit Red Wings' next Stanley Cup win to the treacherous yet tantalizing wilds of Australia, they cover it all. They passionately discuss why 'motherfucker' is the ultimate curse word and revel in AI-generated Morgan Freeman voices on their navigation apps. Tune in for talks about deadly Aussie critters, scenic bike rides from Germany to Budapest, and dreams of a tropical cruise - all infused with a healthy dose of irreverent humor. If you love travel, sarcasm, and a bit of cussing, this round is your ticket to ride! 00:00 Introduction and Impersonations 00:30 AI Morgan Freeman and Subscription Hacks 01:13 The Versatility of 'Motherfucker' 01:56 Australia Travel Plans 04:11 Dangers of Australian Wildlife 06:06 Family Connections and Ancestry 07:56 Ireland and Scotland 11:45 Ireland and Scotland again.12:04 Kiki's ancestry14:17 Skank Sister?14:50 Shayne wants to visit the Azores!15:28 Future Travel Plans and Retirement Dreams 16:23 The Toast and the Beverage Dilemma 16:36 Planning the Second Half 17:33 Heartfelt Irish Toast 18:15 Travel Plans and Destinations 19:25 Hawaii and the Brady Bunch 22:17 Rock Band Memories 24:28 Cycling and River Cruising the Danube27:48 Cruise Tips and Drink Packages 30:12 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

Tach, ihr wasserlassenden Prostata-Masseure, widmen wir uns doch einer Thematik, die im Zuge von geopolitischen Themen leider an Strahlkraft verloren hat: massenmordende Killerspiele, die ungeniert durch die Welt ziehen. Mit nichts im Herzen, als kaltblütige Brutalität. Wer ihnen begegnet ist schon so gut wie tot. Kenshiro wäre stolz auf diese Art von Spielen! ATATATATATATATATATA!!! Und ZACK, irgendwann geht auch die schönste Geschichte zu Ende.Ihr wollt wissen worüber ich hier schreibe? Ja, dann klettert doch in die Podcast-Kabine und folgt der 40-minütigen Audiospur, bis die Antwort auf diese Frage euer Ziel sein darf! Springt rein und let's cruise, Motherfuckers.Sanfte GrüßeEssi (und im Herzen Janina

In dieser Episode von „Verprügelt mit Punchlines“ philosophieren Falk, Ivan und Jonas über ihre „Medien-Overlords“ bei Spotify und die bittere Pille, dass man mit 30 offiziell zu alt für Jugendsprache wie „Checke“ ist und stattdessen lieber vornehm „D'accord“ flüstern sollte. Zwischen der Abrechnung mit Stefan Raabs „Fiebertraum“-Comeback und Falks Enthüllungen aus seiner Zeit als Ministrant gipfelt die Folge in einem epischen Vergleich deutscher TV-Legenden: Während Günther Jauch als „Crowdwork-Maschine“ gefeiert wird, wird Harry Weinfort attestiert, wie ein Lottogewinner auszusehen, der sein Geld in sechs Monaten verprasst hat, aber trotzdem der „sexier Motherfucker“ bleibt. Mit dem potenziellen Jugendwort 2025 („Das Crazy“) im Gepäck und der Angst, im Alter peinlich zu werden, liefern die drei eine Folge ab, die so absurd ist wie die Vorstellung einer Käse-Frikadelle in Günther Jauchs Gesicht.Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/verpruegeltmitx⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://vmx-shop.myspreadshop.de/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Jonas Links: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linktr.ee/JonasImamComedy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Ivans Links: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linktr.ee/ivan.thieme⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Falks Links: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linktr.ee/falk.pyrczek⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Wir sind auf Twitch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.twitch.tv/vmxstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Auf Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/vmp.podcast/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Miracle On Route 34: Part 2 Virginia and Santa face extreme danger together. Based on a post by BiscuitHammer, in 3 parts. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Someone attacked Santa with a wicked-looking spiked hand-axe, something out of a sci-fi movie. He batted the weapon aside and clapped his open hands across the man's ears, busting his brain. Before he dropped, Santa grabbed the corpse and swung it around in a wide arc, smashing it into the foes surrounding him and knocking them back. "Shit!" Ginny squealed as one of the targets landed near her. "It's like the fucking Matrix in here!" As he threw the corpse away, he paused very briefly and glanced at her. "Since you happen to be right there, how about a little mood music?" "What?" "I'm just saying some music would be nice if we're going to be doing this," he called. "You're next to the entertainment system, how about putting something on?" "You’re shitting me, right?" she almost complained, wincing as she heard something delicate-sounding and expensive smash behind her amidst the wild brawl. She stared at the multimedia system, flapping her arms in frustration as she tried to focus through the noise. This couldn't be happening. She clutched the sleeves of her plush robe for a moment, trying to concentrate on its soft, fuzzy texture and center herself. She'd almost forgotten the large nerf gun in her hands but ignored it now, fixing her gaze on the mp3 playlist. She pressed a button. "Silent night; Holy night;" Bing crooned through the room. "Not really what I had in mind!" Santa mentioned loudly as he rammed his knee into a man's chin. "Try again!" Ginny bit her lip and pressed the button again, this time rewarded with Gary Glitter singing 'Another Rock And Roll Christmas'. "Still not quite there," he said as he snapmared another foe. "Better, but not quite!" "Well I don't know!" she shouted in exasperation. "What kind of music do you put on while Santa kills things in your living room?" Santa turned sideways and thrust his foot out, kicking an intruder in the chest and sending him sprawling backwards, rolling head over heels until he thumped into the entertainment system, jolting it and skipping the player. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Perfect!" he declared as he fought, swarmed once again by foes. "Seriously?" Ginny yelled. "Combichrist is Santa's fucking fighting groove?" "I'm trying to figure out why you have it on your playlist," Santa replied. "I don't remember you liking aggrotech!" "Why the hell do you of all people even know what it is?" she shot back, wincing as she watched another body sail into the opposite wall with a sickening crunch before dropping to the floor and leaving a huge, crumbling dent in the stone. 'This Shit Will Fuck You Up!' "I prefer the term 'Hellektro' myself," he added. "And I know all songs, silly. I remember when the Dayglo Abortions wrote that 'Hey Santa!' song back in the '80's, they didn't get presents for” "I didn't ask, why are you answering?" she hissed. "Kill! Kill!" All the while, the pounding rhythms of the music filled the room. "I am a bitch. How do you want me? From behind, or on my knees? I am a slut, please hold me down, I'll be your noise, This shit will fuck you up!" "Well, at least we know why it's on your playlist, anyway!" he mentioned as he broke someone's back over his knee. "Very funny, red man!" Ginny hissed, scowling. She ducked wildly as another assailant flew overhead and landed in the Jacuzzi, his neck slamming against the hard edge with a snap noise and then tilting at a strange angle, his eyes wide and unseeing. "Fucking hell," she muttered. "These guys eat too much red meat!" Santa smashed two heads together before punting a third man in the chest, sending him staggering back until he fell against the entertainment unit, right next to Ginny, his eyes spiraling in his head. She scowled down at him for a moment before smashing the pitcher of nog on his cranium and sending him to the floor. Every single intruder stopped and turned to look at her suddenly, their eyes narrowing and turning very yellow. "Eep;" Ginny said quietly, going pale. They all howled and lunged toward her, even as Santa fought to reach her first. She shrieked in fright. "Darn it, Ginny!" he shouted in what almost sounded like irritation. "I told you not to do anything!" "You said not to use the stupid nerf gun!" she shot back as she dodged wildly and began to run around, evading her pursuers. "I meant don't do anything to get yourself noticed!" he growled as he bulldogged one man's head into the floor. He sprang to his feet and grabbed another man by the back of the head, ramming his face into the stone wall, creating a small crater from which the body slumped only slowly and wetly. "How the hell did they not notice the mostly naked girl in the room?" she yelled, sprinting around the circumference of the room, being chased by yellow-eyed foes. "They're mostly quantum, they don't always perceive real-state things or beings until they're interacted with!" he answered. "They weren't looking for you until you announced yourself!" "Oh, you and your weird physics shit!" she groused, her robe coming more and more undone as she ran. One of her tits was exposed, bouncing annoyingly and the nipple hardening as a cold wind from the endless holes in her walls and windows blew into the room. "Now what?" "Well, since they know you're here, you might as well use the gun," he answered as he tackled a small knot of them who were looking to cut off her avenue of escape. "At least then you can defend yourself if you're careful!" "The fuck am I supposed to do?" she shouted angrily as she clutched the ridiculous, useless gun. "Nerf them to death? Hope I shoot one foam dart down a throat and hope the bastard chokes and dies?" "Didn't you just let me inside all of your orifices?" he pointed out as he spun low, sweeping one foe's feet from under him and then taking him by the ankles to slam him off the floor. "Trust me, Virginia!" "Dammit!" she spat, steeling her nerve, hoping her resolve was harder than her nipple currently was. Taking a deep breath, she stopped running and spun, pointing the gun and pulling the plastic trigger; She yelped in astonishment as coruscating arcs of lightning crackled and lashed out from the muzzle, enveloping several foes, who wailed in glowing agony before disappearing from view. "Jesus H Fucking Tesla!" she exclaimed in amazement as she gaped down at her toy. "Virginia, language!" Santa warned. She rolled her eyes and pointed at another man rushing her, pulling the trigger and watching him explode in a shower of scintillating particles. "This shit will fuck you up!" blared the speakers. The wall splintered next to Ginny and several terrifying creatures barged in, causing her to shriek in fright, they were easily Santa's size, vaguely humanoid but covered in a greyish, segmented carapace, with insectoid heads, evil-looking mandibles and huge claws at the end of four arms. They hissed as the lunged for her. "Fuck fuck fuck!" cried out as she began running. "Fucking hate motherfucking bugs!" She fired wildly behind herself without looking, managing to strike one of the new creatures but only slowing it down. Ginny raced for the stairs, stampeding up them only to find more of the yellow-eyed humanoids waiting for her. "Santa!" she cried out in terror. "Help!" He glanced her way and grimaced at her predicament. "Aw, hell;" With a strength born of the desperation to protect one of his precious children, he surged forward, shoulder-blocking his way through a knot of assailants, springing through the air with astonishing agility, alternately using the wall and railing of the stairs to get to the upper floor, twisting and executing a flying kick that downed a foe about to attack Ginny. "Good thing I wore my enhanced parkour boots tonight, eh?" he muttered as he glared at the foes crowding to get up the stairs or down the hallway at them. "I don't even know what that means." Ginny snapped, backing up warily as the horde coming for them grew in numbers. "If that's some sort of geek speak, then we, are you getting bigger?" "I guess I am," he replied, grimly, glaring at their foes. "I don't expect what I'm saying to make sense, but the other iterations of me, my other selves, they're all coming here, merging with me to help meet the threat." "You're; consolidating?" she asked in disbelief. "That's one way to look at it," he said, his blue eyes flashing. "It's gonna make finishing the Christmas run tight if I get held up here much longer." "Oh, terribly sorry if I'm inconveniencing you, your highness." Ginny said, trying to not sound too snide. He put his body between her and her foes, backing her up against the wall. "They can't come through the wall you're up against, it's the South wall," he said quietly but with a sense of urgency. "You're safe from that angle. You can fire your gun past me or over the rail at the guys down below. Since they're trying to reach you that means they've solidified enough that they can't do crazy things like jump seven meters up to reach you, they'll have to use the stairs." "I thought they were after you." Ginny said hotly. "They were, until you announced yourself with a jug of nog," he pointed out. "Now they want to destroy you to hurt me." "Oh. Sorry." Ginny mumbled somewhat sheepishly. "You can make it up to me later!" he said as he surged forward suddenly, bulling his way through the approaching crowd, clotheslining several at once. Shouts went up and the fight was on again. Santa punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and wrenched his way through the enemy horde. Ginny swore he was indeed bigger than he had been earlier. His already hard body physique was almost bulging with muscles now, like a California beach bodybuilder. Black blood glistened on his flawless skin as he maimed the attackers. Droplets that hit the carpet sizzled and ate through it, burning the hardwood floor beneath. "No!" Ginny wailed in despair. "Not the hardwood! I loved that feature!" She glared and gritted her teeth as she leaned over the railing and pointed the nerf gun down at the endless crowd on the main floor, pulling the trigger. The crackling arcs of energy enveloped several foes, who wailed and vanished. Same as before, the giant insectoids rarely disappeared but seemed slowed or staggered by the attack. Santa fought his way forward, forcing the attackers back from Ginny. Try as they might, no one got by him, even if it meant that they could strike at him instead. He took their assaults resolutely, using his body as a shield to protect her. Before long, the floor of the hallway was littered with bodies, some barely stirring, others not moving at all. Still, the foes swarmed up the stairs. One of the bug-things swiped at him with its vicious claws and he ducked under the blow before kicking his boot into one of the reverse-jointed legs, snapping it. The bug screeched and tumbled and he leapt onto its back, grabbing hold of one of the large, wet-grey chitinous plates that armored its back and pulled, it tore away with a mushy crack and the beast's keened agony as it shuddered and thrashed. Without pausing, Santa whirled around and slammed the exoskeletal plate across several men's heads, dropping them. Ginny kept firing the nerf tesla gun, wondering what sort of sociopath would invent a deadly weapon that looked like a famous kid's toy. She pushed it from her mind, realizing that she wanted to live and didn't care at the moment about the social mores of the issue. Santa was using the huge chitin plate almost like a shield, driving his foes back with it to the stairs. It finally cracked in half and he punched through the mess, unwilling to give the enemy time to regroup. He spun one man around with a fist across the jaw before grabbing his arms from behind and ramming his knee into the man's back, lifting him off the floor and letting him slam his spine onto the stairs. Without waiting, Santa launched himself through the air, knee raised and smashed it into the face of a man on the stair's corner landing. The foe's head went back through the wall with a loud crunch and he hung there limply, no longer part of the battle. "Ack!" Ginny squawked as the nerf gun sputtered and let out several impotent flashes and then died. "Not now! No no no!" One foe had broken through the cordon and now raced toward her. She yelled loudly and smashed the butt of her nerf gun into his face, staggering him for a moment. She glared at him angrily, waiting for him to fall, but her didn't, so she kicked him in the crotch with her instep. He groaned and sunk to his knees, holding himself. Ginny was practically jumping up and down on top of him by the time he stopped moving. "Stay; the; fuck; down!" she shouted angrily as she turned his ribcage into powder. She failed to notice the one last foe who rushed up behind her. But then Santa was at her side and he delivered a devastating haymaker to the man's thorax. Stunned, the intruder staggered back against the railing. With a growl, Santa grabbed him by the face and ruthlessly bent his back over the railing before leaping over and slamming his elbow across the man's neck as he went down to the main floor. The lifeless form crumpled next to him as he looked around, glaring. No foes remained standing. Aside from the music, all was quiet. "It is safe?" Ginny called from the gallery. "Are the scary guys and bug-thingies all gone?" "No," Santa said warily. "And the next wave is even bigger." "Great!" Ginny complained, tossing the useless nerf gun over the side. "And according to you, there's no one that can help us!" "I didn't say that," he countered, beckoning for her to come down the stairs and be near him for protection. "I just said there was no Easter Bunny." "No Superman either, apparently," she grumbled as she approached him, letting him put a huge arm around her possessively. He was, indeed, bigger than ever. She was practically child-sized next to him now. "So who the hell is there to help us?" "If help's arriving it had better get here soon," he said, taking her to the remains of her big glass bay windows and back door. The wind was howling as snow drove into the living room. What was left of it, anyway. Which was nothing. "It's now or never. Can you see them?" She peered into the darkness outside and a chill ran down her spine, hundreds of red and yellow glowing eyes could be seen in the darkness. And they seemed to be getting closer. "Do; do they see me?" she asked, swallowing nervously. "I'm sure they do," he said, grimacing. "Not going to take a chance and assume they don't. I'll do everything I can to protect you, of course." "Is; is that going to be enough?" She could hear the angry hisses and an evil chanting outside clearly now, getting closer with each moment. It pained Santa that he couldn't lie to her. "I don't know, Virginia." She sighed and smiled weakly. "Well, at least I know there's a Santa Claus now. And he gave me the night of my life before it all ended." He returned the smile, trying to feign a cheerfulness he didn't feel. "I don't;" Ginny faltered, trying to find the words. "I don't suppose that you'd; well; that you'd be willing to kiss me one last time? You know, before the end?" He turned to look down at her, his hands holding her arms with an unreal gentleness and a warmth in his eyes that comforted her even now. "Nothing would make me happier, Virginia." She smiled and closed her eyes. "Merry Christmas, Santa." "Merry Christmas, Virginia;" he said softly as he leaned down to kiss her. Then the night was filled with high-pitched shrieks, a noise that made her eyes snap open. She'd heard noises like that before, once a long time ago in grade school. It sounds like the hissing passage of meteors above, and getting closer. Or what she imagined artillery sounded like when it was incoming, like in all those war movies. Santa's head turned and an almost evil grin crept over his face as he listened. "That's more like it!" he declared, standing tall and pointing at the blackness of the night. "Watch the sky, Virginia;" She looked up and noticed glittering points of light, dozens of them, seeming to get closer. The hissing shriek was indeed their approach and they seemed to be aimed right at them. She felt Santa's hand squeeze on her shoulder, almost in excitement. His blue eyes were blazing ferociously. Finally, what looked like dozens of giant icicles, each larger and longer than a semi, lanced out of the night sky and slammed into the earth around her house, shaking it as they buried their tips in the frozen ground and came to a stop. Several impaled the intruders as they came in, while others kicked up a covering spray of snow as the enemy stopped and looked around in confusion. Then doors or portals opened on the sides of the titan icicles and tall, lithe beings began leaping out of them, wearing weird, form-fitting armor and carrying space-age guns and swords or axes. Their armor and long hair was a riot of colors that was reflected by the snow and ice. Wild, ululating war cries pierced the air. And a savage, bloody battle began on her property. "Who the hell are they?" Ginny almost yelled in astonishment as she watched. They moved with inhuman grace and speed, the ones not wearing helmets revealing long, beautiful facial features that were often frightening because of the wrath they displayed. The helmets were all tall and peaked, showing fearsome designs and glowing eyes. Weird runes pulsed and throbbed with light all over their armor. Guns hissed and shrieked while swords hummed as they slew. "My elves," Santa said, clearly pleased and also eager to fight but not willing to leave her side yet. "They got my call and converged on my position." "Those are elves?" she exclaimed in amazement. "Aren't they cutesy little toy-shop people?" "Cute myth, but no, not these ones," he replied, watching as several elves wearing bone-white armor with feminine features raced past, throwing themselves into a knot of the hulking bugs. They screamed and the masks of their wild-maned helmets gave off vibrations that shook Ginny's teeth in her head as it melted their foes' faces off. "No, a lot of my elves are warriors, meant to help me fight Krampus. They keep Christmas safe with me." "What the hell are they wearing?" she asked in disbelief. How could this weird night get any weirder? Santa sighed. "Truth? They've been spending way too much time playing Warhammer 40k and they; appropriated armor, weapons and tactics from the Eldar faction. They're space elves." "Wow. Gay;" she muttered, shaking her head. "Well, they're certainly earning their keep tonight." He nodded. "Been a long time since Krampus moved against us this hard. Apparently he got bored and was feeling uppity. That or he just forgot what a good thrashing felt like." Ginny watched as three elves, clad in scary black armor and wearing helmets that looked like peaked skulls, marched relentlessly forward, firing little rockets from elaborate launchers they carried in their hands and on suspensor harnesses. The rockets punctured the bugs' chitin shells and exploded inside them, sending shards of exoskeleton and stinking goo in every direction. Ginny squeaked and hid behind Santa as some of the nasty effluence landed right where she'd been standing only a moment before. Beams of super-heated plasma and tiny, shuriken-like projectiles hissed and whizzed by them, the remains of her lovely house now the center of a battleground while the winter storm raged on. Warriors in green armor, carrying weapons that looked like a horrifying hybrid of sword and chainsaw, tore into a knot of foes, slicing them to bloody ribbons. As savage as the battle had been earlier, when it had just been her and Santa, she suddenly appreciated its relative civility. "They need my help," Santa said finally, cracking his knuckles, his expression grim. "We have to finish this off or Christmas won't come on time." "I thought you said there was plenty of time." Ginny protested, frowning up at him. "There was," he admitted. "But in order to defeat Krampus' minions, I summoned every single quantum iteration of myself back to here to help me fight. No one is delivering presents anywhere at the moment. I can't change real-time if I'm here in my entirety." He turned and looked at her. "Hopefully we're keeping them busy enough that they don't worry about you. Stay against the wall and work the music, will you?" "Manning the music station," she said, nodding, focusing on giving herself a task. "Music for Santa and his homicidal elves to kill by. Got it;" She watched as Santa leapt through the shattered remains of her bay doors into the howling storm and crashed into a knot of foes, savaging them. She watched in disbelief for some time, trying to figure out how Santa could kill anyone. I mean, even serial murderers got presents in prison, didn't they? Maybe they didn't, she had no way of knowing and chalked up thinking about this to what could only be described as the weirdest night of her life. She squealed and dodged out of the way as a body came flying through the doors and landed next to her. She scrambled over to the entertainment center and stood in front of it, trying to figure out what the hell she should play. "Okay;" she breathed, trying to focus. "Mass slaughter music; mass slaughter music;" What constituted mass slaughter music? Death metal? Panic At The Disco? Teletubbies music? She had no playlists, so she began cycling through the radio, hoping to find anything that might suffice. Oldies; Christmas music; hip-hop; trance; disco; "Son of a fuck," she muttered. "This is harder than it looks." She finally came across a station playing 'Jailhouse Rock' and decided that was good enough, she was sick of looking. She winced, trying to ignore another splintering crash as a body came through her wall. She hugged herself but then felt her robe. She frowned as she looked down at it, realizing it had been thoroughly shredded in the fight earlier. Those shuriken-thingies had been cutting it real close. Ginny grumbled as she pulled it off and threw it away, standing there completely naked, it hadn't been keeping her warm in its current condition and she was thoroughly beyond giving a shit at this point about who saw her naked. They were all too damn busy tearing one another apart anyway. And that sort of pissed her off. She was buck-naked and no one seemed to care. She'd shaved her cunt for this? "And I thought my night sucked before," she sighed to no one in particular. "Not getting my cunt pounded had been my biggest complaint before this hack!" She never saw the menacing shadow that had slipped up behind her. Santa picked one of his foes up overhead and hurled him into a cluster of foes, bowling them all over. He then punched another man as he tried to run by, knocking him off his feet and into his back. A quick stamp on his solar plexus made sure he stopped moving. The huge man thrust his fist in the air and shouted loudly. "Clear!" he thundered, indicating no other enemies surrounded him. His elves responded in kind, many of them gathering in a tight ring about him, weapons facing out as they sought to protect him. Hundreds of bodies lay strewn across the landscape, some burning from plasma blasts, other shredded and blown apart by rockets or sliced into bloody jerky. The storm seemed to be abating, no longer a blizzard so much as a stiff wind and swirls of snow. "Sire, we detect no enemies in the immediate vicinity," one elf wearing blue armor with a tall, crested helmet announced, striding up and saluting by thumping his gauntleted fist over his heart. "This attack has been defeated." "Maybe," Santa said, looking around warily. "But that doesn't mean anything just yet. We have to secure the area, make sure Virginia is alright and then get back to” "Kringle!" "Damn," he muttered to himself. "I thought this was too easy." He made several complex gestures, sending his elves fanning out in a wide arc as he began trudging forward through the snow, heading toward where the voice had come from out of the night. The winds and squalls of snow continued to die down until there was an almost deafening silence, the moon shining brightly overhead and revealing the sheer carnage of the battle that had been waged, the snow and ice glittered with frozen blood. "Kringle!" snarled the inhuman voice angrily. "I'm coming, I'm coming!" Santa said loudly, scowling. "Don't get your panties in a bunch!" He stopped in a clearing on the other side of the house, glowering at who confronted him, the beast was not as tall as he was, nor as muscular, but horrifying in aspect. The backward-jointed, hairy legs ended in wicked hooves. The skin not covered in coarse black fur was almost as dark and criss-crossed with innumerable scars. The vascular chest was crowned with a strong neck and sitting atop it was a blasphemous head, a demonic goat's visage from which grew four evil, twisting horns. The red eyes blazed like wrathful coals and sharp teeth glistened wetly inside the hateful mouth. Krampus. And in one of his powerful, clawed hands, he held Virginia by the neck, who looked like a rag doll. "Hi, Santa;" she said weakly, looking very apologetic. Santa kept walking forward, clenching his fists. "By all means, Kringle, keep coming forward if you mean to slay the child." Krampus growled, starting to squeeze and causing Ginny to shudder in fear. Santa stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes narrowing. His elves had now cast a tight net around the scene, hemming in Krampus. One circle of warriors faced inward, pointing their weapons at the abomination while another behind them faced out, prepared for any further attacks. Santa didn't move. "Let the girl go, Krampus," he said levelly. "This doesn't concern her." "Oh, I beg to differ," said the beastman in an almost non-chalant tone. "It's always about the children, isn't it?" "Hey!" said Ginny angrily. "I am not a child, jerk! I'm twenty, Gurr!" "Oh, do stop talking, you're such an annoyance." Krampus said, giving her neck another warning squeeze. "Let the adults work this out." "There's nothing to work out, Krampus," Santa growled, his blue eyes flashing. "You'll let the girl go." "I think we both know that's not happening," intoned the vile intruder. "She is my victory over you, and you know it. Revenge is not only a dish best served cold but often. And not often enough for me." "About this cold revenge dish thing," Ginny said, squirming slightly. "Couldn't; couldn't I just find you a nice tin can to chew on instead?" "Shut up, girl!" Krampus said harshly while several elves could be heard to chuckle and even Santa smirked at her jest. "I hold your life in my hands, to dispose of as I please." His foul breath crackled in the cold night air. His touch was uncomfortably warm, almost hot and strangely kept her body from freezing in the winter night. His touch felt evil and her skin crawled in revulsion. His strength was terrifying. "It wasn't enough that I slaved in coal mines for you, giving you carbon lumps to deliver to naughty children," Krampus growled, glaring at Santa. "It wasn't enough that I found the worst of them and brought them to you in the night so you could lecture them." "Hey, nobody asked you or ordered you to do the coal thing, pal," Santa said angrily. "And the whole kidnapping kids thing was your idea. I decided to let you have some creative control and look what happened. When it didn't work out, you decided that beating naughty kids with reeds was the answer. You're damn right that wasn't good enough!" "Silence!" Krampus snarled loudly, stamping one of his clawed hooves and making the ground shake dangerously. "Your kind-hearted foolishness with these puny mortals changed nothing about their behavior! Your failure to recognize their inherent selfishness was why our efforts were doomed!" "These puny mortals?" Santa countered. "You used to be one of them, Pete, remember? You were a well-behaved boy once." "Shut up!" growled Krampus. "Well-behaved, but not good," Santa continued. "You followed the rules and wanted everyone to follow rules. You were a control freak. I brought you north to show you what kindness could do, but you hated the cheer and the happiness and you fled to the coal mines in Greenland, hiding in the dark where the light of Christmas couldn't touch you! And when making kids feel bad with coal didn't bring them into line, you started the whole whipping them with reeds thing. Good job there, Pete!" "I'm warning you, Kringle;" Krampus said dangerously. "Oh, he really gets your goat, doesn't he?" Ginny sneered, causing several elves to laugh loudly. Krampus now snarled furiously and lifted her into the air by her neck, causing her to cry out in pain. Santa watched warily, knowing better than to make a move. "We seem to have an impasse," Krampus said, an evil smile playing over his slavering mouth. "You cannot harm me, because you know I can slay the child, but I cannot as yet slay her because she is my bargaining chip. But my need to hurt you, old man, is so very strong." He lowered Ginny down until her feet were just touching the snow-covered ground. She frowned as she heard a wet slithering sound she could not identify. "And there are other ways to hurt you than slaying the poor dear, aren't there?" Ginny felt something slimy touch her leg and then start to crawl up it, wrapping around her smooth skin. She shuddered and squirmed in horror as she realized exactly what was happening. The snake-like appendage wound up her thigh and then behind her. She gasped as it slid between her ass cheeks and then underneath to her cunt. She felt the blunt head split her lips and then move upward again. "Don't do this, Krampus." Santa said, trying to figure out what to do without hurting Ginny. "And why not?" replied the qliphotic abomination. "Don't you have a present for me? Then I guess I'll have to give myself one." Krampus' organ continued to slither its way around her body, leaving a glistening trail on her skin. She stiffened and moaned as his appendage wrapped around her tits, squeezing them, the head pausing and teasing the nipples. "Hey, asshole, dinner and a movie first!" she spat angrily. Ginny was about to say something else when the large, grayish cockhead snaked up in front of her face and then plunged into her mouth, causing her to gag and go silent. Her eyes widened and she thrashed furiously, but to no avail. He was simply too strong. "Language, young lady." Krampus chided, still staring at Santa. "Hasn't Santa taught you anything?" "This isn't gonna end well for you, Pete." Santa said, his tone dire. "Christmas never does, Kringle," replied the demon, his cock sliding in and out of Ginny's mouth. "I'm just hoping to make the holiday every bit as awful and intolerable for you as it is for me. After all, misery loves company." He brought her body close to his head and his other hand reached over and stroked her cunt lips, which were glistening. He leered at his foe, knowing Santa was helpless to get closer. "Is she good down here?" Krampus said mockingly. "Nice and wet and tight for you? Was she the best one ever, in the endless list of good girls you have fucked?" Santa said nothing, just glaring at Krampus. His knuckles were white as he clenched his fists. "Sharing your toys is the spirit of Christmas, isn't it?" Krampus said evilly, finally pulling his cock out of her mouth. Ginny coughed and sputtered, tendrils of resinous spittle and worse trailing away from her lips. She glared at Krampus but was still immobilized. "Just get this over with and fuck me already, whip-cock," she spat. "You won't be my first egotistical disappointment, trust me." Krampus' eyes blazed red and his tongue sped around her naked form blindingly quickly while he released her from his clawed grip. The tongue wrapped and immobilized her arms, holding them out straight while still encircling her tits. It then snaked around her waist and legs, pinning those as well while his long cock, swaying about like a cobra, came to a stop in front of her swollen cunt lips. The head teased and tapped against the opening, causing her to moan and squirm. "As you wish, child;" The head forced itself through her lips, sliding deep inside her. Ginny cried out in a mixture of shock and indescribable pleasure. She felt the tip of his pointed tongue probe trailing around her nipples. The python-like length of his cock churned inside her cunt. The blinding light behind her eyes finally receded and she lifted her head, looking out into the night, feeling his tongue constricting around her neck. She could dimly see a huge being in red pants and black boots watching nearby, his powerful chest exposed. The startling blue eyes flashed in the darkness of the night. She could tell he wanted to rescue her but didn't dare come closer. She gasped and shuddered as Krampus' cock pushed still deeper inside her. She felt fuller than she had imagined possible, the slithering appendage stretching her wide. The sticky, squelching noises were hardly to be believed. "Ew, gross! Hentai noises!" she thought in revulsion. "Krampus;" Santa warned. His elves all pointed their weapons menacingly but he held up his hand, staying them. "The child is naughty," Krampus said, smiling through pointed teeth. "Very naughty. Such a sordid past." "Hey, back off, she was young and needed the money!" Santa snapped defensively. "That thing with the midget and the donkey was” "You're not helping here!" Ginny shouted, blushing furiously, even as Krampus violated her. "Wicked child," growled the vile demon, shoving his cock in and out of her, the peristaltic actions of its length causing her to writhe and squirm in his grip, her breath coming in ragged gasps. "Shameless. Even though I violate her, she finds a way to be concerned about how you perceive her. I find it; titillating." "Oh, do I make you horny?" she sneered, turning her head to smirk at him. "Couldn't tell, looking at that head of yours." "Silence!" Krampus hissed, spittle flying from his jaws, his eyes flashing angrily. "I hold your life and death in my hands." "How would I know?" she shot back. "Hope you're better with your hands than you are with your cock, Billy G." He plunged his cock deeper still inside her. She went rigid and cried out. "That all you got?" she rasped, trying not to faint as she felt popping inside her hips while he stetched her. "My brother got in deeper than that when we were little!" "Insolent!" Krampus snarled savagely, bouncing her up and down and he fucked her harder than ever, pulling on her arms and legs, stretching her joints til they creaked. She felt a deep, wet heat building inside her and in spite of the horror she consciously felt about the situation, even more dire was her need to cum. She felt her cunt squeezing around his cock. His snake-like tongue probed her ass and wriggled inside, further adding to her desperation. "Intholent bith, you will be punithed!" "What was that?" Santa asked, turning his head slightly and putting his hand to his ear. "I couldn't understand you, it's like you have a lisp or something." "Don't mock meef!" Krampus said angrily, his tongue whipping out of Ginny's ass, causing her to yelp suddenly. "I'll kill her, Kringle!" "Not before I cum, damn you!" Ginny panted, her body flushed and covered in sweat as she twisted and writhed in his grip. "Uh, so close, goddammit!" "Language!" Santa and Krampus both snapped at her. "Aw, c'mon!" she wailed. "You two are total pains in the ass! Do it, Billy! Show me what a bad boy you are!" Krampus glared at her and began fucking her harder than ever. "As you wish, child!" "Krampus!" Santa shouted, reaching out his hand in alarm. "Don't!" Krampus grinned evilly at Santa, his teeth clenching as he drew close to climax. His cock seemed to swell along its length, stretching her wider still. She threw her head back and gritted her teeth, straining as she was overwhelmed by sensation; Santa's fist slammed across Krampus' jaw with a powerful crack. The demonoid's eyes rolled into his head and he crumpled to the ground. Ginny wailed in frustration as his cock pulled out of her and retreated back to his body, like a wet, slimy Stanley tape measure. She collapsed to her hands and knees in the snow, panting and shaking, her eyes wide. Santa raced up and knelt next to her, his eyes shining with concern. "Fuck;" Ginny whispered, gasping for air. "Motherfucker;" She looked up at her rescuer now, her eyes flashing accusingly. "The hell? Couldn't you have let him make me cum first?" Santa paused. "What?" "I was so damn close!" she hissed, standing up and stamping her foot. "I was within half a second of the orgasm of my life and you had to choose that moment to intervene and play the hero! Don't expect a thank you card!" "Uh, Virginia," Santa said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, trying to figure out what to say. "If he had brought you to orgasm, it would have killed you. When Krampus climaxes, his appendage you were so attached to bursts into spikes, basically killing you from the inside while denying you your orgasm." She paused and then deflated. "Holy cobra dildos. What a bastard." Ginny then pointed a finger at her savior. "But you still owe me an orgasm, then, pal. You may have rescued me from certain death, but that doesn't mean I don't need relief." Santa looked really confused. "What, here? Now?" "Damn straight," she said firmly, suddenly remembering she was buck naked in a snow-storm. In spite of the no-doubt freezing weather, her body was still warm and very wet with need. She put her hand down her cunt and felt around for a moment before presenting her sticky palm and fingers to Santa for inspection. "Do I look satisfied to you? You've already fucked me, Screamo the Goat Boy just fucked me, who cares if your freaky gay elves watch us? I need satisfaction now and I already am aware that you can't say no." Santa sighed. "It's gotta be quick, Virginia. I'm really behind, now that I'm completely temporal in one location." "Whatever, just get me to the promised land, man." Ginny replied, shrugging. "Who knows, maybe your entourage might enjoy a show." "Oh, right, about that," Santa said, standing up tall and shouting loudly. "About; Face!" As a single unit, the elves all turned around smartly on their heels, still arranged in a protective ring around their liege and his companion, weapons ready as they scanned the darkness for trouble, their eyes glowing menacingly inside their helmets. Santa strode up to Ginny, towering over her and ignoring the prostrate form of the still-unconscious Krampus, snuffling nearby. She smiled up at him, somehow warmed by his presence, in spite of the icy night she should have frozen to death in already. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. She moaned into his mouth as she felt her already molten core getting even more heated in response to his touch. Tongues tangled and played as he took her ass cheeks in his hands and squeezed them, making her shiver. Ginny's hands fumbled with his large black belt until it fell away and then pulled down his red pants. He pulled her onto his powerful thighs, resting her on them. She hooked her legs behind his waist and began grinding her wet, eager cunt against his hardening cock, which swelled readily. Her head was almost spinning, she was so horny. "Hmm, give it to me, baby," she purred, feeling the head of his cock touch her cunt lips. "Make me cum hard and fast." She sighed loudly as he pulled her close, penetrating and sliding deep inside her. Ginny moaned shamelessly as Santa once again began to pump back and forth inside her. His huge cock stretched her cunt wide, but not in the violent, violating way Krampus did. This felt warm and utterly perfect. She nipped at the skin of his chest while he moved in and out of her. "Yes," Ginny breathed as he began to moved faster, pumping strongly and rhythmically. She could feel her wetness trickling down between her cheeks, her cunt clutching at him hungrily, greedily and unwilling to let go until it was somehow sated. "Oh, God, just what I needed. Yes, fuck me, Santa!" He gripped her tight and thrust into her, picking up his pace just the way she wanted. She was gasping and yelping now and he squeezed her cheeks, one of his fingers poking inside her puckered knot. She clenched her teeth and groaned at the intrusion, murmuring that she loved it. She grew warmer and warmer, her body tingling with an exquisite fire that rippled out from her core. Santa turned her around and set her feet on top of his boots, bending her forward and pulling on her arms. She cried out as he fucked her harder, his hips thumping against her ass cheeks. Her hands clenched wildly, her breath coming in gasps as his overwhelming strength dominated her. "Oh, God!" she panted, beginning to shudder uncontrollably, almost drooling. "Uh, cum in me, dammit! Fucking cum in me!" Santa pulled on her arms even tighter as his thighs slammed into her. Ginny strained, craning her neck, teeth clenched as she tried not to scream, but it was no use, she wailed loudly as he came inside her, filling her once again in a way she could not describe. Her orgasm shook every last atom of her being, transporting her to a world of nothing but pleasure, edged with mint. She buckled, hanging loosely in his arms, exhausted. She'd been fucked hard at least five times tonight and had a dreadful suspicion that this experience would only make her libido even more hyperactive. She sighed as Santa scooped her naked form into his arms and cuddled her against the cold. Ginny purred and traced a fingernail across his broad chest. "Thank you," she said quietly. "Just what the doctor ordered. That quenched the flames, for now." He finally put her down and she looked at the remains of her ruined chateau, which was completely leveled and now on fire. "Poor Oatmeal," she murmured. "Where am I going to live?" She scowled down at the still supine Krampus, anger flaring in her. "It's this jack wagon’s fault. You should totally napalm his face." Santa looked down at her in shock. "Did you just say I should jerk off in Krampus' face?" "Damn right, he'd deserve it too." Ginny announced. "That and shove your sleigh up his ass." "I am not jizzing in Krampus' face." Santa said, clearly repulsed by the suggestion. "Fine, leave a woman to do a man's job," Ginny said testily, striding over to Krampus and putting one leg on either side of his head. She stuck three fingers inside her cunt and managed to tease out considerable amounts of Santa's minty cum, which she smeared all over Krampus' face and into his fur with glee, even giving him a glistening white moustache. "Take that, asshole!" She looked like she might have been done desecrating the unconscious form, but then she paused and squatted over him, peeing on his body and face, the stream steaming in the cold night air. She grinned evilly as she thoroughly baptized him. "Teach you to mess with me." Ginny muttered as she walked back to Santa, nodding. The huge man had a wide smirk on his face and shook his head slowly. "I can't believe you just pissed all over Krampus," he said, hugging her to him. "However, you're going to freeze to death at this rate;" He held out his hand and one of his elves dutifully brought him a large, velvety red cloak, which he wrapped around her. She blushed and smiled gratefully at his consideration, but only until he slid it off her, revealing that she was now wearing some ridiculous 'Hot Christmas Elf' outfit, complete with striped stockings and high heels. She looked like a Yule whore. "Seriously?" she asked, unimpressed. "This is your solution to my naked issues?" He shrugged. "I liked you better naked, but you would freeze quickly." "Whatever," she sighed, looking down and appreciating the considerable lift it gave her cleavage. It was incredibly warm, in spite of how scant it was. "So now what? I still have no damn home, you and Goatse here blew it up with your little barnyard brawl." Santa looked around warily. "That might be the least of your worries. The wind's picking up again, which means that another assault is coming. We need to get out of here." "Sire!" said one of the armored elves, thumping his fist to his breastplate and bowing his head. "We will cover you. You must go while you still have a head-start and the dark one is unconscious." Santa nodded. "Yeah, he's not gonna be happy when he wakes up and he's really gonna want revenge on you, Virginia." She felt her mouth go dry at the notion of another battle and Krampus waking up to even the score. "So; now what?" Santa shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly obvious. I've still got to make my rounds before the night is over and I'm not leaving you here;" She gaped as he put his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her eyes. "Virginia, you're coming with me and you're going to help save Christmas." Chapter 3, Christmas Wishes "How the hell do you drive this thing?" Ginny called in a panic, her eyes wide as she held onto the reigns, twisting them wildly as she tried to steer. Up ahead of her, eight large reindeer squealed and thrashed their heads. The sleigh corkscrewed while it hurtled through the cold night air, the moon shining down on them. "Well, first of all, stop panicking," Santa replied as he stood on the back of the sleigh, atop his huge red sack of toys. He was more or less back to his original size she had become accustomed to, now that he had sent his other 'iterations' of himself out over the globe to deliver presents. "That would be an excellent start." "Easy for you to say," she snapped, scowling back at him for a moment since taking her eyes off her designated path seemed to make no difference to how she was doing at navigating. "You're used to doing this!" "Trust me, between the two of us, you're the one with the easy job right now and I'd be happy to trade," he called back as he ducked wildly. A comically large rocket thundered by, with an evil-looking man strapped to the bottom of it, swinging a weapon wildly to hit Santa. "Try to keep her steady!" "While dodging psychos on rockets, no problem!" she grumbled, trying to ignore the howling wind and roaring projectiles. "Have I mentioned Krampus is a gigantic asshole?" "Repeatedly," Santa answered, watching warily. The sky was threaded with jets of fire as their enemies kept coming about in ponderous, elliptical arcs and heading back towards them, intent on their destruction. They had only just pulled off from the smoldering remains of Ginny's country chateau when the assault began. Krampus was nowhere to be seen, but his minions were clearly determined to avenge him. "Maybe urinating on him wasn't such a good idea. He never did take humiliation well." Ginny squawked in alarm and ducked as a rocket streaked right at her. Santa jumped in the air, doing the splits to avoid the projectile and landing back on top of his present sack. Another tried to pull up alongside them but Santa grabbed the harness the man was wearing and wrenched the rocket off course, sending it speeding into one some distance away. Both rockets (and presumably their pilots) exploded in a violent orgy of noise and flashing lights. "Really hope people just think those are fireworks," Santa muttered as he looked glared balefully at yet another rocket considering approaching. "Fireworks right in the middle of the world's most spastic meteor shower. Sure, they'll buy that;" "Funny part is I can't tell if you're serious," Ginny said loudly. "If they don't believe that narrative, then they've gotta accept that Santa Claus was engaged in an epic air battle over their town with quantum men strapped to rockets." "Truth is often stranger than fiction," Santa agreed, nodding. "Fighting these jerks off is taking too much time!" "Well, don't you have anything in your back of tricks there?" Ginny asked. In spite of the sleigh being open, it seemed to have some weird form of climate control and she'd been getting rather warm. To that end she'd pulled down her top, exposing her tits to cool herself off. The breeze allowed through made her nipples tingle delightfully, but not enough to distract her from driving the sleigh. After all, she often drove ninety minutes to her job wearing a vibrating insert in her panties, so she knew for a fact she could orgasm and still control a vehicle. A wheeled one, at least. She wasn't so sure about a sleigh doing Mach Three at twenty thousand feet. "You mean a weapon?" Santa asked. "In the bag full of toys for kids?" "You gave me a nerf gun out of that bag and it turned out to be some sort of doomsday device, didn't it?" she pointed out. "Scary lightning bolts everywhere. I refuse to believe you don't have some other goodies in there." Santa shrugged and squatted down to look inside the bag, getting narrowly missed by another rocket that shot over his head. The pilot cursed and came around again, aiming directly at the chassis of the sleigh from the side. Ginny's eyes widened in fright as she saw him approach. She jerked the reins to one side and the sleigh tilted ninety degrees, presenting its wide, flat red underside. The rocket slammed into it and exploded. Whatever it was made of or whatever shielding was in place, Ginny only heard the detonation and felt a rumble, but there was no damage aside from that. "Ha!" Santa said, standing tall and holding an electric guitar in the air, its black body gleamed in the moonlight. He put the strap around his neck and took several seconds to tune it, ignoring the aerial mayhem that swirled around him. "The hell are you going to do with that?" Ginny asked, scowling as she looked behind to see what he was up to. "You said to find something, I found something," he said simply as he checked the pickups. "Now let's see what we can do here;" He took the pick in hand and strummed it across the strings, a screeching pulse of sound blared out from the instrument, heading in all directions. It struck several rockets nearby, which exploded brightly. Other were knocked off course, spiraling around crazily as they fought for control. Santa laughed loudly, apparently enjoying himself. "Quit laughing and kill, red man!" Ginny yelled, nonplussed by his amusement. "I want to survive the night and I've had several close calls with death already!" "I'm working on it, Virginia, patience." Santa chided, adjusting the tuners momentarily. "Near-death experiences make you cranky." "No shit, Sherlock," she grumbled as he blasted out another screeching wave of sound. "Do you plan to play anything or just keep shrieking out that one sound?" "As you wish," he said cheerfully, pleased to be doing as she asked. Making her happy was all he cared about. He began playing a heavy metal version of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries', the pulsing walls of sound thundering out and striking every foe within hundreds of

Adam is joined by comrades Abigail Susik (@abigailsusik7), Ben Morea (@ben_morea), and Breanne Fahs to discuss the synthesis of art and activism, as exemplified by Ben's central role within such collectives as Up Against the Wall Motherfucker! Black Mask, and The Rat during the 60s and 70s in New York. We spoke about Ben's life and work, from the “redistribution” of garbage to New York's freshly gentrified Lincoln Centre, breaking into the Pentagon, and helping to inspire the current tactics of the black bloc. Further, we explore the practice of decommodified art against the commercialism of Andy Warhol, and what lessons the radicals of today can learn from the history of a militant, psychedelic surrealism. A new book of interviews with Ben, “Full Circle: A Life in Rebellion” is available now from Detritus Books: https://detritusbooks.com/products/full-circle-a-life-in-rebellion-ben-moreaBen is currently making a living through selling his own original artworks, and you can purchase one or more yourselves by getting in contact via his Instragram @ben_morea. Support radical antifascist art!Durations Festival tickets: https://dice.fm/event/v3oy6l-durations-five-gates-disquiet-of-the-virtual-and-the-artificial-8th-nov-public-records-new-york-ticketsSupport the showSupport the podcast:Current classes at Acid Horizon Research Commons (AHRC): https://www.acidhorizonpodcast.com/ahrc-mainWebsite: https://www.acidhorizonpodcast.com/Linktree: https://linktr.ee/acidhorizonAcid Horizon on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/acidhorizonpodcast Boycott Watkins Media: https://xenogothic.com/2025/03/17/boycott-watkins-statement/ Join The Schizoanalysis Project: https://discord.gg/4WtaXG3QxnSubscribe to us on your favorite podcast: https://pod.link/1512615438Merch: http://www.crit-drip.comSubscribe to us on your favorite podcast platform: https://pod.link/1512615438 LEPHT HAND: https://www.patreon.com/LEPHTHANDHappy Hour at Hippel's (Adam's blog): https://happyhourathippels.wordpress.com​Split Infinities (Craig's Substack): https://splitinfinities.substack.com/​Music: https://sereptie.bandcamp.com/ and https://thecominginsurrection.bandcamp.com/

Time to read the Epilogues simultaneously until Moosie decides on a route! This time we finish the first Epilogue for Meat and Candy.Creators & Guests Domi - Editor Domi - Composer Moosie - Host WebsiteDiscordYoutubeTiktokHow to read HomestuckHire Domi to edit and produce your podcast! ★ Support this podcast ★ Reply on Bluesky

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 26 A New Student (tribal) Council   In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.             If you can't look in a mirror and laugh at yourself, cut off the light             "Can we put other restrictions on you?" Simone Brady prodded.   "This is not the 'Zane' show," Virginia Goodswell interjected. "We need to decide when the new Student government will meet, I suggest Tuesday nights, and how we are going to conduct business."   "We can start by deciding where we meet," Chastity spoke up. "I vote for Zane's place."   "What's wrong with the Assembly Hall, where we've always met?" Rhaine countered.   "Rhaine, you are drinking a Doctor Pepper, KayLeigh, you are drinking a grape juice, and Joy was eating a bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup when I got here," Hope snickered. "You have hot plates and microwaves too, if needed."   Rhaine, Joy, and KayLeigh, all Traditionalists, looked guilty. They also looked like they treasured their creature comforts because they weren't running for the door.   "It is a nice place," KayLeigh admitted.   "And you don't get to come back up here otherwise," Rio grinned evilly. "This floor is devoted to the freshman class."   "There are a lot of upperclassmen up here right now," Rhaine pointed out.   "Those are what you would call 'friends'," Rio sneered. "If you weren't freaking evil, you might have some."   "Please don't put it that way," I requested of Rio. Rio had every reason to be cranky. Mercy looked even more exhausted sitting at her side.   "Zane will arrange the room to fit your needs," Christina finally spoke, "I guarantee it."   "You think you can control him?" Rhaine shot back.   "I'm not afraid of him; he's not some wild beast. I ask him to do things for me and he does," Christina chided Rhaine. "He is like any other freshman; it is that simple."   "He's rather mouthy for a freshman," Hannah joked.   "Well, maybe if you put my mouth to other uses," I bantered back. There was a moment of silence followed by Dana Gorman taking up her bottled water and walking over to me. She smiled down at my seated form while she poured out the remaining water onto my crown.   "Cool off, Casanova," Dana cautioned me playfully before returning to her seat.   "Exactly why do you keep her around again?" Rio slapped my shoulder.   "Can you imagine how insufferable Christina would be if Coach didn't keep her in line?" I smiled. Christina rolled her eyes while Rio chuckled. Virginia stood up and cleared her throat.   "I want to make sure that all the ladies, plus Zane, plan to make this experiment work. It is rather pointless to proceed if any of you can't be honest now," Virginia, my Spiritual Advisor, poled the audience. Most of the girls looked around to see who would do what but no one jumped.   "I think it is safe to say that we students will stay true to the Vice Chancellor's plan, though this is not an endorsement of Zane, his conduct, or even his continued presence here," Rhaine spoke for the group.   "With that settled, we can call it a night," Doctor Kennedy declared. "Ladies, consider what issues we need to deal with so we can bring them up next Tuesday night, 9 pm."   "Who do we send the itinerary to?" Simone inquired.   "Zane," Hudson Lane volunteered me.   "I nominate Faith De Young (of Christina's inner circle) to be our Secretary of Record, if she wants the job," I said. Faith looked completely taken off-guard but nodded quickly.   "I'll do it," she made clear. The meeting broke up soon after with most of the student leadership departing. Dana, Hudson, and Christina & company hung around a little longer.   "Not the Glamorous Gremlin?" Rio teased me on my choice of Secretary. She gasped and nearly fell over right after that. Iona smiled softly and shook her head. She realized that she was still a freshman and her day would come.   "Ah, here's one of the controllers," Heaven gave a devilish smile as she handed the device over to Rio. Miraculously, the other three sexual wonders were also handed over, ending the threat of torture for the day.   "I see a spanking machine in you bitches' future," Rio snarled at Chastity, Hope, Heaven, Faith, and Christina.   "I swear, I tried to get one of those damn things all day long," Valarie griped. "You would think that after setting this up, someone would have given me one, but no, I am a freshman so I don't get to play the game."   "It was you!" Rio screamed, and lunged at Valarie, who comically batted her away as Vivian and Mercy intervened.   "Yes," Val laughed, "but it was Iona who figured out how to have captured your days by enlisting the aid of classmates with video phones. I can tell today's footage is going to be a classic."   "Why did you do it?" Vivian asked Valarie.   "I had revenge on Rio and made Mercy ecstatically happy; it was a win-win," Val grinned vindictively. It was a credit to Rio's berserk nature that no one asked what Rio had done to warrant revenge; everyone automatically assumed that Valarie was justified.   "Everyone's sympathy is under-whelming," Rio grumbled. "Come on, Mercy, let's get these things off."   "Do we have to?" Mercy pleaded softly. Hell, I imagine she could barely stand but apparently, her limit to sexual overstimulation was unconsciousness. Rio used one finger to hook Mercy's collar and pulled her close.   "How dare you talk back," Rio whispered, but I was close enough to hear. "I was going to settle for the vibrating nipple clamps that arrived today but now I'm thinking a few dozen paddle blows, to each cheek, are in your future, you annoying little bitch."   Annoying was Mercy and Rio's code word for 'love'; Rio simply couldn't stand the 'L' word.   "Vibrating nipple clamps?" Christina was both confused and amused. "Where do you people come up with this stuff?"   "Adam and Eve," Rio shot back without batting an eye. "Wait until I have Mercy's nipples and lips pierced; then the real fun begins."   "I don't think Mercy should have her lips pierced," Vivian suggested forcefully. "They'd be glaringly obvious." Rio groaned and sighed.   "Not those lips," Rio clarified. "The other ones, you know, labia, cunt lips, cunt etc." There was a pregnant pause in the room. "Attach vibrator wires to those bad boys and Wow! Let the magic begin."   Mercy and Rio really were made for each other; they were both salivating at the prospect. Thankfully, I saw Cassandra hovering around and looking ready for me to start playing towel boy.   "Ladies, one last duty to perform and then my day is done," I attempted my exit.   "Zane, is it alright if I spend the night?" Hope ambushed me.   "Of course," I smiled, because I'm a fucking idiot who is an embarrassment to the very concept of the mentally challenged and a parody of every teen boy date flick. I was already spending time with Iona, Paige, Barbie Lynn, and now Hope.   Maybe I can find a way to have a secret government space array shoot an earthquake laser at my feet so a pit opens up underneath me and I plummet to a fiery death at the Earth's core. Maybe I watch too much bad TV.   "Iona, did my Viagra arrive yet," I teased my buddy. "I'm going to need a pill tonight."   "Oh, Zane, I don't think we have any but I'll go online and see what I can get for you," Iona replied in all seriousness.   "I know some guys who smuggle them in from Mexico," Valarie offered. "I'll make some calls."   "That is so cool!" Barbie Lynn clapped her hands. "Now he'll never go down. I can ride him all night long." She hugged me while a fearful vision of my desiccated, sperm-drained husk lying open-eyed and lifeless on my bed danced before my eyes.   "Zane?" Cassandra called out.   "Oh, yes, towel boy and bikini selection," I muttered. I gravitated her way, took her hand, and led her to my room.   "What's that about?" Vivian mused.   "Handmaiden's Duty," Iona informed the ladies. "He picks out a bikini for her and acts as pool boy while she's in the Jacuzzi."   "I hope someone cleans that thing from time to time," Faith shuddered.   "Every morning at ten o'clock it is drained and cleaned, and the filter cleaned every Monday," Iona droned on without even looking up. The rest of that exchange was lost as I retreated to my bedroom.   What followed could be blamed on Cassandra accidently dropping her drink in the Jacuzzi and me having to retrieve it; it was an unopened soda can. Or maybe it could be blamed on the surprisingly conservative (for my room) white and black striped bikini she wore. Whatever was the catalyst, inside five minutes I had Cassandra out of her suit, front to front, her crotch pressing me against the side of the Jacuzzi with my head barely above water while she rode my face in a pattern and energy that reminded me of Hawaii's North Shore.   Cassandra was pounding the back of my head against the wood wall as she drove her cunt over my lips and tongue again and again.   "Oh, Baby, you are so much better than my fingers," she communicated with an erotic growl. "Keep it up, keep it up!" She was the one in the control of the sexual rhythm so I was not sure what else I might do but keep licking and sucking as hard as I could.   I was finally able to run a hand along her chocolate flesh until I managed to push against her sternum and got her to roll her shoulders back. That allowed me to start massaging and stroking one of her breasts while my other hand got between her legs from behind and gently penetrated her cunt.   "Za, za, za, Zane!" she screamed out. Note to self: Add earplugs to my Must Have List.   Cassandra slathered my nose, lips, and chin with her rather scalding, light to the tongue and tasty fluids. If she wasn't still trying to give me a concussion with her hips I might have enjoyed it more. As her orgasm dissipated, she slid down my body with a sated sigh. Her legs were outside mine so as she descended, her cunt came to rest on my Speedo-encased cock. Saying that my cock was hard would be like saying snow is cold or the English love their soccer; pretty much a given.   Her eyes grew wide when she realized where she rested. She's a senior and a virgin in a Christian Girl's school, she began humping me, of course. Being Cassandra, she began humping me hard and thumping her way to another climax.   "Zane, I am totally rethinking you being allowed on campus," Cassandra panted.   "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?" I wondered. At this time I had one finger lightly in her cunt as my other hand tenderly tweaked one of her nipples.   "Oh, I think every junior and senior should have their own personal freshman boy to keep under control with a strong hand," she grinned while she kept working my rod over with her cunt.   "Wouldn't it be nice if we developed a peaceful, platonic relationship based on mutual trust and respect?" I suggested hopefully. Cassandra gave a deep, throaty laugh.   "You're funny, but no," she grinned evilly. "After all, if that was the case, I couldn't do this: Zane, suck my other nipple, suck it hard, while I play with your fat phallus." Oh yeah, I love the way this is going (insert internalized weeping).   She worked out my cock painfully fast and began rubbing it deeply between her labia, to the point I felt the tightness of her vaginal walls on my cockhead.   "Zane, you know a whole lot about the sex stuff," she stated. "What's a cock ring?" Oh, HELL No! I have enough difficulty ejaculating as is. The last thing I need is something that allows another to make the prospects of my ejaculation even dimmer.   "It's a device, a ring, that is placed over the base of the cock to restrict blood flow, thus allowing longer erections," I grudgingly confessed. "Thinking about getting one, as a Christmas present, for someone out of state?"   "So, you could have intercourse, for a long time, and not ejaculate, so a girl would be, safe, in fucking you raw?" Cassandra's voice was becoming more strained.   "Technically, yes, but a little music, some hand-holding, and dinner at McDonald's would suffice in getting me aroused," I tried to explain. "There is no need for, something like that."   "Zane, clearly God put you, on this campus as a test for, true believers," Cassandra related, "And every woman here needs, to be tested, A Lot!" she screamed out her second orgasm of the night.   My hands raced down to grab each luscious buttock before her spasms caused her to slip down my cock and make her virginity a thing of the past. When my cock slapped against my stomach, I held Cassandra tight until she calmed down.   "You need to stay on campus during the weekends," Cassandra moaned with content exhaustion, "so we can use you more often."   "Why do you think I flee campus every weekend?" I thought. If she had her way, I'd be walking around with an IV in my arm and popping Viagra like M&M's. I chose life! If you think I am a coward, step up and take my place. I'll sneak back into the cemetery at night and put a flower on your headstone. You can take that permanent smile etched on your face to your grave, He-Man.   "I have to ask: What brought this on?" I inquired.   "I received one of Mercy's controls and we shared the next class," Cassandra confessed. "She glowed with such pleasure I thought she would pass out. I was suddenly curious."   "I had nothing to do with that," I groaned. "I swear, it wasn't me." Cassandra placed one hand on each side of my face.   "Zane, it wasn't you, I know that," she smiled, "but it is your presence that allowed something like that, her ability to experience that level of pleasure, that I want to experience. I have to go now. I need to report to the other girls what it was like so we can figure out what to do with you next."   You know, if I had been paranoid, I would have been right, people are plotting against me. Cassandra stood up and stepped onto the bench so that I was once more facing her puffy, somewhat abused cunt lips before she swung one leg over me and exited the tub. I closed my eyes and let my head hang over the side, facing up.   "Towel boy," Cassandra taunted me. I looked at her. Cassandra was dripping wet and she was extending a towel my way. I pulled my own tired ass out of the Jacuzzi and tenderly buffed her excellent body until she was dry. She gave me one last kiss, dressed, and virtually skipped out of my domain, happy, arrogant and plotting my demise.   I cleaned up, dealt with the Jacuzzi, and took in my surroundings. The only witnesses to my congress and conversation with Cassandra were Dana Gorman and Hudson Lane, my voyeuristic adult female 'friends'.   Dana pulled me over as I walked passed her. Hudson Lane had gone off to get some drinks.   "You and Gabrielle, ?"   "You have no respect for my survival instincts, do you?" I chuckled.   "Not really," Dana smirked.   "Fine," I groaned in feigned annoyance. "She wanted to talk so we talked, nothing else happened."   "She beat you up, didn't she?" Gorman persisted.   Another deep sigh on my part came out before I confessed, "Yes. Why do you ask?"   "I wanted to smack you around from the first day I met you," Dana laughed. "I think Ms. Black has done admirably not beating you black and blue before now."   "Has yet another girl beaten Zane up?" Hudson angled around to sit next to Dana. "The consistency of the femdom attitudes at this school is frightening."   "Don't throw stones, Ms. Lane," Dana warned her. "You, Zane, and Ms. Messier, the lawyer Ms. Buchanan hired to help Zane when he went to jail, I was head of security when it happened and I know when Ms. Messier arrived on campus, where she stayed, and when she, and you, left this dorm."   "You never said anything to Chancellor Bazz?" Hudson worried.   "No," Dana responded. "You three are adults, and ruining your career here wouldn't have made expelling Zane any easier. I wasn't the sex police."   "Thank you," Hudson smiled. "I now have another reason to be happy Zane championed your cause with the Board of Directors." She touched Dana on her thigh.   "It's not going to happen, Lane," Dana informed the lawyer while opening her V-8. "I've had a long time to figure out that I'm not attracted to women." Wow, Dana knew that Hudson was bi-sexual and didn't care. That was another big plus for Dana in my book.   "That's what Brigitte Messier thought as well," Hudson winked. "It turns out a little bit of Zane goes a long way to loosening up a girl's morals and expanding their horizons."   "I repeat, it is not going to happen," Dana shook her head. "Zane's a student and I'm a teacher. Perhaps the day he graduates, I'll kidnap him for a long, frustration-relieving weekend. I haven't had sex in eight years and watching him work really stresses my resolve."   "You could always join me in the hot tub," I offered. I wasn't sure how serious I was. I also wasn't sure how bad a concussion Cassandra had given me.   "Zane, do you have any idea of what I would do to you if I focused all my pent up sexual fury onto that body of yours?" Dana threatened. I gulped.   "Does it start with me tying you down?" I suggested sweetly. Hudson was looking really intrigued by this. I was beginning to believe she had this erotic attraction to 'turning' straight girls, most likely mirroring her own Law School experiences.   "What do you think?" she glared. Dana was becoming seriously aroused.   "I guess my only other question is if I can outrun you," I joked. Dana kept staring.   "Zane," Hudson snickered, "do you realize that your swimsuit is basically transparent when wet?"   "No, I didn't," I gulped once more. My package was less than a foot from Dana's lips. "Sorry, I'll be going to bed now," I backed up.   "That's a really nice ass," Dana sighed as I turned away.   "It is even nicer to touch," Hudson commented.   "It's not happening, Lane," Dana grumbled.   "Oh, you will come around," Hudson Lane laughed softly. "I have faith in Zane." Dana growled in rebuttal.   When I rounded the first cut-back leading to my bedroom, I heard and smelled sex, suddenly, sneaking off to Gabrielle Black's place and hiding out for the night sounded like a good idea, barring her killing me, of course. I sorted out the noises as I moved around until the room came into full view.   Reminder number one: Check the God Damn air filters!   Where the fuck do I begin?   On the far side of the bed, Mercy was on her knees, head down on a pillow with her painfully ecstatic face looking toward me. That was how I could tell she had been gagged. Her wrists were handcuffed behind her back, she was moaning and sweating up a storm, and her whole aura emanated with tantric excitement.   In case you might be wondering where her Mistress was: Rio was straddling Mercy's back, ass resting on Mercy's neck (by the tension in her thighs, Rio wasn't pressing down hard thankfully) and facing her playmate's highly vulnerable posterior.   "Hold out a little longer, my slut," Rio egged Mercy on quietly as she paddled those beautiful exposed ass cheeks, apparently in a random fashion.   And now it gets weird(er): Behind Mercy, facing Rio, wielding a strap-on with firm, slow, and steady strokes, was Paige. For the love of the Almighty, should I be quarantined as an immorality contagion? It wasn't like Paige was an angel but she was taking a few giant steps to proficiently wielding an artificial cock into a bound girl's bunghole. The fact that Rio and Paige despised each other continued warping my perception of events.   Barbie Lynn (farthest away in the closest group), Vivian, and Valarie were on the near side of the sheets. They weren't actually having sex but were talking in low voices with the occasional running of a hand through a companion's hair or tracing a finger from hip to thigh. It was sensual without being pornographic. It also appeared to be something they all three were enjoying.   In the middle section of my sleeping platform (it is an awesomely big bed) was Iona and Hope, who were doing a little more than cuddling together in quiet conversation. Hope stroked Iona's head compassionately as Iona gently teased and suckled on Hope's left breast. Every ounce of my experience cried out to me that Iona had initiated the sexual contact. That boggled the mind, right up there with Hope allowing a near stranger such intimate contact.   "Hey, Lover," Barbie Lynn gifted me with a sultry leer, "are you going to take that off or are you going to allow him to bust out on his own?" Bathing suit, cock, raging erection; got it. I yanked off my speedo fast enough to make my skin burn. I wrapped it up in a towel before tossing them in the clothes hamper.   I quickly plotted out my journey, figuring out where I was supposed to end up. I was giving up the illusion that I controlled events because if I was created in God's image and that was the reason God wanted men to rule over women, then I think God was really Goddess and Heaven's soul had it right, change sides.   Valarie gave me a fearless grin as I climbed over her on my way to the middle. She shifted so that her breasts swayed from side to side. I took in the view before kissing her and moving on.   "Try to settle things down by eleven, Zane," Vivian requested. I nodded and then kissed the tip of her nose, which she returned by kissing my forehead. It was very motherly of her, barring the fact that the sheets barely covered her pubic region and every exposed bit of her looked scrumptious.   My last hurdle was Barbie Lynn, and that was an obstacle in more than just the physical sense. She knew how to stretch and yawn just right for making my blood boil with lust and my vision cloud with desire.   "You will come back to me, Zane," she said with brazen tenderness. "Now go on and take care of the others who need you now." Best Blonde Bombshell ever.   As I settled behind Hope who was still facing Iona, I took it slow to let her instincts understand that I wasn't a threat but desirous of her.   "What's going on here?" I inquired delicately. "Hope, I didn't think you liked Iona all that much? And Iona, you have become much more confident in the past month; I like it."   "Zane, Iona is one of the bravest freshmen I've ever met. She's never backed down from a challenge and is smart enough to fight the battles she can win and send others to win the one's she can't," Hope explained. "I have admired her for some time."   "I know you wanted Hope to be put at ease," Iona related. "She's surrounded by people she has minimal familiarity with. I reasoned that I could help her adjust by doing what you do."   "Sexy, clever, lethal girls; this is definitely going on my Santa Wish List," I grinned. I was trying to settle in behind Hope when she wiggled around onto her back and indicated she wanted me to move between her and Iona. I was hardly in the mood to refuse and soon, both ladies were nestled in my arms. I was thinking about the next step when the situation around Mercy increased in energy and volume.   Hope pushed halfway over my chest and Iona turned away from me so they could watch the proceedings. Mercy was shivering like a leaf in a thunderstorm. Rio moved up so that her face was inches away from Paige's. I could see Paige contemplating her next action before she leaned into Rio. They each placed a hand behind the other's head to keep them close as they kissed.   "You smart-ass hooker," Rio snickered. "What flavor is that?" Mercy was cresting toward her orgasm unattended while Rio made small talk with Paige.   "Mango, lip balm and mouth wash," Paige beamed triumphantly. Rio snorted.   "Really start hammering the bitch," Rio ordered/requested. Paige nodded. She slowly drew back until only the tip of the fake phallus remained in Mercy's rectum before savagely slamming it all the way in as hard as she could.   Mercy squealed through her gag and began to violently spasm. Rio dismounted Mercy and flopped beside her partner's head.   "Don't you dare lose it, Cum-Bunny," Rio pressed Mercy. "Disappoint me and you will get nothing until the weekend. I won't let you touch anyone, even yourself. Are we clear?"   Mercy sobbed and nodded while her body teetered on the precipice of total collapse. Paige was displeased with Mercy's resistance and began spanking her thighs and buttocks hard enough to leave imprints. Rio kept stroking Mercy's hair and urging her to hang on. At the pinnacle of the moment I knew Mercy could not go on, Rio spoke softly into her ear.   "You annoying whore," she said, "I am so proud to be with you. Don't ever leave, now cum." Mercy's resulting climax was so powerful that her muscle spasms knocked Paige back on her heels knocking the strap-on mostly out of her ass. Mercy squirted, really squirted, onto Paige's lap, with even more juice shooting and coating Mercy's thighs and my sheets.   Up front, Mercy was cursing up a storm through her gag, grinding the fabric between her teeth with tears streaming out of her clenched eyes. Before her thrashing subsided, Rio had pulled the gag off and was kissing her fiercely on the lips, again and again. Mercy curled into a ball and Rio immediately wrapped her arms and legs around her Sub, keeping her presence light but comforting.   Rio saw our attention being directed their way and mouthed: 'Best Bitch Ever!' using her eyes to exaggerate the force of the words. Paige was still looking over the sticky mess that she had become.   "Put the contraption to soak in the big sink and take a shower," I suggested. Paige could see no flaw in my suggestion so she gave me a wink, unstrapped the device, and made her way out of the room.   When my eyes snapped back from watching a naked Paige exit, I saw that Hope's focus was on me.   "That looked fun," Hope stated clinically. "It is not for me but it definitely looked like they all felt, cleaner in a spiritual sense when they were done. I would never have suspected. In fact, I thought being bound was debasing and weak."   "It is called bondage and it is part of a sexual practice called BDSM, bondage, discipline, sadomasochism," I explained. "It definitely isn't for everyone, and certainly isn't as bizarre as Iona's furry fetish."   "Zane," Hope glared, "I saw a CSI episode on furries and you can't be an Asian or Asian-American high school girl in the United States and not know about cosplay; Iona and I are not into either one of those lifestyles I'm pretty sure."   While Hope was distracting me with her knowledge of other sexual subcultures, Iona snuck a hand beneath me and pinched my right ass cheek.   "Ow," I jumped. "What was that for, Beautiful?" I pleaded to Iona.   "I wanted to?" she responded meekly.   "That sounds like a perfectly good reason to me," I smiled. I would be somewhat offended if it was someone else but Iona was special; like Rio, she would always have my back, but unlike my chaotic fiend, she never abused my trust (or so I thought).   "Do me a favor?" Iona requested.   "Sure, anything for you," I answered right off the bat.   "Make her happy," Iona's eyes sparkled as the flickered to Hope. "Tickle my ear when you finish."   "Sure," I sighed with feigned regret, "if I have to."   "Thank you, Iona," Hope snorted in amusement, "I've got it from here."   "Nite-nite," Iona yawned, then rolled over and pretended to drop off to sleep. Like that was going to happen anytime soon!   "What no-, Hope got out before I rolled on top of her. I used one leg to wedge hers open, then settled between them as I lowered my body down. Hope looked at me quizzically.   "Touch me wherever you like," I instructed. I showed her what I meant by kissing her cheek, then edging around to suck on her earlobe.   Hope led off with her fingertips running along the muscles of my forearms and following a twisted trail up to my shoulders. With equal care, she began rubbing her toes along my calves, up to my knees and lower thighs. This had the added benefit of rotating her hips so that her pubic hair scratched along the veins of the base of my cock.   "You know this is going to make field work with you far more difficult," Hope murmured.   "Now you know what I've been going through for a month," I teased her back. "Now you know how I feel naked under your touch and so do I."   "You touch yourself much?" Hope giggled. Iona did her best to smother her own mirthful reaction.   "Maybe you should come to my bed more often to keep my hands otherwise occupied," I suggested. Hope arched her back, thrusting her breasts into my chest and laughed lyrically.   "Touch ," Hope conceded. "I wondered if I was imposing on your hospitality, wanting to spend tonight with you. Now I'm feeling as if I've been lured in and seduced by your masculine wiles."   "Zane, manipulating somebody!" Valarie gave a comedic gasp. "Well, there is always a first time for our ham-handed Lothario to launch a plot that doesn't involve him getting an extra fish stick for dinner."   "Ham-handed," Barbie Lynn mused. "His fingers are smoking but hardly ham-like," which she emphasized by rubbing her hand over her crotch.   "Do you often stick smoked country ham between your thighs, Barbie-Baby?" Valarie taunted.   "Only when your magic tongue and fingers aren't available," Barbie Lynn volleyed right back.   "Oh, you did not say that!" Valarie choked. She vaulted on top of Barbie Lynn and the two started wrestling. Vivian scooted toward the edge and fended off the combatants from rolling over her.   "When we graduate and drag you back to our dungeon to live, are you going to miss other bed partners having these mid-coital conversations?" Hope smirked.   "You underestimate your ability to focus my attention," I countered. When you are in bed with someone, you are in bed with THAT person, or so I believe. Hope's look sizzled, her body heated up, and she pulled me so close and tight, I couldn't make out any details beyond her eyes.   "I hate them," Hope purred.   "Who?" I worried. You don't want one good friend to hate another good friend. You really don't want a good friend with marksmanship skills out the ass not liking someone you have become attached to.   "Christina and Heaven," she sighed, but I knew she wasn't serious. "Christina because you would rather be with her and Heaven because she has you."   "Hope," I maneuvered so I could stroke her cheek, "I can't promise you or anyone else anything beyond this school year. Neither one of us qualifies as 'normal' by any definition of the word. I certainly like being with you, if that matters, and not just in bed. You are beautiful, intense, and serious in a way we shouldn't be."   "Serious is not the most intimate of descriptions," Hope joked, "but I think I know what you mean. As chaotic as your life is, I think we balance each other out." I didn't need words to agree with that; I let us return to our game of touch, kiss, and lick. We were getting back into a playful tempo when the fight between Valarie and Barbie Lynn ended.   There was no hot, spontaneous lesbian eruption; it devolved into Valarie having Barbie Lynn pinned with her wrists on the pillow held over her head. Valarie was trying to administer a 'Wet Willy' (sticking a finger, or tongue, into your opponent's ear) and finally succeeding.   "I give, I give," squealed Barbie Lynn. "Anything, just stop."   "Anything?" Valarie prodded suggestively. Barbie Lynn's very ample bosom heaved with each deep breath she took, which had the effect of rubbing them in circles against Valarie's dangling breasts.   "Come with me to the Southwest this summer," Valarie demanded. Barbie Lynn was still giving it serious thought when Paige came traipsing back in, drying her hair.   "Where in the Southwest?" Paige inquired. Valarie sat up on Barbie Lynn and looked over her shoulder at the albino lass.   "West of Laredo, East of the Pacific, South of Denver and North of Mexico," Valarie answered. "Sant Fe, Vegas, the Painted Desert, places like that." I didn't see coming what happened next.   "Valarie, would you consider allowing to me come along?" Paige asked politely.   "You really want to impress Zane that much?" Valarie divined Paige's intention.   "That, and he's most likely going with Rio as well," Paige responded, "so you are going to need all the help you can get." Rio didn't respond verbally, Mercy was still recovering, but glared with venom.   "What do you add to our little expedition?" Valarie asked.   "I'll do it," Barbie Lynn interjected. "I wasn't sure what I was going to do after graduation but seeing more of the world will do me good, and I hear it is cold in the desserts at night and I don't want Zane to catch a chill," she adds with a smile.   "I speak Spanish, plus a strong understanding of electronics, botany, and computers," Paige continued with a twinge of annoyance toward Barbie.   "Fine, both are in. We are getting our rides tomorrow afternoon at five," Valarie announced.   "Zane," Hope whispered, "I appreciate the silence of our first date now more than ever."   "We can go back to your place?" I offered.   "Oh, Chastity would love that," Hope snickered playfully. "I'm afraid if you don't ravish her in the next few weeks, she is going to rape Heaven."   "I'll keep that in mind, but right now I want to be where I am, with you," I kissed Hope's nose.   "Can I try something, Zane?" Hope turned serious and introspective.   "Of course," I said.   "Paige, come over here with me," Barbie Lynn suggested. The blonde wiggled over so that Valarie fell to the far side and indicated that Paige should join her.   "You only want to sex up my body," Paige accused Barbie Lynn, as she hopped onto the foot of the bed and put her fists defiantly on her hips.   "But of course I do, Paige-shugah," Barbie Lynn licked her lips, "now get over here and give me a taste."   "Oh. In that case, Paige scampered over and reclined next to the dynamite blonde. Barbie Lynn had a strong, subtly alluring persona while Paige was constantly aggressive.   "A naked Paige Zeller sexual molesting an equally naked Barbie Lynn Masters will go down as yet another thing I never thought I'd see," Hope mused.   "Be careful who you think is molesting who," I cautioned Hope. A few seconds later Paige shook and fluttered. Barbie Lynn had slid a stealthy hand between Paige's thighs.   "Oh, someone's been a bad little kitty," Barbie Lynn cooed, "A bad, soaking wet little kitty." Paige hiccupped, then shuddered again. "Does kitty need to be petted," Barbie asked as she stroked Paige's love box, "or does kitty need to be spanked?" And Barbie Lynn spanked Paige's cunt lightly, making Paige jerk.   "Master, I stand corrected," Hope nodded her head to me in respect of my sexual insight.   "You wanted to do something?" I brought Hope back on track.   "Yes, Zane, yes I did," Hope smiled. "Please lie on your back and close your eyes." It was my turn to nod as I complied with her wishes. She settled her haunches on my crotch and waited a moment.   First was a kiss, followed in slow progression by a finger, nose, earlobe, toe, two fingers coated in her juices, two fingers coated in Paige's juices, a nipple (most likely the right), her other nipple coated in Barbie Lynn's juices, Valarie's tongue (given away by the movement toward me), Hope's tongue, her other big toe, and ending with her lips and tongue. The anticipation of what was coming next was fun. As Hope reclined on top of me, Mercy finally began to stir.   "Were you a good little tramp tonight?" Rio panted hungrily at her partner.   "Yes, I, was I?" Mercy rasped. She was fighting to stay awake, her fatigue a heavy burden to bear.   "The Slut will say 'Yes Mistress; yes I was allowed to be good tonight'," Rio nuzzled Mercy's neck, ear, and jaw.   "Yes, Mistress," Mercy purred. "My wonderfully annoying Mistress allowed me to be good tonight." Rio spanked Mercy's burning hot ass flank hard. Mercy flinched and cried out in pain.   "Did I tell you to adlib, you annoying, frustrating skank," Rio taunted her, "or is my whore clever enough to sneak in an undeserved spanking?"   Mercy buried her face in a pillow but I could swear she was smiling.   "Nipple clamps for you in the morning, and I'm getting those bitches pierced on Saturday, got it?" Rio clarified the point by rolling each nipple between her forefinger and thumb. Mercy nodded but kept her face in the pillow. "Fine, let's get underneath the covers. Snuggle up with me to keep me warm, and you had better suckle my nipples.   Rio took up her normal sleeping area, avoiding the wet spot, with Mercy at her side, her tongue playing with Rio's left nipple.   "Mercy," Rio whispered. Mercy kept tongue-flicking the nipple but looked up.   "You rock," Rio said even softer. Mercy pulled more of her weary body over Rio as the nipple play continued and Rio began stroking her paramour's hair lovingly. In that relationship, it was getting harder to determine who the 'better' half was.   I searched around blindly for some lube, which had 'mystically' migrated under Barbie Lynn's pillow.   "Hope, put some oil on my cock and on your ass cleft," I told my Korean princess. She barely broke her iron mask of indifference before taking the bottle and doing as directed. I caught sight of Valarie, Vivian, and Barbie Lynn all peeking my way.   I imagined it was the curiosity about my apparent decision to 'break' Hope in anally.   "Hope, point my cock up and mount it," I directed. In theme with the game the two of us played, Hope took my commands without question, even to the point where her virginity was in question.   "Push it back," I stopped Hope's decent as it contacted her rather moist slit. She pushed back a little. Being a virgin, she probably wasn't sure where in the cunt, a cock should penetrate. "Farther back," I insisted, then again, "no, still farther." I felt my rod separate her ass cheeks as Hope slid on down. Only when her now soaking mound settled on my pubic bone did she figure out the game.   "Ah, that's cold," Valarie whispered to Vivian and Barbie Lynn.   "No ass sex for Hope tonight," lamented Barbie Lynn. My precious blonde really loved anal sex. I put my hands on Hope's hips to support her.   "Now ride me, Hope," I smiled. "Give me everything you've got."   Hope started out slow, working out a rhythm that pushed my shaft and cockhead as deep along her ass crack as possible. She even stopped for a moment and applied more lube. Soon she was thrusting hard back and up quickly, then allowing a long, leisurely ride back to my crotch. She bounced down on me again and again, her resounding impact on my crotch becoming a wetter, smacking sound.   Hope was powerful, vibrant, and strong; she needed little of the guidance provided by my hands on her hips. I decided to move my right hand to her finely groomed pubic hair, then to her soft pubic flesh itself. I alternated between splitting her lips open and massaging her clit. With my left hand, I coaxed stimulation from her right areola and nipple.   This time, instead of scarring me, Hope wrapped her fingers in her hair. She gave a few desperate convulsions, then her whole body tensed backwards.   "Zane! Oh, fuck!" she screamed. Her ass cheeks tried to squeeze my cock in a steel-tight vise but fortunately, the lube caused it to pop free before those buns of steel could turn my man-meat into ground beef (sometimes I visualize too graphically).   "I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes," Vivian sighed. "A girl comes to a boy

It's the return of Tim Dimond! This KATG longtime fan favorite is back, and he helps Keith break down this crazy world that Keith keeps trying to navigate. From Keith interviewing to manage a local store in Charlotte to the duo trying to stay sane amid openly blatant political racism, Keith and Tim make laughter through the tears as they celebrate Indigenous Peoples' Day.

“Mess around!” es el nuevo trabajo de Lord Rochester. Trío comandado por Russ Wilkins, leyenda viva que viene escribiendo la historia del rock’n’roll en el Medway británico del último medio siglo con bandas como los Pop Rivets, The Milkshakes o The Wildebeests. Su receta sigue intacta; actitud, sentido del humor, rhythm n’ blues, ritmos selváticos, guitarras sucias y, siempre presentes, Bo Diddley y Link Wray.Playlist;(sintonía) LORD ROCHESTER “Give me a break”LORD ROCHESTER “(It’s time to) Mess around”LORD ROCHESTER “Does your oyster have a pearl?”LORD ROCHESTER “Maraschino cherry pie”HOLLY GOLIGHTLY “Secrets we keep”LUDELLA BLACK and THE MASONICS “I want some answers”THE MASONICS “See that my grave is kept clean”Versión y original; BLIND LEMON JEFFERSON “See that my grave is kept clean” (1928)NINE BELOW ZERO “Tore down”LOS RETROVISORES “Miradas”BRIGHTON’64 “2024”THE BLACK LIPS “Sx Sx Sx Men”CONCRETE BOYS “Either way”THE DWARVES “Motherfucker”THE TORMENTOS “Bandera roja”LOS STRAITJACKETS “Virgon”ALBERT GINÉS “La mescalera”Escuchar audio

Long ago and far away, around 1970, there was a smoldering rage that permeated through every strata of American society. Following a flurry of assassinations in the mid sixties, the Manson murders in ‘69, riots in Detroit, the Motor City in '67, and in Chicago at the 1968 Democratic Convention, at Kent State in ‘70 with the murder of four protesting students - it seemed that the whole fabric of society was coming apart due to the country being mired in the Viet Nam war and the never ending specter of racism.  Step up to the mic Gil Scott-Heron and the MC5. In “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised,” Mr. Scott-Heron, in a performance that has earned him the title “The Godfather of Rap” in some quarters - eviscerates those couch potatoes who are watching it all unfold on tv, and that expect things to right themselves between commercial interruptions. And he does it with jazzy flair that made the absurdity of the whole situation crystal clear.. And, then there was the  Motor City 5, those scruffy provocateurs whose manager, John Sinclair was jailed for two joints, who fought the good fight the only way they knew how: by “Kicking out the Jams, Motherfucker!”GIL SCOTT-HERONScott-Heron's combination of spoken word poetry with soul-jazz is a style which has made him influential throughout the decades. So much so that he was inducted as an influence in the Rock and roll Hall of Fame. In “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised” he melds the two strains  - one melodic, one verbal - together to deliver an unassailable message: there will be no change without intentional activism. It's word play may be humorous, but it's deadly serious. Now we have the internet and social media and people are less inclined to believe what they see, or even commit to any action because their attention is being relentlessly consumed. In 1970, despite the horrendous condition of the political scene, Gil Scott-Heron still believed that societal change was possible.MC5The same optimism resounds in Kick out the Jams by the MC5. These were kids who saw the wrong headed direction of their government, and tried, by assuming the outlaw stance of revolutionaries, to influence the youth. However, the enterprise was hobbled from the start by drugs, their association with White Panther Party founder, John Sinclair, - and, the radio censorship by their label of their most famous song because of the introduction's unacceptable word “motherfucker!” They were a great live band of proto-punks, home-town heroes in Detroit, who never achieved the national prominence they deserved. It's not the lyrics of Kick out the jams that are dangerous - it's the exuberant energy of the offending word - that, ironically, created history.

The Motherfucker with the Hat @ Odyssey Theatre Ensemble - 7.4 out of 10! Average Show! August 9 - 31, 2025. www.latheatrebites.com

Comedian Jena Friedman welcomes Sam back from her summer hiatus and talks about what it was like to work together at The Daily Show. Jena talks about how the Ben and Jerry’s Flavor Graveyard taught her about mortality and how she similarly is a “great flavor that people don’t appreciate.” Sam hears about Jena’s new show, Motherfucker, which she’s now working on at Edinburgh (though they can’t quite get the pronunciation down) Fringe and why criticism is her love language, which is why Edinburgh is the best place to workshop material. Sam tells Jena that Jena’s book is Sam’s dad’s coffee table book and then they unpack the Colbert cancellation and the way online insults change as you evolve into an older woman. Keep up with Samantha Bee @realsambee on Instagram and X. And stay up to date with us @LemonadaMedia on X, Facebook, and Instagram. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we're discussing Motherfucker, I Am Both: "Amen" and "Hallelujah"..., the debut album by experimental band Shearling. Let's not beat around the bush here; this album is absolutely insane. While the band is clearly influenced by post rock and noise rock, the result is something out of a nightmare and should approached with the utmost caution. Not only is this one of the most ambitious albums of the year, but also one of the most intense we've ever covered on the show.   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Patreon https://www.patreon.com/everyalbumever   Merch https://pandermonkey.creator-spring.com/   Mike's EP: Pander Monkey on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple,   Mike on Instagram @pandermonkey Alex on Bluesky @octatron3030 Tom on Instagram @tomosmansounds   History Tom's stuff: Music on Spotify, Apple Podcast on Spotify, YouTube Substack Website

Cáel  Defeats The Illuminati: Part 19The Great Hunt.Book 3 in 19 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the ► Podcast at Explicit Novels.‘The Hunt is never an easy thing because in the Wild there are things which hunt the hunters'September 11th: First Day Of The Great HuntCentral ArgentinaFelix was still nursing his hurt hand when I came back from my Ishara-space."Well?" he smirked."Plenty of good news," I smirked right back from the place where I had dropped when Felix had cold-cocked me. "Suffice it to say the weather on the final day will be in our favor ~ no more precise answer than that from the goddess SzélAnya ~ plus our horses will not throw us, or give away our position. That's from the Goddess Epona by the way.""Finally, the Goddess Ishara will be watching over us and our travails... she will send omens to warn us of hunters closing in as well as talk to me in my dreams. Apparently she doesn't want me; us; to shame her in this contest so is taking this competition seriously. Mind you, this means the other goddesses will be taking this contest seriously as well, so we have our work cut out for us again.""What is Ishara the Goddess of again?" the teased me."Oaths, love and medicine," I repeated my answer."Fine," the grinned, "is there any goddess in my corner?""None that bothered talking to me," I snorted. "Want me to knock you out and see what you can see?""Nah... I'm Felix Melena. I work better alone.""You mean in alone in a team of two, right?""Yeah; a team of four actually, Nyilas. Don't forget our mounts," Felix motioned to our two horses.I was ecstatic because they had brought Peppermint down from 'Summer Camp' for this romp through the Pampas. To me she was the perfect mare for this endeavor.Felix had been gifted with a spirited gelding named 'Thunderbolt'; 'Rayo' in Spanish. He was a black haired beast with white sox and a white diamond on his forehead. Felix had wanted a stallion, but the Horse-mistresses of Epona had nixed that choice as highly impractical for a horse-virgin such as himself. I had to agree as stallions had far too much spirit and the likelihood of one making noise when it smelled an unknown mare was far too high... so a gelding it was.Not that an 'unknown' mare was that much of a possibility. See, we had been put down where the other thirty huntresses would also be starting from; a makeshift corral our host Freehold had put together as the entrance to some 'badlands' in which the hunt would be taking place. There ten Amazons; with their own mounts; manned the place, fed the horses and made sure no one cheated out of the starting gate.We had our 24 hours head start on our pursuers, but that didn't turn out to be the huge edge we thought it would be. We were given the first part of our map... which led to the area we would find our second part of our map... and so on until sometime late Saturday night, or Sunday morning, we would find the final part of our map which would direct us to where our extraction point would be.We were to be extracted at Noon; not sunset as we had originally been told; on Sunday. Actually, anytime between ten minutes before to ten minutes after... so fair this was not seeing as we were novice outdoorsmen. Still, those were the rules we were given so off we went early Thursday morning. In the truest Amazon fashion, this was to be a contest which required the utmost skill and endurance to win.Heading out, Felix and I were deciding on what the enemy strategy, or strategies, would be. We figured some would start by simply trailing us seeing as how they were better both at tracking as well as doing so from horseback. The second group would follow a different, but equally difficult 'Treasure Hunt' toward our final point of extraction and wait for us there.I reminded Felix that neither he nor I nor any of the Amazons would be riding our horses to death, or even injury, because that wasn't the Amazon way. Such callous disregard for one's mount wasn't in them and we had to follow that dictum, or suffer irreparable harm to our own 'honor' should we do so and somehow win. Doing so and losing... we decided to not even go there.This also meant we had to take time for our horses to graze and find water for them to drink along the way. After getting that lecture, Felix wondered out loud if it wouldn't be a better idea for us to let our horses loose and 'hoofing' it ourselves seeing as how the Amazons would also have to follow the same horse etiquette. I had to remind him reluctantly how much faster horses could travel. Horses were the way to go.The difference was there was no rapid charging across the landscape with the Sun at our backs as we headed out. No, we took it at a steady trot until we hit our first terrain feature; a steady gradient cut in the side of a canyon which had been created over the millennia by the forces of wind and rain. Down we went. Our horizon sunk down until all we had were the walls of the canyon.Our map directed us to take this route to the first 'treasure horde', whatever that was. By the way we were moving and how the Sun slowly crawled up above us; recall it was almost 'spring' down under; we figure we were making good progress toward our first target... which we located without too much hassle around noon.It was a Bonanza! Not for us, but for the horses. We had four bags of grain for our mounts. We humans received some sort of indescribable jerky (since it was probably not human we decided to eat it... later [it turned out to be the local flightless bird and it tasted like chicken jerk jerky too!]). There was also the second part of our map which led us farther out into the wilderness. Off we went.Third Treasure Trove.By evening we had found our third treasure trove. The second had contained two compasses and two hatchets (Yippee!). The third had contained two sections of twenty-five meter rope and some flint and tinder so we could start a fire. Felix was all for this as it was butt-numbing cold already and we were damn tired from a day full of riding.We compromised by creating a banked fire. We also decided to sleep instead of pushing on. It was pretty dark outside even with the three-quarters Moon above. We definitely didn't want to walk our mounts into something which could bring them up lame this early in the contest. I assured Felix we couldn't abandon them and leading them would be torture. Essentially we would be disqualified.I won the compass toss and got to sleep the first part of the night. Felix woke me around Moon-set and then I kept watch; there were predators about, or so we believed; until sunrise. Then we ate the last of the jerky, fed and watered our mounts then head out once more. This time our hearts began to hammer within their cages and every noise had sinister implications.See, the Amazons are cheating bitches of all cheating bitches and could have started after us at 12:01 last night and pushed on following our trail through the night. Being expert horsewomen and spectacular trackers they could do shit like that. We, their prey, had to be clever in other ways. What those ways were weren't relatively apparent though.Maybe Pamela could show up and, after slapping me upside my head, give me a clue. No Pamela arrived though so we were on our own. Shortly after the Sun crested the canyon walls; we kept to the canyons just in case; we came across the fourth 'trove'... and it was chilling. We received two binoculars and some more jerky (it was to be our lunch). The binoculars were the chilling part because if WE had some then most likely the Amazons behind us had some as well.Also, the way from our fourth treasure to out fifth put us in the horns of a dilemma. We could either cut over the sides of the canyon to where the fifth treasure trove/map was, or keep to the canyon and travel three times the distance. After a quick discussion followed by some 'rock-paper-scissors' (complete with a prayer to Dot Ishara), I won, so up and over the side we went.To reduce the size of our silhouette, we dismounted and led our horses across the... and stumbled across a herd of cattle; Sweet Mother Ishara! We moved through the herd, waved to the accompanying Amazon gaucho, and went on our way. Felix muttered something about my 'dumb' luck. He-he-he-he-he... We talked to the gaucho, turned on the charm and convinced her to not tell any of our pursuers we had come by this way.She was like nineteen years old and I could tell really took a shine to Felix... so he promised to come back and visit her the moment he won the contest. After we departed her and her track-erasing herd of cattle, I pulled him aside."You had better keep that promise to that girl. If you don't, she and her kinfolk will hunt your ass down and tag you like a mule deer in the Yellowstone," I cautioned him."I know. I know," he grinned. "These are some crazy ass bitches. Besides, being the lone male in a freehold of women has its own appeal."I thought we were in safe territory again when Felix finally asked that doom-laden question."Cáel , where have all their dudes gotten off to?"'Oh shit', I mused. How much of the truth could Felix handle?"I'm only telling you this because I like you," I said then took a deep breath. "They sold them to the Nine Clans... they are a bunch of assassins.""Really?" he studied me. Like he was going to catch me in a lie after four years of dating the most dangerous game on this Earth; girlfriends."Really. Where do you think they get those legion of ninja and combat fighters from? Sure their life expectancy isn't what we have, but it is much better than they would have if they stayed home." There was some part of the truth in that."That seems... short-sighted.""What do you think guys like us are for? Now they won't have to kidnap local passer-byers for weeklong orgies.""How come words has never gotten out about this?" Felix was relentless."It has from time to time, but Havenstone makes sure such reports are relegated to the realm of tabloids and UFO aficionados. If that doesn't work, they bribe some people to bury the story. If that doesn't work, they kill some people.""Now that I believe," Felix nodded."That they kill people to keep their secrets?""Absolutely. They look like the kind of girlfriend who wouldn't be happy unless she burns your balls before your eyes after you break up.""How succinct," I nodded back."So, are we ever going to see Khalid, Trent, or Brian again?""Sure... they are only being kept prisoners and milked of their seeds... but I can arrange for you go to go meet them if you really want to," I offered."No thanks," Felix shook his head then grinned. "They washed out while only you and I remain. Let me find them on my own and get some sort of permission from Ms. Love (Katrina) first. I thought Khalid was kind of cool and Trent was the kind of brother I could invite out for a beer, or ten.""Not Brian?""Brian was too invested in himself and his weevil-ing ways. I couldn't trust him at my back, or with my girl. Mind you, I wouldn't trust you with my girl either, but we are otherwise okay.""Smart move. I have exceedingly low impulse control around the ladies plus an over-developed libido.""Yeah," he smiled my way. "I'd trust you in a knife fight, but not with someone I loved. You are way too smooth, Nyilas. Way too smooth.""What brought that revelation on?""Ms. Lee (Brooke). Normally I can mend any fence with any girl I come across, but not with her after she'd been with you. I admire that," he studied me."So, are you and Gene going to be a regular thing?""Yeah. I think so. I still expect me to be getting plenty of tail at Havenstone once I win this thing, but having a less-lethal girl on the outside wouldn't suck either."So much like me... I admired that about the guy."Once we win, don't ya mean?""Sure thing, Nyilas," he chuckled. "I figure it helps me to help you across the finish line. The better standing you end up in the better an ally you make back at work.""That reminds me; Katrina told me they are going to spin this; your participation in this inaugural Great Hunt is that all sins are forgiven; yadda, yadda, yadda. Thus you still walking around Havenstone being the bad boy you are.""Clever lady and always thinking ahead. Is she seeing anybody?""No, and dude, you don't want to go there. She is far too clever by half to fall for any of our reindeer games. She scares me," I cautioned him."All the more reason to pursue her," he snorted."Go for it," I shrugged. Hey, I'd warned the guy."What about that blonde number I saw you with... Elsa was it?"Oh, he knew exactly who Elsa was, but he was acting all nonchalant about his treatment at her hands."Yeah. Elsa. What about her?""Is she in your stable?""Nope. Not really," I shrugged. "Going after her too?""Oh, definitely.""Good luck with that," I sighed. He'd learn the hard way."There is something you are not telling me.""Yeah. She has the hots for me. Wants to own me... and not in a good way.""Oh... is that your way of cautioning me to be wary of her?""Most definitely. Elsa is one scary lady and she already knows who and what we both are.""What are we?" he was eyeballing me again."Hunters on the prowl. Guys who like a challenge. In your case, the guy who only wants the best. I'm more of an omnivore.""You mean you are a man-slut," he snorted."Got me," I chuckled."So, you think she's out of my league?""No. I think she is Katrina's friend and Katrina sees right through both of us. Elsa might not have those interpersonal skills, but she's twice as lethal. Trust me on that; I've fought her.""How tough was she?""Beat me black and blue then choked me out because I wouldn't surrender.""Oh... I'd like to get her on the mats.""Good luck with that then. Become a 'Runner' and there is even more I can tell you about her. Right now it is all simply in-house stuff.""Corporate confidentiality details, eh? Executive Services purview and stuff like that. Man, I was wrong to look down on your branch of service. I apologize.""Why thank you. I honestly never thought I'd get a sincere apology from you.""I can be wrong once in your lifetime," Felix laughed, "and I'm man enough to admit it.""Oh... and thanks for the sim-cards. They helped me get off that deserted atoll.""No problem. That was Katrina's idea though.""Well, you got them to us so surreptitiously the Chinese suspected nothing.""Don't you mean those rogue Albanians?""Yeah... them too," I laughed along with him."I think we can be friends, Nyilas," he grinned."I think so too. I didn't think so originally. On the first day you and the others treated me like the country bumpkin, but now I think you see me as a survivor... just like you.""Precisely. You know I had the option of leaving Havenstone... no matter how this affair turns out.""And you didn't take it? Who offered you this opportunity anyway?""Katrina.""It might have been a ruse," I warned him. "These bitches don't play fair.""I took that into account... but I love the challenge of this place. It is like no other work environment on Earth. Challenges every day, hot women all around, and the chance to risk my life on a monthly basis. Screw regular corporate America. I've found the place where I belong."Felix sounded so enthusiastic. I hoped he understood the fate he was embracing. I also hoped he found a niche in Havenstone which allowed him to live out his life... hopefully a long, long life. Maybe I should warn him about the 'cliffs'? Perhaps once we had won and were safely back in Havenstone's motherly embrace.Hiding.Fortune favored us backtracking from our seventh treasure trove; our dinner and more grain for the horses. A few birds flew up out of the brush ahead of us. I took that as a sign from Ishara."Felix," I hissed. "Hide!"We looked around and found a draw away from the main canyon floor for us to slink into. I used some brush to cover our side tracks then ran back to cover.No sooner had I gotten there than two Amazons came trotting past us. The lead one was Svetlana Inara and she was tracking us from the saddle. The second one was Beatrice Astarte who was scanning the environment as they moved together following our trail up this vein of the canyon. As soon as they were around the next corner of the vein, Felix and I mounted up and raced down the other way.The sand floor covered our hoof-falls and we had to go that way anyway. We had barely covered the distance to the next draw when we spotted two more Amazons following our earlier trail this way. We had Two Amazon parties on our trail and it wasn't even Friday night yet! This group spotted us and gave chase. They must have ridden their horses hard to get this far because we quickly left them in our dust.This allowed us to slow down a bit and deviate over to where the eight 'treasure' was. Our map had us going back down his particular draw which I thought was most unwise, so we went over the lip of the draw dismounted and led our horses at a rapid run; for us humans; across the greater landscape. Thank SzélAnya, a late afternoon rainstorm fell upon us as we dropped down into the next vein of the canyon before the pursuing Amazons crested the draw we had exited.We walked through the rain until the sun set then debated what to do next. We were going to need light to figure out where the eighth treasure was at; they were all somewhat hidden. We had to keep moving no matter what because we doubted the Amazons on our asses were going to let up. We decided when we got close to the eighth treasure horde I would do the searching while Felix stood watch on the entrance to the draw.Using a hatchet I cut off a branch from a bush and set it alight so I could see what I was doing. It took me twenty long minutes to figure out where the treasure was hidden... night-vision goggles and the map to the ninth map piece. Gleefully, I went back down to where Felix was except... no Felix. Oh Shit! I slipped back and put on my night-vision goggles, got a hatchet at the ready and returned, scanning about.I spotted one Amazon... she was Carla Nemain... and I recalled her being teamed with Ella Mielikki. Anyway, I tried to sneak up on Carla and it almost worked. At the last moment the cloud cover cleared and the three-quarters Moon revealed me. She spun on me with twin fighting sticks while I tried to brain her with the flat side of my hatchet.Yours truly took two punishing blows to his ribs while only clipping her with my hatchet. Still, the blow appeared to cause her to stumble so I pressed my advantage. I knocked one of her two sticks out of her hand then missed twice. I thought I heard someone coming up hard behind me. Well... fuck!"What do you have?" Carla grumbled. "Are you trying to kill me?"I kept silent, pulling out my second hatchet and pressing my luck a little further. I disarmed her and then hammered her down with a hatchet to the top of her skull. Down she went. I spun around just in time to see Ella Mielikki coming at me with a lasso. She launched it a second too late and I was able to bat it aside. She drew her honor blade and kept coming though."Ella... I have two hatchets. This is not a fight you can win," I addressed her."You won't kill me," she kept advancing."Of course not. We are sisters, but I can do... this!" and I attacked her with the flat ends of my twin hatchets. I so had her too... or I would have had I had the extra moment to ensure Carla was unconscious.She wasn't. She jumped me from behind then Ella rushed in from the front and I went down in a tangle of arms, legs and torsos. I was doing surprisingly well wrestling them both despite the odds until Ella put her knife against my throat."Give up," she panted. "You have been captured. Admit it!""I surrender," I sighed then relaxed my body. My two hatchets dropped to the ground."Let's bind him up too," Carla grinned. They proceeded to tie my hands behind my back then my legs together. Then then gave each other a celebratory 'high-five'. Then came their pillaging of our loot. They especially loved our night vision goggles and the grain for 'their' horses. They abandoned our horses, put loose nooses around our necks and began riding off down the canyon, their horses feeding on the grain in feedbags... and there was a suitably humbled Felix...To do so they had to untie our legs, but they compensated for that by tying our elbows together behind our backs as well as our hands. It was a rather painful affair. All in all, our captors were quite triumphant. After a while, I decided to speak."So, how did you catch us so fast?" I asked Carla. She had my noose."I prayed to Nemain and then picked a compass point and rode that way. We came across your path and followed you here."So you weren't the group following us from the afternoon?""No... you were being followed?""Yes... by two groups... both of whom tracked us from the beginning," I sighed."Ella," Carla addressed her companion. "We had better get a move on. There are four others on our track.""Damn it," Ella grumbled. "You take both males. I'll double back and start masking our trail. You pick a different compass point and I'll catch up.""Okay. Come here," Carla accepted Felix's noose from Ella. "We are going... north by northwest."Ella doubled back and was soon out of sight. Carl took the next draw she came across and kept up a steady walking pace. As a matter of safety, she didn't wrap our tethers around her saddle horn on the off chance her horse took off. We could be dragged to death of we were attached to the horse. So, we had a momentary advantage... and took it.I spotted Felix counting down with his fingers behind his back. I spotted him at '4'. I rapidly signaled '3', he went to '2' and I finished up with '1' then we lunged backwards trying to pull her off her horse. With my luck, she tumbled down on Felix's side, horse rearing up. I ran for it, quickly pulling my noose along with me. I heard Carla and Felix cursing behind me.It was gut-check time. I could abandon Felix or attempt to double back and help him with only my legs because my hands were behind my back."Fuck it," I cursed silently as I doubled back. In the forefront of my mind was the notion Felix would come back for me if the roles were reversed. In I charged.Felix was standing, trying to use his martial arts kicks to keep her at bay.He was also absorbing the majority of her concentration because; again; she didn't notice me until I was right on top of her. I put a shoulder into her diaphragm, taking her down and knocking her knife out of her hands. Felix didn't waste a moment giving her as snap-kick to the cranium... knocking her out. I picked up the knife and backed up toward my partner.First I had to saw through his elbow bonds and then his bound hands to free him. This all took precious time. I had just freed him when Carla began moaning. Felix looked to me then to the horse."Go," I urged him on. "Go to the next site and then double back for me. You know which way they will be heading and it is you on horseback versus two of us who aren't."He gave me a quick nod of the head then jumped into the saddle... and almost spilled himself over the other side, but then was off like a flash. I ran off in the other direction. Of course with the minimal lighting and my arms tied behind my back I didn't expect to get too far, but what realistic choice did I have. I certainly wasn't going to give up, damn it.[The Politics Of Not Playing Fair]In hindsight, knowing the Amazons were cheating bitches of cheating bitches, I should have tried to cheat more, but I ended up thinking too much about the male version of honor and not enough about winning. Thankfully, others were much more invested in me winning than that. Add to this and I had family I really hadn't counted on seeing things that way.And then there was the Sanctity of the Contract to consider... which I clearly hadn't, though the opportunity to do so was right there all along.As I was fleeing for my life I caught sight of one person running past me to my right and another to my left as a third slammed into me and took me down. For an instance I was thinking 'now they are operating in groups of four!' then the clothing of the three entered my consciousness. They weren't dressed like Amazons. Their camouflage was all wrong unless you were deliberately trying to hide in this environment.The only people I knew who would do something like that without a plethora of modern weapons being evident; thus being the Seven Pillars; were the Ninja![in Japanese] "Hey there, are you looking for me?"[in Japanese] "Yes we are, Ishara-sama," a feminine voice answered. "Where is your companion? We are supposed to make a good faith effort to save them as well.""Wait... who hired you?""Well, it is supposed to be something of a secret so tell no one, but it was your brother," she replied in thickly accented English. With a few flashes of steel in the moonlight and I was a free Amazon once more."Were did the other two go?""Covering your tracks and laying out a few nuisance traps to confuse the two following you.""Your body feels... awfully familiar," I hazarded conversation of another sort."I am Miyako's older sister; and married. Happily so though I have been repeatedly reminded of your... horn-dog status. It is 'horn-dog' correct?""Yeah," I sighed. "That's me. Let's go find Felix before he gets hopelessly lost."By this time the other two had made it back to us, expertly covering my tracks; they were not leaving any; because, you know, they were ninjas. By the looks of things it must have seemed I flew away because I had simply vanished as well. I wish I could have hung around long enough to see the looks of consternation on the pursuing Amazons' faces, but I had real work to take care of."So basically, my Brother, the Great Khan, has hired three ninja to help me win," I whispered as we made our getaway into the moonlit darkness."Oh no," I could have sworn she smiled, "There are seven of us. We each have other tasks to perform, be it carry extra equipment, or scouting ahead to make sure we don't bump into any more of your girlfriends.""They are not my girlfriends... yet... maybe," I shrugged."Don't make me hit you," she whispered back. "I will hit you if you cheat too much on my little sister. She is so impressionable you know.""Oh... boy," I groaned. A protective older sister while I was on a time table. "Is all of your team female?" I asked instead."Yes. When dealing with our allies the Amazons it was considered the diplomatic thing to do. Now we most move like the autumn breeze over the grass, Ishara-sama.""Please, call me Cáel . What's your name?""Not something I can reveal while on a mission. My name in the team is 'First' as I am the team leader.""I could call you Hatsuyuki," I kept going. Hatsuyuki meant 'First Snow'. We were angling in a different direction suggesting to me we had come across Felix's path and were racing to catch him."I will help you out a bit," she chuckled ever so slightly. "Every woman on the team is a sister, or sister-in-law of Miyako, so we have all heard the tales of your exploits and been suitably warned by Grandmother to not fall for your... reindeer games.""Wow... cut off at the knees before even leaving the starting gate," I frowned."Please concentrate on the task at hand Ishara-sama," she whispered then, "Four more ahead of us. I swear they must have some sort of divine assistance as well.""Cheating bitches of all cheating bitches," I quietly cursed. Hatsuyuki put her hand over my mouth despite the low volume of my words.I risked a peek. It was fucking Elsa and Rachel and they were having a pow-wow with Tormé Maeve and Parul Nammu. By the rules of the Great Hunt, no Amazon could subdue, or otherwise hinder any other Amazon; as long as they didn't have a male. Then all bets were off. After a while the two teams flipped a coin and departed in different ways... which were eerily close to our actual track.The moment they were safely away, we took off once more at a steady jog. Mind you, I was in pretty damn good shape... and these little ninja babes were threatening to run me into the ground such was their stamina. The big thing was breath control. We had to be prepared to be utterly still at a moment's notice. Every Amazon around us was as hunter of some sort, be it of big game, or of humans.Even with their precautions we found ourselves being tracked by Daryna Šauška and Yatta Oxóssi within the hour. Exactly what they were tracking wasn't known to me and was a source of consternation to the Ninja. It was impossible to outrun horse-bound foes at our current pace and if we moved faster, the odds of our enchantment failing would drastically increase."Fuck!" I hissed."What?" Hatsuyuki made brief eye contact then scanned around for whatever threat I might have detected."They are tracking the magic of the enchantment," I enlightened her."Are you sure?""Alal; my Grandfather is," I held her eyes this time. "Honestly, I was going through the Rolodex of my mind when this thought occurred to me. I think it was a mystic rite the Egyptians invented millennia ago, but he knows it.""What is the counter?""I don't know," I sighed, "but I do know your movement is leaving a magical trail behind which glows like the failing light of a sunset to the searcher."Hatsuyuki whispered some arcane words which my ears failed to focus on while making several complicated hand gestures. She gave me one head nod then we took off, jogging in another direction though still angling to intercept Felix. I noticed the change immediately. Dry grass crackled beneath our feet and standing grass bent at our passage. I was the worst offender without a doubt.Later when we stopped for a break, 'Three' returned to tell us the followers had initially been confused by the loss of the spell energy betraying us, but then they dismounted and began tracking us on foot; slower yet still a persistent menace."New plan," I decided. "We set an ambush for them.""We can't do that, Cáel ," Hatsuyuki informed me. "We are forbidden to directly confront our foes."My mind barely hesitated in its skullduggery."But if I confront them, could you steal their horses?""Yes," she grinned once more, or so I thought. "Then set up a field of simple traps with a path I can maneuver through so I can lose them once I have their undivided attention. Can you do that?""Yes," and another smile."Let's get on it," I grinned back. I could tell she was warming up to me. After all, I wasn't pressuring her to save me, or violate her Contract. Instead I was thinking on my feet and utilizing what they were best at to avoid my enemies.[in Japanese] "Team, here is what we must do," Hatsuyuki gathered her girls together and laid out what they needed to accomplish.Twenty minutes later, the ambush was set and the two ladies walked right into it. Apparently the idea I would fight back so aggressively hadn't occurred to them. I smashed straight into Daryna first, knocking her down and running past her. Instinctively she jumped up, cursing me even as she gave chase. For an instance Yatta hesitated, considering mounting up and giving chase, or pursuing on foot. Rapidly riding a horse even in this partially moonlit night was risky so she decided to join Daryna on foot as I raced away. She did grab her lasso first though. Seeing as Daryna was following in my footsteps, it was Yatta who stumbled into the first series of traps, spraining her ankle in the process.Hearing that, I took a quick detour, allowing Daryna to catch up if she cut crossways in her pursuit. Predictably she did so and crashed into her own series of traps while I continued to beat feet out of there. As Daryna untangled herself from the 'spider web' trap; really just a tangle of silk strings; she heard the horses neigh and then take off. The ninja had exploded smoke bombs in the horses' faces to accomplish this feat.By the time Daryna stood up, I was long gone in the foot race. She carefully picked her way back to Yatta, helped her up and then worked her way back to find their saddles cut loose and packs set aside... and their horses long gone as well. From what 'Five' related to us later, Daryna elected to take after their lost steeds while Yatta treated her sore ankle. 'Five' didn't hang around to see how long it took Daryna to return with their mounts. The rest of us had successfully slipped away by that time.Reunited.By the time we had reunited with Felix he had already discovered our next Treasure Trove; more grain, a compass and a map of the whole region. Woot! We still only had one mount until an hour past sunrise when our two steeds came trotting into our brief camp. Now we had three horses. We elected to release Carla's mount to find its way back to her mistress... eventually, we hoped."Care to explain the entourage?" Felix joked."Somebody who is somebody loves me," I shrugged. "I can't tell you who though. I've been sworn to secrecy.""Damn... five female ninja. We have got to not waste this opportunity.""I am so onboard with that plan," I grinned, "but it going to be tough. Most of the only speak Japanese and they are all related to a girl I've already knocked up.""So they all know what a stud you are, Cáel ," Felix laughed. "Give it time and they'll be begging for it. I know the type. Fit, but silent with minimal social skills. They want to know all about how you seduced their sister, cousin, what have you.""God, I hope so," I groaned. "All this abstinence is driving me crazy.""Me too," he chuckled. "Me too."Oh, what we had planned was horribly irresponsible. We had the inaugural First Great Hunt to win for all Mankind after all. Still, it took only three elements to be effective; a stream, river, or lake of some kind to bathe in; to convince the ninja we had to take a bath to remove any scent the Amazons who captured us may have sprayed on us; and the ninjas' willingness to believe such an outlandish excuse to get naked. Once they saw us naked nature would take its course.Well, despite our awesome masculine arsenals... we got nowhere. The ninja babes didn't buy our excuses, blew away our pseudoscientific ramblings (pheromones don't work that way, they insisted) and seriously; we didn't really have the time. So while putting our shirts back on and then going for our boots, two more Amazons came our way. We barely had the warning time to seek cover when Elsa and Rachel came riding down the stream, looking each way for any signs of us.Thanks to our horses remaining perfectly still as well, they gradually moved past our hidey-holes and out of our view. The second the ninjas gave us the 'all clear' we hurriedly finished dressing then headed off in a different direction. The last two Amazons I wanted to confront were Elsa and Rachel. I liked Rachel too much and quite frankly was too afraid of Elsa.Once more we risked using some Ninja Magics to aid our passage through a light, early morning rain. This one put off a confusing area of tracks which were both difficult to follow; Amazons were no dummies; and included our chosen pathway to the next treasure trove. Shortly after an overcast noontime Sun, we hunkered down for a few hours and took a short nap.I would have liked to sleep longer, but according to the two ninja who had stood watch, the whole area appeared to be crawling with Amazons out and about, mounted and dismounted and following our misleading trails, but still being close enough around to make traveling above the canyons frankly impossible. Felix and I had a meeting of the minds with Hatsuyuki.Sending two Ninja off on our steeds wouldn't work because at least one group of the opposition had our binoculars and none of the Ninja could pass for us under such scrutiny. In fact, we couldn't come up with a single plan which guaranteed us a chance to move about unseen. So, we came up with a crazy plan instead. I would take off on Peppermint in an elliptical path meant to draw off as many Amazons as possible.It had to be me because a few of the Amazons might not pursue Felix if he tried the same stunt, focusing on capturing Ishara first... so Ishara had to be the one to play decoy. We shook hands, hugged then scouted around for the best opportunity for me to make a bolt for it... then off I went. What the Ninja planned to do wasn't revealed to us though I had a feeling they weren't enamored with my plan.Peppermint and I came out of the closest draw and set off with a meandering gate; we would need all the speed she could muster soon enough. Unthinkingly, I had also stumbled across an added bonus to my plan. Me and my dumb luck. See, all the Amazons anywhere close to me at the start had been pressing their mounts hard for a day and a half now plus hadn't spent any time last night sleeping whereas me and Peppermint were relatively well fed and watered as well as well rested.Still, my initial sense was that I was simply fucked. All across the plain, Amazons noted my presence within a minute and began moving to hem me in. I imagine once I was unmounted and bound, the grand melee to see who would claim me would begin. I counted twelve of the fine ladies and while none were directly ahead of the direction I was heading in, some were far too close for me to hold out much hope.I didn't give up though. I wasn't in me and apparently it wasn't in Peppermint either. She picked up the pace instinctively when I leaned forward and off we went. Incrementally, all thirteen steeds picked up their speeds. I wasn't going to make it... and then it got worse. Coming out of a draw to my front-right was none other than Ella Mielikki.See appeared as surprised to see me as I was to see her, but that didn't last. She whipped out her lasso and spurred her mount to go faster. She was going to cut me off. I had no out in any other direction. All I had was a plain full of grass and thunderclouds in the distance; just too far away to do me any good.'Remember who you were...' came unbidden to my mind.I leaned forward and began whispering in Peppermint's ear in a language I did not know... but three thousand years ago it had been the language of horse peoples like the Scythians who taught it to their noble young... and so had another people long forgotten by history... the Medians. The words spilled out of me until all that was left was the final benediction; words that would bind man and mount together.[Median] "For Aya," I whispered.Remember who you were; wasn't meant for me. It was for the hundreds of Median steeds my Grandfather had ridden into battle... with his comrades-in-arms for over a thousand years two thousand years ago.Ella was whirling the lasso over her head. We were so close I could read the prayer to Mielikki on her lips as she strove to close those last few hoof-falls. The lasso flew through the air...Peppermint took off in a burst of speed utterly unlooked for. Her ghostly white plume rose majestically over her head; Grandfather's symbol... and now mine. The thunder of a hundred such steeds filled my ears with their power as we pulled away from the falling lasso... now less than a foot... too short. She had missed us and with that throw, passed the last chance the Amazons had to catch me.Rachel would later tell me they were all completely aghast at the pace Peppermint set as we rode past Mielikki, easily outdistancing her thus everyone else. We had escaped them and they knew it. They didn't know how and the looks of utter disbelief the Amazons behind me exchanged left them no doubt I had led them a merry chase only to vanish in a whirlwind of dust as I raced all the way into the storm-burst. Gone, gone, gone.Rachel told me she had then turned to Elsa and laughed heartily."I should have given him my honor blade," she chuckled, "because unlike the rest of you, I knew better.""But, what did he do?" Elsa had asked, truly curious and a bit frustrated."Just being Cáel ," Rachel had shaken her head as she replied. "Just being Cáel ."[Sunday]It was a thick, pounding rain as promised. No one could ride in this. Visibility was down to a few yards and the ground had turned into a morass. Only the greyness of the clouds betrayed the coming of day to us while our final treasure trove; a compass, map and coordinates for the rescue; pointed us in the proper direction... us and thirty Amazons.In our favor, the Ninja threw up a marching cordon around us so we didn't walk into any ambushes, and any Amazons not already at least even with us in the distance separating us from our evacuation point had a chance of catching us. Again, no Amazon worthy of their name would ride in weather like this and in a foot race, we men actually finally had the advantage.I wish I knew who was closest so I could plan accordingly. In strictly hand to hand combat, Felix and I had the advantage on over half those we were confronting. While most excelled at being hunters, beating up their prey with hands and knives wasn't normally their second best feature. No, they were fine combatants, just not in Felix's, or my, league.But then there were the Amazons like Tormé Maeve and Elsa Zorja who could kick our asses without a doubt, and planning how to fight them required a completely different game plan."What's on your mind?" Felix leaned in and shouted into my ear."This ain't over. Not only do we have to reach the evacuation site within a twenty minute window, we have to hope a half-dozen Amazons aren't waiting there for us."Felix nodded."Who is going to be the worst team?""Elsa and Rachel. I'm not sure I can beat Rachel and I'm damn sure I can't beat Elsa," I answered."Leave Elsa to me then. While I've never fought her before, she's also never fought me," he reasoned. "My best bet is an all-out offense; holding nothing back and hope I can outmuscle her before she pulls some surprise on me.""That's about right," it was my turn to nod.One of the Ninja came running back to us."There are two Amazons ahead of us going in the same direction. What do you want to do?"I looked to Felix who cracked his knuckles. He was right too. We didn't have enough time left to race around them; not in this mud; so jumping them and putting them down was our best bet.Bleeding.Our fists were bleeding, I had a knife wound on my left thigh, and Felix's nose was most likely broken, but we had put down two pairs of Amazons in the closing hour of the Great Hunt... and we were still free. We had even recorded the coordinates of where we left the four bound Amazons because leaving them all tied up in these conditions didn't seem fair.So far we had put down Niranjana Ereshkigal and Anna Cybele whose strategy was to figure out where the evacuation point was and then set up an ambush close by, and our old buddies, Tormé Maeve and Parul Nammu, who had been racing up to the evacuation point after some piece of divine intervention. They stumbled into us as we were binding up the first two.Thanks to the Ninja we had a moment's warning before they jogged right into us. It was on! Felix immediately challenged Tormé while I circled Parul, each seeking an advantage. Unfortunately, Tormé began cleaning Felix's clock so spun around and we switched partners."I wanted it to be me and you," she snarled."I was hoping to miss you entirely," I replied. She laughed and closed... and then slipped in the mud and slid right into my knee strike. Before she could clean the cobwebs from her head, I had landed three solid fist strikes to her jaw, rendering her incapable of immediate resistance; one tough chick! I quick glance back to Felix showed me he had Parul well in hand, so I quickly bound Tormé up and took her honor blade so she wouldn't be cutting herself free too soon.After we had Parul secured, Felix slapped me on the back and laughed."You bastard, I saw that," he chuckled. "She slipped.""I'll take it," I was unapologetic. Explaining to Felix how she was Katrina's #1 assassin would take too long. I'd leave it to Katrina to warn him how dangerous dating her would be.And then we heard the helicopter... and looked at our watches. It Was 11:48! We raced up the last bit of the slope to see the helicopter finish its descent. We'd made it... and then we saw Elsa and Rachel climbing up the slope beside us, disguised as we were by the downpour."Cáel !" Elsa screamed out my name. Rachel simply charged Felix wordlessly.I drew Tormé's honor blade and faced Elsa down. "Do you honestly think you can defeat me?" Elsa laughed. "Because Cáel , you cannot. You are already beaten, bruised and bleeding. Surrender and I promise to be gentle.""On any other day, I would agree with you, but this is not like any other day," I held my captured small knife out in a fighting stance."Today... today I have my Grandfather's knowledge and my Father's boundless spirit, Elsa. Today; you cannot defeat me. Come at me and find out, if you must." My stance flowed into an alien design... which came from a time when knives were the only close combat weapon anyone was lucky enough to have. My knife raised up over my head yet still pointing at my opponent while my empty left hand pointed at my foe.Then it occurred to me... if I could withstand the pain, I could grab her blade and hold it in place while I slashed down with my own ceremonial weapon. I could regenerate the damage; that was my edge and this was a fighting stance my Grandfather had perfected with that knowledge when all blades were either sharp stones, or smelted copper.I could see Elsa studying me rapid-quick before she made her lunge. It was so On! The first series of slashing strikes saw me barely missing having my hand cut open. I wasn't so lucky my second time around. Elsa sliced my ring finger to the bone."Damnit, Cáel !" Elsa snapped. "If you are going to fight me, at least use the training Pamela gave you. I have no idea what this crazy stance is supposed to show, but I think it is nothing more than your made-up style again. This time I am going to really hurt you if you don't surrender... Right Now!"Yeah, Elsa was upset she had to actually hurt me. I sensed that in her. Still, the pain quickly receded and I continued to stalk her... silently and with great determination on my face. No response was necessary and I was sure my quietude was unsettling her even more. On the next exchange Elsa moved so fast I couldn't track her blade. Still, I moved my empty palm across to stop her most likely angle of attack.I was wrong. By shifting my entire body to stop her slash, I put myself in the wrong positon; closing the distance between us and intercepting her surprise backslash with my left side at the kidney level. Ouch! Motherfucker! I grunted but used my positioning disadvantage as an advantage. As Elsa's hand recoiled from the dire wound she had given me, I reached out with my left hand and grabbed her wrist.My right hand came down attempting to slash her wrist in this exchange. She caught my right wrist in her left hand. Our bodies collided then my forward momentum slammed into her form and we both fell over. She rolled so we ended up crashing down on our sides, but I refused to release my hold while driving my blade ever downward.I didn't have much advantage over Elsa, but I was superior in upper body strength. It was my old buddy except coming out in my favor today. Slowly my blade inched toward its target."How... can... you... still... be... fighting?" Elsa ground out between her teeth."I am Ishara," was my reply. "The power of the goddess runs through me," I added a lie meant to confuse and dishearten her.She tried to break away by rolling around. I wouldn't let her. I tangled my legs up with hers until we were one conjoined mess. Then she surprised me with a head-butt right as the option was just occurring to me. She smashed my nose. There was blood everywhere, but I wouldn't relent on my hold. Instead, I followed up her head-butt with one of my own.Elsa caught mine with the hardest part of her forehead instead. Our skulls collided. I refused to feel the pain so while she was still reeling from that contact I smashed forward once again; this time impacting her temple and really shocking her. I had to have seemed like a monster to Elsa by this point in our bout; I could feel no pain and no infirmary would hold me back.Lacking every other point of leverage, she went for the 'Tried and True'; her knee impacted my precious gonads and for just that instance, my hold on her weakened. She broke free then rolled away."Stay down," she almost screamed at me. I didn't, instead rising up and resuming my archaic stance once more."This is going to hurt you a whole lot more than me," she promised next. Just then we both heard a titanic scream to my left. By the sound of the grunt which followed, I realized Felix had connected with one of his powerful kicks to Rachel's ribs. I used the positional advantage to charge. We collided once more, each one's opposite hand clamping down on the other's knife hand.While standing, we pushed each other back and forth, attempting kicks and foot stomps all the while my knife approached Elsa's collarbone. We were both too on guard for head-butts to pull one off this grapple, but I didn't need it... because we were in fact, grappling and I had a whole martial art devoted to grappling; Brazilian Jujutsu!I dropped Tormé's honor blade and flipped us around so I landed on top of her. Her blade drew a bloody line along my hip, but not enough damage to cause me any consternation. I could see it in her eyes, the moment we landed in the mud. She realized her mistake by allowing me too close, but the last time she had let that happened she had succeeded in stabbing me in the kidney, so she was taken off-guard for just that instance."Yeah," I chortled, "Just recalling my Brazilian Jujutsu aren't ya?""I can beat it," she ground out."You and an MMA Army," I growled back. She was in danger of having me roll her over... then it would be light's out!Right then Rachel and Felix came crashing down on the two of us, breaking my concentration and my hold. The four of us rolled up and separated once more.Rachel moved to Elsa's side while Felix helped me stand."We are running out of time," Felix informed me. We were. That appeared to be Rachel and Elsa's strategy all along. Keep us occupied for the remaining... eighteen minutes... damn was I out of breath and hurting."Switch," Felix tapped me on the forearm. "I got this."He didn't and he knew he didn't. For some god damn unknown reason, Felix was doing a selfless act for the first time in his life and I couldn't comprehend why."She'll destroy you," I pointed out."You're bleeding; badly," he stated, "and failing fast.""Listen to your friend," Rachel interjected herself into the conversation. Worse, she stepped aside and clearly indicated she would let me pass."Rachel!" Elsa snapped."He's earned it. For the past eighty-four days and then some, Cáel has earned; our respect," Rachel reminded us."Okay," I acknowledged the act of kindness. I moved behind Felix so he could screen me from Elsa... then shoved him as hard as I could across the muddy surface toward freedom. The look he sent back my way was priceless. Reluctantly, he looked back once then jogged to the helicopter and the rewards he deserved for surviving against so many for so long; just like me, but without the Goddesses and my troop of ruthless Amazon allies..."Two on one," I joked."No. I've surrendered my trophy," Rachel smile to me was emotionally crushing."Fine," Elsa nodded then, "Let's continue." This time I didn't have a knife.When we collided this time, she didn't hesitate to stab me in the left pectoral; above the heart, but not by much. I failed to catch her wrist and realized I was all out of game. My regeneration couldn't tackle both bleeding wounds and I was beginning to feel woozy.Elsa fell back."Surrender, Cáel ," her own voice had softened."Never surrender," I laughed back then I began to sway.This time as Elsa closed, she went for the grapple as well. I countered as best I could, but my reflexes were slowing down too. I wasn't going to make it then something tackled us both, slamming Elsa into my chest, stunning her."Felix... you came back," I groggily mumbled as Felix hammered Elsa hard, twice in the temple."You would come back for me. I see that now," he confessed. He half pulled, half-dragged me to our waiting chariot. The clock was a 'ticking."Rachel," I looked over to the other combatant. She hadn't started advancing on us like she should have."Go," she waved us away. "Today... today you have won your freedoms. Now go."What honors Rachel had passed over for whatever reasons were unknown to me. I was terrified she had done it out of love for me. Terrified because I felt so unworthy of such devotion and affection.Yet, Felix and I had made it and as the helicopter took off, I could sense the tension leave my body. My wounds were indeed healing and my blood supply, so witlessly spent was returning to me. Felix leaned into me as the nice Epona medic aboard our ride began to administer her traumatic injury training. I winced because it felt appropriate, not because I was allowed to feel any of the passing pain."You are a Runner now," I looked over to Felix. "Welcome aboard.""Sure thing, Ishara.""Ha," I chuckled. "Call me Cáel . You have earned that right.""I imagine there is something to that," he nodded. "Tell me what it is when you get the chance.""I will," I promised. "That and a few thousand other critically important things none one else will bother to teach you. As the saying goes, 'you've earned it'."Thus Ends The First Great HuntNow onto the final chapter of the First Part of Cáel 's journey.By FinalStand for Literotica.

This week, iconic journalist and author E. Jean Carroll stops by to discuss her brand new best-selling book, “Not My Type: One Woman vs. a President” detailing her not one, but two victories in court against Donald Trump, who was found liable for defamation and sexual abuse in jury verdicts. E. Jean shares some very important lessons for living with Busy and Caissie, plus reveals what her plans are for the $88.3 million in damages she has been awarded by the courts when he finally pays up.  SPONSORS: http://HungryRoot.com/BUSY for 40% off your first box of fresh high quality food and ready-to-make recipes delivered to your door PLUS a free item of your choice in every box for life. http://ThriveCausemetics.com/BEST for 20% off your first order of innovative cosmetics, including Busy's fave Liquid Lash Extensions Mascara and Bigger Than Beauty skincare. Plus, your purchase benefits some great causes! http://DrinkLMNT.com/BEST for a free 8 flavor sample pack of LMNT electrolyte drink mix with any order http://Blueland.com/BEST for 15% off your first order of chic, endlessly refillable, environmentally friendly and most important, great working and smelling household cleaning products!

From Episode 92 of Spoken Word with Electronics: https://soundcloud.com/eptc/sets/spoken-word-with-electronics-episode-92 Support the show with a book: http://www.ep.tc/books

How many cars has Leno? How many dirtbikes are mourners I milled over and started over, the sauna I met reaper and signed saints for St Barts More barters. I promise, your honor, I don't want it I promise my box of problems are all mine alone I got no prescription bottles or alcohol I got no son at all, But I'm likely to call home Maybe it's a good thing forgave me a body No programme Would wack off to I weight lift my organs And topple over at the tower A Scott's Monroe. Wash up. Watch, harder Watch harder Hard water I want to know you, But humbly, I won over hearts posthumously Look, even bob barker knows Not to drop the soap How hard you are Hard water Now wash up, cellulite I dog a hard bone A heart throb I got robbed this morning of all of my progress I get lost on a profile? A profile! When all this time I thought it was The eyes And the tie And the lips And the loafers I guess it's the power The tower card, Better stop talking I bet it's the man of the hour by now Oh, I'd better stop stalking her I stopped the progress report When I saw six dogs off leash, And I left all the hardest parts Out of the post office, Your honor! STEFON It's that thing where— The dog is on a leash but walking you, Because you're a covert submissive, like, subconsciously. Stefon knows all the places. I think I rather like him. I think I might run off now. In that direction, before I— JOHNNY! —woah! YOUNG JOHNNY CARSON discovers he has magic powers. How did you do that? Well, I don't know, I—! JOHNNY! What's going on in there?! Run, you'd better run You better not come home for supper Pick you up You better not call home for nothing You had better not look up from the book not once not once, You're a lost cause. Lost cause. I hope. I'd bet it was you if I saw you. Who are I again? That's right. Talk that stuff. You've been along. Long time now, better get you some sunglasses. Better keep warm. You drive a heavy and hard bargain. And that's what's with the storefront. Still no McDonald's! I'd fashioned. You'd bet a thousand bucks there'd be one there by now. But there's nothing there at all. Or here. Or there. Or up. Or down, I— Fuck. What. I lost it. Lost what. …nothing. *heavy gasp* Shut the book! Shut the book right now. BOOBS. Everything over a dollar. What if I want a hamburger! You're drunk, John! That's what if I want the hamburger for! Jesus Christ And what have I if not prayers for alzheimers How do you spell that disease, anyway? D-E-S-I-R-E Right you are, street car; Who are we, anyway, It must have been a mistake on the one way The wrong road The right time The white world The light goggles The in and outs And the radio towers Oh, you thought I meant us?! No, Oppenheimer?! The Void is a big bright l, Stark white, Light and endless orb, If just you'd all for once be quiet I could finally afford To put the lights on! Close the curtain, I was cursed with Carson Pushing carts on hearts And listen, bitch I got you once, You'll die as mine! Do you know me, Or are you simply not divined Strike through! I am! Redact, I would practice rounds on a baseball bat piñata Just never ever to squander or Delight Delight delight I fucking hate the tonight show I promise you this much, I'm that man. Did you really want me dead? I want the electric chair, please. I wobble and just might topple over. Give me the electric chair please. My stomach is sick and filled with acid. I want a trademark Or part in the company; You sure are phony— You sure do seem to own everything. What the fuck are you blabbering about? Drunken idiot. The Designee. You fool. I can't understand a word you're saying. Relay the message. I'll have white sauce on everything. Exacerbate the plot. The Premeditated Murder of Jimmy Fallon What part is this? The part where I… Duck— Run. You had better hide. I am hiding. …no. This is a bad spot. As you can see, I'm full of blind rage But it obviously should be liquor. I'd say you were the most drunken man I'd ever laid eyes on, But then I thought Of my father. Bless your heart, sparrow. I'm a hard one to want. I supply the artform The nothings The bastard. I supply the wages The heroin, The speed And the dancers. I supply the answers, The cantine, the spam— And you wouldn't believe the dimes And the dames, And the diamonds in my life. I can't breathe. Shackled, no belonging, I need you to free me I remind vampires of simply being I design outside and campfires and I, Now that I've bartered my all for the land On which you build houses, Nonpartisan alcoholic, If you ask politely my party Park the Winnebago at the other park; This is a stakeout This is a campfire We don't want the feds in our business Suits and ties, boys Suits and ties Boys and girls and aarvarks But Google wanted Barbra, so Streisand or Walters? Depends which way you're going. I want the electric chair. Cher! No, go boldly into the light, White flower Boldly enough the life White power Boldly into the looking glass You're the last to know And the first to pass out at the party, Why are you so tired! (You're right, she does have a lot of answers.) Addicts and calculators See you later, Elevator Truth or dare And never starbursts, Only now or laters. Jesus Christ. Relax a bit. Can't. Have you ever seen a constipated model? Hm. Why not! They all take relaxatives, Relax a bit. Can't. Why not? I'm immune to cocaine anyway. What speeds you up with enough Can sure consume you or calm you down. Since when! Since forever actually. What a remarkable honor, To have been skipped the immidiate need To fiend on at least this thing; I like more longset poems In hardborn fashion I'm in five lanes of traffic across And upright. Your fame ends here, And look at that No coincidence I don't want it at all I've demolished it, And there is no plot I just fought off the commandments with batons baton rouge I don't think you understand where my marker was This is a set up Through and through I was picked by a photograph To spend the day Arching my back in pain and in chaos In one, And not the opposite direction And also In all roads Which lead Into And out of Nowhere Chatterboxes. You wouldn't dream how my back aches, Aye sire, So you just be hell So this must be hell; She's a polyam, How glamorous, But all I qualify for Is a garbage man In a garbage town Where no one knows how To use a garbage can Fuck these rodents —-but it's the culture! Fuck your culture! Ow, God. What'd you do that for. Beg your pardon? You're drunk. Light a candle. Light as a feather Stings like the spider I'm in your mailbox, I won't look past Coachella. You fool. What the fuck are you blabbering about man! Get him up, he's wasted. Out for the count, The big envy of the hour The power of the west coast silver foxes And in an ounce of wit In the drop of a hat No masked magician All eyes and no mist As promised Your God, The talk of nobody, And nothing wanted Nothing gained I'm sure the old man has had it And how, in full funeral attire Wondering just as well when he will too will die Your last living will and testament The end all be all best friend of every manc Biiiiiiiiiiiiggggg Jimmy! (And his…erhm… Guillermo.) Right Jimmy! Well, this just got uncomfortable. All night I wept with you, Crept in by the cabinet, Waited by the candlelight, the power, Poor falling l— Dear master, Where are now? Red with the end of it Sure as the tide to come, The swell did wander out And back again As steady breath I killed kyself in the end— But yet you all wanted to live so I painted my on big toes, no motion And groaning Not wanting to go there But look, there's an ocean Pick a poloroid, And go get your nose checked! Now! What the fuck are you trying to say, you silly old dog you? I followed you into the fog, that night! The fog that night No amusement park of course I was waiting for the clown Madness And here he was all along — the Tony's mask, but the frowning one The withered end and fretted tips The groaning, aching, mounds od knowing Mirrors and nearer to roads Left to pay the tolls I will owe you One dollar exactly and one cent Then again I'm driving down the one oh one Racing and panicking And knowing I have no breaks Full coastal downhill in a rainstorm Waiting for the ocean to take us all Because I owe her the world in gold And the goal is to give you power And here yet They robbed her all morning What can be done Dear vampire About this, Nothing And nothing. And pain. And after all, I thought it was the eyes. A day wiser and still nothing to game but fame lost and hatred and boy, I just wish I were dead Spoiled rotten. God, I just wish I was home, Golden thrones, lord, And why can't I just have a dog And a boy And a home And a whisper A word And a world of my own Without the howls of war Or the ache of the heart Or the tears of the clown? Why, God? Sitting in my pictures, The history like a loaded gun Waiting to eliminate some sort of retaliation; disastrous archives Medieval remedy, I swear, These are no thumb drives And these are no harrods And this is not my time; If it were, there'd be no motorcycles Olive skin or not, The real power tool of the box The toy of choice the boy of grounds And soiled bushels And planted habit How about the rabbit? He sold you, simply for even a penny. Hogwarts, The argument persists that simply, Ms. Piggy would neither Or ever. Protestments, Procure, this: Producer? Not since wednesday I sorry, I have ten pennies. Mister, your face is a rabbit hole. –And Heavens, I hate you Every day since i was 18 Every day since I was eighteen. Pennies. Lessons in literacy; Listen to me, Listen to me Listen, Never say that shit again, My stomach churchman again And it's almost Chanukkah again In ten minutes Where has the time gone? Where are the misfits?! Do you like this outfit? Miserable miserable Missed ou since intense And get the sense of it The scent of him, And dollar signs Deposits And still dollars more At the dollar store You should holler more! You should call your mom You should comye Playe You could come covered in debt Did you pay attention All of the attention All of the admissions All of the adlibs All of the falcons The heart throbs, All of the robbers The heart snobs The Robin Hood's The wilting flower l. 6!3 powers that be and the I thought the dope would be alright I thought you'd be open to our vibes I thought you'd be willing to let go I thought you were awkward apostle Who else on your scrolls is here No one?' No one! I left you shrouded and gathered I. Rose quarts I read your oracle One no On the twisted gathered winds On the walls of Al our problems On the weathered weeping willow Keeping secret How and arrow Are you nearer Or further from love Are you nearer Or further from fame? Neither, I'm no one. No hard core answers, No gimmicks and no robots You're not offline for nothing You not on guard for no one Here's hopeless Here's broke And here's desperate, the foreigner To begin and to end would be around the corner And where you are now Is just the start of the bottom Are you a cow Or are you a sparrow Well now How there aren't vows Inside or outside Stirring your porridge I wilted every one of their flowers And now you're around Barking Not sparrow or cow But a dog (And the bitch bites) A dog A dog A dog A dog!!! Tell me again how the fog bites And tears into cold, the hog Cutting off edges and corners so rotten So putrid and worthy of disgust that it gets out towels warm It gets it all, doesn't it, It gets it all in the cherries and rain A new stream of consciousness, is scrambled eggs for brains And when it rains I hope you know I'll open all windows and doors. Are yonere or there for the false cause Are you here or there for where it brings good tidings and Grains, of Heath and rye Here I am warm again and in your blood To nobody's honor Where are you going To nobody's horror, here is you standing carts And gods And open meadows Shadows, capsules Drains and blood, warm And blood, warm and salty pools under us And blood, free the sparrow Laugh again but better not dare the cat coughs Comes the coffin, oh lord, Call the coroner The caskets I laugh, as I have not passed yet And now I am Debbie cadaver, Cardboard Now I host shows in the lunchroom with corpses I haven't forgotten them all, But I run Run Run Rudolph and impale myself in the lanes And in the soundscape of fever pitched fever dreams and yet again never mazes I sink to the routine of having nothing left in me but greens And greed! The dog! The dog! The dog! I want to know love again But perhaps I never did But always was And therefore to thine own self be true And therefore, to thine own self know God And therefore, as God is I am But worlds apart are we And here the war has waged On souls and solid dark And walks throught park at night. And television headstones, And coming for us, cream of the crop And it just doesn't stop, land! It just doesn't stop, does it Where where well well warewold and TIME! Time and diamonds and time and clovers And opens and closers And spaces and spaces And distance between us And anchors in host suits Are you the lost cause?! Well sir, this is oblivion, And remember the networks? Remember them and know them by their symbols And remember to amen in reverse and no time is god But man and God is of no time But diamonds And scoundrels And men And mercy Then And mercy Be And heavens sakes And heathesms The dogs And the shame And the clasp And the rhythm The curse of the gods And the curse of the mortals Is stopping to crawl and crowl under or skin For the sake of the fear There you are And in the hour of your demise Marks our return And just remember this, The rhythm and the band The Tim and the Jon's and the stop and the start And the love And the dogs And the dogs And the dogs!! Terror fell upon us And as the sun arose I woke And in the timesc I came grasp And in the times, I came to lay Pennece And penitence And illumination, wisdom, And grimace and scrimmage And cabbage And acts so much longer than 15 minutes Dancers! I am no fool, And danger! Of course, my lark. And sparrow came and laughed and went And sparrow came upstairs and choked And sparrow came to dance with withered wings and saw and came And left the bed unmade And came undone again And and and and and and. And and and and and and and and And. Then remembered what Doesn't matter Then remembered the mannequins , Man! Then remembers the tortured Robin! Robin! The hachetman Came and then went With the cat And the and And the and And the and And the dogs And the cats And Andy Sandberg, if that's his name He came, too. Cause we like him. And we like Jews But now we hate the color blue, Don't we. Control and control And fear and fear And chaos and chaos And monsters and monsters And washed up— Don't forget your helmet Put it on the empire I've not an idle moments Therefore My time don't get wasted Don't get wasted Here's the tusk I am elephant again Elephant and wooly mammoth And if I pass, Then no one can have it What comes after the cabbage? A sandwich? No rabbit, and new jazz Tricks are for kids Tricks are for the more intimate of hearts All things at play, The the raid of the poet And the tripping in shoes much too large for us And and and and Then there were none And Passover is over but Here again comes hanukkah In about ten minutes Remember, mistress, the mystery Remember the misery in stakes And remember your mistakes Don't stop, not even if your heart falls out and open This is no poem There are no words for the mangled divorces Learning lessons Highly revered sperm And the auto mattress There you are again Giving up Hi, my name is Blu And I record everything That's what makes me the guru I guess Or I blew it on blueberries Hey scottie; Have you ever seen anything like it? No, I've never seen anything like it But o, i hope it rubs off on me I was all the colors Then I tipped and folded, Then I ripped the anchor right out of their sockets Then I went and flipped the car over Six, seven times I'd better not drive after I write this unless I survived it Remarkable explosion He's it was Remarkable explosion And were twisted In and out of it Still remarkable Not an idle mind Not a flower Just a follower I'm not mad at all Did you know. Did you fold in two, Or have you given any thought to your Motherfucker! When the wind calls And the feeling kicks in Did the wind blow this evening In any particular direction? I think I flew a kite to your homewardbound horses Did you get to rehearsal on time? Did you just remit your good emotions. Did you remember the other words The just now, And the here and there l. But it didn't come, I think it left with the harrowing expenses Robin stradicam, For the heart of it I'm not talking to no one It's only on Mother's Day But it's okay I'm “anybody in the world”, I guess It's okay to l forget When you've never been there for him It's okay to not remember When you're growing butter and and bitterer I got no Angeles left Get a picture are every angle Give my attention to the mistress The ministry of magic And the randomness of all the subtle acts of kindness l. All the subtle acts of mind When you get invented, Remember the random acts of kindness And when you get back from your dispatch, Remember you can't interact with them They're only your mental images. Just remember the things you've been given, The incidentals of gifts, And that it is still she who is The same and the same And the dogs, and the kitchen Put the light out I'm still a genius, And I'm still in charge and responsible for this entire mess. Suddenly I don't feel welcome here I don't feel welcome here I don't feel welcome here at all {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project ™] The Complex Collective © COPYRIGHT THE FESTIVAL PROJECT ™, INC. 2015-2025 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

Maddix - Ultra Music Festival, Miami, 2025 (Day 1) 01. Maddix - ID 02. Maddix - ID 03. John Summit ft. HAYLA - Where You Are (John Summit & Maddix Edit) 04. Maddix ft. Fēlēs - My Gasoline 05. Maddix - ID 06. Maddix - Heute Nacht (Sped Up) 07. Ida Corr & 2HOT2PLAY - Think About It 08. Maddix & The Rocketman ft. 2 Brothers On The 4th Floor - Never Alone 09. Maddix & Gabry Ponte - Hellfire 10. Boys Noize - Sireneh 11. Maddix - ID 12. Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike & Maddix & Da Hool ft. Kiki Solvej - Meet Her At The Love Parade 13. Maddix & KIRK - ID 14. The Rocketman - Loca 15. Michael Bibi & KinAhau ft. Audio Bullys - Different Side (Maddix & Lilly Palmer Remix) 16. Maddix - Sound Of The Underground 17. The Obsessed & DBF - Colombia 18. Ramiro Lopez & Spartaque - Shak 19. Maddix ft. Leila K - Open Sesame (Abracadabra) 20. Maddix - ID 21. ID - ID 22. ID - ID 23. Maddix & The Rocketman & DJ Weirdo ft. Dr. Phil Omanski - Young Birds 24. Vortek's - Ao Céu 25. Bountyhunter - Woops (Dimitri Vegas & Junkie Kid Remix) 26. Alex Farell - 90's Motherfucker 27. U96 - Club Bizarre

The gang tries some black cherry faygo, and keep talking about A6A6I5 of Homestuck, now with Muse!Calliope and Jasprosesprite^2. Calliope returns to the land of the living. Karkat and Kanaya visit the queen of monsters. The Freudian slips continue. This episode covers pages 7561 - 7671 of Andrew Hussie's Homestuck, which is best read on the Unofficial Homestuck Web Archive.Get in touch!Leave us a message at our tumblr: https://seriousbusinesspod.tumblr.com

From the basics all the way to the most advanced, this episode will teach you the various meanings and uses of the English word “fuck”.Timestamps:0:00 Intro2:15 Fuck (as a verb)4:54 Fuck (as a noun)8:26 Fuck! (exclamation)18:30 Fuck you!24:26 Fuck this!29:45 Fuck (someone) up34:12 Fuck (something) up37:28 Fuck with (someone)42:35 To be fucked50:36 Fucking (intensifier)57:24 Fuck off1:01:07 Fuck around1:05:53 Fuck (someone) over1:09:08 Get fucked1:12:55 Question word + the fuck1:16:58 Adjective + as fuck1:19:10 Fucking (as a filler word)1:22:11 Fuck around and find out (FAFO)1:28:59 I don't fuck with (someone/something)1:31:42 To give a fuck1:33:47 Fuck my life (FML)1:37:49 Fuck if I know1:39:01 Fucking hell1:39:57 Motherfucker1:42:38 OutroIf you love this podcast and want to show some support, click here

Jackie's lonely deep-space post enjoys delicious company.Based on a post by Alizzia. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.Jackie awoke to a twinkling, navy-blue night. She lay still, perceived the idle murmer of gulls and surf, the sweet air, the soft and runny sand against her back. With every little rush of the surf, a liquid touch caressed her. Startlingly chill. Goosebumps prickled her naked form. She pulled a long, resuscitating breath, sat up.She nearly gasped. Out on the surf, submerged to the dimpled saddle of his hips, stood a bare and strapping figure. Head tipped to the moon, he raised and clasped corded hands, stretched. He twisted, hummed as he arched the broad, inverted triangle of his lats. Yawning luxuriantly, he turned, dropped his arms, smiled at Jackie.Jackie's pulse fluttered. She returned the crinkled hazel eyes' smile. The figure blushed a hint, turned a bashful eye to the sea. He approached. Surf split and foamed about his hips, thighs, knees, ankles. All softly corded, olive, and bare.He stopped inches from Jackie's toes, let his gaze drag over her, slow. She blushed in return, twisted a little, pulled and bent her knees to touch. Responding, his eyes flicked to her face, stopped there. Though not a turn of betrayed sentiment showed on his lips, a soft bundle of creases remained at the corners of his eyes, somehow more intense. He lingered on her mouth, nose, eyes, canted his head just a hint. A hoarse, longing sigh rose from his chest.Some melted excitement splashed into Jackie's chest and belly. Returning the gaze in full measure, she straightened her legs, arms, lay back on the sand. She raised a challenging brow.Slow, the figure knelt, touched one knee to the beach, then the other. He straddled just one of Jackie's legs, bent, placed heavy hands beside her head. Jackie could hear the wet sand squish under his weight. He bent ever so close, stopped, just breathed. Not a slip of skin touched between them. Droplets fell from his locks and long nose, fell just inches before rolling down Jackie's cheeks. He smelt of salt and earth.Jackie's lips parted involuntarily, asymmetrically. Never breaking her gaze, she stretched, wriggled just a bit, tilted her groin and chin. She heard the figure's pupils dilate, heard his shuddering breath, sensed his heavy arousal. A small smile of glee split her face. She squirmed in the sand beneath him, like a sea star, free beneath his hanging weight. Then, suddenly deadly serious, she stopped. With dearest care, she shifted just a little, pulled the inside of a smooth thigh to meet his knee. The figure shuddered, shut his eyes. Jackie struck, pushed her lips into his. For a moment, she could taste the warmth, the salt. Then, the world spun.The figure disappeared. The stars went out. The black sky fell away. Jackie awoke to a riveted, titanium ceiling studded with white lights. She flailed momently, gasping wetly. Tubes hung before her face, wet with the spit of her own trachea. Pressure lifted from her wrists, ankles, and abdomen. She began to float from the padded pod where she lay.Jackie's clumsy fingers found rails on either edge of the pod. She held herself within, panted. She swallowed dryly, blinked, surveyed the pod, her white sleep shorts and top, the room about her. After a moment, she groaned in recognition and disappointment. Any arousal she'd experienced had flown with her dream, left her with naught but a sodden crotch in a chilly room."Good morning, Specialist Jaqueline Kent," said a voice, at once sonorous and very dull.Jackie tried to sit up and look over the side of the bed. The inertia of the action strained her fingers. Her hands split from the rail. She floated from the bed, frowned.Across the room was a crop-haired man in red. His cotton jumpsuit strained where it failed to accommodate his chest and back. He had cold, blue eyes and a pointed nose. He held onto a support rail, feet firmly affixed to the vaguely-concave floor in magnet boots."Who the fu..." coughed Jackie, barely audible. She rasped. "The fuck are you?" She inadvertently turned upside down in the microgravity, crossed her arms over her floating tits."My pardon, Specialist Kent. My designation is Sam.""You're..." said Jackie, trying to find a more dignified stance. She failed, ended up sort of weakly kicking off the side wall. She made a face as she clipped the stasis pod, wheeled into Sam. Her face collided with his broad chest. He caught her there. For a moment, Jackie's cheek and nose pressed into him. He was firm, but soft. He smelled of soap and salt."You're a service unit, an organic android?" she said, frowning, as Sam pulled her away from him."Indeed.""Why isn't this place being spun for gravity?" raged Jackie, shuffling from his grasp. Strong fingers released from her upper arms."The habitat is spun for only eight hours of the 24-hour cycle, per regulated health minimums. Generator and battery capacity are prioritized for the lighthouse array, rather than gravity rotors. The next spin commences tonight, in several minutes," said Sam, smiling thinly. "For now, please accept these mag boots.""Fine," said Jackie, cold. She bumped against the wall, struggled to pull a boot on. The other floated away. She made a face, huffed, weak from stasis sleep. "Please, allow me," said Sam. For just a moment, Jackie twisted her face as if to protest, but relented. She moved close, allowed the android to wrap an arm around each of her calves in turn, slip a boot over the foot, and strap it tight. For a moment, she relaxed, felt the long hands wrap near-entirely round her bare ankles. They were firm, but not rough. Sam moved away. "There."Jackie tentatively pushed away, set a foot to the floor, felt it stick. "Thanks," she said, quietly."Allow me to show you around the lighthouse. Afterwards, you may recuperate. It will only take a moment. The station is not large, and I understand by your Company service record that you have served in this role before.""There wasn't an android on my last lighthouse. I do this job because I like the solitude."Sam looked genuinely regretful. "I am sorry. You must understand I was attached to this station by the company. I am their property.""Yeah, yeah," said Jackie, seeing his face. A spike of empathy broke through her grumpiness. "You don't seem like bad company, anyway. What model are you?" she said, as Sam opened the hatch for them to exit."I am a Serault Corporation Ceres-6," he said, stepping through. Jackie followed. The concave floor of the room beyond was double-walled transparent alloy. It acted as a gigantic window out onto the red and purple nebula which the lighthouse was meant to warn of. Along the walls, set so one might look down into the nebula, were leather benches, a few pod chairs, and a bed with microgravity webbing, all somewhat worn. Crimson light played over the white upholstery and sheets.Jackie looked over the living quarters, far nicer than she'd had before. She gaped at the nebula for a moment, watched a streak of magenta light cross Sam's eyes and face. "So, you're one of those white-blooded ones?""My internal serum is a sucrose base. It serves modified roles in all my body fluids. It is indeed an off-white.""Sucrose? A real sweetie, huh?""If indeed it were to be tasted, my serum would taste of sugar." He looked her in the eyes, terribly sincere.Jackie looked away, grinned uncomfortably. "Right. Have any other special features?" she said, sarcastic."As Ceres-6 models are designed for small crew missions, our personality precepts are mutable. We change in reaction or in request to facilitate maximum compatibility.""Ah, well. Good to know." Jackie looked about awkwardly, arms crossed. "I take it this is my room?""Indeed, this is the lighthouse keeper's room," he blinked at her, slow."And where do you sleep?""Though I do not often enter my hibernation cycle, I have a pod in the crew maintenance room we just exited."Jackie suddenly uncrossed her arms, waved one about. "Listen, do you need to stare me straight in the eyeballs all the time? It's freaking me out.""Would you prefer I focus on a different portion of your body?" said Sam. He concernedly looked at her left foot."Like, shit. No. Just let your eyes wander like a normal person, okay?""Understood," said Sam. He glanced at her eyes, then about the room, then down into the floor-window."A little less wildly, maybe.""Yes, Specialist Kent." His eyes flitted over Jackie, focused momently on the nipples poking through her airy sleep top. Jackie crossed her arms, blushed. "And call me Jackie, not Specialist Kent.""Understood, Jackie.""And smile a bit more.""Of course," he said, doing so. Jackie shivered, not from the chill air. The lines which pulled about the android's eyes and nose bridge turned the cold face quite warm. It stayed that way."Well," said Jackie, hesitating. "We're getting on better already," she said, only half as sarcastic as she meant. "Can we continue the tour? I could use a shower.""Of course." He continued to a hatch on the other side of the room. Jackie stepped through as well. They entered a circular room with a ladder in the center. The walls were ringed with computer panels and other hatches."This is the primary communication room. Here, you-""Sam, I know how to use the comms.""My apologies," he said. "This hatch leads to the EVA room. This one to the galley. This one to life support. The ladder leads up to the secondary systems and down to engineering.""I take it life support has the shower?""Indeed.""Great. Anything else?""No. We commence operation tomorrow morning, approximately an hour after the eight-hour spin." He broke off for a moment, canted his head. His eyes trailed over Jackie's bare abdomen, likely by chance. She squirmed, regardless. Sam raised his eyebrows, continued. "The spin, which I believe should commence now."There was a jerk, a hollow whine in the hull of the station, a rush in Jackie's ears. Jackie and Sam slowly settled under the centrifugal forces. Jackie adjusted her shorts, surreptitiously. "I'm going to shower.""There are requisite uniforms and undergarments waiting for you.""Gee, thanks for laying out my underwear.""Of course, Jackie."Jackie shook her head, kicked off the mag boots, stomped to the life support bay. She shut the hatch with a good deal of force. The bathroom was behind a secondary hatch, near the spare air purification tanks and the waterless laundry engine. It was stark, shiny white, floored with nobly grip tiles. There were indeed clothes laid out for her: A red jumpsuit and white boyshorts. Jackie passed them just a glance before dropping her shorts and top. Naked, she passed the small mirror, sneered at her baggy eyes, her body, depilated for stasis sleep.She stepped into the shower. A touch panel reading "Shower Ration: 2 Minutes," met her."Same old station-life," she groaned, punched the Start key.A vertical shower hit from above. Mist quickly filled the room. Jackie moaned for the heat, turned her head and chest to face the stream. Little rivulets poured from her nose, chin, nipples. At these she looked askance, gently surprised. She cupped, rubbed one between thumb and forefinger experimentally, sighed a little. She repeated this with both, sighed a lot. Doing so, suddenly quite determined, she stepped back and leaned back, pressed her rump against the white wall. One hand, the right one, slipped between her hairless legs, which she widened just sufficiently. They wobbled a bit, weak from stasis. She leaned harder against the wall, slipped a middle finger over and through her dripping vulva, split the lips, found it dripping inside, too. The left hand joined, found the clit, elicited a hum, a bitten lip. Several wet seconds later, a groan. Jackie's face tipped upwards. Her thighs twitched. Droplets hit her screwed-up eyelids, her open mouth.The water stopped abruptly. Jackie jerked upright. "Motherfucker," she said, a cry fading into a mumble. She leaned through the steam, slightly pigeontoed, red the touch panel. It said, "Time until next Shower Ration: 18 hours." Jackie rubbed her temples, groaned resignedly. The cold of the station was already seeping into the shower. Quickly, she dried, performed her remaining ablutions, threw on the insulated red jumpsuit over still-aching nipples.Jackie emerged to find Sam in the life-support bay. He was shirtless, jumpsuit rolled at the waste, supine beneath a large conduit emitting steam. Droplets rolled over his long fingers and corded forearms, dripped and slid over an expanse of blond-furred chest. Veins stood out in his neck and arms, swollen from the effort of having just slotted a hefty filter into place. As Jackie approached, he turned."Jackie," he said, emerging carefully from under the conduit. He panted gently, lips parted just a tad. They were pink, creased. Human. "How are we?""I'm fine, thanks," said Jackie, forcibly pulling her eyes to his. She looked for a moment longer, watched a vein pulse on his temple. "If you don't mind me saying, you're damn realistic, aren't you?""I am, on the exterior, functionally and visually indistinguishable from a human man.""Yup," said Jackie, moving to leave."Jackie?"She turned back a moment. "Yes?""Is the station too cold for your comfort?" His eyes brows, cream and near-invisible, were arched in concern.Jackie squinted, raised an eyebrow. "No. It's fine.""Good. And, do make sure to have the appropriate post-stasis ration packs. I have concerns your flight here has left you low on muscle mass."Jackie turned away. "Yeah."She opened the hatch to her quarters, shut it with a huff. One protein pack later, she had stripped off her jumpsuit, dead asleep.Hours later, Jackie woke to a crimson nebulaic glow. She floated, bleary, in the microgravity webbing. The vibrating hum of the spin-rotors had died. Now, there was merely silence. Dully, Jackie moved to turn over under the webbing. As her thighs shifted, she felt a tingling wetness from some dream she couldn't remember. Idly, half asleep, she let a fingertip creep down her belly, trace over the soaked groin of her shorts, begin to prod, massage. She hummed, rubbed her cheek into the netting.Nearby, a hatch creaked open. Jackie jerked awake, hang back her hand, froze."Ready to get to work, Specialist Jackie?"Jackie groaned. "Yup," she said. Sam nodded, smiled, retreated into the comms room. The hatch clacked shut.Only after clambering out of the sleep webbing did Jackie realize her floating tits had been in full view. The Corporation had some odd opinions about bras in space. Jackie shook her head. "Chill, girl. Robot doesn't care."The proceeding five hours were a floating blur. Jackie stood in the comms room, directed ship after ship in non-collision courses around the nebula. The job was a steep and constant series of calls and responses to incoming and waiting craft. Sam assisted."Astroliner 313, after well veer, climb straight ahead five degrees Kepler. Thank you.""Jackie, we have a Corsican military craft requesting expedited access," said Sam."Tell him to follow the greens and stand by for expedite.""EES Pearl River is expressing a complaint.""Send them the docs. They can deal with the Company." She changed channels. "Yes, Arrowtine Sirius, you have permission to take route bravo in five. Thank you.""Jackie, I'm directing Designate 476 to hold. Their cargo requires maximum berth.""Thanks, Sam."Sam smiled thinly at her. He had started doing that more often. His eyes stayed crinkled kindly, when he did. Jackie kept watching him.Abruptly, Sam frowned. "Jackie, we have an error.""What?""New connections are timing out. We have a receiver down from d

In this episode, Keith opens up about the rollercoaster ride of building and running his own landscaping business. You'll hear about why he now schedules all his landscaping quotes for Mondays. It's part of a strategy to bring more sanity into his hectic schedule and ensure that he's not just drowning in work but enjoying life. Keith dives into those early days of hardcore hustle when he was grinding seven days a week to keep things afloat. Whether you're in the landscaping business or any other venture, you probably know the strain it can put on your personal life — missing dinners with family and events with friends. That's where his newfound love for batching tasks comes in. By tackling quotes all in one day, he's improved efficiency and reclaimed some downtime. He also doesn't shy away from the challenges—like managing employees, dealing with unexpected problems, and the nerve-wracking task of raising prices. These are real-talk moments that many small business owners face, and Keith shares his journey with humor and honesty. Whether you're a seasoned entrepreneur or starting, Keith's stories about figuring out how to make better money in less time and dealing with the daily chaos of running a business will resonate. He wraps it all up with a reminder to be grateful, stay committed, and always keep pushing forward. So, grab your headphones, get comfy, and enjoy this episode full of real-life insights and inspiration!     Check out these episode highlights: 00:00 - Adopting Batching for Efficiency and Balance 03:24 - Monday Quote-Only System Success 06:28 - "Struggles in Legalizing Small Businesses" 13:14 - "Seeking Rock Star Employees" 14:55 - Launching New Crew: Monday Rollout Plan 20:55 - Newlywed Arguments and Hurt Feelings 24:41- Prioritize Selfishness for Business Success 28:05 - Weekend Motivation and Mike Andes Recognition    Key Takeaways:  Efficient Batching: Discover how dedicating a single day to client quotes can enhance your time management, allowing for deeper focus and increased productivity throughout the week. Work-Life Balance: Transitioning quotes to a fixed schedule has helped reclaim personal time without sacrificing business success, marking a significant shift towards a healthier work-life balance. Growth through Challenges: Hear stories on navigating the complexities of scaling a business, from handling employee challenges to making tough pricing decisions while maintaining a committed and grateful mindset.   Resources and Websites:  Unstrapped Alliance -  https://www.keithkalfas.com/alliance

Strap in for a journey back to the good old days with this Retro Rewind of the Goin' Deep Show, episode 1010.  Kid's Self-Love Session: In this blast from the past, we start with The Kid's undying love for himself.  Balls or Delusion?: The Kid's ex thought she had some balls - oh, how wrong she was. Decor from Hell: Our studio back then was a sight for sore eyes - or rather, a sight to make your eyes sore.  Wally's Wild Hunt: Wally was out in the woods in this episode, not for deer, but for a different kind of game - the human kind. His outdoor hunting extravaganza was all about bagging the ultimate trophy - ass. Love Games: GDub had this brilliant idea where women would compete for our love. Think of it as the original reality TV show, but instead of roses, they're competing for our dicks.  Football Over Family: Wally was clear as day; no woman should dare talk about family shit during an NFL game. He coined the term "Demilitarized Zone" for the top of the vagina - because that's where the peace should start, and the bitching should end. The Trimming Debate: We went deep on whether women should keep things neat down there or let it all grow out.  Fantasy Orgy Train: We entertained the idea of running a train on a bunch of hotties - back when the thought of such debauchery was still novel and not just another Tuesday night. Kid's Offensive Streak: The Kid was on fire, offending every woman in sight. But hey, in this throwback, he finds redemption in the good book, telling every chick to read up on submission. It's in there, so if you're pissed, you can take it up with the Bible, not us. That's the Retro Rewind for you, a look back at when we were even more unfiltered, if that's possible. If you survived this trip down memory lane, you're one of the true degenerates.  Go Deep, Motherfuckers.

Tod and Claire discuss HP Lovecraft's "A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson," which was published in the November, 1917 issue of the United Amateur under the name "Humphrey Littlewit, Esq." and have a couple different takes on this story. Is it self satire? Probably. Is it actually a story about imposter syndrome? Maybe! Is it perhaps the most cosmically horrifying story of them all, since even if you're 200 years old, your life may well be vanishingly insignificant? I kind of think so! Happy New Year, and hope you have a couple hundred more!Oh, you want more Sam Jackson lines? Go to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMLdPE5OoWI - weirdly, it's mostly variations on "Motherfucker" and no Star Wars or Incredibles zingers, but hey.We talked a little about AHA! around minute 10. Come by if you hack stuff and are in Austin.You can text us now. Why? That's between you and your Elder God. Support the showLike the show? Say so with money! Or just hang out with us on Mastodon, at @podsothoth@defcon.social. Or email us at hideous@podsothoth.club. Best thing? Rate us (positively!) in your favorite podcast app. That helps other people find the show!

9.12.24 Pt 1 - Gareth and the team are back! Producer Ryan joins the show with Leigh-Ass Mol, they jump into life of the Irish, Ariana Grande's health, and filtering water from your toilet to drink. The Real Network

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, MOTHERFUCKERS! This week, we're diving deep into the Tumblr bone witch saga, the epic 2015 tale of internet-age graverobbing that all but exploded the internet.  In late 2015, a witch named Ender Darling posted that they'd found some human bones in a New Orleans graveyard, and offered to mail them to other witches in a Facebook group called the Queer Witch Collective. What followed was bedlam – a debate on the ethics of private safe spaces, on bone thievery in New Orleans, and a story that led all the way to court. Spoiler alert: grave robbing isn't as illegal as you think! Tune in, dear listeners, to the scariest episode of Sixteenth Minute of all time.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Rockers! The Duke of Spook has arrived on the All Bets Are Off podcast with Robby Vegas! Just in time to kick of spooky season! We are digging into his upcoming album, talking some Murderdolls, the Nothin, but a good time documentary, Hair Metal bands, influences, horror, wrestling, and more! Share some laughs with us with a hilarious Poison story, get some tour news, and get to know Mr. Motherfucker right now on all platforms! Subscribe! Review! and ROCK!https://officialwednesday13.com/

On this episode of Vibe Check, Sam, Saeed and Zach dive into the indictment of Sean ‘Diddy' Combs and what it means for the future of hip-hop. Plus, the guys share their Fall intentions and a few recommendations to keep your vibe right. We want to hear from you! Email us at vibecheck@stitcher.com, and keep in touch with us on Instagram @vibecheck_pod. You can now get direct access to the group chat! Find us on Patreon at patreon.com/vibecheck.  Vibe Check listeners can now get a free three month trial to the SiriusXM app by going to siriusxm.com/vibecheck.------------------------------------------------------ Recommendations:SAM: Rejection by Tony TulathimutteSAEED: “Apologies to All the People in Lebanon” by June Jordan ZACH:  Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City  McSweeney's - It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers by Colin Nissan

Sound Bites"I had no idea, right? Because that's all I wanted.""Well, no, but after you date for a while and you figure out that they're cool, like, you know what I mean?""He's a check down machine.""My new passion is watching strangers listen to Rush for the first time""For some reason, seeing these people discovering this band that I've loved all my life and really appreciating them, because that's part of the fun is that they really respect their musicianship and they're surprised""There's nobody he's passionate about""I really don't want to discuss it with him because it's Yuck.""Does everybody else hear that? Weirdness.""Yeah, I'll ask her.""Motherfuckers. Fuck that guy.""She's insane, right? It's not like I'm cheating on her.""How about like s... Bitch.""Pole dancing, Katie watches it and shows me, it is far more athletic than break dancing.""What other fun activities are going to be Olympic sports?""Survival shows maybe drop off Olympic survivalists in a different town and they have to find their way back." ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

This episode gets us back into awesome character stuff and we had a blast (bomb pun intended). Continue reading