Podcasts about oh ok

Thank you for listening to our unhinged ramblings during the 24/25 season. The QPR NYC podcast will be on gardening leave for a little while but will be back ahead of the new season, and maybe pop up depending on the comings and goings at QPR, possibly an interview, maybe a guest or two. Stay tuned! Whatever we do, if you follow we will appear in your feed when it happens.Anyway, what is there to talk about when the season is over? Andy, Ant and Dun wade through the following:- Kelman watch - 2 more goals, although one was 'slightly' offside. Leyton Orient go into the second leg with a chance. Can Charlie reach 30 goals for the season? He's on 27. Just how much is he worth now?- Contract news: Varane and Cook signed up, Frey and Smyth to follow. Jimmy not yet Dunne. Will he be right back?- No News is No News. Marti still spending time in the garden- Dun digs deep to reveal QPR's Gardening XI - Who lines up for Queens Park Hydrangers?- Good luck Development Squad vs Brentford in the Premier League Cup final on the 15th May at Loftus Road!- Jimmy Dunne cleans up in the QPR end of season awards. Smythy's goal is goal of the season. - But who will win the most important awards of the season? - Introducing the inaugural QPR NYC The Podcast Alternative end of season awards 24/25, presented by Conan O' Brien...Oh OK, It's actually Andy...- There's the standards. Player of the season, Goal of the season etc...- Never fall in love with a loan player? Well we also never Fall In Love With A Trialist. Who did you forget to remember was a lad in the squad?- Who is the QPR man of the year off the pitch and what was the MVT (Most valuable thing)? Who do you really want to see back next season?- What was the GTFI and FFS moments of the season? And what was the turning point?- Who won Great Expectations award and who will suffer Greater Expectations next season?- Who's won the Art of the Deal award brought to you in association with Kool Aid?- What was the QPR NYC moment of the year and who does Dun think is is Terrible? - Who had great banter and what was the loveliest of lovely stuff?- Which Ex-QPR player is most likely to appear on the podcast?- Who is our new feeder club? Who has Karma bitten on the backside? - Who wins at New Yorking and who is the most devious b*stard in town? Who is manifesting democracy the most?- Who is the most remembered lad? Who achieved the most at QPR NYC? and who was our best pod guest?-and of course, who was our band of the year (and will you be able to see them live?)- In other business...- If you know Seinfeld, then you'll know George Costanza. QPR NYC The Podcast introduces a brand new literary feature: Ja Cob'stanzas- Blighty Bulletin. Andy keeps us a breast of inflation issues within the Green Party.- Last lovely stuff of the seasonRate, review, comment, throw some stars at us. 5 would be lovely if you so feel inclined.YOU R'sssssssss

OH Ok. Now it's Glitter. Last week I bumbled and jumbled and got a little confused, but I've had a good night's sleep and now, friends and dreamers, this week it's GLITTER. Take a stardustified ride with Hope and Emily and see what they do with this week's prompt, THEN, write your own song to Glitter. It's be all sparkle all the time. 

Texans Safety, the NEW FELLA- CJ Gardner-Johnson: "2025 Texans.. Championship, or NOTHIN'" OH OK, CJ LFG! full 737 Thu, 24 Apr 2025 03:13:54 +0000 oJYIVkT39G4LXwYXE2nFFTrwyukuVHmV nfl,nfl draft,houston texans,demeco ryans,cj gardner-johnson,nfl news,texans,caserio,sports The Drive with Stoerner and Hughley nfl,nfl draft,houston texans,demeco ryans,cj gardner-johnson,nfl news,texans,caserio,sports Texans Safety, the NEW FELLA- CJ Gardner-Johnson: "2025 Texans.. Championship, or NOTHIN'" OH OK, CJ LFG! 2-6PM M-F 2024 © 2021 Audacy, Inc. Sports False

In episode 1845, Miles and guest co-host Pallavi Gunalan are joined by relationship coach, co-host of Just Between Us, and author of Save The Date, Allison Raskin, to discuss… House Advances Trump’s Budget Bill In 216-214 Vote, Trump Isn’t Even Trying To Hide His Market Manipulation Anymore, Quick Check In With Rightwing Men…Oh OK, Is the DIRE WOLF Back or Naw? “Hitler Survived World War II” Theories Are Everywhere Right Now – And Also BS and more! Trump Isn’t Even Trying To Hide His Market Manipulation Anymore NEWS: Sens. Schiff, Gallego Demand Investigation into Potential Insider Trading and Corruption Ahead of Trump Tariff Pause Democrats focus on possible market manipulation following Trump’s tariffs ‘pause’ Trump Engaged in Suspect Tax Schemes as He Reaped Riches From His Father Playbook: Chinese walls Jackson County TN Christian nationalist Pastor Andrew Isker is apparently afraid that TSA scanners will make him become attracted to men CIA Probed Photo of ‘Hitler in Colombia’ Years after the War Experts dispute claim dire wolf brought back from extinction The Simpsons: S06E16 - Hitler in South America CIA files reveal search for Hitler in South America 10 years after his suicide as Argentina prepares to release classified docs on Nazi fugitives Documents don't show CIA confirmed Hitler left Germany for South America after WWII Argentina declassifying docs on Nazi fugitives, reignites Hitler conspiracy The History Channel Claimed One Of The Three Stooges Might Be 'Hitler' LISTEN: Archives by Opek WATCH: The Daily Zeitgeist on Youtube! L.A. Wildfire Relief: Displaced Black Families GoFund Me Directory See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to our newest episode! On this week's episode Pumpkin talks about some brews, including trips to Eight & Sand and Battle River Brewing. Special shout out to Jeff and the gang at Heavy Reel. Food is a given. You know us by now. That includes trying Guinness flavored chips from Keogh's and Sour Watermelon candy from Joyride. Plus, the usual Peach's kitchen conjurings. PLUS, don't forget about the first ever Connecticut Cider Festival coming up next month! All those things and more await you. Join us!Check us out on Instagram @pumpkinandpeachpodcast and on Facebook @Pumpkin and Peach Podcast to see pictures and get links to things we discuss in each episode. Now, also check us out on YouTube @Pumpkin and Peach Podcast! Also, our business on Instagram @uglymugsinc and on Facebook @Ugly Mugs Inc. You can also email us at pumpkinandpeachadventures@gmail.com Contact us if you want to collaborate, or be a sponsor.  Also get in touch with us if you want us to try a cider, beer, food, product, or anything and review it on a future episode.

Close The Door Podcast bersama Baim Alkatiri

On this new episode of THE POLITICRAT daily podcast Omar Moore on communications and misunderstandings and the art of explanation. Also: Voter registration deadlines and rules for Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon. And: Voter awareness and Vote Harris. Recorded on August 24, 2024.  Register to vote check your voter registration NOW: https://vote.org AUDIO: Voter education: things to know, part 1 (Spoutible) https://spoutible.com/pod/66c937e836e8638398e8bc0e Help out the VP Harris campaign and Democrats across the US now. Everyone can do something: https://democrats.org/events Omar's interview with Phil Donahue: http://www.popcornreel.com/htm/philwar.htm Video of the conversation between Vice President Kamala Harris and Minnesota governor Tim Walz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkwZ_A49hb8 The ProPublica October 15, 2022 story on price-gouging on rents and housing by billionaire investors and corporations: https://www.propublica.org/article/yieldstar-rent-increase-realpage-rent VP Harris's record on immigration, documented:  1) https://tinyurl.com/y7495a7j 2) https://tinyurl.com/bdevzk2v 3) https://tinyurl.com/paze5u6k CREW report on the fight against Trump lackeys' likely refusal to certify 2024 election results: https://www.citizensforethics.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/ElectionCertificationUnderThreat.pdf Omar's new article on Substack: https://politicrat.substack.com/p/scranton-joe-versus-the-volcano-the Subscribe: https://politicrat.substack.com Full video of VP Kamala Harris and Gov Tim Walz in Las Vegas: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDcXZp4Vi4Y Full video of Lawrence O'Donnell 24-minute opening: https://www.msnbc.com/the-last-word/watch/lawrence-stupidest-candidate-trump-did-not-answer-reporters-questions-216787525948 Nixon 1968 ad: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6Vq-WYHFOM

Lindi: 诶？ 听说昨天我们这儿有一个名人演讲。你去听了吗？(Éi? Tīng shuō zuótiān wǒmen zhè'er yǒu yīgè míngrén yǎnjiǎng. Nǐ qù tīngle ma?) Hey I heard a well-known speaker came here to give a speech yesterday. Did you go? Vicky: 哎。。。我去了。别提了。你什么也没错过。都是一些陈词滥调。没什么意思. (Āi... Wǒ qùle. Biétíle. Nǐ shénme yě méi cuòguò. Dōu shì yīxiē chéncílàndiào. Méishénme yìsi.) Ah...I went. Don't ask. You didn't miss anything. It was just the usual cliche BS. Totally meaningless. Lindi: 啊啊OK。跟我猜的一样，所以我才没去。(A a OK. Gēn wǒ cāi de yīyàng, suǒyǐ wǒ cái méi qù. ) Oh OK, that's what I thought so I didn't go. Vicky: 啊。。你很聪明！(A.. Nǐ hěn cōngmíng!) Ah..that was smart! Supplementary Phrases: 不要以貌取人(Bùyào yǐmàoqǔrén) - Don't judge someone by their appearance (a.k.a. Don't judge a book by it's cover) 车到山前必有路，船到桥头自然直(Chē dào shān qián bì yǒu lù, chuán dào qiáotóu zìrán zhí) - Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. Everything will turn out all right.

It's double trouble this week! Poof...just like a Criss Angel routine, we've magically got double the lads, double the laughs, double the fun...and double the vinyl! Yep, that's right, during this episode, we talk about double albums with our special guests Bryan Cook and Tom Cheek from Is/Ought Gap. More than just an album spread across two slabs of wax, symbolically the double album is an opportunity for artists to use the recording medium as a grand, bold artistic statement, a blank canvas for experimentation, stretching out, and crafting a long form musical narrative. When executed well, double albums can be beautiful, messy, ambitious, kaleidoscopic masterpieces. Is/Ought Gap was formed in Athens, Georgia by Bryan Cook (Time Toy, Club Gaga, Hindu Love Gods) and Tom Cheek (Kilkenny Cats) in the early '80s while attending the University of Georgia. Athens, as you well know, was already the musical hotbed of the south, with The B-52's, R.E.M., Pylon, Oh-OK, and other legends, and while those bands certainly informed the sound of Is/Ought Gap, they were also a bit looser and noisier. Despite being live favorites and recording a never officially released album in 1984, Lucky 7, Is/Ought Gap's original run was relatively short and the band members went on to other endeavors. It's now time to reclaim their rightful place in Athens music history with the release of the compilation album SUA, out on April 5th from HHBTM Records. SUA collects tracks from Lucky 7 along with songs that were demoed back in the day but recorded until 2014 and some vintage live tracks. The stage is set for a grand return, a celebration of sonic resurrection, as Is/Ought Gap weaves their enigmatic melodies once more into the tapestry of Athens, live and in person! Special thanks to Mike Turner from HHBTM for orchestrating our visit! Proud members of the Pantheon Podcasts family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's double trouble this week! Poof...just like a Criss Angel routine, we've magically got double the lads, double the laughs, double the fun...and double the vinyl! Yep, that's right, during this episode, we talk about double albums with our special guests Bryan Cook and Tom Cheek from Is/Ought Gap. More than just an album spread across two slabs of wax, symbolically the double album is an opportunity for artists to use the recording medium as a grand, bold artistic statement, a blank canvas for experimentation, stretching out, and crafting a long form musical narrative. When executed well, double albums can be beautiful, messy, ambitious, kaleidoscopic masterpieces. Is/Ought Gap was formed in Athens, Georgia by Bryan Cook (Time Toy, Club Gaga, Hindu Love Gods) and Tom Cheek (Kilkenny Cats) in the early '80s while attending the University of Georgia. Athens, as you well know, was already the musical hotbed of the south, with The B-52's, R.E.M., Pylon, Oh-OK, and other legends, and while those bands certainly informed the sound of Is/Ought Gap, they were also a bit looser and noisier. Despite being live favorites and recording a never officially released album in 1984, Lucky 7, Is/Ought Gap's original run was relatively short and the band members went on to other endeavors. It's now time to reclaim their rightful place in Athens music history with the release of the compilation album SUA, out on April 5th from HHBTM Records. SUA collects tracks from Lucky 7 along with songs that were demoed back in the day but recorded until 2014 and some vintage live tracks. The stage is set for a grand return, a celebration of sonic resurrection, as Is/Ought Gap weaves their enigmatic melodies once more into the tapestry of Athens, live and in person! Special thanks to Mike Turner from HHBTM for orchestrating our visit! Proud members of the Pantheon Podcasts family. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We pay tribute to another of the great labels of the O3L era...this time shining the spotlight on the magnificent DB Recs, the Atlanta-based label founded by Danny Beard, and run from 1978 - 1997 out of his still thriving record store Wax'n'Facts. Through Danny's ingenuity, support, and incredible ear for talent, it's safe to say that the alternative music scene in the Southeastern US would not be the same without him. DB's initial release was catalogue number DB-52, 'Rock Lobster' / '52 Girls', the first single by none other than The B-52's. From there, DB gave a voice to a wide range of artists in Atlanta, Athens, and beyond, including Pylon, Love Tractor, Oh-OK, Guadalcanal Diary, The Swimming Pool Q's, Fetchin Bones, Zeitgeist/The Reivers, The Jody Grind, The Coolies, Chris Stamey, and others. This week, we each offer up our Top 5 DB Recs songs with special guests Current Rage - John Moore (rhythm guitar), Paul Lenz (drums), and Bryan Lilje (bass). In absentia is lead guitarist and vocalist Olivia Bewley. You may remember the remarkable story of Current Rage from Episode 140: The band formed in 1979 by professional skateboarders Chris Bewley (brother of Pylon's Randy) and John Moore. By the beginning of 1981, they were headlining shows in the southeast with their brash, energetic, catchy post-punk tunes. They released the indie EP Seven Songs in 1982, which became a highly coveted collector's item among fans of DIY indie rock. After Current Rage ceased to be, each of the members followed different paths, with Chris Bewley succumbing to a heart attack in 2018 at the age of 57. Coinciding with the expanded 40th anniversary reissue of Seven Songs in 2022 on Propeller Sound Recordings, Current Rage is now back and experiencing a resurgence...with a twist. Chris's daughter Olivia plays lead guitar and sings in the current iteration of the band. While she never had much of a relationship with her father, through his music, his former band, and even some of his equipment, she is able to connect with Chris in powerful, unexpected ways. During this episode, we catch up with the band and (despite not being DB Recs artists themselves) discuss the indelible impact of Danny Beard and the DB roster on them. Deep gratitude to Current Rage's manager, Robin Hall Bewley Frankland, for organizing this return visit to O3L! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We pay tribute to another of the great labels of the O3L era...this time shining the spotlight on the magnificent DB Recs, the Atlanta-based label founded by Danny Beard, and run from 1978 - 1997 out of his still thriving record store Wax'n'Facts. Through Danny's ingenuity, support, and incredible ear for talent, it's safe to say that the alternative music scene in the Southeastern US would not be the same without him. DB's initial release was catalogue number DB-52, 'Rock Lobster' / '52 Girls', the first single by none other than The B-52's. From there, DB gave a voice to a wide range of artists in Atlanta, Athens, and beyond, including Pylon, Love Tractor, Oh-OK, Guadalcanal Diary, The Swimming Pool Q's, Fetchin Bones, Zeitgeist/The Reivers, The Jody Grind, The Coolies, Chris Stamey, and others. This week, we each offer up our Top 5 DB Recs songs with special guests Current Rage - John Moore (rhythm guitar), Paul Lenz (drums), and Bryan Lilje (bass). In absentia is lead guitarist and vocalist Olivia Bewley. You may remember the remarkable story of Current Rage from Episode 140: The band formed in 1979 by professional skateboarders Chris Bewley (brother of Pylon's Randy) and John Moore. By the beginning of 1981, they were headlining shows in the southeast with their brash, energetic, catchy post-punk tunes. They released the indie EP Seven Songs in 1982, which became a highly coveted collector's item among fans of DIY indie rock. After Current Rage ceased to be, each of the members followed different paths, with Chris Bewley succumbing to a heart attack in 2018 at the age of 57. Coinciding with the expanded 40th anniversary reissue of Seven Songs in 2022 on Propeller Sound Recordings, Current Rage is now back and experiencing a resurgence...with a twist. Chris's daughter Olivia plays lead guitar and sings in the current iteration of the band. While she never had much of a relationship with her father, through his music, his former band, and even some of his equipment, she is able to connect with Chris in powerful, unexpected ways. During this episode, we catch up with the band and (despite not being DB Recs artists themselves) discuss the indelible impact of Danny Beard and the DB roster on them. Deep gratitude to Current Rage's manager, Robin Hall Bewley Frankland, for organizing this return visit to O3L! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Hey guys, the bass player wrote a song and he wants to play it for us". "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, wait, what? You're serious? Oh OK then, yeh let's hear the bass player's 'song'..." That's usually the way it goes in bands but John's first contribution made it onto side two of 1974's adventurous masterpiece, Sheer Heart Attack. Roger gets a new drum, Kev's the Turkey of the Month, and we get into the weeds about the future of music as an AI "artist" is signed to a contract (and people wonder why I drink!")If Randy were to title this episode, he'd probably call it "Is misfire a euphemisim?" or possibly, "Your gun is loaded and pointing my way!"Today's episode covers Deacy's first solo contribution to Queen's catalogue, "Misfire".NOTE: If you want to skip ahead to Randy and Kev's manifestations and the wheel spin, that happens at 32:32!Thanks to everyone who tuned in to the last episode and left us some comments on Twitter, Facebook, and BlueSky! We'll always try to answer any questions you have and seriously appreciate any corrections you make to anything we get wrong. And thanks so much for all your support as usual. We're loving diving into the Queen fandom a little more deeply as much as we're enjoying recording the podcasts!Huge thanks to Corey Morrissette and Mark Camire for letting us copy and paste the format from their gold-standard podcast; And the Podcast Will Rock. You can find them at @PodcastWillRock on Twitter. Also, make sure you go check out our beautiful brothers and sisters over on the Deep Dive Podcast Network!Follow us onTwitter: @queenseasideFacebook: @seasidepodreviewBluesky: @seasidepodreview.bsky.socialAlso, check out Kev's other podcastsThe Tom Petty Project: https://tompettyproject.comThe Ultimate Catalogue Clash: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/ultimate-catalogue-clashAnd if you want to check out Randy's music, you can find it here:https://randywoodsband.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My thoughts

Codey and Bev talk about Research Story Timings 00:00:00: Theme Tune 00:00:30: Intro 00:02:23: What Have We Been Up To 00:14:40: News 00:26:11: Research Story 01:18:02: Outro Links Disney Dreamlight Valley Pride of the Valley Update Mika and the Witch’s Mountain Trailer Coral Island Summer Update Rune Factory 3S US Special Edition Research Story on Steam Contact Al on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheScotBot Al on Mastodon: https://mastodon.scot/@TheScotBot Email Us: https://harvestseason.club/contact/ Transcript [00:00.000 –> 00:30.000] music [00:30.000 –> 00:35.000] Hello farmers and welcome to another episode of the harvest season. [00:35.000 –> 00:40.000] My name is Cody and my name is Bev and we’re here today to talk about cottage core [00:40.000 –> 00:44.000] games. [00:44.000 –> 00:49.000] What so so we we say hello farmers because it used to be only a [00:49.000 –> 00:54.000] farming podcast but now we’re like rebranding. So what do we say like hello cottage core [00:54.000 –> 00:59.000] workers. This is a question. That’s a great question. [00:59.000 –> 01:04.000] Listeners right in. Join the slack and tell us what we should call you. [01:04.000 –> 01:09.000] Listeners maybe. Hello listeners. Hello. [01:09.000 –> 01:14.000] We’ll workshop it. Yeah sure. Definitely [01:14.000 –> 01:19.000] tweet at us please. So there is a quote here. [01:19.000 –> 01:24.000] I don’t know how you wanted me to say this. But for [01:24.000 –> 01:29.000] folks that would like transcripts transcripts are available in the show notes and [01:29.000 –> 01:34.000] on the website. So any transcripts for I’m assuming any [01:34.000 –> 01:39.000] episode at least this episode will be available there. [01:39.000 –> 01:44.000] So if you mention anything or if I say something weird and you’re like what was that word. [01:45.000 –> 01:50.000] You can look it up. So today we are here to talk [01:50.000 –> 01:55.000] about our main topic which is a research story. So this is part two technically. [01:56.000 –> 02:01.000] The first episode which you can find in our on our feed was Bev and I talking about our [02:01.000 –> 02:06.000] experiences in research. And they said that you had a they had a very cool [02:06.000 –> 02:11.000] monkey poop thing. Yes. So if you’re [02:11.000 –> 02:16.000] yeah if you’re like not not sure what what monkey poop what go back [02:16.000 –> 02:21.000] and listen to that right. Please. And we do have some news. [02:21.000 –> 02:26.000] But before we get to that Bev what have you been up to. [02:26.000 –> 02:31.000] I have been struggling just in general. [02:31.000 –> 02:36.000] But I at least like what I’ve been playing. I’ve been on a weird [02:36.000 –> 02:41.000] solitaire kick lately. Like I was at a conference last week and that’s what got [02:41.000 –> 02:46.000] me through the conference was just playing solitaire while I was listening. Do you have [02:46.000 –> 02:51.000] like a specific like with with cards or do you have a specific. There’s like an app. [02:51.000 –> 02:56.000] I think it’s like a game pass app or whatever. I don’t know. [02:56.000 –> 03:01.000] I have it for Xbox and I download it on the phone because I was like I wanted something that I could play [03:01.000 –> 03:06.000] Spider solitaire on and also bring my solitaire and free [03:06.000 –> 03:11.000] sell and everything but not have to download like five different apps for it. So yeah. [03:11.000 –> 03:16.000] I know exactly what you’re talking about actually. The second thing you said Xbox I was [03:16.000 –> 03:21.000] like oh I used to do that all the time. So I used to have a Microsoft service [03:21.000 –> 03:26.000] and which is a laptop for those for those that didn’t know [03:26.000 –> 03:31.000] that was like the Microsoft laptop. And it came with the [03:31.000 –> 03:36.000] the games and quote unquote one of the quote unquote games was solid was that solitaire pack. And [03:36.000 –> 03:41.000] they have dailies like you can do them every day. Yes I’ve been doing the dailies. [03:41.000 –> 03:46.000] I loved it. Oh OK. [03:46.000 –> 03:51.000] So you’ve been solid. Which one’s your favorite. I feel like freestyle is my favorite. OK [03:51.000 –> 03:56.000] I didn’t really like freestyle. What’s the one with the polar bear the Klondike one. There’s like there’s the polar [03:56.000 –> 04:01.000] that’s like that’s like regular solitaire. They call it Klondike and I don’t know why Klondike [04:01.000 –> 04:06.000] right right right. No there was another one the pyramid one maybe. Oh the pyramid one. [04:06.000 –> 04:11.000] Is that like the one we have to do like the math and like add it up to like 13. [04:11.000 –> 04:16.000] Yeah. I also like that one. Like I never heard of that one before until I played [04:16.000 –> 04:21.000] this game. Like this is so fun. Yeah. Yeah. [04:21.000 –> 04:26.000] Well what else other than solid. [04:26.000 –> 04:31.000] I feel like that’s that’s been mostly like other than the research story I’ve been on like [04:31.000 –> 04:36.000] right. Like I was doing stardew and then I went on the conference and then I couldn’t really [04:36.000 –> 04:41.000] play it and then got obsessed with solitaire. So like I moved from my stardew like obsession [04:41.000 –> 04:46.000] to solitaire and I’ll probably go back to start. I feel like we’ll see. It’s that time of year. [04:46.000 –> 04:51.000] Like I feel like this time of year when things start changing and like you get that springy feel to the to the [04:51.000 –> 04:56.000] air. Everyone’s playing stardew right now. Like all of my friends are like I’ve just been really enjoying [04:56.000 –> 05:01.000] stardew. I need to replay it because I have never made it past. I’ve never [05:01.000 –> 05:06.000] made it through the second year. Yeah. Yeah. That was why I picked it up again because [05:06.000 –> 05:11.000] I was like I need to do this. And then I made it past second year and now I’m like finally 1.5 [05:11.000 –> 05:16.000] content. So do it and maybe we can talk about it because we haven’t really talked about [05:16.000 –> 05:21.000] the 1.5 update. So do it. That’s true. Is the 1.5 update free? [05:21.000 –> 05:26.000] Yes. It’s free. I think it’s on all platforms by this point. Like even on mobile. I [05:26.000 –> 05:31.000] have it on steam or not steam switch. So do it. [05:31.000 –> 05:36.000] I have been playing research life. [05:36.000 –> 05:41.000] IRL research story. [05:41.000 –> 05:46.000] IRL research. I’ve been planning a new field season and this one is going to be different [05:46.000 –> 05:51.000] than what I’ve done before. And so I need to actually construct some traps. So I’ve purchased a [05:51.000 –> 05:56.000] bunch of acrylic and then I have to go like buy. I have to go like buy [05:56.000 –> 06:01.000] these buckets. I basically played go get my [06:01.000 –> 06:06.000] PI’s credit card and go spend money. [06:06.000 –> 06:11.000] But it’s my research money. But like it’s through someone else’s [06:11.000 –> 06:16.000] card. But it was really fun to like quote unquote fun to go to like Home Depot. Just drop down [06:16.000 –> 06:21.000] for shopping. Home Depot is a lot of fun. It can be a lot of fun. [06:21.000 –> 06:26.000] It was also really fun because I brought Stella because you can bring dogs. [06:27.000 –> 06:32.000] And she did so good. Oh that’s that’s even more fun. Like I [06:32.000 –> 06:37.000] feel like Home Depot’s like should have more dogs because it’s like no one cares. So [06:37.000 –> 06:42.000] we want more dogs at Home Depot or like Lowe’s. That day I took her to let’s see we went to [06:42.000 –> 06:47.000] Petco obviously can bring pets in their Michaels. You can bring pet dogs [06:47.000 –> 06:52.000] into Michaels and Joanne’s. That sounds like a disaster. [06:52.000 –> 06:57.000] Well and it was so funny because she loves to pick trash up off the floor. So every time she [06:57.000 –> 07:02.000] picked something up like and like people I mean things fall off of things [07:02.000 –> 07:07.000] at craft stores all the time. Oh yeah. If you buy like a floral like a fake floral display [07:07.000 –> 07:12.000] like these fake flowers fell off and they were just on the ground and she just kept picking trash up [07:12.000 –> 07:17.000] and I kept taking it from her. So by the time I got up to the register I was just like here’s all this trash. [07:19.000 –> 07:24.000] But she also picked up this this DMC claw DMC floss [07:24.000 –> 07:29.000] like floss that you’d use for like cross stitching or whatever. And I do that. And so I was [07:29.000 –> 07:34.000] like I’ll just buy this. And they were like are you sure you don’t have to. And I was like she picked it up. I was I’ll just [07:34.000 –> 07:39.000] buy it’s fine. She slobbered all over this like this poor floss. Yeah like her saliva [07:39.000 –> 07:44.000] is on this. I’ll just buy it. And then I took it home and I actually looked at it. [07:44.000 –> 07:49.000] It’s actually a color of used a lot. So I was like OK good good. I’m glad like you can never [07:49.000 –> 07:54.000] have too much floss. I feel like she was just looking at. Yeah. Yeah. And like you know sometimes you have to [07:54.000 –> 07:59.000] use a little bit of saliva to like make it work anyway. She just is helping you [07:59.000 –> 08:04.000] preemptively. That’s true. That’s true. You have to like kind of get it get it together because you pull [08:04.000 –> 08:09.000] strands together. Mm hmm. Other than that my partner [08:09.000 –> 08:14.000] came here for the weekend and he brought overcooked to [08:14.000 –> 08:19.000] this game on steam. And I’m obsessed. [08:19.000 –> 08:24.000] We played it for like I say two hours. He says three hours straight. I [08:24.000 –> 08:29.000] wanted to play more. He was like I need a break. And I was like we need to keep playing. [08:30.000 –> 08:35.000] Basically did you ever play like Diner Dash. No I don’t think so. [08:35.000 –> 08:40.000] OK. It’s like that. It’s basically OK. It’s like you’re like building [08:41.000 –> 08:46.000] there’s recipes that come across the screen and then you’re supposed to build them. So like if a [08:46.000 –> 08:51.000] salad comes across the screen then you have to grab a lettuce and a tomato and chop them up [08:51.000 –> 08:56.000] and then serve them on a plate and then put them on the like outgoing thing. [08:56.000 –> 09:01.000] So it’s like an assembly game essentially. Yeah it is an assembly game. But the fun part of it [09:01.000 –> 09:06.000] quote unquote fun part about it is that you. So it’s if you’re playing by yourself [09:06.000 –> 09:11.000] you control two people like you [09:11.000 –> 09:16.000] just switch to switch between the two people. But if you have two people it puts one of you on one [09:16.000 –> 09:21.000] one side of the of the kitchen or whatever and then one on the other side. And like [09:21.000 –> 09:26.000] so I might have all of the food and then he has the cutting [09:26.000 –> 09:31.000] boards and then maybe I have the fryers and then he has the plates. And [09:31.000 –> 09:36.000] so I literally have to like throw stuff to him so he [09:36.000 –> 09:41.000] can cut it up and then he throws it back to me and like there’s a barrier in between. So like you can’t [09:41.000 –> 09:46.000] go on the barrier. You’re throwing stuff around both both directions and then [09:46.000 –> 09:51.000] like trying to serve it up. And then also at one point there’s like dirty dishes. So someone has to clean them and you’re [09:51.000 –> 09:56.000] basically trying to like do this cooperation. And if you don’t do the order [09:56.000 –> 10:01.000] fast enough you like lose your tips and you like [10:01.000 –> 10:06.000] lose points for that and stuff. And the whole point I guess is that it’s [10:06.000 –> 10:11.000] it’s got a loose story where there’s the king [10:11.000 –> 10:16.000] onion guy of the world accidentally made undead zombies [10:16.000 –> 10:21.000] and they’re called the unbred. OK I’m totally fine with zombies. [10:21.000 –> 10:26.000] I mean you never see the zombies. The thing is like that you’re trying [10:26.000 –> 10:31.000] to learn how to cook to feed them to start to [10:31.000 –> 10:36.000] stave them off so that they don’t eat the people I guess is the whole point. [10:36.000 –> 10:41.000] Makes sense. I see that. OK. So you’re just having like pet zombies essentially. [10:41.000 –> 10:46.000] You never I like you never see them. OK that’s [10:46.000 –> 10:51.000] I need I need an overcooked version where there’s more zombie interaction. Yeah. [10:51.000 –> 10:56.000] Yeah. So we played that and then we also [10:56.000 –> 11:01.000] started playing board games. So last night Jeff [11:01.000 –> 11:06.000] and I introduced my roommate to Catan. She’d never played. [11:06.000 –> 11:11.000] And we played we played one game and in the beginning of the game she was [11:11.000 –> 11:16.000] like I don’t like this. I don’t know if this is for me. And then by the end she lost by the end of the game. [11:16.000 –> 11:21.000] And she like like I won. I just like and I did the [11:21.000 –> 11:26.000] classic like build two roads take longest road and I have this like secret [11:26.000 –> 11:31.000] development card that gives me a bonus point and I won like bam. Like like I went from like three points away [11:31.000 –> 11:36.000] to winning to like bam I won. Beautiful. And she was just like she was like no [11:36.000 –> 11:41.000] and she like stood up and walked away. She’s like I hate this game and then she turns back [11:41.000 –> 11:46.000] around. She’s like we’re playing again. [11:46.000 –> 11:51.000] I love that. But I mean Jeff and I really want to play more board games. So we went to a card shop [11:51.000 –> 11:56.000] today. A couple card shops today. One game. I don’t know if you’ve seen it’s called arch ravels. [11:56.000 –> 12:01.000] Arch ravels? Why ravels or ravels? Ravels because you knit. [12:03.000 –> 12:08.000] It’s a knitting board game. Oh my goodness. [12:08.000 –> 12:13.000] I’m going to find it for you and then put it in the chat or something. I feel like I need this because it [12:13.000 –> 12:18.000] and it looked like I was like oh it’s probably really expensive. It’s only like 20 bucks. [12:18.000 –> 12:23.000] That’s amazing. Or at least like so some places have like 31. It’s [12:23.000 –> 12:28.000] somewhere between like it’s under 40 for sure. And I was I don’t know board games are expensive. So [12:28.000 –> 12:33.000] so I was like I didn’t bring my wallet and like I wasn’t going to make Jeff pay for it [12:33.000 –> 12:38.000] because he’s not a knitter. Yeah. You compete with fellow knitters to collect [12:38.000 –> 12:43.000] wool finish patterns and make a masterwork. So it looked really amazing. But we [12:43.000 –> 12:48.000] ended up getting a game called love letters which is a card game where you are trying [12:48.000 –> 12:53.000] to like woo a princess. OK. And you’re trying [12:53.000 –> 12:58.000] to like win favors to woo the princess and you just like go back and forth and you try and [12:58.000 –> 13:03.000] make sure that you have the best card. I don’t know. We haven’t played it yet. OK. We also looked [13:03.000 –> 13:08.000] at there were other like really pretty games. There was wingspan [13:08.000 –> 13:13.000] there which I really enjoyed. It’s a fun game. It’s they didn’t have parks. [13:14.000 –> 13:19.000] And I know since we’re talking about parks I just for the fiftieth time have to [13:19.000 –> 13:24.000] apologize for spilling coffee. It’s fine. It’s 100 percent fine. [13:24.000 –> 13:29.000] This is why I sleeve meticulously every single thing that can possibly [13:29.000 –> 13:34.000] sleep. Like my partner spilled water on the table and [13:34.000 –> 13:39.000] like got onto like some of our card like our open boxes that we have and I’m like it’s it’s fine. Yeah. [13:39.000 –> 13:44.000] Like everything’s either in plastic or cardboard. Like I don’t care about the box. It was like it was fine. [13:44.000 –> 13:49.000] We played. Gosh we went down. We you and I both went down to D.C. [13:49.000 –> 13:54.000] to go play like a community day like two or three years ago. I don’t remember. [13:54.000 –> 13:59.000] It’s been a hot minute. And they brought all their all their games and we play parks [13:59.000 –> 14:04.000] with some other friends and it was really fun. And then at one point I spilled coffee and I was just like [14:04.000 –> 14:09.000] I immediately was like I will buy you a new one. [14:09.000 –> 14:14.000] It feels so bad. And I’m like it’s fine. [14:14.000 –> 14:19.000] It haunts me to this day. You’re completely fine. Yeah. Oh you are just going to have to [14:19.000 –> 14:24.000] come over and accidentally spill something on one of your games. [14:24.000 –> 14:29.000] Please do. Please do. Oh yeah. I mean so that’s I don’t [14:29.000 –> 14:34.000] I mean I’ve still been playing Pokemon Go and Pikmin Bloom and stuff like that but [14:34.000 –> 14:39.000] I’ve not really been playing a ton of games but it’s cool. It’s a weird time. [14:39.000 –> 14:44.000] It is a weird time. So jumping into the news. [14:44.000 –> 14:49.000] First bit of news is that Disney Dreamlight Valley has an update launching [14:49.000 –> 14:54.000] April 5th. So very soon and update is called [14:54.000 –> 14:59.000] the Pride of the Valley update. And so it’s it adds adult Simba [14:59.000 –> 15:04.000] and adult Nala and it’s about you know like Lion King. [15:04.000 –> 15:09.000] So there’s not a ton of information about it. It just says like a new realm [15:09.000 –> 15:14.000] opens there’s new characters more surprises. They said that there’s a path to [15:14.000 –> 15:19.000] celebrate the Disney parks. Interesting. So I think it’s just going to be [15:19.000 –> 15:24.000] like a theme park thing. I don’t know. I haven’t played Disney so. I haven’t either. I love [15:24.000 –> 15:29.000] Simba and if Simba is voice acted in here by the original like [15:29.000 –> 15:34.000] Simba I think. Oh I doubt it. I doubt it. I know I highly doubt it. But just the voice actor [15:34.000 –> 15:39.000] for Simba is just like I definitely had a crush on Simba. [15:40.000 –> 15:45.000] Oh my gosh. I don’t even know if Matthew Broderick is still around. What is he doing [15:45.000 –> 15:50.000] nowadays. I don’t know. But I need to hear more of him. He’s 61. He is married to Sarah Jessica [15:50.000 –> 15:55.000] Parker. Oh that’s OK. Wow. [15:55.000 –> 16:00.000] I did not know that. He’s a good egg. He’s done a lot. So yeah [16:00.000 –> 16:05.000] that is Disney Dreamlight Valley. Pride of the Valley [16:05.000 –> 16:10.000] is like interesting because I understand why it’s called Pride of the Valley. But it made me think it was like [16:10.000 –> 16:15.000] like Pride Month something. I was like I got excited. That’s fair. [16:15.000 –> 16:20.000] That is very fair. Some people. So apparently like Pride of the Valley is [16:20.000 –> 16:25.000] something at the parks. Interesting. So they’re trying to like market. That’s smart [16:25.000 –> 16:30.000] for Disney to market their physical location I guess. [16:30.000 –> 16:35.000] I don’t know because someone said something about like one of the comments on Twitter or something was like this is my [16:35.000 –> 16:40.000] favorite part of the parks. So I don’t know. OK. I haven’t been to Disney [16:40.000 –> 16:45.000] years. I’m going to have to change that. And then now my partner hasn’t either. I’m like we [16:45.000 –> 16:50.000] need to go. We need to go. I’ve never been. But like now I’m just like it’s [16:50.000 –> 16:55.000] so freaking expensive. And I mean it probably was always expensive [16:55.000 –> 17:00.000] but like it just seems like hell to me honestly. [17:00.000 –> 17:05.000] Especially in the heat depending on where you’re [17:05.000 –> 17:10.000] going. I just came back from California so I should have like the last time I went to California I went to [17:10.000 –> 17:15.000] Disneyland for the first time. But it’s like a beautiful weather over there. I definitely would not go to the Florida one. [17:15.000 –> 17:20.000] I actually someone a previous partner invited me [17:20.000 –> 17:25.000] to go to the Florida one and he was like I’ll pay for everything. And I was [17:25.000 –> 17:30.000] like hmm but Florida. But Florida. [17:30.000 –> 17:35.000] Understand. Well as a Floridian I 100% understand. [17:35.000 –> 17:40.000] Maybe go to the California one. He does it every year though. So I don’t know. OK. [17:40.000 –> 17:45.000] Next piece of news Mika and the Witch’s Mountain. There is a new trailer. [17:46.000 –> 17:51.000] It is very cute. [17:51.000 –> 17:56.000] The trailer is very cute. There’s like music behind it. It’s a minute and a half long and you kind of [17:56.000 –> 18:01.000] just like see there’s part gameplay and part like animation [18:01.000 –> 18:06.000] of the game. And it just looks really cute. It’s just Mika [18:06.000 –> 18:11.000] like doing her business delivering stuff and you get to see a bunch of the [18:11.000 –> 18:16.000] other characters. And yeah. Did you get a chance to watch the [18:16.000 –> 18:21.000] trailer at all. No but I know I [18:21.000 –> 18:26.000] will watch it after this. But I am very excited for this game [18:26.000 –> 18:31.000] just because I love the other games in this world. I guess this universe. [18:32.000 –> 18:37.000] So looking forward to this and I’m a little behind on the Kickstarter updates [18:37.000 –> 18:42.000] but I’ll get in there. Yeah. It’s still just had the planned release date [18:42.000 –> 18:46.000] of 2023 so question mark. Yeah. [18:46.000 –> 18:51.000] Mary Little Witch and you develop to deliver packages. The flight looks really cute like the flight [18:51.000 –> 18:56.000] of this game. Oh my goodness. It seems like it’s. The Studio Ghibli. Yeah. Yeah. [18:56.000 –> 19:01.000] I’m really excited for just being a little witch doing a little delivery service. [19:01.000 –> 19:06.000] You just did a little cute witch. Yeah. It’s very cute. [19:06.000 –> 19:11.000] I know Kevin is also very excited. Likely something that would be covered on this podcast. [19:11.000 –> 19:16.000] Very likely. Yeah. I think several of us are backers [19:16.000 –> 19:21.000] at this point. So we’ll definitely at least play it at some point. Have a couple triple [19:21.000 –> 19:26.000] million harvests. Next is Coral [19:26.000 –> 19:31.000] Island. So there is a summer update for Coral Island coming out on May [19:31.000 –> 19:36.000] 3rd. No just as May 2023. So somewhere sometime in May there will be an update [19:36.000 –> 19:41.000] for the summer. And there’s a lot of things in this [19:41.000 –> 19:46.000] update. The first thing is that a lot of the characters are going to be getting summer outfits. [19:46.000 –> 19:51.000] So I am here for you. Yes. I know. I love the idea of [19:51.000 –> 19:56.000] characters like changing with the seasons. I know Animal Crossing does this where like every now and [19:56.000 –> 20:01.000] then someone has one of your characters has like a new outfit or [20:01.000 –> 20:06.000] is it only if you give them something like give them the shirt. I think they just change [20:06.000 –> 20:11.000] that. Like there there were some times where I just was like where did you get that. And then I talked to them because like [20:11.000 –> 20:16.000] they can give each other stuff as well. So you can talk to them and they might be like oh someone [20:16.000 –> 20:21.000] gave me this and so sweet. I don’t need this other shirt anymore. Go ahead and have it. [20:21.000 –> 20:26.000] You know something like that. So I also love that these like [20:26.000 –> 20:31.000] NPCs like have their own original style. So like I’m sure you can dress people essentially in Animal Crossing [20:31.000 –> 20:36.000] but these these these are like holistic characters who like what they like. And I [20:36.000 –> 20:41.000] am here for these outfits and want some of these shirts too. Yeah [20:41.000 –> 20:46.000] like give me this give me this wah banana shirt. And I want [20:46.000 –> 20:51.000] real life. It’s a banana that looks like a dolphin. [20:51.000 –> 20:56.000] Banana dolphin shirt. [20:56.000 –> 21:01.000] They can make so much money by selling these shirts. [21:01.000 –> 21:06.000] There’s also a new festival called Pet Day. The Pet Day Festival. In it there’s a couple [21:06.000 –> 21:11.000] different things. There’s a rodeo called the Wild Ride. So you ride this like bowl [21:11.000 –> 21:16.000] which is super cute. You just like push a button super super fast to try and make sure [21:16.000 –> 21:21.000] that you stay on the bowl. They have a cow competition where you [21:21.000 –> 21:26.000] try and like race your cows against other people [21:26.000 –> 21:31.000] and your cow might get distracted. You have to like pull them back to reality. There’s a chicken [21:31.000 –> 21:36.000] competition. I don’t know what this is about. When I first saw it I was like oh I don’t [21:36.000 –> 21:41.000] like chicken fighting like that doesn’t look good. But then when you’re doing like [21:41.000 –> 21:46.000] when when it shows that you’re like hitting buttons they don’t do anything. [21:46.000 –> 21:51.000] They just kind of like stare at each other which I’m here [21:51.000 –> 21:56.000] for. Yeah just chickens being chickens. [21:56.000 –> 22:01.000] There are 20. They’re talking about an animal shelter that will have 20 [22:01.000 –> 22:06.000] adoptable pets. And then they have the outline of all of the pets. They’re very cute. And there’s a little lizard [22:06.000 –> 22:11.000] and so cute. And there’s some bunnies and then many dogs and cats [22:11.000 –> 22:16.000] and one of the dogs looks like it could possibly be an Australian Shepherd. And I am [22:16.000 –> 22:21.000] here for it. Very cool. I [22:21.000 –> 22:26.000] have officially gotten it because I think I will be playing it for the podcast. Spoiler alert. [22:26.000 –> 22:31.000] So I am here for one the bathing suits [22:31.000 –> 22:36.000] and also here for the outfits and now this pet festival thing. Yeah. [22:36.000 –> 22:41.000] Oh wait maybe this is like a staring competition. Maybe. [22:41.000 –> 22:46.000] That’s what I’m wondering. That’s what it looks like. They’re glaring at each other. [22:46.000 –> 22:51.000] The little squinties. Yeah. I don’t think chickens really [22:51.000 –> 22:56.000] blink. Anyway there’s also a new customization and it shows [22:56.000 –> 23:01.000] a beard customization where you can put it put flowers in your beard. I love that. [23:01.000 –> 23:06.000] Oh my goodness. OK. And then I’m trying to scroll down to the thing that is the most important thing to me. [23:06.000 –> 23:11.000] OK. There’s also fruit plants and you can find critters. Here it is. Insect [23:11.000 –> 23:16.000] and critter traps quote as part of the catching mystery [23:16.000 –> 23:21.000] you will unlock now unlock traps used to catch insects and critters. You can place these on the [23:21.000 –> 23:26.000] ground and in the ocean. There are four traps two for insects and two for critters. Here’s a look at the tracks in [23:26.000 –> 23:31.000] action and it shows you catch an insect and then it’s a cute [23:31.000 –> 23:36.000] little caterpillar. Oh. So [23:36.000 –> 23:41.000] I’m here for that. Yeah. This is like everything about this game is [23:41.000 –> 23:46.000] beautiful. OK. I’m really excited about this. [23:46.000 –> 23:51.000] It’s like I believe it’s still in early access. Is out now. Early access is out now. Yeah. [23:51.000 –> 23:56.000] Oh wow. It’s from Indonesia. I did not know. Yeah. I bought it with the intention of [23:56.000 –> 24:01.000] playing it but I had to put more time into our main topic for today. [24:01.000 –> 24:06.000] So I haven’t touched it yet. Yeah. Yeah. So that is that. [24:06.000 –> 24:11.000] And then the last bit of news is about Rune Factory 3 Special [24:11.000 –> 24:16.000] Golden Memories Edition. So this is an edition [24:16.000 –> 24:21.000] of Rune Factory 3 Special that has a custom box [24:21.000 –> 24:26.000] on the outside custom outer box. I don’t really know what that means and a copy of the game. [24:26.000 –> 24:31.000] But you also get an acrylic standee of a bunch of the characters. [24:31.000 –> 24:36.000] The original soundtrack CD. A custom planner. [24:36.000 –> 24:41.000] Excuse me. I know. That sounds awesome. I kind of want this [24:41.000 –> 24:46.000] just so I could have all the goodies. Really. They look so cute. Yeah. Like the CD is [24:46.000 –> 24:51.000] as true. Beautiful. It really is. Yeah. Maybe this will be [24:51.000 –> 24:56.000] what makes me want to play Rune Factory 3 Special. [24:57.000 –> 25:02.000] It’s all you, Min. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. [25:02.000 –> 25:07.000] There’s also an exclusive swimsuit mode DLC. Sure. [25:07.000 –> 25:12.000] Okay. Sure. Interesting. Yeah. So that [25:12.000 –> 25:17.000] they have announced it and preorders for that will open soon. [25:17.000 –> 25:22.000] TM. And there’s apparently if you [25:22.000 –> 25:27.000] preorder on the XSEED store you can add a golden wooly keychain for [25:27.000 –> 25:32.000] $5 more. And I wouldn’t say it looks cute but it looks [25:32.000 –> 25:37.000] it still looks like something I would want. Maybe. [25:37.000 –> 25:42.000] I don’t know. Yeah. Looks a little like. Oh the wooly is ridiculous. [25:42.000 –> 25:47.000] Right? Yeah. Like it’s not cute but it’s like ridiculous and I love it just for it being ridiculous. [25:47.000 –> 25:52.000] Yeah. Very cute. I mean it’s weird. [25:52.000 –> 25:57.000] Uh huh. Uh huh. Exactly. There’s like a blank stare to its face. [25:57.000 –> 26:02.000] Yeah. Okay. I don’t play Rune Factory. [26:02.000 –> 26:07.000] So yeah. That is the news. [26:07.000 –> 26:12.000] So. [26:13.000 –> 26:18.000] Moving on to our main topic. Uh huh. [26:18.000 –> 26:23.000] I’m laughing because I am I am shame. [26:23.000 –> 26:28.000] I have played three minutes [26:28.000 –> 26:33.000] of this game. And I feel so bad but I just have [26:33.000 –> 26:38.000] it’s been a it’s been a heck of a time. It’s been a month. Mentally, [26:38.000 –> 26:43.000] emotionally, physically. It’s been a year. Literally. I don’t know. [26:43.000 –> 26:48.000] So I mean I have thoughts about the game. Like I’ve looked at it. [26:48.000 –> 26:53.000] I’ve I’ve played three. So but I figured [26:53.000 –> 26:58.000] I would just kind of like go over like kind of read what has been said about the game. [26:58.000 –> 27:03.000] Like what they have said on their steam. [27:03.000 –> 27:08.000] And then also just kind of like interview you because you play more than three minutes. [27:08.000 –> 27:13.000] I just how my playtime and it’s a very cursed number. [27:13.000 –> 27:18.000] Sixty six hours. Nice. [27:18.000 –> 27:23.000] You can’t play anymore. I can’t. I have to put it down right here. [27:23.000 –> 27:28.000] Yeah. Right here. Okay. So just to remind people this [27:28.000 –> 27:33.000] is what the bio of research story on steam quote set out to [27:33.000 –> 27:38.000] discover and record plants and creatures for the Violet archive. Grow crops, [27:38.000 –> 27:43.000] tame animals and build the perfect farm. Forge friendships along the way as you begin your life as a [27:43.000 –> 27:48.000] researcher. Unquote. So yeah you’re kind of like you’re like a [27:48.000 –> 27:53.000] scientist in this area which is why both of us were like blessed. [27:54.000 –> 27:59.000] Yes. And it is important to note that this game still [27:59.000 –> 28:04.000] is in early access. They would they said that they would like it to be in early access [28:04.000 –> 28:09.000] for somewhere between six to six months to a year max. [28:09.000 –> 28:14.000] So it’s I mean it just came out [28:14.000 –> 28:19.000] of early acts like to like to buy and to play like a couple weeks ago. [28:19.000 –> 28:24.000] Maybe a month ago. Yeah. So and they said that when it [28:24.000 –> 28:29.000] goes from early access to a full game like the price will go up. So if you are [28:29.000 –> 28:34.000] interested in this or you know. Yeah. Get it now because you will get it for less [28:34.000 –> 28:39.000] expensive. Yes. So I will read a little bit more of [28:39.000 –> 28:44.000] the additional content and features that they plan to include in the full version. They [28:44.000 –> 28:49.000] said that they want to have more creatures fish and crops and to expand on the [28:49.000 –> 28:54.000] researching mechanics. They’re going to have more NPCs more romance [28:54.000 –> 28:59.000] bowls which I’m assuming means romance like options more heart [28:59.000 –> 29:04.000] events and they want to have like a marriage system. So think of like Stardew Valley. Yeah. [29:04.000 –> 29:09.000] Additional features such as festivals more content for [29:09.000 –> 29:14.000] decoration and building and then very importantly controller support. [29:14.000 –> 29:19.000] So currently does not have controller support which has been interesting since I’ve been playing it on [29:19.000 –> 29:24.000] Steam Deck. So it’s it’s been a good way to actually [29:24.000 –> 29:29.000] test run I think non controller games on the Steam Deck and it’s [29:29.000 –> 29:34.000] actually not that bad. Like I can right click or left click with the right trigger [29:34.000 –> 29:39.000] and like right click with the left trigger. So it’s been actually pretty nice and I almost kind [29:39.000 –> 29:44.000] of even still prefer it even though it doesn’t really have this controller support on the [29:44.000 –> 29:49.000] Steam Deck itself. So that’s that’s my review for the Steam Deck. It’s it’s still playable. [29:49.000 –> 29:54.000] That’s good. Yeah. I was going to say I had it just on Steam because it is [29:54.000 –> 29:59.000] only on Steam. I think that’s my big downfall is that [30:00.000 –> 30:05.000] the computer in this room. So my other computers and Mac and most games are only available on [30:05.000 –> 30:10.000] Windows. And so and if I come and play a game in this room I have to like put both my [30:10.000 –> 30:15.000] dogs away and like just kind of not just like a sit down and play a [30:15.000 –> 30:20.000] game and have fun like it’s kind of its own thing. So [30:20.000 –> 30:25.000] but I digress like if it was on Switch like if [30:25.000 –> 30:30.000] they had it on Switch I probably would have played it because I can play that on my couch. [30:30.000 –> 30:35.000] Yeah. So before we jump into like what the early access version has [30:35.000 –> 30:40.000] specifically and then I kind of like ask you about these different aspects. [30:40.000 –> 30:45.000] What are your first impressions? Like what do you think of the graphics and the sound and the [30:45.000 –> 30:50.000] like the overall gameplay? I will say first impressions are overall good. [30:50.000 –> 30:55.000] I feel like it’s it’s a very cute game. Like it has like it has more of a [30:55.000 –> 31:00.000] little wood I think like feel to it than than like pixel [31:00.000 –> 31:05.000] pixels like Stardew. So it’s more like chibi I think kind of. [31:05.000 –> 31:10.000] But the art for like there’s like a research book and the art for that is like really good. I really [31:10.000 –> 31:15.000] like the drawings of like all the things that you’re like interacting with. [31:15.000 –> 31:20.000] Some of the character like pixels aren’t like since they’re so small [31:20.000 –> 31:25.000] it can be a little hard to like differentiate but at the same time they’re like it’s like a fantasy [31:25.000 –> 31:30.000] setting so there’s like different species like there’s like elves and like druids and stuff. So just [31:30.000 –> 31:35.000] having that different coloration of like skin types helps a little bit with that. Like [31:35.000 –> 31:40.000] who am I talking to? Oh yeah it’s Theo. [31:40.000 –> 31:45.000] But yeah I it’s it’s very I will say it’s very Stardew-esque. [31:45.000 –> 31:50.000] It feels a lot like Stardew and maybe that’s why it was like so easy like to jump into this since I’ve [31:50.000 –> 31:55.000] been on such a like Stardew like kick. Like you have like the four [31:55.000 –> 32:00.000] seasons like they’re looking to do the marriage system adding festivals. So I think it’s essentially going [32:00.000 –> 32:05.000] to be a research version of Stardew which I don’t [32:05.000 –> 32:10.000] mind. I am here for it. Exactly. There’s definitely [32:10.000 –> 32:15.000] just as much to manage I think as there is in Stardew. So there’s a whole bunch of [32:15.000 –> 32:20.000] things. There’s so many more different animals than in Stardew. [32:20.000 –> 32:25.000] And we’ll get into that I think later but it’s it’s good. I would [32:25.000 –> 32:30.000] I would recommend it. Mm hmm. Cool. I was also just trying to see if they have it planned that [32:30.000 –> 32:35.000] they want to go to Switch. I hope so. I would I would [32:35.000 –> 32:40.000] think if I don’t know anywhere in there if they had enough like buy in I think if [32:40.000 –> 32:45.000] they like. Yeah this game does well enough. I’m sure they can afford to port it. [32:45.000 –> 32:50.000] So it might just be time or if they want to spend their time elsewhere [32:50.000 –> 32:55.000] in another game or something. I don’t know. OK. So the first topic this is [32:55.000 –> 33:00.000] like so this is what they have said like quote the early access version of research story [33:00.000 –> 33:05.000] features core systems and gameplay. And then so I’m just going to like mention it and then ask you [33:05.000 –> 33:10.000] like what your thoughts are on it. So the first core gameplay system is [33:10.000 –> 33:15.000] to research farm tame and fish. And it says quote players can complete [33:15.000 –> 33:20.000] research scrolls by observing different species growing crops [33:20.000 –> 33:25.000] taming animals and fishing. There are currently 60 plus. Why not just say [33:25.000 –> 33:30.000] the number researchable so crops creatures and fish. Maybe [33:30.000 –> 33:35.000] because they like planning to like add like more as they go on. [33:35.000 –> 33:40.000] There are currently providing like a specific number [33:40.000 –> 33:45.000] then they would need to keep updating it with new updates. That’s true. So [33:46.000 –> 33:51.000] yeah. So what what are you. So let’s start with the research [33:51.000 –> 33:56.000] scrolls by observing the different species. What is how does that work. So there’s three different [33:56.000 –> 34:01.000] sorry there’s four different types of research things researchable [34:01.000 –> 34:06.000] as I guess is what they’re calling it. And they usually like there’s a lot of foraging [34:06.000 –> 34:11.000] involved in this game and that’s honestly I think the easiest way to make money early game is [34:11.000 –> 34:16.000] it’s not a huge map. So just literally during like a route like every day. [34:16.000 –> 34:21.000] So the first thing you do with like anything that you collect is find it first [34:21.000 –> 34:26.000] and then like if it’s specifically like a plant if it’s like an herb or [34:26.000 –> 34:31.000] really calling flowers and herbs or vegetables and fruits. The first thing you [34:31.000 –> 34:36.000] do is like harvest the thing. Then you have to like put it into your little mic like there’s a little [34:36.000 –> 34:41.000] microscopic. What’s the [34:41.000 –> 34:46.000] thing that lets you like zoom in closer. Microscoping glass. No it’s like [34:46.000 –> 34:51.000] the hand held glass. There we go. [34:51.000 –> 34:56.000] The microscope in your hand. Yes. The portable [34:56.000 –> 35:01.000] microscope. So so there’s like a different tab for that [35:01.000 –> 35:06.000] and there’s like different goals to I guess fully research [35:06.000 –> 35:11.000] quote unquote research a thing and that’s how you earn you earn the resource scroll. It’s very [35:11.000 –> 35:16.000] very much similar to the legends of archaea system kind of. [35:16.000 –> 35:21.000] Yeah. So you have like four four like three to four maybe three to five different tasks [35:21.000 –> 35:26.000] for each item. And then once you complete all their tasks you officially have locked to [35:26.000 –> 35:31.000] your scroll you can put in the library and you’ve officially researched this thing to its [35:31.000 –> 35:36.000] extent. And most of it is observing it [35:36.000 –> 35:41.000] like the first the first one the first task is usually observing it out [35:41.000 –> 35:46.000] like in the wild or whatever. So before you can collect seeds for plants you have [35:46.000 –> 35:51.000] to observe it like two to three times and then you can collect the seeds and then you have to actually grow the thing on your farm. [35:52.000 –> 35:57.000] And that’s how you do the you do the thing. [35:58.000 –> 36:03.000] And like the little research page that like pops up in like your research journal it’s [36:03.000 –> 36:08.000] like pretty detailed like it has like a description. So like I’m looking at camel meal it’s like a small [36:08.000 –> 36:13.000] flower with a sweet herbal scent. It shows you like what it drops. So obviously like the flower and the [36:13.000 –> 36:18.000] seeds and then the information that takes three days to grow edible blooms said to be good for brewing tea. [36:18.000 –> 36:23.000] And then it has growing conditions and foraging locations. So each. [36:23.000 –> 36:28.000] Wow. So yeah it’s very in-depth. So like you could just look at this thing and see exactly [36:28.000 –> 36:33.000] when like what season it grows in. Does it have to be close or far away from water. [36:33.000 –> 36:38.000] Does require a different type of like fertilizer. Does require a different type of soil. [36:40.000 –> 36:45.000] So it’s pretty in-depth. I really like that aspect and got a little frustrated sometimes [36:45.000 –> 36:50.000] kept planting like tomatoes and I was like why why isn’t this thing growing. And it’s because [36:50.000 –> 36:56.000] it needs to be next to a light source. So like they have like little lanterns and they even have like a shade cloth [36:56.000 –> 37:01.000] for things that need to be partial shade which is really cool. Wow. So it’s a it’s [37:01.000 –> 37:06.000] pretty in-depth. I don’t know like I can’t like I’m not super familiar with some of these plants I can’t tell [37:06.000 –> 37:12.000] like if that’s exactly the conditions you need to grow them. But I would assume they did that research [37:13.000 –> 37:18.000] research going into this game. I would hope that the [37:18.000 –> 37:23.000] game that has research in the name was researched. Right. Right. Exactly. [37:23.000 –> 37:28.000] So a couple of them I think might be like a little made up like the creatures [37:29.000 –> 37:34.000] like they have chicken but then they also have a sprout kitten which is just a cat like and [37:34.000 –> 37:39.000] has like a little plant on its head. You don’t have a sprout kitten. [37:39.000 –> 37:44.000] I don’t but I need one now. Like that is like the two [37:44.000 –> 37:49.000] like vibes that I want is like plants and cats. So it makes sense that you would [37:49.000 –> 37:54.000] put them together. Uh-huh. [37:54.000 –> 37:59.000] And like they have a grass bun which is essentially a bunny. They have a fox. [37:59.000 –> 38:04.000] The one that you are excited about is literally just called the mountain pup. [38:05.000 –> 38:10.000] Uh-huh. Yeah it’s probably supposed to be a Burmese mountain dog. Uh-huh. But the colors. [38:10.000 –> 38:15.000] So Stella my Australian Shepherd puppy she has the color like everyone says like oh [38:15.000 –> 38:20.000] Burmese. And I’m like no she’s an Australian Shepherd actually. [38:20.000 –> 38:25.000] And like I think that the tri color is actually like I’m going to look this up because [38:25.000 –> 38:30.000] I keep saying this and I don’t know if this is right. But the [38:30.000 –> 38:35.000] tri color is the original color of Australian [38:35.000 –> 38:40.000] Shepherds. Oh it just says black and white. Well [38:40.000 –> 38:45.000] dogs are so weird. Like their breeds are don’t make any sense. They’re all one species. So [38:45.000 –> 38:50.000] I don’t know. I don’t quite understand it. But yeah so she’s a so she’s a black [38:50.000 –> 38:55.000] tri. So she gets she has some she looks like a little Burmese. [38:55.000 –> 39:00.000] And but so I mean that means that the the quote [39:00.000 –> 39:05.000] unquote mountain dog and research story looks like my dog. [39:05.000 –> 39:10.000] So I saw it in the trailer and I was like I need it. I know. She is a little mountain [39:10.000 –> 39:15.000] pup. Oh my gosh I haven’t. She’s in my little mountain. Uh-huh. She is. [39:17.000 –> 39:22.000] OK. What about the fishing. Well actually there’s a lot more to the creatures too. So [39:22.000 –> 39:27.000] like let me keep going. Sorry. Keep going. Creatures. Oh you’re fine. I’m just like going in order of like this [39:27.000 –> 39:32.000] research journal. It’s like that’s the next tab. I’m like I want to go in this next order. OK. [39:32.000 –> 39:37.000] So like looking at the creatures like the same thing like you see them out in the wild to you [39:37.000 –> 39:42.000] like you pet them which we don’t recommend petting wild animals because [39:42.000 –> 39:47.000] you don’t have wild animals. Yeah please don’t. You’re going to get hurt and it’s not good for [39:47.000 –> 39:52.000] them. But anyway in this game you pet them you collect one of their like little like dropped [39:52.000 –> 39:57.000] animals like for the mountain pup. It’s a tricolor for and [39:57.000 –> 40:02.000] then you observe them out in the wild and then build a creature pen on your farm [40:02.000 –> 40:07.000] and you can house them in these creature pens which is very cute. [40:07.000 –> 40:12.000] And you just like build up like your friendship level by like feeding them and and [40:12.000 –> 40:17.000] petting them every day and then eventually they’ll like provide like some sort of produce. So the mountain pup [40:17.000 –> 40:22.000] produces bones for example and the wood ram produces milk for whatever reason. [40:22.000 –> 40:27.000] I guess it’s supposed to be a goat. I don’t know. And like the fox drops meat. [40:27.000 –> 40:32.000] My personal. I understand. My personal mountain [40:32.000 –> 40:37.000] pup finds trash. [40:38.000 –> 40:43.000] Any walk that we go on she finds every piece of trash and she [40:43.000 –> 40:48.000] wants to just chew it. But I’m going to try and teach her to like trade it so that she can [40:48.000 –> 40:53.000] so that like I’ll just start bringing trash bags or like garbage bags. And you can just clean up everything. That’s [40:53.000 –> 40:58.000] exactly. And then she finds trash and then she can bring it to me and then she puts it in the bag I’ll give her a treat [40:58.000 –> 41:03.000] and then she can find another one. And so like I need to figure out how to make it a trick. [41:03.000 &ndash

In episode 132 Marc Romboy takes you on a journey to space with new music from Ivory, Tal Fussman, Carlo Ruetz, Chloé and many more... 1.) Final Request – "Closed Doors" 2.) Florian Kruse & Kevin_Knapp -"Rhythm Speech (Original_Mix)" 3.) Kollektiv Turmstrasse - (T) Error (Original_Mix) 4.) Sian - "I Fall Deep" (Original_Mix) 5.) Tal Fussman - "Oh Ok" 6.) Carlo Ruetz - X1 (Original Mix) 7.) Chloé – Night Rider (Original Mix) 8.) Marc van Linden & D-Gor – "Future" (Fur Coat Remix) 9.) Tiga – "Mind Dimension" (Ben Sterling Remix) 10.) Whitesquare – "Inside Your Soul" (Original Mix) 11.) Bawrut – "Biscotti" (Original Mix) 12.) JAMIIE – "Voices" (DJEFF Remix) 13.) Roman Adam – "She Said" (Original Mix) 14.) Trikk – "Regado" (Club Edit) 15.) Ivory – "I Know What You Want" This show is syndicated & distributed exclusively by Syndicast. If you are a radio station interested in airing the show or would like to distribute your podcast / radio show please register here: https://syndicast.co.uk/distribution/registration

EPISODE 95: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: You'll be happy to know that Kevin McCarthy, whose only gift is making up excuses for the violent, insane, anti-democracy, murderous, treacherous, traitorous, seditious mob otherwise known as "The Republican Party," has reassured us that when Marjorie Taylor Greene said SHE would've "won" the January 6th Coup, she was just being "facetious." (2:11) So now, what rationalization will he come up with Rep. Ralph Norman and his text of 1/17/21 urging that Trump get busy "invoking Marshall (sic) Law!?" There's quite a few of these McCarthy needs to excuse: the Republicans who want to hang Democrats, who want to hang them from cranes, or put them before firing squads. What words might he choose? (7:05) And how would he describe what Trailer Park Greene asked Laura Loomer to find out about McCarthy's own "affairs"? (8:19) And what word would we use if McCarthy grew a pair and acted to expel Marjorie Taylor Greene under the Rebellion Clause of the 14th Amendment? B-Block (11:55) EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: Zenith in New York (13:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Senate progress to close the coup loophole? Commutations in Oregon. And the Drag Show Must Go On. (14:46) IN SPORTS: The NBA does an odd job in suddenly naming all its awards after its greatest players. How is a guy who played in nine finals and lost eight of them, to be the face of the "Clutch" Award? And this raises the question of re-naming hockey awards. If the people for whom they are named are not worthy, you should find new faces, yes? That means the racist Conn Smythe. Does it also mean the colonialist anti-native Lord Stanley? (19:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Brittney Griner's situation is original but not unique as The Wall Street Journal claims; many ex-prisoner athletes have played again - including one who played in the country that imprisoned him! Plus Rudy Giuliani changes the Hunter Biden laptop story AGAIN. But can they compete with Elon "I Might Be Elizabeth Holmes Only With A Higher Voice" Musk and his new scheme to cut costs by not paying his debts. C-Block (24:42) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I went past my first New York Apartment the other day. It was a great place for $483 a month. Until that night I noticed that the light peeking in around my shades was way too bright because somebody had thrown a Molotov Cocktail into our lobby!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Well, we've finally gone and done it!  After spending multiple episodes last season digging into Athens, GA music with some of the scene's most pivotal figures, the Randomizer has decided that it's time to dedicate an entire episode to the Classic (Alternative) City!  We discuss so many greats in this episode, from REM, The B-52's, Pylon, Love Tractor, Oh-OK, Magnapop, Kilkenny Cats, Flat Duo Jets, Bar-B-Que Killers, The Method Actors, The Glands, Matthew Sweet, Of Montreal, The Michael Guthrie Band, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Side Effects, Green Thrift Grocery and a lot more.  If you've got Georgia on your mind, then this is the episode for you.   Oh, and did we mention Squalls?  Because our Third Lad this week is another Athens luminary, Bob Hay from Squalls.  Squalls played a unique brand of quirky pop that was equal parts Lovin' Spoonful, Grateful Dead and Talking Heads, and got many a person up on the dance floor from 1981 to 1989.  They released four recordings and were included in the essential 1986 documentary on the scene, Athens, GA: Inside/Out.   We are celebrating the release of Live From The 40 Watt, capturing Squalls at their best with 24 tracks recorded live at the legendary 40 Watt Club by soundman Pat "The Wiz" Biddle over five nights from 1983-85.  The album is now available on CD, 2 LPs or digitally from Strolling Bones Records.  More info: https://strollingbonesrecords.com On November 4, 2022, Propeller Sound Recordings will begin their reissue campaign of the Squalls studio catalogue, starting with a remastered and expanded full-length version of their 1984 self-titled debut EP.  More info: https://propellersoundrecordings.com For all the latest Squalls news, visit http://squalls.band/ Special thanks to Pylon's Vanessa Briscoe Hay, Leigh Rixey from Strolling Bones Records and Angie Carlson from Propeller Publicity for their help in making this all come together!  

We're going sixty on this one, but ain't no need to count the minute-miles,or watch Schindler's List in your head, cuz it's a good'n. Join the JERKS in the Cantina at Mos-Dakota on Watooine, as they discuss spiders, spell checks, and “ouu would you look at that combine! That's a million plus” … sorry got distracted… and dad's loving a good piece of equipment. “How long is it going to be?”“About three hours.”“Oh OK, so just one Schindler's List, cool.” “I'm sorry to the listeners… but not.” The Long Island JoeLita™ #F%&kPetFees #CheapDads #SensibleMoms #CheapMoms #SensibleDads #F%&kThatHotelClerkThatLikesHisJob #ScamJuicers

The whole world is in the process of being destroyed by horrible flooding and blazing heat and everyone is going to die unless something happens soon, so I'm gonna distract myself by playing some Pokemon.

We talking and educating IG/kash_is_money twitter/kashismoney --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/kashmere-jackson/message

X-Men: Dark Phoenix aka X-Men...no Wolverine? Oh. Ok.

Willpower ALWAYS wanes. No one, at any given moment, has an infinite amount of willpower. Willpower is LIMITED. And so, it's no surprise that environment is stronger than willpower. Because while your willpower comes and goes, environments persist. “Oh OK! I guess there's not helping it. There's no other option except to give in to…” We're going to stop you right there! We never said you have to give in and give up. Despite strong influences of an environment, you ALWAYS have a choice. You can beat the environment when you have the discipline to make the difficult choices. With the right training and the right mindset, YOU CAN obtain the discipline needed to stick to your goals even when the odds are stacked against you. It starts with managing yourself against the environment. It starts with focusing on the things that you can control. It starts with planning ahead and considering all available options instead of letting the environment test your integrity and eventually succumbing to temptations. And these all hold true for weight loss and health. Are you going to get sugary temptations get the better of you or will you chuck ‘em out of the house before they get the chance to reel you in? Are you going to choose to recommit daily to achieving goal weight or will you leave your health in the feeble hands of willpower? Discipline and decisiveness trumps environment! When it comes to health, you don't want to leave it up to chance. You want have certainty in the form of discipline, and that's exactly what we're going to help you build today! Tune in to this week's episode to learn more about focusing on your circle of influence, managing yourself against the environment and setting yourself up for success in health and in life. ------------------------------------------- Have you seen our new app?  Even when your other social platforms are unavailable we are here for you on the Code Red App www.coderedlifestyle.com/app Lose your first, next, or last 10 pounds with absolutely NO pills, powders, shakes, or exercise required.  Click Below to join the challenge! http://bit.ly/10lbtakedown Be sure to grab your copy of my book, The Code Red Revolution here.  http://bit.ly/coderedbook Grab your very own Code Red water bottle today.  The link is below! https://bit.ly/crwaterbottle Connect with Cristy: Facebook http://bit.ly/cristycoderedfb Instagram http://bit.ly/cristycoderedIG LinkedIn http://bit.ly/cristycoderedLI YouTube

Lots in the news this week to recap. Later, should kids under 18 be able to decide for themselves if they want the vaccine or not? And a question from a neighborhood discussion board prompts a convo on where are the villages that used to raise these kids? Plus, new Line Em Ups and an inspiration Guess What! Follow us on Instagram @hmhspodcast and on FaceBook "His Mama, Her Son Podcast." Send your letters for Ms. Vicki to answer to hismamaherson@gmail.com

Von endlosen Sommernächten am Strand in Australien inspiriert, entwickelte Jess Karan ihre eigene Schmuckmarke „OH OK Studio“. Sie erzählt, wie sie sich diesen Traum ermöglicht hat und was zum Designen von hochqualitativen Schmuck auch finanziell dazu gehört.

Episodio donde Wisto casi pierde su vuelo de regreso, confirman producción para The Goonies 2 y Gremlins 3, la historia de Leeroy Jenkins, 1ra bruja de 4: Frau Perchta, y terminamos con la reseña con spoilers sobre Malignant de James Wan. Escúchanos: Spotify / Apple Podcast / ivoox / YouTube Apóyanos: patreon.com/holamsupernova Síguenos: Twitter/ Instagram: holamsupernova

A punderful Sunday crossword, with a suuuuubtle theme: and to unpack and decode all of that, download and listen up to today's podcast!

This week Gemma has a special, mysterious guest with her... Oh OK! It's James.. He's BACK BABY!!! :)  Check out the random "Codswallop" we talk about tapes (yes, those old things that were out before CD's (in the "olden days")... and yes, CD's came before MP3 players) returning from the dead, #SaltyTadpoleInteractions with their Mythological creatures, #Codswallop's and much more laughs along the way. Clear those bladders before listening to this episode, you might find you laugh so hard a little bit of wee wee comes out.  Shout outs this week: Melissa from The Brook Reading Podcast & The Doctor Squee Show and of course, you lovely Tadpoles who look part with the #SaltyTadpoleInteraction.  To find out more information about the charity 24 hour LIVE Squeef3st, visit @DoctorSquee on Twitter & Instagram or visit Iain's facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TheDoctorSqueeShow. More special guests to be announced soon.. IF this is your first time listening to Talking Codswallop, please can we ask you to follow Talking Codswallop on Facebook, Instagram + Twitter @CodswallopPod. REMEMBER TO CLICK SUBSCRIBE to the podcast to get all of the up to date episodes. We love our current audience, but we are always looking to grow. #IndiePodcastsNeedYourHelp!!! 

On the Ima Get In Trouble Podcast, Eddie Liles, Loy Lee, and Terrance Gawith argue, talk trash, and have coming to christ conversations. They don't always agree, but it is always entertaining to watch them try to prove a point. One thing is for sure, no topic is off the table even if someones gonna get in trouble. Follow along with the conversation live on Facebook from the Ima Get in Trouble Podcast page and listen after on everywhere you find podcasts like Spotify and Apple Podcasts.

On the Ima Get In Trouble Podcast, Eddie Liles, Loy Lee, and Terrance Gawith argue, talk trash, and have coming to christ conversations. They don't always agree, but it is always entertaining to watch them try to prove a point. One thing is for sure, no topic is off the table even if someones gonna get in trouble. Follow along with the conversation live on Facebook from the Ima Get in Trouble Podcast page and listen after on everywhere you find podcasts like Spotify and Apple Podcasts. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/imagetintrouble/support

  We had such a great time with Linda Hopper that we couldn't fit everything into just one show! Linda shares some amazing stories from her career from coming up in the early '80s Athens scene with Oh-OK, through to the heady '90s alt-rock with Magnapop, to present day....and the talented musicians with whom she's played and crossed paths - including Lynda Stipe, Matthew Sweet, REM, Bob Mould, Pylon, Mitch Easter, Love Tractor, Willie Nelson, Ruthie Morris and more.   That's two hours of O3L for you this week. Who do we think we are...Uriah Heep?!?

What time is it? It's APT (Athens Party Time), y'all, because we're hanging out with the magnificent LINDA HOPPER from OH-OK and MAGNAPOP to discuss some of our favorite short songs of the O3L era. So grab a White Claw or some Willie Weed, sit back and enjoy the show. This is O3L At Our Best (exclamation point!).   We had such a great time with Linda that we couldn't fit everything into just one show! Be sure to check out our bonus episode for much more of our conversation.  Linda shares some amazing stories from her career from coming up in the early '80s Athens scene with Oh-OK, through to the heady '90s alt-rock with Magnapop, to present day....and the talented musicians with whom she's played and crossed paths - including Lynda Stipe, Matthew Sweet, REM, Bob Mould, Pylon, Mitch Easter, Love Tractor, Willie Nelson, Ruthie Morris and more.    That's two hours of O3L for you this week. Who do we think we are...Uriah Heep?!?

Propaganda Expert Is In Trouble For… Teaching About PropagandaIrony Deficiency and Truth Decay in “Not-See” AmericaAired Tuesday, April 27, 2021 at 2:00 PM PST / 5:00 PM ESTDisclaimer: The views expressed on this show are those of the host and guests and do not necessarily reflect the views of OMTimes Media.Interview with Author, Journalist and Professor Mark Crispin Miller“Notseeism: Deadly disease of the body politic where people choose to not see what is too uncomfortable to look at.” — Swami BeyondanandaAs the Swami has been telling us for years now, the body politic is one sick puppy, suffering from irony deficiency … truth decay … electile dysfunction … and most recently from bi-polar disorder.As a result, what we used to call democracy is in the intensive care unit – and those who intensively care about its survival are finding themselves more and more marginalized. Fortunately, we still have that bastion of truth, academia, where in the spirit of the Free Speech Movement more than half a century ago, academic freedom is alive and well as professors and students freely and frankly discuss the most divisive issues of our time.Oh … wait a minute.That must be happening in a parallel universe.In this universe, a professor who has literally written the book on propaganda – or at least wrote the preface to one – is on the verge of being fired for teaching about propaganda. His crime? Pointing out the propaganda being promoted by the university itself.Fortunately, his colleagues at the university have bravely rallied around him, and …Oh … OK. That too is happening in a parallel universe.Oh, well. All’s well that ends Orwell.Our guest today, Mark Crispin Miller, has been fighting “notseeism” for decades, courageously pointing out those uncomfortable truths that others choose to not see. Now he is embroiled in his own battle to keep his position at NYU, after unmasking the propaganda about masking, and being guilty of “hate speech” – now defined as saying anything that the power structure hates to hear.Mark Crispin Miller earned his bachelor’s degree from Northwestern University in 1971, and his doctorate in English from Johns Hopkins University in 1977. He is currently a Professor of Media, Culture and Communication at New York University. He is the author of several books, including, The Bush Dyslexicon: Observations on a National Disorder, Cruel and Unusual: Bush/Cheney’s New World Order and Fooled Again: The Real Case for Electoral Reform (2007).Miller is the editor of Forbidden Bookshelf, an e-book series that revives important works now out of print, most of which were variously killed at birth. He also wrote the introduction to the 2004 edition of Edward Bernays’ book Propaganda. He is also editor of News From the Underground.If you believe in the credo of the Great Upwising, the truth shall UPSET you free, please join us this Tuesday, April 27th at 2 pm PT / 5 pm ET.To watch an eye-opening and jaw-dropping conversation about Mark’s ordeal, please go here: https://www.corbettreport.com/interview-1633-mark-crispin-miller-exposes-propaganda-in-the-academy/And to find out about and support his libel lawsuit, go here: https://markcrispinmiller.com/Support Wiki Politiki — A Clear Voice In the “Bewilderness”If you LOVE what you hear, and appreciate the mission of Wiki Politiki, “put your money where your mouse is” … Join the “upwising” — join the conversation, and become a Wiki Politiki supporter: http://wikipolitiki.com/join-the-upwising/Make a contribution in any amount via PayPal (https://tinyurl.com/y8fe9dks)Go ahead, PATRONIZE me! Support Wiki Politiki monthly through Patreon!Visit the Wiki Politiki Show page https://omtimes.com/iom/shows/wiki-politiki-radio-show/Connect with Steve Bhaerman at https://wakeuplaughing.com/#MarkCrispinMiller #Propaganda #SteveBhaerman #WikiPolitiki

We've got a Big Rig to get to the Big Gig! Your favourite video game podcast is back to talk all things Gene Simmons—his Twitter presence, that time he was meant to play with The Melvins but Spinal Tap happened instead, his weird... vault thing, everything you're here for, right? Oh OK, we also discuss, well, a lot of stuff, including Persona 5 Strikers, Hamish's Rubik's Cube obsession, Nico's DOOM speedrun dominance, Call of Duty Black Ops Cold War and well-intentioned people taking the most depressingly conservative views on the purpose of art as possible, as well as checking in on Nico's progress in Deadly Premonition 2 and Hamish's slog through Twin Peaks' awful second season. We also preview a potentially hilarious new segment coming next week. Thanks for listening! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/writingongamescast/support

Podcast #544 plays some of that stuff you like w/ Berwanger, The Cheap Cassettes, Hayley and the Crushers, Oh-OK, Nervous Twitch, Language Of Flowers, Hospital Bracelet, Strange New Places, & Ryan Allen.

Today on the PRmoment podcast I'm catching up with Marc Allenby, ECD of both Harvard and Eat the Fox; the tech Marketing & PR agencies, part of the Chime Group and Daniel Maynard, vice president, Communications, Media (Television & Direct-to-Consumer) Europe & Africa at The Walt Disney Company.Before we start just a reminder for all of you that the PRmoment Awards are now open for entries or the details on the awards microsite PRmomentAwards.com.We talk about Marc and Daniel's experiences as gay men working in the creative sector.Here’s a summary of what we discussed:1.00 min How self-confidence shines through into all of our work.3.50 mins Do either Marc or Daniel feel that being gay has had a detrimental impact on their careers in the creative sector?7.20 mins Marc and Daniel discuss the issue of coming out at work and that awkward “Oh OK” moment they sometimes get from colleagues!12.25 mins Marc tells us about the first time he came out at work - drunk at the Christmas party!13.30 mins Marc talks about his traumatic childhood memories of growing up feeling “different”.17 mins Daniel describes how as a gay person, as opposed other minority groups, you have to declare yourselve as being gay, otherwise people just don’t know.21 mins How can a company create an inclusive culture towards gay people and other minority groups?28 mins Why positive role models are so important for all of us.37 mins Why we need to all love who we are and celebrate diversity!39 mins If an individual is opposed to you because of who you are - don’t stand for it. It’s illegal.41.30 mins We finish with the Oscar Wilde quote: “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken”.

This is New Richmond Podcast Episode 13 "Oh, OK Pootie!" FEAT Domico Phillips! New Richmond Podcast was created to shine a light on the city. We want to promote creatives, athletes, politicians, cooks, teachers, businesses, students, or anyone who is doing anything in Richmond, Va. Period. Hope you enjoy! SUPPORT THE PODCAST BY BECOMING A PATRON! https://www.patreon.com/newrichmondpo... SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE NEW RICHMOND CONTENT! IN THIS VIDEO: Keon Holliday Teimon Phillips Domico Phillips FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA!! NEW RICHMOND PODCAST Twitter - @NewRichmondShow Instagram - @newrichmondpodcast TEIMON PHILLIPS Twitter - @_ _CallMeeTee Instagram - @teimonphillips KEON HOLLIDAY Twitter - @social_ntellect Instagram - @socialntellect DOMICO PHILLIPS Instagram - @domicophillips Credits: Intro Track: NuKe Major - Lay Low (feat Keon) Instrumental Produced By Roxx Hagen

Fred Thomas joins Bob Nastanovich and Mike Hogan to talk Detroit music, live music, and recording music on the night before Thanksgiving. Along with a couple songs by Fred, there were songs from Funkadelic, Galen, Sung Water, Dr. Pete Larson and His Cytotoxic Nyatiti Band, Boldy James & Sterling Toles, Roachclip, 10cc, Oh-OK, Evan Parker & John Wiese, Steel Pole Bath Tub, and Steely Dan, plus a BBC documentary on the making of 10cc's mega hit "I'm Not In Love."

Spoiler Alert: We talk about our Halloween hijinks, Election hijinks, damn that's too many hijinks. So you got us, we did not edit this the day it was recorded, lets see how far into the episode it takes you to realize.  Make sure to share us with a friend ;)  

(listener discretion advice) YOUR PRESIDENT IS TRYING TO MAKE SURE YOUR VOTE DON'T GET COUNTED.......really? Seriously? And you TRUMPETTS are seriously cool with that? HE COULD BE TALKING ABOUT YOUR VOTE PEOPLE, we told this man could give a rats ass about anybody, YOU,ME, YOUR MOMMA, DADDY, GRANDPARENTS, and you really are down with that???? WHAT KIND OF F**KING AMERICANS ARE YOU? now this is what you should BE TREADING ON, or GIVE ME LIBERTY OR DEATHING ON, but since TANGOS said stop counting......OH OK, MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS CAN TAKE A BACK SEAT ON THIS ONE.....MAKE AMERICA.....OK STOP BEING GREATING.....AGAIN

FYTA present a series of 26 thematic shows, one for every letter of the english alphabet. Each show introduces concepts, philosophers, poets and music projects whose name starts from each specific letter. This week's letter is O; FYTA talk about: Orpheus, opera, over-identification, OnlyFans, opinions, offensive humour, obvious Music by: Otto Kentrol, Officer!, Orthotonics, Observers Observing Observables, Oh OK, Östro 430, Originalton Philosopher of the week: William of Ockham Poet of the week: Frank O'Hara

This is an episode with me sharing some info on a few subjects and truthfully just having a conversation with my listening audience. Enjoy lol........ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kev-stone3/support

Aussie Stereotypes and cross pollination of countries and cultures within as Sam talks about being born in Tehran and growing up in Oz and friendly TSA now that he lives in the States. Cineholica with Guillermo as we talk about Tom Hanks and Aussie Directors and Jason being Jabo, everyone's favorite character Down Under 

This week, the iLLogical gang [finally] discuss the Insecure season 4 finale (7:20), as well as Noname's response to J. Cole (15:46). Later, the guys talk about Teyana Taylor's 'The Album' (28:25), the latest Verzuz battle between Alicia Keys and John Legend (1:05:12), Swizz Beatz's choice words for Drake (1:19:42), breakfast brands cleaning up their racist images (1:43:22), NASCAR's investigation into a possible noose found in Bubba Wallace's garage (1:54:26) and more. Other music reviews include City Girls' 'City on Lock', Wale's 'The Imperfect Storm', Tee Grizzley's 'The Smartest', Curren$y's & Fuse's 'Spring Cleaning' and John Legend's ‘Bigger Love'.

A heartbreaking tale of pending closure of a fabulous bakery, hawker stalls who cook for social good and a vision of a future where you can pick fresh durians on every street for free. All this and more as hosts Petrina Kow and Laurindo Garcia examine how lessons learned from the coronavirus could ensure no one goes hungry in a post-pandemic world. Guests: Juwanda Hassim -Fabulous Baker Boys, Jason Chua - Beng Who Cooks, Siew Yen Chong - food poverty volunteer, Bjorn Low - Edible Garden City and musician, Joshua Simon. TRANSCRIPT *SOUND EFFECTS: MOTORCYCLE* Laurindo Garcia: [00:00:05] In the time of Covid 19 delivery bikes are now the king of the road. Home delivery was previously viewed as a luxury. But now delivery bikes from Foodpanda delivery to Grab Food are all essential services, and millions of people rely on them to get the food that they need to bring to the table. So, Petrina, I want to ask you, has how is food delivery usage changed for you during the and then haha. Petrina Kow: [00:00:31] Interestingly, I think I found that we, we try and deliver less now because we, we also are very cognizant of the wastage with all the packaging material. So in fact so, so my cooking, as you know, if you're following on social media, has been up several levels. No, I mean I just have to provide for a family. So I cook a lot more now. And so if we do buy takeout, we we we kind of use that as an opportunity to go and pick up the food so that we can kind of like work in a trip out of the house, you know, legitimately. Right. As we're kind of being locked down. So, yeah, I, I we try and deliver as little as possible if we can. And if we can't, we just get stuff delivered anyways. Yeah. So yeah, Laurindo Garcia: [00:01:18] On our end it's been more of a special treat. We are eating at home more and cooking for ourselves, which has been really good. But for me I one of the people who's had to celebrate their birthday in isolation. And so I took that as an opportunity to look for a special meal that usually I wouldn't have had a home delivery. But I was really quite surprised at what was available. It was a 12 course vegan Korean meal that was delivered to the door, you know, piping hot. And it was really quite amazing. So I was really quite awed by what was what was available. So, yeah, there's some of the things that you do during during the pandemic. But I also want to welcome everyone to another episode of inclusively in this series. First of all, my name is Laurindo Garcia. And this series, we are asking the question how people are changing the way that they work or do business during the pandemic and what lessons that you've had you have learned that have the potential to make the post pandemic worldwide. Petrina Kow: [00:02:23] Yeah. And hello, everyone. My name is Petrina and this topic is very close to my heart. As a big food lover and food eater myself, so I'm very excited about today's episode because we have guests from all over the world joining us and we have some really wonderful local heroes that are going to chat with as well. Laurindo Garcia: [00:02:45] So before we kick off with the interviews, it's going to kind of set the tone here. So before the pandemic, you know, according to The Economist, you know, food was generally more affordable around the globe for four people more than ever before, and fewer people were hungry than previous generations. So it's according to the most recent edition of The Economist. But all that has changed because the pandemic, as you've heard there, have been empty supermarket shelves and wet markets due to the panic buying during the early days of the pandemic. And now several months after that, one trillion dollar global food supply chain has demonstrated its present resilience with some really fast adaptations to me by companies. But all that being said, there are still some risks that lie in food security and less so on the supply side, but definitely on the demand side. It's no surprise for people to hear that they've been massive job losses. Now people have lost their income and have less money to spend on food. And the United Nations just announced last month that they are worried that the number of people who were at risk of hunger has doubled as a result of the coronavirus. They're estimating that 265 million people are at risk of hunger. Hunger now as a result of changes have been happening in the world. And underlying thread in all of this is that there are hundreds there's a possibility of higher food prices if food exporting countries start imposing export restrictions. So that's really giving us a big picture of what what is the subtext of our conversation today? Petrina Kow: [00:04:21] Yeah, and also in today's episode, we'll be speaking with two local food outlets on how they've adapted to the situation, whether or not they have to endure sort of closures or how they've kind of responded to the community around them. And we'll also be hearing from a Singaporean living in London, a dear, dear friend of mine who's also very involved with food and teaching low income families there how to cook healthy and delicious meals for under a pound a day. Laurindo Garcia: [00:04:49] We'll also be speaking to a pioneer for urban farming who's also joining and a social entrepreneur who's joining us from Australia. And later on in the show, we'll be hearing from musician Joshua Simon. He'll be sharing his perspective on food during the time of Covid 19 and also offering us a song. Petrina Kow: [00:05:04] Yeah. Can't wait. But first, my absolute pleasure to introduce the one and only Fabulous Baker Boy Juwanda Hassim. Hello, darling. Juwanda Hassim: [00:05:04] Hello, Petrina. Hello, Laurindo. Petrina Kow: [00:05:19] Yes. So for those of you who were from Singapore, you might have indulged in many of his cakes before. I think that's what he's known for. Its legendary row, shelves of deliciousness. And his lovely cafe sits at the bottom of Fort Canning Hill. And I think he's definitely experienced all kinds of things. Give given the last three or four weeks of mayhem. So perhaps, Juwanda, you could just tell us a little bit about, you know, you were able to keep going and then you couldn't. How have you pivoted? How have you made sort of adjustments and changes in how are you doing? Juwanda Hassim: [00:06:00] So when when the virus first broke out, it was so clear in January and February mean somebody was coming. Oh. What the situation was going to be. Business was great because we're we're we're not as affected as the malls or an enclosed space because we're being we're to the park. So we're outside. So people were not included in the area. There wasn't any air conditioning outside. People come into my area. I saw a lot of people sort of come come with their families, family support simply in the park. The average started decreasing. And 10, 20 per cent, but we're still OK. Then social distancing started. And that really hit. The. Then so sorry. Then the MBS tower closed. You know, that day when the government just closed all buildings because, once one floor was affected. And then the next day, the repercussions was immediate because we have nobody lunch. Everybody was made to work from home, mostly because we were located near the business district. Not so much where people lived. So in that when that happened, this was dropped maybe 30, 40 percent. And then the weekend we saw a resurgence. Right. Because people still wanted to come out. People who were worried about people needed to get out a bit. So people still ordered their cakes. People still came out and that was a first week and then the second week they implemented the social distancing. And that was immediate for us because we had a shut. We were not allowed to open until everything was checked by National Parks. Thank god, we have an extended space area which included the gallery. So my cafe is a very tight 60, 60 seater and gallery space which is was empty. We cleared out the gallery space and we made the space even bigger, which could set about maybe 60 seats. That went very well at this point. I was just restructuring at this point, take aways was still not a thing. People were encourage deliveries were encouraged. But it was still not a thing. I was just restructuring my take away business, online business. It was steady, it was growing and then was social distancing the week after really hit. I majorly went online. I will push up 20 percent of cakes and five off delivery of islandwide. Because I couldn't depend on the delivery systems, which was like Deliveroo or Foodpanda because they're too expensive. And they do not service the areas I needed to service. And so my friend Rubina, who owned a wedding event company, said take my van and I got one of my managers to drive. And so that was our system. So we got the orders in and orders started coming in. It was a lot of ways. We were doing 21, 20, 30 orders a day. We had call in for another vehicle. And then suddenly the park was all shut immediately that night, when they park they shut the parks. The next morning I had to reimburse 10000. I had to return. We would refund customers ten thousand dollars just that morning. Everything overnight, everything was just shut. And then since yesterday, some places. Most places are allowed to open. But places in the parks are still closed. So I am just at home cooking for my neighbours, my, my friends and stuff. So how it has affected me is affected me really greatly. I mean, I mean, I spend three days of my non-carb days just eating carbs, not knowing what the hell I'm going to do. And just three days just filling myself with carbs. I really did like. You know, the first thing was to to how am I going to keep my guys? I've got I've got I'm really not using my fifteen part timers, they are so poor thing. And then I've got to two cooks, two bakers. Two. One manager and one barista one guy on the floor. Three of them were foreigners. How do we do this, right? So there was my it was it was kind of emotionally not great, but I worked through there, had to do what I had to do. Things are. Things are better. But not as great as I wish it could be. When come. When this. I basically I have one more month before my business shuts in July, July. Only because of the lease. We we're we're finishing up the lease with National Parks. And because of the situation, I haven't been able look for a new space. I haven't been able to do anything. I've been talking to agents. I mean, everything on my hands are tied. I can't even keep my guys on a retailer because I don't know when I'm going to start again. You know, so obviously, my first Zoom. This is only my second Zune meeting. So my first Zoom meeting, was telling all my staff we're shutting down in July. So the first week of July the Fabulous Baker Boy will shut down. And then we'll see what's going to happen and then we'll see how, because they can't do anything at this point. Petrina Kow: [00:11:14] Yeah. Good Lord. I think that might be. Is that news for everybody? Because it feels like this is big news. This is the first time I'm hearing this that you're going to be shut in July. Juwanda Hassim: [00:11:26] I think I told you I don't think I showed you just snippets, you know, and some because I was really depressed about just thinking about it because we were doing well. We were doing so well. I mean, just in and in just three, just I knew we were going to be badly hurt. But they didn't realize it was gonna be this bad. Petrina Kow: [00:11:45] Yeah. Yeah. Like, pulled the rug from under you. And. Juwanda Hassim: [00:11:50] Because I can't do any it. I can't do anything. I can't. I kind of go out. And even if I have the funds and you don't know what the situation is going to be, how long it's going to stretch. It might only clear next July, you know. Yeah so what you going to do? Petrina Kow: [00:12:07] Well, thank you for sharing so honestly, Juwanda. I mean, I think about all the various different restaurants that, you know, are pushing their take away menus out and trying their best. We have. Thank you so much. I mean, we have another, you know, two guys who've come from a space that have managed to carry on because they're located. They happen to be located in an area that was not shut down. These are Jason and Chen Long from Beng Who Cooks. Hello, Jason. I'm talking to Jason right? Jason Chua: [00:12:40] Yeah, there isn't. Hi, guys. I'm Jason from Beng Who Cooks. Petrina Kow: [00:12:45] So, I mean, you guys are in a food centre. So if you guys don't know who cooks are, they do these lovely, delicious and healthy for food bowls at Hong Lim Food Centre. They're very popular. And I think how I got to know you guys was because of some social media that was share, because of what you guys were doing in response to this pandemic and which was that you were going to provide free meals for whoever who needed it. And as a result of that, I think you had one of your customers start a foundation with you, right called Beng Who Cooks Foundation that basically started to provide these meals for free for all these people who, you know, are struggling to even have a nutritious meal for themselves. So tell me what what has been what it's been like for you guys? I mean, I know you're at your stall right now, Jason Chua: [00:13:36] Basically all over the whole thing, right? I mean, we CBD area. I mean, Baker Boys should understand you CBD area. Business has already been affected since Christmas then later new year, then Chinese New Year. Then that was when Covid comes in. So me and my partners pay cut has been taking maybe. I mean, we are a small stall so our pay cut. We used to take like 1.5, 1.8. But nowadays we just take around 200 dollars a month. I mean, we we we are a food stall. I mean, we can cook all our meals are settled here. But overall business has already been bad. And even since the extension right. The announcement of extension on that day right the whole business has been crumbling around the whole centre. It's just not our stall. I mean. Also for like chicken rice stalls, those traditional western food. Even the one. Those one Michelin star food that they don't have a queue at all. You can just eat it and just come in order anytime, anywhere. They would just be able to serve you within five minutes. And their attitude has changed, I mean, sometimes they used to be very cocky, but nowadays I think everybody is desperate for business and they're all "Hi hi hi. Thank you. Thank you for coming". Yeah. Everybody is humbled down by this Covid. So sometimes this Covid it show a lot of humanity's side maybe to me I feel. Petrina Kow: [00:14:49] Yeah. I mean, that's that's a good tip. Now I know I can finally go and eat my soya sauce chicken. No, but I mean, that's not the point. But I think also, apart from that, do you feel like what what made you and your partner decide to. Start to do these meals for the community, Jason Chua: [00:15:06] Basically, because, well, my friend. Is because this announcement about these was on 6 April before the CB has started. That's right. She texted us saying that can we provide meals for needy people. And this was all before circuit breaker even announced. And I say we all wanted to do this. It's just that we don't finance backing. And that's when he told me. Okay. Don't worry about the finance. You guys just do. I'll figure out the finance. Of course, we really know, because as long as I be able to work out. I'll be able to come our the house, I'll still cook. Now, I said I'll do. Then initially it started on the on. The first meal was given was on 8 April. Then that's where caught news of like Fiona Xie. Channel News Asia. DJ Ross. And that's where it start sharing. That's were it's overwhelmed. We started giving our own 80 to 100 plus a day of free bowls, which I think is very unreasonable for the peopel sponsoring us for a meals because it's only one guy  sponsoring and there's like 600 plus 600 to 700 dollars. And this includes meal delivery. And that's why we start changing and implementing a lot of different rules. Like, nowadays I have to admit that, OK, I used to give 80 bowls a day. Now I only hive 30 bowls a day. Because there's a lot people that are not suitable to accept this meal. You had people wearing Rolex coming down to take free meals from you. Yeah, these's are some of the people coming down to take your free meals because we don't question them. That's not then that's where we start implementing the delivery charge and the delivery charge will chase away, people who are not really needy. Then when we see them they are carry, if they are carrying like branded bags or anything, right? We just chase them away. We we are not even giving them. But the main this is, we're ok with giving them because end of day we just want. We just want people ask us nicely. Because we have a lot of people asking free food like. Hey I demand you to give me this, I demand you to give me that. They use the word demand. Instead of can I have a meal? Or anything. We do reject a lot more than we give nowadays because we find that there's really people who needs it more than most people that is being accepted by society. There's a lot of outcasts that Singaporean don't see. Petrina Kow: [00:17:26] I mean, I'm just curious because, you know, we we we all serving for myself and my my two friends, Janice and Pam, we we started a foundation. It started Pasar Glamour Art Aid. And even for something as as simple as that, just even coming up with a form to try and sift out people who might sort of abuse the system was so complex, you know, so I can't imagine if it's just as simple as here's a meal. I mean, from a very simple idea of wanting to help. Right. It somehow brings out, you know, different all kinds of different people. Right. So, you know, I think moving forward, if if you just sort of if you do, would you continue to do this again or would you continue the the foundation program past the Covid period. You think. Jason Chua: [00:18:10] We will. We will. We promise like those people on our social media and especially Instagram. We thought, as long as Beng Who Cooks survive right, Beng Who Cares Foundation will also survive or because these things are interlinked it is just that we won't do delivery anymore. So if you're one you can just come down and at least tell us one day advance so that we are expecting our guests instead of. Like if you come down and we charge you. And say I have no money. And they'll be very troublesome. So. As long as Beng Cooks operate right, we'll keep giving out free meals, because if you if ever if ever you did something right you don't stop half way. I mean I just like, do it all the way. Petrina Kow: [00:18:47] That's wonderful. And would you I mean, would you like the public to be able to help, meaning with the foundation? Can people donate to it so that they can keep the, you know, the support going? Jason Chua: [00:18:57] No, because really, I myself, I wanted to set up of like a charity organization or something. But the procedure is not as easy as what everybody thinks. If you want to donate money or I do invest money issuing both. Right. Finance. Is on a different ballgame, because that's why I refuse to take any donations, even on dry goods and dry supplies right. Right. Everything I recommend do not give anything because we want to cater to vegetarian. Relocate to last last. If you'll give right. We are not sure if your stuff is halal or your stuff is a vegetarian. That's why we are avoiding people to donate money or even supply, because it's just not fair for who we are feeding. So to us. If you want to pay we will bear all the cost on ourselves and openness. Petrina Kow: [00:19:42] Well, I just want to be on behalf of everyone, say thank you for your wonderful endeavors and your efforts. I think, you know, we just need to have more people like you, man Jason, and to know that we need more beings these days. Jason Chua: [00:19:58] Okay. Maybe call it a humble bread or something. I feel that after we start this foundation. Right. There is really a lot of people copying this template, but it is good. Because a number of decreasing meals are also a sign of more helping. Yeah, I. What is it is the rejection helps, but it's also more people stepping up to provide free meals. Because even there's a NUS student giving out meals. That's the umbrella initiate giving out meals. So I'm glad it. I don't know that it is because of me on wall, but is a good thing that every Singaporean are stepping up their own ballgames. Petrina Kow: [00:20:34] Yeah. Wonderful. Thank you so much, Jason. And please, you know, continue. Good luck. I understand you have a food styled Iran, so if you have to run off. I totally understand. But do stay for the discussion if you're free here. Laurindo Garcia: [00:20:49] Thank you. Do under. Thank you. Thank you. Jason, please stay on if you are able to. Would love to come back to you later on in the conversation with some follow up questions. At this stage, I do. It's time for us to travel across the Atlantic to to London, where we have Siew Yen Chong on the line. How are you. Am. No, we're really thrilled that you able to join this conversation, so I understand you're a volunteer, you've been doing a lot of work in London helping ensure the low income families have better quality food on the table. And I would just love to hear a little bit more about how you exactly do that. Siew Yen Chong: [00:21:33] So I volunteer with two charities. The first one is Bags of Taste. And it's started in Hackney, which is where I live in East London. And the aim of the charity is mainly to help reduce food poverty, which is kind of defined as people not having access to good food or food. That's good for you. Whether it's because of price or whether it's because they are in places where there are no great markets and they can't get to it. And how it began was the founder was in a supermarket and she was looking at the shopping baskets of the customers. And so many people had like, you know, one pound pizzas already, meals that are growing at one pound in their basket. And she came up thinking to herself, she was like, well, you know, I could teach these people how to cook a really nutritious meal for a pound or less. And that's how the story began. So Bags of Taste create a create a set of cooking lessons. And then we have a set of recipes to go along with it. And basically every portion we cook is a pound or less. And when students come to our classes, they will cook and learn these recipes and then they are able to buy a bag of ingredients which are exactly measured. And also if it's one tablespoon of sesame oil, you will get one tablespoon of sesame oil and a sachet. So when you get home and you cook the meal, it will taste like what you've cooked in class, which encourages people to cook again. And once they get over that, like, oh, you know, why should I buy Singapore noodles, which is a very favorite, like top favorite dish to order on takeaways for six, seven pounds when I can recreate it for myself at home for one pound. And from there on, we reach out to the food banks in Hackney, the recovery service or drug rehabilitation, alcohol rehabilitation, homeless shelters, a couple of domestic abuse places. And the council also has lots of council housing. So if you have families or residents who are in arrears, there are also people that we target or people that go to the Jobcentre because they're looking for work. And so these are the people that we want to educate about the importance of budgeting, using measures when you're cooking so that you're not overspending and then your fruit tastes really great. And the thing that we do in our recipes is also encourage the use of spices so that people are looking at what they eat in terms of their salt intake and they're able to make their fruit more exciting because of spices and herbs rather than adding sugar or salt or eating takeaway, which is full of sort of salts, fats and that kind of stuff. So that smacks of taste. And and through that course, we are able to reach out to lots of. A lot of them, I guess, who live on their own, actually, in Hackney. A large part about a large part of our target audience live on their own. They're older. A lot of older men, 50 and over. Who are lonely. And so the cooking helps them to reconnect with food. But gives them a chance to socialize in a very non-threatening situation, which is, you know, I think people always find it easier to chat over food, whether you're a man or a woman. And and then I'm supported by a group of other volunteers. So I teach the class and other volunteers will help each student in the class. So in that way, yes, we are helping people by giving them cheaper food. But I think more importantly, the program drives behavior change, that it's possible to cook better and your food is better than the take away. And even if it means people eat like take away a couple of times less in the week, it means that we have achieved our objectives. And I think in this time of kov it, what we're finding, particularly living in London, is that the people who are in the black, African-American or Caribbean communities, they have a higher chance of dying from the disease simply because of obesity problems or because of that diet or genetic propensity. So having this idea of getting them to be aware of what they're eating and how they can control that kind of intake of salt and sugar, I think is an eat. It's an equalizer in that respect. Laurindo Garcia: [00:26:03] And do you foresee that any of the things or the ways of approaching behavior change in in your work in London? Any of. Are any of these things transferable for the Singapore context? From what you know, what do you see as the situation here? Siew Yen Chong: [00:26:19] I think definitely I think that the great thing about single boys, I feel that growing up anyway. It's always been food has been it's very democratic in Singapore. The fruit that you buy in a hawker center, you know, now, even with greater awareness of salt and fats, I think it's it's fairly healthy. It's actually quite good. You always get vegetables or something like that. It's it's so it's quite democratic. You can get pretty good food at a very decent price. And so I think that the practice that we have here of encouraging people to cook more often for themselves, I think that's probably something that should be encourage so that, yes, there's a great chicken rice store we want to support and it's our local like downstairs take away is very good. We can help out. But actually, how about encouraging people to sit down, reconnect with food and cook these meals? And part of the the the way that our recipes are designed is that they are designed so that you can cook with one pan on the hot seat or in the oven. You don't need you know, so you do have to pay a lot for electricity or gas bills. So I think, you know, is a really good way of getting people to cook together and reconnect with food. Laurindo Garcia: [00:27:30] Do you do you foresee that there will be a challenge? Because, I mean, it was interesting how you can make the comparison of how much a premade meal in the shopping basket would cost compared to making something for yourself. And in Singapore, I mean, you know, the cost of of meals purchased at a hawker center is still quite reasonable. As you say, it's it's very democratic compared to the cost of preparing something at home for for yourself as well. There's this kind of I mean, some people talk about an imbalance depending on where you buy your ingredients. I mean, do you see that being a challenge here in Singapore? Siew Yen Chong: [00:28:08] Yeah. These are not just in Singapore, I would say here as well. I think here maybe it can be a bit I don't know what it's like and what was kind of a bit detrimental. It's like, oh, you didn't buy organic or how can you eat chicken? That is, you know, a pound fifty for like half a kilo. I mean, you know, but if you've got five children and you have to look after all the parents, you haven't got much of a choice. That's kind of what you know. So I think bags of things is good because it doesn't judge. But what it tries to encourage you to do is that in every say in a recipe that actually has meat in it, if they are serving two people and I was getting down to details, it would be less than 100 grams of meat per person. And that's how we always bill our recipes. So. And you want to have meat? Sure. But it's 80 grams of chicken, 80 grams of minced beef for one person. So if you make two portions, you know, 80, 80, that's 160. So when people when we cook with people, they look at it and they think, oh, my God, this in this spaghetti bolognese is only one hundred eighty grams of meat. And everything else is carrots and celery. So I think in Singapore you you can do exactly the same thing where you teach people about a portion of ingredients that you put in a recipe, particularly the protein versus vegetables, and that will help you overall reduce the cost of a serving. So I think that's another way you can. Teach. Petrina Kow: [00:29:31] Yeah. I would like to take that course myself, because I tend to over like today. I decided to roast a tray of vegetables and I realize I had roasted the entire head of broccoli, one whole carrot, one whole like cauliflower. And then the next thing I know, I'm like I have like, these two giant trays of vegetables that my two kids, just sort of like scoff at. And then like, you know, open a pack of instant noodles themselves, you know. So it's sort of like how well I try it. Laurindo Garcia: [00:30:01] So at this point, I'd love to bring in Bjorn Low into the conversation. Hi, Bjorn. Hello. I'm good. So you're joining us from Victoria in Australia right now. Did I get that right? That's right. And so I know you as a pioneer and a champion for urban farming. You are a co-founder of Edible Garden City. And, you know, a lot of this discussion, just a recent discussion with Siew Yen is kind of talking about produce people encouraging people to cook for themselves. Talking about the cost of produce as well in a city like Singapore. And I'm curious to hear what have been your thoughts as you've been hearing, not only the conversation, but also your observations of of just how people are dealing with food. Against a backdrop of a pandemic? Bjorn Low: [00:30:45] Well, it's definitely an a very interesting time for for everybody, especially in the food industry and in the farming space. Well, whilst there has been a lot of hype and talk around food security for sustainability and Singapore being in a very challenged position, there's also a lot of chatter, news out from the global food supply chain. Saw you see all farmers in the US, if only on Australia, having to plough their produce back into the ground because a lot of the food system is built on these centralised production system, massive systems of supply chain. So if something breaks, everything goes to the ground. So farmers are actually losing a lot of produce, dumping milk. They are throwing away eggs because the supply chain is broken. And then on the other on the other hand, you have people now going hungry. So something is massively not balance. And this is potentially a good time to really look deeper into the food system on how we can balance that equation. A lot of the work that we have done in the past in urban agriculture is to look at decentralised production systems. So, for example, we are in what should you be in, for example? In Ang Mo Kio, where we are producing food for the local community in the space itself and not and reliant on a lot of outside, you know, changes and things like that. So it's the local community supporting that movement. So it is very trying times, even for the food producers as well, although you see a massive amount of demand from the consumer side that there is that inability for the farmers to bring their produce to market because of how the model has been built up on efficiency and because there is no efficiency. Now, a lot has been lost to this whole crisis. Laurindo Garcia: [00:32:58] So I'm just curious. Going back to you were mentioning before about your work with HDB estates and Ang Mo Kio in particular, and I'm curious, pre-Covid 19. What have been some of the headways, you know, stopping for more? It should be a states getting involved in a project like that. Bjorn Low: [00:33:17] So in the past, we are doing urban agriculture has always been a very challenging industry. Yes, because agriculture is based on the economies of scale model while in urban spaces, you know, it is small and that's only that much you can build. Vertical or scalability is always a challenge was infrastructure cost is high. Our model has always been to be produced, producing floor restaurants and hotels, you know, a high value type produce on very short turnaround times. What we now need to to look at is really it's kind of changing that model to really produce higher amount of skill for the larger population and the general public on produce that they eat every day in order bok choy, chai sim. But that competition as well from from overseas. You know, in Malaysia and Thailand, the produce are a lot cheaper. And it's always, you know, our producers always a premium. But what we found actually is starting to to work a lot in this space in. For example, Yorkhill, where we started a project called Ah Kong Farm. We found it actually urban farming. It's not only bringing up tangible values like the produce, but also the hits on the intangible portion of community engagement not being socially isolate that elderly out from your homes to participate in something like urban farming, growing produce together, eating together. It has so much more benefits in terms of mental wellness than just filling a tiny, so solid that there is a lot more that a lot deeper into it. But of course, the focus now because of a food shortage is stand production. But we want to look at the picture holistically now. Petrina Kow: [00:35:14] And I love that because I am also noticing with just, you know, anecdotally amongst my friends, everyone is propagating spring onions and, you know, growing their own garlic and, you know, tending to the herb garden. And then I myself have quite a successful sweet potato leaf situation happening, though we haven't quite harvested it to, you know, fry one dish of sweet potato will be as yet. But but I think, you know, I think it's making people really sort of think about this. Right, rather than go to the, you know, market just to get one sprig of, you know, spring onion as a you mean so easy to like propagates spring onion. Why did they never do this before? You know, Bjorn Low: [00:35:53] There's always two sides of that. So you have one group of people who give it a go. And so while it's so hard, you don't buy chili plant keeps dying. And it's like, why don't you just go to the supermarket? I spent two dollars. I get all these chilies whilst while you are spending all five months of your life trying to get this shit plant to produce. I think that effort you have the other group of people that I like here, it is a very difficult process to grow your own food and the value of food a lot more. And then that has done a latent benefit on addressing food wastage problem because the Singapore will be true several hundred thousand tonnes of food last year while importing 90 percent. So again, that this balance. Right. So we see these kind of changes in a lot of young people going through that process. Well, to say it is really hard. Maybe we need to appreciate a lot more what these farmers are doing overseas, you know, to grow food. Let's try and waste less. So it has it has it can go both ways. Laurindo Garcia: [00:36:56] So with that, I would do want to kind of put it step into a solutions mindset for a moment and ask both Siew Yen and Bjorn to imagine that you were bestowed with the power to change the food sector in Singapore and in Asia. And what would be the top three things that you would do as soon as you were given this power? And I want to pass that to Siew Yen first. What are at the top three things you would do? Siew Yen Chong: [00:37:21] Ration cards. If I had a power for 100 days, I would put out ration cards so that I think households you can only buy stuff that is on your absolute essential needs, For 100 days and then you will learn to be creative. You are learned to stop throwing things out and you will learn to check, to smell, to rely on your senses before you go. This spring onion looks a bit soft. I going to throw it out. The celery is a bit soft and you don't really reuse things in ways. So I would introduce ration cards and I sit and only because I think that this whole Covid situation has amplified the inequality in, say, my household versus, you know, the households that I'm helping right now. I, I because of bags of tears and other work that I do, I'm so scrupulous about food waste now, but I'm sure before I'm probably as guilty as anyone else. So I go ration ration card. Laurindo Garcia: [00:38:28] Ration cards. Great. Thank you, Siew Yen. How about your Bjorn? Bjorn Low: [00:38:31] The one thing I'll do is turn Singapore from a Garden City into an edible Garden City and pass a policy that we have and can plant durian trees all around our roads, mango trees, soursop trees, and everyone have then free access to the food. That's not so hard to do, right? They're spending a lot of money by putting in these giant ornamental trees that costs thousands and thousands of dollars and in all places like that. Why don't you just grow a fruit tree so everyone can partake, you know, even the wildlife as well as so. So that's what I would do. Pass a policy and make that a reality. Petrina Kow: [00:39:10] I wonder vote Bjorn as minister of food. Ha here that you've got me at free durian man on the side of the road. Laurindo Garcia: [00:39:10] Everybody's clapping. I see all of this round of applause on the Zoom chat. Everybody's classing Petrina Kow: [00:39:25] Free durian. Oh my goodness. Oh, okay. For now though. Thank you. I just like to take the opposite. All our guests today for coming on the show. But for now, a very special guest as well who is also joining us. And he I know as a well-known voice on the radio, but when I searched him up, he also says he's a 25 year old music making, sushi eating love machine. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Joshua Simon to the show. Dude, have a good love machine. Hello, darling. Joshua Simon: [00:39:59] I'm pretty sure that was my Tinder bio from like five years ago. Actually, I'm actually turning 30 in a couple of weeks, so I'm so sorry you got the press release a little bit later. Petrina Kow: [00:40:10] I think you can just keep it there. Keep it at 25. It's a ok. Joshua Simon: [00:40:13] Keep it 25? I'm going to be one of those? OK. Yeah, I just stopped counting. I just celebrate anniversaries from here, Andre. Wow. I've so many things. I want to say this conversation. And first off, OK. Juwanda. I have not had carbs in three and a half weeks. I've been on keto. I've been on this keto diet because it's sort of like my way of helping a friend's business. I'm she runs this thing Keto Me, which is like a subscription delivery service for, like keto friendly food. And then that I was vegetarian for three months. So to go from vegetarian to eating only meat is like insane. And I miss carb. Like I'm a carbs person. So I will I will eat everything in your bakery, like. In one sitting like I need rice in my life. Right now it's serious. Okay. And. Yeah. Like, I'm gonna go try Jason's food as far as like Googling, like Beng Who Cooks and like the food looks so great. It's like it's like eating like salad bowls. But in a hawker centers. Like what. I spent like twenty dollars for these kind of bowls or then like I'm a sucker for an onsen egg. Like you're onsen eggs look amazing. And it's like super overpriced in the malls. Jason Chua: [00:41:26] Only six dollars. Joshua Simon: [00:41:27] Oh yeah. Jason Chua: [00:41:28] Unless you add. Joshua Simon: [00:41:29] I'm so there I was so gonna come to your store and like that was such an incredible like. That segment earlier on with you. Jason Chua: [00:41:29] Just remeber to tell me whether you're paying or getting one of the free bowls. Joshua Simon: [00:41:41] I will definitely be paying. Oh OK. You like the free bowl stuff. Just got me like so riled up earlier on like this period. So many people want to beat up that. Yeah. That was really cool. Yeah. Hi. How do I fit into this conversation. Petrina Kow: [00:41:59] Well I mean, I don't know if you I mean you have some thoughts about food and sort of where you wanna go or do you and just just offer your thoughts through your artistry and sings your song. Joshua Simon: [00:42:11] I mean, there are still so many questions like free form for Yen Chong. Like what is Singapore noodles? I see every time when I travel I we do not have Singapore noodles in the sample. What is Singapore noodles. Siew Yen Chong: [00:42:22] I know. Makes my heart curl. I just got bee hoon with the curry powder in it. Joshua Simon: [00:42:30] Huh? Siew Yen Chong: [00:42:30] I know. Joshua Simon: [00:42:32] Budget bee hoon is it? Siew Yen Chong: [00:42:32] It's got turmeric and you like cumin in it as part of the mix. Petrina Kow: [00:42:38] Yes, strange. I suppose it's like breakfast bee hoon, but they they forgot what spice and the just anyhow add. Siew Yen Chong: [00:42:43] Instead of sambal. They go and put turmeric and cumin. Joshua Simon: [00:42:47] So confusing Siew Yen Chong: [00:42:47] Wahlao. Joshua Simon: [00:42:48] I have not I have not done the delivery thing. Like, I like going out to get food. I like like interacting with the people that I work with, like I eat about the same. Like I can eat the same thing every day and not get sick of it. You know, like there are like certain restaurants or cafes that I go to and like we like. I know, I know the people that stop there and everything. So I like that interaction. I don't like just food showing up at the door. Like, I only just signed up for like like online banking recently. So I'm one of those rare millennials that just do not trust the Internet. I do not trust Amazon. And like, I need to physically, like, pay. I still have vinyl records, you know. So I signed that person. It's strange because I feel like my family my family is not super well-to-do. Like we've always, like, struggled with, like bills and all that kind of stuff. But then, like, of all things, I feel like during this whole corporate thing, I can see how spoiled we are by ridiculously spoiled. We are. And like like when we open the fridge, there's just so much groceries in there. Like, my sister will do a run. My dad will draw on my mom and I'll come back thinking that, OK, I'm buying them for the whole family. And the whole fridge is just like chock full of stuff. And the covers are filled with like, OK, there's a canned food. Why why do we have canned food? We never get canned food. But then we have like every ingredient, you know. So I've been challenging my family to just stop buying stuff and just finish what's in the fridge, because it's really annoying when I'm hearing about how people are not getting enough food, you know, and like, we complain so much about our bills and then you open the fridge and everything is there. And then like you, I'll hear like a family member, complain about how they're hungry and like they're going on Deliveroo, "like go to the fridge, pick up a pan". All right. And I've been cooking, OK? So I've been cooking. And it's been dreadful. Like, some people are just gifted. Like I watch Master Chef and I'm looking at these home cooks, like prepare these incredible dishes. Like, I can't cook an omelet. Like I you would think that with the right ingredients things, which is cool, but just something messes up. It's either like, OK, I burnt something or I put too much oil or like too little seasoning. It's just like I'm just not cut out for this. So like one thing great as I do host the show at night on my radio show, I like to say to someone like, what I've been doing is I've been sort of intermittent fasting, waiting till like later in the night I pack something I eat much. Later on, I wrote a song called All I Wanna Do early during this, when the fears of the pandemic are creeping in, mainly cause I felt like even listening to this conversation, I feel like I, I did not achieve much in life is like at least you guys, you're like in it, you know, you guys are really in it and you're, you're in the grime and you're like working through and trying to find a way to help. And, and I'm just like I sing like what what is this skill set, you know, like I you know, so I thought really purposeless. And what I started doing on my radio show is I started opening it up. I didn't think too much about it's like super wrong for me to do this. But like, I've just been like allowing anyone who has a business that's either, like thriving or trying to keep their head above water, like, come share your story. You know, like I have a friend of mine, Douglas Park. He has a hawker store called like Fishball Story, you know, and he's using social media. It's really. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He he still owes me fish cakes. So he is using social media to sell his fish balls and he's directly like he's getting his friends to come help deliver, like he's doing everything by himself, you know. So that's incredible. I heard that Nando's is is giving up free food every single day until the 1st of June. And just like Jason, they're not doing any checks, you know, just by good faith. If you need a meal, we'll give you a support meal. That's it. So feel free to come onto my show today. I have a friend, Lucas, who represents Singapore as a speed skater, and he is he's not able to go to the rink now. Right. So he is helping because he's super tech tech. He's a super nerdy. So he's been like refurbishing laptops and giving it to kids who don't have money to get like a new computer during this time and they're working from home or whatever. So he's been doing that, you know, and every artist that I interview, like yesterday I spoke with Hailee Steinfeld. She is a pop star and one of the youngest to be nominated for an Oscar. And I've been asking this one question, which is like, what is the role of an artist in a pandemic? You know, and it's interesting. I'm still gathering answers like her. I'm not nervous about. Petrina Kow: [00:47:29] Sorry, go ahead and get you the head. You finish her answer. Joshua Simon: [00:47:33] Her answer was about how I think she was still trying to figure it out as house as she was. There is a pretty intense question, huh? Petrina Kow: [00:47:41] I mean, no, I mean, I think because we had an episode earlier about artists and the role of artists, and I think our conclusion from that, if you want to listen, you would have listen to that first before this one. But basically, I think I want to encourage you and say, don't feel like you're not doing anything. You're doing heaps. You have a show. You're connecting with listeners. Right. You're providing a platform. And you're such a connector. So. And you are an artist. And I think for especially these times, the artists always lead the way. Right. We we find ways. We get creative. And I think what what I've observed with the people in the food industry, because they're the ones a first hit and hit the hardest and the fastest. But they're also the ones who are the most creative and the ones who come back fast and nimble as well. Everyone has had to really sort of dig deep and find all kinds of ways to really sort of pivot, you know, get together. And and I think it does bring out the worst and the best. And I like to think that I think, you know, it depends on how you look at it. I think we we have to allow for people to take that journey no matter what it what it is. But, you know, food is so fundamental. Right. And in it, I mean, we can say, oh, art is like the last thing we like. If if we were to sort of do the whole OK. Now we're going to relax. The one now. Okay, we can open the first dollar store. But now what is bubble tea? It's like. Okay, like those things will open first, light, whatever. But then the arts venues will be the last to open. Right. So that's that's still way back on the thing. But food food is always on people's mind. Food is always the first thing. So in a way, I think that that hunger or that that essential need is is so primal and is so it is really the reason we exist. And we like to say food isn't just about filling a tummy. Right. Even though sometimes on the on the most essential level, that's what it is. But we've all talked about that communing, that coming together as a community, even just as the dignity of being able to provide a meal for yourself, especially if you live alone. I really find that that's it's really quite special. So I was just thinking, I think, you know, I would love for for learning how to cook and feed yourself a nutrition to be one of the subjects we learn at school. You know, so that Joshua will know how to make an omelet. Joshua Simon: [00:50:05] So I actually MOE's defense. I did I did do better nutrition. OK. But I was also dreadful at that. Like, I made spaghetti carbonara by just getting, like, spaghetti from the shelf at the supermarket. And then I use Campbell's Soup like Cream of Mushroom as my carbonara sauce. And it's it's actually pretty edible. Petrina Kow: [00:50:27] It's quite tasty. I have to. Joshua Simon: [00:50:27] Don't thumbs down Jason. Don't thumbs done. I just gave you a brilliant new item to add? Petrina Kow: [00:50:36] No. Took almost no carbonara. It was very interesting, actually. I'd say that a lot of people went when when the hoarding started. Right. And people wanted to like, panic, buy and buy stuff. People who don't normally buy canned food just set. It's the buy canned food. Like, I know I was doing that. I was like, yeah, maybe I need like a can of Ma Ling, like luncheon meat. Now, you know, it's like I never, ever buy it. But suddenly I have three cartons and there was all this and I still haven't cooked that insulate. So yes, I am guilty hoarder. Joshua Simon: [00:51:06] And a lot of people in my life, like dieting in a pandemic, is such a privilege. Like everyone is just talking about the diets that there I'm like, oh, my God, I should get off at the end of it. Like, you have so much food. Oh, my gosh. I mean, I wish I wish there was just better synergy. Like, I like I want to help. The thing is, I don't know where to start. You know, like, I know what to do. Okay, great. I have all this food. I've got others in my kitchen. I start cooking stuff and I start giving it to someone. Who do I give it to? You know, so like, I just wish there was just a better synergy or even. Okay, like, great. I host a radio show. I can be a catalyst. I can help like all people to these businesses, you know, letting them come onto the show and promote your your business and your product. That usually would cost a lot of money. I just wish there was. Yeah. Once this thing started to engage us, engage the artists. Petrina Kow: [00:51:53] You can is what I'm saying, Joshua. So it do you. Before we go and have you sing us out, any, any last thoughts, Laurindo. Laurindo Garcia: [00:52:01] Yeah. So I do want to make sure we touch base with each of our guests before we wrap up today's show. And really the invitation is to, you know, share what is one thing that you want our listeners to know based on today's discussion. And perhaps we start with you Juwanda. What's one thing that you'd like our listeners to know? Juwanda Hassim: [00:52:19] I think, you know, I know the. Dark clouds and shit and stuff. I think there's still hope. I'm the one who's so hopeful. It brings me to tears, but I just really cook things. Things will get better. Laurindo Garcia: [00:52:38] How about you, Jason? What's one thing that you want to make sure our listeners know? Based on today's discussion. Jason Chua: [00:52:44] I really want people to know that. Toknow that there's a website. Facebook Group call Covid Idiots. Right. Yeah, I just want people to stop. Yeah. Yeah. I mean put yourself into someone else's shoes and stop framing and scolding them. And then that's not really cool. But most of them that appears on the page. Are the ones without social media and they do know that being framed or being scolded. That's a very sucky feeling to be felt lah. If you don't even know. Why it is you're being scolded. Laurindo Garcia: [00:53:08] So to have a heart. Petrina Kow: [00:53:11] Lovely. And how about you then? Siew Yen Chong: [00:53:13] Definitely reconnect with friends, you know, pick up the phone. Obviously, Zoom calls a great and all of that. But I think if someone that you want to speak to and you haven't spoken to for awhile. Pick up the phone. Do that. Read more. I'm finding myself reading a lot and really enjoying walking the streets. And really, I don't like looking at trees a lot, looking at like I can hear, but every morning more than I've I have in a long time. And I really I, I stop and actually take my time. So I think that's a luxury and I'm making the most of it and helping others whenever you can. Petrina Kow: [00:53:53] Thank you. And to round us off Bjorn? Bjorn Low: [00:53:55] Yeah, I think hope is that for you something that is really important. Hold on to. I hope everyone can continue to hold on to that. But on the flip side, I feel that, you know, mother stuff has been very well taken care of in the last six months. You know, with all the emission that has gone down the flights grounded that perhaps I really hope that we can all look to what's a better future with a better economy that says a lot more sustainable for the future. So that that is that's my hope. Petrina Kow: [00:54:29] Great. Thank you so much to all our wonderful guests who've joined us here today. And I think, Josh, would you want to just tell us a little bit of a song that you got to sing? Joshua Simon: [00:54:38] Oh, right. Yeah. This is a song called All I Wanna Do. And it's a song that I think a lot of us can definitely relate to. It's and it's a desire for escapism. It's also how I feel sometimes when I feel like I don't know where I fit in. I just kind of want to disappear and just like, hide my head, you know? So, like, it's this song is about anxiety, but it's also about escapism. And it's colorful. It's fun. Laurindo Garcia: [00:55:04] Thanks to all our guests, Juwanda, Jason. Siew Yen, Bjorn, Joshua, really appreciate you taking the time to have a chat with us today. If you'd like to find out more about our guests, please check out the increasingly Web site. We'll be providing links to everyone. Please remember to like this podcast and share view. Your feedback will help us improve. Make sure you subscribe to us on the Apple podcast, Spotify and also YouTube. Petrina Kow: [00:55:27] Thank you very much for joining us. Until next time. I'm Petrina. Laurindo Garcia: [00:55:31] And I'm Laurindo Garcia. Thanks for listening. *JOSHUA SIMON SINGS ‘ALL I WANNA DO’*

Streetpolitik returns to do Koalif Soliloquies. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/streetpolitik/support

S04E08.2 THE BOYS OF BUBBLE part 2 Ken Burns returns to continue his thirty-seven hour history of America’s game. In this episode, Shoeless Joe Jackson…wait, sorry? This is a made-up baseball movie? Yeah, sure, that’s fine. There are many great baseball movies. A nice, simple sports story about what’s that? It’s set during a pandemic and all of Major League Baseball plays inside giant bubble domes? Oh…OK. Well, at least it doesn’t try to force in any political commentary YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! Pitch us your movie idea at plotdevicepodcast@gmail.com or on twitter @PlotDevicePod Music Credits: The Complex, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)

On this episode, we're talking about people being irresponsible assholes (looking at you people who refuse to stay home); then we talk about some stupid stuff Droid said a couple of weeks ago, Ace brings up reparations (again?) and we talk about transgender people (and equal rights). Well, this got heavier than we expected o.O    Facebook: https://bit.ly/2HsNjKKInstagram: https://bit.ly/2zn6rFpTwitter: https://bit.ly/2U9oUyP  

In this strange time of global pandemic it'd be crazy NOT to acknowledge what we're all experiencing together, so that's what we're talking about today: How the virus stuff is affecting us. Pitface joins us once again so today the quartet is complete: Pitz, Banes, Oz, and Tantz!   This global pandemic is affecting all of the world, all humanity at the same time, wherever we are. It's a really unique experience for us all. We're lucky we had the internet when this struck us! Imagine if we got a pandemic on this scale 40 years ago? At this time in history we can communicate all around the world instantly, video chat, share photos, creations and artwork and we can also find out how each other is doing wherever we are at any given moment. As well as have enough webcomics and movies to entertain us while we're isolated at home…   It's certainly quieter in the streets in my part of the world. I'm on paid leave and might not have a job at the end of it because my office has shut down, but I'm getting to work on my comics a bit more… https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Pinky_TA/   DD is an amazing little global community! We hope everyone is safe, has enough toilet paper and will have a job at the end of this outbreak. Watch out for the economic chaos afterwards though. How is CoVid-19 affecting you and your family?       The musical feature this week that Gunwallace has given us is theme to The Feelings of a High School Girl - Initially awkward, after a few faltering steps it finds its rhythm and gets into a lovely groove, starting with a bit of an acoustic blues line then thrumming away into an electronic confection of joy and fun!   Topics and shownotes     Links   Forum topic, How are you dealing with CoVid-19? - https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/forum/topic/178375/   Banes' Great animation - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIcV8ug4CyY   Funny SNL sketch about Bidets - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQx-ZbSQSBM Second link in case the 1st doesn't work - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-WapDDSQN0   Featured comic: Oh Ok - https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/news/2020/mar/24/featured-comic-oh-ok/   Featured music: The Feelings of a High School Girl - - https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/The_Feelings_of_a_High_School_Girl/, by lokpolymorfa, rated M.   Special thanks to: Pit Face - https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/user/PIT_FACE/ Gunwallace - http://www.virtuallycomics.com Tantz Aerine - https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/user/Tantz_Aerine/ Ozoneocean - https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/user/ozoneocean Banes - https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/user/Banes/ kawaiidaigakusei - https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/user/kawaiidaigakusei/   VIDEO exclusive! Become a subscriber on the $5 level and up to see our weekly Patreon video and get our advertising perks! - https://www.patreon.com/DrunkDuck Even at $1 you get your name with a link on the front page and a mention in the weekend newsposts!

Thank you for listening.

Every year we wait til the clock strikes 12 and the year to change,for us to decide that we're going to be better,why not change daily is the question, there's no need to stunt your growth when a better you is waiting to be released. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/angieh/message

...People still highly upset over Kaep but dont really know why.... SADNESS...lets talk about it...

- Julie McCorkle I didn't allow myself to be as vulnerable as I probably would today because there are a lot of great people out there that do truly care even if they don't understand or don't know what you need. I think I would have voiced that a lot sooner.   INTRO   Today, I welcome Julie McCorkle.  Julie is the head of HR at PERQ, a tech firm here in town.  She shares about the difficult, embodied journey of infertility, and three years of IVF treatments, and how she and Chis welcomed Declan into the world.   This episode is sponsored by Fullstack PEO, where you can get Payroll, Benefits, and Peace of Mind.  We are also sponsored by Handle with Care, HR Consulting, empowering your company to respond well when it matters most.   Julie, her husband, and their one-year old son, Declan, recently moved to Indiana from the Washington, DC area.  They love to hike and explore the outdoors…as well as wineries.   - Julie McCorkle We were in Northern Virginia and going like a little farther south and a little farther east it was just beautiful. I mean, the mountains, the Blue Ridge Mountains are incredible, great wineries which we probably went to a little too often. And you know great mountain top wineries. So as a little anxious moving to Indiana just the mountains are left right.   - Julie McCorkle Yeah right. Like as flat and cornfields. But I have been pleasantly surprised that there's a lot of beautiful area here.   Julie came to Indiana to be the head of HR at Perq.  Julie has been in HR for a long time, she likes to say that she stumbled into it.  A summer stint with Huntington Bank in Ohio was her first foray into the world of HR.    - Julie McCorkle They told me I'd be working in H.R. and I literally googled what H.R. stood for. No idea my parents are small business owners I had no concept. And I just stuck with it.   - Julie McCorkle I mean I kind of started out in the benefits field and started moving more on the H.R. management side doing a lot of employee relations and just kind of expanding my wings and just kind of found my path so in time anybody asked me about H.R. and I would just say I'm like a glorified problem solver.   Julie brings both a commitment to problem solving as well as a deep care for people to her work in HR; it is one of the reasons that she is on the Handle with Care podcast today:  her own experience with loss has deepened the role that she sees HR playing within organizations.   - Julie McCorkle One of the things when I started opening up about fertility the amount of other people that were experiencing as well. I was blown away by and I don't think until you start having the conversations that you recognize how many people have suffered like a child loss whether it's a miscarriage whether they're not able to get pregnant whatever it is. I mean every person that I would talk to had somebody in their life that has experienced something similar right or were experiencing something similar. And I think just there's, there's work that's being done, a lot of the work that you are being done in the workplace itself so many people put on masks and different personas to survive to get through the day and don't necessarily recognize the impact that it is having on them or those around them like with work and aren't willing to have the conversations or are in a spot where they can't have the conversations and if they can't have the conversation then shame on that workplace.   - Julie McCorkle  Yeah right. Then it's time to move you're probably way too valuable for them anyways. So for my fellow colleagues like H.R. professionals we are the we're in the profession where it's our responsibility to navigate that for people. There's there's really strong structures that have been built within corporations over her years. Right. That's hard for people to understand and recognize and navigate and that's what our our responsibility is. And you're good. H.R. professionals they're gonna do that for you. So if you are experiencing it if you do need support talk to them.   Julie is an HR person that you would want to talk to, because she has gone through her own story of loss.  And to understand that story, let’s back up a little to her husband, Chris.  Julie had finished school.  Although Chris was older, he had done a stint in the army and was in his junior year.  They were set up in a bar.   - Julie McCorkle  He bought me a beer. I was about it and when we started dating it just just went very quickly very very quickly. Yeah I mean we were, I think we were dating for probably about six to eight months when he accepted a job in D.C. and we had a whole year before we moved.   - Julie McCorkle But Chris technically never asked me to move with him. He told me he accepted the job was like Oh OK great, I'm going with you. So, I didn't have a choice.   - Liesel Mertes You declared your travel plans.   - Julie McCorkle He said That's right. Well great. Charlie ready for the next adventure. All right good. We're going now.   - Liesel Mertes You and Chris have added Declan to your family and I know that that is one of the things that you're here to talk about because that wasn't as straightforward as you would have liked. Tell us a little bit more about how long you and Chris had been together and when you decided that you wanted to start a family.   - Julie McCorkle Yes. So our, I think everything in our life, Chris was far more relaxed than I am. And I definitely have I don't I mean there definite not stringent plans but I normally have my five year plan and we were both finishing up our masters and I always knew that at the point of finishing up our masters that that was at the point that I wanted to start a family. So, we had kind of had the time in line and you know we had been together.   - Julie McCorkle So, the infertility journey was about three years. So we had been married for five had been together for about seven and half years and I think we were both very much ready.   - Julie McCorkle And honestly, I just kind of expected it would be easy. It sounds terrible not that everything in our life has been easy. But you work so hard your whole life to not have kids and at the point when you want to have kids and start a family you just kind of expected to happen. Yeah I mean I definitely did it.   Julie and Chris start trying…a few months go by and Julie goes to the doctor. She gets some tips, and then there is testing, and then talking to a fertility specialist.  By now, six months have gone by.  But Julie is a problem solver, which is what led her to the door of Dr. Leilani.    - Julie McCorkle She was she was very open and very honest in her communication just setting expectations from the beginning just from the initial just meet and greet and deciding if we wanted to go there and understanding all our options and what the process for testing and you know kind of, just all the cost and everything that goes into it and the time commitment and you hear everything you're like OK.   - Julie McCorkle  Yeah we can do this. I mean this is gonna be a significant commitment but we can do this. This is fine. And then as you go through the process you're like Do we really want to keep doing this? Do we really want to keep doing this? There's a lot more than you really expect. Right. It's hard to actually process all that until I think you're in the middle of it.   - Liesel Mertes When I hear that is that perhaps there's initial decision to go down this path. But then there's lots of other decision points along the way. Do we want to continue doing want to keep doing that? Does that feel accurate to you?   - Julie McCorkle Yeah absolutely.   - Julie McCorkle And I think I don't know how similar other couples have experienced it but you know based on other conversations I've had it's probably pretty much the same. It's very incremental. So really, just understanding what the problem is in the first place and whether there's anything that can be done with it is of course the first step. So there's this whole slew of testing that needs to be done. And then there's there's like increments of certain treatments that can be done to see if they work and then it's kind of like just to wait and see.   - Julie McCorkle  So we had decided to do like two eyes right before going down the full IVF path and neither one of those work and that's a five thousand dollar investment and that's about a six month time frame like, Well that was like a total waste of time. Right. Total waste of time, total waste of money but otherwise that's significantly less expensive and less invasive than IVF. So, if we have done that I'm not sure we would have gotten to the same point. Right so there's a lot of back and forth like did I just waste six months of our time?   MUSICAL TRANSITION   - Julie McCorkle The IVF investment for us was thirty thousand dollars. Yeah. And there are ways like and I had a very honest discussion about it like this is gonna be a significant investment. This is what we have to do in our family and our household to make it happen. Are we willing to do that. And the question for both of us is yes absolutely right. There's no reason why we want to do it.   - Julie McCorkle We can make it happen. So we're going to. And I think there's a lot of coupling that couples that don't have that and I was also very fortunate to have a lot of support and just the time right to be able to go until late late to work every single day. So I have to stop for lab tests every single morning for a blood draw a lot of the way to start with the emotional social.   - Julie McCorkle You get to know the nurses really well so least you've got great relationships. The traffic wasn't bad. No I was in a great, great fertility clinic. The traffic was terrible. Nice to see you this. It's always it's always vogue but there's a lot of people that do not have the ability to change their life for what they're going through.   - Liesel Mertes Yeah well yeah I hear I hear in that. I mean that is an interesting consideration in the landscape of it not it not that it's like a privilege to walk through something that hard but it's not an option for you know some people that are like it's a hardship but it's not even an available hardship for some people who are like No. Like we don't have the financial resources to give to that right.   - Liesel Mertes I'm struck that a journey with infertility is a very physical journey for a woman and lots of like logistics and scheduling. Would you tell us a little bit more about for someone who's not walked through that journey and give us like more of a sense of the physicality? Yeah what it is to go through fertility treatment?   - Julie McCorkle Yeah you're actually right. So I think the physical ness was atrocious really atrocious. There's there's a significant amount of time commitment with scheduling; I mean I was in the fertility clinic every other morning just for bloodwork so just constantly making sure that you're eating the right thing staying away from alcohol which, I love my wine, constantly hydrated right just in order to get a good blood draw is something that it's it's always on your mind it's and it always has to be I think just in order to go through it. So the time commitment of itself is an impact on work, it's an impact on your personal life because it just takes over.   - Julie McCorkle  But the physical ness that you go through just from the medicines and just the side effects from, you know at one point when before they do the retrieval like an egg retrieval you're on a significant amount of fertility meds and my doctor described to me of like having a bushel of grapes sitting outside of your ovaries. So you just feel huge and gross and you can't move and you can't button your pants almost like being pregnant but you don't get the the great resource for it.   - Julie McCorkle So in general I mean when I responded my body like I was about 30 pounds heavier. I was exhausted like absolute exhausted all the time and I just felt. GROSS definitely didn't feel like myself and when I actually got pregnant the first time in three years that I felt healthy again I felt normal felt more like myself and I loved being pregnant because of that there's a lot of people I think absolutely have terrible pregnancies. But for me my body had already processed a lot of the and just the changes in the hormones. So it's the breeze was great.   - Liesel Mertes It's a long time to be feeling not outside of your body but ill at ease. Yeah your body just and all of that emotional stress.   Oh yes with that.   - Liesel Mertes Tell us a little bit more about the emotions that accompany that physical journey. What would someone who has not gone through that what would they not understand that would be important for them to know?   - Julie McCorkle So I think the journey and of itself like everything that you go through with the testing and just working through the process of fertility whatever treatments you decide that in and of itself is all consuming right:  the time, the physical, the money, the financial commitment. Mentally, it was all consuming for me. So there was probably not a moment of any day that I didn't think about it. It was consuming of my dreams every single night when I would sleep I would have some sort of dream about our fertility journey and it's all I thought about.   - Julie McCorkle  It's all I thought about and it's you know for me. I mentioned how stubborn I am of like you know I'm not really somebody where you tell me I can't do something and then think that I actually can't do it. So, just starting to recognize the possibility that I'd never be able to have kids was very that was the most emotional part because I never had kids so I didn't necessarily knew what I was missing out on. Now I have Declan, I cannot ever imagine life without him. Right. But we were at that phase yet so   - Julie McCorkle  I think it's just the possibility of not having that and not living up to what I thought my life would be. It was hard to process.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   - Liesel Mertes What were ways that people in your wider community really supported you?   - Julie McCorkle Well yeah. So, I think my work team was actually by far the most supportive that I ever experienced. I mean they were incredible. I remember going to my boss really at the point that we started doing some of the testing because I was out significantly and I didn't want him to think that I was leaving right. I didn't want him to think I was randomly scheduling all these appointments and that I was interviewing. So I sat down his office and like, I just want you to be aware I don't know what the time commitment is but we're having some fertility issues.   - Julie McCorkle  And I just lost it. I just started sobbing and he got up and gave me a big hug and he's like, I don't, whatever you need, whatever you need. Don't stress about it and that. And I was very close with my former supervisor always he's a dear friend of mine. So I knew, when he said, like whatever you need, he actually meant it.   - Julie McCorkle And I leaned on him a lot. I mean throughout. It was about a three year journey. So throughout that time frame just mentally and physically not being at work. I mean there's a lot that he took on to do that but it wasn't just my boss.   - Julie McCorkle but the larger team that I worked with. I had two employees that reported directly to me at the time that I wasn't necessarily there couldn't be there were frankly if I didn't have the mental capacity to deal with something they did. So that team in of itself was incredibly supportive and it's just a question.   - Liesel Mertes When you say that. So those moments in real time because this and they hear like not having the mental capacity to deal with the problem. Yeah. Did you have the self-awareness act like those moments to be able to say, I'm like I'm kind of overwhelmed right now? I need you to take this. Did they sense that? How did that communication go?   - Julie McCorkle No I definitely didn't. OK. And that's one of things that I, after the fact, like after Declan was here and I kind of look back and reflect on that time frame. I like to think that I handled it pretty well. But I'm sure I didn't handle it nearly to the point like to the extent that I thought I did. And I knew that I was stressed and overwhelmed. But I'm one of those individuals where I just take it day by day. Right.   - Julie McCorkle So if there's too many things on my plate I'm I don't like to pass off work. I don't like to say that I can't handle this. I just take it day by day. So I didn't recognize it until after the fact and until really until Declan was successful like successfully conceived. I guess I didn't realize how much the stress was impacting the fertility and kind of our issues and the last implantation they did. That was when my boss Ken mentioned to me, he's like, you need to get out of here like I do. And I told him I was like Yep I agree. Let's get out of DC.   - Julie McCorkle  I'm just gonna work from home. He's like, No I mean there's certain things I know you're going to do because you're stubborn you're still gonna do it but I don't want you to focus on a thing. So the team recognized it more what I needed than what I did right. And they were very good at kind of calling into attention of like I'm just gonna take this off your plate just gonna take it and handle it and I'll let you know how it goes. And you were able to release that to the eggs. I trust them immensely.   - Liesel Mertes That's what I hear in that the importance of an underlying trust that's established in those moments where you can actually believe like oh they're not seeing me as incompetent. They're trying to care for me. I mean, there's a lot of underlying elements of culture that have to be in place for that to be possible. Yeah. Yeah for them to say let me take it. And for you to say OK. Absolutely do that.   - Julie McCorkle Absolutely. And there was. You know, before I even started on the lab journey I had a great working relationship with my boss. I had a great working relationships with my team anyways, and we've always had really open honest communication. So it's a no brainer for me to just talk through it right and just talk about it and they knew my own little personal working style my own quirks and needs. So when they saw me get stressed or saw that I was running around a little frantic and probably not operating at my full capacity, that's when they stepped in and just did it.   - Liesel Mertes Did they have any other particular awareness is or considerations for you within the years of that journey? I know that we had talked about things like baby showers in the office place. How did you feel like that transpired in your workplace and how you felt in the midst of those dynamics or how other people were caring for you?   - Julie McCorkle Yes, I think the individual team around me was incredibly cognizant of those needs and you know, when I was going through the fertility journey you see others that get pregnant and you're really excited for them but frankly you're mad at them at the same time right. And there's there are individuals and then I was surrounded with both my personal and professional life that we'll get pregnant immediately and I became very sensitive over listening trying I don't even know if I want this child I'm like I just want to smack you excuse my violence I you know and my team understanding what I was going through was very cognizant of those conversations and would just just kind of pull me away or you know immediately change the subject whatever it may be. Just recognizing it before I would even recognize it.   - Julie McCorkle And there are a lot you know there's a lot that happens in the workplace. I've mentioned to the colleague of mine she's struggled with infertility for 10 years and I'm not sure if her and her husband will be able to have children they still struggle with it. And she was at a place where she had just tried every avenue possible. There's really nothing else for them to try. Possibly except you know surrogacy and that was kind of the next steps. But there is a baby shower in the workplace and she had just suffered from a miscarriage.   - Julie McCorkle  I don't think anybody recognized why she was out but she was out on the day there was a baby shower. There's all sorts of baby things in her office they're just using her office to kind of organize and store things before the mom could put him in a car and she just shut down right.   - Julie McCorkle So I knew her journey not many people did but I knew of her journey and I grabbed her that day when she she called me up and was extremely emotional in telling about it, like OK you need to go home. I'll tell your boss why you're home just just leave right, like this is what you need in this moment. And I think it's really important to have individuals in your life, regardless of what circumstances either personal or professional, that know and understand and can, you can recognize that that maybe pushes you for something that you need that otherwise you may not do yourself to be able to acknowledge that and give voice to it and give yourself permission to take that space.   - Liesel Mertes What were some of the worst ways that your community like intersected with you or the things that you look back on and you think that was just so dumb or that was so painful?   - Julie McCorkle Yeah. I think the worst honestly was my mom. It sounds terrible; I've got an interesting relationship with my mom anyway and I certainly recognize the things that she's not great at and I know why she is the person that she is and I recognize and I respect that. But, it's very different than me. And we process things in a very different manner. My mom's deeply religious. So everything to her goes back to the Catholic Church the Catholic religion and her beliefs and I'm honestly not so there's comments that she made to me all the time that just really dug into me and a lot of times I just kind of chalked up to, Well that's Mom being Mom right. I had a couple of times like for example she made a comment when I was going through the first surgery was home for a little going away party for my sister and she made the comment about essentially making sure that I'm going to church or leaks at the time they do become they're pregnant. The devil was gonna steal the soul of my baby and I just looked around and I just walked away right. And I mentioned it to my husband who completely blew up and he and I'm sure mom heard him blow up because we were having conversations like I can't understand why she'd make a commentary like that knowing everything you're going through right now and when he said that Mike you're asleep right.   - Julie McCorkle  You're absolutely right. Why would she make a comment like that? Why would she not be supportive? And just, the individual that's in my life the most that should recognize what I need right now.   - Julie McCorkle I don't need you to say anything sometimes I just need you to listen. She wasn't able to do that but she's not who she is. So, there are points and there's a lot of my siblings I'm very close with. There are points that I think they have the same moments like giving advice and you just need to pray more you need to go to church.   - Julie McCorkle  Yes sir I don't think so. You. Where that was that shut me down. And you know after mom made that comment I didn't talk to her for six months and it got to the point when I actually got pregnant I'm like, well you know I actually want a relationship with my mom because I want my son to have a relationship with his grandparents right where I just kind of got over it. But I have now going through that journey recognize the people in my life that I know that I can't live on.   - Julie McCorkle  There are people in my life that regardless of what I go through I will be able to lean on and they will always be there and recognize what I need. And there are others that just won't. And that's OK.   - Liesel Mertes It's interesting as we age how we how we feel like on a deep level those things that you just feel like you know like if you're not safe or these are people I can depend on as you think about those people and you say yeah you're someone that I can depend on. Are there are there characteristics that are common across them where you say yeah they're marked by this?   - Julie McCorkle Yeah, I think just the capacity to listen and not just listening to let somebody talk but listening to actually understand what they're saying. And this is so much of what I do in my work in H.R. where people will come to you and they'll bring some sort of issue to mind. And normally, what they're saying is not what they need it's not what the issue is you have to understand the underlying there's definitely people I found in my life that can look below the surface to really truly understand and just just care. And those individuals are the ones that I think you can lean upon.   - Liesel Mertes I love that that carryover from what your personal journey has been into your professional life because, a lot of times you know that such a divide there's work and then there's your life. I think that's binary in a way that is false. Yeah, but expound on that a little bit more because of what you have experienced. What do you bring differently to your role in H.R.? You say you have the Julie in 2019 has grown beyond the Julie of 2010 in these ways whether that's dealing with infertility specifically or just with anyone who might walk in your door having gone through a disruptive life event.   - Julie McCorkle Yeah absolutely. So I think I think they're great. H.R. professionals out there some that can really understand the balance between supporting and advocating for employees and still looking out for the best interests of the company and there's others that kind of skew one way right through there too far in the company where most the time they don't have the trust of their staff or on the other side like two supportive of staff where they can't actually support the interests of the company. That balance I think I've always done pretty well navigating it and maintaining a healthy balance.   - Julie McCorkle  But I don't think I without going through this journey. I don't think I truly had an understanding of the impact a disruptive life event can have on somebody. I mean I've always think I've been able to listen to them to understand to get to the root of the issue and do my best to help them and especially just navigating management structure right to help them whether it's additional time off or just telling their supervisor they need to be out because their supervisor is not going to react well and they don't need that reaction.   - Julie McCorkle  But truly understanding what that does to somebody going through this journey I've never had that understanding and it's hard to I'm not sure if I ever would if I haven't experienced it myself because it's really hard to understand what somebody is experiencing.   - Julie McCorkle You can listen to them you can have empathy you can care but you have to you have to almost put it in your own context in your own experiences to be able to feel it right here that   - Liesel Mertes Do you have any words of insight to someone who is listening and right now they're in the midst of their infertility journey? Or another way of raising it. Any words that you would give to a younger version of yourself. From what you know now?   - Julie McCorkle A younger version of myself, I think I definitely would have opened up quicker than what I did. I mean, I think I had great conversations great support from the individuals around me   - Julie McCorkle I didn't allow myself to be as vulnerable as I probably would today because there are a lot of great people out there that do truly care even if they don't understand or don't know what you need. I think I would have voiced that a lot sooner. Yeah and I think I would have allowed myself to recognize I need to be away from this.   - Julie McCorkle  I need to be away from work. I need to be away from D.C.. I just need to be in an area that is stress free where I just keep my mind off of the journey itself. What I'm going through and allow myself to voice that I definitely never allowed myself to voice that. And in hindsight I wish I would have. I'm just very fortunate I had people in my life that voiced it for me. And I think recognizing if you do or if you don't have those people allowing yourself to to utilize the help that somebody is willing to lend.   - Liesel Mertes Mm hmm. And for anyone who's listening that says Oh yeah I have someone in my life who is in the middle of this when I have an employee who, this is part of their story, where do you give to someone who finds themselves in those support roles?   - Julie McCorkle I would say to reach out to if you have somebody in your life and you've already developed that relationship where you can start the conversation just starting the conversation of itself is a great place to start. And just reach out to ask them what they need. Just let them talk. And then once they talk truly listen to what they're not necessarily saying. And those are the ways in which you can find to make a difference for that person.   MUSICAL TRANSITION   I want to close with a thanks to our podcast sponsor, FullStack PEO.  The good people at FullStack focus on your people so you can scale your business faster.    And we end, as always, with three take-aways…   Julie spoke about how important it was to have individuals in her life that pushed her to “take her space”, to acknowledge the pain and stress of this season. Like the boss that encouraged her to take time away from DC.  Julie became that person when she encouraged her coworker to go home after the baby shower debacle.  When people are going through stress, they are oftentimes consumed with the needs of the moment.  Perhaps you can be that friend or manager that encourages a friend dealing with infertility to take some necessary space and time; it can mean a lot. Julie was able to be open about her treatments and receive the help and advice of her managers and coworkers because there was a robust culture of trust and respect that was already present in her workplace. Is this the sort of truly supportive workplace that you are a part of?  If not, what are some proactive steps that you can take to build trust BEFORE hard times come?  IVF and infertility treatments can be tremendously taxing on both a physical and emotional level. As you can, give flexibility and understanding to the women in your organization going through IVF.  They are managing tremendous stress in their bodies as well as their schedules in addition to doing their daily work for the organization.   OUTRO  

According to an app I was on unmarried woman with kids are considered “damage goods”. I’m just trying to figure out how did they come up with that. Check out what I had to say about it. Enjoy!

In comics,The Ultimate Nullifier is a tiny, complex, even mysterious device that, when used as a weapon, more or less erases its user, their target, and the planet they both occupy. Today, I received the picture-postcard you sent me, the one with "Thinking of you!" scrawled on the back, as if to teach me that in real life, destroying two people and a reality requires only simple - even conventional - measures. This week, the Miracles in Manhattan Podcast talks about Lesson 10 of A Course in Miracles...and other matters. Things get funny. Talking points include: A pretty-good AI, or: WE HAVE TRANSCRIPTS!!!  2019 resolution: podcast from the astral plane Experience = perception - thoughts. (And other basic maths) Pablo Picasso was never called an a$$h0l3. Not in New York Marco shows that talking about Zen - isn’t very “Hi! Nothing means anything to me!” (A MiM-approved first-date convo starter.) Steph talks to dead people, but doesn't laugh   The Mountain Goats. The Orpheus Protocol. Let’s tangent.  We’re taking life-questions. Email us! miraclesinmanhattan@gmail.com (Usual MiM suspects also appear: advice, ACIM, A Course in Miracles, true crimes, true mind, comedy, pain, The Present, Love, Dating, Race, BDSM, the body, Spirit, Self-help, Spirituality) Find more content at miraclesinmanhattan.com | @Wildmanhattan (t) | #Podernfamily   TRANSCRIPT: In praise of meaningless thoughts. ACIM. Miracles in Manhattan. Marco Maisto and Rev. Stephanie Wild. Produced by Wild Stories and Rogue Signal Studios, NYC. Marco: [00:00:06] Summer has broken its chokehold. Sometimes highs are in the 70s. It's back to school season. [00:00:17] It's lovely day to be in New York City. [00:00:23] Welcome to Miracles in Manhattan. [00:00:31] My thoughts do not mean anything. It's going to be a lot easier to podcast on the astral plane because I have to say when we get there. Yeah. Because all we have to do is think stuff. Yes. And then everyone knows it. Marco: [00:00:51] Hi and welcome back to Miracles in Manhattan. The show where two spiritual delinquents lead you through a course in miracles trying to wake up in the city that never sleeps. I'm Marco here with my good friend, the Reverend Stephanie Wild. How are you and the upgrade? Stephanie: [00:01:09] I am absolutely great today. Thank you. Beautiful weather. I will. Stephanie: [00:01:15] I did a lot of walking through the city. It's just been so nice. The leaves are changing. Gorgeous. [00:01:25] Get to watch me plug in plugs for two hour hour and. It might have been my story. Let's let's split the difference at three. Stephanie: [00:01:33] Sure. Cool. But you know what? It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter because all is good. I just looked around the room and. Stephanie: [00:01:43] Realize that there's a market don't mean anything. Yes. Oh, OK. That's part of the gig. People know what they're in for. It's so funny. You notice those things. I just don't ever notice them. Marco: [00:01:56] I loved it. I noticed them on behalf of the listener. Stephanie: [00:01:59] Yeah, well, that's part of your job. I guess a part of my job is not denied. So, yes, I have a trick like when I'm meditating and something like that happens. [00:02:13] I've trained my subconscious mind to use that as a signal to go deeper into meditation. [00:02:18] It's interesting when I'm in a meditative state, that sort of thing doesn't bother me the way it does no better. But I haven't done what you just said. That's interesting. Mm hmm. Yeah, it's going to be a lot easier to podcast on the astral plane is all I have to say when we get there. Stephanie: [00:02:35] Yeah. Because all we have to do is think stuff. Stephanie: [00:02:39] Yes. And then everyone knows it. Marco: [00:02:43] Exactly. Throw away your iPhone. Cool. All right. So we're gonna want to take a shot, I believe. Let's turn. Stephanie: [00:02:52] Yeah. Let's try this in ten. So. So listen, ten is. My thoughts do not mean anything. So if you if you remember a little while ago we did. Lesson 4 and lesson 4 was these thoughts do not mean anything. So now we're taking it a little further and linking the idea to ourselves our own thoughts. And if you remember also lesson eight, because we're slowly building right step by step. So if you meant the lesson eight, it says, my mind is preoccupied with past thoughts and we've learned that. Our thoughts are all about the past. Marco: [00:03:48] So if our thoughts are all about the past, then they can't be true because right now we're in this present moment. Stephanie: [00:04:01] And we're just reinforcing that, we're just reinforcing that, except we're applying it to our own thoughts and less than 10. Again, my thoughts did not mean anything. Marco: [00:04:16] Let me ask you a clarifying question. What you just said is that to say that that a preoccupation with think with thoughts written in the past is in itself meaningless. Stephanie: [00:04:29] Or counterproductive. Stephanie: [00:04:34] Preoccupation. Yes. Right. Okay. Yes. OK. So it says here in lesson 10. That we are emphasizing that the presence of thoughts means that we are not, in fact thinking this is merely another way of repeating our earlier statement that our mind is really a blank. So that's true mind. It's a blank, right? Stephanie: [00:05:10] Which means we if it's a blank when it's blank. We are experiencing the present moment and that is reality. But when we're thinking we're living in the past and that is not reality. Stephanie: [00:05:27] That's all it is. OK. That's all it is. Marco: [00:05:32] That seems to put a lot a heavy burden on perception and doesn't it? If the. Stephanie: [00:05:38] That's right. We're dismantling perceptions. Perception is not reality. Right. True perception. Stephanie: [00:05:47] I mean, yeah, he's is, but thought it's not a true perception, right? Yeah. Marco: [00:05:56] Somebody who is a in the art world kind of told me something maybe relative relevant to that. If you look at kind of mid to later Picasso portraits, you'll notice that as soon as he gets away from kind of a realistic style. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. The first thing that happens is that the eyes go sideways. That's the no. They're on the same plane. Stephanie: [00:06:22] Like to me, The Philistine: "Yeah. The eyes go sideways, dude!" Yeah. They look weird, right? Yeah. Marco: [00:06:29] I guess according to this person that was sort of his engagement with with with truly perceiving without thinking about the subject Lou. Stephanie: [00:06:40] Oh OK. Yeah. Marco: [00:06:41] Later to be taken up by Kandinsky in point. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just said so many things that we @ me. Stephanie: [00:06:50] Please don't ask me for any of that. No, we're just a couple of spiritual delinquents, which is a couple of people just sort of bumbling around in a net. Stephanie: [00:06:58] That helps me actually. Yeah. Yeah. No wonder I like Picasso so much though, that era. Well whatever period. Isn't that the proper word. Yeah. Stephanie: [00:07:08] Yeah. Cool. All right. Well, let me let me describe the exercise and then we can talk some more. So this is the way we do this exercise. Stephanie: [00:07:19] We close our eyes and we repeat the lesson. My thoughts do not mean anything. And then we add this idea will help to release me from all that I now believe. We search our mind for all the thoughts that are available to us without selecting any specific ones or judging them or classifying them. [00:07:44] It says here, and I think this is a useful tip we can imagine that we're watching and oddly assorted procession going by, which has little, if any, personal meaning to you. So as each thought crosses our mind, we say my thought about this doesn't mean anything. I thought about that doesn't mean anything. And repeat, this idea will help to release me from all that I now believe. So there's a few things it sort of almost like a little set of mantras or something. Marco: [00:08:17] Mm hmm. Stephanie: [00:08:19] And it says here that where to do this five times a day for no more than a minute each and we can do it for less time if we experience discomfort. [00:08:30] Right. [00:08:32] Would you recommend somebody do that exercise? Indoors versus outdoors versus what kind of setting? [00:08:41] Oh, it doesn't matter because it's only about our thoughts. We're not actually looking around ourselves this time, but we're applying this to our thoughts. [00:08:48] So you could be anywhere, just you could close your eyes, open the movie, anywhere. Why do you ask that? [00:08:56] I think it's well, because, again, because I think there is a perceptual component ultimately to this. It is an interesting exercise to do both in a room where nothing's happening and also on a street where a procession of meaningless objects is passing. [00:09:15] Except that it says close your eyes for these exercise. And I didn't listen to them. [00:09:21] Close your eyes and then repeat. My thoughts do not mean anything. This idea will help to release me from all that I now believe. My thought about this doesn't mean anything. My thought about that doesn't mean anything. [00:09:31] This idea will help to release me from all that I now believe. [00:09:36] The other the other ones are. That was a good suggestion at the earlier expense, but my suggestion that can be applied. [00:09:43] But you have to figure out which products to apply them to you yet that that whole thing couldn't sound more zen. Oh yeah. They can get closer to the kind of zen practice. You couldn't be closer. Pretty much, yeah. I mean, the idea of a lot of ways it's about again, separating things from. The associations we have with them, right, might be they personal or you know, that being a bottle of cologne and a coffee cup and what I feel about those, right. [00:10:19] My thought about this cologne doesn't mean anything. Yeah, yeah. My thought about that coffee doesn't mean anything. [00:10:25] And again, in one of my Facebook dating groups, someone popped up. [00:10:32] Maybe you should clarify that because I've had to ask you what that means. Facebook dating group is a group is not a group of people on Facebook trying to date. [00:10:40] Oh, no, no, no. What is it? It's a it's a group where people talk about dating people outside the group online usually. You know, it's it's a lot of women kvetching about online dating. Sure. Sure. There's one of them, I mean, which has men in it, too, which is, I think, a bit more useful. Yeah. Yeah. What's it called? [00:11:04] You know, boy, that couldn't be less relevant. I'll look it up. [00:11:08] Yeah. I mean three or four of unlikely, you know. But anyway, so this this is popped up. Woman's dating a guy. I get how long. [00:11:19] Not terribly long, not months, but not more than weeks. And she met him for lunch or something and he was dropping her off at her office or something anyway, and she goes to take a selfie with him together. [00:11:33] Oh, Sophie. He goes on a first date. No, no, no, no, no. This is after us. More more than weeks, but less than months. Like it's within the first 90 days of dating, let's say. But they've been on a bunch of dates. So that's a move that the moment. Yeah. It was a moment. It was a thing. Yeah. So he goes, oh, that's not my good side. Oh. And get out of it and get out of it, you know. And then I got out of the shop. Yeah. I wouldn't let her do it. So she's all like what the fuck. [00:11:59] You know, I like what does this mean. You know, she's seeing someone else. It was really rude. I'm really upset. I went home and cried for two hours and. Mm hmm. So, I mean, this is this is really a great example. Like her thoughts don't mean anything about that. There's no way she could know, right. Unless she asks him or a psychic or comes to me to ask me, what do you think, what it meant? Because me, for example, I put selfies on social media all the time with anyone. I mean, I took one in the street. This guy got me to sign up for this thing and took a selfie with him. [00:12:38] Yeah. Often without notifying. Yeah. Yeah. As in the cases when I find myself online, I don't know that I'm gonna do that deal with. Yeah. We need to talk about that later anyway. [00:12:53] And then other people don't put that Sophie's online at all. Ever. They might especially teachers, public school teachers. Sure. So. And then I did have a moment with my former boyfriend where he got really squarely about me taking a selfie. [00:13:12] And that was because he was cheating on me and he didn't want his girlfriend cause. Right. And so these are completely different, different behaviors. [00:13:20] But the last one that you named. Yeah, I would. I'm just gonna go ahead and say that I would. Yeah. I think that that's gonna be the first thing to mind that it was the first thing to her mind. Right. And it's unfortunate because if you just by virtue of all the other things that you named. Even statistically, it's its tenth the most likely reason not to be in a selfie. For me, again, it it would tell it is 100 percent about. This is a step towards solidifying a relationship. [00:13:55] Yes. And I am making a change. And that's what she was upset about because it signaled to her that he was not willing to take that step forward. Yeah, I see. But she also thought that she was. He was seeing some. Yeah. And that's why he wasn't willing. Right. So she might, too. She did assumptions. [00:14:14] Yeah, but you know, lesson 10, my thoughts don't mean anything like she could have avoided all this upset if she'd done these exercises. [00:14:21] You know, my thoughts don't mean anything. You can still find out. You can still ask. You can meditate. You can improve your intuition. You can do all that stuff without getting a broken heart, without getting crying for two hours, without wasting that energy and time. [00:14:37] Now, you don't need to be so attached to your thoughts, which in fact, don't mean anything. [00:14:43] All right. We're less than ten in what makes sense very much to be called the Course in Miracles, because this is a very tall order that's being asked of somebody. [00:14:55] And it does it not? Yes. Yes. And that's why we do it step by step by step, little by little by little. This way. That way. Just for a minute at a time. All right. [00:15:08] But, you know, as it says here in this exercise, this idea will help to release me from all that I now believe and that release is such a relief. [00:15:18] You know. Yeah. Oh, absolutely, absolutely. I mean, I have experience I've definitely experienced prolonged moments at that stage, right. Where my what you said was released for more than a blink or where my wife where I was not invested in the putting meaning into my thoughts where I was. Right. Oh you from that release from. Yeah, sometimes by accident. And then after a lot of practice, sometimes, you know, on purpose. And it's been great. It's it's not. And it is probably a very its course is the natural state. It's a very natural state. But it's not one that's easily. You know, it's not easy to bounce back into without consistent press. [00:15:59] Right. It's a habit. It's a new habit of thinking, which is exactly what a course in miracles is all about. [00:16:05] I feel like if you master the skill and and walked into a first date, you would you would. It would be like dating an alien. It would be like dating. [00:16:12] You mean da man? I would be the star man. [00:16:15] I yeah, if I like sat down next across from somebody I had meeting for the first time and just like spoke truly from my heart about, you know, a world where I was not associating meetings to things. It it's just not the culture. But I think that. [00:16:32] Well. Well, I mean, just trying to imagine. You know, I don't walk into dates and start talking about how nothing means anything to me. [00:16:39] No. [00:16:40] I mean, if you had dinner date in this state of state of mind, right? Well, you bet I do. [00:16:46] Maybe you're right. Maybe, um, that's that's what I do. Yeah. And. [00:16:52] But so. But the thing is, see, we only need like a little bit of ego. This is all about dismantling the ego. We only need as much ego as it takes just to have a personality and not to be like dummy, man, dummy. [00:17:08] There would look what I said or whatever, you know. Right. Oh, I see. And I like that believable object. Yeah. [00:17:20] So how do you keep my personality? Sure. Sure. Sure, sure. But this is how I walk around. [00:17:29] Right. [00:17:30] And you know, the thing that the one thing that can be offensive to people is if I laugh at something that is conventionally serious, subject to a traumatic subject or a tragic event. Example, please. Well, I had a client the other day and she is a hospice nurse. And as we started our work, she was giggling. And and we were talking about. She was wondering, you know, is this her purpose on earth? Is she doing the right thing, moving to this new career? [00:18:07] And Spirit was was revealing that. Yes, it absolutely was, because she saw death as a joyful transition. Now she has to be very careful not to laugh and be very, very happy when people are dying, right? [00:18:26] Yeah. Yeah. [00:18:31] So, yeah, that is it's funny you should say. Yeah, that's weird. I come from a family where we're all forms of a tragedy. Maiming and horror are met with like a moment of acknowledgement followed by like let's make this somehow funny. Yes. Therapeutic and also horrible. [00:18:58] Yeah. There's I'm not sure if it's different from gallows humor. [00:19:00] I think that's a step towards it. I think my client was beyond that. It wasn't about gallows at all. It was truly a joyful transition, which is just how I see it. But I think gallows humor is really can be really healthy and a really good step towards it can be. [00:19:18] And thirty nine years of it straight is is something other than helpful. [00:19:26] Yeah. Well, right. I mean especially. And then if you're drinking it down, you know, you're having a week or whatever is you know, and you're drinking it all down. You know, that's not really helpful. [00:19:33] But yeah. What do we laugh at today? It was a song you played me and we laugh. Oh, I laughed really hard at some lyric. Oh, well, it was it was it it took all the coke in town to bring down Dennis Brown. No, it was it was a little be that song, but it was a long before that about shooting. Was Kurt Cobain, was it that. No, it wasn't a about one too, by the way. It was a good one, too. So here in the mountain songs, we you know, we're about walking into and shooting people. [00:20:01] Uh. Oh, pumping full of lead. Right. [00:20:07] What's it like trying to remember? We're going to get back to you on that. But I always I'm going to bribe the officials. I'm going to kill all the judges. I don't know. Mountain Goats. The sunset tree. It's on there anyway. [00:20:21] I'll have it by the end. But it was funny because I heard you laughing behind me and I was like, God. Not that many people in my life would laugh at this. Like I'm laughing. [00:20:30] It's right. And I'll tell you honestly, at least me at least one of those points, I think my laughter was half conscious because. I was. I knew what content was coming home, as much as I know you and know you, not to kind of like being offended by anything you know or need like sort of a trigger warning. That's not the term looking to use, but I have coloration. Yeah, I heard a much better term medium than that. Oh, just so content. The content preparation content till morning again. Content with something like that. I don't know heard. I've heard the Orpheus product content doesn't very well. It's beginning of episodes where in fiction something that could then content warning is not a bad way of doing it. But anyway. Yep. Right. So although you are not one to need much of that in my experience. Part of that laughter was to say. I know that this line is kind of fucked, huh? Yeah, I think. But after that, you know, can I can I pause? Yes. We should have maybe discussed earlier, but we don't. We're at episode 10 now. Episode 10, maybe eleven. Well, it's less than 10. Less than 10. Yes. But we're it we're a little bit into the podcast now. I don't really know if the listeners know what it means when you say I was working with a client. [00:22:01] Oh yeah. Right. So I'm a psychic medium and spiritualist minister and my clients come to me for help with spiritual growth. [00:22:13] And they sometimes have very specific questions like can I please talk to my recently deceased brother about what he wants to do about the will? Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Very useful. And other times it's like I'm being haunted in my dreams. [00:22:31] Or does this mean or I'm seeing things? Am I insane or it's helped me deal with my mother, who has always armors and I want to grow with this spiritual challenge so it can run the gamut. You know, it's ministering and it's psychic medium shaped like a psychic therapist. [00:22:53] Right. Okay. That's really funny. There's. The aforementioned Orpheus protocol features a character who is a psychic psychiatrist. [00:23:04] Oh, really? Would be the best psychiatrist. Well, that's what I'm saying. Everyone should come to me because I can tell you what people in your life are thinking. You don't have to, like, go round and run around about it, but you can't read minds. That's the one. [00:23:17] Oh, I do. Tune in. I can't. No. I should say I can't tell you what they're thinking. I can tell you what they're feeling. [00:23:23] Right. But if you could read minds, you would know that I was gonna bring us on this huge tangent, which I did. [00:23:29] Well, even if I could read minds, I have to choose to do it. So this is people thing. People think I walk around like knowing everything. [00:23:34] But no, that would be fucking magic. Goddamn nightmare. Yes, I know. I don't. I don't do that. I don't. I don't do that. Did you turn on and off? So where the hell are we now? Well, our thoughts don't mean anything, that's all. [00:23:51] We have to live in the moment. And this is an exercise to do it. Yeah, me think, you know, how do you think? [00:24:01] So let's say you work on this lesson and you start. You get getting it. It's working for you. What sort of outcomes might you. What? What? What things might you expect to see? Experience differently in your day to day question? [00:24:18] Yeah, totally, yeah. Well, it means you won't be upset so much like the the woman I mentioned, you know, someone's like jumping out of a selfie and you'll go, huh? And you'll get curious about it as opposed to attached to your own thought. Which leads to a painful emotion. And pretty soon, eventually, pretty soon, eventually, you won't be afraid of a broken heart. [00:24:46] And that that to me is something I would love to give to people, especially women, to go into dates, to go into relationships romantically, especially, but even with children and pair dying parents to go into them without being afraid of being hurt, because then you can live fully as opposed to living half way because you're afraid and you're putting up walls or getting defensive. [00:25:18] Okay. Can you tell? God it. [00:25:24] Oh, sorry. [00:25:24] I almost made it out on a huge way and I'm not gonna to that about why this is the third time we're trying to do that. I don't know. Nobody knows that. [00:25:34] It's an edit point. We can take that out. All right. So that's interesting what you just said. Especially interesting. What it's tell me, if you would. Because I don't know as a woman what what is a woman afraid of being? In what way is a woman afraid of being hurt on a on a first or second date? Aside from some, you know, really horrible over the top kind of thing. [00:26:02] I'm not sure if it's exactly being hurt like by the first or second type, but it's afraid of at some point the helicopter now breaking her heart. OK. Yeah, afraid of afraid of opening up. And at some point in the near ish future, the guy disappearing or changing his mind or not being the one and then she's left brokenhearted. [00:26:33] That is so interesting to me because I you my experience is sorta. Along the lines of. Not knowing when, not knowing when it's the right moment to kind of show emotion because that can scare a person. In my experience, you showing emotion scares the women. That's a concern of mine. I don't know that it does. I mean, I've not heard that feedback because. Well, I just haven't. But I think. Well, so shown. OK. So, I mean, I think you'd agree that that that showing more than average emotion means that you're communicating to the other person, that you are prepared. You have a greater depth emotionally and that you're you're getting invested in the relationship. I have feelings for you. And now, you know, the last time. [00:27:33] Well, that's two different things. And I think that's a very important point. And what I try to teach is that just having feelings right now doesn't mean you're promising anything. It doesn't mean you're investing. I don't even know what that word means. I would assume that it means I'm investing in the future. [00:27:51] Like, if, you know, if it's like a financial term, like I'm putting money into this for four in the hope of future future gains. And I and I think that that's wrong, wrong mindedness. I think that's the perception that we can benefit from dissolving. I can be very, very much in the moment and expressing an incredibly strong, deep and high and wide emotion. Yes. Do not expect anyone to ask me to marry them or not not ask anyone on a second date. I mean, it just it is now that. [00:28:32] And that's fantastic. I have not. Run into a lot of people like that, right, and I think that's what we're trying to learn here. [00:28:40] Right. [00:28:47] So we've done it. I think we'll be there'll be more on this in a minute. [00:28:51] And after midnight for the no. But to come. [00:28:56] Ok. Well, let's let's end this here. Let's go to Americans in Manhattan after midnight. What is it? Miracles after midnight? [00:29:01] Something like that. Yeah. Well, let's go to let's invite people to that site. But oh, we should also tell people, hey, guys and gals, we have an e-mail address now. Yes, we do. [00:29:12] And why do we have an e-mail address stuff so that you can e-mail us questions with questions? We're taking questions. Miraclesinmanhattan@gmail.com [00:29:20] We are going to answer your questions in as apt a fashion as we answer one another's here on this. [00:29:28] Yes. Miracles in Manhattan, Gmail dot com. Easy to remember. Yeah. All you have to do is remember the name of the podcast. And then Gee Mary, popular Google product Miracles in Manhattan, G.M. dot com. [00:29:41] So just remember that. Well, we'll point you in the right direction. Yeah. And yeah. [00:29:47] Friels do to please e-mail questions and don't feel like they need to be totally pertinent to the episode you just listened to. [00:29:54] No, no, no. I need any any of you any lesson yet. All right. Well, that's lesson 10. OK, I'll see you next time. [00:30:03] Let's move on. All right. That's that. We're done here. All right. [00:30:06] Hey, have a great week. Then you say goodbye. Oh, by the way. Sure. I'll keep. That was fun. That was good. I can. We're back on track in. --- Spirituality, sexuality, love, mental health  

Matthew Sweet joins us to unpack his process of writing power pop gems like "Girlfriend," "The Ugly Truth," "Sick of Myself" and many others. EPISODE DETAILS: PART ONE Scott and Paul analyze mix tapes, cool bands, and "older brother rock." PART TWO - 5:29 mark Paul and Scott jump on the phone with Matthew Sweet, one of the nicest rock stars on the planet, to get the lowdown on how a postcard from Michael Stipe altered his musical future; why he says being a solo artist is lonely; the reason he describes the drums on "Girlfriend" as "odd." why a paralyzing fear of flying kept him off airplanes for nearly a decade; what he really thinks of being labeled "power pop;" why he was conflicted about making The Thorns album; what happened when he suggested that he and Susanna Hoffs write an album together; and the song he collaborated on with a Saturday Night Live legend that led to another SNL legend covering one of his very earliest recordings. ABOUT MATTHEW SWEET Best known for hits such as “Girlfriend” and “Sick of Myself,” Matthew Sweet is a melodically-oriented rock tunesmith who was at the center of the 1990s power pop revival. After befriending R.E.M., the native Nebraskan relocated to Georgia, where he joined Michael Stipe’s sister Lynda’s band, Oh-OK and launched his own group Buzz of Delight.  Sweet eventually launched his solo career from New York and then Los Angeles, earning gold certification for his albums Girlfriend and 100% Fun. The latter was named one of the year’s best by Entertainment Weekly, and he has gone on to release a dozen more critically-acclaimed solo albums. Additionally, he has collaborated on a series of cover song projects with Susana Hoffs, as well as on an album of original material in collaboration with Shawn Mullins and Pete Droge under the name The Thorns.   As a songwriter, Matthew has collaborated with The Jayhawks, Hanson, Michael Stipe, Chris Stamey, and Jules Shear, with whom he wrote the title track for ‘Til Tuesday’s album Everything’s Different Now. His most recent album is titled Wicked System of Things.   

How would you know if there were experiences from the earliest moments of your life affecting you here and now? And if you are indeed being impacted by the distant past - what can you do to heal those early traumas so that you’re more free and connected in your current life? Our guest today is Peter Levine, creator of Somatic Experiencing, and author of many bestselling books on healing trauma - “Waking the Tiger”, “In an Unspoken Voice”, and “Trauma and Memory” - just to name a few! Today you’ll learn how to recognize the signs of these deep emotions, and what to do to regulate them, as well as how to help our co-regulate with your partner, to build a stronger, more resilient foundation for your relationship (and within yourself).  As always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Check out my other episodes with Peter Levine: Episode 127 of Relationship Alive on Building Resilience Episode 29 on Healing Your Triggers and Trauma Sponsors: Migraines are a real headache. For a consult with a licensed doctor to figure out a personalized treatment plan for you, and for a free month of acute and preventative medicines to treat your migraines, visit withcove.com/alive. Resources: Visit Peter Levine’s website to learn more about his work and Somatic Experiencing. Pick up a copy of Peter Levine’s books on Amazon. FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE) Visit www.neilsattin.com/levine2 to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Peter Levine. Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin  Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host Neil Sattin. As always we are exploring both the relational skills and the inner healing that's required in order to show up fully in your life and in your relationships. Today, we are fortunate to have a return visit from none other than Peter Levine -- one of the world's experts on healing trauma and also the creator of somatic experiencing one of the world's foremost modalities on healing trauma of all kinds. This can be the big kinds of traumas that people think of, you know, with war, and assault, and things like that. Or, it can be the smaller traumas that that still have a huge impact on us, things that happen in our childhood things that happen in our day to day lives. So, today in our conversation with Peter Levine we're going to be talking about how our early attachment traumas affect us in our adult lives and what we can do about that to bring more presence to our relationships. As always we will have a detailed transcript of today's conversation which you can get if you visit Neil-Sattin-dot-com-slash-Levine-2. That's L-E-V-I-N-E, as in Peter Levine and then the number two. Peter has also been on the show a couple other times, so if you, if you check out Episode 127 you can listen to us talking about resilience. Or I used the kind of funny form of that word resiliency, and uh, way back in Episode 29 we were talking about the again the effects of trauma on our lives and how to heal it. So we're building a comprehensive library here for you to help you get present and free your cells as and your physiology as well as your mind and your emotions -- your mind body spirit from the pernicious effects of trauma on our lives.  Neil Sattin  So as always Peter thank you so much for joining us here today. It's great to have you again.  Peter Levine  Sure, sure.    So let's just without having to give the full picture because I definitely think that our listeners can, can go and check out those other episodes that the two of us have done together. Let's talk about what might constitute an early attachment trauma or an early attachment wounding. What kinds of things would be the kind of thing that might stick with someone into their adult lives?  Peter Levine  Yeah. Well you know, I mean, so many things from our past from our deep deep long past do affect us. They don't affect, they don't affect us in ways that we're conscious of, I mean that's part of the problem. And. I think of attachment, probably a little bit different than than most people do. I look more along a developmental arc about what happens to us from womb to, to adolescence and and the memories we carry. Now I said the memories are not conscious. But what are they? Well, we have to just take a couple of minutes to understand, at least comprehend, the different types of memory. Basically that some memories are conscious, are explicit. Other memories are much more unconscious and those are called implicit memories. And our basic attachments have to do with implicit memories. It has very little to do with explicit memories. That's one of the reasons why I think probably therapists often struggle in working with the early attachment wounds because they're so deeply ingrained in the, in the body experience and and can only really be accessed through the vehicle of sensations and these sensations are very primitive sensations very old, very raw. So, if we look at an implicit memories there are basically two types. One type is emotional. And so for example if you're introduced to somebody for the first time and all of a sudden you feel anger or fear or revulsion or just wanting to avoid them. There's a good chance that this stems from earlier experience with somebody who had some of those same qualities, so they get triggered and then they explode in an emotional way. I mean we all experience something like that at different times. You know, as an example, uh, a couple that's riding in their car and the wife is driving and they make a wrong turn. And her husband starts yelling at her: "Don't you know where you're going?" And then of course he starts laughing and they both died laughing. But from that moment something in him something in not being to the party at time or being lost, triggered some kind of a.. an old engram, an old memory trace. I sometimes am a little hesitant to use the word memory because the memories are so different than the conscious explicit memories. Ok, then even deeper than the emotional memories, which again do have to do with our early experiences as well as our development over the lifespan, that the other type of memory is called procedural memory. And these are memories that happen in our bodies and they can be both positive and negative, depending a lot on what our early experiences were in the womb at birth and during the bonding process.  Peter Levine  And procedural memories very often are long, longlasting, and I divide them into two categories. One are basic things that the body learns such as for example, teaching a child how to ride a bike. So the parent or an older sibling by the side of the child and has their hands on the bicycle and they walk together and then run together, run and then bikes goes a little bit faster and then just at that right moment the parent lets go of the bike because they sense that the child is being able to balance themselves and then the child rides off on the bicycle and wants to go on the bicycle every day for the next six months. Because they're thrilled at that accomplishment. They now have a new memory, a new procedural memory, a new body memory and that involves a lot of different things that the body does. So if the parent trying to explain to the child: "Well, if you, if you, if you bend over this way your center of gravity will go off that way. So you'll have to turn the bicycle in that direction." It's just impossible.  Neil Sattin  Right.  Peter Levine  The body learns that quick, quick, quick, and once it's there even with a memory like that a positive memory like that the child is - you never forget how to ride a bicycle. That adage is largely true. It really is. So let me give you an example -- and again those memories can be positive like learning to ride a bike or learning dance steps or they can be highly negative. But let me give you an example and it does affect - It does introduce the relationship between attachment and these memories.  Neil Sattin  Ok.  Peter Levine  God, I don't know. Twenty, twenty-five years ago or so I was visiting my parents in New York City, in the Bronx. And so I spent the day down in Manhattan going to museums and it was coming back in the train the D train and train was packed with men in similar suits with newspapers folded under their arms. And so. But there was one particular person I just I didn't even see his face. There was just something about his posture that had a strange effect on me and I felt a slight slight expansion of my chest and a little bit of a warmth in my belly as I paid attention to my body sensations. So unbeknownst to me in a way I was having a memory but certainly not a conscious memory because you know I hadn't been the type, who knows why I was having this attachment. So anyhow, he, we both got off at the last stop. The crowds thinned out. Two-hundred-and-fifth street and I walked up to him and the fact, the words came out of my mouth out of my lips. I wasn't even consciously aware of saying them. I touched his arm and I said, "Arnold." And he looked at me utterly perplexed and puzzled. And we just stayed there for a moment. And then I said, "Arnold, you were in my first grade class with Ms. Campini. And well I would say, I would say, he was astonished, we were both astonished. There is something that I knew him in this class many decades before several decades before. Yet there was some attraction to that person because I obviously I don't remember everybody who was in the class. He's probably the only person I do remember that was in my in my first grade class. I mean I do remember bullies and I was very bullied at the time because I came in I was younger I came in in the middle of the class time, middle of the semester, and I had my ears were the same size then as they are now. So kids tease me about and call me Dumbo. And so I was bullied a lot. And Arnold was the one child that seemed to support me that seemed to care about me and it wasn't even verbal support. It was some, I just felt him someway, somehow on my side. So that implicit procedural memory is something that I've carried forth, for the rest of my life. Hopefully our early attachment figures have something like that so that when we are meeting another person, for, in terms of cultivating or being in a relationship or navigating the vicissitudes relationship that we have these positive memories, which have to do with approach. OK. Keep that word in mind. Approach.  Neil Sattin  Ok.  Peter Levine  If on the other hand we have had neglect, abuse, confusion, in our early experiences, we have procedural memories that are primary avoidance. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully, the positive experiences, the approach experiences are much greater than the avoidance experiences because that's what we need for a healthy relationship. So. OK. So, anyhow let's look at some of the kinds of things that happened early in our experience of the world.  Peter Levine  So. So as I was saying hopefully they approach procedural memories outweigh the they avoidance one. But again starting way way back our experiences in utero. You know, if the mother is in a relaxed state, which again is a good reason why hopefully, mothers are able to spend it. Certainly the later part of their pregnancy at home doing things they enjoy to do settling, resting, preparing, that, so, however if the mother is under a lot of stress, accumulated stress during that period particularly the later part of gestation, that stress through different channels is actually passed on to the fetus. It does this by certain chemicals that are released when the mother is under stress but also direct neural mechanisms that, that, that, that increase or decrease the blood flow to the placent-placenta itself. So the placenta increases level of carbon dioxide, less oxygen, which stresses the fetal nervous system and overstimulated it. And then, what often happens in these studies were done in animals of course, is that you have this tremendously increase in the activity of the whole brain. But then after a certain point it just shuts down. And so again here already, we're hopefully having positive implicit experiences, but we also might be having negative ones.  Peter Levine  Then birth of course is the next stage here in development and my sense is that the, the utilization of midwives and doulas is a little bit starting to come back taking the birth process out of the realm of a, of a disease that needs to be dealt with medically.  Neil Sattin  Right.  Peter Levine  To part of a natural process. But anyhow. And so during that time again the fetus the newborn can be extremely stressed. But, here's the, here's the, the, the hopeful part because eh, that the parents, the caregivers can also soothe the distress of the infant after it's born, can really hold it, rock it, soothe it, patiently. So again it's getting a positive imprint a positive memory of being able to be helped out of the distressed state into a state of settling, of a relaxation because remember an infant can not regulate itself. If it's distressed, it has precious little in the way of being able to, to, to come down from that activation and that will -- and calm itself. It needs to be, the term used often is, co-regulated by the caregiver. So by holding, soothing, singing, gently rocking all of those kinds of things helps the newborn regulate.  Neil Sattin  So.  Peter Levine  And again. Yeah go ahead, anytime you want.  Neil Sattin  So there are a couple things that are jumping out at me. One of them being that from the youngest moments of our existence, we're creating memories that are that are not the kind of memory that you would typically think about, you know, where you can picture a story in your head of something happening. These are actual body memories and emotional experiences that just live within us and can be evoked in the present. But they don't necessarily, they're not necessarily something that have a story attached to them that you would consciously remember.  Peter Levine  Yes.  Neil Sattin  And then the second piece that's popping into place for me is around how, so there are all these things that are just kind of happening to us when we're in the womb. And then when we come out and are born there's this additional component where we're associating these really intense visceral experiences in our neurobiology with our primary caregiver so with our primary attachment figures, and I can already see this kind of setting up what plays out in, in our future selves when we are actually entering partnership with others, so we create attachments as adults with the people who are, who we can be most vulnerable with, most cared for most caring to, et cetera. But it's like --.  Peter Levine  Or the opposite.  Neil Sattin  Exactly. Good point, good point. And memory being what it is, just the presence of these people will naturally evoke some of these early memories. And then if we're not aware that that's happening, it's clear that that could create all sorts of problems because you might think that it's something specifically about your partner that is evoking this particular sensation, you might not know you're having a memory you might think whatever they just did is absolutely disgusting, and revolting and whereas you're really actually having a memory and I'm wondering as an adult how do we begin to tease apart the two or is it not even really important to do that? Maybe it's more important to just think about how we process those experiences so that they're not impacting us quite so profoundly? Peter Levine  All right. Well actually let me go back to, to baby time.  Neil Sattin  Yeah. Let's go back.  Peter Levine  Before we go to adult. And this is and this is actually an example of work with a 14 month old and the session is all, is described and along with photographs in, in my most recent book, "Trauma And Memory: Brain And Body In A Search For The Living Past." So again it's how the past lives within us. Anyhow Baby Jack was born of an extremely traumatic birth. The cord was three ti-- it was around his neck three times, at the last minute he turned breech and he had the more mother tried to push, the more that Jack tried to propel against the uterine wall. He became more and more wedged at the apex of the uterus. In other words, oh! Maybe some people don't know that actually the birth process itself is not just about the mother pushing the baby out, but the baby actually pushing itself out. So the more Jack pushed the more he got wedged, the more he got stuck in, you know in the new apex of the uterus, and so they did an emergency caesarean his, his heart rate was starting to go down significantly. And even so they still couldn't pull him out. So they use suction to pull him out. And use it -- this is a very traumatic birth. And he was suffering from some physical symptoms which would have required that they do endoscopes and also looking into his lung, uh, a procedure which would have certainly really add a tremendous amount of traumatization to this fourteen, to this infant which has already been highly traumatized. So the baby has been highly traumatized. So I start to work with him. And again and you'll see that the pictures in the book. But I take some wrapped rattles that were made for me by a Hopi person and I wrap them a little bit to get his attention and he's he's an alert person but his mother says he never will, you know, uh, stay still. Never just stay her lap and mold into her. She never had that experience of him. So she say "He'll maybe come over. But then he is off to the next thing again." And she says, "Oh and he can be okay when he is alone." So again you see this thing in relationships, when we're alone where we do we perceive ourselves to be OK, but then when we're in a relations with somebody, we can lose all of that. So anyhow he reaches for the rattle as I hand it towards him. And then he retracts his hand his arm and just, it goes limp. And so he is now having a memory. He cannot talk about this memory because he doesn't really have words and even if he could they wouldn't be the words that could, would work. So then I give the rattle to him again and this time he pushes against the rattle. And I say "Yeah that's great, Jack." You know because he had all, he was taken away. All these tubes all these procedures that were done, and he felt, he was helpless. He was this little teeny baby and all of these, you know, giants were doing these things towards him. So anyhow we continue with this and at one point I put my hand on his middle back, because I see that's where he stiffens when his mother starts talking about needing to, the doctors wanting to do an endoscopy. So anyhow this time he pushes against her leg really pushes any propelled, as though it was propelling himself through the birth canal as though it really was. Anyhow after that he just starts crying and crying and crying. It's just birth cry sounds. And his mother is just astonished. She said, "I've almost never heard him cry and I've never seen tears coming down." His tears coming from his eyes. And you can see it's both a combination of amazement and relief and she doesn't even quite know what that relief is about.  Peter Levine  Then at, at the end of this crying there is deep spontaneous breaths, deep spontaneous breaths and he just positions himself so he can mold into the mother's shoulder and then she knows exactly what to do now.  Peter Levine  She put her arm around him and gently holds him and you see them attaching. So it wasn't that she was a bad mother that prevented the attachment. That wasn't the case. It was that they got disconnected at birth. She was definitely a, in Winnicott's terms, a good enough mother, very caring mother. But again you see in youth, and you can see it in the pictures, her complete delight at him doing this and then they come in the next week for a checkup. And his mother says, "Oh, when, when we got home Jack went to sleep, and then at one o'clock in the morning he called out, 'Mama! Mama!' And she she came in and picked him up and he molded again right into her arm, right into her shoulders." Peter Levine  So this here is a, is a definitely implicit memory. And it turned out to be positive. But what if nothing had been done at that, had been done at that time. Then you can certainly project ahead and probably have a pretty good guess that he is going to have difficulties in relationships, that he's going to have difficulty in getting really close and bonding and attachment. So I'd be able to change that memory from the timeframe of this birth that really made it much more possible for him to have secure attachments in other later relationships. There's one thing I like to say about that. Oh OK. So even in this case, in a case, like this where there has been trauma, er, around the birth and around early attachment, we are still able to work with those memories. They may not be as accessible as they were with Baby Jack. But, but at the same time we can use language and imagery to help the person connect with those procedural memories and to transform them, to transmute them, from negative ones which were dominating Jack to positive ones of approach. And again we want a relationship -- a relationship is not going to be able to really survive, unless there is much more approach memories than avoidance memories. But again these things can be shifted even in our adult life, but they will come up in close relationships. And if we have had those difficulties experienced negative experience if we were neglected... You know, when I was born, the medical wisdom at the time was, first of all, give the mother all kinds of drugs and then do not breastfeed because breast-feeding was unsanitary. I mean, can you imagine how archaic that was?  Neil Sattin  Oh my god.  Peter Levine  And to add insult to injury they also instructed parents not to pick, not to pick up their babies when the babies were crying because the babies would just use that to manipulate them.  Neil Sattin  Right.  Peter Levine  I mean think about that, that, that's abuse. Frankly, as we understand today. But that was the that, was the that was the understanding of the time the wisdom at the time.  Peter Levine  So anyhow when people from my generation were crying and upset we weren't held. And so that's the memory that we carry, that when we're upset we will not be able to calm. So we're, if we're upset in adult relationship we do not expect to be calmed, and we won't even allow ourselves to be calmed. So we either avoid the relationship or become over dependent in the relationship to soothe us because we're unable to be soothed. And again one of the things that we teach in somatic experiencing, is to help people learn this is part of working with these procedural memories, to have people learn to be able to regulate themselves. And for couples to learn how to regulate each other, because there's a pretty good chance that if you you're dysregulated you find a dysregulated person to, to be in relationship with or, or opposite.  Neil Sattin  Yeah. So, wow, there are so many things jumping out at me right now and I definitely obviously we're not going to go through the whole body of work of somatic experiencing right now. I do hope that we can offer our listeners a few things they can do when they notice these things coming out. All your books that I've read have been such a revelation to me and in particular when it comes to applying your work, there is a rather thin book called "Healing Trauma," that we've spoken about before, that I think is just so great because it offers like a whole sequence of exercises that people can work through that, that take you on this journey of of uncovering these implicit memories and and unearthing them and being able to resolve them in the moment like you were describing resolving or the resolution of your work with that with baby Jack. When you were describing the ways that your generation was or that your parents were taught to to care for your generation when you were born. It made me also think about the way that trauma is passed from generation to generation because what I think happened to a lot of people in my generation was that their parents were, you know, the product of this whole you know don't, don't breastfeed the baby, don't pick up the baby, and then when when they were presented with a baby that was crying or inconsolable, even if they had a different sense maybe of like, "Oh I'm supposed to be doing this differently or differently than my parents did." It's evoking all of these implicit memories for my parents. Um, and which makes it much more challenging for them to show up as a regulating force for their children.  Peter Levine  Yeah yeah yeah. Or sometimes the parents will try to do the opposite of what they had experienced. And so there's another key feature here which is also important is, that absolutely you know for the first several some months after birth the child basically has to be held and rocked, eh, when it's upset. But then you know starting after several months like nine months or so, it's also important that, because once the child has had enough solid procedural m-memories, experience of being calm, being settled then it is important to at least allow for the child to be upset for some amount of time, so that they can also bring in their capacity, their gradually learned capacity to self regulate. And often parents who come, where they were not picked up, and where they were just left in this, this, this swamp of distress, they may have trouble to not immediately pick up their baby when it's crying and then immediately hold it.  Peter Levine  So, sometimes those children don't develop a full enough capacity for self regulation, which can also can be problematic in later relationships, because of course we're going to be upset with things that our, that our spouses do, our partners do. And... But the question is do we have tools so that we don't just go into profound distress and despair every time something happens that upsets us. So we do need to have both, I think, I just mentioned this, the capacity to regulate and to co-regulate and to get some of these skills that the book that you mentioned, book-CD, actually by "sounds true" called "Healing Trauma," something like, "A pioneering program for healing trauma." I don't know but anyhow...  Neil Sattin  "A Pioneering Program For Restoring The Wisdom of Your Body." Peter Levine  Ah. That's it. OK thank you. So again, some of the exercises where we learn to regulate states of arousal, of fear, of anger -- so that we don't have to constantly rely on the other person. But at the same time a healthy relationship also involves co-regulation. Particularly, hopefully, when we're able to say and this may this is, a kind of a higher state, "Dear. I'm really feeling so unsettled and anxious. Could you please just hold me for a little bit?" And, then if the other, if the other partner is in a relatively grounded, calm place themselves then they most likely will want to offer that.  Peter Levine  So again it's a combination of co-regulation, transmuting into or developing into the capacity to self regulate. And then as adolescents and adults to be able to switch between self-regulation and co regulation. So again we are in a sense transforming these procedural memories where we did not have positive experience of being co regulated or we didn't develop the capacity to self regulate, to self regulate.  Neil Sattin  So, how would I know if I'm having an experience where, where it would make sense for me to check in with my partner let's say and ask for some co regulation? What kinds of experiences would I be having within me that might be an indication of like, "Oh wait. That's..." So when when someone hears this, they'll be like, "Oh that's the thing that Peter Levine was talking about. And look I'm experiencing that right now. Maybe I should go ask my my partner if they'll hold me for a minute and see what happens." Peter Levine  Right. Well guess what. It's absolutely not... It's not going to happen at once, at once. It's a skill that one has to really, really build. But the basic idea is that when we become upset, become emotional, become angry, become fearful, become sad, that's out of proportion to what's happening here in the present, then that's a almost certain guarantee. It's a certain guarantee that we're dealing with some kind of imprinted procedural memory a negative, in a word, memory. And so while we're in the midst of it it's going to be harder to ask for help. But if we know how to co-reg, uh, how to self regulate ourselves, even a little bit then we can realize, "OK, I'm upset but I'm upset so much more than you know then my partner saying “you know I'm not going to be able to get together tomorrow because I have to work, for dinner. I have to work later at work." OK. So really upset. But if that child had been abandoned as an, as as a baby, then all of a sudden that abandonment comes in, and for an infant being abandoned would cause death. If if the baby is abandoned for enough time.  Neil Sattin  Right.  Peter Levine  And so we will experience this, this perceived rejection as a life threat. OK, so again if we know enough about our implicit memories we can then be able to kind of soothe ourselves, and I give exercises for that, to soothe ourselves and then to be able to enter back into the relationship. But it's a skill that really needs to be developed and good therapy, both couples and individual therapy, can really help to facilitate this kind of cooperation, between, between our relationships, our primary relationships as adults.  Neil Sattin  Yeah, no, I've mentioned it on the on the show before and I think when when you were on... Maybe the first time you were on, we, we went over the "Voo" exercise and that's something that Chloe and I we do together all the time when we notice one or the other being in a dysregulated state to help us come back into balance with each other. It's super helpful.  Peter Levine  Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean there are a number of exercises like the Voo exercise, like the self holding exercise, where it is bringing one's awareness to the parts of our body which are not feeling horrifically. And so that could be our, our hands or our feet even. So again there's a number of different exercises that we can learn from and learn how to self regulate enough. You know there's a Motown song that goes something like: "It takes one to stand in the dark alone. It takes two to let the light shine through." So I think again it's this combination of being responsible for our own implicit memories, our own emotional and procedural memories. But also to be, to be cognizant about them enough so that we can enter into co-regulation and that co-regulation really enhances the attachment, the adult attachment and secures that relationship, solidifies that relationship, build it into a positive experience. So you know, again a lot of times all these things that happened to us can have these different effects that really will disrupt the relationship. Let me give you one example. I was working with this woman, young woman, who was abused by a sports coach when she was 13 years old, and because she is a teenager, she thought that he was in love with her. She certainly was in love, whatever that means, with him. And then she was rejected by him. Anyhow, those were really, eh, procedural memories and so when her husband would try to touch her. She would go into anger or revulsion and just want to push him away. So. And of course he was deeply deeply upset cuz he had no idea what to do. So I had worked with her to do a few sessions and then suggested that they would come in together. And they were sitting as far away as possible from each other and they talked about their resentments. That he never gives me eye contact, she never gives me eye contact. So they were talking about wanting to make contact but they couldn't do it. So after this went on for 30 minutes where they were basically blaming each other I asked if they would be willing to try an experiment. And I said, "This is, there's a risk at this. I mean hopefully this will help but it might not. Are you willing to take that risk?" And they both said yes. So then, he, I had him where he was sitting and then I had her going to explain this both to them sit with her back towards him and kind of having his knee a little bit like touching her shoulder. So she could feel this contact but it didn't demand eye contact and it was touching in a relatively, in a relatively safe way. And so at first I could see they you know they felt very awkward and I encouraged them just to keep noticing their body sensations and maybe just report them out loud and they did that for a while and then for the first time she could say that she felt some safety with her husband. But otherwise it was all threat and confusion the confusion of this 13 year old adolescent. So, again all of these things will affect our attachments profoundly. But the good news is there are things that we can do about that. So, again I hope I'm not pitching too much, but I, I really do recommend that people, even if they're not therapists, read "Trauma and Memory," because it really helps to explain the nature of all of these memories that we have a better idea of the map of where we are, and also the understanding of when we're hyper activated or when we're shut down, which I cover deeply in, "An Unspoken Voice." So. And then of course the one that you mentioned. So all of these really talk about a map to know where we are. What is it, if we're, if we're angry with a person, there's energy in that we can more easily work with that. But what happens if when with the person our whole organism shuts down and goes into a protective shell, where we can't easily be reached then we have to help the person come out of that shutdown into a more activated state, and then learn to regulate... co-regulate that state and then to learn to self regulate that state. I know that's a mouthful. I'm putting in it at the end but...  Neil Sattin  Yeah way to drop the bomb, Peter! You know I'm curious when maybe you could offer something then. So because I think it's so common for a partner when they feel their beloved shutting down in some sense to not really know what to do in that moment to not know how to how to speak to them or how to respond in a way. So, what would the invitation be there?  Peter Levine  So sometimes you know instead of like being like confronting each other, uh, indoors, to, or at least I mean even indoors but hopefully outdoors if the weather is clement, is to just walk together, side by side and talk instead of trying to face each other, which is bringing up a lot of those difficult emotions. And when you're walking you're less likely to shut down. So, that's the first thing I would recommend. Don't, if you, if if things are stuck just walk together side by side because there's something just in that gesture side by side which is supportive which is caring. And caring that the person can actually experience.  Peter Levine  Then I'll suggest doing some of the exercises like the "Voo exercise", you know the long easy sustain "voo" directing it from the belly. And that's one way of helping people both come out of shutdown or if they're in a hyper state, to calm the hyper state. So, I would suggest that they do the exercise and maybe especially do them together so that they feel more settled and in this more settled place they're able to engage each other, much more in the here and now, rather than in there and then. So, again that's why I use the term brain and body in the search for the living past, how the past lives within us and what we can do about it - how we can change the past so that we can be in the present.  Peter Levine  And when two people are in the present with each other who care about each other that solidifies the bond and takes that out of the realm of things like adaptations, like codependency.  Neil Sattin  Right and gets them into that space where, they can, they can re-experience those memories but metabolize them into something positive, where they're feeling like, "Oh I'm experiencing that, but my partner is here to support me like now I know what it's like to actually feel supported in this...  Peter Levine  Exactly. Exactly. And again when we're able to cultivate in the relationship to the degree that we're able to do that, we're solidifying the relationship. Because difficult times will happen. I mean there is no -- I don't know of any relationships where, where crises have never occurred. Some kind -- it can be a small crisis but it can also be a really big crisis. So the question, is are we fortified enough have we built the foundation of our relationship somatically, so that when these things do occur we're able to weather them and co regulate each other. And I'm thinking sometimes of something that's really devastating. Like when a child dies or gets seriously ill, that's the time really that the parents need to co-regulate each other.  Neil Sattin  Mm hmm.  Peter Levine  But that's also the time where there's a tendency to distance. Or to blame. Rather than to connect.  Neil Sattin  Right. Right. Those are the moments where you need each other more than ever really.  Peter Levine  More than ever. But again if we've solidified that, up to that point then the chances of us getting through that are greatly enhanced.  Neil Sattin  Yeah. It makes perfect sense. Makes perfect sense. And, and I could see you know, for instance even just with something as simple as taking a walk and doing the "Voo” together. That doing that in times that aren't dysregulated. That it's setting the stage for that just becoming something that you can rely on in a challenging moment.  Peter Levine  Yeah yeah. You know many people, many couples, many individuals are reported when they did that with their partner, did the walking, the "Voo"ing that kind of thing -- they were really angry and fearful and blaming and they just walked for a while did the "VU" and then both of them started spontaneously laughing and laughing and laughing and crying and laughing. And then just kind of both seeing the ridiculousness of those, of that reaction but also their appreciation for the other.  Neil Sattin  So yeah I can relate. And it's so important too, I think because when you're stuck in an old memory, that translates often into thoughts, the kinds of thoughts like that, "You're not safe with this person or that they're out to get you." And, and but the feelings actually precede the thoughts. So if you're able to tackle your somatic experience that feeling in your body, then the thought shifts.  Peter Levine  Yeah. Right. The emotions precede the thoughts and the procedural memories come... uh, procedural memories are what's also evoking their emotional memories.  Neil Sattin  Yeah.  Peter Levine  So again and in somatic experiencing, we do a lot of work from the bottom up from sensations then to affects, then to new meanings. And so that couple had the new meaning like, "Oh my gosh. I don't have to feel so alone when I'm feeling angry or fearful I just need to ask for some kind of connection such as what we were just mentioning. Yeah. So again these are tools I hope that couples all know and practice a bit so that when they really, when it's really called upon that it'll be there. And again, my experience is that can really determine in a crisis time whether people, whether couples stay together, work together, stay together cooperate together, or where they split.  Neil Sattin  Right. Yeah. Well, Peter thank you again for all your time and wisdom and you know, the years and years of dedication to unearthing ways to heal from traumas that happened to us before we even were aware of them. And your work is so important, I think to finding ourselves again and again in the present, especially when we're in partnership and you know evoking each other's deep emotional experience all over the place and hopefully, hopefully healing together as well.  Peter Levine  Yes, yep, that's the idea.  Neil Sattin  Before I go there's some work that's a little tangential to this conversation but I just wanted to give you an opportunity to mention it because it's so important that has to do with the ways that the effects of stored trauma, unprocessed trauma, in our bodies results in chronic illness and I know, I know you've been hard at work on ways to help people through that.  Peter Levine  Yes.  Neil Sattin  Would you mind taking a moment to just talk about what that is and...?  Peter Levine  Oh yeah yeah yeah. No, gladly because that's something that really really excites me really turns me on. It over the years some 40 plus years. Um, I've probably worked with thousands of people who have had what would now be called conditions like fibromyalgia, irritable bowel, chronic fatigue, severe PMS, migraines, urinary problems and so forth. And working with them, with SE, has been quite effective. And these are conditions that don't have a medical diagnosis. There are now calls sometimes in medicine MUS, medically unexplained symptoms. MUS. And there's no help for many of them, some people do have something organically wrong of course and that has to be eliminated. But many of these people are just thrown from doctor to doctor, specialist to specialist, with you know, with no help. And you know even after the diagnosis of fibromyalgia, I think in 1980 to 94, 84... Still very very few physicians understood that but certainly almost nobody understood that it was not something that was just in a person's head. But these are functional disorders involving our stress responses basically. So you know thinking about that. There are probably at least 10 or 20 million people suffering in the US alone with those kind of symptoms and there's no amount of therapists. I mean that could really help all of these people and many people can't really afford therapists and so forth and they really need something that they can use even if they are doing therapy to be an adjunct of supportive therapy. So along with, uh, a project manager, an entrepreneur and an M.I.T. specialist in computer human interaction affective communication. And then three other programmers, we've been working in the last two and a half years on this program, be a program or an app, that people can use at home to help them heal those kinds of sick, uh, symptoms. And we'll be finally testing the first version of that in the next couple of months. So I'm both also I'm excited but I'm also a little bit, like, anxious... A little trepidation you know like putting in all this work. And I bet and I know it's going to help. I mean we did a proof of concept at the very beginning. And, it had very powerful effect but anyhow that's that's really where my a lot of my energy is right now. It's in, in, in continuing to develop that as we start getting feedback from the first... or, actually the second test group. So if you want to be glad to let you know when we're up and about.  Neil Sattin  Definitely and we can we can send a blast out to everyone on our email list about that. And, and your assistant Melissa who is such a blessing, she also wanted me to mention that if if you send an email to Ergos-Levine-at-gmail-dot-com and that's spelled E R G O S L E V I N E at gmail-dot-com then then they can let you know and there's maybe even a chance that that those people can get involved in the testing of that app as well it sounds like.  Peter Levine  Yeah.  Neil Sattin  So. And of course you're always out teaching and people can participate in your public courses. There are some on the East Coast in the fall. There's a course in London in June. And if they visit is it, Somatic-Experiencing-dot-com? Then they can sort of see everything that you’r e doing.  Peter Levine  I believe so. I believe so. Yeah some of the stuff I'm doing yeah. Neil Sattin  Well Peter. Peter it's always a pleasure to chat with you. And I've so enjoyed your generosity of time and wisdom over the years. And thanks so much again for dropping in with us here on Relationship Alive.  Peter Levine  OK. Take good care.  Neil Sattin  You too Peter. Take care.  Neil Sattin  And as just a reminder if you want a transcript of this conversation and also the relevant links and things you can visit Neil-Sattin-dot-com slash-Levine-2. That's L E V I N E, and the number two or you can text the word passion to the number 3 3 4 4 4 and follow the instructions where you'll be able to download the complete transcript of our conversation. All right thanks again.   

Crisco, Dez and Ryan: After Hours: 270- Crisco is crazy excited to meet a cast member of Stranger Things! Millie Bobby Brown? Winona Ryder? Who is it???? (whispers name) Oh. Ok... never mind.

This is the second episode of the Mind Your Noodles podcast. In this episode our guest is investment banker, keynote speaker and author of Pitch Anything, Oren Klaff. We discuss how to use neuroscience when interacting with others, the importance of narrative and emotion in communications and ways to build trust. Show Notes [00:00:05] Mind Your Noodles Podcast [00:00:20] Episode Two - Oren Klaff [00:01:01] Transparency - I'm a Student of Oren's Work [00:01:53] Pitchanything.com [00:02:42] New Book Coming - Flip the Script [00:06:10] Time Passes Differently for Speaker and Audience [00:07:56] How Do You Get Information Out of Your Brain and Over to Someone Else? [00:08:25] Oren Breaks Down the Brain [00:09:03] The Crocodile Brain [00:10:54] Mid-Brain  Function - Social [00:11:32] The Neo-Cortex Role [00:13:00] Does this Thinking Apply to the Masses? [00:15:00] Adjustments When Addressing the Audience [00:15:20] Emotional Needs of the Audience [00:16:39] Collateral Damage and Narrative [00:17:35] Narrative Arc [00:18:50] The Pre-wired Brain [00:20:08] Programmed Narratives [00:21:15] Conflict and Trust [00:22:12] Trust as Too High a Bar at the Beginning - and What to Do to Get There [00:26:32] Conflict Raises the Stake [00:28:53] Conflict = Stakes [00:29:55] The Big Idea and it's Role [00:31:45] Role of the Big Idea [00:36:19] Big Idea Applies to All - Even the Furniture Business [00:40:00] You are Valuable - Use It or Make It [00:43:51] How Might We Engage Employees [00:47:13] Closing Thoughts     Transcript Tripp: [00:00:05] Welcome to the Mind Your Noodles podcasts take care of the brains that take care of you using neuroscience research and methods for a brain friendly organization and healthy you.   Tripp: [00:00:20] In the second episode of Mind Your Noodles My guest is Oren Klaff. Investment banker, keynote speaker and author of Pitch Anything. We discuss how to use neuroscience when interacting with others, the importance of narrative and emotion in communication and ways to get trust quickly.   Tripp: [00:00:46] Hi I'm Tripp Babbitt host of The Mind Your Noodles podcast.   Tripp: [00:00:51] My guest today is investment banker speaker and author Oren Klaff. Welcome Oren.   Oren Klaff: [00:00:57] Hey thanks. TRIPP I appreciate it. Good to connect with you. Glad we could get on the same schedule.   Tripp: [00:01:01] Very good. Full disclosure to my audience I am a huge fan of what Oren does and I'm also a student of his Pitch Mastery online class that that he has and workshops and call ins and also Oren you probably won't meet with us but you are the inspiration actually for this podcast. So no pressure.   Oren Klaff: [00:01:25] Great. And I can't wait to get the checks.   Tripp: [00:01:28] There you go. And one of the things I do a little bit differently especially for folks like you is instead of talking about all your stuff that you do at the end. Kind of like to just where people can go so they can get back right to the beginning of the podcast episode and just know kind of a little bit about. So I knew they'd go to like pitchanything.com I would assume if they're going to learn about you.   Oren Klaff: [00:01:53] If you want to get started here you go to pitchanything.com. Putting your name and we will flood you with really information on that will transform the way you get in front of people the way you talk to people in the way that you close deals. That's what you care about. That's the right place to be pitchanything.com   Tripp: [00:02:11] Okay. And do you want to say a couple words because I know you're kind of doing preorders for your new book Flip the Script. I'm sure we'll talk about as we get into it. But.   Oren Klaff: [00:02:22] So I wrote a book. Second Book because they said you have to write a book. Another one. Your first book is like everyone on Earth bought it. There's no one else to sell it to. I didn't read the book so I wrote another book. I said Yeah I'll do it in a year. and then two years later I finished it because apparently I put everything I knew in the first row.   Oren Klaff: [00:02:42] But the book the new book is Flip the Script. It is. I love it like I'm reading it myself. Oh my God this is so good. I should write this down. Wait a second. I just wrote this. It's like this infinite loop of the Flip the Script is full of scripts of how to make somebody chase you instead of you chasing them out to put your ideas. In the mind of somebody else so they think it's their idea. It is it. It's completely next level. There's nothing like it in sales. It's just revised what sales is about. So Flip the Script is the new book. It's out of control. Now that I've said that you can't get it.   Tripp: [00:03:21] Well you can preorder it though.   Oren Klaff: [00:03:25] You can preorder it. That's OK. Because.   Tripp: [00:03:27] I see it here on Amazon right now.   Oren Klaff: [00:03:30] I'm looking at it and I'm going to get two hundred galleys. So you know if you're in the media a galley is you know the copy that the editors send you that isn't really a copy. It's sort of the secret copy print on cardboard and toilet paper. But if you want that copy I have 200 of them.   Tripp: [00:03:48] Oh OK. OK. All right. So. So where would they contact you to get that.   Oren Klaff: [00:03:52] E-mail you if you want that copy. Go to Tripp's house.   Tripp: [00:03:55] OK.   Oren Klaff: [00:03:56] Talk to his dog.   Tripp: [00:03:59] My dog will kill them. They don't want to do that. All right.   Tripp: [00:04:02] So where I'd like to start Oren is because you were the inspiration for my my podcast that I'm putting together here. I do a couple of other podcasts I'd do one for the Deming Institute. We have about 45-50000 listeners every every month.   Tripp: [00:04:18] And also do one with a gentleman by the name of Doug Hall does innovation types of things. But the the thing that struck me you know I love sales from way back. So you know did the Carnegie stuff I did the Ziglar and I did Tracey and I did the Sandler sales Institute and then on a fluke I I ran into a copy of Pitch Anything actually from another book that was actually meh not very good. But but but in their bibliography your book was mentioned in there and as I started to read it. The thing that that really stood out. I know this is part of your your pitch process and I would certainly want to talk about that is this whole concept of people whether it's neuroscience or brain science or ever you want to say it it's this concept of people are not communicating between a sales situation or a pitch situation because they're on really two different planes in the brain level.   Tripp: [00:05:24] And so I kind of like to start there and I know I've listened to some of your interviews that you've done over the past year on the Life of Charm I think it was one of them and and some other ones that you've done with like the Project Management Institute.   Tripp: [00:05:42] Yeah. And so there's going to be some some it's going to be boring for you. But for the audience I think level setting kind of that component and especially because it really fits in well with the purpose of this podcast kind of walk us through how you. First of all arrive there and then kind of the basics associated with the crocodile brain and the mid brain and all that.   Oren Klaff: [00:06:10] Yeah. So I think you know one way you can get there they've never talked about but we'll do some fresh stuff here. If you think about how differently time passes in different situations so if you're a speaker presenter write to an audience and nearly everybody listening here you know whether it was in grade school, high school, college or in a professional you know sits up and had to present something longer than five minutes when you pass five minutes time begins to pass differently for the speaker and the audience.   Oren Klaff: [00:06:45] You the speaker. Are talking you're all the sound that you get warmed up. Think about five six seven minutes to get warmed up. You got the sound of my voice is pretty good right.   Oren Klaff: [00:06:55] And now you're sort of getting going in your juices are flowing and you feel warmed up and now you're ready to say the things you have to say in explaining the features and the benefits and the ideas that you have and the business of it. And. At eight nine 10 12 minutes your just getting going and the audience is just about cooked right. And so now as you get into when this happens to me you know I a half an hour into a speech. I feel like wow I could do this for three or four hours and the audience is thinking I want you to do this for another minute maybe. OK. So so things happen differently. Experiences that are in the same room happen very differently to different people especially when you're you're teaching or giving information or selling. So. So there's different parts of the mind that are engaged when you're the seller and you're the buyer. And then we follow that through and we sort of think of it like this that where. Do you. What part of the brain do you disgorge information from.   Oren Klaff: [00:07:56] How do you get information out of your brain over to someone else. And what part of the brain do they receive then when you start to look at that from a neuro standpoint you and you ask. Cognitive psychologists. You know what's happening in the brain by the way if you never hire cognitive psychologists to help you out with your relationship. Right. You don't give a fuck about relationships.   Oren Klaff: [00:08:18] They care about your feelings they care about how information moves in and out of the brain and up and down and how you react to things and why.   Oren Klaff: [00:08:25] But if you think about where you receive information into the human mind well it's received as you alluded to do something. Call we call the crocodile brain. And it's the most ancient part of the brain the least sophisticated the most unable to handle nuance, detail, emotion. Right. It really just trims things down to the absolute basics.   Oren Klaff: [00:08:50] Right now the part of the brain that I'm using that you're reading now listen to the part of bringing you you used to get to work and get a buy a laptop and get a job and think that of course is the neocortex smart thinking linguistic capable math problem solving.   Oren Klaff: [00:09:03] Also relatively emotionless but but that part of the brain thinks about complex ideas and talks about them uses the language communicates them and it's sending all this information over to the other person who's just receiving that information through their crocodile brain. We call that because it acts like a crocodile. Huh. What is this. Something is moving. Noise is coming from it. I gotta deal with it because anything that's moving that creates noise in an animatronic way right. That isn't a rock a tree or an insect. Anything is moving and making noise I gotta pay attention to and decide how to process it. And so the other person is. You're coming up with all your great ideas and that person thinking you know as I wrote is it's just something I should eat. There's something I should mate with. Is this a danger. Should I kill it. There's sort of some of the base angry hungry and horny. Right. That's so nature. That part of the brain is trying to process the thing you're saying. So unless you give that part of the brain the information it needs at the beginning to get it calm down and end to allow it to move information up higher into the brain. You never get past. Really the initial. Interest you don't get the attention because you go hey this is not something I should eat. There's not something I should mate with. This isn't something I should kill am I. I'll just ignore it and worry about other problems. So. So that part of the brain is very concerned about survival and self interest and if you don't placate it give it the information it need. Truncate you know your story so it calms down and is willing to pass information up to the higher order of the brain. You can't get anywhere. And that's why you go there eyes roll back in the head. We never got their attention you know and all these things. So. So you got.   Oren Klaff: [00:10:54] So that's a first part of the brain its gotta deal with then it moves up to the mid brain and the mid brain doesn't care about ROI IOR and you know these things that you know you've heard me talk about before you know with the benefits of the SAS software or how the insurance is going to know save you money or this car's better than that I didn't care about and sort of cares about social situations.   Oren Klaff: [00:11:15] So until it's safe. And it sounds and there's some things to be intrigued by by the crocodile brain. And then there is a sense of social order that you're a high status individual that can provide some valuable information.   Oren Klaff: [00:11:32] The neocortex won't engage so I really just start talking to neocortex with the details data story and the neocortex is not easy to access. So that's how I think about human-human communication. You got to give him the right information for the part of the brain that is actually paying attention. At that point in time you got it. If I could just simplify this by a million times when you go to merge on the freeway right.   Oren Klaff: [00:12:00] They give you an on ramp so you can build up speed to get up to you know by the time you get a freeway you're doing seventy five miles an hour. If you've ever been in a situation where somebody build a shitty road system somewhere in New Jersey or Pennsylvania.   Tripp: [00:12:13] The jug handles. Yeah.   Oren Klaff: [00:12:16] Yeah yeah what you sort of take aRight there's this right turn onto a five lane road where people are going 80 miles an hour and you go Damn how do I get up to that speed from a dead stop. Right. That's what most people are facing. How do we take a right turn onto this freeway and get up to speed without getting murdered. And most people's presentations get murdered on by by trying to do that incorrectly. You need to have an on ramp.   Tripp: [00:12:45] Okay. And so one of the things as far as this particular podcast you know my whole aim is applying neuroscience to organizations kind of how do I build a better system.   Tripp: [00:13:00] In that particular company now ours obviously you know a sales component to it. There's a pitch component to it when you're reaching out to even the masses. These things hold true right.   Oren Klaff: [00:13:13] When you're sending this devout to the masses it's even more true and I'll give you an example if you've ever gone to see a can a comedian right in a club.   Tripp: [00:13:22] Yes.   Oren Klaff: [00:13:24] They don't actually have to be that funny right cause you face to face people are having a couple of drinks you want them to do well you don't want them to fail you know the joke. If you're watching that same comedian on TV they have to be you know three 4 times funnier the jokes have to be amazing the content has to be you know that's why that's why people you know when they do these HBO comedy specials you know they can practice for a year to do that because when you're watching it on TV in an in-person way that the jokes have to be incredibly on point and funny versus being there in a club that you know just everyone's having a good time and and almost anything is funny. The comedians on stage you know these high status with your friends you want to have a good time. So it's the same thing right. When you go into the masses you're not there.   Oren Klaff: [00:14:14] To affect them in a emotional way. One to one or one to a few. And so the structure of the information has to be incredibly well organized and precise and feed these parts and respect neuroscience and feed these parts of the brain in the way that the brain is willing to accept information right. We're not talking about feelings or emotions or or wants and desires.   Oren Klaff: [00:14:40] We're talking about how the brain is actually willing to accept information from you. Another human in what order they need the information and what amount of detail at what speed and what level of emotional color and depth those things have to be pre-programmed. If you want to meet the masses.   Tripp: [00:15:00] Okay. And I know you do a lot of public speaking and keynotes and things of that sort. Is there are there adjustments that you're making as you're doing a keynote versus doing a a pitch for capital. Or is it still pretty much the same blueprint. How do you approach that.   Oren Klaff: [00:15:20] Yeah my sense of it is that. It. If you're making midstream adjustments something is going wrong right. Because what you're doing is you're tuning yourself to the emotional needs of the audience at that moment. OK then they're not.   Oren Klaff: [00:15:43] Now you're on this slippery slope or going down to the circling the drain because their emotional needs will change. You know in a few minutes from now. Now you need to feed those emotional needs to keep them happy. The emotional needs of the audience aren't the same as their information needs so in my experience it is incredibly important not to have every word written but you've got to have the structure of a your narrative laid out. I mean think about a movie right halfway through the movie. They know all the actors tired well let's give them some easier lines and you know fuck it let's just having fall in love now instead of 20 minutes from now because the actors are tired right. So. So in no way do and those scripts go through infinite rewrites until the story is right and then you deliver the story. And yes do the actors have some variant variants you know during the turn the screenplay.   Oren Klaff: [00:16:39] I give a perfect example. Good friend of mine wrote a movie called Collateral Damage starring starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and this guy is a brilliant writer. You know he was a partner at Goldman Sachs and a very good friend of mine an excellent writer. You just just Mensa genius level guy.   Oren Klaff: [00:16:55] Love him David and I said you know the collateral damage not the greatest movie the plot. No no no no. The script is amazing. Right. Best script ever. The problem is Arnold Schwarzenegger goes I would not say my lines in this way. You know when he changes the lines change the lines and changing the narrative really affects the grand scheme so whenever we see somebody changing on the fly there tend to be feeding reacting to the emotional needs of the audience in that moment. And that usually leads to circling the drain.   Tripp: [00:17:35] Okay. And so you know it's interesting it's some of the people that I have lined up to talk to are on what you call the the narrative arc I believe is the words that you use. I just interviewed a gentleman by the name of Dr. Paul Zak and I know if no Paul at all but he does the dramatic arc and he wrote a book a book called The Trust Factor and where you do neuro finance. Zach does neuro economics which is basically measuring brain activity while people make decisions and one of the things that they found apparently is this in this whole narrative component that you guys talk about is that only are two areas of the brain are activated when you're talking about facts and figures and details and things of that sort and seven parts of the brain are activated when you're doing a narrative of some sort. And so how are you using that in your pitch in your whether it's a pitch to you know again for capital or whether you're pitching to a group of of you know employees in a company about the direction that the organization is going to go.   Oren Klaff: [00:18:50] Yeah. So I wrote about this a lot in my new book and I think you know I certainly had that same layer of thinking but I simplified it in this. That there are these pre wired pathways through the brain that are just acceptable narratives that people you know. Then there's you know seven or eight of them that that you know when they're getting that narrative all the parts of the brain are paying attention and somebody is riveted. Right. So man against man right you wants to snap somebodies attention you go. John and Mark are outside fighting over Susan. Boom. Everybody in the office drops what they're doing. Run to the fire exit to watch this parking lot incident you want to get so much attention you say two people are fighting. That is a pre wired part of the brain that has to pay attention to conflict. Right. And so we pay. We have to pay attention to movement right. Every single book on script writing or story writing or ply writing should drop people into rapidly unfolding action. Do not start. It was a dark and stormy night.   Oren Klaff: [00:20:08] Ok. You have a job even or under so. So man against nature man against himself man against man. Right. Ah ah are these ancient narratives that are pre-programmed the mind that you know people accept and follow and will pay attention to. So. So my my sense is in order to fully engage the brain it is not to find what engages the neocortex what engages the amygdala what engages the you know the mid brain what gauges the left temporal lobe. Trying in some complicated format. Get all of those fired up. Instead I say what. Pathways. Are available in the mind of this buyer that I can just feed into. What are they looking for. In what order and in what amount of detail. And then I just follow those pathways instead of trying to do something new and creative.   Tripp: [00:21:15] And I've heard you talk about this on numerous occasions as well as in your book. As far as conflict and things moving away and things moving. Are you manufacturing conflict. And if so. I know you also kind of go into this trust factor where you can't get to trust especially when you're doing a pitch real real quickly. Obviously if you're dealing with some employees that are out there a large group of employees you might have more time because they're employees but but as far as the conflict and getting to the autonomy associated with that can you can you kind of help me with the and help the audience too with the how you deal with bringing up conflict. How how are you gonna get that. You know Sally and Joe are out fighting in the parking lot type of type of situation.   Oren Klaff: [00:22:12] So. So a couple of things I think I'm less concerned about trust right. Because trust takes time to build and trust comes at the trust is not something you build upfront. It comes towards the end. Once you've done everything else correctly. Right. So I think it's a really high bar to try and build trust right. I think what is easier to accomplish is to build expertise and to build status and to provide information in the way that somebody can is interested. Continues to be intrigued and provides insight to move them past the information age when you can help somebody understand their business better than they currently know it. You've provided them insight when you establish your self as an expert.   Oren Klaff: [00:23:11] Then you've provided them the confidence to spend time with you. And believe in you when you've provided them that the enough sense that you're not going to beg for their business you're not going to chase them. Right. That you have got the status as a peer. Then all those things lead to trust. Right. So again I just want to put trust in its proper place and it is very hard to say as a marker hey we're going to try and develop trust. Trust comes automatically if you do everything else.   Tripp: [00:23:45] Okay. So. So. So what you're saying is there's kind of an on ramp to trust if you will. There are certain things that you need to have in place in order to build that. And certainly cycles of time that you talked about one of your friends in an interview recently you know that the trust has been developed over a longer period of time when you're trying to say if you're a new CEO walking into an organization you aren't going to have trust at the very beginning. But doing these other things you know the fact he has status he's been named the CEO of the company. You should be an expert in something you know before he even became CEO. But developing that intrigue and insight then would kind of be the the on ramp to getting to that trust component. Do I have that right?   Oren Klaff: [00:24:37] Yeah. So I think all those things are a proxy for trust or a replacement for trust. So what happened is somebody come to you and says hey listen trust me right. This is the best solution. This is the best water heater for your house that there is right there. That is sort of pressing to "do not trust me" Button. Right. When you ask for trust or go after it initially it has the exact opposite effect.   Oren Klaff: [00:25:04] Right. So what can we replace trust with that has the same impact expertise status insight. Social proof. The the just quality of presentation. Right. What I try and you may have heard me say Well but what would I try and develop very early on instead of trust with somebody you go Oh crap. This is awesome I'm in the hands of an expert. This guy knows how to pitch I can relax. This is not stressful. I don't got to be on alert that you know this information is true I don't have to you know think about every statement this guy seems to know what he's doing. I'm going to relax. Listen to this pitch 15 20 minutes whatever it is I'm in the hands of a professional. For me I try to achieve that feeling in a buyer rather than hey you should trust me.   Tripp: [00:25:59] OK.   Oren Klaff: [00:26:00] And we can circle back around the conflict right. The job of conflict is really to manage attention. Right. People pay attention to human conflict. So. So there's no movies about rocks interacting with each other. Right. Nobody. But there's lots of movies with rocks in them. But they have to you know whatever the word is anthropomorphize them. Right. If I maybe put too few or too many syllables in the word.   Oren Klaff: [00:26:32] But you know they have to make inanimate objects animate in order to get kids or anybody to pay attention to it. OK. SpongeBob Square Pants or whatever. Right. So so everything has got to be put in human terms and we're only interested in humans. Interacting with each other in a way to solve a problem and that generally means conflict. Right. And so if you want to raise attention raise awareness raise the stakes. It always has got to lead with conflict. And then you can move on to. And so how would you do that right. I mean if you get on a conference call with me about a deal you know and be the CEO of 3M of Xerox of you know I don't care what it is you know I'll get on the call. And typically you know this always happened if the CEO of a large company they'll come three or four minutes late and I go Hey John you here for the 3 0 3 meeting you know writes Funny and boring we laughed at it I just doing it for so long and I'm sorry. So I got the CEO of a Fortune 500 company apologizing to me because I'm in conflict with him but in a fun. So. So it's not that you can't challenge him or accuse him or you're all that there's lots of wrong ways to do conflict right.   Oren Klaff: [00:27:48] But if it's if it's social and socially aware and fun but it makes the point you know makes the point you know sometimes they'll bring six or seven people to the call and we'll have two you know which is always a bad sign socially anyway and we'll say OK you know here we are and you know tribal council. Right and there's trouble of us here and only nine of us will advance the next phase or a boost in the three people to kick off this island call here in the next few minutes. And you know that's it's fun. But you know it's also true is like hey you brought too many people to the call and you know you're making them aware of it. So you've got to find your own forms of this. But if you want people to pay attention there's got to be some sense of conflict if you you know if you're uncomfortable with that it's just like when I go to speak in Texas. Yes conflicts. Right. Like you mean bring a gun great Crudup Hey man I'll bring it in. Go to that meeting right. And so. So that's what they think of.   Oren Klaff: [00:28:53] You know conflict in Texas when I go to Silicon Valley they're really uncomfortable with in Palo Alto. You know invariably some women will stand up and say you know this is and this feels very male centric. No you're just you're hearing my voice. Right. But but you know women can and should do this as well. And so I wouldn't feel comfortable but so. So a word you can replace conflict with IS stakes. Mm hmm. Is the stakes. That's good. It's an other way to do and say hey glad we could get together today. On this call notes introductory call. All right but there's something going to be decided and as much as you're evaluating us. I'm evaluating you.   Tripp: [00:29:41] And we're going to figure out A if our product and services are right for you. But we're also going to figure out on this call if I'd the interest in working for you and if you're right for us because we only work with the best.   Tripp: [00:29:55] Right now you're talking. You're lucky you've hit on several things associate with this one is your talking. And we haven't talked about it as the frame that you're coming in to a situation with or it's coming to you and then you kind of hit each of the pieces but just kind of bring it together and then I'd like to go back to frame is the narrative arc that you talk about. So you said the the thing that you talk about all the time is the big idea. You know a problem that something that's difficult to solve and then what our solution is. And so you've touch upon some components of the big idea. Can you kind of rather than me just kind of hitting around what the big idea is can you tell me how that fits into the broader narrative.   Oren Klaff: [00:30:44] When you start working with someone talking to someone get on a Skype meeting phone call you know sending out an email there minding their own business.   Oren Klaff: [00:30:54] Oh my god is my wife going to see this email from this woman I met at the conference. It's not really like that but if she's attractive and all the kids are graduating from grade school and you know we can send her private high school and you know I really want the promotion. I love the team I'm working with. And should we go on vacation here locally and grandma is sick but the kids got here before she dies. My diet is not going well. I can't believe I didn't get to the gym the last two days. I promised my trainer and is on and on and on. Right. And then you're like hey our SAS software can deliver three times more throughput you know on your Amazon S three server side compared to your current on prem systems and we do it at a you know per whatever. And those thoughts dreams are just incompatible.   Oren Klaff: [00:31:45] And so for me the big idea. Is about getting someone's internal dialogue. Whatever happened their last meeting wherever they were. It was going on for them over the last 50 minutes last hour the last day getting that thought string. Tamped down and tempered and getting your ideas stream introduced and sort of switching the amount of attention they're paying to their own thoughts from you know being internally and so focused to being focused on you. And for me there might be other ways to do it. So I know for example like you know the state police use a taser that gets people real focused away from what they were doing under what they want to you to focus on. And so other professions you do things in a different way. But for me I don't can't use Tasers in the conference rooms that I go to. So I used a big idea.   Tripp: [00:32:39] And that's your way of getting them to now.   Oren Klaff: [00:32:42] And yeah. And so the big idea. Right. And most people get this wrong. They hear me talk about the big idea and they think oh the big idea is our software can make you money. That's not a fucking idea. Right.   Oren Klaff: [00:32:53] That is about you. The big idea has nothing to do with you it's about them. And the greater world around all of you. Right. The big idea is all software has now moved to the cloud and is being rented. OK. And so if in fact you want to have a customer for software in today's world. Right. You need to you rent them the software everything's in the cloud. That's an idea right. We have software that's in the cloud that can make you money is a value proposition. There's a solution that come to way down the line. So ideas truly are ideas right. And so you know and typically as you know there to me there are a lot of things that are changing right.   Oren Klaff: [00:33:44] So fundamentally the the you know obviously politics we don't want to get into here because I just say the word politics and a divisive political discussion in the country and you know red versus blue and you know support of a Republican Party and sort of non Republican way. Yeah I was going to light up.   Tripp: [00:34:05] Right.   Oren Klaff: [00:34:06] Right. And pay attention because that is changing and those are those are important issues but you know what else is changing. I mean if you think about Samsung you know if you saw the release of this folding tablet thing right.   Tripp: [00:34:18] Oh yes.   Oren Klaff: [00:34:18] I mean I had you know in my company we might have 700 Apple devices. You know I mean maybe maybe 15 hundred I don't know. You know I've I've owned 60 iPhones and 20. You know i pads and 15 iMacs and you know just myself and I see that device and I'm like Oh man I'm I get a Samsung Android whatever that stuff is right so.   Oren Klaff: [00:34:41] So even you know technology is constantly changing the relationship with North Korea is confusing, the terrorists, with China. I mean everything's changing. You know all the time and so big ideas are around change.   Tripp: [00:34:55] You know it's interesting you know one of the things that that I really struggled with that that you helped me through coming up with with the big idea for for my consulting practice was you know I'm a long time follower of of a man by the name of W. Edwards Deming who you know went over to Japan and helped turn them around and do all that type of thing. But you know.   Oren Klaff: [00:35:18] Sure.   Tripp: [00:35:19] He died in the early 90s. But I mean and and I think the difficulty associated with his teachings it's more of a philosophy as opposed to a method per se. And one of the difficulties I have and I think it's important to kind of bring this out because I think people are gonna have a hard time going oh but I'm not in the investment banking business or not in this. But but what you do extrapolates a method for helping people even if they know you're talking about Samsung and all the new and exciting things associated with that. But I might be in an h vac business. You know what I mean. And and I. How do I you know get a big idea or make shots here or you know right.   Oren Klaff: [00:36:07] Yeah.   Tripp: [00:36:08] And I think it's an important thing right. Yeah.   Oren Klaff: [00:36:10] You have to take you know or even worse you're in the furniture business.   Tripp: [00:36:16] Yes. Yeah I.   Oren Klaff: [00:36:19] So if you're in the furniture business. You're fucked. That's we can't know.   Tripp: [00:36:26] If you're a furniture business skip this. No. Yeah.   Oren Klaff: [00:36:29] Okay listen on the phone for business. You know what I would tie that to without knowing too much about it is logistics right. Something about logistics. There's 18000 too few truck drivers in the United States right. And so what's hot and what's driving that. It's Amazon and these package delivery you order a toothbrush you know some dental floss and some throat lozenges. It comes in a box. You know the size of a small desk right. And so all these empty boxes moving everywhere back and forth to deliver a toothbrush is causing a huge Oh you know over demand on logistics. And so if you're in furniture logistics are are becoming a huge problem and you know a big cost of the you know of your final delivery product. And so that industry is changing a lot and it's tied directly to Amazon which everybody can relate to. So again I might say hey so you know if I'm a furniture company and I'm looking for example for an investor right or a partner I would say hey look today if you think about furniture the business has basically been the same for two hundred years you make the furniture you know you put it in a box you take a picture of it you put in a catalog it's shipped to the store.   Oren Klaff: [00:37:53] People browse the store. They they pick a model and they go to the warehouse and they deliver one to your house. Couple days later is basically how furniture has worked today. It's quite different because because of the difficulty with logistics there's there's 18000 truck drivers that need to be hired that aren't currently available and you cannot get the inventory to where the purchases are happening so the salespeople. Have to tell the buyer the furniture you're not going to get your delivery for three to six weeks. People want to finish that home tomorrow. So the salespeople. Are the key to revenue today in the furniture business. It never was that way that you had to hire you know for 50 60 70 thousand dollars base and get real salespeople used to be able to pay commission because the furniture sold itself. So I don't know. Right. A big idea in of your business. I know nothing about.   Tripp: [00:38:53] Yeah. No. And I think that's good I just want to point out especially to the audience that you know one of the things I found I find fascinating well know it took me six months to build up the courage to to to actually talk to you about my pitch.   Tripp: [00:39:07] But but as I listened to you talk to people in different businesses I mean everything from pharma of pharmaceuticals to health care to you know furniture you know that you have this mindset that that is associated with being able to come up with a big idea in whatever situation it is by kind of looking more broadly at the industry and what's going on or or trends of things that are happening within an industry. And I saw you more than once. Certainly probably 20 times where you pulled somebody out that hadn't thought in that particular you know with that particular mindset it's one of it's one of your redeeming qualities that you have associated with what you do is is there any hints that you might be able to give folks as how did they get that mindset.   Oren Klaff: [00:40:00] So for me then the number one thing to drive the mindset for all this stuff is you know you and you know I talked about it before it is. Internal understanding of our own value. Write that in the relationship. With a potential buyer investor partner whatever it is we don't have the product and the service or the company or the investment that's valuable. It's the relationship with us right. I know things about how to buy this product how to invest in this kind of company that will help you avoid losing your money or making them or making the wrong choice. I can help you if you go somewhere else. You're not going to get me you're gonna get some other very likely less connected less experienced less caring individual. So if your priority is to get a low price. Or some other value for yourself and you're willing to work with somebody who has less experience less value less caring than I do. You should go do that because I'm a unique person. I have experience and I'm only going to share that with people I'm connected with. So that has got to be your an internal set point until you feel that believe that and let somebody actually walk away that you could have sold. Otherwise because of that issue it'll be difficult to adopt the other mindsets that help you sell and clothes. So. So that's your entree point into this world is understanding your own importance to the deal not just the product or the service.   Tripp: [00:42:05] Ok. All right. I have two more questions. The first one is one of the things that when when I when I joined Pitch Mastery you had in there a bunch of articles under what you called Psychology in it. And this is one of the things that set me down the path of doing this podcast is there is something in there it was an acronym. It was called SCARF which is stands for Stand our status certainty autonomy relatedness fairness and it just because I respect your opinion so much. Well it's a good ticket a little bit out of your realm here but I know you have this kind of perspective that I am very curious about and that is when you look at organizations and the way that organizations are run today and you've heard all the numbers about you know to two thirds of people are not engaged in their work. Those types of things. What do you see as what needs to what needs to be happening within organizations in order to get people engaged and how you know from all the things you've learned about neuroscience all the things you learned about pitching you know those types of things. What would be your perspective on that. I know again I'm thinking a little bit out of your your comfort zone here but you are so you know you have a broad thinker.   Oren Klaff: [00:43:28] Yeah yeah. So when you say engage. Yeah just chased that down. Sure. And unpack that a bit.   Tripp: [00:43:36] Yeah. So peep peep. There was a Gallup survey in essence that was done publicly about five years ago. Now we're something like two thirds of all people are not engaged in their work.   Tripp: [00:43:51] They're checked out basically. Yeah. You know they're they're just you know I've got I need a pay check and you know I have obligations I'm there but I'm not innovating. I'm not excited about coming to work every day. Well what would be what's your perspective on all the stuff that you've learned about neuroscience everything you've learned about pitching. How do we move these people way. How do we in essence my business is designing organizations that are basically brain friendly if you will where people look forward to coming to work every day. What needs to change in these corporate cultures from your perspective that they need to be doing in order to do it. I think you've hit upon some of this. Bye bye by just talking about what you know coming up with an a narrative that in essence engages people you know making more money for the guys at the top is not always that exciting. So. Right. So so so what what what what's your view.   Oren Klaff: [00:44:46] I mean my view for an organization is is you know very much the same as yours. It's you know micro goals or Gamify. Right. So it's funny we ran the cabin this last weekend up in Big Bear and they had a Galaga machine right. The videogame Galaga.   Tripp: [00:45:04] Ok.   Oren Klaff: [00:45:06] And. The you know in essence your goal is to get on the leaderboard right so they've got the top 20 people and you only their initials. But that is a huge reward you know to play the game well get the points and get on the leaderboard right. And so for me engagement is about you know my organizations is these goals that are doable that are tangible. And I think a lot of organizations have that. But you know you move up the leaderboard you know for accomplishing something as you know as close to you know as close to the blueprint as possible. So that's my experience in the organizations we run is is you know hard to connect people to our goals which is to grow revenue you know sell the company make 20 million bucks distributed to three guys and buy another plane. You know people don't come into work to help you do that. They come into work to you know write a blog post put it up get the most amount of clicks on it you know log that and move up the leaderboard. So maybe over simplistic but you know I'm not a management you know expert as you are but that's what I feel. It drives our organization forward is these micro goals and the gamification or the moving up the leaderboard. I mean you look if you watch the show.   Oren Klaff: [00:46:31] Darn, the British car show or come to me as soon as we hang up right where they race cars on the track and if the celebrities in the car and then and then the celebrity gets on the leaderboard right to see what their time was and that's very exciting for them. And it's hard to get except you know celebrities excited about much.   Oren Klaff: [00:46:49] And so getting on the leaderboard to me for accomplishing something that is manageable but challenging I think is really drives organizations.   Tripp: [00:46:59] Ok. And then my last question is when I typically ask which is there anything that maybe we talked about that you'd like to provide more clarification on. Or is there any question that you wish I would've asked that that I didn't.   Oren Klaff: [00:47:13] Well yeah I think for me you know the clarification is if you really want to give a great pitch a great presentation captures people's attention have them listen. It's really about raising your status to one as a peer. And then so I think most of understand that. But then I think it's important to go further as being more than appear as an expert. So those to me are the goals raise the standards a peer and they go further. Be seen as an expert. Now somebody will listen to you for an hour.   Tripp: [00:47:50] Mm hmm. Look at that. That's good. So that's kind of you again you're on ramp. The trust that we get that we kind of talked about earlier to.   Oren Klaff: [00:47:59] Yeah absolutely. OK. So. So I think yeah all somebody has to do is do all of these things we've talked about here today and do'em by tomorrow morning and be way way ahead of the game.   Tripp: [00:48:12] Okay. All right. And just just for my audience as I said I. Full disclosure and transparency I am part of Oren's Pitch Mastery of a huge advocate of the program and not only that but as far as the personal time that Oren spends going through pitches and giving suggestions those types of things it's well worth the investment in joining the Pitch Mastery piece and think it's it's you know for what the value you get out of it it's it's of great value.   Oren Klaff: [00:48:48] So thank you Tripp. OK well great connecting with you today. You know again love to meet people over at pitchanything.com we're pretty accessible there and we'll take it from there. I can't wait for this to come out. I want to listen to it again. The I mean these these these topics are. You know as you know part of my experience but also we've research them heavily and even more so we've deployed them in thousands and thousands of business and those businesses come back and said that works. Right. And so that's why I'm talking about them here. because they really work.   Tripp: [00:49:19] Absolutely. All right. Thank you Oren.   Oren Klaff: [00:49:21] Thanks Tripp. I'll talk to you soon.   Tripp: [00:49:27] Thank you for being a listener. of the Mind Your Noodles podcast if you'd like to learn more or sign up for our newsletter or upcoming podcasts go to MindYourNoodles.com    

Download this Episode This week we discuss how to keep a real estate transaction moving forward. Listen in to hear ways to keep a real estate transaction on track to closing. Rethink Real Estate Podcast Transcription Audio length 30:43 RTRE 57 –  Keeping the Real Estate Transaction Under Control [music] [Chris] Welcome to re:Think Real Estate, your educational and hopefully entertaining source for all things real estate, business, news and tech.  [Christian]: I am Christian Harris in Seattle, Washington. [Nathan]: Hi, I am Nathan White in Columbus, Ohio. [Chris]: And I am Chris Lazarus in Atlanta, Georgia. Thanks for tuning in.  [music] [Chris]: Hey everybody and welcome back to re:Think Real Estate. We're so happy to have you here this week. We've got Nate back. He is not selling homes right now. We've got Christian here and as always here to talk real estate and all thing real estate related. So just before getting started we were talking about how agents can control the transaction better and make deals go smoothly for our clients. Nate you are always taking listings. What are some things that you are doing to make sure that you are on top of the transaction? [Nathan]: Well again I was start thinking about this a little bit more before we got to recording here but I…again I think you as an individual…we all have different types of personalities but it also setting an expectation to our client. Right. Whether you are the list side or the buy side but you have to set that tone up front.  I am a little bit of a controller. Actually a lot but I like to control the situation. You have to have confidence and knowledge in what you're doing to do all that but that is the way I operate. Most of my clients appreciate that. And the reason I brought this us is because I have got a buddy I met the other day. He is a lender and another lender he knew was taking a beating because unfortunately buyers are liars and this buyers agent is calling and is literally in Ethany [phonetics] and all over the phone. And you know at a certain point you gotta tell a client you know whether you're the agent or you are the agent or the client and your client is the buyer or lister, you gotta have control over the certain things you can't do.  For that lender the agent was his client, I would have fired him. I wouldn't have taken that you know, it is just the way it goes. Same thing, I don't tolerate certain things from my clients. I mean we call it respect. You know a lot of people like to whine in our business but it is OK to lose a client. It is OK not to get every client. And I think we often forget that. It is kind of one of that win at all cost mentality maybe. I don't like that. [Chris]: And I think if you are winning at all cost you are not factoring in what makes this industry fun, it is being able to enjoy it. [Nathan]: Yeah. [Chris]: So obviously yeah I mean I feel like you are at the point in your career where yeah you can choose and have the option to fire your clients. But why was it…why do you think it got to that point in the transaction where the agent was calling and cursing at the lender? [Nathan]: Again, you know, I have said this before in our podcast. We want to be emotional. And I have always…I think the best thing I was ever taught when I got in this industry is to take my emotion out of it. [Chris]: Amen to that. [Nathan]: We realtors…You know I am gonna beat us up but as I have said the large majority we just love to feel so important, right? We love to know that “Hey look at me, hey look at me. I am an awesome, awesome relator. I am an awesome realtor”. Like… [Chris]: “Let me tell you about me. Let me tell you about me. It is all about me. Really what do you think about me”.  [Nathan]: Yeah. And so take the emotion out of it. You know, I don't know. [Christian]: Why do you…why do you suppose…I mean I have my thoughts on this. Why do you suppose he thought it was acceptable and call the lender and cuss him out and get all emotional about it? [Nathan]: Well the guy is an [censored] [laughter]. If he were listening, that is what I would tell him. Right.  [Christian]: OK.  [Nathan]: Bottom line is whether we are in realty or not you don't treat other people that way. Like you know… [Christian]: Why… [Nathan]: Yeah why did he treat somebody that way? Probably because he had really bad parents I don't know. [laughter]. [Christian]: Yeah I mean… [Chris]: A lot of people don't think about other people as actual beings. Human. I think that si the problem. [Christian]: I mean and I am on that. Obviously treat people as humans. Treat them with respect. But you know when it comes to like being professional in this industry I mean there is a lot of things that I like to push back on in industry like you know our job is to be the rock when our clients are emotional and deals you know on the brink of falling apart. I mean if we get emotional I mean I don't know any of you…I mean I know you guys have kids. I know that when I am near my kid's emotions and he is getting all ramped up and I am ramped up, that doesn't help. [Chris]: That makes it worse. [Christian]: Worse. But I mean if I can be a consistent calm and I am able to bring it back down to like “OK let's look at the reality of things if you know…” But I think a lot of agents kind of lose their cool because they think “I am advocating for my client. I am passionate when I am doing my job”. No no you are just being a [censored] and you are [censored] things up for your client.  [Nathan]: Yeah well said. [Chris]: So that gets to a great point on helping to control the conversation to control the transaction. Is controlling emotion. [Christian]: Definitely. [Chris]: Because if we can control our emotion and understand that when we are interacting with a client it is a very…they are in a heightened state of emotion. Right. Buying a…Buying a real estate parcel, right a house or a commercial or whatever it is, is extremely stressful for people because they have a lot invested in it. It is a lot of money. It is a big transaction.  So if something bad happens they are gonna think it is the worst thing in the world even if it is just you know a small hiccup. If something miniscule like good happens they are gonna think it is the best thing in the world. So if we can just kind of maintain a level of neither good nor bad on the emotional scale than holy hell like that really can do exactly what it does for your kid Christian. It is just like calm. When something bad goes on don't worry. Got it under control.  [Nathan]: I…you know I wasn't here the last episode we recorded because I had a deal going sideways. Even my client's father flew in from Boston. He was… [Chris]: To help the deal or to ruin the deal.  [Nathan]: Well at first I thought was honestly he was gonna ruin it. He was very emotional. It was his son's house. It is you know a lot of things going sideways on this.  [Chris]: Yeah. [Nathan]: And you know he called me “What are we gonna do?”. And now we're just [inaudible] we're great. We're good buddies now. But I said “We're gonna work the problem.” “What do you mean?” I said “We're gonna work the problem. Work the problem”. I mean we get…this is 3 days of craziness in my life here recently. And he called me and said “Man I gotta tell you kept your cool.” Yeah I did because me getting upset is exactly what Christian said. It is just gonna make everybody else upset.  .So I am..I am like the captain of the ship right. If I am freaking out everybody else is freaking out. I am you know…It was not fun. But we got through it. And now here is a gentleman that like he is my biggest advocate that I could possibly have now. But I think if I would have reacted the way he was initially reacting it was gonna be really, really bad 3 days for me. And it turned out an Ok 3 days, you know what I mean. [Chris]: Yeah you gotta control that. [Nathan]: Yeah. [Chris]: That is definitely one thing that agents can do in a transaction to kind of control the tone, control the pace. It is just control our own emotions because whether you want to believe it or not people are gonna mimic you. That is just how it happens. So obviously in the deal that you mentioned Nate the agent got upset with the lender. Obviously something at some point was not communicated clearly. Because if the lender had all the information and the agent had all the information and the buyer was given all the information than usually…I don't see a circumstance where somebody is gonna yell at somebody. Christian… [Christian]: It sounds like there is an unmet expectation there. I don't know. [Chris]: Yeah it sounds like it. So Christian when you are working with a buyer and you've got all these different wheels that are moving more so than with the seller, what are some things that you are doing to set expectation with people? [Christian]: Yeah I mean I say setting expectations specifically but communication in general that is probably the most important thing you can do as a real estate agent. [Chris]: I agree. [Nathan]: Yeah. [Christian]: Because you can be a terrible agent and totally incompetent but if you can communicate well you look like you're doing your job. You know now whether or not you do the back end and actually have knowledge and stuff that is all a different thing but you can be a rock star agent and know exactly what you're going but if your communication sucks your agent is gonna think you suck. [Chris]: It is like you're up on a show. You've got the curtain right and the clients are seeing what is in front not what is behind. [Christian]: right. And so that is a long answer to basically say I am mister kind of control freak I have got processes for everything. And part of the process is this template email as part of my CRM and first thing we do “Hey we are under contract. OK here is the 5 things you are gonna expect, here is what comes next, here is what we're gonna be doing for you in the next 3 days. Here is what you are gonna be doing”. You know. And after we get past our expectance commencing here is what it is gonna look like.  You know now that is not the only communication but that is like it sets the expectations up front you know because you get a contract and now there is a whole bunch of stuff going on and now they're stressing out. You know I can't be on the phone with them every 10 minutes you know and call them off the ledge. But if you set these expectations and say “This is what happens and this is what we're doing.” And you know checking in with them whenever there is a new bench mark. That has a calming effect you know on them as opposed to they don't hear anything. [Nathan]: Oh yeah you don't have to do a lot. I mean I send out Friday updates. That is what I call it. Friday updates. Every Friday I touch my clients no matter where we are. Just to give them something right. But I mean Christian you hit…all your points were spot on. Maybe you should just have the Christian Harris school of mentoring real estate agents [laughter]. All people can learn from that. [Chris]: Definitely. [Nathan]: You know communication is key. So…I am with you on that one. I am seeing great agents who know everything very well but they are horrible communicators. [Christian]: And to your point Nathan I mean, part of that communication is even if nothing is going on once a week touching in. I do my touching on Monday because typically like if you are working on a listing that is when it is going to be the most information that we can pass. So I do my updates on Mondays. The point is going on “Hey there is nothing going on and I just want you to know so that you are not wondering what is going on”.   [Chris]: Yeah for both of you to reach out and tell somebody nothing has changed, is one of the key differentiators that I have seen for people who are successful  and who are not. Because if you are having that communication level when nothing is happening they know “Oh OK nothing is happening but I am not hearing silence”. Because it is when the seller or the buyer, they hear silence that is when they get in their own head. And they start thinking “Well is this agent really doing things in my best interest. Are they really working on my behalf”. [Christian]: You have to interfere with the doubt and the emotions kind of you know. [Chris]: It comes in the silence. Exactly. Awesome so we're getting about halfway through the episode right now. I want to…we are trying out a new segment called re:Think Realty bonus thoughts where we have a topic to discuss that none of us have seen before. We're just pulling it out of an envelope. So this one is “Things seen in houses.” I am really not sure. I guess we're just supposed to talk about things that we have seen in houses. Things like “Where is Waldo”. Print frames. Eye level in the bathroom. Things like that. Blurred out dog face on a listing photo. [Christian]: So like funny or unique things that we have seen? Is that like… [Chris]: Yeah what are some unique things that you have seen in homes that you have listed? [Christian]: I have seen atrocious staging and unfortunately it was one of my first listings when I was trying out a stager so… [Chris]: Was it really? [Christian]: I had to fire that stager and the stager I use now was the person that came in like 2 days noticed and saved the day. But yeah I have seen that. I have noticed that you want to make sure you have a local stager. Here in Seattle we've got a couple of…Well we've got a lot of island like 107 islands. And one of the…I had a friend who had a mom who does staging so I gave her a hot but she was from one of the islands and she came over and did it and her idea of staging was weaker in floral prints. And it made it look like a grandma's house and it was not gonna fly in Seattle. [Chris]: Wow. [Christian]: That is unfortunately that was kind of my fault but that was something I have seen that was atrocious and made sure it didn't get to the listing photos and that was a learning experience. [crosstalk]. I am sorry? [Chris]: What do you got Nate? What is something you have seen in a house? [Nathan]: Guns. [laughter] [Christian]: Alright. [Nathan]: No, yeah I mean like literally guns just laying out around the house. [Chris]: Oh yeah I have seen that. [Nathan]: Like hand guns and rifles. And magazines in the club. I love guns don't get me wrong but I have got clients who have a kid with me and I am like “Holy snap” like you know what's going on. Like… [Christian]: That is a different world in Ohio I guess. [Chris]: It is not just Ohio we've got that in Georgia too. I have walked through homes and opened up a closet and boom there is a shotgun just sitting right there.  [Nathan]: That is…the oddest…[crosstalk] [Chris]: Yeah so one of the oddest things that I have ever seen in a home is in a basement they…put in multiple urinals in a restroom.  [Christian]: Like a restroom? [Chris]: Like a bathroom but then they…When they finished the basement they made it like a big bathroom with like 3 urinals but no divider. Really, really weird I have no idea why. [Christian]: Were they having like a fight club in the basement?  [Chris]: Yeah yeah it was really weird. I ended up not getting that listing. Because I don't think he liked what I said about marketing that. [Nathan]: Have you guys ever been in a home where they have pad locks on all the doors on the exterior like on a bedroom? [Chris]: I have seen that one. [Christian]: That is creepy as hell.  [Nathan]: I saw that a few weeks ago and I was like “That is really weird”.  [Chris]: Yeah.  [Christian]: I wouldn't want to know what they do. [Chris]: You are either doing some child abuse there or you just got a lot of guns in that room. [Christian]: It's sketchy. [Chris]: Whatever it is. Yeah it is in the living room [laughter]. “You are not getting into my living room. This is mine”. It could be like one of those…Did you all see the listing that it was making the rounds on a few weeks ago, the sex dungeon in the basement? [Nathan]: Awesome. [Chris]: Yeah I mean just things like that.  [Christian]: Yeah like the brokerage had some pretty fun stuff, the lighter side of real estate had some pretty funny things like that.  [Chris]: Yeah definitely the things that they come up with that is absolute hilarity. I can't believe that you know when Kellen [phonetics] when he did his deal to our show got picked up by lighter Real Estate. It was… [Christian]: That was awesome. [Chris]: It was in one of the shows. OK so yeah re:Think Real Estate bonus thoughts. Giving it a shot. Tell us what you think. Make sure you leave us a review on iTunes for anybody listening. I…shoot us a comment either on our Facebook page or on the website on rtrepodcast.com.  So back to today's topic which was the agent's control of the transaction. Where they can make a big impact. Nate what is one of the most impactful things that you find you are able to do for your clients outside of communication and setting expectations? [Nathan]: I don't know. This…I mean it sounds weird but just being upfront and honest. I feel like…I feel like there are so many agents that just are not forthcoming. Do you know what I mean? [Chris]: Yeah. [Nathan]: Again it is the win at all cost or lie at all cost just to get the listing. I mean I just went on a listing in an apartment a couple of weeks ago and she walked me up in the room and she said “Nate what do you think about this room”. I started to laugh and she said “What is funny?” And I said “This is a [censored] ugly room”.  And that is all [laughter] I said all these things in here and in the bathroom too and she starts laughing and I say “What is so funny Jane?” And she says “I have had 3 other agents in here and none of them have had the balls to tell me what I already knew.” [laughter]. She said “I love that you already told me that it is ugly”. She said “I know it is ugly but everybody else says this is gorgeous, this is lovely, we will do this to make it look like this”. She is like “It is an ugly room. Why won't somebody just tell me the truth?” And I told her the truth and guess who got the listing?  [Chris]: There you go. There you go. [Nathan]: Tell the truth. If they don't like the truth than they will hire somebody else that will tell them whatever lie they want to hear. [Chris]: And if you feel like you're not up to telling somebody “This is a [censored] ugly room”. You don't have to say it like that.  [Christian]: You can be more diplomatic to be honest. [Chris]: Yeah be more diplomatic. [Christian]: That is not Nate's style. [Nathan]: That is not my style lets be honest. [Chris]: Just so that our audience knows. You don't have to do it Nate's way. You can tell somebody “No this room may not be up to the aesthetics as the rest of the house. We probably won't focus our marketing efforts on this room”. [Christian]: Or “You can burn this room down”. Or something like that. [Chris]: Yeah. Or “We could put up some fumigation label outside so nobody comes in”. Whatever it may be, but yeah on that line with honestly I think one thing agents have sometimes gotten self-caught up in is when they find something that they don't know they will try and [censored] their way out of it. Instead of saying “I don't know, let me get you the answer. We will make sure that we do this the right way”.  And people feel like you know winning at all cost they want to feel like the expert they always want to be in the expert shoes, they don't want to step back and admit you know, “There might be something I don't know here”. You know that is kind of one thing that I think goes a long way in controlling the transaction is don't be afraid to admit where there is something that you haven't dealt with. That is why it is important to have a good team unless you are Nate. In which case you are solo.  But if you've got a good team or resources or you know even friends and people that you respect in the industry and people that you can reach out to as long as they're you know you are following your broker's direction, you are making sure that everything is legal and ethical. I don't think we have to cover that at this stage in the game.  But yeah just making sure that where your shortcoming are you are not [censored] through them. Christian what do you think are some things that you now can help control the situation a little bit more throughout the transaction especially due diligence, getting into financing and getting up to the posing table? [Christian]: Sure so I mean there is obviously like a minimum standard of what an agent has to do. I am more like how much can I do to help an agent. You know. So for us you know I mean like we all know that is…you know good buyers. You know it is the buyers responsibility as part of their…you know once they get a contract and they're talking to a lender and get all the documents they need and stuff. They need to reach to interns company and get a policy in place and that kind of stuff.  But like that is not really on our shoulders but I still make it a point to you know a day or 2 after to send out an email and say “Hey this is a reminder, these is the things that you need to do. Make sure you get your lenders documents at town manor, make sure you get a quote on home insurance because they can't hold an appraisal before you do”. You know just stuff that is not necessarily in my ball part but it helps them know that, like “These are things that you need to do as part of the process”.  [Chris]: Yeah and going an extra mile is huge. We've got a lot of good feedback ever since we started implementing move easy, which ties into our transaction management system. So move easy when our agents mark that their client is under contract they get this digital check list and resource bank that tells them everything that they need to do during the move from “Don't forget to order your moving supplies, don't forget to line up your child care, you're getting all your pet immunizations” whatever it might be. We put all of it in a checklist and our agents…our clients seem to love it. For those that take advantage of it. [Christian]: And that as I recall it is free for agents right? [Chris]: Well it has to be set up on a brokerage level but yes it is free. [Christian]: So talk to your broker about setting it up for you. Or if you do something like client giant you know per agent they do kind of that concierge. They take care of all your utilities and that is helpful too. [Chris]: That's awesome yeah. And that was Jay O'Brien [phonetics] we had him on last year. Definitely a great episode to go and listen to about providing what was it 7 start service in a 3 start industry? [Christian]: Yes. 5 start service and 3 star…7 start... [Nathan]: 7 star… [Chris]: 7 star in a 3 star. [Christian]: It's a good… [Chris]: Yeah it's a good one. He's a really good person to listen to as well.  [Christian]: Yeah for the service yeah.  [Chris]: Yeah I mean there is so many things that we can do to go above and beyond. You know in Georgia the typical transaction is byer gets contract. Contract gets due diligence. Due diligence gets home inspection. After home inspection there is no other inspection done. They may be right on. I have never seen anybody do a lot of base paint test. They just kind of waive that and you know that is it.  But there is so many other things that we can do. We can advise for air quality testing if there are allergies present which that I have seen happen. Partnering them with an insurance agent to make sure that the home is insurable and check for what the previous claims are. Like getting a clue report pulled. All of these things are huge and can make a big impact in not only your client experience but also controlling the situation, making sure that things are discovered before we get too far. So that at the last minute when we get to the closing table things are reared in their ugly head.  [Christian]: So speaking of kind of above and beyond just us doing our jobs for our clients, I mean what are you guys thoughts about health warranties? Typically I have written those off because they are so limited typically. As far as what they replace in the time frame. But like recently I helped a friend of mine buy a house kind of outside of my normal area a little farther outside in Takoma. And the recommended inspector from some of my you know, agent friends down there, they actually include a very inclusive home warranty that I was very impressed with.  And no extra charge you know like because they already did the inspection on the roof so they guarantee the roof is gonna hold for 5 years and appliances for this long and you know all these extra stuff that seems like a real value add for no additional money either to your pocket or out of their pocket. But what are you guys thoughts on hat? [Nathan]: I mean here in Ohio it is long. A seller typically pays for home warranty. I like them but I like to choose it because there are certain home warranties that have what they are called caps or limitations on what they will cover. And if you know those I don't think that is a good value. The ones that I typically go with on home warranty has no caps. The other side of it form a listing side is they have seller protection from the moment we put that house on the market, the items are covered in warranty. But I think you have to articulate to your client that a home warranty is good for your major stuff. [Chris]: Yeah sure. [Nathan]: Your HVAC furnace. [Chris]: Sometimes. [Nathan]: Yeah well OK again here they're smart like don't go and have a home warranty claim when you had an inspection that said it was bad right. That is not the way to do it so… [Chris]: And on top of that if you have a 25 year old HVAC system it is not gonna pay for a brand new system if it [censored] out. It will have a maximum amount that it will pay towards but on a 25 year old system it is gonna not cover that switch over from you know what was it our 20 to now 4 10A or whatever the new coolant is. So you got explain that to your clients.  Again back to what Nate was saying. Expectation setting. Back to what Christian was saying. Expectation setting. Making sure that everybody understands where the value is when they get it. [Christian]: So what you're saying is that home warranty can be of value just make sure you do your research that is actually a quality home warranty that provides something. [Chris]: Yeah. [Nathan]: 100%. [Chris]: On the first home that my wife and I ever purchased, 3 months in the stove shorted out. It came out 50 dollar call, rewired the entire thing and it worked fine. It is still in that home. But that was a lot less than it would have been you know to have you know a new stove or bring out an electrician so it has its values. [Nathan]: Yeah yeah, I just had to call a client and we were 2 days outside of closing an she was the seller and the hot water tank failed. We had seller protection on it. Guess what 65 dollar call, brand new hot water tank. [Chris]: There you go. [Christian]: Save your 500 dollars. [Nathan]: Saved probably more than that and you know she was already stressed out and called the client. I said “Let's have home warranty take care of that”. Again if you know what you're getting can be a great value. But… [Chris]: Absolutely.  [Nathan]: There are a lot of junk ones. [Chris]: And all of this…yeah all of this goes in line with taking control of the transaction and making sure that we are directing it in a way to get it to the closing table and we are directing it in a way that is in our client's best interest.  [Christian]: Yeah and speaking of staying in control of that transaction one of the things that I see…I moved to a whole other topic on this whole episode, but is that you know what do you do to continue to provide value and stay in front of your clients after closed? Or what the agent is gonna feel at that? [Nathan]: That is a whole episode.  [Chris]: Yeah that is a whole episode. Why don't we get into that next week [laughter]?  [Christian]: OK well I will give a little teaser than. [Chris]: Let's give a teaser and we will get into it next week.  [Christian]: What we started to do is a sort of called home button and that has been great because it is cheap. Right now it is only 25 dollars. You know, to use it and you get it for 500 clients. But basically it provides every month to your home buyer, it provides them with an automated like “Here is what your home is worth and if you refine,  this is what it would look like, if you are AIRBNBed one of your rooms this is the value if you added 300 dollars a month extra payment you know you would pay this much less over the course of yadayada”. So basically provides all these really easy to understand analytics for a client's house that is branded to you.  [Chris]: Awesome.  [Christian]: And instead of you know you sending out some junk email drip thing every month where they probably don't even look at, here is something that directly relates to their house that they're probably gonna look at it. And you can see all the analytics and back end when they're click on it. [Chris]: Thanks for tuning into re:Think Real Estate. Make sure you join us next week as we talk about how to provide value post-closing and control that relationship into the future. Christian you gave a great teaser on that. For anybody who hasn't please go to rtrepodcast.com. Sign up for the newsletter so you never miss when we drop an episode and leave us a 5-star review on iTunes. Have a great day everyone.  [music]  [Chris]: Thanks for tuning in this week's episode of the re:Think Real Estate Podcast. We would love to hear your feedback so please leave us a review on iTunes. Our music is curtesy of Dan Koch K-O-C-H, whose music can be explored and licensed for use at dankoch.net. Thank you Dan. Please like, share and follow. You can find us on Facebook at Facebook.com/rethinkpodcast. Thank you so much for tuning in everyone and have a great week.  [music]  

This episode WHATEVER WHO CARES BARRY WHITE IS BACK IN JOHN'S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!! OH OK, if you really have to know more, Billy insists on perving on breasts in the name of justice, Ally has a MAJAH realisation about why Billy had to go to Michigan, Rev Mark is mad because Lisa keeps singing fab-u-liss songs in church, and WHATEVER BARRY WHITE IS BACK AND WE'RE DANCING. This episode we're discussing s2e3: Fool's Night Out.   ***   Find Bygones:   On TWITTER! @bygonespodcast   On FACEBOOK! Search Bygones Podcast   On INSTA! @bygonespod    On EMAIL! bygonespodcast@gmail.com   ***  

In the early days of the Moonies, members all lived together in centers across the country and world. But when the second generation were born many families decided to move out and try something new: being totally separate from and yet a part of society. That’s what the second generation had to juggle, all the time and every day. Hideo and Teruko talk about the struggle to understand identity and belonging as the second generation.     TRANSCRIPT News Announcer [00:00:01] A decade ago, the Reverend Sun Myung Moon was accused of controlling the minds of young people creating so-called Moonies. News Announcer [00:00:08] So called Moonies, followers of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon head of the Unification Church who became well-known in the early 80s for his mass wedding ceremonies. Interpreter [00:00:16] Do you pledge to establish an eternal family with which God can be happy. Crowd [00:00:24] Yes! Interpreter [00:00:25] We are talking about absolute fidelity here. If anybody deviates from this God-given principle they are bound to hell. News Announcer [00:00:35] But the church has a different plan for the second generation. 2nd Gen [00:00:38] I felt like we weren't equipped for the world. You know we aren't just like this bubble. 2nd Gen [00:00:43] To me it sounds culty. I know it's what brought our parents to church but it's not what keeps me in the church. 2nd Gen [00:00:48] Even if I'm not doing everything that they want me to do, or I don't believe everything that they believe we still have this like line that connects us. Hideo Higashibaba [00:01:10] My name is Hideo Higashibaba. For the first 22 years of my life I was a member of a cult called the Unification Church. You might know them as the Moonies. I was born into the Unification Church and so were thousands of other people all over the world. This is Growing Up Moonie, stories from people who grew up in the church like me. People who joined the church as adults are called first generation and people born into the cult like me are called second generation blessed children or BCs. When first generation joined most of them gave up their worldly possessions and moved into church centers all over the country. My family lived in one of those centers in Boston. Every day the adults would go out fundraising or evangelizing and left their kids with a couple of other missionaries in a makeshift nursery. When I was born I was too small to be in the nursery so I spent the first year of my life with my mom at her meetings or the lectures she did on the church's teachings. When I was 2, my family moved out of the center and joined the hundreds of other Moonie families trying something new; being totally separate from and yet a part of society. That's what the second generation had to juggle all the time and every day. The next person I spoke with for this project was Teruko who was friends with my older sister Yojin when we were kids. Hideo Higashibaba [00:02:48] I'm really happy to connect with you I feel like we spent a lot of time to get always you in Yojin spent a lot of time ago those kids and I kind of idolized you. And then when you moved away it's sort of like I don't know and everything felt like it changed. Teruko [00:03:01] Yeah I mean I am the center of a lot of people's lives. Hideo Higashibaba [00:03:04] Pretty, pretty humble and modest I can see as well. Hideo Higashibaba [00:03:11] Teruko's family lived in Gloucester near a lot of other Moonie families. She went to school with a lot of other BCs and saw them every week at church. I always felt like an outsider, even at church. But I remember Teruko was in the thick of things, playing with the other kids, tearing around morning garden with Yojin and getting into trouble for running off into the woods. When she was in middle school Teruko's family moved to Omaha. She says the church community out in Nebraska was a lot more spread out and isolating. Teruko [00:03:45] There is actually a girl in middle school who told me that her grandma was a deprogrammer and I was really scared. I legitimately thought someone was going to come after me to take me away a or or whatever like all those horror stories you hear as a kid. Hideo Higashibaba [00:04:00] All Moonie kids grew up with stories of people who were kidnapped and deprogrammed or forced to denounce the leader Sun Myung Moon and the church. One woman I knew would testify to her faith by telling the story of how she was kidnapped by her family and locked in a room for days. Hideo Higashibaba [00:04:20] They told her she couldn't leave until she rejected the church and its teachings. Eventually, she got them to bring her something to drink. It was in a glass bottle so she broke it and cut herself with the glass. They took her to the hospital and she escaped back to the church. Because of stories like that, a lot of second gen me included, tried to keep our religion a secret for as long as we could. But with that girl threatening Teruko with her grandmother, Teruko didn't want to hide anymore. Teruko [00:04:52] Yeah that was kind of a turning point I think for me too. I don't know, I felt like I was kind of hiding everything for a long time and then she, when she told me that she said it kind of like, 'oh found out your secret.' And I was like 'oh crap.' And then I was like 'You know I shouldn't hide anything anymore because that's how bad things happen to people.' So, I actually was pretty outspoken, which is sort of an opposite reaction to most people. Hideo Higashibaba [00:05:20] Being separate and disliked by the general public was like a badge of honor. The leader Moon said we should be proud of our persecution. It made us worthy of our blessings. But for kids trying to go to school with other well-liked and normal children, that's a hard sell. I felt so guilty for hiding my faith. I desperately wanted to feel included and normal but that's hard to do would you also believe that you don't have Original Sin. Before that girl threatened to out her, Teruko did her best to hide her religion from other people. Teruko [00:05:58] I think it did make me feel kind of bad, like you're lying most of the time but you're not sure who you're lying to and I always felt weird about two parts of my life crossing over. Hideo Higashibaba [00:06:11] Why was it so anxiety inducing do you think? Teruko [00:06:17] Probably because, I would say one strong thing that I remember from Sunday school or camp or workshops or whatever, it was learning that second gen really special and were born without any Original Sin and all that stuff that we learned. And so other kids are not at the same level so you're different than them and I don't know, I guess I felt kind of like I had to be two people, like I had to be someone who was quote unquote "normal" or not the church around my school friends because they wouldn't understand because they weren't the same as me and then at church I couldn't be that person that I was at school because I had to create that separate personality. Teruko [00:07:11] One really scary thing, I think maybe one thing that helped me smash those two lives together was I took psychology in high school and we did a whole section on cults and I chose the church as my final project. Hideo Higashibaba [00:07:28] Wow. Dang. Dang girl, that is bold. That is very bold. Teruko [00:07:32] I was like, you know I'm terrified but I'm going to take it head on because otherwise I'll just be scared forever. Yeah, so I started my presentation off like very by the book and and then my big reveal was like five minutes before the end of my 30 minute presentation. I was like, Oh by the way I'm in this church. And people physically backed their desks up. And I got an A plus because I think my teacher was afraid to fail me. It was a good presentation, I like I wrote a good paper. But yeah, people looked at me differently after that, but all in all I don't think anything changed. And that's when I realized that it really wasn't that big a deal. Hideo Higashibaba [00:08:11] After high school Teruko got matched to a guy from England through picture matching where two families send pictures of their kids back and forth to potentially marry them off. They were blessed in Korea but Teruko ended up breaking it off. Soon after, Teruko decided to do this church program called STF, which a lot of second gen did after high school...other than get married. STF stands for Special Task Force. It's a program for college age blessed children that mimics what a lot of first gen did when they were full time missionaries. On STF, they do a lot of what's called witnessing, recruiting people to workshops or lectures on the church's teachings. They also do volunteer projects and give talks in schools about the importance of abstinence. All this was supported through fundraising which they did by traveling around in vans selling trinkets or candy on the street. Teruko [00:09:12] It was kind of like a Jesus Camp situation where I started questioning whether another really wanted to be in the church and then I thought, you know what, I should just dive in head first because that's the right thing to do and I will join STF and I will do pitch picture matching and that will fix me. It did not work like that. That's not how things actually work, I found out. But it was a really good experience, I got to travel Europe for six months. I met a lot of cool people and I think it came out better. Hideo Higashibaba [00:09:46] I mean it sounds a little bit traumatic. Teruko [00:09:49] That was very traumatic. But I have to do everything really extreme, I can't do anything the safe way. Not that I am a risk taker I'm just not strategic. Hideo Higashibaba [00:10:05] What was what was what was traumatic about it. Teruko [00:10:08] Well I was shunned for a good portion by everyone from, all the brothers, all the guys from England because I broke the...well I was actually blessed which in the church is getting married but it's not legal you start to go get like the paper signed. So I actually got Blessed somebody from England. And it didn't work out for just a couple of reasons. I was not ready and that was not fair to the other family because I thought I could go and get blessed and that kind of fix me, stop me from questioning, kind of center me or whatever have you. Because I feel like that's kind of what you grow up believing is that you just work really hard so you can be a perfect person so that you can get married and then have a family and you know white picket fence, yada yada yada. And I just kind of thought my life not going that direction so I thought I'd force it to which is like trying to put a circle block into a square hole. Hideo Higashibaba [00:11:12] That feeling of trying to put a circle block into a square hole is how I felt my whole life. What I was told to believe never really added up to what I actually experienced. I think that's the only way a cult can function; to get people to ignore their own experiences. If there was doubt it was a sign of a lack of faith. The solution was to pray about it until you understood. Hideo Higashibaba [00:11:47] One of my favorite songs used to be Bye and Bye. It's a Christian hymn. It goes, "We'll tell the story how we overcome and we'll understand it better bye and bye.". Hideo Higashibaba [00:12:05] "The story how we overcome," like how we overcame our sins and struggles. And will understand all our struggles, bye and bye. Like, eventually. For most of my life I thought that bye and bye could be in 10 years. But it also could be in 50 or maybe not even until I was dead and in the spirit world. My job was to wait and pray and believe, not ask questions. And that wasn't weird to me at least not until four years ago. That's the only way a cult can work; disconnecting people from how they feel and telling them to feel something else has to be normal. But talking with Teruko, it doesn't seem that dramatic. Juggling her life in and outside the church seems to have come pretty naturally. Once she decided to be open about her faith, it seemed like things got easier for her. She had a strong sense of self and she could build relationships and create a life on her own. Something I've been curious about while working on this project is how people growing up in the church experienced and developed their ideas of romantic love which Moonies seem to be really suspicious and scared of yet obsessed with at the same time. Teruko [00:13:25] My parents never really were affectionate and not because they were...I remember them fighting a lot of kids but I just remember never being afraid of that like I was just normal to me. My mom said like, my dad would just get mad, like, they'd arguing about something really stupid. About like, who was going to mow the lawn, you know, something pretty normal. My dad would just be like, "ugh" and go for a three hour drive just around and then he'd come back. So I remember never being afraid like, they're not going to get a divorce, that's not allowed in the church. So it just seemed super normal to me that they'd always fight. And it wasn't until I was an adult that I was like, oh normal people don't do that. Hideo Higashibaba [00:14:18] Teruko went through the blessing process even though she wasn't sure she was ready. None of us expected to feel totally ready any anyway. We were told that being attracted to your spouse when you first met was silly and superficial. Teruko [00:14:33] They're like you you won't be 100 percent ready. You might not even love this person for like seven years. Hideo Higashibaba [00:14:38] Or ten or a hundred. Teruko [00:14:40] Yeah and now hearing that I'm like, that's crazy. I mean I understand that you shouldn't marry someone because like your band is the favorite band with the other person. That stuff changes. That would be stupid to base your relationship off of but at the same time should not be marrying someone who is so different. Even if you think it's all these stupid little things, like, you'll never enjoy things together and you will wear and tear on you. Hideo Higashibaba [00:15:11] It's just like not a fun time. I think there's like this emphasis on the more cross-cultural the arranged marriage is and the more different and the more disparate than like the better. And it just doesn't seem like you're setting people up for success in a marriage. Teruko [00:15:27] Well. So I mentioned before that I actually went to a blessing. Got the dress the whole nine yards, right. And when we got there, I was just like, oh my gosh. I don't want to do this. But it was kind of that like, everyone's watching, you need to make this work. It's going to be difficult. And you just kind of accept that which is weird. Hideo Higashibaba [00:15:53] Teruko is married now but not to a church member. She met her now husband Johnny in college after STF when she was still living at home. She did not tell her parents she was seeing someone but her mom figured it out. Teruko [00:16:08] It started off the first encounter of Johnny and my mom. She was looking at my cell phone bill and she was like you're texting the phone number a lot. Who is this. And she called him, like she got his number from the cell phone bill and called him. Oh yeah yeah. Are you like cringing right now? Hideo Higashibaba [00:16:27] Yes my hand is fully on my face. Just full palm. Teruko [00:16:32] Called him and then met him at a coffee shop and she was basically like, I know you think that you're going to be in this relationship with Teruko and you might think you really love her but in our religion you're Satan and you're going to pull her away and... Hideo Higashibaba [00:16:51] Oh my God! Teruko [00:16:51] And later he was like, your mom called me Satan. I just want you to know that. Uhh. Hideo Higashibaba [00:17:04] Oh no! Teruko [00:17:04] Oh yeah. She was like, you're in the position of the archangel and Adam and Eve and blah blah blah and this whole biblical thing and went into a whole thing. I don't even know how long they were there, because I didn't know she was meeting him. Hideo Higashibaba [00:17:19] Oh my god, I'm crying! Teruko [00:17:19] And he stuck around! Hideo Higashibaba [00:17:19] He loves you so much Teruko. Either that or you're like amazing in bed. Either way I mean, that's amazing. Teruko [00:17:27] I am just a great person in general. Hideo Higashibaba [00:17:30] I mean I'm totally totally willing to believe that. That is bananas, what you just described. Teruko [00:17:37] Yeah. But he was very serious. I mean, when I first met him I was kind of like you know doing my own thing I think I was like 22 maybe. And so like I can drink now. My parents aren't in charge of me but I still live at home so I have to sneak in at night. It's really weird and yeah I don't know, I think he was like hey...I don't even remember how he asked me if I wanted to like, 'go steady' but like he asked me out and I was just like, well I'm not going to just date someone. Either we get married or nothing. Hideo Higashibaba [00:18:17] Wow. Did you say that to him? Teruko [00:18:19] Oh yeah. He was like, Oh OK. Sure. Hideo Higashibaba [00:18:27] And it was just like that, just like that simple and easy? Teruko [00:18:30] I mean then we dated for a year and got engaged and got married. Well, got Blessed and then married. Yeah, but now my mom's like, totally changed her tune. "We love Johnny so much!"   Hideo Higashibaba [00:18:38] No longer Satan. Teruko [00:18:38] He's amazing, so great. And I'm like, you guys didn't like him at the beginning, she's like, I don't remember that. Hideo Higashibaba [00:18:48] Oh really. You don't remember calling your future son-in-law Satan. Hideo Higashibaba [00:18:54] Teruko and Johnny were blessed in a mass wedding like good second gen are. They did the special pre-blessing workbooks and workshops you're supposed to do before the blessing. Johnny even did a year-long study of the church's teachings with Teruko's mom which must have been really intense. Hideo Higashibaba [00:19:14] But all that is totally different from what we were told was OK when we were kids. Second gen were prepped to marry someone in the church our whole lives. It was kind of the whole point for people without Original Sin to marry other people without Original Sin. And when you marry someone outside the church you kind of ruin that. When my sister Anshin started dating a non-Moonie I felt like my family was getting ripped apart. Anshin was constantly fighting with my parents. Her boyfriend would goad me into fights with him. It felt like there was an intruder in our house. It got better once they got married and all was forgiven by the time they had their first child, at least for my mom. I don't think my dad has ever totally forgiven Anshin but eventually my parents adjusted to this new reality like Teruko's parents. Hideo Higashibaba [00:20:12] I also want to point out that Teruko and Johnny, and my sister and her husband, are cisgender straight people. They dated for a year and got married. Teruko didn't even date other people before. All that probably made it a lot easier for her parents to accept Johnny and for Teruko to keep the friends and community she has in the church. Hideo Higashibaba [00:20:35] The inside world of the church and the outside secular world blended more and more as second gen got older. Some even stopped believing what the church taught. But for most second gen, their friends were in the church and it was a huge part of their identity. That community was the extension of their family. It's not something you can just walk away from. Hideo Higashibaba [00:20:59] You said that when you met Johnny you were still living at home, but you were pretty disillusioned with the church and kind of stepping away from it and then... Teruko [00:21:12] Yeah, I still went on Sunday so my parents wouldn't... It was easier for me to spend an hour at church than to get scolded for several days. So I was that thing where you show up and then leave. Eat and then leave. But yeah, I think I was pretty done at that point with everything, but I mean like I said before the community is my favorite part and there are some great people who are you know just the nicest people you ever meet. If I don't want to lose that and I kind of felt like if I left the church I would lose that. And that kind of kept me around. Hideo Higashibaba [00:21:52] Teruko married someone outside the church and doesn't believe what her parents believe, but she still gets to have a relationship with them. And for me it's hard to hear that Teruko gets to be herself and keep her family because the closer I get to being myself, embracing and loving my queerness and being transgender and living my own life, the further away my family feels from me. The less I feel like we will ever reconcile. Teruko broke all the church's rules. But two cisgender straight people getting married is not that weird to the rest of the world. And I think it made it easier for her family to accept her. Second gen don't remember a time before the church, before we believed all the things we were taught to believe, before Moon was the messiah. Even as Teruko and other second gen grew up and learned new things or developed their own opinions the church's teachings ran deep. Hideo Higashibaba [00:22:56] So you said that you were pretty disillusioned you were pretty done but then when Johnny was like, Hey do you want to go out with me you were like, well if you want to go out with me you also have to marry me, which is seems to me like a pretty... Teruko [00:23:07] It's a pretty church thing to say like, no dating. I think it's just like, I definitely held a lot of a lot of the beliefs, I still hold them. There are good things. I think that it's that organized religion portion that bothers me like seeing my parents donate hundreds and hundreds of dollars that they didn't have to build some kind of crazy building in the homeland in Korea which like, Cheon Pyung which is, I don't know if it's like town, I'm not sure, it's a lot of land in the mountain where like headquarters is. It's beautiful there. It's amazing. I'm sure if you live there. But I mean and then that's all built on donations would have kind of like a forced donation it wasn't really like the normal 10 percent or whatever. Several hundred dollars that you would donate at a time. I just remember being like, No thanks. I don't think if you really believe in a God who is not a physical I don't know, like king sitting on a throne, does he care if your church has a huge million dollar stained glass window in it? I also think that other religions having their brick and mortar buildings be so elaborate is ridiculous. But that's just me. Hideo Higashibaba [00:24:31] Well it just feels personal with this one. Do you remember that campaign they did where it was like liberating your ancestors. And if you could give like a lower amount than it would be fewer ancestors but if you did a higher amount it would be more ancestors liberated and since like... Teruko [00:24:46] Someone from Omaha liberated like thirty generations on both side or whatever like whatever that amount is. I have no idea. Hideo Higashibaba [00:24:56] Like the highest one was like 500. But then you had to pay like a thousand dollars. And it felt weird to me at a time but I was a kid and I was actually like very strictly taught to not question any adult let alone my parents. But looking back now, I get like, physically angry because like that was the same year my mom couldn't afford to buy me shoes for like school and my aunt had to step in. Teruko [00:25:22] It was, you know, I think though that like people in any religion or for any cause that they believe in do this kind of thing. I mean like, I'm addicted to those hoarder shows, like animal hoarders, and there are people who start off with really good intentions where they're like, Oh no these dog needs help I'll adopted it. There's always gonna be another thing. And then you just can't catch up at some point. Hideo Higashibaba [00:25:54] The church has also adapted to the times. Teruko's husband Johnny is not a second gen but now he's blessed. That is totally different from the plan we were told as children. But if every second gen who dated or married someone outside the church was thrown out, the church would have failed years ago. So now second gen can be blessed to non-Moonie Original Sin having people. My life totally fell apart as I tried to make sense of my childhood and I am still struggling to understand it. But Teruko she's found a kind of peace with her childhood, as strange as it was. Teruko [00:26:40] Definitely the church has had a big impact on who I am and the direction my life has taken. And sometimes there were downs but followed by huge ups language is common for anybody in any religion or in any part of the world which makes me feel better. Which is very different from when I was a kid and I felt very different. But probably with a smaller world view you see the differences a little bit clearer. Seeing more people and how many different kinds of people, different upbringing just makes me realize that kind of depressingly I'm a drop in the bucket. But it's no good to know that I'm not a sore thumb sticking out too. Hideo Higashibaba [00:27:44] Next time on Growing Up Moonie... First Gen [00:27:47] Controversy is something you expect when you're a Unification Church member. A Moonie as we're lovingly known. We've grown up with controversy. Hideo Higashibaba [00:27:56] That's next time on Growing Up Moonie. This episode of Growing Up Moonie was written by me, edited and produced by Quinn Myers with music by Podington Bear. If you want to help other people find these stories please leave us a rating or a review to help them find this podcast. Go to growingupmoonie.com for more. I am Hideo Higashibaba. Thanks for listening.  

Hear a taped Angel Message Reading, where Julie gives one listener messages from their Angels and loved ones on the Other Side. Julie also talks about animals, specifically our sweet beloved pets. Julie discusses how animals raise the vibration of not only us, but our homes. She'll also show you where she sees your pets on the Other Side. Do they really cross a rainbow bridge? Are they in Heaven? Julie says the answer to that is yes, but it doesn’t look like what most people think it does — it’s even more beautiful and she'll explain that. Then, wrap up the episode with a soothing meditation that will help you have an excellent start to your week! Links mentioned in the podcast are below:   Book an Angel Message Reading or Life Coaching! Website:  www.jancius.com   Continue the Conversation! Ask a question on social media and Julie may answer it on the podcast! Instagram: www.instagram.com/angelpodcast/ Facebook: www.facebook.com/angelpodcast/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLOL5Dgsssv7A4C7SLvyqWg?view_as=subscriber   Be on The Show Want to record a session for the podcast or tell a story about your loved ones / Angels coming through from the Other Side? Email me at juliejancius@gmail.com   Meet Julie in Person! Blonde Boutique in Glen Ellyn April 11, 2019 from 6 - 10 pm Julie will be giving mini-Angel Message Readings that night! Blonde Boutique Website Blonde Boutique Instagram   Prayer Jar Add your name (or the name of a family member/friend) to Julie's prayer jar, and she will pray for you/them every morning. All you have to do is subscribe on Julie's Website:  www.jancius.com   Show Notes *Show notes recorded by Sonix.AI.  [00:00:00] Hello Beautiful Souls! Welcome back to the Angels and Awakening podcast. Today I'm sharing the first angel message reading that I ever recorded for this podcast. And after that we're going to talk about our pets are sweet beloved animals. And I'll share with you how our animals raised the vibration of not only us but our homes as well. We'll talk about where our pets go. On the other side do they cross the rainbow bridge. Are our animals really in heaven. The answer to that is yes. But it doesn't look like what most people think it does. It's even more beautiful. And I'll explain that in this episode.   [00:00:43] Also if you're in Chicago land and want to come out and meet me mark your calendar for April 11th. I'll be at the Blonde Boutique in Glen Ellyn that night giving mini Angel readings. If you've never been to the Blonde Boutique in Glen Ellyn you have to check it out. They have the best clothes and jewelry. They're also a great store to go to if you're looking for any gift ideas. You can check them out at www.shopblondeboutique.com where you can also shop online.   [00:01:21] You're listening to angels and awakening where we believe daily life can be lived from a constant state of love joy peace bliss ease and grace.   [00:01:32] Why are people always searching for a better way to live. Because there is one life doesn't have to be stress filled and anxiety ridden. You can make lasting changes that lead to a life you love. My name's Julie Jancius. I have the gift of connecting with angels and bringing through their healing. Positive messages to my clients every day. Join us on the Angels and Awakening podcast each week as we explore our big spiritual questions. Interview experts and bring through Angel messages. I am so excited you're here   [00:02:09] Friends. We have an incredible episode today and I'm so excited to share that with you. But first I have to tell you how much you, yes you, listening right now how much you mean to me. The podcast has only been up for about a month now and you've all been writing and telling me how you're sharing the podcast with your friends and family and I want you to know, that I know, the success of this podcast is one hundred percent you. You listening, you sharing your ideas with me, you spreading the word to people who you're closest to so thank you. I want you to know that I value you as a partner and I really do think of you as part of my team. I just want to thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for going above and beyond for me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. Thank you so much to everyone who's left a positive review as well. If you didn't see it on Instagram the winner of this month's drawing was Ashley Lite. Ashley won a free 30 minute Angel message reading because she wrote a positive review on iTunes. Remember every time you post a positive review on iTunes and email me a screenshot or a copy of the positive review you posted and I'll put your name into a drawing to win a free Angel message session with me.   [00:03:36] If you don't have an iPhone you can still be entered into the drawing. If you post a glowing positive review on Facebook or on my business page on Google again that would be my business Facebook page or on Google when you look up my business name Chicago energy healing. And if you post that positive review I will still enter your name in to a drawing to win that free Angel message session. Just don't forget to email me a copy so that I can add your name into the jar and you know what. Every month I'm going to pick a new winner and I'm going to keep your name in the jar until you win. So there's many opportunities and thank you so so much for everything that you're doing to support the podcast. I really from the from the bottom of my heart I really can't even tell you how much I appreciate it.   [00:04:31] OK. Without further ado here it is the angel message session I recorded the one you're going to hear today was the very first one that I recorded in this session you'll hear me talking about praying before the session.   [00:04:44] That's something that I actually do every day. I pray for the clients who are coming in for a session that day I pray for God to allow the person coming in to hear the messages that they need most from the people they need to hear most from. I also ask God to ensure that every client who comes to see me gets the maximum benefit possible from that session and when I pray for each individual client in the morning what I do is I take notes on who's on your spiritual team and what your angels have to say and they'll just start showing me what needs to be talked about in the session and where the person needs healing energy the most. OK so I don't want to give anything else away by talking about the session so I'll just jump right into it. And then after the sessions over stay on because you'll hear me chat more with you. We're going to discuss a couple parts about the session but even more than that we're going to talk about animals your pets how they help us in this lifetime and in heaven. OK so here it is my first recorded mini session with a woman named Elle.   [00:06:16] So l today when I was really praying on your energy there were a lot of different things that came up but I want to touch base first with the people that were coming through and the messages that they were bringing.   [00:06:29] There was a younger female more of a grandmother energy also came through my my dog passed away recently too was my everything and then I'm also really close to my boy love who passed away. I talked to her a lot.   [00:06:51] To the that's that motherly grandmotherly energy that was coming through and the young female. It doesn't really matter the dog's age.   [00:07:00] It's more the energy of the spirit because she did come through almost with this daughterly energy and was she sick because she shows me her energy fading towards the end?   [00:07:13] Yeah.   [00:07:14] So this is something that you helped nurse her through a bit.   [00:07:17] Yeah yeah.   [00:07:18] She wants to thank you for all of the love that you gave her. She shows me does she have a really fun collar?   [00:07:27] Yeah, I have a friendship color so me and her both wear the same one. It's like very vibrant.   [00:07:37] Was it pink?   [00:07:37] Yeah. Yes. Yeah.   [00:07:42] So she and you have this and you still wear this in memory of her is that right. Yeah. I'll send you a copy of this paper where I wrote everything down. But she had me right recent passing, was sick but she shows me from her passing she's tying it to this sadness in your heart chakra and when I got to the heart chakra I wrote deep down you have a knowingness of why but she said You're resisting it not letting go not moving on.   [00:08:12] She had me right stuck, needs to move on, she just shows me she was your daughter, she was your baby and that she needs you her mom to be happy again she needs you to not have so much of this hurt.   [00:08:30] She helped me through a lot of transitions in my life and I feel stuck in that I have to start from scratch with everything again and I don't know how to do that without her so I do feel very stuck.   [00:08:51] Yeah yeah yeah. The entire back page of what she had me write down. They had me write new pass Great inspiration full of excitement create something amazing They had me go through your energy relating to your mind and they showed me that you're working through really this confusion within this situation, that's on the other side of the paper, let me see what they said about that confusion: you're typically really intuitive but you're completely confused perplex about this, and it and it does connect with that heart ache. they showed me that this new path is you turning a negative into a positive, and they're really working with you to help you succeed but a lot of that is about getting over this blockage that you have and really believing in yourself yeah.   [00:09:46] So I struggled with drug addiction and I thought the biggest thing and I've also struggled with an eating disorder and so I feel like I get in the way of myself a lot and I just experience a good amount of negativity but I also I've always said that I feel like it's meant so that I can help others like I feel like I'm. That's been my purpose. That's my purpose on this planet. But it is like fighting the self-confidence and like finding like believing in myself a lot of things that I'm scared to do I feel like to get to that point. And when it comes to my intuition I would consider myself very intuitive. And ever since Lola's passed it's been harder for me to go to those places like it's harder for me to meditate. There's like resistance for sure.   [00:10:36] Yeah. So exactly what she had said about in your heart chakra this knowingness of why but resisting it not letting go not moving on.   [00:10:48] You do have very deep purpose here and there really actually excited for you for all that's to come.   [00:10:55] So there's some big there's this big energy of shifting to this entirely new chapter.   [00:11:02] I moved to Virginia from California a month and a half ago.   [00:11:07] Oh OK. And what is this new work that you're doing out in Virginia.   [00:11:12] I work in a health food store with a bunch of really sick people that I I just believe a lot of the things I feel like it's the place here where like my spirit aligns the most. And it makes me happy.   [00:11:25] Yeah it's awesome.   [00:11:27] The other thing that really came through is work on yourself and just really loving yourself more. They showed me that you have this a deal of how things should be but that you feel like you don't measure up and they really need you to release that because on the other side our souls were not better than one another. We're all pieces of the same hole. The metaphor that Spirit gives me for   [00:11:59] Our relationship to God and how we're made in the image and likeness of God universe is that think of all the water here on Earth. All of the oceans the lakes the rivers and imagine all of that water together. That is the metaphor that they give us for the universe. Now take all of that water and split it apart into individual droplets all of it is just individual droplets. Those droplets would go on for infinity. Right. And each one of those droplets is a soul. It's part it's us as a collective.   [00:12:38] All of our souls together and creates this energy this force universe God Source on the other side.   [00:12:45] I hope that helps you a little bit because what they want for you is to release this a deal that you're less than that you're not good enough that that you're not meeting the ideal within your own mind of how you should be.   [00:13:00] How things should be. Because really if you allow them to they will hold you through it. And I know that that's hard because you haven't felt it as much but what they're showing me is if you just release this fear and really this fear of just messing it up they will be able to hold you so much more. Does that make sense.   [00:13:24] Yeah absolutely.   [00:13:26] Because they also had me right. Slow down.   [00:13:29] Tap into your self healing forgiveness remove energy so she can move forward so that as you've moved into a new state a new place a new job.   [00:13:43] Have you really taken time to stop and think about what you want what you want things to look like moving forward.   [00:13:53] That's the thing it's like I don't know what I want. That's the problem I like. I know I want to help others. I know I want to take all of this and do something with it. You know where I can incorporate all of this stuff but Joy I don't know where I want to lay I'd like set up really or how well God even looks like. Yeah yeah.   [00:14:21] So there's two ways that you could go at this.   [00:14:24] You have this knowledge of addiction but you also have more of this passion just for health and wellness and what they're showing me is you going into something more of the addiction route you're kind of fearful of always being in that energy versus going into something more health related that doesn't have that addiction piece to it. More like massage therapy psychotherapy different types of wellness therapies that you could get certified in and really use to help others without having the terms of addiction and the therapy of addiction constantly surrounding you.   [00:15:13] Yeah. You nailed it. You know so get well with L has been my dream I guess. And it's more of like life coach you like wellness. I'm really interested in all of like chakras in meditation and more like eastern philosophy and I want to get my yoga certification and I'm into like astrology and all of these things where I wish I could like call all of this knowledge which I'm still learning a lot about. But I'm like I want to get good oh so that I can pull all of this knowledge and use it to help people you know. But it's scary to put myself out there on that level. Yeah.   [00:15:58] So. So I really want to break this down a little bit more because what they're showing me is that's where the confusion part is coming into you know astrology and these different things. They're so different Reiki versus astrology. And there are some similar threads but really what they're showing me is that you have to do your research you have to actively search out guidance from different experts.   [00:16:21] So call up different people who have that career who are in that career locally by you see if you could take them out for coffee or tea and talk to them about what their career is like and really maybe even take a year to figure out OK you know it's not astrology it's Reiki or it's not Reiki it's astrology or whatever it might be. I want you to first make a list of all the different career options that are out there life coaching everything and then go through and research each one of them. So maybe make a list of your top 10 and go through and research each one of them. Call up people talk to people really do your homework there and then narrow it down to the top three to five and then narrow it down to the top three the top two then the top one and it might even be where you know I I do angel readings but I do have my Reiki master teacher certification I also have my geos master teacher which she says is just another form of energy healing. So it might end up being two different ones that you end up getting into but at least you vender narrowed it down to some specifics right.   [00:17:41] So that's really where they're showing me that that confusion peace comes in that we talked about earlier that they had me write down. They need you to break through that confusion but they keep repeating how excited they are they're saying that you're really going to create something amazing you're really going to turn those negatives into positives through your work and it's definitely in this realm of healing because Archangel Rafael is helping you through this. He also had me write he's given you another female angel who's a healer to help you with your career.   [00:18:19] So that's on the front page it says Archangel Rafael arrow to a female angel arrow to your career were you really good at training her with tricks as well.   [00:18:32] Oh yeah. I trained her I to agree age. Actually I a lot of suit when she was like eleven.   [00:18:41] Well but she was really well just so well-behaved like she was still love you know.   [00:18:50] Yeah.   [00:18:52] You know we have our animals with us on the other side in the realm that I call home base and that's where she is waiting for you in this place called home base on the other side.   [00:19:07] Everybody has a house over there. Everybody's family lives on the same street. From our sole family and your grandmother shows me her with your dog right now taking care of her and and that she's safe and sound over there. Well I'm so thankful that you decided to come on this show today and you're your team your spiritual team on the other side did a phenomenal job of bringing their messages and they were pretty spot on about what you're going through and they're just so excited for you about everything to come they're going to continue working with you to make sure that you're on the right path. You know they're always working with you 24/7 so you don't have to fear that they're not gonna be around they're always there.   [00:19:56] This is incredible.   [00:19:59] Thank you so so so much. I tell you how much this means to me so thank you.   [00:20:05] Oh good. Thank you so much. Al I really appreciate your time today.   [00:20:10] Thank you so much. It was wonderful. Thank you OK.   [00:20:15] Julie I'm back to chat with you some more. I hope you enjoyed listening to this mini session for the remainder of the podcast. We're going to talk about animals our pets. But first I want to let you know one part of this session that you just listened to was edited out in order to really respect the privacy of our guest. Also I want you to know that when struggles with addiction come up in a session I always refer the person to work with an addiction specialist a professional an addiction continuously because I am not trained in this area. Spirit says that while we do have a team on the other side we also need a team of people here on earth to help us. And it's really our responsibility we have to take on the ownership of building up this team for ourselves. Now I am always happy to be a part of your team here. But if there's something that you need to see a professional for I'm always going to refer you to that professional to ask you to include them as part of your team here on Earth as well. OK. Now let's talk about this episode animals specifically pets are always coming through in my sessions.   [00:21:29] Sometimes it's our pets that we actually need to connect with most in a reading. So they do they come through with love and messages for you. Sometimes their pets even come through as our children because our bond with them was that deep during our time here together. So I got to talk to Theresa Caputo about this back in the fall and I don't want to give you the wrong impression. I don't know her at all. I only got to talk with her for about five minutes backstage after one of her shows. But during that time she told me a story about how one time she was on stage in front of thousands of people. She was reading a woman and she said Your daughter's coming through. And the woman looked at her she said completely frustrated and confused. And the woman kept telling her I don't have a daughter but I don't have a daughter. And Theresa said all I can tell you is what Spirit is showing me. And they're showing me the soul of a daughter on the other side. And she says you have her bracelet. And Theresa said the look on the woman's face when she said that was just pure shock. She goes. Oh   [00:22:41] I do. But it's not my daughter. It's my dog.   [00:22:45] She just passed away.   [00:22:47] That was the same thing that happened to me in my reading with al the energy of the soul who wanted to come through. She came through more as a daughter than anything else. And that's because in this life here she truly did hold the energy of a daughter for Al. Does that make sense. She was really like a daughter to her here.   [00:23:10] Now if you own a pet now or if you've ever owned a pet before you know that animals hold a high vibrational frequency and they not only shift our energy the energy of our being but they also shift the energy within our homes. I personally noticed this when we've got our first dog fluff. Three years ago the energy vibration of the household definitely shifted upwards. He brought a much higher vibration into the house. The same thing happened with Lulu when we got her last year. The energy shifted again even higher. But you know spirits telling me to give a warning here because they show me they show me somebody running out and buying 10 dogs or using this as an excuse to keep buying or animals that they really don't have the time or energy to take care of.   [00:24:04] And you know as I'm saying this spirit just said Yeah. There's such thing as too much of a good thing right. So it's not like you want to get 10 dogs in your home just to keep raising the vibration. That doesn't help it's not a magic pill or an excuse not to do your work on yourself. Does that make sense. But if you're talking about owning a pet or a few that you have the time to devote your love and energy to. That's awesome. That's fantastic. And that's definitely what we're talking about today.   [00:24:37] There have been so many studies done you know study after study continues to show that owning a pet lessens the symptoms of depression and anxiety. These studies show that our pets help us their owners to maintain a more positive optimistic perspective on life.   [00:24:57] And really what we're faced with what we're going through at any one particular time. Now part of this is energetic and we're going to get to that but this is also really chemical reactions that are going on within your body because when you spend time petting and cuddling your pets they found that it increases your levels of oxytocin oxytocin was nicknamed the love hormone because it calms your nervous system and relaxes you while also increasing your trust.   [00:25:28] Isn't that interesting Well what's also interesting is that oxytocin is not the only hormone that is impacted inside your body. When we cuddle with our pets and spend time with our pets it also lowers our cortisol levels which really is the stress hormone right. So they didn't experiment at the University of New York where they gave people a stressful assignment.   [00:25:56] Now some of the people that they tested had a pet with them and some did not and what they found was that people experienced lower levels of stress when they had a pet with them. Isn't that incredible.   [00:26:11] Spirit says our pets are like tuning forks in our homes. Animals tune the energy of our homes ourselves to a higher vibration a higher frequency.   [00:26:23] And it's not something we even really stop to think about. But the heart chakra opens more deeply and we feel more when we're around our cute furry little animals. They really do reach a place inside of us and nurture us in a way that is beyond measure in this lifetime.   [00:26:43] Many of my clients can attest to this at my house so I do do phone readings. I do Skype readings they do a lot of that but I have an office space on the main level of my home where I see clients for sessions throughout the week and often when a client starts crying or even before they start crying. My dog Lulu she'll run down and she'll want to get to that person Lulu herself will often start whining or crying until I let her come down and really hop on the lap of the person who's in tears. And again she also kind of does this sometimes before the person even begins crying. So there is something within the animals where they can sense the emotions that we're having. They can get to it faster sometimes than we can really on a conscious level.   [00:27:37] I like to think of our animals our pets as gifts from heaven gifts from our angels because it does seem to be that what they're doing here is helping us shift our energy that that is really part of their purpose here and at a fundamental at the most basic level of what they are their vibrational level they are functioning in a way that helps us shift our energy and this is how they're doing it they're doing it through our bodies chemically they can see our emotions they can sense and feel our emotions mainly before we can and they're there to to be our little loves.   [00:28:23] The other common question that my clients have about pets is where do they go when they pass away.   [00:28:31] Do our pets cross the rainbow bridge. Are they in animal heaven. Well like I talked about in the session with all our animals are with us on the other side. In my sessions when I work with pets in heaven they don't show me a rainbow bridge.   [00:28:47] They show me them transitioning over to the other side the same way that we do as human beings except they do skip the whole life review process. But the way we transition over is that our energy slowly trickles out of our body out of this realm over to the other side. I spirit just said the only visual they have is an hourglass. You remember an hourglass has a big bubble on the top and a big bubble on the other bottom side but it's connected by this little teeny tiny tunnel in between the middle of both bubbles and there's sand inside. So when you flip it over the sea and slowly goes from one side of the bubble to the other through the tunnel to the other side and that's the same way that our energy works and it passes from this lifetime to heaven on the other side it slowly goes from one side to the other. So I don't see a rainbow bridge. That's not to say that there isn't one. I just I really don't see it. And I also don't see an animal heaven wishes just a basic place where all of these animals are. When animals come through in a session they're at your home on the other side so you've probably heard me say this but there's a place on the other side where each of us has a home. I call it home base and that is where your animals are. They're there waiting for you and you really don't have to worry about who's taking care of them or how they're being taken care of because you gotta remember your soul is omnipresent just like God is omnipresent. So a part of your soul they sometimes you'll hear it called the higher self. It is on the other side.   [00:30:37] It is a lot of times at that place called home base and you're there on the other side taking care of your pets on the other side everybody is all together friends I know you have more questions about animals energy and how all of this works.   [00:30:56] So let's do this. Why don't you hop on over to Instagram and go to my page which is at Angel podcast and ask your questions over there. Ask all of your questions about pets. If you have a different question we'll get to that. You can do that too. And I'll do a second future episodes on pets based on all the questions that I get from you there on Instagram. Also don't forget to follow me over there so that you can stay up to date on all of our latest news. But before you go let's do this and want to do a quick visualization. Spirit is saying that everybody listening today really needs this. I do have to say if you're driving please turn this off now but if you're not working if you're not driving and you can really concentrate. I want you to do this for me.   [00:31:47] I want you to center yourself maybe just take a second stop. You can sit down in a chair you can be standing wherever you are and I just want you to take a deep breath and go as deep deep and as you can and exhale as deep as you can   [00:32:19] Now. Bring your attention to your heart to the energy inside your heart the energy surrounding your heart and really your heart chakra keep breathing but I want you to ask yourself what am I feeling   [00:32:50] Now if you're feeling happy joyful highs some I want you to stay here and I want you to go deeper into what brings you that happiness and that joy. And I want you to give thanks and show gratitude to God a universe source energy for bringing all of that to you. And just stay here in gratitude and thanks for all of those blessings that have been given to you while I talk to everyone else. For those of you who are feeling sadness anxiety overwhelm fear loneliness. I want you to ask yourself why am I feeling this way. Take two deep breaths and allow the answer to really come to you. I'll start talking again in one minute after you take this time to explore your feelings.   [00:33:45] Now keep breathing.   [00:34:06] Now I want you to keep breathing and I want you to ask yourself another question which is what do I need. Because what do you need. Do you need to take action. Do you need to say something or do something. Or is this one of those times where it's not your battle and there's nothing that needs to be done. You just need to feel the feelings and allow them to flow through you. Take another two breaths while you focus on that question what do I need and I'll be back in another minute to direct you on the next step.   [00:34:43] After this now hopefully you were able to tap in.   [00:35:02] And did you see how a little voice inside of you came to tell you the answer. It's not like you're hearing someone else's voice on the other side. You're listening for a thought for a picture that comes to your mind maybe a mini daydream that comes to your mind and you know that that little voice was God universe source energy.   [00:35:24] If it was only 100 percent positive. So what direction are you supposed to go. What action are you supposed to take. Are you willing to muster the strength and faith inside yourself to get you where you need to be. Because you can. I want you to know that I believe in you. Your angels your loved ones. God believes in you. We believe that you can take the positive steps and actions to get yourself where you need to be.   [00:36:00] And we're all standing here as your cheerleaders rooting you on because you can do this. You got this.   [00:36:09] And if no one else has told you yet today we need you to know how worthy you are your spiritual team needs you to know that you're enough. You are worthy. For no other reason than you are a piece of God at your core. You are made from the same material as God. You are cut from the same cloth. You are one with everything and you're connected to it all. And my dear dear friend I have to tell you there isn't anything that you can't do here.   [00:36:45] So no in your heart you've got this. OK.   [00:36:50] Now repeat after me I am worthy. I am enough I am a smart I am talented I am capable I can do this I can see myself in the future as if I've already done it and I can see that it went the way that I wanted it to go.   [00:37:32] Ok. Dear friends thank you so much for participating in that with me. Have a wonderful start to your week. E mail me if you have any questions. I love you. I'm here for you. Also tune back in this Friday because we've got a great episode of Angel stories.   [00:37:51] Yes. We have real life stories about angels and loved ones coming through and showing their presence validating so much in people's lives. It's definitely an episode that will make the hairs on your arms stand up so you don't want to miss it.   [00:38:09] And don't forget if you have a story that you want to share with us about your angels or your loved ones coming through we would all love to feature it on this pad cast. You can write it and I can read it for you. Or if you're willing we'd love to have you come on the show and really speak it yourself tell the stories yourself too so we would love for you to write in about those stories let us know and we will connect with you on that. OK. Join us over on Instagram. We're continuing the conversation over there and I am signing off now wishing you peace bliss and many many blessings   [00:38:59] Disclaimer this podcast provides general information and discussion about energy healing spiritual topics and related subjects the conversations and other content provided in this podcast and in any linked materials are not intended and should not be construed as medical psychological and or professional advice. If the listener or any other person has a medical concern he or she should consult with an appropriately licensed physician or other health care professional. Never make any medical or health related decision based in whole or even in part on anything contained in the angels in awakening podcast or in any of our linked materials. You should not rely on any information contained in this podcast and related materials and making medical health related or other decisions. You should consult a licensed physician or appropriately credentialed health care worker in your community in all matters relating to your health. If you think you may have a medical emergency call your doctor or nine one one immediately. Again Angel messages energy healing and the information you receive here does not constitute legal psychological medical business relationship or financial advice. Do not take any of the advice given and any angels in awakening podcasts or sessions in lieu of medical psychological legal financial or general professional advice. Please note angels in awakening is a podcast produced by Chicago energy healing a company with locations in Wheaton, Illinois and Naperville, Illinois.   KEY WORDS: God, Universe, Source, Spirit, Guardian Angel, Angel, Angel Message, Angel Messages, Angel Reader, Angel Readers, Angel Whisper, Angels, Anxiety, Archangel, Archangels, Arch Angel, Archangel Gabriel, Archangel Michael, Archangel Raphael, Ask Angels, Attraction, Law of Attraction, The Secret, Oprah, Super Soul Sunday, Soul Sunday, Aura, Aura Field, Author, Awakening, Being, Bliss, Bible, Bible Verse, Bliss and Grit, Buddhism, Catholic, Chakra, Chalene, the Chalene Show, Realitv, Change Your Life, Chicago, Naperville, Wheaton, Chicagoland, Christian, Christianity, Church, Pastor, Preacher, Priest, Co Create, cocreate, Consciousness, Spirit Guide, counselor, therapist, Dax Shepard, Death, Depression, Died, Grief, Divine, Doctor, Dream, Angel Therapy, Gabrielle Bernstein, Ego, Empath, Energy, Energy Healing, Enlightened, Zen, Enlightenment, Enneagram, Fabulous, Faith Hunter, Family, Feelings, Goal Digger, Jenna Kutcher, Ancient wisdom, Brandon Beachum, girl boss, badass, life coach, sivana, good, gratitude, great, school of greatness, greatness, the school of greatness, lewis howes, the Charlene show, rise podcast, Rachel Hollis, Tony Robbins, the Tony Robbins Podcast, guardian angels, guides, happy, happier, happiness, Hay House, summit, hayhouse, healed, healing, health, heart, heart math, heaven, help, high vibration, higher self, highest self, holy, I AM, illness, inner peace, inspiration, intention, intuitive, jewish, joy, Julia Treat, Julie Jancius, learn, lesson, light worker, Louise Hay, Love, Marriage, Magical, Manifest, Manifesting, Marie Kondo, Master Class, Meditate, Meditation, Medium, Mediumship, the Long Island Medium, the Hollywood Medium, Message, Metaphysics, ACIM, A Course In Miracles, Method, Mindful, Mindfulness, Miracles, Mom, Motherhood, Naturopath, New Age, Passed Away, Past Lives, Peace, Positive, Power, Pray, Prayer, Prosperity, Psychic, Psychic Medium, Psychology, Purpose, Quantum Physics, Life Purpose, Ray of Light, Reiki, Relax, Religion, Robcast, Sadness, Depression, Sahara Rose, School, Science, Shaman Durek, Shift, Sleep, Soul, Source, Spirit, Spirit Team, Spiritual, Spiritual Awakening, Spiritual Gifts, Spirituality, Stress, Synchronicity, Tara Williams, Tarot, Teacher, Thinking, Thoughts, Transcended State, Transcendence, Universe, Vibration, Vortex, Wellness, Worry, Worship, Yoga, Zen, Afterlife. Sounds True, Circle, A Course in Miracles, Marianne Williamson, near-death experience, spirit guides, awaken your inner, elevator, wild mystic, transformation church, 111, 11, 11:11, metaphysics, sacred living, divine beings, the sivana podcast, sivana, philosophy, millennial, millennials, mantra, buddah, hindu, vedanta and yoga, monk, the astrology hub, buddha at the gas pump, the unusual buddha, living open, the cosmic calling, rewilding for women, empowering women, shamanism, the deconstructionist, faith, joe and charlie, alcoholics anonymous, 12 step recovery, alanon, atheist, friendly atheist, hippie, new age, what's your sign, intuitives, healers, dream freedom, law of attraction secrets, marriagetoday audio podcast, marriage today, Ancient Wisdom, shaman, love and marriage, love & marriage, the examen with Fr. 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This week on Vodcast Soda, Mads n’ Michael sit down with Tristan Tales and talk everything social media. Tristan is best known for his Snapchat and Instagram “choose your own adventure” stories. Through social media Tristan was able to gain a huge following of over 1.5 million people. OH OK. We discuss the benefits but also the negative side of social media and what it’s like to carry influence. He touches on making money through posting and what he sees for the future of social media. Buckle up and enjoy because it may be one of our favorite episodes to date. LISTEN RESPONSIBLY!

In this episode, I am excited to have Tiffany Southerland on to talk about owning your past to better understand yourself and your future. Tiffany is a career confidence coach and speaker. She is the founder of Four Corners Coaching, where she helps ambitious professionals leverage their stories and strengths so they can maximize their career success. After practicing law, Tiffany transitioned to higher education and eventually back to a law firm in a recruiting role. She also hosts her own podcast and a local radio show focused on career development and diversity and inclusion.   Topics Covered Owning your story by accepting the good and the bad to develop an increased sense of self-awareness, and having a better platform to launch yourself into where you want to be. How she believes confidence is the best tool you can have in your professional toolbox to both make yourself feel more comfortable in stressful situations and help others feel comfortable around you. How her faith and spirituality has shaped her work and her podcast. Making career transitions, and knowing your value and values.   Sources Mentioned: Use http://bit.ly/10tiff to contact Tiffany and schedule a time to talk with her. Text "TiffSouth" to 444999 to get her free workbook "The Leverage List" Learn more and connect with Tiffany at: Linked In Instagram Four Corners Coaching     Questions? Comments? Email Jeena! hello@jeenacho.com. You can also connect with Jeena on Twitter: @Jeena_Cho For more information, visit: jeenacho.com Order The Anxious Lawyer book — Available in hardcover, Kindle and Audible Find Your Ease: Retreat for Lawyers I'm creating a retreat that will provide a perfect gift of relaxation and rejuvenation with an intimate group of lawyers. Interested? Please complete this form: https://jeena3.typeform.com/to/VXfIXq MINDFUL PAUSE: Bite-Sized Practices for Cultivating More Joy and Focus 31-day program. Spend just 6 minutes every day to practice mindfulness and meditation. Decrease stress/anxiety, increase focus and concentration. Interested? http://jeenacho.com/mindful-pause/ Transcript Tiffany Southerland: [00:00:03] In my own career journey, I recognized that there was a bit of a disconnect between where I ended up, and how I got there and why. I had to look back before I could figure out how I wanted to move forward. Intro: [00:00:18] Welcome to The Resilient Lawyer podcast. In this podcast, we have meaningful, in-depth conversations with lawyers, entrepreneurs, and change agents. We offer tools and strategies for creating a more joyful and satisfying life. And now your host, Jeena Cho. Jeena Cho: [00:00:40] Hello my friends, thanks for being with us today In this episode I have Tiffany Southerland. She Is a career confidence coach and speaker. She is a founder of Four Corners Coaching, where she helps ambitious professionals leverage their stories and strength so that they can maximize their career success. After practicing law, Tiffany's transition to higher education and eventually back to a law firm and a recruiting role she also hosts her own podcast. How does she do it in a local radio show focused on career development and diversity and inclusion. [00:01:14] Before we get into the interview, if you haven't listened to my last bonus episode. Go back and check it out. A shared a six minute guided meditation practice the like though of stress and anxiety. It's a preview for my course Mindful Pause and I know you've been hearing me talk about meditation and mindfulness and why it's so important. But really it is the best tool I found to manage stress and anxiety and also increase focus and productivity and so often lawyers ask me Well how much time do I need to dedicate this. And I said you know what just start with six minutes with two minutes if that's all you can fit into your schedule or six minutes of all the hours you dedicate to your clients and others don't you deserve to have at least one hour to yourself mindful pauses designed for boys like you to fit into your hectic schedule. Think of it like taking your daily by The to boost your well-being. Head on over to Jeena Cho dot com to learn more. Check it out in the show notes. And with that here's Stephanie Tiffany welcome to the show. Tiffany Southerland: [00:02:13] Thank you so much for having me Jane I'm very happy to be here. Jeena Cho: [00:02:16] So let's just jump right in and have you give us a 30 second introduction of who you are and what you do. Tiffany Southerland: [00:02:22] I like to say that I am a lawyer by training and a change agent at heart and I am a girl from Hempstead Long Island who really loves to help people be their best selves. I am the oldest of four children so that comes with this sort of protective desire to help you know kind of nurture and help people be their best and I love haribo gummy bears which is something that I like to mention to people it is the best brand of gummy bears ever. And I'm just really really excited and grateful to have this conversation with you today. Jeena Cho: [00:02:57] Wonderful it was. I didn't know that you are a long island. They're my parents. They'll live in Huntington and I grew up in Kuwait and said. Tiffany Southerland: [00:03:05] Look at that. Jeena Cho: [00:03:06] Surprised to find out we have this connection. Tiffany Southerland: [00:03:09] Yes. Jeena Cho: [00:03:09] So let's start by talking about owning your story. What does that mean in terms of lawyers specifically. And how do you help your clients find their own story. What does that process. Tiffany Southerland: [00:03:22] So I think owning your story is really about the way this is something that I and I developed this kind of this idea or this concept that it is only your story is not novel to me but in my own career journey I recognized that there was a bit of a disconnect between where I ended up and how I how I got there and and why and what I had to do when I started practice which you know kind of led me to actually leaving practice full time was I had to look back before I could figure out how I wanted to move forward and in order for you to do that. [00:04:00] It starts by you really taking ownership and acceptance of the things that you have been through the things that have contributed to who you are the things that have driven you and pushed you in a direction that maybe you didn't realize you even wanted to go and or that you don't actually want to go in. And then from there being able to then step back and say Okay now that I recognize these things about my past and my present how does that influence the way that I want to show up in my present and my future. [00:04:29] And so when you own your story you are accepting the the good and the bad that has helped shape you shape who you are developing an increased sense of self awareness working to heal working to be honest and authentic and then that really just helps open you up for so many more possibilities that that allow you to show up as a better professional and a better person generally. Jeena Cho: [00:04:52] Hmm thinking about working with boys and I can also say lawyers being like well why does that matter. You know I do transactional law that is out of me only my story. Help me be a better transactional lawyer. Tiffany Southerland: [00:05:05] So that's a great question. And I think what it helps you. What what I do. I do not believe that we operate and live in compartments although we are. We live in a society and in a world that tells us that there is our work self and that there is our home self. And while we are not the same way with our you know colleagues may be as the way we are with our best friends or with our you know our family and things like that. There is this disconnect between how we show up at work and who we are as people and that creates a tension and when you have to put on your work face and put on your work self and not be able to bring in parts of who you are you are you're not being your best self. [00:05:47] You may be a great transactional attorney but are you the best person to work with. Are you the best colleague. Are you even. Are are you joyful in the work that you do. And I think that there's this assumption that as attorneys who do you know very high level sophisticated work that you can't then also be you can't necessarily balance and be more of who you are and not be conservative and sort of buttoned up because this profession and this work is very serious and very high stakes. So I think it matters in the sense that you can bring more of who you are at work and it makes you a better colleague. It makes you better for your clients and it makes you happier and it makes you less exhausted because you're not putting on a front if you will for the sake of just being this work self. Jeena Cho: [00:06:35] Right. It kind of makes me think about that concept of cover saying where you feel like you can't bring all of yourself into your work environment or whatever it might be and now that's something I've been thinking more about recently because I am an immigrant. I came over from Korea when I was 10 years old and then I realized you know I spent so much of my teenage years and certainly my adult years of trying to race the fact that I am an immigrant. [00:07:04] I changed my name. I lost my accent and I worked really hard at it to try to appear mainstream more and are now just more normal or why. Then just more recently I had to be like Oh OK. But what were the pieces that I left behind. And how is that impacting me now and how is that impacting the way I show up for other people. And as I start to sort of reclaim all of those parts that I've you know hidden or left behind that it actually gave me just more of a sense of comfort and also just like feeling just more comfortable in my own skin and then sort of an interesting realization but yeah I'd totally just hear and feel what it is that you're talking about. Tiffany Southerland: [00:07:55] Absolutely. And I think what you mentioned is feeling more comfort comfortable in your own skin and when you're more comfortable in your own skin and can show up to work that way you are a more confident attorney. You are a more confident person. And what we know in this profession confidence is what is what is the thing that that draws people to you. It draws your it draws your colleagues to you to give you more an additional work. [00:08:23] It draws clients to you and it it just makes everyone else feel more comfortable because there's an assumption that comes with confidence competence the assumption of competence comes with confidence in this profession. And so when you are able to show up more full and that's that's what I help my clients do is if I can help you become more confident at your core and be clear about who you are as a person. We can figure out the career stuff that stuff will come. It's the it's though it's the personal stuff that we try to keep separate from our career. That often inhibits us in our in our development in our career. Jeena Cho: [00:08:57] And you know before we started this interview right sharing with me about how you sort of started opening your your own faith and how you actually started talking about that on your podcast so if you can just share with the audience you know how your own faith your own spirituality or religion has sort of shaped who you are and how you approach your work. Tiffany Southerland: [00:09:20] Absolutely. So when I started my podcast three years ago I started it as a really focused a lot on personal development and the frame of reference that I came from was I was this older millennial who felt like I'd gotten dropped into this professional world that school barely prepared before right. And so all of the different pressures and things that come with being an adult knowing how to balance your your finances and your physical health and your profession and your relationships all at the same time. I didn't feel like I had a good handle on that. And so started my podcast really with that kind of frame of reference in mind. [00:09:56] And over time I felt I felt myself growing in my faith. I am a Christian and so I felt that that was becoming a bigger part of my identity. But I kept I was holding it back in my conversations. And once I realized that it was it became difficult for me to talk fully and authentically in that particular vulnerable space without mentioning my faith. I I felt like I was being inauthentic and I felt like I had to to keep myself from you know sharing parts some things that were really important and things that I thought could be helpful to other people. And once I pulled that wall down once I let that fear go then I was able to draw and in an entirely new group of listeners to me. [00:10:40] And I think the lesson for everyone else there is that when you show up more fully as you are in a in an authentic and in a full in a whole way you will draw the people to you that are meant to be drawn to you you will help people in ways that you don't even realize just by simply being more of who you are and so that was that was really how that came through for me because it just became such a natural part of my conversation outside of the podcast. I couldn't I could not talk about it and even at work I don't you know I don't it's I'm obviously very measured about the way that I speak about my faith in the professional environment. But when I'm thinking about the principles that that my face it the reasons why I care about people and things like that those things are connected and so I can't encourage without that perspective in my mind at least. And so that's kind of the frame of reference that kind of keeps me grounded. Jeena Cho: [00:11:35] Was some other reason why you kept the wall up this year. Like go I'm going to turn people off. Tiffany Southerland: [00:11:41] That's a great question. I think I was worry that people would that I would come across as preachy if you will and this and there's something about being a Christian that. And it just is. It's observation and in society that sometimes it comes across as very harsh. It comes across as dogmatic. It comes across as alienating to people and that was my fear was that the exact opposite of what I wanted to do. And so what I recognized though is that my tendency is not to be that way anyway. And so by talking about my faith more I wouldn't automatically become somebody who I wasn't I would become more of who I actually was and I wouldn't Nessus I wouldn't turn people off by virtue of me talking about it in and of itself. It would be maybe that somebody might not be interested in hearing about it and so they would choose to. Jeena Cho: [00:12:25] Now yeah. And I love that that you can define it what that means for you. You know being able to incorporate your faith into the work that you do when you cannot really awesome model for other people what that looks like. I think you're right people do have you know ideas about what it means to be Christian and how especially if they're not Christian how other Christian people behave. And you can also help to maybe take down that stereotype and go Oh I am you know I thought that he meant that as she is showing me that it might actually mean something very different. So yeah I really love that. Tiffany Southerland: [00:13:05] Thank you. Exactly and I think it really is just a matter the way that I try to live my life through the way I engage in social media the way I show up at work is really around the idea that if you are more of who you are and if you can be whole in who you are than other things that you don't even expect will fall into place in ways that you just can't anticipate because we're too busy boxing ourselves into these compartments that we assume we need to be. And that's just not it's just not the case. Jeena Cho: [00:13:35] I'm well let's shift gears a little bit and talk about career transitions. Seems like I've been getting a lot of listener questions about changing careers or not even changing careers. More specifically I get a lot of questions around me. I think you kind of go through life and you check all the boxes right. You go to a school you pass the bar or you get a job you make partner or you buy the house with the white picket fence Yep two kids you have to the car in the garage but then all of a sudden you hit this wall and there's this feeling of like oh I have everything but I'm still just content I have everything but I am still so incredibly unhappy. [00:14:12] I was just talking to a lawyer recently and she said she literally sits in her garage everyday and cries before she goes into the house and she's like but I just don't like I don't even feel like I have a right to feel that way and it just feels so overwhelming to think that you know think that while I put so much work and so much effort to get to where I am and to think that I was all for nothing or all for not. So I know that's a huge bag of topics that I sort of threw out there but you know when someone comes to you when they're just in that state of like I just don't know. You know I got to the end of the rainbow and there's no pot of gold and all I see is just more misery and dread where someone who's in that situation. Tiffany Southerland: [00:15:00] Yeah that's a great question and I definitely have had that conversation many many times with some with them some of the clients that I work with. What it comes down to I start with how let's talk about how you got here because and this is a reflection my of my own career journey. I got to the desire to become an attorney by virtue of me seeing the power that was associated with the with being an attorney. Me also seeing that there is a security of of of of a financial future that came with being an attorney. [00:15:33] And so and I never wavered from that and I never explored anything else. And so when you're talking about kind of why people are unhappy where they are. We have to figure out what got them here first because when you deconstruct why they are where they are today you start to hear them talk about the things that they actually cared about or that they wanted you start to hear about the things that they feel gives them purpose and where that disconnect is why doesn't this job that you're in right now make it light you up. Why don't you feel that it's fulfilling or that you're living intentionally. [00:16:08] And they start to when you're just ask them questions about their journey they tell you answers to what those next they give you at least insights into what those next step might need to be. And it may not mean leaving the profession. It may not mean leaving your law firm it may be asking for some setting harder boundaries. It may be asking for permission to you know become a leader in a different type of way. It may mean making shifts in the way you show up at work every day and it may mean resolving some of the issues that keep you feeling guilty about being successful. [00:16:42] Because again that's it's not that the career the career is is really just it is kind of the surface part of it. We are people before we show up to work every day. We were people before you know where people as attorneys were not just attorneys. Right. And that's and saying just attorneys is not to diminish the profession but it is to say we are people who are attorneys. And so how do you service the whole person who's shows up as an attorney are a jobs are not our identities but we live in a society that makes our job our identity. I'm sure you have encountered you go to a professional networking events or what do you do. Where do you work. It's the way that we label and we attach value to people and if we can't attach value to ourselves outside of our work when our work isn't fulfilling us we will therefore feel like we have less value. Jeena Cho: [00:17:31] Hmm yeah that's some yeah that's Hanako's brings us back full circle to what we started talking about as we have to begin by owning our stories of where our journey has taken us so far. Step after you sort of figure out OK. This is my story. This is how I got to where I am but what's the next step. Tiffany Southerland: [00:17:54] The next step is to really think about well what do you care about what is important to you. Why do you like certain aspects of the work that you do. And what about certain aspects of your of your work is draining you. That was one of the questions that I was posed by one of my mentors when I first raised the concern that I'm I didn't think I wanted to practice in a law firm environment anymore. Was well figure out if it's though if it's right now or if it's the whole thing. Figure out if it's the project that you're on. If it's the season at work or if it's the entire kind of experience that you're having. [00:18:30] And so basically what you have to do is you have to really ask yourself some very very hard questions and figure out OK how why am I feeling the way that I'm feeling what at a certain point in the day when certain a certain person speaks to me. Why am I reacting the way that I'm reacting. And from there you can then start to say OK so maybe it's not that I don't want to be an attorney but maybe I don't want to practice in this environment anymore. Maybe it's this type of work that I'm doing. Maybe it's maybe it's a management issue. Right. It may actually be that it's there's a team issue with the work that in the way that you're currently working it could be. [00:19:04] So it really is. You have to ask yourself a bunch of questions that really get to okay the here and now and then from there depending on what those answers are. Now we have to figure out OK how do we get how do we get from here to where we hope to be that in a place that will make us feel more whole. And what strategies do we have to figure out to make those to make that leap. And those are you know those strategies can come in a hundred different types of ways but it's really assessing the here and now and then kind of reverse engineering your way into a strategy to move onto the next step. Jeena Cho: [00:19:39] So I'm going to shift gears a little bit and talk about values. How I want us to start. You know what. What does that even mean. You say knowing your values and honoring them when does that mean. Tiffany Southerland: [00:19:53] So I use I always think about values in two senses. Knowing your value as a person and as an individual and the things that you were uniquely gifted with that make you that makes you you based on your experiences based on the things that come most natural to you the things that you really enjoy. And when it comes to your values does is it important for you to have flexibility so that you can stay in work at home every day. Is it important for you to work in an organization that is dedicated to servicing the community in a certain way. Is it important for you to to make sure that you have time with your family by a certain time every day. [00:20:34] Is it is being able to come to work in jeans every everyday or versus the business professional right. What are the things that you know that really are really really important to you that you find may be at odds with or are affirmed by the current space that you're working in. So you really have to. Again it's this is all about self-awareness as it comes. This all of this the conversation that we're having really revolves around having a very heightened self sense of self awareness because then you you will unequivocally know what's important to you and then be able to figure out if your work and your career aligns or is not aligned with those things. Jeena Cho: [00:21:14] How do you go about figuring out what your values are. Is it just like something you sit around and think about it. Tiffany Southerland: [00:21:22] I think you know you have to pay attention to to what you how you spend your time. Pay attention to where your where your energy is is fullfil is kind of refilled or drained. And pay attention to how you talk. Pay attention to the things that you say and ask and ask people when you talk to people who know you best when you see me and when you what do you think. What do you think is really important to me based on what you know about me. And then kind of check in and say you know what if that person thinks that that's really important to me and that sounds crazy to me then you know I need to figure out what I'm putting out there that makes it seem like that's what's really important to me. [00:22:01] So it's not just you know kind of sitting around thinking about it but really being active in your and being active and present in your everyday existence and seeing where there's where there's synergy and where there's disconnect for example when I knew that was something that was really important to me was being able to physically interact with people and help change individual people right and to be able to help develop people on a really individual level that's something that's really important to me and really almost I want to say it's central to my identity which is why the shift that I made when I first made it out out of out of litigation practice really helped kind of fulfill that and helped me explore that more. But that was only something that I recognized when I sat down and said well why am I so unhappy right now. And when do I get really really excited when someone comes to my office with an individual problem and I don't I'm not happy that person has a problem but I'm really excited that I am helping them find an answer to that problem. Jeena Cho: [00:23:00] Tiffany for the listeners out there that want to learn more about you and your work. What's the best place for them to go into that. Tiffany Southerland: [00:23:07] You can connect with me on LinkedIn. You can search Tiffany Southerlyn that's Tiffany with two F's and o u you you can connect with me on the at Four Corners coaching that com and that's the number four spelled out EFO you are. And you can also connect with me on on I'm on Instagram. I don't know if your listeners are big on instagram but I'm at TIFF south on Instagram as well and that's tiff with two s. So anytime you search for Tiffany with two F's and s o u t h you can find me online. You can find me on social media. Jeena Cho: [00:23:39] Fantastic. The lesson is that I like. I think I kind of want to work with her or just have a chat with her. How did they go about scheduling a better time. Chali. Tiffany Southerland: [00:23:48] If you go to B T dot l y slash 10. Tiff and that's the number 10 and that's tiff again with two F's again. L y slash 10. Tiff and TIFF were two F's. You will be able to connect with me there and I also want to offer your listeners a lot of what we talked about today was you know how do you reflect on where you've been. How do you reflect on what you've done. [00:24:12] I've created a workbook that is really designed to help you reflect on the experience that you've had over the course of your career so that you can documented and really be prepared to understand how you how you can improve and how you can position yourself for different opportunities so if you text tiff south and that's tiff with two EFFs 2 4 4 4 9 9 9 you'll be able to get that workbook and you will be able to connect from there and you'll really get a good idea. It's called the leverage list workbook and you'll really be able to get a good idea of how you can progress and really what you've done. Because we often discount our experience in favor of you know thinking that everybody can do this but we are unique and wonderfully made individuals that allow us to show up in ways that nobody else can because you are you for a very specific reason. Jeena Cho: [00:25:04] I love it and if you're driving you're like wait what did she say. You can just check it out at the show to all the information will be available in the show. Now it's said Tiffany before I let you go. One final question. The name of this podcast is called The Resilient Lawyer. What does it mean to be a The Resilient Lawyer to you. Tiffany Southerland: [00:25:22] It means to show up whole and be confident in doing so knowing that you showing uphold you showing up as authentically you will encourage other people to do the same and it will help make you a better professional and a better attorney and a better person by doing so. Jeena Cho: [00:25:41] Tiffany, thank you so much for being with me today. I really appreciate it. Tiffany Southerland: [00:25:44] Thank you so much for having me Jeena. Closing: [00:25:47] Thanks for joining us on The Resilient Lawyer podcast. If you've enjoyed the show, please tell a friend. It's really the best way to grow the show. To leave us a review on iTunes, search for The Resilient Lawyer and give us your honest feedback. It goes a long way to help with our visibility when you do that, so we really appreciate it. As always, we'd love to hear from you. E-mail us that smile@theanxiouslawyer.com. Thanks, and look forward to seeing you next week.

Rockstar ruins the Otev veto comp not once, but twice. Angela still is spoiled and has dead eyes. Erik and Maya contemplate life in a post-young-hot-people world. Big Brother ceases to have meaning. Nothing means anything. Erik split his pants open today. Goodbye, cruel world. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/bbfancast/message

Today I'm talking with KariAnne Wood from the blog, Thistlewood Farms. KariAnne is a DIY and interior design blogger, but really she's an excellent storyteller. In this episode we explore how starting a blog can lead to multiple book deals. We delve into how KariAnne started her blog out a feeling of loneliness and then built it into a booming business! Her blog lead her to a huge publishing career. But what most impressed me most about KariAnne is how she's built such a deep connection with her community, and it's all been through authenticity. And wait until you hear her stories! Resources: Thistlewood Farms So Close to Amazing (book) The DIY Home Planner (book) You've Got This (Because God's Got You) (book) MiloTree Some of these links may be affiliate, meaning at no cost to you, I may make a commission. Transcript: How Starting a Blog Can Lead to Multiple Book Deals With KariAnne Wood Host: [00:00:03] Welcome to the Blogger Genius Podcast, brought to you by MiloTree. Here's your host, Jillian Leslie. Jillian: [00:00:10] Hello everyone. Welcome back to the Blogger Genius Podcast. Today, my guest is KariAnne Wood who is the founder and CEO of Thistlewood Farms. She is a lifestyle blogger, author, and speaker. So welcome to the show, KariAnne. KariAnne: [00:00:30] Thank you so much, I'm so glad to be here. Jillian: [00:00:33] So we were just talking about a whole host of things, the main thing I am curious about is, first of all, how you started your blog and how you ended up moving back into your childhood home? KariAnne: [00:00:49] Well, the blog kind of began out of necessity about 10 years ago, we were living in the Dallas Fort Worth Metroplex in McKinney, Texas, which is a very busy metropolitan area. KariAnne: [00:01:01] My husband and I, we were just tired of all the busy, and tired of the rat race and we wanted an adventure. So we gathered our four children up and we move to the middle of nowhere in Kentucky. KariAnne: [00:01:14] It was actually the suburb of a 500 person town. Cows were our neighbors. Target was crossing state lines. There were no stoplights in our entire county. And there I was in the middle of this rural paradise and I was lonely. KariAnne: [00:01:34] I wanted to really reach out and find a community of like-minded people that love to decorate and share their heart. And so I started a blog called, Thistlewood Farms. Jillian: [00:01:44] So wait, OK, so you move out there. You're living the dream and you're lonely. How do you feel? Like oh my God, we made the biggest mistake of our lives? KariAnne: [00:01:53] Well, everyone else, my four kids were like having the time of their lives. My husband was extraordinarily happy because we bought a business, and he was all consumed with the growing of the business and everybody was so happy except me. KariAnne: [00:02:07] And part of the reason why I was lonely is because we moved to an area where everybody was related. They came over on the Mayflower together, and they were all together and it was really hard to make friends and I definitely made some amazing friends. Building a blog to find a community KariAnne: [00:02:22] I'm not going to act like I was all by myself, but I just wanted people that had similar interests to me. And so that's really how the blog was born, kind of out of just looking for community. Jillian: [00:02:34] Interesting. And have you always had a designer's eye? Have you always been creative? KariAnne: [00:02:40] 100 percent. Like when I was younger, I had Barbie houses and I was like, forget about the Barbies, because I would just decorate their houses and then kind of plop them in. So yeah, I've always loved to decorate and I've always kind of been a very creative person. Jillian: [00:02:57] Now were you a professional decorator back in Texas? KariAnne: [00:03:01] No, I'm actually a decorator from the School of Hard Knocks. I say in all my books, I made every decorating mistake in the entire world. And so I went before everybody and made them all so I could save people from them, from making mistakes that I made along the way. Jillian: [00:03:21] That is that is terrific. OK. I have to just confess we are moving from Palo Alto to Austin over the summer. So if anybody, by the way, has been listening to this and is in the Austin area, please reach out because again I'm looking for friends, but I am now thinking about decorating and so I have a whole new interest, so tell me the biggest mistake people make. Design advice from a style blogger KariAnne: [00:03:44] Oh I think the biggest mistake that people made is following trends like looking online and finding something that looks very trendy, or someone is telling them this is the way to decorate and they go that route and it's not really them and it doesn't fit. KariAnne: [00:04:01] It's like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. And I'm always like, just go with what you like. Like if the current trend right now is all neutral and you love hot pink carpeting, you go for it. Embrace that and live that because that's how you are going to make your home truly one that you love, is by embracing what is truly you. Jillian: [00:04:21] OK here's one question, I go on to Pinterest. Let's say I type in kitchen remodels and they all look, they're gorgeous but they all look the same. KariAnne: [00:04:32] I know right. Jillian: [00:04:35] I feel like I'm being biased by the fact that I need a farmhouse kitchen with a big white sink and white cabinetry and you know like some bar stools and I feel like I love that now but I can't tell if I really love it, or if I'm being brainwashed into loving it. And if in six months everybody is going to be doing something else. KariAnne: [00:05:01] I am kind of with you in that you're second guessing yourself but I am a big fan of keeping your design, big design, expensive design choices neutral. Jillian: [00:05:13] OK. KariAnne: [00:05:14] In other words. So when you're looking at your kitchen I think keeping your cabinets relatively neutral, whether it's a white or it's a gray. KariAnne: [00:05:21] I think keeping those relatively neutral keeping your countertops relatively neutral and if you love color you can do that in other ways. So you have your big ticket items in your kitchen and those are all relatively neutral. KariAnne: [00:05:34] And then you're like you know what, there's too much neutral. You can always pop it out with like textiles in the room or you could pop it out with beautiful floral arrangements or adding in greenery or just baskets and different fun things in the space to liven it up so that you're not going the complete farmhouse route. KariAnne: [00:05:52] However, if you get in there and you love the neutral, go with it! Not just because people are telling you. Decorate with your heart, like look in that space and say, "Is this space something I want to sit across the Thanksgiving table from?""Is this a space I want to live in every single day?" If it is, go with it. Jillian: [00:06:10] OK. But I just feel like somebody is going to walk in, like in five years somebody is going to walk into my house and go oh my God, it's so 2018. KariAnne: [00:06:19] You know what, there is a chance they might do that, but that's why I think sometimes just making small changes along the way is good. KariAnne: [00:06:28] For example, I'll just give you a little story for me, I was all about neutrals. I mean my farmhouse, if you look at it it was all neutrals all into that. And then we purchased this home the home I grew up in. KariAnne: [00:06:43] And all of a sudden it's like I'm feeling like it needs color, like I went with a neutral look and now I'm going back and adding in color, pops of color, just because it's what the house needs. And so what worked at that farmhouse, is not necessarily working in this house. Jillian: [00:06:59] OK so now we can get off of my own little design issues and get back to your story. KariAnne: [00:07:06] You could always message me if you have questions. Jillian: [00:07:08] OK I'm serious because I love your aesthetic and I feel like I'm kind of flailing except for Pinterest and everything looks the same. Jillian: [00:07:15] So all right, so you move out to Kentucky. You're in the middle of nowhere, you're lonely. You want community, you start this blog. KariAnne: [00:07:24] Yes. And I had no idea of the world of blogging I had no idea people made money off of it. I had no concept of that. I was just doing it to join a community. What are the business opportunities that come from blogging? KariAnne: [00:07:33] And along the way these incredible business opportunities presented themselves and I kind of put on my marketing hat and I started marketing the blog. Jillian: [00:07:41] So wait, explain, what are these tremendous business opportunities? KariAnne: [00:07:44] Well along the way I have worked with, like for example, last year I worked with 53 different brands. Jillian: [00:07:51] Okay. KariAnne: [00:07:52] And so anyone from Wayfair to Sherwin-Williams to Frogtape and I work with them in a variety of different ways with different collaborations. Some I'm working on photography with them. Jillian: [00:08:08] What do you mean you're working on photography with them? KariAnne: [00:08:11] Like for example they would send me products and I photograph the products in my home and then they use it in their social media. How to collaborate with brands as a blogger Jillian: [00:08:16] So it's not you're not posting, you're like a paid photographer. KariAnne: [00:08:21] Well sometimes, it depends on the collaboration. Every collaboration is different. Some collaborations they send me the product, I post about it. I show how I've decorated my home on my blog. And then I give them the assets the photography assets to use on their own social. KariAnne: [00:08:35] Sometimes I'm literally just taking pictures of the product at my home for them to use on their own social or on their web site or in a blog post. Jillian: [00:08:45] And do they tag you? Do people know this is you or in that respect you're like a gun for hire with a beautiful home and a great taste? KariAnne: [00:08:57] It depends. Most of the time if they're using my images it would be written into the contract that they would tag me because I own the rights to those photographs. I mean depending on the contract and what's negotiated. But yeah they for sure would tag me. Jillian: [00:09:11] Okay. Got it. So you're a blogger, brands are I guess reaching out to you? KariAnne: [00:09:18] Yes. Well it's a little bit of both. I think when you're a blogger you know I'm the Queen of Hustles so I'm always like "Who did I work with last year? Let me approach them and see if they're interested in a new collaboration." or a lot of times brands do reach out to me. KariAnne: [00:09:31] I mean, probably one of my best tips as a blogger is a lot of times with a brand, I'll work with their PR agency. And that PR agency may have another client besides the client that I'm working with. KariAnne: [00:09:44] And I will say to the PR agency, "hey I've got this Bathroom remodel coming up, hey I've got this kitchen remodel, hey I'm redoing my front room. Do you have any clients that are a good fit for that?" And some of my best collaborations I've gotten because I worked the PR contacts that I already had. Jillian: [00:10:01] Got it. And then you end up hopefully getting free product. KariAnne: [00:10:06] Yes. Again each collaboration with a brand is different. I mean sometimes I'm using products that they send to me, sometimes I'm designing an inspiration board for them. I mean each collaboration looks different but typically it does involve some sort of pre product. Jillian: [00:10:23] Got it. Okay. So I mean, that's always a way for you. Lifestyle bloggers style bloggers DIY bloggers. Isn't that a nice way to reach out to a brand and say "I'm redoing my kitchen" like reaching out to say Whirlpool or something like that, how would you do that? KariAnne: [00:10:46] If I was going to go through a major remodel. I know I have kind of a long time ago when I first started blogging, one of the promises I made to myself, kind of one of the guidelines that built my business on is I never put anything in my home just to blog about it because then it's not authentic. And the readers know that. KariAnne: [00:11:05] So I there's many collaborations that I've turned down just because they're not a fit for my brand. It's not something that would work in my house. KariAnne: [00:11:14] Back when I was all neutral all the time. I mean if if a company that had a very colorful aesthetic with like super cool graphic prints and things like that that might not necessarily work in my space then that's probably not a company that I would have worked with. How to reach out to brands as a blogger KariAnne: [00:11:29] So a long time ago just set that forth. So if I was going, let's say I'm doing a kitchen remodel and I worked with a tile company in the past I've worked with a countertop company in the past typically I would reach out to them. KariAnne: [00:11:43] I have a pretty extensive network of contacts now because I've been doing this for 6 years. I would reach out to them say, "hey this is what I'm doing, is this a fit with your marketing budget? Is this something that you might be interested in?" KariAnne: [00:11:55] And sometimes it's a fit and sometimes not so much and sometimes the parameters that they would have, you'd have to wait a couple of months and I need the tile right then and probably that might not be a good fit or I need a countertop right then and it might not be a good fit. KariAnne: [00:12:10] But typically you're reaching out to the brands and saying here's my project can you come alongside me and partner with me. Jillian: [00:12:18] That's great. So let's say you're doing a kitchen remodel. How many brands would you want to partner with you with your kitchen? KariAnne: [00:12:25] I think it depends on the extent of what you're doing and kind of who you have in contacts and what would be a good fit. KariAnne: [00:12:33] So for example in my kitchen that I just redid I chose to reuse existing cabinets that we already had rather than reaching out to a cabinet brand. KariAnne: [00:12:44] Just because I already had the cabinets and I'm kind of frugal girl. And so it made more of a fit to do a post and show the readers hey look these were cabinets from another area of the house that we just repurposed added molding to and kind of redesign them to look like brand new cabinets for the kitchen. KariAnne: [00:13:02] So I think that totally depends on the scope of your project and what you need for that project. Jillian: [00:13:09] Got it. OK so let's let's go back to your story. So you're living in Kentucky and then all of a sudden you end up, because of family illness right? You end up moving back home. KariAnne: [00:13:26] Yes. We had some illness come up in our family that was it's a little bit overwhelming and so they just needed us. I mean it was kind of like step up time. KariAnne: [00:13:36] And so we knew that it was they just needed us and we needed to be home so I said to my husband oh my gosh if there's any way we could get back the family home that would be totally amazing. KariAnne: [00:13:49] My mom had sold it about five years ago to a wonderful couple. And I called her up one day and said hey you don't really know me. I'm KariAnne, and I used to live in your house. I would love to buy it. Is there any chance that you would sell it to me? And she was like wait, KariAnne, do you write a blog? Jillian: [00:14:10] No way! KariAnne: [00:14:14] So yeah, she totally read the blog. She's amazing girl like oh my gosh super amazing girl and she said actually yes we would totally sell it to you. KariAnne: [00:14:24] They had some circumstances in their lives where they were actually it wasn't on the market or anything but amazing timing. And so yeah we bought it from them and just never even went on the market. Jillian: [00:14:36] Oh my God. Well first of all I have to say I've been boggling your name by calling you KariAnne. And it's KariAnne. KariAnne: [00:14:43] Oh no worries. Jillian: [00:14:44] OK. But that is amazing so, a couple of things. How did you feel leaving your house in Kentucky that you had then remodeled? KariAnne: [00:14:52] I was literally, they were like prying my fingers off of the front porch pillar. I was in an emotional relationship. Jillian: [00:15:01] Really. OK. KariAnne: [00:15:03] Now it helps it helps that this house is so amazing like that helped in that, you know I've lived a lifetime in this house. I don't know if I would have traded it for any other house but this house. But I did love that farmhouse. Oh my gosh it was one of a kind. Jillian: [00:15:18] And I recommend people go to your blog because you have photos of both your current house and your old house. Like definitely check it out. It's gorgeous. KariAnne: [00:15:27] Thank you so much. It's a labor of love. Both of them. Jillian: [00:15:31] OK so how long ago did you move home? KariAnne: [00:15:35] Thanksgiving. Jillian: [00:15:36] Oh OK. So relatively recently. KariAnne: [00:15:38] Yes. Very very recently and so we've kind of been in a mad dash to really remodel this house because when you're a blogger you know I need places to photograph and I need rooms that look cute. KariAnne: [00:15:51] And I actually wrote a post on my blog that said every day I wake up and I try to make the house cuter than it was yesterday. Like that's my goal. KariAnne: [00:16:04] So today, either I'm going to add pillows or I'm going to paint something or I'm going to switch a bookcase around or do something so it just made me feel so much better and miss my old house less every day. I took a small step to making it cuter than it was the day before so it's a process. Jillian: [00:16:23] And how is the cuteness factor now? KariAnne: [00:16:25] It's getting there. I mean it needs so much work. Like in my mind I can see it all done. I feel like I'm running a design marathon like, "I'm coming, don't worry house I'll show up you'll be cute soon!" It's getting there, it's getting there. Jillian: [00:16:44] I love your use of the word cute for your stuff. It's so sweet. I mean again life is all about change and uncertainty. But at least you can control the cuteness. KariAnne: [00:16:54] That is so true. The best story ever of the house, this is literally the best story. So when my mom sold it, I was of course emotionally attached to this house too. And so my mom said "I'm selling it" my father passes away and my mom it's just too much house for her. So she had to sell it. KariAnne: [00:17:09] So she goes to sell the house and I go on like a farewell tour of the rooms like "bye dining room, having Thanksgiving was so awesome" and like "bye staircase where I said hello to Santa Claus" and like "bye kitchen where I met my husband" you know like "go have a nice life". KariAnne: [00:17:24] And as I'm literally about to head out the back door there is this bathroom with a mirror. And it's this giant ornate antique mirror not even my style or anything. And I look at that mirror and I had stood in front of that mirror in my wedding dress. KariAnne: [00:17:40] I had waited for my husband put my lipstick on before our first date in front of that mirror, and something just comes over me and I literally grab the mirror and I run out of the door with it like I'm like throwing in my car driving back to Kentucky. KariAnne: [00:17:55] And when we bought the house back I brought back that mirror and I put it right back where it was. Oh and an even better ending to the story is I have little twins that are in ninth grade and they just went to their first dance and they were standing in front of the mirror putting on their lipstick. Jillian: [00:18:16] Oh. Oh. KariAnne: [00:18:19] I know! Dude, I'm like full circle. Jillian: [00:18:21] Oh that's so sweet. Wow great story. Great story. OK. So now the one thing I want to talk about is books because you are an author you've written how many books? How to get a book deal as a blogger KariAnne: [00:18:37] I have. There's five books in all. Two are on the market currently. Another one is releasing September of 2018 and then there's another full color coffee table book that releases in March of next year (2019). And then one more after that. Jillian: [00:18:58] So based on interviews I've done in the past on this podcast with people who've written books most people say "I write books because it's a labor of love". "I write books because it puts my brand out there and establishes me as an expert. But books are not moneymakers. Books are a way to launch myself". Jillian: [00:19:21] And when we were talking you said well that's not exactly been true for me that I've actually made money from my books. KariAnne: [00:19:27] Yes 100 percent. I think probably the most important component is, when you're looking at publishing a book there are many different routes. KariAnne: [00:19:38] There is of course self publishing where you would publish it yourself and you put out all the money upfront and then you sell publish and sell it and market it yourself. KariAnne: [00:19:49] Then there is kind of like a hybrid where you have a company that publishes the book for you and then they provide you with copies and then you purchase them at a discounted rate and then you sell them and they maybe help a little with marketing but not that much. KariAnne: [00:20:04] And the route that I went which is the one I recommend is traditional publishing. Is working with traditional publishing house and I have been so fortunate to work with two incredible publishers that will ever and forever have my heart. KariAnne: [00:20:22] And the reason why I went that route and probably my best advice for anyone looking to publish a book or thinking about publishing a book is number one: I think it's so important that you build a platform because when you're going to that publisher and you have a message that you're going to get out there to the world, you want to come alongside that publisher you want to talk with the publisher about how your going to help the publisher sell the book. KariAnne: [00:20:51] You are going to help the publisher markets a book. Because just I think traditionally in the past sometimes you know authors they would send the manuscript to the publisher and then they would kind of sit back and wait for the publisher to do all the work. KariAnne: [00:21:05] Or in the case of self publishing, I mean they would probably do a huge majority of the work themselves but it would be so expensive to put all that money up front to get your book published to design your cover and all the all of that stuff. KariAnne: [00:21:18] So my best advice would be to start with your platform. Work on developing your platform work on developing your message work on developing your print your brand. So when you go into meetings with that publishing house you can say "hey this is what I'm bringing to the table". KariAnne: [00:21:35] My second piece of advice would be to get an agent. I have the most incredible agent. So fortuitous to find her and she has just really been the world to me. KariAnne: [00:21:49] The agent kind of knows the ins and out of the publishing world and they give you great advice and they know which publishing houses. I mean they make recommendations they make contacts for you at publishing houses. How to develop your platform as a blogger KariAnne: [00:22:01] And really those two things work on you're developing a platform. You bring something to the table don't just go to the publishing house and expect them to do all the work you show up. Jillian: [00:22:12] OK. All right so let's unpack this a little bit. OK. You start your blog. You start working on your platform which means your email list your social media. You know growing those platforms. KariAnne: [00:22:32] I think it's more than when I say build a platform. I think that numbers are very important. I mean obviously if I'm coming to you and I say I have X amount of people on Facebook or X amount of people on Instagram you know I think that's definitely important. KariAnne: [00:22:47] But I think the key components that so many of us miss in this world of blogging and social media and platforms is the influence is the influence factor. So I always tell people if you gave me a thousand loyal readers I could rule the world. How to find one thousand true fans as a blogger KariAnne: [00:23:05] And when I say that, I mean a thousand people that want what I have, that want to hear my message, that show up every day and they stand up and they're counted. KariAnne: [00:23:15] So when I was looking at developing my brand and developing my platform those were the people that I was looking for. When I was growing my blog I treated those people like they were my customers. KariAnne: [00:23:28] So if they had a decorating question, I didn't charge them for decorating advice. I really gave it. I spent hours putting together ways to help them or answer anybody's question they sent me. KariAnne: [00:23:39] I think I have a thing on my blog where I say "calling all questions" this is an unlimited question policy here at Thistlewood Farms, because those readers are the customers. KariAnne: [00:23:48] And I think people overlook that they just put messages out there and expect, "I wonder why no one's reading me," or "Wonder why no one is responding to me?" KariAnne: [00:23:56] It's because they are not in a relationship with those readers. They are not treating those readers with the respect that they deserve. And so I went out of my way to build that sort of platform. Jillian: [00:24:07] I think that is terrific in fact if you read my emails you see that I have actually sent out I think two e-mails about this concept of a thousand true fans. If you have a thousand true fans you can build a business. Jillian: [00:24:23] You do not need millions of fans. You need true evangelists. People who love you, believe in you, will buy from you. That's what you need for a business. I think that is just terrific advice. KariAnne: [00:24:37] Well, and so what I did was so, for example, and this applies not only in the publishing world but it applies and in the brand world as well. So I'll just give you one example, when I was looking to paint my house a color I went to my fans and I went to the people that read the blog and I said "What color would you paint the house?" KariAnne: [00:24:55] I gave them six options and we had over 700 people chime in. Not for a prize, not because we were giving anything away just because they wanted to be helpful. They wanted to show up and represent. KariAnne: [00:25:08] So I was able to go back to that brand and say, look 700 people are invested in what color I paint. Jillian: [00:25:15] Wow. Wow. KariAnne: [00:25:16] And I think that is the key component. So when you're talking to publishing houses, I mean that same applies in working with brands as well. You're saying to them I'm an influencer. I have the ability to influence people's buying decisions and I think that is a key component that is so overlooked when you're dealing with anyone. Jillian: [00:25:39] What's interesting is when we first started talking, you said start with your platform. And I said oh you know social media, email list and you're like, "No no no wait," I thought you were going to say really clarify your message. But that's not what you said. ADVICE: Be authentic as a blogger Jillian: [00:25:56] You said be authentic, be available. Really, you focused it on your fans not on your business and what your message was. Which I think is a really interesting differentiator. KariAnne: [00:26:11] Well I definitely think the message is important. When I counsel people on how to start a business or how to start a blog I always tell them, start as you go, like don't don't pull the rug out from under your readers. KariAnne: [00:26:24] In other words don't be all this direction and then all of sudden change midstream and like one day you're positive, full of energy and the next day you're complaining, you know. KariAnne: [00:26:33] Start as you go, develop that message, be true to who you are. But I do feel like if you're authentic and you are all about the people that are reading your blog, or participating in your business, the message authentically comes out. Jillian: [00:26:49] I agree. I agree. Again I think that the focus on your audience your community is really powerful. KariAnne: [00:26:58] I mean I literally was in tears when my first book was released and it was a best seller and it was on Amazon. You know at the top of the list and it had like the best seller tag on it. KariAnne: [00:27:12] People were screen shotting it and sending it to me and I was weeping because all of these people they weren't just celebrating the book. They were coming along for the journey. They're like "how can we help you get your message out there?" KariAnne: [00:27:30] And so it was as if you sat down with a thousand of your best friends and they're like, dude how can we help you? Jillian: [00:27:37] Wow. KariAnne: [00:27:38] "You've helped us all these years, how can we help you?" And I have never felt so humbled and so grateful and so appreciative and in my whole life than during that first book release. Jillian: [00:27:48] So let's look at that. You're making me tear up here. KariAnne: [00:27:53] I love it. Jillian: [00:27:54] So let's talk about this. So from the beginning you are cultivating this community that you care deeply about and that therefore in turn cares deeply about you. Jillian: [00:28:05] So you say to yourself, I want to write a book. And then what? How do you get an agent? How do you pitch yourself to publishers? How do you tell that publisher, "I've got these diehard fans?" KariAnne: [00:28:18] I think before we unpack that, I think an important component here is and this is something I try to explain this to people, I wish I could tell you I was a super incredibly brilliant person that sat down with this totally mapped out plan to get to the book. But it was so organically grown. KariAnne: [00:28:36] So I start a blog. I'm writing about decorating and actually I'm writing about nothing. I'm kind of writing about my toes sometimes like I mean a very lame messaging going on. KariAnne: [00:28:48] One day I remember I wrote a post "Don't you think I have very long toes?" and people were like "you do have long toes!" and so I had to hone my message a little bit. KariAnne: [00:28:57] But over time what happened was one day I told a story about something just because I'm kind of a storyteller. But I'm a decorating blog so I was like, How am I going to incorporate these stories? Do people even care about stories like this even a thing? And no one else was telling stories. KariAnne: [00:29:15] And so I told a story on my blog and the response was incredible. People were like oh my gosh like this is crazy. Tell more stories. What else are you doing? What other funny story you have? What else is going on in your life? Write a blog you want to read KariAnne: [00:29:27] And then the blog became kind of this hybrid of I would talk to you and show you these beautiful decorating pictures and then randomly tell you a story about how I stepped in dog poop and it was just like organically grown because it was a kind of blog that I wanted to read. KariAnne: [00:29:43] I didn't want to read a blog that said here are my curtains. Here's my rug. I wanted to write. I wanted a little meat. I wanted something interesting to go along with my curtains. KariAnne: [00:29:56] And so that's how the stories were kind of born. So I mean I think in the back of my mind I always had a dream about writing a book but it wasn't until this story started really taking off and I saw that that amazing wonderful community of people that read the blog really responded to the stories. KariAnne: [00:30:12] It's like the decorating brought them to the blog and the lifestyle brought them to their blog. Jillian: [00:30:17] And the beautiful photos and aspiration tips and I get it. But there is more. There is you! KariAnne: [00:30:24] But then you show up and I'm like hey take a seat in my living room and let me tell you let me entertain you. Jillian: [00:30:30] Right. KariAnne: [00:30:32] Let me tell you how I'm sliding down a hill after I spoke at a conference and ended up with mud all over my butt. You know, let me entertain you with my life, like these real actual things that happen to me every day of my life. KariAnne: [00:30:44] And so it really that was the combination that people really responded to, and so I thought maybe I could write a book. But I didn't know how to go about it. KariAnne: [00:30:53] So I did a little bit of research and actually reached out to some friends of mine and one of my friends was in the process of writing a book and I said, "How did you get started?" KariAnne: [00:31:01] She said the first thing is you want to find an agent. And so she gave me a bunch of different literary agencies and I wrote the most incredible pitch letter ever. Jillian: [00:31:12] OK. KariAnne: [00:31:14] It was quite entertaining. And I sent it out to these agencies to see if anybody would take a bite because this is an unknown world to me, this is something that is very different. I'm so thankful an amazing agency picked me up and I met my agent and really she kind of mapped everything out. KariAnne: [00:31:33] She was really instrumental because I didn't know where to start and she sat me down and said we're going to do this, and we're going to do this, and we're gonna do this, and you know for example the next step is you have to write a book proposal. How to write a book proposal KariAnne: [00:31:42] Well a book proposal is very intimidating for anyone who's never written one before. I mean they say that's what separates kind of the serious people from the not so serious people because the typical book proposal is about 10,000 words. Jillian: [00:31:55] Wow. KariAnne: [00:31:55] So it took me probably about four months to write the book proposal which is, like it was overwhelming. And my agent, her name is Ruth, she kept gently nudging me like, "Hey haven't heard from you on that book proposal yet, how's it going?" KariAnne: [00:32:15] And I just kept going and putting one foot in front of the other. And I think probably the hardest thing about writing a book is when you write a blog post it's 350 words and there's a beginning a middle and an end and you're done and you walk away. When you write a book it's 50,000 words. KariAnne: [00:32:32] And it's a beginning and then a whole lot of words. And then a middle and then a whole lot of work and then the end. So you got to shift your thinking a little bit. KariAnne: [00:32:43] But we we did the proposal and then she sends it out to different contacts that she has in the publishing world. And then we got some bids on the book and we looked at them and selected an incredible offer and went with that. And then the whole book writing process started. Jillian: [00:33:02] OK and how long did the book writing process take? KariAnne: [00:33:05] Well I'm kind of a fast writer just because I mean you've got to think of it this way, I was in training to write a book. I mean I write five blog posts a week. So that's training yourself to sit at the computer and write 400 words every day or five days a week. KariAnne: [00:33:21] And so I had done that for year after year after year so when they told me, you have to sit down and here's when your first chapter is due and here's when your second chapter is due and I pretty much stuck to my deadline. KariAnne: [00:33:32] I hear in the world, I don't know this for a fact, but I had heard that a lot of sometimes people don't stick to their deadlines. Jillian: [00:33:38] I've heard that too. Yes. KariAnne: [00:33:40] They get overwhelming, but I was pretty on it. And so I think the whole process of actually writing the book maybe took about nine months. Jillian: [00:33:49] OK. And what is the first book called? The book: So Close To Amazing KariAnne: [00:33:53] The first book is called So Close To Amazing. And it's actually a memoir. It's a memoir so it's trade paper which in publishing house terms means like it's a book book, was like writing and it's not for color. There are words and chapters and that type of thing. Jillian: [00:34:13] So it's not just a DIY book? KariAnne: [00:34:15] No it's a like a memoir, it's about my life it's about us moving. It's the story that I told you except with way more stories along the way. Jillian: [00:34:24] OK. OK. KariAnne: [00:34:26] Way more adventures in about. It's all about at the end of the day, the overarching message of the book is learning how to celebrate right where we are and realizing that the me of today is perfect. KariAnne: [00:34:40] I mean I think so many times, and that's what this book is about: The book was, we jumped to the country and I expect when we moved to the country everything's going to be perfect, and I'm going to be growing my own grain and I arrive in the country like, "wait, life is not exactly how I thought it was going to be" and I thought I was going to make friends and that didn't exactly work out. KariAnne: [00:34:58] It was like I was always looking for this amazing. Like I was like, Oh tomorrow is going to be amazing, if we just finished the house I'm going to be amazing, if I could lose another like 20 pounds I'll be amazing, if my hair was a little longer I'd be amazing. KariAnne: [00:35:11] And along the way and part of this whole journey was I discovered that the amazing was right there. Jillian: [00:35:19] Wow. KariAnne: [00:35:19] The amazing was the journey. Jillian: [00:35:23] Wow. Yes. I love that. I love that. That's amazing! KariAnne: [00:35:32] So I had been so close to amazing all along. There's the book. Jillian: [00:35:37] Right. So this book though, did it have photos of your beautiful house? Did it also have DIY? Or was it really just about your journey? KariAnne: [00:35:48] Well you know you read those books and at the end of each of the chapters they'll have a recipe. Jillian: [00:35:56] Yes, Ruth Reichl is one of my favorite writers and she's a food writer and she always puts her favorite recipes. KariAnne: [00:36:03] Yes. And so you always think you can have these recipes. Well when you read the book you'll understand I'm a horrific cook. Like I mean absolutely positively horrible cook. And so there was no putting any recipes like that would have been horrible. KariAnne: [00:36:19] So I put DIYs at the end of each chapter that I talk about in each of the chapters I work that DIY into the chapter. Jillian: [00:36:27] I love that. I love that. KariAnne: [00:36:30] And at the end is a DIY. The book is also full of total asides which is the way I talk, so I'll be in the middle of a story and then I'll be like total aside. Did you really like Shaun Cassidy when you were younger? You know like, why random thoughts, people were like wait where was she going? Jillian: [00:36:46] Oh that's terrific. KariAnne: [00:36:48] So yeah it's a little, I don't know if you remember there was a lady named Erma Bombeck. Jillian: [00:36:51] Yes yes. KariAnne: [00:36:53] It's a little like her. Jillian: [00:36:54] Oh OK. So you launched this first book. And again what I think is so interesting is, yes you are DIY, yes you have a great eye, yes you take beautiful photos, but there's a there there. Jillian: [00:37:08] There's a you with a message and you're living your life and you're sharing your life and you're going that extra mile, you're connecting. Blogging for comments and connection KariAnne: [00:37:18] Yes. Well I have been so blessed. It all started with the first little person who left a comment on my blog. And then you know some people blog for money some people blog for their egos. I blog for comments. Jillian: [00:37:34] Yeah. KariAnne: [00:37:36] Shameful. Jillian: [00:37:36] No, I get it. Oh my god I get like if if somebody emails me and says "I read your email" and it was somebody today, just emailed me and said "I really need it" Jillian: [00:37:47] It was something about I wrote an email. It's a sequence and there's one about Instagram, and it's like you have to show up for Instagram and somebody wrote back to me goes, "I really needed to hear this today." And I sit here and I just read that and I go "awww" and I write back and I just go "thank you so much." KariAnne: [00:38:05] Wow. Right. Jillian: [00:38:09] I love those. And I have a file I save called Love Letters where I will go through them on a bad day and I'll read them. KariAnne: [00:38:19] Me too! OK. Mine isn't called love letters. Mine is called KariAnne You're Amazing. Jillian: [00:38:27] Because there is something about it. Even why I love the podcast, just because I get to connect. And then if other people get to hear it and learn from it. I'm so happy about that. Jillian: [00:38:39] But at the end of the day, like being a blogger can be lonely having a company or multiple companies. It can be lonely. And so if I can hear other people's stories and if I can impart little bits of wisdom by being in the trenches. You know I feel like I've done my job for the day. KariAnne: [00:39:02] Well OK so I'm going to be totally shameful and transparent here. So sometimes I write a blog post especially if it's a good story. KariAnne: [00:39:10] And when you email me when you comment on the blog it leaves it has an email that comes through on my phone. And so I'll set the post to publish. And every time there's an email the phone will ding. KariAnne: [00:39:23] So the the post will go live. I don't know maybe seven and go out by email by like 7:15 and I lay there and I hear. Ding! Ding! Ding! And I'm like Yay! KariAnne, they're commenting! So yeah there's no greater joy for sure. Jillian: [00:39:42] I agree. And I think that there's you know what's so interesting is in every one of my podcasts I feel like I learn, and I step away with like a new realization and I feel like from this conversation that realization is the more you put yourself out there, and be vulnerable and be human the more you welcome people putting themselves out there and being human. KariAnne: [00:40:11] I 100 percent agree and I think what being online so much has taught me is that we live in a world where there are so many people that are hurting, and there are so many people that are not being heard. They're not being validated. KariAnne: [00:40:27] And you know it's almost like they're walking through life without someone taking a moment to say, "Hey look you're amazing. You got it." KariAnne: [00:40:36] And there is a post I wrote one time and I said the first line of it I think is just "In case no one else had mentioned it yet today like no one has said it. You're a rock star." Like let me be that person. Let me go first. You're incredible. You're funny. There is something you can do better than anyone else in this entire world. KariAnne: [00:40:54] And the response to that post was incredible because I feel like we as human beings have this longing for connection and we want our voices to be heard and we want people to understand us. KariAnne: [00:41:10] And so when somebody comes along and goes hey I'm gonna love you right where you're at. I'm going to accept you right where you are. I think that that is such an important message. Jillian: [00:41:20] And I think because we are so hard on ourselves. I was just having this conversation with somebody, I was at the Mom2.0 conference and I was talking to a woman and we were talking about if somebody could hear our own voices in her own heads, how horrified they would be. Jillian: [00:41:39] You know the messages we are telling ourselves of were not good enough and we're not thin enough and we're not young enough or good whatever, if somebody could hear that they would stop you and say "Stop it!" Jillian: [00:41:53] That is abusive, but somehow it's OK for us to do it within ourselves because nobody really can really hear it. And so this idea of, if only I could, like you, If only I could finish my house. If only I could move to the country and grow my own grains. I will be happy. Happiness has to happen right now Jillian: [00:42:20] And it's about really changing that perspective of saying no, happiness has to happen right now. KariAnne: [00:42:26] Well and it's funny, because back when I was telling you about the house trying to make the house cuter. I actually wrote a post on the blog and I had the twins for their first dance. KariAnne: [00:42:36] I had all these parents coming over. They were doing like a pre-dance party at our house and we hadn't really shown the house to anybody, and I spent days and days trying to make the house cute. KariAnne: [00:42:48] I would be like. "Come on House we're going to show them. We're going to show them we're cute." I was painting walls and putting up curtains and doing all this, and you know what happened? KariAnne: [00:43:00] People got here, and they walked around the house and all of a sudden these two beautiful adorable sweet identical twin daughters came down the stairs with their hearts in their eyes and these beautiful smiles on their faces. And no one's paying attention of the house, right. Jillian: [00:43:19] Right. Yes. You just gave me goosebumps. KariAnne: [00:43:21] The house was already cute enough. It was already cute enough. And here I was so obsessed and worrying about that, when I should have just paused and thought you know what the house and I were on a journey, and here are these beautiful girls and the day really is about them. Not about making your house cute right. Jillian: [00:43:41] Right. Oh I love that. Oh I love that. I want to say I have learned so much from you. KariAnne: [00:43:51] Oh I love that because I'm a little in awe of you. I could I could just sit at your feet and learn from you for sure ,you are amazing with everything you have accomplished. Jillian: [00:44:02] We will have to do a part two for sure. KariAnne: [00:44:05] Oh that would be awesome. Jillian: [00:44:06] So tell people, because again, we have much more to talk about. So tell people about your books and the books that are coming and then how people can reach out to you. Because what I love is you're available. KariAnne: [00:44:21] Yes 100 percent. So the first book is called So Close To Amazing and it's a memoir. It's a faith based book. I touch on my faith in the book. It's a faith based publisher called Tyndale. KariAnne: [00:44:34] This second book is all about decorating. It's called the DIY Decorate It Yourself Planner and it's literally the sassy girl's guide to decorating. KariAnne: [00:44:45] One of the chapters starts and it says, space planning is a lot like wearing Spanx to your high school reunion, like absolutely necessary. So there's a lot of like not intimidating. I kind of bring you along with me on my journey of decorating this house. KariAnne: [00:45:05] There are very specific things in there, like specific guidelines for how to choose a paint color, and how to plan out your spaces and how high to hang your chandelier over your dining room table and amazing stuff like that. KariAnne: [00:45:18] And the third book is actually a devotional book. Jillian: [00:45:20] Okay wait, I need that book. I need that book as we make our move to Austin. KariAnne: [00:45:25] OK. It's yours. I'll send it to you. Jillian: [00:45:27] I know nothing. I know nothing about the chandelier. KariAnne: [00:45:30] And I'll be available on speed dial. Jillian: [00:45:32] OK. I love it. I love it. I love it. OK. KariAnne: [00:45:37] You are kinda my neighbor. Jillian: [00:45:37] Yes. Oh my God. We will meet up together. KariAnne: [00:45:41] Yeah for sure. KariAnne: [00:45:43] The third book that's coming out. It's a devotional book but it's all just stories of encouragement. And it's called You've Got This Because God's Got You. KariAnne: [00:45:53] And then the last or the fourth book is actually, which I'm so excited about, I cannot wait for you to see it. It's a four color beautiful coffee table book. And it's called The Style Finder and it's, we traveled all over the country and photographed different bloggers houses. KariAnne: [00:46:12] And there's a whole questionnaire with what's your style? What your decorating style? And then we walk you through. Once you're we kind of pick out what's your favorite decorating style. We walk through, like here's your living room in this style. Here's your bedroom in the style. Here's your bathroom in the style and tips to kind of combine styles, too. Jillian: [00:46:29] OK that's fabulous. OK so then how can people reach out to you? KariAnne: [00:46:36] They can email me at Thistlewoodfarms.com. If you go on there, there's a contact form that they can just get right to me, or they can actually my email address is thistlewoodfarms@yahoo.com but they can go to the blog Thistlewoodfarms.com and there's a contact form. KariAnne: [00:46:52] And they can message me on Facebook, if they want to message me on Instagram with any decorating questions, I seriously could talk decorating, I mean till the cows come home as we say in Kentucky. And that's true. You come home. Jillian: [00:47:11] Thank you so much for being on the show. KariAnne: [00:47:14] It was absolutely my joy and my honor. Get more Instagram followers fast and free with MiloTree! Jillian: [00:47:19] Are you trying to grow your social media followers and e-mail subscribers. Well if you've got two minutes I've got a product for you. Jillian: [00:47:26] It's MiloTree. Jillian: [00:47:28] MiloTree is a smart pop up slider that you install on your site and it pops up and asks visitors to follow you on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Pinterest or subscribe to your list. Jillian: [00:47:43] It takes two minutes to install. We offer a WordPress plugin or a simple line of code and it's Google friendly on mobile and desktop so we know where your traffic is coming from. Jillian: [00:47:55] We show a Google friendly pop up on desktop and a smaller Google friendly pop up on mobile. Check it out. Sign up today and get your first 30 days free. Sign up for MiloTree now and get your first 30 DAYS FREE!

Download MP3 カラオケは、日頃のストレス解消のみならず、英語の上達にも大変効果的です。でも、あの騒音がムリという人もいるかも知れませんね。今回の会話では、そんなうるさいカラオケルームの中で、女性がとんでもない聞き違えをしてしまいます。教科書ではお目にかかれない生きたスラングが満載の会話です。 *** It's a Good Expression *** （今回の重要表現） a bit 少し (to) grab を取る、素早く食べる（飲む） (to) go out with 〜とデートする (a) chick （俗語・使用注意）=a girl dude （米俗）お前、あんた straight （俗語）=heterosexual, not gay elsewhere ここじゃないどこかで (to) score （俗語）（女性を）モノにする ***Script*** Karaoke is Fun (Scene: Karaoke room-noisy) M: I'll go out for a bit and buy some drinks. W: What? M: I said I'm going out to grab some drinks. W: Wait, you want to go out with sexy chicks? M: (didn't hear well) Yeah, I am. Want to come with me? W: Of course not, dude! I have perfectly fine guys right here. I don't need chicks. M: (misheard) Oh OK. You sure you don't want me to get you anything? W: Please. I'm straight. (leaves then gets back) W: You bought drinks? Why didn't you ask me if I wanted anything? M: I did! Twice! You said you didn't want anything. W: But I thought you went out to look for chicks! M: Chicks? Who said anything about chicks? It was DRINKS. W: And all this time I thought you were having fun elsewhere! Ha ha. M: How could I even score on chicks? Karaoke is my only love. Hey, give me the mic, my song's coming up! (Written by Bea Jianne Roque)

Download MP3 カラオケは、日頃のストレス解消のみならず、英語の上達にも大変効果的です。でも、あの騒音がムリという人もいるかも知れませんね。今回の会話では、そんなうるさいカラオケルームの中で、女性がとんでもない聞き違えをしてしまいます。教科書ではお目にかかれない生きたスラングが満載の会話です。 *** It's a Good Expression *** （今回の重要表現） a bit 少し (to) grab を取る、素早く食べる（飲む） (to) go out with 〜とデートする (a) chick （俗語・使用注意）=a girl dude （米俗）お前、あんた straight （俗語）=heterosexual, not gay elsewhere ここじゃないどこかで (to) score （俗語）（女性を）モノにする ***Script*** Karaoke is Fun (Scene: Karaoke room-noisy) M: I'll go out for a bit and buy some drinks. W: What? M: I said I'm going out to grab some drinks. W: Wait, you want to go out with sexy chicks? M: (didn't hear well) Yeah, I am. Want to come with me? W: Of course not, dude! I have perfectly fine guys right here. I don't need chicks. M: (misheard) Oh OK. You sure you don't want me to get you anything? W: Please. I'm straight. (leaves then gets back) W: You bought drinks? Why didn't you ask me if I wanted anything? M: I did! Twice! You said you didn't want anything. W: But I thought you went out to look for chicks! M: Chicks? Who said anything about chicks? It was DRINKS. W: And all this time I thought you were having fun elsewhere! Ha ha. M: How could I even score on chicks? Karaoke is my only love. Hey, give me the mic, my song's coming up! (Written by Bea Jianne Roque)

Transcript for this show are below pic: Episode 11 features Tatum, an up and coming vocal artist and musical theater star from the Chicago suburbs.  Tatum has stared in over 2 dozen performances in her life and was at risk of losing it all when she developed nodules on her vocal cords during High School.  Listen to this episode to hear how she overcame this obstacle and if we are lucky we will be seeing her on the big screen in a few short years!     Episode 11 - Nodes on Vocal Cords (1).wav   Ron [00:00:16] Hello and welcome to PodcastDX  the show that brings you interviews with people just like you whose lives were forever changed by a medical diagnosis.   Lita [00:00:26] I'm Lita.   Ron [00:00:27] And I'm Ron.   Jean [00:00:28] And I'm Jean Marie.   Jean [00:00:29] Collectively we are THE BORG.   Lita [00:00:33] laughing, I'm sorry, what?   Jean [00:00:33]  According to Wikipedia the Borg is a fictional alien group that appears as reoccurring antagonist in the Star Trek franchise. THE BORG are a vast collection of drones or cybernetic organisms linked to a have mind called The Collective.   Lita [00:00:49] Okay Jean collectively We're the hosts of podcast D X.   Jean [00:00:55] Okay sure. Right right right. That's what I said.   Ron [00:00:58] Anyways on today's show we're interviewing Tatum.   Lita [00:01:01] That's right. Tatum is an up and coming vocal artist and musical theater star from the Chicago suburbs. She is currently studying musical theater at Ball State.   Ron [00:01:12] Go Cardinals.   Lita [00:01:13] Welcome to the show Tatum.   Tatum [00:01:14] Thank you for having me.   Lita [00:01:16] Tatum is an amazing singer. She's been in countless local musical productions. Thank you for coming in today. Tatum you must be exhausted.   Tatum [00:01:24] I'm always ready for anything.   Jean [00:01:27] Did I hear that you just had a reunion show last night at the Elmhurst high school.   Tatum [00:01:31] Yes I did. It was called The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.   Jean [00:01:36] Oh that's a good one. Yeah.   Tatum [00:01:37] Yeah.   Lita [00:01:39] So you didn't even get to take a break when it's your summer off from school.   Tatum [00:01:42] Oh no there's always a show somewhere. (laughter)   Ron [00:01:46] All right let's get going here. Tatum I'm sure the listeners at home are wondering by now what today's topic will be. After all we have a healthy happy college student. However we know that not all illnesses are blatantly obvious. You can't really tell if someone's healthy just by looking at them. Is that what we're dealing with today.   Lita [00:02:07] In a way you're right. Tatum has or I should say had, a condition that could have sidelined her singing career.   Tatum [00:02:16] Yes I developed nodules on my vocal folds that made it almost impossible to talk let alone project my singing voice out across a packed theater.   Lita [00:02:24] Now I've heard of vocal cords before. Are they the same as vocal folds.   Tatum [00:02:30] Yes. According to John Hopkins the vocal cords also called the vocal folds are two bands of smooth muscle tissue found in the larynx which is also the voice box the larynx itself is in the neck at the top of the trachea which is also commonly known as the windpipe. When your vocal cords vibrate and air passes through the cords from the lungs that's what produces sound. The sound is then sent out through the throat nose and mouth giving the sound resonance on the sound of your individual voice is determined by the size and shape of your vocal cords your throat your nose and your mouth.   Ron [00:03:05] TATUM How did you know that something was wrong. Did your throat hurt.   Tatum [00:03:10] Yeah it did but it felt different. Then just like a sore throat from a cold or something like that I was noticing that my vocal endurance was very low I would lose my voice after like an hour of talking in like a loud group like out at a loud restaurant or something like that. Also during rehearsals for shows that I was in I noticed that I couldn't make it through a full rehearsal without feeling like I needed to go home and not talk.   Lita [00:03:37] Oh well.   Tatum [00:03:37] Yeah.   Lita [00:03:38] Did you try any home remedies before you went to the doctor.   Tatum [00:03:41] Yeah I did. Just like normal things you would do to try and get your voice back because at the time I didn't know that I had vocal nodule. So you know I would go home and drink a lot of water and have lozenges and just rest my voice for a while just like anyone else would do. But it was it was more than that.   Jean [00:03:58] Sure. Sure How does one actually get nodules on their vocal cords. How did they form.   Tatum [00:04:03] Well according to the Merck Manual acute trauma or chronic irritation causes changes in the vocal cords that can lead to polyps and nodules and granulomas all three conditions cause hoarseness and almost a breathy voice and diagnosis is based on a laryngoscopy.   Jean [00:04:21] Oh.   Lita [00:04:21] A laryngoscopy, what is a laryngoscopy?   Tatum [00:04:28] A laryngoscopy which also just could be called getting scoped.   Lita [00:04:31] Oh scoped.   Tatum [00:04:31] Yeah, It's basically they stick a really tiny camera down your throat or when I got it it would go up my nose and then down the throat.   Jean [00:04:42] nooo.   Lita [00:04:42] laughter.   Tatum [00:04:42] It's really uncomfortable but yeah it goes in and you can see on a screen your vocal folds. It's pretty cool actually actually again. So they do something called a strobe test which is basically just like really rapid pictures and you can see it like it almost like slow motion your vocal cords vibrating.   Jean [00:05:02] Oh. wow   Tatum [00:05:02] Because it's going so fast.   Jean [00:05:05] mmhmm.   Ron [00:05:05] interesting.   Tatum [00:05:05] So that was really helpful for me when I went in and first got my diagnosis. I could see the bumps.   Lita [00:05:11] So they let you watch this.   Tatum [00:05:12] Yeah. Yeah.   Jean [00:05:13] Oh see you were awake ohh.   Lita [00:05:14] Laughter   Tatum [00:05:14] I mean you're watching it. Well this thing is like down your throat.   Jean [00:05:18] So that's amazing.   Lita [00:05:20] oh wow.   Ron [00:05:20] If you got to see it How did they treat the nodules then?   Tatum [00:05:23] Judicious surgical removal restores the voice and removal of the irritating source prevents recurrence. So when I got it it was basically a laser that cut them off of my vocal folds in my particular case that irritation came from previous acid reflux problems.   Lita [00:05:41] ohhhh.     Tatum [00:05:42] And just improper overuse of my voice like over practicing and yelling and.   Ron [00:05:47] So they were using a laser.   Tatum [00:05:49] Yes.   Jean [00:05:49] And were you awake for this.   Tatum [00:05:50] No I was not awake for that.    Jean:  OK.   Ron [00:05:52] And if the laser would have slipped. Would that have impacted your voice.   Tatum [00:05:59] well Yes.   Jean [00:05:59] I always wonder if, if the doctor sneezes or something.   Lita [00:06:03] oh my.   Jean [00:06:03] During the procedure. Any. Yes. Any procedure. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.   Tatum [00:06:07] laughter.   Lita [00:06:07] That's it. I think that's why they don't want to robotics.   Jean [00:06:10] It could be. Well again just thinking about all this makes my throat hurt.   Tatum [00:06:13] But they used to do it with like scissors.   Lita [00:06:16] Oh.   Tatum [00:06:17] Like way way back in the day which was just way less accurate since the lasers just like it was like a 45 minute surgery. Yeah.   Jean [00:06:25] Wow could you talk afterwards.   Tatum [00:06:27] No not right afterwards.   Lita [00:06:28] Were you nervous about having the surgery.   Tatum [00:06:31] I was mostly because like I mean it was my voice like I'm majoring in musical theater. This is my instrument. And my surgeon he's like one of the most acclaimed vocal surgeons in the world. So   Lita: OK I obviously trusted him. But you know I mean anyone's nervous going into surgery.   Jean [00:06:50] I think I heard you were in good company maybe like Barbra Streisand may have seen your doctor.   Tatum [00:06:56] Yeah yeah. she did.   Lita [00:06:57] oh wow. All right. And what was the recovery from your surgery like. Did anything speed along your recovery.   Tatum [00:07:04] I don't know if anything necessarily sped it up besides just being on vocal rest because immediately after I was completely silent for a week.   Jean [00:07:14] Oh wow.   Tatum [00:07:15] I didn't know anything yeah.   Lita [00:07:16] Oh God.   Tatum [00:07:17] So that was just I mean that was the protocol they gave me.   Lita [00:07:19] How do you, I know that you are the type, that walks around your house singing singing everywhere.   Tatum [00:07:26] (Laughing) Yeah.   Lita [00:07:26] How did you do that.   Tatum [00:07:27] It was hard. I watched a lot of movies.   Ron [00:07:31] Oh oh that's incredible.   Jean [00:07:34] What my mom really though wants to know is if you had to eat a ton of ice cream Were you forced to do it. Was it prescribed.   Tatum [00:07:42] It was not prescribed but it didn't hurt. (Laughing)   Lita [00:07:47] Nothing. It never hurts. Would you say.   Jean [00:07:50] It hurts the waistline.   Lita [00:07:50] Yes. Would you say that now you're back to normal or have you noticed any deficits or maybe even improvements in your voice.   Tatum [00:07:58] I wouldn't say I'm back to normal I'd say I'm better than I ever have been.   Lita [00:08:03] OK.   Jean [00:08:05] Awesome.   Tatum [00:08:05] Definitely. Well I had it done right before going to college so I definitely seen improvements like working with the voice teacher at school and everything. I think my vocal ability I can I can do a lot more than I was even able to before I got this surgery.   Jean [00:08:20] Has it  extended your range.   Tatum [00:08:21] Or a little bit yeah. But mostly just like the clarity of my voice it was less breathy raspy and just endurance wise like I could make it through a show and not feel like I had to sit down and not talk to anyone for like a day after.   Jean [00:08:37] Oh OK. That's awesome.   Tatum [00:08:38] Yeah.   Ron [00:08:38] All right. I hate to be the one who had to ask this question but is it possible that additional nodules can come back in the future.   Tatum [00:08:47] Yes. Actually if you get surgery to remove vocal nodules you actually have a higher percent chance of developing them again just because you have scar tissue and everything. But it's not a super high percentage especially if I've been going through speech therapy and everything. So if you learn how to properly take care of it then you should be fine to be healthy in the future.   Lita [00:09:11] Is there anything that you and our listeners can do to keep their vocal folds and larynx healthy.   Tatum [00:09:19] Yes. The larynx and the vocal cords need moisture. So it's so important to drink plenty of water. I mean I carried around a half gallon jug. So I mean the typical recommendation is to drink six to eight glasses of water a day. But, I'd say some days I have more than that some days less. You know some days you forget. But and whenever possible to avoid alcohol and extremely spicy foods and smoking. In addition using a humidifier to maintain about 30 percent humidity in the room is also very helpful.   Jean [00:09:52] OK and have they treated you for your acid reflux.   Tatum [00:09:54] No that was just something I had it more when I was younger.   Jean:  OK. And they've think that kind of just set it up. These are not good. Yeah.   Lita [00:10:03] All right.   Jean [00:10:04] Yeah. Thank you. Tatum.   Tatum [00:10:05] Thank you for having me.   Lita [00:10:06] I am going to be watching for you on Broadway.   Tatum [00:10:10] (Laughter) I hope so.   Lita [00:10:10] Yes. And if our listeners have any questions or comments related to today's show they can contact us at podcast D X at yahoo dot com through our Web site podcast D X dot com, on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.   Ron [00:10:28] And if you have a moment to spare please give us a five star review on the I- tunes podcast app.   Lita [00:10:33] And just as a sideline. Could you just sing a couple of notes.   Tatum [00:10:40] laughter All right. OK. Let's see I can sing. Give My Regards to Broadway.   Lita [00:10:48] That's wonderful. clapping  Right.   Tatum [00:10:50] Thank you.   Lita [00:10:51] Have a great day. And until next time we're out.  

Season 3: Episode 4Learning to live again: Tiff's storyIn the latest episode, Claire travels to Leicester to talk to Tiffany Youngs…Tiff appeared at the age of 28 to have an amazing life – recently married to Tom Youngs, the England and Leicester Tigers rugby player, with a new baby girl Maisie and a lovely family home in Leicester.However this was all about to be turned on its head when she found out in 2014 that she was suffering from Hodgkin Lymphoma.This is the remarkable story of how Tiff dealt with three years of ill health and numerous different treatments, including a stem cell transplant, only to be told the devastating news in April 2017 that her cancer was terminal.“I said you know Mummy hasn't been very well, unfortunately Mummy has got to go to heaven….and she was like Oh OK so I never see Mummy again.”However a few months ago Tiff found out that she was in remission – the scan was completely clear of cancer.How does it feel as a mother to face a terminal diagnosis? Tiff talks to Claire about her health and emotions, and the extraordinary turnaround which sees her now in remission from the disease.For Help and Information:Information on stem cell donation: https://www.dkms.org.uk/en/register-nowInformation on blood donation: https://www.blood.co.ukInformation on platelet donation: http://platelets.blood.co.uk/the-donation-process/Bloodwise – the charity behind blood cancer research https://bloodwise.org.ukComprehensive information on all cancers and support: https://www.macmillan.org.ukMusic Credits:Music credits:Main theme: Title: NancyAuthor: Grimo (http://www.gosoundtrack.com/the-team/)Source: www.gosoundtrack.comLicence: CC By 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Incidental music: Title: Eternal Hope Author: Kevin MacLeod Source: incompetech.com Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Title: Light Thought Variation 1 Author: Kevin MacLeod Source: incompetech.com Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this podcast Tabitha talks to a person in recovery about her struggles with diabulimia.    link to the BBC diabulimia documentary mentioned:   https://youtu.be/tSLjM6cZaTo    The Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast Recovery Stories: The Dangers of Diabulimia Tabitha: Hello there, welcome to this weeks podcast. This week I'm going to be talking to somebody who would like to remain anonymous. We are talking about her experience with diabulimia. Diabulimia is a type of eating disorder, that happens when a person has type one diabetes and then they start to use eating disorder behaviours or insulin control to control their weight. We start this conversation by my anonymous friend telling us a little bit about herself. Anon: I was diagnosed as type 1 diabetic when I was 9. A week before my 10th birthday. Then due to some treatment I received for the eating disorder when I was 12, I had quite a few other medical tests and things done because my diabetic control was so good because the lack of food, I didn't need a lot of insulin, I wasn't having very low or very high blood sugar levels and as a result of those tests they found out I had actually had quite an unusual form of diabetes called MODY which is, I think it's categorised more akin to type 2 diabetes but it's treated in the same way as type 1 and it's quite unusual. So for all intents and purposes I'm treated in the same way as a type 1 diabetic and I guess my eating disorder history is that I developed plain vanilla classic anorexia when I was 12 and then the anorexia really spiralled when I was going on 13 at which point in about 6 months I'd lost about a third of my body weight and I was towards the lower end of the healthy BMI scale as it was. I became very very unwell and was on the verge of being sectioned by CAMS, the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service in the UK. I remember sitting in my bed at home on the evening after my parents had taken me home from the outpatient hospital and brought me this bowl of cereal, bran flakes or something, but they brought me this bowl of cereal and they said, my mum was there saying you have to eat this you have to eat this. I don't know what it was but I was so distressed and so upset that I just ate it. And that started a three month period of what you refer to as feast eating. So I ate and I ate and I ate for 3 months and I ate no diabetic friendly foods at all. All cakes and chocolate and all of the things I'd been restricting and one of the things that the medical team had tried to get me to drink when I was underweight and I'd feigned drinking and poured away and done all the usual anorexic guise getting out of eating were these things called Scandishakes. They are basically like these meal replacement shakes. But they are actually really nice ones in terms of they are just full of sugar basically. So they just taste like McDonald's milkshakes so they are really quite enjoyable but when I started having those initially my blood sugar just went absolutely off the scale because I hadn't been having them before and so the medical team just assumed well those are fine for people with diabetes. But when I actually started drinking them, the sugars went off the scale and I didn't put on any weight. So I was eating a huge volume of food, a lot of calories, really a lot of food and I wasn't putting on an ounce. And at one point I was actually losing weight despite being extremely underweight. I suppose that was the first experience I'd have of what's referred to as Diabulimia which for any listeners who aren't aware, Diabulimia refers to when predominantly type 1 diabetic patients do not take insulin which is something they need to take to break down carbohydrates and sugars. They don't take their insulin because they know if they don't take it they can eat whatever they like, which if they are restricting is probably high fat, high carb, high sugar food and not put on any weight at all and in some cases lose weight. So that was my experience, it was completely in inadvertent at first and at that point I assumed that my brain was being nourished to some extent because I didn't put 2 and 2 together and think this is nice, I'm going to carry on doing this. I took the insulin, I got things under control again and it was all a bit up and down anyway because of the types of foods I was having to eat at that point to get to weight restoration. But when my BMI reached I think it was 18 the medical profession thought she's out of the woods, she's clearly put on this weight, she's fine and at that point, my parents were scared by the amount that I was eating as well because they didn't understand what was going on, they didn't think I had an eating disorder at that point. So they were very much OK great, so you can stop all of the eating now, you don't have to eat so much food, you can just go back to normal, eating normal foods and normal potions and go back to caring your diabetes and what's healthy for that. Because at that point I was in no way mentally recovered, nowhere close, I hadn't received any psychological support at that point because I was hell bent on not getting any mental help at that point and my parents, because I'd assured them being in the eating disorder mindset, I'm fine, I've got this under control they didn't compel me to go and get treatment and to be quite honest with you the only treatment that was offered to me was an inpatient facility that was 100s of miles away, I think it was in Scotland. It was 100s of miles away from them anyway and that was the last thing they wanted. They were really so concerned for me to then be whisked off away to the other side of the country wasn't something that they were keen to do at all. So I reassured them and I was going back to this regular quote pattern of eating with what I now realise was very much quasi recover and then I suppose at that point it was a conscious effort to pursue, for a lack of a better word, the diabulimia. So I would be craving all the high sugar, I don't like the term junk food, but processed foods and I'd be craving them and I didn't feel able to give myself permission to have those foods and take my insulin at the same time. It went in dribs and drabs. I did that for a couple of years and then after that time I just worked out that it felt so rubbish to abuse the diabetes in that way because I don't know what the experience is like for anyone with an eating disorder particularly anorexia without diabetes because that hasn't been my experience because it set in at 9 and I developed the eating disorder at 12 so I only ever had an eating disorder with the diabetes but I can not convey how weak and tired and how horrendous it feels to have low blood sugars and then how tired and just faint and unwell I felt when my blood sugars were high as well. When the blood sugars were low and I was very much in the anorexia stage there was this immense fear of having to eat in order to bring the blood sugars up again because I was taking next to no insulin but there was this huge fear of if my blood sugars go to low and I could go into the coma I'm going to have to eat something that wasn't planned for. Looking back on at, that is hugely scary because I would, and I think as well that the issue I had was that I was getting a lot of positive reinforcement from my diabetic team until my weight became a concern I was getting a lot of positive reinforcement because my blood sugar control was exemplary because I wasn't eating, I was having next to no insulin and my blood sugar control was excellent and so from their prospective I was the model diabetic patient which definitely plays into my plain vanilla anorexia type personality or susceptibility. Because I'm very type a, perfectionist want to please people. From a purely physical perspective if I don't eat my blood sugars go extremely low because I have to take a certain amount of insulin my body doesn't produce that and so I need take long acting and short acting insulin several times a day. If my blood sugars go too low, I become shaky, faint can not function when I've had they are called hypos, or hypoglycaemia which I know that a lot of people with anorexia deal with anyway, but I think with diabetic people it is just amplified because alongside the anorexia  they are also dealing with this chronic health condition and so extremely weak, to the extent that if I was trying to get food when I had a very low blood sugar I would have to hold on to the work surfaces and things in order to not fall over, just to get some food. I actually am very fortunate in that I feel unwell whereas I know that for a lot of diabetic people sometimes they don't and it's just case of one minute they are walking around and then then next minute they are out cold on the floor. From the other end of the spectrum when the blood sugars were high and I weren't to take insulin then, I become extremely tired, extremely thirsty, unable to sleep through the night, because I will be drinking so much I needed to get up to use the bathroom. And I suppose the invisible signs if you like, that can't be seen when the blood sugars are high, that's when things like damage to the retina occur so blindness and because of the circulatory issues can lead to amputations in fingers and toes are quite common. T: I didn't know about the blindness. A: Oh yes, that's very common and diabetic people have to have retina screenings every year to check to photograph the retina to see if there are any signs of diabetic retinopathy. That is quite a common side effect of mismanaged diabetes, inadvertently. But obviously with diabulimia if someone is doing that in such an extreme level then that can be accelerated quite substantially so people that are quite young can lose their sight. T: Did you know at the time that that was a risk? A: Yes, I did and I can honestly say I didn't think about it at the time. On a logical level, I knew what all the risks were because other risks like kidney damage, damage to organs are really serious and in some cases organ transplantation. But to me, because the anorexia was so strong, at that point none of it mattered. It was, I want to be thin and I don't want to eat more than I'm eating now. And if I do eat then I can't take insulin and that's just the way it is. T: I know that when I had active anorexia sometimes I think it's part of that not knowing how sick you are or how risky things are but you can sort of know that something's a risk and do it anyway. You feel that you're special and it won't happen to you. A: Yeah sure and I think as well with me, I was pulled up on it by my medical team because I was so underweight but diabulimia can happen, like anorexia in someone at any shape, any size body. So someone doesn't have to be massively underweight and because mismanagement of diabetes can happen quite innocently as it's quite a difficult condition to manage. The management of it differs hugely between individuals so it can quite easily slip under the radar of medical professionals, unless someone actually comes out and asks for help which as you say, if someone is so hell bent on restricting then that may never happen. T: So what helped you to understand that you couldn't continue to do what you were doing? A: Honestly I think the only thing that got me out of the diabulimia was kind of moving into Othorexia. Which is horrendous, but I got into this mindset of, I feel really bad when I eat all this junk food because I'm not taking my insulin so I equated that with, if I eat all this processed food it doesn't matter if I take my insulin or not it's definitely the food and so I can eat as much as I like provided it's healthy. And then that went down a whole other rabbit hole so the diabulimia became kind of irrelevant at that stage because I'd found this other way of restricting and so that wasn't really required any more. It's only when I looked back on it and I'd managed to get myself to a point enough physical recovery to think, I don't want to do any of those things that I can see, there wasn't any conscious effort on my part to think, oh I'm really scared of the potential of going blind, or losing my foot or something, there wasn't nearly that rational, it was very much like, this is the way to go because look at all these people in Instagram or whatever that are eating clean and this is why I should be doing. T: But many people do that, most of us cycle through every type of fad diet or stage and you do something maybe for a year or so and it gets tired and you look for something else that's going to help you feel safe, but allow you to change what you're doing. S it sounds likes that move to othorexia was a way that helped you feel safe but it enabled you to change to do something different which isn't ideal either. A: No, far from it. T: OK, so anything else that you think is relevant on the Diabulimia? A: Having a quick look at that documentary that I mentioned to you which is the BBC 3 Diabulimia, it's called something like The Worlds Deadliest Eating Disorder, but they quoted a study which said that 60% of type 1 diabetic women have experienced an eating disorder by the time they are 25 so I think it's extremely common and I also think it's extremely difficult to not only diagnose but get help because I know people who are clinically very underweight, they should meet the threshold of inpatient treatment just as an eating disorder stand alone illness but nobody inpatient facility will take them because they are diabetic. They don't have the diabetes knowledge and they don't know how to adapt the standard meal plan that they give to everyone and everyone has to eat the same. T: Right, so they say there is a risk that they can't take on. A: Yes, absolutely T: So what do you think needs to happen in the treatment field in order to be able to serve what sounds like quite a high percentage of people with type 1 diabetes who also have an eating disorder or be using that to control their weight. So what do you think in your experience could have been offered and what do you think could have helped you maybe earlier on? A: I think that the first step with anything is awareness because at the time that I was suffered with diabulimia it wasn't a thing. It wasn't recognised particularity and I think that a lot of women and men too. There haven't been any stats on it but I'm sure men as well deal with the same issue and young boys as well. Just to raise it as an issue and really monitor them closely in terms of every diabetic child, adolescent and adult even, should have regular diabetic appointments. Their average glucose level, their HBA1C level which is their average blood sugar taken over I think 3 or 6 months will show if they've had high blood sugar levels for that period so that will kind of give away if they've been abusing or taking their insulin or not. Raising awareness among the diabetic consultants that this is a thing and then interdisciplinary discussions so have the diabetic dietitians work with the eating disorder dietitians and help people manage things in a way that isn't obsessive because I know with me, asking me to count carbs was not helpful because saying you can have X number of carbohydrate portions a day for this insulin wasn't helpful. So maybe just taking a more relaxed to it, saying you're taking this amount of insulin at the moment and you did this amount of insulin with this meal, so how were your blood sugars after that? Oh OK so maybe you need a bit more insulin if it was high or OK maybe that was a bit too much insulin so maybe we need to dial it down a bit. Don't go into this carb counting thing. T: Yep don't play into things that eating disorders really like to do. So I like what you said the interdisciplinary things there. It seems like it's a no brainer that it should happen anyway if somebody has diabetes and they also have an eating disorder that people work together but I guess maybe it's probably even harder in the US than it is in the UK because at least in the UK you have the NHS and I did find when I lived in the UK, things were more interwoven on the NHS because it;s one organisation trying to work together whereas in the USA it does feel more difficult that doctors don't talk to each other and aren't necessarily working in t he same organisation even. A: I agree, I think as well each NHS trust in the UK will have a segregated area, each trust will have a diabetic dietitian and an eating disorder dietitian and so it should in theory be possible for them to liaise. But I don't know why that doesn't, I guess because it's not picked up on. T: Right, the importance isn't understood is it? I guess a lot of people who maybe are diabetic specialists are not an eating disorder specialist, so it's just not on their radar that people can use being a type 1 diabetic to control their weight. As much as it should be. To me it seems really obvious but my head is in eating disorder world, so it would do, I guess maybe if you were not in eating disorder world especially if you work in a health system that is obsessed with what they call the obesity crisis then maybe that is also a factor that plays into it. A: Absolutely. I definitely agree with that, particularly with something like diabetes because what I've experienced a lot, just among the general population there is a lot of confusion between type 1 and type 2 diabetes. If you say your diabetic they just assume you are type 2 diabetic and they don't really understand what type 1 diabetes is. I think what's also tied up in diabetic dietitians in particular is this whole weigh management paradigm when they get a patient their objective is to get them to get their insulin levels under control primarily through dieting behaviours. It can be difficult when as you say, when people aren't really acquainted with the eating disorder world as it were that they don't understand why someone wouldn't take their insulin if it makes them feel really bad. T: Do you think there was anything anyone could have done or said that would have helped you out? Because I know that we may have family members listening to this and it's a really tricky subject. Like you said you were pretty resistant to hep and support initially just wondering what your thoughts are if you can think back if anybody could have said something that might have helped you? A: You have to reach a certain point of just being sick and tired of it and wanting help. I think if someone is in that frame of mind that they don't feel like they can give themselves permission and just go ahead and in the early stages of recovery, eat all the food. Just giving someone the permission to do that because that's all I wanted when I went to see dietitians. There's nothing that they could have taught me about nutrition or about diabetes management that I didn't know already. I was obsessed and so I think all I wanted was somebody to give me the permission and say you know what? If you want to eat 5 boxes of Krispy Kremes you can go for it and we will help you manage the insulin with that. T: So a big thank you to my anonymous friend there. Some of you might be wondering how she's actually doing so I asked her and she said in terms of where I am with my recovery, I have recovered fully from diabulimia and have been fully recovered for 10 years and I am in the later stages of recovery from both anorexia and othorexia. Mentally I feel as if I am very close to being fully recovered. I also asked her if there was anything that she would say with somebody with type 1 diabetes who was also dealing with an eating disorder and she said the thing she would tell them would be to reach out for support. Please tell someone, family, a friend and eating disorder therapist or anyone on the diabetes treatment team preferably someone who ascribes to a HAES model. Taking that first step asking for help can be terrifying but you reach out and the amount of support and love you could be shown would surpass any expectation you have. Diabulimia is a lethal illness and addition to all the long term complications of an eating disorder it has all of the long term side effects of poorly managed diabetes such as amputation, blindness and organ damage and failure. This is no joke and anyone struggling deserves a life so much better than they currently have, they are worthy of recovery. Never underestimate the courage and the strength you have just living with diabetes every day it's a real achievement just living with it. A life doesn't need to be made harder by introducing an eating disorder into the mix, not that an eating disorder is a choice. If they feel unable to give themselves permission to seek help, I am giving it to them now. Go and get help so that you can live a wonderful, free life. You so deserve it. Thank you for listening to this weeks podcast, if you have a recovery story to share or if you have something you think you would like to hear covered in this podcast, please email me at info@tabithafarrar.com or you can tweet me it's @love_fat_ Cheers and until next time cheerio.

See transcript below pic. The dizzying tale of an injured Army Officer that never expected to have her career cut short by a freak accident resulting in Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.  Jean Marie has worked hard to recover from a severe brain and spinal cord injury and is sharing part of her story in this episode.  I am sure we will glean more information from her in future episodes as we delve deeper into the mysteries of POTS. Jean: [00:00:15] I. am so excited to talk about today's topic. I already started the application process online. [00:00:19][4.9] Lita: [00:00:20] Wait a minute. What application process? [00:00:21][1.1] Jean: [00:00:22] For medical marijuana. [00:00:22][0.7] Ron: [00:00:24] We're not talking about marijuana today. [00:00:25][1.5] Jean: [00:00:26] Oh but I thought you guys said we were talking about pot. [00:00:28][2.0] Lita: [00:00:28] No Jean we're talking about POTs. [00:00:30][2.0] Jean: [00:00:34] OK. POTs, Well then on with the show. Hello and welcome to podcastdx the show that brings you interviews with people just like you whose lives were forever changed by a medical diagnosis. [00:00:44][10.7] Lita: [00:00:45] I'm Lita. [00:00:45][0.3] Ron: [00:00:46] . I'm Ron. [00:00:46][0.9] Jean: [00:00:47] And I'm Jean-Marie. Collectively we are the hosts of podcast X this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for a professional medical advice diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment and before undertaking a new health care regimen and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you've heard on this podcast. [00:01:18][30.5] Ron: [00:01:18] After all, we are not doctors. [00:01:19][1.0] Lita: [00:01:20] We don't even play them on TV. [00:01:21][1.0] Jean: [00:01:22] But if we were to be TV doctors I'd like to be Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. [00:01:25][3.2] Ron: [00:01:26] And I'd be.... [00:01:26][0.4] Lita: [00:01:27] Ummm no, now back to the show. [00:01:28][0.9] Ron: [00:01:29] Right. On today's show we'll be interviewing one of our own PodcastDX host Jean Marie. Jean had a condition called POTs which stand for postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. POTs maybe a condition our listeners aren't familiar with. Please allow us to give you some background. Jean this is a condition you acquired when you were injured while on active duty. What did you tell us about it. [00:01:54][25.2] Jean: [00:01:55] Well Ron POTs is a condition that affects your heart rate and blood pressure with change in position from like lying to standing or sitting to standing. But it isn't really a heart disease or a heart disorder rather it's a disorder of the central nervous system that regulates the heart rate, blood pressure and the rest of the parasympathetic nervous system; breathing, digestion those are all part of this same system and could be affected as well. [00:02:19][24.4] Lita: [00:02:20] Thank you for the background info Jean and thank you for being a guest instead of a host today. [00:02:25][4.7] Jean: [00:02:26] Yeah I didn't know I had a choice in the matter. [00:02:27][2.0] Ron: [00:02:30] hmmm hmm I understand it's been 10 years since you were diagnosed with POTs? [00:02:33][2.7] Jean: [00:02:33] That's right. I was injured in 2000 but it took about eight years to sort out all of the resulting conditions from that accident. [00:02:40][6.3] Lita: [00:02:41] Well Jean, you look great. POTs isn't something that people typically see as a disability or a condition there might not be outward signs but being active enough to join us tonight might be a really big thing for somebody with POTs. Can you tell our listeners how POTs affects you personally in your everyday life. [00:03:03][21.9] Jean: [00:03:03] Sure. Every time I change positions like from moving from sitting to standing or lying down just sitting I get a headache but it only lasts for a few seconds. In addition I tend to faint quite a lot. I passed out while drying my hands. I fell into a bathtub and fractured my kneecap and my cribriform plate. I had CSF or some cerebral spinal fluid leaking from my nose and I was on bedrest for about two weeks or a month afterwards. [00:03:32][29.0] Lita: [00:03:34] Well Jean what symptoms first led you to the doctor. [00:03:37][3.0] Jean: [00:03:38] I kept fainting having dizzy spells and the like. [00:03:40][2.5] Ron: [00:03:41] Well how long did it take for you to get a diagnosis. [00:03:42][1.3] Jean: [00:03:44] My symptoms were bothering me for about eight years before they diagnosed me with POTs. [00:03:47][3.5] Ron: [00:03:48] Wow. Can you recall any specific symptoms that really stood out. [00:03:53][4.4] Jean: [00:03:53] Well I actually thought my symptoms were normal for someone with a head injury. And then one day I was waiting for my nephews to finish up their sailing lessons on Lake Michigan when I felt very dizzy and when they got back to shore we all went to the hospital and I was very surprised to see how low my blood pressure was. It was around 50 over 40 and it took hours for it to come back to normal for it which is for me is about 120 over 60 for me. [00:04:19][25.1] Lita: [00:04:19] What tests help diagnose your condition. [00:04:21][2.1] Jean: [00:04:23] The tests for this condition are a bit odd. There's the tilt table test and for that the doctor or technician straps you to a table and then the table literally tilts up until you are in a standing position. And while they're doing this they're monitoring your blood pressure and pulse throughout this test. And then there's a couple other tests that they actually monitor your perspiration based on chemical and electrical stimulation. [00:04:47][24.0] Lita: [00:04:48] Did anything help relieve your symptoms before you were actually diagnosed. Anything that you could help yourself to feel better. [00:04:56][8.1] Jean: [00:04:57] Moving slowly taking time to get up slowly and staying hydrated. And then my doctors also prescribed support stockings and an abdominal binder to help keep my blood pressure up. But I had no control over when I would faint. [00:05:11][14.1] Ron: [00:05:12] Well how bad did it actually get before the doctor diagnosed you. And what was the worst symptom you had to deal with. [00:05:19][6.3] Jean: [00:05:19] Well when I would faint I would often get hurt as I said before I fractured my skull and my kneecap. I also tore all of the tendons and ligaments off of my ankle. And last year this time I bruised my spleen when I fainted into a fire pit. [00:05:33][13.5] Lita: [00:05:35] Did anything help with that symptom at the time. [00:05:37][2.1] Jean: [00:05:38] I was told to limit my activities and they actually prescribed that I use a wheelchair and sug, suggested that I use a wheelchair for transportation. [00:05:46][7.7] Lita: [00:05:48] OK well moving ahead to when you actually were diagnosed. How did you feel when you found out what was actually going on. [00:05:55][7.8] Jean: [00:05:56] I was relieved. They said that medication might help and that I needed to drink more caffeine and increase my salt intake. So coffee and fries with salts. [00:06:05][9.2] Ron: [00:06:06] All right. Now I understand that POTs is a type of dysaoutotomia a dysfunction of the nerves that regulate the body's involuntary body functions such as the heart rate blood pressure and sweating. There are many causes from autoimmune disease to inherited disorders and viruses that damage the nervous system. Also mass cell disorders to spinal injury. And that's just naming a few of them. Did you discover what caused your condition and was there an actual starting point for this disorder. [00:06:40][33.3] Jean: [00:06:41] Yes I suffered a rather serious head neck and shoulder injury and that was when I started having my symptoms and that is what caused me to get POTs. [00:06:51][9.4] Lita: [00:06:52] What types of doctors or specialists did you see before you were actually diagnosed. [00:06:56][4.2] Jean: [00:06:57] I have over the past 18 years I've seen a wide range of medical specialists from almost every discipline. [00:07:03][5.2] Lita: [00:07:04] Okay. Now you're from the Chicago area as we know and we have a good selection of health care providers close by. Did you find what you needed here close to home or did you have to travel looking for expertise. [00:07:16][12.0] Jean: [00:07:17] Well although there are amazing physicians right here in Chicago I did receive a lot of care out-of-state as well from everywhere from Stanford, Walter Reed. All the way to the east coast and in New York. [00:07:32][15.4] Ron: [00:07:34] Was there a time you had to be hospitalized either because of the POTs or because of an injury you occurred after passing out. [00:07:40][6.6] Jean: [00:07:41] Yes I have been to the E.R. and hospitalized and more than one occasion. [00:07:44][3.1] Lita: [00:07:46] And do you have to take a lot of medication. [00:07:47][1.2] Jean: [00:07:48] Well I am more than some people less than others I take medications that actually help keep my blood pressure up and I actually take salt tablets every day. [00:07:57][8.8] Ron: [00:07:58] Has anything else changed since your diagnosis. [00:07:59][1.4] Jean: [00:08:01] Well unlike most people I have to load up on caffeine and salts. And so that's a little bit unusual because most times they tell you to cut those two. But walking is still very important and I just have to be very careful. And then there are certain diet restrictions I drink about one hundred and forty four ounces of water a day which is a bit more than average I think. And I have to you know monitor my blood pressure Maintain a healthy diet and take the time extra time when I'm getting up from either lying or sitting down to standing so that my blood pressure doesn't fall and I don't faint. [00:08:36][35.5] Lita: [00:08:37] OK. Does anything make your life easier. [00:08:40][2.5] Jean: [00:08:40] Well last year I received a recumbent bike from an organization called Ride to Recovery and that's allowed me to get you know the chance to get outside feel the fresh air and have a bit of fun. [00:08:50][9.1] Lita: [00:08:50] Well sure why not. Everybody should. I think they call it recreational therapy don't they Ron. [00:08:55][4.7] Ron: [00:08:55] Yeah I think you're right. [00:08:56][0.8] Jean: [00:08:57] Oh- from the two recreational therapists. [00:08:58][1.5] Ron: [00:09:00] You're stuck with us. [00:09:00][0.6] Lita: [00:09:00] Yeah. What would you like our audience to know about POTs. [00:09:03][2.8] Jean: [00:09:05] I guess that it's good for everyone to keep in mind that you're not always going to see someone's health condition or problem that some problems are as they say like invisible. So don't judge people just on what you see. [00:09:15][10.6] Ron: [00:09:16] All right since you're the expert here what advice might you have for our listeners. [00:09:21][4.7] Jean: [00:09:22] Well I definitely think it's a good idea to keep a list of all your symptoms. And even though it sounds a bit redundant go over the same list with every single doctor you see. [00:09:31][8.5] Ron: [00:09:32] OK Jean thank you so much for sharing your story on today's show. If any of our listeners out there have POTs we'd love to hear from you. [00:09:40][7.8] Jean: [00:09:40] Or pot. [00:09:41][0.1] Ron: [00:09:42] Oh no. [00:09:42][0.1] Lita: [00:09:42] no, no pot. I umm, We might be doing an episode on pot. [00:09:45][2.3] Jean: [00:09:46] OK. [00:09:46][0.0] Ron: [00:09:47] But that would be later. [00:09:47][0.5] Lita: [00:09:48] Yes. [00:09:48][0.0] Ron: [00:09:48] Today we're still talking about POTs. [00:09:49][0.6] Lita: [00:09:49] Yes. Yes. [00:09:49][0.2] Jean: [00:09:49] Oh OK sorry. [00:09:50][0.6] Ron: [00:09:51] OK. on with the show. If you would like to suggest a future podcast topic maybe pot. Visit our website at podcast D X dot com. [00:10:00][9.0] Lita: [00:10:00] And if you have any questions or comments related to today's show you can contact us at podcast D X at Yahoo dot com through our Web site or on Facebook Instagram Pinterest or Twitter. [00:10:13][12.4] Ron: [00:10:14] And if you have a moment to spare please give us a five star review on iTunes podcast app. We'd really appreciate it. [00:10:21][6.8] Lita: [00:10:21] Thank you. [00:10:21][0.0] [534.4]

See Transcription of this recording below pic. The first episode feature two kidney recipients.  Rodney Fleming, a retired Fire Captain from downstate Illinois and his sister Danell Fleming Kreher, an RN (Registered Nurse).  I first met this family in the winter of 2009/10 through a website called Matching Donors.   Transcription PodcastDX Kidney Transplant Episode 1.mp3   Jean Marie [00:00:16] Hello and welcome to podcast DX. This show that brings you interviews with people just like you whose lives were forever changed by a diagnosis.  Lita [00:00:26] I'm Lita,.  Ron [00:00:27] I'm Ron.  Jean Marie [00:00:28] And I'm Jean Marie.  Lita [00:00:29] Collectively we are the hosts of podcast dx. This podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice diagnosis or treatment. Always ask the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider for any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or treatment. And before undertaking any new health care regimen never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on this podcast. I am here with Darnell and Rodney and  they're  siblings. Whom have both received kidney donations at least once.  Lita [00:01:13] Hello and thank you for being on our show.  Danell & Rod [00:01:16] Thank you.  Rod [00:01:16] Glad you're here.  Lita [00:01:18]  How long has it been since your transplants Danell years was a long time Right?.  Danell [00:01:23] Mine was in early April. I will be coming up on 17 years.  Lita [00:01:29] 17 years.  Lita [00:01:30] And you only had the one? Ok,  Danell [00:01:31] And only half one.  Lita [00:01:32] . OK. And Rodney?  Rod [00:01:34] My first transplant was in nineteen ninety four.  Lita [00:01:38] OK.  Rod [00:01:39] Second one was in 2010. Was that right?  Danell [00:01:46] Do you remember Lita?  Lita [00:01:47] No I don't actually. I don't. So 94' was the first one...  Rod [00:01:53]  No. 2014.  Lita [00:01:55] OK. All right. So. What what caused the first one to fail?  Rod [00:01:59] Well it's Darnell and my brother and I and Dad it's all the same "All Ports".  Lita [00:02:06] OK.  Rod [00:02:07] All Ports.  Lita [00:02:08] That's a.   [00:02:08] Yes it's an immune problem. Your body attacks your kidney.  Lita [00:02:13] OK.  Rod [00:02:13] Like some people  have a problem with that their body attacking their heart. Lita [00:02:17] Sure.  Rod [00:02:17] Our is our kidney.  Lita [00:02:19] OK so. Is there any new stem cell therapy or anything that can help you, like,  alleviate this so that your kidneys are....  Rod [00:02:29] Well I wouldn't work on us anyway. You might get to work on somebody whose kidney isn't already shot.  Lita [00:02:37] OK. OK  Rod [00:02:38] But there's no bringing ours back.  Lita [00:02:40] OK.  Danell [00:02:41] Yeah, But I don't know about the, like the stem cell. I don't know. That's a good question.  Lita [00:02:47] I'm just.  Danell [00:02:48] Doing research into that to see, I mean you know they're using it for a lot of things now.  Lita [00:02:53] Right.  Rod [00:02:53] Well the stem cell research now I think is mainly trying to grow.  Lita [00:02:58] New ones?  Rod [00:02:59] New ones,.  Danell [00:02:59] Yeah.  Rod [00:03:00] But you know you can't you can't. Bring a rock back. Lita [00:03:03] No. But I'm just concerned that from, you know, like the first one that you got. Failed because your body is still attacked it. Right? The All Ports attacked it?  Rod [00:03:11] Essentially. Well I'm not so sure it was that so much as just transplanted kidneys don't last forever.  Lita [00:03:21] OK.  Danell [00:03:22] I got like a, 10 year,.  Lita [00:03:24] Warranty?  Rod [00:03:24] well,.  Danell [00:03:25] Well for that's the average,.  Rod [00:03:27] For average. Correct. And mine lasted ten years.  Lita [00:03:30] OK.  Danell [00:03:30] Almost to the month.  Rod [00:03:32] Yeah.  Lita [00:03:32] And Danell, yours has been 17 years?  Danell [00:03:35] Yes I've been 17.  Lita [00:03:37] Where did you get the deluxe model?  Danell [00:03:38] I think I might have! (laughter)  Rod [00:03:39] Well I think hers was a better match than mine was mine was. Just a mediocre match hers and my brothers are both have pretty good matches.  Lita [00:03:48] OK.  Danell [00:03:48] Yeah they told me that mine was as good of a match as that one my kids had given it to me, so.  Lita [00:03:53] OK. OK.  Lita [00:03:54] So yes, so that that's probably important too.  Danell [00:03:58] Yeah.  Lita [00:03:59] And the the last one that you got from me that one also failed.  Rod [00:04:05] Yeah.   [00:04:05] So now. Youre back on Dialysis?  Rod [00:04:07] Yeah, That one didn't last very long at all. I think with all the antibodies that I had from the first one it makes it more difficult to match the second one. And also Barnes did not put me on prednisone the second time around which I think had a lot to do with killing it.  Lita [00:04:28] Wow.! They didn't.?  Rod [00:04:30] No, they don't believe in prednisone,.  Danell [00:04:32] They don't do it, So my brother, that had his out in Idaho which has just been about five years for him. It's never never done the prednisone thing..  Lita [00:04:41] Hmmm, Well I know Gina just had her liver and she was on prednisone  for probably 60 days.  Danell [00:04:49] Really?  Rod [00:04:49] Well I was on when they put my first one in I was on massive doses of prednisone but eventually got me down,.  Lita [00:04:57] weaned you down.  Rod [00:04:57] To a maintenance dose. And I had that the whole time I had my first kidney.  Lita [00:05:03] I don't know if Gina's taking it still or not but I know in the beginning she took.  Danell [00:05:06] . Yeah.  Lita [00:05:07] A lot.  Danell [00:05:07] And they might have with Scott too (Scott is their brother in Idaho). But I know that really we can back from the long term use,  Rod [00:05:12] When I got the second kidney, of course they didn't put me on prednisone. And after a few months it started dying off. While, while it was deteriorating, I was put on prednisone for a totally nother reason. Lita [00:05:31] . OK.  Rod [00:05:33] And it almost stopped the deterioration of the kidney. But at that point I was about 90 percent shot already.  Lita [00:05:42] OK.  Rod [00:05:43] I am convinced. If they had put me on the prednisone initianally. Your kidney would have lasted me a lot longer.  Lita [00:05:50] Okay.  Rod [00:05:50] Because once I got on the prednisone the deterioration almost stopped.  Lita [00:05:56] But it was too late.  Rod [00:05:57] It was too late. Plus,.  Lita [00:05:59] Did you mention that to them? Like you know...  Rod [00:06:00] Well after is too late.  Lita [00:06:01] No. but I mean,.  Rod [00:06:01] But if I  didn't realize what was going on.  Lita [00:06:04] Yeah. And I'm just thinking for future people you know like maybe they should change their ways,.  Rod [00:06:07] yeah, well, tell them that, they don't want...  Lita [00:06:10] I know but, I mean, part of, part of education in the medical community I think is feedback from the patients so that they know what works what doesn't work.  Rod [00:06:20] What ended up happening then I had to have heart surgery.  Lita [00:06:26] Oh right,.  Rod [00:06:26] And of course they had to have the MRI's with contrast, which is a big no no for.  Lita [00:06:33] That kills the kidneys,.  Rod [00:06:34] Kidney Patients but at that point they had to do it and that finished the kidney off.  Lita [00:06:40] Sure. ok,  Danell [00:06:41] Did you, You had gone back on dialysis but you were still having some benefits of your kidney.  Rod [00:06:48] Yeah. I was still putting out.  Danell [00:06:50] We are convinced it was because he had gotten on that prednisone while.  Rod [00:06:52] I was still putting out a good bit of urine.  Danell [00:06:57] It lasted whai?  Maybe about a year?  Rod [00:06:58] Maybe yeah,.  Danell [00:06:59] Just before you had to have your heart surgery.  Rod [00:07:01] Yeah. Finished it off.  Danell [00:07:03] Yeah. Even though he had lost a lot of the benefit from your kidney it still you know we continue to have some.  Rod [00:07:09] Oh I was still putting out about eight hundred milliliters a day, which I  wasn't having to watch my fluid anywhere near like I do now.  Lita [00:07:18] OK,  How often do you go for dialysis now?  Rod [00:07:22] Three times a week.  Lita [00:07:24] oh, ok, What. What symptoms made you realize, I know it's a long time ago when you first realize that you had problems but what symptoms were there that made you think I've got a problem with my kidney.  Rod [00:07:38] None. My, our father had kidney failure.  Lita [00:07:43] OK,.  Rod [00:07:43] So in the process of they were trying to fight figure out why I had high blood pressure. I found out my kidney was already 25 percent shot 10 years before. They failed.  Lita [00:08:01] OK.  Rod [00:08:01] Completely.  Lita [00:08:01] So most you most many of these symptoms.  Rod [00:08:03] No. Most people do not realize what's going on until it's too late.  Lita [00:08:10] Hmm, So you're a little like high blood pressure a hidden thing right.  Rod [00:08:12] Your body compensates and people don't realize it's going, a lot of people, when they if they find out they have kidney failure when they're in the hospital. Because they get you get flu like symptoms they get feeling just totally run down. That's when they find out. I knew for 10 years ahead of time it was coming.  Lita [00:08:35] Because of your dad.  Rod [00:08:36] Because my dad.  Danell [00:08:37] Right.  Lita [00:08:37] And when your dad was diagnosed they found out that it was a genetic problem. Correct?  Rod [00:08:44] No.  Danell [00:08:45] Actually they didn't find out because dad was. He was just diagnosed with kidney failure.  Lita [00:08:50] OK.  Danell [00:08:50] They thought it was all brought on by hardening of the arteries.  Lita [00:08:53] OK.  Danell [00:08:53] Then Rodney when they had diagnosed him again just kidney failure. When. When I started showing signs. The doctor we all had the same nephrologists.  Lita [00:09:04] Right,.  Danell [00:09:04] You know he's like... hmmmm?  Lita [00:09:05] yeah yeah.  Danell [00:09:07] So actually I went and got the biopsy that diagnosis with the All Ports.  Lita [00:09:12] OK. And what is all ports Exactly?  Danell [00:09:14] It's a slow. It's an auto immune but it's just basically a slow deterioration of the glomeruli of the kidney, which is just basically the body.  Lita [00:09:22] The filter .  Danell [00:09:23] Yeah,.  Lita [00:09:23] OK.  Danell [00:09:24] Yeah it's a filtering system of the kidney, and there's you know.  Lita [00:09:27] They haven't come up with a cure for that.  Danell [00:09:30] That's one of the things that happens.  Lita [00:09:32] and all of your, You have one brother?  Danell [00:09:36] Mhmm.  Lita [00:09:36] Besides Rodney? and he has it as well.  Danell [00:09:38] Right, He has. Yes.  Lita [00:09:39] And he's had a transplant.  Rod [00:09:40] He's had a transplant.  Danell [00:09:42] He had a living donor transplant.  Rod [00:09:44] He was eleven years younger than me. So. Plus I, it progressed fairly rapidly. For me I went,. I went on dialysis when I was fortytwo. They made it closer to 50.  Lita [00:09:58] OK.  Rod [00:09:59] Our father was 50.  Danell [00:10:01] Yeah.  Lita [00:10:05] So umm, just to let the listening audience know, umm, possible symptoms are decreased urine output. Fluid retention swelling in your legs ankles and feet drowsiness shortness of breath fatigue confusion nausea and in severe cases seizures or coma and chest pressure that's probably from the fluid.  Rod [00:10:31] Well like I said, most..  Lita [00:10:33] You didn't have, you just felt flu ish.  Rod [00:10:35] Most people do not realize that's going on until the last minute.  Lita [00:10:41] OK.ok,.  Rod [00:10:41] They. They get flu like symptoms. They feel like crap and they go into hospital and they. Well your kidneys have quit.  Lita [00:10:49] So then what relief do they have? At that point.  Rod [00:10:52] Emergency dialysis.  Lita [00:10:54] OK. So once you have the dialysis does that take care of the symptoms.  Rod [00:11:01] Largely.  Danell [00:11:03] Which is really kind of what happened with my dad. He just you know. Started getting very ill. I don't remember what symptoms he had. But then at that point they just have. I don't know. you know,They. Checked. His kidney functioning was all and decrease the numbers. Lab numbers were elevated. We actually took him down to. Houston to a hospital down in Houston and that's where they figured out what was going on and basically he was just in kidney failure. So they did emergency dialysis they put a graft in his arm but they can't you can't use that for a while. It has to...  Rod [00:11:46] Emergency dialysis. They put a port in your central vein in your chest and they use that, that's meant to be temporary. They don't like to use them long term. Because too much risk of infection.  Lita [00:12:01] Sure sure. Anything close to the heart is. That what. Well you got your heart eventually?  Rod [00:12:05] No. No. I just. Just another {unable to transcribe}.  Lita [00:12:12] That will be a podcast in the future.(laughter) OK. One thing that we like to discuss with the patients that we're we're interviewing is caregiving in the home. After the procedure and equipment that might have helped you to recover after the procedure. Now as a kidney donor I know that you know, there were some things that assisted me on my recovery but and on the receiving end what. What did you guys do to to help you get over the hump when you got home from the hospital?  Rod [00:12:50] I initially started doing peritoneal dialysis that as most people think of hemodialysis where they directly clean the blood peritoneal, they put a port in my abdomen, you put fluid in your abdomen, it dwells, it draws the poison, the chemicals off and you change the flood periodically. I did that for years.  Lita [00:13:24] oh, Now, Is that when you say the fluid goes in is it into a vein or is it just a cavity?  Rod [00:13:30] It goes into the abdominal cavity and it by osmosis it draws the stuff off. OK. The toxins and the fluid off in your body.  Lita [00:13:41] OK.  Rod [00:13:41] I did that all together eight years.  Lita [00:13:45] OK. And is that the one that you do at home? Rod [00:13:48] That's what I do at home. Yeah.  Lita [00:13:49] So you. From what I remember you hooked yourself up to a machine at night and you just let it run.  Rod [00:13:56] Yes initially the first year and a half for my first transplant I did it manually and hung a bag of dialysate, it ran it into my abdomen, put it in leave it in here about three or four hours drain that bag out. Put another bag again. I do that three or four times a day.  Lita [00:14:18] And this is something that you could handle yourself. They trained you and you didn't have any problem doing this at home.  Rod [00:14:23] Right.  Lita [00:14:24] Because it sounds very.  Danell [00:14:27] It was,.  Lita [00:14:28] Technical. Yeah it sounds scary, It sounds...  Rod [00:14:31] I after the I lost the first transplanted kidney, I end up doing what is called a cycler, where the machine does that for you. But I was on I had to be on that nearly 11 hours every night and course you can't go anywhere until it is done.  Lita [00:14:54] OK.  Rod [00:14:54] Well after six years of that my second transplant, lost the second transplant, I started doing it.  Lita [00:15:03] Sure.  Rod [00:15:03] I never slept well. Now it works better for other people. It didn't, I was tired doing it, all the work that goes with it. All the supplies. It's a constant job. This with hemodialysis I can go to Matt.(?). Go to the dialysis unit three times a week. They run me for three and a half hours. I'm done, done for two days. You don't have to mess with it anymore.  Lita [00:15:31] So it's like an oil change.{laughter}.  Rod [00:15:33] Pretty much yes pretty much.  Danell [00:15:36] But as far as like after the surgery I actually I did very well. I mean I was only forty seven. I was I was active,. {lost audio}  Rod [00:15:48] Are you ready?.  Lita [00:15:48] Yeah go right ahead.  Rod [00:15:50] When you get your transplant it's like you have an immense amount of energy for a good year. After my first transplant I was just Energizer bunny. I was working two jobs, taking care of my kids, and sleep in about five hours a night. God, I had just an immense amount of energy. That's, you start to come back to normal after a while but your body has become so used to having no energy.  Lita [00:16:24] OK.  Rod [00:16:24] Once this happens you just feel great.  Lita [00:16:31] ok.  Rod [00:16:31] you feel, really great.  Danell [00:16:35] I know talking about symptoms before,  It just all comes along so gradually that you don't realize you're feeling bad.  Rod [00:16:45] Yeah.  Danell [00:16:46] And then that you're tired.  Lita [00:16:50] It's draining.  Rod [00:16:51] Well that's it, after your, after your transplant and you feel so great. Then you realize how terrible you were.  Lita [00:16:58] You were before,.  Danell [00:16:59] Right.  Rod [00:16:59] Right.  Danell [00:16:59] And I also noticed things like my hair thickening back up after the transplant my nails getting hard after the transplant. Things that had started deteriorating maybe just over such a long period of time you just didn't notice it. Yeah. Afterwards you know after his first one, and then with mine, as far as recovery at home and action was very easy. I went back to work after five weeks and I'm a surgica nurse. So you know really very active and intense. You know. But we were both healthy. You know going into wealthy going into young and we had so many dialysis patients are on dialysis because they are diabetic.  Lita [00:17:42] OK.  Rod [00:17:43] And so they're fighting they're fighting that complication also. We didn't have that.  Lita [00:17:48] OK. So if someone had diabetes on top of the kidney failure.  Rod [00:17:53] oh yeah,.  Lita [00:17:53] They've got just another hurdle. That they've got to jump over  Danell [00:17:56] Right, right.  Lita [00:17:56] In order to heal.  Danell [00:17:58] Yes. Much more difficult in the healing process,  Rod [00:17:59] About actually .  Rod [00:18:01] About 30 percent of dialysis patients are there because they are diabetic.  Lita [00:18:06] OK. OK.  Rod [00:18:08] I worked for 10 years as a fireman on one kidney. Did great.  Lita [00:18:14] OK well one kidney working well I can tell you does, OK.  Rod [00:18:19]  Oh yeah yeah.  Lita [00:18:22] I've got no complaints  Danell [00:18:25] We're not the only ones getting by with one kidney  Rod [00:18:26] Unless you think you want to be a marathoner I don't think you would notice the difference.  Lita [00:18:30] Yeah I would never do that,.  Rod [00:18:31] It would just be a slower recovery.  Lita [00:18:35] OK.  Rod [00:18:36] Cause You'd wear yourself out. But like I said as a fireman I didn't notice it.  Lita [00:18:42] OK. Are you worried Danell, that you might be up for another one soon?.  Danell [00:18:46] You know I was around 10 years because basically Rodney like I said lost year at 10 years almost to the month. But you know it's 17 now. My last doctor's visit down was down at Barnes, and I've just been doing so well they're like you know which I had been going there just once a year for several years. And they're like that come back for two years now I still get I get my blood drawn every other month and it all gets into Barnes. So they you know they're watching that closely but you know they're like to come back for two years you're doing great. Because I have not once had any concerns about rejection that they're like you know you can put this on.  Rod [00:19:32] Well and the better the better your match the fewer drugs you have to take.  Lita [00:19:37] OK. OK.  Danell [00:19:38] And mine also was I had a cadaver donor and she was a same age I was.  Lita [00:19:48] OK.  Danell [00:19:48] So you know basically I've got you know it's not like I { un-able to transcribe}.  Lita [00:19:53] Yes it grows with you, right. OK. I wanted to discuss a little bit about the the different regions that you can apply for when you're getting a, an Organ, and I know that Rodney your daughter posted an ad on Matching Donors dot com for the second one in order to actually expand your reach when you were looking for a donor.  Rod [00:20:22] Well it is when you get on the list you're waiting for them to find you a donor Matching Donors dot com, dot com as a way for you to find your own donor.  Lita [00:20:35] You're like advertising.  Rod [00:20:36] Essentially. Yeah.  Danell & Rod [00:20:37]  Right. right  Danell [00:20:39] Yeah. We put a, you know, told all about Rod you know his his life as a fireman.  Lita [00:20:47] Yeah actually I remember. I mean you know my memory is pretty crap,  {laughter} but I actually still remember how strongly the emotions hit me when I read your ad.  Danell [00:21:01] Awwe  Lita [00:21:02] That I said "why wouldn't somebody have given this guy one already, for crying out loud. Get him on the phone."  Rod [00:21:10] Well of course we never put this forth before you when you're on the list. You're waiting for someone to die.  Lita [00:21:18] Right.  Rod [00:21:19] It's not a question of. I'll give you mine.  Lita [00:21:23] Right. But the matching donors allows living.  Danell [00:21:27] Right.  Lita [00:21:28] Donors to donate a part of a liver or a whole kidney.  Rod [00:21:32] And of course my daughter was fantastic. She did all of that. I did nothing. She talked to different various people about me. At least two of them hinted around about being compensated which technically is illegal in this country.  Lita [00:21:51] Right. Right.  Rod [00:21:52] So she told them "Forget it". But she found you, or you found me.  Lita [00:21:58] Yeah. I found the ad and I was,  and it was, it was convenient that you were in Illinois. There wasn't a lot of transportation involved. You know I can imagine that some people that are are looking nationwide it might be a little bit more difficult.  Rod [00:22:15] Sure,.  Lita [00:22:15] If you have to commute or whatever. But ours was perfect. How long were you on dialysis the first time before you got to the.  Rod [00:22:25] Before the first transplant I was on dialysis for a year and a half. They found me a cadaver. OK after the first transplant failed I was on dialysis for six years before I got together with you. That one only lasted 10 months. Right now I've been on dialysis about another six years.  Lita [00:22:50] OK. And Danielle how long were you on dialysis before I act.  Danell [00:22:54] Oh I never had to go on for hours. Oh OK. Was that on the transplant list because now they will put you on it before you get on dialysis. Back when Rodney first started you had to actually be on dialysis before they would put you on. Yes. OK. I I think they figured out hey if we can get him going before the dialysis so I put on a list and told that I would have to be on dialysis within a year and actually it was four months.  Rod [00:23:24] She was getting at the point she was getting pretty rundown.  Lita [00:23:28] So it was it was like getting close to where you would.  Rod [00:23:30] Yeah. It was real close.  Danell [00:23:32] There four months is just really even the doctors were like "you were on that list. how long?". Like four months.  Lita [00:23:38] Right.  Danell [00:23:38] I had a rare blood type and I think well some real rare but I was Rh negative. So I think that could have gone either way. Sure it could have kept me on the list longer or.  Lita [00:23:50] If nobody else can take it right.  Danell [00:23:52] . Give me that one kidney that no one else could take. So yes I was blessed in that it was only four months.  Lita [00:24:00] Have there been any dietary changes to either of you since the transplants have you had to do anything,.  Rod [00:24:06] Well once you've had a transplant. No. If you're on dialysis it's extreme.  Lita [00:24:14] As far as sodium right?  Rod [00:24:15] Sodium. The main thing is phosphorous and potassium.  Lita [00:24:20] OK.  Rod [00:24:21] Dialysis does not rate remove phosphorus and it doesn't do a very good job removing potassium.  Lita [00:24:29] OK. Are those good or bad?  Rod [00:24:32] Well they're.... You know.  Danell [00:24:33] They're bad, if they {un-able to translate}.  Lita [00:24:34] Oh OK. So the levels to be high. Right. And your kidney normally takes care of those.  Rod [00:24:39] Correct.  Lita [00:24:39] OK I see.  Rod [00:24:40] The phosphorus level if you've got an excess of phosphorus it settles in your feet and I have neuropathy in my feet because that has destroyed the peripheral nerve endings in my feet. So it's more difficult for me to walk potassium that gets out of whack. It messes up your heart. That can be real serious.  Lita [00:25:08] Sure. But they keep an eye on it.  Rod [00:25:10] And then they keep an eye on it.  Lita [00:25:11] And medication to adjust levels or the.  Rod [00:25:14] . Well that's why take massive amounts of phosphorus binders when I eat the potassium the dialysis will remove it. To some extent but I've got to stay away from my potassium fluids.  Lita [00:25:29] Sounds like you guys have to turn into nutritionists in order to stay healthy as I.  Danell [00:25:36] Basically eat just like you can. We each have one kidney one good working kidney. So I mean you know you have to be intelligent about it it's just as much as you would in it you know hey what do you want in your body. But yeah. That's the great thing.  Lita [00:25:51] Well that's good.  Rod [00:25:52]  Like I can eat whatever I want.  Rod [00:25:54] Oh yeah I know when I had my first transplant I I would not. You do not know you're working on one kidney.  Lita [00:26:05] You mean you don't feel that.  Rod [00:26:07] I don't feel. And you're really no dietary limitations because of it.  Lita [00:26:13] Because the kidney's working well.  Rod [00:26:14] Right.  Lita [00:26:16] Are there any support groups or organizations that have been of assistance for either of you?  Rod [00:26:22] No,.  Danell [00:26:23] That we kind of chose not to. I mean basically that guy right there was our support group.  Rod [00:26:28] That's true.  Lita [00:26:29] Well  luckily you had each other and you kind of get experience. Also with your dad going through it up before.  Danell [00:26:34] We've been through a lot,.  Lita [00:26:35] And you being a nurse I'm sure that helped.  Danell [00:26:36] Yeah. Yeah. There are you know support groups out there. OK. And the hospital would recommend them. Right. I'm sure Barnes and even at one point asked if I would consider you know kind of being a mentor. But that's a you know from central Illinois it's like a two and a half hour drive. So it really wasn't feasible for me to do it.  Lita [00:26:57] Sure.  Danell [00:26:57] but. Yes.  Lita [00:26:59] And how about through dialysis facility do you notice that anybody there that might need you know like encouragement or advice or  Rod [00:27:10] I dont know,.  Lita [00:27:10] Not really advice but support as they're going.  Rod [00:27:12] Oh there probably is I'd like to Danell said, they they have people that you can do that with. I'm not a joiner. {laughter}.  Lita [00:27:19] Okay.  Rod [00:27:19] Leave me alone. {laughter}  Lita [00:27:20] Okay.  How about medical equipment supplies or other tools that you've found particularly helpful when dealing with kidney disease.  Rod [00:27:33] No, other than, Like I said the peritoneal dialysis was a big burden. But I like I. That's why I like prefer the hemodialysis now because I can go to the unit get it done leave it. All I have to do is watch my diet.  Lita [00:27:56] OK.  Rod [00:27:56] And my fluids.  Danell [00:27:57] We'r,e after this second one and that kind of started going downhill. And we're different things that you know at one point he had to use a walker and he got to the cane.  Rod [00:28:09] Well that was. I greatly blame the nephrologist I had at the time I kept asking him why is this happening. And he had no answer or he wouldn't give me one.  Danell [00:28:24] And you're talking about your being so bad.  Rod [00:28:26] Yeah. I was almost to the point of being in a wheelchair.  Lita [00:28:29] OK.  Rod [00:28:30] And when Darnell helped me we get got a neurologist. Twenty seconds he told me what was going on.  Lita [00:28:40] OK.  Rod [00:28:40] So I adjusted my diet and they got considerably better. Oh all right. But I am. I still have a problem walking.  Lita [00:28:49] OK.  Danell [00:28:51] We have a.. He has a shower chair/ stool now that helps him a lot in the shower, because his legs are still weak to a point.  Lita [00:29:01] Wobbly?  Danell [00:29:01] I think I think I {un-able to translate} at one point I brought it back so that I could have it.  Lita [00:29:07] OK.  Danell [00:29:07] . You know just because of you know after this surgery you're just you know you're tired. You have major surgery.  Lita [00:29:13] Sure sure.  I, I know that they also make like almost like support bars that go in the toilet area that can help you get up and down do you need anything like that?.  Rod [00:29:25] Of course I do. I do not. I don't sit in the tub, it's too hard for me to get up.  Lita [00:29:29] OK. You just shower?.  Rod [00:29:30] Stand. So although I do sit on that stool she is talking about in the shower but I don't get down in the tub.  Lita [00:29:38] How about a handheld shower that you can be removed from.  Rod [00:29:41] No.  Lita [00:29:41] Have you ever tried one of those that you attach afterwards?  Danell [00:29:44] I actually have one.  Lita [00:29:45] . Do you. .  Danell [00:29:46] You know there again it's like, I'm not, you know incapacitated in any way but yeah I'll let you know as being a nurse and having worked in nursing homes for you know back years ago. Yeah. Things like that are awesome.  Lita [00:30:02] OK great. Great. Well I want to thank you both for all of that information. You probably wouldn't realize how much it means to people to hear the stories of people that have already gone through it. So let's say someone just gets diagnosed and they don't know what to expect. "God I had a kidney disease. What on earth am I up to next". And this way they can hear the podcast they can hear your stories and they can have a little bit of sense of relief say well these two they've gotten through it pretty well and I can certainly get through it and they gave me a couple of Hints and advice and I know what to look for. And it really is helpful so I really want to thank you and I appreciate you taking the time to do this with us today.  Rod [00:30:51] You're welcome.  Rod [00:30:51] We appreciate everything that you've done.  Lita [00:30:54] Oh well it's been an honor.  Rod [00:30:56] Well I've I felt bad that I lost your kidney as much for you as for me. You did. You made that sacrifice and I wasn't able to keep it.  Lita [00:31:06] what? It was not your fault.  Rod [00:31:08] Well this is true but I still felt bad about it.  Lita [00:31:10] Don't worry about it. It's okay. I am going to cut this off now.  Lita [00:31:15] If you have any questions or comments related to today's show you can contact us at podcast D X at Yahoo dot com through our Web site where you can link to our Facebook page and also see more information as we build our site. Please go to podcast D X dot com.  Ron [00:31:36] And for our listeners you have a moment please give us a five star review on item podcast.    

In this week's episode we share our thoughts on Black Panther smashing records, who won at the BAFTAs, and get into our lists. Plus, Mark breaks down the 6 degrees of this years Oscars.

Pretty Little Liars. I did their podcast (@pretttylittlepod and ) and asked if they wanted to be on TDF. “What will you dork out about?” I asked. Without looking at each other they said, “uh. Pretty Little Liars.” OH… OK! So, here we go! They also have another pod called @MurderWeSpoke about Murder She Wrote. Oh yes. And Ben has a pod with his friend Ashton about a short-lived LOGO show called “Noah’s Arc”.” All on iTunes. WELCOME to year TEN of TDF. Voting still open for your favorite episodes of 2015 Premium eps (they cost $2ea) are taped live and available here: I have an hour comedy special out and you can download it here:  or get the DVD on my site. It’s called “This Will Make An Excellent Horcrux” because comedy is all about soul ;) … Own it today and forever. You can also get a dork forest tshirt or any of my CDs or DVD at   USE THE AMAZON banner when you order your own dorky goodness.  Audio leveling by Patrick Brady  Music is by Mike Ruekberg  Website design by Vilmos: Really good Web designs.

In this week’s episode, we cover Apple’s big WWDC event and unpack all the new, and not so new, features that were announced as part of the keynote. Scully reminds us that The X-Files revival is REAL and DAPRA reminds us that robots will one day rule over us, mere humans. All that and more […] The post 18: Apple Music. Oh, Ok. appeared first on Naked Tech Podcast.

Here’s an idea…   …..……nah, I’ve had that one already. Oh OK, here’s another..   1, Yeah Yeah Yeahs-Rockers to […]

Rising out of the late, lamented Athens band Oh-OK, Hetch Hetchy is a name true heads know. The duo of Lynda L. Limner and Jay Totty produced gloriously oblique music which occupied its own uniquely art-damaged space. Swelling their ranks to a sextet onstage, they floated into the SNAP studio on May 31, 1990, in support of their sole full-length album, “Swollen.”

In this first episode I want to share a little bit about my own journey and what it has been like to pursue what I feel God has called me to do. I don’t want to give you the impression that I have in some way “arrived” because that is certainly not the case! I am still always really trying to trust God, never knowing exactly which direction He might want me to go.I have not always been confident in this “calling”. More than anything it was this underlying feeling I had to use my story and gifts to help build God’s Kingdom, but more often than not I struggled with huge fears. Fears that serving Christ in this way was somehow a disappointment to Him, that I was self-deceived, that somehow I was always getting it wrong. The mocking laugh that you might know all too well that says, “And who do you think you are?” was always sitting there, waiting for me. Over time I was so sick and tired of these things holding me back and I would wrestle them out with the Lord. One by one He helped me face these fears, what drove them and where they were rooted in order to start move forward. We’re still in that march in one way or another to this day.The reason I wanted to start this podcast is because over all this time I have done so much research and God has done so much work in me, that once again I want to share in hopes that it might help someone get through more directly, rather than circling the stupid mountain endlessly like I did. I want to help you with the inner things and I want to share what I know about the practical things I have learned a long the way; from blogging, to graphic design, Instagram, to …hey, even starting a podcast!I want to talk about comparison and authenticity, mental health, judging others, or what about, letting our calling become an idol in our lives? Saying we are called to do something sounds so simple, but often we have a hard time connecting those dots on how to get from where we are now, to that thing, whatever it might be and I am hoping this podcast will be a place that will help with that.When we hear the parable of the talents this seems to be the question that Jesus is asking of all of us. “Here this what I have given you, now…what are you going to do with it?” I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find myself telling God all kinds of excuses like, “But God, I didn’t have enough money”, “but God I was never 100% sure”, “but God, not everyone was OK with it and actually a lot of people thought it was super weird”. God’s not going to say, “Oh OK then”. He is going to respond like He did in the parable to the man who was unfaithful with what he had been given. The man was scared and so buried it and the master calls him a wicked servant and takes what he had been given and gives it to someone who had taken steps of faith to do something with it.Listen, I don’t have to be Beth Moore, but I do have to be Ashley, and you don’t have to be anyone else but you do have to be yourself and walk in all of who God made YOU! We won’t know what is the next thing God might have for us if we don’t take the risk of stepping into the obedience of the thing right in front of us. It won’t be easy, it won’t be fast, but we can do it with God’s help and the boldness of the faith He has given us.Let’s get building….READ THE SHOWNOTES:https://www.ashleymorganjackson.com/podcast/2019/10/1/podcast-ep1-my-journey-in-my-calling-amp-why-this-podcastCALLED TO BUILD FB COMMUNITY: https://www.facebook.com/groups/calledtobuildcommunity/CALLED TO BUILD INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/calledtobuild/FREE "WHAT AM I CALLED TO?" WORKBOOK: https://www.ashleymorganjackson.com/calledSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/called-to-build/donations