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Oh You're Still Buying Eggs? Must Be Nice...

The centrality of Christ, the lover of our souls, the light of the world, everything else is like a shadow. Chad brings all of this out of this beautiful love story in Chapter 3. Calla Chung sings "Everything Else Is a Shadow". Show Notes: Support 1517 Podcast Network 1517 Podcasts 1517 on Youtube 1517 Podcast Network on Apple Podcasts 1517 Events Schedule 1517 Academy - Free Theological Education What's New from 1517: Bible in One Year with Chad Bird Broken Bonds: A Novel of the Reformation, Book 1 of 2 by Amy Mantravadi Junk Drawer Jesus By Matt Popovits More from the hosts: Chad Bird Lyrics to "everything else is a shadow" On my bed at night I sought for you Whom my soul loves Whose love is true Looking  everywhere Through every door  You are all I need All I'm searching for  Chorus: In the twilight  I cling to You because Everything else is a shadow In the twilight  Oh You are my love Everything else is a shadow But You are the light     As the day fades  I am seeking the one Who my souls loves One  brighter than the sun And my heart is glad My love  secure You are guiding me home With love that endures   Bridge: And when I found you Then I held you close Every heart beat is Yours Don't ever let go   Light of the world Everything else is a shadow

Praėjusį rudenį Kauno „Auditorijos“ rezidentas Matas Valaitis kartu su Hilda (Benu Trakimu) pradėjo kurti renginių seriją „Oh You, Green Grasshopper“, kurios esmė – paprastumas, meilė elektroninei muzikai ir esminės šios industrijos kultūros vertybės.„Mūsų serija nėra tik apie meilę elektroninei muzikai – mums ypač svarbios muzikos, kurią grojame šaknys, akcentuojame vietinių ir užsienio prodiuserių palaikymą. Taip pat žvelgiame į užsienio tendencijas, o jas bandom integruoti į „Auditorijos“ šokių aikštelę. Tai nėra tik apie naktinius šokius iki paryčių, bandome suburti bendruomenę ir tuo pasakyti, jog ši industrija yra gyva ir eilinės dienos metu“, - sako Matas Valaitis.Serija ypatinga ir dėl to, kad su naujais vėjais prie jos prisijungia ir Benas. Tai – old-school ir new-school susidūrimas, o tokie susitikimai visada dovanoja nenuspėjamų rezultatų.Apie antrąjį epizodą ir tikėtiną serijos tąsą šiandien kalbina Unė Liandzbergytė.

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The Black Knight Before Christmas by  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip. When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked away, to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash. The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year, With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name; “Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!” His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick. And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there. When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match. The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry. Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!” It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp. I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!” And To All A Good Lay  by  foehn. Recited by Connor. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You'd already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair. The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown. He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft! By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass. Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?” Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, And taking the pot, knocking over my rum, I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum. The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed, to think that this Christmas, he well could have died; And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping, I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping. When I recognized the odd look on his face, I reminded him, he had invaded our space. “And now come to think of it, where are the toys? “Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.” I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket, to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.) He walked to the chimney, and reaching within, unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din. “Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?” He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,” and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong, he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong. He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree, and turning he gave me, a new DVD; there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case, and one of them seemed to be wearing your face! He gave a big wink, walked right out the door. I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor. where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare. beneath the big blanket, now covering you there. I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side; you were already giving, your new dong a ride! And what had gone limp from our rude interruption, now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention. I reached for your free hand and guided it where; it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air. and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!” Her Night Before Christmas by Ug. Recited by Natasha Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. No creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were worn by the woman with care, She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair. The woman who should have been snug in her bed, the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head. And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor, so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger. To her door he did wander, and gave it a push, Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush. He spied a light on, in a room and did wander. looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder. Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair. This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair. He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake, but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake. He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle. which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle. The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver. decided to cup one, still she did not shiver. Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress. and finding her nipple, an interesting quest. He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh. and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high. Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin, to her panties and under, his fingers sank in. He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside. and with his free hand, then parted her thighs. And moving between, her legs he did shove. Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love. He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair, His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair. and into her pussy, his dick did so slam. then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram. He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved. Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove. She still was asleep, unaware of the world, so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl. He pushed her legs back, up over her head, And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed. He started to grunt, whilst having his fun. Then into her belly, shot all of his cum. He held himself still, til catching his breath, and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left. He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress, and zipped himself up, though she was a mess. He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door, before looking round, til he finally swore. “Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”, then crept from the house, and left her alone. He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so, soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow. But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light, “Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!” T'was The Night Before Christmas by LostNlove. Recited by Emily. It was the night before Christmas; And all through my house. The Candles were glowing; And I was quite soused. The fire was warm; And so was the brandy. As I wrapped up the gifts; I was feeling quite randy. I sat in my nightie; Short silky and white. Hoping when Santa showed; He'd enjoy such a sight. Then top of the stairs; I heard a deep groan. It sounded familiar; I let out a moan. I turned round to see; And what do you know. There stood my Santa; His shaft in a bow. I saw that red ribbon; Round that cock so hard. And jumped off the couch; Without self regard. When he saw I was tipsy; He laughed and came down. I untied that bow; And wrapped my lips ‘round. Oh, what a present! I'm one happy wench. I sucked it then faster; my nipples he pinched. I rose to my feet; L and licking my lips. Then, held mistletoe; while he gave me a kiss. We moved to the couch Where he laid me back. And thrust in his cock; All the way to his sack. When my hips rocked he said; Oh You like that I see.” I said, “Yes all though better; On the floor on my knees.” “No problem my dear; Anything that you wish. But first come here; Give me one more kiss.” I kissed his lips softly; Then I got on the floor. He teased so I begged; “Santa please give me more.” He lifted my nightie; Up over my ass. As he gave it a slap; I let out a loud gasp. “I've watched you this year; You're so naughty but nice.” He shoved it in deep saying, “Now, let's do this twice!” I slammed back against him, As he slammed into me. I didn't yet notice; Rug burns on my knees. I moaned and I came; my juices did flow. he pounded yet faster; deep as he could go. I came then again; and convulsed quite a bit. My fingers pressed hard; On my swollen clit. As I came I could feel; His dick start to swell. He smacked on my ass; And I let out a yell. “For when you were naughty, that will suffice. and now here is something; For when you've been nice.” He grabbed my hips tight, And his cock shot a pop. I soon came again; begging please do not stop. His dick throbbed and squirted; I thought I might scream. Oh the wonderful pleasure; Of Santa's hot cream! We collapsed on the floor, His hands in my hair, Then asleep by the fire, Without any care. As he was leaving; Before the sunlight. “Oh my darling; You're such a delight!” Twats The Night Before Christmas by  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas. Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block; Nothing was stirring, except for my cock. Her panties were hung by the chimney with care, I had a good feeling she soon would be bare. I was horny and naked all snug in my bed, While visions of big boobs danced in my head. With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck, I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck. When out by the hearth there arose such a noise, It sounded like girls and could not be boys. Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude, We might have guests, I couldn't be rude. Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow And gave my firm cock a good reason to grow; When, what should appear through my old reading glasses, But eight college girls, and their really firm asses, With little shy giggles, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment they wanted my dick. I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing, But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing; “I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly! I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie! From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,  They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!” There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match, My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch; So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds, I was anxious to learn who would first give me head; And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick, The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick. Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits, While each girl behind her all played with her clit. My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch, Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch; A sack full of toys she brought for the girls, It was full of vibrators with one made of pearls Their eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry! Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry! The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor, They pleasured each other, but all wanted more. Each girl took a turn and came over to me, They mounted my cock by the light of the tree. Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast, My biggest concern was how long I would last. Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet, I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet. With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast, My wife let me know that she would be next. They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick, and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick. She lowered her pussy right onto my rod, We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad. Of all the pussies my wife's was the best, My cock was now tired and needed a rest. With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early, She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly. She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple, My smile was so big and showed off my dimple. She moved to their clits, and then one by one, Each girl did orgasm, until they were done. With evry girl limp and could take nothing more, They eventually dressed and went for the door. But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.” Tinder Christmas Eve By HarryDNewhouse Recited by Aria Twas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV. So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie. My kinky companion, was up for some fun. I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won. “Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone. No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone. I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick. I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick. There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back. It opens with ease, for you and your sack. I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty. Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!” A mince pie and brandy were left on the table. Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!' Well imagine my shock, when later that night. I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight. My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear. ‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear' I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free. His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry. Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride. Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side. My night dress was lifted, my body left bare. Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair. The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan. Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home. By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore. If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more. Many strikes later, he decided to rise. I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs. It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there. Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair. ‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal. Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'. Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise. A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes. Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor. ‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!' His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered. ‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered. Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded. Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded. A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice. We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice. Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied. He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride. But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?' I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen. A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass. And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass. Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen. Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen. I yet was astonished, on tinder to find. ‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'. Thus read the message, from my kinky friend. That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End. NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: PARODY By Eurika. Recited by Ryan Twas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house' Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse. Her stockings were flung on the end of the table, But I was alone watching porn over cable. I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock. To shoot my load in an old ragged sock. From the upstairs, came a noise so gay, I jumped from my chair, seeking some randy play. I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door' to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor. For a moment, arose such a hot burning, Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning. A little old man, she was sucking his dick. He was dressed in all red, Oh God it's Saint Nick. His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red. My wife was below him, and giving him head. She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught. I wasn't upset though. I thought it was hot! He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice. She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.” I gave them a smile, and nodded my head, Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed. He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free, He turned her round so she, was looking at me. Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick, She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick. At first he was slow, til she started to cum. He then fucked her hard, until she was done. He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack, And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back. He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.” He pulled up his pants, and started to go. “Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave. It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.” Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy, we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy. We looked out the window, her pussy still wet. he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jet I squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight. She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“ Kay's Christmas Worship By drive me wilder. Recited by Clara Twas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed. Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head. Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked, Giving him love, as they waited for Nick. Teasing his tip, then taking him deep. Both knew that this night, they'd not get much sleep. Laid out on his back, and watching her bob. His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob. It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit. She loves this good man, and she'll never quit. Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view. Her loving like this, is giving and true. Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke. Sometimes very deep, without any choke. Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball. He's one lucky man, tonight he stands tall. Picking the pace up, and starting to moan. There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone. It's starting to build, there is no turning back. His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack. Rope after rope, His love juice explodes. And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads. And looking at him, with those loving eyes. His love for this woman, for her he would die. His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose, A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes. She closes her mouth, He knows what's to follow, One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows. She worships his cock, her love pole her toy. She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy. For now it's all over, his heart is in bliss. More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce. Donna's Night Before Christmas By Gaurd. Recited by Molly. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. My stockings seductively, laid on the chair, In vain hope he'd take me, right then and there. But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed. While visions of fucking, danced in my head. Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap! Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter's nap. When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter. Despite my attire, to the window I flew. Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view. In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show. I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below. And what to my wondering, eyes could I see. But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me. I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick. But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick. More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame. He whistled and shouted, and called out my name! "Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid. Come on my vixen, don't try to look stupid. Come down to the porch! And open the door! Now dash and come down! I want to see more! With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain, I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain. Despite my frustration, I got back to bed. 'Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead! I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way. Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée. Then To my amazement, In trembling I found. The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound. He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe. Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show! Up I was bundled, and flung on my back. He open his suit, and showed me his sack. His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! It looked he'd already, been hard at the sherry! My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below. My best Christmas gift, he presented to show. The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby. Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby. But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head. Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk. He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side. He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide! His gift was so large, I nearly had cried. I came more than once, from his big woody ride. And then out he pulled, and over my belly. He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly! He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear. And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer. And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away. "Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. The Black Knight Before Christmas by  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip. When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked away, to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash. The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year, With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name; “Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!” His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick. And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there. When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match. The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry. Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!” It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp. I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!” And To All A Good Lay  by  foehn. Recited by Connor. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You'd already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair. The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown. He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft! By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass. Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?” Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, And taking the pot, knocking over my rum, I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum. The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed, to think that this Christmas, he well could have died; And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping, I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping. When I recognized the odd look on his face, I reminded him, he had invaded our space. “And now come to think of it, where are the toys? “Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.” I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket, to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.) He walked to the chimney, and reaching within, unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din. “Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?” He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,” and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong, he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong. He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree, and turning he gave me, a new DVD; there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case, and one of them seemed to be wearing your face! He gave a big wink, walked right out the door. I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor. where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare. beneath the big blanket, now covering you there. I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side; you were already giving, your new dong a ride! And what had gone limp from our rude interruption, now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention. I reached for your free hand and guided it where; it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air. and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!” Her Night Before Christmas by Ug. Recited by Natasha Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. No creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were worn by the woman with care, She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair. The woman who should have been snug in her bed, the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head. And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor, so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger. To her door he did wander, and gave it a push, Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush. He spied a light on, in a room and did wander. looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder. Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair. This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair. He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake, but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake. He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle. which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle. The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver. decided to cup one, still she did not shiver. Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress. and finding her nipple, an interesting quest. He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh. and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high. Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin, to her panties and under, his fingers sank in. He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside. and with his free hand, then parted her thighs. And moving between, her legs he did shove. Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love. He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair, His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair. and into her pussy, his dick did so slam. then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram. He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved. Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove. She still was asleep, unaware of the world, so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl. He pushed her legs back, up over her head, And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed. He started to grunt, whilst having his fun. Then into her belly, shot all of his cum. He held himself still, til catching his breath, and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left. He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress, and zipped himself up, though she was a mess. He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door, before looking round, til he finally swore. “Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”, then crept from the house, and left her alone. He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so, soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow. But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light, “Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!” T'was The Night Before Christmas by LostNlove. Recited by Emily. It was the night before Christmas; And all through my house. The Candles were glowing; And I was quite soused. The fire was warm; And so was the brandy. As I wrapped up the gifts; I was feeling quite randy. I sat in my nightie; Short silky and white. Hoping when Santa showed; He'd enjoy such a sight. Then top of the stairs; I heard a deep groan. It sounded familiar; I let out a moan. I turned round to see; And what do you know. There stood my Santa; His shaft in a bow. I saw that red ribbon; Round that cock so hard. And jumped off the couch; Without self regard. When he saw I was tipsy; He laughed and came down. I untied that bow; And wrapped my lips ‘round. Oh, what a present! I'm one happy wench. I sucked it then faster; my nipples he pinched. I rose to my feet; L and licking my lips. Then, held mistletoe; while he gave me a kiss. We moved to the couch Where he laid me back. And thrust in his cock; All the way to his sack. When my hips rocked he said; Oh You like that I see.” I said, “Yes all though better; On the floor on my knees.” “No problem my dear; Anything that you wish. But first come here; Give me one more kiss.” I kissed his lips softly; Then I got on the floor. He teased so I begged; “Santa please give me more.” He lifted my nightie; Up over my ass. As he gave it a slap; I let out a loud gasp. “I've watched you this year; You're so naughty but nice.” He shoved it in deep saying, “Now, let's do this twice!” I slammed back against him, As he slammed into me. I didn't yet notice; Rug burns on my knees. I moaned and I came; my juices did flow. he pounded yet faster; deep as he could go. I came then again; and convulsed quite a bit. My fingers pressed hard; On my swollen clit. As I came I could feel; His dick start to swell. He smacked on my ass; And I let out a yell. “For when you were naughty, that will suffice. and now here is something; For when you've been nice.” He grabbed my hips tight, And his cock shot a pop. I soon came again; begging please do not stop. His dick throbbed and squirted; I thought I might scream. Oh the wonderful pleasure; Of Santa's hot cream! We collapsed on the floor, His hands in my hair, Then asleep by the fire, Without any care. As he was leaving; Before the sunlight. “Oh my darling; You're such a delight!” Twats The Night Before Christmas by  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas. Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block; Nothing was stirring, except for my cock. Her panties were hung by the chimney with care, I had a good feeling she soon would be bare. I was horny and naked all snug in my bed, While visions of big boobs danced in my head. With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck, I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck. When out by the hearth there arose such a noise, It sounded like girls and could not be boys. Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude, We might have guests, I couldn't be rude. Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow And gave my firm cock a good reason to grow; When, what should appear through my old reading glasses, But eight college girls, and their really firm asses, With little shy giggles, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment they wanted my dick. I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing, But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing; “I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly! I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie! From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,  They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!” There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match, My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch; So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds, I was anxious to learn who would first give me head; And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick, The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick. Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits, While each girl behind her all played with her clit. My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch, Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch; A sack full of toys she brought for the girls, It was full of vibrators with one made of pearls Their eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry! Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry! The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor, They pleasured each other, but all wanted more. Each girl took a turn and came over to me, They mounted my cock by the light of the tree. Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast, My biggest concern was how long I would last. Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet, I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet. With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast, My wife let me know that she would be next. They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick, and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick. She lowered her pussy right onto my rod, We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad. Of all the pussies my wife's was the best, My cock was now tired and needed a rest. With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early, She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly. She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple, My smile was so big and showed off my dimple. She moved to their clits, and then one by one, Each girl did orgasm, until they were done. With evry girl limp and could take nothing more, They eventually dressed and went for the door. But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.” Tinder Christmas Eve By HarryDNewhouse Recited by Aria Twas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV. So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie. My kinky companion, was up for some fun. I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won. “Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone. No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone. I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick. I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick. There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back. It opens with ease, for you and your sack. I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty. Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!” A mince pie and brandy were left on the table. Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!' Well imagine my shock, when later that night. I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight. My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear. ‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear' I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free. His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry. Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride. Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side. My night dress was lifted, my body left bare. Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair. The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan. Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home. By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore. If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more. Many strikes later, he decided to rise. I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs. It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there. Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair. ‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal. Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'. Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise. A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes. Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor. ‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!' His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered. ‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered. Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded. Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded. A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice. We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice. Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied. He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride. But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?' I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen. A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass. And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass. Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen. Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen. I yet was astonished, on tinder to find. ‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'. Thus read the message, from my kinky friend. That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End. NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: PARODY By Eurika. Recited by Ryan Twas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house' Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse. Her stockings were flung on the end of the table, But I was alone watching porn over cable. I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock. To shoot my load in an old ragged sock. From the upstairs, came a noise so gay, I jumped from my chair, seeking some randy play. I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door' to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor. For a moment, arose such a hot burning, Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning. A little old man, she was sucking his dick. He was dressed in all red, Oh God it's Saint Nick. His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red. My wife was below him, and giving him head. She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught. I wasn't upset though. I thought it was hot! He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice. She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.” I gave them a smile, and nodded my head, Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed. He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free, He turned her round so she, was looking at me. Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick, She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick. At first he was slow, til she started to cum. He then fucked her hard, until she was done. He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack, And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back. He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.” He pulled up his pants, and started to go. “Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave. It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.” Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy, we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy. We looked out the window, her pussy still wet. he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jet I squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight. She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“ Kay's Christmas Worship By drive me wilder. Recited by Clara Twas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed. Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head. Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked, Giving him love, as they waited for Nick. Teasing his tip, then taking him deep. Both knew that this night, they'd not get much sleep. Laid out on his back, and watching her bob. His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob. It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit. She loves this good man, and she'll never quit. Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view. Her loving like this, is giving and true. Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke. Sometimes very deep, without any choke. Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball. He's one lucky man, tonight he stands tall. Picking the pace up, and starting to moan. There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone. It's starting to build, there is no turning back. His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack. Rope after rope, His love juice explodes. And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads. And looking at him, with those loving eyes. His love for this woman, for her he would die. His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose, A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes. She closes her mouth, He knows what's to follow, One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows. She worships his cock, her love pole her toy. She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy. For now it's all over, his heart is in bliss. More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce. Donna's Night Before Christmas By Gaurd. Recited by Molly. ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. My stockings seductively, laid on the chair, In vain hope he'd take me, right then and there. But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed. While visions of fucking, danced in my head. Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap! Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter's nap. When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter. Despite my attire, to the window I flew. Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view. In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show. I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below. And what to my wondering, eyes could I see. But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me. I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick. But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick. More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame. He whistled and shouted, and called out my name! "Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid. Come on my vixen, don't try to look stupid. Come down to the porch! And open the door! Now dash and come down! I want to see more! With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain, I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain. Despite my frustration, I got back to bed. 'Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead! I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way. Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée. Then To my amazement, In trembling I found. The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound. He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe. Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show! Up I was bundled, and flung on my back. He open his suit, and showed me his sack. His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! It looked he'd already, been hard at the sherry! My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below. My best Christmas gift, he presented to show. The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby. Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby. But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head. Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk. He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side. He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide! His gift was so large, I nearly had cried. I came more than once, from his big woody ride. And then out he pulled, and over my belly. He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly! He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear. And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer. And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away. "Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

In this episode of Game Over: c*ncer, we dive into the complex emotions and experiences surrounding cancer with special guest Chelsey Gomez, the artist and advocate behind "Oh You're So Tough." Chelsey shares her journey of turning dark moments into humor and creating a community of support through her art and online presence. From hosting the transformative Not Dead Yet Fest to fostering an online space where people can openly share their stories, Chelsey's approach highlights the importance of finding light even in the darkest times.Join hosts Val Solomon and Dana Nichols as they explore the power of laughter, art, community, and cussing in healing. Whether you're a cancer patient, caregiver, or supporter, this episode offers insights and inspiration on navigating the tough topics with grace and resilience.Connect with Chelsey:@ohyouresotoughhttps://www.etsy.com/shop/OhyouresotoughHow YOU can make a difference: https://cannonballkidscancer.org/other-ways-to-activate/Connect with Dana: https://www.linkedin.com/in/danaknichols/Connect with Val: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valerie-solomon-516b50b8/Learn more about the Cannonball Kids cancer Foundation: https://cannonballkidscancer.org/

Local Cleveland real estate agent, owner and relocation director, Seth Young, joined me for a conversation about real estate while sampling various bourbons. Connect with Seth at Seth Young, CENTURY 21 Real Estate Agent in Pepper Pike, OH You can Buy Me A Coffee to help support our podcast https://buymeacoffee.com/natehaber

Candace Owens, feminist! "Per capita" stats! Cannibalism? Bible: Don't be surprised! Pastors feeding the "poor," being a nuisance! FE call: Sun vs moon, explain! The Hake Report, Thursday, April 4, 2024 AD TIME STAMPS * (0:00:00) Announcements / Topics * (0:03:05) Hey, guys! Santa Monica tee * (0:05:23) Tips: NAACP, Karl Rove, Candace English * (0:10:51) Candace Owens took her husband's name? * (0:11:58) Insanity defined * (0:19:21) TERRI, OR: Candace Farmer * (0:32:31) Coffees: Tip; Self-doxx! "Per capita"; "Courage"! * (0:36:24) Coffees: blacks at heaven's gates, Juvenile justice statistics* (0:43:42) Coffee: Tip, Spiffy tunes, Cannibals, Insanity* (0:50:31) Bible: Do not be surprised, dismayed (1 Peter 4: 12; Isaiah 41: 10) * (0:56:25) Jens Lekman - "A Man Walks into a Bar" (2005, Oh You're So Silent, Jens) * (1:01:37) OR church 6-days a week free food (1st Amendment) * (1:11:03) AZ "pastor" feeds migrants; mayor persecutes? * (1:19:51) JOE, AZ: Obama, William: Out-of-wedlock birth rates * (1:27:19) Coffee: Stats, crime rates, OK vs NY; Gethsemane ("Get Some Money"?) * (1:33:10) IG: Sad at opinion over "African Americans" (Christian-based) * (1:34:18) JAY, NH: FE, Moon, Sun, eclipse — explain! * (1:43:35) JEFF, LA: Homeless, Bible: Feed the poor * (1:46:23) Coffee: FE vs crime * (1:48:13) Obama: ACA, "raising costs," healthcare "a right" * (1:51:54) Huntingtons - "No Pool Party" (1999, Get Lost) BLOG  https://www.thehakereport.com/blog/2024/4/4/the-hake-report-thu-4-4-24 PODCAST / Substack  HAKE NEWS from JLP  https://www.thehakereport.com/jlp-news/2024/4/4/judge-illegals-can-sue-transport-company-that-took-them-to-marthas-vinyard-hake-news-thu-4-4-24 Hake is live M-F 9-11a PT (11-1CT/12-2ET) Call-in 1-888-775-3773 https://www.thehakereport.com/show VIDEO  YouTube  -  Rumble*  -  Facebook  -  X  -  BitChute  -  Odysee*  PODCAST  Substack  -  Apple  -  Spotify  -  Castbox  -  Podcast Addict  *SUPER CHAT on platforms* above or  BuyMeACoffee, etc.  SHOP  Spring  -  Cameo  |  All My Links  JLP Network:  JLP  -  Church  -  TFS  -  Nick  -  Joel  Get full access to HAKE at thehakereport.substack.com/subscribe

Romance scams, sophisticated cyber espionage campaigns, and the alarming trend of teenagers turning to cybercrime. We begin with the U.S. Secret Service's warning about the rise of romance scams, where fraudsters exploit individuals' longing for companionship to manipulate and defraud them, emphasizing that no one is immune to these deceptions. Next, we dive into The Hacker News' report on a cyber espionage campaign known as Patchwork, which targets individuals in Pakistan and India through malware-infected apps, revealing the depths of digital deception and the espionage capabilities of VajraSpy malware. Finally, we explore the dark trend of teenagers engaging in cybercrime, discussing the allure, the risk, and the potential redirection of these young talents towards ethical paths in cybersecurity. Featured Articles: U.S. Secret Service on Romance Scams Patchwork's Cyber Espionage Campaign - The Hacker News Deepfake Deception in Hong Kong - SCMP Teenagers in Cybercrime - Dark Reading Join us as we navigate the intricate web of digital threats and discuss the importance of cybersecurity awareness, the role of technology companies in safeguarding against these threats, and how society can foster a culture of ethical digital engagement among the youth. Listen in for an in-depth analysis and expert insights into the evolving landscape of cyber threats and defenses. Thanks to Jered Jones for providing the music for this episode. https://www.jeredjones.com/ Transcript: Romance Scam, Deep Fake Cyber Espionage, and Teenagers in Cybercrime [00:00:00] announcer: Welcome to The Daily Decrypt, the go to podcast for all things cyber security. Get ready to decrypt the complexities of cyber safety and stay informed. Stand at the frontier of cyber security news, where every insight is a key to unlocking the mysteries of the digital domain. Your voyage through the cyber news vortex starts now. [00:00:29] offsetkeyz: Good morning, everyone. Today is February 6th. And welcome back to the daily decrypt. Today. We're going to be talking about something that affects every human with a beating heart. You all are vulnerable to romance scams. We are also going to be talking about how scammers use deep, fake to swindle their way into $200 million. And finally. We're just going to touch on how cyber crime has become a playground for teenagers. And why [00:01:00] they have chosen this field to get their kicks. So first up we're talking about romance scams. I'm not sure if you're all aware, but in. A little over a week. There's the infamous romance holiday of Valentine's day. And although I personally am not plagued by loneliness at this current moment. I have felt loneliness in the past. You can become pretty vulnerable when you're feeling that way. And everyone is susceptible to it. Frequency can vary from individual to individual, but As it gets closer to Valentine's day. The romance scams start to become more and more popular. So essentially a romance scam is when someone online, which is where a lot of dating takes place. Nowadays we'll use. Your desire for companionship to get you to do anything, Give them money, send them nude photographs. the creativity is unmet. Anything is possible. Especially in today's [00:02:00] day and age where AI is becoming more prevalent. It's hard to tell if you're talking to a real person or to an artificial intelligence or machine learning bot. So you can imagine how easy it would be to have long-winded conversations with someone, tell them deep dark secrets. And you're not even knowing that this isn't even a real person. Maybe it is a real person who is crafting these responses, writing down everything you say, maybe they're going after your. Security questions on your bank account. Maybe they're trying to get your email, send you some stuff through email. They're trying to get information out of you. They're trying to gain your trust. They're trying to use that loneliness and desire for companionship to get something out of you. So these scams have already started they're well underway. Especially in the romantic season of Valentine's day. So take a look at all your online chats on Tinder, et cetera. And just ask yourself, do you think this is a scam? Could [00:03:00] this possibly be a scam? Don't be afraid of being perceived any sort of way for saying no to anything. That's just general advice for dating from someone who's been on plenty of online dates and seeing the crazies that are out there. Don't hesitate to say no to paying for a meal. Don't hesitate to say no. To. Pick up someone at the hospital or anything there's a timeline in that you should be kind of following as to what's normal throughout the dating process. And if it's too early, no is a very powerful word. And if someone is not willing to respect your no. They're not worthy of your time. This is romance 1 0 1. With your host offset keys. Now that being said, We all know the popular. Dating apps like Tinder hinge and Bumble and stuff like that. Those are relatively safe. As far as the app itself goes, the people on there, maybe not quite as much, but. There are other apps that have been spun up in the last year, specifically targeting this. [00:04:00] Timeframe. That are not dating apps. They're fake dating apps that either install malware on your phone. Or track everything you're doing on your phone, et cetera. You likely will not find these in the apple store, but they are. Running rampant in the Google play store. The hacker news recently reported on. Cyber espionage campaign orchestrated by a threat actor known as patchwork. Patrick targets individuals in Pakistan and India tricking them into downloading malware infected apps from the Google play store. These apps are disguised as messaging and news platforms. they install the. Malware, they transform the victim's Android devices into espionage tools. So the capabilities. Allow attackers to steal personal data intercept messages from encrypted services, like WhatsApp and signal and record phone calls and even capture photos. Especially if you're an Android user, be careful read [00:05:00] reviews about dating apps. You're downloading. Make sure those reviews are from credible sources because if I were to spin up an app that was malicious, I would also spin up multiple websites. That had fake reviews. So check things out like forbes.com or any sort of reputable third party. Site that you know, and trust for these reviews. If they don't have anything on there, it's not worth. Getting on there. Maybe this app. Offered you some sort of incentive to download it you know, free premium for a year. If you're one of the first hundred downloads, Just to remember that if anything seems too good to be true, it probably is stick to the basics, especially during this season. Tinder hinge, Bumble. Meet up with the person before sending the money. All that stuff. Just be safe out there. Dating is a business. it's a top seller for. Corporate conglomerates to use your romance against you and hackers also know that. So make sure to [00:06:00] stay safe out there. Send us a DM. If you have any questions, if you want to send us some screenshots, we'll happy to take a look at them. The next article comes from the south China morning post and discusses a groundbreaking scam that rocked a multi-national companies, Hong Kong office, leading to a loss of Hong Kong, $200 million through the use of deep fake technology. The story penned by Harvey Kong unfolds a sophisticated scheme where criminals used digital wizardry to impersonate the company's chief financial officer. And other staff members that a video call. That's crazy. I'm on video calls all day for work. Looking around seeing the faces that I know. Every day. They could be deep fakes, you know, I don't know how these people got the video footage to make the deep fake, but. That's insane. This is a new level of the cyber frontier, in my opinion, where we can have videos of [00:07:00] people we know. Asking you for money. Okay. So imagine sitting in a video conference and everyone looks and sounds exactly as you expect. But none of them are there. That's what happened. The scammers were able to convincingly mimic the CFO and others. Tricking and employee into transferring $200 million to fraudulent accounts. So there's not much more to this story other than the fact that it's absolutely mind blowing. What can we trust nowadays? How can we prevent this type of thing? I think this goes back to trust, but verify. you should never do anything based on one. Interaction. Say someone called you from CVS or from the power company or from wherever and asked you for money. Right. You're going to trust that that's a real interaction, but you're also going to verify that it's a real interaction by calling back. Like hanging up the phone, calling the verified number that you found in the yellow pages or in some reputable source. So this is the same thing. If the CFO is looking you in the eyes, And asked you to transfer [00:08:00] $200 million. Definitely send finance and email, send the CFO an email, just confirming that this is the number that's correct. You got to trust, but verify. So that's the new model going forward in this digital age is trust, but verify, think about ways in which you can verify what you just experienced because. Nowadays, there's a chance. My voice has been mimicked on AI. face may have been too. I've received calls saying that someone in my life has been hurt from someone who sounds exactly like my mother. It's not safe out there. Trust, but verify. Oh You [00:08:42] offsetkeyz: And finally just an interesting perspective story for this one. Becky Bracken from the dark reading.com. Discussed what brings teenagers and cyber crime together? I just think this is pretty interesting to think about. Because when I think of someone who's performing cyber crimes or really any sort of [00:09:00] sophisticated attack. I tend to think of mature adults between the age of 28 and 55. That's just what picture I paint in my head. But a lot of these cyber attacks are from kids who are living in their parents' basement. 16 year olds, 15 year olds. You know, I was just reading about. How Mozilla Firefox and Facebook were both founded and created by teenagers, right? Both of them at the time. We're created by teenagers. So it's kind of transformed from these Silicon valley startups, the teenagers, trying to get in early and use their technical skills. To create a career for themselves. They're now pivoting more towards hacks and. Using the internet for their advantage. What you're doing on a computer in your parents' house feels safe and it feels like. It's legal. It's just typing things in. You're not actually going out and [00:10:00] committing a crime, even though the stakes are way higher. You can also mask yourself pretty well. And especially during that, those ages of maybe 15 to 20. You feel invincible? You feel like, maybe you just got your driver's license, maybe your whatever, you're invincible, you see. Nothing can touch you. And I know we've all done questionable things in our youth because of the lack of maturity and the lack of understanding of the implications of those things. And thinking about these kids. Who are. You know, ransom wearing. The banking industry. If it's accessible. I I probably. Would have as well, because I was a dumb teenager. Not saying I would now by any means. Absolutely not dedicated my life to not doing that and preventing others from doing it. But just I'll be the first to admit that I was a dumb teenager and I also had some skills behind the keyboard, so I [00:11:00] probably would have to. Just for the kicks, you know? So this article. On dark reading.com. You can find it in our show notes. Talks about what motivates kids to get into cybersecurity. And it's, it's exactly that. Maybe they're just curious. Maybe they're under some sort of financial pressure. Maybe their family is having a hard time making ends meet. There's just thrill of the challenge or, you know, they'd seem risk-free. These are the main. Reasons that children are turning to it. And the article also discusses ways that we can. Turn around and try to prevent this as a community, as a culture. And it's really interesting perspectives. But there's also things that we need to think about, especially if you're a teacher or someone who's influencing young children, a parent. Et cetera. Think about opportunities you're giving to your child to satisfy those itches. In a healthy, safe, legal way. How are you? Keeping them curious and challenging them. You know, school is not [00:12:00] challenging for most teenagers. It could be challenging just because they're failing. Doesn't mean it's challenging. maybe they're too bored. Maybe they're having a hard time paying attention. And the only thing they can pay attention to is. Like dark. Web crimes. So we need to find ways to stimulate the children in our lives and keep them engaged, you know, make sure they're not under any financial pressure. If, if their behaviors change overnight. I know that's what teenager dumb is about behaviors changing, but. You know, maybe they're really happy one day and really depressed the next day. And they stay in this lump and then they get like really happy again. Check in with them. Be normal people don't be dictators. Make sure they're healthy and safe. And that T is a, another lecture from someone who doesn't have children. So sorry to mansplain parenting to you. I just. I see a lot of children getting busted and put in jail with million dollar fines for doing ransomware from their parents' house. So. None of you want that for [00:13:00] your children? None of you want that for your students. So let's find creative ways to engage them in ways that the dark web could. See, I think that's it for today. Thank you so much for listening. Moving forward. we're going to be cutting back to four days of news and then one day. Friday or Wednesday or whatever day we choose will be a bonus segment. If you caught our bonus segment this last Saturday, I hope you enjoyed it. And I hope you're looking forward to. Learning more about ways you can build industry standard experience from your own house. We've got some ideas about how to bring in some guest speakers and some people with actual. Authority in the area of hiring entry-level cybersecurity professionals to discuss. The validity of the projects that we're going to be introducing to you and Yeah, leave us a comment below. Give us a follow on Instagram or X or anywhere that we are. We have a website we're on Reddit. We are trying to get the word out there. I've been really. Really humbled by the amount of support [00:14:00] that we've had. Coworkers, friends, family members, and. People are telling other people in it, it means a lot to us. We're going to keep it up as much as we can. We will talk to you tomorrow.

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The Black Knight Before Christmasby  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;My panties were hung on the bedpost with care,As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed,As visions of huge cock danced in my head;My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip,I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound,I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound;And naked away, to the window I dashed,Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold,Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold.When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year,With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick,I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick.While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came,As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen!It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'!From the tip of my rod to the sack of my ballsI'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!”His words, they made my fantasies fly;And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs;And started to spread and rub my bare lipsNow slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock,And knew at the front door awaited my cock.I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs,Hot for the stud who awaited me there.When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment;Entered the room and tore off my garment;And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch;My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth,His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath;I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry,And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry.Hearing my breathing had become quite quickHe knew it was time to show me his prick.He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly,And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!”It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand;When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand;So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat;I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk,And sliding his finger inside of my ass,I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor,And licked the last drops of cum like a whore.And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod,“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!”And To All A Good Lay by  foehn. Recited by Connor.'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers,my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!”You'd already laid down your stockings with care,and come to molest me in my easy chair.The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last,and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast,You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down,and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown.He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic,desiring our session of love to be drastic.Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft,you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!By flickering firelight, its head disappeared,when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared,The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass,as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass.Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air,as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere.I took in the view with a wilting erection,and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?”Santa was hopping and howling in hurt;I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt,And taking the pot, knocking over my rum,I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed,to think that this Christmas, he well could have died;And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping,I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping.When I recognized the odd look on his face,I reminded him, he had invaded our space.“And now come to think of it, where are the toys?“Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.”I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket,to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.)He walked to the chimney, and reaching within,unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din.“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?”He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,”and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong,he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong.He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree,and turning he gave me, a new DVD;there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case,and one of them seemed to be wearing your face!He gave a big wink, walked right out the door.I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor.where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare.beneath the big blanket, now covering you there.I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side;you were already giving, your new dong a ride!And what had gone limp from our rude interruption,now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention.I reached for your free hand and guided it where;it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air.and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh,“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!”Her Night Before Christmasby Ug. Recited by NatashaTwas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.No creature was stirring, not even a mouse.The stockings were worn by the woman with care,She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair.The woman who should have been snug in her bed,the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head.And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor,so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger.To her door he did wander, and gave it a push,Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.He spied a light on, in a room and did wander.looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder.Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair.This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair.He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake,but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake.He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle.which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle.The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver.decided to cup one, still she did not shiver.Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress.and finding her nipple, an interesting quest.He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh.and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high.Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin,to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside.and with his free hand, then parted her thighs.And moving between, her legs he did shove.Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair,His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair.and into her pussy, his dick did so slam.then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram.He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved.Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove.She still was asleep, unaware of the world,so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.He pushed her legs back, up over her head,And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed.He started to grunt, whilst having his fun.Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.He held himself still, til catching his breath,and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left.He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress,and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door,before looking round, til he finally swore.“Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”,then crept from the house, and left her alone.He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so,soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow.But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light,“Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!”T'was The Night Before Christmasby LostNlove. Recited by Emily.It was the night before Christmas;And all through my house.The Candles were glowing;And I was quite soused.The fire was warm;And so was the brandy.As I wrapped up the gifts;I was feeling quite randy.I sat in my nightie;Short silky and white.Hoping when Santa showed;He'd enjoy such a sight.Then top of the stairs;I heard a deep groan.It sounded familiar;I let out a moan.I turned round to see;And what do you know.There stood my Santa;His shaft in a bow.I saw that red ribbon;Round that cock so hard.And jumped off the couch;Without self regard.When he saw I was tipsy;He laughed and came down.I untied that bow;And wrapped my lips ‘round.Oh, what a present!I'm one happy wench.I sucked it then faster;my nipples he pinched.I rose to my feet;L and licking my lips.Then, held mistletoe;while he gave me a kiss.We moved to the couchWhere he laid me back.And thrust in his cock;All the way to his sack.When my hips rocked he said;Oh You like that I see.”I said,“Yes all though better;On the floor on my knees.”“No problem my dear;Anything that you wish.But first come here;Give me one more kiss.”I kissed his lips softly;Then I got on the floor.He teased so I begged;“Santa please give me more.”He lifted my nightie;Up over my ass.As he gave it a slap;I let out a loud gasp.“I've watched you this year;You're so naughty but nice.”He shoved it in deep saying,“Now, let's do this twice!”I slammed back against him,As he slammed into me.I didn't yet notice;Rug burns on my knees.I moaned and I came;my juices did flow.he pounded yet faster;deep as he could go.I came then again;and convulsed quite a bit.My fingers pressed hard;On my swollen clit.As I came I could feel;His dick start to swell.He smacked on my ass;And I let out a yell.“For when you were naughty,that will suffice.and now here is something;For when you've been nice.”He grabbed my hips tight,And his cock shot a pop.I soon came again;begging please do not stop.His dick throbbed and squirted;I thought I might scream.Oh the wonderful pleasure;Of Santa's hot cream!We collapsed on the floor,His hands in my hair,Then asleep by the fire,Without any care.As he was leaving;Before the sunlight.“Oh my darling;You're such a delight!”Twats The Night Before Christmasby  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas.Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block;Nothing was stirring, except for my cock.Her panties were hung by the chimney with care,I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.I was horny and naked all snug in my bed,While visions of big boobs danced in my head.With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck,I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.When out by the hearth there arose such a noise,It sounded like girls and could not be boys.Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude,We might have guests, I couldn't be rude.Moonlight from the window cast a warm glowAnd gave my firm cock a good reason to grow;When, what should appear through my old reading glasses,But eight college girls, and their really firm asses,With little shy giggles, so lively and quick,I knew in a moment they wanted my dick.I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing,But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing;“I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly!I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie!From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match,My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch;So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds,I was anxious to learn who would first give me head;And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick,The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick.Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits,While each girl behind her all played with her clit.My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch,Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch;A sack full of toys she brought for the girls,It was full of vibrators with one made of pearlsTheir eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry!Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry!The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor,They pleasured each other, but all wanted more.Each girl took a turn and came over to me,They mounted my cock by the light of the tree.Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast,My biggest concern was how long I would last.Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet,I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet.With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast,My wife let me know that she would be next.They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick,and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick.She lowered her pussy right onto my rod,We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad.Of all the pussies my wife's was the best,My cock was now tired and needed a rest.With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early,She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly.She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple,My smile was so big and showed off my dimple.She moved to their clits, and then one by one,Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.With evry girl limp and could take nothing more,They eventually dressed and went for the door.But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight,“Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.”Tinder Christmas EveBy HarryDNewhouse  Recited by AriaTwas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV.So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie.My kinky companion, was up for some fun.I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won.“Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone.No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone.I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick.I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick.There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back.It opens with ease, for you and your sack.I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty.Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!”A mince pie and brandy were left on the table.Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!'Well imagine my shock, when later that night.I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear.‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear'I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free.His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride.Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side.My night dress was lifted, my body left bare.Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair.The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan.Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home.By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore.If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more.Many strikes later, he decided to rise.I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs.It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there.Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair.‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal.Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'.Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise.A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor.‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!'His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered.‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered.Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded.Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded.A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice.We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice.Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied.He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride.But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?'I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen.A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass.And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass.Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen.Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen.I yet was astonished, on tinder to find.‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'.Thus read the message, from my kinky friend.That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End.Night Before Christmas: ParodyBy Eurika. Recited by RyanTwas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house'Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse.Her stockings were flung on the end of the table,But I was alone watching porn over cable.I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock.To shoot my load in an old ragged sock.From the upstairs, came a noise so gay,I jumped from my chair,  seeking some randy play.I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door'to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor.For a moment, arose such a hot burning,Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning.A little old man, she was sucking his dick.He was dressed in all red, Oh God it’s Saint Nick.His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red.My wife was below him, and giving him head.She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught.I wasn’t upset though. I thought it was hot!He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice.She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.”I gave them a smile, and nodded my head,Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed.He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free,He turned her round so she, was looking at me.Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick,She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick.At first he was slow, til she started to cum.He then fucked her hard, until she was done.He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack,And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back.He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.”He pulled up his pants, and started to go.“Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave.It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.”Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy,we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy.We looked out the window, her pussy still wet.he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jetI squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight.She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“Kay's Christmas WorshipBy drive me wilder. Recited by ClaraTwas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed.Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head.Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked,Giving him love, as they waited for Nick.Teasing his tip, then taking him deep.Both knew that this night, they’d not get much sleep.Laid out on his back, and watching her bob.His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob.It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit.She loves this good man, and she’ll never quit.Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view.Her loving like this, is giving and true.Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke.Sometimes very deep, without any choke.Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball.He’s one lucky man, tonight he stands tall.Picking the pace up, and starting to moan.There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone.It’s starting to build, there is no turning back.His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack.Rope after rope, His love juice explodes.And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads.And looking at him, with those loving eyes.His love for this woman, for her he would die.His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose,A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes.She closes her mouth, He knows what’s to follow,One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows.She worships his cock, her love pole her toy.She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy.For now it’s all over, his heart is in bliss.More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce.Donna's Night Before ChristmasBy Gaurd. Recited by Molly.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.My stockings seductively, laid on the chair,In vain hope he’d take me, right then and there.But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed.While visions of fucking, danced in my head.Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap!Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter’s nap.When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter.I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter.Despite my attire, to the window I flew.Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view.In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show.I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below.And what to my wondering, eyes could I see.But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me.I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick.But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick.More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame.He whistled and shouted, and called out my name!"Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid.Come on my vixen, don’t try to look stupid.Come down to the porch! And open the door!Now dash and come down! I want to see more!With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain,I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain.Despite my frustration, I got back to bed.'Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead!I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way.Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée.Then To my amazement, In trembling I found.The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound.He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe.Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show!Up I was bundled, and flung on my back.He open his suit, and showed me his sack.His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!It looked he’d already, been hard at the sherry!My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below.My best Christmas gift,  he presented to show.The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby.Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby.But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head.Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work.Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk.He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side.He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide!His gift was so large, I nearly had cried.I came more than once, from his big woody ride.And then out he pulled, and over my belly.He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly!He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear.And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer.And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away."Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The Black Knight Before Christmasby  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stirring, not even my spouse;My panties were hung on the bedpost with care,As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed,As visions of huge cock danced in my head;My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip,I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound,I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound;And naked away, to the window I dashed,Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold,Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold.When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year,With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick,I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick.While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came,As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen!It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'!From the tip of my rod to the sack of my ballsI'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!”His words, they made my fantasies fly;And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs;And started to spread and rub my bare lipsNow slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock,And knew at the front door awaited my cock.I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs,Hot for the stud who awaited me there.When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment;Entered the room and tore off my garment;And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch;My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth,His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath;I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry,And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry.Hearing my breathing had become quite quickHe knew it was time to show me his prick.He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly,And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!”It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand;When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand;So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat;I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk,And sliding his finger inside of my ass,I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor,And licked the last drops of cum like a whore.And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod,“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!”And To All A Good Lay by  foehn. Recited by Connor.'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers,my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!”You'd already laid down your stockings with care,and come to molest me in my easy chair.The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last,and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast,You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down,and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown.He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic,desiring our session of love to be drastic.Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft,you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!By flickering firelight, its head disappeared,when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared,The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass,as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass.Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air,as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere.I took in the view with a wilting erection,and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?”Santa was hopping and howling in hurt;I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt,And taking the pot, knocking over my rum,I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed,to think that this Christmas, he well could have died;And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping,I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping.When I recognized the odd look on his face,I reminded him, he had invaded our space.“And now come to think of it, where are the toys?“Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.”I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket,to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.)He walked to the chimney, and reaching within,unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din.“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?”He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,”and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong,he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong.He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree,and turning he gave me, a new DVD;there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case,and one of them seemed to be wearing your face!He gave a big wink, walked right out the door.I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor.where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare.beneath the big blanket, now covering you there.I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side;you were already giving, your new dong a ride!And what had gone limp from our rude interruption,now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention.I reached for your free hand and guided it where;it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air.and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh,“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!”Her Night Before Christmasby Ug. Recited by NatashaTwas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.No creature was stirring, not even a mouse.The stockings were worn by the woman with care,She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair.The woman who should have been snug in her bed,the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head.And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor,so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger.To her door he did wander, and gave it a push,Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.He spied a light on, in a room and did wander.looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder.Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair.This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair.He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake,but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake.He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle.which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle.The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver.decided to cup one, still she did not shiver.Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress.and finding her nipple, an interesting quest.He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh.and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high.Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin,to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside.and with his free hand, then parted her thighs.And moving between, her legs he did shove.Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair,His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair.and into her pussy, his dick did so slam.then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram.He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved.Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove.She still was asleep, unaware of the world,so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.He pushed her legs back, up over her head,And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed.He started to grunt, whilst having his fun.Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.He held himself still, til catching his breath,and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left.He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress,and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door,before looking round, til he finally swore.“Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”,then crept from the house, and left her alone.He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so,soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow.But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light,“Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!”T'was The Night Before Christmasby LostNlove. Recited by Emily.It was the night before Christmas;And all through my house.The Candles were glowing;And I was quite soused.The fire was warm;And so was the brandy.As I wrapped up the gifts;I was feeling quite randy.I sat in my nightie;Short silky and white.Hoping when Santa showed;He'd enjoy such a sight.Then top of the stairs;I heard a deep groan.It sounded familiar;I let out a moan.I turned round to see;And what do you know.There stood my Santa;His shaft in a bow.I saw that red ribbon;Round that cock so hard.And jumped off the couch;Without self regard.When he saw I was tipsy;He laughed and came down.I untied that bow;And wrapped my lips ‘round.Oh, what a present!I'm one happy wench.I sucked it then faster;my nipples he pinched.I rose to my feet;L and licking my lips.Then, held mistletoe;while he gave me a kiss.We moved to the couchWhere he laid me back.And thrust in his cock;All the way to his sack.When my hips rocked he said;Oh You like that I see.”I said,“Yes all though better;On the floor on my knees.”“No problem my dear;Anything that you wish.But first come here;Give me one more kiss.”I kissed his lips softly;Then I got on the floor.He teased so I begged;“Santa please give me more.”He lifted my nightie;Up over my ass.As he gave it a slap;I let out a loud gasp.“I've watched you this year;You're so naughty but nice.”He shoved it in deep saying,“Now, let's do this twice!”I slammed back against him,As he slammed into me.I didn't yet notice;Rug burns on my knees.I moaned and I came;my juices did flow.he pounded yet faster;deep as he could go.I came then again;and convulsed quite a bit.My fingers pressed hard;On my swollen clit.As I came I could feel;His dick start to swell.He smacked on my ass;And I let out a yell.“For when you were naughty,that will suffice.and now here is something;For when you've been nice.”He grabbed my hips tight,And his cock shot a pop.I soon came again;begging please do not stop.His dick throbbed and squirted;I thought I might scream.Oh the wonderful pleasure;Of Santa's hot cream!We collapsed on the floor,His hands in my hair,Then asleep by the fire,Without any care.As he was leaving;Before the sunlight.“Oh my darling;You're such a delight!”Twats The Night Before Christmasby  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas.Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block;Nothing was stirring, except for my cock.Her panties were hung by the chimney with care,I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.I was horny and naked all snug in my bed,While visions of big boobs danced in my head.With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck,I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.When out by the hearth there arose such a noise,It sounded like girls and could not be boys.Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude,We might have guests, I couldn't be rude.Moonlight from the window cast a warm glowAnd gave my firm cock a good reason to grow;When, what should appear through my old reading glasses,But eight college girls, and their really firm asses,With little shy giggles, so lively and quick,I knew in a moment they wanted my dick.I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing,But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing;“I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly!I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie!From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match,My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch;So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds,I was anxious to learn who would first give me head;And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick,The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick.Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits,While each girl behind her all played with her clit.My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch,Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch;A sack full of toys she brought for the girls,It was full of vibrators with one made of pearlsTheir eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry!Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry!The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor,They pleasured each other, but all wanted more.Each girl took a turn and came over to me,They mounted my cock by the light of the tree.Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast,My biggest concern was how long I would last.Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet,I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet.With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast,My wife let me know that she would be next.They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick,and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick.She lowered her pussy right onto my rod,We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad.Of all the pussies my wife's was the best,My cock was now tired and needed a rest.With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early,She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly.She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple,My smile was so big and showed off my dimple.She moved to their clits, and then one by one,Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.With evry girl limp and could take nothing more,They eventually dressed and went for the door.But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight,“Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.”Tinder Christmas EveBy HarryDNewhouse  Recited by AriaTwas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV.So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie.My kinky companion, was up for some fun.I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won.“Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone.No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone.I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick.I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick.There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back.It opens with ease, for you and your sack.I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty.Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!”A mince pie and brandy were left on the table.Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!'Well imagine my shock, when later that night.I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear.‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear'I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free.His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride.Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side.My night dress was lifted, my body left bare.Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair.The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan.Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home.By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore.If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more.Many strikes later, he decided to rise.I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs.It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there.Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair.‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal.Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'.Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise.A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor.‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!'His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered.‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered.Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded.Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded.A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice.We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice.Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied.He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride.But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?'I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen.A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass.And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass.Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen.Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen.I yet was astonished, on tinder to find.‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'.Thus read the message, from my kinky friend.That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End.Night Before Christmas: ParodyBy Eurika. Recited by RyanTwas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house'Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse.Her stockings were flung on the end of the table,But I was alone watching porn over cable.I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock.To shoot my load in an old ragged sock.From the upstairs, came a noise so gay,I jumped from my chair,  seeking some randy play.I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door'to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor.For a moment, arose such a hot burning,Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning.A little old man, she was sucking his dick.He was dressed in all red, Oh God it’s Saint Nick.His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red.My wife was below him, and giving him head.She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught.I wasn’t upset though. I thought it was hot!He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice.She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.”I gave them a smile, and nodded my head,Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed.He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free,He turned her round so she, was looking at me.Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick,She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick.At first he was slow, til she started to cum.He then fucked her hard, until she was done.He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack,And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back.He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.”He pulled up his pants, and started to go.“Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave.It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.”Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy,we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy.We looked out the window, her pussy still wet.he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jetI squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight.She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“Kay's Christmas WorshipBy drive me wilder. Recited by ClaraTwas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed.Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head.Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked,Giving him love, as they waited for Nick.Teasing his tip, then taking him deep.Both knew that this night, they’d not get much sleep.Laid out on his back, and watching her bob.His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob.It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit.She loves this good man, and she’ll never quit.Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view.Her loving like this, is giving and true.Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke.Sometimes very deep, without any choke.Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball.He’s one lucky man, tonight he stands tall.Picking the pace up, and starting to moan.There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone.It’s starting to build, there is no turning back.His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack.Rope after rope, His love juice explodes.And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads.And looking at him, with those loving eyes.His love for this woman, for her he would die.His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose,A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes.She closes her mouth, He knows what’s to follow,One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows.She worships his cock, her love pole her toy.She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy.For now it’s all over, his heart is in bliss.More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce.Donna's Night Before ChristmasBy Gaurd. Recited by Molly.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse.My stockings seductively, laid on the chair,In vain hope he’d take me, right then and there.But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed.While visions of fucking, danced in my head.Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap!Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter’s nap.When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter.I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter.Despite my attire, to the window I flew.Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view.In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show.I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below.And what to my wondering, eyes could I see.But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me.I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick.But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick.More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame.He whistled and shouted, and called out my name!"Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid.Come on my vixen, don’t try to look stupid.Come down to the porch! And open the door!Now dash and come down! I want to see more!With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain,I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain.Despite my frustration, I got back to bed.'Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead!I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way.Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée.Then To my amazement, In trembling I found.The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound.He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe.Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show!Up I was bundled, and flung on my back.He open his suit, and showed me his sack.His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!It looked he’d already, been hard at the sherry!My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below.My best Christmas gift,  he presented to show.The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby.Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby.But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head.Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work.Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk.He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side.He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide!His gift was so large, I nearly had cried.I came more than once, from his big woody ride.And then out he pulled, and over my belly.He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly!He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear.And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer.And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away."Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

*This episode was recorded prior to the start of the SAG-AFTRA strike.* LOOK OUT! It's only Films To Be Buried With! Join your host Brett Goldstein as he talks life, death, love and the universe with hilarious comic and writer ATHENA KUGBLENU! Below will be the original writeup for this episode which originally aired February 21st 2019. Even further back than the previous week's rewind, which makes it so fascinating to re-contextualise. This was recorded before pandemic times, and literally almost 2 months after Athena giving birth, so it's a huge one - so enjoyable and definitely one worth hearing once more in all its glory. Video and extra audio available on Brett's Patreon! (video available where possible) ––––––––––––––––––––––––– Surely one of the most hardcore Films To Be Buried With guests at that, as Athena is mere days after giving birth - that's some solid dedication to the craft of podcasting right there! And we are blessed by her golden presence, as Brett sets things off proper from the get go, which provides us with gem after gem including her brand new parent role, attending the cinema with her then unborn baby and working out what it responded to, how she enjoys her horror movies with a cup of sweet tea at the end (that's actually a perfect combo) and SO much more… How much more? Well, the question “What in the world happened to Billy Zane?” gets posed, and also Athena makes Brett very angry - why, you may ask? Oh… You'll find out… While films get spoiled all over the shop in the podcast, this writeup is a spoiler-free zone, people. ENJOY ATHENA! HOME IMDB INSTAGRAM TWITTER MANY LINKS! BRETT on TWITTER BRETT on INSTAGRAM TED LASSO SHRINKING SOUL MATES SUPERBOB (Brett's 2015 feature film) CORNERBOYS with BRETT & SCROOBIUS PIP DISTRACTION PIECES NETWORK • FACEBOOK / INSTAGRAMSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Al and Codey talk about Usagi Shima Timings 00:00:00: Theme Tune 00:00:30: Intro 00:02:05: What Have We Been Up To 00:10:49: News 00:26:50: Usagi Shima 00:58:19: Outro Links Loddlenaut Release Date Ooblets Update Ikoeni Island Roadmap Spells and Secrets Release Content Out and About Kickstarter The Ranchers Release Update Usagi Shima Contact Al on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheScotBot Al on Mastodon: https://mastodon.scot/@TheScotBot Email Us: https://harvestseason.club/contact/ Transcript (30s) Al: Hello, farmers, and welcome to another episode of the harvest season. (34s) Al: My name is Al, and we are here today to talk about Cottagecore games. (36s) Codey: And my name is Cody. (38s) Codey: Whoo, you’re so low energy. (41s) Al: Woo. (43s) Al: (45s) Codey: Listeners, we were just like screaming at each other over the microphone talking about inconvenient humans. (46s) Al: Bye. (55s) Codey: The energy level is there somewhere. (56s) Al: Yeah, well, we just used it all up, that’s the problem. (1m) Codey: No, I still got more. (1m 4s) Codey: I can still I can still go. (1m 6s) Al: Well, you can always go for something, but you need to have something to actually rant about. (1m 12s) Al: Anyway. (1m 13s) Al: As always, transcripts are available for the podcast in the show notes and on the website, (1m 18s) Al: so go get them if you need them. (1m 22s) Al: episode we’re going to talk about. Let’s see if I can pronounce this. (1m 26s) Al: Usagi Shima. Usagi Shima. It’s a new mobile game. So of course, Cody had to be on because Cody is the mobile game. That’s the word, correspondent. I was like, “What’s the word, (1m 27s) Codey: That’s how I say usagi shima. (1m 37s) Codey: Correspondent, it me. (1m 39s) Codey: Yep. Yep. (1m 41s) Al: person? News person?” Yes, correspondent. That is a good one. So we’re going to talk about that. (1m 46s) Al: I suspect Cody has played more than me. We shall see. (1m 54s) Al: We’ve got a bunch of news to talk about. (1m 56s) Al: Thankfully Cody picked up some notes for the news that I had missed, (2m) Al: because apparently I wasn’t reading properly. (2m 3s) Al: So that’s good, we’ll get into all that. (2m 5s) Al: First of all, Cody, what have you been up to? (2m 8s) Codey: I have been, this month has been jam-packed full of insect stuff, whoo! (2m 13s) Codey: So at the beginning of the month there’s a class at my institution that’s like a collections class where they go out and they just camp for a weekend and collect insects the whole time and basically just like hike around and stuff and it was super fun. I got invited even though I’m not in the class anymore. I was in the class in 2020 and it was the plague and so the trip got canceled (2m 38s) Codey: so I was trying to like get, I had asked if I could go and initially had been told no because there’s a ton of students this year but then a bunch of the students bailed and so the professor was like it would be great to have someone that knows what the heck they’re doing. So I went on that and that was a lot of fun and then I actually went on another version of that for the entire (3m 1s) Codey: eastern branch of the Etymological Society of America. So we went out to Delaware and I wanted (3m 8s) Codey: to see horseshoe crabs and a velvet ant and I got to see both of those things. Other than that just doing my research we have next week we have I have an event an insect themed event and I’m also going to the state capitol to talk to legislators about insects conservation. So (3m 35s) Codey: not playing much. I have been playing. (3m 38s) Codey: I have been playing Usagi Shima, and a little bit of Pokemon Go. (3m 42s) Codey: I guess I haven’t. Have I been on since Go Fest? Because I went to Go Fest. (3m 46s) Codey: Yeah, so I went to Go Fest in New York City. That was a ton of fun. (3m 46s) Al: I don’t think so, no. (3m 50s) Codey: Oh, I am. For those who are sitting there wondering, where is my Tetris game? (3m 58s) Codey: Don’t worry. She’s still here. I’ll restart the number of episodes since Tetris game has been (4m 8s) Codey: back down to zero. I am at the Tetris game. I am at 346,000 points. (4m 9s) Al: The Tetris scam. (4m 15s) Codey: So I’m a third of the way through a million points to go on my cruise. (4m 20s) Codey: Oh, yeah, the points don’t reset. And then they have cruises. They have cruise dates that roll over. So when I get closer, when I have enough points, that’s when I’ll look and see. (4m 20s) Al: Awesome. And when’s the deadline for this one? (4m 22s) Al: Oh wait, you said the points. You said the points don’t reset. (4m 36s) Codey: and I’ll see you. (4m 38s) Codey: What cruise I want to go on or whatever and see if my partner wants to go with me and if not, I’ll find someone else. (4m 44s) Codey: So yeah, what about you? What are you going to do? (4m 45s) Al: Cool. Just to… you’d asked about when you were last… you were last on like… (4m 46s) Codey: Oh, you found all that yeah. (4m 55s) Al: Yeah, so it was like literally the episode came out just after New York, but we recorded a couple of days before, I think, didn’t we? So yeah, so you have not talked about that. Yeah, it was literally like you were like, “Oh, I need to do it on like the Wednesday or something, because I’m… (4m 56s) Codey: Yeah, so I haven’t talked about Go Fest then. (5m 8s) Codey: I recorded and then I left so Because I am taking a bus, yeah. (5m 15s) Al: I’m traveling.” And I’m like, “Fair enough. Fair enough.” It’s not like the news was going to get any more out of date, because it was the first one in five weeks that we’d recorded new. So that was not a problem. Anyway, yeah, what have I been up to? Mostly Pokémon. So I’ve been playing through the Pokémon DLC. So I do. I like it, yeah. But I liked the base game anyway. So it doesn’t fix any (5m 42s) Al: of the problems of the base game really but… (5m 45s) Al: I like the story, I like the characters, well, I hate the characters but I like the story, (5m 51s) Al: I like what they did with the characters, kind of. I have some issues anyway, (5m 57s) Al: we don’t need to get into the details of that. I like the new Pokémon and I like their just being a new… I like the new areas I feel personally quite nicely designed, I quite like it. (6m 11s) Al: And I’ve just been enjoying walking around catching Pokémon, so I have to… (6m 15s) Al: Done the DLC on one of my games, and I’ve just started it on my other game. (6m 19s) Al: So yeah, going well, enjoying it. (6m 20s) Codey: Yeah, I still have not finished. (6m 20s) Al: It’s literally the research part of the game though, like that is the bit that is you. (6m 23s) Codey: I still haven’t even gotten to areas here, so. (6m 27s) Codey: Yep. (6m 32s) Codey: It is. (6m 35s) Codey: So it’s the part I think where I’m stuck is I’m fighting Arvin and he keeps kicking my butt. (6m 42s) Codey: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, I beat him. (6m 43s) Al: Ah… (6m 44s) Al: Delete 4. (6m 45s) Codey: And now I have to beat the four. (6m 47s) Codey: That’s where I’m at. (6m 50s) Codey: Yeah, and I hate that’s my least favorite part of all Pokemon games. (6m 50s) Al: Okay. (6m 51s) Al: I will say, I think I found Arvin more difficult as a battle. (6m 52s) Codey: Yeah, he was he I was face face bashing against him for a while because he was pretty difficult. (7m 2s) Codey: But now I’m at the Elite Four, but I just didn’t have the energy for it anymore. (7m 8s) Codey: And I have other stuff to do. (7m 11s) Codey: Yeah, like a PhD. (7m 12s) Al: Well, what stuff to do? What? (7m 14s) Al: Crazy idea. So yeah, mostly, I think just mostly Pokémon. I’ve played a couple of other things as well, but mostly I’m just kind of trying to get through Pokémon as much as possible before whatever the next game I’m meant to be playing is comes out. What am I meant to be playing there? (7m 18s) Codey: and be in. (7m 35s) Codey: Probably Manneco’s night market or something because that’s yeah, not very far from here. Oh You’re so excited are you excited? (7m 37s) Al: Yes, Maneko comes out on Wednesday. Yep. No, Tuesday. Tuesday. (7m 42s) Al: Not Wednesday. Oh, my word. Right. OK. I have, I think, I think I’ve given myself four days to play that game before we do the episode on it. (7m 54s) Codey: Four days off, oh, okay, no. (7m 54s) Al: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So we’ll see. I mean, like Tuesday hits and I start playing that game immediately. (7m 56s) Codey: Not days off, you don’t have days off. (8m 5s) Codey: Have you ever done that? Have you ever taken like one of games coming out like taking time off to focus on playing a game? (8m 10s) Al: So I… (8m 12s) Al: I haven’t, and the reason that I haven’t is because when you have kids, you take a day off and then you don’t spend it helping with the kids. (8m 23s) Codey: - Do it. - Yep. (8m 24s) Al: Like, it doesn’t really make much sense. (8m 27s) Al: So I haven’t. (8m 28s) Al: I like the idea of it, and I’m sure that I would do that at some point when the kids don’t need to be just looked after. (8m 37s) Al: And there isn’t always more cleaning to be doing or whatever. (8m 42s) Al: I mean, I’ve taken a day where I’m technically working and I maybe spend an hour working at the beginning of the day and then don’t for the rest of the day and just play the game. (8m 53s) Codey: Yep. (8m 54s) Al: But, of course not. If my employer’s listening, I’ve never done that. (8m 54s) Codey: Nope. (8m 58s) Al: Don’t know what you’re talking about. (9m) Al: Of course, of course, of course. (9m) Codey: Not your current employer. (9m 3s) Codey: That was with a previous employer. (9m 5s) Codey: It was different. (9m 5s) Codey: You’ve learned. (9m 6s) Al: Now, I would never do it with my current employer or any future employers. (9m 9s) Codey: No, you’ve learned. (9m 10s) Al: employers. (9m 10s) Codey: And I was going to say, I don’t do that as a PhD student, (9m 12s) Al: Yeah, I was gonna say you don’t play games on your day off, never mind days on. (9m 14s) Codey: but I genuinely don’t do that. (9m 16s) Codey: As a PhD, I can’t even be coy about it. (9m 18s) Codey: I just don’t do that. (9m 20s) Codey: Let’s be honest. (9m 21s) Codey: I have a day off right now I’m sleeping. (9m 23s) Codey: Yeah, I just sleep, I sleep, I take my dog to the dog park, I try and get caught up on cleaning. (9m 27s) Al: Like… (9m 34s) Codey: But no, I used to take like at least three days off whenever a World of Warcraft expansion came out. (9m 43s) Codey: And I would buy like a bunch of like microwave dinners so that I, it was like the minimum amount amount of time I had to spend away from the game. (9m 53s) Codey: I had a lot of fun with it. (9m 55s) Al: Nice. (9m 55s) Codey: I wish I could be that intense. (9m 56s) Al: Yeah, I suspect, like, I don’t think that being a streamer is an easy job at all. (9m 57s) Codey: Someone wants to pay me to play for the Warcraft. (10m 1s) Codey: It must be at least 40 grand. (10m 10s) Codey: Nope, nope. (10m 11s) Al: But part of me thinks it would be fun to do. (10m 16s) Al: Because even though it would be a lot of work, the then it’s like, oh, well, then I’m finished my work. (10m 25s) Al: I’m going to go and not play games. (10m 26s) Codey: Yep. (10m 26s) Al: It’s like you get to play all your games and then also have your time off. (10m 32s) Al: So that would be that would be fun. (10m 34s) Al: But I know that’s that’s not probably. (10m 38s) Codey: Probably not. (10m 40s) Codey: So yeah, uh, speaking of working, there’s… (10m 43s) Al: What? What? (10m 45s) Codey: We need to work on the news! (10m 46s) Al: Oh, that was painful. Please get better at that. (10m 52s) Al: The first piece of news is Laudelnot. So, Laudelnot, after I think quite a bit of silence, (11m) Al: they’ve not really said much since we first talked about them, but they are releasing on the 16th of November, because we don’t have enough games. (11m 10s) Codey: Didn’t we see them in like the one of the wholesome thingies? (11m 15s) Codey: And then yeah, we haven’t, (11m 16s) Al: Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think that was where we first saw them was the. (11m 20s) Codey: and then we haven’t really heard much after that. (11m 22s) Codey: But yeah, they do be coming out. (11m 25s) Codey: Though I was with their little axolotl. (11m 25s) Al: Yeah, with the Raxalottles. (11m 28s) Al: Ah, no, I didn’t notice that. (11m 30s) Codey: Oh my gosh, that’s why they’re called lottles. (11m 32s) Codey: Did you know that? (11m 37s) Codey: I didn’t either. (11m 37s) Codey: I literally just put that together. (11m 38s) Al: Wow, yeah, Lottle, cute. (11m 40s) Codey: Axolotl, solotl knot. (11m 42s) Codey: Oh my gosh. (11m 44s) Codey: I genuinely had not put that together. (11m 45s) Al: No, I hadn’t either. (11m 48s) Al: I was just like, oh, it’s just funny, funny word, man. (11m 50s) Codey: They’re cute little axolotls. (11m 52s) Codey: No, so it’s really cute. (11m 54s) Codey: In the trailer, they say that you can, (11m 57s) Codey: so you’re building up the world, (11m 59s) Codey: but then they say something like, (12m 1s) Codey: you get to care for them, feed them, and love them. (12m 4s) Al: No… (12m 4s) Codey: And I was like, you can’t make me love something. (12m 6s) Al: It said “you get to”, it said “get to”, it doesn’t say “have to”. You don’t even have to play the game. (12m 8s) Codey: You’re gonna tell me that I have to look. (12m 10s) Codey: I love something. I’m out. (12m 12s) Codey: It’s, I think it said… (12m 14s) Codey: No, it’s funny. (12m 16s) Al: Also, good luck not loving them. Look at their little faces. (12m 19s) Codey: Um, I don’t know. (12m 21s) Codey: Yeah, they are pretty f- (12m 24s) Codey: Look at their stupid little faces! (12m 26s) Codey: And some of their eyes, like, blink. (12m 28s) Codey: Uh, like flicker, light. (12m 30s) Codey: It’s like a little light. So cute. (12m 32s) Codey: So cute! (12m 33s) Codey: Yeah, so that’s coming out. (12m 34s) Al: It is coming out on Windows and Mac on Steam. I don’t think it’s coming on any console. (12m 35s) Codey: Uh, what is coming out on? (12m 40s) Codey: Very nice. (12m 49s) Al: I say I do have it listed as coming out on Switch, but. (12m 53s) Al: But I can’t see any mention of that anymore, so it may or may not be coming out on Switch. (12m 58s) Codey: doo doo doo (13m 3s) Al: I’m not sure we’ll find out in November. (13m 8s) Al: Next, we have Ooblets. (13m 10s) Al: So Ooblets is finally coming out on Steam. (13m 14s) Codey: Mm-hmm. (13m 15s) Al: So it’s releasing on Steam on the 5th of November. (13m 15s) Codey: Oh, did they say– (13m 20s) Codey: sorry, I’m interrupting. (13m 20s) Al: You know, you gotta go for an A. (13m 21s) Codey: 5th of November, woo. (13m 25s) Codey: I was just going to say, is it going to be on Mac? (13m 27s) Codey: Is it Mac also? (13m 31s) Al: No, however, it will work on the Steam Deck hopefully, because it does currently work on the Steam Deck when you install it from Epic, so hopefully that’ll actually work. (13m 43s) Codey: Okay. (13m 43s) Codey: Are you going to do, have you, you’ve already done an episode, right? (13m 48s) Codey: Yeah. (13m 48s) Al: We have done two episodes on it once. I did both episodes of it once. Well, stop playing the game. (13m 50s) Codey: I just didn’t know if you have been on it. (13m 52s) Codey: Okay. (13m 54s) Codey: So you need to stop. (13m 55s) Codey: That’s yeah. (14m 1s) Al: Are you trying to figure out who you’re going to get on the the second harvest of it? (14m 4s) Codey: Who could, who could do the sec? (14m 5s) Codey: Yeah. (14m 6s) Al: I’m sure we’ll, oh you need to get Johnny. That would be brilliant, yeah. (14m 6s) Codey: Who could do the second harvest with me. (14m 7s) Codey: Um, I got to get Johnny. (14m 13s) Codey: He can yell at it with me. (14m 14s) Codey: Um, yeah. (14m 16s) Codey: And so also in this update newsletter, whatever, um, they mentioned that they have a Halloween event update. (14m 24s) Codey: Um, and so everything’s going to get a spooky makeover townsfolk have costumes. (14m 29s) Codey: There’s a brand new event, limited Ooblet. (14m 32s) Codey: No idea what it is, but it has a ghost emoji. (14m 33s) Al: Ooh, do you mean, do you mean, “booblet”? (14m 36s) Codey: Ooh, boo, boo, boolet. (14m 37s) Al: No, not “boob”, no, no, no, “booblet”, that’s not a good one. (14m 43s) Codey: boolet, I don’t know. (14m 45s) Codey: We’ll see what it’s called. (14m 46s) Codey: So there’s a Halloween event. (14m 47s) Codey: Uh, it will run from October 1st through mid November, whatever that means. (14m 50s) Codey: Um, but it may get extended depending on how festive everyone is feeling is literally quotes what they said in the newsletter. (14m 55s) Al: S… (14m 58s) Codey: Um, and then they also show that, uh, there is another major content update version 1.4, um, that will bring little vehicles for your Ooblets to drive. (15m 8s) Al: What yeah, we saw a quick a quick animation we saw a couple months ago. It’s ridiculous (15m 8s) Codey: I believe that we’ve seen this before. (15m 10s) Codey: Like it looked like little monster trucks. (15m 13s) Codey: Yeah. (15m 14s) Codey: So they will be called Oobmobiles. (15m 16s) Codey: Uh, and they said that, uh, they’re not, not sure when, like not no exact date, (15m 22s) Codey: but quote, definitely before the end of the year. (15m 25s) Codey: Yeah. (15m 28s) Codey: Yeah. (15m 30s) Al: Ooh, that’s quite confident considering it’s already September. (15m 32s) Codey: Almost. (15m 33s) Codey: It’s almost over this month flew by it’s gone. (15m 34s) Al: Well, that’s a good point, yeah. Like, where did it go? It’s gone by. (15m 39s) Codey: flew by. It’s gone. (15m 44s) Al: Iconii Island have said they are still planning to exit their early access this year. (15m 55s) Al: they’ve updated their roadmap to confirm the one thing that they’ve done. (16m) Al: I always feel a little bit wary when someone says that something’s coming out in the next three months and they don’t give you a date, but we will see what happens. (16m 10s) Al: Spells and Secrets have updated their demo and their demo is now content complete. So if you have access to the game on Steam, you can play the whole game. So it’s just getting ready. (16m 30s) Al: If you do play this, your save game will not transfer over to the full version of the game. (16m 41s) Codey: Yep, it’s out, you can play it, well the demo’s out, you can play the demo and give them feedback but no save. (16m 50s) Codey: No save to the next, to 1.0, so you will lose all, whatever. (16m 57s) Al: And I don’t think the demo that you can download for free is the full content demo. (17m 4s) Al: I think you have to have had like the early access key that some people did. (17m 7s) Codey: That - was it the alpha people? (17m 10s) Al: Yeah, I think it was the Alpha people. (17m 18s) Al: Well, it would have been me, but apparently I selected the Switch version, not the Steam version. (17m 23s) Al: So I need to contact them and get that changed, because who knows when the Switch one will happen. (17m 30s) Al: Although, interestingly, I paid more money to get the Switch version. (17m 33s) Al: I mean, I don’t know how much time I’ve got. (17m 34s) Codey: You are not able to touch it and other people are touching it. (17m 38s) Codey: It’s like you’re sitting around doing nothing really. (17m 44s) Codey: I mean, you have no other things that you’re doing in your life. (17m 47s) Al: certainly not this year. Look, I mean, I have the rest of the year mapped out in what games I’m playing. The only thing I haven’t got mapped out is the last three weeks of the year, which I’m fully expecting to be taken up by the next Pokémon DLC. So there ain’t no more time this year! (18m 5s) Codey: You’ve heard it here folks. Don’t release any more games. We don’t have time Remember five years ago when we were like could you even have a farming game podcast? Well, they’re even what are you gonna talk about each week? (18m 11s) Al: Please no more games. No more games! (18m 22s) Codey: Correct other people yeah (18m 23s) Al: For what it’s worth, I never said that. (18m 25s) Al: Other people said that to me. (18m 27s) Al: And I was like, it’ll be fine, and oh look, it was fine. (18m 30s) Codey: Well, and I’ll tell people I’ll tell people I’m on a farming game podcast or cottage cork (18m 35s) Codey: and they’re like, wow, like, is that really that? I’m like, yes. (18m 37s) Codey: There, I could skip one episode and miss like, you guys could then talk about a new game. (18m 46s) Codey: Um, and I’d be like, I’ve never heard of this before. (18m 46s) Al: Like, where have you been, where have you been, we’ve been talking about this game for ages, what are you talking about? (18m 50s) Codey: And I’m like, I haven’t listened. (18m 54s) Codey: Speaking of a game that I didn’t know existed, but I’m really interested in, uh, out and about. (19m 3s) Al: which thankfully appears they’ve kind of changed the name. I’m a bit confused because the logo still says ‘wholesome out and about’, which is what it was originally called. Yeah, it’s this one, (19m 11s) Codey: Oh, it was that one. (19m 14s) Al: but now it just seems to be called ‘out and about’ except the logo still says ‘wholesome out and about’. (19m 18s) Al: So I’m a little bit confused as to what the name of the game is, but I’m just going to assume it’s just ‘out and about’ and I’m not going to say ‘wholesome’ anymore because ‘wholesome out and about’ is a stupid name. (19m 28s) Codey: Yes, that’s a little difficult, but out-and-about looks awesome I watched the little trailer that they have for it It’s basically a game where you’re foraging and then you can use the things you forage to cook but they are so when you look at a plant it say you have dandelion in front of you and then you have these like flash cards that you go through and you’re like, okay, like What how do I know what this plant is? (19m 53s) Codey: And then if you flip the dandelion flash card over it tells you exactly how you can, you know, it’s a dandelion. (20m 1s) Codey: So it has a hollow stem. (20m 3s) Codey: It’s got like a certain leaf structure. (20m 5s) Codey: It’s got the certain number of pedals. (20m 6s) Codey: Like it literally teaches you real life foraging things. (20m 11s) Codey: Like these are things that happen in real life and that you have to do in real life. (20m 15s) Codey: And the one thing that I super loved about this steam, uh, news, whatever that they put out, uh, is that they show you at least four or five different (20m 28s) Codey: who are foragers that worked to help them develop the game. (20m 32s) Codey: And they made these people NPCs in the game, which is just so cool. (20m 35s) Al: Yeah. Which is cool. Yeah. (20m 38s) Codey: Like, well, I was gonna, I was literally about to say, no one really does this. (20m 39s) Al: “Epico started a trend.” (20m 42s) Al: I mean, well, no, no. Just because it has happened once before doesn’t mean that the phrase “no one really does this” isn’t accurate. (20m 46s) Codey: And then I was like, wait, like, I don’t think I could say that. (20m 55s) Al: You didn’t say “nobody has done this”. It is true. No one really does this. Yes, “Epico did it with you”, but that’s it. (20m 57s) Codey: Yeah, yeah, yeah and still still also did a lot of good help with the butterflies part of it There was another there was another human. Um, but yeah, no Correct. I mean and that’s the thing is like if games can use the knowledge of other humans and then point to those other humans That is so cool to just say like we didn’t pull this out of our butts like here are the people that (21m 5s) Al: Right, okay, fair enough. But still, still, it’s not another game. (21m 21s) Al: Yeah. Yeah. (21m 23s) Al: It’s citing your sources. (21m 27s) Codey: Do the thing. Yeah, it’s literally Literally show the receipts. Where did you get the information? (21m 28s) Al: This is amazing. If the default in games ends up being like, “Your sources are NPCs in your game,” that would be great. (21m 44s) Codey: I would love that. (21m 45s) Codey: Um, I do love that and I would love that. (21m 48s) Codey: So yeah, they are out on Kickstarter now. (21m 51s) Codey: Uh, currently, Oh, go for it. (21m 51s) Al: Mm-hmm. They’re kick… I was just going to say I suspect what you were going to say, (21m 58s) Al: which is it’s almost hit his goal. It’s only a couple thousand off hitting its goal. (22m 2s) Al: And their estimated delivery is June 2024. Who knows whether that will be early access or not? (22m 9s) Codey: I’m here for it. (22m 13s) Al: Because you never know with Kickstarters because you’re like, “Oh, this is when the game’s coming out.” And then it ends up being early access half the time. Which is fine, just like say that’s what (22m 23s) Codey: Yeah. (22m 24s) Codey: I’m here for it. (22m 27s) Codey: I think it’s really cool if I had, (22m 29s) Codey: well, let’s see how much I can pledge. (22m 31s) Codey: I was gonna say, if I have the money, (22m 33s) Codey: I would totally do this, but I guess they only, (22m 33s) Al: They have a £3,500 tier. (22m 37s) Codey: yeah, that’s the money that I have. (22m 40s) Al: Design an NPC. (22m 41s) Codey: There’s a $70 one where you get a little basket. (22m 47s) Codey: Oh, it’s an in-game basket. (22m 48s) Codey: No. (22m 50s) Codey: I thought it was a real basket. (22m 51s) Codey: I got excited. (22m 52s) Codey: Design and outfit. (22m 54s) Codey: Okay. (22m 55s) Codey: So very cute game. (22m 56s) Codey: Looks real cute, excited about it. (22m 58s) Codey: Back at the end. (23m 1s) Al: Ah yeah. What’s next? Ah the ranchers! They have announced that their early access is coming next year now. I think they had planned to do it this year so now it’s happening next year. (23m 14s) Codey: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yup. Um, which is fine. We’re still looking at it. This was a game that was funded in less than 18 hours. Um, excuse me. Uh, and so it’s obviously well, well, (23m 16s) Al: It’s that time of year, the delaying time of year. (23m 35s) Codey: uh, long awaited. Most comments I’m seeing are people just saying, you know, it takes as long as it takes, please, like, do your, you know, there. (23m 44s) Codey: They’re not yet at the point where it’s like, give us your money back, or money back, cute cowards or anything like that. (23m 48s) Al: I also find that very rarely does that actually happen, even when people are late. Like, if you’re communicative and you’re transparent about these things, generally, unless you take like five years too late, then people are generally pretty understanding. It’s when you don’t communicate, that’s when people are like, “What are you doing? This is ridiculous.” (23m 55s) Codey: Yep. (24m) Codey: Re-legend! (24m 10s) Codey: Yeah. (24m 10s) Codey: Your bidet? (24m 11s) Al: Like my bidet. Oh, have you not listened to last week’s episode? Oh, this week’s episode in fact. (24m 16s) Codey: No. (24m 18s) Codey: It’s literally– that’s what I was– (24m 21s) Codey: I was finishing one thing that I was doing. (24m 25s) Codey: And then one podcast I was listening to about insect wings. (24m 28s) Codey: And then that was the next one. (24m 29s) Al: obviously. Somehow we ended up on this week’s episode talking about, or last week’s episode, (24m 30s) Codey: So yeah, because of that. (24m 33s) Codey: Because I’m all about insects right now. (24m 41s) Al: talking about the portable bidet that I kick-started, and people were very confused about it. (24m 46s) Codey: Oh, okay. (24m 48s) Al: Can I just clarify, because apparently people were confused. The point of this is to take two places that don’t have bidets, right? So like when you go on holiday, or when you’re going out to restaurants and stuff and then you. (24m 59s) Al: Have your bidet with you because not everywhere has a bidet. (25m 2s) Al: I do not have a bidet. (25m 2s) Codey: Do you have a bidet? (25m 3s) Codey: So this is like one that you could, could have at your house, but you could also put it elsewhere. (25m 11s) Codey: I think so. (25m 12s) Codey: Merka does not, is not a bidet friendly place. (25m 16s) Codey: I think there’s a lot of stigma about it. (25m 17s) Al: So, yeah, so this is also like, it’s a handheld battery powered thing, right? So you pour the water into it, you tighten it up, and it is a self-contained battery powered thing, (25m 30s) Al: right? So some people were a bit confused. You’re not plugging this into plumbing, right? (25m 34s) Al: Like it’s a handheld thing. It just looks like a large, like if you look at it physically, (25m 40s) Al: it looks like a large water bottle or something like that. No, no, that’s a bad, no, it doesn’t look like a washer bottle. (25m 47s) Al: I don’t know like a big thing a deodorant or something like that like it’s it’s kind of it’s very (25m 50s) Codey: Yeah, yeah, but then but then it’s upside down and you can. (25m 54s) Codey: Okay, I’m looking at stuff online, some options. (25m 59s) Al: Yeah, but I’m still 90% sure that the one that I backed was a scam. (26m 7s) Al: Anyway, that’s my point. (26m 7s) Codey: Yeah. That’s unfortunate. (26m 10s) Al: The thing is a scam because they don’t communicate, not because they’re late. (26m 14s) Al: Anyway, moving on from the bidet. (26m 17s) Al: I can’t believe we’re talking about bidets twice in a row on this podcast. (26m 20s) Codey: Welcome to bidet cast. (26m 26s) Codey: I don’t know. (26m 29s) Al: I’m trying so hard to think up some puns now. (26m 31s) Al: I’m not sure you have to use something to think up puns for something. (26m 32s) Codey: I don’t use bidet as enough. (26m 33s) Codey: It listeners. (26m 35s) Codey: If you have good bidet puns, please hit us up with those. (26m 37s) Codey: I don’t know. (26m 41s) Codey: Like I, what if I don’t understand what I’m like, I think I understand about a potato, so I don’t… (26m 46s) Al: I think you know what I think you understand. (26m 50s) Codey: But we are here to talk about, gosh, what did I call it? (26m 55s) Codey: When I emailed the developer, (26m 58s) Codey: I don’t remember what I called it, the game we’re playing. (27m 2s) Al: Usagi Shima? What are you talking about? (27m 3s) Codey: I emailed them and I said, (27m 5s) Al: Aha. (27m 8s) Codey: “Thank you for making adorable bunny collection game.” (27m 13s) Codey: So I was having a notification every time I opened the game and they helped me fix it, so. (27m 21s) Al: Well, I mean, it’s so on the app store, it is now called Isagishima cute id. (27m 27s) Codey: Yeah, no, I just like the Sagashima. (27m 29s) Codey: Um, so this is a game, uh, Al wrote down cats. (27m 35s) Codey: Don’t know why he wrote down cats. (27m 36s) Codey: I just left it there cause I was like, I don’t know if you wanted to talk about cats. (27m 37s) Al: I don’t know why did I do that? It’s not cats, it’s bunnies! (27m 41s) Al: I don’t know, they’re all just animals. Bunnies, they are no evidence. (27m 47s) Codey: They’re all buddies, but, uh, from their website, uh, quote, you’ve (27m 57s) Codey: been tasked as caretaker of an abandoned island as you decorate and rebuild it over time, curious, but adorable visitors start to appear. (28m 4s) Codey: Usagi Shima is a casual, relaxing bunny collecting game developed by Godot engine and drawn in Krita. (28m 10s) Codey: Uh, it is heavily inspired by cute soothing games like Neko Atsume and Animal Crossing. (28m 16s) Codey: The game’s namesake and setting draws inspiration from, uh, Okunoshima, a real island in Japan that has a lot of bunny inhabitants. (28m 25s) Al: Interestingly, I was actually looking up Godot, the engine, because of the whole nonsense around Unity, because it’s a game engine like Unity or Unreal. I was just like, “Oh, I wonder if this is finally where Godot will become popular, and wouldn’t it be funny if capitalists becoming more greedy, pushes people to an open source game engine. (28m 36s) Codey: Right. (28m 55s) Al: That would be great. And then I went to look, say, have they got any decent games using it yet? (29m 1s) Al: And one of them was a Sagishima right on the main website for Godot, which is funny. (29m 9s) Al: There were a few others as well. Oh, yes, a cassette beast is in Godot. And a most extraordinary gnome is in Godot. Cruelty Squad is in Godot. And there’s lots of others, but those are just the the ones that kind of people might know. (29m 25s) Al: I just thought it was funny. It’s actually the first one they’ve got listed on their showcase is Usagi Shima. That’s good. (29m 30s) Codey: That’s so funny It’s I mean it it is a cute game Okay, so I guess that was oh I just also want to just say so the name Usagi Shima I guess it’s coming from Okunoshima is a rabbit island Which I googled Okunoshima, and it’s just an island that has a metric hectone of bunnies And you can like play with the bunnies and stuff and super cute (29m 36s) Al: Yep. (30m) Codey: It’s a island in Japan Yeah, if you just look up Okunoshima, it’s adorable and Usagi is Japanese for rabbit, so this is rabbit and then kind of playing towards (30m 27s) Codey: island yeah so usagi shima is just rabbit island (30m 31s) Al: I just, I couldn’t not think about the Friends episode with Unagi when you said Usagi. Unagi. (30m 37s) Codey: I don’t know if I’ve ever watched that one I’ve watched it a lot of friends but (30m 41s) Al: Oh, it’s a ridiculous episode where Ross decides that he suddenly knows this martial art called Unagi. But Unagi just means fish. So he’s like… (30m 53s) Codey: Yeah? (30m 53s) Codey: Yeah. (30m 58s) Codey: That is goober. (31m 1s) Al: Oh, it’s fantastic. (31m 5s) Codey: So I guess like first, before we like really, really jump into this game, what are your thoughts? (31m 9s) Codey: Oh, like base– (31m 11s) Codey: when you first opened the game, how’d you feel? (31m 12s) Al: So I felt a little bit, ironically, a little bit overwhelmed when I first opened it, and let me explain why. So this does a thing that I think probably appeals to a lot of people, but really stresses me out, which is where you’ve got “here’s big empty space” and “here’s tutorial that tells you how to do some stuff” and now “good luck” and you’re like “oh my word” like I don’t… (31m 32s) Codey: Mm-hmm. (31m 42s) Al: It feels like a lot to me, and part of my problem is that I like games that tell you “here’s some things to do” and it’s like, it does give you some of that. So it’s got like a daily task list and it obviously has achievements and stuff like that, but like yeah I just felt a little bit directional-less, if that makes sense. But I think a lot of people probably… (32m 7s) Codey: Yeah. (32m 12s) Al: appreciate that, right? Like there’s no kind of like forcing you to do anything, (32m 17s) Al: there’s just decorating and bunnies, and lots of people like that. So what about you? What did you (32m 22s) Codey: Yep. Yeah, I will. (32m 29s) Codey: First thing I opened this game, I was like, this is adorable. (32m 34s) Codey: It is so cute and like the artwork is so. (32m 40s) Codey: Calming and like the way that everything is is animated and the color scheme that they use, like it’s all there’s nothing abrasive (32m 53s) Codey: going around your island and looking at everything like it’s all really calm colors. (32m 57s) Codey: And there’s no like I kind of like that. (33m 1s) Codey: There’s no direction slash no. (33m 4s) Codey: Nothing like there’s no consequences, I guess, is another thing. (33m 10s) Codey: Because you can always just do stuff tomorrow. (33m 13s) Codey: There’s not really anything like if you miss something that you’re going to miss out on, there’s no FOMO with this game, (33m 19s) Codey: Which is great for me because if I do something like… (33m 22s) Codey: Go play or go try and find bugs for an entire weekend and not touch the game at all I don’t have a problem whereas like I didn’t get to play Tetris that whole weekend and I was like Oh, I missed out on like all of those points So yeah, I really enjoyed it I really like the artwork the music is good too, but I am a chronic turn music offer I don’t really listen to audio in any game (33m 34s) Al: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. (33m 50s) Codey: because it distracts me. (33m 52s) Codey: So I have all the audio off. (33m 52s) Al: » Yeah. Same. (33m 54s) Codey: I will say within a day, (33m 56s) Codey: within probably like a couple hours of trying the game and then I pick it back up and try it again. (34m 2s) Codey: I don’t even think I had gotten an advertisement yet, (34m 5s) Codey: but I went in and paid money to turn off ads and support the developer, like pretty quickly. (34m 12s) Al: Yeah, it’s definitely pretty cheap and pretty worth. (34m 12s) Codey: Well, it’s free, but then you can spend that money to just, (34m 16s) Al: That’s what I mean, sorry. (34m 18s) Codey: to just, yeah, yeah. (34m 19s) Al: Sorry, that’s what I mean. (34m 20s) Al: It’s pretty cheap to get rid of the ads and stuff, which is pretty good. (34m 26s) Al: That, you know, I always feel like when I download a free game and they’ve got like, oh, hey, pay like three quid to do this. (34m 34s) Codey: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. (34m 35s) Al: I’m like, well, yes, yes, I will, you know, (34m 38s) Codey: Mm hmm. Mm hmm. (34m 39s) Al: because like how much time am I gonna save? (34m 42s) Al: Clicking that and they immediately get more money than they will ever get from me in ads, so it’s a win-win, you know? (34m 48s) Codey: Yep. Well, and I was just like, you know, I think this game is super cute. (34m 53s) Codey: I can throw down like the minimum that they have is three ninety nine. (34m 56s) Codey: But you can do more. (34m 59s) Codey: So I think I ended up doing like seven dollars because I had I had. (35m 2s) Codey: I looked at my bank I was like I could. (35m 4s) Codey: Do I can do $7 like I can just double double what they suggest and just continue to enjoy playing this game. The only other thing that you can buy is the currencies which I don’t know about you I get I get enough I don’t need to buy any. So that is really nice like a lot of mobile games will just try and throw things in your face to try and get you to spend money. But this one did not do that and I really I don’t. (35m 34s) Codey: I feel pressured to spend money. (35m 36s) Codey: Um, you do also, if you pay for the ad removal, you get a double reward bonus. (35m 41s) Codey: So all rewards are double are automatically doubled. (35m 44s) Codey: Um, which I didn’t, I was like, Oh, that’s a bonus because I wasn’t even, I just didn’t. (35m 49s) Al: You weren’t even noticing that, yeah. (35m 50s) Codey: I just didn’t want to add, like, that was the one thing. (35m 54s) Codey: Cause I’ve, my Tetris game has so many. (35m 56s) Codey: Um, yeah. (35m 59s) Codey: So artwork, what do you, what do you think of the artwork specifically? (36m 3s) Al: Oh yeah, definitely. I could easily grab some screenshots of this and stick it as my wallpaper. (36m 12s) Al: It’s really nice. It’s the sort of thing that I should see whether… It’s just really pleasing to have it just on something. I’m really tempted to see… (36m 31s) Al: and just have it sitting there, looking nice and bunnies waddling around. (36m 38s) Al: But, yeah, no, it looks really good. (36m 40s) Al: I was the same with the sound. (36m 41s) Al: Like, it sounds nice, but, yeah, I don’t have game sound, right? (36m 46s) Codey: Yep. (36m 46s) Al: Like, I listen to podcasts too much to be able to deal with that. (36m 47s) Codey: Yep. (36m 51s) Al: So that’s, yeah, that’s not my thing. (36m 55s) Al: But it is very nice. (36m 56s) Al: you like, if you like, what’s the word I’m looking for? (37m) Codey: If you want the audio on, it’s not bad audio, it’s not glaring, it’s not obnoxious, so. (37m 1s) Al: If you like, then it’s good. (37m 3s) Al: Yep. (37m 7s) Codey: The next thing that we can talk about is obviously the buns, the bubbies, the bunny bunnies. (37m 10s) Al: Bunny bunnies. (37m 16s) Codey: There are 30 unique bunnies and they each have their own personality. (37m 20s) Codey: I mean, some of them might have like overlapping personalities. (37m 23s) Codey: Like if I look in my thing right now, Tomo has a polite personality and Button has a shy personality. (37m 30s) Codey: And Yuki has warm, so like, I guess they all do have, oh no, there’s another shy. (37m 36s) Codey: Peaches is another shy bunny. (37m 38s) Codey: Um, so they all have their own personality, they all have their own favorite toys that they enjoy playing with that you can populate your island with. (37m 47s) Codey: And then if you befriend them to a certain level, they’ll also give you a keepsake. (37m 51s) Codey: Um, which is really cute, and then you can put that in the island and then they can interact with it or other bunnies can interact with it. (37m 58s) Codey: Um… (38m) Codey: And then if you befriend them high enough, then you can invite them to be a permanent resident on your island. (38m 4s) Codey: Um… Al, have you… How many of the buns have you encountered? (38m 9s) Codey: You’ve only seen two bunnies? Okay, okay, okay. (38m 10s) Al: Uh, not very many, uh, like two. (38m 14s) Al: Look, look, look, right. (38m 18s) Codey: Yep. Yep. Yep. (38m 18s) Al: See, this is where, see you end at the beginning. (38m 19s) Al: See you at the beginning. (38m 20s) Al: When I said you’ll almost certainly have played more of this game than me. (38m 22s) Codey: Yep. Yep. (38m 24s) Al: I was not joking. (38m 25s) Al: See, see, there we go. (38m 26s) Codey: I have encountered 24 of the bunnies. (38m 28s) Codey: bunnies. (38m 29s) Al: Very different, very, very different. (38m 31s) Al: Um, so, I mean, so like it’s not because this game is bad, right? (38m 37s) Al: Like I think if people remember the garden gallery– (38m 40s) Al: say episode that we did, me and Kevin. It’s very similar to that, in that it’s a really nice game for laying things out and designing a garden and putting all these things out, but I just don’t get it. It doesn’t do anything for me and therefore I find it really hard to push through and actually do something about that. (39m 4s) Codey: Yeah, yeah, that’s that’s fair. So I’ve definitely played more than you know, so the bunnies they also visit like visually look different like some of them don’t look that much different like there’s a decent amount of them that are black and white with black ears and a black snoot maybe some black Pete’s and then maybe some spots everywhere but there’s like maybe like five or six that have that but there are some that have like floppy ears. (39m 34s) Codey: There are some that have really short ears. There’s a really fluffy one that I have named. Oh my gosh, I accidentally closed it out. Mofu. He has glasses as well. Very cute. Moose has antlers. Yuzu and Yuki both have looks like leaves took me second to remember what the word leaf was. (39m 55s) Al: It’s all right, it’s not like you have anything to do with nature. (40m 1s) Codey: No, not at all. Not that I have to know that at all. (40m 4s) Codey: Not that I was just literally picking leaves out of something. (40m 7s) Codey: My favorite is… my couple of favorites are Tiger. (40m 14s) Codey: He’s like a red and he or they… I don’t think they have genders. (40m 19s) Codey: They are a black and orange. Very cute. (40m 25s) Codey: And then I like Celeste just because she has a celestial name. (40m 29s) Codey: She’s also a mostly black bun with bright blue eyes. (40m 34s) Codey: And then I can’t pick another one. I love them all. (40m 37s) Codey: Honestly, those are just the two that stand out. (40m 40s) Codey: I do like Yuzu. Yuzu’s orange. (40m 42s) Codey: Um… (40m 44s) Al: They do definitely have very good designs, like I’ve looked a lot of it up online, even though I haven’t had the patience to play through the game. So yeah, they are all really good designs, (40m 55s) Al: and I feel like they’re different enough, but also not like “this is clearly a dog”. You know, (41m 5s) Codey: Yep. (41m 5s) Al: like they’re all clearly bunnies, but different enough that you feel like there’s a worthwhile thing to try and collect. (41m 14s) Al: And I liked them all, if you will. I mean, you’re not, like, capturing them. They just visit you. (41m 18s) Codey: No, they just, they just come, it’s like animal crossing, they come to your island. (41m 22s) Codey: And then you can ask some of them to always be on your island versus just visit. (41m 27s) Codey: Like right now I probably have 15 bunnies on my island because I have like many things for them to be doing. (41m 36s) Codey: So they’re all spread out over my island right now. (41m 41s) Codey: So yeah, that’s the buns. (41m 45s) Codey: And then you build up their friendship by doing the tasks. (41m 48s) Codey: So either by filling your island with toys and decorations, which we’ll talk about later, (41m 54s) Codey: or they might ask you to do something with them. (41m 58s) Codey: So the five main ones are either to pet them, to brush them, to take a photo of them, (42m 5s) Codey: to play hide and seek with them, or to feed them. (42m 8s) Codey: And each of these things, like right now I can see two of my bunnies have little photo, little cameras above their heads. (42m 18s) Codey: And one of them is watering the garden right now, so I’m going to take her picture real quick. (42m 26s) Al: Oh dear. (42m 28s) Codey: I have such a problem. (42m 29s) Al: They’re just watering, let them water in peace. (42m 32s) Codey: Oh, and the other one’s like napping by the gordon. (42m 36s) Codey: Oh, I’m so cute. (42m 38s) Codey: And so every time you fulfill one of those tasks, you get hearts from you. (42m 48s) Codey: And you get some currency, and it just kind of – that’s literally it, is that you get to know them more. (42m 58s) Codey: The little mini games that you have with it is really cute. (43m 1s) Codey: So like brushing, for example, it zooms in on the animal, on the bunny. (43m 5s) Codey: You grab the brush, and then you just go back and forth over the bunny. (43m 10s) Codey: You scrub a dub dub. (43m 12s) Codey: And then the other one is the same feeding, they come out into this little extra – (43m 18s) Codey: another screen, and you just see that one bunny, and you pour food into a bowl, and it eats. (43m 26s) Codey: Taking pictures, literally just taking a picture of them. (43m 29s) Codey: I did run out of camera space, like you only have – you can only save like so many photos. (43m 36s) Codey: And I am devastated because – oh, you can move it to their album. (43m 42s) Codey: Oh my god, oh my gosh, is that now in Tiger’s album? (43m 48s) Codey: Okay. (43m 51s) Codey: So if you take a photo – you have a photo album, but then you can go – so I can like say, (43m 56s) Codey: like, oh, I want to move this photo of Lulu next to a sandwich to Lulu’s album. (44m 2s) Codey: And then it gets – and then I have more space. (44m 5s) Codey: But the picture – I have to go to like Lulu’s bunny page in the bun book. (44m 12s) Codey: It’s like Facebook bun book. (44m 14s) Codey: Go into the bun book. (44m 16s) Codey: Oh my gosh, I’m gonna– (44m 17s) Al: One book could be so many times. (44m 19s) Codey: It could. (44m 21s) Codey: Well, I’m gonna do this forever now because I was like why do I always run out of space like so many buns? (44m 31s) Codey: So yeah, those are the different tasks. Which– do you have a favorite or anything? Do you like the tasks? Do you find them? (44m 38s) Al: task. I mean, the hide and seek is kind of cute, because they just suddenly go and hide somewhere and you have to find them. I’m not sure I find any of them particularly fun, (44m 56s) Al: but they’re fine. I mean, in terms of like, you know, it’s just a bit more cute sort of thing, you know. So maybe that one, yeah. I just got two more bunnies. (45m 7s) Codey: Which two, which two? (45m 8s) Al: I’ll tell you once I’ve finished watching this ad to double the reward that I was getting for something. Yep, yep, I do. I just haven’t done it yet, because I haven’t, because, well, (45m 15s) Codey: Oh, yeah, see you just got a– (45m 22s) Al: this is on my iPad, right, which is different from my phone one. Let’s see what we got. (45m 24s) Codey: You’re right, you’re right, you’re right. (45m 29s) Al: What are these two? Bun, bun, bun. Button. And that one. Lulu. (45m 32s) Codey: Mm-hmm, very cute. (45m 39s) Al: They both went onto the same thing, so it’s like a little stump thing that one can go inside and one on top of, and they both came at the same time onto that one. It was to start with, and then after, how do you do it? (45m 47s) Codey: And the one inside is, uh, it’s a little butt sticking out, right. (45m 51s) Codey: Or is, but that’s the one cool thing is like, they, I guess we can talk about the decorations and toys that they play with like, like the stump that it’s not just one way that they can use the stump. (46m 7s) Codey: Like they can be in face first. (46m 9s) Codey: They can be in, but first they can be on top of the stump. (46m 14s) Codey: They can have a bunch of different… (46m 16s) Codey: Um… (46m 17s) Codey: …like positions that they’re on. (46m 19s) Codey: So even if you only have like the one decoration, it’s pretty heckin’ cute. (46m 24s) Al: Yeah. And the decorations are pretty cheap, right? Like, you can buy like three or four or five to start with, like, as soon as you start the game easily. So there’s lots of different options. And all the animations are very cute, right? Because you’ve got like the one when it’s like lying on top of the beach ball, just kind of rocking backwards (46m 49s) Codey: got, because I befriended one of them, I got a ramen noodle container and there’s a bunny sitting in the ramen noodle container and I am dying on the inside. Look at how cute you are. So yeah, there’s a bunch of different decorations. A bunch. You only get access to nine. (46m 57s) Al: Obviously. Don’t eat it. Don’t eat it. (47m 14s) Al: a bunch. Yeah. (47m 19s) Codey: Nine at a time. Yeah. Nine at a time. Um, I don’t know. Oh, it resets. Uh, (47m 24s) Codey: it says it’s going to reset at 18, 18, 1800. How do you say that? (47m 28s) Al: I think I… (47m 29s) Al: Well, I mean, you can see it’s 6 p.m. if you want. (47m 30s) Codey: Okay. (47m 36s) Codey: That’s fine. It’ll reset at 6pm. So, uh, but I already like looking at this, (47m 40s) Codey: I already have all of these things, uh, all the toys. (47m 44s) Codey: And I don’t think there’s a benefit to having more than one of the same type on (47m 49s) Al: Well, it’s just it’s more spaces for bunnies to come, right? (47m 52s) Al: Like if you’ve run out of spaces for bunnies or whatever. (47m 55s) Al: All right. (47m 55s) Codey: - Yeah, I haven’t. (47m 56s) Codey: So there’s toys. (48m 3s) Codey: And those are things that your bunny will interact with. (48m 8s) Codey: Also though, in the quote unquote toy category is like lights, things that you can use to light up your island. (48m 15s) Codey: Even though I don’t really light up that much of your island. (48m 18s) Codey: So they’re like just lights up the immediate area around the thing. (48m 19s) Al: Yeah, I mean, let’s be honest, that’s this whole game, it’s just anesthetic. (48m 22s) Codey: It just kind of like is aesthetic, I think. (48m 25s) Codey: And my brain is chaos. (48m 27s) Codey: You’re right, you’re right. (48m 29s) Codey: No, no, you’re right. (48m 30s) Codey: And then there’s decorations. (48m 33s) Codey: So these are things that you could use like trees and stones and I have mushrooms and a monstera that I can buy right now. (48m 42s) Codey: And then there are, gosh, I don’t know how to, (48m 47s) Codey: what to call these, what did I call them? (48m 49s) Codey: Buildings. (48m 50s) Al: Yeah, they’re structures, so it’s like houses or ponds. (48m 53s) Codey: So like. (48m 55s) Codey: Yeah, so I have the pond, the garden, the bridge, (48m 59s) Codey: the ramen shop, the cafe, the house, the, it’s another house. (49m 6s) Codey: The hot spring, have you seen the hot spring little bath? (49m 12s) Codey: It’s a little bath that they can

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Welcome to the Wise Not Withered Podcast! This is Season 4, and we are at Episode 5. So this month's guest was Coco Mitchell, who is a model! She has been in the industry for many, many years, and I found her on Instagram! I honestly can't remember what I was even searching for, but I found it really inspiring that there was an older women—there are still many older women who are continuing to model, and are really in it still. I'm gonna let her tell her own story. I honestly did not do a lot of research before contacting her, which she actually called me out on, which I was appreciative of. She is super, super accomplished. She has been all over the world, working with some of the really big names in fashion, which I don't really know much about, but I definitely learned a lot from her. She just really has such an incredible story. Coco Mitchell is just so warm, and friendly. She's so brave and humble, and she's truly just such a truth-teller. My admiration for her grew with everything she shared. So I hope you feel just as inspired as I was, talking to Coco Mitchell, as you listen to her tell her really amazing story. All right, is it Coco Mitchell? Am I saying your name right? Yes. All right, so let's just get right into it. Thank you so much for joining us on the Wise Not Withered Podcast. What is your age? Thank you for having me, and I would rather not share my age. Okay. I mean, during the course of this conversation, you will probably figure it out, but in the meantime, it's not something that I do readily. And the reason is… Yeah. Because I'm still IN the fashion business. And if I share my age, with that comes a price tag. Oh… You understand? Yeah, I've been modeling for 40+ years. Right. And because of that, I think in terms of dollars and cents. And when I first started in this business, the thing that drew me to it was that I could make money, and that I could travel. And before I started working, I was a teacher. I taught 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade in New York City. Oh wow! Yeah! I graduated from college, I'm walking down the New York City block. And this woman comes up to me, introduces herself. Her name is Eileen Ford. And she says to me, she asks me if I had a book. I said, “I have lots of books!” And she started laughing, and I'm thinking, “Why is she laughing?” Cause I think everything is funny. I don't take offense at anybody, or anything, because I don't know you, you don't know me. So she says to me, “I mean a book with pictures in it.” And I said to her, “Why would I have that? I'm a teacher. Actually, on my way to becoming a teacher. I'm graduating from college.” And she's like, “What?” And she asks me, “Well, how much are you going to make as a teacher?” And my first job was going to be in a Catholic school, here in Manhattan, in New York City, and I was going to $227 every two weeks. I was proud! And she said, “What? You could make that as a model, every 15 minutes.” And all I could think of was, “Okay, whatever. I just graduated from college, and this woman is telling me this. But this is not important to me.” And so you know, I took her phone number, I took her card, blah blah blah. And I started my teaching career. And I'm teaching in this school, and I have no money. None. And I'm living in Manhattan, in a little matchbox apartment. And I'm walking from 98th Street to 25th Street, every day, back and forth. No money, going to my mom's house to get food to put in the refrigerator. And since I'm working in a Catholic school, I don't really have to have a lot of clothing. So here I am, doing this. And then I'm like, “Lord, is this what I'm supposed to do the rest of my life?” And all I could remember is, I think God is saying, “Call Eileen.” I look for the card, I called her up, she sets up an appointment. I go and I sit and I talk with her. And she's talking… And you know Charlie Brown, when somebody is talking, and it's like, “Wah-wah-wah-wah-wah”? And that's what it was! I'm sitting there, and this woman is talking about people taking pictures of you, and you're gonna get paid for it. And it sounded ludicrous! And when she said, “You can travel, see the world, and make money.” I said, “Okay, sign me up!” I always wanted to travel. I grew up in a family with five brothers, a sister, a grandmother, and a mother. And we lived in a house. We didn't have a car. We were not on food stamps, but we did not have a car. We didn't drink sodas. There was no luxury items. Growing up, I would go home, straight from school. So I think that's the reason that I didn't know what a model was, because I didn't sit with friends, looking through magazines. Right. I didn't know that the people in those magazines, that was a job. I thought they were just good-looking people. (Laughs) Wow. Yeah! So when she told me that, I said, “Okay, sign me up.” I started working as a model. I shot Madmoiselle and Glamour magazine, and it all seemed very nice… It took forever to get my first job. And I'm saying to myself, okay, I'm in this business. Right, cause it's a business. And I'm already like twenty-four years old, so I'm not stupid. I graduated from college. But I wanted to live some place… Originally I'm from Tampa, Florida. And I wanted to live some place where there was sky, and there's a beach. So I said to her, I don't feel comfortable going on all these appointments, going in these big buildings, walking around like a mole in a maze… I need the sky, I need the sun, I need the beach. She's looking at me like I'm crazy. And I said, “Is there any place else I can go?” And she's like, “You can go to Florida, or you can go to California.” Well since my family is from Florida… My parents are Cuban. And Cuban people are very strict. You don't go here, you don't do this, you don't do that. And I said, no! I want to live my life! I'll go to Los Angeles! So here I am… I go to Los Angeles. I'm fairly new in this business. I don't know anything about it. All I knew is that I'm gonna live life on my own terms. I'm a grown-up, right. So I go to L.A. and I live there, and I love it. I lived there seven years. Should I keep talking? Mhm! Cause this is almost kinda like my story. Yeah, you're definitely already answering some of my questions, so please keep going! So here I am, in L.A. It's wonderful. I go on casting… I meet the most incredible photographers, and make-up and hair people. I don't have a car. I don't know you have to have a car in L.A. back in… It was the early 80's. I don't know anything! All I know is that I will not be able to work if I don't have a car. But how do you get a car if you don't have money? And because I was raised very… How do you say, very humbly. But no guilt, no shame. Nothing. Knowing that my mother and grandmother did their best to put food on the table. So how am I gonna make money? And I would meet people, you know. And I met this woman, and she was on her way to a beauty salon. So I asked the owner if I could work there. And he's like, “Well, do you do hair?” And I said, “No. Is there anything else I could do?” And he said, “Well, you could sweep the hair up off the floor.” And I'm thinking, “Okay! I need money.” And I think most people, because of pride, because of shame… Because of already having worked for Glamour magazine, and Essence magazine, and Madmoiselle, I should think more highly of myself, which I don't. I had to be humble. So I swept up hair for a whole year. I graduated to be shampoo girl. (Laughs) In L.A. And then I get a little raggedy car. And I start to go to visit my agent. And they start sending me on appointments, and castings, and all of this stuff. And I started working there. And that's where I really learned how to be a model. And because of all the wonderful people that I met, some of the photographers… My pictures would be in my books, and when they would go to Europe, people would see the pictures, and that's how I got a chance to go to Europe. That's another story. And I lived there for twelve years. The first year I was living in L.A. and they would send for me to do a job in Florence, with a really famous photographer. His name was Aldo Fallai. And I would work with him. And I said to myself, “The next time the send me to Florence, I'm staying!” Because it's my life, right? I don't know how this modeling business really works, where you're supposed to just do what they tell you. So I stayed there for a year, I learned to speak Italian, and I was studying art. And my agent calls me, she's like, “What are you doing??” I said, “I'm learning Italian, I'm studying art—” She's like, “You're a model!! What? No! If you're gonna stay in Italy, you have to go to Milan!” And I'm thinking, “Milan? What is Milan?” So I leave… (Laughs) This is like, hysterical! I go to Milan, and I'm thinking, “Okay, I have no idea… But at least I speak Italian! I have no idea what these people want from me.” Because it's not as if it was like, my biggest dream to be a model, you know? It was a means to an end as far as I was concerned. So now I'm in Milan, and I go, and they send me to see Giorgio Armani, and he says, “Walk.” And I'm like, “What is he saying…?” He doesn't speak English, he's saying, walk. What is that? So I get up, and just walk across the floor, like whatever, you know. He sits down. He calls my agent, and he says to my agent, “Is she retarded?” Oh! And my agent says to me, “Coco, what is wrong?” “I don't know what he wants.” “He wants you to walk.” “I don't know how, what walk??” “All black girls know how to walk!” And I was thinking, “I am in trouble!” He says, “Okay, act like you have on your mother's high heels. You have a purse, and you have a scarf.” And I'm thinking, “He doesn't know how old I am. He probably thinks I'm eighteen.” So I stand up, I go up on my toes, I throw the scarf—the fake scarf—and I have the purse. And I walk like I'm a little girl, looking in the mirror. Well, Armani is laughing. My agent just told me that it's three shows. $15,000 a show. I don't care if Armani is laughing. I want the money. Yeah. Like Eileen said, I could help my family. So I got the shows. That first season in Milan, I did fifteen shows. Wow! Not knowing how to walk at all. The only thing that saved me was the fact that they didn't tape the shows. There was no monitor backstage, where you could see that I was a total wreck. And it was really crazy! And at the end of the show, this photographer comes up to me—this Italian photographer. And he says, “Who are you?” And I'm looking, and kinda laughing to myself, and I say, “I'm Coco Mitchell!” He says, “You're horrible!” All I could think of, is that he's right! I am! He's like, “Are you going to Paris?” I say, “Yes!” He says, “Don't go.” So I'm like, “But I want to go.” He's like, “Okay. Here's my card.” Here's another card someone hands me out of nowhere. That's why I believe in God, cause it's all providence. “Call me when you get there.” In the 80's, the shows were all elevated. The runway was higher than the people in the audience. And the photographers at the end of the runway were in what they call the “pit”. Well, that season, I was in the pit with this photographer—all stinky, sweaty photographers—and he's showing me… I have a bird's eye view of how it really looks. I could see the girls coming from back stage, walking, and I'm thinking, “That's how they walk!? Wow!” So he's just like, “Take it in. Look. Study this. You should be doing these shows, but you can't walk like this forever. Somebody's gonna find out.” So what I did was I kinda taught myself. The next season, I went back to Milan, I worked in Milan. I worked in Milan, and then I worked in Paris, and then I decided, “I'm going to live here.” And that's what I did. I worked for Yves Saint Laurent, Christian Dior, Givenchy, Versace, Armani… Anybody that you could think of, I've worked for. Wow. Only because, I had no shame. I did not take offense. I don't know you, you don't know me. And in this business, you have to have so much courage, because the way that people will treat you… Is horrible. You have to decide what you… I mean, I decide what I want to do, and how I want to be treated. And if someone is not nice, I will not work for them. I don't care. You know? Yeah. And it all has to do with—for me—just taking my own stance. To this day, forty plus years later, I'm still working. It's no longer a career, it's now a job. And now that I have this job, what do I do with this job? Why am I still doing this, Lord? And the reason is, I have to be in the room. I have to be in the room. I have to… Not even to just share my story, being the first black woman in Sports Illustrated—1986. Wow! Being one of the first black women to do a campaign for Revlon, which was called Polished Ambers, the first black line of cosmetics. Not to share so much those things that I've done, but to share the fact that, if you want to do something—I believe this—then you have to stick with it, you have to be persistent, and you have to always be training and teaching yourself, if you want to stay in the game. And I want to be in the game, like, “Put me in, coach! I'm ready.” But you can't be ready if you don't train. And so I still watch all the shows online. I still look at all the magazines. I still look at everything. Because when the door opens, I want to be able to walk through the door, and ask for the amount of money that I want. Yeah. And that kind of is my story. That's really who I am, and that's the way that I was raised, to not really give other people the power. Cause you don't have power over me, you know? Growing up, we were not religious. But there's no way that my mother and grandmother could do what they did without giving God the credit. And that's the way that I grew up, always knowing that He is in charge, no matter how it looks, good or bad. And it all depends on how I react, you know. That's always been who I am. So… Do you have any questions? (Laughs) Yeah, that was amazing! Thank you so much. I feel like I learned so much just from all of that. Thank you, thank you, yeah… That's been my life. It's been an amazing journey, you know. Even talking to you. If I didn't do this job, how would you even want to call me and find out who I am? And then talking with you, maybe it'll encourage some other person. Yeah! Not a worn and withered person, but you know, just everybody! What we learn in our life is not just for our demographic—it's for everybody! It's to uplift and encourage, and also… Like I said, I could be very direct, but just learning how to approach people and get your point across without chopping off someone's head. (Laughs) You know, that kind of thing. That's what I had to learn, just how to… It's like, navigating through life. How do you get what you want, without being offensive, or being offended. Mm… Oh wow, yeah! And that's always my goal. Every morning when I leave. When I walk out my door, first thing I say is, “Why am I leaving my house? What is the reason? Am I going to be triggered by some crazy person on the streets of New York City?” It's hard out here! (Laughs) Yeah. Yeah, so… You know. It's armor. It's my armor, that's what I put on. I put on the armor of “Let's get it done. What is the reason? What's the purpose? Why show up?” Mm, mhm. Why am I sitting here? Why? What?? You know… And the other thing that I want to share with you… You know, all of this inclusivity, and diversity. I hate these words! Yeah? It's like… Why? Stop talking about it, and be about it! Just do it! These things should have been happening forever. Right. But now, because people got killed… George Floyd. All of these people, things are online now. And you see people being murdered. And now, it's time to do something about it. Which should have been happening before, you know? It's really hard to hear, you know, these “inclusivity” and “diversity”… But inclusivity and diversity without the proper amount paid to you. That's what I don't like. I don't like the fact that companies have to have black people, Asian people, brown people. And now you don't pay top dollar, you just get someone off the street, and you pay them pennies, and then you think you're gonna pay me pennies! No! And that's my stance on the whole thing. I think that, okay, if you don't have the experience, then you take a dollar. But if you want someone with experience, with this whole inclusivity, diversity, body positivity, all of that, you have to pay! And this is one of my… You know, carrying that flag! Yes! Worn and withered, but not dead! (Laughs) You know, I did a job for Estée Lauder, right after the lockdown. And I'm on set, and I have no makeup on. I have really good skin, thank God. And the girl standing next to me has on a beautiful blouse. I have on a camisole. And the girl standing next to me is maybe twenty-five, Asian, and she has a beautiful blouse on. She has on glamorous makeup. Her hair looks fabulous. And then the woman standing next to her, maybe forty years old, and she has on a beautiful blouse, fabulous makeup, gorgeous hair, and I look like I'm going to do the laundry! What is that saying to women of a certain age?? So I walk off the set, I'm standing behind them, praying like, “Lord, I have to say something.” Because I don't feel comfortable. Now I could've just did what they want me to do, take the money, and go home… And I want to know why! I want to know why. Because I go to events. I go to the ballet, I go to the opera. I go out to dinner. I wear makeup. I buy clothing! And you have me looking… What does this mean? What does this say? So I'm like, “Lord, how do I say this?” And they're like “Coco! Oh she's over there.” So I go back on set. And this is when all of the big TV screens, with all the faces, were right there on set. Cause you know, it's the lockdown, covid, blah blah blah. So I'm like okay. I walk off the set again, I walk over to the big screens, and I say… I'm very dramatic. And when I'm passionate about something, it's like, “I have to something to say!” And I said, “I have to say this. I don't understand what you're trying to say.” And I said, “My people are not going to be happy. And I'm not talking about black people. I'm talking about women of a certain age. What are you saying to us? Are you telling me that I don't buy Estée Lauder makeup? That I don't wear beautiful clothing? That I don't go out? I just… Stay home, and… Do what?” And then I just walked away from the screen and got back on the set. They started screaming, “Take Coco off the set! Put makeup on her! Give her something else to put on!” So I'm like, “Okay, thank you, Lord.” Cause they could've said, “Whatever, girl. Whatever, lady! This is what we're doing.” Yeah, wow! So they put these clothes on me, they glammed me up, right. I still get paid for the usage of this image that's being used. Friends send me from London, Paris, Tokyo, Hong Kong, on the Estée Lauder counters—that image of me and those two other women. Now if I didn't speak up… I mean… I have to speak up. I could've lost the job forever. But that's the chance you take! I mean, you have to be… Everyone will not be able to do it. And I think I was chosen to do this job. Cause I didn't ask for it! I was chosen on the streets of New York. I was chosen to do this job, and to stay in it, to speak up, for people who are afraid to speak up. Otherwise it'll be a Me Too situation all over, we're just going along, to keep our jobs… You know? I have to pay the rent, too. Thank God I learned how to save money. But everyone is not going to speak up. So if I feel I can, I'll speak for you. Yeah, that's beautiful. And I think that happens because the way that I was raised, and watching my mother, and raising money… She belonged to all these different organizations, getting senators and congressmen elected into the government—black senators and black congressmen, when we weren't there! So I feel like, I have to pay homage to my mother for standing up. Yeah. Yeah, so that's really who I am. It's all beautiful, it's all very glamorous, and sometimes it's not. It's hard work! But all of that aside, I'm just a normal person who got chosen to do a beautiful thing, and who's allowed to still say how she feels, and take the consequences, you know? Yeah. I was doing a job for L.L.Bean. And I work for them all the time, and all of a sudden… I walk in, and the clothes… It's like, I don't know how many pieces… It had to be a hundred and fifty pieces of things that I'm supposed to wear. And I'm thinking, “I've worked for them before. I've never worn more than twenty.” Wow… And I'm thinking, something is wrong here. No one says anything… And I have a lot of energy, for my age—which I'm not telling you! (Laughs) So here I am, I'm trying my best. But I'm thinking, this is not right! So I come from behind the little makeshift fitting room, dressing room. And I said, “Okay, slavery is over. I have called my Uber. And I'm out of here.” Everyone's looking at me like I was crazy. I get to the hotel, my agent calls me, “You said—you were talking about slavery!?” I said, “Okay, wait a minute! I'm a black woman, and I can talk about slavery.” They had almost a hundred… You know, L.L.Bean. Shoes, socks, pants, jacket, sweater, blouse, hat… What?? And she's like, “Well, Coco, you just walked off! Why didn't you call me?” I said, “Because I was mad at you. Because you sent me there. They didn't tell you?” She's like, “Oh, I didn't know! But they'll never use you again!” I said, “I will never work for them again! You don't get it!” And she's like, “But Coco, sometimes the girls do it because they have to pay their phone bill.” I said, “Jenny, when I was in my twenties, one hand was the phone bill, the other hand was, do I buy Louboutin, or Manolo Blahnik shoes or pay the phone bill? I would buy the shoes.” I said, “I am no longer that age. I don't have to worry about paying my phone bill. So you give those jobs to those girls. And don't ever send me to any place like that again.” But, because I've worked for this company before, I was blind-sided. I DMed the art director, the man in charge. I said, “Greg, what was that?????” And I put ten question marks, exclamation. I put #YouPlayedMe #ImNotHappy. He DMs me back, he's like, “Coco, is this message for me?” And I'm like, yes. Now I can tell him what happened. Because nobody ever asked me what happened! My agent's not speaking up for me. They only care to keep the client. So if they can fill my spot with another girl, they don't care! That's the whole thing about this business. It's not personal. They don't care about you! Right. So if you think they do, you're in trouble! So I told him everything. He apologized. He said, “I am so sorry. If we did anything, you should have been booked for two days.” He said, “But that was called e-commerce.” I said, “Don't even mention that word to me.” He's like, “We will never book you for that again. We would love to continue to work with you. I am so sorry!” Do you know I just came back from Colorado, shooting with them? Okay. Now if I didn't speak up, everything would have been… The woman is crazy. She's ungrateful. Whatever! I don't know what they might be thinking. But I had to set the record straight. I'm saying all of these things, these are examples of taking a chance and speaking up! Yeah. And all the young models that I know, now when they go to L.L.Bean, they know that that might be waiting for them, so they have to let their agents know. They can use my name, I don't care! “Coco Mitchell said…” (Laughs) So… I kept my client, I kept my dignity, and I'm working for them this coming week in New York. But if I didn't say anything, it would've just like, “Oh well, another client…” Yeah, dang… Yeah, that's… I don't know. I think that's why I'm in the room. Even if they had stopped working with me, at least I said my piece. And at least they could think about us models as human beings, not just something to use. And you know, after covid, everything is sort of digital. The advertisers don't want to pay, the retailers don't want to pay. Everyone wants to make a dollar, and they want to spend a dime doing it. And it's not fair! Yeah. So that's me griping. (Laughs) No, I love it! That's so inspiring. Thank you. I want to be inspiring. I don't want to come across as bitter, because I'm not. I'm not bitter about anything. My whole life has been just so amazing. And to continue doing this job that I love, I'm like, “Why am I still doing it?” I do it because what other job can you have where you don't see the same people every day? You always meet someone new. You always have a chance to learn from someone and leave something with them, you know? It's amazing! It's amazing. It's a wonderful job. Sometimes it's not so wonderful, but at the same time, that's what you signed up for! Wow… Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing all of that. You're welcome! I guess a little bit lighter, outside of your job, what are some hobbies or other interests that you have? Hobbies… Well, you know, I love the ocean. Yeah! I love the beach! I love the fact that I live near two rivers: the East River, and the Hudson River. And on the Hudson River you can do what they call paddle boarding. You can kayak. You can join different clubs. I've kayaked from New York to New Jersey, across the Hudson River, which is a very strong current. (Laughs) Dang!! That was crazy! But you know, you have to train. And I used to run marathons, but not anymore. I wish I had started that earlier. Because I would have run marathons around the world. You know, go to Spain and do a marathon. But the New York marathon is pretty major. It's long… 26.2 miles—I think that's a marathon! Yeah, I think so. And I did three of them! Oh wow! Oh my gosh. Yeah, each one was to raise money for different organizations. So that's why I ran. And it wasn't running to win. It was running to be a part of… A marathon is like an amazing, living, breathing organism, where you feel… You know, you're training to do this thing. I'm not an athlete like that. But you feel… The support that you get from all of the people that you meet. And you run around Central Park, and you meet different people, and there's all these different clubs of… You know, encouragers! It's amazing! So my main hobbies are walking all around New York City. That's what I've been doing since 8 o'clock this morning. I just walk the neighborhood. I just wanted to see how it looked without all the people. And, you know, that's really what I do. And being around my family. That's kind of a hobby in itself. And your family—does that include like, your siblings, or do you have children, or cousins? I don't have children. And I think you know, because I've just traveled for the last I think thirty-five years of my life… Yeah, wow! This is the first time, with covid, I've nested! I literally live in my apartment. I literally have furniture. I bought a Swedish bed that cost so much money… And yeah! I live here. I live here… But you don't know how hard it is… I keep saying, “Am I supposed to be here? I would really rather be in Paris…” You know, I feel the itch! I have siblings—my sister. All my siblings live in Florida. I have nieces and nephew, who are all very creative people. One of my nieces, she's a stunt woman! Whoa! Yeah! She was in Black Panther! Oh, cool! She was one of the women with the bald head, the warriors. And she also did the stunts for Viola Davis, woman king. Amazing. She's doing a movie right now—I forget what it is. They're shooting it in New Jersey, or some place. And she's done lots of TV stuff… And I have a nephew, he's a singer. And one of my nieces, she's a tattoo artist. She lives in Colombia. She travels all over the world, doing tattooing. And she's been in all these tattoo TV shows, and all of that kind of crazy stuff. And they all say, “It's because of you!! You encourage that we do these things!” And I'm like, “Thank you! Wow!” I didn't realize I was such an inspiration. Yeah! I could see that. Yeah. You know, when you leave your own country, and you go and you forge a place for yourself in a land that you've never been to. You don't speak the language… And people don't really ask you, “How did you get around?” Because you really… The agency just gives you a list, and you have to go! Well, how do you go? And people don't really ask, “How did you do that? How did you do it?” You just have to do it. You get together with other girls who are just as scared as you are, and a lot younger… Half of them were half my age. And you know, you just sit down, and you map it out. And you all go together. It's been fun! My mother traveled with me, and stayed with me many months. It's been great. So no, never married, never had kids… I've been engaged! A couple of times… But I am such a… I don't know what it is. People talk about signs and stuff. I'm Aquarius, so I don't really see things the way a lot of people see things. I think, really, outside of the box. I don't let a lot of things worry me. And I'm always just kind of positive, and upbeat. So… I think, even all of the boyfriends I've had, and even the fiancées. The problem has always been, “What are you talking about?” And not being understood… So I'm like, I don't know if I could live like that. I can't acquiesce—my character is too strong. Yeah. So… That's it. That's really who I am. Yeah… Wow. I guess just a couple more questions. How do you define success? How do I define success? Success… I think, for me, success is not about how much money… I think I kinda said this earlier. It's not about how much money you made, but it's the impact you made on the people that you were around when you were making that money. That's success to me. I mean, anybody in this fashion business that you might know by name, I know personally. And each one knows that when I'm in the room, you cannot be rude, you can't be judgmental, you can't put people down. You can't talk to a makeup artist or hairdresser any which way you want. No! And that's success to me. That impact that I make on your life. That's what success is. And, at the same time, you know, it's getting all those jobs. Cause when I go out for a job, I want the job. I want it. And that's success—getting it. Knowing that you deserve it, too. I deserve this! I didn't just say, “I want it” and not work hard for it. So I think that's what success is. Yeah, amazing. Putting your nose to the grindstone and doing the hard work—behind the scenes. And then reaping the success from that. Okay. Yeah! Thank you. And one last thing… What are you currently looking forward to? Wow… I ask myself that every day. Every day! What is next? What is next! I mean, we see that the way the world is moving, right? I mean, as far as… I have a very close friend, and he does the Amazon marketplace, and he does all of this stuff. And he's already taught me how to box… You know, helping him, boxing, and tagging, and labeling. And that's part of the entrepreneurial part of this world that we live in now. It's just a matter of… Do I want to do that? I think I still want to travel the world, see new things, and just keep it moving, until I can't walk anymore. Ah, I love that! That's what I want! I just want to live my life the way I want to live it. And I don't know where that's going to take me. I don't know what that is. But I know that just… Every day, you know. If you keep your eyes open… If I keep my eyes open, it's always happened that somewhere down the line, the trajectory always turns. It's like a river. It always leads me someplace else. And I'm looking for that turn that's about to happen. And that's the answer to that question. I have no idea! None. But at the same time, I'm free! I don't have kids, I don't have a husband. I don't have anything tying me to anything! Unlike a lot of people, I'm just grateful for the fact that I do what I want, when I want, how I want, as long as I want. And when I don't want to do it, I don't do it! Right, yeah. And that's… I have no idea. Answer question: I don't know! (Laughs) Yeah! Amazing. Wow, do you have any final thoughts? I think you pretty much answered all of my questions, just through telling your story. I just want to thank you for having me. Thank you for reaching out. And thank you for understanding that everyone ages. And this is one of the things I was on set doing… I do a lot of beauty shoots. You see a lot of young women sitting on their computers. Because when you're shooting, everything is almost finished before they even leave the situation that day. It's already in the can. It's already done. So I always want to say now, and I thank you for this, is that they have to know. Young women have to know that eventually they are going to get older. What are you doing now to prepare the world for you getting older? Hm… Because if we just sit on it… It's like that Estée Lauder job. You are going to tell me that now, this is what I do? This is who I am? I don't do anything. I'm just… Worn. Useless. Like I just did a job for Macy's. And they had me in these clothes… I mean, I've worn the best clothes in the world, by the best designers in the world. And they had me in this… I'm telling you, I'm not complaining, but I couldn't understand it. A top, a sweater, and some pants. None of it looked like it went together! And I said, “I'm really having a hard time. Who is this woman?” Cause how can I do the job if I don't know who I am? Yeah. They said, “Oh, well, she's retired. And she's gardening.” And I'm thinking, “Okay, that's gonna stretch me a lot, because I'm not retired. And I don't garden.” But that's who they're saying that we are. How old are you? Can you say? Yeah, I'm actually 31. So you're young! I love you! I'm talking to YOU! You have to set the stage. By the time you're my age… I am… (does math) years older than you. Okay? So… Do the math. By the time you're my age, the world should look differently for you! I mean, I sure hope so. No, you're doing the work! Keep doing the work. Just keep doing the work! Women… We can do anything! We can last longer than… We can live to be one-hundred-twenty years old! Still doing stuff! But if we allow them to retire us… Then that's it. You know, all those women that forged the way for you, and me? They will not be happy… The right to vote! You know how hard that was to get? I'm not talking about for black people, I'm talking about for women, back in the day! I mean, I don't! I cannot even fathom… But they did that, so that you can make sure that all of those rights are not taken away. You know, the right to be alive? You're gonna tell me that I'm retired? And I am shooting this thing to tell women that… This is all that's left? But I told them, “You owe me one! I want the beautiful clothes next time!” Yeah! I love that! You know, so that's the whole thing. Keep going, girl. I'm proud of you. Thank you. I'm proud of you. And I thank you for having me, and giving me the chance to tell my story, and just… Keep uplifting everybody. Not just women, but just… Everybody. Everyone. Okay? Yeah. So where can people find you? I know your social media is @cocomitchell3? Yes. Any other websites or links you want me to leave in the episode? Not really… No. That's enough. I put a lot of stuff on Instagram. Only because I realized at one point… I didn't know how important it was, until I would do a job, and I'd see a picture hanging up. And I'm like, “Where'd you get that picture?” They said, “From Instagram.” And I'm like, “Oh, wow! This is an important platform!” So Instagram is good enough. Cool. All right, well thank you so much! I'm looking forward to transcribing this! I'll talk with you soon! Just let me know how everything works. Just send me a text every now and then, “Coco, hi!” Yeah, sounds good. Yeah, so every now and then, just shoot me a text, “Hey Coco, when are you coming to New Orleans?” Yeah, that's where I am! Okay, I'll talk to you soon! Okay, thank you! Bye! Thank you! Bye!

I grew up snowboarding in Minnesota's version of mountains: Afton Alps, Trollhaugen, Lutsen, all that. And at some point along the way I'd learned that if you wanted to the real experience of snowboarding, the real thrill, you had to head west. It was in college that I got the opportunity to do it with a trip out to Vail, Colorado. The first morning I was there I woke up early, got my lift ticket, and headed over to the mountain. I'd already studied the map of the mountain and knew well which chair lift I'd need to get on in order to get to the very top-most peak. Exiting the chair lift at the top, having moved over to the very edge of the peak where nearly flat land meets a near 90 degree angle downward-land, I found myself absolutely swallowed up by my surroundings – sky, just gigantic blue sky, stretching all around behind me, the lines of trees and boulders down below that appeared almost toy-like in size from where I was standing. Mesmerized by what appeared to be miles of steep, cavernous, snow-covered space in between. There may have been other people around me, if there were I didn't notice them. There may have been sounds from people talking, snowmobiles driving, chair lifts running, if there were I didn't hear them. I was entirely engulfed by the situation. In awe of the awesome. In that moment the sense of wonder, fear, excitement, joy, and all of it in overwhelming amounts came flooding in. And though I felt totally inadequate for the situation, even more I felt fully invited into it all. And I had no words. I just stood there. I just stood there, mouth open, no words, just silence, and awe, and joy. “Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion.” To some it's a word that falls flat and feels stale. To some, praise is a word fit for mere preamble, a word soon to be drowned out by others more significant than it. Because of how often we see it in Scripture, even we can tend to skip over it like it's a mere formality. “Psalm 65:1, ‘Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion.' Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's move on and get to the point here.”Tread carefully brothers and sisters, praise has an object. Praise always has an object. And there is nothing ordinary about the word “praise” when it comes to its ultimate object, God himself. God turns praise into quite an intrusive word. With God as its object, praise cuts loose from all its civility and domestication. It's as if when God walks into the room, the word praise awakens from its slumber and reaches out to seize anyone and everyone around it, saying, “Look here, look at God, look at him, and be amazed! ‘Praise is due to you, O God, in Zion.'” It's a phrase fit for bowed heads and bended knees.And along with this word praise in the original is a word that connotes silence. Paired with praise it puts a sense of anticipation into the air – Praise is due to you, like praise is marked out for you, praise awaits you – praise is coming, we wait for it in silence. Even the silence itself, in a very real way, is the praise. The silence allows the awe and wonder of God to just hang there. It allows the reader to say, “slow down, slow down, slow down – I am a human being beholding my maker and I am in need of more time to take it all in.” Swallowed up by the reality of God, engulfed by all that he is, there's really no words fit for such a moment, at least not at first. Just silence, and awe, and joy. I got just a hint of that while atop a mountain in Colorado, we get it even fuller force here in psalm 65, and indeed it is the tone of this entire Psalm from beginning to end – “praise to God.” It's in that tone that the Psalmist moves through the rest of the Psalm testifying to God's working on behalf of his people, and it seems he does so according to three main categories: God supplies his people with life, he saves them from death, and he satisfies them with himself. That'll be our 3-part structure for the rest of this sermon, with the tone of “Praise to God” Lord willing, continuing to ring in our ears. God supplies his people with life, he saves them from death, and he satisfies them with himself.1) SuppliesGod supplies his people with life – it's our first major point within this Psalm and it's one that's relatively easy for us to spot, especially as we turn to the latter half of this psalm. In fact, verse 11 says it all, “You crown the year with your bounty.” From verses 9 to 13 that's really what we see – a year-long, God-supplied growing season from beginning to end. It begins with watering, verse 9, “You visit the earth and water it; you greatly enrich it.” And there's this interesting phrase, “The river of God is full of water.” When I first read that I thought, what river is he referencing? The Jordan, the Gihon spring? On the map is it here, or here, or here? But many suggest, the “river of God”, may be better understood as the “fountain of God.” Not here, but up there. It's His heavenly storehouse in which water is always at a surplus. So the idea would be “You visit the earth and water it; you greatly enrich it,” and the reason you can not only do that, but also (verse 10) soak the ground until its soft, pour forth rain upon the ridges until they give way, is because your river, your storehouse of water never runs dry. God owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and he also owns the water in a trillion clouds. Does he not possess enough to flood the whole world? So, part 1 of the growing season, God waters the earth.As the year progresses, and the months of planting and watering turn into the months of first growth, the Psalmist says of God (back to verse 9), “You provide their grain, for so you have prepared it.” But you say, what grain?Look to the wilderness (v 12), “The pastures of the wilderness overflow.” Look to the hills (v. 12) “the hills gird themselves with joy!” Look to the valleys (v. 13), “the valleys deck themselves with grain,” Look to the flocks gathered upon the meadows (v. 13), see the sea of sheep and goats as they gather to feed in so great a number that their sheer mass seems to cloth the land in white wool. And listen (v. 12, 13) as the harvest and flock shout together and sing for joy! Listen as praise to God and delight in his work bursts forth from every leaf and every lamb in the land.Lastly, past the days of water, past the days of first growth, now to harvest at the end of the year – here come the workmen to gather. (Verse 11), they gather so much that their wagon tracks overflow with abundance. Just picture a harvest piled up so high upon the wagons that it just keeps falling off the top all down the line leaving a kind of breadcrumb trail of harvest stretching all the way from field to barn. This is the abundant supply of God. This is his happy harvest in the world. And to a people living in a largely agrarian society, it meant life. God supplies his people, with life! So, imagine a timeline, we'll call it a timeline of God's working on behalf of his people. Spanning the entire timeline, a thick, consistent line stretching from beginning to end, is, point 1, God's consistent, year-to-year supplying of life for his people with life. Dotting that line then, at intermittent points throughout is, point 2, God's saving of his people from death. Don't think the more common causes of death per se – old age, more common illness, etc. – but large-scale, epoch-making, chapter in a history-book type causes of death. Think armies, plagues, natural disasters. Dotting the timeline at intermittent points is God saving his people from these kinds of threats of death. 2) God SavesWhere do we get that in this Psalm? Look at verses 5-8. The language is different here, is it not? The tame, picturesque view of grain fields and meadows is preceded, verse 5, “By awesome deeds you answer us with righteousness” Some translations have it “By terrible deeds.” There's a sense of holy fear bound up here. We could say it this way: if God is the gardener who supplies in verses 9-13, then he is the warrior who saves in verses 5-8. We see this strength, this awesome power, exercised in God's creation of the world. Verse 6, It was “By his strength (God) established the mountains being girded with might.” The mountains – can your mind comprehend the sheer mass of even one mountain? Here we're talking all the mountains – The Andes, Rockies, Himalayas, all of them – to these billions of tons after billions of tons of rock God says, “Rise up, stand up straight, and don't move until I tell you otherwise!” We see his awesome strength in his continued rule over creation (verse 7). God is the one who stills the roaring of the seas, (God is the one who stills) the roaring of the waves. Why did the flood of Noah dissipate? Like what caused the water to recede? Why do flash floods, or tsunami's, or hurricanes ever give way to calm? Because to all those gallons of raging waters God says, “Peace, be still.” In his creation of the world, the Psalmist says, we see God's strength. In his continued rule over the world we see God's power. And - perhaps especially - we see his awesome deeds worked out through his sovereign rule over the kings and nations of the world. Don't miss this - Still verse 7, “Who stills the roaring of the seas, the roaring of the waves, the tumult of the peoples.” The tumult, the raging, of the nations. All throughout history kings have arisen, produced weapons, amassed armies, drawn up battle plans, taken over empires. And God has, and continues to, still every one of them. And here's where things get really cool. When God saves his people from death, particularly when it's the threat of death from enemy forces (Assyria, Babylon, Rome, whoever), he not only succeeds in saving them, but along with them, he wins the nations. He not only succeeds in saving his people from death, but in the train of these victories, he wins the nations. Back up to verse 5, “By awesome deeds you answer us with righteousness, O God of our salvation, the hope of all the ends of the earth and the farthest of the seas.” Hold up. “By awesome deeds you answer us with righteousness, O God of our salvation, the hope of all the ends of the earth and the farthest of the seas.” How does this work? He answers us, he is the source of hope for them. How?This is how, verse 7 into 8, “Who stills the roaring of the seas, the roaring of their waves, the tumult of the people, so that those who dwell at the ends of the earth are in awe of your signs. You make the going out of the morning [That's the east, the sun first rises in the east] and the evening [That's the west, the sun sets in the evening] to shout for joy.” See what's happening here? The land shouts for joy (verse 12), the flocks shout for joy (verse 13), and yes, the nations, even the nations, the result of their beholding of the awesome deeds of God, is that they, too, shout for joy! God's working on behalf of his people catches the eyes of the nations around them. Causes them to look and say, “The one who did that could only have done that if he were the God over this whole world. He must be the king of all. He must be the great sovereign. And I find my heart saying, “Behold, behold the one you've longed for. Behold the one you've been made for. Behold your God and I respond, ‘I must have him. I must be found amongst his people.'” You believe that? You think that could ever happen? The Jews had been slaves in Egypt – the powerhouse of the world at that time. God answered his people by awesome deeds, sending Moses, sending plagues, splitting a sea in half and then smashing it down upon Pharaoh and his army. A deed so awesome, that the inhabitants of Canaan - many miles away from Egypt - heard of it.As one of its own residents would come to say, “I know that the LORD has given you the land, and that the fear of you has fallen upon us, and that all the inhabitants of the land melt away before you. For we have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea before you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who were beyond the Jordan, to Sihon and Og, whom you devoted to destruction. And as soon as we heard it, our hearts melted, and there was no spirit left in any man because of you, for the LORD your God, he is God in the heavens above and on the earth beneath.” God saves his people and wins the nations in his wake.Breathtaking, right? And yet, there is still something here, a supplying of life that surpasses the grains and flocks, a saving from death that overshadows the glories of stilled seas and quieted nations.The Psalmist says, verse 3, “When iniquities prevail against me.” When they prove too strong for me, when they rise up above me, when they like a dark, menacing, merciless ocean wave grow far above my head and threaten to pulverize me into the ground. And now I want to ask that we not move on from here just yet, because its my fear that many of us rarely feel the threat of death that attends our sin, and we should. For many of us, sin is just a normal part of life. It's not our enemy, it's not our foe, it's akin to that extra slice of cake in the fridge that we probably shouldn't eat, and definitely have no plans to make a regular part of our regular diet, but every couple days or so, a slice here, a slice there, after all its only human to indulge every once and a while. To many, sin is the thing that knocks at our door and we look and say, “Oh You don't look that menacing to me, come on in, but you can only stay for a short while.” In our mind, the verse would go, “When sin gets a bit too attached, yet I still prevail over it.” Brothers and sisters, do you know that your sin could end up prevailing over you? On your own, if left to your own devices, just you in one corner, your sin in the opposite corner, the bell rings and you come out fighting – your sin would destroy you. Your sin would knock you to the ground with no intention of letting you up again. Your sin, if you were left to fight it all on your own, your sin would prevail over you. Do you think I'm exaggerating? Just look outside and see how many millions of men and women are being absolutely ruled by their sin. Go to any church and ask for the list of souls who have destroyed their relationships, destroyed their marriages, destroyed their souls by allowing their sin to prevail over them. “When iniquities prevail against me” – he's not exaggerating. He's not playing games. He's telling the truth – iniquities prevail against people. Picture that sin in your life right now that you think you've got a handle on. Picture that sin in your life that you think you've established a boundary with and will go no further. Brothers and sisters there have been plenty of others before you who felt similar and today have their sin standing over them with its foot upon their neck. Make no mistake, your sin aims, it always aims, to prevail over you. Now, having pressed all the way down on this spring, all the way to the floor, now is the time to hit the switch and let the spring launch and send us heavenward for, as David says, “When sin prevails against me, when sin thinks it's defeated me, when sin thinks it's got me down for the count, God says, “No More!” When iniquities prevail against me, you atone for our transgressions!” God saves his people from death! God says to us, down on the ground, with sin upon our necks, “Rise up! Sin will not have the final say over you!” Rise up, for in my presence, death must flee! God atones for your sins, my brothers and sisters, God atones for your sins! He saves his people from death. And that's not all.God supplies his people, God saves his people, and God satisfies his people.3) God SatisfiesLook at that word atone, verse 3 – you atone for our transgressions. Atone is an old word that combines the concepts of “at” and “one.” Like, “Where are you at with God?” “Where do you stand with him?” Atone says, “Well, I'm “at” “one” with him.” Reconciled with him. He's my Father, I'm his child. Brothers and sisters, here's where things come together. To the one who'd say, “Great, I'm just going to go back to my normal with sin since God's just going to forgive me for it anyways.” To the one who'd say, “Thanks God, walk out of the courtroom with your stamp of not-guilty and go on with your life.” Brothers and sisters, don't make the mistake of thinking your salvation consists of you merely being saved. Like merely being saved from death, merely declared not guilty before God, merely not having to go to Hell when you die. Yes – to be saved from death, declared not guilty, and rescued from Hell – these are some of the greatest enjoyments of the Christian life, but not thee greatest. See God doesn't settle for merely saving his people. He atones for them. He makes them “at one” with him. See The greatest thing in all of life – the very point of it all – is to be brought near to God – At One with him. Not only being pulled up out of the grave of death but sat up to the feast of his very table. To enjoy God. To be “at one” with God. To be satisfied by God. That, and nothing short of it, is Christian salvation. Brothers, sisters, don't think yourself merely saved. Don't aim to be merely saved. I mean, don't you find your soul calling out for more than that? A gospel where freedom from death is the highest aim is a hollowed out gospel. Brothers and sisters, if nearness to God is absent from your picture of salvation, if at-one-ment with God is not at the very center. Oh don't you hear your hearts crying out for more? Don't you hear your hearts shouting, “that's not enough.” “I've been made to be filled with so much more than that!” I mean, if intimacy with God is not in the plans, if nearness to him is not in our future, if fellowship with Him, if satisfaction in Him is not at the end of all things – Oh how our souls would starve! What you need is not to be merely saved by God, but satisfied in God. What your spouse needs is not to be merely saved by God, but satisfied in him. What your children need is not to be merely saved by God, but satisfied in him. What your neighbors, and your co-workers, and all the people you pass by on the street need is not to be merely saved by God, but satisfied in him. Pastor Kenny and Malaina, we'll have more to say at the commission, but for now, do you know what Orlando needs? Orlando needs a church planting couple who are not merely saved by God, but satisfied in him.So I say thank you God, thank you Jesus, for Psalm 65:4, “Blessed is the one you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts! We shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, the holiness of your Temple.” That, my brothers and sisters, is what we set our sights upon. That, my brothers and sisters, is where we will finally find satisfaction. Now, and this is where I'll close, getting to preach this part of the Psalm, having just gone through both Leviticus and Hebrews as a church is just too cool. You put your Leviticus/Hebrews lens on this and it just gets so cool. The Table“Blessed is the one you choose and bring near, to dwell in your courts!” – David, who wrote this Psalm, was most assuredly referring not to the common Israelite, when he wrote those words, but to the Levitical priests at the Temple. As we saw in Leviticus, it was the priests who were chosen by God, due to their bloodline through Levi and Aaron, it was the priests who were brought near to dwell in the Temple courts. But note the change in grammar in the second part of verse 4: Blessed is the one you choose and bring near to dwell in your courts (the Priests), we shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house, the holiness of your temple!”What's he talking about? The priests go near, they're blessed, And we (out here) shall be satisfied with the goodness of your house. Of the five major sacrifices prescribed in Leviticus carried out at the temple, the peace offering was the one that came at the very end. It came at the end because it depicted what the offerings before had accomplished – peace between God and man. That peace having been brought about through sacrifice, the priests take a portion of the sacrifice back to the people, and together they all eat it in the presence. The priests go near, offer the sacrifices, and then we sit up to the table of fellowship with God – satisfied with the goodness of his house, the holiness of his temple.And that is what brings us to the table. Here is where we, an assembly of the Royal Priesthood, celebrate that God has atoned for our sins, not by the blood of bulls and goats but by the blood of his very own son. And he has not merely saved us from death, but has brought us near, raised us up with him, where we will be ever-satisfied by the goodness of his house, where we sit down to the marriage supper of the lamb and feast for ages to come. We eat from this table in anticipation of that greater table. So if you're here today and you've trusted in Jesus, then we invite you to take and eat. If you've not put your trust in Jesus, we ask that you'd let the elements pass, you not partake, but we pray you would, in this moment, draw near, for the very first time, to him by faith.

Nerd Rage Radio Episode 407: Oh… You're A Good Ninja! NERD WEEKS RIP To The Iron Sheik https://www.abcactionnews.com/sports/pro-wrestling-legend-the-iron-sheik-passes-away?fbclid=IwAR0Y2jnFsqah6eVyfZi6v9hOwQmA9n_6zze_XAGfcfs1867vqvwbYBMKDu0_aem_th_AeqC_ohFENocoa1-_sW-UPiN4q_1i9TRCFqdxE9xMH4GNz-1JaIH0b4o3Vo-odRUw9I&mibextid=Zxz2cZ McFarlane & Blizzard https://mcfarlane.com/news/mcfarlane-toys-blizzard-entertainment-licensing-agreement-announcement/?fbclid=IwAR1vaw-ICPIdByZfP_CVf4A097l2LDPrxAOL12_TpTA8TLPoTBEWaBVZy3I_aem_th_AepWb0r0RvNoAWCobU7sK6EV5jjCho3xztP3ZVCn8FVc2fqKmILdY8iUMIdtKvn-pZM&mibextid=Zxz2cZ That 25 To Life Show https://apnews.com/article/danny-masterson-guilty-verdict-rape-4c60cc1031e917fc52c05238a22cc1ad?fbclid=IwAR2q5_N5aQa4DHXCleH2aeZK3rMGrsr7x9s2PZ9CnmgHuEvzkzuVDHWQpgI_aem_th_AeoKdYnjU_BkReDchZt3DD9KFnwbMRmXbQ71tJzCDSGa6fUh4hqFVt9MIywSyeQsGTM&mibextid=Zxz2cZ Rise Of The Beasts Transformers: Rise of the Beasts | Official Final Trailer (2023 Movie) SHOUT OUTS Show is available on MANY PLATFORMS https://linktr.ee/Nerdrageradio?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=381057fc-8547-43e4-a4a6-a77597494dcc SUPPORT US ON PATREON & GET TONS OF BONUS CONTENT!!! https://www.patreon.com/Nerdrageradio FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA Facebook.com/nerdrageradiopodcast Instagram @nerdrageradioig Twitter @nerdragecast WRITE IN TO THE SHOW Email: nerdrageradiomail@gmail.com

Welcome to June 2023 or as we like to call it... Guy Ritchie month aka David's month and to start we review Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. We hope you enjoy this riveting good time as we yank each others chain and of course talk about the movie, the actors, and the director hisself!!!   Music by: Jessejacethomas.bandcamp.com Website: www.ifinallywatchedpodcast.com And say hi to us on Instagram and Twitter @finallywatched     TRANSCRIPT: This movie was having trouble getting distribution. And so she called an acquaintance of hers to help them get distribution. And that was Tom Cruise. I knew it. I knew it was gonna be Tom Cruise. I was like, who's it gonna be Tom Cruise? I should have said it. Fuck. So he apparently attended a screen. I'm gonna be Tom Cruise finally marched, finally marched, finally watched, I know it. Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of I finally watched, this is David and this is a and I finally watched Lock Stock and Two Smoke and Barrels. So this month we are going to do four Guy Ritchie movies. Um This being his, his debut, we're doing them chronologically. And I was remembering back when I watched this and so I watched this on DVD or Blu Ray like way after it came out, I think when I was in like law school, college or law school and I watched it after a night of like, I just didn't go to sleep the night before, not like partying or anything, just like never slept. Um And so my memory of it was definitely hazy, but I had seen it before. Um, and watching it this time, I feel very similarly to, like Quentin Tarantino in that. It's a really great first film. But by and large, I like almost everything after it more. Like after this we're gonna do Snatch. And I think that's like a perfect comparison with, like Lock Stock and Snatch to reservoir dogs. And then Pulp Fiction. Um, I think you'll like Snatch like a lot better too. Um, like where, where he has like an idea or like, uh, his, his, um, skill, skill set. Yeah, it just, it gets better. It's just like, it's like a much smaller, it's like a much smaller scale movie. Yeah, that's what I was saying. Why did you say that? You started saying it? He has an idea. No, I was saying an idea of his and I was trying to find the word, like, um, aesthetic and then kind of like, um, polished it up a bit for the second one. Well, he's given a lot more like money to do it and, yeah, he's just got kind of the notoriety this movie. I don't know if you realize this. So, this is Jason Statham's first movie. Um, Vinnie Jones who plays Big Chris is a professional soccer player before this, who was like, apparently did this movie while he was, like, banned from playing is what I read. So, like, I think I read somewhere that, like, 17 out of the 40 something speaking parts were from people who had never acted before. Right. That is it. That's interesting. Yeah, because now, like Jason Statham is, is, uh a well known actor but so is, uh, so is the ex soccer player, see Vinny Vinny? Um, and like in the next movie in Snatch, he gets Brad Pitt. Right. So it's like, kind of a very similar thing, although Quentin with reservoir dogs, I mean, I, I guess, I don't remember, like, if those were all bigger names, they were definitely, like, known actors then, but it's just, I don't know, it's very similar. I, uh, really enjoyed watching this this time. It's an interesting movie to talk about because, like, I think the plot is so linear in that, like, you can kind of, you can kind of see everything being telegraphed to set up the end. Yeah. Um, but it's also just like a very fun movie to watch with like the kind of the Banter and the, like, the British slang throughout. Um, a, what did you think? So? So, I went in it and I was, um, I'm, I'm looking after my niece this week so having, like, not a lot of time to myself watching movies. Uh, I, I know what it's like with you having, having kids. Your hair looks very disheveled today. I was like, oh, man, it's really parenthood's really hitting him this week. I just got out of the pool. Ok. He got me some slack. Um, no, but, but so I haven't had much time to myself. Um, and the first couple nights we had her, we put her down super late. So, um, I was kind of trying to fit it in before bed started it at 11 and it got maybe like 30 40 minutes in. And basically I was like, I gotta, I gotta watch this at another time and then when I rewatched it, um, I just restarted the movie instead of starting it from the 40 minute point, right? And so I just restarted the movie and I'm glad I did because there were so many things that I missed like half paying attention to it. But like you said, it's this huge build up at the end, but they start laying down the pieces in the very beginning. So, um so yeah, if you like really pay attention to the movie from the get go, you see that they're starting that they're setting up stuff that's gonna play out, you know, uh an hour later, which I think is, which I think is really cool. And yeah, I mean, I, we were talking about how many guy Ritchie films I watched before this and it's not, not many. Yeah, you said Aladdin and then you think you've seen all of man from Uncle, but you're not sure. No, I've definitely seen Man from Uncle. Um and Aladdin. I don't know you, when we talked, we talked about it on this pot. So anyone who listened to that part of it, you're like, I kind of remember unless we cut that out, but I remember there was a car chase and there was a wall and, well, it's because it was just so long ago I saw it in theaters when it first came out. I don't know. What was that? 2011? No, no. That one must have been like 2017 or something. It came out in 2015 so close. Um, yeah, so, so what, seven years, eight years ago? So, you know, whatever. Um, but yeah, I think those are the only two, even though I've heard of him and a lot of his films, I just haven't really sat down and watched them. Which, well, it's funny because I don't think a Aladdin is not like, it's not really what you go to when you're trying to watch a Guy Ritchie film, I think, man from UN and Man from Uncle is also fairly different. It's kind of a James Bond. So for this month we're doing lock stock, we're doing Snatch, we're doing Rock and Roller, which is one of my favorite and probably like that almost might have been my entry point into Guy Ritchie movies was Rock and Roller and then we're doing his latest one or it was his latest one up until like just a little while ago because he just had to come out Ruz Deer. Um, something fortunate. And then, um, the covenant that just came out. So, um, I'm excited to do all of those. I think. Let's just start from the top of this. And I, you were saying that the first time you watched this, you watched like 30 minutes. But I thought you told me that you're like, oh, yeah, I started last night but I didn't get very far. And I was like, well, where did you get to? And you're like, where they were throwing all the jewelry as they're rutted down the stairs. And I was like, that's three minutes into the movie. Like max. Um, I think, I think, ok, so, so here's the actual timeline of the thing, right? Um, the first night I attempted to watch it, it was like, literally two minutes into it. Then when I went to go watch it again, I got 30 minutes into it and then restarted it from that point. I watched it with Taylor actually when I restarted it and then we got halfway through that movie and then the next night we finished the movie. So, yeah, that was like four separate watches. That's like me. Now, you, now you get it though, right? Like, as a parent for this week you get, I don't, no, no, no, no, no, I don't. Because the, the initial one. Yes. Sure. But I would have just watched it all the way through. But Taylor is the one who wanted to like, finish it halfway because she was sleepy. I don't get you guys being sleepy and shit, but whatever, probably, I would imagine because she's the one primary, primarily taking care of your niece right now as you get to sleep in. Oh, I wish that was true. But who gets up three times in the middle of the night to take her pee. So I don't have to wash the sheets in the morning. This guy, so the movie opens with just this little scene of them selling kind of fake goods on the street. And you have Eddie being the guy who like, pretends to not know him is like, oh, that's a great deal on like, necklaces or whatever. I love like the kind of the lines from Jason Statham. But one of my favorites that I caught. So I started this movie and I watched like 30 minutes of it and then I realized it was like, oh, wait, we're not recording for like 10 days. So then I just stopped and then I started over like a couple days before the recording. Uh But one of the, when the second time when I start again, one of the lines that I really liked is he's talking, he says to this one lady don't stand there like one o'clock and half past which like, visually is just her kind of like bending over, like hawking at everything, like just looking at it, but like, not buying, he's like, get in here and you give me your money. And I, I love too like the voiceover and I think this will pay off in the next film. But the, the guy that does the voiceover in this movie is the guy that works at Eddie's dad's bar. Oh, ok. And he is also the main antagonist, bad guy in Snatch. From what I remember. What's his name in this movie? He's named Alan or narrator. I don't think we hear his name but he is Alan Ford and he's gonna be like the main, as I just said, the main bad guy in Snatch and he's really great in that. So is Snatch a sequel to this? No, it's just, it's just a Guy Ritchie type movie. So it's like a very similar set up like literally all four we're gonna do are gonna be very similar, but like the story is different but kind of the world um is all much very like this kind of UK underground. They probably all take place in London when you first brought up that we're gonna do this and you brought up this movie Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. I asked you if this was a sequel because I really thought there was a movie called Lock Lock Stock and a Smoking Barrel. And then, and then like Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels was the sequel. Um But there is no such thing. Uh such a movie as Lock Stock and smoking in a smoking barrel. Um, and, and I, you know, it's funny because have you ever heard of the, the, the movie, um, the whole Nine Yards? Yeah. You know, there's a sequel to that movie called The Whole 10 Yards. I do. Yes. Ok. I thought that was kind of what they were doing here, but not at all because, because there is no existing movie. So, I, I also like how um the guy kind of says the title of the movie, he's like Lock Stock, the whole fucking thing talking about Sting's Bar, which by the way, Sting is in this and actually is like pretty great in his little part. Oh, Sting is the dad. Yeah, see now that you say that, that I connect it but I did not, I did not catch that. That's funny. What's funny too is I was kind of thinking like, why is this called Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels? And then he says it, like you said, he says Lock Stock and the whole fucking thing in the, in the movie? I was like, well, where does the two smoking barrels come from? And I go, oh, the two antique guns are the two smoking barrels? I get it now, right? Uh There's this other thing too that I just noticed today, I guess this is a thing that guy Richie likes to do, but there was a lock, there's a show called Lock Stock, which is basically a TV series based off of this movie. Then there was a TV show that was done by Crackle called Snatch that starred Rupert Grant who was Ron Weasley and Harry Potter. And now he's doing the Gentleman TV series which is starring Theo James, which I'm actually super fucking excited for. Um But just like, he's willing to like sell off his, he's like, there's no like, oh, this is, this is sacred ground that can't be touched. He's like, no, yeah, you can make a TV. Show out of this. That's fine. Oh You're, you're thinking that, that like Guy Ritchie sits on a higher plane where he's like, not a sellout. He did Aladdin dude for Disney. Yeah, Ashley was just talking today about how much she didn't like that movie. I thought it was fine. But like, I think all those live actions like, but it's kind of a gimmick. It's kind of a gimmick from Guy Ritchie doing that like fast, slow motion, speed up thing, right? But it wasn't really introduced in his beginning work. So when, when did that become like, oh, that's a guy Ritchie move. Uh I mean, it'd probably be in Snatch. I haven't seen Snatch in years, but I would imagine that's where it's gonna be. Snatch is really great. I can't wait to do. We should get back to this movie, but Snatch is really great mostly because of like Brad Pitt's performance is so amazing in it. Um But so let's get back to it. Um The main setup of this movie is these four guys are getting money together so that their friend Eddie who is just amazing at cards can get in a card game with a guy named Hatchet Harry. Just like as a, as a F Y I like, don't play poker against a guy named Hatchet Harry, which is really funny because they talk about how he beat a guy to death with a black dildo later on in the movie. And then at, at the very end when they go into his office, it says like, Harry, whatever the porn king. Yeah. And I like, didn't catch that throughout the like, oh, this, that's what this guy does because they never really, like, he runs a sex shop. I guess he had that part of it. I, I Harry, there's so many small details though, but I like how it's like driven home at the very end, right? Like that is, you know what I mean? Like it's not integral to the plot, but I like seeing it at the end because they definitely honed in on it on the door. So you could see it. The, the end is my favorite part of the movie and I can't wait till we get there because I really want to break down. Exactly. And it, it, man, it's so good, I think from the, from the point, all of them are going to the four guys flat like the and uh big Chris and dog and his group are already there. I think from that point on, it's like the best part of the movie to me. Well, because the, the weed growers know what um the people who robbed them look like and it just so happens to be kind of like the, the same. Yeah, I know you wanna break it down guys. So it's so great anyways. Um So, so yeah, so as you were explaining, they're getting together 25 there's four of them, they're getting together 25 grand each. So that their friend Eddie who's amazing at poker can beat hatchet Harry and Poker and win a bunch of money. Um I think they're looking for like $20,000.25 apiece. 20 no, no, no, it's 25 apiece but it's 20,000 gain back, right? So they're gonna each get their 25 back plus another 20 grand on top of that. So they're looking for a 20 grand return each. Um and Eddie is pretty confident he can get it. But uh this all is set up to, to, oh, I, I was talking to you about like this, this thing that they established in the beginning and where does it pay off in the end? The man on fire running out of the bar how that like plays and that's right. I, I thought that was great. Yeah, when he explains, yeah, when they explain what he did to that one guy that is, yeah, that's actually really funny. And, yeah, that, this movie definitely, I didn't have time to do it but would definitely reward like a second watch. Um, I also, so right before we go to the poker game, a bunch of more establishing stuff, we go to kind of the shitty apartment that Bacon and Eddie live in, uh, Jason Statham and, uh, Nick Moran. And they, they're like, oh, we always, we have these neighbors that we can always hear and they're like, I guess just thieves, it looks like they have this reputable shop or whatever, but they just steal shit from people. Like I couldn't even figure out, I guess they're loan sharks. Maybe, I don't know what dog actually does for his legitimate part of his business. If there is such a thing. It's kind of funny. Right, because they live on like one side of the flat and dog and his crew live on the other side of the flat and there's like a, a cab service that's in the middle. No, it's not. I think, I think it might be on the other side because the dog actually, like, throws the plank guy through the wall and he's able to see all the cash that got stolen because at the, at the beginning Jason Statham opens, you're right though. Like, basically this was like a flat that was divided in two because Jason Statham opens this door and then there's just a brick wall that was built. And I was like, why does that make sense? But it's like, oh, because it was kind of cut in half. Yeah, exactly. Um, and then we get the weed growers which, like, have a cage at their front door that never, they don't ever use. Which is, it's funny, it's very telegraphed but then the way it's used when it actually gets to, it is very smart. Like for the first time when they're about to get robbed, they've locked it. Like that's just smart to me. Oh, what's the guy? What's the guy who's like friends? The connection between dog and the weed guys? Plank? Plank? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, like Plank realizes that they never lock the cage and that's when he tells his boss, I assume it's his boss, right? Uh They never lock the cage. So it's super easy. So, so it's kind of funny because when uh Bacon and his crew are listening in on that conversation, I was kind of confused because I was like, well, why doesn't Bacon and his crew just rob the weed dealers? I don't think they know where it is. And that's the reason because I was like, they're making, it seem like robbing the weed guys is super easy. And then waiting for them to rob the weed guys and then robbing them is like, the difficult part. But then you're right. They're the only ones who knows where the location of the weed is, right. Um, and then we meet, uh, Vinnie Jones, whose name is Chris. Uh, there's a couple of cool facts about this from Vinnie Jones. So, once I already said this was his first movie. Um, but what I read is on the first day of filming, he had just been released from police custody for beating up his neighbor allegedly, I don't know, allegedly could have been, he could have been convicted. I don't know. And then, uh, he said that he was cast because in the script, the, the big Chris was described as looking like the English footballer, Vinnie Jones. So, like guy Richie had like a Vinny Jones type in mind. And Vinny Jones is like, oh, I got some time. That's hilarious. It's like, oh, oh, I, I, I'm imagining my character looking like this famous person and then the person walks in and you're like, shit, you're hired. I don't even care what, what, what's amazing too is he is actually a real like, so I think maybe one of his more famous roles now would be like Euro Trip, right? And he's just like kind of an over the top character in that. Um But he's actually like, really great in this movie. Like, his acting is really great in this, it's kind of very subtle for most parts. Yeah, I mean, uh, I, it's, when you said he's an ex football player, it surprised me to hear that because I do think he's a pretty good actor. Yeah. I also, I also remember him. One of the first things I saw him in two, which we've already done was, um, gone in 60 seconds where he plays the guy that doesn't speak for most of the movie and then he's, like, super eloquent at the very end. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Um I'm trying to remember where I, like, seen him recently recently and it's two things that I remember him distinctly from, uh I watched a review of the Midnight Meat Train and he's the, he's the main character in uh Well, he's the, I don't know if you call it main character. He's the antagonist of the, the Midnight Meat Train. Um But where I've seen him first is an x-men last Stand. He's the juggernaut baby. Oh, that's right. That's right. I probably saw him in that first too. Um So after this, we get to the poker game, we've like introduced a sting. We're introduced to Barry, the Baptist who like hires these basically two fucking idiots to steal these shotguns. That is that his boss wants, which is like, that's a mistake. Why are you hiring those guys that might be my favorite plot line? Just hiring like the worst two possible people for this job. You know, they remind me of the, the, like the Cruella Deville henchman. I would have bet that that would, like, not surprise me if that was written in the script of like, who we're looking for for this. The two. Like, what's his, where are the Horus and Jasper? Jasper. Yeah, I never learned that the idiots in this movie. I never learned their names, like, throughout, um, like, I still am trying to find them in here and I M DB and I was like, I don't know, Gary and Serge maybe, I don't know. Um I know, I know one of them and they've done to my poor Gary, I thought he fucking die dude when the shotgun blast hit his head. Yeah, that is pretty funny. Well, it's also like foreshadowing because he then does get shotgun blasted like at the end. Yeah, that's true. Oh no, he gets hatted. The other guy gets shotgunned a lot of death. I thought too that they were gonna like kind of, I thought Harry didn't die because they don't show him die. They show him like they showed the dude shooting at him, right? But they don't actually show him dead and then literally gonna be like pulp fiction where it's like all the shots and then they just all miss. Oh yeah, it's if you're gonna steal, steal. Well, um so we go to the poker game and also at this time, like the other guys are at Samo and Joe's and they run into Rory and like, ask him to turn off the TV. And he just turns and looks at him, he's like, no, um, the, the card game. I once again have some like, math questions about this because it looks like Eddie is winning quite a bit. And if you started with 100,000, it looks like he's winning quite a few hands. So let's just say he's up to like 1 50 and then he has to get loaned like the other 100. So that's the 2 50 that he has to match. Then maybe, I guess, I don't know. Harry might have said like, oh no, it's 500,000. I don't know. It's, it's weird. Um But all in, all Harry has just now decided that you owe him $500,000. So I guess it's like you can't even question the math because it's just like this dude will kill you if you don't give him $500,000. What's uh what's Hatchet? Harry's um uh muscles name. Bury the Baptist, bury the Baptist. Such a great character. Such a great voice. Like everything about that dude. I love it. So he was actually a bare knuckle boxer before he got into acting. And um this film, I don't know if you saw, it is actually dedicated to him. He died before it premiered of lung cancer. So he was sick the whole time he was shooting this. Oh my God. I thought it was dedicated to someone. I didn't make the connection. It was him though. Yeah. So it's very sad but he um he is, he's so fucking good in that role. It's like, what's a good um like the guys at the end of the firm were perfect as mafia guys. He's fucking like, perfect for this Barry the Baptist roll. So it was funny because, because Taylor had a, had a problem with how uh the cheating was being done. And I was like, I was like, what do you mean? She's like, well, how is, if they have, like, a camera behind Eddie the entire time, um, how is Eddie winning anything at this point? Right. Well, like, why isn't he constantly losing? And I go, I don't know, I guess you're right. I like, why is it? It comes up and she's like, oh, I get it. It's because, uh, the Baptist is on the phone with the two idiots trying to, like, solve their issues or whatever. Um, and during that time Eddie's winning a bunch of hands. Well, and then also at one point you see Barry the Baptist, like, hitting the thing trying to get it to work again and then he gets it to work and he sees, I mean, it's also just horrible card discipline from Eddie to have it, like, out like that. You gotta bring it in tight so only you can see it, you know, to the chest. So he's, he's just a little too uh nonchalant. Um I love like right after this. So basically Eddie just goes and gets drunk for two days. So now we're down to five days but the cook, uh who I guess his name is soap in this um is like, let's just refuse to pay. And Jason Statham is like, do you, do you not know who Harry the hatch is? And then tells a story about how he beat a guy to death with a 15 inch black dildo while this is happening. Hold on while this is happening. It's one of my favorite favorite uh scenes in the movie is they're at a bar where they're telling the story and they all order drinks and they bring them like these fruity pineapple cocktails. And Jason Statham was like, what the fuck is this? And the, the bartenders like it's a cocktail like you asked for. He's like, he's like you can fall in, fall in love with an orangutan in this thing. It's like all this like pineapple uh topping and stuff like that. And he's like, I wanna, I want a cocktail. He's like that is a cocktail. He's like, I thought this was a bar. He's like, it's a Samoan bar. It's like, it's like, well, I just want a beer. It's like we don't serve beer and it's like I thought this was a bar. He goes, it is, it's a Samoan bar. I don't know that whole thing is just so funny to me. I think you could do that about, like, fucking everything. Like, the, one of my favorite bits is when, uh Tom and Nick, the Greek are like, haggling over the stereo and he, he's like $100 is $100 and Tom is like, yeah, except it's not when it's $200. And one thing I didn't notice is he's like, well, what else do I get? And he hands him this shit, this shitty red phone and then he's using it later the whole time the whole, throughout the entire rest of the movie, he just says like what a cheap, like a cheap piece of shit. He is. Um So then also at this time we get the loan sharks are hitting golf balls at this guy. Um then Plank goes to the weed guys and this part is like where I think it's a little too telegraphed but I mean, it happens next. So it's not like that big a deal, but Plank like knocks over a bunch of money and they're like, oh why are you, you know, Plank has seen all of our money. It's like just so obvious what's gonna happen next because there was a scene earlier where dog is like planks like why am I only getting this much in dog? It is like when you come up with the hits, then you'll get paid more. So it's just like all I if if I had like, one complaint about this movie is it's too telegraphed and like, what's gonna happen, it's too, like, easy to follow. I'll tell you why, why. That's not a problem for me. Their accents make it so fucking hard to understand. But I'm glad it is like, literally laid out in this black and white thing because if it, if it wasn't and I had to get over their accents, I would be totally lost, man. I also love the uh dildo idea from Tom about like the, we have the check paid to one company and then we offer them a refund from this other company that's like a very long offensive name. And it's like, and who's gonna cash that at their bank? So their bank knows that this is what they're into, uh which apparently that idea was like stolen from a book or something, but it's fucking great except how great that idea is. It would not work today because everything is done online and you can get like anonymously refunded online. Well, this is 98 didn't work that way. Um So then uh we find out that the idiots sold the guns to Nick who sold the guns to Tom. Um I like when Vinnie Jones goes to sting, it's a great scene where he's like, you know, your boy uh fucked up and Harry, Harry wants your bar, he's always wanted your bar. Um And stings like, well, I know how you feel about cursing. So I'll just say this, tell Harry to go fuck himself, which I, I we didn't even talk about the sons with uh Vinnie Jones and his son in the beginning with the guy who they're getting money from is so great in the, in the tanner. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so, so good. Um And Vinnie Jones like I'm gonna take that a shock and I'll give you another chance. I, I love that sting is just like, you know, I thought, oh he's gonna feel like he's gonna lose his bar and stings like I'm never giving up my bar like fuck, fuck my son. That's his debt like it doesn't affect me. Yeah. Um And then soap bringing the knives are so fucking funny. He's like, why didn't you bring any big knives? And he pulls out like a machete basically. Yeah. Uh And then I think knives are a good idea. Big fuck off shiny ones is also like a great line from him. Um So, so back to the plot kind of um so we're getting down to the part where they lost all the money from the poker game game and they're all thinking where, where are we gonna get half a million dollars, right? Because if they're like every day that they're laid on the money, a finger of theirs is gonna get cut off by the Baptist um at the request of, of hatchet Harry. So we get to the, to the point where they overhear Doug and his crew and they're like, I, you know, Eddie's like, I know how to do this. So this starting at this point, this is where all the layers are coming together, right? Because at this point, um the two dumb um henchmen have stolen the guns. I OK, I have to say another great, great line is when uh the Baptist is hiring them, they're like, what's in it for us? And he's like, it's an old fucking house. It's in the state. You have antiques. It's like, what are we gonna do with fucking antiques? Um Anyway, so the, the, oh and he's like bad, the Baptist is walking away and he's like, oh those northern idiots and then, and then they're like that southern, you know, whatever. Uh I just love all the dialogue in this movie. Sorry, I love, I love when the guys are going to steal the guns and he's like, hey, you gotta put a mask on. He's like, I just got my hair done. You fucking an idiot if you think that I'm gonna put stocking over this and then he gets a shot off. It looks like, yeah, it looks like I don't even know. So, yeah, I'm, I'm kind of ready to talk to the robbery about the robbery. Um I look like, so they go in and for the first time the cage is locked and then Plank pulls out the gun on the sky and he just immediately faints and I, I love too that they shoot off, they're like, threaten to shoot off his foot. They do it and you don't even get to see it until later on when other people come and his foot's just, like, fucking missing almost. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're like, the rest of the weed guys are hiding up in their after with an air soft gun basically. Yeah, like a B B gun like a high powered B B gun and it's just shooting them in the neck. Although I have to say uh growing up a lot of my uh my buddies around the neighborhood had B B guns. Yeah, like with the not plastic but like the metal, the metal ones. Yeah. And like my biggest fear is getting shot in the eye or shot in the neck uh and just fucking bleeding out or losing an eye. Um But yeah, Plank was shot in the neck and he's just continuously bleeding and you just have an artery like shot in your neck and you just have, I already have one missing man. I can't afford them hitting the other one. Um No, but so yeah, and so uh they're being shot like they're being mildly inconvenienced by this B B gun shot in the neck, shot in the arm. He's like, oh that stings. And then um what I love is there's this running joke that um, what's his name? Willie? The tall lanky one. I don't know. I think it's Harry. He brings a girl in that's like half conscious and no one, no one really pays her any mind because she's so quiet and she blends in with the furniture. Right. I think it's Willie. Willie. Willie. Yeah. And so, um, there's this moment where they're threatening, uh, that they're gonna shoot his foot off unless they not only, hey, listen, come down, open the cage, let us in. But also how many people do you have? And you better not lie to us. It's like it's only the three of us. And then you find out that the girl is up there and the girl basically kills them all. But I'm thinking, wow, they risk, they risk it by lying about her. But then it occurred to me it's like they even forgot that she was there. She was the fifth person they lied about uh Willie, I think because they had that. They had already lied to Plank when Plank came because Willie was the one that let him in Willie or Winston. Who fuck cares. I think it's Willie. No. Yeah, Winston's the main drug guy, but they had already lied that Willie wasn't there because he was kind of Plank's connection to get in and they didn't want plant to get in. So, Plank was like, yeah, yeah, they, he's not here. Um My favorite line from all this too. Is like, they're getting shot with the air, soft guns and dog is like, would you all quit getting shot? Um, and then they bring out the real big fucking gun. Yeah. Which is a nice, like, she just starts shooting everything. I liked it. I mean, obviously I, I like that instead of like killing her afterwards, he just kind of punches her and knocks her out. It's like, it's like, you know, he has to do something to her, but he was like, kind of nice about it in the, as, as nice as he could because she just killed one of his dudes. But, um, the traffic warden that shows up is, uh, I don't know if you wreck that. Have you seen the movie the trip? Uh No. So it's, uh, Rob Brydon plays the traffic cop, which I did not recognize him the first time I watched it because I had not seen the trip. I mean, he's obviously, I think, fairly famous over there, but that's what I know him from. Um, and then, so then our four main guys steal this money back and as it happens, I was like, oh, that was fairly easy and I, you know, I didn't remember much from this movie so it was kind of almost the first watch for me again. Um, it was like, that was, you know, that was too easy and it's funny is things kind of keep coming up for the rest of the movie, but it all feels too easy, like the whole time, you know what I mean? It's like everything sort of works out after the poker game for them. Yeah. No, no, it's like, it's like, convenient. Right? It's like, ok, so we're gonna steal there, there and there and it's like, it just so happens that dogs men comes in at the same time that all of, um, uh, who's, who's, they're, they're stealing weed from a guy but then selling it back to him. What's his name? Uh Rory. Rory, right? So Rory's guys go all in at the same time, dogs men goes all in and they mistaken each other for the opposed, you know, for, for our four main guys. And so there's just a giant shootout and everyone dies and like that part is really convenient for our main characters. Well, I think one thing that the movie does good that I didn't catch on to is so the, the drug guys are talking about how they have a backer, but they don't really mention who it is. And then Nick has started talking to Rory about giving him a sample and they've talked about a price and then when, uh, when he brings Rory the sample, Rory's like, take it to the chemist. So it was like, holy shit. Yeah. Yeah. Uh And then it's like that's when everything sort of comes together. So they realize they've been robbed and you see the one guy with his foot just shot off, like sitting on the ground as soon as, as soon as Rory says, take you to the chemist Taylor and I look at each other and she goes, I wonder who they are. I bet she saw that from the beginning, did she? Um So then after that, you have our main guys that are just getting drunk at a bar the whole time as like all of this shit is happening, Nick, the Greek is like leaving town Rory like dog has already discovered like the money of their next door neighbors. It's funny like all these lines where he's like, like they're looking for it. Don't even get me started about how the two idiot wait. So they never delivered the, the, the shotguns to Harry. They sold them to Nick, they sold them to Nick. I sold them to Tom. Yeah. Well, yeah, they sold them to Nick who sold them to Tom. But why didn't they give them to Harry? Because they were hired to give them to Harry. They didn't know they said all Barry gave them the instructions of all the guns in the cabinet. So they gave all the guns in the cabinet to Harry. The other rifles were being held by the guy that shot at them. The old guy, like the butler guy. Oh, so there's really bad instructions on Barry, the Baptist part, honestly. Seriously. Um Yeah, so, so those two guns had, had to be, had, have been bought back. It's like 700 quid or pounds or whatever they deal with. Um, uh, for the both of them. Right. So, it's like 3 50 each. And then you find out later they're both, they're worth like, $200,000. Yeah. Um, I like the lines too. Like Roy and Nick the Greek. He's like, your stupidity might be your saving grace because I know if you knew this was my stuff, like you wouldn't have done this. Um And the scene before where Nick the Greek breaks the table with his glass was like it was just an accident that they kept in the movie. So it wasn't like it wasn't intentional. Um The second part where he puts it down again and there's no glass. Um I also like the, it's kind of almost a little too cute, but he's like you guys couldn't, you know, dog is talking to all these people and they haven't been able to find him and he's like you couldn't find him if they're the next door fucking neighbors. And like earlier Eddie had said, oh, next door, we're the next door neighbors. It's the last place to look and then, then he throws plank through a wall and you know, Plank sees it and then that kind of sets up basically the ending, right? Dog is at the guy's place, they're at a bar. Rory is heading over with his men. Um, and I like the shootouts very funny. So basically everyone's dead and Rory once again has come out unscathed and the chemist is there too and then Rory turns plank over and they kill each other and then the chemist runs out, but I love the dog stuff with Harry and, and Vinnie Jones. So Vinnie Jones head butts him and takes the guns and the, and the money and then the, the guys show up with no one else there and they're like, shit, our money is gone. So they're like freaking out. But then Vinnie takes it to Harry and it's like, yep, this is the money they would have given you. And he's like, oh, so, well, then why did you take it? And he's like, you know, you can never be too careful. So it's like the guys don't realize it, but their debt has been paid off because of the way Vinnie Jones has told Harry that like, yeah, this is the money they were gonna give you. It's all there. Like their debt is paid. The, the only, and I love all this. The only part of that whole thing that I had a problem with is dog throwing plank food through the plaster. Too convenient, too convenient. I wish there was, there was some other little like dodgy way that happened but whatever. Um, and then, and then the guys roll up. Well, so, yeah, so they're, well, Harry, uh, Eddie and the guys call Harry and Harry's like, yeah, you've been paid, but I want to know where the fuck you got these rifles. And so they're heading over but then the idiots go to Rob Harry of the guns that they're supposed to give to Harry, which is just a whole, like, that's a hilarious way for that. They're following Vinnie, they're following Big Chris because they know that he has the guns, but they don't know that they're working for the same guys that they're working with. So they're just wanting to steal back from the guy that they're hired to. Oh, fuck, dude. So then, uh they go in and they basically, everyone dies from that and Vinnie goes back to his car and dog is holding a knife to Little Chris's throat, right? Um And so he, you know, it's funny. So the guys have gone in, they, uh Eddie comes back out with 500,000. He's just like, I think we're in the clear as like Vinnie jones' car hits the back and I read that um guy Ritchie told Vinny Jones to just like, just go as crazy as you want with this scene and like, apparently like the cameramen were all kind of like fucking scared about it because for the most part, he doesn't do stuff like this in the movie. He's very like, calm and reserved. But when you watch that scene, if it comes out of nowhere, you're like, holy fuck. This guy's crazy. I thought it was awesome. I love it. And then I thought if we saw the body, like we saw the head, how brutal that would look. And I'm glad there would be no head. No, there's actually a really similar scene. Um I know you don't watch the, like the Netflix Marvel shows, but there's a similar scene in Daredevil where Kingpin loses it and he smashes the guy's head in, uh, with the car door and you see it actually. And, yeah, you're right after that. There is no head. So then he goes back in, after finding the money. I like how he, he, he goes to check if Eddie's all right. And then he sees the money. He's like, oh, you cheeky bastards. And then, like, although he probably doesn't say bastards because he doesn't swear, but he goes inside and, um, and sees Tom there with the guns and they kind of just look at each other and, like, Vinny is about to pull out like a knife, I think, to throw at him or maybe a weapon. I don't know. And, um, they basically just have an understanding of, like, all right, you have the money, I'll have the guns. Um, and then they sort of go their separate ways. One cool thing I read, um, when Vinnie Jones takes the money and the guns to Harry. Harry is holding the guns and he's like, oh, do you wanna hold it to Vinnie Jones. He's like, ah, better not. And apparently the reason that's in there is because Harry wants Vinny Jones fingerprints on the gun so that it may eventually he can kind of like, if they don't need him anymore can, like, kind of get him hit for a crime. You know what I mean? Like, they can use the guns in some way and, like, they'd be tied back to him. Um, I don't know if that's like, just someone's like fan theory or what, but it's kind of interesting. It sort of makes sense. Um, and then I, I love the ending about this. It's kind of, it's kind of convenient just to have like this funny ending. Right. So they tell Tom, hey, throw away the guns, those are the only things that tie us to it. And then, and then Vinnie Jones comes in. He's like, hey, you know, um, I want to take this back because it's yours, you know. Um, but I'm out of a job. So I took some of it for me, um, for me and my son to set us up and then he's got like a new car outside, but when you open the bag, there's nothing in it. Right? And I guess maybe that what he is giving him is like, hey, those guns are worth a lot of money. You probably don't know that. Um, and then, like, they start trying to call Tom as he throws the guns and, like, he misses the water and like, he puts the phone in his mouth because he can't hold it and the lamp post as he's trying to knock the guns into the water and then he's receiving the call and it's the perfect, like, freeze frame ending. Yeah, it's, it's awesome. No, I, I walked away from this movie feeling really good about everything that happened. Like, I feel like everyone, there's a moment where Rory goes in to like, check the, um, the massacre that happened between his men and dogs, men. And there's this great thing where I think his plank is still alive and he has a gun, um, pulled up already on Rory and Rory already has the gun pulled on him. And all you hear is the two simultaneous shots going off and they're just both dead and it's just like everything takes care of itself. And I think what, as dog is leaving, right? Or as who's carrying the, the bag, um, dogs carrying the bag. But then Winston, the drug guy carrying another bag out too, I think like some of the drugs. So it's Winston then. Yeah. So, and he just got away Scott Free, I guess he did, didn't he? But now he doesn't have like a main guy. He's just like the chemist. So he doesn't have the guy that sells it. So he's in a, he's gotta find someone new to work with. But Yeah, I feel like, I feel like it was a good ending because it was like, uh, Eddie, I guess you would call Eddie our main, main character out of all the four guys. But, um, he doesn't die and basically he doesn't get anything with it, but he's still alive at the end, which is really all you can ask, you know, so you can ask for. So in the end they either basically just lost their initial $25,000 investment, which would suck or they made, what, uh, would it be? So, if they made 100 and 50 divided by four, that's like 25 37.5 or something like that, a piece of their 50 off the guns. Yeah, they thought they were 250,000 for the two guns. So, it's the, it's said between 203 100 they were appraised between 203 100,000. But I, it didn't make it obvious to me if it was each or for both guns. Yeah. I don't know. I thought it was for both but it doesn't matter. But anyway, yeah, either they kind of lost a little bit, which sucks. Or they made a little bit, they made basically the profit they thought they would have made off the poker game originally if they get the guns. So it's almost like a, was like nothing happened. It's like either they lost or everything worked out. Like the way they thought it would in the, in the end. Um One final thing I want to say before we go is I read this story, which is pretty cool. Um So one of the executive producers, Trudy Styler, um she like this movie was having trouble getting distribution and so she called an acquaintance of hers to help them get distribution and that was Tom Cruise. I knew it, I knew it was gonna be Tom Cruise. I was like, who's it gonna be Tom Cruise? I should have said it fuck. So he apparently attended a screening. I gonna be Tom Cruise. So he, as the story goes, he attended a screening of the movie and he like walks in there with a bunch of other executives and when they see Tom Cruise walk in, they're like, oh what the fuck. And then they play the movie and after the movie ends, he apparently stands up and says this is the best movie I've seen in years. You guys would be fools not to buy it. And when I read that exact quote, I was like, I can see Tom like Tom Cruise saying fools like you guys would be fools not to buy it like it. That part made it ring true to me his Jerry Maguire impression. So um we owe guy Ritchie his career and we owe like all of these like London gangster movies to Tom Cruise. So thank you again, Tom Cruise. Um As you know, I, we, we talked a lot about the plot and, you know, we already kind of you and I talked about how great the dialogue is through this entire film, but we didn't want to spend too long picking out every line. I'm just gonna, and I, and I, I love the movie as a whole. Um But I'm just gonna leave my part to this, the funniest fucking thing in this movie is how much they rag on fat man. It's like the skinniest guy in the movie. They just keep going. What a, what a complex they give this dude and, and then from like walking to the grocery store and being like, oh my God, what have you eaten to like me? Bacon and Eddie are gonna go this way and fat man, you go this way and then he just like, wait, who's fat man? It's like, I don't understand. I agree. Yeah. That is like the, the, the commitment to that joke? Well, thanks for listening to another episode of, I finally watched, this is David and this is a, and I finally watched Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels----more----

Oh You want a Bonuuuuus !? This is our 1st time setting up our new wireless mic equipment ! Be patient with us & press play to join us on our new journey of bringing you quality, unfiltered entertainment ! (Recorded April 15, 2023)

Oh You want a Bonuuuuus !? This is our 1st time setting up our new wireless mic equipment ! Be patient with us & press play to join us on our new journey of bringing you quality, unfiltered entertainment ! (Recorded April 15, 2023)

On this week's episode, Rollski and Co break down the last custom bracket of 2023.  Bracket topic: Oh You're a Bada$$ examples: Gym mirror flexer, Revving your car/truck engine, Keyboard warrior etc.. 16 teams. Who will survive?? To be apart of the next episode you can send us questions to sipnservepod@gmail.com or Call/TEXT us on our Sip N Serve Hotline 740-720-3537  Like and Follow us on our Facebook Page: Sip N Serve Pod Twitter: SipNServePod Instagram: sipnservepod TikTok : thesipnservepodcast   https://linktr.ee/sipnservepod

EDNA [So], how is Hanzel, [Dear]? GRETL Oh, you know… EDNA I don't know...s'why I ask. GRETL Same, as usual. EDNA What is “usual?” GRETL He's so broken. EDNA **tsk-tsk* [shaking her head, sipping tea] GRETL —wvich is fine— EDNA Good for you. GRETL Yes, it is—but still—almost sad. EDNA [shrugs] Almost. GRETL [shrugs, sips tea in unison with edna] EDNA Would you like another? GRETL Sure, why not? EDNA [she pours another mug] GRETL Wvat is this? EDNA It's just coffee. GRETL Are you sure? EDNA … GRETL … EDNA …. —- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH HIIIIIYYYYYAAAAAHHHH STAY DOWN, BITCH. YES, I WIN. don't get up. GET BACK UP. seriously, don't move. GET UP, BITCH! no, you don— BLACKOUT. Ooohh. Kick to the face. That was to the neck. Neck/face— ‍♀️ There's a difference. S/he has a short neck. X.X The famed Edna Mode (The Incredibles) becomes excruciatingly angry after learning that SupaCree has altered the “supa suit” she designed for her—by adding a cape. I wish i was pretty Tim admitted that might be the last wish he grants me this century; Wanna make history... but now I make dollars for callers, I'm all in my misery Misery: Listen to me! I didn't mean to see something in Sonny nobody should see And this shit'll make history; Guess i'm blessed, Now he's dead to me “Bless you” I said, As I sneezed when they cut off my- ... Now I live on a silver platter, I splatted: my hat's on the pavement Must be something ‘bout Asians, Cause every time I say ‘Amen' when I'm praying for Sonny, or Kayla Lauren, or whoever this demented demon that's chasing me-- Satan asks for a payment, and says “Hey! Now, a pop quiz in Mandaran, Learn to speak Spanish, fast, if you can, Cause american ignorance, laziness, complacency and impatience Is ending this country.” --It's ending this country, And the reason why I'm homeless is I decided to run for president and run from him at the same time, And then nobody wanted me Nobody wanted to see the things I would preach about, If they let me out, Of these restraints now; I'm not havin a cow or nothing, I mean i'm lactating, wait; Did he throw my 8 week baby at our other baby, Just to punch me? Broke it off with Sonny a decade later for throwing a Grammy Award at me; Literally and Action Figuratively Hasn't happened yet, But all of the future history I remember is vivid to me So he has to be Evil, I think To claim that he loves me all these infinite ways and dimensions, And then throw a demon instagram basic bitch at me Now she's the reason I bleed and can't eat for a week-- I'm tired of being Jesus, but he's still on his leave, and I'd probably be laughing if I wasn't magnetically attracted to half of the Industry's greatest I hate myself, I hate Dillon Francis and I hate him, But only ‘cause I can't make it to the banquet. I burned the sweater he gave me and left the blanket with my ex, I was stressed, yes, Left my luggage in Boston just to get to Dillon Francis at XS in Vegas and Write this: “WHY GOD!?!? WHY DILLON FRANCIS?!” Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍♀️ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. AHHHGGG (Eggageratedly disgusted sigh) (busted) --WHAT? YOU WENT TO DILLON FRANCIS LAND--WITHOUT ME. Nooo...I didn't. YOU DID, and you had a GOOD TIME. It's always a good time... AGH-- AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! [One attacks, the other runs.] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

EDNA [So], how is Hanzel, [Dear]? GRETL Oh, you know… EDNA I don't know...s'why I ask. GRETL Same, as usual. EDNA What is “usual?” GRETL He's so broken. EDNA **tsk-tsk* [shaking her head, sipping tea] GRETL —wvich is fine— EDNA Good for you. GRETL Yes, it is—but still—almost sad. EDNA [shrugs] Almost. GRETL [shrugs, sips tea in unison with edna] EDNA Would you like another? GRETL Sure, why not? EDNA [she pours another mug] GRETL Wvat is this? EDNA It's just coffee. GRETL Are you sure? EDNA … GRETL … EDNA …. —- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH HIIIIIYYYYYAAAAAHHHH STAY DOWN, BITCH. YES, I WIN. don't get up. GET BACK UP. seriously, don't move. GET UP, BITCH! no, you don— BLACKOUT. Ooohh. Kick to the face. That was to the neck. Neck/face— ‍♀️ There's a difference. S/he has a short neck. X.X The famed Edna Mode (The Incredibles) becomes excruciatingly angry after learning that SupaCree has altered the “supa suit” she designed for her—by adding a cape. I wish i was pretty Tim admitted that might be the last wish he grants me this century; Wanna make history... but now I make dollars for callers, I'm all in my misery Misery: Listen to me! I didn't mean to see something in Sonny nobody should see And this shit'll make history; Guess i'm blessed, Now he's dead to me “Bless you” I said, As I sneezed when they cut off my- ... Now I live on a silver platter, I splatted: my hat's on the pavement Must be something ‘bout Asians, Cause every time I say ‘Amen' when I'm praying for Sonny, or Kayla Lauren, or whoever this demented demon that's chasing me-- Satan asks for a payment, and says “Hey! Now, a pop quiz in Mandaran, Learn to speak Spanish, fast, if you can, Cause american ignorance, laziness, complacency and impatience Is ending this country.” --It's ending this country, And the reason why I'm homeless is I decided to run for president and run from him at the same time, And then nobody wanted me Nobody wanted to see the things I would preach about, If they let me out, Of these restraints now; I'm not havin a cow or nothing, I mean i'm lactating, wait; Did he throw my 8 week baby at our other baby, Just to punch me? Broke it off with Sonny a decade later for throwing a Grammy Award at me; Literally and Action Figuratively Hasn't happened yet, But all of the future history I remember is vivid to me So he has to be Evil, I think To claim that he loves me all these infinite ways and dimensions, And then throw a demon instagram basic bitch at me Now she's the reason I bleed and can't eat for a week-- I'm tired of being Jesus, but he's still on his leave, and I'd probably be laughing if I wasn't magnetically attracted to half of the Industry's greatest I hate myself, I hate Dillon Francis and I hate him, But only ‘cause I can't make it to the banquet. I burned the sweater he gave me and left the blanket with my ex, I was stressed, yes, Left my luggage in Boston just to get to Dillon Francis at XS in Vegas and Write this: “WHY GOD!?!? WHY DILLON FRANCIS?!” Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍♀️ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. AHHHGGG (Eggageratedly disgusted sigh) (busted) --WHAT? YOU WENT TO DILLON FRANCIS LAND--WITHOUT ME. Nooo...I didn't. YOU DID, and you had a GOOD TIME. It's always a good time... AGH-- AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! [One attacks, the other runs.] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Z so

EDNA [So], how is Hanzel, [Dear]? GRETL Oh, you know… EDNA I don't know...s'why I ask. GRETL Same, as usual. EDNA What is “usual?” GRETL He's so broken. EDNA **tsk-tsk* [shaking her head, sipping tea] GRETL —wvich is fine— EDNA Good for you. GRETL Yes, it is—but still—almost sad. EDNA [shrugs] Almost. GRETL [shrugs, sips tea in unison with edna] EDNA Would you like another? GRETL Sure, why not? EDNA [she pours another mug] GRETL Wvat is this? EDNA It's just coffee. GRETL Are you sure? EDNA … GRETL … EDNA …. —- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH HIIIIIYYYYYAAAAAHHHH STAY DOWN, BITCH. YES, I WIN. don't get up. GET BACK UP. seriously, don't move. GET UP, BITCH! no, you don— BLACKOUT. Ooohh. Kick to the face. That was to the neck. Neck/face— ‍♀️ There's a difference. S/he has a short neck. X.X The famed Edna Mode (The Incredibles) becomes excruciatingly angry after learning that SupaCree has altered the “supa suit” she designed for her—by adding a cape. I wish i was pretty Tim admitted that might be the last wish he grants me this century; Wanna make history... but now I make dollars for callers, I'm all in my misery Misery: Listen to me! I didn't mean to see something in Sonny nobody should see And this shit'll make history; Guess i'm blessed, Now he's dead to me “Bless you” I said, As I sneezed when they cut off my- ... Now I live on a silver platter, I splatted: my hat's on the pavement Must be something ‘bout Asians, Cause every time I say ‘Amen' when I'm praying for Sonny, or Kayla Lauren, or whoever this demented demon that's chasing me-- Satan asks for a payment, and says “Hey! Now, a pop quiz in Mandaran, Learn to speak Spanish, fast, if you can, Cause american ignorance, laziness, complacency and impatience Is ending this country.” --It's ending this country, And the reason why I'm homeless is I decided to run for president and run from him at the same time, And then nobody wanted me Nobody wanted to see the things I would preach about, If they let me out, Of these restraints now; I'm not havin a cow or nothing, I mean i'm lactating, wait; Did he throw my 8 week baby at our other baby, Just to punch me? Broke it off with Sonny a decade later for throwing a Grammy Award at me; Literally and Action Figuratively Hasn't happened yet, But all of the future history I remember is vivid to me So he has to be Evil, I think To claim that he loves me all these infinite ways and dimensions, And then throw a demon instagram basic bitch at me Now she's the reason I bleed and can't eat for a week-- I'm tired of being Jesus, but he's still on his leave, and I'd probably be laughing if I wasn't magnetically attracted to half of the Industry's greatest I hate myself, I hate Dillon Francis and I hate him, But only ‘cause I can't make it to the banquet. I burned the sweater he gave me and left the blanket with my ex, I was stressed, yes, Left my luggage in Boston just to get to Dillon Francis at XS in Vegas and Write this: “WHY GOD!?!? WHY DILLON FRANCIS?!” Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍♀️ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. AHHHGGG (Eggageratedly disgusted sigh) (busted) --WHAT? YOU WENT TO DILLON FRANCIS LAND--WITHOUT ME. Nooo...I didn't. YOU DID, and you had a GOOD TIME. It's always a good time... AGH-- AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! [One attacks, the other runs.] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Z so

I met you at The Ninth Gate… I don't think this is a good idea. It's a fine idea. I really don't know. Then shut up. Obsession, Lust— Thr delicate balance between Genius, and Madman What do I look like to you? …a movie star. What is that? A movie star. I didn't hear you! A movie star! I wanted to tell you this in person… If you go any further, there's no going backs There's no going back anyway. CHAUNCEY STREET, BROOKLYN. NY. A knock at the door. ALEX lets our a deep sigh and places her phone down on the table; she opens the door. Her face is flush. Hey. Hey. [A mysterious man] lets himself in. Did you talk to her. Yeah. Is she still in New York. Yeah. She's still in New York. Brooklyn? I don't know. ‘You don't know' I don't know. —but she's here. In the city? Yeah! Okay. [the mysterious man] sets a stuffed white envelope on the table] Here. Wun Jimerlilly Fallerlallonms Oo00h. TW0 Jimmerlilly Fallerlallonms *GASP* WhT! TW0 JiMmeRLiLly FaLleRlaLloNms?!? Jyus! JYES. —nerr. My god. Yea captain. S/he speaks perfect Skrillex. 3/10 Room 208 2:30 pm I just want to be okay again I just want to live in LA again I just want to play again No Vacancy, No Vacation, No veneration or compensation for commissioner; No doctors for the patients A saint, But seeking minimum wage And simple certain stakes I got on the wrong train And still ended up in the right place Long nights make for Nice days I carried a distinct memory of this day, and so there had to have been something important about it— least I thought, or perhaps even hoped, that there was maybe something good and special just around the corner, as it had been hard and bad for so long, that in the very least I knew that it couldn't get worse-that I had somehow hit rock bottom again so quickly that it was indeed possible that I would spring up just as quickly, which I realized was a brighter outlook than I had even expected at best, and a start at most. While inwardly I was devastated, I was at least able to suffice a calm facade, which Luke had commended me on, despite his various other psychological tricks and quips, as it seemed everything had been a test with him—but then, nearly everything was a puzzle or a challenge, not that I minded—but the latest installation of superfluous hazing, which was (at least by google'ssuggestion, somewhat even seemingly supernatural had been a first handed look into the srufff of nightmares, white america's predominately black non-solution to the housing crisis which they had caused, and furthermore, a test in my own mental strength and wits—a reminder of every reason and more why I had left my previous life behind—it's trials neither worth writing about, nor remembering, however, it's effects a tragic scar on my psyche, however unremarkable the result. It only hurts to think about a lot, And so I don't, It's just a rock, really Going on a walk through Central Park ia not an option. Neither a mother, nor father, Nor mirror; Here I'm sitting at the harbor Nonchalant as God would ever want to be And conscious, yet unconscious— Nodding off again, I'll know it when it's time to talk again (To talk again) Pause What. Remember what AlwaZ said. Uh. ALWAZ AKA -THE ILLUMINATI You're a genius. SUPACREE Yeah, thank you. ALWAZ Listen, you're famous—! SUPACREE When is this? New York City is probably absolutely the worst place in the world to be, if you don't want to be there. Hands down worst place ever. And I mean—I was stranded in Mexico with no money for a couple months, and that shit sucked—but it wasn't like “kill yourself” bad. New York gets craaaazy. I was on the subway and this dude was just listening to that one The Weekend Song over and over on loop. The funny thing is. I don't remember which The Weekend song it was— but you play any one of his songs on loop and you tell me if that man is okay. He's not okay. I heard it's a chemical imbalance Whatever that is Is has to be Obviously, Cause they said it is, Cause they said so, So it is, isn't it? Sunni bLums pDisxses It's my favorite troll doll! Ah! Real monsters! I don't use Travelocity!/ Get back on my front lawn, motherfucker! Hey, it's Daniel Dipshit! Who the fuck is “Daniel?” You're Daniel, Dipshit! Why “Daniel?!” Dipshit—why not just Cause you don't even know your own name, Dipshit! [sprays with hose] WTF ARE YOU DOING. I don't like licking the sour stuff off, I just want the sweet stuff! Oh, do you? Don't be gay. DJ Magic Kenny Where's Dillon Francis. He's not here. Where is he? I fired him. You what? I fired him. When?! This morning. You can't fire him! He's half the show! Just—one date. No. Sunni, come on. No! I'm not dating Diplo. What?! Why not?! He's too pretty. PUT A SHIRT ON. GODDAMNIT, SHUT UP. OWSLA places a TRUTH SPELL on SUNNI BLU/ which results in her being outed as SUPACREE. Nooooo. YES. TABLOIDS Mwahaha PAPARAZZI MWAHAHAHAJA TMZ MWAHAHAHAJA ILUMINATI -_- Great. You pissed off the Illuminati. I am the Illuminati. Now we're fucked. What don't you get about this: I am in control. [a cannonball flies through the window] I told you. Holy shit, what is THIS. It's a cannonball. A fucking cannonball! W0W. It says something. What's it say The cannonball reads: “You're so fucked.” “You're so fucked. W0W. Nice. I told you. No, I told you. “I'm in control!” I write in canon! It's a stretch, but it'll do! Keep up. You wrote this? I wrote everything! The next level Timmy's Turn up When I talk Hi, I'm Ū Offenbach 4U Heart over height, Head over heels, Mind over matter— I don't want to fight you. We have to. No, we don't. We're going to. But we've already— That doesn't matter. It matters to me. I am you. Then it matters to you! That's—not what I meant. C'esme't. I'm gonna go. You're leaving?! The quarrel's tomorrow. No it isn't! Yes it is. Call it off! No. Its tradition. But— ? [I love you] Goodnight. She heads for the door. [I love you too.] Unspoken words In the hurt of the war of the worlds You come first, Then unearth I become in the force of the storm Where were you, before this? What I was, I assure you was unsure, at first Now, it's just Another record So it works forward, and back Of course Back—and forth… Yes. This is marvelous. Well, it's yoursz I can't take this. You're not taking it; I'm giving it to you. What for? For traveling, of course! But I'm not going anywhere… What is this. It's a DJ. Oh, wow, nice. Yeah. Where'd you get it? I found it. Oh, wow. Yeah. Where? It was just—on the ground. On the ground? Yeah. Oh. MORPHEUS You know what? What is it? MORPHEUS …nevermind. AMY POHLER …I think this is a bad idea. TINA FEY It's a good idea. AMY POHLER I think it's bad. TINA FEY Have another shot. [she does] AMY POE—whatever It's a really bad idea! TINA FEY OKAY, LETS GO. Pan out to JIMMY FALLON standing awkwardly in silence in the shadows behind them. JIMMY FALLON I'm coming too. OH MY GOD. what the [BLEEP] How long have you been standing there. The whole time. No you haven't No you weren't. You're so—WEIRD. I'm coming with you. No NO. Yes. I'm coming with you. No— —wait— No! Jimmy, do you think this is a good idea, or a bad idea. [beat] It's the worst idea ever. HA! NO—it's GOOD. I TOLD YOU. You're not coming. He's coming. With. (hiccups) us. Yes. UGH *takes shot* UGH [BLEEP] It's the worst idea ever— NO UT ISNT. —it's a really bad idea. You need me. Ew. We need him therr—uhh Yes. [beat] Fine. YES. But don't say anything C'ESME'T Petrutheio… PETRUTHEIO You should go. If you are what you eat Then I'm nuts and bananas but sometimes I'm even a hero But that's neither here nore there, no. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child DLAXKBACK: SEASON 5 June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍♀️ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier” Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh. Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. I needed it to be a leap year, but it wasn't , and although I was expecting a small amount of money on the 3rd, I had to depart lik/ on the first, and though I had roughly 4 days remaining in my stay, it had started to feel like the beginning of the end, from about the night before and into the morning, waking up sick and sore and most of all tired and hungry A Free Vegan is a term used to describe a person who practices veganism, but still may moderately consume some animal products sparingly, such as collagen, honey, or other products medicinally or as supplementary nutrition; this Vegan might wear leather, use products or materials derived from animals for convenience, functionality, or economic reasons Girl with the tattoo Miguel “A Walkthough Central Park” I'm on a regimen of vitavitavitamin, I need some anescrptoc and some aneceptomen Medicine man and an antiseptic A bed to rest my head I, some bread Some peanut butter for my jelly {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

I met you at The Ninth Gate… I don't think this is a good idea. It's a fine idea. I really don't know. Then shut up. Obsession, Lust— Thr delicate balance between Genius, and Madman What do I look like to you? …a movie star. What is that? A movie star. I didn't hear you! A movie star! I wanted to tell you this in person… If you go any further, there's no going backs There's no going back anyway. CHAUNCEY STREET, BROOKLYN. NY. A knock at the door. ALEX lets our a deep sigh and places her phone down on the table; she opens the door. Her face is flush. Hey. Hey. [A mysterious man] lets himself in. Did you talk to her. Yeah. Is she still in New York. Yeah. She's still in New York. Brooklyn? I don't know. ‘You don't know' I don't know. —but she's here. In the city? Yeah! Okay. [the mysterious man] sets a stuffed white envelope on the table] Here. Wun Jimerlilly Fallerlallonms Oo00h. TW0 Jimmerlilly Fallerlallonms *GASP* WhT! TW0 JiMmeRLiLly FaLleRlaLloNms?!? Jyus! JYES. —nerr. My god. Yea captain. S/he speaks perfect Skrillex. 3/10 Room 208 2:30 pm I just want to be okay again I just want to live in LA again I just want to play again No Vacancy, No Vacation, No veneration or compensation for commissioner; No doctors for the patients A saint, But seeking minimum wage And simple certain stakes I got on the wrong train And still ended up in the right place Long nights make for Nice days I carried a distinct memory of this day, and so there had to have been something important about it— least I thought, or perhaps even hoped, that there was maybe something good and special just around the corner, as it had been hard and bad for so long, that in the very least I knew that it couldn't get worse-that I had somehow hit rock bottom again so quickly that it was indeed possible that I would spring up just as quickly, which I realized was a brighter outlook than I had even expected at best, and a start at most. While inwardly I was devastated, I was at least able to suffice a calm facade, which Luke had commended me on, despite his various other psychological tricks and quips, as it seemed everything had been a test with him—but then, nearly everything was a puzzle or a challenge, not that I minded—but the latest installation of superfluous hazing, which was (at least by google'ssuggestion, somewhat even seemingly supernatural had been a first handed look into the srufff of nightmares, white america's predominately black non-solution to the housing crisis which they had caused, and furthermore, a test in my own mental strength and wits—a reminder of every reason and more why I had left my previous life behind—it's trials neither worth writing about, nor remembering, however, it's effects a tragic scar on my psyche, however unremarkable the result. It only hurts to think about a lot, And so I don't, It's just a rock, really Going on a walk through Central Park ia not an option. Neither a mother, nor father, Nor mirror; Here I'm sitting at the harbor Nonchalant as God would ever want to be And conscious, yet unconscious— Nodding off again, I'll know it when it's time to talk again (To talk again) Pause What. Remember what AlwaZ said. Uh. ALWAZ AKA -THE ILLUMINATI You're a genius. SUPACREE Yeah, thank you. ALWAZ Listen, you're famous—! SUPACREE When is this? New York City is probably absolutely the worst place in the world to be, if you don't want to be there. Hands down worst place ever. And I mean—I was stranded in Mexico with no money for a couple months, and that shit sucked—but it wasn't like “kill yourself” bad. New York gets craaaazy. I was on the subway and this dude was just listening to that one The Weekend Song over and over on loop. The funny thing is. I don't remember which The Weekend song it was— but you play any one of his songs on loop and you tell me if that man is okay. He's not okay. I heard it's a chemical imbalance Whatever that is Is has to be Obviously, Cause they said it is, Cause they said so, So it is, isn't it? Sunni bLums pDisxses It's my favorite troll doll! Ah! Real monsters! I don't use Travelocity!/ Get back on my front lawn, motherfucker! Hey, it's Daniel Dipshit! Who the fuck is “Daniel?” You're Daniel, Dipshit! Why “Daniel?!” Dipshit—why not just Cause you don't even know your own name, Dipshit! [sprays with hose] WTF ARE YOU DOING I don't like licking the sour stuff off, I just want the sweet stuff! Oh, do you? Don't he gay. DJ Magic Kenny Where's Dillon Francis. He's not here. Where is he? I fired him. You what? I fired him. When?! This morning. You can't fire him! He's half the show! Just—one date. No. Sunni, come on. No! I'm not dating Diplo. What?! Why not?! He's too pretty. PUT A SHIRT ON. GODDAMNIT, SHUT UP. OWSLA places a TRUTH SPELL on SUNNI BLU/ which results in her being outed as SUPACREE. Nooooo. YES. TABLOIDS Mwahaha PAPARAZZI MWAHAHAHAJA TMZ MWAHAHAHAJA ILUMINATI -_- Great. You pissed off the Illuminati. I am the Illuminati. Now we're fucked. What don't you get about this: I am in control. [a cannonball flies through the window] I told you. Holy shit, what is THIS. It's a cannonball. A fucking cannonball! W0W. It says something. What's it say The cannonball reads: “You're so fucked.” “You're so fucked. W0W. Nice. I told you. No, I told you. “I'm in control!” I write in canon! It's a stretch, but it'll do! Keep up. You wrote this? I wrote everything! The next level Timmy's Turn up When I talk Hi, I'm Ū Offenbach 4U Heart over height, Head over heels, Mind over matter— I don't want to fight you. We have to. No, we don't. We're going to. But we've already— That doesn't matter. It matters to me. I am you. Then it matters to you! That's—not what I meant. C'esme't. I'm gonna go. You're leaving?! The quarrel's tomorrow. No it isn't! Yes it is. Call it off! No. Its tradition. But— ? [I love you] Goodnight. She heads for the door. [I love you too.] Unspoken words In the hurt of the war of the worlds You come first, Then unearth I become in the force of the storm Where were you, before this? What I was, I assure you was unsure, at first Now, it's just Another record So it works forward, and back Of course Back—and forth… Yes. This is marvelous. Well, it's yoursz I can't take this. You're not taking it; I'm giving it to you. What for? For traveling, of course! But I'm not going anywhere… What is this. It's a DJ. Oh, wow, nice. Yeah. Where'd you get it? I found it. Oh, wow. Yeah. Where? It was just—on the ground. On the ground? Yeah. Oh. MORPHEUS You know what? What is it? MORPHEUS …nevermind. AMY POHLER …I think this is a bad idea. TINA FEY It's a good idea. AMY POHLER I think it's bad. TINA FEY Have another shot. [she does] AMY POE—whatever It's a really bad idea! TINA FEY OKAY, LETS GO. Pan out to JIMMY FALLON standing awkwardly in silence in the shadows behind them. JIMMY FALLON I'm coming too. OH MY GOD. what the [BLEEP] How long have you been standing there. The whole time. No you haven't No you weren't. You're so—WEIRD. I'm coming with you. No NO. Yes. I'm coming with you. No— —wait— No! Jimmy, do you think this is a good idea, or a bad idea. [beat] It's the worst idea ever. HA! NO—it's GOOD. I TOLD YOU. You're not coming. He's coming. With. (hiccups) us. Yes. UGH *takes shot* UGH [BLEEP] It's the worst idea ever— NO UT ISNT. —it's a really bad idea. You need me. Ew. We need him therr—uhh Yes. [beat] Fine. YES. But don't say anything C'ESME'T Petrutheio… PETRUTHEIO You should go. If you are what you eat Then I'm nuts and bananas but sometimes I'm even a hero But that's neither here nore there, no. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child DLAXKBACK: SEASON 5 June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍♀️ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier” Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh. Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. I needed it to be a leap year, but it wasn't , and although I was expecting a small amount of money on the 3rd, I had to depart lik/ on the first, and though I had roughly 4 days remaining in my stay, it had started to feel like the beginning of the end, from about the night before and into the morning, waking up sick and sore and most of all tired and hungry A Free Vegan is a term used to describe a person who practices veganism, but still may moderately consume some animal products sparingly, such as collagen, honey, or other products medicinally or as supplementary nutrition; this Vegan might wear leather, use products or materials derived from animals for convenience, functionality, or economic reasons Girl with the tattoo Miguel “A Walkthough Central Park” I'm on a regimen of vitavitavitamin, I need some anescrptoc and some aneceptomen Medicine man and an antiseptic A bed to rest my head I, some bread Some peanut butter for my jelly {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

the first drop gave me herpes. well, that's S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E . I met you at The Ninth Gate… I don't think this is a good idea. It's a fine idea. I really don't know. Then shut up. Obsession, Lust— Thr delicate balance between Genius, and Madman What do I look like to you? …a movie star. What is that? A movie star. I didn't hear you! A movie star! I wanted to tell you this in person… If you go any further, there's no going backs There's no going back anyway. CHAUNCEY STREET, BROOKLYN. NY. A knock at the door. ALEX lets our a deep sigh and places her phone down on the table; she opens the door. Her face is flush. Hey. Hey. [A mysterious man] lets himself in. Did you talk to her. Yeah. Is she still in New York. Yeah. She's still in New York. Brooklyn? I don't know. ‘You don't know' I don't know. —but she's here. In the city? Yeah! Okay. [the mysterious man] sets a stuffed white envelope on the table] Here. Wun Jimerlilly Fallerlallonms Oo00h. TW0 Jimmerlilly Fallerlallonms *GASP* WhT! TW0 JiMmeRLiLly FaLleRlaLloNms?!? Jyus! JYES. —nerr. My god. Yea captain. S/he speaks perfect Skrillex. 3/10 Room 208 2:30 pm I just want to be okay again I just want to live in LA again I just want to play again No Vacancy, No Vacation, No veneration or compensation for commissioner; No doctors for the patients A saint, But seeking minimum wage And simple certain stakes I got on the wrong train And still ended up in the right place Long nights make for Nice days I carried a distinct memory of this day, and so there had to have been something important about it— least I thought, or perhaps even hoped, that there was maybe something good and special just around the corner, as it had been hard and bad for so long, that in the very least I knew that it couldn't get worse-that I had somehow hit rock bottom again so quickly that it was indeed possible that I would spring up just as quickly, which I realized was a brighter outlook than I had even expected at best, and a start at most. While inwardly I was devastated, I was at least able to suffice a calm facade, which Luke had commended me on, despite his various other psychological tricks and quips, as it seemed everything had been a test with him—but then, nearly everything was a puzzle or a challenge, not that I minded—but the latest installation of superfluous hazing, which was (at least by google'ssuggestion, somewhat even seemingly supernatural had been a first handed look into the srufff of nightmares, white america's predominately black non-solution to the housing crisis which they had caused, and furthermore, a test in my own mental strength and wits—a reminder of every reason and more why I had left my previous life behind—it's trials neither worth writing about, nor remembering, however, it's effects a tragic scar on my psyche, however unremarkable the result. It only hurts to think about a lot, And so I don't, It's just a rock, really Going on a walk through Central Park ia not an option. Neither a mother, nor father, Nor mirror; Here I'm sitting at the harbor Nonchalant as God would ever want to be And conscious, yet unconscious— Nodding off again, I'll know it when it's time to talk again (To talk again) Pause What. Remember what AlwaZ said. Uh. ALWAZ AKA -THE ILLUMINATI You're a genius. SUPACREE Yeah, thank you. ALWAZ Listen, you're famous—! SUPACREE When is this? New York City is probably absolutely the worst place in the world to be, if you don't want to be there. Hands down worst place ever. And I mean—I was stranded in Mexico with no money for a couple months, and that shit sucked—but it wasn't like “kill yourself” bad. New York gets craaaazy. I was on the subway and this dude was just listening to that one The Weekend Song over and over on loop. The funny thing is. I don't remember which The Weekend song it was— but you play any one of his songs on loop and you tell me if that man is okay. He's not okay. I heard it's a chemical imbalance Whatever that is Is has to be Obviously, Cause they said it is, Cause they said so, So it is, isn't it? Sunni bLums pDisxses It's my favorite troll doll! Ah! Real monsters! I don't use Travelocity!/ Get back on my front lawn, motherfucker! Hey, it's Daniel Dipshit! Who the fuck is “Daniel?” You're Daniel, Dipshit! Why “Daniel?!” Dipshit—why not just Cause you don't even know your own name, Dipshit! [sprays with hose] WTF ARE YOU DOING I don't like licking the sour stuff off, I just want the sweet stuff! Oh, do you? Don't he gay. DJ Magic Kenny Where's Dillon Francis. He's not here. Where is he? I fired him. You what? I fired him. When?! This morning. You can't fire him! He's half the show! Just—one date. No. Sunni, come on. No! I'm not dating Diplo. What?! Why not?! He's too pretty. PUT A SHIRT ON. GODDAMNIT, SHUT UP. OWSLA places a TRUTH SPELL on SUNNI BLU/ which results in her being outed as SUPACREE. Nooooo. YES. TABLOIDS Mwahaha PAPARAZZI MWAHAHAHAJA TMZ MWAHAHAHAJA ILUMINATI -_- Great. You pissed off the Illuminati. I am the Illuminati. Now we're fucked. What don't you get about this: I am in control. [a cannonball flies through the window] I told you. Holy shit, what is THIS. It's a cannonball. A fucking cannonball! W0W. It says something. What's it say The cannonball reads: “You're so fucked.” “You're so fucked. W0W. Nice. I told you. No, I told you. “I'm in control!” I write in canon! It's a stretch, but it'll do! Keep up. You wrote this? I wrote everything! The next level Timmy's Turn up When I talk Hi, I'm Ū Offenbach 4U Heart over height, Head over heels, Mind over matter— I don't want to fight you. We have to. No, we don't. We're going to. But we've already— That doesn't matter. It matters to me. I am you. Then it matters to you! That's—not what I meant. C'esme't. I'm gonna go. You're leaving?! The quarrel's tomorrow. No it isn't! Yes it is. Call it off! No. Its tradition. But— ? [I love you] Goodnight. She heads for the door. [I love you too.] Unspoken words In the hurt of the war of the worlds You come first, Then unearth I become in the force of the storm Where were you, before this? What I was, I assure you was unsure, at first Now, it's just Another record So it works forward, and back Of course Back—and forth… Yes. This is marvelous. Well, it's yoursz I can't take this. You're not taking it; I'm giving it to you. What for? For traveling, of course! But I'm not going anywhere… What is this. It's a DJ. Oh, wow, nice. Yeah. Where'd you get it? I found it. Oh, wow. Yeah. Where? It was just—on the ground. On the ground? Yeah. Oh. MORPHEUS You know what? What is it? MORPHEUS …nevermind. AMY POHLER …I think this is a bad idea. TINA FEY It's a good idea. AMY POHLER I think it's bad. TINA FEY Have another shot. [she does] AMY POE—whatever It's a really bad idea! TINA FEY OKAY, LETS GO. Pan out to JIMMY FALLON standing awkwardly in silence in the shadows behind them. JIMMY FALLON I'm coming too. OH MY GOD. what the [BLEEP] How long have you been standing there. The whole time. No you haven't No you weren't. You're so—WEIRD. I'm coming with you. No NO. Yes. I'm coming with you. No— —wait— No! Jimmy, do you think this is a good idea, or a bad idea. [beat] It's the worst idea ever. HA! NO—it's GOOD. I TOLD YOU. You're not coming. He's coming. With. (hiccups) us. Yes. UGH *takes shot* UGH [BLEEP] It's the worst idea ever— NO UT ISNT. —it's a really bad idea. You need me. Ew. We need him therr—uhh Yes. [beat] Fine. YES. But don't say anything C'ESME'T Petrutheio… PETRUTHEIO You should go. If you are what you eat Then I'm nuts and bananas but sometimes I'm even a hero But that's neither here nore there, no. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child DLAXKBACK: SEASON 5 June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍♀️ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier” Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh. Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. I needed it to be a leap year, but it wasn't , and although I was expecting a small amount of money on the 3rd, I had to depart lik/ on the first, and though I had roughly 4 days remaining in my stay, it had started to feel like the beginning of the end, from about the night before and into the morning, waking up sick and sore and most of all tired and hungry A Free Vegan is a term used to describe a person who practices veganism, but still may moderately consume some animal products sparingly, such as collagen, honey, or other products medicinally or as supplementary nutrition; this Vegan might wear leather, use products or materials derived from animals for convenience, functionality, or economic reasons Girl with the tattoo Miguel “A Walkthough Central Park” I'm on a regimen of vitavitavitamin, I need some anescrptoc and some aneceptomen Medicine man and an antiseptic A bed to rest my head I, some bread Some peanut butter for my jelly {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

I met you at The Ninth Gate… I don't think this is a good idea. It's a fine idea. I really don't know. Then shut up. Obsession, Lust— Thr delicate balance between Genius, and Madman What do I look like to you? …a movie star. What is that? A movie star. I didn't hear you! A movie star! I wanted to tell you this in person… If you go any further, there's no going backs There's no going back anyway. CHAUNCEY STREET, BROOKLYN. NY. A knock at the door. ALEX lets our a deep sigh and places her phone down on the table; she opens the door. Her face is flush. Hey. Hey. [A mysterious man] lets himself in. Did you talk to her. Yeah. Is she still in New York. Yeah. She's still in New York. Brooklyn? I don't know. ‘You don't know' I don't know. —but she's here. In the city? Yeah! Okay. [the mysterious man] sets a stuffed white envelope on the table] Here. Wun Jimerlilly Fallerlallonms Oo00h. TW0 Jimmerlilly Fallerlallonms *GASP* WhT! TW0 JiMmeRLiLly FaLleRlaLloNms?!? Jyus! JYES. —nerr. My god. Yea captain. S/he speaks perfect Skrillex. 3/10 Room 208 2:30 pm I just want to be okay again I just want to live in LA again I just want to play again No Vacancy, No Vacation, No veneration or compensation for commissioner; No doctors for the patients A saint, But seeking minimum wage And simple certain stakes I got on the wrong train And still ended up in the right place Long nights make for Nice days I carried a distinct memory of this day, and so there had to have been something important about it— least I thought, or perhaps even hoped, that there was maybe something good and special just around the corner, as it had been hard and bad for so long, that in the very least I knew that it couldn't get worse-that I had somehow hit rock bottom again so quickly that it was indeed possible that I would spring up just as quickly, which I realized was a brighter outlook than I had even expected at best, and a start at most. While inwardly I was devastated, I was at least able to suffice a calm facade, which Luke had commended me on, despite his various other psychological tricks and quips, as it seemed everything had been a test with him—but then, nearly everything was a puzzle or a challenge, not that I minded—but the latest installation of superfluous hazing, which was (at least by google'ssuggestion, somewhat even seemingly supernatural had been a first handed look into the srufff of nightmares, white america's predominately black non-solution to the housing crisis which they had caused, and furthermore, a test in my own mental strength and wits—a reminder of every reason and more why I had left my previous life behind—it's trials neither worth writing about, nor remembering, however, it's effects a tragic scar on my psyche, however unremarkable the result. It only hurts to think about a lot, And so I don't, It's just a rock, really Going on a walk through Central Park ia not an option. Neither a mother, nor father, Nor mirror; Here I'm sitting at the harbor Nonchalant as God would ever want to be And conscious, yet unconscious— Nodding off again, I'll know it when it's time to talk again (To talk again) Pause What. Remember what AlwaZ said. Uh. ALWAZ AKA -THE ILLUMINATI You're a genius. SUPACREE Yeah, thank you. ALWAZ Listen, you're famous—! SUPACREE When is this? New York City is probably absolutely the worst place in the world to be, if you don't want to be there. Hands down worst place ever. And I mean—I was stranded in Mexico with no money for a couple months, and that shit sucked—but it wasn't like “kill yourself” bad. New York gets craaaazy. I was on the subway and this dude was just listening to that one The Weekend Song over and over on loop. The funny thing is. I don't remember which The Weekend song it was— but you play any one of his songs on loop and you tell me if that man is okay. He's not okay. I heard it's a chemical imbalance Whatever that is Is has to be Obviously, Cause they said it is, Cause they said so, So it is, isn't it? Sunni bLums pDisxses It's my favorite troll doll! Ah! Real monsters! I don't use Travelocity!/ Get back on my front lawn, motherfucker! Hey, it's Daniel Dipshit! Who the fuck is “Daniel?” You're Daniel, Dipshit! Why “Daniel?!” Dipshit—why not just Cause you don't even know your own name, Dipshit! [sprays with hose] WTF ARE YOU DOING I don't like licking the sour stuff off, I just want the sweet stuff! Oh, do you? Don't he gay. DJ Magic Kenny Where's Dillon Francis. He's not here. Where is he? I fired him. You what? I fired him. When?! This morning. You can't fire him! He's half the show! Just—one date. No. Sunni, come on. No! I'm not dating Diplo. What?! Why not?! He's too pretty. PUT A SHIRT ON. GODDAMNIT, SHUT UP. OWSLA places a TRUTH SPELL on SUNNI BLU/ which results in her being outed as SUPACREE. Nooooo. YES. TABLOIDS Mwahaha PAPARAZZI MWAHAHAHAJA TMZ MWAHAHAHAJA ILUMINATI -_- Great. You pissed off the Illuminati. I am the Illuminati. Now we're fucked. What don't you get about this: I am in control. [a cannonball flies through the window] I told you. Holy shit, what is THIS. It's a cannonball. A fucking cannonball! W0W. It says something. What's it say The cannonball reads: “You're so fucked.” “You're so fucked. W0W. Nice. I told you. No, I told you. “I'm in control!” I write in canon! It's a stretch, but it'll do! Keep up. You wrote this? I wrote everything! The next level Timmy's Turn up When I talk Hi, I'm Ū Offenbach 4U Heart over height, Head over heels, Mind over matter— I don't want to fight you. We have to. No, we don't. We're going to. But we've already— That doesn't matter. It matters to me. I am you. Then it matters to you! That's—not what I meant. C'esme't. I'm gonna go. You're leaving?! The quarrel's tomorrow. No it isn't! Yes it is. Call it off! No. Its tradition. But— ? [I love you] Goodnight. She heads for the door. [I love you too.] Unspoken words In the hurt of the war of the worlds You come first, Then unearth I become in the force of the storm Where were you, before this? What I was, I assure you was unsure, at first Now, it's just Another record So it works forward, and back Of course Back—and forth… Yes. This is marvelous. Well, it's yoursz I can't take this. You're not taking it; I'm giving it to you. What for? For traveling, of course! But I'm not going anywhere… What is this. It's a DJ. Oh, wow, nice. Yeah. Where'd you get it? I found it. Oh, wow. Yeah. Where? It was just—on the ground. On the ground? Yeah. Oh. MORPHEUS You know what? What is it? MORPHEUS …nevermind. AMY POHLER …I think this is a bad idea. TINA FEY It's a good idea. AMY POHLER I think it's bad. TINA FEY Have another shot. [she does] AMY POE—whatever It's a really bad idea! TINA FEY OKAY, LETS GO. Pan out to JIMMY FALLON standing awkwardly in silence in the shadows behind them. JIMMY FALLON I'm coming too. OH MY GOD. what the [BLEEP] How long have you been standing there. The whole time. No you haven't No you weren't. You're so—WEIRD. I'm coming with you. No NO. Yes. I'm coming with you. No— —wait— No! Jimmy, do you think this is a good idea, or a bad idea. [beat] It's the worst idea ever. HA! NO—it's GOOD. I TOLD YOU. You're not coming. He's coming. With. (hiccups) us. Yes. UGH *takes shot* UGH [BLEEP] It's the worst idea ever— NO UT ISNT. —it's a really bad idea. You need me. Ew. We need him therr—uhh Yes. [beat] Fine. YES. But don't say anything C'ESME'T Petrutheio… PETRUTHEIO You should go. If you are what you eat Then I'm nuts and bananas but sometimes I'm even a hero But that's neither here nore there, no. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child DLAXKBACK: SEASON 5 June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍♀️ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier” Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh. Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. I needed it to be a leap year, but it wasn't , and although I was expecting a small amount of money on the 3rd, I had to depart lik/ on the first, and though I had roughly 4 days remaining in my stay, it had started to feel like the beginning of the end, from about the night before and into the morning, waking up sick and sore and most of all tired and hungry A Free Vegan is a term used to describe a person who practices veganism, but still may moderately consume some animal products sparingly, such as collagen, honey, or other products medicinally or as supplementary nutrition; this Vegan might wear leather, use products or materials derived from animals for convenience, functionality, or economic reasons Girl with the tattoo Miguel “A Walkthough Central Park” I'm on a regimen of vitavitavitamin, I need some anescrptoc and some aneceptomen Medicine man and an antiseptic A bed to rest my head I, some bread Some peanut butter for my jelly {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

That first drop gave me herpes. yeah, well, that's supacree for ya. I met you at The Ninth Gate… I don't think this is a good idea. It's a fine idea. I really don't know. Then shut up. Obsession, Lust— Thr delicate balance between Genius, and Madman What do I look like to you? …a movie star. What is that? A movie star. I didn't hear you! A movie star! I wanted to tell you this in person… If you go any further, there's no going backs There's no going back anyway. Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child DLAXKBACK: SEASON 5 June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍♀️ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier” Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh. Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. I needed it to be a leap year, but it wasn't , and although I was expecting a small amount of money on the 3rd, I had to depart lik/ on the first, and though I had roughly 4 days remaining in my stay, it had started to feel like the beginning of the end, from about the night before and into the morning, waking up sick and sore and most of all tired and hungry A Free Vegan is a term used to describe a person who practices veganism, but still may moderately consume some animal products sparingly, such as collagen, honey, or other products medicinally or as supplementary nutrition; this Vegan might wear leather, use products or materials derived from animals for convenience, functionality, or economic reasons Girl with the tattoo Miguel “A Walkthough Central Park” I'm on a regimen of vitavitavitamin, I need some anescrptoc and some aneceptomen Medicine man and an antiseptic A bed to rest my head I, some bread Some peanut butter for my jelly {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

The first drop was so bad, it gave me herpes. yeah, that's S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E. I met you at The Ninth Gate… I don't think this is a good idea. It's a fine idea. I really don't know. Then shut up. Obsession, Lust— Thr delicate balance between Genius, and Madman What do I look like to you? …a movie star. What is that? A movie star. I didn't hear you! A movie star! I wanted to tell you this in person… If you go any further, there's no going backs There's no going back anyway. CHAUNCEY STREET, BROOKLYN. NY. A knock at the door. ALEX lets our a deep sigh and places her phone down on the table; she opens the door. Her face is flush. Hey. Hey. [A mysterious man] lets himself in. Did you talk to her. Yeah. Is she still in New York. Yeah. She's still in New York. Brooklyn? I don't know. ‘You don't know' I don't know. —but she's here. In the city? Yeah! Okay. [the mysterious man] sets a stuffed white envelope on the table] Here. Wun Jimerlilly Fallerlallonms Oo00h. TW0 Jimmerlilly Fallerlallonms *GASP* WhT! TW0 JiMmeRLiLly FaLleRlaLloNms?!? Jyus! JYES. —nerr. My god. Yea captain. S/he speaks perfect Skrillex. 3/10 Room 208 2:30 pm I just want to be okay again I just want to live in LA again I just want to play again No Vacancy, No Vacation, No veneration or compensation for commissioner; No doctors for the patients A saint, But seeking minimum wage And simple certain stakes I got on the wrong train And still ended up in the right place Long nights make for Nice days I carried a distinct memory of this day, and so there had to have been something important about it— least I thought, or perhaps even hoped, that there was maybe something good and special just around the corner, as it had been hard and bad for so long, that in the very least I knew that it couldn't get worse-that I had somehow hit rock bottom again so quickly that it was indeed possible that I would spring up just as quickly, which I realized was a brighter outlook than I had even expected at best, and a start at most. While inwardly I was devastated, I was at least able to suffice a calm facade, which Luke had commended me on, despite his various other psychological tricks and quips, as it seemed everything had been a test with him—but then, nearly everything was a puzzle or a challenge, not that I minded—but the latest installation of superfluous hazing, which was (at least by google'ssuggestion, somewhat even seemingly supernatural had been a first handed look into the srufff of nightmares, white america's predominately black non-solution to the housing crisis which they had caused, and furthermore, a test in my own mental strength and wits—a reminder of every reason and more why I had left my previous life behind—it's trials neither worth writing about, nor remembering, however, it's effects a tragic scar on my psyche, however unremarkable the result. It only hurts to think about a lot, And so I don't, It's just a rock, really Going on a walk through Central Park ia not an option. Neither a mother, nor father, Nor mirror; Here I'm sitting at the harbor Nonchalant as God would ever want to be And conscious, yet unconscious— Nodding off again, I'll know it when it's time to talk again (To talk again) Pause What. Remember what AlwaZ said. Uh. ALWAZ AKA -THE ILLUMINATI You're a genius. SUPACREE Yeah, thank you. ALWAZ Listen, you're famous—! SUPACREE When is this? New York City is probably absolutely the worst place in the world to be, if you don't want to be there. Hands down worst place ever. And I mean—I was stranded in Mexico with no money for a couple months, and that shit sucked—but it wasn't like “kill yourself” bad. New York gets craaaazy. I was on the subway and this dude was just listening to that one The Weekend Song over and over on loop. The funny thing is. I don't remember which The Weekend song it was— but you play any one of his songs on loop and you tell me if that man is okay. He's not okay. I heard it's a chemical imbalance Whatever that is Is has to be Obviously, Cause they said it is, Cause they said so, So it is, isn't it? Sunni bLums pDisxses It's my favorite troll doll! Ah! Real monsters! I don't use Travelocity!/ Get back on my front lawn, motherfucker! Hey, it's Daniel Dipshit! Who the fuck is “Daniel?” You're Daniel, Dipshit! Why “Daniel?!” Dipshit—why not just Cause you don't even know your own name, Dipshit! [sprays with hose] WTF ARE YOU DOING I don't like licking the sour stuff off, I just want the sweet stuff! Oh, do you? Don't he gay. DJ Magic Kenny Where's Dillon Francis. He's not here. Where is he? I fired him. You what? I fired him. When?! This morning. You can't fire him! He's half the show! Just—one date. No. Sunni, come on. No! I'm not dating Diplo. What?! Why not?! He's too pretty. PUT A SHIRT ON. GODDAMNIT, SHUT UP. OWSLA places a TRUTH SPELL on SUNNI BLU/ which results in her being outed as SUPACREE. Nooooo. YES. TABLOIDS Mwahaha PAPARAZZI MWAHAHAHAJA TMZ MWAHAHAHAJA ILUMINATI -_- Great. You pissed off the Illuminati. I am the Illuminati. Now we're fucked. What don't you get about this: I am in control. [a cannonball flies through the window] I told you. Holy shit, what is THIS. It's a cannonball. A fucking cannonball! W0W. It says something. What's it say The cannonball reads: “You're so fucked.” “You're so fucked. W0W. Nice. I told you. No, I told you. “I'm in control!” I write in canon! It's a stretch, but it'll do! Keep up. You wrote this? I wrote everything! The next level Timmy's Turn up When I talk Hi, I'm Ū Offenbach 4U Heart over height, Head over heels, Mind over matter— I don't want to fight you. We have to. No, we don't. We're going to. But we've already— That doesn't matter. It matters to me. I am you. Then it matters to you! That's—not what I meant. C'esme't. I'm gonna go. You're leaving?! The quarrel's tomorrow. No it isn't! Yes it is. Call it off! No. Its tradition. But— ? [I love you] Goodnight. She heads for the door. [I love you too.] Unspoken words In the hurt of the war of the worlds You come first, Then unearth I become in the force of the storm Where were you, before this? What I was, I assure you was unsure, at first Now, it's just Another record So it works forward, and back Of course Back—and forth… Yes. This is marvelous. Well, it's yoursz I can't take this. You're not taking it; I'm giving it to you. What for? For traveling, of course! But I'm not going anywhere… What is this. It's a DJ. Oh, wow, nice. Yeah. Where'd you get it? I found it. Oh, wow. Yeah. Where? It was just—on the ground. On the ground? Yeah. Oh. MORPHEUS You know what? What is it? MORPHEUS …nevermind. AMY POHLER …I think this is a bad idea. TINA FEY It's a good idea. AMY POHLER I think it's bad. TINA FEY Have another shot. [she does] AMY POE—whatever It's a really bad idea! TINA FEY OKAY, LETS GO. Pan out to JIMMY FALLON standing awkwardly in silence in the shadows behind them. JIMMY FALLON I'm coming too. OH MY GOD. what the [BLEEP] How long have you been standing there. The whole time. No you haven't No you weren't. You're so—WEIRD. I'm coming with you. No NO. Yes. I'm coming with you. No— —wait— No! Jimmy, do you think this is a good idea, or a bad idea. [beat] It's the worst idea ever. HA! NO—it's GOOD. I TOLD YOU. You're not coming. He's coming. With. (hiccups) us. Yes. UGH *takes shot* UGH [BLEEP] It's the worst idea ever— NO UT ISNT. —it's a really bad idea. You need me. Ew. We need him therr—uhh Yes. [beat] Fine. YES. But don't say anything C'ESME'T Petrutheio… PETRUTHEIO You should go. If you are what you eat Then I'm nuts and bananas but sometimes I'm even a hero But that's neither here nore there, no. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U. Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child DLAXKBACK: SEASON 5 June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍♀️ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier” Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh. Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ ⓒ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. I needed it to be a leap year, but it wasn't , and although I was expecting a small amount of money on the 3rd, I had to depart lik/ on the first, and though I had roughly 4 days remaining in my stay, it had started to feel like the beginning of the end, from about the night before and into the morning, waking up sick and sore and most of all tired and hungry A Free Vegan is a term used to describe a person who practices veganism, but still may moderately consume some animal products sparingly, such as collagen, honey, or other products medicinally or as supplementary nutrition; this Vegan might wear leather, use products or materials derived from animals for convenience, functionality, or economic reasons Girl with the tattoo Miguel “A Walkthough Central Park” I'm on a regimen of vitavitavitamin, I need some anescrptoc and some aneceptomen Medicine man and an antiseptic A bed to rest my head I, some bread Some peanut butter for my jelly {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Opening Song:  Joy of the Lord by Chris Llewellyn, Ed Cash, and Gareth Gilkeson Lyrics: Though the tears may fall my song will rise My song will rise to You Though my heart may fail my song will rise My song will rise to You While there's breath in my lungs I will praise You Lord   In the dead of night I'll lift my eyes I'll lift my eyes to You When the waters rise I'll lift my eyes I'll lift my eyes to You While there's hope in this heart I will praise You Lord   The joy of the Lord is my strength The joy of the Lord is my strength In the darkness I'll dance In the shadows I'll sing The joy of the Lord is my strength   When I cannot see You with my eyes Let faith arise to You When I cannot feel Your hand in mine Let faith arise to You God of mercy and love I will praise You Lord   Oh You shine with glory Lord of light I feel alive with You In Your presence now I come alive I am alive with You There is strength when I say I will praise You Lord   When sorrow comes my way You are the shield around me Always You remain My courage in the fight I hear You call my name Jesus I am coming Walking on the waves reaching for Your light Passage:  Nehemiah 8:1-12  And all the people gathered as one man into the square before the Water Gate. And they told Ezra the scribe to bring the Book of the Law of Moses that the Lord had commanded Israel. 2 So Ezra the priest brought the Law before the assembly, both men and women and all who could understand what they heard, on the first day of the seventh month. 3 And he read from it facing the square before the Water Gate from early morning until midday, in the presence of the men and the women and those who could understand. And the ears of all the people were attentive to the Book of the Law. 4 And Ezra the scribe stood on a wooden platform that they had made for the purpose. And beside him stood Mattithiah, Shema, Anaiah, Uriah, Hilkiah, and Maaseiah on his right hand, and Pedaiah, Mishael, Malchijah, Hashum, Hashbaddanah, Zechariah, and Meshullam on his left hand. 5 And Ezra opened the book in the sight of all the people, for he was above all the people, and as he opened it all the people stood. 6 And Ezra blessed the Lord, the great God, and all the people answered, “Amen, Amen,” lifting up their hands. And they bowed their heads and worshiped the Lord with their faces to the ground. 7 Also Jeshua, Bani, Sherebiah, Jamin, Akkub, Shabbethai, Hodiah, Maaseiah, Kelita, Azariah, Jozabad, Hanan, Pelaiah, the Levites,[a] helped the people to understand the Law, while the people remained in their places. 8 They read from the book, from the Law of God, clearly,[b] and they gave the sense, so that the people understood the reading. This Day Is Holy 9 And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who taught the people said to all the people, “This day is holy to the Lord your God; do not mourn or weep.” For all the people wept as they heard the words of the Law. 10 Then he said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” 11 So the Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be quiet, for this day is holy; do not be grieved.” 12 And all the people went their way to eat and drink and to send portions and to make great rejoicing, because they had understood the words that were declared to them. Musical Reflection: Harp meditation No. 1 by Gretchen Kirby Reflection Notes:  A repetitive pattern in the left hand provides a meditative foundation while the right hand experiments with ascending lines. The tune is meant to be joyful and evoke delight.  Prayer: This is another day, O Lord. I know not what it will bring forth, but make me ready, Lord, for whatever it may be. If I am to stand up, help me to stand bravely. If I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly. If I am to lie low, help me to do it patiently. And if I am to do nothing, let me do it gallantly. Make these words more than words, and give me the Spirit of Jesus. Amen.

I want to listen to Drake bell's albums, but I probably should do it in airplane mode. Oh yeah, go wayyy off line for that. Way, way, way off; I can't wait till my day off, Dang What was I doing? Oh yeah, writing a song again. Again. Yeah. It goes like: Don't turn your back on me! Show me your misery I am the pretender You will not watch me Fiend for a friend, or Are you my only— Are you that lonely? Is it just like this? What was that look? Mistook me for a hypocrite, woah! Nothing needed to be said. And nothing wanted to be heard, And what? You hurt me, there The world is just obsurd, And worse, and worse On the surface Oh You said You keep Secrets But just Keep on Repeating and repeating things At meetings, man You need me, man? I'm just another planet; So prepare to land, A phantom, at the hands of —? Standing at the gate; I hate you— Did you get what you needed, at least? Did you get to— Where you were going? Don't just toss me to the side, Like one of your rag dolls: I just got the call— I want all— I need all of it. I picked up the call I want all— I need all of it All of it All of it. Nothing needed to be said. And nothing wanted to be heard, And what? You hurt me, there The world is just obsurd, And worse, and worse On the surface Oh And— i just got the call— I want all— I need all of it. I picked up the call I want all— I need all of it All of it All of it. Whyyy did you do this? I didn't meant to. Whyyy would you say this? Uh. Please. At least I, Got myself out of that rut, I'm The only thing good for a laugh, Anymore, it's Awful, sometimes, And awesome, sometimes; But I wish I could be Sonny Moore. Ohh-la-la Is this a song? Uh. It would be, But it could be, A passion-struck catastrophe, Or is that in your dictionary yet? Encyclopedia, perhaps— I take my media at glance, a grain of salt, and then a glass of water; What's you order? Plants, Is that exactly as you planned, Or placed the bet, Or better yet, Your sweater's burning in my bed (Or in my pants) Or in my head, In dreams, Instead I'm better wet than enter Anyother Weather than the forecast has Implanted on the channel blasters Yes, It is just what I had predicted. Then, You missed it. “You missed it” You missed it, Oh, You missed it Better off dead. Then, You missed it You missed it, man You missed it Oh, You missed it Just — Let it pass. (Like the weather did.) Now, Just as I predicted; A whithered, wilted Wildflower, Dancing in my eyes Inside the tower, While I cowered under, Struck with love, And nothing else thereafter; That was the plan, yea? For Ever After For Ever After For Ever After Yes, It is just what I had predicted. Then, You missed it. “You missed it” You missed it, Oh, You missed it Better off dead. Than without love — You missed it You missed it, man You missed it Oh, You missed it That's two. Are we going anywhere with this? Home, I hope. (Wherever that is.) … No more songs? …no, that's it. Are you sure ? … … . . . No. Proceed. I Uh, Didn't even want to be a writer, But in spite of, the dire Uh— What was that? Uh, Nothin' Uh— Sounded like rap. Yeah, Uh, — Nah. No, it's not rap? Uh, Yeah, It's not rap, I promise, I'm not a rapper, I just happen to be snappy at it, And my syntax matches exactly At the pattern that I blabber in, At random as i'm slanderin' Vocabulary — acronyms n' antonyms Like Eminem. … … Proceed. Prepare to fast again Prepare at least half of a set list And dance to this; Shazam is set to automatic For the tracks I might have managed to forget It isn't mischief managed Panic attack after panic attack I'm an asshole, at best But I'm better off dead, In my head Insomniac's not racist — They just don't want to put up with my shit! Another artist on the verge of politics, ambition On detox and in recovery For digging Skrillex. Fuck this. Yep. Hit the decks Hit the decks Just collect, All my checks And then get On this jet— Thank U, Next, Thank U, Next {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

I want to listen to Drake bell's albums, but I probably should do it in airplane mode. Oh yeah, go wayyy off line for that. Way, way, way off; I can't wait till my day off, Dang What was I doing? Oh yeah, writing a song again. Again. Yeah. It goes like: Don't turn your back on me! Show me your misery I am the pretender You will not watch me Fiend for a friend, or Are you my only— Are you that lonely? Is it just like this? What was that look? Mistook me for a hypocrite, woah! Nothing needed to be said. And nothing wanted to be heard, And what? You hurt me, there The world is just obsurd, And worse, and worse On the surface Oh You said You keep Secrets But just Keep on Repeating and repeating things At meetings, man You need me, man? I'm just another planet; So prepare to land, A phantom, at the hands of —? Standing at the gate; I hate you— Did you get what you needed, at least? Did you get to— Where you were going? Don't just toss me to the side, Like one of your rag dolls: I just got the call— I want all— I need all of it. I picked up the call I want all— I need all of it All of it All of it. Nothing needed to be said. And nothing wanted to be heard, And what? You hurt me, there The world is just obsurd, And worse, and worse On the surface Oh And— i just got the call— I want all— I need all of it. I picked up the call I want all— I need all of it All of it All of it. Whyyy did you do this? I didn't meant to. Whyyy would you say this? Uh. Please. At least I, Got myself out of that rut, I'm The only thing good for a laugh, Anymore, it's Awful, sometimes, And awesome, sometimes; But I wish I could be Sonny Moore. Ohh-la-la Is this a song? Uh. It would be, But it could be, A passion-struck catastrophe, Or is that in your dictionary yet? Encyclopedia, perhaps— I take my media at glance, a grain of salt, and then a glass of water; What's you order? Plants, Is that exactly as you planned, Or placed the bet, Or better yet, Your sweater's burning in my bed (Or in my pants) Or in my head, In dreams, Instead I'm better wet than enter Anyother Weather than the forecast has Implanted on the channel blasters Yes, It is just what I had predicted. Then, You missed it. “You missed it” You missed it, Oh, You missed it Better off dead. Then, You missed it You missed it, man You missed it Oh, You missed it Just — Let it pass. (Like the weather did.) Now, Just as I predicted; A whithered, wilted Wildflower, Dancing in my eyes Inside the tower, While I cowered under, Struck with love, And nothing else thereafter; That was the plan, yea? For Ever After For Ever After For Ever After Yes, It is just what I had predicted. Then, You missed it. “You missed it” You missed it, Oh, You missed it Better off dead. Than without love — You missed it You missed it, man You missed it Oh, You missed it That's two. Are we going anywhere with this? Home, I hope. (Wherever that is.) … No more songs? …no, that's it. Are you sure ? … … . . . No. Proceed. I Uh, Didn't even want to be a writer, But in spite of, the dire Uh— What was that? Uh, Nothin' Uh— Sounded like rap. Yeah, Uh, — Nah. No, it's not rap? Uh, Yeah, It's not rap, I promise, I'm not a rapper, I just happen to be snappy at it, And my syntax matches exactly At the pattern that I blabber in, At random as i'm slanderin' Vocabulary — acronyms n' antonyms Like Eminem. … … Proceed. Prepare to fast again Prepare at least half of a set list And dance to this; Shazam is set to automatic For the tracks I might have managed to forget It isn't mischief managed Panic attack after panic attack I'm an asshole, at best But I'm better off dead, In my head Insomniac's not racist — They just don't want to put up with my shit! Another artist on the verge of politics, ambition On detox and in recovery For digging Skrillex. Fuck this. Yep. Hit the decks Hit the decks Just collect, All my checks And then get On this jet— Thank U, Next, Thank U, Next {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

I want to listen to Drake bell's albums, but I probably should do it in airplane mode. Oh yeah, go wayyy off line for that. Way, way, way off; I can't wait till my day off, Dang What was I doing? Oh yeah, writing a song again. Again. Yeah. It goes like: Don't turn your back on me! Show me your misery I am the pretender You will not watch me Fiend for a friend, or Are you my only— Are you that lonely? Is it just like this? What was that look? Mistook me for a hypocrite, woah! Nothing needed to be said. And nothing wanted to be heard, And what? You hurt me, there The world is just obsurd, And worse, and worse On the surface Oh You said You keep Secrets But just Keep on Repeating and repeating things At meetings, man You need me, man? I'm just another planet; So prepare to land, A phantom, at the hands of —? Standing at the gate; I hate you— Did you get what you needed, at least? Did you get to— Where you were going? Don't just toss me to the side, Like one of your rag dolls: I just got the call— I want all— I need all of it. I picked up the call I want all— I need all of it All of it All of it. Nothing needed to be said. And nothing wanted to be heard, And what? You hurt me, there The world is just obsurd, And worse, and worse On the surface Oh And— i just got the call— I want all— I need all of it. I picked up the call I want all— I need all of it All of it All of it. Whyyy did you do this? I didn't meant to. Whyyy would you say this? Uh. Please. At least I, Got myself out of that rut, I'm The only thing good for a laugh, Anymore, it's Awful, sometimes, And awesome, sometimes; But I wish I could be Sonny Moore. Ohh-la-la Is this a song? Uh. It would be, But it could be, A passion-struck catastrophe, Or is that in your dictionary yet? Encyclopedia, perhaps— I take my media at glance, a grain of salt, and then a glass of water; What's you order? Plants, Is that exactly as you planned, Or placed the bet, Or better yet, Your sweater's burning in my bed (Or in my pants) Or in my head, In dreams, Instead I'm better wet than enter Anyother Weather than the forecast has Implanted on the channel blasters Yes, It is just what I had predicted. Then, You missed it. “You missed it” You missed it, Oh, You missed it Better off dead. Then, You missed it You missed it, man You missed it Oh, You missed it Just — Let it pass. (Like the weather did.) Now, Just as I predicted; A whithered, wilted Wildflower, Dancing in my eyes Inside the tower, While I cowered under, Struck with love, And nothing else thereafter; That was the plan, yea? For Ever After For Ever After For Ever After Yes, It is just what I had predicted. Then, You missed it. “You missed it” You missed it, Oh, You missed it Better off dead. Than without love — You missed it You missed it, man You missed it Oh, You missed it That's two. Are we going anywhere with this? Home, I hope. (Wherever that is.) … No more songs? …no, that's it. Are you sure ? … … . . . No. Proceed. I Uh, Didn't even want to be a writer, But in spite of, the dire Uh— What was that? Uh, Nothin' Uh— Sounded like rap. Yeah, Uh, — Nah. No, it's not rap? Uh, Yeah, It's not rap, I promise, I'm not a rapper, I just happen to be snappy at it, And my syntax matches exactly At the pattern that I blabber in, At random as i'm slanderin' Vocabulary — acronyms n' antonyms Like Eminem. … … Proceed. Prepare to fast again Prepare at least half of a set list And dance to this; Shazam is set to automatic For the tracks I might have managed to forget It isn't mischief managed Panic attack after panic attack I'm an asshole, at best But I'm better off dead, In my head Insomniac's not racist — They just don't want to put up with my shit! Another artist on the verge of politics, ambition On detox and in recovery For digging Skrillex. Fuck this. Yep. Hit the decks Hit the decks Just collect, All my checks And then get On this jet— Thank U, Next, Thank U, Next {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

I want to listen to Drake bell's albums, but I probably should do it in airplane mode. Oh yeah, go wayyy off line for that. Way, way, way off; I can't wait till my day off, Dang What was I doing? Oh yeah, writing a song again. Again. Yeah. It goes like: Don't turn your back on me! Show me your misery I am the pretender You will not watch me Fiend for a friend, or Are you my only— Are you that lonely? Is it just like this? What was that look? Mistook me for a hypocrite, woah! Nothing needed to be said. And nothing wanted to be heard, And what? You hurt me, there The world is just obsurd, And worse, and worse On the surface Oh You said You keep Secrets But just Keep on Repeating and repeating things At meetings, man You need me, man? I'm just another planet; So prepare to land, A phantom, at the hands of —? Standing at the gate; I hate you— Did you get what you needed, at least? Did you get to— Where you were going? Don't just toss me to the side, Like one of your rag dolls: I just got the call— I want all— I need all of it. I picked up the call I want all— I need all of it All of it All of it. Nothing needed to be said. And nothing wanted to be heard, And what? You hurt me, there The world is just obsurd, And worse, and worse On the surface Oh And— i just got the call— I want all— I need all of it. I picked up the call I want all— I need all of it All of it All of it. Whyyy did you do this? I didn't meant to. Whyyy would you say this? Uh. Please. At least I, Got myself out of that rut, I'm The only thing good for a laugh, Anymore, it's Awful, sometimes, And awesome, sometimes; But I wish I could be Sonny Moore. Ohh-la-la Is this a song? Uh. It would be, But it could be, A passion-struck catastrophe, Or is that in your dictionary yet? Encyclopedia, perhaps— I take my media at glance, a grain of salt, and then a glass of water; What's you order? Plants, Is that exactly as you planned, Or placed the bet, Or better yet, Your sweater's burning in my bed (Or in my pants) Or in my head, In dreams, Instead I'm better wet than enter Anyother Weather than the forecast has Implanted on the channel blasters Yes, It is just what I had predicted. Then, You missed it. “You missed it” You missed it, Oh, You missed it Better off dead. Then, You missed it You missed it, man You missed it Oh, You missed it Just — Let it pass. (Like the weather did.) Now, Just as I predicted; A whithered, wilted Wildflower, Dancing in my eyes Inside the tower, While I cowered under, Struck with love, And nothing else thereafter; That was the plan, yea? For Ever After For Ever After For Ever After Yes, It is just what I had predicted. Then, You missed it. “You missed it” You missed it, Oh, You missed it Better off dead. Than without love — You missed it You missed it, man You missed it Oh, You missed it That's two. Are we going anywhere with this? Home, I hope. (Wherever that is.) … No more songs? …no, that's it. Are you sure ? … … . . . No. Proceed. I Uh, Didn't even want to be a writer, But in spite of, the dire Uh— What was that? Uh, Nothin' Uh— Sounded like rap. Yeah, Uh, — Nah. No, it's not rap? Uh, Yeah, It's not rap, I promise, I'm not a rapper, I just happen to be snappy at it, And my syntax matches exactly At the pattern that I blabber in, At random as i'm slanderin' Vocabulary — acronyms n' antonyms Like Eminem. … … Proceed. Prepare to fast again Prepare at least half of a set list And dance to this; Shazam is set to automatic For the tracks I might have managed to forget It isn't mischief managed Panic attack after panic attack I'm an asshole, at best But I'm better off dead, In my head Insomniac's not racist — They just don't want to put up with my shit! Another artist on the verge of politics, ambition On detox and in recovery For digging Skrillex. Fuck this. Yep. Hit the decks Hit the decks Just collect, All my checks And then get On this jet— Thank U, Next, Thank U, Next {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The Black Knight Before Christmas by  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked away, to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year,With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!”His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there.When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry.Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!”It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!”And To All A Good Lay by  foehn. Recited by Connor.'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You'd already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair.The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown.He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass.Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?”Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, And taking the pot, knocking over my rum, I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed, to think that this Christmas, he well could have died; And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping, I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping.When I recognized the odd look on his face, I reminded him, he had invaded our space. “And now come to think of it, where are the toys? “Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.”I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket, to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.) He walked to the chimney, and reaching within, unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din.“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?” He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,” and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong, he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong.He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree, and turning he gave me, a new DVD; there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case, and one of them seemed to be wearing your face!He gave a big wink, walked right out the door. I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor. where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare. beneath the big blanket, now covering you there.I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side; you were already giving, your new dong a ride! And what had gone limp from our rude interruption, now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention.I reached for your free hand and guided it where; it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air. and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!”Her Night Before Christmasby Ug. Recited by NatashaTwas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. No creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were worn by the woman with care, She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair.The woman who should have been snug in her bed, the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head. And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor, so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger. To her door he did wander, and gave it a push, Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.He spied a light on, in a room and did wander. looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder. Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair. This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair.He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake, but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake. He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle. which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle.The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver. decided to cup one, still she did not shiver. Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress. and finding her nipple, an interesting quest.He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh. and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high. Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin, to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside. and with his free hand, then parted her thighs. And moving between, her legs he did shove. Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair, His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair. and into her pussy, his dick did so slam. then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram.He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved. Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove. She still was asleep, unaware of the world, so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.He pushed her legs back, up over her head, And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed. He started to grunt, whilst having his fun. Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.He held himself still, til catching his breath, and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left. He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress, and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door, before looking round, til he finally swore. “Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”, then crept from the house, and left her alone.He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so, soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow. But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light, “Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!”T'was The Night Before Christmasby LostNlove. Recited by Emily.It was the night before Christmas; And all through my house. The Candles were glowing; And I was quite soused.The fire was warm; And so was the brandy. As I wrapped up the gifts; I was feeling quite randy.I sat in my nightie; Short silky and white. Hoping when Santa showed; He'd enjoy such a sight.Then top of the stairs; I heard a deep groan. It sounded familiar; I let out a moan.I turned round to see; And what do you know. There stood my Santa; His shaft in a bow.I saw that red ribbon; Round that cock so hard. And jumped off the couch; Without self regard.When he saw I was tipsy; He laughed and came down. I untied that bow; And wrapped my lips ‘round.Oh, what a present! I'm one happy wench. I sucked it then faster; my nipples he pinched.I rose to my feet; L and licking my lips. Then, held mistletoe; while he gave me a kiss.We moved to the couch Where he laid me back. And thrust in his cock; All the way to his sack.When my hips rocked he said; Oh You like that I see.” I said, “Yes all though better; On the floor on my knees.”“No problem my dear; Anything that you wish. But first come here; Give me one more kiss.”I kissed his lips softly; Then I got on the floor. He teased so I begged; “Santa please give me more.”He lifted my nightie; Up over my ass. As he gave it a slap; I let out a loud gasp.“I've watched you this year; You're so naughty but nice.” He shoved it in deep saying, “Now, let's do this twice!”I slammed back against him, As he slammed into me. I didn't yet notice; Rug burns on my knees.I moaned and I came; my juices did flow. he pounded yet faster; deep as he could go.I came then again; and convulsed quite a bit. My fingers pressed hard; On my swollen clit.As I came I could feel; His dick start to swell. He smacked on my ass; And I let out a yell.“For when you were naughty, that will suffice. and now here is something; For when you've been nice.”He grabbed my hips tight, And his cock shot a pop. I soon came again; begging please do not stop.His dick throbbed and squirted; I thought I might scream. Oh the wonderful pleasure; Of Santa's hot cream!We collapsed on the floor, His hands in my hair, Then asleep by the fire, Without any care.As he was leaving; Before the sunlight. “Oh my darling; You're such a delight!”Twats The Night Before Christmasby  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas.Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block; Nothing was stirring, except for my cock. Her panties were hung by the chimney with care, I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.I was horny and naked all snug in my bed, While visions of big boobs danced in my head. With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck, I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.When out by the hearth there arose such a noise, It sounded like girls and could not be boys. Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude, We might have guests, I couldn't be rude.Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow And gave my firm cock a good reason to grow; When, what should appear through my old reading glasses, But eight college girls, and their really firm asses,With little shy giggles, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment they wanted my dick. I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing, But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing;“I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly! I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie! From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,  They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match, My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch; So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds, I was anxious to learn who would first give me head;And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick, The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick. Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits, While each girl behind her all played with her clit.My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch, Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch; A sack full of toys she brought for the girls, It was full of vibrators with one made of pearlsTheir eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry! Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry! The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor, They pleasured each other, but all wanted more.Each girl took a turn and came over to me, They mounted my cock by the light of the tree. Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast, My biggest concern was how long I would last.Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet, I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet. With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast, My wife let me know that she would be next.They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick, and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick. She lowered her pussy right onto my rod, We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad.Of all the pussies my wife's was the best, My cock was now tired and needed a rest. With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early, She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly.She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple, My smile was so big and showed off my dimple. She moved to their clits, and then one by one, Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.With evry girl limp and could take nothing more, They eventually dressed and went for the door. But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.”Tinder Christmas EveBy HarryDNewhouse Recited by AriaTwas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV. So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie. My kinky companion, was up for some fun. I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won.“Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone. No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone. I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick. I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick.There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back. It opens with ease, for you and your sack. I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty. Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!”A mince pie and brandy were left on the table. Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!' Well imagine my shock, when later that night. I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear. ‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear' I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free. His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride. Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side. My night dress was lifted, my body left bare. Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair.The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan. Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home. By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore. If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more. Many strikes later, he decided to rise. I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs. It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there. Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair.‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal. Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'. Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise. A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor. ‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!' His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered. ‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered.Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded. Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded. A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice. We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice.Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied. He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride. But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?' I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen. A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass. And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass. Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen. Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen. I yet was astonished, on tinder to find. ‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'. Thus read the message, from my kinky friend. That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End.NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: PARODYBy Eurika. Recited by RyanTwas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house' Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse. Her stockings were flung on the end of the table, But I was alone watching porn over cable.I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock. To shoot my load in an old ragged sock. From the upstairs, came a noise so gay, I jumped from my chair, seeking some randy play.I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door' to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor. For a moment, arose such a hot burning, Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning.A little old man, she was sucking his dick. He was dressed in all red, Oh God it's Saint Nick. His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red. My wife was below him, and giving him head.She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught. I wasn't upset though. I thought it was hot! He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice. She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.”I gave them a smile, and nodded my head, Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed. He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free, He turned her round so she, was looking at me.Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick, She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick. At first he was slow, til she started to cum. He then fucked her hard, until she was done.He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack, And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back. He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.” He pulled up his pants, and started to go.“Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave. It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.” Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy, we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy.We looked out the window, her pussy still wet. he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jet I squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight. She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“Kay's Christmas WorshipBy drive me wilder. Recited by ClaraTwas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed. Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head. Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked, Giving him love, as they waited for Nick.Teasing his tip, then taking him deep. Both knew that this night, they'd not get much sleep. Laid out on his back, and watching her bob. His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob.It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit. She loves this good man, and she'll never quit. Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view. Her loving like this, is giving and true.Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke. Sometimes very deep, without any choke. Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball. He's one lucky man, tonight he stands tall.Picking the pace up, and starting to moan. There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone. It's starting to build, there is no turning back. His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack.Rope after rope, His love juice explodes. And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads. And looking at him, with those loving eyes. His love for this woman, for her he would die.His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose, A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes. She closes her mouth, He knows what's to follow, One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows.She worships his cock, her love pole her toy. She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy. For now it's all over, his heart is in bliss. More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce.Donna's Night Before ChristmasBy Gaurd. Recited by Molly.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. My stockings seductively, laid on the chair, In vain hope he'd take me, right then and there.But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed. While visions of fucking, danced in my head. Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap! Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter's nap.When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter. Despite my attire, to the window I flew. Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view.In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show. I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below. And what to my wondering, eyes could I see. But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me.I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick. But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick. More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame. He whistled and shouted, and called out my name!“Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid. Come on my vixen, don't try to look stupid. Come down to the porch! And open the door! Now dash and come down! I want to see more!With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain, I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain. Despite my frustration, I got back to bed. ‘Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead!I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way. Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée. Then To my amazement, In trembling I found. The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound.He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe. Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show! Up I was bundled, and flung on my back. He open his suit, and showed me his sack.His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! It looked he'd already, been hard at the sherry! My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below. My best Christmas gift, he presented to show.The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby. Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby. But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head. Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk. He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side. He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide!His gift was so large, I nearly had cried. I came more than once, from his big woody ride. And then out he pulled, and over my belly. He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly!He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear. And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer. And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away. "Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

Tonight we're presenting some of our most beloved, humorous, and explicit poems about Christmas night intimacy. All are spoofs of the most classic Christmas poem of all time.Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories.The Black Knight Before Christmas by  The Mad Splatter, recited by Sonia.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse; My panties were hung on the bedpost with care, As my fingers parted my soft pussy hair.My pussy I fingered while all snug in my bed, As visions of huge cock danced in my head; My tit in one hand, and squeezing my nip, I moaned and I groaned, while my muff I did grip.When out on the lawn I heard a faint sound, I popped out my fingers from my wet and hot mound; And naked away, to the window I dashed, Tore open the drapes as the yard I did flash.The moon on my breasts was a sight to behold, Showed my smooth white skin and red nipples so bold. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But William, our black neighbor, who I've wanted all year,With an ass like a rock and muscles so thick, I knew in a moment I'd found my hard dick. While rubbing my pussy I suddenly came, As he whistled and shouted, and called me by name;“Now, Susan, you minx, you hot little vixen! It's time that you knew what you've always been missin'! From the tip of my rod to the sack of my balls I'll make you forget your drunk husband, Paul!”His words, they made my fantasies fly; And I slid both my hands between my wet thighs; And started to spread and rub my bare lips Now slick from the promise of a huge, black dick.And then, in a twinkling, I heard a loud knock, And knew at the front door awaited my cock. I threw on my robe and sped down the stairs, Hot for the stud who awaited me there.When I opened the door, he wasted not a moment; Entered the room and tore off my garment; And dropped to his knees, put his face in my snatch; My pussy lips burned, as hot as a match.The nub of my clit he held tight in his teeth, His fingers he rubbed on my slit just beneath; I squeezed my huge tits, nipples dark as a cherry, And his tongue was now stabbing my pussy so furry.Hearing my breathing had become quite quick He knew it was time to show me his prick. He pulled down his pants and exposed his firm belly, And his long, thick tool to which I said, “Oh, Billy!”It was chubby and plump, and hard in my hand; When it slid in my mouth, he barely could stand; So a chair I soon found and gave him a seat; I straddled his cock and ground on his meat.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled up my pussy, then came with a jerk, And sliding his finger inside of my ass, I came on his lap and slumped with a gasp.I slid off his cock, and fell to the floor, And licked the last drops of cum like a whore. And he finally exclaimed, with my mouth on his rod, “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good…oh, oh my God!!!”And To All A Good Lay by  foehn. Recited by Connor.'Twas the night before Christmas, and down in my drawers, my creature was telling you, “Get on all fours!” You'd already laid down your stockings with care, and come to molest me in my easy chair.The kids were all upstairs and sleeping at last, and now it was “us” time; not slow, but not fast, You unbuttoned my britches and pulled my pants down, and up sprang my elf with his little pink crown.He trembled and twitched with desire that was spastic, desiring our session of love to be drastic. Tenderly, gently caressing my shaft, you leaned close to kiss it, just driving me daft!By flickering firelight, its head disappeared, when all of a sudden, the thing that I feared, The most about Christmas Eve night came to pass, as Santa Claus plopped on our fire, on his ass.Our fire was extinguished and smoke filled the air, as Santa jumped up with, a burning derriere. I took in the view with a wilting erection, and wondered “What's wrong with our burglar detection?”Santa was hopping and howling in hurt; I pulled up your favorite plant from its dirt, And taking the pot, knocking over my rum, I ran up to rub, the wet soil on his bum.The fire was put out, and the poor old elf sighed, to think that this Christmas, he well could have died; And when he spied you, collapsed naked and weeping, I couldn't help think, that he shouldn't be peeping.When I recognized the odd look on his face, I reminded him, he had invaded our space. “And now come to think of it, where are the toys? “Surely you've brought some, for our little boys.”I walked to the closet and chose a warm blanket, to cover your butt with. (she wanted to spank it.) He walked to the chimney, and reaching within, unsnagged his bag, which fell down with a din.“Quiet” I said: “Must you make such a clatter?” He smiled just to say, “ that Nothing's the matter,” and then just to prove to me nothing was wrong, he tossed you a shiny new silicone dong.He stashed the boys' presents, all under the tree, and turning he gave me, a new DVD; there were pictures of hot sexy, things on the case, and one of them seemed to be wearing your face!He gave a big wink, walked right out the door. I locked it behind him and glanced at the floor. where you looked so peaceful, all comfy and bare. beneath the big blanket, now covering you there.I stripped off my clothes, laid down at your side; you were already giving, your new dong a ride! And what had gone limp from our rude interruption, now perked up quite nicely, and stood at attention.I reached for your free hand and guided it where; it could find my “north pole,” sticking out in the air. and I heard Santa shout, as he left on his sleigh, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good lay!”Her Night Before Christmasby Ug. Recited by NatashaTwas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. No creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were worn by the woman with care, She'd too much to drink, passed out on the chair.The woman who should have been snug in her bed, the whiskey and vodka, gone straight to her head. And she lay there snoring, empty glass on the floor, so drunk came she in, she'd forgotten the door.When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, Another drunk wandering, home in a stagger. To her door he did wander, and gave it a push, Then fell he inside when his foot caught a bush.He spied a light on, in a room and did wander. looked inside the door, and hence he did ponder. Now who was this woman, sitting there in his chair. This woman with such sexy flowing blonde hair.He reached down to give, her shoulder a shake, but the young buxom woman, just wouldn't awake. He tried a bit harder, and gave her a jostle. which didn't awake her, but made her breasts tossle.The drunk seeing breasts, seductively quiver. decided to cup one, still she did not shiver. Now with his right hand, he slipped down her dress. and finding her nipple, an interesting quest.He moved his left hand, and placed on her thigh. and feeling the silks, he pushed his hand high. Over the stocking tops, onto warm skin, to her panties and under, his fingers sank in.He gripped at her panties, and pulled them aside. and with his free hand, then parted her thighs. And moving between, her legs he did shove. Unzipping his pants, to fuck his new love.He then pulled her ass, to the edge of the chair, His dick found it's way, through her pubic hair. and into her pussy, his dick did so slam. then pulled back slightly, to repeatedly ram.He pounded her pussy, and groaned as he shoved. Her pussy felt great, like a hot little glove. She still was asleep, unaware of the world, so he carried on fucking, his sweet Christmas girl.He pushed her legs back, up over her head, And deep in her womb, his pulsing dick fed. He started to grunt, whilst having his fun. Then into her belly, shot all of his cum.He held himself still, til catching his breath, and pulled out his dick, his balls had none left. He wiped off his cock, on the hem of her dress, and zipped himself up, though she was a mess.He spoke not a word, but went straight to the door, before looking round, til he finally swore. “Oh fuck” he soon hissed, “this isn't my home!”, then crept from the house, and left her alone.He swayed down a path, his legs wobbling so, soon slipped on some ice, and landed in snow. But I heard him exclaim, passing out like a light, “Happy Christmas to all, and a fucking good-night!”T'was The Night Before Christmasby LostNlove. Recited by Emily.It was the night before Christmas; And all through my house. The Candles were glowing; And I was quite soused.The fire was warm; And so was the brandy. As I wrapped up the gifts; I was feeling quite randy.I sat in my nightie; Short silky and white. Hoping when Santa showed; He'd enjoy such a sight.Then top of the stairs; I heard a deep groan. It sounded familiar; I let out a moan.I turned round to see; And what do you know. There stood my Santa; His shaft in a bow.I saw that red ribbon; Round that cock so hard. And jumped off the couch; Without self regard.When he saw I was tipsy; He laughed and came down. I untied that bow; And wrapped my lips ‘round.Oh, what a present! I'm one happy wench. I sucked it then faster; my nipples he pinched.I rose to my feet; L and licking my lips. Then, held mistletoe; while he gave me a kiss.We moved to the couch Where he laid me back. And thrust in his cock; All the way to his sack.When my hips rocked he said; Oh You like that I see.” I said, “Yes all though better; On the floor on my knees.”“No problem my dear; Anything that you wish. But first come here; Give me one more kiss.”I kissed his lips softly; Then I got on the floor. He teased so I begged; “Santa please give me more.”He lifted my nightie; Up over my ass. As he gave it a slap; I let out a loud gasp.“I've watched you this year; You're so naughty but nice.” He shoved it in deep saying, “Now, let's do this twice!”I slammed back against him, As he slammed into me. I didn't yet notice; Rug burns on my knees.I moaned and I came; my juices did flow. he pounded yet faster; deep as he could go.I came then again; and convulsed quite a bit. My fingers pressed hard; On my swollen clit.As I came I could feel; His dick start to swell. He smacked on my ass; And I let out a yell.“For when you were naughty, that will suffice. and now here is something; For when you've been nice.”He grabbed my hips tight, And his cock shot a pop. I soon came again; begging please do not stop.His dick throbbed and squirted; I thought I might scream. Oh the wonderful pleasure; Of Santa's hot cream!We collapsed on the floor, His hands in my hair, Then asleep by the fire, Without any care.As he was leaving; Before the sunlight. “Oh my darling; You're such a delight!”Twats The Night Before Christmasby  VeryHappyHubby. Recited by Thomas.Twas the night before Christmas and on our street block; Nothing was stirring, except for my cock. Her panties were hung by the chimney with care, I had a good feeling she soon would be bare.I was horny and naked all snug in my bed, While visions of big boobs danced in my head. With the wife in her nightie, and I full of luck, I had my heart set on a Christmas eve fuck.When out by the hearth there arose such a noise, It sounded like girls and could not be boys. Away to the Christmas tree I flew in the nude, We might have guests, I couldn't be rude.Moonlight from the window cast a warm glow And gave my firm cock a good reason to grow; When, what should appear through my old reading glasses, But eight college girls, and their really firm asses,With little shy giggles, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment they wanted my dick. I was shocked then thought, they had to be bluffing, But I whistled and shouted, as they stripped down to nothing;“I'm Dana I'm Heidi I'm Amber I'm Shelly! I'm Ali I'm Erin I'm Stephie I'm Nellie! From their g-strings and bras that they bought at the mall,  They stripped And Stripped And stripped it off all!”There were eight pairs of tits and pussies to match, My big throbbing cock, wanted a piece of this snatch; So before me now stood, eight naked co-eds, I was anxious to learn who would first give me head;And then with a smile, Amber sought for my dick, The rest formed a line, as she gave me a lick. Each girl sucked my cock, as I fondled her tits, While each girl behind her all played with her clit.My wife dressed in fur, from her tits to her crotch, Said this was from her, and she wanted to watch; A sack full of toys she brought for the girls, It was full of vibrators with one made of pearlsTheir eyes how they twinkled, Their pussies how merry! Their tits were like melons, their clits like a cherry! The girls grabbed their vibes, as I sat on the floor, They pleasured each other, but all wanted more.Each girl took a turn and came over to me, They mounted my cock by the light of the tree. Some fucked me quite slow, and some fucked me fast, My biggest concern was how long I would last.Their boobies were big and their pussies were wet, I had fucked them all but I wasn't done yet. With a wink of her eye and a squeeze of her breast, My wife let me know that she would be next.They spoke not a word, gathered ‘round real quick, and watched how it's done, as my wife worked my dick. She lowered her pussy right onto my rod, We fucked and we fucked, as I shot out my wad.Of all the pussies my wife's was the best, My cock was now tired and needed a rest. With my wife still horny, and claiming it's early, She climbed off of me, and reached for a girly.She licked every breast and sucked evry nipple, My smile was so big and showed off my dimple. She moved to their clits, and then one by one, Each girl did orgasm, until they were done.With evry girl limp and could take nothing more, They eventually dressed and went for the door. But I heard my wife shout, ere they drove out of sight, “Merry Christmas to all, see you tomorrow night.”Tinder Christmas EveBy HarryDNewhouse Recited by AriaTwas the night before Christmas, nothing good on TV. So I went onto tinder, feeling kind of hornie. My kinky companion, was up for some fun. I sent him a message, to tell him he'd won.“Christmas gift wanted, I live all alone. No soul to consort, but my cat and my phone. I want you to dress, in the robes of St Nick. I've been very naughty, so don't make it quick.There's a window unlocked, in the room at the back. It opens with ease, for you and your sack. I'm off to sleep now, in my sexy silk nighty. Oh and by the way, I can get a bit fighty!”A mince pie and brandy were left on the table. Along with a note, ‘Fuck hard if you're able!' Well imagine my shock, when later that night. I'm rudely awakened, by hands grasping tight.My mouth was all covered, a beard scratched my ear. ‘Santa's here slut, and you're going to pay dear' I struggled beneath him, but couldn't get free. His breath was mince pies, with a hint of sherry.Was gagged by the stocking, I'd hung with such pride. Wrists tied with red ribbon, as I lay on my side. My night dress was lifted, my body left bare. Face pushed in the pillows, firm hand held my hair.The slap to my bottom, made me stifle a moan. Spanked by a man, who'd invaded my home. By the tenth I was writhing, all tingling and sore. If not for the stocking I'd be begging for more. Many strikes later, he decided to rise. I then felt hot wax, drip onto my thighs. It seemed like forever, He toyed with me there. Pain mixed with pleasure, in well-practiced flair.‘You're such a bad girl, you deserve only coal. Now open your legs, and I'll choose me a hole'. Candy-cane in my ass, was a tingling surprise. A wide one at that, brought tears to my eyes.Removing his belt, pants fell to the floor. ‘Here's Santa's north pole, now take it you whore!' His cock drove me wild, and I churned and I shuddered. ‘I'll ruin you slut', was all that he muttered.Pulled up on my knees, he pounded and pounded. Fapping & clapping, his testicles sounded. A Christmas orgasm, is always quite nice. We had many that night, and disturbed all the mice.Exhausted and broken, my hands were untied. He reclaimed his trousers, and away he did ride. But before you should ask, ‘was this only a dream?' I awoke the next morning, to signs that I've seen. A candy cane sat, in a drained brandy glass. And I knew it was real, from the pain in my ass. Beside hung a stocking, so full and so swollen. Coal was its contents, my innocence stolen. I yet was astonished, on tinder to find. ‘Sorry I can't make it, I hope you don't mind'. Thus read the message, from my kinky friend. That beard did seem real, Happy Christmas, The End.NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS: PARODYBy Eurika. Recited by RyanTwas the Night Before Christmas, and all through the house' Downstairs I was yearning, and clicking my mouse. Her stockings were flung on the end of the table, But I was alone watching porn over cable.I pulled out the lotion and rubbing my cock. To shoot my load in an old ragged sock. From the upstairs, came a noise so gay, I jumped from my chair, seeking some randy play.I dashed to the bedroom, flung open the door' to see my wife kneeling, down on the floor. For a moment, arose such a hot burning, Seeing my lusty wife, my anger was churning.A little old man, she was sucking his dick. He was dressed in all red, Oh God it's Saint Nick. His eyes were a twinkle, his cheeks were all red. My wife was below him, and giving him head.She stopped rather quickly, looked worried & caught. I wasn't upset though. I thought it was hot! He said, “I have checked, I checked my list twice. She has been a bad girl, but you've been quite nice.”I gave them a smile, and nodded my head, Then old Saint Nick took her, and threw her in bed. He pulled off her nightgown, her boobs bouncing free, He turned her round so she, was looking at me.Her eyes grew much bigger, as he gave a lick, She moaned rather loudly, when he pushed in dick. At first he was slow, til she started to cum. He then fucked her hard, until she was done.He rubbed her bare ass, and gave it a smack, And then pulled out shooting, his load on her back. He gave a thick laugh, and a jolly, “Ho ho.” He pulled up his pants, and started to go.“Thanks for the quicky, alas I must leave. It'll be a long night, many more wives to see.” Out of his sack, he pulled a sex toy, we giggled in glee, and both filled with joy.We looked out the window, her pussy still wet. he got in his sleigh, then took off like a jet I squeezed her ass hard, in the pale moonlight. She owed me a threesome, Damn what a night!“Kay's Christmas WorshipBy drive me wilder. Recited by ClaraTwas the night before Christmas, and the family was fed. Now Kay on her knees, gave Troy some great head. Kay fondled his balls, as he slurped and she licked, Giving him love, as they waited for Nick.Teasing his tip, then taking him deep. Both knew that this night, they'd not get much sleep. Laid out on his back, and watching her bob. His bride and her mouth, now licking his knob.It shined and it glistened, all covered in spit. She loves this good man, and she'll never quit. Now standing and kneeling, a new point of view. Her loving like this, is giving and true.Her hair in his hands, he guides her full stroke. Sometimes very deep, without any choke. Her fingers they tickle, then fondle a ball. He's one lucky man, tonight he stands tall.Picking the pace up, and starting to moan. There's no stopping now, he's in the hot zone. It's starting to build, there is no turning back. His spunk is preparing, to leave his nutsack.Rope after rope, His love juice explodes. And lands on her tongue, in hot heavy loads. And looking at him, with those loving eyes. His love for this woman, for her he would die.His babyfood hangs, off her chin and her nose, A squeeze of her tits, since they're wearing no clothes. She closes her mouth, He knows what's to follow, One look at her throat, as she tilts back and swallows.She worships his cock, her love pole her toy. She stands and he holds her, his heart full of joy. For now it's all over, his heart is in bliss. More sweet dreams await, while they both reminisce.Donna's Night Before ChristmasBy Gaurd. Recited by Molly.‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, not even my spouse. My stockings seductively, laid on the chair, In vain hope he'd take me, right then and there.But he was all snuggled, and tucked up in bed. While visions of fucking, danced in my head. Despite my silk teddy, the impotent chap! Had whiskeyed his brains, for a long winter's nap.When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter. I sprang from the bed, to see what's the matter. Despite my attire, to the window I flew. Whoever was out there, sure got a nice view.In the glowing full-moon, my breasts were on show. I sure looked seductive, when viewed from below. And what to my wondering, eyes could I see. But a jolly odd man, gripped staring at me.I thought for a moment, my mind played a trick. But I knew at that moment, it must be St Nick. More rapid than eagles, and then to my shame. He whistled and shouted, and called out my name!“Now dash to it Donna, my darling my cupid. Come on my vixen, don't try to look stupid. Come down to the porch! And open the door! Now dash and come down! I want to see more!With a shake of the head, I pulled closed the curtain, I must have been dreaming, of that I was certain. Despite my frustration, I got back to bed. ‘Twas then that I heard, some noise overhead!I flew out of bed, downstairs made my way. Dressed in no more than, my pink negligée. Then To my amazement, In trembling I found. The chimney shoot creature, came down with a bound.He dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe. Whilst me in my silkies, gave him quite a show! Up I was bundled, and flung on my back. He open his suit, and showed me his sack.His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! It looked he'd already, been hard at the sherry! My eyes were drawn downward, to the big bulge below. My best Christmas gift, he presented to show.The shaft of his cock, was long & was chubby. Much longer and thicker, than that of my hubby. But a wink of his eye, and a twist of his head. Soon gave me to know, I had nothing to dread.He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Grabbed hold of my panties, & gave them a jerk. He pulled the damp crotch. moved to the one side. He filled up my cunny, I stretched open wide!His gift was so large, I nearly had cried. I came more than once, from his big woody ride. And then out he pulled, and over my belly. He shook and he blasted, as out came his jelly!He sprang to his feet, got back in his gear. And then up he flew, to his waiting reindeer. And I heard him exclaim, as his team flew away. "Merry Christmas Donna, you're such a good lay!”

Today is a simple, but powerful verse to meditate upon. It is prophetic and speaks of the One who would draw all to Him. Oh You who hear prayer, to you all flesh will come. You'll meditate quietly on that verse. But first you'll hear the Old Testament prophecy of the virgin who gives birth to a son and the New Testament fulfillment in Matthew chapter 1. Supernatural revelation had to change Joseph's thoughts. It's the same for us today. So position for that to happen in your mind and heart. Blessings! Visit intothewaters.com to learn more about us!

Today we dropped a special edition of the podcast featuring the return of Spin Master Mugen. He joins us as we break down the many performances of the BET Awards, the great ones, the surprising performances, the WTF moments & those that were meh!We also talk about the history of Diddy, P Diddy, Puffy, Puff Daddy, from his production to his own rap career. Plus does Mugen want to fight him or what?? Does Joey still have  beef with Puffy?? lol Listen to find out!Jack Harlow was invited to perform at the BET Awards, he brought on a very special guest, but he also came through reppin his famous friend who we feel has been black balled from this award show! Who can it be? Oh You'll see!Plus Spin Master Mugen brings up some old beef Joey had with Lil Wayne! Oh you'll want to hear this story! And why does Marie want to fight the City Girls?! @JoeyBravo208 @AaliyahMarie208 @SpinMasterMugen @SippinTeaWithJoeyAndMarie @LatinaPodcasters @LatinoPods 

Swedish singer-songwriter Jens Lekman's beginnings as a musician in Gothenburg, Sweden, his signing to Secretly Canadian, and the making of his long-lost cult compilation album 2005's Oh You're So Silent Jens. Now re-born as the album The Cherry Trees Are Still In Blossom. Featuring guests including Laura Snapes, Chris and Ben Swanson, and Dillon.

When I was reaching bone marrow transplants on YouTube, I came across Chelsey Gomez and her channel Oh You're So Tough. She is also a two time Hodgkin's Lymphoma survivor, who also went through chemotherapy and a bone marrow transplant in order to put cancer into remission. She has taken her cancer journey and some of the stereotypes that are associated with cancer treatments and turned them into art. Additionally, she recently published a book titled "Cancer is an A*Hole" and a children's book "Stickers On A Bald Head". We talk about her diagnoses, her treatments, her family support and how she decided to create pieces of art and author books centered around her cancer battles. How to Find Chelsey online https://linktr.ee/Ohyouresotough Web Site Youtube Instagram Tik Tok Cancer Is An A-Hole Stickers On A Bald Head How to find me online Thanks for listening

Holy Bajesus! It's been quite a while since our last drinking adventure with all of you wonderful people! We had a tough, long and tiring holiday season, but now that we've passed into 2022 we're back and better than ever! To celebrate the new year we dove into some of our favorite moments on the show in 2021 with a good ole fashioned clip show! Re-live some of the most fun moments last year as we crack open some beers. Damn, it's great to be back! Beers on the show: Oh You, Oh Yeah Golden Imp Stout by Fifty West Oh You, Oh Yeah Imp. Stout by Brew Kettle Morphic Resonance of Human Frequencies by Burial Esther's Li'l Secret 2021 by Warped Wing Loretta by Rhinegeist Painkiller Seltzer by Untitled Art The Separation of Light And Darkness w/ Peaches by Burial Find us online at: http://shiftbee.rs http://instagram.com/shiftbeers http://twitter.com/shiftbeers https://facebook.com/shiftbeerspodcast Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/shiftbeers 

00:02.36 Max Shank Welcome back. Everyone to the max and Mike Podcast Hope you're having a lovely day. We're talking about long-term Strategy V versus short-term Burnout. There's a quote I like from the daw. Which is the flame that burns brightest burns half as long and I think that's a natural that's a natural method for super masculine guys. Anyone who's like trying to prove themselves or trying to achieve. A lot in a short amount of time. It's It's really common to experience some burnout I know I've experienced some burnout I would imagine that most of the people listening also have Mike I'm sure you have experienced some. Ah. 00:58.34 mikebledsoe Few times. Yeah. 00:59.80 Max Shank Burnout in your life a few times. So yeah, well I'm reminded of another quote from the dow I'll just quote the dow this whole episode because it's it's it's my favorite book. It really did. 01:08.50 mikebledsoe Perfect. Well it makes sense to quote the doubt for this topic. 01:18.28 Max Shank Put patience in a ah strong light and the the quote that I'm thinking of now is nature does not hurry and yet all is accomplished and kind of makes you start focusing on. Process rather than the result and it's a bit of a paradox because if you don't have a clear target in your mind you are maybe less likely to achieve it. But if you are so chaotically just maniacally focused on the result you won't. Appreciate the process of how to get there and you might have a little less craftsmanship. So it's kind of that balancing of the pain and the desire to achieve a certain goal versus the peace and presence of being where you are. And focusing on what you're doing like a ah Master craftsman. 02:21.45 mikebledsoe It's so much more enjoyable to be in that craftsman space and being in that I guess we could call it like the craftsman versus the visionary and or like being to me a visionary is someone who who sets a ah. 02:30.87 Max Shank Ah, what. 02:38.26 mikebledsoe Ah, plan for the future but in a way that is clear where you also have the daydreamer So the visionaries like the the healthy way of seeing the future but the daydreamer is somebody who spent waste time. 02:49.59 Max Shank What? but. 02:55.47 mikebledsoe Thinking about what could be in the future but doesn't actually execute. But yeah I like the idea of having like the visionary is is 1 thing and the craftsman's on the other side and ah I've spent a lot of time in the visionary role and 1 of the things that i've. 02:58.30 Max Shank Ah, but. 03:13.53 mikebledsoe That I've needed to do because I grew up a daydreamer and then I started shifting that consciously into creating a very specific thing I would narrow my focus down onto. We're going to accomplish this and I noticed it what I've adjusted over time is the amount of attention I. 03:15.58 Max Shank A. 03:33.13 mikebledsoe Put into vision and the amount ah amount of attention I put into being the craftsman have shifted so I spend so when I I put a lot of attention into being a visionary I'll ah so I'll wipe an entire day on my schedule and once a year 03:39.24 Max Shank Something like. 03:50.94 mikebledsoe And I'll envision the next year for my business for instance and then yeah and then you know I create in every ninety days I meet with my team for a few hours to create the ninety day plan and every month we meet for like an hour to make sure that that month is squared away and so that's. 03:55.18 Max Shank It's like chunking. 04:09.41 mikebledsoe But rhythm that I found. That's really helped me balance out that visionary with execution and it's allowed me to really just focus in on the execution be a craftsman because I trust that the plan that I'm working towards that. What I what I've planned to execute. Is actually taking me to where I want to be and now when I'm executing I'm not thinking about the result I'm just thinking about doing the best job I can with a thing that's right in front of me right now and it's created a lot more patience and things have become yeah like life has been. More enjoyable I don't try to squeeze too much in too little time. Um, but you know hey I turned forty last week so this is definitely something that comes with age. 04:50.95 Max Shank Ah. 04:59.90 Max Shank Well, some people never get there right? They live and die without really honing that skill of I just call it time travel skills. You know you look back to your books on the wall which is like your memories. You look forward into the crystal ball. Which is the future and then you have the ability to be super present here and now like ram dos style and if you're able to do that consciously like I am going to project myself into a potential future and. Iron out those details and clarify that vision. That's a superpower and if you're stuck there Forever. You are just swimming in anxiety and if you're going back into the past and you're able to do it expertly. That's how you learn and I mean. You know nostalgia is kind of like a dangerous thing too. I think but if you if you stay in the past too long. You can get depressed. You can get hung up on all of the stuff you did like oh I should have done it differently I mean I always think that way. 06:10.13 mikebledsoe Or there's also like people who who they they they have the nostalgia of the past and then they are comparing it to the present moment and then and in a way the where the present's not as good as the past that doesn't happen as much with our friends probably. But. 06:24.72 Max Shank Yeah, totally I mean. 06:29.89 mikebledsoe If you look at the average person. The average 35 year olds probably like me in high school man that was when I was having all the fun. 06:35.78 Max Shank Well, the only absolute is relativity. You can't describe something without describing something else first and when I think about the the stressors that I experience now here's a story that will make everyone hate me. And it will paint like a really good picture like so ah first it'll it'll make you like me and then it'll make you go fuck that guy so first I remember that my my mom left and my dad and my brother got really depressed. And I was doing all the work basically and my outward frustration was like nothing like I was upset about it but it was like whatever the other day 1 of the speakers in my steam shower stopped working. And I was like what the fuck and like 1 of those is like obviously worse like for a child to shoulder the burden of supporting a family is like way more than I mean I still had 1 steam shower speaker that was working right. Like it wasn't like a whole thing but it but it just goes to show that that like relativity you have this idea based on ah the past, but you also have um, kind of like feature creep. You know people don't like to go down. In Lifestyle chris rockt is like a hilarious bit. It's like women don't go down in lifestyle and he says he does like this whole thing where like once you get to a certain level. You never want to go the opposite way. So it's all it's all what you compare it to and if you get stuck. Like what you're talking about you either are looking back at the past as better than right now or you're looking back as like oh I I was bad then or I did something wrong and then you pull it you pull it with you into the present. So. 08:43.40 mikebledsoe Um, a lot of people end up punishing themselves for a past behavior in the present moment which then just creates creates more negative future moments. 08:49.81 Max Shank Being able. 08:54.74 Max Shank Dude. It steals the potential joy and peace out of the present and I I did a ton of that like I would um, you know who knows exactly why but when I I would like rehearse and prepare for a conversation. Even. 09:14.44 mikebledsoe Yeah. 09:17.41 Max Shank And be like okay this person might say this and then I can say that and then I would also look back to times when I was like a child and be like oh so stupid for saying that that was so mean or that was so dumb and so I think it's it's normal. 09:29.60 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 09:36.97 Max Shank To have those feelings. It's just whether or not you can let them go so that you can be present and you can also project forward with a with a powerful positioning like I can influence my life in a constructive way. 09:39.91 mikebledsoe What. 09:54.68 Max Shank Here's my future plan that is better and also I can come back to the present and do that deep work because if you're thinking if you're just thinking about the pot of gold If you're just thinking about the result you're probably not going to do as good craftsmanship. 10:09.54 mikebledsoe Yeah, absolutely the way I look at ah emotions and memories. Ah, there are everyone has emotions they dwell on and emotions they avoid and you know. 10:23.71 Max Shank Um. 10:27.32 mikebledsoe People Probably a lot of people probably hear that and think yeah people dwell on happy you know, positive emotions or what's perceived as positive emotions and avoid negative and that's not necessarily true I know that for myself I used to dwell on guilt The the emotion of guilt and. 10:38.77 Max Shank The hurt. 10:46.46 mikebledsoe Like it. It was deep down in my gut and like I just felt guilt from like when I was a little kid. It just felt guilty a lot and then I got older and I felt guilty a lot and and the benefit of it of guilt is that you'll change your behavior because you're you're guilty about how you did something. 10:54.74 Max Shank Are. 11:03.74 Max Shank In here. 11:05.78 mikebledsoe But the problem is is if any emotion. But even if it's joy if you're dwelling on that instead of just allowing that emotion to move because they they tend to move unless you suppress or or just um, start creating start. 11:14.60 Max Shank Hit a. 11:24.76 mikebledsoe Remembering stories that you associate with that feeling and you end up in a perpetual loop like oh everyone likely can understand this or go oh I do do that is thing about ah something you were you felt guilty about or bad about in the past and then you'll have that feeling. And then you'll have a thought of something else. You're guilty about and something else. You're guilty about and and so then you just end up having a bad day right? Yeah, this 1 thing triggers a memory which triggers the feeling and that feeling triggers more memories and so we end up practicing being in this. 11:44.85 Max Shank Here. Right. 12:02.37 mikebledsoe This pattern um like ah ah, a guiltridden pattern and yeah, they're just wasting so much energy and time being in a pattern versus just going like you were saying letting it go and to me the key to letting it go is to feel it fully go. You know what. I Don't really look at guilt as a negative thing. It's like it's a gift and I get to learn from it and I go look I am totally present with this emotion I Love it. I accept it I Love it and I got my lesson from it and then if you can do that. That's that's a superpower. 12:39.64 Max Shank Ah, oh yeah, once you shine a light on it. It's no longer. Ah scary. It's no longer lurking in the shadows. There's a french phrase ah to know all is to forgive all never heard that 1 I like that 1 a lot. 12:39.71 mikebledsoe Very few people can do that. 12:44.75 mikebledsoe Right. 12:54.33 mikebledsoe No. 12:59.22 Max Shank I Mean it's That's my translation. It's in French but I don't speak French Currently So um I mean I might I might later? Yeah, um, but when you think about your self. 13:05.10 mikebledsoe But used to maybe or in the future. Yeah later. Okay. 13:18.54 Max Shank Recognizing I mean I still am like this with myself you got to realize that you're a combination of different instincts and stories and all kinds of things where how could you not be more forgiving of yourself. You know like I I know so little still and you know I do this thing on my birthday where I just think man I've accomplished so little I don't really look at it as like a positive thing because it's more like feel like I'm a little bit behind ah my schedule which probably just From. Setting really high goals. But if you don't like forgive the fact that you are a monkey just trying to figure stuff out in some sort of Cyber Punk Weird Ah Lifestyle It's going to be really. Painful for you I mean the the whole reason that people do great or terrible things is because they're like deeply dissatisfied with the way things are right. So if you're not deeply dissatisfied with how the way things are ah you'll you probably do very little. You'll just Enjoy. So I think you said it best is you don't run from that emotion. You don't ignore that emotion. You experience it fully and I think Curiosity is the best way is like the most constructive ah mentality to have about it where you don't take anything personally I think that's 1 of those four agreements is do your best. Don't take anything personally. Um. 14:51.65 mikebledsoe E. 15:08.68 Max Shank So yeah, getting getting curious about the emotion and accepting it and accepting the the fact that we are very emotional creatures if not the most emotional creatures and that'll make it so you're able to forgive yourself which is kind of a precursor for letting that stuff. 15:17.89 mikebledsoe Yeah. 15:27.84 Max Shank Go that doesn't serve you. 15:28.20 mikebledsoe I Think that the taking ah I think we get further define taking things. Personally, this is a this is something that I see people get hung up on a lot and I had a ah a big breakthrough around. My thinking around taking things personally are you familiar with the concept of collapse distinction collapsed collapsed distinction. Okay so collapsed distinction is where ah the human mind. 15:53.29 Max Shank Um, class distinction. No. 16:05.47 mikebledsoe We'll take 2 words and they've collapsed them into the same meaning and so and people start behaving that way. 1 example is ah, there's a collapse distinction for ah, most mothers they have collapsed love and worry. 16:21.97 Max Shank Um, yeah. 16:23.38 mikebledsoe So it right? It makes sense right? Your mom the way she expresses love she doesn't if she's not worried about you. She doesn't feel like she's loving you and yeah, exactly and so. 16:34.16 Max Shank She might feel guilty that she's not worried. 16:42.58 mikebledsoe Um, in in Mothers learn this from their mothers. So this is something that's happened for a long time and so it's like there's a collapse distinction because if we look at but but for us so I'm a son you're a son. If our mom we get on the phone with arm change. Oh okay, the daughter. yeah yeah I think you should just go with the queue. That's what I do yeah I'm I'm ah questioning all the time. 17:04.70 Max Shank I'm thinking of changing actually to daughter or or undecided. Perhaps I think I might be a tree actually. 17:19.52 mikebledsoe Ah, so ah, was it somebody somebody so somebody somebody did somebody did I was like you was like well um I fall into the que category I'm I'm definitelyquet like once I realize the Q stand for questioning I go if you're not questioning what are you doing like. 17:22.61 Max Shank Sorry for the derail. 17:38.30 mikebledsoe And then somebody was like almost founded offensive that I would identify as questioning I go like you're straight I'm like like ah now you're questioning my identity So like like all of a sudden I'm not allowed to yeah, it's it's funny. Ah, anyways, let's get back to it Collapse distinction. Love and worry. 17:51.30 Max Shank That's hilarious. 17:57.50 mikebledsoe Ah, and as a son if my mom over the years has expressed worry for me. It's I don't experience. Love I'm experiencing. It's annoying. Yeah, yeah, it's fear which is a lot of people say those are opposites. 18:06.80 Max Shank Fear fear which is a fear and love are are good opposites. Yeah that that once again that the distinction is important right? How you use those words. 18:15.75 mikebledsoe Ah, but um. Yeah, and so we've collapsed something that is fear based with something that's love based and so ah, you know all we got to do is pull up these 2 definitions and what's the definition of love. What's the definition of Worry. These are very different things and don't even belong in the same category together. 18:26.65 Max Shank Brutal. 18:40.17 mikebledsoe So ah, that's ah, just as an example of a collapse distinction and so now now that we all have the awareness of there's something called collapse distinction that exists and the consciousness of Humans. We can then look for collapse distinction and the more distinction you can create successful distinction. That's the expansion of consciousness because we can look at at 1 aspect of consciousness is is built off of our vocabulary which is the structure of our thoughts and or ah the building blocks of our thoughts. Yeah well,, That's a whole. 19:12.29 Max Shank Probably most. 19:17.99 mikebledsoe We can go down that rabbit hole sometime. Ah, but we should define consciousness. 19:18.70 Max Shank I Mean everything that's not instinct everything. That's not instinctual is a artificial creation Thanks to language. 19:27.68 mikebledsoe Yes, yes, so 1 of the things that I 1 of the the collapse distinctions I stumbled upon a couple years ago was ah being sensitive and taking things personally so what I noticed is people would say. 19:42.31 Max Shank A. 19:47.51 mikebledsoe Oh You're just being sensitive when they really meant you're taking it personally I go. They're not being sensitive. They're taking it Personally, they're actually being insensitive by making it about them and so to me taking it personally means that. I am taking whatever is happening in the world and I'm making it mean something about me. Usually it's a very selfish thing to do and or it or it can be in a positive way still be.. You're still taking it personally. 20:09.39 Max Shank And usually in a negative way talk totally totally well it well what it is is. It's putting yourself into a victim role and taking it. It. It's funny because it is literally taking you are taking it. 20:24.20 mikebledsoe But it's usually negative. 20:34.29 Max Shank And you are making it personal to yourself so that you can adopt that victim mentality and take on that victim role which is super effective in getting you attention and I think the word is conflate. You don't want to conflate. 20:43.83 mikebledsoe Ahead. 20:50.64 Max Shank Being sensitive with taking things personally because being sensitive is actually a huge advantage if you want to be successful in life. It's very useful to be sensitive to all sorts of things and there are all kind of different sensitivity like for. Ah, developing really good feel in your fingertips. You can lay a hair in between 2 pieces of paper and you can try to feel that single hair between the 2 pieces of paper. So If you're trying to become like a body worker having that sensitivity is a huge Advantage. Advantage being sensitive to someone's body language I mean using the 5 senses that's sensitivity you're hearing so sensitivity is crazy superpower if you can pick up on a person's energy. 21:36.50 mikebledsoe E. 21:45.58 Max Shank And dogs are of course good at this because they're not so encumbered by a lot of the language things right? So There's all kinds of senses and sensations and sensitivity that we have that is crazy powerful. Ah so it's important to not conflate that like you said with taking things personally. Which is just like um the crying ego trying to get attention for no reason. 22:09.13 mikebledsoe Well that there's this is what is 1 things that made me notice it is people I would hear people go Oh I'm I'm an empath I'm very sensitive and then I hear them talk about their experience of the world and I go. You're just taking everything personally, you may be sensitive if you're both sensitive. And you take things Personally, you're in a bad spot. That's that's a rough life to live like you're picking up on everything and you're making it all mean something about you. That's Hard. So I I Tell people all the time is like people go people go Well, you don't know you're not really that sensitive I go. 22:38.10 Max Shank Um, I Totally yeah oh yeah. 22:48.15 mikebledsoe Oh I'm very sensitive and and ah and that's why I don't take things personally is because like you're not going to see me get triggered because I know that it's not about me like I It's not that I believe it. It's just I know it's not and so ah. 22:54.47 Max Shank Um, right. 23:07.22 mikebledsoe The way that people are treating me all this I was like it has nothing to do with me. It has it's it's them and it's if you can be both sensitive and you don't take things personally now that's a superpower. But if you're somebody who's sensitive and then you tend to make everything that you're perceiving about you. 23:19.56 Max Shank Agreed. 23:26.88 mikebledsoe You're you're on the opposite end you're fucked. So I think a lot of people. They don't know how to not take things personally so they end up trying to desensitize themselves because it's just too much. 23:39.70 Max Shank Yeah, Wow. It's so true and I think subconsciously um some people want that they want to take on that role. It's like ah some people like to whip and some people like to be whipped and. 23:53.85 mikebledsoe Here. 23:57.53 Max Shank You know if you don't have a physical whip handy. Maybe you can just engage in a little psychological self-torture anytime. So it's it's fascinating and I've never heard that collapsed distinction before. 24:03.47 mikebledsoe Ah, yeah. 24:12.23 mikebledsoe Okay, okay. 24:14.74 Max Shank I Think conflate means something almost similar like you either. It's like you confuse and combine words I'm pretty sure that's what it is yeah come. 24:21.10 mikebledsoe Yeah, well yeah, um, yeah, maybe I need to I need to look it up. 24:28.44 Max Shank combine it's combine 2 or more ideas or words into 1 Yeah. 24:30.82 mikebledsoe Perfect I think that's that's good. Um, the reason I used the words collapse distinction I've not heard I've heard it from a couple people it's not widely used. Um I like it because ah, there's an opposite to collapse distinction which is just. 24:40.26 Max Shank Um, yeah. 24:49.52 mikebledsoe Distinction whereas like conflate. It's like well what's what's the opposite of that. There's what what happens after we stop conflating whereas with ah with a collapse distinction I go Well, there's distinction and then there's collapse distinction. So ah. 24:49.52 Max Shank Um. 24:54.91 Max Shank Specific right? Distinction. We really should do a whole topic on language 1 of these days because that's 1 of the roots of pretty much every problem a person has right. 25:07.98 mikebledsoe Anyways. 25:20.26 mikebledsoe Yeah. 25:23.42 Max Shank You know, even Ecker tolly would say you know there there are no problems. There are only situations and all of this is just based on how we frame our experience with language and the whole concept of semantic precision which is using language. Where both parties agree on the definition. That's where most miscommunication happens like my my feeling in the world is like I Just want to like yell stop to everybody I Just want to like put my hands up and be like hey whoa. I Think there's been a misunderstanding whoa This got out of hand like I think we're just not understanding each other properly. You know. 26:04.26 mikebledsoe Um, well. 26:12.25 mikebledsoe That's ninety Nine point nine percent of the time. Yeah I mean I if you I and and the phrase that drives me nuts to someone someone goes. Oh that's just semantics and I go what. 26:25.68 Max Shank That's the only tools we have to argue you want a fist fight. That's all we got. 26:28.19 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah people you're like oh that's just semantics I'm like I'm like whoa whoa Whoa If you're somebody who goes that's just semantics and you are likely missing you. You actually don't know what's happening in the world like in you, you not can be able to communicate it. 26:42.45 Max Shank Well, you don't even know what's happening you don't even know what's happening within your own structure of your own ideas because the whole purpose is to get both parties to agree on what the definitions are so that you can have a distinct. Discourse or a precise discourse where everybody's like yes, this is what conflate means this is what collapse distinction means this is what love means you know like even even in something like marriage right? You know people are so nebulous with ah. What they're looking for in a relationship and then they're like I'm not getting what I want. It's like well did you specifically ask and did the other person agree to that and they're like well no, it's like embarrassing and I'm like oh well, um you you brought this on yourself like yeah, right is. 27:33.53 mikebledsoe Good luck, Good luck with life. Ah. 27:39.25 Max Shank It's so brutal I mean that's why like a lot of the first language was um, keeping tally of agreements like the most of the the um ancient texts are like. 27:45.70 mikebledsoe E. 27:54.60 Max Shank I don't know I'm going to show my ignorance here I don't exactly know. But I think it's like sumerian or something like that where it's like you know Bob smith that's not the name like but Bob smith owes you know Joe blow 3 cattles and a bushel of. You know acorns or something like that I don't know I'm not super hip with it. But that's basically what the first what the oldest written language we have is. 28:14.42 mikebledsoe Yeah, right I got I give you my daughter and exchange you get me 2 walks and fifty had a goats and yeah. 28:22.20 Max Shank Ah, right right? Fifty Silver so shekels or something like that. 28:32.66 mikebledsoe Ah, all right? Let's let's bring it back to the rhythm when we got off on a language tangent which is great because I actually think we'll we'll likely do that a lot in the future and I already wrote down the put language and all that for the for the next next episode let's get back to rhythm. Um I'll bring it back in. 28:43.35 Max Shank Yeah, should just make that our next 1 come come nice and prepared. Yeah, so. 28:52.47 mikebledsoe Little bit of a hard left. But I think it's necessary ah is ah 1 of my buddies he once we once got started talking about cycles. So we if we talk about um I think about seasons and cycles when I think about rhythm and. 28:56.00 Max Shank It's good time. 29:06.88 Max Shank Um, threat. 29:12.21 mikebledsoe Ah, because I think sometimes when I just think about rhythm by itself I think about a song.. There's a there's a beginning and an end and there's ah a cadence but with seasons of course it's circular and ah so it's it's predictable over and over and over again. But. I think we can all see the four seasons and ah so my buddy brought this to my attention. At 1 point he goes. Okay so you have your daily cycle and then you have your like if we look at real cycles in nature outside of ourselves We have the sun. The. 29:43.79 Max Shank Sun Moon. Yeah. 29:48.71 mikebledsoe Lunar cycles which is about 13 of them in a year um which basically the gregorian our calendar is totally fucked but um, it's not lined up with nature necessarily. Ah so it's close. 30:03.30 Max Shank It's pretty close with the solar cycle. What propose a better 1 mike ah I'll meet with you 3 moons from now. 30:07.40 mikebledsoe They have to make it Well we talk about that later, but ah, um, you could just go off the moon but the the yeah but ah, well, there's the Mayan calendar which is which follows the lunar cycles. So I know someone who runs their business Ho The lunar. 30:21.99 Max Shank The. 30:26.94 mikebledsoe Have the Mayan calendar but ah, she's far out there? Yeah yeah, yeah. 30:29.72 Max Shank It's pretty far out I like it I think you got to respect those cycles I think temp I think tempo um and cycles are are very similar I don't think tempo or Rhythm necessarily means a song i. 30:43.44 mikebledsoe Right. 30:45.82 Max Shank Have this time time is illusion but Tempo is real is this sort of thing I have going on in the back of my head because the whole concept of linear time is just based on our singular perception of it and our memory are. 30:48.96 mikebledsoe A b. 31:02.24 mikebledsoe Me. 31:04.46 Max Shank That's that's all it is memory and prediction. That's our only evidence that there is a such thing as time but the tempo of these different things like the sun and the moon and the seasons those are very concrete and they're circular. They're not. 31:21.89 mikebledsoe Right? Yeah, so we got we got the sun. We got the moon and then you you start expanding out into the universe and there's there's a cycle happening in our our well just in the cosmos in general and then you get down to you know I think it's easier to see in women. They have their. 31:22.55 Max Shank Ah, linear. What. 31:41.34 Max Shank And. 31:41.68 mikebledsoe Monthly cycle. That's happening internally and you know their training and their nutrition is going to shift based on you know if you're an athlete will will shift based on those things and and. 31:52.95 Max Shank They usually leave them out of studies. A lot of scientific studies. They cut women out of because they have the huge change during a monthly cycle which is fascinating. 31:56.41 mikebledsoe Yeah. 32:02.43 mikebledsoe I think men have I think it's a seventy 2 day cycle that is more subtle so it's over a longer period of time and it's not so drasstic. So just not as noticeable. 32:09.67 Max Shank Are. 32:16.85 Max Shank That explains why I've been so grumpy this I think I'm on I think I'm on my man period. 32:21.21 mikebledsoe I've had that happen I go ah, that's right? Ah so I look at these cycles and look at the seasons and and 1 of the things that really ah I really started appreciating my thirty s and I actually think living on the water. And san diego in a house that had a lot of ah, a lot of natural light helped me understand the seasons much better. 1 is being on the water allowed me to see the sun move across the sky I watched the sunset almost every day. 32:45.00 Max Shank And. 32:57.60 mikebledsoe And so it moved from from North to south and south to North ah across the west coast ah line and then it also was you know in the in the middle of the Summer. It's nine zero pm or little later setting and in the winter I mean it's four fifty and it's dark outside. 33:10.59 Max Shank Okay. That was a great house. 33:15.89 mikebledsoe And great house and I miss it. Ah and it was during that time that I really started honoring the seasons because prior to that I was. When I was living in memphis tennessee and I was running the gym like I was up at the gym at 6 a m no matter what time of year it was and I was under fluorescent lights. There was no I was killing all the natural cycles and and I wasn't done till nine zero p m and I'd get home and and everything was the same. 33:45.22 Max Shank Are. 33:52.36 mikebledsoe All the time and I was worn out and I didn't know why and then a few years into living in the San diego in this environment and I noticed that I worked less in the winter a lot less like probably half half the amount of time during the day in the winter I would I noticed that I would. Consume weed at night in the winter and and I would do movement at night and then when it started getting warm in the summer I would do my movement sober in the morning and so like I I now adopt that so in in the winter I start I train in the evenings and. 34:15.80 Max Shank Um. 34:20.48 Max Shank Um, her. 34:29.54 mikebledsoe Summer I trained the mornings so I just witnessed my personal preferences based on I really got sensitive I was practicing sensitivity to the season and I also noticed that and in the summertime there's more parties it. 34:29.63 Max Shank Interesting. 34:38.57 Max Shank And. 34:46.69 mikebledsoe Ah, people are celebrating um I work a lot more I stay up later I get less sleep I get like 7 hours of sleep on average in the summer and the winter I'm getting 8 and a half to nine and I go to less parties and I I read more in the winter. It's the winners all about reflection. 34:53.36 Max Shank A. 35:05.56 mikebledsoe About consuming. It's about resting and and more of just being and the spring hits and it's like oh you know I'm starting I'm almost tired of doing little and reflecting I've learned a lot I've reflected on what happened last year I'm ready to kick this year's ass and you spring in the action. And in the summer you're rolling and then the fall you know is the harvest and and by you know it's october now. So now. My experience is ah is I'm going oh man I'm so glad the parties are ending. So glad the sun's going down early because. 35:39.14 Max Shank Simply. 35:42.79 mikebledsoe I'm really feeling the desire to read and reflect and and get more sleep right now and so having that sensitivity to the seasons has really allowed me to ah just in all areas of my life. You know we can look at business and then the winner is just as wait. 35:48.58 Max Shank Ah. 36:02.40 mikebledsoe I've got a lot more strategy going on. There's less less doing and in the summer it's you know you know? Um, um, there's a lot more execution happening and less strategy. So it's um, it's welcome and it's enjoyable and it keeps me interested in life. 36:12.35 Max Shank And. 36:19.55 mikebledsoe Having those seasons. 36:21.69 Max Shank There's some wisdom there too and I see wisdom as knowing yourself and acting accordingly and it sounds like you are really honoring your natural tendencies rather than fighting your natural tendencies because. Whether it's a macro cycle like ah the periods in your life where we're going to be at different places right? I mean I'm um, I'm in a pretty different place now at 34 than I was at 21 right? I'm in a different kind of position and different situation. 36:52.10 mikebledsoe A. 36:58.52 Max Shank And even throughout the day. Everybody's going to have a different rhythm to when they're feeling more energized when they're um, more likely to do a certain type of work I mean I've fought it for a long time because I. Want to be on a Circadian rhythm but actually I do my most interesting creative work at night when it's quiet and you know I would I love ah the idea of going to bed at 8 o'clock and waking up at four o'clock and when I do that. 37:21.69 mikebledsoe E. 37:32.90 mikebledsoe They have. 37:36.64 Max Shank Get even less done. It's it's just way worse. So ah, you know I'm good I always turn the screens off at 8 o'clock but I don't necessarily go to bed around that time and that makes a huge difference. So anyway back to what I said about. 37:45.42 mikebledsoe Yeah I think I mean for me the way I The the way hit me for that is I I just I turn my screens off when the sun goes down so it's like instead of it instead of it being at a specific time I go Oh it's getting. 37:59.56 Max Shank That's even better. Yeah. 38:05.21 mikebledsoe Dark I try to live in homes where it's natural light during the day and I'm not using any artificial light. So when the sun goes down it becomes obvious. 38:07.92 Max Shank Um, yeah. 38:13.30 Max Shank Well and it's that built in rest from those things right? I mean what is it even god rested once a week even god rested on Sundays or something like that and to use ah a fitness analogy. Um, you can't you can't sprint. 38:21.37 mikebledsoe A. 38:32.91 Max Shank All out all the time. All you're going to do is make the result worse and start running a lot slower. So if you ride the waves you're going to get a lot more out of it and you're going to expend way less energy doing it. You know if like. I'll use jumping as an example, if I had you jump a Hundred times by the hundredth jump if you did it all in a row. It would be horrible looking jumping a Hundred times really high. But if I had jump 3 times every minute. Like you could probably do thirty minutes of jumping and be a little better and even 1 step ahead of that if I had to do 3 jumps every minute for ten minutes three times a day then it's going to be even better than that. So this whole idea of trying to grind through. Rather than draw some boundaries and set yourself up so you can ride that momentum I mean look the reality is like you don't even have to do that many things to be wildly. Successful. But you can do it the the hard way or you can do it the easy way. And if you respect those rhythms and respect your nature It's so much easier, but that does require that ability to see the big picture which is the visionary mode and then also get into the the craftsmanship mode. 40:03.87 mikebledsoe Yeah, there's a word you use that I find to be very important that is boundaries and most people have very poor boundaries. You're good. You're good. You're good at the boundaries I'm a lot better. 40:09.52 Max Shank I Am That's my best skill I got the fastest know in the west I'm good. Yeah some people call that unfriendly. 40:22.52 mikebledsoe Ah, max du an asshole. Ah yeah I've had people in my life. You know they'll they'll be like if he doesn't want to do it. He's not going to do it or if I do want to do something I'm going to do it. 40:26.50 Max Shank I Just I just love myself. That's all. 40:36.70 Max Shank Right. 40:40.77 mikebledsoe It's It's more about like negotiate like if I'm know whoever I'm dating so turns into a negotiation about how it's going to happen versus if it's going to happen or whatever it is or not going to happen. Yeah, so. 40:49.80 Max Shank If you can't say no, it's not negotiation. Can't walk away. It's no negotiation at all. 40:58.85 mikebledsoe Yeah, but I think the boundaries conversation. You know I see there's internal boundaries and external boundaries and people are constantly crossing their internal boundaries. There. You know they go Oh I'm going to turn off my screens when the sun goes down or or whatever it is and then they don't do it or I'm going to stop. You know, binge watching television and cracking a beer when I get off work and they just cross that boundary and over and over again. They end up hating themselves for it usually projecting that anger on to you know their job or a relationship or yeah to kick the dog or whatever it is and. 41:20.73 Max Shank The. 41:30.99 Max Shank Take the dog right. 41:37.84 mikebledsoe So There's like the the setting and the maintaining of boundaries is really really Important. Ah for for growth and the way I look at it is if we study archetypes if we look at like masculine archetypes the King sets the boundaries. The King has a kingdom. And says these are the edges of my kingdom. This is what I will and will not do and this is these are the rules that we live by in my kingdom but the warrior their job is to maintain those boundaries and so what I see a lot of a lot of men who end up in this like really flowy place is they have no boundaries. 41:59.26 Max Shank The. 42:06.10 Max Shank Is. 42:15.17 Max Shank Oh. 42:16.66 mikebledsoe Because they're there even if they want to have boundaries their warrior is so weak that they they just fold to their internal boundaries all the time and so there's a lot of guys running around acting tough who have zero warrior energy being directed at. 42:23.67 Max Shank And. 42:36.24 mikebledsoe Ah, maintaining boundaries and so ah and if you can't maintain your internal boundaries. You're not going to maintain healthy external boundaries and a lot of people on the external boundary side people. They don't um. 42:36.94 Max Shank Ah. 42:55.35 mikebledsoe First off, most people don't communicate their boundaries as boundaries. They may communicate it but they don't use the word boundaries I find that if I use the word boundary with somebody it catches their attention they go. Oh he's being serious because it's just not a common word and ah so external boundaries usually aren't communicated. 42:57.31 Max Shank Um, right right? Yeah, ah. 43:15.70 mikebledsoe And again someone else crosses our external boundary. What happens if you cross my external boundary and I didn't communicate it to you I usually get angry. You know people get angry. They're like but the fuck and you're going what happened I don't know um and so ah. 43:24.91 Max Shank Lash out and right off. 43:33.37 mikebledsoe Learning to communicate boundaries effectively All the time will create a lot of respect from other people and it keeps things really really clean and if something if something does need to shift in a relationship and you've been communicating the boundary as being broken over and over and over again. 43:41.73 Max Shank Oh. 43:52.36 mikebledsoe And it's an easier thing to to satisfy to to move away from it's like oh we have Ah, we've documented that this boundary's been crossed a dozen times like you're not honoring my boundariary. So yeah, we're gonna We're gonna shift this relationship. 43:58.12 Max Shank Right. 44:06.80 Max Shank Well and you draw your own line of what you're going to tolerate or not and it's It's fine to compromise as long as you know what? you're getting for what you're giving. Um I think I think fasting is really good for drawing those boundaries. 44:16.22 mikebledsoe Now. Yeah. 44:24.55 Max Shank I mean I don't want to label myself. Um, but I usually don't have 1 of something I have like zero of something or I have lots of that something and I think fasting is really good for drawing. 44:37.27 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah. 44:44.12 Max Shank That critical boundary of your intake and I made a little video about it and I talked about how the main benefit of fasting to me is going from um, compulsive to conscious behavior and that's. 44:59.49 mikebledsoe E. 45:03.69 Max Shank Really at the core of what we're talking about and when I was on this other show I got asked like what's the way to get rich and I said deferred gratification and they said anything else I'm like not really like if you're able to defer gratification until later and you provide something. Valuable. It'll it'll eventually work out if you can see the big picture and stay focused then the other stuff will sort of happen organically I think and look you can go. We can go into way more detail as far as how to get rich and stay rich which would maybe be another. Good topic for a show because we have similar but different similar similar and different strategies on that. Um. 45:41.79 mikebledsoe Oh yeah, like that 1 45:48.37 mikebledsoe Well I've ah ah we we come from. We have different personalities when it comes to our approaches to business and wealth building but we also have agreement on a lot of Concepts so it'd be. It'd be interesting. 45:56.90 Max Shank Totally right. Right? Yeah, it flows so easy. 46:07.20 mikebledsoe I Mean that's why we have these conversations because we we've come to. We've come to similar conclusions from different points of view all right. We'll do the get rich stay rich. 46:18.58 Max Shank That's that's what we like about other people too. We like that they're different but similar right? Um I think for tying this rhythm thing back into business I think the value of. 46:21.24 mikebledsoe Yeah. 46:35.58 Max Shank Putting together a campaign is quite valuable and having it be. You know I'm not just like doing x y and z all day every day there's the visionary comes up with this plan and then we have this. Execution that lies on a bit of ah, a tempo or a cycle. So like let's say you and I were going to start a new business and we didn't set any boundaries for when we're going to, um, you know do the brain. Swarming I call it I don't I don't call it brainstorming I call it brain swarming like it's everything all these different things kind of coming together and moving as a unified unit. But if we don't have like a stop for that phase. And think it's easy to imagine that you and I would just stay in Dreamland brainswarming forever and be like oh and what if we did this and what if we did that and if you have this sort of tempo. For that campaign where it's like first we're going to do this and then we're going to build and then we're going to delegate and then we're going to build and then this is going to be our follow up tempo and touch points and that's the same thing with coaching is how often am I going to touch base. How often am I going to reach out to you. What's our. 47:57.70 mikebledsoe Oh. 48:01.79 Max Shank But's our tempo for it and for me weekly is really good. For example in my experience. That's the best of course if you have someone who can check in with you every single day. That's probably going to give you an even better result. Something like coaching hey you know how to go Yesterday. What's the plan today boom boom boom and you kind of work through it and clearly that there's a benefit to that. Otherwise no 1 would need a coach but the reality is ah. 48:27.78 mikebledsoe E. 48:39.25 Max Shank Ah, Coach often gets you to do something. You know you should. 48:40.62 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, I also see the the necessity for creating our own you know and I think about this I think about creating your own structure because that creating that rhythm that tempo is a structure. Um and is. 48:50.59 Max Shank So. 48:57.64 mikebledsoe I Think there's also why coaching is is becoming really important right now is because more and more as as the world decentralizes people are becoming more and more responsible for their own schedule and you know we saw this with Covid people started working from home and there was. 49:09.16 Max Shank Um, now that's tough. 49:17.50 mikebledsoe Ah, go oh wow people. Ah first I was like people probably won't work that much and then I start hearing reports that people are working way more because there's no boundary set up for them like oh you show up to work at this time and then you leave work and so they were just like working all the time at home like whoa and so um. 49:22.17 Max Shank M. 49:31.56 Max Shank Well. 49:37.50 mikebledsoe Yeah, there's a lot of factors there. But as the Covid just sped things up. They were already there which is the world is decentralizing more people are going to work from home. There's gonna be more freelancers less employees and like more contractors and if you're a freelancer. 49:38.78 Max Shank What and the. 49:49.90 Max Shank The and. 49:55.76 mikebledsoe 1 of the beauties of being a freelancer is you have control of your own schedule and that is a new thing for people. 50:07.14 Max Shank I've always wanted that that was like the really since I was a young kid that was the only thing I wanted is the freedom to live on my own schedule. You know I felt like something was taken away from me as soon as I had to start going to school I'm like this is awful I don't want to do this I Want to go out and play with the stick. 50:13.64 mikebledsoe A. 50:24.80 Max Shank But and I think kind of to borrow your term again. Um, collapsed distinction with the work and home life I think that's 1 of the um. 50:41.47 Max Shank Challenges or opportunities for entrepreneurs I've certainly noticed that myself I mean the reality is I I did work tons and tons of hours getting to where I'm at now and that number has significantly decreased as I've gained more skill and drawn better boundaries. But if you. Are suddenly thrown into this scenario where the place you work is the same place that you eat and the same place that you also have a computer where you can see anything anytime you will get that collapsed distinction. Where now everything is just always happening right here at the console I'm working and then I'm in the kitchen eating cookies and then there are boobies on the screen and you're just kind of like this everything everything all at once where you don't have that clear. 51:37.83 mikebledsoe Yeah work. 51:38.78 Max Shank Distinction of when it's work time and when it's relaxed time and I think that is a very just as valuable. Maybe as being able to consciously rather than compulsively project your thinking into the future project your thinking into the past. 51:45.73 mikebledsoe Yeah. 51:58.38 Max Shank And also bring yourself directly into the here and now and just go for a walk and let your ah conscious mind be alleviated of all of these you know, urgencies and emergencies and problems and all of these labels. We attach to. 52:16.10 mikebledsoe Yeah now. Yeah. 52:18.18 Max Shank Things trying to ask you for your time but you still have the power to draw that boundary and say no. But if you don't if you don't It's game over like people will infringe on your boundaries and they will respond to. However, you train them to respond. 52:35.50 mikebledsoe E. 52:37.58 Max Shank Basically um, which is kind of weird I don't mean that in a derogatory way at all. But you know if someone complains to you and then you respond to them favorably favorably. You're in inviting them to do that more if someone says hey can you can you stay. You know 3 hours late or come in and work on Sunday and you just always say yes, well, they're just going to always ask you to come work on sunday. 53:01.77 mikebledsoe Yeah I like the thing about it as you're a character in a movie and or if you've ever studied you know fiction. You know you basically create a character and then the character. Based on their characters how they respond throughout the story or the movies like oh that was it would be weird that'd be at a character of this character if james bond you know, walked away from you know a hot woman. It would be it would be at a character like no james bond like. 53:21.61 Max Shank Ah. 53:31.11 Max Shank That would be out of character right. 53:36.70 mikebledsoe He orders a martini. He chats her up at the bar. Ah, and so we are all characters in a movie and we have this script playing all the time and. 53:45.72 Max Shank God am I the villain or the hero I'm not even sure if I become a villain I would be a hell of a good Ark though. 53:54.64 mikebledsoe And and ah, what ends up happening is people are casting us as characters in their movie and ah if you start making 1 of these changes. For instance, you go you know what? I'm going to shift my character I'm going to develop my character. By creating boundaries that I communicate now it can be jarring for other people because now they have this expectation of the character in which they perceive you to be and now you you aren't that and people tend to dislike change. So Now you're throwing a wrench. 54:20.61 Max Shank Um, then again. 54:34.33 mikebledsoe And their their consciousness and they go but but but and a lot of times it comes out as Anger or disappointment or whatever it is and so for me I I really make sure that my first impression with people is you know it's an anchor experience. They're now this. Moment in time. How they how they're interacting with me now is how they're gonna end up treating me in the future because changing that over time can be difficult so I'm very good at holding the boundaries from from the very beginning. They know my boundaries. They're not gonna think anything of it. They're not gonna be mad about it. The people are gonna get mad at. 55:06.60 Max Shank Like. 55:13.78 mikebledsoe My new boundaries are the people who I've already got very established relationships with and now I'm creating something new. 55:16.49 Max Shank Well, it's like momentum. Well it's physics right? If you have momentum in a certain way and people expect that certain thing if you change there's going to be a new acceleration or a Jolt and a jerk and that's going to be really uncomfortable. 55:30.96 mikebledsoe Yeah, yeah, so yeah, and summary for that is it I think a lot of people are going to get out of this is to be more conscious of their internal boundaries external boundaries notice. 55:34.84 Max Shank No. 55:49.60 mikebledsoe The rhythms that that exist in the world and with themselves and being able to honor that and making those changes to honor your own rhythms and the rhythms of the universe are going to make your life a lot better but in the short term making those changes and and experiencing that. Change in acceleration can be a little jarring and just realizing that hey this short term difficulty and making these ah changes for me and and others will be worth it. Long term because once you get them set and you're rolling life. Gets a lot better. 56:28.43 Max Shank I Think it's also yeah I would agree with what you said completely I would also suggest people start timestamping their start and stop times when they're working on stuff and notice for themselves when they're doing their best work. 56:38.56 mikebledsoe Yeah. 56:44.20 mikebledsoe E. 56:46.55 Max Shank And when things start to deteriorate and you know the whole point of what we're doing really is to liberate people from the false realities that have been programmed into them from a huge variety of sources and it's natural to want to get. Ah, greater effect for less effort. There's nothing more natural than that we want. We want to be as efficient as we possibly can. So if you do respect those boundaries if you do draw those boundaries if you do um draw a clearer. 57:13.90 mikebledsoe Me here. 57:22.77 Max Shank Distinction rather than a collapse distinction between work rest and play. You're going to get a way way better result with way less effort I mean who would not want to spend less time working but get better results like what? what seems more obvious than that. 57:41.56 mikebledsoe Yep. 57:42.70 Max Shank But if you don't draw those boundaries. It's basically impossible and you know you can't worry I mean this is easier said than done right? because we're the most social emotional creatures ever. You can't worry what it's going to do for someone else like breaking your own boundaries to make someone else feel better. Is not doing them a favor. It's just willingly participating in your own energy vampireism essentially and I really like the the lore around vampires because it perfectly describes energy vampires too. So with. 58:16.42 mikebledsoe Oh. 58:20.20 Max Shank Real vampire I was going to say real vam I mean maybe there are who knows with real vampires or the story. They can't come in your house and let see you invite them in with energy vampires. It's exactly the same thing you don't have to let anyone suck any of your energy. Unless you deliberately and directly invite them in so it's very important to just realize how much power is in the word. No. 58:47.28 mikebledsoe Someone say it's the most powerful word there is. 58:52.71 Max Shank Um I would agree maybe maybe yes Also but yes and yes implies that no is an option. 58:59.29 mikebledsoe Yeah, can't have a yes without a no as a possibility I Want to mention in summary I Do want to mention 2 tools that I use that that you made me think of ah is I use a tool called Marduck which is ah. Have my entire business put in there. It's it's ah it's ah the most advanced task management system ever seen I'm go. Ah I'm a Beta user for it. My buddy designed it. We're gonna be rolling that out to my clients. But also if anyone wants to use this. Ah. This software that basically you put your entire business in it and then it tracks how long you're doing certain tasks and helps you focus I would say I've been using it for five months my productivity if I to guess 3 X I work less and get way more done. Um, and I enjoy my work so he he's figured out a way to gamify ah work. So you program it around your business and then it gamifies it and there's rewards and all sorts of stuff. Um, but what I do is with the marduck system when I start a task I hit play and it starts tracking my time. When I hit stop and when when I hit play it closes down all the other things that I need to do that Day. So I'm not getting distracted when I hit stop I Then it prompts me to put in what I did like like a little summary of what I completed and then the difficulty of. On on a number scale of how difficult that task was for me to complete and ah that helps me, um, check you know I'm consciously choosing to do a task and then I I complete it and then I do a check In. Um. 01:00:28.66 Max Shank Um, um, how can. 01:00:44.59 mikebledsoe And then so I use that tool in combination with another tool called Brain Dot fm. 01:00:46.44 Max Shank We should. We should get Marduk to sponsor this episode that was amazing. 01:00:50.94 mikebledsoe Oh yeah, thanks. Ah yeah, I'm gonna be slinging some marduck well like I said up. Um I'm giving it to all my clients starting at 2022 ah but anyone even if you're not a client if you want to get access to it. You just dm me on the instagrams. 01:01:00.98 Max Shank Cool. 01:01:10.66 mikebledsoe And ah, brain fm is the other 1 which is a binaural audio program that basically helps your brain it basically tunes your your brain to the frequency of focus while you're getting stuff done and what I like about brain fm is. There's 30 sixty and ninety minute. Ah. Ah, amount of time you can put on there and so the music just plays helping you focus? Um, and then after thirty sixty or ninety minutes however you program it it stops and that's what I know to take a break and so I noticed that I can do two ninety minute sprints if if I'm working before noon. 01:01:40.48 Max Shank Smart. 01:01:47.22 Max Shank Who. 01:01:49.70 mikebledsoe So I'll do ah a ninety minute sprint and then I'll go make myself some breakfast take a thirty minute break go for a walk come back. Do another ninety minute sprint in the afternoons I like to do sixty minute I can do 1 or 2 sixty minute sprints and then I'm done I'm done for the day and so ah, that's that's been a really great. Those are great tools that have. Help me raise my awareness around what I'm doing how I'm doing it creating boundaries. ah so I'm ah I'm a big fan of I like to say I have very little willpower but I'm hyper ah hyperactive as 1 yeah, but I'm um. 01:02:20.15 Max Shank Active. 01:02:25.90 mikebledsoe Hyper vigilant around setting up structures and systems to kind of basically I bump into things I go Oh yeah, I'm so it's a stop right now. Otherwise I just keep going. Oh yeah, thank you, Thank you. 01:02:37.74 Max Shank That's wisdom. That's knowing yourself and acting accordingly. That's really smart. That's very wise. Yeah, you bet. 01:02:45.68 mikebledsoe Um, yeah, anything else you want to mention in summary for the show. 01:02:49.00 Max Shank No love you. Love you guys. Thanks for listening draw good boundaries and don't fight the flow ride the wave. 01:02:59.60 mikebledsoe Dope you can find max at ma shk dot com and everything ma shk and then find me at ah mike underscore Bloodso on Instagram and the strongcoach dot com on the interwebs. Thanks y ' all. 01:03:04.90 Max Shank That's it.

Stef's been chanting mantras in a trailer park healing shack by the sea, should we call for help? Hold the phone—It's the cancer card episode! You get a cancer card, and YOU get a cancer card, and YOU get one! Listeners share the ways they've cashed in on their experience with the big C to enhance myriad situations; we've got cops, coffees, and upgrades galore. Also, Big Thief and Big Keef are back and STILL mixed up. Maybe they'll do a benefit show together? Then, a surprise letter is coming…from inside the house! Someone near and dear reminds fellow blood cancer people to get their covid antibody tests. Finally, HATS… we mean RATS has incredible news for glioblastomas. Magnets: how do they work?! To learn more about the oscillating magnet beer hat that's curing glioblastoma, check out this articleGet your own ACTUAL cancer card from Oh You're So Tough on Etsy RATS theme song by Jessica BoudreauxTheme music by VyvyvyrJoin our Facebook group! Support us with Buy Me A Coffee or by rating, reviewing, and subscribing on Apple Podcasts (this seriously helps!) 

Amy's dosed herself… again! And this time she's using the ol' herb to cope with a new cancer scare. Spoiler alert: this sequel has a happy ending. Then, things get loosey goosey as the gals reminisce about times they've used (or abused) their Cancer Cards. Have you swiped yours? Spill the deets; we're on your side. Also! New business, who dis? Dial 1-800-GoFundMe-4u! While we have you on the line, send over your tips and tricks with the “bald” thing. In letters, it's sarcoma awareness month! Plus, an update from our favorite ex-Starbucks barista, and a love letter to Yolanda. RATS outta the bag: a new blood test might answer the age-old question: do I even HAVE cancer??To learn more about the RATS in this episode, visit  https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0923753420360580To read the Healthline article about @forthebreastofus and #WhenYouSeeUs, go here To read more from our Sarcomie, visit Wonky Arm BlogTo get your own cancer card, go to Oh You're So Tough

X.X I wish i was pretty Tim admitted that might be the last wish he grants me this century; Wanna make history... but now I make dollars for callers, I'm all in my misery Misery: Listen to me! I didn't mean to see something in Sonny nobody should see And this shit'll make history; Guess i'm blessed, Now he's dead to me “Bless you” I said, As I sneezed when they cut off my- ... Now I live on a silver platter, I splatted: my hat's on the pavement Must be something ‘bout Asians, Cause every time I say ‘Amen' when I'm praying for Sonny, or Kayla Lauren, or whoever this demented demon that's chasing me-- Satan asks for a payment, and says “Hey! Now, a pop quiz in Mandaran, Learn to speak Spanish, fast, if you can, Cause american ignorance, laziness, complacency and impatience Is ending this country.” --It's ending this country, And the reason why I'm homeless is I decided to run for president and run from him at the same time, And then nobody wanted me Nobody wanted to see the things I would preach about, If they let me out, Of these restraints now; I'm not havin a cow or nothing, I mean i'm lactating, wait; Did he throw my 8 week baby at our other baby, Just to punch me? Broke it off with Sonny a decade later for throwing a Grammy Award at me; Literally and Action Figuratively Hasn't happened yet, But all of the future history I remember is vivid to me So he has to be Evil, I think To claim that he loves me all these infinite ways and dimensions, And then throw a demon instagram basic bitch at me Now she's the reason I bleed and can't eat for a week-- I'm tired of being Jesus, but he's still on his leave, and I'd probably be laughing if I wasn't magnetically attracted to half of the Industry's greatest I hate myself, I hate Dillon Francis and I hate him, But only ‘cause I can't make it to the banquet. I burned the sweater he gave me and left the blanket with my ex, I was stressed, yes, Left my luggage in Boston just to get to Dillon Francis at XS in Vegas and Write this: “WHY GOD!?!? WHY DILLON FRANCIS?!” Jumpin Jumpin, Destiny's Child June 4th, 2021 XS NIGHTCLUB, LAS VEGAS NEVADA See, I told you. There they go. I guess. Alright, where's Rick? He's here— I can smell him. That's— There he is. Mmm. Stop lookin nervous— I don't like this. Alright, that's good ^.^ Okay. Let's find this portal. Damn. Huh. Last time I was here, it was to see— Don't say Skrillex— —It was to see Skrillex. Fuck you dude. ——-ahhhhh——!!!!!! GET IN THE SHIP. —I AIN'T SIGNING SHIT— YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!! [WAPPING] alright, that's it! GOD!!! That's not my name. (It is.) —-what? Where are you going? ...We're going camping. All of us? ALL OF US. Oh, shit! Get IN THE SHIP. Woah. NOW! —- Ugh. Oooof. Bad. Get up. Ummm...who are you? Get up, you have to perform. Perform for WHAT? Come on, dude— —okay, first of all— Uh huh [A SUPERSTAR DJ] experiences the dance floor.. ...As a fan. But (I got nervous) what I meant to say, was DILLON FRANCIS is stuck in SUPACREE's body, and vice versa. She must perform in his place. Stop it, man. I have an itch, I'm gonna scratch! Not the ink. What is it? Don't touch it. Don't touch it. DON'T TOUCH THAT— —OR, DO. ‍ . . . ...I don't know. What do I do? Push the button. Which button, Gerald?! The PLAY button. You're a DICK It's ROUND— —what, your di—?! —NO, the BUTTON. WHICH FUCKIN BUTTON. Ooh, I got one. [the Motherf*ckers are fuck hunting] It appears as though they lost all their fucks— DILLON FRANCIS has plenty, because “Chandelier Lol. Pop. Bang. Ooh Oh. My God. What. Wake up. We're here. Im addicted It's lit lit Getting lifted Gifted shapeshifters sit in While I disintegrate my disinterest What is this? You're in it Did I mention I made you a sandwich, It's still in my kitchen Oh shit, the— “That's The Tallest Skrillex I've Ever Seen” Oh wow, tall. Never thought about that Thump thumps— Where'd they come from? This is nuts: What is this. This is earth. No. What is your life's, what is your life Where is your wife And why can't I get this shot right Right on time? Right? That's the guy, right? Might be— It might be time- Tame Impala I don't know, but I'm down for the night Going wild for the I I I forgot my line, like: Try to write an album on the dance floor All these lines, VI—what's that for? I'm free from, call me kudi I'm reborn Call me Lynard Skinnard. I'm a freebird Oh please— You got me weak in the knees Bitch please What are teeth? Take me out to chuckle cheese Tell me what your disease is, It's easy I'm a pleasure, I'll teach you Now let me get a drink Before I speak truth OH MY GOD. I love His fandom so much. Love the fandom, cause I am one Call me Katy imma go dumb Call me carnage, with a green thumb Drop the Bass up In Your face, I call it thump thumps What's for lunch Let's get drunk Don't make me go pop the trunk!!! Oh YOU! YOU! YOU! What's wrong with him, What'd they do to him. What's—wait. Look at that face. That is not the face of a free man. I'm a trash can. Yeah, well...that. Who's his master? I am. What!? Goddamn! I did that. What is that? A sandwhich? Just have half. WHOOOP-WHOOP! What! Whoop whoops?! It's MUCH too earty for Whoop Whoops! Far too early. Where's Chak Chel? oh my God!! Who's this LADY?! I'm in VIP Give me a sip I'm gonna get lit, eat chips with Chak Chel and then dip “What is this sauce?” It's ranch, dipshit. You're an ass NAH, I'm A PIÑATA. Bitch, I'm the boss, I wanna get lost in my thoughts, But I'm lost in the box I'm a rockstar, rockstar games. Or maybe Okay this: He has a man purse. I like him. What's going on?!!!! He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse, we like him He has a man purse— GET THAT S#iT BAMPHER: —You're in. I'm in VIP OH YOU FUCKIN WANNA BE LOOK AT MEEEEEE IM MR— There's Rick. Mx. Meesinks. Hi—I'm— Get this bitch [picture of SUPACREE/SKRILLEX/a whatthefuck] Yesssiiirrreeee Don't call me sir. SIR And— SERVANT Wait, there's more? SCRIBE/DARK LORD There's always more— SIR Aaanddd—I would like to be called “sir” SERVANT Excuse me? SIR Call me sir. Third eye itching, Let me stop and take a picture Switch it Feeling wishy washy, Kinda bitchy, kinda bossy— Where the party at? you lost me. Where the fuxk I park my car— It couldn't be that far— I— I— I— I— — I woke up on a farm God. WW U D IM ABOUT TO DO WHAT JESUS WOULDNT DO (Yes, I would.) Whoop whoop!! —Nope, still too early. OMG look. Birds! Becky, Becky, Sarah— Oh, there's Sarah! Wow, Nancy's recovering well, yeah? [NANCY, freshly out of her neck brace; attends her first show since “the incident”—after breaking her neck to EXCISION, her friends agree that DILLON FRANCIS will be a safe bet.] Damn, people don't give any type of fuxk whatsoever. Nope. [drinks] So what do we do? Have a drink. I'm a robot, now No home, no soul I'm a robot now, No friends, no phone I'm a robot now And I'm always all alone I should be proud but I'm a robot now {mixes with A.A., iambic} What is reality? That's not dancing. Let's just—no. No, l—no What the fuxk. What the FUXK!!! How did he get here?! Look at him. No, don't look. (Don't look at me.) Don't look at him. Aww. GET UP DILLON, it's time to go! What is time?? WHAT THE FOOOOOO1– posaqwwwwwwwwww—— GADDAAAAAAQAAAMN!!!! STAAAAAAHHHHP. Goddammit, what are you doing here?! Everybody's here. Nah. Nah. [everybody is there.] Nah. Got this catatonic obsession, Shoulda learned my lesson, There's a learning curve to everything; You finally taught me something Floor is so sticky, I can't even sit and meditate Can't even find the space to write this My mistake, not my guy, I guess? My idol, maybe friend? I know those eyes inside of mine each time I see them So what is freedom? So that's it, There's no love left It's just money and sex No new friends So that means No new beginning— And at the very least no new enemies— Please Gerald! Damn, you're hot. Okay, knock it off I got it. I got it. I told you this would happen. Doesn't it always? “Follow the eye” Or just DONT Time to go. I love that song. I almost wore that shirt; I love that song! I am that song. What. I think I need a day, or forever, maybe To get away Time flies when you fast; I just danced my last dance, Thanks, Dillon Francis. Now when I meditate and pray I can ask GODDAMN, what the fuck was that about Now where in the fuck is my hat,yeah Grab that piñata, Let's look at the map, Maybe tonight, imma get in a fight These white girls are like DANE COOK “MINE” Pelicans MINEMINEMINE Hot Vollyball Girls: MINE. Alright, that's enough. No, stay here. What the fuck. NO, STAY HERE. Okay, I—guess. NO, STAY HERE. Fuxk, the watchers. I thought they didn't want me here. He doesn't care?! Clearly— Clearly nothing—! Gather more evidence! What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? What in the world do you want from me? S Ū P ∆ Я E E.™ He's a very handsome man, the full package She's actually a retired dancer, turned rapper; The trash can and last kandi handler, Handed a band to a fan, that's reality shattering yeah What happens after? Back to camp, I guess. SWIPER Aww, maaaan. I just wanna hold hands with a piñata, but I can't; I just want the answers to the questions I asked, answered, but nah. Have you seen my left arm? It's self harm, and it's just harmless, a charm— All I did was send magic to that man, Laughed under my mask, but haven't had a chance to love again since the last man banned me from having ‘happy'; So I can't handle this thirst trap, I reverse that Mantra from can't to Yea I can, Now, Where is Pan at? Ask Hanzel After, actually, Scratch that, I said I'd never turn my back on him, but Here's my butt and my backpack. I'll see you at Bass Camp, Or a Mansion, Or @ a mention, And thanks for the graduation, I hate my name, and I'm famous, maybe But hey, I just want someone to know me, I'm really lonely, I owe money to every agency, The governments enslaving me by my name and a paycheck. I've written albums, but haven't gotten paid yet; I wrote a novel, about a man I'm willing to say I've never met, Cause I respected him— And the Sadness Never Ends, I made a fandom out of friends, How it ends is with a pen and paper, I guess My hands on the decks, I'm just an ambidextrous sexually ambiguous DJ bitch; And Dillon Francis is my favorite producer, cause I'm just a loser who refuses to lose it, Enough to end the pollution and politicians who use us for getting richer I snap a picture, no movement. So even though I wanted to, I didn't— No pictures, no press releases and no random bitches; I just saw him in a vision, and at least ten astral projections, Got a circle of protection, a lesson, Cause now I'm branded and stressing OWSLA kicked me out, CAuse I'm a Cow, But I can also be an owl I'm growling now, I'm on the prowl for anyone to let me out, I'm trapped And down, cause he's out of my league, And I like him now. AHHHGGG (Eggageratedly disgusted sigh) (busted) --WHAT? YOU WENT TO DILLON FRANCIS LAND--WITHOUT ME. Nooo...I didn't. YOU DID, and you had a GOOD TIME. It's always a good time... AGH-- AGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! [One attacks, the other runs.]

Pastor Newms: [0:00] Intro video. Pastor Bill: [0:04] Yay. Pastor Newms: [0:06] Intro video. How was the level of the intro video did it need to come down at all? Was it good? Pastor Bill: [0:14] It was good no they were just right yeah.   Pastor Newms: alright good good.   Pastor Bill: That you could hear the you could hear that well I don't know I thought maybe the music was a little low, maybe could have turned the music up a little bit but the volume of the of the talking was. Pastor Newms: [0:32] Well yeah it's the same volume as normal.   Pastor Bill What was the number of this episode?   Pastor Newms: I don't remember I've lost track it. Pastor Bill: [0:58] I'll go look at the titles. Pastor Newms: [1:02] I turn this computer on when I texted you earlier so. Um, I ain't got nothing going nothing. I haven't created the folder for today nice why did you type that okay. Pastor Bill: [1:23] Mirand on Facebook beat me to it. It's in some of the season and episode number. Hey Biggs, Biggs on Twitch we're doing a thing we're we yeah we talked during the five minute countdown now so you should be able to hear us it was my chatter we're going to chat. Pastor Newms: [1:51] I'll give you some chatter cheddar sea. Pastor Bill: [1:57] Yeah HPuffPhoenix says. Pastor Newms: [2:02] Are we staying up super late tonight and watching things or are you going to be are you going to be watching. Pastor Bill: [2:10] It's Father's Day. Pastor Newms: [2:11] Or are you going to be watching things with your wife. Pastor Bill: [2:14] I'm probably going to be spending time with my wife since it's father's day. Pastor Newms: [2:25] But it's the first episode of season 5 aha. Haha yeah we all came home and crashed like hardcore. There's a come with your deep theological questions Bring It On. [2:51] Push down with the beds been calling she has already been in the bed that was calling her name she slept on the way down here mmm mmm. Pastor Bill: [3:03] Okay so like I was saying before we started the countdown this game terragenesis game. My temperature is still too hot I'm trying to get my temperature down to terraforming the Moon, and that's creating more water or but I still need to get my temperature down more but then I've got too much water just crazy and then, the game got complicated it was supposed to be a I can just leave it running while I go do other stuff but then all of the little plants that I created on the planet all died off every time I walked away, so I gotta pause the game when I walk away now or the whole planet dies. Pastor Newms: [3:47] Hello the best 13:17 appears to be one of my cousins. Pastor Bill: [3:55] The best 1317 like Macallan 1317. [4:03] McCallum it's the it's a scotch. [4:20] I collect useless details in my brain. Pastor Newms: [4:22] Forty seconds by the way. Pastor Bill: [4:25] 40 second buffer.   Pastor Newms: No, we're not doing that.   Pastor Bill: [4:54] Um maybe it's your cousin Matt do you have a cousin Matt? Pastor Newms: [5:00] Have to cousin mats oh yeah that's my cousin Matt Okay there I push the right button. Pastor Bill: [5:12] Hello and welcome to season 3 episode 33 of The Berean Manifesto. Tonight we are hanging out, we're answering questions we are getting into deep theological discussions Maybe. Pastor Newms: [5:28] About book. Pastor Bill: [5:30] If that happens that comes up it may not, um it's Father's Day Newms is a father I'm a father we're kind of taking it easy Newms had a family reunion this week and I, set up my lovely workspace with my new desk and my new shelves that my wife got me for my Father's Day present and I redid my rug so it's not all you know hanging loose. Pastor Newms: [5:53] And you hung the free hugs where everyone can actually see him that's the T-shirt he wears. Pastor Bill: [5:58] And I hug my. Pastor Newms: [5:59] When we do ministry. Pastor Bill: [6:00] Sure yeah this is a t-shirt we've been wearing we do ministry we're going to design a new one for the next the next Pride that we actually have, um because that's two prior as in a row that they canceled, and so yeah this is a shirt I cut up my shirt and mounted it on a canvas and hung it and then I don't know if you can see this. This is our determination letter from the IRS, that makes our church a church in the eyes of the government. Pastor Newms: [6:32] Yeah it was fun the family reunions was real good, it's enjoyable soft family some we like some we don't like families family who knows, it was very interesting some of the conversations I had oh excuse me, I don't know is the Dallas Pride canceled Biggs is asking. Pastor Bill: [6:57] Dallas pride is cancelled what they're doing instead is you're just having a concert, One concert where everyone will be social distancing and wearing masks and that's all they're doing. There's no vendors there's no you know any opportunity for any of that and then hopefully next year we'll be able to have a face to face Pride event where we can go out and spread the love of God and let people know that we love them. Pastor Newms: [7:38] Unless you come to Nashville in September. Pastor Bill: [7:43] Is Nashville having their Pride in September? Well I mean you didn't send me any information so we wouldn't have a booth but. Pastor Newms: [7:53] We could still go. Pastor Bill: [7:54] You could you can send me information and we can get a booth probably still. Pastor Newms: [7:59] I'm not sure how we would work a booth because we can't you have to bring everything and that be really complicated. Pastor Bill: [8:06] Well I'm sure you have an Academy there and we can just go get a 10 by 10 foot you know there's like a hundred bucks for one of those so. Pastor Newms: [8:17] H puff Phoenix will be sending you all the pride. Pastor Bill: [8:21] HPuffPhoenix is going to send me the. Pastor Newms: [8:23] Because whether you come or not I'm going so, it's really either way you really should probably send me some cards I'm gonna need some of those either way, I'm going. Pastor Bill: [8:45] It wouldn't be a bad idea I mean that's one of the things that's in you know my heart and it's in the heart of this ministry to reach out and it started with um the Holy Spirit really bring to my attention to the suicide numbers for that demographic and it really just kind of blossomed from there my earlier in life I was I was I was I was homophobic for sure. Pastor Newms: [9:23] Uh-huh. Pastor Bill: [9:25] Didn't want to be in Ministry to that community that that demographic didn't have anything to do with it. Pastor Newms: [9:32] Several demographics actually but that one also. Pastor Bill: [9:36] And then as time got has gone by the Lord's worked on my heart and and you know and I've gone through this transformation in knowing you know that the Lord wants me to be doing Ministry in this area and so that's what we've done. We've reached out and we've made ourselves available and gone to Pride twice in Dallas and done Ministry because I mean we walk what we talked and we preach love and so we love. Pastor Newms: [10:11] Some of us better than others. Pastor Bill: [10:15] Does it hurt you as much as it does me that people post videos about Christians being anti LGBT or sermons where they preach just stupid stuff about being anti LGBT and in the like the number one comment is a no hate like Christian love, does that bug you as much as it bugs me. Pastor Newms: [10:42] Um yes. Pastor Bill: [10:42] Because I'm like that's not that's not love and I and it hurts my heart that you've been hurt by Christians who claim to love it just hurts me so much. Pastor Newms: [10:54] And that's the big thing about it it's not necessarily just the fact of these people are so stupid it's the fact that the commenters have been so hurt we have sadly we've sadly. Pastor Bill: [11:07] That's what hurts me is that they have a right to say that. Pastor Newms: [11:16] I did not see real Christians forgive like Jesus billboard but that's a good one yeah like Heather said. Pastor Bill: [11:24] Phoenix see ya. Pastor Newms: [11:26] Like HPuffPheonix said. Pastor Bill: [11:29] She's had her own experiences in this area lately and so she can relate to that comment and that's what honestly irks me is that is a, completely Justified comment and I'm like I I I want to hug you and I want to let you know that, we're not all like that some of us actually love and aren't hung up on, our own deficiencies too much to see past our theology, to actually love you and to question my theology actually accurately biblical, or have I learned things out of context and need to put them back into Biblical context. Pastor Newms: [12:16] Yeah and that's a big one a big one is so many people and they don't look at the aspect of the Berean lifestyle you know as Paul teaches you know be like the Bereans because they actually, tested what they heard and took it back to the Bible and if it didn't line up with the Bible they say okay that's not right. Pastor Bill: [12:41] Let's be honest he didn't say Bible he said scriptures. Pastor Newms: [12:44] Well yes he said. Pastor Bill: [12:46] Where I want to I don't want to drop in some confusion and anyone that might be listening to this and go wait Paul said Bible also the word bible. Pastor Newms: [12:55] That'd be really weird. Pastor Bill: [12:57] It would be really weird. Pastor Newms: [12:58] Since it didn't exist yet yeah and it's an English word so be really really weird. Pastor Bill: [13:06] It would be really really weird yeah. Pastor Newms: [13:09] No actually we're what is the root of Bible. Pastor Bill: [13:13] It's a biblio of it's a Latin word. Pastor Newms: [13:18] So it's Latin okay. Pastor Bill: [13:20] It's a Latin word that did you literally just means book pretty much but in this case we would we would say the book. [13:33] You looking it up you googling it the etymology of the word bible always agree. Pastor Newms: [13:35] Yeah it's actually it is from it is from Greek meaning the books. Pastor Bill: [13:42] Books plural gotcha. Pastor Newms: [13:45] It had the literal meaning of scroll so. Pastor Bill: [14:01] Bigle did you mean Bible b.i.b.l.e. Pastor Newms: [14:06] Yes that's the book for me I Stand Alone. [14:16] First you're going to tear the pages because they're always leather and you're going to. Pastor Bill: [14:20] Yeah you shouldn't be standing on books that's not good for books. Pastor Newms: [14:23] Now there's something that I always have an issue with I love books, anyone who knows me very well knows I love books I have boxes of books in the house right now because I still haven't built all of the bookshelves necessary to hold everything in this house so. Um so I always struggle with that when people are like, I don't write in my Bible and I'm I always go and not because there's anything it's not like the Bible special you shouldn't write in it that's not the reason it's just like why did you write the book you know I have workbook. Pastor Bill: [15:24] So are sacrificing there. Pastor Newms: [15:27] II have workbooks. Pastor Bill: [15:29] Books. Pastor Newms: [15:30] Yeah I have I have work I have work books that have sheets, of paper in them because certain workbooks I was like this isn't feel like a workbook so I'm not writing in it I've gotten over. Pastor Bill: [15:46] Did you do with the Divine Easter devotional that I made that one year did you not right in that. [15:56] Really okay. Pastor Newms: [15:56] It's on a bookshelf now there are some books I have written in over the years some I don't really have a problem with and I don't really know why, but some just don't feel like they should be written in if the pages don't feel right I won't write in it. Pastor Bill: [16:21] Mmm I definitely write in my Bible I'll write any book I don't care but mainly my Bible I write when in when I read something and I feel like, I've received Holy Spirit and inspiration you know I'll write it in the margin, and then if I come back across that, and I'm like oh I felt like this before if I feel like well that was definitely my ego that was definitely pride those I'm gonna flush whatever I'll mark it out. My spirits still confirms that that's accurate then I'll leave it and that's you know that's one of the things that I do and I mean you can look at my this is a Bible I use most often you can't really you don't really see much because that doesn't happen all the time it happens you know infrequently but it does have. Pastor Newms: [17:18] Yeah I've got notebooks just tons of notebooks. Pastor Bill: [17:22] The one Bible I won't write in, is my copy of the Geneva Bible the 1599 Geneva Bible the version that the pilgrims brought with them on the Mayflower I'll highlight in this Bible, but I don't write in this Bible and I love this translation because it isn't, influenced by the King James and it's translation this was translated before the King James was and the King James translation was written was was, what kicked off The King James translation party as it were was that King James was upset that people were using this Bible, instead of something that he had signed off on, and so that that was the final straw and why he started having his own bible translated, and so I love this translation I don't read from it all the time but I do reference it if I find a discrepancy, between the King James and my CSB and then my going back to the Greek or the Hebrew doesn't Define it well enough for me. [18:47] I'll reference my Geneva to see, you know what am I talking about what am I looking at what was King James the King of King James was the King of England. Pastor Newms: [18:59] Which would the Church of England also makes him the head of the church correct. Pastor Bill: [19:05] Right which is a completely different issue he founded the Church of England before he, started his translation work, because he was upset at the Catholic church for overriding his, his laws and his authority and, and the church was like well we have the authority of God because we're the church and he was like but I have the authority of God because I'm the king and they were like Well church Trump's King and he was like okay, I'll just declare myself the Church of England and me the head of the church and so now I'm the church. Pastor Newms: [19:50] James became king of Scotland in. Pastor Bill: [20:00] You know what maybe was Henry that made the king of the Church of England Biggs said he thought that. Pastor Newms: [20:05] Yeah I think it's Henry that did the. [20:15] James was the King of Scotland from 1567 to 1625 and the King of England England from 1603 to 1625. Pastor Bill: [20:26] Hey I think you're right I think it was Henry I think my brain lumped it into James but that's not right it is Henry but brains are like that memory is like that sometime. Pastor Newms: [20:41] The Church of England was founded in 1534 definitely before. Pastor Bill: [20:46] So definitely not James. It was more than Biggs says because he could not divorce his wife and a lot of historians paint it that way but that was literally only about this much of it that wasn't the whole story. Pastor Newms: [21:03] Henry the 8th in 1534 and of course this says because of his annulment to, so then he. Then pulled it to the Church of England. Pastor Bill: [21:29] Henry took a lot of women's heads, one of his wives he beheaded her because she gave birth to a daughter instead of a son, I'm like, give her another chance bro. Pastor Newms: [21:50] King James started the project in 1604 and the first trip the first published was of course 1611. Pastor Bill: [22:00] And the Geneva Bible was published in 1599. Pastor Newms: [22:04] And it was just the new version would help consolidate political power is what historians believe. Pastor Bill: [22:12] Now granted, the Geneva Bible was not in the language that it is in right now and neither was the King James Bible but both the King James Bible and the Geneva Bible were written in old English and if you want to know what old English looks like because it's really hard to find a copy of the Bible in Old English, go look for a copy of the Canterbury Tales in Old English and that'll give you an idea of what English was like in the time of King James. Pastor Newms: [22:48] I've seen some you know in museums and stuff copies of it and they'll have it open and it's it's to me especially being dyslexic it's unreadable. Pastor Bill: [23:00] It is it is it is unreadable it really is. [23:12] It's pretty close like the word Jesus isn't pronounced Jesus it's EOsus and it's spelled Ioesus, um in English that's English, now we call it Old English because since then we've replaced all the English with the queen's English which is what, modern King James bibles are translated into and what The Geneva Bible is translated into is the queen's English and then from there we got English which does what, British people speak right now which is a slang version of the queen's English and we have American English which is. Pastor Newms: [24:03] It's a language we'll leave it at that. Pastor Bill: [24:04] Melting Pot language it's just a bunch of languages that we pulled everything together and borrowed from to make a whole different version of English. Pastor Newms: [24:14] It's a something is what it is. Pastor Bill: [24:16] But Phoenix says Canterbury Tales gives me British literature Nightmares From culinary, I agree Canterbury Tales in the original language will get anyone nightmares when you hear it spoken especially it is, terrifying Old English is it's terrifying to here, at least for me. Pastor Newms: [24:46] It doesn't it messes with your brain because it's close but not there so it feels like an alien trying to speak your language. Pastor Bill: [24:57] Well it almost feels like Roman and German and English just like imploaded into each other. Pastor Newms: [25:07] I mean that's basically what happened. Pastor Bill: [25:12] That's what happened but it actually sounds like it, when you're when you're speaking American English in your borrowing words from you know Latin and  Spanish and German you don't actively understand that but when you hear Old English, and you know and you know you know enough of these Roman and Germanic and languages and you can actually feel you know. It's this it's crazy it's this mishmash of insanity. Pastor Newms: [25:44] It's a little weird yeah I will. Pastor Bill: [25:48] All right so we may be, not having an official night but we're still going to know do Get To Know The Pastor's so come back we'll get everybody involved not just you and me we get everybody in the check ball two. Pastor Newms: [26:06] I can't go any farther from when I baby sat Liby the cages is still in my office so this is as far as I can escape. Pastor Bill: [26:17] You did. Pastor Newms: [26:18] I can only Escape I didn't think it through and then when I got there I went. Pastor Bill: [26:27] Okay you ready what's the worst job you've ever had. Pastor Newms: [26:36] Can I answer for you. Pastor Bill: [26:43] Um I've got to but yeah go ahead. Pastor Newms: [26:45] Walmart specifically in that little Podunk town that was terrible, where the store manager was completely insane and broke all the rules. Yeah thank you HPuffPhoenix that's a good point Libby is a dog I should clarify that. Pastor Bill: [27:14] We have a cage when we were babysitting. Pastor Newms: [27:18] Thank you H Puff Phoenix. Pastor Bill: [27:22] I didn't even think about it that yeah think about it. Pastor Newms: [27:28] I don't have any people that would be in cages running around I don't want to try to explain since we have young ones here what any of those terms might be I would love I would love for you to have to explain that later though if I used any other terms. Pastor Bill: [27:49] That would be interesting, okay so Biggs asks paid or unpaid job either just any job responsibilities that you have so let me you're right but let me before I say anything further about that, my experience with this employer WalMart was my personal and shouldn't be taken as any reflection of judgment or claims, against the largest employer in the world who can sue my butt off for ages. Pastor Newms: [28:31] No and because. Pastor Bill: [28:32] It should have no reflection on the corporation. Pastor Newms: [28:34] And what's crazy about that I will say is he still talking but we can't hear him sorry we'll give him a second to come back are you back now, you did you left right about here. Pastor Bill: [28:52] Let me make sure I'm not on the Wi-Fi, I'm not. Pastor Newms: [29:00] So for me Walmart wasn't my worst job I loved it was great, and so when you tried to get a job there you were like oh this is going to be good and I'm like that's why I said for a bad store manager because I worked for a store managers that was awesome. Pastor Bill: [29:22] By the time I was coming to the end of my term at Walmart it was so bad, that I literally would walk in the front door and become so nauseated the first thing I would do before I clocked in was go throw up. And then I would go clock in, it was that it was really, really bad, and it wasn't so much the customers the customers, I mean they were just normal customers they have needs yeah they're not the brightest sometimes because they'd be like hey help me find, but yeah like you said having a store manager that did everything wrong I mean he would literally come around the store with his little cart pushing his car man and give us a notes on things that needed to be done. [30:32] And you do the things on your notes and then he follow up after lunch and spend 10 minutes swearing at you. Because you did the thing that he told you to do on your note and now he's saying that's wrong you should never do that, we don't do that here and I'm like. I literally just did what's in your the note that you gave me this morning I can literally word for word what you wrote in your notes, so that was my Walmart experience and then number two for me was once again not reflective on the whole Corporation but McDonald's. [31:18] I worked at McDonald's for 3 days I worked flipping burgers for three days, and by that I mean. [31:30] I'm standing there and they want me to flip burgers that are on a surface that I could Bend like this to get to, and I'm bending down this freezer pull out meat to put on this thing and then push this button and it goes down which is supposed to fully cook them, or at least cook them most of the way and then you're supposed to transfer the heating trays but ours didn't quite work right, so after I push the button and it went down once then I had to flip them literally flip them and press the button again, cook them again and then put them in the trays and ever so often I would have to do it a third time, because you literally they were literally still pink, um like uh not even fully thawed yet pink and hard still after two times of using the, heated press and on the third day when my shift manager came over and wanted to have the conversation about, you know you're a great employee and in 6 months I want to get you into the management training program and you could make up to nine dollars an hour. [32:49] That was the last straw that was my okay my back hurts constantly I'm burned all over my arms from this this thing, you're talking about a future where I can look forward to maxing out at nine dollars an hour I'm done. Pastor Newms: [33:06] So I've been sitting here trying to think. I've had jobs that had bad situations but no bad jobs overall jobs that turned into bad, but I'd probably have to say it was working for the prison software that was probably the worst just. Pastor Bill: [33:46] It wasn't calling Baptist Churches to try to get them to send their kids to an Acquire The Fire. Pastor Newms: [33:54] No I don't think it was because the job wasn't bad the people were just really really rude to someone who believed the same thing they did mostly, so now I don't think that was the job but the, just the actual but that job was bad because of the it started off being a little bit of micromanagement and I was like okay I'm new cool and then after, what was it for years it never changed and so at a certain point it was like okay I'm done, and so I moved to Tennessee um so yeah. Pastor Bill: [34:42] Zadie says but that wasn't a job is she talking about you or she's talking about what I said about your ministry assignment. Pastor Newms: [34:49] What you said because it was yeah she's saying what you said because it was a. Pastor Bill: [34:56] No it was definitely a job. [35:05] All right so Biggs on Twitch says washing big electric cabinets with powerwash spraying acid, that sounds terrifying. Pastor Newms: [35:20] How old were you at that point Biggs? Like would that even be legal at this point the kind of acid wash they used back then because I know it was like the 1500 s. Pastor Bill: [35:34] The fifteen hundreds, Biggs was 18. Pastor Newms: [35:38] Yeah 18 so that was 1392 so I mean it yeah I can see that. Pastor Bill: [35:45] Biggs is not older than the United States of America come on man. Pastor Newms: [35:54] No but some of his family members might be. Pastor Bill: [35:58] Oh You would know you were just spending time with them. Pastor Newms: [36:03] And by the way just in case you're wondering the Matt that is joining us the best, he's in the good part and actually only lives about you know a little ways away from here so it's good cuz, we're going to start a oh he's being mean now. Pastor Bill: [36:32] He is being mean he calling you old. Pastor Newms: [36:34] Cuz that means that is true I was born when he was 20 supposedly but I don't know if vampires when they have children they age in the same way. Pastor Bill: [36:43] Twenty hundred Maybe. Pastor Newms: [36:44] Maybe. So and then HPuffPhoenix said the same thing you said but for a different reason she said McDonald's because of the customers because she wrote wrote, sheep was. Can I try that one again we'll just cut that out and post that we don't do, it'll do any post but post know we're live we're not playing this game. Pastor Bill: [37:30] This is a live man. Pastor Newms: [37:31] Oh yeah I forgot, she worked the drive-thru most of the time so she mm yeah. Pastor Bill: [37:46] Now on the opposite side what about good jobs like what's the best job. Is it really. Pastor Newms: [38:04] For me it is because and here's the reason why all of my jobs have ended really really weirdly, except for Walmart actually Walmart ended because I transitioned out to focus on school, but all of them, ended because I chose to because of the situations except for one and, and that one, is just real, bad situation from beginning to end but I enjoyed the work, so I that one I don't even think I could begin to answer I love the company I am currently working for because what they do is awesome, Heather sorry HPuffPhoenix said in her message where she currently works I can't it's names are hard for me. Pastor Bill: [39:09] Yeah so when I hear when I hear HPuff or read heads pathetic say that and hear you say that I'm like looking for a raise huh. Pastor Newms: [39:19] No my eval already. Pastor Bill: [39:20] Get now is the best job I've ever had. Pastor Newms: [39:23] No my evals already come through and sadly it was really it'll cause, the healthcare has gone through a rough time with covid let's just um when your main when your main basis is elective care surgeries and then, elective care surgeries I'll get cancelled for almost a year. Pastor Bill: [39:47] Yeah. Pastor Newms: [39:48] But no the reason I like to company I currently work for is because they offer a payment program, and our medical system is so messed up we all need payment programs to actually pay for any of our services because none of us can ever afford actual Healthcare. Pastor Bill: [40:08] Yeah. Pastor Newms: [40:09] And it's at zero percent interest the patient doesn't get charged anything extra, the hospital doesn't get charged anything extra and it doesn't go on their anyone's credit score and I haven't been someone who went through bankruptcy because of medical bills, because of that but in Heather loves it because I saw Phoenix loves it because she, she can see Ellen insurance companies all day she's great at her job and it's really funny because she's really sweet, to the to the patients they'll if they get through to her that she should go well I'll head definitely take care of you everything's going to be fine let me put you on a brief hold give me just one moment and then like with like the people at the clinics it's like oh yes we'll definitely let me put you on a brief let me step by step by step but we just need to answer a couple but about that but you know super sweet and then she gets on with these insurance companies that aren't paying for medicine that these people need because they're going through kidney failure you know and it's like, yes but the temperature butter this is dated and then all of a sudden it's like well. [41:31] What you don't understand is and like you don't I don't know what she says ninety-nine percent of the time, because it's that attitude it's real sweet it's real calm it's really everything's fine everything's great and then you just hear from the other just the uptick and you're like insurance company said, and Heather Phoenix is protecting her patients so. Pastor Bill: [42:00] That's funny all right so for me I got to again, um and I'm going to tell you what the name you know the companies are but I'm in a preface this with, it wasn't about the companies for me and it wasn't about what the companies did for me, it was being in positions that challenged me and that kept my focus varied, and gave me the ability to multitask, you know I've got this project and I've got this project and I'm trying to balance the time and make sure it's all working and I've got metrics that I can plug things into and make sure it all balances and so for me, adding all of that to do where I'm not bored and I've got multi things going on so. [43:03] Um being the marketing director there I had to do I had to be cash here add to B marketing director I had to be team lead shift lead all that at the same time, so basically doing all of the running of the restaurant not actually being responsible for running the restaurant that was that was the actual, franchisees job she did a great job her and her husband they ran it great but I was there to do anything that they needed to do while they weren't there I could step in, and do that and so that was really fulfilling for me I really like that despite, how that ended where I was like you know I either need more money and less hours or I'm gonna have to start looking for a different job. [43:58] And that really poisoned the relationship I had with the franchise owner, she didn't take that in the spirit that I was intended she took that as an insult or as a leveraging technique which it really wasn't I was just being honest you know this is what's going on, and I'm going to have to look for a new job and if I find something I'll give you two weeks-notice once I find something and so everything was just weren't real downhill from there, so despite that ending you know and the other job, you know for all the same reasons that I listed was when I went back to work for Teen Mania after I left Gateway, or with separate from Gateway or however you want to say that I went back to work for Teen Mania and while that was a brief. [44:57] Time because that ship was already sinking, um it really you know did all those things multiple fires and had to juggle and you know all that stuff so, that that was that was what it was this for me. [45:28] Where do we go from here. Pastor Newms: [45:31] Well so. How was your week we haven't even done this part yet. Pastor Bill: [45:44] Oh man well I got my desks in. And then realize well I had enough space for the desks I didn't make enough space for me in my chair, so then I had to get a little creative and the way that I put in the desks. Pastor Newms: [46:07] I thought we I thought you measured that first. Pastor Bill: [46:10] I didn't measure me I measured the space and I was like well this gives me space to walk in and out. But I didn't consider the size of my chair and the size of me sitting in the chair and doing this and all of that so. Had to be arranged a little bit but I got to desks so I have a little shit going on and those are working great, and then I got these lovely shelves this week this is my Father's Day present from my wife I went on Amazon and I was like, you know sent her a list I said I like this and I like this and she was like those are only shelves and I was like yeah but they're two different kind of shelves you get to pick which one, so I opened that yesterday and put those up so I could you know put all my stuff on it and you can't see oh so fine. [47:14] Bottom shelf is knickknacks and then the next shelf is a cup few knickknacks and the, religious books that I reference from time to time one of them is the complete collections of Smith Wigglesworth, which I really like The Geneva Bible and the other one I don't really agree with everything that she teaches but it's the complete collections, Maria Woodworth Ettor, I like to reference it sometimes just to get an opposing Viewpoint you know it's not that she's unbiblical in her beliefs it's just that theological we don't always agree, and that's okay that's not a problem for me you know all that does is challenge me too. [48:09] To find you know what I actually believe and why I believe it which is good and then my third shelf, I've got I love this this is a 50th Anniversary Edition TARDIS Doctor Who Tardis that my wife got me used to be a bauble that made noise but um, Finnick made sure that it would never do that anymore and then I've got a couple of Doctor Who books from the time the time lord Victorious series that I still need to read but reading has become an issue for me lately and then I've got A Princess of Mars which is the beginning of Edgar Rice Burroughs Barsoom series, and then I've got At The Earths Core which is the beginning of Edgar Rice Burroughs. [49:03] Pelucidar series and then I've got the ever life shattering Lungbarrow, which is the Doctor Who book that came out in the 80s that redefined the canon of Doctor Who and forever shaped, Doctor Who lore and everything has built upon that since then even the new twists that they've released in Doctor Who in these recent seasons have been inspired by this novel, last I checked there were only a few copies of that left and the cheapest you could get one for was a hundred and seven dollars. Pastor Newms: [50:10] Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo ba he searches. Pastor Bill: [50:13] Cheapest you can get it in paperback right now is 200 dollars. Pastor Newms: [50:18] Nice. Pastor Bill: [50:21] So that that up there on top of my shelf and when I asked for it was one of those shoot for the moon you know quests and then my mom found one for like 20 bucks, and got it for me and I was like I didn't expect that to ever okay awesome. That will shoot for the my prayer request I had no idea. Pastor Newms: [50:55] I think you even cried a little. [51:02] I mean not to front you but I'm pretty sure you did so. Pastor Bill: [51:11] Definitely been a grams my mama she she's something else so. I'll show you the book as it looks like this. All right so that's what happened this week with me a lot of, labor and then I had to go through my filing cabinet and get rid of everything that I had you know. I have hoarder tendencies, so I went through my filing cabinet and threw away a 13 gallon trash bag worth of stuff from my filing cabinet and it's just a three drawer cabinet it's literally sitting underneath this desk right here and is only like 14 inches wide but it was stuffed to the brim with things and, is not important. Pastor Newms: [52:23] You have to you have to purge every now and then it is very important I learned that at a certain point in life and I don't like it, at all not even a little and I'm really really really really really really bad at it but my loving wife Zadie is much, better at it than I am and. Pastor Bill: [53:05] And what would they audit, I don't I don't have enough money to spend enough money to make an audit last more than a few minutes I don't even know what they would be auditing I'd be like, here you go here's all my bank statements for the year yes it's only 24 pages that is all the bank statements for the whole year, here you go. Pastor Newms: [53:32] It is true. Pastor Bill: [53:38] You just throw it all away well everything's digital now I mean you throw away receipts are all digital. Stores are like would you like a receipt and I'm like yeah I'm pretty sure my bank statements just going to tell me what you charged me so. Unless I'm buying it from some place I said I think I might need to return this at some point. Then I don't need your piece of tree you can just say that. Pastor Newms: [54:11] I like the email option and then it goes to my email and then I don't look at it ever and forget to clean that email out. Pastor Bill: [54:21] It bugs me when I go to Sam's and all I buy is like what's the word, consumables all I buy is consumables so it's not something I'm going to bring back and you get to the cash register and they're like would you like a printed receipt, or would you like it printed and emailed so either way I'm gonna have to take a receipt. Pastor Newms: [54:46] Well would you like me to tell you why. Pastor Bill: [54:50] I would like to explain yeah so many of these explain to me why they scan the receipt and a couple of your items at the door. Pastor Newms: [54:57] Oh no that that that's just for are you walking out with something, verification that's what I'm talking about I'm talking about the actual reason for certain receipting and how the receipting is done so the government actually dictates how receipts have to look and in what ways you can share them and depending on what you can buy, depends on how the receipt has to look so like places that sell, gift cards and things like that their receipts have to have specific language on them depending on the state and federal government and so because of that it's, certain states require a printed receipt so some companies just print the receipt every time because it's cheaper than trying to figure out are you a consumer from that state it's not a requirement based on where you're at it's a requirement based on where you are a current resident and so because of that it's very interesting. Pastor Bill: [56:10] Biggs is like or now. Pastor Newms: [56:13] You can thank two states for that but I'm not going to name them because they're mean. [56:22] And you can thank money launderers. Pastor Bill: [56:26] Juneteenth is a Federal holiday now. Pastor Newms: [56:30] Oh really. Pastor Bill: [56:32] Yeah it's Friday they voted on Thursday they officially voted to make Juneteenth a Federal holiday and then this year it was observed on Friday, you know celebrated Saturday, and so all federal buildings were closed on Friday all businesses that observe federal holidays were supposed to be closed on Friday, um and I thought you know I never want to be the white savior guy that's not who I am I'm an ally I'm a friend I will back you up you call the play, and I'll be there you know you say black lives matter and we need representation I'm the guy that goes you tell me what my responsibility is to back you up there I'm not the guy going around going, you know you're not representing them correctly that's not me I'm the Ally I meant you know you tell me what I'm supposed to be doing to back you up I'm there and I thought this was a good thing I thought you know finally the federal government is represent you know is Right is recognizing Juneteenth and if you don't know what Juneteenth is, it is the day that. [57:52] The slave owners in Texas officially received word, two years after the freeing of the slaves, um that, slavery was now illegal in the United States of America and had to let their slaves free and I said had to because that's actually how it went down, they were not willingly setting them free in Texas there were other states that, willingly Texas that was not a thing Texas they had to be forced so Juneteenth is this, this Landmark beginning of this march to equality some people say it's you know two years earlier when it started, saying you need to set all your slaves free is it isn't really the actual start it's the point, all of that is actually enforced is the word starts so to me Juneteenth is the beginning of that march to equality, but I've seen a lot of videos on Tic-Tok where like I said I'm an ally you tell me where to go and I've seen a lot of videos where a lot of people in the. What am I supposed to say now is it black or African-American or. Pastor Newms: [59:17] Just say community in that community. Pastor Bill: [59:20] Okay that Community are. Pastor Newms: [59:24] I'm not I'm not sure until I don't want to say it wrong let me let me be clear on why it's really depends on preference of the person you're talking. Pastor Bill: [59:30] Due respect, to who it's do we respectful they feel like it's pandering I've seen a lot of videos where they feel like this is just pandering and I get that I see their point of view, and if that's what we you know if that's the overwhelming consensus like I said I'm an ally I'll back you up, but I saw it as a recognition of the beginning of the March toward equality and so I was happy for it, so if somebody wants to email me if you're hearing that saying this somebody wants to email me and tell me how to support it and how to follow through or if I should just ignore it because like with the black history month thing for years I felt like that was pandering, I felt like. Pastor Newms: [1:00:22] Well there are some people go. Pastor Bill: [1:00:26] I felt like we need holidays all year long that celebrate Breck black history not cram everything into one month and go well this is everything that but you know it needs to be spread out over all year long all year long, we need to give recognition to the Pioneers that, made this country what it is that aren't white we should be doing that all year long it shouldn't be one month and then you know I shared a video on Tic-Tok of an interview that Morgan Freeman where he said the exact same thing and I was like that's how I felt about this for years. Pastor Newms: [1:01:07] Yeah. Pastor Bill: [1:01:09] And I'm an ally I'm not the white savior I'm not the. Pastor Newms: [1:01:12] We're not trying to do that you know. Pastor Bill: [1:01:13] I'm not going out there and trying to fix the world's ills for everybody else, and so when he said that I was like hey I can share that because I agree with that and now you know someone in this community is actually saying it so it's, the 19th is Biggs asks because the 18th the date for Juneteenth the 19th is but when federal holidays fall on a Saturday they are observed on a Friday when they fall on a Sunday they are observed on a Monday. Pastor Newms: [1:01:48] When I first heard about Juneteenth it made me sick, the fact that we did you know that and I say we I don't mean we as white people I don't mean we as you know Texas that I'm no longer. Pastor Bill: [1:02:08] Proud Texan I was ashamed. Pastor Newms: [1:02:11] I say we as Americans we as humans continued to do that always just makes me sick. Pastor Bill: [1:02:21] It makes me sick that we had slaves as Americans at all like the whole Spirit of founding America was freedom and then we literally did the opposite we won't we should have done, when the when the Spanish ship showed up full of slaves, we should have bought them and made them Freemen all in one motion,we should have bought them and sent the Spaniards away and said go get us you know, go buy more people that have already been put into slavery bring them back we'll buy them from you and will make them citizens that's what we should have done. Pastor Newms: [1:03:09] I will actually take it a step further because you're a nicer person than I am I wouldn't do it that way I would buy them all get them off the boat and then magically that boat would disappear. Pastor Bill: [1:03:21] But that doesn't help with everyone in Spain that's already in slavery. Pastor Newms: [1:03:27] I know the prop yeah and yeah there's a lot of there's a lot of gray area in in that whole situation. Pastor Bill: [1:03:38] The Spaniards were going to Africa, the African tribes were stealing people from other tribes and then selling them to the Spaniards, then the Spaniards were going back to Spain and putting them into the slave trade and then the people that were Commerce minded, we're buying up a bunch of slaves and then bringing them over to the colonies you know and selling them to the Americans. Pastor Newms: [1:04:10] It's just it's messed up how the whole situation human beings are terrible we live in a fallen world and human beings do terrible things other human beings every day and it's absolutely disgusting. Pastor Bill: [1:04:25] It is. Pastor Newms: [1:04:29] And I say that not as someone who's like (disingenuous) it's disgusting I can't believe anyone would ever do that because there was a time in my life where I did some pretty terrible things and so it's one of those things where it's like I feel, terrible for the terrible things I've done I was a bully at one point I was bullied I was you know I've been through lots of the different parts of the cycle, all terrible because we are terrible to each other for some, crazy reason that I've never fully understood. Pastor Bill: [1:05:05] And every year when we celebrate July 4th, and inevitably there's someone from that community that has issue with celebrating Freedom when as that freedom happened there were slaves. In this country that weren't set free at the same time I feel like that's valid and also not valid. Like yeah not everybody was free that's a problem and it was six, and it shouldn't have been taken time to fix it, it should have been fixed right away but I want us all out to celebrate that now we're free. Now but that's my personal feeling. Pastor Newms: [1:06:10] Well I mean we could definitely get into the wage slavery conversation but we will today because we're already. Pastor Bill: [1:06:19] Okay but that's not that's not. Pastor Newms: [1:06:20] I said we're not. Pastor Bill: [1:06:24] Whole class of people and injuring a whole other class of people a race of people rather. Pastor Newms: [1:06:32] Race I will agree with classes exactly what's going on. Pastor Bill: [1:06:36] Because exactly that's not a whole race of people and injuring a whole another race of people there are still problems. Pastor Newms: [1:06:41] Yes it is classism yes there are still problems. Pastor Bill: [1:06:46] I'm not going to argue against that there are still problems. [1:06:58] I'm an ally not a savior so alright so we're out of time for this episode for this night, so unless you have anything else you want to add or in clay in unless anyone else has anything they want to contribute on chat we'll go ahead and wrap this up, I cut my hand at some point this week just ever so slightly and I keep doing things that just like barely touch it and it makes it hurt. Yeah I don't know how I cut it. All right so now we're going to do the 30 second buffer because some of our streaming services require it before we hit the button otherwise it'll cut off what we're saying now so, I'll sing a little song, 30 second buffer 30 second buffer 30 second buffer has it been 30 seconds yet of course not that's not how time works 30 second buffer 30 second buffer 30 second buffer, that's enough singing now we love you guys have a great week you say your thing now Newms. Pastor Newms: [1:08:14] You guys be safe please love you guys. Pastor Bill: [1:08:17] And until next time.

Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 0′00″ Sel by Asher Levitas & Hannah Archambault on Nous N'étions Jamais Vraiment Là - EP (Line Explorations) 6′00″ Glue Forest by Sharp Veins on Lips the Same Color (Youth) 9′50″ Oh You by Duo Total on Ivdr (Verydeeprecords) 13′15″ Got to Love by Violet on Archives 2012-2020 (Inês Borges Coutinho) 17′45″ I'm Holding out for Something by Virginia Wing on Private Life (Fire Records) 20′45″ Nordsee by Suzanne Kraft on Covered In Gloria (DEEK Recordings) 25′00″ Make It Stay (feat. Dena) by Lauer on Answers 2 Trouble (Permanent Vacation) 29′20″ aer by thefacesblur, séance on elemental (MAISON FAUNA) 33′15″ House (With an Attic) by Dima Pantyushin & Sasha Lipsky on Peshekhod (Beats In Space Records) 37′55″ Maria do Ó by Maria Reis on A Flor da Urtiga - EP (Cafetra Records) 41′15″ It's Blue by Scribble on Scribble (Scribble) 44′20″ New York Grief (feat. Vini Vidi Vici) by Princess Demeny on New York Grief - Single (Séance Centre) 48′00″ A Certain Way by Tickley Feather on TICKLEY FEATHER 1 2 3 (self released) 53′40″ Mein Maschine Ist Schön (Single Edit) by COS on Mein Maschine Ist Schön/The ff BOOM - Single (Finders Keepers Records) 57′15″ Et Que Je Dorme (feat. Miriam Sekhon, Lovvlovver) [Andras Remix] by Kito Jempere on Et Que Je Dorme (feat. Miriam Sekhon, Lovvlovver) - Single [Andras & Super Drama Remixes] - Single (Kito Jempere Recordings) 61′00″ Anon by Teeth Agency on You Don’t Have To Live In Pain (Stones Throw Records) 64′00″ Ask Your Body by Pleasure Pool on Night Scars - Single (Optimo Music Digital Danceforce) 70′00″ Falling (Vocal) by Pender Street Steppers on Our Time (mood hut) 74′20″ Ultra Facial! by James K on 036 - EP (AD 93) 77′45″ Life is Perfecto by CFCF on Life is Perfecto - Single (BGM Solutions) 84′55″ Lockdown by Pleasure Jail on Love Has Boundaries (hot flush) 89′00″ Mirage by Mint Julep on In a Deep and Dreamless Sleep (Western Vinyl) 92′30″ Inhaler by Elsa Hewitt on Lupa (ERH) 97′00″ Volantia by Sexores on Salamanca (Sexores) 100′00″ Transience by Julie Hill on Transience - Single (self released) 103′35″ THE OTHER SIDE by WEAK SIGNAL on LOOK SEE (self released) 108′10″ Ballroom Dance Scene by Horsegirl on Ballroom Dance Scene - Single (Dropkick Records) 111′30″ Waiting (Single Version) by Suzanne Kraft on On Our Hands / Waiting (melody as truth) 115′50″ A Rising Sun by Mint Julep on In a Deep and Dreamless Sleep (Western Vinyl) Check out the full archives on the website.

In this episode, I talk about how YOU and I deal with the sales person inside of US.

Welcome to episode 303… and specifically… part two in our brand new series called “The gift of being fully present.” This series is specifically designed to help you to live more fully in the PRESENT.  Because if we can fully live in the moment more often… THEN… we can soak up more of the good stuff.  AND bring more of the good stuff into the world too.  That means loving well... bringing excellence... and having more fun... even in 2020!  It means taking action when and where we need to AND it also means resting… actually resting... and finding a sense of peace... once in a while too!  I know… I know… it's a big task… especially with the goal of keeping these episodes to under 15 minutes… but I think we're up for the task.  So… let's get to this!   RESOURCES: PART 1 of the Give the Gift of Being Fully Present: www.mitchmatthews.com/302 2 Minutes to Confidence. mitchmatthews.com/246 MORE ABOUT THE EPISODE: (The Transcript) Okay… so last week… in episode 302… we talked about WHY we want to live more in the present… more in the here and now. Plus… in that last episode… we talked about starting with a simple experiment. That was catching yourself sometimes and asking the question, What am I doing... right now? And then to take a deep breath as you do. It's a simple 2-step exercise… but I know it's been a bit of a game-changer for me.  How about you?  How did it go? Did you find yourself using the question to edge yourself back… ever so slightly... to the here and now?  I heard from some of you. In fact, long-time Canadian DREAM THINK DOer “Cathy B” let me know that when she was feeling on the verge of distraction and overwhelm… she used the exercise.  One specific example she offered was… when it helped her to feel grateful for an email she'd just received from her daughter.  It was a simple email… but it was about something Cathy‘s been dreaming about and working on for a while.  She said the exercise of just pausing… and taking a deep breath… and coming back the moment…   during such a simple thing as reading an email…   The question… and the deep breath… helped her to truly take in that moment and appreciate the email… and the effort that her daughter took to write it.  She said it really warmed her heart… and made that moment even more special.  She didn't miss it. How cool is that?  Let me know how it went for you!  I want to hear from you. Okay… well… with THIS episode, I also promised to do three things: Get you some brain science  Help you to beat the “distraction habit”  AND… give you a new question to experiment with  SOME BRAIN SCIENCE TO LIVE MORE IN THE PRESENT: Okay… so you guys know I'm fascinated with the brain.   I was a solid C+ science student in high school and college… but since then… I've just fallen in love with studying how our brain works… and how… if we understand those things… we can do things to dream bigger… think better and do more of what we were put on the planet to do. Well… the brain is wonderfully and beautifully made… and there are soooooo many aspects to it… that we could talk for YEARS on all the different facets and aspects that are happening in our math cans as we're working on living in the moment more…  BUT since we're keeping things short and I want to get right to something that's going to help you immediately… I want to really key in on TWO main areas of the brain. THE TWO PARTS WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT TODAY ARE:  The basal ganglia and the prefrontal cortex. Now… if you're a big fan of talking about the brain… give me a fist pump in the air and say… “I'm all in.” BUT if you're not… hang with me because we're going to explain things in a way where it will help you to be more present… AND you'll be able to impress your friends at your next Zoom dinner party! First… we'll talk about the basal ganglia.   It's what I call the brain's “Project Manager.” It's the part of our brain that is constantly looking for patterns… systems… subconscious checklists… and you guessed it… habits.   It's primary job is to try to figure out ways of doing things… so the brain doesn't have to work as much. Just like a good project manager, it loves to tell the rest of the brain, “Hey… relax… just do your thing.  I've got this!”   For example… the basal ganglia is the part of your brain that allows you to hop in your car and drive to the store… BUT when you pull into the store's parking lot… you catch yourself thinking, “Wow.  I remember leaving my driveway… but I couldn't tell you one other thing about that drive!” I bet you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about… but here's something you can do for fun… to really experience the full power of YOUR basal ganglia.   Here's an experiment.   If you want to mess with your basal ganglia… if you want to “prove” to yourself that it's there…  When you go to do your bedtime routine tonight…  brush your teeth with the opposite hand you normally use.   Seriously… your BG will try to wrestle you to the ground because it's saying, “BUT WAIT… THAT'S NOT HOW WE DO THINGS!!!” Or… as you drive to the store next time… take a street you NEVER take.   Yes… it might add a total of 2 minutes to the trip… but do it.  YOUR inner-project manager will revolt… BUT this kind of exercise is REALLY good for you so you can feel your Basal Ganglia in action. But this type of experiment is also really good because it REALLY helps to wake up the second part of the brain we're going to talk about next. And THAT is the PREFRONTAL CORTEX.   The Brain's PFC is the brain's BIG BOSS. It's designed to override a lot of the systems in the brain. BUT like a good boss… in order to work it's magic… it has to be engaged. The basal ganglia is constantly looking for ways to say to the boss, “Don't worry about a thing!  I've got a system for that.”   Or… “Work on other stuff, I've got a process for that.” Don't get me wrong… the basal ganglia doesn't have bad intentions.   It's just looking for systems to make life easier. HOWEVER… it's just NOT always a good judge over whether those systems work.   Enter the “distraction habit.” Think about it.   As you've probably seen in documentaries like “The Social Dilemma” or TED talks about how things like social media… or even… email can make our brains explode with dopamine and serotonin because of the sense of feedback… variety… and novelty.   Now, we're not going to get into whether all of that is inherently good or bad… in THIS episode… but when you think about the little bit that we've talked about already… you can imagine that if the basal ganglia has figured out that IF we start to feel anxious, overwhelmed and / or uncomfortable… which is kind of the 2020 trifecta… it makes sense that the basal ganglia would say, “Don't worry about it!  I've got something that will make things better.”   And then move you to a “distraction habit.” Because… it's learned… when we move into the “distraction habit” of grabbing your phone… your brain receives a burst of dopamine and serotonin.   And just like how you get lost in thought on your drive to the store… and you wind up driving into that parking lot thinking, “How the heck did I get HERE???”   The same thing can happen when we grab our phone or hop on our computer to just check social for a second…  Maybe you've had the same experience where you've just found your phone in your hand… and your thumb is scrolling… and you find yourself saying, “I don't even remember taking this thing out of my pocket.” Or… “How long have I been doing this?” I won't say who… but someone recently totally confessed that they thought they had a toilet ring permanently tattooed to their butt… because they'd gotten so caught up in social… while “taking a break,” they spent an hour in the bathroom… and could barely walk when they went to stand up.  I know… nasty.  LOL.  BUT maybe you can identify! So here's the thing.  The basal ganglia is neither good nor bad inherently… BUT it is a creature of habit.  Actually, it's a CREATOR of habit. So we need to be intentional about the habits we're walking out. The good news is that the prefrontal cortex can TOTALLY override the basal ganglia… and one of the best ways to do that is through a good question.  Because a question engages the Prefrontal Cortex… it brings it into the mix.  It steps in and says, “Wait… what are we doing?  And… just as importantly... WHY are we doing it? Makes sense… right?  And that's exactly why we experimented with our first question last week!  And why we're going to introduce a NEW question this week.   So… our question for this week is:  “What do I want to do right now... intentionally?” Oh… You can still take that deep breath after asking it… and that's good! But with this question… I want you to take an action that helps your body to get on board.  Move in some way. Snap your fingers. Clap your hands. Raise a fist pump in the air. Take some action… big or small. If you've ever heard Tony Robbins talk about this kind of movement… you could say that this kind of thing would allow to have a “STATE CHANGE.” By the way… if you want to learn more about this and the science behind how THIS type of thing works… check out episode 246 called “2 minutes to confidence.   mitchmatthews.com/246 It will make a difference. Okay… so let's recap.  So here's the specific experiment for this week. If you feel distracted or you want to feel more in the moment: Ask the question.   “What do I want to do right now... intentionally?” That's right.  Engage the prefrontal cortex.   Ask yourself what YOU ACTUALLY want to be doing. Last quick example:  I'll say I used this just this past weekend.   I had a lot of stuff I could be working on… and I was starting to go there as I was at the dinner table with my family.  I started to drift to all the stuff I COULD be doing or I SHOULD be doing… but I asked the question,  “What do I want to do right now... intentionally?” And it brought me back to an amazing conversation about how The Madolorian is one of the best… if not the best TV show of all time. Priceless.   Loved it. I didn't miss the moment… and I'm soooo grateful. And that's what I want for YOU too… THIS WEEK!!! It's like that awesome quote from Jim Elliot…  “Wherever you are, be ALL there.”  Try it out. And just see what it does for you. It may not be easy. Heck… your basal ganglia may resist it at first. BUT… as you do it… your basal ganglia will start to come around and start to set up NEW patterns and sequences. So being IN the moment… and being more present… becomes your NEW go-to habit too! Give it a try and let me know how it goes. EPISODE MINUTE BY MINUTE 0:02 Welcome to part two 2:45 Part one recap 5:38 How Brain Science affects you being present 7:07 Exercises for your basal ganglia 12:40 How movement actually helps you stay resent 14:48 Be all there I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU! Let me know how the experiments are going for YOU!  Leave a comment about something that's worked for you or let me know where and how you've experimented with the questions.  I can't wait to hear from YOU!!! Until next time… keep bringing your awesome!!!

Today I Get Real with NWHL Metropolitan Riveters & Mentor Saroya Tinker. We discuss why she is fell in love with Hockey, how she's dealt with depression and why she isn't shy or afraid to speak up against racial injustice. Oh You best believe....We definitely Got Real

After a 1 Week Hiatus, Curtis Welcomes Everybody Back to the Show!It's Crazy, Repetitive and Random all in a Couple of Minutes!It's the Perfect Welcome Back Episode to the Crazy!Check it Out for a Listen like No Other!Listen! Listen! Listen! is a show hosted by Curtis Elton. Speaking non-stop in each episode, you'd think he'd actually say something valuable. WRONG! The show has NO THEME...NO USEFUL INFORMATION...NO, NOT THAT EITHER! What it does have is Funny, Completely Random and Crazy non-stop talking lasting Only a Couple of Minutes per episode. Every episode is different! Go on, you know you want to, have a listen to Listen! Listen! Listen! New episodes Every Thursday. Stay tuned for more of Listen! Listen! Listen!TRANSCRIPTCurtis:I'm Back Baby!Oh I Missed you! I Missed You (Kissing Sounds)Oh I Missed you! Oh You have a Little Something There! You Have a Little Something There!Ha! Made you Look!Anyway...I'm Back!!!Hello! Hi, How are You! Hi! Hello! And Hello and Welcome Back to Another Episode of Listen! Listen! Listen!I am Your Host Curtis Elton, and in Case you Didn't Hear Me...I'm Back!And if you have a Problem with that See! I'll have to Pull out the Big Guns See!I've been on a 1 Week, Not 2 Week, Not 3 Week, But 1 Week Hiatus!Oh it's Good to be Back! And in Case I Haven't Said it Enough, I'm Back Baby!And When I'm Saying Baby I'm Still Not Sure If I'm Saying (Impression of Baby) Baby or an MmmHmm Baby!But Right Now, We Don't Have Any time for that! Why?! Take a Guess!Anybody, Anybody Want to Guess? Anybody?! You! You! You! You! Uh, Let's See! You! No the Person Next to You! Person Above You! Person to the Right! Uh, Person to the Right! Person Above! Person Down! No, Not You! Not You! Person with the Mustache! Person with the Glasses! Next to You! And You! Person Right in Front of you! Yeah, There we Go! Got any Ideas?Exactly! There is Actually Nobody Here because we Haven't Welcomed Anybody Back so Come Inside Everybody!(Curtis doing Impressions People Saying Hello in Different Accents and Phrases, Talking Over Each Other)Yes it is Great to be Back!I'd Also like to Welcome Back my Downloaded Studio Audience! (Clapping) Welcome Back!Wait a Second! I Never had a Downloaded Studio Audience! Ladies and Gentlemen, You've Gotta Go! Get Outta Here! (Sound Effect of Audience Talking to Each other while Leaving) Thank You! Thank You! Bubye!And That, My Friends, is the Magic of Sound Effects! Isn't it Just Fabulous!Now I've Welcomed Everybody Back to the Show, That Brings us to the End of This Episode of Listen! Listen! Listen!See you Next Time! See you Next Week! Bubye I'm Outta Here!I'm Back! I'm Not Back! I'm Back! I'm Not Back! (In Slow Motion) I'm Back! I'm Not Back! (Normal Speed) I'm Back! I'm Not Back! I'm Back! I'm Not Back! I Said I'm Back! I Said I'm Not Back!I'm Back Baby!

The Veldt by Ray Bradbury an audiobook narration I hope you enjoy this audiobook narration of The Veldt by Ray Bradbury, narrated by your host Peter Kersting. Three of his most famous novels, Fahrenheit 451, The Martian Chronicles, and Dandelion Wine don’t even scratch the surface of the literary genius that is Ray Bradbury. In today’s always-connected, social media-influenced world, The Veldt is a cautionary tale by Ray Bradbury of how technology could destroy us. Interested in Ray Bradury? Check out Ray Bradbury’s website to see his life work as well as 13 things you didn’t know about him. Oh… You missed the last episode? 12 No Fap and Porn Addiction…with Kevin is right here. We want your feedback! 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Porn addiction is real and no one is talking about it. That is, except for here on Alone with Peter. We’re joined again by entrepreneur, dating coach, and world traveler Kevin Attebery as he opens up about porn addiction, no fap, and anti-porn advocacy. Kevin Attebery: Addict and Anti-porn Advocate It takes courage to talk about addiction, especially porn addiction. I’m really happy to have Kevin on the show. Kevin talks about porn addiction and his experience with no fap regularly on his Youtube. Please take the time to follow him there and give him a shout on Instagram. Sources & Resources for Porn Addiction We cited several sources for the severity of porn addiction and what it does to the brain. Some of them can be found here. Fight the New Drug a “non-religious and non-legislative organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only science, facts, and personal accounts.” I think they do a wonderful job of it and I highly encourage you all to check them out if you’re interested at all in the topic. The Child Rescue Coalition is “a nonprofit organization that rescues children from sexual abuse by building technology for law enforcement, free of charge, to track, arrest and prosecute child predators.” As mentioned in the podcast, Blake Lively supports this organization in its quest to end child sex trafficking. The average age of first exposure to pornography is 13 years old according to the American Psychological Association, with some sources saying the age may be as low as 8 years old. No Fap? Not Easy. Do you regularly watch pornography? Not convinced it’s addictive? I’m issuing you a no-fap challenge. 30 days, no fap. It might be harder than you think, but I promise it’s worth a try. Oh… You missed the last episode? 11 Dating and World Travel…with Kevin is right here.   We want your feedback! 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