Podcasts about if i've

Open calls, questions, and discussion with Matt Slick LIVE in the studio. Questions include---1- Discussion with a caller on the genuine gospel versus -Jesus is cool, but we're all okay- nominalism.--2- What's your take on conservative political commentators who don't talk about the gospel---3- What fruit is Jesus talking about in the parables of the vineyard or the fig tree---4- What are good resources to better understand the meaning of the original Greek words in the Bible---5- If I've asked Jesus into my life more than once, is that a sin- Am I really saved---6- Do Jehovah's Witnesses believe in the true Jesus-

What different types of investments are there? There are many different types of investment classes outside of the traditional everyday norm's that we'vegrown to accept and love like your jobs 401K, Certificates of Deposit, and Bank owned savings accounts. In today's tragedy and economic shut down people are seeking newer ways to invest some money that they intend on inheriting or sitting on it for some time. Lets talk about those different varying investment classes and how they work?   If I've brought you value today please like, subscribe and share this podcast to others that you feel it would give the most benefit to. Thank you

Last night the girl I've been seeing and I walked around the park for five hours talking about whether we were going to keep seeing each other. I've never been more honest and open with someone in my life, it was exhilirating, scary, tiring and ultimately, cathartic. If I've achieved nothing else in these last few months of isolation, at least I can say I did that.

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit. Today we are going to talk about a really important topic: learning to trust yourself.  Trust is so important for our feelings of safety and security. So often I hear from people who are experiencing anxiety and depression that they do not trust themselves. Today I want to share with you all a metaphor about trust, that I love, and I think it will help you conceptualize how to look at trust. This is a metaphor that Brene Brown has talked about a lot. She said that when you meet somebody they have an empty jar (metaphorically) and overtime as they show you in little ways, it might be their consideration, their respect for you, maybe they remembered your birthday, perhaps they sent you a little care package, every time they do something nice for you one marble is placed in the jar. If they do another small thing, you put another marble in the jar and overtime that jar fills up. This is how we experience a sense of trust for that person. Trust is something that grows and it often doesn’t come from the big things. It comes from the teeny tiny things. Maybe a little smile when you are having a hard time, or checking in with you, or holding a safe place for you when you are struggling. So, now that we have that conceptualization that trust is something we build over time, we also need to recognize that when somebody has let us down the marbles may come out. Maybe half the marbles. Maybe all the marbles. Perhaps just one. We can always grow trust back even if someone has betrayed us. If we want to build that trust back up, this involves giving the person a second chance. Often when someone has been very seriously betrayed, they make the choice, "I don't want to trust that person. I don't want to ever put myself in that position again.” Whereas other people might say, “well I love this person. I'm willing to take the risk.”  Now, this applies to ourselves too. You begin learning to trust yourself based on the small acts that you do for yourself. It's about taking care of yourself, making sure you're well-fed, making sure you're listening to your body. When you're frightened, it's about doing the hard thing instead of the easy thing. Every time we do that we are saying, “I've got your back unconditionally even during the difficult times.”  Now, just like I said before if you betray yourself, you ignore your needs, and put yourself down, you take out some of those marbles. If I've let a friend down or my partner down or my child down, I will intentionally try to regain their trust, and I'll do it in very small ways. I will be there for them, be kind to them, show up for them. This is the case for myself as well. If I have let myself down, I will need to show up in small ways with the intention that I want to trust myself.  A lot of the time, when I'm doing hard work in therapy with clients, they back down because they tell themselves, “I can't do this. I can't.” I tell them this is a matter of trust. You think you can't because you haven't in the past. This is a part of the process of learning to trust yourself, and it's an intention that you need to work on every day. Through those small acts, you'll get there. There will be days when you lose marbles. We all make mistakes, but we can all stand up and make the intention to build trust again for ourselves. It has to be unconditional. That is where our long-term wellness can benefit. So, I'm going to challenge you to think about how full your jar is for the people around you and the one for yourself and then ask yourself how intentional you are about building up that jar of trust. ERP School, BFRB School, and Mindfulness School for OCD are all now open for purchase. If you feel you would benefit, please go to cbtschool.com

We kick off our interlude on miscellaneous monsters with an episode featuring indie monster book Fire on the Velvet Horizon! If I've already done this, please don't tell me. If you want to check this book out, you can find the fancy hardcover here and the plain-text PDF here. You can probably get it other places, too, so if you want to drop a link in the comments, be my guest!   If you're enjoying the show, why not consider supporting it on Patreon? You'll get access to lots of new bonus content, including my other podcast, Patron Deities!   Thanks to Ray Otus for our thumbnail image. The intro music is a clip from "Solve the Damn Mystery" by Jesse Spillane, used under a Creative Commons Attribution License.

Are you a business owner who wants to get good at financial decision making and CEO-level accounting? How can you build a runway to opportunities? By navigating mindset, expenses, and cash.  Today’s guest is Tim Francis from Great Assistant and Profit Factory. Tim’s training, Know Your Numbers, shows how businesses can deal with cash crunch and cash flow. You’ll Learn... [02:48] Free Upcoming Event: Navigate the Cash Crunch. [03:20] Entrepreneurs: Like Indiana Jones, running as fast as possible from expenses. [06:00] Pre-built Spreadsheet: Adding and subtracting, red boxes and green boxes. [06:40] Beyond Profit First: In motion and cutting expenses when DoorGrow sales stop. [10:23] 3-Step Method: Navigating mindset, navigating expenses, and navigating cash. [11:29] Mistakes of sloth, and mistakes of ambition. [12:19] Step 1 - Navigating Mindset: Be good to your body, protect personal and professional relationships, and early action is crucial. [22:51] Step 2 - Navigating Expenses: Business's profit margin and bloat factor involves how many dollars to be sold at top line for $1 at bottom line to spend/buy something. [30:08] Survive and Thrive: When sales go down, create a situation where you don't have to sell as much. You can meet it at a lower sales level and still get by. [31:52] Step 3 - Navigating Cash: The Cash Flow Forecast figures out how much cash can you touch now? There's a big difference between cash and free cash. [45:38] Opportunities for Growth: If your business doesn't cash flow, it will fail. Cash flow first, then focus on growth. Cash comes from different places. Tweetables Entrepreneurs confuse revenue, sales, top line, or top of the P&L statement with cash. There's actually a way to navigate the cash crunch, even if revenue is going down. Property management industry has a massive opportunity due to big shift in the market. Panic isn't productive. It's important to be urgent, not anxious. There's a big difference between cash and free cash. Resources Navigate the Cash Crunch with Jason Hull and Timothy Francis Tim Francis on LinkedIn Great Assistant Profit Factory Know Your Numbers Keith Cunningham Verne Harnish DoorGrow on YouTube DoorGrowClub DoorGrowLive DoorGrow Website Score Quiz DoorGrow Cold Leads Calculator Transcript Jason: Welcome, DoorGrow Hackers, to the DoorGrow Show. If you are a property management entrepreneur that wants to add doors, make a difference, increase revenue, help others, impact lives, and you are interested in growing your business and life, and you are open to doing things a bit differently, then you are a DoorGrow Hacker. DoorGrow Hackers love the opportunities, daily variety, unique challenges, and freedom that property management brings. Many in real estate think you’re crazy for doing it, you think they’re crazy for not because you realize that property management is the ultimate high-trust gateway to real estate deals, relationships, and residual income. At DoorGrow, we are on a mission to transform property management businesses and their owners. We want to transform the industry, eliminate the BS, build awareness, change perception, expand the market, and help the best property management entrepreneurs win. I’m your host, property management growth expert, Jason Hull, the founder and CEO of DoorGrow. Now, let's get into the show. I am hanging out here with Tim Francis. Tim, welcome to the show again. Tim: Good to see you Jason, again. Jason: Tim and I just started trying to do this on Crowdcast the normal platform. It didn't work out. The internet gods were not kind to us for some reason so we're starting it over. I wanted to introduce Tim to this audience again. Tim has been on the show before because he was talking about his company, Great Assistant, a fantastic company. I've hired assistants through it for US based assistants. His parent corporation, or company, or whatever you want to call it is Profit Factory. I recently went through training with him called Know Your Numbers. One of my goals for this year was to get really good at this learning financial decision making, maybe more business owner, CEO level accounting. Tim is the go to guy for this. He has a program on this that I went through. He had a really cool thing that he showed us how to deal with cash crunch and cash flow. He reached out to me and is putting this out to audiences trying to help businesses out right now. I'm excited to expose my audience to this idea of how they can navigate the cash crunch. Tim, welcome. Tim: Thank you so much for having me. Jason: We're going to do an event here in about a week. I'll just plug that now up front, just get that out of the way. It's for free and we're going to go into greater detail about these things. You're going to be sharing your screen, showing spreadsheets, helping them figure this out. But let's start with talking about the problem. What's going on with the market right now, the cash crunch, and why is this relevant? Tim: Yeah, you bet. If you think of Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark, there's this amazing boulder scene. Jason, I have to give you credit for giving me this visual of this boulder rolling behind us as entrepreneurs. We're running as fast as we possibly can, and that boulder, that's expenses. Jason, full credit to you, every time I use this analogy now I'm giving you credit. A bit of the secret here is that there's actually a simple three step method that we can actually turn this into a different Indiana Jones scene. In the Last Crusade, Indiana Jones, there's this like leap of faith scene where he's standing on the very edge and he's looking at this massive chasm between him and where he needs to go. It looks impossible, it looks impossible that he’ll possibly be able to cross this chasm, but then he gets this idea. He takes some sand, and he throws it out and it covers, and there's this hidden balance beam, it's invisible, this invisible balance beam to walk across. That's exactly the three step method that I teach as a passion to entrepreneurs. I think a lot of entrepreneurs confuse revenue, sales, top line, or just that top of the P&L statement with cash. The thing is that they’re two extremely different ideas. Yes, one can lead to the other, however they're not necessary. There's actually a way to navigate the cash crunch, even if revenue is going down. I've helped many, many companies, I think I’ve had 139 board meetings now. I've helped over 70 companies, and at least 7 of them I've helped to escape bankruptcy, including that with them following the exact process that I'm going to teach today. Whether someone despises accounting and numbers, feels pretty good about them but maybe not a pro, or even if someone's an absolute pro at numbers, I think the perspectives that we share today are going to be really, really powerful. Also just in case anyone's afraid of like oh, my god, here we go, numbers and accounting. I hate that topic. I avoid my accountant like the plague. I'll tell you what, I was rejected from Business School three times. I couldn't finish calculus. I don't know my brain wasn't wired that way, and the good news is you don't need any of that to be able to navigate the cash crunch. If you know how to add and subtract, in fact Jason, you don't even need to be able to add, subtract. If you know how to use a calculator to add, subtract, we can make this happen. The tool that I'll go more in depth with you on our webinar coming in about a week from now, everyone will actually get access to a prebuilt spreadsheet. All you got to do, it takes maybe 20 to 30 minutes to put your own info in. Literally where you see a red box is a crisis line, and where you see a green box, you're good to go. That's it. It's adding and subtracting, and red boxes and green boxes, that help you to navigate. To build your very own—personalized to your business—path to navigate the cash crunch. Jason: Before we get into this, I want to touch on and create a little transparency in this. A lot of entrepreneurs are fearful. There's a lot of shame around admitting that something doesn't look perfectly successful. There's a lot of shame around finances and money. Like oh, no, I've got debt or I've got this. I'm going to share what we're experiencing at DoorGrow. Leading up to this, one of my goals for this year was to get control of finances, really understand and get into financials, which is why I did a training with you, Tim, and I'm working with you on different things, because that's a step beyond the Profit First. I've got my Profit First coach and accountant that I work with as well. I've been doing lots of calls with her getting all these different loans that are coming out, getting everything going. I'm glad that I was already working on this stuff prior. We started cutting expenses dramatically, we started doing shifts. As I was getting control of things, I was like why are we paying for that? If we weren't in momentum already—you used the analogy of the airplane flying over the trees—we probably would have hit some trees. We probably would have crashed. We were already in motion. Sales, March just stopped. Property managers stopped buying products and services from DoorGrow because they were holding their wallets tight, they were scared, and that's about half of our revenue. We had to tighten our belt really quickly. We weren't really ready for that, we haven’t budgeted the beginning of our month to do that, so we had to get really creative. Using some of these strategies helped us to keep that plane above the tree level, navigating the cash crunch, or in my Indiana Jones analogy, outpaced the boulder so that we were able to make it through the end of the month. I'm really excited to share this property management. I'll point out that I believe the property management industry has a massive opportunity right now. There are property management companies, especially in California, Florida, and Hawaii, that they are growing. March was one of their biggest growth months in adding new doors, in acquisitions, period, simply because there is a whole big shift in the market. A lot of people are going to be needing property managers. We won't get really into that now but there's a lot of opportunity right now. Property management is a really safe place to be hedging against the market right now. Most property managers will probably have pretty good cash flow. It's only the third and we're already seeing most people are paying rent on single family residential. They're not noticing much of a difference. They've had a few people reach out for payment arrangements, but all things, I'm saying is that it's basically normal. They're a little concerned about May, so this May become even more hyper relevant in the next month or beyond. I want everyone to pay attention to this. Property managers, you guys are blessed right now, while a lot of businesses are just done. They're failing, their revenue is cut to zero, especially luxury markets, vacation markets, restaurants in a lot of situations. Businesses are closing, failing. This also is the perfect excuse for entrepreneurs that are not really committed to their business to get out, perfect excuse. A lot of people are going to take it. If you are not one of those people, and you're committed to making this work and you want to grow, reach out to DoorGrow, I want to make sure we help you capitalize on all this. Tim, let's get into these three things that we need to pay attention to. Tim: There are three things to navigate, navigating mindset, navigating expenses, and navigating cash. I don't normally share this piece, but because of what you just so wisely shared just around the shame that sometimes entrepreneurs feel around money or like oh, I'm a failure or whatnot. I'll tell you what. I think that being a leader is a lot of responsibility. Even if you're a leader of 1 or 100, it doesn't matter. It's that classic man in the arena story. It's not the critic who counts. I think that there's actually something incredibly skilled when an entrepreneur sees that things have changed, and they're ready to change with it. I think that that's actually a sign of prescience is the word, when we can see things that are coming and to act accordingly. I also think that Verne Harnish has a great expression, he says, "Growth sucks cash." If you've been spending a lot of money to grow your company, and that's why you don't have a lot of cash to show for it, there's no shame in being ambitious either. There are mistakes of sloths, and there are mistakes of ambition. Mistakes of sloths are when we make mistakes because we're sitting on the couch not going for it and life passes us by. Mistake of ambition is when we were really going for it and things didn't work out. Mistakes of ambition, it's even arguable to say that it's even a mistake at all. I just think if you're in a position where you’re a little tight on cash, or maybe a lot tight on cash, I get that the shame narrative is available and I don't know that I'd go there. First of all, it's not accurate, and secondly, it's not productive. This leads us into our whole first of our three steps mindset, navigating mindset. Before anyone decides to tune out and say mindset is going to be the secret or some law of attraction, maybe more airy type topic. I assure you, it is not. I assure you that it is not. In 2008 I had a real estate portfolio of my own, not a big portfolio, just four houses, but I ended up losing around $100,000 mostly of other people's money. Around that time, I also had a mentor who ended up being one of the two leaders of a $12 million Ponzi scheme. Didn't start as a Ponzi scheme but it became a Ponzi scheme, that's typically the way they go. His business partner is convicted in court, barred folding securities for 25 years, and ended up actually leaving the country. This is in Canada, where I'm from. It was extremely exhausting and stressful to go through all that and to see everything that was happening around me. It led to me developing an illness called Erythema nodosum. Erythema nodosum is something there's no real cure for. You just have to wait it out. It's just bed rest. Your body really swells up and becomes so painful to walk that you can't, then it becomes so painful that you stand that you can't, and you end up just lying in bed every single day. 50% of cases are stress related. There's no way to know for sure, but I'm pretty sure mine was stress related. If you think an economic collapse like 2008 is bad, or an economic collapse like 2020 is bad... I'll tell you what's even worse is having economic collapse and also having a health collapse, where you actually can't do anything about your situation because you're in bed. Thankfully, at the time, I had very, very, very few dependents, I had no teammates and so the impact, the blast radius was small, it was just on me. Had my mom not paid my mortgage for me for three months, I would have gone double bankrupt, my personal finance, my business finance. Talk about an eye opener, and I was only 28. I was only 28 at the time. When I talk about the importance of managing mindset, this is absolutely crucial that we manage stress. I'll tell you, I've been not just through economic collapse, economic plus physical collapse, and it is not a pretty situation. You do not want to go through that. Along the lines of how do we go about managing mindset, I think that there are a few important perspectives in addition to some of the obvious practices. I'll just start the obvious because it's pretty straightforward. Make sure you're getting some exercise even if it's just a walk on a treadmill, or a peloton bike, or something like that in your living room, whatever the case may be. Get some sunshine if you can, even though we're all locked indoors, that sunshine is super important. Diet, take care of that. Make sure you’re getting lots of water, maybe ease off on the booze a little bit too if you're someone who enjoys to imbibe a little bit. Be good to your body. Probably the biggest of all, for most people, is actually sleep. Sleep is something that we can lose very quickly in times of turmoil and stress. You might need to turn to things like small meditation, reading, journaling, or something before bed to help take your mind off of some of the challenges of the day. I'm telling you that it's absolutely crucial. When I look back at my sleep habits and actually have been keeping track of my sleep for years and years and years. Jason, I'd sleep for four hours and lay on the floor next to my computer, sleep. I'd work till 5:00 in the morning, I'd sleep four hours on the floor next to the computer and I would stand up, go pee, and go back to the computer and start working again. Desperate times sometimes call for desperate measures, but there is such a thing as too high a price to pay. Remember that this too shall pass. September 11th came, the world changed, and we got back to business in a new normal way. The housing crisis came, the world changed, and we got back to business in a new normal way. Jason: Tim, I'm going to touch on what you just said real quick, interject. These are really basic things but they're showing some significant correlations between COVID-19 and melatonin, and nitric oxide in your blood, vitamin D. These are the basic principles of health. I have training for our clients called health secrets and it's these basics. We talk about getting sleep, that's when melatonin starts to get produced in your brain. It's much higher in children, it gets less. You may want to supplement with that but getting good sleep, getting some sunlight, finding a way to get sunshine and sunlight on your body is going to be a big deal that releases nitric oxide from your skin into your blood, if vitamin D gets produced, these are basic. Sleep, nutrition, some physical activity, exercise, some sunshine, water and hydrate. This and all of that lowers your stress levels and it lowers our pressure and noise significantly. I love that you're sharing that. Keep your stress levels as low as possible and start physiologically. Tim: I think along with stress is this idea of engagement. I don't know if I need to share this part, but I'll say it just to be responsible. If someone is not engaged enough right now, you're not paying attention to what's going on in the world. If you're only at about a 6 or 7 out of 10 engagements, goodness gracious, it might be time to pick it up a bit. If you're also to 9 or 10 engagements it's probably too high, you're over stimulated, you're over engaged. We need that 8 out of 10 where we're focused, pupils dilated just a little bit. Eye on the prize. I always say that panic isn't productive. It's important to be urgent, not anxious, to be urgent, not anxious. Jason: I'm too Agilent right now. I'm excited and that's where I'm at. I love chaos, let's be honest. Maybe there are other entrepreneurs like that but when chaos happens, that's opportunity. That's where we get to be a light and we get to stand out, so I'm enjoying this even though it's uncomfortable. Tim: Very nice, very nice. I think that two other mindset pieces, one is that it's important to actually protect relationships. Yes, I mean the personal relationships that we have in our life because they can be such a source of security, joy, and comfort. I also mean business relationships. We're going to get to the other side of this, and unlike other past catastrophes that were measured in years, I think, yes, our economic catastrophe is going to be measured in years on this one for sure. I think that in terms of months, I think this pandemic is going to be measured in months, not years and years and years. One of my questions at each point is what is the state of the relationships of suppliers, vendors in the case of property managers, tenants, if you're managing on behalf of other people like your clients, your investors, and owners. What's the state of those relationships going to look like in three months from now, or six months from now when we're on the other side of this. You might make it through, but do you still have people that respect you? I heard a story the other day of an entrepreneur that just cancelled all their credit cards and said well, everything's just going to fail in terms of expenses and I'm going to add back one by one the few things that make sense. It's a shortcut to just cutting expenses. That's a way to go about it, but are you going to just supremely piss off everyone in the process? I think that protecting relationships is important to keep in mind. That doesn't mean that you're always bringing good news to everyone along the way, especially in the cutting expenses part of our presentation today. I think to be respected for being accountable, navigating agreements that you have with people rather than just abandoning them. My other mindset piece is that early action is crucial. If you discover that you need to get alone, act now before more businesses are closing, and possibly soaking up some lending capacity, or even just work capacity that bankers have to fill out applications and whatnot. If you discover you need to reduce a teammate's hours, tell them as early as possible so they can start making plans of their own personal and family finances. So that if a dip comes for them income-wise, they're prepared for it. If you can help them find a new opportunity elsewhere, do what you can to manage those relationships. I got an interesting perspective from someone who used to have a business helping individuals, not businesses, but individuals navigate bankruptcy. He said one of the most common patterns he saw with people going through bankruptcy is they didn't cut expenses deep enough or soon enough, deep enough or soon enough. I think that that's a very interesting perspective and maybe a usable guideline would be to say anything that's not going to help increase the profitability, and specifically cash coming into your business in the coming six months, I'd probably delay it. If you're thinking of a new website, if that's not going to immediately give you a bump in cash in the next six months, then let's put that on pause. We'll see if we can renegotiate it, put it on hold, delay it, or even cancel it. I think that's a really powerful way and maybe for you, the number isn't six months, maybe it's three months or eight months, whatever. But if we can keep an eye on what's going to bring cash in, in that timeframe, that really makes decision making a lot easier around what expenses you can continue with and which do not. This leads us to our second of the three steps of what we need to navigate and that is expenses. I think that something I'd say in my path of learning accounting and I even went and took night classes at the University of Alberta. I finally did go and take University accounting classes. It was not for credit though, they wouldn't let me into the for credit version, but they'd let me still sit in the classes and study. You know what, Jason, I got 100% of my midterm. I wanted to throw up my middle fingers as I walked into the room. I can't complete calculus, I can't get into business school, but here I'm getting 100% of my midterm. How about that? How do you like them apples? One of the big ahas that I had is that in my brain, because we all grow up thinking about personal finance. I think in personal finance, we think if I make $1, I can spend $1, and $1 in is $1 out. If I want to go buy a car, a pair of jeans, or a pair of shoes, I just need to get that amount of income to be able to pay for the shoes, the jeans, or the car. When it comes to business finance though it's a little bit different. To be able to buy $1 of expenses, we can't just make $1. It's because there's other expenses in the business. That's why we always talk about profit margin. If I have $100,000 in revenue, and I've got $50,000 in expenses, then I have $50,000 in profit. My profit margin is 50%. What that means is at the end of that year, or quarter, that month, for me to have an extra dollar to go buy something the next month, quarter or year, I don't need to make $1, I actually need to make $2 because my profit margin is only 50%. I have to make the $2 at the top, 50% gets stripped away by expenses. I'm left with $1 to now go and spend in the next month, quarter, or year. There's this idea, I invented it, it's called bloat factor. How many dollars do I have to sell at the top line to have $1 at the bottom line to be able to use and go and spend and buy something else in the coming month, quarter, or year? It's very simple math. If you're at 50% profit margin, which very few businesses are—very, very, very, very, very few businesses are—then you'd have to earn $2 to have $1 at the bottom to be able to go and spend in the coming period. If I've got a 25% profit margin, I have to make $4 at the top to have $1 to go and spend. If I'm at a 10% profit margin, which a lot of businesses around that 10% margin mark, I have to go make $10 to be able to have one at the bottom. Jason: This is super important for people to realize. A lot of us entrepreneurs, we look at our bank accounts and we think well, I've got $1 that we made. Now I can go buy this thing for $1. They think it's a one to one relationship. That's a huge mistake. Tim: Whatever your business's profit margin is, you got to figure out the bloat factor. Let's just say for example, you're at a 10% profit margin, that means you have to make $10 to keep $1, your bloat factor is 10X. If you cut $1 of expense, you now don't have to sell 10X that in revenue to be in the exact same place. For example, this is actually an extraordinary story Jason, this going to blow your mind. I talked to one of my private consulting clients here. He and I had like uh-oh, the crisis is coming call like three weeks ago. He cut $9,000 a month in recurring revenue. Does that mean that he doesn't need to sell $9,000 in the coming year? Well, of course not, because it's recurring expenses. Jason: I was going to say he lost them? Tim: No, no, no. He cut $9,000 per month of expenses. At his profit margin, his bloat factor is 8.7. $9,000 times 12 months in a year times 8.7, he does not have to sell $944,882 in the coming year. He cut the need to sell a million dollars just by cutting $9,000 a month in expenses. That is mind expanding. Jason: We have pretty healthy profit margins at DoorGrow, we’re pretty tight. We're a virtual team but we cut a ton of expenses. Maybe if we have time, I could list some of the crazy actions that we took to help make sure that we cash flowed. It makes a ton of sense to me. Tim: Big time. I'll just take a super simple example. I actually set up a calculator which we'll play with in the free webinar you and I will do. We'll play with the bloat calculator a little bit. If I have a profit margin of 10%—not uncommon for businesses—my bloat factor would be 10. If all I removed was $250 a month, that's it, $250 a month of recurring expenses, canceling subscriptions, canceling unused services, access to different websites and whatnot, I would not have to sell $30,000 in the coming year. $250 a month does not sound like that much to cut, and yet a 10X bloat factor, that's $30,000 you do not have to sell anymore. You tell me what's easier, finding $250 a month and cutting it, or going out and generating $30,000 in new revenue in the coming year? Jason: Especially right now for us. My accountant was really impressed with me. We cut $10,000 in monthly expenses, depending on what our profit margin is. That can be pretty significant for us as well in terms of how much sales we don't have to do to make it each month. That's made it breathable for us significantly. Tim: When you talk about being able to survive and thrive even when sales go down, you just created a situation for yourself where you don't have to sell as much. Even if sales go down, you can still meet it at a lower sales level and still get by which is really incredible. Jason: I met with my accountant last night and we mapped out the month with all the recurring revenue that we have coming in. If we do no sales this month, we will make it. Tim: I love that. Jason: We’ve pivoted quickly and reduced the expenses, but right now it’s a great opportunity for property managers to grow and we're offering some crazy deals. Hopefully, we'll also be doing some sales this month and making a big difference. Tim: I love that. I think you were sharing offline about how all these Airbnbs are now switching to long term rental. They got smoked out of the market and now they just want to go back to traditional long term rentals. So there's all this flood towards property managers. For a property manager that knows how to convert an Airbnb into a standard long term rental, ready to rock, and knows how to find those deals, goodness gracious, this could be a really revolutionary time. Jason: There are several channels right now for growth and each one is going to get bigger. Property managers right now, they can capitalize on it. We're pushing our clients aggressively to start taking action on these things right now. Tim: That's so exciting. There's another way that we can navigate the cash crunch even if sales go down. It's not just by managing expenses but it's also by navigating cash. Let's get into the third and final step in navigating the cash crunch. The free webinar that we're gonna do in approximately a week from now, we're actually going to do live exercises. We're actually going to share screens and you're actually going to see this spreadsheet in action. It's super simple. Anyone can do it. It can be a game changer. Of the multi-million dollar companies that I've helped save, some of them I didn't even do private consulting with. They just came, they know your numbers, or they heard me talk about just this one tool, The Cash Flow Forecast. They use it religiously when they're in a tough spot and it helps them get through. It's very exciting. There's actually two parts to this. The very first is actually understanding how much cash can I actually touch right now? There's a big difference between cash and free cash. Cash is the amount of money that's in the bank if you add up your checking and savings accounts. That's cash. Free cash on the other hand, we have to deduct some money out of that total cash to get the free cash to know what we can actually work with. From our total cash amount, we need to set aside committed costs. Committed cost is any amount of money you've promised that you're going to pay. Let's say for example a website, I've signed a legal agreement to get a new website done. If I don't manage that agreement to delay the project, I'm on the hook for it. If that's a $10,000 cash outflow that's coming up in two weeks from now, that is a committed cost. I haven't received the service yet but I've committed to receiving the service or the product for that matter. Jason: It's money that's earmarked. It's money that is going to disappear. If you can't pay it, it could cause some serious problems. Tim: Big time, getting all the way back to that whole topic about managing relationships even through the tough times. The second category that we need to earmark some cash is payables. Let's say that you already had the website built. It was finished last week. You've enjoyed the service. You've received the service or the product for that matter. You're on net 30 terms or net 60 terms and now you got to pay that person. That's a payable. Now, one of the biggest payables that is unavoidable is death is taxes. Thankfully, the payment deadline in the United States has been extended, which allows for some cash flow breathing room for entrepreneurs, which is very important right now. I would do my best to get clear and make sure that I've got a separate account for tax. I actually have a separate bank account. It's a little profit first esque or Richest Man in Babylon esque that there's a separate account for income tax and that's where I would hold my income tax. Jason: I have that too. The idea is to have it at a bank that is difficult to get into. That's completely a normal thing. Tim: You don't know the pin. You give it to someone else. Two keys to authenticate and turn to open the vault. Jason: The worst online bank ever or something like that. Tim: Or the brick and mortar bank that has no online, something like that. After committed costs and payables including income tax, we also need to remove or set aside any deposits that we've got. This is huge in property management because we have deposits from tenants. You can't really spend that money, it's not money that you've earned. It's just money that you're holding as a deposit so we got to park that on the sidelines. Then from there, whatever amount that you've got to pay in credit card debt or any other very short term, high interest debt. Most credit cards are 10% more. If you've got all kinds of rewards on your card, you probably are facing 19.99% or 21.95% interest. We really want to make sure that we're getting that paid off at the end of each month or else we're facing colossal interest rates. I would earmark that money to hold to the side as well. Then from there, there's two more. The next one is ultra-short term debt that you need to pay. Short term debt in accounting refers to any debt that's due this year. A Tim Francisism ultra-short term is in the next 30 days. If there's any portion of debt that you need to pay down in the next 30 days, I would earmark that cash as well because if you don't pay it, a lot of small business loans have liens or guarantees against your house. You might lose your house if you don't pay it, or you don't renegotiate that payment because there are some circumstances now where banks and different lenders are allowing you to skip the payment right now because of what's going on. Our last category where we need to earmark and subtract cash, I actually have a whole separate account in my bank for this particular category, is what's called Unearned Revenue. I don't think that's as big in property management candidly. For example, for someone who's offering other services, unearned revenue can be the difference between life and death to know what is earned and what's not. For example, if someone hires me for a year of consulting and they pay in a block amount of money at the start of the year, they pay the whole year in advance, I can only touch 1/12th of that with each month that goes by because it's unearned revenue until I've delivered that guidance for the year. Understanding our starting point of actual free cash is the first part of managing cash, and then the second part is to build out what we call a cash flow forecast. It's very simple. It's 13 weeks which is 90 days, just three months. We simply plot into the cash flow forecast where we've got cash coming in and cash going out. Jason, would it be appropriate for me to just show a screenshot of a cash flow forecast or should we wait until the webinar? Jason: The podcast listeners won't see it so let's get that, we’ll show it on the webinar. They'll just be listeners but it's pretty cool. I'll give you a testimonial related to this. I met with my accountant. We're mapping out all the recurring revenue that we have at DoorGrow and figuring out what expenses. We basically went through this. She started doing this manually in a spreadsheet real time, basically doing exactly what your spreadsheet does. She was figuring out which things are going to hit, what are the due dates for these. We're figuring it all out. I was like that's so funny because Tim has a thing that does this. She took me through it manually to make sure that our cash flow situation is going to be good because it's not just hey, this month we're going to make X number of dollars. We're going to have X number of expenses and we're okay. It's maybe at the beginning of the month, you have a whole bunch of things that are running and you're making that revenue later in the month or however it might work. You need to make sure it's all going to be timed perfectly. That's the brilliance of your cash flow thing because if it ever dips below zero, you're dead. It goes into the red, that's death. You have to make sure that you always know when things are going to hit and this is what your spreadsheet does, which is pretty brilliant. Tim: I agree. I totally agree. I'll tell you, when people are calling you every single day to collect money, 29 days is an extremely long time. It is an eternity. Being clear about when money is arriving, not just by the month to your point, but to the week. To be very clear about when cash is leaving to the week, and making sure that not you or anyone in your team is sending cash out the door too soon especially without other people like a bookkeeper helping or an executive assistant helping to pay different bills, if you don't direct your team on when to pay bills, people in your office or on your team, they might just pay the bills when they come in. They just might pay it exactly the same day that they open the envelope or they get the statement online. They're like oh, well, I was just doing my job. I was just paying this because it came in. You got to give your teammates leadership, guidance, vision, and direction on items like this especially in a cash crunch. People oftentimes ask me Tim, this tool is brilliant. How often should I be looking at it? I say that you look at the tool as often as you need to, relative to two factors. Number one, how low is your plane flying relative to the treetops? This is just the analogy we talked about earlier. If your wheels are clipping the tree tops and those trees might take your plane down, then you're looking at that cash flow forecast possibly every single week to make absolutely damn sure that you're getting the money in that you're expecting on that week, and you're not sending money out any earlier than you're supposed to on that week. Jason: Even daily. Tim: A hundred percent. The clients that I have that weren't had multimillion dollar businesses which can have a lot of complexity, moving parts, people, teammates, products, clients, and all the rest, they would literally have it open every single day just to make sure things were coming and going, that all the trains are running on time because there was no margin for error. The other reason why you'd want to have your cash flow forecast updated in front of mine regularly is if there's a lot of turbulence in the air. Whether you're flying close to the trees or not close to trees. If you got a lot of altitude, that's great. But if there's a lot of turbulence, that can do a lot of damage to your plane as well. Maybe you're not looking at it every single day, maybe not even every single week, but at least once a month. I hate making absolute statements because there's always an exception to the rule, but more or less 100% of entrepreneurs are in turbulence right now because of the climate that we're operating in. This is not a situation, it's limited to a city, a state, or even a country. This is worldwide. The cash flow forecast is how you make sure that you've got oxygen in your tank and that you can keep moving. Without that oxygen in the tank, doesn't matter how big and fast your flippers are to generate revenue. You got to have the cash in the oxygen tank. If you do hit any spots where you've got red on your cash flow forecast and you need to manage that crisis line, there are a lot of different strategies. Some of the more obvious strategies would be applying for some of the SBA loans. The only downside to that is we don't know when they're going to arrive. Secondly, bank lines of credit or if you've got access to them already and they're just sitting unused, that becomes an option. There's raising money from family and friends or an investor. If you wanted to, this is maybe less attractive for most entrepreneurs, we can actually sell shares in your company to raise money. There's also just the simple renegotiating if you need to pay something. Let's say it's $5,000, it's in three weeks from now, and that's when your first red square hits on the cash flow forecast, that's your crisis line. If you're going to be short just $1,000 or something, maybe you could call that person that you owe the money and say can I make it in two payments? I'll pay you in three weeks half, and then one week after that the other half. Lo and behold, just by splitting to 2 payments over 14 days instead of once, all of a sudden you've made up the difference and now all your squares are green. Now you've got not three weeks of safety, but five weeks of safety. Jason: The plane can fly through all of those and knock at the trees. Tim: Hundred percent. The thing is there's a lot of conversation out there about how we have to pivot our businesses and how we have to change our sales and our marketing. I think that is all extremely important conversation to have, absolutely crucial conversation to have. Inevitably, if we're going to pivot our offerings in any way, shape, or form, it's going to take time to roll them out. If it's going to take, say, four weeks to come up with a new offering of some special for an Airbnb owners that want to convert into long term rental, if you need to create a marketing campaign to identify those people, if you need to train up your staff to call certain Airbnb to see if they're distressed. Whether it's people, projects, processes, offers that you're rolling out, it's going to take some time. Even if you do it really quickly, it will probably still take at least a month, if not a few months, to be able to make that pivot and to make that implementation. It doesn't matter if you've got the best idea. It takes four weeks to roll out, but you only have two weeks of cash. That's like building a brand new airplane that's the world's fastest, sexiest, coolest, most comfortable, smoothest plane in the world, but if you only give it 100 yards of runway, it's not going to take off. It's just not. Jason: To boil this down real simple for those listening, all these opportunities for growth, it does not matter if your business doesn't cash flow. It's going to fail. Cash flow first and then let's get you focused on growth. Tim: Cash can come from different places. It can come from loans and other places, not just from revenue. To your point, Jason, I just think there are so many opportunities on the other side of this. We just have to make sure we have enough runway. Surprisingly, amidst this entire thing, I'd say the thesis of all of this is that the most important factors in navigating a cash crunch is actually not cash itself. It's actually time. Time is what we're playing for and cash gets us time. By getting time, we can now get out of panic. We can get back to being calm, clear because we've got a cash flow forecast. You can see what's coming down the pipe. We're confident because you know the exact steps you need to take and because we're clear, confident, and calm, now we can be creative to take advantage of the opportunities that are coming down the pipe. That is the name of the game. Those three steps, navigating mindset, navigating expenses, and navigating cash are how we build the runway that we then can launch off whatever the new opportunities are to take us into the new economy. Jason: I had Michael McCalla on the show. I've worked with Al Sharpton as a coach. One of the things Al would say is if you lower the pressure noise for an entrepreneur, that's where their brilliance and genius comes out. One of the things Michael Mccalla talked about is that when we have constraints or limitations which this market is creating, it's going to create innovation. If you give somebody the Pareto principle, if you give somebody an endless amount of time to do whatever, they don't have to innovate. We're innovating crazy inside DoorGrow. My team members are getting new ideas. We release some contractors. Our salaried staff are figuring out new ways of doing things, ways to save money, ways that are more efficient, ways that are faster. These are big opportunities right now for you and your team to give them some constraints, have them work with you on lowering expenses, solving the cash crunch crisis that you may be experiencing, and allowing innovation creativity to happen. If you can keep your presence calm, your team will be there as well. This is a step towards that. Tim: Did you want to share with folks maybe a little bit about our presentation we're doing next week? We're actually walking people through building a cash flow forecast. Jason: Yeah. Let's just touch on the details. It's going to be on Thursday, what day is that? Tim: April the 9th. Jason: It's going to be on April 9th. It's going to be 11:00. Our time, we're both in Austin, Central, which is 9:00 AM Pacific noon Eastern. What are we going to be sharing during this? What are you going to be sharing with everyone? Tim: You bet. First of all, folks, go to navigatethecashcrunch.com/doorgrow. I know podcast listeners won't be able to see this, but Jason, I'll just share my screen so you can see it. We've got Navigate the Cash Crunch with Tim Francis and Jason Hull. It's happening Thursday, April 9th, 2020 at 11:00 AM Central, which is Chicago time just like Jason just shared. In it, we'll be sharing the three step process we've talked about today. We're not going to go into as much detail into mindset because we talked about it here today already. We'll cover a few tools around expense management. The real star of the show is building your very own cash flow forecast. You can register for that webinar at navigatethecashcrunch.com/doorgrow. What you'll get is access to the training. You also get the cash flow forecast template as well, which you can just drop into your very own computer and get to work with seeing where your crisis line is. Hopefully, it's not too close and from there, seeing the exact path to navigating safely. If you happen to be listening to this podcast episode of the DoorGrow Show after the webinars already happened, so after April the 9th, 2020, no problem. You can still go back to the exact same URL. You can see the resources and the replays there so that you are not left in the dark. Jason: navigatethecashcrunch.com/doorgrow. Tim: Yes, indeed. Absolutely. Maybe you guys can throw that in the show notes or something like that for anyone listening to the podcast. Jason: Absolutely. Tim: That's that. I think that somewhat as a final thought on my end over here. It's just that deep down inside, we as entrepreneurs, we take on a lot to be great leaders. I do view property managers as entrepreneurs. I hope they do too, because they are there. They're doing the courageous things of entrepreneurs every single day. Sometimes leadership isn't easy. Sometimes it has uncomfortable conversations. Sometimes it has uncomfortable moments. I think that there's something really beautiful about getting clear on where we are. Oftentimes we talk about our goals and what's the most important to us, but we also have to be very clear about where we are. Getting to Austin, Texas is very different if you're starting in Chicago versus Waikiki. Knowing where we are right now with free cash, and then from there being able to map the path with our cash flow forecast, it really creates calm, it really creates clarity. Therefore, it really creates confidence which then creates creativity that we can now take on this new economy. Something I am very sure about is not anyone including myself could have specific data around this. I just know my gut, Jason, that the economy that we had two months ago, it's over. It's gone. I don't just mean bull versus bear. What I mean is the way we did business once upon a time is forever changed. I'm very nervous for what kind of discomfort is coming for anyone who thinks that how we used to do things is coming back to what it used to be. As we chart into these new territories, I think being able to be calm, clear, confident, and creative is the path. It takes courage and just a couple simple tools to be able to have that. I think that if we're operating from clear facts and confidence, we become lighthouses that can attract what we need to attract into our worlds, and also fend away what we need to fend away. We're not left making super emotional decisions. One of my mentors, his name is Keith Cunningham, he talks about emotion and intelligence often working inverse of one another. The more emotional we are, which is really saying the more that we're in our amygdala, the less that we're in the frontal lobe of our brain, the less our executive functioning is there and the less that we're able to make intelligent, clear, confident decisions. On the flip side, the more that we can make calm, clear, confident decisions, the less that we become really emotional about what's going on. That's not to say we're not passionate. We are so passionate about our businesses. Yes, emotion has its right place. We just don't want to get stuck making decisions or taking action that we may regret down the road. Jason: Absolutely. Tim, thanks for coming on the show. Everybody else, make sure you tune in when we do our presentation. For those listening, watch the replay. Until next time to our mutual growth. Bye, everyone. Never forget to use the Div - Table style generator and the online HTML editor to compose perfect articles for your website!

In this episode, I take a look at the no.1 question that Alias Marketing and Design is being asked during these turbulent times for local businesses. If I've missed any let me know !! But what is the question ? www.aliasmarketinganddesign.ie

Life is about honoring the process, knowing how you're going to be a profitable visionary and how you're going to feel successful from the inside out as a visionary.  You can't plant apple seeds and expect to get oranges. It's not how it works. And that's what people are doing when they're not lined up when their head says one thing, and their heart says something else.  How can you use the cycles of life for your benefit? In this week's episode, we're going to talk about the seasons of life. Part One of ‘Seasons of Life’ I want to look at the cycle of seasons as the hallmark or the foundation for this conversation — winter, spring, summer, and fall. I live in Florida, where there's not much winter and fall. The winter season is a profound season. It's a season of going within, resting, and getting ready for the year to come, which makes it very special. It's meant to be celebrated as a way to go deeper within our soul and our emotions of who we are as human beings so that when we come forth in the spring, there is something even more amazing about what we bring to the world. And every winter we go through that time.  I used to dislike winters a lot because it wasn't very daylight and I didn't like the cold when I was younger. And I always had a hard time until I realized the powerful significance and meaning of winter. Now I am fully embracing the winter season. I will hibernate a little more. I'll meditate a little bit more, journaling and doing all those things to open up who I am spiritually and emotionally and fuel my system so that as spring gets here, I can spring forth. “Your personal development is meant to move you forward.” – Dianne A. Allen (13:30-13:34) So, winter is the beginning of the cycle. And then we come slowly into the springtime. Now, the springtime is when we plant the seeds for what we want to grow in the summer. If you're going to plant seeds of apple seeds, don't look for oranges. You're going to get apples. The same thing is true with our thinking. If I plant seeds in the spring of fear, pain, greed, and shame, then that is when I'm going to be reaping later on in the fall. If I plant seeds of kindness, compassion, love, and generosity, that's what I'm going to be collecting in the fall.  I ask you when you come to the spring of any part of your life, whether it's the actual spring season or maybe it's the cycle of something that you're working on or doing, what seeds are you planting? Your seeds come from what you're thinking about. So, if I'm walking around and I'm not paying any attention, then what's going to happen is it's going to be random stuff. I'm going to have weeds, I'm going to have all different kinds of plants. And it may not be at all what I want to harvest.  So, I want to be disciplined about what I'm thinking about, and I want to focus on it. As I plant the seeds, I know what I'm doing. Spring is a powerful time because as the seeds are planted by the end of spring and coming into summer, they're germinating. They're coming forth. That's why everyone loves the flowers, everything that comes to life. And that's how you see the hibernating animals come out, and all the changes happen.  I live by a lake, then here's the ducks, the little bunnies and the birds. And there's a cardinal family out there with the little babies and the eagles, all of them. It's the spring. We're bringing forth new life. So, it applies not only during the regular seasons of the year but the seasons of a project we're doing. So, I might have a great idea for a new thing. And that's the spring. And then the summer is when I'm growing it. That's when it rains more. And that's when the sun nourishes the soil and the plant. And it grows and grows.    Corn grows right in the summer. Most of our crops grow in the summer because that's when the growing season is, as the days are longer, and it is a very good environment for growth. Whatever seeds we plant in life as a visionary leader, we can either choose to pull the weeds out when they're little or let them grow along. All kinds of things can happen.    Fall or autumn comes next. That's when we get the harvest. I love the idea of reaping what we've sown over the years. What are we reaping? What are we bringing in? The cornucopia of amazement of what I've planted in the spring grew in the summer, and now I'm harvesting it in the fall. And that's a compelling image when we think about what it is we're planting, what we're growing, what we're nurturing, and feeding because that's what we're going to harvest. So, what are you harvesting? What is it that you want to have, and what is it that you're getting right. Part Two of ‘Seasons of Life’ The winter season is so important because that's where we replenish our resources. That's where we allow ourselves to have stillness and quiet so that as humans, we can decide what to plant in the next spring. That's where we get to heal and bring back together any part of us that was fragmented or maybe even tired from the busy growing season. Then pretty soon, we're invited to plant new seeds so that new things can grow, and we can nourish through the summer in the fall. Thus, is the cycle of seasons. And so, these cycles and the seasons of our life are meant to live in this circular rhythm.   However, we in the Western world have a belief or a way we've been taught. I guess that says everything's linear. If I've been doing this behavior for 30 days, I should have this result. It's all linear, and that's not true. Our life is not meant to be linear or life is circular. There are cycles to it. We're meant to have a rhythm that moves us forward in a circle like the cycle of the moon. We go from the full moon. It wanes down to half-moon, crescent moon, the new moon. It waxes up and goes to half-moon. And then, back to the full moon again. And it keeps doing that same thing. We are meant as human beings and as mammals on earth to live within the cycles of seasons. “Your happiness is not predicated on what's outside of you.” – Dianne A. Allen  This is really important, especially if you have any grieving or sadness going on because a lot of people think that if you lost somebody, you should be strong and get over it quickly. Well, that's not true. That's not how it works. We're taught erroneously to be strong and stoic. That's old news. Grieving takes a full cycle of seasons. And if I allow myself to live in the cycle and make friends with the flow of the universe, then I'm not pushing or trying to get life to do something it's not meant to do. I'm not creating any more harm or pain for myself. To be connected to all of who you are, that's what matters more than anything in the world. Learn how to use what you've learned as a human being to move you into a greater place of harmony, peace, and goodness. That means both your personal and professional development, it's meant to move us forward. It's extremely valuable to see things in a cycle of seasons. How To Connect With Dianne A. Allen You have a vision inside to create something bigger than you. What you need is a community and a mentor. The 6-month Visionary Leader Program will move you forward. You will grow, transform and connect. http://bit.ly/DianneAAllen Join our Facebook Group Someone Gets Me  Follow our Dianne’s Facebook Page: Dianne A. Allen, Author Email contact: dianne@someonegetsme.com Dianne’s Mentoring Services: https://visionsapplied.com/ Be sure to take a second and subscribe to the show and share it with anyone you think will benefit. Until next time, remember the world needs your special gift, so let your light shine!

Faith, Family & the FeastBy Kent & Shannon Rollins Intro: Welcome to the number one cookbook podcast Cookery by the Book with Suzy Chase. She's just a home cook in New York City, sitting at her dining room table, talking to cookbook authors.Kent Rollins: My name is Kent Rollins and we are so proud and honored to have this cookbook come out, Faith, Family and the Feast. Me and Shannon worked hard for this one. We want people to know that we all need a little more helpings of this Faith, Family and the Feast in this world today.Suzy Chase: We could really use your insight and wisdom right now during this coronavirus pandemic. So out on the trail, naturally, you've been social distancing for years and you've also had to plan your grocery list very, very carefully because you go out on the range miles from civilization for what? Weeks is it?Kent Rollins: Yeah, sometimes five, six weeks at a time. Darling, we've always been people that learned how to improvise. When I was growing up, we were 14 miles from town and you didn't just go off to town and think, "Hey, I'm going to buy this," or "I'm going to buy that," because they might not have it. My mother taught me, "This may call for this in a recipe, but there's something that can take its place and you've already got it." And Shannon used to tell me that. She said, "I think that's why you did so good on Chop Grill Masters is because you learned to improvise and get by with stuff you didn't even know what it was. And it's that way today for folks. I know when in some places that there's stores that... I won't say they're not fully stocked, it's just that they've run out of stock and supply and demand sometimes gets a little of ahead of itself, but there's so many things that you can use to take the place of something else.Kent Rollins: One of the greatest ingredients that I ever found out that could help a lot was mayonnaise. I've put mayonnaise in many a recipe that called for eggs. And it's hard to fry mayonnaise for breakfast. Now, I ain't done that yet. If you're having mayonnaise and bacon, I thank them cowboys might've run me out at camp. But we made a lot of cakes with it, put it in a lot of bread. And that's another deal. We use a lot of sourdough and sourdough starter can take the place of any recipe that calls for milk or buttermilk so it's a time to get in the kitchen darling and just have a good time and we'll all get through.Suzy Chase: Now what about the cheaper cuts of meat? What could we do with those?Kent Rollins: There's a lot of cuts of meat that I'll call them value cuts and you can get some... for better lack of words, I'll just say tougher cuts of meat. And that can be some rounds, some bottom rounds, some top round. A lot of stuff that they might cube and make tender, you can still take that same slice of meat and go ahead and cook that down. Maybe stew it down if you need to make a stew, but it's really good if you can make you some mushroom gravy to put on that and just make a smothered steak. And you can lay that on a piece of that sourdough bread, cover it up with gravy and meat. I think you'd eat like a king.Suzy Chase: So food insecurity has to be weighing on people's minds right , with people losing their jobs and schools shut down and cities are basically closed. So give us five grocery items you think we should be buying if we're struggling financially.Kent Rollins: Well, I think to something that's non-perishable, if you can find them. There's a lot of ways you can use a can of beans and that's not just beans right out of the can. You can mix something with it; whether it be ground turkey, ground pork, ground beef and you can get by. But we're always trying to remember that we always have in our house is some type of protein and I prefer that to be beef, but we take what we can get and most of the time we're very fortunate to have it all. But also coffee, flour, sugar and if you can find dry beans, dry pasta, that stuff will keep forever. It'll stay on the shelf forever. And just today Suzy, there's a lot of folks out there that are looking for something they can make a recipe with and sardines is very plentiful in our little grocery store. So instead of using salmon to make a salmon patty, you can use that same can of sardines. Just make sure you drain that oil off of it good. And if you don't have an egg, put mayonnaise in there. It'll work.Suzy Chase: That's a good tip. So chicken is cheap and we can prepare chicken infinite ways. What should we be looking for in chicken? The whole chicken or pieces?Kent Rollins: Well, if you know how to cut a chicken up, you really, if you're trying to buy the whole pieces, it's cheaper just to buy a whole chicken and cut it up yourself. We usually try to buy chicken when it's on sale because it does freeze well it's... Thighs are usually pretty cheap. If you can buy some thighs and some legs, hey, them things, they make great chicken and dumplings also, which goes back to that sourdough starter and that sourdough bread.Suzy Chase: What are your thoughts on bouillon?Kent Rollins: Bouillon. I've used a lot of powdered stuff in my life and I do love some beef bouillon and chicken both. There's another one out there that I've come to be a fan of and that's con pollo, which is a Spanish version of some chicken broth granules. And it works well too, but you can make your own beef stock with that stuff or chicken stock and it's just good as gold.Suzy Chase: So rice combined with beans is a complete protein. How should we be seasoning this?Kent Rollins: Well, if it's at my house and we're having rice and beans and you can probably find them, I love to use some dried ancho chilies. And all you got to do to any kind of dried pepper like that is either crush it really good and use or just steam it really good, boil it in water and then take it out and run it through the blender or just mash it really well and put it back in there with them beans and rice, and it's better than Taco Bell.Suzy Chase: What do you recommend we cook big batches of to freeze?Kent Rollins: Well, if you can get an old tough cut of meat, and I don't mean old as an old age, but if you can just get an any tough cut of meat or maybe you can get the end of the chuck roast or maybe... there's a part of that on the hindquarter back around there that you can get. Stew is so easy to make and it doesn't have to have all the ingredients that we used to think we have. If you can just get by with throwing an onion in there with that, letting it cook, maybe some of them beans too. Peppers, jalapenos, it freezes really well. Chili's the same way. And you can make that out of anything. We're going to make it with beef or venison or elk, something like that. But it can be made out of turkey, it can be made out of chicken and it also freezes well. But we try to make enough big old pot of pinto beans or something like that, that we can freeze and they'll last us a long time.Suzy Chase: So your cookbook is called Faith, Family and the Feast. In terms of faith and hope, how are you dealing with this scary time?Kent Rollins: Well darling, ever day to us is a holiday. And we get up every morning, we give thanks to the good Lord for the breath we get to take in our lungs and the things that we get to do. I never take them for granted. And I'm not for sure what's going to happen with all this going around. And I know it affects a lot of folks and my heart goes out to each and every one of them. But you have to remember to, it will have a silver lining. I've never seen the darkness stay. The sun always shines. God's going to part them clouds and sunshine will rain down again. There will be smiles on people's faces. You won't be social distance. You be able to get around and visit folks. But Hey, there's a lot of you out there right now that's listening that you're, in a hotel room, you're at an apartment, you're at your house with your family, but you're surrounded with them.Kent Rollins: And that's family and that's friends. And there's phones and there's computers and you can stay in touch. And let's just all be smart, let's be safe, but count them blessings because there are a lot of folks out there putting their life on the line for us. We just need to be mindful of that.Suzy Chase: Well, I'm just so grateful for your advice. Thanks so much.Kent Rollins: Why thank you Suzy. It is a pleasure and God bless you darling, so much.Suzy Chase: You too. For more Cookery by the Book and to see what recipe I made out of this cookbook, head on over to Cookery by the Book on Instagram. Now on with the show. Back in 2015 you were my second cookbook podcast, with A Taste of Cowboy; another cookbook you wrote with your wife, Shannon. I think you and Shannon are the only cookbook authors out there right now, who can bring stories of the American West to life.Kent Rollins: Well, I was raised a ranching cowboy and we lived in a very small rural community that values were always strong and food was always good. And when I decided that I would make this my passion and my lifestyle, I was very blessed to have a beautiful young woman come along and tell me that, "Hey, I think we can do this together." And we try to create something that's in mother nature's kitchen that anybody can do inside or outside. But it's always been such a blessing, Suzy, for us to be able to go on big ranches and cook for working cowboys and see the things we've got to see because they will truly take your breath away from you.Suzy Chase: So a little bit of background on you. You were raised in the Southwest corner of Oklahoma, in a place called Hollis and do you still live there. You've been a cowboy all your life, but at a certain point you changed gears a little bit and started cooking for Elk hunters and you've been cooking ever since. Cowboys have played an important role in America's culinary traditions, dating back to the 1700s. Tell me about your mom. How did she encourage your love of cooking?Kent Rollins: We always told ourselves... I remember momma telling us when we were little, "We may not have much, but by the faith in God and the blessings that we have, we're going to put it on the table and it will nourish our bodies and we will think it is a feast." So I always took great pride in and what mama would try to teach me in the kitchen when I was young to cook. I can remember the first thing I ever made and the recipes in the cookbook, it was old fashioned chocolate cake. And I can remember standing on a stool Suzy, and stirring that batter with one of them old mixers. And I'm thinking, "This is the best thing ever. I like cooking." You can sort of dip your finger in there once in a while and get you a bite. But I didn't know at that time that you had to wash dishes also or I might have quit a little.Kent Rollins: But I seen my mother start with very little and make it into something great. I think that's one reason that I learned to improvise so well because we lived 12 miles from town at the time and if you didn't have it, you wasn't just going to run to the store and get it. You found out something that would work in its place.Suzy Chase: Was she born in Hollis too?Kent Rollins: No, she was born over about 70 miles from here, North of Granite, Oklahoma, or I'd say 60... probably in a little lake, creek community. And then she moved to Amarillo later on in life. And I can always remember telling the story. And this was the way my mother was. She said, "We were so poor that when we moved to Amarillo, they said you had to have shoes to go to school." And she told herself, "I've never had a new pair of shoes." Well, my mother never did go to school neither at that time, but she never let there keep that from her. She ended up getting an education, but it was one of them deals to where she always told me, "You have to put heart into everything you do, whether you're barefooted or got shoes on."Suzy Chase: As we talked about before, I grew up in Kansas and even though I live in New York city, my heart is still in Kansas. I love the Prairie more than any place else in the entire world. Describe stepping out of the cowboy teepee at 5:00 AM in the morning, or I think probably earlier, and the stars are close enough you can touch and the simplicity and beauty of it all.Kent Rollins: It's a great thing to me. And most of our mornings on a ranch do start very early; from 2:45 to four o'clock in the morning, depending on where you're at and what season it is; spring or fall. But when you can step out of that teepee and you're in 300,000 acres and there's no lights, there's no cars, there's no sound but what is the sound of mother nature and maybe horses or cattle stirring around somewhere and the night creatures; the hoot owls, the coyotes, but you when you can look up at them stars and they are so bright, it just sort of gives you a very peaceful feeling that you're in the right place. And I never take for granted any of them mornings that I get to see and I cherish every one of them.Suzy Chase: There aren't any grocery stores out on the range. I imagine you have to be so organized with your grocery list so you don't forget an ingredient, but you also have to be creative with ingredients. Right?Kent Rollins: Yeah. I can remember telling Shannon, one of the first big ranches she cooked on, we were 70 miles from the nearest town. And I told her, I said, "We will make a grocery list and we will make a menu. We're going to be there five weeks." The ranch people there buy the groceries, put it at headquarters when we stock up about once a week. But I said, "We will go over this menu time after time before we ever get there and we'll add three to four days to it because mother nature is really in control here." You don't know if you going to get rained out, blowed out. Something could happen to where you have to stay in four to five days more. So you take extra. So when you get out there and you're on one them recipes and you think, "Man, I ain't got no buttermilk. I wished I had some." Well that's when you learn to do that ol' milk and lemon juice or you can add a little milk and vinegar and you make your own.Kent Rollins: We got pretty close to running out of eggs one morning and we had just enough, but I can remember telling Shannon, I said, "If you'll look across there, it looks like it might be about four or five miles over there, there's a tree." I said, "We'll trot over there and see if there's a bird nest." And she said, "Are you serious?" And I said, "No. We do have enough eggs to get through on this one." But you do learn to what will take the place of some things or you get creative and you think, "Hey, I'm going to add this to this just see what happens." Cowboys were always great taste testers. And if their plate come back clean and they went back for third and fourth helpings, hey, you knew it was a keeper.Suzy Chase: You're known for mastering the historic way of cooking with the chuckwagon. The first time you ate off a chuckwagon was when you were 10. Can you describe this?Kent Rollins: We were across the river over... north of Quanah, Texas and I was just really thinking that I was in a land among giants. All of these old timers were my hero; my dad and all this old cowboys that he'd run around with. And they had a wagon parked out there by this branding pen. And I don't ever remember knowing the cook's name. He was sort of a little, overweight... His old back was pretty well-bent from all the years, I guess, he'd been bending over, picking up iron, but I can remember the smell of the coffee, one of the first things. Coffee was a staple that stayed on all day long, all night. The next morning, everything was there. But when you get in line, there was such an etiquette that went on to be at a place like that. You didn't go under the fly of the wagon, which was the tarp, unless you were asked.Kent Rollins: Everybody got in line, everybody took their hat off. You blessed the food and then you'd eat. And I was thinking, "This guy's a pretty good cook." I know you're not supposed to complain. He wasn't a good a cook as I thought my mother was. And I told my dad later that day that, I said, "This guy, he don't cook as good as momma." And I remember my dad smiling looking at me too, and he said, "He don't look good as momma neither." So, but it was something I learned. No matter what job that cook does, he's going to try to make it, if he's a good cook, edible, very nourishing and hot and on time if he can.Suzy Chase: How do you keep things hot?Kent Rollins: Well, we're pretty well blessed with old Bertha and that's a wood stove we got. She weighs about 345 pounds. And it's got sort of a lip on the backside, a folding tray that comes off, that's off the heat, but it'll still keep something warm for as long as you need it. Or if it's in a Dutch oven too, you can just sit it on a taller trivet, which keeps it off the ground and you just put a little heat under it and you can keep it warm. And I've always told Shannon and I always remembered too, when you're on a ranch and it comes time for that noon meal, you could be from 11:00 to 3:00, most of the time they're pretty good about coming in, but a cow don't own a watch and she don't care if she makes her enough trouble that you don't even get lunch.Suzy Chase: So in 1996 the governor of Oklahoma named you the official chuckwagon cook of Oklahoma. So you have an 1876 Studebaker chuckwagon. What's the story behind this?Kent Rollins: Well, I can remember looking for a wagon when I got through guiding elk hunters one year. I thought, "I think a man might could make a living going back and just cooking for some of them ranches that I used to visit and to work on." And I got to looking for a wagon. And at the time I was looking, they're not real plentiful in some places. And I found an old wagon that was in Spur, Texas and it was in pretty good shape. I ended up having to do some work on it, but it had come out of a barn and was reassembled. The origin was 1876 and it was a Studebaker chuckwagon. Studebakers were known for their great workmanship, but also they had a really, really good seat that had a lot of good iron work to it. And the old seat that was on this wagon had just rotted away.Kent Rollins: The iron was not even salvageable, which is sort of a treasurer if you can get a Studebaker wagon that has the original seat. But we rebuilt some of it, keep working on it. You can't just go down to Jiffy Lube and say, "Hey, I need y'all to change the oil on this and work on it." It's not like that, but it's one of them deals where if you keep it in good working order, it'll pay you back every time you use it. Just like cast iron.Suzy Chase: Are there any other Studebaker chuckwagons out there today or do you have the last one?Kent Rollins: No, there's quite a few really, when you get to looking. I have several friends that have some Studebaker wagons. There's two in Missouri that I know of and they were the Cadillac of wagons. Abraham Lincoln had a Studebaker wagon, a little carriage. When he got to the white house, he requested one. So they have been very popular for a long time.Suzy Chase: You enjoy writing and Shannon is a great editor. Talk a little bit about your process and collaboration.Kent Rollins: Well, I remember when we got together, Suzy, I was telling her all these old ranch stories. We'd be going down the road that we'd been catered in somewhere and I'd be telling her stories and she said, "You're going to write a blog." And I said, "I don't know if I know how to spell that or even know what it is." And she'd get me in there on the computer and I'd be writing these stories. And she'd say, "Okay, just email that to me." She'd be in another room and I had to send it in there and she'd say, "Okay, it's 1100 words. I really like where you're going, but now tell me the story like it really happened. I want to feel it from the heart." And I remember trying to write stuff in school and I made a D in speech class when I was in high school because I didn't like to get up in front of people. I didn't like to really write things down.Kent Rollins: But my dad fought a very long battle with cancer, which finally beat him. Writing was a way that I could deal with it. And when Shannon come along and would tell me, "I want to hear your voice in it. I want people to know they're sitting down right here beside you." And it is something that... I guess an old man told me one time we were cooking for them and then we had to do a little entertainment with it, he said, "You're the only person I know that can burn your food and your years at the same time and we still enjoy it.Suzy Chase: So I read somewhere that Rux Martin, your famed cookbook editor once said, "I'm looking for authors who have a lifetime of experience and have something fresh to say." That is you and Shannon to a T. How did you get hooked up with Rux Martin?Kent Rollins: Well first of all, let me tell you we dearly love Rux and she is a mess. She's funny as she can be. We did Chopped Grill Masters. It's probably been nearly seven, eight years ago now. I can't even remember when it came out. And we were in Shannon's hometown in Elko, Nevada. And we were sort of having a watch party. It'd come out on a Sunday. And the next day, the phone rang off the hook. There was producers calling here, there, right and left and wanting you to do something. But we had a message from a lady in New York city, Janice Danu, who was a book agent. So I called her and she was from originally, from the Nashville area and she sort of understood what I was and what it was sort of about. And she said, "Do you have a cookbook?" And I said, "We have a self-published book, ma'am, a paperback." She said, "What you need is one of them hardbound, full-color cookbooks. Because," she said, "I know it would be a treasure."Kent Rollins: And I remember she laughed at me. I said, "Ma'am, I can't afford one of them." And she said, "You don't have to." And we got hooked up with Rux the very first time that we went to New York City to present the proposal. And I told Shannon when we walked out of there, I said, "That Rux Martin is good people. She understands what this is about and I think she will do us a great job." I'm glad they got the bid. It's always been a blessing. We've laughed back and forth with Rux for a long time.Suzy Chase: I'm going to read the first part of your touching dedication at the beginning of this cookbook you wrote, "We dedicate this book to the little places; the ones you may have traveled through going somewhere else. Where Sunday socials after church offer not only five-star dining, but more importantly, fellowship." We don't talk much about fellowship much anymore. I'm curious to hear how fellowship shows up in your life.Kent Rollins: Well, it was always a central place was at a table, when we were growing up. You gathered family around that table. You had great food at that table. There was conversation at that table. Now when you go places, you go to a table, people seem to have a cell phone more in their hand than they do a fork. And I think it's time the world come back to a place to where, "Hey, let's sit down, let's visit, let's bless the food and let's talk about family. Let's talk about the good things in life." And fellowship is not only just around the table, we've done it around so many old camps that we were in, visiting with Cowboys and everything else, but the world could solve a lot of problems and be a better place if everybody just took time to sit down at a table and visit.Suzy Chase: A Cowboys day starts early and ends late. What are your evenings like after dinner, out on the range?Kent Rollins: Well, a lot of times the evening meal would be at 6:00 and especially if it's in the spring of the year, when it's light till 7:00, 7:30 anyways. So you get the dishes done and everybody's sort of just plumbed through by... we'll say 7:00. And it's really nice just to pull up a chair and me and Shannon can sit there. And sure, there's a lot of visiting that we do with cowboys, but to be able to just take that day in and say, "This was another great day above the grass that God has given us." But to hear the sounds, to watch a sun go down. It didn't go down behind a tree, it didn't go down behind a building. You got to watch it disappear, plum out of sight. The colors that are painted in them skies out there are some of the greatest things I've ever seen in life. And it just sort of takes your breath away every time you do get to see one.Suzy Chase: So jerky is a road warrior's survival snack. How do you make jerky without a dehydrator?Kent Rollins: Well, I can remember when we were young, especially if we raised our own beef. And at times, daddy and them processed our own beef. But there would always be those pieces that momma would think, "Hey, these would make stew meat," or, "These might make something. They're a little tough." But I can remember her making jerky the very first time in an old oven that... Well, it was a antique before she had it. But she always cracked that door just a little to let some of that moisture out of there. And the aroma that come through the house was some of the best thing ever. Because we hadn't been to stores and had jerky. We didn't know they had truck stops hardly.Kent Rollins: So we thought that was the greatest things; that my mother had probably invented one of the best things in the world. But as we got to going around and traveling, we didn't know they sold it in little cellophane packages that you could buy it. But you do not have to have a dehydrator if you'll follow this recipe in the book because it's so easy. The secret really is letting that meat marinade a long time, which is at least 24 hours. And hey, it is some good eating. And you can spice it up if you'd like change it, put more red pepper flakes in there. And it has got me down the road many a day.Suzy Chase: Earlier this week I made your recipe for green onion and ham scallop potatoes on page 136. Can you describe this recipe and what is the secret ingredient?Kent Rollins: This is something we always had on our table at any special occasion, especially... I would say most of the time it was Easter. But my mother would throw this out there and man, oh man, it'd be good. But Shannon, she sort of took this to a new level. My mother really never did put ham in hers and when Shan did this... but the secret ingredient to me, Suzy, is the dip. The French onion dip that goes in there makes this so much more creamier and the flavors that it brings out... This is a happy meal that don't come in a sack and to me, I don't need nothing else. If I've got a spoon and one of these in front of me, I can eat the whole panful.Suzy Chase: Totally, because sometimes scallop potatoes can be bland, but I think the dip really brings some zing to it.Kent Rollins: Oh it does. And when you can add the mozzarella, because my mother at times, wouldn't put cheese on hers and sometimes she did. It was mostly a milk and flour substance going along with salt and pepper and some onion. But when you take the ham, the green onion and then you blend that dip in there with it again, it is so good.Suzy Chase: And it's a full meal. You don't need anything else.Kent Rollins: Yeah. If you just sit the pan down in front of you and get you four or five big spoons and have everybody gather around, you're in pretty good shape.Suzy Chase: Now for my segment called My Favorite Cookbook. Aside from this cookbook, what is your all time favorite cookbook and why?Kent Rollins: I would say our first cookbook, A Taste of Cowboy, because it was the first one that we had put out, but my sister and... I guess I can call it a cookbook. We were mentioning Cindy before she was born of cerebral palsy and we ended up... Momma got her a typewriter. And an uncle of ours fixed her a cover that went on the keyboard and my sister could type with her thumb. And she typed recipes that my mother, she'd pin up there and she'd type them. And they were just in a little green binder Suzy. And it was just called Cindy's Recipes. And these were things that had been around our house forever, but also aunts, neighbors, people that had come to family reunions, stuff that just... you knew was a cherished dish. And to have that and still have it now that my sister's created it, it is a treasure.Suzy Chase: Where can we find you on the web, YouTube and social media.?Kent Rollins: On that what thing I call the Google, you can just type in Kentrollins.com and it'll come up. We have a great website and Shannon has took me a long way into the modern age. We have a great YouTube channel and it's just Cowboy Kent Rollins as well. We were approaching a million subscribers now. We have a video that comes out every Wednesday at 2:30 central. And this is really where the title of the cookbook sort of stemmed from was from our YouTube family because we have such a large faith-based veteran America-supporting bunch of people that I've ever known. And I'm touched Suzy by the emails we get, the letters we get.Kent Rollins: We've got flags that have flew over aircraft carriers that service men and women have sent us. It's very touching. When I pay them tribute at the end of every video, I do it because I honor them, but they honor us so much in the sacrifices that they made. But when they send us something like that, if you want to see a cowboy cry... They have wrote some letters that touched my heart so much. We are proud to be on social media. We're there on Instagram, we're there on Twitter and all of it is just Cowboy Kent Rollins. It'll get you there.Suzy Chase: As your mother used to say, "In life and in cooking, we all require love and someone to ride along with." This has been so wonderful, Kent. Thanks so much for coming on Cookery by the Book podcast again.Kent Rollins: Well Suzy, you are like family to us, honey. And you are welcome in our camp anytime.Outro: Subscribe over on Cookerybythebook.com and thanks for listening to the number one cookbook podcast, Cookery by the Book.

Hello high performers and high performing leaders. I’m coming at you with a little bit of a heavy heart because we are in the middle of the Covid-19 pandemic. This episode is near and dear to my heart, both Jay Salim and I have a background and work with people in HR and operations and so we wanted to bring you an episode on the high performing teams podcast that really helps you. I would say we centered it a lot around at HR, right, so whether you are working with people or in operations or whatever you want to call it, we did gear a lot towards HR. But sort of stepping back and just hanging out with Jay, I think there are so many goodies in here for leaders. For those of you who may not be leaders or people leaders in your organization yet by title, but you are blazing a path, you are an influencer internally, you are called to serve and continue to do that. So I think you guys are all going to get a lot out of this. Specifically, Jay and I talk about tips for being a solid partner to both the business and employees during times of change. We give five or six tips that you can leverage. So take the time, pull out the notebook and pen because I think you guys are going to want to be taking notes in this episode. It is a lot of value, especially during times of change and what we are all experiencing right now. So look, I'm sending you all peace and progress wherever you are, hoping that you and your family are safe and sound and moving forward.   “You know, being a doorman, you're a problem solver. It taught me how to adjust my personality and communication to my audience, because the building of 200-300 different people and they all have different personalities. Some of them are very rich and pretentious, and you'd have to communicate with those people in a certain way and some are down to earth and you can be a bit more natural with them. It actually taught me to be a little bit of a chameleon which is something I actually pride myself on being able to adapt to my environment and situation and adjust accordingly.” At minute 5:15, Jay recalls one of his first job experiences as a doorman and how that job helped shape his communication skills for today. He also highlights the importance of adapting to your environment.  “I once had a CEO ask me, ‘Why do you think Mercedes can charge 10 times what Kia can charge for a car?’ And I said, ‘Oh, it's quality. The parts are more expensive,’ and he was like, ‘No. It's about the brand, right? They have built a reputation of being elite, for lack of a better term, and you have to think of yourself as a brand too. And everything you do contributes to your perception what your brand is.’” At 19:38, Jay shares wisdom he learned from a colleague about the importance of branding and perception in your business. Paying attention to your brand will allow you to instill passion into your company’s culture, help you make pragmatic choices, and further your understanding of the business. “You have to be strong for everyone, especially in HR. If I've had to catch myself a couple of times, to be like, ‘Okay, people are looking to me as the leader and the person that's supposed to bring a sense of calm and instill confidence in people.’ So I've had to be strong. But take this opportunity to step up as a leader to introduce new ideas. There's no way you're gonna make everybody happy at this time, but at least give them a little bit of an escape and have them stop thinking about life or work for a while and just be humans, you know?” At minute 33:56, Jay stresses the importance of looking out for the people of your organization and allowing them to be human. While also realizing that people will turn to their HR department for confidence and strength in uncertain times. Jay shared a lot of valuable information about how to be a strategic partner during times of change. He also gave a lot of helpful communication tips for all of us, so make sure to stay tuned! If you want to know more about Jay and Complex, go to https://careers.complex.com/. Don’t forget to follow him on Instagram @jayflatbush, Twitter @JayFlatbush and on LinkedIn. Go follow him now!  I hope you liked today’s episode. Please don’t forget to subscribe on all podcast platforms and while you’re there, please don’t forget to rate and review! I truly appreciate and love you, and can’t wait to see you in the next episode! P.S. Please don’t forget to tag me on Instagram @theannaoakes and connect on LinkedIn to share your big takeaways and for more Build High Performing Teams updates. I’ll see you there!  Peace & Progress, Anna

I got to know Andrea Mazzariello fairly soon after I moved to Northfield Minnesota. I saw him perform his one-man performance project at a local theater, and hung around after to talk. Things led to other things, and we started talking about Max, playing drone bits in his basement and more. This podcast was prodded into action by a release party for his new album, which dropped at the end of February. This piece - Make A Wish Then Build A Ladder  (https://www.onemorerevolution.com/am-jt) features something new for Andrea - working with another percussionist. In our discussion, he talks about that decision, how he translates this back to working a live/solo show, and how it helps him cope with the stresses of creating his work. But we talk about a lot of other stuff as well. I mean, who remembers the old Brother MIDI Sequencer? Well, Andrea does, because that was his starting point for electronic music. Who is willing to talk about the affordances - both positive and negative - of modern software? Andrew is. I appreciated his candor about both his own experience and the difficulties he's faced over the years. If I've come to know anything about Andrea, it's that he is a brave soul. Enjoy! And check out his work on his website: https://www.andreamazzariello.com/. For Patreon patrons, I have more information about the podcast interview, and even an except from his book.

Transcription (was completed by automated process. Please ignore any speech-to-text errors)   [00:00:06] I'm so glad you joined us. For those of you who don't remember me, my name is Penny. And welcome. Welcome to this next session of get sellers calling you Beatty Carmichael. Beatty is the CEO of Master Grabber, the creator of Agent Dominator and one of the top marketing expert in the real estate field. Beatty, I'm super excited. I know you always have something great for us today. What are we going to be discussing today? [00:00:31] Well, today we're back on another radical safe's topic, which means that this has nothing to do with real estate marketing and everything to do with living boldly as a Christian. So if you're not interested in that topic, feel free to turn this episode off and wait for the next one. But that's what we're going to be talking about today. [00:00:52] Great. Super excited. [00:00:55] Yes. And so in continuation from the last radical faith call, we're on a short series. When bad things happen, is it God's will? And today, we're gonna be talking part to kind of this sub topic on this is going through dark times. Have you ever gone through dark times in your Christian life? [00:01:16] Yes. OK. I want to remember, actually. Yeah, I think. [00:01:22] I think it's part of the process that God that the Lord uses both for us and for accomplishing his will. And a lot of times it's hard to really discern what's going on. So I want to go back to kind of the core question that I asked you last time. You said that God is sovereign and that he is in control. So the question is, if God is sovereign in control and does that mean that everything that happens is his will? [00:01:54] And do we blame him for it? Right. So that's one of those questions that we all wrestle with and we talk about. There are basically four things that could be going on. Number one, when bad things happen, we really have to understand first what is bad. Okay. Bad is bad if its source is evil and the outcome is evil. Right. [00:02:17] And that can happen. And I think a lot of the real heartaches that we go through in life may actually have its roots there. We're going to talk about that on the next session. Then last session, we talked about how God directs our steps and we have the freedom to freewill, to use your terminology, to disregard his direction and place our foot down where we want to is or where he wants to. And when that happens, it says that we stumble. And so sometimes when bad things happen, it could simply be a consequence of us simply not following the Lord's direction. Okay. [00:03:04] And so I would call that not bad, but just consequence and probably inconvenient more than anything else. Another thing that happens when things are bad is they're actually directed by God because we have sinned and he's bringing discipline into our life. So it feels bad, but the outcome is good. And then the last thing that happens when things feel bad is when the source is a lord and it's all for our good and even discipline is for our good. But it but in this case, it's all for our destiny or for the Lord is leading us. So it feels bad. It seems dark. But if we could see from God's perspective, it's really an amazing journey. And that's what I want to talk about today. So we ready? [00:03:58] Was great. [00:04:00] Ok. So we're going to if we can wrap it all in quickly, we're going to talk about two stories. Two people, actually, more than two people. But their stories are known by the people are the story of Joseph. And the story of Esther. And I'm assuming you know both of those stories, right? [00:04:17] Yes. Great story. [00:04:20] All right. So let's see how well you know it. Now he's now is gone by. Alicia, details. How old was Joseph when he went out to find his brothers in the field? [00:04:36] Later, I want to say sixteen or seven. Yeah. [00:04:40] Good. Seventeen. So that's going to tie into this. So let me give you just a little background. And I'm going to just kind of read from the Bible and skip around a lot. Normally, I'd like to read, but this this kind of story forms. I want to tie it together. [00:04:59] So this starts in Genesis, Genesis 37. And for the most part, if you don't recognize some of this verbiage is coming from the living Bible, which makes things sometimes a little bit easier. And it starts like this. Joseph's brothers, of course, noticed their father's partiality and consequently hated Joseph, okay. [00:05:22] They couldn't say a kind word to him one night. Joseph had a dream and promptly reported the details. His brother's causing even deeper hatred. Listen to this. He announced we were out in the field binding cheese, and my chief stood up and you're she's all gather round me and bowed low before it. So the brother said, So you want to be our king, do you? And they hated him, both for the dream and his cocky attitude. So here's a question for you. [00:05:49] Did Joseph, do you think, grow up in a loving family? Yeah. With his brothers hating him the whole time. [00:05:59] Now that a loving family. No, no. Okay. [00:06:06] So his father loved him. Yes. But his brothers hated him. It says three times that they hated him, they hated him. They hated him. [00:06:14] So can you imagine living in an environment where your closest relatives are all hating you? [00:06:21] I cannot. Would you call that good or bad? [00:06:26] Bad? Yeah, I would think so, too. So then we read a little bit long further. So now Joseph is 17 years old, his father, Israel. Okay. So just give you the genealogy. Have Abraham Isaac Jacob Jacob's name was changed to Israel and Israel had 12 signs. Those are the 12 tribes of Israel. And son number eleven, if I'm correct, is Joseph. Okay. And so he sends Joseph out into the fields to find all of his other sons. The other ten brothers at that time to his 10 older brothers. And and just check on what's going on. So this is where we pick up. And he says, but when they saw him coming, recognizing him in the distance, they decided to kill him. Okay. Here we have that loving family again. Let's kill our brother. Here comes that master dreamer, they exclaim. Come on, let's kill him and toss him into a wall and tell father that a wild animal has eaten him. [00:07:28] Then we'll save what will become of all of his dreams. So they're still jealous of what God has given him as a dream. [00:07:37] So says when Joseph got there, they pulled off his brightly colored robe. Okay, so his father given him a robe of righteousness, robes or status symbol in this one was greater status symbol because it had lots of bright colors. And so it says that they threw off his robe and threw him into an empty well. And then they see a bunch of traders come by. And so when the traders came by, his brothers pulled Joseph out of the well and sold him into the traders for 20 pieces of silver. [00:08:17] And they took compete. Now, can you imagine at this moment, Joseph being thrown into the well by his brothers, being rough handle and then being yanked up and sold into slavery for only 20 pieces of silver. What do you think's going on in Joseph's mind at that point? [00:08:34] He's got to feel completely rejected and was scared. [00:08:39] Yeah. So many things. Did he feel like he deserved any of this? No. Do you think he was questioning God? [00:08:50] Yes, absolutely. We always question God because we don't trust him, do you think if he trusted God as Moses, trusted God as he was as there going through the wilderness? Do you think if he trusted God at that level that he would be questioning God quite so much? Probably not. No. So what I find is we question God the most when we don't really trust him. In other words, when we keep our eyes on ourselves and not on the Lord in his word, that's usually when we question what's going on. Does that make sense? [00:09:28] Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. [00:09:30] So then we pick up. This is now in Genesis thirty nine. So Joseph arrives in Egypt, his soul to part offer a member of Pharaoh's staff. Okay. Part 4 later puts him in charge of all of his affairs. And then one day part of first wife begins making eyes at Joseph and suggests that he come and sleep with her. And what is Joseph to you, remember? [00:09:54] He says no. That's right. He says no. He says, my master, trust me, with everything in the entire household. He he's held nothing back from me except you because you are his wife. How could you do such a wicked thing? Is this. It would be a great sin against God? No. Do you think Joseph loves the Lord? Yes. Do you think he's following the law the best he can? I do. Yeah. Okay. And now this woman's coming after him, is Josef's acting properly and faithfully? [00:10:31] He is. Yeah. And what happened to you, remember? [00:10:37] I think she keeps pushing like she keeps trying to seduce them and really try to get him to go along with what she wants. And he keeps saying no. And she gets upset. [00:10:50] That's right. You don't want to give way too much. Yeah, that's right. Okay. [00:10:54] Well, hopefully most of folks are listening to this. Probably have some some recollection of Joseph, but let's read into it. Then one day as he was in the house and no one else was around at the time, she came and grabbed him by the sleeve demanding sleep with me. He tore himself away, but as he did, his jacket was robe slipped off and he was left holding. She was holding it as he fled from the house. When she saw that he she had it and he had fled, she began screaming. And when the other men around the place came running and she was crying hysterically, my husband had to bring in this Hebrew slave to insult us. She saw. He tried to rape me, but when I screamed, he ran and forgot to take his jacket. So do you think Joseph has been wrongly accused? [00:11:44] Yes. If this is this good or bad? [00:11:48] Bad? Yeah. So what's happening? Is this one bad even after another, isn't it? His brothers hate him. They try to kill them. They throw mental until well, then they sell sell them into slavery. And then he's doing well. He's acting righteously before God. His master puts him in control of everything. Now he gets slammed again and it gets even worse. So says that when her husband came home that night, she told him her story. That Hebrew slay that you've had around here. Try to rape me. And when he heard it, he was furious and he threw Joseph into prison down into the dungeon. [00:12:29] How do you think Joseph is feeling right now? [00:12:33] Or cannot be. Yeah. [00:12:36] Do you think he's going, oh, lord. Thank you. I'm so excited. I'm right in the center of your will. [00:12:43] No, I haven't. I think he probably had a few choice words. [00:12:47] Probably so. Let me ask you. Was he right in the center of God's will? [00:12:54] Well, that's a trick question. Yes, he was. I think I know, yeah. Come on the story. [00:13:01] That's right. That's right. So this is a key. When we know the outcome, we can now piece it all together going through it. [00:13:09] We have to trust the father's heart. [00:13:14] Yeah, and not worry. [00:13:18] Okay. As we always worry, but the more we trust the father's heart, the more we can handle any of these quote unquote, dark times that come our way because we know who's in control. So now this is now we're in Genesis 40 sometime later. It happened that the king of Egypt, pharaoh, became angry with his chief baker and his chief butler. So he's thrown throws him into the prison where Joseph is. And then one night, each of them have a dream. And Joseph interprets both of those dreams and the dreams that his interpretation actually comes comes true. Jon Favreau decides to hold the party. He pulls both the baker and the butler out. He puts a butler back in a position and he kills the baker. Justice Joseph said, What's going to happen? So does and Joseph said, hey, Butler, when you get out. Remember me, tell Pharaoh about me. I've done nothing to be here. I've. You know, I've done nothing against my own people who have been sold into slavery. I've done nothing wrong. Please tell him. And what did the butler do? [00:14:32] He remembered. [00:14:34] I think he if I remember right again, I want to give why he lied. But I think he tells Pharaoh, I know somebody that can interpret dreams. [00:14:44] Yeah. Okay. So so watch this. This is cool. So now we're in Genesis 41. One night, two years later. Okay. It was two years later. Joseph still is in dark times in the dungeon. No freedom, no light, no, no nothing but grunge. Okay. [00:15:09] Two years later, Pharaoh dream. Two dreams. No one could interpret them. Then the butler remembers Joseph at that point, is that are you know, I totally forgot some time ago when you you're angry with a couple of us and put me in there, Chief Baker in jail. Baker and I each had a dream. One night we told the dreams to a young Hebrew who was a slave of the captain there, and he told us what our dreams meant. And everything happened. Just as he said, I was restored to my position and the baker was executed. So Pharaoh sent for Joseph at once. Okay, now, is this good or bad? [00:15:50] This is good if he's getting called out of prison. [00:15:53] Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it sure looks good, right? Yes. OK. Can you see the Lord's hand starting to move right now in this pressure? [00:16:04] Yeah. Okay. Now to put this in perspective, this is eleven years after. Joseph has been sold into slavery. [00:16:12] He's now 28 years old from 17 to 28. He's been a slave. So then Joseph interpretted dreams tells Pharaoh that both dreams are saying the same thing, that there's gonna be seven years of great abundance. And then seven years of the most severe famine that's gonna be so severe, you won't even remember how abundant it is. And and then pharaoh says talks. His advisers said, well, we need to put someone in charge to manage all this. Who do we do? And so now I want to pick up and I'm one. Reed, this is Genesis 41, starting in thirty nine. [00:16:55] And then it says then Pharaoh said to Joseph, Since God has shown you all this, there is none so discerning and wise as you are, you shall be over my house and all my people shall order themselves as you command only as regards the throne will I be greater than you. In other words, Pharaoh now puts him in second in control of all of Egypt. [00:17:19] Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his hand and and put on Joseph's hand. Here's the significance. The signet ring means that Joseph can do anything in the king's name. [00:17:30] By the way, as Christians, we've been given the Lord's signet ring. Okay. [00:17:39] So now there's some deep implications on how effectively we end up using that. But that's another story. So he takes a signet ring, puts it in Joseph's hand. And then during the seven plentiful years, the earth produced abundantly and in the seven years of plenty came to an end and a seven years of famine began to come, as Joseph had said. [00:18:05] So here's kind of the summary I want to go through with all this. The Lord is directing all of these events in Joseph's lives. Would you agree? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:18:17] So Joseph was a man at God's own heart. [00:18:19] And even in his flavouring, in imprisonment, we know that he sought the Lord because he always tried to do what was honorable and. [00:18:28] The Lord always put him in charge of bless everything that was going on. So we see the Lord's hand upon Joseph. Even in the dark times. Did you in your dark times, have you ever seen the Lord's hand kind of still working with you and through you during those tough times? [00:18:44] Yes. Yes. It's hard to say. You know, you're natural. I tend to focus on the dark. But for sure. For sure. God was there. [00:18:53] That's right. And I've seen the same thing over and over again. And. And so back Joseph, because he was faithful in the small things as he was coming through. We'll call this his wilderness experience. As he was coming through this wilderness, then the lord put him in charge of much, just as what Jesus says, because you had been faithful in a little. Now be in charge of tent cities as he's the parable with the miners. And then. But here's the key. From Joseph's perspective, as he's going through it, each event merely seemed to have a natural cause and effect. His brothers hated him. He has a dream. They hated him more. He goes and they decide to kill him. They throw him in a well. Then they say, lis-, thelen, every single thing. There is a cause and effect that Joseph is putting together. Does that make sense? Oh, yeah. Okay. So from his perspective, it was just one bad even after another. I'm sure he felt bitter. Bitter. I'm sure he questioned God on what was happening. And yet here's the thing. The Lord is directing every step of his, so if you remember last session, passage after passage after passage. Lord Lord is telling us he guides our step. He directs our step. He's cha-cha-cha path even tells us where to stop and rest. And what we find here is every step is guided and directed by the Lord. And finally, Joseph comes to that same realization once his brothers come and provides food. Okay. Because Joseph set for God sent me before you to preserve life. Joseph finally figured out what was going on. Later. He figured out it was his destiny that the Lord was working on. And until we see the Lord guiding all of this, let's see. Let me think a couple other thoughts on this before we shift some topics. So. So here's a question. When bad things happen. Does guide calls it? We can obviously look at this life of Joseph. All these things that were seemingly bad. Here's the question. Did God cause all those events to happen? [00:21:23] No. No. Then what happened? [00:21:29] He used them. Yeah, he did them for yeah. Did he know they were going to happen? All right. Who knows all things? [00:21:41] He knows all things. And he used them. [00:21:45] So sometimes we find a guy who uses the bad debts in the world to propel us. To the good destiny that he has for us. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think think about Jesus. Satan was gonna try everything he could to stop Jesus. Do you think I knew that? [00:22:11] Oh, for sure. [00:22:13] And do you think everything that Satan did to stop Jesus actually playing God's hand to fulfill Jesus's destiny? [00:22:22] Yeah, they're. [00:22:25] Do you think God is a respecter of persons? [00:22:32] I think he treats us all the same. I think he loves us all the same. [00:22:36] Yeah. Paul says God is no respecter of persons, right? Yeah. [00:22:41] So he thinks of his favorite neighbor. We're all here, too. That's right. [00:22:47] We're all his favorite. So here's the thing. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. What he does, for one, he does for all because he respects no one greater than someone else. This is why when and this is what it says. You know, because faith was reckoned righteousness was reckoned to Abraham because of his faith. So is righteousness reck into us because of our faith? In other words, God sets a precedent what he does for what he does for all. And what we find here with Joseph, the Lord is leveraging all of these evil things that are going on. [00:23:28] That guy knows ahead of time. But he uses those almost like the picture I'm getting is saw like that. Have you ever played a pinball machine? Yes. What? The ball. It hits a thing. It goes somewhere else. It bounces around. Okay. It's almost like God knows every little post out there and swiped the ball in just the right direction to hit one post and another post in the next post pushes the ball a little bit further and it guides all the way to homerun. [00:23:57] Okay. Enter into the goalpost. And that's kind of what's going off and going here. So. There is a possibility that God caused some of this to happen. These think God caused a Israel to love Joseph more than the other brothers. [00:24:17] Oh, that's a tough question. No. The only reason I say no, God doesn't cause bad is because God is good. [00:24:27] Right. No, I don't. I don't. I don't. Okay. [00:24:31] Is Israel loving Joseph more than the other brothers? Good or bad? [00:24:38] Then God says, Jacob, I loved you, so I hate it. Is that good or bad? [00:24:46] Which is bad for itself, but is God good? Yes. [00:24:52] Ok, so what is good for God? [00:24:55] Can it also be good for man? [00:24:58] Yes. So if if God cause Israel to love Joseph more than the other brothers, is that good or bad? [00:25:11] Aschen, I think. [00:25:14] Yes, he says he's not causing Israel to hate the other brothers, but just to love Joseph Moore. Do you think God caused Joseph caused Israel to make Joseph a bright, multicolored jacket? Yeah. Do you think God knew that that would create jealousy and hatred among the brothers? Yes. Do you think God caused Joseph to have those dreams? I do. Do you think he knew that those trains would cause jealousy and hatred among the brothers? [00:25:50] Yes. OK. So here's what we have. We see God causing a lot of events that had the repercussions of evil responding that God uses to push Joseph toward his destiny. Do you think that's possible that he's doing the same thing in our lives at times as well? [00:26:14] Yeah. Okay. Is kind of cool. [00:26:18] Yes. Very cool. All right. [00:26:21] So. So we pick up a lot of things and just some really interesting things. Let's say this to try and catch up on where I am on my notes. When bad things happen to us. We must first try to decide, are they truly bad or are they simply not what we desire? Is it truly bad that the brothers hated Joseph? Is it truly bad that they wanted to kill him? Is it truly bad that they sold him into slavery? Are all these things truly bad? Or ultimately, are they just simply not what we desire? But they happen to be the best thing for us because they push us where the Lord is directing us and we don't. We can't tell that as we go through. OK, from our perspective at the moment, we can't grasp God's big picture. It's only after a period of time that we can look backwards and see. And for Joseph, it took twenty two years before he understood that all these bad things that had happened to him were actually God's hand leading him. Let me ask you a question. Twenty two years later. Do you think if he had the perspective before he was twenty two years as he was going through those processes, do you think his heart toward God would have been different? [00:27:53] Oh, gosh, yes. [00:27:55] Do you think he's one had it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:27:58] And so what can we pull out of this? What we can rattle out. Yeah, we got it. We got to we got to trust the Lord to be a faithful father. Quinn We know that we're truly seeking the Lord, honoring him, really following him, trying to do our best. Yeah, we stumble. But when bad things happen, things that we consider bad, we have to trust the heart of our father. Like I mentioned last time. When you can't see what the Lord's hand is doing, you have to trust his heart. Does that make sense? Yeah. So now I want to shift stories and talk about Esther, because here's what I would call the lord tells the same story with the same message over and over and over again all throughout scripture, because he's constantly revealing who he is. And it's our job to pull out of those scriptures, the understanding of who he is. And so I want to walk through another story that has really neat implications, very similar. So this is the story of Esther. Okay, trivia question, what is Esther's real name? [00:29:21] I probably can't pronounce it. [00:29:26] I right. Yes. Yes, I know that something like that. Yeah. Yeah. [00:29:33] I was just discussing the future of you. No, no, no. Big deal. Big deal on that. OK. So let me kind of give you the background and lay out the storyline of Esther. So Israel has been Jerusalem has been destroyed by neighbor Nasr. All of the people have been taken out in exile. This is the time of Daniel, okay. He was taken as captives. And Mordechai, a guy named Mordecai and Esther, are gone as well. Then never. Nasir's kingdom is overtaken by getting that guy name King a hazardous. Who's king of the purge, Persian in the Meade's or something like that. And and he's having a feast and throwing a great big party. He calls the queen in to show her off in front of all of his guests. She refuses. He gets upset. He banishes her. Then he's upset because now he doesn't have a queen. So they say, well, let's go throughout all your kingdom. Get the most beautiful virgins that are out there. And we'll bring him into your hair, him and you get to choose. OK. So that's kind of the storyline. So now we come to sue. So the capital where he is. This is where Esther is living with her uncle because Esther is an orphan. Chances are her mother and father were killed during the Beattylonian captivity. We don't know that for certain. But that would make sense. And then she's living there peacefully with Mordechai, her uncle, and now she's forcefully taken from him to be thrown into King's Haram. Is that good or bad? Bad? [00:31:18] Yeah. I would think so. Take away from our family. [00:31:23] Yeah, the only family she's got. So then she becomes king later. Mordechai gets a job working for the king. Says he sits at the Kings Gate. OK. And while he's a sharpie, overhears a plot from two people that are upset with the king and they want to kill the king. All right. Do you hear that noise in the background? Is that problematic? No, you don't. OK, perfect. Great. [00:31:55] So I'm out on my deck when I do this. And I just want to make sure you don't hear the background noise. So. So he reports. Mordechai reports this plot to the queen, who then takes it to the king. The king investigates, kills those two people. [00:32:11] The king is saved. OK. So then later, the king appoints a guy named haymon as prime minister, essentially to run the country. And Heyman is an evil man and everyone is supposed to bow down and basically worship him as he comes by. And so every time he comes by and comes by Mordechai, he goes to the King's Gate. What do you think Mordechai does as a Jew? He does not. He does. That's right. So you have an evil Preibus man, everyone's falling down except this one man who stays standing. What do you think? Who you think's going on in Heyman's heart at that point? [00:32:51] Why are you not backing down? That's right. [00:32:54] He gets real angry. Okay. And so he finds out that Mordecai doesn't bail because he's a Jew. So now Mordecai hates all the Jews. So he decides I'm going to get rid of all of them. So he goes the king and says, I'll pay you ten thousand talents. A silver. That's a huge amount for Mordechai. I mean, haymon is really rich. I'll pay you ten thousand talents a silver if you let me write a decree to kill all of the Jews because they're bad for your kingdom. King says, Hey, that's good. All right, I'll do that. So he he lets the king lets him do that. So then haymon writes a decree and sent it out through all of the province. This is basically all of the world at that time and says on this date, in about twelve months, every person can rise up against ologies, kill every Jew, every man, woman and child. [00:33:49] And whoever you kill, you can plunder everything they have. So now all the Jews are scared to death. Certain death is marked out and they're powerless to stop it. Does that make sense so far? Yeah. Yeah. Is is this bad? [00:34:05] Yeah. [00:34:07] If it's rooted in evil. Yeah. I think it might be even Satan trying to get rid of the Jewish race pressure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So then Mordechai comes to Esther. She goes the king and wants to plea for help. And so she's gonna do this through two life sessions. So she says, King, will you come to lunch with me today and will you bring Heyman's? Now, this is really, really interesting. The fact that she comes before the king, she puts her life on the line. So the king realizes something really important. She she has something really important to ask where she would not have risked her life. Okay. So he says, yes, I'll be there. He grabs haymon. They go have lunch. He says, what do you want? She says, I want you to come tomorrow to another banquet and then I'll make my request now. So then haymon goes home right after that. And he's all excited, he calls this France. He tells his wife and his friends how great he is, how powerful he is. And even the queen invited me to a private lunch with the king. And then he says, is this is hatred coming up? And yet none of this is worth anything as long as I see Mordechai alive. So now his wife says, well, look, you got the king's favor. You're powerful. Why don't you build a gallows tomorrow morning? Go ask the king if you can hang him. Mordechai on the gallows before lunch and then you can go to lunch with the king and the queen and just have a wonderful time. So can you imagine haymon all excited, giddy that night saying, oh, finally, I'm going to kill Mordecai tomorrow. You see this thing going on for now. What gods? Humor. Okay, so Mordecai is about to be killed. His runway of options is about out. He doesn't know it, but in probably 10 hours, he's gonna be dead on that gallows. [00:36:24] Okay. There's nothing he can do to escape. You get the picture of this? Yeah. Have you ever been in a position you felt like there's nothing you can do to fix the problem, you are doomed? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So but God has a sense of humor. God is in control. And what happens that night with the king? Do you remember? [00:36:53] I feel like somehow Esther says something that kind of like trapped. [00:37:01] Almost almost, yeah. So that happens in a moment. So that night, Paul Heyman is all giddy and probably can't sleep. The king can't sleep. [00:37:14] Do you think it might have been providentially God keeping the king away? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so the king says someone read me a book I know remade a book of all the good deeds in my kingdom. So these pull out this book and they start reading all night long and then they come to the story of Mordecai, how he reports this plot by these two employees to kill the king and two employees were killed and the king was saved. And the. And that's where we now pick up in an extra six. So I am now going to start reading from here. So that's the background. And let me start reading what the scripture says. So the king says, what reward did we ever give Mordechai for this? And his courtiers replied, nothing. Well, he's on duty in the outer court. The King inquired. OK, so this is early morning. He's still in bed. They're still reading. So you can get them. This is really early in the morning. And now that it happened, Hayman had just arrived in the outer court to ask the king to hang Mordechai. Okay. He's so excited. He gives up early and that's the first thing on his mind. So the courtiers replied, Hanemann is out there. The King said. Oh, great. Bring him in. So, hey, haymon comes in. [00:38:40] Now he's coming into the king's private chamber. Okay. And the king says him, What should I do to honor a man who truly pleases me? And what do you think a man is thinking to himself? [00:38:52] He's going to honor me. That's right. [00:38:55] That's right. The scripture says. Well, who would he want to honor more than me? Pride comes before the fall. Right. So he replied. He so haymon says, we'll bring out some of the royal robes that the king himself has worn, and the king's own horse, and a royal crown. And it struck one the king's most noble princes to robe the man and lead it through the streets on the king's own horse. Shouting This is the way the king honors those who truly please him. Hey, man, was grand jury. Can you say this? All the pride and praise from all the people out there? [00:39:32] Yeah. [00:39:36] God, wonderful. So the king said, excellent. Hurry and take these robes and my horse and do just as you said to Mordecai, the Jew who works at the chancellery, follow every detail you suggested. What do you think's going on, right, Ben? I'm haymon. [00:39:58] I can not. I mean, I was I could fly on the wall. I'm sure his face fell to the floor. And. Yeah. Can you can you imagine? Can you imagine the embarrassment even that he probably felt? [00:40:12] That's right. And here's something I want you to recognize. All of this is happening in Mordecai. Doesn't have a clue. So often God is doing all kinds of things behind the scene and we don't even have a clue yet. And yet. God is in control. So we pick back up. So haymon takes the robes and puts them on Mordecai. I can just imagine. [00:40:40] Mordechai, come here. I want to robe you. I want to set this crown. I am ready. And I can just imagine what more ecchi is doing. He's going, yeah. The Lord is about to save us. So he puts a rose on Mordechai Mount's him on the king's own state, and leads him through the streets of the city, shouting, This is the way the king honors those who delights in them. [00:41:04] And then afterwards, who? Mordechai goes back to his job, and haymon hurries home, utterly humiliated. [00:41:15] So now he's sulking. So keep in mind, this is the morning, the second feast with the queen. So later that day, just a couple hours later, as he's mourning and he's complaining and though his wife is saying, well, if Mordechai is a Jew, your plans are gone, completely fail. No, he still doesn't know. The queen is a Jew. So then the king's men come and get haymon to bring him to lunch. And in at Lighton. And I can just imagine that haymon is all sulking and morose during this banquet. And the king asks again to Esther, What can I do for you? We pick back up. This is Esther, seven. And at last, Queen Esther replied, If I've won your favor OKing, and if it please, Your Majesty, save my life and the lives of my people. For my people have been sold to those who will destroy us. We are doomed to destruction and slaughter. If we were only to be sold as slaves. Perhaps I could remain quiet, even though then there are being calculable damage to the king that no amount of money could begin to cover. So she hits right on. There is money that's been paid on this and don't matter how much has been paid. Even if we're disowning slavery, this is gonna destroy the king. Okay. And then the king replies. What are you talking about? And who would touch you? Assa replied. This wicked haymon is our enemy. Then haymon grew pale with fright before the king and queen. The King jumped to his feet, went out of the palace garden at Heyman's, stood up to plead for his life. The queen asked her, for he knew that he was doomed. [00:43:08] You know, this happens so frequently. All that loss and the enemy that's attacking us, we think they're about to win. And yet God has everything in his hands. And in just a moment, boom, it's all gone. So. In despair, haymon falls upon the couch where Queen Esther was reclining, just as the king returned for the palace garden. Will he even rape the queen right here in the palace before my eyes? The king roared and instantly the death fell. That hood was placed over Hanemann face. And then when the king's aide says Sir haymon is restored, order to 75 foot gallows constructed to hanging Mordecai. The man who saved the king from assassination. It stands in Heyman's courtyard. Heying haymon on it. The king ordered, so that's the end of haymon. Then the king is well, Mordecai Heyman's position gives Esther all of Heyman's possessions and in Mordechai writes, a decree that the Jews can not only defend themselves on that date. This is now about 10 months to go. But he can. They can also kill every one of their enemies who hate them. And and so on that day when it comes, the Israelites destroyed seventy five thousand of their staunchest enemies. So that's the story of Esther in that. Pretty cool. Am I wrong? All right. So now let's. I want to wrap this up and I want to give some really cool takeaways out of all this, because I think this is really kind of what's cool, cool with this. So the central thought on all of this that hit and hits me as I'm as I've gone through it. Is do you think the Lord could have prevented haymon from coming to power? [00:45:05] Could have. Yes. Yes. If he prevented haymon from coming to power without a protected his people and they would never have been in peril. [00:45:16] Yeah, unless someone else came and did that. But yes. OK. [00:45:21] But God chose not to do that. Yeah. Think about it. God allowed his people. To go through tough times. So he can deliver them and not only deliver them. But give them greater blessings, I think someone said that the darker the times you go through, the greater the blessings on the other end. OK. [00:45:51] So what we have to realize is because the Lord directs those events that have a major impact on our lives and accomplishing his will then as we go through these events, even though it's scary. Are are honest response should be to be at peace knowing that the Lord is in control and that all of these things, if we're in God's will. Okay, if we're doing our best to follow his guidance. OK. As we talked about last time. Then whatever happens, we should be at peace. And content knowing that God is guiding everything that's going on for some reason, for his glory and for our destiny of where we're to be used to that make sense. [00:46:39] Yeah. [00:46:41] And how often do we get our eyes off the law and back on ourselves and we start to get afraid and question the Lord. So if Heyman comes to powers, Prime Minister, the Lord allows him to do, he's choosing to destroy all of the Jews. But watch this long before he ever came to power. God put Queen Esther in position to deliver his people. God is playing this big game of chess and he knows exactly what's going on and he's positioning the pieces. Already. But watch this, see? God could have prevented haymon from coming to power in check. Instead. He chose to show his own power and sovereignty by delivering their people once they were in peril. And. And not only that, though, here's the kind of the other key is because haymon came to power, because all these events came through, because all the Jews were terrified and scared to death for their life. Then through that problem, through that process, God deliver the Jews even more. He didn't just deliver the Jews from haymon and the threat of being killed. He delivered the Jews from all of their enemies at that time because they killed all 75000 of them. So it was a greater blessing for them to have come through that process because they ended up in a stronger, safer, more secure position. Does that make sense? Yeah. So it seems that God allows us to go through tough times, not only so he can get the glory delivering us. But that he can bless us more through that. And I think there are five takeaways is that I get from this. First, the Lord is in control of all things. In the big scheme of things, okay. He doesn't control haymon. He doesn't control the evil, but he is in control. He has his overriding control of everything that goes on. That's the first thing we can get from this. The second thing we can get is that he's coordinating the activities long before their purpose is known. [00:49:05] Think about this. So. First. [00:49:09] He coordinates the activity to get rid of Queen Baster. I think that's her name. And then that forces King hazardous to say I need another queen. Who do I get? [00:49:22] They rip ask her out of her home. They thought that was bad and God is doing all that to position her. [00:49:30] In a position of power, but not only that, Mordecai then gets a job with a king. And he overhears his plot and he reports it. That plot and Mordecai overhearing it has a key role to play in this. By the way, do you know how long it was from the time of that plot to the time that the King read back through the Chronicles and said, we honored this person for saving? [00:50:02] I felt like it was. I felt like it was over a year, but I don't know exactly. [00:50:07] Yeah, yeah, it was. It was about five years to watch that one seemingly insignificant thing. He just happens over here, this plot and reports it five years later. Is the key to saving the entire nation of the Jewish people. Then so God is causing a lot of things that we don't even see long before they ever come to fruition. The third thing we can take out of this. If the Lord allows us to face complete loss, complete destruction, or, as I call it, running off the cliff, it seems like we're just about to run off that cliff and there's nothing we can do to prevent it. He allows us to get into that position. For us to be scared to death but rely and trust on him, in fact, one of the things Mordecai said to Esther. She said, I can't go before the king because. I could be killed. And watch Mordecai Faith in the Lord. He said, we'll ask her. Who knows if maybe you haven't been put in as queen for a time such as this to save our people. But if you don't do it, be assured that the Lord will save us. But it'll be through some other means. [00:51:31] So more ecchi has this great faith in the Lord. Great worry of what's going on, but great faith as well that the Lord can take care of it. And that's what happens. The Lord allows us to go to the edge, to go right to the edge of that cliff, then force. He always intervenes. He always protects his loved ones from destruction. He allows him to get to the edge, but he won't allow them to go over the edge. And fifth, which I think is pretty cool, is during that process. And because of that process, he also as a bonus, he blesses us even more, you know, with not only with the Jews and destroying all their enemies, but Mordechai is taken from just a lowly employ to prime minister of the entire country. So it you just see God's hand in all of this. And as I go through this, I am encouraged that he's always in control. He's coordinating all these events in my life and in your life that we don't understand, that we get concerned about, that we're afraid of. Sometimes he allows us to head straight for the cliff and we feel that we have no control in the matter because ultimately we really don't. [00:52:54] We are moving down. If you recall, one of the sessions we did early about God's timing versus Manson. I mean, we're in that little pipe. You're right. Going down that raging river and you can't stop it. You know, it is moving and you're just going along with it. So there are things that we can't stop. We see this cliff we're about to go over and we seem to be powerless. And then the lord comes in. And here's how he saves us. He saves us through a miraculous set of events. We may see them as circumstantial. When we see God's hand moving miraculously in a natural, we call it providential, providential circumstances. But make no false assumption. It is the Lord's hand guiding and directing all of it directly for our care, directly for his will, directly for where he wants to lead us, and this is time back into the last one. This is where it says the Lord will get us to his destiny for us. And he says, even if I had to put a bit in your mouth and force you that direction, you will go where I am sending you then. In that call. [00:54:16] Yes. Great. And even though I was just thing about, you know, what does this guy with all those all that does does that. I mean, he was before he was just a CEPR boy, basically just a son that helped on the farm and then look at where he ended up. Yeah. Only in command under the pharaoh. [00:54:38] Well, you know, even in my own life, I'll tell you a story. I don't tell this much, but I got involved with Amway as a freshman in college. You know what Amway is? [00:54:49] Yes. Yes, I do. [00:54:51] Yeah, it's a network marketing company, pyramid company, as people call it. And I come from a well-to-do medical family. And we had a great lifestyle growing up. My dad did very well financially and faithful before the Lord. But in freshman year college, I get hooked in Amway. I get hooked into the approach of, oh, my gosh, you're going to be rich. I thought literally that I was going to graduate college as a millionaire. [00:55:25] So I was. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Well, that's kind of what they told. I apologize. One moment. You can probably hear that helicopter back there. Good. Is kind of loud. Can you still hear me over the helicopter? [00:55:38] I can. Yeah. OK, great. OK, great. So. So I was about to quit college because I knew I didn't need it. My parents wisely tell me, just finish it. So I did. But I changed my degree and just had a great time in college and in studying. So I get out of college and then I find out I'm not making a bunch of money. In fact, I have to go home and live with my parents and all my friends who got a regular degree. They're getting all these nice cushiony jobs and they're buying homes. And woe is me, every time I see a friend drive by in a Mercedes or BMW or, you know, I was driving old jalopy. [00:56:17] My comment was there. But for me, go I. And after a number of years of that, I really thought I'd screwed up my life. You know, that pivotal point of my life and everything was screwed up. I went from job to job trying to earn money here and there. Nothing was happening. By 10 years, 12, 13 years later, I was still broke. Okay. I found myself unemployed. We had a small house and we've been faithful to the Lord all the time. But nothing was going on. And then the Lord bless us with this business that I started. And do you know what that business was? Adele, tell me it was selling, so during this time I started to really learn about marketing, started to really consume it. I tried a couple of businesses with a friend of mine. They never really amounted to much, but we honed a lot of marketing talent and we developed a product that really was great in generating leads. And so the Lord blessed me with just a little inkling of a business. And my first customer base. Was network marketers. [00:57:39] And then we started to take all this stuff that I learned in Amway, the attitude, the go get it, all this stuff, and we applied it in business and two and a half years later. [00:57:52] We were making a hundred thousand dollars a month in profits. Wow. Can you imagine that? And I look back and I think if it hadn't been for the Lord directed me into Amway, I would never be in business today. But during the time, I really thought I made a bad mistake. And I think all of us can probably look backwards and say the Lord's hand guiding them and kind of on that same topic. [00:58:21] I want to share one other thing. I was at church one day and man was asking me how how is my how my business was. And I told him, You mean in the natural or in the spiritual? Right. I shared that, you know, in the natural. It's like running full speed. The engine is running. The drive shaft is running. The wheels are spinning. But we're going nowhere because we're stuck in the mud, because at that time it felt like we have this big elephant standing in front of us keeping from moving. But I told him in the spiritual God has told me that we're going through wilderness time. Once I get to the wilderness, he's going to move that elephant out of the way. And we're gonna then just take off. And the man said, well, you know, he has a brother and or friend or someone like that who'd gone through some dark times in his business as well. I tell him, no, we're not in dark times. I've been in dark times. My business, but now is not one of them. I said you're only in dark times when you get your eyes off the Lord and put them on the natural. When you become afraid, that's when it's dark. But when you keep your eyes on the Lord, it's always bright. And and I was sharing the example of Peter walking on the water. So when we go through these times in our lives, it's important that we don't keep our eyes on the natural because we get become afraid. We start to question God. We put our eyes on the Lord. And that's where we have our trust. That's where we have our confidence. For sure. Yes. So any any other comments? We got to wrap up. But any thoughts, your comments? [01:00:02] Yeah, just for me. Trying to turn to keep my focus on knowing that all the little things like he just said, all those little things that I think might be ruining me or a bad decision or gas, ash, gas, I should have gone that way or whatever. The Lord still uses it all in his promises to take care of us as his children. Yes. [01:00:27] And I would go one step further if we're faithful before him. And we can honestly look at our life and say there is no sin in my life. I mean, no, no focus have seen in my life. Obviously, we all sin, but there's no sin in our life. Then we can know that we're in the center of wherever he has us. And therefore, not only know that those bad things, Glaude can bring something good out of it, but he's using those bad things to bounce us like that pinball machine. The next step down the path of where he's leading us, it's all part of his plan. [01:01:05] Yeah, to become fully mature. Yes, okay. [01:01:12] He matures us and he puts us where he wants us to be. To be used in his kingdom, to build his temple. And yeah, it's really cool. Really cool. All right. Awesome. [01:01:26] Oh, Beatty. I think we're about out of time. We probably need to wrap it up. But thank you so much for your time today. Thank you for your expertise. And just that, the diligence that you put into studying the word and and teaching it to our listeners and myself as well. This was a great call and I'm excited about our next one. [01:01:45] I am, too. We'll be talking on part three. [01:01:48] Sounds good. I guess we'll see everybody then. [01:01:52] Be blessed. All righty. Bye bye.   p018

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Please ignore any speech-to-text errors) [00:00:06] I'm so glad you joined us. For those of you who don't remember me, my name is Penny. And welcome. Welcome to this next session of get sellers calling you Beatty Carmichael. Beatty is the CEO of Master Grabber, the creator of Agent Dominator and one of the top marketing expert in the real estate field. Beatty, I'm super excited. I know you always have something great for us today. What are we going to be discussing today? [00:00:31] Well, today we're back on another radical safe's topic, which means that this has nothing to do with real estate marketing and everything to do with living boldly as a Christian. So if you're not interested in that topic, feel free to turn this episode off and wait for the next one. But that's what we're going to be talking about today. [00:00:52] Great. Super excited. [00:00:55] Yes. And so in continuation from the last radical faith call, we're on a short series. When bad things happen, is it God's will? And today, we're gonna be talking part to kind of this sub topic on this is going through dark times. Have you ever gone through dark times in your Christian life? [00:01:16] Yes. OK. I want to remember, actually. Yeah, I think. [00:01:22] I think it's part of the process that God that the Lord uses both for us and for accomplishing his will. And a lot of times it's hard to really discern what's going on. So I want to go back to kind of the core question that I asked you last time. You said that God is sovereign and that he is in control. So the question is, if God is sovereign in control and does that mean that everything that happens is his will? [00:01:54] And do we blame him for it? Right. So that's one of those questions that we all wrestle with and we talk about. There are basically four things that could be going on. Number one, when bad things happen, we really have to understand first what is bad. Okay. Bad is bad if its source is evil and the outcome is evil. Right. [00:02:17] And that can happen. And I think a lot of the real heartaches that we go through in life may actually have its roots there. We're going to talk about that on the next session. Then last session, we talked about how God directs our steps and we have the freedom to freewill, to use your terminology, to disregard his direction and place our foot down where we want to is or where he wants to. And when that happens, it says that we stumble. And so sometimes when bad things happen, it could simply be a consequence of us simply not following the Lord's direction. Okay. [00:03:04] And so I would call that not bad, but just consequence and probably inconvenient more than anything else. Another thing that happens when things are bad is they're actually directed by God because we have sinned and he's bringing discipline into our life. So it feels bad, but the outcome is good. And then the last thing that happens when things feel bad is when the source is a lord and it's all for our good and even discipline is for our good. But it but in this case, it's all for our destiny or for the Lord is leading us. So it feels bad. It seems dark. But if we could see from God's perspective, it's really an amazing journey. And that's what I want to talk about today. So we ready? [00:03:58] Was great. [00:04:00] Ok. So we're going to if we can wrap it all in quickly, we're going to talk about two stories. Two people, actually, more than two people. But their stories are known by the people are the story of Joseph. And the story of Esther. And I'm assuming you know both of those stories, right? [00:04:17] Yes. Great story. [00:04:20] All right. So let's see how well you know it. Now he's now is gone by. Alicia, details. How old was Joseph when he went out to find his brothers in the field? [00:04:36] Later, I want to say sixteen or seven. Yeah. [00:04:40] Good. Seventeen. So that's going to tie into this. So let me give you just a little background. And I'm going to just kind of read from the Bible and skip around a lot. Normally, I'd like to read, but this this kind of story forms. I want to tie it together. [00:04:59] So this starts in Genesis, Genesis 37. And for the most part, if you don't recognize some of this verbiage is coming from the living Bible, which makes things sometimes a little bit easier. And it starts like this. Joseph's brothers, of course, noticed their father's partiality and consequently hated Joseph, okay. [00:05:22] They couldn't say a kind word to him one night. Joseph had a dream and promptly reported the details. His brother's causing even deeper hatred. Listen to this. He announced we were out in the field binding cheese, and my chief stood up and you're she's all gather round me and bowed low before it. So the brother said, So you want to be our king, do you? And they hated him, both for the dream and his cocky attitude. So here's a question for you. [00:05:49] Did Joseph, do you think, grow up in a loving family? Yeah. With his brothers hating him the whole time. [00:05:59] Now that a loving family. No, no. Okay. [00:06:06] So his father loved him. Yes. But his brothers hated him. It says three times that they hated him, they hated him. They hated him. [00:06:14] So can you imagine living in an environment where your closest relatives are all hating you? [00:06:21] I cannot. Would you call that good or bad? [00:06:26] Bad? Yeah, I would think so, too. So then we read a little bit long further. So now Joseph is 17 years old, his father, Israel. Okay. So just give you the genealogy. Have Abraham Isaac Jacob Jacob's name was changed to Israel and Israel had 12 signs. Those are the 12 tribes of Israel. And son number eleven, if I'm correct, is Joseph. Okay. And so he sends Joseph out into the fields to find all of his other sons. The other ten brothers at that time to his 10 older brothers. And and just check on what's going on. So this is where we pick up. And he says, but when they saw him coming, recognizing him in the distance, they decided to kill him. Okay. Here we have that loving family again. Let's kill our brother. Here comes that master dreamer, they exclaim. Come on, let's kill him and toss him into a wall and tell father that a wild animal has eaten him. [00:07:28] Then we'll save what will become of all of his dreams. So they're still jealous of what God has given him as a dream. [00:07:37] So says when Joseph got there, they pulled off his brightly colored robe. Okay, so his father given him a robe of righteousness, robes or status symbol in this one was greater status symbol because it had lots of bright colors. And so it says that they threw off his robe and threw him into an empty well. And then they see a bunch of traders come by. And so when the traders came by, his brothers pulled Joseph out of the well and sold him into the traders for 20 pieces of silver. [00:08:17] And they took compete. Now, can you imagine at this moment, Joseph being thrown into the well by his brothers, being rough handle and then being yanked up and sold into slavery for only 20 pieces of silver. What do you think's going on in Joseph's mind at that point? [00:08:34] He's got to feel completely rejected and was scared. [00:08:39] Yeah. So many things. Did he feel like he deserved any of this? No. Do you think he was questioning God? [00:08:50] Yes, absolutely. We always question God because we don't trust him, do you think if he trusted God as Moses, trusted God as he was as there going through the wilderness? Do you think if he trusted God at that level that he would be questioning God quite so much? Probably not. No. So what I find is we question God the most when we don't really trust him. In other words, when we keep our eyes on ourselves and not on the Lord in his word, that's usually when we question what's going on. Does that make sense? [00:09:28] Yeah. Yeah. Oh, okay. [00:09:30] So then we pick up. This is now in Genesis thirty nine. So Joseph arrives in Egypt, his soul to part offer a member of Pharaoh's staff. Okay. Part 4 later puts him in charge of all of his affairs. And then one day part of first wife begins making eyes at Joseph and suggests that he come and sleep with her. And what is Joseph to you, remember? [00:09:54] He says no. That's right. He says no. He says, my master, trust me, with everything in the entire household. He he's held nothing back from me except you because you are his wife. How could you do such a wicked thing? Is this. It would be a great sin against God? No. Do you think Joseph loves the Lord? Yes. Do you think he's following the law the best he can? I do. Yeah. Okay. And now this woman's coming after him, is Josef's acting properly and faithfully? [00:10:31] He is. Yeah. And what happened to you, remember? [00:10:37] I think she keeps pushing like she keeps trying to seduce them and really try to get him to go along with what she wants. And he keeps saying no. And she gets upset. [00:10:50] That's right. You don't want to give way too much. Yeah, that's right. Okay. [00:10:54] Well, hopefully most of folks are listening to this. Probably have some some recollection of Joseph, but let's read into it. Then one day as he was in the house and no one else was around at the time, she came and grabbed him by the sleeve demanding sleep with me. He tore himself away, but as he did, his jacket was robe slipped off and he was left holding. She was holding it as he fled from the house. When she saw that he she had it and he had fled, she began screaming. And when the other men around the place came running and she was crying hysterically, my husband had to bring in this Hebrew slave to insult us. She saw. He tried to rape me, but when I screamed, he ran and forgot to take his jacket. So do you think Joseph has been wrongly accused? [00:11:44] Yes. If this is this good or bad? [00:11:48] Bad? Yeah. So what's happening? Is this one bad even after another, isn't it? His brothers hate him. They try to kill them. They throw mental until well, then they sell sell them into slavery. And then he's doing well. He's acting righteously before God. His master puts him in control of everything. Now he gets slammed again and it gets even worse. So says that when her husband came home that night, she told him her story. That Hebrew slay that you've had around here. Try to rape me. And when he heard it, he was furious and he threw Joseph into prison down into the dungeon. [00:12:29] How do you think Joseph is feeling right now? [00:12:33] Or cannot be. Yeah. [00:12:36] Do you think he's going, oh, lord. Thank you. I'm so excited. I'm right in the center of your will. [00:12:43] No, I haven't. I think he probably had a few choice words. [00:12:47] Probably so. Let me ask you. Was he right in the center of God's will? [00:12:54] Well, that's a trick question. Yes, he was. I think I know, yeah. Come on the story. [00:13:01] That's right. That's right. So this is a key. When we know the outcome, we can now piece it all together going through it. [00:13:09] We have to trust the father's heart. [00:13:14] Yeah, and not worry. [00:13:18] Okay. As we always worry, but the more we trust the father's heart, the more we can handle any of these quote unquote, dark times that come our way because we know who's in control. So now this is now we're in Genesis 40 sometime later. It happened that the king of Egypt, pharaoh, became angry with his chief baker and his chief butler. So he's thrown throws him into the prison where Joseph is. And then one night, each of them have a dream. And Joseph interprets both of those dreams and the dreams that his interpretation actually comes comes true. Jon Favreau decides to hold the party. He pulls both the baker and the butler out. He puts a butler back in a position and he kills the baker. Justice Joseph said, What's going to happen? So does and Joseph said, hey, Butler, when you get out. Remember me, tell Pharaoh about me. I've done nothing to be here. I've. You know, I've done nothing against my own people who have been sold into slavery. I've done nothing wrong. Please tell him. And what did the butler do? [00:14:32] He remembered. [00:14:34] I think he if I remember right again, I want to give why he lied. But I think he tells Pharaoh, I know somebody that can interpret dreams. [00:14:44] Yeah. Okay. So so watch this. This is cool. So now we're in Genesis 41. One night, two years later. Okay. It was two years later. Joseph still is in dark times in the dungeon. No freedom, no light, no, no nothing but grunge. Okay. [00:15:09] Two years later, Pharaoh dream. Two dreams. No one could interpret them. Then the butler remembers Joseph at that point, is that are you know, I totally forgot some time ago when you you're angry with a couple of us and put me in there, Chief Baker in jail. Baker and I each had a dream. One night we told the dreams to a young Hebrew who was a slave of the captain there, and he told us what our dreams meant. And everything happened. Just as he said, I was restored to my position and the baker was executed. So Pharaoh sent for Joseph at once. Okay, now, is this good or bad? [00:15:50] This is good if he's getting called out of prison. [00:15:53] Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it sure looks good, right? Yes. OK. Can you see the Lord's hand starting to move right now in this pressure? [00:16:04] Yeah. Okay. Now to put this in perspective, this is eleven years after. Joseph has been sold into slavery. [00:16:12] He's now 28 years old from 17 to 28. He's been a slave. So then Joseph interpretted dreams tells Pharaoh that both dreams are saying the same thing, that there's gonna be seven years of great abundance. And then seven years of the most severe famine that's gonna be so severe, you won't even remember how abundant it is. And and then pharaoh says talks. His advisers said, well, we need to put someone in charge to manage all this. Who do we do? And so now I want to pick up and I'm one. Reed, this is Genesis 41, starting in thirty nine. [00:16:55] And then it says then Pharaoh said to Joseph, Since God has shown you all this, there is none so discerning and wise as you are, you shall be over my house and all my people shall order themselves as you command only as regards the throne will I be greater than you. In other words, Pharaoh now puts him in second in control of all of Egypt. [00:17:19] Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his hand and and put on Joseph's hand. Here's the significance. The signet ring means that Joseph can do anything in the king's name. [00:17:30] By the way, as Christians, we've been given the Lord's signet ring. Okay. [00:17:39] So now there's some deep implications on how effectively we end up using that. But that's another story. So he takes a signet ring, puts it in Joseph's hand. And then during the seven plentiful years, the earth produced abundantly and in the seven years of plenty came to an end and a seven years of famine began to come, as Joseph had said. [00:18:05] So here's kind of the summary I want to go through with all this. The Lord is directing all of these events in Joseph's lives. Would you agree? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:18:17] So Joseph was a man at God's own heart. [00:18:19] And even in his flavouring, in imprisonment, we know that he sought the Lord because he always tried to do what was honorable and. [00:18:28] The Lord always put him in charge of bless everything that was going on. So we see the Lord's hand upon Joseph. Even in the dark times. Did you in your dark times, have you ever seen the Lord's hand kind of still working with you and through you during those tough times? [00:18:44] Yes. Yes. It's hard to say. You know, you're natural. I tend to focus on the dark. But for sure. For sure. God was there. [00:18:53] That's right. And I've seen the same thing over and over again. And. And so back Joseph, because he was faithful in the small things as he was coming through. We'll call this his wilderness experience. As he was coming through this wilderness, then the lord put him in charge of much, just as what Jesus says, because you had been faithful in a little. Now be in charge of tent cities as he's the parable with the miners. And then. But here's the key. From Joseph's perspective, as he's going through it, each event merely seemed to have a natural cause and effect. His brothers hated him. He has a dream. They hated him more. He goes and they decide to kill him. They throw him in a well. Then they say, lis-, thelen, every single thing. There is a cause and effect that Joseph is putting together. Does that make sense? Oh, yeah. Okay. So from his perspective, it was just one bad even after another. I'm sure he felt bitter. Bitter. I'm sure he questioned God on what was happening. And yet here's the thing. The Lord is directing every step of his, so if you remember last session, passage after passage after passage. Lord Lord is telling us he guides our step. He directs our step. He's cha-cha-cha path even tells us where to stop and rest. And what we find here is every step is guided and directed by the Lord. And finally, Joseph comes to that same realization once his brothers come and provides food. Okay. Because Joseph set for God sent me before you to preserve life. Joseph finally figured out what was going on. Later. He figured out it was his destiny that the Lord was working on. And until we see the Lord guiding all of this, let's see. Let me think a couple other thoughts on this before we shift some topics. So. So here's a question. When bad things happen. Does guide calls it? We can obviously look at this life of Joseph. All these things that were seemingly bad. Here's the question. Did God cause all those events to happen? [00:21:23] No. No. Then what happened? [00:21:29] He used them. Yeah, he did them for yeah. Did he know they were going to happen? All right. Who knows all things? [00:21:41] He knows all things. And he used them. [00:21:45] So sometimes we find a guy who uses the bad debts in the world to propel us. To the good destiny that he has for us. Does that make sense? Yeah, I think think about Jesus. Satan was gonna try everything he could to stop Jesus. Do you think I knew that? [00:22:11] Oh, for sure. [00:22:13] And do you think everything that Satan did to stop Jesus actually playing God's hand to fulfill Jesus's destiny? [00:22:22] Yeah, they're. [00:22:25] Do you think God is a respecter of persons? [00:22:32] I think he treats us all the same. I think he loves us all the same. [00:22:36] Yeah. Paul says God is no respecter of persons, right? Yeah. [00:22:41] So he thinks of his favorite neighbor. We're all here, too. That's right. [00:22:47] We're all his favorite. So here's the thing. God is the same yesterday, today and forever. What he does, for one, he does for all because he respects no one greater than someone else. This is why when and this is what it says. You know, because faith was reckoned righteousness was reckoned to Abraham because of his faith. So is righteousness reck into us because of our faith? In other words, God sets a precedent what he does for what he does for all. And what we find here with Joseph, the Lord is leveraging all of these evil things that are going on. [00:23:28] That guy knows ahead of time. But he uses those almost like the picture I'm getting is saw like that. Have you ever played a pinball machine? Yes. What? The ball. It hits a thing. It goes somewhere else. It bounces around. Okay. It's almost like God knows every little post out there and swiped the ball in just the right direction to hit one post and another post in the next post pushes the ball a little bit further and it guides all the way to homerun. [00:23:57] Okay. Enter into the goalpost. And that's kind of what's going off and going here. So. There is a possibility that God caused some of this to happen. These think God caused a Israel to love Joseph more than the other brothers. [00:24:17] Oh, that's a tough question. No. The only reason I say no, God doesn't cause bad is because God is good. [00:24:27] Right. No, I don't. I don't. I don't. Okay. [00:24:31] Is Israel loving Joseph more than the other brothers? Good or bad? [00:24:38] Then God says, Jacob, I loved you, so I hate it. Is that good or bad? [00:24:46] Which is bad for itself, but is God good? Yes. [00:24:52] Ok, so what is good for God? [00:24:55] Can it also be good for man? [00:24:58] Yes. So if if God cause Israel to love Joseph more than the other brothers, is that good or bad? [00:25:11] Aschen, I think. [00:25:14] Yes, he says he's not causing Israel to hate the other brothers, but just to love Joseph Moore. Do you think God caused Joseph caused Israel to make Joseph a bright, multicolored jacket? Yeah. Do you think God knew that that would create jealousy and hatred among the brothers? Yes. Do you think God caused Joseph to have those dreams? I do. Do you think he knew that those trains would cause jealousy and hatred among the brothers? [00:25:50] Yes. OK. So here's what we have. We see God causing a lot of events that had the repercussions of evil responding that God uses to push Joseph toward his destiny. Do you think that's possible that he's doing the same thing in our lives at times as well? [00:26:14] Yeah. Okay. Is kind of cool. [00:26:18] Yes. Very cool. All right. [00:26:21] So. So we pick up a lot of things and just some really interesting things. Let's say this to try and catch up on where I am on my notes. When bad things happen to us. We must first try to decide, are they truly bad or are they simply not what we desire? Is it truly bad that the brothers hated Joseph? Is it truly bad that they wanted to kill him? Is it truly bad that they sold him into slavery? Are all these things truly bad? Or ultimately, are they just simply not what we desire? But they happen to be the best thing for us because they push us where the Lord is directing us and we don't. We can't tell that as we go through. OK, from our perspective at the moment, we can't grasp God's big picture. It's only after a period of time that we can look backwards and see. And for Joseph, it took twenty two years before he understood that all these bad things that had happened to him were actually God's hand leading him. Let me ask you a question. Twenty two years later. Do you think if he had the perspective before he was twenty two years as he was going through those processes, do you think his heart toward God would have been different? [00:27:53] Oh, gosh, yes. [00:27:55] Do you think he's one had it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:27:58] And so what can we pull out of this? What we can rattle out. Yeah, we got it. We got to we got to trust the Lord to be a faithful father. Quinn We know that we're truly seeking the Lord, honoring him, really following him, trying to do our best. Yeah, we stumble. But when bad things happen, things that we consider bad, we have to trust the heart of our father. Like I mentioned last time. When you can't see what the Lord's hand is doing, you have to trust his heart. Does that make sense? Yeah. So now I want to shift stories and talk about Esther, because here's what I would call the lord tells the same story with the same message over and over and over again all throughout scripture, because he's constantly revealing who he is. And it's our job to pull out of those scriptures, the understanding of who he is. And so I want to walk through another story that has really neat implications, very similar. So this is the story of Esther. Okay, trivia question, what is Esther's real name? [00:29:21] I probably can't pronounce it. [00:29:26] I right. Yes. Yes, I know that something like that. Yeah. Yeah. [00:29:33] I was just discussing the future of you. No, no, no. Big deal. Big deal on that. OK. So let me kind of give you the background and lay out the storyline of Esther. So Israel has been Jerusalem has been destroyed by neighbor Nasr. All of the people have been taken out in exile. This is the time of Daniel, okay. He was taken as captives. And Mordechai, a guy named Mordecai and Esther, are gone as well. Then never. Nasir's kingdom is overtaken by getting that guy name King a hazardous. Who's king of the purge, Persian in the Meade's or something like that. And and he's having a feast and throwing a great big party. He calls the queen in to show her off in front of all of his guests. She refuses. He gets upset. He banishes her. Then he's upset because now he doesn't have a queen. So they say, well, let's go throughout all your kingdom. Get the most beautiful virgins that are out there. And we'll bring him into your hair, him and you get to choose. OK. So that's kind of the storyline. So now we come to sue. So the capital where he is. This is where Esther is living with her uncle because Esther is an orphan. Chances are her mother and father were killed during the Beattylonian captivity. We don't know that for certain. But that would make sense. And then she's living there peacefully with Mordechai, her uncle, and now she's forcefully taken from him to be thrown into King's Haram. Is that good or bad? Bad? [00:31:18] Yeah. I would think so. Take away from our family. [00:31:23] Yeah, the only family she's got. So then she becomes king later. Mordechai gets a job working for the king. Says he sits at the Kings Gate. OK. And while he's a sharpie, overhears a plot from two people that are upset with the king and they want to kill the king. All right. Do you hear that noise in the background? Is that problematic? No, you don't. OK, perfect. Great. [00:31:55] So I'm out on my deck when I do this. And I just want to make sure you don't hear the background noise. So. So he reports. Mordechai reports this plot to the queen, who then takes it to the king. The king investigates, kills those two people. [00:32:11] The king is saved. OK. So then later, the king appoints a guy named haymon as prime minister, essentially to run the country. And Heyman is an evil man and everyone is supposed to bow down and basically worship him as he comes by. And so every time he comes by and comes by Mordechai, he goes to the King's Gate. What do you think Mordechai does as a Jew? He does not. He does. That's right. So you have an evil Preibus man, everyone's falling down except this one man who stays standing. What do you think? Who you think's going on in Heyman's heart at that point? [00:32:51] Why are you not backing down? That's right. [00:32:54] He gets real angry. Okay. And so he finds out that Mordecai doesn't bail because he's a Jew. So now Mordecai hates all the Jews. So he decides I'm going to get rid of all of them. So he goes the king and says, I'll pay you ten thousand talents. A silver. That's a huge amount for Mordechai. I mean, haymon is really rich. I'll pay you ten thousand talents a silver if you let me write a decree to kill all of the Jews because they're bad for your kingdom. King says, Hey, that's good. All right, I'll do that. So he he lets the king lets him do that. So then haymon writes a decree and sent it out through all of the province. This is basically all of the world at that time and says on this date, in about twelve months, every person can rise up against ologies, kill every Jew, every man, woman and child. [00:33:49] And whoever you kill, you can plunder everything they have. So now all the Jews are scared to death. Certain death is marked out and they're powerless to stop it. Does that make sense so far? Yeah. Yeah. Is is this bad? [00:34:05] Yeah. [00:34:07] If it's rooted in evil. Yeah. I think it might be even Satan trying to get rid of the Jewish race pressure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So then Mordechai comes to Esther. She goes the king and wants to plea for help. And so she's gonna do this through two life sessions. So she says, King, will you come to lunch with me today and will you bring Heyman's? Now, this is really, really interesting. The fact that she comes before the king, she puts her life on the line. So the king realizes something really important. She she has something really important to ask where she would not have risked her life. Okay. So he says, yes, I'll be there. He grabs haymon. They go have lunch. He says, what do you want? She says, I want you to come tomorrow to another banquet and then I'll make my request now. So then haymon goes home right after that. And he's all excited, he calls this France. He tells his wife and his friends how great he is, how powerful he is. And even the queen invited me to a private lunch with the king. And then he says, is this is hatred coming up? And yet none of this is worth anything as long as I see Mordechai alive. So now his wife says, well, look, you got the king's favor. You're powerful. Why don't you build a gallows tomorrow morning? Go ask the king if you can hang him. Mordechai on the gallows before lunch and then you can go to lunch with the king and the queen and just have a wonderful time. So can you imagine haymon all excited, giddy that night saying, oh, finally, I'm going to kill Mordecai tomorrow. You see this thing going on for now. What gods? Humor. Okay, so Mordecai is about to be killed. His runway of options is about out. He doesn't know it, but in probably 10 hours, he's gonna be dead on that gallows. [00:36:24] Okay. There's nothing he can do to escape. You get the picture of this? Yeah. Have you ever been in a position you felt like there's nothing you can do to fix the problem, you are doomed? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So but God has a sense of humor. God is in control. And what happens that night with the king? Do you remember? [00:36:53] I feel like somehow Esther says something that kind of like trapped. [00:37:01] Almost almost, yeah. So that happens in a moment. So that night, Paul Heyman is all giddy and probably can't sleep. The king can't sleep. [00:37:14] Do you think it might have been providentially God keeping the king away? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so the king says someone read me a book I know remade a book of all the good deeds in my kingdom. So these pull out this book and they start reading all night long and then they come to the story of Mordecai, how he reports this plot by these two employees to kill the king and two employees were killed and the king was saved. And the. And that's where we now pick up in an extra six. So I am now going to start reading from here. So that's the background. And let me start reading what the scripture says. So the king says, what reward did we ever give Mordechai for this? And his courtiers replied, nothing. Well, he's on duty in the outer court. The King inquired. OK, so this is early morning. He's still in bed. They're still reading. So you can get them. This is really early in the morning. And now that it happened, Hayman had just arrived in the outer court to ask the king to hang Mordechai. Okay. He's so excited. He gives up early and that's the first thing on his mind. So the courtiers replied, Hanemann is out there. The King said. Oh, great. Bring him in. So, hey, haymon comes in. [00:38:40] Now he's coming into the king's private chamber. Okay. And the king says him, What should I do to honor a man who truly pleases me? And what do you think a man is thinking to himself? [00:38:52] He's going to honor me. That's right. [00:38:55] That's right. The scripture says. Well, who would he want to honor more than me? Pride comes before the fall. Right. So he replied. He so haymon says, we'll bring out some of the royal robes that the king himself has worn, and the king's own horse, and a royal crown. And it struck one the king's most noble princes to robe the man and lead it through the streets on the king's own horse. Shouting This is the way the king honors those who truly please him. Hey, man, was grand jury. Can you say this? All the pride and praise from all the people out there? [00:39:32] Yeah. [00:39:36] God, wonderful. So the king said, excellent. Hurry and take these robes and my horse and do just as you said to Mordecai, the Jew who works at the chancellery, follow every detail you suggested. What do you think's going on, right, Ben? I'm haymon. [00:39:58] I can not. I mean, I was I could fly on the wall. I'm sure his face fell to the floor. And. Yeah. Can you can you imagine? Can you imagine the embarrassment even that he probably felt? [00:40:12] That's right. And here's something I want you to recognize. All of this is happening in Mordecai. Doesn't have a clue. So often God is doing all kinds of things behind the scene and we don't even have a clue yet. And yet. God is in control. So we pick back up. So haymon takes the robes and puts them on Mordecai. I can just imagine. [00:40:40] Mordechai, come here. I want to robe you. I want to set this crown. I am ready. And I can just imagine what more ecchi is doing. He's going, yeah. The Lord is about to save us. So he puts a rose on Mordechai Mount's him on the king's own state, and leads him through the streets of the city, shouting, This is the way the king honors those who delights in them. [00:41:04] And then afterwards, who? Mordechai goes back to his job, and haymon hurries home, utterly humiliated. [00:41:15] So now he's sulking. So keep in mind, this is the morning, the second feast with the queen. So later that day, just a couple hours later, as he's mourning and he's complaining and though his wife is saying, well, if Mordechai is a Jew, your plans are gone, completely fail. No, he still doesn't know. The queen is a Jew. So then the king's men come and get haymon to bring him to lunch. And in at Lighton. And I can just imagine that haymon is all sulking and morose during this banquet. And the king asks again to Esther, What can I do for you? We pick back up. This is Esther, seven. And at last, Queen Esther replied, If I've won your favor OKing, and if it please, Your Majesty, save my life and the lives of my people. For my people have been sold to those who will destroy us. We are doomed to destruction and slaughter. If we were only to be sold as slaves. Perhaps I could remain quiet, even though then there are being calculable damage to the king that no amount of money could begin to cover. So she hits right on. There is money that's been paid on this and don't matter how much has been paid. Even if we're disowning slavery, this is gonna destroy the king. Okay. And then the king replies. What are you talking about? And who would touch you? Assa replied. This wicked haymon is our enemy. Then haymon grew pale with fright before the king and queen. The King jumped to his feet, went out of the palace garden at Heyman's, stood up to plead for his life. The queen asked her, for he knew that he was doomed. [00:43:08] You know, this happens so frequently. All that loss and the enemy that's attacking us, we think they're about to win. And yet God has everything in his hands. And in just a moment, boom, it's all gone. So. In despair, haymon falls upon the couch where Queen Esther was reclining, just as the king returned for the palace garden. Will he even rape the queen right here in the palace before my eyes? The king roared and instantly the death fell. That hood was placed over Hanemann face. And then when the king's aide says Sir haymon is restored, order to 75 foot gallows constructed to hanging Mordecai. The man who saved the king from assassination. It stands in Heyman's courtyard. Heying haymon on it. The king ordered, so that's the end of haymon. Then the king is well, Mordecai Heyman's position gives Esther all of Heyman's possessions and in Mordechai writes, a decree that the Jews can not only defend themselves on that date. This is now about 10 months to go. But he can. They can also kill every one of their enemies who hate them. And and so on that day when it comes, the Israelites destroyed seventy five thousand of their staunchest enemies. So that's the story of Esther in that. Pretty cool. Am I wrong? All right. So now let's. I want to wrap this up and I want to give some really cool takeaways out of all this, because I think this is really kind of what's cool, cool with this. So the central thought on all of this that hit and hits me as I'm as I've gone through it. Is do you think the Lord could have prevented haymon from coming to power? [00:45:05] Could have. Yes. Yes. If he prevented haymon from coming to power without a protected his people and they would never have been in peril. [00:45:16] Yeah, unless someone else came and did that. But yes. OK. [00:45:21] But God chose not to do that. Yeah. Think about it. God allowed his people. To go through tough times. So he can deliver them and not only deliver them. But give them greater blessings, I think someone said that the darker the times you go through, the greater the blessings on the other end. OK. [00:45:51] So what we have to realize is because the Lord directs those events that have a major impact on our lives and accomplishing his will then as we go through these events, even though it's scary. Are are honest response should be to be at peace knowing that the Lord is in control and that all of these things, if we're in God's will. Okay, if we're doing our best to follow his guidance. OK. As we talked about last time. Then whatever happens, we should be at peace. And content knowing that God is guiding everything that's going on for some reason, for his glory and for our destiny of where we're to be used to that make sense. [00:46:39] Yeah. [00:46:41] And how often do we get our eyes off the law and back on ourselves and we start to get afraid and question the Lord. So if Heyman comes to powers, Prime Minister, the Lord allows him to do, he's choosing to destroy all of the Jews. But watch this long before he ever came to power. God put Queen Esther in position to deliver his people. God is playing this big game of chess and he knows exactly what's going on and he's positioning the pieces. Already. But watch this, see? God could have prevented haymon from coming to power in check. Instead. He chose to show his own power and sovereignty by delivering their people once they were in peril. And. And not only that, though, here's the kind of the other key is because haymon came to power, because all these events came through, because all the Jews were terrified and scared to death for their life. Then through that problem, through that process, God deliver the Jews even more. He didn't just deliver the Jews from haymon and the threat of being killed. He delivered the Jews from all of their enemies at that time because they killed all 75000 of them. So it was a greater blessing for them to have come through that process because they ended up in a stronger, safer, more secure position. Does that make sense? Yeah. So it seems that God allows us to go through tough times, not only so he can get the glory delivering us. But that he can bless us more through that. And I think there are five takeaways is that I get from this. First, the Lord is in control of all things. In the big scheme of things, okay. He doesn't control haymon. He doesn't control the evil, but he is in control. He has his overriding control of everything that goes on. That's the first thing we can get from this. The second thing we can get is that he's coordinating the activities long before their purpose is known. [00:49:05] Think about this. So. First. [00:49:09] He coordinates the activity to get rid of Queen Baster. I think that's her name. And then that forces King hazardous to say I need another queen. Who do I get? [00:49:22] They rip ask her out of her home. They thought that was bad and God is doing all that to position her. [00:49:30] In a position of power, but not only that, Mordecai then gets a job with a king. And he overhears his plot and he reports it. That plot and Mordecai overhearing it has a key role to play in this. By the way, do you know how long it was from the time of that plot to the time that the King read back through the Chronicles and said, we honored this person for saving? [00:50:02] I felt like it was. I felt like it was over a year, but I don't know exactly. [00:50:07] Yeah, yeah, it was. It was about five years to watch that one seemingly insignificant thing. He just happens over here, this plot and reports it five years later. Is the key to saving the entire nation of the Jewish people. Then so God is causing a lot of things that we don't even see long before they ever come to fruition. The third thing we can take out of this. If the Lord allows us to face complete loss, complete destruction, or, as I call it, running off the cliff, it seems like we're just about to run off that cliff and there's nothing we can do to prevent it. He allows us to get into that position. For us to be scared to death but rely and trust on him, in fact, one of the things Mordecai said to Esther. She said, I can't go before the king because. I could be killed. And watch Mordecai Faith in the Lord. He said, we'll ask her. Who knows if maybe you haven't been put in as queen for a time such as this to save our people. But if you don't do it, be assured that the Lord will save us. But it'll be through some other means. [00:51:31] So more ecchi has this great faith in the Lord. Great worry of what's going on, but great faith as well that the Lord can take care of it. And that's what happens. The Lord allows us to go to the edge, to go right to the edge of that cliff, then force. He always intervenes. He always protects his loved ones from destruction. He allows him to get to the edge, but he won't allow them to go over the edge. And fifth, which I think is pretty cool, is during that process. And because of that process, he also as a bonus, he blesses us even more, you know, with not only with the Jews and destroying all their enemies, but Mordechai is taken from just a lowly employ to prime minister of the entire country. So it you just see God's hand in all of this. And as I go through this, I am encouraged that he's always in control. He's coordinating all these events in my life and in your life that we don't understand, that we get concerned about, that we're afraid of. Sometimes he allows us to head straight for the cliff and we feel that we have no control in the matter because ultimately we really don't. [00:52:54] We are moving down. If you recall, one of the sessions we did early about God's timing versus Manson. I mean, we're in that little pipe. You're right. Going down that raging river and you can't stop it. You know, it is moving and you're just going along with it. So there are things that we can't stop. We see this cliff we're about to go over and we seem to be powerless. And then the lord comes in. And here's how he saves us. He saves us through a miraculous set of events. We may see them as circumstantial. When we see God's hand moving miraculously in a natural, we call it providential, providential circumstances. But make no false assumption. It is the Lord's hand guiding and directing all of it directly for our care, directly for his will, directly for where he wants to lead us, and this is time back into the last one. This is where it says the Lord will get us to his destiny for us. And he says, even if I had to put a bit in your mouth and force you that direction, you will go where I am sending you then. In that call. [00:54:16] Yes. Great. And even though I was just thing about, you know, what does this guy with all those all that does does that. I mean, he was before he was just a CEPR boy, basically just a son that helped on the farm and then look at where he ended up. Yeah. Only in command under the pharaoh. [00:54:38] Well, you know, even in my own life, I'll tell you a story. I don't tell this much, but I got involved with Amway as a freshman in college. You know what Amway is? [00:54:49] Yes. Yes, I do. [00:54:51] Yeah, it's a network marketing company, pyramid company, as people call it. And I come from a well-to-do medical family. And we had a great lifestyle growing up. My dad did very well financially and faithful before the Lord. But in freshman year college, I get hooked in Amway. I get hooked into the approach of, oh, my gosh, you're going to be rich. I thought literally that I was going to graduate college as a millionaire. [00:55:25] So I was. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Well, that's kind of what they told. I apologize. One moment. You can probably hear that helicopter back there. Good. Is kind of loud. Can you still hear me over the helicopter? [00:55:38] I can. Yeah. OK, great. OK, great. So. So I was about to quit college because I knew I didn't need it. My parents wisely tell me, just finish it. So I did. But I changed my degree and just had a great time in college and in studying. So I get out of college and then I find out I'm not making a bunch of money. In fact, I have to go home and live with my parents and all my friends who got a regular degree. They're getting all these nice cushiony jobs and they're buying homes. And woe is me, every time I see a friend drive by in a Mercedes or BMW or, you know, I was driving old jalopy. [00:56:17] My comment was there. But for me, go I. And after a number of years of that, I really thought I'd screwed up my life. You know, that pivotal point of my life and everything was screwed up. I went from job to job trying to earn money here and there. Nothing was happening. By 10 years, 12, 13 years later, I was still broke. Okay. I found myself unemployed. We had a small house and we've been faithful to the Lord all the time. But nothing was going on. And then the Lord bless us with this business that I started. And do you know what that business was? Adele, tell me it was selling, so during this time I started to really learn about marketing, started to really consume it. I tried a couple of businesses with a friend of mine. They never really amounted to much, but we honed a lot of marketing talent and we developed a product that really was great in generating leads. And so the Lord blessed me with just a little inkling of a business. And my first customer base. Was network marketers. [00:57:39] And then we started to take all this stuff that I learned in Amway, the attitude, the go get it, all this stuff, and we applied it in business and two and a half years later. [00:57:52] We were making a hundred thousand dollars a month in profits. Wow. Can you imagine that? And I look back and I think if it hadn't been for the Lord directed me into Amway, I would never be in business today. But during the time, I really thought I made a bad mistake. And I think all of us can probably look backwards and say the Lord's hand guiding them and kind of on that same topic. [00:58:21] I want to share one other thing. I was at church one day and man was asking me how how is my how my business was. And I told him, You mean in the natural or in the spiritual? Right. I shared that, you know, in the natural. It's like running full speed. The engine is running. The drive shaft is running. The wheels are spinning. But we're going nowhere because we're stuck in the mud, because at that time it felt like we have this big elephant standing in front of us keeping from moving. But I told him in the spiritual God has told me that we're going through wilderness time. Once I get to the wilderness, he's going to move that elephant out of the way. And we're gonna then just take off. And the man said, well, you know, he has a brother and or friend or someone like that who'd gone through some dark times in his business as well. I tell him, no, we're not in dark times. I've been in dark times. My business, but now is not one of them. I said you're only in dark times when you get your eyes off the Lord and put them on the natural. When you become afraid, that's when it's dark. But when you keep your eyes on the Lord, it's always bright. And and I was sharing the example of Peter walking on the water. So when we go through these times in our lives, it's important that we don't keep our eyes on the natural because we get become afraid. We start to question God. We put our eyes on the Lord. And that's where we have our trust. That's where we have our confidence. For sure. Yes. So any any other comments? We got to wrap up. But any thoughts, your comments? [01:00:02] Yeah, just for me. Trying to turn to keep my focus on knowing that all the little things like he just said, all those little things that I think might be ruining me or a bad decision or gas, ash, gas, I should have gone that way or whatever. The Lord still uses it all in his promises to take care of us as his children. Yes. [01:00:27] And I would go one step further if we're faithful before him. And we can honestly look at our life and say there is no sin in my life. I mean, no, no focus have seen in my life. Obviously, we all sin, but there's no sin in our life. Then we can know that we're in the center of wherever he has us. And therefore, not only know that those bad things, Glaude can bring something good out of it, but he's using those bad things to bounce us like that pinball machine. The next step down the path of where he's leading us, it's all part of his plan. [01:01:05] Yeah, to become fully mature. Yes, okay. [01:01:12] He matures us and he puts us where he wants us to be. To be used in his kingdom, to build his temple. And yeah, it's really cool. Really cool. All right. Awesome. [01:01:26] Oh, Beatty. I think we're about out of time. We probably need to wrap it up. But thank you so much for your time today. Thank you for your expertise. And just that, the diligence that you put into studying the word and and teaching it to our listeners and myself as well. This was a great call and I'm excited about our next one. [01:01:45] I am, too. We'll be talking on part three. [01:01:48] Sounds good. I guess we'll see everybody then. [01:01:52] Be blessed. All righty. Bye bye. P059 [/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

Inspired by the month of February, so often associated with love, join in an episode that examines the love of flow! Compiled from all the interviews since the creation of the Art of Flow in 2018, jump into hearing individuals flow stories, what keeps folks spinning, why fire-dancing and flow arts is important in their lives. Ask yourself, what creative outlets do you have and what do they bring to your life? Photo Credits for cover art Top Right: Photo of Dresden Blue by Juan Davila Top Middle: Photo of Duncan Greenwood Top Left: Photo of Troy Grisa Bottom Left: Photo of Aileen Lawlor by Jerimiah Johnston Bottom Middle: Photo of Xander Paris  Bottom Right: Photo of Dyami Kaplan  For the Love of Flow Ronan McLoughlin: [00:00:00] Depending on how I'm feeling on a particular day, I'm either going to be more predisposed to stress or can be more resilient. And that goes down to the basis of how my system operates, I feel. So whether that's how my physical body is working. Have I been, have I been using that well, have I've been doing good things for that so that things are running smoothly with that basis. Then also for all the different aspects of my mind as well. So have I been using my mind well. What if I could consuming. With my body and my brain. What are you putting into this? This mix that makes that makes me up and if I keep putting in good wholesome stuff and leads to more wholesome results. If I've been putting in less wholesome stuff, I get less wholesome result. So I think does a lot of stuff, Can we kind of invest in that? Can we try to take care or ourselves, I guess?   Morgan Dolginow: [00:00:56] Ronan is an innovative poi spinner that travels the world teaching and performing? He is the originator of Contact Poi and has spoken on Ted X about learning to learn. That was an excerpt from Ronan McLoughlin's episode on Awareness in which he discusses self-care. Keeping that in mind, how have we been taking care of ourselves? How can we make sure that we are consuming something that fulfills us? What about what we are listening to? In honor of the month of February, so often focused on love, whether it be relationships, self-love, appreciating friends and family are loving to observe the hallmark industrial capitalistic takeover of holidays present and marketing around us, you know, whenever floats your boat,   Morgan Dolginow: [00:01:41] I wanted to take a moment to examine our love of flow. So many wonderful individuals have spoken about flow and their lives, flow arts, dancing, creativity and what inspires them since the Art of Flow began in 2018. What do they share that reminds us why we love flow? Let's listen, and as an extra challenge, can you pick out what episode each person was in? If you can figure it out, post your answer on the Art of Flow group on Facebook, where you can connect with other listeners and maybe you'll earn a prize. Tani Olhanski: [00:02:17] My name's Tani. Poi was kind of like I have to spin this to be able to spin fire. It was never like that love at first sight, I held these things in my hand and was like, "Ahhh, this is it" and one day one of my friends calls me up and he's like, "Hey, I found this group of people in Dolores Park" and I was like, "what?" She was like, "they are like spinning poi and stuff, they're like, doing your thing that you do and you should go hang out with them. Practice with them." It's like, yeah. Where are they? And so I went down and it was DoloFlow. And so I started going and I think it was either my first or second day there, Tani Olhanski: [00:02:54] someone I don't remember who was had a dragonstaff and I picked up and was like, oooo I like this. And I spent the whole day spinning it and I was hooked from then. Every time I was around dragonstaff, I grab one. And then that opened the floodgates where everything else that came after. [00:03:15] Aileen discovered an enthusiasm towards the flow arts after moving to San Francisco in 2004 and delving into the practice of Poi, contact staff, and flow wand.   Aileen Lawlor: [00:03:24] We drove to the Rainbow Gathering, it happened in a random national park throughout the country. And this time we were lucky because it was pretty close by. So this must have been in '98, 1998. You know, it's just like this total hippie fest where everyday's camping out, and I remember seeing this girl spend fire poi right as the sun was going down and it just it clicked for me. There's something about the fire, there was something about the movement that felt like, "OK, this is the type of movement that my body can do." And I had a feeling that I was gonna be able to do it well. So I knew that, that was the thing that I wanted to do in the future. When I moved to San Francisco in 2004, I went with the specific goal of learning fire poi to enhance my resumé as an actor. So studying acting in New York and I thought, okay, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna learn fire poi. That'll be a cool thing to put on my resumé. It'll give me an edge and then I'll go back to New York and keep studying theater. Little did I know it was gonna take a little bit longer than a month to learn poi. And so I start taking classes in San Francisco and I ended up staying in San Francisco, clued into the fire community that was meeting up and connecting with all these different people that were really part of a very early fire scene before the word flow was even in the picture. Morgan Dolginow: [00:04:45] What is flow? Why do you love it? Lane Lilliquist: [00:04:48] Why do I spin? It's a practice. It has taught me more about my body than I could have ever imagined. It has brought more amazing people into my life than I could have ever imagined. And then in other aspects, like, what's it like when you live life in your healthy, and you're capable of doing all the things you want to do. It's awesome! You know I just can't describe it too much differently. Like when you go when you have energy for what seems like a marathon of running around the city all day on top of that it's like an amazing art form to witness. And I like that pur suit of perfection, the practice, the refinement, the honing skills, getting lines straight, you know, getting stalls in the point that I mean them to be catching and tosses in all the different variations that exist. That aspect really gives me a sense that I'm pursuing mastery. And I think that that's an important aspect kind of in anybody's life. Morgan Dolginow: [00:05:50] Kevin has pioneered various techniques and fire and flow photography for over 10 years. Kevin LeVezu: [00:05:55] Actually, one of the things I love about working with fellow artists and photographing them is they're looking at the world in a different way than I am, and they're looking at things that I don't even see. And so I love being around flow artists because they see an ideal world that I don't see. I'm older, and so in my world, you get a lot more practical, and the hope and the dreams that you see in flow artists are so much fun and one of the main reasons I love collaborating and working with them. Morgan Dolginow: [00:06:24] Britney has traveled to Austria for the World Body Championships, taught body painting at Burning Man, and has painted faces of hundreds of kids and adults alike. She is also an accomplished world travelling, hooping fire dancer.   Brittany Isphording: [00:06:38] Flow arts has really helped me heal a lot of deep seated wounds and I really enjoy sharing that with other people. Morgan Dolginow: [00:06:45] Dresden in an artist exploring the expressive potential of combining martial arts, circus and fine arts. Dresden Blue: [00:06:51] The early years it was, it was finding a way to express a lot of things that had been bottled up for a really long time in my life and building like a vocabulary that let me see those things in a way that I couldn't really with words. You know, with various romantic partnerships I had sometimes it's like had a . . . it's been a way to really deeply connect with another body as well as with the prop where you're able to get that kind of that that amazing sense of proprioception, not just for the prop, but with another person and able to really transfer like a really deep level of like somatic information back and forth to each other while you have this amazing fiery thing spinning around you at the same time. At other points, it's been a way for me to help other people heal, too, especially in doing private lessons in one at ones. You know, you can kind of start to delve into why people are wanting to learn these things and oftentimes it's it's because they want to feel empowered. They want to find a way to feel seen. And that's really powerful. Morgan Dolginow: [00:07:52] Veronica was introduced to then entrancing world of hooping seven years ago following the sudden loss of her best friend. Using flow arts as a means to transcend her earthly frustrations and sorrows, the art form has not only allowed a new avenue of creativity, but a positive outlet to be a role model and use for inspiring artist and dancers. Veronica Stein: [00:08:13] I tend to get lost in the details, I really love realism. I like doing spaces and animals and things like that. And so when I can really get in those details in that shading, I completely forget that I'm on a canvas sometimes until they move or speak. And it it's it's pretty fun because I do do flow arts. I actually started flow arts before I started body painting. And I do get that same we get sucked into the moment and you're just swept up in what you're doing, what you're creating. And it's really cool when you come out of it and you're like, oh, wow, that's what I just created. Rion Fish: [00:08:53] I'm Rion Fish, and I am a movement artist, variety entertainer and you know fish about time. Flow state kind of feels like very connected to things, we know what's going to happen, before it happens, I always think of the flow state like the spidey sense, of being slightly aware of what we're going to do before you do it, in operating at your peak condition. It's a little bit like being high on life. Morgan Dolginow: [00:09:17] Xander's life passion is martial, flow, and performance arts. He grew up involved in martial arts at a Muay Thai gym, years of dance classes, and theater which sparked his interest and movement, rhythm, and performance. Xander Paris: [00:09:30] Mentally, it really helped me by learning I can tackle challenges and really cementing my my determination, like putting things together new ways. And it really is like a big confidence boost to really see yourself improve. And it's a noticeable improvement, too, unlike, you know, your height, right? You grow a fraction of a fraction of an inch every day and you never notice when you're tall. But with flow arts, you get a move and all of sudden, you know that you can do that and you can see the progress. Morgan Dolginow: [00:09:58] I'm talking to Ty Roachford, the founder of Pop Dance Culture, an online resource hub and social media platform for fellow artist and those interested in learning prop dance fusion. He is also a student of neuroscience and an avid poi spinner. Ty Roachford: [00:10:13] Sometimes I will reward myself with just going like, okay, I'm going to work on this all day and then when I'm done, I'm going to go and do like flow arts stuff or just like spin, you know, like get into my own head and zone and just move around. Yeah, the feeling. It is my way to think about things that are not even related to flow. It is a meditative practice. So even if I'm not feeling like spinning, I'm feeling like meditating and getting into the zone and feeling like creative in some totally other different thing. I will go to that place that prop spinning, meditative place. Morgan Dolginow: [00:10:52] Richard is among the most distinguished American contact jugglers. He both teaches and performs along the West Coast and overseas at Indie stages to huge festivals. Richard Hartnell: [00:11:04] But I realized that in the same way that I need to eat from different food groups to keep my body from falling apart. And I need to run different social scenes to keep myself from falling apart. That music wasn't going to be enough. They could just play music every month let that be my only escape. And then I started wondering what the food groups of the creative experience, what are the food groups of flow states, right? And I thought, gosh, well I got music, and I have writing and I have cooking. What else have I got? Richard Hartnell: [00:11:32] Now I've got this pharmacopoeia medicine or something, like psychedelics or something is like a part of like inducing these mystical ego-less states. Then I realize, movement. I don't have a movement art that I do well. Well, I'm not a martial artist. Not a dancer, like I used to play sports as a kid but I didn't really care about them. So I quit. Richard Hartnell: [00:11:50] So I came home having meeting some circus people, and then I went to see a circus show that had happened here at RenFaire show that fall. And I went to see their show And during their show I realized, just like me as a DJ, they are also encoding psychedelic messages in their art, but they're also using art to spread a message of harmony, mysticism and inspiration and progress and beauty and joy. And I'm like, god we are on the same team. They don't even know! And I ran up about the show was done. Completely starry eyed. Found my friend Jocelyn and I was like "Jocelyn how do I get involved in this?" She's like, go talk to that juggler over there. And I went to that juggler over there, and I was like "Hey, man, Jocelyn says I should talk with you about how to  get involved in this thing?" and he's like "through juggling club." Morgan Dolginow: [00:12:38] Troy picked up a spinning poi in college that has been going ever since. A flow arts fanatic currently living in Portland, Oregon, learning water to move props each year. Troy Grisa: [00:12:47] I went with a friend to a World Beat's night, just at a local bar in Milwaukee, and you know the bass was thumping and the drinks were flowing. And I'm standing at the bar just kind of standing awkwardly, like too cool for school, just observing, and across the room, flies an object and wraps perfectly around my leg like a tentacle. With a sharp reaction, I bent over to pick it up. I didn't know what it was at the time. I was a podpoi and I picked it up, but I couldn't believe what I was holding in my hands. Incredible, glowing, pulsing, like I said, tentacle. Troy Grisa: [00:13:20] And I held it out at arm's length, studying it. When a dreadlocked wook came up to me, and said, "Hey, man," flicked back his dreads, "that's mine." With a huge grin I handed it back to him, and he, for lack of a better word, slithered back into the crowd while spinning it and keeping his eyes locked time. Obviously he was playing a part of being goofy with it, but I proceeded to watch him flow, and within 10 seconds of that happening, I took out my phone, typed in poi beginner set. . . Morgan Dolginow: [00:13:51] Meet Duncan Roy Greenwood, a flow artist from Cape Town, South Africa. He has spent much of his life trying to promote the flow arts, sharing it and getting others involved in the flow community. He created the flow arts commune Africa Burn, similar to Burning Man conclave in the US. Duncan Greenwood: [00:14:09] And now, I realize that you can make art using dance and math and juggling at the same time and photography to do it.So that is like a technical sort of equipment kind of aspects to learning how how light is captured. So this to me now is all of a sudden seemed like the ultimate form. Duncan Greenwood: [00:14:38] And I specifically then went and learnt how to spin poi, so that I could learn antispin, so that I could transfer antispin to my flower stick repertoire of techniques and I developed buzzsaw antispin fountain with flower sticks. By that time I started getting kind of good, or at least more comfortable with poi, and that become more comfortable to me than sticks. Morgan Dolginow: [00:15:07] Isa founded Temple of Point in 2002, a school community supporting artists, cultivating flow practices designed to empower them to better understand themselves, the world around them and how to interrelate through the use of poi dancing and other flow tools. Isa Isaacs: [00:15:24] I just had this transcendent moment where I was dancing and the poi just happened to be swinging around me as a part of the dance and it just something happened where for the whole flow on the Playa, and I just transcended me, and I was expressing the music. Morgan Dolginow: [00:15:42] Dyami Kaplan is a performer, flow arts teacher, a massage therapist from Santa Cruz, California. Dyami Kaplan: [00:15:49] The most effective ways that I've ever seen for this firm to grow is for us to continue to offer knowledge around it and offer learning around it as freely as possible. And there's definitely been a few ways that we do that. We've always tried to have an emphasis at the spin jam gatherings of not only sharing very freely with each other what we are excited about, but also welcoming in and having a very strong emphasis on inclusion with anyone who shows the interest in those shows up and like, "hey, what is this? What are you doing this? This looks interesting." And I think a lot of us recognize that it's really important if anyone ever comes to us like time to be, this is what it is. Here, try it and let me put this in your hands. Try it for yourself. Here's some things that you can do with it. And that's kind of the really important initial layer of it. And then beyond just offering classes as much as possible, whether that's classes, if anyone's inspired to teach in any format in the towns that they live in or if they have information that they're feeling inspired to share at the gatherings, the flow arts festivals and the firedancing gatherings. Morgan Dolginow: [00:17:05] Jilly Bee first picked up poi in the form of glow sticks and string's when she was 16, volunteering in a youth organization. She now spends much of her time cultivating community through interacting, connecting with its people. Much of her time in our circle is focused on organizing, leading, designing and facilitating community discussions on the future of our art. Jilly Bee: [00:17:24] When you're engaging in an activity that is bringing you present, the moment is very much an exercise. So you're exercising this big massive muscle and is able to move and work together when you're stimulating the creative side of your minds. The more you do that. That's a muscle. So the more you tap into that creative part of yourself, that part of yourself that can play, that does play, that does explore, and that is able to create a stronger it gets. It's really sad. I dare to say there's some people that go through their whole lives without stimulating that part of them. To them, creativity is characteristic of people who make art. And art is something you have to be really good at and you get paid to do. It's like this weird stigma. No, every single human being on this planet is inherently creating. Morgan Dolginow: [00:18:11] But what about me? Why am I creating this podcast. How did I get into the flow arts?  I broke up with my first love and I realized that I did not really know what love was. I had somewhere along the line had stopped loving myself. And through spinning, all those hours spent alone, exploring space and through self-expression, Morgan Dolginow: [00:18:37] I remembered what it was, reached out and found community. Thanks to everyone who shared in this podcast episode why they love flow, how they first encountered it, what it means in their lives, and what it's bringing to the table. I challenge you to ask yourself, what does it mean to you? How are you providing yourself outlets for creativity? Morgan Dolginow: [00:19:04] Thank you for listening to the Art of Flow. You can find more episodes on i-Tunes, Spotify, SoundCloud, Google Play or by visiting TheArtofFlowpodcasts.com. We love to hear from you, so feel free to send questions and podcast suggestions to TheArtofFlowpodcast@gmail.com. Also, running a podcast takes money to distribute it and ensure quality storytelling. The Art of Flow remains free thanks to the support of patrons, listeners like you who support the podcast monthly on Patreon. There are different types of support, all have varying members only benefits, such as access to full, unedited interviews, a chance to have your name included at the end of an undisclosed episode as part of a poll. Opportunity to submit your burning questions to be asked to specific individuals in their interviews and much more. So please click on the picture and link in the showed us below to find out more. Like the show? With YOUR support I can keep the podcast going, and incorporate your feedback, suggestions, and questions, to make the show even better. Together, we can make a flow arts podcast not only happen, but a continuing REALITY. Please consider sponsoring it here on Patreon!   The Art of Flow, a podcast all about fire artists, flow arts, fostering community, and optimizing learning is now available on iTunes, Spotify, SoundCloud, Google Play, and at www.ArtOfFlowPodcast.com You can follow The Art of Flow on Facebook or the  Art of Flow Podcast on Instagram for sneak peaks on what episodes are coming next, and for insider opportunities such as community events, videos of guests, and more.    Alternative of links and for social media posts: How do I listen to the episode? iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/art-of-flow/id1441666847 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/4heSAjGlrqCbxt0PiOgkD3 Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/810810810 Google Play: https://play.google.com/music/listen The Art of Flow Website: http://www.artofflowpodcast.com          

If I've learned anything from silent retreats, it's that being alone, while it may appear challenging, is actually quite a simple experience. When I'm hanging out with "me", I always take care of myself exactly how I want. I always make the food I want, I rarely argue with myself and I'm always keen to do what "I" want to do. The challenge starts to come when we add more people to the mix, when we start relating to others. Ram Das says "If you think you're enlightened, go home and spend an evening with your family". Reality is much more challenging when we have to consider people outside of ourselves. This week I have Sophia Leone who is on this planet, dedicating her time and energy to helping us create smooth encounters with others. She does this through a template of authentic relating. Authentic relating is an incredibly well thought out platform that allows us to access our most authentic experience and to share them in a way that honors ourselves and others around us. It teaches us to welcome the world around us, and to offer consideration beyond ourselves. Built on mindfulness, authenticity and heartfelt transparency, authentic relating is a practice worth learning and inviting into our lives.thanks for listening all!sending love and blessings from baliSophia and Samcheck out authentic relating in your area at:http://authenticrelating.co/check out my other stuff at:www.divedeepwithsam.comSupport the show (http://paypal.me/divedeepwithsam)

If I've got a lot of lack of belief or letting my subconscious negatively limit things that I'm thinking all the time, then how can I really be there for you as a friend or colleague? How can I truly listen to you if I've got so much chatter in my mind about all the things I'm not, or all the things that are wrong? I can't really be there for you in this state of mind, can I?If this is something you haven’t mastered, it will master you. We have to be able to quiet those things that are limiting beliefs or negative self-talk or sabotage in order to be able to be fully present and connect with another human being, to give someone the gift of being seen and heard, or validated. To have them feel seen and heard is something that is so priceless to both parties.You'll feel more connected and they'll feel more appreciated and that will become a spark that can open up new business opportunities, new relationships, new introductions, new possibilities, new collaborations, new community outreach, all of that and more!Listen here and let’s unleash this power in your relationships and get your life flowing effortlessly.- - - - - - - Take action and discover FREE resources here: http://www.mentorwithNorma.comBe social and connect on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/mentorwithnormaDecide to live doing what you like and share experiences here:http://www.facebook.com/whatilikedoing

We're exploring the science of Ayurveda with Wayne Celeban on the show today. Wayne is a Naturopath and Ayurvedic practitioner with over 18 years clinical experience. Wayne is passionate about empowering individuals to be sovereign in managing their own health and wellbeing. Wayne uses Ayurvedic and nutritional medicines, yogic breathing techniques, and integrated evidence-based research to assist in the management of common conditions such as chronic stress, digestive disorders and hormonal imbalance. Today's chat takes us beyond the dosha's (Vata, Pitta and Kapha), into the realms of the mind and the psychology behind dis-ease and disharmony according to the Ayurvedic system.   Wayne and Mason unpack: Traditional Ayurvedic Medicine and it's application in the western landscape. The Ayurvedic dosha's; Vata, Pitta, Kapha. The four goals of health according to the Ayurvedic System. The "witnessing factor" the part of every human that is witnessing our experience on earth. The origins of dis-ease in the Ayurvedic system. Not taking life too seriously, indulging in your personal curiosity and being present with where you are right now. The misuse of our intelligence in regards to our health choices. Wayne's favourite herbs and health practices.   Who is Wayne Celeban? Wayne Celeban is a Naturopath and Ayurvedic practitioner with over 18 years experience in clinical practice. Wayne received his qualification in Ayurvedic medicine from one of the leading colleges outside of India under the guidance of the renowned Dr Vijay Murthy (BAMS, MS, B.Nat, MPH, PhD). Wayne has studied in numerous Ayurvedic clinics and hospitals in India including JSS Ayurvedic University, Mysore. In 2012 Wayne was accepted into the SDM Ayurvedic Hospital and College post-graduate internship program in Hassan, India where he continues his clinical training. To achieve successful outcomes for his clients, Wayne combines the 5000-year-old traditions of Ayurveda and Yoga philosophy with western medical science and nutritional medicine. Wayne's experience and knowledge is evident in his professional practice and dedication in developing practical and effective health care programs to support his patients in becoming the best version of themselves emotionally​, mentally and physically.   Resources: Yukti Website  Yukti Facebook Yukti Instagram    Q: How Can I Support The SuperFeast Podcast? A: Tell all your friends and family and share online! We’d also love it if you could subscribe and review this podcast on iTunes. Or  check us out on Stitcher :)! Plus  we're on Spotify!   Check Out The Transcript Here:   Mason:   (00:00) Wayne, thanks so much for coming on, man.   Wayne:   (00:02) Hi, Mason. Thanks for having me.   Mason:  (00:04) Yeah, absolute pleasure. Good to touch base. I think we said it's been about a year since we've oh, since we met that time and then got to hang out up on the beach there just south of Noosa, right, but yeah, but it's been about a year. That's flown.   Wayne:   (00:19) It does. It goes quickly.   Mason:  (00:22) Do you want to just say a bit of an ooroo to everyone, let everyone know what you're up to up there in Noosaville and tell them a little bit more about your practice?   Wayne:  (00:32) Yeah, sure. Hey, guys. My name is Wayne Celeban. I'm an Ayurvedic practitioner and naturopath and have a clinic up in Noosa on the Sunshine Coast. Basically, what we do is we specialize in Ayurvedic medicine. We run different Ayurvedic educational programs here. We have our own range of Ayurvedic medicines that we formulate for our patients. We also do a complete range of organic teas and tonics. What else do we do? We've got a traditional Ayurvedic therapy center, basically everything Ayurveda. We run classical panchakarma detoxification programs, traditional programs that been used in India for over 5000 years. Basically, we do all things Ayurveda and we modify it to suit our Western culture in terms of nutrition and all that sort of stuff. Yeah, we love [crosstalk 00:01:33]   Mason:  (01:33) Yeah, you've got a solid crew up there.   Wayne:  (01:36) Yeah, we have. We've got a good team.   Mason:  (01:39) Yeah, you had a good team and then a good community around you. That's definitely what I noticed coming there and chatting with everyone in what's the name of that little marketplace that you're in there in Noosa, that little [crosstalk 00:01:51]   Wayne:  (01:51) Belmondos Organic Market.   Mason:  (01:53) That's right. Belmondos just had a good thoroughfare through there, but talking to everyone, you guys are just like waving that flag of keeping everyone healthy, so you got this real grassroots, honoring the traditions of the Ayurvedic philosophy seated in the middle of Noosa, which is really nice. It's a real sweet offering you've got up there, good quality herbs, as well, which we love.   Wayne:  (02:19) Yes.   Mason:  (02:20) Yeah, man, no, it was good. I always remember I had such a great chat there, really kind of turned me into thinking about Ayurveda a little bit more, despite the fact that I taught a little bit of yoga like back in my early 20s and so started entering into that world and then just got diverted and swept away by the Taoist tradition and not even going down that Chinese medical route. I could see with Chinese medicine that likewise, the complete Ayurvedic system, which both such complete systems that really require dedication, not just taking a little bit off the surface here and there and saying that it's Ayurveda.   Wayne:  (02:59) Yeah.   Mason:  (03:00) When I was talking to you, we were talking about doshas a little bit. It's always such a classic what I think even generally the conversations bandied around you must see that it's quite generalized. I think we had just such a good chat with you going through my constitutional elements and the fluctuating nature of it and where you could be like yeah, this is why everyone's saying you are just a classic Pitta constitution, yet here are the caveats and where different elements of your being having a bit of Kapha coming through, so on and so forth. I mean, just that alone, I think we should ... We're not going to go too deep into that today, but I think that might even be an interesting conversation for people that do like that archetypical and constitutional analysis. I mean, is there anything there you want to say about it just for people who may have just gone through maybe that basic Vata, Kapha, Pitta constitutional analysis? Can it be done online with a questionnaire or just by looking at someone?   Wayne:  (04:02) Yeah. Look, I think it's always useful to get to know yourself on a more intimate and more like a deeper level. I think looking at Vata, Pitta, Kapha and looking at these different body constitutional types is important, definitely, but there's a lot of other fundamental principles that lay the foundation for those dosha types.   Wayne:  (04:28) For example, we're all made of tissue systems and we have mental faculties and sense organs and there's a witnessing factor that we're all able to perceive life through. That acts at the basic foundation for life. Some of these things I feel are more important than understanding specifically what your body type is because once we understand what constitutes life, then we're able to be able to navigate our way through life more efficiently.   Wayne:  (05:02) An example of that is if we understand the mechanisms of mind, for example, the thing is, these concepts are universal. They're not dependent on whether Vata, Pitta, or Kapha is dominant. They're just there, so these are the sort of things that are really important to get a good understanding of because the thing is, from an Ayurvedic perspective, mind is pretty much the main cause of disease. If we understand the causes and the origins of disease, then we can start tracking through and seeing how that affects us physiologically and biochemically. At that stage, that's when your Vata, Pitta, or Kapha dominance starts to come into play.   Wayne:  (05:51) I think traditionally, with Ayurvedic physicians, Vata, Pitta, and Kapha wasn't something that was communicated with the patient so much. It was about finding that balance, but actually looking at what are the origins of disease? What are the causes and how do we eliminate those? , Pitta, and Kapha are like the effect of the imbalance of more subtle aspects or principles in Ayurveda that are more important to get your head around, so then you can find that harmony in general without having to get too complicated and caught up in all of this Vata, Pitta, Kapha questionnaire-type stuff that we're seeing online quite often.   Mason:  (06:32) Yeah, which is really because it's fun. It's about me and my constitution and then you get to like, yeah, which is great and all good, but having that conversation just really tweaked it for me. I feel like of course it wasn't Ayurveda or even Chinese medicine that got me offside with all that surface talk of doshas, yada, yada, yada. It was just the fact that I was kind of, I guess, not willing to go deeper to learn the nuances.   Mason:  (06:59) I think just going on your site, you're talking about the psychology and the mind. Just looking at those eight limbs, it's something that always, when I look down the barrel of just how extensive the psychological aspect of Ayurveda was, that branch, which.. How do you pronounce it...? Buddha Vidya, is that the-   Wayne:  (07:17) Buddha Vidya, yeah. That's psychology, yeah, psychology.   Mason:  (07:24) Which was always interesting, I think. I don't know whether we talked about it or whether I was speaking to Tahnee, my partner, about it, but looking at so much asana, with such an asana, physiological and diet-based approach to Ayurveda that have been taken and then, basically, disregarding the fact that you are going to have a lot of mental shit and a lot of patterns come up when you start practicing and breathing and meditating. That's something that seemingly a limb. This has really brought it up when I was going through your site and remember having that sense of just awe and remembrance of how incredible this whole system is, but especially how important that looking at the mind and acknowledging it when you're going into this system.   Mason:  (08:11) Kind of gone a little bit off course, so thanks for going with me on that one, man. This is always a good reminder that we can just go back to the mind and the fundamentals of life. One thing I'm really keen to jump in with you is the four goals of life, especially from this Ayurvedic system. I always love, especially from yourself that you've been so rooted in this tradition, I'm really interested to hear your perspective of what those foundations and what that benchmark place is to feel, go like as you're moving along in life, you ideally ... You're a practitioner, yet you wanting to start here. Obviously, you're there championing people to embody all these principles into their own life, tend to their own health, embody certain things into their family culture so that they don't end up in the practitioner office with anything super acute. From your perspective, what are these four goals? What are these four somewhat pillars we can use to gauge where we're at?   Wayne:  (09:15) Yeah, well, I mean, the four goals, coming back to the influence of mind in terms of general health and wellbeing, we're always looking at how we can find that harmony and that balance at the most subtle aspect of our experience. Coming back to what the Ayurvedic definition of life is is that it's the combination of the body, the sense organs, which act as the main communication pathways from the internal and the external environment. Without sense organs, we have no ability to experience our surroundings through visual, through hearing, seeing, touching, smelling, tasting.   Wayne:  (10:00) The third component is mind, so that is a combination of memory recall, perception. The ego falls into that category, as well. Then we have what's called budhi, which is like a higher intelligence. It corresponds to that part of you that has that sort of discernment or that ability to make good choices. Generally, when we get caught up in memory recall and reasoning, we generally make choices that don't necessarily support our wellbeing.   Wayne:  (10:34) The fourth component of life is the witness. There's something inside you. There's something inside me that is just aware. It's a non-local phenomenon. We can't measure it. We can't isolate it physiologically. We can't find the part of the brain where it resides. It's just something that's witnessing. What that does is it witnesses through the filter of the mind, so depending on the quality of the mind, it's going to determine that witness' experience, which then communicates and experiences through the sense organs. Then that determines the whole feedback mechanism and the relationship with life and our communities, our environments.   Wayne:  (11:19) These four goals of life, they're kind of like signposts that enable us to track how we're moving in life and to be able to enable us to organize our lives in a way that we're fulfilled in all different directions. The first one is known as dharma. Dharma is translated as like life path or virtue. This relates to what it is that you're here to do. What's your particular unique gift or experience that is part of your process.   Wayne:  (12:04) Traditionally, in Ayurvedic culture, there were different aspects of society that created a functional civilization. We had warriors. We had brahmins, which were like the priests and people that kept knowledge. Then there was people that were involved in trade and economics. Then there were people that were like the public servants. Basically, within those four caste systems, which originally, it seems as though people chose where they wanted to contribute to their society or their communities. That wasn't something that they were born into. It's something that they moved into based on what their dharma was, what their life purpose was. These days, we're having more opportunities to be able to find out what it is that we're interested in, what we want to do in life, and then we pursue that.   Mason:  (13:04) Yeah. That's such an important piece. I mean, adapting that to the modern life and having an appreciation, an intense amount of gratitude for the fact that we've actually got the space to consistently move around the earth and tune into what's passionate, what we're passionate about, and then the mobility to move into different careers or different callings is just far out. It's the most incredible thing absolutely possible.   Wayne:  (13:32) Yeah, it's fantastic. The thing is, if you think about it, on average, we spend eight to 10 hours within our work careers, so this is a long period of time. It's really important that whatever you're doing within that eight-to-10-hour period, you enjoy it. Thing is, if you don't enjoy it, you're going to be miserable. You might be earning well, but how does that relate to quality of life? How does that-   Mason:  (13:59) In practice, how do you coach people, like advise people on that because it's like obviously, there's going to be a huge ... I don't know whether there's going to be a lot of psychology involved and patterns involved. There's a lot of people doing a lot of rah-rah motivation to quit your job and come and work for yourself and go entrepreneurial or just simply follow your passion. I'm sure you're sitting there holding this solid intention for people's health. I'd assume that that isn't this pendulum swing, so how would you go about that if you see that there's a bit of the flames diminishing in that dharma sector of these goals?   Wayne:  (14:45) Well, it's something that we have to consider and look at because basically, I mean, it comes down to the individual. It comes down to what their goals and what their complaints are, what their objectives are, what they're personally wanting to get out of an Ayurvedic consultation. If we look at it from a neurochemical perspective or a hormonal perspective, thing is, if somebody's not aligned with what they really feel in their hearts or what they feel that they should be doing, that's going to be influencing their serotonin levels, their dopamine and norepinephrine. It's going to be determining whether somebody's in like a sympathetic response in general, which can then create excessive cortisol secretions in their system that then starts disrupting their digestive system, which then starts to, at that point, determine whether Vata, Pitta, or Kapha becomes imbalanced, whether there's overactivity, whether there's more heat and more inflammation or whether there's stagnation that's presenting as a result.   Wayne:  (15:52) I think it's important. I mean, from a clinical perspective and from my own experience and also from an Ayurvedic perspective, it doesn't ever seem to be a good idea to just take somebody from one extreme to the other and create a stressful situation. If somebody's not aligned with what they should be doing or what they feel that they should be doing, well, it's finding ways to carefully transition into more conducive environments that support their health and wellbeing, so supporting their mental faculties, supporting their relationships, their environments. Then that will eventually equate to better health in general, better physiological health, better mental health.   Wayne:  (16:44) If everybody's moving in that direction, everybody wins. If everybody's doing what they feel that they should be doing, the quality of that product is going to be fantastic. I remember in New Zealand, I used to catch a bus to college. I see it on the bus. There was this Polynesian bus driver. He used to sing for the whole time on the bus. He'd be drumming. He'd be playing music. He just loved doing what he did. Then the next day, he might get on the bus and the guy's just miserable and hates his job. Everybody feels it and everybody starts the day getting onto a bus with somebody that's really unhappy doing what they're doing, so it's really important.   Mason:  (17:32) Absolutely, man. Yeah, it's an interesting thing. I see more practitioners just like ... Well, I guess practitioners, yourself being a key example, especially like a leader, you've been studying this for so long and you've been studying the depths of it and then we realize that a true system tracking back 5000 years isn't just going to cherry pick what's nice and fits into a Western system of treating disease. I mean, as a practitioner, as someone teaching a philosophy and this is where you were saying you're needing to make it appropriately come over into the Western world and I guess that would involve as you've just brought up, having these conversations gently.   Mason:  (18:15) How many times can you just keep on giving digestive health protocols without addressing this and so you see lots of practitioners moving in this direction and, obviously, yourself especially. I'm always curious how you bring that up in a clinical setting. I'm sure it has to be appropriate. You need to be able to play in both realms, but wear that dharma heart on your sleeve as just is a core educational piece.   Mason:  (18:44) You're right it's like it's just the amount of cortisol running around. Even in my own life, it's like you don't want to be going and chasing this idealistic lifestyle revolving around freedom because I think dharma and when I've learned that simplified version of dharma, it's like just had a real flowery, butterflies and rainbows, kind of easy way of living. I mean, what's the reality of it from studying the vedic system in terms of putting yourself through the pressure cooker and almost in states of slight stress. However, you're putting yourself there within alignment for your heart so it aligns with growth. Does that fall into that immediate benchmark for how you're tracking somehow?   Wayne:  (19:37) Yeah, well, the beautiful thing about these ancient sciences is that they all correspond to each other, so they all, in a way, support each other in different angles. If you look at Ayurvedic medicine or the whole system of Ayurveda, it's actually built upon six philosophies that are adopted. Three of those philosophies are associated with being able to establish the right knowledge or to come to an understanding of truth and develop good reasoning principles. Basically, from a research point of view, you want to go into a research with a completely unbiased perspective and you want to have a methodology that enables you to get to a conclusion that you can feel confident based on all of the steps that you've taken to get to that point.   Wayne:  (20:33) We adopt those three philosophies, but we also adopt another three philosophies that enable us to navigate our way through life in a way that's harmonious and balanced. Then this is where we might bring yoga philosophy into managing that discord or that transition into finding more of a meaningful existence because the thing is, from my experience, I've been doing this for nearly 20 years. I mean, it's not something that I would say has been an easy journey, but the thing is, I feel like I'm following my heart. I'm doing what I feel that I should be doing. What comes with that is a lot of discomfort, also a lot of good experiences, a lot fulfillment, a lot of satisfaction. It's been a fantastic journey.   Wayne:  (21:45) The idea of dharma being a fluffy, flowery, butterfly, Walt Disney, happily ever after reality is part of the illusion. We might adopt things like raga and dvesha from yogic principles into that and go well, if you're looking for a life path that is going to be really comfortable for you, well maybe there's an attachment to things that make you feel more comfortable. Or maybe it's because you're having an aversion to discomfort. Dharma isn't necessarily a solution for feeling good. It can take a lot of courage and it can be uncomfortable, but it's meaningful, it's satisfying, and it's something that I think it touches those parts of your experience where there's satisfaction where you feel at a deep level you're doing what you should be doing and you're contributing to your external environment in a positive way.   Mason:  (22:48) When you're saying dharma's a way, is it that correlation or that tuning into that observer self, which is one of the four goals of life to ensure that that's coming through?   Wayne:  (22:59) Well, that's at the very essence of all vedic practices. For yoga, for example, yoga is that practice that connects your physiology with breath, with mind, so they all come into a beautiful harmony so that witness can actually experience life without any distortion. This is another thing with yoga. When I say that we modify Ayurvedic practices to suit a Western setting, it's not to suit the Western mind in the sense that we might find with yoga. Basically, people are becoming attracted to the gymnastic side of yoga and that gets a lot of attention.   Wayne:  (23:52) The real practice of yoga is to establish a clear relationship with the deepest part of your experience, which is that witnessing factor. That's why there's such a strong component of mind in there because it's usually the mind that gets in the way. It's usually the mind that is causing the disturbance and creating all of this internal dialogue that might be equating to not feeling good enough, not feeling adequate enough, feeling shame, feeling guilt, feeling all these different things or just distracting that witness from having a present moment experience in life.   Wayne:  (24:33) Yeah, I think dharma, if you're actually really living in that purposeful state, you're not going to be spending as much time in the past and you're not going to be spending as much time in the future. You're going to be here. You're going to be engaged in what you're doing in present time. Dharma is also, from my perspective, it's also it's part of yoga. It's part of that union and that ability to sit in that present state right now.   Mason:  (25:03) Yeah. You were saying if we start looking at the origins of disease and the doshas coming off center, so we start at those four goals. Physiologically, I think we're going to be able to save the body, the requirement through herbs and through movement and through diet and just keeping the body rolling right through the center [inaudible 00:25:24] talking about the way we're obviously, that's literally the way we're perceiving the world and ourselves around us. Is that correlating to our feeling states and our emotional states, as well?   Wayne:  (25:34) Yeah, well, our feeling states and our emotional states, our feeling states can correspond to what's called chitta in yoga and Ayurveda, which is it's the perceptive faculties. It's the mind that are associated with memory recall and reasoning. A lot of our experience and a lot of our feeling, actually, comes from our capacity or our ability to be able to recall impressions and recall memories and then formulate and organize that through what's happening through our sensory perception.   Wayne:  (26:09) Emotions are a little bit more physiological. You might have a feeling or a thought and that that process is actually going to create a neuroendocrine or neurohormonal profile. It's going to determine what sort of hormones the brain is secreting into the system and then you're going to feel the effect of whatever that is. If you have a thought or if you're perceiving your present moment through a memory that you're associating with fear or anxiety, then that process is actually going to create an anxious response physiologically. We can experience that through that gut-brain axis pathway, so a lot of the time, if we do feel anxious, we're going to feel it in the belly around the navel. That's our body's hormonal response and neurological response, which then starts to disrupt digestive functions and peristaltic functions and enzymatic production, all that kind of stuff.   Mason:  (27:17) Yeah.   Wayne:  (27:19) The thing is, in Ayurveda, we kind of like separate mind, sense organs, and physiology into three different components, but they're all operating as one functional component. There's no separation between any of these different processes. We've just got one. We've got the subtlest form of our experience, which is that witnessing on local experience that we can't measure. We can't form. We can't burn it. We can't squash it. It's just something that is there and then there's a little bit more of a disturbance or a little bit more of a vibrational frequency that comes into manifesting as mind. Then it starts to manifest its physiological components.   Wayne:  (28:08) We explain that through the elements, as well, so where you have more of the grosser manifestations of life, so we have vibrational frequencies that are related with sound. We equate that to where the space element starts to manifest or these high vibrational atomic particles and then they start to move. Then we get the air element and that air element starts to create a little bit of friction, so we get this fire element producing. Then we get condensation, which the water starts to manifest. Then once that solidifies, we get the earth.   Wayne:  (28:47) We've got Ayurvedic philosophy tracks the whole manifestation of the Universe from the very subtlest aspects of consciousness and intelligence through the very gross, which is the earth element. We're just operating within that frequency, so we have our physiological components that are made up of the atomic particles that we find on the periodic table and how they're organized will determine whether Vata, Pitta, or Kapha have become more dominant. We've got these subtle aspects that are actually influencing and animating these elements, so it's all just one vibrational format that we're operating within.   Mason:  (29:39) And so that's where that daily practice comes in, eh? In Buddhism, there's that chop wood, carry water. What you were just talking about is just making sure that you're not operating consistently from that place of fear, I mean, I remember and still find myself going all right, how am I getting onto my path? Who am I? What am I doing? Am I on my path? It's that constant analysis and goes so far into the mental analysis that you're not digging yourself a hole. Then remembering that it is that somewhat of a mundane, yet strong, yet meek, daily practice where you just go in and at least clear house. It might not have to be every single day. I think I'm still, as most people probably are, still working on this really hard, so I'm not operating from any of these fear-based patterns, especially shame-based patterns, so on and so forth.   Mason:  (30:34) That's, I think, whether it was when I was practicing yoga or when I'm practicing martial arts or whatever it is, that's quite often what it can get my Western mind forlorn in terms of just how much work I've done on all these things and all these patterns. Yet, here I am like a decade later and, in a state of weakness, maybe I was a bit tired, maybe I was a bit stressed with things going on in life and that same, bloody pattern comes up, the one that I thought that I dealt with.   Mason:  (31:06) It seems what you're talking about these four goals of life being such a pillar, it's what we're looking at. Then you can branch into that yogic philosophy, whether it's the stages of meditation, stages and somewhat humble intentions of physical practice, along with pranayama and the pranayama's many branches and progressions, as well. It's all coming back to just that very simple, kind of you can't really make it too goal oriented. You just need to work on those pillars and then allow whatever needs to come forth to come forth, eh?   Wayne:  (31:51) Yeah. Well, I think it's sometimes we need to remain in a relaxed state of confusion because our life paths aren't always clear to us and what our purpose is and what we should be doing. Life's very complicated. We don't have any prior training when we come in. We land and we've got to figure it out as we go and somehow do the best that we can. Yeah, just following these four goals, they just enable us to at least have somewhere where we can go right, how am I doing in this department? How am I doing in this department? Then we can gauge well, maybe I need to focus more attention in another area. Let's just cover the four so we at least we've got something to reference.   Wayne:  (32:41) The second one is kama. Now, that's not kama as in like cause and effect. It translates as wealth. It's really important to have an understanding or pursue your unique purpose in life. It was always regarded as important to make sure that somebody will pay you for it, so like we-   Mason:  (33:10) You're saying kama as in the translating to wealth?   Wayne:  (33:13) Yeah, K-A-M-A. It's not K-A-R-M-A like karma as in cause and effect. It's a different meaning and a different word. It relates to wealth, so you've got responsibilities. You need to provide food. You've got to provide a roof over your head. You may have children. You may have certain responsibilities, so it's maintaining and supporting all of the things that create comfort in life. If you don't have money, it's difficult. There's Tim Robbins. One of his quotes is, "Money in the bank creates a Buddhistic calm." There's a lot of truth to it. I mean, there's different parts of creating a full experience.   Mason:  (34:00) Can you say that one again so we can just land it?   Wayne:  (34:03) Yeah, so having money in the bank creates a Buddhistic calm, so it's a sense of peace. Knowing that you're financially stable is a very calm effect. I know when I've been in difficult financial situations, it's very difficult to go and meditate or to do yoga or to not be in a cortisol-dominant state because the thing is, I mean, bills keep coming in. Your overhead's whatever it is that you have to be responsible for. They don't change. It is important to do what you love, but do it in a way that people will pay you for it. That's going to create a really important pillar for your existence.   Mason:  (34:47) Well, you just brought up taking the responsibility on your shoulders, as well, and that's such an important piece there because I feel and I kind of make some broad statements and broad observations of the health scene and the yoga scene. Really, it's been nice to see that self-worth and really honoring your value and that's good.   Mason:  (35:15) I think sometimes it comes from a place of have you earned it yet? Do you deserve that? That's that my I like coming through with that little bit of that critique. I like doing it to myself primarily, but let that trickle down into that responsibility of man, if you're going to be wealthy, acknowledge the fact that you're going to have these overheads. It's something I'm still working on. Don't make it about other people needing to pay you what you're worth. How about you get your own worth in the worth of like the responsibility of that little bit of money that's coming into your world and manage that correctly and learn how to actually ensure that that's going to keep the food and keep the roof over your head.   Mason:  (35:56) I feel like this kama needs to like this is one of those ones I feel like I very quickly brushed on it when I was going into the Ayurvedic and yogic philosophy. I feel like it's something very easy for young tuckers and seekers and a lot of us have been, I definitely was, to just go right to the cool, shiny things that is, say, dharma, and not look this down the barrel completely beyond the get paid what you're worth.   Wayne:  (36:27) Yeah. Yeah. It's important. I mean, we need to have a foundation to support our dharma and also our other interests in life and things that we're into. Yeah, money's been sort of tainted, I think. It's sort of there can be shame or there can be issues around having money. A lot of that comes from the way that money's been used in the past, creating these social structures and these institutions that control people and keep people operating a certain way that supports maybe a few people, but it doesn't support the collective, so it can be a grey area depending on how you're looking at it. I mean, it's important to develop a good, healthy relationship with that so then you can create that nice flow and that nice foundation.   Mason:  (37:27) I think, man, this is really great and, as you said, allowing that relationship to develop. I feel like it's something that can't be really learned quickly. We were so heavily programmed by a very marketing and sales-driven culture, basically, which is fine. We've all learned a lot through that experience. However, not just going and just jumping over into a motivational, entrepreneurial speaker to give you the download of how you should approach and relate to money now. I think that's something I see a lot, as well. What's coming up for me is just how much respect in terms of a nice, slow emerging process for you to reevaluate your relationship to money, to wealth, and what relevance it actually has in your personal life, not the relevance based on ego or social standing.   Wayne:  (38:33) Well, it's a practical tool that creates opportunities and that's important. We need that. I mean, everybody wants to have more opportunities and more freedom to be able to experience their self and their environment. Yeah, I think it's always been regarded as an important factor in terms of pursuing happiness and contentment and all these spiritual practices that people have been engaging in for thousands of years.   Wayne:  (39:11) Coming to the third one, this is another interesting goal of life that we especially if people are more inclined to very intense and focused spiritual paths they tend to overlook, as well. Actually, you know what? I just have to correct myself from 15 minutes ago. Artha is the translation for wealth. Kama is the translation for desires or passions. Sorry I got that mixed up.   Wayne:  (39:50) Actually, let me just ... I'll give you the sutra and then we can work from there. The sutra goes [Sanskrit 00:39:55], which translates as wealth, sorry, life path, , desire, and liberation are the four goals of life and health is the foundation for achieving those four goals. That's one of the basic original sutras in vedic culture and also in Ayurvedic culture.   Wayne:  (40:20) nYeah, the third one is desire, so that's where there are things that you're interested in in life that may not necessarily directly equate to you becoming wealthy or supporting yourself or following your life path, so it's really important that ... I use the example of watching David Attenborough. Now, I used to watch David Attenborough when I was kid, six o'clock on Saturday afternoon, and I loved it. And I still do. I mean, the insight into our natural world is just phenomenal. It's a great experience for me personally.   Wayne:  (40:58) That's not something that's engaged in my occupation or what I do for a living, but I'm interested. What it outlines is that we have to follow those interests. We have to develop that ability, that healthy ability to be curious with our environment. That can be anything. That can be music, could be the arts. It can be anything that is unique to you that you need to explore that's personal. It's a wonderful thing.   Wayne:  (41:28) I mean, if we work all the time, then life can become a little bit dry, even though we're doing our purpose. If we're earning all the time, that can become dry if we're not actually enjoying and having quality of life and just being in this beautiful place. We're on a rock that grows humans flying through space. It's an incredible experience and it's bloody unusual thing that we're actually doing that we don't really think about. It's important that we stop and reflect and find out well, what am I curious about in this process for this time that I'm alive. Do things that you love. Do things that you enjoy.   Wayne:  (42:11) Kama also relates to procreation, so it's about being attracted and finding your mate in life and all of that kind of stuff. Yeah, it's like the juice of life. It's the essence. There's a term in Sanskrit called rasa, which translates as juice or melody or also it's taste. It's kind of like just nice, nice, things. Rasa is also the name for the plasma fraction in the blood and rasina is the translation of rejuvenative therapy. If you look at the relationship between all of those different definitions, kama could also be translated as finding that rasa, your own rasa in life, your own melody, your own pleasure, things that you enjoy. That's really important.   Wayne:  (43:17) Then the fourth one is moksha. Do you want to discuss that one before we move?   Mason:  (43:25) I just thought it was cool to make that distinction between dharma and kama there, that like they're on their own track and we don't need to overly spiritually glorify every single one of our actions and try and justify it under the banner of our dharma that there is that for those of us that put a little bit more pressure on ourselves, it either has to be working towards now whether our work purpose, hopefully that's also in alignment with our life purpose, but just allowing that desire to sit there and be that healthy aspect of exploration without that needing to be like how does this align with my path or monetization.   Wayne:  (44:04) Yeah. Yeah, if we can find a balance between those three, we're 80% of the way. We're 75% of the way. The fourth one is moksha, which translates as liberation or freedom, so that's where a lot of these spiritual paths come in because the objective is to get to know who you are. At the essence of most spiritual paths that I'm aware of is that it's all about a relationship with self and undoing all of the gunk and all of the fear and all of the different things that get stuck to you throughout your life. I mean, as soon as we come into existence, we're conditioned. We're conditioned through our societies, through our cultures, through people that we interact with. We're conditioned through our traumas during school and all of these sort of processes that put us into different boxes and coming from the side.   Wayne:  (45:09) Moksha is about undoing and unraveling all of that stuff. If you take away the trauma, you take away the fears, the anxieties, the grief, the anger, the irritability, the depression, all that kind of stuff, you peel all that back and you're left with you. It's just that witnessing factor that is there but it's not being filtered or distorted through mental faculties that create an illusion. I think that's the essence of yoga practice, as well. It's where you just become you're suspended in that state of pure awareness. That's always been regarded as a really important factor during vedic times, in vedic civilizations and I think it filters into Buddhism and Hinduism and all those Eastern philosophies, as well. It's coming back to the origin and existence.   Wayne:  (46:03) That's like the ultimate goal as a spiritual person is to become enlightened, but if we look at that also from the practical level, we can address that on a day-to-day basis. For example, if I have anxiety around getting on a plane and traveling because I've got a fear of heights or something like that, then that fear is always going to be limiting my experience and my capacity to really explore my reality, explore, explore, explore the world.   Wayne:  (46:45) By looking at moksha at smaller increments along that path to enlightenment, well, then we can start addressing and looking at all things. Where do we have self-imposed limitations? Where are we holding ourselves back in terms of preventing ourselves from having beautiful experiences because we're scared of something?   Wayne:  (47:11) If you look at most behavioral conditions and mental health conditions, there's always a fear at the very core of that, which is a contracted state, so moving beyond that a day-to-day basis, so if I jump on a plane and I go and travel to a different country and I meet all of these beautiful people and experiencing different geographical locations, well, then I'm in an expansive state. My reality is increasing. That can be anything from day-to-day basis, so wherever there's some sort of resistance, that's an opportunity for a form of liberation, which then will contribute to more increments of fear or self-imposed limitations and beliefs coming apart and then all of a sudden, you just find yourself feeling happy for no reason.   Mason:  (48:13) Yeah, well spontaneous happiness, that's something that I did back when I was looking at bringing ashwagandha back into the range and looking at the general intentions behind the tonics and the Ayurvedic system that spontaneous laughter and spontaneous joy was one of the key in some of the texts I was looking at and looking at Michael Tierra, who's an Ayurvedic practitioner, as well. Just looking at his, that was one of the things that kept on popping up in a couple of other texts, as well. I was like oh, how fantastic just as an intention and to have that possibility and those four goals and then the foundations in the sutra. You're saying that the foundation is health and then very obviously seeing that you're not going to be able to actually separate health from the expression of these goals to begin with, that we're all talking about the same thing and they're going to be feeding into that health.   Mason:  (49:11) Then you go on and we start looking at disease and injury occurring in the body sometimes can be a catalyst for growth, I'm sure, in some of those four areas. However, I think this is something fair to say, as well. We don't want to have to rely on trauma or anything with our health being a catalyst for us getting onto our path or needing to make wealth and so on and so forth. If we can, just bring awareness and stay in a place of health and digestive balance and then just go on a little bit smoothly. It doesn't do good for a memoirs or a biography or anything like that, but it's probably a little bit smoother along the line. From there, we start looking at origins of disease and Ayurveda. It's probably a huge conversation. We're pretty ambitious about what we were going to cover today, so we might have to have another.   Wayne:  (50:08) We didn't get far, did we?   Mason:  (50:12) Well, I mean, but I'm still interested to touch base and then to be honest, I think I want to touch base on cleansing procedures, but I think we're almost going to have to have an entire panchakarma conversation. Let's just start looking at this origin of disease in a very ground level from your approach.   Wayne:  (50:33) Yeah. Okay. Just in response to what we've just discussed, looking at what constitutes health and spontaneous joy, it's really important to have a benchmark or an understanding or reference point to what the definition of health actually looks like. This has been clearly explained in classical Ayurvedic texts. Basically, the translation is one with balanced doshas, so the balance of Vata, Pitta, and Kapha, so in a really simplified sense, we can say if we have good communication between the body and good, healthy, unrestricted movement that's not excessive or deficient, if we have good regulating processes that determine our homeostatic thermostat and temperature and if we have good stability within those tissue systems, that could be defined as Vata, Pitta, or Kapha.   Wayne:  (51:48) Balanced doshas, balanced digestion, so being able to properly disassemble and absorb nutrients and separate them into waste products, balanced tissues, so plasma, blood, muscle, fat, bone, and marrow reproductive tissue and balanced waste products, so a good balance of sweat, urine, and feces, and one whose senses, mind, and body are full of bliss is defined as a healthy person.   Wayne:  (52:21) I mean, they've set the benchmark pretty high, but I think it's really important to know where we're heading, so what are we capable of? What is the potential of human health and wellbeing because if we're only basing it based on how we feel today and how we feel tomorrow, we're only going to be able to work within a certain parameter or certain frameworks. We can then gauge that maybe we feel better than we did last week, but if we don't understand well, how could we feel, like what is the sum total of good, well-balanced health, well, then how do we move towards that? How do we move towards a state of balance? I love the fact that they acknowledge that the mind, body, and senses are full of bliss. We can use that as a gauge. Sometimes we just feel good for no reason.   Mason:  (53:19) Mm-hmm (affirmative), and that's okay. Yeah. That's not a weird thing. You're not a weirdo.   Wayne:  (53:23) Yeah. Yeah. Well, it shouldn't be regarded as an unusual thing.   Mason:  (53:27) Well, you were talking about confusion before and the fact that you can be in a relaxed state of confusion. I thought that's really good. It's a real like you turned up to work with a smile on your face. "Hey, how you going?" "Yeah, I'm confused. Yeah, thanks for asking."   Wayne:  (53:43) Well, the thing is, I think it's just important not to take life too seriously. It's important to honor it and make the most of it, but not to get too caught up in it and feel as though you have to be something that you're not in this moment. As long as you're tracking towards, moving towards that definition of health and you're consciously aware of your life path and earning and creating good, solid foundation there, exploring the things that you're interested in, looking to move through your fears and move towards getting to know yourself better, that's great. Just do that, but if you're not there, it's okay.   Mason:  (54:24) Yeah. Having that intention to move towards that place I think is nice without that pressure coming at it from that place of joy and even allowing yourself to be confused in a nice, relaxed way in terms of what health is and what you're moving towards because it can get a little bit daunting when you just go oh, there it is. It's that simple laid out in front of me and this is what I need to get to that elevated state of health. Of course, in practice, in life, it's never going to be that simple. It's in the texts. I haven't studied Ayurvedic texts and vedic texts much, but I know in the Taoist texts or in many traditions around the world, it's acknowledged that here it is. It's very basic, but we understand the complexity of life, as well, so just know that it is going to be a unique journey, as well.   Mason:  (55:16) I mean, in terms of the origins of disease, we see very quickly there if we're looking for harmony and we're looking for aspects of our health to be in alignment with each other, if they're not, we're going to see, say, we're going to see imbalance emerge. We're going to see disease emerge. I think what's nice, I think everyone sees a lot of what I've seen Ayurveda in the past heavily revolving around treating illness and not seeing yoga being practiced in a way that was holistic enough to really bring forth a well, and this is just the yoga that I went and sought, bringing about this well-rounded, robust health that we're talking about and is somewhat why I moved in the direction towards Taoist practices just because I wasn't looking in the right places.   Mason:  (56:11) The Taoists took it in a different direction, but of course it's somewhat the child of Ayurveda. That is definitely the ancestor in here, so no doubt there might've been some elaborations and different focuses based on the different terrains and mindsets. Of course, Ayurveda is going to have it covered completely as a system. In terms of disease, are you feeling to touch base on anything relevant there and how it has its origins?   Wayne:  (56:45) Yeah, so in terms of disease and its origins, Ayurveda defines three causes of disease to be at the core of all physiological and mental imbalances. The first one is known as parinam, which relates to environmental factors and time, so there's certain within this experience and these elements in this physical universe, there is a process of growth and degeneration. It's a basic mechanism that's at the origins of all cellular biochemical function.   Wayne:  (57:31) Basically, we have, at a cellular level, we have things like DNA that create, store the blueprint of the production of amino acids and proteins and tissue-building components. Then we have, say for example, the metabolic processes that generate the energy so that can come from a potential into a process of potential, so we've got the stored intelligence that then organizes itself into tissue-building components. There's a process of that and then eventually, we get what is the product of that creative potential, which is considered as the known or the form or what is expressed from that nonphysical creative intelligence.   Wayne:  (58:23) Then after that, we get that degenerative process, so eventually, that cell will go back into a state of degeneration. Those elements and those atomic particles will then be transferred into generating new creative potential, the expression of that creative potential and what's expressed from that. Time is a process that is going to be influencing our physiology. I mean, nobody's getting out of here alive. There is a lifespan that we have and we're just part of that. That is a cause of disease.   Mason:  (58:56) Right, and the speeding up of these processes... In some of the instances.   Wayne:  (58:56) Yeah.   Mason:  (58:56) What are you looking at in terms if you look at your lifestyle, what are ... Some of these might seem obvious, but I'm keen to hear especially in these aspects of lifestyle, I imagine we're looking at diet and movement and so on and so forth, but one of the things, if we're looking at the origin of disease, especially disease coming up down especially when we start aging and we get into that death cycle a little bit more. How do you approach some of the key areas to stay in harmony and not allow disease to come up in a body and how have you approached them in a way that allows you to stay consistent and not get swept off into anything new, necessarily get swept off and go into something that's like a fad or what's the next best thing. How do you approach that?   Wayne:  (59:53) Well, the way that I approach that personally is that I apply these principles and I'll measure whatever fads or whatever health trends or exercise trends that are coming through and I'll look at how that translates into these basic mechanics of life. As an Ayurvedic practitioner, I can appreciate the fact that Ayurveda is not a manmade system of healthcare. It's an observable system of nature. What we're looking at, we're looking at the principles of how nature evolves and fluctuates and what are the laws around that that bring about happiness and joy and sustainable physiology and what destroys it. I'll use those principles and look at how that ties into whatever the latest herb is or whatever the latest berry is or exercise or cleanse or whatever because, I mean, the thing is, it's a multibillion dollar industry. There's always going to be something new. The industry needs to continuously recreate itself to keep people engaged and interested in that.   Wayne:  (01:01:10) That's why I really appreciate Ayurvedic systems is because we're not trying to create anything. We're looking at how we sustain life, how we sustain the basic mechanisms of life that support cellular health, that support mental, physiological health, support our sense organs so we can maintain good, clear, direct perception with our external environment.   Wayne:  (01:01:36) In relation to the other two causes of disease, excuse me, I use these as a basic indicator of how I'm tracking and what my relationship is with the external environment, so the second one is known as asatmya indriyartha samyoga, which means improper utilization of the organs of perception and their objects.   Wayne:  (01:02:01) For example, if I'm continuously staring at a computer screen for six hours, writing or doing whatever I do, I know that that's going to start affecting my retina. I know that it's going to start influencing things like melatonin release or I'm lucky if I'm watching, I'm on my computer at night and I'm going to bed now it's time, I know that that may affect my melatonin. If I affect my melatonin, then I'm going to have difficulty getting to sleep. If I have difficulty getting to sleep, I'm not going to possibly get into good REM three or four sleep state, which means I'm not going to efficiently break down beta amyloid plaque, which means I'm not going to organize the information very well in my brain. It is then going to result in me waking up tired in the morning and that will potentially have further impact on digestive functions and homeostasis and that sort of thing. It's important that we have correct relationship with the objects that we're perceiving through our sense organs.   Wayne:  (01:03:05) That's a big one. That's a big one culturally for us because we have these devices constantly where they're attached to us. We're constantly looking at them. We're looking at them at night. They're influencing our mood state. They can be generating anxiety. They can be generating depression, dependence, addictions, all that kind of stuff. That's a big one from an Ayurvedic perspective.   Wayne:  (01:03:31) the third one is known as pragnyaparadha, which translates as the misuse of intelligence. This is considered as the main cause of disease. Basically, this is not exercising our physiology and our mental faculties in an intelligent way. I know that Coke is going to affect my glucose levels. I know it's probably going to lead to inflammation. I know that it's got caffeine. I know that it's highly processed, but sooner or later, I'm probably going to succumb to drinking a can of Coke on a hot day at some point. This is where we misuse our intelligence and we start generating things that start causing imbalance physiologically.   Wayne:  (01:04:18) If we look at what that mechanism, how that might look physiologically, if I'm staying up watching Netflix until 2:00 in the morning, I start affecting my sleep patterns. I start creating ... I'm not feeling as clear and as awake the following day. Then I start becoming stressed out because I'm falling behind or I'm not reaching my targets terms of or whatever it is that I have to do or I'm just not relating to the people around me very well because I'm tired. That starts to disrupt my hormonal system. That'll put me into a sympathetic state. I'll start producing more adrenaline and then all of a sudden, my digestive system starts to just not function as efficiently.   Wayne:  (01:05:17) This is the basic kind of process of disease from an Ayurvedic perspective. This is pretty much how most chronic health issues start to manifest. Once we start disrupting our neurohormonal systems, then our digestive systems start to be disrupted, so all of those neural pathways that service digestive function influence enzymatic production. They influence peristalsis, transit time, digestion, so if I'm eating food or I'm eating food at the wrong times, I might not be efficiently separating food substances or absorbable nutrients and waste products.   Wayne:  (01:06:00) That's pretty much the whole function of the gut is to take food and turn it into healthy tissue and to separate the waste product and move it on and effectively eliminate it from the system. If I'm not digesting that efficiently, I end up with a byproduct of that digestive process and we call this ama in Ayurveda. I think the best translation of ama is gunk. It's not toxin. It's just gunk. It's just like digestive residue that starts to coat the lining of the stomach, whether it's in the stomach, small intestines, or the large intestine. Then that starts to further hinder the quality of digestion absorption and eventually, that gunk starts to move into the bloodstream, so it starts to influence the quality of plasma and blood. Then that's where we get symptoms of fatigue, lethargy, foggy mind, all of those initial symptoms of not feeling well, not feeling hundred percent.   Wayne:  (01:07:07) The problem is, is if that gunk isn't efficiently removed from the system, it might find its way into the joints, so it might start accumulating in my knees, for example. If I've got a genetic predisposition let's say rheumatoid arthritis or autoimmune conditions in the family, it might mean that that is the most compromised tissue system in the body so that starts to build up there because the immune system is a little bit more compromised. Eventually, I might start having symptoms of heat, redness, inflammation, swelling, and eventually, I might use some Voltaren or some-   Mason:  (01:07:53) That's good stuff.   Wayne:  (01:07:54) ... chemist antiinflammatories. I use that so I'm not feeling the pain. I'm not feeling the discomfort. Over a period of time, my immune system is going to develop a non-local response. We call this an autoimmune response, so then we activate this autoimmune condition and then all of a sudden, we have this degenerative-type process happening in the knees. Then further along that line, we end up with a lot of tissue damage. Then we end up with possible fusion or deformity of the joints. That's usually the time that we'll diagnose that as rheumatoid arthritis.   Mason:  (01:08:34) Right, so a little bit too late.   Wayne:  (01:08:36) Yeah, so if we track that all the way back, all the way through from the joint to the channels of circulation back through the intestinal wall into the stomach through the neural pathways and the hormonal pathways back into the endocrine system, back into the brain, back into the mind, back into the choices, we can see that everything stems from misuse of intelligence or just directing our physiology or mind or functioning in a way that's conducive to health and wellbeing.   Mason:  (01:09:10) There's so many things to unpack there. I definitely feel like from the cleansing perspective, I think we're going to have to do another podcast just covering that. Otherwise, we're going to end up with a super, mega three hour fest on our hands here. I then like if you track back to the wealth goal or [inaudible 01:09:38] in one where you take responsibility and I can see that can become so overbearing at times, especially if you don't have dharma in your life and so then your kama desire somewhat gets a little bit suppressed there and you need to sneak it in.   Mason:  (01:09:56) Therefore, some of the mental choices you're making through your mental patterns and your intellect are going to be towards those to I'm thinking something which isn't being acknowledge and take you down that track where you're going to consistently have a practice that is not going to be revolving around acknowledging what you are actually perceiving around what you know and feel is going to be right for your own path. You have sustained your own destiny and, therefore, you might stay up consistently late consistently.   Mason:  (01:10:25) This is something I can really empathize with that these patterns can seem like they can and addicts will definitely know that you can even slight stealth addictions, they can be overbearing. You really got to get in there early or now. No matter what it is, whether it's food or just that little bit more booze at night or even social media or TV and just of knock it on the head because doesn't matter how much you make distinctions around not watching that screen and getting that blue light at night, so you're setting up the sleep environment so that your digestive health can be rocking so down. There's only so much you can do in terms of looking at the health practices. Hopefully, they can crack it, but a lot of the time, they can't crack those mental patterns, so you got to get in there.   Wayne:  (01:11:12) Yeah. This is where your life purpose becomes really important because if there are addictions, if there are attachments to alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever it is for the individual, there needs to be something that's greater than the sum total of those attachments. It's unrealistic to think that somebody's just going to give those up because what are they replacing it with? Nothing, which means that they're even more miserable.   Wayne:  (01:11:43) At least there is pleasure. At least there's something that they can have for a moment where they go all right, this is nice. This is an escape from the discomfort that I experience through my own thought patterns or my repetitive behaviors or the situation that I've created for myself or the situation that I found myself in. I think this is why things like yoga practice and things that bring us back to finding the simplicity and the aspects of our existence that encourage us to make better choices and to just generally feel better.   Mason:  (01:12:24) I love it, man. Guys, I do apologize we went rambling on, but I feel like it's been the best and talked, rambling about the four goals. We'll do another pod around cleansing procedures and medicated fats, as well. I think it's a good idea. This has got a little fire around having done so much work and seeing the fabric and the intent that goes into a lifestyle. I just like to hear a couple of real core pillar lifestyle things, superficial things that you're doing to maintain your health. Are you still on the mat practicing Brazilian jujitsu? Is that one of your core things still?   Wayne:  (01:13:03) Yeah, it's definitely a core thing. I've got a knee injury at the moment, so I haven't trained for about six weeks, which is very difficult because that's part of my mental health practice. That's what helps to keep my mind balanced and physiologically well. I mean, yeah. Things that I'm finding that are really working for me at the moment is maintaining a regular yoga practice in the morning, because I start my day well if I do that, and pranayama breathing techniques. I've been doing the Wim Hof breathing for probably the last nine months or so.   Wayne:  (01:13:42) I find it's quite an aggressive form of pranayama, but it really helps to reset your hormonal profiles. It's like it floods your system with adrenaline and then your body kind of resets and reprograms. It's a really good way for people to start getting back into or introducing them into the benefits of breathing. Yeah, good water, good air, and regular exercise. I think that's even more important than food. If there is stress, if there is cortisol, if you're under pressure, just using these traditional herbs and Ayurvedic medic

If I've only got an hour or less to share my most important advice on how to be safe, this is what I talk about: how can you avoid being in a dangerous situation in the first place, if you can't avoid it what can you do to avoid violence, and if push comes to shove and you must defend yourself physically how can you fight effectively. HIGHLIGHTS What’s your personal reason to survive? Where do you get hit first in an encounter? Preparation to help break out of a freeze Places to avoid What choosing safety means Understanding the mind of criminals The “gut instinct” How men and women deal with adrenaline Tactical apology Do you have to be you? If you have to defend yourself physically… Giving yourself permission The “human airbag” Tools and targets Closest weapon, closest target Thanks to Rory Miller and Tony Blauer for sharing many of these insights with me! LINKS: Born to Be a Badass Prep School Damsel in Defense Online Store Resources Born To Be A Badass Collective

What do you do when you're suffering? How do you escape patterns of blaming in your relationship, and find the place within you that can turn painful moments into growth, and transformation? And how do you know when you've experienced too much pain - when it's time to move on? This week, we’re having a return visit with Guy Finley, author of the new book Relationship Magic: Waking Up Together and the international bestseller The Secret of Letting Go. You’ll get to hear Guy’s work in action, as we tackle what’s real - when you’re hurting - and find practical ways to embody deep spiritual principles of healing when your heart is aching. If you’d like to listen to my first episode with Guy Finley, check out Episode 164 - How Love Can Dissolve Conflict As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Away has created durable suitcases for the savvy traveler, with key features that help you easily get your stuff from place to place. With a limited lifetime warranty, and a 100-day trial period, it’s easy for you to experience an Away suitcase “in the field”. Away is offering free shipping with guaranteed delivery by 12/20 if you order by 11:59pm on 12/15 if you visit awaytravel.com/relationship and use the promo code “RELATIONSHIP” at checkout. Our second sponsor today is Audible. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet and now, with Audible Originals, the selection has gotten even better with custom content made for members. As a special offer, Audible wants to give you a free 30-day trial - which includes 1 free audiobook and 2 free Audible originals. Go to Audible.com/relationship or text RELATIONSHIP to 500500 to get started. Resources: Visit the website for Guy Finley’s new book Relationship Magic for special bonus content Visit Guy Finley’s main website FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict… Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE) www.neilsattin.com/magic2 Visit to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Guy Finley. Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. Today we're fortunate to have return visit from a favorite guest from the past. His name is Guy Finley, and he is an internationally renowned spiritual teacher and the bestselling author of the book The Secret of Letting Go, as well as 45 other books and audio programs that have sold the whole world over. Neil Sattin: In our most recent conversation with Guy, we were discussing his book, Relationship Magic, which is subtitled Waking Up together, which is all about the ways that we continually come back to love in order to connect with our partner and how to get past the kinds of patterns that block us or hold us back when we're in relationship with our beloved. Neil Sattin: So today, we're going to dive deeper into relationship magic. And initially I was thinking that we might spend some time around the topic of how to make a fresh start, because that is so often the challenge in relationship where you are dealing not only with what is happening right in front of you in the moment, but with the history that you share with your partner, the history that you bring into the relationship and potentially the accumulation of hurts or transgressions or ways that you wish, you wish your partner were showing up for you or maybe you're feeling the weight of how you wish you were showing up for your partner, how your partner wishes you were showing up for them. There, I got it out. Neil Sattin: I'm also going to be candid with you that today my heart is a little hurting and aching. And so I think that all of this is going to come into the mix, and I'm really excited to have Guy with us today. If you are interested in a transcript of today's episode, you can visit neilsattin.com/magic2, that's the word magic, and the number 2, or as always you can text the word passion to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. And the reason why this episode is magic 2 is my first episode with Guy, our first episode together, was neilsattin.com/magic. So here we are to continue the conversation. Guy Finley, it's so great to have you here with me today. Guy Finley: Thank you, Neil, I'm happy to be with you too, I remember fondly our first conversation and I know we'll have a meaningful dialogue together, today. Neil Sattin: Yeah, I'm right there with you. I'm always excited when people want to come back and I'm super excited when it's after having had an amazing conversation like the first one that we had, so I definitely encourage you listening to go back and check that episode out. Yeah, and I'm curious, you were sitting there on the other end hearing my introduction and I have some thoughts about where I might like to start, and Guy, I'm wondering, is there something in particular that spoke to you as we started to dive into our conversation together? Guy Finley: Well, you know, we can look at and we will, I'm sure, specifics, but I think that one of the main points at least in our last conversation and as we'll recover and uncover again today, we all have a very distinct responsibility for how we feel. Our tendency is to be almost completely outwardly oriented, meaning that our sense of self is virtually in the hands of those that we are with, around or consider, and depending on the moment of that consideration, so goes the feeling we have of ourself, and I think that we have to marry this idea. I have a way of expressing it, Neil, and you might want to write this down, listeners, because it gives us a much broader view of our experience of relationships, not withstanding... How do I say this? Without diminishing the significance of individual ones. Guy Finley: Here it is. As goes my attention, so comes my experience. As goes my attention, so comes my experience. I'm sitting here in Southern Oregon, it's a fairly overcast fall day. The ground on my property is 100% covered with leaves. I know there is grass under it, but it's just a carpet of leaves and looking out the window and watching the birds and the leaves, and all that nature brings about, I give my attention to the beauty of this fall day, and my experience follows. My attention goes to a massive buck. It's the rut season here, and so these beautiful massive bucks are chasing the does, and I can feel in that buck this incredible natural strength, really power, and I'm lucky, forgive me if I wax on too long here, because I've hand raised like eight generation of deer here, not in the sense of being with them every single day, but most of them know me and I can hand feed them, so I'm able to be very close to these powerful creatures. Guy Finley: As goes, my attention, so comes my experience. Now, we get that when it comes to nature. That's why we like mountain vistas, ocean views, beautiful sunsets, colorful fall. Because the experience we have is inseparable from what we're attending to in the moment. You following me, Neil? Neil Sattin: Yes, of course. Guy Finley: So now, though, when it comes to our relationships, we have to make a little deeper connection, and that is that my attention goes on to something from my past, something I just lost, something that hurts, and I can't help but believe that there's no choice for me but to feel the things that I am, and here's the key, being given to feel by where attention has been taken. And in this instance, it's a very key idea. In nature, I give my attention to things that are beautiful because I love the experience of knowing the beauty within me that I can see outside of me. When it comes to our relationships with other human beings, whether it's a husband, a wife, someone on the street, whatever the case may be, that in those moments I have to understand, especially if I'm suffering, that my attention has been taken and placed on something that while it may have occurred is no longer occurring, it's literally in the past, and the experience that I'm being given because my attention goes onto something painful, sorrowful is because I don't recognize yet that I have a certain complicity with those kind of moments where my contentment seems to be taken from me, but in truth, I'm giving it away. Guy Finley: So I just want to get this broader picture in mind so that we understand that we are never powerless in the face of some painful moment in a relationship, but rather we don't understand where our true power lies, which is to possess our own attention and use the moments where our attention wants to be taken to change the kind of human being we are through that relationship in the moment, then as we change, everything about our life changes as well. Neil Sattin: There's so much to go from from what you were just saying. And on the show I often talk about the reality of how you feel in the moment and that there are ways that if you try to just kinda gloss over how you're feeling and what's coming up for you, that you could end up doing a lot of damage to your relationship. And this comes up more often than not, I think, when people are in a state of trigger, they're really angry, or really scared, and then they're trying to interact with each other from that place. But when you're operating from your fight-flight or your freeze place, it's rare that's something good can come of that. So I usually invite people to give attention to what is happening within them. Neil Sattin: And so as luck would have it, I'm taking in your words as goes my attention, so comes my experience and recognizing that my attention goes so clearly to this experience of my heart aching. And as you were describing the world outside your window there, I was gazing out my window here at the urban landscape that is right outside, and what I noticed more than anything is the quality of the autumn light, this really... Well, the words that are coming to me are where it's like stark, this stark yellow light, and I love the quality of that light, I always feel like the world looks so much more clear to me, and it is like a spotlight trained on the state of feeling that I'm experiencing in this moment. Guy Finley: Yeah, and we're going to unwrap all of this, because I like you, especially in the fall, and I don't know exactly why, maybe it's because the angle of the sun creates a different frequency or I don't know exactly what it is, but at certain times, it's almost, I don't know if there's such a word, rapturous, there's just such a unique feeling that one derives from that light. Now, taking pains to look at that, is the unique feeling in the light itself, or is the unique feeling a relationship between that light coming from the sun and the parts of myself in which it is reflecting. This is key. And the answer is, it's because it stirs in my consciousness a quality or a character that I would never know were it not for that moment of relationship and where my attention is in that same moment. Guy Finley: So we're building an understanding here that moments like those are so precious to us, if they are, because they are first awakening in us parts of our own consciousness that otherwise we don't have access to, so that the moment of that light is the same as the realization of a level of our own consciousness, that without the light, we can't experience, so we get that and we love it and we want to give our attention to that light, to that buck, to the leaves, whatever it may be, for what it seems to give to us in the same moment. Guy Finley: But now, listeners, Neil, let's turn it around. Let's say I'm faced, for whatever reason, not with the additional beauty, the extra fulfillment of something in myself by a relationship with nature around me. But let's flip it around and say suddenly, I seem to be filled with a sense of loss. I seem to be in a hole somewhere because I can't take my mind off of what someone did or didn't do, what he said, what she didn't follow through with, any of those conditions. And we have to understand, if we're willing to, is that it's the same principle in action. What the moment is bringing to me is a revelation of an aspect of my own consciousness in this instance that seems not to be fulfilled, but rather seems to be taken from me, something precious. Guy Finley: And this is where for me the rubber meets the road. If in fact a moment comes along, and I'm filled with whatever, anger, fear, anxiety, trepidation, a mixture of all of those things, my usual reaction is to look at the event that I hold responsible for the revelation. She didn't this, he did that. And when we look at the moment, the person, the problem as the reason for the revelation, we ignore the fact of what it is that's being revealed in us by that moment. So that I'm saying that these unwanted moments, as opposed to wanted ones, are every bit as valuable, if not more valuable, because those moments that we don't want are because something is being revealed in our consciousness that believes one way or another it is only as good and valuable and capable of contentment as is the condition outside of it responsible for its momentary appearance, which is why, by the way, we become so dependent, so attached, it never really dawns on us how this attachment grows. Guy Finley: And I'm not saying, Neil, you know I'm not, that we don't fall in love, that we don't have attachments. I've been married for 40 years and every, God only knows why, blue moon, somehow I have this dream that she's not the same person, that she's not as attentive or caring and I wake up in that dream from a certain kind of sorrow that doesn't exist without the dream, but I realize that the dream is in fact a revelation of a level of attachment that I'm not conscious of, so I'm not denigrating the relationship, I'm not even saying there's anything wrong, in quotes, with that attachment. What I am saying is that there's something far more right for me as a man, a human being, in realizing that where there is attachment, there is dependency; where there's dependency, there's inevitable sorrow and fear. Guy Finley: And to understand that doesn't take from us the richness of the loss of something. To me, it enriches the moment, because it allows me to tap into, become conscious of parts of myself that were it not for that moment I would never know the extent to which I am attached, dependent and therefore, back to the opening comment, therefore now I get it. My attention is going to the attachment, not to the beauty of what I may have had or do have, but to the fear of loss and primarily the fear of having lost myself because someone else did what they did. Guy Finley: And we can see that in scale in every relationship we have with life, not just with husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, relationship with money, relationship with health, all of these aspects of our consciousness that we have become unknowingly attached to and therefore demanding that they remain in place. So, that should something shift and suddenly we don't know who we are anymore, I would argue, even as painful as it may be, that that's a very special kind of revelation, serving a very special kind of realization that without it, we would never know the extent of where we have handed over our life to something outside of us. I'll stop there. Neil Sattin: Okay, so I feel like, yeah, I feel like you're getting to... You're teasing my next question, in a way, because... Guy Finley: Sure. Neil Sattin: And as you were talking about attachment in particular, it wasn't lost on me that your big book is called The Secret of Letting Go, so I was thinking about, like, okay, yeah, I think I think I have a sense of where we're headed here, but I... I wonder, yeah, I wonder what the next step is. And there are actually two little pictures that are unfurling from this particular moment for me. One is being, let's say, the person who's feeling the heartache or feeling the result of the attachment, feeling the anger, the fear, the shame, the injustice... Guy Finley: Betrayal? Neil Sattin: All of that, yes. One question is like, great, this is being revealed to me, what do I do? So that's question number one. Question number two in particular relates to relationship, because I do believe that there are some experiences that you just can't have without being in relation to something, and that's why it's important to not feel like you have to work out all your stuff before you get into a relationship with someone, 'cause no matter what, they're going to stir things up in you and there are things you can't quote unquote fix until you are faced with them in relationship. However, what if you're in relationship and you're in a practice of realization around all these challenging states of feeling and consciousness, but your partner that isn't operating from that place, so the more that you lean into the realization of the reality of what's happening in that moment, your partner leans more into wanting you to fix, wanting you to change, wanting you to be other than who you actually are, because they're convinced that you need to change something in order to fix their experience. Neil Sattin: So they're too connected but somewhat divergent questions. Where do you feel inspired to dive in first? Guy Finley: I want to be very clear. When we fall in love, we have a passion, we fall in love and have that passion for someone or something. Because at the onset of that relationship, we are privileged through that person or that condition to go through what that relationship alone awakens in us because of the unique elements that have converged in that relationship. To this day, my wife has a certain smile, if you just say the word TJ Max around here, I swear to God, and I'm very conservative, I could wear the same clothes for 50 years and if they didn't fall off my back, I would still be doing it. That's just what she just... She loves fashion, she is a spiritual woman, but she just loves fashion. So even though I wish that she didn't, it tickles me when I see her smile. I know before she's even going out where she's going 'cause there's a gleam in her eye. Guy Finley: So I would never know were it not for that quirky part of my wife that little quirky feeling. But now we have to turn it around, because to the same extent that I am introduced and fulfilled made a hole in a way, because what is she showing me in those moments other than something I don't know about myself and can't feel without her? The converse holds true, Neil. I can't know there are parts of me that are selfish, that can't listen, that are impatient, that want to be left alone. I can't know those parts of me without her, without relationship with something. And where my work is, I think, quite different from most others is that I say that we must learn to first understand the significance of those revelations that are so unwanted and, rather than continue to blame the relationship, the person or the predicament for the pain inherent in realizing these are parts of my consciousness that I am asleep to, to be thankful for being awakened. Guy Finley: Because the same integration that takes place when she awakens in me a wish to sacrifice, a willingness to go past myself and put her first, that same gratitude must appear when I am integrated, awakened to those parts of myself that I would avoid at all costs if I could were it not for love that uses my wife to awaken me to these limitations, and that uses me for my wife to awaken her to her limitations to serve a greater love than either of us can know without each other, whether high or low, light or dark, all serving a greater relationship, that love puts human beings together for. So that through those revelations, wanted and not, the man or woman can begin to become an integrated being, no longer living in unseen conflict with parts of him or herself, because the image that he has of himself or herself won't allow the fact of these aspects of limitation in our consciousness, so that that level of consciousness buries these things, but a stone under the ground weighs as much as one above, so that those moments are invitations, Neil, as painful as they are, to realize that there's no way any relationship can go forward as long as there is attachment and dependency that forms the seed of limitation, so that without these limitations revealed by my partner or by my partner leaving me or my partner hurting me, whatever my partner may have done, that moment is the revelation of a limitation in me. Guy Finley: It's not their limitation and even if it is, I must still thank them. I don't mean to jump way off-board here, but this is the interior meaning of what Christ meant by love thine enemies. Because in those moments, without my wife, my husband, the guy on the street, the person tailgating me, the financial thieves that are breaking the country, without all of that taking place, I would never know the enmity, the violence, the anger, all of the things that so conveniently blame people and places and situations outside of me, so that those characteristics can continue living in the dark of our consciousness, not my consciousness, not Neil's consciousness, not my wife's consciousness, in consciousness that we are the instruments of and that are intended to be developed by the action of love revealing to us what only love can, high and low, light and dark. Neil Sattin: Can I make this a little more personal? Guy Finley: Anything, Neil, you know that, man. Neil Sattin: Okay, let's just start with something that doesn't have say a lot of charge to it. So often I use the dishes, but let's forgo the dishes. Let's talk about the laundry. And I'm wondering like what if, hypothetically speaking, Guy, let's say you are someone who habitually takes off your clothes and you just kinda drop them wherever. It could be the bedroom floor, it could be the bathroom, could be the living room. It's wherever they... And they end up kind of all about. And your wife, with whom you've been for 40 years, comes in and says to you, you're blissfully working on your next book, and she says, "Guy, I can't handle this anymore. Your clothes are everywhere, you're so lazy. We've talked about this at least once a month for the past 40 years. Is it going to be another 40 years of us having this same conversation about your goddamn clothes being all over the place? I can't even think straight." Guy Finley: Oh, and we know that happens, don't we? Neil Sattin: Of course. Guy Finley: Maybe it's not the laundry, maybe it's not the dishes that you think someone else will clean up for you. It could be anything, the way you park the car in the garage. Neil Sattin: Right. Or it could be something more serious, like I can't believe you slept with that person three years ago, right? I'm still feeling about that. How could you go? How will I ever trust you again? Guy Finley: Of course. Of course. And so the question is, what does one do in those moments as the one offended or the one being offended, as the offender or the one being offended? Neil Sattin: Well, it's debatable which is which in that circumstance, it's debatable, but... Guy Finley: Because we have to ask a pretty big question here, what's the difference between the two? In this instance, let's just say that, let's say, I do throw my clothes around... Neil Sattin: Right, and just so you know, listening, I can see Guy's living room and there are no clothes anywhere. So this was strictly hypothetical. Guy Finley: Of course, but even if they were and my wife had asked me innumerable times to clean them up, then I cannot blame her, she wants order, not chaos. And if I don't honor my wife's wish, then I have to understand that she and I have a major difference. She's asked me first nicely, she's become upset over it, and yet there's something in me that just will not do what it is she needs done. You're not asking me to lose 50 pounds, she's saying, "Take your laundry and put it away." So there's an irreconcilable difference, Neil, her character and my character have something that is in conflict with each other. If I don't change she will, because she can't help herself, I might add. See, this goes to something so much deeper. I know everybody wants it simple. Can I get upset? I'll turn it around. Can my wife get upset with me in a manner that... Would you agree that if someone loses their temper with you because you have a sock on the floor that that would be called a tempest in a teapot? Neil Sattin: Yeah, maybe there's some context that makes it less of a teapot. Like, for instance, 40 years of having had the same conversation over and over again but... Guy Finley: I understand, but that's the definition of insanity, isn't it? Neil Sattin: Perhaps. I mean, I think... Guy Finley: No, it is. I insist, I insist, I insist. So here's a force in one direction meeting a force in another direction, and it's not moving. So that is the insanity. See, here's what we don't want to get into, Neil. If I've asked my wife 50 times over 30 years not to do something and she keeps doing it, then at some point I have to recognize that the pain that appears in those moments is not going to go away by making her into what I need her to be, so at that point I either understand that's how she is and it's a small battle, it's very small in the scheme of things. But now to my point, something in me wants to make it moment, huge and there's what I'm getting at it. It never dawns on any of us, for the most part, that no one picks a fight with anyone else unless prior to the fight they pick they are in pain. It's a section in my book, pain picks the fight, not the person, so that here's something in my wife rubbed raw over 40 years that she is unable to reconcile and let go of the fact that this is just part of a character, I love him more than I care about his socks. Guy Finley: But pain, my attention goes to the context of the condition, which is I've asked him for 100 years, he won't change. Instead of realizing that what's not changing in that moment is me, I'm the one who won't let go of the insistence that he be jumping through the hoop I want him to jump through about socks. What's more important, his socks and underwear, or that I have something in me that gets set on fire when I see it, because if we can learn to ask the important questions, "What in God's name is this pain I'm in over some peculiar aspect of my partner, that I've asked kindly, I've lost my temper, I've threatened to leave, but it doesn't change." So either get up and walk out or walk away from those parts of yourself that are captured by that conflict every time the context reappears in your mind. Guy Finley: So that's the first thing, Neil, when my wife, God bless her, and I don't know if I've ever told you this, we've never raised our voices at each other in 40 years. But it doesn't mean that over 40 years, she hasn't said unkind things, but for whatever reason, by the grace of the work that I've done, I never react to unkindness with unkindness, I use her unkindness to allow whatever is kicked up inside of me to show me whether or not there's something factual in her unkind statement, because we can't tell the difference. Guy Finley: Because when somebody attacks us, all we see and feel is the attack, instead of realizing there may be something in us producing the pain they're experiencing and that we need to deal with in ourselves. But if my first reaction is rejection, I'm not just rejecting my wife, I'm rejecting the revelation that's necessary and that if I could see it she might change herself as well. So what I do is, when she has said something unkind, is I never bring it up. I wait, sometimes two days, I wait until she's no longer in that consciousness, and then I will simply say to her, "Sweetie, do you remember we were walking down the driveway and you brought up that thing? I just want you to know that there's no value in bringing that up. It hurt. I'll deal with what I can, but to bring it up, it's just useless." Guy Finley: And then because she is the kind of woman she is, she will not react to that or on the spot she'll say, "You know what, I knew it when I said it, and I'm sorry." And then it's not I'm sorry because you got mad at me; I'm sorry, because you allow me to see something in myself that I could have never seen if you just rejected and resisted the comment. And then love is doing what love is meant to do, which is develop the two people that love has brought together into a better representation of what love is. So I hope that clarifies some of what you asked, but I'm going to deal with something you didn't ask, if you'd like. Neil Sattin: Yeah, go for it. Guy Finley: What in God's name do I do with this pain? How do I go forward from here, what's going to happen? I feel like my heart was stolen out of my chest and the only one that I can look at and, in essence, blame and feel betrayed by is the person, my husband, my wife, my business partner who stole from our business that we started, as best friends. I mean, God, Neil, life is nothing but an endless series, a success of conditions where we find ourselves with our mouth open wide going, "What?" You know what I mean, "What?" Neil Sattin: Totally. How did I get here? Guy Finley: Yeah. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Guy Finley: And the answer is the last answer we want, but the only answer that brings an end to the unconscious continuation of the pain. Someone says something, it hurts. Someone steals from me, someone betrays me, it's heartbreaking. I gave this person 30 years of my life, I did everything I knew how to do to be the best, most complying person I could so that this person could grow, and then they turn around and there's the... They're bad talking me or worse, they steal. The pain is undeniable. I feel like I'm dying. No human being doesn't go through that. And this will really throw you, and the luckiest of us go through that death more times than we want. And the reason I say the lucky of us go through that, though I would that the cup would pass from my lips, I don't want to drink from that cup. It's bitter, has no future. Everything that seems to have been built has been destroyed. But the moment where it feels like I'm dying is in fact a moment where something in me is intended to die, not go on as the one who is betrayed, full of bitterness, ever wondering why, thinking someday I'll get even or he or she will come back and then they'll see how wrong they were. Guy Finley: Oh, my God, the story is endless 'cause all of us are an expression of a consciousness living it, but to understand and then to quietly sit back within oneself and let what the moment has come to do be done, because then the man or woman who exits that moment, where some idea they had about themselves, some image, an attachment, a plan, a dream, when the whole thing just goes belly up, we look at the condition, and we say, "That's what went belly up. No, that's not what went belly up. What died was a part of myself that I was so identified with that when the conditions no longer are in place to perpetuate the dream I feel like it's me that has died and it's not I who have died, but a dream a the dream and the dreamer." Guy Finley: And there, I sit stark naked, quite literally, in the present moment, with what seems like nothing, because my attention only knows how to be given unconsciously to something that if I had my choice, I wouldn't give my attention to it, but I am drawn like a moth to the flame to feel these unwanted feelings instead of recognizing, sweet God, what is it in me that keeps going and revisiting a feeling that I don't want? And then out of the unwanted feeling building a dream or a plan or some future where momentarily I'm consoled, when I'm not meant to be consoled by that moment, I'm meant to be changed through it. Guy Finley: That's called conscious suffering, not unconscious useless suffering. And if I can understand the difference in it, it's impossible that when I am called to return to that pain, revisit, think about, re-live, I don't re anything, I allow the moment to show me, I don't know who I am without somebody else, I don't know who I am without that plan that was so intimately connected to your presence and your participation and now you're gone. God, the whole thing's come undone, I'm probably going to lose everything now, because that's how deeply involved that dream is. It goes on without a person knowing it, and then instead of being thankful, which I know is hard to do, Neil, please don't misunderstand me. Nobody says, oh, at least not for the longest time, but I promise you, one day, it's true, even in the midst of the pain. Thank you, Father, thank you, God, thank you, the divine, for delivering me into a moment that I could have never even known I needed to be delivered into, let alone what I will be delivered from that I didn't know I needed to be delivered from, attachment, dependency, enabling, trying to keep everything in place, not so that the relationship stayed in place, but so that my person who I'm familiar with, isn't suddenly thrown out into a prison some place. Guy Finley: This is a completely different context for our consciousness, Neil. I know you can hear and feel what I'm saying, but this is what we have to get to if we want to use these moments that come where we reject them instantaneously, and instead of rejecting them, understanding in that moment, the suffering isn't in the condition, it's in my attachment to a part of myself I didn't know was there and that I'm going to be much better off without once it's allowed to pass, to die. Neil Sattin: And do you have some helpful hints about how to engage in that process? The concept makes sense to me. In what you were saying I was hearing the literal question of, "What is this pain pointing to in me that needs to die, that I need to let go of." And I'm just wondering, yeah, if there's a process there that you find helpful to help people engage in that, 'cause it can be so easy to get kind of a quick answer to that question. And then... Guy Finley: Yeah, yeah, and then the moment comes... Yeah, I understand and that's wonderful, Neil, that's quite insightful, because the last thing that I want to do is paint this as a rosy picture when we're in some kind of pain, because our partner has gone left instead of right or maybe just disappeared. So I do not want to make light at all of what is essentially a kind of a mini dark night of the soul. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Guy Finley: But the question, what do I do with this pain, how do I process it, begs without the person asking the question, begs the question, well, I, therefore, must be different than this process. I must be something other than the pain in this moment. And that which is other than the pain in this moment wants to know what to do with the pain, so it can get past the pain in the moment, and no such thing exists. A person who has cancer, a person who's an addict, at some point comes to grips with the fact, this is what is. I am not empowered to change the pain of the revelation, the revelation has in it its own clarity about a set of conditions that one way or another have come to teach me something about myself. I haven't been thrown into this moment, I've been sown into it, and until I can find a greater purpose, which is what we're talking about, the whole of my work, then everything that I do to escape the pain, process it so seemingly I'm outside of it and better than that, is the waste of the appearance of that pain. Guy Finley: You don't deny a toothache. Well, we do, don't we? I mean, that's there, right? I had a terrible toothache myself two weeks ago, it was unbelievable, out of the clear blue sky. And nothing in me wants to admit that this is the pain that usually leads up to a root canal. So what do we do when we have that kind of pain? We pretty much hope it goes away. Neil Sattin: Exactly. Guy Finley: And if you've ever had an impacted tooth and hoped the pain would go away, the truth is that sometimes it will go away, but the problem behind the impaction doesn't, so it becomes infected. And the next thing you know you've got something three times worse than what you had had you dealt with it on the spot, you understand the metaphor. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Guy Finley: The analogy. Same thing with this pain, Neil. Neil Sattin: So yeah, a couple of different things coming up for me. One is, I'm sitting with what you said about being sown into it not being thrown into it, that idea that this actually is me right now, in this moment. Guy Finley: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. And listen to me, please, everybody, because in those moments when my heart has been plucked out of my chest or what I was depending on for the success of my business or whatever the venter was that it looked like everything was roses and suddenly I'm pierced by thorns, I have no future, it's been robbed. And the task here is to understand that who and what you actually are doesn't depend upon something you've imagined in the future that you don't even know you're dependent on. We have no idea the extent of the dependency, unconscious dependency, that grows over time through familiar relationships, where we begin gradually to depend upon the person to act out and to be what we are dependent on them acting and being. Because if they don't do it, they break the pattern. Guy Finley: And if they break the pattern then is the pain that I feel in the break of the pattern, or is the pain in my dependency on the pattern? And if my pain is on the dependency of the pattern, why in the name of God do I want to create another one? I should be grateful because love has no pattern. That's called familiarity that breeds contempt, although we don't know it breeds contempt until someone breaks the pattern and then the resentment and the contempt sitting underneath it born of dependency rears its ugly head. And instead of seeing our complicity with that enabling dependency, we blame our partner. Instead of saying thank you, I don't know how, what I'm going to do, but I sure understand that there is something for me to learn in this moment instead of burn over, and by God, I'll do what I have to do to get the lesson in the moment instead of reject it in the hope of a moment that comes along where the pain isn't there with me. Neil Sattin: So I have a bit of a curve ball question for you in this moment. Guy Finley: No such thing, Neil. Neil Sattin: Right, it's all part of the same fabric. And I'm wondering, Guy, for you, how would you decide if you were in too much pain in a particular, like if a relationship that you were experiencing, whether it was a relationship to the weather, the conditions, the person in your life, how would you decide if the pain of relationship with that person was too much for you? In other words, where, because no matter what, when you leave a relationship, that creates pain, so you get to decide if you want the grief associated with staying or the grief associated with going. And I'm just curious for you, I think there's potentially a danger, particularly for people who are in really problematic situations, of feeling like, "Wait, is Guy Finley saying I should just be thankful for this pain and stay where I am and that I shouldn't... " Guy Finley: Okay, yeah, I got it. I'm glad you asked. I go to great pains in my book to absolutely make the point if you're in an abusive relationship, and let me be clear, your husband leaving his socks on the floor is not abuse, but your husband raising his fist at you because you tell him again please pick up your socks and you're in fear of your husband, get out of that relationship, you're not here to be abused by anybody. The strange thing is that we abuse ourselves. If my wife loses her temper every other week because X, Y, Z and blames me for losing her temper and I've done nothing other than just whatever it is that I am. Who's abusing who? We never want to see how abusive we are to ourselves, by trying to make someone into something they will never be. That is self-abuse, insisting that any other human being be what you need or want them to be is self-abuse. On the other hand, if they're trying to do that to you and are aggressive, consistently cruel verbally, involved in some pattern of a behavior, drugs, alcohol, anything excessive that way, and you stay in the relationship, you are self-abusive, and you have two people abusing each other, enabling each other and blaming the other for their pain. Does that answer your question? Neil Sattin: Yeah, I think what I'm hearing is there are flavors of abuse that are maybe more obvious physical violence, and then there's maybe a gray zone where it's 'cause... And I'm just calling it a gray zone because I think people are often a little unclear on emotional violence, emotional abuse, but everyone who's listening to us... Guy Finley: You and I both know there are people who are in emotionally abusive relationships. Neil Sattin: Yes. Guy Finley: Why does anyone stay in an emotionally abusive relationship, especially if they have said, "You know what, every time you raise your voice like that, I don't know what to do with myself, it hurts. Please, please don't do that." And then the partner does not acknowledge, let alone attempt to act on the wish. Here is the root of it. We stay in emotionally abusive relationships because it's better to have someone to blame than to be without somebody to blame. I don't know who I am without resenting you. I don't know who I am without hoping, knowing it's futile, that you're going to change. I don't know who I am without coming home and hoping to God that you're not in that particular state of mind when I know that 9 out of 10 times you will be, and that there'll be that tension and that it doesn't get resolved. I don't know who to be because rather than go through what life is asking me to do, which is to rediscover, reclaim my own integrity, see through the co-enabling parts of myself, that I might enter into a relationship that starts healthy instead of keep an unhealthy one alive 'cause I don't want to be without it, I'd rather stay with what I have. Guy Finley: And I'm going to make a giant leap here, Neil, that same mind is the same mind that revisits the loss. Rather than be alone, be by myself with this emptiness, I would rather revisit feeling victimized, revisit what will no longer be. This is where grief, natural grief turns into self-love. My wife dies, my child passes, a beloved friend dies. If I don't grieve I'm not a human being, but grief is the revelation of a certain limited kind of love that invites me to see that because the person's gone doesn't mean love is. Love can't die. So, when I revisit the grief and revisit the grief, it's not 'cause I'm revisiting a love lost, I'm revisiting a part of myself that loves to feel what it does, and would rather feel that pain than be a person who moves on and discovers there's another order of love possible in that very moment. So it's in scale. Guy Finley: And I hope I didn't lose anybody, but that's why we stay in relationships not just with people but with our own problems, our own pains, because we don't know who to be without that dependency on something through which we derive an identity, as painful as it may be. Neil Sattin: So maybe... This might be our last question for today. Not because we couldn't keep going, 'cause... Guy Finley: I understand, Neil. Neil Sattin: We could keep going for sure. And Guy, I'm so appreciative of just who you are and the openheartedness that you bring to these questions. What's illuminated for me in this moment is wondering about the fear that keeps people in place. Guy Finley: Yes. So let's write this... Go ahead, please, I'm sorry. Neil Sattin: Yeah, so it feels like that's the last piece of this puzzle where we've landed today has been around this question of what do you do with the pain, what do you do with an aching heart? What do you do when there's when there's... And how do you know if there's too much pain? And what do you do when you're weighing the choice to stay or go? Which is this what I'm hearing you say is it's often centered around, do I choose what I know myself to be, which is who I am in relation to this situation, or do I choose the unknown along with the way that a choice to leave often impacts our family, our children, our friends, there are ripples to that kind of decision. Guy Finley: Of course. Neil Sattin: Yeah, so when faced with that, what do you do? Guy Finley: It's probably uncountable how many relationships there are on this planet that have become stale, stagnant and that basically trundle on from day to day because one or the other, and it's usually both, has just stopped growing. And we're all masters at blaming our partner for being the one who doesn't grow, because we can so easily identify in them the limitations that we're aware of in them, never dawning on us that judging a limitation in our partner and holding their feet to the fire for it is our limitation. Guy Finley: So that the question is really underneath all of this, do I want to grow as a human being? Because honestly, Neil, we either grow or we die. We begin dying as human beings most of us in our 20s because we're so habituated to some status quo, where out of the fear of loss, of negativity, of meeting parts of ourselves, we compromise with everyone and everything, just so that the boat doesn't rock, and we wind up in a reality that's a dream and that anything that shakes the dream is seen as a nightmare, when the real nightmare is the dream we're in because it's keeping us from growing. So we reach a point where we need to understand that the real dissatisfaction in this instance, say, with our partner, whether they've stayed with us or left us, is because there's something in me that is offered in that relationship, a chance to grow beyond who and what I've been. Guy Finley: Now in relationships that are intact, those moments come when I'm willing to understand that my partner may be in pain and that's why they made that punitive remark, and rather than responding in unkindness, fighting as we do tit for tat, I use that moment to discover in myself something that believes it's beyond question. You can't ask me something like that. Your opinion doesn't count, only mine. And then when we see that in ourselves, the very revelation is the beginning of its transformation, 'cause now I know something about my own consciousness I didn't before. I am growing. And whether my partner wants to grow or not, that's not the issue, because if I continue to grow, I will reach a point where I have outgrown my partner and there will be no question about it. Guy Finley: Not that it won't be painful. So let's say I've reached the point where I've outgrown my partner or my partner's left me for whatever reason, and then I'm sitting there and I'm going, "Well, now what's going to happen?" I'm afraid, and I'm afraid because I don't know what's coming literally in the next moment, other than some terrible thought I wish I didn't have, so when it comes to the fear of the future, let's be clear about that, everybody. Again, the context, do I want to grow or not? There is no fear of the future, Neil, without negative imagination, period. There is no fear of the future without negative imagination. Guy Finley: So now where's the responsibility for the fear? In the person that left me, in the great unknown that sits before me, or is the unknown that just before me, my demand that I know what's coming so that I know who I am and how to handle it. And when we start having this kind of understanding, she betrayed me. He stole from me. What's going to happen, what am I to do? And then you realize that to take thought in that moment about what's going to happen to you downstream is the same as going into another dream that is just a continuation of that consciousness, instead of the end of a relationship with that consciousness, because now it's very clear to you, the task here isn't to go into thought, the task is to remain as present as I can to everything that I see and feel in myself. Guy Finley: And then don't ask, well, where is the limit? How much pain can I take? You'll know. The body shuts itself down. Literally, a person who will really attend to themselves in these heightened moments will likely fall asleep, because the resistance is so great, but you will have gained that much strength in understanding by going through that exercise. So if we will be true to ourselves as best we know how to be true to ourselves, given a new understanding of what it means to be true to ourselves, then we cannot fail. Every effort that we make along the lines of understanding that we mustn't take thought to end torment, because thought itself is the source of the torment, but rather we must become aware of thought, of the thinker, of the planner, of the one imagining, of the one afraid, and every bit of light we bring into that darkness, that darkness is changed in some commensurate level. That's a law. And as the darkness is brought into that light, that's the same as integrating ourselves and that's the purpose of love. Guy Finley: And we know what to do with our relationships, even when we don't really know what to do when they throw us the curve, 'cause we don't go running out trying to find another ball game, another place to play. We use what's given to us as it's given to us, and then discover for ourselves the purpose of what was given to us, and then everything's quite perfect for us in that moment, even though there's pain. Neil Sattin: Yeah, I think the phrase that comes up for me that I'm extracting from what you said was, well, a couple of things. One is a commitment to growth and faith even in a... Yeah, okay, I'm in pain, and I believe in my capacity to grow, to change, to shift, and even if I'm not growing the way that my partner wanted me to grow, I still am having faith in my ability to grow in this moment. Guy Finley: Neil, your partner didn't put you on this planet. God did. I'd rather have the divine plan then be delivered into the hands of my partner and his or her plan, believe me, or for that matter, my own plan 'cause that's where most of the fear is. Neil Sattin: Yeah, do you have a moment for one more question, Guy, before we go? Guy Finley: Sure, go ahead, Neil. Neil Sattin: What do you think has kept you in your relationship for 40 years instead of at some point deciding that it was time to go for a new adventure? Guy Finley: Honestly, I don't think I can answer it. It could be argued, I think, Neil, that every relationship that we enter into is for the length of that relationship manifested for the purpose of the development of our soul, and that at some point when we are sufficiently developed, which we are not the ones who decide that, please, we will enter into more abiding relationships, because the capacity to act as a conscious mirror of our partner and vice versa, has reached a point where we understand that this is perfect for us, I couldn't imagine another partner, and I know she couldn't either, but I didn't create that, she didn't create that, but we both agreed to go through those consciousness-shaking conditions, both individually and collectively, that bring about what you intimated a moment ago, which is not just the all-abiding wish and intention to grow as a human being, but a faith that life creates the conditions for that growth through our relationships, so that the faith in the goodness of life, the understanding that love is in fact the basis of relationship allows us to work and remain as present as we can to the conditions where we discover that love in fact was behind that moment, wanted or not. Guy Finley: Then you enter into a completely different relationship with life and your partner is obviously a big part of it. But now, everything serves that purpose, Neil, everything, literally everything. In the East, they call it polishing the mirror, and the more the mirror is polished, the more perfectly it reflects the world, until one day, and heck of a place to end this interview, but then, one day you realize the world that you're looking at is not out there, the universe is in you, literally, your partner is in you, everything is in you. I don't know how it happens, but that's the case, that's the only way we know what we know and feel and experience about what we see because, really, we're just seeing aspects of our own consciousness, and that's when a person begins to be grateful for everything they see, because everything is revelation, everything, every revelation is a form of integration, and it's endless. That's the majesty of God, that's the majesty of the divine. Neil Sattin: Well, that is quite a place to end our conversation. Guy Finley: I told you. Maybe we'll have another conversation in six months and we can pick up there, huh? Guy Finley: I think so, because just like the last one, I think there's so much meat here for us to work with. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to digesting this conversation. And for the vegetarians there's a lot of tofu here to toss around and... Yeah, and I think I'm going to be so curious to hear how this impacts you as a listener, because we dove deep into this topic that I think is what brings so many of us here to this podcast. I hope that at least to some level, people are here because they're in a good situation and they want to make it better, and being honest, I think a lot of people come here because things could, they want things to be better in some way. So... Guy Finley: I have one closing comment. Neil Sattin: Go for it. Guy Finley: It isn't... We cannot explore our strength without exploring our weakness and when we understand that they are not separate issues, then we're very close to not being afraid of ourselves anymore. That's it. Neil Sattin: Yeah. So as you're polishing the mirror, be looking in the mirror, 'cause there's lots to be revealed. Guy Finley: Absolutely, and if I may, can I tell people where they might, if they're interested, get the Relationship book? Neil Sattin: Of course, yes. Guy Finley: If you want to look at these ideas, please visit relationshipmagicbook.com, one word, relationshipmagicbook.com, and my foundation has put up a very special offer on a page there where you can get the free audible version of the book that I've read as well for the same inexpensive price. So relationshipmagicbook.com, and if you want to visit my website, it's guyfinley.org, GUYFINLEY.org, you can visit that site and literally stay there for years, free. There's a wisdom school there, where men and women from all over the world gather every week online. You can learn about that. It's incredibly inexpensive, less than the cost of a Starbuck. And lastly, if you want... I've just begun, God help me, I'm on Twitter, I post daily Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. So if you want to find out anything more about it, Google. Google Guy Finley. But I've given you some good places to start. Neil Sattin: Awesome. And we will have links to all of that in the show notes and transcript, which as a reminder, if you want to grab, you can visit neilsattin.com/magic2, that's the word magic and the number 2, or you can text the word passion to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. Guy, I'm so appreciative of your time, your wisdom, your heart and your friendship, and thank you so much for being here with us today. I'm looking forward to a future conversation and I'm also just so appreciative of your contribution to the world, so powerful. Guy Finley: Thank you, Neil, thank you so much. 

We interviewed Milos Ribic, Director at Adidas Ventures. Being on the frontline of innovation, Adidas launching shoes into space, introducing recyclable materials, and so much more. We asked Milos about trends and challenges of the sportswear industry, opportunities for the startups, and where Adidas will be in 30 years. Questions covered in the podcast: How the startup can approach the Adidas Ventures ecosystem? If the startup is doing product innovation, where should they go? What about digital solutions? Where do I go If I've built the most engaging app for Generation Z? What are you looking for in startups? What's in it for startups? Do startups get a chance to bring the product to the consumer faster? The nature of your work as a Corporate VC: what are the success criteria, and what are the biggest challenges? What are the technologies looking like the most promising in the sports industry? Do you see any development of digital goods for sports brands? What is the most radical innovation you've stumbled upon recently in your industry that you think will work? If you would give, let's say 20-30-year shot, what do you think the company will stand for? To read the full interview go to Koalition Blog Check out my Youtube channel to find more videos about tech and global trends. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/getfundedshow/message

This episode of the Couch Riffs Podcast features guest Dallas Seger of Seger Guitars out of Bangor, Maine. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times, "The Seger YG model has the sickest carve you will find anywhere". I'll stand by that, too. Go check out his beautiful guitars online and on instagram and any chance you have to play one, take it. If you're enjoying the Couch Riffs Podcast please go to our website to find all of our video and podcast episodes as well as a link to our Etsy store where you can pick up t-shirt, hoodies, and trucker caps. And, please leave a 5-Star Rating and a positive review if you're feeling inspired and supportive. If you've really got the spirit of giving in you please visit anchor.fm/couch-riffs and you can support Couch Riffs with a pledge of as little as .99/mo which makes a HUGE difference in the progress and development of Couch Riffs. Thanks again for listening! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/couch-riffs/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/couch-riffs/support

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent="no" equal_height_columns="no" menu_anchor="" hide_on_mobile="small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility" class="" id="" background_color="" background_image="" background_position="center center" background_repeat="no-repeat" fade="no" background_parallax="none" parallax_speed="0.3" video_mp4="" video_webm="" video_ogv="" video_url="" video_aspect_ratio="16:9" video_loop="yes" video_mute="yes" overlay_color="" video_preview_image="" border_size="" border_color="" border_style="solid" padding_top="" padding_bottom="" padding_left="" padding_right=""][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type="1_1" layout="1_1" background_position="left top" background_color="" border_size="" border_color="" border_style="solid" border_position="all" spacing="yes" background_image="" background_repeat="no-repeat" padding_top="" padding_right="" padding_bottom="" padding_left="" margin_top="0px" margin_bottom="0px" class="" id="" animation_type="" animation_speed="0.3" animation_direction="left" hide_on_mobile="small-visibility,medium-visibility,large-visibility" center_content="no" last="no" min_height="" hover_type="none" link=""][fusion_text][/fusion_text][fusion_text]  Transcription (was completed by automated process.  Please ignore any speech-to-text errors) [00:00:01] Hi. How are you? [00:00:03] I'm good. [00:00:05] Great. Well, I'm so excited about today. To all of you out there listening, this is Danny Thomas again. And I'm super excited to be here on our next version of Sellers Calling You a Beatty. Michael. As you all know, Beatty is the CEO of Master Grabber and the creator, Agent Dominator, one of our top marketing experts in the real estate field. Beatty, I'm excited. What are we talking about today? [00:00:30] Well, today on this radical faith call, which obviously has nothing to do with the real estate marketing, we're gonna be talking about the topic of God's timing versus man's timing. Have you ever had those experiences in your life anywhere? Maybe God had indicated something was going to happen and it just keeps taking longer and longer and longer. It hasn't happened. Or, you know, you're seeking the Lord in prayer and asking for some sort of answer and or an outcome. And it just doesn't seem to happen quite as quickly as you want. [00:01:09] Ever had that goodness? Probably more times than I care to admit to. [00:01:17] And I got frustrated one day, I'm sure, probably many days. And I said, what in the world is going on? Right. God. Until I made this. And yet, where is it? Like Abraham or back when he was Abraham, God said, you're gonna have a son, Abraham. And you're going to have descendants like the stars of heaven. You know how long it took for Abraham to get that promise? [00:01:42] A very long time, 25 years. [00:01:49] And yet he never wavered on something that Lord hit me. I'm reading through Hebrews and he's talking about the men of faith. And one things that says that Abraham believe God for the promise and therefore he was willing to offer up his son, Isaac. And it hit me what that was really all about. I always thought that connection. And this has nothing to do with guys timing, but it kind of ties into it. And it dawned on me, faces in the amplified Bible says Faith is the title deeds of things we do not see yet. And so I was thinking was Abraham, you know, he has this title. The title Deeds says, through Isaac, all of these descendants are coming. And therefore, Abraham had no qualms about sacrificing his son because he knew the promise was good. The title, they would say, was solid and therefore nothing could sort that promise from coming true. So God, if you want me, I offer up Isaac. No big deal because I know something's going to happen because you can't fulfill your promise except through Isaac and therefore it's all temporary. I just thought that was kind of a cool understanding. [00:03:15] Yeah. Yeah. [00:03:17] So let's get into this whole topic of God's timing versus man's timing and where I think the problems come from. If I were to ask a couple of questions, kind of setting this up, the questions I would want to ask are going to be things like why does God delay in answering our prayers that are clearly according to his will? [00:03:45] And I think it's in James that if you pray according to his will, we know that he hears us. And if we know he hears that, we know that we will receive that for which we are familiar with that passage. [00:03:58] Okay. So we're asking clearly, according to God's will. Here's something that comes up a lot of times, especially for parents. Lord, I know it's your will for my child to have a personal saving relationship with you and you pray for that child. He or she is now 20, 25 and 30. And 35 and 40. And 45 and 45 and 50. Okay. And your keep do you keep praying? [00:04:24] And why isn't God answering that? Or maybe another question. Sometimes we act on God's promises and yet we don't see the results we feel we should have. I think Abraham was perfect. Just kind of a case study on that. He's living by faith. And yet where is this child? And then he has his child, Isaac, and he's living by faith. And now God says to sacrifice him. [00:04:50] And it seems like what God has promised and the fulfillment. [00:04:58] Something's missing in that. Gradient, does that make sense? [00:05:02] Yeah, absolutely. [00:05:05] Maybe another type of issue is God. I know you say I'm been healed. Why am I still sick? I'm praying for my healing. Or money. All these things in our lives where we can go back to scripture and we clearly see God's promise. [00:05:29] And we feel that that promise is spoken to us. The scripture gets into us that this is God's promise to us, and yet we don't see things happening. What's happening? There's lots of things that can be going on. Faith, belief, timing. But I want to try to bring some focus into timing on this call and to start off. I'd like you to read a passage for us. And the passage is Mark Levin versus 22, 23, 24. And just to kind of set the stage on this passage, disciples have just come to Jesus and asked a question. And Jesus is now going to teach them about faith. And that's kind of where we are. But within faith is timing. And this is what's going to be real interesting. So let me know when you're ready. [00:06:31] Okay. All right. I'm ready, Mark. Eleven, twenty or 24. Then Jesus said to the disciples, Have faith in God. I'm telling you the truth. You can say to this mountain, may you be lifted up and thrown into the sea. And that will happen. But you must really believe that will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you, you can pray for anything. And if you believe that you receive that, it will be yours. [00:07:00] Ok, so here's we kind of have two things going along. We have faith and timing. Obviously, we cannot pray. [00:07:09] Without faith and expect to receive it, James says the person who doubts not expect to receive anything from the Lord. But then we also have an element of timing and the timing is in that very last sentence. So read that last part for me again. [00:07:26] Okay, I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you received it, it will be yours. [00:07:34] If you believe that you've received it is received past, present or future tense. [00:07:44] Okay, so if you believe that you've received it. It's already years. That's what he's saying, right? [00:07:52] Mm hmm. When did you get it? Put the next part. [00:07:57] It will be yours, it will be yours. [00:07:59] This will be past, present or future. [00:08:05] I actually think it could be present and future will be. [00:08:11] Does that mean it's right now? [00:08:13] No, that's future. [00:08:15] Okay, so here's the problem that we're running into. [00:08:21] Past tense. I believe I've already received it, but future tense will be granted to me. Do you see the problem? [00:08:32] It's a problem because in our physical world, everything is based on a linear chronicle chronological time. But when you get into the spirit realm. Time really isn't quite so linear. And faith for the most part, has no time constraint at all. We may talk about that a little bit later on. I don't want to go there, but I just want to kind of pose the problem that the problem we're running into with God's timing versus man is God operates in a different frame than we do. And faith operates in a different frame. Faith says you must first believe that it is years that you actually hold that title deed in your hand. And then in the future it's going to be granted. You're granted. And so now we go, Lord is mine. Where is it? Right? You say I'm healed. Where's my healing? You say. He will be safe. Where's the salvation? You say you're going to get us out of this terrible mess we're in. When is it going to happen? Because I've been praying a long time and it hasn't happened. And so we have this constant stress in our life. If we're not careful, but this level of anxiety and level of confusion as to what's going on, and that's that's where the challenge starts to come. So I want to talk about two rooms. I want to talk about the spirit realm and the physical realm. And we see this used throughout scripture and even in our own vernacular, lots of different ways. You have the natural and you have the supernatural. [00:10:15] That's the same thing as the physical versus the spiritual, which is the same thing as the earthly realm versus the heavenly realm. All of these are basically interchangeable because there's this contrast between what we see in the visible world and what actually occurs in the invisible. Are you following me so far on that? [00:10:42] Yes. Yes. [00:10:44] So here's another question for you. If you were to put us on, put it on a scale and weight 1 as greater than the other. Are we? [00:11:00] More natural or supernatural? Or said another way. Are we more physical or spiritual? [00:11:12] Are you asking for my personal opinion? Yes. My personal opinion is that I am more spiritual than I am natural because I believe that my spirit is the only thing that's going to live for eternity, either in heaven or in hell and in my case, in heaven. So I believe that I'm more spiritual than I am physical. [00:11:32] Yes. And I would agree with that. And I would agree with it. For those same reasons. But I would agree with it for one additional reason. If you look at it as you look at authority and control, does the physical have authority over and therefore control over the spiritual realm? [00:11:57] Or do you think the spiritual realm has authority and control over the physical realm? Or are they completely separate and neither one impacts the other? Which one do you think? Which of those three options? [00:12:10] I think the spiritual has control over this goal, but I also believe that whatever you give the most control to or allow to control has the. The most authority over you. In other words. [00:12:30] Yes. Yes. Yes, I agree. [00:12:34] But if we can start with the premise. Or the truth that the spirit realm has authority and control over the physical realm and that there's something there. It doesn't mean that every single thing that occurs in the physical is driven by the spirit, but it does mean that in the hierarchy of things, the spirit realm has authority and impacts the physical realm much more than the physical realm impacts the spirit. It's kind of a one way direction on a two way. There are things we do in our lives that can impact our life. But I would say that those things we do in our lives impact our lives first and foremost, because they either neglect what goes on in the spirit realm or they take advantage of what goes on in the spirit room. When we focus on ourselves and on our own situation as opposed to focus on God, we get one outcome. But when we focus on and trust in the Lord, we get a different outcome. Does that make sense? Yeah. So what we do in the physical impacts, but ultimately if we do in the physical is either rejecting or neglecting the spirit or it is falling in line with the spirit. [00:14:02] And therefore it's still the spiritual side of what goes on that makes the impact in our lives. Is that. [00:14:11] Yeah, it's a matter of fact, I was thinking when you were saying that I was just thinking about creation, creation of the world God created. He spoke and the world came into being. But all of that came after the spirit. That to me, I mean, that was just something that popped in my head. I'm like, okay, well, clearly the spirit realm has authority because the created world came through the spirit realm. [00:14:40] Yes. Bingo. And so when we start to understand that, then things start to make a little bit more sense because we're so trained, we only look in the physical, we don't look in the spirit. [00:14:53] And I'm not talking about we have to have spiritual, spiritual eyes and see in the spirit realm like a like a quote unquote, a or. But we can't neglect what's going on in that room. So let's move into an element of the spiritual realm. And since you brought up creation, let's go there real quickly. Let's go to Genesis 1 1, Genesis 1 1. [00:15:22] Genesis 1 1. [00:15:24] Before you go out on me, I want to set the stage as we read these. We read them with an understanding of where we're going. I want to show us that God transcends time. That God is outside of the realm of time. And because he's outside the realm of time. What we think of this time or when something shouldn't happen is different from our perspective than his perspective. And I want to first take that up from scripture and then I'm going to give you kind of walk you through an example of how this operates within our lives. And it's really cool. So let's let you region says 1 1 1 1. [00:16:07] In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. [00:16:11] All right. So in the beginning, God created. In the beginning. God already existed. Does that make sense? [00:16:25] Yeah. [00:16:27] So we have this first statement of guys, the eternal existence. That exists. I want to say even before time. Give me a moment. I'll back that up scripturally. Let's now turn to John 858. [00:16:53] All right. John, eight fifty eight. Jesus answered, I tell you the truth. Before Abraham was even born, I am. [00:17:06] So now we have Jesus claiming that he existed not only before Abraham, but that Jesus exists eternally. That's what I mean. That means I am. It's not that I was or I was created. It's an eternal existence. The same as with the Lord. And we know obviously of God as these exist eternally so as Jesus because they're one. All right. So let's look at let's look at Titus. 1 2. This is going to be really cool. We're getting closer. [00:17:42] We want to be. Go ahead. [00:17:44] All right, Titus 1, verse 2. This truth gives them confidence that they have eternal life, which God who does not lie promised then before the world began. [00:17:58] Promised before the world began, the amplified Bible says, before the world or the ages of time began. So now we're getting a little bit closer that scriptures are starting to indicate God existed before time. But let's look at one final verse. Let's go to Jude. 1 and we're going to read 24 and 25. [00:18:30] June 1, 24, 25. Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away. And we'll bring you with great joy into his Gore's presence without a single fault. All glory to him. Who alone is God? Our Savior. Jesus Christ, our Lord. All glory, majesty. Power and authority are his before all time and in the present and beyond time. [00:18:59] And that call for all time. [00:19:03] And now beyond all time here, we have scriptural reference that says. God created time because God existed before time began. When we start to look at God's promises. And the impact of this whole thing called faith, believe you have received it passed. And then it will be years, future tense. We can't reconcile this problem in the natural because the natural is bound by time. But when we move outside of the realm of time now, it's really easy to reconcile what's going on. And the more we can understand from God's perspective, the more we can live in a way that honors, the more we live by faith and faith in a very simplistic type of definition. [00:20:01] I mean, it's multifaceted, so you can't just put it in a single box. But ultimately, faith is seeing everything from God's perspective because it's seeing it through his eyes and not our eyes through what he knows as truth, not what we think of as reality. This kind of forming making sense. So I want to I want to use a tube as an example. So picture a tube like a garden hose. Okay. So imagine right now you've got a 10 foot garden hose. With a 10 foot garden hose, it's hollow all the way through and I can put water in the front end of that garden hose and that water is going to travel through the garden hose and go out the other end. Are you picturing the picture right now? [00:20:54] Yeah, yeah. [00:20:56] So this garden hose, in essence, represents time. Time starts at the beginning. You put some water in at the beginning and then over time it comes out on the other end. If we were to look at the garden hose as time, then you could say that that garden hose starts in Genesis, the creation of the heavens and the earth, and it ends in Revelation, the new heavens and the new earth and everything that happens through Genesis, through Exodus, through first and second Samuel into Chronicles, into the mind all the way through the New Testament. There's this linear timeline that those events are traveling through this garden hose of time. [00:21:52] Picture that if we were to take a zoom in on that garden hose. Now, that garden hose can represent your life. And my life from the point that we born travelling through to the point that we die, everything in our life is contained within that garden hose because that garden hose is time. Now, here's something interesting in this garden hose. Let's assume that you you were to become like the old movie, Honey, I Shrunk the kids. Right. So you become really tiny and you get a an inner tube and it's really tiny and you start the journey at the beginning of that hose. All right. If there are waterfalls. This is a 10 foot hose. If there's a big waterfall at marker number four foot and you're just starting the hose, do you see those waterfalls? [00:22:58] No. [00:22:58] No. When did you get to see those waterfalls? When do you get to experience that waterfall, when you're going through the hose, when it was like right behind you. [00:23:08] About to take you out. [00:23:09] That's right. When you're right there. Okay. Now let's. Now, let's assume for a moment did that garden hose is made out of clear plastic. Okay. So you're the honey who shrunk the kids, let's say. I know I'm the guy who shrunk the kids and I shrunk you and you're starting on your journey through your hose and foot. Number four, there's a raging waterfall. You don't see it until you get there. But I'm outside of the hose. Do I see it before you get there? Oh, yeah. Do I see it as you begin your journey at the very beginning of the hose? Yes. Yeah. Not only do I see the waterfall at foot number four, but I see also what happens at foot number eight, nine and ten. Does that make sense? Yes. Why do I see it? You don't. [00:24:09] Because you're on the outside. [00:24:13] I'm on the outside looking in. So now let's take this hose a little bit closer. So let's say, for example, that I am God, I'm not. But let's say that I was in this example and you were Penny and I see you traveling through your homes. And in that traveling through, you ask me, I really want this special gift. And I promise you, I have already given it to you. Now, you're right now on foot. Number five. I put that gift at foot number six. Here's the question. Did I already give you the gift? [00:25:10] Have you already received it? No. Hold on. Pray you have received it. Have I given it to you? [00:25:22] Yes. If I've given it to you, then have you received it? Yes. Okay. When will you take physical, physical possession of that gift? [00:25:36] When I get to it, you get to it. [00:25:40] So now we start to get this understanding. How can you receive past tense? And yet it will be your future tense. Okay. And you can receive it because when God gives a gift, he's not operating inside of our homes. He's operating on the outside of it because he created the hose. He sees the whole thing. [00:26:12] Hmm hmm hmm hmm. [00:26:13] He's going to put that gift marker number six feet and says, I have given it to you. And then it's your job to go down the hose until you receive possession, but you have to believe. Okay, so let me share some other fun implications of this. [00:26:34] When was Jesus crucified? According to the Bible. [00:26:40] As far as age. [00:26:44] When was he crucified? [00:26:47] Well, he was crucified in 30, and it was a time after Passover. [00:26:58] And then when the time line. [00:27:02] Was he crucified? [00:27:06] Let's say he was crucified on. It was Passover the next day. I believe the day after Passover is when he was crucified. [00:27:18] All right. All right. So what year would that be, roughly? Generally speaking, let's say. [00:27:32] A lot of math, I guess we know about 33 is a calendar date. But here's the question. According to the Bible, Quinn was crucified. [00:27:51] That's a good question. [00:27:53] According to the Bible, he was crucified before the world began. [00:28:00] Yes. Do you remember that that's in Revelations crucified the lamb, crucified before the foundation of the world. [00:28:11] So how could he have been crucified before the foundation of the world and yet. Two thousand years ago, we see him up on a cross. [00:28:21] Yeah, that's really good. [00:28:26] What's the implication? The implication is. Kind of a lot. Boy, this could go really deep if I'm not careful. So let me make it simple. So let's go back to the timeline of just 2000 years. We're going to keep this kind of simple at the point of crucified crucifixion or at that point of of Jesus becoming the lamb slain for the righteous to make us righteous. [00:28:56] Then when you accept Christ as your savior. Are your sins forgiven immediately, immediately. [00:29:10] Is it only past sense or future sense as well? Okay, but you haven't committed those sins yet. So how can it be that when you ask Christ to come into your life, that you're forgiven for all past sins? And those that have yet to commit. [00:29:35] Well, because I'm not perfect and there's only one perfect person, Jesus Christ, because I'm a human and not perfect. It's very possible that I'm going to sin in my life. God's saying I'm going to go ahead and take care of that. [00:29:51] God's guarding all say I'm going to take care of it. But a little bit more. Let's look from God's perspective, not man's perspective. So I've got this. This 10 foot clear plastic garden hose in front of me that represents all of the generation of men from Genesis to Revelation. Somewhere around probably foot number five, let's call it somewhere halfway in that process. It could have been before or after the physical time chronologically when Jesus comes to earth and is crucified. And at that point, God says sins are forgiven. Right. [00:30:38] So when he says sins are forgiven, he's speaking that truth outside of the timeline, outside of the tube. And therefore, it impacts the entire to not only those who look forward to the coming of the messiah and their faith was counted to them as righteousness, but also those that come after that chronological point in time that look backwards to what Christ did. Their faith is counted to them as righteousness and righteousness means a sense have been forgiven. Follow me. Yes. Okay. So what that means is that chronological point in time when we say, Lord, forgive me of my sins, please come into my heart. Just say whatever little simple commitment that we make. It is in the spirit realm already done for our entire life. We have been made righteous in our life, not just to that point. That's kind of the technical reason. There is a very simplistic version of technical reason why when we've asked Jesus into our life, our sins are forgiven, including those that we have not yet done. We don't know we're going to do that, but God looks in that little clear plastic tubing, says, shame on you. But I've already forgiven you. He knows what's going to happen and it's all been forgiven. [00:32:11] Yeah. Yeah. [00:32:14] Okay, so then. We ask for a special gift or God gives us a promise of something to come. [00:32:24] And now we have a slight variation to this tube that I have to make to help illustrate what's going on within this timeline. Have you ever seen one of those little splitters that you can put on a garden hose that you screwed in one end and then it has basically to end so you can now have two garden hoses coming out of one? You know what I'm talking about? [00:32:47] Yes, I do. Okay. So that is a decision junction on this garden garden hose of our time. So now here's the point. I want you to understand. I want you to see if we can make this simple. So you're cruising along because I shrunk you. You're on your little inner tube going through your clear plastic tube of your life and you don't know what's coming ahead of you because you can't see it. But I as God, I see everything that's going on. I know what's going to happen before you even know what's going to happen. And therefore, I can say, Penny, trust me, I got your back on this one. Okay. [00:33:29] So now God says, first off, let me come back and ask a question. Do you think there have been any times when you've asked God for help? It would have been within his will that you receive that blessing, but for whatever reason, you never received it. [00:33:56] I'm not going to do. [00:33:59] Not that you just have been delayed receiving it, but maybe you missed out on the blessing deeply. That's possible. [00:34:06] I do. I do. [00:34:09] Yeah. Because we even see this back in that passage. What was it? Mark Levin, 24 What ever you pray and believe that you received them and they shall be granted you. What if we don't believe that we receive them? Is it possible that we miss out on those things that we've asked God for? [00:34:32] Yes, because I think even if it's there, if you don't believe, you're not going see it. [00:34:39] Yes, absolutely. So now this takes me into the decision junction and this is now another element of God's timing. God says first you ask. You ask me. I'm God and this little example, you asked me, God, I really want this special gift. And I somehow communicate back to you, says Penny. I've given it to you. Now, believe it. You're to believe that you've received it. [00:35:18] What I do at that moment is ahead of you. [00:35:22] We have a decision junction and I place that gift on the left hand junction. The left hand junction, actually, we'll call it the right him, because that's more biblically accurate. So on the right hand junction, you get to the fork. You can go left or right on the right hand junction. I place your gift to face. On the left hand junction, you bypass it completely. So now you come to the decision point. This junk decision junction in your life and you're trying to decide which way to go. Is it possible that you believe by faith and you take the right hand junction? [00:36:07] Okay. [00:36:08] And if you believe by faith and take the right injunction, then as you're going down that inner tube of life, you're gonna run right into the promise that I've given you because I place it right there. But is it also possible that when you get to that decision junction that you doubt? [00:36:27] And you end up going left instead of right. Sure. [00:36:32] Okay, so if you doubt you go left. Does that make. My God, my promise of giving you a gift null and void? In other words, did I lie to you? I told you I was going to give you this gift and you didn't get it. Did I lie? [00:36:52] No. What happened? [00:36:56] I chose the wrong path. [00:36:59] You acted by sight, not by faith. You acted in fear and doubt rather than by faith. And these decision junctions always come up in turbulent waters. And in almost all cases, the passive face looks like a raging waterfall and tumultuous rapids. And the task of doubt looks like calm water. Have you ever experienced that? [00:37:32] Yes. Yeah. Okay. So what we do in our natural is we go, oh, that can't be right. Right versus left. [00:37:42] That can't be correct. Right. That can't be correct. It's not going right. I must need to go left because how much easier it is. And God always asks us to do something bold and step out. Faith is living on the edge because faith is not living by sight, but living by God's word alone. It's doing what God says to do even when our naturalize say, that's crazy. And when we get to these decision junctions. [00:38:21] It is possible, I believe, to miss out on God's highest and blessed and greatest blessings for us in our lives because we choose the wrong path, because we make a decision by sight rather than decision by following him. And so this is that fork in the road. And let's read real quickly a couple other things. Go to first, Peter, 3 8. This is a passage that we're all probably familiar with. First, Peter, three, I just want to kind of illustrate what I think this passage is kind of saying. [00:39:04] All right. First, Peter, three verse eight, finally, all of you should be of one mind, sympathize with each other, love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tender hearted and keep a humble attitude. [00:39:20] First, Peter. [00:39:21] Maybe I am first here. [00:39:24] Okay, then maybe a second, Peter. But the one I was looking for is with the Lord. One day is a thousand years and years as one day. And just try to grasp that, because with the Lord being outside of time, you know, whether it's one inch or one centimeter, one foot on that timeline. He sees it all. There is no time within the Lord. [00:39:51] The time is only within our livelihood turn. One less, one less passage on this, James, 1, 6 and 7. [00:40:02] Saying. [00:40:05] All right, James. 1, 6 and 7. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. [00:40:28] Okay, so we get down to that decision junction. [00:40:33] Can you see how easy it is to start to waver left, right or left, right or left? We pray to God. What are your eyes telling you has to be the best solution. When you pray to God, what are your eyes telling you? [00:40:52] Whatever. The easiest path. [00:40:54] Easiest path, right. And sometimes God's word says. The right path, not the left path. And so this is when we start to waiver. What happens is if we waver too long, we pass right on by where we ought to be and we go down that path of doubt. And this is what I think James is kind of talking about when we get to these decision junctions, not to expect anything from the Lord if we don't fully trust him. The things that he gives us, he gives us by faith. Spirit realm overrules the physical realm. He gives us in the spirit realm first because it's outside of time. He places it in our future some place. But it's us going through our physical realm, making the choices of faith that lead us to that promise that's been given first in the spirit room and then it manifests in the physical. But if we doubt and waver, we end up taking the wrong choices and we totally bypass where the Lord had for us and those great blessing. That doesn't mean that he can't move that blessing down the line again, but it does mean that we're missing the best path for our lives. And that's this whole concept of the timeline and kind of how it works, the implications on this. I think it's several. We need to remain persistent and safe if we take that low definition we've been working on. [00:42:28] Faith is choosing. To believe an act on God's truth rather than choosing to act. On the reality of the natural, it will never make sense. And usually when we choose to act on God's truth, the natural is saying, don't do it, don't do it. It's nothing but danger and hardship. And yet God is saying, come on. Trust me, you won't believe the blessings that await you if you just trust me. Okay. And so we have to remain persistent in faith because when God has promised. His promise will come true if we persistent faith. Hebrews 10, 35 and 36 basically says don't throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. And he says once you have done the will of God, you'll receive what was promised. He's talking about this whole thing, that these promises are received by faith, just like just like salvation is received by faith. I think the second implication is stop asking. And start thinking about this. Have you ever been in a time in your life? Let's call it financial, because I think we all go through financial struggles. Have you ever been in a time in your life financially where you're almost pleading with the Lord, help us, help us. We're about to sink. We need help. Have you ever been kind of desperate stage? [00:44:08] Yes. [00:44:10] Prior to getting into that, has God's word promise that he will take care of you as long as you trust him? [00:44:19] Yeah. [00:44:20] Okay. So when we come into that state where his work says he'll take care of us. [00:44:25] And now we're pleading. Oh, my gosh, I'm about to sink. Is that. Pleading a prayer of faith for prayer site. [00:44:36] Definitely it's based. [00:44:39] The site is fear based because the devil wants us to believe what we see because we'll get afraid and God wants us to believe what he says. And it's totally two totally different things. One other implication of this whole timeline concept is realizing that we can't see what God sees. And if God is promised, then we need to stop asking. Or maybe I should say stop pleading. And start thinking now if we take the story of Alija and the rain. Okay, so this goes back to the time of the Kings. [00:45:25] Israel and Judah has broken and have broken up. Ahab is now king and Elijah has. He's up on Mount Carmel. And he's just finished killing all of the bill process because they prayed for far to come from God to light their sacrifice. And it didn't. Elijah prayed for God to. Bring far down and it totally sucked up and burned up all of the sacrifice, the stones, the water and everything else. So there's just been this great victory. And then Elijah tells Ahab. Hop on your chariot and go before the rains come and you get stuck in the rain and everything was dry and dusty. Elijah believed God that it was going to rain. [00:46:17] Follow me so far. So we're at the stage where a promise has been given. Elijah knows what's going to happen. But then what does Alija do? Do you remember what he does right after he tells? They have to hop in his chair and go. [00:46:33] I don't remember, he goes up and he bowed down and he prays and he tells his servant, look out over the horizon and tell me what you see. The servant comes back and says, I don't see anything. So what is Elijah do again? [00:46:48] He tells me to go back and look again. [00:46:52] That's right. Elijah prays again and says, go back and look. Elijah does that seven times until there's a little cloud the size of a man's hand. So here we have how we should operate. First off, let me ask you a question. Do you think Elijah believed rains were coming? [00:47:14] Yes. [00:47:15] Yes. Why did he pray? Was he pleading with God, please, Lord, please, we need the rains, please. Or do you think his prayer was something different? [00:47:27] I think his prayer was thanking, thanking God for the rain, just believing that it's coming. [00:47:34] Yes, it's a different level of prayer. Different type of prayer. It's a prayer of Lord. Send the range, according to your word. Because I know they're coming. I thank you in advance for those rains that are coming. That is what our prayers ought to be when we come before the Lord. Not a prayer of pleading and fear, but prayers of anticipation and thinking because we know God's word is true. And then the third implication is sort of like Yogi Berra, you hear these Yogi Berra saying when you come to a fork in the road, take it. I just see this physical fork sitting there. And when you come to when you come to a fork, take the fork and the knife also there's a knife. But in this case, when you come to that fork in the road of your life, that decision junction always take the fork of faith. Because that's the only way that you're going to receive these abundant blessings that God has for you. Now, his overriding grace will still bless you, even in your abundant blessings are only going to come when we take those forks of faith. [00:49:01] So that's the. [00:49:06] Any final thoughts or comments before we wrap up this call? [00:49:12] I was thinking when you were talking about the path and choosing the path, it's usually rockier. The one that the Lord has tends to sometimes in the natural look like the one that you don't want to be on. And I was thinking about myself included, but I know so many others tend to pray when they're going down that path or deliver me like deliver me from this storm. Please make this storm stop. It's just overwhelming me and whatever. And it just hit me that a lot of times women are praying to be delivered from that. If God were to answer that, then we would miss the promise that he had set out for us, because if we're praying to be delivered or removed from that situation, we're not gonna be on that path anymore. And we're going to miss that promise. [00:50:05] What you were just talking about, the God's already put out a sobering thought, especially at those storms are brought about as a test. We all go through a wilderness in our life. [00:50:18] And I would think if you zoom in and out of our life, there's like a little wilderness is the wilderness is a time of testing before we receive a blessing. There are times when we're being attacked and there's some discernment there. But I think the main thing with all of this is I remember one time I was going through some really tough times financially with the business and I was pleading with God. I was pleading because I was afraid almost to the point of tears. And that's a moat. And so for me to be almost the point of tears, it was really dramatic. And I remember the Lord speaking to me and just see my spirit and saying something along the lines of, do you not trust me? Taking care of you all these years. Do you really think I'm going to let you down now? It wasn't quite those words, but that was the gist of it. And it really kind of shook me and I thought, you're right, I need to be. Acting in faith and not in fear, and I think that's the junction we come to the forks in the road. Which way are we going to act? Because Peter walking on the water, so long as he acted. Taking the fork of faith, he walked on the water. As he took the fork of sight and fear, he sunk. He missed out on God's greatest blessings for him. At that moment in his life, because he acted in fear. And that's the whole thing here, is it's all part of that timeline and which way you go. [00:52:03] Oh, well, Beatty, I think we're about out of time. This is great. Today, I really appreciated this talk. And just hear your insight and your wisdom on this subject. P011 [00:52:15] It was wonderful. [00:52:16] I appreciate that. All right. Well, until next time, we'll see you guys later. [00:52:22] All right. [/fusion_text][/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

JJ Virgin is a 4 x New York Times Best Selling Author, TV show Host, Triple Board certified Celebrity Nutritionist and a warrior mum. In 2012 JJ's 16 year old son Grant was the victim of a hit and run accident and was left barely hanging onto life, after weeks in a critical condition and defying all the odds he slowly emerged from his coma with major brain trauma and 13 fractures and a near torn aorta. JJ was told from the outset he wouldn't survive the first night, that he wouldn't survive the airlift to the hospital, that he wouldn't survive the operation and that if by some miracle he did his brain damage would make it a life not worth living. But JJ is a fighter and she decided from the outset that her son would survive and thrive and that she wouldn't rest until he was 110%. The years of rehabilitation and the strategies she used to get him there is what we share in this interview. This powerful story resonated with me because I have been through the same experience with my mother and I too refused to give up, had to advocate for her rehabilitation and took a multple pronged approach to her recovery as did JJ with her son.   This incredibly powerful woman is a testament to what the right mindset combined with love, belief, faith and the ability to build a team around her can do to beat the odds.   We would like to thank our sponsors Running Hot - By Lisa Tamati & Neil Wagstaff If you want to run faster, longer and be stronger without burnout and injuries then check out and TRY our Running Club for FREE on a 7 day FREE TRIAL Complete holistic running programmes for distances from 5km to ultramarathon and for beginners to advanced runners.   All include Run training sessions, mobility workouts daily, strength workouts specific for runners, nutrition guidance and mindset help Plus injury prevention series, foundational plans, running drill series and a huge library of videos, articles, podcasts, clean eating recipes and more.   www.runninghotcoaching.com/info and don't forget to subscribe to our youtube channel at Lisa's Youtube channel  www.yotube.com/user/lisatamat and come visit us on our facebook group   www.facebook.com/groups/lisatamati Epigenetics Testing Program by Lisa Tamati & Neil Wagstaff. Wouldn’t it be great if your body came with a user manual? Which foods should you eat, and which ones should you avoid? When, and how often should you be eating? What type of exercise does your body respond best to, and when is it best to exercise? These are just some of the questions you’ll uncover the answers to in the Epigenetics Testing Program along with many others. There’s a good reason why epigenetics is being hailed as the “future of personalised health”, as it unlocks the user manual you’ll wish you’d been born with! No more guess work. The program, developed by an international team of independent doctors, researchers, and technology programmers for over 15 years, uses a powerful epigenetics analysis platform informed by 100% evidenced-based medical research. The platform uses over 500 algorithms and 10,000 data points per user, to analyse body measurement and lifestyle stress data, that can all be captured from the comfort of your own home Find out more about our  Epigenetics Program and how it can change your life and help you reach optimal health, happiness and potential at: https://runninghotcoaching.com/epigenetics You can find all our programs, courses, live seminars and more at www.lisatamati.com    Transcription from the show. Speaker 2: (00:02) Well, hello everybody. It's Lisa Tamati here at pushing the limits today. I have a really wonderful special guest with me all the way from Tampa in Florida. She's an absolute superstar of a lady. She's a celebrity nutritionist, four times New York Times best seller fitness hall of Famer and she's also a warrior mum and she has a very interesting story today that we're going to delve into both in her career and what she's achieved but also,uwas ubrain injury in regards to his son grants. We had a hit and run x events. So welcome to the show JJ. It's fantastic to have you. Thank you. Good to be here also. (00:42) So JJ, I just want to start a little bit of it with a background. If you wouldn't mind sharing, what you do and your, your books and your work a little bit. That'd be fantastic. Speaker 3: (00:54) All right. I am a nutrition and fitness expert and so I've got a bunch of books I've written over the years. Online programs. I speak, I do TV. I had a couple, I was kind of helped start reality TV because I was on Dr Phil's weight loss challenges for two years. It was really when that whole thing was kinda getting going. Then I had my own show on TLC called freaky eaters. So I've been really fortunate to just be able to work in something that I'm super passionate about, which is anything related to health and wellness. And then I also have an organization where we help other doctors and health experts get their message out to the world called mindshare. Speaker 2: (01:37) Oh Wow. And that is something that we definitely want to delve into a little bit too. So now I want to go back to you've got two sons, Bryce and Grant and in 2012 Grant was the victim of a hit and run accident. Can we share a little bit about that story and what you sort of went through with him and you know, it really resonated with me, your book and your story because a lot of the same dramas that you have over there, it was with the system a few like we have here as well. Probably even worse, the speaks and you had to be a real fighter and therefore the title of your, your book sort of really resonated with me as well. So can we go into that story a little bit and tell us what happened with Grant? Speaker 3: (02:29) Yeah, it's really a story I realized after the fact. It's really a story about what it takes to be a caretaker and I think that's important to underscore because it's a role all of us will have to play, right? I mean, at some point in your life you're going to be taking care of kids, you're going to be taking care of your parents. Maybe you're taking care of both at the same time or a spouse or siblings. So it's, it's one of those roles in life that you will probably face and how you show up during that role can make the difference between life and death for that person. So and also you know, how you show up is going to make a difference on your personal health too. So the grant was 16 years old. My other son was 15 years old. Speaker 3: (03:15) Bryce and grant went out to walk to a friend's house one night and got hit by a car and I didn't see this. A neighbour didn't see him getting hit. He just saw him lying on the street. You saw this woman get out of her car, gasp, get back in and drive off. And he then called nine one one and he was airlifted to the local hospital. When we got there, they told us that he had a torn aorta and it was going to rupture sometime in the next 24 hours unless it got repaired. But that he would never survive the airlift to the next hospital. They couldn't repair it there. He would have to, but that he wouldn't survive that. And even if you were to survive that, he would most likely not survive the surgery. And even if you were to survive that, he'd be so brain damaged. Speaker 3: (04:07) It wouldn't be worth it. I mean, literally they said that, I remember looking at this doctor going, he didn't, did he say that? And My 15 year old looked at the doctrine, he said, well, maybe like, is there a 0.25% chance he'd make it because the doctor already said his aorta was going to rupture sometime in the next 24 hours. And the doctor said, that sounds about right. Bryce could looked over at me. That's not zero. You know, and we're like, we'll take those odds. And because I think any, any parent out there or anyone who loves anybody would have to agree that as long as there's a chance, even if it's the teensiest little chance, like you've got to go for it, you know, you've got to fight for it. I mean, the idea that I was gonna let my son die here, there was absolutely no way I was going to do that. Speaker 3: (04:52) So we overruled. This doctor. Had Him airlifted. He survived the airlift, went through surgery, he survived that surgery. Now when he came out of the surgery, he had a stint in and he was, his aorta was fine, but he was in a deep coma. The neurosurgeons were like, we don't know if he'll wake up. And I remember standing in the hospital and he had 13 fractures. He was in this deep coma, multiple brain bleeds. And there were like literally Lisa, two little fingers I could hold on to everything else was either covered with road rash. It was bandaged shoes and cast. And I was standing there holding this little fingers and I said, grant, you know, I love you so much and nothing, you know, just the beeps of the machine he had, he was on a respirator, he had a central line. So it was all these things being monitored. Speaker 3: (05:43) And then I said, and your brother Bryce loves you so much. And I felt the littlest fingers squeezy and Huh. And then I said, you know, grandma loves you so much, nothing. And I said, your girlfriend Kenzie loves you so much. And that's when I felt this big by my hand getting picked a little bit up. And I said, you know, grant, you're going to be 110% your name means warrior. I got this. I've got so many friends in the business who can help, but I need you to fight. You've got to fight, you've gotta hang on for me and your name means warrior. Turns out. So I said, you just got to you. You've got to fight all, handle the rest and we're going to get you to be 110% and I just lived that 110%. I was so afraid to let anything else get into my brain that, that you know, the what ifs. Speaker 3: (06:31) Like what if he doesn't wake up? What if he can't walk away? I just, cause I felt like if I thought it, it would happen. So I've always been one of those people who believes that you can, you can create your reality. And I just managed my mindset. I stay focused on the 110% and you know, and there are a lot of times in there, things were not looking like they were even gonna make it to like 30%. You know, I'm much less a hundred, much less this like unrealistic number that doesn't exist. But I will tell you today, after being told that he would never survive an air lift or surgery, he'd be so brain damaged. He'd never wake up, he wouldn't walk, he couldn't hear like over and over and over again. He is better than before that accident is so, and you know, it has been this thing in our life that has made all of us in the family so much better and stronger because now you know, the, the things that would average most people would get rattled about, the average person would get upset about, they don't even like, they don't even trick, trick trigger us at all. Speaker 3: (07:39) Like we're like, Eh, no one's dying here. You know, and I'm sure you relate, right? I mean like stuff like this, you realize the stuff that people let get them upset on a regular basis. It just doesn't, who cares? You know, Speaker 2: (07:57) Actually. Yeah. And I mean, I've, my lesson is, know my story with my mom and very similar, not gonna survive if she does miss and brain damage, if she, you know, when she did wake up after weeks in a coma sh lights on, nobody home Speaker 2: (08:16) Years and years of rehabilitation and we're out a story's cross. And why this is so important for me is that you never gave up. You keep your mind on the know. Exactly. I had that 110% in my head too when I go around still saying that. And my mom's only at 90%, so I wa I've still got a wee way to go. But in their whole process, it's not that you don't have doubts and disappear and times where you're on the ground crying going, oh my God, how am I going to get through this? But it's keeping it standing back up every time, Speaker 3: (08:48) Every time. And Hey, here's the thing, Lisa. So you went for 110% and got to 90 Speaker 3: (08:55) That's a lot better than the zero they were giving you. Right. You know, like you look at it, I kept thinking, oh, I'm going to go for 110% if I get to like wherever I get to is better than the zero that they, the 0.25 they gave me. So you know, you just gotta keep going. And by the way, it's only been recently that he really has been getting to this hundred and 10% I just figured as long as he's alive, there's always something else I can do. It's something amazing I can do. So he is now better than before the accident. But now I'm not showing, you know, we're just going to keep Speaker 2: (09:27) Pushing. Exactly. And you've got to, you've got to keep that focus. One of the things, the, the title of my book that's coming out is called relentless. And that's exactly what you have to be is totally and utterly real. And I know, and with my journey, I came up against a huge opposition to the way that I was wanting to rehabilitate my mum in both the resources that I wouldn't try to get hold of. In my approach, I was criticized a lot for why are you putting you through such a rigorous and difficult training regime? Why don't you just let it be comfortable and know Speaker 3: (10:07) Rest, no wrestling cupcakes and just let her be Speaker 2: (10:10) Exactly. Cupcakes and this, I mean, I'm a ultra endurance athlete. I've been an athlete my entire life and I know so we, you know, do 200 300 kilometer races and things and I know how to overcome when your mind is trying to stop you. I know that people are capable of so much more than what we think we are. Yeah. What I have issue with, I understand that the medical professionals do not want to give you false hope, but to take away your hope creating. Huh. Any hope makes you have a weak action. Like you're not going to fight because you don't believe there's a waste at home. You know, here's the thing. Speaker 4: (10:55) Okay. Speaker 3: (10:55) No one can take our hope away. Speaker 4: (10:57) Cool. Speaker 3: (10:59) So what we've really got to manage is, is we're, we, we're putting people in the wrong places. What you're going when you're going to a doctor is you're getting an opinion. You can do what you want with the opinion. That's what you're getting as an opinion. You know, like the opinion of the doctor at the first hospital was the complete opposite of the opinion of the doctor in the second hospital. Why the first hospital doctor worked in Palm Springs, California, where the average age coming into the urgent care, the trauma center was about 75. Oh Wow. And for 75 year old with a torn aorta, multiple brain bleeds, multiple fractures, this would've been it. Speaker 3: (11:40) But for a 16 year old, it's not. And so the trauma center, we got them to, which is the second trauma centers, number two trauma center in the country in us, they see all sorts of gang fights, people thrown off, overpasses, all sorts of stuff. This was like not out of the norm. Right? So you're just getting their opinion based on what they know. And they're going to give you the best opinion they can based on the information that they have. And then you get to make the decision you want out of it. I think that we're giving people power where we shouldn't be, you know, so and yes, people thought I was absolutely crazy. But then they started to get behind it cause I started tell them what, you know, what I was doing and what we were going to have, especially when they walked in, said, oh he's never gonna walk again. Speaker 3: (12:30) I go, well, Huh. You know, he had a crushed heel. And I said, well what if Kobe Bryant were in this bed cause I'm pretty sure that you would be doing everything possible. So that's what we're going to do. And you know, then they told me he was in the second hospital, which was a rehab hospital. And they told me that you know, there was a swimming pool and they go in there. They go, oh he's not ready for that. And there was a gym and I would sneak into the gym with him and do stuff and they get mad at me. So then I got to t I got a little furlough where I got to take them out for four hours. So we took them to an Olympic size pool. We took a video of him swimming perfectly through this pool. Then we took him to the gym, and then I took the video of him doing all this workout stuff at the gym. And I said, he wants to be challenged. Human beings need to be challenged. They, you know, that's how we actually get stronger. We don't get stronger by doing a little less than what we're capable of. We get stronger by being pushed beyond what we think we're capable of. And that's what we have to do. Speaker 2: (13:34) I mean, that is just absolutely amazing. I mean, well, I had all this opposition when I was in the hospital that she would not even live for a few weeks even when she was stabilized. And that she would never, I would never be able to care for her. And I just, I, I was determined to take her home like this, you know, once they said, look, she's not improving, she's never going to do anything again. You have to put her in this, you know, a hospital institution. And I really fought tooth and nail to get her home and to get a little bit of support. So with caregivers in the morning for an hour and just, you know, for personal cares and some time out because she was 24, seven around the clock here and the, they would not give me the resources that I need. I had to really, really fight. Speaker 2: (14:23) And this is one of the important points that I've heard you make before too, and then abuse it. I've listened to did you have to really advocate for your loved one? You can go and, and you've, you're fighting against not only the, the, the accident or the aneurysm or you know, the, the results of that you're filing against the system that if you don't be a pushy, quite, you know, strong person. I mean, I'm, I'm lucky. I'm like, you, I don't really care if people don't like me when it comes to my mum, you know, like, I wouldn't Speaker 2: (15:00) Like a, a lot of, you know, oh, she's said pushy daughter. She's very forceful. You know, she's here again, me, I'm sure they hated me. And, and did not believe that I could do any of this. And I actually, at one stage, I remember going in and throwing my other two books at the doctor and saying, this is who I am and I am not putting my mom in a home and you better get used to it. You better give me what I need. And he still wouldn't, you know. So then I'm walking up brother, and who's very big man, and we got results. What we needed. You do, what ever you take to, to give your loved one the best chance possible. And you know, like with, with you taking grant into the gym and seeing, isn't it a, isn't it a beautiful feeling to actually get them out of the hospital situation and finally into some way like a gym or swimming pool surrounded with, with athletes and people that are actually all about improving themselves rather than being in a rehabilitation place where that's what I found that, you know, when she was surrounded by other young athletes training hard, she rose to the next Speaker 3: (16:15) Well think about, you know, what we know about obesity, that's super interesting. As they, you know, the studies in the U s about obesity being contagious, you catch it from your friends that you will tend to weigh what your closest friends way, even if they live across the country. And so one of the classic things I say when someone says, all right, well now I've gotten healthy and fit, how do I stay that way? I go find fit friends. So, you know, grant, when we took them, we took them out of the hospital after four and a half months earlier than they wanted us to. And then we had them in a Rehab Center for another month, but then I took them out of that, brought them home and I brought them to a training center that is the Athletic Training Center for that area. And they are amazing what they do. There are all sorts of, you know, like rope training, balance training power, like really cool stuff. And that's what we had them doing. And he's still now doing it to this day, like all sorts of crazy balanced stuff and you know, climbing and ropes and that kind of stuff that, you know, again, the average person won't do much less. Someone with rods in their thighs and, you know, he had ac joint problems, all sorts of stuff. And like Speaker 2: (17:37) He's fine, he's fine and he's fighting back. And did you with a brain injury? Did you have to teach grant everything from scratch again or did he start like with mum, it took me 18 months to teach mum just to roll over and bead, you know, it was that she couldn't push a button or she couldn't sit like she was completely floppy and no special awareness. Did grant have those issues as well? Speaker 3: (18:05) Yeah, that's very interesting. So grant was in a coma for a couple of weeks and I thought like in the movies, you know, in the movies someone's in a coma and then one day they wake up and they go, hi, I love you. So that is like shame on those movies. This does not happen this way. We, he didn't wake up from that coma overnight. It happened over time and a lot of time. And we basically got to start all over again at, first of all he did was stare off into space. He wouldn't make eye contact and you moved one arm has only thing that was in a cast. He moved one arm back and forth all day every day. And I was like, Oh, you know, and then we'd sleep off and on and then then you started, you know, being able to make eye contact. Then he started. Then one day I wasn't there at the time, which is so sad. His girlfriend came in and he said, I love you. And so he just, things started to come out, but we had to start all over again with teaching them how to brush his teeth, how to eat, how to go to the bathroom. He knew none of this, none of it. So it was quite like, it was like raising a very big, a 16 year old baby. Speaker 2: (19:16) Yeah. I had a 74 year old baby and they don't think very well. Speaker 3: (19:20) Yeah. Right. It's not a, it's very different. Speaker 2: (19:24) And, and, and this is what people don't quite understand is the dates of the rehabilitation. Every time you get something back, you realize there's another deficit that you haven't thought of. Yeah. You haven't come up against that problem until that one is sort of right. Right. Speaker 3: (19:37) That one installed and you're like, oh no, now they're going to get up. And they can't gonna have any balance. Oh, now that they want to get up, now they've got to go. You know, it's like, yeah. Every single thing was, Speaker 2: (19:49) Was relearning and retraining the brain. Now you were very, in a very lucky situation, you hit some of the world's top doctors and brain doctors like Dr. Daniel Amen. Who's amazing. They supported you through the students. [inaudible] Yeah, most of them don't have such amazing friends, if you like. And the opportunity to get the information that you needed. I want to go a little bit into the, like the supplementation side of things and then get into hyperbaric because hyperbaric is something that we both did. And I know with my mom, it was absolute key factor in her recovery. Can you tell us what your nutritionist, you're an amazing nutritionist, triple board certified, you know, everything about the right foods. What's wrong with the stuff that they give you in the hospital? Speaker 3: (20:41) Things grant said was, you know, when they tried to give him hospital food was disgusting. And I was like yeah, I made a point, especially at the first hospital, the second hospital had better food, but the first hospital had just the typical, it was a county hospital and it was all processed. It was horrible. Honestly. It was like ensure and white bread and I mean just horrible stuff. And he needed wholefoods. He needed you know, good and mega threes, he needed lots of vegetables. There was none, there was nothing there to be had. And so I made a point of bringing and it was a pain in the bucks. His hospital's parking lot was under construction, so I'd end up parking anywhere from a mile to two miles away every single day. And it wasn't in a great neighborhood. So sometimes this would be like six in the morning, nine at night. Speaker 3: (21:38) So it was like, I look at me, I don't, I don't know how the heck I would do this and I would bring a cooler bag of stuff cause there was nowhere to store it there. There was no fridge or freezer or anything else I could use. And so I would just bring this stuff in and I'd make him me smoothies where I'd put fish oil in and Greens and load him up with supplements that he needed. Cause my gosh, when you're healing like that, he had 13 fractures and your brain is healing. You need to be, have heavy duty nutrient dense food and supplements like you don't, this is when you need the most of it. And the last thing you should be doing is eating white flour and you know, bad fats and sugar. Like are you kidding me? You know, we don't want to waste calories here. We've got to make every single thing counts. So I was getting wild salmon and bone Brah and Avocados. I mean I was just loading him up with stuff and thankfully once he started to eat he was a pretty good eater. But you know, at first it was mainly smoothies. Speaker 2: (22:41) Yeah, a new triple a was my best friend. That was a thing I could get into mum cause she could only draw. And this is really, really important that you talk about fish oils and there's a whole lot of other supplements that can really help with brain health. And this is not general knowledge. This is I did CBD oils. I did you know, fish oils anything that was anti-inflammatory, tumeric and things like this. What are some of the secret sauce things, if you like that you grant, and I know you hit them on high doses of fish oil. Speaker 3: (23:20) Well, high dose fish oil was definitely the biggest one that we did. They wouldn't let us do it right away. Now, here's what I would say is prior to the accident he was doing five grams of fish oil a day. I believe that that was one of the key things that helped him get through this because it protects your brain. You never know when your brain is going to get injured, right? And if you've got that on to begin with before it happens, you're going to be in better shape. So he had an on board to begin with. Then as soon as I could, the hospital refused to give him more than two grams. So as soon as he took out his feeding tube, which he spit out himself, then I started in. And so that's how I got the fish oil up. Speaker 3: (24:04) Cause I gave this the hospital, the studies and they refused. And the next thing I did was make sure that he had a lot of protein on board and good amino acids because, and that's why something like bone broth or adding Collagen, you need all of that so he can, he can heal. He had all these broken bones, he had so much healing to do and he was sarcopenia. Q had been catabolic from you know, being coma and then not moving and then being on a feeding tube. So I kicked his, his protein way up and I was giving him also these really good amino acids. Super you know, bioavailable. And then a lot of, I did vitamin D. Um, I couldn't give him k cause he was on Warfarin, which you know, it was a little bit, I just gave him vitamin D and then I gave him trying to think about curcumin Acetylcarnitine a ton of brain nutrients like I just through the brain nutrient book at him at the time CBD wasn't out yet. Speaker 3: (25:10) So it wasn't a thing. Otherwise I would absolutely do that. I gave him progesterone and topical progesterone and I don't know, cause the studies, I did it based on Donald's Donald Donald Stein's work out of Emory university on how they saw that reduce brain inflammation. I don't know if it did or not, but here's the thing, like, you know, people ask what worked and I go, I don't know cause I did everything I possibly could and I figured I did things based on what was the pathway, how would it work and what's the risk versus what's the reward, the risk. We're so low on progesterone versus the potential reward, you know, same with like Fischel. There's no, there's no risk there. The rewards way bigger. So I, that's how I just started dosing. Everything is risk versus reward. When we got him out of the hospital, then I could start hyperbaric. Speaker 3: (26:01) We did multiple rounds of stem cells. I think five rounds of, of stem cells. We thread doing stem cells straight into a spine. Wow. And we did a lot of neurofeedback and a lot of exercise, a lot of bringing, like to me, if you to pick one thing that is the most under and has the biggest impact, it's exercise, it raises something called BDNF Alpha. It's going to help you create, you know, create a new brain so to speak. So super important fact that yeah, this is, this is really important. Oh yeah. Yeah. One other thing we did obviously first in the hospital was to and then I wrote to him on this a couple times. Obviously, you know, sugar and gluten are gone, but we had him on a ketogenic diet because when you have a brain injury, your brain can't get glucose in, but it can use ketones for fuel. So, and you can use you can use exotic genus ketones if you have an issue not being able to do that where you're at, like based on what they're feeding. So there's other ways to do it, but that's what we did. Speaker 2: (27:11) Yeah. And those are all really important things. So exalted in as keen t times you can get and things like that. MCT Oils and Speaker 3: (27:18) Yup. Oh, an MCT oil. Yes, we use that. And coffee. You know, coffee has helped him a lot too. So coffee, MCT oil, lot of healthy fats, a lot of fish. Doesn't really, sugar doesn't eat gluten Speaker 2: (27:35) And, and all these things. And this is one of the things that I've, you know, cause I get asked a lot too, what was the one thing that you did it, it's a multifaceted approach. There's no, there's no silver bullet. Speaker 3: (27:50) There is one. Lisa, there is one silver bullet and I think this is the most important part of this story is the most important thing that you did was to make this decision that you are going to do everything you possibly could to help her. And relentless and to do what it takes. And that's the decision I made that night in the hospital. And I think the important takeaway is when you make that decision, there's the most important thing that you have in your arsenal in order to pull that off is you. And in order for you to help your mom come back, the thing you have to do before all else is make sure that you, you put yourself in your health first, that when you think about caretaking, you're the first person you take care of because you cannot help someone else unless you are like at the top of your game. And this is a tremendous amount of stress. And I find with so many people, they just stopped taking care of themselves. So super duper important when you look at this to take care of yourself first. Never feel guilty about it. It's actually selfless to do it. Not Selfish because then you can really show up like you need to. Speaker 2: (29:00) Yeah. Is, and that's something I probably didn't do too well for the first couple of years and ended up quite sick myself. And, and you know, it was its own journey, but that's a really important point because when you, you're, you pouring in, you're giving all the time, every day, all day. You know, I still work with my mum seven hours a day, even though like now she's driving the car and got a full driver's license and walking and doing everything again, I'm still like, you're like, I want that 110%. Speaker 3: (29:29) Oh goodness. At this point of what she went through and how far she's come. Speaker 2: (29:34) He has no recollection of the first 19 months. And so she can't believe. And I, you know, I show her the videos and the little, you know, photos and stories that we've got and she's just like, Nah, that's, that's, you know, I, I can't remember any of that. Or I was like, you're very lucky. You don't really cause it was horrific and it's really horrific to look at the, in the eyes of your loved one and they don't know who you are and they don't know what's happening to them. And then to actually see them come back into, be like fully like your whole personalities. The same. She's intelligent woman again. You know, it's just so wonderful. I remember the first time my mum actually rang me on the phone after, I don't know, a year and a half or something and I was just crying my eyes out because she'd worked out how to use the phone, you know, and she could, you know, just the little things like that, you just know, oh, this is working. Speaker 2: (30:28) And she's coming back. And the, the biggest thing I found too was that on the day to day grind, because it is a grind, it's a day to day battle of training that you, you don't see the progress often for months at a time. You will see nothing happening and things are happening on the cellular level, but you don't see them. And this is where most people give up in that time when you're in a plateau. And if you can push through that, then you can look back and all of a sudden you have another, you know, another little jump in your abilities. And you'd get something back and you'd look back and how far you've come. But when you measuring it on a day to day basis, you're not actually Speaker 3: (31:09) Never, you know, I say this to grant now because he's made some tremendous strides and he doesn't see it. I go, because grant, you don't go out and look at the grass everyday and go, wow, look how much the grass grew from today. But if you went out and looked at the grass f not cutting it for two weeks, you'll look at the grass. Holy Moly. So I go, you cannot, you're going to have to take my word for it. And people who are like seeing you once a week or once a month, you're never going to see this ever. And that's really how life is. Like, you know, everyone wants to have that success. They see the person with the bestselling book or you know, win the race and they think that that just happened and they don't see the grind. And so to me, the paralleling life life is a grind and it's a little consistency every single day that create what we see. Like, people look at grant, I'm sure they're looking at your mom and they go, it's a miracle. I go, it was really flipping grind. Speaker 2: (32:10) A lot of miracle is fricking hard work. It is. And, and this is something that fascinated me with your story too because okay, I'm not as, as amazingly successful as you are. And but you had to continue your career. You keep writing your books. I remember you saying, you know, sitting on the side of your son's bed and trying to get your needs, you, your book out, which was at that very same time sort of thing. And Speaker 3: (32:36) I remember a sweet woman wrote in, posted on my Facebook page and she goes, don't worry about your job. It will be waiting for you. And I thought, yeah no app won't actually the New York publishers, that will be that, you know, it's like I have a, I have a book, I have everything invested in it. If it doesn't go, I will not get another book deal and I'll be bankrupt and then I will not be able to take care of my son. And so, you know, I don't have a job waiting for me. I run my own business. If I'm not there, it's not happening. And so there wasn't that option. There just was that, that realization that if I want my son to be 110%, I'm going to need to be even more successful because this is not free. You know? And a lot of this stuff that you do, like hyperbaric [inaudible] never covered that stem cells insurance never covered that. Speaker 3: (33:33) You know? So it's like, so many of the things that I was doing, insurance just didn't cover. You know, we had he had heavy metal poisoning from some of the stuff and insurance didn't cover that. I mean, just thing after thing after thing. Right. So it, you know, you just, you just do it. You have to do. And it's amazing what we have a capacity to do, you know? Yes. And I, I think for so many people, they're not where they want to be in life because they make success optional. And it wasn't optional here. Right. I mean, in order for me to do what I needed to do for my son, success was no longer an option. It was required in order for me to have what I needed to be able to take him, get him what he needed. And so that was that. Speaker 2: (34:24) Yeah. And you had to stay absolute. This is where the mindset stuff really, really kicks in. And I think because you know both you know, running your own companies and you, you have a huge city successful empire now, but it's the combination and years and years and years of work. And if you dropped the ball for five minutes, when you run your own company, that can be the, you know, it's, that cycle wasn't, as I said difficult to coordinate all this stuff. So you have to, I would have to work with mum all day and then I would come home at eight o'clock at night and work til one in the morning in. This is where I burnt out of course working on my businesses and then, you know, wake up at six in the morning and re repeat rinse. And repeat for day in, day out, seven days a week for the last, you know, four years nearly. Speaker 2: (35:17) In prior to that, it wasn't exactly not working either. You know, like you were still working like mad and it costs a lot of money to rehabilitate someone. I mean, we, we didn't have a hyperbaric er clinic over here at all, so I had to go into commercial dive company and begged them to be able to use their their chambers. And then I got xs for a little while and then it had to be taken off on a contract. So I had to mortgage the House and buy a hyperbaric chamber, a mild one. And then I actually opened up a clinic because I was such a success. Speaker 3: (35:50) Of course you did because you're an entrepreneur. Exactly. Speaker 2: (35:54) And I want to be able to have access to this planet. I'm so good on now. So someone else's running it, but people have access to it. And hyperbaric as a, as one of the key things that I just do not understand why it's not an every hospital in every country of the world. Why this is not often for so many things is because I know no lemon drug money behind it. And this is just tragic for so many people that could be helped by this amazing therapy if they would take it, you know, have enough treatments. So there's a lot of things wrong with the system, not only in America, but in New Zealand. So what would be your advice to people if they're facing something like a brain injury or anything in the hospital if they've got a loved one? How do you know, how do people, I mean, we have access to the Internet. We have resources. We know how to research. We know how to, you know, take action. A lot of people listen to the doctors, either experts and just leave it all up to them. That really isn't gonna work as it. Speaker 3: (37:00) So the doctors, the hospital saved my son's life. And literally put him back together again. And I think what we do wrong here is that we, they are, they're amazing at trauma. And at that piece of it, what they weren't, and they told me they go, this is not our part. We don't do the Rehab. We don't do this piece. They are in the urgent emergent here. Like these bones are broken. The say orders rupture. Like what, what do we need to do? And so just making sure that you're, like, for some reason we think of say a emergency room doctor is not where I would absolutely go if my son broke his leg is not the person I would go to if my son's moods were unstable or if he, you know, didn't have the energy he needed to have. Like we're going, we're assuming that they do everything. Speaker 3: (37:57) And when you really look at it, that is this trauma care, you know, and there's trauma care and then there's disease care and then there's health care or wellness care and there are all different things. But yet we go to two doctors expecting like expecting them to have all the answers, which doesn't make any sense. You'd never go to a gynecologist with a tooth problem. Right. You know, I mean it just, you wouldn't go to your hairstylist for a manicure. Like let's, let's put people ask the right things of the right people because in their zone of genius, like it's amazing. I mean, my son wouldn't be here except for some of these amazing at Harbor UCLA and at Children's Hospital La, you know, I mean they were just incredible. But then we expect them to all of a sudden change gears and do a part of medicine that's not their part. Speaker 3: (38:47) And I'd argue that health care really, you know, the wellness side of it probably isn't, that's not where they should even, that's not their part, their parts trauma and disease. Right. Those are different. So I think the first part of all of this though is just making that decision that you're going to be an advocate for your or your loved one. And I know in the hospital they were like, oh my gosh, cause I'd be there every morning when the grand rounds came through and I was doing my research and I was pulling in my expert opinions and I was getting help and I was, and I was walking through and I wanted to understand it. And I have every right to do that, you know, and, and guess what, we have the right to ask for more information to question things, to bring in other ideas. Speaker 3: (39:36) We can do that. They don't, you know, they like it though. So we, yeah. Well, you know what if someone, I actually had, I had amazing relationships with most of them. I've, I, you know, one woman who was a bit snotty. But for the most part they actually were pretty cool about all the stuff. And I finally at Children's Hospital La, the meetings, which would have all the doctors and therapists had, me too. I go, you know, I see. I know things you guys will never know because you are not the mom. Like, so I got into all the meetings and we all helped guide the care because, you know, and it was very, very different. So I think it's really coming in from a spirit of teamwork and how can we work together? If I've got a doctor who doesn't want to work with any other doctors, that is not going to be my doctor. Just like, like right now, I just moved to Tampa, we're remodeling the house. And if I'm, I, you know, we have an architect, well, if the, if the person who's going to do the construction doesn't want to work with the architect, we don't have a, we don't have anything going on. Like they're not going to work together. Right. With the doctors. Like they all have to work together. And this is just expectations and don't let someone intimidate you. You're the customer. Yes. You're exactly right. You know? Yeah. Speaker 2: (40:52) Him and I did by the, you know, I think we put doctors on a pedestal sometimes, which I mean they're amazing, you know, intellectual incredible people, but they don't always know every answer there is in, just because you don't have a doctorate doesn't mean that you haven't been able to research stuff and find the best doctors that can help you. And you've also got a brain in your head and you, and you're sitting there 24, seven or you know, your family is around the clock with that person. They can see the changes where a doctor hadn't, he has five minutes to spend with you before they move on to the next one. Speaker 3: (41:27) Quite often we can see, give them valuable. I had a son with a psych disorder with a brain injury. Yeah. And so I was like going, you know, I can tell you what's new and what's old and where like they would never have been able to tell any of that stuff and what he'd been on before and what worked and what didn't work and where we need to go from here. And I mean that it was a big learning curve and I could spot when things were starting to go sideways with them. Like I could see it right in the middle of his forehead. They could not see it. I go right now, you know, so cause we had to medicate him enough to keep him calm and stable but not so much as bring wouldn't heal. So I mean there's, there's just a lot that can happen when everyone comes as a team and you know, it comes from what I want is an Improv called the yes. And you know, instead of the yes, but philosophies. So, and that's what I found is for the most part, they all worked in the, yes. And especially when I got to children's Hospital La, they were very collaborative. They took it team approach. Everyone from the nurses to the therapist to the docs all had, you know, important things to say and it mattered. [inaudible] Speaker 2: (42:38) Well, and it's amazing that [inaudible] grant is now back into life and loving life again and fully well and like you, let's talk a little bit about your mind share summit in your, you know, the work that you do. Cause I want people to, you know, that are listening to this to follow what you do, to read your box, to hop online and learn all about you. So JJ, tell us a little bit about your mind share stuff and what you're into at the moment and where you're going with your career. Speaker 3: (43:07) Well my career I've probably got two more books that I'm going to write in the health space. Wow. one much more on how a cure a kind of a caretaker's guide to surviving and thriving. Because that's what really came out of all this with warrior mom is that this really is like we're all caretakers. And then one about really how to, how diets do work were just using them wrong and how to, how to navigate your health. Cause we don't, you know, we don't change our health. We, we haven't been feeling rotten and being sick for 10 years and now we're going to change it in 10 days. You know, it's like takes, it's a process. And what we can accomplish in anything over a year is amazing, but we all try to do it in a week and then beat ourselves up. So working on those two things. Speaker 3: (44:00) But my real passion now lies in fact that I have been fortunate over the years to know so many amazing practitioners and doctors and so I've really devoted my life to helping them identify their messages and their purpose and get that out to the world and then find other people to collaborate with. So that's what mindshare summit is, is bringing health care people, health experts, doctors help entrepreneurs together. They can share ideas, support each other collaborate, not feel alone like so many entrepreneurs do. And that's really kind of my bigger, bigger mission now is how do I help people have better resources? When I was in the hospital with grant, I had amazing resources. And you know, now that the Internet's out there, you don't have to be able to send Dr. Daniel Amen. A text message. You can now get to this information. And that's, that's what I want to see out there is more easy access to information so that when these things happen, you can just plug it in and find out. And, you know, biggest threat we have to all of that right now is, is Google and the search engines trying to dictate what you should be able to locate and find. So we're also working on that piece to make sure that, you know, this information stays open to all and it's not censored, which is so obscene. Huh? Speaker 2: (45:30) Well, yeah. Now how do we get involved with that? Can we get involved with that? You know, from New Zealand's, because I mean, I'm very passionate too about sharing this knowledge. And this is one of the reasons why I've got this book coming out is because I want people to have the tools that I didn't have when I went into this situation. Yeah. And I, I, you know, I got access to it via the Internet. You know, is there ways that we can be involved with that from New Zealand? Speaker 3: (45:57) Which one, which, you know, mind share is, is if you are a health expert doctor, entrepreneur, yes. Mindshare collaborative.com gives you a place to join. It's a membership and then within that we're working on a task force for the rest of this. Cause you know, it's like the whole thing is how do you create information that everyone has access to so that money isn't, isn't the defining line as to whether you can get healthy or not. And you know, the Internet should be the great equalizer. It shouldn't be. All of a sudden you find out that these bigger companies have grand schemes because they own pharmaceutical companies and now they're going to keep the information from you. Like it just, it just is discounted. Really. Yes. It's evil. It's evil. But I think it's, it sounds like it's going to get shut down. If not, you know, there's other options out there. That's hopefully what we get through here with this group Speaker 2: (46:56) And with the box and so on. So JJ, before, just as we wrap up as you, any messages that you want to get across that we've, we've covered a lot of ground today. I know that you've worked on, I did want to mention the broken brain series, which I've bought and, and devoured the, the work that those doctors and professionals are doing. This has been a really important thing. I think that's a huge resource. If I'd had that four years ago, we've been brilliant, you know? Speaker 3: (47:26) Yes. Oh my gosh. But mark Hyman and drew per it have put together an amazing, Mark's been a longtime friend for like 20 years. You know, he's, he's just doing incredible things. Anyone with any kind of brain stuff going on, broken brain is just incredible resource source for you know, loads of interviews, et cetera. And then drew continues with this broken brain podcast. So there's that too. Speaker 2: (47:52) It on jury's podcast. Maybe you can put on a good or on your thoughts for that, that her with the [inaudible] stories. Speaker 3: (47:58) Well, yeah, you have to be in person. You must be in La to do. Yeah. So there's that. But the point is there's a lot of resources. I think the most important thing is that first, you know, when you look at what happens in life, it isn't like a, I'll give you an example. Let's say that you want to have a new sofa in your living room. Use something as mundane as that. The first thing you have to do is envision that you want a sofa in your living room. Then you go out and find the sofa you don't like all of a sudden, you know, a sofa pops in and then you envision it. It always happens in your mind's eye first, right? Yep. So same with this. If, if, when I was facing this situation with grant, the first thing was in my mind's eye, I saw him at 110%. Speaker 3: (48:47) I saw him getting through this. Now anywhere along the line, something could have happened. He nearly died multiple times, but I knew that I was doing everything humanly possible and beyond that to help him get there. And that's what I, you know, that's what I could do. I could manage my mindset and do everything possible on my, on my end to do that. And I think that's really important is we create it first in our mind. Thoughts create. It's very powerful. It's amazing what we can do. So manage your mindset because it's the first thing that you have control over that and commit and make a decision into the situation and always push past what you think is possible. Which was why I said 110%, you know, versus Oh, I just want grant to be alive. Grant just being alive could have been grant in a wheelchair unable to talk or see or hear or anything. So, you know, go for it, go big for it and then go for the resources to make it happen. Speaker 2: (49:50) Well I think that's a beautiful place to wrap it up. JJ, thank you so much for being such a warrior for being such an a fantastic mum. And being such an amazing role model for other people going through these, these sorts of journeys takes for all the work you do in this area with broken brain, with, with all the books that you have out with the nutrition stuff that you do. We can people find you online and buy bio books and know more about JJ. Speaker 3: (50:21) Pretty easy. JJ Virgin, www.jjvirgin.com. Speaker 2: (50:29) Fantastic. Thank you so much for your time today. I really appreciate it. And I wish you son grant and Bryce of course all the best in the future and it'd be amazing to see what they do with the, with your mom too. She's got a, she's super lucky to have you as a daughter, Huh? He's a beautiful mom. I'll send you a book when it comes out. And yeah, it's, it's very special stories. Both of these and these stories are really important to share because it gives other people hope. And the biggest piece of the puzzle we've heard today is your mindset. And they never ever give up and that you throw everything in to the pot. You can't the universe, but you can control what you do. I think that was the biggest takeaway from today. I very much enjoyed today. Thank you. 

Perfect-Time Line for a House Flip (030) Steven Butala:                   Steve and Jill here. Jill DeWit:                            Hello. Steven Butala:                   Welcome to the House Academy show, entertaining real estate investment talk. I'm Steven Jack Butala. Jill DeWit:                            And I'm Jill DeWit, broadcasting from sunny southern California. Steven Butala:                   Today, Jill and I talk about the perfect timeline for a house flip and I can guarantee you that we have different opinions on this. Jill DeWit:                            I know. Right before this show, I said, "Hey, hold on a minute, Steven. I would like to share with you my timeline just to make sure we're on the same page," and Steven replied with, "It really doesn't matter. We can get into an argument right here if you want to." I'm like, "Okay," because I know I have my timeline and you have yours. Steven Butala:                   I sure do. Jill DeWit:                            You know what's funny, is I think people would probably guess that mine is more forgiving and I think they would be surprised. Steven Butala:                   Yeah. Before we get into the topic, let's take a question posted by one of our members on the houseacademy.com online community, it's free. Jill DeWit:                            Mary asks, "I just received a 22 unit rental house group of houses from a mailer. Rental house group. Does this happen to you and how should I proceed?" Go back. What a 22- Steven Butala:                   I think she means ... she means that she sent a mail campaign out and somebody responded and said, "Hey, not only do I want to sell you this house, but I have 21 other houses that are all rented out. How about you just buy all of them and get me out of this nightmare landlord position I've created for myself?" Jill DeWit:                            Now that makes sense. All right. How would you recommend she proceeds? Steven Butala:                   Well, you know, those things can be ... The good news is that you generated the deal. You didn't go on the MLS and try to undo it, so you got there first. That's the good news. But I personally ... We get these probably every month and I've never done one because there's always real good houses in a portfolio and real bad ones and that's just not our business model. Steven Butala:                   We have a real specific acquisition criteria and a real specific business model and we just churn it constantly. So there's a small chance that 22 ... There's 22 houses this guy has that are rented and they're reasonably priced and they don't need a ton of work. There's a small chance of that, but my experience has been landlords either stay in the business and they work it out or they don't. Jill DeWit:                            Right. Steven Butala:                   So I'm not knocking it and I would actually- Jill DeWit:                            And they're usually jumping for a reason. Steven Butala:                   If I've got a 22 unit deal in, and we just got one that was eight units in just recently, I looked at them all, I analyzed them as if I was going to buy them and we didn't get into the inspection point because half of the portfolio was in a really bad neighborhood. So, I just said ... And he didn't want to separate them out, which is typical. I understand that. Jill DeWit:                            I have one that was so funny too. Well, I had one like this where the gentleman, he knew that there were problems and he kept saying, "Are you sure you want to buy?" What's funny is I didn't pick up on the red flags and his hesitation. He knew we were going down this path and he knew darn well I wasn't going to pull the trigger because I was a professional. Then at the end when I said, "Yeah, we're not buying this," he's like, "I'm not surprised." It was so funny. He's like, "I know. I kind of thought that. I wish you all the best." I said, "Thank you. You too." Steven Butala:                   They can work, but you got to be set up for them. I'd rather get 22 single unit deals in. This is the exact opposite with land, by the way. When we get a 22 unit dealing on land, everybody jumps up and down around the office, especially if it's all in one county and the offers are signed. But with houses, they're in all guaranteed different situations. Especially if they're rentals. Today's topic, the perfect timeline for a house flip. This is why you're listening. Jill DeWit:                            Smarty pants, I want you to go first. Steven Butala:                   Jill and I renovated exactly two houses in our careers investments, before we said never ever again would we renovate, actually physically renovate, or rehab a house to resell it. The first one cash in, cash out took 45 days and we made about $28,000 and I just about wanted jump off a bridge. When you really look back on it, 45 days as smashingly awesome with escrow, in and out. We sold it for cash to this Canadian woman, the nicest lady ever. It was the most atrociously awful experience I've ever had, which is good, you got to have those to devise another system. Steven Butala:                   So by anybody's measure, cash in, cash out on a house sake for 45 days, it's great. By mine, it's atrocious. So we do a lot of front end works. I do a lot of front end work to pick a market by zip code or by subdivision to make Jill's life on the sell side really easy, where there's days on market are less than 30 days. Steven Butala:                   So the perfect timeline for the wholesale deal that we do is three weeks cash in, cash out, three weeks and we cleared more than 25,000 bucks. That's a perfect deal for us. Do we ever hit those? Yeah. Steven Butala:                   We just had a house, it took almost four or five months to sell because we retail it out and we all knew that. We also made 80,000 bucks on it, $70,000 or $80,000. so it depends on the deal, is my answer but if it's a regular, good, take it into possession, wholesale deal for us. Three weeks. Jill DeWit:                            We're on the same page. Steven Butala:                   Really? Jill DeWit:                            Well here's how I broke it down, though. Let me tell you, I went one step further. I wasn't talking about doing a renovation. I'm talking about a flip, the way we flip, which is we don't do anything to it. I don't even sweep. So I want to be cash in, cash out in two weeks, because we've done this, this isn't ... you said perfect, I came up with perfect because we have done this. I want 30 days in a perfect scenario that the offer comes in, to cash out 30, days. Jill DeWit:                            Let me tell you how this works. So day one, the sign offer letter comes in, we are on it, we're out there that day, or the next day we get the inspection, we open escrow, we are doing everything perfect. Then on day 15, that's when we're cash in because we're closing on the buy side. So that's when I'm putting the money in. Then a perfect world, day 16 I had an open house- Steven Butala:                   Wow Jill, you've got to [inaudible 00:06:13]. Jill DeWit:                            We've done this, you said perfect, I'm giving you what's possible. So don't please don't beat yourself up if you don't have the exact dates. This is not the norm. Steven Butala:                   You're talking to me or the listener? Jill DeWit:                            The listener. Please don't beat yourself up listener, if you don't have this exactly. This is the exception, not the rule. We have done it. So okay, so letter comes in, day 15 I close on the buy side, now I'm cash in. Day 16, because I was all ready to go, I knew on day 13, 14, 15 I'm getting this open house ready to advertise and push a button and hold it now fast. Jill DeWit:                            I have investors lined up ready to go and show up. So now on day 16, I've had my open house. I've got six investors in there that I've worked with before, or maybe I've haven't worked with them before. I've got six serious investors in though because we've been talking for the last week and a half getting ready for this so I told them what was coming. They're in there, they're walking it, they know time kills deals. Jill DeWit:                            So that night I'm entertaining offers, the next day, now day ... So that was 15, day 16, so they're like day 17 let's just say, I'm reopening escrow and then in a perfect world, on day 30 I'm closing on the sell side. Why can I do it that fast? Because I'm working with investors, they are also cash people and I did a hold up in policy so the back side went even faster. Steven Butala:                   Two things have to happen. Jill nailed one of them. The person that you're selling it to is a professional real estate investor, they want to have it done as fast as you do because they want to get in there and rip it all apart and get it back on the market all cleaned up. Steven Butala:                   Number two, and this is a little more tricky, is you have to have a seasoned escrow, slash title agent, slash closing lawyer on a short leash. That's a little harder to do, but once you're in the market for a while and you've been doing some deals, you should be able to find a perfect situation. Or at some point soon here, you're going be able to use Title Nine to do it. Jill DeWit:                            Exactly. Exactly. How's that? Steven Butala:                   So thirty days cash in, cash out. Jill DeWit:                            No, actually that was ... No, 30 days from the letter coming in and going out. I'm talking- Steven Butala:                   Oh okay. So we're saying the same thing. Jill DeWit:                            It's like 15 ... You said three weeks, I said two weeks. Steven Butala:                   So cash in cash out, for me is three weeks- Jill DeWit:                            Cash in. Steven Butala:                   ... but it takes a week before you have to put the cash in. When you get that letter, it's ... We're saying the same thing. Jill DeWit:                            Yeah. So cash in cash out is less. Steven Butala:                   For land out, we were getting reports back from some of our members that they're closing deals in three days with lawyers because with land there's no real due diligence. "Yep. I want to buy it. I can clearly see that this is exactly what I want." Jill DeWit:                            Exactly. I don't need to walk in it and feel it and be there. Steven Butala:                   We are forever talking about the pros and cons of buying and selling land versus houses forever on both shows. There's pros and cons to all of it. Jill DeWit:                            I have to share something which is interesting me, that I had never heard of this before. So it's a long ... This is a shining example of why we want to do it our way versus the other way, like going the long real estate way. I have a really sweet friend who's an agent in our area and she just held a twilight listing, a twilight open house. I didn't even know that was a thing. Steven Butala:                   What is that? Jill DeWit:                            It's where ... and she hired a band, had it catered and everything. So people could come and view the home- Steven Butala:                   She had a party. Jill DeWit:                            ... at sunset, to see what is possible in this home. Not just walking through and going, "Yeah, I like it. It's a great view. It's got the bedrooms I want, the bathroom I want, maybe I'm going to change the carpet," whatever. No, it was a whole twilight ... Steven Butala:                   Why didn't we get invited? Jill DeWit:                            We were invited. Steven Butala:                   Why didn't we go? Jill DeWit:                            We were busy, we couldn't go. We had people in town and we couldn't go. Steven Butala:                   That's awesome that I don't know any of this. Jill DeWit:                            You know what, actually that might've been our move day. Now I think about it. I think it was a move day. Steven Butala:                   Thank you for not letting me know any of this. Jill DeWit:                            Yeah, you're welcome. Honestly, we were invited. I would have liked to go, but I think it was move day and I couldn't go. I'm staring at boxes and I have Russian men in my living room and a lot of boxes, I can't go. Steven Butala:                   You like that? Jill DeWit:                            No. Steven Butala:                   Oh you don't like to have Russian men in your living room? Jill DeWit:                            No, I mean, you know what it's like. Who loves moving day? Nobody loves moving day. Anyway, but the end result of moving day, as you can see, was pretty good. It worked out okay. Steven Butala:                   We moved up, not down. Jill DeWit:                            But we missed our twilight listing. So my point was though, you want the perfect deal just get in, get out. Steven Butala:                   Did she sell the house? Jill DeWit:                            It's under contract right now. So yes, that did- Steven Butala:                   So did it work? Jill DeWit:                            Actually she did. Steven Butala:                   It really worked? Jill DeWit:                            Yeah it did. I thought I told you that. I'm sorry I didn't share with you. Steven Butala:                   I'm sure you did, I'm sure I [inaudible 00:10:36]. Hey, we know your time's valuable. Thanks for spending some of it with us today. Join us next time for another interesting episode. Jill DeWit:                            And we answer your questions posted on our online community found on houseacademy.com and it is free. Steven Butala:                   You are not alone in your real estate ambition. You know what I heard people also that people do on these high end houses? Is they make a movie. Jill DeWit:                            Yeah. Steven Butala:                   Like a short little eight minute movie about ... With characters and stuff in a [crosstalk 00:11:03]. Jill DeWit:                            Oh, I haven't seen that. Steven Butala:                   They shoot all the scenes in the house and stuff. Jill DeWit:                            Showing like the beautiful, perfect Christmas morning opening presents around the tree? Steven Butala:                   You know, you just wrote the script in your head. Jill DeWit:                            All right. Steven Butala:                   The ones that I've seen didn't involve houses. It involved having a little dinner party, almost like a little music video. Jill DeWit:                            Well she did a version of a dinner party. She did a party like, "Here's what you could have here at this house," and I think I worked. Jill DeWit:                            Wherever you're watching, or wherever you're listening, please subscribe and rate us there. Jill DeWit:                            We are Steve and Jill. Steven Butala:                   We are Steve and Jill. Information ... Jill DeWit:                            And inspiration ... Steven Butala:                   To buy undervalued property.  

In this episode, Sammie continues our relationship "crash course" series and covers more questions that students (and adults!) frequently ask.We talk about these four questions:What role should my parents play in my dating life?What happens if I'm rejected?What happens If I've already messed up?How do you even start building a healthy relationship?Things we mentioned in this episode:Episode 4: Relationship FAQ, Part 1 Sammie's StoryThe Next Right think by Emily P. FreemanTime Magazine Study On MarriageBe sure to stay up to date with Abundant Life: You Were Made for More by visiting our blog. Send guest recommendations to us! We love y'all! Thanks for tuning in, and don't forget to follow us on social media :-)FacebookTwitterInstagram

Gold is in the Follow Up (HA 017) Transcript: Steven Butala:                   Steve and Jill here. Jill DeWit:                            Good day. Steven Butala:                   Welcome to the House Academy Show, entertaining real estate investment talk. I'm Steven Jack Butala. Jill DeWit:                            And I'm Jill DeWit, broadcasting from sunny, southern California. Steven Butala:                   Today Jill and I talk bout how the gold is in the follow-up. Jill DeWit:                            Oh, yes, it is. Steven Butala:                   Such a simple sentence, isn't it? Jill DeWit:                            It is. It sounds like, duh. Well, for some people, it's probably duh. For some people, let's just say that. For some it's like, what does that mean? I didn't know. What is good follow-up? Well, we can help you. Steven Butala:                   Is there such a thing as too much follow-up? Jill DeWit:                            No-o-o. Steven Butala:                   That's what I think too. I don't think you can do too much, like every hour. Jill DeWit:                            Well, let's put it this way. Depending on whether you're on the buy side or the sell side. Is my deed done yet? Is my deed done yet? Is the deed done yet? That's too much. You don't ever want to be in that position. I'm like, did you make the payment yet? Did you make the payment yet? So be chill. Think about it like dating. You don't want to scare them away. Steven Butala:                   There's definitely too much follow-up in dating. Jill DeWit:                            Yeah, right? He's not texting me. He's not texting me. Steven Butala:                   You know what? This is a great way to talk about this topic. Jill DeWit:                            Like dating. This is great. This is perfect. What's appropriate follow-up after a first date and what's appropriate follow-up after you get contact from a seller? We can help. Steven Butala:                   Yeah, okay. Go ahead, go ahead. I want to hear this. Jill DeWit:                            Well, you want to do this show? Steven Butala:                   Yeah, okay. I'll say the question first. Before we get into it, let's take a question posted buy one of our members on the houseacademy.com online community. It's free. Jill DeWit:                            I like when you get excited about mu dating advice. It's funny. Steven Butala:                   Because I know it's right. Jill DeWit:                            Thank you. I can save a lot of people outside of this show, too. Andrew says, "Do you ever use skiptracing and texting to owners or do you just mail them?" Good question. Steven Butala:                   That's a great question, Andrew. We, at the moment, at this moment of recording this show, we are exclusively direct mail. Direct mail blind offer campaigns with pricing. We own a company called ParcelFact which helps you find real estate regardless of whether or not it has an address. A lot of land out there does not yet have a USPS postal address so it's tough to find it. We solve that whole problem with ParcelFact, so you look up a property and you've got all the information you could ever dream of. Jill DeWit:                            Land or houses. Steven Butala:                   Yeah, land or houses right how. Wouldn't it be great if you could just click on something and click on a button and send them a text message? And then click on the person next door, get all the information, send them a text message? Jill DeWit:                            Or email. Steven Butala:                   Yeah, so, that's all in the works. The developers have been hired. It's all been scoped out, so when that gets released, it'll be released for House Academy members and Land Academy members. We're probably, conservatively, 60 days away. That's funny it actually came up in this show because can you imagine? Sending out letters, then sending them a text message saying, hey, I just want to make sure you got my offer? Or, hey, I know that you live right next door to X, Y, Z address. We just bought that property and we don't want to take it to market yet. Do this by text message. Are you interested in buying it for X? We can save a lot of time and money. So there's huge implications for all this, and I'm very, very excited about it. This type of tech project is right up my alley. Jill DeWit:                            Just that we all know, I love your statistic about the percentage of people that buy a property, houses in the neighborhood are within, is it one mile? Steven Butala:                   Within one mile. 50%. Jill DeWit:                            It's always your neighbor, your family member, people want to move closer. That's traditional, so all you do i, what Steven's working on for us is, you'll be able to draw a mile and blast out a text. How great is that? You don't even have to post it for sale. Steven Butala:                   Here's some staggering numbers. Between 17 and 20% of the people in this country move every year. So 20% of the population in this country moves. Jill DeWit:                            Amazing. Steven Butala:                   About 50% of this country owns their own home, so when you do the numbers on that, it's amazing how many people move. It's no wonder real estate agents make so much money. About 48 to 50% of the properties that sell, the SFR's that sell, are sold to somebody who has friends and family of another SFR within a one-mile radius. So think about how staggeringly powerful that is, to get this skiptracing email. We've been doing it with direct mail, taking advantage of this data for a real long time. I'm so excited now that technology finally has caught up so we can implement these old school concepts about buying and selling real estate with new technology. Jill DeWit:                            Let's get it out there faster. Steven Butala:                   Yup. Today's topic, the Gold is in the Follow-up. This is why you're listening. Jill DeWit:                            Okay. Do you want to hear about the dating philosophy first or the business philosophy first? Steven Butala:                   I specifically want to know when it is appropriate to call a girl after you went out to dinner with her and you think it worked. You're a guy and you think that the whole thing kind of worked and you want to have date number two. How long do you wait? Jill DeWit:                            I personally think that a little message that night would be okay, is acceptable, like a little text. Not an hour-long phone call, but just like a, I had a great time, I can't wait to see you again kind of thing. Then maybe the next day or the day after, when you have something special lined up for the date you say, hey, I'm just about to push the button on tickets to go see X, Y, Z band Saturday night. Are you available? What's so funny? Steven Butala:                   This is how much I must have screwed up our first experience. Jill DeWit:                            Thank goodness I could see through all that, babe. Steven Butala:                   All right. So you go see this band, and what happens? Together. Jill DeWit:                            Right, together. Keep in mind, hopefully, you both are dating several people. So that's the thing too. You want to know right away, for the girl too, the woman, if we think there was a connection, it's nice to know that you thought there was a connection too. That we're not just sitting there laying in bed going, am I reading too much into this, kind of thing, when they say you know what? I had a really nice time and I can't wait to see you again. Even though hopefully, you ended the conversation like that, you just like a little follow-up. Then you really do follow-up with something good. We don't need the flowers two days later or stuff like that. Steven Butala:                   Here's why guys don't follow that protocol, and I understand exactly why you're saying that, because more than half the time it's going to result in this deluge of text messages from this girl. Jill DeWit:                            Oh, well, I understand, and that's a whole separate conversation. This is for you. Then I have to have a separate closed-door conversation with all the women and to say, knock it off. This is why you need to up your numbers. Again, a whole other conversation. Steven Butala:                   All right. So that's Jill's socially accepted man-follow-up texting. Is is okay this day and age, since everything is so equalized for women, to say, hey, I had a great time and I'm buying some concert tickets. Jill DeWit:                            No. Not in a new relationship, I wouldn't, because you'd scare the guy away. It's still a bit of the man's role and the woman's role and if a woman reached out... Unfortunately it's too often women are thought of as being overly assertive and so I don't think that we can do that. Do you agree? Steven Butala:                   I don't know. It honestly depends on the person. The vast majority of the stuff like this that I've been involved in, obviously, long before you, has just ended in a fiery ball of disaster. Jill DeWit:                            You know where I think it goes sideways. It gets into this conversation, what about this and what about that? What about this and what about that? Someone's got to end the conversation, too. Sometimes it's the hardest part. Like, I've got to go to sleep now. You're afraid to go dark but one of you has to go dark. Steven Butala:                   You're one of the very few people on the planet that I've ever met, very few women, that is incredibly comfortable with her gender and you embrace your gender and you just don't take it too far. You don't try to be a guy or you don't try to be like the biggest fluffy type girly-girl there ever was. Jill DeWit:                            Thank you. Steven Butala:                   I really mean it. That's a huge compliment. Jill DeWit:                            I appreciate that. Steven Butala:                   It's very, very unique. Jill DeWit:                            Thank you. Steven Butala:                   It's hard to find, Jill. Jill DeWit:                            Thank you. Steven Butala:                   All right. So a guy calls- Jill DeWit:                            We'll get to this topic here in a minute. Steven Butala:                   You send a mailer. A house mailer. Jill DeWit:                            Okay. Steven Butala:                   We're going to ask the same question. Do you mind if I ask you this? You send a mailer out, a bunch of house mailers out. Offers. Guy calls you back. Jill DeWit:                            Seller? Steven Butala:                   Seller calls you back and says, I just talked to my wife and we are going to sell the house. We're going to retire early. What's the next step? Jill DeWit:                            We need to put the plan in place. Let's agree on what we're doing. We're going to agree on the price, we're going to agree on the terms. Steven Butala:                   Well, he's got an offer price right there. Jill DeWit:                            Did he agree on it? Steven Butala:                   I'm asking you. What do you say to him? Jill DeWit:                            Does that price work for you? Steven Butala:                   Okay. Good. Here we go. Jill DeWit:                            I mean, that's really where we're going. Steven Butala:                   All right. We're getting somewhere. Jill DeWit:                            If he says heck, yes, and then my next thing is, awesome, I want to come out and see it. And if it's not me, it's my team. Boots on the ground. Steven Butala:                   How fast should that happen? Jill DeWit:                            Not that day but like the next day. Maybe that day. I don't know. How about this? It happens as quickly as the seller is open to it. You know what? I've got something going on this weekend. Could we do it on Tuesday? The answer is yes. Steven Butala:                   Okay, here's the kicker. Okay, so you go see this thing and everybody says yup. BOG says yeah, the boots on the ground say yes, we say yes. The seller's wife calls back and says, because this happens often- Jill DeWit:                            Wait a minute. I have a couple of points that are going to address some of this stuff. But keep going with your question. Steven Butala:                   The seller's wife calls back and says, you know, we thought about it and we just don't want to sell. Now is not the right time. Jill DeWit:                            Then you screwed up somewhere in the process. Steven Butala:                   Wow, Jill, that's awesome. Jill DeWit:                            It's true. Steven Butala:                   You're so good at this. Jill DeWit:                            Thank you. If you show up and you did exactly as it says. You're going to be there on Tuesday, and you already told them on Tuesday, great, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to come out on Tuesday. I'm going to take some preliminary pictures. I'll just have you show me around. I want to just see what you said this needs work and that needs work. Jill DeWit:                            While there, I'll pick up the purchase agreement while there, make sure you guys have signed it, done, and have some dates already on the calender that we can schedule the inspection. Great, that's fantastic. So the guy already knows I'm going to come out, I'm going to do those three things. Purchase agreement, take some pictures, meet him, shake his hand, by the way, and schedule the inspection. Jill DeWit:                            The process is already started. I've already got him mentally committing to this. If you don't do that, that's where you drop the ball because they don't have time to even think about backing out because it's already like, this is great. We know what's happening next. So then, on Tuesday I show up on time, maybe with muffins or cookies or something, I don't know. And I do exactly what I say. Like, hi, thank you. I'm here, I've got my cell phone, whatever, I'm taking pictures, oh, perfect, you got that signed. Thank you very much. Jill DeWit:                            And then, hey, so what days do you guys think are best, and I'll call my inspection guy right now while I'm here with you so we can make sure it all works out for everybody and get that all lined up. Don't forget, by the way, you don't pay a thing for any of that. This is all on my dime. Awesome. How are they going to have time to rethink this? It's already happening. Steven Butala:                   I'm actually floored right now because I know you guys do a lot of stuff on the other side of the company. It's truly, you're right, they can't say no when you approach it this way. Jill DeWit:                            Let me tell you why I'm so confident about this and what this means to me. The gold is in the follow-up for a couple of reasons. Number one, time does kill deals, so if I let a lapse in there where they don't know what I'm doing, I don't know if they're half in. Is she really going to follow through? She says she wants to buy it but we haven't heard from her in three days. I don't know. Now we're going to pick up the phone and start calling and shopping on our deal because this person thinks this offer went dark. As far as they're concerned, I went dark. Jill DeWit:                            So I've got to be on it and have a plan and follow through and don't let too much time pass, number one. And if I ever miss one of their phone calls, you better believe I'm calling back right away. If they call me for any reason, and that goes into my step two, my goal is in the follow-up is because I'm trying to foster open communication with them too because I need to know if there are any issues. Jill DeWit:                            So If I'm available and I'm doing everything I say, when you said the wife, the minute the wife goes, you know, I'm not sure this is the right time for us. How about that? If I've started this open communication, I've been right there, and diligent and starting to build this communication with her, she's going to say, Jill, hold on a moment. This is all kind of going too fast. Can we please wait one week? My kids are coming, it's the holidays. Whatever it is. I just don't want to think about it right now. Can we please move it a couple of days and we'll be there? Absolutely. You need that communication. I'm going to know right away if she's starting to have second thoughts and I can start to readjust. Jill DeWit:                            The third thing about the gold in the follow-up is it's important to build this relationship because you're building trust also. Not only to know what's going on, but they need to know that I'm sincere and I'm going to do what I'm going to say I'm going to do. Steven Butala:                   We've done over a thousand shows on the Land Academy Show, and this is show number eighteen and I don't recall ever doing a show with you where you have more conviction. This is, obviously, a thing. A topic for you. Jill DeWit:                            Thank you. Steven Butala:                   Now it's clear to me why we buy so many houses. Well, I knew this, but you really have this figured out. Jill DeWit:                            I do. You've got to learn. Steven Butala:                   You don't do it an annoying way. I've done a million real estate deals with you and it's not annoying. You're befriending these people and you really, truly, get the money that they agreed to sign the thing for and all that. Jill DeWit:                            Yeah. Thank you Steven Butala:                   Fantastic, Jill. I have nothing else to add. Nothing. Jill DeWit:                            This was a little longer than I wanted, but thank you. Steven Butala:                   I know your time is valuable. Thanks for spending some of it with us today. Join us next time for the episode called "Take this Personality Test." Jill DeWit:                            And we answer your questions posted on our online community at houseinvestors.com. It is free. Steven Butala:                   You are not alone in your real estate ambition. It's houseacademy.com in this company. Jill DeWit:                            Is that not what I said? Steven Butala:                   You said "houseinvestors." I do this all the time. Jill DeWit:                            Did I say that? Steven Butala:                   Yeah, it's okay. It's totally okay. Jill DeWit:                            I'm confusing everything. Steven Butala:                   I know. Jill DeWit:                            Excuse me. Houseacademy.com. And that's free too. Well, not exactly, but our online community is free. How's that? That was good. Steven Butala:                   Did you ever approach this, this incredibly premeditated way to get what you want in dating men? Because there's a book deal for you. I will publish a book for you if you can come up with some of these stories. Jill DeWit:                            I am not sure I want to answer this in this format. Steven Butala:                   So the answer's yes. Jill DeWit:                            Great question, though. I really appreciate that. We'll save that for another show. Steven Butala:                   Maybe tomorrow we'll talk about it. Jill DeWit:                            Maybe. Wherever you're watching, wherever you're listening, please subscribe and rate us there. We're Steve and Jill. Steven Butala:                   We're Steve and Jill. Information. Jill DeWit:                            And inspiration. Steven Butala:                   To buy undervalued property.  

Welcome to AskALLi, the Self-Publishing Advice Podcast from the Alliance of Independent Authors. This week it’s our monthly Member Q&A where ALLi Members’ have their most pressing self-publishing questions analyzed and answered. Join your regular hosts for the Member Q&A: Michael La Ronn and Orna Ross. Questions this month include: What are the best and ethical methods to do a giveaway without using Goodreads or Amazon giveaways? If I've self-published my business advice book but want to submit it to a publisher, do I still need to write a book proposal? What is the best way to brand a nonfiction self-help series? And more! Find more author advice, tips and tools at our Self-publishing Author Advice Center: https://selfpublishingadvice.org, with a huge archive of nearly 2,000 blog posts, and a handy search box to find key info on the topic you need. And, if you haven’t already, we invite you to join our organization and become a self-publishing ally. You can do that at http://allianceindependentauthors.org. Now, go write and publish! About the Hosts Michael La Ronn is the author of over 30 books of science fiction & fantasy and authors self-help books. His books include the Galaxy Mavericks series and Modern Necromancy series. You can now find his new writing course on Teachable. Orna Ross launched the Alliance of Independent Authors at the London Book Fair in 2012. Her work for ALLi has seen her named as one of The Bookseller’s “100 top people in publishing”. She also publishes poetry, fiction and nonfiction, and is greatly excited by the democratising, empowering potential of author-publishing. For more information about Orna, visit her website: http://www.ornaross.com

Jazz Funk music creator Nova speaks with Jacqueline Jax about Making Dreams come true in Los Angeles. A friend of mine once told me that music is like gravity; it always has & always will exist all around us in nature, but in order to test the effects of gravity, you need an object. I believe that humans are the object or medium for music. At least, that's how I've always felt about my relationship with music. I can't explain where it comes from, but what I can do is try to translate it to people in a way that might make them feel the way I feel. If I've somehow spoken up for someone in their time of need or helped somebody through trying times, then it's only made it more worth the struggle to create. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

"I tried to float somewhere between hopeful and hopeless." Colleen Lubin's story is one of a tremendous amount of loss — and, ultimately, one of resiliency and strength. All her life, Colleen dreamed of becoming a mom. But, like the 6.1 million women in the United States who struggle with infertility, the road to having a baby wasn't easy for Colleen, who created the blog "Not Quite Knocked Up" to document her journey. (It's a must-read for those trying to conceive and those in the throes of new motherhood.) In the span of three years, Colleen suffered five miscarriages (including both a chemical pregnancy and an ectopic pregnancy) and two failed IVF treatments. The sixth time she found out she was pregnant — the one that would stick — was the day after her dad died unexpectedly. Today, Colleen is mom to nine-month-old Liam, and she's been open, honest, and very candid about her road to pregnancy, what pregnancy after loss is like, and what it was like going into labor six weeks early, six hours away from home. I am sending so much love and light to all the women out there this Mother's Day. Whether your day was celebratory or difficult, I am here for you. If I've learned anything as a new mom, it's that moms in all stages have each others' backs. I have yours. Thank you to Sweaty Betty for sponsoring Motherhood Mondays on the Ali on the Run Show! Go to sweatybetty.com and use code ONTHERUN for 20 percent off your purchase.   What you’ll get on this episode: Did Colleen always know she wanted to be a mom? (4:00) Did Colleen expect the road to motherhood to be easy? (5:50) Colleen opens up about her long road to having a baby (9:40) The emotional side of suffering multiple miscarriages (20:20) Colleen’s take on what to say — and what not to say — to women struggling with infertility, miscarriage, and loss (24:00) Colleen’s IVF journey (31:00) The toll five miscarriages and two failed rounds of IVF took on Colleen’s marriage (40:00) Colleen’s reaction when she found out she was pregnant — the day after her dad passed away unexpectedly (45:35) Colleen’s message to women struggling with infertility, miscarriage, or loss (57:00) On having a baby six weeks early, six hours from home (1:00:03) On guilt, shame, and inadequacy (1:04:00) What we mention on this episode: Kristin Mallon on Episode 136 of the Ali on the Run Show Abby Bales on Episode 139 of the Ali on the Run Show RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association Follow Colleen: Instagram @notquiteknockedup Blog Follow Ali: Instagram @aliontherun1 Facebook Twitter @aliontherun1 Blog Strava Listen & Subscribe: Apple Podcasts Spotify SoundCloud Overcast Stitcher Google Play SUPPORT the Ali on the Run Show! If you’re enjoying the show, please subscribe and leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Spread the run love. And if you liked this episode, share it with your friends!

Hatching — then batching — saves you time. It's been a long, draining month for me. For any of you who've followed my posts on Instagram, you know that the month started with the death of my beloved black lab, Lady. That same morning, I found myself stuck in a grand jury, listening to 90 cases of meth and mayhem for the rest of the week instead of bawling my eyes out over the loss of my best friend. (No...they wouldn't release me from jury duty despite my pleas). The following week, the gas line from the propane tank to my Peace Palace had a huge leak and needed to be replaced. By the grace of God, there wasn't an explosion (although my back yard now looks like there was one from all the digging). And as if that wasn't enough to get me stuck off track, I learned that a sweet friend of mine died in one of the avalanches to hit Colorado this month. Man oh man, sometimes life hits you hard. Luckily, I've learned that God doesn't give you more than you handle. Life will return to normal and laughter will resume as it always does. So after many tears and a few days of catching my breath, I'm gearing up to hit the go button again. But, before I do, I've decided to change the scenery and shake things up a bit. If I've learned anything from this month of trials and tribulations, it's life is short, connections matter and work is always going to be there waiting. So I'm going on a road trip. But, before I start my 10 day journey of rest and relaxation, I've decided to hatch and batch! To read more about this TIP, please go here: https://resortentrepreneurs.com/batching/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/resortentrepreneurs/support

Brad and Rick run across an unlikely ally in the strangest of places, then shit just gets weirder from there. __________________________ Richard B. Grimes - James C. Burton (@goteamburton) Brad - Brad Richardson Magnus - Brad Richardson Eunice McGillicutty - James C. Burton Jimbo Tennant - James C. Burton Bubba - James C. Burton Neil Steveson - James C. Burton Steve Enormous - James C. Burton Seamus O'Flannery - James C. Burton Disgruntled Cavern Dweller - James C. Burton Allen Coe Hall - Jesse Hall (@wastedarkcell) Mayor Jason - Jason Smith (@ultimatetidefan) Written by James C. Burton and Brad Richardson "Pleasant Garden Theme" written and performed by Dakota Wright (@dakotacwright) Shout out to Boodabomb on freesound.org for those awesome demonic liners that fit so perfectly into the story. If I've forgotten any characters, they're probably me. If not, I'll correct them as I get the hate mail.

This is how to turn ANY product into an offer so you can out-value and serve more than your whole upline or downline…   Today, I'm going to teach you guys how to create an offer out of your MLM product.   This is one of the biggest mishaps any MLMer makes. To take the product that your MLM gives you and walk around with that ONE thing and try and sell it.   That is a product, not an offer.   THE REALIZATION ABOUT MY MLM PRODUCT I want to walk you through a case study within Secret MLM Hacks program.   There's a lady (she’s awesome) in Secret MLM Hacks program. She said to me, "But Stephen, I sell mascara. How on earth do I create an offer and be unique among all the people who are selling mascara in my MLM? How do I be more unique than all those people?"   The answer is about the offer.   If you've just been walking around with your MLM product, you're not unique at all.   The first time I realized this, I was doing door-to-door sales. It was really hot out. This was probably six years ago. I was knocking doors. It was really hot out. I decided to hide inside of a McDonald's because it had free AC.   I walked in, it felt good… But I was shocked to see that my boss and other salesmen were also hiding in this McDonald's because it was so hot.   We're talking and chatting for a bit. All of a sudden, this guy walks up. He goes, "Hey, you're selling pest control."   We're like, "Yeah."   He's like, "Come spray my bugs," and he asked for a sale, which is not normal. A lay down sale right there. We all looked around at each other.   We all grew up together, so we knew each other and we were good friends. We all looked around at each other, and we're like, "No, you didn't get a sale today," "No, you haven't had a sale in a day," or whatever, "You take it," "No, you take it," "No, you take it."   Back and forth, back and forth. Suddenly, my boss stands up, and he goes, "You," pointing to somebody. That person got a lucky lay down sale.   That experience has stuck in my head because this is what I realize. It was like, “Oh my gosh.” It didn't matter who the guy chose. He had the same experience no matter who he chose.   It didn't matter who he chose because they had the same fulfillment, they had the same scripts, they had the same product, they had the same stupid jokes in their scripts. We're all wearing the same uniform. Everything was the same. There was no difference based on who he chose.   If you are selling your MLM product as it is, the way it comes from your MLM, are doing the exact same thing. That's the danger. There's no difference between choosing you over the other tens of thousands of people also selling your product. That's a big issue.   LET’S CREATE A UNIQUE OFFER OUT OF YOUR PRODUCT   I want to show you how to create an offer out of your MLM product. I am not telling you to change the product itself. That's why I want to walk through this case study. I want you to see how I create an offer out of somebody's MLM product to make them: More unique More valuable Help them deliver more Solve more problems than anybody else in their downline or upline   That's exactly what we did, and that's exactly what's happened. It's really very powerful. It's amazing.   I know I'm claiming some big stuff right here. Get a piece of paper out and take this part seriously. It's very powerful. This is how I out-value everybody else in my upline and downline.   This is how I out-value everybody else when I'm selling the product itself.   I give more solutions than the standard person. It comes down to the way I'm packaging it together. I transform it from a product into an offer. That's the real secret. I want to teach you guys how I'm doing that.   VEHICLE VS ANCHOR   Let’s clear one thing up before we move on. A lot of people ask me, “Is the anchor of an offer and the vehicle the same thing?”   No. An anchor of an offer and the vehicle that's not the same thing.   The anchor is part of the vehicle… But the vehicle is not part of the anchor.   When we say:   Vehicle New opportunity Stack slide Offer   Those are all the same thing.   Let’s say I’m consuming ClickFunnels. If I'm consuming ClickFunnels, there's a belief that's causing me to consume it. I believe that ClickFunnels is the vehicle that will get me what I want.   It's not that I want ClickFunnels. I want what ClickFunnels gives me, right?   You sell the hole, not the drill. You're selling the taste, not the food.   Too many people get obsessed over their product and they're like, "But this drill is amazing."   No one wants the drill, they want the hole. It's the same thing with your product. "But the mascara's amazing." It's not about the mascara, they want what it does. They want it for the benefit it gives them.   That's what a vehicle is. Products, offers and new opportunities. It’s called a vehicle because it delivers what the customer really wants. They don't necessarily care about your product. They just want the result that it gives them.   The anchor of the product is the part of the products that the customer's most excited about.   OBJECTIONS TO YOUR MLM PRODUCT   Let's keep with the mascara example. When you go to someone and say, "Here's my mascara," there's going to be some reactions to that. Is everybody going to buy right off the bat? No. Of course not. Even if your product is really good, they don't buy because it's not about the product.   It's about what happens when you show them the product.   There's something that happens internally. This is where those false beliefs come in.     PRODUCT OBJECTION     When you show someone, "Here's the product."...   "Is it any good?" There's this involuntary reaction. We show them the mascara, "Is it good?"   The first objection is about the vehicle itself. The mascara.   "IS IT ANY GOOD?"   That’s the first objection that people normally have when you show them a product or offer. I have to figure out how to address it.   If I can get somebody to believe that there is a possible that vehicle is actually good, "You know what, that actually does look like good mascara."   INTERNAL OBJECTION   The next objection they have is INTERNAL. They're going to ask themselves, "Am I good enough?" It goes to a lot of places of insecurities.   "Well, yeah I believe that could work but there's just no way I could pull that off."   They're convinced the vehicle, mascara, is a good thing. But their excuse is, "I just don't think I can pull this off. I'm just not that kind of person."   That's an internal insecurity. An internal objection. An internal false belief.   “I don't know that I'm good enough to wear this mascara."   It might be an insecurity over self worth. It's possible. Very possible. Those are internal objections about their own abilities.   EXTERNAL OBJECTION     The next objection is going to be EXTERNAL.   If I can get them to believe, "Oh my gosh this vehicle is possible. Oh my gosh it's possible internally that I actually can pull it off." Their next objection is based on external factors.   People blame their ability to be successful with the vehicle on something else.   It's an excuse. "I can't get this mascara because look at the price." They're blaming away from them.   It's usually:   Time Money Resources   “It's going to cost me too much money.”   "I don't have the time to do this right now."   "I don't have the support. My wife/spouse would never support me”   You need to be addressing those objections inside of your offer. That can feel like bad medicine to a customer.   How do you make it feel not like medicine? You tell stories.   That’s why we don't jump straight to building a funnel. That's usually why funnels SUCK. There's a lot of psychology behind it. This is marketing psychology.   THE ANCHOR OF YOUR OFFER   NEXT... I have:     The vehicle Internal objection External objection   Those three things go in my stack slide.   Let’s use ClickFunnels as another example. Someone’s saying, "Look at ClickFunnels. This is so cool. I believe the vehicle can get me where I want to go. But I'm not techie."   Russell address that by saying, "Don't worry if you're not the person to do it have your eight year old come do it." Seriously, his twins build funnels.   He also tosses in, "So you understand also how to put these pieces together and how to understand your customer, we're going to put something in something called Inception Secrets."   Did the customer ask for it? They did. Just not explicitly.   "Oh man, I would love to have funnel hacks. But I don't know how to  put the copy on the page"   "Don't worry about it. We're going to put something in there called Funnel Scripts."   Those are all things that make up the offer.   The anchor of the offer is the thing that the customer is most excited about in the offer.   In Funnel Hacks, do you think people are most excited about Funnel Hacks? No! They're most excited about ClickFunnels.   When someone buys Funnel Hack they PRE-BUY six months of ClickFunnels. That’s what makes an offer sexy!   HOW TO PACKAGE A SEXY OFFER   If you understand this one piece, ALL of offer creation and all of funnel building gets real easy.   This is the secret sauce and this is the reason this stuff works so well.   This is how we're going to build an offer. This is what I go through every time.   IF I CAN JUST GET YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS... it makes it so simple and so fast.   You will have success in MLM far faster than any average MLM-er or experienced traditional MLM-ist ever will.   I mean that. I'm not laughing.   THIS is marketing.   We're going to design an offer right here. Follow along for your own product. "But Steven, I sell a suppleme..." "DOESN’T MATTER"   But, "Steven, I sell insuran..." "WHO CARES?! It's the same freaking thing!"   That's what I get so mad about! Is the product different? Yeah...   But that's not how crap sells. It's not about the product. It's about the sales message.   CREATE AN OFFER USING HEALTH, WEALTH AND RELATIONSHIPS   Back to our mascara and makeup example.   If I've got three things here…   Health Wealth Relationships   If you sell makeup, you most likely use it. You probably had some AHA as to why you’re using the one you are now.   You can skip the whole ask campaign thing if you walked the path that you're selling back into.   You already know what the false beliefs are. You’ve walked them. You had them.   Are you going to promise health, wealth or relationships through your makeup product? You’re selling mascara, but that's not what they actually want. What do they want?   RELATIONSHIPS, BABY!   It's not about the product. They want a relationship.   Could I promise health through mascara? I actually could. Do you understand how this works?   I could take this and connect it to any one of them. It doesn't matter. What matters is that I choose ONE.   The pitch styles are slightly different based on the one that you do. You can spin the sales message.   Are we talking about product or offer here? NO. We're talking about outcome.   HEALTH, WEALTH and RELATIONSHIPS are the most “NO DUH” places to go spend money in.   You don't see a salesman next to eggs in the grocery store.   This is a “NO DUH” buying place. You're not selling mascara. You're selling relationships.   FINDING YOUR BLUE OCEAN   How many people sell mascara? A LOT.   They're promising relationships through mascara. We’ve got to figure out the blue ocean to go sell to.   Create a new opportunity and sell it directly back to the other mascara buyers. CURRENT BUYERS, you understand?   This is the reason why I recruit so well in my MLM. My personal downline.   I don't target people who are not currently in an MLM. I target people who are in an MLM and hate it.   WHY?   Because I'm selling directly back to MLM. I'm promising wealth through MLM. I'm selling back to the general MLM-ist. People who hate the downline they're in. Hate the company they're in. Can't see a way out.   I'm not convincing people that MLM's the new opportunity.   I'm teaching an MLM-er who's down the path already. Why? It shortens the education gap. It's easier sale and it's a better customer.   This is what happens when you get real clear on who you want.   START TO TURN YOUR PRODUCT INTO AN OFFER   Two things I got to figure out:   What are current makeup buyers buying? What are they already trading cash for? The sales message. What message is generically believed in this sub-market?   What's the current offer and the current message that people are consuming?   Now we need to start crafting this. We need to come up with two things:   Offer Message   The message needs to throw rocks at the red ocean. The mainstream way of doing it.   Look at my headlines for Secret MLM Hacks. "How do MLMers like us recruit A players and create extra income without annoying family and friends?"   I'm throwing rocks at people who only talk to their friends and family. You want to touch a nerve and make people think, “I see why you're saying that. I've felt the same pain.”   Please don't throw rocks at people. If you’re pitting against a company, don’t throw rocks at the CEO.   OBJECTIONS TO YOUR PRODUCT OR OFFER   We need to think through the biggest objection that people have when you show them your product.   There are three different types of objections:   Vehicle (V) - about the product Internal (I) - about their ability External (E) - about their resources   Let’s think of what those objections and false beliefs could be for this makeup and mascara example:     V - Will it work? I - I don’t have the knowledge to use it   E - The price is too high     OKAY. Now we have the false beliefs, whoa buddy.   Let's design ourselves an offer.   STORIES UPHOLDING FALSE BELIEFS   The next thing we need to figure out is story or experience that created those false beliefs.   Vehicle. Does this even work? “I've tried so many different products. There's just nothing out there that's going to be right for me. I have a draw full of old products that didn't work."   Internal. Knowledge. “You can never recreate makeup that’s done by a professional. I don’t have the skills or knowledge to do what the pros do. I don’t have the experience.   External. Price. The story could be "Well, I heard that there was this one company that was charging $200 for this makeup kit. It was crazy because it was terrible, didn't even work. Therefore everything expensive doesn’t work. I can get the exact same thing from Wal-Mart." or “I have a friend who spends $300 a month on makeup” So that’s what they think it costs.   NEW STORIES = NEW BELIEFS   Now we craft new stories. This is where we use things like the epiphany bridge script from Expert Secrets.   You don't necessarily TELL stories, you ASSEMBLE stories. If you need more drama, assemble more drama. If you need more conflict, craft more conflict. They're malleable.   For vehicle, internal and external, you need to tell new stories. It could be something like:   “I’d tried so many makeup products and none of them worked. I had a draw full of bad products that didn’t do what they said on the can. I was about to give up when I found THIS PRODUCT and it changed my life.”   CREATE PROMISED BASED ON THOSE FALSE BELIEFS   The next thing I’m going to do is create headlines.   Another word for headlines (which I think describes them better) is PROMISES.     I'm going to make a vehicle based promise. I'm going to make an internal based promise. An external based promise.     “I'm going to show you how to BIG PROMISE without HUGE PAIN”   I address their big fear and the false belief. I promise to get around it without them having to go through the pain I know they've been experiencing.   Vehicle - “I’m going to show you how to do your makeup without trying a million and one different products” Internal - “I’m going to give you three makeup tips to get the A list look” External -  “I’m going to show you how to get the $1,000 makeover look for $50”   If you look at SecretMLMHacks.com, look at those bottom three columns. This is exactly what I did.   DESIGNING YOUR OFFER   The next thing we need to do is start creating the products and the stack slide. Your offer.   Based on everything we’ve done so far, let’s come up with some products. These tie directly back to the false beliefs.   Vehicle - Self-consultation guide   Show them how to choose the the right makeup for them that will work.   Internal - Evening looks guide Give them the knowledge to do their makeup in different ways.   External -  Makeup kit   This is where they get a whole load of products for a great price.   THIS is how I create the stack. Without knowing it, we have very deceivingly created the stack before your very eyes. SHAZAM!   You’ve got three bonuses right there. All we need to do is add an anchor and call it something cool.   Stack slides usually have five things in. You’ve got three right there!   I always like to add a Fast Action Bonus at the bottom. A FAB.   You say “By the way, those of you guys that act right now, I'm going to let you into our little community.”   You could get someone else's book that you think is really good and throw that in there for FREE as well. They get it for FREE but you're going to add $20 to the cost off everything else.   DID WE JUST CREATE AN OFFER?   This is freaking awesome!   The MARKET told us to put these things together. Not explicitly. But they told us.   This is a safe place for me to launch in. WHY? Because you're reacting to what the market has asked you to do.   Here's what you do with the price…   You’re probably able to sell the kit at a certain price point because you’re in MLM. Charge the kit price. They just get the rest of the stuff for FREE.   NOW YOU’RE COMPETING ON VALUE, NOT PRICE.   Most of these are freaking info products. You only have to make those ONCE.   You can probably find a lot of these videos on YouTube. YouTube is open source. It's public domain. As long as they’re publicly listed, YOU CAN JUST TAKE THEM.   I make members areas with other people's videos all the time and use them for lead gen. It's legal. You can do that.   You might only be selling ALL OF THIS for the price of your MLM product… But you're delivering more.   You will outsell, outperform and outvalue everyone else in your downline. Your upline, other people in makeup MLM’s.   This is the method that I use and this is how I’m killing it.   Master this, and you can create an offer out of anything.

Like it or not, money is a huge part of your life. It's the source of a lot of joy while also being one of the top reasons people get divorced. If you're like me, you walked into your adult life with a lot of debt, minimal income, and no clue how to handle it.It's time to start having wholistic conversations about our finances so we can feel encouraged and empowered to create positive change. Whether you think you have enough of it or not, money can only work for you if you're willing to work with it.In this episode, I interview my accountant and trusted business advisor, Roderick Robeson, on how to start shifting your relationship with money. If I've learned anything, it's that if you treat your money right, it'll return the favor.Listen to this episode for practical advice on how to manage your money better and start getting out of debt.

I interviewed Marc Magliari, who is Amtrak's spokesperson for 23 states, to talk about what's going on with Amtrak. To watch the full interview, watch the YouTube video ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vsehcdJBW8). Highlights of Episode 10 I've edited the questions and answers for brevity and clarity. Francis Tapon: What's a common misconception about train travel in America? Marc Magliari, Media Relations Manager at Amtrak: It's usually best to buy your tickets as far in advance as possible. But we have Flash Sales that pop up and last for two or three days and then disappear. Check the Deals tab on Amtrak.com. Sometimes they have blackouts, sometimes they don't. I bet I can outrun this train. Tapon: When is the best time of year to get a good deal? Magliari: The softer seasons for us are usually after the middle of January until early March. Also, the end of the summer after Labor Day. This is especially true for leisure trains. It's less true for business-oriented trains. The more flexibility that you have, the better. Tapon: I expected that taking Amtrak across America would be uncomfortable, especially in coach, but it wasn't. Magliari: Yes, plenty of people go across America in coach. I need to be horizontal when I sleep. So if you're like me, you'll want to book a roomette or a bedroom for any long distance travel. Tapon: Are airlines your biggest competitor? Magliari: No, it's cars. If you compare our cost to driving, we're pretty competitive. We'll feed you and we'll give you a place to sleep. And you'll be able to see your country instead of worrying about the 18-wheeler on one side and the person shaving or putting makeup next to you. Tapon: The business traveler wants Wi-Fi. I didn't get it for much of my journey. Magliari: About 90% of Amtrak passengers have access to Wi-Fi. When you don't, most business travelers tether to their phone's data plan. We depend on the cellular networks. We amalgamate various cellular networks. It's not everywhere, especially in Alleghenies and the Sierra Nevada. Tapon: Are there any long-term solutions to solving the Wi-Fi issue? Magliari: 5G is coming. But still, with 300 people on a train, it will probably remain an issue. Tapon: What's the appeal of Amtrak for the business traveler? Magliari: To stay productive. When you go to the airport, you lose a lot of time going through security and just getting to the airport. Tapon: Is it ever more efficient to take an overnight train over a plane? Magliari: In Chicago, we have a train called the Texas Eagle. It leaves Chicago at 1:45 p.m. By noon the next day, it's in downtown Dallas. If I've got an afternoon meeting in Dallas, I will have to get up at 4:30 a.m. to get to the airport. I'll sleep poorly. In contrast, I can let the train be my hotel. I can finish my presentation on the train. I'll be rested. One of the big advantages is that most of our stops are in downtown areas. Airports tend to be far from a city's downtown. If you've flown to Denver, Cincinnati, or New Orleans, you know how far the airports are from the downtown. Tapon: Are Fortune 500 companies getting this productivity argument? Magliari: A lot of companies get it. A lot of sports teams get it. In fact, in the northeast corridor, we transport some sports teams overnight. Tapon: What are the upgrades to the infrastructure in the pipeline? Magliari: In the next three to five years, all the business class seats will be replaced with an even nicer business class. Tapon: How can passengers ride across America on Amtrak? Magliari: There are many routes, you either have to go through Chicago or New Orleans. Tapon: Any advice to train travelers? Magliari: Don't always count on having Wi-Fi or cellular. Bring reading material. The Prince says, "But can I play polo with this?" Tapon: Is Amtrak looking into the Hyperloop? Magliari: The way we get to where the next generation is with incremental steps. That's how they did it in Europe. Right now we're developing the Chicago hub to achieve a maximum speed of 110 miles per hour, which is near the limit of what you can do with the existing infrastructure. If you want faster, like 220 miles per hour, you need all new infrastructure. It's like building a brand new highway. Tapon: What's happening in the 2020s? Magliari: We're partnered with Texas Central, who is looking to do a high-speed network between Fort-Worth/Dallas, Houston and San Antonio. But that will be all-new construction. But we have property rights and environmental checks. That slows us down. China doesn't have those limitations. Tapon: Is Amtrak losing sleep about the advent of self-driving cars? Magliari: No. If everyone has a self-driving car, you still have to get all those cars through a funnel. Trains have an exclusive lane. Cars must share the road.  More info You can post comments, ask questions, and sign up for my newsletter at http://wanderlearn.com. If you like this, subscribe and share! I made this as a YouTube episode too. On social media, my username is always ftapon. Follow me on: http://facebook.com/ftapon http://twitter.com/ftapon http://youtube.com/user/ftapon http://pinterest.com/ftapon http://tumblr.com/ftapon Snapchat Claim your reward by becoming a patron at http://Patreon.com/FTapon Rewards start at just $1/month!

I've worked hard to create my business over the past 5+ years. If I've learned one thing, it's that it's never going to be easy but it's always going to be worth it. Visionary Life & The VISIONARY METHOD™ have been TOTALLY worth it! In today's episode, there is no interview.... just a conversation with myself about the evolution of my brand and how I ended up launching The VISIONARY METHOD (beginning November 12th). I hope you'll join the program. *EXCLUSIVE PODCAST LISTENER SIGN UP LINK* Sign up as a listener of Visionary Life & get one extra private coaching session with me!

Blair gives David some homework to identify patterns in the principals of creative practices who are successful and have that "je ne sais quoi."   LINKS 2Bobs Episode 28 - "Positioning Cheats" Start With Why by Simon Sinek "Top 10 Podcasts Agency Owners Listen To" by Daniel de la Cruz Crucial Conversations - Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler   TRANSCRIPT DAVID C. BAKER: Blair today, we are going to catch up with the rest of the world. I can't even say that with a straight face. We're only 80 years, 90 years behind. We're going to talk about the X-Factor. Okay. And the first time that phrase was used was in 1930, and we're just now getting ready to talk about it.  BLAIR ENNS: You've actually done homework. That's not fair. DAVID: Well, a little bit.  BLAIR: You went and looked up the first use of the word X-Factor... But hold on - you have to explain who used it. What was the context?  DAVID: Well, it was like in the urban dictionary, so it's totally unreferenced, it's just somebody's idea of when it was first used. I probably shouldn't even brought that up. But the phrase that popped up a lot when I was researching the X-Factor 'cause you really wanted to talk about this and I'm intrigued too. It's the "je ne sais quoi" which means, "I do not know more." Have you heard that phrase? BLAIR: Yeah, "je ne sais quoi." I always thought it just meant ... And I should know because I'm Canadian. It's one of our official languages. I always it meant, I don't know. So it's, I do not know more.  DAVID: I do not know more, it's a French phrase "je ne sais quoi." In other words, there's this X-Factor. I don't know more. There's just something about them. There's this X-Factor about them. It was pretty interesting. We're going to talk about principals that exhibit this X-Factor.  BLAIR: Principles, the people: ...P-A-L-S. DAVID: Yeah, right.  BLAIR: Not ...P-L-E-S. DAVID: I never use the other word anymore 'cause I'm so used to using principals ...A-L-S.  BLAIR: So principals of creative practices who are successful, who have this "je ne sais quoi," this X-Factor of success right? DAVID: Yeah. You really enjoyed saying that with such a great accent didn't you. So you gave me homework.  BLAIR: Yes. DAVID: Here's what you said to me: think of one recent client - this presumes I even have clients, right? But think of one recent client who is very successful, what three things come to mind about that person? So I dutifully answered my questions here just following the script. And then you said, "Now do it for two or three more clients." And so I did that. Now what do you want me to do with this? BLAIR: I want to talk about the patterns. If you've done it for three or four clients, when you think about the attributes of that person, how common are those attributes across those three or four people?  DAVID: They were just surprisingly common, and I hadn't ever really thought about it quite like this. But I almost felt like I was wasting my time as I extrapolated to others, because they all came up about the same. Maybe the order of the three things is different from principal to principle but the same ones kept coming up. Did you do the same thing?  BLAIR: Yeah and I thought of a couple of people and then I just kind of thought of a group of people and made my list even a little bit longer. So I've got six things, but I would say those six things, they all roll up into one word. So if you had to take all of those different attributes that you've identified of these successful agency principals, and you had to put them all under the banner of one word, what would that one word be?  DAVID: So I popped back and forth between these two. But I think the one word would be confident.  BLAIR: Yeah, me too.  DAVID: Really? The same word? OK. BLAIR: Yeah. So the X-Factor is confidence. But I think we'll get into this and maybe a little bit later on, we'll talk about some kind of big picture ideas around confidence and the subject of overconfidence and how important confidence is. Did you write down different manifestations of confidence or different forms of confidence? What's on your list? DAVID: The early form of confidence would be just starting the business, like, "I can do this." That's one. Another where it seems to show up a lot is just in sales or prospect conversations and I've even actually listened to them and then of course, most of the time I haven't, they're just reporting to me what the conversation was. Then that's where it probably strikes me the most is just this confidence, even when they don't have a lot of experience in the promises that they are making to a prospect. You and I have probably done this in our own practices years ago too. BLAIR: Oh yeah.  DAVID: You get on the phone on the way back to the office and you're saying you will not believe what I just promised we could do?  BLAIR: Yeah.  DAVID: That's where it seems to show up.  BLAIR: Well, I think some of the best sales people in the world you cannot tell from the way the salesperson is behaving, what their external conditions or what their financial situation is, from the way they're behaving. So a really good salesperson can be standing in front of you on the brink of bankruptcy and you can't tell because they are not transmitting panic or neediness of any kind. DAVID: Wow. So they must be good poker players I would think. BLAIR: They're confident, but they're also good actors. But isn't that the same thing? I was talking about this last week in another podcast? Yeah, I actually step out on you and do other podcasts from time to time. I was saying the phrase, 'fake it till you make it', somebody on Twitter was saying, "That's just such a horrible saying, it's such bad advice." And I don't think that's true at all. And especially when it comes to confidence. You develop confidence, I believe, in part by faking, being confident, you just pretend you're confident and then you do that long enough, often enough, lo and behold! You become confident. I think good salespeople are able to fake, fake may not be the right word but just act confident even when the circumstances are dire. DAVID: Wow! Because all of us are growing by stepping slightly over our current capabilities. And that includes sales. BLAIR: Yeah.  DAVID: There's just a fine line I mean, that I guess is technically the line but if we never do that we never grow, if we do too much of it then we really are cheating our clients and I think you're going to talk a little bit later about this overconfidence thing. So back up a little bit, what got you thinking about this in the first place? What intrigues you about this concept?  BLAIR: I think when you work with enough people over time you start to make some initial assessments of how likely some people are to succeed and I was thinking some people have it and some don't. And in showbiz, it's not just conference, there's this star quality that really is "je ne sais quoi." I don't know more, other than to say, it's like, they've got it, they've got the X-Factor. That's why I assume the show is called The X-Factor. And it's really hard to nail down what it is but I think in business and in running a creative firm, I think that X-Factor it really is confidence but not going too far and having unchecked overconfidence. Which is actually kind of common in creative professions for reasons we'll get into a little bit later. So I think you've probably seen those patterns too, you talk to somebody and in the very early parts of the conversation, you get a sense of how successful this person is. Is that correct? DAVID: Yes, for sure. And like you were just saying, I couldn't tell you how I'm picking it up. But I do. I don't know if you remember many years ago, probably 15 years ago, I called you up late in the day, maybe even had been in the evening. And we've referenced this in an earlier podcast. BLAIR: You were in a snowstorm.  DAVID: Yeah, exactly. And it hit me for the first time. It's like, "Oh, my goodness!" What I'm in the business of doing is being a substitute for the confidence that people lack. So most of the people that wouldn't hire me have enough confidence and they figure things out. Some people that are in that category would still hire me and then others need the marketplace to replace that lack of confidence they have. So many times I go into a situation and I believe more highly in their skills than they do but it doesn't matter what I believe they just simply are not going to absorb what I believe about how good they are. It will only be the marketplace that does.  I remember talking with you about that, it became such a big light in my mind. So what are the things on your list? So confidence rolls up. But can you get more specific here about what you're saying? BLAIR: Yeah. The first thing you had in your list about like their presence in a sales situation is similar to what I have. I have talking about money. And what I have seen is the successful agency principals over the years and the successful new business development folks, they can have a conversation with a client or prospect about money and the size of the number does not faze them. So they can say $10 million, they can say $10 million, just as easily as they can say, $10,000 and vice versa. The size of the number is essentially meaningless to them from an emotional or a stressor, point of view. So that's, I think, a big one and I don't actually see that strength or skill very often, but when I see it, I know this is somebody worth betting on.  DAVID: They might not even have a fantastic positioning. But this cover some of that. BLAIR: Yeah, we did a really early episode on things that mask poor positioning and I think we talked about that being one, the confidence of the principal.  DAVID: Yeah.  BLAIR: So that's the first one. I had the ability to talk about money. And the second point I had, I wrote down the word entitlement. A sense of entitlement. I also wrote next to it and assumption of success. Entitlement can be a bad word. It can have negative connotations depending on kind of how you use it, or even just how you're thinking about it in the moment. But I actually in this context, I really like it the idea that somebody feels entitled to success and there's just no question about whether they're going to succeed in what they do.  DAVID: So does this show up in bad ways as well? I know you don't mean entitlement in the sense like a political program or something like that, that you're not talking about that. BLAIR: Yeah, or a rich kid or something like that, where the world owes me with a bit of a chip on my shoulder, because I'm not getting what I feel I'm entitled to. I mean, a healthy, positive sort of entitlement, which is that, of course, I'm going to be successful. Of course, there are lots of businesses out there that would see the value in what I do. Of course, the future ahead of me is big. Of course, I'm going to take advantage of most of the opportunities that come my way, of course, everything's going to be okay. All of these things, and I think maybe without being polar opposite of that conflicting idea that's still valid, is the idea of the healthy paranoia of a principle. I don't think that's part of the X-Factor. I think that's a part of kind of general success as an entrepreneur, I think you have to have a healthy paranoia.  But I think these people that really have it the X-Factor, they're not really driven by paranoia. They're not driven by fear. They're driven by almost entirely positive things. I think both of those are valid. But I'm just saying in the X-Factor, these people who have that kind of special X-Factor, there's just no doubt that they're going to succeed.  DAVID: Almost unapologetically, which is not necessarily arrogant. You've talked quite a bit about the fact that one of the mental, I guess, principles of the newer entrepreneur is that it's not a zero sum game. So when there's this entitlement or this assumption, or this confidence, it's not at the cost of the client, it's not like we're taking things from the client. It's like we're both going to succeed here and I'm unapologetic for mine and unapologetic for yours between us we're going to do great things.  So first one was how they talked about money, that's really interesting to me, especially the way you phrase that the other is entitlement or assumption, an unapologetic approach to this What's the next one?  BLAIR: The next one is leadership. They lead their people and their clients. I don't know if they're natural leaders, it's probably fair to say that when we're talking about X-Factor, we're talking about natural leaders. I know some really strong leaders who've had to work to develop their leadership skills, whether it comes naturally or not. I saw this in a couple successful clients and then I was thinking of some other clients that I've worked with, that are still kind of successful, but struggle with this issue. You probably see this too where you're offering guidance to an agency principal and his or her response is "Yeah, I know I should do that. But I'd have a hard time selling that to my people." When I hear that I think, "who's running the show here?"  DAVID: Apparently, "my people" are.  BLAIR: Somebody with that X-Factor is never going to push back on a valid idea by saying, "I'm going to have a hard time selling that to my people." Unless it's something that's really ridiculous. Remember that seminar I did years ago in Bermuda in the beginning of 2009?  DAVID: I do. Yeah.  BLAIR: It was you and me and four other people. We drank $1500 worth of champagne, because I had to hit the food and beverage minimum.  DAVID: Great food. And a lot of it.  BLAIR: I had two different agency principal say to me, "I really want to go to the seminar you're doing in Bermuda, but I just laid off people and I can't justify to my people that I am going on this thing and I think that is perfectly valid. That's not what I'm talking about. I think in both those cases, and probably the other cases that just weren't stated to me, I think that's a perfectly legitimate area where you should be concerned about what your people think. But when it comes to say, the positioning of the firm or how you're going to go about selling these more strategic decisions, those people who have the X-Factor those leaders with supreme confidence, they don't stop and think, "Well, I hope my people are going to go along with me." There's the sense of, they look to me to lead it's my job to lead I'm going to lead, and even if they're unsure in the beginning, they will follow me because they trust me to lead.  BLAIR: So that's one aspect of it is they lead their people, but they also do the same thing with their clients. DAVID: Yeah. Is that the same as directing their relationship? Or is that something different? I've heard you use that phrase. BLAIR: I use what I think is a healthy generalization when I say there are really only two positions you can occupy in your client relationships. You can be the vendor or you can be the expert practitioner, and the expert practitioner leads they don't dominate. It's got to be this kind of servant leadership role where the client willingly lets you lead but they are seen as the expert and they lead. So you should have that relationship with your people and you should have that relationship with your clients. These people who have this X-Factor, they're able to grow these usually large but just always successful and profitable firms. They show up to a client engagement or a new business meeting and they feel like they should be occupying the expert practitioner position, and they feel it's their job to lead in this situation. And they don't comfortably slot into that polite, compliant, rule follower role that is the vendor, where you sit and take notes and nod your head. DAVID: There's some overlap here between what you just explained and the personality theory stuff that we've talked about multiple times. And that's that somebody with the personality profile of a leader like you're describing is typically somebody who sees a situation and says, "This could be improved." That's the opposite from the other half who says, "Oh, this is good enough, we can work within it." So they say, "This can be improved." Then they go on to the second part B and says, "And I'm the person to improve it. Right?  BLAIR: Those are the four dichotomies or quadrants. Right? It's the situation can be improved or not. DAVID: Yeah.  BLAIR: And I'm the one to do it or not. DAVID: Right exactly. BLAIR: And that's essentially the basics of most personality theory.  DAVID: Yeah exactly.   BLAIR: So those are the first three things I have three other things. You said the first one on your list was how they sell, what do you have after that? DAVID: I have risk taker and I'm cheating a little bit because I did a research project on that. So they are risk taker, they don't always take the right risks, but they do take risks.  BLAIR: Yep.  DAVID: And then the third one is that they - and I haven't heard you talk about this, it's interesting that it's on my list and not yours - it's that they soak up all kinds of knowledge and then they ruthlessly choose just a small part of it to follow.  BLAIR: Oh yeah.  DAVID: Some people read voraciously and other people don't read at all. Then other people latch on to some expert or somebody else, and they have their favorite ones, and so on. But they're always just soaking up knowledge but they don't try to incorporate all of it. They make a quick snap decision like, "Yeah, there is something there. I'm going to follow them." Or, "No, that's really interesting. But no, I think I'm going to go over here to this other expert." That's one thing I see everywhere. BLAIR: That's a keen observation because those are the two categories of people who don't read it all. You see that not a lot, but you see it, it's a pattern. But the other pattern is actually fairly common, isn't it? Creative people are naturally curious. It's kind of in their nature to gather information from all sorts of different places. But there are these trends, we won't name names. But there's like the TED Talk du jour or the business book du jour and that comes out and it peaks. And for the next two and a half years, every third agency principal you talk about is building some sort of proprietary methodology around one point that came up in a TED talk or came up in a book and it's like, "Oh, man, you too.?" Yeah. How proprietary, is it if ... Yeah, I probably, yeah, I'm not going to name names, but...  DAVID: I will. I'll name names. The thing is that there's some really good truth in these movements, right? BLAIR: I agree.  DAVID: Michael Gerber was one for sure.  BLAIR: Work on the business... DAVID: Not in it. Yeah. Exactly. That is brilliant principle. But then there have been three or four since then. And currently it's traction. That's what everybody is doing.  BLAIR: So the one that comes up for me all the time is Simon Sinek's Start With Why. DAVID: Oh yeah, right. BLAIR: "What's your why?" And I'm a huge fan of that. But you see people trying to work it into something that they think is a meaningfully differentiated offering to their clients. Well, first, we start with your why? Well, everybody is starting with their why now. That's not to pick on Simon Sinek. I quote him too. He's got some great stuff. It's just for whatever reason. It's just a sign of his success. But then so many of these creative firm principals glom onto that and try to make it something that's theirs, that helps to differentiate them. DAVID: Which is separate than traction, traction is more of a management system. It's interesting. We kind of grow through these things. Who's the guy that occupies the number one podcast position above us?  BLAIR: Tom Ferriss.  DAVID: Oh, Tim Ferriss. Let's not talk about that...  BLAIR: Yeah, we better say - somebody did a poll recently, he polled a thousand agency principals on what podcasts they listened to, and we came up number two. We're right behind ... We're probably really far away behind the Tim Ferriss and I joke to you on Twitter, "well, let's find out who this Tom Ferriss guy is. DAVID: We'll take him out." I'm just kidding.  BLAIR: What's next on your list?  DAVID: Okay, next on my list then is that they are visionary/persuasive. I think there's a lot of overlap between this and your leadership idea. So they not only have a vision for the future, which is not all that useful unless you can successfully bring other people around you into that same excitement. So the two things together, visionary and persuasive, that's one. Another is that they make really quick decisions, so quick that it drives people nuts. And I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just saying that this is almost a universal characteristic of these people with the X-Factor, is that they do not deliberate a long time before they make a decision. They tend to make quick ones. That's another one I've seen.  BLAIR: Do you think that's maybe too broad to be in the category of X-Factor? Do you think like all agency principals and entrepreneurs are like that?  DAVID: I don't know, you might be right.  BLAIR: I usually am.  DAVID: Well, I'm just going to skip right past that too.  BLAIR: Can I back up to what you said earlier about visionary and persuasive? So I had they lead their people and their clients. Then the next item I had was eyes on the horizon. So that's your visionary part. DAVID: Yeah. BLAIR: Visionary and persuasive, that really is leadership, right? When I think of these people who are the most successful agency principals that I know that have the kind of it thing, they see things so much earlier than their people do, and they see things in their business so much earlier than I do. In fact, I think of a friend of mine, he's, one of the most successful friends I have.  DAVID: You can mention my name, it's okay.  BLAIR: You're very successful David. But by almost every professional measure, he is even more successful. He's one of these people where we don't speak very often, but we're talking he tells me what he's thinking, and I hang up the phone, I think you're straddling the line between genius and insane because that conversation didn't really make sense. Then I swear to God, it's a really long time later, it's like three, four years later, I'm seeing everywhere that thing that he mentioned to me years ago, and now that conversation made sense. He is so far out ahead of anybody else I know and it really shown up in his business success. The stuff that he sees and thinks about and acts on, before it's even on my radar is just mind blowing. So I characterize that as eyes on the horizon, they don't have their eyes down on the minutiae of their business. They're not dealing with all the kind of ankle-biter issues for whatever reason, or whatever mechanisms they've used, just good delegation or great team members, or whatever it is, they're able to focus on the horizon and not just focus on the horizon, see further out than other people. Then this kind of speaks to what you were talking about before, the ability to act on it, the courage and the decisiveness to act on it. So these people act on trends that are way further out than most of us are even capable of seeing let alone seeing and making a decision to act on. DAVID: Yeah, and for them to be able to do that, it presupposes so many things about how they're running their business. You alluded to some of them, they can't be down in the minutiae. They had to be inventing, or however you say, inventing future value, creating future value as you talk about. Absolutely. But I'll bet you that a lot of his near certain ease about the future do not come true. But that doesn't dissuade him. So he throws things at the wall and then he sees fairly early on whether or not it's actually going to be true and if it isn't, then he moves on. What I like about that is he's looking up and he's making quick decisions.  BLAIR: Yeah, agreed. Anything else on your list?  DAVID: I have a burning question. I have to ask you at some point, when we're done with this list here. But I've found that they are not generally conflict averse. And I mean, with employees or with clients...  BLAIR: That's so funny 'cause I wrote down crucial conversations. That's the next thing on my list. DAVID: Yeah, same thing, exact, same thing.  BLAIR: The ability to have those crucial conversations and not avoid conflict.  DAVID: Right, exactly. The ones who avoid conflict tend to not really thrive except I know some exceptions to that where they do even though they're conflict averse, but generally yeah, they have to be willing to have those ... And conflict averse is not as good a way to say it as you did, those conversations are. That's a better way to say it, 'cause we're not really trying to butt heads with people. We're just having the tough conversations. BLAIR: There's the great book called Crucial Conversations and it's written by five people (if five people can write a book). So it's written essentially by a consulting company. In the introduction, they're talking about following an executive team around for a while to figure out what the traits of the best leaders were. They talk about this meeting where the CEO is saying there's an invitation to be challenged on all the key issues. But in the meeting, he steamrolls over top of his executive team, and the executive team just kind of sits there quietly and takes it. Then one VP speaks up and challenges the CEO very politely and said, "Okay, you just kind of ramrodded us here. Can we back up and have that conversation again." So the CEO, apologizes and then he opens up the floor and a real discussion happens. As they're leaving the room, somebody says to the consultant, "Do you see what that guy just did? If you can figure out what that is, that is the key to his success." And that's where the book Crucial Conversations came from. I read that book and I remember I wanted to have a crucial conversation with my wife, who's also my business partner. She was driving me to the airport, I was driving and she's in the passenger seat. We're going to the airport and I've read the book and I still myself to have the conversation. I don't even remember what it was about. And I say what I have to say, and I've got my eyes on the road and I'm thinking, "Oh my god! This book works great. I feel fantastic." And I look over at her and she's crying.  DAVID: I thought you were going to say she was asleep. And that's why it went over so well.  BLAIR: Then I thought, "Okay, there's probably other chapters of the book I need to go back and read." So I'm not great at those crucial conversations but that is absolutely a trait that I see in the most successful agency principals, is that they don't steer away from conflict. But they head right into it and when it's done, it doesn't feel a conflict, it feels like a big step forward for everybody. DAVID: Yeah, absolutely. I've learned so much just from you on a personal basis about not being afraid of the truth. So if you swallow that, if you can get to the point where you're not afraid of the truth, then the second thing I've learned just listening to you talk about this stuff is like, "Okay, if you're not afraid of the truth, then let's find the truth as soon as possible." I'm not talking about just in a sale setting, which is where you talk about a lot I'm also talking about it like in relationships. As you were telling that story about the leader who backtracked successfully you know what was even just as significant is the key manager who was capable of stopping that conversation without embarrassing the leader. That is an amazing skill too. That person probably went on to be a fantastic leader in his or her own right as well. BLAIR: That's who the feedback was on the team member said, "Okay got you." That vice president if you can figure out what he just did that's his key to success the ability to basically confront the CEO in a polite way to challenge, to have that conversation that everybody wanted to have and nobody else could bring themselves to have. So that is the key.  DAVID: Yeah, without embarrassing him. So both of those are good.  BLAIR: Well, I appreciate the credit you've given me for your successful marriage for all these years 'Cause I will take credit for that. You're welcome.  DAVID: Yeah, 38 years now. Okay. So here's the big question. I have of you, it's this. When you come across a situation and you've discovered you've said already you've admitted that confidence is a really significant, maybe the most significant factor and you come across somebody who struggles with that. What do you do?  BLAIR: That is a good question. I've heard you talk about this. It's really hard to build up somebody's confidence. I was in Strategic Coach for a few years founder Dan Sullivan is a brilliant, brilliant man. One of the brilliant things I heard him say is the most valuable asset that an entrepreneur has is his or her confidence. When I heard that I just almost screamed, "Yes." Then all of these crazy things that I do that I'm somewhat embarrassed about to build my own confidence all started to make so much sense to me. Then I went home and explained to my wife like, "These things that I do that drive you crazy and I'm a little bit embarrassed, like some of the things or things that I spend money on." If I want to feel like a million dollars if I want to feel my most confident I pay somebody to ... You cannot put a monetary value for me. I cannot put a monetary value on having shined shoes because it's the world of difference.  BLAIR: I've heard people say that underwear does that for them. I've never experienced that where you go out in the world thinking, "This underwear feels great. If anybody could see me without these clothes on, they would be super impressed. I feel like I could walk on water." I've never experienced that. But I've heard women say that a few times and I'll just take their word for it. But for me, it's having my shoes shined.  DAVID: And the flip side of this too is, since we're in a little bit of the confidence business, you can see how an undermined confidence just can wreak havoc in your mind. Whether you're in a consulting world, or whether you're in the marketing world or design world, whatever it is. Because part of what makes you work is this confidence and if you've struggled with some mental health issues, depression issues, I've struggled with depression issues. It just messes with you and it takes this internal fortification that you have to just hold on to while you get through that tough stretch, because this innate confidence is so central to your own success.  BLAIR: I'm so glad you brought that up. I think that's entirely valid in my entrepreneurial career I've never really had that moment where my confidence has disappeared on me. But it happened when I was an employee for a really large ad agency. I worked for somebody who was very good at eroding the confidence of the people who worked for her. I felt like I was in an abusive relationship and I doubted my ability to do anything. If I've felt this way, for any extended period of time, in my own business, I don't know how the business would survive it. I used to think you could take my entire business away from me, as long as I had my list my opt in subscriber list, I would be fine. Then I thought you could take my list away from me, as long as I had my reputation, I would be fine. Then I realized you can tarnish my reputation. But if you just took it away, and I was unknown to anybody, I would still succeed. In fact, I think I could probably even build a better business as long as I had my confidence. But if you took my confidence away from me, I'm done.  DAVID: Wow! BLAIR: I'm done. I think once that was pointed out to me by Strategic Coach and Dan Sullivan, I realized all these crazy things that I do and that others do, we need to keep doing them. And the people around us need to understand that in the agency, the most valuable asset in the firm is the confidence of the principal. There are no categories for this, whatever anybody else in the firm is doing, if it is eroding the confidence of the principal, it is counter productive.  DAVID: We should probably just end on that, it's such a great thought. I'm thinking too, about putting employees in places that erodes their confidence promoting them when they shouldn't have been promoted or whatever and they're swimming around feeling very uncomfortable or sentencing them to something rather than blessing them with something. All of this works in so many different areas. This is such an interesting that makes me wish that we were on a like a live town hall, where we could answer questions from people and get some of their thoughts on this stuff. Too bad it's a two way conversation here.  BLAIR: Yeah. DAVID: Fantastic. This is really interesting. Thank you for bringing this idea. Say the French thing one more time for me. Say it really well.  BLAIR: Eh, je ne sais quoi David. DAVID: Okay. Bye Blair.  BLAIR: Apologies to all my French friends. Francois if you're listening I'm sorry.

Holy shit this is random. Everything* from the big bang untill now. I decided to take some of my own advice and 'just do it'. Not obsess over whether I should do it this way or that way or whether I'd script it or wing it or anything else. I had a vague idea of what I wanted to talk about so hit record and that was that. Done beats perfect. If I've gotten something wrong, if you think I left something out, let me know imoffthelead@gmail.com. *Not everything.

Part 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bavApW4inVg&list=PLahHjqOADDrfb1TCEsWpSIwSZb85bRODk&index=2 Timestamps 0:40 Frozen Shoulder 02:05 Have you found any general trends in results from your templates? 05:25 How old is old? 12:55 How important is protein variety? 14:00 Should you do prehab and why do people do it? 16:55 Is there a minimum age someone should be before starting weight training? 19:00 How many people have read your UpToDate article? 21:15 If I've undereaten throughout the day and have 1 meal left should you reallocate any of your macros? 23:50 Thoughts on ketogenic diet and strength training? 27:50 Can I add enough LBM to eat more calories than I am now while losing weight? 32:45 Do we as physicians have concerns about people in the modern physical culture scene gaining so much body weight? Got a question or a form check for us? Submit it to media@barbellmedicine.com If submitting a video, please shoot it in landscape, from the side at 1080p or higher resolution (4k ideally) at 30 or 60 frames per second. Please trim your video as well and include the amount of weight lifted in the email. Otherwise, we can't use it :( For more of our stuff: Podcasts: goo.gl/X4H4z8 Website: www.barbellmedicine.com Instagram: @austin_barbellmedicine @jordan_barbellmedicine @leah_barbellmedicine @vaness_barbellmedicine @untamedstrength Email: info@barbellmedicine.com Supplements/Templates/Seminars/Apparel: http://www.barbellmedicine.com/shop/ Forum: https://forum.barbellmedicine.com/ Newsletter: http://eepurl.com/cpqB3nd

Podcast Summary: In January of this year, Amazon shook up the retail space by introducing their own brick-and-mortar retail space, but they added a twist. The entire store is checkout-free. Customers walk in, grab their products, and go. With the use of an app, a combination of sensors and cameras, the store tracks a consumer’s purchases and charges their Amazon card when they walk out. It’s the epitome of quick and convenient, and it’s got a lot of traditional retailers on edge. But with every new innovation, there are other companies who are quick to redesign the reinvented wheel. Now, Microsoft is designing a rebuttal to Amazon Go. While Microsoft has no interest in creating its own ecommerce platform or running a retail store, the tech giant is investing in creating cashier-less shopping technology and expanding its commercial cloud services to more retailers and businesses. Microsoft isn’t the only company that’s hopping on the Amazon bandwagon. Retailers across the globe are trying to implement Amazon-like qualities into their digital and physical marketplaces. But should they? In today’s episode, I’ll once again be joined by Dave Kuchenski and we’ll discuss how the Amazon Effect has feverishly gripped retailers, and whether or not that’s a good thing. Resources: Blog: https://blog.dieboldnixdorf.com/personalization-store-one-future-retail/#.W1s8WtJKiUk https://blog.dieboldnixdorf.com/e-commerce-represents-major-gap-for-u-s-grocers/#.W1s8etJKiUk DN website: www.dieboldnixdorf.com COMMERCE NOW website: www.commercenow.libsyn.com Transcription: Amy Lombardo:                00:01                     In January of this year, Amazon shook up the retail space by introducing their own brick and mortar retail space, but did you know they added a twist? The entire store is check-out free. Consumers walk in, grab their products and go.                                                                                 With the use of an app, a combination of sensors and cameras, the store tracks the consumer's purchasers and charges their Amazon card when they walk out. It's the epitome of quick-and-convenient, and it's got a lot of retailers on edge.                                                                                 But, with every new innovation, there are other companies who are quick to reinvent the wheel. Now, Microsoft is designing a rebuttal to Amazon Go. While Microsoft has no interest in creating its own eCommerce platform or running a retail store, the tech giant is investing in creating cashier-less shopping technology and expanding its commercial cloud services to more retailers and businesses.                                                                                 Microsoft isn't the only company that's hopping on the Amazon bandwagon. Retailers across the globe are trying to implement Amazon-like qualities into their digital and physical marketplaces, but should they?                                                                                 In today's episode, I'll once again be joined by Dave Kuchenski, Diebold Nixdorf's Director of Retail Strategy and we'll discuss how the Amazon effect has feverishly gripped retailers and whether or not that's a good thing. I'm Amy Lombardo and this is COMMERCE NOW. Amy Lombardo:                01:54                     So, hello to our listeners. I am joined once again by Dave Kuchenski, the Director of Retail Strategy here at Diebold Nixdorf. He has also shared with me that he is a self-proclaimed Sonic the Hedgehog video game expert. Hi, Dave. Welcome back. Dave Kuchenski:               01:53                     Hi Amy. I'm glad to be back. I don't know if I'd call myself a video expert. My four-year-old kind of beats me every single time we play, but thanks for sharing that with everybody. Amy Lombardo:                02:04                     Yeah, no problem. That's what you can depend on me for. All right. In our last conversation, we talked a lot about the in-store shopping experience and the idea of having this connected consumer. I want to follow up with that discussion today and give some more specific examples, but to refresh the listeners' memory, we left off talking about this idea of the blind spot.                                                                                 I think of the blind spot as that spot you can't see in your rear view mirror or even a movie that was popular a couple of years ago, but when it comes to the retail world, can you talk to me about what the blind spot is? Dave Kuchenski:               02:47                     Yeah. There's this blind spot that physical retailers have that online retailers do not. If you think about online retailers and how they market to their consumers, they have visibility to me, as a consumer, a lot of times, we have profiles that are set up. They know how many times I've come back to a site looking at a specific item.                                                                                 There's personalized ads offers loyalty and they know who I am basically while I'm shopping on their site. They know my shopping history, what I've bought before, things that I like. There's this advantage that online shoppers have that physical retailers don't.                                                                                 When I step into a physical retail store, the customer's activity is unknown. The shopping history is not visible until after I check out. I've bought some item and I'm out the door. There's a little bit of an opportunity there to capture me by the mobile app, based on the purchased history at point-of-sale, but it's a vast difference between what online shoppers are actually able to do.                                                                                 The idea is what if we could change that blind spot and help recognize customers when they're coming into the store, help provide a more immersive experience that's personalized and make that interaction inside the physical store more valuable to the consumer. Amy Lombardo:                04:07                     Yeah, that's a good point, Dave, because think about your weekly grocery store ad that you get or like your home repair store. The same things are on sale to every single consumer, no matter age, demographics, whatever that might be, and that's a good point, if there could be a little more personalized.                                                                                 On that thought, talk to me a little bit more about how the physical retail world itself is changing and how retailers can look at ways to overcome this idea of the blind spot. Dave Kuchenski:               04:38                     We see retailers innovating in several different ways around their customer's journeys. We've kind of outlined this framework of five areas that our customers, retailers are innovating. The first being, experiential. Improved in-store experiences. They generate more satisfaction in the shopping journey. It's purely about customer enjoying their time in the store. Expertise, customer store alliance, subject matter experts to provide guidance on products. We see some innovation there happening with retailers enabling their in-store associates with technology. Showrooming. We see different store formats happening.                                                                                 Groceries are a great example. If they're not just necessarily doing these giant grocery stores anymore with thousands of products in them. They're doing these smaller format-type showrooms with more frequently purchased items, so that's one example. Then, we have store intelligence. Consumers generate data within the store, things that they look at, things that they buy. Retailers are constantly trying to find ways to collect different data points, become more intelligent about the activity that's happening in their store, and then utilize that to create better experiences, offer better products for the consumers.                                                                                 Then, the last one is supply chain and fulfillment. We see all these new fulfillment models. It started with Amazon and Amazon created all these warehouses. They were able to create two-day delivery. Now, we're starting to see these physical retailers come up with creative fulfillment models to be able to deliver more products, more efficiently to customers. Amy Lombardo:                06:15                     Dave, that last example about supply chain and fulfillment, are you saying that some retailers, if they can't meet that shipping quota, they're using some of their hub-to-warehouses to actually ship product out of versus standard warehouses? Dave Kuchenski:               06:29                     Yeah, they're actually viewing their physical stores as this network of warehouses, mini-warehouses. Things like ship-from-store. They'll get drivers to come pick up items that have been bought online, in the store, and then deliver them to locations.                                                                                 They're also thinking of things like buy online and pick up in store. Buy in store and ship to home. There's a lot of different ways that they can think about how products actually get delivered to-and-from the different retail locations. Amy Lombardo:                06:59                     Well, I guess that could be a good example, if you're buying something that's very heavy or very large and it wouldn't make sense to maybe put it on a truck or what that may be. Talk to me about some of the advantages of having ship to a store or pick up in a store, because to me, it almost would seem that it would be less convenient then. Like, what's the advantage to the consumer? Dave Kuchenski:               07:24                     Yeah, there are various reasons why consumers may want to pick something up at the store. Maybe I'd buy something online and indicate that I'm going to pay with cash in the store, so consumers come in and pay with cash, so that's kind of like the last mild problem that Amazon deals with. Amazon today, if I want to buy something with cash, I have to go purchase an Amazon gift card or fund it at different locations with the cash.                                                                                 Retailers have that ability. They have the cash ecosystem already in place, so that's kind of one advantage they have there, but there's various reasons why customers may want to come into the store. Maybe I need something that day, so I buy it online and I need to pick it up immediately. There's a lot of reasons why, I think consumers may want to utilize different fulfillment models. Amy Lombardo:                08:10                     But Dave, you had talked about the Amazon model and you're not able to pay with cash. Does that speak to the whole unbanked and underbanked story line? Is there research that shows that Amazon is losing out and needs to figure out something else different for their delivery model? Dave Kuchenski:               08:29                     Well, I don't know that it's Amazon losing out. I think Amazon is trying to capture those customers, that's maybe it's had difficulties in the past with. For instance, Latin America. Latin America's a very cash-based society. Amazon has traditionally had difficulty capturing those customers in that market.                                                                                 Utilizing different fulfillment models, collect on delivery. I have, say a UPS guy show up at a house and that UPS guy is then collecting the cash for the retailer. Amy Lombardo:                09:06                     Oh, okay. That's a good example. Yeah. That makes sense. Dave Kuchenski:               09:11                     Yeah, it's well-documented that Amazon has had difficulty capturing those unbanked consumers. I really think that's one area that physical retailers kind of have an advantage, especially ones with large footprints for consumers that are cash-based to come in and pay for their goods, using cash. Amy Lombardo:                09:30                     Right, right. Let's talk a little bit about loyalty. With nowadays, just all the options available on how you want to shop and when and where, is loyalty increasing for a retailer or could it possibly be decreasing based on that experience? Dave Kuchenski:               09:48                     Yeah. Loyalty's a difficult thing for retailers to achieve today. Many times, we see consumers being more loyal to brands than to the retailers themselves. Probably has a lot to do with Amazon offering such a massive breadth of product offerings.                                                                                 If I find a brand I like and their shirts fit me well, I'm going to continue to buy that brand for simplicity's sake, because I know it's going to fit and I know I'm probably going to get a great price from Amazon. Additionally, Amazon's able to offer me a significant selection of a given item and potentially brands that I've never heard of before.                                                                                 But, they're well-rated by other buyers, so I know they're going to be quality items. The curation of products is something that is changing and retailers are going to have to excel at and find the best products at the best prices to keep up with the Amazons of the world.                                                                                 So, we've all had that experience where trying to find some off-the-wall item that I have nowhere to buy that's around me, so I go on Amazon and you find 20 different types of that given item. That's a difficult thing for physical retailers to keep up with.                                                                                 I think providing product data to consumers, it's unbiased is a great place to start. If you think about the ways that retailers have approached their eCommerce in the past, a lot of time you get these review ecosystems and you kind of question whether or not they're completely unbiased and whether they're providing me data that is actually relevant.                                                                                 You kind of get that sense with Amazon. That the reviews are pretty much unbiased. You'll get occasions where the retailer, whoever's selling on Amazon may try to skew those reviews, but Amazon sorts through those pretty quickly. As a consumer, you kind of feel like the data that you get off Amazon, the product reviews, are pretty unbiased and reliable. Amy Lombardo:                11:37                     Okay. If I'm reading between the lines, I'm thinking you're going on Amazon and trying to find your son that cool Sonic the Hedgehog action figure because he wants to play the game with you. Dave Kuchenski:               11:50                     You're right, and they do. For whatever reason, they've kind of restarted the whole Sonic the Hedgehog TV series. But, they haven't put out the toys, so the only toys left for me to buy him are the $40 pack of collectible of Sonic the Hedgehogs that are extremely fragile and he just breaks on a monthly basis and I'm left with buying another $40 pack. Amy Lombardo:                12:16                     Find a game that is a little more like the characters a little more universally known. Dave Kuchenski:               12:22                     That's right. Amy Lombardo:                12:24                     All right. In your role, you spend time looking to leaders in the retail space and what they're doing and how they're innovating and how these answers can lead us to our own business model, here at Diebold Nixdorf. Let's talk about some examples of these companies that are doing it right. Dave Kuchenski:               12:43                     The first example's I'll give is Kroger. They're really do a lot of innovative things. They're the largest, I believe the largest grocer, if not one of the top three in the United States.                                                                                 They've done a couple of things. We talked about store formats and showrooms. They've created their Fresh Eats market. It's small, convenience store. Smaller than their normal format. They offer a wide assortment of goods. Made-to-order food.                                                                                 They have comprehensive produce area, bakery in bulk section. These smaller formats. They offer a wider assortment of traditional, convenient store goods. That's one thing they've done.                                                                                 The other thing that Kroger's doing is we talked about product fulfillment. They've partnered with a company called ... I believe I have the name right. Ocado. Ocado's a fulfillment technology. They utilize technology to basically provide better store inventories to be able to enable Kroger to do their order online, deliver to my house, type of fulfillment models.                                                                                 Kroger's moving towards a model where you can order your stuff online and get it delivered to your house the same day. I think Kroger's doing an excellent job of innovating for traditional grocer. Amy Lombardo:                14:02                     Those smaller convenience stores that you were talking about, are those in lieu of or is it closing down the larger locations or are these new locations that are popping up to help with drive time or just traffic patterns? Dave Kuchenski:               14:18                     Yeah, it's a trend we've seen where supermarkets are downsizing their fleet of larger stores for these smaller footprints that are potentially a little bit easier to manage, more popular, and create that competitive advantage to be able to deliver the most common goods the same day, so doing same day delivery.                                                                                 I think it's something that is definitely going to be a trend with other grocers to help keep up. McDonald's is an interesting one. They've rolled out some new food kiosks. It's a really interesting change to a quick service restaurant model that has been around forever. It hasn't changed in my lifetime.                                                                                 You walk up to the countertop. You order your food. You stand there and wait until they bring it out and you go sit down at your table or you take it home, but they've adopted these kiosks.                                                                                 Now, you can walk in and order your food by that kiosk. You don't necessarily have to feel like your lack of decision-making is causing frustration on the person behind you because they have four to six kiosks in every location, so you don't feel rushed as a consumer.                                                                                 Chances are, you may end up buying more because you don't feel rushed and you can kind of browse the menu at your own pace. Once you make your payment at the kiosk, you pick up a table card and then go sit down and then, somebody brings you your food. There's Bluetooth built into those table cards so they know where you're saying.                                                                                 It's just a really interesting take on the traditional quick service model. I think it's something that really enhances that consumer journey for McDonald's customers. Amy Lombardo:                15:56                     Yeah, like upselling. The other day when I was using the kiosk and my daughter saw the slushy instead of the healthy juice box, I ended up having to get a slushy because it wasn't worth the complaining. Dave Kuchenski:               16:09                     Yeah, that's right. There's probably reasons that those kind of products are down at the bottom of the kiosk where kids can see. Amy Lombardo:                16:17                     I know, I know. That's smart marketing, smart marketing. How about an example about expertise? Is there one that lies in that portion? Dave Kuchenski:               16:25                     Yes. Several of the beauty retailers are doing an excellent job with this. Companies like Ulta, Sephora. They have these beauty technicians. They're enabling them with technology about me as a consumer, what I like, what I need. They're enabling their associates with things to be able to allow the consumer to virtually try on different products and see how it looks.                                                                                 I think Sephora and Ulta are great examples of enabling those subject matter experts in the stores to be able to better help serve their consumers. Amy Lombardo:                17:01                     Okay. Dave Kuchenski:               17:03                     I think Domino's is an interesting one. Domino's came out with great market earnings. Business models don't always have to be difficult. Things can be simple to make money. I don't know if you guys have ordered with Domino's lately, but they're basically an eCommerce company that delivers pizza or makes pizza.                                                                                 They know ... They capture me on my mobile device. They capture me online. The ordering process is really simple. When I place an order, you, as a consumer, get a time that your order goes in. You get a time that your order is finished cooking. You can see when your driver has left the store, when they're on route to your house, when exactly they're going to be there.                                                                                 I think that Domino's is an excellent example of a pretty simple business model. They make pizzas and they deliver them to their consumers, but they really transform themselves into an eCommerce company that utilizes things like data analytics and mobile to really drive a better experience for their consumer. Amy Lombardo:                18:06                     That seems interesting to go through all of that for a pizza, or salad, whatever it might be, for something that's a low dollar amount type item, but if earnings are well, then obviously, it's working, right? Dave Kuchenski:               18:22                     Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I think they've done an excellent job of surpassing their competitors. Little pizza shops, they have difficulty keeping up with that because they can't invest in that technology to kind of really, I'll call it Uberize the pizza business. Amy Lombardo:                18:40                     Right. I want to keep going on this for a minute because you brought up something interesting, these mom-and-pop pizza shops. Within the small-to-medium business size market, are there maybe less costly or less time invasive-type things that those SMB market can look at reinvent themselves, based on what we've talked about here today? Dave Kuchenski:               19:06                     Well, I think what the small-to-medium businesses can do is, they can identify their pain points, because there's nothing that gets a consumer to stop interacting with your business like some significant pain point. Maybe it's a payment, maybe it's your menu and how you interact with your consumer by that menu. Are products difficult to find on your menu? Is your ordering difficult?                                                                                 I think that focusing on those little pain points and identifying them first off and then coming up with some creative way to solve that pain point is something that the small-to-medium businesses can do to really just create a positive interaction because that's going to keep customers coming back. That's going to create this word-of-mouth that is going to help your customer base grow.                                                                                 I think that the biggest piece of advice is just focus on those pain points and get rid of them. Utilize the things that are available to you. Your past customer shopping history is a good one that every retailer has small or large. I think that's good advice for SMBs. Amy Lombardo:                20:13                     Okay. That makes sense. How about store intelligence? Is there an example of store intelligence being used? Dave Kuchenski:               20:19                     Coop Italia is a great example. They created the store of the future. I think they launched it several years back. You can go actually and use it and people use it every single day. It's blending the digital and physical into one experience in stores. The products that are on their shelves, they use this technology to see what consumers are reaching for.                                                                                 Say, I pick up an apple or I pick up a banana. The digital signage within the store is changing based on what I touch and what I put in my cart. I may pick up a banana. I look at the digital signage. It tells me where that banana is from. It tells me the price, the nutritional information. They're really trying to blend the digital and physical space into one experience that is creating this more immersive-type of grocery experience. They can potentially utilize that data of what I've touched and felt. We talked about that blind spot and not being able to recognize consumers and what they're looking at, or what they're touching and feeling in stores.                                                                                 Coop Italia's doing a great example of collecting all those data points that consumers are generating and then utilizing that data to then potentially upsell or just create a better experience in general. Amy Lombardo:                21:36                     How else is store intelligence used? Is there other examples of that or is it just the idea of you're picking up a product? Like, are cameras being used to see what the consumer shopping or maybe the pattern of which they walk throughout the store? Dave Kuchenski:               21:53                     Yeah, there's several ways. Consumer tracking via cameras is one way to see where there's hot spots throughout the store. Consumers stand in this area more often than over here in this area. There could be various reasons why. It could be which signage is up, which products. It could be that people don't linger very long in the frozen section.                                                                                 There's various ways to capture that. There's actually some technology out there too that's utilizing lighting to be able to interact with the cameras on our phones. If I've got my phone out, they can actually track where consumers are moving to.                                                                                 It's evolving technology, but again, I think it all comes down to identifying a consumer, anonymously or not, watching them walk through the store, seeing what they're collecting, seeing what they're picking up, utilizing the different data points that are available to the retailer, and then that enables you to help remove that blind spot and potentially increase your conversion rate in store, raise your basket size, and then just increase your revenue in general. Amy Lombardo:                23:02                     Let's close out the conversation with just some best practices. Is there a sweet spot? Is there a secret sauce here that retailers need to be taking away from this conversation? Dave Kuchenski:               23:15                     I think the first thing is, retailers have an imperative to adopt to changing consumer expectations. Don't sit back and hope your loyal customers are going to continue to visit your stores. Delight them with new experiences and information they don't expect.                                                                                 You may wake up tomorrow and find that some other retailer has provided a unique enough experience to lure them away. It's really competitive out there. Physical retailers need to take a design thinking approach to solve consumers' needs.                                                                                 Consider your customer journeys. Evaluate their pain points they experience every day. What are the best products available to me? Am I getting the best price? Where do I find these items in store? How can we get customers in-and-out as quickly as possible? How can I utilize data about my customers to curate products and provide a better experience?                                                                                 I think there's a lot of different ways if you just think about the consumer and their needs, you can achieve a lot. Repurposing the physical space to kind of create a greater value to the consumer is just good business. Times are changing. Consumers' expectations are getting bigger, so it's important to evaluate what is valuable to your consumer and deliver on those expectations.                                                                                 It's going to be different for each retail vertical and each retailer in those spaces. So, begin with your customers' journeys and I think that's going to get you started down the right path. Amy Lombardo:                24:29                     Okay. Thanks, Dave, for being with me here today and to our listeners for tuning into this episode of COMMERCE NOW. To find out more on this topic, go to dieboldnixdorf.com and click on the link in the podcast show notes. Until next time, keep checking back on iTunes or however you listen to your podcasts for new topics from COMMERCE NOW.

In the ROMcast Q&A episodes, Dan answers the best questions from the week on CrossFit, health, improving athletic performance, psychology, mobility, nutrition and much more. Robyn asks: If I've got dominant muscle groups how can I make sure I don't neglect weaker muscles? Claire asks: I'm always sore. Should I be training through this or is there something I need to change? Claire asks: My performance is improving but my bodyweight is staying the same. Why is this? Jimmy and Grant ask: How many days off can I have before I start to lose my strength and fitness? How can I hold on to it? How long does it take to get back? Maea asks: How do I know when to change my strategy in training to become more aggressive as I get fitter? ROMcast provides bite-sized chunks of health, happiness, fitness and performance. Presented by Exercise Physiologist and Scientist, Coach and Director of Range of Motion, Dan Williams. Enjoy ROMcast? We'd love if you could rate or review our show on iTunes or Stitcher, and don't forget to subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher so you don't miss future episodes!

"Money just makes you more of who you already were." - Sara Blakely   I've been thinking a lot about what it means to own my worth in my career lately. I'm in an evolution in my own career, and I did a massive career change 4 years ago, so it's something I have experience with. The first six years of my career I worked in corporate insurance sales - about as traditional of a profession as you can get. Then I did a career 180 and became a freelancer in a completely different industry (online content creation). It was a trip. Not only did it give me the opportunity to remake my relationship with my professional worth, it was the very beginning of how I learned to live worthfully. This episode is one of my favorites so far. It's something I'm so passionate about. It's something that I've lived and I continue to live daily. If I've learned anything about my worth from working for myself, it's that my profession, bank account, and status will never reflect my true worth. So the sooner I focus my self-worth on who I am outside of my career, the quicker I'll be able to give my best contribution.   LISTEN ON: Apple Podcasts  |  Spotify  |  Google Play  | Stitcher Show notes: What it means to hire yourself (3:12) How to feel worthfull when you are freelancing (9:15) How I learned to attach my worth to something other than a paycheck (11:10) The value of listening to other people's stories of how they made it (12:30) The lifesaver that got me through the early years of working for myself (14:18) Why it's so important to do things that bring you joy regardless of income (16:32) What we have to unlearn to own our worth in our work (26:45)   "The habits that we form when we are at our lowest are the habits that stick with us when we are at our highest."   Links I mention: The Pinterest pin that inspired me ^^ Tony Robbins Sara Blakely Carrie-Anne Moss Follow Christine: Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest

If I've learned anything in the past four years, and especially in the past six months, it was that I was wrong about something fundamental from the very get-go. In Episode #1 of the podcast back in 2014, I asserted that Star Wars belonged to us as fans, and that George Lucas created a new kind of public trust by creating something so culturally resonant as Star Wars. Well, parts of the reasoning were true, but the conclusion was anything but. Punch it! ***I'm listener supported! Go to http://Patreon.com/sw7x7 to donate to the Star Wars 7x7 podcast, and you’ll get some fabulous rewards for your pledge.***  Check out SW7x7.com for full Star Wars 7x7 show notes and links, and to comment on any of the content of this episode! If you like what you've heard, please leave me a rating or review on iTunes or Stitcher, which will also help more people discover this Star Wars podcast. Don't forget to join the Star Wars 7x7 fun on Facebook at Facebook.com/SW7x7, and follow the breaking news Twitter feed at Twitter.com/SW7x7Podcast. I'm also on Pinterest and Instagram as "SW7x7" too, and I'd love to connect with you there!

What do you do when you want to bring more spirituality into your business but you're afraid it's too taboo?   In this episode I'm diving into this Q and sharing my story of how I went from scared of being judged to talking all about tarot, energy, crystals, law of attraction, #allthethings within my business without giving af what people think.   I've been able to overcome the fear of turning people off and finding freedom in sharing my story and my message unapologetically.   If I've been able to do this as a recovering perfectionist with major anxiety... you can too. - - - Have you joined the Money Making Mavens group yet? Click here to get access: http://lizwhite.co/join - - - Follow me on Insta @lizwhite.co for more money, mindset, and magic vibes. - - -

This podcast contains a 27 minute track by my alter ego "Chillout Preservation Collective". It's kind of a dub ambient thing, and rather minimal in nature. Why do I release tracks under pseudonyms? Well, first because it's easy to do in this modern digital era. If I've got something I've made that I think is outside the realm of what I normally do, then I might as release it on it's own. I'll tell a small number of people following along about it, whether it be via podcast or my email newsletter, and blog post. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Second, why not? When I started getting into music in the 80s, I was always fascinated by artists who released things under various names. * Web site and Mailing list: http://www.markrushton.com/ Follow me at Spotify: http://spotify.markrushton.com Buy downloads at Bandcamp: https://markrushton.bandcamp.com/ Buy compact discs: http://markrushton.com/music/buy-compact-discs/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ambientrushton Paypal donations: https://www.paypal.me/ambientrushton * This podcast is hosted by Libsyn at: http://ambient.libsyn.com Podcast RSS feed is http://ambient.libsyn.com/rss

This podcast contains a 27 minute track by my alter ego "Chillout Preservation Collective". It's kind of a dub ambient thing, and rather minimal in nature. Why do I release tracks under pseudonyms? Well, first because it's easy to do in this modern digital era. If I've got something I've made that I think is outside the realm of what I normally do, then I might as release it on it's own. I'll tell a small number of people following along about it, whether it be via podcast or my email newsletter, and blog post. It doesn't have to be a big deal. Second, why not? When I started getting into music in the 80s, I was always fascinated by artists who released things under various names. * Web site and Mailing list: http://www.markrushton.com/ Follow me at Spotify: http://spotify.markrushton.com Buy downloads at Bandcamp: https://markrushton.bandcamp.com/ Buy compact discs: http://markrushton.com/music/buy-compact-discs/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ambientrushton Paypal donations: https://www.paypal.me/ambientrushton * This podcast is hosted by Libsyn at: http://ambient.libsyn.com Podcast RSS feed is http://ambient.libsyn.com/rss

Katrina: We are live. Matt: So you just wanna like rest that on you? Katrina: Sure. Katrina: Is this lighting gonna be good with the beach behind it for your videos? Matt: It's gonna be a bit hard to get it all in. Katrina: Hello. Matt: [inaudible 00:00:19] Katrina: I look amazing on my own live stream, but that's a one-time thing. We need it to look amazing on the actual videos. Katrina: Hello, people. People of the internet. Hello and welcome. I'm gonna turn the camera around so Matt can say hi to you. Katrina: Matt's gonna film, filming myself. I'll explain it in a moment. Katrina: So we're gonna do, hello Michelle. Hello, Amber. See, I find that the only way I can sit properly on this throne is to sit up like this, in some sort of a lotus ninja position. But I don't want that- Matt: It's gonna be like just wear your boobs. Katrina: Okay, perfect. Katrina: Hello, floating devil Katrina. Have you seen this? Come and check this out on my live stream. Centre more Katrina, so Matt can see. He's not seeing it yet. Look at those little floaty Katrinas. Katrina: And look that says 1%. Send some press play ones, guys, be helpful. Send some press play ones. Where are the press play ones. It's so cool. There's some Katrinas. They look like little possessed demons. And that says press play. Matt: That's awesome. Katrina: How cool is it? Katrina: Oh, and if you go watch this replay on my page, it has a banner down the bottom that says- Matt: Oh, [inaudible 00:01:36] idea. Katrina: Which is so next level here. High tech as fuck. I feel like my own live stream here is off-center. Who wants to see behind the scenes of creating my new funnel? Who? Who? Well, presumably all of you, or you wouldn't have jumped on. Hi, welcome. I'm gonna explain what we're doing. Hang on, I've gotta tell my team I'm live. I am live. Please share. Okay, don't forget. I'll just tell you right now. Do it right away. I'm messaging Kat [inaudible 00:02:08]. Katrina: I'm about to film, hang on, do you think I need my press play cushion in the frame there? Matt: I wouldn't see it in this but if you want [inaudible 00:02:17]. Katrina: Okay, yes. Pass it over. Throw it over. Katrina: It's happening here. Katrina: You can never have too many sparkles in a live stream. That's a proven fact. It's in the Wikipedia. Katrina: Oh, that's better. All right. Welcome to the show. Do you know what? Remind me always if we're filming and I have a hairband on my wrist, 'cause I'm always shitty about it afterwards. Lucky I just noticed. I'm shitty about it when I see the footage. Katrina: So Matt's here doing my professional videography. He's gonna create a new episode of what's it even called? Katrina Ruth Unchained or is it still called Kat Unchained? Matt: Kat Unchained. Katrina: Kat Unchained, if you don't know is one of my, it's my publicly created and edited and put together show which Matt films, edits, creates, Katrina: And it shows lots of cool insights behind the scenes of what I'm doing and what my team's doing and how I bring things to life. You should go check out previous episodes of that. You would get a real cool insight into the journey that is me. Even the journey of the evolution of Kat Loterzo into Katrina Ruth. Katrina: And today we're gonna create a new episode of that, 'cause why would you not? We haven't done it for ages, 'cause people are just travelling merrily around the world too much. Katrina: But we're also gonna film three videos, I think it's three videos. Let me find the three specific short videos that will only be like two to three minutes each and we're gonna use these videos, me and my team are gonna use these videos in my new funnel marketing. So i thought that rather than selfishly film only by myself and then you had to wait till you saw it on a Facebook ad and then you didn't understand what I'm even doing, why would I not just share with you the behind the scenes? If you love that idea and you think I'm amazing, send me extra love, hot emojis and extra press play ones. No, 1% ones, 'cause they're pink and they match the throne. Katrina: How's your footage? Am I all set up properly? Matt: Yeah, it's good here. Katrina: Before we start, I wanna remind you, thank you [Min 00:04:18], for dropping that comment right there. Before we start, I would love to remind you that there are, or tell you, because you might not need reminding, 'cause maybe you don't realise this but there's only three places left for reach out empire. Reach out empire has just begun a couple of days ago. It is my most transformational one on one intensive six weeks one on one, you and me, me and you, us together. I will kick your ass with love and compassion every single day and sometimes a little bit harder than that. You're gonna get super accountability. Super alignment. Super ass kickery and all the crazy results [inaudible 00:04:52]. You should check out just all the testimonies we'll be posting everyday. They are bad ass as fucked. I real, as fucked? I realised I've been, this is a confession. Katfession, you should film this, Matt, we can use this for some kind of little page. Who wants a Katfession? Katrina: Soon, I'll tell you what we're doing with the funnel. Here's my Katfession. Hashtag Katfession. I actually have two. But the first one is, I'm talking to this camera now, just so you know. The first one is I haven't been, pretty much in the entire history of my business or maybe back to the fitness business, I don't show client results. Like, I'll show them like once a year, or I'll sort of mumble mumble them under my breath. Katrina: I consistently get insane client results, like people making crazy amounts of money. Fast. But better still, alignment, random weight loss, which just happens from alignment anyway, whole life up levelled, location free stuff, quitting jobs, getting into [inaudible 00:05:42] relationships, whatever it is. And my clients are telling me this stuff every day. And pretty much for years, pretty much since I was showing bikini body results, like years ago. I just haven't shown that shit. And I think, I wonder if anyone else has done this? I think that I had some kind of reverse weird ego thing going on with it, where I was kinda like, "I don't want people to think I'm just kind of flaunting myself on the internet". Katrina: And so just kind of note it down and obviously, celebrate with the client, but then never tell people. And so I kicked my own ass around it. You've gotta kick your own ass from time to time. You can't wait for somebody else to do it. And I just got over myself and started fucking posting them everyday just since like last Sunday, but they're insane, the results that I've been posting and it's been so inspiring for me, 'cause it reminds me how bad ass my clients are. But I gotta admit, I've always been like, "What in the fuck? Do I not like making money?" I mean, clearly I make a lot of money anyway, actually, which is another thing just relevant to the fact that you make money from your energy, not from whether you post testimonials. But it does make a difference. So there you are. Katrina: So if you wanna see all those, you probably been seeing them all week on Facebook anyhow. Reach out empire. Three places left. This will sell out. My estimation is, my prediction is that it will sell out by lunch time tomorrow my time. So let's say, maybe 24 hours from now. So you wanna message me, message me, message me on my Katrina Ruth personal page right away if you'd like the full details and overview of that. I don't know why this is my new thing. I think it works for me. And I'll get you the details and if it's for you, we will get your ass in, it is one on one. You get unlimited one on one access to me, by the way. And also this is the final chance to work with me at the intensive six-week rapid result level for the significantly lower investment than the only other way that you can work with me one on one, which after this will be my $72,000 Inner Circle. And at some point, of course it's gonna be on reach out empire again, but it's gonna be way later on in the year. Katrina: All right. I had another confession, but I'm gonna save it. You can just stew about it and wonder what it is. It's super embarrassing for me. So we're gonna film three videos. Three videos. Here they are. What we're doing. I hate being under command you guys. I fucking hate it. So I know I said that I was gonna live stream this so that you can see behind the scenes of how we're creating my new funnel and I'll talk you through what I'm doing, because I think that's a nice thing for me to do and it's helpful of me. So I give myself credit for being a nice person and a helpful person, but if you wanna know the real initial reason that I decided to do that, it's because I fucking hate making things under command and then the way that I would feel happier about it is doing my own content at the same time. Even though, technically, this is my own content, 'cause it is for me. Katrina: And [Frank Cohn 00:08:33], who's my private mentor, and is the most hilarious man on the internet and also fucking amazing marketer and the only person I'll listen to on internet marketing has asked me to do this and so indeed, I will. Katrina: So what we're doing is were creating, I believe, a five or it could be five to seven small videos that are gonna be roughly two to three minutes in length each, I believe. Let me check the minute time over here of what they want. Katrina: No, okay. So, Matt, what's your take on this? Hang on, let's put Matt on the camera. People who are talking should be seen. So [Brahman 00:09:05] says it could be up to six minutes, but it can't be six minutes just of Katrina talking, can that mesh together with other interesting random stuff, mash up with testimonials and client footage or be [inaudible 00:09:21] stuff? What do you think about that? Matt: What's this for? Oh, for this. Katrina: The videos. Matt: Yeah, we can do that, yeah. Katrina: We can do that. You heard it. Katrina: All right. Of course we can. Like he's gonna be like, "No, we can't do that. I refuse. I won't do it." Katrina: Okay. So basically, I don't know why I'm worrying about how long I should talk for, 'cause I think we all know that I'm gonna talk for exactly as long as I desire to talk for and when I'm done, I'll be done and not before, but really it shouldn't be longer than five or six minutes, 'cause these videos are for Facebook ads and as much as I do think people love to watch my shit, they're not gonna watch Facebook ad videos for no longer than six minutes and they're probably not even gonna watch six minutes either. Katrina: Brahman says, "I would be okay with the video done professionally for six minutes long, but it can't just be six minutes of Katrina in front of the camera." I think everybody fucking wants six minutes of Katrina in front of the camera. I feel like that's offensive, but maybe not new people who don't know me yet. We would need breakaway shots of purpose-built footage samples from live streams and still images from the Kat archives. While I wouldn't wanna tell you what to say in each video, and indeed she should not, because good luck with that, attached is a high-level storyboard of what could be included in the videos. Katrina: Look how fucking strategic I am. I don't think I've ever done so much planning in my entire adult life. I'm gonna go off script now and do whatever the fuck I want. But basically, what we're gonna do is we're gonna have five, there'll be no business to [inaudible 00:10:44], John. I think you've manifested that I always reply quickly to your comments, 'cause I saw you said that the other day, now I find myself responsively doing it. You've somehow trained me on it. Katrina: I don't know if I care for that sort of neurological conditioning. So what was I saying? Five to seven videos. Here's how it works. You'll get the first video in your newsfeed. The first video is gonna be that one we made in Santa Monica, you know the one Chris produced from, the official one that shows the whole story and bad assery of me. That's a good video if you've not seen it. It's super high-level. Katrina: And then if they watch 25%, this is how the campaign works. If they watch 25% of video number one, numero uno, then they get elevated like in a, what is it, video game. They go to the next level. They get to watch the next video, which is gonna be this one. Katrina talking about journaling. See, even though I love journaling, and I'm totally happy to make a video about journaling, when I read this, my inner mind just goes, "Katrina talking about journaling." Okay, fine. I'll talk about journaling. Katrina: Why, what, when, where, how? We need the video to answer a question. Possible questions could be can journaling change your business overnight? No. But maybe. Okay, fine. Yes. Is this one thing the reason you're constantly stuck in your business? We gotta think of a question. Tell me a good question. Katrina: Don't worry, we'll get it. And then we want breakaway video shots. Video shots of Katrina journaling, still shots of Katrina journaling. Shouldn't be a problem. Okay, so we're doing that. Then we're doing a fitness video. What? No, we're just talking about self-care and fitness. And then we're doing messaging, about messaging and sharing and unleashing what's inside of you with the internet. I'm sure I have many things to say about that. And we're gonna do a sales one, as well. Katrina: Those are the four videos we're gonna film now. I may or may not livestream the whole thing. We're gonna let it be freaking real, right? So it's not supposed to look like no mistakes or something like that. There's gonna be outfit changes for this livestream, just so you know. Because that way, every time they get a new video on their feed, they're gonna see, I chose the scenery myself. They're gonna see the same background, but I'll have a different top on, so it'll look a little bit different in the feed. Katrina: So then each time they watch 25% of a video, they go to the next video, 25% or more and that's what they'll then see in their feed. And so the four videos that I just talked through, they cover what you might know, 'cause I've talked about this a lot on my four daily non-negotiables, right? So some form of inner work, like journaling. Some form of self-care like fitness. Some form of messaging and sharing your work when you're out with the world, and some form of sales activity. I say over and over again, these are the four things that you wanna do each day to be super fucking successful as an entrepreneur creator. Katrina: So the purpose of this funnel, this Facebook ad campaign, is to obviously indoctrinate people into me, into my message, into what I'm here to teach, get to know me, have some fun. We'll probably mash through some client testimonial stuff, as well, of course. And then at the end, or somewhere throughout, what it's gonna be promoting, what the funnel is promoting is my inner circle. Katrina: So as I just mentioned earlier, after these final three places for reach out empire are sold out, then I'm focusing only on the inner circle for some time now and really investing my time and attention into my existing private clients who are in reach out empire, as well as into the inner circle and growth of the inner circle. Katrina: And so, that's what I'm doing this campaign for, as well as obviously, general indoctrination into the Katrina Ruth community. And then there'll be other things that get marketed into the funnel, of course, beyond that. Katrina: So that gives you the whole story, now you're up to speed. Are you good with how it all looks? Matt: Yeah. Any chance we can move the front of it a little bit that way? Katrina: Yes. Yeah, that's good. All right. Let me have some water before we begin. All right, so- Matt: Do you wanna have a look before we shoot the whole thing? Katrina: Yes. Okay, we'll go and look how I look on the camera, because- Matt: Can you sit down for a sec? Katrina: Oh. Katrina: Can you get the whole Grateful Dead top in or not? Matt: I can. Katrina: Because one thing that drives me insane is that when I'm doing my own livestreams I can control my appearance, but when somebody else is filming, I have no fucking idea how I look and I feel very out of control. Katrina: All right. So anyway, what I'm gonna film now. I look amazing. All right, show the people. Good job. All right. We're set. We are safe to continue. Katrina: Anyway, so now basically, I'm just gonna talk to you about journaling, so really you can ignore the fact that I'm filming this behind the scenes and I'm just gonna drop some bad ass value and content on your ass and that way you don't even have to watch all the Facebook ads, you can save yourself the time. Matt: So you just look in this camera? Katrina: I can't talk to you guys, though. Did I put that back in the right spot? Matt: Yeah, that's fine. Katrina: I'm not gonna look at you. I'm gonna look at this camera. All right? Matt: When you're ready. Katrina: Do you know what? I'm having a moment of nervousness. I feel like what I need to do first is just watch a minute of Frank Kern's videos, remind myself of how he intros himself. That's right, people, sometimes I'm not sure of myself and I go into a mild panic. Label Frank Kern. We're all gonna watch a minute of a Frank Kern video now. He has 44,000 views on this video. I adore Frank. He's the president of the internet, if you aren't aware. Did you know that? Matt: Nope. Katrina: Just like I'm the queen of the internet. He has Tony Robbins on his video. I don't have that. Video footage: My name's Frank Kern. About ten years ago [crosstalk 00:16:33]- Katrina: What's happening? He seems to be talking fast. Video footage: ... great joy and honour to work with Tony. He's just a real fun guy and the same person that you see on stage and on screen is the same person you'll sit across the table from. Katrina: All right. I've got it now. I just needed some Frank Kern energy in my soul before I began. I got it now. Thank you, Olga. Katrina: Isn't it funny? 'Cause I have no problem live streaming for like 59 hours straight and it would be such gold content and why couldn't my team just not fucking chop the content out of a live stream and use that for the ads, that's what I get shitty about. As soon as I've got like a topic, Matt notices this more than anyone, 'cause he's the one that has to put up with it, then I'm like I don't feel as natural and I get it done eventually, though. Katrina: And then I'm proud of myself, because I'm continually just exploding past those comfort zones, people. All right, let's talk about channelling now. Do I need to turn like that way? Matt: You can if you want. Yeah. That's probably better. Katrina: So should we turn the whole throne a little bit? 'Cause in my- Matt: Yeah. Katrina: ... off centre now? If you know what I mean? Matt: Yeah. Katrina: Okay. Just the normal everyday sermon, should we turn the whole throne a little bit. All right. So now I'm not gonna look at you guys, but you're gonna get some gold about journaling. [inaudible 00:17:54] for five minutes, okay. Katrina: I'd make a terrible camera woman on a news show. I feel so nervous. Katrina: Hey, it's Katrina Ruth here from the Katrina Ruth show and today I wanna talk to you about the most powerful practise, which has transformed my business and my life and allowed me to bring in multi millions of dollars per year, just by putting my purpose book out into the world, connecting with clients who I consider to be my soulmate clients and doing the work that I know I was born to do in the world. Katrina: What I'm talking about is journaling. Now if you've never heard of journaling, or maybe you've not really dived into this as a practise for yourself, or you don't know much about it, then I know that probably the response you might be having right now is like, "Journaling? How can journaling really change your business or allow you to create anything that you want into your life?" Katrina: And that's exactly what I'm here to tell you. I feel so passionately about this that when I hear that people don't journal, or they don't journal consistently, I kinda feel like as if they would've told me that they don't drink water. I feel like alert. We need to tell somebody. This is the problem. This is like a national disaster. How are you living like this? I mean, I understand that you're somehow surviving and getting by, but do you realise how powerful this practise is to allow you to call in and to create everything in your life? Katrina: Now I've been journaling since I was about six or seven years old. I don't think I was using journaling for manifestation at that point in time. I think I was logically documenting my day, like dear diary, and then when I got a little bit older, I'll admit I used to hide in the bushes in the front yard of my parents home and I would kind of take notes like Harriet the Spy. I would take notes. Some people as they were walking by and then I would make up stories about them. Katrina: But by the time I got to about 18 or 19 years of age, I naturally or maybe I read it in some personal development books, probably heard about it from somewhere, but a lot of it just kinda naturally happened. I love to write, I love to be inside of my own head, I'm a natural introvert and I am a writer first and foremost, and so I started to just naturally journal about a lot of my hopes and dreams and I guess, use it as a way to process my thoughts, but also write down goals and ideas, do brainstorming, make little plans and slowly but surely, over time, I noticed that I had this pretty consistent habit of writing down the things that I wanted in my life, so kind of like, yeah, my dreams and my visions and the things that I wanted to bring to life. Katrina: Probably when I was around 21 or 22 years of age, I started to learn about and understand about manifestation and I know I watched the movie the Secret when it came out, which was roughly around that age for me, as a lot of people did and I was sort of fascinated by this idea that you could just focus on what you want and then create it into your life. Katrina: And pretty much like I do with everything to do with personal development and creating your own reality, I straight away believed, even though I didn't understand how. Katrina: Now if you have that same sort of belief inside of you, even if you don't understand how, then I know that you have so much available for you, that you could literally step into within the next several months, the next several weeks, in fact even now, using the power of instant manifestation. Katrina: And this is exactly how I live now and how my tens of thousands of followers and clients around the world and smaller group of private clients, obviously, but how my extended community and clients around the world operate. We call in our reality. We write into reality the things that we want. Katrina: For me, I've now been journaling in that way since, well, at least when I was 21, 22, journaling my affirmations and dreams and goals down, I'm 38 years old now, and so for well over a decade, for a decade and a half plus, I've been actively writing down what I wanna create and I've been learning different things about journaling and the power of our words along the way. Katrina: What I wanna impart to you is so powerful and so important that I feel like it's almost impossible to get it through to you, but I guess to just kind of make my point here, every single thing that I've written down, that I then held a belief with some faith around has come to life. Katrina: When I look around me, like literally right now when I look around me, I'm in my own studio right now in my home. I've got full wall-to-ceiling ocean views on seven balconies in this home. This is a double story sub penthouse apartment. I've got my own studio. I make millions of dollars a year just by showing up and being me and writing and speaking to the camera like this. Katrina: I work only with bad ass soulmate clients who really align with my message and who I feel like are the same sort of person with me. And they kick massive ass, they take names, they create incredible businesses all around the world doing what they love and on top of that, I've achieved my fitness goals. I continue to achieve and maintain my fitness goals, lifestyle goals, love and romance, fun and adventure, friendships, you name it. And every single one of those things started with me writing down my dreams in a journal. Katrina: So here's what I want you to do. I want you to think about what is it that you really want. Firstly, are you admitting to yourself what you really want? I think one of the reasons that journaling is so powerful is it's kind of like a mirror in front of you, right? It's holding up that mirror in front of you. And you can't run from that. You gotta look there, look it in the eye and look your own inner self or your highest self in the eye and confess what's in there. I think that most people out there are continually running and hiding from their dreams and refusing to pay attention to the message that's coming through them. Katrina: So journaling is a powerful tool to simply acknowledge and let what's inside of you come up and put it into words. Words are powerful. Words create reality. Yes, you can do that without writing them down, however the written word is incredibly, incredibly fucking powerful. Katrina: And so when you write that down, you lay claim to it. You take a stand. You create some accountability around it and you already in fact, start to bring it to life just from writing it down. In fact, there's many different tips and tricks around journaling for how to word things in a particular way that brings them to life faster and that's something I can certainly teach you more on and talk about as we continue our journey of discussion together. Katrina: But for now, I want you to think about what is it that's inside of you that you're hiding that you're not maybe admitting to yourself that you're running from. Can you put that into writing? And then from there, it's a matter of stepping into permission around it, right? So acknowledging first, this is what I want, this is what I desire, this is what I feel is available to me inside of me. Katrina: And then through that process of writing it down, taking the time internally to go, you know what? I'm going to give myself permission. No, I don't know how, I have no clue where to start or what I would do to bring this to life, but I'm going to give myself permission that I do get to have this. That can feel incredibly scary. Journaling is a scary and confronting thing to dive into. Katrina: And from there, though, it's faith. It's faith-based. So if I've given myself permission to have this stuff. If I've acknowledged that it's inside of me. If I then choose to believe and have faith that I could bring it to life, then what aligned action am I going to take as I go into my day? Katrina: And so this simple process might take you 10 to 15 minutes in the morning of just kind of checking in, tuning down, writing down some of the things that are inside of you. You don't then have to go and make an action plan, but it's about the fact that you've set that internal compass. You've pointed yourself in the direction of what you want. It will impact your actions throughout the rest of the day. You can take a moment or two to think of what is an action I would take from a place of really believing in yourself, but you know what? Journaling is so freaking effective, that even if you don't do that, you've literally just moved yourself in that direction. Katrina: So I can't tell you how passionate I am about journaling or I feel like I can't, but I just did maybe a little bit of a decent job of trying to explain that to you. I hope you found it really helpful. I hope you get out there and give this a go and if you have a journaling habit that you think that you could maybe increase a little bit, then I really encourage you to do that. Leave me a comment below. Tell me your experience about journaling and what are you gonna make some changes and shifts in that area. Katrina: I'm Katrina Ruth.Have an amazing rest of the day wherever you are in the world, and do not forget, life is now press play. Katrina: All right. First one done. I have no idea how long that took. How long did I go for? Matt: Four minutes. Katrina: Oh, is that all? Matt: Yup. Katrina: Great. I thought it went way longer. Matt: Oh, actually, it's a lie. Katrina: It's a lie. Matt: Six and a half, seven. Katrina: What do you guys think? Was that helpful around journaling? What's going on? People in the comments are saying they never journaled. Okay, John, you need to watch this whole Facebook ad sequence when it goes live. Everyone freaking journals. For the reasons I just explained. By the way, none of that was scripted. I had no freaking clue what I was gonna say, I just opened my mouth and it popped out. So I had a little few fumbles there, but we'll either leave them in or Matt will edit them out and put some other different footage in there or whatever is needed, right? Katrina: So you just saw me like, I know I didn't freak out for ages. I am pretty practised, I guess at doing this sort of stuff compared to maybe a lot of people. But I still, it doesn't feel comfortable for me to do this stuff. I feel like out of my comfort zone. It's definitely why I put this live stream on, so that I would kind of put myself in that accountability and I knew that it would elevate my energy having you here so thank you and I appreciate you for that. Katrina: I knew that it would provide good content for you, as well. Good content for the YouTube show, so I'm literally creating three pieces of content at the same time, if not more, 'cause then we can pop it on Instagram and all that sort of good stuff also. Katrina: But I guess my point to you is, and this probably should be me just doing the messaging video now [inaudible 00:27:14]. But my point is, you've gotta just start, right? Like I feel so squirmy when I do kind of professionally created content. I don't do it anywhere near as often as I do my normal day-to-day messaging, so I'm less practised at it in that regard, but I still step up and I take that leap and I open my freaking mouth and I let shit come out and I get better and better each time. Katrina: Like even now, how I'm presenting and even how I feel inside of myself compared to when we were filming when we first started working together a couple of years, it's a whole different thing, right? So just wanna remind you of that, if maybe creating a high level of content has been something that you're avoiding in your business. Katrina: Okay. So we're gonna do next video now, which is around self-care. Oh my goodness, this is so good. I'm so excited to speak about this. We're gonna speak about self-care, health and fitness being non fucking negotiable for entrepreneurs, except I'm not allowed to say non fucking negotiable on a Facebook ad, so we'll see how we go. All right. Should I just go? Matt: You gonna change? Katrina: Oh, fuck. Thank you. Matt: [inaudible 00:28:14] Katrina: I better get changed. Matt: Do you want me to, just change it all, that'd be fine. Katrina: Okay. Katrina: All right. We'll be back with an outfit change. Katrina: All right. Matt: Good to go? Katrina: Yes. This is my favourite ever top in the world, 'cause you can see my tatties through it. Look you haven't even seen it yet. Matt: Oh, I haven't. It's sick. Katrina: In front of everybody else. It's like psycho. All right. Just a little intermission there. It's not done yet, though, you guys. Go around here next. I'm getting my boobs done in three weeks. Matt: Are you? Katrina: Yup. It's all happening. Matt: Where you getting that done? Katrina: South port. Dr. Ian McDougall. He's apparently amazing. Katrina: I'm gonna do such a post when I get my boobs done. You know how everybody gets their boobs done and then they pretend that they didn't and they just kind of, they don't say anything about it and they just hope that nobody, but probably particularly their parents won't notice. I'm gonna do the opposite of that. I'm gonna post about it, and I'm gonna blog about why I haven't done it earlier, which was largely just that it wasn't a hell yes for me. But there was also a part of me that was like I'm already so out there, I'm already too much. Kind of like who do you think you are type thing. Like I've already got, you know, I've got like a super successful business and I'm in shape and now I've got tatties all over me and my hair is extra shiny and now what? I'm gonna have boobs as well? It's all too much for the world to handle, so I thought about it, but I felt like it makes me seem like I think I'm all that. Katrina: And so then I noticed a lot of times men will post up about, "Ladies, you don't have to get your boobs done or whatever or change your body or any sort of work done." I haven't had any work done at all, actually, but if I wanted to, I will. And they think that they're putting a supportive post up, but I just find it interesting because women would never put a post up about what men have permission or don't have permission to do on their bodies, but it's kind of like women's bodies are up for grabs as far as conversation around whether you should or shouldn't do that. Like sometimes men will post like, "You should be happy to just be, we love you just as you are." [inaudible 00:30:53] a nice intention that maybe they're trying to be nice, but it sort of feels like it's reverse shaming. Do you know what I mean? Like that if you would do that, then you're not being authentic or real. I feel like I can get so much content out of this. And it should go viral. Right? Matt says yes. Okay, you guys heard it here first. That's happening May 29th. Everybody write it in your diaries. Katrina: We should film a show, not the actual fucking surgery, but there should be a show about that, for sure. Because it's a transformational moment in somebody's life. I feel, I don't know. I haven't done it yet, but I would imagine so. Katrina: Okay, and also I should probably be in the Gold Coast bulletin, 'cause I'm probably the last female in the Gold Coast to get her boobs done. Katrina: Have I changed angles now? Oh, no. You just changed angles. Okay. All right. So now we're talking about fitness and self-care. Matt: You good to go? Katrina: Yeah. Katrina: Hey, it's Kat here. Katrina Ruth from the Katrina Ruth show. Today I am here to give you a little bit of a smack down around fitness and self-care with love and compassion, of course. Katrina: Here's the deal. I have worked with entrepreneurs, high performers, driven creators and bad asses for several decades long and I do indeed classify myself as one of those people and what I've learned in that time is that fitness and self-care is non-negotiable for an entrepreneur or should be, in my opinion, non-negotiable for an entrepreneur. Katrina: And it is something that can drastically and massively improve the results that you're getting in your business, in your income, obviously in your energy, in your happiness, in your ability to access creativity and flow, and even in how much time you have available. Many, many other benefits also. Katrina: Here's the deal though. I don't wanna come in here kind of like, all right, I'm here to kick your ass about fitness and you've gotta get to the gym, and you've gotta be in shape and you've gotta do this and this and this. In fact, not too long ago, I heard that there was some people [inaudible 00:32:51] who were kind of like, I guess you can call it, hating on me, or feeling triggered by me is maybe a better way to say it, because they said, "Oh, you know, that Kat, she just thinks that everybody has to be hot. And she just talks about being hot and being fit all the time". Now , if you don't know me well, then you might not know that my background was in fitness. I was a personal trainer for 13 years and my first online business, which I began in 2006, and which I built up to nearly a million dollars per year income before I transitioned into the business that I've created now, that was a fitness business. Katrina: So it is something I'm very passionate about, that I have a really solid history in. I've been actively involved in the fitness industry now for over two decades, and it's part of my everyday life to this day. Katrina: But let me tell you about this everybody should be hot and fit thing. I may have said everybody should get to be hot. I may have said something like that. In fact, I wrote a blog post around this topic not too long ago when I heard that people were getting like a little bit upset [inaudible 00:33:40], but what I mean is, when I talk about everybody getting to be hot and fit and in great shape is that hot AF energy. Why did I just say AF? Hot as fuck energy. That hot as fuck energy that we should get to experience and be able to [inaudible 00:33:54] into our businesses and lives. Katrina: Hot is an energy, right? And it comes from when you're in a place of feeling really proud of yourself, really good about yourself, and when you know that you're in alignment with your values and with what's important to you and with how you're showing up in your business, in your life, in all different ways and areas. So that's kind of the hot thing, right? Katrina: But if we look at the fitness and self-care thing in a little bit of a broader spectrum way, not just about how you maybe look or how you feel. Let's really consider and look at how this relates to entrepreneurs. To me it's quite shocking and I find it, I guess concerning or I feel sad or worried when I hear that somebody who's really wanting to take over the world and just create an amazing empire during their purpose work in the world is not consistently attending to their fitness and self-care. Katrina: Now, I fully understand and have compassion and empathy around the fact that not everybody has that background or history. I am so grateful that I built this habit before I was even 20 years old and it stood me so well until this day and it's definitely crossed over into many other areas of my life. Katrina: So if you don't have that background or that habit, of course it's gonna feel like something that you don't necessarily have time for, or it feels like it should come second to your business or maybe second to business and being a partner or being a parent or whatever it might be. It feels like something that you know is important maybe or that you do in some sort of a somewhat consistent fashion, but that it kind of gets left off on the days when you're busy or on the days when you've got a lot of balls in the air with your business or in the times when you don't really feel like it. Katrina: So I fully get all of that and I'm the same as anyone else, I have habits that I'm still working to implement. Fitness, however, is a habit that's really well implemented for me in my business and life and I really, literally, legitimately consider it to be non-negotiable. It's something that along with journaling, along with daily messaging in my business and sharing what's inside of me, along with sales activity, these four things, fitness being one of them, I consider non-negotiable and I make sure that they happen everyday. Katrina: The reason is, that I know that when those four things come together on a day-to-day basis, I'm moving the needle in all critical areas in my business and life. I'm progressing forward. I'm creating momentum. I'm creating results. And these things all work together to just create faster and faster momentum, flow, results, outcomes, access to the super powers that are inside of me, you name it, right? Katrina: So I feel like when I'm taking care of these four areas, and this is what I teach my high-level clients in my inner circle for example, as well, that I've taken care of the big blocks that are really gonna move me forward. Katrina: Of course there might be a million other things that I wanna get done for the day, which may or may not be given some time and attention through the day, but you know what? Even if all those extra things are ignored, if I take care of my own inner work, my mindset work like my journaling, my fitness and self-care in some way, shape or form, whether it's at the gym, or whether it's elsewhere, my messaging and sharing with the world and my sales activity, that's gonna get me going forward even if everything else got ignored completely, right? Katrina: So where fitness really comes in is it's not something that takes time and energy, it's something that gives you time and energy. In fact, just the other day I was having a conversation with one of my closest friends and she was saying how she's just been eating so much more while in a fitness routine, and she was kinda like, "Isn't that weird?" And I was like, "Not really, because of course you're gonna overeat when you're not working out, because working out gives you energy". So if you're not getting that energy from going and moving your body and moving your digestive system and kind of moving your mind, as well, and clearing out the cobwebs, then you're gonna naturally go reaching for and looking for energy elsewhere. Katrina: And particularly for an entrepreneur and somebody who's building a business from home and maybe you've got kids running around or you just got a hectic life going on and you're kind of on the go, or perhaps you travel a lot, like me. It's really easy to obviously just reach for kind of convenient foods that are not necessarily ideal or even maybe you're trying to be a little bit healthier but it's a load of protein shakes and protein bars and that sort of thing, which is not necessarily real food. Katrina: Look, I'm not here to school you on this what you should eat. I actually don't follow a diet at all. I eat intuitively. I work out intuitively. But what I am here to say and to suggest to you, is that if you were to start making a small amount of space and time for your fitness and self-care everyday, even like 20 to 25 minutes where you gave some sort of time and attention to taking care of your body, to moving it, to expanding it, to freeing it up, to going into some kind of a physical, or mental or spiritual meditation, which can come about from that, that you're gonna find that you have time abundantly given back to you, energy given into you, you clear out any sort of kind of messiness that's going on emotionally, or you had that's distracting you form being in flow in your work. You sort out problems. I like to set intentions at the start of my work out time. Katrina: There's so many benefits that go far and beyond the obvious kind of like, if you want a gym body type thing. If you want that, cool. But really what we're talking about here is getting your body working inside and out in the way that it was meant to. So I really urge you to consider what building blocks you have in place in your business and life at the moment. Katrina: Are you taking care of the fundamental things that are actually gonna elevate you into being that next-level version of yourself who automatically has the energy, the confidence, the creativity and the access to super flow required in order to show up for all the different areas of your life. I don't think I gotta remind you when you're taking care of yourself inside and out, it's not about how you look, it's about how you feel, which dictates how you look and certainly also dictates how you're showing up and what you're putting out there for the world. So I know you have massive dreams and so much you wanna accomplish here and it's all available for you. Everything you feel inside of you is always available. Katrina: We've gotta look at, if I'm gonna be that person, if I'm gonna be that next-level version of myself, and also accomplish all these fricken things in my business and life, I gotta take care of myself like a well-oiled machine, right? I've gotta treat myself as a premium machine. I've gotta treat myself as a temple, basically, that's gonna last for life and that is gonna be operating at a standard of excellence such that I can do all these amazing things that I wanna do into the world. Make millions of dollars. Impact millions of people and change the whole fricken thing. Katrina: That's it for me for today. Leave me a comment below. Tell me about your fitness routine. I'd be happy to answer any questions. And don't forget. Have an amazing rest of the day wherever you are in the world. Life is now press play. Katrina: All right. [inaudible 00:40:08] is watching. That's our second video completed. Cool. How long did that one go for? Matt: Almost eight minutes. Katrina: Eight minutes? We might have to chop some bits of it out. Actually, what do you think? Eight minutes? Too long? My brother's on the live stream. Okay, what are you guys talking about? We have shows here about that. About what? About the boobs or the fitness? Okay. I'm gonna go straight into the next one. Katrina: If you jumped on late to this live stream, we're filming some videos here for my new marketing campaign, teaching people the fundamental stuff that I believe is really important and that can change your business and life, so you're getting all my best secrets right now. We're gonna make these into some bad ass Facebook ads and we're gonna open up the inner circle. There's so many new bad asses. Ash says can work with eight minutes. I'm sure we could chop bits of that out anyway. Matt: Did you wanna change tops? Katrina: Yes. I forgot again. All right. We're gonna go into the messaging video next so if you wanna hear me talk about how to message and why it fricken matters, communication with your audience, stick around. Katrina: [inaudible 00:41:50] Katrina: I think you could wear it over the, check it out, I'm wearing my bodysuit on top of my pants. Looks like I'm about to record a 1980s video for fitness. I'm gonna do a fitness video now. But you won't see that on the video. On my own video. Matt: Where's the kids? Katrina: They are probably at [inaudible 00:42:17] digging through [inaudible 00:42:18] toys. She picks them up today. Matt: [inaudible 00:42:24] Katrina: Oh my God. Ashley, I don't know. Can you remind me, you just reminded me that when we're in L.A., are you gonna be in L.A. July 11 and 12th still? Matt: Probably. Katrina: Oh my god. Matt: I could. Katrina: If you are, you can film [inaudible 00:42:36]. Katrina: And we're all gonna go to Ashley's new house in L.A. and have a slumber party there. But I'm doing, you know I did the retreat here in November. I'm doing the L.A. one in July at the Paley House in West Hollywood, which by the way, I haven't told any of my clients yet and I just randomly announced, so just so you know. Katrina: Can you get me some let warmers and then we can do a fitness video? Katrina: All right. Yes, Ashley or John O., remind me we're gonna film a hip hop music video with my clients and we're definitely gonna film like body suit and leggings fitness video together and Matt's gonna film it. He just found out about that right there. Katrina: Everyone's gonna go to Ashley's place and we're gonna have martinis. 'Cause she's moving to L.A., my friend actually. I don't know if you'd remember, but you would know her if you saw her. She's from Sydney. So she's moving to L.A., so we're all just gonna go sleep there. Katrina: All right. Now I've lost my train of thought 'cause I got very excited about we're gonna do the hip hop video and the fitness video. It's actually critical. If you're joining the inner circle, just to let you know, you're gonna be involved in shenanigans. It's actually a requirement. It's part of the initiation, except the initiation just keeps going forever after you joined. Katrina: We leave tomorrow. Shit. Shout out. Following your dreams. Moving to fricken L.A. Bad ass. Katrina: Okay, now we gotta focus. Freaking focus. People stop distracting me. So now we talk about messaging. Katrina talking about sharing her message. Why? What? When? Where? How? Possible questions could be how to create and distribute your message anywhere. Spend 6% of your day on this? I spend my whole day messaging. My whole life is message. My whole life is monetizable. I'm just like, if you come into my life, just know that you're gonna be turned into content. I'm just letting you know. Literally. Katrina: All right. I'm ready. Maybe give me like some kind of sign when I get to five minutes, though. I feel like I'm just gonna get longer and longer with each one, 'cause I'm getting more excited. Matt: [inaudible 00:44:45] Katrina: Yeah. Cool. Katrina: All right. Katrina: Hey, it's Kat here from the Katrina Ruth show. Today we are gonna talk about one of my very favourite things to talk about of all, which is messaging and specifically, unleashing your message, your ad, what's inside of you onto the world. And the reason that you would wanna do that is, because you wanna do it. Actually, if you're watching this and you resonate with me and the things that you've maybe been seeing and you feel coming through from my bad ass little videos that I'm making for you, then I'm gonna guess that you are naturally one of those people like myself, like my incredible inner circle private clients, who wants to be seen and wants to be heard. Katrina: Let's just be honest. When you're having a party or you're having a dinner, or you're at someone's thing, you are the one who wants to be the centre of attention and you get kinda loud and kinda shouty and kind of excited, and you tell amazing stories and really, everybody should just shut up and listen to you, right? Right. Katrina: I know this for sure, because it's how I am. It's how my eight year old daughter is. It's how every single one of my inner circle clients are. In fact, it's hilarious when we all get together, because you've basically got a whole room full of people that all think that they're the one person who should be talking and I've even had clients tell me that they get kind of shitty at me when I'm presenting my own retreat or event, 'cause they're kind of like, "When will she shut up so that I can talk?" Katrina: So if that's you and you know that you have powerful stuff inside of you to share with the world, you know that people should actually be paying just to listen to you and to be around you, then I've got fabulous news for you and you may already know this, but I'm just gonna kick your ass with it a little bit more. You can get paid to do this stuff. You can get paid to share your message. Like literally just what you're thinking and feeling with the world on a day in day out basis. Katrina: It is actually exactly how I built my online business to where it now makes multi six figures per month, so it's a multiple seven-figure online business, continually growing. All I actually do is live my life and be me. Okay, I feel like I'm gonna hiccup. It's under control. Katrina: And document that. And show what's inside of me. And so I write a daily blog. It's called the Daily Ass Kicker. I love to write. I'm a writer first and foremost, so there's no rule that you've got to write a daily blog post or anything like that, but that's what I like to do. Katrina: I like to create videos, as well. I do a lot of Facebook live streams. In fact, right over here I've got a Facebook live stream happening at the same time as filming this video for you. Katrina: So I'm continually sharing my message. So messaging is simply the process of sharing your message with the world. And by me doing that and doing it consistently for some time now, for a period of years in fact, on the internet, I've been able to attract in my soulmate clients from all around the world. Women and men who think like me, who know that they're born for more. Who know that they're that 1% within the 1% person, who always also have something to share with the world. Katrina: I've been able to build a location-free lifestyle where I'm never bound to any time or place. I can go where I want when I want with my children. I made amazing friends with people all around the world. I've been able to get this amazing apartment that I love and I guess all the other dream things that I've got in my life. Katrina: But mostly, I've been able to step fully into my purpose work and into a life where everyday I get to wake up and all I gotta do is open my mouth and open my soul and be myself. Katrina: And that's the crux of my whole entire business. I would certainly love to share with you a little bit about how that works, because here's the deal on messaging. There's a lot of people on the internet who are posting stuff online, right? I don't gotta tell you. So posting blog posts, Facebook live streams, YouTube stuff, Instagram stuff, you name it, it's out there. Katrina: However, what is very rare, and the reason why powerful entrepreneurs [inaudible 00:48:26], perhaps even including you, and not getting paid the way that they should be getting paid, is that they're sharing the surface space. Katrina: They're sharing something where it's like okay I told a story. Or I wrote an inspiring blog post or a motivational blog post or I totally [inaudible 00:48:42], or yeah, I did a Facebook live or I did a video or whatever it is. It's got to have the soul in it. Katrina: For me messaging is firstly so easy, it's not something that I find difficult or that I've gotta think about like to think about how to write a blog, how to do a live stream. Yes, I get nervous. In fact, I was freaking out before I filming these videos, 'cause I just felt self-conscious about doing professional videos, which I'm doing today for you. Katrina: All right? So it's not about not having all that. But I don't have to think about what to say. I don't think about what to say ever any day of the week at all, and I create a lot of content. And the reason is that I don't think about it, is that I give myself permission to just say what's inside of me, right? Katrina: So messaging kind of all the time. I write a lot of content and I produce a lot of content, but yet I feel like I'm not really doing anything. I feel like I'm just expressing what's inside of me and that's what I love to do as a person, anyhow. Just the same way as my eight year old daughter and my four year old son want people to shut up and listen to them. And they're not like this is work. I've gotta get paid in order to express myself and make people stop what they're doing and listen to me. That's what they want. Just like that's what I want and that's what I know you want. Katrina: But for this to work, it's not only understanding that it is about just sharing what's truly inside of you and not making it complicated. Not trying to plan it out, not trying to think it out. It's also about understanding that for messaging to work and for you to build a business, based on you as a messenger, as an artist, creator, leader, then you've gotta be giving people the whole truth. The truth, nothing but the truth, and also the whole truth. Katrina: So yes, that means the stuff that feels really vulnerable or scary to share. Or maybe you think like a lot of my clients think and I have this conversation frequently with my high-level clients. Oh, that's like embarrassing, or I feel self-conscious or is that good enough or who am I to speak about this or I already said that a million times. I feel like everything I'm saying is being repetitive. Katrina: These are all exactly the sort of things I fully understand because I've had all those thoughts myself and I work on it continually with my clients and what it's about is plain and simple. Katrina: What if you got out of your own way? What if you dropped your story and dropped all the bullshit about whether or not what you have is good enough or whether you're good enough and what if you just gave what's inside of you permission to live and permission to be expressed and permission to get out there into the world. Katrina: So when I feel stuck or unsure or when my clients feel stuck or unsure, I remind myself or I remind them, it's not about you. It's about the message. Take a deep breath. Do what you gotta do. Put some music on. Put some [inaudible 00:51:06] on. Have a coffee. Whatever. And then let what's inside of you out. Imagine the power of what could happen in your business and life if you just consistently, every day, starting today, began to share what's inside of you in an unfiltered and no holds barred way. Katrina: I challenge you to do this. Drop me a comment below. Tell me when you went and posted a new message. Leave a link, even. I'd love to see it. Have an amazing rest of the day and do not forget. Life is now press play. Katrina: Okay. Hey, Laura. Get out your own way and save lives. Exactly. Katrina: All right. Shot out to everyone that's just jumping on. We are over here filming behind the scenes here. Filming for my new funnel. There's Matt. He's doing my video work. He's gonna match up some amazing Facebook ads from what we're doing today. I'm just live streaming so you can see behind the scenes. We've got one more to do, I believe. And that is around sales activity. So if you'd like to hear me talking about how bad ass, how bad ass? I don't know. That doesn't really relate to what I was gonna say. Katrina: If you'd like me to talk about sales activity. I'm gonna do it whether you'd like it or not. But if you'd like to listen, then you can listen on for this next final video. Katrina: Hang on, wait. Ashley, if you're still in the live stream. I sent you a what's app that I need you to enter. Okay, I have a client here. A bad ass client, who's like do I wanna meet you in New York or L.A.? I think both. Oh, do I wanna do fourth of July in New York or L.A.? What say you, Facebook? Where should I do New York, or where should I go? Matt: L.A. Katrina: Matt says L.A. You recon? Why? Matt: It's fun. Katrina: [inaudible 00:52:44] fun here. Matt: I'd rather be in New York on the fourth of July, so L.A. was fun. Katrina: Okay. L.A. it is. You've heard it here. Katrina: All right. Oh, hang on. I've gotta change again. Forgetting every time. All right. One more outfit. One more video. And then I think there was one other little video, but we'll do that off camera. Katrina: Okay, I'll be back and we'll do the sales video. Hey, hey to everybody who just jumped on. Katrina: All right. I'm making a rare appearance in a t-shirt. I basically never wear sleeves. Look at this cool shirt. [Collette 00:53:32] bought it for me. By the way, you don't have to wait for the, my hand looks massive. You don't have to wait for the Facebook ads to drop in your feed if you know that you're already supposed to be in the inner circle and by the way, you could still get into the room for our July retreat. Oh my goodness. Next-level [inaudible 00:53:55] and money making is what goes down on those retreats. It's always next-level inappropriate shenanigans. You should message me about that now if you know that that's the level you wanna play at. I can tell you all about it. Katrina: Okay, so now. What? More videos? I thought it was only one. All right. Okay. We're gonna do sales activity. So now I'm gonna talk to you for a few minutes about sales activity. Katrina talking about selling naturally. Electrolytes. Going out shirt. How good is this? Just so people know, I'm not going anywhere. Sitting right here on my throne. I guess we'll go out later then. And so some footage of me drinking espresso, 'cause we haven't done that enough times. Matt: And it's Friday. Katrina: And it's Friday. So clearly, it's required. Katrina: Sales is not a dirty word. Do you know what? I don't even wanna fucking market to anybody that thinks sales could be a dirty word. They can all go mosey on along to another town. How selling is a daily non-negotiable in my business. So I'll talk about that. All right. I think we can do it. Katrina: Actually, I'm gonna put some more pink lipstick on for this video. Katrina: [crosstalk 00:55:43] Katrina: Do you think that there's a single man in the world that thinks having those plumped lips where it sticks out on the side is a good idea? I think John's the only man on this live stream. But Matt said no, so John, add your vote. Katrina: We were just talking about it while I was in there fixing up my lipstick. All right. Ready? Do the five-minute thing again. Matt: Okay. Katrina: Hey, it's Kat here from the Katrina Ruth show and I am so fricken [inaudible 00:56:19] excited today, 'cause I'm gonna talk about one of my four daily non-negotiables, which is sales activity. If you've been watching my videos pop through your feed, then you'll know that my four daily non-negotiables are in fact, daily mindset work in journaling of some kind. Getting connected to that inner game. Setting your internal compass so that you go in the right direction. Fitness and self-care, of course. Non-negotiable for entrepreneurs and driven bad asses like you and I. Katrina: Some form of messaging, because you are in fact a messenger, a leader, an artist, a creator, and you wanna share what's inside of you with the world and then fourth and finally, selling. Because guess what? If you wanna be an entrepreneur, if you are an entrepreneur, [inaudible 00:56:58] of course, but if you want to have a successful business, you are going to need to sell. You're gonna need to make money in some way. You need to ask for money. Katrina: Whether you're asking energetically or like on the actual internet, by telling people on Facebook to buy stuff from you. I did not really make any money in the first three years of my online business, actually, I must admit. So I started marketing in 2006, except I wasn't marketing at all, I was blogging. Katrina: And for the first few years, I made no money at all and it took me maybe two and a half years before I realised that the key reason that I wasn't making any money was that I wasn't actually selling anything. So I just kinda laugh about it, but the truth is, I didn't set out to be a marketer, I set out to write or be a blogger and then gradually, back then, twelve years ago, I gradually kind of started to learn that this internet thing was somewhere that you could make money. Katrina: I've actually always been really good at sales, and so, you know, from a young age, I've been selling things and I've always had a hustler side. Hustle. Even as a little kid. When it comes to online marketing, I've been marketing online for over 12 years now. I've made millions and millions of dollars on the internet. I've gradually evolved and fine tuned my business to where it's completely based on me getting to wake up each day, do what I love, make money for my purpose work and live my life on my terms so somebody I met recently said to me when they kind of connected on Facebook and how to look at my life and my business like, "Wow. You're really living the dream, hey?" And I said yeah, I am. And I did the work for it. And so I'm really proud of myself, with what I've created and I'm very passionate about sharing how to create a business and a life that's location free and freedom-based and purpose-based for women and men who are like me. Katrina: And when I say like me, I mean you've always known that you were born for it, that you were born for more. You've always known you're here to make millions. Impact millions and even change the world. And you've always known that there's something powerful inside of you to get out there to the world. And so if that's you, well, probably if you're watching this, then you're already showing up online in some way, shape or form. Katrina: You might be early on in your journey or you might be well down the track and you're already making a lot of money. Sometimes I have clients come to me who jump into my inner circle working with me privately, who are already making 10, 20K, 30K, 50K a month. Other times, they're completely starting out and there's no money coming in yet. But what joins my clients together and the reason that my clients get such rapid results, big money leaps and bounds, big alignment leaps and bounds, big lifestyle shift leaps and bounds, as well as all other areas, is because they are that person who has that inner flame and who's always known that they're gonna do something amazing with their life. Katrina: So if that's you and you relate and maybe you are already selling on the internet or selling off the internet, or wherever it is that you're selling, I just wanna remind you, though, that if you just make something like daily selling and sales activity part of kind of who you are, if you make it inherent to who you are, and you make it habitual, then you can elevate your income 10 times, 20 times, I believe even 100 times more in a very, very rapid period of time. Katrina: Now this is obviously not just about how much freaking money can we make on the internet? That's amazing and it's super cool. And it allows us to have an incredible impact into the world doing our purpose work. I don't think I need

In episode 4 I talk with Marty Ramseck about using the Predictive Index Assessment to make better hiring decisions and enhance communication among sales teams. Marty has cultivated 30 years of experience in hands-on sales management and double-digit growth in every one of his ventures. He has worked for companies such as Vintage Senior Living, LivHOME, Sunrise Senior Living, CORT, and Cigna. In order to deliver record-breaking sales in highly competitive fields, Marty had to have an advantage over others in the industry. He found that advantage through an exceptionally strong match in recruiting, training and individual coaching using the Predictive Index. Marty’s primary focus is on partnering with Senior Leaders to build effective teams and design innovative solutions to organizational issues. In 2016 Marty joined PI Midlantic as a Senior Consultant with a focus on California to help companies and sales professionals to reach exceptional results. Marty earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology from the University of Dayton. He lives in Southern California with his wife Nancy of 34 years. Marty's contact information is: 949-545-8121 mramseck@pimidlantic.com www.pimidlantic.com When you reach out to Marty, be sure and mention the podcast for a complimentary Predictive Index Assessment, a $200 value. Please visit our website www.thebusinessofbusinesspodcat.com, www.seniorlivingsalesandmarketing.com, and to find out more about Roy Barkers consulting and advisory services visit www.roybarker.com or email roy@roybarker.com See full transcript below.  Roy Barker:                        Good morning, everyone. Welcome to episode four of the Senior Living Sales & Marketing Podcast. Just as a reminder, you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, or Google Play. Please download and rate the podcast to make it easier for others to find. You can also sign up for our newsletter at www.seniorlivingsalesandmarketing.com. Also, check out our sister podcast at the [00:00:30] businessofbusinesspodcast.com.  Today, I want to welcome Marty Ramseck with PI Midlantic to the show. We did another show for the Business of Business Podcast, talking about the predictive index and how it relates to turn-over in general. As me and Marty talked further, I felt like it would be good to do an episode that was focused strictly [00:01:00] on the Senior Living Sales & Marketing teams. Marty has a very extensive background in senior living and in sales. I think that the sales process ... That's one reason why I started this podcast is that, the sales and marketing process has become a much more important function in the senior living industry. Now more than ever, with the [00:01:30] economic environment with the affordability issues, with the competition that's coming online. Both other senior living providers and at-home care. It's more important now that when we do capture lead, that we're able to do everything that we can do to possibly close that. I'm not talking about being a used care salesman. My philosophy is always building relationships. But, [00:02:00] I think we have to hire the right people that aren't used car salesmen. That know how to build relationships with prospects in order to increase our occupancy. Having said all that, Marty, welcome back. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to talk to me again. Marty Ramseck:               Thanks Roy, great to be here. Roy Barker:                        If you don't mind, why don't you just tell the audience just a little bit about your senior living history and just a little bit about the predictive [00:02:30] index. As well as, PI Midlantic. Marty Ramseck:               My senior living history goes back to 2002, where I was the VP of Sales for Center of Senior Living. Which was at that time nationwide, but now it's an international company. Many Senior Livings not only in America but throughout in Europe and Canada. Then I spent about ten years [00:03:00] with a company called LivHOME where we did in-home care, versus assisted living care. But we did in-home care, custodial care for seniors. Then two years at Vintage Senior Living. Again, a high-end senior living on the west coast, California and Washington. So over that period of time, I have about 15 years in the senior living industry. Experiencing both in-home and assisted living care.  A little bit [00:03:30] about predictive index. Predictive index is a behavioral assessment that looks at a person's behavioral strengths. In terms of, what do they bring behaviorally to a company. In terms of, the behaviors that you'll see in that person. Then from that, you can understand what motivates them, the motivating needs, better ways to communicate with them, better ways to coach and train them. Once you understand what their behavioral needs are [00:04:00] and wants are that way. PI Midlantic is a consulting company based out of Annapolis. We're in Maryland, and Delaware, and Pennsylvania. Along with, Northern and Southern California. My job is to work with companies and consult with companies. Help them with predictive index and help them get better results using this behavioral assessment tool. To hire better, coach, train, and engage their employees in a more productive way to at the end of the day get better results. Roy Barker:                        [00:04:30] Well, I think that not only your background but your product, it's a very good combination for the senior living sales and marketing teams today. So let's talk a little bit about taking the predictive index. Can you kind of explain what that process is. If I ... excuse me. If I called you today and said, "You know what? I'm fixing to hire Joe or Sally. [00:05:00] I really would like to do the predictive index on them." What does that process look like? Marty Ramseck:               Yeah, it's a very simple process. It's a process of ... we send them out of ... everything's done online. We would basically email them a link to complete the predictive index. Generally speaking, it's a real short assessment. That's one of the values of predictive index. It doesn't take the person who takes it a lot of time to do it, it takes about six minutes to complete. From that, we'll understand [00:05:30] their behavioral needs. Predictive index measures four behavioral needs of a person. It measures their dominance, which is their drive to control or insert influence one's environment. It also measures their extroversion, which is drive to people and interacting with people. It measure patience, which is the drive for stability and familiarity with one's environment. It measures formality, which is the drive for detail and to do things perfectly. In [00:06:00] each one of those drives, they have a high dominance, which is more a drive for taking challenges. Or a low dominance, which is more seeking harmony. In high extroversion, which is seeking people. Low extroversion, which is more task-focused. High patience, which is more process-oriented. Low patience, they're more variety in terms of [inaudible 00:06:24] their tasks throughout the day. Then formality, you can determine how much detail they're into. How much [00:06:30] rules and processes they're looking at versus how much they're looking at more general guidelines. In terms of, how they like to be worked with. Roy Barker:                        Yeah, and I think there's a fine line between being an overly aggressive salesperson versus being someone that knows how to pursue prospects and do thoughtful follow-up. Will the predictive index [00:07:00] kind of help separate those two individuals? Marty Ramseck:               Yeah, that's a great point. I think what we've seen ... What you see with predictive index is that in the Senior Living business, you're gonna find people that do well. Or high with extroversion, which means they connect very, very well with people. They're low in patience, which means they're very results oriented. Their detailed, some detail, but not [00:07:30] over the top where you don't want really getting behind and falling love with the CRM system and doing that all day. But the key you want to see in Senior Living that's probably changed most over the last 15 years is the dominance. Dominance is the drive for results, it's the drive for challenging, it's a drive to get people to take the next steps. When I first started Senior Living back in 2002, you didn't need a lot of dominance in your Sales people because there was not as much competition, [00:08:00] there wasn't as much option. So you're looking for more of a ... really to serve the natural role of [inaudible 00:08:08]. A person that worked well with people, didn't push them too hard because there was not a lot of competition out there. Today you see that dominance driver, needing more dominance, because there is more competition. You need to drive them a little bit more for the next steps. It's also the drive to control. Today you need somebody that really controls the Sales process. In terms [00:08:30] of, getting people to take the next steps and keeping themselves in control of what's happening next in the Sales process. That is a key behavior that you want to see in your Salespeople. But, at the same time, they can't be over the top. In terms of, too controlling or too driven because you're gonna push people away. But you have to kind of manage that a little bit where you do have somebody that can drive somebody to the next steps. Control the next steps to keep them looking at your Assisted Living or your Home Care. Based upon [00:09:00] keeping them in your Sales process. Roy Barker:                        Okay, that's great. I do a lot of mystery shopping. I guess, I see both extremes as the ... There's the process that nobody is in control over that it seems like you are always having to run them down. Versus, the ones that they are just basically in your [00:09:30] face wanting you to sign up. It's not that they really care about you, which kind of leads into the next part. I feel that you've gotta have the drive, you gotta have the organization, you have to know how to prospect. You have to understand, not everybody is gonna be ready to make that decision today. Not everybody is gonna like you, your company, your community. You're gonna lose some people because of that. You have to be able to accept [00:10:00] the no's. But I think another important quality is empathy. That is that we need empathy for the family, for the prospective resident. In the fact that, their stuff is not in their car. They're not gonna walk in, and you're gonna sign them up, and you're gonna move them in today. It's a process we have to, like a farmer, you have to sew the seed, you have to maintain [00:10:30] it, and then you reap your harvest. Sometimes, I think especially in our world of instant gratification ... I say, "Marty, are you ready? Are you ready? Here's a paper, let's sign up. If you don't, you're off my radar and I'm moving on." There are a lot of studies out there that show that it can take between eight to twelve touches during the Sales process in order to make a client. A higher dollar [00:11:00] sales, tend to be at the higher end of that. So, will the Predictive Index kind of help us sort out this empathy factor? Somebody that's gonna be able to sit down and have a true conversation with Marty and his family. To find out what brought you in here today, are you a good fit? I'm not scared to tell you that what we may not be the best fit for you, but I know some people [00:11:30] that I can help place you. Will the Predictive Index help us in that respect, as well? Marty Ramseck:               Yeah, it would help. Predictive Index does measure behaviorally how empathetic, behaviorally, a person is and their certain drives. That's kind of the extraversion drive. It's gonna be a lot more empathetic, a lot more caring. So Predictive Index really does a good job of understanding how empathetic is. I think [inaudible 00:12:00] a [00:12:00] person really understanding the Sales process, also, and knowing a couple things. Number one, that your community or your Home Care company, they're not for everyone, everyone is an opportunity. You have to understand who the right people are for you from that standpoint. Two, is coaching Salespeople to really work in the best interest of the customer. Are they really doing the right thing? Because that's really what they're judging that Salesperson on, is are you working in the best interest of the customer. [00:12:30] Three, and as you brought up the point of the steps in the Sales process, of really understanding good ... What we call, buyer / seller alignment. Being with the seller, where they are at in the process. So, people [inaudible 00:12:43] and they're looking to move in asap, they have to do that and working with that person. At the same time people are just generally beginning to look and beginning the process. But, I think where most Salespeople get themselves in trouble is, they're not aligned with the buyer. They're trying to close too soon or not enough of [00:13:00] that process. That really upsets the buyer. But to be aligned, and take them through the steps, and kind of controlling those steps, but take them to the appropriate next steps in the Sales process. Knowing that this is going to take several steps to get them moved in or get them to become a client of your Home Care company, but be aligned with them in that process. They'll generally get those people because you're aligned and it makes the Sales process go very smoothly for you and for the prospective [00:13:30] buyer. But to your original question. Yeah, Predictive Index does measure empathy, it does measure how a person will interact with somebody. But also, I think, it's [inaudible 00:13:41] a Salesperson understanding good selling and understanding the Sales process. That it's gonna take steps and be aligned with them where they are at in that Sales process. Roy Barker:                        Right. You bring up a good point about trying to meet the prospect where they're at. We see that a lot as well, that when you walk in, [00:14:00] they want to start at the beginning of time. Tell you what ... This is an apartment, you're gonna get to live here, we're gonna feed you. What they don't understand a lot is that these ... Most, not everyone, but I would say that most prospects and their families have already checked out your community and your competition long before they come in. That's why it's good to ask some general questions about [00:14:30] where they are in the search process, what has instigated this, why are you even out looking to try to find ... You know, where they are and how much research that they've done. I think another big part of this process is ... Why I feel it's so important on this empathy is talking with families and prospects, is to gain information. Not only to see where they are in the process, if they're a good fit, [00:15:00] but you can also get good follow up information.  I'll be honest, a pet peeve of mine is when I'm trying to buy something. Taking my time and looking at different people, different companies, and you get the inevitable email. Like, "Hey, I'm just circling back with you." Or, "Are you ready to buy yet?" That's one thing that when I get to coach Sales [00:15:30] Professionals, it's very important to have these front end conversations. Because you find out what are some of the interests, what's going on in the lives of the prospects of family members. Because, when you reach out to them in follow up, if you're communicating even with the family member ... If they are into gardening, maybe you start off with, "All this rain we've been having has probably been good for your garden." Or [00:16:00] if you know that the prospect has been maybe in and out of the hospital, you can ask about their condition, how they're doing, are they back home ... It just gives you a lot more ammunition to have, what I would call, thoughtful follow up and try to build the true relationship. Marty Ramseck:               Yeah, I think another important point is, really understanding what their needs are and what they're going through. It could be a person who just lost [00:16:30] a partner after 60 years of marriage and there's a pretty lot of depression there. What do we do to get that person back to living a quality of life again. All those things play a huge role. So understanding needs in this Sale is hugely important. That's why I think questioning skills, those empathy skills are huge. Because, I need to know what their needs are, I need to know what their running into so I can adapt my [00:17:00] presentation to their needs and what's important to them. Not just do a generic type of presentation of my community or my Home Care company. But really adapting to their needs and what's important to them. Roy Barker:                        Right. A thought that just occurred to me was, we think of performing a Predictive Index on maybe the Sales and the Marketing Manager of a community so we understand [00:17:30] more about them. But does this work the other way, too? Is this good to maybe have the Regional Managers, or the National Sales Managers, or upstream? Have them to complete the PI, as well. So not only do they know how to communicate with their subordinates, but the subordinates may learn about how to communicate and what their [00:18:00] managers are needing, as well. Marty Ramseck:               Yeah, that's a great point to rise. Anybody in the organization has an opportunity to complete the Predictive Index is ... all it does is help them understand that person better, how to motivate with them, and how to communicate. So, Predictive Index, it's a great tool if I'm the manager. I can understand, number one, am I making the right hire based upon their PI. But once their onboard, am I managing them, or am I coaching them, or [00:18:30] am I communicating with them effectively. But at the same time, being transparent. If I'm the manager and my people know my PI, they know how to best communicate with me, how to best interact with me. It's also great for peers. How to best work with somebody, how to best communicate with them. Some people are more voice communication, some people more texting, so how do we best communicate with each other. It really takes out why somebody [00:19:00] acts the way they do. Have you ever been in a work relationship where you're frustrated and you say, why does this person act the way they do. Well, PI lets you know that, PI lets you know why people act the way they do.  Knowing that behavior is hardwired in you. Kind of like your eye color, it's kind of given to you. Like, how tall you are, it's kind of ... Those things you really can't change. Behaviorally, we really can't change our behavior. We can adapt, we can kind of ... When we [00:19:30] understand ourselves, we can adapt our behavior, but we really can't change it. Knowing that, how do we best work together and bring out each others strengths to create a better team. Not try to change somebody or just be frustrated with somebody on how they act the way they do. Roy Barker:                        Yeah. I think it's good to emphasize that while we've talked a lot about the hiring process and using the Predictive Index during that. It's also important for existing teams because [00:20:00] I think it would not only help the communication, but it might also help in you to sharpen that communication in both directions. Marty Ramseck:               Exactly right, exactly right. Again, playing to each others strengths. Lebron James is a great basketball player, but he's probably not a great Scientist. Or Einstein is a great Scientist, but probably was not a great basketball player. It doesn't make them bad, it just understands [00:20:30] what strengths you bring to the party and let's just play on those strengths to create the best team possible. Roy Barker:                        That's correct, correct. That's all we're trying to do. Not to get anybody ... put anybody in a bad light or in a bad way. But this is just a tool that can benefit not only management, but also the sales teams. As we talk this through further, I would assume that [00:21:00] it would probably be good to get the whole community onboard. At least the Administration, with like the Executive Director, the Director of Nursing, also the Sales Team because they all have to interact with each other daily. So this would help them communicate at the community level very well with each other. Then, there's just so many moving parts [00:21:30] with people moving in, people moving out. Just all the fires that come up during the day of a ... The day in the life of a Senior Living community. Marty Ramseck:               What it really is, Roy, it's a best sent ... Think about what is your most ... In Senior Living, what is your most important thing that you have? That's your people, right. If you have great people, you're gonna be successful. If you have [00:22:00] great care givers, you're gonna be successful. If you have great nurses, you're gonna be successful. You gotta have a great Sales team to be successful and a great Executive Director. Predictive Index helps you predict that, so it's really an investment in your most important that you have, your people. Making sure that you're making your people decisions correctly. Building a better job with making sure you get the right people on the bus. But secondarily, making sure that once they're on the bus that I'm engaging them, I'm motivating them, that they're [00:22:30] bringing their best. They do what they do best every day to create a different experience and great experience for people living in your community or the people who are working with Home Care from that standpoint. So, it's a tool to really make sure that you're getting the best people on the bus. That they're what your community needs are behaviorally. Then once they're on, I'm doing a great job in terms of engaging them and working with them. I think that Gallop did a survey a few years ago that seven out of ten American workers are not engaged, in terms of [00:23:00] what they're doing. They're not engaged in what they're doing on a daily basis. [inaudible 00:23:05] helps with better engagement. Helps you understand what that person's gonna bring behaviorally to your company. Then from there, how can I best engage with them to let them do what they do best every day. When you do that, you're gonna have more of an engaged employee and at the end of the day, you get better results. Roy Barker:                        Yeah. That statistic that you quoted, it's unbelievable that we have [00:23:30] employees walking around like zombies and companies that aren't engaged. That also relates to the ... about the same number are passively seeking other jobs. They may not be actively looking every day, but if someone approached them with another offer, they would be willing to listen. So here again, that relates back to the employee retention and how important it is to hang on to [00:24:00] our best players. So, we talked a little bit about how it would help teams communicate and managers communicate, both up and down the line. But let's say, I could put on my best suit, comb my hair, brush my teeth. Come in and sit down in front of the Hiring Manager and for 30 or 45 minutes, I can talk a good game. [00:24:30] I can really have a good attitude, "I love Seniors, I love Selling, I love getting on the phone making cold calls, or following up." I could say all the right things but I'm not that person. So can Predictive Index kind of help not only weed out those skills, but also the attitude. That's the one thing [00:25:00] that I talk a little bit about, as well. That when you hire, you really want to hire for attitude because you can teach a lot of skills. The other part of that is attitude is like a virus. You have to look at people and think, do I want other people catching this attitude. So, will the PI help on the attitude. Marty Ramseck:               It won't be as much [00:25:30] attitude as much as some of the other examples you used, Roy. In terms of empathy, in terms of follow up, that type of thing. Attitude a lot of times is more, we choose our attitude every day. We choose to get up and be positive today. Or we choose to get up and be negative today. Those are more choices. But the one thing where we go back to attitude is, if I'm doing what I do best every day, I'm gonna be more excited about my job. So, to your point about when a person comes in to interview. [00:26:00] If I have their Predictive Index in front of me, I understand behaviorally how they are hardwired, which allows me to ask behavioral based questions to see if they've actually done these behaviors that we're looking for in the past or can he do those. If it's follow up on, I'm asking questions of give me examples of when you had a follow up system, and your follow up system that you've used in previous opportunities that you had in career. Or if [00:26:30] we need strong closing skills, give me examples of how you close an indecisive client or prospect. So when we have a Predictive Index, I can behaviorally interview somebody to really see if I could pull off the behaviors that we're actually giving that person. Versus, a person telling me everything that they can do. [inaudible 00:26:53] Predictive Index will kind of make you see if the person can really walk the talk. Roy Barker:                        Okay. [00:27:00] Then, if you don't mind sharing just about how many of the PIs have been completed. I think from our talk the other day, that not only in general but probably for the Senior Living industry, y'all have a very good baseline for the different positions. So when somebody does, in the hiring process, somebody does take the PI, y'all [00:27:30] will know how they fit in with the high performers in those positions that have already taken the PI, correct? Marty Ramseck:               Yeah. We work with a lot of Assisted Living companies. A lot of Home Care companies are our clients, so we have kind of a baseline of the different positions of what PI they would be looking for, for different positions. But again, we want to treat every company individualistic. So what we do is kind of [00:28:00] a couple step process. Number one is, with PI we have what we call a job assessment, which is the people that are in the hiring of that particular position ... We usually recommend three to five people that have skin in the game for that hire. Fill out a job assessment, which is really going in and checking off the behaviors they think that they need for that role. From that, PI always gives a pattern, in terms of what we're looking for. So that would give us a pattern from what the hiring managers think that they're [00:28:30] looking for. Then, if they have top producers, we would go in and do a talent analytic on their top producers and find out what their top producers PI look like, in terms of the behaviors they're bringing. Then, we would compare that job assessment that people filled out with their top producers to look from consistencies. From there, agree on this is the behaviors that we're looking for a Sales person in that community, for a nurse in that community, for an Executive Director. We'd agree on it. Just like you'd [00:29:00] agree on educational requirements, just like you'd agree on skill requirements. Value requirements, in terms of ethics and honesty. Now you want to agree on what behaviors you're looking for each role for that particular company for each role that you have there. Based upon doing the job assessment, and looking at your top performers, and looking for consistencies to get a better target. In terms of who you want to hire for that role and get it right. Roy Barker:                        Okay. Well, Marty, [00:29:30] we've covered a lot of ground today. I certainly do appreciate you taking time out of your day to come back and talk more Senior Living and Sales focus. Is there anything else that you'd like the audience to know about the PI? Or how the Predictive Index can help them and their teams before we go? Marty Ramseck:               Yeah. The only thing I would say is, I think in Senior Living in my experience is, where people make a lot of mistakes is they just [00:30:00] hire other people's problems. There's a lot of turnover in the industry and people kind of bounce around from company to company. My experience has always been, I can teach ... especially, in Sales. I can teach somebody how to sell. Selling is a skill set, it takes some hard work to be really, really good at it, but I could teach somebody how to sell. My thought process is if I can get the behavior right. If I've got the right behavior, and the right attitude, and right ethics. [00:30:30] If I've got that, passion for Seniors, and I've got the right behavior, I was gonna be successful. I have a loyalty with that person, because I'm teaching them how to sell. So my recommendations to you is, not get in that game where you're just hiring other people's problems and people that are kind of bouncing around. But really get talent by hiring the right behaviors and teaching them how to sell, teach them how to do the job. Then I think you'll find a lot of success that way and have a lot of loyalty, [00:31:00] also, when it comes to that. Roy Barker:                        Yeah. I think that's a very good point. Sometimes, we rely on a box that's checked that, I worked for X, Y, Z Senior Living, so it looks like I have experience. But like you said, maybe I was just somebody else's trouble. Where the PI, the Predictive Index will help us get to the bottom of their skill set. Then, we can teach them the nuances of the Senior [00:31:30] Living industry that they need to know. Marty Ramseck:               Yeah. My thing, Roy, is if I'm a top producer, I've all this equity built with my company. So they're paying me fairly, I'm getting treated fairly, why would I ever want to leave? I have all the equity built in with this particular company. So generally, [inaudible 00:31:48] people leaving, they're generally leaving because they're not performing where they should be if they're ... The only time I look at a top performer is if they're not being paid fairly or treated fairly. That's the only time I look at them. But in [00:32:00] most cases, people are leaving because they're not cutting it with that company. That's why I would hire somebody ... Get the behaviors right, teach them how to sell. Then you'll not only have a great Salesperson, but they'll [inaudible 00:32:12] very loyal to you because you're the one that gave them the opportunity, you're the one that taught them how to sell. Roy Barker:                        Right, right. All good points. Well, Marty, if you could tell the audience how that they could get a hold of you to get more information on the Predictive Index. Marty Ramseck:               Yeah. If you wanted to ... [00:32:30] my email is mramseck@pimidlantic.com. Or my telephone number is 949-545-8121. You can reach out either way to me or connect with me on LinkedIn. If you do that, I'd be more than happy to have you complete a Predictive Index, if you haven't completed one.                                              It's $200.00 value, but for listening to the Podcast and connecting with me, I would that for no charge for [00:33:00] you and have you take it. It takes about six minutes, then in about 10 / 15 minutes, we'd be going over your results and seeing how it could help you and / or your organization. Roy Barker:                        Okay, great, Marty. Thanks for making that offer to the audience. I will also include your contact information in the show notes. Again, we want to thank Marty for being our guest today. Thanks, audience, for listening to the Senior Living Sales and Marketing Podcast. Don't forget to download [00:33:30] and rate our program. It will help others find us easier. Remember, you can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, and Google Play. The website is www.seniorlivingsalesandmarketing.com. You can sign up for a newsletter to stay up with the latest Podcast whenever we put them out. Thanks again for listening and until next time, wish you the most success in your business endeavors.    

Hey Goal Diggers, today we are diving into a topic that I have never talked about on Goal Digger before…. Balancing both your motherhood and entrepreneurial roles. It’s no secret that these two roles can get chaotic, but there IS a way to do both, and I couldn’t think of anyone better to talk with than Johnna Holmgren of Fox Meets Bear!

 Johnna seems to have the magic secret to balancing ALL THE THINGS. She is a mother, creative, and author of the cookbook titled, 'Tales from a Forager’s Kitchen’. 
She lives in the woods of Minnesota with her husband and her three girls where they spend as much time as they can outdoors hiking and foraging, cooking and baking, homeschooling and peaceful parenting. (And cleaning up way too many messes from their two dogs, two cats, and a small flock of ducks and chicks!) It’s safe to say this woman capitalized and evolved both of these roles and intertwined both her motherly side and business side into a really beautiful partnership., and I am so excited to talk to her about how to transition with your career when you have children. What an episode, what a topic, what a woman. Johnna reminds us that is okay to be fully human-- striving in our careers and also pausing (and melting!) around our children. If I've learned anything in this episode it's that each of our journeys look different, but we just have to tune in to our instincts and do our best, every day.

Hi. Ah man, god damn it. Alright. Thought I had what I needed, I don't. Alright, I'm back. I'm back. Am I live? Is this working? Are we even real. Oh two people are here on the Katrina Roots show. Hey Ryan. What's up? What's happening? Tell me the things. Do you know what I need? Fuck it. I always think I'm so organised you guys. Alright. Is this working? What the fuck? Yes it is. Okay. Hey, hey. Hey Erika. Hey all the people. Chris! What's up my San Diego bad ass? I know you're not from San Diego. Alright, hang on. I need one more thing. This is kind of embarrassing because ... Well it's not that embarrassing. It would've been embarrassed about is that I always think that I'm organised and then I'm not fucking organised. I need one more pure. Alright. I need to be higher. So check it out, let me show you my view. I've still got my pyjamas on, I'm chilling in my pyjamas. It's Bali style, you just wear your bikini and your pyjamas and nothing else for weeks on end. Look there's the ocean right there, can you see it? How good is that? When I wake up in the morning, my bed is in there through there through that area. Met a soulmate, amazing. And yeah, I can see the ocean from my bed. But tell me, more importantly than anything, and then maybe I'll show you my new tattoo colours if you'd like. I'll just show you now, 'cause let's face it, I want to show it off. Check it out. So I got all that colour added there. Alright my side abs are looking quite good today, that's nice. I got colour added through here. See there? Look at it how it's kind of psychedelic and it all blends together. And then I got this colour added in the back there. [inaudible 00:02:37] for the six hours of tattooing that I went through on Saturday. So anyway, I don't know if you can see the colours properly, but it's amazing here. He's like blended them all together. Ramen Kelley, is my fricking frame working, 'cause that was the next thing I was about to talk about and I just realised ... Okay, I'm just talking from my breasts. I just realised I was supposed to tell you when I went live and I didn't. I actually was going to test whether it worked and then it appeared to just work, so I just went live. Anyway, I don't know if you can see how he's mixed the colours there, they're all meshed in together. And so we were going to finish all this on Saturday, and then next we're starting around here, which will be this coming Saturday. But after he did half of that colour and he did the top bit earlier on in the day, then he's like, he says, "I've given you everything now baby. Just like sex, I'm done. There's nothing left. We must finish right away". That's exactly what he said. I thought we were doing two more hours and finishing all the colour through, like the flower bits there, but he basically threw down the tattoo gun all of a sudden and he's like, "I'm done. I cannot continue on. If I do this becomes like a bad oil painting". So we had that conversation. Alright. So now I've brought you up on tattoo stuff. So I'm going to go back next Saturday and I'm going to start to get, 'cause this is actually ... Okay. I just love to talk about this. Because this is like a whole story here and the story is, I had to create the story for him because he said [inaudible 00:04:09], he can't do a massive piece across your whole torso if there's not meaning and context to it. So the story that I gave him is just when you think you knew me, it all drops away again and you know nothing, nothing at all, nothing about anything. So this is just, I don't know, some mystical cubes. They go down pretty low, you don't need to see how low they go. Let's just say it was an interesting experience. And then all this stuff and then around here is going to be a face, a woman's face, but the top of it will be lifted off and it's like just when you thought you knew me, there's all these layers underneath it. So we're going to start on that on Saturday. But in other news, has anybody even fucking noticed my frame? Because I feel offended and I'm going to speak for Braun and Kelley and say Braun is offended that nobody's commented on the frame. Can you guys see that or are you all blind? Are you all just memorised by the view and by my tattoos? Abs are looking alright today, aren't they Kristen? That's what happens when you've been in Bali for a couple of days. For some reason, whenever I get into Bali I'm kind of bloated and puffy, something about the flight. I've got to rework that, it's all a mindset. I gotta also mention to you that the little black cat on my back is not part of the work that Vlad did. He's highly offended in a personal and kind of over the top manner about the cat, because he doesn't really know what to do with it. Okay, so I see that I've got the Katrina Roots show at the top of my picture. I thought we had something that was going to be at the bottom of the picture as well. I thought it was a whole frame. On my computer it's just ... Do you know what though Braun, when I had the falling that way, I could never ... I'm going to tell you guys something embarrassing about me. I thought it was a whole frame, on my computer it's. Shh. Shush. She just keeps talking. I can never remember which ways vertical and which ways horizontal. It's an embarrassing little comment about me. And then I remember, hang on, horizontal means sex. So horizontal means that way. So when I had the phone vertically, the whole frame was there Braun, and then I turned it because I always do my live streams this way, and now it's not. So I don't know what we're going to do about that, but it still looks cool. How fricking cool is that? Braun and Kelley is right here on the live stream, she made this frame for me. Send her the love hot shower. Send it to her. Send it on over. Just throw it at her. And by the way, if you ever see hilarious and outrageous in a river, it means that I post on Instagram or here, Braun makes them for me as well. She's very fucking good at it, very funny. You should see the latest line up that I haven't posted yet. Her brain works in mysterious and slightly terrifying ways, which is really just a requirement for being on my team. It's exactly where it needs to be. The top bit definitely is, but wasn't there supposed to be a bottom bit? Can we get a frame all the way around? I don't know, can we get something at the bottom? Okay, so supposedly we're going to talk about making money from [inaudible 00:07:10]. I was reading this morning some Eckhart Tolle, which I do love to read. I've somehow crumbled the whole book up. It looks like I've screwed the whole book up into a bundle and stuffed it into a corner of my suitcase now, which is possibly what happened. I reading his stuff. When I started trying to read his stuff when I was in my early 20s, it didn't make any sense to me at all. I wasn't ready for it I guess. And then I tried to listen to it one time on an audiobook and I nearly passed out from boredom at the sound of his voice. Sorry Eckhart. It's a fact. And now, I guess I'm at a suitable place of enlightenment within myself that I'm able to take from it exactly what is required. However if you think about it, you're always taking exactly what is required from all experiences. But anyway, this morning I read a little piece that was of great interest to me, and it was around, well it was of great interest because it sounded like something I would say. So really what I'm saying is that I was interested in myself. But aren't we all, let's face it. So it was around, in fact, I'm going to read it to you. I feel like from now on there's going to be a small bit of story time and reading time on my live stream, so let's just had a moment of [inaudible 00:08:20], I'm pushing my chair backwards into the pool and fall in, which would be quite funny. One second. Okay. Look at that scrunched up cover, I'm not sure what happened there. You're going to love what I'm going to read to you, it's very critical and important. Okay. Ooh, I did fold down this page because I thought it was hilarious and I thought that I might post this on social media later on today. I was going to post it this morning and then I thought I already did several posts yesterday where I think that I'm being funny, and then it sounds like I'm going to try to think that I'm being funny all the time, and I am just funny. I don't have to think about being funny. And then I thought about it too fucking much, so then I couldn't post it. But it was a Shakespeare quote that I thought would be quite amusing to use at some point relevant to the news or something like that. And it says, "A tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing". So I'm glad I've had the opportunity now to use that quote. Pretty happy about that. Alright. So then, okay. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. This is good. You're going to enjoy this. This page in particular. That's why I folded down both sides of it, well one was for Shakespeare and the other was 'cause that's where ... Hang on, why have I got three fucking pages? I don't know. Okay. Whatever. Let me read this to you. When you don't play roles, it means that there is no self ego in what you do". I wish that I was Billy Jane right now because my friend Billy Jane who's one of my soulmate friends, who I just love and adore read something to me a few weeks ago. He reads like a showman. He required me to sit there at his kitchen table while he read along a blog post of somebody else. He's got a really deep love and a person that I really do love and wanted to hear the book, but I had already read the book. I'm like really, do I have to sit hear and listen to you read this whole thing. And then he read it in the most incredible, powerful, entertaining way. And now I'm getting a little bit self conscious about the fact that my reading voice is not as interesting as it could be. But actually, the piece that I'm about to read you is pretty fucking relative to that. So I will not try and be entertaining. No. I am going to be completely non-entertaining now, just so you know. "When you don't play roles, it means there is no self ego in what you do. There is no secondary agenda, projectional strengthening of yourself. As a result, your actions have far greater power. You are totally focused on the situation. You become one with it". Now listen to this next line. "You don't try to be anybody in particular. You are most powerful, most effective when you are completely yourself, but don't try to be yourself. That's another role. It's called natural spontaneous name. As soon as you are trying to be this or that, you are playing a role". This is the bit where I was like ooh, this is good stuff because it sounds like I would have written it myself. "Just be yourself is good advice, but it can also be misleading. The mind will come in and say let's see how can I be myself". Send me a message via energetic [inaudible 00:11:19] if you have ever tried to be yourself. You can figure out what format that message will go into. "Then the mind will develop some kind of strategy, how to be myself". Who has ever tried to develop a strategy on how to be themselves? I'm pretty sure I've done that, I'm going to confess that right here. Kat feshional hashtag. "Then", oh no, I read that bit already. Must be important. We'll read it again. "Then the mind will develop some kind of strategy, how to be myself. Another role, how can I be myself". Okay. I'm getting my interactions wrong. "Another role. How can I be myself is in fact the wrong question. Wrong." Eckhart Tolle wouldn't say it in that voice because he speaks only in a monotone like this, he would say wrong question, wrong. But I'm going to say it with more emphasis. Wrong question. Wrong. When I do this I'm channelling [inaudible 00:12:11] because there's a very hilarious moment once in New Zealand a few years ago where I got fantastic photos of him doing this. And now it just makes me think of [inaudible 00:12:19]. Okay, wrong question. Let's hit that. "It implies you have to do something to be yourself. But how doesn't necessarily apply here because", wake up call, wait for this moment, "You are already yourself." I'm not certain if you knew that, took mem a while to figure that out about myself, pretty good with it now, but sometimes still need the reminder. "Just stop adding unnecessary baggage to who you already are". But I don't know who I am, I don't know what it means to be myself. That's me being you, or whoever it relates to. That's not me being me, I fucking know who I am. I figured that shit out, I'll tell you about it in a moment. This is killer, right? This is serious killer still, Kiria, just come to Bali now. You actually could just come in the next two days, I just realised that. We've been talking about you coming to Bali and I was like I'll give you my next days, and I'm like, but I'm here for the next two weeks. Side note. Alright, sorry everybody. I like to organise arrangements and things whilst on a live stream if a relevant person pops onto it. Anyway, he does talk some truth, serious truth. This next line was killer, alright? This is going to wake you up. "If you can be absolutely comfortable with not knowing who you are, then what's left is you being you. The being capital b. Behind the human, a field of pure potentiality rather than something that is already defined. Give up defining yourself. To yourself or to others. You won't die". Is he trying to be funny? Is Eckhart trying to be funny? Do you think that was a little smart assery right there in Awakening to Your Life's Purpose: A New Earth? I don't even know what the book is that I'm reading. I only chose books via energetic transmission of energy from the book to me, by the way. This is how I chose people as well. If I've chosen you as a person, you know who you are, I've chosen you via energetic transmission of your soul to mine. It has nothing to do with anything else really at all. So when I go into a book, when I go into a book, I choose what I take out of it via energetic transmission. When I go into a book store, I get lost in there for many moons. Many, many moons. I'm just telling you, if you're not the kind of person that likes to move into a bookstore and not leave for at least seven tens of the sun, then don't come into a bookstore with me. But if you're the kind of person that wouldn't want to hang out in a bookstore all day, then you wouldn't have been energetically transmitted into my life in the first place. So either way, we're good. But if I go into a bookstore, it's because I'm commanded and drawn by my soul to go in there. My soul just kind of magnetically pulls me in. And then when I go in, i wonder. I just kind of float and wonder through the store in a bit of a foughe like state, which is one of my very favourite flow states to be in, and I just wonder, and I wait until a book speaks to me from up above, presuming it is up above on a high shelf. If it's on a level shelf or a low shelf, then I suppose it speaks to me from an equal terrain. This book, I got at Book Monster in San Diego. I'm using the receipt as a bookmark. I also purchased the other one, which if you know what it is then you know what it is, and if you don't, I can't help you. But it spoke to me from the shelf. I had no idea that I was required to buy it. So I don't know what I was tearing on about. But let me get back to this, let me come back to this one last paragraph. "Give up defining yourself, to yourself, or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. When you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or as a role, but as a field of presence, of a field of conscious presence". Alright. So, this is what we're going to take from that book lesson. Don't try to be your fucking self. We already said that bit, but what about [inaudible 00:16:19]. Give me love heart share if you're making money from your magic already. Give me a love heart share if you want to be making money from your magic. Give me a love hot share if you know that you are supposed to be making money from your magic. Just give me a love hot share regardless, is basically what I'm asking, because I like to see the floating love hearts on my screen. Not the like button, which flaker just pressed like at the start. Don't even bother if you're just going to press like, don't even. It's fine to not love me, but keep quiet about it. I think that's obvious. Alright, thank you for the love hearts. The biggest thing, here's the biggest thing that I've figured out about this, because now I'm going to tell you, shortly I'm going to tell you about Rich Heart Empire. Maybe if you're watching, he can send her her emojis. Everybody who knows me well knows that my highest value of what I desire from people online is not money, not even a love heart share, not even comments, but indeed love heart emojis. That's really what I'm looking for all day. No, laughing emojis. You can put the Rich Heart Empire in, because I'm going to tell you to join up to Rich Heart Empire in a moment, but not yet, but only if you know you're meant to work with me anyway. If you don't already know it, then it doesn't matter, all right? If you know it, you know it, and you should have messaged me anyway, but maybe you didn't realise Rich Heart Empire was open. You can read the little comment when it comes up in a moment and you can message me over on my personal Facebook page. It's time to be seen and fully heard, that's what it says. It's a pink comment, it's there now. So what was I up to? The biggest thing that I've learned about making money from my magic, is exactly the same thing that young Eckhart just had to share with us. Okay, how young is he? He doesn't look that young. Let's see if we can find out. I'm going to tell you the magic thing in a moment, but my mind gets distracted easily and in many ways, and I allow it to be whatever it is. So alright, it's not in there. Have to Google it. How old is Eckhart Tolle? Gosh! He's 70. Well done to him. Alright, I don't know if you guys knew that. D-pack 71 is given me this, Esther Hicks 70, Marian Williamson 65, Katrina Roots 38. Okay, we have the update on everything now. Alright. So what was I saying? Eckhart. Okay. The biggest thing that I have figured out about the money and the magic is exactly the same thing that he was saying about the giant being, don't be you. Don't try to be you thing. And if you just jumped on, you missed the book reading. It was very important. You going to have to go back and watch that afterwards. You almost missed the tight reveal. So it's the stop trying thing, isn't it? I was doing this thing of how do I take my message from inside of me and how do I package it up in a delightful manner, and how do I present it to the internet such that they want to buy it. It didn't work. It was very confusing and exhausting. It was annoying, possibly for everybody, but definitely for me. And it actually felt kind of icky. It was kind of like this thing of let me show you that I'm cool or funny, and that's why I didn't post that Shakespeare quote this morning, 'cause I was like ooh, I think I'm trying to be funny instead of just being funny, and I am fucking funny anyway. I don't need to try to be funny. And then I thought about it too much, and I had to go have a double espresso to sort it out inside of my head, and I just let it go. Because as soon as you're thinking how do I be this, right, how do I be this, how do I be captivating, how do I be engaging, how do I be hilarious, how do I be as bold or out there as Kat or Reagan or whoever else that you might think of, then you've lost the whole thing already. It's like book, game over, failed, done, leave, go home, have some brunch, amino acids, reset your whole self from the inside out, and wait until the magic comes back. It is fucking scary though. Alright? Let me tell you about that. These stupid little glass bottles are annoying the crap out of me in my villa here in Bali. I don't know why they have to give me these teeny little 330 mil glass bottles. Do you know how difficult it is to get amino acids into that. It looks like I'm having some kind of blue powder party in the bathroom here every morning. Side note. And besides, they're so small I have to make like 14 of them every morning. It's like a whole mission. I need an entire in here just to make my aminos in the morning. So, it's about the not trying. But how do you not try, right? That's fucking scary. That literally means that you go on a live stream, for example, and maybe you have a nice frame at the top, which helps you to feel more important and special, because clearly you must be a real person on the internet if you have a thing at the top of your thing that says who you are. So I feel quite happy with myself that I've graduated to that place as of today. And maybe you have a beautiful background behind you or whatever you've got. And so it adds value and you think cool, I'm organised. But then, what the fuck do you say? Maybe you're coming on and ... This is what I was doing start of last year, or even start of the year before. I think it was the start of the year before last. I went through this phase of I really wanted to be entertaining online. I really had decided part of my role is not just to inspire, motivate, and empower, but I want to be an entertainer. Actually, if I strip it all away, if i go back to when I was like five or six years old before I became the hero of the world and decided that I was my job to save the world and basically develop [inaudible 00:21:55] complex, which a lot of us do as kids, 'cause maybe we had to step into an adult role earlier, or take on certain responsibilities or we learned that we've got to in some way support or save somebody, and then it kind of becomes mixed in with your message and your truth as who you are in a business, and then you're always trying to save everybody. Try to do that. Try not to do that. If I go back in my story before I added all that shit in, I was first and foremost story teller and performer. Just like a lot of little kids, I think. Just like my daughter for sure. And maybe my son in a different way, it's hard to tell what he is right now. He's just kind of like naughty, angry, boss baby all of the time. But definitely some kind of wild free spirit healer person as well. so I was always performing and i was always entertaining, and I was always leading and telling other people what to do and pointing myself in charge of things. So not much has changed, but in my business, like a lot of people, I had numbed down and dumbed down my message and my truth over the years. I was trying so hard at first to be a really successful fitness coach, except I wasn't trying that hard when I was being a fitness person, because I didn't know about trying and I didn't know about becoming an internet marketer. I was really just, I don't know, I was completely in being me, I wasn't thinking about how to be me. But then I tried to think about how to be well known as a leader online or a female entrepreneur or how to be a good business coach. And I was doing that thing of try to do it right, or try to look the part, try to be professional, or whatever bull shit. And it was really hard, and it was exhausting, but I let a lot of the fun and my natural true vibe go out of that. Or I didn't think there was a place for it, right? I would've thought it was super inappropriate. There's no way I would've sat on a live stream even in a bikini, let alone things I say. So I had all these rules for everything. Yeah, it was a not fun period. And so a couple of years ago, I really started to tune into the fact that a big part of who I am, a big part of my personality is entertaining and performing, and when I'm with my friends and the people who I love the most, I definitely go into that role. Particularly with people I'm most comfortable with, right? And I'd be curious to know, do you relate to this. Give me more love if you relate to it. Or give me the laughing emojis, just 'cause I like to see them. Alright. So when I'm with the people who I love the most, who I'm most comfortable with, I'm really silly. I get really over the top. I tend to dominate the conversation a lot of the time. I often have felt embarrassed about that. Thank you so much for the love heart emojis and the laughing emojis. I've often felt embarrassed and self conscious about it, even when I'm with my family where I know I'm fully loved and accepted. I often have the feeling like man, shut up. I'm saying to myself inside my head shut up, you're just talking too much. It's not the fricking Katrina Roots show. I'm like, it is the fucking Katrina Roots show. But you know sometimes when you're with other people and you're like for fucks sake, would you just shut up. And I just can't seem to be able to, I just keep going. What's amazing and hilarious and perfect, is that 100% of my clients now, my inner circle clients, my soul mate clients, and I'm going to say my friends and the people who are my inner circle peeps in my life are all the same. So whenever I have an inner circle retreat, like we had one here in Bali a few months ago, everybody's just talking over everybody the whole fucking time. And I did my [inaudible 00:25:20] and my new AP day in New York a couple weeks ago, and one of my clients needs, who's one of my private clients, and who flew from Geneva to fucking New York for one day to come to my event, she actually said, and I just loved and honoured her that she said this, she was like right now, as I'm teaching my own event, my own event, right, my own day. She made the confession, which is that right now she's getting really grumpy at me that I was talking so much and she just wanted me to shut up so that she could talk. I know that's like, I love it, I love that you just said that. And I was like who here feels the same way that actually they should probably be in charge of this day and be able to talk and have everyone listen to them the whole time, and 100% of the hands went up. So I've always been that person, but I wasn't letting it through in my business and I definitely wasn't letting the silly, and the rambly, and the playful, and all that shit come through. I just had all these rules for how it should have to be. And yeah, I made a decision that I'm going to let that part of me out. And then what happened though was really not ideal. What happened was I tried to be funny and I tried to be entertaining and I tried to be outrageous or hilarious or whatever. And it was really embarrassing and really awkward. Now I have total compassion for myself from this time. You could go back, I remember I was doing this roughly around April, May 2016. I remember being in LA and I remember I decided that I was going to dance on my streams. And I talked about it with my mentor at the time, I'm like this is what I'm going to do, I'm going to start being silly and funny on my live streams and I'm going to dance. And so then I would put Spotify on and I would fricking dance to the ocean or the song the ocean, or whatever it was, I was just literally dancing on a live stream, and I'm not even good at dancing, although I am fucking good at dancing if I don't think about how to be good at dancing. When I think about being good at dancing, I'm definitely not good at dancing. Ocean? Back off. This is the Katrina Roots show, not the fricking Balinese ocean show. And it was definitely awkward and I felt super self conscious, right? And I kind of kept going with it though. I was like, I'm going to crack this. I'm going to figure this out. And now I look back and I'm like it's so perfect that I did that. It's so perfect announcing that I did that, because that was my process of trying to figure it out, right? And so maybe you come online now and you go okay, I want to write deep powerful messages or footprints or whatever. Or I want to do live streams where I'm totally letting all sides of myself come out, and then you try to think about how to do that. And then you do it and then afterwards you feel kind of like, like that's kind of like should I delete that, should I take that down, or I feel silly, or I feel not good enough, or whatever. But I think we gotta honour ourselves for putting ourselves out there and for trying. At some point though, with that particular example, I just kind of let it go. I was like oh my god, this is stupid. I look stupid. I'm being stupid. Why am I fucking dancing? What am I trying to prove here? Do I think I'm trying to be cool? Am I trying to prove to people that I'm entertaining? That's not the way to be entertaining. And I just kind of let it go and I forgot about it. But here's what I did, and this is a critical note that you must write down. Pull out your pen now. I was still setting intentions in my journaling on this, right? I was writing things in my journaling like I'm an entertaining leader, I'm entertaining and inspiring, I'm a fantastic performer, I'm funny, people love to watch my stuff, not just because it inspires and motivates them, because it also entertains them and magnetises them. And I was writing stuff like that, and I think I kind of forgot that I was writing it. And whatever amount of time passed, like a lot of time, and it was only even recently, I think I even thought of it again in the last few weeks, but definitely a few months ago where I suddenly remembered that time and I remembered that time when I tried to be entertaining and I tried to be funny and I just wasn't. My son's in there laughing at me. And now I'm like oh shit, I am entertaining and funny on live streams. Not all the time, sometimes I'm completely serious. In fact, last week, I think it was last week, yeah, last week I did a split screen live stream with somebody and we said we were going to be hilarious and entertaining and then, it was with Patrick, and then we didn't. But that, it wasn't like we tried to be though. But I thought it was interesting that we had said that we were going to be hilarious and funny, and then it totally didn't go that way at all. It went into power and truth in a different way, but it was kind of like well of course that's probably unlikely to happen if you decide that it's going to happen or if you say that it's going to happen. If you decide and set an intension that it's going to happen, and then you kind of release it and not think about it, then it may or may not happen, but whatever's meant to come out will happen. Tell me. Tell the whole story. Tell it to the people, they want to know. You got anything to say? I just want to sit on your lap. You just want to sit on my lap. Yay. So today when I came on, there was a part of me that was like oh, I haven't really live streamed properly the past few days because I came back in to Bali and I got my kids back for the first time in several weeks, been doing things. And then I had a Bali zombie state that came over me and I was asleep for a day, then I was tattooing for a day, and then we were riding elephants, weren't we? Yeah. Yeah. And we were doing lots of cool things. Look at all these love hearts, they're definitely for you. Yeah. Yeah. Of course. I already got my love hearts earlier, they're for sure your love hearts. So yeah, as I came on the live stream today, I was sort of like oh, I hope that the power comes out today. I hope that the magic comes out today. And I think I thought I hope that I'm funny today or something like that, and then I quickly put it aside, because I know and understand how this shit works. Which is that you can't come on and be like I hope I'm funny today. You can say that, you can set an intension. Or you know, I hope and trust that the power of the magic will come through me, but then it's just whatever comes out will come out. And so to come right back to the side of the story and find out where I- Mommy. Yes. Why is, look. I'm doing this. But it's not doing. It's doing that. It's 'cause there's a small delay. You'll see it down here, like two seconds after you see it up here. See? See? So if you do it up here and then two seconds later it will come up down here. There's another one looking right here, just standing there like a frozen statue. Have anything to say? Because I'm right at my peek point that I wanted to make. See? He thinks I'm funny. Are you snorting? Yes. Alright. Let me say my final point. Someone ripped me off. See, look. Yeah, you got scammed. How much was that? $17. $17? You gotta be kidding, for that little thing. Look how pretty this girl is. You wrecked my hair. Pretty, pretty bad ass. She's over there making sassy faces at me now. Where is me? You're there. And now you're here. You're coming back here in a moment. Okay. [inaudible 00:32:35]. Okay. The point that I was going to make. Let me get back to my point. I'll try and get back to my point. That when you simply have that, I guess, overall guiding intention or desire that whatever's meant to come out is going to come out, but then you forget about it is the only way that it's going to come out. Are you going to go to the pool? No. Okay. Bye. Give me a kiss, I'll see you later. I don't want to. I want to stay here. We can stay for a few minutes if you want, I'm going to finish up here in a minute. So it's got to be that you have this intention and you basically decided, of course all of me gets to come through. But it's not like deciding oh, I should be funny or I should be deeply magnetising or I should be this or that or the other thing based on what you see me do or what you see anyone else do. It's based on what's inside of you. It's based on this is who I know I already am. This is who I know I already am. I already know that I'm an inspiring person. I know I'm a motivating person. I know I'm a magnetising person. It's true. I know I'm a funny person. I know that I'm all these things when I'm at my most relaxed. She knows she's a bad ass, that's so true, for sure. Cheeky one. Cheeky. Cheeky and sneaky. I got scammed. I got scammed. I see you right here. Yeah, you're here and you're here. Look what that says, the Katrina Roots show. We can get one made that says the Alyssa show. And mine? Yes. The Alyssa Rose show. Alyssa Rose show. Alright. So then I simply made a decision at some point in my business strategy that I'll let all those sides of me come out. And that might be what you would want to do, right? Is make a decision, I'm going to let all sides of me come out. And maybe if this is resonating for you, you could sit down today and journal on it, okay well I know I am this. I know I'm a bad ass. What else do you know you are? Hi Natalie. Hi Summer. Those are our ulterior roles. Our alternative personalities. Alright. So I kind of acknowledged all that stuff inside of me, and I had to do that, or chose to do that, because I'd been not making space for it, and I'd been pushing it down or pushing it away. And so it was kind of like okay, give myself permission to be all of this. But then when I had- I still see you! She's still here even though she's not here. It's crazy. But then I had to go through, or I did go through this phase of I was trying to be what I already am. I was trying to turn my magic into a message and into money and into something that would captivate people and build my followers and get people wanting to buy form me and so on and so forth. And it didn't work that way obviously. And it took me that growth period to figure that out to then forget about it all, but I had the intension that I'm just going to be me. And so now when I look at how I show up, I'm like, well it goes wherever it fricking goes, right? It could go funny, it could go random, it could go inappropriate, it could go with kids ... Whatever happens, happens. And it's always perfect and the exact message comes out that's meant to come out. But it's never that I sit on here and say this is what I'm going to try to do now, this is who I'm going to try and be. Right? And on occasion I do. On occasion, I definitely do that. I guess kind of forget my own message and forget my own truth. And I'm like oh, I really want to do a deeply powerful, preachy live stream. And when I do that, it's just kind of like ugh, it feels disconnected, it feels disjointed, it feels like it's not flowing for me. Hi. Okay. So the thing that you've got to think about is not how do I make money from my magic, but how do I not even think about that? How do I trust? How do I connect back to who I know I already am? And just give myself permission to be all of that. And yes, said intensions like I am this person, I am a bad ass, I am a leader, people love my content, I write all this shit all the time, everyday. This morning my journal I write stuff like this down for sure. But then when you come on, when you come on for your message, whether it's your free content, but this is also true with your paid content and how you communicate with clients, you don't think about it. You don't try. You don't worry about it. When I come onto a paid training or a free one, or maybe I want to sell something, which I'm always selling something, I no longer worry about how do I do that. I simply open my mouth, and what comes out comes out. And I'm able to do that because I trust and know that how I live my life means that I'm continually feeding into my own soul and into my own truth. And whatever comes out is fucking gold. And that's just the truth of it, right? And it might be inspiring, it might be preachy, it might be motivational preachy, or sometimes not, whatever. It sometimes, it is disconnected, and sometimes you feel that as well, but that's the same in real life, right? When you hang out with your friends. I was at dinner with my friend Lindsey the other night, and I was definitely completely disconnected. I knew I wasn't really being very engaging or engaged as a friend. Oh shit. Are you okay? Come here. Don't worry, you'll just have to get changed. He just fell in the pool. Don't worry, you'll just have to get new clothes on. Come here. Come here. People are going to send you love. No, he's gone. Whoops. Don't worry honey, it's the same as when Alyssa jumped in the pool with her dress on the other day, you'll be fine. Okay. Just go inside and get some new clothes on. I don't want to! Come here, come here. I've got a towel right here. Come here. There you go. It's all happening. I don't even know what I was saying. I think you've got the message, right? You've got to just have that intention and then trust that what needs to come out is going to come out. And it's trust basically being, and it's trust based business creation, and I guess the only other thing that you've got to add to that is well you do gotta show up though. It's not going to work if you wait until you feel like it or if you do it inconsistently. So for me, the real way that I do make money from my magic, if you wanted to know the how, is that I just show up. I show up every fricking day in some way, shape, or form. Some days more than others, some days are more powerful than others, some days I really feel like that was gold and I loved it and I loved what came though. And other days I'm like eh, that seemed kind of lame, or I didn't really get the engagement or I didn't feel amazing about it, but I continue on anyway. And I just think that very few people do that and are willing to do that. Mostly what people do is they flake out when they don't get the engagement they want or they flake out if they don't feel good or they flake out if it's not really, yeah. Like if they're not feeling like it's working in the way that they want it to work. And then they kind of go and hide again or they become inconsistent or they become kind of flaky with what they're doing all over the place, or they try to think about how to do it and it just doesn't work. So the big message here is are you willing to show up for your message, for your art, for your truth, for your business, for yourself even if you don't know if it's good enough? Even if it doesn't feel engaging, even if it doesn't feel like you're being inspiring, and even if it doesn't feel like people are listening. Because I'm going to tell you, that's the way that I've done it. It's the consistency, it's the showing up day in and out. It's just being there for my message and my truth no matter what. Literally, no matter what is going on around me, right? And that's it. That's the whole story. It's all you need to do. All you need to do is commit to showing up and then do that, but do it without judging or critiquing your own message, right? We all do this. I still do it on occasion where you walk out of a live or a blog that you've written or something and you're kind of like man, I feel embarrassed about that, or I feel annoyed about that, or I feel like I wish it was something different, and it's just kind of like and get on with it, let it keep going anyway. You get to keep going anyway. Guess what. What? [inaudible 00:40:28]. Of course you did, you little hacker. No, I did. I believe you. [inaudible 00:40:36]. Really? yeah. Alright. So final thing that I want to tell you. Rich Heart Empire is open for April registration. It is my most transformative one on one intensive ever. It's six weeks one on one with me. It's a structured programme with content all around how to build your cult tribe. Oh by the way, I can do a hand stand with one or two push ups. That's true. She can do hand stand push ups, it's amazing. So work with me for six weeks personally to grow your perfect cult tribe. [inaudible 00:41:06] Empire and set up multiple recurring incomes change to take you to seven figures and beyond doing what you love, that's the structure of what I teach in Rich Heart Empire, but it's complete one on one with me as well. So we have the structured content that I've created and that I've continued to add to, and we have must private plans, and you have one on one with me. You gotta message me on my personal page about this. It's only 20 places and we're already starting sales. Sales have already been made. It's already starting to fill. I only opened it up a couple of days ago, I haven't really spoken about it much because I've kind of been in Bali floating mode, like I said. So if you've not noticed this, or you have noticed but you didn't realise it's a very limited small thing, and it is very high level for one on one, then you might want to message me about that. If it's speaking to you, if you want to learn more about working with me, if you want to know what that obviously involves and what we go through and investment and all that stuff, message me over on my Katrina Roots personal page. And really I guess, the big thing is, it is around being you. Yes, there's stuff that I teach around exactly how to build your cult tribe, exactly how to find your soul mate clients, exactly how to create low rate to high rate offers and launch them and sell them online, and all this other cool shit, but for it to work, it obviously depends on you connecting fully to who you are and letting that out into the world. And so that's a decision that only you can make, it is something I'll work on with my clients in deep detail, continually forever come back to no matter how long I've been working with someone and how many hundreds of thousands of dollars they're now making, it's a continual thing that we talk about, because I talk about it all the time for myself as well. But it starts with that decision and commitment. Can i show these people how I do hand stand push up? You can do it right there. Alright. So message me if you want to know about that. I'm going to finish up this live stream. I'm going to go get my yoga on. No, you can do it over here. Just here. Alright, we're going to see a handstand push up to finish and then I'm going to jump off. Details during the pink comment. Oh that was half of one. Alright. I'm going to go. Don't forget. Life is now, press play.

I'm sorry. I tried. I'm sorry I wasn't enough. I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I'm pathetic, I'm vain, I'm worthless, I think too much, I'm sorry I keep screwing up and my life is a trainwreck still struggling along the tracks. I'm so f#@%ing sorry that this is who I am! Who I became... If I've disappointed you, I'm so *sorry.*... I'm sorry.

You will be what you see - a podcast You're a different person today than you were yesterday and I hope I can help you be a different 'you' tomorrow. If you, like me, get a little anxious of this and what you find when you're doing this, I'd like you to remember this is just an invisible barrier and the results are magnificent! Let's break down and throw away the mystique and create the magic of personal change work, where you will just seem to get lucky, experience co-incidence and the wonder of serendipity. We're surrounded by so much noise and just when I was surrounded by noise I heard one sentence that made me stop and think deeply. It made me mull over my past, who was there? what did I see? and what was influencing me back then that created what and where I am now. I'll share with you my thoughts and experience (not too pretty) and my behaviours then which were so different to the way I am now - At least I hope so. If I've changed so much - how did that happen? Follow me in my meanderings of how we identify where you were and what emotions you experience and how you can learn from them. Because when you do learn and ask one of my magical questions. All this is based on the sentence -"You will only be what you see" And - what are you seeing now, what do you experience every day that will create what you will be And- what can you decide to see, be seen and experience that will create how you want to be - THE REAL YOU There's lots going on here and you will need Jenny Journal -YAY! Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just click on the iTunes logo or any of the other buttons at paulclough.co.uk and even get updates via email. Go to paulclough.co.uk/subscribe to learn more If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm also in iHeart radio

Young professionals today are super brave. We move across cities, states, and even oceans - [Julia] This rural mission is brought to you by Michigan State University College of Human Medicine Leadership and Rural Medicine programs. The podcast is funded in part by a generous grant provided by the Herbert H. and Grace A. Dow Foundation. To learn more about the Leadership in Rural Medicine programs, please visit www.msururalhealth.chm.msu.edu. I'm your host, Julia Terhune, and stay tuned for more from this Rural Mission. (bluegrass music) -[Julia] Hello, and welcome back to another episode of this Rural Mission, brought to you by Michigan State University College of Human Medicine. Today we're going to take a little bit of a different route. Today we're going to talk about what it means to be brave. That might seem like a really different topic. Typically we talk about rural health disparities or we talk about social issues in rural America and now we're going to talk about bravery? Well, hear me out for a second We do a lot of brave things in our lives. Some of us move overseas, some of us go out of state to a brand new place to get an education or change jobs and all of those things, every single one of them is extremely brave and courageous, but there's something else that's just as brave and that's going back. Going back to that small town that you grew up in, going back to the place you said you would never return to. (electric guitar music) We're going to talk to a number of people today. Some of the people that we talk to are planning to return to their small town after they graduate. Some are already returning to their small town to get an education, and some swore they would never, ever return but have made a career out of their small town. I encourage you to stay tuned and hear more from this Rural Mission. We've got an interesting road ahead and I'm excited for you to see how brave you really have to be to go back. Daniel Drake, soon to be Dr. Daniel Drake, is a Rural Community Health Program student at the Midland Regional campus. - [Daniel] I mean, I grew up in Caro and Caro is a relatively small town. And so I went up to the UP and I was at Michigan Tech. No one in my family is a physician, no one had gone to a four-year university at all. So I was kind of figuring it all out on my own and when I was at Tech, I heard about an early assurance program that Michigan state did and you took your MCAT early and applied early and so I think I found out it was 2012 when I found out that I was going to go to Michigan State for my medical school. - [Paula] So I'm Paula Klose and I am a family physician, I'm a graduate of Michigan State College of Human Medicine and I trained in the Upper Peninsula campus for my clinical years. - [Daniel] I have always kind of known that I wanted to do rural health, that was always my big thing. Being from a small town, going to undergrad in a small town where I knew I wanted to practice rurally. - [Paula] I wanted to work in a rural community, I wanted to live in a log cabin that I built by hand (laughs). And so when I was applying to medical schools, I chose Michigan State College of Medicine because of the Upper Peninsula medical education program. - [Daniel] With R-CHP, the rural community health program, Midland has a site for that in Pigeon. - [Paula] For the past, let's see, six years, I have been involved with Michigan State again and was asked to be the community assistant dean for the Midland Regional campus. - [Daniel] In Pigeon, it is near the tip of the thumb and Huron County, not far from my hometown at all and it was a place that I was familiar with. I was like, it would be really exiting to go back and just be able to actually practice clinical medicine up there. - [Julia] You grew up here too, didn't you? - [Paula] Yes, yeah. I wasn't born here, but my dad worked for Dow Chemical and never thought I would end up back here again. Pictured myself living in the UP, practicing. And so I was going to use the Midland family medicine residency as a practice interview. So I came down, interviewed with the program, actually learned more about the program than I had known and loved it and so ended up ranking them first and matched (laughs). And so, the rest of the story. - [Daniel] For me, if you would have asked me three years ago or four years ago before I started, I would have told you I will never go back to the farm. I would have said I don't want to go back. - [Paula] So I was not going to live in Midland, Michigan. I was going to live in that little community (laughs), but loved my partners, and my practice, and my patients and it's really an excellent hospital system to work in, so I ended up staying here raising my kids. - [Daniel] As I've gone through this, the training, as I've had kids, it's really dawned on me the importance of community and family. But here in a city, there can still be some anonymity with how you're treating patients, right? Like, you blend into the crowd of a couple other. Couple other. A huge group of doctors. A rural area, if you go back, you might be the only doctor in that town. - [Paula] As I started residency and I had a panel of patients, all the sudden my panel was full of nurses I worked with, friends, friends' parents, colleagues of my father (laughs). So you get into this role that has all these multifaceted dimensions, right? I was also the first female primary care physician in Midland and I had overwhelming interest in being part of my practice. - [Daniel] so your reputation is really on the line and I think that to go into a situation like that, I think that takes bravery. - [Paula] As a woman in medicine in a smaller community, you're already a leader of sorts, so some of that came with the position and the same thing with my position as community assistant dean, you know, that's what I am and I represent the health system as well as the college, so that's challenges. I wouldn't say that it was bravery, but it was a challenge. - [Daniel] I honestly look forward to it though. I think that's also one of the strongest things about practicing rural medicine and one of the biggest benefits about it is the fact that you can really carry a community and help them out and I don't know, I just love that idea.   (acoustic guitar music) - [Julia] The voices that you're hearing in this segment are of Ali Hoppy, Elana Rosmussen, and Kala Yob. All three are premed undergraduate students from Michigan. All three of them have something else in common. They all participated in Michigan State University's Rural Premedical Internship Program in the summer of 2016. I'll be telling you more about the Rural Premedical Internship Program or the RPIP program I just a bit, but before I do, let's talk a little bit about what it means to be brave. Ali, Elana, and Kala talk a little bit about that. All three of them have spent time overseas. - [Ali] I went to Ghana the summer of 2015, so after my freshman year of college. - [Julia] So you were 19? - [Ali] Yes, 19. - [Elana] I went to Australia for six weeks. - [Kala] I studied abroad in Segovia, Spain. - [Julia] And how long were you there? - [Kala] For two months. (acoustic guitar music) - [Ali] Ghana more picked me. I grew up in a very small town in the thumb. Rural Michigan. My senior year in high school, unfortunately got a phone call one morning that my oldest brother Josh has been killed in a car accident. My brother, he was a high school teacher. He left a legacy through a lot of people in the way he lived his life. I heard of this trip to Ghana and I just wanted to go. I didn't have any real reason behind it. I just wanted to go and touch as many lives. I saw how short how lives can be but how much you can do in that short time. I just hopped on the plane and went to Ghana. - [Julia] Yet when I ask them what they would rather do, get on a plane and go back to those foreign lands or apply to medical school, I wasn't surprised with the answers that I received. When you think about hopping on a plane and going back to Spain or applying to medical school, which scares you more? - [Kala] Applying to medical school (laughs). - [Ali] Ghana, jumping on a plane, going to Ghana, was hands down less terrifying than filling out a medical school application.   - [Elana] I know that I can do it, but I have a hard time with that, getting from there to expressing that to somebody else, I have a hard time with. So I have a really big concern for that part as far as applying for medical school, but I know that once I get in, I'm really excited for that next step, but I'm excited to actually be there and be with the people that have that same feeling that I have a hard time explaining (laughs). - [Kala] I just noticed through this whole process how much of a well-rounded person you need to be and I guess in a small town it's like, that's not the focus. It's just kind of survive, get through, and do your best and then in a small town, it's easy to stand out (laughs) because there's less people and then once you get to the medical school process, you need to know how to stand out, you need to know how to be different. (acoustic guitar music) - [Julia] Dr. Mower is the assistant dean of admissions at Michigan State University College of Human Medicine. Michigan State University College of Human Medicine has had a significant devotion to underserved populations since its foundation in 1964. We were the very first community-based medical education program and we're pretty proud of that. Dr. Mower is responsible for making sure that we are not only admitting the best potential doctors, but that we are also admitting students who are diverse and have altruistic reasons for going into medicine. We want students to return to underserved communities, specifically rural communities, and Dr. Mower has some real concerns about how students get their medical education and where they go when they're done practicing because that's also very important. (piano music) - [Dr. Mower] I think we're a medical school that takes its mission seriously. I think we bring a lot of people in who have a lot of ideals and hopes, and ideas of how they want to serve in the medical field. And so, I mean, I just think that there has to be more, I mean if we're going to be serious about this, I think we have to figure out a way to capture these kids before they show up on our doorstep and we have to figure out a way to continue to monitor and mentor them once they walk away, particularly if it's a student who has identified him or herself as having a strong interest in serving an underserved area, whether that be rural, whether that be intercity, urban, whether that be migrant healthcare, LGBT health care, international developing country health care. I mean, we need to figure out a way to continue to follow and mentor these graduates, even though they are under the direct tutelage of perhaps somebody else right now. - [Julia] Dr. Mower's concern for having a place for rural students before medical school, during medical school, and after medical school is a significant concern and something that should be taken very seriously and we have. Dr. Andrea Wendling has been running the rural premedical Internship Program for several years now. It's a place, a place for rural students to learn more about getting into medical school and to help them feel more confident and prepared. And Dr. Wendling is reaching her goals for this program. Let's just return for one moment back to Elana, Ali, and Kala. Hear what they have to say about returning to their rural community, even though they have gone on to do amazing things both in the state of Michigan and abroad. - [Julia] Why, why rural? I know you said that there's a need, but I mean, you're living in East Lansing, you lived in all these big cities, I mean, why go back? - [Elana] It's the whole package that is really appealing to me. I like the idea of going home. I belong there, I don't belong here in East Lansing. It's just a feeling, I know it. - [Ali] I love my rural community, but for people that have grown up rural, you know when you're there that you're ready to go see something new because you don't know the uniqueness and the specialness of the place you live until you leave it. Going to Grand Valley was amazing for me because it really taught me how much I had back home and how unique and special those small communities are. - [Kala] So yeah, I'm really excited to come here and to practice one day and to be that extra resource for people. And not only to help them, but to have known where they come from. - [Ali] And I was so excited to learn that that's something that you can actually specifically pursue and there's people out there that can help you make that happen and know how to make that happen because when I came into this and I've known that I wanted to go to medical school for a long time, but when I came into it, I thought that I was going to have to establish myself in an urban area to gain the training and stuff. I didn't realize that there was an option to directly go to the rural setting and just learn there, start there, and continue on there. (piano music) - [Julia] I get it, we all want to make an impact, we all want to do really brave and courageous things that last a lifetime and even longer. That's the reason why we go to school, that's the reason why we move places, that's the reason why we work. We want to do great things in the time that we have and I'm not saying that going overseas and going to a new land, or starting over in a brand new place isn't brave or courageous or impactful. I think that there are lots of people that have done amazing things by stepping way out of their comfort zone. What I'm actually saying is that going back is just as courageous. Go back and work at your local hospital making sure that hiring processes are up to federal standards for diversity and inclusion. Go become a teacher back at your hometown, go serve the geriatric community as a doctor, a nurse, or a physical therapist. Go back, do great things with the time that you have in a community that you know and love. In my opinion, that's just as brave. Normally, I end with some music, but today I'm going to end with a poem. In Defense of Small Towns by Oliver De La Paz. When I look at it, it's simple, really. I hated life there.   September, once filled with animal deaths and toughened hay. And the smells of fall were boiled-down beets and potatoes or the farmhands' breeches smeared with oil and diesel as they rode into town, dusty and pissed. The radio station split time between metal and Tejano, and the only action happened on Friday nights where the high school football team gave everyone a chance at forgiveness. The town left no room for novelty or change. The sheriff knew everyone's son and despite that, we'd cruise up and down the avenues, switching between brake and gearshift. We'd fight and spit chew into Big Gulp cups and have our hearts broken nightly. In that town I learned to fire a shotgun at nine and wring a chicken's neck with one hand by twirling the bird and whipping it straight like a towel. But I loved the place once. Everything was blonde and cracked and the irrigation ditches stretched to the end of the earth. You could ride on a bicycle and see clearly the outline of every leaf or catch on the streets each word of a neighbor's argument. Nothing could happen there and if I willed it, the place would have me slipping over its rocks into the river with the sugar plant's steam or signing papers at a storefront army desk, buttoned up with medallions and a crew cut, eyeing the next recruits. If I've learned anything, it's that I could be anywhere, staring at a hunk of asphalt or listening to the clap of billiard balls against each other in a bar and hear my name. Indifference now? Some. I shook loose, but that isn't the whole story. The fact is I'm still in love. And when I wake up, I watch my son yawn, and my mind turns his upswept hair into cornstalks at the edge of a field. Stillness is an acre, and his body idles, deep like heavy machinery. I want to take him back there, to the small town of my youth and hold the book of wildflowers open for him, and look. I want him to know the colors of horses, to run with a cattail in his hand and watch as its seeds fly weightless as though nothing mattered, as though the little things we tell ourselves about our pasts stay there, rising slightly and just out of reach. Oliver De La Paz is an associate professor of English at College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, Massachusetts. I want to thank him sincerely for letting us read his poem on this Rural Mission. You can find more of his poems at www.oliverdelapaz.com. (acoustic guitar music) ♫ When I turn to little town Thank you again for listening to this Rural Mission. It's an honor and a privilege to get to produce this podcast. Each topic is more interesting and I get to interview some of the most intelligent and intriguing people. I want to thank some of those people. I want to thank Dr. Mower and Dr. Klose for taking time out of their schedules to speak with me. I also want to thank Dan Drake. Dan Drake is a fourth-year medical student and will be graduating in May. I'm really proud of the things that he's accomplished and he's been an outstanding student and a fantastic person to get to know. I want to thank three student-to-be doctors if everything. I want to thank the three R-PIPe students that I spoke to today, Ali Hoppy, Elana Rosmussen, and Kala Yob. It was great to get to work with them this summer and it was even more fun to get to know them a little bit more through this interview. As always, a sincere thanks to Dr. Andrea Wendling, the Director of Rural Community Health at Michigan State University College of Human Medicine. This podcast would not be possible without her and she is a physician who also moved away and went back. She didn't go back to her hometown, but she went back to her husband's hometown and has worked as a rural family medicine doctor for a number of years. Her contribution to rural medicine, again, is also clinical and academic, much like Dr. Klose's and she does fantastic things to make sure that rural medical students are represented in medical education, specifically at MSU. Thank you to everyone and I hope you join us again next time for more from this Rural Mission. ♫ Picking up the pieces ♫ Of where I should have been ♫ And if you see Michigan State University has been devoted to recruiting, training, and retaining doctors in rural communities for over 40 years. We started in 1974 with the Rural Physicians Program up in Marquette, Michigan and we've expanded with the Rural Community Health Program down into the Lower Peninsula through the Midland Regional Campus and the Traverse City Regional campus. For several years now, Dr. Andrea Wending has been running the Rural Premedical Internship Program or the RPIP program. This program works with undergraduate students who are interested in pursuing medicine as their career. The program preference is premed undergraduate students who are from a rural community or have a significant devotion to a rural community. We run the program every summer and students are accepted through an application process. If you are interested in the Rural Premedical Internship Program, please visit our website at www.msururalhealth.chm.msu.edu. There you can find out more about the program, its requirements, and even apply. ♫ When I close my eyes and pray ♫ The song's rapt hold and wouldn't let go ♫ Until we went our separate ways ♫ Oh little town oh town ♫ I'm on your streets again ♫ Picking up the pieces ♫ Of where I should have been ♫ And if you see the side of me ♫ That brings me to your door ♫ Then hold me little town ♫ And if you see the side of me ♫ That brings me to your door ♫ Then hold me little town Please visit our website at www.msururalhealth.chm.msu.edu. By joining our website, you could connect to us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can also find out more about our musician. Music today was provided by Horton Creek and Bryan Eggers, a local musician and Michigan native. We hope you tune in next time to hear more from this Rural Mission. to live up to our potential and make a positive impact on our world. Moving back to that small town that you swore you would never return to can also be a very brave thing to do. Think about it... Make a name for yourself in a completely new city? Or try to convince your high school English teacher that you are capable of managing their healthcare? For the students and doctors we are talking to on this episode, that is exactly what they've done! We also highlight a program that has been helping rural undergraduate premedical students matriculate into medical school and live out these brave, brave career choices.  

Hey, I hope you guys are doing great. I've got somewhat of a fast episode for you today, but this is a powerful lesson. Look, I used to do door to door sales, and a lot of you guys know that. That I was a door to door sales guy, and I wasn't bad at it, and I was a telemarketer as well. I chose to do those things on purpose because I wanted to be able to go through experiences that would teach me how to sale in high pressure environments. I wanted to learn how to sale in environments that ... Frankly, I wanted to get uncomfortable. Which was a weird thing for me to realize that I needed to go do, but in order for me to grow and get out of my shell I had to do that. So I went and I started doing door to door sales. I started going, and I wasn't bad at it, like I said. In fact, I was the number two first year salesmen for like half the summer. Then there was this experience I had that completely ruined me. One day I was driving out to the area, and I was with a bunch of other guys. We were in my buddy's it was either a truck or SUV, I can't remember what kind of car. We were driving out and there was all these billboards on the highway. If I've told this story before just kind of bear with me. There's an aspect to this that I think you should hear. We were driving out, and all these billboards on the side of the highway. Then suddenly I had the thought hit me, hard. This was my exact thought. Isn't it interesting that I am driving out to convince people to spend money, who woke up and were not planning to spend money today versus people who call these billboards off the highway are trying to get information on how to buy. I was like that's interesting. That's very, very interesting. You guys ever heard the term, prospecting pushes while marketing pulls? I was basically prospecting. Door to door wise I was prospecting. I was going door to door prospecting this thing, and that's the reason I don't like to go to the mall. I'm not telling you not to do that. I'm not telling you to not sale ways that you've proven to go do it. If you're a master at home parties awesome. I'm not, and I don't want to learn to be. That's part of the reason why though. Is because, prospecting pushes and marketing pulls. Right? I want to be able to market and kind of pull people along who are already in motion. What I did though is a kind of actual door to door thing. What I did though is I remember I was kind of ruined the rest of the summer. I went back home after the summer, actually before I went home I started placing all these ads all over the internet. I started placing these ads out, and I started saying things like hey here's our ... I basically put our pitch, the same pitch that I was giving the people on the doors I put in ads on free classified sites on the internet. I didn't realize that I actually was breaking some laws by doing that, but I was just taking action. I had to take them down after a while, but what was crazy is my phone started blowing up, and I was getting phone sales like a beast. More sales than I typically was averaging in a single day were just coming to me. My boss was like, "How are you doing that?" I was like, "Dude, I literally just placed these ads out on the internet. Oh my gosh this is crazy." I was ruined though. I was ruined. I had to take them down, and I couldn't stop, but there was this opened fleet window of just all these sales coming, and these sales coming. I was like, "Oh my gosh. What is this?" It ruined me, because I kept walking around thinking I know that I could sale today, but how did that happen? How can I replicate that? Was that just a fluke? I mean, it happened so quick, and there was all these people, and I got tons. It was like holy crap. So I was ruined the rest of the summer because I was like there's a different way to do this. How do I do this? You can use the internet for this kind of stuff? I was so new, I was so green. This was four and a half years ago. When I first really started to learn about funnels, sales funnels, and the internet, and things like that. Anyway, I've never forgotten that. I went on to go learn how to place different ads in different places, and how to communicate to a bunch of people at once rather than just one on one. Fast forward a little bit. So Russell Brunson and I run an event currently right now called the FHAT event, Funnel Hackathon. Okay? For three straight days we basically help someone set up the funnel, and business, and structure, and sales message, and offer to get them from zero to seven figures. That's the whole event, and it's kind of high ticket, and it's a ton of fun. It's three days long. We really don't let people sleep much, and it's awesome. We had this realization though. We were prepping for one of these, and he gets onstage and teaches a while, I get onstage and teach a while, we'll get on together we teach a while. That's how it happened in the last one anyway. Then he leaves, and then I pretty much take the full second day almost, and then almost the full third day. It's a lot of fun. We go from 9:00 AM to midnight. It's a long day. It's a long day to be on stage, long day to be on, long day to be turned on and be in on mode, presenting mode the whole time. I really like it. We were planning for one of these events, and we had done it many times, but we were just refining. We were making things better. We had this epiphany. We had this realization while we were preparing that one of the major reasons why we were being so successful with this stuff was because, what we had learned how to do was instead of selling one to one ... This is super key you guys. Oh my gosh, what I'm about to say here can change your entire MLM for good. This is the reason why ... I know why I'm being successful with this. I know why my funnels work. I know exactly ... It's not an accident. I know exactly what is pulling people to me, and I know exactly why I'm able to still breath. I know exactly why I'm still able to live, have time, do things that I'd like to. I know why. I know exactly why they convert, and why, why it's being successful. Which is worth way more than being successful by accident. Here's why. It had to do with this realization, I don't know how many months ago this was it was a while ago though, we were preparing for one of these events and we had this realization that the reason we were being so successful was because we had learned how to sale one to many, instead of one to one. That's the reason I don't like to go do hotel meetings, it's the reason I don't like to do talk to people at the mall moves, or talk to people ... I'm not good at those things. They stress me out. I'm actually not that amazing person to person. I'm fine onstage. It's funny enough, I actually am more relaxed on stage then sometimes one on one. It's not that I don't want to meet people, or that I don't like interviewing people, I do. I love that stuff, it's awesome, but for some reason face to face I don't know what it is, it's my personality. I'm not shy, but I'm more comfortable on stage in front of a ton people than just one on one. Which is interesting, because selling one to many is the whole thing that I teach people how to do at that event. The type of presentation that allows the entrepreneur to do that. All I've done, all I do with my actual down line is I teach them how to sale one to many. How to pitch one to many, how to be prospecting, how to be marketing one to many. Instead of one to one, instead of thinking through the two or three people that you could get into your down lines. Do you know the average person only pulls in like, I heard the stat was like 2.3 people in their whole MLM career ever? Holy smokes. Guys I pulled like 20 people in in my first week. Why ... And I'm not bragging. I am not bragging. I'm just trying to prove to you that what I'm talking about works. Then they all went out and they recruited people. I have no idea how many people are actually in my down line, it's a lot already though. Which is awesome. It's just so cool. Why? One to many. So you got to start thinking through yourself like ... Here's one of the easiest ways to start thinking through a one to many presentation. You've got to include some automation behind it. I'm not telling you to become a tech guru, or tech whiz. Will it help? Sure, because everything is technology now, but you don't need to be. The first time that I ever put a one to many style pitch out there, I didn't realize I was doing it. I stumbled on it. There was a course that I was putting online, and at first I was making people buy it, but I thought like how interesting if I just made this thing for free. What I did is I took these videos ... And I know that some of you guys are from those early days and you've been following me that whole time, and I appreciate it, and that's awesome. What I did though is instead of making them locked, I actually just made them available to everybody. Funny enough, weirdly enough I was testing a few concepts at the time without actually being in MLM at the time. I had left my first one. You could say I was between MLMs, but I was testing some concepts. This was probably three years ago. Yeah, three and a halfish, three years ago, somewhere around there. Anyway, I released them, and I put them out there. What was funny is at first no one saw them, because they were still like a paid thing. I think. It was so long ago, and I've built so many funnels and pages, and lived on the internet so long that I'm trying to get the story straight. Regardless of timeline, all I did is I put these things, I made them public on YouTube instead of hiding them, instead of making them unlisted. What was interesting is how many people on a steady stream started reaching out to me asking to join my down line. I was like fascinating. Oh my gosh it's working. All these people started jumping in, and I ended up joining one. So I guess this is my third one. Interesting. I didn't do anything in that second one. I joined it out of frustration, because so many people were asking me to ... I won't say the name of it, but I joined it out of frustration simply because, my boss was in it, and there were so many people who were asking to be a part of what I was doing. I just needed a place to go, but I got out of it because my heart wasn't in it. Which I do believe does matter to a degree, so I got out of it. Anyway though. That's all I'm trying to say though. Is guys think through the pitch. Think through, what is the stuff that you say to every single person? I know you say the same thing to every single person, which you should, which is great. That's the script. Stick to the script. Understand you deviate very, very slightly if you need to, but how do you make progress if you can't measure it. How can you measure it if it's different every time? It should be the same. You know what I mean? What I did, and what I'm doing right now just so you guys know, is I am furthering my one to many pitch. My one to many pitch. So what I do is when someone wants to join my down line they go through an application process at joinmydownline.com. Which I did a whole episode about that, if you want to hear about it. How I do it, why I did it. Please don't go apply unless you're serious about it. It is an actual live thing. Which it's crazy guys. Get anywhere from one to two people applying a day almost, which is awesome. With no ad spend, nothing else. That's crazy. It's grown all over the place. Again, this is not me beating my chest guys. I just want you to know that gosh it freaking works. You should do it. No one teaches this in MLM. That's the thing that frustrated me so bad. That's why I decided to come back to the industry. I was like are you kidding me? No one told me about this stuff the first time I was going to that first one. Are you kidding? So what I've did, and what I'm doing is I'm creating a one to many pitch. So after somebody applies to join my down line, I'm creating a one to many pitch. Meaning I recorded all of the ones of me doing it live over, and over, and over, and over again, so I know what all the common questions are. I know what the biggest questions are. I know what the biggest concerns are, and I know ... There's an episode I talked about getting fuel for my auto closing script. I think like two or three episodes ago, but this is the evolution of that though. Is selling one to many. What I'm trying to do, I'm trying to hit this topic again because I feel like ... It's always funny for me to see which episodes of these I get a lot of feedback on, and which ones I don't. The ones I don't I'm like, are you kidding that was one of the biggest pieces of gold I could've given you. Please for the love, did you understand that? So I feel like I have to hit it again. But go create a one to many pitch. That is the reason why this thing works the way it does. You don't just create a one to many pitch, or an auto closing script once. You go through it and you refine it, and you refine it, and you refine it. If you've never done the pitch live, or if you've only did it a couple times do not automate it. Okay? It's terrible to automate something that's broken, that wasn't good in the first place. Don't automate crap. Make sure you're automating good things. That's the whole purpose of this guys, and that's what I was telling people at one of the last events I was doing too. It was day number one, I was getting on there, I stood up and said, "Hey look, I want you to understand that what you guys have the opportunity to learn is the opportunity to learn how to sale one to many." Which is very unique, very unique. The easiest way to go about this is to start looking at how you ... Getting fuel for your auto closing script, that episode two or three ago, that was all about getting critiques and responses, and writing down the concerns of all the people who are coming in and telling you no. No or yes, but specifically no. What were all their main concerns? They're giving you a lot of fuel, that's why it's called fuel for the auto closing scripts. But, the other flip side of it, the reason I wanted to bring this up. Which has taken me a while to get to. I'm so sorry, but the reason I bring this up is so that you start paying attention to the things that you're saying over, and over, and over again. The auto closing script is this marriage of both those sides. Both what the market is telling you no over, or yes but mostly no, and then all the things that you're saying over, and over, and over again. It very well may not be related at all to the script that your MLM has given you to say. It may not be related to that. It may not sound like the one I gave you. That's fine. That's fine. Anyway, that's all I've got for you guys. I guess it really wasn't that much of a shorter episode, but that's it. You guys understand it. Start thinking through the things that you're doing over, and over, and over again as far as pitching, and learn how to automate it. Then go ... You could do it with YouTube videos honestly, and just put them out there. Someone who is looking for information on how to get better on their MLM on YouTube, that's the kind of person who's there to be successful. That's the kind of person who's there to be a rock star. They're looking for information. It's a great place to be. Or podcasting, or whatever it is. Whatever you decide to do, but learn how to sale one to many. The secret sauce is there. If you look at the way a lot of the top people in your MLM are number one, I guarantee you there are several of them that are there because they created a one to many pitch, and they sold it from stage. Hey we're going to get it in the order of the people who are ... How shall I say this? Order forms in the back, and you join my down line in the order that we get the order forms in the back. There's a big table rush that happens in the back, and people go running to the back, and they fill out the forms, and they're throwing the forms back because they want to get first, because they know everyone else is going to be below them automatically. That's a one to many pitch. I'm not telling you that you have to go that extreme, but there's some aspect to that that you can pull into your own MLM. All right guys. That's all I got for you. Hope you're doing great. I am refining really phase two/three of my auto closing area. I'm building it as I need it. Just like anything else, so I need it now. All right guys, I'll talk to you later. Bye. Hey thanks for listening. Please remember to subscribe and leave feedback. Would you like me to teach your own down line five simple MLM tricks for free? If so go download your free MLM masters pack by subscribing to this podcast at secretmlmhacksradio.com.

Christmas Shopping for a Large Family FROM WENDY: This post should actually probably be called NOT shopping for a large family... We are pretty minimalist when it comes to Christmas, or even when it comes to toys in general. We have several bodies in our not-super-large home, and there is not a lot of room for stuff! At some point pretty early on, I made the "we will only have as many toys as will fit in these cubbies" rule, and established regular toy-purging times in our year to ensure that things stay pared down to non-crazy levels. A few years ago, we came home from Christmas with an overwhelming van-full of gifts from generous friends and family. A friend gave us this great idea to only let the kids unpackage one new item a day so that they would actually spend time playing with and getting to appreciate each one. This was an awesome solution to  the kids having so many toys that they didn't actually have any idea what all they got. The kids each opened one new thing each day...for nearly a full month! That's a lot of stuff! And while it was fun and exciting for that month, after the newness faded, it was just that...stuff. Filling up every corner of our house. And eventually making it's way to a donation bag. Since then, we've made an express effort to approach Christmas with a much more minimalist mindset, and have sought to make Christmas in our home more about the experiences we can share and the memories we can make. We don't buy our kids gifts One of our very favorite traditions is our homemade gift exchange. We don't purchase toys for our kids, but instead the kids make gifts for each other. We do it Secret Santa style, drawing names usually a day or two after Thanksgiving. I sit down with each of the kiddos and brainstorm some ideas of gifts that 1) they think their sibling would enjoy, and 2) they would be able to make or help make. At this point, our kids are still pretty young, so we keep the projects relatively simple, such as adding stickers to decorate a bin for special Legos, or painting modpodge over cutout paper to turn a pie plate into a Captain America shield. They get an immense amount of joy out of the process of choosing and creating a gift, and keeping it a surprise until Christmas. And as parent, I love so much that the anticipation of the season is revolving around what they are giving rather than what they are hoping to get. Here are some more of the homemade gifts we've done in the past: 1.  Paint Your Own Ceramic Tea Set - brother painted the teapot for sister and gave her paints so she could decorate the cups and plates 2. Baby Doll Moby Wrap - big sister sewed a straight line attaching two pieces of fabric  to make a long wrap for little sister to carry her baby dolls 3. Homemade Playdough with Toys - big sister helped me make batches of different colored playdough to give with a new set of playdough toys 4. Earring Holder - brother helped me remove the glass from a 5x7 picture frame and replace it with burlap, then decorate with gems and ribbon to make an earring holder for big sister Focus on Experiences With our friends and family, we endeavor to focus on experiences together for the holidays rather than gifts. We would so much rather fill our lives with great memories of times that we've spent with people we love than fill our house! Wherever possible, we look for ways to invite others along with us on an adventure as a substitution for a gift exchange. We've done big adventures, like Disneyland and snow trips. We've also done small adventures, like planning games and projects for the kids to do together during the time they would otherwise have been opening presents. These have been some of our favorite Christmases, and at the end of the day, not one of the kids seemed to notice that there wasn't a huge pile of toys coming home with us. We recognize that our approach to gift-giving with our kids is unique, and not everyone feels the need to treat Christmas the same way we do. Some people really enjoy choosing the perfect gift, and seeing the kids light up when they open a favorite item. We are not trying to steal that joy from anyone, or force other families into our crazy-minimalist-large-family (is that a thing?) way of doing things. When everyone else in the family/play-group/etc. is really wanting to do gifts, it helps to meet in the middle. Suggest a more minimal gift-giving strategy, such as Secret Santa or White Elephant exchange, so that each person is only buying and receiving one thing. Set low dollar amounts and establish themes for gifts (homemade items, books, games, etc.) so that the experience, not the gift, becomes the focus. Remember that the goal is not abolishing gifts, or even cutting costs, but rather creating memories and cultivating in our kids a different mentality about Christmas. When you need a list As I said before, sometimes you do need a list for that grandparentperson who really enjoys shopping for the kids. (In all fairness, I most certainly will be that grandparent some day!) When that is the case, there are definitely some toys that will make the list, and others that I know would not be a good fit in the minimal storage space we have. While I know my son would love one of those glorious three-foot-tall Paw Patrol lookout playsets with all the vehicles and characters, I also know that finding a place for that in our playroom would cause me a ridiculous amount of grief. So here are some things that make the cut when the kids ask to put them on their Christmas list:  Building sets such as Legos, duplo, foam blocks, magnatiles, etc. These kinds of toys get played with more than anything else in our house. And not just by the boys. The reason is  that they are multi-functional...a set of foam blocks just as easily can become a castle for some princess figures as it can become a garage for the matchbox cars. Toys that provide for open-ended, creative play are always a win. Pretend play items such as play food, dishes, and a cash register. Along the same lines as the building sets...these toys stick around because of the type of elaborate creative play they inspire. Maybe it's because we have a lot of girls, but our kids will spend hours playing bake shop, restaurant, grocery store...the cash register has even become a library kiosk. Throw in some play dough, and my kiddos are happily baking and selling cakes all day. Dolls or action figures (Paw Patrols and princesses are our current favorites). More creative or dramatic play. But be careful with this one...getting the figures is not the same as getting the gigantic playsets. Hobby-related items, such as sports equipment or musical instruments, or educational items like books, puzzles, and board games. JAMIN RESPONDS: You cheated by writing this after we recorded the podcast and YouTube episodes.  Still, those homemade gifts the kids give each other are so fantastic, and to watch them get excited about what they're going to give is the most wholesome sight in the world! FROM JAMIN: tldr: Shop for events, not stuff. One toy comes in, one toy goes out. I've already expressed my views on gifts and traditions, so I won't belabor that here. This is a different rant. We don't have a lot of money, so by having six kids we made a conscious choice with real-world consequences. Each additional child we have takes something away from the older siblings, and from the two of us, not just in time and effort, but in money: even with good money management, We're not going to Hawaii any time soon. We aren't taking the family out to eat at a real restaurant. We aren't able to save or donate as much as we would like, and we won't be paying for our kids' college tuition (hopefully that idiotic institution will have finally died by then anyway!). I could have a lot more great stuff in my life if I didn't have so many kids! But there is nothing that I could buy with my money that would bring me greater fulfillment and joy than the measly little 1/4 million dollars each of them will drain from my accounts before they move out. And there is no institution I can start or cause I can support that will be more likely to bring good into the world than shepherding six new healthy families. These are real people that I can really affect; 100% of my donation goes directly to the families with no overhead or administrative costs. So we've definitely chosen more family over more stuff. "Minimalist" might be an overstatement (understatement? ...we have lots of stuff by any world standard), but I would gladly trade more stuff for more time or more family, when given the clear choice. Christmas brings that into sharp focus: I don't want more stuff. Additionally, I'm starved for time. Today is the youngest my kids will ever be. And I'm dying any day now. I need time. If I've got $50 to spend on fun for the kids, I'd rather use it to hire someone to clean the house or mow the lawn so I can spend that time playing checkers with the kids. Or jumping on the trampoline. Or baking cookies. Experiences are valuable. Stuff is crap, and we have too much of it already. We need to send one toy out of the house for each one that comes in - if the new toy isn't better than the worst toy we already have, why is it coming into the house? That's the reason I hate toys for the kids. Unless the gift is an experience, it's going to take away from the humanity of the family instead of adding to it. If it will create a memory or bond us together, great! If it will help us mentally rank ourselves higher than someone else, giving us a new echelon of peers to try to compete with, it's making us worse people. And it's likely going to end up at Goodwill anyway, but only after it's brought us some joy, followed by enough frustration that we're willing to give it away for free to get the nuisance out of our lives. So what should we invest in for the kids? Memberships, shows, gas money/trips, time off work, outsourcing work, games, experiences. Or the same for others: If we pay for a babysitter for some of the kids, could we do something special with the others? If we buy a ticket for a friend, could they join us at a place we already have memberships? How can we increase the amount or degree of relationship and human connectivity in our lives? That's where I want to spend my money. Don't get me wrong...I still hate strangers and I don't want to be in any social situation that has prescribed rituals or ceremony for the sake of tradition, but being real with other humans is all we have for this wisp of a breath on the planet. Everything else is just costumes and make-believe. WENDY RESPONDS: I thought the reason we didn't go to restaurants was that toddlers in restaurants are terrifying and stressful. Your opinions are pretty clear here, and I agree with them...but I don't feel like you're offering much practical help. Wasn't this supposed to be a shopping guide? However, I do really love the idea of hiring someone else to clean the house while I go jump on the trampoline with the kids...I'll be using that one. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2eKz6iXUGA

Christmas Gifts and A Gift Guide for Him Click here to download the free Gift Guide for Him worksheet FROM WENDY: Full Disclosure: I Don't Buy My Husband Christmas Gifts Jamin is a super non-traditionalist (is that a word?) and does not like doing things that people do just because it's what we do. That includes gift-giving on particular days. This is why the kids and I are banned from making or buying any gifts for Papa for Christmas, Father's Day, his birthday...you get the idea. The kids are still figuring this out, and are more than a little confused as to why he wouldn't want something special for Christmas. They'll get there. Maybe. What is allowed are random "just because I love you and was thinking about you" surprises. (Don't tell Jamin, but I have had a kid get a present for Papa around his birthday because they really really wanted to, and then just save it for a different day. Some kids are just really into giving birthday gifts.) So I guess you could call this a Random I Love You Day Gift Guide. Either way, having limited experience in this field, I'm not going to be super helpful, but I do have a couple rules I stick to when deciding if a certain surprise will make a good gift. Rule One: Anything the kids make or think up themselves is a win. A painted coffee mug that says, "I love Papa" will get used way more often than the Mickey Mouse mug we got in Disneyland. Rule Two: Note things he typically spends extra time or money on. We often pick up Cherry Nibs when we're at the one store that sells them because it's Papa's favorite. I also will watch for deals on tickets for events that Jamin could take one or more of the kids to, since he likes to spend his free time on adventures with the family. Rule Three: I don't have a rule three. Seriously, two rules is all I got. Jamin's gonna be way more help in this department ;-) JAMIN RESPONDS: Beware the mug idea!  I like mugs.  I don't want to have to use a lame one.  December 10th, 2008 you gave me NBA 2k09. Total surprise.  Still remember it.  That was the best.  Actually, I probably have the year and the game wrong, but it was the first time I remember you having the guts to not give me a gift on a holiday.  I knew we would be together forever.  Seriously, though - it does a lot for our relationship that you're willing to love me in the way I best receive it instead of the way you think would be safest or most convenient. FROM JAMIN: tldr: Gift Guide for Him? c'mon...you already know...amirite? For me? Nothing. I don't ever want a present on a holiday. Never give me something when the calendar says it's time to give me something. Not Father's Day or my birthday or Christmas or anything. Or at least put in the card, "I wouldn't have gotten you something, but I knew I'd feel guilty if I didn't, so this gift is really a gift to myself. Thanks for helping with my conscience." Then I'll take whatever you want to buy me, but we agree on what's happening here. The only exception is earned events like graduation or unexpected events, like the passing of a loved one. But even then, don't bring it to the funeral/wake or the graduation party. Give it to me before or after...LONG before or after. But I do love gifts any other time of year! And, as you might imagine, I have strong feelings about what kinds of gifts are good. Too many gifts cost me more than they benefit me. Here are my guidelines for giving gifts to a heartless scrooge like me: *Don't spend my money without my input We've been poor. We're still not out of the woods, and some months are downright scary. I imagine if we made a whole lot more money, I wouldn't mind it if my wife bought me a car or a computer or a phone. But not now. As long as we need regular conversations about which bills we're paying when, don't burden me with a thoughtful spending spree that is going to stress me out later. Unless it's money that you saved up secretly, and even then, I might end up being upset that you let us limp along when you had a secret stash this whole time. *Don't try to get me something I'd really like by getting me something from my hobbies/profession that you don't know anything about. And don't get advice from your friends. The fact that your friend's husband also has the same hobby, and he really liked this version of this thing doesn't mean you have insider information about my hobby. If you're not sure it's a winner on your own authority, it's a real gamble whether I'm going to love it or hate it. It doesn't make me feel closer to you that you tried and failed to get me something from a domain you don't know anything about, and now I have to try not to resent you every time I have to use your gift even though I really don't want one in my life. If you really liked my hobbies, you would do them. So it doesn't make me feel like you're more 'involved' with my life that you recognized I have a hobby and you found something related to it, any more than if I bought a tall guy a basketball or a black guy a rap album or a woman some tampons. See? I noticed something obvious about you and bought you an unusable related gift! Now use it and love me. *Don't 'personalize' something for me that I'm supposed to use. They are almost always crappy versions of the thing, so now I am obligated to use an inferior [coffee mug, hammer, guitar pick, whatever because you personalized it. Hopefully it will break soon so I'll have a good excuse to use a quality version of that thing. *Don't make me pay for it in other ways If you're going to fold my laundry for a month, don't neglect cleaning the kitchen (or whatever responsibilities were in your domain). Don't cook me a meal and leave the dishes out. Don't stay up so late working on a gift for me that you're too tired to fool around. Okay, now to the actual list. If I've already hinted at something I like, forget the following list. Get me that. If I said that I wanted something and you're the kind of person who paid attention and got if for me, forget the following list. You already won. Just don't pin your hopes on me. If it was an off-handed remark about something that I don't even remember wanting, don't put that on me. Otherwise, pick one of the following things or give me the choice of one of a few things you'd like to give me... Budgeted Hobbies ...and tell me where we're making room in the budget. With this gift, I can do the stuff I want to without feeling guilty about taking the money out of the budget: *Golf - golf is stupid. I hate golf. But for my friends who like it, some kind of membership or passes would be great. *Indoor soccer membership or passes. Now here's an actual sport. That's probably why it's fun and not stupid like golf. *Shooting range. Ammo and range certificates. Except I am really set on ammo at the moment... *Flying lessons so I can finish my pilot's license. Better versions or more of what I already use ...or new ones if mine are worn out. If I already use it and don't have a better one, it's because I was saving that money for the family. Upgrade something I use all the time and I'll think of you every time I use it. This is the safest gift, and maybe the best: *Phone. I'm still on 5th gen iPhone. Hopefully not by the time you read this. *Upgraded Audible account. I'd love to get an extra audiobook or two each month. *48-pack of zero calorie Rock Stars. I usually only drink them occasionally, but now I can have one whenever I want, guilt-free. Plus, I'll probably have more energy to wash the dishes faster. *Check my Amazon wish list and "saved for later" in my cart. *In-app purchases. I could use more keys in Rocket League to open the crates we earn when we play. *Collector's boxed set of Newsradio, the best show ever made, would also be an upgrade of what I have. I just don't know where I would play a DVD. But for a lot of guys, the upgraded version of their favorite media would be super cool. *Hobby-related apparel.  Usually shoes would be too utilitarian to be an exciting gift, but when my indoor soccer shoes are worn down, new ones would be really cool. Just be careful in case I was planning to get a different kind when these finally really died. Tools I don't want these since I already have them, but they were the best tools for the money: *Impact driver. No! This is definitely not the same as a powered screwdriver or a drill. The "impact" part makes it so a noodle-armed guy like me can drive a 5-inch screw through a board in seconds. I feel very strong with this tool. I only recently broke down and bought this with the studio remodel and realized that all the years I spent with a regular, cheaper drill were wasted years of my life. *Pokey tools. I don't know what they are supposed to be used for, but these are the most used tools in the tool box. They get used almost daily for all kinds of jobs! (I just learned their official name is "picks" and "hooks", but "pokey tools" seems just as good a name to me.) *Magnetic stud finder. The yellow one with the earth magnets. Long story short: regular stud finders try to find dense parts of the wall that probably have studs. This finds the screws or nails that were used to hang the drywall on the studs, so you know there is definitely a stud right there. Artsy. If you wanna go homemade: *Planned 'relations'. Just please don't make me turn in cute cards or ask for stuff. Just tell me that you've got stuff planned then go for it. *Anything the kids made, as long as you didn't tell them to make it or what to write. One of my favorite cards is from my daughter that says, "I love you! You are the best Papa ever and every day your learning to be better and better."  I loved it so much I didn't even fix the misuse of 'your'. *Anything related to family day. This is where the other rules don't apply. A sucky home-made bag is more than a sucky homemade bag when it's the family day picnic bag. A terrible personalized mug is use-able if it's just the one I use when I take the kids on Papa Days. WENDY RESPONDS: Well, I know what I'm doing on January 23rd. Seriously, this is a great guide, and not just for husbands! I think these are probably pretty solid gift-giving guidelines for any of the difficult-to-shop-for people on the list. So, thanks for helping me with my Christmas gift planning :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztTZFSRFHjg

If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: the new Nexus phone from Google is pretty nice.

We all have them, and we use them daily; our deeply ingrained, self-defeating mechanisms for keeping us small and suffering. In this episode I share with you EXACTLY how I identified and what I did to release a mechanism I like to call, "The Party Pooper".  This mechanism keeps me from experiencing joy for too long. If I've had a few really amazing days, this mechanism kicks on in FULL FORCE to make me physically, mentally & emotionally turn into a nasty, judgemental, insecure version of myself. YECK!  I share with you the steps I took to make this mechanism stop, and how I will continue to release this mechanism when it kicks on again int the (likely near) future.  This episode is brought to you by SoulfulSisterhood.com; the global community of women supporting women to RISE UP and be the best, most real, most authentic versions of themselves. Join this tribe of amazing women for only $10/month at www.soulfulsisterhood.com

Welcome to Financial Investing Radio, where you'll learn the secrets for consistent, high probability returns in the financial markets for additional income to change your life. Grant creates consistent, high probability trading systems for the financial markets and has applied them over the past five years. He's only recently started sharing these tried and true market secrets. As a gift to listeners, Grant is offering his high probability indicators for free. Go to financialinvestingradio.com and download yours today. Now here's your host and trading veteran, Grant Larsen. Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Financial Investing Radio. My name is Grant. Hey, on a previous podcast I had mentioned the term reversion to mean or mean reversion. Now one of my listeners commented on that asking for more information, so let me start with that. I thought I'd spend some time there, make sure we're all in the same playing field. Mean reversion is the theory that suggests that price will move back or eventually move back towards the average, all right? This mean can be the historical average of market price. We'll talk about the probabilities of that and so forth. Sort of thinking back, as we were raising our children, near our home there was a place filled trampolines. I think it was called Jump Street. Our kids loved jumping on the trampolines there. They had some trampolines that were horizontal. They even had some that were at an angle. They were up against the wall so you could run up to them and bounce in it. I'd throw you back to the horizontal ones. It's kind of like the markets, these trampolines, right? For example, when we bounce on a trampoline, we go below the static surface of the trampoline, and we propel up. Likewise, as we reach the apex, we fall back down. In the market though, prices don't always revert to the mean, but there is very often mean reversion, so a very key skill about mean reversion is to know how to spot those opportunities. That's because market prices go sideways at least half the time, but the real question is what does it mean in order to have mean reversion? In other words, it's the average of what? Like, over what period of time? I spent some time working through that trying to figure out, you know, do I do this on a five minute chart? Is it on a weekly chart? Is it a monthly? I mean, what's the average that you pick that's going to be most meaningful? Some of that has to do with what kind of investor or a trader we are, but I ran into something that was a huge impact to my trading, and that was to use something called channels, and to use channels in a way that helped me to spot those opportunities of mean regression, so let me explain it this way. A few years ago, we were in the mountains, it was in the summertime, and we were at one of the ski resorts. I don't remember the name of it, but it had something called an Alpine Slide. It's kind of like a bog sled channel where you sit on a sled. There's of course no snow because it's during the summer. You're in a slide or you're basically in a channel. It has sides that come up on the left and the right-hand side. It's open above so that you can see the sky and whatnot, but nevertheless you're in this channel. On the Alpine Slide there's a few things of course you want to know, right? You've obviously got a brake handle. That will help slow you down. As you go down the side of the mountain in this channel, you hit one side of the channel and it knocks you back to the center. Then you hit the other side and again it knocks you back to the center. The market prices, or I'll refer to that as price action, is a lot this way. There's a channel of price movement and what varies is the steepness or the grade of the channel. Now on the Alpine Slide, you would never want to break out of that channel for obvious reasons, right? You could certainly get hurt, but in the market it does this all the time, all right? A price comes along, bouncing along a channel, and then wow, pam. It shoots out of the channel for a bit, and sometimes it returns and comes back into it. Channels on charts is a personal favorite of mine. It takes some practice, but it builds on your experience with drawing trend lines. I'm sure you've already been drawing trend lines, right? As you know, when you draw a trend line, you're looking to connect two places where a price has turned around and gone the other direction. Lots of times we call these pivots, right? Let's say the price was coming down, then went back up, and then later it came down maybe a little bit further and went back up. Those two points where it turns around, each of those points are called pivots. When we draw trend lines, we draw those along those pivot points, right? We touch, we connect the dots, something we did as kids in the coloring books. Well, we do the same thing with channels, so we draw the channel lines that connect the pivots, and we only need two pivots on one side, and one pivot on the other side. Let's say that the channel is going down. Then I want to draw two pivots at the top first, and then I come down to a lower pivot where prices come down and headed back up. I connect the bottom part to that. Then what you start watching for is how the price action behaves within that range, within that channel, all right? Thinking back to this Alpine Slide, we can think of a downward channel on a chart. It's kind of like an Alpine Slide, right? Within that downward channel, price goes down for a bit, and then it actually hits the bottom of the channel and then bounces up, and goes all the way across the channel. Then it gets up to the top of the channel or somewhere near it, and then it turns around and reverts back to the center of the channel. This kind of reversion is more common, the reversion to mean within a channel. It doesn't necessarily mean that prices are going sideways, although that is certainly one kind of channel, no doubt about that, but more importantly it's to identify the channel, the steepness of it. It may be flat, but the steepness or the direction or the angle of the channel can be up, down, sideways. Before we go further, I'd invite you to make sure you practice applying this on your charts. Understanding the range of motion for a particular instrument that you're investing in, in trading is critical. That helps you understand opportunities, you know? If I've got a good opportunity or maybe a not so good opportunity, it's about the location and channels help us to do this, and knowing that when it hits the edges of the channel, then it has some higher probabilities that it will revert or go back to the mean, meaning to the center of the channel itself. Okay, now I want to share a few secrets with you that I've learned about channels and how they've really impacted my trading. I don't invest in trade without them, or to say it the other way, I always invest in trade with channels up, all right? I have a couple of charts and one of those definitely shows what's the current channel that the market's in or does it look like it's breaking out of this channel, and now it's going to create a new channel and go a different direction, but it's critical to know that. Okay, here's three secrets. Number one, one of the highest probability moves of price is near the third point on a channel. What does that mean? Draw some channels and test it out yourself, but let me see if I can draw a picture in your mind, all right? Let's say that we have the channel that's moving down, kind of like this Alpine Slide, right? The Alpine Slide has got edges on both side. The price is going down, but it's bouncing back and forth. To draw the channel we start with the two pivot points on the top where price has turned down, and we draw the top part of the channel. Now we look for one or two lower pivot points to draw on the bottom part of the channel. Let's say that the price has just hit the bottom part of the channel. We just drew it down there. It's now moving up across the middle of the channel, and it's reaching the top of the channel now. When it touches, that will be the third touch at the top of the channel, all right? That third touch is one of the highest probabilities that it will revert to the mean and go back to the center of the channel. Let me say it again. When price comes up and touches either the top or the bottom of the channel, depending on each direction the channel is going, when it does that third touch, you be prepared for a higher probability entry to go the opposite direction, so even if you're trading on a daily basis, some stocks or some options, and you've got your channel set up, and it comes across and it touches that for the third time, you know you've got an opportunity that has much higher probability with you. That is reversion to mean. That is the most common reversion to mean that I've seen and this first secret is that if it's the third touch on the edge of the channel, you have the highest probability that it reverts to the mean. Okay, here's secret number two. The steeper the channel, the more likely the price action will move out of the channel, all right? If the channel direction is largely sideways, what I found is you can get four or five or six touches on each side of the channel. The more touches that there are, then the lower the probability of reversion because it keeps testing a particular area and finally it says, "Okay. I'm done testing this area. We're going to move past this now." The buyers and the sellers sort of wear out at the prices at that level, but when the channel is very steep, there's a much higher probability that price will break out earlier out of the channel. Think back to the Alpine Slide. Let me say it this way. If the mountain is very steep and you're going fast around a corner, and that corner represents the edge of the channel, the probability is much higher that you'll fly out of the Alpine Slide. In this case, you'll fly out of the channel. That's all we're saying here, okay? If it's really steep, if price is going down really fast over a short period of time, still bouncing back and forth within a channel, but if it's really steep and going fast, then it seems to take fewer touches on each side of the channel before it breaks out, and gets out of that channel and may ultimately go another direction, so in making investment decisions, be aware of the grade or the steepness of the channel. The steeper it is, again, the chance is for fewer touches, whereas the more sideways it is, there's a bigger chance that it will bounce back and forth for a little bit longer period of time. Okay, secret number three. When price breaks out of the channel, because price always eventually breaks out of a channel ... No channel is forever, all right? When it breaks out of the channel, it actually provides another opportunity to invest and maybe it might not be thinking in a way that you're thinking. Here's a scenario, okay? Let's go back to the Alpine Slide. You're going down the Alpine Slide. You go too fast and you shoot out of the channel, and you fly out of it. Let's say you don't get hurt, so what do you do? Do you walk down? Maybe. I suppose you might, but aside from all the other safety considerations, you get back in the Alpine Slide and you keep going. The market does that a lot. To say it another way, when price jumps out of the channel in the market, look for opportunities at support or resistant slides outside of the channel that will cause it to turn around, and come back to the edge of the channel. If that last part wasn't clear, I can cover that more at another time, so let me know because I've just said a lot right there that is actually very critical to investing in trading strategy. If you have your channel set up and price breaks out of it, and it moves away from the channel pretty quickly, there is high probability that it will actually come back and touch the edge of that channel again. That gives you opportunities for reinvesting or for buying or for shorting, depending on what your investing strategy is. Those three key secrets, don't forget. The first one is one of the highest probability moves is near the third touch on the edge of a channel. That is a high probability move that it's going back into the center, meaning mean reversion of the channel. That's secret number one. Secret number two, the steeper the channel, the more likely the price is going to jump out of the channel earlier with fewer touches, so be aware of the angle of the channel. Secret number three, when it breaks out, it provides an opportunity to invest. It generally comes out, and then turn around and comes back, and touches the edge of that channel where it came out of. Okay, so price action spends the majority of its time moving in a channel, whether it's trending market or a sideways market, so always, always be looking for the channel and you looking for the reversion to mean. That will make a big, significant difference to your trading. It really impacted my investing strategy when I discovered that channels are a fundamental part of this and they appear at multiple levels. They appear at very small timeframes. They appear, of course, at large timeframes. So it's worth your investing strategy to take some time to get to know it and understand what the mean to reversion is. It tends to work best to look for mean reversion across channels, all right? Give it a try. Draw some channels on whatever timeframe you're using, and look how that can benefit your investing strategy. Okay, that's it for now. Thanks for joining. I look forward to a feedback and future podcasts with you. My name is Grant. Until next time, trade with your channels. Thank you for joining Grant on Financial Investing Radio. Remember to subscribe and leave feedback. Don't forget to download your free high probability indicators before your next trade. Visit financialinvestingradio.com now.

Does God really care about me? If I've been baptized, I'm saved, right? Isn't Christianity a white man's religion? Youth ask hard questions, and kids in inner-city neighborhoods are no exception. Joel and Blake talk through some of the hardest questions they get from their students, how they respond, and what they've learned about the questions behind the questions.

If I've been on a steady caloric deficit for 8 months, how can I break the plateau? ✔ 4:56 Is whole grain spelt flour Live Lean approved? ✔ 7:59 What supplements do you recommend for joint health? ✔ 12:24 What do you think of low fat chocolate milk post workout? ✔ 15:20 How did you start working with MyProtein? ✔ 18:34 Should I set short-term goals until I reach my big goal? ✔ 23:07 I workout at 5 am, can I do IF and break the fast without eating? ✔ 25:06 What is the safest way to show a 6 pack without losing too much weight? ✔ 28:53 How do I measure my food? ✔ 32:11 Have you ever measured your arms?

Gordano! Oi! You! Get the hump out of my garden! I don't care if you're from the council, you shouldn't be doing that. It's not right. I couldn't give a monkeys if it's tradition. If I've told you once, I've told you a million billion times, those Fuchsias are not for you to weave into pants. If you need something to mask your indecency in public then might I suggest this Sorry Not in Service podcast. It's got great big tales of William's trips to the coast that will act as a gusset, it's got super soft information about spider management that is kind to your skin, and a wonderfully absorbent re-enactment of the battle of Agincourt that will cover up your inevitable mis-haps. Pop it on and know me better man. If you'd prefer some larger, more unwieldy audio underwear then go to mixcloud.com to listen to the show with all the pop music on it. Or go to sorrynotinservice.com to download some full length long-johns. Gordano!

Kat Cunning is a star! There...I said it. Now catch up. Actor. Singer. Dancer. Photographer. If I've left out anything, it's only because there's nothing she can't do. Kat deftly moves from strength to strength in everything she touches. Transcendent as the Fairy Godmother in Company XIV's Baroque-Burlesque interpretation of Cinderella. Rapturous at a sold-out Joe's Pub performance in December 2015. The new year ushers in even more abundance of riches with Kat's leap to Broadway in Cirque de Soleil's Paramour as the lead actress' understudy in addition to her own character, Lila. The Portland native will also release her debut album of original material this year. Kat Cunning will own 2016! Visit Kat Cunning online:                                                       http://www.katcunning.com/   Talk Music Talk Playlist/063: Bowie TributeAt the release of this week's TMT podcast, it will be less than 24 hours of hearing of David Bowie's passing. I've been a lifelong fan since I first bought his live album, Stage, on double- vinyl at my local library for 50 cents. It's a cliche to say it changed my life, but I had never heard music that was so strange, so beautiful and gave me something new to discover every time I listened to those four sides. This week's Spotify playlist is my tribute to the brilliance of David Bowie with some of my favorite music he left for the world. Rest in Peace Starman. https://open.spotify.com/user/therattlecat/playlist/0utnkZtkpfR6NhRSBEPnea   Follow me on Instagram:                                                                https://instagram.com/thisisboice/   Subscribe to TMT on iTunes: http://bit.ly/TalkMusicTalk Or Stitcher Radio: http://bit.ly/TMTStitcher Or TuneIn Radio: http://bit.ly/TMTtunein If you enjoy the podcast, please take a moment to leave a review and/or rating.It Reviews and ratings help to improve TMT rankings and spread the word. Thanks!   "Liz (The Talk Music Talk Theme)"-FULL VERSION Written and Composed on an iPad by boice. https://soundcloud.com/thisisboice/liz-talk-music-talk-theme

Gordano! If I've told you once, then I've told you a million billion quadrillion times - You look rough this morning your honour. Now, here's the thing: Due to forces beyond our control (not the police force*) this show, broadcast on the 16th October 2015, has a slightly wonkier than normal feel to it as William was not in the studio but on the other end of a telephone line. A telephone line that played merry hell with the audio output. Unperturbed, we ploughed on, reasoning that the majority of the content we throw your way is of such a poor quality anyway that the migraine inducing buzzing, clicking and volume inconsistencies really wouldn't make things too much worse. To hear the version with the music on it (innit) then go to mixcloud.com. And don't forget to register your delight at the news that Bobby Ball is to be the new Prime Minister of Equatorial Guinea at www.sorrynotinservice.com Gordano! * Old Trev & Simon joke (ask your parents)

Today we discuss experiences in ownership.   My invitation at the beginning was to be a learning organism. See yourself as a sponge whose constantly in a state of learning. I am deeply grateful for the teachers I've had. If I've done reasonably well, it’s because I've had fantastic teachers: My father, my grandfather, Warren Buffett, John Templeton and Ben Graham are my primary constellation of professors. They’re marvelous—particularly Ben Graham who was the philosophical father of Warren Buffett. They knew each other from Columbia University and worked together at Graham Newman for a short time. A lot of what Ben Graham taught also comes through Buffett and the Berkshire letters.    What I thought I'd do today is walk through my 3 principles to being a good investor (ownership, don't lose and patience). I’d walk through experiences that either I violated those principles and paid a price, or didn’t but somebody else did.   All that grounds the thought into experience. As you ground the thought into experience, it becomes more integrated into your being. You begin to make better decisions because you get it. It’s like tying a shoe versus watching someone else tie a shoe. Doing it yourself is a different experience.       IWDP07

"If I've learned anything from Pulp Fiction. it's that: rich people like to do drugs." This week Jordan and Pierce discuss the next movie in their "Netflixed" queue: "Requiem for a Dream". Start - 18:15 - A mostly spoiler-free discussion of Requiem for a Dream. 18:15 - 30:59 - Did you enjoy Requiem for a Dream? Here are some suggestions of other flicks you might like. 30:59 - 47:25 - A spoiler-filled discussion of Requiem for a Dream. 47:25 - End - A preview of the next movie in our Netflixed queue.

"If I've learned anything from Pulp Fiction. it's that: rich people like to do drugs." This week Jordan and Pierce discuss the next movie in their "Netflixed" queue: "Requiem for a Dream". Start - 18:15 - A mostly spoiler-free discussion of Requiem for a Dream. 18:15 - 30:59 - Did you enjoy Requiem for a Dream? Here are some suggestions of other flicks you might like. 30:59 - 47:25 - A spoiler-filled discussion of Requiem for a Dream. 47:25 - End - A preview of the next movie in our Netflixed queue.

This is the first episode of 2013 for The Business of Freelancing Podcast, and inside I cover everything you need to know about dealing with those pesky clients who want to know "How much is it gonna cost me?" We explore how to qualify new leads, offer an initial consult, and how to make it known that we're consultants — not just guns for hire.Here's the letter that John wrote me that prompted this episode:Biggest fear with new client? Pricing, definitely. What's their budget, when it's near impossible to drag it out of them? Will a standard quote, without knowing their details, turn them away without discussion or negotiation, before budgets or even depth of project is really known. It's amazing how many times an initial contact requires blind quotes before required info can be determined. If I've at all described the situation, besides abandoning such clients, what to do? 

DEBUT: From Across the Pondcast - Volume 1Moments throughout history can be generally summarized into three categories: significant, unmemorable, and detrimental. What you are about to hear can only be considered a part of the latter. I've decided to disgrace the art of DJ'ing with my own venture into the podcasting realm to share some of, what a great man once called, 'my moments, other people's art'.Still working out the kinks as to how best to distribute it, but hopefully the player below works. Also, you can subscribe to the podcast using 'SUBSCRIBE TO' (on the right). If I've done things correctly, you should eventually be able to find it on iTunes as well. Let me know if it's inaccessible and I'll try to keep sorting it out.Playlist:1. Lost In Music - Sister Sledge - We Are Family2. Guys Eyes - Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavilion3. Devil's Trident - Telepathe - Dance Mother4. Magic - Ladyhawke - Ladyhawke5. Daylight (mashup with Daylight Outro Mix) - Matt & Kim - Grand6. Lovesick - Friendly Fires - Friendly Fires7. Strange Overtones - Brian Eno & David Byrne - Everything That Happens Will Happen Today8. Blood Bank - Bon Iver - Blood Bank EP9. Not A Robot, But A Ghost - Andrew Bird - Noble Beast10. Venice - Beirut - March Of The Zapotec & Realpeople - HollandAlso, the blog is new and still a work in progress. Check back for updates...

I preached this sermon on Sunday, February 25 2007 at Shepherd of the Hills College/Young Adult Service, "The Vine" (www.vineonline.org). The question in this sermon is "If I've already messed up, where do I go from here?"