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Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 27 Appreciation? In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. Children must face the scrutiny of their parents The Dining Hall was almost a relief. That relief died the moment I saw the banner over the front of the serving area in the Hall. 'Zane Appreciation Day'. Since every word was spelled correctly, it wasn't some stunt of Rio's, but beyond that, the list of suspects was too large to consider. This could be a genuine outpouring of acceptance and sympathy for what I had endured here. If you believe that, I have to ask you: 'Do you want your leprechaun pissing Guinness or Irish Malt?' Most likely, this was going to be some sort of humiliation, and I think I knew the flavor, and I definitely knew how to find out. See, in every seat of the Dining Hall was a big, bowling ball sized white box with a name and secured with a gold and green ribbon, so no cheating; no peeking. That last bit didn't deter me, though. I snuck up on the box marked for Holiday Carpenter. "Zane, does that have your name on it?" Virginia Goodswell asked me, my English teacher and Spiritual Advisor. Hell, if it had been Mrs. Marlowe, I would have opened it anyway, but Virginia was my buddy so her next question didn't mean to stab a stake of regret through my heart. "Where is Vivian?" "I left my room before she was done." I looked to the ground while I kicked some imaginary dust off the slate floor. "Why don't you see if she's been calling you?" she suggested. "She's probably worried." Worried, or homicidal because, ya know, I had sort of run off without my phone, wallet, watch, book bag, or anything else a 21st century student might need. "I ran away like a big, fat chicken," I confessed. "Anything not glued to my body I left behind." "I'll give her a call." She pulled out her phone and hit speed dial #2. I crap since her sick mother is probably #1. I am such a big problem for her, she has my guardian on speed dial! "That is Holiday Carpenter's box, Zane, not yours. Besides, there are strict instructions to not open the boxes until instructed." The panicky response I overheard from Virginia's conversation with Vivian hardly helped my mood. She wanted to know if Virginia knew where I was, she did; that I was okay, I was; and finally, what upset me, because the other girls weren't talking but apparently Mercy had started slapping Barbie Lynn around until Rio and Val pulled her off. Now, that made less than no sense. Wasn't that supposed to work the other way around? Virginia did a double check and sure enough, Mercy had slammed Barbie Lynn into an open wardrobe on my behalf, and Rio and Val had pulled her back. WTF! I am sure that Rio was right beside me on that one. Vivian triple checked that I was physically and mentally okay and she sounded so disappointed, in herself, as she did so. She was bringing my stuff; yes, I am an earthworm. Virginia promised for me that I would remain here until she arrived. Some stupid gesture like a loud public apology, done on bended knee, was blatantly unfair to Vivian, who only meant the best for me. I made a quick apology, not trying to meet her eyes as I said the words and took my stuff. All of 'my' girls seemed equally subdued. A minute after we had garnered our victuals, Vivian put a hand on my elbow. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Zane," Vivian smiled warmly at me. "You take a lot of stress and pressure on yourself. I understand that from time to time you need to take in a tiny bit of private space for yourself. Clearly, you can't schedule any such time because nothing around you stays a secret for very long and no one respects your privacy or even asks what you need." "Vivian," I was puzzled, "you deserve to be righteously pissed with me. You are my Guardian and I promised to stay by you or at least tell you where I was." "Zane, we let you down," Vivian assured me. "It is your dorm room and we are your guests, and we have been rather poor guests at that." "How about we call a truce?" I offer. "I can live with that," Vivian smiled. "Cut the Kumbaya-time, kids," Rio snorted derisively. "Zane, what the fuck happened with Mercy?" Rio playfully punched Mercy's arm to emphasize her uncertainty. "Rio, Bro, drop it," I asked sincerely. "Act like it didn't happen." Rio studied me a second, then got this wickedly evil grin. "What the hell are you talking about, Glenda?" she hefted the box up then shook it. "It seems my damn box is glued shut. Are we celebrating one thousand cunts licked by you, or what?" Because Rio rarely expounded at a level below full volume, next thing we hear is Mrs. Marlow snapping, "Ms. Talon, watch your language; there are good Christian women being forced to sit within the sound of your voice!" "Gotcha, Ms. Mouthful," Rio snapped off with a snap and a finger raised up like a pistol in the air. "What did you say?" Marlowe closed the distance. "She was repeating what I pointed out," I turned and smiled. "I said that you really had it going together this morning; that you were more than a mouthful. That's a hip/trending term to describe someone who is expressing themselves through clothing and make-up." "You are lying, Mr. Braxton," she snarled. "You are probably right, as I do so to you on general principle, but good luck proving it in student court," I grinned right back. We locked wills and she blinked first. "Ms. Phillips," Marlowe turned on Vivian, "what are you going to do about this?" "Zane and Rio, would you please apologize for being rude and insensitive to an educator who only wishes the best for the student body?" Vivian requested. "I so apologize," I bowed my head. "I so apologize as well," Rio tacked on. Only after Marlowe had gone to spread love and sunshine somewhere else did Rio lean across me and whisper to Vivian. "You rock!" Rio giggled gleefully. After all, Rio and I had not apologized to Mrs. Marlowe because neither one of us believed for a minute that she was 'an educator who only wishes the best for the student body'. To that nameless entity, we owed a debt, and to Mrs. Marlow we owed a generous 'fuck you,' and Vivian had made it all possible. "Why, thank you, Rio," Vivian nodded her acceptance of Rio's praise. "Jesus is the Peacemaker and we all should attempt to emulate his teachings." "So, I still don't get to lick you senseless?" Rio snickered. "No, no, you don't," Vivian smiled, even though she didn't look at either of us. Vivian's going to rock as a mom. The next half hour passed quietly. Everyone was curious about the boxes but no one was too worried until a rumor suddenly appeared. When it was suggested that they might have to put on bikinis, the fear set in. I blamed, I don't know but I wish I had thought of it. I was still kicking myself for the missed opportunity when my alien with the right face black and left face white shows up with the right face white and left face black, Mhain and Millicent. "Death Match and you get to referee," Rio teased me. "I'm so jealous; 500 bucks on the one with the soul." Mhain glared hate at us while Millicent looked more than amused. "Zane, come with us," Mhain gloated. I figured that somehow my ordeal was coming to an end so I'd play along. I rose and they steered me to the largest exit, flanking me. Christina and Company grabbed their boxes and jumped up quickly to follow me, though they looked as confused as I was, confirming none of them were the architect of my discomfort. No sooner had we stepped into the cool, sunlit lawn than everyone's phone rang, except mine. I was loving this, right up there with having sandpaper buffing my sunburned abs. "Open the box and follow the instructions," Christina informed me. "Is anyone going to do this?" My phone vibrated once, then my whole body tingled before I could respond to the call. "I am," Mhain gloated. "I was promised something." She knelt and opened her box with enthusiasm; the others did likewise but at a more sedate pace. What came out of each box was almost identical, different only in the anatomical part of the body indicated by the instructions. The objects were all grapefruit-sized fur-balls that made darling little squeaks, squeals and murmurs, amongst other sympathetic noises, all in tiny little voices. They were to be placed on my body, but I didn't know how that would work. "Are we going to do this?" Chastity began to say. "It isn't sticky," Hope was also saying when Mhain's flew out of her hand and hit the side of my left knee. She reached out carefully to retrieve hers while the other girls circled in. The little darlings were proving to be resilient little bastards. Several more leapt at me from the hands of their owners. All this time the furry grapefruit were giving little 'wee!' noises when they shot at me and screeched like demons when they were removed, which was painful when they were on my flesh. I knew who was responsible and she was going to pay, but not right now. I saw my closest allies pulling back. "TLM, Christina," I sighed in resignation. "Let's get this over with." I was being totally self-sacrificial; girls were starting to pile-up on us coming out of the Dining Hall. I didn't want a riot. Mhain had technically tagged me first but not in the designated spot, so I had Christina go first, she put one over my heart, not that I thought Cordelia was stupid, but now she was just piling it on. Mhain went next and she was sizzling and excited, she put it on my lips, shutting me up. At least the girls were polite and organized enough to come at me patiently. A few didn't get the 'memo' and their little rug rats slipped out of their owner's grasp and got to play gleeful kamikaze as they plowed into me. It didn't hurt but I had this secret fear that the tiny terrors would sprout fangs and tear into me. These little guys were murmuring and mumbling and it wasn't until I was truly buried that a horrific realization was made, the more that were on me, the greater their clinging power. In retrospect, this would have been more useful if we hadn't passed the 700 mark. I looked like a puffy, overweight, Sasquatch baby. I could move but sitting down was a dream, as was running or going to the bathroom. The damn things wouldn't shut up either. It fell to Hope and Iona to hurry me (as much as possible) to Assembly; you know that place where I 'sit' in front. At least no one could ask me anything with the expectation of receiving an answer. I no longer wondered how bad it could get; I knew it would get worse, and while I didn't know how, I knew it would be soon. At the start of Assembly my little friends joined in the singing, not using words but in the tinny little noises they made, though admittedly they were enthusiastic and determined. But it gets worse. There was a discussion on stage after that fiasco about removing me. Chancellor Bazz wanted me gone; Vice Chancellor Scarlett was not in attendance but Virginia took up my cause. After all, it wasn't my fault, she claimed. "Well, Black, do something," the first three rows heard Bazz demand of our Head of Security. "I am not an engineer or a chemist," Black replied. "Do you want me to shoot them off him?" Oh, yeah, my girl Bazz wanted that, so bad. Of course, what she really wanted was for Black to miss, but that wasn't going to happen. Finally, the teachers decided to soldier on. When Chancellor Bazz stepped up to begin services, the frightening fur-balls belted out 'Hail to the Chief.' No one said a word, not a murmur. Chancellor Bazz stopped and the munchkin chorus stopped too. Two more starts later and she gave up and grudgingly took the 'praise' from my infestation. They were good throughout the message and sermon but took up 'Hail to the Chief' when she tried to leave the podium. "Do something!" she screamed at Black. This time, Gabrielle sedately headed my way. I didn't want to think of the pain coming my way. My little buddies had my back. When she got within five feet the all screamed, and I mean SCREAMED, in the loudest cacophony most of us present had ever heard. I saw something I thought I would never see; Gabrielle flinched. Not so oddly, I was fine, hearing almost nothing. The little guys on my ears soaked up the sound so I received a very watered-down version of what they were doing. Gabrielle fell back and at the five foot mark, the little guys shut up, mostly. They seemed to be making comforting noises to one another, like one Zane-sized colony of brown mold. "Get away from him; just get away from him," good old Doctor Melrose Bazz pleaded as she moved her hands away from her ears. "Braxton, you stop this right now." I had a wee beastie on my mouth and Bazz was not on the small list of people I would devour this thing for. If she's looking for a conversation today, she's out of luck. She throws her hands up in desperation and starts to storm off. My little cock-sucking furry gonads (yes, I was getting angry) fired up 'Hail to the Chief' yet again, and kept at it until she sat down. Virginia got to thinking it's appropriate to call for the end of this travesty but she's dealing with Cordelia Dresden, Top Gun of the Time Lord Mafia. The weapon of choice; 'She's a Lady' by some guy named Tom Jones, the ladies in my life will inform me about this later. For a half a second she tries to fight her smile but she surrenders, even letting the little guys go through the entire score before talking. The little tinny voices were humming a song I didn't know but damn it, it made me want to take Virginia out to a smoky Jazz club and dance until the sun came up. Virginia actually started tapping her foot to rhythm and I began thinking I might not be able to beat Cordelia. I'm not used to that sensation. "Okay, now, whoever is doing this has put Zane through enough and should remember that we should, as Christians, make students feel safe and not make them subjects of humiliation," Virginia addressed the student body. "I think we can end Assembly fifteen minutes early today for a little bit of Christian charity. We can do it at Zane's first class, 204 Denning Hall." By the way, I apparently have a play list. As Virginia headed back, the fella's changed it up with 'Baby Got Back'. I wanted to die. Virginia Goodswell has a truly fine ass, of this there is no doubt, I often compare it to Barbie Lynn's, but please. Virginia stopped, turned toward me with a dazzling smile and waggled her finger at me, then resumed her way to her seat. How is any of this my fault? I imagine I was lucky it wasn't the Thong Song. I would have died, then come back as the undead to take Cordelia to hell with me. It was with some relief that Vivian and Hope rallied to my side. They had to both keep other students away, the other girls loved poking me in different critters to make them call out in different pitches and tenors, which was pleasant to hear if you liked overdosing on helium. Surprise, surprise; no one came to my succor before English class. I couldn't sit down. Okay, I tried, but any part of my body that bent or that I sat on screamed bloody murder until I got off of it or stopped putting on the press. I've heard about girlfriends like this but I've always assumed I would have the courage to jump out of a 50 story building to escape. What do you do if they come with you when you jump besides basking in the vicarious thrill that comes from crushing half of them beneath you before you go? I managed to do okay standing in the rear of the class, only once giving in to the crushing fatigue of holding my arms somewhat elevated for two hours. The two under my arms were especially cooperative and didn't get too vocal when my arms did slip to my sides. I couldn't do a thing about the occasional girl twisting in her seat but either Raven's glare or Goodswell's cough brought their eyes forward once more. At the end of class, Virginia decided to call Ms. Black and have her take me to the Vice Chancellor's office to end this matter. Vivian and Mercy provided support while Gabrielle kept her distance and cleared a path. Rio helped out by playing my musical miscreants as if they were a drum set while some part of the 700 members of my new posse and I yelled at her to leave us alone. She really is my best friend. My tragically slow pace was not my friend and everyone had to depart for their classes before I finished the arduous travel to the Administration Building. Gabrielle's eyes measuring you for a casket is a remarkable motivator but didn't stop Rio from blowing a kiss to her "Mi Negro Naughtiness". I know, I know; one day, Rio is just going to vanish without a trace. "Ms. Reveal, I need an emergency meeting with the Vice Chancellor," Ms. Black requested of Doctor Scarlett's personal assistant. Ms. Reveal didn't miss Gabrielle keeping her distance from me. She did make the call and I noticed the pictures of Ms. Mittens were still in evidence. "Who are you inside that suit?" Ms. Reveal asked me. I guess she assumed I wasn't a real baby Sasquatch; I was really a baby Sasquatch disguised as a half-baked marshmallow. If three geeks and a man working beneath his means jump out at me with proton-packs, I am running for my life, which is to say 'I'm going to die.' "This is Zane. He is not being rude, he can't speak," Ms. Black was kind enough to cover for me. "Oh, I understand," Ms. Reveal nodded, but in such a way that expressed she didn't understand anything. "You two can go in now," she said several awkward seconds later. "Zane, you move as close to Ms. Reveal's desk as you can while I get the door for you," Gabrielle instructed me. "Come in when I call for you." I'm sure Marisol Reveal was curious as to why Gabrielle was dancing around me, trying to keep her distance. We almost made it; right as she made it to the doorway, Doctor Scarlett opened the door and attempted to see what the delay was. She was actually putting an award on a shelf she had just received, the reason she missed Assembly, if you find that suspicious, and was placing it on a shelf near the door. Gabrielle responded as any slightly unbalanced killer would do; she spun around, pulled out her gun from the unseen Realm of the Gods of War, and pointed it at the stunned Victoria. That took her one half-step too close to me and my little fellas let the world know it. I will give them this much; they were still defending my eardrums. By the way Marisol was holding her ears as her tears flowed down her face it must have been pure agony for her since I was right next to her. Gabrielle scoped up Victoria and sprinted into her office and they obediently shut up. "Za-, Zane, what was that?" Marisol blathered. Since the furry meatball gone bad was still on my lips and I hadn't become that hungry, I kept my silence. "Zane!" Gabrielle called for me. I did my best to shrug but it wasn't like I had a neck anymore so I don't know what she made of my movement. I shuffled to the door and got a few good squeaks as I moved inside. I was more than a little disturbed by the reaction I received from Doctor Scarlett when she saw me from her seat behind her desk. She looked at me and I swear, hand to my heart, she had an orgasm. "You are covered in Tribbles," she gasped. I had no fucking clue what a Tribble is but apparently, I was in the vast minority. I staggered forward and since Gabrielle was on the right side of the room, I angled to the left. I move halfway around Doctor Scarlett's desk so that Gabrielle could go close the door, where she took up post and, from what happened next engaged a Romulan Cloaking Device, whatever the Muggle-tech that is. Victoria was in some sort of dream-like trance. When she started stumbling around the desk toward me, I waited for the musical assault that never came. To my credit, I caught on in a second. If these creatures existed, singing wasn't their normal activity, and Cordelia wanted these little 'Squeaky Meals' to be as real as possible, for Victoria. I was nothing but bait. Victoria reached out to caress the same one Christina had placed over my heart. The little bugger cooed and Victoria clamped her thighs together to contain another orgasm that coursed through her loins. Cool, all I have to do to feel the wonders of Victoria Scarlett is dress myself in furry grapefruit. I'm kicking myself for not seeing this obvious ploy. She touches more and each makes a subtly different purr of pleasure. This goes on and on until she's cuddled up against me, her arms stroking over my back and rubbing her left leg up and down mine. "Vice Chancellor, you do realize Zane Braxton is TRAPPED inside those, contraptions," Gabrielle sounds the slightest bit peeved. The troops all make those little high-pitched notes of longing as Victoria retreats a few steps, bringing Victoria almost to the point where she launches herself back into me to comfort her little friends. I am second fiddle to a discombobulated guinea pig; sometimes a man can feel pretty small. "Okay. How did this happen to you, Zane?" Victoria asked. "He cannot talk; one of those Tribbles is attached to his lips," Black stated, "by an unknown force. Before you ask; I am not an engineer or chemist." Victoria made this adorable little 'o' expression, then reached for an offending Tribble. "It hurts him to remove them," Gabrielle got out just in time. "Does it hurt the Tribble?" Victoria inquired. Gee, thanks, Vic. "Hold your ears," Gabrielle commanded. Well, I couldn't comply, and Victoria had only started to scream 'stop' when Gabrielle materialized a knife and speared 'Diddley-boo' off my shoulder. I heard the little guy's death wail, then his death rattle, as Gabrielle pulled him/her away until she was out of screaming range. Diddley-boo? No, I have no idea what his/her name really was but I'm going to have ICE check his immigration status when all of this is over, wait, I can't do that; Gabrielle wacked the little snot and giving her up to the Feds is a great way to create many widows and orphans. Diddley-boo was still twitching erratically while Victoria was stuck between ecstasy and horror. "You are a Klingon agent!" Victoria gasped as she pointed an accusatory finger at Gabrielle. I am vaguely aware that they are the stock-villains of Star Trek Universe and this odd snapshot of rightly tight, athletic buns in tighter pants, but the reference memory for the scene escapes me. By the facial reaction Gabrielle gives, Victoria just called candy sweet, or jalapenos hot; she appreciates the comparison. All the surviving members of the Tribble tribe wept a cacophony of pain and loss. I would have had more sympathy if their moans had not been vibrating my body like a jello mold. "Romulan," Gabrielle countered; the other stock Trekkie villains, but they have better teeth. First amongst our Honored Dead, DB hardly quivers as Ms. Black dissects it. It bleeds/oozes and appears to be a living organism of some kind, but Gabrielle points to several electronic devices, a CPU, and wires connecting all kinds of things inside the organic body. "It is an organic husk over a sensory/auditory device," Gabrielle tried to explain. "Oh, my God," Victoria's mind worked feverish to defy reality, "they've been turned into Borgs." She tore the one attached to my lips off. I didn't cry like a televangelist publicly begging God for forgiveness for a moment, or 147 moments, of weakness with a rather sad-looking prostitute, but that was coming. You see, Victoria gripped her weeping diminutive fuzzy engine of humiliation tightly when she yanked it off, so she let go of it because the little blighter sounded hurt. It gave off a more muted and mournful 'wee' as it smacked into the corner of my mouth. I was able to dodge a direct hit. "Scarlett," Gabrielle seethed, "if, you, would, listen, for, a, moment; they are painful to be removed from his flesh and they will attempt to reattach themselves to him if they are brought within one foot. I have no idea why." "Zane, are you in much pain?" Doctor Scarlett inquired while scanning my body fungi. "Yes, but I'm sure if you kick me in the nuts, I'll feel better," I mumbled through a joke. "I can't do that," Victoria gasped. "You have Tribbles down there." Yes, I feel special. "That's it," Gabrielle snapped. "I'm going to get help." She spun around and breezed out the door, slamming it in her wake. "Thanks for abandoning me, Gabby," I shouted as loud as I was able. "It's not like Vic's totally lost her mind or anything like that." "I have not lost my mind," Victoria responded with a deceptively calm, soothing tone. She reinforced my calm by locking the door, then locking in the deadbolt, yes, I felt much safer. My merry band of orphan coconuts helped things along the cliffs of sanity by cooing and 'talking' to Victoria as she walked around the office, and she gaily responded to them. "Ms. Reveal, this is going to be a difficult intervention. Inform me when lunch time gets here," Victoria communicated to her assistant, then added, "I need a box of outdoor trash bags; leave them at the door." Having a hot lady like Victoria Scarlett lock the door and asking for almost 3 hours of 'alone' time with me is a mature pipe dream of mine, and that dream really meets a bloody end when she asks for roughly 30 bags with a fifty-gallon capacity each. If she pulls out a hacksaw or a 'cow-stunner,' I'm racing for the window behind the Doc's desk. I'll be gone in 90 seconds, sort of like an inexpensive microwave dinner. Doctor Scarlett returned to her desk, turned her spy-cam around, and started making calls. I honestly maintained a miniscule hope that she might still help me. She was talking curtly to another doctor whose name I didn't recognize. What came out of her mouth next sounded like a combination of eating raw meat all your life and gargling with sand regularly; add to that an inflection of someone wanting to kick elementary kids into the paths of oncoming busses and you had the language she was using. Victoria's stance even changed. She thrust out her chest, put her hands on her hips, and a predatory sneer took up permanent residency on her lips. She even beat on her desk hard during this little exchange before laughing in a way that made kittens piss on themselves before you hung them. "Vice Chancellor, Doctor Victoria Scarlett, umm, what's going on?" I said careful. I'm not so much terrified of Victoria at this point, as I am suspicious of my ability to fight at the moment. "Everything is fine, Zane," Victoria assured me. "In essence, I am bringing in some experts in the field. You can trust me on this; we've been expecting contact like this for years." Huh? "So, ah, that was an Albanian Biologist?" I hoped. "No, that was Vor' Dura, Flight Leader of the Blood Quasar Fleet of the Klingon Empire," Victoria explained sedately, in the same way any SANE individual described a Navy Commander. She turned her computer screen so I could see the person's profile pic. "How does she breathe in that thing?" I wondered. "That's one hell of a corset." "That isn't a corset, Zane, its body armor. My suit was created by the same armorer," she stated. "You have something like that?" I boggled. "Yes, the precise same suit. Vor' Dura is not as blessed by her bloodlines, she's shorter, but otherwise, we are identical; our alliance ended recently and soon she must face me in ritual combat; yield or die." 'Yield or die' isn't what is centermost in my mind. "Don't your boobs ever pop out of that thing?" Because if you have been paying any attention; I am an idiot where sex is even a remote possibility. Victoria can't meet my gaze but turns as red as her namesake. "On a few occasions," she confessed. I'm thinking 'a few'. "Now I have a few more calls to make." Yes, she's lost her ever-loving mind, and I have no reasonable expectation of exit or rescue. I won't be able to get up enough speed to bust out of the window so being on the first floor is meaningless. She has the deadbolt key and when I stack up my Tribbles against her Science Fiction fanaticism, I lose. She turns the monitor around and makes her next call. This one starts with the victory salute, but the one done with two fingers to each side. "Excellent news," Vicky declares. "We have confirmation of the temporal events from Deep Space Nine. I have compelling data that I have encountered genetic derivatives of the dominant herbivorous life forms of Iota Geminorum IV." And everything went to turkey-based insanity after that. Again, they spoke rapidly in a language I knew nothing about. They acted like giddy little schoolgirls, just schoolgirls with their emotions surgically removed. The final call went much same way except that this time, the tone of the language was like the second but with the taint of a sleazy pimp or grifter thinking she was a mob boss. These were the kinds of girls you never let babysit your kids if you ever wanted to see them again. The way Vic looked at me and the fellas made me worry about how long I could last in her brothel and inspired an unexpected sympathy for these pests. "Zane, do you promise to stay here while I, umm, get some, umm outfits?" Victoria requests respectfully. She realizes she's asking me a bizarre favor. Balthazar's Balls, I've been tied to a cross; how much worse can this be? She scoots up to me, kisses me chastely on the lips and waits. "It is a given that my morning class schedule is toast, and I'm no stranger to the entertainment industry so knock yourself out," I allow, but I will have to pee at some time." "Check; I'll stop by the infirmary and get a catheter," she nods, then she kisses me lightly on the lips once more. "Thank you for this, Zane." She's off like a shot but is careful enough to get the deadbolt on the way out. Since I doubt Ms. Reveal can get a fire-axe through the door if the building catches fire, my buddies and I really are going to experience total protonic reversal on a life-ending scale. Only now does it occur to me that these fuzzy navels might have toxic side effects. I'm waiting around for God-knows how long when I hear some muffled noises, more muffled than having a Tribble in my ear. Scratch, scratch, "Girl, you get away from that door," Ms. Reveal shouted (I guess). "Quick, Mercy, hold her back," Rio shouted in response. "This deadbolt is a bitch." A scuffle ensued and I tried to shout loud enough to call Rio off when I heard two rapid-fire thumps. "Thank you, Ms. Black," Marisol Reveal huffed. Mercy had put up quite a fight, I guessed. "I will formally press charges when the Vice Chancellor returns." "You will go and sit your ass behind your desk, you incompetent buffoon," Black snapped. "I will deal with this and if you bother me again today, or mention this incident to Scarlett, I swear you will never see your cat again; and if you don't hop-to in the next six seconds, I'll make an audio recording of me strangling that shit-dumper and play it by your bedroom window every night until you go mad. Do I make myself clear?" "Ugh," is all I make out, but I hear Marisol's chair squeak soon after. The sound of a body, or bodies, being drug off faded away as Black left the office and headed down the hall. Hell, I warned Marisol. I can't do anything for Rio right now and I don't have too long to ruminate. "Marisol, are you okay?" I hear Victoria ask her assistant. It is a testament to their bond that even the hysterical Doctor doesn't miss her friend's distress. "Sorry, Victoria, I'm a bit, umm, heart-sick is all," Marisol murmurs. "Don't you worry about it." "Well, when you want to talk about it, let me know," Victoria stated. Marisol must have nodded because no words were spoken and Victoria came in with two carry-on bags and three dress bags while kicking the trash bag box ahead of her. Happy fun time was about to begin. "Sorry for the wait, Zane," Victoria told me. "Doctor," I made a desperate Hail Mary plea for reason, "you are a highly respected educator. We really need to take a step back and re-examine what's going on here." "Zane, this is my first teaching job ever," she related as she checked on the progress of her 'Trekkie' Posse. "My doctorate is in Philosophy; my Master's Degrees are in Comparative Religions and Women's Studies," she informed me. "All my graduate work was done as a researcher. I've never had a student." I blink dumbly at her; and here I thought my opinion of the Board of Directors couldn't get worse. Victoria goes over the language dance with her friends, switching fluidly from tongue to tongue in a manner that impresses and even fascinates me; and I've been to Bangkok where if you are trying to buy and/or sell anything and don't speak at least ten different languages or dialects, you might as well hand them your wallet or purse and go home. "Who do we need?" Vic said in English (just making sure everyone knows that the Tribbles aren't suddenly translating for me). "Kar'Thon," Vor' Dura states eagerly; "This matter is a racial imperative." "Are you sure the young man is old enough?" The second woman inquired. "Jarrod went all obsessive last time a boy crossed our path. We almost sent the kid to college." "That's what you get for marrying a Ferengi," Dura snidely remarked, and the rest laughed along with it; meanwhile, I'm going 'a what?' Some infighting goes on until Victoria and 'I married a Ferengi' call for peace, then babble a little more. Then the name 'Zane Braxton' comes up and I'm not sure I'm happy or sad that only one of them replies in what was clearly elation and surprise, the sleazy one knows of me. "Zane, I need to surgically remove some of the alien organisms," Victoria tells me. "It is going to sting like hell," I mutter, to which Vor' Dura says something and sleazy girl laughs. I do not like where this is going at all. On the bright side, Victoria doesn't rip one off of me right away; she goes over to one of the dress bags and opens it up. She's pulling out bondage gear, oops, my bad; she's getting ready to put on Klingon body armor. I have lost all preconceptions of what I was dealing with once Scarlett began stripping in front of me. She even gave me an appreciative smile and I was the one who was doing the appreciating! The little fuckers started going off. Remember, they don't like being moved and I was moving some around at the moment. No, my legs and arms were perfectly still but my crotch was striking up a chorus, its Handel's Messiah. There was this 'still' moment where Victoria stopped opening her blouse and the three strangers regarding me through the webcam became mute; then the laughter began. Victoria resumed her stripping but she couldn't stop smiling and snickering slightly. The three, the Klingon uber-cook or whatever she was and her two unknown accomplices, were laughing so hard they could barely communicate. It got better; when I was fully aroused and stopped moving around my pants, they didn't shut up and I was suddenly, desperately searching my mind to know how long that song was. This was because Vic got down to her, Oh, fuck, this white thong, and calling it white is generous as it looks like someone stole an under-achieving spider's web and gently placed it over her crotch, and I know my hard-on was not going anywhere but into something before it went away. Victoria was working her make-up on when two of the voices got themselves together enough to ask something. Vic looked up at the web-cam, over to me, then said a few sentences. "So, which one of you likes your ankles placed behind your ears?" I politely asked in Thai. "What was that, Brax' Zane?" Victoria asked. "I'm curious if I can take your virginity with my tongue?" I continued in Thai. "I cannot understand you," Victoria said again. "What are, ah, " "I think we should engage the Federation citizen in the Galactic Basic," the second voice requested of the room. The third voice, the sleaze, said one more then in her native tongue, then the second voice, and Victoria jumped on her. "I said, 'I think the native is getting restless'," sleazy girl grudgingly repeated. "Now, I think we should see if our plan 1.0 can be implemented." "Before the scourges make themselves hoarse shrilling out the hellish noise or I lose patience, transport over there, and kill them myself," Dura growled playfully. I'm glad someone else was having fun. Victoria walked up and took a deep breath, which caused her well-disciplined, thirty-ish breasts to bounce tantalizingly close. Her look was desperately fearful yet almost childlike too. "Kar'Thon, I desperately require your assistance before these creatures drive me mad," I tried to sound masculine yet pleading. On the computer screen, Dura quickly slammed her right fist to her right shoulder; I was later to learn that was a salute. "This is no way for a Starfleet cadet to die," Victoria beamed at me, "even if I know I must someday slaughter you in battle." Whoa, I've never considered NASA as a career choice. Maybe Klingon bondage gear/standard uniform could change my mind. The first person to tell me university life is boring I will punt to the Moon. "I am T'Luminareth of the Vulcan Science Academy and Reserve member of the Starfleet Exploration Corps here," the second voice spoke up. I caught sight of a picture of her with this, troll? Or maybe a dwarf with the worst case of cauliflower ear ever. "I would like to assure you that every logical effort is being put forth on your behalf." "Is that right, Tight Luminescence? Is it going to kill you to show a fellow sentient an ounce of compassion when you know he is about to suffer a fatal toxic shock from prolonged exposure to these vermin?" the third girl snarkily interjected into the conversation. "I'm Hical Cretak, Romulan freebooter and purveyor of ancient, exotic, and misunderstood goods." "You are a thief, and since you aren't in some asteroid prison, you must be an above average one," I said to the Romulan. "I confess that I am a bit happier to see a member of the Vulcan Science Academy since, well, I'm suffering a splintered memory. Some things make perfect sense but large details are simply missing." I figured I could provide Victoria some good game. She began rubbing my crotch and there was an effect alright, two in fact. The simple and expectant one was my trouser titan trying to unchain itself so it could get revenge on all of Victoria's orifices for taunting him so. My torturous tiny titmice began belting 'Let's get it on' by Marvin Gaye. I think as an infant, I had a mobile playing this song in my crib. I started to really admire T'Luminareth's acting ability because she alone kept it together. Victoria made larger and larger circles over my crotch up to my beltline while Dura and Hical lost it hysterically. "Pssst," I murmured to Victoria. She looked at me and I darted my eyes toward her makeup kit and clothes. I am getting more clothes on her, why? Besides, I'd gotten a better look at her suit and it didn't have a butt-zipper that said 'Come Get Some,' but those pants rolled down like a candy wrapper and that 'body armor' has a back flap. I'd have to get Rio a set and I doubted Victoria would deny me her armorer's number. I was definitely looking into getting Mercy a matching Orion Slave Girl outfit, and here people don't think I make constructive use of my time. I was sure Victoria/Kar'Thon was breaking speed records to get herself ready while the other ladies began talking to me about a whole universe that was brand new to me. Getting three different and very conflicting versions of the rise of the Human-dominated Federation of Planets was amusing. Out of the blue, T'Luminareth decided she was going to create a team to rapidly move to my planet and take me back for further study. Vor' Dora countered that and Hical gleefully sought out salvage rights for the wreckage of the two expeditions. "That might not be possible," I intervened. "Some of what you've told me has fused some memories together." They all fell silent. "At Starfleet Academy, an Engineering Team and a select group of cadets," I continued to fantasize, "were directed to work on a, phased ionic drive." Ion drive was 'old' tech, or so Hical had let slip. "The drive failed catastrophically and we couldn't save the impulse drive, power was failing, we couldn't transport. The phased ionic drive detonated in the planet's atmosphere, creating a trans-harmonic disruption. I don't know if there were other survivors of our vessel. I saw another vessel either investigating our explosion or attempting a rescue but they burned up on their approach," I looked pained. "I don't think I could communicate with them and the only survivor I could locate was Kar'Thon." "Only a combination of our two vessels' technology has been able to punch a hole through the disruption and I'm not sure how long this effect will last." I now sounded grim but determined. "We probably need three things: We need to know if there were any special modifications to the Klingon Scout vessel because I don't think it was a standard model to get so close to an experimental Federation vessel." "Secondly, someone needs to pry out of Starfleet the precise specifications of that vessel, and that's definitely not me," I confessed. "Finally, we need to find a way to fuse those two designs together because if Tribbles are already being affected by an increased magnetic field, how much longer do we have before even the planet's magnetic field collapses totally and we fry (a SciFi movie plot, thank you)." Once more, there was silence and I was afraid I'd stepped way beyond my bounds. Only when I took in the masked facial expressions of Kar'Thon did I realize I'd done well. I was hit with the realization I was a word and a whisper away from having sex with her, she was so pleased with me. "I have friends at Starfleet Academy and they might be able to shed a light on what their cadets were up to," T'Luminareth stated serenely, but I could see a fire in her eyes. "I will research into every work published on Phased Ionic Drives, and we may be forced to work on a theory of what went wrong in case Starfleet is not forthcoming." "Not that I admit that the Klingon Empire ever had any such vessel operating in the area, Vor' Dura got out before Hical Cretak interrupted. "You have an officer on the damn planet, you cowardly idiot," mocked Hical. "I am a deserter," Kar'Thon declared. "I would say I was a 'scum of the Orion Colonies' but I found that you already claimed that title," she aimed at Hical. "You must die, you traitorous dog," Dura jumped on the offered plum. Thon/Victoria wasn't a deserter but she was ready to take one for the team, so to speak. "The Klingon Empire cannot allow your stain on our honor to exist. Now that we finally have you pinned down, we are coming to end you once and for all, and if the Federation insists on harboring a traitor (we were theoretically in Federation space) then, "I owe you a death, Vor' Dura," Thon seethed; "your death." "You may not enter Federation space," T'Luminareth insisted. "Before you two go to war, again, why don't you let me go in," Hical mediated. "I'm a free trader and have been to both Federation and Klingon planets." "You are a spy," Vor' Dura growled. "Being a successful agent doesn't make you any less of spy for your Romulan Senate," T'Luminareth seemed almost furious. "Unfounded rumors started by my, Hical almost finished before the Tribbles screamed. Not as loud as they had for Ms. Black, but they now didn't like Thon around either, now that Victoria was a Klingon. Cordelia scares me; this time Hical had the little 'hiccup'. "This is going to be fun," she chuckled, barely above a whisper. "I will get these vermin no matter how much they hurt the frail human," Kar'Thon snarled, but Victoria's eyes blazed with fanatic amusement. I was mildly curious if she could even respond to her true name but decided not to test that. She pulled out a rather wicked looking knife that I had to double-take to make sure it was plastic. The conversation went on around us as fictitious bits of data collided with innuendo, falsehoods, threats, and lies. This was roleplaying by some actors who took it as
Allie dismantles “feminist” smears on X over her Turning Point LSU speech, boldly affirming women's biblical roles: prioritizing home, submitting in marriage, serving in church, and speaking truth publicly. Scripture, not culture, defines womanhood. She also lifts up Angel City FC's Elizabeth Eddy in her fight for women's sports and keeping trans ideology off the soccer field. Join us to reject judgment, embrace God's design, and live with fearless faith in every sphere. Buy Allie's book "Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion": https://www.toxicempathy.com/ --- Timecodes: (00:00) Intro (03:10) Turning Point USA Speech (13:15) Most Common Criticisms (17:40) Mislabeled as a "Feminist" (24:40) Jubilee Debate Performance (29:55) Biblical Response (40:10) Power of Self-Control (51:20) Encouragement to Women (1:00:00) Elizabeth Eddy --- Today's Sponsors: Good Ranchers — Go to https://GoodRanchers.com and subscribe to any of their boxes (but preferably the Allie Beth Stuckey Box) to get free Waygu burgers, hot dogs, bacon, or chicken wings in every box for life. Plus, you'll get $40 off when you use code ALLIE at checkout. Jase Medical — Go to Jase.com and enter code “ALLIE” at checkout for a discount on your order. Pre-Born — Will you help rescue babies' lives? Donate by calling #250 & say keyword 'BABY' or go to Preborn.com/ALLIE. Fellowship Home Loans — Fellowship Home Loans is a mortgage lending company that offers home financing solutions while integrating Christian values such as honesty, integrity, and stewardship. Go to https://fellowshiphomeloans.com/allie to get up to $500 credit towards closing costs when you finance with Fellowship Home Loans. Constitution Wealth Management — Let's discover what faithful stewardship looks like in your life. Visit Constitutionwealth.com/Allie for a free consultation. --- Episodes you might like: Ep 1260 | Charlie Kirk's Replacement & Jen Hatmaker's Shocking Paganism https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/relatable-with-allie-beth-stuckey/id1359249098?i=1000734097800 Ep 1254 | Jubilee Reaction: How to Debate 20 Liberal Christians https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/relatable-with-allie-beth-stuckey/id1359249098?i=1000732041086 Ep 1236 | Mom of 10 on How to Order Your Day & Raise Godly Kids | Abbie Halberstadt https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-1236-mom-of-10-on-how-to-order-your-day-raise/id1359249098?i=1000724064460 Ep 796 | Former Lesbian Activist Calls “Soft” Christians to Repentance | Guest: Rosaria Butterfield https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-796-former-lesbian-activist-calls-soft-christians/id1359249098?i=1000610921016 --- Buy Allie's book "You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love": https://alliebethstuckey.com/book Relatable merchandise – use promo code 'ALLIE10' for a discount: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Libby comes home with a project to do and is very excited to get started. She tells Margherita all about it, then puts on her headphones and gets to work. Mom is surprised when she comes into her room to see what she is doing. Libby can't hear her mom until she taps her on the shoulder, and then they chat about her project. After dinner, Libby wants to get back up to her room to finish up, but when she gets there, a surprise awaits her. ✔️ Perfect for ages 4+ Sleep Tight!, Sheryl & Clark ❤️
The podcast kicks off with fall colors...which turns into Lino calling his Mom live on the air. After that, Tyler has a predicament aka PredicamenTyler. Then, it's time for the annaul SEC football game - this year in Tennessee. And the podcast wraps up with drinking Holy Water!
Tiff and Kristy provide guidance on how to assess your practice's financial health as 2025 begins to wrap up (and what to start thinking about for 2026). They touch on… Reviewing those P&Ls monthly Aligning spending habits Keeping emotions in check And more! Episode resources: Subscribe to The Dental A-Team podcast Schedule a Practice Assessment Leave us a review The Dental A Team (00:01) Hello, Dental A Team listeners. I am so excited to be here with you today. I truly love this portion of what we get to do in our worlds and getting to get you so much valuable information out to the masses is something that Dental A Team has worked and strived just so hard to achieve in our. consulting world of just getting you all this information and I have with me today one of my faves. I seriously, I have the most amazing consulting team and if you guys haven't heard from all of them yet, you soon will and if you don't know them personally yet, they're not your consultants. I hope that you get to meet every single one of us even if you're just coming to the events, however it is, but I... have a personal favorite here for recording podcasts with. She calms me, she just keeps the energy light and fresh and I love any time that we get together. Kristy, thank you so much for being here today. How are you doing? The weather is like weird today. I always tell everybody about the Arizona weather and it's so much fun to have everybody here in the same place. We all live in Arizona in the Phoenix area. Jane is down in the Tucson area, but. We really love it. And Kristy, how's your world over there? You're just in the beautiful little pocket of Phoenix. And how is it? DAT Kristy (01:23) Yeah, it's awesome. I love that you say that because we do pride ourselves on the weather here, right? But even with that, this weekend we got a lot of rain, what they say the most in like seven years. Yet all of us, even as close as we are, we experience it so different, right? Like some places flooded. I didn't get flooding, thank goodness, but it downpoured. It was fun and it's made it for cool mornings. So we're taking it. The Dental A Team (01:42) Yeah. I agree. I agree that humidity is hitting us hard. So we're not super used to that, but it is making for some, some really beautiful mornings. totally agree. And yes, Britt and I were actually in Reno at our quarterly in-person traction event where we have a, implementer who comes in and leads it for us. And he helps us to build out the company structure and, teaches and trains us on how to run large meetings like that. So it's always super cool. But we were up in Reno with Britt and or with Kiera Shelbi and Britt and I actually got stuck. Jenna got out. She got back to Denver, which is crazy because Denver always shuts down. And so she got back to Denver. But ⁓ we got stuck until Saturday because the airport was shut down. And then there was a storm in Vegas because we thought, OK, well, we'll fly to Vegas because it's only a five and a half hour drive from there and we'll still get home. And then ⁓ that flight got canceled too. So it was wild. was meant to be, got more time in Reno and got to spend a little bit more time with Kiera. So that was great, but it was kind of crazy. It's not usually Phoenix that disrupts the flight patterns. And it was a hundred percent Phoenix. There were so many flights canceled because so many planes were stuck here and other planes couldn't get in. So it was wild, Kristy. It was wild to watch it from afar. We just got like TikTok notifications and you know, news articles are like, my gosh, all the Waymo's stuck in the puddles and things like that. So. DAT Kristy (03:15) Yeah, they just stopped in the middle of the road like what the heck. The Dental A Team (03:18) Yeah, that's why whenever somebody says, you use the way most? I'm like, heck no, I have seen them stuck in the middle of intersections far too many times. I'm sure one day it's going to be fantastic, but I haven't built that trust muscle just yet. DAT Kristy (03:30) Yeah, agree. Well, I'm glad you made it home safe. And ⁓ yeah, the humidity is odd for us too. The Dental A Team (03:34) Thank you. Yeah, yeah, it totally is. And my son was like, Oh, you go to the East Coast enough, Mom, you're fine. Stop complaining. And I was like, Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. But but in the spirit of planning, we we truly had an amazing time really just one getting the time together as a leadership team and then to really looking and projecting like where are we at? What's Q4 going to look like? And then also kind of prepping and planning for 2026. So super relevant in this conversation here. today and really looking at ⁓ practice health from a financial standpoint. And this is something that your CPAs and your financial advisors and all of those professionals should be looking at with you as well. This is the time of the year that we're really looking at what is this last year? Because we get to Q4 and it's like, well, it's kind of like the end of your senior year, right? You get to the end of your senior year of high school or college and you're like, well, everything's kind of basically submitted. So from here, It's really just like, let's do our best and make sure that we really cross that finish line strong, but there's not a ton of pivots to be made to really change the game. So kind of prepping and planning. And I think looking ahead at 2026, putting in some really solid ways of checking in on that financial health, something that I've seen that, Kristy, I know you do this as well, but something I've seen a lot of clients really ramp up is a monthly pulse and even like, weekly sometimes pulse on what the financials of a practice actually look like has really been beneficial in helping them to really reach those goals. And Kristy, you are really fantastic at figuring those financial goals out and then like backtracking them to see, okay, well, what do we need to do to get there? And how do you help practices really keep that financial pulse top of mind and that running that way so that they're constantly looking at those numbers without feeling overwhelmed and also without losing sight of it. Because you know sometimes you do something too often, you start glazing over it. What's that fine balance that some some tactical tips that you have that you and your practices are working on right now? DAT Kristy (05:52) Yeah, well, first and foremost, I believe that you have to be getting your P &Ls from your accountant monthly, right? We can't be waiting. I have seen some clients where they're begging for them for three months ago, you know, and it makes it really hard to stay on top of it if we're not getting them monthly. So first and foremost, make sure you're getting them from them monthly so that we can take a look at them and evaluate. And I like what you said, Tiff. ⁓ you can be, you can go over the top. It's a fine line, right? So I love looking at them every month and I'm not going to freak out if something's out of whack one month, but certainly let's look at the quarter, right? And make sure that those metrics are in alignment for the quarter. And to your point, I always like to speak in terms of like, we're going to crawl before we walk and we're going to walk before we run. Like, In the crawling stage, let's just make sure where's your overhead, right? What percentage are we at there and what is our profit or EBITDA, so to speak, right? Where are we ranging there? That would be my first little steps to take and start looking at it. The Dental A Team (07:10) Yeah, yeah, I totally agree. And I think what time of the month do you usually push for those PNLs to be received? I have my judgments, but what are yours? DAT Kristy (07:21) like to say by the 15th. I'll give you a little grace and give you by the 20th, but the 15th is my ideal target. The Dental A Team (07:28) Yeah, yeah. I think I'm a little stricter. If I don't have those CPAs reaching out to us by like the eighth to the 10th, I'm like, my gosh, how are we supposed to work with this? There's a lot of, and I ask that because there's a lot of clients out there that are getting them like the first week of the next, next month. And so maybe December, we're finally looking at October. DAT Kristy (07:35) Thank The Dental A Team (07:53) And that is like, gosh, such a lag that we've got these questions floating around of like, where's my cashflow TIF and how do I fix this, Kristy? And it's like, I don't know, because I don't have eyes on what's happening. The P &Ls should be much quicker and much cleaner than that. And realistically, it's just it's the bookkeeper going in and allocating the certain expenses to the category that they should be in. So it's time consuming. but it shouldn't be too crazy. And if yours is too crazy, then we probably need to look at your spending. Do we need to dial back the number of orders that you're placing every month? Do we need to make sure that things are a little bit more simple on that side, that it can be done quicker? Because we wanna be able to make real-time adjustments as quickly as we can. If we're on a two-month lag. then we're adjusting for two months ago, it could look totally different. And then next month we get two months ago and it's like, it was totally different. We didn't need to change it. And so we're just constantly spinning our wheels in that way if we're not getting the data fast enough. And that is, in my opinion, one of the easiest ways to ensure that you're financially healthy is really just ensuring, like you said, Kristy, that on an overtime basis, things are consistent and they're clear, that they make sense. DAT Kristy (09:08) 100%. I like that you said push to the 10th, because obviously if, you know, in the walk or crawling stage, we're just learning, right? We have a little bit of buffer, but as we get to the top of our game, it should be more. And if everything is electronically done, it really is in there already. It's just a matter of organizing it, right? The Dental A Team (09:30) Yeah, and I like to give myself the grace because I know or give them the grace. I typically know if we ask for it by the 10th, we're getting it by the 15th to the 20th. If I give them that leeway, they'll take it. And we know that's just how it works in that world. That's fine. We work with what we've got and figure it out. And I think it's a massive place to start, Kristy, is those P &Ls. And I think the P &Ls really outline DAT Kristy (09:39) Thank The Dental A Team (09:56) the financial health in so many different areas because it gives us insight to what is actually happening. Having those categories split out, we've talked about that a ton, we've done a ton of webinars on it and if you need help with that, reach out. We've got really simple sheets and documents that you can even send over to your bookkeepers and your CPAs that kind of outlines what we like it to look like so that it's simple to review. But being able to see those over time is huge. I know I have a client that like one month was 48 % overhead and that's before Dr. Pay, that's before loans, right? And it's like, holy cow, we killed it. But then it's like, okay, but hold on, because the next month was 64%. So taking an average there because likely something got shifted, payments got posted, or I don't know, I've had some clients that's like, my gosh, I forgot to pay Henry Schein for two months. So then it's like that third month had this massive Henry Schein payment. but over the quarter, it wasn't that bad. So making sure that we're looking at it month by month and over the quarter is huge. ⁓ Something that we've done, that we've ramped up ourselves and that we do ramp up with a lot of clients is really looking at our bank accounts constantly. And I know that Kiera and our financial team, they look at our bank accounts weekly on a weekly basis to make sure that everything makes sense, that things are. where they're supposed to be that, you know, that we're not getting charged for things we shouldn't have been, et cetera, but then also that we're staying in alignment with the budget that we had set. And those budgets come from those P &Ls and those total numbers. Kristy, something I've realized recently in the recent years is while I was in practice, I would build our budgets for our spending. like our... you know, five to 8 % for supplies or what have you or ortho budget, things like that. I would build it based off of our collections, air quotes on that word, and it would be our collections from Dendrix. I'd pull the collections for the last month. I'd build that budget based on the collections. And then Doc would be like, where's all the money? Like, well, I don't know, it should be there. But there's such caveats to what's been posted in Dendrix or your operating software. compared to what's actually in QuickBooks, I found that I was running this like ragged race of trying to play catch up all the time with like even just the percentages for credit card fees and third party financing being taken out of our payments, just those simple tweaks make a massive difference. So building those budgets, Kristy, off of our actual P &L numbers, our actual QuickBooks collections has... made a massive difference, I know, for a lot of my clients. How do you see that working for clients? And also, how do you see that working with a leadership team that maybe doesn't have access to or not looking at those P &Ls together? How do you suggest for financial stability and health in the practice, they really get that information down to the people that need it? DAT Kristy (13:08) Yeah, absolutely. One of the things, ⁓ well, there's a couple things. We at Dental A Team keep scorecards for our clients and it could be as simple as adding that line in there and having the doctor put that dollar amount and having the budget calculate right there. Everybody can see it. They know what to spend. The other thing to that point Tiff is, You know, a lot of times we look at the practice management, we see our collections, but how many times do we reconcile it with our QuickBooks? Like, really look at that and see. And obviously, just like you said, it could be a matter of when something was posted or when it came in, right, to the bank account. But I think that's an area that sometimes is overlooked. You know, there can be variance in there, obviously, for when things post, but... what is that variance and how consistent are we having that variance? again, depending on which method you're using, if you're using the collections from your PMS or the collections that are posted in the P &L, we better be clear what that difference is and ⁓ account for it for sure. Right. The Dental A Team (14:25) Totally agree. And you actually reminded me just last week, I was in an office and I was like, what is happening here? I was going through their P and L and I'm like, okay, we've got, we've had some changes in the office. We've got some places that it was decreasing. Some places we spent more, some places we actively spent more on purpose. Like, but things just weren't adding up with what was coming through from the software. And I realized after an hour and a half of digging, I'm like, why is... I put a line items, I updated the scorecard and I put a line item for like QuickBooks collections and then the PMS collections. And in comparison, I had it subtract and like tell me the difference in numbers. And there were months that were coming up $30,000 different that it looked like we collected $30,000 more in their software than what QuickBooks was showing us. Luckily, I know this office manager very well personally, like familiarly. And I'm like, I know there's no conclusion to jump to here. Like something is not reporting correctly. And what I realized is they specifically use Dentrix. Dentrix will allocate any positive write-off or adjustment. if there's an adjustment that's adding money, it'll allocate it to production. If there's an adjustment that's removing money, it automatically adds it to collections. So when you pull up the adjustment space in Dentrix, it'll show all positive production, all negative collections. So it was showing drastic differences. And so I was like, gosh, I totally forgot about this space in Dentrix that it does this. It's just, I call them the Dentrix-isms. It's just a Dentrix thing. It's very frustrating, but it just is what it is. So when I went through, I reallocated where the write-offs should be coming from. Now, caveat, messes up. production collections for forever because it's now correcting it. So what you thought you had done, you didn't, and it fixes it. So the new numbers are more accurate, but you're going to be frustrated because it's different. But what it did when I did that and re-put in the collections numbers is that it brought that $30,000 difference down to a more manageable $1,200 to $3,000 difference, which is what we tend to see with the care credit fees and all those different credit card processing fees, we typically see, I say like 5,000 or less, I'm not going to freak out about too much as long as it's inconsistent. I don't want to see consistency. I want to see really low numbers. And then again, sometimes some of that money is going to be pushed over to the next month. So quarterly, it made sense. Quarterly, it was beautiful. Month by month, it was a little wonky, but just making that change because we were checking the financial health of the practice because things didn't feel like they were making sense. So we, the office manager and I pulled the full year's PNL and we did line item by line item comparison 2024 to 2025 percentage change on each space, went through and figured out where the spending was, went through and line itemed everything and then added it like you said to the scorecard to see those differences, massive. massive improvements where the docs were feeling like cashflow was like, ⁓ we were freaking out. And it was like, well, these are the areas where you intentionally spent money and were actually only a 16 % difference overall year to year. And they were like, ⁓ so we didn't increase enough, but their spending was purposeful for taxes. We just didn't look that way yet on paper. Regarding financial health of the practice, that was exactly what we did, but adding it, like you said, to the scorecard and looking at, I think the scorecard's just really cool because it allows you to see over time. Whereas a new sheet is I'm only dealing with today. So I'm only looking at today. I might look at it and say, oh my gosh, my employee percentage was 42%. That's real life, I've seen that in an office. It was 42 % this month, and you're like, cut hours. But over the quarter, it was, 30 % or 31%. We had a spike because we had a collections dip or whatever. So I think adding it where you're seeing that kind of comparison allows you to see what is the trend here or is this an abnormality? Does this level itself out? Am I on track for over time or do I need to jump and hot fire? And Kristy with that said, like, you think, as I'm saying that I'm thinking, Is that a space where we could even tame our emotions around finances? Because we're seeing so much data in a bigger spectrum where we can see trends, uptrends or downtrends, rather than this like, my gosh, payroll was so high, I've got to tackle that. It's allowing us to see a broader picture. Do you think that helps reduce some of the emotional, like just quick fixes? DAT Kristy (19:34) Absolutely. And we don't want to react, right? Many times we go to that mindset of cut, cut, cut. you, and you know, one of the things that I learned a long time ago is you can't focus on the opposite. So if we're focused on cutting, then we're not focused on producing, right? And so yeah, you're 100 % right, Tiff. I think it does calm the reactionary, right? It's good to know, notice, but then look at the bigger picture. The Dental A Team (19:48) Yeah. Mmm. Yeah, gorgeous. As I was talking like, my gosh, Kristy, that's why you do so well with coaching in my opinion, because you are very, very good at being data and results driven, acknowledging the emotional aspect and not discrediting that by any means, but being able to focus back to what the drivers are and then being able to acknowledge and address any emotions that are still present. But you do well removing that because we're looking at data and data is non-emotional. You can come up with something and there's been so many times where I could think of so many offhand where I've data-drivenly discussed something with a client and they're like, ⁓ and the emotion kind of disintegrates, it dissipates because it was attached to what they thought to be true. And when they saw the reality, there was no need for that emotion anymore. DAT Kristy (20:59) Exactly. Well, and to be honest with you, it goes both ways, right? It's the same thing as if we're only looking at the practice numbers, sometimes they think they're doing very well or not doing well, either one. And then once we look at the overhead numbers, it's like, actually, you're here, you know? So ⁓ it goes hand in hand both ways. I always like to say, you know, if I had a pizza business and I was going to sell pizzas, The Dental A Team (21:18) Yeah. Yeah. I love that. DAT Kristy (21:29) I need to break it down and figure out what it cost me to make the pizza, then I can go sell the pizza. But so many times we don't do that and we just put it out in front of us, right? And then on the back end of it, we do have to measure how many pizzas did we sell and how much did we actually spend. Sometimes we forget to go back and look at the cost too. The Dental A Team (21:34) Yup. Yeah, wow, that's a very good point. Very good point, which is where the P &Ls come in handy and the line items. And I think the P &Ls will group it and lump it into categories, but every now and again, maybe like once a quarter or so, really looking at what are they putting in those categories so that one, you're making sure they're still super accurate from the bookkeeper and two, that you're not like Amazon spending. There was a couple clients that I saw. DAT Kristy (21:56) Mm-hmm. The Dental A Team (22:19) I'm like, what is going on? Why is this category so jumpy? One month it's massive, another month it's not, and they get lumped into office supplies and front office supplies, and all of a sudden it's $3,000 when realistically budgeting-wise it should be $1,200. I'm like, what is in here? And they're like, Amazon goes in there. Every time we want something or Doc says something, we just press the order. And I was like, ⁓ Got it, we need some systems around Amazon or Walmart. I've seen like, I just run to Walmart and I grab what we need every week. And I'm like, my gosh, there's weekly ordering will hurt you every single time. Any kind of weekly ordering. If you can't budget the ordering in a monthly fashion or maybe twice a month, I'll give leniency on twice a month, then we need to talk. Cause that weekly ordering will hurt you every single time. I think this is all really good, Kristy. I love this. I love this. And I go ahead. DAT Kristy (23:16) Yeah. I was to say, I agree with you. mean, we can liken it to our own space if we go to the grocery store with a list or without a list. What is our end result when we pay? You know, so I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm like for dental supplies, we can go to twice a month, but have it fixed and then make sure you're staying within the confines of the budget. The Dental A Team (23:27) Yeah. Yes, yeah, that's actually brilliant. Yeah. Yeah, I agree. And I think that was that was a super great thought process there. Because if you're not planning even your dinners, right, I'll plan my dinners for the week. So then I know what ingredients I need and what ingredients if I know what ingredients I need for specific dinners, I know what I can reuse as well. Otherwise, I'm going to the grocery store just kind of getting random things that I think I can make into something. And I'm ending up at the grocery store a couple times a week to replenish or, you know, supply those missing pieces. And so if you know what your schedule is, if you know on average how many crowns you're doing, how many fillings you're doing, how many implants you're doing, you can have an average guesstimate of how much of each supply you need to keep on hand, which is then going into your budget for your ordering. So that was beautiful. Yeah, good job. All right, guys, financial health is massive. And it's something that I think all of us, Kristy, Trish, Monica, Dana, myself, we all just work really, really hard to ensure that it's top of mind for all of our clients. But if you're here listening and you're not yet a client of ours and you're a Dental A Team podcast listener for life, we love you and we wanna make sure you have this information too. please, by all means, somewhere around the 10th of the month, because we know it's probably gonna go longer, make sure you've got those panels in there. Talk to your bookkeeper. If you are the bookkeeper, I have a couple clients like that. Put it your calendar, you guys. If you are your own bookkeeper, that's fine. I'm not gonna judge you. I think it is a task that you can easily pay for, but I'm not here for that. If you are your bookkeeper, put it in your calendar and you should have that sucker done by like the fifth or the eighth of the month because everything should be closed out. Review your PNLs monthly and quarterly and yearly. Review your spending habits constantly. I have a lot of practices that'll look weekly. I have a lot of practices that'll look monthly, whichever works best for you. Just make sure you're reviewing those spending habits and then budget for your team. So your supplies ordering, your front office, those are the easiest places to budget. Make sure that you've got an ortho budget added in there. If you have ortho fees and ortho costs that are outside of like Invisalign, things like that. I have a lot of practices that do bracket style ortho and they need a lot of supplies that has to be separated out. Those are your pieces, you guys. Those are the easiest ways that you can tackle real life, real life, in time, financial health. And we want you to go do that. Kristy, thank you so much for your insight. You truly do so well with your clients and we get to see their progress constantly and those needles are always moving. And I know that it's because you can take that black and white results driven perspective. So thank you for everything you do for your clients and everything that you bring to Dental A Team every day. DAT Kristy (26:33) Thank you, it's fun. The Dental A Team (26:35) I know, I know, I love watching you do it. You really do love it. And it makes me really happy. All right, guys, that's a wrap for today. Go leave us a five star review. Let us know what was super helpful. Maybe there's some tips and tricks you've got that you can share with the world. I'm telling you, people really do go read those. So if you have things in there, they will see them. You can drop us an email, Hello@TheDentalATeam.com. We'll be happy to get you over any documents that might help. We do have some. budgeting information, we do have some overhead spreadsheets, things like that. If you need help with that, just reach out and we'll catch you next time on the Dental A Team podcast. Thanks guys!
You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I do a coaching call with Joanna who has a 2-year-old and a 7-year-old. We cover how to make mindset shifts so you can better show up for your kids, as well as get into specifics around night weaning, bedtime battles, handling meltdowns, playful parenting and increasing our connection to our kids.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:40 how to manage meltdowns* 9:00 Night weaning and bedtime challenges* 20:00 Emptying a full emotional backpack* 26:00 Kids who always want more attention* 28:00 Understanding blame and anger* 38:00 Games to play when a child is looking for more power* 44:00 How our mindset makes such a big difference when parenting* 47:30 Two keys to peaceful parenting!* 55:00 Playful approaches to bedtimeResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* How to Help Our Little Ones Sleep with Kim Hawley * Episode 100: When Your Child Has a Preferred Parent (or Not) with Sarah and Corey * Episode 103: Playful Parenting with Lawrence Cohen * Playful Heart Parenting with Mia Wisinski: Episode 186 xx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERETranscript:Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's episode is a coaching episode. My guest is Joanna, mom of a 7-year-old and a 2-year-old. Joanna's 7-year-old is an intense child, and she wanted to know how to handle her big feelings and find more connection with her.She also had some specific challenges around bedtime, namely that her partner works shift work and is not home at bedtime. She still breastfeeds her 2-year-old to sleep, so is unavailable to her seven-year-old for a bit, and then has trouble getting her seven-year-old to bed without a fight. Joanna also shared how low she was on resources, and we had a great discussion about how that impacts her parenting and what she might do about it.Also, meltdowns—we talked about those too and how to respond. I know Joanne is not alone. One note: after we did the follow-up call, I realized I forgot to ask her about a few things. So she kindly recorded a couple of P.S.'s that I'll include. If you're curious, like I am, you'll be glad she gave us the latest updates.If you would like to come on the podcast and be coached by me, I am looking for a few parents who are interested. You can email me at sarah@sarahrosensweet.com.As always, please give us a five-star rating and a review on your favorite podcast app, and if you know another parent or caregiver that this would be helpful for, please screenshot it and send it to them. The best way to reach more families with peaceful parenting is through word of mouth, so we really appreciate any shares that you might be able to give us.Okay. Let's meet Joanna. Okay.Sarah: Hi Joanna. Welcome to the podcast.Joanna: Hi. Thanks for having me.Sarah: Tell me a little bit about yourself.Joanna: Sure. I live up in Ottawa, Canada, with my husband and my two kids. I'm a music therapist, so right now I'm working with babies. I teach Yoga with Baby and, um, a class called Sing and Sign at a local wellness center.Sarah: Nice. How old are—Joanna: Yes, I have a 7-year-old girl who we'll call Jay.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: And then a 2-year-old boy called JR.Sarah: JJ. Okay, perfect. Okay, so how can I support you today?Joanna: Yeah, so my daughter has always been, like, a bit of a tricky one. Um. She was born premature, so at 29 weeks. And no kind of lasting effects. But as she's gotten older, we've noticed, like, she's really struggled a lot with emotional regulation. Um, and she kind of gets stuck on certain behaviors. So I feel like we've done a lot to change our parenting, in part thanks to you and your podcast and all the material. Um, I did finally read, um, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids this past summer.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And I feel like it also had a huge effect, just having, like, that bigger scope of understanding of, like, the peaceful parenting philosophy.Sarah: Uh-huh.Joanna: So I would say, like, even from where we were a few months ago, we've experienced tons of positive shifts with her.Sarah: Sweet.Joanna: Yeah, so we're already kind of well on our way, but there are certain behaviors that she has that still I find really perplexing. So I wondered if maybe we could go over a couple of them.Sarah: Sure. Yeah, no problem. For anyone—if, for anyone who doesn't know, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids is the book written by my mentor, who I trained with, Dr. Laura Markham. Um, and just for my own curiosity, what do you think? Because, you know, I always worry that people are—that they don't have the fully formed idea of peaceful parenting. And that—and I'm not saying you, because you've listened to the podcast so you probably have a deeper understanding—but some people are just getting their little snippets on Instagram reels, you know, and so it is hard to understand, like, the, the sort of the core reasons why we do the approach if you don't have that deeper understanding. And also, I'm working on a book right now, so hopefully soon you'll be able to say you read my book. But what did you—what do you feel like got fleshed out for you when you read that book?Joanna: I think she really breaks a lot of things down step by step, such as, like, what to do when your child is going through a meltdown.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And that has always been an area—like, when my daughter gets to that point where she's, like, become really explosive and aggressive and she's just, like, in it and she's kind of unreachable at that moment—like, what to do step by step at that time. I think, like, that's been the most helpful because I've been able to really settle into my own parenting and just, like, really trust myself and anchor in at that point, which is exactly really what she needs and what was missing.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah.Joanna: So—Sarah: So I think, um—like I always say, focus on regulating yourself first. Like, when someone's having a meltdown, empathize.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: Um, you know, it—yeah, it's—it can be hard because you often feel like you need to do something. And even though you're saying step by step, it's less about doing anything than just centering yourself, staying calm yourself, trying to get in touch with the compassion and empathy even if you're not—some pe—some parents say, “Oh, well, when I try to say anything, then my kid just screams more.” So sometimes it's just empathize—like, getting connected in your own heart to the empathy and compassion, even if you're not saying anything—and that, that does something.Joanna: Absolutely it does. Yeah.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: Yeah, so that's all been really helpful. Now, in—in terms of emotional regulation, I do definitely think that that's the biggest piece.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: Uh, it's been the biggest piece for me and sort of, like, one of the big things that I wanted to talk to you about today is we are still really not getting sleep because my 2-year-old is not a good sleeper and has never been a good sleeper. And we've gone through periods where I'm like, okay, now he's only waking up, like, twice a night, and that feels manageable. Um, but he's kind of been back to waking up, like, three to six times a night again, which is so hard. And then my husband's very supportive; however, he works afternoons, so he's gone from about 3:00 PM to 1:00 AM, so he needs to be able to sleep until about eight, which means I'm up with my son between six and seven. My daughter gets up for school around 7:30, so that's, like, a tricky time of day because she's really quite grumpy in the morning. He's not—the toddler's really, like, kind of a totally different temperament. But, like, I'm tired after struggling with, like, night wakings all night. And then I'm with the kids from the time that she gets home from school, um, and then doing both bedtimes myself.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Um, so there's a lot of time where, like, I am solo parenting, and I'm definitely, like, the preferred parent. Um, and both my kids really want me and need me at bedtime. So he is still nursing—like, I'm nursing to sleep and then nursing during the night. And I know that that's probably contributing a lot to all the night wakings. So, I guess my question is, like, I am at the point where I am ready to night-wean. I probably should have done it already, but—Sarah: Don't say “should have.” Like, it's—if you're not ready to make that change, like, in your heart, it's really torturous to try to—try to, like, not—so say you decide you want to night-wean, but you weren't really ready to do it. It would be so painful for you to deny your son nursing in the night if you were—if you didn't feel in your heart, like, “No, this is the right thing to do. I'm totally ready. I think he's ready.” So, so I think waiting until you're really, like, actually, yes, “I'm done with this,” is a smart thing. Yeah. So don't beat yourself up for not having done it already. But you're right, it probably does contribute to him waking up in the night.Joanna: Yeah. And, um, I do feel like I—I'm ready. I just—I'm not quite sure how to make that shift. So what generally happens is, like, we have some, like, virtual babysitting going on with my mom, where, like, when I nurse my son to sleep, which generally takes, like, between maybe 30 and 45 minutes, she'll, like, sit with her and do a workbook. So we'll have, like, a video chat, and then after—Sarah: Yeah, it's great.Joanna: So then after, um, I'm with her to get her ready for bed, and that oftentimes looks like a lot of, like, dragging heels on, like, “Oh, I want another snack,” and “I wanna, like, brush my teeth,” and “Whatever—don't wanna brush my teeth.” So, um, then that ends up taking usually about an hour, but we both sort of have, like, this expiration at about 9:00 PM, where, like, she just gets so dysregulated because she's so tired.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: So if I don't have her in bed at that point and, like, already kind of with the lights out, there's often just, like, a meltdown and some—like, she'll start calling me names and start, like, you know, throwing stuff down at me and whatnot. And then I'm just really tired by that point too. Yeah. So we can kind of joke around about it now—like, nine o'clock is the time where we're, like, where we both expire. So I'm trying to figure out, like, how can I night-wean? Because I know that that is supposed to start with, like, him being able to fall asleep by himself at the beginning of the night, so—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Slowly phasing that out and laying with him. I know it's gonna probably take a lot longer in the beginning, so I'm just a little worried that, like, maybe if it takes, like, an hour, an hour and a half, then all of a sudden she's kind of, like, left hanging and it's getting later and her bedtime's being pushed back.Sarah: Are there any—are there any nights that your partner is home at bedtime?Joanna: There's two—Sarah: nights that—Joanna: he—Sarah: is,Joanna: yeah.Sarah: Yeah. I mean, I guess I would start with those nights.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: Yeah. Start with those nights. And—and when was your son's birthday? Like, like how—two—is he—Joanna: He just turned two, like, two weeks ago.Sarah: Okay. So, I mean, I think I would start with trying to just practice, you know, nursing him and maybe nursing him somewhere else and then bringing him back, you know, and then putting him in—are you co-sleeping?Joanna: Sleep—yeah. Well, I put him—like, I generally nurse him to sleep. He has a floor bed in his room, and then I go to bed in my own room, and then at his first wake, then I go back in, and I just stay there for the room—the rest of the night from that point.Sarah: Right, right. So I, I guess I would try just, like, nursing him and trying to, like, pat his back and sing to him and, you know, tell him that—that he can have—I, I mean, what we did was, “You can have milk in the morning,” you know, “You could have it when it's light.” I remember my oldest son—when he—it took him a couple of days—and if you wanna hear the whole story of my failed night-weaning with my second son, it was in a podcast that we did about infant and toddler sleep, uh, with Kim.Joanna: Yeah, Kim?Sarah: Yes. So you could listen to that if you haven't heard that already. But my second—my first son was super easy to night-wean, and a couple of—it was, like, a couple of nights of a little bit of crying, and he would just say, “Make it light, Mama. Make it light,” because he wanted—I said, “You can nurse when it's light.” But, you know, I, I, I don't wanna get into that whole big thing on this podcast because—mm-hmm—just because I've already talked about it. But if you wanna listen to that, and if you have any questions when we do our follow-up, you can, uh, you can ask me. But, you know, I would just try, you know, talking to him about, then, you know, “You can have Milky in the morning,” or whatever you call it, and, you know, those two—see how it goes for those two nights where your partner's around. And if it doesn't—I would say, if it still seems really hard, maybe just waiting to do it until—I don't know if you have any other support you could enlist. You mentioned your mother—maybe she could come and visit, you know, because I do think it would be hard to try and do this and do the solo bedtimes for a while. So I don't know if there's a time when your mom could come visit or if there's some other support that you could have. But yeah—Joanna: I think the tricky part with that is that, like, she—even with my husband—like, she doesn't want him to put her to bed.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And depending on the kind of night that she's having, sometimes she'll end up, like, screaming, and their bedrooms are right beside each other. So we've had it before where, like, she'll start having a meltdown and, like, wake him up, and then he's not able to fall asleep either. And then we—Sarah: There's also—your husband could be with your son.Joanna: It's the same—same situation though. Like, he doesn't—him—Sarah: It sounds—it sounds like possibly—I mean, there—kids do have preferred parents even when, um, they do have good connection with the—with the other parent. And you could maybe still work—have some—that be something that you're working on, having your partner, you know, maybe even practicing having—before you start doing the night-weaning—practicing having your partner doing some of the bedtime stuff. When you are—when, you know, when—before you're starting to make a change so that your son doesn't associate, you know, “I'm not getting what I want,” and my dad, you know, putting me to sleep.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: So I would maybe try to get your partner a little bit more involved in bedtime before making a change. And—and even if there's some crying—we also have a podcast about preferred parents that you could listen to. So I—you know, I think maybe you do have a little bit of pre-work to do before you start doing the night-weaning, and, in terms of when—how can you get support at bedtime?Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: I mean, the other option is if you just kick it down the road more and—or, you know, there isn't—there's actually a third option now that I think about it—it's that you still nurse him to sleep but then don't nurse him when you wake him up—when he wakes up in the night. Get him to go back to sleep without that.Sarah: I hadn't thought about that, because I think that everything that I've heard has been, like, they have to fall asleep on their own because then they're always gonna be—Joanna: looking—Sarah: for—Joanna: Yeah. Yeah.Sarah: But I mean, you could still try it.Joanna: Hmm. Okay.Sarah: Or you could try shortening the—you know, give him a little bit of milk and then see if he'll go to sleep, um, after he has a little bit, but without nursing to sleep.Joanna: Okay. Yeah. Okay, I'll give that some thought and try some different things there.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Okay. Thank you. But yeah, I feel like just starting to get sleep again is pretty important. So, even in terms of, like, being able to center myself to handle all of the things that goes on with my daughter during the day, that feels like a really important piece right now.Sarah: For sure. And if she's—if she's some nights not going—it sounds like quite frequently maybe she's not asleep before nine.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: And what time does she wake up?Joanna: 7:30.Sarah: 7:30. So do you think she's getting enough sleep?Joanna: Probably not. She's really lethargic in the morning.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: But I can't really seem to figure out how to be able to get her to sleep. Like, I did talk to her about it, and she was like, “Well, maybe when I turn eight, like, I can start putting myself to bed.” And I was like, “Okay, well what—what would that look like?” And she kind of went through, like, “Okay, I'll, you know, I'll brush my teeth on the phone with Grandma, and then I'll just, like, read in bed.” And—but this is, like, in a moment where she's feeling very regulated.Sarah: Right, right, right. And when's her birthday?Joanna: Uh, in about two months.Sarah: Okay. Yeah. Um, have you had a conversation with her about how neither of you likes the fighting at night? And, you know—and does she have any, like—not in the moment, but does she have any ideas of, you know, how you can solve the problem of her not, you know, not wanting to go to bed and then getting too tired and then getting really cranky?Joanna: Yeah, we have—we have talked about it, and we can talk about it with, like, a little bit more levity now, but I don't think that she's actually—we've gone to, like, the problem-solving—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: of that.Sarah: I mean, that might be a helpful conversation to have with her and just say, “You know, I've been thinking about what often happens at night, you know, and I totally get it, that you don't wanna go to bed. Like, you know, when I was a kid, I never wanted to go to bed, and I would've stayed up all night if I could. And I'm sure you're the same because it's just—you know, when you're young, going to bed is, like, you know, not any fun at all.” And you can make—you could even make a joke, like, “When you're old like me, like, you can't wait to go to bed.” But of course when you're young, you don't wanna go to sleep, and I totally get that. So, like, lots of empathy and acknowledging, like, her perspective. And—and then you could say, “And at the same time, you know, you do—you know, why do you think it's important to sleep?” So I guess you could have that conversation with her too about, like, you know, what happens when we're sleeping that—your, you know, you could talk about how your cells, like, fix themselves. Also we grow when we're sleeping—like, we get the—like, the growth hormone gets secreted, and that's the—if we don't get enough sleep, we're not gonna grow and we're not gonna feel happy the next day. So you can, like, talk to her about the importance of sleep. And then you could say, like, “So, you know, I know you don't wanna go to sleep, and I know how important it is, and now you do too. And, you know—and I hate fighting with you at bedtime. You know, do you have any ideas for how we can solve this problem? Because I really want us both to go to bed feeling happy and connected.”Joanna: Yeah. Yeah, that's a great suggestion. Thank you. I think the biggest barrier to her getting to bed on time is she is finally feeling, like, a bit more calm and relaxed at night. Like, she comes home after school with a lot—she's holding a lot from school. They have, like, a point system for good behavior at school.Sarah: Oh.Joanna: And you should see how she racks up the points. She has great behavior at school. The teacher's, like—would never believe what goes on at home.Sarah: Of course, yeah.Joanna: So then she comes home, and it's, like, a lot of unloading. So I feel like by that time of night she's, like, ready to pursue her hobbies. Like, she's like, “Oh, I just wanna do this one more little”—you know, she's drawing something, and it's always like, “I just need to finish this,” because once she gets started on something, she can't seem to break her focus on—We're very much suspecting ADHD. That's gonna be probably in the next year we pursue a diagnosis, but—Sarah: Typically—do have a lot of trouble falling asleep—that's with ADHD. What about—you know, so two outta three of my kids had a lot of trouble falling asleep, and they're both my ADHD kids, and what really helped them was something to listen to at night. You know—Joanna: Yeah, she does listen to podcasts falling asleep—Sarah: Does listen to stuff.Joanna: Yeah, she's always listened—listened to, like, a story falling asleep. I think part of it too is we don't get a lot of one-on-one time throughout the day.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: Because my son's around in the morning.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: And it's usually just the three of us until my husband wakes up, which is shortly before she goes to school. And then it's again the three of us from after school till bedtime most days, except for the two days a week that he's off.Sarah: Well, I mean, that's something to explore too, like, in—are there, you know—I don't know if you live in a neighborhood that has some, like, tweens that could come over and play with your son for an hour—you know, just someone really fun that he would like to play with—and then you and your daughter could have some time together. Because what I was gonna say when you said that she comes home with what we call the “full backpack” in Peaceful Parenting—which is, she's been carrying around, for anyone who's listening who doesn't know what that is, it's a concept that my mentor, Dr. Laura, came up with—where you're holding on to all of the stresses, big feelings, tensions from the day, and then when you come home, it's too much to, you know, to keep holding onto it. And so that's what you were just referring to, is just that she's got a lot to unpack after the day at school. And so I'm wondering—so when you mentioned that, I was gonna say, like, what could you do to try to proactively get some of that emptied out? Couple of ideas: do you do any roughhousing with her?Joanna: We actually just started doing that, and I couldn't believe how much she was into it. Yeah, I was super surprised. But I also think that it's taken just a lot of, like, repair with our relationship to get to the point that I've even been able to try some of this stuff. Like, because at first, like, when I first started hearing about some of these, like, peaceful—I, I don't know if you'd call them techniques—but, like, being playful and, um, roughhousing and things like that—she was so not open to anything at all because she was just so serious and so edgy and like, “Get away from me,” like, so irritable. So now I think that we've just—I've poured a lot of time in on weekends just to, like, spend time together that's enjoyable, and I'm noticing a huge shift. So now we are able to do some of these things, and it—it is turning out more positively.Sarah: Good. I mean, as you're speaking, I'm thinking that it sounds like there was maybe, um, quite a—a breach when your son was born, like, the last two years. Or, or do you feel like your relationship has always been a little strained even before that?Joanna: I feel like maybe it's always been a little fraught. I don't know if his birth had, like, a huge impact on that. Um, it has always been pretty strained.Sarah: Okay, okay.Joanna: Just because she's the more challenging kid?Sarah: I think so. And, you know, when she was two there was the pandemic. I think, like, I was carrying a lot of trauma after the whole NICU experience with her. And then we had the pandemic, and then we moved, and then I got pregnant, and then I had my son. So it's like there's sort of been these, like, things along the way where—yeah, I don't know.Sarah: Yeah. Okay. Well, I mean, that's good that you brought that up because I think that, you know, maybe that's gonna be the pre-work—that even before bedtime starts to feel better is really working on—you know, if you can get some support in, because it is really hard to have one-on-one time with a 2-year-old who probably doesn't wanna leave you alone. But even if—you know, continue with your sort of bulking up on the weekends with that time with her and do some, like, roughhousing and special time with her. Do you guys do special time?Joanna: Yeah. And that's something I wanted to talk about because special time has been sort of a big fail when I call it special time and when we set a timer for special time, because it really tends to dysregulate her, I think, because she's like, “Oh my God, I only have you for 15 minutes.” Mm-hmm. She gets really stressed out, and then she's like—oftentimes she likes to do these, like, elaborate pretend plays—things which need, like, a lot, a lot of setup time. Yeah. So she'll be like, “Pause the timer so I can set this up,” and then it just becomes, like, more tension between us. Like, it's not enjoyable.Sarah: It's one of those things where, like, you really have to adjust it to how it works for your particular family. Um, so, you know, maybe you just have, like, a couple hours with her on the weekend and you're—and it would be good for your—your partner and your son too. Maybe he could take him to the park or go and—you know, for them to work on their connection, which might make him a little bit more willing to go to bed with his dad, you know, on the nights that your partner is home. So, you know, I would really work on that connection with her and do those pretend play things with her. And even—you know, and this is maybe obvious, which is why I didn't say it before—but, you know, partly she's dragging her heels because that's the only time she has you to herself—at bedtime, right?Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: And so she doesn't want that to end because that's the only time that it—her brother's asleep—she has you all to herself. So if you can increase the time where she has you all to herself, she might be more willing to, um, to go to bed. Yeah. The other thing I was gonna say is, do you have anything that you do together at bedtime that would be, like—it sounds like she's dragging her heels to actually get in bed. Is there anything that you can do to entice her to get in bed, like a chapter book that you're reading her, that you read a chapter every night or something like that?Joanna: Yeah, and that has worked in the past, but it can—it can also kind of cause tension because I find, like, then I am a lot more apt to kind of hold it as, like, a bargaining chip instead of, like, “Oh, let's get to that.” Right. But lately we've been playing cards, and she's really motivated to, like, play a game of cards when we're in bed. So that seems to be working right now, but it's always kind of like—it changes all the time.Sarah: Right, right. Well, just keeping—thinking of something that you can use to make getting in bed seem more attractive? Um, maybe—I mean, my kids used to love hearing stories about me when I was little or about them when they were little. So it could even just be, like, a talk time. I know Corey, who works with me, does—she started doing a 10-minute talk time with one of her sons, who's a little bit older than—than your daughter, but where they just have, you know, this time where they just get in bed and he tells her stuff and they—they talk. So that could be something too—just really pure, straight-up connection.Joanna: Yeah. Okay, I like that. Maybe I can just ask you a couple more things about some of the things I—She's kind of a person that really wants constant connection too. Like, it does feel like I could spend, like, all day with her, and then she—once it's over, she would still be like, “Well, why are we not still—” like, it—we've always kind of—my husband and I will joke that she's got, like, a leaky cup because it's, like, “Just fill up their cup,” but it doesn't seem to matter. He used to play with her for, like, two to three hours when she was younger, and then at the end she would just, like, not be satisfied. Like, it didn't seem like anything was going to, like, fill her cup.Sarah: And that—you know what, there are kids like that. I remember I had this client once whose son actually said to her, “Mama, all the—all the hours in the world are not enough time with you.” And there are some kids that are really just like that. And, you know, I'm not sure how you respond when she says, like, you know, “But we hardly even got to play,” after you play for three hours. I mean, that playful—like, “Oh my gosh, like, what if we could just play all day?” You know, either, like, playful response of, like, “We could play for 27 hours,” you know, “and—and—and we would still have so much fun together.” Or just pure empathy, you know, like, “Oh no, it just feels like it's never enough time, is it?”Joanna: And it almost seems like sometimes when I am empathetic, it almost, like, fuels her anger. I don't know if you've ever heard that before from anybody else, but—eh, I don't know. Like, we had a situation with—like, she was looking for a specific bear last weekend—a teddy bear that she's missing—because she wanted to bring it to a teddy bear picnic. And so we were sort of, like, you know, we had to get out the door to go to this party. She couldn't find this bear, and I was, like, you know, offering a lot of empathy, and just, like—the more that I was like, “I know, like, you're so frustrated; you're so disappointed that you can't find your bear,” it was like the more that she was like, “Yeah, and you took it, you hid it, you put it somewhere.” Like, it just—the more empathy I gave, it seemed like the more that she was using it as almost, like, fuel to be upset. Does that make sense? Right.Sarah: Yeah. No, that's pretty common. And the thing is, you have to remember that blame is trying to offload difficult feelings. It's like, “I don't wanna feel this way, so I'm gonna blame you.” And then—you know, it's anger—have you ever seen the image of the anger iceberg?Joanna: Yes.Sarah: Yeah. So the anger iceberg is, like, the anger is the only thing you see coming out of the water. But underneath the iceberg are all of the more tender feelings, right? And anger is actually a secondary emotion. So you don't start out by feeling angry. You feel—like, like for her, she maybe was feeling frustrated and disappointed that she couldn't find her bear. And those are the first feelings. But those more tender feelings are harder to feel, and so anger is often protective. And the tender feelings also set off that—you know, that overwhelm of our emotions registers as a threat to the nervous system, which sets off that fight, flight, or freeze. So there's all those things going on, right? Like, the blame of, like, trying to offload the feelings; the anger of feeling like it's easier to go on the offensive than to feel those tender feelings; and then the nervous system getting set off by that overwhelm that registers as a threat, right? It sets off the fight, flight, or freeze. And they're—they're kind of all different ways of saying the same thing. And yes, empathy often will help a child—that they get more in touch with those feelings. And I'm not saying that you don't wanna empathize, um, but just recognize that, you know, the feelings are happening, and when you empathize, they—you know, you're welcoming the feelings, which sometimes can have that fight, flight, or freeze effect.Joanna: And would you recommend that I continue to really lean into empathy more and just stay with all of that emotion until it passes?Sarah: So—totally depends. The other thing I was gonna say is it's possible—like the situation you just gave me—it's possible—like, how—were you actually feeling empathetic, or were you trying to just get out the door?Joanna: I think I was, but at a certain point I was like, “I think, you know, we have two options from here. Like, we can continue to be upset about the bear and it—it will make us late for the party, or at a certain point we can move on and make a new plan,” and, like, “get our—make our way over there.” So, um, is that effective? Yeah, I—I mean, she eventually was able to change gears. But, I mean, it doesn't feel like real life to just be able to, like, sit in your negative emotions all the time. And I think, like, maybe I struggle with doing that for, like, a long enough period of time to actually let her—let them out.Sarah: Well, I don't know—yeah. So, I mean, there's a difference between welcoming feelings and wallowing in emo—in emotion, I think.Joanna: Yeah. And she definitely is a wallower, and she almost has really, like, attached so much sadness and frustration and anger to this bear. Like, now she'll just, like, think about the bear and be like, “Oh, I still can't find that bear.” Like, she was just, like, you know, exploding about it again this past weekend. So it almost feels like she's just latching onto it to, like, feel bad there.Sarah: I mean, some kids—she's probably not choosing to latch onto it to feel bad, but she probably just has. So, so what I was gonna say is sometimes when kids seem to be wallowing, it's just that there's so much there that they haven't been able to get out on a regular basis. So I think it is just like a full backpack, and there's just a lot there. And it's not—it's probably not just about the bear. It's probably just like she's—it's, you know, processing other older things too. And you don't have to know what's in the backpack or try and figure it out. But you might find that if you had more opportunities for her to process feelings, then she might not get so stuck when they do start to come out.That's one thing that I would think of. Like—and more laughter should help with that. Like, more laughter and roughhousing to help her sort of process stuff. And also sometimes—so the bear thing reminds me of—some kids will just feel bad, you know, like feel bad sometimes from, like, a full backpack, or maybe they don't even know what it is, they can't connect. Or maybe they're just tired and low-resourced and their brain is kind of like, “Why do I feel bad? Why do I feel bad?” And she's like, “Oh, the bear.” You know, she remembers, like, the bear. Like, I've had clients tell me, my kid will say, like, “I miss Grandpa,” who they never met, who died before they were born—like, just kind of casting around for, like, “Why could I be feeling this way right now? Oh, I know—it's 'cause I can't find that bear.”Or maybe the bear is so important to her that it really is—that she thinks about it and it just makes her feel bad. But I think what you wanna remember when it seems like she's wallowing is that, you know, getting—like, having empathy. And I actually also did a podcast about this too, with another coaching call, where I talked about, you know, cultivating a certain amount of nonchalance after you feel like you've been pretty empathetic and welcomed the feelings. Because I think if we're too empathetic sometimes—and I do wanna be very careful with this because I don't want anyone to take this as, like, “Don't be empathetic”—but, you know, there is a time where you just say, like, “You know what? I hear how upset you are about this, and I get it. And I would be really bummed if I couldn't find the bear I wanted also. And we have to decide, like, are we gonna stay here and just keep feeling sad about the bear, or should we figure out another plan?” Like what you said, right.Joanna: Yeah, I have heard you say that before, and that's been so helpful for her. Mm-hmm. It seems like if I'm not so reactive to her emotions, she realizes that they're not an emergency either.Sarah: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean—and that's a good point too, because I didn't even ask you, like, how's your regulation when this is happening? Like, are you getting, like, annoyed, frustrated, upset for her, kind of drawn in? Are you able to, like, kind of center yourself and stay calm?Joanna: It varies. I would say I currently am the most resourced that I've ever been—good with, like, the emotional regulation piece. And then that—I see, like, sometimes she is able to come out of it more quickly, or it just depends on, you know, what her tolerance is at that—at that time. So—Sarah: Joanna, it might be that, you know, you're coming out of—almost like you're coming out of a fog of, you know—you said all the things: like the NICU experience, and then the—and then COVID, and then your new baby, and—and that it might be that you're really, finally for the first time, kind of getting to tend—you know, look at yourself, your own regulation, and be more present and connected with your daughter. And all these things are gonna start having a little bit of, um, of a snowball effect. And it may be that you've just had this, like, seven-year period of difficulty, you know?Joanna: Oh, that's horrifying.Sarah: Well, but the good news is it sounds like things are shifting.Joanna: Yeah. It really does feel like that. Yeah. You're—I feel like even if I talked to you a few months ago, I would've been like, “Oh, help me.”Sarah: Well—and that you're recognizing what you brought—what you bring to the table, and that, you know, things have been fraught with your daughter, and that you're sort of starting to come out. And—and honestly, also doing that—doing that bedtime—after-school bedtime by yourself five days a week, that's gonna be tough too. Uh, so you've got situ—just that current situation doesn't sound like it'll change, but you're changing what you're bringing to it.Joanna: Yeah. Yeah. Um, if I can maybe just ask you, like, one more little thing?Sarah: Sure.Joanna: Maybe this is—it all comes back to, like, wanting a lot of connection, but this is also what kind of drains my battery. She constantly wants to, like, talk to me or ask me questions from, like, the time that she wakes up to the time that she goes to bed. And it will be—like, currently it's, like, “Would you rather.” It's like, “Would you rather eat all the food in the world or never eat again?” Uh-huh. In the past it's been, like, “Guess what's in my mouth?” But then she always really tries to make it—make me wrong in the circumstance, if that makes sense. Like, I don't know if that's just her, like, looking for power or, like, the upper hand, or like—I don't know. I'm not sure what it is.Sarah: Well, I mean, if you feel—if you have a sense that she's looking for power, I would bring that into the roughhousing—where you are the one who's weak and bumbling and idiotic, and, you know, you're so slow, and she beats you every time at a race. So I would really try to bring some of that—some of that stuff into your roughhousing where she gets to be—Do you know the kind of stuff I'm talking about? Like, “I bet you can't—um, you know, I bet you can't beat me at arm wrestling,” and then, like, you know, you flop your arm over in a silly way, and like, “How are you so strong? Like, I'm gonna beat you next time.” And it's obviously playful, because probably you are stronger than she is at this point, but, you know—feats of strength or speed, or, you know, figuring things out, and you act like you really don't know anything. And—but in, of course, in a joking way, so she knows that you're not—you know, you're pretending to be all these things, but she still gets to gloat and, like, “Ha, you know, I'm the strongest, I'm the best.” So really giving her that in roughhousing.And then also, like, real power. Like, I don't know if she gets to make—what kinds of decisions she gets to make, or, you know, how much—how flexible you are on limits. Because sometimes, as parents, we do set unnecessary limits, which can make our kids, you know—make them look for power in other ways. So really looking at what limits you're setting and if they're necessary limits, and—and how you're setting them. Uh, and also I think it sounds like it's connection-seeking—like, she just wants you. You know, she wants to know that you're there and paying attention to her. And so everything else that you're doing—that we're talking about—that you're gonna try to do more—more time with her and get more one-on-one time with her, hopefully that will help too.And I think it is okay to say, like, after you've done, like, 25 “would you rathers,” I just say—like, I used to say to my kids, “You know what? My brain is just feeling really stimulated from so many words. Like, can we have some quiet for a few minutes?” And not—and being very careful to not phrase it like, “You're talking too much,” or “I don't wanna listen to—” and I'm exaggerating for effect—but just framing it as, like, your brain and a regulation thing—like, “My brain,” and it is words. Yeah. And so, like, “Do you—should we put some music on?” You know, “Can we—like, think of—can you connect in a way that—let's listen to a story.” Okay. Something like that where you still, like, keep up connection with her, but—and it might not work. She—she might not be able to stop talking, but you can try it at least.Joanna: No, that's a—that's a really good suggestion. Almost like replacing it with some other kind of stimulation if she's looking for that in that moment.Sarah: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So I think—I think it's just—I think it's fair. Like, it's totally—I, at the end of the day, with people, like, talking at me all day, I sometimes am like—you know, when my kids were younger, I'd be like, “Okay, you know, I—I just need a little—my brain needs a little bit of a break. It's feeling overstimulated.” So I think just using that language with her.Joanna: Okay. Okay. Great. Thank you. Well—Sarah: Yeah, I think you're—you know, I think that I've—that we've connected at a point where you're, like, at—you're, like, at the—sort of the top of a mountain, you know? And you've been, like, having all this struggle and uphill battles. And I think you've put—before even we talk—you've put a lot of pieces [together] of what—you know, why some of the challenges were. And they do seem to be connection—you know, connection-based, just in terms of, um, you know, her wanting more and you not being as resourced. And so hopefully working on connection is gonna help with that too.Joanna: Yeah. I'm gonna keep that at top of mind.Sarah: And your self-regulation too. You said you're—you know, you've been having—you're more resourced now than you ever have been, so you're able to work on really staying, like, calm and compassionate in those times when she's dysregulated. Going back to what I said in the beginning, which is that, you know, the steps for the meltdowns really start with our own regulation.Joanna: And I find it's a snowball effect too, because once you start seeing positive changes, it allows you to, like, rest in knowing that things will not always be so hard.Sarah: Yeah. So it—Joanna: It gives you motivation to keep going, I think.Sarah: Totally. And, you know, with complex kids—which it sounds like your daughter is one of those more complex kids—um, brain maturity makes such a huge difference. Um, like, every month and every year as she's starting to get older. And, you know, you mentioned ADHD—that you—that you suspect that she might be ADHD. ADHD kids are often around three years behind, um, in terms of what you might expect for them in terms of, like, their brain development. And not—and not across the board. But in terms of, like, their regulation, in terms of what they can do for themselves, um, like in—you know, and obviously every kid is different. But it really helps to think about, um, your ADHD kids as sort of, uh, developmentally younger than they are. My—my girlfriend who has—her son and my daughter are the same age, so they're both just starting college or university this year. And, um, she was—I—she lives in California, and I was talking to her, and her son has ADHD, and she was talking about how much support he's still needing in first-year college and how she was feeling a little bit like, “Oh, I feel like I shouldn't be supporting him this much when he's 18.” And—and she said, “Actually, I just re—you know, I always remind myself of what you told me a long time ago: to think of him as three years younger than he is in some ways,” and that that's made her feel a little bit better about the scaffolding that she's having to give him.Joanna: Yeah, I've never heard that before. That's good. She's also gonna be starting to work with an OT in a couple of weeks, so we'll see if that has any effect as well.Sarah: Cool.Joanna: Cool.Sarah: Alright, well, I look forward to catching up with you in around maybe three weeks or a month and seeing how things went, and, um, good luck, and I hope this was helpful and gave you some things to work on.Joanna: Okay. Thank you so much.Sarah: Hi Joanna. Welcome back to the podcast.Joanna: Hi Sarah.Sarah: So—how has—it's been about—I think it's been about four weeks since we talked the first time. How have things been?Joanna: Yeah, things I think have been going a little better. Like, every day is a little bit different. We definitely have, like, a lot of ups and downs still, but I think overall we're just on a better trajectory now. Um, it's actually—I was wondering if things—if, like, the behavior has actually been better, or if it's more just, like, my frame of mind.Sarah: That is the classic question because—it's so funny, I'm—I'm laughing because so much of the time when I'm coaching parents, after a couple of sessions they'll say, “This isn't even about my kids. This is all about me.” Right.Joanna: Yeah, it really, really is and just continues to be about, like, my own—not just frame of mind, but, like, my own self-regulation. That's always the biggest thing.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: Um, I think the biggest challenge is, like—ever since, like, about six months ago, I just have had really bad PMS. So I find, like, the week before—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: I just feel so irritated by everything.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: So I feel like that's a really—just so much more of a challenging time because then things that normally don't bother me are bothering me a lot more.Sarah: Right.Joanna: And then it's harder to keep that connection strong.Sarah: Totally. Yeah. And you also—as we mentioned last time—you have come off of a whole bunch of different events of, you know—we talked your daughter's premature birth, and then COVID, and then the new baby. And the new baby—you know, you're not sleeping that much, and, um, all of those things would make it also have your resources be low. Like, not only the PMS, but, like, anything that puts a tax on us—on our resources—is gonna make us more irritable.Joanna: Totally. And—but I'm really trying to lean into having a lot more compassion for myself, because I know that when I do that, I can have a lot more compassion for her and, mm-hmm, whatever's going on that she's bringing to the table too. So that's—that's, I think, probably the biggest thing. But I think that our relationship is just starting to have a lot more resilience—like, when things do start to go sideways, either she or I—we're able to kind of get back on track a lot more quickly than before, and it doesn't become as, like, entrenched.Sarah: That's awesome. And we—we talked last time about trying to get some more time with her so that the only time that she has with you isn't just at bedtime when you're trying to get her to go to bed. Have you been able to do that, and has it—do you think that's been helping?Joanna: Yeah. It depends. Like, we had a really busy weekend this past weekend, so not as much. And then I find that sometimes, like, a barrier to that is, like, by the time the weekend finally comes, I'm so depleted and really just, like, needing time for myself. As much as I'm like, “Okay, I need to spend one-on-one time with her,” I'm like, “I don't want to—I just, like, be by myself for a little while.” So it's—Sarah: I hear that.Joanna: It's always that—like, yeah, it's always that balancing act. And then, like, feeling guilty of, like, “Okay, no, I know I should want to hang out with her,” and I kind of just don't really.Sarah: Mm-hmm. No, you're—you're totally not alone. And it's funny that you just—you mentioned self-compassion and then you said, “I feel guilty 'cause I—I don't wanna hang out with her,” but we all—the theme so far in this five minutes is that, um, you know, what you're bringing to the—what you're bringing to the relationship has been improving. Like you said, your mindset has shifted, and that's helping things with her. So even if you're not getting time independently with her—and hopefully you can work towards that after you fill your own cup—but you're still helping things with her by getting time to yourself.Joanna: True. Yeah, because then I'm coming back just a much better, happier—yes—parent and person.Sarah: Totally.Joanna: Oh, thank you. That's helpful.Sarah: Yeah, and the—and I think you've—you know, you've touched—just in these few minutes—you've touched on two big things that I always say: if you can't really take these two things to heart, it'll be really hard to be a successful peaceful parent. And one is what you said—the mindset shift, you know, of how you see her behavior with, you know, that children are doing the best they can. You know, they're not giving us a hard time; they're having a hard time. And the other one is self-compassion. So making strides in both of those areas will really help you be that parent that you wanna be.Joanna: Yeah. And even though we're maybe not getting huge chunks of time individually, I am really trying to make the most of, like, those little moments—Sarah: Good.Joanna: —of connection. Yeah. So even, like—what we've started doing is, because my husband's on night shift, he is waking up with her in the morning because she has a really hard time in the morning. So now he's sort of with her, getting her ready in the morning. And then I am—like, we used to all walk to the bus together because my son likes to go too. But now my husband's hanging back with my son, so now I'm just walking her to the bus. And even though it's five minutes, it's like we're holding hands. She's able to tell me—Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: —you know, talking about whatever.Sarah: That's still—that—that totally counts. That's—and that also, um, that also takes care of something we talked about last time too, which is your husband and your son having more time together, um, so that the nights that—when your husband is home—maybe he can put your son to bed and start trying to shift that dynamic. So yeah. That's amazing that you're doing—that. Yeah, I think that's a great shift—walking to her—to the bus by herself.Joanna: And I think it—it actually makes a huge difference. You know, before it was like she would just kind of get on the bus and not really look back, and now she's, like, giving me a hug and a kiss and waving—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: —waving in the window. So, like, I can see that it's having a positive effect right away.Sarah: You could even leave five minutes earlier than you have to and have—turn that five minutes into ten minutes.Joanna: I would love to do that. It's always just—like, it's really hard to get to the bus on time as it is. We will work toward that though.Sarah: I hear that. Well, if you did try to leave five minutes earlier then it might be more relaxed, even if you didn't even have any extra time, but you were just, like—leave, you know, change your whole morning back five minutes and try to get out five minutes early.Joanna: Yeah. Yeah. True. So I think that we had talked a lot about roughhousing last time too—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: —and I do find that that's—that's really—it works well for her, but I run into this really specific problem where when, uh, like, we start roughhousing, and then she's enjoying it, but then my son wants to get in the mix—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Joanna: —and then right away she's like, “No, like, get outta here.” So then she'll start kind of, like, pushing him or, like, throwing kicks or something. So—and then he gets upset because he's like, “Mom! Mom!” So then I end up sort of, like, pinned underneath both of them—Sarah: Right.Joanna: —they're mad at each other, hitting each other—Sarah: Oh no.Joanna: —they both want me.Sarah: Well, maybe—maybe don't do it then if that's how it ends up. But I do have a couple of shifts that might help before you give up on it when you're alone with them. One is, do you ever try to do those “two against you”? Like, start it out right from the get-go—“You two against Mommy. See if you can—see if you can—” Um, it's funny you just said you end up pinned down because that's what I often say. Like, “See if you can stop Mommy from getting up,” or “See if you can catch me,” or, you know, trying to align the two of them against you. That might help.Joanna: Yeah, I love that idea. Never thought about that. Yeah, I think she would love that.Sarah: Yeah. So, “Okay, you two are a team, and you have to try to stop me from jumping on the bed,” or “You know, you—you have to stop me from getting to the bed,” or, you know, something like that.Joanna: Okay, I'm gonna try that. I think that they'll love it.Sarah: Yeah. Another idea is, um, what I call “mental roughhousing,” where you're not doing, like, physical stuff, but you're being silly and, like, um—I think I mentioned her last time to you, but A Playful Heart Parenting—Mia—W—Walinski. She has a lot of great ideas on her Instagram—we'll link to that in the show notes—of, like, different, um, like, word things that you can do. When I say mental roughhousing, it's like getting everyone laughing without being physical.Joanna: Mm-hmm.Sarah: Uh, which—you know, the goal of roughhousing is to get everyone laughing, and sometimes being physical might not work. But you can—like, I'll give you an idea. This isn't from Mia, but this is something that I used to do with my kids. Like, you know, one of you—you're like—you say to JR, “Oh—where did your sister go?” And she's sitting right there. “She was just here a minute ago. Where did Jay go? I don't see her. What happened to her? She disappeared.” And meanwhile she's like, “I'm right here! I'm right here!” You know—something like that that's more of, like, a—more of a mental roughhousing.My kids and I used to play this game that actually my brother-in-law invented called Slam, where, like, you both say a word at the same time. Um, so, like—I'm just looking around my—like, you know, “curtain” and, you know, “lemonade.” Uh, and then it's like—you both say it—both—you both say your word at the same time. And that actually wasn't a very funny one—kids come up with much funnier ones than I do—but it's like, “Is that, like, a lemonade that is made out of curtains, or is it a—what—” It's such a dumb example now that I think of it, but—but—or is it, like, a curtain that hides the lemonade? And so you just try and—like, you think of silly things that the two words together—the two words “slam” together—mean.Joanna: Okay, great. That's—that's on my next book—that's on my next thing to read. You—man—you keep mentioning—what is it? Playful—Playful Heart Parenting? She has an—I—Sarah: There was a book—there was a book too. And—Joanna: Oh—Sarah: Playful Parenting—the Larry Cohen book.Joanna: The Larry Cohen book, yeah.Sarah: Yeah.Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: That's a great book. Yeah, and he was on my podcast too, so you could listen to that. We'll also link to—Mia was on my podcast, and Larry was—so we'll link to both of those in the show notes as well.Joanna: Okay, great. I may have listened to one of those, but—yeah. Okay. Yeah.Sarah: And Playful Parenting is really great for also talking—and, like, Mia is just straight up, like, how to be more playful in life and to, you know, make more joy in your family kind of thing. And Larry talks about how to be more playful to also support your child through transitions and through big emotions and different things—like, it's a—it's a little bit more, um, like, all-around parenting—Playful Parenting.Joanna: Okay.Sarah: But it is different.Joanna: Yeah. I used to have a really hard time getting the kids upstairs to start the bedtime routine. And now it's like—I'll be like, “Okay, I'm gonna hide first,” and, like, I go upstairs and hide and we start—Sarah: Oh, I love that.Joanna: —we play hide-and-seek, and—Sarah: Oh yeah, it was a stroke of genius one day, and it's been working so well just to get everyone, like, off the main floor and—Joanna: —upstairs.Sarah: I'm gonna totally steal that idea. That's such a good idea. Yeah, because you could also send them up—“Okay, go hide upstairs and I'll come and find you.” And then you could do a round of you hiding. And I love that. That's a great idea. Yeah.Joanna: And I especially love hide-and-seek for sometimes when I need, like, 30 seconds by myself in a dark closet—Sarah: —to, like, take a breath.Joanna: That's great.Sarah: I love it. I love it. Yeah, it's—that's so great.As I mentioned before, I forgot to ask Joanna for an update about a few things. So here's the update about breastfeeding her son in the night.Sarah: Okay.Joanna: Hi, Sarah. So, in terms of the night-weaning, um, I haven't gone ahead and done anything about that yet just because he does have his last molars coming in and has been sick. So I want to wait until he's well and pain-free to kind of give us our best chance at getting that off on the right foot. But I have really realized that because he's my last baby, that this is really the last little home stretch of being woken up by a baby at night—specifically to nurse. So that's helped me kind of reduce my feelings of resentment toward it.Sarah: I love that Joanna zoomed out and looked at the big picture and the fact that this is her last baby, and used that to sort of just change her mindset a little bit and make it a little bit easier to continue on with something when she knew it wasn't the right time to stop. And now here is her update about bedtime with her daughter. And for this, I love that she got preventive—you'll see what I mean—and also playful. Those are two really great things to look at when you're having any struggles with your kids: like, how can I prevent this from happening? And also, how can I be playful when it is happening and shift the mood?Joanna: And in terms of bedtime with my daughter, we've made a couple of schedule changes to set us off on a better foot once I get back together with her after putting my son to bed. So I think we used to have a lot of conflict because it was like she was still asking for another snack and then hadn't brushed her teeth, and then it was just kind of getting to be too late and I was getting short on patience. So now we have, like, a set snack time where everybody has a snack, and I let them know, like, “This is the last time that we're eating today,” and then we're going upstairs—using hide-and-seek, like I mentioned—and then just really continuing to be playful in all doing our bedtime tasks together.So, for example, I'm saying, like, “Okay, I'm gonna go into my room and put my pajamas on. Can you guys go get your PJs on—and then don't show me, but I have to guess what pajamas you have on?” So she really loves that because, like I mentioned, she loves to get me to guess things. But also she's then helping her brother get ready for bed, and he's far more cooperative with her than with me in terms of getting his pajamas on. So it all works really well.Yeah, and then just kind of continuing to be silly and playful is really helping with brushing teeth—it's like, “Who can make the silliest faces in the mirror?” and stuff. So, really kind of moving through all those tasks together so that by the time I'm out of the room and ready to put her to bed, everything's done, and we can just get into playing cards and then snuggling and chatting and—and leaving from there after maybe a five- or ten-minute snuggle. So there's been way fewer meltdowns at the end of the night because we are able to just not get in this place where we're getting into power struggles in the first place. It's just really all about, like, the love and connection at the end of the day.Sarah: The final thing I wanted to check in with you about is—you were asking about the meltdowns. You know, when Jay gets really upset and, you know, how to—um—how to manage those. Have you had any chances to practice what we talked about with that?Joanna: Yeah, she actually had a really, really big, long, extended meltdown yesterday, and, um, I just continue to not really feel like I'm ever supporting her in the way that she needs supporting. Like, I don't—I always end up feeling like I'm not—I'm not helping. I don't know. It's just a really, really hard situation.Sarah: I was just talking to a client yesterday who—who actually wanted to know about supporting her child through meltdowns, and I said, “Well, what would you want someone to do for you?” You know—just kind of be there. Be quiet. You know, offer a—you know, rub the—rub your back—rub her back. I mean, I don't know exactly what your child wants, but I think that's a good place to start if you feel like you're not being successful—like, “Well, what would I want if this was happening to me?”Joanna: And I think that really—that's enough, right? It's enough—Sarah: Oh, totally.Joanna: —to be there. And it always—maybe I'm just feeling like it's not enough because we don't really even get, like, a good resolution, or, like, even—eventually it just kind of subsides, right?Sarah: If you were having a meltdown, that's what would happen. Nobody can come in there and fix it for you.Joanna: Um, exactly.Sarah: Nobody can come in and say the magic words that's gonna make you not feel upset anymore. So it's really just about that—being there for somebody. And we're—it's not that the resolution is “I fixed their problems.”Joanna: Yeah.Sarah: The resolution is “I was there with them for the journey.”Joanna: Yeah. And it goes back to what you were saying, where it's like, “Oh, this work really is just about me.”Sarah: Yeah, totally.Joanna: And learning how to show up.Sarah: And not feeling anxious when your child is upset and you're like, “I don't know what to do,” and just think, “Okay, I just have to be
This week's episode doesn't really have a theme—and that's kind of the beauty of it. Hannah and Barbi settle in for one of their classic heart-to-hearts, chatting about a little bit of this and a little bit of that. From funny stories to random thoughts, it's a perfectly “Mom and Hannah” kind of conversation—real, relaxed, and full of laughter. Think of it like sitting at the kitchen table with family and just letting the talk flow.
Send us a textHave you ever been asked, "What is your calling?" In Episode 344, Dr. Arianna Molloy, author of "Healthy Calling: From Toxic Burnout to Sustainable Work," shares her research and helps us answer that question from a beautiful place of understanding and maturity.In this episode, we reframe calling as a living relationship with God, grounded in community and guided by humility, rest, and gratitude. I also unveil a new monthly format that helps us metabolize ideas, practice spiritual skills, and cultivate sustainable rhythms.Drawing from Dr. Arianna's work on healthy calling, we unpack a practical triad for a sustainable life of purpose: dialogue with God that starts our mornings, interaction that turns trust into action, and maintenance that gently course‑corrects when we drift. We name the third key player—community—and show how burnout ripples outward, while healthy rhythms multiply good in every direction. Along the way, we get honest about enforced rest, health scares, and the sobering gift of learning to move from rest rather than toward it.Humility anchors the conversation. Not self‑erasure, but clear awareness of strengths and weaknesses without fixation. Not hustle, but a lifestyle of learning and the courage to unplug. Gratitude then becomes humility in motion—remembering whose we are, who we are, and who is in charge. Visit Dr. Arianna Molloy's website: Learn MoreOrder Dr. Arianna's book: Healthy CallingWatch Dr. Arianna: Meaningful Work; Should You Put Your Phone Down?; What it Means to Walk Humbly With God; More Than Just a JobSupport the showSupport the showBegin Your Heartlifter's Journey: Visit and subscribe to Heartlift Central on Substack. This is our new online coaching center and meeting place for Heartlifters worldwide. Download the "Overcoming Hurtful Words" Study Guide PDF: BECOMING EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY Meet me on Instagram: @janellrardon Leave a review and rate the podcast: WRITE A REVIEW Learn more about my books and work: Janell Rardon Make a tax-deductible donation through Heartlift International
Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 26 A New Student (tribal) Council In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels. If you can't look in a mirror and laugh at yourself, cut off the light "Can we put other restrictions on you?" Simone Brady prodded. "This is not the 'Zane' show," Virginia Goodswell interjected. "We need to decide when the new Student government will meet, I suggest Tuesday nights, and how we are going to conduct business." "We can start by deciding where we meet," Chastity spoke up. "I vote for Zane's place." "What's wrong with the Assembly Hall, where we've always met?" Rhaine countered. "Rhaine, you are drinking a Doctor Pepper, KayLeigh, you are drinking a grape juice, and Joy was eating a bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup when I got here," Hope snickered. "You have hot plates and microwaves too, if needed." Rhaine, Joy, and KayLeigh, all Traditionalists, looked guilty. They also looked like they treasured their creature comforts because they weren't running for the door. "It is a nice place," KayLeigh admitted. "And you don't get to come back up here otherwise," Rio grinned evilly. "This floor is devoted to the freshman class." "There are a lot of upperclassmen up here right now," Rhaine pointed out. "Those are what you would call 'friends'," Rio sneered. "If you weren't freaking evil, you might have some." "Please don't put it that way," I requested of Rio. Rio had every reason to be cranky. Mercy looked even more exhausted sitting at her side. "Zane will arrange the room to fit your needs," Christina finally spoke, "I guarantee it." "You think you can control him?" Rhaine shot back. "I'm not afraid of him; he's not some wild beast. I ask him to do things for me and he does," Christina chided Rhaine. "He is like any other freshman; it is that simple." "He's rather mouthy for a freshman," Hannah joked. "Well, maybe if you put my mouth to other uses," I bantered back. There was a moment of silence followed by Dana Gorman taking up her bottled water and walking over to me. She smiled down at my seated form while she poured out the remaining water onto my crown. "Cool off, Casanova," Dana cautioned me playfully before returning to her seat. "Exactly why do you keep her around again?" Rio slapped my shoulder. "Can you imagine how insufferable Christina would be if Coach didn't keep her in line?" I smiled. Christina rolled her eyes while Rio chuckled. Virginia stood up and cleared her throat. "I want to make sure that all the ladies, plus Zane, plan to make this experiment work. It is rather pointless to proceed if any of you can't be honest now," Virginia, my Spiritual Advisor, poled the audience. Most of the girls looked around to see who would do what but no one jumped. "I think it is safe to say that we students will stay true to the Vice Chancellor's plan, though this is not an endorsement of Zane, his conduct, or even his continued presence here," Rhaine spoke for the group. "With that settled, we can call it a night," Doctor Kennedy declared. "Ladies, consider what issues we need to deal with so we can bring them up next Tuesday night, 9 pm." "Who do we send the itinerary to?" Simone inquired. "Zane," Hudson Lane volunteered me. "I nominate Faith De Young (of Christina's inner circle) to be our Secretary of Record, if she wants the job," I said. Faith looked completely taken off-guard but nodded quickly. "I'll do it," she made clear. The meeting broke up soon after with most of the student leadership departing. Dana, Hudson, and Christina & company hung around a little longer. "Not the Glamorous Gremlin?" Rio teased me on my choice of Secretary. She gasped and nearly fell over right after that. Iona smiled softly and shook her head. She realized that she was still a freshman and her day would come. "Ah, here's one of the controllers," Heaven gave a devilish smile as she handed the device over to Rio. Miraculously, the other three sexual wonders were also handed over, ending the threat of torture for the day. "I see a spanking machine in you bitches' future," Rio snarled at Chastity, Hope, Heaven, Faith, and Christina. "I swear, I tried to get one of those damn things all day long," Valarie griped. "You would think that after setting this up, someone would have given me one, but no, I am a freshman so I don't get to play the game." "It was you!" Rio screamed, and lunged at Valarie, who comically batted her away as Vivian and Mercy intervened. "Yes," Val laughed, "but it was Iona who figured out how to have captured your days by enlisting the aid of classmates with video phones. I can tell today's footage is going to be a classic." "Why did you do it?" Vivian asked Valarie. "I had revenge on Rio and made Mercy ecstatically happy; it was a win-win," Val grinned vindictively. It was a credit to Rio's berserk nature that no one asked what Rio had done to warrant revenge; everyone automatically assumed that Valarie was justified. "Everyone's sympathy is under-whelming," Rio grumbled. "Come on, Mercy, let's get these things off." "Do we have to?" Mercy pleaded softly. Hell, I imagine she could barely stand but apparently, her limit to sexual overstimulation was unconsciousness. Rio used one finger to hook Mercy's collar and pulled her close. "How dare you talk back," Rio whispered, but I was close enough to hear. "I was going to settle for the vibrating nipple clamps that arrived today but now I'm thinking a few dozen paddle blows, to each cheek, are in your future, you annoying little bitch." Annoying was Mercy and Rio's code word for 'love'; Rio simply couldn't stand the 'L' word. "Vibrating nipple clamps?" Christina was both confused and amused. "Where do you people come up with this stuff?" "Adam and Eve," Rio shot back without batting an eye. "Wait until I have Mercy's nipples and lips pierced; then the real fun begins." "I don't think Mercy should have her lips pierced," Vivian suggested forcefully. "They'd be glaringly obvious." Rio groaned and sighed. "Not those lips," Rio clarified. "The other ones, you know, labia, cunt lips, cunt etc." There was a pregnant pause in the room. "Attach vibrator wires to those bad boys and Wow! Let the magic begin." Mercy and Rio really were made for each other; they were both salivating at the prospect. Thankfully, I saw Cassandra hovering around and looking ready for me to start playing towel boy. "Ladies, one last duty to perform and then my day is done," I attempted my exit. "Zane, is it alright if I spend the night?" Hope ambushed me. "Of course," I smiled, because I'm a fucking idiot who is an embarrassment to the very concept of the mentally challenged and a parody of every teen boy date flick. I was already spending time with Iona, Paige, Barbie Lynn, and now Hope. Maybe I can find a way to have a secret government space array shoot an earthquake laser at my feet so a pit opens up underneath me and I plummet to a fiery death at the Earth's core. Maybe I watch too much bad TV. "Iona, did my Viagra arrive yet," I teased my buddy. "I'm going to need a pill tonight." "Oh, Zane, I don't think we have any but I'll go online and see what I can get for you," Iona replied in all seriousness. "I know some guys who smuggle them in from Mexico," Valarie offered. "I'll make some calls." "That is so cool!" Barbie Lynn clapped her hands. "Now he'll never go down. I can ride him all night long." She hugged me while a fearful vision of my desiccated, sperm-drained husk lying open-eyed and lifeless on my bed danced before my eyes. "Zane?" Cassandra called out. "Oh, yes, towel boy and bikini selection," I muttered. I gravitated her way, took her hand, and led her to my room. "What's that about?" Vivian mused. "Handmaiden's Duty," Iona informed the ladies. "He picks out a bikini for her and acts as pool boy while she's in the Jacuzzi." "I hope someone cleans that thing from time to time," Faith shuddered. "Every morning at ten o'clock it is drained and cleaned, and the filter cleaned every Monday," Iona droned on without even looking up. The rest of that exchange was lost as I retreated to my bedroom. What followed could be blamed on Cassandra accidently dropping her drink in the Jacuzzi and me having to retrieve it; it was an unopened soda can. Or maybe it could be blamed on the surprisingly conservative (for my room) white and black striped bikini she wore. Whatever was the catalyst, inside five minutes I had Cassandra out of her suit, front to front, her crotch pressing me against the side of the Jacuzzi with my head barely above water while she rode my face in a pattern and energy that reminded me of Hawaii's North Shore. Cassandra was pounding the back of my head against the wood wall as she drove her cunt over my lips and tongue again and again. "Oh, Baby, you are so much better than my fingers," she communicated with an erotic growl. "Keep it up, keep it up!" She was the one in the control of the sexual rhythm so I was not sure what else I might do but keep licking and sucking as hard as I could. I was finally able to run a hand along her chocolate flesh until I managed to push against her sternum and got her to roll her shoulders back. That allowed me to start massaging and stroking one of her breasts while my other hand got between her legs from behind and gently penetrated her cunt. "Za, za, za, Zane!" she screamed out. Note to self: Add earplugs to my Must Have List. Cassandra slathered my nose, lips, and chin with her rather scalding, light to the tongue and tasty fluids. If she wasn't still trying to give me a concussion with her hips I might have enjoyed it more. As her orgasm dissipated, she slid down my body with a sated sigh. Her legs were outside mine so as she descended, her cunt came to rest on my Speedo-encased cock. Saying that my cock was hard would be like saying snow is cold or the English love their soccer; pretty much a given. Her eyes grew wide when she realized where she rested. She's a senior and a virgin in a Christian Girl's school, she began humping me, of course. Being Cassandra, she began humping me hard and thumping her way to another climax. "Zane, I am totally rethinking you being allowed on campus," Cassandra panted. "Is this a good thing or a bad thing?" I wondered. At this time I had one finger lightly in her cunt as my other hand tenderly tweaked one of her nipples. "Oh, I think every junior and senior should have their own personal freshman boy to keep under control with a strong hand," she grinned while she kept working my rod over with her cunt. "Wouldn't it be nice if we developed a peaceful, platonic relationship based on mutual trust and respect?" I suggested hopefully. Cassandra gave a deep, throaty laugh. "You're funny, but no," she grinned evilly. "After all, if that was the case, I couldn't do this: Zane, suck my other nipple, suck it hard, while I play with your fat phallus." Oh yeah, I love the way this is going (insert internalized weeping). She worked out my cock painfully fast and began rubbing it deeply between her labia, to the point I felt the tightness of her vaginal walls on my cockhead. "Zane, you know a whole lot about the sex stuff," she stated. "What's a cock ring?" Oh, HELL No! I have enough difficulty ejaculating as is. The last thing I need is something that allows another to make the prospects of my ejaculation even dimmer. "It's a device, a ring, that is placed over the base of the cock to restrict blood flow, thus allowing longer erections," I grudgingly confessed. "Thinking about getting one, as a Christmas present, for someone out of state?" "So, you could have intercourse, for a long time, and not ejaculate, so a girl would be, safe, in fucking you raw?" Cassandra's voice was becoming more strained. "Technically, yes, but a little music, some hand-holding, and dinner at McDonald's would suffice in getting me aroused," I tried to explain. "There is no need for, something like that." "Zane, clearly God put you, on this campus as a test for, true believers," Cassandra related, "And every woman here needs, to be tested, A Lot!" she screamed out her second orgasm of the night. My hands raced down to grab each luscious buttock before her spasms caused her to slip down my cock and make her virginity a thing of the past. When my cock slapped against my stomach, I held Cassandra tight until she calmed down. "You need to stay on campus during the weekends," Cassandra moaned with content exhaustion, "so we can use you more often." "Why do you think I flee campus every weekend?" I thought. If she had her way, I'd be walking around with an IV in my arm and popping Viagra like M&M's. I chose life! If you think I am a coward, step up and take my place. I'll sneak back into the cemetery at night and put a flower on your headstone. You can take that permanent smile etched on your face to your grave, He-Man. "I have to ask: What brought this on?" I inquired. "I received one of Mercy's controls and we shared the next class," Cassandra confessed. "She glowed with such pleasure I thought she would pass out. I was suddenly curious." "I had nothing to do with that," I groaned. "I swear, it wasn't me." Cassandra placed one hand on each side of my face. "Zane, it wasn't you, I know that," she smiled, "but it is your presence that allowed something like that, her ability to experience that level of pleasure, that I want to experience. I have to go now. I need to report to the other girls what it was like so we can figure out what to do with you next." You know, if I had been paranoid, I would have been right, people are plotting against me. Cassandra stood up and stepped onto the bench so that I was once more facing her puffy, somewhat abused cunt lips before she swung one leg over me and exited the tub. I closed my eyes and let my head hang over the side, facing up. "Towel boy," Cassandra taunted me. I looked at her. Cassandra was dripping wet and she was extending a towel my way. I pulled my own tired ass out of the Jacuzzi and tenderly buffed her excellent body until she was dry. She gave me one last kiss, dressed, and virtually skipped out of my domain, happy, arrogant and plotting my demise. I cleaned up, dealt with the Jacuzzi, and took in my surroundings. The only witnesses to my congress and conversation with Cassandra were Dana Gorman and Hudson Lane, my voyeuristic adult female 'friends'. Dana pulled me over as I walked passed her. Hudson Lane had gone off to get some drinks. "You and Gabrielle, ?" "You have no respect for my survival instincts, do you?" I chuckled. "Not really," Dana smirked. "Fine," I groaned in feigned annoyance. "She wanted to talk so we talked, nothing else happened." "She beat you up, didn't she?" Gorman persisted. Another deep sigh on my part came out before I confessed, "Yes. Why do you ask?" "I wanted to smack you around from the first day I met you," Dana laughed. "I think Ms. Black has done admirably not beating you black and blue before now." "Has yet another girl beaten Zane up?" Hudson angled around to sit next to Dana. "The consistency of the femdom attitudes at this school is frightening." "Don't throw stones, Ms. Lane," Dana warned her. "You, Zane, and Ms. Messier, the lawyer Ms. Buchanan hired to help Zane when he went to jail, I was head of security when it happened and I know when Ms. Messier arrived on campus, where she stayed, and when she, and you, left this dorm." "You never said anything to Chancellor Bazz?" Hudson worried. "No," Dana responded. "You three are adults, and ruining your career here wouldn't have made expelling Zane any easier. I wasn't the sex police." "Thank you," Hudson smiled. "I now have another reason to be happy Zane championed your cause with the Board of Directors." She touched Dana on her thigh. "It's not going to happen, Lane," Dana informed the lawyer while opening her V-8. "I've had a long time to figure out that I'm not attracted to women." Wow, Dana knew that Hudson was bi-sexual and didn't care. That was another big plus for Dana in my book. "That's what Brigitte Messier thought as well," Hudson winked. "It turns out a little bit of Zane goes a long way to loosening up a girl's morals and expanding their horizons." "I repeat, it is not going to happen," Dana shook her head. "Zane's a student and I'm a teacher. Perhaps the day he graduates, I'll kidnap him for a long, frustration-relieving weekend. I haven't had sex in eight years and watching him work really stresses my resolve." "You could always join me in the hot tub," I offered. I wasn't sure how serious I was. I also wasn't sure how bad a concussion Cassandra had given me. "Zane, do you have any idea of what I would do to you if I focused all my pent up sexual fury onto that body of yours?" Dana threatened. I gulped. "Does it start with me tying you down?" I suggested sweetly. Hudson was looking really intrigued by this. I was beginning to believe she had this erotic attraction to 'turning' straight girls, most likely mirroring her own Law School experiences. "What do you think?" she glared. Dana was becoming seriously aroused. "I guess my only other question is if I can outrun you," I joked. Dana kept staring. "Zane," Hudson snickered, "do you realize that your swimsuit is basically transparent when wet?" "No, I didn't," I gulped once more. My package was less than a foot from Dana's lips. "Sorry, I'll be going to bed now," I backed up. "That's a really nice ass," Dana sighed as I turned away. "It is even nicer to touch," Hudson commented. "It's not happening, Lane," Dana grumbled. "Oh, you will come around," Hudson Lane laughed softly. "I have faith in Zane." Dana growled in rebuttal. When I rounded the first cut-back leading to my bedroom, I heard and smelled sex, suddenly, sneaking off to Gabrielle Black's place and hiding out for the night sounded like a good idea, barring her killing me, of course. I sorted out the noises as I moved around until the room came into full view. Reminder number one: Check the God Damn air filters! Where the fuck do I begin? On the far side of the bed, Mercy was on her knees, head down on a pillow with her painfully ecstatic face looking toward me. That was how I could tell she had been gagged. Her wrists were handcuffed behind her back, she was moaning and sweating up a storm, and her whole aura emanated with tantric excitement. In case you might be wondering where her Mistress was: Rio was straddling Mercy's back, ass resting on Mercy's neck (by the tension in her thighs, Rio wasn't pressing down hard thankfully) and facing her playmate's highly vulnerable posterior. "Hold out a little longer, my slut," Rio egged Mercy on quietly as she paddled those beautiful exposed ass cheeks, apparently in a random fashion. And now it gets weird(er): Behind Mercy, facing Rio, wielding a strap-on with firm, slow, and steady strokes, was Paige. For the love of the Almighty, should I be quarantined as an immorality contagion? It wasn't like Paige was an angel but she was taking a few giant steps to proficiently wielding an artificial cock into a bound girl's bunghole. The fact that Rio and Paige despised each other continued warping my perception of events. Barbie Lynn (farthest away in the closest group), Vivian, and Valarie were on the near side of the sheets. They weren't actually having sex but were talking in low voices with the occasional running of a hand through a companion's hair or tracing a finger from hip to thigh. It was sensual without being pornographic. It also appeared to be something they all three were enjoying. In the middle section of my sleeping platform (it is an awesomely big bed) was Iona and Hope, who were doing a little more than cuddling together in quiet conversation. Hope stroked Iona's head compassionately as Iona gently teased and suckled on Hope's left breast. Every ounce of my experience cried out to me that Iona had initiated the sexual contact. That boggled the mind, right up there with Hope allowing a near stranger such intimate contact. "Hey, Lover," Barbie Lynn gifted me with a sultry leer, "are you going to take that off or are you going to allow him to bust out on his own?" Bathing suit, cock, raging erection; got it. I yanked off my speedo fast enough to make my skin burn. I wrapped it up in a towel before tossing them in the clothes hamper. I quickly plotted out my journey, figuring out where I was supposed to end up. I was giving up the illusion that I controlled events because if I was created in God's image and that was the reason God wanted men to rule over women, then I think God was really Goddess and Heaven's soul had it right, change sides. Valarie gave me a fearless grin as I climbed over her on my way to the middle. She shifted so that her breasts swayed from side to side. I took in the view before kissing her and moving on. "Try to settle things down by eleven, Zane," Vivian requested. I nodded and then kissed the tip of her nose, which she returned by kissing my forehead. It was very motherly of her, barring the fact that the sheets barely covered her pubic region and every exposed bit of her looked scrumptious. My last hurdle was Barbie Lynn, and that was an obstacle in more than just the physical sense. She knew how to stretch and yawn just right for making my blood boil with lust and my vision cloud with desire. "You will come back to me, Zane," she said with brazen tenderness. "Now go on and take care of the others who need you now." Best Blonde Bombshell ever. As I settled behind Hope who was still facing Iona, I took it slow to let her instincts understand that I wasn't a threat but desirous of her. "What's going on here?" I inquired delicately. "Hope, I didn't think you liked Iona all that much? And Iona, you have become much more confident in the past month; I like it." "Zane, Iona is one of the bravest freshmen I've ever met. She's never backed down from a challenge and is smart enough to fight the battles she can win and send others to win the one's she can't," Hope explained. "I have admired her for some time." "I know you wanted Hope to be put at ease," Iona related. "She's surrounded by people she has minimal familiarity with. I reasoned that I could help her adjust by doing what you do." "Sexy, clever, lethal girls; this is definitely going on my Santa Wish List," I grinned. I was trying to settle in behind Hope when she wiggled around onto her back and indicated she wanted me to move between her and Iona. I was hardly in the mood to refuse and soon, both ladies were nestled in my arms. I was thinking about the next step when the situation around Mercy increased in energy and volume. Hope pushed halfway over my chest and Iona turned away from me so they could watch the proceedings. Mercy was shivering like a leaf in a thunderstorm. Rio moved up so that her face was inches away from Paige's. I could see Paige contemplating her next action before she leaned into Rio. They each placed a hand behind the other's head to keep them close as they kissed. "You smart-ass hooker," Rio snickered. "What flavor is that?" Mercy was cresting toward her orgasm unattended while Rio made small talk with Paige. "Mango, lip balm and mouth wash," Paige beamed triumphantly. Rio snorted. "Really start hammering the bitch," Rio ordered/requested. Paige nodded. She slowly drew back until only the tip of the fake phallus remained in Mercy's rectum before savagely slamming it all the way in as hard as she could. Mercy squealed through her gag and began to violently spasm. Rio dismounted Mercy and flopped beside her partner's head. "Don't you dare lose it, Cum-Bunny," Rio pressed Mercy. "Disappoint me and you will get nothing until the weekend. I won't let you touch anyone, even yourself. Are we clear?" Mercy sobbed and nodded while her body teetered on the precipice of total collapse. Paige was displeased with Mercy's resistance and began spanking her thighs and buttocks hard enough to leave imprints. Rio kept stroking Mercy's hair and urging her to hang on. At the pinnacle of the moment I knew Mercy could not go on, Rio spoke softly into her ear. "You annoying whore," she said, "I am so proud to be with you. Don't ever leave, now cum." Mercy's resulting climax was so powerful that her muscle spasms knocked Paige back on her heels knocking the strap-on mostly out of her ass. Mercy squirted, really squirted, onto Paige's lap, with even more juice shooting and coating Mercy's thighs and my sheets. Up front, Mercy was cursing up a storm through her gag, grinding the fabric between her teeth with tears streaming out of her clenched eyes. Before her thrashing subsided, Rio had pulled the gag off and was kissing her fiercely on the lips, again and again. Mercy curled into a ball and Rio immediately wrapped her arms and legs around her Sub, keeping her presence light but comforting. Rio saw our attention being directed their way and mouthed: 'Best Bitch Ever!' using her eyes to exaggerate the force of the words. Paige was still looking over the sticky mess that she had become. "Put the contraption to soak in the big sink and take a shower," I suggested. Paige could see no flaw in my suggestion so she gave me a wink, unstrapped the device, and made her way out of the room. When my eyes snapped back from watching a naked Paige exit, I saw that Hope's focus was on me. "That looked fun," Hope stated clinically. "It is not for me but it definitely looked like they all felt, cleaner in a spiritual sense when they were done. I would never have suspected. In fact, I thought being bound was debasing and weak." "It is called bondage and it is part of a sexual practice called BDSM, bondage, discipline, sadomasochism," I explained. "It definitely isn't for everyone, and certainly isn't as bizarre as Iona's furry fetish." "Zane," Hope glared, "I saw a CSI episode on furries and you can't be an Asian or Asian-American high school girl in the United States and not know about cosplay; Iona and I are not into either one of those lifestyles I'm pretty sure." While Hope was distracting me with her knowledge of other sexual subcultures, Iona snuck a hand beneath me and pinched my right ass cheek. "Ow," I jumped. "What was that for, Beautiful?" I pleaded to Iona. "I wanted to?" she responded meekly. "That sounds like a perfectly good reason to me," I smiled. I would be somewhat offended if it was someone else but Iona was special; like Rio, she would always have my back, but unlike my chaotic fiend, she never abused my trust (or so I thought). "Do me a favor?" Iona requested. "Sure, anything for you," I answered right off the bat. "Make her happy," Iona's eyes sparkled as the flickered to Hope. "Tickle my ear when you finish." "Sure," I sighed with feigned regret, "if I have to." "Thank you, Iona," Hope snorted in amusement, "I've got it from here." "Nite-nite," Iona yawned, then rolled over and pretended to drop off to sleep. Like that was going to happen anytime soon! "What no-, Hope got out before I rolled on top of her. I used one leg to wedge hers open, then settled between them as I lowered my body down. Hope looked at me quizzically. "Touch me wherever you like," I instructed. I showed her what I meant by kissing her cheek, then edging around to suck on her earlobe. Hope led off with her fingertips running along the muscles of my forearms and following a twisted trail up to my shoulders. With equal care, she began rubbing her toes along my calves, up to my knees and lower thighs. This had the added benefit of rotating her hips so that her pubic hair scratched along the veins of the base of my cock. "You know this is going to make field work with you far more difficult," Hope murmured. "Now you know what I've been going through for a month," I teased her back. "Now you know how I feel naked under your touch and so do I." "You touch yourself much?" Hope giggled. Iona did her best to smother her own mirthful reaction. "Maybe you should come to my bed more often to keep my hands otherwise occupied," I suggested. Hope arched her back, thrusting her breasts into my chest and laughed lyrically. "Touch ," Hope conceded. "I wondered if I was imposing on your hospitality, wanting to spend tonight with you. Now I'm feeling as if I've been lured in and seduced by your masculine wiles." "Zane, manipulating somebody!" Valarie gave a comedic gasp. "Well, there is always a first time for our ham-handed Lothario to launch a plot that doesn't involve him getting an extra fish stick for dinner." "Ham-handed," Barbie Lynn mused. "His fingers are smoking but hardly ham-like," which she emphasized by rubbing her hand over her crotch. "Do you often stick smoked country ham between your thighs, Barbie-Baby?" Valarie taunted. "Only when your magic tongue and fingers aren't available," Barbie Lynn volleyed right back. "Oh, you did not say that!" Valarie choked. She vaulted on top of Barbie Lynn and the two started wrestling. Vivian scooted toward the edge and fended off the combatants from rolling over her. "When we graduate and drag you back to our dungeon to live, are you going to miss other bed partners having these mid-coital conversations?" Hope smirked. "You underestimate your ability to focus my attention," I countered. When you are in bed with someone, you are in bed with THAT person, or so I believe. Hope's look sizzled, her body heated up, and she pulled me so close and tight, I couldn't make out any details beyond her eyes. "I hate them," Hope purred. "Who?" I worried. You don't want one good friend to hate another good friend. You really don't want a good friend with marksmanship skills out the ass not liking someone you have become attached to. "Christina and Heaven," she sighed, but I knew she wasn't serious. "Christina because you would rather be with her and Heaven because she has you." "Hope," I maneuvered so I could stroke her cheek, "I can't promise you or anyone else anything beyond this school year. Neither one of us qualifies as 'normal' by any definition of the word. I certainly like being with you, if that matters, and not just in bed. You are beautiful, intense, and serious in a way we shouldn't be." "Serious is not the most intimate of descriptions," Hope joked, "but I think I know what you mean. As chaotic as your life is, I think we balance each other out." I didn't need words to agree with that; I let us return to our game of touch, kiss, and lick. We were getting back into a playful tempo when the fight between Valarie and Barbie Lynn ended. There was no hot, spontaneous lesbian eruption; it devolved into Valarie having Barbie Lynn pinned with her wrists on the pillow held over her head. Valarie was trying to administer a 'Wet Willy' (sticking a finger, or tongue, into your opponent's ear) and finally succeeding. "I give, I give," squealed Barbie Lynn. "Anything, just stop." "Anything?" Valarie prodded suggestively. Barbie Lynn's very ample bosom heaved with each deep breath she took, which had the effect of rubbing them in circles against Valarie's dangling breasts. "Come with me to the Southwest this summer," Valarie demanded. Barbie Lynn was still giving it serious thought when Paige came traipsing back in, drying her hair. "Where in the Southwest?" Paige inquired. Valarie sat up on Barbie Lynn and looked over her shoulder at the albino lass. "West of Laredo, East of the Pacific, South of Denver and North of Mexico," Valarie answered. "Sant Fe, Vegas, the Painted Desert, places like that." I didn't see coming what happened next. "Valarie, would you consider allowing to me come along?" Paige asked politely. "You really want to impress Zane that much?" Valarie divined Paige's intention. "That, and he's most likely going with Rio as well," Paige responded, "so you are going to need all the help you can get." Rio didn't respond verbally, Mercy was still recovering, but glared with venom. "What do you add to our little expedition?" Valarie asked. "I'll do it," Barbie Lynn interjected. "I wasn't sure what I was going to do after graduation but seeing more of the world will do me good, and I hear it is cold in the desserts at night and I don't want Zane to catch a chill," she adds with a smile. "I speak Spanish, plus a strong understanding of electronics, botany, and computers," Paige continued with a twinge of annoyance toward Barbie. "Fine, both are in. We are getting our rides tomorrow afternoon at five," Valarie announced. "Zane," Hope whispered, "I appreciate the silence of our first date now more than ever." "We can go back to your place?" I offered. "Oh, Chastity would love that," Hope snickered playfully. "I'm afraid if you don't ravish her in the next few weeks, she is going to rape Heaven." "I'll keep that in mind, but right now I want to be where I am, with you," I kissed Hope's nose. "Can I try something, Zane?" Hope turned serious and introspective. "Of course," I said. "Paige, come over here with me," Barbie Lynn suggested. The blonde wiggled over so that Valarie fell to the far side and indicated that Paige should join her. "You only want to sex up my body," Paige accused Barbie Lynn, as she hopped onto the foot of the bed and put her fists defiantly on her hips. "But of course I do, Paige-shugah," Barbie Lynn licked her lips, "now get over here and give me a taste." "Oh. In that case, Paige scampered over and reclined next to the dynamite blonde. Barbie Lynn had a strong, subtly alluring persona while Paige was constantly aggressive. "A naked Paige Zeller sexual molesting an equally naked Barbie Lynn Masters will go down as yet another thing I never thought I'd see," Hope mused. "Be careful who you think is molesting who," I cautioned Hope. A few seconds later Paige shook and fluttered. Barbie Lynn had slid a stealthy hand between Paige's thighs. "Oh, someone's been a bad little kitty," Barbie Lynn cooed, "A bad, soaking wet little kitty." Paige hiccupped, then shuddered again. "Does kitty need to be petted," Barbie asked as she stroked Paige's love box, "or does kitty need to be spanked?" And Barbie Lynn spanked Paige's cunt lightly, making Paige jerk. "Master, I stand corrected," Hope nodded her head to me in respect of my sexual insight. "You wanted to do something?" I brought Hope back on track. "Yes, Zane, yes I did," Hope smiled. "Please lie on your back and close your eyes." It was my turn to nod as I complied with her wishes. She settled her haunches on my crotch and waited a moment. First was a kiss, followed in slow progression by a finger, nose, earlobe, toe, two fingers coated in her juices, two fingers coated in Paige's juices, a nipple (most likely the right), her other nipple coated in Barbie Lynn's juices, Valarie's tongue (given away by the movement toward me), Hope's tongue, her other big toe, and ending with her lips and tongue. The anticipation of what was coming next was fun. As Hope reclined on top of me, Mercy finally began to stir. "Were you a good little tramp tonight?" Rio panted hungrily at her partner. "Yes, I, was I?" Mercy rasped. She was fighting to stay awake, her fatigue a heavy burden to bear. "The Slut will say 'Yes Mistress; yes I was allowed to be good tonight'," Rio nuzzled Mercy's neck, ear, and jaw. "Yes, Mistress," Mercy purred. "My wonderfully annoying Mistress allowed me to be good tonight." Rio spanked Mercy's burning hot ass flank hard. Mercy flinched and cried out in pain. "Did I tell you to adlib, you annoying, frustrating skank," Rio taunted her, "or is my whore clever enough to sneak in an undeserved spanking?" Mercy buried her face in a pillow but I could swear she was smiling. "Nipple clamps for you in the morning, and I'm getting those bitches pierced on Saturday, got it?" Rio clarified the point by rolling each nipple between her forefinger and thumb. Mercy nodded but kept her face in the pillow. "Fine, let's get underneath the covers. Snuggle up with me to keep me warm, and you had better suckle my nipples. Rio took up her normal sleeping area, avoiding the wet spot, with Mercy at her side, her tongue playing with Rio's left nipple. "Mercy," Rio whispered. Mercy kept tongue-flicking the nipple but looked up. "You rock," Rio said even softer. Mercy pulled more of her weary body over Rio as the nipple play continued and Rio began stroking her paramour's hair lovingly. In that relationship, it was getting harder to determine who the 'better' half was. I searched around blindly for some lube, which had 'mystically' migrated under Barbie Lynn's pillow. "Hope, put some oil on my cock and on your ass cleft," I told my Korean princess. She barely broke her iron mask of indifference before taking the bottle and doing as directed. I caught sight of Valarie, Vivian, and Barbie Lynn all peeking my way. I imagined it was the curiosity about my apparent decision to 'break' Hope in anally. "Hope, point my cock up and mount it," I directed. In theme with the game the two of us played, Hope took my commands without question, even to the point where her virginity was in question. "Push it back," I stopped Hope's decent as it contacted her rather moist slit. She pushed back a little. Being a virgin, she probably wasn't sure where in the cunt, a cock should penetrate. "Farther back," I insisted, then again, "no, still farther." I felt my rod separate her ass cheeks as Hope slid on down. Only when her now soaking mound settled on my pubic bone did she figure out the game. "Ah, that's cold," Valarie whispered to Vivian and Barbie Lynn. "No ass sex for Hope tonight," lamented Barbie Lynn. My precious blonde really loved anal sex. I put my hands on Hope's hips to support her. "Now ride me, Hope," I smiled. "Give me everything you've got." Hope started out slow, working out a rhythm that pushed my shaft and cockhead as deep along her ass crack as possible. She even stopped for a moment and applied more lube. Soon she was thrusting hard back and up quickly, then allowing a long, leisurely ride back to my crotch. She bounced down on me again and again, her resounding impact on my crotch becoming a wetter, smacking sound. Hope was powerful, vibrant, and strong; she needed little of the guidance provided by my hands on her hips. I decided to move my right hand to her finely groomed pubic hair, then to her soft pubic flesh itself. I alternated between splitting her lips open and massaging her clit. With my left hand, I coaxed stimulation from her right areola and nipple. This time, instead of scarring me, Hope wrapped her fingers in her hair. She gave a few desperate convulsions, then her whole body tensed backwards. "Zane! Oh, fuck!" she screamed. Her ass cheeks tried to squeeze my cock in a steel-tight vise but fortunately, the lube caused it to pop free before those buns of steel could turn my man-meat into ground beef (sometimes I visualize too graphically). "I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes," Vivian sighed. "A girl comes to a boy
On this week's episode of Mom's Car we welcome all-around buddy Ryan Hansen. Ryan, Dax, and Best Friend Aaron Weakley talk through feeling famous from a young age at church, the legend of tough and redheaded Billy, doing bad boy things as a teen as an escape from a rough family life, adventures in attempting to be cool kids in high school, a sex dream about a rock, and Dax's failed intimate encounter with a pint glass of jello.#sponsored by @Allstate. Go to https://bit.ly/momscar to check Allstate first and see how much you could save on car insurance.Follow Mom's Car on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Mom's Car ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting https://wondery.com/plus now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Check out the full, hilarious episode here: "My First Date Was Bukkake" with The Chelsea Skidmore Show Chelsea Skidmore (@chelseaskidmore), a hilarious podcaster and stand-up comic, shares with us the CRAZIEST first date story we've ever heard. It involves a bukkake. Now they are married. Chelsea takes us through her wild journey from being a coke-addicted stripper to a married stand-up comic. Chelsea and my mom bond over their love for Bill Clinton and Bruce Springsteen. I have a visceral reaction to semen. Please support our show and get discounts on our favorite brands by using our sponsors' links at sneakypod.com! FLESHLIGHT – Our sponsor, FLESHLIGHT, can help you reach new heights with your self-pleasure. FLESHLIGHT is the #1 selling male sex toy in the world. Looking for your next pocket pal? Save 10% on your next fleshlight with Promo Code: SNEAKY10 at fleshlight.com. UBERLUBE – UberLube is our favorite lube! Perfect for oral, anal, and vaginal sex. Use code SNEAKY at www.UberLube.com for 10% off and free shipping. LOAD BOOST – Enhance your money shot! Try Load Boost supplements for increased semen volume, enhanced orgasm intensity, and yes, even better taste. Visit loadboost.com and use code MOM for 10% off SOAKING WET – Make every encounter slipperier, sexier, and downright sensational with Soaking Wet supplements. Visit soakingwet.com and use code MOM for 10% off. DRIVE BOOST – A libido supplement for all sexes, formulated by doctors and rigorously third-party tested! Visit vb.health and use code MOM for 10% off ❣️You can view many of our full episodes in video form by going to our YouTube channel. If you've enjoyed the show, please consider leaving us a review at RateThisPodcast.com/Mom. Also, it would mean the world if you'd support us financially through Patreon.com/sextalkwithmymom! Grab some Sex Talk w/ My Mom swag at sextalkwithmymom.com. Get close with us on socials at: Text us - 310-356-3920 Facebook/Instagram - @SexTalkWithMyMom_Official Twitter - @SexTalkWMyMom Website - www.SexTalkWithMyMom.com Our podcast's music was crafted by the wildly talented Freddy Avis! Check out his work at http://www.freddyavismusic.com/ Sex Talk With My Mom is a proud member of Pleasure Podcasts, a podcast collective revolutionizing the conversation around sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Parents have an amazing opportunity to reflect the nature of God to their children. Yet the thought of shaping the way our kids come to see and know him sometimes feels like an overwhelming responsibility. How could anybody represent what our loving Papa is like? Thankfully Jesus redeems our mistakes, helps us in our weakness, and teaches us to support our children through empathy. Join us for this episode of Soul Talks as Kristi talks with Briana about how Jesus wants to help you parent your children through his great empathy. You'll learn how to use empathy to pray for your kids, point them to God, and advocate for their needs in a unique and loving way. Resources for this Episode:Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting God's Great Empathy for YouAttend a Soul Shepherding RetreatSecure: Letters From Papa to Help Moms Nurture Their Child's DevelopmentDonate to Support Soul Shepherding and Soul Talks
In this special episode of Inside the Epicenter, Joel Rosenberg and Lynn Rosenberg take a heartfelt pause from current events to honor the life and legacy of Mary Jo Rosenberg, the mother of Joel Rosenberg and the inspiration behind the Joshua Fund. Join us as Joel Rosenberg shares a moving eulogy, reflecting on Mary Jo’s deep faith, fearless love, bold witness for Christ, and unwavering support for Israel and her neighbors. This is more than a tribute—it’s an invitation for us all to walk in the same spirit of love, forgiveness, and courage. 00:00 "Tribute to Mary Jo Rosenberg" 03:32 "Stranded with No Help" 08:05 "Mom's Sacrificial Love Story" 11:07 Relentless Faith and Witness 14:07 Orthodox Jewish Roots in America 17:56 Passing Wisdom, Honoring Parents 21:01 "From Skeptic to Believer" 22:59 "Grammy's Love for Pawpaw" 27:03 A Life Transformed by Faith 30:48 Legacy of Faith and Ministry 33:31 "Transformation and Faithful Mission" 37:00 Honoring Faith, Love, and Courage Learn more about The Joshua Fund: JoshuaFund.comMake a tax-deductible donation: Donate | The Joshua FundStock Media provided by DimmySad / Pond5 Bible Verse "Our verse for today comes From Proverbs, chapter 1, verses 8 through 9.Hear, my son, your father's instructions and do not forsake your mother's teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.In addition, I think of Hebrews chapter 13, verse 8 that says Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." Prayer Request Pray to be faithful parents and spiritual mentors sharing God's truth, and especially pray for comfort for all who are grieving or in need during difficult seasons Donate a generous monthly gift to The Joshua Fund to bless Israel and Her Neighbors now and for the long haul. Become an Epicenter Ally today! Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
Truth.Love.Parent. with AMBrewster | Christian | Parenting | Family
We'll never be able to prescribe the right parenting course of action if we don't first describe the situation correctly. Join AMBrewster to learn about the relationship between description and prescription and see how God would have us do both with our kids.Action Steps Purchase “Quit: how to stop family strife for good.” https://amzn.to/40haxLz Support our 501(c)(3) by becoming a TLP Friend! https://www.truthloveparent.com/donate.html Download the Evermind App. https://evermind.passion.io/checkout/102683 Use the promo code EVERMIND at MyPillow.com. https://www.mypillow.com/evermind Discover the following episodes by clicking the titles or navigating to the episode in your app: Biblical Conflict Resolution Series https://www.truthloveparent.com/biblical-conflict-resolution-440627.html Children and Sexuality https://www.truthloveparent.com/sexuality.html The Biggest Parenting Challenges You Will Ever Face Series https://www.truthloveparent.com/biggest-parenting-challenges-you-will-ever-face.html Consequences Series https://www.truthloveparent.com/consequence-series.html Teach Your Children to Apologize Series https://www.truthloveparent.com/teach-your-children-to-apologize.html TLP 61: Are There Failure Philosophies in Your Home? https://www.truthloveparent.com/taking-back-the-family-blog/tlp-61-are-there-failure-philosophies-in-your-home TLP 63: Evangelism Parenting https://www.truthloveparent.com/taking-back-the-family-blog/tlp-63-evangelism-parenting Biblical Parenting Essentials Series https://www.truthloveparent.com/biblical-parenting-essentials.html Parenting Your Kids to Adulthood https://www.truthloveparent.com/parenting-your-children-to-adulthood.html Biblical Parenting Essentials Series https://www.truthloveparent.com/biblical-parenting-essentials.html Evidence of Spiritual Life Series https://www.celebrationofgod.com/evidence-of-spiritual-life.html Click here for Today's episode notes, resources, and transcript: https://www.truthloveparent.com/taking-back-the-family-blog/tlp-604-how-you-describe-your-kids-determines-how-you-parent-themNeed some help? Write to us at Counselor@TruthLoveParent.com.
In August 2023, Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver took an exciting leap across the pond — airing on UK Health Radio and sharing caregiver stories with an international audience for the first time.But there was just one catch…They had 45 minutes or less to tell their story.Unlike their five-part U.S. debut series, the sisters — Natalie, JJ, and Emilie — had to condense years of caregiving, laughter, loss, and growth into one whirlwind episode.So, for National Family Caregivers Month, we're rewinding to that moment.To how it all began.To see just how much caregiving — and caregivers — have evolved in the 26 months since that UK debut.Join us as the sisters (lovingly) battle for the mic to share it all — from Jason's cancer diagnosis and Mom's Parkinson's journey, to their first lessons in skilled nursing, advocacy, and the messy mix of grief and guilt that shaped who they are today.All this… in just 45 minutes.Tune in, laugh, cry, and remember: we may all be reluctant caregivers at first, but together, we find the courage to keep going. Support the showConfessions of a Reluctant Caregiver Sisterhood of Care, LLC Website: www.confessionsofareluctantcaregiver.com Like us on Facebook! Tweet with us on Twitter! Follow us on Instagram! Watch us on Youtube! Pin us on Pinterest! Link us on LinkedIn!Tune in on Whole Care Network
Send us a textLet's be real: telling a terrified mom that her horrific intrusive thoughts are "normal" is only half the story, and it's not good enough.This episode is your new essential guide. We're cutting past the surface talk about "scary thoughts" and diving deep into the neuroscience of what's actually going on. Your client's brain is doing a brilliant, protective job being hypervigilant, but then sleep deprivation, nutritional depletion, and chronic stress turn that protection into a panic spiral. We explain exactly how to spot the difference between a normal thought and pathological Postpartum OCD and, most importantly, how to offer root-cause solutions that stop the nervous system from fueling those terrifying images. If you want to move beyond just screening and genuinely help your clients heal, you need to hear this.Check out the episode on the blog HEREKey time stamps: 1:03 Naming the Unspeakable: What Do Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts Really Look Like?2:34 Why Telling a Mom "It's Normal" Simply Isn't Enough (and Why It's Harmful).5:57 Maternal Brain Plasticity 101: How Evolution Made the Postpartum Brain Brilliant.8:18 Hypervigilance, Sympathetic Dominance, and The Postpartum Energy Debt.10:58 The Spiral: When a Protective Thought Leads to Pathological Anxiety.14:25 Root Causes Driving Postpartum Nervous System Dysregulation.17:54 Case Study: Resolving Severe Nighttime Intrusive Thoughts with Nutrition (Ferritin & Labs).20:22 Case Study: Feeding Anxiety, Blood Sugar Crashes, and Adrenal Support.22:09 The Critical Distinction: Intrusive Thoughts vs. Postpartum OCD (P-OCD).25:12 The Whole-Person Assessment Framework for Intrusive Thoughts.27:08 Layered Interventions That Work: Regulation, Foundations, Trauma, and Support.29:27 Common Provider Mistakes: Minimizing, Catastrophizing, and Isolating Symptoms.32:17 Intrusive (Ego-Dystonic) Vs. Psychotic (Ego-Syntonic) Thoughts: Why This Distinction is Life-Saving.35:17 Partner Education: Helping Support People Provide Help, Not Judgment.37:47 Building Resilience, Not Symptom Suppression: Long-Term Nervous System Health. NEXT STEPS:
Mentor Sessions Ep. 037: Michael Morelli on Rock Bottom Addiction Recovery, Building a Bitcoin-Powered Fitness Empire, Parallels to Sound Money & Radical LongevityMichael Morelli's Bitcoin journey mirrors his brutal addiction recovery: from high more than sober for a decade, snorting oxycodone amid bankruptcy and affairs, to a 113-day shred from 25% to 8% body fat—bootstrapping FitScript into a multimillion-dollar data-driven health empire coaching 600+ men with peak biomarkers while stacking BTC as a maxi since 2020. Inspired by Saifedean Ammous' "The Bitcoin Standard," Morelli draws logical parallels between paleo nutrition's ancestral simplicity and Bitcoin's finite, sound money—why it's the only asset that "just seems logical" in a fiat-fueled health and wealth disparity crisis. In this BTC Sessions interview, he busts carnivore myths (labs "fucking wrecked"), unpacks peptides for faster gains, red light therapy hacks, and his no-excuses mantra: if a coke-addicted bankrupt can rebuild to live until 150, stacking sats with low-time preference, Bitcoiners have zero excuses for subpar health. Topics:Brutal rock bottom: Addiction, abuse & what led there113-day rebirth: Fatherhood spark & no-excuses mindsetBootstrapping empire: Mom's basement to millionsFitness myths busted: Carnivore dangers & paleo logicBitcoin awakening: Shitcoins to maxi via SaifedeanHealth-money parallels: Disparity extremes & white coat trapsActionable optimization: Low-hanging fruit for BTC stackersPeptides decoded: Mechanisms for faster recoveryRed light therapy: Mitochondria boost & hair regrowthEntrepreneurship grit: Fuck Aging brand & mindset masteryChapters:00:00 Teaser & Intro01:24 Background & Journey02:09 Addiction & Rock Bottom04:42 No Excuses06:10 Abuse & Roots13:04 Fitness & Control16:34 Empire Collapse19:03 Biz Success23:42 Myths & Paleo26:13 Lab & FitScript31:05 BTC Parallels & Journey33:06 Disparities & Pharma38:50 Actionable Tips43:07 Longevity & Alpha47:53 Peptides & Red Light1:02:45 Outro & DiscountAbout Michael MorelliPerformance health engineer, founder FitScript. Test, don't guess. X.com: @morellifitFitScript: fitscript.me (mention podcast for $1000 off)Check previous ep with Prince Filip of Serbia: https://youtu.be/h7kyNNUuLOg
On this Mind Movement Health poddcast, host Kate Boyle talks with Lidia Molinara, a pharmacist and founder of Mums Healthcare Navigator, about how women and caregivers can become confident healthcare advocates for themselves, their children and aging relatives. Lidia shares the ACE method, Advocate, Communicate, Educate, plus practical tips on what questions to ask, how to track symptoms and medications, how to assess risk versus benefit, and steps to prepare before and after medical appointments or surgery. Listeners will come away with simple, actionable strategies such as keeping a healthcare journal, using credible resources, and bringing a clear set of questions to appointments to reduce errors and improve outcomes. Connect with Lidia Molinara: Dr. Lidia Molinara is a 30+ year practicing pharmacist, patient safety officer, mother of three, and the founder of Mom's Healthcare Navigator. She helps moms become confident healthcare advocates through her proven ACE method-Advocate, Communicate, Educate. Lidia's mission is clear to replace fear with calm confidence by providing moms with real-world tools to stay aware, prepared and in the know—so they can prevent errors and protect their families in every medical moment. Website: momshealthcarenavigator.com, lidia@lidiamolinara.com Email: lidia@momshealthcarenavigator.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/momshealthcarenavigator/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@moms_healthcarenavigator YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@momshealthcarenavigator, https://www.youtube.com/@LidiaMolinara Restore and Align Pilates Retreat March 20–22, 2026 | Torquay, Victoria Ready to go on retreat? Join us for a truly rejuvenating weekend by the sea at the Restore and Align Pilates Retreat—a carefully curated experience designed to help you realign, restore, and reconnect with yourself. Set in the beautiful coastal town of Torquay, Victoria this local retreat combines energising and restorative Pilates sessions, nourishing food, gentle beach walks, and soulful connection. Whether you're looking to deepen your Pilates practice, take time to rest, or simply recharge in nature, this three-day retreat offers the perfect space to pause and reset—inside and out. You'll enjoy: Daily Pilates to support strength, flexibility, and alignment Wholesome, seasonal meals to nourish and energise Guided beach walks and mindful moments by the ocean A welcoming, supportive community of like-minded souls And more… Come home feeling grounded, refreshed, and reconnected. Your body will thank you and so will your soul. We only have 1 spot left so book your spot now and begin your journey to restore and align. To check it out and book your place, click here. Connect with Kate: Website: MindMovementHealth.com.au Facebook: facebook.com/MindMovementHealth Instagram: instagram.com/MindMovementHealth Haven't subscribed to the podcast yet? Be sure to subscribe and leave us a review at: Apple Podcasts
BAM! 2025 - coming to you live on location. Yep, October is more recognisable for being Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but while Blindness Awareness Month is less familiar to some, it sounds better, more straightforward, rolling off the tongue as acronym than BCAM. This week on Outlook, with the start of a new month…October, we're highlighting BAM even though, we always say, every month is BAM for us. On this BAM Mixed Bag episode sister/co-host Kerry is streaming live and on route, but luckily makes it back to “the flat” still within the first half of the show, a major Uk cellphone service is down which made it difficult to get a cab back from the furniture warehouse. But luckily, freezer deal was found (with help from Barry's assistant AI as he terms his co-processor) and service from the store's sales guy was excellent (lovely British chap) who didn't necessarily know how to assist two blind people, yet was all the things we ask anyone to be when interacting with the public. BAM getting off to a pretty good start after last week's nightmare (see previous Outlook for more on what not to do. It's really not that much different from how to assist anyone else, just be willing to listen to our guidance, as we know what we need as blind people). It's Thanksgiving for brother/co-host Brian back in Canada, but it's also Columbus Day in the States (Indigenous Peoples Day in approximately 30 states now) and we're discussing this update/correction on which one is preferable, along with celebrating our lovely mother's birth, and thankfully the cab finally arriving to take Kerry and BF Barry home is hardly noticeable in the background. We're comparing Canada and The States as baseball rivalries intensify in October. Some things are, as “American as apple pie” while we're talking thankfulness (which should be as obvious as “Apple cake” with details of what Historian Heather Cox Richardson says about Columbus Day's origins, years of colonial subjugation, and the difference in definitions that can become glaringly clear in 100 years. Outlook On Radio Western stands on the foundation of Diversity and we're talking definitions of all of this, plus on things like BAM or World Sight Day, from orgs like the National Federation of the Blind (NFB) or the Foundation Fighting Blindness (FFB) and using a daytime TV infomercial about “blind children in poorer countries” and how helpless images make it seem. While no country should think itself above another like how even the Canadian National Institute for the Blind (CNIB) tries to raise money by using Canada's blind people and cute images of guide dogs to elicit pity and donations. The NFB thinks of BAM more from the standpoint of independence which often, to them means employment, but though we reject another definition that's all about the patronising angle of everything we do as inspirational, we lay out the harmful impacts of something like the messaging from World Sight Day's promotional material. While the International Agency for the prevention of blindness (the IAPB) is focusing on eye health around the world, some organisations and charities and nonprofits go about fundraising in reckless ways. Brian is riding the fader live in the studio while Kerry was out tracking down monkey nuts (but shhh Mom is listening), returning by cab and sharing how drivers often struggle (as sighted as sighted can be) to find the address, Kerry foreshadowing a recent struggle with such things plus one of Marlee Matlin's similar experiences with those of us who have our sense of hearing which Kerry heard on a recent audio description project. That's why our mom recently painted Kerry's garage door bright red and put up a huge house number, Barry in the process of doing something similar for those drivers who might as well be blind behind the wheel, Brian using the example of Uber drivers trying to find the door into the University Community Centre (UCC) where we record our show out of. We use the Pin The Tail On The Donkey example of disorientation to make the point that these are just more additions of those tropes that are harmful to us blind people and those that are simply the truth of our current reality. Multi sensory, multi media, and interactive - from a recent work experience she had doing cultural consulting and quality control for Toronto's version of the Nuit Blanche festival, she then tells of another Canadian connection (as we call it) when out during a Saturday pub night for many in neighbouring Belfast. Instead Kerry and Barry chose to attend a local boy's return performance, Brian Kennedy (Canada has Cory Hart while Northern Ireland has BK), to the classic Black Box Theatre as he played some Joni Mitchell covers including “Woodstock,” (not the same Woodstock but still). So on this one Brian with an “I” and Kerry with a “y” are talking the Dominos that have to fall in our lives with dealing with how sometimes sighted people can and do suck which adds up the blocks of frustration and fatigue as Kerry shares a bit about a recent visitor experience at Belfast's Titanic Museum and how baseball radio broadcasts put us on an equal playing field (baseball metaphor there for you). BAM! It gets someone's attention at least and we're thankful for our mother, apple cake instead of pumpkin pie, and the Toronto Bluejays beating The Yankees and moving on to take the American League championship, from east to west and north to south - BAM begins.
Citizen narcs. Erewhon smoothies. Most common breakup periods. This date in history. Winner! Favorite candy. B/CS Chamber of Commerce update. Marine Corps celebrating 250. Sexiest Man Alive. Candy. Martha Stewart is relaunching her original book. Mom's comic collection.
Shaq's car is missing. Software glitch. Lost dog, happy ending. Counting to sleep. Melatonin risk. Do you need to rinse your dishes? Food expiration. Mushrooms or meat? Citizen narcs. Erewhon smoothies. Most common breakup periods. This date in history. Winner! Favorite candy. Sexiest Man Alive. Candy. Martha Stewart is relaunching her original book. Mom's comic collection.
(00:00) - Good morning, all. Jackson is busy changing text names. Sadie Hawkins, Doug. Naturally, we lead off with the Sophie Cunningham and Sydney Sweeney picture. World Series breakdown. Instant classic game 7. Reactions from Blue Jays fans following the loss. So polite. Oilers had Game 7 on the jumbotron during their game, much to the dismay of Connor McDavid. Design Aire's incredible prize for the EMOTD. (29:00) - Mom can't watch the news tonight... Blues lose their 7th in a row. The silver lining is they are playing better, but if you aren't adding to the win column, it's tough. Fans are frustrated. The boys break down the issues at hand for the Note. Optimism from Papers. (57:00) - They weren't happy this weekend in College Football. Dabo Swinney wasn't pleased with the pass interference call that cost them a home victory against Duke (in fairness, awful call). Deion Sanders had an interesting take on his ‘Sko Buffs poor season. Hugh Freeze canned. How many more coaches will get the axe this year?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Are our daughters really prepared for today's challenges?And how can moms balance protecting their girls' innocence with preparing them for the real world? In this episode, I talk with Kari Kampakis, bestselling author, podcaster, and mom of four daughters, about her new book Is Your Daughter Ready? 10 Ways to Empower Your Girl for an Age of New Challenges. Kari shares wisdom from decades of parenting, writing, and mentoring teen girls—covering everything from truth and integrity to friendship, discernment, and relationship red flags. Together, we explore how to help our daughters root their identity in something solid, use their power for good, and navigate social pressures with wisdom and grace. Kari also offers a heartfelt reminder to moms: give yourself grace—you're doing better than you think. About Kari Kampakis Kari Kampakis is a nationally known author, speaker, and podcaster from Birmingham, Alabama. She's the author of Love Her Well, More Than a Mom, 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, Liked, and her newest release, Is Your Daughter Ready? Her books have been used widely in small groups and churches across the country. Kari's writing has been featured in outlets like The Huffington Post and TODAY Parents. She's passionate about helping moms and daughters grow in faith, confidence, and healthy connection. Three Takeaways Root identity early: Plant deep truths about who your daughter is before the world defines her. Model discernment: Teach her to trust her gut, spot red flags, and set boundaries with grace. Protect relationships: Don't label people as toxic—address behaviors, avoid burning bridges, and remember that kindness wins long-term. Learn more at karikampakis.com Follow at https://www.instagram.com/karikampakis/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ellen and Mom discuss the parachuting, pacts, and pranks in When Javi Dumped Mari by Mia Sosa. Plus, Hallmark and sea witches.Come hang out with us! Twitter/Instagram: @notyourmomsromFacebook Group: Not Your Mom's Facebook GroupEmail: notyourmomsromancebookclub@gmail.comNot Your Mom's Romance Book Club is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at Frolic.media/podcast
274. Holy Spirit Stories and Fruit and Ways to Identify His Guidance in Our Lives with Margaret Feinberg Exodus 31:3 NIV "and I have filled him with the Spirit of God, with wisdom, with understanding, with knowledge and with all kinds of skills—" *Transcription Below* Questions and Topics We Cover: Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, so will you share some insight into what you've been learning about the Holy Spirit from your most recent research for your latest book, entitled The God You Need to Know? If someone listening has trouble identifying the Spirit's role and God's direction or Jesus' voice in their life, how would you encourage them to grow in attention and recognition of His voice and leading? Do you have any stories to give as illustrations for the Spirit still mightily being at work in the world and in people's lives today? Margaret Feinberg, one of America's most beloved Bible teachers, speaks at churches and conferences and hosts the popular podcast The Joycast. Her books and Bible studies, including Taste and See, Fight Back with Joy, More Power to You, and The God You Need to Know have sold more than one million copies and received critical acclaim and national media coverage from the Associated Press, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, and more. She was named by Christianity Today as one of fifty women most shaping culture and the church today. Margaret savors life with her husband, Leif, and their superpup, Zoom. Margaret's Most Recent Work: The God You Need To Know Book and Bible Study Thank You to Our Sponsor: Dream Seller Travel, Megan Rokey Other Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce: 150 Brain Science and Spiritual Abundance with Ken Baugh Special Patreon Re-Release Theology and Discipleship with Ken Baugh 259 God Speaks to His Kids . . . Here's How with Chris Allen Fruitful with Laura Dugger Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” *Transcription* Music: (0:00 – 0:09) Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 2:18) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. Do you love to travel? If so, then let me introduce you to today's sponsor, DreamCellar Travel, a Christian-owned and operated travel agency. Check them out on Facebook or online at DreamCellarTravel.com. Today we get to learn from one of the most joyful human beings I've ever encountered. My guest for today is Margaret Feinberg, and she's an author and researcher and podcaster and speaker. Most recently, her research project turned into a book where she was researching all about the Holy Spirit and His work in the Old Testament and the New Testament, and still His work that's present and active in our lives and around our world today. So, her stories of His specific presence at work in our lives are so moving, and she also pairs that with practical ways that we can more clearly hear from the Holy Spirit and identify His voice in our lives. We also chat about the true definition of the word weird, which I actually want to elaborate on now because in the moment I couldn't find the definition that was so powerful. So, weird is defined as unearthly or uncanny, extraordinary, involving or suggesting the supernatural, and completely fantastic. Sometimes we think the Holy Spirit may be inviting us into something that seems weird, but He's redefined weird for us, and I just pray that all of us after this conversation will accept the invitation with gladness from Holy Spirit in our lives to join in whatever adventure He has planned for each one of us today. Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Margaret. Margaret Feinberg: (2:18 - 2:24) What a delight to be with you today. It's absolute joy, and you look fantastic, by the way. Laura Dugger: (2:24 - 2:45) You're so kind. I can tell that joy is one of your markers already, and that makes me think you just have such a rich spiritual heritage in general. So, we don't typically start here, but can you go back and share your parents' story of coming to faith in Jesus Christ? Margaret Feinberg: (2:46 - 5:22) Absolutely. I share this in the book, The God You Need to Know, in Bible study, but it's pretty beautiful. They actually came to know Jesus back in the 1970s during the Jesus movement, and my father was raised Jewish, and my mom was not really raised much in the church, and so, they got married, and separately on the same weekend, they came to know Christ. My father, back in the 1960s, he was actually a surfboard manufacturer. He helped build longboards the very first time that longboards were cool, and these customers kept coming into his little store and telling him about Jesus, and eventually he grew so frustrated that one weekend he went out turkey hunting, and he was sitting in turkey blind, had tons of time around him, and decided to sit down and read the entire New Testament over the course of that weekend, and he read it, and he thought, “Wow, Jesus came to earth.” He lived, he died, and he was resurrected that we can have eternal life for free, and he thought, in his Jewish brain, that is a good deal, and so, he just believed in Christ, and meanwhile, my mom is at home and has her own encounter. She's finishing reading a book by the name of The Great Late Planet Earth by Hal Lindsey, which was actually the best-selling book of the decade back in the 1970s, and at the end of that book, it had an invitation to come to know Christ, and so, both of them come to know Christ separately on the same weekend. They come home on that Sunday, and they're a little awkward about it because it sounds weird. They don't really want to tell each other, and then finally start to spell out, and there's such joy that they both came to know Christ because the Holy Spirit was at work in their lives. What's amazing is that they had been trying to have kids for the first eight years of their marriage and hadn't been able to conceive, and within a month of them coming to know Jesus, I was conceived. So, you just see the work of the Holy Spirit all over that, and that He is leading people to Christ. He is on the move, and sometimes it doesn't involve any of us doing anything, and that's a freedom marker for us. It's not our job to run around and try to save everybody. Holy Spirit is already at work, and when we have the opportunities to be part of that, it is a privilege and a joy. Trust in a God who is so good and so loving and so kind that He will find people through reading books and hiding out in a turkey blind hunting turkeys all weekend. Laura Dugger: (5:23 - 5:45) That gives me goosebumps even to hear the timing of that and you being conceived. Then you also had a unique childhood. At that time, not as many people were homeschooled, and your story was fascinating. So, what was homeschooling and spiritual discipleship like for you in the growing up years? Margaret Feinberg: (5:46 - 8:18) Yeah, so, in those early years, my mom and dad had that mom-and-pop kind of surf shop down in Cocoa Beach, Florida. For all you surfing nerds, Ron Jon loaned my dad the money to marry my mom. I mean, so, we're talking deep surfing roots, still friends to this day, and so, they would work, and a lot of you are entrepreneurs and are listening, and you get this, but they would often work seven days a week, 14 hours a day, just trying to keep this little store open with their employee. It just was. It's just a rough business, retail, and so, the only way that they could get away was they would leave the store in the hands of a manager. They decided to buy a really small, inexpensive boat, and we would go sail from the coast of Florida into the Caribbean. So, as we did that, what do we do for school. I remember for third grade, we actually went for an entire year, and so, it was homeschooling. Now, this is like early 80s, and you have to think like it's not exactly fact-checked, reputable, like you send your work in like once or twice a year. So, I'm living on this boat, super remote, not even around a ton of kids, pretty isolated, and I figured out that if I did all my schoolwork in one day that I could play the other six, and so, that was my year of third grade. Fortunately, things turned out okay, but I learned so much more just meeting people from all over the world, surfing or swimming. I learned how to, at eight years old, shoot my first lobster because we had to survive off the ocean. So, it was an incredible experience. Then after that, ended up going into public school in the later years once we got to like probably fifth, sixth, a lot more steady than those early years. But you know, the thing that I always saw in my mom was I would wake up, and she would usually be on the couch or on the deck of the boat, and she would be reading her Bible, and there was something about that. It wasn't spoken. It wasn't like you must do this, but I watched it, and I saw it, and now all these years later, that's what I do. So, for all those mamas and papas who are listening and watching, I just want to encourage you - like how you live, those little things, the kids and the grandkids and the great-grandkids, they watch, they see, and it matters, and so, thank you. Those of you who are engaging in those things. It pays dividends for decades and generations to come. Laura Dugger: (8:20 - 8:28) That's incredible, and then can you share about your own faith journey? You saw that modeled. When did it become personal to you? Margaret Feinberg: (8:29 - 11:44) Yeah, you know, even as a young kid, I was aware of God and Jesus and Holy Spirit, and just the Lord was very tender to make Himself real to me when I was young. When I went away to college, and this is just normal behavior, you know, there is that kind of making faith your own, figuring it out, and so, my freshman year of college, I partied like a rock star. I got the bees, the beer, the boys, and the Ben and Jerry, like I, you know, I just all the things, and I remember at the end of that year, I had this sense that God was saying to me like, you are my child. I have called you by name. You are mine. Come back to me, and I read about this in The God You Need to Know, but one of those was a turning point I went to. It was actually a Methodist conference on Holy Spirit, and while I was there, I had an unusual experience, but in it, you know, I'm watching, I'm listening to all these lectures. I'm in the conference. I'm attending all these things, and at one point, I had a thought pop into my mind that was not my own, and the thought was go to the prayer room and look underneath the tablecloth. I was like, okay, that's weird, but it was like go to the prayer room and look underneath the tablecloth. So, I'm like, you know what? At the end of the day, like what do I have to lose? I mean the worst thing that happens is I wander into our prayer room. Okay, we'll take the risk, and I remember going in there, and I'm kind of like there's some people praying (a couple). I'm trying to like I don't want to be weird like I know it's a conference on the Holy Spirit, but still I'm like I am not going to be weird about it. So, I'm like trying to peek underneath a tablecloth, and there's nothing there, and there's all these tables around the room. So, I'm kind of like making my way across, and I'm seeing like one lady like eyeing me like what is happening. So, I peek under another one. Anyway, I go table after table, nothing after nothing until I reach the very last table. I pick up the tablecloth, and there is a Bible, and I look, and it's full of like notes and photographs. So, I pull it out, and there's a name on the front, and so, I just kind of said, “You know, excuse me in the prayer room like does anybody know this person, and most people were like no, and one lady says you know what I do know her, and she had to leave the conference early, and I actually have her phone number.” So, all of a sudden I'm on the phone calling this lady and saying “Hey, I just found your Bible on the phone.” She says, “You have no idea. That Bible is full of decades of prayers and notes and photos that can't be replaced. I have been sitting here praying that someone would find my Bible.” So, I'm just in awe like Holy Spirit, I didn't even know - like wow like this is not just a mental learning. This is a real experience, and so, I told a couple people at the conference about it. One said' “You know what, actually, if you're driving up that direction, I've been praying to get a ride up that direction.” So, I was able to drop off this ministry worker, return this Bible to this precious woman, and that really became one of the markers in my life. Oh my goodness Holy Spirit is real. He is on the move. He is leading and guiding us, and this is such an exciting thrilling adventure to be on. Laura Dugger: (11:45 - 12:12) Wow, and it absolutely is. You are an incredible storyteller. It's so powerful the way that you wrote some stories in your books, the way that you're sharing it now. God has really gifted you with that, and that's part of your purpose in life being that storyteller. So, how did you begin to uncover the purpose that God had for you in life? Margaret Feinberg: (12:12 - 15:09) That's such a great question, so, I'm going to answer that a couple different folds. Can I do that? So, the first answer is all of our purpose is the same. It is to love God, love others, and delight in Him forever. That is the purpose of all of our lives, and so, that is the answer. At the same time, a lot of what I think you're saying is purpose is a little bit about vocation. Is that right? And so, we need to recognize that as believers that this idea that somehow our vocation or what we do is our purpose and is supposed to give us meaning and value to God has really only been around for the last 50 to 75 years and largely established in the American culture. But for thousands of years, that has never been the case. And so, what that does is that for a lot of us, when we don't kind of understand that it puts a heavier weight on the job. The vocation that we do to carry all of this burden of purpose, fulfillment, meaning, ordained by God. I mean, that becomes like a heavy burden for a single job or vocation to carry that it was never meant to. Right? And so, again, back to what is our purpose? It is loving God, loving others, and delighting. And that never changes no matter whether you are raising littles, whether you are whatever the title on your business card, if you still have those, or identification on social, whatever it is. But that never changes. And so, I think that we have to step back and recognize that. Now, I do understand that I am in a role in which my job provides spiritual meaning. And that is delightful. And I am super grateful for that. But in that, my spiritual meaning is still not about what books I write or podcasts or any of that nonsense. It's all about how I'm living in my community and real one-to-one relationships that are done privately and never published on social media. That is the real life. And so, I just want to encourage everyone out there to think that that job is the thing. The job is never the thing. Now, don't let that distract you because what do you do when you're retired? What do you do if you can't do that job? But if you are in a vocation, if you are in a role, that to understand, yes, God can use that, and to invite Holy Spirit into that space, but to make sure that we don't find our identity in that. Because that's a short runway. That's going to end at one point. And to really ground ourselves into the eternal and what does not have an end and what will sustain us from our first breath until our last. Laura Dugger: (15:10 - 16:38) Wow, I love how you put all of that. And so, I'm going to share a story, so, bear with me because you may not be aware, but back in 2013, our lives first crossed paths. So, back then, we were pregnant with our first child. And my husband, Mark, and I went with my parents to the American Association of Christian Counselors conference in Nashville. And you were one of those keynote speakers at the Opera Land Hotel. And I was just mesmerized by every word you shared. And so, I see why people write about you, and they say you're one of America's most beloved Bible teachers, because you were so endearing from the first word spoken. But at the time, you were battling cancer. And yet you were still willing to generously and joyfully share about the goodness of the Lord and the ways that we encounter Him in nature through olives and bees and so on. But the one other thing that has stuck with me for over a decade is when you encourage the audience of probably thousands of people in attendance, that if we don't know what to be thankful for today, be thankful for nose hairs. So, do you remember that? Margaret Feinberg: (16:39 - 19:24) I do. Yeah, that defined gratitude in the little things and in the heart. I do. And the reason I said that, because without context, that sounds really, really strange. But whenever anybody who's out there and is walking through any medical, whether that's mental health or physical challenges, one of the difficulties is in the medical world, they don't tell you everything that's coming. And so, there are all these hidden surprises, and you can read about it, and you can WebMD it, and you can read online, and all of them are just going to say you're going to die tomorrow. We already know that. We know we shouldn't Google these things, right? But no matter what you're walking through, there are things that people just don't tell you. And so, I knew that going through chemotherapy, I would lose my hair. And sure enough, in 10 days, it was all falling out. Nobody told me that that included all my hair, including my nose hairs. And so, what I had to learn the hard way is when you don't have nose hairs, like kind of what holds anything that's liquid in your nose, it just falls out. And so, my encouragement was to everybody, you don't have anything to give thanks to God for today. Give thanks for your nose hairs. And just a light way of saying, you know, even when you're walking through the darkness, and I know some of your listeners and your viewers are, you are in dark seasons. And if that is you, I just want to say, I get you. I get it. I have battled cancer. I have battled autoimmune. I have battled being sick for years. I have battled being embezzled. I have battled surviving a destructive pastor. I know suffering and pain. But even when we're in the darkness, we are a people who poke holes in the darkness until it bleeds light. And that's who we are. And gratitude is just one of those tools that helps us do that. So, I just want to encourage you today, like whatever it takes for you. And there is something in this concept of joy. And I don't quite understand. I can't quite wrap my head around it. But joy is something that you can give away even when you don't have it. And in the process of giving away joy when you don't have it, somehow our capacity for joy expands. It's a strange equation in God's economy. It does not add up. It does not make sense. But whether it's, you know, climbing in an MRI machine and saying, man, has anybody praised God from this square inch today? Whether it's showing up and giving just a simple gift to someone else, whether it's writing the note, whether it's encouraging someone else, even in our own pain. When we do that, our capacity for joy just grows bigger and bigger. Laura Dugger: (19:25 - 21:58) And now a brief message from our sponsor. Do you have a bucket list of travel destinations? Or maybe you have a special event coming up like a big anniversary, a honeymoon, or even just that first trip to Europe? If so, you need to call DreamCellar Travel. DreamCellar Travel is located in central Illinois, but works with clients all across the USA. 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Margaret Feinberg: (21:59 - 25:44) Yeah, I'm super excited about this book and Bible study. I've had a lot of questions about the Holy Spirit since I was a little girl. I remember reading the Bible and thinking, Jesus, He's so real. He's so human. That I can recognize, and I get the picture of God on the throne, all powerful and sovereign. But when I think about the Holy Spirit, I'd be like, I'm struggling here a little bit. And growing up in Southern Baptist and Methodist and Episcopal and non-denominational and charismatic, I got little pieces of Holy Spirit, but I just kind of struggled. And I think one of the reasons I struggled is that often, maybe like you, when I ask questions about Holy Spirit, I was like, “Well, you need to go read the book of Acts and read Acts 2.” And that's that beautiful moment of Pentecost where the spirit comes in and it's like a violent wind and tongues of fire. They descend and people start speaking in other languages and other people hear they're declaring the glories of God. And then all of a sudden 3,000 people get saved. I think that is awesome. But that doesn't look like my every day. So, I'm not quite sure. And so, for the last few years, I've been struggling to write this book. And when I really came alive was with a scholar by the name of Jack Levison, and he focused in on the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament. And all of a sudden that changed everything for me. Because what happens is if we jump to Acts, and particularly Acts 2 to understand Holy Spirit, it would be like showing up on your wedding day and being like, this is who you're marrying. And you're like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't know this person. Like we haven't courted. We haven't dated.” I don't, what, what, what? And yet that's often what we do as believers when we're directing people. And so, I took a deep dive into Holy Spirit throughout the Old Testament, looking at Genesis where Holy Spirit hovers over the waters, the chaos, the darkness, looking at how Holy Spirit hovers over our lives and how that's consistent with God, as in the book of Deuteronomy, as well as Jesus in the New Testament, that hovering like a, like a hen, I wanted to gather the children. And you start to see this through it. You start to look in the lives of Bezalel, who was the first person who was filled with Holy Spirit, to do what to make and to make those, you know, the tabernacle and to lead an entire guild of artisans. We see the life of the Spirit in Daniel, where all of a sudden Nebuchadnezzar on multiple occasions is saying the Spirit of God is in him. We have somebody who is literally running around like a wild animal at certain points in his life, who is still recognizing the power of Holy Spirit. I think it's the word in Hebrew is Ketria. We start seeing it in the life of Ezekiel, where the Holy Spirit is lifting him up, giving him new perspectives. And what's cool is that once you start to recognize the rule of Holy Spirit in the Old Testament, you arrive at Acts 2 and you go, of course, it would happen this way. And suddenly for those of us who for maybe we've been hesitant about Holy Spirit, or maybe we've had maybe a lack of teaching or maybe some teaching that was a little bit abusive and was used to manipulate. Like all of a sudden we can back up from that and be like, oh, Holy Spirit, this is you from the beginning of time. This is so normal. This isn't weird. This is just part of just being a follower of Jesus. And so, one of the things that I love about this book is it takes the weird out, takes the scary out. It's so just biblically based, especially in the Old Testament. And I think some of your listeners and viewers will be surprised like, whoa, I didn't know that was, what? That's where? And that's really fun and exciting. Laura Dugger: (25:45 - 26:14) Absolutely. I think it did bring to light so many things from the Old Testament, like I said, especially. And I think you were even able to share some of your own stories, and that's why we're so often called to remember. I think when we preserve and document those and share those stories, we can reflect back and remember God nudging us like he did with you, putting a thought in your mind that was not your own. That increases our faith in others, I think, as well. Margaret Feinberg: (26:14 - 28:25) I think it really, really does. I think that one of the things we have to remember when Holy Spirit, so, in Psalm 139, we know that God knows he made us in the womb. And so, to recognize that all of us are made differently, and my hunches are some listeners right now who are thinking, man, yeah, I know people who talk a lot about Holy Spirit, but that's just not me. I don't really see or enact or feel Holy Spirit. And so, first of all to you, I want to say I don't feel Holy Spirit either. I've been to a ton of churches and conferences, and the person on the stage will say, man, do you feel the Holy Spirit here? And I'll be like, nope, nope, not at all. So, I'm not a feeler. But what I can do in those moments is I can acknowledge with my head, Holy Spirit is here, because we know that as part of the Trinity, Father, Son, Spirit, Holy Spirit is here. And then secondly, to recognize that like Psalm, you know, that describes that He knew us in the womb, that we are all different. We know today that there's a neurodiversity, right? So, some people learn audio, some people visual, some people like myself, ADD, ADHD. And God knows that, like the Creator did not make a mistake. And so, wouldn't it make sense that the Holy Spirit, who knows us as the spirit of a living God, would interact with us in different ways? I have an e-newsletter, and I've surveyed, you know, thousands of people, how they recognize the spirit, and it's just so diverse. Some are like me, a thought pops back in my head that is not my own, that causes me to love God, love others, serve others, take risks in godly good ways. For other people, they do feel it. Some people have like a warmth in their body. Some people kind of just feel like this, this just comfort or peace, like liquid love that envelops them. Some people recognize God and the Holy Spirit through nature. And so, I listen to this, and I think, doesn't that make sense that God and Holy Spirit would know us so well that He would know how to communicate with us? And so, that when we start gathering with other believers and say, “Hey, how is Holy Spirit working in your life?” It starts to get this excitement of recognizing it and celebrating it and making it normal and not weird. Laura Dugger: (28:28 - 28:48) And I think let's even take that one step further. So, if somebody is listening and they currently have trouble identifying the spirit's role or God's direction or Jesus's voice in their life, how would you encourage them with even first steps to grow in attention and recognition of His voice and leading? Margaret Feinberg: (28:49 - 34:09) Goodness, that's such a great question. Something that's really changed my life in the last few months is my friend, Drake. He's a Young Life leader here. And he said, Margaret, when I'm training people how to recognize Holy Spirit, he says, “I and the kids get a journal and write one question down for Holy Spirit each day. The question could be about purpose, identity, Holy Spirit, what's on your heart, Holy Spirit, who do I serve today? And write that one question down.” That's it. That's all we're doing. And then throughout the day, return to that one question in prayer again and again. And then pay attention to conversations that suddenly you have, Bible passages that flutter through your mind, the sermon that's given, conversations with other believers. Like just pay attention. And it's amazing. And then the next day or that night, jot down whatever happens. The next day, change the question or keep the same question. And just start changing the posture of your life to pay attention to that one question. And I think you're going to start to see and encounter some things. It may not happen quickly. It may take a few weeks or even months, but it will happen. I think I was thinking about this just this morning. I haven't shared this with anybody. But in some ways, like people are like, I don't recognize Holy Spirit. It's kind of like my friends who are birders. Okay. Some people super into birding. And I know there are birds. I mean, occasionally I'll see a bird out the window, but birders have a whole different mentality. They slow down. They pay attention. And they have some tools like binoculars to be able to look and to see. And it's the same thing about paying attention to Holy Spirit. We've got to slow down, pay attention. And maybe the tool is just asking Holy Spirit one question a day. But suddenly you'll start to see and recognize. Can I give you a fun story? Please. Okay. So, just at Easter came around and I was probably a couple weeks before and they're having this crazy good sale at Target on some new releases. So, I'm at the Target website early in the morning before they sell out. And I saw a purse and I bought myself a few things. But I saw a purse and I immediately thought of my friend Janella. And so, I was just like, I'm just going to buy this for her. Now, let me be clear. I've never bought a purse for her before. I don't really carry around a ton of purses. I'm a Apple pay, like keep it light. Like it's just not my thing. But put it in the cart, send it to her. So, I get a text from her about a week or two later. And she goes, how did you know? Did I tell you about my Easter meltdown? And I said, no, I didn't know. And she tells me, and I had known this, that her mother had passed away last year. What I didn't know is every single year, since she was a little girl for Easter, her mom would buy her a dress and a purse. And this was the first Easter without her mom. And she could justify financially buying the dress, but not the purse. And all of a sudden this purse, which wasn't a normal purse. She's like, this is an Easter purse. I was like, I don't know that, but okay. Arrived. And she said, I just, I just cried because I knew that the Lord saw me. He heard me. You know, he was with me, part of his kingdom. And so, she says, but here's the thing. The purse matched my dress perfectly. And you start to see that happen. And I didn't hear a voice from God say, go buy your friend a purse. I was just like, “Hey, I've been praying every day, a single thing from Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, will you order my steps?” And then you see something that you couldn't orchestrate on your own in 500 years happen. And you go, that is the work of Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit in the New Testament, it's parakletos. It means advocate. It can be translated comforter, advisor, barrister. For those of you watch too many British shows like I do, you know, the legal counsel. But if I were to kind of break that down from just biblical words, here's how we know it's the Holy Spirit. Number one, Holy Spirit will remind you: God loves you. God sees you. God hears you. And you're part of His kingdom. And what happened in that story was both of us experienced that. God loves, He sees, He hears, and we're part of His kingdom. And so, that is the thrilling part about life in the Spirit. It's not so I feel good or I have little things that happen. It's about being part of God's kingdom on this earth, living out the life that Christ describes and designed for us. And so, we cannot do that apart from Holy Spirit. And also, you may notice I haven't been using the term the Holy Spirit because we wouldn't say I talked to the God today. I talked to Jesus. And Holy Spirit is a person; a person you can have a relationship with. And just as you can have a relationship with Christ and talk to Christ, you can do the same with Holy Spirit who is, again, paracletes, your advisor, your comforter, your helper. Why would you not tap into that? Why would you want to spend a life missing out on the fullness of that? Laura Dugger: (34:10 - 36:48) Oh, that's good, and I'll have to try and apply that and refer to Holy Spirit rather than I even did it there, the Holy Spirit. I'm thinking in the book of John, I love the amplified version where it says, “one of the things to describe Holy Spirit is standby.” And I've thought of that so many times because I love looking up definitions and seeing exactly what that means. And it's just the immediacy of the help available. And that's been a way that I've experienced Him in my life especially the short prayers of help, please help now. Or if I need direction, a lot of times it comes in parenting for me, like, I'm not sure which way to go. Can you give me discernment right now? And He's immediately available. So, I would say my own personal experience, it's a lot of what you've mentioned, definitely through reading the Bible that I feel like He speaks so much. You're like, well, bring the words off the page. Journaling is such a practical way. And I'll link to our friend Chris Allen's episode just about hearing from God and training our kids on how they can do the same. Just those thoughts that they're not always from us, but we're processing thoughts that are given to us. But one other thing, so, this is inspired from your book. You mentioned about dreams and just asking Holy Spirit to speak to you through dreams. So, in our life currently, one of our daughters is going through some health issues and we were launched into having to do this FODMAP diet. And it's not that big of a deal, but I had never heard of it before. And it limits and restricts quite a few things. So, the immediate need of that seemed a little bit overwhelming. We're kind of in a busy season and completely revamping everything our family eats all day. I've been preoccupied and kind of consumed with that. So, twice this week, because in my quiet time I felt like God just kept saying, bring it to me, come to me with this, ask me the questions. And so, I've been journaling and I feel like He's been responding with Scripture. But the last two nights in a row, I've woken up with a recipe in mind for our family. And that has never happened before. But you are the one who challenged us just to say, just ask. And that was probably, probably started asking over a month ago. So, thank you. Margaret Feinberg: (36:49 - 40:32) Wow. I love it. And you know what? That makes me want to ask. Does that make sense? Like there's this excitement and there's this joy. When you share about how Holy Spirit is working in your life, I'm like, I want that too. And that's just, yeah, I think that so often we forget who is with us. The person, the person of Holy Spirit is with us. We don't have to keep all this striving and straining. And man, I got a life hack this on my own. You know, there is this availability of the power and the presence of the person of Holy Spirit, the spirit of the living God. One thing I want to note on the Trinity, just so that I don't, I don't want anybody to think, oh, she's just cutting out one part of the Trinity. No. Trinity is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. A couple of things on that. Number one, often, and part of the emphasis on the Holy Spirit, a little bit more in looking at this in the Old Testament, is when we see things in groupings of three, we tend to think that the third one listed tends to be lesser than or third place. Right. And yet Father, Son and Spirit are equal. And what we see throughout the Bible is we have to remember that where there is one, all are present. And so, like in creation, we see God take the lead. But, you know, Holy Spirit is mentioned in Genesis 1 to Jesus using the reference of we is there. And so, we start to see that the word, I think it's the word perichoresis is this term that describes the Trinity in a dance. And so, at different parts of Scripture, we'll see one member of the Trinity take the lead, but the others are always present, whether it's, you know, Jesus taking the lead in the Gospels. But we see the Holy Spirit descending like a dove. We see God saying, this is my son and whom I am pleased. Well, please listen to Him. And so, to recognize that, but also to recognize, again, like this, this reality that Holy Spirit is in us and with us. Like, wow, that starts to change everything. So, all of a sudden, and you say, “It's no big deal changing the way your family eats. Can I just say that is an enormous deal. The time that it takes to prepare the food, the thinking, the thought space, the bad recipes, it is so big.” So, you can try to minimize that. But I'm just going to say, “First of all, I'm glad there's a way forward, but I'm sorry, because that is massive. And it's a lot.” And Holy Spirit wants to meet us there. Remember Genesis 1:2, “In the beginning, God created the heavenly earth and the earth was formless and void.” Tohu wavohu in the Hebrew. “And the spirit was hovering over.” That word is merechefet. And it means to hover, to brood like a mama eagle. One rabbi translated it as to flutter. And what is the spirit fluttering? Remember in the Bible, sorry to go to teaching mode, but whenever someone is introduced in scripture, the introduction is the most important. We see that in the life of Saul. He literally is hiding in baggage and can't find his own donkeys. And it plays out that way, right? So, how is Holy Spirit introduced? Could have entered any place and comes on the scene hovering over the chaos, the uncertainty, and the unknown. And so, here you are in that place of uncertainty and unknown, a little chaotic. And what is Holy Spirit? Here's a recipe. Doing what? Reminding you, you are loved by God. You are seen by God. You are heard by God. And you are part of this kingdom. Man, when we start to share these stories, it just, oh, it creates this hunger to experience and know the spirit more. Laura Dugger: (40:32 - 42:02) It does, and it's so humbling, just his loving kindness. I want to make sure that you're up to date with our latest news. We have a new website. You can visit thesavvysauce.com and see all of the latest updates. You may remember Francie Heinrichson from episode 132, where we talked about pursuing our God-given dreams. She is the amazing businesswoman who has carefully designed a brand-new website for Savvy Sauce Charities. And we are thrilled with the final product. So, I hope you check it out. There you're going to find all of our podcasts, now with show notes and transcriptions listed, a scrapbook of various previous guests, and an easy place to join our email list to receive monthly encouragement and questions to ask your loved ones, so that you can have your own practical chats for intentional living. You will also be able to access our donation button or our mailing address for sending checks that are tax deductible, so that you can support the work of Savvy Sauce Charities and help us continue to reach the nations with the good news of Jesus Christ. So, make sure you visit thesavvysauce.com. Are there any other stories that come to mind to think of Holy Spirit being alive and moving and working in people's lives today? Margaret Feinberg: (42:03 - 46:15) Oh, I'll give you one that I just found. You know what's so funny? Again, when you start to use the prayer prompts, when you start to do these just like a burger, all of a sudden you're like, oh my goodness, I didn't know how many birds there were. So, went over to our friend's house. It was somebody at church. We actually, they weren't our friends at that point. We noticed that when they came to our church, the son is on the spectrum. And so, in Sunday school class would often just stare at the wall in the corner by himself, not interact a whole lot, and their daughter. And so, my husband said, hey, let's bring a meal over to them. And they invited us to stay for dinner. And so, the son comes in and he's probably maybe nine years old, wrapped up in a blanket, like a little burrito. And he won't make any eye contact with us. You know, the mom's like, say, “Hello to Margaret.” Won't interact. Kind of woombas around, disappears, comes through a few times. Finish eating. We go out in the living room. And the mom starts telling the story that she was exhausted as a mom. She was completely burnt out. And she just said, “You know what? I'm going to the reservoir and I'm going to go paddle boarding.” Just take a few minutes for myself. So, she goes out. She's paddle boarding. All of a sudden she sees like a piece of paper on the surface of the water. She looks down and she goes, what is that? So, she picks it up. Turns out to be a QR code to the zoo. Now, she doesn't know if it's used trash or what, but she's like, I'm going to keep this. She paddles some more, sees another piece of paper. It's another QR code to the zoo. She's like, maybe they blew away from the, I don't, so, she grabs it. And she prays and she says, Lord, now you know that we're a family of four. So, if we're really supposed to go to the zoo, we need four of these. Keeps paddle boarding. Finds two more. And so, she comes home and says, “Guys, we're going to try to go to the zoo. I don't even know if these work.” But next day goes to the zoo, scans them. Boop, boop, boop, boop. They all work. So, they go to the zoo. So, they're walking through. And all of a sudden, the son comes upon a display of red pandas. And he just stops in his tracks. And he stares and he watches. And the rest of the family, you know, the sister and the dad want to go on and they do. But he just says, “Mom, can we stay here?” And so, he stays there for several hours just staring in this strange connection. He's never had, Mom had never seen anything like this with the red pandas. And so, she's telling me this story. And suddenly I look around their living room and I realize there is panda paraphernalia everywhere. She looks at her son and says, “Honey, why don't you go put on your panda outfit?” Disappears, comes back in the panda outfit. And all of a sudden, he's looking at us. He's talking to us. He's engaging us. He goes over to his parents and paws them like a panda. And all of a sudden is snuggling with them. And she says that one encounter at the zoo changed their relationship with their son. She says there are days that my son will get completely overwhelmed and start having a meltdown. And she'll use panda language and go up to him and say, “Well, you know that pandas eat 13 hours a day. Maybe you need a snack.” And it is provided this connection and this new language for them as a family that they never had before. All because she went paddle boarding at the reservoir and pieces of paper started floating on the surface of the water. Friends, this is the work and power and presence of Holy Spirit. Reminding us we are loved by God. We are seen by God. We are heard by God. And we are part of this kingdom. And for your listeners, that may be strange stories of paper. And that may seem really odd. But, man, I read a book that talks about Jesus saying, “Hey, go check out the fish.” And all of a sudden a coin to pay taxes comes out of his mouth. I read a book that declares that, you know, he is the alpha and the omega. He is the beginning and the end. He knows where we are. He knows what we need. And He wants to intercept. And sometimes that shows up like recipes in your brain in the morning. Laura Dugger: (46:16 - 47:27) Amen, sister. And you can keep sharing as many stories as you want. But one more. As I was reading your book, it was actually over Easter weekend. And at that time we had some tornadoes that were passing through the Midwest where we live. And in the middle of the night, we're all up. We're in the basement. And once the sirens ceased, we got our girls back to bed. And we came and I just wondered, we came back to bed and I thought, is this just going to be for a few moments? Is it going to happen again? Are we going to be up all night and need to take cover? So, with those concerns on my mind, I crawled back into bed. And, you know, cortisol is kind of rushing through. So, I picked up your book to read. And my eyes fell to the words you quoted from part of Isaiah 31:5. So, I specifically fell to this where it says, “He will shield it and deliver it. He will pass over it and will rescue it.” And I fell asleep well knowing that I could receive comfort from Holy Spirit, that the storm had passed for the night and God was shielding our family from it. And indeed He did. They ceased. Margaret Feinberg: (47:28 - 47:42) Isn't that incredible? I mean, we talk about I mean, just that's the word of God and the power of Holy Spirit, like speaking right in that moment in that exact situation. That is awesome. Absolutely awesome. I love it. Laura Dugger: (47:43 - 48:17) So, I love just Holy Spirit is even working through the words on your pages. I want you to be encouraged. I know you've prayed over this resource, but it's so incredible. Somebody once said that books are little missionaries. And it's so true throughout the world. You have no idea who's cuddled up in bed reading these words and getting to encounter him. So, thank you for all of your work for this. But Margaret, do you have any other practical tips that you want to impart to us so that each of us can cultivate the fruit of spirit in our lives? Margaret Feinberg: (48:18 - 50:39) Yeah, I would say, you know, if you're if you're new to this and this idea, you know, pick up a copy of The Gods You Need to Know. There's also a Bible study. I am passionate about doing this in community. The Holy Spirit, we often in the Americana church, think of our little personal private relationship with Jesus. And that's not church history. That's not the work of God. Since the beginning of time, it has always been through relationships and community and recognizing that each of us has something to bring to the table in relationship with God and each other and gifts and talents and insights. I am in my questions. I think I referred to this later or earlier about, you know, I surveyed a bunch of people in my newsletter just about, hey, so, how do you recognize Holy Spirit? One lady responded and she said, “Well, I recognize Holy Spirit because whenever I'm lost, I ask Holy Spirit for directions, and I just know where to go.” And she goes and it happens over and over in, you know, neighborhoods when I'm driving, when I'm going places. And I thought, okay, so, first I'll just be honest. My first thought was that's weird. I haven't heard that before. And we assign anything weird that we aren't familiar with. And then I thought a little longer. I thought, man, I want her on my team. I want her on my team because I get lost all the time. And I think that at times, sometimes we encounter people who encounter the Spirit differently than us. Remember that neurodiversity, but to recognize living in relationship, hearing how Holy Spirit works in different, sharing those stories. There's something contagious and powerful in it. So, I would say definitely pursue Holy Spirit in relationship with others. Get together with others. Start talking about this. Start praying together. Holy Spirit, we want to know you. You know, it's okay to say, Holy Spirit, in the past, I've seen really unhealthy things. Or nobody's really taught me about you. But I trust that as the Spirit of the living God that you want to reveal yourself. Just start praying, Holy Spirit, I want all of you. See what happens over the course of a week or two of praying that. And what you become aware of. What Bible passages flutter through your mind. What conversations you suddenly stumble upon. What answers to things you've been plagued with suddenly come. I trust God that if you ask and you honestly pursue, God will show up and show off. Laura Dugger: (50:41 - 51:45) I completely agree. And now I'm curious to look up. I feel like the Lord has kind of put on my mind the word weird this year a few times. Because truly, when you think of what he did, even in the Old Testament, think of Noah, just like, okay, I'm obeying. I'm putting nails in this wood for never seeing rain. It's weird what we're called to sometimes. And I think that's what can make me hesitate for obedience sometimes. Like, that feels weird. Or I don't want people to think I'm weird. So, I'm going to look up the definition of weird. I'd love to read it to you. Okay, so, I just looked up the definition of weird. And it says, suggesting something supernatural or uncanny. And I think we should reframe the word weird. And when we're invited into something weird by supernatural God of the universe, that's an incredible invitation, like you say, to adventure. So, I hope we can embrace the weird. Margaret Feinberg: (51:47 - 54:41) And to recognize that feeling of, I don't want to do this. This feels strange. That is universal. That is not you. That is not unique. And for all of our listeners and viewers, I have it. Everybody has it. When we're trying to discern, you know, if something is prompted by the Holy Spirit, number one, is this, does this align with scripture? And does it align with the character of God? Does it increase my dependence on God? Which means it's probably going to go against my natural instinct, which unfortunately is pretty self-word rather than outward. Does it cause me to love God and love others more? And so, of course, Holy Spirit is going to be working in this expansive ground to pull us away from our self-word direction outward. And that is always going to be stretching and feel strange. And sometimes we're not going to see the outcome. And we've got to become comfortable with that. We are not responsible for the outcome. We are responsible for obedience. Some time ago, I swim a lot. And I just felt just in my gut, like, talk to the person in the lane next to you. And so, I go out swimming, and he's next to me, and I'm like, okay. And so, I started this conversation with this elderly gentleman. And I'll just be honest. It was more like a non-versation. I mean, we talked about sports ball teams and the weather and nothing. I really cared. Nothing deep. Nothing meaningful. And on one hand, maybe I misheard. Okay. But no harm, no foul. I mean, I showed kindness to a stranger. Loved others. Like, there's no, like, okay. You know, on the other hand, I will never know what might have happened. Maybe he felt left alone. Maybe he felt seen. But the outcome doesn't matter. And so, there are going to be times that we step out, and we see it, and we encounter it, and it's so exciting. And there's going to be other times that we go to that thing, and we go, Lord, I didn't even know what that was. But maybe that was about quick obedience. You know, almost like building a muscle, getting stronger to say, you did it then. I'm going to keep challenging. I'm going to give you opportunities to do this again and again. Because I want you on the front lines of, you know, eyes are searching to and fro for people who are, you know, obedient, quick to respond, that Holy Spirit wants to use. And so, know that not seeing a result, totally normal. Keep going. Keep going. Because you will see responses sometimes. And it is awesome. And in part of that, it's almost like building a muscle that I think God is so gracious and so loving kind that he will show you, like, quick outcomes sometimes when you respond to that little impulse to keep you going. But there are going to be times you're not going to see them, but he's still at work. Because, again, you may be one of 17 people in a long chain where the fruit or the outcome as part of God's kingdom is still coming. And after a while, it's fine to be number 4, 7, 9. You don't always have to be number 17. Laura Dugger: (54:42 - 55:06) That's so good. That is such the biblical principle of being faithful with little. And then sometimes He allows us to be faithful with much. And, Margaret, this is not your only resource that you've written for all of us to enjoy. Can you share some of your other resources and what's available or what you've learned that we may learn if we pick up a copy? Margaret Feinberg: (55:06 - 56:31) Yeah. You know, I've definitely the most passive. I just gave four years of my life to this book and Bible study. I do a ridiculous amount of research, so, I'm very, very slow. So, top would be The God You Need to Know book and Bible study. But I think another one, and you referenced it earlier, is a book called Fight Back with Joy, and it's also a Bible study. And it just takes a look. You know, it tells a little bit about my cancer story, but it's really about anybody who's battling anything. You know, sometimes in life we pick the battles, and sometimes the battles pick us. And sometimes that's in your marriage, maybe a custody battle. It may be a health issue. It may be a financial calamity. It may be the loss of a business. There's just so much in a strange relationship with a kid that you love so much. And in that darkness, you know, it's so easy to sink. And this book and study is just, it shows that more than whimsy, joy is the weapon we use to fight life's battles. And gives just tons of practical tactics on how to enact that and what that looks like, and how, most importantly, how to rally around others in a healthy, beautiful way when they are in the midst of that. I think one of the failures of the church today is to really equip and train believers of every size and form of how to love others well in the midst of their pain. What to say, what not to say, how to give, how to support. And this book and resource really does that well. Laura Dugger: (56:32 - 56:43) Oh, so grateful for all of those. We'll make sure and add a link in the show notes. And if we want to connect or follow you after today's conversation, where would you like to direct us online? Margaret Feinberg: (56:44 - 57:09) You can find me at my website at Margaret Feinberg. I do my most loving of my people, I'll just be honest, through my e-newsletter. I mean, I sit down, I pray over, I pour my heart and my life into that. It's quiet. Nobody ever sees it. I am also on socials, on Instagram, at Facebook, at MA Feinberg, at Margaret Feinberg. But I would love to connect with you. And if anybody wants to email, my email is hello@margaretfeinberg.com. Laura Dugger: (57:09 - 57:26) Love it. Thank you for sharing all of that. And you may be aware that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge or discernment. And so, as my final question for you today, Margaret, what is your savvy sauce? Margaret Feinberg: (57:27 - 58:05) My savvy sauce is waking up every day and asking the Holy Spirit one question. When I don't know what to pray, I just say, “Holy Spirit, order my steps.” And if you will do this, you will do this for just 15 days. I have a belief. It may just change the course of your life. The great part, it takes less than 30 seconds. This is not doing heavy lifting. This is not time consuming, man. If you're raising those littles and you are overwhelmed, if you're running a business and you are overwhelmed, something very simple like this can change everything. Laura Dugger: (58:06 - 58:10) So good. And you are so obviously connected to the vine, to the Lord. And I just want you to receive this, the fruit of the spirit. I have experienced every single one in this conversation from engaging with you today. You are loving, joy, peace, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. And all wrapped into one. So, praise the Lord for the way He made you. You are an absolute delight. I have enjoyed this so much. Thank you for being my guest. Margaret Feinberg: (58:10 - 58:11) What a privilege and joy. Grateful for you. Laura Dugger: (58:11 - 1:02:30) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you. Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him. And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started. First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process. And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
On this week's episode, Mom and Me discuss Neptune's final 10 weeks in the sign of Pisces.
Is your toddler struggling with constipation, withholding poop, or afraid to go? You're not alone!! and it's so common in the toddler years, so let's figure out WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT!In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Caitlin O'Connor (a holistic family doctor and mom) to unpack what's really going on with your child's digestion and how to naturally help things… move again.We cover what normal toddler poop should look like, how to prevent constipation through diet and routine, what to do if your little one is already constipated, and when it's time to call your pediatrician. Plus, Dr. Caitlin shares gentle, realistic advice for toddlers who are scared to poop because it's hurt before, and how parents can rebuild trust and confidence around potty time.We dive into: – Why toddler constipation is so common – What a healthy gut microbiome looks like – What normal toddler poop should look like (and what's not normal) – Daily habits to prevent constipation naturally – What to do when your toddler is already constipated – How to help toddlers afraid to poop after pain or withholding – When to talk to your pediatrician about constipation----------------------------------------------------------------------------IMPORTANT LINKS•✨ Join our Mom Club on Patreon HERE ✨
AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT•Halloween is just an excuse to talk about the Monster Cereal Mascots! •Corpse Tour guy deserves more than YOU! •Thanks, Patrons! •Funding offers. •The cost of store exclusive covers. •A new printing of an old Patrick comic book project. •When we used to exhaust ourselves hosting events. This episode is dedicated to giving everyone the same experience.---------- This episode was not digitally edited by Cleanvoice. How'd it sound? Contest of Challengers #756 Theme: Adam WarRock (with Mikal kHill) Intro/Outro: James VanOsdol "Patrick" Voices: Richie Kotzen, Christopher Daniels, James Acaster, Sue (Trent's Mom), RJ City, Sebastian Bach, Arune Singh, James VanOsdol "Dal" Voices: James VanOsdol, RJ City, Dalton Castle, Sue (Trent's Mom), Kevin Conroy, Kris Statlander, Skye Blue, Bryce Remsberg, Arune Singh Dal and Patrick Artwork: Daimon Hampton ----------Challengers Comics + Conversation 1845 N Western Ave • Chicago, IL 60647 773.278.0155 • ChallengersComics.com
There will be no explanation of the title. Join the AniTAY crew to learn more, and to explore the Fall 2025 Anime Season! This episode's members: Hybridmink, Requiem, Marquan and DocKev with Reikaze handling the editing duties.The AniTAY Podcast is a bi-weekly podcast brought to you every other Wednesday. It is available on all your favorite podcast services! If you like us, be sure to subscribe to your favorite service and give us 5 stars! Your support is much appreciated and will help us grow and continue to provide this style of content.ItineraryIntro: 0:00:00–0:01:05Housekeeping : 0:01:05–0:04:34ShowsA Star Brighter Than the Sun : 0:04:34–0:09:27SANDA : 0:09:27–0:15:40Touring After the Apocalypse : 0:15:40–0:24:14Dad is a Hero, Mom is a Spirit, I'm a Reincarnator : 0:24:14–0:27:26Wandance : 0:27:26–0:31:35GNOSIA : 0:31:35–0:36:31Hybrid Grab Bag : 0:36:31–0:39:01My Status as an Assassin Obviously Exceeds the Hero's 0:39:01–0:44:42One-Punch Man Season 3 : 0:44:42–0:47:39SPY x FAMILY Season 3 : 0:47:39–0:56:46The Dark History of the Reincarnated Villainess : 0:56:46–0:59:26Magic Knight Rayearth 0:59:26–1:01:15Question of the week: Which property deserves a better anime adaptation than what it got? 1:01:15–1:25:41End 1:25:41–1:27:08Missed the previous episode of the AniTAY Podcast? Check it out here: https://medium.com/anitay-official/anitay-podcast-s10-e17-enshitificationand-the-fecal-charge-d168c4582ace
Send us a textWe explore determination as a teachable, visible habit that kids absorb by watching us. From a slow start to 17,250 downloads, we show how small goals, persistence, and self-compassion turn moms into mentors.• reframing from nurturer to mentor• why modeling beats lecturing for kids• defining clear, achievable goals• staying persistent through slow seasons• learning from challenges with flexibility• practicing self-discipline without perfectionism• reconnecting to motivation rooted in children's needs• simple habits that make resilience visible at homeIf you did, leave me some feedback. I'd love to hear from you because we are determined as moms.https://singlemomsunitedpodcast.com/As Mom's we are more than nurturers we are Mentors to our children.
Interview Date: May 11th, 2025Houston Ballet soloist Jacquelyn Long traces her path from living-room pliés with her mom (a former pro) to summer intensives, HBII, and the main company. She shares how relationships and coachability shaped her trajectory, why modern/contemporary versatility now matters as much as classical technique, and how social media helps—but shouldn't replace—the messy, vital process. We dig into audition materials, the “right” photos, favorite roles (Sylvia! Cinderella!), life as a working ballerina (weekly schedule, contracts, AGMA, benefits), pointe-shoe realities, nerves and mindset, longevity habits, and her growing passion for choreography. Plus: where to see her onstage next and practical encouragement for dancers finding their own path.Show Notes:(0:41) - Intro & bio; welcome Jacquelyn Long (2:20) - How she started; early training at home (2:24) - Mom steps back; Janina trains until 11 (3:14) - Houston Ballet intensives begin at 14 (5:31) - “Go where you're liked” scholarships lesson (6:49) - Relationships, coachability, work ethic matter(12:20) - Be versatile: modern/contemporary equals ballet (14:03) - Social media's role; process over perfection (16:03) - Audition toolkit: video, resume, show both styles (18:49) - Best photos: true headshot, first arabesque (20:32) - Favorite roles; Sylvia, Cinderella, new premieres (22:21) - Business mindset: many paths, trust timing (25:38) - Next chapter: choreography alongside performing (45:16) - Contracts, AGMA, pay cadence, key benefits(54:55) - Pointe shoes: custom Bloch, company-paid(57:46) - Final advice; where to see Houston BalletBiography:Jacquelyn Long began her ballet training under the direction of her mother, Suzanne Lownsbury, and Janina Michalski at Ballet Virginia. In 2010, she joined Houston Ballet II (HBII). After two years in the second company, Jacquelyn joined Houston Ballet as a Corps de Ballet member in 2012. Ms. Long was promoted to Soloist in 2016.Ms. Long has performed leading roles such as the title role in Stanton Welch's Sylvia; Hermia in John Neumeier's A Midsummer Night's Dream; Gamzatti in Stanton Welch's La Bayadère; Myrtha in Stanton Welch's Giselle; Sugar Plum Fairy and Clara in Stanton Welch's The Nutcracker; Valencienne in Ronald Hynd's The Merry Widow; Carabosse and Princess Florine in Ben Stevenson's The Sleeping Beauty; Snow Queen in Ben Stevenson's The Nutcracker; Miranda in Stanton Welch's Romeo and Juliet. She has also danced featured roles in George Balanchine's Serenade, Emeralds, Concerto Barocco, and Symphony in C; Jiří Kylián's Stepping Stones, Dreamtime, and Wings of Wax; Justin Peck's Year of the Rabbit and Under the Folding Sky; William Forsythe's Artifact Suite and In the middle somewhat elevated; Jorma Elo's ONE/end/ONE; Jerome Robbin's Fancy Free; Stanton Welch's Divergence, Paquita, Velocity, Maninyas, Tapestry, and Son of Chamber Symphony.Ms. Long was also featured in the Dancer's Spotlight of the 2013 October/November issue of Pointe Magazine and in the 2013 February issue of Dance Spirit Magazine.Connect on Social Media:Website - https://www.houstonballet.org/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jac_long/
Alisher Rakhimov, is a product manager at Fluxon and author of Make Pigs Fly. In this episode, Ali offers ways to help PMs level up their game. Along the way we discuss – the Journey (1:45), Soviet Union (6:45), That Dog Won't Hunt (11:45), Defy Mediocracy (14:00), Explain your job to Mom (17:20), Juice Not Worth the Squeeze (22:15), Ask Stupid Questions (30:30), and Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda (36:15). Get a copy of Ali's book @Make Pigs Fly This podcast is partnered with LukeLeaders1248, a nonprofit that provides scholarships for the children of military Veterans. Send a donation, large or small, through PayPal @LukeLeaders1248; Venmo @LukeLeaders1248; or our website @ www.lukeleaders1248.com. You can also donate your used vehicle @ this hyperlink – CARS donation to LL1248. Music intro and outro from the creative brilliance of Kenny Kilgore. Lowriders and Beautiful Rainy Day.
A crisis at the dog shelter leads us on a heartwarming mission to find a solution for all the houseless pups. With a bit of creativity and teamwork, we transform a local park into the world's first “Pupple Park,” where people and pups spend time together. By the end of the day, the dogs find new homes, and our hearts are full of joy from helping our furry friends.
A crisis at the dog shelter leads us on a heartwarming mission to find a solution for all the houseless pups. With a bit of creativity and teamwork, we transform a local park into the world's first “Pupple Park,” where people and pups spend time together. By the end of the day, the dogs find new homes, and our hearts are full of joy from helping our furry friends.
"Is this going to be in my neck or in my back? And will it be fast?" Those were Carob Marcelle Bartholomew's thoughts as she lay on the ground during Charlie Kirk's assassination listening for bullets whizzing overhead that tragic day in Utah.A homeschool teacher to 83 students and Utah State Director for Moms for America, Carob had been assaulted in the past in Seattle for holding a sign that said "character matters, reject CRT"—punched in the face by someone who "could have been a relative." Now she teaches her students that "the first place that you are enslaved is in your mind" and uses Peter Boghossian's techniques to get them debating everything from armed teachers to gun control, often keeping them 90 minutes past dismissal because "they're hungry for real conversation." After witnessing Charlie Kirk's murder, Carob organized a walk for students back to the shooting site, telling them to wear "I am Charlie" shirts because "another thing that we're constantly saying is our kids are resilient while we're watering them down and making them so weak and mentally fragile." Her message to anyone self-censoring: "I believe you have a right to say even the ugliest things. In fact, I want you to say the ugliest things because it gives me proof that it's happening." With her Mom's group declaring "I'm more in than ever" despite the violence, Carob's rallying cry is simple: "I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees." Check out Carob's YouTube channel “Be Not Afraid” at: https://www.youtube.com/@CarobMarcelle
Parenting teens through the college process can stir up a mix of pride, fear, and anxiety that no one really prepares us for. Whether you're deep in the application season or already adjusting to the empty nest, this stage of motherhood is full of moments that test our ability to let go. In this episode, I'm sharing what I wish I'd known before my boys went through the college process—the truths that helped me stop overthinking, ease my anxiety, and show up as the calm, confident mom I wanted to be. You'll hear the lessons that changed everything for me: why college admissions are less about your child's worth and more about perspective, how struggle is the foundation of growth, and what it really looks like to support your teen without losing yourself in the process. These insights aren't just for moms in the thick of applications—they're for anyone learning how to trust their child's journey while staying grounded in their own. Because the mindset that helps us let go is the same one that helps us reconnect—with our kids, and with ourselves.
A crisis at the dog shelter leads us on a heartwarming mission to find a solution for all the houseless pups. With a bit of creativity and teamwork, we transform a local park into the world's first “Pupple Park,” where people and pups spend time together. By the end of the day, the dogs find new homes, and our hearts are full of joy from helping our furry friends.
A crisis at the dog shelter leads us on a heartwarming mission to find a solution for all the houseless pups. With a bit of creativity and teamwork, we transform a local park into the world's first “Pupple Park,” where people and pups spend time together. By the end of the day, the dogs find new homes, and our hearts are full of joy from helping our furry friends.
It's the grand finale of Skinnytober and we're going out with a bang because the parent are here! Karina and Mayra sit down with Mom and Dad for the most unfiltered family episode yet. From the questions they've always been too scared to ask, to hearing their parents' spine-chilling stories growing up in Mexico, this one's equal parts hilarious and heartwarming. And of course, we had to end the season with a round of “Truth or Shot” because how else are we finding out who their favorite child really is? Tune in for laughs and a little family tea to close out Skinnytober! This Episode is Sponsored By:Macy's- Macy's- Shop Macy's sale in stores or online at macys.comOld Navy- Shop Old Navy's holiday lineup in-store or online at oldnavy.com Shop Chins and Giggles Favorite Picks:https://shopmy.us/shop/chinsandgiggles
Whether you’re the mother of a toddler or an angsty teenager, one thing we all have in common is the need for regular prayer. Hillary Ferrer and Julie Loos developed a habit of journaling prayers early on in their lives, which became the foundation for their prayer habit with their families. They share how raw, honest prayer is essential to navigating the ups and downs of the parenting journey. Receive a copy of Honest Prayers for Mama Bears and an audio download of "Building an Honest Prayer Life as a Mom" for your donation of any amount! Plus, receive member-exclusive benefits when you make a recurring gift today. Your monthly support helps families thrive. Get More Episode Resources If you enjoyed listening to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, please give us your feedback.
EZ off till Monday, 11/30/25. Enjoy three Patreon Bonus encore showsSegments include:*EZ continues to marvel at the shit storm on the Segment 18 Page.*More fallout from the latest Biden debacle.*Another video that illustrates how fucked up Biden is.*Biden's brain is similar to the way Rick James brain was.*Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy comes up with a weird reason why he's not suspending his star player for driving drunk.*Mike Gundy "I'm a man, I'm 40" rant*"Do they have pride, Danny?" football coach un-hinged rant from back in the day.*Canadian sniper is perplexed at the security protecting Trump. Thinks it was an inside job.*Amanda is quick to bust out some "facts" about how the Secret Service operates when it comes to protections. She says she learned these "facts" from Ben Shapiro and this shitty article.*EZ's Mom would have been 88 today. Is she giving people the finger in this pic?*Trump and Vance coming to GR to meet with the locals.*We check out Amanda's "source" for Secret Service protocals.*The chick who screwed up the anthem provides a plot twist.*Joe Namath hammered video from back in the day.*Roast beef rip off leads to EZ detailing his horrible behavior working in the food industry as a teen and his criminal enterprise.Our Sponsors:* Check out Secret Nature and use my code ZANE for a great deal: https://secretnature.com* Check out Uncommon Goods: https://uncommongoods.com/zaneSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-eric-zane-show-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Ian Clark, founder and CEO of Activation Products (code: BIOHACKINGBRITTANY), unpacks why iodine sits at the center of metabolic health, thyroid function, and oral ecology — and how simple mineral habits can shift energy, hormones, teeth and gums, and even pregnancy outcomes. We dive into iodine vs iodide, receptor "blockers" like fluoride and chlorine, Solaris for the mouth, and how to build results-driven routines without overwhelm. This episode is perfect for busy moms and women who want simple, pregnancy-smart mineral habits to boost thyroid energy, clear brain fog, and strengthen teeth and gums—without complex stacks or overwhelm. WE TALK ABOUT: 07:40 - Why iodine is important for your health 11:35 - Iodine vs. iodide and the form your body actually uses 15:40 - Pregnancy and postpartum priorities for iodine sufficiency 16:45 - The surprising story behind today's low iodine RDA 27:55 - Beating plaque at home with a minimalist mineral routine 39:50 - Minerals as root-cause medicine: Iodine, magnesium, selenium 46:10 - Mom-proof health shifts: Tiny habits, big wins 50:35 - Start-here essentials: A simple, affordable mineral toolkit 59:00 - Daily practices for maintaining "perfect health" biomarkers SPONSORS: Feeling bloated, tired, or hormonally off? Try BiOptimizers — supplements that actually absorb and work for women's health. Get 15% off at bioptimizers.com/biohackingbrittany with code BIOHACKINGBRITTANY. Join me in Costa Rica for Optimize Her, a 5-night luxury women's retreat in Costa Rica with yoga, healing rituals, and biohacking workshops—only 12 spots available. RESOURCES: Trying to conceive? Join my Baby Steps Course to optimize your fertility with biohacking. Free gift: Download my hormone-balancing, fertility-boosting chocolate recipe. Explore my luxury retreats and wellness events for women. Shop my faves: Check out my Amazon storefront for wellness essentials. Activation Products' website (get 15% discount with code: BIOHACKINGBRITTANY) Ian Clark's Instagram LET'S CONNECT: Instagram, TikTok, Facebook Shop my favorite health products Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube Music
Three words stopped time.“Mom, I'm gay.”That moment cracked Heather Hester's world wide open — and from the mess came a movement.In this raw, electric conversation, Heather shares how she transformed fear into advocacy, pain into purpose, and compassion into a system that actually scales.We talk about:What really happens when your brand is born from heartbreakThe myth of “nice” versus the strategy of kindHow to operationalize empathy without losing authorityWhy the best leadership lessons often start at homeIf you've ever wondered how to stay soft in a hard world — or how to build something real after everything breaks — this episode will hit you straight in the gut (in the best way).
Hello, sister Mom. I want to share something that's been stirring in my heart about estrangement and labels. I believe you need to hear today's episode. . I saw a supposed estrangement expert talking about estrangement in a way that piles on labels, and creates more complication in the already complex challenge of estrangement. . And while labels can sometimes give language to what's happening, more often they become boxes that keep mothers and children stuck in shame, finger-pointing and separation. But Jesus has a different way. In this episode, I want to talk with you - heart to heart - about how the medicine that heals estrangement isn't found in labels at all. Let's talk about it. . Next Steps: 1) Apply for your FREE consultation to talk to Jenny 1:1. Find out the exact path forward to feeling better and greatly increasing your chances of getting your son or daughter back in your life. And learn how estrangement coaching can get you there: www.theestrangedmomcoach.com/schedule ⬇️ 2) Access your audio meditation to help you cast your anxieties and worries about estrangement at the feet of Jesus: https://www.theestrangedmomcoach.com/meditation ⬇️ 3) Join the free Facebook support community for Christian estranged mothers: https://www.facebook.com/groups/christianestrangedmothers ⬇️ 4) Download Your Free Guide Of What To Do When Your Adult Child Estranges: https://www.theestrangedmomcoach.com/child-estrangement-next-steps . Client Reviews… ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Jenny's teachings have produced results reconnecting me with my estranged daughter I cannot express enough gratitude for the incredible support and guidance received in the most tragic time of my life from coach Jenny Good. Her faith, compassion, understanding, dedication and display of radical love has truly been life-changing for me. I was so overwhelmed with feelings of confusion, guilt, and sadness. I felt lost and didn't know how to navigate through the emotional turmoil I was experiencing. However, from the very first call, Jenny created a safe and non-judgmental space for me to share my details. Her ability to listen attentively and empathize while helping me understand a different way of thinking is truly remarkable. She understood my feelings and offered tools each session in ways I have not experienced even from therapy. I am forever thankful for the medicine she has poured into me to be the very best version of myself! This has rippled into all areas of life for me. Jenny's teachings have produced results reconnecting me with my estranged daughter! Thank you for being the vessel of unwavering faith & love that so many of us could benefit from, estranged or not. A true Godsend. - Melinda Wyman . ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I am living a truly happy life, and I reconciled with my son Having a coach and mentor who is rooted in Christ is very important. I've experienced so much inner healing with Jenny as my Coach. I am living a truly happy life, and I reconciled with my son! I feel empowered to continue stepping into my full power as a mother and to live a life where my children matter, but they don't determine my worth. I am me again. - Carol Adams
You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I am giving you another sneak peek inside my Peaceful Parenting Membership! Listen in as I interview Tosha Schore as part of our membership's monthly theme of “Aggression”. We discuss why kids get aggressive, how to handle it no matter how many kids you have, and dealing with the aggressive behaviour from many angles.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:35 Is a child's aggression OUR fault as the parent?* 13:00 Why are some kids aggressive?* 15:00 How do you handle aggression when you have multiple kids?* 22:00 A new sibling being born is often a trigger for aggression in the older child* 29:00 When you feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around your child* 35:00 How naming feelings can be a trigger for kids* 37:00 When aggression is name calling between siblings* 42:00 Friends- roughhousing play or aggression?* 49:00 Coming from aggression at all angles* 50:35 Using limits when there are safety issuesResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Tosha's Websitexx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERETranscript: Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Tosha Shore, a peaceful parenting expert on aggression. I invited her into the Peaceful Parenting Membership a few months ago to talk to us about aggression and to answer our members' aggression-specific questions.So many fantastic questions were asked. I know they'll help you if you're at all having any issues with aggression. And remember, aggression isn't just hitting. It's any expression of the fight, flight, or freeze response—including yelling, spitting, throwing things, and swearing.Tosha is such a valuable resource on this issue. I really, really admire how she speaks about aggression and the compassion that she brings to both kids and parents who are experiencing aggression.One note: one of the members was okay with her question being used in the podcast, but she didn't want her voice used. So in the podcast today, I paraphrased her question and follow-up comments to preserve the flow of the conversation.As I mentioned, this is a sneak peek inside the Peaceful Parenting Membership. If you would like to join us, we would love to have you. It is such a wonderful space filled with human touch and support. There are so many benefits, and it's my favorite part of my work as a parenting coach.We'll put the link to join us in the show notes, or you can visit reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership. If you know anyone who could use this podcast, please share it with them. And as always, we would appreciate your five-star ratings and reviews on your favorite podcast app.Let's meet Tosha.Hello, Tosha, welcome to the membership. I'm so excited that you're going to be here talking to us about aggression today. So maybe you could start out by just giving a brief introduction of who you are and what you do.Tosha: Absolutely. So my name is Tosha Shore and I am the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where we are on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time.I'm also the co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. And I work with a lot of families with young kids who are struggling with hard behaviors like aggression, and my goal is to give you all hope and inspiration—to keep on keeping on with peaceful parenting practices because they do absolutely work. Even, or maybe even especially, for really hard behaviors.Sarah: I love that you added that—especially for hard behaviors—because I think there's this fallacy out there that, yeah, peaceful parenting's nice if you have easy kids, but, you know, my kid needs more “discipline” or whatever. So I love that you called that out, 'cause I think it's absolutely true also.So maybe—just—we have some questions from our members that people sent in, and I'm not sure, some people on the call might have questions as well. But maybe we could just get started by you sort of centering us in what causes aggression.I was just on a call with some clients whose child was having some issues at school, which, if we have time, I might ask you about. The mom was saying, “Oh, you know, he's being aggressive at school because I sometimes shout or lose my temper.” And I said to her, you know, of course that plays a part in it, but there are lots of kids whose parents never shout or lose their temper who still are aggressive.So why is that? What causes aggression?Tosha: I mean, I think there are a few things that can cause aggression. I often will say that aggression is fear in disguise, because I've found that a lot of kids who are getting in trouble at school—they're yelling, they may be hurting siblings or hurting their parents—they are scared inside.Sometimes it's an obvious fear to us. Like maybe they're playing with a peer and the peer does something that feels threatening—goes like that in their face or something—and instead of just, you know, play-fighting back, they clock the kid or whatever.And sometimes the fears are a little bit more hidden and maybe could fall even into the category of lagging skills. I don't even like to say “lagging skills,” but, like, skills that maybe they haven't developed yet. School's a perfect example. I think a lot of kids often will be acting out in school—even aggressively—because they're being asked to do something that they don't yet have the skills to do.And that's pretty frustrating, right? It's frustrating to be asked, and then demanded, to perform in a certain way or accomplish something specific when you don't either feel the confidence to do it, or you don't yet have the skills. Which sort of spills into another reason that kids can get aggressive, and that's shame.We can feel really ashamed if everybody else in the class, for example, or a lot of kids, are able to just answer the questions straight out when the teacher asks—and maybe we get stage fright, or maybe we didn't quite understand the example, or whatever it is.So I definitely want to pull that parent away from blaming themselves. I think we always tend—we have a negative bias, right? Our brain has a negative bias. All of us. And I think we tend to go towards taking it on ourselves: It's our fault. If we had just done X, Y, or Z, or if we hadn't done X, Y, or Z, my child wouldn't be acting out this way.But I always say to parents, well, that's a choice. There's like a 50/50, right? We could choose to say, you know what, it could be that I did something, but I don't think so. That's the other 50%. But we always go with the “it's my fault” 50.So part of my job, I think, is to encourage parents to lean into the “It's not my fault.” Not in the sense of nothing I do has an impression on my child, but in the sense of: it's important that we as parents all acknowledge—and I truly believe this—that we are doing our best all the time.There is no parent I've ever met who purposefully doesn't behave in a way they feel good about, or purposefully holds back their love, or purposefully yells, or anything like that. If we could do differently, we absolutely would as parents.Sarah: Mm-hmm. So more like, “I didn't cause this. There's maybe something I could do, but I didn't cause this.” Right.Tosha: I mean, like, look, let's just be honest. Maybe she did cause it, okay? I mean, I've done things—maybe I've caused things—but so what, right? There's nothing I can do at this point.I can either sort of wallow in, “Oh gosh, did I cause this?” Or I could say, probably I didn't, because there are so many other factors. Or I could say, you know, maybe I did, but one, I'm confident that I did the best that I could in that moment.And two—and this is an important part—is that I am doing whatever work I need. I'm getting the support I need, right? I'm showing up to Sarah's membership or this call or whatever, to take steps to do better in the future.So if we're just making a mistake and not doing anything to try to behave better next time, that's not worth much either. Like, I remember once when my kids were little—I don't even remember what I was doing, I don't remember what the situation was—but I do remember very clearly that I apologized. I said, “I'm sorry, I won't do that again.”And my kid goes, “You always say that and then you do it again.”And that was true. But if that were true because I was just saying “I'm sorry” and going about my next thing and not paying attention to the why or getting to the crux of what was causing me to behave that way, then that would be disingenuous.But in fact, I was doing my own emotional work to be able to show up more often in ways that I felt good about. So I could genuinely feel good about that apology, and I could not take it personally. I could say, “You know what, you're absolutely right. I do keep making this mistake. And I want you to know that I am working hard to try to change that behavior.” And that was true.Sarah: Yeah. Makes sense. So you mentioned before that you want parents to see aggression as fear in disguise. And you mentioned that the fear can be something obvious, like someone's gotten in your face and you're scared. Or it can be fear of not being able to meet the expectations of your teacher or your parent. Or shame that can come from maybe even having made a mistake.You didn't say this, but I'm thinking of something common that often happens—like a kid makes a mistake or does something they didn't mean to do, and then they lash out. Right?So how do we get from those feelings of fear and shame to aggression? Because that doesn't happen for every kid, right? Some kids will just cry or say something, but then some kids really lash out and hit, throw things, shout, scream. So how does that happen? How do we get from A to B?Tosha: Well, I think all kids are different, just like all adults are different. And when we encounter fear—any of us—we go into fight, flight, or freeze. And kids who are aggressive go into fight.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: So some kids do and some kids don't. And you know, I don't have any scientific research to back this up, but I would say part of this is DNA, part of this is the nature of the kid.Sarah: Right.Tosha: And I think that's also going back to the self-blame. I've got three kids, they're all very different, right? Same house, same parents, same everything. They're different. They came into this world different, and they're still different.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: And I can help guide them, but I can't change the core of who they are. So I think that aggression is those kids who go from “I'm scared, I'm having to protect myself” to that attack mode.Sarah: Right. Makes sense. And just—I mean, I know this—but is it in the child's control?Tosha: No, it's not in the child's control. It is absolutely a reaction. And I think that's why I feel like having that concept of aggression being fear in disguise can be so helpful from a mindset perspective for parents. Because it's so much easier to have empathy for a child who we see as being scared, right? Than one who we see as being a jerk, picking on his brother, or disrespectful, rude—all of those terms we use when we're struggling.Sarah: Right. Well, there may be a few other points that I want you to make, but they might come out in the context of some questions from our members.So I know at least two people on the call right now had sent me a question in case they couldn't make it. But I'm going to ask Sonya—are you willing, Sonya, to unmute yourself and ask your question?Sarah: Hi.Sonia: Sure. Hi.Sarah: Hi, Sonya.(Sarah narrating): Sonia wonders how to handle aggression when you have multiple kids. She has three kids—a 7-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a baby—and it's often her 7-year-old who reacts in fight mode. She's trying to figure out how to keep her cool and also how to handle it and take care of the other kids and manage him.Tosha: Yeah. So one thing that I noticed is how Sonia kind of glossed over the keeping her own cool. And I want to bring that to everybody's attention, because we all do that. But actually, when we're dealing with aggression, we have to come at it from a lot of different angles.There's no one magic pill I can give her, but it has to actually start—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: So it doesn't mean we have to reach Nirvana or become the Buddha or never yell before we can make any progress. But we can't put that aside and just go, “Okay, what do I do to get my kid to stop doing this?”Because our energy has a huge effect on our kids' aggression. And usually—well, let me just say—it makes sense to ask yourself questions like: how am I feeling about this? Because most people are feeling scared—either scared of their child (“they're going to hurt me” or “they're going to hurt a sibling, hurt the baby”), or scared for their child (“he's going to end up in juvenile hall, he's going to end up the next school shooter”).We project forward. So if we're having fear for our child or fear of our child, that child is soaking up that feeling. And I don't know about you, but I've never met anybody who could actually change their behaviors—who was inspired, motivated, or able to change their behaviors—when everyone around them was scared of them or scared for them.Maybe occasionally there's somebody who's like, “I'm going to prove the point because the world is against me,” right? And this is like a Hollywood film. But most of us don't work that way.So I want to come at it from all the angles. There's the “take care of yourself” piece. But at the same time, we have to keep our kids safe.One thing that I think really helps is to pay attention to the pattern of when the aggression is happening, so she's not surprised. Because if we're surprised, then we act in surprising ways to ourselves. We don't show up as our best.So pay attention. Does this happen at a certain time of day? When there's a certain constellation of kids playing together? When one particular child is present? When you're doing something specific? If there's another parent—when they're present or absent? Pay attention to these things so that you can show up ready.Because if you can change your story in your head from, “I have no idea when this happens, it happens all the time, it happens out of the blue”—which is really disempowering—to “I've noticed that every afternoon when I pick my 7-year-old up from school and bring him home, then I go in the kitchen to make a snack… and then he lays on top of the baby,” or whatever—then it is much more manageable.Then you can say, “Okay, well, I remember this call that I was on and they talked about maybe there being some fear in there. Well, I don't know what the fear is, I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to be ready. I'm not going to let it happen.”So rather than make that snack, I'm going to make it before he comes home, or I'm going to just pull out some frozen pizza. But I'm going to stay present with that child during that time and expect that the upset will happen.Because then, when that child goes to lay on the baby—or whatever the aggression is—you can actually physically get in the way. You can prevent it from happening. And then what happens is, because that child—the 7-year-old—has something to push against, something preventing them from acting on their fear response, from fighting—what happens then is like a magic reaction.He's able to erupt like a volcano and release the tension, those fears, the upsets. Maybe it's 12 things that happened to him at school today. Maybe there was shame around not knowing the answer when he was called on. Whatever it was.But there's suddenly space with an attentive adult who remembers that the child is scared. So they have empathy. They're not worried, they're not caught by surprise. So we're not going to jump at them. And that child has the opportunity then to heal.That release of the feeling is what heals the child. It's like pulling up weeds in your garden by the roots, as opposed to just pulling and having them break off, and then the next day you've got the whole thing back again.So this tool—which in our book we talk about as Stay Listening, where we're staying and allowing space for the child to feel—is what, over time, will change that fight response. That's actually the gold nugget that, over time, will both change the intensity of the outbursts and also change the frequency.Is any of that landing for you?Sarah (narrating): Sonia responded that it was very helpful. She's told me before that her baby's almost one, and this started happening a lot right after she had the baby. She also says that she's done my Transform Your Family Life course, and she's still working on it. She's done more of the welcoming feelings, and she has put together that it's usually in the afternoons—so Tosha is right about that—and it's happening after school.She's also connected that there are things happening at school that aren't in line with how she and her husband want their child treated, and she thinks that's related.Tosha: Yeah. So in light of this new information, I would also say—and I'm sure Sarah's talked to you about this as well—but pouring in as much connection to that child as possible.And it can feel, especially when you have multiple kids, that it's unfair, right? One kid is getting more… Are you familiar with the concept of special times, Sarah? Is that something that you teach?Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Okay. You know, if you're doing special time—oftentimes we talk about, or I talk about at least—I'm not a “fair” kind of a person. I'm a “life's not fair” kind of a person. My kids will tell you that.But when it comes to special time, I always encourage parents to think about a week and to try to give your kids about the same amount of special time over a week. But—and here's the caveat—when we have a kid who is struggling, they are demanding more of us. They are demanding more attention. And our time didn't increase.Tosha: So that means we are going to need to devote more time. It's going to be uneven. But that child—and especially, like, this is probably the number one reason that I hear for aggression to start, and we didn't talk about this at the beginning—is when a younger sibling is born. I mean, it is so often the trigger, I can't tell you.And if I could go back to all of those parents and say, “Don't worry about being fair. Just pour as much extra love and connection and yumminess into that child who's struggling as you can. It will pay off later. You can make it up to the other kids later.” In fact, you're giving them a gift by helping their older brother, because then his behavior isn't going to have that negative effect on them.So I think that we get stuck in the fairness sometimes. I'm not saying you do this, Sonya—this is just from my experience. And then we hold back from giving that child what they need. So special time isn't the only thing. I would say: make a list of things that you do with that 7-year-old that creates laughter between you, that you both feel really good—where you have that yumminess, like, oh, you're loving on him and he's loving on you. Maybe that's shooting hoops in the front yard, or maybe it's drawing a picture together, or jumping on the trampoline, or reading a book. I mean, it could be anything at all.You can do those things, and you can do them with the other three kids around. Also, keep doing all of that stuff. And you're going to have to, I think, carve out some time for one-on-one special time—named, timed—where he gets to lead and he gets to be the boss.Sarah: That's awesome. And we always talk about equity versus equality with the sibling relationships, and I think that's—Tosha: Oh yeah. I love that.Sarah: Okay, awesome. Thank you so much. Priya, do you want me to ask your question, or do you want to ask the question since you're on the call? Maybe she's stepped away or can't unmute herself. Uh, she wants me to ask. Okay. So I'm going to find Priya's question and ask it.Uh, Priya says: “My five-year-old gets angry at anything and everything. He has zero tolerance for any kind of dislike or disagreement. We acknowledge his feelings with empathy, doing our best to stay calm and give him time to process his emotions. The only limit we consistently set is holding him from hurting people or property while he yells, screams, says hurtful things, and tries with full rage to attack us.“We're consciously making time for roughhousing, special time, connection, laughter, and tears—though he rarely cries—and we talk about asking for help before things escalate. I've been trying to track patterns by logging some incidents, but sometimes it feels completely unpredictable. We often have no idea why he's screaming. If I push a chair slightly, he gets angry. If someone else presses the elevator button, he gets upset. If he has a plan in his mind and we don't pick up on it, he becomes extremely frustrated. He gets irritated and grumpy very easily. It's gotten to the point where we feel like we have to expect an outburst at any moment. It looks like it's becoming a habit for him, and I feel like I'm starting to walk on eggshells—always watchful for what might happen when I say or do something.”Tosha: Yeah, so this is a really—believe it or not—common situation. Did she say he was five? Is that five?Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I cannot tell you the number of parents who come to me and this is what they say: “I'm walking on eggshells.” Right? If we get to the point where we're walking on eggshells, generally what that says to me is that we are not either setting enough limits or we're not setting limits effectively.And one thing that I would suggest to Priya is to take a minute to think about whether or not there are places where she's feeling resentment. That's always a good sign for me—like, if I'm feeling resentment about something, then that's probably a place I need to hold a limit. If I'm not, then there's more wiggle room.So when this is happening all the time about everything, I would say: get really clear on what limits are important to you and what limits are not. Right? So if you're in public, in the elevator, and you don't want to deal with a big meltdown about the elevator button, can you plan for that? If you know that that's an issue, when you go in, you can say to people, “Hey, my son would really like to press the buttons—what floor would you like?”Sarah: Mm-hmm. Right.Tosha: “Here's our elevator operator—exactly. What floor, please?” Or, if somebody presses the button—or if she's pressing the button—to just go in knowing, “I'm not going to press the button. I'm going to let my child do this.” And if somebody else has already pressed it, you can say, “You know what? Hey, let's take the next elevator and then we'll press it. You can press it.”So there are places where we can be flexible. But we don't want to do that all the time, because essentially what this child is showing me is that he has a real intense lack of flexibility. And ultimately, the goal that I would have for him would be—slowly, slowly and lovingly—to help him increase that flexibility. So that, yeah, maybe he's not going to say, “Oh, shoot, I'm feeling really disappointed because I didn't get to press the elevator button and I really like to do that.” But maybe instead of having a huge tantrum, he just gets a sourpuss face and crosses his arms. Okay, I'll take that. That's better. We're moving in the right direction.So it sounds like you're doing a lot of things right, but I would hone in on limit-setting. Really: are you taking the time to think about what kind of limits you want to set? Are you letting go of limits when you know that you don't have the wherewithal to stay calm in the face of the upset?So, oftentimes—I'm hearing Priya say she does a lot of Stay Listening—I would be curious to know: what does that Stay Listening look like? Because I was working with a dad this week, a client of mine, and we were talking about a situation that was going on with his kid, who was coming home really frustrated with homework. And what ended up coming out of his mouth was, “I thought I was Stay Listening, but I think I actually wasn't Stay Listening.”Right—because Stay Listening isn't about trying to calm the child, or trying to get them to stop what they're doing. It can't be with the goal of, “Let me get this kid to quiet down,” kind of a thing. Stay Listening is really holding space lovingly for whatever needs to come out, which means—yeah—all the words, all—like, we don't take them personally.Sarah: Can I just interject something? For my community, what they would recognize Stay Listening as is “welcoming feelings.” Mm-hmm. Just because that'll be a familiar phrase to them. So I just wanna—Tosha: Yeah, absolutely. Right. But “welcoming feelings”—I feel like we need to also talk about: what does that look like? Mm-hmm. What does that look like when we welcome feelings? Because, you know, you could be upset and I could just be like—Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: —like waiting for you to be done. Right? I could be like, “Okay, I'm not gonna shut you down, but, you know, hey, whatever you do, what you need to do, I'm gonna go answer my email.” That's—you know—I can “welcome” the feelings like that. But again, coming back to our energy: what energy are we bringing to that? Are we really staying present with the energy of “We are gonna get through this,” with the energy of “You are safe,” with the energy of “I'm here with you.”Mm-hmm. Right? Like, can that child sense that they're not alone—that you're on their team? And that's maybe a good litmus test. If you were to ask yourself: do you feel like your child would feel like you're on their team, or that you're butting heads? Mm-hmm. And if the answer is “butting heads,” then the question is: what can you shift so that your child will feel like, “Hey, we're in this together”?Sarah: Sounds good. Priya, I don't know if you have anything to add. It sounds like maybe she can't unmute herself, but—oh, she says he screams really loud, so we usually stay quiet and don't say anything because it's really loud. We wait for the moment to pass before we can say anything, at the same time being present. So she's saying they're trying to be present, sometimes trying to say, “I see you're really upset.”Tosha: Yeah. And so when she says—I'm sorry, it's a little bit via you here—but before, when you say, “Priya, before I say something,” what is it that you're saying? Because another thing about Stay Listening—or welcoming feelings, from my perspective—is that saying something actually doesn't really have a place. So if we need to say something, it should—I think—uh, or let me just rephrase that: I find it most effective when it's something that essentially allows that child to feel safe, to realize that they're not alone.Right—to realize that we're on their team, and to realize that it's not gonna last forever. So that they're loved—these types of things. So I wouldn't—if you're naming feelings, and I don't know that she is or isn't, but if you're naming feelings—which is something that a lot of professionals, for example, will recommend—I would play around with stopping that and seeing if that makes a difference, because sometimes that's a huge trigger for kids. And maybe even, “I see you're upset,” or whatever it is that she said—that also might be a trigger.Yeah. Don't be afraid to really not say anything at all, and just think about each of these things as an experiment. Take a day and don't say anything at all and see if it makes a difference. Other things to try—'cause it sounds like he's quite sensitive—is distance, right? How close are you to that child? Some kids don't want you all up in their face. Some kids want to be on your lap and hugged. Some kids want to be a room's distance away. So play with distance; play with tone.Sarah: Love that. Thank you so much, Tosha. Does anybody else who's on the call have a question? And if not, I have questions that were sent in, but I want to give priority to people who are here. Uh, and—and Priya says, “Thank you, Tosha.”Tosha: Yeah, my pleasure. I'm trying to work without the direct back and forth.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: No—so I hope that was helpful.Sarah: Yeah, that was great, Lindsay.Tosha: And I want to acknowledge that it is really hard. It is hard.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. It's one of the most—Tosha: It won't last forever either. Like, it's absolutely—move through. I can assure you of that.Sarah: Lindsay, do you have a question?Member B: Yes. I have a question about my son, actually. He's 10 years old, and I have a 10-year-old boy and then a 7-year-old girl. And a lot of times—there's kind of two different questions—but between the siblings, a lot of times my daughter will be, like, have verbal aggression towards him, and then he—he is my—he is a little more sensitive, and he will hold it in, and he won't spit out things back at her, but then he eventually will just hit her. And, like, he comes with the physical aggression. So kind of, as the parent, proactively trying to step in there—like, how do I handle both of those when one is verbal—maybe aggression—and one is physical? I know it can escalate there. Where do I step in?Tosha: Yeah. First of all, I just want to appreciate that you can see that there's a dynamic there. Because oftentimes we get into this place as parents where we're like, “This person is the aggressor and this person is the victim.” Because oftentimes there is a pattern like that, but it's—it's beautiful that you can see this dance that they're doing.Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And so if you see it kind of as a dance, you can interplay around and experiment with interrupting it in different ways. Okay. I would say that, in terms of the verbal aggression, what I have found works best—and again, I was talking to a client yesterday and he was saying to me that this is what works. Mm-hmm. I'm like, “Okay, so let's do more of that. You came out of your mouth; you said it works when you do it—let's do more.” And that is being playful in the face of the verbal aggression.And so it can look like a lot of different things. You could say ahead of time to your daughter something like, “Hey, I've noticed that, you know, sometimes these nasty words come out of your mouth towards your brother, and I know you don't mean them. So I'm gonna—I'm gonna pay attention and just try to help you with that, 'cause I know you don't want to hurt his feelings.”Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And just, you know, outside the moment, just kind of toss that out there. And then in the heat of the moment—I mean, you can just get as goofy as you can think. You could get a paper bag and just pull it over her head, right? Or you could get those indoor snowballs and just start pelting her with snowballs. You could do what we call the “vigorous snuggle,” which we write about in the book, which is something like, “Do you know what happens to little girls who call their brothers, you know, ‘stupid buttheads'” or whatever it is—Sarah: Uh-huh.Tosha: —and then you—rather than push away, which is what we tend to want to do—you do something goofy, right? “They get their elbows licked!” And then you're, like, chasing after her elbow and trying to lick it. What you're going for is laughter. You're trying to elicit laughter, because she's stuck in a hard spot where she can't feel compassion for him and she can't feel your love or anybody's. And so laughter will loosen that up.So I would say: interrupt the verbal aggression with play.Member B: Okay.Tosha: Some of those things will maybe annoy her; some of them will lead to laughter. And then sometimes you'll do an experiment and it'll annoy her—mm-hmm—and she'll explode. And what I want to say about that is—that's okay. Because, like we talked about with the school incident, it's an opportunity for her to do that healing and release the tensions and the hurts and the upsets and the gripes and all the stuff that she's holding in there. So when that happens, if you can welcome those feelings and not try to shut them down or judge her—or what many of us, sort of in the peaceful parenting world, will do is just talk, talk, talk, talk to her about it—if you can let all of that go—Member B: Yeah.Tosha: —you'll see the behaviors lessen. Okay? You know, that would be—I mean, we talked a little bit about the physical stuff before, so I thought for this question I would focus more on the verbal.Member B: Yeah.Tosha: But in the sibling dynamic, just kind of rotate who you go to, so they don't feel like there's one “bad guy” and one “woe-is-me” sibling.Member B: Yeah. Right.Tosha: Because ultimately, our goal as parents is to nurture that sibling relationship. Right. I don't—I don't know—like, I just had a birthday. I'm like, “This is my best birthday ever.” And people are like, “Really? How is it your best birthday ever?” I'm like, because, like, a lot of people couldn't come to my party but all three of my boys were home, and we sang karaoke, and the three of them sang me a song and sang all this. It was like—there is nothing I think we want more than to see our kids loving each other, enjoying each other—mm-hmm—having a strong relationship down the road.And let me tell you, these kids were at each other. I mean, now they're 18, 20, and 22. But I have been in your shoes where my mom would call me and be like, “I'm afraid they're gonna kill each other. I'm worried.” I'd be like, “It's okay. I got this, Mom. You know, things will change.” Yeah. But we do want to experiment—interrupt the behaviors.Member B: Yeah, I appreciate the trying different interventions and then also being prepared for her to, like, not enjoy some of them as well. 'Cause I think that happens a lot more than, like, the positive, you know, playful things. Right. So I appreciate that space to, like, let that happen too—and that's okay.Tosha: Yeah. It's—even more than okay. Like, that's kind of what needs to happen—mm-hmm—in order for her to shift—yeah—in order for her to be able to show up differently. She's stuck. Just think of her as being stuck.Member B: Yeah. And maybe it's not gonna fix that moment, but later on it'll be less and less, right?Tosha: Yeah. And it happens much more quickly than we think, oftentimes.Member B: Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah. The other quick question—do I have time, Sarah, to ask the second—Sarah: Sure.Member B: Okay. The second one is more—it's my 10-year-old. So recently, like, he was at a playdate. He's getting to play with a lot more of his friends. They're all playing football and sports and things, and he's just a bigger kid—my husband's 6'5”, so he's just naturally bigger than a lot of the kids. And he is super playful, but he gets, like, playful aggression. And, like, one of the moms was saying, like, “Oh my—” I've seen the dynamic of how all the boys are playing, and I noticed Calvin sometimes gets a little too aggressive. And her son Luke is pretty small. And Luke is like, “Yeah, I get trampled sometimes.” And so the mom was like, “I just try and tell Calvin, like, how big he is and, you know, his awareness.” But I know it happens with his sister, and I think it probably happens at school sometimes too—that he doesn't realize his size, and that maybe it comes out to be as, like—I don't know if he has internal aggression or if it's just playful and he's not aware of how big he is.Tosha: Yeah, I mean, I'd say two things about this. One is: I always have to ask the question in these situations—Is it the kids who are having the problem, or is it the parents who are having a problem?Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And I don't know the answer in this situation, but oftentimes our kids play a lot rougher than we feel comfortable with—but they're all actually having a good time. Yeah. I mean, the way that you said that kid reported didn't sound like it was a problem. I could be wrong and it could be a problem, but I think it's worth asking: whether or not it's a problem—Is that mom worried, or is the kid not having fun?Member B: Yeah.Tosha: So just to keep that in mind. Because there's often a par between what we are feeling comfortable with and the way our kids are going at each other. Right. And I think in that situation, we do want to stay close if we're not sure. And just ask—like, if you notice that energy going up—just say, “Hey, are you all having fun?” If everyone says yes—okay. If one person says no, then we know we need to intervene. Okay. So that's one piece.And then I think it's about body awareness for him. Mm-hmm. And maybe one thing that you could do at home would be some practice—sort of—physical wrestling matches or something of the sort, where you could just pretend like you're in a ring—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: —with a timer, and do, like, 15-second, 30-second sessions—or whatever you call it. I'm not a boxing person or whatever, but I don't—Sarah: Rounds.Tosha: Rounds. Maybe it's rounds, right? Yeah. So where somebody's actually the ref and saying, “Okay, go at it,” and then when the whistle blows—when the ref blows the whistle—everyone has to run back to their corners. And so we're increasing the awareness of stop-start, stop-start.And then also I think it's oftentimes a good idea to have kind of a—what do you call it—an emergency word, secret word, whatever it's called—Sarah: Oh yeah.Tosha: —the word—Sarah: Safe word.Tosha: What's the word? Safe word. Safe word.Sarah: Safe word.Tosha: Yeah. Safe word. And so you all could figure that out at the beginning of this game. And, in fact, that's something that he could transfer over to his play with his friends. Like, “Yeah, once he learns—he's like, ‘I know I'm big; I'm just having a good time. I know I don't want to hurt you, but if things are getting too rough, say banana and I'll know I gotta pull back.'”Yeah. But “banana” is going to work a lot better than, “Hey, stop doing that,” or a parent coming in and saying, “Hey, be careful, you need to be careful, you're a lot bigger than him, you need to pull back.” That's not going to work as well. But you have to practice those things at home. So—come at it from two different angles.Member B: Yeah. I like how that is—he and his sister have a thing where if they're being too much, they yell “T.” Yeah. Okay. And so if they're like “T, T,” then they know like, oh, that's a timeout—like, I need to pause for a second.Sarah: Perfect.Member B: So yeah, maybe just—yeah—telling him, like, set it up with your friends so they can say it.Tosha: Yeah. If he already has that skill with his sister, that's amazing. Mm-hmm. And then, yeah—could we just transfer it over to a friend?Member B: Yeah, and I agree—it could be a little more parent than kid, because the kid's inviting Calvin over all the time and wants him to come back. So I'm like, I think they're having fun. You know, and it just may be the parent's perception of—or protection of—her child.Tosha: Right. And I think it's—I think it's fair to just ask.Member B: Mm-hmm.Tosha: You know, ask the child. I mean, you can ask the child if the child's at your house. Yeah. You can just say, like, “Hey, you know, if you guys need me, I'm in the other room,” or whatever. Like, you don't have to— I just—I don't like to assume that there's a problem.Member B: Mm-hmm. Yeah, because he's—he—it's very sweet. I just think he—he just plays rough sometimes and—Tosha: Yeah. Well, some kids like to play rough. And the other thing is, if we interrupt too much, we're interrupting the development of important emotional intelligence. Because one of the ways that kids learn—or build—emotional intelligence is through playing with one another. Right? If they play too rough, they're going to lose their playmate. Right. If they don't play rough enough, they're also going to lose their playmate. Right. This kid might like to play rough. I mean, this little kid might like to play rough—mm-hmm—because he doesn't have that opportunity with other kids. And, like, it's an opportunity to sort of be bigger and use strength and feel—I mean, I don't know.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: But there's something about the dance that they do when they play. I remember reading research about this in the animal kingdom. It was like a—it was a—I forget what his name was. This was like a million years ago at a conference when I was—back when I was a linguist—who was talking about this. And it was super, super interesting. I thought, “Wow, okay.” And so I think we need to let our kids also do that dance and just be present—so if there is a problem, we can step in—let them know that we're there. But don't assume there's a problem when nobody's complaining.Member B: Right. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks, Lindsay. That's helpful.Sarah: So I'm conscious that we only have about, uh, eight minutes left with you. And I don't think anyone else on the call has a question, so I will go to a question that was sent in. And actually two questions that were sent in, and I'm not sure how different they are, so I'm going to tell you both of them.Okay. And if you can answer them both together, or if you think they're separate—if that works. Okay. So one of them is a person, a member who has a child—a girl—who is just about to turn eight. And when she gets upset, she hits and throws things at her mom. And they haven't been able to—and she's been following peaceful parenting—but still hasn't been able to curb this. She doesn't have any issues anywhere else, except for—Tosha: Okay.Sarah: —her mom. The second person has a 12-year-old daughter that is hitting, kicking, pinching, saying mean words, etc., to her younger siblings when they're not doing what she wants them to do. She's the oldest of five; has younger siblings who are 10, 8, 4, and 2. And she didn't mention this, but I know she also—when she gets upset—she will do that to her mom too.Tosha: Yeah. Yeah. So for me, these are really both limit-setting issues, right? Like I've said earlier, we have to come at aggression from all the different angles, right? So we talked—we started out at the beginning with the first question about, like, hey, let's—we gotta focus in on our own healing and our own triggers, and make sure that we're not sort of trying to skate over that and pretend that we're gonna be able to be better without addressing anything.We also have to focus on connection. Like—somebody said they're tracking. Yeah, we need to pay attention—like, when does this stuff happen? We need to pour in connection, like we talked about. Make a list of all the things that are yummy when you do them together—just do more, do more, do more. Use play in the ways that we've talked about.But limits aren't necessarily the place to start—but if there are safety issues, then we have to go right there. So if the problem—well, there are lots of problems—but one thing that I've seen is that if we let a child, quote-unquote, succeed—or if a child succeeds in hurting us—let's just say throwing—like, let's say we get a stapler thrown at us and we end up with a black eye, or a cut on our face, or whatever it is—that child feels more fear than they felt before. Because there's a huge amount of fear associated with having that much power when you're so small, and feeling like the adults in your life can't keep everybody safe.Right? Because our number one job, in my opinion, is to keep everybody safe and alive. Let's just start there. Mm-hmm. So this is just basic. So that means that in a situation like this, you're gonna want to pay attention. You're gonna really want to track when this happens. It's good—it only happens with you, I think. That's telling in the sense that she feels safe enough with you to be able to show you that she's kind of holding things together out in the world, but actually feeling yucky inside, and these feelings need to come out somehow.And the next step is you figuring out: well, how do I want to show her that, yes, I can keep her safe? And that is likely gonna look like you physically anticipating—for her throwing something—or you see that she reaches for the stapler, and you're gonna rush in and you're gonna put your hand on her hand on that stapler: “I don't want that stapler to get thrown.”And I'm not gonna lie—it's gonna look messy, and it's gonna be a struggle, and all of the things. That's fine—as long as you're calm. If you feel triggered by the throwing, and you don't feel like you can stay calm, and you can feel like—to talk about, you know, the sweet child underneath the yucky feeling. So let's—got the throwing or the hitting or the cussing out or the whatever up here, and there's just always this sweet child underneath.If you lose sight of that child, then in a situation like this, I would rather you walked out of the room and the—you know—the stapler hit the door. You know, it breaks the window or it dents the door or whatever it is. I don't want that to happen, but I would rather that happen than it hit you and then you hit her, or you held her harder than you want, or you screamed horrible things at her that you wished afterwards you could take back.Right. And I say these things not because I think you're doing this, but just because in my 20 years of working in this world and raising three kids—I know what those feelings feel like, and they're real, and they happen to all of us. So if you feel out of control, remove yourself.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: Even at the cost of the window. But—which is why we have to start with our own—getting ourselves in what I call “good enough emotional shape.” Because ultimately, you need to be able to move in, put your hand on that hand with the stapler, and just say something like, “I can't—I can't let you throw that, sweet girl. I can't let you throw that.” And that's it.And then she's gonna have a huge upset. She's gonna fight, and she's gonna try and—“Let go of me,” and “I can't breathe,” and whatever. And unless she breathes through her hand—like, she's breathing okay, right? But that upset, again, is the gold nugget. Like—then you welcome the feelings and you allow them to pour out. Because something happened. Something is going on. And it might not be that one thing happened during that day at school, or wherever, but it might be that there was a little nick and a little nick and a little nick. And every time—whatever—she didn't get what she wanted, or a sibling got something and she didn't, or you answered a sibling before you answered her, or whatever it is—they're just all little things.They happen. They're not your fault or anybody's fault. It's just that if, every time they happen, she doesn't release the yucky feelings that arise in her as a result, then what's happening is they're building up. And so I like to think of it as the sand—or the sedimentary rock—on the beach. You can see those striations in it, right? So it's like—sand is really soft; you can kind of brush it off, but when it sits and it hardens, then you have to take, like, a chisel to it.Sarah: Yeah. For our people, we call that “getting a full emotional backpack,” when you're talking about the nicks that build up over time. So that'll resonate for people.Tosha: Exactly. Exactly.Sarah: Thank you so much, Tosha.Tosha: Yeah.Sarah: I hope—that was—Tosha: Helpful. But you have to physically get in there.Sarah: Yeah, physically get in there. And if it happens too fast to catch the first one, you just kind of do your best and try for the second one.Tosha: Yes.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Yes. And then you expect the upset, and you stay with it if you can.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Remembering that that's just a scared little girl in there.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Right. You don't know what this is about. Just trust that her body knows that it needs to do this healing, and she's picked you because she knows you can handle it—that you won't lose sight of her goodness, that your love is strong. And that's an honor. I know it feels hard, but it's actually a real honor when we're the one who gets chosen for that emotional work.Sarah: I love that, and I want to highlight that a lot of what you talked about today was our own inner work on keeping ourselves calm and keeping our mindset of keeping track of that sweet child—as you say, the sweet child inside that's just afraid and needs us in those moments. 'Cause it can feel—I think a lot of parents can feel—like, quote, victimized, and that's probably going to get them deeper into the aggression than get them out of it.Tosha: Exactly. Exactly. And so we want to feel—I hope that after this call you feel empowered. I mean, I hope there's just one thing that you can take away and experiment with doing differently. Just think of these things as experiments. You don't have to get it perfect—right? Whatever the word is that you have in your head. Right. Just try something.Sarah: Just—Tosha: Pick one idea that you heard and try it. Try it for a day. See how it goes. And remember that if it leads to big upset on the part of your child, that doesn't mean you did it wrong. It probably means you're actually doing something right.Sarah: That's so key. I love that. Thank you so much, Tosha. We really appreciate you and your work, and everyone, be sure to let us know how it goes for you when you try some of these things. Let us know in the Facebook group. And thank you, Tosha—thanks for getting up early and meeting with us today.Tosha: Yeah, my pleasure. Thank you for inviting me back, Sarah.Sarah: Thanks, everyone. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe
A Halloween episode descends into chaos Teeny Tiny Ghost https://www.amazon.com/Teeny-Tiny-Ghost-Rachel-Matson/dp/1338318489 I will be speaking LIVE at the Port Gamble Ghost Conference https://www.portgamble.com/upcoming-events/ghost-conference/ November 7th-9th 2025 Port Gamble, WA Patreon (Get ad-free episodes, Patreon Discord Access, and more!) https://www.patreon.com/user?u=18482113 PayPal Donation Link https://tinyurl.com/mrxe36ph MERCH STORE!!! https://tinyurl.com/y8zam4o2 Amazon Wish List https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/28CIOGSFRUXAD?ref_=wl_share Dead Rabbit Radio Archive Episodes https://deadrabbitradio.blogspot.com/2025/07/ episode-archive.html https://archive.ph/UELip Dead Rabbit Radio Recommends Master List https://letterboxd.com/dead_rabbit/list/dead-rabbit-radio-recommends/ Links: EP 553 - Spook-tacular Halloween Special: Evil Never Slumbers! https://deadrabbitradio.libsyn.com/ep-553-spook-tacular-halloween-special-evil-never-slumbers (Crazy coincidence: The episode where I talked about both Dennis Nilsen and Adam Strong flushing victims down the toilet or down the drain was ALSO a Halloween episode!) EP 1150 - B & W (Black And White Mom episode) https://deadrabbitradio.libsyn.com/ep-1150-b-w EP 1499 - The Greyscale Baby https://deadrabbitradio.libsyn.com/ep-1499-the-greyscale-baby EP 1208 - With A Tip Of His Hat, He Breaks Your Mind (Angry Mom Looking Through Door episode) https://deadrabbitradio.libsyn.com/ep-1208-with-a-tip-of-his-hat-he-breaks-your-mind EP 1334 - Mom Madness (Laundry Mom Multiple Reality episode) https://deadrabbitradio.libsyn.com/ep-1334-mom-madness Mom dismembered 'teen's rapist' and dumped body in freezer for 12 months https://www.the-express.com/news/us-news/187625/colorado-mom-teen-rapist-sentencing EP. 1150, another black and white mom !! (Angry Face Angry Mom Hallway story) https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadRabbitRadio/comments/1iw4ugn/ep_1150_another_black_and_white_mom/ Archive https://archive.ph/O1qUZ ------------------------------------------------ Logo Art By Ash Black Opening Song: "Atlantis Attacks" Closing Song: "Bella Royale" Music By Simple Rabbitron 3000 created by Eerbud Thanks to Chris K, Founder Of The Golden Rabbit Brigade Dead Rabbit Archivist Some Weirdo On Twitter AKA Jack YouTube Champ: Stewart Meatball Reddit Champ: TheLast747 The Haunted Mic Arm provided by Chyme Chili Discord Mods: Mason, HotDiggityDane Forever Fluffle: Cantillions, Samson, Gregory Gilbertson, Jenny The Cat http://www.DeadRabbit.com Email: DeadRabbitRadio@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/DeadRabbitRadio Facebook: www.Facebook.com/DeadRabbitRadio TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@deadrabbitradio Dead Rabbit Radio Subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/DeadRabbitRadio/ Paranormal News Subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/ParanormalNews/ Mailing Address Jason Carpenter PO Box 1363 Hood River, OR 97031 Paranormal, Conspiracy, and True Crime news as it happens! Jason Carpenter breaks the stories they'll be talking about tomorrow, assuming the world doesn't end today. All Contents Of This Podcast Copyright Jason Carpenter 2018 - 2025
I sit down with UFC & WWE legend Ronda Rousey. We talk about her training again, her graphic novel, WWE promos, cutting weight, her Mom, her first big check, becoming a champion, and much more! Buy Ronda's new debut graphic novel, Expecting The Unexpected here - https://amzn.to/48M4bJU Follow Ronda: https://www.instagram.com/rondarousey Come see me on the Permission to Party World Tour! Go to https://www.bertbertbert.com/#tour2 for tickets --------------------------------------------------- Sponsors: Quince - Go to https://quince.com/bertcast for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. HelloFresh - Go to https://HelloFresh.com/BERTCAST10FM now to Get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! Hims - For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, ED, Weight Loss, and more, visit https://Hims.com/BERTCAST. Cornbread Hemp - Just visit https://cornbreadhemp.com/bertcast and use promo code BERTCAST at checkout. Helix Sleep - Go to https://helixsleep.com/bert for 20% Off Sitewide. Check out Cigars International and use my code BERT for a great deal: https://www.cigarsinternational.com --------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE so you never miss a video https://bit.ly/3DC1ICg For all TOUR DATES: http://www.bertbertbert.com For Fully Loaded: https://fullyloadedfestival.com For Merch: https://store.bertbertbert.com YouTube▶ http://www.YouTube.com/user/Akreischer X▶ http://www.Twitter.com/bertkreischer Facebook▶ http://www.Facebook.com/BertKreischer Instagram▶ http://www.Instagram.com/bertkreischer TikTok▶ http://www.TikTok.com/@bertkreischer Text Me▶ https://my.community.com/bertkreischer Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Motherhood didn't shrink your ambition, it just changed how it shows up. In this first episode of The Seasons, Kacia kicks off the conversation ambitious moms have been craving: how to chase your dreams, be a present parent, and honor the season you're actually in (not the one you think you “should” be in).
If you've ever stood in a cluttered room thinking, "But what if I need this later?"—this episode is for you. In this short and powerful story, I'm sharing what happened when my son Levi, a lifelong Lego lover, walked into the room and said something I never thought I'd hear: "Mom, I don't need my Legos anymore." What?! My jaw dropped. But here's the beautiful part—he didn't let go because I nagged or convinced him. He let go because he saw them differently. And that's exactly what we're unpacking in this episode. Whether it's Legos, clothes, mugs, or treadmills, we all have stuff that once felt meaningful… until it didn't. Letting go becomes easy when you understand the 3 quiet shifts that lead to readiness. What You'll Learn: Why readiness to declutter isn't about willpower—it's about perspective The 3 subtle mindset shifts that make it easier to let go (space, value, impact) How to help your kids—or yourself—release clutter without forcing it A gentle reframe if you're feeling stuck or not "ready" to part with something Ready to go deeper with support, decluttering momentum, and a step-by-step plan? Join the Inner Circle Waitlist and be the first to know when doors open again! This is where the real transformation happens—inside your home and your habits.
On this week's episode of Mom's Car we welcome comedic legend and fellow Groundlings alum Tim Lovestedt. Tim, Dax, and Best Friend Aaron Weakley talk through the dish on Brad, working in wine, Tim getting a DUI at the police department where his dad worked, the namesake of The Worker tall boy, being tuned into the male Midwest supper courtship, Tim and Dax's Sunday Company mythology, and achieving the most comfortable level of fame.#sponsored by @Allstate. Go to https://bit.ly/momscar to check Allstate first and see how much you could save on car insurance.Follow Mom's Car on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch new content on YouTube or listen to Mom's Car ad-free by joining Wondery+ in the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Start your free trial by visiting https://wondery.com/plus now.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.