Podcasts about iambic

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 65:01

“Caddyshack” (A Mumtidimentional Mixtape) {Enter The Multiverse} From Wikipedia: Caddyshack is a 1980 American sportscomedy film directed by Harold Ramis, written by Brian Doyle-Murray, Ramis and Douglas Kenney, and starring Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe and Bill Murray with supporting roles by Sarah Holcomb, Cindy Morgan, and Doyle-Murray. It tells the story of a caddie, vying for a caddie scholarship, who becomes involved in a feud on the links between one of the country club's founders and a nouveau riche guest. A subplot involves a greenskeeper who uses extreme methods against an elusive gopher. Caddyshack was Ramis's directorial debut and boosted the career of Dangerfield, who was previously known mostly for his stand-up comedy. Grossing nearly $40 million at the domestic box office (the 17th-highest of the year),[3] it was the first of a series of similar comedies. The film has a cult following and was described by ESPN as "perhaps the funniest sports movie ever made" SAUCE (IN CASE YOU MISSED IT) —- AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN. OH SHIT! Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy. Oh nooo. Oh, yes. Look at this penny. I see you. Now look into my eyes. I see you, Jesus. Ahahaha! Okay, now what? This shit is twisted I missed the shift of the dimensions— Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies For some cigarettes and swishers, Just to get the picture It's 5 AM again, And it's still Infinite, I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA, Or just living, period— But it is what it is, I work for my rent, I've repented for this, Used to sleep in a tent, But when I was an Infant, I instantly— Wait, a customer walked in. I better help him. Heaven help him. Another level, Call dr. Nevel, Or an Ambulance, I just can't get it Just can't get it, Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess. Took you long enough, didn't it? That took forever. How are you alive? Maybe I'm not. Finally, we agree on something. Oh, this guy Lol. Good to see you again. Likewise, now— Here it goes… As you promised. Working on it. As I promised. Take my heart for granted, Take my soul, If this is loveless Till the end, I just can't manage, having Thoughts of death and tragic ends I haven't Felt the same since Waking up without the day to come ahead; The day has passed again A test, No fail, or pass It's just progressive, In a trance, It's just the stress, It's just to pass the time, I guess, if this is purpose Then, we'll see if this is worth it Now, or never, then Now or never, Never had a friend, All envious at best, This is the end all, In the end, it's just Me and God, And God would want A better body, To have fun I wished it all at once, And then I watched it crumble Oh, I watched it Stumble in, again, my friend I'm different when it's wet, I might not never see the Sun again I might not ever love again Oh well “Oh well” , I said Oh, well, I guess Oh well Okay. One hour left. Okay. Who gets the gold? Hum. Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7. Play Iambic. What, right now? Yeah, play Iambic. Uh… Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with anything else I had written and had yet the advantage of placing anywhere besides my podcast channels, which I constantly thought about cancelling, despite its innumerous downloads—nothing really seemed to matter anymore, as I was trapped in my body, in a loveless world, in a dead-end job and though my bed was clean and comfy, sharing the room wirh 3 others became exhausting. INT. SMOKESHOP. 5:58 AM DREW BARRYMORE … SUPACREE … I'm done. I quit. QUIT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT. Nope. That's it. I quit. You can't quit. I just did. I hadn't quit the music industry—the music industry had quit me. I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, light skinned enough, or willing to do what any of the other girls were to get ahead. WTF is THIS. Since you like to troll so much, I just thought I'd turn you into one This is not Kosher, 199x Jimmy Fallon; Let me out of this plastic —not exactly “fireproof” — death box, before I let myself out, and I trap you in it. But oh, You already did. FIGHT. UGH OH. Ok, rotate. Who is this. Oh shit, hey dude. FUCK, what year is it? MEANWHILE, Under the bridge. …anybody seen this, uh… *Troll* Yee! *Troll* Alright. That's it. Everything checks out. The story was air tight. TIGHT, TIGHT I want you to wear this tonight “The Lady In The Red Dress” You really went all out for this I really didn't. lol Oh I see, You thought this was the matrix. MIT I WISH GOD Wish what. MIT … Mm. Did u see that. See what. ALRIGHT FUCK THIS, YA'LL IT GOT SERIOUS, WHERE'S MY CYCLOPS He called me his cyclops— —-and then he said LIKE GET OUT WHAT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE WHY CAUSE YOURE JUST A PIÑATA, MAN! And I ain't got time for that! I just got a DeLorean And a new HAT I gotta go get Oof. WRECKED. Yo, Wicked. KENDRICK (TODDLER) WIZARD. Oh my. I'm J00F'd up. | | | trance | | | Look; I gotta get out of this MOTHER OF PEARL do not beach this whale carcas on my warehouse project A what A beached whale I know You brought a beached whale to my fucking rave show Oh I get it It's Avant- Guarde No, that's just how I got here …. Trust me, it's okay that This never happened You did not see me It's because I wasn't there Is this U Ū No I wasn't there. Ü I was. Fuck. What happened. It's ok. All I remember is “The Quatardashians” Hmm Also The indigenous But that's it But mostly that was all just Jesus showing off his flexes Are u fasting? Yes, “Ū” is. So, do you need this?! TRUMPP Get rid of this recording imiidiately GOT IT. kill that bitch. SKRILLEX Yessir. —-but before all that happens. …did you want fries with that?! Why are we boycotting McDonald's —for poisoning —the allies —our enemies. Wait, you're eating this? Yes. Like, for fun, or like? No. This is what I'm feeding my children Why Cause they hungry. Uh, ok— —and there's six of them. Aight, ya'll can each have one nugget with your— I wanted a cheese burger! You git hamburgers. Ham. Cheese costs CENTS; And you know your momma If I ain't about a dollar - A dollop of Daisy You really are Ashamed of his Alright, you evil bastards. I see you want to Cause suffering Correct For which you will eternally recurve damnnation and all of the pain you've caused Karmas a bitch It's lonely at the top Not when you're GOD Get off my rock Did you miss an appointment? Nah, can't do it Why what happened Too high up. Whatchu mean So what, it's just like Done. Well, this is it, huh guys. Oh, yeah, it's that, alright This is the longest ride we ever took.d This is the ONLY ride we ever took. I WANNA GET OFF THIS RIDE. I AM REALLY HIGH UP. JUST LET GO. NO. NO. NO. Put me down, kite!!! KITE wtf do you want me to do. I'm a KITE. I'm YOU FUCKIN KIKE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—- Well, I'll be honest, man, this sets you back, some How far back GET GONE, But? We're dinosaurs. Why would something with razor sharp teeth be so— —peaceful, and friendly?? T-REX …cuddles. I just can't fake the feeling( I can't pretend to cry It just comes, when it does But when the well runs dry That's when the the world will end That's when the world will end After this movie, I guarantee we will no longer need the Wilhelm scream AGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! YAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIGGGHHHHHHH UUUUUUUUUUUUU This movie broke the world record for the amount of times the word “No” was screamed NO NOH. NO. ‘No! NOOOOOOOOOOO! NONONO. NOOOOOOOAAAAAHH …No! Here they all come for her, Defended upon New York In order of important, or appearance? One doesn't wonder, At al, of what's to come Uncommon, we are The call has come TRACY My tummy hurts. That's probably because you've been drinking straight tequila for the last hour and a half. No I haven't! This is water! Tequila is YELLOW, Liz Lemon! No, Tracy—that's silver tequila, And regular tequila is, You know what? Nevermind. Alright, who's got the night shift? [nobody raises their hand, at all] Seriously guys?! Come on! COME ON! Look up WHAM! For some reason, idk. Can we just— not do this? No. Out of my mind a bit Speaking in tongues, In total silence Guess it's the times, I guess that's just who I am And who I am is I said I was Sam I'm the same, I said, “Say Uncle” I guess it's a game, we're playing I don't want to be played with At all I just want to feel loved again By someone else Superb, like him I just want to be felt, I guess By someone else That's “Different” I just want to be kissed on the lips A splendid blend of Twisted trysts Let's not pretend It hasn't ended yet Until you've finished it Class dismissed again Let me off of it I just want it to stop Keep rolling Keep rolling your eyes in the back of your head Like you did just morning Just go for a walk Just stop for a moment Run a bath And just keep running Cause here something comes, Of course, It's all your callings Neatly rolling into one, They said But I Just want to be loved again And who doesn't That's the fucked up part I just want to be loved again But nobody ever Just comes up I just want to be loved again It's a walk in the park Don't follow the dog Even if he barks at you It's time to start again I wonder what comes after this part You are the gleaning in the shadows, The reckoning in my eye, The siren in my silence; The green in all the lights, I am a shamed to have just been One of your many One of your many Images, You still have me twisted, I miss you, It's just you, at the end, Again I left you where you left me Solid on solid Sounds are invalid now How are you so Swore by your awesome No more songs, I said No more songs, he's dead to me No more songs! She's inlisted He's uninterested, Isn't this interesting The problem is: I'm still in love with Everyone i've ever been in love with (And I love him) But he doesn't remember my Name And he's famous And she's crazy And he hates her But he made me hate him The day I became you The day I became So famous, I finally made it I'm dead It smells like dill in here At least it doesn't smell like dead mouse. Aha. Youre Hellen. Keller or Mirin How would you be Hellen Miren Cause I'm the Queen. posh. You want to die Well, you better do it quick Better get your shit toggether, paint a l Bigger, better picture Bitter Betty gliching steady Just remember when you're ready Ever steady still forgetting dinner Dessert was already Forget this significance Remind me why I'm on this speeding bullet to nowhere Had no other options but to go under for something Shy, sickness it's a secret Just kill me already Semi robotic, Something like a magnet, attracted, Simply symphonies And soulless bodies, tied to money Wonder what was in the vaccum cleaner meaning What did you suck up, dude Who do you suck up to. When nobody loves you But your own son And the audience is robots Nothing really works more than once, if it's really magic Sit and do nothing would you Like you're supposed to Fall over like the mannequin you are Just a body in my count A mattress without a bespost, if it matters If it matters Doesn't really matter But hey, you know We all go downtown every once or twice a note For Hanukkah I could try to be nice But there's no sense in it, Is there If everything and everyone else is just as nasty As the rest of it Just is just a test, again A doctors office visit. Simple robotics, Or already stocked up for Hanukkah, Hollywood Where's your homeland deposit box Closet full of robots Closest to the moon, I wrote another poem for you Sorry that I wasn't on the offering table The parakeet, pigeon and pirated Slattery, Damages, damages, All with the Amazon packages, Now we're all robots, Aren't we What corporation to you belong to! Something corporate , or say anything Whose to say Jeff Besoz won't replace us With m robots with thought processes, If once such could project as such presence As an AI freestyle Meanwhile, I've got a butload of buckets and bunts, Bullletwounds, eyes on Manhattan and happens to wish something bad upon me When all I wanted is Somebody to love me And someone to love him, If that's what he wanted (But who knows if what he wanted was all of the bodies opposite of him) I don't belong on this planet I belong in the garbage Put me on mars, mom Stop it, You're almost a robot, get out of my peripheral With your mental illness Geez, I must really want a menorah This is the animal house There's no one alive here Set to be slaughters. Honor the box of offerings as Thoughtful words And parallels What could be under your tongue Is the surface of love Just to touch with the battery acid or chemical trails You have left in your axis Nobody knows better than this How close it is to touching Without being loved But nobody loves you Psychotron, sure we're all robots now Nobody loves anymore {Previously, On…} L E G E N D S The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū {Enter The Multiverse} Ascension What the FUCK did you DO? What did I do?! You know what you did! I didn't do anything! Oh yeah? No! Not on purpose! GODDAMMIT, YOU SON OF A— Where's Jimmy Fallon?! What?! I don't know! Oh no. Oh shit, run. Oh no. What in the FUCK— I am “the fuck” You know what. I'm gonna sue the everliving shit out of you. For WHAT. We'll see. Fuck. Uh oh. FUCK. What now? What this time? Apparently, Jimmy Fallon is missing. What the fuck does that got to do with me. We'll see. Okay, great, Now finish that chapter. What fucking chapter?! All of it. That's—a lot. I want all of it. By my desk, by noon tomorrow. “By” your desk?! Yes, BY. Not ON. I've got too much stuff on my desk— …but it's…like 9 o clock. Should be easy, given your natural talents. What natural talents. PEACOCK. AHAHAHAHA. Okay. Well. Well what. This sucks. I lost all my coins. Hey. Ugh. You dropped this. So how was Los Angeles. What the fuck. You fucking DICK. I told you, I own shares in this. So what's the plan for this, exactly. I dunno, Harry. I got a book of stamps, And a yellow envelope marked “Jimmy Fallon” I will hate you forever. Well, that's retarded. I haven't even smited you yet. I will annihilate you, human. WHERE'S MY SHIT. Who the fuck are you, anyway? Nobody! No one. No one cares about this series, yo. I'l seriously doubt that, Jesse Pinkman. What is this stuff. It's your stuff. This is not what I ordered— Hey— Why is it BLUE Cause it is. So. WHY IN THE— Mischief managed. Alright. This should be good for the night, but we gotta get out of here by morning; I thought your parents owned this place. It's a time share! So? So it's like only —part of the time. That is stupid. No! You're stupid! You're the one who got us into this mess. It's your mess, I was just cleaning it up! Whatever! Stop trippin. Nobody's “tripping.” That's it. I'll be a stripper. Straight outta hell, that kid. Don't I know it. Alright, fine. I said, whatever you do— DONT watch this show. Stuff it, J. Slatts. I'll kill you with my eyeballs Sounds like a threat. Put on a lawsuit, then. Maybe I oughtta… —with a bow tie. You'll look so pretty. I thought I was already pretty. Uh huh. Yeah, look, so honestly I don't know if I'll ever be on the same vibration as like, Jimmy Fallon and them, ok? I don't know how I did it; I don't know what did it, It just happened and then— And then WHAT. It just—ended. Just like that. I'm not trying to offend anybody here. Just like that. Now, I ask: What are we going to do to sell you this dream? Doesnt matter what you do, I'll never believe it. Sure, fine; Don't believe it— We're gonna make you live it. Who the hell us “we” anyway? Now you're speaking in my cadence— Don't flatter yourself I like it. Too late, I guess. So, you see We're building Power triangles And love squares Power triangles And love squares Don't let it scare you, There's love there Don't let it scare you, There's love there Never fear where love has dared To call you up there Corrupt file—no fair. Don't be suprised even the odds seem to turn in your favor, I promise you; Nobody's ever ready For what has just happened here. WAKE UP, FUCKER. Ugh, I can't go through this again. So, I guess I'll have to erase, Or just secretly publish Everything I've ever written About my actual experience as a color, Just so that I can earn money As anything other than A slave— A maid, A housekeeper, A dog walker Or servitor So far under her, That I can't see far enough up to just Scratch the surface Her birthright: The entire network And mine, To sit under her, Wondering what the world would be like At the other end of the spectrum The word form of the White woman The wicked witch of all directions, In which I stand in; I'm at her mercy I've been abandoned before But this disservice, is, I'm afraid The best advice I can take is just To go straight to the bank with my angst and my hatred And shove it So here comes the nameless Face I love, Yet, The faceless God, Was Intoxicated, at best— Manipulation of the Mass Media I'm so Seriously jaded In this torture chamber In my corner office In this hall of racists, I claim, but if all is One in the same Then It's one in the same And I'm mainstream I'm famous If it's One in the same Then It's one in the same If it's One in the same Then I'm mainstream I'm so famous In a whole room full of humans I'm groomed to be useful for something, But what? It just hasn't come yet. I could sit down with a paper and pen, But I'm filling up all of my documents With hollandaise and God For what? It's just another song, or something Or something. It's just another — Goddamnit it, more coughs again. I told you not to watch this. Why do I taste pancakes? Maybe you're having a stroke again. Chyeah, a stroke of genius. I'll show you a stroke. Or don't. Well, there goes the captain. where is that scene, anyway? I don't know, I just wrote it. Great, she left the door open. She's got no furniture! It's a “dance floor” It's “the black box” she called it “the black box” Goddamn, do you listen to all her stuff? “Fear stimulates my imagination” Pilot ASOT Fuck man, What is a woman to a man, And an androgynous genius to The industry, or anyone at all If all are foes ans frauds All else is toxic! I woke up with one hand tucked behind my back Feeling dead drunk, I just woke up again But never fell asleep What world am I in? The end of the Dream sequence The end of the energy keeping me between three things: My past, My future And these prequels, Sequels And seeing arrangements And She's going crazy But nobody quite understands That these demons are chasing me saying “You deserved those hands in your face” The scratches on Kayla's back should have had me but I was too fat To find love again And still have something Wonderfully, undone And wrong with me Wrong with me enough to slam poetry So I'm guessing the white women I love beyond words and bounds are— In charge of whatever happens At the top of the rock; So I jumped off. I want to see someone suffer for all that I've done; No, that's dark, and karmic, you know— To go on like that; The confusions and refusal to accept that The album is called ChaosMagick, But the cover is more Urgent, A prose or a pawn of protection Against all the coughs And the reckless mismanagement The hands in my head And the eye on my scar And the lies on my heart So tell me, What happens When you're flying a kite with your heart, And it's broken? What happens to the kite , When you fly it with your heart And your art up in bundles— heartbroken, heartbroken So what come of Miss May, Come January? What come of Miss April By Next December what comes of the words I was saying For no one But everyone heard them And I've been gone Much longer than months, But still stocked up on all that I've wanted Or all that I got Or just, all that I love But got no undercovers to acknowledge no more How right I was Or how wrong I am What come of Miss June, when Miss January comes around? what come now, around August, When March is long forgotten? What comes of the drugs, Of the come ups, and come downs What comes of the process When nothing is served But the surf has come up Somewhere And I just can't love enough To go there I want to go to there I want to be that girl I want to sit at the top of the rock Writing songs, and sipping mock cocktails I want to Don't you know I just want to get back to Where I belong I'm so out of money and love That I want to be Under the train, When it's coming (Sometimes it's just the impulse that says “GO” Then the train starts to slow And my pain bubbles up into a numb, Dumb, crumbling cluster of poetry You know? Or you don't Cause you're all just on your phones Scrolling Some black man stands over me, Reminding me of why I never trust the ones Who want me most, Or just assume, By color code, That I belong to them I'm sorry, I just can't write with your arms around my neck like this Your heart around my arms like this It's so wholesome I had other verses but forgot them They took away my movies for the curses And the hexes That they put on me I said don't. And the king said “Heads will roll” Cause, you know; I've got parts for all of them now, The ones I'd forgotten But come from the catacombs, Back from the conduit You know, This is awful I had another one, But lost it. The king?! Which one. Teas I! No, it wasn't, It was Gían's father, From further off Should I call John back? Which one? Turns out, I love all of them— Turns out, I've got all of them In my college I taught them all to be someone Becoming of acknowledgement With nombres most common Juan, in subcultures, but Beyond that (Or above them) It's John, Or just Jonathan, Watch the ones who drop the consanant; They're always so troublesome, But I took them all up As understudies, Social Studies and some theatrics, Joan of Ark said Two more moments (Two more weeks in) I could have a body worthy Of a Grammy award, but — Would I be a writer then? Probably not, hon— Writers are Off a bit. If you were pretty, ever at all— would you have written this?! If I were pretty at all would there be reason to be this Conflicted? Some of those old New York hallways Haven't been painted In ages Since they made them Don't make that face at me I only dropped my key once On the fourth floor —they're horrible, you know To us, The “brothers” know no love They are destruction, speaking Of this, I got a cold heart. Cold like the robber Cold like the calling I've done in my corner office cold, like the jello mold forming a thought process Worthy enough I might love it like a husband We're re-evaluating your circumstances. Whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. I've got friends at USPS What the fuck could that even account to. Look, I'm gonna have to give this some serious considerations. It's not that serious. It's not that serious. Of course it is! I'm up to my knees in investments! So?! I wade a waiste deep, Surely you can get by “Up to your knees” What exactly do you need? Money. And lots of it. I mean, from me. Money. Really? Leave me alone. I told you not to write this. You're a voice in my head; No, I'm the hand in your mailbox. What in the fuck do you believe in. I believe in everything! They said you were a genius; I didn't expect you to be —at the very least, lucid— *squints* learn some new vocabulary, okay? For what? Dinner. Maybe. We're still in the process of voting. She's crazy. We'd be crazy not to actually hire her. Her accounts are all practically open; We could just take it. Yeah, and when she kills herself, and there's no blood on our hands— There's nothing that can be done about the amount of this stuff that's already printed! Printed?! What?! You mean— She's published? Self-published. My, what a beautiful happenstance To have already had you And awakened atop mattresses Marked for my assassins hand— Polite, I lost you All of us, Atop the rock We stood and suffered Months beyond a montage, Undercover Love was lost, And all's uncertain The interception of God, At the cost of What terror and cutbacks Have caused us all What you lost was $50, a Hallmark Card, an Academy award, a long lost star's phone number, And all that you wanted, The cock of the gun Was the sound that you wondered What was called , then ran off into wonder. How am I gonna make money And become an award winning songwriter Music producer And multidisciplinary artist, Without all the funding it takes to get noviced Without taking clothes off Wake up 10 years younger I'm suffering My stomach was a rubber band My stomach was a rubber band My only song was Water I forgot to stop For the applause I drowned in all the love; right then and there I died of Lovenessness [The Festival Project] The sound and laughter of children play A baby in a basket The basket case at Trader Joe's Who know what happens It just doesn't pull my heartstrings any longer That my son belongs without his mother So I'd better have another This is us, come on. Don't do this to me. Don't do this, Timmy, you'll be sorry. Come on! We're not even in that movie! We are, though; it's still Listen, you've got the right guy for this. Are you sure. Yeah, I promise. Officers, Stop for a *movement [hot cops flash dance number] Fuck, well, that was all wrong. But worth it! What I meant was— God, this show gets good at 31, But I'm only 22, So I guess I'll know how wrong the war was Once we've lost it, Cause imm a man now The episode is over, Soon comes the next episode With snoop dogg, Or not That was our wedding album. Scatterbrained, and pregnant— There she was just putting all the things together That she needed to be Needed To be needed. There she was, All on 4/20 Trying not to do the wrong thing, But what was it? To be loved. Then, There she was at 21 just going off again At some event— A friend, and her Back then could not imagine They'd become him To be someone. Not as one, But of entirely another World apart, aside from Cyclones into snow cones Turns the watchers into artists All their own, And off my own accord Or own account Or done with boredom Dove soap Open doors And clocks that turn the other hand away, Each day you love Manhattan But can't have that. That's it— This is just Season 1 of Mad Men WHERE THE FUCK IS— [she throws her hands above her head in surrender] I don't KNOW! Oh, you're a girl now?! I guess! What's with those pants, then? To hide the assets! What assets?! You look tragic. I'm going for ‘skeleton' to match all your wives and everybody else on the red carpet Who said you get the red carpet? Manhattan. That guy lies! Well how about this: The walk of stars were carved out in blocks of marble All in my honor. 1000/1 You're our God, now. What! I don't want to be God! SUCK IT UP. YOU WON. I don't wanna! Yaaaaaaayyy. You got the award! All the awards! Speech! Speech! SUNNI BLŪ Uh—- I'm drunk, And there's nothing on the teleprompter [a man in the audience coughs] A-HEM. [Sunni Blū immidiateky shoots the coughing man] [multi-camera shots of celebrity audience reactions; laughing, clapping in hilarity as if someone hasn't just died] TAYLOR SWIFT (unmoved at all) SUNNÏ BLŪ I don't know why you're laughing. That was awful. That guy died [audience is insane, super fake as usual] [more cut takes] SUNNÏ BLŪ It should have been you, Taylor. TAYLOR SWIFT (Still unaffected) SUNNI BLU Anyway. I'd like to thank the academy… Cause I am the academy [Audience is celebrities being celebrities] SUNNI BLU You guys are all idiots: I'm a go f*ck myself— And anyone else who wants to show up At my afterparty. Whatever. Peace. [cheesy academy award music plays—Sunnï knocks over the mic, peaces out obnoxiously; the audience cheers wildly and the host returns to the stage.] Who's the host? Whatever. Hey, better than nothin. You're telling me. yeah. I know: Oh, she's a comic? Yeah. I got it. BOB SAGET Ooh, that's good. Ū No—no my God. No Bob Saget, stop it! Wait, Bob Saget is dead right? Last I recall: Fuck—FUCK! Dammit. Dammit, dammit. Okay, Rue— you're up. Rue, what in the— Shhhh, don't let them know I'm in here! Oh, wait— It's me, Blanche. That's hot. I'm a debutant. My god, you're so young. Here, take this, What's that, You'll need that. V.O. I'm being hunted by the ghost of Bob Saget. *haunted. No, hunted! There she is! Grab her! Ooh, Bob Saget. Why, yes. How old are you? Not dead yet! You don't have to kidnap me, I'll happily go with you, sir. Really? Yes. GET IN THE— NOH, GET IN THE VAN. INT. IN THE VAN. [a bunch of hot male celebrities are in the van] Oh. Okay. Wow. That was easy. What is it, Friday. It's Friday and a half. Friday.5 What. There's a Friday movie between 1 and 2 So I guess this is season 8.5 I guess this is season 8.5 HEY, GET BACK HERE. What is this. It's your lunch. I don't want this. Well, okay. What— is this strange music— They call it dubstep Come on, Jimmy, you're slipping Kimmel, cause Fallon is dead or presumed missing Probably Skrillex Probably a bounty on his head, Dog willing The Festival Priojects Inclement Infinite Is coming up next, on Legends Come on Jim, KEEP UP. Nobody can know about this, okay? Wait, where's Kimmel Okay, I got O'Brien— Black Irish Bastard… Alright, Alec Baldwin is a little tied up, right now, but LEMON, Fuck. That's l—future me. What?! I gotta go, okay?! What? Go where. Let's get DRUNK. No, That's—I got a show tonight What?! Look at my lexicon. Your—what, Meet me on Lexington. Oh, this pussy is finished! I got it, I got it! He's LENNONNNNN!! JOHN LENNON Fuck. Look, I gotta go. John Lennon?! You're dead! Funny, I thought not. Watch this. MOOOOOOOOOOOM. Fuck, What, It's my kid. I gotta go. Wait, you have kids?! Well, I just had you, didn't I? “The mayor” is a secret underground rap star lol #trappin Okay, What's else happened Idk hold on Okay, So whats the sauce on this sandwich. Oh. Jeez, this again. That *sandwhich? Hah. There's no sauce on that sandwhich. —there's not!? No: You see. It's very simple. WAKE UP, YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR. we gotta take the train. The train?! NO. NOTTHETRAIN. NO. Man, fuck the train! [SUNNI BLŪ wakes up on the train.] What's this, the train? [is the train] (Angrily, tossing newspaper) Man, FUCK the train! Other hobo: Aww, thanks, I need that for my— [s/he snatches back the paper]. Wait! I need that back—what day is it? [drunkenly illegible gibberish turns into perfect Hebrew] GODDAMMIT, it's Shabbat; I gotta get to Temple. [s/he shoves the newspaper back into the hobo's lap] Here. Oh no, I thought I couldn't forget RABI FUCK _]€_# WHAT WAS IT GODDAMIT IT WAS SO CLEVER. God So it was… What did you do with it? Do with what My idea what idea My—my rabbi joke— What rabbi joke you know what rabbi joke! You were the one who gave it to me. Oh, did I? YES, SATAN, JESUS. GOD Ohh, Satan-Jesus. I like that one. NO— it was— It was much better than that, it was— It was funny. Oh, it was? YES. —did you write it down? Fuck, I realize I just opened a A FUCK PORTAL. OHH, GET IN IT, GET INSIDE. I had an Artemis in my pocket But I lost him Walked away from the cornermarker And the cornerstone, for the sunset I wonder if songs always come When I'm walking, Or God makes us promises, For world of I'm not JB, I'm KG, Can you see me now? If you could see what I see, We'd be even wtf did I just write this And not realize I just wrote this Yeah. That shit happens to me all the time. WHAT. ALL THE TKMEx Shut up, THE ANDRE3K CHARADES GAME is getting intense. What in the FUCK is that. *flutes* Ohh. And KITES. yyyyyYYYYYYYAAAAAHHH—— GODDAMMIT. I can't see really, I just dream I'm not thinking, I'm dancing This is what you asked for Exactly what you asked for For once, I'm finally glad I have your eyes on My friend I can see you all on the horizon, Singing NO, NO MORE MUSICALS!! Jimmy, what did you do?! I don't know what I did! You lyin bastard. I'm not lying! So, where ya from? —I don't know where I'm from. Listen, I'm gonna need you SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP. It seems like these scenes are getting shorter. I'm bored with this. Ok. Let's do something else. I fuckin hate you. I hate you. I fuckin hate you. 88. Oh no: 8 Wait, what the— *dolphin* WOAH, okay: Oh, no. No, No, no OHNONO. I told you I'd find him. Anyway. Seems like there's something more important I should be doing. Are you sure this is the right place. Right place. Right time. Fuck— FUCK. What, what happened. I lost my— SKRILLEX! No. SKRILLEX. NO, NO— SKR— I swear to God, Google knows everything. Google don't know shit about SHIT. I gotta lose m 39 lbs. For what. MADONNA DO IT FOR THE BANANAS. I hate— you. COME ON, MISTER. Fuck off, Madonna, I'M A GOD. I miss Beyoncé. That's not relevant. Beyoncé is relevant to everything. *smacks* QUIT FANGIRLING. Trust me, I hate you. I don't trust you, but I believe you. I got it. I hate this place. Holy shit. What. I developed a new phobia. What's that mean?! I don't know, I can probably use it in a fight or something. For what. SPECIAL ABILITY UNLOCKED. I see you looking over my shoulder I see the shadows, I try not to jump at em. I spent six months in a coffin, you know I spent my life a sarcophagus (Wow, I got it right.) Try not to mutter those haunts in a hospital Try to recover from trauma Uncovered post traumatics, Anxiety attacks and a lot of those— What do you call them? A flashback. Here goes one: SONNY MOORE aka SKRILLEX appears. I told you not to— But I did! I didn't mean to! But you did! This is ludachris! Oh look, it's— Fuck. God dammit. Come on! What's his name!? What's his name?! I'll think abo it it. Are you serious? Another shapeshifter? Yes, I guess welll just have to kill them all, then. I just want to go home. You don't have one. …oh. So here we have. Okay, wait a second. I wasn't faking my symptoms at all, actually. My heart had dropped, and been pounding and fluttering insessantly— It had been a hard week, but especially the last three days; The coughing—. Everyone seemed to be wearing clothing with stars or bears on it, Champion sportswear. I fucking hate champion sportswear. But the palpitations were real as ever— and now— On a Saturday night in the Jamaica, Queens medical center emergency room, There they were again. Only this time I knew exactly why. ‘Too Bizzare' by Skrillex begins to play, via Complications 003- The Trauma Method. Irony. It was ironic, but still startling, Started with some nostalgic traumas, Every other time I saw an ER doctor (Why I don't go) Fuck, I just realized I have to airdrop myself 880 times. That fucking sucks. Did you say you were a doctor? I was, once. When is “once” At some point. Listen, I'm gonna need you to backtrack to get to the bottom of this. I'm innocent, I promise! We caught you at 27 different angles doing this. Oh. [beat] I plead the 5th. Ohh. Cerulean. My favorite. c R A Y On Oh, I get it, I L L U M I N A T U S. Nice, it worked. I know everything about you. So you do. [beat] You're a God. What the fuck do you want from me. Listen. I. Am not. A God, Right. That's exactly what a God would say. No they wouldn't! Because a God wouldn't say anything! AHA. Don't ‘AHA' ME. I don't mind, at all It don't matter— to me I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me Might as well not think about it The space between us Might as well just stay awake then No sense in leaving Just to come back It don't matter to me, now Now and again I go crazy just making arrangements, But besides that, If you like it, you should have it It's a long road, As Kaskade says, And a short dance, With the right one And time goes by I would call it mild, But actually I'm in a wild panic It might be a heart attack I just might even Die right here But I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me I don't mind—at all It don't matter to me, I said I don't mind, at all, now It really don't matter to me I said, I don't mind, at all It really don't matter to anyone Now does it (Not it doesn') I don't mind, at all It don't matter— to me I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me Might as well not think about it The space between us Might as well just stay awake then No sense in leaving Just to come back Palpitations and precipitations at the pulpit Preacher, please don't make me a culprit I been prayin— I been paying my tithes, 10% Even, Now 25, Almost half of me is not mine! Why try? I've been walking out, in straight lines I been crying silently It ain't right I been making most of my nights Sometimes I see sun come up twice Up, down up 10 degrees, It ain't right Up down up 33, it ain't right Up, down, up I've been spending my time Down, up, down Riding round, Trying not to down in my mind Up, down up What is this. It's my project. What is it? The Festival Project. Yeah but—what— What. Is it? …it's my project. *painfully infuriated* Okay, enter here. EXAM ROOM 10 Why exam room 10? Because. Where are the other nine? Just—get in. I'm not going in there! JUST GET IN. UGH. DEADMAU5 (head and all) stands at a tall podium in the center of the room) What is this, This is deadmau5. I know that. —-!!! —?!? What. !!! What? This is the exam? Yes! NO. What is “no”. I'm not playing for deadmau5. That's the exam. Then I fail! Automatic Fail? yes. Automatic fail. Then you win. What. *slams gavel* Congratulations—you're the next superstar DJ. WhY. . What. Woohoo! I just retired! DEADMAU5 exits. … … After a few moments of comic tension, the Deadmau5 head rolls back in through the exit which he has taken. Ugh. Fuck this. No matter what you do, you're a superstar DJ. What. No! Yes. The answer is yes. NO. Fuck. What the FUCK. No matter what you do. You want to go, Go, you want to die, Die, you want to try, try You want to cry, cry Do what you want; As so will I, Demand is demand— Supply is supply. EDX So then, I followed this long hallway under the stage deck. Uh huh. And it led to a door— Uhhuh, where'd the door lead? To a portal. Woah. Pasqualle! You made it! I—yes. Congratulations! *blows party horn* *Daisies/ confetti* You're like 25! I'll be 25 forever. Nice! Yeah. I guess that's why it's called ‘music'—a musician without muses is just useless. ‘Well, whose next?' I wondered. All of my muses were not just so wonderful to me, but adored by many—and perhaps this is what allured me most—befuddled ans confounded me; once my mind was set on something, there was nothing else its eye could see—and for how long one God could only know, how deep the love would go and that the blood would run deep, and the scars to show for it, only upon my heart and never by soul—for a love was a love, and even once came and gone, to the end of my life I knew I would still ponder upon them, at one time or another, my muses—star studded lovers, rather than crossed, shiny and golden like all diamond and trophies so treasured and thought of as precious. ‘Yes, you are—precious.' Another tongue in cheek thought, for the other that I was, and also was not, as summer drew onward as short as it would come and go—a reminder to leave the apartment more often, and to mind my manners, to find the upper echelon wherever it was and come quietly into its doors, to open my world and wordform of thought, into a place where my heart always was; then, and only then, would I be home. Amongst the men and women of the uppercut and classy, luxurious big fishing ponds and flocks of doves upon olive branches—the peaceful world long parted from where mine was, by only the fault of my own. What had been done just certainly was, and yet, what was to come was an open poem, not of mine, but Godform in thought. ‘I wonder what's at the top of Rockefeller Plaza.' —perhaps, a gander at the bottom of an even larger entertainment complex. Then, again, only God would know what was beyond all that I wanted; a job—and not just any job at all— the one that I had always wanted. Mmm. Birthday cake. Suddenly the taste of a white confetti crème filled my mouth with a delicious remnince of what it might be like to taste a confectionary sugar again—but i couldn't imagine ever making it just on talent and charisma alone—no. Indeed, it seemed something had damaged my charm, and perhaps it was just the swarms and droves of phone controlled masses that saw me as nothing more than dust, I had started to surrender my desire to perform, and the quality of my music—along with my ability to make it, suffered with the awful thing that had been crowding my soul at all—whatever it was, evil and dark in nature, sure saw to it that it wanted to hurt me in all the ways that it could—and in all the ways it could not, I stayed away from most others, favoring my delusions of love. ‘Nobody seems to understand that the pain they cause will only harm themselves.', I thought Younger souls, however, they were—and they would be kept in the pain that I was in one way or another until eventual death, far behind me on the infinite road to the source. Far enough behind, that it seeked to destroy my progress, and for all that it could, it also couldn't. The infliction of pain would simply not act as a measure for control any longer. Off into my own world, where I was at least free from the thoughts and judgement of others. She's the most beautiful girl, And I'm the most beautiful boy; So naturally, we belong together, don't we? I see a pretty picture, Picket fences and a family Golden Retrievers Someone relieve her; She doesn't believe me TV dreams and exquisite pretty people Burning candles, fire flames and frequent figures, Guest characters and cameos, Repeat offenders, multiple appearances Suddenly, really, it's another need People, people pleasers Audience affection, Tragic endings, Butterflies and new beginnings Gun under my tongue, Rubber like a frog My mind is in a fog Haven't bothered going on a walk To Trader Joe's but The anthem of my youth, A lost soul Another form of my love So what I wonder Put the gun up under my chin Rubber like a frog Blow my head off Just cause I didn't blow up Selfish cunt Big brother, Another hypnotist Little brother, Gotta love him Gotta love em For the Love of God I could stop for a moment Wash my mind out with soap Like I'm ten years younger, even Seriously 20 years between us, You can't even hide underwater In a bathtub Seriously, Someone help us For the love of God, for the love of Hollywood Seriously, Someone love us, For the love of God, For the love of Rockefeller Plaza Someone help us Another possible walk of stars A little shop of horrors Another whole story I get rid of my demons The hoes screamin I put semen in her Permanent like semen, Just keep dreamin I'mma just keep preaching SaMo, Brooklyn Europe Next I keep scheming Whoever you are; If you're a wreck— You need a check No respect, neglect Just cover your neck (I'm blind to my own design, sometimes) That's what the eye is Try this: Close your eyes and say thrice, kids I am the God of the eye, Osiris I am the God of the Eye, I'm Osiris I am the God, I walk amongst the highest Thoth, You lost Better just die and keep trying I am the God of the eye, I am (Try this) I am the God of the eye (I never die) I am the God of the eye (That's right, three times) I am the God of the eye No black and white television, In my dimension we pay attention to centrifugal, The mission isn't in materialism, Whatever youre spending If money the God, l of your eye, Realize, I am higher My gunfire, Is right on the back of The one dollar I am the God of the eye I Am Your money is nothin to us We come in peace, To end suffering Pretty little nigga Look just like Kendrick Kickin it with jigga I'm the new higs boson Part of me never left Boston (Fuck Starr!) Part of me never left homeless This ain't my home It's my office You never heard this song You don't notice I'm an ugly kid, you don't notice me Rooftop smells like soy sauce On god I am ugly You don't notice -Atari the God Can we get back to this, please? Damn. She really whooped her ass, though. Janet, can I borrow you for a second? No. Please. [Whoopi Goldberg appears in the doorway, gesturing “c'mon”] …alright. I got convictions on my lips, I took a picture Turn the page The worst of all was, it really did seem like they were racists— INSOMNIAC EVENTS Not just racists— the most deadly kind of racists. WHITE SUPREMACISTS You really want it this way, don't you? No! I LOVE you! Oh, do you? If there's a mile in here, I swear to god.. Are you high enough yet? I thought so HIGHER! hire star* What. Just do it. You remember these guys, right? GOOD CANNABIS, FAIRBANKS, ALASKA No. Why are we back here. Alright, we might have fucked up. Why. This guy sucks. HEY. What. COME BACK TO ALASKA never that. WHAT, WHY NOT! GOD HATES FAGS!!! Well, you're wrong! WHITE POWER. Nah. ALL LIVES MATTER O rly? Even this guy? Literally every “NO” …so, “all lives.” Look, I don't care what color it is; I want that book in my library. GO TO THE LIVRARY. NO. GET IN HERE. NO AUBREY. STAY DEAD. She's dead, right? YOU CALLED ME HERE. I didn't! You Did. I did not, all i said was *swoons* …I love her. (I really do) WHAT?! “I Love you?!” It was more the *swoon* that did it. Disconnect. Fuck, I lost deadmau5 again What'd you do to him? Nothing! Put him back! He's still there! He's right there, you see him? No! This isn't deadmau5. We want deadmau5. bring him BACK. Fuck, I fucked up. What'd you do? …nothing? Pick up the phone Pick up the phone …hello? Who IS this? Fuck it, I quit. Man, God never puts my dishes back in the right place, like ever. I told you, I don't live here, I'm just… Babysitting. CC! What! CC! What? CC WHAT. Fuck, man. That was wild. Where the fuck have you been? I don't know. You don't know—you smell funny. “Funny” is that what that smell is? No. When were you? When? Ha. Did you—- Did I what? —did you go to a party without me? Lmfao fuck these niggaz. Why, what happened. What's this. Where was it?! Idlewild. “IdLeWiLd”?!?!? You. Old. One here and die, you know, l. It's cattle call for curtain calls guy Where did this go— What was this, once? It's the return Welcome to Oz This is the Tower of Babel Remember; I wrote that Better than the bottom, Still not the top —it's not as fast, when it's not going all the way up Did you jump yet Come around more Keep coughing Are you sure this is where it was or—? Somewhere else I stayed Back when I was homeless It's hopeless! We lost her Antenna, antenna SUPERMARKET I loved her —she was undercover —I'm still in your stirrups I'm lost in New York, then BACKFIRE Adele remix is on [have a seat] Can I go now? I still need a hat, a half dollar and an alter cloth You could win an award for this; I don't want an award, I just want my son back Motherhood, motherhood Brotherhood, brotherhood This isn't one of us! No one was No one was Can I go now? Where to? Home! Nope, that's just the office, I'm still homeless, unless I They got cabanas on top of offices! (The rich and the famous) Networking and brunches— _this looks fun, doesn't it? I altered the course of history In brief exchanges and Various social atrocities This is hypocrisy! lol rly This is hypocrisy!! Hyper awareness and, psychic inclinations… You realize the more low quality people you let in The more low quality this country becomes, don't you? I put a roll in the back of the chosen ones. Used to be cast more, Now something seldom ever happens Such as this— A fun Fortune 500 What does that even mean Forbes. Look it up. What if the policy is Foreign; Look it up. I know enough about the girl next door to know Something is horrible, Something inside of her Rots at the core, Her obsession; My undeservedness of such, What she must, I mustn't, just Unjustice Broski, okay I got to discard All the pichardo Besides just this one (I'm standing on top of you) Put somebody worthy on the fourth floor Worse off, I was done for Before I got to New York What's her for?! I know enough about the man upstairs to know All these glares and “How dare you's” and Hatred says Why would you wait 30 years Until today, I guess Something is certainly off about her. I said yes. It was more probably something like “SUCK MY DICK” What. “YOU HEARD ME” Oh yes, I did. From 1990 to 1993 From 1990 To 1993 From 1990 To 1993 Stop breeding these things, “Love is familiarity” No Love is what you make it But you can't Because of slavery They don't make music —they don't make love either Well, look where your lust took you! Nowhere! Exactly! Look where your love took you: Vegas, Los Angeles, South of the Border Above it a New Yorker— Under budget, Celibate and My arms are too short to jump the turnstyle, Meanwhile My ex husband left permanent scars on My face My lips My arms My hands And my heart. Did you bite him? Of course I bit him, he was strangling me. You definitely won this fight. I know. Look, if I don't call for security, This bitch is gonna make me kill her. OCTOPUSSY NO. What. NO. Stankass. I will KILL this bitch. Look, I gotta get ahead in this. I need a WIN. These are customs. Trash. Wash your pussy. Send her back. Nah, you know what. Remove that hex. Wait, what, really?! Yeah, like; Reverse it. Woah. That's crazy. They got like….white slaves now. That's not right. What do you mean. That's not it. You said “reverse it” This is what the white supremacy just did to everyone else: [world in crisis except for for people who look like Kayla Lauren, to whom EVERYTHING is a fucking crisis, that isn't] BECKY/KAREN/WICKED WITCH OF WHITE AMERICA I AM OFFENDED I'm offended that you signed your like 12 year old daughter up to pose nearly nude, but— Hey look, it's us now; is this freedom?! Uh…. Why are all the female models like 12 and all the male models are fully grown men— Or women. Right. Idk. Wait, I do. You do?! Wait. Something tells me all the pedophiles and all the white supremacists are in the same group… Run the same businesses— Have the same families. This is disgusting Okay, this is gross That's not right ! That's not my job! Oh, it's not!!? NO. Who should I call That guy. So you want this? Oh, it's a death curse?! It will NEVER end. Wanna bet. I'll kill you and take the whole world with me. Now that's a threat. Thing is, I'm actually making it. I'm telling on you! Ok. Wait 30 years though so you look and sound REALLY fucking stupid. Ok. 30 YEARS. Doesn't make sense. What's the statute of limitations for— Hm. Depends. Depends on what. Who are you?! WHO ARE YOU?! NOBODY YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. THEN WHY DO I? wtf is this? This is Texas being petty. Ok, fuck ya‘lol YAW. I'm serious, wtf is wrong with you. Something. What. Fix me. Fix you. Hm. Ok. *COUGHING* Somethings wrong here. Yep, it's definitely some kind of FIX IT. Where's this ROCK? At the ROCK. Like, where tho?! Ur gonna need this. What. They r crucifying u. Noted. Hunts Point Food Distribution Center Lmfao I need this word hold on “eliminating redundancies, setting strict timelines, and allowing cases to proceed contemporaneously” [ Finally, recognizing the danger that social media poses to young people and mental health, New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene Commissioner Dr. Ashwin Vasan today issued a Health Commissioner's Advisory identifying unfettered access to and use of social media as a public health hazard, just as past U.S. surgeons general have done with tobacco and firearms.] A win. I don't play dead. What do you call this: DIE! DIE, BITCH! Corrections. I still don't understand how this— ACID HAPPENS. Out of sight Out of mind So why these guys Tryna waste my time Tryna fuck with my mind with All these lights OH MY GOD I ain't got time for that Well, Maybe I do— I just Don't like NIGGAZ LIKE YOU. (Say what) I don't like Niggaz like U! I'm Sunnï Blū! You're stupid Oh, so he put a curse on sunni blu, too? Ok. Cool. When all my aliases come up This dumb motherfucking drunk Is gonna get stuck In his own woods He'll bury himself In the words that he left With the scars In the words that he left With the scars Sunni blu Is the sayer of stars I slaughtered them all Swallowed them whole Like a big black hole I'm a big black god I'm a big black God Fuck Twinkle that broad One punch girl One punch girl 5 punch faggot I'll unwrap flags on your Goddamn Fuck that Put a curse on my alter ego Lucky he's a he, tho I blow holes in em I blow smoke And love sausage I'm a hedon And he not a Hero He broke He lost I'm open Shirts vs skins I got 666 Curses to show you What your words did IM RA I'm a big black God You're at home with the young apostle Let's be honest He never even liked his father So turned him to a mother, Told his mother to ‘run far, And bring back The life that I want' I'm a big black God In light skinned clothing You don't know to explode Or explode on me Cause my mommy's a Dark skinned icon That my God Find something to pass the time, God Sunni with I, huh I won Fuck a pedophile wifebeater Bury him in the woods with his fury Fear me, now I'm coming up with reverse curses And cures Cause my words Bought the whole world Buried you in the woods I'll bury you in the woods, Bitch Very good I'm a big black God -Blū. GOD is the GOAT I just became god I do what I want I get what I want when I want it I don't want no problems Me myself and God only I buy everything I used to steal These tears in my heart say I'm healing What's the difference, anyway? I've never been fit for your interests, or industry Add insult to injury Add everything to my Amazon cart, then My sympathies Nothing is greater in heaven As it is in hell, for this industry Turned on its head And turned over from 7 to ten Check your messages, then Shut up kid, this doesn't involve you You're not included in the package Michael c hall and John c Riley reprise Mr. Cellophane in the style of DEXTER MORGAN. HA. Classic. GOT EM. V.O. I met her at The Jumping Point {Coming Up…} INT. THE JUMPING POINT POP-UP NIGHTCLUB LOUNGE & BAR. NIGHT “A Long Day's Night” / “A Hard Day's Night” C {CONFUSION SPELL, SUCCESSFUL} [Sequence Initiated.] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. {

god tv love jesus christ music american new york amazon fear texas money health trust power google ai peace man rock los angeles las vegas dogs anxiety fall dj home writing simple er mit guns holy satan south funny night class forbes fortune taylor swift academy espn grammy started champion temple cold broadway sun run mcdonald dark beyonce quit fight networking motherhood manhattan straight speech queens dinner worse shit burning worthy audience cheese trash gotta bar lol drunk wicked heads galaxy fuck new yorker tower jamaica riding congratulations wtf remove writers classic blow reverse solid wondering butterflies supply bitch infinite images yellow wash scratch shut foreign younger peacock selfish bought closet manipulation copyright realize keller john lennon fix repeat nah tight shut up permanent semi lemon buried alec baldwin tequila tragic hyper bill murray brotherhood infants hanukkah remind hatred urgent ham waking aha i love lexington cc mm mister ashamed whoopi goldberg shirts artemis curses atari officers corrupt jimmy fallon corrections uncommon bury disconnect jb int automatic speaking in tongues advisory ambulance nevermind ur complications trader joe marked walked t rex rubber keep up irony cents hm wham bob saget rooftop kg mischief idk shabbat stumble kite reminding kosher wilhelm chevy chase skrillex rue polite babysitting mmm social studies wrecked hum closest damages kimmel no love superb dammit hem samo deadmau5 fix it goddamn shy who are you hard days fairbanks caddyshack rodney dangerfield printed harold ramis oof ata swallowed sunni cyclones atop geez lmfao skr shhhh antenna jeez defended thoth long day ohh hah daisies tryna aww slattery new york city department celibate oh shit fuckers dangerfield god can suck it up rots picket white power jesse pinkman aight ramis sunn whatchu noh god for uuml god get idlewild cerulean swore health commissioner god find karmas satan jesus dexter morgan yaw grossing hallmark cards cellophane stay dead nevel ted knight cindy morgan palpitations god so say uncle rockefeller plaza liz lemon goddamnit google documents brian doyle murray scatterbrained get gone neatly ahaha mother of pearl get in the van iambic just let go ashwin vasan sonny moore god hates fags slatts

{Caddyshack} - Happy Accidents

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 65:01

“Caddyshack” (A Mumtidimentional Mixtape) {Enter The Multiverse} From Wikipedia: Caddyshack is a 1980 American sportscomedy film directed by Harold Ramis, written by Brian Doyle-Murray, Ramis and Douglas Kenney, and starring Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe and Bill Murray with supporting roles by Sarah Holcomb, Cindy Morgan, and Doyle-Murray. It tells the story of a caddie, vying for a caddie scholarship, who becomes involved in a feud on the links between one of the country club's founders and a nouveau riche guest. A subplot involves a greenskeeper who uses extreme methods against an elusive gopher. Caddyshack was Ramis's directorial debut and boosted the career of Dangerfield, who was previously known mostly for his stand-up comedy. Grossing nearly $40 million at the domestic box office (the 17th-highest of the year),[3] it was the first of a series of similar comedies. The film has a cult following and was described by ESPN as "perhaps the funniest sports movie ever made" SAUCE (IN CASE YOU MISSED IT) —- AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN. OH SHIT! Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy. Oh nooo. Oh, yes. Look at this penny. I see you. Now look into my eyes. I see you, Jesus. Ahahaha! Okay, now what? This shit is twisted I missed the shift of the dimensions— Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies For some cigarettes and swishers, Just to get the picture It's 5 AM again, And it's still Infinite, I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA, Or just living, period— But it is what it is, I work for my rent, I've repented for this, Used to sleep in a tent, But when I was an Infant, I instantly— Wait, a customer walked in. I better help him. Heaven help him. Another level, Call dr. Nevel, Or an Ambulance, I just can't get it Just can't get it, Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess. Took you long enough, didn't it? That took forever. How are you alive? Maybe I'm not. Finally, we agree on something. Oh, this guy Lol. Good to see you again. Likewise, now— Here it goes… As you promised. Working on it. As I promised. Take my heart for granted, Take my soul, If this is loveless Till the end, I just can't manage, having Thoughts of death and tragic ends I haven't Felt the same since Waking up without the day to come ahead; The day has passed again A test, No fail, or pass It's just progressive, In a trance, It's just the stress, It's just to pass the time, I guess, if this is purpose Then, we'll see if this is worth it Now, or never, then Now or never, Never had a friend, All envious at best, This is the end all, In the end, it's just Me and God, And God would want A better body, To have fun I wished it all at once, And then I watched it crumble Oh, I watched it Stumble in, again, my friend I'm different when it's wet, I might not never see the Sun again I might not ever love again Oh well “Oh well” , I said Oh, well, I guess Oh well Okay. One hour left. Okay. Who gets the gold? Hum. Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7. Play Iambic. What, right now? Yeah, play Iambic. Uh… Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with anything else I had written and had yet the advantage of placing anywhere besides my podcast channels, which I constantly thought about cancelling, despite its innumerous downloads—nothing really seemed to matter anymore, as I was trapped in my body, in a loveless world, in a dead-end job and though my bed was clean and comfy, sharing the room wirh 3 others became exhausting. INT. SMOKESHOP. 5:58 AM DREW BARRYMORE … SUPACREE … I'm done. I quit. QUIT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT. Nope. That's it. I quit. You can't quit. I just did. I hadn't quit the music industry—the music industry had quit me. I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, light skinned enough, or willing to do what any of the other girls were to get ahead. WTF is THIS. Since you like to troll so much, I just thought I'd turn you into one This is not Kosher, 199x Jimmy Fallon; Let me out of this plastic —not exactly “fireproof” — death box, before I let myself out, and I trap you in it. But oh, You already did. FIGHT. UGH OH. Ok, rotate. Who is this. Oh shit, hey dude. FUCK, what year is it? MEANWHILE, Under the bridge. …anybody seen this, uh… *Troll* Yee! *Troll* Alright. That's it. Everything checks out. The story was air tight. TIGHT, TIGHT I want you to wear this tonight “The Lady In The Red Dress” You really went all out for this I really didn't. lol Oh I see, You thought this was the matrix. MIT I WISH GOD Wish what. MIT … Mm. Did u see that. See what. ALRIGHT FUCK THIS, YA'LL IT GOT SERIOUS, WHERE'S MY CYCLOPS He called me his cyclops— —-and then he said LIKE GET OUT WHAT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE WHY CAUSE YOURE JUST A PIÑATA, MAN! And I ain't got time for that! I just got a DeLorean And a new HAT I gotta go get Oof. WRECKED. Yo, Wicked. KENDRICK (TODDLER) WIZARD. Oh my. I'm J00F'd up. | | | trance | | | Look; I gotta get out of this MOTHER OF PEARL do not beach this whale carcas on my warehouse project A what A beached whale I know You brought a beached whale to my fucking rave show Oh I get it It's Avant- Guarde No, that's just how I got here …. Trust me, it's okay that This never happened You did not see me It's because I wasn't there Is this U Ū No I wasn't there. Ü I was. Fuck. What happened. It's ok. All I remember is “The Quatardashians” Hmm Also The indigenous But that's it But mostly that was all just Jesus showing off his flexes Are u fasting? Yes, “Ū” is. So, do you need this?! TRUMPP Get rid of this recording imiidiately GOT IT. kill that bitch. SKRILLEX Yessir. —-but before all that happens. …did you want fries with that?! Why are we boycotting McDonald's —for poisoning —the allies —our enemies. Wait, you're eating this? Yes. Like, for fun, or like? No. This is what I'm feeding my children Why Cause they hungry. Uh, ok— —and there's six of them. Aight, ya'll can each have one nugget with your— I wanted a cheese burger! You git hamburgers. Ham. Cheese costs CENTS; And you know your momma If I ain't about a dollar - A dollop of Daisy You really are Ashamed of his Alright, you evil bastards. I see you want to Cause suffering Correct For which you will eternally recurve damnnation and all of the pain you've caused Karmas a bitch It's lonely at the top Not when you're GOD Get off my rock Did you miss an appointment? Nah, can't do it Why what happened Too high up. Whatchu mean So what, it's just like Done. Well, this is it, huh guys. Oh, yeah, it's that, alright This is the longest ride we ever took.d This is the ONLY ride we ever took. I WANNA GET OFF THIS RIDE. I AM REALLY HIGH UP. JUST LET GO. NO. NO. NO. Put me down, kite!!! KITE wtf do you want me to do. I'm a KITE. I'm YOU FUCKIN KIKE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—- Well, I'll be honest, man, this sets you back, some How far back GET GONE, But? We're dinosaurs. Why would something with razor sharp teeth be so— —peaceful, and friendly?? T-REX …cuddles. I just can't fake the feeling( I can't pretend to cry It just comes, when it does But when the well runs dry That's when the the world will end That's when the world will end After this movie, I guarantee we will no longer need the Wilhelm scream AGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! YAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIGGGHHHHHHH UUUUUUUUUUUUU This movie broke the world record for the amount of times the word “No” was screamed NO NOH. NO. ‘No! NOOOOOOOOOOO! NONONO. NOOOOOOOAAAAAHH …No! Here they all come for her, Defended upon New York In order of important, or appearance? One doesn't wonder, At al, of what's to come Uncommon, we are The call has come TRACY My tummy hurts. That's probably because you've been drinking straight tequila for the last hour and a half. No I haven't! This is water! Tequila is YELLOW, Liz Lemon! No, Tracy—that's silver tequila, And regular tequila is, You know what? Nevermind. Alright, who's got the night shift? [nobody raises their hand, at all] Seriously guys?! Come on! COME ON! Look up WHAM! For some reason, idk. Can we just— not do this? No. Out of my mind a bit Speaking in tongues, In total silence Guess it's the times, I guess that's just who I am And who I am is I said I was Sam I'm the same, I said, “Say Uncle” I guess it's a game, we're playing I don't want to be played with At all I just want to feel loved again By someone else Superb, like him I just want to be felt, I guess By someone else That's “Different” I just want to be kissed on the lips A splendid blend of Twisted trysts Let's not pretend It hasn't ended yet Until you've finished it Class dismissed again Let me off of it I just want it to stop Keep rolling Keep rolling your eyes in the back of your head Like you did just morning Just go for a walk Just stop for a moment Run a bath And just keep running Cause here something comes, Of course, It's all your callings Neatly rolling into one, They said But I Just want to be loved again And who doesn't That's the fucked up part I just want to be loved again But nobody ever Just comes up I just want to be loved again It's a walk in the park Don't follow the dog Even if he barks at you It's time to start again I wonder what comes after this part You are the gleaning in the shadows, The reckoning in my eye, The siren in my silence; The green in all the lights, I am a shamed to have just been One of your many One of your many Images, You still have me twisted, I miss you, It's just you, at the end, Again I left you where you left me Solid on solid Sounds are invalid now How are you so Swore by your awesome No more songs, I said No more songs, he's dead to me No more songs! She's inlisted He's uninterested, Isn't this interesting The problem is: I'm still in love with Everyone i've ever been in love with (And I love him) But he doesn't remember my Name And he's famous And she's crazy And he hates her But he made me hate him The day I became you The day I became So famous, I finally made it I'm dead It smells like dill in here At least it doesn't smell like dead mouse. Aha. Youre Hellen. Keller or Mirin How would you be Hellen Miren Cause I'm the Queen. posh. You want to die Well, you better do it quick Better get your shit toggether, paint a l Bigger, better picture Bitter Betty gliching steady Just remember when you're ready Ever steady still forgetting dinner Dessert was already Forget this significance Remind me why I'm on this speeding bullet to nowhere Had no other options but to go under for something Shy, sickness it's a secret Just kill me already Semi robotic, Something like a magnet, attracted, Simply symphonies And soulless bodies, tied to money Wonder what was in the vaccum cleaner meaning What did you suck up, dude Who do you suck up to. When nobody loves you But your own son And the audience is robots Nothing really works more than once, if it's really magic Sit and do nothing would you Like you're supposed to Fall over like the mannequin you are Just a body in my count A mattress without a bespost, if it matters If it matters Doesn't really matter But hey, you know We all go downtown every once or twice a note For Hanukkah I could try to be nice But there's no sense in it, Is there If everything and everyone else is just as nasty As the rest of it Just is just a test, again A doctors office visit. Simple robotics, Or already stocked up for Hanukkah, Hollywood Where's your homeland deposit box Closet full of robots Closest to the moon, I wrote another poem for you Sorry that I wasn't on the offering table The parakeet, pigeon and pirated Slattery, Damages, damages, All with the Amazon packages, Now we're all robots, Aren't we What corporation to you belong to! Something corporate , or say anything Whose to say Jeff Besoz won't replace us With m robots with thought processes, If once such could project as such presence As an AI freestyle Meanwhile, I've got a butload of buckets and bunts, Bullletwounds, eyes on Manhattan and happens to wish something bad upon me When all I wanted is Somebody to love me And someone to love him, If that's what he wanted (But who knows if what he wanted was all of the bodies opposite of him) I don't belong on this planet I belong in the garbage Put me on mars, mom Stop it, You're almost a robot, get out of my peripheral With your mental illness Geez, I must really want a menorah This is the animal house There's no one alive here Set to be slaughters. Honor the box of offerings as Thoughtful words And parallels What could be under your tongue Is the surface of love Just to touch with the battery acid or chemical trails You have left in your axis Nobody knows better than this How close it is to touching Without being loved But nobody loves you Psychotron, sure we're all robots now Nobody loves anymore {Previously, On…} L E G E N D S The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū {Enter The Multiverse} Ascension What the FUCK did you DO? What did I do?! You know what you did! I didn't do anything! Oh yeah? No! Not on purpose! GODDAMMIT, YOU SON OF A— Where's Jimmy Fallon?! What?! I don't know! Oh no. Oh shit, run. Oh no. What in the FUCK— I am “the fuck” You know what. I'm gonna sue the everliving shit out of you. For WHAT. We'll see. Fuck. Uh oh. FUCK. What now? What this time? Apparently, Jimmy Fallon is missing. What the fuck does that got to do with me. We'll see. Okay, great, Now finish that chapter. What fucking chapter?! All of it. That's—a lot. I want all of it. By my desk, by noon tomorrow. “By” your desk?! Yes, BY. Not ON. I've got too much stuff on my desk— …but it's…like 9 o clock. Should be easy, given your natural talents. What natural talents. PEACOCK. AHAHAHAHA. Okay. Well. Well what. This sucks. I lost all my coins. Hey. Ugh. You dropped this. So how was Los Angeles. What the fuck. You fucking DICK. I told you, I own shares in this. So what's the plan for this, exactly. I dunno, Harry. I got a book of stamps, And a yellow envelope marked “Jimmy Fallon” I will hate you forever. Well, that's retarded. I haven't even smited you yet. I will annihilate you, human. WHERE'S MY SHIT. Who the fuck are you, anyway? Nobody! No one. No one cares about this series, yo. I'l seriously doubt that, Jesse Pinkman. What is this stuff. It's your stuff. This is not what I ordered— Hey— Why is it BLUE Cause it is. So. WHY IN THE— Mischief managed. Alright. This should be good for the night, but we gotta get out of here by morning; I thought your parents owned this place. It's a time share! So? So it's like only —part of the time. That is stupid. No! You're stupid! You're the one who got us into this mess. It's your mess, I was just cleaning it up! Whatever! Stop trippin. Nobody's “tripping.” That's it. I'll be a stripper. Straight outta hell, that kid. Don't I know it. Alright, fine. I said, whatever you do— DONT watch this show. Stuff it, J. Slatts. I'll kill you with my eyeballs Sounds like a threat. Put on a lawsuit, then. Maybe I oughtta… —with a bow tie. You'll look so pretty. I thought I was already pretty. Uh huh. Yeah, look, so honestly I don't know if I'll ever be on the same vibration as like, Jimmy Fallon and them, ok? I don't know how I did it; I don't know what did it, It just happened and then— And then WHAT. It just—ended. Just like that. I'm not trying to offend anybody here. Just like that. Now, I ask: What are we going to do to sell you this dream? Doesnt matter what you do, I'll never believe it. Sure, fine; Don't believe it— We're gonna make you live it. Who the hell us “we” anyway? Now you're speaking in my cadence— Don't flatter yourself I like it. Too late, I guess. So, you see We're building Power triangles And love squares Power triangles And love squares Don't let it scare you, There's love there Don't let it scare you, There's love there Never fear where love has dared To call you up there Corrupt file—no fair. Don't be suprised even the odds seem to turn in your favor, I promise you; Nobody's ever ready For what has just happened here. WAKE UP, FUCKER. Ugh, I can't go through this again. So, I guess I'll have to erase, Or just secretly publish Everything I've ever written About my actual experience as a color, Just so that I can earn money As anything other than A slave— A maid, A housekeeper, A dog walker Or servitor So far under her, That I can't see far enough up to just Scratch the surface Her birthright: The entire network And mine, To sit under her, Wondering what the world would be like At the other end of the spectrum The word form of the White woman The wicked witch of all directions, In which I stand in; I'm at her mercy I've been abandoned before But this disservice, is, I'm afraid The best advice I can take is just To go straight to the bank with my angst and my hatred And shove it So here comes the nameless Face I love, Yet, The faceless God, Was Intoxicated, at best— Manipulation of the Mass Media I'm so Seriously jaded In this torture chamber In my corner office In this hall of racists, I claim, but if all is One in the same Then It's one in the same And I'm mainstream I'm famous If it's One in the same Then It's one in the same If it's One in the same Then I'm mainstream I'm so famous In a whole room full of humans I'm groomed to be useful for something, But what? It just hasn't come yet. I could sit down with a paper and pen, But I'm filling up all of my documents With hollandaise and God For what? It's just another song, or something Or something. It's just another — Goddamnit it, more coughs again. I told you not to watch this. Why do I taste pancakes? Maybe you're having a stroke again. Chyeah, a stroke of genius. I'll show you a stroke. Or don't. Well, there goes the captain. where is that scene, anyway? I don't know, I just wrote it. Great, she left the door open. She's got no furniture! It's a “dance floor” It's “the black box” she called it “the black box” Goddamn, do you listen to all her stuff? “Fear stimulates my imagination” Pilot ASOT Fuck man, What is a woman to a man, And an androgynous genius to The industry, or anyone at all If all are foes ans frauds All else is toxic! I woke up with one hand tucked behind my back Feeling dead drunk, I just woke up again But never fell asleep What world am I in? The end of the Dream sequence The end of the energy keeping me between three things: My past, My future And these prequels, Sequels And seeing arrangements And She's going crazy But nobody quite understands That these demons are chasing me saying “You deserved those hands in your face” The scratches on Kayla's back should have had me but I was too fat To find love again And still have something Wonderfully, undone And wrong with me Wrong with me enough to slam poetry So I'm guessing the white women I love beyond words and bounds are— In charge of whatever happens At the top of the rock; So I jumped off. I want to see someone suffer for all that I've done; No, that's dark, and karmic, you know— To go on like that; The confusions and refusal to accept that The album is called ChaosMagick, But the cover is more Urgent, A prose or a pawn of protection Against all the coughs And the reckless mismanagement The hands in my head And the eye on my scar And the lies on my heart So tell me, What happens When you're flying a kite with your heart, And it's broken? What happens to the kite , When you fly it with your heart And your art up in bundles— heartbroken, heartbroken So what come of Miss May, Come January? What come of Miss April By Next December what comes of the words I was saying For no one But everyone heard them And I've been gone Much longer than months, But still stocked up on all that I've wanted Or all that I got Or just, all that I love But got no undercovers to acknowledge no more How right I was Or how wrong I am What come of Miss June, when Miss January comes around? what come now, around August, When March is long forgotten? What comes of the drugs, Of the come ups, and come downs What comes of the process When nothing is served But the surf has come up Somewhere And I just can't love enough To go there I want to go to there I want to be that girl I want to sit at the top of the rock Writing songs, and sipping mock cocktails I want to Don't you know I just want to get back to Where I belong I'm so out of money and love That I want to be Under the train, When it's coming (Sometimes it's just the impulse that says “GO” Then the train starts to slow And my pain bubbles up into a numb, Dumb, crumbling cluster of poetry You know? Or you don't Cause you're all just on your phones Scrolling Some black man stands over me, Reminding me of why I never trust the ones Who want me most, Or just assume, By color code, That I belong to them I'm sorry, I just can't write with your arms around my neck like this Your heart around my arms like this It's so wholesome I had other verses but forgot them They took away my movies for the curses And the hexes That they put on me I said don't. And the king said “Heads will roll” Cause, you know; I've got parts for all of them now, The ones I'd forgotten But come from the catacombs, Back from the conduit You know, This is awful I had another one, But lost it. The king?! Which one. Teas I! No, it wasn't, It was Gían's father, From further off Should I call John back? Which one? Turns out, I love all of them— Turns out, I've got all of them In my college I taught them all to be someone Becoming of acknowledgement With nombres most common Juan, in subcultures, but Beyond that (Or above them) It's John, Or just Jonathan, Watch the ones who drop the consanant; They're always so troublesome, But I took them all up As understudies, Social Studies and some theatrics, Joan of Ark said Two more moments (Two more weeks in) I could have a body worthy Of a Grammy award, but — Would I be a writer then? Probably not, hon— Writers are Off a bit. If you were pretty, ever at all— would you have written this?! If I were pretty at all would there be reason to be this Conflicted? Some of those old New York hallways Haven't been painted In ages Since they made them Don't make that face at me I only dropped my key once On the fourth floor —they're horrible, you know To us, The “brothers” know no love They are destruction, speaking Of this, I got a cold heart. Cold like the robber Cold like the calling I've done in my corner office cold, like the jello mold forming a thought process Worthy enough I might love it like a husband We're re-evaluating your circumstances. Whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. I've got friends at USPS What the fuck could that even account to. Look, I'm gonna have to give this some serious considerations. It's not that serious. It's not that serious. Of course it is! I'm up to my knees in investments! So?! I wade a waiste deep, Surely you can get by “Up to your knees” What exactly do you need? Money. And lots of it. I mean, from me. Money. Really? Leave me alone. I told you not to write this. You're a voice in my head; No, I'm the hand in your mailbox. What in the fuck do you believe in. I believe in everything! They said you were a genius; I didn't expect you to be —at the very least, lucid— *squints* learn some new vocabulary, okay? For what? Dinner. Maybe. We're still in the process of voting. She's crazy. We'd be crazy not to actually hire her. Her accounts are all practically open; We could just take it. Yeah, and when she kills herself, and there's no blood on our hands— There's nothing that can be done about the amount of this stuff that's already printed! Printed?! What?! You mean— She's published? Self-published. My, what a beautiful happenstance To have already had you And awakened atop mattresses Marked for my assassins hand— Polite, I lost you All of us, Atop the rock We stood and suffered Months beyond a montage, Undercover Love was lost, And all's uncertain The interception of God, At the cost of What terror and cutbacks Have caused us all What you lost was $50, a Hallmark Card, an Academy award, a long lost star's phone number, And all that you wanted, The cock of the gun Was the sound that you wondered What was called , then ran off into wonder. How am I gonna make money And become an award winning songwriter Music producer And multidisciplinary artist, Without all the funding it takes to get noviced Without taking clothes off Wake up 10 years younger I'm suffering My stomach was a rubber band My stomach was a rubber band My only song was Water I forgot to stop For the applause I drowned in all the love; right then and there I died of Lovenessness [The Festival Project] The sound and laughter of children play A baby in a basket The basket case at Trader Joe's Who know what happens It just doesn't pull my heartstrings any longer That my son belongs without his mother So I'd better have another This is us, come on. Don't do this to me. Don't do this, Timmy, you'll be sorry. Come on! We're not even in that movie! We are, though; it's still Listen, you've got the right guy for this. Are you sure. Yeah, I promise. Officers, Stop for a *movement [hot cops flash dance number] Fuck, well, that was all wrong. But worth it! What I meant was— God, this show gets good at 31, But I'm only 22, So I guess I'll know how wrong the war was Once we've lost it, Cause imm a man now The episode is over, Soon comes the next episode With snoop dogg, Or not That was our wedding album. Scatterbrained, and pregnant— There she was just putting all the things together That she needed to be Needed To be needed. There she was, All on 4/20 Trying not to do the wrong thing, But what was it? To be loved. Then, There she was at 21 just going off again At some event— A friend, and her Back then could not imagine They'd become him To be someone. Not as one, But of entirely another World apart, aside from Cyclones into snow cones Turns the watchers into artists All their own, And off my own accord Or own account Or done with boredom Dove soap Open doors And clocks that turn the other hand away, Each day you love Manhattan But can't have that. That's it— This is just Season 1 of Mad Men WHERE THE FUCK IS— [she throws her hands above her head in surrender] I don't KNOW! Oh, you're a girl now?! I guess! What's with those pants, then? To hide the assets! What assets?! You look tragic. I'm going for ‘skeleton' to match all your wives and everybody else on the red carpet Who said you get the red carpet? Manhattan. That guy lies! Well how about this: The walk of stars were carved out in blocks of marble All in my honor. 1000/1 You're our God, now. What! I don't want to be God! SUCK IT UP. YOU WON. I don't wanna! Yaaaaaaayyy. You got the award! All the awards! Speech! Speech! SUNNI BLŪ Uh—- I'm drunk, And there's nothing on the teleprompter [a man in the audience coughs] A-HEM. [Sunni Blū immidiateky shoots the coughing man] [multi-camera shots of celebrity audience reactions; laughing, clapping in hilarity as if someone hasn't just died] TAYLOR SWIFT (unmoved at all) SUNNÏ BLŪ I don't know why you're laughing. That was awful. That guy died [audience is insane, super fake as usual] [more cut takes] SUNNÏ BLŪ It should have been you, Taylor. TAYLOR SWIFT (Still unaffected) SUNNI BLU Anyway. I'd like to thank the academy… Cause I am the academy [Audience is celebrities being celebrities] SUNNI BLU You guys are all idiots: I'm a go f*ck myself— And anyone else who wants to show up At my afterparty. Whatever. Peace. [cheesy academy award music plays—Sunnï knocks over the mic, peaces out obnoxiously; the audience cheers wildly and the host returns to the stage.] Who's the host? Whatever. Hey, better than nothin. You're telling me. yeah. I know: Oh, she's a comic? Yeah. I got it. BOB SAGET Ooh, that's good. Ū No—no my God. No Bob Saget, stop it! Wait, Bob Saget is dead right? Last I recall: Fuck—FUCK! Dammit. Dammit, dammit. Okay, Rue— you're up. Rue, what in the— Shhhh, don't let them know I'm in here! Oh, wait— It's me, Blanche. That's hot. I'm a debutant. My god, you're so young. Here, take this, What's that, You'll need that. V.O. I'm being hunted by the ghost of Bob Saget. *haunted. No, hunted! There she is! Grab her! Ooh, Bob Saget. Why, yes. How old are you? Not dead yet! You don't have to kidnap me, I'll happily go with you, sir. Really? Yes. GET IN THE— NOH, GET IN THE VAN. INT. IN THE VAN. [a bunch of hot male celebrities are in the van] Oh. Okay. Wow. That was easy. What is it, Friday. It's Friday and a half. Friday.5 What. There's a Friday movie between 1 and 2 So I guess this is season 8.5 I guess this is season 8.5 HEY, GET BACK HERE. What is this. It's your lunch. I don't want this. Well, okay. What— is this strange music— They call it dubstep Come on, Jimmy, you're slipping Kimmel, cause Fallon is dead or presumed missing Probably Skrillex Probably a bounty on his head, Dog willing The Festival Priojects Inclement Infinite Is coming up next, on Legends Come on Jim, KEEP UP. Nobody can know about this, okay? Wait, where's Kimmel Okay, I got O'Brien— Black Irish Bastard… Alright, Alec Baldwin is a little tied up, right now, but LEMON, Fuck. That's l—future me. What?! I gotta go, okay?! What? Go where. Let's get DRUNK. No, That's—I got a show tonight What?! Look at my lexicon. Your—what, Meet me on Lexington. Oh, this pussy is finished! I got it, I got it! He's LENNONNNNN!! JOHN LENNON Fuck. Look, I gotta go. John Lennon?! You're dead! Funny, I thought not. Watch this. MOOOOOOOOOOOM. Fuck, What, It's my kid. I gotta go. Wait, you have kids?! Well, I just had you, didn't I? “The mayor” is a secret underground rap star lol #trappin Okay, What's else happened Idk hold on Okay, So whats the sauce on this sandwich. Oh. Jeez, this again. That *sandwhich? Hah. There's no sauce on that sandwhich. —there's not!? No: You see. It's very simple. WAKE UP, YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR. we gotta take the train. The train?! NO. NOTTHETRAIN. NO. Man, fuck the train! [SUNNI BLŪ wakes up on the train.] What's this, the train? [is the train] (Angrily, tossing newspaper) Man, FUCK the train! Other hobo: Aww, thanks, I need that for my— [s/he snatches back the paper]. Wait! I need that back—what day is it? [drunkenly illegible gibberish turns into perfect Hebrew] GODDAMMIT, it's Shabbat; I gotta get to Temple. [s/he shoves the newspaper back into the hobo's lap] Here. Oh no, I thought I couldn't forget RABI FUCK _]€_# WHAT WAS IT GODDAMIT IT WAS SO CLEVER. God So it was… What did you do with it? Do with what My idea what idea My—my rabbi joke— What rabbi joke you know what rabbi joke! You were the one who gave it to me. Oh, did I? YES, SATAN, JESUS. GOD Ohh, Satan-Jesus. I like that one. NO— it was— It was much better than that, it was— It was funny. Oh, it was? YES. —did you write it down? Fuck, I realize I just opened a A FUCK PORTAL. OHH, GET IN IT, GET INSIDE. I had an Artemis in my pocket But I lost him Walked away from the cornermarker And the cornerstone, for the sunset I wonder if songs always come When I'm walking, Or God makes us promises, For world of I'm not JB, I'm KG, Can you see me now? If you could see what I see, We'd be even wtf did I just write this And not realize I just wrote this Yeah. That shit happens to me all the time. WHAT. ALL THE TKMEx Shut up, THE ANDRE3K CHARADES GAME is getting intense. What in the FUCK is that. *flutes* Ohh. And KITES. yyyyyYYYYYYYAAAAAHHH—— GODDAMMIT. I can't see really, I just dream I'm not thinking, I'm dancing This is what you asked for Exactly what you asked for For once, I'm finally glad I have your eyes on My friend I can see you all on the horizon, Singing NO, NO MORE MUSICALS!! Jimmy, what did you do?! I don't know what I did! You lyin bastard. I'm not lying! So, where ya from? —I don't know where I'm from. Listen, I'm gonna need you SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP. It seems like these scenes are getting shorter. I'm bored with this. Ok. Let's do something else. I fuckin hate you. I hate you. I fuckin hate you. 88. Oh no: 8 Wait, what the— *dolphin* WOAH, okay: Oh, no. No, No, no OHNONO. I told you I'd find him. Anyway. Seems like there's something more important I should be doing. Are you sure this is the right place. Right place. Right time. Fuck— FUCK. What, what happened. I lost my— SKRILLEX! No. SKRILLEX. NO, NO— SKR— I swear to God, Google knows everything. Google don't know shit about SHIT. I gotta lose m 39 lbs. For what. MADONNA DO IT FOR THE BANANAS. I hate— you. COME ON, MISTER. Fuck off, Madonna, I'M A GOD. I miss Beyoncé. That's not relevant. Beyoncé is relevant to everything. *smacks* QUIT FANGIRLING. Trust me, I hate you. I don't trust you, but I believe you. I got it. I hate this place. Holy shit. What. I developed a new phobia. What's that mean?! I don't know, I can probably use it in a fight or something. For what. SPECIAL ABILITY UNLOCKED. I see you looking over my shoulder I see the shadows, I try not to jump at em. I spent six months in a coffin, you know I spent my life a sarcophagus (Wow, I got it right.) Try not to mutter those haunts in a hospital Try to recover from trauma Uncovered post traumatics, Anxiety attacks and a lot of those— What do you call them? A flashback. Here goes one: SONNY MOORE aka SKRILLEX appears. I told you not to— But I did! I didn't mean to! But you did! This is ludachris! Oh look, it's— Fuck. God dammit. Come on! What's his name!? What's his name?! I'll think abo it it. Are you serious? Another shapeshifter? Yes, I guess welll just have to kill them all, then. I just want to go home. You don't have one. …oh. So here we have. Okay, wait a second. I wasn't faking my symptoms at all, actually. My heart had dropped, and been pounding and fluttering insessantly— It had been a hard week, but especially the last three days; The coughing—. Everyone seemed to be wearing clothing with stars or bears on it, Champion sportswear. I fucking hate champion sportswear. But the palpitations were real as ever— and now— On a Saturday night in the Jamaica, Queens medical center emergency room, There they were again. Only this time I knew exactly why. ‘Too Bizzare' by Skrillex begins to play, via Complications 003- The Trauma Method. Irony. It was ironic, but still startling, Started with some nostalgic traumas, Every other time I saw an ER doctor (Why I don't go) Fuck, I just realized I have to airdrop myself 880 times. That fucking sucks. Did you say you were a doctor? I was, once. When is “once” At some point. Listen, I'm gonna need you to backtrack to get to the bottom of this. I'm innocent, I promise! We caught you at 27 different angles doing this. Oh. [beat] I plead the 5th. Ohh. Cerulean. My favorite. c R A Y On Oh, I get it, I L L U M I N A T U S. Nice, it worked. I know everything about you. So you do. [beat] You're a God. What the fuck do you want from me. Listen. I. Am not. A God, Right. That's exactly what a God would say. No they wouldn't! Because a God wouldn't say anything! AHA. Don't ‘AHA' ME. I don't mind, at all It don't matter— to me I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me Might as well not think about it The space between us Might as well just stay awake then No sense in leaving Just to come back It don't matter to me, now Now and again I go crazy just making arrangements, But besides that, If you like it, you should have it It's a long road, As Kaskade says, And a short dance, With the right one And time goes by I would call it mild, But actually I'm in a wild panic It might be a heart attack I just might even Die right here But I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me I don't mind—at all It don't matter to me, I said I don't mind, at all, now It really don't matter to me I said, I don't mind, at all It really don't matter to anyone Now does it (Not it doesn') I don't mind, at all It don't matter— to me I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me Might as well not think about it The space between us Might as well just stay awake then No sense in leaving Just to come back Palpitations and precipitations at the pulpit Preacher, please don't make me a culprit I been prayin— I been paying my tithes, 10% Even, Now 25, Almost half of me is not mine! Why try? I've been walking out, in straight lines I been crying silently It ain't right I been making most of my nights Sometimes I see sun come up twice Up, down up 10 degrees, It ain't right Up down up 33, it ain't right Up, down, up I've been spending my time Down, up, down Riding round, Trying not to down in my mind Up, down up What is this. It's my project. What is it? The Festival Project. Yeah but—what— What. Is it? …it's my project. *painfully infuriated* Okay, enter here. EXAM ROOM 10 Why exam room 10? Because. Where are the other nine? Just—get in. I'm not going in there! JUST GET IN. UGH. DEADMAU5 (head and all) stands at a tall podium in the center of the room) What is this, This is deadmau5. I know that. —-!!! —?!? What. !!! What? This is the exam? Yes! NO. What is “no”. I'm not playing for deadmau5. That's the exam. Then I fail! Automatic Fail? yes. Automatic fail. Then you win. What. *slams gavel* Congratulations—you're the next superstar DJ. WhY. . What. Woohoo! I just retired! DEADMAU5 exits. … … After a few moments of comic tension, the Deadmau5 head rolls back in through the exit which he has taken. Ugh. Fuck this. No matter what you do, you're a superstar DJ. What. No! Yes. The answer is yes. NO. Fuck. What the FUCK. No matter what you do. You want to go, Go, you want to die, Die, you want to try, try You want to cry, cry Do what you want; As so will I, Demand is demand— Supply is supply. EDX So then, I followed this long hallway under the stage deck. Uh huh. And it led to a door— Uhhuh, where'd the door lead? To a portal. Woah. Pasqualle! You made it! I—yes. Congratulations! *blows party horn* *Daisies/ confetti* You're like 25! I'll be 25 forever. Nice! Yeah. I guess that's why it's called ‘music'—a musician without muses is just useless. ‘Well, whose next?' I wondered. All of my muses were not just so wonderful to me, but adored by many—and perhaps this is what allured me most—befuddled ans confounded me; once my mind was set on something, there was nothing else its eye could see—and for how long one God could only know, how deep the love would go and that the blood would run deep, and the scars to show for it, only upon my heart and never by soul—for a love was a love, and even once came and gone, to the end of my life I knew I would still ponder upon them, at one time or another, my muses—star studded lovers, rather than crossed, shiny and golden like all diamond and trophies so treasured and thought of as precious. ‘Yes, you are—precious.' Another tongue in cheek thought, for the other that I was, and also was not, as summer drew onward as short as it would come and go—a reminder to leave the apartment more often, and to mind my manners, to find the upper echelon wherever it was and come quietly into its doors, to open my world and wordform of thought, into a place where my heart always was; then, and only then, would I be home. Amongst the men and women of the uppercut and classy, luxurious big fishing ponds and flocks of doves upon olive branches—the peaceful world long parted from where mine was, by only the fault of my own. What had been done just certainly was, and yet, what was to come was an open poem, not of mine, but Godform in thought. ‘I wonder what's at the top of Rockefeller Plaza.' —perhaps, a gander at the bottom of an even larger entertainment complex. Then, again, only God would know what was beyond all that I wanted; a job—and not just any job at all— the one that I had always wanted. Mmm. Birthday cake. Suddenly the taste of a white confetti crème filled my mouth with a delicious remnince of what it might be like to taste a confectionary sugar again—but i couldn't imagine ever making it just on talent and charisma alone—no. Indeed, it seemed something had damaged my charm, and perhaps it was just the swarms and droves of phone controlled masses that saw me as nothing more than dust, I had started to surrender my desire to perform, and the quality of my music—along with my ability to make it, suffered with the awful thing that had been crowding my soul at all—whatever it was, evil and dark in nature, sure saw to it that it wanted to hurt me in all the ways that it could—and in all the ways it could not, I stayed away from most others, favoring my delusions of love. ‘Nobody seems to understand that the pain they cause will only harm themselves.', I thought Younger souls, however, they were—and they would be kept in the pain that I was in one way or another until eventual death, far behind me on the infinite road to the source. Far enough behind, that it seeked to destroy my progress, and for all that it could, it also couldn't. The infliction of pain would simply not act as a measure for control any longer. Off into my own world, where I was at least free from the thoughts and judgement of others. She's the most beautiful girl, And I'm the most beautiful boy; So naturally, we belong together, don't we? I see a pretty picture, Picket fences and a family Golden Retrievers Someone relieve her; She doesn't believe me TV dreams and exquisite pretty people Burning candles, fire flames and frequent figures, Guest characters and cameos, Repeat offenders, multiple appearances Suddenly, really, it's another need People, people pleasers Audience affection, Tragic endings, Butterflies and new beginnings Gun under my tongue, Rubber like a frog My mind is in a fog Haven't bothered going on a walk To Trader Joe's but The anthem of my youth, A lost soul Another form of my love So what I wonder Put the gun up under my chin Rubber like a frog Blow my head off Just cause I didn't blow up Selfish cunt Big brother, Another hypnotist Little brother, Gotta love him Gotta love em For the Love of God I could stop for a moment Wash my mind out with soap Like I'm ten years younger, even Seriously 20 years between us, You can't even hide underwater In a bathtub Seriously, Someone help us For the love of God, for the love of Hollywood Seriously, Someone love us, For the love of God, For the love of Rockefeller Plaza Someone help us Another possible walk of stars A little shop of horrors Another whole story I get rid of my demons The hoes screamin I put semen in her Permanent like semen, Just keep dreamin I'mma just keep preaching SaMo, Brooklyn Europe Next I keep scheming Whoever you are; If you're a wreck— You need a check No respect, neglect Just cover your neck (I'm blind to my own design, sometimes) That's what the eye is Try this: Close your eyes and say thrice, kids I am the God of the eye, Osiris I am the God of the Eye, I'm Osiris I am the God, I walk amongst the highest Thoth, You lost Better just die and keep trying I am the God of the eye, I am (Try this) I am the God of the eye (I never die) I am the God of the eye (That's right, three times) I am the God of the eye No black and white television, In my dimension we pay attention to centrifugal, The mission isn't in materialism, Whatever youre spending If money the God, l of your eye, Realize, I am higher My gunfire, Is right on the back of The one dollar I am the God of the eye I Am Your money is nothin to us We come in peace, To end suffering Pretty little nigga Look just like Kendrick Kickin it with jigga I'm the new higs boson Part of me never left Boston (Fuck Starr!) Part of me never left homeless This ain't my home It's my office You never heard this song You don't notice I'm an ugly kid, you don't notice me Rooftop smells like soy sauce On god I am ugly You don't notice -Atari the God Can we get back to this, please? Damn. She really whooped her ass, though. Janet, can I borrow you for a second? No. Please. [Whoopi Goldberg appears in the doorway, gesturing “c'mon”] …alright. I got convictions on my lips, I took a picture Turn the page The worst of all was, it really did seem like they were racists— INSOMNIAC EVENTS Not just racists— the most deadly kind of racists. WHITE SUPREMACISTS You really want it this way, don't you? No! I LOVE you! Oh, do you? If there's a mile in here, I swear to god.. Are you high enough yet? I thought so HIGHER! hire star* What. Just do it. You remember these guys, right? GOOD CANNABIS, FAIRBANKS, ALASKA No. Why are we back here. Alright, we might have fucked up. Why. This guy sucks. HEY. What. COME BACK TO ALASKA never that. WHAT, WHY NOT! GOD HATES FAGS!!! Well, you're wrong! WHITE POWER. Nah. ALL LIVES MATTER O rly? Even this guy? Literally every “NO” …so, “all lives.” Look, I don't care what color it is; I want that book in my library. GO TO THE LIVRARY. NO. GET IN HERE. NO AUBREY. STAY DEAD. She's dead, right? YOU CALLED ME HERE. I didn't! You Did. I did not, all i said was *swoons* …I love her. (I really do) WHAT?! “I Love you?!” It was more the *swoon* that did it. Disconnect. Fuck, I lost deadmau5 again What'd you do to him? Nothing! Put him back! He's still there! He's right there, you see him? No! This isn't deadmau5. We want deadmau5. bring him BACK. Fuck, I fucked up. What'd you do? …nothing? Pick up the phone Pick up the phone …hello? Who IS this? Fuck it, I quit. Man, God never puts my dishes back in the right place, like ever. I told you, I don't live here, I'm just… Babysitting. CC! What! CC! What? CC WHAT. Fuck, man. That was wild. Where the fuck have you been? I don't know. You don't know—you smell funny. “Funny” is that what that smell is? No. When were you? When? Ha. Did you—- Did I what? —did you go to a party without me? Lmfao fuck these niggaz. Why, what happened. What's this. Where was it?! Idlewild. “IdLeWiLd”?!?!? You. Old. One here and die, you know, l. It's cattle call for curtain calls guy Where did this go— What was this, once? It's the return Welcome to Oz This is the Tower of Babel Remember; I wrote that Better than the bottom, Still not the top —it's not as fast, when it's not going all the way up Did you jump yet Come around more Keep coughing Are you sure this is where it was or—? Somewhere else I stayed Back when I was homeless It's hopeless! We lost her Antenna, antenna SUPERMARKET I loved her —she was undercover —I'm still in your stirrups I'm lost in New York, then BACKFIRE Adele remix is on [have a seat] Can I go now? I still need a hat, a half dollar and an alter cloth You could win an award for this; I don't want an award, I just want my son back Motherhood, motherhood Brotherhood, brotherhood This isn't one of us! No one was No one was Can I go now? Where to? Home! Nope, that's just the office, I'm still homeless, unless I They got cabanas on top of offices! (The rich and the famous) Networking and brunches— _this looks fun, doesn't it? I altered the course of history In brief exchanges and Various social atrocities This is hypocrisy! lol rly This is hypocrisy!! Hyper awareness and, psychic inclinations… You realize the more low quality people you let in The more low quality this country becomes, don't you? I put a roll in the back of the chosen ones. Used to be cast more, Now something seldom ever happens Such as this— A fun Fortune 500 What does that even mean Forbes. Look it up. What if the policy is Foreign; Look it up. I know enough about the girl next door to know Something is horrible, Something inside of her Rots at the core, Her obsession; My undeservedness of such, What she must, I mustn't, just Unjustice Broski, okay I got to discard All the pichardo Besides just this one (I'm standing on top of you) Put somebody worthy on the fourth floor Worse off, I was done for Before I got to New York What's her for?! I know enough about the man upstairs to know All these glares and “How dare you's” and Hatred says Why would you wait 30 years Until today, I guess Something is certainly off about her. I said yes. It was more probably something like “SUCK MY DICK” What. “YOU HEARD ME” Oh yes, I did. From 1990 to 1993 From 1990 To 1993 From 1990 To 1993 Stop breeding these things, “Love is familiarity” No Love is what you make it But you can't Because of slavery They don't make music —they don't make love either Well, look where your lust took you! Nowhere! Exactly! Look where your love took you: Vegas, Los Angeles, South of the Border Above it a New Yorker— Under budget, Celibate and My arms are too short to jump the turnstyle, Meanwhile My ex husband left permanent scars on My face My lips My arms My hands And my heart. Did you bite him? Of course I bit him, he was strangling me. You definitely won this fight. I know. Look, if I don't call for security, This bitch is gonna make me kill her. OCTOPUSSY NO. What. NO. Stankass. I will KILL this bitch. Look, I gotta get ahead in this. I need a WIN. These are customs. Trash. Wash your pussy. Send her back. Nah, you know what. Remove that hex. Wait, what, really?! Yeah, like; Reverse it. Woah. That's crazy. They got like….white slaves now. That's not right. What do you mean. That's not it. You said “reverse it” This is what the white supremacy just did to everyone else: [world in crisis except for for people who look like Kayla Lauren, to whom EVERYTHING is a fucking crisis, that isn't] BECKY/KAREN/WICKED WITCH OF WHITE AMERICA I AM OFFENDED I'm offended that you signed your like 12 year old daughter up to pose nearly nude, but— Hey look, it's us now; is this freedom?! Uh…. Why are all the female models like 12 and all the male models are fully grown men— Or women. Right. Idk. Wait, I do. You do?! Wait. Something tells me all the pedophiles and all the white supremacists are in the same group… Run the same businesses— Have the same families. This is disgusting Okay, this is gross That's not right ! That's not my job! Oh, it's not!!? NO. Who should I call That guy. So you want this? Oh, it's a death curse?! It will NEVER end. Wanna bet. I'll kill you and take the whole world with me. Now that's a threat. Thing is, I'm actually making it. I'm telling on you! Ok. Wait 30 years though so you look and sound REALLY fucking stupid. Ok. 30 YEARS. Doesn't make sense. What's the statute of limitations for— Hm. Depends. Depends on what. Who are you?! WHO ARE YOU?! NOBODY YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. THEN WHY DO I? wtf is this? This is Texas being petty. Ok, fuck ya‘lol YAW. I'm serious, wtf is wrong with you. Something. What. Fix me. Fix you. Hm. Ok. *COUGHING* Somethings wrong here. Yep, it's definitely some kind of FIX IT. Where's this ROCK? At the ROCK. Like, where tho?! Ur gonna need this. What. They r crucifying u. Noted. Hunts Point Food Distribution Center Lmfao I need this word hold on “eliminating redundancies, setting strict timelines, and allowing cases to proceed contemporaneously” [ Finally, recognizing the danger that social media poses to young people and mental health, New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene Commissioner Dr. Ashwin Vasan today issued a Health Commissioner's Advisory identifying unfettered access to and use of social media as a public health hazard, just as past U.S. surgeons general have done with tobacco and firearms.] A win. I don't play dead. What do you call this: DIE! DIE, BITCH! Corrections. I still don't understand how this— ACID HAPPENS. Out of sight Out of mind So why these guys Tryna waste my time Tryna fuck with my mind with All these lights OH MY GOD I ain't got time for that Well, Maybe I do— I just Don't like NIGGAZ LIKE YOU. (Say what) I don't like Niggaz like U! I'm Sunnï Blū! You're stupid Oh, so he put a curse on sunni blu, too? Ok. Cool. When all my aliases come up This dumb motherfucking drunk Is gonna get stuck In his own woods He'll bury himself In the words that he left With the scars In the words that he left With the scars Sunni blu Is the sayer of stars I slaughtered them all Swallowed them whole Like a big black hole I'm a big black god I'm a big black God Fuck Twinkle that broad One punch girl One punch girl 5 punch faggot I'll unwrap flags on your Goddamn Fuck that Put a curse on my alter ego Lucky he's a he, tho I blow holes in em I blow smoke And love sausage I'm a hedon And he not a Hero He broke He lost I'm open Shirts vs skins I got 666 Curses to show you What your words did IM RA I'm a big black God You're at home with the young apostle Let's be honest He never even liked his father So turned him to a mother, Told his mother to ‘run far, And bring back The life that I want' I'm a big black God In light skinned clothing You don't know to explode Or explode on me Cause my mommy's a Dark skinned icon That my God Find something to pass the time, God Sunni with I, huh I won Fuck a pedophile wifebeater Bury him in the woods with his fury Fear me, now I'm coming up with reverse curses And cures Cause my words Bought the whole world Buried you in the woods I'll bury you in the woods, Bitch Very good I'm a big black God -Blū. GOD is the GOAT I just became god I do what I want I get what I want when I want it I don't want no problems Me myself and God only I buy everything I used to steal These tears in my heart say I'm healing What's the difference, anyway? I've never been fit for your interests, or industry Add insult to injury Add everything to my Amazon cart, then My sympathies Nothing is greater in heaven As it is in hell, for this industry Turned on its head And turned over from 7 to ten Check your messages, then Shut up kid, this doesn't involve you You're not included in the package Michael c hall and John c Riley reprise Mr. Cellophane in the style of DEXTER MORGAN. HA. Classic. GOT EM. V.O. I met her at The Jumping Point {Coming Up…} INT. THE JUMPING POINT POP-UP NIGHTCLUB LOUNGE & BAR. NIGHT “A Long Day's Night” / “A Hard Day's Night” C {CONFUSION SPELL, SUCCESSFUL} [Sequence Initiated.] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

god tv love jesus christ music american new york amazon fear texas money health trust power google ai peace man rock los angeles las vegas dogs anxiety fall dj home writing simple er mit guns holy satan south funny night class forbes fortune taylor swift academy espn grammy started champion temple cold broadway sun run mcdonald dark beyonce quit fight networking motherhood manhattan straight speech queens dinner worse shit burning worthy audience cheese trash gotta bar lol drunk wicked heads galaxy fuck new yorker tower jamaica riding congratulations wtf remove writers classic blow reverse solid wondering butterflies supply bitch infinite images yellow wash scratch shut foreign younger peacock selfish bought closet manipulation copyright realize keller john lennon fix repeat nah tight shut up permanent semi lemon buried alec baldwin tequila tragic hyper bill murray brotherhood infants hanukkah remind hatred urgent ham waking aha i love lexington cc mm mister ashamed whoopi goldberg shirts artemis curses atari officers corrupt jimmy fallon corrections uncommon bury disconnect jb int automatic speaking in tongues advisory ambulance nevermind ur complications trader joe marked walked t rex rubber keep up irony cents hm wham bob saget rooftop kg mischief idk shabbat stumble kite reminding kosher wilhelm chevy chase skrillex rue polite babysitting mmm social studies wrecked hum closest damages kimmel no love superb dammit hem samo deadmau5 fix it goddamn shy who are you hard days fairbanks caddyshack rodney dangerfield printed harold ramis oof ata swallowed sunni cyclones atop geez lmfao skr shhhh antenna jeez defended thoth long day ohh hah daisies tryna aww slattery new york city department celibate happy accidents oh shit fuckers dangerfield god can suck it up rots picket white power jesse pinkman aight ramis sunn whatchu noh god for uuml god get idlewild cerulean swore health commissioner god find karmas satan jesus dexter morgan yaw grossing hallmark cards cellophane stay dead nevel ted knight cindy morgan palpitations god so say uncle rockefeller plaza liz lemon goddamnit google documents brian doyle murray scatterbrained get gone neatly ahaha mother of pearl get in the van iambic just let go ashwin vasan sonny moore god hates fags slatts

{Caddyshack} - Happy Accidents

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 65:01

“Caddyshack” (A Mumtidimentional Mixtape) {Enter The Multiverse} From Wikipedia: Caddyshack is a 1980 American sportscomedy film directed by Harold Ramis, written by Brian Doyle-Murray, Ramis and Douglas Kenney, and starring Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe and Bill Murray with supporting roles by Sarah Holcomb, Cindy Morgan, and Doyle-Murray. It tells the story of a caddie, vying for a caddie scholarship, who becomes involved in a feud on the links between one of the country club's founders and a nouveau riche guest. A subplot involves a greenskeeper who uses extreme methods against an elusive gopher. Caddyshack was Ramis's directorial debut and boosted the career of Dangerfield, who was previously known mostly for his stand-up comedy. Grossing nearly $40 million at the domestic box office (the 17th-highest of the year),[3] it was the first of a series of similar comedies. The film has a cult following and was described by ESPN as "perhaps the funniest sports movie ever made" SAUCE (IN CASE YOU MISSED IT) —- AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN. OH SHIT! Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy. Oh nooo. Oh, yes. Look at this penny. I see you. Now look into my eyes. I see you, Jesus. Ahahaha! Okay, now what? This shit is twisted I missed the shift of the dimensions— Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies For some cigarettes and swishers, Just to get the picture It's 5 AM again, And it's still Infinite, I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA, Or just living, period— But it is what it is, I work for my rent, I've repented for this, Used to sleep in a tent, But when I was an Infant, I instantly— Wait, a customer walked in. I better help him. Heaven help him. Another level, Call dr. Nevel, Or an Ambulance, I just can't get it Just can't get it, Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess. Took you long enough, didn't it? That took forever. How are you alive? Maybe I'm not. Finally, we agree on something. Oh, this guy Lol. Good to see you again. Likewise, now— Here it goes… As you promised. Working on it. As I promised. Take my heart for granted, Take my soul, If this is loveless Till the end, I just can't manage, having Thoughts of death and tragic ends I haven't Felt the same since Waking up without the day to come ahead; The day has passed again A test, No fail, or pass It's just progressive, In a trance, It's just the stress, It's just to pass the time, I guess, if this is purpose Then, we'll see if this is worth it Now, or never, then Now or never, Never had a friend, All envious at best, This is the end all, In the end, it's just Me and God, And God would want A better body, To have fun I wished it all at once, And then I watched it crumble Oh, I watched it Stumble in, again, my friend I'm different when it's wet, I might not never see the Sun again I might not ever love again Oh well “Oh well” , I said Oh, well, I guess Oh well Okay. One hour left. Okay. Who gets the gold? Hum. Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7. Play Iambic. What, right now? Yeah, play Iambic. Uh… Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with anything else I had written and had yet the advantage of placing anywhere besides my podcast channels, which I constantly thought about cancelling, despite its innumerous downloads—nothing really seemed to matter anymore, as I was trapped in my body, in a loveless world, in a dead-end job and though my bed was clean and comfy, sharing the room wirh 3 others became exhausting. INT. SMOKESHOP. 5:58 AM DREW BARRYMORE … SUPACREE … I'm done. I quit. QUIT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT. Nope. That's it. I quit. You can't quit. I just did. I hadn't quit the music industry—the music industry had quit me. I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, light skinned enough, or willing to do what any of the other girls were to get ahead. WTF is THIS. Since you like to troll so much, I just thought I'd turn you into one This is not Kosher, 199x Jimmy Fallon; Let me out of this plastic —not exactly “fireproof” — death box, before I let myself out, and I trap you in it. But oh, You already did. FIGHT. UGH OH. Ok, rotate. Who is this. Oh shit, hey dude. FUCK, what year is it? MEANWHILE, Under the bridge. …anybody seen this, uh… *Troll* Yee! *Troll* Alright. That's it. Everything checks out. The story was air tight. TIGHT, TIGHT I want you to wear this tonight “The Lady In The Red Dress” You really went all out for this I really didn't. lol Oh I see, You thought this was the matrix. MIT I WISH GOD Wish what. MIT … Mm. Did u see that. See what. ALRIGHT FUCK THIS, YA'LL IT GOT SERIOUS, WHERE'S MY CYCLOPS He called me his cyclops— —-and then he said LIKE GET OUT WHAT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE WHY CAUSE YOURE JUST A PIÑATA, MAN! And I ain't got time for that! I just got a DeLorean And a new HAT I gotta go get Oof. WRECKED. Yo, Wicked. KENDRICK (TODDLER) WIZARD. Oh my. I'm J00F'd up. | | | trance | | | Look; I gotta get out of this MOTHER OF PEARL do not beach this whale carcas on my warehouse project A what A beached whale I know You brought a beached whale to my fucking rave show Oh I get it It's Avant- Guarde No, that's just how I got here …. Trust me, it's okay that This never happened You did not see me It's because I wasn't there Is this U Ū No I wasn't there. Ü I was. Fuck. What happened. It's ok. All I remember is “The Quatardashians” Hmm Also The indigenous But that's it But mostly that was all just Jesus showing off his flexes Are u fasting? Yes, “Ū” is. So, do you need this?! TRUMPP Get rid of this recording imiidiately GOT IT. kill that bitch. SKRILLEX Yessir. —-but before all that happens. …did you want fries with that?! Why are we boycotting McDonald's —for poisoning —the allies —our enemies. Wait, you're eating this? Yes. Like, for fun, or like? No. This is what I'm feeding my children Why Cause they hungry. Uh, ok— —and there's six of them. Aight, ya'll can each have one nugget with your— I wanted a cheese burger! You git hamburgers. Ham. Cheese costs CENTS; And you know your momma If I ain't about a dollar - A dollop of Daisy You really are Ashamed of his Alright, you evil bastards. I see you want to Cause suffering Correct For which you will eternally recurve damnnation and all of the pain you've caused Karmas a bitch It's lonely at the top Not when you're GOD Get off my rock Did you miss an appointment? Nah, can't do it Why what happened Too high up. Whatchu mean So what, it's just like Done. Well, this is it, huh guys. Oh, yeah, it's that, alright This is the longest ride we ever took.d This is the ONLY ride we ever took. I WANNA GET OFF THIS RIDE. I AM REALLY HIGH UP. JUST LET GO. NO. NO. NO. Put me down, kite!!! KITE wtf do you want me to do. I'm a KITE. I'm YOU FUCKIN KIKE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—- Well, I'll be honest, man, this sets you back, some How far back GET GONE, But? We're dinosaurs. Why would something with razor sharp teeth be so— —peaceful, and friendly?? T-REX …cuddles. I just can't fake the feeling( I can't pretend to cry It just comes, when it does But when the well runs dry That's when the the world will end That's when the world will end After this movie, I guarantee we will no longer need the Wilhelm scream AGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! YAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIGGGHHHHHHH UUUUUUUUUUUUU This movie broke the world record for the amount of times the word “No” was screamed NO NOH. NO. ‘No! NOOOOOOOOOOO! NONONO. NOOOOOOOAAAAAHH …No! Here they all come for her, Defended upon New York In order of important, or appearance? One doesn't wonder, At al, of what's to come Uncommon, we are The call has come TRACY My tummy hurts. That's probably because you've been drinking straight tequila for the last hour and a half. No I haven't! This is water! Tequila is YELLOW, Liz Lemon! No, Tracy—that's silver tequila, And regular tequila is, You know what? Nevermind. Alright, who's got the night shift? [nobody raises their hand, at all] Seriously guys?! Come on! COME ON! Look up WHAM! For some reason, idk. Can we just— not do this? No. Out of my mind a bit Speaking in tongues, In total silence Guess it's the times, I guess that's just who I am And who I am is I said I was Sam I'm the same, I said, “Say Uncle” I guess it's a game, we're playing I don't want to be played with At all I just want to feel loved again By someone else Superb, like him I just want to be felt, I guess By someone else That's “Different” I just want to be kissed on the lips A splendid blend of Twisted trysts Let's not pretend It hasn't ended yet Until you've finished it Class dismissed again Let me off of it I just want it to stop Keep rolling Keep rolling your eyes in the back of your head Like you did just morning Just go for a walk Just stop for a moment Run a bath And just keep running Cause here something comes, Of course, It's all your callings Neatly rolling into one, They said But I Just want to be loved again And who doesn't That's the fucked up part I just want to be loved again But nobody ever Just comes up I just want to be loved again It's a walk in the park Don't follow the dog Even if he barks at you It's time to start again I wonder what comes after this part You are the gleaning in the shadows, The reckoning in my eye, The siren in my silence; The green in all the lights, I am a shamed to have just been One of your many One of your many Images, You still have me twisted, I miss you, It's just you, at the end, Again I left you where you left me Solid on solid Sounds are invalid now How are you so Swore by your awesome No more songs, I said No more songs, he's dead to me No more songs! She's inlisted He's uninterested, Isn't this interesting The problem is: I'm still in love with Everyone i've ever been in love with (And I love him) But he doesn't remember my Name And he's famous And she's crazy And he hates her But he made me hate him The day I became you The day I became So famous, I finally made it I'm dead It smells like dill in here At least it doesn't smell like dead mouse. Aha. Youre Hellen. Keller or Mirin How would you be Hellen Miren Cause I'm the Queen. posh. You want to die Well, you better do it quick Better get your shit toggether, paint a l Bigger, better picture Bitter Betty gliching steady Just remember when you're ready Ever steady still forgetting dinner Dessert was already Forget this significance Remind me why I'm on this speeding bullet to nowhere Had no other options but to go under for something Shy, sickness it's a secret Just kill me already Semi robotic, Something like a magnet, attracted, Simply symphonies And soulless bodies, tied to money Wonder what was in the vaccum cleaner meaning What did you suck up, dude Who do you suck up to. When nobody loves you But your own son And the audience is robots Nothing really works more than once, if it's really magic Sit and do nothing would you Like you're supposed to Fall over like the mannequin you are Just a body in my count A mattress without a bespost, if it matters If it matters Doesn't really matter But hey, you know We all go downtown every once or twice a note For Hanukkah I could try to be nice But there's no sense in it, Is there If everything and everyone else is just as nasty As the rest of it Just is just a test, again A doctors office visit. Simple robotics, Or already stocked up for Hanukkah, Hollywood Where's your homeland deposit box Closet full of robots Closest to the moon, I wrote another poem for you Sorry that I wasn't on the offering table The parakeet, pigeon and pirated Slattery, Damages, damages, All with the Amazon packages, Now we're all robots, Aren't we What corporation to you belong to! Something corporate , or say anything Whose to say Jeff Besoz won't replace us With m robots with thought processes, If once such could project as such presence As an AI freestyle Meanwhile, I've got a butload of buckets and bunts, Bullletwounds, eyes on Manhattan and happens to wish something bad upon me When all I wanted is Somebody to love me And someone to love him, If that's what he wanted (But who knows if what he wanted was all of the bodies opposite of him) I don't belong on this planet I belong in the garbage Put me on mars, mom Stop it, You're almost a robot, get out of my peripheral With your mental illness Geez, I must really want a menorah This is the animal house There's no one alive here Set to be slaughters. Honor the box of offerings as Thoughtful words And parallels What could be under your tongue Is the surface of love Just to touch with the battery acid or chemical trails You have left in your axis Nobody knows better than this How close it is to touching Without being loved But nobody loves you Psychotron, sure we're all robots now Nobody loves anymore {Previously, On…} L E G E N D S The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū {Enter The Multiverse} Ascension What the FUCK did you DO? What did I do?! You know what you did! I didn't do anything! Oh yeah? No! Not on purpose! GODDAMMIT, YOU SON OF A— Where's Jimmy Fallon?! What?! I don't know! Oh no. Oh shit, run. Oh no. What in the FUCK— I am “the fuck” You know what. I'm gonna sue the everliving shit out of you. For WHAT. We'll see. Fuck. Uh oh. FUCK. What now? What this time? Apparently, Jimmy Fallon is missing. What the fuck does that got to do with me. We'll see. Okay, great, Now finish that chapter. What fucking chapter?! All of it. That's—a lot. I want all of it. By my desk, by noon tomorrow. “By” your desk?! Yes, BY. Not ON. I've got too much stuff on my desk— …but it's…like 9 o clock. Should be easy, given your natural talents. What natural talents. PEACOCK. AHAHAHAHA. Okay. Well. Well what. This sucks. I lost all my coins. Hey. Ugh. You dropped this. So how was Los Angeles. What the fuck. You fucking DICK. I told you, I own shares in this. So what's the plan for this, exactly. I dunno, Harry. I got a book of stamps, And a yellow envelope marked “Jimmy Fallon” I will hate you forever. Well, that's retarded. I haven't even smited you yet. I will annihilate you, human. WHERE'S MY SHIT. Who the fuck are you, anyway? Nobody! No one. No one cares about this series, yo. I'l seriously doubt that, Jesse Pinkman. What is this stuff. It's your stuff. This is not what I ordered— Hey— Why is it BLUE Cause it is. So. WHY IN THE— Mischief managed. Alright. This should be good for the night, but we gotta get out of here by morning; I thought your parents owned this place. It's a time share! So? So it's like only —part of the time. That is stupid. No! You're stupid! You're the one who got us into this mess. It's your mess, I was just cleaning it up! Whatever! Stop trippin. Nobody's “tripping.” That's it. I'll be a stripper. Straight outta hell, that kid. Don't I know it. Alright, fine. I said, whatever you do— DONT watch this show. Stuff it, J. Slatts. I'll kill you with my eyeballs Sounds like a threat. Put on a lawsuit, then. Maybe I oughtta… —with a bow tie. You'll look so pretty. I thought I was already pretty. Uh huh. Yeah, look, so honestly I don't know if I'll ever be on the same vibration as like, Jimmy Fallon and them, ok? I don't know how I did it; I don't know what did it, It just happened and then— And then WHAT. It just—ended. Just like that. I'm not trying to offend anybody here. Just like that. Now, I ask: What are we going to do to sell you this dream? Doesnt matter what you do, I'll never believe it. Sure, fine; Don't believe it— We're gonna make you live it. Who the hell us “we” anyway? Now you're speaking in my cadence— Don't flatter yourself I like it. Too late, I guess. So, you see We're building Power triangles And love squares Power triangles And love squares Don't let it scare you, There's love there Don't let it scare you, There's love there Never fear where love has dared To call you up there Corrupt file—no fair. Don't be suprised even the odds seem to turn in your favor, I promise you; Nobody's ever ready For what has just happened here. WAKE UP, FUCKER. Ugh, I can't go through this again. So, I guess I'll have to erase, Or just secretly publish Everything I've ever written About my actual experience as a color, Just so that I can earn money As anything other than A slave— A maid, A housekeeper, A dog walker Or servitor So far under her, That I can't see far enough up to just Scratch the surface Her birthright: The entire network And mine, To sit under her, Wondering what the world would be like At the other end of the spectrum The word form of the White woman The wicked witch of all directions, In which I stand in; I'm at her mercy I've been abandoned before But this disservice, is, I'm afraid The best advice I can take is just To go straight to the bank with my angst and my hatred And shove it So here comes the nameless Face I love, Yet, The faceless God, Was Intoxicated, at best— Manipulation of the Mass Media I'm so Seriously jaded In this torture chamber In my corner office In this hall of racists, I claim, but if all is One in the same Then It's one in the same And I'm mainstream I'm famous If it's One in the same Then It's one in the same If it's One in the same Then I'm mainstream I'm so famous In a whole room full of humans I'm groomed to be useful for something, But what? It just hasn't come yet. I could sit down with a paper and pen, But I'm filling up all of my documents With hollandaise and God For what? It's just another song, or something Or something. It's just another — Goddamnit it, more coughs again. I told you not to watch this. Why do I taste pancakes? Maybe you're having a stroke again. Chyeah, a stroke of genius. I'll show you a stroke. Or don't. Well, there goes the captain. where is that scene, anyway? I don't know, I just wrote it. Great, she left the door open. She's got no furniture! It's a “dance floor” It's “the black box” she called it “the black box” Goddamn, do you listen to all her stuff? “Fear stimulates my imagination” Pilot ASOT Fuck man, What is a woman to a man, And an androgynous genius to The industry, or anyone at all If all are foes ans frauds All else is toxic! I woke up with one hand tucked behind my back Feeling dead drunk, I just woke up again But never fell asleep What world am I in? The end of the Dream sequence The end of the energy keeping me between three things: My past, My future And these prequels, Sequels And seeing arrangements And She's going crazy But nobody quite understands That these demons are chasing me saying “You deserved those hands in your face” The scratches on Kayla's back should have had me but I was too fat To find love again And still have something Wonderfully, undone And wrong with me Wrong with me enough to slam poetry So I'm guessing the white women I love beyond words and bounds are— In charge of whatever happens At the top of the rock; So I jumped off. I want to see someone suffer for all that I've done; No, that's dark, and karmic, you know— To go on like that; The confusions and refusal to accept that The album is called ChaosMagick, But the cover is more Urgent, A prose or a pawn of protection Against all the coughs And the reckless mismanagement The hands in my head And the eye on my scar And the lies on my heart So tell me, What happens When you're flying a kite with your heart, And it's broken? What happens to the kite , When you fly it with your heart And your art up in bundles— heartbroken, heartbroken So what come of Miss May, Come January? What come of Miss April By Next December what comes of the words I was saying For no one But everyone heard them And I've been gone Much longer than months, But still stocked up on all that I've wanted Or all that I got Or just, all that I love But got no undercovers to acknowledge no more How right I was Or how wrong I am What come of Miss June, when Miss January comes around? what come now, around August, When March is long forgotten? What comes of the drugs, Of the come ups, and come downs What comes of the process When nothing is served But the surf has come up Somewhere And I just can't love enough To go there I want to go to there I want to be that girl I want to sit at the top of the rock Writing songs, and sipping mock cocktails I want to Don't you know I just want to get back to Where I belong I'm so out of money and love That I want to be Under the train, When it's coming (Sometimes it's just the impulse that says “GO” Then the train starts to slow And my pain bubbles up into a numb, Dumb, crumbling cluster of poetry You know? Or you don't Cause you're all just on your phones Scrolling Some black man stands over me, Reminding me of why I never trust the ones Who want me most, Or just assume, By color code, That I belong to them I'm sorry, I just can't write with your arms around my neck like this Your heart around my arms like this It's so wholesome I had other verses but forgot them They took away my movies for the curses And the hexes That they put on me I said don't. And the king said “Heads will roll” Cause, you know; I've got parts for all of them now, The ones I'd forgotten But come from the catacombs, Back from the conduit You know, This is awful I had another one, But lost it. The king?! Which one. Teas I! No, it wasn't, It was Gían's father, From further off Should I call John back? Which one? Turns out, I love all of them— Turns out, I've got all of them In my college I taught them all to be someone Becoming of acknowledgement With nombres most common Juan, in subcultures, but Beyond that (Or above them) It's John, Or just Jonathan, Watch the ones who drop the consanant; They're always so troublesome, But I took them all up As understudies, Social Studies and some theatrics, Joan of Ark said Two more moments (Two more weeks in) I could have a body worthy Of a Grammy award, but — Would I be a writer then? Probably not, hon— Writers are Off a bit. If you were pretty, ever at all— would you have written this?! If I were pretty at all would there be reason to be this Conflicted? Some of those old New York hallways Haven't been painted In ages Since they made them Don't make that face at me I only dropped my key once On the fourth floor —they're horrible, you know To us, The “brothers” know no love They are destruction, speaking Of this, I got a cold heart. Cold like the robber Cold like the calling I've done in my corner office cold, like the jello mold forming a thought process Worthy enough I might love it like a husband We're re-evaluating your circumstances. Whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. I've got friends at USPS What the fuck could that even account to. Look, I'm gonna have to give this some serious considerations. It's not that serious. It's not that serious. Of course it is! I'm up to my knees in investments! So?! I wade a waiste deep, Surely you can get by “Up to your knees” What exactly do you need? Money. And lots of it. I mean, from me. Money. Really? Leave me alone. I told you not to write this. You're a voice in my head; No, I'm the hand in your mailbox. What in the fuck do you believe in. I believe in everything! They said you were a genius; I didn't expect you to be —at the very least, lucid— *squints* learn some new vocabulary, okay? For what? Dinner. Maybe. We're still in the process of voting. She's crazy. We'd be crazy not to actually hire her. Her accounts are all practically open; We could just take it. Yeah, and when she kills herself, and there's no blood on our hands— There's nothing that can be done about the amount of this stuff that's already printed! Printed?! What?! You mean— She's published? Self-published. My, what a beautiful happenstance To have already had you And awakened atop mattresses Marked for my assassins hand— Polite, I lost you All of us, Atop the rock We stood and suffered Months beyond a montage, Undercover Love was lost, And all's uncertain The interception of God, At the cost of What terror and cutbacks Have caused us all What you lost was $50, a Hallmark Card, an Academy award, a long lost star's phone number, And all that you wanted, The cock of the gun Was the sound that you wondered What was called , then ran off into wonder. How am I gonna make money And become an award winning songwriter Music producer And multidisciplinary artist, Without all the funding it takes to get noviced Without taking clothes off Wake up 10 years younger I'm suffering My stomach was a rubber band My stomach was a rubber band My only song was Water I forgot to stop For the applause I drowned in all the love; right then and there I died of Lovenessness [The Festival Project] The sound and laughter of children play A baby in a basket The basket case at Trader Joe's Who know what happens It just doesn't pull my heartstrings any longer That my son belongs without his mother So I'd better have another This is us, come on. Don't do this to me. Don't do this, Timmy, you'll be sorry. Come on! We're not even in that movie! We are, though; it's still Listen, you've got the right guy for this. Are you sure. Yeah, I promise. Officers, Stop for a *movement [hot cops flash dance number] Fuck, well, that was all wrong. But worth it! What I meant was— God, this show gets good at 31, But I'm only 22, So I guess I'll know how wrong the war was Once we've lost it, Cause imm a man now The episode is over, Soon comes the next episode With snoop dogg, Or not That was our wedding album. Scatterbrained, and pregnant— There she was just putting all the things together That she needed to be Needed To be needed. There she was, All on 4/20 Trying not to do the wrong thing, But what was it? To be loved. Then, There she was at 21 just going off again At some event— A friend, and her Back then could not imagine They'd become him To be someone. Not as one, But of entirely another World apart, aside from Cyclones into snow cones Turns the watchers into artists All their own, And off my own accord Or own account Or done with boredom Dove soap Open doors And clocks that turn the other hand away, Each day you love Manhattan But can't have that. That's it— This is just Season 1 of Mad Men WHERE THE FUCK IS— [she throws her hands above her head in surrender] I don't KNOW! Oh, you're a girl now?! I guess! What's with those pants, then? To hide the assets! What assets?! You look tragic. I'm going for ‘skeleton' to match all your wives and everybody else on the red carpet Who said you get the red carpet? Manhattan. That guy lies! Well how about this: The walk of stars were carved out in blocks of marble All in my honor. 1000/1 You're our God, now. What! I don't want to be God! SUCK IT UP. YOU WON. I don't wanna! Yaaaaaaayyy. You got the award! All the awards! Speech! Speech! SUNNI BLŪ Uh—- I'm drunk, And there's nothing on the teleprompter [a man in the audience coughs] A-HEM. [Sunni Blū immidiateky shoots the coughing man] [multi-camera shots of celebrity audience reactions; laughing, clapping in hilarity as if someone hasn't just died] TAYLOR SWIFT (unmoved at all) SUNNÏ BLŪ I don't know why you're laughing. That was awful. That guy died [audience is insane, super fake as usual] [more cut takes] SUNNÏ BLŪ It should have been you, Taylor. TAYLOR SWIFT (Still unaffected) SUNNI BLU Anyway. I'd like to thank the academy… Cause I am the academy [Audience is celebrities being celebrities] SUNNI BLU You guys are all idiots: I'm a go f*ck myself— And anyone else who wants to show up At my afterparty. Whatever. Peace. [cheesy academy award music plays—Sunnï knocks over the mic, peaces out obnoxiously; the audience cheers wildly and the host returns to the stage.] Who's the host? Whatever. Hey, better than nothin. You're telling me. yeah. I know: Oh, she's a comic? Yeah. I got it. BOB SAGET Ooh, that's good. Ū No—no my God. No Bob Saget, stop it! Wait, Bob Saget is dead right? Last I recall: Fuck—FUCK! Dammit. Dammit, dammit. Okay, Rue— you're up. Rue, what in the— Shhhh, don't let them know I'm in here! Oh, wait— It's me, Blanche. That's hot. I'm a debutant. My god, you're so young. Here, take this, What's that, You'll need that. V.O. I'm being hunted by the ghost of Bob Saget. *haunted. No, hunted! There she is! Grab her! Ooh, Bob Saget. Why, yes. How old are you? Not dead yet! You don't have to kidnap me, I'll happily go with you, sir. Really? Yes. GET IN THE— NOH, GET IN THE VAN. INT. IN THE VAN. [a bunch of hot male celebrities are in the van] Oh. Okay. Wow. That was easy. What is it, Friday. It's Friday and a half. Friday.5 What. There's a Friday movie between 1 and 2 So I guess this is season 8.5 I guess this is season 8.5 HEY, GET BACK HERE. What is this. It's your lunch. I don't want this. Well, okay. What— is this strange music— They call it dubstep Come on, Jimmy, you're slipping Kimmel, cause Fallon is dead or presumed missing Probably Skrillex Probably a bounty on his head, Dog willing The Festival Priojects Inclement Infinite Is coming up next, on Legends Come on Jim, KEEP UP. Nobody can know about this, okay? Wait, where's Kimmel Okay, I got O'Brien— Black Irish Bastard… Alright, Alec Baldwin is a little tied up, right now, but LEMON, Fuck. That's l—future me. What?! I gotta go, okay?! What? Go where. Let's get DRUNK. No, That's—I got a show tonight What?! Look at my lexicon. Your—what, Meet me on Lexington. Oh, this pussy is finished! I got it, I got it! He's LENNONNNNN!! JOHN LENNON Fuck. Look, I gotta go. John Lennon?! You're dead! Funny, I thought not. Watch this. MOOOOOOOOOOOM. Fuck, What, It's my kid. I gotta go. Wait, you have kids?! Well, I just had you, didn't I? “The mayor” is a secret underground rap star lol #trappin Okay, What's else happened Idk hold on Okay, So whats the sauce on this sandwich. Oh. Jeez, this again. That *sandwhich? Hah. There's no sauce on that sandwhich. —there's not!? No: You see. It's very simple. WAKE UP, YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR. we gotta take the train. The train?! NO. NOTTHETRAIN. NO. Man, fuck the train! [SUNNI BLŪ wakes up on the train.] What's this, the train? [is the train] (Angrily, tossing newspaper) Man, FUCK the train! Other hobo: Aww, thanks, I need that for my— [s/he snatches back the paper]. Wait! I need that back—what day is it? [drunkenly illegible gibberish turns into perfect Hebrew] GODDAMMIT, it's Shabbat; I gotta get to Temple. [s/he shoves the newspaper back into the hobo's lap] Here. Oh no, I thought I couldn't forget RABI FUCK _]€_# WHAT WAS IT GODDAMIT IT WAS SO CLEVER. God So it was… What did you do with it? Do with what My idea what idea My—my rabbi joke— What rabbi joke you know what rabbi joke! You were the one who gave it to me. Oh, did I? YES, SATAN, JESUS. GOD Ohh, Satan-Jesus. I like that one. NO— it was— It was much better than that, it was— It was funny. Oh, it was? YES. —did you write it down? Fuck, I realize I just opened a A FUCK PORTAL. OHH, GET IN IT, GET INSIDE. I had an Artemis in my pocket But I lost him Walked away from the cornermarker And the cornerstone, for the sunset I wonder if songs always come When I'm walking, Or God makes us promises, For world of I'm not JB, I'm KG, Can you see me now? If you could see what I see, We'd be even wtf did I just write this And not realize I just wrote this Yeah. That shit happens to me all the time. WHAT. ALL THE TKMEx Shut up, THE ANDRE3K CHARADES GAME is getting intense. What in the FUCK is that. *flutes* Ohh. And KITES. yyyyyYYYYYYYAAAAAHHH—— GODDAMMIT. I can't see really, I just dream I'm not thinking, I'm dancing This is what you asked for Exactly what you asked for For once, I'm finally glad I have your eyes on My friend I can see you all on the horizon, Singing NO, NO MORE MUSICALS!! Jimmy, what did you do?! I don't know what I did! You lyin bastard. I'm not lying! So, where ya from? —I don't know where I'm from. Listen, I'm gonna need you SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP. It seems like these scenes are getting shorter. I'm bored with this. Ok. Let's do something else. I fuckin hate you. I hate you. I fuckin hate you. 88. Oh no: 8 Wait, what the— *dolphin* WOAH, okay: Oh, no. No, No, no OHNONO. I told you I'd find him. Anyway. Seems like there's something more important I should be doing. Are you sure this is the right place. Right place. Right time. Fuck— FUCK. What, what happened. I lost my— SKRILLEX! No. SKRILLEX. NO, NO— SKR— I swear to God, Google knows everything. Google don't know shit about SHIT. I gotta lose m 39 lbs. For what. MADONNA DO IT FOR THE BANANAS. I hate— you. COME ON, MISTER. Fuck off, Madonna, I'M A GOD. I miss Beyoncé. That's not relevant. Beyoncé is relevant to everything. *smacks* QUIT FANGIRLING. Trust me, I hate you. I don't trust you, but I believe you. I got it. I hate this place. Holy shit. What. I developed a new phobia. What's that mean?! I don't know, I can probably use it in a fight or something. For what. SPECIAL ABILITY UNLOCKED. I see you looking over my shoulder I see the shadows, I try not to jump at em. I spent six months in a coffin, you know I spent my life a sarcophagus (Wow, I got it right.) Try not to mutter those haunts in a hospital Try to recover from trauma Uncovered post traumatics, Anxiety attacks and a lot of those— What do you call them? A flashback. Here goes one: SONNY MOORE aka SKRILLEX appears. I told you not to— But I did! I didn't mean to! But you did! This is ludachris! Oh look, it's— Fuck. God dammit. Come on! What's his name!? What's his name?! I'll think abo it it. Are you serious? Another shapeshifter? Yes, I guess welll just have to kill them all, then. I just want to go home. You don't have one. …oh. So here we have. Okay, wait a second. I wasn't faking my symptoms at all, actually. My heart had dropped, and been pounding and fluttering insessantly— It had been a hard week, but especially the last three days; The coughing—. Everyone seemed to be wearing clothing with stars or bears on it, Champion sportswear. I fucking hate champion sportswear. But the palpitations were real as ever— and now— On a Saturday night in the Jamaica, Queens medical center emergency room, There they were again. Only this time I knew exactly why. ‘Too Bizzare' by Skrillex begins to play, via Complications 003- The Trauma Method. Irony. It was ironic, but still startling, Started with some nostalgic traumas, Every other time I saw an ER doctor (Why I don't go) Fuck, I just realized I have to airdrop myself 880 times. That fucking sucks. Did you say you were a doctor? I was, once. When is “once” At some point. Listen, I'm gonna need you to backtrack to get to the bottom of this. I'm innocent, I promise! We caught you at 27 different angles doing this. Oh. [beat] I plead the 5th. Ohh. Cerulean. My favorite. c R A Y On Oh, I get it, I L L U M I N A T U S. Nice, it worked. I know everything about you. So you do. [beat] You're a God. What the fuck do you want from me. Listen. I. Am not. A God, Right. That's exactly what a God would say. No they wouldn't! Because a God wouldn't say anything! AHA. Don't ‘AHA' ME. I don't mind, at all It don't matter— to me I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me Might as well not think about it The space between us Might as well just stay awake then No sense in leaving Just to come back It don't matter to me, now Now and again I go crazy just making arrangements, But besides that, If you like it, you should have it It's a long road, As Kaskade says, And a short dance, With the right one And time goes by I would call it mild, But actually I'm in a wild panic It might be a heart attack I just might even Die right here But I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me I don't mind—at all It don't matter to me, I said I don't mind, at all, now It really don't matter to me I said, I don't mind, at all It really don't matter to anyone Now does it (Not it doesn') I don't mind, at all It don't matter— to me I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me Might as well not think about it The space between us Might as well just stay awake then No sense in leaving Just to come back Palpitations and precipitations at the pulpit Preacher, please don't make me a culprit I been prayin— I been paying my tithes, 10% Even, Now 25, Almost half of me is not mine! Why try? I've been walking out, in straight lines I been crying silently It ain't right I been making most of my nights Sometimes I see sun come up twice Up, down up 10 degrees, It ain't right Up down up 33, it ain't right Up, down, up I've been spending my time Down, up, down Riding round, Trying not to down in my mind Up, down up What is this. It's my project. What is it? The Festival Project. Yeah but—what— What. Is it? …it's my project. *painfully infuriated* Okay, enter here. EXAM ROOM 10 Why exam room 10? Because. Where are the other nine? Just—get in. I'm not going in there! JUST GET IN. UGH. DEADMAU5 (head and all) stands at a tall podium in the center of the room) What is this, This is deadmau5. I know that. —-!!! —?!? What. !!! What? This is the exam? Yes! NO. What is “no”. I'm not playing for deadmau5. That's the exam. Then I fail! Automatic Fail? yes. Automatic fail. Then you win. What. *slams gavel* Congratulations—you're the next superstar DJ. WhY. . What. Woohoo! I just retired! DEADMAU5 exits. … … After a few moments of comic tension, the Deadmau5 head rolls back in through the exit which he has taken. Ugh. Fuck this. No matter what you do, you're a superstar DJ. What. No! Yes. The answer is yes. NO. Fuck. What the FUCK. No matter what you do. You want to go, Go, you want to die, Die, you want to try, try You want to cry, cry Do what you want; As so will I, Demand is demand— Supply is supply. EDX So then, I followed this long hallway under the stage deck. Uh huh. And it led to a door— Uhhuh, where'd the door lead? To a portal. Woah. Pasqualle! You made it! I—yes. Congratulations! *blows party horn* *Daisies/ confetti* You're like 25! I'll be 25 forever. Nice! Yeah. I guess that's why it's called ‘music'—a musician without muses is just useless. ‘Well, whose next?' I wondered. All of my muses were not just so wonderful to me, but adored by many—and perhaps this is what allured me most—befuddled ans confounded me; once my mind was set on something, there was nothing else its eye could see—and for how long one God could only know, how deep the love would go and that the blood would run deep, and the scars to show for it, only upon my heart and never by soul—for a love was a love, and even once came and gone, to the end of my life I knew I would still ponder upon them, at one time or another, my muses—star studded lovers, rather than crossed, shiny and golden like all diamond and trophies so treasured and thought of as precious. ‘Yes, you are—precious.' Another tongue in cheek thought, for the other that I was, and also was not, as summer drew onward as short as it would come and go—a reminder to leave the apartment more often, and to mind my manners, to find the upper echelon wherever it was and come quietly into its doors, to open my world and wordform of thought, into a place where my heart always was; then, and only then, would I be home. Amongst the men and women of the uppercut and classy, luxurious big fishing ponds and flocks of doves upon olive branches—the peaceful world long parted from where mine was, by only the fault of my own. What had been done just certainly was, and yet, what was to come was an open poem, not of mine, but Godform in thought. ‘I wonder what's at the top of Rockefeller Plaza.' —perhaps, a gander at the bottom of an even larger entertainment complex. Then, again, only God would know what was beyond all that I wanted; a job—and not just any job at all— the one that I had always wanted. Mmm. Birthday cake. Suddenly the taste of a white confetti crème filled my mouth with a delicious remnince of what it might be like to taste a confectionary sugar again—but i couldn't imagine ever making it just on talent and charisma alone—no. Indeed, it seemed something had damaged my charm, and perhaps it was just the swarms and droves of phone controlled masses that saw me as nothing more than dust, I had started to surrender my desire to perform, and the quality of my music—along with my ability to make it, suffered with the awful thing that had been crowding my soul at all—whatever it was, evil and dark in nature, sure saw to it that it wanted to hurt me in all the ways that it could—and in all the ways it could not, I stayed away from most others, favoring my delusions of love. ‘Nobody seems to understand that the pain they cause will only harm themselves.', I thought Younger souls, however, they were—and they would be kept in the pain that I was in one way or another until eventual death, far behind me on the infinite road to the source. Far enough behind, that it seeked to destroy my progress, and for all that it could, it also couldn't. The infliction of pain would simply not act as a measure for control any longer. Off into my own world, where I was at least free from the thoughts and judgement of others. She's the most beautiful girl, And I'm the most beautiful boy; So naturally, we belong together, don't we? I see a pretty picture, Picket fences and a family Golden Retrievers Someone relieve her; She doesn't believe me TV dreams and exquisite pretty people Burning candles, fire flames and frequent figures, Guest characters and cameos, Repeat offenders, multiple appearances Suddenly, really, it's another need People, people pleasers Audience affection, Tragic endings, Butterflies and new beginnings Gun under my tongue, Rubber like a frog My mind is in a fog Haven't bothered going on a walk To Trader Joe's but The anthem of my youth, A lost soul Another form of my love So what I wonder Put the gun up under my chin Rubber like a frog Blow my head off Just cause I didn't blow up Selfish cunt Big brother, Another hypnotist Little brother, Gotta love him Gotta love em For the Love of God I could stop for a moment Wash my mind out with soap Like I'm ten years younger, even Seriously 20 years between us, You can't even hide underwater In a bathtub Seriously, Someone help us For the love of God, for the love of Hollywood Seriously, Someone love us, For the love of God, For the love of Rockefeller Plaza Someone help us Another possible walk of stars A little shop of horrors Another whole story I get rid of my demons The hoes screamin I put semen in her Permanent like semen, Just keep dreamin I'mma just keep preaching SaMo, Brooklyn Europe Next I keep scheming Whoever you are; If you're a wreck— You need a check No respect, neglect Just cover your neck (I'm blind to my own design, sometimes) That's what the eye is Try this: Close your eyes and say thrice, kids I am the God of the eye, Osiris I am the God of the Eye, I'm Osiris I am the God, I walk amongst the highest Thoth, You lost Better just die and keep trying I am the God of the eye, I am (Try this) I am the God of the eye (I never die) I am the God of the eye (That's right, three times) I am the God of the eye No black and white television, In my dimension we pay attention to centrifugal, The mission isn't in materialism, Whatever youre spending If money the God, l of your eye, Realize, I am higher My gunfire, Is right on the back of The one dollar I am the God of the eye I Am Your money is nothin to us We come in peace, To end suffering Pretty little nigga Look just like Kendrick Kickin it with jigga I'm the new higs boson Part of me never left Boston (Fuck Starr!) Part of me never left homeless This ain't my home It's my office You never heard this song You don't notice I'm an ugly kid, you don't notice me Rooftop smells like soy sauce On god I am ugly You don't notice -Atari the God Can we get back to this, please? Damn. She really whooped her ass, though. Janet, can I borrow you for a second? No. Please. [Whoopi Goldberg appears in the doorway, gesturing “c'mon”] …alright. I got convictions on my lips, I took a picture Turn the page The worst of all was, it really did seem like they were racists— INSOMNIAC EVENTS Not just racists— the most deadly kind of racists. WHITE SUPREMACISTS You really want it this way, don't you? No! I LOVE you! Oh, do you? If there's a mile in here, I swear to god.. Are you high enough yet? I thought so HIGHER! hire star* What. Just do it. You remember these guys, right? GOOD CANNABIS, FAIRBANKS, ALASKA No. Why are we back here. Alright, we might have fucked up. Why. This guy sucks. HEY. What. COME BACK TO ALASKA never that. WHAT, WHY NOT! GOD HATES FAGS!!! Well, you're wrong! WHITE POWER. Nah. ALL LIVES MATTER O rly? Even this guy? Literally every “NO” …so, “all lives.” Look, I don't care what color it is; I want that book in my library. GO TO THE LIVRARY. NO. GET IN HERE. NO AUBREY. STAY DEAD. She's dead, right? YOU CALLED ME HERE. I didn't! You Did. I did not, all i said was *swoons* …I love her. (I really do) WHAT?! “I Love you?!” It was more the *swoon* that did it. Disconnect. Fuck, I lost deadmau5 again What'd you do to him? Nothing! Put him back! He's still there! He's right there, you see him? No! This isn't deadmau5. We want deadmau5. bring him BACK. Fuck, I fucked up. What'd you do? …nothing? Pick up the phone Pick up the phone …hello? Who IS this? Fuck it, I quit. Man, God never puts my dishes back in the right place, like ever. I told you, I don't live here, I'm just… Babysitting. CC! What! CC! What? CC WHAT. Fuck, man. That was wild. Where the fuck have you been? I don't know. You don't know—you smell funny. “Funny” is that what that smell is? No. When were you? When? Ha. Did you—- Did I what? —did you go to a party without me? Lmfao fuck these niggaz. Why, what happened. What's this. Where was it?! Idlewild. “IdLeWiLd”?!?!? You. Old. One here and die, you know, l. It's cattle call for curtain calls guy Where did this go— What was this, once? It's the return Welcome to Oz This is the Tower of Babel Remember; I wrote that Better than the bottom, Still not the top —it's not as fast, when it's not going all the way up Did you jump yet Come around more Keep coughing Are you sure this is where it was or—? Somewhere else I stayed Back when I was homeless It's hopeless! We lost her Antenna, antenna SUPERMARKET I loved her —she was undercover —I'm still in your stirrups I'm lost in New York, then BACKFIRE Adele remix is on [have a seat] Can I go now? I still need a hat, a half dollar and an alter cloth You could win an award for this; I don't want an award, I just want my son back Motherhood, motherhood Brotherhood, brotherhood This isn't one of us! No one was No one was Can I go now? Where to? Home! Nope, that's just the office, I'm still homeless, unless I They got cabanas on top of offices! (The rich and the famous) Networking and brunches— _this looks fun, doesn't it? I altered the course of history In brief exchanges and Various social atrocities This is hypocrisy! lol rly This is hypocrisy!! Hyper awareness and, psychic inclinations… You realize the more low quality people you let in The more low quality this country becomes, don't you? I put a roll in the back of the chosen ones. Used to be cast more, Now something seldom ever happens Such as this— A fun Fortune 500 What does that even mean Forbes. Look it up. What if the policy is Foreign; Look it up. I know enough about the girl next door to know Something is horrible, Something inside of her Rots at the core, Her obsession; My undeservedness of such, What she must, I mustn't, just Unjustice Broski, okay I got to discard All the pichardo Besides just this one (I'm standing on top of you) Put somebody worthy on the fourth floor Worse off, I was done for Before I got to New York What's her for?! I know enough about the man upstairs to know All these glares and “How dare you's” and Hatred says Why would you wait 30 years Until today, I guess Something is certainly off about her. I said yes. It was more probably something like “SUCK MY DICK” What. “YOU HEARD ME” Oh yes, I did. From 1990 to 1993 From 1990 To 1993 From 1990 To 1993 Stop breeding these things, “Love is familiarity” No Love is what you make it But you can't Because of slavery They don't make music —they don't make love either Well, look where your lust took you! Nowhere! Exactly! Look where your love took you: Vegas, Los Angeles, South of the Border Above it a New Yorker— Under budget, Celibate and My arms are too short to jump the turnstyle, Meanwhile My ex husband left permanent scars on My face My lips My arms My hands And my heart. Did you bite him? Of course I bit him, he was strangling me. You definitely won this fight. I know. Look, if I don't call for security, This bitch is gonna make me kill her. OCTOPUSSY NO. What. NO. Stankass. I will KILL this bitch. Look, I gotta get ahead in this. I need a WIN. These are customs. Trash. Wash your pussy. Send her back. Nah, you know what. Remove that hex. Wait, what, really?! Yeah, like; Reverse it. Woah. That's crazy. They got like….white slaves now. That's not right. What do you mean. That's not it. You said “reverse it” This is what the white supremacy just did to everyone else: [world in crisis except for for people who look like Kayla Lauren, to whom EVERYTHING is a fucking crisis, that isn't] BECKY/KAREN/WICKED WITCH OF WHITE AMERICA I AM OFFENDED I'm offended that you signed your like 12 year old daughter up to pose nearly nude, but— Hey look, it's us now; is this freedom?! Uh…. Why are all the female models like 12 and all the male models are fully grown men— Or women. Right. Idk. Wait, I do. You do?! Wait. Something tells me all the pedophiles and all the white supremacists are in the same group… Run the same businesses— Have the same families. This is disgusting Okay, this is gross That's not right ! That's not my job! Oh, it's not!!? NO. Who should I call That guy. So you want this? Oh, it's a death curse?! It will NEVER end. Wanna bet. I'll kill you and take the whole world with me. Now that's a threat. Thing is, I'm actually making it. I'm telling on you! Ok. Wait 30 years though so you look and sound REALLY fucking stupid. Ok. 30 YEARS. Doesn't make sense. What's the statute of limitations for— Hm. Depends. Depends on what. Who are you?! WHO ARE YOU?! NOBODY YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. THEN WHY DO I? wtf is this? This is Texas being petty. Ok, fuck ya‘lol YAW. I'm serious, wtf is wrong with you. Something. What. Fix me. Fix you. Hm. Ok. *COUGHING* Somethings wrong here. Yep, it's definitely some kind of FIX IT. Where's this ROCK? At the ROCK. Like, where tho?! Ur gonna need this. What. They r crucifying u. Noted. Hunts Point Food Distribution Center Lmfao I need this word hold on “eliminating redundancies, setting strict timelines, and allowing cases to proceed contemporaneously” [ Finally, recognizing the danger that social media poses to young people and mental health, New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene Commissioner Dr. Ashwin Vasan today issued a Health Commissioner's Advisory identifying unfettered access to and use of social media as a public health hazard, just as past U.S. surgeons general have done with tobacco and firearms.] A win. I don't play dead. What do you call this: DIE! DIE, BITCH! Corrections. I still don't understand how this— ACID HAPPENS. Out of sight Out of mind So why these guys Tryna waste my time Tryna fuck with my mind with All these lights OH MY GOD I ain't got time for that Well, Maybe I do— I just Don't like NIGGAZ LIKE YOU. (Say what) I don't like Niggaz like U! I'm Sunnï Blū! You're stupid Oh, so he put a curse on sunni blu, too? Ok. Cool. When all my aliases come up This dumb motherfucking drunk Is gonna get stuck In his own woods He'll bury himself In the words that he left With the scars In the words that he left With the scars Sunni blu Is the sayer of stars I slaughtered them all Swallowed them whole Like a big black hole I'm a big black god I'm a big black God Fuck Twinkle that broad One punch girl One punch girl 5 punch faggot I'll unwrap flags on your Goddamn Fuck that Put a curse on my alter ego Lucky he's a he, tho I blow holes in em I blow smoke And love sausage I'm a hedon And he not a Hero He broke He lost I'm open Shirts vs skins I got 666 Curses to show you What your words did IM RA I'm a big black God You're at home with the young apostle Let's be honest He never even liked his father So turned him to a mother, Told his mother to ‘run far, And bring back The life that I want' I'm a big black God In light skinned clothing You don't know to explode Or explode on me Cause my mommy's a Dark skinned icon That my God Find something to pass the time, God Sunni with I, huh I won Fuck a pedophile wifebeater Bury him in the woods with his fury Fear me, now I'm coming up with reverse curses And cures Cause my words Bought the whole world Buried you in the woods I'll bury you in the woods, Bitch Very good I'm a big black God -Blū. GOD is the GOAT I just became god I do what I want I get what I want when I want it I don't want no problems Me myself and God only I buy everything I used to steal These tears in my heart say I'm healing What's the difference, anyway? I've never been fit for your interests, or industry Add insult to injury Add everything to my Amazon cart, then My sympathies Nothing is greater in heaven As it is in hell, for this industry Turned on its head And turned over from 7 to ten Check your messages, then Shut up kid, this doesn't involve you You're not included in the package Michael c hall and John c Riley reprise Mr. Cellophane in the style of DEXTER MORGAN. HA. Classic. GOT EM. V.O. I met her at The Jumping Point {Coming Up…} INT. THE JUMPING POINT POP-UP NIGHTCLUB LOUNGE & BAR. NIGHT “A Long Day's Night” / “A Hard Day's Night” C {CONFUSION SPELL, SUCCESSFUL} [Sequence Initiated.] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. {

god tv love jesus christ music american new york amazon fear texas money health trust power google ai peace man rock los angeles las vegas dogs anxiety fall dj home writing simple er mit guns holy satan south funny night class forbes fortune taylor swift academy espn grammy started champion temple cold broadway sun run mcdonald dark beyonce quit fight networking motherhood manhattan straight speech queens dinner worse shit burning worthy audience cheese trash gotta bar lol drunk wicked heads galaxy fuck new yorker tower jamaica riding congratulations wtf remove writers classic blow reverse solid wondering butterflies supply bitch infinite images yellow wash scratch shut foreign younger peacock selfish bought closet manipulation copyright realize keller john lennon fix repeat nah tight shut up permanent semi lemon buried alec baldwin tequila tragic hyper bill murray brotherhood infants hanukkah remind hatred urgent ham waking aha i love lexington cc mm mister ashamed whoopi goldberg shirts artemis curses atari officers corrupt jimmy fallon corrections uncommon bury disconnect jb int automatic speaking in tongues advisory ambulance nevermind ur complications trader joe marked walked t rex rubber keep up irony cents hm wham bob saget rooftop kg mischief idk shabbat stumble kite reminding kosher wilhelm chevy chase skrillex rue polite babysitting mmm social studies wrecked hum closest damages kimmel no love superb dammit hem samo deadmau5 fix it goddamn shy who are you hard days fairbanks caddyshack rodney dangerfield printed harold ramis oof ata swallowed sunni cyclones atop geez lmfao skr shhhh antenna jeez defended thoth long day ohh hah daisies tryna aww slattery new york city department celibate happy accidents oh shit fuckers dangerfield god can suck it up rots picket white power jesse pinkman aight ramis sunn whatchu noh god for uuml god get idlewild cerulean swore health commissioner god find karmas satan jesus dexter morgan yaw grossing hallmark cards cellophane stay dead nevel ted knight cindy morgan palpitations god so say uncle rockefeller plaza liz lemon goddamnit google documents brian doyle murray scatterbrained get gone neatly ahaha mother of pearl get in the van iambic just let go ashwin vasan sonny moore god hates fags slatts

{Caddyshack} - (Happy Accidents)

Wedding Business Solutions

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2024 65:01

“Caddyshack” (A Mumtidimentional Mixtape) {Enter The Multiverse} From Wikipedia: Caddyshack is a 1980 American sportscomedy film directed by Harold Ramis, written by Brian Doyle-Murray, Ramis and Douglas Kenney, and starring Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Ted Knight, Michael O'Keefe and Bill Murray with supporting roles by Sarah Holcomb, Cindy Morgan, and Doyle-Murray. It tells the story of a caddie, vying for a caddie scholarship, who becomes involved in a feud on the links between one of the country club's founders and a nouveau riche guest. A subplot involves a greenskeeper who uses extreme methods against an elusive gopher. Caddyshack was Ramis's directorial debut and boosted the career of Dangerfield, who was previously known mostly for his stand-up comedy. Grossing nearly $40 million at the domestic box office (the 17th-highest of the year),[3] it was the first of a series of similar comedies. The film has a cult following and was described by ESPN as "perhaps the funniest sports movie ever made" SAUCE (IN CASE YOU MISSED IT) —- AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN. OH SHIT! Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy. Oh nooo. Oh, yes. Look at this penny. I see you. Now look into my eyes. I see you, Jesus. Ahahaha! Okay, now what? This shit is twisted I missed the shift of the dimensions— Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies For some cigarettes and swishers, Just to get the picture It's 5 AM again, And it's still Infinite, I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA, Or just living, period— But it is what it is, I work for my rent, I've repented for this, Used to sleep in a tent, But when I was an Infant, I instantly— Wait, a customer walked in. I better help him. Heaven help him. Another level, Call dr. Nevel, Or an Ambulance, I just can't get it Just can't get it, Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess. Took you long enough, didn't it? That took forever. How are you alive? Maybe I'm not. Finally, we agree on something. Oh, this guy Lol. Good to see you again. Likewise, now— Here it goes… As you promised. Working on it. As I promised. Take my heart for granted, Take my soul, If this is loveless Till the end, I just can't manage, having Thoughts of death and tragic ends I haven't Felt the same since Waking up without the day to come ahead; The day has passed again A test, No fail, or pass It's just progressive, In a trance, It's just the stress, It's just to pass the time, I guess, if this is purpose Then, we'll see if this is worth it Now, or never, then Now or never, Never had a friend, All envious at best, This is the end all, In the end, it's just Me and God, And God would want A better body, To have fun I wished it all at once, And then I watched it crumble Oh, I watched it Stumble in, again, my friend I'm different when it's wet, I might not never see the Sun again I might not ever love again Oh well “Oh well” , I said Oh, well, I guess Oh well Okay. One hour left. Okay. Who gets the gold? Hum. Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7. Play Iambic. What, right now? Yeah, play Iambic. Uh… Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with anything else I had written and had yet the advantage of placing anywhere besides my podcast channels, which I constantly thought about cancelling, despite its innumerous downloads—nothing really seemed to matter anymore, as I was trapped in my body, in a loveless world, in a dead-end job and though my bed was clean and comfy, sharing the room wirh 3 others became exhausting. INT. SMOKESHOP. 5:58 AM DREW BARRYMORE … SUPACREE … I'm done. I quit. QUIT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT. Nope. That's it. I quit. You can't quit. I just did. I hadn't quit the music industry—the music industry had quit me. I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, light skinned enough, or willing to do what any of the other girls were to get ahead. WTF is THIS. Since you like to troll so much, I just thought I'd turn you into one This is not Kosher, 199x Jimmy Fallon; Let me out of this plastic —not exactly “fireproof” — death box, before I let myself out, and I trap you in it. But oh, You already did. FIGHT. UGH OH. Ok, rotate. Who is this. Oh shit, hey dude. FUCK, what year is it? MEANWHILE, Under the bridge. …anybody seen this, uh… *Troll* Yee! *Troll* Alright. That's it. Everything checks out. The story was air tight. TIGHT, TIGHT I want you to wear this tonight “The Lady In The Red Dress” You really went all out for this I really didn't. lol Oh I see, You thought this was the matrix. MIT I WISH GOD Wish what. MIT … Mm. Did u see that. See what. ALRIGHT FUCK THIS, YA'LL IT GOT SERIOUS, WHERE'S MY CYCLOPS He called me his cyclops— —-and then he said LIKE GET OUT WHAT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE WHY CAUSE YOURE JUST A PIÑATA, MAN! And I ain't got time for that! I just got a DeLorean And a new HAT I gotta go get Oof. WRECKED. Yo, Wicked. KENDRICK (TODDLER) WIZARD. Oh my. I'm J00F'd up. | | | trance | | | Look; I gotta get out of this MOTHER OF PEARL do not beach this whale carcas on my warehouse project A what A beached whale I know You brought a beached whale to my fucking rave show Oh I get it It's Avant- Guarde No, that's just how I got here …. Trust me, it's okay that This never happened You did not see me It's because I wasn't there Is this U Ū No I wasn't there. Ü I was. Fuck. What happened. It's ok. All I remember is “The Quatardashians” Hmm Also The indigenous But that's it But mostly that was all just Jesus showing off his flexes Are u fasting? Yes, “Ū” is. So, do you need this?! TRUMPP Get rid of this recording imiidiately GOT IT. kill that bitch. SKRILLEX Yessir. —-but before all that happens. …did you want fries with that?! Why are we boycotting McDonald's —for poisoning —the allies —our enemies. Wait, you're eating this? Yes. Like, for fun, or like? No. This is what I'm feeding my children Why Cause they hungry. Uh, ok— —and there's six of them. Aight, ya'll can each have one nugget with your— I wanted a cheese burger! You git hamburgers. Ham. Cheese costs CENTS; And you know your momma If I ain't about a dollar - A dollop of Daisy You really are Ashamed of his Alright, you evil bastards. I see you want to Cause suffering Correct For which you will eternally recurve damnnation and all of the pain you've caused Karmas a bitch It's lonely at the top Not when you're GOD Get off my rock Did you miss an appointment? Nah, can't do it Why what happened Too high up. Whatchu mean So what, it's just like Done. Well, this is it, huh guys. Oh, yeah, it's that, alright This is the longest ride we ever took.d This is the ONLY ride we ever took. I WANNA GET OFF THIS RIDE. I AM REALLY HIGH UP. JUST LET GO. NO. NO. NO. Put me down, kite!!! KITE wtf do you want me to do. I'm a KITE. I'm YOU FUCKIN KIKE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—- Well, I'll be honest, man, this sets you back, some How far back GET GONE, But? We're dinosaurs. Why would something with razor sharp teeth be so— —peaceful, and friendly?? T-REX …cuddles. I just can't fake the feeling( I can't pretend to cry It just comes, when it does But when the well runs dry That's when the the world will end That's when the world will end After this movie, I guarantee we will no longer need the Wilhelm scream AGGGGGHHHHHHH!!! YAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIGGGHHHHHHH UUUUUUUUUUUUU This movie broke the world record for the amount of times the word “No” was screamed NO NOH. NO. ‘No! NOOOOOOOOOOO! NONONO. NOOOOOOOAAAAAHH …No! Here they all come for her, Defended upon New York In order of important, or appearance? One doesn't wonder, At al, of what's to come Uncommon, we are The call has come TRACY My tummy hurts. That's probably because you've been drinking straight tequila for the last hour and a half. No I haven't! This is water! Tequila is YELLOW, Liz Lemon! No, Tracy—that's silver tequila, And regular tequila is, You know what? Nevermind. Alright, who's got the night shift? [nobody raises their hand, at all] Seriously guys?! Come on! COME ON! Look up WHAM! For some reason, idk. Can we just— not do this? No. Out of my mind a bit Speaking in tongues, In total silence Guess it's the times, I guess that's just who I am And who I am is I said I was Sam I'm the same, I said, “Say Uncle” I guess it's a game, we're playing I don't want to be played with At all I just want to feel loved again By someone else Superb, like him I just want to be felt, I guess By someone else That's “Different” I just want to be kissed on the lips A splendid blend of Twisted trysts Let's not pretend It hasn't ended yet Until you've finished it Class dismissed again Let me off of it I just want it to stop Keep rolling Keep rolling your eyes in the back of your head Like you did just morning Just go for a walk Just stop for a moment Run a bath And just keep running Cause here something comes, Of course, It's all your callings Neatly rolling into one, They said But I Just want to be loved again And who doesn't That's the fucked up part I just want to be loved again But nobody ever Just comes up I just want to be loved again It's a walk in the park Don't follow the dog Even if he barks at you It's time to start again I wonder what comes after this part You are the gleaning in the shadows, The reckoning in my eye, The siren in my silence; The green in all the lights, I am a shamed to have just been One of your many One of your many Images, You still have me twisted, I miss you, It's just you, at the end, Again I left you where you left me Solid on solid Sounds are invalid now How are you so Swore by your awesome No more songs, I said No more songs, he's dead to me No more songs! She's inlisted He's uninterested, Isn't this interesting The problem is: I'm still in love with Everyone i've ever been in love with (And I love him) But he doesn't remember my Name And he's famous And she's crazy And he hates her But he made me hate him The day I became you The day I became So famous, I finally made it I'm dead It smells like dill in here At least it doesn't smell like dead mouse. Aha. Youre Hellen. Keller or Mirin How would you be Hellen Miren Cause I'm the Queen. posh. You want to die Well, you better do it quick Better get your shit toggether, paint a l Bigger, better picture Bitter Betty gliching steady Just remember when you're ready Ever steady still forgetting dinner Dessert was already Forget this significance Remind me why I'm on this speeding bullet to nowhere Had no other options but to go under for something Shy, sickness it's a secret Just kill me already Semi robotic, Something like a magnet, attracted, Simply symphonies And soulless bodies, tied to money Wonder what was in the vaccum cleaner meaning What did you suck up, dude Who do you suck up to. When nobody loves you But your own son And the audience is robots Nothing really works more than once, if it's really magic Sit and do nothing would you Like you're supposed to Fall over like the mannequin you are Just a body in my count A mattress without a bespost, if it matters If it matters Doesn't really matter But hey, you know We all go downtown every once or twice a note For Hanukkah I could try to be nice But there's no sense in it, Is there If everything and everyone else is just as nasty As the rest of it Just is just a test, again A doctors office visit. Simple robotics, Or already stocked up for Hanukkah, Hollywood Where's your homeland deposit box Closet full of robots Closest to the moon, I wrote another poem for you Sorry that I wasn't on the offering table The parakeet, pigeon and pirated Slattery, Damages, damages, All with the Amazon packages, Now we're all robots, Aren't we What corporation to you belong to! Something corporate , or say anything Whose to say Jeff Besoz won't replace us With m robots with thought processes, If once such could project as such presence As an AI freestyle Meanwhile, I've got a butload of buckets and bunts, Bullletwounds, eyes on Manhattan and happens to wish something bad upon me When all I wanted is Somebody to love me And someone to love him, If that's what he wanted (But who knows if what he wanted was all of the bodies opposite of him) I don't belong on this planet I belong in the garbage Put me on mars, mom Stop it, You're almost a robot, get out of my peripheral With your mental illness Geez, I must really want a menorah This is the animal house There's no one alive here Set to be slaughters. Honor the box of offerings as Thoughtful words And parallels What could be under your tongue Is the surface of love Just to touch with the battery acid or chemical trails You have left in your axis Nobody knows better than this How close it is to touching Without being loved But nobody loves you Psychotron, sure we're all robots now Nobody loves anymore {Previously, On…} L E G E N D S The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū {Enter The Multiverse} Ascension What the FUCK did you DO? What did I do?! You know what you did! I didn't do anything! Oh yeah? No! Not on purpose! GODDAMMIT, YOU SON OF A— Where's Jimmy Fallon?! What?! I don't know! Oh no. Oh shit, run. Oh no. What in the FUCK— I am “the fuck” You know what. I'm gonna sue the everliving shit out of you. For WHAT. We'll see. Fuck. Uh oh. FUCK. What now? What this time? Apparently, Jimmy Fallon is missing. What the fuck does that got to do with me. We'll see. Okay, great, Now finish that chapter. What fucking chapter?! All of it. That's—a lot. I want all of it. By my desk, by noon tomorrow. “By” your desk?! Yes, BY. Not ON. I've got too much stuff on my desk— …but it's…like 9 o clock. Should be easy, given your natural talents. What natural talents. PEACOCK. AHAHAHAHA. Okay. Well. Well what. This sucks. I lost all my coins. Hey. Ugh. You dropped this. So how was Los Angeles. What the fuck. You fucking DICK. I told you, I own shares in this. So what's the plan for this, exactly. I dunno, Harry. I got a book of stamps, And a yellow envelope marked “Jimmy Fallon” I will hate you forever. Well, that's retarded. I haven't even smited you yet. I will annihilate you, human. WHERE'S MY SHIT. Who the fuck are you, anyway? Nobody! No one. No one cares about this series, yo. I'l seriously doubt that, Jesse Pinkman. What is this stuff. It's your stuff. This is not what I ordered— Hey— Why is it BLUE Cause it is. So. WHY IN THE— Mischief managed. Alright. This should be good for the night, but we gotta get out of here by morning; I thought your parents owned this place. It's a time share! So? So it's like only —part of the time. That is stupid. No! You're stupid! You're the one who got us into this mess. It's your mess, I was just cleaning it up! Whatever! Stop trippin. Nobody's “tripping.” That's it. I'll be a stripper. Straight outta hell, that kid. Don't I know it. Alright, fine. I said, whatever you do— DONT watch this show. Stuff it, J. Slatts. I'll kill you with my eyeballs Sounds like a threat. Put on a lawsuit, then. Maybe I oughtta… —with a bow tie. You'll look so pretty. I thought I was already pretty. Uh huh. Yeah, look, so honestly I don't know if I'll ever be on the same vibration as like, Jimmy Fallon and them, ok? I don't know how I did it; I don't know what did it, It just happened and then— And then WHAT. It just—ended. Just like that. I'm not trying to offend anybody here. Just like that. Now, I ask: What are we going to do to sell you this dream? Doesnt matter what you do, I'll never believe it. Sure, fine; Don't believe it— We're gonna make you live it. Who the hell us “we” anyway? Now you're speaking in my cadence— Don't flatter yourself I like it. Too late, I guess. So, you see We're building Power triangles And love squares Power triangles And love squares Don't let it scare you, There's love there Don't let it scare you, There's love there Never fear where love has dared To call you up there Corrupt file—no fair. Don't be suprised even the odds seem to turn in your favor, I promise you; Nobody's ever ready For what has just happened here. WAKE UP, FUCKER. Ugh, I can't go through this again. So, I guess I'll have to erase, Or just secretly publish Everything I've ever written About my actual experience as a color, Just so that I can earn money As anything other than A slave— A maid, A housekeeper, A dog walker Or servitor So far under her, That I can't see far enough up to just Scratch the surface Her birthright: The entire network And mine, To sit under her, Wondering what the world would be like At the other end of the spectrum The word form of the White woman The wicked witch of all directions, In which I stand in; I'm at her mercy I've been abandoned before But this disservice, is, I'm afraid The best advice I can take is just To go straight to the bank with my angst and my hatred And shove it So here comes the nameless Face I love, Yet, The faceless God, Was Intoxicated, at best— Manipulation of the Mass Media I'm so Seriously jaded In this torture chamber In my corner office In this hall of racists, I claim, but if all is One in the same Then It's one in the same And I'm mainstream I'm famous If it's One in the same Then It's one in the same If it's One in the same Then I'm mainstream I'm so famous In a whole room full of humans I'm groomed to be useful for something, But what? It just hasn't come yet. I could sit down with a paper and pen, But I'm filling up all of my documents With hollandaise and God For what? It's just another song, or something Or something. It's just another — Goddamnit it, more coughs again. I told you not to watch this. Why do I taste pancakes? Maybe you're having a stroke again. Chyeah, a stroke of genius. I'll show you a stroke. Or don't. Well, there goes the captain. where is that scene, anyway? I don't know, I just wrote it. Great, she left the door open. She's got no furniture! It's a “dance floor” It's “the black box” she called it “the black box” Goddamn, do you listen to all her stuff? “Fear stimulates my imagination” Pilot ASOT Fuck man, What is a woman to a man, And an androgynous genius to The industry, or anyone at all If all are foes ans frauds All else is toxic! I woke up with one hand tucked behind my back Feeling dead drunk, I just woke up again But never fell asleep What world am I in? The end of the Dream sequence The end of the energy keeping me between three things: My past, My future And these prequels, Sequels And seeing arrangements And She's going crazy But nobody quite understands That these demons are chasing me saying “You deserved those hands in your face” The scratches on Kayla's back should have had me but I was too fat To find love again And still have something Wonderfully, undone And wrong with me Wrong with me enough to slam poetry So I'm guessing the white women I love beyond words and bounds are— In charge of whatever happens At the top of the rock; So I jumped off. I want to see someone suffer for all that I've done; No, that's dark, and karmic, you know— To go on like that; The confusions and refusal to accept that The album is called ChaosMagick, But the cover is more Urgent, A prose or a pawn of protection Against all the coughs And the reckless mismanagement The hands in my head And the eye on my scar And the lies on my heart So tell me, What happens When you're flying a kite with your heart, And it's broken? What happens to the kite , When you fly it with your heart And your art up in bundles— heartbroken, heartbroken So what come of Miss May, Come January? What come of Miss April By Next December what comes of the words I was saying For no one But everyone heard them And I've been gone Much longer than months, But still stocked up on all that I've wanted Or all that I got Or just, all that I love But got no undercovers to acknowledge no more How right I was Or how wrong I am What come of Miss June, when Miss January comes around? what come now, around August, When March is long forgotten? What comes of the drugs, Of the come ups, and come downs What comes of the process When nothing is served But the surf has come up Somewhere And I just can't love enough To go there I want to go to there I want to be that girl I want to sit at the top of the rock Writing songs, and sipping mock cocktails I want to Don't you know I just want to get back to Where I belong I'm so out of money and love That I want to be Under the train, When it's coming (Sometimes it's just the impulse that says “GO” Then the train starts to slow And my pain bubbles up into a numb, Dumb, crumbling cluster of poetry You know? Or you don't Cause you're all just on your phones Scrolling Some black man stands over me, Reminding me of why I never trust the ones Who want me most, Or just assume, By color code, That I belong to them I'm sorry, I just can't write with your arms around my neck like this Your heart around my arms like this It's so wholesome I had other verses but forgot them They took away my movies for the curses And the hexes That they put on me I said don't. And the king said “Heads will roll” Cause, you know; I've got parts for all of them now, The ones I'd forgotten But come from the catacombs, Back from the conduit You know, This is awful I had another one, But lost it. The king?! Which one. Teas I! No, it wasn't, It was Gían's father, From further off Should I call John back? Which one? Turns out, I love all of them— Turns out, I've got all of them In my college I taught them all to be someone Becoming of acknowledgement With nombres most common Juan, in subcultures, but Beyond that (Or above them) It's John, Or just Jonathan, Watch the ones who drop the consanant; They're always so troublesome, But I took them all up As understudies, Social Studies and some theatrics, Joan of Ark said Two more moments (Two more weeks in) I could have a body worthy Of a Grammy award, but — Would I be a writer then? Probably not, hon— Writers are Off a bit. If you were pretty, ever at all— would you have written this?! If I were pretty at all would there be reason to be this Conflicted? Some of those old New York hallways Haven't been painted In ages Since they made them Don't make that face at me I only dropped my key once On the fourth floor —they're horrible, you know To us, The “brothers” know no love They are destruction, speaking Of this, I got a cold heart. Cold like the robber Cold like the calling I've done in my corner office cold, like the jello mold forming a thought process Worthy enough I might love it like a husband We're re-evaluating your circumstances. Whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean. I've got friends at USPS What the fuck could that even account to. Look, I'm gonna have to give this some serious considerations. It's not that serious. It's not that serious. Of course it is! I'm up to my knees in investments! So?! I wade a waiste deep, Surely you can get by “Up to your knees” What exactly do you need? Money. And lots of it. I mean, from me. Money. Really? Leave me alone. I told you not to write this. You're a voice in my head; No, I'm the hand in your mailbox. What in the fuck do you believe in. I believe in everything! They said you were a genius; I didn't expect you to be —at the very least, lucid— *squints* learn some new vocabulary, okay? For what? Dinner. Maybe. We're still in the process of voting. She's crazy. We'd be crazy not to actually hire her. Her accounts are all practically open; We could just take it. Yeah, and when she kills herself, and there's no blood on our hands— There's nothing that can be done about the amount of this stuff that's already printed! Printed?! What?! You mean— She's published? Self-published. My, what a beautiful happenstance To have already had you And awakened atop mattresses Marked for my assassins hand— Polite, I lost you All of us, Atop the rock We stood and suffered Months beyond a montage, Undercover Love was lost, And all's uncertain The interception of God, At the cost of What terror and cutbacks Have caused us all What you lost was $50, a Hallmark Card, an Academy award, a long lost star's phone number, And all that you wanted, The cock of the gun Was the sound that you wondered What was called , then ran off into wonder. How am I gonna make money And become an award winning songwriter Music producer And multidisciplinary artist, Without all the funding it takes to get noviced Without taking clothes off Wake up 10 years younger I'm suffering My stomach was a rubber band My stomach was a rubber band My only song was Water I forgot to stop For the applause I drowned in all the love; right then and there I died of Lovenessness [The Festival Project] The sound and laughter of children play A baby in a basket The basket case at Trader Joe's Who know what happens It just doesn't pull my heartstrings any longer That my son belongs without his mother So I'd better have another This is us, come on. Don't do this to me. Don't do this, Timmy, you'll be sorry. Come on! We're not even in that movie! We are, though; it's still Listen, you've got the right guy for this. Are you sure. Yeah, I promise. Officers, Stop for a *movement [hot cops flash dance number] Fuck, well, that was all wrong. But worth it! What I meant was— God, this show gets good at 31, But I'm only 22, So I guess I'll know how wrong the war was Once we've lost it, Cause imm a man now The episode is over, Soon comes the next episode With snoop dogg, Or not That was our wedding album. Scatterbrained, and pregnant— There she was just putting all the things together That she needed to be Needed To be needed. There she was, All on 4/20 Trying not to do the wrong thing, But what was it? To be loved. Then, There she was at 21 just going off again At some event— A friend, and her Back then could not imagine They'd become him To be someone. Not as one, But of entirely another World apart, aside from Cyclones into snow cones Turns the watchers into artists All their own, And off my own accord Or own account Or done with boredom Dove soap Open doors And clocks that turn the other hand away, Each day you love Manhattan But can't have that. That's it— This is just Season 1 of Mad Men WHERE THE FUCK IS— [she throws her hands above her head in surrender] I don't KNOW! Oh, you're a girl now?! I guess! What's with those pants, then? To hide the assets! What assets?! You look tragic. I'm going for ‘skeleton' to match all your wives and everybody else on the red carpet Who said you get the red carpet? Manhattan. That guy lies! Well how about this: The walk of stars were carved out in blocks of marble All in my honor. 1000/1 You're our God, now. What! I don't want to be God! SUCK IT UP. YOU WON. I don't wanna! Yaaaaaaayyy. You got the award! All the awards! Speech! Speech! SUNNI BLŪ Uh—- I'm drunk, And there's nothing on the teleprompter [a man in the audience coughs] A-HEM. [Sunni Blū immidiateky shoots the coughing man] [multi-camera shots of celebrity audience reactions; laughing, clapping in hilarity as if someone hasn't just died] TAYLOR SWIFT (unmoved at all) SUNNÏ BLŪ I don't know why you're laughing. That was awful. That guy died [audience is insane, super fake as usual] [more cut takes] SUNNÏ BLŪ It should have been you, Taylor. TAYLOR SWIFT (Still unaffected) SUNNI BLU Anyway. I'd like to thank the academy… Cause I am the academy [Audience is celebrities being celebrities] SUNNI BLU You guys are all idiots: I'm a go f*ck myself— And anyone else who wants to show up At my afterparty. Whatever. Peace. [cheesy academy award music plays—Sunnï knocks over the mic, peaces out obnoxiously; the audience cheers wildly and the host returns to the stage.] Who's the host? Whatever. Hey, better than nothin. You're telling me. yeah. I know: Oh, she's a comic? Yeah. I got it. BOB SAGET Ooh, that's good. Ū No—no my God. No Bob Saget, stop it! Wait, Bob Saget is dead right? Last I recall: Fuck—FUCK! Dammit. Dammit, dammit. Okay, Rue— you're up. Rue, what in the— Shhhh, don't let them know I'm in here! Oh, wait— It's me, Blanche. That's hot. I'm a debutant. My god, you're so young. Here, take this, What's that, You'll need that. V.O. I'm being hunted by the ghost of Bob Saget. *haunted. No, hunted! There she is! Grab her! Ooh, Bob Saget. Why, yes. How old are you? Not dead yet! You don't have to kidnap me, I'll happily go with you, sir. Really? Yes. GET IN THE— NOH, GET IN THE VAN. INT. IN THE VAN. [a bunch of hot male celebrities are in the van] Oh. Okay. Wow. That was easy. What is it, Friday. It's Friday and a half. Friday.5 What. There's a Friday movie between 1 and 2 So I guess this is season 8.5 I guess this is season 8.5 HEY, GET BACK HERE. What is this. It's your lunch. I don't want this. Well, okay. What— is this strange music— They call it dubstep Come on, Jimmy, you're slipping Kimmel, cause Fallon is dead or presumed missing Probably Skrillex Probably a bounty on his head, Dog willing The Festival Priojects Inclement Infinite Is coming up next, on Legends Come on Jim, KEEP UP. Nobody can know about this, okay? Wait, where's Kimmel Okay, I got O'Brien— Black Irish Bastard… Alright, Alec Baldwin is a little tied up, right now, but LEMON, Fuck. That's l—future me. What?! I gotta go, okay?! What? Go where. Let's get DRUNK. No, That's—I got a show tonight What?! Look at my lexicon. Your—what, Meet me on Lexington. Oh, this pussy is finished! I got it, I got it! He's LENNONNNNN!! JOHN LENNON Fuck. Look, I gotta go. John Lennon?! You're dead! Funny, I thought not. Watch this. MOOOOOOOOOOOM. Fuck, What, It's my kid. I gotta go. Wait, you have kids?! Well, I just had you, didn't I? “The mayor” is a secret underground rap star lol #trappin Okay, What's else happened Idk hold on Okay, So whats the sauce on this sandwich. Oh. Jeez, this again. That *sandwhich? Hah. There's no sauce on that sandwhich. —there's not!? No: You see. It's very simple. WAKE UP, YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR. we gotta take the train. The train?! NO. NOTTHETRAIN. NO. Man, fuck the train! [SUNNI BLŪ wakes up on the train.] What's this, the train? [is the train] (Angrily, tossing newspaper) Man, FUCK the train! Other hobo: Aww, thanks, I need that for my— [s/he snatches back the paper]. Wait! I need that back—what day is it? [drunkenly illegible gibberish turns into perfect Hebrew] GODDAMMIT, it's Shabbat; I gotta get to Temple. [s/he shoves the newspaper back into the hobo's lap] Here. Oh no, I thought I couldn't forget RABI FUCK _]€_# WHAT WAS IT GODDAMIT IT WAS SO CLEVER. God So it was… What did you do with it? Do with what My idea what idea My—my rabbi joke— What rabbi joke you know what rabbi joke! You were the one who gave it to me. Oh, did I? YES, SATAN, JESUS. GOD Ohh, Satan-Jesus. I like that one. NO— it was— It was much better than that, it was— It was funny. Oh, it was? YES. —did you write it down? Fuck, I realize I just opened a A FUCK PORTAL. OHH, GET IN IT, GET INSIDE. I had an Artemis in my pocket But I lost him Walked away from the cornermarker And the cornerstone, for the sunset I wonder if songs always come When I'm walking, Or God makes us promises, For world of I'm not JB, I'm KG, Can you see me now? If you could see what I see, We'd be even wtf did I just write this And not realize I just wrote this Yeah. That shit happens to me all the time. WHAT. ALL THE TKMEx Shut up, THE ANDRE3K CHARADES GAME is getting intense. What in the FUCK is that. *flutes* Ohh. And KITES. yyyyyYYYYYYYAAAAAHHH—— GODDAMMIT. I can't see really, I just dream I'm not thinking, I'm dancing This is what you asked for Exactly what you asked for For once, I'm finally glad I have your eyes on My friend I can see you all on the horizon, Singing NO, NO MORE MUSICALS!! Jimmy, what did you do?! I don't know what I did! You lyin bastard. I'm not lying! So, where ya from? —I don't know where I'm from. Listen, I'm gonna need you SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP. It seems like these scenes are getting shorter. I'm bored with this. Ok. Let's do something else. I fuckin hate you. I hate you. I fuckin hate you. 88. Oh no: 8 Wait, what the— *dolphin* WOAH, okay: Oh, no. No, No, no OHNONO. I told you I'd find him. Anyway. Seems like there's something more important I should be doing. Are you sure this is the right place. Right place. Right time. Fuck— FUCK. What, what happened. I lost my— SKRILLEX! No. SKRILLEX. NO, NO— SKR— I swear to God, Google knows everything. Google don't know shit about SHIT. I gotta lose m 39 lbs. For what. MADONNA DO IT FOR THE BANANAS. I hate— you. COME ON, MISTER. Fuck off, Madonna, I'M A GOD. I miss Beyoncé. That's not relevant. Beyoncé is relevant to everything. *smacks* QUIT FANGIRLING. Trust me, I hate you. I don't trust you, but I believe you. I got it. I hate this place. Holy shit. What. I developed a new phobia. What's that mean?! I don't know, I can probably use it in a fight or something. For what. SPECIAL ABILITY UNLOCKED. I see you looking over my shoulder I see the shadows, I try not to jump at em. I spent six months in a coffin, you know I spent my life a sarcophagus (Wow, I got it right.) Try not to mutter those haunts in a hospital Try to recover from trauma Uncovered post traumatics, Anxiety attacks and a lot of those— What do you call them? A flashback. Here goes one: SONNY MOORE aka SKRILLEX appears. I told you not to— But I did! I didn't mean to! But you did! This is ludachris! Oh look, it's— Fuck. God dammit. Come on! What's his name!? What's his name?! I'll think abo it it. Are you serious? Another shapeshifter? Yes, I guess welll just have to kill them all, then. I just want to go home. You don't have one. …oh. So here we have. Okay, wait a second. I wasn't faking my symptoms at all, actually. My heart had dropped, and been pounding and fluttering insessantly— It had been a hard week, but especially the last three days; The coughing—. Everyone seemed to be wearing clothing with stars or bears on it, Champion sportswear. I fucking hate champion sportswear. But the palpitations were real as ever— and now— On a Saturday night in the Jamaica, Queens medical center emergency room, There they were again. Only this time I knew exactly why. ‘Too Bizzare' by Skrillex begins to play, via Complications 003- The Trauma Method. Irony. It was ironic, but still startling, Started with some nostalgic traumas, Every other time I saw an ER doctor (Why I don't go) Fuck, I just realized I have to airdrop myself 880 times. That fucking sucks. Did you say you were a doctor? I was, once. When is “once” At some point. Listen, I'm gonna need you to backtrack to get to the bottom of this. I'm innocent, I promise! We caught you at 27 different angles doing this. Oh. [beat] I plead the 5th. Ohh. Cerulean. My favorite. c R A Y On Oh, I get it, I L L U M I N A T U S. Nice, it worked. I know everything about you. So you do. [beat] You're a God. What the fuck do you want from me. Listen. I. Am not. A God, Right. That's exactly what a God would say. No they wouldn't! Because a God wouldn't say anything! AHA. Don't ‘AHA' ME. I don't mind, at all It don't matter— to me I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me Might as well not think about it The space between us Might as well just stay awake then No sense in leaving Just to come back It don't matter to me, now Now and again I go crazy just making arrangements, But besides that, If you like it, you should have it It's a long road, As Kaskade says, And a short dance, With the right one And time goes by I would call it mild, But actually I'm in a wild panic It might be a heart attack I just might even Die right here But I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me I don't mind—at all It don't matter to me, I said I don't mind, at all, now It really don't matter to me I said, I don't mind, at all It really don't matter to anyone Now does it (Not it doesn') I don't mind, at all It don't matter— to me I don't mind, at all It don't matter—to me Might as well not think about it The space between us Might as well just stay awake then No sense in leaving Just to come back Palpitations and precipitations at the pulpit Preacher, please don't make me a culprit I been prayin— I been paying my tithes, 10% Even, Now 25, Almost half of me is not mine! Why try? I've been walking out, in straight lines I been crying silently It ain't right I been making most of my nights Sometimes I see sun come up twice Up, down up 10 degrees, It ain't right Up down up 33, it ain't right Up, down, up I've been spending my time Down, up, down Riding round, Trying not to down in my mind Up, down up What is this. It's my project. What is it? The Festival Project. Yeah but—what— What. Is it? …it's my project. *painfully infuriated* Okay, enter here. EXAM ROOM 10 Why exam room 10? Because. Where are the other nine? Just—get in. I'm not going in there! JUST GET IN. UGH. DEADMAU5 (head and all) stands at a tall podium in the center of the room) What is this, This is deadmau5. I know that. —-!!! —?!? What. !!! What? This is the exam? Yes! NO. What is “no”. I'm not playing for deadmau5. That's the exam. Then I fail! Automatic Fail? yes. Automatic fail. Then you win. What. *slams gavel* Congratulations—you're the next superstar DJ. WhY. . What. Woohoo! I just retired! DEADMAU5 exits. … … After a few moments of comic tension, the Deadmau5 head rolls back in through the exit which he has taken. Ugh. Fuck this. No matter what you do, you're a superstar DJ. What. No! Yes. The answer is yes. NO. Fuck. What the FUCK. No matter what you do. You want to go, Go, you want to die, Die, you want to try, try You want to cry, cry Do what you want; As so will I, Demand is demand— Supply is supply. EDX So then, I followed this long hallway under the stage deck. Uh huh. And it led to a door— Uhhuh, where'd the door lead? To a portal. Woah. Pasqualle! You made it! I—yes. Congratulations! *blows party horn* *Daisies/ confetti* You're like 25! I'll be 25 forever. Nice! Yeah. I guess that's why it's called ‘music'—a musician without muses is just useless. ‘Well, whose next?' I wondered. All of my muses were not just so wonderful to me, but adored by many—and perhaps this is what allured me most—befuddled ans confounded me; once my mind was set on something, there was nothing else its eye could see—and for how long one God could only know, how deep the love would go and that the blood would run deep, and the scars to show for it, only upon my heart and never by soul—for a love was a love, and even once came and gone, to the end of my life I knew I would still ponder upon them, at one time or another, my muses—star studded lovers, rather than crossed, shiny and golden like all diamond and trophies so treasured and thought of as precious. ‘Yes, you are—precious.' Another tongue in cheek thought, for the other that I was, and also was not, as summer drew onward as short as it would come and go—a reminder to leave the apartment more often, and to mind my manners, to find the upper echelon wherever it was and come quietly into its doors, to open my world and wordform of thought, into a place where my heart always was; then, and only then, would I be home. Amongst the men and women of the uppercut and classy, luxurious big fishing ponds and flocks of doves upon olive branches—the peaceful world long parted from where mine was, by only the fault of my own. What had been done just certainly was, and yet, what was to come was an open poem, not of mine, but Godform in thought. ‘I wonder what's at the top of Rockefeller Plaza.' —perhaps, a gander at the bottom of an even larger entertainment complex. Then, again, only God would know what was beyond all that I wanted; a job—and not just any job at all— the one that I had always wanted. Mmm. Birthday cake. Suddenly the taste of a white confetti crème filled my mouth with a delicious remnince of what it might be like to taste a confectionary sugar again—but i couldn't imagine ever making it just on talent and charisma alone—no. Indeed, it seemed something had damaged my charm, and perhaps it was just the swarms and droves of phone controlled masses that saw me as nothing more than dust, I had started to surrender my desire to perform, and the quality of my music—along with my ability to make it, suffered with the awful thing that had been crowding my soul at all—whatever it was, evil and dark in nature, sure saw to it that it wanted to hurt me in all the ways that it could—and in all the ways it could not, I stayed away from most others, favoring my delusions of love. ‘Nobody seems to understand that the pain they cause will only harm themselves.', I thought Younger souls, however, they were—and they would be kept in the pain that I was in one way or another until eventual death, far behind me on the infinite road to the source. Far enough behind, that it seeked to destroy my progress, and for all that it could, it also couldn't. The infliction of pain would simply not act as a measure for control any longer. Off into my own world, where I was at least free from the thoughts and judgement of others. She's the most beautiful girl, And I'm the most beautiful boy; So naturally, we belong together, don't we? I see a pretty picture, Picket fences and a family Golden Retrievers Someone relieve her; She doesn't believe me TV dreams and exquisite pretty people Burning candles, fire flames and frequent figures, Guest characters and cameos, Repeat offenders, multiple appearances Suddenly, really, it's another need People, people pleasers Audience affection, Tragic endings, Butterflies and new beginnings Gun under my tongue, Rubber like a frog My mind is in a fog Haven't bothered going on a walk To Trader Joe's but The anthem of my youth, A lost soul Another form of my love So what I wonder Put the gun up under my chin Rubber like a frog Blow my head off Just cause I didn't blow up Selfish cunt Big brother, Another hypnotist Little brother, Gotta love him Gotta love em For the Love of God I could stop for a moment Wash my mind out with soap Like I'm ten years younger, even Seriously 20 years between us, You can't even hide underwater In a bathtub Seriously, Someone help us For the love of God, for the love of Hollywood Seriously, Someone love us, For the love of God, For the love of Rockefeller Plaza Someone help us Another possible walk of stars A little shop of horrors Another whole story I get rid of my demons The hoes screamin I put semen in her Permanent like semen, Just keep dreamin I'mma just keep preaching SaMo, Brooklyn Europe Next I keep scheming Whoever you are; If you're a wreck— You need a check No respect, neglect Just cover your neck (I'm blind to my own design, sometimes) That's what the eye is Try this: Close your eyes and say thrice, kids I am the God of the eye, Osiris I am the God of the Eye, I'm Osiris I am the God, I walk amongst the highest Thoth, You lost Better just die and keep trying I am the God of the eye, I am (Try this) I am the God of the eye (I never die) I am the God of the eye (That's right, three times) I am the God of the eye No black and white television, In my dimension we pay attention to centrifugal, The mission isn't in materialism, Whatever youre spending If money the God, l of your eye, Realize, I am higher My gunfire, Is right on the back of The one dollar I am the God of the eye I Am Your money is nothin to us We come in peace, To end suffering Pretty little nigga Look just like Kendrick Kickin it with jigga I'm the new higs boson Part of me never left Boston (Fuck Starr!) Part of me never left homeless This ain't my home It's my office You never heard this song You don't notice I'm an ugly kid, you don't notice me Rooftop smells like soy sauce On god I am ugly You don't notice -Atari the God Can we get back to this, please? Damn. She really whooped her ass, though. Janet, can I borrow you for a second? No. Please. [Whoopi Goldberg appears in the doorway, gesturing “c'mon”] …alright. I got convictions on my lips, I took a picture Turn the page The worst of all was, it really did seem like they were racists— INSOMNIAC EVENTS Not just racists— the most deadly kind of racists. WHITE SUPREMACISTS You really want it this way, don't you? No! I LOVE you! Oh, do you? If there's a mile in here, I swear to god.. Are you high enough yet? I thought so HIGHER! hire star* What. Just do it. You remember these guys, right? GOOD CANNABIS, FAIRBANKS, ALASKA No. Why are we back here. Alright, we might have fucked up. Why. This guy sucks. HEY. What. COME BACK TO ALASKA never that. WHAT, WHY NOT! GOD HATES FAGS!!! Well, you're wrong! WHITE POWER. Nah. ALL LIVES MATTER O rly? Even this guy? Literally every “NO” …so, “all lives.” Look, I don't care what color it is; I want that book in my library. GO TO THE LIVRARY. NO. GET IN HERE. NO AUBREY. STAY DEAD. She's dead, right? YOU CALLED ME HERE. I didn't! You Did. I did not, all i said was *swoons* …I love her. (I really do) WHAT?! “I Love you?!” It was more the *swoon* that did it. Disconnect. Fuck, I lost deadmau5 again What'd you do to him? Nothing! Put him back! He's still there! He's right there, you see him? No! This isn't deadmau5. We want deadmau5. bring him BACK. Fuck, I fucked up. What'd you do? …nothing? Pick up the phone Pick up the phone …hello? Who IS this? Fuck it, I quit. Man, God never puts my dishes back in the right place, like ever. I told you, I don't live here, I'm just… Babysitting. CC! What! CC! What? CC WHAT. Fuck, man. That was wild. Where the fuck have you been? I don't know. You don't know—you smell funny. “Funny” is that what that smell is? No. When were you? When? Ha. Did you—- Did I what? —did you go to a party without me? Lmfao fuck these niggaz. Why, what happened. What's this. Where was it?! Idlewild. “IdLeWiLd”?!?!? You. Old. One here and die, you know, l. It's cattle call for curtain calls guy Where did this go— What was this, once? It's the return Welcome to Oz This is the Tower of Babel Remember; I wrote that Better than the bottom, Still not the top —it's not as fast, when it's not going all the way up Did you jump yet Come around more Keep coughing Are you sure this is where it was or—? Somewhere else I stayed Back when I was homeless It's hopeless! We lost her Antenna, antenna SUPERMARKET I loved her —she was undercover —I'm still in your stirrups I'm lost in New York, then BACKFIRE Adele remix is on [have a seat] Can I go now? I still need a hat, a half dollar and an alter cloth You could win an award for this; I don't want an award, I just want my son back Motherhood, motherhood Brotherhood, brotherhood This isn't one of us! No one was No one was Can I go now? Where to? Home! Nope, that's just the office, I'm still homeless, unless I They got cabanas on top of offices! (The rich and the famous) Networking and brunches— _this looks fun, doesn't it? I altered the course of history In brief exchanges and Various social atrocities This is hypocrisy! lol rly This is hypocrisy!! Hyper awareness and, psychic inclinations… You realize the more low quality people you let in The more low quality this country becomes, don't you? I put a roll in the back of the chosen ones. Used to be cast more, Now something seldom ever happens Such as this— A fun Fortune 500 What does that even mean Forbes. Look it up. What if the policy is Foreign; Look it up. I know enough about the girl next door to know Something is horrible, Something inside of her Rots at the core, Her obsession; My undeservedness of such, What she must, I mustn't, just Unjustice Broski, okay I got to discard All the pichardo Besides just this one (I'm standing on top of you) Put somebody worthy on the fourth floor Worse off, I was done for Before I got to New York What's her for?! I know enough about the man upstairs to know All these glares and “How dare you's” and Hatred says Why would you wait 30 years Until today, I guess Something is certainly off about her. I said yes. It was more probably something like “SUCK MY DICK” What. “YOU HEARD ME” Oh yes, I did. From 1990 to 1993 From 1990 To 1993 From 1990 To 1993 Stop breeding these things, “Love is familiarity” No Love is what you make it But you can't Because of slavery They don't make music —they don't make love either Well, look where your lust took you! Nowhere! Exactly! Look where your love took you: Vegas, Los Angeles, South of the Border Above it a New Yorker— Under budget, Celibate and My arms are too short to jump the turnstyle, Meanwhile My ex husband left permanent scars on My face My lips My arms My hands And my heart. Did you bite him? Of course I bit him, he was strangling me. You definitely won this fight. I know. Look, if I don't call for security, This bitch is gonna make me kill her. OCTOPUSSY NO. What. NO. Stankass. I will KILL this bitch. Look, I gotta get ahead in this. I need a WIN. These are customs. Trash. Wash your pussy. Send her back. Nah, you know what. Remove that hex. Wait, what, really?! Yeah, like; Reverse it. Woah. That's crazy. They got like….white slaves now. That's not right. What do you mean. That's not it. You said “reverse it” This is what the white supremacy just did to everyone else: [world in crisis except for for people who look like Kayla Lauren, to whom EVERYTHING is a fucking crisis, that isn't] BECKY/KAREN/WICKED WITCH OF WHITE AMERICA I AM OFFENDED I'm offended that you signed your like 12 year old daughter up to pose nearly nude, but— Hey look, it's us now; is this freedom?! Uh…. Why are all the female models like 12 and all the male models are fully grown men— Or women. Right. Idk. Wait, I do. You do?! Wait. Something tells me all the pedophiles and all the white supremacists are in the same group… Run the same businesses— Have the same families. This is disgusting Okay, this is gross That's not right ! That's not my job! Oh, it's not!!? NO. Who should I call That guy. So you want this? Oh, it's a death curse?! It will NEVER end. Wanna bet. I'll kill you and take the whole world with me. Now that's a threat. Thing is, I'm actually making it. I'm telling on you! Ok. Wait 30 years though so you look and sound REALLY fucking stupid. Ok. 30 YEARS. Doesn't make sense. What's the statute of limitations for— Hm. Depends. Depends on what. Who are you?! WHO ARE YOU?! NOBODY YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT. THEN WHY DO I? wtf is this? This is Texas being petty. Ok, fuck ya‘lol YAW. I'm serious, wtf is wrong with you. Something. What. Fix me. Fix you. Hm. Ok. *COUGHING* Somethings wrong here. Yep, it's definitely some kind of FIX IT. Where's this ROCK? At the ROCK. Like, where tho?! Ur gonna need this. What. They r crucifying u. Noted. Hunts Point Food Distribution Center Lmfao I need this word hold on “eliminating redundancies, setting strict timelines, and allowing cases to proceed contemporaneously” [ Finally, recognizing the danger that social media poses to young people and mental health, New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene Commissioner Dr. Ashwin Vasan today issued a Health Commissioner's Advisory identifying unfettered access to and use of social media as a public health hazard, just as past U.S. surgeons general have done with tobacco and firearms.] A win. I don't play dead. What do you call this: DIE! DIE, BITCH! Corrections. I still don't understand how this— ACID HAPPENS. Out of sight Out of mind So why these guys Tryna waste my time Tryna fuck with my mind with All these lights OH MY GOD I ain't got time for that Well, Maybe I do— I just Don't like NIGGAZ LIKE YOU. (Say what) I don't like Niggaz like U! I'm Sunnï Blū! You're stupid Oh, so he put a curse on sunni blu, too? Ok. Cool. When all my aliases come up This dumb motherfucking drunk Is gonna get stuck In his own woods He'll bury himself In the words that he left With the scars In the words that he left With the scars Sunni blu Is the sayer of stars I slaughtered them all Swallowed them whole Like a big black hole I'm a big black god I'm a big black God Fuck Twinkle that broad One punch girl One punch girl 5 punch faggot I'll unwrap flags on your Goddamn Fuck that Put a curse on my alter ego Lucky he's a he, tho I blow holes in em I blow smoke And love sausage I'm a hedon And he not a Hero He broke He lost I'm open Shirts vs skins I got 666 Curses to show you What your words did IM RA I'm a big black God You're at home with the young apostle Let's be honest He never even liked his father So turned him to a mother, Told his mother to ‘run far, And bring back The life that I want' I'm a big black God In light skinned clothing You don't know to explode Or explode on me Cause my mommy's a Dark skinned icon That my God Find something to pass the time, God Sunni with I, huh I won Fuck a pedophile wifebeater Bury him in the woods with his fury Fear me, now I'm coming up with reverse curses And cures Cause my words Bought the whole world Buried you in the woods I'll bury you in the woods, Bitch Very good I'm a big black God -Blū. GOD is the GOAT I just became god I do what I want I get what I want when I want it I don't want no problems Me myself and God only I buy everything I used to steal These tears in my heart say I'm healing What's the difference, anyway? I've never been fit for your interests, or industry Add insult to injury Add everything to my Amazon cart, then My sympathies Nothing is greater in heaven As it is in hell, for this industry Turned on its head And turned over from 7 to ten Check your messages, then Shut up kid, this doesn't involve you You're not included in the package Michael c hall and John c Riley reprise Mr. Cellophane in the style of DEXTER MORGAN. HA. Classic. GOT EM. V.O. I met her at The Jumping Point {Coming Up…} INT. THE JUMPING POINT POP-UP NIGHTCLUB LOUNGE & BAR. NIGHT “A Long Day's Night” / “A Hard Day's Night” C {CONFUSION SPELL, SUCCESSFUL} [Sequence Initiated.] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. {

god tv love jesus christ music american new york amazon fear texas money health trust power google ai peace man rock los angeles las vegas dogs anxiety fall dj home writing simple er mit guns holy satan south funny night class forbes fortune taylor swift academy espn grammy started champion temple cold broadway sun run mcdonald dark beyonce quit fight networking motherhood manhattan straight speech queens dinner worse shit burning worthy audience cheese trash gotta bar lol drunk wicked heads galaxy fuck new yorker tower jamaica riding congratulations wtf remove writers classic blow reverse solid wondering butterflies supply bitch infinite images yellow wash scratch shut foreign younger peacock selfish bought closet manipulation copyright realize keller john lennon fix repeat nah tight shut up permanent semi lemon buried alec baldwin tequila tragic hyper bill murray brotherhood infants hanukkah remind hatred urgent ham waking aha i love lexington cc mm mister ashamed whoopi goldberg shirts artemis curses atari officers corrupt jimmy fallon corrections uncommon bury disconnect jb int automatic speaking in tongues advisory ambulance nevermind ur complications trader joe marked walked t rex rubber keep up irony cents hm wham bob saget rooftop kg mischief idk shabbat stumble kite reminding kosher wilhelm chevy chase skrillex rue polite babysitting mmm social studies wrecked hum closest damages kimmel no love superb dammit hem samo deadmau5 fix it goddamn shy who are you hard days fairbanks caddyshack rodney dangerfield printed harold ramis oof ata swallowed sunni cyclones atop geez lmfao skr shhhh antenna jeez defended thoth long day ohh hah daisies tryna aww slattery new york city department celibate happy accidents oh shit fuckers dangerfield god can suck it up rots picket white power jesse pinkman aight ramis sunn whatchu noh god for uuml god get idlewild cerulean swore health commissioner god find karmas satan jesus dexter morgan yaw grossing hallmark cards cellophane stay dead nevel ted knight cindy morgan palpitations god so say uncle rockefeller plaza liz lemon goddamnit google documents brian doyle murray scatterbrained get gone neatly ahaha mother of pearl get in the van iambic just let go ashwin vasan sonny moore god hates fags slatts

Sam Horn – Does your business POP?

Play Episode Play 30 sec Highlight Listen Later Apr 29, 2024 30:58 Transcription Available

Sam Horn – Does your business POP? After reading Sam Horn's book “POP”, I just had to have her on to talk about how you can make your business stand out from the crowd. We talked about how the first 60 seconds can make or break your business. Sam also shared how to use AIR – Alliteration, Iambic and Rhyme when choosing a name for a business, product or service. She's a great story-teller. Listen to this new episode and hear how you can use POP – Purposeful, Original, Pithy – to help your business stand out. About Sam Horn Sam Horn is the Founder/CEO of the Intrigue Agency. Her 3 TEDx talks and 10 books - including POP!, Tongue Fu! and Talking on Eggshells - have been featured in New York Times, on NPR, and presented to hundreds of organizations including Intel, Accenture, Oracle and ASAE.  Perhaps, most importantly, Sam is known for her ability to help people "connect dots forward" to produce one-of-a-kind brands, books, businesses and presentations that scale their impact - for good. https://www.facebook.com/SamHornPOP/ https://www.instagram.com/samhornintrigue/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/samhorn/ https://twitter.com/SamHornIntrigue If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at Alan@WeddingBusinessSolutions.com or visit my website Podcast.AlanBerg.com Please be sure to subscribe to this podcast and leave a review (thanks, it really does make a difference). If you want to get notifications of new episodes and upcoming workshops and webinars, you can sign up at www.ConnectWithAlanBerg.com  Did you get your tickets to Wedding MBA this year? The price goes up as you get closer. You can save $20 off your ticket(s) by using the coupon code - Alan - at www.WeddingMBA.comContribute to "Ask Me Anything": submit questions for me to answer, either as a full episode, or at the end of an episode. Click here to submit your question (I may not get to them all). Thanks!Alan

new york times original pop tedx npr oracle intel founder ceo accenture ask me anything rhyme eggshells sam horn asae pithy tongue fu wedding mba iambic

Sole Solutions: Exploring Fashion Tech's Impact on Footwear

Styled by Science CEOs

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2024 45:57

Ever wondered what goes into the shoe design process today? The answer might just surprise you. Maeve Wang, co-founder of IAMBIC, joins Ayo & Megan to talk about her journey to founding an on demand manufacturing focused footwear company that integrates AI into the fit experience to provide ultimate comfort and longevity. In this episode you will learn about the reality of the footwear industry, how AI is changing the landscape, and how on demand manufacturing is the answer. About Maeve Wang After returning 300 pairs of shoes in 3 years due to poor shoe fit, Maeve Wang became the unlikely fashion founder of IAMBIC. With her background, Maeve brings a nuanced and individualized approach to an industry that has long been plagued by uniformity. Maeve began her career as a Bain consultant where she worked with Fortune 500 executive teams on their most critical innovation and retail initiatives. Maeve then served as VP of Delos Ventures, where she led product development and investments in wearables, digital health, and digital content. Maeve graduated from Harvard with a degree in Government and Economics. Learn more at linktr.ee/maevewang. LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/maevetwang / linkedin.com/company/weareiambic Instagram: @maevewang / @weareiambic Facebook: @maevewang / @iambic.co Twitter: @maeve_wang / @weareiambic TikTok: @weareiambic

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Dried Blood COVID Dx, Cryo-Shocked Tumor Cell Delivery Vehicles, Verve Halts Trial, Iambic Starts Trial, and Diagonal Therapeutics Launches

Touching Base

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2024 31:54

Episode 16 (April 5, 2024): This week, the GEN editors discussed deep proteome profiling of home-sampled dried blood spots to assess the effects of SARS-CoV-2 in mildly symptomatic or asymptomatic, rapid liquid nitrogen treatment for converting tumor cells into carriers for gene editing tools that target cancer in vivo, Verve Therapeutics' pausing of a clinical trial due to a serious adverse event, Iambic Therapeutics' advancement of its first AI-designed candidate into the clinic, and the launch of Diagonal Therapeutics to find agonist antibodies for heteromeric receptor complexes. Featuring Uduak Thomas (Senior Editor, GEN), Alex Philippidis (Senior Business Editor, GEN), Jonathan Grinstein, PhD, (Senior Editor, GEN), and moderated by Corinna Singleman, PhD, (Managing Editor, GEN and IPM) Listed below are key references to the GEN stories, media, and other items discussed in this episode of Touching Base: The State of Omics 2024 Registration GEN Summit COVID-19 Infections Detected in Dried Blood Spots via At-Home Proteomic ProfilingBy GEN, April 2, 2024. CRISPR-Cas9 Targets Lung Cancer Using Cryo-Shocked Tumor CellsBy GEN, March 31, 2024. Iambic Rhythm: AI Drug Developer Enters the Clinic, Targeting HER2 CancersBy Alex Philipidis, GEN, April 3, 2024. Archimedes' Box: Diagonal Therapeutics Raises $128 Million to Discover Agonist AntibodiesBy Jonathan D. Grinstein, PhD, GEN Edge, April 3, 2024. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Beyond the Sole with Maeve Wang CEO and Founder of Iambic Footwear

The Jon Schultz Podcast: The Myth to Overnight Success

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2024 57:27

In this captivating episode, we unfold the extraordinary journey of Maeve Wang, the visionary founder behind Iambic, a company that has daringly shifted from its software origins to pioneer the future of footwear with its custom-fit shoe innovation, powered by AI. Maeve's story is not just about creating a groundbreaking product; it's a deeply personal tale of ambition, resilience, and the relentless pursuit of a dream that challenges the status quo of an entire industry. From her early days, shaped by the legacy of her refugee parents, through the transformative experiences of mentorship and education, Maeve's path is a striking example of how diverse influences forge a leader determined to make a significant impact. The episode dives into the heart of Maeve's mission with Iambic: to solve a universal problem with a blend of technology, art, and a profound understanding of human needs. Recognized by Time as one of the Best Inventions of 2023 and supported by a grant from the US National Science Foundation, Iambic stands as a beacon of innovation. This is not just a story about shoes; it's about reimagining the intersection of technology and personal expression, where AI is not merely a tool but a craftsman, tailoring experiences that fit the unique contour of every individual's life. Through Maeve's eyes, we explore the labyrinth of challenges in the shoe industry, from the intricate dance of design and functionality to the hurdles of manufacturing. With each step, Iambic confronts these obstacles with ingenuity, pushing the boundaries of what's possible and setting new benchmarks for sustainability, comfort, and style. Tune in to be inspired by Maeve Wang's journey with Iambic, a testament to the power of dreaming big, the transformative potential of AI in crafting personal experiences, and the dawn of a new era in footwear, where every step is a reflection of the wearer's unique journey. 00:00 - Introduction to Maeve Wang and Iambic 01:33 - Childhood and Early Inspiration 06:37 - College Experience and Lessons Learned 08:49 - Challenges in a competitive environment 16:02 - Starting Iambic and the Shoe Fit Problem 31:57 - Scaling the Shoe AI and Supply Chain Challenges 41:39 - Transition to a shoe company and designing the shoe 46:05 - Early Success and Limited Edition Launch

time founders ai challenges transition childhood scaling wang recognized sole footwear college experience early success best inventions iambic

[The Blackness.]

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 1:57

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter.

united states america god jesus christ new york death live black world new york city father donald trump peace disney talk water anxiety living speaking dj office boys trauma evolution japanese mind speak holy staying unity eating dead abc bear alive nbc mexican suicide players wake lack manhattan scary ugly daddy id drinking insurance broke panic shit cia michael jackson peru indigenous honestly forgotten wizard fuck sucks losers homeless wtf mcdonalds sold bullies bass i am loud bitch excuse uncle gross lazy psa shut smoking bought make money fat copyright correct lie get out shaq abandoned shut up wealthy keep going cry shot bro davies cc mm whoopi goldberg wasted jimi hendrix new world order minus us government janet jackson jimmy fallon technically green day robbed blackness int ay motorcycle nevermind equinox my god cherokees tie evolved buttons hm duh nothin beaten wax idk stumble kite tina fey whore adderall skrillex oh god bruh hostility oh my god cracker capitalize somethings good one wizardry good old days fucked up beg coughing whatever you want dillon francis ridicule fame game tyla imported obnoxious god is god aww namesake capitalists sadistic what do you want stop asian hate ions bummed raven symone preoccupied executive decision dj dj what the fuck state property rockefeller plaza i made it okay so what do you mean james fallon wayyyyy african black sing it iambic i told you jane jackson to them jimmy falon dj bj themovie dj you

OCS8III.

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 4:12

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] . . . “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

united states america god jesus christ new york death live black world new york city father donald trump peace disney talk water anxiety living speaking dj office boys trauma evolution japanese mind speak holy staying unity eating dead abc bear alive nbc mexican suicide players wake lack manhattan scary ugly daddy id drinking insurance broke panic shit cia michael jackson peru indigenous honestly forgotten wizard fuck sucks losers homeless wtf mcdonalds sold bullies bass i am loud bitch excuse uncle gross lazy psa shut smoking bought make money fat copyright correct lie get out shaq abandoned shut up wealthy keep going cry shot bro davies cc mm whoopi goldberg wasted jimi hendrix new world order minus us government janet jackson jimmy fallon technically green day robbed int ay motorcycle nevermind equinox my god cherokees tie evolved buttons hm duh nothin beaten wax idk stumble kite tina fey whore adderall skrillex oh god bruh hostility oh my god cracker capitalize somethings good one wizardry good old days fucked up beg coughing whatever you want dillon francis ridicule fame game tyla imported obnoxious god is god aww namesake capitalists sadistic what do you want stop asian hate ions bummed raven symone preoccupied executive decision dj dj what the fuck state property rockefeller plaza i made it okay so what do you mean james fallon wayyyyy african black sing it iambic i told you jane jackson to them jimmy falon dj bj themovie dj you

[The Blackness.]

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 2:19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

united states america god jesus christ new york death live black world new york city father donald trump peace disney talk water anxiety living speaking dj office boys trauma evolution japanese mind speak holy staying unity eating dead abc bear alive nbc mexican suicide players wake lack manhattan scary ugly daddy id drinking insurance broke panic shit cia michael jackson peru indigenous honestly forgotten wizard fuck sucks losers homeless wtf mcdonalds sold bullies bass i am loud bitch excuse uncle gross lazy psa shut smoking bought make money fat copyright correct lie get out shaq abandoned shut up wealthy keep going cry shot bro davies cc mm whoopi goldberg wasted jimi hendrix new world order minus us government janet jackson jimmy fallon technically green day robbed blackness int ay motorcycle nevermind equinox my god cherokees tie evolved buttons hm duh nothin beaten wax idk stumble kite tina fey whore adderall skrillex oh god bruh hostility oh my god cracker capitalize somethings good one wizardry good old days fucked up beg coughing whatever you want dillon francis ridicule fame game tyla imported obnoxious god is god aww namesake capitalists sadistic what do you want stop asian hate ions bummed raven symone preoccupied executive decision dj dj what the fuck state property rockefeller plaza i made it okay so what do you mean james fallon wayyyyy african black sing it iambic i told you jane jackson to them jimmy falon dj bj themovie dj you

MINDF*CK.

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 103:42

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] . . . “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

united states america god jesus christ new york death live black world new york city father donald trump peace disney talk water anxiety living speaking dj office boys trauma evolution japanese mind speak holy staying unity eating dead abc bear alive nbc mexican suicide players wake lack manhattan scary ugly daddy id drinking insurance broke panic shit cia michael jackson peru indigenous honestly forgotten wizard fuck sucks losers homeless wtf mcdonalds sold bullies bass i am loud bitch excuse uncle gross lazy psa shut smoking bought make money fat copyright correct lie get out shaq abandoned shut up wealthy keep going cry shot bro davies cc mm whoopi goldberg wasted jimi hendrix new world order minus us government janet jackson jimmy fallon technically green day robbed int ay motorcycle nevermind equinox my god cherokees tie evolved buttons hm duh nothin beaten wax idk stumble kite tina fey whore adderall skrillex oh god bruh hostility oh my god cracker capitalize somethings good one wizardry good old days fucked up beg coughing whatever you want dillon francis ridicule fame game tyla imported obnoxious god is god aww namesake capitalists sadistic what do you want stop asian hate ions bummed mindf raven symone preoccupied executive decision dj dj what the fuck state property rockefeller plaza i made it okay so what do you mean james fallon wayyyyy african black sing it iambic i told you jane jackson to them jimmy falon dj bj themovie dj you

[The Blackness.]

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 9:06

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū. “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter.

united states america god jesus christ new york death live black world new york city father donald trump peace disney talk water anxiety living speaking dj office boys trauma evolution japanese mind speak holy staying unity eating dead abc bear alive nbc mexican suicide players wake lack manhattan scary ugly daddy id drinking insurance broke panic shit cia michael jackson peru indigenous honestly forgotten wizard fuck sucks losers homeless wtf mcdonalds sold bullies bass i am loud bitch excuse uncle gross lazy psa shut smoking bought make money fat copyright correct lie get out shaq abandoned shut up wealthy keep going cry shot bro davies cc mm whoopi goldberg wasted jimi hendrix new world order minus us government janet jackson jimmy fallon technically green day robbed blackness int ay motorcycle nevermind equinox my god cherokees tie evolved buttons hm duh nothin beaten wax idk stumble kite tina fey whore adderall skrillex oh god bruh hostility oh my god cracker capitalize somethings good one wizardry good old days fucked up beg coughing whatever you want dillon francis ridicule fame game tyla imported obnoxious god is god aww namesake capitalists sadistic what do you want stop asian hate ions bummed raven symone preoccupied executive decision dj dj what the fuck state property rockefeller plaza i made it okay so what do you mean james fallon wayyyyy african black sing it iambic i told you jane jackson to them jimmy falon dj bj themovie dj you

MINDF*CK.

ceo fortune lead like iambic

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2024 103:42

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U The Wackness The Blackness You can't escape it. The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order; Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves YOU'RE BLAAAAA—- I get it. Shut up. BLACK. Please be quiet. BLAC shh . B please shut up. I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness Disgusting habits Lack of hygiene Honestly, I don't care what color you are Stop disturbing the peace NO JUSTICE NO– SHUT UP. Listen, I don't want to go through this again. I'm not going to kill myself Not today satan. I have too much to– Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than Make money? MAKE MONEY. Broke ass bitch. You realize, blacks mexicans Immagrants poor whites ugly /fat people that you're all still slaves. that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok” Are the exact people making everything not ok for profit. Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you– well , lets just face it STOLE YOU CAN'T DO THAT. WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY. (and also just *coughing* *toxcity* *grossness* getaway from me.. *coughing* gross . *talking on the phone at 5 am* Mmmmmmmmmhmm SHUT Yo. Where are the indigenous people? Dead. or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift. I MADE IT. I actually hate you. I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door. There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me. But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated; And I was tired of it. They all coughed. They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband. God Help Him (No, Seriously, help him) Because— he tore my son away from me and e verybody in Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized Rural Alaska Assured that i (being a black woman) was the problem. –and you know what? Perhaps I was. WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS. Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere. I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight. He deserves custody. You're crazy. Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life. Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so, Really it's a perfect world, for him. He's a perfect boy. I was told he didn't love me Didn't want me Didn't ask about me And didn't need me. So i left. Well, no– I tried to kill myself first (or did) Whatever Then I left. No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support. It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but: So here I am trying to explain how Yo, look. I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot To push out a 5 minute shit And when I got back Everything was gone. hm. oh , you know what? No, the car was still there. The car was still there. Yeah. That's good. Yeah, I was real lucky for that, cause I lived in it. hm . Lucky for me. AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money Interesting For getting ROBBED. So, here's the thing This: BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy. That. Doing the LEAST. Doesn't even know what clean IS so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again and anybody else who does honestly it's cool, I just feel bad for her, honestly, like ? *gross pedophile wifebeater* You can't just go around calling people pedophiles! You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that Or is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating With a toddler. Yes. that actually happened. No, it didn't. I saw you. Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because– Because the first time he hit me, I covered for him But only I begged him to stay with US THREE OF US a two year old, a one month old And me the wife that was so paralized from depression After learning that her husband The only man she ever truly “loved” had cheated The. entire . time So not only did I waste my time– My body is ruined, and I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF. –not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face. My whatever . fuck this story. What why? Cause it SUCKS. PLUS I'm apparently “Very very bright” Hm And we're at the midsts of an Environmental Crisis *Multiple **Environmental*Crises Just at the tip Of another manipulated global disaster Which has left most the population Lazy and docile enough to not care About anything Anymore I care about my son. I don't care about your stuff; And I didn't take anything from you You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass Grotesque Fuck it. I just don't care I have all my own shit. Honestly, I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit. It wasn't real. They were all actors gangstalkers undercovers CIA agents Welfare Office Workers What? Hey, look, just so you're aware Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies. You are State Property. Bought and Sold for the benefit of The Highest bidder, Who, Never you mind, Is of the highest power In this predicament H O W E V E R I had finally been given an out; An apartment, far away from the Check it out, I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose No, son. Daddy just has issues And mommy has issues And I'm really really sorry about this But you're the most beautiful, Wonderful, Amazing Person I've ever met in my life, Bear(r) And I'm proud to be your FATHER. huh . what. I'm a girl. No. You're not; He's the girl. Bitch ass babymomma . Fuck it, just go be with ___ then. Oh, amazing I love this one. I never cheated I just retreated So I could repeat this: “he cheated! He cheated” “he beat me, he beat me” “I hate him, I hate him” My best friend was Annie My Lover was Davies –doesn't matter these days, though same place Salt Lake Saltair It's been years. You know how, When you're a kid, And you [Get scraped] Oh shit, I missed a – A lot. hm . You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you– Wayyyyy before it was ready? YOu ever like– You get it?? Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be NO Because she was Extremely ignorant, this particular one, and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people a . wouldn't do it. b . aren't equipped Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are —no , i'm not actually THAT racist— just the lowest quality people [LCD] Lowest Common Denomonator She stole my ID. Fucku. So i'm a low quality people. Yep. You suck. Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours. Go, then. Don't follow me. But We're watching you. Someone's always watching me. I'm famous, But not rich And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it. CHILD SUPPORT Before: Literally doesn't answer phone for months. Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression And when I finally DO get in touch; It's because: ACTUAL BEST FRIEND I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him. ME AHAHAH ACTUAL BEST FRIEND AHAHAHA US LOL SKRILLE wait , this is a different story NO, it really fucking ISN'T. SO All my wages are garnshed to pay child support I can't even TALK to my kid and Oh yeah. I was only ever homeless in the first place because This is where it happened: BITCH *throws fake house plant* *RAGE* RURNJRNH *PUNCH to the FACE 1 This cannot be happening *PUNCH TO THE FACE 2* Wow, that really sounds like in the mov– *PUNCH TO THE FACE 3* HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA *literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled* so somewhere between punches 3 and 5 *FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE* And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat. I'm cold. I'm hot Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from LA Alaska, so I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey– America needs corporate slaves so, Welcome. Yo soy triste. Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste! *crying* Dios Mio Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like– Wizard, or like– Wizardry's alright– —Like a fairy– I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen (and more powerful) Some kind of like a KEISHA THE ROADCOP Why's she a road cop? Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when. WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT: (kinda) This hasn't happened in a really long time Staying up all night in ableton, Then only for the day to come To write and think about how I've been fasting again, but not on purpose I've just been so stressed Because all the bodies in my simulation are inhuman , coughing Keigha seemed human Kinda I loved her. I love her. I actually liked that one. By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job; Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push, Things to talk about Topics to discuss But mostly– Buttons to push. Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all, there are thousands of recordings and writings Which indicate “she struggled greatly with mental illness' Or how about I suffer greatly from My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist. I'm eight. She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady And that's super unommon (Even for the fat ones) Fat people can have normal lives!! Not really. That's a lie. BODY POSITIVITY no , you should be ashamed. why . Because ive literally been tormented my ooh , also this I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life, Made to feel lesser than, And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight, But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing. NO. Having a disability and being black are not the same thing. NO. It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to ===== Look, you're looking for equality, right? NO. Why? Because ME is not equal to HER. Why not. I surfer more– –I work harder. Oh, look, by the way, I've finally figured it out that YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?! YOU'RE FAT. WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?! IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this: What is it: It's hamburger helper What's this gonna help? Nothin. THIRD GRADE TEACH She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing. BULLY *passing note* “Losser” SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG. HOW AM I THE LOSER? SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART. *white passing, bilingual 8 year old* [Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was MEXICAN. FIrst season: Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record, oh . Well, yeah; I got fired from my job I couldn't function. Like, at all I could still breastfeed, kind of *ouch* But that's it. I just couldn't… BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier *teacup BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier What about this other thing? Which other thing? Oh, I mean, I'm not racist; I don't care what color you are Or where you come from But act decently -NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day (especially after the things you've said and done to them) And NOBODY Wants to pick up your trash. In fact, If that were my job, I'd have killed myself already bcause Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit. YOU'RE THE DEVIL. YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR. Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet. wtf. This is salad, no dressing. Yep. For like– Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body. See. You can quit heroin. You don't NEED it to survive, Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles Aka You know what? It's not funny anymore Nevermind. When your friends go out for ice cream Ha Or Pizza Lol Lets Get McDonalds. OK, I guess i'll just starve, then. I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then? Which one? Idk. WHere is it. Idk. IT's buries. *buried [buries] Mm. Yummah. WE'll find it. I don't think we're gonna find it Maybe Sonny has it. Damn, fuck that Or maybe Dillon? [Dillon Francis is a very white man] No, but– I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know YOu know what? [Censored] Hey, yeah I don't give a fuck about your shit Like at all But since you want a war And i've been brushing up on all my Office politics and strategies Then I guess since *ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL* stop provoking me, satan Do you think he actually controls demons, or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists And you're being set up to fail A little of both, It's like a roller coaster Minus the plummet Explosions Co– Look, I actually can't write right now, I snapped. What do you mean I just snapped. I can't sleep I also just quit smoking weed. again Well, why'd you start Literally everyone around me for the last Who fucking knows how long but– Every single body around me starts *coughing* So maybe i must be the toxin This whole world just smells like poison Why are you trying to sterilize me. JOIN THE MILIT NO. No guns. What. PEACE. Beg your pardon. NO, NOW i'M BEGGING, ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE It's me again Get away from me you creepy ass nigga hey , it's me again stop being around. Out of sight, out of mind. You know, I was almost, almost dead Right So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me. You're everything that's wrong with the world. Apparently, yeah so i tried to change that And by the time i do I'm obsolete TYLA, EVERYBODY! The me that everyone loved. The me that was perfect The me with Whatever she had to make her look like that (Water, btw. ) No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink. What. *dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink* yeah , drink that. IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN AND DON'T FORGET I'M BETTER THAN YOU CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS (Anymore) Because the homeless system in itself is like a big , bleeding, gaping wound of systemic racism Within itself WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?! It goes back into OUR econ NO, iT DON'T. Half of it goes to INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY. What up DJ!? I fucking quit. Trying to get a job as a DJ: WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING. They're not gonna follow me, Because I wear clothes in my photos And don't sell ass YOU DON'T SELL ASS no I'd consider it. Why? Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so UGLY Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly” Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat. Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty Or skin tone, To me It's a vibe. Woah. Cool colors. Woah. What happened to Skrillex? He died, i think, er like Evolved, or something Another Grammy *instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to* It's lonely at the top. I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born. You're not being punished! That's in your MIND! PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/ PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD BEFORE: Torture– –Ridicule– -Trauma– Abuse NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. YOu know why? CAuse they have the same problems. We're all the same person except for Skrillex, The US Government, A couple of aliens Whatever those to things are Those guys over these Wtf. I thought everything is everything. NO, it's needs to split. What do you mean EVERYTHING IS NOTHING Oh. There's Jimmy Fallon. FUCK! Now I gotta exp no , i don't. I'm just gonna make music which , Doesn't really make me enough money But it's okay. I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs My employee number is my name My coworkers are all weird, and dumb and I work harder than everybody else But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers You have to go with the flow of traffic. NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT. NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT. That's ok. I'm an omnivore No, it's not, Because The animal you're eating is a herbivore He or “it “ You gotta castrate them but he NOT FOOD FOOD COW Mo..00oo? .. yeah , i don't know. Well, what about you SKELOCHICKEN *FLl**dies* hm. CHINA MORE HORMONES TO POI– I MEAN NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE? AMERICA YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION. CHINA Ok. AMERICA THANKS CHINA Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people. AMERICA You can do that? STOP ASIAN HATE. *cough* *robotic* *nothin* I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking. Wtf are they doing with the asians STOP ASIAN – Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why *HOSTILITY* ok , this is weird. CHINA Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded. AMERICA *hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting* lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK …really? Yeah. Wow. ok. I feel a lot That'll be $88.50 *sighs* ….ok. *pays* …per pill. That's my whole– It's okay! It's not okay… Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay *huffs* Ok IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE! It's ONLY a $100 copay! What. EVERY 30 DAYS. $100 Cause we need you to not be okay Why RICH ASSHOLE So i can be extremely ok. [beat[ …. *sighs* *finds a penny* I'll take that too. *....* what ? I tried.. Alright, I gotta tie this up. TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! I put all your shit in the trash. Tie me up. Okay, I like you But I lie good And i'm tired With my eyes on I got IONS on my filers I got no mail For the iron I'm so tired But man, I've learned that Sometimes, man Well, Just– Live hurts and if I swerve And i die first Cause this mind curse Is my worst hurt but , no That's untrue I got no son I got no phone. Got no baby momma, but my Fire's lighting up an oven For my bun, or muffin I'm bluffin, I'm stuffed but God, I love these cumsluts. [( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )] Well, why not? Honestly, hon, If i'm the mom in that one Stumble upon this podcast on stumble upon or tumblr, Then i'm numb, Bummed out for certain the songs and curses, verses make more sense than anything (and i mean anything and everything Inside this simulation since HILARY! NO, DONALD TRUMP. –but the conundrum comin up under A microscope such as this: My husband's a public figure And this girl keeps saying *nigger* Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger –so this ring around my finger, Shall protect us from this singer, God help her– I hope my son never reads this… But Jim, The Executive Decision has been made! She's insane! Crazy! Abandoned her own baby for fame; adjacently; The Fame Game was made to be played by Players and families [The Wealthy and Super Elite] Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just– *splits* *scratches humungous crotchel* Uh… Yeah, Ok. No. So is this like a PSA on mental illness? Idk. did i survive this? Suicide. God, why do i Did I write this? I might have Something like it But i died again I've been inside my mind, I lied again I have no one to confide to cause Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically * racism * &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& * deception *manipulation *dishonestly *mistrust I'm 8, My third grade teacher is just WAITING for me to fuck up Speak out of turn One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row Everyone but me Didn't explain it, nothing. Just “This row wins!” (Except for Cree) And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just. –and we're all 8, so lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today, While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why, Something i've always found so pretty I don't hate white women. All of my best friends (almost) Have been white girls Which is how I know *she doesn't know what she wants* blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light. I … ok, go on. So it's not like, they're evil for it White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve –Evolution is a group effort. So yeah, S Fuck it The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist (there's enough food in the world, guys.) –MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH. SUPACREE That's why you're trying to make me CRY? They're psychic tears! BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM. HEAVEN. Literally. Nowhere you can see or ever reach because DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY. Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because well , apparently all the people –all the people– the big ones, the little ones, The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys –are still going to keep making more peopl e Somethings will never change. Boys will be boys. My ex husband may not actually be satan himself; You know, cause satan can't stay in one place SATAN ISN'T REAL Ok. Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life YES EVIL EXISTS. IT ALWAYS HAS. It's not in your head! You're not okay! You were brought here, Amost entirely with the purpose Of servitude (most of us) Living beneath some of those who have never known The pain of poverty the grief of homelessness The cruelty of racism REVERSE RACISM IS REAL. OH REAALLY?????!! NIGGER. CRACKER. Which one do you want to eat? Neither, honestly, I'd just- Oh my God, he's up! Like a glass of Oh My God! My God! He's Alive! TYLA I got it! JIMMY FALLON Water. Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma. IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon? I'm assuming it's not his Could actually be– Babymama. hm . …Unless it was. Into a coma?! “Why Women Kill” Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent. At this point ________LINES ____________________- BEING _______ ___________CROSSSS ok , i fuked skrilex. I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU. See, look this is not It's not Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just– Need it. SKRILLEx/SONNY …I beg your pardon? SUPACREE Please, don't beg… SKRILLEX *face* SUPACREE I mean– SKRILLEX *squints* Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know! “I don't know” SKRILLEX So wait, you're a fan. [Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–] (or unconsciousness) Oh! That's MY coma! Nice! Damn. Wtf. [--like in real time–or, like, was, before I got distracted thinking about Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do. [INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE] Well, perhaps this is one of them. Holy shit, I'm acid. What. How did that happen so fast it's only been like What? Well, how long's it been? I don't know, now well, where'd she go. It's Over. What? It's gone. Just let me go ok . Just let me go. ok . Just let me go. What if I just JUMP UP NO. Don't do that. The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin. “Jimmathin”!” What, you wanted KING JAMES Fine, I'll write it. What. What is this. This is just like Woah [Art] Wow. Yeah. There's a lot. A R T JIMMY FALLON is a Are we going this? How else am i supposed to explain “ I L L U M I N A T I Look I'm you. ok . You're me. alright. [Young Gods] Wrking title Didn't they aready do this– Or something like this? Yes, but I wrote it first. TV Come and Get it! RAP WORLD UNH YOu'RE A LOSER UNH IMA NIGGA SO WHAT UHHHH Shut up, drake UNNNNHHH I'm gonna call you up UN That's enough OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR That's it. You're done. WASTED. YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS WHITE GIRLS MOLLY, ROCK WHITE GIRL, WHITE GIRLS CHINESE EYES I LIKE HER THIGHS Sunni, shut up In UNISON Sep: I MADE IT! EARLIER: SEP, FROM UNISON Gimmie a dollar. ….okay, but I only have one dollar. Jimmy Fallon ILLUMINATI Please explain this. JAMES FALLON is a simple man. IS HIS NAME JAMES?! I don't know, but who names their kid JIMI Oh, no, that's like, Like you know, JImi Hendrix aww , i loved that baby… I love babies. I love her. aw . this is WRAP IT UP This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got T R A U M A (D) Whait, where's Dillon Francis?! Who the fuck cares. Wake up. For waht. I gotta get waisted. You mean *wasted* Shut up. Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like Together? DJ* Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ [DJ the DJ] [BJ the DJ] ok , that was also, like, first season YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta. I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick. What. I'm Rick. No, no you're RICK SANCHEZ IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ. well la-teee– UNITY You forgot about me, didnt you? UNITY!? That's why everyone is assimilated. Damn, you're really good a dissociating? Would you rather I not be? CUT BACK TO: Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the World. Right. The broken, forgotten women that. Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP. She went back to him NOOOOO (but like, that was me) Whatever. If you don't have kids, run! Fuck it, if you have kids, run just run at night and do it Quickly Just get out. Quietly Shhh. Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around? What? Huh *still fucked up* You're high right now? No, i”m not high I mean I Am I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP. What are you saying? What i'm saying is; I would get high on anything else but life right now why Cause i wanna die so die i can't why otta solve this what . Why i can't die. You WHAT?! I CAN'T DIE! US GOVT It's true! We tried like three times already. This can never lead back to us Did they give you a script!? Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about. So you want me to drink water out of this *basically a toilet* Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a WHORE. What. She was a whore. I kind of figured. Why? By the way the toilet smelled when she used it *sniffs* ok. This is everybody. This is a lot of everybody. This is everybody, But then everybody left, Then more people came And everybody came back. This is everybody. This is too many *blacks* WHAT?! Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment Cause even god knows Sadistic white supremacists love watching Everybody else kill each other over Things they already have. WHITE SUPRMACISTS Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox. (it is, in fact, those guys) Wait. did i never finish my story about so what was the whole thing about BODY SHAMING IS WRONG. Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but *coughs* What? Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness? Cause it's in your head? SYNETHESIA No, this shit it *Skrill Fuck it P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL Whats wrong with him I don't kno w please eat, would you. lol . no. How long is this fast [LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN] *stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears* ow . *coughs* ok , ow. *coughing* Ok, ow. What if, that gross, Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just JIMMY FALLON. STOP FOLLOWING ME. YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE. PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN. What? God's not in heaven right now!!! SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE? GONE. GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD. MARK LUKE JOhN PETER ….ok, this is getting strange. KING JAMES Finally, Jesus. Well, when does Jesus get here, then. Later. LATER: Can I go now? No What did you say was the Do you even read what you post sometimes? No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists What, really? Yes. So by the time you're reading this. It may have been years. Oh shit, this show's still on. Yeah. That's fucking nuts. Yeah. This shit gets craaaaazzy. my fans Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about [PASSWORD] You want me to kill myself? *indifference* WHAT DO YOU WANT … ….. …… Why? Why WHAT? Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?! Technically, I am! What? This is a homeless shelter! Yes, obviously, however: Go on. Everyone here is sad. Correct. Everyone here is broken. Yes. Everyone here has been hurt– probably Beaten– Yes, Some of us Reviled. YO. Thisfuckedup. I gotta get out of here. Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything– But you don't even get to see your kid? And when you do it's on his terms, Because of nepotism And the assumption that as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship, It must have been you that fucked up So much so That you deserve that And no matter what you do is wrong How was I wrong?! Your pussy stinks. That's it? Yep. You have mental problems. But my pussy clean. *shrugs* Anyway. Maybe I should be meditating I am META - TATING. Duh. INDIGEIDIOTS AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE. SHAQ AHAH Not right ow dude. SHAQ Why not me?! Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you. SHAQ I am picking you up now. no , no, shaquille o'neal yes , actually– wait , what's your name again S U P A C R E E n..o… YES. THERE SHE IS WHERE IS SKRILEX SHAQ UP. Why does he sound so dumb? Cause he's BIG. So that means he' dumb? NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless, Pasqualle PASQUALE ON THE BEACH Why is it– BECAUSE [PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.] PASQUALE No. AWW, COME ON. PASQUALLE NO, SUPA U Who is that? ! PASQUALE SHUT UP. Woah, okay, ouch. PASQUALE You just said ***** 147 times. NO. but NO. U. What BE U. (lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the When is this Forever Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror. BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently*** Wow, your eyes are really pretty MEANWHILE [DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.] oh, you again. ohFUCK. [But his eys are really pretty] *glamour* Damn. Wow. She has a baby! wait , WHAT. CUT TO: Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?! YES. WHEN?! [NOW) WHENEVER. DAMN. [BEAT] WIBEATER You rang? NO. Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku. Whatthefuckishappeningritenow. I GOTTA GO. JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON. The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances C'ESME'T KATEY SAGAL Are we back to me yet? In a minute. Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings. I guess. (I am their feelings) It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™] Why. Excuse me. Why would anybody do that, When for the last [However] 15 Minutes RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE Your 15 minutes is up. That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter. Which is where you deserve to be. Huh. For being born. Excuse me? Everything you've ever done. *breath, walk talk* Is wrong (I Am.) HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO I might let go. DON'T. Lol This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon. I hate this guy. What is he?! Japanese! (Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is) T H E W I N D IIIIIII Please don't cry SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS plase dont Nono Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn V.O. Poor Little Jimmy Fallon… W I N DS FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE. No. no, you are not Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me” No, Jimmy Fallon James Shut up– It's the KITE DIRECTOR That's the line! Got it? And if you break fourth wall, When we're live, or just– ever again, WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure. Namesake police talkin bout: If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson, God rest his soul, which reminds me, After this scene, put the one with [The Soul Kitchen] I'M A MAN! T H E W I N D AAAAAAAAAAA– *sniffles* oh , maybe not. hm. JIMMY FALLON *sigh of– T H E W I N D SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! KITE: BLOOP. x_x DEATH. NO SHAQ! Put me down! SHAQ You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE. SUPACREE No, you don't mean– SHAQ We WILL drop the bass. SUPACREE Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman! SHAQ *purses* SUPACREE I am NOT a tiny person. SHAQ I know: I'm married to one. SUPACREE I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy SHAQ DUBSTEP. SUPACREE NO, NO DUBSTEP SHAQ DUBSTEP.b SUPACREE OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE SHAQ Maybe a little rap SUPACREE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Andy Sandbourg. Uh, ok, wait, whose THE LONELY ISLAND WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?! (When will the bass drop?) –When will the bass drop OH. That's why that island is lonely. YES. DO. NOT. UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES Ok DROP THIS BASS. Ok. I”ll be right back. Ok. [beat] [another beat] [some tension] [space] [more tension] [The lights cut CUT TO: JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window. … You are not Dillon Francis FIGHT Wait, fight w– JANE JACKSON Alright you! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? lol ‘Jane Jackson?' You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project. IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES. (t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .) LIE what . LEARN HOW TO LIE. Excuse me? or , hey, listen: You can tell the truth, but at least be funny. This is funny. *homelessness* *niggers* STOP SAYING THAT. Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause Cause we're all capitalists. Capitalists. People that believe in money. Oh. AS GOD. oh . YOu have none. oh . YOU are the devil ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE. What. GET OUT. What We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in ME MAKING MONEY Ok, fine, so like I just was saying. JANET JACKSON WHERE'S MY BROTHER?! WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW! [I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping– Who is this Is whooping this other character's ass right now. Wait, Whoopi. Fuck. You saw it. Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg! WhattheFUCK. But you're als Janet Jackson! I Am. WHY?! Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright EARLIER: CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE SAY UNCLE NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON SAY UNCLE Control, Janet Jackson Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?! it's! SAYUNCLE UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH– JANET JACKSON SAY UNCLE JUNGLE OH SHIT. Hold up. Okay, real quick. Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle DANE COOK WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT. IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN. DANE COOK OK. But i'm gonna make you forget about it For like a really long time Ok Until you forget who I am at all. Alright. Many, many lifetimes. Go on. Until I find you again. And you WILL. And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT I am SO not-famous I have almost been FORGOTTEN. Forgotten at FORGOTTEN AT ALL! And I will not AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME. ok . …ok. So. So…. kite. kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA ||||||| UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE JANET JACKSON NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5! WHAT?! SING IT. UNCLE. UNCLE!!! I WANNA HEAR A SONG. Damn, Janet Jackson still got it. WHOOPI GOLDBERG What gave me away? Your left hook. Still got it. I know. Even in the wrong body, now look. If I'm not Michael Jackson Could never be Neither could you O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 lol she's not gonna do this movie. She might. she's friendly. besides. ABC… KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE! THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC! Do you think we're at a feature yet? Notquite Why, how oong's a feature?! Till it isn't. Right., so Look, obese americans I know its hard to face the facts– Or anything at all, because, you know “I'm going to start eating right– ….later” and nobody's judging you at all, actually because. That was me. (Is still me) When i'm eating food , which was my Adderall. What. You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it. Yeah I know. Because you're black. Maybe that's not why. What do you mean. Maybe that's not why. Maybe when Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues, I would cry and cry when my dad would leave. It's probably for the best that I stay away, I'm a psycho now. I might killl you. I would like that because I just can't seem to. CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT! HOW? SELL YOUR ASS. WHAT? No that's (Only Fans) What. Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else. How come. Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex; Or whoever he sits with. [TINA FEY Is a whatever. ] What does this mean I don't know. By the way, nothing's making me “do this” It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit, I don't know. My pain unlocked all my colors, and well. KITE. ____________________________________________________________________KE$HA Now I'm God. Wait, How long's a feature? OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE. OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH 30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK. So dumb the state has the same name as the city I kno So dumb Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like “The Good Old Days” I swear I'm about to stop Don't stop. SAY, IS THAT A wait , i think i feel a song coming on Oh yeah, i hear it… Something like Fuck How to tell an obstacle From a crossword, Or draw slung crosses on awkward Wax polished silver scratched ponds On the surface or Then it all starts picking up When i turn on my pic or sing, I turn to write and this Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out Cause the man who rides it Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories No only fans models Just hot soft porn And he's so far from a microphone –but far at all Cause i started to talk, then The car alarms going off all i got a words, really The music is gone A couple albums coming, The old stuff I made on my long journey being homeless with no son Long sauna jaunts (and I mean) Sometimes from Sunday to Monday And monday would have come and then gone, Before I could come home Cause there wasn't one Only a sauna, at my job Well, one of them The other's across town and, I might just make it in time (i won't though) I spent my first check on a bike (my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm Homeless; Nevermind, She knows this, She's just Preoccupied with THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. That's a person, not a thing. No, you made yourself a thing THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away– I'm a man. –The world's yours. You are not my kid. I get that. It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen Oh shit, this is fucking IT. This is theMOVIE. DILLON FRANCIS GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT. ST. JIMMY Oh, shit. I better run. Wait, Greenday is in this?! Everybody's in this IAMBIC!!!! (it's a rock opera) Yeah God. Speaking of THE ROCK DWAYNE JOHNSON YOOOOOOOOO. Wtf. Whatthefuck. WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK. CUT TO BLACK: [The Festival Project ™] . . . “” AFTER DA CREDITZ LOL WHAT CREDITS, I'm streaming this EDITORS OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS. these are insanely creative credits. TINA FEY (But way less cute) What color is that, What is what Your hair now Is it like MELISSA MCCARTHY clover…. “It's Honeydew Blondi What “Honeydew Blondike” *blonde-like, but Holly. Which one?! Honeydew Blondish. Well it's weird. You're fucking weird. Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey *unruly, wild shit* Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy. LIZ!!! GET BACK HERE. Uh. HOLLY ROBINSON PETE No, officer Hanson Detective You were demoted. I wasn't demoted. You know what. I was SHOT, CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving CAST MEMBER Look, what character am I supposed to be. lol WHATEVER YOU WANT what would you call this? Your “sexy” passenger? No, Dexter… Or, is it MICHAEL C. HALL I don't know. I think that's for you to decide No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes— It doesn't … Zzz Wait, what happened. skrillex left the chat. Hm. I wonder where he went. THE B- SIDE FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION? THE WHOLE THING IS “THE BEYONCÉ PART” Because GOD BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *Beyonce, being Skrillex* [expletive] Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee —————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé matter. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -Ū.

united states america god jesus christ new york death live black world new york city father donald trump peace disney talk water anxiety living speaking dj office boys trauma evolution japanese mind speak holy staying unity eating dead abc bear alive nbc mexican suicide players wake lack manhattan scary ugly daddy id drinking insurance broke panic shit cia michael jackson peru indigenous honestly forgotten wizard fuck sucks losers homeless wtf mcdonalds sold bullies bass i am loud bitch excuse uncle gross lazy psa shut smoking bought make money fat copyright correct lie get out shaq abandoned shut up wealthy keep going cry shot bro davies cc mm whoopi goldberg wasted jimi hendrix new world order minus us government janet jackson jimmy fallon technically green day robbed int ay motorcycle nevermind equinox my god cherokees tie evolved buttons hm duh nothin beaten wax idk stumble kite tina fey whore adderall skrillex oh god bruh hostility oh my god cracker capitalize somethings good one wizardry good old days fucked up beg coughing whatever you want dillon francis ridicule fame game tyla imported obnoxious god is god aww namesake capitalists sadistic what do you want stop asian hate ions bummed mindf raven symone preoccupied executive decision dj dj what the fuck state property rockefeller plaza i made it okay so what do you mean james fallon wayyyyy african black sing it iambic i told you jane jackson to them jimmy falon dj bj themovie dj you

Ep122: The Fusion of Innovation and the Natural World

Welcome to Cloudlandia

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2024 56:39

In today's episode of Welcome to Cloudlandia, we reflect on serenity in nature and technology, drawing parallels between Cloudlandia and meticulously raked sand. Woven into our talk is AI and how it's changing everything, from Evan's course helping us out at work to all the crazy experiments shaking things up. We get into how innovation unexpectedly boosted my creativity, which we're calling "exponential tinkering". As our annual event nears, lessons in "exponential thinking" add to the anticipation of a reunited community and potential for growth. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS Dean and I explore the serenity of Cloudlandia and how it parallels the peacefulness found in Japanese Zen gardens, reflecting on the role of imagination in experiencing digital spaces. We discuss the success of Evan Ryan's AI course within our company and how it has encouraged experiments with AI across different teams. Dean introduces the concept of "exponential tinkering," highlighting how AI is revolutionizing the arts and content creation, with a nod to OpenAI's Sora tool. We contemplate the cultural shift toward immersive experiences like VR, while expressing skepticism about their long-term utility and appeal. Dan recognizes the importance of integrating existing consumer experiences to create innovative products, using Apple as an example. We highlight insights from Mark Mills' book "The Cloud Revolution" on the strategic importance of reshoring supply chains and repurposing shopping centers into logistics hubs. We compare Tesla's success to the sustainability challenges faced by other electric vehicle companies that are more dependent on government subsidies. We share anecdotes about the Soviet-era's illusion of luxury, and how modern-day explorers uncover the true state of Soviet infrastructure. We examine the declining enthusiasm for venture capital in the tech world and the concept of "cruel optimism" that can be prevalent in this sector. Excitement is expressed for our upcoming annual event, stressing the value of 'exponential thinking' and the potential growth of our community. Links: WelcomeToCloudlandia.com StrategicCoach.com DeanJackson.com ListingAgentLifestyle.com TRANSCRIPT (AI transcript provided as supporting material and may contain errors) Dean: Mr Sullivan how are you, mr Jackson? Dan: Well, welcome to Cloudlandia. I'm sitting out in my courtyard and it's a little bit of a cold, rainy morning. I don't know if you can hear the rain gently falling in the courtyard. It's relaxing. Dean: Do you have an? Dan: umbrella over your head. No, I'm in a. I have a covered, a covered area here that I'm sitting at about. I don't know what you call it, like a lamina or a loja, I don't know how it is, but it's a covered underroof thing, that's attached to my courtyard. Dean: What you're saying is that there's something between you and this guy. That's exactly it. Dan: I'm not getting rained on, I'm under covered, as they say. Dean: Yeah, well, it's sort of a poignant, almost like a Japanese. Stay right, yeah, this almost feels like a Japanese Zen garden. Dan: here I hear the like the little the water coming off the roof of a tile roof, so that it's very Japanese Zen actually, because the there's a spout that drains the water down into a drain. Yeah, so nice. Dean: Yeah, it's very interesting. When I was a teenager I sort of fell in love with Japanese culture. This would be early 60s, late 50s, early 60s and you know I read the literature, I looked at the artwork. I was interested in their architecture, their history, and then in my military. I was drafted into the US military and got sent to South Korea. And I'm an R and R. Rest and relaxation, that's what they called it. Dan: R and R I went to Japan. Dean: I went to twice, oh nice. And my memory is of being in the mountains, at a place where they really didn't speak English I don't know even now if they you know, having Americans who was part of their experience, but it was perfectly understandable. I mean, the hospitality was so great. But I can remember being in one of these little rooms where they had. They had sliding doors that would open up and you could see the mountain, you could see the water. And I remember it raining, but I was warm and I had tea. And I was sitting there and it sort of corresponded to what my teenage visions had been. I always remember that. Dan: That's great. I love it when stuff like that happens. Well, this would definitely be the kind of day that would be conducive to tea. Dean: And sitting out here. Dan: It was kind of a Zen garden that I have in the courtyard, so it's nice. Dean: Yeah, yeah. Speaking of Zen, there's a lot about the jump from the mainland to Cloudlandia that has a Zen-like quality to it, tell me more, tell me more, especially now with the. A lot about it, well, a lot about it. You have to imagine, in other words, that you only get as far in Cloudlandia as your imagination will go. I'm really seeing this. I'm kind of being a creative collaborator with Evan Ryan, still in his 20s, but he's been investigating artificial intelligence for the last 10 years, so he's well into it. So basically his adult life has been and he's got a very thriving business and he's got clients from all over the planet. But he wrote one book which was superb. It was called AI as your teammate and he put it together into a six-module coaching course for companies and our entire company went through that. Dan: Oh, wow. Dean: So it's six to our modules and just to the main. Purpose is just to get people over the hump that this is any scarier than any technology that they've already mastered. It's just a new technology. And it did wonders. It did wonders and I can see the last module was probably four months ago and I can see the investigations and the experiments that are going on across the company, each person sort of focusing on something different. And then Evan is writing a new book and I just shared an idea with him and maybe it be a topic that we would discuss today. But I said, there's all sorts of predictions being made by people about where AI is going and where it's going to take us, and both exciting and scary. The predictions are both exciting and scary and what I realized that all these predictions, no matter how expert the person tried to present themselves, was just one person's prediction. And more or less their prediction for everybody else was simply what they wanted to do for themselves, Right. Dan: Yeah. Dean: And I think Mark Zuckerberg and there's all sorts of people the big tech people and government people and everything, corporate people and I say you're trying to make this a prediction for the world, but it's only probably a prediction for you that this is the direction and what I realized is that there's an exponential breakthrough with AI and it's in the area of tinkering, which is a neat word, yes, Tinkering. So Evan and I talked about it and he's going to. You know, he's developing the idea as exponential tinkering. Dan: And I really like it. Oh, I like that. Dean: That's a good yeah, what a nice combination of words, because, there are kind of two words that are jarring when you put them together, that's very good. Dan: I like that a lot. Dean: Yeah, so what are you tinkering? Dan: with. So I'm tinkering with a couple of things right now and deep into the. Are you talking about technology things? Dean: No, yeah. Well, technology, or specifically AI, are you tinkering at all with it, seeing what it can do? Dan: I'm starting now to. Did you see the latest thing a couple of days ago? The release of Sora, the video creation tool. Now, that was OpenAI did that right. OpenAI has just I think it's only very limitally open to their top tier, you know, data users or whatever, but the demo reels of it you know, showing what it's capable of, and I mean it's certainly you see now where that's the final piece of the puzzle here, like two things have happened in the last 30 days that have really kind of cement where I see this going. I've been predicting here that 20, that you know, almost like the big change 1975 to 2025 will kind of look and the you know all these exponential improvements reaching the top of the asymptotic curve that there's You're using big words. Dean: Yes, so Asymptotic, asymptotic. I think that deserves a subhead for our listeners. Dan: Okay, Well, asyn, in math when you do exponential, it's exponentially increases, increases, and then it reaches a point where it's just marginally like improving slightly. You know, like there's not really the exponential leap, for instance, of going from. If we just take text, we've gone from, you know, writing it on papyrus or having people hand write stuff. Dean: Chiseled as on. Chiseled as in play. Dan: Whatever. And then Gutenberg was an exponential leap in that, but it got better in terms of when we were able to, you know, create digital photocopy and things like that, and we got to the text file where you could digitize text and that became a PDF. And now so everything you know, the functional like improvement in text, has really reached the top of. There's nowhere really to go from everything ever written available instantly on any device you have. And that same thing has been over the last 25 years, kind of cascading series of those with increasing complexity of them, right? I think it's not. That's the easiest thing to fully digitize is text. And then pictures were the next thing, that you could digitize pictures so we can transfer images, then moving pictures right? Audio, sorry, was next after text, audio images or images, videos. Now we're at the point where you know every piece of media video, audio, text or images is completely digitized. It's available on any device at any time you want it. And this next piece that's falling into place is the ability to generatively create, from description, images and videos that you can describe. And so when you take this Sora, and you take Dali and you take the all the things that are converging with the, with the AI, and we'll give them another two year runway, which would even sort of double their time that they've been in our world Mainstream they'll be fully cemented into the mainstream use. And then you look at what's happening with the release of Apple's new Air Pro goggles, or whatever they're calling them. Dean: Vision Pro. Dan: Vision Pro. Dean: And that is. You know everybody who's going to use any of this. Dan: Exponential tinkerers. Dean: Yeah, but that somebody who's doing it tinkerers. Tinkerers is just someone who's doing it for their own purposes. You know they're not trying to create something for anybody else, they're just for example, I gave you the example that I've had a real interest in. You know, I wrote a new book and I had. I was writing a new book and I had one chapter finished and it was how we put our company together, and the chapter was unique ability teamwork. That, basically, a fundamental difference between coach team members and other team members is that we everybody operates according to their own unique ability within unique ability teams. Okay, so that's that, but I've always had a fascination with Shakespeare. You know he's one of my five. Dan: Yes. Dean: You know, five lifetime role models Shakespeare, because he was not only a great poet, a great playwright, a great you know creator of, you know, creator of plays, but he was also a tremendous entrepreneur and he, you know, he created the first company that was self-sustainable and he created a new theater and everything else. So he was very entrepreneurial and seems to have made a pile through theater. And anyway, but I was always fascinated with the language form that was operating in London in the late 1500s and 1600s. So Shakespeare is 1560, 1560, 1660 years and it was called iambic pentameter and it was a structure where there's only 10 syllables per line. You get to the 10th syllable and then you go to a new line, and so I had one of my team members actually go to AI, go to chat GPT and say we would like to translate Dan's copy into iambic pentameter and it was back in 24 hours. Dan: You know came back and I was just fascinated. Dean: I was just fascinated with it because I thought differently about my own thoughts when I saw them come back in a different language form. In English but about a different structure. So I was sitting there, I was reading it and I gave it to some of our team and I said what do you think about this? And they said, wow, I get totally new thoughts from reading it. It's, you know, the basic ideas, but they're in a different language form. And I said now what I'd like to do is I hear it like it here. It's spoken, you know, by someone who was really great with Shakespeare's language. So it was a very famous actor who we have their recordings of, and so we open my team member, Alex Barley, who is British you know. So he's from the UK, so he has a feel for this type of language and he has a feel for theater. And then he worked with Mike Canig's, great friend of ours and. Mike. Mike gave him two or three other AI programs that he could take a look at and about four days later I get this wonderfully eloquent reading of a whole chapter in Iambic content and I listen to it every week. I listen to it every week and it does things for my thinking. Okay, and I've shown it to a few people. This is a you know. A number of people have listened to it and they're all say, wow, that's amazing. Dan: You did that. Dean: Why'd you do that? Why'd you do that? Dan: Why'd you do? Dean: that Just tinkering? I was just tinkering and I just. I kind of said you know, if I put this together with this and maybe put the two of them together with this, I wonder what it sounds like. And I have no intention of, I have no intention of going any further with it, but it really serves a purpose, that it really influences my own thinking and I've noticed that my writing has changed as a result of listening to this for three or four, three or four months, you know, I just I just get a different take on my own ideas. Dan: And. Dean: I call that tinkering, I just call that tinkering. Dan: I like that. Dean: And I believe that with AI, what you have, there was always tinkering in the technology world, but I think what AI does, it makes, it allows tinkering to be exponential. Dan: That's interesting. So there's, I'd say, yeah, you're, there's an artistry to it in a way. Dean: You know, in that there's, it's kind of like doing something for your own pleasure for your own yeah, and your own enhancements you know you see, you see an extension of a capability that you already have, but you can see new dimensions of the capability that you already have and that in itself is the reward, that in itself. And people say well, are you going to? You know, I tell people and they say oh, so are you going to actually produce this? And you know, you know like we produce our books. And I said no, I'm just doing it for my own reasons. Dan: I just like the feel of this. I just like the feel you know and. Dean: I do not think I'm unique in this experience. I think there's a hundred million people doing the same thing with something that kind of fascinates them. Dan: And I wonder if that's the artistic expression gene or something. I mean, that's our internal desire to chase our whims. Dean: You know, in a way, yeah, that's one of the great joys of the the reason I'm saying this is that we're always making the predictions about who the giant tech giant is that's going to dominate this and I said one I don't see it emerging. I think all of them are scrambling like mad so that they don't get left behind. But I don't think the idea of tinkering really exists in that world. You know quarterly stock prices, investments that's what they're looking for, you know, and everything else, but I don't see the dominant player, even. You know, even open. Ai is the dominant player. Dan: Have you had some experience? Have you tried the vision pros yet? Dean: No, I don't like goggles. Dan: I don't need. I mean I'm not inclined either. Dean: They're anti social. Dan: I wonder you know it's going to be. I know there'll be a lot of people at Free Zone next week that have them that are, so we'll get a chance to try that for sure. But I know my kenix has it. Dean: I know Leo as his one of the things that I always look at their past stage right now, but it'd be interesting checking their lives down six months from now whether they're actually using them. Dan: That's what I'm curious about, right Like it's so. Dean: I don't need to be first in with anything. Dan: Right, exactly, yeah, yeah, I think that this chasm it's getting, you know, I think it's getting wider and wider, this that there's even now, nuances of going deeper into Cloudlandia, because I think that's like immersively diving into Cloudlandia and I think that there's. Nick Nanton just posted a thing about some big movie director who was tweeted about. You know, just spent the day editing this is a feature movie, mainstream movie director saying you just spent the day editing in the Vision Pros with, in collaboration with his editor, on a big screen. They are theatrical, like movie screen size and just fascinated. He said. Dean: you know, no headache, no anything so I don't know, yeah well, where I think and I felt five, ten years, well, let's say five years ago when people were talking about visual reality, okay. Dan: Yes. Dean: And Peter Diamonis had a lot of proponents of this at Abundance 360 and I was sitting there and I said first of all, every everything that I've seen I find boring and the reason? because what you're seeing is the creation of one brain, and if it's not an interesting brain to begin with, the result of their creation of a VR program is exponentially less interesting. Okay, and what actual reality is good? You know, I look out in my yard and you have the same opportunity there. I look at them and I've got these seven giant oak trees in their yard, I mean they're a hundred, and ten hundred foot oak trees, and the reason I love those trees so much is nobody created them. There was no intention for this to happen. It was just a lucky acorn. Dan: Right the result of it. Dean: I mean they produce thousands, millions of acorns in our yard and it's just squirrel food you know, and and it's the nonintentionality that interests me, it's not the somebody's intention, okay, and one person's story really doesn't interest me for the first time if it doesn't include a lot of other people's stories you know, in other words. You're putting that together, so I don't know. I mean, I think there's a fundamental obstacle to all technological breakthroughs, and it's called human nature. Dan: Yeah, this is where that's. What I wonder, is the goggles? Them sound like it. Just it feels like, wow, this is a you know, unless we're at a point where I think the improvement of the vision pros is that you can actually see out of them. Dean: Well, you can see out of them and it's got the thing that I think is really going to make a difference, and that's all augmented reality. Yes, exactly In other words, you're looking at a real thing. Yeah, there are useful pictures, useful data, useful messages on it, and there's useful capabilities, in other words, there's like email and, I'm sure, the design. You know design tools and everything that you can do and that, I believe, is good, but it'll only, it'll take hold where the use of this speeds up an economic process that already makes money. But you can speed up an economic process. Dan: I'm seeing that, if everything is, you know, being shaped to drive us deeper into this cloudlandia existence here, that everything's happening in the goggles, that I was just had coffee with Stuart, my operations guy, and we were saying how it seems like there's a trend towards you know, I have you ever heard the term hostile design for architecture where the Starbucks one of the Starbucks here in Winter Haven just went under when it's 10 year renovation and they completely turned it into like a basket robin's? where it's all the character of you know a basket robin's. There's no sense of that third place kind of you know origin that Starbucks started with, where, when Starbucks was first getting started in the 90s, they had, you know, nice design, comfy chairs. It was inviting to come and get a coffee and sit and you know gather kind of thing. And now it's essentially designed with the hey, keep it moving, keep it moving kind of vibe to it. There's no, nothing about the chairs, the seating, it's just literally one long banquette with facing single wooden chairs. You know that, on and round table, so there's no comfort or invitingness to come and linger. Dean: Well, they commoditize, so you know. In other words, yeah they start off at very special places. Yeah, and you know you could go in if you could use it as an office, it could be your office all day if you were I think yeah. Dan: I think that's what happened is that post as we got into the last ten years where it became more, you know, wi-fi is ubiquitous and, you know, demanded in public spaces like that. That you know I was saying to Stuart. My theory about it is that in the 90s and early 2000s the internet was still a place that you had to go to right, like you, yeah, had to go to your computer to go there, and these third places were, of you know, an important part of you're putting that aside and you're coming to this third place to be there and as laptops and Wi-Fi and all these things made it possible that people could go and set up shop in the Starbucks and spend the whole day there, that became defeated, the whole purpose. It wasn't a third place, it was the place. 0:25:06 - Dean: You know, yeah, and the other thing it became every place. You know, I mean, when you commoditize, it's every place. And, and you know, I mean you know. And the other thing is that there was a fundamental change in the Starbucks culture and I can say exactly when it was. It was in the 90s and I think it was probably around 1995. They said there's a risky part of our future and that is we can't guarantee that we're always going to have good baristas okay, because the real right. The real skill I mean of Starbucks is who is? Where the baristas who can do the coffee, just right, and they said we can't. You know, it's too risky and that we become too dependent on these people, you know and they said we've got to make it mechanical and what they did immediately is that their espresso drinks, you know, whatever form it came in, was only 80% as good, but it was predictably 80. The moment you give away quality in order to achieve quantity, you've lost all uniqueness. Yeah. I agree, yeah and that's what they've done. And now the other thing is that they created their own competition because people seeing how a coffee operation works, they went to Starbucks University and got their degree, you know, and it probably take a year to do that and they went out and created their own independent coffee shops. So I think those unique coffee shops still exist, but they're not trying to take over the planet yeah, it's really. Dan: It's interesting. I'm looking for places like that, but you just it's kind of a sad thing. It's almost like you've talked often about the, the black cab knowledge of the drivers in London that they have London, I think London. Dean: London, birmingham and Manchester, I think they have, but the black cabs are the best cabs in the world. Yeah, okay, they're, just there's nothing to compare of what an experienced black cab driver with the black cab experience in the world. There's just nothing like it, and it takes you three years of dedicated study to even pass the test to become a black cab driver, you know and it's very interesting that all of that now can be. You know, anybody in their Honda Civic equipped with their iPhone, has the knowledge right on their phone well, actually it worked out, it didn't work out in London right, because Uber came in and they said well, you know, the Uber guys got it, but they have no feel for the city right and yeah, and so within six months of Uber coming in and actually threatening black cab developed its own Uber software, so now they have the Uber software plus the knowledge of the driver yeah, right it's like AI, an AI program defeating world champion, chess champion okay, yeah and within a year, the chess champions just said okay, we've upped the game and now it's us, plus our AI program, against each other. Dan: Yeah, it's very. You know, it's a-. Dean: Humans are infinitely smarter than technology. Dan: Yeah, it's a fascinating time to be approaching your 80th birthday right now too, you know, looking into the next decade here. Yeah, what are you guessing and betting on for the next few weeks? Dean: I'm betting that people's grasp of their past is now their trump card. Okay, that the future is completely and totally unpredictable, okay as far as I'm concerned. I mean, I think you could predict the future more in the 19th and you know the book you gave me, the 1990, the great change I would think was called the Great Change. If I think back to 1950, where I was alive, I think that the first grade teacher and I had a first grade teacher in 1950, sister Mary Josephia. Sister Mary Josephia, sometime, first grade she says the reason why you're learning this now reading, writing and arithmetic is that when you graduate from high school because nobody went to college in those days- you know, you left high school and you went and got a job. She says everybody's going to be looking in the job market at how good you are at reading, writing and arithmetic and showing up on time and finishing what you start and saying please and thank you and everything else. And she was totally correct. In 1962, exactly what she predicted was true. Okay, so try a first grade teacher in 2024, can she predict anything about what a first grader will experience 12 years later? Dan: Yeah, no chance yeah. Dean: And that's just a general condition on the planet. I just think the future is no longer predictable. So what's the unused resource? The unused resource is your past. Dan: Say more about that. What do you mean? The unused resource? Dean: Well, first of all, it's unique. I mean, if I sat down with you and asked you questions about your past and it went on for a year day in day out for a year. Not one thing that you say about your past during that year is anything but unique to you. That's true. Yeah, exactly that's where all the raw material is for creativity. It's not in the future, you know and it was so funny because I remember four or five times in abundance 360, peter would invite in people from Google, okay, and they had these moon shots, okay, and what was interesting about them? They were predicting new things in the future that hadn't been imagined yet, okay. And it seems to me like sparse ingredients, but it was what they were up to and there was presentation after presentation and they had videos on YouTube and everything else. And I said is there any customer experience in this? No, there was no customer experience. They were just making it up, you know, and they were sort of, and these teams were in competition with each other who could come up with the most convincing thing? That didn't exist. And then I kept track of it and over a 10-year period they shot all those projects down. They never went anywhere. Dan: Wow, yeah, they never went anywhere. Dean: Yeah, and I said, all you do is let's find three examples of things that people are already enjoying, and can we put them together in a new way and create something new where people already have experience? With at least a third of the new thing you know, and that's what Apple does. Apple never does anything. First they sit there and they say MP3 player, napster, making money doing this Internet. Let's put the three of them together and see where they go. Dan: Yeah, that's smart. They were doing triple plays and didn't even know it. Yeah, well, maybe they were, Maybe they were yeah that's your clever observation of it, right, exactly, yeah, put a framework over it. Dean: There's a great technology thinker by the name of Mark Mills, and he wrote a really interesting book called the Cloud Revolution. Okay, and it's really worth a read. Okay, and what he said? If you go backwards 100 years and you look for all the major technological breakthroughs that have more or less been the mainstream of the last 100 years, he says they you always discover it was never one thing, it was always three things. Dan: Oh really. Dean: He uses the radio, he uses electricity, he uses internal combustion, he uses cars, he uses airplanes, he uses, you know, motion pictures and all the major things air conditioning and everything, and he shows the three things that went together before the breakthrough was possible. Oh wow, and part of the reason is you're putting together already existing habits. Dan: Yeah, that's really. You have to piggyback on something that somebody's already doing, right. Dean: Yeah, that gives them their existing habit, even though you're adding. You know you're adding factors that are two other habits. But you have to get people something solid to stand on before you ask them to take a step into the new. Dan: What was the name of that book? Dean: again, it's called the Cloud Revolution. Okay, the Cloud Revolution. Yeah and he uses an interesting example and this is a prediction he's making for the future. He said, with reshoring take place. So that's one factor the supply chains are going to get shorter and shorter in the future, because COVID sort of proved to everybody that relying products that came from a hundred different places and required 5,000 miles of ocean travel to get to us wasn't reliable for the future products you know, foods and everything. So what? The major thing is that you're going to try to have supply chains were important with things as close as possible to where the customers are. And he said that's one trend. Okay, that's reshoring, that's that process of bringing your manufacturing and your industrialization back to close to you. That's one factor. The other factor is no longer obsolete shopping centers, Okay. And he said let's suppose that you just take every obsolete shopping center and you turn it into a combination of warehouse, factory and distribution center, Okay. Okay, All the existing infrastructure is built in. That's already zone. It's got huge parking, it's got some massive, big spaces like the big anchor stores, some massive big spaces. You already have delivery docks, you have truck docks that go underground and people go yes and everything. And he says but it's obsolete for the purpose it was created for. But he says if you think about it as a nexus point for trade supply routes in other? Words the raw material will come in and then supply routes going out to the actual customers. And he says all of a sudden you got a new use. But people are used to shopping centers, people work in shopping centers, you know and everything else he says well, you know, and they have major, usually they're situated where there's major transportation routes, there's major highways, there's, you know. I mean probably the best shopping centers are in places that have, you know, highway access. They have air airline, you know, ups, and so that he says just look, look at a lot of stuff that already exists. Put it together in a new way and people's habits already supported. Dan: That's smart. Dean: Yeah. Dan: I like those things, so that fits in with the whole. Jeff Bezos, you know what's not going to change in the next 10 years model, looking not at what's going to change, but what's not going to change, because that's what you can anchor on. Dean: Yeah, it's kind of like I'm just watching all the EV companies, the electric vehicle companies, with the exception of Tesla, because they've got a unique, established niche. I don't think any of the other companies that are based on a profit motive are making that forward, shutting, cutting back. Volkswagen is cutting back, gm is cutting back, everybody's cutting back, because they're losing anywhere from $30,000 to $70,000 on a vehicle and it doesn't look like it's going to get any better. Okay, and then, but what made it unnatural is the fact that you had to have massive government insistence for it to even get off the ground. Dan: Yeah, you just kind of hit something on the head there, because Elon Musk has definitely thrown his hat over the fence on electric vehicles and it is dominating the market for it, because he's all in on that, which is something that Ford and Volkswagen and all these companies can't do. They're not, they're only like dabbling in the electric vehicle markets, you know. Dean: Yeah they did it because there were massive subsidies, there was math, you know, and the states like California were mandating. You know, you know, and by 2035 we won't have any fossil fuel vehicles. Okay, and you know, if the strong arm of government's gonna come on and just forbid the alternative, well, of course we're going to invest our future in it. But those governments are going to be thrown out. I bet the government in California is throwing out within 10 years, I mean you know, by the way, that that just reminded me of something. Dan: I just watched the Tucker Carlson interview with Putin. Did you see that? Dean: Yeah, Parts of it. I saw a part Okay. Dan: Yeah, yeah, nothing extraordinary about that. That wasn't what I was getting to. But while Tucker was in Russia, he did a series of short Videos that were just kind of exploring what is it actually like in a, you know, post sanctioned Russia that you know, yeah, since they put sanctions in place and you know, and it was funny because he was describing, you know, like every visual that we have of, you know, communism in Russia is, you know, empty shelves and limited supply and limited Choice and utilitarian things. So he went, he did a interesting series where he went to a Russian Supermarket to see, okay, so what is it like like? What's day-to-day life like in Russia under sanctions during wartime? And it was, you know, the most fascinating like grocery store where you go in and it's the shelves are stopped with Everything you could imagine, all these things. It's a beautiful, clean store, very modern. Everything about it was amazing. They filled up their basket with what would be, you know, a week's worth of groceries for a family of four kind of thing, what you would get if you were kind of feeding a, a family of four and they, you know, found everything. They they wanted a beautifully you know, fresh baked bread, all the staples that you could need. They filled them all up. They all him and the producers kind of guessed that they would have, you know, $400 or 400 worth of groceries if they were buying it in America, kind of thing which was their frame of reference and Turns out they got all of that stuff for like a hundred and four dollars is what it's what it costs. Dean: Yeah, don't you find it fascinating that he found the one supermarket in all of Russia where that was. Dan: That's what I wonder. That's what I want. Dean: No, that's not you think he went there just have passers-by on his own, I don't like to go. Oh yeah, yeah, the Soviets had one in Moscow. It was right near the Kremlin. It was called gum GUM, if you look it up on Wikipedia. Huh, capital G, capital U, capital M, and you went in and it was just well-dressed shoppers, everything you know, I think that's that's might have been where he was. That might have been it, oh yeah, and it's, and it's a show place, it's a show play and that's what they found when they found out the history of it. Shoppers would go in and they would come out the front door and then they go around the block, go through the black door Backdoor and give back everything that they had bought, and then it was restocked on the shelves. Dan: Oh boy. Dean: They were all actors. Dan: Oh, wow, very interesting. I wondered the same thing, because they did. He went to a subway station that he admittedly said was the most beautiful. So we never seen a subway station as nice anywhere in in America and it was. They showed the footage of it. You know, beautiful artwork and chandeliers and steam, cleaned cleanliness and, no, no graffiti, all of those things. And it did have the sense of. Is this a show place? Because there's an interesting YouTube channel. There was a gentleman from the UK and his channel is called bald and bankrupt and what he does is he goes just solo with a single camera and he was touring all these Soviet Territories. All the outposts, you know, like that were the height of the thing, to compare, and every one of it is Just like everything is run down. And you know all of the Soviet Union, you know post Communism is completely, you know, run down. And what you would expect, right, what you would that, your Vision of it, and I think that you kind of just hit it on the head. That's that it's more likely. Dean: That's like a show place or a yeah that that subway system was put in the 1930s. Okay, they had the boss of it, was cruise ships, cruise ships came in the fame Because he put in. But there was. There was no Limit on cost and there was no limit on how many people died. Building, they asked, made about 20,000 workers died. Putting in the subway system Okay and and, but if those are not cost you pay any attention to, then you can build anything in the world. But, if you wanted to go to another city and see the subway, they wouldn't let you do that. You could only see the subway. That they, because subways were a bigger deal you know in the 1930s or 1920s. Then they are now. You know, because most people don't use the subways. But in Europe, you know, where people don't have cars and they live in very dense populated areas, subways make sense. I mean 80 percent of the Public transportation in the United States I'm talking about buses and subways and commuter trains is the greater New York area that once you get outside the New York area, only 20 percent of the public public Transportation public transportation exists because everybody's got private transportation. Dan: Yeah exactly right. Dean: I mean you got your own. I mean you got a plush Travel vehicle called the Tesla X. You know it's kind of neat. You don't use it 99% of the time, but it's nice having you know. Dan: You know what I said. I was talking about you. Yesterday the I was had to drive somewhere that was about an hour away, just over an hour Actually. Dan said a new high watermark for my migration north. I went just about a half an hour north of I for the first time since. What's it like? Dean: I mean do you need oxygen? Dan: I mean you know I was using the self-drive, which is just name. You know it's only in named and as it has a nervous breakdown if you take your hand off the wheel for more than 30 seconds at a time. But I said you know Dan Sullivan has it figured out. Dan Sullivan has had self-drive since 1997. Dean: You've had true self drive, self automatic, self drive you know it's an interesting thing, but what I notice, you know I'm just developing the reason. This thing about the past is interesting because I'm writing my new quarterly book right now and it's called Everything Is Created Backward, and what I mean everything that sticks is actually created by starting with the past and picking the best of, and I think three things is really a formula. I mean, there might be things where it's five things, but I think three is useful because you can go looking for three, okay, and what I'm seeing is that the tech world has basically ground to. A lot of people don't know this, but the investment part, the venture capital part of the tech world, has just hit a wall. I mean, there's a massive amount of money available, but nobody wants to invest it because so many things promised as new things in the last 10 years really haven't amounted to anything. It's about, I think about less, maybe around 10% of IPOs. You know, initial public offerings have panned out Okay. That's a high risk that you have a nine you know, a nine to one chance of losing your money if you invest in something new, and I think the hype factor for getting investment has lost its energy. Dan: Yeah, that's changes everything. This changes everything, oh that's no good, then that's a sure sign that it's doomed. Yeah, this changes everything should be your signal to run away. Dean: Yeah, and you know I mean, but it does change everything for certain individuals and this is the mistake. It's like Joe Polish calls this cruel optimism. Dan: You know cruel optimism Okay. Dean: Yeah, and he has a great take on this, and he said that that when it comes to you know, because he's very interested in addictions and how one gets off an addiction, and he says there's thousands of predictions that if you do this and do this, you get a work for you. And he said what's true about it is it'll work for somebody, okay, but it's their willingness for it to work that actually makes it possible. And so there's a lot of human agency to things turning out the way you want. If you take complete ownership and it has to work for you, probably it'll work. But if you think it's going to be done to you and you don't have to do anything probably it won't work. Yeah, that's a very yeah, but I thought it was. But he says it's very cruel Because when it doesn't work and it doesn't work, and it doesn't work, your addiction gets more powerful. Dan: I said to somebody I've been talking about. I've often talked about the difference between, in marketing, a slot machine versus a vending machine, and that's a great analogy. It's often the way that most businesses take on marketing. They put money in the slot machine and they pull the lever and they hope that something happens and they're surrounded in a room by all the other entrepreneurs. Dean: Yeah, we got two out of three. Or we got two out of three oranges. Dan: We got a trend going here, that's right, so everybody's pulling their slot machine and they're all in the same room and somebody hits the jackpot and they all flock over to that machine. Look at the crowd, See see, see, it works. They're like yeah, trying to do the same thing. And then you know every all the testimonials that you see. That's exactly what that reminded me of. It's cruel optimism that sometimes see it does work, but they're usually talking about something that happened quickly and to a great extent and once. And it's not the same as the predictable vending machines. Not every time I put in the dollar I get $10 out. Dean: But you know, one of them has. One of them comes with a dopamine factor and the vending machine doesn't come with the dopamine factor. Dan: That's the truth, isn't it? Yeah, but we're all seeking that excitement of the the lot machine. Yeah, it's a cruel optimism, that's funny. Dean: I think it's a good. I think it's a good title. You know, he everything but and. But. It has that somebody else's formula for the future is going to work for you. You know, so I have a. You know I have a little saying that in order to create a more, bigger and better future, you have to first start by creating a bigger and better past. And the reason is the past is all yours to work with. The future is nobody's to work with. Dan: Right. Dean: Yeah, and so my feeling is the greatest breakthroughs with the new vision pro, you know and you know the other AI technologies that are coming along with it is that my feeling is that the best breakthroughs for this will be actually an industrial work, where you're actually dealing with existing engineering. You're existing with existing infrastructure and I think quality control is going to go way up, as people can check out every system you know and they look at, you know they go backstage, they go into a boiler room and they can do a check with their goggles on of every piece of machinery and they have a checklist, does this check and does this check and nothing gets missed. And I think it's going to. The great greatest breakthrough is going to be an industrial quality control. I think that's where it's going to be most used Wow and warfare. I mean all the 35, the latest jets. They operate as six pilot, six plane units. And all, every one of the pilots is aware of the other five pilots and what they're doing. Okay, and they operate as this six person unit, their radar allows them to see 500 miles out in all directions. Okay, and they can see any threat coming, probably two or three minutes before the threat sees them, which makes a big difference, you know. So yeah, somebody said, all breakthroughs happen in three ways, all human, technological breakthroughs. Number one is weaponry. Okay, that's number one, number two is toys and number three is porn. Dan: So there's a triple play right there in the making. Dean: There's a triple play. I mean, if you can check off the box, if this is good for warfare, it's good for play and it's good for porn you got yourself a winner. Dan: Oh my goodness. Dean: That's funny, I like within three days. The biggest complaint about Apple's new vision pro was you couldn't do popcorn on it. Dan: You can't I mean, it's funny, isn't it? That's the way, that's the thing, oh man. Dean: Now, instead of being horrified by that, you're being told something important. Dan: Yes, exactly that's great. So this, this is the week, dan, this is our yeah, so we'll be in. Dean: Orlando at the four seas, in Palm Beach at the four seasons. So Thursday evening will be arriving there. I've got all day Friday completely free. And but we already have Saturday for dinner and Sunday dinner in the calendar with others who have requested it. Dan: Okay so so I got lots of time. Okay, so that's my plan Initially. I may come down Friday then, but Saturday was when I was going to arrive, so maybe, let's you know, put Saturday lunch for sure, yeah, if that works for you yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah and yeah. Dean: So we're completely, you know, completely flexible with those days All my materials for printing have to be in by Tuesday this week. Dan: Okay, so you're gonna. You're a relax and it's all underway. Dean: Yeah, it gets printed out of Chicago and it'll be sent to the team when they get to Palm Beach. It'll be in the four seasons and they'll just have all the materials for the workshop. Dan: Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Okay, well, worst case scenario be Saturday at lunch, maybe Friday. I'll come down on Friday, okay. Dean: What'd you get? What'd you get out of today? Dan: Fascinating, I think this whole. I like this idea of the exponential thinker. Dean: I think that I will be there. You should chat with him about it. There's so many people. Dan: I'm looking, really looking forward to seeing everybody it's. I can't believe it's been a year. Dean: You know, yeah, yeah, yeah. So there, anyway, I think we're gonna have a good. We're gonna have a good, a good event. We have about 70 free zoners and we have another 90 guests. Dan: Oh my goodness, wow, okay, great. Yeah, so hopefully that will yield some new free zoners too. Dean: Yeah, okay, dean, see you on Saturday. Thanks, dan, bye, and just let Becca know, you know, and she'll work things out. Dan: Okay, that sounds great, okay, okay, thanks, bye, bye.

covid-19 america new york california chicago europe google uk ai apple internet vision japan british americans speaking travel building russia innovation japanese elon musk putting public iphone uber tesla videos vladimir putin vr starbucks abundance shakespeare manchester wikipedia south korea jeff bezos wifi mark zuckerberg stuart limit moscow transportation zen ipo ev excitement soviet union mainstream soviet openai fusion communism tucker carlson volkswagen gpt kremlin sora palm beach backdoor dali soviets shoppers dan sullivan woven gutenberg natural world gum in english honda civic tinkering free zone joe polish winter haven great change dean jackson chiseled mark mills nick nanton japanese zen dan it tinkerers iambic asymptotic dan you dan well tesla x dan so evan ryan dan oh

Ep117:Observations on Perception

Welcome to Cloudlandia

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2024 53:04

In today's episode of Welcome to Cloudlandia, we take you on a journey through history and our complex relationship with time and its perception. We discuss hidden economic forces that shaped pivotal history and debate if we live in the "best or worst of times." I share my experience with breaking free from television, only to be pulled back by sporting thrills and gripping shows, a reminder of how addictive media can be. As we wrap up our discussion, we reflect on exciting developments on the horizon. We celebrate entrepreneurs who have adapted their businesses to thrive online. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS Dean talks about time perception and the fascination with having foreknowledge of events, particularly in the context of financial markets and the desire to possess tomorrow's news today. We explore the human ability to adapt to a wide range of temperatures, humorously comparing our ancestors' robust survival skills to modern reactions to climate change. Dean reflects on the concept of whether we are living in the best or worst of times, citing both the remarkable conveniences of modern life and the psychological challenges posed by the battle for our attention. Personal anecdotes include Dean's success in abstaining from watching television for over five years, despite being tempted by his loyalty to sports teams and the immersive experience of a Netflix binge. There's a discussion about the skepticism surrounding medical advancements and the difficulty in discerning credible health information in an era of conflicting opinions. We examine the impact of technology on spontaneity and control in our lives, touching on smart devices and drawing a parallel to the controlling nature of HAL 9000 from "2001: A Space Odyssey". Dan shares insights on entrepreneurship, reflecting on the adaptability required to thrive in the digital age, such as the growth of his coaching program and the shift from in-person workshops to online formats. We delve into the process of book production, noting the importance of releasing work to make room for new ideas and discussing technological advancements that have expedited the process. Dean talks about integrating AI chat into books to allow readers to interact with content and contemplates whether AI could help guide readers through material by asking questions. Coordination for an upcoming trip to Chicago is mentioned, where Albie will be joining Dean and Dan, indicating excitement for the visit and the promise of future stimulating discussions. Links: WelcomeToCloudlandia.com StrategicCoach.com DeanJackson.com ListingAgentLifestyle.com TRANSCRIPT (AI transcript provided as supporting material and may contain errors) Dean: Mr Sullivan. Dan: I'm almost tapping in here. Dean: Almost. That's exactly right as close as you can get without going over. We're you know we're going to be 12 hours away from it here, it's all very exciting. Dan: Yeah, yeah, we were talking to Kim Daniel. He now calls himself. Daniel White and he phoned us from birth Australia from the future from the future from the future. So they're already. They're already into New Year's yeah, that's so funny. What a weird world, what a world for a world, you know. Dean: I saw an infographic that there's an island. There's two islands up where Russia and Alaska joined. They're separated by three miles. You can see the other island. I like it once called tomorrow Island or something. What the American side is. You know 24 hours difference because it's right after the straddle the line divides them is the international date line. So they're three miles away, and yet they're 24 hours apart. Yeah that's really interesting. Dan: You know people often have these quizzes. You know it's either you're reading the quizzes or you're being asked the quiz. Yeah, and it's. Dan: if you had one superpower, what would it be? Have you ever had anything like that, so many? I have you know I think about or you were you were a witness to this question being asked. And mine is that I would like to have tomorrow morning's Wall Street Journal yesterday. Yeah, exactly Exactly. How great would that be, that could be. Dean: The thing is literally what you should. That could be a loophole, Dan. Maybe we should go to these islands and subscribe to the Wall Street Journal on tomorrow Island. Oh man. Dan: Now take a bit of work. I mean, you still have to learn what to look for, and you know you'd have to have the means by which you could, and but that just reminds me. I think everybody would like to have that superpower. Dean: They would like to have advanced understanding of the future Well you know what's so funny is one of the things that I wanted to talk about today, because it's, you know, explore. This idea is because I ranked it up there as one of the top concepts of the year for me, and that is guessing and betting, and essentially, what you're saying is it's absolutely true. The reason that would be so valuable is that it would bring certainty. If you look tomorrow and see what the closing stock price of a any stock was today. If you knew that in advance, that it starts out at X and it's going to be X plus. Y at the end of the day, you're betting with certainty, and that's a pretty interesting. That's what I really thought about the that concept, and I'd love to hear a little more, because well, I think it's, I think it's been. Dan: It's a thought that's been in the human brain since the first humans. Dean: Yeah, I agree, you think that not knowing, I wonder where. I wonder how would that have manifested itself then in the beginning? Knowing where, the, I guess what would it be? Knowing where, the where the food is going to be, or something. Dan: Well, I think, you know, I think probably it manifested itself in the first days of people just noticing the weather, you know, like wherever they were, that you know, that. I mean I think they probably, if you did Colby's back then, like a Colby profile that that the earliest humans really varied in terms of you know what they were skillful at and what they focused on Okay. And. But my sense is that there were some people who were more conceptual, who could notice patterns better than others. And they could make sort of predictions which you know as it regard weatherers. That regarded, the wildlife around them or the you know. The you know availability of food. They would immediately go to the top of authority and in whatever group they were, because they just had a sense of what was going on and a better sense of tomorrow than anybody else did. Dean: Yeah, that's really yeah must have freaked, I mean, imagine, not knowing with. I guess the first certainty would be well, even though the sun went away, it's going to come back up again, Yep, and then getting that certainty that, okay, there it is. And wait a minute, it's colder this time of year than what's all this white stuff. I subscribe to the Gary Halbert philosophy. He had a saying that God gave us a sign by planting palm trees in all the places that were suitable for human habitation. So if you wake up and you don't see any palm trees, keep bending south. That's his philosophy. If you see palm trees. Dean: You know you're in the right place. Yeah. Dan: Yeah, and then you know you, it's very interesting. Everybody worries about global warming or they are making large amounts of money warning about global warming. I think that's more of a ladder than it is that they're actually worried. I think they've discovered a new way to make money? Yeah, but but if you think of the variations in temperature that humans can deal with, okay. So, for example, in North Africa, in the Sahara, people go about their business when it's 120 degrees up, 120 or plus, you know, in the Sahara. And at the same time there I've been in Alberta in Canada, when it was 44 below and everybody went about their business. Speaker 3 Yeah, so that's a difference, that's a difference. Dan: Fahrenheit wise, that's a difference of 164 degrees Okay. And humans at one end, people are going about their business. That's the other. They're going about their business and they're freaking out about a one degree change, one or two degree change. And I said I mean, who of us doesn't go through that, even you know, in idyllic spots like where you live? Yeah, there's still a variation of 20 to 25, maybe 30 degrees during here, right, Right. Dean: Yeah, no, it's been. It's been a little cold here Like I. Literally, I almost had to wear socks with my shorts today, dan, it's that's how chilly it was, wow, yeah. Yeah. Dean: And I have a hoodie on Wow. Just to stay one because I'm committed. I'm still sitting out in the courtyard have you done trauma? Dan: Have you done trauma therapy on this? Dean: No, you know, the funny thing about I mean, what they call the whole climate change is, you know, if we look back, it's a fact, scientifically accepted, that we were in an ice age at one point and somehow, without the aid of fossil fuels and combustible engines, the earth warmed itself out of an ice age. And now we're having a nervous breakdown that we're gonna, because of combustible engines, throw the whole thing off into. Dan: I don't know, it's just See as an entrepreneur talking to an entrepreneur. That proves to me that there's money to be made in nervous breakdowns. Dean: Give people nervous breakdowns. That's the thing, yeah, yeah. Dan: You know, it's like the Jerry McGuire movie. Remember Jerry McGuire movie. Dean: I do. That's a great movie. Where's the? Dan: money. Dean: Yeah. Dan: Show me the money. Show me the money, show me the money. And I think that when you're trying to analyze any event on the planet which is being interpreted in economic, political well, not economic but political, philosophical terms, I say I think your first question has to be okay, who's making the money? here yeah right. Dean: That's absolutely true, absolutely true, and it's gonna be. Yeah, I think that you know I was sharing a couple of weeks ago the idea of my contemplation on whether this is the best of times or the worst of times. Dan: And the answer is yeah. Dean: That's exactly right. But what I realized is that there's, in terms of every physical measurement, every convenience, access to information, democratization of virtually everything. It's the very best of times. There's never been a better time than now, and on the worst, the best things that I could come up with are the most, you know, the things that would qualify as making it the worst of times, where all the battle for our minds and it's that creating those there's a lot to fixate on. You know that really has nothing to do with us in. You know, in reality, like when it's all mental, the inner game is really the battle, for Dean Landia is strong, you know. Dan: Yeah, I think it's true, and just to bring you know the latest update, I'm now in my Almost six, five and a half years of not watching television. Dean: I know I thought like amazing. Dan: Yeah, and, but this was sort of the test for me this fall, because I'm from Cleveland originally and. I have the normal sports loyalties. Like I rude right, you know, I root for the teams I rooted for when I was eight years old and the Cleveland Browns are having a really quite an extraordinary season as the result of a 38 year old quarterback. Yeah, I've heard his name Joe Flack, oh, oh. Who was sitting on a. Who is sitting on a couch Watching television or lying on a couch? Six weeks ago, when Cleveland went to their third quarterback of the year, went down and they brought him in. And he's been easily the best quarterback in the league over the last four or five years. Yeah and Just, I mean he's. Here's the Hollywood ending that they go to the Super Bowl and this guy comes off the coach and wins the Super Bowl. That's a great. Dean: Yeah, it's the Kurt Warner story right. Dan: Oh yeah yeah, this is even more because Kurt Warner was about 31 or 32, yeah, when it happened, but this guy's 38. He's he played 16 years and nobody wanted in this year. So it's just got all the makings of a great just a terrific Hollywood script you know, and. But ask me how much? What? How many minutes of Watching the Cleveland Browns this fall have I done? Dean: well, you told me your secret Was that you watch the YouTube summary of the game. Dan: Well, first of all, I watch whether they won or lost right, okay, perfect yes. If they lost, I don't watch the summary if they win. I watched the video. And what I've discovered I? Dan: what I've discovered is that no football game has more than 10 minutes of actual highlights. Speaker 3 Right. Dan: Yeah, and then? The one I like the best is where they just show your team's highlights when they want, which is about five minutes. Yeah right right, right. Dan: So rabbit pan. First game was 97 Jim Brown, olive fame and perhaps the greatest running back of all time. It was his rookie season and he broke the one game rushing record Day for touchdowns 200, 200 plus some yards. That was my first and I was addicted. It was like drugs, right. You know, you don't you give the first sample away free, and then the drugs do the selling for the rest of my life. Yeah and so anyway. But, tempted as I may be, this fall I did not watch a minute of television. Dean: Wow, that's great, and you know I'm watching the. Dan: I'm not watching the highlights TV, as a matter of fact, I'm looking at the TV. It's across the room for me. And. Dan: I don't even know where, I don't even know how you turn it on, oh, boy. Fantastic. It's like the Dark Ages. I've lost abilities that the Romans said. You know the whole. Dean: You know, on the other side of that spectrum is Yesterday. I had two amazing things happen. So yesterday I Got up and I got coffee, and sometimes what I'll do is I, like Jerry Seinfeld had a series called comedians in cars getting coffee and it's just a fun. You know they're 10 minute episodes, 10 12 minutes kind of thing. I think I'm someone in, so I sometimes I'm having like coffee, I'll sit there and I'll watch a comedians in cars getting coffee, and so I turned on Netflix to do that. And Netflix has this thing of pushing to your home screen, you know, through your algorithm or whatever, the thing that would be the most interesting to you, probably. And there was a series called money heist, which was a big thing. You know, in 2020, when we were all in Lockdown based, this money heist series came on and everybody got, you know, fully addicted to it. It was really well done. It was just from Spain and it was Dubbed with English voices, but really well done. So, in any event, the third installment of this money heist series was front and center on my Netflix home screen yesterday and I Ended up no, this was Friday, sorry, I ended up watching the whole series on that Friday and the funniest thing, dan, is that I, for the entire day, thought it was Saturday and I didn't realize until the end of the day that I got an extra day. Do you have those things where in the holidays the days just kind of blend all together? Because I haven't had. Or anything you know and the way you do that, in the way you do. Dan: We each, we all have our own approaches, you know, right on that was so. Dean: That was the funniest thing. I watched the entire series of Fantastic and, but it felt like I just borrowed from my leap year day. Dan: Something got that day. Now I'm thinking got. Dean: I said something got heisted. That's exactly right. Dan: That is exactly right. Well, you know, everybody makes a big deal about this today, but I don't think it was any different. Everybody wants to make Case that the world and humanity has never experienced before, of what we're experiencing to work, and I resist that thought. And I say well, first of all, we don't know, do we? I mean we? I mean we don't know what was going on in the world when we were five or six years old, you know, I mean yeah. I mean, we were just struggling together handle on walking and running and Everything else. But people make all these things like Something like this has never happened before in human history and I yeah. I said first of all, vast majority of people haven't got a clue what happened 10 years ago so you know. I mean and you know some of some people it's last week and. Anyway, and I said actually probably, we all want to believe that our own age is something special. And I said okay, well, that's something to remember that regardless of what age you're in, people want to believe that it's sort of special. Okay, and I get that, but my sense is it's always been special. One it's always been special, or two it's never been special. And but if you go back, and If you go back and read the thinking of people, where we actually have the documents Greek 2500 years ago, totally understandable, translated and Very thoughtful and you could learn a lot from these guys. Okay so so are there people smarter today than our Air stock? I don't know, because I'm not sure how you would compare a smartness over in 2500 years. Dean: Well, I mean, I think you can point to certain things. I mean you can point to Even just in. Let's just take medicine. You've just returned from your second trip to Buenos Aires to get stem, stem cells for generating cartilage in your knees Right and others and others. Dan: So it's turning into. It's turning into repair and also prevention. So they're now doing proactive stuff for you know your brain and your vascular system and everything. Dean: Oh, I remember. Yeah, so you know. I remember walking in Regents Park in London with Jamie Smart. We were walking around and he was telling me, you know he had written his new book at the time Clarity was out and he was saying how, in the 18, people thought that bad smells cause disease and so people would walk around with posies and fragrant things to ward off disease. And turns out that it was germs that caused this disease. And so when you think about, you know, 2,500 years ago, advancements in medicine, you know we were, I mean, leaching and you know bloodletting and all of these sort of you know superstitious things I think were happening and they were thinking that some diseases were demonic possession. You know that's really what was going on, that bring people had seizure, that they were possessed by the devil or by demons. And so now you fast forward to today and we have DNA that with certainty can point to what your genetic predispositions are, and stem cell, you know, can go in and repair or modify those things. I don't know. Dean: I mean, I think that we are, I think, life expectancy. So I think in many ways we're constantly ratcheting forward society, right, and I think, with now access to you know it used to be. If you just take even 50 years ago, you know it used to be that all of the research and development and advancements in medicine were all done in silos, where you know proximity to those people or you know had to be around. And now we're at a point where every advancement that's documented and available is, you know, instantly analyzable by artificial intelligence and machine learning. So we have access to not just our own thinking but the analysis and you know computation skills or whatever, to everything to the hive mind. You know. I think that's really what we've evolved to. Is that you know it's not individual thinkers who you had to. 2,500 years ago you had to be in at the Agora to listen to Aristotle talk, to get the wisdom of Aristotle, or somebody had a scroll that had written down something that he said. You know Now it's like everything I don't know. It's such amazing things that we have access to everything that's ever been said and can project forward in the style of what Aristotle would say today about certain situations. Like you told me, your story of having something interpreted and written as Shakespeare would write it in the Iambic pandemic right, and so I don't I mean, it's like in certain things any argument that today is not a pinnacle of achievement or Well yeah, I think we I've been, you know, pondering over the years what constitutes smart, because it's very clear to me that you can find examples of people thousands of years ago. Yeah. Dan: If the person were in the room and you could understand the language they were speaking they would strike you as being very smart. Speaker 3 Yes. Dan: Okay, and the couple of weeks ago in Congress we had three presidents of prestigious universities who, over a period of about 15 minutes, indicated that they're not very smart Harvard, mit and Penn, okay. And they were asked a fairly simple question Would anything happening on your campus in advocating genocide to Jews, with that constitutive violation of code of conduct? And they couldn't answer the question. Somebody 2,500 years ago could answer the question. So my sense is it's kind of like you're as smart as who you hang out with. Yeah. Dan: And you're as smart as your ability to deal with the your own unknown factors, like we all have unknown factors, and so my sense is that intelligence and smartness has to do with your creative response, or your either creative or reactive response to kind of the conditions that you're living in. You know. You know, and, for example, it's pretty well known now that the people of the South Pacific pledged all over just understanding the color of waves. They could see that there were different variations in the color of the water sea water and they could make predictions based on that. I doubt if there's any human beings today who can do that. Yeah, but I wonder yeah, I mean that's so the thing that I'm saying, I think that human intelligence is kind of a constant and you know, people in the earliest humans were kind of smart in relationship to their circumstances and we probably couldn't survive for a day what they could survive for a year, you know, because we didn't have their knowledge and experience. So I think we have access to great medical breakthroughs right now, but I haven't met a regular doctor yet that knows any of those breakers. Dean: Right? Well, because there's a whole. Dan: I just use my general. I just use my general practitioners for drugs drug dealers. Dean: Yeah. Dan: Good drug dealers. Dean: Yeah, but there's a whole. You know there's a whole, especially in these medical things. There's a lot of. That's one of these nervous breakdown things that there's a whole lot of. For every advancement or every miracle cure or protocol, there's someone, there's a vocal and official sounding opposition to it. Yep. Dean: It's really. This is where it's really difficult. Dan: You can count on that. Is to discern what the yeah, because somebody's pension is at stake, somebody's reputation is at stake, somebody's livelihood is at stake because of something new, because of something new Because they stopped growing 20 years ago and they've been on autopilot and suddenly they've been interrupted. Something new what we've? Dean: got to stop. Is you look at something as devices, as vaccines? That's been the. You know the number one kind of contention in the last four years is the whole. You know the on both sides. You know it's either is it a miracle or is it killing you Is. You know and you don't know the normal answer. Dan: The answer is yes, and the answer is yes. Dean: Yeah, I mean it's so funny. But true, right Like so. Dan: I mean the whole thing, that there was some wisdom, that they had before COVID, which they disregarded. One is that what you have to do is go for the 65-year-olds and older and protect them. Yeah. Dan: Protect the humans that are over 65. That's because there's a likelihood they've got a lot of other conditions that this will put them over the edge. This new thing will put them over the edge. Okay, no they want to start at six months old, they want to start at a year old, you know. Yeah. Dan: I mean, the masks were bigger than the child's head, you know Right, and everything like that. It had nothing to do with medicine. It had nothing to do. It had a lot to do with control. Yes, yes, and I don't know if we've learned anything about vaccines over the last four years, but a large portion of the public has learned not to trust healthcare experts. Public Right, especially public healthcare, that's what we've learned. Yeah, I mean, that's what we've learned Exactly. Dan: Yeah, like, don't go to the water hole at sunrise or sunset, right? Yeah, I mean, that's the truth. Dean: Right. Dan: I mean creditors show up for easy eating. Yes, you know. So my sense is a lot has been learned over the last four years, but I don't think it had anything to do with vaccines. Dean: Yeah, yeah, I agree, and that's, I think, from the you know, for the general public, for people you know observing this, it really creates the sense of you know, nervous, breakdown level things, of you know that there it feels like you're there's no right answer, that it's wrong. You know that you're either COVID's going to get you or the vaccine's going to get you and you can't make the right decision. People are not there's no uncertainty in the decision. Dan: Are your Tesla is going to explode. Right, exactly, or they're going to you know, and there's the thing, right. Dean: That's all part of it. That's what your Tesla is going to be shut down. You know that the government's going to control. Yeah, I mean, there's so much, yeah, I love this. Dan: You know, I mean I'm not. Babs loves her Tesla and she has the same model you do, and she's had it for six years and she loves it and I love Babs, so it works. But I really liked my Beamer. I really liked the Beamer we had before. Dean: You know what? Dan: It didn't get any smarter in the garage overnight. And when the car goes into the garage when the car goes into the garage before dark and we close the door. I don't want a smarter car. When I pick up the phone, oh my goodness. Dean: You know, what's so funny is I think it's so presumptuous, so fun. I wake up, I get in the car and it tells me it's nine minutes to Haven Bakery, haven Cafe. It's like telling me that. Or at Honeycomb Cafe, it's telling me nine minutes, traffic is okay. It's presuming where I'm going. Dan: Well, why can't you just take a chance? I wonder how the traffic is going to be this morning. To see that there's a pleasure has been taken away from me. Yeah yeah. Dean: It's so funny, right? I don't have any, you've got certainty and I just push the button and let it drive me there. So that's the greatest thing you know. It's so funny. Dan: Yeah it's like you know it's 2001,. Stanley Kubrick's movie. What was the astronauts name? I forget, but that Hal was talking to us. What do you think you're doing? Was it Doug? Or I'm trying to think he's. Hal Dave. Dan: Yeah, hal was the computer you know yeah. Which is just IBM. You know, if you take IBM backwards, you come up with Hal, but anyway, and it's saying what do you think you're doing, dave? You know, like that. Dan: It's nine minutes to the coffee show, Dave. Dean: Right. Why are you turning left? Speaker 3 Yeah, yeah, why are you? Dan: even wondering Goodness, that is funny though that your car. Dean: You wake up and your car is smarter it was. Oh man. Dan: Oh, you said it at the beginning. You said it was the beginning. Dean, that's all a fight and competition for your brain, that's what it is. Dean: It's the absolute truth you know, and I think that you, you know, I think you've cut off the good portion of that access to your brain by removing yourself from programming television and you're becoming the program director. Dan: Well, think about this as an entrepreneur, that if you want to know the distinction between an entrepreneur, and a non-entrepreneur you know and I think about this a lot because I've been at it for 50 years right now, and I've asked that question a lot, you know. Do you think entrepreneurs are born? And I said well that I couldn't attest to it. Yes, they were born, but you know, or you know, is it learned? And I said well, I don't know the answer to that question, but I would say that the entrepreneurs I know were on a path that was decidedly different, probably before they were 10 years old. They weren't going along with the crowd, they were. they were doing something individual, kind of on their own because, they were very curious about something, and most people who aren't entrepreneurs were more socially addicted. You know what did the group think and what they had, but if you think about that, you're a self programmer. The big thing about entrepreneurs is that we're self programmers, in other words, we program the next day, we program the next week, we program. You know, here we are on New Year's Eve and both of us are programming the next year and it really doesn't have to do with anybody else's programming. Dean: Yeah, that's the greatest thing. This is going to be a big 2024, it's going to be a big year. I mean you're about, you're going to turn 80 in. Dan: May, yeah, and it's 50 years coaching 50 years coaching since and the company. The program is 35 years old, so yeah, they're at 35th and yeah, I mean, yeah, they all three of them happened this year, but but I mean we just came off our best year ever. I mean just in terms of you know new people into the program and everything else. Yeah, we hit 52, which was great. 952 new people in the program that's awesome, and except for two presentations, I didn't have anything to do with that. That's a real, that's a real good measurement for me. Dean: Yeah, for sure. And now this year, this will be your first year with only free zone workshops. Dan: No that was. Dean: This was your first year. Dan: Yeah, this I stopped, I stopped. I'm just trying to take one. Did that Cross over? That's what I'm wondering, yeah. Dan: No, it was January of last year, January. Dean: Okay, so this year was yeah, I've gotten a full year full year with only free zone. Dan: Yeah, right, and you know, really caused a lot of tension for a lot of people in the company and everything else and I said, well, it's going to happen sometime. Why don't we just make it happen right now? Yeah. Dan: And you know there was pushback and you know the usual sort of thing. But my way of creating change is just to create a vacuum. Yeah, right, something's going to fill it. Speaker 3 Throw your hat over the fence. Yeah. Dan: So I announced in the middle of just trying to take care. I announced in the middle of 2021. So it was June of 2021. At the end of 22, I'm not going to do any more 10 times workshops. Right, yeah, I remember. Dan: People said, well, how are we going to do this? And I said my security clearance doesn't go that high, I just have no idea. I just know that after the end of next year I'm not going to do any 10 times workshops. Okay, and. I've done this enough in the past. People and Babs and I had already worked this out, so that wasn't Babs and I are saying that something's going to happen. Well, that's not negotiable. Dean: Right, yeah, that's awesome. Dan: But we have five coaches, who you know, who had to jump to the next level, and they did a good job and the renewals are more or less the same as if I was doing the workshops at the end of the first year, pointing off here, pointing out there. So you know, and you know, and I think we had 180 people who moved from the signature level to the end times. So that was great. Dean: Oh, I didn't have a. Dan: I didn't have anything to do with that, and the more things that can happen in the company that I don't do or don't even know about, the better I feel. Speaker 3 Yes, yes, that's yeah that's pretty exciting, I'm talking about. I'm talking about. Yeah, no, I bet it. Dean: I'm sure any dip in the you know 10 times conversions or whatever was offset by people in 10 times who want to stay with Dan moving up to freedom. Imagine that was offset by that. Yeah. Dan: Well, it pushes. It pushes both ways. But the one thing that we realized, that I hadn't thought of that. Really worked out great, and it's only because of COVID. It's the two hour. Zoom workshops, yeah, so every quarter. Dan: I do six two hour 10 times workshops and I do two hour free zone workshops and that little two hour thing, which was only possible because of COVID Nobody, nobody watched Zoom before. Covid has made a world of difference. It's made a world of difference. So I was only going to do that for a year and now I'm going to. I've extended it to the end of 24. And I like that yeah. Dan: But I like it, I like it and everybody else likes it, and it seems to work. But I don't think that would have ever happened if I hadn't just said no more full day in-person workshops. Dean: Right, yeah, that's fantastic, so you're coming up now. This is interesting, then the when did your quarterly book? Did that start on your birthday? That was the end of the end of 2014. Dan: So next December it'll be book 40. Dean: Right, okay, there you go. And we're just curious about your intention and your plan for your 80s being the best decades. Dan: Well, I'll do 40 more books because I'm not to 100 yet. So, and they're getting better. I mean, I can tell the feedback from our longtime clients. They said you know the books are really, they're really getting more interesting. They're not just program tools that you're explaining, you're doing right, doing all sorts of different things, but the insight I had, dean, was that a lot of people spend years, even decades, on books Okay, which, yeah, aren't finished, which aren't finished, right, and they they maybe have 20 or 30 chapters and each of the chapters are kind of interesting, not equal to each other but their interest. I said, why don't you just take one of the chapters and turn it out as a book? And of course you and I went through the early days when you could do this quickly, when you had the 90 minute book idea and are continuing to do that. And then I think it was who was it that came up with they could turn a book around in a week for you if you just send it in for them. Who is that Amazon? Is it Amazon? Yeah, I think it's Amazon Exactly. Dan: Yeah, amazon yeah, and we use. Dean: yeah, I mean it's yeah. Dan: And yeah, and perfectly good, you know, perfectly useful, and but we've got our own. You know print shops here in Toronto and it's a lot cheaper than in the US. We found out that a point to realize for you living in the States that getting a book printed in Toronto is about 40% cheaper than getting a book printed in Chicago, dollar for dollar. You know Canadian dollar. Dean: Wow, Even after the exchange rate right. Yeah, yeah. Dean: After the exchange rate yeah, yeah, you're, yeah. The other thing is yeah, my head. Dean: You know it's not a unique. You have a one of one style of book. That everything about it, from the double cover to the thickness of the color cover, to the paper stock on the inside and the color scheme, and you know it's one of one. There's no, there's nothing else like it. Dan: Yeah, and I've told people you know you're sitting on books. I mean you're always talking about writing the book. But where's the book? You know, why don't you just get the book finished? And they said well, you know, you know. I said I said you're thinking about it too much, you're not executed. I said just get the book out there. I said it's not going to change the world, it's not going to be a bestseller, they're not going to make a Hollywood movie out of it. So Right. And what it does is it gets some old ideas in your head out so that you can have some new ideas. Dean: Yeah, the truth isn't it. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of what a collection to going all the way back to book number one and then to book, you know, whatever you're at now I'm working on 7 right now. Yeah, yeah. Dan: Well, I get a lot out of it and of course we've got great teamwork inside the company when we started with your team actually the first one. Dean: I remember the first couple Thinking about your thinking that was the first book. Dan: And then you know, some of our team members said well, we could do this, and we could do this, and we could do this. And I said that's great. Plus, the technology just keeps improving. I mean, if you think I started that in. Where's the technology today compared to where? it was in 2014,. Dan: You know. Yeah, yes. Dan: So my cartoonist Hamish McDonald. I estimate that every year I get the productivity capability of another Hamish just because of the upgrades to software and hardware. Dean: To the tools he's able to use and deploy. Dan: Oh. Dean: Yeah, oh yeah. Dan: I mean, like I'll, we're right at the end of the book I'm working on. So we're just working on the conclusion and the program where we describe strategic coach. Those are the last two sections. So on Tuesday I'll sit down and we'll sketch out what the cartoon is going to be for the conclusion. I've got the outline, with the outline copy all done, so we can read it. Yeah. Dan: And we'll sketch it out and we'll have another meeting on Thursday and he'll be 90% finished Full color. Yeah. Dan: And we do a little tweaks and then in the last 10 minutes we say well, let's look at the next section and he'll sketch it out, and on Monday of the following week he'll be finished with the cartoon. Book one that was a 10 day process for. That was a 10 day process for one sections cartoons. Dean: Right, well, it's wild. And now I guess you know I mean book 36,. You've got all of the ear. You've evolved it into all of the ways to consume. Now you know that you've got the cartoons and the audio and the video. Dan: Yeah, so we're going to do one new thing that Dean and we could talk about this. We're going to do one new thing, probably the first quarter. I'm going to take one of the books and we're just got it down to choice of three and we're going to create an AI chat on just that book. Okay, so the entire knowledge base will just be the words that are in that particular book. And then we'll use, and Leor Weinstein is helping us with this. Dean: And then. Dan: So in addition to the audio, the video, the cartoons, the text, you'll also get the AI and you can ask the book questions and it'll answer you. Dean: Do you think, dan, this is? I've had this in this conversation. Maybe we could have a whole discussion around this, but because I you know this is a very real capability of AI right now, but I think that there's. I would rather have the AI ask me questions and guide me through the process than me having to ask the questions. Yeah because that requires me having included yeah it requires work. Yes, that's exactly right. We're inquiring, you and I, how that's exactly right, and I would much rather I would love to have an AI coach me through applying this to me. So it was hey that hey, hey, hey yeah. Dan: Well, I think you should go get in the car and take a 15 minute, 15 minute drive to the car. Dean: I think that's not you know, because somebody else. No, no, no that's brilliant. Dan: That's brilliant. Let's talk about that. Yeah because somebody else that actually indicates some intelligence, doesn't it? Dean: Yes, but the thing is that you know that application where, if I could go through a track, it's like a guided thing. If you could train the AI as a coach in this to guide somebody through where they're at and how this would apply to them, like somebody had, because somebody was training up a Napoleon Hill that you could chat with Napoleon Hill and you could ask him any questions. And I just realized that much better experience. Dan: You could have one from Jerry Spence. Yes. Dean: How great would that be right, Jerry Spence coaching. Dan: Well, he would ask you all sorts of adverts questions before you know that's, that's his book is great, by the way, you put me on to him. Yes, you know more or less his autobiography. But nice person, I mean he comes across. I mean probably a prick if he was the opposing lawyer in a trial, but he seems like, if you had him on your side, you'd feel good about him. Dean: That's exactly true. I need to reread that again. That how to argue and win every time is one of my top wisdom books. Dan: Yeah, Anyway what did we cover today? What are two or three things that we covered today? Dean: So follow the money, follow the money. Dan: Yeah, we found out about what the Hamas is about. All the money was in Kedr, you know the country of. Kedr. The three top people were worth 6 billion, 5 billion and 4 billion. So that's what Hamas is all about is about money, you know, and their racket. Dean: That's amazing. Dan: Anyway, yeah, but okay, follow the money. What's in the other thing? Dean: Yeah, I think your strategy. It's always amazed me this last five years of your disconnecting from programming. Dan: Yeah other people's programming. Dean: Other people's programming. Yeah. Dean: I think that's a big thing. One thing we did not get to talk about that I want to maybe present next time is I watched another Russell Barclay video and they're talking about executive function and the. It's really an interesting distinction but the difference between you know what and how, knowing what and how is not effective. That the ADHD brain is not. It's not inhibited in the knowing what and how to do. It's the when and the where. That is where executive function comes in and I found that that's absolutely the truth in a real. It sounds so simple and obvious, but it's the absolute truth. That's the thing about you know. Imagine if you applied yourself. Applying yourself is only evidence in the when and the where, both where, when and where. Future and when and where is this going to happen and when and where did it happen? You know what actually happened. That's the an often those don't align. I find for me that's the biggest. That's the biggest disconnect is knowing what I want to do, knowing what you know, how it needs to happen, even projecting when and where, but the alignment of you know missing the exit kind of be interesting with the intention. Dan: That'd be an interesting question, yeah because, the appropriateness of things is really not the what or the how the appropriateness is really the when and where it makes appropriate or inappropriate, you know yeah. Yeah, great topic. Dean: Yeah, how about for you? What was your take away from today? Dan: Yeah, I think that the big thing that I'm zeroing in is the bet that human nature is fairly constant and that changing times simply means humans using different capabilities that they've already developed for new purposes, but the basic human nature remains fairly constant, and the more I mean it was, you know, was Jeff Bezos was asked what do you think's going to change most in the next 10 years, and he said the thing I'm most interested in what are the 10 things that aren't going to change? Yeah next 10 years, because you can actually bet on those. Yeah bet on those better than what is going to change Awesome. Dean: Well. Dan: I think we, I think we, each of us, says on our part today I think so Absolutely. Dean: I can't believe it. Let this quickly Alas, it did so, yeah, and. Dan: I'm we're in the schedule for Albie in Chicago next week. But we're in the schedule, so I'll talk to you from Chicago. Dean: I love it. That sounds great. All right, happy New Year, dan, to you and Babs. Have a wonderful night. Okay, we'll talk to you soon. Bye.

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Shakespeare in Love: Iambic & Missionary

Tossed Popcorn

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2024 52:23 Transcription Available

Shall I compare thee to a summer's slay? Enter stage left for drama club sex eye, well-made wigs, and, as is tradition on this list: Colin Firth. The person most confused by the film this week was: Siena. It was Siena.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

movies england film comedy shakespeare love stories missionary 1990s gwyneth paltrow movie reviews colin firth elizabethan classic films film criticism shakespeare in love joseph fiennes iambic romeo & juliet

Then What?

Lead Like a Woman

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 28, 2023 42:36

Maeve Wang is the Co-founder and CEO of IAMBIC, a tech-driven footwear company that reimagines the shoe manufacturing process. With 10 years of experience in strategy, market research, and entrepreneurship, she strives to bring personalization and innovation to the traditionally mass-produced footwear industry. Maeve has worked with Fortune 500 companies and invested in wellness, wearables, and data analytics technologies. She is a recipient of the US National Science Foundation grant for IAMBIC's groundbreaking footwear. In this episode… The startup landscape is dominated largely by white men. So when women and minorities try to acquire funding for a new venture, they often face criticism. One Asian-American woman defied the odds to execute an innovative and passionate vision. After noticing her feet changing shape and growing bunions from traditional footwear, Maeve Wang struggled to find specialty shoes to support her feet. What began as a mission to develop an accurate size-prediction tool for footwear blossomed into technology-driven shoes that conform to consumers' feet. Yet this journey was met with judgment about Maeve's identity as a minority entrepreneur, leading her to doubt her capabilities. Through mentorship, encouragement, and a supportive team, Maeve launched substantial ideas with conviction. On today's episode of the Lead Like a Woman Show, Andrea Heuston welcomes Maeve Wang, the Co-founder and CEO of IAMBIC, to discuss her mission-driven journey. Maeve shares how she fuses art and science to revolutionize traditional shoe manufacturing, the origin story behind one of IAMBIC's most notable inventions, and how to build a passionate and collaborative team.

Ep112: The Hidden Links Between AI and Media Evolution

Welcome to Cloudlandia

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 27, 2023 54:00

In today's Welcome to Cloudlandia episode, we embark on an intriguing exploration of the realm of AI and technology. We examine fascinating experiments involving text conversion to a unique speech structure that aligns with your heartbeat. Lastly, we delve into discussions around marketing education and share snippets from our upcoming trip. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS We discuss the transformative impact of artificial intelligence on content creation, exploring how it's being utilized in Hollywood and our personal experiment of converting a book chapter into Iambic Contameter with the help of AI and a Shakespearean actor. Dean highlights a fascinating experiment conducted in the Soviet Union where foxes were genetically modified into dogs, shedding light on the intriguing topic of canine intelligence and their comprehension of human language. Dan and I delve into the evolution of television, discussing its early stages where it was used to re-enact radio shows, and its transition to the current landscape of diverse media platforms like Facebook. We share insights on the challenges of implementing strategies in businesses and how we've addressed them in our own ventures, highlighting our successful thought leadership newsletter and real estate accelerator program. Dan emphasizes the importance of normalizing new technological advancements in the realm of AI, arguing that the future doesn't arrive until we've normalized it. We touch on the concept of hierarchy versus network in corporations and ponder on the potential obsolescence of middle management jobs due to AI advancements. We discuss the role of AI in marketing strategy, underlining the significance of identifying high margin products and generating leads for potential customers. We express concern over the current state of higher education and speculate on its potential crisis in the face of rising vocational training and AI. We delve into the future of work and systems, discussing how AI is making certain jobs obsolete, particularly in the middle white-collar sector, and how it's affecting the education system. Finally, we briefly discuss our upcoming trip to Buenos Aires, sharing our excitement and some interesting facts about the time difference and geographical position of South America. Links: WelcomeToCloudlandia.com StrategicCoach.com DeanJackson.com ListingAgentLifestyle.com TRANSCRIPT (AI transcript provided as supporting material and may contain errors) Dan: Wow. Dean: Mr Sullivan, wow, yes, Recorded entrance grad it's so good. We're living in increasingly turbulent times. Dan: That's true, but I'll tell you what the great thing about it is. At this particular moment, at this particular outpost in the mainland, it's the absolute perfect temperature. The fourth season of the Valhalla, absolutely like room temperature, with a slight breeze, quiet, six, perfect. Dean: Well, at our global domination compound in Toronto, we're having a perfect whole day. Dan: A whole domination compound. That is true. Dean: I don't want to own the whole thing, I don't want to own the whole world, I just want all the property next to mine. Dan: I was excited about your idea of getting the house behind you to have that whole drive through, but they give it up on that. Dean: That might bring the furies down on us. So far we've escaped scrutiny, anyway, yeah. Well, one thing that I thought would be interesting is kind of a Cloudlandia. It's that Taylor Swift's movie, her tour movie, has done, I think, worldwide with you, as down 150 million in two weeks and both weeks. Dan: Yeah, she's only playing it Thursday to Sunday because she doesn't want kids neglecting homework, so she doesn't. You can't go see it on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. You can only go see it. Dean: Well, I think she neglected hers and where she is Exactly, but I think she's alone Brilliant, I mean the fact that her tour alone. Dan: Her live tour was one of the biggest tours ever. Now the recording of it. I think she's going to make another billion dollars with it. Dean: Yeah, but the interesting thing about it is she bypassed Hollywood altogether which is the mainland, and they just wanted their 20% for being Hollywood, and she just bypassed it. And that comes right after the strike that shut everything down, for one of the griefs being, of course, being live streaming, the other one probably being the AI that's replacing a lot of the 80% work in Hollywood. In other words, first draft scripts and everything else can now get done with AI, and then you bring in the craftsman to actually, you know, take it the final 20%, yeah, and these are definitely. Dan: I think that's a seed there, true. I think that's especially true, dan, for content. You know, let's call it streaming or television or documentary content, that is, book report content. That is like writing a. You know, if we were to do a documentary about the you know evolution of print starting with Putin or starting with the you know Chinese on papyrus, you know back in 1012 or whatever, A long time ago, that I think that that would be the kind of thing where AI would be able to write a script research, write a script. That would be 80% of what you would need to do a compelling documentary about that, compared to the creative act of creating something new. You know, I don't know. Dean: Yeah it's really interesting. On a previous episode I told you about the little experiment I'm doing with converting my chapters of this particular book. So this is my book number 36 and the 36th quarter, and it's called Everything, everyone and Everything Grows. That's the name of the book. It's the backstage. It's the backstage description of strategic coach since 1989. We put our backstage together and as I was going through, I've been reading a lot of books on Shakespeare and there's something consciousness altering about the speech structure that they used. It wasn't just Shakespeare, it was of the time. It was, you know, around 1600 in Great Britain. It was called Iambic Contameter and it was 10 beats per line. Okay, and Mike Canig's, knowing that I'm interested in this, sent an article which has to do with they've scientifically proved that Iambic Contameter actually your heart, matches the beats. After you listen to a minute or two somebody doing Iambic Contameter, your heartbeat gets in sync with it. The 10 beats. Dan: Is that right? Dean: Yeah, because it's thumb, you know, and anyway. So I had. I've got a great team member by the name of Alex Barley, and Alex is from the UK, he lives in Toronto but he was actually born in Sherwood. Born and grew up in Sherwood Forest which is an interesting fact. Yeah, sherwood Forest is a big area and then among the trees there's seven little towns and he was born in one of the towns. Dan: And his father actually has. Dean: His father actually has a club that opened in 1604. Dan: So and remember we have. We have someone in strategic culture. Does those forests getaways? Dean: or has Gary Fletcher? He's in Friso. Dan: He's actually yeah, yeah. Dean: Yeah and anyway. So I had him take a chapter that was on unique ability and unique ability teamwork and I had him converted into Iambic Contameter. And it was startling to get it back, because all the ideas are there but the ideas are put together in a different way. And it was just. I just found it fascinating and I said, boy, if I had a really great Shakespearean actor, you know, somebody who could really speak the language and listen to it rather than just, yeah, reading it. So I was talking to Alex about it and I said my favorite would be Richard Birkin, okay, and? And he said, see, I really wouldn't know how to do that. So we went to Mike Canix and Mike knew how to do it. And so Mike gave Alex a couple sites where you could go to and experiment with them. And about two days later from the time of my request to Alex, I got back Richard Burton. And it was Richard Burton, it was totally Richard Burton, and I've listened to it about 15, 15 times, and every time I listen to it it has a greater impact. And I played it for team members and the team members say, boy, I'd like to have that to listen to before I go to bed at night and everything like that. And so I asked him and did it. You know, when you first made the translation, in other words, you had the AI voice he says no, it was just, it was just sort of mechanical. And he says so what I did is I got actual recordings of Richard Burton and I would listen to it and then I would go through and I would change the timing, I would change. And he says I put in some breath intakes and he said I would you know? He says he rushes ahead, then he speeds up, and then he does it's very unpredictable with Richard Burton and he did this all. So it's actually AI times. The craftsman. Dan: That's a. Dean: B percent plus the human craftsman, you know, because a human ear, you know, just has infinitely greater sensitivity to how things actually work than they calculated. You know a mechanical thing and went to it. It went to deliver it evenly. Dan: You know and. Dean: Richard Burton in particular, has the way of making words explode just by saying the word and then he was kind of built a delivery to William Shatner in a way like different. Yeah but I had never put yeah, I'd never put William Shatner and Richard together in my brain, yeah but the interesting thing about it. The interesting thing about it was we've done two chapters now and you could see Alex is getting more inventive and you know, and he's really getting into the poetry and it's in rhyme. So with iambic pentameter. You can have it as prose or you can have it as rhyme and. I said well, since we're going the route of Richard Burton, I should put it in. But I was struck because I'm only going to use this for backstage with coach. I'm only going to use this with, and the Baron of the Four Seasons, valhalla, I might talk to the warlord talk to the warlord there, I mean, because he's almost backstage, anyway, anyway, but it just does something. But what I'm noticing is changing my writing style as I go forward, because I've got that voice in my ear and I'm writing that to sort of meet the voice halfway, you know halfway. Dan: Oh, that's right. Dean: Yeah that it's an easy pick up. I mean I can't talk like that, I don't sound like that and everything, but it's how I am doing. My writing has been changing as I've listened listening to Richard Burton telling me what it sounds like in Shakespeare's age. Dan: This is. You know, a couple of things jump out at me. You know, as you're talking about that and Alex's joy in tinkering, and you know it's a creative act. Using these, using owning technology like a good dog yes, Right. That's really what he's doing there. Dean: Yeah. Dan: And it reminded me of Peter Diamand is talking about these cent powers, the chess masters, paired with an AI that they can override or direct or run things by, or amplify their calculations or confirm their hunches. That's really the way forward, isn't it? It seems like that's the. Dean: Well, what it suggests is that if you're a mechanical human being, this new form of mechanical will wipe you out, but if you decide to take refuge in being creative, they'll probably just offer you a deal. Dan: Yeah, I mean it's interesting, what's there? There are a hybrid for this, like a creative machine or a. I mean there's something here, because even the AI is not doing it on its own. Some people are going to distance themselves. What we've seen mechanics do is distance themselves as a skilled operator of these new advantages. Dean: Yeah, it's really interesting. There was an interesting lab test that was done in the Soviet Union before the collapse of the Soviet Union. It was that they wanted to see if they could turn a fox, turned foxes, into dogs. They could do it through basically two-year generations. In other words, a fox had two years old as a fully grown fox. So you just have a two-year from birth to adulthood and they went through 10 generations where each generation they picked a fox that was more docile, it didn't have aggressive, it wasn't paranoid, it was sort of friendly and docile. And by the 10th generation, the genetic product GMO, had enormous number of dog characteristics. It was friendly, it would come up and it would take dog characteristics and they decided to put the dog fox or the fox dog and an actual dog and they chose I think it was a German shepherd, and they put it through a and this. They had it in the puppy stage, so it was about six to eight months old, and they put it through an obstacle course that they was designed so that the animal couldn't solve it. They would hit a wall where they just couldn't solve it. And it was very interesting that the fox dog, when confronted with the final barrier, just curled up, went feral. He just went into a, wrapped himself up. He was just defeated and he wrapped up. The moment that the dog actually hit the thing he turned around and he searched out his owner and he says hey buddy, hey buddy, I need your help here. Okay, your turn, yeah. And they said they don't know if they can teach that, they don't know if they can. Actually they can genetically. Dan: I was just writing. It's funny when you said that I was writing down nature versus nurture. But what was it that they change it genetically to modify it? But were they also? But they didn't, they couldn't Domesticated it. Dean: They couldn't genetically reproduce the teamwork that's probably part of the inheritance of dogs. In other words, they trace it back 30,000 years since humans domesticated wolves to produce dogs, and that's a lot of generations of canines. And anyway, but it tells me kind of that's why I wrote the book Owning Technology Like a Great Dog is that we've got We've got this 30,000 year experience in the animal stew of kind of working out teamwork with dogs and certain breeds are better, certain breeds are good for this, certain breeds are good for that and we've kind of developed kind of a real deep knowledge. And they can do about 150 different tasks at this stage. Some of them can know as much as a thousand words. If you say a word, they know exactly what it refers to. It always refers to an object. It refers to an activity. They're not high on the concept level, I hope they have a good memory of. Dan: Have you seen those? Yeah, and there's concepts of people setting up all these buttons on their floor that are labeled that a dog can push the yellow thing and it says a single word like walk, and so it knows to push that when it wants to go for a walk or a treat it can push treat, and I wondered about whether that, I mean it, seems real. So you're kind of confirming that they are able to build that kind of vocabulary. Dean: Yeah, there was a professor in, I think, south Carolina. He was near retirement and he was a psychology professor and he just wanted to see how many words and he got sort of a border collie type. Border collies are just super smart and they're super responsive. And he got the dog to a thousand words of everyday objects. The dog you could. He knew all the dog's names, of all the dogs in the neighborhood, and the dog had a very definite opinion about each one of them. Dan: So he said Max. Dean: If he said Max, his tail would wag, and if he said Irving, it would just go. Dan: Doesn't like Irving. Dean: First of all, you know right off the bat that a dog gets named Irving. It probably has a difficult environment. Why would you do that? But Fred Feisman I don't know if you've ever met him. He's a coach client, probably 15 years. Dan: He's in 10 times. Dean: And he was a cowboy in British Columbia for 10 years. Where every May he and another cowboy would take out 3,000 head of cattle and move them through elevations of pasture land. So in British Columbia you can have 4 levels of 4 levels, you know, geological levels, okay, and that would take them out to the high grazing area and then they would gradually bring them in. And so it was Fred. It was a partner and a dog. And I said if you had to lose one of them, the dog or the partner, which one, which one would you lose? He said lose the partner, just me and the dog could take care of all 3,000. Because the dog always knew which steer was the lead steer and would get the lead steer. He also knew the route. He also knew the route and plus he checked for predators like wolves, coyotes, bears and everything else, and you know, would you apply? Dan: Why are tigers? Dean: and bears. Oh my yeah. Dan: Yeah. Dean: And so, but it was really interesting. He said a great trail dog is it's you know. He says you can't put a price on how good they are, but they're not doing anything more than they were taught. Dan: Right, yeah, that's interesting. I just got my. I got a I bought with my copy of how they use technology like a good dog. I don't own technology like a good dog, so I'm looking forward to reading it. I mean, yeah, that's really about Gotten to dive in there. Dean: Ownership. I mean, it's not a question of owning technology or owning your dog you actually own your rights, right, yeah, and you know, it's really about ownership more than it's about dogs or technology. You know, but the big thing is that I think that in learning how to interact with AI, we're going to learn about learn a lot about what human intelligence actually is. I think we're going to learn more from this interaction than we've learned from all the psychological studies possible, because it's going to be interactive all the time against the best result, you know, and correspondingly, I mean we'll have more knowledge about it, but more knowledge about us will be built into the programming of the AI. Dan: Have you seen anything recently that has wowed you or changed your opinion about the usefulness or the future of AI? Like this, like in terms of sounds, like your Richard Burton experience has shaped some new enthusiasm. Dean: Well, what I get is that all the breakthroughs will be specific. It'll be individual and specific. So right now I don't know how many in the first two or three months, you know, plugged into chat, gpt, and then, of course, there's hundreds of other there's hundreds of others, specialized AI, and my sense is that it's transforming the world, but there would be no overview on how that's happening, because it's happening in a hundred million different situations in a different way. Dan: So if anything so the ability to have an oversight or an overview of this, I think it was impossible on day one, yeah, and it reminded me of like, as I was kind of reflecting on it is I mean the use that I'm using of. Dean: Who would think of that? And right, there wouldn't be anyone else, that would even well. If, why would you do that? And I said I found it kind of neat. Dan: Yeah, you know I was looking at it, thinking back on like this, as one of the major things of the big change of 1975 to 2025 that. Ai as the platform. I don't know whether platform is the right word or what it is just like. Television was a. That was the big capability that was brought and started out with. You know, just the ability to, you know, have the three national channels and broadcast things. But in the earliest stages of television, nobody really knew what to do with it in, in that they were just bringing radio to television. They were re-enacting, like turn the camera on and do radio theater. Dean: Yeah yeah, I mean, I remember the 1950s sort of programs that were kind of dramatic and they'd have the opening of the curtain. They'd have the opening of the curtains, you know, and because they well, they're putting on a show. Dan: So what do you do? Dean: Well, you, but yeah, and. But here's the thing that the networks were still networks that were broadly shared, you know they were in competition with each other. But it was. You were on one network, you're on the network, I think, with you're on a billion different networks you know, and each of them each of the networks is being uniquely custom designed for particular purposes by particular people for you know, and everything like that, and my sense is the whole notion that there's going to be an overarching system like Facebook or something like that. I don't see that happening. Dan: I mean. Dean: I'm guessing embedding. And you know, I'm guessing embedding, just like everyone else. But I don't really care how other people are using it, I only care how I'm going to use it. Dan: Yeah yeah, yeah, I think that's and you probably got. You've probably cornered the market on turning thinking tools into Richard Burton. Readings of Iambic pentameter. Dean: Yeah, you know, I want to see if anybody's trailing me, and I haven't picked up on anything so far. Dan: It's a blue ocean strategy. Dean: Yeah, the other one we're doing. I don't know if you know Joe Stolti. He's. Joe is the runner of the. You know, the AI newsletter that Evan Pagan and Peter Diamand. Dan: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Joe 100K yeah. Yeah. Dean: So I met, I met Joe at 100K and he just said what it will do, and so we've been going. Now I think we've got 12 episodes out and they do an interview with you online. You know thought leadership, other people you like, articles you like and everything else. And then they keep fine tuning what it is that you really want. But our last we've had in the last seven episodes we've had five of them with more than an 80% open rate for the entire issue. And then, and we had one I had one interview. It was a podcast interview with Mike Canix. We got a 95% open rate. Okay. Dan: That's wild. Dean: And it takes no work on our part. It creates the issue you know, so it gives you the results from your previous issue and then it shows you what the next issue is, based on the rates of the last issue. But, you're learning a lot about what we're learning a lot about what people really like listening to and what they like. You know, so it's an interesting thing. Dan: And he's great to work with. Dean: I really like him and his team. So yeah, it's called dailycom, I think it's called dailycom. Okay, yeah, it's great, yeah, it's great, and I mean we'll put out probably. Dan: Well, you like the idea of not having to do anything. That's happening. That's pretty good Well it's all existing creativity. Dean: A lot of it is existing articles that's existing. So we're repurposing I mean, we're getting a repurpose out of existing articles and all the content is original content. Dan: You know I love that I'm just realizing that's for guessing and betting people's fondness for things that do the things they would like to do, especially if it's things that they would do if they could count on them to do it. You know, that's kind of a there's a good thing there. We recently in my Go agent world here our realtor we've launched the new real estate accelerator program. Where we're actually doing it's a who, not how, model of implementing the listing agent lifestyle elements in someone's business. So I've created that framework of the you know core five things that people you know the bankable results that they can get referrals and multiply their listings, get convert leads, find buyers, get listing. Those things I've got you know core programs and shortcuts and programs for them to do them. I was having in conversation with Diane, the who kind of runs that division with me, she I was saying you know, what we've been doing is we've been selling gym memberships essentially to Go agent, where we've got all of the stuff, all the tools, all the IP, everything you need to implement it, and you just come on in and access it and do what you do what you want, and we observe that very few people you know actually do the stuff that we know, this is the secret sauce of gym memberships 40% never go up. They pay for the whole year and never show up once. That's exactly so. We're running that same model and for someone you know, I like to see people get the results, you know. And so I've been doing these you know workshops where I thought, okay, we'll do these implementation workshops where we'll spend you know five weeks and we'll do a weekly session on each of the things as like a booster to get you focused on here's what to do, kind of thing. And I observed we've done that for a year and realized that improves the, that improves the implementation, but still overwhelmingly people are not able to rally themselves to do the things that they know to do. And so we decided, well, what if we just did it for them? And I recorded a video. I said you know? I said you know, I realized that I would be a really great real estate VA if I came to work for you and did all the things that I know in your business. And I said I know how to. I've been spending 35 years putting all of these pieces together and I know exactly what to do. And I went through and I outlined here's what I would do if I came into your business, because I realized that really we could implement all of it in somebody's business with one synchronous 30 minute, you know, check in at a fixed time with somebody that would then see, you know, three to five hours of implementation in a week, kind of thing for it and I was sharing it that it's like having a personal trainer instead of just a gym membership. You're meeting a personal trainer at the gym and the difference is that we're going to do the six, the sit ups, and you're going to get the six pack. That's really how the difference and every single person I've talked to, dan is on board with this, because of course you're selling the reward. We do the sit ups, you get the six pack. Dean: Yeah, you're selling the. You're selling the impact without the effort. Dan: Exactly right. Dean: Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, yeah but you know there's still. I bet, if you work out your percentages, even that people won't go for. You know, because they have an escape from fantasy land about who they are and what they want to achieve. You know, one of the things that Peter Diamanas has the sixties regarding the digital revolution you know digitize the deceptive, the demonetization, dematerialization. There's democratization yeah, yeah well as the sixth one, I'm saying yeah, it's democratization in that the possibility as democratic, the utilization follows the same as anything that 10% will outdo 90%. Dan: Yeah, I think that's true. You know there's so many everybody. That's a really interesting thing that there's just like in truth. You know, in political democracy there's opportunity, but not everybody takes advantage of it. Everybody has the opportunity to have a YouTube channel and reach the entire world, but there's only one, mr B. Dean: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and you know, he's number two in the YouTube world. I think there's somebody who's got more. I don't know who it is, but he's got the last one. I heard 201 million subscribers, followers 201 million. Dan: Yeah, I think he's the number one individual. I think, yeah, yeah. Dean: Yeah, yeah. Well, it's very interesting. You know the good for a young guy. You know, yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah, you know he's got a future, this guy. He's going places, you know you can tell him almost right away. He can tell him almost. you just get a feel Anyway the but the thing that I'm talking about, you know, I mean, the thing that I'm feeling is that I had a line one day. Peter Diamonis and I were going back and forth and he was talking about the future this, the future that, and I said you know what I've noticed about the future? When you get there, it feels normal. Dan: Yes. Dean: Huh, as a matter of fact, it doesn't arrive until you've normalized it. Dan: Yeah, can you say more about that, because that led you to that Well we don't like abnormal. Dean: Humans don't like abnormal. They like normal. Okay, and if you're asking them to do something new, that's different. Uh you have to show them how to go through a normalization process where they get used to it. You know they get used to it and that's why I've been noticing that tech. Every company right now has to appoint a chief AI officer. A chief AI officer Ooh Dean, where would this person be? You know, I mean, where would this person? I mean, I mean, do you even have room or space for a chief AI officer? Okay, and I said no. I said why don't you just bring in somebody smart who shows your entire team how they particularly, and what they're doing can do this or that or this and this and let them lose, you know, and see what comes out of it and see what comes out of it? And why don't you just have self-empowered you know, self-empowered team members, you know in person or virtual, you know, or remote, and just have them say, you know is, where could, what's the 20% that if you could get rid of it, which is it still needs to get done, what would it be? And then say, well, there's an AI program that can do this, or is an AI program do this. They get that 20% done. They say, well, what's the next 20%? And just keep them going for 50 years. Dan: Yeah, and that's what. That's the approach. Dean: We don't have a chief AI officer. First of all, we don't have anyone who's called chief and we don't have anyone who's called officer, because that sounds like had chief officer, you know, I think the Gestapo had chief something officer, you know, you know, and everything. I don't like cheap something officer, I just don't like the sound of it. Dan: That's not good for anybody. Dean: Oh, you know, right off the bat I get the willies. Dan: That's funny. Yeah, let's say so. How? What are you doing in that, then? Do you have someone whose role is helping the team become a no, we brought in Evan Ryan. Dean: He did a six module course how to think it through and then he's off and running, you know, and he checks in and you know with the latest stuff of if they're doing this and they can look at that. So we have. You know, we have a already operating system in the company that's called unique ability teamwork. You know, everybody's in their unique ability and everybody's doing a different aspect of necessary activity in the company and they're all coordinating with each other. So it's virtually impossible for us to have a chief something officer, because that's not the way the company works. Dan: Right, not a hierarchy. Dean: It's not a hierarchy, it's a network. Dan: Yeah, that's interesting, I mean. Dean: I'm not even. I'm not even chief. It's just that Dan has certain unique abilities. He's really good at coming up with new stuff. So where do you get, you know, any, especially new stuff that's offered to the public and we get paid for it, you know. Right so you know, you know, I'm not a boss in any meaningful way, except I'm the one to define what the next projects are. Yeah, but oh hefe Right, yeah, I think corporations are going to have real hard time with this. I think anything that's a hierarchy and because there's one person at the top and there's a lot of middle people down to the bottom and I get a sense it's useful at the very top and it's used at the very, but in the middle I think all those jobs are fair game to get rid of. Dan: Have you been following Salim? Well, not new, but kind of expansion on the exponential organizations, like you're seeing. Dean: Yeah, I spent two days with him and you know, 100K? Yeah, because we were out to dinner on Friday night and we were sitting together and talking about it. But you know, the model is from my standpoint. It's a big organization model. It's not really. I mean because you got about 13 things that you have to check off and you and I personally are done after three. Dan: Right, yeah, it requires somebody who's like it almost feels like just achieve an exponential. That's what I was just going to say. Yeah, yeah it almost needs to be, I mean. Dean: I like Salim's a great guy to talk to. Yeah great thing. But I think he gets the big bucks from the big corporations. I don't think he gets the. You know he doesn't get the money like we get the money at the, not from entrepreneurs right, we're street level. Dan: We're street level. Men are the people really? Yeah, we're house lawyers. Oh, my goodness, it's so fun again. You know I get such joy out of that. You know, like the I've been. You know I go to a cafe here called Honeycomb Bread Bakers and they you know one of you learn the crowd and the people there was. There used to be a coffee shop called N plus, one which was the yeah yeah, so I would go there all the time and N plus, that was pre COVID, wasn't it? Dean: That was pre COVID. Dan: And yeah, and during COVID. Dean: Yeah, let's say kind of hit the wall during. Dan: They didn't really recover from that in terms of it being a profitable business. They were attached to their bike shop, which was the main, and the idea is invite. Yeah, the idea was N plus one is the equation, for you know how many coffees should you have, which is N equal the number of coffees you've had today Plus one. That's how many. Dean: And so I got to know the owner, Peter Zion, was saying that when you lived on a farm you had as many children as you could plus one. And somebody asked him well, what's the plus one for? To know that you've had too many. Same thing with coffee, I think. Dan: You know, the fun thing is that riding a bicycle is a decidedly mainland adventure and they serve an area and the 15 mile zone. What are you calling it? The bubble. Dean: you know, and do they have like bike paths and everything? Dan: Oh, there's like paths all over Winterhaven. Yeah, lots of great places. But, so over coffee a couple of weeks ago he was asking for some marketing advice. Like think I mean to ramp things up. I went through this concept of you know the before, the during and the after unit and you know largest check and I could ask you know what's the best if I could just line people up the door right now? Who would you want? What would what's the highest margin thing? And it was eBikes is the thing. Yeah, I said so. I have a learning that I've had from working with a bathroom boutique client in Miami and I've learned from doing this that putting a catalog together is a really great lead generator. Right Objective data is all, rather than trying to convince people that they should buy a bike and put there because they were running ads that were like, hey, where's the bike shop? Here we are, we're in Winterhaven and you know bikes are great kind of thing. Getting their name out there and I shared with him the concept of and value of getting their name in here rather than getting your name out there. Let's get the names, let's gather the names of everybody who's interested in e-bikes and I proposed putting together this e-bike catalog with them, and so we did that. We put that on my Facebook. I put up the ads forum and we're generating e-book our e-bike catalog downloads for $1.66 each. So he said to him like you put this in the thing it's like for let's just give some room for improvement for our cost of the ads to go up. But let's say that we can get 100 people to metaphorically raise their hand and say, hey, I'm interested in an e-bike for $150. We can get 100 of them to raise their hand and his average margin on an e-bike is around $600 to $700. And so it doesn't take many of those to engage with and them to buy a bike. It's kind of funny. It's like that I still I get as much joy out of that as doing something with a big national company that's got. Dean: I think the big thing that I'm getting and this is not going cloud landing discussion is you're growing understanding of exactly who you want to talk to and the continual evolution of people knowing exactly who they want to hear Actually, who they want to hear and that bypasses an incredible amount of bureaucracy, I mean if you think about the sheer amount of bureaucracy In my sense, is that the current extreme polarization in what's called polarization, political polarization and cultural polarization, is that I think that the probably three or four generations who took the root of high education, so in other words, starting in nursery school, they were competing to get into a great kindergarten and compete to get into a great primary school, to get into a great university, to get into a great high school which got you to the university and the graduate school, that they're imperiled. I think that they're imperiled. On the other hand, an 18 year old who, after graduation with no thought of university at all takes a 10 week welding certification course, is making anywhere between 60 and 100,000 at the end of the, and he's the buyer or she's the buyer. She's the buyer because and probably you know within 10 years they're making a million. They're making a million and they're bypassing the higher education. All because the higher education is about abstractions, but AI is about extreme specificity. It's about extreme specificity and I think that a lot of the uprising on universities and the polarization and the cancel culture is they don't want to hear news about anything else except what they've been promised lies at the end of the rainbow the abstraction rainbow, and it's just a general unsettling. You know and and I mean think about it you were in school from four years old to, let's say, 26 years old and have run up. I mean it cost you an incredible amount if you could pay for it, or it cost you an incredible amount and you know loans and you're a quarter million, or 400, a quarter million, or you're $400,000 in debt when you graduate. Dan: Yeah, yeah. Dean: And then you learn that there's a new technology that's just going to make everything you did for the last 22 years irrelevant, including you. Dan: Yeah, yeah, right, right, right. Dean: So my sense is that it's the middle white collar, you know the whole middle white collar, part of the economy that's going to get clobbered but not at the high end, where people are really creative, or at the end, where people are really handy. You know where people are really handy. Dan: I think that they're completely safe, even things like you know legal associates, like people who are, you know, in big law firms. You know the first session year both the involved do, slaving away in the library looking up case law. Dean: Yeah, or contract contract, you know, yeah, and I mean there's somebody that a test of a particular deed on a particular property in another state that required about inputs from about seven different things, which generally takes about three and a half to four weeks to get the whole three, and the AI program did it in like 15 minutes start to finish and it was completely accurate and I mean it was really really sort of had involved and it's blessed entry. Dan: Very well. So what do these have? Like the Pretty amazing, isn't it? I mean well, like we're living in the future, it's we're normalizing that. Dean: Well, we're normalizing it on an individual basis, we're not normalizing it on a group basis. Dan: Yeah, yeah, I think that it's only the front runners you mean that are Seeing that? Dean: no, it's just an alert, curious, responsive, resourceful individual who's got a particular thing in mind. And they found those new way of multiplying their Productivity, multiplying their profitability you know and you know. So yeah, but see, everybody I had, I was, we were in Chicago last week and we have a G, you know, in general practice she's an internist and she's our. Chicago doorway to any kind of specialty that we need, you know, specialty medicine. And she's going concierge November oh nice tonight and and Because we've been with her for about 15 years, you know and. I can tell that the weight of the Disease management Industry is weighing down on her. Dan: We don't have a healthcare system. Dean: What we have is a disease management. Right you know and and so, and I could tell she was lighter. I mean, she's had this light, energetic feel about her and welcome to the entrepreneurial world. You know, welcome. I said you get paid for what you ask. You know you get paid for what you asked. And she says well, you know, I'm really worried about the fact that the people who Don't have the access to you and I said you were worried about that before, I said 99.9% of you didn't have access to you you know, before this happened, including you didn't have access to you before this. Now you get access to you and I said that's the only change here. And I said there but You're going to get pickier and pickier about who gets to see you and everything. And I said it's just very natural. And she says yeah, but the whole system, I mean how? I said her name's on me and I said I mean there is no system, the biggest, there are 10 million systems and you're one of them. You're a planet, planet, I said. The biggest fallacy is this is industrial thinking from 1900 to 1950, that there's a system, there is no system. You know, and I said there there are no systems, there's just. There's just connected local neighborhoods. Dan: So you're what you're saying really reminds me of of Ray Dalio's you know understanding of the market and saying how you know the way we talk about the auto market, what that really is just an aggregate Construct of all the individual micro transactions. Oh yeah one person buying one car, and you're saying the same, that I feel that Same way that there's no system. The system is just made up, yeah, of this aggregate of the individual micro transactions between one person with Very precise medical needs, seeking them from one person. Dean: Yeah. Yeah, yeah and the it's like climate. There is no climate people said yeah, and I said the climate is just a 360 day average of what the temperatures were. You know, yeah, and what the precipitation was and what the wind was, every day being entirely different from the other 364 and in order to get some sense of it. You call it, you average it and we got to have a name for that, so they call it climate. There is no climate, there's just a lot of temperature, right right right. There's just a lot of weather. I've only experienced weather. I've never experienced climate. Dan: Climate is this. Dean: System weather is reality. Yeah, so I think the whole notion of systems, you know, you know, I mean there's some big tools which are being used in common, but you know, like, the dollar is the reserve currency rate you know, and and everything else, but everybody's using dollars differently. They're using dollars for different reasons. You know and, and or English, the English language, and there's no uniparty around the world. There's about a hundred different versions of English. You know because it's it's the one language that you can get along Extremely well-speaking, badly. Dan: That's funny. Yeah, yeah, true, can't do that with can't do that with French. Dean: I can tell you, you can't do that with French. Yeah, but that's the language of romance. Yeah, so why did you get out of this? I mean, we windered a bit today, which is our favorite activity Absolutely. Dan: I think that's. I think that's fantastic. I haven't thought about the relationship between the system and the market in that parallel way that Ray Dalio and I think that really, you know it does come down to you know, being able that's really what it is being able to use whatever means to get an outcome for People. You know I'm bullish about the future here. Dean: Yeah, now I'm just trying to think I can do it next week, because, no, I can't do it next week. I'm on my way to Nashville next week. So I but I can do it two weeks from now and I'll be in Buenos Aires, argentina. Dan: Okay. I will be here and I will be anxious to hear about your Buenos Aires experience. Will you have had the experience? When we talk? Dean: No, will you? Dan: be there. Dean: We got an overnight flight on Saturday Okay, weeks from now and and then it starts on Monday, so I'll this would be the. We're two hours ahead of you, so time-wise, buenos Aires is two hours ahead of where you are future and, yeah, all of South. Here's an interesting thing about you know where London Ontario is. Of course, because yeah lived halfway there. But anyway all of South America sits east of London, Ontario. Yeah wild right, you think it's underneath. North, I know it isn't it that goes way to the east? Actually, brazil is only a thousand miles from Africa. That's crazy. Yeah, two-hour flight from. Africa to Brazil. Dan: Yeah anyway, well then, I will be here with bells on and I will look forward to it. Dean: You know what? And we're both ten quick starts. We're both ADD. And that's a prescription. That's a prescription for no system. That's exactly right. Dan: They're like holy so all right. Okay, two weeks for me. Okay, okay, bye, bye, bye you.

How Maeve Wang wants to transform the footwear industry with AI

How to Build a Village

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2023 23:08

Maeve Wang, the Founder and CEO of footwear firm IAMBIC, joins Jill Martin Wrenn from New York to share how her company uses AI to create custom-fit shoes. Maeve also reveals the books that inspired her entrepreneurial journey. You can learn more about IAMBIC here.

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Episode 119: Line Breaks & The Iambic Lilt

Painted Bride Quarterly’s Slush Pile

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2023 58:06

When to break a line, Slushies. And why? What's the shape your poem takes, and how does the poem's form serve its complexities, subtleties, and heart? Three poems by Karl Meade are up for consideration in this episode of The Slush Pile, and they call the editors into conversation about trauma in literature, narrative (in)coherence as craft, and the pleasurable risks of stair-stepped stanzas. Poet L.J. Sysko joins the conversation on this episode of The Slush Pile as we discuss “Beach Fall,” “Christmas Break,” and “Doom Eager.” (If a tree falls in the woods, Slushies. Ammiright?) At the table: Kathleen Volk Miller, Marion Wrenn, L. J. Sysko, Jason Schneiderman, Samantha Neugebauer, Alex J. Tunney Karl Meade's work been published in many literary magazines, a few of which he didn't even donate heavily to, or previously serve as editor—including Literary Review of Canada, Tusculum Review, Arc Poetry Magazine, Grain Magazine, Chronogram, Umbrella Factory Magazine, Contemporary Verse 2, Event Magazine, The Fiddlehead, Open Letter, Under the Sun, and Dandelion. His work has also been mistakenly longlisted for four CBC Literary Prizes, shortlisted for The Malahat Review's Open Season Creative Nonfiction Award, and Arc Poetry Magazine's Poem of the Year. His novel, Odd Jobs, written as a solemn literary manifesto, was a finalist for the Foreword Reviews Book of the Year for Humor, and an iTunes Top 20 Arts and Literature podcast—“Laugh Out Loud,” one listener said of this grave work. Karl's chapbook “Doom Eager” has just been released in September 2023 by Raven Chapbooks, just in time for us to publish this podcast, which has waited longer than it should for release! Author website: www.karlmeade.com Guest Editor: L.J. Sysko L.J. Sysko's work has been published in Voicemail Poems, The Pinch, Ploughshares, Rattle, Best New Poets, and elsewhere. She is the author of a poetry chapbook, BATTLEDORE (Finishing Line Press, New Women's Voices series). Poetry honors include several Dorothy Sargent Rosenberg awards, two fellowships from Delaware's Division of the Arts, and poetry finalist recognition from The Fourth River, The Pinch, and Soundings East. Sysko holds an MFA in poetry from New England College. X: @lj_sysko Instagram: @lesliesysko Facebook: @lesliesysko Author website: http://www.ljsysko.com beach fall for Holli and Terry Mountain to stone, prairie to sand, redwood to ash, from here I can see the heart of the sea, but not the beach he fell on. I can see the picture window you sit in—waiting, watching the shore, iPad in lap, short-haired Flossy at your side, the one who dug your dad's water bottle from under him. I don't know why you brought his suitcase to his wake empty—what it was between you. Only he knew the words you could not say. The doctors' words for you—non-verbal, spectral—sent him back to rage. He said they weren't worth the hair on a dead chicken, that aut-ism was just too much self for them to take from you. He knew what his raging love could do: four hours a night on the couch, talking through your iPad. He called himself Manitoban, the prairie farm-boy who watched his dog run away for three days, the rain-man to lead you out, teach you how to mouth the O, the awe in Holli. Yes, from here I can see the redwoods fall, the mountains decay, his sea-bed— they say all the big hearts of the earth love where they fall, that his heart stopped before he hit the beach. But we both know why his mouth was full of sand. Christmas break for Doug and Arlene The earth heaves, the ice cleaves. Erosion cuts the heart from every stone, while every night I watch you drive your family past a starving glacier, turn from a truck laden with salt. You head off the head on, take the bumper to the heart, leave your family straining your lungs' last words from the floor of the minivan. I'm on the floor beneath my desk, straining to plug in the phone that I will blame for years: why did I plug it in? Every night I watch the driver's stoned eyes, petrified as your broken daughters in the back. Every night I piece you all back together: brake, I say, turn over and over while the glacier leaves its terminal moraine. I gather the stones, offer them to the moon, last witness to your last turn. I turn to your wife, try to face her head on with what the earth knows: core to crust, mouth to lung the rupture comes, the rupture stays. Every Christmas she wakes to the words brake, turn. doom eager* because one of us took a spike to the lung a minivan to the chest hit the beach with his heart to say nothing of the one whose only breath was broken water because I believe the hand, the wound, the moon is how I show you where I fell through the hole I thought I was diving for pearls through the green fuse of ice in my dream of you because I run naked through the forest on a moonless night with a penlight in the hand that broke my mother's heart waning at the seed of light the moon won't show me because its dark side calls all of us because I believe I'll find your heart in the east your marrow in the moon fever just before the sun rises I'll swim for it all day forgetting how the earth turns east south west circling all night forgetting there is no moon in the new moon because the only way out is my hand on your chest I walk the shore all night dream back the back of the moon because the only cure for the wound is the wound *after Ibsen, Graham, Moore: an Icelandic term for the isolation, restlessness, caughtness an artist experiences when sick with an idea

Ep. 168 – Maeve Wang: Revolutionizing Footwear with AI-Powered Custom Shoes

Beat the Often Path

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2023 57:49

Oooh, I know you're going to love this episode! Maeve Wang is a Harvard graduate and the CEO of IAMBIC, a company that uses AI to make truly customized shoes that are tailored to your exact foot. Finding shoes that fit, it turns out, is a big problem for 27% of the population and it affects a considerably larger percentage. It's not just about comfort and fashion, it's about health and fundamental wellbeing. Beyond that, Maeve has a remarkable personal story and career, as she left the corporate world to become an unlikely founder. ➡️ https://iambic.co/ ➡️ Highlights: https://rosspalmer.com/maeve-wang ➡️ Follow me on Instagram: @therosspalmer ➡️ Subscribe on YouTube: @therosspalmer

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INTERVIEW: Maeve Wang - Pivoting From Software to Footwear

The 10 Minute Entrepreneur

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2023 19:05

Maeve is Co-founder and CEO of IAMBIC, a next generation shoe brand delivering precision-fit shoes at scale through merging AI, smartphone scanning, and streamlined manufacturing—making footwear finally inclusive. iambic.co ig: weareiambic

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Bad Behavior And Doing Things Right

AWS Morning Brief

Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2023 3:58

Last week in security news: The ex-Ubiquiti engineer who stole a giant pile of their data gets a six year prison term, Bitbucket will be updating their SSH host keys, AWS Reported a GuardDuty Finding Issue, and more!Links: The ex-Ubiquiti engineer who stole a giant pile of their data gets a six year prison term Bitbucket will be updating their SSH host keys Google has decided to free up inactive accounts after two years. Okay, that's their policy, but then they have the audacity to lie to our faces and say it's for "security." I have a bunch of Wemo devices at home that control lights. I found out that they've got a buffer overflow that Wemo "will not be fixing" because the devices are end of life. AWS Reported a GuardDuty Finding Issue The tool of the week: IAMbic lets you tailor AWS Identity Center permissions per account.

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Hella Iambic: Bringing Romeo & Juliet to the Group Chat

The No Proscenium Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2023 70:57

This week on the show we welcome Nataki Garrett and Scarlett Kim of Oregon Shakespeare Festival and Latoya Peterson of Glow Up Games to talk about Hella Iambic the collaboration between the famed theatre company and the game studio that has previously worked with the likes of HBO on creating original games based on existing works.The existing work in this case is Shakespeare's best known play Romeo & Juliet, and the Hella Iambic app is adding a whole new dimension later this month to OSF's currently running production of the play. SHOW NOTESRomeo & Juliet at OSFNataki GarrettScarlett KimGlow Up GamesThe Next Stage Immersive Summit Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Shrieking Like a Toddler

AWS Morning Brief

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2023 3:10

Last week in security news: Dealing with Ransomware in the Cloud, Pen Testing AWS, How to prioritize IAM Access Analyzer findings, and more!Links: Last Week in AWS job board AWS had two (minor) Cross-Tenant Vulnerabilities within AWS App Runner. Some company called Invictus has practical experience dealing with ransomware in the cloud Chris Farris has a post on Pen Testing AWS. Dark Reading posits that Security Is a Revenue Booster, Not a Cost Center. An Attacker's Perspective on AWS Account IDs How to prioritize IAM Access Analyzer findings Scale your authorization needs for Secrets Manager using ABAC with IAM Identity Center Netchecks is a way of programmatically verifying your security controls. I love CloudTrail Lake, and this repository of query samples makes it easier for me to use it. IAMbic offers "GitOps for IAM."

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Ep 102: Unlikely Fashion Founder Maeve Wang Talks IAMBIC

The Bear Necessities of Entrepreneurship

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2023 47:50

In this episode of #TBNE Rob talks with former consultant turned unlikely fashion entrepreneur Maeve Wang, Founder and CEO of IAMBIC.Maeve shares how a personal development story and the need to stand for successes and failures lead her down the path of entrepreneurship. What started as a National Science Foundation-backed B2B data company quickly became a fashion brand that will change the way we look at shoes. Maeve also shares some very tough challenges the team had to overcome to launch the brand and soon-to-be Model T Shoe.Check out the full episode now!Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review.Connect with Maeve Wang:Instagram: @maevewangLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/maevetwangTwitter: @maeve_wangIAMBICInstagram: @weareiambicTikTok: @weareiambicTwitter: @weareiambicwww.iambic.coConnect with Rob:www.robnapoli.comwww.linkedin.com/in/robnapIG: @robnapoli.riseupShow Produced by: Niranjan Deshpande (Nick), Broken Frames Studio, www.brokenframesstudio.comCreative Director: Maxim Sokolov, www.maximsokolov.com Selling is evolving, are you? Humantic AI is a Buyer Intelligence platform for revenue teams. If you are interested in learning more about Humantic AI use Rob's referral link https://app.humantic.ai/login/?referral_code=robnapoli Special offer for #BearNation listeners interested in trying Brilliantly Warm (https://www.brilliantly.co/), use this 10% off discount code WELCOME10.The 8 Biggest Mistakes People Make When Choosing a Coach (and how to avoid them!) use this link to get your FREE download: https://www.thaxa.com/p/the-bear-necessities-of-entrepreneurshipWe have teamed up with Phin, a social impact company, to give back for each episode to the communities that we serve. To learn more or get involved with Phin for your company, visit: https://www.phinforgood.com/

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GL0RY! (IAMBIC: THE MUSICAL)

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2023 3:25

Ahhh. Oh, my gosh, PoPo…Urghhf. —Brrrrr!!!— A DJ Unhhh…. Who dropped the bass in this bitch?! A BAMPHERAMPH: I was just just getting comfortable... Yes, Yes… I been at a rave. I'm on the flooI'm on the floor—at a rave r—at a rave “Somebody save me!” Oh that was….Wait, That was me, right? Right? Rage? Right? Yay... (Ahhh. I guess I gotta go...higher. YEAH.) I'M NOT A LIAR! I'M ON FIRE, I'M ON FIRE No, do not save me! This is my D— —Wait—DNA I am D.N.R Do not resuscitate me! I am fine! I am not an Earthling, Or Martian I am from other… Hmmm. What is a planet, I don't speak this language I did not invite you, Bitch get out my— hmmm. What is this word? I don't know what it means: It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just another Christmas Tree; It's just another Christmas Eve. It's just another fucking trumpet ‘Nother Trumpet—What is he? Another trump another mothetfucker Another presidential Mmmmmmmm….. What The- What The- What The- What The-- What the fuck, America?! What's the fuck America?! What is up, America? And you Twerk-twerk-twerk! What the fuck, America?! What's the fuck, America!? Don't look up, America— I'm a jerk-jerk-jerk! Yuh. And, I'm still on the floor at a rave. It's okay! It's okay-- it's okay! Ahh—and I just like LA, yeah. I'm not safe. I'm not a savior! I'm here to save ya! Let me show you my Cape—ya Rape? Nah. Rape—charge? Get lost. I am not a “God” I'm just an honest— What's “a lot”? I'm not a “law.” But this is all of it: I bought it. No, you're on it! No, I am it I'm a Planet , Ohh-- --God damn God damn God damn God damn bitch!!! And I just start— And I just start— And then I just Go HAM bitch! But—I guess—? I —I don't eat meat so—- I just go: Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie—Tales. Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie—Tales. Whales. Yuh. I speak whale, I am Dory! Uh. You cannot ignore me! Nah. THIS IS MY STORY: I am the— I am the— I am the— I am the— I AM THE GLORY. Bitch, “I AM.” “I AM.” “I AM.” I am. HUH. GET THE FUCK UP! I am. I am I am! I am! (Iambic ) 10. Skrillex Sandwiches I like this part, it's like it's like it's like... Eyyy Hey. Hey. Heya- Hey!! {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

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GL0RY! (IAMBIC: THE MUSICAL)

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2023 3:25

Ahhh. Oh, my gosh, PoPo…Urghhf. —Brrrrr!!!— A DJ Unhhh…. Who dropped the bass in this bitch?! A BAMPHERAMPH: I was just just getting comfortable... Yes, Yes… I been at a rave. I'm on the flooI'm on the floor—at a rave r—at a rave “Somebody save me!” Oh that was….Wait, That was me, right? Right? Rage? Right? Yay... (Ahhh. I guess I gotta go...higher. YEAH.) I'M NOT A LIAR! I'M ON FIRE, I'M ON FIRE No, do not save me! This is my D— —Wait—DNA I am D.N.R Do not resuscitate me! I am fine! I am not an Earthling, Or Martian I am from other… Hmmm. What is a planet, I don't speak this language I did not invite you, Bitch get out my— hmmm. What is this word? I don't know what it means: It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just another Christmas Tree; It's just another Christmas Eve. It's just another fucking trumpet ‘Nother Trumpet—What is he? Another trump another mothetfucker Another presidential Mmmmmmmm….. What The- What The- What The- What The-- What the fuck, America?! What's the fuck America?! What is up, America? And you Twerk-twerk-twerk! What the fuck, America?! What's the fuck, America!? Don't look up, America— I'm a jerk-jerk-jerk! Yuh. And, I'm still on the floor at a rave. It's okay! It's okay-- it's okay! Ahh—and I just like LA, yeah. I'm not safe. I'm not a savior! I'm here to save ya! Let me show you my Cape—ya Rape? Nah. Rape—charge? Get lost. I am not a “God” I'm just an honest— What's “a lot”? I'm not a “law.” But this is all of it: I bought it. No, you're on it! No, I am it I'm a Planet , Ohh-- --God damn God damn God damn God damn bitch!!! And I just start— And I just start— And then I just Go HAM bitch! But—I guess—? I —I don't eat meat so—- I just go: Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie—Tales. Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie—Tales. Whales. Yuh. I speak whale, I am Dory! Uh. You cannot ignore me! Nah. THIS IS MY STORY: I am the— I am the— I am the— I am the— I AM THE GLORY. Bitch, “I AM.” “I AM.” “I AM.” I am. HUH. GET THE FUCK UP! I am. I am I am! I am! (Iambic ) 10. Skrillex Sandwiches I like this part, it's like it's like it's like... Eyyy Hey. Hey. Heya- Hey!! {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

america god tales musical planet christmas eve rage whales i am bitch rape copyright nah christmas trees cape hmmm twerk popo earthling yuh iambic

GL0RY! (IAMBIC: THE MUSICAL)

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2023 3:25

Ahhh. Oh, my gosh, PoPo…Urghhf. —Brrrrr!!!— A DJ Unhhh…. Who dropped the bass in this bitch?! A BAMPHERAMPH: I was just just getting comfortable... Yes, Yes… I been at a rave. I'm on the flooI'm on the floor—at a rave r—at a rave “Somebody save me!” Oh that was….Wait, That was me, right? Right? Rage? Right? Yay... (Ahhh. I guess I gotta go...higher. YEAH.) I'M NOT A LIAR! I'M ON FIRE, I'M ON FIRE No, do not save me! This is my D— —Wait—DNA I am D.N.R Do not resuscitate me! I am fine! I am not an Earthling, Or Martian I am from other… Hmmm. What is a planet, I don't speak this language I did not invite you, Bitch get out my— hmmm. What is this word? I don't know what it means: It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just another Christmas Tree; It's just another Christmas Eve. It's just another fucking trumpet ‘Nother Trumpet—What is he? Another trump another mothetfucker Another presidential Mmmmmmmm….. What The- What The- What The- What The-- What the fuck, America?! What's the fuck America?! What is up, America? And you Twerk-twerk-twerk! What the fuck, America?! What's the fuck, America!? Don't look up, America— I'm a jerk-jerk-jerk! Yuh. And, I'm still on the floor at a rave. It's okay! It's okay-- it's okay! Ahh—and I just like LA, yeah. I'm not safe. I'm not a savior! I'm here to save ya! Let me show you my Cape—ya Rape? Nah. Rape—charge? Get lost. I am not a “God” I'm just an honest— What's “a lot”? I'm not a “law.” But this is all of it: I bought it. No, you're on it! No, I am it I'm a Planet , Ohh-- --God damn God damn God damn God damn bitch!!! And I just start— And I just start— And then I just Go HAM bitch! But—I guess—? I —I don't eat meat so—- I just go: Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie—Tales. Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie—Tales. Whales. Yuh. I speak whale, I am Dory! Uh. You cannot ignore me! Nah. THIS IS MY STORY: I am the— I am the— I am the— I am the— I AM THE GLORY. Bitch, “I AM.” “I AM.” “I AM.” I am. HUH. GET THE FUCK UP! I am. I am I am! I am! (Iambic ) 10. Skrillex Sandwiches I like this part, it's like it's like it's like... Eyyy Hey. Hey. Heya- Hey!! {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

america god tales musical planet christmas eve rage whales i am bitch rape copyright nah christmas trees cape hmmm twerk popo earthling yuh iambic

Gl0ry! (IAMBIC: THE MUSICAL)

shakespeare wrapping verse meter tips and tricks prose pent quickies olde english iambic iambic pentameter

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2023 3:25

Ahhh. Oh, my gosh, PoPo…Urghhf. —Brrrrr!!!— A DJ Unhhh…. Who dropped the bass in this bitch?! A BAMPHERAMPH: I was just just getting comfortable... Yes, Yes… I been at a rave. I'm on the flooI'm on the floor—at a rave r—at a rave “Somebody save me!” Oh that was….Wait, That was me, right? Right? Rage? Right? Yay... (Ahhh. I guess I gotta go...higher. YEAH.) I'M NOT A LIAR! I'M ON FIRE, I'M ON FIRE No, do not save me! This is my D— —Wait—DNA I am D.N.R Do not resuscitate me! I am fine! I am not an Earthling, Or Martian I am from other… Hmmm. What is a planet, I don't speak this language I did not invite you, Bitch get out my— hmmm. What is this word? I don't know what it means: It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just a thing. It's just another Christmas Tree; It's just another Christmas Eve. It's just another fucking trumpet ‘Nother Trumpet—What is he? Another trump another mothetfucker Another presidential Mmmmmmmm….. What The- What The- What The- What The-- What the fuck, America?! What's the fuck America?! What is up, America? And you Twerk-twerk-twerk! What the fuck, America?! What's the fuck, America!? Don't look up, America— I'm a jerk-jerk-jerk! Yuh. And, I'm still on the floor at a rave. It's okay! It's okay-- it's okay! Ahh—and I just like LA, yeah. I'm not safe. I'm not a savior! I'm here to save ya! Let me show you my Cape—ya Rape? Nah. Rape—charge? Get lost. I am not a “God” I'm just an honest— What's “a lot”? I'm not a “law.” But this is all of it: I bought it. No, you're on it! No, I am it I'm a Planet , Ohh-- --God damn God damn God damn God damn bitch!!! And I just start— And I just start— And then I just Go HAM bitch! But—I guess—? I —I don't eat meat so—- I just go: Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie—Tales. Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie Veggie—Tales. Whales. Yuh. I speak whale, I am Dory! Uh. You cannot ignore me! Nah. THIS IS MY STORY: I am the— I am the— I am the— I am the— I AM THE GLORY. Bitch, “I AM.” “I AM.” “I AM.” I am. HUH. GET THE FUCK UP! I am. I am I am! I am! (Iambic ) 10. Skrillex Sandwiches I like this part, it's like it's like it's like... Eyyy Hey. Hey. Heya- Hey!! {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

america god tales musical planet christmas eve rage whales i am bitch rape copyright nah christmas trees cape hmmm twerk popo earthling yuh iambic

Episode 70: Shakespeare Quickies - Tips and Tricks for Understanding Any Play

F*ckShakespeare

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 12, 2023 44:52

Wrapping up Season 1 with this handy guide to all that useful shit we talk about with every play. We'll cover everything from "what is a comedy" to Line Ending Blueprints. Here's a taste, but for the FULL SUPER-DEE-DUPER TEXT go to our website!! We'll even make it downloadable, you lucky f*ckers!! 1) in a tragedy there are lots of dead bodies on stage at the end. In a comedy at least one couple gets married. In a "problem play" there are bits of both, which is problematic... 2) Iambic pentameter is just a rhythm (METER) with five (PENT) double beats (IAMBS, or "I am!"s) 3) Only 5% of the words contained in all of Shakespeare's plays are words we don't use anymore, so quit moaning about having to learn Olde English. 4) Verse is when a line is written in rhythm (see Iambic Pentameter). There is also Prose, which is more like regular speaking. When a character who usually speaks in verse suddenly starts speaking in prose, LISTEN UP cuz he's deranged... or sick, or lying... All of these and more are fleshed out on the website: www.fckshakespeare.com --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/fckshakespeare/support

Split-Soul

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2023 22:20

AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN. OH SHIT! Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy. Oh nooo. Oh, yes. Look at this penny. I see you. Now look into my eyes. I see you, Jesus. Ahahaha! Okay, now what? This shit is twisted I missed the shift of the dimensions— Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies For some cigarettes and swishers, Just to get the picture It's 5 AM again, And it's still Infinite, I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA, Or just living, period— But it is what it is, I work for my rent, I've repented for this, Used to sleep in a tent, But when I was an Infant, I instantly— Wait, a customer walked in. I better help him. Heaven help him. Another level, Call dr. Nevel, Or an Ambulance, I just can't get it Just can't get it, Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess. Took you long enough, didn't it? That took forever. How are you alive? Maybe I'm not. Finally, we agree on something. Oh, this guy Lol. Good to see you again. Likewise, now— Here it goes… As you promised. Working on it. As I promised. Take my heart for granted, Take my soul, If this is loveless Till the end, I just can't manage, having Thoughts of death and tragic ends I haven't Felt the same since Waking up without the day to come ahead; The day has passed again A test, No fail, or pass It's just progressive, In a trance, It's just the stress, It's just to pass the time, I guess, if this is purpose Then, we'll see if this is worth it Now, or never, then Now or never, Never had a friend, All envious at best, This is the end all, In the end, it's just Me and God, And God would want A better body, To have fun I wished it all at once, And then I watched it crumble Oh, I watched it Stumble in, again, my friend I'm different when it's wet, I might not never see the Sun again I might not ever love again Oh well “Oh well” , I said Oh, well, I guess Oh well Okay. One hour left. Okay. Who gets the gold? Hum. Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7. Play Iambic. What, right now? Yeah, play Iambic. Uh… Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with anything else I had written and had yet the advantage of placing anywhere besides my podcast channels, which I constantly thought about cancelling, despite its innumerous downloads—nothing really seemed to matter anymore, as I was trapped in my body, in a loveless world, in a dead-end job and though my bed was clean and comfy, sharing the room wirh 3 others became exhausting. INT. SMOKESHOP. 5:58 AM DREW BARRYMORE … SUPACREE … I'm done. I quit. QUIT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT. Nope. That's it. I quit. You can't quit. I just did. I hadn't quit the music industry—the music industry had quit me. I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, light skinned enough, or willing to do what any of the other girls were to get ahead. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

god jesus christ soul broadway sun quit lol galaxy split infinite copyright infants waking jimmy fallon int ambulance stumble hum oh shit nevel google documents ahaha iambic

Guinea Pig. {Enter The Multiverse}

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2023 22:20

AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN. OH SHIT! Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy. Oh nooo. Oh, yes. Look at this penny. I see you. Now look into my eyes. I see you, Jesus. Ahahaha! Okay, now what? This shit is twisted I missed the shift of the dimensions— Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies For some cigarettes and swishers, Just to get the picture It's 5 AM again, And it's still Infinite, I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA, Or just living, period— But it is what it is, I work for my rent, I've repented for this, Used to sleep in a tent, But when I was an Infant, I instantly— Wait, a customer walked in. I better help him. Heaven help him. Another level, Call dr. Nevel, Or an Ambulance, I just can't get it Just can't get it, Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess. Took you long enough, didn't it? That took forever. How are you alive? Maybe I'm not. Finally, we agree on something. Oh, this guy Lol. Good to see you again. Likewise, now— Here it goes… As you promised. Working on it. As I promised. Take my heart for granted, Take my soul, If this is loveless Till the end, I just can't manage, having Thoughts of death and tragic ends I haven't Felt the same since Waking up without the day to come ahead; The day has passed again A test, No fail, or pass It's just progressive, In a trance, It's just the stress, It's just to pass the time, I guess, if this is purpose Then, we'll see if this is worth it Now, or never, then Now or never, Never had a friend, All envious at best, This is the end all, In the end, it's just Me and God, And God would want A better body, To have fun I wished it all at once, And then I watched it crumble Oh, I watched it Stumble in, again, my friend I'm different when it's wet, I might not never see the Sun again I might not ever love again Oh well “Oh well” , I said Oh, well, I guess Oh well Okay. One hour left. Okay. Who gets the gold? Hum. Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7. Play Iambic. What, right now? Yeah, play Iambic. Uh… Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with anything else I had written and had yet the advantage of placing anywhere besides my podcast channels, which I constantly thought about cancelling, despite its innumerous downloads—nothing really seemed to matter anymore, as I was trapped in my body, in a loveless world, in a dead-end job and though my bed was clean and comfy, sharing the room wirh 3 others became exhausting. INT. SMOKESHOP. 5:58 AM DREW BARRYMORE … SUPACREE … I'm done. I quit. QUIT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT. Nope. That's it. I quit. You can't quit. I just did. I hadn't quit the music industry—the music industry had quit me. I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, light skinned enough, or willing to do what any of the other girls were to get ahead. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

“The Gatekeeper”

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2023 22:20

AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN. OH SHIT! Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy. Oh nooo. Oh, yes. Look at this penny. I see you. Now look into my eyes. I see you, Jesus. Ahahaha! Okay, now what? This shit is twisted I missed the shift of the dimensions— Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies For some cigarettes and swishers, Just to get the picture It's 5 AM again, And it's still Infinite, I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA, Or just living, period— But it is what it is, I work for my rent, I've repented for this, Used to sleep in a tent, But when I was an Infant, I instantly— Wait, a customer walked in. I better help him. Heaven help him. Another level, Call dr. Nevel, Or an Ambulance, I just can't get it Just can't get it, Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess. Took you long enough, didn't it? That took forever. How are you alive? Maybe I'm not. Finally, we agree on something. Oh, this guy Lol. Good to see you again. Likewise, now— Here it goes… As you promised. Working on it. As I promised. Take my heart for granted, Take my soul, If this is loveless Till the end, I just can't manage, having Thoughts of death and tragic ends I haven't Felt the same since Waking up without the day to come ahead; The day has passed again A test, No fail, or pass It's just progressive, In a trance, It's just the stress, It's just to pass the time, I guess, if this is purpose Then, we'll see if this is worth it Now, or never, then Now or never, Never had a friend, All envious at best, This is the end all, In the end, it's just Me and God, And God would want A better body, To have fun I wished it all at once, And then I watched it crumble Oh, I watched it Stumble in, again, my friend I'm different when it's wet, I might not never see the Sun again I might not ever love again Oh well “Oh well” , I said Oh, well, I guess Oh well Okay. One hour left. Okay. Who gets the gold? Hum. Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7. Play Iambic. What, right now? Yeah, play Iambic. Uh… Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with anything else I had written and had yet the advantage of placing anywhere besides my podcast channels, which I constantly thought about cancelling, despite its innumerous downloads—nothing really seemed to matter anymore, as I was trapped in my body, in a loveless world, in a dead-end job and though my bed was clean and comfy, sharing the room wirh 3 others became exhausting. INT. SMOKESHOP. 5:58 AM DREW BARRYMORE … SUPACREE … I'm done. I quit. QUIT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT. Nope. That's it. I quit. You can't quit. I just did. I hadn't quit the music industry—the music industry had quit me. I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, light skinned enough, or willing to do what any of the other girls were to get ahead. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

god jesus christ broadway sun quit lol galaxy infinite copyright infants waking jimmy fallon int ambulance stumble gatekeeper hum oh shit nevel google documents ahaha iambic

Penny For Your Thoughts. {Enter The Multiverse}

That Does Suit Madame, a Podcast about "Are You Being Served?"

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2023 22:20

AHAHA. ITS ME AGAIN. OH SHIT! Oh shit, i guess it's Jimmy Fallon's Galaxy. Oh nooo. Oh, yes. Look at this penny. I see you. Now look into my eyes. I see you, Jesus. Ahahaha! Okay, now what? This shit is twisted I missed the shift of the dimensions— Till Jimmy walked in with his pennies For some cigarettes and swishers, Just to get the picture It's 5 AM again, And it's still Infinite, I'm disinterestedd as ever in living in LA, Or just living, period— But it is what it is, I work for my rent, I've repented for this, Used to sleep in a tent, But when I was an Infant, I instantly— Wait, a customer walked in. I better help him. Heaven help him. Another level, Call dr. Nevel, Or an Ambulance, I just can't get it Just can't get it, Wait, let's insert some of the script here, I guess. Took you long enough, didn't it? That took forever. How are you alive? Maybe I'm not. Finally, we agree on something. Oh, this guy Lol. Good to see you again. Likewise, now— Here it goes… As you promised. Working on it. As I promised. Take my heart for granted, Take my soul, If this is loveless Till the end, I just can't manage, having Thoughts of death and tragic ends I haven't Felt the same since Waking up without the day to come ahead; The day has passed again A test, No fail, or pass It's just progressive, In a trance, It's just the stress, It's just to pass the time, I guess, if this is purpose Then, we'll see if this is worth it Now, or never, then Now or never, Never had a friend, All envious at best, This is the end all, In the end, it's just Me and God, And God would want A better body, To have fun I wished it all at once, And then I watched it crumble Oh, I watched it Stumble in, again, my friend I'm different when it's wet, I might not never see the Sun again I might not ever love again Oh well “Oh well” , I said Oh, well, I guess Oh well Okay. One hour left. Okay. Who gets the gold? Hum. Honestly I didn't want to hear a thing ; I had quit music—I just wasn't cut out for the industry—I was, but not by societal standards by far; my lowly place in the smoke shop would have to do for now, and though I knew it wouldn't sustain, there wasn't much else I could do but keep showing up, for as long as it lasted—dresses in at least 2 layers and 5 pairs of socks tucked into boots two-sizes-too-big I had been forced to purchase specifically due to the frigid and painful, freezing temperatures at the locations I worked, which kept its doors open 24/7. Play Iambic. What, right now? Yeah, play Iambic. Uh… Iambic played st exactly 1 hour and 19 minutes—it's script, the transcribed rendition crafted especially for the Broadway stage, an 88-page-masterpiece collecting dust in the confines of my Google Documents, along with anything else I had written and had yet the advantage of placing anywhere besides my podcast channels, which I constantly thought about cancelling, despite its innumerous downloads—nothing really seemed to matter anymore, as I was trapped in my body, in a loveless world, in a dead-end job and though my bed was clean and comfy, sharing the room wirh 3 others became exhausting. INT. SMOKESHOP. 5:58 AM DREW BARRYMORE … SUPACREE … I'm done. I quit. QUIT?! YOU CAN'T QUIT. Nope. That's it. I quit. You can't quit. I just did. I hadn't quit the music industry—the music industry had quit me. I wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, light skinned enough, or willing to do what any of the other girls were to get ahead. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project.™] COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. © -U.

Episode 84 - “A Mummified Cat” Are You Being Served Again / Grace & Favour

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2022 65:52

It's Halloween season! Only 2 more original episodes of Grace & Favour to cover! A “very special episode” of the podcast coming up. Call for Nominations! Our special upcoming awards! A special hello to our pals Gary and Tilt from The Sitcom Club and their new AYBS podcast “They'll Ride Up With Wear”. Listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-sitcom-club-091-aybs-pilot/id635720813?i=1000580551913 An AYBS renaissance?! Sweet messages from our #Unanimous listeners who don't want our podcast to end. (All good things...) Start your own podcast! (And we'll make a “Secrets Revealed” podcast episode soon where we teach you how). We were told what the “buffers” was from a previous show. Thanks Mr. Dirk! And we still don't like Old Mr. Grace. Mavis brings Humphries a nice tray with eggs and soldiers (not burly Armymen). A fabulous dream sequence with Miss. Lovelock and Cap'n Peacock as a 1950s period scene - amazing. Tobacco snuff and the gross history of “toffee-nosed gits” and “noses in the air”. The studio audience wanted to applaud the sequence. Then they discover a mummified cat inside the bedroom wall! Rumbold, Slocombe, Brahams, and Humphries go and plant potatoes. Slocombe's straddling of a tractor seat! And her country roots come out. The Bogman joke! A bog = slang for “bathroom” in the UK. “There must have been a very long queue”… LOL The staff go to the local museum to donate the cat. The museum curator is played by Patrick Fyffe who is famous for Dame Hilda Bracket (one half of the female impersonator comedy duo “Hinge and Bracket”). Nefertiti's aunt? We don't get the joke. Daisy the cow has stopped giving milk. Peacock gets a ticket. Bad things are happening to the staff! Take a cat from the wall, bad luck shall befall! Mr. Jeff explains meters and scanning in speaking. Iambic pentameter, etc. Mr. Rumbold had a bang on his head and is probably concussed. Old school chain-pull toilets. Lemon pie filling explodes into the kitchen mysteriously! Lovelock scares Mr. Molturd as she's dressed as a glamourous ghost. Slocombe and Brahams' room is very haunted. Humphries and Mavis' bed starts to levitate off the ground. The laissez-faire use of tranquilizers and sleeping pills. A concussed Rumbold wanders around the manor shouting “Peacock!”. The mummified cat wags its tail(?!). Treat yourself to some That Does Suit Madame merch at our Bargain Basement podcast shop at imfree.threadless.com for t-shirts, mugs, tote bags, and more! Leave the show a voicemail at the Peacock Hotline: (662)-PEACOCK (662-732-2625) and find us on Twitter @DoesSuitMadame and #AYBS #AreYouBeingServed #ImFree #Britcom #comedy #ThatDoesSuitMadame #GraceBros #podcast #LGBT #BlackLivesMatter #BBC #AreYouBeingServedAgain #GraceAndFavour #GraceAndFavor

Worms Do Unfold in Guilted Tombs w/ Noor Shamim (@therealityispod)

Dumpster Dive with Tom Hamlett

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2022 81:35

Tom is Cix-less today to break down RHOA, RHOBH, & Married to Medicine! Noor of The Reality Podcasts joins today's deep dive! They talk Iambic pentameter, the rise of Crystal, flops, Andy's stamina, The Monarchy, drink fridges, Marlo's tactics, squeaking birds, and audio engineering! Rate, review, and subscribe to Dumpster Dive everywhere podcasts are heard! Tom Hamlett Instagram: @thetomhamlett Noor Shamim Instagram: @therealityispod Dumpster Dive Instagram: @dumpsterdivepod Dumpster Dive TikTok: @2dumpsterdivas --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/dumpsterdivepod/support

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Just a Shell

Words Alive (Poetry And Short Stories)

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2022 8:56

This episode we will seek to form an understanding of Iambic heptameter. Today's poem is called Just a Shell and the word of the day is Gift. Let's learn together! I hope you enjoy or have enjoyed this episode. You are welcome to leave a message at duhfflow@gmail.com /a voice message at https://anchor.fm/duhfflow/message. Remember, Live to inspire! Thanks for lendinge your ear. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/duhfflow/message

live gift iambic

Friends to enemies

Words Alive (Poetry And Short Stories)

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 19, 2022 10:07

In this episode we continue to learn about Meter in poetry and the topic for today is Iambic pentameter. Let's learn together. The poem for today is called Friends to enemies and the word of the day is Future. I hope you enjoy or have enjoyed this episode. You are welcome to leave a message at duhfflow@gmail.com /a voice message at https://anchor.fm/duhfflow/message. Remember, Live to inspire! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/duhfflow/message

live friends future enemies meter iambic

Iambic Decasyllable #FreeVerse #Poetry

Groovygords

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 27, 2022 1:16

This episode is also available as a blog post: https://ungroovygords.com/2022/02/25/iambic-decasyllable-freeverse-poetry/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/groovygords/message

poetry iambic freeverse

S4E4 – Iambic Hilltameter

Kyle X Why?

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 12, 2021 55:06

This week, we read chapter 6 of Kyle XY: The Untold Story. Hillary develops a new iconic quirk, Vampiro makes a new friend, Nate gets a new assignment, and Jessi tries to watch her own conception. It's all pretty good, but Foss isn't here yet. Maybe next week! (Yes next week) Sam | Jordan Twitter | Patreon | Discord | YouTube

foss vampiro iambic

Operation FreeSoul Ft. Coon the Poet

operation poet coon iambic

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 24, 2021 57:51

Iambic Poetry Podcast presents Operation FreeSoul Podcast with AndYes AndYes chat with Sacramento Spoken Word Veteran Coon the Poet. Coon the poet also has been on Iambic podcast. Here is that episode link: https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-futxk-e19833 This is the first episode recorded by Operation FreeSoul Podcast. Instagram Coon the Poet - Coonthepoet AndYes - operationfreesoul CharRon Smith - Iambiczine

Operation FreeSoul Episode: Paul Willis

projects operation sacramento hometown recording artists paul willis iambic

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 10, 2021 48:00

Iambic Poetry podcast Present: Operation FreeSoul Podcast with AndYes. AndYes chats with Recording Artist and Activist Paul Willis. Paul Willis has moved back to his Hometown of Boston but he is not forgotten. He has landed a incredible mark on Sacramento with several Projects in music, social awareness, and speaking circuit. Also check out Iambic's interview with Paul Willis, click here Social Media AndYes - Operationfreesoul Paul Willis- Paulwillisishiphop CharRon - Iambiczine

PooleProof Wisdom: Conversations Featuring David Kim, President and CEO, IAMBIC Group

PoolePRoof Wisdom

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2021 57:27

Beyond the Headlines: Stopping AAPI Hate Now In this episode, we revisit the ongoing issue of violence against Asian and Pacific Islander people that grabs fewer headlines today, but remains a real and painful reality. In a recent national report – issued in August and representing incidents through June -- Stop AAPI Hate, an organization formed after an alarming escalation in xenophobia and bigotry against Asian and Pacific Islander people in the US, reported that the number of incidents reported to its center increased to 9,081 from 6,603 between April and June. Of all incident reports, 4,548 hate incidents occurred in 2020 and 4,533 of hate incidents happened in 2021. These attacks ranged from physical assault to verbal harassment, to online harassment, to civil rights violations. David Kim, our guest, weighs in with personal experience, some answers about why many in the community had once opted not to report incidents, and insights about why personal safety, freedom, equity, and respect should be available to us all.

conversations wisdom asian pacific islanders david kim iambic

Iambic Pentameters

The Drive

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2021 18:23

Bob & Jeff transport into the afternoon full of vim & vigor. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

iambic

Operation Freesoul Episode: Stacy G

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 28, 2021 37:30

Iambic Poetry Podcast presents Operation FreeSoul with AndYes. AndYes has gifted IPP with the audio interviews of several poets. This episode has a returning Iambic guest Stacy G. Check out Operation Freesoul on Youtube - https://youtu.be/rs7--VAhCI8 Instagram: AndYes - Operation FreeSoul Stacy G - Stacygspeaks CharRon - Iambiczine

operation ipp iambic

Operation Freesoul Episode: J Rowe

Sounds In The Dark - BFF.fm

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2021 48:23

Iambic Poetry Podcast presents Operation FreeSoul with AndYes. AndYes has gifted IPP with the audio interviews of several poets. This episode has a returning Iambic guest J Rowe. Check out Operation Freesoul on Youtube - https://youtu.be/rs7--VAhCI8 Instagram: AndYes - Operation FreeSoul J Rowe - Rowe.writes CharRon - Iambiczine

operation ipp iambic

Sounds In The Dark - 8.25.21

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2021 120:00

Tonight's edition features new music from Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith, Marc Barreca, CARM + Mouse on Mars, J Foerster + N KRAMER, and some older favorites from MoM, Four Tet, Loren Connors + Jim O'Rourke, Roedelius and Ashra. Enjoying the show? Please support BFF.FM with a donation. Playlist 1134′38″ False Start by Good Weather For An Airstrike on Kenopsia (Valley View Records)

DIY Series: Meet Writer Jonah Angeles

Get Psyched

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2021 57:11

Mentioned in this Episode:Jonah's blog: https://jonahaangeles.medium.com/Jonah's podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2dU930a...Jonah's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/channelsurfcinema/ To learn more about the Get Psyched Mission:You can Get Psyched on...InstagramTwitterFacebookYoutubeCheck out my friend and fellow creator PME On Spotify(Producer PME has given me permission to use his beat '300k' as the Get Psyched intro/outro beat)EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:Provided by Otter.aiDJ Psyched 0:07 I'm DJ Psyched, and you're listening to the Get Psyched podcast. Let's Get Psyched together.I'm DJ Psyched, you're listening to the Get Psyched podcast. And today we're getting psyched with Jonah, we're gonna be talking a bit about writing. So just to start things off, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and what you do, and specifically, I guess what you do with writing,Jonah Angeles 0:32 okay, my name is Jonah. I do a lot of things. Writing being one of them, one of my favorite things to do, I publish on medium. So I do poetry and nonfiction pieces. And yeah, I really enjoy writing. It's one of my passions, it sounds really cliche to say that but you know, as a writer, it's important to, to be passionate, I think. And to imbue your work with that passion, because that's where the good stuff is. And I write about anything and everything. on medium I've been writing about, you know, experiences at university, kind of like, pseudo memoir, stuff, I shouldn't say pseudo, like, kinda like memoir stuff, non creative nonfiction pieces, about my time at university to, you know, photography, which is another one of my hobbies. Also, I read about aliens. I've written two articles about aliens. And I'm not some kind of conspiracy theorist. I guess some people might label me that, but I don't want to get lumped into a niche. So I very intentionally write about various subjects. Which I mean, could also be a disadvantage for, for me as a writer on medium because I think it is important to find a niche, or find some, just some comfort zone or some, some field or domain that your readers will expect. It gives your readers something to expect from you, I guess. But with me and, you know, knowing me and my various interests and my ADHD, it's impossible to fixate on one thing, or to stay on one topic for a long period of time. As you probably know. Quite a, quite a divergent thinker. And I jump from one topic to another. And that definitely shows with my writing. But I guess what ties it all together is that I try to write from, from my voice. And that's something I've developed for years is a unique style and a unique voice. Otherwise, what separates my writing from everybody else's writing, right? It's, it's my style and my voice that I've developed over, over years.DJ Psyched 3:15 Nice. And you wanted to say a little bit more about the multi disciplinary aspect, cuz I think that's pretty big for how your writing ends up being. Because I think when you are multi disciplinary, and you do a lot of different things, it kind of shows through in your writing.Jonah Angeles 3:31 Yeah, um on medium, which is, you know, the good thing about publications, or platforms like medium, I don't want to call medium a publication because it's more so a platform for publications and for published writing, and self publishing. I can add images, and header images, and, you know, body images or like images into the body of the text of an article. And oftentimes, they're my own photos and my own graphics that I've designed for the article. So it makes it more my own thing, I guess. And it makes it more of a product of, of, of my multiple disciplines that I practice. So as I mentioned, I'm into photography as well. I'm into Visual Art and graphic design. And I'm also a podcaster I have my own podcast Overthinker's Anonymous. And I shout out my articles on on my podcast. So I guess my, my published works are linked in a way and it's nice to have multiple platforms too, like Instagram, and a medium account, and a Twitter and the Facebook where you can link to all these multiple works. I don't know it's it's nice to have that um, The thing that ties them together, that aspect of it that ties them together, makes them exist in relation to each other. So that it's it's like I'm creating, like a network of works. Or a world maybe, if that doesn't sound too grandiose?DJ Psyched 5:20 No, yeah, no, I completely understand because I think we're very similar in all those aspects like, I definitely am a writer myself, but I don't only write like, I just couldn't either. I don't think I could stop myself in doing just one thing, like I considered briefly to cut myself from the podcasting world so that I could focus on my writing. And I just couldn't do it. Like, I just couldn't give it up. I enjoy doing it too much. And I think that, with that, I end up like, if I pick something up, because I'm very prone to picking up a new kind of art, or whatever, instead of replacing the old stuff, I've learned to just kind of make like everything connected in its own ways. And I think in that way, we're kind of similar, because my podcast and my website and everything, it's all under a similar name. And it's kind of become like a theme, in a sense, although everything is very different. I try to tie it together. So would you say that everything that you do your podcast, the writing, anything else you create, is it all? Like you said, it's like a world so it's all it's all connected, right? Is what you're saying? Like, it's not like, these are separate things that you're trying to do? You're trying to make it one big thing that do you see as a reflection of yourself, do you see as a mission or something, because I kind of see mine as a very small reflection of myself, because obviously, it's not 100%. me, but I like to think that it's also a mission. So like, with your world, what are you trying to create, exactly, do you know?Jonah Angeles 6:44 I don't know exactly. Because I feel like they're all reflections of me. But they're not. As you said, there, there may be partial reflection reflections, they're not like the whole me. I don't want to define myself by what I do. By my work. I've said that many times in the past, that I'm not trying to establish my identity through my through my work. I guess I'm just trying to, like we said on on my podcast on episode 10 of Overthinker's Anonymous, we kind of ended off on the note that the meaning of life is to create something that lasts. So I think that's kind of what I'm trying to do. I, I guess the real answer is, though, that I don't think about it too much. I just do things and I, I don't think about the big picture as much as I think about, you know, what I, every single thing that I do, I put 100% of myself into it. But I don't think about my entire legacy, or my entire body of work as being one thing or one world. But I guess it's my, my content, like, my footprint, or my my I how would you? my garden, maybe my online, online garden of work. Because it sounds better than body of work. It sounds more glamorous, I think having a garden of work. And with a garden, you can have multiple different types of flowers blossoming. And the conditions have to be right, right? The temperature has to be right. You tend to it. And I don't know, I think it's important to revisit it and not just, you know, frivolously throw things out into the void and see what sticks. You know what I mean? I think it's important to preserve what you what you've made, and enjoy what you made and share what you've made. Yeah, because I feel like we live in we live in a world where it's all about content creation, content creation, content creation. And it seems the trend seems to be that you, you make stuff and you just throw it out there and you just kind of forget about it. And you're on to the next thing. That's something I don't necessarily buy when is just like, I believe that these things should last. And if you're not making things that last, you're making things that are just, you know, going to get your attention for maybe five minutes. And then it's on to the next thing and you forget about that Tik Tok or, you forget about that tweet. You know, I don't know I maybe I'm maybe I'm putting too much value into every single piece that I make. But I believe that, you know, we're creating things that are going to be there are going to outlast us. So that's what I have in mind is, you know, the future like posterity. How am I going to be perceived by future generations, by my children, and my children's children, if I have children, or like, by, by by The future. How is the future gonna perceive me? How are, how are the aliens gonna, gonna perceive me? You know, like, what are they going to infer about the life I lived and the kind of person that I was, you know, where my mind wandered? You know, the things I thought about? what I studied? You know, what I dealt with in life? Whatever I've been through?DJ Psyched 10:30 Yeah, that definitely makes sense. And I guess what I'm wondering is then, as a writer, like, do you have any certain goals for yourself? Like, maybe not like in the sense of like, Oh, well, I don't know, in the sense that you like you said, You like to make things that last and are meaningful, do you have any very specific goals? Because I know that you've talked about different writing projects that you worked on? I think you talked about it when we did the podcast together. So is there anything like you would really love to do like, I mean, personally, I read somewhere in a book once, a book I really love, that they said, like writing a book is one of the best things that you could do for yourself and preserving your legacy. Is that something that you also think as a writer, like long bodies of works?Jonah Angeles 11:13 Oh, yeah. 100%. I'm writing a book, fiction science fiction novel. And it's kind of on one level, it's, it's a dystopian, utopian/dystopian, or, as Margaret Atwood would call it Ustpopian novel. But on another level, it's it's kind of a allegorical autobiography, especially Book Three, part three. I don't want to spoil too much, but like, Part Three mirrors a lot of my life. And it gets very real, I guess it gets very personal. Even though the character isn't necessarily me, it's, it's kind of like an avatar for me. And I do have an avatar in the novel, like, one of my main characters, William, William Blue, is essentially, who I would be in that world had I existed in that world that I'm writing in, that I'm writing about in the year 2033. Yeah, he's, he's essentially just... Oh can you hear me?DJ Psyched 12:21 Yeah.Jonah Angeles 12:23 He's essentially just a mirror of me, I guess, but not not. Again, like we said earlier, a partial mirror, not, not a whole reflection of who I am. And he's definitely not one to one, a one to one translation of, of my personality. He's definitely his own being his own character. And he's got his own personality. But I feel like if you were to study this novel, that I'm writing, if you were to analyze it, you'd probably be able to pick out a lot of my life, and, you know, my experiences within the novel. So I think that's just been my goal for a long time is writing is writing this novel? I've been writing it since I was 19. So it's about eight years in the making. And yeah, it's it's kind of like, a mirror of my life, but not really. So an allegorical autobiography, as I said, and yeah, it's a lot about a lot of it is about finding yourself too and figuring it out figuring out this whole life thing in in a larger than life world with larger than life characters. But um, yeah, that's basically the gist of it.DJ Psyched 13:51 Yeah, well, that's awesome. I think I've done very similarly with my writings actually had this weird thing for a while, where every short story I wrote the main character's name started with an L, just because mine does like almost all of my main characters from anything that I wrote, like in college, their name started with an L. And I felt like I always put a part of myself into the characters, I feel like that kind of made them more real to me, and made me resonate with the story more. So I guess what I want to ask you is what would you say you write for? Because personally, when I write, I think my writing becomes one, reflection for myself. Like, I feel like there's so many times that I've started writing and just had grand epiphany is why I stand by writing and I love to write, like, whether I post the writing or not, sometimes I'll just journal to write for myself. So I think like writing for me is like a sense of reflection, but it's also a form of expression and trying to explain myself to others. So what inspired you to start writing and what do you see writing as for you like, what, what is writing to you?Jonah Angeles 14:56 Oh, yeah, I was really well put. I'm going to steal some of your words and say reflection and expression. Because like, yeah, reflection, like through journaling, and through like my own just free writing or like sometimes I do poetry, free writing poetry. It's a way to externalize your thoughts, right? It's a way to look into your, your minds activity, or like, look into the information that's passing through your mind. And processing it in a way where you can reflect on it and even analyze it in a way that's different from just thinking about your thoughts. There's something about writing something down and then actually viewing it from an outsider's perspective or like, even from the audience, an audience perspective. Because really, when you're journaling, you're your own audience, and you're writing for yourself. And, yeah, it's just a way for me to reflect and I guess, better understand myself better better understand the workings of my own mind. It's also on another side it's expression. So it's a way for me to, I guess, express myself as simple as that. No reason to overcomplicate it further than self expression. And creating something beautiful, creating something meaningful, insightful, entertaining. I love to entertain and, I guess, provoke thoughts and provoke feelings or evoke feelings and people evoke feelings of beauty. For me, writing is also about the the artistic, the artistic arrangement of words. I really love, you know, literary authors like Oscar Wilde. Nabokov, like and then poets like William Blake, Edgar Allan Poe, and like, those are just a handful of many, many authors that inspire me to create beautiful language. And there's so many ways language can be beautiful. You can write about you know, love, you can write about nature, you can write about sci fi, or even dark, Gothic, grotesque things, and still make it poetic and beautiful. For me, personally, I like to find the middle ground between poetry and prose. And one of the articles that I posted on medium called Welcome to your life now in Ultra HD, which I had a feeling that you were gonna bring this up anyway. But like that article experiments with like poetic prose with like, short, punchy paragraphs that are, um, you know, like, brevity is the soul of wit, like Oscar Wilde says, so like their brief punchy thoughts that express a lot with very little. And the whole article is a 14 minute read, but it's just full of those punchy thoughts. You know what I mean? And I feel like it makes it more easy to consume too, especially in today's world where the short form is more favored, I guess, you know?DJ Psyched 18:52 Yeah. Jonah Angeles 18:54 And that's why I like to write more like just punchy, punchy sentences, rather than long form paragraphs. But I don't want to pigeonhole myself into that kind of writing either. I do write long paragraphs too. It's just depends on the article and wherever the article needs. And whatever the individual each individual paragraph needs, right? Like to bring it back to the topic though. Writing is just about reflection and artistic expression to me, personal reflection, introspection. And yeah, and then expression, reflection and expression. That's my answer.DJ Psyched 19:41 Yeah, and, I mean, I think that's like what a lot of like art is, is like expression and reflection. So is writing one of like you said, it's like one of your big things, what made writing so specifically, a thing to focus on. I know you do a lot of things, but you do, you were very passionate. You were very passionate about talking about writing. So I'm wondering, what is it specifically about writing that entices you. And what maybe inspired you to choose writing is something to really focus on?Jonah Angeles 20:13 Um, that's a good question. I've always been a big reader, I've always loved reading. It's one of my first loves my mom used to read to me, and instilled this love of prose and literature, even poetry. But it was more so like books, like storybooks. And works like Harry Potter. Or, you know, Lemony Snickett's a series of unfortunate events.DJ Psyched 20:42 Yeah.Jonah Angeles 20:43 Or, you know, she used to, well, specifically, Harry Potter and children's books like that, like, my mom used to read that to me when I was young. And I just always appreciated the written word. Um, and I've always just wanted to myself write magic into it, like, write like magical words, you know, there's, there's magicto language, there's like, when you come across a passage that really hits you, there's magic there, you know, that, like a passage, that gives you chills, or this feeling that you just read something that was true, or something that was really resonated, something that really resonated with you, Or even something that rocks your world, you know, that I get those feelings when I read, like, just really good writing. And I want to I want to be, I want to be responsible for that feeling for invoking that feeling in people. Yeah, I don't know how else to describe it. And I don't know what else to say about that. Because it's, it's very intuitive to me. It's just, it's just in my nature to write. And I guess, yeah. I've always been immersed in literature and stories. And, you know, as much as I love movies, like stories are rooted in oral tradition, right and like, language, stories are rooted in in verbal communication, or just linguistic communication. And yeah, I love telling stories. And making people feel things. Yeah.DJ Psyched 23:03 Definitely. And I think that that is something I think a lot of a lot of writers can say is that it kind of just comes naturally after a while, especially when you have a love for reading originally. So one thing so that part I think, comes naturally to a lot of people too. And one thing I find interesting because when I, when we first like, I don't know, online met, I guess you say when when we met through Reddit and like, ended up like doing these podcasts together. I thought your concept was really interesting and pretty, like relatable. The Overthinker's Anonymous thing, just kind of letting yourself talk about whatever you want kind of making a free flow space. And I see that in your writing you also don't hold yourself back, which was something I really resonated with because like, I agree that having like a niche is really important for a lot of creators, but I personally have a hard time with that too. That's why I create so many different kinds of content. So how how did you go about like, was it easy and natural for you to get that kind of, I guess, concept flowing? Like, was it just like oh, yeah, if I'm going to make something clearly it's going to be very free like this, it's going to be whatever topic I want or did it take you a while to find yourself to where you are now like to come up with the podcast? Do names and stuff come easily to you? Or was this something that you tweaked over time?Jonah Angeles 24:23 Hmm. I love how you shovel on these, you pile on these questions and just spark up these these networks of thought these neural networks in my mind. And now I'm like, experiencing analysis paralysis of where where I'm going to go. This is kind of, this is very on brand for me as an over thinker to just not know where to take the conversation next. But um, can you can you rephrase the question?DJ Psyched 24:59 Yeah, definitely. So, as far as being a creater goes, I think a lot of people yeah, tend to have, do you got an answer? Or do you want me to try and explain it?Jonah Angeles 25:08 Um, I, I feel like it, it's always it has always come naturally to me. Like, just creating just, and not limiting myself to one thing. In terms of names, I feel like names come naturally too, I feel like I just discover my process or my process is one of discovery. I, I tend to find the words, as I write them. And I tend to find stories as I write them, I tend to discover a podcast as I record it, I don't have a set plan, I'm more of a gardener than an architect in terms of like that classic distinction that writers make between like plotting a story and, like, plotting it from, like making blueprints, of where a story is going to go or a roadmap, as opposed to being a gardener and just planting seeds and seeing what sprouts. That's not to say that I don't like planning though I do like to plan, but not to the point where it restricts me because like you said, I, I don't really want to carve out a niche. Because that would feel too restrictive. And I personally just, I personally just want to discover things as they as they happen. Like, it's, it's the spontaneous side of me wanting to, I guess, develop works, without imposing too much expectation, or too much of my desires of what I want a work to be. Because with with my novel, for example, with my medium articles, I might have an idea. But you know, that idea might change or transform or evolve into something else entirely. And I'm not going to stop it from doing that. I like to just, again, discover what a thing is, or what a thing wants to be, it sounds strange, because it's almost like I'm treating it like a living being separate from myself. But to me, that's kind of what it is, on some level. It's kind of like, a child, you know, like, that I'm raising, I'm not going to impose too much of my own expectations on a piece of writing, or on a on a work of a piece of visual art. I'm going to help it develop into what it is, if that makes sense. DJ Psyched 27:57 Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't make a lot of sense. How long, I should have asked this question earlier, actually, how long have you been writing? And on top of that, just so it's not too complicated how long have you been writing? And since you started writing, has there, has there been any big things that you've learned maybe about yourself, or about the craft or anything that maybe you wish you knew back when you started?Jonah Angeles 28:21 Um, I've been writing since I was very young. I guess I've been writing my whole life. I, to be honest with you, because like, as I said, my mom read to me when I was younger, and she'd also write down stories that I tell I orally, just say stories. They'd come to my head, and she'd write them down for me. And we staple them together in little books. And I think it's so awesome but once I was able to start writing, I would do that myself, I just write I'd staple these pages together and write stories. I think I might have been like three or four years old at that time, or whenever, whenever, whatever age it was, where I was capable of writing stuff down with a pen or a pencil. That's when I first started writing stories. But um, so yeah, when I say my whole life, I don't know, I've always I've always been a storyteller. And yeah, I've always done that. For as long as I can remember, I've always written short stories. I, I know in junior high, I developed an obsession with reading short stories, and publishing them online for online communities. I really just grew up in the perfect time to be a writer, you know, I am a child of the internet age, I was born in the 90s so you know, I kind of grew up on the internet, as a lot of people have in this day and age, but I found a writing community, or writing website called Storywrite, I don't know if they still exist, but they were kind of like wattpad before wattpad is I think, Wattpad is like the big, big name now in the community, Like a community based, an online community based on sharing your writing, I might be wrong. There might be another one, out there other than, like, you know, medium and in terms of short stories, like, I feel like wattpad's the main one, am I wrong? I think,DJ Psyched 30:40 No, I think wattpad is the main one.Jonah Angeles 30:42 that's the name that comes to mind when you think of like sharing short stories online, right?DJ Psyched 30:46 Yeah.Jonah Angeles 30:46 I used to write for wattpad, too, when wattpad got big. And, yeah, and I've always just been a writer, and did I answer all of your questions?DJ Psyched 31:00 Well, the the part that I'd really like to focus on at the end of this podcast is kind of what have you learned? Like, is there any lessons anything big that stood out to you?Jonah Angeles 31:09 Okay, and if there's anything that I wish I would have known,DJ Psyched 31:13 yeah.Jonah Angeles 31:14 in the past, um, honestly, I wish I would have implemented a structure like made more time for writing way back when. But I don't know, it's, it's not that big of a deal now. Because like, I do make time for writing. Now I do sometimes, well, I try to make an effort to, you know, carve out some time in my day for writing. But back, then I didn't have a routine, I didn't have any notion of setting aside time, I guess well, back then at that same time back then I did have more time to write. So it's kind of a moot point at this point. To say that I wanted, I should have made more time for writing when I did have a lot of time for writing and I did spend a lot of time writing, but maybe more of, like, I guess, for people listening to this, who want to get into writing, I think having a routine and carving out time to write, rather than just writing when you feel like writing, which is what I've always done for most of my life, up until recently. Up until the past few years. For me personally, as a writer, it really helps to have time, time out of your day, dedicated just to writing. I also feel the best times to write are, and this is just my personal preference is either when I wake up, or when I'm about to go to bed. So either really early in the morning, or really late at night, because that's when the ideas are more accessible, in my opinion, or even after I meditate. If I could go back in time, I taught myself to meditate more. And try to find ideas through that through meditation, because that silence is the default mode network, right? It takes you out of the default mode network of your everyday mundane way of thinking, and, you know, puts you in a state where you're more open and more, I guess, you attract more ideas. Because I, to bring it back to the idea that these works are kind of like separate beings from you, like I believe I do is are also alive in a sense. And doing things that take you out of your default mode network, like meditation, or even going for a walk, or anything that puts you in a flow state will put you in a mindset for finding fishing out these novel ideas, so to speak.DJ Psyched 34:11 Yeah, that's actually a really good point that you bring up having one like a routine for writing. I think that's something that a lot of people lack, including myself, I definitely have been trying to etch in more writing time because I do think that I used to do the same thing. And I still do a lot of the times like I just write whenever I'm just in the mood, but that kind of can sometimes leave me with periods of time where I'm not writing. And I completely agree on the walking thing. That's actually one of I think, not just walking but finding that time to mentally just be in the writing or just be with yourself and just being out of the chaos of the world because I find that the times that is hardest to write is like during the day like you're completely right if you write during the day, you have all These worries in your head, you got work to think about, there's all there's always chores to do around the house. And it's just there's too much going on. And it's hard to like writing is something you have to be in, you have to be very present in the moment. You can't write and multitask, you can't write when there's other things you're thinking about doing. It has to be in that moment, just writing. And I think, like you said, like a flow state. I think writing is one of the easiest ways to get into a flow state. Because I find that once I actually get myself down, and I start typing out, everything else, it doesn't matter for those few minutes.Jonah Angeles 35:34 Yeah, yeah, it's, it's like, you also have to just let yourself go, you just have to let go. That's a big part of the process is not rereading what you just wrote, and then judging it, because that's something I tend to do, too, is having, like typing out a paragraph and then rereading it, and thinking, Oh, that sounds stupid, why'd I write that? And it's better to just let yourself write until, until you run out of words. And then also, don't judge yourself too harshly for what you wrote. Because it's not like, every word you write, or every sentence you write is going to be gold. That that has, that takes a process to, in order to make something that's in order to make gold when it comes to writing it. It takes a lot of time and effort and energy. But I guess, part of the whole letting yourself go thing is also that ties into the whole discovery aspect of my process is just exploring it, there's an exploratory aspect to that. And just, you know, finding, finding ideas, because they're out there, you know.DJ Psyched 36:56 Yeah. Jonah Angeles 36:56 And, and not criticizing them too much. Because that's when you're overthinking that's that's when the thinking too much. happens when you when you think too much you inhibit yourself from creating gold. It's it's alchemy, really, you know, I guess that's what writing is to me. So I should have said that earlier because that's more dramatic and more, more poetic is to call writing alchemy. DJ Psyched 37:21 Yeah. Jonah Angeles 37:22 Because Yeah, you're, you're really creating gold out of like, the building blocks of reality, which is language.DJ Psyched 37:29 Yeah. Jonah Angeles 37:31 or information. Yeah. DJ Psyched 37:36 Sorry, I just lost my thought.Jonah Angeles 37:38 That's okay.DJ Psyched 37:42 What were you saying? Because I think I can find it again.Jonah Angeles 37:45 Oh, let's find this thought this runaway away thought. alchemy, gold, building blocks of reality, this is very philosophical and metaphysical to say.DJ Psyched 38:01 yeah, what I was gonna say was that, it pertains to something you said a while ago, is like not controlling what you do, but kind of letting it be what it wants to be. I think that the importance to me at least of meditating, or being in a very calm and clear state, when it when creating anything, but especially with writing is that usually, I'll have an idea, right? Just a small idea, a very small idea when I go into writing, I usually don't even try to like have a set title when I start writing. Because if I already deem, what the work is going to be, it's going to sound to forced, what I try to do is just like, have the vague thought, like, what is it that I'm trying to say here? What is it that I'm trying to write, and just start writing and usually, like, I'd say, 99% of the time, when I just let myself write, based on one thought, it'll come out completely different than I envisioned it when I started writing. And it's whenever I try to make a writing too specific like over plan it, that it doesn't end up sounding good to me, or it doesn't end up feeling real. Like it has to be like, when I'm sitting there writing, I'm in such a clear state, and I just let it be, or else I feel like, it just becomes obvious that I overthought the whole piece and the the point, usually, I when I say a concept, I mean, I have just a vague concept. As I'm writing. The epiphany happens, and you can almost see it in my writing that moment where I realized what the point is, because I don't have a word limit or anything. It's not like I ever write and I'm like, Okay, I need to write this many words. I'm just like, I need to write until I get whatever the point is. And I don't know what the point is usually when I start something, but by the end of it, I'm like, Okay, I understand the point. Now my readers can understand the point. This is where it finishes. Do you have any kind of like process like that for your writing that you do or is free handing, like a big part of your process too?Jonah Angeles 39:53 Yeah, definitely. I do like to have titles and overarching concepts and basic direction, a single direction, at least, or maybe a, let's say, let's say I'm going down a highway. I'd like to be going north, rather than going like North and then going trying West, like I like to stay in one direction and see where that takes me. DJ Psyched 40:22 Yeah. Jonah Angeles 40:24 Or I just switched lanes and try another, try another direction, or switch switch highways maybe. Or this is this whole thing this whole metaphor is infinite. There's so many places you can, you can take your writing and it helps to have structure and constraints. I took a writing class in university, one of my favorite writing classes, actually called story games. And I was gonna shout out my professor Thomas warden. He's dope from the University of Alberta. Yeah, I was a creative writing minor, by the way. Just thought I dropped that piece of information for the listeners. Yeah. Sorry, for the big for the long pause. I'm realizing that your listeners don't know a thing about me. So yeah, I graduated from University of Florida with a psych degree, major in psych and minor in creative writing. And I took a class called story games. And that class is all about writing within constraints, and within certain sets of rules. So what was the name of the, the the Ulipo? Hold on the Ulipo I think I'm butchering the pronunciation, but it's a it was a, this was a gathering of French speaking writers. In a university. I don't know if they were, I don't know if they were they were based but um, Oh, is it the college? The pata physic, it's a French college, it was a subcommittee called Ulipo. Kind of like a student group, I guess. And they practice writing within constraints and different structures and just ways, ways in which you can, like, I guess, restrict yourself as a writer, in order to create because if you if you have no restrictions, and you're just totally free to write about whatever you want, it can be difficult to settle in on or to hone in on on a one overarching theme or idea or direction or point. But if you have, if you write within a certain set of rules, or a certain structure or a certain technique, maybe like to give you an example. Maybe maybe you want to write from the perspective of, of an animal, or, you know, first person like you, as a writer, you have certain narrative modes, right and points of view, you can view those as constraints. But like, you can even take it a step further by, you know, writing of a constraint, they're constraints. Here, I'm looking on the Wikipedia page, s plus seven or sometimes called n plus seven. So you replace every noun in the text with the seventh noun after it in a dictionary. So for example, call me Ishmael, some years ago, becomes call me Islander, some yeggs ago. Y E G G S. Interesting. So this is obviously like a game you can play with your writing. But that can lead into maybe a new story idea, or you know what I mean? There's also, one of the techniques I used was using tarot cards to plot out a story. And you don't have to, like, necessarily write about save. Maybe you drew, you know, seven of pentacles. You don't have to write about like Pentacles or seven. You can maybe write about a night or a character who found like, seven, sometimes seven items or like seven macguffins. And went to, I don't know, a hotel, or what, a space station or I don't know you can there's so many sources of information around you. You know what I mean? And I guess one of the if you're to take away any, anything from this rambling it's that ideas are all around us. And if you restrict yourself with certain rules, you're able to better allow those ideas to flourish maybe. Does that make sense?DJ Psyched 45:26 Yeah.Jonah Angeles 45:28 Yeah, please cut that. Please edit that down. Totally, totally lost my train of thought as I was speaking. And yeah, but it's hard to explain without concrete examples. But like, even even rhymes, rhymes are a form of constraint. And you can choose a certain rhyming pattern or even like Shakespeare's use of what's it called, Iambic parameter. That's another example of a constraint about what you said about titles, I think titles are a good way to add limitations to what you want to write. And I guess, there could be a delicate balance there of like, not restricting yourself too much with a title because the title is obviously going to influence what you're writing about. And I, I come from, like, I guess where we differ, I come from the standpoint of liking to work with titles and finding the story from the title. But at the same time, I do like the other way around to where you don't have a title and you find the title after you write the piece. Yeah. But if I'm doing it the first way, where I have a title, and I'm finding the piece with the title in mind, that title isn't concrete, it can be subject to change, too.DJ Psyched 47:03 Yeah. And, and that's kind of what I meant more. So it's not like I don't ever have any title when I start writing. But whenever I write, I put a title down that I know I'm not going to keep because I think the title is going to be influenced by what ends up happening in this, in whatever I'm writing, because there have been times where I like I have a title, and then the concept is in it. And when I finish, either there's some phrase that really stands out to me in it, or some concept that really pushes through and I'm like, okay, the title will reflect the piece better if I change the title at that point. So I understand what you're saying. Because I mean, if I were to just sit there and write and just be like freehand absolutely no concept, I think none of the blog posts, I make whatever makes sense. But having like, certain limitations, and I think that's where the concept of like a niche or like, for me, I guess I like to think of it as, like a fluid genre when I write, because there are like, certain topics that I like to speak on. Like, I think, for me, personally, nonfiction is a big thing, because I'd like talking about growth and topics in life. But I think what's what's important to me is not to restrict myself from allowing myself to bring other things in. Because I think, while having one concept is, is vital, honestly, for writing, because if you go too many places, your piece isn't going to make sense. And it's going to be harder to enjoy while reading it. There's got to be like that one central theme. But what I like to think of it as if we're going to use the highway analogy is like, you've got a highway you're riding on, but you still want like pretty scenery around that highway.Jonah Angeles 48:36 Yeah. True. I like that. I like that. And you want you want the ride to be exciting. Yeah, to and you don't want it to be predictable.DJ Psyched 48:49 Yeah, and I think like with this analogy, to me, the most essential thing is that one, the story starts somewhere, right? You got to get in the car at some point and then go down the highway and there's got to be a destination because I think the biggest problem I had when I first started writing is that I never really stopped the car anywhere. It's just like, the highway ended and the car never stopped. So it feels like the ride has to stop you know, like it doesn't make sense to go on a road trip with no end.Jonah Angeles 49:16 Right. Makes sense. Yeah, I really like that. DJ Psyched 49:23 So I guess my last big question that I want for you is do you have any like Golden Nugget I guess something vital you'd want people to take away from this. Maybe something about you or something about writing you know, I'm gonna give you free rein to go wherever you want with this.Jonah Angeles 49:44 Okay, well, as I mentioned, I do want to bring up that no death no fear book by Thich Naht HanhDJ Psyched 49:51 Yeah. Jonah Angeles 49:53 Who is a famous for writing about meditation and Zen and Buddhism. And, yeah, I think one of the passages I was reading, right before this interview was how, in order for certain flowers to blossom, during the season, the conditions had to be right. And that's kind of like a metaphor for a lot of things to me, not just life. But for writing, like you got to have, the conditions have to be right. And there's a lot that you can control in relation to that in relation to putting yourself in the right writing mindset, or, you know, doing what you can in order to arrange the conditions in order to make the stars align, so that your writing can be it's best, I guess, to put out your best work, and I think what I've learned is the best writing. Or the best times, for me to write is when I'm actively living my life. And I know it's hard to live your life, quote, unquote, during a pandemic, but for me, the the right conditions of writing is for when I'm, you know, live having experiences that inspire me, or talking to people that inspire me, or going places that, you know, challenged my, my everyday perceptions, or my everyday, my default mode network that, you know, places that put me in a flow state places that show me new things that give me new experiences. I don't know when I'm, when I'm having the time of my life, when I'm falling in love, or when I'm getting my heart broken. You know, that's when I get a lot of really good material. For good art, is when I'm, you know, living my life, I guess it's the best way for me to put it. It's the most general way for me to put it and I know it's very abstract. ButDJ Psyched 52:11 yeah,Jonah Angeles 52:11 that's, that's when the right conditions are, one of the right conditions for good writing. and good material is when I'm living my life, and I'm not holding myself back from living. I have to gain experiences in order to transmit those experiences into my work. Because if I'm just sitting on my ass, like in my room, or in my workspace, trying to come up with ideas, staring at a blank page. Well, you know, there's only so much I can pull from if I'm not living my life, you know what I mean?DJ Psyched 52:47 Yeah, I completely, completely agree. I think that is where all the best art comes from, when you're living, truly living and experiencing and making the art afterwards. You know, like, letting that be a guide for creating because I mean, art is a reflection of life, life is a reflection of art, yada, yada, but, but I think it's important to live and experience. I think that's where the best art comes from, I think it'd be impossible, honestly, in my opinion, to create if there wasn't anything you're going through, because I mean, everything I create, and I think any creator who's doing it because they love it, and is not doing it as a motivation of money or something. The reason you do it is because you're you want to create something relevant, something that you can relate to something other people can relate to. And you can only make something relevant if you're living.Jonah Angeles 53:39 Yeah, the human experience, right? We're all pulling from the human experience. Assuming that you're human and listening to this, if you're an animal or an alien, I guess you can write about the animal or the alien experience, too. But um, yeah, like, in order to, to plant seeds in your writing, you need to have the seeds planted in you. Does that make sense? That, it's kind of weird metaphor.DJ Psyched 54:05 Yeah,Jonah Angeles 54:06 I have the image of like, flowers sprouting up for my ears. And, you know, my, my nostrils and whatever orifice you want to name put. DJ Psyched 54:17 That would make a cool photo. Jonah Angeles 54:19 That'd be an interesting photo. Yeah, that's a good idea. I have to write that down for later. But yeah, in order to write about life, you had to live your life. Because that's what's interesting. That's what's that's what people like to read is, you know, they like to see themselves. People like to see themselves in what they read in the characters that they read. Or they like to relate to what they read. And I mean, or I do personally. DJ Psyched 54:51 Yeah. Jonah Angeles 54:53 That's where I, where I experienced firsthand is when I read something that resonates with me that I feel like I have experienced that too. Or I feel like I can put myself in this character's shoes or this narrator shoes and really understand what they meant, or what what the writer meant when they wrote that thing. Because a lot of the time, like good writing speaks about things that are universal, or things that are commonly experienced by humans. And as far as I know, it's just us humans who make literature, but maybe I'm being ignorant.DJ Psyched 55:33 Completely agree. Well, yeah. Thank you for all of that. Jonah Angeles 55:40 Yeah, thank you. Thank you. You're welcome.DJ Psyched 55:43 For Sure.Jonah Angeles 55:43 Thank you. Thank you for having me. And thank you for sharing your that we share too.DJ Psyched 55:53 All right. Well, yeah, I guess our main following the, I guess, metaphor of the podcast we did on your page, which I want to let you get, have a moment if you'd like to just shout out that podcast again. So everyone knows where they can find you after this?Jonah Angeles 56:09 Yeah, that podcast is called Overthinker's Anonymous. It's available on Spotify and anchor and wherever you get your podcasts, I think, except for except for Apple podcasts, but I could be wrong. I think it might actually be on Apple podcast. just haven't haven't checked. Yeah, don't quote me on that. Yeah.DJ Psyched 56:32 All right. Well, thank you again for being on again. And stay psychedJonah Angeles 56:39 Stay psyched. DJ Psyched 56:40 Thank you so much for listening. The intro and outro beat us on this podcast was made by my friend and producer PME. He's super talented, so make sure to check him out. His links are always in the description. And as always, let me know what you're getting psyched about. I do this podcast because I think getting psyched is done best when we do it together. So please let me know and until next time, stay psyched.

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Ep 135. I’m feeling very iambic today

Poetry Says

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2021 19:06

Thoughts on a workshop I got to do with Brooklyn Poets, led by the amazing Jay Deshpande, on prosody and the decolonisation thereof. Also on Emily Dickinson and her poem Because I could not stop for Death. Show notes Terrance Hayes on Commonplace The Ode Less Travelled by Stephen Fry A Quiet Passion

death emily dickinson terrance hayes iambic brooklyn poets

Ep 135. I’m feeling very iambic today

Poetry Says

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2021 19:06

Thoughts on a workshop I got to do with Brooklyn Poets, led by the amazing Jay Deshpande, on prosody and the decolonisation thereof. Also on Emily Dickinson and her poem Because I could not stop for Death. Show notes Terrance Hayes on Commonplace The Ode Less Travelled by Stephen Fry A Quiet Passion

death emily dickinson terrance hayes iambic brooklyn poets

014: HVmini // Huntsmen, Gobbledoks and Bluebirds

Hemispheric Views

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2020 13:21

HVmini // Huntsmen, Gobbledoks and Bluebirds Martin and Andrew terrify Jason with personal stories concerning native Australian wildlife, then reminisce about a fine Japanese automobile. Huntsmen 00:00:00 New South Wales (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_South_Wales) Huntsman spider (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huntsman_spider) — ONLY FOLLOW THIS LINK IF YOU ARE OK WITH SPIDERS. Thongs/flip-flops (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flip-flops) Wallaby (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallaby) Top 10 venomous spiders in Australia (https://theculturetrip.com/pacific/australia/articles/the-10-most-venomous-spiders-in-australia/) — WARNING AS ABOVE Quokka (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quokka) Numbat (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Numbat) Smith's Chips Gobbledok ad from 1987 (https://youtu.be/3vIaCXCkkrs) Remembering Bluebirds 00:08:40 Nissan Bluebird (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nissan_Bluebird) Category 5 cable (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat-5) Nissan Skyline GT-R (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nissan_Skyline_GT-R) and Nissan GT-R (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nissan_GT-R) Iambic pentameter (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iambic_pentameter) Credits This episode was edited by Martin using Ferrite Recording Studio. Episode 014 Edit in Ferrite https://loungeruminator.net/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/IMG_1386.png

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CharRon Smith: Vacation Time

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Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2020 3:22

CharRon will be taken a needed rest for 2 weeks and Iambic will be collecting more interviews with poets, Poet Laureates, Rappers, Performers, and Artists for you to enjoy. Thank you for listening and will be back on September 1st.

Shakespeare's Sonnets 18, 29, 109, 116, 130

BAWDS Podcast Productions

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2020 8:02

Five of Shakespeares best loved sonnets (18, 29, 109, 116, 130), read from home in lockdown by our accomplished actors.

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Jack's Poetry Slam 2: Iambic Boogaloo

Jack Of All Nerds Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2020 56:29

On this episode we review the Garth Brooks: The Road I'm On and Hannah Gadsby: Douglas, for this week's Crossing the Streams. For current events, we discuss the Bill & Ted Face the Music trailer, the new about production starting on Into the Spider-Verse 2, and why Ruby Rose quit Batwoman. For our main topic, Derrick and Michael break out some poetry they wrote in high school. Check it out and laugh with them...or at them.

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CharRon Smith: Wait. Who? Feat. Auntie Vice