Podcasts about sometimes i'm

Tapes And Scowls time once again! Max dusts off his soapbox, a trailer is sleightly off point, Durant is somehow back, Denzel and more. Have at it! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/capesandscowls/support

Wednesday night 5/26/21 - Sermon titled "Sometimes I'm That Bug In Your Soup" - Pastor James Eakins

In honor of Women's History Month, here's two unashamedly strong women: mother and daughter, Dorian and Tyla. How honest can you be with your parents? How honest can you be with your children? 18-year-old Tyla has an extremely honest mother — often she thinks Dorian is TOO honest. Dorian says she has a commitment to being truthful, and not "sugar-coating," putting on a face, or playing a role, which she feels doesn't serve anyone, especially her daughter. It's easy to forget just how hard parenting is. Nobody hands you a manual. So you have to use love, respect, and compassion to fumble your way through. TYLA: What is our greatest misunderstanding and what can we do about it? DORIAN: My delivery. But I'm honest. The truth is the truth. Whether you sugarcoat it or whether you just bluntly say it.  TYLA: But people listen more... DORIAN: No they don't. TYLA: I would. DORIAN: No you don't. There are instances where I'm like, "Tyla, could you do this?" or "I suggest this" and you're like, "BUT MOM! I DON'T WANNA DO THIS" So I'm like, "the hell with it." And then I'll be mean and the brutally honest part comes out and that's the part that sticks with you for a few days. But when I was trying to be nice? TYLA: You make me feel so insecure. DORIAN: But I don't mean to. This world is hard, you're going to get your feelings hurt. I feel like why not hurt them first? I don't want to, but I say things in my honest opinion... I love you. I love you to death but not everybody's going to love you. People are going to give you their honest opinion and at least you'll be prepared. But I'll work on it. To have more meaningful conversations like you hear in this podcast, try {THE AND} Relationship Card Games: TheSkinDeep.com/Store

Drawing on her Brooklyn upbringing and family dynamic, Randi’s unique brand of comedy springs from her belief that “there’s healing in laughter and in telling the truth”… and the reality that the truth can be absurd, ridiculous, and oh so comical!   3:58 | Terry-Ann Introducing Randi Simon Lupo: Writer, Actress, Creator and Performer of the acclaimed One-Woman Show “Sometimes I’m Ok.” Randi has performed throughout the Greater New York area in clubs such as Comix at Foxwoods, The New York Comedy Club, Gotham Comedy Club, Broadway Comedy Club, The Metropolitan Room and Catch A Rising Star – Princeton to name a few.   5:22 | Terry-Ann/Randi Contrasting different comedic worlds: Stand-Up vs. Theatre.   8:00 | Terry-Ann How do you develop, evolve and debut a One-Woman Show?   11:44 | Terry-Ann/Randi On actively marketing and traveling a show, especially in a time of COVID.   13:54 | Terry-Ann/Randi Comedy “the drug.” Finding inspiration and content for developing Stand-Up.   15:51 | Terry-Ann/Randi The importance of finding a mentor.   17:48 | Terry-Ann/Randi The business side of the comedy business.   18:55 | Terry-Ann/Randi Building a bigger toolbox – hosting, acting, performing, writing.   21:23 | Terry-Ann/Randi Developing a second One-Woman Show – stretching and challenging your own talents.   27:10 | Terry-Ann/Randi OUTTAKE: from Gregory Stock, Ph.D.’s, The Book of Questions 1987 ed. TAZ asks “If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?”   Randi Simon Lupo Website: www.SometimesImOk.com Facebook: Randi Simon Lupo: https://www.facebook.com/randi.lupo YouTube: randilupo: https://www.youtube.com/user/randilupo Podcast: The Randi Lupo Show: https://www.spreaker.com/user/11763979/the-randi-lupo-show     Terry-Ann Zander TAZ Comedy Hotline: 201-874-5971 Facebook: @Terry-Ann Zander - https://www.facebook.com/terryann.zander     Terri Walters Twitter: @TerriLWalters - https://twitter.com/TerriLWalters LinkedIn: @TerriLWalters - https://www.linkedin.com/in/terrilwalters/ Email: Terri@MoonfishProduction.com   Some Kind of Comedian Website: https://www.somekindofcomedian.com/podcast Facebook: @SomeKindofComedian - https://www.facebook.com/SomeKindofComedian/   Event Yak Website: https://www.eventyak.com/podcast Facebook: @TheEventYak - https://www.facebook.com/TheEventYak/ Email: terri@eventyak.com   Moonfish Production, Ltd. Website: http://www.moonfishproduction.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/moonfish-production-ltd-/ Facebook: @MoonfishCreative - https://www.facebook.com/MoonfishCreative/ Email: info@MoonfishProduction.com  

I've had a goal to run a sub-30 minute 5K for years. Sometimes I'm all in with the goal and sometimes I'm not. The difference is that when I decide to postpone or even stop my work on the goal, I don't beat myself up for it.   It's the difference between a change in focus and quitting on yourself. And, today's podcast shows you how to do make sure you keep your ultimate goal in mind, even when your daily focus has to change.   Get the Free Course here: http://phit.click/freecourse

When Jesus works, his followers experience joy, but his enemies experience something else. Sometimes I'm jealous or envious when I see Jesus heal someone else or when he makes a difference in someone else's life. Let's ask God to help us trust him and watch with joy as Jesus works. He's working all the time. Our job is to join him and experience his joy.

Sometimes, I'm Just Overwhelmed. Anf Yo know what? That is perfectly fine. Even though I have ton of great things going on right now, it feels like I'm trying to put together a beautiful puzzle, but I can't find any corner or edge pieces. Although I feel overwhelmed, I know that I am working toward something special, and that continues to drive me --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/learn-for-2/message

Nate Kingsbury, lead pastor of Stoney Church, and Founder of More Than a Bus, sits down and shares the story of the way that a mission trip to Toronto changed his heart and how his life in ministry has come full circle. Plus, he shares what it's like to buy a school bus, how meeting the needs of the least of these has changed his life, and how he's embracing stillness in a new way during this season of Quarantine. Don't miss out on this episode all about the importance of serving others.  Listen in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, jennvanhekken.com/podcast, or anywhere you find your favorite podcast episodes. Where to Find Nate: Facebook More Than a Bus Facebook Page More Than a Bus Website What He Recommends:  God Guides by Mary Geegh What He Says: "We get so busy that we don't even notice when the sun sets or when the sun rises anymore." "Sometimes I'm doing more than I'm listening...and that's why God is teaching me to be still during this time." "I'm a people-pleaser, and I want to keep the peace at all costs...but we're not meant to please others, we're meant to live a life that pleases God." "We are each one or two decisions away from being homeless ourselves." "My prayer is that even those who haven't experienced their own challenging times will still have a desire to care for the poor...my prayer is that we will want to take care of the poor and reach out to them." "When God has given you a dream, don't give up on it. Don't give up on what God has called you to do.  Just listen to the Holy Spirit and do what he tells you to do."    

Covid Created Customers With Julie Bannister Josh: All right. Everyone out there in podcast land, I've got a cool guest for us today. We've got Julie Bannister from BforB, and she's been doing some special stuff with businesses for a number of years and several different flavours, and overall, she helps businesses grow and thrive. And who wouldn't want to grow and thrive at a time like now? So Julie, tell me, how would you say we could best take advantage of the current pandemic? Learn more about Covid created customers at dorksdelivered.com.au Julie Bannister: Hi Josh. Well thank you and thank you for having me on the podcast today. I think obviously we all are online because we cannot meet face to face and that was the whole part of our business. It was face to face business networking. So we had to pivot. I think that's a trendy word just at the moment. Josh: Isn't it? Julie Bannister: It is. I feel a little bit bad saying it, but we have had to change and we've had to go online. So that is our only option. That's everyone's option is to be online and really to support each other. But I think we all have to realise that it's not the end, it's not that we won't come out the other side of this pandemic, and it's not that we can't also grow in this time. Julie Bannister: So I think that is one thing that we really need to be aware of and for everybody to be aware of, and for us to think of ways that we can, and I've seen many of our members of BforB, and other business people just looking at how they can maybe take things online and sell their product online or doing other things so that they can stay afloat in this time and then come out the other side and thrive. Julie Bannister: So we've got lots of things that we're doing. That's one thing that I think we all need to be looking at, at this present point of time. Josh: Absolutely. Changing around the way that you do business is incredibly important and making sure that you're ready for the boom. And I think this is for some businesses, has come as a complete shock, to other businesses, they've seen this as a bit of a kick in the butt to start doing things a little bit differently. And it's all about just making sure that you're ready. And there's just been a breakneck speed that we've seen people do some of these changes. Josh: I guess what you're saying and I'll bring it to an analogy I'm very fond of which is comparing success to a Chinese bamboo tree. So the Chinese bamboo tree you can plant and for the first five years, it grows only very, very small amounts. And then on the fifth year, in six weeks, it grows 80 feet. Julie Bannister: Oh my goodness! Josh: I know. Julie Bannister: We've got bamboo in our backyard and it's been there for about four years. Josh: And using what you said as an analogy, I think all of us have some bamboo in their own backyard and one way or another. Julie Bannister: Yes. Josh: It's about working that out now and harvesting that and planting the seeds now because people right now isn't the time to bury your head in the sand. It's the time to be building relationships and helping people out and making sure that when things come good, you already have that groundwork done. You already know who you know, like and trust and you've already built those relationships up. Josh: So that you can then move forward and move onwards and upwards. Julie Bannister: Definitely. Josh: So anyone that's looking to start a business, this is the most ideal time. And I can say that with a lot of confidence, knowing that Dorks Delivered would start in 2007 as a bit of a side hustle, another one of those words that everyone overuses. Josh: And it was 2009 that we had the, I guess, mini-recession in Australia and the global financial crisis. And that was our time that we absolutely boomed. I gave up my day job, turned that into my full-time gig and I've never looked back. Julie Bannister: Wow. I didn't know that Josh. I've talked to you a lot, but I didn't know that. Yes, interesting. Josh: Yeah, and I think this is the best time that people should be growing businesses. People shouldn't be closing and they should be pivoting them wherever they can and making sure they're taking advantage of the huge amounts of time that people have available. Julie Bannister: Yes, definitely. Josh: So an example I'll use, my podcast has been running now for a bit of time and the YouTube channel has been running for a bit of time. Josh: We have over 100 videos in the YouTube channel published, I think about 120 podcasts and about 180 recorded. But I was only looking this morning at the dashboard for where we're sitting. So the podcast, just looking at it right now, the podcast, the difference in traffic between February and March increased to 30% more listeners. Julie Bannister: Wow. Josh: If we have a look at the YouTube channel, it's increased. The watch time has gone up by 47%. Julie Bannister: That is amazing. Josh: 47% for the month, just ridiculous. And the view count's gone up by 10% and so I think what we can take home from that is, going up by 10% means that I've got 10% more viewers or customers, but the current customers having watched 47% more of my content has shown that they have enjoyed what we're doing, but they just haven't had the time to look at it in the past. Josh: That's where you've got people with more time and what you guys are offering, which I'd love to make sure everyone else knows a bit more about that, but what you guys are offering is going to mean that they can build those relationships with that available time. If they have available time to watch my stupid videos, they definitely have available time to build relationships. Julie Bannister: I must say that videos, very entertaining. They're not stupid, they're entertaining. Sometimes I'm not quite sure why you said that, and why you say some things, but they are definitely very entertaining. Josh: I'm going to say something I'd normally never say, but I was told many years ago, you can have something that's boring. You can have a boring topic or something that people don't give a crap about and someone said, "They can give a crap about, you just have to roll it in glitter." And I'm like, "Okay, no worries." Josh: So you take a boring subject like IT and stuff like that, and you roll it in glitter and that's what the YouTube channel and podcast is all about. Julie Bannister: That's what you definitely do. Josh: That's right. So you've been running something called BforB in one form or another for quite a while and BforB connects people together and builds those relationships up. Julie Bannister: Yes. Josh: So tell me about what you're doing now for people that are looking to grow their business. Julie Bannister: Yes. Okay. So just to go back a step, you mentioned when you were talking Josh, that building the relationships and that's the core essence of networking and business because you need to build those relationships to actually get, as everybody says, the know, like and trust, so that people will want to do business with you. Julie Bannister: And that's what we do in networking. So now that we can't meet face to face, what we're doing is, we've gone online and obviously, the meetings are free to join in, and we're actually launching in a number of different areas. So we're launching in regional Queensland, we're launching in New South Wales in Sydney, and building extra groups near where we are here in Brisbane and Adelaide, and the Gold Coast. Julie Bannister: So allowing people to join in, in the already established network with our formatted meeting structure, it's formatted and it's professional, but it's friendly and casual if you can have that all in one. And you've attended some Josh and you understand that that's what it is. We like people to have fun when they're there. So currently, we're allowing people to take advantage of that and we're offering free membership, well we're saying three months at the moment, but that may have to be extended. Julie Bannister: We're saying the hopeful, three months, this nightmare, we'll be out of this nightmare and we'll be back to life. But that may need to be extended. So that free membership will be extended for however long we're in this situation and allowing people to join in with our network. And we have some larger meetings where all of the members all over Australia connects. Julie Bannister: So that would be people's opportunity to connect with everyone. But it's allowing people to build the relationships now and when we've got the time, as you mentioned, then when we come out of this, those relationships will still be there. And from that, hopefully, referral business can start happening for many, many people. Wonderful, I'm just so excited about it. Julie Bannister: I was sharing with my coach the other day and we got so excited about what we can do for businesses at the moment. And as you mentioned, Josh, people who are not even in business, it's a great time for people to start thinking about that. Josh: Absolutely. We've got an abundance of time. Julie Bannister: Yes, yes. Everybody's got a lot of time. And there's such an opportunity for everyone in this situation and this is the way that we feel that we can help people, help our current members as well because they get connected with other people and we're all hurting at the moment in one way or another. We're all coping in one way or another and all differently. But this is, I believe, a great opportunity for people to be building those relationships now for the future. Josh: Fully agree, as you've pointed out in different words, but your network is your net worth. Julie Bannister: Yes, definitely. Josh: And creating a good network and talking to people right now is the best thing you can do. Those without a voice, won't be heard. And if you're going to just sit there in your sorrows, it's not going to build your business or your mindset, or grow yourself personally. So jumping into a group, as you've very, very generously pushed a free reason. There's no reason, there's nothing to lose, if they just want to spend a bit of time building up their relationships with people now. Josh: When everyone comes back, as I was saying with the bamboo tree, as soon as everyone kicks back into gear, things will be striving through and thriving for them and their business. So it's sensible to set the groundwork now. Sow the seeds, put them in the ground, even if it's not five years, if it's five months that we're in this a pandemic for, it would mean that in five months' time you've hit the gas pedal and you're absolutely cracking out goals. So we'll make sure to put a link towards that because I think that's very, very important and that people do jump onto that. Julie Bannister: There's one thing else that you touched on is that, some of us, and I know even in the last couple of weeks, I've wanted to put my head in the sand or go back to bed and put the pillow over my head and forget that anybody even exists. Josh: I had a talk to my mate, Jack Daniels. We're sweet. We were pretty close. Julie Bannister: My challenge is that if I get too stressed, alcohol doesn't do me good at all. So that's not my answer. But I think we have to not be tough on ourselves because realising that some moments in the day will feel a bit like that and other moments will feel, no, I can do this. So we really do need to acknowledge that and get connected with people so that we can all pull each other through all of this and not be too hard on ourselves, I believe. Josh: Absolutely. Being able to sit down and just, if you want to do it with me right now, Julie, I think it'd be good. Just take a deep breath, and take a breathe in, and breathe out. And then just know, and recollect yourself, and recollect your thoughts and your position. Feel comfortable about where you've come from and this is something that I always try reflecting on every three months, every year, every five years, I go back and look at each of the different business plans that I've made either from the start of the year and go, okay, what have I achieved? Josh: What have I been able to achieve? What have I been able to climb out of? What's been the driving motivator and those things and go, I can do lots. I can't believe how much I've done and be excited about those things and then go, okay, how can I, in a time like now where people are thinking we don't have the resources to do things, we don't have the ability to go and see people. Josh: It's a time where you just need to pivot your mindset and think about how resourceful we have the world at the moment. Being able to do things such as Zoom. We have the ozone layer that's clearing itself up at the moment. We have a huge amount of benefits that are coming from this. Now there's going to be a whole bunch of fallout from that as well and what the world looked like when we went in is not going to be what it looks like when we come back out. Josh: But knowing that you're still here fighting the fight and you have a game plan and way to position your business, it gives you something to drive towards and thrive towards. Like your kids at Christmas time when you tell them to be good and then say Santa's coming. Like, "Oh, I'll be good then." You just got to have something to work towards and know that you can create that sparkle in your eye and your family's. Julie Bannister: Yes. I think the gem in that is, or the key point in that is being connected with other people, whether it's your family, but I think business people, we are a little bit different and we can't always talk to our family members about the challenges or the stress that we're feeling in business. So being connected with business people, is really important in any way you at the moment, I think. Yes. Josh: Absolutely. You're exactly right Julie, and we need to have people being connected with their businesses and what they're doing and also understand that your business and your personal life are two separate things and building relationships in business can help you out personally as well as in business. That's very, very important to make sure you differentiate the health of your business and the health of yourself. Josh: I paused everything to do with Dorks Delivered and I paused it for three days as I went through the personal approach and game plan as to what we would be doing and how we'd be making sure we're okay personally. And then once I was confident with the results, I then started looking at the vehicle that brings us the success that we've got in our lives. Julie Bannister: That's very interesting. I didn't know that. That's another point I didn't know, but I also didn't even think of doing that. So that's a very good point Josh. Josh: Well I think it's knowing that your family is going to be healthy. I'm a bit of a forward thinker and I'll plan for the worst and hope for the best and that's what everyone should do. Nothing out of the ordinary. I didn't go do some bulk buying or anything like that. I don't have a room full of toilet paper. Julie Bannister: I hope you've got enough though. Josh: I've got a mango tree at the back. Julie Bannister: Ooh. Josh: But yeah, just the normal amount that fits under our sink and that we'd normally buy and just knowing that we've got our water bottles filled up. I've got CB radio set up to mum and dad if something was to go wrong with the phone networks or internet or something like that. Just knowing if we have a complete blackout type situation, that you can still talk to your loved ones and where you're at with your mindset and your finances and that. Josh: That's something that I'd definitely suggest everyone doing is just having a look at what the government is putting on the line for businesses. There is quite a number of things we went through and we could see that if you were to be in an 800,000 to $10 million turnover business, you'd be pretty comfortably able to find about $350,000 worth of advantages from the government at the moment. Julie Bannister: I haven't added that up. That's interesting. Josh: Yeah. So that's the numbers that we've got too and we've been talking to any other businesses, and this was something that I went through and spent a couple of days just looking at all the different literature that's available online to see what any of the different stimulus packages include and don't include, and make sure that you're aware of them before you start stressing out thinking customers are leaving and this is happening and that's happening. Josh: Just take a moment to collect yourself, see where you're at and see what is actually available out there and you'd be surprised at what businesses are happy to help out with and in a time like now, as I said, it's about building relationships. One business, we spoke to them, someone that we buy things from, so a vendor for us and we said, "Look, we need to know, are you relaxing any of your terms? You've pretty much presented us with a bill for $3,000." Josh: And he said, "No, if you don't like it, you don't have to stay with us." And I said, "Well, at the moment we would love to stay with you, but it's an auxiliary product that we weren't using with many customers." And we said, No, we're going to have to cut you out." And he goes, "We've had 30 cancellations this month. I don't know what's going on." And I thought, "Well you're an idiot then." Julie Bannister: He needs to open his eyes and ears. Definitely, wow. Josh: I said to him, "We'd be more than happy to utilise your products more than what we have been. We definitely see value in your product. If you give us some marketing material, we're happy to promote your product to help us help you out with this situation." Josh: And he said, "Oh no, I don't have time for that." I went, "Ah well, if you're not going to invest in your customers, you're not going to invest in your relationships. You're not going to invest in your business." It's fair that businesses with that mindset will collapse. And that's again, another thing that I found in going to the BforBs was, it's not just about the business, but you have a whole bunch of other advantages where you have keynote speakers and you have people come to these groups and they talk about the importance of doing certain things in business. Josh: Whether that be setting up your business in a certain way from an accounting perspective or creating videos for promoting your business or whatever the case may be. Automating and bringing back your life, which I'm a big fan of. Julie Bannister: We do have our guest speakers and that is a great value add. And just recently, we've been having a lot of speakers talking about the different packages that the government is offering and a lot of people are doing this, but we're still giving support around your mental health and things like that. But overall, we have guest speakers who talk about marketing, sales, IT, accounting, mindset, all different topics that can help people in their business. Julie Bannister: So yes, definitely, that is a great value add. And as you mentioned, it's not just about business, the friendships people make in BforB is just, it's so valuable, you can't put a price on it. And another value add that a lot of people receive from being a member of BforB is the confidence that you build because little by little, so you might be asked to do a one-minute infomercial and that's very frightening to a lot of people. Josh: Absolutely. Julie Bannister: Yes. And then we'll ask you to do a five minute, and then a 10 minute, and many of our members who've joined and was so scared to do a one-minute infomercial, are actually doing 25-minute presentations now. So it's a confidence-building and within a very, very, very supportive environment. Yes. So that's one of the biggest benefits I believe. Josh: You were talking about some things, new things that you learned about me today. One of the things, I can't remember if I've told you this or not, but I was severely bullied at school to a spot that I wasn't able to walk and I was very introverted. I was the guy that, I'm going to call myself wicked awesome at chess. No one challenged me to that because if you're challenging me, you're probably better, but I was the guy in the library playing chess. Josh: That was my hangout. I was not confident to talk to people. I was not confident to be in the spotlight whatsoever. I was overweight and it was a battle and it was a time where something clicked and I realised that if I have developed the cure for cancer from a computer standpoint in managing and automating businesses, but I'll have that sitting in my garage. Josh: No one has the advantage from that. I'm sure someone has got a cure for cancer and it's just sitting in their garage and they don't have the voice to be able to speak, and speak and talk to people about it. And things like BforB, and being able to come outside of your comfort circle. Josh: Proud of me knowing about BforB was put onto a roadshow to talk to people about IT. It was a five-day roadshow. The first day that I did that roadshow, I recorded it because I was going to put it up on the web for people to have a look at. I watched it. I nearly threw up. I was like, oh my goodness, that's terrible. I can't believe I've done that. I've got four more days of this with no audience engagement and I've gone, oh this is terrible. This is so terrible. I was going to call in sick. I've never wanted my mum to write me a letter to say I can't come to school so much as a grown adult. Josh: I was thinking, I'm freaking out. I watched that same 30 minute video, maybe 10 times that night and I'm writing down what did I do wrong? How did I move my hands? I didn't like that. I look really nervous. How can I fix this? And I wrote down and critiqued everything. The Tuesday, I did the presentation and everyone loved it. They stood up and clapped. They gave me a standing ovation. Josh: I thought, oh, this makes Wednesday a lot easier. That's not to say I didn't watch it still, but BforB gives you exactly that power to be able to... It doesn't matter if you're a scared little mouse and you sit down. It gives you the growth to be able to talk and to know that other people are in the same boat as you. You're not just the only person that's feeling that way. Julie Bannister: That's exactly right. Yes, and that's actually the thing that rocks my boat in BforB is watching people grow and getting that confidence. The referrals, yes, because we need a return on our investment. That is still very important. But that confidence building, it's grows the person and the business. So that's so important. Josh: Yeah, well, Julie it's been great speaking with you and is there anything else you'd like to talk about before we finish this one up? Julie Bannister: We have some online meetings. As I mentioned before, we have our BforB regular meetings at the same time that we used to have our regular face to face meetings. We've got monthly networking, which is open to everyone to come on and we have a guest speaker with that one and I can share the link with you, Josh if you feel that's appropriate. Josh: That'd be perfect. Absolutely, that'd be great. Julie Bannister: Yes. And we do have our daily business, every business day from 10 o'clock till 11:30 where people can just come in and chat with us. No formal meeting, just connecting with people. So yeah. Josh: Cool. Well Julie, I'll make sure to make sure that all of our listeners out there in podcast land get those links and are able to really have a compounding growth for their business over the next few, hopefully only weeks, probably months, but likely, several months. But we'll see how they go. Julie Bannister: Definitely. Thanks for having me. Josh: No worries. And if anyone has enjoyed this, make sure to jump across to iTunes, give us a review, and everyone out there, stay good.

Still one man down but that won't stop us. This week we kick things off with a Florida story that was sent in, then we transition in to some good ol Porn talk. We also talk about some of the big games out right now and we also talk about some movies. We have an interesting story from Oregon and we talk about some highly entertaining TV shows... followed by more talk about Porn.

#95 Sometimes I'm not entirely convinced we're doing this social isolation things right.You can find me, Werner Puchert on LinkedIn and Twitter.

Scared to be great???????? Whaaaaaaaaaa??? Why? Take it how you want it, but I think if your goal does not scare you it is not a goal. You should be scared of being great so that you are Great!! Godspeed!

Being real and vulnerable with each other is SO important when it comes to mental health.  Almost ALL of us will suffer with symptoms at some point in our lives, so helping each other by UNDERSTANDING each other is important.  Let's talk about it! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/rhonda-marsh/message

This is Chris Schultz's 2nd time on Restaurant Unstoppable. We met over 4 years ago at the NRA show and he was on a panel I was hosting. A few months later I hosted Chris on Restaurant Unstoppable, Episode 341! Hands down, one of my best interviews out of 691 total episodes. It was so good, I re-published it last week. In that episode, we discuss how Chris helped Starbucks scale from 200 to 20,000 locations. Then we discussed how Chris helped launch and Scale MOD Pizza from its first single unit to 400 locations. When we last left Chris, his focus was on bringing MOD international. That was 3 years ago. Today, and for the last 2 years, Chris has served as the CEO of VOODOO Doughnut. Show notes… Calls to ACTION!!! Subscribe to the Restaurant Unstoppable YouTube Channel Join the private Unstoppable Facebook Group Join the email list! (Scroll Down to get the Vendor List!) Favorite success quote or mantra: "Failure is not an option." In today's episode with Chris Shultz we will discuss: Problems are inevitable in restaurants; you have be willing to solve them Don't bring a problem; bring a solution Finding the right time to leave a role Scaling nationally vs. internationally Treat it like you own it How Chris brought Starbucks and MOD Pizza to the UK The degradation of culture through expansion Treating people fairly and holding them accountable Partners must align with your culture Having a "bad day" is mental; avoid it Must be tenacious and optimistic; authentic and committed as an operator A great a couch shouldn't be surprised when things go right What we can learn from observing accomplished sports coaches Trust goes both ways for employees, leaders, and investors Say "good morning" to everyone It's about the experience in today's world of delivery apps Listen to your staff AND your customers Do the right thing! Today's sponsor: BentoBox empowers restaurants to own their presence, profits and relationships. The hospitality platform disrupts third-party services that come between the restaurant and the guest. BentoBox puts the restaurant first and offers tools that drive high-margin revenue directly through the restaurant’s website. BentoBox is trusted and loved by over 5,000 restaurants worldwide including Union Square Hospitality Group, Eleven Madison Park, Gramercy Tavern, Lilia and more. Gusto offers modern, easy payroll, benefits, and HR to small businesses across the country — they were even named best online payroll by PCMag. And as a listener, you’ll get three months free when you run your first payroll. Sign up and give it a try at Gusto.com/unstoppable.  MarginEdge is the only restaurant management system to combine automatic invoice processing with POS and accounting integrations, improving financial performance, visibility, and efficiency. It all starts with snapping a photo of invoices with your smartphone. We take it from there – every line item and every handwritten note is captured. We then integrate with your POS, so each day you know everything you bought and everything you sold. We create a rolling P&L with drill-down capability and it flows effortlessly to your Accounting System of choice. For 50% off your first year. Go to me.marginedge.com/unstoppable Knowledge bombs Which "it factor" habit, trait, or characteristic you believe most contributes to your success? Gratitude What is your biggest weakness? "Sometimes I'm a little full of myself" What's one question you ask or thing you look for during an interview? What are you passionate about? What's a current challenge? How are you dealing with it? Be honest/transparent Share one code of conduct or behavior you teach your team. Keep enough doughnuts in stock/knowing when to grow What is one uncommon standard of service you teach your staff? Be nice What's one book we must read to become a better person or restaurant owner? Start With Why by Simon Sinek It's Not About the Coffee by Howard Behar and Janet Goldstein GET THIS BOOK FOR FREE AT AUDIBLE.COM  What's one thing you feel restaurateurs don't know well enough or do often enough? Take time to reflect/check in with your team Name one service you've hired Audrey Lincoff for PR at Audrey Lincoff Communications - Seattle, WA What's one piece of technology you've adopted within your restaurant walls and how has it influence operations? Toast POS If you got the news that you'd be leaving this world tomorrow and all memories of you, your work, and your restaurants would be lost with your departure with the exception of 3 pieces of wisdom you could leave behind for the good of humanity, what would they be? Be grateful Be humble Be authentic Contact info: Voodoo Doughnut website Email: chric@voodoodoughnut.com Instagram: @voodoodoughnut Twitter: @voodoodoughnut Facebook: @VoodooDoughnutMain Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for joining today! Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below! If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post. Also, please leave an honest review for the Restaurant Unstoppable Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and I read each and every one of them. And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes to get automatic updates. Huge thanks to Chris Schultz for joining me for another awesome episode. Until next time!   Restaurant Unstoppable is a free podcast. One of the ways I'm able to make it free is by earning a commission when sharing certain products with you. I've made it a core value to only share tools, resources, and services my guest mentors have recommend, first. If you're finding value in my podcast, please use my links!

Nadya indulged me in taking this podcast in new directions after listeners said they'd like to hear more unscripted conversation for a more human conversation.Before starting recording, we talked about the difference between celebrating the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising and the 50th anniversary of walking on the moon. You'll hear that we spoke and got along swimmingly for a while.Then we began misunderstanding each other for about half the conversation, talking past each other. It wasn't my intent, but conversations like it happen all the time. Sometimes I'm in them, others I hear others get stuck in them.I don't know if you'll find it entertaining, tragic, or what. It was certainly frustrating in the moment, but Nadya and I were doing this not to annoy but to understand.By the end, we didn't wrap everything up, but I think we came out okay. Before posting I asked if she was okay with it and she responded with an enthusiastic yet.So by popular demand, you get to hear how conversations on the environment often go, even after years of practice, even between people who overwhelmingly agree with each other.I think she genuinely meant it about recognizing the process of coming to understanding, which she differentiates from agreement, necessitates the kind of conversation we had. I'm realizing I have to speak accurately every time, though I recognize that even then, people misunderstand each other.In any case, amid our talk about mines and litter, she took her challenge seriously and didn't give up on it. On the contrary, she added to it, and, as I heard, it augmented the rest of her life.Nadya's home page See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is a continuation of my interview with Ronan O'Connor who is @yogagolfdad on Instagram, a micro-influencer. Episode 10, I interviewed him and helped you guys get to know who he is, about how he became a micro-influencer, what a micro-influencer even is and kind of laid the groundwork. In this continuation of that conversation, we get more into how he uses personality and makes it relatable to his followers using humor and the fit between himself as a micro-influencer and the brands that he works with. He talks about some of the benefits that he gets and how the brands, how they experience benefits, how they communicate with him and find him and kind of strike a deal together, so to speak. And he gives examples of brands, experiences that he creates around the brands with his followers. So, I hope you find this interesting, valuable and fun. Hi, everybody. Welcome to Episode 11 and I didn't know we were going to be able to have Ronan O'Connor back, but he's been so gracious to give us some more of his time so we can go into a little more of the nitty gritty around the influencer world and micro-influencer world and how it might help you in your brand this year and in 2020 and beyond. So Ronan, thank you so much again for being here. He's at @yogagolfdad on Instagram. Yeah. Thanks, Carey, great to be back. Thank you. So, I'm going to dive right in here. I wanted to ask you something now so our listeners can think about how aspects of the micro-influencers personality can be really powerful in relatability. When you think about what will be relatable to your future customer or your customer that you have today or that you want to upsell or resell, that's kind of what I want to talk about. So Ronan, we often see your sense of humor. I mean, I literally laugh out loud when I see your feed a lot of times. You're so funny and your sense of humor is shared regularly with your following. Can you tell us kind of what that means to you? Like how do you integrate it into your communication and why do you kind of go all out with it? To grab attention? To be memorable? Like where do you come from with it? Yeah. Honestly it's just naturally how I am and as we spoke about in the last podcast, I don't overthink things too much on my Instagram. I'm just putting myself out there to the world and what I'm doing with my life and yeah, it just so happens that I'm naturally funny. Yeah, I don't overthink it. And it's just stuff that I'm doing, whether it's golfing with my friends and we're just having fun, like I'm just showing people what we're up to, you know what I mean? Because not a lot of people golf and they don't know what goes on. And a lot of people, like as an example would be like, "Well, if only I knew golf was this fun." And a lot of people ask me to play golf with them and all of that as well. So yeah. I mean just to answer your question, it's just, I'm just putting myself out there, you know what I mean? Anyway, I am and it just so happens that humor is something that I am naturally good at and just putting up my videos which so happen to be funny sometimes. You know what I mean? Sometimes I'm not even trying to be funny and people like... I get so many responses and it's like, "Well, I didn't even know that was funny." And then like for example, I don't know if you noticed, I haven't done it in a while, but I'd be driving home in traffic and just dealing with slow drivers and like- Prius. ... in particular Prius's. Yeah, exactly. I was going to bring that up. That became a thing. That's probably one of the biggest thing that people go on about is like, I don't know, for whatever reason they find that so funny. It is. But to me, like when I'm doing, I'm in like, because that's how I am in the car. I don't overthink it. I'm just in a rage in my car it's like, "Come on," you know, and there's a little Prius driver, driving literally like 20 miles under the speed limit. I go, "Come on, I can't cope." And I don't know if everyone's like this, but when I'm driving, it's the only time where I'm really aggressive and it's not really... I'm not like that outside of my car for the most part, but it's just, I don't know, it's probably another topic for another day. But in the car, I guess people, you can be yourself and just really scream out, you know what I mean? And that's what I do and that's what I'm putting out there. That's just who I am. You know what I mean? Well, you round it out. Like it's not like you're only talking about yoga, golf and being a father. Yeah. You're showing more. And I think why people think it's funny is because we all have been there in the car when we're so frustrated with someone around us in another car and then it's just like, we're not in it, or we're likely like at our desk or waiting for a doctor appointment on our phone. And it's just funny. And just to finish off quick with the Prius's, it just so happened that I was driving through Harvard Square, which is right near Harvard University and for whatever reason in Cambridge, Massachusetts, it seems to be like the Prius capital of the world and every car was a Prius. So it was torture just going from A to B. So I was just like expressing my frustrations and that's how it all came about. You know, maybe Prius will call you and you can represent their brand in some hilarious way. I'll never. You'll never see me in a Prius like. Oh, that brings... I wasn't going to answer this question next, but it brings about something that you and I talked about is with some influencers, like the big ones have said that they regret taking on certain brand deals so to speak, because it wasn't really fitting with who they are. In the previous episode, everyone, if you haven't listened to Ronan, we do kind of lay the groundwork for getting to know him and kind of making the influencer come alive for you. He did, we talk about an amazing campaign that he did around a whiskey brand, a yoga brand and some clothing, I think. And it just really demonstrated well a partnership that he had as a micro-influencer that was really fitting with who he is and it was a huge success because he enjoyed it and he got the brand involved, they got involved and the community came together and it was just awesome. So Ronan, can you kind of share your thoughts about like what kind of brand relationships you would use or not use and I mean not giving specific names or anything like that, but just kind of how you think of it? For me, personally, as I mentioned previously, I don't do it for the money and I'm just putting my life out there and so I just, if someone approaching me and I don't like... I'm not tied to any brand is what I'm trying to say. So there are some brands that reach out to me and I respectfully declined, thanked them for reaching out, but I haven't... When money's not involved that you can really, really be yourself more and more. I'm on Instagram as a user, obviously myself and I follow like tons of people and I just noticed when some big influencers really take off and they start, it just seems like fake and scripted and they get away from who they really are. You know what I mean? To me it's important to just continue to be myself and never get away from that regardless of how many followers I have and all of that. Yeah. I think people love, just like we were both in sales, like at the end of the day people buy from people and just being authentic and who you are and not scripted and fake. That's a really good point. People see right through that, you know what I mean? That's a really good point. Well, the next kind of area is like a lot of small brands don't think they can tap into anything around so called influencers because they cost thousands of dollars, tens of thousands of dollars, maybe even influencer marketing rather as an industry. I talked about this in the episode that I did just alone to kind of let you all know what's happening in the influencer world this year, but it's going to become an $8 billion industry, that's billion with a B, and it's emerged into its own marketing channel, which is crazy. When Ronan and I were at Forrester, Forrester kind of laid out the analyst concentrations around different marketing channel and the concentration, the specialties within those. So there's like email marketing, content marketing, SEO, of course social media marketing, pay-per-click advertising and paid ads like Facebook ads. Those are some examples. And now influencer marketing podcast, too, by the way. Crazy but good but true. But I talked about how Estée Lauder recently announced that they plan to allocate 75% of their marketing budget to influencer marketing in 2020. That is just a huge, I really was shocked, but- Well, that is. That is a lot. But like also kind of, I guess it just got here a little sooner than I expected, too. But part of the movement behind micro-influencer opportunities for both sides, for you all as brands and for the influencers themselves is that brands started to realize quite frequently that often they're not only expensive, but that they're difficult to work with, the big huge influencers, and that's kind of sometimes the grumble out there. But also it's obvious that they can be more accessible and more quickly responsive, the ones that are smaller, like from 10,000 to 50,000 or something like that. So you talked about how you're excited to work with brands that are a good fit with you, Ronan. I guess a question that I think would be helpful to people, too, is do you put your contact information in your bio and kind of how do companies find you and how do you like to be communicated with when it's fresh? Like when you don't know it's coming? You know what I mean? Yeah. Just like when people reply laughing at my stories or comment on my posts, most of it's just from people like direct messaging me on Instagram. I do have my email up there. Some people email me, but I honestly, I don't check my email that much. So the best way and what's happened for me in the past is just direct message and then if they want to take it offline, then we take it offline, whether it's through email or phone. But yeah, just the best way really is just through direct message. What do they say? Are they kind of straight forward and not take much time or do they go into a lot of detail? Like what does it look like? Yeah, it depends. Like different brands, some of them send you to links. I'm not sure if your listeners have dealt with this, but they send you to links and they have a whole writeup of what they would like you to do in return. To me it never seems genuine. It's just like they're probably sending it out- Oh, really? ... to hundreds of people, you know what I mean? But that they still can help them out. So I don't really spend too much time with them unless it's a brand that I like and I'll give it more of a look and then reach out to them directly, so it's not like it's more personal, before I commit to doing anything. But a lot of the brands that I've worked with, they really tie into stuff that I love and just naturally use in my day to day life. So it's like, "Wow," like I don't even... Yeah. I love this product, I love this brand. You know what I mean? It's just it's a no-brainer to me. Cool. And yeah, or like I've had, I've had like companies like 88 Acres, which is a local healthy and non-GMO nut free snack company here in Boston. And like they reached out to me and sent me a load of free stuff and I was like, "Oh my God, I love their products. I eat them all the time." Yeah, yeah. And it all started just because I gave my daughter, Natalia, some of their, it's not like called chocolate spread, I can't remember what they call it, but it's basically like a chocolate spread and it tastes so delicious and it had all the healthy ingredients and I was just like, well I just happened to put up a funny story of me and Natalia eating and people thought it was hilarious and then they reached out to me that way and that was just a... And then they sent us a lot of free swag. Like a lot of companies has done this where they'll send free swag to myself and Natalia and they'll have like my double XL size T-shirt on her, like three-year-old T-shirt and it's so cute and I love that. And I love when we wear matching clothes and stuff, so all that stuff is just so natural, you know what I mean? It's just a no-brainer. And again, it comes back to what we were talking about earlier, just being authentic and not forcing anything. You know what I mean? Yes. That is awesome. Okay. So, I explained earlier like micro-influencers tend to have a higher engagement rates because they aren't in the hundreds of thousands or millions of followers, so it's just easier to communicate with their base on direct message, like Ronan said, and in comments, they check them. It's more manageable. And Ronan, you don't even know this, but because of you, I purchased kombucha, that probiotic drink that you always- [inaudible 00:13:36]? [GT's 00:13:38], yeah, and I chose the ginger one and I didn't even fully even know the benefits, but because I perceive you as an athlete and I perceive myself as an athlete, so to speak, exercise very much a part of my life, I wanted to try it. I got it from Whole Foods and anyway, perhaps the repetition helped by me seeing it and I remembered it. But this is the real thing. It's conversion and can it be measured? Yeah, yeah, but sometimes not really. It just depends. But does it work to the extent that brands like literally invest the time and concentration on finding well-suited micro-influencers to feature their products or services? Absolutely. So we already kind of talked about like some of the examples of the partnerships, the brands that you've worked with, but can you kind of talk about what goes in it on your side? Like do you say like, "Well, I'm going to post a certain number of stories," or do you just kind of organically go through and integrate it into what you're already doing? Or does it vary? Yeah, it varies. Like, if for instance, it's an event that we're doing together, like a yoga event as an example, obviously you will meet and I'll ask them like, okay, what are they looking for? What are the expectations? Sometimes depending on the brand and the company, they're like, "Just be yourself. Whatever you think is best. You know your Instagram and your followers." Sometimes they want to see it done with their product, just certain words, certain things talked about with their product, but for the most part, they're just letting me do my thing, you know what I mean? And that's how I like it. That's great. Yeah, and I just do whatever I feel is just natural at the time. And that leads into like the whole conversation around trust, like the trust factor and all of this. I mean, we can tell that you aren't faking it when you share what you love. Yeah. I mean, just being authentic is something that, well, I think it's so important. And like another example, like Bold Body Apparel, one time they sent myself and Natalia matching yoga pants. No way. I didn't wear yoga pants at the time. Yeah. I would wear shorts. I was like, I thought they were layers. They had like goats on them. I don't know. Yeah, like they were black with like goats in white. Like G.O.A.T.'s great, like they're actual goats images, but it was like insinuating like the greatest of all time, which is a pretty big expression here, like just with Tom Brady. Oh, I just put that in my last TikTok video, if anyone wants to go check it out at All Social Y'all on TikTok. It's just a like a play on words and a lot of adults don't know what G.O.A.T. means. Yeah. Greatest of all time or B.O.A.T. is another one that I've heard, best of all time. Well yeah, they just sent me some free swag for me and Natalia. Then I just went and did a video just to thank them of the two of us wearing the swag and it was all matching and- That's so great. ... I actually loved it, you know what I mean? And I wore them to my classes and I was just amazed that they had a pair of pants so big to fit me. Yeah, oh, no, it's great. And the other thing, a little side note, because obviously most women have worn a pair of yoga pants before and I haven't worn them, I was like, "Oh, my God. Now I get what all the rave is about, you know what I mean?" They're comfortable. Like they're so comfy and stretchy and I love them. It was- Yeah, I wish I had more honestly, even though I don't do yoga every day, they're just nice to wear. Yeah, exactly. Have you ever had like any kind of interaction from a follower that stands out to you regarding a product? Like something kind of elevated or, I don't know, I just wasn't sure if there was like something that stood out to you when you were representing a product that someone said like, "Yeah, because of you I bought kombucha." Yeah, I mean off the top of my head there's nothing that necessarily stands out. But I do get a lot of people asking questions about the products like, "Oh, what do you think?" And even sometimes I'm not even, they're not even... I just happened to be drinking it or using whatever it is. It didn't come directly from the company. It's just I'm trying it out myself and people are asking, too, you know what I mean? And it's people, I just tell them what I thought of it. And for the most part, like if I'm using it, it's something that I like, you know what I mean? And I just give them my honest feedback and opinion. And just like you mentioned earlier, you then went and got like the probiotic drink, you know what I mean? It's just the same thing. And I do the same. I see things myself and I go, "Yeah, I'm going to give that a try." Just get ideas and... Yeah. What advice would you give brands in finding micro-influencers if they don't want to hire an agency to identify a really good fit? Yeah, I mean for me personally, just have a person reach out to them directly just like in anything. I treat Instagram like I treat the real world. Like with all my followers, with people, I just communicate with them. Then just be authentic, like whether you're commenting on their posts, like don't have your end goal in mind. Get to know the person, reach out to them and just say, "Hey, we love your stuff," and just direct message them. They're not going to not respond. Especially if you're a brand looking to send them stuff or talk to them about potential. Yeah, just that's just how I am. You know what I mean? I don't know if you have different thoughts, but just being authentic and just reaching out to them. That's the best way to go about it. I agree. I agree. And not seem scripted, just in that you've sent this post to hundreds of other people, you know what I mean? Make it personal. Just like in sales, like we were both in sales and it's the same. The 20 minutes goes so fast talking with you Ronan. Thank you so much. You've given us two really great episodes getting to know you and getting to understand a little more about micro-influencers and we thank you. Have a great day everyone. Thanks for being here. Thank you. Bye-bye. Thanks for listening to the All Social Y'all Podcast. For free resources and materials, head over to allsocialyall.com. That's allsocial Y-A-L-L.com. Also, we'd love to hear from you. What subject areas would you like to hear about in future episodes? You can share that with us by dropping me a comment on our website or in Instagram @AllSocialYall.

I talk a lot about work life balance, but here I am to tell you to take another look into that concept. I came to understand that my life is always forcing me to one side. I can't be balanced 100% of the time. Sometimes I need to work more than I wanted. Sometimes I'm tired, and I just can't do anything than doing nothing. And that's ok. So I'm looking at this process as something more daily. I would like to practice programming every day. But I can't, because of other tasks I have to get done. So I'm getting conscious about what I am doing with my time during the day. And understanding how can I add programming practice as something important without sleeping less, without missing a meal and other things that are not negotiable. So I'm not sad that I can't practice programming every day. It's a current fact, as of Jan 2020. I'm not going to solve that issue balancing my life, cause the balance never happens. At this moment, I'm seeking to work less hours in clients to be able to research more and have more innovative / creativity time available. It's a process, not something I can balance. Make sure you get more conscious about your day and your time. Start from that spot. -- Daniel Wildt

This Episode: Are Drugs really bad for you? - What Does Prison till Death mean? - Planet Fitness = Walmart people - Live to fight - Nissan D21 - YOU review - Mega sets - Weighted blankets - Oil Life 70% - Gym Life Etiquette - Die one more than 3 - Where do YOU wanna eat? - Aussie fires

Ken's Last Ever Radio Extravaganza - "Redefining Freedom" - Show #364, from May 10, 2005, live on KOOP Austin ["We are a great society because we are free society; on the other hand, it is very important for there to be limits." - George W. Bush] Set: Aram Khachaturian - "Gayanne Ballet Suite (Adagio)" - 2001: A Space Odyssey s.t. [Armenian composer. Backwards, layered with forwards copy] Aram Khachaturian - "Gayanne Ballet Suite (Adagio)" - 2001: A Space Odyssey s.t. [Armenian composer. Forwards, layered with backwards copy] Ken Gary Dickerson - "Excerpt: "Radio extravaganza"" - On air in this timeslot one week ago 5/3/2005 Ken Ken, Mendy - "Apartment field recording" - Recorded 12/7/2004 [4 layered copies] The Dead Texan - "When I See Scissors I Can't Help But Think of You" - The Dead Texan [Two layered copies. Lifted from Farlan Veraitch's New Year's Type mix, January 2005] Sigur Ros/Kjartan Sveinsson - "Sioasti baerinn" - Sioasti baerinn Camper Van Beethoven, David Lowery - "All Her Favorite Fruit (Live)" - Live at the Knitting Factory, NYC, 7/18/2002 [Bootleg. Two copies of spoken concert intro repeated, then full song later] Jill Sharpe, director; CBC, producer; Reverend Billy of the Church of Stop Shopping, voice - "I've Been Arrested at about a Monthly Rate" - Culture Jam: Hijacking Commercial Culture [That's about all my lawyer will allow] Jill Sharpe, director; CBC, producer; Margaret Kunstler, constitutional lawyer, voice - "If Your Goal is to Get Arrested" - Culture Jam: Hijacking Commercial Culture [Which is often a goal - maybe sometimes it's better to have someone stop you for what you're doing, to have people pay attention.] Tape-Beatles - "Pens, pencils, stationery" - Music with Sound Jill Sharpe, director; CBC, producer; Margaret Kunstler, constitutional lawyer, voice - "What is the Motivation for the State to Suppress What's Being Done?" - Culture Jam: Hijacking Commercial Culture John Lennon - "Working Class Hero" - Plastic Ono Band [Censored for FCC] George W. Bush - "Interview January 2005: The government should, not censor, but limit." - Interviewed by Brian Lamb on C-Span, late January 2005 [We are a great society because we are free society; on the other hand, it is very important for there to be limits, limits to what parents have to explain to their children. Protect the capacity of people to speak freely in our society, unless things go too far. The classic definition by the Supreme Court on pornography: You know it when you see it. In this job, there's some simple pleasures of life that really help you cope: One is Barney the dog. This year I'm reading the bible every day.] The Stone Roses - "Elephant Stone (single)" - Elephant Stone single [Two copies of intro, gradually building, eventually releasing to more of the song] The Cars - "It's All I Can Do" - Anthology - Just What I Needed [A single loop. Tribute to skipping record from Ken & Joe's Radio Extravaganza, 1994] Ken - "Happens right now" The Cars - "It's All I Can Do" - Anthology - Just What I Needed E-mail - "Ken's email subject title: Magical Asparagus" [Inspired by and created for Joel, 11/30/2004] The Album Leaf & Sigur Ros - "Streamside" - In a Safe Place The Cars - "Just What I Needed" - Anthology - Just What I Needed [Four loops] Jill Sharpe, director; CBC, producer; Margaret Kunstler, constitutional lawyer, voice - "One year you'll be arrested and the next year you won't" - Culture Jam: Hijacking Commercial Culture [Because you can do the same thing one year as you did the next year, and one year you'll be arrested and the next year you won't. So, do you not have the same right each year? Your right doesn't change. What changes is the intent and what the society, what the state wants to do, whether the state wants to suppress it or not. You have any right you assert. You have as much rights as you want to assert, and the only limits to your rights is what the state says, 'no, you don't have that right - we won't let you have it today.'] Wayne Dyer - "What You Want Wants You, CD 4, track 1" - Secrets to Manifesting Your Destiny [...what it is that you do desire...there is something inside you...] Philip Glass - "Abandoned Factory" - Undertow The Cars - "You Are the Girl" - Anthology - Just What I Needed [One loop (plus lead-in to loop), used throughout last 17 minutes of show] Jima - "X-Mas Bush" - Dubya Cut & Paste Project [George W. Bush reads 'Twas the Night Before Christmas] Jill Sharpe, director; CBC, producer; Reverend Billy of the Church of Stop Shopping, voice - "NYU Will Charge Me in the Evening" - Culture Jam: Hijacking Commercial Culture [and then I have to stay in jail overnight, and then in the morning, there's no charges.] Ken - "11 years in the making" Phone caller - "Daily Juice caller" [I would put life in the juice. I would put a telephone in the juice. I'll put the juice in my ear. The juice is in the telephone. Evaporated into thin air. As thin as a bicycle spoke. It was spoken last week. Last week.] Ken The Cars - "You Are the Girl" - Anthology - Just What I Needed Ken End of set Ken's Last Ever Radio Extravaganza - "None of This is What I Intended" [Sometimes, out of nowhere, it's like this moment of clarity.] Jim Connelley - "Dragonriders of Pern videogame music (SID rip)" - Dragonriders of Pern (1983) for the Commodore 64, published by Epyx [Book by Anne McCaffrey. Software development by The Connelley Group.] Ken My Fun (Justin Hardison) - "Portabello Road" - One Minute Vacations [Two copies. Field recording made in Portabello market in London, Feb. 2004. Found here.] Live phone caller - "You're blowing my mind. It's melting out of my left ear" Ken - "I've said this before" Charles Olins - "Vivisection" - 12 Monkeys Soundtrack Michael Crichton, director & writer; Alan Oppenheimer, others, actors - "Scene: Infectious disease of machinery" - Westworld movie [We aren't dealing with ordinary machines here; these are highly complicated pieces of equipment -- almost as complicated as living organisms. In some cases, they've been designed by other computers. We don't know exactly how they work.] John Carpenter - "Gold to Wood" - John Carpenter's The Fog Complete Soundtrack [Two copies. Incl. beach sounds] Jim Rohn - "Filling Your Reservoir of Knowledge" - The Art of Exceptional Living Jim Rohn - "Designing the Next Ten Years" - The Art of Exceptional Living Gyorgy Ligeti - "Jupiter and Beyond: Requiem for Soprano, Mezzo Soprano, Two Mixed Choirs & Orchestra" - 2001: A Space Odyssey Soundtrack [Performed by Bavarian Radio Symphony Orchestra] Jim Rohn - "The Art of Setting Goals" - The Art of Exceptional Living Jim Rohn - "Developing a Powerful Personal Philosophy" - The Art of Exceptional Living Jim Rohn - "The Miracle of Personal Development" - The Art of Exceptional Living Jim Rohn - "The Five Abilities for True Success" - The Art of Exceptional Living Jim Rohn - "The Principle of Association" - The Art of Exceptional Living Jim Rohn - "The Cultivation of Lifestyle" - The Art of Exceptional Living Jim Rohn - "The Day that Turns Your Life Around" - The Art of Exceptional Living Live phone caller - "You have to play a role. You have to be something you're not" [11-minute call, interspersed with Jim Rohn, Philip Glass, Ligeti, K.L.E.R.E. Light (Polyphonic Spree), Wayne Dyer. I don't like being subjugated and dominated. There's too much oppression required. There's this feeling like there's this wall between you and the world, and your whole reality is on one side of the wall, and the whole world is on the other. It's an oppressive wall, between everything else. You have to serve someone else. You have to play a role. You can't be all of yourself. There's too much oppression required. Exposure to radiation. Mental strain, abuse from the public, someone controls what I eat. The decay of the world. Doesn't matter how nice you are. Physical strain, obesity. There's not enough relaxing time at work. And then they can just fire you at any time. A waste of my life, sometimes. Sometimes I'm at work, and I realize I've just wasted six hours making money for other people. There's no real communication. Nobody understands where you are.] Live phone caller - "You have to play a role, part 2" [It's really hard to have true connections when you spend so much time in an environment where you're not supposed to be all of yourself. What about what I want to do? What about my life? Sometimes, out of nowhere, it's like this moment of clarity, and what comes out is undiluted me, unmodified. And I feel lighter, so light, lightweight. So it's clear water, flowing through me, not being repressed, not being restrained. It feels really good when it happens. I want to do something else, I want to be part of a pack, or a pack of wolves, or a tribe. They eat together, find food, and take care of each other. And I want to find that freedom, that clarity, in every moment. Cracks, caves, holes, wide open places.] Philip Glass - "Target Destruction" - The Fog of War Philip Glass - "Low Evil" - The Fog of War Philip Glass - "Blind Moles" - The Fog of War Ken's Last Ever Radio Extravaganza - "Light (a polyphonic spree)" - Show #281, from Dec. 9, 2003 [Two copies] Wayne Dyer - "Tribe Thinking" - Secrets to Manifesting Your Destiny Wayne Dyer - "What Obstacles Really Are" - Secrets to Manifesting Your Destiny Ken - "Directly onto the air" Live phone caller - "I'm from" Live phone caller - "The steady diet of pixels and reflections" [Is this the steady diet of pixels and reflections, or is this the wind massage? The butterfly cake sale as the buffalo's...] Ken's Last Ever Radio Extravaganza - "Polyphonic Potato Head (A speech irony plop)" - Show #282, from Dec. 16, 2003 [Original artists being remixed in original show include: The Polyphonic Spree, Ken's New York City field recording, WarGames, The Magnetic Fields, Bill Cosby, The Who, The Breakfast Club movie] Wayne Dyer - "Disk 2, track 8" - The Power of Intention: Learning to Co-Create Your World Your Way Ken Live phone caller - "I want to find peace...life isn't a game" [I have my radio on. It's tough to decide what to do sometimes. I don't know. Aww, man. I want to go home, I want to sleep, I want to find peace, I want to find happiness, pleasure, be kind to life, courtious, patient, patience is a virtue, among other things. Life isn't a game. Life is for real, serious business.] Ken Live phone caller - "Go to the window" Live phone caller - "I'm at the window" [and I see the tongs on the flaming coal... I see an 8-year old gesturing, gesticulating wildly for the 18-wheeled truck to sound its horn by dancing it out on the sidewalk at night.] Ken - "None of this is what I intended" [My intention has 72 faces. I cannot always face my intention. My intention is two-faced.] Stephen C. Biggs - "Blue Max video game music (SID rip)" - Blue Max (1983) for the Commodore 64, published by Synapse Software [Took an hour to load from Datasette(tm) cassette tape] Live phone caller - "Video game (pinball?) sound effects" Randy Glover - "Jumpman video game music (SID rip)" - Jumpman (1983) for the Commodore 64, published by Epyx [Game info] Jim Connelley - "Dragonriders of Pern video game sound effects (SID rip)" - Dragonriders of Pern (1983) for the Commodore 64, published by Epyx [Book by Anne McCaffrey. Software development by The Connelley Group] Dennis Caswell - "Impossible Mission video game sound effects (SID rip)" - Impossible Mission (1984) for the Commodore 64, published by Epyx [Incl. Another visitor! Stay a while...stay forever! Destroy him, my robots. Game info] Live phone caller - "Cautiously caressing it" [I relax the marble, the morph of which is the width of the world, finally touching it with my fingertips, cautiously caressing it, brush stroke technique of bravery tenderness.] Live phone caller - "Go to the window" Michael Crichton, director & writer; Alan Oppenheimer, others, actors - "Scene: Leave the resort open - everything's fine!" - Westworld movie [Central mechanism psychosis? I feel we should shut down the resort for a month. Oh, that seems rash. If we can't ensure the safety of the guests, we're going to be in desperate trouble. But we can ensure their safety! Everything's fine!] Tangerine Dream - "Love on a Real Train" - Risky Business Soundtrack [Played backwards, layered with forwards copy] Tangerine Dream - "Love on a Real Train" - Risky Business Soundtrack [Layered with backwards copy] Ken - "For the time being" End of set Arturo en el Barco - "Beth Dorris" - Music for Students [Not from the 2005 episode, although made in 2005.] http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/shows/90082

We welcome Daniel Vitalis onto the pod today and might I just say stoke level is pretty high! Daniel is a forager, registered Maine Guide, writer, public speaker, interviewer, and lifestyle pioneer who is deeply passionate about helping others reconnect with wildness, both inside and outside of themselves. After learning to hunt, fish, and forage as an adult, Daniel created WildFed; a show, podcast, and lifestyle brand that integrates hunting, fishing, foraging, and ecology with nutrition, cooking, community, and outdoor adventure.    "WildFed on its face is about food, but beneath the surface of that, it's about a lot more. It's about how we are in relationship with wild species and wild places." -  Daniel Vitalis   Daniel and Mason discuss: Daniel's WildFed food philosophy. The importance of becoming enmeshed into your ecosystem and utilising your local food shed. The hunting, gathering, collecting and foraging of wild foods. Staying grounded and undogmatic in your approach to living consciously, sustainably and in harmony with the earth. Applying traditional hunter gather philosophy and practice to modern day life. The significance of developing a relationship to the earth and to the species that inhabit it, especially in our modern era of artificial intelligence and disconnect.   Who is Daniel Vitalis? Daniel Vitalis is the host of WildFed. WildFed is a show, podcast, and lifestyle brand that integrates hunting, fishing, foraging, and ecology with nutrition, cooking, community, and outdoor adventure. For ten years Daniel lectured around North America and abroad, offering workshops that helped others lead healthier, more nature-integrated lives. A successful entrepreneur, Daniel founded the nutrition company SurThrival.com in 2008. Most recently, Daniel has hosted the popular podcast ReWild Yourself.  Daniel is a Registered Maine Guide, writer, public speaker, interviewer, and lifestyle pioneer who’s especially interested in helping people reconnect with wildness, both inside and outside of themselves.  After learning to hunt, fish, and forage as an adult, Daniel created WildFed to inspire others to start a wild-food journey of their own. Headquartered in the Lakes Region of Maine, he lives with his beautiful wife Avani and their Plott Hound Ellie.   Resources: Daniel Vitalis Instagram Daniel Vitalis Facebook WildFed Website WildFed Podcast WildFed Interactive Program WildFed on Facebook   Q: How Can I Support The SuperFeast Podcast?   A: Tell all your friends and family and share online! We’d also love it if you could subscribe and review this podcast on iTunes. Or  check us out on Stitcher :)! Plus  we're on Spotify!   Check Out The Transcript Here:   Mason: (00:00) Daniel, thanks so much for coming on the pod, man.   Daniel: (00:04) Yeah, man, I'm really happy to be here. Thanks for sharing my voice with your platform here.   Mason: (00:09) I know that there's going to be a bunch of SuperFeasters that are like super stoked to see... Already I've hinted that you are coming on and they're all just like, "Yes." Then I'm really excited about like a bunch of people who maybe... A little bit early on their onset into the health scene. I'm really excited about introducing them to your work, and then this new project. Are you at home in Maine at the moment?   Daniel: (00:35) Yeah, I am. Yep right at my house. I don't get out too much anymore. I travel a little bit, but as I get older it's like I really want to be based out of my home. I spend a lot of the time, a lot of the last 10 years on the road, but now I've got so much, I'm so integrated into this place with what I'm doing now that it's like, you got to really talk me out.   Mason: (01:00) WildFed, which we'll jump right into. That seems to be like this pinnacle declaration for your public work as well. That that's what you're doing. You're throwing your roots down, and then through that I've realised that on the stealth you've become a guide to me anyway. You've become like a guide in Maine. That's an interesting mindset already that I think is entwined into what's now culminating in WildFed from being someone who's traveling all over the world, all over America, doing the LA conferences. All that stuff to now being, really living and breathing… That was a long-term like little deviation. What was in that process psychologically and emotionally to really throw down your roots?   Daniel:  (01:46) Yeah, well, I mean you look back on 10 years and it makes sense. The journey makes sense. But if I tell you about point A and then point B, they don't seem to almost like line up. But my journey has been that I started off speaking in those conferences. I have all these raw food vegan folks because I came out of that scene. They would let me speak at their conferences. I was not a vegan and I was not a raw foodist. I had been in the past, but I wasn't by the time I started my public journey. Those are early days of YouTube before podcasting. That was before social media man, it's so strange to think about that. Because it's so recently really. Now we're really talking like 12 years ago probably. I'd get up on these stages and my message would just be like starting to contradict the whole purpose of the event.   Daniel: (02:36) It'd be this thing to push veganism, to push raw foodism. I would have stuff that touched in with that, but I was into this idea of, well, what are like natural humans? What do they do on the landscape? What do they do without superfoods? What do they do without the health food stores and internet suppliers and stuff? What's natural for people? I always wanted to talk about that and explore that idea. I would get up and I'd give my talk. Because I was popular with audiences, I kept being invited back. My message grew further and further away from that idea. I started there, but I kept on the journey following the path. Even though a lot of people are like, "I don't like this direction, Daniel, you're starting to get away from our ideals."   Mason: (03:21) Well, what was interesting, and I really I'm aware. We don't want to go too far into this thing to the history. We're here to talk about WildFed. That's what I want to talk to you about. I was someone in that audience, really loving the fact that you were up there talking about like booze. There was this subconscious awareness in one pocket that we appreciate that we're going through a change, and we liked originally what the health scene was about. We were opposing what was deteriorating us. Then there was that split of people falling in love with that push back against society into whatever.   Mason: (04:00) It happens with anything. It happens with diet. You more than anyone have led the charge in terms of making that distinction around veganism. But of course it happens with the carnivore diet and TCM diets and everything. Everyone's just a fanatic. But I really liked that anarchist energy, and I think everyone secretly did as well. That's why you kept on getting invited back and it was such a-   Daniel: (04:25) I was amazed they would have me back year after year, but eventually obviously, we parted ways and I started my podcast ReWild Yourself, which I ran for three years as a fluke. I was really writing an online magazine and I wanted multimedia. I started doing interviews and pretty quick those interviews were just so much more… People liked my writing, a small group like 6,000, 7,000 people reading what I'm writing. 100,000 people are listening to the podcast and it's like, "Okay, this is really what people want. Less of me just writing these long articles. More of me interviewing." Before I knew it, there was this podcast. It was early days of podcasts, I hadn't set out to start one. That podcast ReWild Yourself was exploring like what's natural for human beings if they step outside of our industrial system?   Daniel: (05:11) What would we be like if we lived on the landscape, and what do we know about the health outcomes of people who live that naturally? Hunter-gatherer peoples. I just got fascinated by it. I was talking to so many different characters, psychologists and doctors and nutritionists and death experts and birth experts. Just it kept coming clear and clearer to me that being divorced from nature was the root cause of our problem. That led me deeper into foraging, eventually led me to hunting and fishing and this idea of like, how do I apply this stuff? Because I didn't want to end up like the Biohackers, walking around with big orange sunglasses on and a bunch of electrodes tuned to me, and breathing some weird modulated air. Just gets so outrageous that you're like this is the opposite of what I want.   Mason: (05:56) I remember you actually because I followed along what was really interesting is you shared your inner journey in terms of your away from a superfood packet towards maybe more of a subsistence on nature. That's what I've always read in everyone's comments for you. Because people come across your work and they're like, "Oh, cool. He's hunting and gathering. He's from Maine. That's what he does. He's a hunter." In WildFed you say, "I didn't grow up this way. I've had to learn this shit." That's what has been… The people along the way. I read your comments and everyone goes, "I appreciate so much you sharing this inner journey with everyone." I remember a pivotal episode when I think you had like a sleep expert, but like a Biohacking sleep expert on the podcast.   Mason: (06:41) In reflection after that podcast, I could hear you going, “You know what, I don't want to be taping up my curtain. I don't want to be putting tape all over little electrical things all over my house.” You want to leave the window open. That was a pivotal one for me as well because there's all these crossroads as we go along in this journey. It's something I've learned from you, is how to be aware of the upcoming crossroads. That last night when we were watching WildFed, Tahnee, my fiancé, she was saying, and she's been following you before we got together as well at, a long time. She's like, "I really love that, once again you're not presenting yourself as an expert. You're very confident in what you know, you're just very adamant about your ongoing journey once again."   Daniel: (07:32) Go ahead.   Mason: (07:33) I was just going to say that allows you to be aware of crossroads coming. Then you get to go deeper rather than getting over identified with a stage persona.   Daniel: (07:43) That's a huge danger, a pitfall. I talk about it a lot that I see happen where people get so pigeonholed into something they had been into in the past, and then they feel like they can't break free. The longer you go doing that, the harder it is once you… I remember just like I cut my hair at one point. I don't know if you remember back in the day I had long hair. It's just like even that was like, people have you so, they want you to be this one character. I feel bad for like when an actor has an iconic role, it's like you're Jason Bourne in a movie, and then you want to do something radically different. People are like, "No, you're Jason Bourne." It's like, "Oh, come on." We're dynamic people. Another thing though I'll say is that I've had many opportunities along the way to root in and become the expert on the thing that I've been spending time on. I always like to push forward.   Daniel: (08:36) The challenge with that is that I'm always the beginner in a scene. I'm always the new guy everywhere I go, because I'm constantly trying to learn new stuff. It can be you have to get comfortable with that, like the discomfort of that. You have to be able to relax into the discomfort of being the new guy everywhere if you're going to constantly learn new stuff, and you surround yourself [inaudible 00:08:59]. Back to it my podcasts led me to realizing that I would be a prisoner to all of these life hacks, and all of these diet hacks and eventually the encumbrance of it. When I started off, I remember before I started speaking, I was like 19 years old, walking around in Hawaii in nothing but a pair of shorts, barefoot on the beach. That's where I felt the most real and alive. Then before you know it, you're encumbered with just all of these things to be healthy.   Daniel: (09:27) You're like, wait a second, this is the opposite of where… I noticed that anything taken too far becomes the opposite of what it starts off as. That's usually what ends up happening. You can see this in a lot of people's career trajectory, which is why I don't want to get too stuck in any one thing. What happened with ReWild Yourself is I kept learning more about wild food and I kept resonating to that. Because food was really my first passion. I realised like of all this stuff that I've learned about, the one thing that I really I'm most drawn to doing, where I want to take it next is into the wild food arena. Rather than making the mistake I made in the past, which is like, "Can I be 100% this or can I do this all the way?" That's like that vegan thing or that carnivore thing where it's like, "Well no, I'm going to make a commitment for life to only do this one thing."   Daniel: (10:12) It was just like, "Man, can I keep pursuing this idea of wild food in a more moderate..." what I think of as moderate, most people think of as still pretty extreme. Can I hunt fish and forage for calories and can I make it a real thing? Can I bring it into my house? Just to tie it back to your show theme too, that started for me with medicinal herbs. That's how I got first excited about, it was foraging chaga, foraging, reishi. Because as somebody who was into superfoods, the cost of those things is high, and the connection to the thing is less than when you go get it yourself, and that was more exciting.   Daniel: (10:45) That was my first inroad, and then eventually it was like, "Wait, can I do this to fill my refrigerator and my freezer with food?" That led me to where I'm at today, which is making this show WildFed and doing the podcast WildFed and just exploring what a modern hunter-gatherer looks like, who lives in a super developed industrial society.   Mason: (11:06) I really appreciate you saying like someone looking in, they're going to be like, "This is full on man. He's foraging for like everything." But I know you can take it way further. The fact that you're taking your ingredients to a gastropub, and allowing him to have his little injection of his other ingredients. Some of it's like a sustainable agricultural crop or even him using his own chicken stock or something.   Daniel: (11:31) I'm sure it's like mayonnaise and mustard and ketchup. I don't care anymore. My thing of like food exclusivity, because once you start to get the very best food in the world, it starts to, for me, it started to make me relax about other foods a little bit more. You know what I'm saying? It's like when you have venison to eat, if somebody wants to put it on a piece toast, you're like, okay cool man. Because I know I got this thing so I don't care as much as I used to when I was like always fretting about what I had for food.   Daniel: (12:03) So it's created a relaxation in me, which has been really healing. The relaxation comes from several different components of the hunter-gatherer lifestyle that I've been promoting. But yeah, you got to see the show man. I'm curious how it landed for you and what you thought about it. Because here's the thing, I've been incubating this project for two years and I've gotten very little feedback because I've been really secretive about it.   Mason: (12:24) We know you're [inaudible 00:12:25]   Daniel: (12:25) You're one of like 20 people that's seen in it, man.   Mason: (12:28) I feel so special. I do.   Daniel: (12:30) Seriously, you're one of like 20 people that's seen it. I'm really curious how you felt about it.   Mason: (12:36) We loved it. I think especially coming from like Tahnee and myself watching it. This is off the bat. Watching the first episode. Okay, two things off the bat. I love that there's like three or four people involved in the production, and the quality is very high. I noticed that straight away because that's something that again, that is in alignment with the simplicity of this whole lifestyle. I appreciated that, and appreciated the fact that the production was really high as well because let's face it, it matters. Second of all, straight off the bat, I liked that I know you and I know that watching one episode is gonna be very good, and it was put together very well in one episode. It had a story in the beginning and middle and end. It almost has its own catalyst in there for like the emotional ride.   Mason: (13:27) However, I know that there is a plan over the entire series to take you on a journey, and you didn't shy away from that. That's what I would definitely, anyone listening, I would recommend staying in that little journey, in that path. Because off the bat, the first episode is the slowness. That was like where you got to you're like it's something about the how slow, the speed of food. There's something slow about this lifestyle. That was after you were going after, I think it was the fiddleheads and it was just like, "Fuck, we're too early. Fuck, we're too late." Then the turkey hunting. It wasn't just this, "We're going to give them a little insight into how frustrating it can be. We'll quickly go, missed it, the turkey's going away." We were there and you took us on the journey. That was something I think you were maybe consciously doing.   Mason: (14:24) It was like I want to make sure that I don't glorify this lifestyle, or just show peak experiences. I really want everyone to be involved, and then see the underlying principle, which what came out in that first episode anyway was, there's just something about the speed of food. The speedier it is, the more it tastes bland and I think you said like cardboard. That straight away there's principles. You don't deliver rules. That's what I've got out of the three episodes I've seen, there's principles that you keep slippery and non-dogmatic so that it can be integrated into wherever someone is at. That's genuinely where they're at because that's something that doesn't happen. It's like, "Wherever you're at, it's okay, you do this," but, wink, wink, you really do need to get to my point in order to like [crosstalk 00:15:15].   Mason: (15:16) There was a real, it is that softness, and that first principle anyway got me really thinking about how that pace of food even going to farmers markets, I don't feel anything is bad or wrong. It's just made me really think about the fact that it's like a king tide when you're out in the surf. The more and more you get that quick speedy food, the more you get sucked out really quick. It's hard to get back into really feeling the essence in that romance, in the slowness of food and really earning it in one sense. Then just obviously showing the respect in the currency of time that you're giving. That was my initial takeaway, man.   Daniel: (15:57) The pace of food thing is really important to me, because I like that there's tension sometimes. Even with plants as you saw, it's not just like, "Oh, they can't run away, so I'll just walk out and get them." You've got this very, as you saw with the fiddleheads, it's very delicate time window, where loading up the canoe and you and your partner going out and paddling out to the spot, it's not something you're going to do every single day. You've got to like, "Okay, when do I think they're going to be ready?" Then you paddle out and you're like, "Oh, no, we're too early, so now I've got to go back." Then you go back and it's like, "Oh man, are we too late?" Because even they can slip away from you because they got this little window where they're edible. Then as you see with hunting, I think hunting has one of the biggest PR problems.   Daniel: (16:41) People have such a mistaken idea about it because of what they see. You see people who've hunted their whole life, they got 40 years of experience. In hunter-gatherer societies, it's pretty understood that as a hunter you reach peak efficiency in your 40s. Because you've got all of those decades of experience that have built up. When you start and you're 40, I was 35 or so when I started, it's like maybe a little older than that. You don't know anything. It's like trying to get going. You make mistakes. I want to put all that in there. I mean everybody makes mistakes. I want to put that in there so people could see the pitfalls and the challenges. Another thing that happens is people will think, "Well yeah, it's real easy to hunt when you have a gun, oh it's cheating." Actually it's not really that simple. It's pretty complex.   Daniel: (17:31) You got to really understand animals, and in order to understand those animals, you've got to understand those animals' foods. You got to understand their natural life histories, and before you know it, you're becoming so enmeshed into your ecosystem, that this idea of you're an alien on earth who is like can't touch anything because humans just destroy everything they come in contact with. Instead of that you start to like reorient yourself to like, "Oh, I'm part of this ecosystem." It's not just ecological literacy, which a lot of people are lacking, but it's like integration into your landscape. You become this animal on your landscape. Sometimes predatory, sometimes herbivorous. That's one of the things that's neat about being a human is we're like a bear or a pig in that we eat both plants and animals.   Daniel: (18:14) Sometimes I'm out there foraging and I'm clearly not a predator on the landscape. Other times I'm out there as a predatory animal. We have these two different, and I want to, if you've noticed the way the show is put together I like to leapfrog scenes back and forth, where sometimes I'm a predator and sometimes I'm the forager. Sometimes I'm a squirrel and sometimes I'm a hawk. Both are legitimate ways we interact with our landscape. But what I really hope that show does, because obviously, where you live, you're seeing a different suite of plants and animals that are familiar to you. But I'm hoping that what it does is inspires people wherever they are to get involved in their food shed. Because wherever you live there's lots to hunt, gather, collect, forage, whatever it is.   Daniel: (18:58) I want people to go, "I might not have fiddleheads, but what do I have in the spring?" Then lastly, I just want to say to your point about a seasonal arc. One of the things I've noticed from this lifestyle that really excites me is, the very first thing I'm doing in the beginning of the year, a couple months from now, is I'm tapping my maple trees and I'm making maple syrup so I get all my sugar for the year. Then it goes into the, what you saw, the fiddleheads, leaks and turkeys. Then over the course of the season, I have these activities that I'm doing every year, and every year I get a little better and I learn a little bit more and it begins in the snow and then it ends in the snow. In the middle is that summer, like that beautiful peak summer growth that happens here in the temperate regions of the United States.   Daniel: (19:41) I wanted people to see a seasonal arc, because this world we're living in now is becoming so homogenous, especially with the way our tech climate control is, and the way our built environment is. Even though the weather is one way outside, inside's just always the same flat line thing. I wanted people to see these beautiful seasons. Each episode has a show arc to it and its own tensions and wins and losses and all of that. But then there's this arc of the season, and that's one of the most powerful things about this lifestyle for me is that every part of the year, I have something I'm excited about, like really excited about. It's snow on the ground right now. I can't get at the acorns, the hunting is all winding down, but I know ice fishing is coming. I'm so excited about that. When that ends, it's maple syrup time, it's just goes, goes and goes forever.   Mason: (20:34) That's the simplicity you were talking about like a calming effect on your body I think, of anything that's made in the West, it's that calming effect so that we can explore the nuances of our parasympathetic nervous system. Whenever I've had those longer periods in nature, there's a foraging friend that I haven't been out with him for a while. He's just North of Sydney though. He was always telling me he'd go out for weeks at a time, and he just watched his senses coming back online. He'd watch his hearing become acute, and he'd watch his eyes... I didn't even realise my eyesight was getting a little blurry at particular distances when he was out. It always reminded me that consistency of time in nature, that's going to be my ultimate health practice, no matter what.   Mason: (21:20) Then what you're talking about, just being on the terrain. Barefoot at times if appropriate. But even just watching the seasonality outside of a Gregorian calendar, that's something I've always really watched and considered. It's interesting because I had such a mental need, a high pace of learning the expertise of this healthy lifestyle. When you get into what you're talking about, that needs to be a slow journey. Understanding our own seasonal arc. Here, there's a beautiful Instagram here in Byron Bay in this region, koori country. It's a local mob sharing. All right. Now the winds of change, now we're getting the westerlies, now we're in this season. Right now you'll start seeing the pippies. You've got pippies over there, the little mollusc on the beach. You dig your feet in and you can go and like harvest your... It's beautiful. It's one of the easy accesses.   Daniel: (22:16) Collecting.   Mason: (22:18) Collecting, which brings me to my next point. The slowness I feel you'd probably coming from knowing the lifestyle that I come from having that raw food like 'raji baji'. For me there was a little bit of like the rules don't apply. I'm always ahead of the curve. Even if I enter into like this foraging landscape, it takes me a while sometimes to really slow down and up and think, "I will listen to this person who has that 30 years experience." Even though they don't share that baseline spring water, not bringing preservatives into their life. That's something I think I learned from you heavily as well.   Mason: (23:04) That ability to actually slow down and then what I think is important into your message you are actually willing to not just become a guide, but really understand this new terrain of foraging in terms of what are the regulations in order they are. We're new to this world. Remember these regulations are in there for a reason. There are quotas on what you can be harvesting. See for me, that would seem limiting coming from where I was coming from in the beginning.   Daniel: (23:38) Infinite consciousness, man.   Mason: (23:40) Infinite consciousness, yeah. I'm like the goose man. I can just cross borders. I don't need.. Yeah That kind of [inaudible 00:23:47]. That is something that was really like, it's really helping me go like, "Right this is community." It's already in existence and we can be bridges between those communities to an extent. This is the term that I hear in opposition to the foraging lifestyle. I just wanted that to be the context. Well, not everyone can do this. It's not sustainable. That's an interesting comment and it's like a cliché kind of thing and you go and then the cliché answer is like, "Well everyone doesn't have to do it. I'm doing it." But I feel like we can have more interesting conversations and I feel like you're important to that.   Daniel: (24:28) I'd like to explore that a little bit because it comes up so much.   Mason: (24:32) I'd love to hand it over to you, yeah please.   Daniel: (24:33) Well I just think that one's really interesting because it's like not everyone on the planet can play golf. That's not sustainable. But nobody's yelling that at people playing golf. Not everybody can do anything. There's like almost nothing that everyone can do sustainably. Why is it that I must defend against that? Also, why is the burden of planetary sustainability on my shoulders all of a sudden? I have to only do the things that everyone can do. Why? There are people more intelligent than me, and I'm not banging on their door like, "Why are you doing math problems I can't do? Not everyone can do that, so stop it." That doesn't make any sense. There's all this talk these days about privilege. It's like, I don't know, this is just what I'm doing. I'm not trying to exert a privilege. I'm not trying to say that everybody on the planet needs to do this.   Daniel: (25:23) Now I will say this, everybody on the planet used to do this. Everybody on the planet used to do this. You're only here, if you're on earth today, is because of the hunters and foragers of the past whose genetic lineage you are the current incarnation of. You do come from foragers. Now, I think of it like this, and this is an important aspect of why I created WildFed, because WildFed, I hope is a brand that goes on past me. I'm currently like a focal point in it, but that's not the long-term goal for me. I want to create a project that carries the torch of, I'll say foraging in a general sense. Because anthropologists will refer to foraging peoples as a shorthand for hunter-gatherers. I don't just mean plants here. I mean plants, animals, fungi, algae, everything. Some people need to carry the torch in this generation, especially in this generation more now than ever.   Daniel: (26:20) Although every generation for it to last, there needs to be people who carry it forward. We live in the era where the last hunting and gathering peoples are blinking out into extinction, extra patient or being assimilated into the modern lifestyle. They are probably not going to be able to carry that torch, the way that some of us are going to be able to. Secondary to that, is that they live in very remote pockets of the planet like Indonesia and parts of Africa and places in South America. But what about where we all live in the, you were saying the West earlier, in the developed parts of the world, and the industrialized parts of the world. Somebody needs to maintain that relationship. Here in the United States we have, like you there where you are, museums that are there, where there are people whose lives are dedicated to keeping aspects of the past alive.   Daniel: (27:11) Why is there nobody keeping our hunting and gathering tradition alive? Is that not more important to keep alive than memories of past wars or who invented light bulbs, or all of these things that we're keeping all that alive in museums. Or there's like museum martial arts, let's say. There's people who are practicing obscure martial arts from the past that have very little relevance to today, but they keep them alive as a museum art. You know what I'm talking about? So many things like that that we do, yet this fundamental thing that binds all humans together, which is how we got to be here, our fundamental relationship to the natural world, we need people keeping that alive, I think more fundamentally than anything. Partially what I'm doing with WildFed is just trying to pick up that torch and carry it forward. I'm most certainly not the only one.   Daniel: (28:02) I share this responsibility with a lot of my colleagues who are doing the same thing. Many of which are going to be featured in the video show, and many of which are featured on my podcast. People that I meet who are either doing it in a general, I'm doing it in a very generalist sense. Then there's people who are doing it in a much more specialized sense. My thing is a generalized hunting and gathering approach. But I really get excited when I meet somebody who's really specific on one thing, like they hunt bear, or they hunt only mushrooms or whatever it is because I throw a very wide but shallow net as a generalist. I get excited when somebody throws a very narrow but deep net, because I can learn so much from them. I'm trying to also create a platform that brings those people together.   Daniel: (28:47) Because you'll notice, I'm sure you've noticed this in the tonic herbalism thing, you'll get people who are all about foraging medicinal mushrooms. Tonic herbal mushrooms, but they don't hunt. Then the person who hunts would never even think about foraging those mushrooms. Then the person who is a dedicated plant forager might never hunt or fish. Or the fishermen might never... I'm trying to create a platform that will start to be a hub for all of those different people and those voices and those lifestyles to say, “Hey look, we're all sharing this one commonality here, which is wild foods.” It's so much more than nutrition. It's relationship to species. Because every plant, every mushroom, every animal, every algae is a living entity. It's about how we relate to that entity.   Daniel: (29:35) To me, there's a really deep thing going on here. Then how we relate to all of those identities together, those entities together is like how we relate to the ecosystem, and how we find relationship to it. It's just sad that we're at this point where we have to forge relationships with ecosystems as if we are from another planet. That really has bothered me over the years, this sense of alienness that we have to our own earth. Now where if you read headlines, you will see a lot more about people going to Mars than you will see about people making relationships with nature. You'll see stories about the Amazon burning, you'll see stories about the pollution of rivers and the extinction of species. Then you'll see stories about going to Mars. It's like, really, we're not going to stop first and fix this, we're just going to leave?   Daniel: (30:24) Isn't that like somebody in a relationship who has a bad relationship and so they split, and they get in another relationship, and the same thing happens, and they split. They never stop and face it, and face themselves and learn how to have a good relationship. It's like you just run away, run away, run away. Aren't we doing that right now? We trashed the planet and then we run to Mars and then what? Like trash Mars? Do we have a plan for Mars? What are we going to do with the garbage there? We're going to put in the ground like we did here. Where are we going with this? WildFed on its face is about food, but beneath the surface of that, it's about a lot more. It's about how we are in relationship with wild species and wild places.   Mason: (31:06) Yes, mike drop. I want to say that I definitely have got that sense over the years of creating that web weaving between all these specialised fields, and the sharing of knowledge, someone who's foraging for [inaudible 00:31:21] culinary mushrooms starting to open up into say like that medicinal mushroom world and vice versa. Creating this somewhat like beautiful fascial tensegrity between all these beautiful elements of the subsistence, on which I want to talk to you about. You were just talking about that seems like a very classic pattern of you get into a relationship, you screw it up, you bounce it, you get over to the next relationship and that's a pattern. Possibly developed genetically, who knows where it came from, maybe from parents patterns.   Daniel: (31:53) All kinds of things.   Mason: (31:57) Now what I see as you were talking about martial arts say Kendo in a dojo, what's the relevance of that? I see the relevance is that you get to do it in a very contained system that even though it's got this very certain element of making you mentally hone yourself. It's a very contained system where you can get into uncomfortable states in order to refine yourself. It's not this open ended, for lack of a better word, getting uncomfortable. Which is what I see is the difference between like a museum art and actually getting into the wild and foraging, and as you said, becoming a new beginner.   Mason: (32:35) That's uncomfortable in a beautiful, beautiful way. Now getting uncomfortable for me it seems like it's going to be the only access for us to, you know, getting out of our comfort zone to an extent, in order to deal with these patterns that we have as a species that is destroying where we came from. Can you talk about that connection through foraging, through the fishing, through the hunting? How does that actually help us in our inner world basically evolve and deal with this shit that's making us run away from the most important relationships of our lives?   Daniel: (33:14) There's a lot there, so lets unpack it. First I'll say you brought up Kendo like with full respect to practitioners of Kendo, you would be mistaken to think that that was a contemporary art that you were going to step into the octagon and fight an MMA specialist. You'd just get your ass handed to you right away. You'd be beat down. We know it because we created a forum to test people, and everybody brought their arts and pretty quick, everything went away except ground game grappling and standup game basically boxing type stuff. That survived and everything else was obliterated very quickly. Stylistic elements remain, but we see that those things are good. Kendo is good against Kendo in a controlled setting, but it doesn't work in the real world. I want to say that partially, with WildFed, one of the things I'm trying to do is show people real meals of food.   Daniel: (34:09) This isn't, "Oh, did you know dandelion is edible?" It's like, that's just some mental masturbation. Let's see you make a meal out of this stuff. Because that's where what's the saying? Like the rubber meets the road. It's like I wanted to show people the real thing because we're actually, this isn't just trail nibbling stuff where we're showing real meals coming out of these wild foods. That was important to me. Now to the meat of what you were asking about. I think that if you had lived your whole life in a small town and you knew everybody, everybody knew everybody. Maybe it's a little uncomfortable sometimes because everybody knows all your dirt, but also they all know who you are, and you have these interconnections and familial connections. You grew up with people. Everywhere you go you're just waving hi to everybody because everybody knows everybody.   Daniel: (34:59) Then I transplant you to a new place, big city let's say, and you don't know anybody. You would have a low level anxiety taking place because you would be alien to that place, and all of your connections that gave you stability and strength, they're gone. You're now in this fragile position because of the vulnerability of that. Now extrapolate that metaphor out and it's like here you are on planet earth, but you only know other humans. You don't know plants, you don't know fungi, you don't know animals. You don't know how to survive in your environment. You don't know how to source your own food, and you're totally reliant on these systems that provide you with your sustenance. Then you keep learning about, wow, not only are these systems really delicate and prone to failure and wow, that's kinda weird.   Daniel: (35:47) But also like, wait, they're also super toxic in the sense that we're poisoning this food and we're poisoning the landscape in which the food comes from and we're poisoning the watersheds. Wait a second, like this wheat was genetically modified with gamma radiation. Wait, what? This isn't just like healthy natural food? You start realizing, "Wow, I'm dependent on systems that are really fragile, super destructive to the earth and on top of it, are not good for me, and I don't even know how to solve that except through tons of money spent on really expensive products that start to encumber me." It starts to get a little bit, I think what happens is we have this low level anxiety. I think you see that anxiety projected out into the world in the form of apocalypse media, which is like a whole genre of media that most of us are kinda drawn a little bit to.   Daniel: (36:36) Whether it's Mad Max or it's The Walking Dead or it's like prepper stuff or it's whatever it is, or survival stuff. Shows about people living on the frontier of Alaska. Why are there so many dramatic reality shows where people are sent into nature naked and afraid, or they're sent into nature to survive on an island with each other and then they dramatically compete to see who's the survivor? We have so much of this media being pumped out because it speaks to the part of us that feels vulnerable on our own planet, because we don't actually know. It's not really about, "Can Joe survive the next episode?" It's not really about that. It's about can I survive and we're using him as a surrogate. We know that we can't survive and that freaks us out a little bit. The answer is not a whole bunch of cool Bear Grills survival skills where you have like some big bowie knife and you can pee in a snakeskin instead of a canteen.   Daniel: (37:32) It's not about those things. It's about for me, how many species am I familiar with that I know that are food for me? So that when I walk down my street or I drive down the road, I look out the window and go food, food, food, food, food. The difference for me of a maple tree to somebody who doesn't produce maple syrup, it's just night and day. When I look at a maple tree, I know that I can pull a gallon of sugar out of that tree next year. It's like one little step less afraid that I am internally and then it's like, the Oak trees. Like I can pull acorns off of those. That's food for me. Okay it's a little bit more confidence. Squirrels, that's food for me and I love that animal and that animal and I have a relationship. Then you start adding in all this stuff. I know where the clams are, I know where the Periwinkles are. Okay, I know how to catch fish out of that river.   Daniel: (38:26) Before you know it, you start having all these interconnections. It's like being back in that small town where you knew everybody. Earth starts to be this safe place for you because you're anti-fragile. You have this network that makes you robust. You're like, "You know what? It wouldn't matter to me if it did go Mad Max. I know where everything is. I don't care if there's a problem in the banking system. I don't care if there's a problem with the computer systems. I don't care if there's a three week shutdown because of a tsunami that takes out the grid." All those things that people talk about, it's like I'd just be good. I don't mean there'd be no hardship, but I'm saying like all those fears start to like go away and you have this sense of relaxation into your home, which is the earth.   Daniel: (39:12) I think people lack that so much and they fear that nature is so hostile. It's interesting with Australia to me because it's like this place from which all these shows come that we see here in the West about how dangerous the land, the 10 deadliest snakes. We got this whole croc hunter image of Australia of like this dangerous place. But then I'm sure people over there see shows about us about Alaska and it's like, "Oh my God, Grizzly Bears and Polar Bears," and all this stuff. It's like we just have this obsession with how dangerous nature is. It's like, man, it is, if you don't know how to coexist with it, but we know.   Mason: (39:48) That's interesting. Even just here in Byron, it's like even city slickers, I grew up in the city, always coming to the beach. Most times I'd be coming and visit here, which is now in my home. You're going to see a brown snake go across the path on your way to the beach in one way or another. You're going to find these red back spiders, and you're going to have huntsmen in your house. People go, "Holy shit, that's a huntsman" and even a city slicker, you're like, "Yeah, that's fine. They're okay as long as they're on the wall, his name's Pete, he's a friend." That's something I do appreciate about Australia. There's certain pockets through Maine and Connecticut that you can see especially seeing New Zealand, there's this ensconced connection to the natural world. As we know if you leave even the tiniest gap, nature's going to start creeping in, and then it's going to be easy to repopulate your in a world with those connections. That low level anxiety is insane.   Mason: (40:51) I mean just here, the amount of like distinction we need to make around people going like, "Right, I read that reishi is really good for anxiety, so I take reishi." It's like, well, let's take a couple of steps back. We're completely stepping out of this, "I've got a problem give me a pill," mentality, and we need to create this fabric of a personal culture and a family culture. That can, as you said, it's like, it might be this seemingly like rough, wild world, but when you do step into it, it's this inner cushioning, and this inner easing that you have because you've gained a genuine connection.   Mason: (41:30) When you were just talking about like, I assume is survivor just then, and having our experience of being able to survive through Bear Grills or through Tom surviving the next day. That's virtual reality. We're talking about the goggles coming on and us tapping out. It's on. It's a pivotal point not to get sensationalist about it, but most of us as we will be in most times of our lives, life is on and then we're at pivotal points most of the time. We do have really big choices and opportunities to take with our personal culture right now.   Daniel: (42:03) Bigger and bigger choices coming very soon. I'd like to talk about that a second. I want to add one more piece, which is in the raw food culture, which I think a lot of people don't understand how interwoven the raw food culture kinda got what psychedelic drugs too. Because those two things became very interwoven.   Mason: (42:22) Massively.   Daniel: (42:23) Massively. That culture started to get a little... those medicines are so powerful. Abused you can get pretty far out on a limb with them in your thinking. Things will feel extremely real to you that have basis and truth, but maybe aren't actually functional out in the world always. Pieces of truth. Sometimes things are true implicitly but not explicitly. It's true that we're all one internally, implicitly. Explicitly there are people who will kick your door down and hold you at gunpoint, and kill your family sometimes. Hate to say it, but that happens it's happening right now somewhere. Yet we're also all one.   Daniel: (43:08) What's happening in the explicit world and what's happening in the implicit world, they're not always the same. It's like that with the medicines you can get far out in your thinking like that the implicit reality you're experiencing that those medicines open you to is the explicit world, so you can get a little bit confused. I was thinking of just now as we were talking about a book series that some of the friends of mine in that culture were reading. I just know the name of the first book was Anastasia. Do you know these books?   Mason: (43:37) Absolutely. There's Anastasia and the other channeling texts.   Daniel: (43:44) These books people who aren't aware it's like they come out of Russia I believe, or at least they claim to and their stories about this culture in Russia where maybe in Siberia or something, where these people are living in like pure harmony with animals and with nature. All these really interesting stories. Well people I knew were taking those as anthropological reports. They were believing that those were true stories, and that this was anthropology. I would try to stop and say, “Hey listen, there are actual people scientists called anthropologists who study indigenous peoples on their landscape and this stuff is bullshit that you're reading. It's fairy tales. It's not real.” That's not real. People would be aggressively angry with me. They wanted that to be real. They wanted to know that squirrels were bringing Anastasia her nuts.   Daniel: (44:32) They wanted that stuff to be real. On one end, you have people who think nature is this ultra-dangerous place where around every corner something's about to gobble you up and you need to hide in your home. On the other side you have people who are like... I've been studying bear attacks lately because I'm around a lot of bears and I'm just curious like, what happens? Why does it happen? It's interesting that you sometimes have people who are so on the other end that they'll actually provoke an animal attack on themselves because they believe like, "No, me and this bear are friends." It's like, man you can get confused on that side too. It's like the brown snake is not your enemy, but he's also not necessarily your friend. You coexist on the planet. You have different agendas and you try not to meet in a negative way, but you also don't try to unnecessarily hug him either.   Daniel: (45:24) Now, some people get away with it, right for a while. Like who is your homeboy out of Australia, Steve Erwin. Got away with it for a while and then he gets a sting ray stinger through his heart. It's like you also learn a respect for nature too when you're part of the food chain. Because you start to understand every time you kill an animal, you take an animal's life and you open that animal up and you see its insides you are met face to face with mortality. You're met very quickly face to face with what your organs look like, and how you're a made of meat too. That there are things that'll be just as happy to consume you whether they're microbiotic or macrobiotic. You're like, both things are true. Nature is a lot safer than a lot of people think, and nature can be also a lot colder than a lot of people think. There's some Buddhist thing going on here. It's like some middle path   Mason: (46:22) Even like with TCM and that's what we talk a lot about these theories, these Taoists theories and it seems very poetic and romantic and clinical as well. It's a Yin transforms Yang. Yin Yang Wuxing, Yin Yang and the five phases of energy, it doesn't go beyond this that we're fucking talking about right now. It's very basic. We can get out of our head with it and experience it, but how far do we go down that rabbit hole of the magical thinking when it comes to far out.   Mason: (46:58) That definitely was a bit of a... I could have kept on going down that world and stayed functional in my personal egoic inner knowing. That I know the reality of what's going on in this world and despite the fact that I know that it's not appropriate for me to talk about it, these people just are not tapped in. One day they'll wake up and realise what I know internally. You can go really far with it. I didn't go so far down with the psychedelics. I definitely had a few dieter's, and will continue to when I can find I can have some grounding in terms of the appropriateness of-   Daniel: (47:28) Has its place like any medicine has its place.   Mason: (47:31) Absolutely, and the calling. I feel like we all, some of us dive into it and then step back and mature in our approach and appropriateness.   Daniel: (47:42) Or accept the healing of the medicine and don't just go to the medicine all the time. Because sometimes you just hit it and hit it, and it's like, "Hey man, how about you take 20 years and integrate some of that?"   Mason: (47:53) I love that you went two decades with that as well. That's it. Because that's an appropriate amount of time to integrate it. Well and what's giving you the medicine? Is it your chop wood, carry water, meek, mundane, day to day. That's what Buddhism is anyway. You can keep chopping wood, keep carrying water, get a little pop, get enlightened for a second. Let it go. Keep fucking going.   Daniel: (48:14) We have this happening on an experiential level too. I want to tie that in there. You were talking before like about how far out you can get with something. Sometimes we need a litmus test, like a reality test to check. Have I gotten too far out? For me what that became was like, well can I actually feed myself? Let me try to explain. I was at Burning Man, the big party right in Nevada. It's pretty far out. This is over a decade ago, maybe about a decade ago. I'm there and everybody's vibe is like, "Oh, this is the new model of humanity. This is how we can live in harmony together." I'm looking around like, "No, you're on a lunar plateau right now. There's no food here." Like you're going to live this way you brought all your food. Here's a test, are we really a tribe? Okay, let's feed ourselves, can you?   Daniel: (49:14) Or are you super reliant on these external systems that you say you're destroying, but you're actually still completely like nursing off of it? I find like this is really fake. The same thing happens in the medicine circles to a degree too. "No we can just live like this forever." It's like, "Yeah, you're going to get up tomorrow and you're going to go to the supermarket." You say you're stepping away from the system with this stuff, but you're only doing it up here. But who's chopping the wood and who's carrying the water? That's what it's really about. Your enlightenment, if you're not chopping wood and carrying water, your enlightenment isn't integrated. That I think is what I love about hunting and gathering. It's my chopping wood, carrying water. It's how I make sure that it keeps my feet on the ground.   Daniel: (50:00) Because I have one of those brains that wants to take me up into the clouds all the time. That real airy sense of exploring ideas is what I get most excited about. It's that earthy groundedness of, "Okay, I'm going to go out today and get food, and it's going to be challenging, and it's going to take time, and I'm going to have to utilise. I'm going to get into that discomfort you were talking about. I'm going to come face to face with what I don't know." Sometimes it's hard because I don't know what somebody who's done this their whole life would know. I am forced back to the ground.   Daniel: (50:33) That is I think really important for some people because it's like they've cut loose all the ballasts and they've rocketed up to 70,000 feet, and from up there, they're not really contributing very much. They think they are by just being, man like, "I'm contributing my vibe." It's like, "Yeah why don't you come down here and carry some of this wood with us?"   Mason: (50:54) My absolute favorite conversation. For people that don't know what we're talking about, I've been there going like reading the Pleiadian channeling texts getting to this. It gets confusing when you go and hang out with some of the local mob, the indigenous mob, and they will point to the Pleiades and say, where do you come from? That's where we're from. We're from the Pleiades. Then you get these modern interpretations of some of the rock art and you see the Biami, creator Biami standing on what is possibly a rocket ship until you go fuck.   Mason: (51:30) There's some like hieroglyphs here and you go, "Right, these hieroglyphs show DNA, did the Pleiadians come down and seed our DNA here?" Then there's like a little depiction and a modern interpretation of a spaceship coming down and falling into those waters between like Gosford and Sydney. This exists, and you start going into this inner world and going, "This storytelling's got something to it. I'm going to make that my exact reality on the outside world, and that completely skyrockets you."   Daniel: (52:03) The people who are telling you that will also chase like a giant porcupine down and pull it out of the ground and butcher it and share it in the tribe. It's like they will chop wood and carry water. I'm way more open to hearing that stuff from somebody who can demonstrate that they have integrated it. That's one of the things about indigenous peoples around the world, is that they have creation stories, creation myths, or sometimes what they say are their histories too, that are pretty far out to us, but they can demonstrate the viability of their worldview through their ability to live sustainably on the earth.   Daniel: (52:37) But when people who are trying to demonstrate the validity of their worldview but can't do that, it's like, "Well, I'm pretty suspect. Go back, integrate so that you can actually live here in some sustainable way, then I'm more open to your ideas." What like an Aboriginal person from Australia has to say has a lot more merit to me because they've got 60, 70,000 years of proving it. They've proved it probably longer than just about anybody who left Africa. I'm all ears. Show us how. But when somebody comes from Burning Man like that and they're telling me that stuff. I'm like, "Man, you don't even know how to like do your own laundry, your mom's still doing it."   Mason: (53:18) I think we're talking about the difference between someone that's just like, it's that same escapism. I'm going to get these beliefs and I feel superior and I'm going to become a missionary to these-   Daniel: (53:31) That's super dangerous man. That's super dangerous when you start thinking like… That was one of the things that I had to face when I started to hunt and fish. Foraging a little less so that world's a little different. But learning to hunt and fish man, I had to go speak to men who had fathers a lot of the times. Because I grew up without a father so I'm part of that culture, which is so common now in the developed world, especially as we see the breakdown of the family structure. Now, with such an emphasis on personal freedom, we'll see more and more of that probably, unfortunately, right. A lot of hunting and fishing least here in North America is passed on patrilineally. You learn it from your dad or your uncles or something. If you have a break in that like I did, you don't learn it at all. That's not to say that women don't hunt and fish, but they tend to not be the ones who pass that knowledge on at least in the past.   Daniel: (54:29) I would have to go in front of men who I did not understand and they didn't understand me. It's like I'm showing up with my man bun and my five toed shoes, and I want to do everything alternative to how they do it, because I know my ways are better. They're like, "Yeah, well, we actually get this done." Again, it's that same thing I was talking about before. They would have these political ideas, they would have religious ideas, they would have social ideas that were like, I thought I was superior to. And over time, I realised, that's like a really interesting type of armor that I was wearing. I was using health practices and ideas of consciousness as a shield, so as not to have to interface with some of the pricklier parts of reality that I didn't like. The parts of me that wanted the Anastasia reality. These guys were like, "Well get the fuck out of here acting like that."   Daniel: (55:18) Slowly, I had to learn how to humble myself to people I had thought I was superior to. Then realise like, these are the people who can teach me. This has really, really turned me around in a big way. I needed this bad. I was pretty far out there, because getting on stages and talking to thousands of people and having a podcast and all that stuff where you get this little bit of internet celebrity and you think you're sort of a big deal. Then you realise like, well in your small town nobody knows what a podcast is, and they don't care. If you want to hunt with them, this is the conditions and this is the way they're going to let it happen. You're like, have to be meek and humble.   Daniel: (55:55) I mean that was hard, and it was so good. My bullshit meter has I don't know has moved several steps back towards center because it was way out there. My bullshit meter was more like, "Well if you don't know about like green juice and you don't know about coffee enemas, and you don't know about six day meditation retreats in silence, then you don't know anything." It's like, dude, here I was way off the mark.   Mason: (56:23) You're not paranoid about parasites all the time.   Daniel: (56:25) You're not worried about what they're doing [inaudible 00:56:27]. Now it's cool though, as I feel it's that third eye idea. It's like I've got a left eye and a right eye, and they are connected to different hemispheres and those brain hemisphere see the world in kind of opposite ways. One sees the world pretty analytically, and one sees the world pretty artistically. There's a merging in the center where you take those two worldviews and you bring them together. Well, I was spending all my time with just those right-brained people, and I was avoiding all those left brain people like they were wrong. Now I got a lot of those people in my life and they've brought balance to the other side, so that I feel now like I can walk a middle path. If you lose that, you might think you're on a middle path not realising you're all the way to one side or the other because you've lost the contrast.   Daniel: (57:17) Now I've got these people who are some of my very best and closest allies and friends, who are not people I would have necessarily connected with before, but they have opened my world up to things that I didn't know what I was missing in my life. I haven't jettisoned all the other stuff I've just for every far out idea you need some earthy idea to balance it and counter oppose it. That's really important. What we're seeing right now, it's probably a very different political landscape in Australia than it is here in the States right now. But I'm sure from the outside you can see what's happening here, which is like this soft civil war, this cold civil war that's happening here with these oppositional ideas. I get frustrated because we call one left wing and call one right wing. I'm always like, "Man, every plane I see has like both wings."   Daniel: (58:02) That's how it flies. You cut one off, like, "No, we're just going to be the left wing plane." It's like we'll crash and vice versa we're just the right wing. It's like you need both. They're supposed to keep each other in balance. What's happening now is they're saying, no, only this or only this. So similarly, this is a holistic, and what's cool about that is just every mystery teaching ever is always this. Whatever place you look where there's a mystery teaching, it talks about these two oppositional forces that bring each other into, and finding that balance point in the center. I think when you have this hunting gathering component, it gives a platform for exploring consciousness in a way that you never get too far off balance.   Mason: (58:47) Dude, and that's why I love your work so much. I mean, when someone would go like, "Hey, so what does Vitalis do?" It's like, "Well, I'm going to tell you all the things." It's at some point it's experiential. What you're talking about is holding that consistent ground of integration and sharing, for lack of a better word, principles in and around these hardcore ideas that can be applied actually to your life. But that's why, if you are going to the supermarket, if you're going to farmer's markets, if you're doing a little bit of foraging, it doesn't really matter if you listen to the podcast. The WildFed podcast I've dug into a little bit, I'm really enjoying it so far. But the show's relevant wherever you're at, and you'll really get that. It's like, yes, it is absolutely about the hunting and foraging and the fishing.   Mason: (59:34) But no matter where you're at, it's not just this bullshit idea of like, "Yeah but it can work for anybody. "It is because underlying are principles that you can… Everything you've just talked about nailed it. For someone like myself that is fanatical and does shoot off into the heavens quite often as well, that's been a nice stable ground. It helps, kind of, me feel comfortable in the direction that I'm at. I always have people coming towards me who have cracked out in one particular identity and they're trying to integrate. It's interesting trying to explain what that is. I really, really appreciate that. I'm sure it gets sung a lot, but being there and sharing authentically to help us continue to integrate and not go into the excesses that can cause pathology when we are having these beautiful intention to become healthy, that's really appreciated.   Daniel: (01:00:31) We are in that time where people, like, pathology around every corner right now. We have to be really careful. There's never been a more confusing time in history. I feel like the fundamental thing that's going to be, I mentioned it earlier, I feel like big choices are coming. Because pretty soon the distinction between reality and augmented reality and virtual reality are going to get so gray, it's going to be so difficult to sort out, not for us, man, we grew up in reality. But the next generation of kids are going to grow up in augmented reality and the next generation of kids are going to grow up in a virtual world.   Daniel: (01:01:08

My notes based on assigned reading for Med Surg on Hiatial Hernia Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

Notes from med surg reading regarding gastritis Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

Notes from med surg reading regarding diverticulitis and diverticulosis. Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

Sometimes I'm flying, sometimes I'm not. I can be shy, friendly, neither, both, good, bad, what is going on with me? The same that is going on with everyone. In this weeks talk, we look at all the different people we are and how to manage it.

Continuation of Pediatric electrolyte imbalances and the GI conditions that cause these imbalances Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

Electrolyte imbalances, edema, shock notes from our pediatric reading. Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

Some self research on the adrenal gland and stuff. Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

These are my notes from reading assigned in our Med-Surg Class. Hope this is useful Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

My notes on Bone caner from my reading Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

My notes for osteomyelitis for Med-Surg. Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

My notes on osteoporosis for our med-surg class. I will have a separate episode on osteomyelitis, bone cancer and musculoskeletal issues Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

These are my notes taken from our Pediatric reading from last week. Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

My notes on Bacterial Meningitis based on our reading only. Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

My notes about Concussion, Contusion and Skull Fracture. Based on my reading for pediatrics last week. Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

My notes on the unconscious child, ICP and the interventions. This is part of a series of notes taken for my pediatric class. Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

In this EpisodeWhat a Castor oil pack is?What are the benefits of a castor oil pack?What I need to purchase in order to do a castor oil pack?Where is the best place to order my supplies?What is the difference in the materials used in a castor oil pack ?How do I decide what castor oil pack material is the best option for me?What kind of castor oil you need?What is infused castor oil and its benefits?How to create my own infused Castor oil?How to apply a castor oil pack?I've been eating with my husband so you know what that means. I've been bad. It's time to get my health back under control. I've been doing Wellness Journey's for the last 24 years. Sometimes I'm raw, sometimes in vegan, sometimes I'm doing what I call 50/50 which is 2-4 oz of meat, sometimes I'm 6 oz meat 1 day a week and sometimes im just eating the typical American diet with my husband.In this episode let's talk about all things castor oil.Castor oil is a game changer if you haven't been using them after this episode you'll be running out to get the supplies.

In this EpisodeWhat a Castor oil pack is?What are the benefits of a castor oil pack?What I need to purchase in order to do a castor oil pack?Where is the best place to order my supplies?What is the difference in the materials used in a castor oil pack ?How do I decide what castor oil pack material is the best option for me?What kind of castor oil you need?What is infused castor oil and its benefits?How to create my own infused Castor oil?How to apply a castor oil pack?I've been eating with my husband so you know what that means. I've been bad. It's time to get my health back under control. I've been doing Wellness Journey's for the last 24 years. Sometimes I'm raw, sometimes in vegan, sometimes I'm doing what I call 50/50 which is 2-4 oz of meat, sometimes I'm 6 oz meat 1 day a week and sometimes im just eating the typical American diet with my husband.In this episode let's talk about all things castor oil.Castor oil is a game changer if you haven't been using them after this episode you'll be running out to get the supplies.

my notes on: Hyperthyroidism and Hypothyroidism Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

My notes from this week's reading: Diabetes Insipidus and SIADH [Syndrome of Inappropriate Antidiuretic Hormone ] Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

My notes on: Cushing's Disease and Addison's Disease Pheochromocytoma and Hyperaldosteronism Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

My book notes on hyperparathyroidism and hypoparathyroidism. Let's remember, these bad boys are my notes, they aren't perfect. Sometimes I'm not perfect and I cannot read. Sometimes I can't even speak. Either way I hope this helps you in your studies!

What are the Cardinals going to do this off-season?  What should they do?  What's likely to happen?  Why do some fans have an "auto no" response to certain possibilities?  Why is the sky blue?  What the hell are you looking at?  I was talking to myself tonight while watching the World Series, so I decided to take myself into the studio and just continue the conversation....with myself.  I'm my own best friend.  Sometimes.  Sometimes I'm an ass.  Sometimes I'm not.    This is N The Zone!  This is the Network!

No one is safe from this man's tongue - Steve Allen takes to the airwaves on LBC every weekday morning from 4am until 7am and on weekends from 5am until 7am. Hear all of Steve's show with the news, travel and breaks taken out.

Hey there friends! It's awesome to have you back for another episode of Alive & Unbothered and welcome if this is your first time here. In this episode, I am sharing a tool and a practice I use to activate awesomely good energy on demand. These are helpful especially for those times when you can feel your depression symptoms creeping up on you. For me, these symptoms look like apathy, fatigue, irritability, detachment, just to name a few. Sometimes I'm able to stop the symptoms from manifesting if I can pinpoint the triggering event and deal with the story attached. But sometimes, I'm hitting a low point without any particular warning or clarity on why it is happening and I'll stay in that dark place for a while. With this tool and practice, I'm able to spend less time being down. So what is this thing I do? I time travel.I mentally travel back in time to when I felt my best self using a vision board which I call for this exercise an energy mood board. And on this energy board, there are pictures of me experiencing good energy and I reflect on the event or situation. I also add photos that are symbolic to me in representing good energy. Such as photos of my kids laughing, photos of quiet destinations where I've gone to get clarity and peace. Like the park I like to walk laps in. I always feel good after a peace and clarity walk.With my energy board, I take a few moments to review and visualize those past moments of experiencing good energy and from that space create the intention of being the source of good energy to experience in this new moment. After a while, I began creating the being of the source of good energy within me on demand from nothing ...not needing the energy board.Getting to the place where I can activate good energy on demand from nothing, took actively utilizing my energy board. I made sure my board was accessible to me by displaying it where I am the most. I even took a photo of the board and saved it to my phone so I can time travel from anywhere. This exercise isn’t exactly my idea in that it’s adapted from the teachings on the laws of attraction. I won’t get into it here but I encourage you to look into how it works and how it can work in your life. And what I’ve done with the law of attraction is to use it to bring more moments of emotional balance and stability and with the aid of the energy board, can bring about these moments quickly.I invite you to create your own energy board using images that represent an actual time in your life where you experienced good energy. The board will help you time travel to vividly recall the experience and relive it. And it will do you a great service if you kept your energy board accessible to refer to it quickly. If you have difficulty creating a full-on energy board, start with just one photo or if you don’t have one get something to write with and draw it out. You don’t need to be an artist or even know how to draw, as long as YOU know what it is in how it represents your moment of having good energy is what matters here. And if you feel up to it, I’d love to see your energy board, photo, or art in the Alive & Unbothered group on Facebook. Or if you have questions about this process, head over to the group and let me know. Thank you for being here with me on this journey to becoming Alive & Unbothered.

Conflict in relationship is often viewed as a bad thing. It’s uncomfortable. It’s tense. It makes us feel bad, and often makes our partners feel bad too. But what if you’re missing out on an opportunity? Like two tectonic plates rubbing against each other, two people butting heads in relationship might be just the moment where something new forms within that relationship. And within you. That’s the view of this week’s guest, Viola Neufeld. She’s a coach, educator, therapist and facilitator, and she works to help those stuck in conflict to work through their difficult conversations to a place of profound inner transformation. Viola is also the author of “Grateful For The Fight: Using inner conflict to transform yourself and your relationships.” Her motto? “Don’t waste your conflict.” And today you’ll get a taste of how you can turn your conflicts into building and rebuilding moments within relationship.  Sponsors: Beautiful jewelry, exquisite craftsmanship, sustainable sources, and affordable prices. Get $75 OFF your purchase at hellonoemie.com when you use the coupon code "ALIVE". With free overnight shipping and free returns, you can see something online today, and try it on tomorrow risk free. Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you’re stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who’s right for you. Our final sponsor today is Audible. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks on the planet and now, with Audible Originals, the selection has gotten even better with custom content made for members. As a special offer, Audible wants to give you a free 30-day trial - which includes 1 free audiobook and 2 free Audible originals. Go to Audible.com/relationship or text RELATIONSHIP to 500500 to get started. Resources: Visit Vi Neufeld’s website to get her “enhancing relationship vitality” inventory. Read Vi’s book, Grateful for the Fight. FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE) Visit www.neilsattin.com/conflict to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Jeff Brown. Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. We've talked a lot on the show about how to communicate. And we've dipped our toes into the water of how to have conflict in a productive way with your partner. But deep down I don't know about you, but I've always harbored this sense that conflict is best avoided or dealt with as quickly as possible. And yet despite that deep down held belief something in me knew that it wasn't quite right. It wasn't quite serving me. And I've had various attempts to put my finger on the reason why. And then good fortune brought today's guest my way. Her name is Viola Neufeld and she is the author of "Grateful for the Fight: Using Inner Conflict to Transform Yourself and Your Relationships." Her book is truly eye opening, in terms of helping you see how the conflicts that you have in your outer world, the conflicts with your partner, with your family, with your co-workers, or your boss, how all of those conflicts help point to the ways that you can grow within you, and transform your relationships. So it's a very powerful generative way of looking at conflict that almost makes you welcome the chance to have conflict with someone else because you're gonna be holding it in a completely different way. If you are interested in downloading a transcript for today's episode you can visit NeilSattin.com/conflict, because that's what we're gonna be talking about today. Or as always you can text the word "passion" to the number 3-3-4-4-4 and follow the instructions Vi Neufeld. Thank you so much for being here with me today on Relationship Alive.  Viola Neufeld: I'm so happy to be here and I really love the name of our podcast Relationship Alive, because that's what this whole thing is about. It's about, what do you need to do to keep relationships alive over a very lengthy period of time and I know, you know, you were talking about how our natural tendency is to want to avoid conflict and you know that's just makes all the sense in the world because think about each time you enter conflict. It's like you're on this teeter totter and you don't know which way it's going to go. Is it just going to keep getting worse? Or is there a chance that this time you're going to turn around and do it differently and do it better? But we most of us have such a track record already with things going badly, that we're frightened of starting it again, because we know what the chances are we're realistic about the opponent that we have and our opponent gives us a real run for our money because they're able to find those places within where we question yourself. You know I mean it's funny. We often say to our partner you know, "you're pushing my buttons," as though they shouldn't. But interestingly enough it's when they push our buttons that they take us right to that part of ourselves where we find that really restless part. And of course it makes us feel terrible. We don't want to stay there, because we're uncomfortable there already. And yet if we continue to avoid it then it just remains there in a chronic state for many, many years. And we keep having fights over and over. Just on a little bit of a different stage. But the underlying fight is actually very much the same.  Neil Sattin: Right. You talk about it basically being this cycle where each of you is poking at the others sore spots and that there's some way that we magically arrive at this dynamic in, in partnership around those perpetual fights where what they point to it hits us in our in our weakest most vulnerable places and then we in the way that we respond to them you call that "your M.O.," it does the exact same thing for them. And so it creates this vicious cycle that just gets worse and worse or never gets any better.  Viola Neufeld: Yeah, I don't know I was thinking about this yesterday I was thinking about the whole concept of chemistry and you know how we always talk about we, what is love and we have to have this, uh, thing that happens between us. They activate something inside us. And make us come alive. But then what I was really thinking about is like what is the chemistry. The very thing that draws you together. That gravitational pull often has something that also creates conflict between us.  I mean we love somebody because they activate that part of us that somebody else doesn't. And it gets us really, really excited but it also makes us just wild because we don't know what to do and we end up trying to sort through, while we're in the middle of it, this is where it gets really confusing what's your stuff and what's my stuff. But, Neil let me go back to that cycle that you were referring to because how I even came up with that and how I even started looking at things in relation to the book and writing things up was, at one point I had like about twenty 23....nah, it was even more than that. At least 30 different files that I had across my dining room table and I thought what are the similarities here? When do people get into such entanglements with each other that they just can't get out and are there some similarities? What are those similarities where people get stuck and stay stuck for years.  And then that's when I started when I came up with that cycle, and you realized that somebody in terms of what they say or what they do, maybe, they're critical maybe they're passive maybe they're withdrawn, but whatever it is they do, make you go back to the place where you question yourself. "Maybe I'm not enough. Or maybe I'm too controlling. Or maybe I'm too impatient or..." Whatever it is that either they're withdrawing or their attack makes you question yourself and and doubt yourself at very significant levels in terms of who you are as a person. Then when you come out, so you come back out fighting, and whatever it is you do makes the other person now question themselves. And face the part of themselves that they don't want. That unwanted self. And it's looking at how we feed that cycle and keep that cycle going, that I was really intrigued by and wondering how do people get out of that cycle. Because I think that so many of us live with more pain in life than we need to. Like if we could figure this out sooner and face the part of ourselves that causes such discomfort and we'll know, we'll recognize that part because it's always the part that makes us come out fighting. We have to defend ourselves. We have to protect ourselves because we think the other person said something that makes us look like an idiot or that we're unreliable or that we're not a contributor. All the things we don't want to be and that's when we come out fighting. And yet the interesting thing is that really the strange way out of that, is to face the very thing that you don't want to be like for me for a long time. One of the things I had to face was, 'I'm not enough,' and I keep thinking "No, I am enough." Well this is where the power of positive thinking doesn't always work because it can't wipe out truth. And so it's like you almost have to do a back and forth and go, "Where I'm not... Where am I enough and where am I not enough?" Because there are places where I'm not enough and what am I going to do about that. So then the hope lies in kind of finding a bit of a manageable change program. And if I can do more today than I did yesterday or feel better today about myself than I did yesterday, because of what I'm doing differently then that's already growth. I mean it's one of the things I absolutely love about conflict. I never liked to be in the midst of conflict. There's nothing easy about it. But if you can surrender to it and learn what you can then we learn so much more about ourselves. I think that we are all less self-aware than we really think we are. This is a wonderful way of getting to know who you are and who the other person is.  Neil Sattin: Yeah. There's there's so much here that I want to unpack. And I love how rich your book is with like really taking apart each of the dynamics that, that are at work there in conflict and as, um, as I was wrestling with this question of, "OK what is the truth about those sore spots in me?" You know when I look at... You know something I mentioned frequently on the podcast is how I'm maybe not the cleanest person. So what is the truth around when when someone approaches me, or when Chloe my partner approaches me and says like, you know, "This place is a disaster like you have to do something." And for me like the natural tendency being you know all these things that I saw spelled out in your book like I would get defensive or I'd have I just have excuses maybe I wasn't getting defensive, but I'd be like you know I was really busy recording that episode of the podcast and I didn't get that chance to do the dishes like I said I was going to. And then there's that uncomfortable place of recognizing, "OK there is some truth here. And one of the questions that comes up for me is how you arrive at the balance of when it when it's actually healthy for you to look at, let's say a criticism from your partner and to not like focus on the fact that they criticized you and they could have said it better, but just to say like alright, I'm going to take a step back and see what's true here. What's the balance between doing that, in a way that's healthy, and then it becoming its own negative cycle and your relationship where you just get victimized by a partner who isn't doing their part to shift? Viola Neufeld: Yeah. That's a really good question because you know I think it's almost like the sequence that's the most important. The natural tendency is to go back and start fighting immediately or protecting and defending self. Except that if you continue to do that it gets you nowhere.  Okay. So the first step is always going in and looking at what did they say about me? So that's true. Maybe I, you know I am messy or I am a control freak, or I'm a clean freak, or whatever it is. Whatever they have said about you, the first step, I mean this is a very courageous step right because you have to go inside and you go. How much of that is true. And once you start to look at that then you're no longer fighting or like pushing it away because you've actually brought it close. And I don't ever want to minimize the difficulty of this because the same way as a child balances down on heat and pulls their hand away we do the same thing with emotional responses. When something is uncomfortable we want to balance away but this is what is required is to actually stay there longer and go, "Is this true about me? Yeah you know what sometimes I am this way," or "Sometimes I'm not this way." So you're going back, you have to do a bit of an assessment, all along recognizing that you don't see everything about yourself, the other person is actually telling you something about how you are impacting them. And we're not always aware of our full impact on the other. But then after you've gone in I think that it's important to go up and you from a bird's eye view, you look down, and you go wait a minute what do I know about the way that the two of us interact? What do I know about when my partner is feeling uncomfortable, what do they do? And if they get to a place where they're blaming and I'm now feeling like a victim and this is I recognize this. This is, I easily fall into a victim. My partner usually blames that I go, Wait a minute what I've already looked at what's going on inside of me and what I need to do differently but now I'm also from the bird's eye view from way up top I'm looking down and going: I see this pattern between us and I know that my partner is doing that out of their own discomfort then because you're not being just reactive you are much more equipped to stand up and say, you know what you're going into a blamer, and you're doing the very same thing again, you're wanting to make it look like it's my fault and you're so, so it's a matter then of holding onto yourself and you are not as reactive. So you have a clearer mind and you can see what the pattern is between the two of you and begin to shift your pattern.  Neil Sattin: Right. I loved in one of the chapters where you were talking about ways to shift the interactions like once you've done the inner work and I want to spend of course a little bit more time on that process of of the inner diagnosis. But you were talking about like once you've done that work and then you face into a conflict with your partner or anyone, really, you might ask a question like, Are you... it seems like you're trying to blame me right now are you, is that true? Are you trying to blame me right now for what's going on? And how asking the question invites them to take a deeper look at what they're doing and they may say they may say, Yes. You know they may be like, "That's exactly what I'm doing because this is your fault." Or they may say, "Well I'm not trying to blame you. I'm trying to just show you the impact of..." And you get further than you would get if you were just like, you know, stop blaming me and you're always blaming me. And then you're off to the races with your typical relationship pattern or conflict pattern.  Viola Neufeld: Yeah, see, I love that because once you have looked at yourself and you've really seen it, when you go out now, because I think there's three steps you go in, you go up, and then you go out. When you go out you grow up very differently. So, my husband and I, we had this cycle that went on for many, many years and and it would be that I would end up feeling like I was, you know, how did I have to raise another issue? I'm a malcontent. I'm a flake for what I'm saying. And then what I noticed and I would go into a blamer, because I didn't want to be that person but once I got to see that it when I experienced his criticism I, would go to that very same place. It kind of just made me chuckle because I go, "Wait a minute. I'm here at the same place. And yes I realize that sometimes I caused trouble but I also don't want to be the person who sees trouble and doesn't do anything about it." And so then I was equipped to just stand there and go, "No no. We do have an issue with this. But I gotta find a way of doing this and be lovable at the same time." So going inside what it helps you do is, it equips you and you feel more confident to stand on your own. To speak from your truth. And the fight changes because it's not like you're just defending yourself. You're actually talking about what goes on between the two of you and what you'd have to do to change that pattern so that it becomes a healthier pattern.  Neil Sattin: Yeah let's go up even further for a minute and talk about differentiation, and the reason why conflict is so crucial for true intimacy.  Viola Neufeld: Yeah. Differentiation. I mean it sounds like a big concept but, but it's so it's what you have to do in conflict all the time, is that... And conflict takes you to a place where you have to be willing to stand on your own and for a little bit. I mean it's almost like you disconnect with that other person, because you're so connected with who you are, what's important to you, and then you also have to hold the other at the same time. So it's being detached and involved. Standing alone and standing together. Lot of people get that part confusing because they think that you know they'll say, many couples will come in and one person will say, "No, I have to leave this marriage because I can't be myself." Well, if you have to leave a marriage to be yourself. That's not differentiation. It's individuation. That's about you being able to hold on to yourself. Differentiation is much more difficult because how do you end up holding on to yourself, and being a full self when you're connected to the other who is different than you, who thinks differently who wants different things. And that can be a big challenge. But ultimately I think it's only when we bring our full selves to the marriage, and freely being who we are even when the other person doesn't get who we are, that's the best chance that we've got of having real intimacy and vitality. I think way too many people give up intimacy because intimacy is hard. Intimacy means that you have to be able to state what do you want. What's important to you. What you value even when you think that the other person doesn't get it. So one of the ways that I've described it over the years is that I think one of the hazards of a long term relationship is a, is a shrinking pie. And initially you came together and the two of you were you flowed freely and you were all you brought all of which you were what you are. And so when you bring the full pie it just feels really intoxicating because you're free to be yourself the other person is free to be yourself. You don't have the baggage. But then what happens over the years is that let's say, there's something that's really important to you. Maybe it's something that you value. Maybe it's it's what you want sexually or who you are spiritually or you know what you're looking for,  you need emotionally. And let's say the other person isn't there doesn't meet your needs and so, or even they think you're less than for some reason because you're too emotional or not emotional enough or whatever. And so slowly we start pulling back pieces of the pie and we no longer bring them to the relationship. And if we don't do that sure we've got less conflict. But you know what: we have a whole lot less vitality, a whole lot less intimacy. So the challenge is even when you don't we don't think the same. I got to tell you this is who I am. And remember that other person fell in love with you in the first place because you so freely flowed with of everything that you were. But just now you've got some challenges.  Neil Sattin: Yeah so the idea is that through this process you get to know yourself more. You get to grow yourself more. And then you get to bring that back to the conflict in a way that really it's like having the same conflict, but from a completely different place. So it's it's not gonna be the same conflict at least on some level.  Viola Neufeld: Neil, and that's true because you went once you've done all this inside work you go, and as soon as you get back out there with the same person you go, "Wow this is the same stuff." But then you notice then it actually feels so differently when you're in it because you're not being triggered. So the same conflict. But now you're responding differently within it which means that nothing can be exactly the same. You know how they tell you you can never change the other person and there's a part of that that's true but it really isn't the whole truth. You know because how do we change the other person we change the other person by changing ourselves. If I change my pattern my husband could no longer do the same thing and that's the way it is in all relationships. And therein lies a huge amount of hope.  Neil Sattin: Yeah. In fact I just released a communication course that is all focused on the things that one person can do, like, basically all the places where we alone have influence when we're communicating with another person, since that's really the only thing we can change in effect.  Viola Neufeld: Yeah. And also because like I think of, I don't know if you can visualize steps, you know, like, let's say you you enter at one level, but there was an action that came before. There's always an action that comes after. So think about how you change things. Because if you respond differently then the other responds differently to you as well and you get out of the vicious cycle and into a more virtuous cycle. And the power lies in one.  Neil Sattin: Right. Right. I am I'm getting this image in my mind of you know someone kind of going to battle and over and over again, with the same opponent, the same foe and they have, I mean let's just use Achilles right. So that we'll take a myth. So this dude has a weakness in his heel, it's the only place that he can be killed, because that was where you know he was held when he was dipped into the pool of immortality or whatever it was. And it's like, imagine him going into battle again and again and he's like fighting and all doing well. And then what do you know, like the person like, pinches his heel and he's like down on the ground again. And thankfully the person isn't actually trying to kill him. But no matter what, there he is helpless down on the ground and it's like if all he focuses on is like, "How do I keep people away from my heel?" Then the heel is always going to be there as a weakness. And everyone's going to keep going for it. Whereas if he gets to know that spot intimately well and you know, I'm talking about Achilles, but it could easily be "Achillia” - you know some women as well. You know like, then once they realize like oh this is my weakness and they really get to know it intimately. And then when, the other person goes for it, they actually have a way of responding that they never had before. That's part of what changes the whole dynamic. So, I'm wondering if you can talk for a moment about that process of going in and and I love the way in your book you have these great questions that help you kind of peel away your self delusions and denial in a way that's not destructive. You know that's constructive. Maybe you can talk a little bit about that process of you know, asking yourself maybe you've asked yourself what's true about this which is what you offered earlier. And then what's the next step? Like where do you go when you when you realize like well you know what, it's true that I don't prioritize the dishes and that is just true about me or whatever it is.  Viola Neufeld: Yeah. You know to even to go one step further back, because it's understanding. You know, I often think of that part of us that we don't like the unwanted self. I often think of that more and I relate to it as I would to a little child or to me as a little child because we all make sense. And that part of us that still needs healing was wounded somewhere along the line. And what I actually love about conflict is that conflict gives us a method to heal those parts that are the most sensitive. So so when we come to the self to the unwanted self in that way, and we warmly try to understand where the hurts lie, where the woundedness first started to show up, then it's a way of kind of... I don't know... embracing it really it really is... I don't know taking it on your lap and now you're not, you're not harsh with it which means you're also not unrealistic in what you're expecting of it.  So I understand that, "OK. Why is cleanliness not important to me? Or why is uber cleanliness important to me?" For instance. And I come to understand things that have happened in my life that have made me come to that conclusion. And the thing is that many times what worked earlier in life doesn't necessarily work anymore. So taking that cleanliness thing you know, before it was not a problem there are many other things that were more important. However if it becomes a problem, with your spouse, then yeah. Then it's something that you start looking at and you go, "Well, maybe now I would actually feel better if I had things a little more cleaned up or if I contributed more by getting the dishes done or any of those things. So. So, it's a matter of really first warming up to the unwanted self because you understand what role it played or how it came to be. And in facing that there is some healing and there is some freeing going forward.  Neil Sattin: Yeah. And I'm wondering when you look at yourself in that way like, what I'm hearing are these questions that help you get the underlying motivation. So if what you're looking at is a specific behavior that you do or don't do, what the motivations are beneath that to help you get more clarity on what, what's really driving the way that you act. Am I getting you? Viola Neufeld: Yes for sure. Because we always have... And making that connection is sometimes difficult. Because we have these behaviors that we do. But then you have to kind of go underneath and go, "Why is that important?" Now, the why question is always a bit dangerous right because it can take you into rationalization which is not where we're going. It's more of a question of what? What is it that's actually driving that. So...  Neil Sattin: Yeah. And I'm thinking about your chapter on I think you call it "self tripping." Maybe you can describe what that is before I say what I'm gonna say. So what's self tripping?  Viola Neufeld: "Self tripping" is when you keep doing something that you know isn't getting you where you want to go and yet you can't leave. You can't let it go. So, in the book it was Nadia and her negativity. And so she recognizes that even though she doesn't like her negativity, that it also plays an important role in her life. It's where she feels like she makes a valuable contribution. It's part of her sense of identity. She thinks that people who just are always happy are people who just skate through life and don't have enough grit to face reality as it is. And it's so become woven into her sense of who she is that if she if she didn't be negative some of the time or you know bring out the umbrella that she wouldn't even know who she was anymore.  Neil Sattin: Right.  Viola Neufeld: Cuz of the roles. It was a role that she played growing up in her family and it's how others have come to know her.  Neil Sattin: Right. So if it's okay, I'm just gonna go through these questions that you ask.  Viola Neufeld: Sure. Yeah.  Neil Sattin: So just to give you listening a flavor for this kind of inquiry. So, you identified the behavior then you might ask yourself why do you dislike this behavior? Because after all we're talking about the unwanted self, like this is a part of us that we don't necessarily feel good about. But we've come to accept it as just maybe just the way we are. Or just the way we're going to be. We haven't figured out a way out of it. What do you like about this behavior? And why are you attached to it? If you tried to change it what would you lose? Or how would the change destabilise you internally or destabilise your relationship externally? And how is it working for you to repeat this pattern over and over again? Is there anything else that holds it in place. So, you're really able to to look at it like almost a scientist would or at least an observer from another planet, who's really trying to get more familiar with what's, what's going on here? And do you find that that process of creating that insight in itself is what generates change? Or are there other things that you think are required for people? Viola Neufeld: Well for sure what it does, like, it's the second step right? It's of going up and looking at it. So what it does is, you see the patterns, it loosens it inside and then I think going out is actually that you have to end up implementing that and realize how different it feels, and actually be surprised by how good it feels. And it doesn't mean, and like Nadia for instance might never give up all her negativity but she might be thinking differently about how often she's going to use it or whether it's going to be a comfortable blanket. She's going to recognize when she's using it illegitimately and she'll open up options. That's the whole beautiful thing about looking at, or engaging conflict differently is that you recognize that you have a whole lot more options than you believed you had earlier.  Neil Sattin: Yeah. Yeah. It really frees you up in that way. And I'm just thinking about how once you're in that place with a new like trying something new on, you talk about not necessarily going for the big shift. "Well, I'm just gonna be positive all the time." Like, that's not gonna be Nadia's approach, right? Viola Neufeld: No, no, no. I mean that has to be, it has to be, little, little steps. And I think you always measured today compared to yesterday. Are you happier with who you are today than yesterday? Oftentimes when I work with couples and I usually take the last 10 minutes to work on what kind of homework do they want to do and it's about together we figure out the homework, or they figure out the homework on their own, but oftentimes after a session people will be pretty motivated and they'll go, "Oh, I'm going to do this, this, this, and this." And I'm like: "How about we think about one thing you're going to do? So that you can be convinced, so that you know that you are going to actually succeed rather than setting yourself up for failure?" Neil Sattin: Yeah, yeah. And I'm thinking now of that way of reflecting on changes in conflict with another person that you mentioned, where you might even say it's like in Nadia's case like, "Wow,, when's the last I was just positive, like when's the last time I was positive in the middle of a conflict that we were having?" As a way of helping your partner see that you are trying to make shifts in the dynamic. When you when you are trying to make those shifts, what are, what are the common obstacles that you find when someone brings kind of a renewed sense of who they are? They've gone, they've done the deep dive. They've gone up, they've gotten some perspective. They really want to shift this pattern for themselves and for the way that they have conflict and then, let's talk about kind of taking it into the arena with their with their partner? And how do you do that in a way that's most likely to be generative? And how would you know? Because we're talking about stepping into conflict which by its nature is uncomfortable.  Viola Neufeld: Yeah, yeah. You know what I think, for one, being really realistic about change and how it happens. And know that the old is like a magnet and it just sucks you back, so quickly, and so powerfully and I think the important thing is not to get down on ourselves when that happens just to kind of look and kind of chuckle a little bit, and go, "Oh, my goodness, it's happening. The same thing still has some power." But even the fact that you can go up and recognize it, that means you're not functioning totally from your alligator brain, your amygdala, you're actually operating. You've invited your neocortex in and you're recognizing it even if you catch it after the fact and you go, "You know what, I just did the same thing again." But that's more than you were doing previously, because previously you didn't even see it. So kudos to you. And then the next time when it happens you'll probably see it while you're in the middle of it, and go, "OK, just wait a minute. I got to do something differently."  And when sometimes, when people get lost I'll say to them just do something which is 180 degrees from what you normally do and see how different, it feels and see what the impact is. Because it's all about experimenting and then recognizing that the person who got to you before, when you are making changes, whether it's your spouse, whether it's a colleague at work. If you make a change know that the other person is going to continue to do more of what they did before. So you're actually going to up the ante. Be prepared for that. Not because they're wanting you to still do what you did before, but just because that's what they know. And so your commitment is to yourself, more than to the other person to stay the course. Just focus on who do I want to be so that I can sleep comfortably in my own skin. And what is another good thing is that life keeps giving us one opportunity after another. If we miss this one there's another one right around the corner. And again just keep practicing on being the person we want to be.  Neil Sattin: Yeah, yeah. I like that image of your two brains learning how to work together because we have spoken a lot on the show about your limbic brain taking your neocortex off line basically for in favor of fight or flight. And so bringing your attunement, like your attunement within, to a conflict, that allows you to to bring them both online at the same time and to recognize your boundaries to recognize where you truly aren't safe vs. the illusion of not being safe which is often what your amygdala is responding to, right?  Viola Neufeld: Yeah. And that's what I love is because when you invite your brain back in, you can see that some of the things, cause conflict is all about your threats center going wild. And yet, when you bring your neocortex in then you can actually look at those fears and go, "Ok, they were real at one point. Are they still real? You know? I thought I couldn't do this on my own. And back then I couldn't. But can I do it now? Have I developed further? Or, I thought that you know I was not enough? Or, I thought that I spoke way too much. Do I still do that? I thought I was a drama queen. Am I still that or have I shifted? I thought people would reject me. But is that true?" So yeah it's always a question of checking where you are now compared to where you were then. And the many of the fears that were there don't need to be there any longer.  Neil Sattin: Let's talk for a minute too about how we might... Because I agree with you that so often we we start changing and the whole thing shifts. But are there ways that you find with your clients that are particularly effective for inviting your partner to notice, along, apart from what I mentioned earlier, to notice like the dance is shifting here. Or, hey, like this is this is me stating my truth and you can make a choice about that but I'm really clear about what I believe in this moment or who I am in this moment. What are some ways to help invite your partner to change their steps in the dance? And maybe the last part of that question, is how would someone recognize if that wasn't going to happen and whether or not that's truly, you know, you talk a little bit about the times when it's actually healthy to disengage.  Viola Neufeld: Yeah. Because you know I mean here's the sobering thing, is that we only have in our life what we tolerate. And so at a certain point it is that we go: This is who I am or I want to be sexually active, and that's really important to be in an intimate relationship. And if you're not there if that's not what you want, we're in real difficulty and I don't know what to do. Or let's say, "I want to be in relationship with somebody when I know that I have reason to trust them and I can believe them. And you have shown me on numerous occasions that I don't have evidence to trust you. And we are in a situation that I don't know if we can continue to go forward because this is what I need in my life." See, then you go back to differentiation where you really hold your own and you go. This is what I need from a partner. And if you're not that person, then I don't know where we're going to be in the future. So then there are other ones where, let's say you know, you know that the other person continues, regardless of how many times you say what's important to you and what really matters, it actually seems like the other person, if they really if that really doesn't matter to them then you are in a situation where you have to go, "OK. Am I going to continue on with this person or am I not?" Because you can't continue... Or let's say somebody continues to be hurtful and harmful in their actions towards you. And regardless of what you said they don't make the changes. Well then the writing is on the wall as to your future. You have to make decisions for your own safekeeping and for your own health. Going forward.  Neil Sattin: Yeah, and I think one place where that can get tricky is: I think we can be too quick maybe to make that decision, if we're in pain and that's the interesting thing about what we're talking about. Is like just because you're having conflict and uncomfortable that that isn't necessarily a sign that this isn't a healthy environment for you to be in. It may be that there's more healing for you to do or more growing for you to do. And I think that can be tricky to know, like, actually this isn't about me growing or healing something this is just about kind of a core place where I stand.  Viola Neufeld: Yeah, I mean, that's where it can get confusing for people to know whether it's just that it's theirs or if it has to do with the other person. I lost it there when I was going to say you and I'm sorry. Neil Sattin: That's OK. And I'm wondering if you have any hints for how someone can do that diagnosis about like have they gone deep enough in terms of their own inner work? Viola Neufeld: Yeah. So Neil I know what it was I was going to say because, what's the reason for moving on? So if you have not looked at your own stuff and you just think it's the other person then maybe moving out of the relationship is premature. If however you've actually looked at your part of the problem, your contribution, and still you're not getting from your partner what you need, then that's a different thing because you're not just leaving because of hurt and because of self blindness. You actually see it. You're doing the work. But the other person is not in a place where they're wanting to see more of themselves. And then maybe it points to a different future, but it's why are you leaving? Have you really seen what you need to see about yourself? Because then you can make a clear decision.  Neil Sattin: Right. I love what you just said how crucial it is to identify your contribution and to change to address that. That is what we've been talking about all along. It's the ways that we show up and we create the dance that's happening or do our part to create the dance that's happening.  Neil Sattin: Well Vi Neufeld it's been so great to chat with you about conflict and I feel like we should have argued more or something like that. I'm really appreciating your work. And so can you just tell us a little bit more about the different kinds of things that you offer? Obviously your book grateful for the fight is there for people on Amazon, it's a great read and really a useful tool for self discovery and transforming your approach to conflict. And I don't know about you, but if you can imagine like how tense and how much it can shake up your inner world to know that you're heading into conflict and just how different it can be to imagine stepping into a conflict knowing that you've got you, and that you can take care of yourself. This book is a really helpful part of creating that experience. So I appreciate your work in that way. But, what else are you doing with people? Viola Neufeld: Well I was just going to say that I think one of the real benefits of doing this work is that you end up liking yourself more and you have better relationship. That's the end result. So yes, you know if you... Other things I mean there's all kinds of work. It's always having to do with sorting through relationships and extended families and with couples and in organizations. If some of you want to have a little scale that you can work through and it would be a little handout on enhancing relationship vitality, if you want to do that you can contact me and I'll send you a concept or I'll send you a handout if you like to do that. It would be a way of, you know how you always have ideas about who you think you are in relationship and then who your partner is. This is a way of actually going through a number of indicators and you can do a scoring at the end, which will tell you you know it'll shine some light on who's contributing in what areas and see if your yourself perceptions are accurate or not.  Neil Sattin: Well I'm definitely going to to take your quiz. So, make sure that I get my hands on that as well. Yes. If you want to get a copy of the enhancing your relationship vitality inventory, then you can visit Vi Neufeld's web site which is transpectives.com, and I will have a link to that in the show notes, which you can get by visiting NeilSattin.com/conflict or texting the word "passion" to the number 3-3-4-4-4. And following the instructions.  Neil Sattin: Vi Neufeld thank you so much for being here with us today. It's been such a treat to chat with you.  Viola Neufeld: Thanks so much Neil.  

I'll be the first to admit it: Sometimes I'm not in the mood to rejoice. Just recently, though, I read 2 Corinthians 13, which gave me a bit of an epiphany on the subject of being joyful.

Today I want to address a VERY big question that people ask me…     "Is MLM saturated?"   There’s something I've started doing a lot in the evenings…     I just go for a 10 - 20-mile bike ride.    I also like to walk quite a bit so I can just listen to podcasts.    I'm studying    I'm thinking    Sometimes I'm just jamming out to music   … It's become my ME time.    I'm sure it won't always be in the evenings, but it has been for the past little bit… Especially while I've just done my big OfferMind.    So many of you guys came and it was AWESOME! About 650 people had a ticket and about 600 showed up (which is a pretty standard show-up rate for an event).   We did a good chunk in sales, and it's just been so much fun to work with all those new people.    I've really, really enjoyed it.    What's interesting is... Since then, I've needed some DECOMPRESS time.    At the time of recording this episode, I'm speaking at Carnegie Hall.    Martha Stewart is speaking   Michael Gerber is gonna be there   Dan Kennedy is gonna be there so long as his health is okay    ... This is nuts!    ANYWAYS: If you guys wanna change your life, listen to what I'm doing on this show. Go publish for ONE YEAR…  Come back to me in one year and you tell me if your financial life is not drastically different.   There is something magical about publishing.   **That's not the purpose of today's episode.**    THE GIFT OF MLM MARKET SATURATION   I wanna address a question that comes up frequently and you have likely have heard it if you've been in this space for more than six months.    I LOVE MLM.    I love it.    It's so, so, so fun.    One of my favorite things to do in MLM is to look at articles that other people have posted about why they think MLM is NOT okay.    And what you’ll find is... Most people who publish these articles are usually those who've been in it but DID NOT figure out how to have success and they feel jaded.    They feel, "Oh, everything's bad. For shame. For shame."    And they go write these terrible reviews…    That makes some people think, "Well, that just means MLM is bad."    No, no, no!    I've had NEGATIVE reviews. I've had TERRIBLE reviews.   There are always naysayers and it doesn't change just because it IS or IS NOT MLM, network marketing, direct sales, whatever you choose to call it.    There will always be Negative Nancies with Poopy Pants syndrome… That’s just how it is.    I believe it's a GIFT that people think MLM is saturated…    And I’m gonna tell you WHY.    It's NOT because it lowers competition…    THE TYPE OF MARKET I DON’T WANT   A little while ago, I had somebody reach out to me and say, "Steven, I would love to buy Secret MLM Hacks. How much money will you guarantee that I will make?"   And I was like, "What are you talking about?"    I don't know if I've told you this in the past but just stick with me for a moment here…    They said, "How much money do you guarantee I will make with your course?"    And I said, "I don't even know who you are. I'm not gonna guarantee a number. This may not be for you."    She said, "Are you telling me that you don't wanna sell it to me?"    And I was like, "Yeah, I don't think you're a good fit for it."    She's was like, "Are you serious?"    So I said, "Yeah."    I don't care if you have the money.    The way I bring somebody into my product is usually what determines what they do after they've bought the product.    MEANING: If I have to beg somebody into my downline, I usually have to beg them to do something while they're in my downline.    I DON’T want that kind of individual (and I'm not judging someone's self-worth).   I want somebody who is going to be a runner, a builder… Someone who's gonna run around and go far with this thing.    I am not trying to convince anybody to get in my downline.   I do stuff like what I'm doing right now.    People who hear my voice and see what I'm doing… They catch the vision and they find a way into my downline.    I'm NOT trying to pitch you, but you need to understand why this is such a powerful principle.    THE SATURATED MLM MARKET GIFT   I don't BEG or ASK anybody to join my downline.    You know that nasty convincing feeling that you get sometimes? We've all been there, it's okay.    You're like, "Man, I feel like I've kinda pushed them in there."    … And then they don't do ANYTHING. That’s exactly what I'm talking about.    When people say, "The market is saturated. The market is so saturated."   THAT’S A GIFT!    That’s why I went into MLM.    The fact that I can say, "MLM," and 90% of any room already has an opinion… Oh my gosh! That's huge.    I love the show Shark Tank.   In one of the episodes of Shark Tank, there is an episode where they loved this guy…   They loved his product   They loved what he was doing   They loved everything about this guy   … But they didn't fund him.   The reason they didn't fund him was one of the most powerful lessons I've ever learned in my life.    They said, "We want your product, BUT it would take us millions of dollars to educate the market enough to want to buy that product."   "We want your product, BUT it would take millions of dollars to EDUCATE the market enough to want to buy that."    That's the ONLY reason they didn't fund him.    I DON’T WANT TO EDUCATE THE MARKET   Education takes time and money.    The fact that I can walk into a room and say, "MLM," and 90% of everyone already knows what the heck I'm talking about is a GIFT.    It is a gift.    When someone says, "Oh, well, the market's really saturated." That just means the market's been validated.    That DOESN’T mean that you shouldn't go into it.   When I'm looking to see what to sell, I look for the MOST:    Competitive   Cutthroat   Bloody red market   … That I can.    I want that.    This is literally one of my strategies. I know it is one of the reasons I’ve done so well.    In the last year and a half leaving my job, we're about to cross $4 Million.    The strategy I'm teaching you right here right now is one of the MAJOR reasons why stuff has blown up so much.    It's blown up so much because I have actively pursued bloody red, highly competitive markets.    YOU DON’T NEED TO EDUCATE THE MLM SPACE   This is a deep concept but if you came to OfferMind, you know what I'm talking about.   The reason I want saturated markets is that the customer has ALREADY been educated.    I don't need to be the one educating them.    There's a HUGE market out there.    So much money is running around the MLM space and that market is constantly finding new customers.    People who were NEVER planning on being a customer.    The MLM market as a whole are educating my dream customer for me.    All I do is wait patiently for that person to get frustrated with what they've been taught.    "Hey, you want to have success in MLM? Go talk to all your friends and family."    I just wait.    I wait for that person to get frustrated enough that when they finally see my message, my Facebook ads, my YouTube videos, the podcast or whatever it might be, they look at it and they go, "You know what? I'm kind of tired. I didn't realize that there's another way to do this."   BOOM!   MLM MARKET POSITIONING    I don't need to tell them that the other way is painful because they're experiencing pain. It's one of the greatest hacks to the game EVER.    This is one of the FIRST things I do with any corporate clients. I don't just serve the MLM space. I've done a lot of stuff with lots of big people and that's one of the first things I help them figure out.    That's called MARKET POSITIONING. You need to figure out how you’re gonna position yourself in relation to the market.    All I do is wait for people to get frustrated in the MLM space and I'm ready and waitin over here on this side, just speaking as loud as I can.    I'm just shouting my message into that space.    I'm not convincing   I'm not pushing   This is one of the FASTEST ways to grow 'cause I'm NOT the one educating them.    An entire market is saying the exact same thing. There are billions, probably trillions of dollars inside MLM.    And they're the ones who are educating my future dream customer.    When somebody says, "Oh, the MLM space is really, really saturated."    GOOD!   WHY I LOVE SATURATED MARKETS   Do you know why I sell in the ClickFunnels space also?    QUESTION: How much money and manpower is being spent on educating funnel builders inside of ClickFunnels?    ANSWER: They have over 400 employees. They spend millions of dollars in overhead every month.   When someone comes in and says, "I'm gonna compete with that."    It's like, "Good luck, Chuck."    You gotta look at the firepower you're dealing with.    All I do with the ClickFunnel space is complement it. When somebody comes into ClickFunnels, I'm like, "Hey, use ClickFunnels 'cause you should use ClickFunnels and it's dumb not to. By the way, if you want a free trial go to freecftrial.com and it'll give you a free trial of ClickFunnels, freecftrial.com.”   But what I do with ClickFunnels is wait patiently for the person to just say, "You know what, I wish somebody would just build it for me."    With ClickFunnels, I compliment that market. But in MLM, I compete with that market.    I'm throwing rocks into the market. I DON’T do that with ClickFunnels. I'm NOT throwing rocks at ClickFunnels. That's dumb.    I love ClickFunnels.    My market positioning matters. So when I hear somebody say something like, "Hey, but the MLM space is supersaturated."    That is market validation!    That actually represents security.    But you're not taught that in school. I was taught that it’s bad!    I was taught that when there’s competition, I should run the other way.    WRONG!   It takes a lifetime of dedication to build the momentum that's required to build a market.    I can either spend my entire lifetime going and developing a new market OR go see where the noise already is.    What you have to understand is that a marketer DOES NOT create attention. They just align with where attention already is.    THE BENEFIT OF A SATURATED MLM MARKET       Realize the benefit to having such massive saturation. It is a benefit.    Then all I gotta do is figure out, "How am I gonna position myself in relation to that market?"   THIS is one of the reasons why my stuff is blowing up so much. I look for places where there's a lot of noise and lots of pressure.    I don't need to create that because it's already there!    One of the reasons MLM works so well is because I have purposefully targeted the MLM space, knowing that it's saturated.    One of the biggest fears I had was that I couldn’t go talk to someone because they'd already been pitched…    Q: How many books have you ever bought on one topic? My guess is that it's more than one.    It's a false belief to sit back and say, "I can't because they have already purchased."    GOOD! I should not be the first person that my customer ever buys from.    I want to help you realize there are literally decades of previous people who've built ALL this:    Pressure    Noise   Education    … For us!    I don't have to educate people on what MLM is. All I have to do is educate them on why my stuff is cool and why they should buy it. It's a gift.   I don't care what MLM you're in, I just want to go change the industry.    EDUCATE THE SECRET MLM HACKS MARKET   I know it's tough to find people to pitch after your warm market dries up, right?    That moment when you finally run out of family and friends to pitch. I don't see many up lines teaching legitimate lead strategies today.    After years of being a lead funnel builder online I got sick of the garbage strategies most MLMs have been teaching their recruits for decades.    Whether you simply want more leads to pitch or an automated MLM funnel, head over to secretmlmhacks.com and join the next FREE training.    There you're gonna learn the hidden revenue model that only the top MLMers have been using to get paid regardless if you join them.    Learn the 3-step system I use to auto recruit my downline of big producers WITHOUT friends or family even knowing that I'm in MLM.    If you want to do the same for yourself, head over to secretmlmhacks.com.    Again that’s secretmlmhacks.com.  

I received a listener question about how to bring up a horse's energy level. If you have a question you would like answered hit the tab on the right side and leave a voice message. This listener has a thoroughbred who is very obedient but lacks exuberance. She wants to up the energy but doesn't want to punish the horse. I’m going to answer this question by sharing five tips that will bring up the horses energy and go into detail on each one. The five tips are: Be confident that you actually want an enthusiastic horse. Be more expressive with your body. Create patterns of anticipation. Exaggerate the upward transitions, and work shorter but more intense sessions.   Show Notes: [02:18] Be confident that you want a more enthusiastic horse. Be aware that when you bring the enthusiasm level up that other things can come out. [04:03] When horses bring up the enthusiasm, especially horses that can be really athletic, you can feel the collection of energy that happens right before they buck. [05:43] Sometimes I'm rewarding a horse for being a little more sluggish, but I'm aware that I'm doing that because I want to build an immediate foundation. Rider's mind quadrant.  [06:04] Rider's body quadrant. Be more expressive with your body. Watch that you're isn't super tight and precise. A lot of times when people describe using a whip or stick to bring up energy, they will be very rigid and tight with their body. [08:04] We want the horse to be connected with us, but make some video and see what you are expressing with your body. [08:57] Create patterns of anticipation. I'm going to call this a pattern of positive anticipation.  [10:44] I use the diagonal across the arena to do a lengthening. If you become consistent with the pattern of anticipation, you will see the horse start to speed up there. [13:14] You have to really understand what you're doing when you start amping up the speed. [14:30] Exaggerate the upward transitions. The better you get your upward transitions, such as walk to lope or walk to trot, you have to make sure that you exaggerate the release on the upward. Also take some extra time on the downward. [15:28] Make the horse feel like the upward is something they get a reward for and make the downward less appealing. [16:37] Work shorter more intense sessions. [16:51] Let's say every day you get on your horse and run up the road and then walk it back home. This is an exaggerated version. Think how you can add some of this to your current work plan. [17:39] Sometimes people are very diligent about following the clock. If you have a long ride and your horse is slow at the end and then gets rewarded by the ride ending, the solution would be a shorter ride where he would be exuberant the whole time. [19:14] Reward the exuberance by trying a shorter ride like 15 minutes, so they can give you a little bit more. [20:52]  Short work cycles can work really well when you need a break, but long work cycles are needed to build up strength. [21:27] The quickest way to get away from using the stick is to be consistent with your follow-through and use positive anticipation.   Links and Resources: Equithrive Use the code STACY for 10% off and Free Shipping Have you ever wondered what a live version of this podcast would be like?I’m hosting some live, online video calls that are like a live version of this podcast. I teach on a subject, answer questions and for those who are brave, I’ll turn your video on live too and you can join me for a conversation! If you want to learn more about this you can visit https://stacywestfall.com/live/ for more information!

---------------------- Appreciation written, produced, and narrated by Remedy Robinson Twitter: @slowdragremedy Email: slowdragwithremedy@gmail.com Podcast music by https://www.fesliyanstudios.com Rate this Podcast: https://ratethispodcast.com/slowdrag ---------------------- Companion Blog: https://wordpress.com/block-editor/post/slowdragwithremedy.home.blog/44  References: “Alibi”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1kqc7V6Vn8&list=RDg1kqc7V6Vn8&start_radio=1  Elvis Costello Wiki Resource, "Alibi": http://www.elviscostello.info/wiki/index.php/Alibi  The Gwendolyn Letters: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQieshbrzpI So, until next time, Adieu, my little ballyhoo   "Alibi" Lyrics: You did it 'cos you wanted Alibi, alibi And you took it 'Cos you need it Alibi, alibi But if I've done something wrong there's no "ifs and buts" 'Cos I love you just as much as I hate your guts Alibi, alibi, alibi… And you don't need anybody Alibi, alibi But you are the only one who knows this Alibi, alibi You deserve it 'cos you're special Alibi, alibi Maybe Jesus wants you for a sunbeam Alibi, alibi But if I've left something out I apologise But if you look in my eyes Then I'm sure you'll see… Alibis, alibis, alibis… Sometimes I'm so forgiving Everything seems bad to me But I can't go on living With this alibi, alibi, alibi… "Insane," what a mundane Alibi, alibi And you only wanted to be famous Alibi, alibi Sorry, but your mummy doesn't love you Alibi, alibi Stop me if you've heard this… Alibi, alibi But if I've done something right then don't be surprised There are soldiers who will kill but refuse to die But if I've done something wrong there's no "ifs and buts" 'Cos I love you just as much as I hate your guts Alibi, alibi, alibi, alibi… You were weak… You couldn't help it Alibi, alibi But you never had a pony Alibi, alibi (chorus) And you're such a people person Alibi, alibi And I will be true to you forever Alibi, alibi But you're stupid and you're lazy Alibi, alibi Maybe we can make the future better Alibi, alibi (chorus) Sometimes I'm so forgiving Everything seems bad to me But I can't go on living With this alibi, alibi, alibi… You were happy when you were poor And more honest and that's your… Alibi, alibi Sister is a whore, brother isn't sure Alibi, alibi You don't fit the body that you're trapped in Alibi, alibi Papa's got a brand new Alibi, alibi But if I've done something wrong there's no "ifs and buts" 'Cos I love you just as much as I hate your guts But if I've left something out I apologise But if you look in my eyes Then I'm sure you'll see… Alibis, alibis, alibis…

In space no one can hear you scream... with laughter. Am I right? Sometimes I'm too funny. Anyway, this podcast explores a growing rivalry between Russian and American astronauts. And if that joke at the beginning doesn't tempt you in... you're a lost cause. Starring: Graham Dickson (@gdogged), Katharine Bennett-Fox (hatchtalent.co.uk/katharine-bennett-fox) and Briony Redman (brionyredman.com)

The Sound of Music Julie Andrews stole the hearts of Americans and Canadians with her passionate "The hills are alive with the sound of music." The music, the heart wrenching story and yes, even the magnificent Alps contribute in making "The Sound of Music" a classic. She seems totally lost in the beauty around her. While I've never seen Mont Blanc or the Alps and I certainly can't sing, I find myself wanting to join Ms. Andrews in belting out that famous tune. I want to sing simply because the mountains do that to you. But I promise you, you won't hear a note out of me, cause I don't sing, not even in the shower. My singing can be compared to a deafening coyote howl.  From the Grand Tetons, to that top of the world feeling you get in the Rocky Mountains, all the way to the blue haze of our Blue Ridge Mountains, I've never seen a mountain I didn't love. And my favorite, Denali. I understand why the Native Americans still refer to it as Denali, the Great one. The name Mt. McKinley  doesn't even begin to conjurer it's majesty and at least Denali  begins to go there! I digressed. Every time I think of my experience at Denali, I always wind up at Psalms 121:1,2. The spectacular beauty of Denali points me to a place far more precious than a mesmerizing view.   It takes to me all the way to the words of another mountain lover From another part of the world The lines scrawled in Psalms 121  are the passionate words of David, shepherd and psalmist. Jerusalem, the royal city was situated on a high plain or plateau surrounded by deep valleys and dry riverbeds. While King David didn't write all the Psalms, many experts believe he wrote Psalms 121.   And like most musicians, he sang about the things he loved. High on his love list were the mountains that filled the  desert terrain.  Psalms 121 is called a song of degrees, not temperature degrees or college degrees but more accurately, the song of ascents. It was a climbing  chant for worshipers to use as they made their way to the ark housed under David's tent.  Each line is progressive.  The tent containing the ark was placed in an elevated location in Jerusalem. The song begins, "I will lift up my eyes to the hills—" Whether they are the giants of the Alaska Range, the red rocks of Sedona or the tree covered Blue Ridge baby sized mountains, they make me crane my neck to look. Oh, how I drink in the magnificent scenery! And with every vista I gasp. Do you do that? The magnificent glory of the mountains. The... waterfalls. arches. caves. I know, the beauty is overwhelming, but David didn't stop with looking up at a mountain. The beauty of God's artistry wasn't his stopping point. Their jagged point seemed to point David to the Source, the Creator of it all--Almighty God. I realize the wording in the KJV of this verse is a little confusing, "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help." It sounds like David is looking to the hills for help. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Other translations of this verse, even the New King James, ends the verse with a question mark. NKJV reads: I Song of Ascents. I will lift up my eyes to the hills-- From whence comes my help?  When I read these verses I feel like I'm right there with David as he says, "Look up. Awesome mountains, huh?" I know the feeling, because I felt it when I saw Mt. McKinley. And I gasp with this Mighty Warrior King, "Wow!" (How that for expressing beauty!I'm quite the wordsmith..aren't I!LOL) Tall Impressive Daunting Insurmountable Breath taking. Then he continues, "Does my help come from there?" I can see him shaking his head no. And I shake my head no in agreement. Did I confuse you? Yes, I agree with David, Chosen Shepherd of Israel.  And No, my help doesn't come from the mountains, either dear brother. I can almost see a wide grin come across his face, a grin that comes from remembering... remembering times, frequent times, recent times that God's help had enabled him to win. To triumph in the middle of impossible situations. I feel confident he grinned widely as he declared his faith loudly, MY HELP COMES FROM THE LORD. (I know it had to of been loudly, because how do you get a revelation like that and remain stoic?) I wonder if he's so happy by this point that he's half way dancing a jig as he adds, "who made heaven and earth." And I have to join the celebration with him, "I know what you're talking about, dear King David! No, I haven't fought a lion or a bear, but I've fought lots of giants. No, dear brother, none of them were named Goliath, but they were giants just the same! Big problems! With glaring eyes , hurling condemnation and demeaning accusations. I'm sad to say, I didn't run to meet them like you met Goliath. Sometimes, I coward-down like the army you met on that fateful day. Sometimes I'm braver than others, but even on my bravest day I have discovered, like you tell me, my dear mountain loving, friend, "my help comes from the Lord...WHO MADE HEAVEN and EARTH!" Did you get that? The same God that made everything, is my source and I don't want to leave you out dear friend. He helps us...ME and you both! Yes, me! And you too... if you let him!   Your situation isn't too big for him to handle... You're not too weak or too old or too whatever it is the enemy of your soul is declaring over you... nothing is too hard for God. But we have to ask for and receive His help. It's not automatic. Yes. It does sound too good to be true, but no, it is true. Really true! It's not a fairy tale! It's the TRUTH! Think of that! What a power source! Fabulous mountains. Stately. Majestic. Fiery Stars. Oceans... kissing the shoreline... ebbing in and out... orderly... rhythmically. God spoke and made it all. He established it. He set it in His divine order. And my help...your help comes from the one that made it all. Why do we continue to put God in our little box and limit what He can do in our lives? Why do we try to accomplish everything that needs to be done with our muscles and strength and talent? Could it be that we only view the beauty of His creation? We visit His beauty as if going to a museum... nice artifact... nice tree... nice star... nice mountain... nice! If  we stop had only recognizing what He has done, without knowing the Person that created it all, without knowing the God that King David saw behind it all, then we miss the best part. He is wonderful beyond words. God Almighty was the source of David's strength! I don't know about you, but I refuse to only enjoy the beauty of His creation. I want more. I'm going to have more than a glimpse of beauty or the photograph to remember it. I'm going to go where it all points me...to the Creator of it all. There is where the fullness of joy is found.... in Him! Ahhh! Now that's a wonderful place to be ...and it's even better than Denali!

Sometimes I'm just blown away by the people I get to meet. Sometimes it's because of their stories. Sometimes it's because of their raw talent. And sometimes it is about the body of work that they've created. But on rare occasions, I run into somebody with all of the above - and it is awe-inspiring. Michael Wall is an educator at The University of Utah, as a teacher/performer/composer in the dance department. Does that sound weird? Probably. Is it effective? Oh yeah! Between 'playing for class', helping dancers become amazing composers (via Ableton Live) and producing hundreds of tracks each year, Michael is a very, very busy dude. Combine that with the fact that he is also both an active performer and a parent, and it becomes overwhelming. This was one of the most amazing interviews I've ever done, and it came about quite unexpectedly - he wrote me as a fan of the podcast, and filled me in on a little of his work. As I tend to do, I followed up with a little research, and became increasingly intrigued. Then I talked to him, and I couldn't believe what I heard. The amount of music he creates, commissions that he takes on, and students that he teaches - it's just amazing. I hope you enjoy this discussion as much as I did. You should also take the opportunity to check out his work: either on Spotify, or at his website at https://www.soundformovement.com/. And thanks for listening!

Sometimes I'm here to give you a bit of tough love, a kick in the pants as I like to call it! Today that looks like this: no more excuses! How many times have you pushed aside the spark of an idea with the excuse of laziness? You know what, you are not lazy. It's time to unpack why you're saying that and what to do about it. This month we have focused on creativity - getting started, what it looks like, what it doesn't look like, even how to mimic! If you have listened in, maybe even worked on your progress plan, and had any creativity sparks I sure hope you haven't pushed them aside. And if you have, it's time to figure out why you did that. I'm talking about the real reasons behind the laziness excuse, and maybe one or more will really resonate with you. There have been many instances in my life where I've chosen to pursue something scary, and I know it's hard work. I also know it's okay if you have to fail your way to the top. Remember, you are not lazy, but you may be using some of the tactics I discuss in this episode to talk your self out of your dreams. Apply this topic to almost anything, really. For me it's been a wide range: blogging, podcasting, baking, exercising, and more! Before you think that I think you should do everything all at once, I also believe in owning the things we just don't want that bad - again no excuses, though. I had to accept that I cared enough to put my fears aside and pursue my passions. I believe you can own that same mindset. About a few other things If you feel inspired by something you've learned this month, would you share that with our community? Send me a voice message at hello@aboutprogress.com to be featured on the last episode of the month, the "Dear Progressor" episode. I am also celebrating my birthday all month long by spoiling those that leave a rating and review for the podcast. Each week I'll select a name and send them something fun to say thank you! Lastly, thank you for the outpouring of support for Podcast U! You can still enroll through June. The first of my 3 free classes is tomorrow! Check out the other dates if you are interested. SHOW NOTES -Podcast University is now live! Enrollment closes at the end of June. -Join me live in my FREE class this month: 3 Things You MUST Know to Start Your Podcast -Get your first month+ FREE with Libsyn using code MONICA -FREE Printables, including this month’s Progress Plan -Lend your voice and experience + be featured on the show HERE -Join the free and private FB group -Apply for the Progress Program: SMALL-group GROWTH coaching for women (applicants taken monthly!) -Join Monica on Facebook and Instagram -Songs Credit: Nicolai Heidlas

FamilyBy Hetty McKinnon Intro: Welcome to the Cookery By the Book podcast, with Suzy Chase. She's just a home cook in New York City, sitting at her dining-room table, talking to cookbook authors.Hetty McKinnon: Hi, this is Hetty McKinnon and I'm the author of a new cookbook called Family: New Vegetarian Comfort Food to Nourish Every Day.Suzy Chase: Everything you do has a special homey welcoming feel, from Neighborhood Studio, your community kitchen, to Peddler Journal and Multicultural Food Journal, to your blog, Arthur Street Kitchen, to your latest cookbook Family. Take me back to Surry Hill City in 2011 when you rode around your neighborhood delivering salads to locals. Talk a bit about your style of creating, feeding and connecting with community.Hetty McKinnon: Great question. So, Arthur Street Kitchen was a salad delivery business which was started out of my home kitchen in Sydney in a little neighborhood called Surry Hills. And at the time before this, I think people didn't quite understand that I wasn't involved in food. Before 2011 I was... many years I worked in PR, living in Sydney and London, and then we moved home and I had three children in quick succession and I just really decided I wanted to do something that I could do from home, that kept me within my community. It was just a really special time and a special neighborhood.Hetty McKinnon: I have been vegetarian for many years, and even though Surry Hills has a lot of beautiful food, it's one of the most popular food areas in Sydney, I thought, actually there's no one really making salads, like vegetarian salads, big salad with lots of multicultural flavors. So I just thought, hey, I'm going to do this. And I started... I use business, like I'm doing air quotes right now, "business" in inverted commas, because I didn't really see it as a business. I just thought, actually just really want to cook for people. Because before this I didn't really... as I said, I wasn't involved in food, so...Hetty McKinnon: Once I started cooking, I really realized that connection that can be [inaudible 00:02:25] through food, that was quite unique, that feeling of cooking for someone and of them appreciating the effort that you've put in something that you've made with your own hands, was quite a... almost an addictive feeling. I just felt this incredible emotional connection that I'd never experienced before. So basically I made these salads, they were vegetarian salads, vegetable based, seasonal, and I'd pop them in a little container and put them on the back of my bike and I cycled them around my neighborhood.Hetty McKinnon: So for me that business was always... I always felt like it was more for me than for other people. I got such joy out of the feeding. But never did I expect that the people I was delivering to would respond in the way that they responded. I never imagined that over this exchange of a salad box that you could become lifelong friends with somebody. That you in 10 minutes, or... I have to say, Suzy, I took a long time delivering, because I talk so much. And I would just look forward to seeing these people. I only delivered two days a week. And those two days it was... I just wanted to see people, I just wanted to talk to them. We'd talk about the food a little bit, but we'd also talk about life and the neighborhood and love, and all these things. In that exchange of a salad box there would be this deep friendship being formed. It was just really special, and many of those people are still my very close friends. I see them as part of my family now.Hetty McKinnon: So yes, it was a really incredible thing, and the business just took off. I never advertised it, I didn't really want to... I didn't want people to know about it, almost. I wanted it to really develop from word of mouth. I wanted people to really only find out about it because someone loved it so much that they told them about it. Once word got out, though, it started getting hard, because I only really delivered to a very small area, because I was doing everything myself. Like you, Suzy, with your podcast, I was a one woman show. I was basically teaching myself to cook while I ran the business. I didn't really... all these salad recipes were made up on the week of the delivery.Hetty McKinnon: Every week I made up four new salads. Because I guess sub-consciously I was teaching myself to cook, I was teaching myself about flavor and about what vegetables went with what spices, what vegetable teamed well with which grain, and each salad recipe was a story to me. It was my way of saying something about my life. It was me reaching back into my memory and going, wow, I had this salad six years ago in Puglia, in Italy, and that felt very evocative to me, and it reminds me of that particular vacation, and so I want to create a salad that's around that. Or certain ingredients, we started incorporating a lot of Asian ingredients, and that's because my mum was in the kitchen with me, she would come and... because my youngest at the time was one, this was when I started Arthur Street Kitchen, and she would come and look after my son [Hok 00:06:22] while I was cooking, but of course my mum's an amazing cook so she would come into the kitchen and boss me around. She would tell me all the things I was doing wrong and give me advice and...Hetty McKinnon: I think that business to me was special from that point of view too, because it made me closer to my mum. It brought me closer to the story of her life, and she would tell me things while we were cooking together that she wouldn't normally tell me. The cliché of the little old Chinese women gossiping, that was us in the kitchen. It was just a really special business, and I guess from that I wrote a book that was called Community, and that book is... it just did these things that I never expected it to. At the time I'd never written a recipe before, and people asked me... about a year before I wrote the book people would start asking for recipes. "Oh, I really love that roasted carrot salad with the [inaudible 00:07:32], can I have that recipe?"Hetty McKinnon: So I would go home and write these salad recipes and email it to people, just customers. And then it got to the point where, there was this one week, seminal week in deliveries, when four people said to me, "Oh, you should write a cookbook". And I was like, that's a sign. I should write a cookbook.Suzy Chase: Yes!Hetty McKinnon: So I started writing this collection of recipes, and it was just all the recipes that I had made over the... I think it was about a year or 18 months into the business. And I had this collection of recipes, and it was hard, Suzy, like the first... it took me about a year to write that book, because I was also running the business and had three young children at the time. And it took me a year to get all these recipes down, and salad deliveries turned into book deliveries, so there were a few weeks when I was delivering these books and salads. It was just an incredible time, unexpected. That's the story of Community, and Community is coming up to its fifth year in Australia and it's been a bestseller since the very beginning.Suzy Chase: On your blog, you wrote: "My husband and I and our three children, Scout, Dash and Hok, now live in a leafy part of Brooklyn. Here I continue to make friends with salad". Now, as a non salad lover I took that sentence to mean that you learned to like salad. Did you always love it?Hetty McKinnon: I love vegetables, so... I think that line actually means, I continue to make friends through serving salad.Suzy Chase: Oh... oh my God, I left out a comma.Hetty McKinnon: So there's that whole... people joke about this a lot, because there's that Simpsons episode where Bart says, "You can't make friends with salad". Well, I say that I've defied Bart Simpson by saying, I have made a lot of friends through salad. But salad, it's funny, it is actually a really pertinent question, because I'm Chinese, I grew up in a very traditional Chinese household, and we never ate salad. In Chinese culture you don't really eat a lot of raw things, because it's not... they deem it as too cold for your body, so it imbalances your body. Because there's a whole yin and yang thing, balancing hot and cold. So raw food is not something we eat a lot in Chinese culture.Hetty McKinnon: Through cookbooks and really diving into the flavors from my childhood, I just discovered like, wow, you can roast and you can char grill and you can pan fry and I just thought, salad is the best way to present these vegetables. There is so much you can do with salad. There is all these journeys that you can go on through using spice and texture and even things down to herbs and nuts. With the herb that you... I used to do this thing with my friend in Sydney where we'd go, "Okay, so if it's a French salad, what nut are you going to use?" And I would say something like, "Oh, hazelnuts". Or, "If it's a Middle Eastern salad, what nut are you going to use?" I would say, "Oh, maybe a walnut". So there's all these different ways of injecting these elements into salads that give them real personality and a real story and a real character.Hetty McKinnon: To me now, Family is more than just salad. There's a very hefty salad chapter, but there is also things like soups and pastas and bakes and a whole egg chapter. But if I had to choose one type of dish I would eat for the rest of my life, it would be a salad, because I can do anything with a salad.Suzy Chase: Talk to me about the idea of cooked lettuce. I grew up in Kansas, and we always ate lettuce raw. We never cooked it.Hetty McKinnon: Yes. I think most people in the world eat lettuce raw. As I was saying, in Chinese culture, we don't eat a lot of raw food, so lettuce is used as a very common base for stews. So there would be a mushroom stew that would... shiitake mushrooms that go on the top, or sometimes there's abalone, there's also an abalone stewed dish that would have cooked lettuce on the bottom. So most of our greens in Asian culture are cooked. Cooked lettuce is such a nostalgic taste for me.Suzy Chase: Yes. On Monday evening I made your stir fried lettuce bowl, with ginger fried rice and fried egg. And the lettuce still had a bit of crunch, but it was nice and warm, and it was coated with the sauce. Can you describe this dish?Hetty McKinnon: The fried rice for one is my favorite fried rice. It is ginger, it's very minimalist in ingredients, but ginger is the main flavoring for the rice. And then I've added the cooked lettuce, which is cooked in a soy sauce. You can use lots of things, you can use oyster sauce if you're not vegetarian, you can use the vegetarian stir fry sauce, a mushroom sauce, but I've used a soy based sauce. And then it's served with a fried egg. And a fried egg is something we ate a lot with rice. It was like my mother's... when she was in a hurry or she didn't have a lot of time, she would always make these fried eggs, perfectly made in a wok with brown frizzled edges and the yolk would be made custom according to how each of her children enjoyed it.Suzy Chase: In this cookbook there are family stories sprinkled throughout. Tell us about... and I'm not going to pronounce her name right. Julia [Bushitil Nishamora 00:13:55] and her darling family.Hetty McKinnon: Julia is a friend and colleague from Melbourne, in Australia, and she is of Maltese heritage. So she shares with us a Maltese ricotta pie which is nostalgic to her because it's the pie that her aunt made for her when she visited her in Malta. I think she's the queen of comfort food. She speaks fluent Italian, she lived in Italy for some time. She's actually an Italian teacher. And she has this Maltese heritage, and her husband is Japanese, so she also has that kind of influence. So she's got a really wonderful... I see her as... encapsulates multi-cultural Australia, in a way. I'm just touching on those family stories that are in Family, that you talk about. I see those stories as really the beating heart of the book. As cooks, as authors, as recipe developers, we're all part of this eco-system of history and... I find other people's stories so inspiring. Other people's stories bolster my own story, if you know what I mean.Suzy Chase: Yes.Hetty McKinnon: And it makes me feel like I'm part of a community that is larger than just myself, and I love to celebrate that. People have asked me before, "Why would you feature another person in your book? It's your book". And I'm like, but this is what I actually love the most. It's really sharing other people's stories and having that resonate just not only with me, but with other people.Suzy Chase: The other night I made your other recipe, on page 42, for the deconstructed falafel salad. I love your interpretation of this recipe. Describe this.Hetty McKinnon: Who doesn't falafels? We love falafels. I'm vegetarian, of course, and falafels is often the vegetarian option for non meat eaters. It's roasted chickpeas, and you can incidentally do this with any legume, you don't have to use chickpeas, you can use... I've done it with cannellini beans or navy beans, or borlotti, Roman beans. But it's just this method of you cooking it in olive oil and some garlic and some spices, and it just... the flavor intensifies and it gets this crispy coating on the outside and it's so more-ish.Hetty McKinnon: And then the salad has a lemon tahini that's finished off, it's got the wilted kale alongside the freshly shaved cucumber. There's some herbs and lemon mixed in there. So there's a lot of texture and a lot of flavor, and it's just so deeply satisfying. You can serve it with pita chips. Some people like to eat it without, because it's then gluten free, but some pita chips is always nice too. So it's all about bringing in lots of layers of flavor, but then also bringing in lots of layers of texture. And I think the salad really encapsulates all of that.Suzy Chase: The lovely thing about this cookbook is that you can combine frozen this, or store bought that, or canned whatever, and the dish comes out perfectly home made and fresh.Hetty McKinnon: I don't always get to go to the greenmarket every week. Sometimes I'm just so busy, I have to make do with my local grocery store and my local greengrocer, and that's okay too. I want this book to be really egalitarian. I think there's a lot of guilt. People feel guilty. It's like, if I'm going to be a vegetarian, or if I'm going to eat more vegetables, I have to shop at the greenmarket. And if that's going to be the difference of what's stopping someone from eating more vegetables, I say just go to your local supermarket or greengrocer, and get that broccoli, it's okay.Hetty McKinnon: I want people to feel like they can use canned beans, because in reality busy families, even if you're a busy single person, you don't have to have a family, just busy people, don't have time to cook chickpeas from scratch. You have to soak it 24 hours before you're going to cook it, and then it's another 45 to two hours of cooking. It's a long process, and from a practical point of view, I don't want that to be turning people off from making this amazing deconstructed falafel salad, if they think that, "Oh, I need to soak chickpeas".Suzy Chase: Onto my segment called My Last Meal. What would you have for your last supper?Hetty McKinnon: Would be probably ginger fried rice. Something like that, something that's direct from my childhood, that brings me ultimate comfort. Or a salad, probably like a childhood broccoli salad.Suzy Chase: Where can we find you on the web and social media?Hetty McKinnon: Okay. So you can find me on Instagram @hettymckinnon, just my full name spelt out, no dots or underscores. Or at my website, www.arthurstreetkitchen.com.Suzy Chase: This has been terrific. Thanks so much, Hetty, for coming on Cookery By the Book podcast.Hetty McKinnon: Thank you, Suzy. I'm so happy to talk to you.Outro: Follow Suzy Chase on Instagram @cookerybythebook, and subscribe at cookerybythebook.com or in Apple podcasts.Outro: Thanks for listening to Cookery By the Book podcast. The only podcast devoted to cookbooks, since 2015.

"Where are you in relation to what you're trying to manifest?" David Thomas Wright helps spiritual and creative entrepreneurs to manifest their big vision and recognize their divine worth. David and I talk about developing intuition to enhance your manifesting journey, the interplay of intuition and intentions, the Law of Attraction. If you have questions about whether the impulse to relocate is part of a higher calling for you … David has lived this experience of following his intuition to a new city and manifesting a new life for himself. GUEST LINKS - DAVID THOMAS WRIGHT Intuitive Icons Maverick Manifesting Group HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSONSlade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition FACEBOOK GROUPShift Your Spirits Community BECOME A PATRONpatreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT Slade: Texting back and forth, messaging on Facebook about my love life or whatever and it kind of came up. The thing that really struck me was, I've thought about doing shows on... I think it's called astrocartography and location-based purpose and feeling this sense of, I've got to move somewhere cool. I mean, we've all experienced that at some point in our life. Over the years, this is something that clients bring in readings all the time, are these questions about feeling like they need to move somewhere and that a better life is waiting for them somewhere else. On the one hand, I do believe that in some cases, if you manifest everything else that you possibly want and need, it probably won't matter where you are. Like if I took you where you are right now and you said, "I'm unhappy. I don't have anyone." If I suddenly gave you this wonderful job working from home, and then you randomly met the love of your life living two blocks away, suddenly you don't want to leave. David: Absolutely. Slade: Yeah. David: It changes everything. Slade: But you kind of lived this idea of following an impulse to move somewhere specific and begin a new life. So I want you to take me back to where you were before all that happened, and tell me about how this manifestation journey to another place unfolded for you. David: Sure. So I've always felt that obviously places are about people. So being drawn to a place would have some sort of "knock on" effect where you're being drawn to the right people and the right circumstances. But I was looking for something in my life and I was looking for a sense of home. Because I didn't really have, and hadn't had that sense of home and belonging for a long, long time. When I was in my early 20s, I studied in London, and had to come back home because it was so expensive to live there and was still looking for work. I went through a phase in my life where I thought it was about going back to London or this dream, or this aspiration to go back to London, and that was the kind of measurement of my wellbeing or not. Over time, it seemed to kind of disappear. That intention or that need to return to London just wasn't there anymore. And I was actually living here in Lincolnshire and I went on holiday for the first time to Edinburgh, Scotland. Now there is a bit of a backstory and I don't know whether I told you this but I was first working with clients and giving psychic, intuitive readings. I was probably about 17, 18, and I used to sense what was Scottish guide or a Scottish influence which I felt was to do with his ancestry. Not past lives but some sort of remembrance. And it would come in and sometimes I would see this and it's going to sound a little cheesy, but a little bit like what we see now in Outlander. So that kind of Scottish chieftan and the kind of full Highlander regalia. Quite hot really. And that's what I got from this guide and again it just kind of fizzled out in the early 20s. And then there was a point in my life when I was looking for a sense of home and belonging, and this Scottish feeling, whatever that means, this kind of pull towards Scotland came in again. And I noticed that when I opened up to give readings, and I knew that it wasn't about the clients. It was just something that was slipping into that vibration because I was open to channel. I thought, okay, well the last time I thought about this, I was kind of early 20s. Now I'm sort of mid-30s. It's been a journey. I looked back at my old journals from the time and I kept writing "the royal road the royal road" over and over again. I also wrote the word "Bute". And hand on heart, whether it's subconscious or not, this is before the age of Google, or before I had access to Google, I thought Butes was in Cornwall but that's Bude. So Bute is an Isle which I've visited now since, and that was kind of in my freestyling automatic writing journalling in my early 20s and also "the royal road". Now, short story, I think "the royal road" is the Royal Mile, which is the main historical high street, if you like, in Edinburgh. So I kept being drawn to Scotland, and specifically, Edinburgh. I went with my partner at the time and it was like falling in love. So if anyone has been to Edinburgh, it is a beautiful city aesthetically. Amazing architecture, a lot of heritage. You're near the sea. There's a castle on volcanic rock. It's like Game of Thrones. But then you kind of have your high street and everything you would want from a major city. I was just wowed by it. It felt like falling in love with a person. It was a completely magnetic pull. I did visit a couple of times afterwards and on one visit, I went to a past life regression expert because I was like, what is this all about, this draw? I now feel that it isn't necessarily about a past life as it is about ancestry. I've tried to trace the ancestry but what came up for me eventually was, well why does it matter? Does it have to be quantified or qualified with, it's an ancestral thing or it's a past life thing. Maybe this just speaks to now. So I thought, okay, this has always been here in some way. One point that I do want to make is, I don't know how you feel about this Slade, but there's quite a small divide between what we would call an intuitive hunch and spontaneous manifestation. I guess I'll explain that a bit more later, but what I manifested here, some might say it was destiny or fate, as in: you got the prompts intuitively when you were in your early 20s and then you followed those prompts and you were meant to live here and so it was always gonna happen. It could have been fated or predicted. Yes, to an extent. But I actually began to use manifesting processes for the first time in my life, to make sure that I would move and have the opportunity to move to Edinburgh. Because as soon as I went there, I got tingles now talking about it, it was like being in love. There was a calm. It wasn't just about desire or longing and a strong need to start again and have a new life. Which I did need. I think sometimes when it's intuitive, there's like a calm underneath because you know the pieces are going to come together one way or the other. I know, of course, that people would say you can goalset your way to relocating. Yeah, absolutely. And some of my friends are coaches in the more conventional perspective and they sometimes struggle with what we would call the woo-woo scale of energy manifesting all the time _____ But the way this unfolded is I couldn't have strategized my way to Edinburgh. I could've literally but it would taken a long time or it wouldn't have happened in this way at the right time. Because I made a friend, completely out of the blue, via Instagram, and that made it possible for me to move and stay with him for a few months while I got myself together. I guess I'm skipping a little bit forward in time. Talking about my process, which might be useful to others if you wanted to try this. Whether it's a business dream, whether it's a passion project, whether it's about relocation, I really like to help people with a big vision, and I think a lot of that has come from my own journey moving to Edinburgh. So what I did was put images around me at home in Lincolnshire of Edinburgh. You know the castle. And also, more kind of not just the touristy stuff but kind of more earthy and grounded images and associations with the city. Because I'm thinking, I'm not always going to be hanging around the castle or going to tourist attractions. Sometimes I'm gonna just be going to the local shop. So I found images online which kind of represented an earthier side of the city as if I'm living there, not just being a tourist. I also put sort of post-it notes around my house and they were supposed to be subliminal. I think the subliminal approach works because the idea of reaffirming can be quite forceful and therefore quite tense experience, and the desire to reinforce something through constant affirmations is fear-based. And I think there's a tension underneath that which could actually push an experience away from you. So what I try to do was to take a more subliminal approach with post-it notes, with these postcard images I had around. I think I had a vision board. Also, one of the most effective things I find is to record an audio of what you are experiencing in the present tense as if you have it now. These are the principles that are kind of well known to people who are listening, but it worked for me. Hearing it in my own voice and just having it in the background as I'm walking down the street or as I'm falling asleep I think made a huge difference to my energy and to my ability to just expect this outcome. Not hope, because I think hope is obviously a wonderful emotion, but I think when you really begin to rock and roll with the manifesting, it's about an inevitability sort of feeling. It's an intuitive inevitability. It's kind of like, I don't want this and I'm not hoping for it because that's a pull. But I'm sort of expecting it and I kind of know. And so the stuff that could not be strategized, for example, chance meetings as I said at the beginning. It's all about people more than it is about places. Financially, I wasn't in a super abundant place. So having the opportunity to just stay with someone for three months was hugely helpful to get me on my feet and to get me in the city. And that friend of mine has got quite an insistent character, and he is, I don't know if he'd agree with this, but I see him as more confident than me. He's a performer for a living. So I see him as having all this confidence and he gave me, I think, on more than one occasion, a bit of a push and like, just do this. Do you know what I mean? Let's just get on with it and you can stay with me for a few months. That was hugely helpful. Also what gave me the incentive to move forward. This is where I think it gets quite juicy. The manifesting stuff for me isn't just about identifying something that you want. I also think that you choose something. For me, it was a city and everything that I believed I would experience there, including having some not so good days and expecting it to not be like a paradise but being alive and being real. It's almost like lassoing your energy to something, like a cowboy. For me, it was a city. I think sometimes when we're attracted to things in that way, it's a focal point. And then you can train your energy and vibration, yes to manifest the outcome where I'm living in that physical city, but also it's like a reference point to up-vibe, or to scale up your vibe, whatever way you want to put it so that you become a vibrational match for what you want. But also that you release anything that does not serve you in the meantime. Because as soon as I set this intention in a real way and look at manifesting, I actually attracted what was a quite tumultuous love affair, sort of fling, sort of dark night of the soul experience. I think that it made my own experience like a living hell. That sounds like an exaggeration but... Slade: Wait a minute. Tell us a little bit about what that was. David: Yup. Okay. Slade: That sounded way too juicy. David: Yeah it's so juicy. You're gonna get more juiced. So this was about me trying to, or being able to, release myself from any mindsets which was preventing me from allowing, accepting, attracting, manifesting the outcome. So when I do talk to people about my manifesting, it's not like I'm saying, "Buckle up, it's going to be a rough ride", because it doesn't have to be at all. But I think that to really get what you want, because manifesting is about feelings. It isn't about physical stuff. Yes you do manifest the physical experience, but you're able to inhabit it in the way that you asked for. Because your mindset has changed. For example, going back to love and romance, a lot of people ask me about manifesting love, and I don't think that they just want someone to validate them and say, "Wow, you're really gorgeous and sexy and I want to spend my life with you. In their own experience, they want to feel comfortable themselves and to be able to receive that and enjoy that and feel good about that. So, I don't know if you've had this experience, but a lot of readers will get asked, what is someone else thinking about me? Or, what is my love interest thinking about me? And in the end, the manifesting stuff is so powerful because it is about how you perceive that situation. Because if you can't feel comfortable with it, then you could have the guy under your window serenading you but you might not feel the way you want it to feel. So when you do manifestation and you're saying to the Universe, "I want this", it isn't just about... I think what the Universe hears is not only you want to live in this postal code, this zip code. It's hearing, you want to have a certain emotional experience. So what we're going to do is to organize everything to enable that to happen. So yeah, you get to live in the postal code / zip code, or, and, you get feel the way that you want to feel. A part of that was, in my journey, I developed a really magnetic, but at times toxic, connection with someone. I wasn't looking for that necessarily. I wasn't really looking for a long term partnership because I'd recently left a relationship. But it is something that pushed all of my buttons. I'm not really keen on the conversation that I hear a lot of, which is empath versus narcissist, and kind of putting people into boxes in that way. If I identify as an empath, let's just say that a lot of stuff happened which would be a struggle for anyone, but particularly an empath who is, like myself, a bit emotional, intuitive, empathic machine. What it brought about was, it prompted me to think about, what do you really want? Because it's part of this experience. There was an invitation to an extent. I don't know if the invitation was to build a life with that person. But it was, are you going to stick around and commit to this relationship or connection, whatever we call that, and therefore commit more to the city that you're living in right now, or do you want something else entirely. And it could have been quite tempting to say, "Actually, I want to stay because what I'm really looking for is the right kind of partnership and this could be it. So I'll just stay here then." What I found in that experience is that my needs weren't met so that was a bit of a wake up call. But also, as that played out, and it was at times confusing and upsetting and a little bit hellish for me, which would've been to do with my own mindset stuff. I'm not into blame around that or why didn't this person do this differently, but it sort of highlighted to me that it would be quite difficult now to find what I am looking for in this small city. And it'd already been difficult to find the kind of work that I wanted or of course nowadays we can be on the internet and we can be international, etc. And it was, when I say ____, I mean that in a good way. It was a real indicator that it is time to go, David. It really is time to move on. Because my associations with... I couldn't not think about memories and triggering negative experiences from this romantic encounter that I'd had, or relationship. I was thinking about it in my home. I was walking about in a small city and I'm thinking, am I going to bump into that person? It's painful when I do see that person and it was kind of like, no, this is a sign that it is time to get out of Dodge. There were a few peak experiences and coincidences, or synchronicities, with that person and in that experience where it was kind of like, Ohmygod, this is becoming more and more uncomfortable. I feel something is prompting me and pushing me to make a choice about the future and really move on. So the opportunities were there for going back to Edinburgh, which is where I wanted to move to. The opportunities were there to move, arguably before. But something happened in me where I just let go. You know when you sometimes seek advice from other people, even those people who care for you or intuitive. Intuitive friends of mine and psychic friends of mine who've kind of given their take on things and my journey. It's always going to look easy for them because they're not living it. But they were correct. It was that, they were telling me that all the pieces were there but there was something in me that had to shift to claim it, and to be able to move forward. And something had to happen which kind of pushed me. Now I don't think any external force made that happen to me because I don't really believe in that as such. And I certainly don't have any feelings for that person, because it seems like a long, long time ago now or the experience that I had. But there is an unconscious aspects to manifesting as well. And a lot of the processes that we see talked about are, they're quite conscious mind. Repeat enough information. It's very cognitive, it's very on the surface. But I also believe that manifesting can happen on a subconscious level because what I did, I believe I created also that difficult experience and attracted it and entertained it because I knew it would push me to the limit. It would push me to making a choice and work through some blocks which I may not have done otherwise. I am a procrastinator. I don't know if that's a Virgo thing, but I am a champion procrastinator. That's what led me to look at coaching, because I was looking for something that would take me out of my procrastination and sort of galvanize me a little bit. So I think I manifested the difficult circumstances to prompt myself to actually make that move. I guess the moral of the story is: manifestation, it isn't just about bricks and mortar or, you know, zip codes. It is about what you feel a place would represent, if we're talking about relocation. Ultimately it's about people, and that became true. Because I had a lot of ideas and intentions about what Edinburgh was going to represent. I wasn't ____ sort of like fairyland, where all your dreams come true and it's perfect all the time. Because I knew it would be a real home, and as people, we have, day to day, different experiences. Sometimes we're happy, sometimes we're sad. I framed these ideas about what it was going to represent. And I actually moved to Edinburgh a couple years ago. It was April the 1st and I think that is quite significant because that is April Fool's day of course. It makes me think of the Fool in the tarot. Slade: Yeah. David: Which is the first stage of the journey and it's a leap of faith and being "foolish" and going against the grain and going against limiting beliefs and just going for that. So I've always felt that was significant. And I gave away most of my stuff. I gave it to charity shops or I sold it or I just got rid of it. And so when I moved out to Edinburgh to stay with my friend, I had probably two large suitcases with me on the train. That was it. So I'm sitting on the train and spirit are talking to me. And maybe this is an experience that other people have had. I can hear spirit very well when I am travelling, especially if I'm not having to do anything. I actually haven't driven a car for years and years, funny enough, but I did qualify to drive. But when I'm sitting on my own, on a train or something like that, because you're kind of in between two realities, you're between two spaces, and quite often there's not a lot to do. You're just looking out the window and that has always prompted amazing ideas, such as, it makes me think about J.K. Rowling when she had the whole idea for the plotline of Harry Potter came to her on a train. I can understand. Slade: Yeah! David: I understand that. Funny enough, she wrote Harry Potter in Edinburgh. I love her. Slade: I do too. David: Yeah, big fan. So, I think it is a special energy, to be between states in that way. Literally, I guess, sometimes. So I hear spirit really clearly. And I would also say is a tip if you want to manifest or intend, this in between space, this liminal space when you're travelling, is a good place to do it. But anyway, they're chatting to me. "So what you going here for then?" And I'm like, well you know, because you prompted me, or you were part of this conversation or this creation process. "So what are your intention then?" And I'm kind of talking about this big lofty stuff. They're like, "Okay, yeah, cool, but really what did you want to find?" "Well I want to find a partner. I want to find a husband." They're like, "Okay, we're getting to it now." That's the nitty gritty. This is how I talk to spirit. That's how they talk to me. It's very like friends over coffee. So it is about career opportunities, and it is about beautiful architecture. But it's also about, let's find a life partner. Let's find that lovely partner/husband/etc. And they said, "Okay then. So be it. As you intend it, it's there." And they said, "Why don't you just drop another wish into the well. Why don't you just give us something else and nothing is big or lofty as the life partner or the career dream. Why don't you just drop something in there." I'm like, "You know what? I've always wanted to sail or learn to sail or be on boats or spend time on the water. And it's not been this burning passion since I was a kid. It's just something that I've always been really curious about." And they're like, "Okay, cool." So I dropped that in the wishing well kind of thing. So April the 1st I move there. Then I began looking for friends on a dating app. The magic of dating apps we know can be very powerful. So I met my partner Joe on the 26th of April and that was it. So him arriving took 26 days and it was a feeling of complete certainty from the very beginning. From the first time I met him in person. I can't claim to be super intuitive about talking to him before that point because I just thought he looked quite sexy, that was it. Maybe that was necessary, do you know what I mean? Instead of having these lofty intuitive insights about this picture of this guy. He looks hot. I'm gonna meet him. I think that's a good enough prompt, don't you? Slade: Well yeah, because, let's just state for the record here, because obviously I've recorded a bunch of stuff about relationship things and men and all that. David: That was genius, Slade. Slade: Thank you! The one thing I've gotten a lot of questions about or messages about and I just need to put it out there because it's honestly never come up before. All of the intuition in the world kind of goes out the window when you're dealing with this kind of attraction. I think people beat themselves up a lot, just the average muggle beats themselves up for not having better intuition about someone they're romantically involved with. Like you said, the first impulse is a kind of sexual attraction. That sort of throws you into your lizard brain anyway and... But for whatever reason, and oddly enough, I remember hearing another psychic, TV psychic, talk about this one time and her whole philosophy was we learn about ourselves through people and through these relationships, especially these very serious challenging relationships. There would be no lessons for us. There would be no opportunity to grow through these people if we kind of could predict everything about it, or knew at a glance this person's story. David: Yes. Slade: Now I might have that kind of complete feeling about other people, but yeah, just for the record, when it's potentially, like you said, your future husband, you're probably not gonna get all that much information. David: And actually, you are completely right. And I would say, my ability to intuit for myself, not about men necessarily, but other choices that I make or other life aspects, that has probably developed in the last few years. And I think it's because of this manifesting work I've been doing. And I would make that separate to, obviously intuitive work that I've done for other people. So I've been able to be intuitive for others in some capacity since I was about 12. The ability to intuit for myself, how it's manifesting, however, a lot of people talk about intuition in the context of caution and that's what I don't quite get. My intuition has always, and how it relates to manifesting, like two sides to the same coin, has always been about, I feel intuitively drawn to Edinburgh, for example, and I intuitively know that this is going to fall into place. And I want to say, that's got nothing to do with my work as a psychic or whatever word that you want to use. So if anyone is listening to this, it's not about being intuitive to the level that you can do that for others or do that professionally. This does apply to everybody. It would, of course, apply very much to empathic people or people who are naturally more intuitive. But what I find interesting is, there are some people who hone intuition and then they think they need to veer off into these realms of using that for people, some sort of vocation or profession. And actually, we don't. And there are a lot of intuitives who are professionals who, when they are trained, never get told, "Hey, you know what? These intuitive insights, you can use this to empower yourself without going straight into a service role for others. I like to help people with that because my intuition I sense in relation to manifesting and attracting what I want isn't anything to do with the process that happens when I support other people. It's completely different because... I call it an intuitive yes feeling, and it's something I like to help people develop because people, as I was saying, people talk about intuition in the realms of caution, and I don't really get that. Because we could call that instinct and as you said, that's lizard brain. That is, there's a car coming, or something that we see animals do when they intuitively know there's an earthquake. I get that. Without getting lost in the semantics of it, maybe we call that instinct or animal instinct or lizard brain instinct. Intuition is, for me, it's a warm "yes" feeling, which tells you where you are in relation to your intentions and what you're trying to manifest. So if I'm thinking, do I go to that party? It's like, yeah. So going back to finding my partner on a dating app, the sexy curiosity was enough. Because it wasn't about me reading him as a psychic to find out something that might be "wrong". I'm doing air quotes. You can probably see me. That's not the approach. It was - something resonates about this. I didn't feel I had the energy for... Not that I didn't have the energy for a life partnership to appear, but I certainly didn't have the energy for a big lofty experience, which would make me analyze. And like the Virgo I am, make me think it all to death, because I'd just been through that painful experience that we talked about earlier. So actually, sometimes, it is intuitive, or it is the right thing to say, "He looks hot. I might hang out with him." And so, that's what I needed. In order to manifest it, I didn't need to think, I wonder if he's Capricorn or whatever, or am I looking for evidence of narcissistic traits or is he kind to animals and things like that. It's nothing to do with that. It's just, let's be open. Like the Fool in the tarot again, let's be open, let's be playful. Because that is the, what's the word, that is what the soul does. So for me, intuition and how that relates to manifestation isn't about fear, and it isn't, "Oh, my intuition is telling me not to go to that party". "My intuition doesn't tell me good vibes about her." My feeling around intuition, maybe it's a different word I should be using, is that I've set an intention and the Universe is telling me where I am in relation to it by the vibes that I'm getting. What that means is, if I'm tuning in to the soul, I've never been fully comfortable with that word, I don't know why, but I guess you know what I mean. The soul isn't afraid. The soul self just wants to expand. It wants to explore and it's playful. I often think about babies who swim when you take them to the first swimming class because they don't have a fear of water and that reminds me of the energy that we come into this earthly experience with. It's just like, I want to explore and I'm here to expand and I don't feel I'm not entitled to anything. I feel worthy. I feel that everything is possible. I'm not scared about what Abraham Hicks would call the contrast in life and the possible difficult experiences. I'm not scared of that at all. I came here for the variety. I really, really believe that. So when I make an intuitive choice, sometimes it will be about something. I'm sure it was intuitive for me to have that big dramatic hot fling that I had before I left Lincolnshire. That was intuitive because someone could say to me, you should have trusted your intuition, because there would have been signs that this was not a great experience for you. But my intuition led me to what I needed to experience to make my choice to lead me to my manifestation. It was all intuition and coming from that soul perspective, my soul wasn't scared of that. It was, we need to do this to work through some stuff. Let's be the Fool in the tarot. Let's dive in. Let's take a leap of faith. Let's know that nothing can really hurt us if we are in our power. And so I came to Edinburgh with that mindset, and it was like, I don't have a fixed expectation. I was in no way looking for a life partner or husband. I dropped my intention into the wishing well but it certainly wasn't high on my list of priorities. And that's why I feel I manifested this quite quickly because I didn't have a whole story around it. I wasn't thinking, ohmygod there's a piece missing here unless there's a husband. That was not my thinking at all. It was playfulness. And like I said, he looks hot. That's enough. And that is why I think it worked. Also because he's a muggle. That helps. The contrast helps for me enormously. And going back to the sailing thing that I put into my wishing well when I was talking to spirit. The first date was in a coffee shop. Second date was spending time together. And probably, was it like 10 days after we met, I went to a party which was his brother's and bride-to-be. It was an engagement party and we went obviously via car but then we went on a boat. Because he is an experienced sailor. So his family, they were brought up with that. He actually took his brother's boat to travel to the location of where this party was. So as part of that, for about 30 seconds, I actually handled the boat really badly, really, really badly. Like, what the hell are you doing? But, there we go. And it was just, I think the moral of the story is, when you are easy about these things, they can manifest more quickly. And it was because I wasn't there hunting for a husband. I was probably thinking, god, I don't want any kind of stress because I've just been through a stressful experience in this aspect of my life. But I was also expecting things to be easy. And in some way, I didn't have expectation either way. When I said, yeah, let's spend time in a boat, that was so easy that there was no resistance. There was no block. And then it appeared in my experience. And that's the key to it. And I think that when it comes to big visions, big visions can be a career dream, it can be a relocation or it can be a passion project. But that there is a way you have to feel easy about it so that the manifestation has less resistance to work with. That is hard sometimes when we lasso, like the cowboy, we're lassoing to a big outcome straight away. And what I would say, if anybody is trying to play with manifesting, because it is like play. The most joyful aspects, ohmygod the Universe is talking back to me. That's my favourite part. It's not like, okay, well, I've got a partner now. Or I'm living here now. That's not what it's about for me. It was about the journey. It was about, I am living in a co-creative universe and it is a delight and it's making me laugh and I'm kind of in awe because all these signs and synchronicities are talking back to me. That is the buzz for me. You are right in as much as, I could have created these experiences in an entirely different city. But somewhere, intuition whatever, prompted me from my early 20s and came back in again and said, Will it be Scotland or in other words, before you came to this life, you set forth some intentions about what you want to have and enjoy, and what you wanted that to feel like. Spirit's feedback is, "that looks Scotland-shaped" or "you could easily experience these sensations in Scotland". It could happen in other cities and with all due respect to my partner, my lovely partner, it could happen with other people, but that... the prompts were, "this looks Scotland-shaped to us" or "it's kind of Edinburgh-shaped". Feelings that you want to experience and the vibration, if you like. It is very much in the shape of this person or ___. So that was the prompt, if that makes sense. It's all about feelings, and I've stopped looking for physical evidence as knowing that manifesting works in this machine-like way. When I first explored the idea of manifesting and magic and creating something, a lot of that came through my exploring in my teens of Wicca, witchcraft magic, which is still a big part of me, an earthly spirituality, a big part of me. There was a lot of literature I read at the time which was like recipe books and it was like, for this outcome, you'll need a certain coloured candle and do it this moon phase and it was all about paraphernalia and it wasn't telling me what I needed to do in my own energy to create that experience. Some of what I read, and of course, this is not a comment on Wicca and witchcraft as a whole. Of course not. I'm sure we've all read those books where it is about manipulating some way, and there's some secret and it's about finding this gemstone and this herb and then you'll get this outcome. Whereas for me, whether you want a guy, a car, or a house, or a relocation, you're wanting a set of feelings and feeling experiences and the Universe knows how to fill in the gaps and deliver that to you. When someone says, I want to feel this way in my love life, it might not be their most current or problematic partner who's going to be able to give them that experience. So there is that openness to, okay, if I just keep open, and know that the Universe has heard my intention, then it will try to fill in the blanks. I mean, in all my time as a reader, makes me sound 108, but in all my time as a reader, I've never heard Spirit say, you can have this, I mean, to the client, you can have this but you can't have that. Or people ask about time frame and it's kind of like, you can manifest this in three months but you can't manifest this in three days. I've never heard that. And I've also never heard Spirit talk in a cautionary way, going back to that topic of caution, you should do this or you can't have that or that's not possible. They're not interested in doing that. They're interested, I think, in helping us to connect with our self worth and the reality that we are powerful creators and we are here to create and manifest and that should be playful and it should be joyful. And then to help us work through any blocks, mindset blocks, energy blocks, whatever that's preventing that from happening more ___. That's it. That's what it's all about. Slade: So tell us a little bit about how this wisdom impacts the work that you do right now. Talk to me. Because I know as I'm listening to it, I'm thinking, well what would he have to say about this experience that I have going on over here. So I know there's a lot of other people listening thinking, Ooo, I would love to get his input on what I'm trying to manifest. So tell us a little bit about how you work. David: So the manifesting approach is obviously a passion of mine. It came from not necessarily enjoying certain books although I do, and resources from other teachers on this subject. My first awareness of whether we call it the Law of Attraction or manifesting or conscious creation, was from being a teenager and giving readings and working with... Or it was not being able to work with the premises that people... I mean ideas people have around what readings were. So somebody was saying to me, what is my fate? I'm kind of thinking, I don't know whether I can see that. Why can't I see that? And that's not how it looks to me. And I've realized after reading energy and looking at what was going on with people's lives, I wanted to help them with their relationship to that, and their own empowerment. And to let them know that part of the process. Because the common questions... I know we've got choices about how we present our work if we are intuitives. A lot of the questions were, what is going to happen to me and what is in the stars? And I was thinking, I don't know whether I can read it this way. And I don't work in that way now obviously. But it was, there's something else going on here where, if I can tune that person back in their power, that they can create this outcome and then they don't need a forecast. So that was my first kind of lightbulb moment. I feel that I can hear what your intuition would tell you if you could hear it and you didn't have to worry about or you weren't worrying about your shopping list and you haven't just had a really triggering argument with your boss. Or your conditioning from childhood wasn't making you freak out right now because that is the experience for most of us. We're kind of carrying that. And so what I feel I do is I cut through that. One way to frame it is, okay, Spirit Guides, or your Spirit Guides, are giving me this information and that is one way to interpret what's going on within a reading. But I actually think, no this is what the client would do if they weren't inhibited by the things that so many of us are going through life. So if I could turn down the volume on your negative self talk, and let's identify and work through this conditioning that you have gathered in your life. You would see your own worth more clearly and you would see your own ability to create your outcome more clearly. And so the way that I work is, where are you in relation to what you are trying to manifest. Slade: Tell us where we can go to find you online if we want to get a reading with you. David: So you can find me on Facebook. The website is still in development, but on Facebook it is Intuitive Icons with David Thomas Wright, my brand name, and all the information is there. But you can drop me a line via Facebook page and we can get a conversation going. Any questions you might have, you can ask. I also have a Facebook group, which is The Maverick Manifesting group with David Thomas Wright. The url for that would be https://www.facebook.com/groups/dtwcommunity/ Slade: Awesome. This was a great conversation, David. Thank you for coming on and talking to me. David: Thank you! Thanks for having me.

Åsa Poeche is a metaphysicist, witch, and shamanic practitioner. She’s an intuitive who loves mentoring people to help them achieve their goals or to help them get through struggles in life. She believes that a solid spiritual practice can very much be integrated with your personal and professional life. She uses her client’s own belief system to form the basis of the work while using her own tools, ritual and experiences to supplement. She agreed to let me record and share our first investigatory session together regarding the Love Curse I talked about in an earlier episode. Listen to Love Curse: Part 1 GUEST LINKS - ÅSA POECHE asapoeche.com HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSON Slade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition FACEBOOK GROUP Shift Your Spirits Community BECOME A PATRON https://www.patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT Asa: Okay, so I'm just going to go through at a high level with you what's happened, so for everyone to know what's going on. I received a recording from you about a week ago, almost exactly a week ago, and I listened to that the same day. So I took some notes and it's given me a basic idea of what's going on. In a normal session, I would probably have a really small outline of what the client's problem is and we agree to have a session. And we sit and we talk through the whole thing in one conversation. And as we talk through the whole thing in that conversation, I start getting an idea of what needs to happen in the session. And then maybe what we need to do going forward for both myself and the client. In this session though, like I said, I've listened to all of your story and it's so much detail in there. When I sat and listened to it, I took a lot of notes, and a lot of the notes that I take are about phrases that you're using, the way you're talking about things, probably a little bit about the emotion that's in there too but mostly the phrases because, I know you understand this quite well, if I want to talk to you about something, I don't want to introduce a different way of talking about it because then we have to do the translation thing. So if I can use words that you're using already, that's much easier for me to get you to understand what we're talking about, if I want to help you work through something, right? So a lot of notes on that and a lot on how you structured this and how this panned out in the last 28 years. So a bit of a timeline. And then when I did that, we agreed afterwards to do this session and have this discussion today. So you're coming in a little bit more blind than I am to be honest, I think. Because I have the backstory. Have you got any questions so far? Slade: No. No, I'm loving it. Let me just tell you this. I want to put this out there for you. I stress feedback so much when I am working with intuitives, and I encourage people who are learning to get a lot of that kind of feedback and everything. But I just have to say, I'm really terrible at giving emotional responses in the moment and so, I don't know that I won't, but I can see me just processing and taking a lot of stuff in. So my being quiet sometimes is process. You may get another episode out of me where I'm like, "Okay, now I've simmered on all this." And I also really want to hear what you have to say about it. And I want to preface this, I think I did a pretty good job when I recorded... No I didn't... Did I? I talked about the fact that you had answered this question in the community and I wanted, I didn't want to lock us into necessarily doing the session and releasing all that, so I left it a little light. But the reality is, when I saw your response, it hit me like it was a revelation. I thought, oh shit, you know, in a good way and in a bad way simultaneously. But I knew, well wait a minute, what would she have to say about my story? Asa: And this is really interesting for me. When you said that, I went, ohh! Because I remember answering that question and it was a shamanism question. It was in a shaminism thread I think or something, and I put that witch thing in. I hit the button and I'm going, okay, stay on topic, because now you've involved the witch thing too and that was shamanism. I was actually mad at myself because, I thought, oh I'm just leaving it because it's stupid. Right? And then all of a sudden you come and say something to me and I'm like, ohmygod, that's why I went witch curse thing because it was almost like that was for you. Slade: Yes! Asa: And I thought, okay. And it's interesting how that happens because like I said, I'm in the shaminism space most the time in Shift Your Spirits but I am probably more of a witch than a shaman to be honest with you. But I try to kind of stay in that kind of field mostly in there because there are so many other witches in there and we don't want to have too many differing opinions arguing with each other either. But yeah, that was very interesting from my own view. What you were saying just then about how you won't have any emotional responses. Normally when I start and I agree to do a session with someone, I'll start getting pictures and I've got power animals coming in and it's like I'm doing okay. So this week I've had nothing, and I'm like, uh.. okay. There's no messages, there's no kind of imagery, nothing. So it's very, very quiet. There's no noise and I'm going, okay so what I'm dealing with is someone then who will process it probably after. And then also, you probably have a lot of background work done already. So really I don't have to get a picture to help you too much with this one. That's already sitting in there and it's kind of ready to go I think. This morning, actually, I was just waking up. That's the only time when I started getting some imagery coming in and I was ready to go now. And that would've been a couple of hours before. That was about 7:00 in the morning or so. So it was very interesting for me in that sense and I was very, very focused, and that makes sense with you. There's not a lot of going off on a tangent. This is what we're here for today and this is what we're dealing with. With a lot of clients, I have problems kind of saying, "We're focusing on this now. Don't worry about the chicken in the corner there. Look at this one here." It's been an interesting week in that sense. It's been very, very quiet and it's fine. And that's a good thing for me as well. One of the other things that we've really got working for us in this session too is we share a common language in witchcraft. So I try to speak to a language the client understands like I said. So if I'm treating someone whose got a Christian worldview, I will probably use that terminology because it just helps, you know? What I'm going to do - I'm going to describe this story like I got it, very briefly, and you used the witchcraft stuff. We talk about cursing and stuff and spells. You also had some psychology in there, so Maslow's hierarchy. I love it actually because it's quite interesting. But I'm also going to include some shaminism stuff because if we do go to air with this one, a lot of people are interested in this as well, so I'm just gonna give that perspective as well. You're okay with all of that? Slade: Yeah. I mean, the one thing that we have in common, that all the people that are attracted to our tribe, is the eclecticism. It's like we all just have all this stuff and I think that the diversity is what we have in common, which, it's a weird contradiction. I'm actually the one person who loves it if you mix metaphors and bring in a bunch of different symbols and, you know, I'll keep up. Asa: Yeah. So we know the sorcerer who cast this curse on you because it's you, right? It's really good. You don't have to sort of try to understand how these happened, because we know the whole mechination/machination (7:59) of this... And we also know that you're willing to dissolve this. You really want to do the work now. You're not afraid to go in there and do it. So that's also really fantastic. I'm just going to ruffle my papers a bit. So when you were 22, you cast a spell to protect yourself, to protect something that was very, very valuable to you. And you didn't want that to be threatened again. So you said, "This will NEVER happen to me again." And the feeling emotion was, as you said, an anger that was so strong that it made you cry, basically. And you were mad and hurt and wounded that you had been made to make a choice. And then you reinforced that with a mantra that you kept on using. I think that's correct, right? Slade: Umhmm. Asa: Yeah. And you said, basically, please let me have that gift. And I'll give away everything else, but I want THAT. And that's a bargain that you're striking, right? So you made the bargain, you cast the spell, and you said that you lost your creativity a little bit through your 20s. So it wasn't until you were 29 when you met Seth that that kind of, the writing came back again. Yeah? Slade: Yes. That is correct. Asa: And this is interesting for me because you mention Maslow's hierarchy, and I don't like to prove Maslow right, but you said, and I've had these thoughts myself as well, when you think you've skipped a step, right? So the belongingness and the love needs, you're going, I feel like I've skipped that step. Seth is probably one of those people, he's provided that fraternal love, you know? And you actually cast a spell to say, I want to keep that. I want to keep that belongingness and that love from him because I know that's going to sustain me. So you've had that piece, in a way. And you've even sort of gone, I NEED to keep that. I need to have it in my life to be able to do this. And that kind of makes it interesting too because you've actually gone and kind of counteracted your own curse a little bit, about 10 years later after this and said, "This is what I want to happen." And you said you came to being 39 and that's when it really took off, the writing, and now 10 years later you've gone and "I want the whole package. I want everything now." It's probably because you've showed up, your gift is pretty strong now. You have an audience. You have an outlet. And this is very much a part of you. We feel like you can let that in. Apart from the stars being aligned, of course, in the right way as well. We're ready to do the work now. So, knowing that, I would like to know how you feel about knowing that you've kind of already started rolling it back a little bit? Slade: You know what? That actually feels like a huge relief, and when you said, "Seth represents the fraternal layer of Maslow's pyramid", I thought, ohmygosh, he did! Like, I sort of, I didn't entirely skip that step after all. So that was an epiphany for me right here, like 30 seconds ago, I'm thinking, oh, you're right! I didn't skip it because I got a new kind of love with him that was really more important than some of the brittleness that goes along with romantic love. You know what I mean? There's some heavier love that exists on that platform in that pyramid altogether, as a group. And it didn't occur to me, like, oh! You got one of the really big ones. So that's interesting. Asa: And it's a really important one because I think, that's probably one of those loves that are more stable, that you can trust that they will generally be there for life maybe even, because you have a very strong bond in that, it's more of a brotherly love I guess. And you two seem to be very close anyway and neither of you want to let go of each other so at least that bond there is strong and safe. I think when I look at where you want to end up, and hopefully he's listening out there now, we should be really nice, this will be a person that totally says, that gift that you have, that you protect, that might be one of the things that attracts him to you. That might be one of the things that he would like to protect too. So if you think about it like that, it's probably not as threatening anymore. The person that you're going to attract now is not going to be jealous of your gift. They're going to be older. They're going to be more mature. And they're going to be probably saying, I really like this about Slade. His creativity and his writing and all this stuff he's doing. Because it's so much part of who you are now. Whereas when you were 22, you were still forming that personality. You know you wanted that in your life but you probably didn't know exactly what it was going to look like. You're probably able to structure your life better now. To say, "Okay, this is my writing time and this is my personal time and this is my... you know. So you don't have to spend as much time protecting that territory because it will probably be part of the life you'll have with this person. Slade: Mmm... Asa: Yeah? Slade: Nice. Asa: Does that make sense? Slade: Yeah. Asa: So the mantra that you used, you remember that, right? You remember what that was. Slade: Oh god, yeah. Asa: Okay. I'm not going to ask you to say what it is. But have a think of what the counteract to that is. Because we probably want to have a mantra now too that we go and say, this is what we're dissolving this with. We're dissolving this. We're making space for this person. I want to let this peace in. Because as we do that, we have obviously, you disassociated, basically if you made that happen that day in the shower, you sent a piece of yourself away. And it's an interesting thing from a shamanic perspective. If we have soul loss, normally it happens through trauma. We're unaware of it most of the time. It might be like 30 years later we come across a shaman and go, you've got soul loss, and we don't know how it happened. We know we've had an accident but we don't know exactly how that sped away or how much of it. But you know exactly what piece you sent away. It's a conscious process and you've gone through and said, "No. That's not.. I'm not gonna let that lead me astray. Because my gifts, my writing, is so important to me that that part I'll give up. I'll give up love for this." It makes it easier to countersay, you know, we know exactly what we're looking for. We know exactly when it was sent away. We know exactly how much time we've spent keeping it away. And we also know we let part of it back in again. So there's a little part in this romantic love thing that we're looking for now. And there is a piece, right? I don't think, from my perspective, what I saw this morning, I don't think I'll have to go and get it for you. I think we need to do some work around getting you to sort of lure it back, letting it back into your life again, because if I look at what you're saying, I don't think you've done the prep work for it yet because you haven't been ready. So now we're going to do the work of saying, okay, you know what? I'm going to get used to the thought of my gifts being safe and secure, and me being able to let another person into my space. And it's not going to be a threat. Because I know I can protect it. Right? Does that make sense? Slade: Yes. Asa: So the question for you then is, what do you feel needs to happen for you to get the love space? Slade: Oh.... God that's a good question. Well, I mean, part of it's a choice, right? Part of it is just a decision. I mean, I'm kind of that person that really has no problem believing that I'm pushing all the buttons because I prefer to have it that way. But, you know, it's a dance between me choosing it and also seeing something that I can trust reflected back, you know what I mean? I think that there's a part of me... I'm very, very willing to choose to let that back in. But I think until I see that... Maybe it is the person. Maybe it is a person. Until I see that person in the flesh and I experience it, and I know, I think then I'll exhale. Does that make sense? It's like there's a part of me that's going to be holding my breath. I want to say that some of the things that I mentioned about Deena reading my chart for me, some of the things that came up working with her, which has been in a way a little bit of a preparation, was that I was getting messages through people over the last 9 months or so, I've been attracting people who have these little bits and pieces of evidence. They're not the person, but it's like they're like showing me things that I probably didn't really think existed in people. Asa: Yeah. Slade: So that has softened me up and made me go, Oh, well wait a minute! It's enough that it feels like a message to me. Asa: Yeah. And I think that, from my point of view, it's almost like, and I'm going to use, for lack of a better term, the Universe is serving you up examples, right? And you get this very, I like that, not so much that one, but that one there... Oh! Never knew people could be like that. So it opens the possibility of kind of assembling this picture of what you want and how they make you feel. You go, I like how that person made me feel. But how they treated me and what they said to me and what they liked about me and how they responded to me. And that kind of opens the possibility a little bit more. You're going, okay, now I can see that I can actually want these things because they do exist. Right? Slade: Yes. Asa: And it's kind of like you, but you have to be open enough to see that, because, you know, you can drive past 15 restaurants and say, "There's no Vietnamese restaurants in this neighbourhood," and you've just passed 3 because you're not looking. You're looking at something else and you're being angry about something or you're being worried about something, right? So you close down. You've already started kind of going shopping a little bit. Window shopping. And going, okay, what's actually out there? So you're looking more out now than you're looking in. And saying, okay, now i'm going to have a look outside. And it feels like people are coming at you kind of like all of a sudden you’re being presented with these things but you're actually looking. You're actually paying attention. You're starting to notice these things and the more it happens the more it starts. You're going, Ooo, ahh, okay... I see! And, I think, yeah, with you having a presence out there where your work is getting recognition as well, on start, the person you're going to meet is going to have some sort of idea. And even if they don't, that's so much part of your personality now that it's going to come up very quickly, right? You're not going to tolerate anybody who's got a problem with it. Your main focus is, you know what? I am stable in my life and I'm adding this. It's like gravy on my potatoes. I've got my potatoes. I'm going to put gravy on them now. That's going to be good gravy. I want good gravy, right? That makes it easier because you can kind of turn around and work with yourself and say, you know what? I trust myself now. I trust myself to be able to say, You know what? I can put the brakes on if it doesn't feel right. I know when to stop. I know I have my boundaries. I know that this is my thing that I do that I'm not going to give up. This person has to be willing to be part of it. And I almost get a feeling, I hate doing this to be honest, but I'm going to say it. I almost get a feeling that the person coming will be very supportive of this. This will be something they treasure too, right? And this is what you want. You want someone that says, "I really like this about Slade. I'm fascinated by it. I might not be involved in it but this is something I treasure too. Because he treasures it. That's important to me because it's important to Slade." And that's kind of what you want too. Slade: Yeah, I don't need a fan. I don't need anybody to be so involved with it that they feel that they have to consume all of it. I think that's an interesting thing that comes up a lot is, sometimes you attract people who are attracted to the work persona, so I almost trust it more if it's someone who is like, "Oh, that's really cool that you do that. It's not really like my thing, but I think it's awesome that you do it." And end of story. Which, interestingly, is how my family is. There's a kind of weird, like, super amount of support and they're not necessarily paying a lot of attention to it. Asa: Yeah. If you look at it from the point of view of saying, I’m been in engineering most of my working life, in my family, we go, yeah that's alright, but they don't want to talk about it all day, right? Yeah, you do this and we do this. It's really good that you're successful with it and you're doing well and you're enjoying it. But that's what it is. It's a job. Slade: One of the biggest turnoffs to me is when somebody that I'm kind of interested in going for a coffee with, or a date, or whatever, comes at me with the offer to have a really deep philosophical conversation. Asa: No, no, no, no, stop! Slade: Please don't make me do that! Not on my off time! Asa: It's not work! Yeah, I know, and you want that kind of thing where the both of you have a life and then you grow and then you grow this thing that you have together with the relationship. That's a nice kind of.... And I think both of you and I are at that age now that we can understand that you have to have yourself. And then you make this relationship together with someone else. That's the kind of sweet spot that you want. Where are you at now with thinking about how easy it's going to be for you to kind of stop thinking that you're not cursed? Slade: Well, you know I said I probably would process a lot of things not in the moment. And that's not true. I'm actually kind of jotting down notes of things that are almost kind of epiphanies as you say them. It was funny because there was a realization I had at some point in this conversation, I made the note that when I was with Richard who was my first person in the story, I actually had a situation happen with him where I had developed a kind of physical violence as a way of defending myself as a child and as a teenager, and I got through high school by being very wiling to fight anybody that tried to victimize me in any way. And I remember being in a horrible fight with Richard and him saying to me, "You don't have to go there anymore." I was still in this mode, this teen warrior mode, there was a part of me that was always on a school bus ready to take on a bully. I carry that all the way up until my early 20s and I was doing that in my relationship with him. And I remember him saying, "You don't have to do that anymore. It's just not necessary." And as you were talking, kind of even about the Seth thing, realizing like, oh, the Maslow thing that I thought I was missing, I really wasn't missing. I actually had a piece of that. And I realized when you said being able to release the curse, and believe that you don't have to live like that anymore. I flashed back to that relationship with Richard when he told me that. What a huge revelation it was in that moment to realize like oh, I'm in this super aggressive mode that's just not required anymore and I let it go. So in answering the question, where am I in feeling like I can kind of let this go and everything, I think one of the things that I most was interested in talking to you about, because we always need someone outside our own head to look at the situation, and that's really what you're doing. There's always this fear that there's something that I'm missing. Now you've already told me a couple of things that I felt like, Oh, I was missing that. So I think one of my biggest questions is, what am I not seeing? What am I beating myself up about that I need to stop? What am I being stubborn about? What am I being really melodramatic about? I feel like the whole thing is really melodramatic. I am trusting you to tell me that kind of truth, you know? Like what do you see me doing, because you've known me for years, you know my work, you know we're friends, we message each other a lot, so you are in a good position to recognize this as a thread within my personality. Maybe you see evidence in other ways that I handle myself. So I'm here in a very raw and vulnerable way, saying, What am I missing here? Asa: I think, and I'm the kind of person who, I like to get everything out on the table and I'll pick the pieces that I can do something with, and you're an interesting person because you have pieces that you've put out in front of me and then there's pieces where I'm going, Oh, there's more, there's more. And I'm going, he's not quite ready to either see them himself or let me know about them yet. This is what I’m saying, I’m thinking — We're having a conversation now and then you're probably going to go away to process and then you go, okay I'm going to get rid of these pieces now. And that's really cool. That's okay because we don't go through this in a session basically. We just, it wouldn't be feasible I mean, we've probably spoken for half an hour or so now and we've gotten quite far, right? We've had a few points where you went, Ah, okay, I see this now. Which means that you as a storyteller, you'll start re-telling your stories slightly differently. So we're going back, if you want to be kind of melodramatic about it, we're going back to the past and we're going, okay, I'm seeing now things that I've done to kind of start undoing this. Seeing how things weren't quite the way I thought they were, and I'm wasn't quite as doomed with this curse as I may have thought, because there's things that have happened that I've shown myself that I'm actually capable of starting to unravel this as well. There's something still that's kept you in that space. You're going, I'm not quite ready to trust this yet. And that's the piece that we probably, it's probably going to take a little bit more, to say, okay, what is it down there that still makes you go, "I'm not quite sure yet. I'm seeing all these opportunities but I'm not quite ready to step over to the other side and go, I'm free! I'm ready to do this." Almost 30 years ago, 3 decades. It's a long, long time. It's a really, really long time. And the work that I'd like to see happen now is, we sure have to decide where the stuff that's in your consciousness, that you can literally go, okay, I got it, I understand that I have partially let love back in. I did that at 29, so ease the pressure there, took the foot off the brakes a little bit. And then whatever else is happening and you really, you realize your dream. You have realized your dream of using your gift and it becoming very much a part of who you are. So you can go, Ooo! Don't need to protect that as much. It can protect itself now. It's grown up. It's a grown up now. Slade: Yeah. Asa: It's not a baby that I have to defend. It's not a kitten that I found somewhere I have to defend. It's a really good thing that's happening. It's kind of getting your head around them, saying, that's not part of my truth. My truth is this. And then kind of extending that, if that makes sense. So, yeah. Slade: So is the shoot-the-moon thing my new mantra? Asa: If you want it to be! Now this has got to work for you, right? But it's also the picture you get with shoot-the-moon, I mean, what does that mean? Does it mean I can have it all, I can live, you know what? I'm gonna swear now. I earned that shit. I have earned that shit, right? I can have it, and I don't have to pay any dues to have all that. Literally. I worked my ass off to get to where I am today. And now I want. I want the extra bit. I want that and it's gonna be good because I'm not taking half-baked, right? I want that good part. And I deserve that. I can have that. There are so many cliches saying you deserve that, but you know, literally, you DO, right? You deserve to have that in your life. You can have it, you know? There's nothing, and I hate to say this, but nothing's stopping you but literally there isn't anything except for ourselves. Our minds put limitations on things all the time. And we can look at people, I'm going to mention Trump, who's got no limitations, he just goes, "I'm just going to have it all," and you sit there and be like, how can you even be like that? But he's kind of the opposite end of the scale, where he thinks he deserves everything, you know? I am the best. I'm going, give me some of what he's got, because I need that in my life because I could literally stretch myself a bit and understand that I don't need to limit myself out of fear so much again. And you have very little to fear in my mind, right? Except for the story that you tell yourself. Slade: Yeah. And you mentioned something at the beginning of the conversation that I do when I'm doing assessments for people working with their intuition or intuitive development. I do an assessment and the assessment is very much a, it's not even about the symbolism. It's about the words that they use when they're describing the symbolism that reveal subtext. So I was wondering if there's anything, you said you know when you were listening to the story that you noticed certain phrases and things that I said. Was there anything that stuck out to you that was telling about the way that I spoke about it? Asa: Yeah. It's very heavy on the defense, right? I'm under threat. Survival words are used and there's incredibly strong emotion in the beginning. There's anger that makes you cry. It's not even rage. It's that, I am really hurt. I am so hurt and I can't believe that this person made.. I'm so hurt that he attacked the one thing that I treasure the most. You know what it is? It's a rejection of you, right? He's taken the thing that was most precious to you and rejected it. I don't want that. I don't like it. I hate it. You need to stop it. So this is an attack on YOU. Like, literally. Go stab you in the heart, right, because it's Slade's baby that he's trying to kill. And it's very much a survival threat to me. If you lost that part at that age, if you had to give it away, your life would have been incredibly different. If you'd said, Okay, no, I'm gonna give that away for Richard, you would have given up your whole life. You would've a hunk of it. Slade: Ugh. Gross. Asa: Right? I couldn't count on him in the way I could count on myself. Slade: Yeah. Asa: And you are a person who relies very, very much on yourself. Slade: Umhmm. Asa: And I see sometimes, please don't take this the wrong way, I see sometimes you have almost literally hard time reaching out saying to people, "You know what? Take care of that for me." Slade: Yeah. Asa: As much as, you've got us girls in the Shift Your Spirits community to help you out there, the High Priestesses, as you like to call us. But at the same time, I can sometimes tell it's like you find it a little bit hard to let go of the reins. When I look, I'm going, this is perfect because that's like a training ground for you to say, I can actually step back, and go, It's probably going to be okay. Slade: Yes! Asa: Yeah. This kind of understanding that you are literally sitting in a space now where you've got it really good. You've taken such good care of Slade, right? And you've set him up in a space where he really likes to be. He gets to write. He gets to do his business. He gets to run his own days. He can plan his own life. He can do a little bit of extra things like travel and stuff, so you've taken really good care of yourself. But it's letting someone else in to that space now, because you're going, I don't want you to mess with that space. This is my space. I've made it really good. And I have a similar problem for myself, to be honest with you. I do the same thing, right? I'm going, I made my space. I don't want someone to come in with dirty, muddy shoes to walk through it, right? But we probably have to expect people to, to some extent, mess up our space a little bit. And learning to be okay with that. And learning to be okay with the fact that they don't fully understand our space, and you know, if we're lucky, we'll come together and we'll learn about each other's space and we'll create a better space out of that. Because we'll learn from them and learn from us. But it's really tricky to get past that hurdle, going, I'm really comfortable in my bubble. I feel really secure, and understanding that I'm not threatened. Does that make sense? Slade: Umhmm. Well and you identified something that's been a real theme for me within the past year or so, which was really in the last 2 years, was going from this sort of one-man band, this solo episode where I control everything, you know, not episode, sort of machinery, where I don't have to rely on anybody else. But I can also be a complete slave driver to myself if I choose, you know? In a way that I could never be to anyone else. I can only do that to me. Asa: Yeah. Slade: There's a lot of hesitation, not even in letting other people help me, but in fear of like, what a tyrant I can be if I went in the other direction. Like Trump, you know? There has been this theme of collaboration and community, and the platform going from being about me to being about all the other people who come on this show. It's sharing the stage, and also sharing the space with the people who are listening and participating. And hosting without having a party of 1. It's like, it's not me watching Netflix with the cats. It's me allowing there to be a keg party in the backyard. So that is definitely, like you said, having you guys that are my social media moderators and administrators, has put me back in a situation where I'm practicing being a manager of other people but, you know, in the context of letting other people's gifts work for me. I mean, the reason why I chose you guys, is because you can do all these things without me having to tell you how to do it. Because I trust you guys and you're all smart and capable in your own way. Sometimes I'm just constantly having to remind myself that, like, it's okay to let everyone else do what they do. So that's been something that is opening up for me. I wanted to say just for your own personal feedback, I've got a double Scorpio wrapped around this Leo, so when you start to, when you feel like there's something he's not telling me, of course there is, you know? I've got like a secret bat girl wall with a button with that cat suit hiding somewhere. And I definitely see that as kind of being part of my persona and all the astrology in the world tells me about the secrets that I keep, and my relationship with my shadow, and all that kind of stuff. So some of that may be kind of private or whatever, but I wanted to kind of end the conversation today, and you and I will continue with this conversation, because like you said, I'm going to go sleep on it, process, and, oh man! And I'll share that with you and with everyone that I can, but for the people who are listening, I wanted you to know that I put out such a personal episode, to the point that I thought, is this really so indulgent that nobody else is going to be able to relate to it? I got such overwhelming feedback from people writing and telling me what their version of this felt like, and realizing, ohmygod, I've done this to myself too, in different aspects of their lives, so it was really cool. So in speaking to them, and a lot of them I kind of wrote behind the scenes and I said, "Stay tuned! I have something coming." And I think you would find, if you work with some of these people and you may, because they may contact you and be like, "Ooo I want to have this conversation", that they all come with a self awareness and a capability and a bag of tricks and all this stuff too. And so, as you were talking, I was kind of making some notes about what this process is about, because I think that I believe at the root of it all, that if we put a curse on ourselves, we can certainly reverse it ourselves. So I think some of the things that I noticed, to kind of put out there for others who are thinking, how can I process this for myself, there was the idea of where it came from, obviously, what is the language around this curse? Who did it? Who is the source? And it's probably themselves. The idea of having a sort of reverse mantra, some other kind of language just to start to reinforce, this is a framing exercise, right? Asa: Yeah. Slade: The idea of the soul loss, when that happened, what the events were surrounding that, and then this idea of prep work around what you're missing, when did this happen, what kind of language are you using around it? Maybe even take the time to do what I did, which is to write your story out as if you're going to send it, and look for those words. You know, what emotions are in your story? What story are you really telling here? So I think it could be really helpful for people to look at some of those components for themselves, and they may have some revelations of their own. But it also would be very helpful, if they're going to do a session with you or someone who does this kind of work, to have some of those answers ready. Asa: Yeah. I'll shortcut the process a little bit too, but I have to say, most people are not as easy as you are. You're very self-aware and I think you understand, with language for instance, when I looked at, I've probably got about 6 pages of language that you were using and phrases, and I'm going, this is all survival mode, right? It's all about, I am so threatened, you know? I'm just gonna defend myself and I'm out there. And it makes sense now what you said about like in your teens you were ready to fight all the time. And that kind of kicked back in a little bit. And it might have been physical but all of a sudden, you are in a very high state of alert and it had to be protected at all costs. There was like no other way here. I have to protect this at ALL costs. I have to chop bits of myself off. Those bits can't be trusted so they need to go away. If I look at it this way, going forward probably what I would say is, I might turn around and say to you, I would like to do a soul retrieval for you eventually. If it doesn't spontaneously come back — it’s a pretty big part — but I think we can do the groundwork first. It always helps before you do that kind of thing, right? And also doing their reversal mantra will fortify the base that we're having here. So that when that comes back, it'll be... And also another thing is, that's the 22 year old part of you. That kind of needs to mature as well. That's a part of you that hasn't had a lot of attention. So it's working through that as well. Sometimes it happens quickly and sometimes people have enormous problems. We're kind of getting that part of it back in again because it's not functioning at the same level as you are. That's another thing as well. You're saying people can do the work. I was recommended to talk to someone because it is, like you say, people see things that you don't see. They hear you say things that you might not hear because you're so used to going over it in your head. And finding those patterns for you and saying, "Okay, this is where I see the work happening." It's funny what you were saying, the double Scorpio, I have very few clients where I'm going... It's not a wall but I'm going, there are secrets here. And I can push around and go, okay, I want to know what's behind that, but that's a bit rude. And I'm going, we had that discussion before because I said to you, "Do you want to know everything? And do I have permission to do this?" So literally you've given me permission to do it but it's not useful for me to come back at you and go, this, this and this. Because you'll be going, "Uh oh. Now I feel threatened again." So I don't want you to retreat back there. And it might not be things so useful for me to know anyway because those are your secrets, right? They're there for a reason. You want to be mystical and stuff, that's okay! The stuff that's come out today, it's the beginning. It's a journey. We'll talk again about this for sure and see what's new. And you are the kind of person who'll go away and you'll mull this over. And then probably I'll get a message, "What about this?" And that's perfect for me because I'm going, okay, now I can see what's happening between, we chat for a bit and what's the next step after that as well. So yeah. Slade: Awesome. I thank you because I definitely have at least two pieces that I, like I'm writing notes by longhand on a piece of paper and I've got these little stars by these kind of 'aha' moments and I'm like, OH! Part of my brain is already running off, trying to unpack those and unravel them and go, wait a minute! But for anybody out there listening who might be interested having heard this, for this reason or for any other, you know, who really resonates with you, tell us where we can find who you are, where we can find you online, and how to get in touch with you. Asa: So I've got a website. I'm on Facebook obviously, Asa Kristina Poeche. I've also got a Page on Facebook that's Asa Poeche. A webpage that's AsaPoeche.com. My services that are offered there currently are a session called, I call them mentoring sessions, a one-on-one session, because I don't like to call them healing sessions. I tend to sit in the space where I coach people more and get them to kind of come to realization through a discussion that we have. And I hope that kind of came through in what we did here now. It's more effective if I get you to solve your problem rather than me trying to fix you. I think sometimes you have these, I call them Tony Robbins moments, where you go, "Ohmygod! That's fantastic!" And then two days later you're like, "I'm not feeling the momentum anymore. And that's an important thing too, I find. I think when we have a session like this, you go away more pumped and sometimes you just lose momentum. Anyway, going back to my stuff, I'll do a lot of shamanic work but I think at heart I would probably call myself a hedge witch, which means I sit in this space where I'm very much working in the other world, tapping into a lot of beings around people and getting messages. I've got decades of studying metaphysical stuff, about two decades in shaminism. Yeah. That was a really, really messed up explanation of what I do, but ... Slade: It was very authentic. Well, one of the things that I... I, just for the record, and you know this but for the rest of the audience, I've been wanting to have you on my show since I had a show. Obviously those of you who are in the Automatic Intuition community, who are strong in the Shift Your Spirits community, meaning you produce a lot of content and you do a lot of teaching in the group, you're an active participant, you're a moderator, a lot of people will recognize your material from there and the interesting thing is, I don't just want the show to be like, oh, here's another intuitive and they do sessions and they're going to tell us about their sessions and here they are. It's like there's an added bit of extra expectation for you guys. I want you guys especially to have a really special introduction to everyone, because if it's someone that I've never met before, I can ask them a lot of curious questions about who they are and what they do. It comes from a really genuine place. But in order for you and I to have a genuine conversation, if we need to do something like this, it needs to be extra juicy. I was so excited when I saw your post in the community where you answered that question and you use a little bit of that witchy language and you caught my eye. I thought, oh wait a minute! So the idea to do this whole two-episode so far conversation came to me in that moment and I was so excited that you were willing to do this with me. Because it's a real tightrope act for both of us. You know what I mean? Asa: It is. And this is my first podcast too I've recorded for. So it's a big thing, right? Slade: Ohmygosh, is it? Asa: Yeah. I usually don't like listening to myself at all. It's one of those things … Sometimes you'll have the conversation with someone and you bounce off each other really easily. And sometimes when you have a client, it's like, are they there? Slade: Yes. Asa: Are you alive? Slade: Yeaaah. Asa: You always kind of end up worrying a little bit about that as well. I suppose, also, I have to say is, I always say I don't like teaching but that's probably not true because I also mentor people. You probably have to nudge me to have a few conversations with me before I take you on as a student. But it's probably one of the things I find most rewarding actually, and it's mostly helping people grow. And I do these also in business and professional space where I coach and mentor people to integrate spirituality into their professional and business lives. Becaue I think we can do with a lot more of that in the work place as well, and there are a lot of people that really struggle in that corporate environment. How can I be more spiritual in that kind of environment? And it's possible, right? So that's another thing that I do as well. Slade: Well I'm going to close with a shoutout to Amy Oscar, who gave me the term 'illuminated conversations', and I think that both you and I love to work in that capacity, right? We want a participating client, we want a collaborator, and we want someone to have these really beautiful deep conversations. So thank you for having one of those with me around this. I will keep you posted about my epiphanies and we'll probably hear some follow up for everyone else who's listening. So, again, thanks for doing it. Asa: Thank you for having me on.

A fun introduction for all that is to come on BJ vs LG vs The World

Secrets of Great Second MealsBy Sara Dickerman Intro: Welcome to the Cookery by the Book podcast with Suzy Chase. She's just a home cook in New York City, sitting at her dining room table talking to cookbook authors. Sara: Hi, I'm Sara Dickerman and this is my latest cookbook, "Secrets of Great Second Meals". Suzy Chase: The last time we chatted was about the "Bon Appetit: Food Lover's Cleanse" cookbook that you wrote. And you even had lunch suggestions based on leftovers from the night before. So you've been a leftover supporter for years now. Talk a little bit about that.Sara: Well yes, the Bon Appetit plans, because there were menus for two weeks of healthy eating, I started thinking about how to make it a little more reasonable, since it was based on home cooking. And even though we all love to cook at home, some days it's just too busy and just really trying to cook every meal at home would be complicated. So I thought about using beautiful leftovers and then reframing them in a way that made them feel new and fresh. So in the case of the Bon Appetit book, it was thinking about a lot of those proteins in salad form, in delicious, crunchy salads. All sorts of textures and all sorts of flavors. And it just reminded me how much I love that part of cooking, the cyclical nature of cooking where one meal trails into the next. I think it's a really beautiful aspect of cooking that allows you to treat your ingredients with the most respect. Of course it allows you to save money because you're not wasting as much food. But there's just something very natural about letting one meal inform the next.Suzy Chase: You take uncommon delight in putting together memorable meals out of the morsels in your fridge. And it definitely comes through in this cookbook. Can you give us a brief history of the L word?Sara: Sure. Leftovers, as such, didn't really have an existence until people had refrigerators, in the sense of a problem of having too much food left around the house. In the past, people probably would've eaten the stew the next morning just to use it up. But when refrigerators started being popular in American culture, first, in the late 19th century, it was ice-based refrigerators and then electric refrigerators, this idea that you have this food that was around and you didn't quite finish it and you could keep it for a while became an issue. And so around that era, at the beginning of the 20th century, cookbooks started to come out dealing with this new thing called leftovers. At the same time, women were encouraged to be very thrifty. This was the heart of the home economics movement in America. So housewives were supposed to use their skills and ingenuity to keep the household finances in good shape and to be creative and use up every little scrap of food in the house. That grew through the beginning of the 20th century. And crowning achievements in the mid-century were like Jello molds with every kind of knickknack in them. And of course the era of casseroles with tinned soup and, yet last, leftover turkey in the casseroles. And of course, naturally, that kind of cooking wore down people's palates and it lost glamour as we moved into the second half of the 20th century. And people got very interesting in farmer's market and fresh foods and really connecting with foods and experimenting with foods from around the world. And that homey cooking I think felt less of the moment at that point. What has happened recently? Well we're all becoming much more aware of the impact of our eating on the environment. So people are thinking a lot about food wastage, which wastes not just our money, our household money, but wastes water and it's a larger carbon footprint. So there is an activist movement that I'd say really got traction in England first and then came here. And you'll see people like Dan Barber really encouraging chef and home cooks alike to think about how much food gets wasted in our environment. There's an estimate that it's about 40% of food gets wasted in the United States. So it's a huge amount. And so I just combined that concern in my book with also the pleasure of creativity. And part of the joy of cooking in the kitchen can be, "Oh, I'm wasting a little bit less food but I'm also having fun thinking about this new environment for whatever I have around the refrigerator." It can make it really fun and a pleasing part of your cooking life.Suzy Chase: In terms of food waste, we're all thinking about food waste these days but no one really talks about this way of thinking and cooking and how it's really budget friendly too. And you mention that in the cookbook. Sara: It is. You need to know what you'll use. And if you can cook a few dishes that you know you'll enjoy and, if you have a family, your family will enjoy, and kind of cook a little more at the beginning of the week. Maybe you cook it kind of simply. Then you can reframe it and it takes a little less time the second time around because you've already cooked whatever that main ingredient is. And then it's also you're conscientiously thinking about different ways to frame your food, and so you have more fun and you're more likely to maybe eat at home instead of ordering takeout. And that also saves money of course. Suzy Chase: It's so expensive. Especially in New York City, you get all these extra charges, the delivery changes. So a family of three, you can easily rack up a $50 bill just getting Chinese food. It's crazy.Sara: Right. I never want to sound scoldy. I get bored very easily. I'm not the kind of person who can eat exactly the same meal days after days in a row. So that's where the fun and the creativity and the transformation comes to play, so that that simple roast chicken you had one day might become a chicken salad like on the cover of the book that has a wonderful ginger soy dressing. Or it might become enchiladas or it might become a Greek style lemon soup. It could go in any of those directions. And that allows for a little bit of spontaneity even if you're trying to be thoughtful.Suzy Chase: You write about the eureka moment. Talk about that. Sara: Oh, it's just, like I said, I think there's this pleasure that cooks take, and maybe not all cooks, but that when you figure out how a few things can fit together and improve each other. And so I think about that when I'm meditating on this little bit of extra pork shoulder I have around and I realize that I could add a little more flavor to the pork shoulder, like adding some annatto and it will taste a little bit like Cochinita Pibil. It won't be a classically prepared Cochinita Pibil but it'll have some of that lovely lemony annatto flavor, and that that could be reframed into tacos after I'd had it maybe in more Italian version of it the night before. And then you just start thinking, "Oh, and then I have that extra half of that onion that's in the fridge." And then I'll pickle that. And then, look, suddenly you have this new meal. And the anticipation of how that meal will come together is what I think of as the eureka moment. Soup is almost always an options. And there's a whole chapter in the book on soups. And that's often the way that you can figure out how to put all those puzzle pieces together.Suzy Chase: So I want to chat about a question you brought up in the cookbook which was if we revered these ingredients that were painstakingly grown in organic fields and handcrafted by food artisans, why do we not also appreciate them after the first meal? And I was wonder why don't we? We're so quick to throw it away.Sara: Yeah, I think we are. Well I think there's a few different camps I would say for sure. There are people who grew up and they just never liked leftovers. And they're a tougher nut to crack. But I think the key is reframing things and making things feel a little new and fresh. And then there's those of us who are more like me probably who just have good intentions and don't get around to it. And it's that delayed virtue thing that I think we all engage in a lot in our modern world. But it's true, I do think that there's a level of respect for ingredients that should extend beyond the farmer's market and extend into our daily lives. And it's always going to look glorious uncooked at the farmer's market. But what happens when it's in your refrigerator or in your freezer? And how can you really bring back that enthusiasm you had for the same thing before it was cooked and before you tried it? And I always say I'm easily bored. So I think of ways of layering in flavors and layering in textures. So even if I'm not preparing one of these recipes from start to finish, I have great condiments in my refrigerator door like a harissa or a gochujang, which are two different chili-based sauces. gochujang, from Korea, which has the miso-y fermented bean taste. And then harissa which has lovely warm spices like cumin and caraway in it. So those are things I would anoint this second-day food with to just bring in that vibrancy. Or maybe I'll grate lemon zest over top of something or add a dollop of yogurt to add a freshness. So always thinking about ways that you can, even very simple ways that you can add another layer of vibrancy to food after it's been in the refrigerator. Of course it can get a little less sharp tasting once it's been sitting in the refrigerator for a little while. So you need to think about ways of reviving food, but really taking pleasure in it.Suzy Chase: Give us some general rules on when to throw things out, like fish and seafood, vinaigrettes, moldy cheese or cooked meats.Sara: Okay, that sounds good. Well with fish and seafood, no one wants old, cooked seafood around. It just really spoils quickly. So I tend to use that the next day. Actually I love having leftover salmon, especially if it's been a little smoked, like if I did it on the barbecue. But I do tend to use it the next day. The one exception might be something like an escabeche, if you've made a vinegar-based marinade, you probably can get away with another day or two. But basically that's a quick thing. Just think of a clever thing to do the next day maybe for brunch. You could make strata and throw in some of the leftover barbecue in that case. With cooked meats, I think they generally can stick around for three days or so. The other thing I would say though is, because we sometimes don't get around to the leftovers we mean to, if it's something saucy or stewy I often just try to throw it in the freezer the next day rather than keep it around if I don't think I might get through it. And the freezer is always a good option for something that's got a lot of liquid in it. It's not such a good option for something that's like a dry roast, like if you just did a pork tenderloin in the pan. That's something you'd want to use from the refrigerator and not freeze. Oh, and then you asked me, the last question was cheeses. Now there's a few recipes in this book that I really love because they're custom made for cleaning out the cheese drawer. And I don't know about you but I have a tendency to get excited about cheeses. And when we eat through two-thirds of it, and then there's this funny little nubbin of cheese that doesn't look quite as pretty anymore.Suzy Chase: Yeah. Exactly.Sara: So all cheese melts together for the most part. And so there's some wonderful recipes. One of my all-time, classic, favorite things to make are gougeres, which are those wonderful cheese puffs. And you can mix those extra cheeses you have around the cheese drawer in a gougeres, and they're just so extraordinarily delicious. The other fun thing is that gougeres I've found bake up best for me if I've actually made the dough, piped them onto the pan and then freeze that dough. I find they bake better from the freezer. So not only am I saving this extra cheese that I've had around the refrigerator, but then I have them in the freezer. And if guests come over and I want a nice little appetizer, it's super easy to just pop into the oven for 20 minutes and you have these wonderful, crisp, fragrant, hot gougeres to serve your friend.Suzy Chase: This is funny. One time I asked Dorie Greenspan what she would offer me if I came to her house, and she said gougeres. I said, "I'll be over in 15 minutes. It's done."Sara: It's just they're so pleasing. Kids love them, adults love them. And very simple. If you want to get fancy, you can cut them in half and put [inaudible 00:13:26] as a little sandwich. But you can also just serve a big pile of them, and next time you turn around they'll be gone. Suzy Chase: So the other night I made your recipe for the sesame roasted winter vegetable party on page 47. It's such a unique way to roast vegetables. I always do the regular olive oil and salt and pepper. But yours mixes together olive oil, tahini, garlic, sea salt and sesame seeds. Describe this dish.Sara: Okay. Well, like you, I often just do the olive oil things. But sometimes I want a little more substance to a roasted vegetable and just a little more flavor. And so I love, when I'm working with sesame, to hit it in more than one way the sesame. So there's the tahini, there's the sesame seeds which toast up in the oven and get crunchy. And then the idea is you make just a big batch of those roasted vegetables. And you might them use them in a salad and just enjoy them throughout the week that way. You can puree them together and make a wonderful soup. But on their own they're also delicious. And that extra sesame flavor just gives them a little richness and a little depth.Suzy Chase: I'm so excited to have this recipe now because I'm so sick of the regular olive oil. It zipped up my vegetables. It was really delicious.Sara: It is fun. Actually roasted vegetables are great that way. There's a couple of other methods that I'll share, that aren't in the book, that I love to do. Sometimes it's really great to cook them simply but then hit them when they're just coming out of the oven with some fresh grated garlic and maybe a little parsley and maybe a little Parmesan. In that case, the hot vegetables hitting the garlic just really adds this big burst of aroma. And that's another fun way to have a little more fun with your roasted vegetables. Suzy Chase: That's a good tip. So here is a brilliant tip that was a light bulb moment for me in this cookbook. Hang a list of what's in your fridge on the front of the fridge. It seems so simple yet so effective. Sara: And one, I will tell you, that I go through phases with because I am a human too. Sometimes I'm better organized than others. But it is, it's true. If you know you have those things that are in the fridge, that's a restaurant, organizational tip. Knowing the inventory of your fridge is really helpful, so if you write it down or even if you just do a visual check. And also, of course, another restaurant tip that's so important is just to make sure to label what you put in the fridge. And again, it's not like I'm perfect with this. But I always regret not labeling things because something gets shoved to the back and then you don't see it. And then it's a week later and you're like, "Oh no, this was that lovely lamb stew."Suzy Chase: I know.Sara: "I intended to do something with it."Suzy Chase: It's the most defeating moment. You're like, "Oh, rest in peace lamb stew."Sara: Exactly. You know what I like to do? And there's many different ways to label. I have a roll of bright yellow masking tape and a sharpie hanging from my kitchen shelf, just like a lot of restaurants do. And I just try my best, even if I had a glass of wine at dinner, when I throw things in the fridge to slap that label just to say what it is. And then it really makes a big different. Suzy Chase: For my segment called My Last Meal, what would you have for your last supper?Sara: Oh, that's such a good one. It would be ... I feel like I just would want a giant bowl of spaghetti bolognese. I just love a meaty spaghetti sauce, I think it's just a childhood memory, with a lot of delicious cheese nearby. And a crisp, green salad too because you need something as a counterpoint. Suzy Chase: Where can we find you on the web and social media?Sara: I'm on instagram @saradickerman. And then I've also started a new community on Facebook that I'm hoping people might enjoy that is Second Meals. And that is where people could share their ideas or their creations of great second meals that they've come up with or invented for their leftovers. And then I love Instagram. I'd say that's where I'm most active.Suzy Chase: I'm totally going to check out your Facebook group and join it. That's exciting.Sara: Great. Thank you so much. Suzy Chase: Well thanks, Sara, for coming on Cookery by the Book podcast. Sara: Oh, thank you so much for having me. Really great to talk with you.Outro: Follow Suzy Chase on Instagram @cookerybythebook and subscribe at cookerybythebook.com or in Apple Podcasts. Thanks for listening to Cookery by the Book podcast, the only podcast devoted to cook books since 2015.

The founder and CEO of Cubicles and Curls Alicia Davis joins the show to discuss a very important topic: what to do when you're unemployed. She also relates her own experience with unemployment and shares effective advice regarding how to handle it. Connect with Alicia: LinkedIn, Cubicles & Curls website, IG, TwitterConnect with us! LinktreeTRANSCRIPTZach: What's up, y'all? It's Zach with Living Corporate, and you're listening to a special B-Side. For those of you who are new here, B-Sides are essentially episodes we have in-between our more formal episodes, and they are even somehow more lit than our regularly scheduled content. That's right, more lit. Now again, this B-Side is special, because we have Alicia Davis, CEO and founder of Cubicles and Curls. Alicia, please introduce yourself.Alicia: What up? This is Alicia. I am the creator and founder of Cubicles and Curls, which is a blog or blog, you know, platform, for black professionals doing their natural hair thing, doing their career thing. We talk about hair care, we talk about hair styling, we talk about career advice. The whole thing.Zach: Come on, now. That's right, and it's special also not just because Alicia is here--that's plenty special of course, but because we're doing, like, an interview/collab episode. That's right. Alicia, why don't you walk through how we're gonna do this today?Alicia: All right. So today's episode is something that I felt was very important to talk about, 'cause we don't talk about it enough. We're talking about what to do when you are unemployed, and that could be, you know, you got fired, laid off, underemployed, you know, just haven't found a job yet. [Everyone?] goes through it at some point in their life, and we really wanted to get into the whole nitty-gritty of how that feels, what to do, how to look for a next job, and, just, you know, letting you know it's okay and it happens.Zach: That's a great subject. I'm excited about this because--you know, labor statistics show that non-white professionals are more likely to be unemployed and more likely to be unemployed for longer stints of time, so it's really important that we, I believe, have this conversation. Have fun with it of course, but really just address it, and address it courageously, because it's part of your career journey. And there's a quote here. Do you want me to read it or do you want to read it, Alicia?Alicia: Sure, I'll read it if you're talking about the Anna Wintour quote.Zach: Yes.Alicia: So Anna Wintour, who is the editor of Harper's Bazaar--sorry, no, I think she's the editor of Vogue. She used to work for Harper's Bazaar, and she said, "I worked for America's Harper's Bazaar. They fired me. I recommend they all get fired, because it's a great learning experience."Zach: For sure, for sure, for sure. So right, we want to talk about our experiences of losing jobs, what we did during unemployment, and what we did to find a new job. So Alicia, do you want to start or do you want me to start?Alicia: Yeah, sure. So I'll start.Zach: Okay.Alicia: You know, I would like to say that I've probably been unemployed a total of three times, under different circumstances. You know, once when I was in college. You know, another time it was just kind of, like, an issue of lack of work. You know, the company had to downsize. And another time I actually got fired. So, you know, those experiences really resonated with me, because, you know, something that I think we're ashamed of a lot, and one thing--when I was going through that at first I was just so down, but once I got out of it I kind of saw it for the gift that it was at that time.Zach: Yeah. No, for sure. So I was thinking about this--as we met of course and you proposed this topic, I was thinking "Okay, so I don't think I've ever been fired," right? And I haven't really ever been, like, asked to resign or anything like that either, but I do remember in college just not having a job and desperately wanting a job, and that journey of, like, getting into the workforce for the first time for real and trying to, like, prepare myself for a real career after college. I also remember--though I did not get fired and I wasn't asked to resign, I do remember quitting a job because the environment was so toxic, right? It was super racist, and I was getting called out on my name and threatened and things of that nature, which was, like, genuinely a dangerous and toxic environment, and I remember for about 3 or 4 months I was just, like, freelance consulting. I remember that, and that was a major part of my learning journey as well. So I'm excited about this for sure. And so then what did you do to find a job? Like, in those instances--Alicia: [inaudible] fired?Zach: Yes.Alicia: Oh, sorry.Zach: No, go ahead.Alicia: I said not everyone's been fired, but I think everyone faces unemployment, either after college or underemployment, you know? Sometimes things just happen where you're in-between jobs or, like you said, you quit 'cause you just can't take it anymore, and so I think at some point everybody goes through one of these phases where you're just, you know, in-between jobs.Zach: Absolutely. And, you know, something I've also realized is how big--so the gig economy, which is, like, a whole 'nother podcast episode, but in that same vein, contract employment, right, and working through temp agencies and contracting agencies where you're not, like, a--you're not your own boss, but, like, you're working through someone--you're working through an agency that if they don't staff you on a role, then you don't have any--you don't have any paper, right? And there's--that type of work lends itself to being underemployed for months at a time.Alicia: Exactly, and even if you are making paper you don't have benefits.Zach: Right, right. You don't have benefits, right. So yeah, I mean, let me ask you, what did you do--in those seasons of unemployment, what were you doing to find a new job?Alicia: Right. So the first time, you know, when I got laid off, my company was downsizing, you know? It just was a matter of how scared--I had moved out, like, boldly moved out of my mother's house for a year, and I was like, "I have to make ends meet." So, you know, I reached out to, like, my contacts. I was, like, really just kind of nervous about it, you know? And I found a job kind of quickly, just 'cause, like, I needed something to do. So I found a job. It was decent. I was like, "Okay, we can do this." It wasn't really what I wanted to do. It was outside of my field, but it was a job. It had benefits, and I was happy for it until, you know, finally it kind of came out that really that job wasn't gonna be a good fit, and, you know, they agreed it wasn't a good fit. We had to part ways. After that, I was unemployed for a year, but this time moreso voluntarily. I wasn't looking for a job at first because I really wanted to use the time--you know, 'cause prior to that I was unemployed for 2 months, and I was like, "If I ever find myself in that situation again, I'm gonna use the time a little differently." So I used the time to kind of reassess the kind of person I am, what my goals are, work on projects that I didn't get time to do when I was working full-time, and I was really--you know, I had saved up enough, so I was really just working to, you know, get myself ready to work and to come back to the workforce before I started looking for a new job.Zach: So those are great points, and it's interesting 'cause I think, for me, when I took a step away from that really toxic job, I was doing a lot of freelancing, like, contract work and kind of, like, staff agency stuff, and I really had to really take--for me, what I learned and what I really had to really pause and--there was a certain level of intentionality on my side of "Okay, well, before I just throw myself headlong into something else, what do I really need to, like--" 'Cause that was--I probably need to find some healing from that situation, right? And everybody who quits or leaves a job or--you know, it's not that it always is gonna be traumatic per se, but listen, man, leaving a job is hard. Like, even if you leave a job for something else that might be better, you kind of got to wash some of that old stuff off, right? Like, you need to--like, there needs to be a certain part of you that needs to kind of let it go. It's kind of like getting out of a relationship or--to be honest, right? Like, platonic or romantic.Alicia: Yeah, 'cause when I was [single?] I was like, "Am I describing my breakup?" Or "Am I describing when I left a guy?"Zach: And then, you know, also, you know, your living situation and your--you know, your savings and your severance and unemployment insurance, stuff like that. I mean, having those things lined up too. Thankfully for me, when I was doing the contract work and the checks were not as steady because I was freelancing and doing a bunch of different other consulting work, my wife had a job at the time, so--and because of the way that we had budgeted and we lived under our means, you know, nothing went under, by the grace of God, but it's important to think about those things too. So, you know, regardless of what they say, when you resign--when you leave a job, regardless if you leave--if you leave a job for another job or you leave a job just because "I got to leave"--people say "Don't make an emotional decision." Listen, it's always gonna be an emotional decision. You will never be able to, quote unquote, take the emotions out of it. There's gonna be some emotion involved with you transitioning away. At the same time, it's important to think through, like, "Okay, what are my plans once these checks stop," right?Alicia: Mm-hmm, yep. And, you know, to that it's really--one thing I want to tell people is if you're quitting, you need to make sure you have the financial means, but however if you're getting laid off, you might not have had that stacked up, you know? And one of the first things I did when I was laid off, I was like, "Well, can I get--" You know, talked about severance and all that stuff, and I was like, "Can I get unemployment?" And, you know, there's different--I don't know how it works in every state, but, you know, some states you have to have certain reasons. So if you're fired you might not be able to get unemployment, but if you're laid off you could, you know? So really that's a conversation--and it is emotional like you said, but that's really a conversation you do want to have with HR no matter what the circumstances and apply for unemployment right away if you can. If you can't apply for unemployment, you know, what I did too--you know, when I had left the second job that I got after I, you know, was laid off for a year, I actually applied to be an SAT teacher, because I was like, "Well, what other skills do I have?" And randomly I got an email, and it was from Kaplan saying, "Hey, do you want to do SAT teaching?" And I was like, "Oh, I can do that," you know? You might want to--like you said, you tapped into your freelancing. You know, think of some other things you can do with the internet. You know, there's so many opportunities to, you know, make a little money on the side to hold you over until you can find something else. And I really want to stress, you know, utilizing those resources as best as you can. If you're in your home town, you know, you might want to live with your parents. You might want to, like, rent out your apartment, you know, temporarily, Airbnb, whatever you need to do to make sure that you're stable, 'cause if you feel like you're drowning and you're on the verge of, you know, going into bankruptcy, you're not gonna be able to concentrate on getting better and healing.Zach: That's a good point, and it sounds as if really you were having to flex a few different creative muscles.Alicia: Mm-hmm. Yep, that's exactly what happened.Zach: And I think--which leads to another point. You know, not everyone is super creative and, like, industrious in that way, and so I think it's important to talk to people before you decide to leave, or if you know you're about to get fired or let go or there's some type of downsizing, have some trust and confidants around you that you can talk to as things are happening so they can maybe help you kind of navigate or they can point you in the direction of someone who can help you figure out how to--what the next season looks like.Alicia: Exactly.Zach: I know for me--I know for me, when I did leave--and I was depressed. Like, we've talked about mental health and mental wellness on Living Corporate before. I have no shame in saying that. When I quit that job, I was genuinely depressed and ended up gaining a lot of weight, and so--and did not take care of myself, and it took me--it took me some years to, like, lose that weight--and a little bit more, but to lose that weight that I had gained, and it was crazy because by the time, like, another opportunity came up that was, like, a great opportunity, and I got the job, but I wasn't in the best of shape. I wasn't at my best self, and so I think it's important as well, like, when you're in that season, that off-season, quote unquote, that you don't fall off, right? Like, go to the gym. Like, if you have--if you have some type of--whatever your belief system or structure is, pour into your local community. Like, continue to invest in yourself, that way when you show up at the next job you glowed up. Now, again, they hired you, so you have some level of [gold regards?], but for you to be at your best self--'cause I tell you, I regret not being healthier when I started my job, because I would've--you know, I would've enjoyed some things better. When I took business trips, I would have--I would have been more comfortable. I would have been able to explore the cities more, things of that nature, but I wasn't able to because I wasn't--I was not at a healthy--I wasn't physically healthy.Alicia: Yeah. And you know, I want to peel that back a little bit, you know? Like, when I was laid off as well, I was depressed, and, you know, I gained weight. I remember when I did have an interview I couldn't even fit into any of my suits, and I didn't have any money to buy a new suit 'cause I'm, you know, unemployed, but I really want to peel back. You know, a lot of people, when they find themselves in a situation, they do fall into these depressive episodes, and it's really important to--I mean, it's important to let yourself feel the emotions, but you have to tap into your support system, and I think a lot of times why we fall into those depressive episodes is because 1. because of the trauma of what happened and 2. because we assign a lot of self-worth to having a job, you know? I was embarrassed to go to, you know, events or leave the house 'cause I didn't want anyone to ask me "What are you doing? When are you finding a job?" Because I felt so ashamed to just not be having a job for the first time, you know? And I think it's really important. One of the things I did, you know, when I was, you know, unemployed the second time and I was using that me time was detaching my self-worth from what I do to get paid, you know? What my full-time employment is, and I think that's something, you know, a lot of people need their support system and help to get out of, and I think if anything I just really want to stress that part alone, that you are not your job. You're more than your job. Your job is gonna change 20 times over, and you're still gonna be that person you are.Zach: That's so true, and I believe--well, we live in a capitalistic society, and the cost of living is going up, and wages aren't necessarily matching the cost of living as it continues to increase, and so more and more folks are switching from work/life balance to work/life blend, because really our lives have become work, right? By some degree or another. That's why the gig economy is popping like it is. You know, a lot of people are doing full-time jobs and they're also Uber drivers and Favor delivers. Shout-out Favor, shout-out Uber. Y'all are not sponsors, but if y'all hear this, holla at your boy.Alicia: What's Favor? We don't have that here.Zach: So Favor is a food delivery service. It's kind of like--so y'all have Uber Eats, right?Alicia: Like Grubhub?Zach: Yeah, like Grubhub.Alicia: That's what we have.Zach: Okay. Yeah--Alicia: Okay.Zach: Y'all also have DoorDash though, right?Alicia: We do. We just got that.Zach: Listen, they getting all this free pub.Alicia: I know.Zach: But whatever, it's cool. Favor is similar to DoorDash. Anyway, it's hard not to disassociate yourself from what you do that keeps food on your table, but the more you can really align yourself with whatever--your family, your community, volunteer efforts, and things that really keep you going spiritually, mentally, emotionally, that's gonna help you, because if all you are is your job, and you lose your--Alicia: Zach? Sorry, you cut out real quick.Zach: Oh. Can you hear me now?Alicia: Sorry. Yeah, I can hear you now.Zach: Okay, cool. Because if all you have is your job and you lose your job, then what do you have? So it's important that you're always thinking about that, and I think we're in a really interesting season of self-care and mental and emotional wellness. I think those spaces have been rapidly growing over the past 6 or 7 years, especially for black and brown people, and so I think it's important, like, to invest in some things of that nature just while you have a job. Like, invest in those things while things are good, that way you're not scrambling if something changes.Alicia: Mm-hmm. It's all about foundation.Zach: It is, it is. So to your point though about, you know, being laid off or fired, it's not a mark of shame, and really there's only so much about you keeping your job that's in your control, and I think that's the thing about--there's a term when you talk about--oh, yes, job security. Yes, that's the term. So job security is a myth, but most people think "If I have a job, and I'm getting paid a salary, then I'm going to--" Like, "Nothing can happen that's gonna change me from having that job." Like, we are--we buy into a certain level of--we buy into a narrative that our jobs are extremely stable and that having a quote unquote "steady paycheck" is more reliable than, like, being an entrepreneur or whatever the case is, but, you know, the reality is unless you're, like, a VP, like, someone very senior at an organization, you're really only, like, one or two decisions away from you not having a job, right? And it's interesting as I've gotten a little bit older. Like, I'm 29, and as I've gotten a little bit older and I'm kind of moving up the ladder a little bit--I'm a manager, so I'm not in any real--I'm not making no real moves, but I see a few things differently now than I did at--like, when I was an associate or an entry-level employee, because I'm starting to see how things kind of move and push together.Alicia: Behind the scenes.Zach: Behind the scenes, and, like, when I was--and even before my current industry, which is consulting, I was an HR business partner, and I was working with the--like, with the CHRO. I was working with the COO of a start-up, and I was just noticing, "Okay--" There'd be people, like, three or four, five, six, seven levels under him, under me at the time, and in their world they're thinking, like, everything's hunky-dory, it's all great, blah-blah-blah. They don't know, like, their boss is about to get fired. They're about to get moved to a whole 'nother department. And the higher up you go, it doesn't seem like anything to you. Like, you have to really practice empathy as you get higher up because at the higher--it doesn't seem like anything to you, but to them, like, their whole world has changed, and so I'm just thinking more and more about that. Like, if you're an entry-level employee, if you're a non-executive employee, they can make one decision, and you end up moving from Department A to Department G or Department G to unemployment, and it's like that. So there's--it's not in your control. What's in your control is your attitude, your level of gratefulness, and how you show up to work every day, and then--and how flexible you're being and prepared you're being to find that next thing, but I think sometimes, because we buy into the fact that, like, these jobs are promised and that--and that things are just so secure that we can't fathom, or we kind of--I know I did. I'll speak for myself, that I really was shook when I walked away and I was like, "Wait, but I thought this was gonna work out. I thought this. I thought this. I thought that." You know? Am I making any sense?Alicia: Yep, absolutely, and I think that--I really like that emphasis of "it's not in your control," you know? You could have been the best worker, and sometimes it's just a numbers thing, you know? And I feel like once you accept that, you know--if you did your best, fine. If you didn't do your best and you got laid off, you know, really just take time to just learn from, "Okay, what could I change for next time?" I think that, you know, focusing on what you can control really can help prevent you from going into that whole spiral afterwards.Zach: And it takes a while. Like, sometimes it may take--you know, so for me, like I said, I quit that job. I was doing some freelance stuff, and I was underemployed for about 3.5, 4 months, and I've talked to people and they'll be like, "Man, Zach, that is no time." Like, "There are people who are unemployed, you know, 6 months to a year." It happens. Okay, so let's--go ahead, go ahead.Alicia: Well, I mean, speaking of that, you know, we should probably pivot into what do you do when you're unemployed and looking for that next job?Zach: No, that's super true. Okay, so figuring out what you liked and didn't like about your last position and crafting--can help you craft an ideal position and picture for your next job, right?Alicia: Yep. You know, I think a lot of times we either over-romanticize our jobs or over-demonize them, you know? So we're like, "That place was terrible," or "This is the best place I'm ever gonna work," you know? And I think it's really important to really think about what you did and didn't like about that job, and when you're going into interviews or applying to jobs, look for the signs. Again, it feels like I'm talking about a relationship, but, you know, I guess we spend so much time at work it might as well be.Zach: But it is though. You spend more time at work than you do with your family.Alicia: You do, exactly. So, I mean, I guess the same tenets apply here. So, you know, you might have really noticed, "Okay, this is what I enjoy about my position. I enjoy doing these things, and I don't enjoy doing these things." Sometimes I was even able to, like, look at job descriptions, and I could tell "This isn't the place." It wasn't gonna--like, you know, "can work without structure," you know? "Quick on her feet. Doesn't need much direction." And I was like, "So you're basically saying you don't know what you're doing, and you want me to come in and figure it out, and you're not gonna help me at all?" And I was like, "I'm good," you know? Like, you learn how to read in-between the lines after a while. I remember I said to one of my friends, "This job wants me to work 20 hours a day, I can tell." They didn't say it, but I know what "fast-paced environment" and "willing to go the extra mile" means, you know?Zach: Oh, wow. Mm-mm.Alicia: Mm-hmm. They're setting you up to be like, "This is gonna be hard," and if that's not something you want, you know, you've got to read in-between those lines. Even in the interview, you know, we get so scared asking people questions, like, the real questions about these positions, but that's your only chance to figure out if it's gonna be right for you before you get in there. So, you know, ask them, "Why did the last person leave?" You know? "What's the hardest part about this job?" You know? Or "What are the challenges of this job?" Or "Who do you think is gonna be a fit for this?" And be realistic with yourself of if what they're saying sounds right to you.Zach: Those are great--that's just great advice. You know what? Alicia, you should really have, like, a blog or something. Oh, wait! [both laugh] Okay. So no, you're right though, and it's also recognizing what your non-negotiables are, right? So for me, I know--like I said, I quit that one job 'cause it was just super toxic, but I've quit some other jobs too. Like, some of my first--I was working at a major retailer, and I realized that for me--I had to walk away from that job because the scope was way too small. Like, it was focused on a store. That was it. And so I knew that when I quit my--when I quit that job I said, "Okay, I gotta find a new job that's gonna give me more space to be autonomous and be creative and really flex some other muscles that I believe I have," and so a non-negotiable for me was working in the retail industry at a store level. Like, that was a non-negotiable--that was a non-negotiable for me. A non-negotiable was having an extremely limited scope. That was a non-negotiable for me, but you learn that after you reflect and think through what you did and did not like about your last place of employment. There's things I did like from that job, and so I took that things forward as well, but--we're just gonna keep on relationship references. Sometimes we have friends--and if you don't have any friends like this, then look in the mirror and then point at the mirror, and then you're that person--they kind of date the same person.Alicia: Mm-hmm, over and over again.Zach: Right? Over and over again. It's like, "Yo, like, you kinda got, like, a type." "No, I don't. I don't have a type." "Eh, you kind of have a type." And, like, you keep making the same mistakes with this one that you did with this one, so... and I bet your friend, or you if you look--the person looking in the mirror, you probably haven't, like, paused and reflected, "Okay, well, what is it that I like and don't like about this?" 'Cause there seems to be a pattern here. And a lot of us do that in our careers too. It's like--I have people who, like, they are serial careerists. They have--like, they'll take the same job and quit for the same reasons over and over and over and over. So it's really important that you're thinking through what's working and what isn't working.Alicia: Yeah, I agree. I agree.Zach: So this resume/cover letter refresh. Now, that's important.Alicia: Yes. So, you know, I thought my resume was pretty bomb. Like, I think my--I've always had a pretty solid resume, but you know what? I was putting out feelers, and I was getting--like, I was getting phone interviews, but I wasn't getting past the phone interviews, so I was like, "What's going on here," you know? Like, my resume's dope. One job, like, I matched it exactly. Like, and it was a pretty [inaudible] job, so I was like, "How could you not hire me?" Like, I am the one, you know? But what I did was I actually at some point got a career coach, 'cause one I was kind of not--like, I was ready to apply, but I was still feeling a little bruised from, like, you know, past experiences, worried. So, you know, a lot of the times when you're writing these cover letters, it requires you to reflect on your experiences at these past jobs, and sometimes that's causing you to live in the hurt and the trauma all over again, you know? Just writing the cover letter can be an ordeal 'cause you're just like, "Wow, that job was really terrible," and it's coming out into your cover letter how wishy-washy you were about that job, you know? So what I did was I actually got a career coach to rewrite my cover letter for me, you know? Like, I [hired?] her, and she gave me advice. She rewrote my resume, because one thing she said was, you know, "You're listing out the things you've done, but you're not really giving me that, you know, "I'm a star" kind of thing in your resume. You're mostly like, "I did this, I did this," but you're not really telling me "I accomplished this" or, like, "I'm the winner," or, like, "I'm the best 'cause of X, Y, and Z." It wasn't shining, and my cover letter was much of the same, more just listing things that I did but not really, like, spelling out why I stand out, you know? And she was teling me that, you know, I think that comes from a place of you trying to be over-humble, and you're trying to, you know, downplay yourself a little bit because you're bruised. And so, like, getting her to refresh my resume really--honestly, the results were instant in terms of call-backs, in terms of moving on to the next level, in terms of even just changing my interview style, 'cause I realized, yeah, you know, I was kind of--like, I felt like, "Okay, maybe I'm not as good as I think I am," because, like, I had been laid off before, but I was like, "No, I am as good as I think I am, and that was just an isolated incident," you know? And it's really just about your attitude, but sometimes you just need someone else to step in and do that work for you because it's too painful to do it yourself.Zach: Man, I just--I 100% agree. I think the other thing I'd like to add to the idea of a resume/cover letter refresh is a LinkedIn refresh, right? So, you know, LinkedIn is like the--I mean, LinkedIn first of all, as--I'm gonna put my futurist hat on real fast. So as millennials and Gen Z get more into the workforce and they start engaging LinkedIn, it's gonna become--and it has already, if you've noticed, become way more social and, like, almost kind of, like, Facebook in certain ways, good and bad, the point being that it's gonna become an indelible part of your identity, professional and personal. I mean, even if you Google someone's name, their LinkedIn pops up. Their LinkedIn pops up more than their Facebook does, and so, you know, make sure that you have a professional and accurate depiction of who you are and what you want to present on LinkedIn is huge too, because that can have instant results as well. I've seen certain companies--if your LinkedIn isn't popping it's kind of like, "Eh, I don't really know." Like, that can be the difference maker, to your point, between, like, a phone interview and, you know, an actual in-person--Alicia: Yeah, 'cause let's face it, everybody looks everybody up nowadays. As soon as I hear your name I'm looking you up, you know? "What can I find?" [laughs] So either--if you have a generic name you might be safe, but if you don't you better have that LinkedIn popping. And, you know, just real quick on that, you know, make sure your picture is great, or--you know, it doesn't have to be a professional head shot, but it shouldn't be, like, a selfie. It shouldn't be inappropriate. It should look like how you would probably come for an interview.Zach: It really should though. And I'ma say this, at this point--so again, a lot of this speaks to financial privilege and access. Everyone can't afford, like, a professional head shot. At the same time, these cell phones... really?Alicia: Right? [laughs] If you have an iPhone X, just go against a white wall and take that picture.Zach: Take that picture. Get a nice outfit, you know what I'm saying? Get some drip. Okay, side-note, 'cause we're in 2019, and Ade and I, we would insert slang in 2018, but we did not always give context to the slang, and I have--Alicia: Explanatory comma.Zach: Absolutely. And we have aspiring allies and non-black and brown folks who listen to the show, and people will hit me up and be like, "Hey, what does "the bag" mean?" And I'm like, "Oh, the bag is, like, the money and the wealth or the opportunity." Anyway, so drip--for everyone who's listening who doesn't know--so drip is your fit, right? So drip is not to be confused with sauce, which is more influence and swag. One can have swag and sauce but not have drip, and one can have drip but not have swag. So with all that being said, you'll be dripped out, right, in the picture. White background, iPhone X. It'll be great. Now--Alicia: As a friend of mine said, "Drip or drown."Zach: [laughs] Oh, that's funny to me. Yes, drip--Alicia: I think that's my favorite thing I've heard all year. [laughs]Zach: Drip or drown. You better--you're gonna have to drip or drown. That might be the subtitle for this little B-Side, Drip or Drown. That might be the hashtag, #DripOrDrown. And then the last thing, don't let desperation lead you to another job that won't be a good fit. That's real.Alicia: I think that's important, because you know what? I get it. Your bills are coming down. You feel like you need to get a new job ASAP. You really need to take--like I said, just make sure you're making the right decision for you. The money could look good, but, like, if it's something that's gonna make you be working 20 hours a day, and you're not the type of person that likes to work 20 hours a day--if it's something where you're gonna be working from home a lot or you're gonna be traveling, you need to make sure it's a good fit, else you're gonna end up quitting or they're gonna end up letting you go again, you know? Like, you really want to make sure that 1. this next move--a lot of times what people do is they'll start applying to any job. It's not even in their field, you know? But it's like, "Okay, well, I think I can do that." That's when you're getting desperate, and people can tell, you know? You really want to stick to what you want to do, 'cause, you know, you might be at that job for a long time, and if you want to be--Zach: You never know.Alicia: Exactly. If you want to be in consulting but you're taking a job over at hospitality, you imght end up staying there for a year, and now you have a year of something outside of your field on your resume, and you're gonna have to work to explain, you know, how it lines up, 'cause--what I always think is funny is, you know, people are very narrow-minded when they look at your resume, and they're really only looking at your last thing, and you have to do so much explaining. Like, I had a whole major in health care. All of my jobs were in health care except for one, and people only focus on the one that wasn't. And I was like, "I was only there for 3 months," you know? And it's so crazy how things like that--so that's what I'm saying. Being intentional about, you know, your next move, even if it means passing up, like, a bunch of other, you know, could be easy wins, you really want to make sure your next one is gonna move along in your career path and not just pay the bills.Zach: No, I super agree with that. You know, I kind of make--see, now, this is your fault, Alicia, 'cause you brought up relationships, 'cause now I'm thinking about all these relationship jokes. But it's kind of, like, you know, when you--you might have a breakup, but it's cold outside. Like, it's cuddle season, and so, you know, it's like, "Man, I gotta find somebody."Alicia: Oh, no. Yeah, don't get a warm body job.Zach: [laughs] Yo. Don't get anybody. Don't get a rebound joke is my point. Like, you've gotta, you know, find somebody that is going to put a ring on it or that you will put a ring on. I don't know. You know, everybody's proposing to everybody. It's no problem, no judgment, but the point is figure out what is gonna really be stable for you, 'cause--this is two things. First of all, people very much so underestimate time, and underestimate it in terms of how fast it can go by, and the fact that you can't take it back. So to your point earlier, you said about a year in hospitality. Like, you can look up, and you're gonna have--there are people who are like, "I got this job 5 years ago 'cause I just wanted something 'cause I got laid off and I was just trying to find something," and you look up and it's like, okay, this is your job now, and you don't like it, or you've been doing this thing for a year and a half, 6 months to a year, and then you try to interview somebody--you try to interview for what you really want, and people are like, "Okay, well, why were you doing this?" Like, what are you going to say? And not to say that you're stuck. I mean, it happens, but it's gonna take a little bit more work in how you craft your story and convince interviewers that, "Okay, no, I'm really actually interested in this." Now, I would think that folks with a modicum of empathy and logic would recognize that life happens and that we don't always find--land in the jobs that we want, but often times, like you said--like, it's weird. Like, people put on these weird blinders during interviews and don't always think about context and how just things shift and change and everyone isn't the same, but anyway, this has been great, this has been great. Alicia, what else do we have? Before we go--you go ahead.Alicia: Before I go, I just want to ask--the last question was, you know, if you're an interview and it comes up "Why did you leave your last job?" And it's not exactly an easy answer, that's something you want to practice ahead of time, 'cause that's always gonna come up, you know? You know, one of the things I said when I was laid off was, you know, "My company was going in a different direction. We were shifting from the work that I was doing to a different sector, and that's not something I wanted to do, so, you know, we agreed it wasn't a fit and I left." And another job, the one that I was there for 3 months, I told them, you know, it was a temp job, 'cause basically [inaudible]. It just didn't transfer over into full-time, you know? So don't lie, but have some sort of, you know, palatable truth into your interviews, and practice your answers so that you're not coming off nervous or, you know, it feels like there's something shady going on there. I think that's really important, but I do want to stress that most places, at least in New York--you know, your employer--your past employer shouldn't tell your next employer that you were fired, because that would mess up your chances of getting a new job. I think there's some legality to that.Zach: No, that's illegal.Alicia: Yeah. It is, right?Zach: It's illegal, yeah.Alicia: Exactly. So I want you to have that comfort in knowing that, you know, you kind of are getting a fresh slate as long as, you know, you kind of know how you're gonna work it. Don't feel like it's gonna be, like, a scarlet letter that follows you for the rest of your life.Zach: No, that's super true, and it's interesting because you really gotta figure out ways to politicize--not politicize, but politic that answer. So for me, you know, I was at a major retailer for, like, less than a year, and so even now--I'm 7 years into my career, and people will say, "Okay, well, you know, why were you here?" And I'm like, "Well, you know, that really gave me the--" Like, my answer now is "That really helped me baseline some HR knowledge and best practices. However, I realized that the scope of that retailing context was not conducive for my professional development, and so I ended up finding X, Y, and Z," and I just kind of transition. And I think it's also important, now that we're talking about just how you interview and walk through your career, that you have, like, a story and a overarching narrative that you're speaking to. So if you talk about it from that perspective, then you're kind of--you're talking about these jobs as just points in your journey and not necessarily "I was this, I was this, I was that." It's--for me as an example, I'll say something like, "My name is Zachary Nunn. I'm very passionate about people." And so you'll see in my career, as you look at my resume, all of the roles that I have involve people, and then from there I just kind of walk through the story of "I was here, then I was in oil and gas, then I was in pharmaceuticals. Now I'm in consulting," and it makes sense, as opposed to, like I said, having, like, a really segmented story, 'cause that's how people like to--that's an older way of thinking, but just remember we're transitioning now into a much more fluid workforce, and it's okay to be in different places and have different experiences, but--Alicia, to your point, I 100% agree that you have to have some practice and verbiage behind how you're gonna spin that.Alicia: Yep.Zach: Okay. Now, look, this has been dope, and like I said, this is the first one of its kind. This has been pretty fun for me. Have you had a good time?Alicia: I had a great time.Zach: Okay. Before we let you go, where can people learn more about Cubicles and Curls?Alicia: Okay. So you can learn more about Cubicles and Curls on our blog, CubiclesAndCurls.com, or you can follow us on Instagram @CubiclesAndCurls. Sometimes I'm on Twitter, and that's just @CubiclesCurls, but, you know, Instagram is definitely the place where you'll usually find me.Zach: Aye. Awesome. Well, that does it for us, y'all. Thank you for joining us on the Living Corporate podcast. Make sure to follow us on Instagram @LivingCorporate, Twitter @LivingCorp_Pod, and subscribe to our newsletter through living-corporate.com or living-corporate.co or livingcorporate.co, livingcorporate.tv, livingcorporate.org.Alicia: Ooh.Zach: I know. Yeah, that's right, Alicia. We got 'em all. We don't have livingcorporate.com because Australia owns livingcorporate.com.Alicia: Hm.Zach: I know, right? It's crazy. It's crazy. Anyway, if you have a question you'd like for us to answer and read on the show, make sure you email us at livingcorporatepodcast@gmail.com. This has been Zach, and you've been listening to Alicia Davis, founder and CEO of Cubicles and Curls. Peace.Alicia: Peace.

W. G. Snuffy Walden - "Angela Smiled" - My So-Called Life Armin van Buuren feat. Aaelyn - "In and out of love" Bart & Baker feat. Lolly Wish - "Downloaded (Rogan remix)" W. G. Snuffy Walden - "My So-Called Life theme" - My So-Called Life [Layers] Olivia Newton-John & ELO - "Xanadu" - Xanadu [Loops] Ken - "Nobody knows, we're all alone" [Recorded on cell phone camera (live during show)] Olivia Newton-John & ELO - "Xanadu" - Xanadu [Loops] W. G. Snuffy Walden - "Angela Smiled" Live phone caller & Ken - "Possibility is possible (It's possible)" W. G. Snuffy Walden - "Angela Smiled" - My So-Called Life Ken's Last Ever Radio Extravaganza - "You Don't Have Time (this is good news)" - Show #509, from 9/15/2016 [Live on stage at Twisted Branch Tea Bazaar] Set: Michael Linnen & David Wingo - "Kissing music" - All the Real Girls Ken - "Collective faith (something good will happen)" Cowboy Junkies - "Ring on the Sill" - Pale Sun Crescent Moon [Loops] Sharon Stone with Garry Shandling - "If you're not in your vulnerability, nothing is interesting" - Garry Shandling meets Sharon Stone [They didn't want to be in their truth or vulnerability; they wanted to be in their mask, and their whole acting out of how fabulous they were. It's only really interesting to be with people when they're in their vulnerability. It's better to be with someone when they're making mistakes and don't know what to do, than someone who's being so sure-footed and phony. That's not interesting at all.] Martin Donovan, Hal Hartley, Anatole France - "Ignorance is the necessary condition of human happiness." - Surviving Desire movie / The Gods Will Have Blood [We are almost entirely ignorant of ourselves, absolutely of others. In ignorance, we find our bliss; in illusions, our happiness.] Julia Kent - "Ebb" - Character Lou Reed - "Street Hassle" - Street Hassle [Loops] Live phone caller & Ken - "Having a great winter" Carel Struycken, Kyle MacLachlan (voices), David Lynch, Mark Frost (writers) - "Don't search for all the answers at once" - Twin Peaks: Season 2 episode 1 [Better to listen than to talk. A path is formed by laying one stone at a time.] Live phone caller & Ken - "Daytime (mossy lighthouse)" Ken - "Trembling and shaking" Live phone caller & Ken - "Transitional moment (mossy lighthouse)" Ken - "Shape and timelines" Ken - "Practice not being remembered" Explosions in the Sky - "Your Hand in Mine" - The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place Ken - "Try to remember what you said, hope somebody was there as a witness" Charlie Kaufman - "Failure is a badge of honor, it means you risked failure" - BAFTA and BFI Screenwriters Lecture Series [Let's not worry about failure. And if you don't risk failure, you're never going to do anything that's different than what you've already done, or what somebody else has done. And just know that, that that's the choice you're making when you won't put yourself at jeopardy like that.] Martin Donovan (voice), Hal Hartley (writer) - "Intimacy list" - Surviving Desire [Kissing, caressing, holding, slapping, shouting, talking, waiting, sleeping, crying, listening, hoping, encouraging, forgiving, laughing, relenting.] Ken - "When did this happen? People speak of slipping out of time" Malcolm X - "I live like a man who is dead already. I have no fear whatsoever of anybody or anything." - Our history was destroyed by slavery [No, I don't worry. I'm a man who believed that I died 20 years ago.] Alexandre Desplat - "Closing credits music" - Birth Ken - "I remember that I wasn't sweating, moving forward in time" Spandau Ballet - "True" - True Andre Gregory (voice), Rupert Walters (writer) - "Mysteries going on all the time" - Some Girls [Right under our noses.] Ken - "Leaving one cookie over. What if I had 5 minutes? Then I'd worry that if I only had 7 minutes, I'd have enough" [How long do you need to fall in love with someone?] Explosions in the Sky - "Your Hand in Mine" - The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place [with Spandau Ballet, David Wingo & Michael Linnen, Cowboy Junkies] Ken - "You can go back and edit. How long does it take us to unlearn everything?" [I think we already know everything. They probably already know. But it's probably time to tell them. You don't have time. This is good news.] Sawako - "White Sky Winter Chicada" - Hum Alan Watts - "Wanting what you are not divides you (from Intellectual Yoga)" - Philosophies of Asia [So long as you can be persuaded that there's something more you ought to be than you are, you've divided yourself.] Ken - "Assume their posture, see how you feel (I used to look down a lot, I feel like a child)" [Regression therapy, inner child] Andre Gregory (voice), Rupert Walters (writer) - "Mysteries going on all the time" - Some Girls [Piano loop] Pink Floyd - "Goodbye Cruel World" - The Wall [Bass loop] Al Bowlly (singer), Richard A. Whiting, Harry Akst (music), Gus Kahn (lyrics) - "Guilty" - Amelie s.t. Martin Donovan (voice), Hal Hartley (writer) - "Intimacy list" - Surviving Desire [Kissing, caressing, holding, slapping, shouting, talking, waiting, sleeping, crying, listening, hoping, encouraging, forgiving, laughing, relenting.] Ken - "You'll have a memory. I'm going to look straight at you" Cowboy Junkies - "Ring on the Sill" - Pale Sun Crescent Moon [Loops] Ken - "Remember this moment in time. You will look back and be glad we have no more devices, no more electronics, we only look directly at each other" [Appreciations] Set: Cowboy Junkies - "Ring on the Sill" - Pale Sun Crescent Moon [Loops, back in 2019] Ken - "We almost remember who we used to say we were, the identity we're supposed to put on" [We're not sure if it still fits] Ken's Last Ever Radio Extravaganza - "Be Who You Are Today" - Show #522, from 5/4/2017 [Live on stage at Twisted Branch Tea Bazaar ] Set: Garth Stevenson - "Dawn" Ken - "Here it comes, something is going to come together" Lionel Richie - "Stuck On You" [Loops] Noam Chomsky - "Social Policy - Welfare for the Rich" Weyes Blood [Piano loop] Bill Cosby - "Conflict" - To Russell, My Brother, Whom I Slept With [Mind and body don't get along at all] Stan Dale - "Stop trying to be a good person. If I do nice things for you, maybe you'll love me?" Bill Cosby - "Seattle" [And you get a gorilla and then the old gorilla] Jesse Rose - "Night at the Dogs" Christine and the Queens - "Christine" [Loops] Mazzy Star - "Fade Into You" War On Drugs - "In Reverse" - Lost in the Dream [Loops] Martin Luther King Jr - "I'm afraid we're integrating into a burning house" Ken - "You've walked in on the middle of a bit of an experiment" Steve Paxton - "Taking care of your partner, and this third thing, what you are together" - In a Non-Wimpy Way War On Drugs - "Burning" - Lost in the Dream [Loops] Ken - "People are looking for the good bits" Live phone caller - "Luck is when opportunity meets preparedness. Planning is great, but being open is great" [over War On Drugs-In Reverse loops] War On Drugs - "In Reverse" - Lost in the Dream [Loops in 2019] Ken - "Disasters, looking for the lessons, we need tragedy, we need television, we need preparedness" War On Drugs - "Burning" [Loops in 2019] Ken's Last Ever Radio Extravaganza - "Be Who You Are Today" - Show #522, from 5/4/2017 [Back in 2017!] Ken - "Self-indulgent. Sometimes I'm too ambitious" Elton John & Kiki Dee - "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" [Loops] Ken - "You're allowed to be a different person every day (you can be who you are today)" Timothy "Speed" Levitch - "Running from the cops, every day I feel like a fugitive" - The Cruise Kyle MacLachlan, David Lynch - "Better to listen than to talk, don't search for all the answers at once, a path is formed by laying one stone at a time" - Twin Peaks Lara Flynn-Boyle, David Lynch - "Crying" - Twin Peaks pilot episode Bill Cosby - "Seattle" [Gorilla loop] Lara Flynn-Boyle - "Crying" - Equinox - "Light and dark are equal" - Equinox Ken - "I don't like to explain, except that I love to explain, I just don't let myself do it. The crying is back. People expected crying" Lionel Richie - "Stuck On You" [Loops] Chevrolet - "The American Look (the freedom of individual choice)" Matthew Modine, Lara Flynn-Boyle - "There's always this pushing and pulling. I have my you. My whole life seems to be taking place without me in it" - Equinox Matthew Broderick - "First impulse was to demand that she admit she lied and cheated" - Election Frightened Rabbit - "The Wrestle" [Loops] Garth Stevenson - "Dawn" Ken - "None of it actually means anything, but it can mean everything" [Record them all] The Go Go's - "Our Lips Are Sealed (vocals only)" Moondog With Orchestra - "Stamping Ground" Ken - "You can look for meaning in your dreams" [Recording your dreams] John Carpenter - "Our impulses are being redirected. We are living in an artificially produced state of consciousness that resembles sleep" - They Live [The poor and the underclass are growing. Racial justice and human rights are non-existent. That is their primary objective: Keep us asleep, keep us selfish, keep us sedated.] Louis Hay - "Every thought we think and every word we speak is creating our future" Frightened Rabbit - "The Wrestle" [Loops] Steve Paxton - "The preservation of all concerned. Not injure or defeat or smash" - In a Non-Wimpy Way Steve Paxton - "If thinking is too slow, is an open state of mind useful? Seems to be" - Chute (from Contact Improv Archive 1972-1983) Steve Paxon - "A body could endure for decades (can't exclude fear)" - Chute (from Contact Improv Archive 1972-1983) Ken - "Some people are apparently transparent (start to unthink)" Ken - "There were a lot of things. I'll just name one of them: Lionel Richie" [I have to look away to think] Frightened Rabbit - "The Wrestle" [Final loops] Bill Cosby - "Seattle" Set: Elton John & Kiki Dee - "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" [Loops back in 2019] Ken - "This is the moment after. This is everything you've dreamed of. This is everything everybody has told you to want." Ken - "All the thoughts from before seem to be relevant again. We reinvent the wheel and we are the wheel and we imagine the wheel" W. G. Snuffy Walden - "My So-Called Life theme" - My So-Called Life [Layers] End of set http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/shows/83895

A song that Scott had written several years ago. To tell you the truth I have no idea why someone has not recorded this one yet! --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/todaysplea/support

Sometimes I'm not in the best mood to record and work in a session, and I know I'm not the only one who has felt this way. So, here's a few tips to stay positive about recording and ready to work. Email questions to info@lexcatl.com _________________________________________________________________ Beat produced by StephC Baby: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IydYl... Contact for purchase! _________________________________________________________________ Follow me: https://www.lexcatl.com/ https://www.instagram.com/lexcatl/ https://twitter.com/lexcatl https://www.facebook.com/lexcatl https://www.soundcloud.com/lexcatl --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/lexcatl/support

No one is safe from this man's tongue - Steve Allen takes to the airwaves on LBC every weekday morning from 4am until 7am and on weekends from 5am until 7am. Hear all of Steve's show with the news, travel and breaks taken out.

Sometimes I'm not the best role model: A story of aligners, allies and Alanis Morissette. Hopefully interesting, occasionally funny, Probably True.Probably True is the multi-award-winning, slightly filthy storytelling project tackling LGBTQ issues in a fun and engaging way. Much like its author, it is a smutty-but-charming collection of personal adventures. Or, to put it another way, Stories of queer life and even queer-er sex from a London gay.ProbablyTruePodcast.com @unlikelyladTheme music is 'RetroFuture Clean' by Kevin MacLeod Licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 3.0 License See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Susan Grace is a writer, intuitive, and empathic astrologer dedicated to the Collective’s call to usher in the End of Suffering. She has read thousands of charts for people of all walks of life from all over the world. She says she does this work to ensure no one feels alone in the massive shift happening in the world. And she has some important messages we need to hear right now. GUEST LINKS - SUSAN GRACE betheevidencepodcast.com podcast betheevidence.live platform | community susangrace.org HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSON Slade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition FACEBOOK GROUP Shift Your Spirits Community BECOME A PATRON https://www.patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT Slade: You write on your site, I climbed my way out of a deep dark well I had fallen into by feeling my way through astrology and listening to the whispering guidance from souls beyond the veil. Tell me the story behind that. Susan: Well I looked up and found that everything was falling apart. And I fought it for a long time. I tried to hold everything up with duct tape. I could feel that energies bigger than me were saying, You don't understand. You're done here. So I finally gave in and I just felt like something bigger than me was guiding, and I thought, Alright! Whatever you feel like you need to take down, because it's in my best interest, go ahead. But if we're going to do this, we're gonna do it all right now. Because I'm not doing this for ten years. And I swear, it was like the planets went, You heard the lady. And just... WHAM! It took everything down! All the rest of it! And I had to trust it. I had to trust that it was in my favour, that it knew what it was doing, and I had to ride it out. I ended up on the other side, exactly where I needed to be, course-corrected. And that made me start to dig into astrology and say, I need to understand what's happening here. Because I can't figure this all out by myself. I've got my limited perception as a human, can't figure all this out by myself. I need help. And so I just started digging and digging and digging and digging into the astrology to learn what was happening. And that's how I got started. Slade: How far back does your interest in astrology go? Was this something that you dabbled in when you were younger? Do you have a lifelong history with astrology? Susan: Well, I have a lifelong history with horoscopes, just sun signs, right? When I was coming up, there was no internet. We had things like newspapers and magazines. And I would follow horoscopes for the same reason. I needed help. I'd take all the help I can get. But then, once the internet came out, and once I saw my chart, I saw my chart in 2012, and that changed me forever. Then I was like, Oh, this is what I need! This is the key I've been looking for. Slade: Wow... So how did you get from that epiphany to actually doing readings for other people professionally? Susan: Social media. When I first started really reading, I felt like these astrologers I was listening to were talking a lot about all the mechanics within a chart, but they weren't putting it all together. I kept ending up saying to myself, I hear what you're saying, but what do you mean? What are you talking about? What does this ultimately mean? And I got to the point where I could sit in a chart for the day, and I'd figure out everything that was happening, and I would be like, Alright, this looks like anxiety. And then I would go and take art images and match that with the astrology, within social media. Nobody knew what the hell I was doing. All I was doing was feeling it out, mostly for myself, but then it caught on. And people started to share it a lot. And then, eventually it got to the point where people are going, Can you look at my chart? I was like, I'm not an astrologer. And then they kept saying it. I had a friend of mine who said, Susan, I'm going to PayPal you, and you are going to open my chart and read it. And I said, Okay! And then that's when it started. I had a friend of mine who had me on one of her shows. The two other panelists, off mic, were saying, Are you an astrologer? And I said no. And they're like, I believe you are! They had an intervention with me. And then it really got to where people wanted to hear what I had to say, not just my interpretation through art. The art fell away and now it's just me and my voice. Slade: Mmm... What do you think makes your astrological readings different from other astrologers? Susan: In my personal chart, I have a lot of water, water signs, which, in astrology, that means that I feel everything all the time. When I'm in a chart with someone, I walk them all the way through it. I've had readings with other astrologers and they give you basic, broad interpretations of your chart. When I read a chart for someone, I read EVERYTHING in their chart to them. Every placement. Every aspect. Every transit. Where the planets are now. And the phases of life they're going to go through. I tell them everything. They should know as much as I do about their own chart. And then I'm able to feel it too. I'm able to say, This looks like, for instance, something really rough happened when you were a kid and you've been trying to make up for it since then. And they're like, YES. And I'm like, Alright, well let's talk about it. And I get them all the way through feeling out who they are too. Not just book knowledge. Slade: So you use your intuition quite a bit then. Susan: Oh, yeah! And I did not even plan on this. When I first started reading... I'm gonna go ahead and tell you the truth about this... Slade: Mmhmm! Susan: When I first started reading, the very first professional one I did, someone's deceased father came through from the other side and I had never experienced that before. I decided on the fly to be brave and be like, Listen, this is going to sound crazy, but this is the energy I feel right behind me. As if this person is here. I described that they were in blue jeans wearing a t-shirt and they had a hammer in their hands. And they were like, tapping the hammer into their other hand, as if they're frustrated. And she said, Ohmygod. That's my dad. He used to build fences. And I said, Well I don't think he likes your boyfriend. And she said, I don't think he does either! So yeah, weird things like that have opened up, since I've become a professional reader. So it's a lot of intuition, it's a lot of messages from guides, it's a lot of outside energy saying things like, Tell them again! Tell them again! Tell them again! Tell them again! Sometimes I have to say, Alright! Back up! I just said it. I will say it again. But back up a little bit. It's that kind of stuff. Slade: Mmm... I have to tell you that, looking at someone's chart is my portal into reading for them and that was how I started doing intuitive readings was, if I know someone's sun, moon and rising sign, I can do an intuitive reading based on those three pieces of information. But for some reason, it's like... I've heard of other psychics who use even playing card decks or they have a coin that they twirl in their hand or they have these weird ticks that they have that are kind of their little gateway ritual, or whatever. And mine has fallen away to be just intuitive. But for a long time, that was how I would tune in to someone. I would just go and I would cast their chart and I would look into their chart. And I used to say, I wasn't even really reading their chart. It was more like the graphic became sort of the window. It was like a symbolic window. But if I looked through that window, it became representative of connection to that person. So that's very interesting that you have this combined, intertwined experience with that as well. It makes total sense to me. Because, same kind of thing. I was sort of drafted. Hey, can you read for me? Can you connect with my guides? ... I can try! That's sort of how it happens. I always think about what happened to you, with your friends being an example of one of those... The Purpose that the Universe picks for you, as opposed to maybe the one that you would've picked for yourself. You know what I mean? It's like, Nope. Here's your Purpose! You're drafted. Susan: Yeah. In my chart, I have placements around the galactic centre and when that happens, often the Purpose of your life, they come and get you. I could go hide under the bed. They were still gonna come get me somehow. You know, if you go back to my 10 year old self, my 20 year old self, and said, What do you want to be when you grow up? I never would've said an astrologer online. Because there was no astrologers and there was no online! It didn't exist! So that feeling of something coming to find you, I don't know, I'm noticing it happening more and more to people, no matter what placements they have in their chart. Because we're all kind of being called up right now. We're all needed in the world. Slade: Mmm... 2012. That was such a milestone year, expectantly. Like something was supposed to happen in 2012 and it did for you. For sure. Susan: So it happened for the world too. We just haven't seen it all play out just yet. You'll see. 2020 is the next marker and you're going to see it play out even more. Something DID happen in 2012. Slade: Mmm... Can you tell us? Susan: Sure! Slade: Well you're here! Go for it. Susan: If you've been following things like this, December 21, 2012 was the end of the Mayan calendar. People were saying it was the end of the world, and that's not true. It was the end of the world as we knew it. And what happened in 2012 was our solar system, which orbits around our sister star Sirius, was coming out of the darkest part of its orbit from Sirius. When we're closest to Sirius, we're the most conscious. When we're the furthest from Sirius, we're the least. It takes 2000 years for our solar system to go through the darkest part of its orbit from Sirius. We came out of that in 2012. Also in 2012, the same year, there's a planet called Regulus, very big planet that marks the leadership of the world. It takes 2000 years for Regulus to go through a sign. The exact same 2000 years, Regulus was in Leo. When we were in darkness, or unconsciousness, we were king and kingdom led. 2012 the same year that we're coming back into consciousness, Regulus clicked in to Virgo. Now the leadership of the world for the next 2000 years is the healing goddess energy. And the healing goddess energy is coming for everyone. Everyone is going to be healed one way or another. Slade: Mmm... So what happens in 2020? Susan: In 2020, Pluto is in Capricorn. Last time just Pluto was in Capricorn was when U.S. signed the Declaration of Independence. Saturn will cross Pluto in 2020. The last time Saturn and Pluto together were in Capricorn was the Renaissance. When Saturn crosses Pluto in 2020, Jupiter will be here too. The last time those three were in Capricorn was the year 1284, in the middle of our darkness. So the control of the world is going to flip. That control mechanism, fear mechanism, suppression, oppression, all of those are going to collapse and we are going to replace it with what we truly find valuable. It's Uranus going through Taurus. So it's going to be going back and healing the planet. It's going to be healing our own traumas from being suppressed and pushed down. It's going to be building new systems for education and for finding water for people, for healthcare systems, everything. Everything is going to be rebuilt. Slade: This is good news. Susan: Yeah! Slade: Hallelujah. Ohmygosh. That's really good to hear, Susan, because it's been a rough couple of years. Susan: it's been rough for all of us and people are exhausted. Exhausted! And if you don't understand... This is one of the reasons I will never ever put astrology down. If you don't understand where we are, what's been happening and where we're going, you could give up! And this is NOT the time to give up. I keep saying over and over and over. And I'm gonna keep saying it. We are going UP not down. So if you're starting to witness collapse, what you need to pay attention to and what you need to participate in is what's replacing it. Because the collapse is going to happen with our without your participation. And you want it to happen. But what comes next? Go there. Slade: I love it. So, I have to ask you, just really quickly before we move on from your readings, do you record your sessions? Is that an option for people? Susan: Yes, I record sessions and then I send it. I do it face to face on Zoom so that I can share my screen with them and I can show them everything I'm talking about in their chart. And I record it and I send it to them through Dropbox. Slade: Okay, excellent. Because I was just thinking, I have the wonderful benefit of having recorded you saying all of that. And I also have a transcriptionist. So I have access to that information and I wanted to make sure, because something shifts when you start reading like that. Like you kind of become a channel, a little bit. Susan: Oh yeah. And I can tell whenever I'm channeling. My voice gets more forceful and I start talking faster. I become very emphatic. It's almost like my feminine water steps aside and the masculine comes forward and starts being like, Pay attention. I'm telling you something important. Slade: Right. Susan: And then it kind of fades off. And then the water in me comes back more. Slade: I love it though. It's so cool because I've been listening to a lot of your podcast with Aubrey. Most people will have listened to my interview with Aubrey Cara. She's your co-host on the show Be the Evidence. Aubrey and I ended up talking about you so much in that interview that I literally Facebook-messaged you the minute we were finished recording. I was like, Your ears have to be burning. You need to come do an interview with me immediately, otherwise people are gonna be like, Where's the other chick, you know? So you've been on my list of potential guests from the beginning of my show for over a year. A lot of my listeners actually recommended you to me, but at that time, this newer podcast actually wasn't even out yet. So I feel like the timing has worked out. It's a very cool show concept. I have been listening to it as preparation for speaking with both of you guys. I love it because it is very much about what's going on in the moment. I'm going to turn it over to you and let you tell me about this show, Be the Evidence, from your perspective. Tell me about the name and the concept and what it's all about. Susan: Sure. It was, I guess two years ago. I was working with someone when I was still in my executive position at a corporate job and the president of the company had cancer. And I was in Houston with him helping him go through treatment. I was in the hotel room and I really felt like I was around that air of, I don't know if you've ever cared for someone who has something like that. There's like a heaviness around it. There's a heavy energy around it. I found myself going, How do I know that I'm right, that we come out of things like this? How do I know I'm right when I say, We heal out of suffering. We are healing out of suffering. We're going up not down. How do I know I'm right about that? Instantly, it came: You have to be the evidence of it. So I wrote down, Be the Evidence. And that became a tag on my website, and then (sorry there's a siren outside my window). Slade: Of course there is. There was a large truck moving some limbs around earlier on my end. It's part of the humanizing charm of our show. Susan: So when Aubrey and I started talking about doing a podcast, and she said, What do you think about the concept? Well it comes from my website, and I don't know how you feel about that but I'm kind of stuck on this Be the Evidence thing. And she's like, I don't care if it came from your website. I like it. Let's do it! That's where we come from, is that you have to be the evidence in the world. It's not going to do for us to all sit back and pontificate about where we think we should be going, with humanity. We've got to get out there and do it, in all of our questioning, in all of our confusion, in all of our vulnerability, in all of our going, I don't know what's going on, do you? Nope! And we have to keep doing it. You have to keep showing up. Show up! And be the evidence of what we can become, because nobody else is coming to do it. Slade: Mmm... The thing I love about your show is, it feels like a conversation that I have with some of my closest girlfriends, who will text me and be like, What the hell is going on?? Is something in retrograde or you know? And I mean, I'm not even an astrologer, but I usually am well versed enough in some of what's going on, or I will have picked it up, or heard it from this person or that person. So I will engage them with whatever little piece of new age perspective I have on it. A lot of those conversations actually end up being my content for my show, my blog post. One of my PR people. She and I became really close friends and for awhile, she would text me once a week and ask me some kind of heady question. I was like, That's a really cool question. Keep asking me those! Because they were generating stuff. So it reminds me, when I listen to you and Aubrey, it reminds me of those conversations. It feels like we're eavesdropping on Aubrey calling you up and saying, What's going on in the sky? And then your... whatever it is that happens, you start channeling, right? You're a channel. It'll go through this conversational phase, and then you have these moments where it's like, Susan is up on the soapbox telling it to us. I love it because it's really in the moment. You did a show on the full moon in Aries, which was a day or two ago. And I can listen to that in that moment when I'm feeling that energy. So you guys do 3 shows a week. It is very much in the moment. I'd like to hear a little bit about the process. How does that all work? Susan: The process is what it sounds like. Aubrey and I will, just for a few minutes, before we start recording, off mic, that's exactly what happens. I go, How are you feeling? She's like, Not so good! And then I'm like, Okay, let me show you what's happening in our charts. And she's like, That explains it. And I'm like, So these points I think are the strongest points of what's going on. And she goes, I agree. Let's go. And then we just hit record. We don't talk about how far we're going to go. We don't set up any kind of outline. We just start talking. So we have noticed, I think we're on number 24 now. We've noticed that we've started developing a pattern without even talking about it. We get on when we're both very human, very vulnerable, going, Man, I feel lost too. Wow. And then we get on a roll. And then there's a chan... Like you say, like you describe it, sounds like there's a channeling step going on. Something bigger comes through. By the time we finish, we both go, Right, that was complete. That's it. We laugh sometimes because it really is like you guys are listening in on us processing what the hell is happening. That's exactly what we do. Slade: I love that. I mean, it's such a cool concept. I try to keep everything really evergreen with what I do. But I do introductions that are very much in the moment. And I talk about my personal life and those often take on a life of their own. Sometimes I'm like, Wow, that was better than the planned segment. So I love the philosophy behind your show. I love the way that you approach it. It's very much the same kind of idea that we have here for this conversation. This is you and I meeting for the first time, talking about things that we have in common and the conversation has a life of its own. But you guys are impressively cranking out these episodes. Like, you make a lot of them. Susan: That was by choice. We started out, I think the first one was a week apart. We did it just weekly. And then we're like, that's too long. So we went to two a week. So we podcast on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We felt like Friday to Monday was too long. And so now we're up to three. And we've talked about going daily, and we might! Because we really feel like the energy is saying, No you don't understand. All hands on deck right now. And we are meeting that call. We're ready. We're ready to show up for the collective and anything that's going to happen, we are totally going to walk straight through this with people. We want to make ourselves available as much as we possibly can. Slade: I love it. I think it's a really cool show concept. I've been enjoying it. I don't know how other people will work it into their daily... Maybe they'll listen to it on their commute, or when they're on the train or the bus, or driving. I listen to it when I'm shaving. Like when I take my shower and I'm shaving. Because they're 20 minutes. It's a good amount of time to kind of check in every day, or maybe on those days where you really do feel like, Something's going on this week! I'm gonna see if what I'm feeling is right. And one of the things I've noticed about you even off mic, before we really started recording is, you have a very eloquent way of succinctly kind of stating things that it would take me a whole paragraph to say. And then you'll say something that's a phrase. I call those Shining Sentences. That is a channeled thing. Like the name for your show and how that came through. That was a shining sentence. You speak in shining sentences! You have a very poetic quality to your content, especially when it's written - your Facebook posts, your website. I notice that you even style them.. They're blocked on the page more the way that poetry is. Which, anyway, I just think is cool. I'm just analyzing you for the fun of it. Sometimes we're not aware of what we're doing artistically. Other times it's super intentional. Am I right in assuming that all those things are kind of part of what you're trying to create and I'm just picking it up? Susan: First of all, it's intentional but it's not my intent. When people finally started saying, We need to hear your words, it just started coming out in verse. I don't know why. And it still comes out in verse. Sometimes I go back to my own posts, going, What the hell is happening? And then I read my own and I go, Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Got it. But also, I've had more than one person tell me, when they finally talk to me, beyond just reading my words, they're like, Oh, you talk like you write! And I don't realize I'm doing it. Slade: That's very cool. It's a unique style and I like it. It's one of the things that draws me in. The use of the astrological vocabulary, I'm a little bit fluent in that so... But even sometimes when you talk about things that are really nuanced, I get the energy of what you're saying because of the way that you say it. There's a layer. It's definitely got a poetic quality to it. I can't find a better way to describe it. When we were writing back and forth, corresponding about the show, you wrote to me saying that you believe we are web-building right now. What did you mean by that? Susan: Well it's a very old paradigm, very patriarchal, to feel like there's one person going to do all the heavy lifting and then we're all going to follow that one person. No. That's not what we're doing anymore. Now we all rise together. We share resources, we share ideas, we support each other. We cross-promote. We are here to build a tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter web. A web of us all coming up together. Because there a power in our numbers. And because we all house our own special kind of tapped-in to the energy, all kinds of resources, our own specialties, our own bodies of knowledge. We all have something different and it's all needed. And so we build these things together. If you're out there competing right now, you've already lost. You have to find what you're really good at and then hook up with everybody else and what they're really good at. And conversely, if you're going out and you think you're gonna do what everybody else is doing, wrong answer. If it's already been done, it's already dead. So find what you do really well, your own specific way, and then we build webs. We don't fight each other. We join together. Slade: One of my marketing mentors, he has a very progressed view of what it means to put yourself out there, as a business person. He always says, You find a group of people and then you become relentlessly helpful. Susan: Yes! Slade: That, to him, is the definition of marketing. Find a group of people that speak your language, that are like-minded, and then go be relentlessly helpful. I love that. I don't know that I'm always pulling it off, but it's definitely in my mind to lean towards that, right? I feel my own practice expanding when I chose to do the podcast. It became a platform for other people to talk, not just me. And that was a huge shift! I was surprised, as someone who likes to control everything, you know, a perfectionist, south node in Virgo I think is the way you would say that... Susan: Yeah! Slade: Moving into that more Piscean kind of north node mindset or whatever, for me, has been about recognizing how good it feels to collaborate with people. Susan: Yeah. Listen Slade, south node in Virgo, right? Slade: Mmhmm. Susan: South node in Virgo people, it's not just that you're perfectionists. It's also that you've got this thing where you feel like everything is up to you. Nobody else is gonna do it so I gotta do it. And people with south node in Virgo, it's like you've got bleeding calluses on your hands, because you're the one doing all the work. Everybody else has already gone home and you're still doing it. And north node in Pisces is trying to say, Listen, there's a greater force of life at play here too. And you can allow that to contribute. It doesn't have to all be on you. Slade: Yes. Yes! Hence these wonderful interviews that I do. Do you realize how much easier it is for me to record an interview with you than it is to prepare an episode where it's just me? Just the actual workload of what is involved is so completely different. The energy is so different collaborating with people. And it feels so cool to be, to feel, I said to someone, I said, I feel like I'm kind of hosting a party for a bunch of people. I'm not teaching anyone anything. I'm inviting a lot of really interesting people to come together and hang out and interact. That's where it feels like it's growing, and I love that because it's actually easier, Susan. It's actually easier to let other people do some of the work, especially the parts that they're better at. Susan: And don't you know that's teaching people a lot? We're teaching people a lot in doing that. We're showing that you're a way-shower. Slade: Mmm... I've heard that before. Susan: The thing about a way-shower is that you go out in front and you figure things out. And then people are going, I don't know what to do. You go, Hang on, five more minutes. I've almost got it figured out. And you figure it out! And then you go, Okay, now I got it. And you show people the way. And what I've been trying to say to way-showers is, really think about that in the opposite direction too. Think about the miracle of you, figuring out a way, and showing people you haven't even met yet, people out there who feel lost, have someone up ahead thinking about them, and they don't even know their name. That's a miracle. Slade: Mmm... Thank you for that. That was really lovely. What do you hope to contribute to this greater collective, you know, when we think about personal development, and maybe that term isn't even a really good one anymore, from what you and I have been discussing and describing. But what do you hope to kind of contribute to the conversation about astrology, about spirituality, about human evolution. Susan: Oh, for sure, I know this sounds kind of grandiose but I really believe it, in my bones, that this wave of humanity, if you're alive on the planet today, you are part of a wave that is going to bring humanity out of suffering. We are the bridge between suffering and liberation. Sometimes that can feel like you're being pulled apart, like you don't know which side is going to win. But I'm telling you, that we are going to pull humanity all the way out of suffering and we are going to heal ourselves. Now is the time. That's the task that this generation, this wave of humanity, has. So whenever you feel overwhelmed with suffering, when you feel overwhelmed with pain, you feel overwhelmed in darkness, it's important to remember that this is the last of it. We're meant to get in and heal it all the way out. Don't stop. You have to keep going. Because that's what we're being called for to do. Slade: Susan, thank you for taking the time to come and speak with me today. Susan: My pleasure. Slade: So tell everybody where they can go to find you online, if they want to get a reading with you or if they want to find your podcast. Susan: I am at SusanGrace.org so you can read more about me there. Or under the Services page, where my readings are listed. And I also have a set of, what I call 'The Papers'. These are just short little write-ups I've done for trends that I see in people's charts. Those are available there too. Be the Evidence is under Be the Evidence, whatever podcast you're streaming, including iTunes. And then on SimpleCast we're under Be the Evidence as well. And on Facebook, I'm under Susan Grace, and on Instagram as well, Susan Grace. Slade: Wonderful. We'll put all those inks in the Show Notes to make it really easy. That was great, Susan. Thank you for coming on. Susan: Thank you for having me.

Dena DeCastro is a professional astrologer, writer, and teacher. She offers individual astrology readings and mentors those who wish to take their astrological knowledge to the next level. Dena teaches us what our north and south nodes can tell us about our karmic lessons and our life purpose. MENTIONED ON THE SHOW Linda Goodman's Sun Signs Jeane Dixon NORWAC The Mountain Astrologer GUEST LINKS - DENA DECASTRO denadecastro.com DeCastro Astrology on Facebook HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSON Slade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition FACEBOOK GROUP Shift Your Spirits Community BECOME A PATRON https://www.patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT Dena: So, when I was young in the '70s, my parents were both kind of hippie, you know, Bohemian, interested in all of that stuff. My dad actually read tarot cards, not for a living, but just as a hobby. My mom had a close friend who was an astrologer and they would sit at the dining room table and look at charts and dish on men and I was just fascinated, always. I would browse the books in the bookshelf. I was kind of an early reader, so I would just kind of nerd out on all the astrology books that my parents had. And so I just immediately, you know, I came from somewhere. I have a feeling I came from a past-life, probably. But this innate interest in astrology and the planets and even space and stars, was something that was just there when I was very little. I would say, starting at about 5. So I went on, throughout my teenage years, read a lot of the usual books. You know, Linda Goodman's 'Sun Signs' was one of them. That was like my bible when I was in junior high and I grew to be able to read charts, more about late high school age, college age, and I would practice on my friends and family. It just grew and it was always with me. Interesting side note, during that time when I was about 8 or 9, my mom became a born-again Christian, so she eschewed all of that. You know, tarot, astrology, all of that was out. And it was looked at as, you know, she said it's the dark arts. I don't think she used that word. That's more of a Harry Potter term actually. The Dark Arts. It was forbidden in our house and so I had to do it surreptitiously for awhile. But then she eventually switched back and became more open to, I would say, early New Age ideas or occult ideas. So there was a few years in there where it was like, on the sly, I had to do my astrology stuff. And then when I got into my late 20s, I had a friend of mine that suggested, 'You COULD do this for a living!' Could I? Could I really? So I put out my shingle and started charging for readings when I was right at my Saturn return, which is 28, 29 years old. And have been doing that ever since! Slade: Wow. So I have to ask you, you started way before we had computer software to do this stuff. Dena: Yeah. Slade: So at what point in your career did the technology come in and play a part? Or does it, at all? Dena: It did. Like, in the '90s, there were ways that you could order charts on, via the internet or mail order. That was kind of the way you did it. It's kind of funny. I learned to cast charts by hand in the late '90s finally. I had always had charts given to me so that was how I did it in the early days, like in my teenage years. Like, somebody already had a chart and I'd look at it. Slade: Oh, okay! Alright. So you're much more about the interpretation than the castings, even at that early age. Dena: Yes, right. Slade: Okay! I can relate to that. That would be true for me as well. I NEVER learned to cast a chart by hand, just for the record. Dena: It takes so long. It really is an onerous process. I know how to do it. If you had me do it today, gosh it's been maybe 18 years since I've actually cast a chart by hand. So it would be a tricky but it's good I think for astrologers to at least learn how to do. At least once. To get a sense of viscerally what's going on. Because the thing with technology now is that it detaches us from what the actual mechanics are of the solar system and the planets in relation to the earth. And for some reason, when you learn to cast a chart, you get more of a sense of, okay, the ascendant, for example, the rising sign, is the rising sign. Because that's what's actually rising on the Eastern horizon. So there's an example of that. That it's rooted to the physical world. With software, we can forget that sometimes and it just becomes a piece of paper in front of us. It's like, that's the glyph of Venus, but oh, there's a Venus in the sky as well. So that's a difference. But I think for time and for efficiency, you can't beat technology, for sure. Slade: No, definitely not. And I'm mostly just interested in, like if somebody can give me a list of what their planets are in and what houses everything's in, that's enough for me to work on. Dena: Yeah! Slade: I will say though, that I love the natal chart graphic - the cool geometric thing, and I think everybody's a little bit in love with that, right? There's a mystique about it. Dena: Yeah, certainly! The glyphs, the symbols, they're very beautiful. They're just aesthetically pleasing and it looks like something from the Renaissance, or it just has that kind of ancient feel and evokes that. So I do think there's the appeal of it. And I can, like you, if I just know somebody's birthday and they don't even have a time, I can look in ephemeris and say, 'Here's where all your planets were.' Maybe excepting the moon because it moves very fast but everything else I can pretty much know, that's where it was. Even with that I can get so much information. But having the visual of the chart works better for me. Just being able to see it laid out. Slade: That is so cool. I was very fascinated by that as a child. I had an aunt in the '70s who was friends with Jean Dickson. Dena: Oh wow! Slade: Do you remember her? Dena: Yeah, I do! Slade: She had - It's so funny when you were talking about your childhood experience of kind of going through the books in your parents' library. I used to go through HER books when I would visit. She lived in Florida. And when we would go down to visit, she had this library of '70s new age, feminist everything. And some of her books were astrology books that were autographed by Jean Dickson. And I always thought that was the most glamourous thing in the whole world, right? Dena: Very glamourous, for sure. She's probably one of THE most famous astrologers, at least from that era. She's a name that everybody knows. Slade: Right. And Linda Goodman's books. I remember those as well. So one of the things I'm really excited to talk to you about is kind of your niche of astrology, which is the connection between astrology and past lives. And also how the nodes play into that, and karmic patterns in the chart. I just would love to open up the floor and hear you talk about these relationships. Dena: You know, I'll start by saying, when I started practicing astrology, which was the late 1998, 1999, I really was doing the typical descriptive astrology. For example, your sun is in Aries. You are fiery, spontaneous, brash and bold. You know, something like that. That started to feel a little limiting to me. So I was searching... A few years into doing it, around 2002, 2001, 2002, I started to search for what more can I learn? I just felt this impulse that I needed to find a different approach, or another layer to my system. And so I went to an astrology conference here in the Northwest called NORWAC. It's the Northwest Astrology Conference. Steven Forrest was speaking there and he and Jeffrey Wolf Green are two astrologers that really founded this school of thought within astrology called Evolutionary Astrology. It's called 'evolutionary' because it is based on the premise that our souls do reincarnate and they move from lifetime to lifetime, learning lessons and evolving. The intention is evolution. And with that, the nodes, the south node represents the past life or karmic patterns, and north node represents what we are here to learn to become or to embrace. And the whole point of it is evolution. The whole point of it is growth and change. And it made so much more sense to me than the idea that we're just static. That we're born with this chart and that's just who we are for the rest of our lives. And the other main component, or the foundational belief in this type of astrology is the idea of free will. And that we make choices in our lifetimes that impact where we're going, the lessons we have to learn, and how we respond to those lessons with our free will really determines how we move along our path. How we move toward our Soul Purpose. So this all resonated with me. I had always believed in reincarnation. It's one of those beliefs that you can't really explain. It was a knowing. I just felt a knowing about it. I will say that, it's not that there isn't proof for reincarnation. There's a lot of good case studies out there and proof for reincarnation. But it is one of those things that people take on faith, and some people have a strong reaction one way or the other to that idea. But reincarnation is very much inherent in this niche of astrology that I practice. It's a foundational piece of it. That all being said, I went to study with Steven Forrest at his apprenticeship program. I did that for a few years and embraced this path within astrology, because it really resonated with what I already had felt and believed for most of my life. What it is that I think this kind of astrology offers that's a little different to some branches is the south node karmic patterns can point out: Here are the things in a past life that you experienced, and also that vexed you, or that upset you, or that's left unresolved at the time you left that life. And then when you came into this life as a soul, you carry some of that baggage with you. We call that 'karma', and that's a memory. An emotional memory of what went on. But we don't consciously remember that. So in this life, our work is to learn to release those old patterns and not to get stuck in repeating those karmic situations. But we're inclined to want to do so because we tend, as humans, to want to repeat what we've done before and what's comfortable. Even if it's painful. It can feel comfortable because it's familiar. So the north node points to, well what's the medicine for that? What can we do? That's where free will comes in. What can we do in THIS life to pull ourselves out of those old stuck patterns of the past? And the north node offers the medicine, the way, for us to move away from staying stuck and stagnant. So remember that the key point is growth. The key point is evolution. All of us, if we're born, we have karma. If we're born, we're also a living thing that needs to grow and evolve. If we stop doing that, if we stagnate on a soul level, we feel unfulfilled and bored and unhappy. So when clients come to me, what they're often looking for is, I'm kind of stuck. Or I'm in a place in my life where I'm trying to make a transition and I feel like I'm scared and I can't. What's blocking me? Or they're just, they have that general malaise. I just don't have the joy for life. I'm feeling like I'm not on my path but I can't really figure out what to do to get on it, or to get back to it. And so the nodes are very powerful to look at that and say, Okay, well here's what's in your way. Here's the karmic patterns of the past. Here is where you can get stuck very easily, repeating these patterns. And then here, the north node is what you're here to learn and to embrace. And the more you move TO that, even if it's scary, even if it feels challenging, which it will, the more you move toward that, the more you make choices in that direction, the more fulfillment and peace and joy for life you can gain back. So that's the overview with how I see it. Slade: So if I tell you what my north node is, can you tell me... Since I'm the one that's here talking to you, we'll use my chart as an example. Dena: Absolutely! Slade: I have a north node in Pisces. What can you tell me about that? Dena: Yes! Well I can speak to that because so do I! Slade: Oh, interesting! Dena: So let me just say about that too. The nodes go to a new sign about every year and a half. So you can know that if you're born within a close time frame to someone, that you very likely have the same nodes. They're are like these mini generations. 1.5 years of the same. And that pattern repeats every 18, 19 years. They will come back around to the same nodes. So yeah. So we have the same ones. I think we're both born in '69, right? Slade: Yes! July 23rd. Dena: Oh, gosh! Same month! Ohmygoodness. Slade: Wow. Dena: I'm July 8th. Slade: Okay. Dena: So I can speak to this pretty well. But just because we have the same nodes doesn't mean like I know everything about this, because I'm working with the same struggles, right? Slade: Okay. Dena: So if you have the north node in Pisces, that means you have the south node in Virgo. The nodes are always opposite signs to each other, always at 180 degrees. So once you know one, you can figure out the other. Let's start with the past-life karmic pattern for you. South node in Virgo is really attached in past lives to doing things perfectly because you may have had a job or a position which required you to have a certain level of perfection in what you did. For example, being a doctor. If you make a mistake being a doctor, something really disastrous could happen, right? Or even being an artist or a crafts person where you have to get all the details just right or else it's just a big mess. People aren't going to like it, right? There's this high level perfectionism that was instilled in you in a past life. The tendency with south node in Virgo is to beat yourself up for every mistake. That's the karmic baggage that comes in to this life with you is self-flagellation, tending to beat yourself up for every mistake, having higher standards for yourself than anyone else in your life. Resonating much? Slade: Yes. Dena: And Mercury is the planetary ruler here. So Mercury rules Virgo and Mercury is a planet of mind. So your intellectual abilities in this past life were over the top. Like you probably had great powers of analysis and the ability to understand what's wrong in every situation and know how to fix it, right? And so you bring that into this life. In a way there are some gifts there too. It's not that the south node is entirely negative. We bring in past life gifts. Like, okay, you come in with those intellectual skills. You come in with that ability to do things almost perfectly. You come in with that ability to analyze and fix situations. But if you stay there, if you stay there in this life, if you keep doing that and really go into that south node territory, you will feel anxiety and you will feel unfulfilled and you will feel like I'm never getting into where I want to be, because I can't be perfect, right? Slade: Mmm... Dena: None of us can be. So the fear with south node in Virgo and north node in Pisces is letting go of control. This is where we're starting to move toward Pisces because Pisces, north node in Pisces says, Well the medicine is to move toward the Pisces territory. So letting go of control. Allowing yourself to make mistakes and have compassion for those mistakes. And trusting in something beyond yourself. Having faith that there are powers greater than we that are taking care of things. And that we don't have to take care of it all. We don't have to micromanage every aspect of our lives. So speaking as a co-person with this set-up, I can say, this has guided me immensely in my life knowing this. Because, and for you, you can speak to this as well. I'd love to hear what you have to say about it. But just knowing that I'm here to develop compassion for myself and that I'm here learning to let more things go. I've been listening to your podcast, right? I've heard you speak about allowing yourself to make B+s, instead of... Slade: Yes! Dena: Like, Perfect! You're right on track! That's what I'm talking about. Slade: Yeaaaaah. Dena: It's a need for self-acceptance in a radical way. Like, not just 'Oh, I accept myself.' We can all say that from a head place. But the PRACTICE, the spiritual practice of self-compassion, self-acceptance and actually being able to spot when you are holding yourself up to that too-high standard, and then saying, Ok, I've gotta let that go. I've just gotta let that go. Slade: I have to give you some feedback around this because of course, my mentoring clients know how much I stress how important it is to get feedback from outside your own head about your readings. And so I just want everyone also listening to know how incredibly accurate that is for me, just from that one little thing I told you - my north node in Pisces. You were able to really nail a lot of the issues that I have. Perfectionism in particular with writing is a constant... like you said, it's both a gift and a curse. I have much higher standards for myself than I do for other people. The thing that was so liberating about blogging 13 years ago or whenever it was when I first started doing it was, it relaxed the expectation for writing. Dena: Yes. Slade: So much. It made it so accessible and it made the feedback immediate. And it allowed me to really grow as a writer, because instead of going off and, like you said, beating myself up and questioning myself and being alone in my own head bubble, you know, tearing myself to pieces and having this wizardly war with my own ego. And, you know, it's a hard creative process to live inside that. And so, one of the things that's so interesting about why I feel like Shift Your Spirits is so successful, out of all the other kinds of projects that I've written, is because it had such a low expectation going in. And that's not to say that I don't put myself into it. I just have a real relaxed attitude about it, that I don't about some other kinds of writing. I was like, 'Oh, it's a blog.' Dena: Yeah. Slade: And it's so funny because that blogging allowed me to build an audience, to write for people, to have a lot of iterations. So, eh, this week's kinda sucked. Next week's might be amazing. And you start to notice these patterns as a perfectionist. The things that people respond to the most are not necessarily the things that you put the most effort into or the ones that are your favourites. Sometimes, for example, the Money Shift is the best-selling piece of writing that I've ever put out into the world and I did it in three days. And it was just merely a 'oh, I just need to put this message out'. I'm repeating myself here in my readings. Let's just put it in a little tutorial. Dena: Right. Slade: And there's something about that lack of having high expectations that is extremely freeing and, you know, I stress this for other writers as well: Put out a lot of work. Blogs and social media allow us to really develop our voice and to test what people are responding to. At some point, when you have an audience, the biggest liberation of all is having you guys to talk to. And to write for. Dena: Right.. Slade: I'm just feeding you guys your toast and scrambled eggs every day. Dena: Yeah! Slade: There's something that feels liberating also as a perfectionist to be able to step back and to serve people. Dena: Yes. Slade: Which I think maybe getting to some of that Pisces energy that you're talking about. Not only turning it over to a higher power, but also realizing I am participating not just from my ego but I'm participating on behalf of these thousands of people who want me to do it. And so, it's a sense of duty and a sense of something bigger than me that I am both pulling from and also displaying to. Dena: Yeah. Slade: It's really cool. Interestingly, my mom has the same north node and I do run across people here and there that share that and, interesting synchronicity there, it would be you of all people! Dena: I know! Slade: That is an example of the kind of thing that people would get if they contact you for a session, right? Dena: That's true. And yes, you can get such an amazing amount of information just from knowing the nodes. Just like you said at the beginning, we were talking about knowing sun moon rising sign, we were talking earlier about that. That is a foundational piece - sun moon and rising sign. You can get so much information just from those three pieces. And then same with the nodes. If I know just THAT, I tell that to people and they're like, 'Ohmygod, you just spelled out my whole life.' Slade: Yes! Dena: So it's such a powerful tool. It's not a substitute for getting a full reading. And I want to say that because, looking at the chart wholistically will always give you the most depth of analysis and the most understanding. But having this piece as guidance is huge. So something I ... yeah, go ahead. Slade: I was just gonna say, I know that probably a lot of people listening DO know a lot about their chart. They have had their chart done and stuff. So one of the reasons why I really like what you you just did for me for example is, you went in and focused on and embellished a very specific area. So it actually refreshes my excitement in my chart and knowing that, 'Ohhh! There's all these little things that I can still deep dive into, that maybe I feel a little blasé about my chart. Now I'm like, 'Ooo wow!' It does kind of rekindle an interest to have something that is connected to Purpose. Because, like yourself, that is a question that a lot of my clients come with as well. Dena: Yes! And I think you feel excited because it's empowering. This kind of information is empowering. That's one thing I aim to do with the kind of readings that I do is to empower people with the tools to make good decisions for themselves and to take the reigns of their own life and to make their free will choices. That's what this information provides you with. It's like, 'Okay, I know I can move toward Pisces. I know sometimes it's going to be hard. Sometimes I'm going to resist it and want to stay stuck in the Virgo territory. The shadow Virgo. But I can choose differently. Slade: How does that manifest for you personally? Like, where does this Pisces/Virgo duality kind of play out in your world, and how do you combat that, or, you know, heal that? Dena: Well the first thing that comes to mind is writing, for sure. I'm a writer. I've done a blog for a lot of years. Astrology, I wrote some astrology articles for the Mountain Astrologer. I also began writing fiction. I've taken a few stabs at it and "failed" attempts of novels over the last dozen, 15 years. Recently, I finally finished a first draft of a novel. And what I had to do during the process of that, and to get through it and to actually get it done and put it into, actually get it to the place where I could pitch it at a writers' conference recently, which I did, was to constantly be talking to that Virgo part of myself by embodying the Pisces. And say, 'I hear you, inner critic. I hear that this isn't perfect. I hear that it sucks. All those voices.' I had to label that south node Virgo voice. Similar to how people use the inner critic, right? That 'Okay, you're the inner critic. I hear you. Go sit in the corner because I'm going to keep writing this book.' Every day. It was... I have to tell you, it was a bit of a fight. A lot of parts of it were very intense and very challenging. But I brought in the Pisces consciously and said, 'Okay, it's all good. You're doing great. No matter what you do, at least you're doing it. And what matters is that you like it.' And what matters is that YOU have fun with it. And that's a very Piscean kind of like, 'Hey, no big deal. Go with the flow.' It's THAT attitude. Slade: Mmm... I call this... It's so funny because I call that angel and devil the Flow Drafting Voice and the Editor. Dena: Yeah! Slade: And the Flow Drafting Voice is the same channel that my intuition rides alongside and so, when you are in a first-draft mode, you don't need to be, you don't need the Editor. It's like, You come back later. On a re-write. You come back when we start to take it apart and do re-writes and edits and polishing and all that. You've got plenty of work to do so sit down and shut up. Right now we're just flowing. We're just being a hippie chick here. Dena: Exactly. Slade: That's kind of how I see that Pisces flow voice as being this kind of bare-foot, flowers in her hair, creative type of energy, you know? Dena: Yeah! Slade: Gosh, we have a lot in common! Wow. Dena: Yeah. Well it's probably because we're born in the same month. Slade: That is so interesting! You know what? I don't meet a lot of people born... like, I rarely meet July Leos at all. Because there's just not a lot of us. There's just that one little week. And then I don't meet a lot of people born the same year. I've heard that we are one of the smallest populations that's alive right now. Yeah. The Gen-X population is REALLY small compared to the Boomers and then the ones that came after. We are greatly outnumbered. Dena: Yes. Yes. I would agree. I feel that. And I know something about that little mini-tribe of 1969 people that... There was quite a lot going on with the planets that summer. They were all lining up. You know where that little traffic jam of planets is in your chart, I'm sure. And it's right on the south node. So I'll speak to that real briefly here and say that in your chart, in an individual's chart, I'm just speaking generally, those nodes can be interacting with any combination of planets. It could be that the south node is conjunct, meaning it's right on other planets in your chart, Jupiter, Pluto, what have you. And so that will also add layers to the interpretation that I would do in an individual reading, to look at what is aspecting the nodes, what planets are conjunct, or square, mostly in hard aspects to the nodes is what I tend to look at. So that gives information to the story here. And I do draw a past life story. You know, I tell a story. Now it's not a literal past life reading and that's something that I want to make clear. I don't actually see if you were Benjamin Franklin in a past life. Slade: Right. Dena: That's not what this is. It is more about general themes. But I do weave it into a story because story telling is what I like to do. And it's a mode that works for people to try to understand something. So I'll say, I'll give that caveat to somebody and, okay, I'm going to tell you a story and it's not a literal story but it encapsulates an emotional truth or an emotional dynamic of what happened to you in a past life. That's how I approach reading that and then bringing in the other planets, that is to say, to inform the south node. Slade: Okay. So for someone maybe like myself, who does work with astrology a little bit, you have a mentorship program where you work with people taking astrology to the next level. Is that something that you do with more professional-type mindset? Tell me about the mentorship program. Dena: Yes! My mentorship program is to work one-on-one with those who want to learn more about astrolgoy. It could be even a beginner that really just wants to use it for their own edification, for their own purposes. Most of the clients that I work with are either astrologers or somebody about, on the verge to become a professional astrologer, and they're just a little hesitant about taking that leap, you know? They don't feel quite like they have all the... There are some missing pieces in what they know, or there's some insecurity there. And then there are also counsellors, therapists, psychologists. People who want to use this as part of their profession. And I've had a couple of those clients. And that's been really rewarding for me to work with those people. So I teach the basics but that's not what I really teach in the mentorship program. I'm more focused on, 'Let's go in to what do you feel are your missing pieces?' 'Where do you feel there are gaps in your knowledge?' And let's go into those. And then I also speak to things like, how to become a professional astrologer. What's the business end of it? What do I know from my experience about how to do this in a way that's going to be successful and in a way that is ethical. So we talk about the things that will help them to make it a business, if that's what they wish to do with it. Slade: I'm really excited about this because in my professional intuitive mentoring, I touch on astrology just in a very brief way. And like I said, I do tend to work with what I call, sort of, elemental astrology, which is the sacred elements, earth, air, fire, water, and I kind of speak symbolically to those dynamics. The people are often asking me about going deeper into the astrology component itself, and I always say to them, 'You know what? It needs it's own course.' I can't just kind of shoehorn that into a chapter or something. It's not gonna happen. Dena: Right. Slade: So I'm really excited to hear about what you do in that mentorship program, because it sounds like a lot of people listening right now are gonna be excited about it. I know you make ME want to be an astrologer now. I'm like, I could do this! Dena: You could do it! You probably have a lot more experience than you give yourself credit for. If you've been doing it since you were a kid, I'm sure it's probably really in your bones. Slade: Well I have a hard not using it. I have a hard time not speaking... I mean, in my family, if you're dating someone, you just say things like, 'Well he has a moon in cancer.' And you go, 'Ahh!' It's like, five pages of information just went running through their head. Dena: Totally, yeah. Slade: So we do have a tendency to use it, almost like a Jungian kind of psychoanalytical vocabulary, if you wanna be kind of high brow about it, which I do think that one of the attractions to me with astrology is it allows me to use that archetypal language that you also find in the tarot and that kind of thing. Dena: Yes. Slade: So I do play with that language a lot. I was considering no longer asking for birth data when I do my intuitive readings, because sometimes so many people don't know it, and they get stressed that somehow it's going to impact their reading. And I kind of backed away from that. But this kind of makes me want to leave it in a little bit. Dena: Oh yeah! Slade: Yeah. Because it's... you're making me really aware of how much I do love astrology and have always been interested in the nodes, because I have to tell you just really quickly, my mom... Sometimes I get a chart done for my birthday. And I think when I was about 15 years old, my mom had discovered this woman named Barbara Alexander, if she's still out there. And she was really excited to take me to Barbara, because Barbara was also a clinical psychotherapist. She had degrees and had a practice as a psychotherapist. When you would go to her office, it was very academic and official. It looked like what you would imagine a psychologist office would look like. She recorded the session, which was something I hadn't had happen before. She talked to me about the north node in Pisces and was the first person to put that in mind, that the north node was about, kind of, Purpose. And she also told me that my writing career would take off in my mid-to-late 30s, which was absolutely true. Dena: That's on! Yeah. Slade: I don't know if that's the same for you as well, if it worked out to be that same time period. Anyway, I'm curious to know, what do you hope to contribute to the greater conversation about astrology? What would you kind of like your legacy to be around this subject? Dena: I guess one of the big things I like to bust out there about misconceptions of astrology is that it's not fortune-telling. It's not future prediction, and some people do use it that way. What I want to contribute is the idea that astrology is a powerful tool for self-development, for self-understanding, and then also to give you the ability to choose what you do in your life, because you become more conscious of yourself and your patterns through this kind of awareness of the charts. Through evolutionary astrology. I'm not saying that evolutionary is the only path. There are so many different kinds of astrology and so many different branches. You'll know if you just go on the internet. What I really want to impart is a more empowered free will focused way of using astrology and that's what I hope to contribute. Slade: You have a free e-book people can download called Your Karmic Past and Your Life Purpose. Tell us about that. Dena: Yes. So if you go to my website, up in the upper right hand corner you'll see a little box that says exactly that. If you subscribe, you get a free gift: Your Karmic Past and Your Life Purpose. Within that, there is a table where you can look up your birth date and you'll be able to find your nodes sign. Just by looking up your birthday. So it really breaks it down very easily. I give some introductory information about the nodes, what they mean, what is karma... I go more deeply into that topic. And then for each sign of the north node south node combination, I lay out what is the karmic pattern, what are the big fears that block you, what is your growing edge, meaning what are you here to learn. And then I also give some affirmations. So for example, for Pisces north node, the affirmations are, I accept myself exactly as I am. That one sounds a little Stuart Smalley. But that's okay. And I trust that I am taken care of within the greater order of things. Another one is, I go with the flow of life. So that's an example of affirmations that can help that particular node combination. North node Pisces, south node Virgo. And then I, at the end of that document, you'll find frequently asked questions about the nodes. What about past lives? Does it mean... Can you see if I'm Benjamin Franklin in a past life? That kind of information. And then finally, in that document, there are resources for further reading, if you want to read about really good books about reincarnation and evolutionary astrology listed there. So yeah! You can find that at my website. Slade: Oh gosh. That's a great resources. Tell us where we can go to find you online. Dena: So I'm at www.denadecastro.com/ and I'm also on Facebook now. I just started back there after nine years away. And actually, Slade, you are part of the reason that I came back to Facebook. Slade: Yay! Dena: I really wanted to be part of your group. There are a couple of other groups too that I've just really wanted to participate in and I want to start a couple of groups there. So my Facebook is Dena DeCastro Astrology and you can find me that way too. Slade: Excellent. We'll put all those links in the show notes for everyone. And for those who joined the Shift Your Spirits community, they will be able to go online and ask you questions, and we'll have a post featuring this interview so you can interact and everyone can tag you and talk to you more about this subject. Dena, I am so excited to meet you. This was such a great conversation. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Dena: Thank you, Slade, for having me. It was great.

Real Life DinnersFun, Fresh, Fast Dinners From the Creator Of The Chic SiteBy Rachel Hollis Suzy Chase: Welcome to the Cookery by the Book podcast with me, Suzy Chase.Rachel Hollis: Hi. I'm Rachel Hollis, and my latest cookbook is called Real Life Dinners.Suzy Chase: I just have to say that you're my very special 100th episode guest, and I can't thank you enough for coming on my podcast again to talk about cookbook number two. You're the co-CEO of The Hollis Company, an entrepreneur, a motivational speaker, social media influencer, mom of four, wife to Dave, and a New York Times and Amazon best-seller. Now, you show us how to handle dinner in your new cookbook Real Life Dinners. It's one of those cookbooks for real life. Now, how has dinner played a pivotal role in your life?Rachel Hollis: Well, dinner is one of my favorite, no, it is the favorite meal, and so many of the best memories in my life happened around a dinner table. Sometimes that dinner table was my own. Sometimes it was my grandmother's sometimes it was a little table somewhere in Italy when we were on vacation, but as I started to dream of what the next cookbook would be, I really wanted to celebrate the meal that I loved the most, and I also, as a mom of four, dinner is what I'm constantly trying to figure out. It's the only meal that I really cook. I mean, sometimes we do breakfast on the weekends, but I'll be super honest and tell you that more often than not, it's Cheerios or toast or waffles, but dinner is where I really, my heart is there. I really put a ton of effort into making sure that we're eating good dinners. I thought, I can't be the only woman who's trying to figure this out. When I buy cookbooks, that's the only kind of cookbook I buy is things that are going to help me get dinner on the table, and I just wanted to show my own.Suzy Chase: You wrote in the introduction, "Sometimes I'm so busy working on ways to help other women live a better life than I run out of time and my kids eat turkey sandwiches, or worse, just straight up turkey rolled around a piece of string cheese for dinner." What is your planning strategy so this doesn't happen?Rachel Hollis: My favorite practice that I've adopted in the last couple of years is prepping for my week on Saturday or Sunday. It's a really fantastic way to meal prep. I take the time, I figure out what are the lunches and snacks that I want to be able to take to work with me during the week or that my husband wants for breakfast. I prep those, as well as figuring out what we're going to have for dinner on that Sunday. I'll do all my grocery shopping, and I'll get the stuff that I'm going to prep as well as the things that I want to make for dinner later in the week. That way, if I'm going to, let's say, marinate some steak or do something that requires a little prep work, I'll get it all done then so that when Tuesday rolls around and I'm going to grill up that meat for Dave, it's ready to go, and I've done it in advance. I'm trying to take as much work out of the process as I possibly can to ensure that we're, frankly, eating healthy because I can get dinner on the table for you all day long, but when I'm in a hurry or I'm in doubt, I'm going to reach for things that aren't as great a choice for what we're eating. I'm going to reach for stuff that's probably really carb-based and taste delicious, but doesn't help us stay in a healthy way of life. I found that by prepping, I remove a lot of the stress from my life, as well as I feel better about what I'm feeling my family.Suzy Chase: It's funny because one of your mottos is "we're not going to have a dream, we're going to have a plan." I guess that translates to cooking too.Rachel Hollis: Yeah. I think if you are waiting until you're hungry to try and figure out what you're going to eat, you're in trouble. In fact, I can tell you that earlier in my life, years ago when I had my first baby, and I really, really struggled with my weight, it was because, like a lot of moms, I wasn't taking care of myself. I would get to 4:00 and realize I hadn't really eaten anything, and then all of a sudden, I'd eat everything in the kitchen. What I was choosing were really bad things, like, "Oh, I'll eat a box of Ritz crackers," so-Suzy Chase: I was just going to say Ritz-Rachel Hollis: Yeah right?Suzy Chase: ... and with some cheese.Rachel Hollis: Yes, exactly, but I'm way more likely to succeed with a plan that I've set for myself if I'm intentional about planning for it.Suzy Chase: Describe the progressive photos that come with each recipe in the cookbook.Rachel Hollis: The idea of showing step-by-step photos has been a part of any recipe I've created since the very beginning. I actually got my start in this space as a food blogger, which is very surprising to a lot of people because that isn't as much what I do now. I'm much more known for motivational speaking or writing books about hopefully making choices to change your life for the better, but I got my start as a food blogger, and when I first started, most of my audience were not people who felt super comfortable in the kitchen. The step-by-step photos were just my way of trying to ensure that you knew exactly how it was supposed to look at each stage. I try not to take for granted that you know what it's supposed to look like when it's mixed up or that you know the texture of that piece of meat when it's medium versus well-done. The photos are my way of trying to help you along. I think as a blogger, I was always so mindful of the idea that if you failed when you try something new, if you try a recipe or a craft, and you fail at it, it's probably my fault as the writer or the blogger for not explaining it to you in enough detail, but the problem is you don't blame me, you blame yourself.Suzy Chase: Yes.Rachel Hollis: When you blame yourself for failing at something new, you're not likely to try it again. I've been really intention with wanting to be very explanatory when we do anything to make sure that you understand. From a cookbook perspective, you'll see this a lot, there are plenty of cookbooks where only a certain amount of the recipes even have a hero shot, and very few have hero and, a hero is the big, beautiful shot at the end, in case listeners don't know, but very few have the hero shot as well as the step shots. Even though it's much more expensive, that was a must-have for me because if you've learned to follow along my recipes, that way, I want to make sure you have what you need to succeed.Suzy Chase: It's funny that you just mention it, because I just realized how often I have to Google what it looks like that I'm making out of a cookbook because there's not a picture with it.Rachel Hollis: Yes. You need to know, especially even if you are a cook, if you've not done that recipe before, you're like, "I don't know ... Is this supposed to have grill marks? Is this supposed to have a char?" I think it really helps you, even if you are familiar, you feel comfortable in the kitchen, it really helps you to get to that end-result that's most ideal if you have a visual of where you're headed.Suzy Chase: One busy mom move is to throw together brinner, breakfast-dinner, and you have a whole chapter devoted to it. Talk about how having something for dinner that's not really dinner makes it feel special.Rachel Hollis: I think ... This is something that felt always special to me as a little girl was getting to eat something when you weren't supposed to be allowed to eat it, if that makes sense. The story I tell in the book is being a little girl and going to dinner. We're on a family road trip, and my mom let me order a milkshake for dinner. Frankly, I think she's just so tired of four kids in a car and a long trip that she's like, "Man, get whatever you want. Just please stop screaming," but I got to have a milkshake for dinner. I still remember that 30 years later how special it felt. For me, having breakfast for dinner, like if we do waffles or pancakes or we have eggs and bacon, it always feels like a treat for our family. Truthfully, a lot of breakfast dishes are much easier for me to whip up quickly than meat or a casserole or something like that. I had to do an entire chapter on breakfast for dinner because it was such a part of my life. I think the story-telling reminds me of something that I saw. I'll tell you, Suzy, I don't read reviews of my books ever. I've made a pretty big deal. I've talked about that a lot on social. I do not read reviews. I learned not to do that years ago because good reviews make you feel awesome and bad reviews make you cry, so I just don't-Suzy Chase: Aw.Rachel Hollis: Because I feel like, "Hey, I'm not for everybody, and that's fine," but the other day, I happened to be on Amazon. I was looking at something for the cookbook. I was trying to get the link for it to post on social, and I just happened to see something that was like two stars. I was like, "No," and then thought, "Well, I have to read. I have to see what she said. I'm not ... I'm human. I want to know what she didn't like." The thing she didn't like about this cookbook, which I think is important to tell your listeners, is there's a lot of storytelling. For me, because I write fiction and because I write nonfiction, my fan's favorite part of the book is the story behind it. Why did you cook this? Why do you care about this thing? When did this show up in your life? This woman was like, "There aren't ... I don't want storytelling. I want the straight recipe. This feels like a waste of my time." I thought, food, and especially dinner, it isn't just the food. It's the experience. I never wanted to give you just the recipe. I wanted to tell you why this was meaningful and powerful in my life.Suzy Chase: You have one brinner ... It's so funny to say that, brinner.Rachel Hollis: That's-Suzy Chase: Brinner-Rachel Hollis: Yeah, that's what we called it.Suzy Chase: You can make your breakfast strata on page 34, let's say, on Sunday, and then you can serve it on Monday night for dinner, so that goes along with your meal prep philosophy too.Rachel Hollis: Yeah, and there's a whole section in the book of ... I don't know if you've ever seen Steel Magnolias, but it's always what I think of something that freezes beautifully. There's a whole section on food that you can prep in advance or you can marinate and throw in the freezer and then thaw it later because, again, this is real life. None of these recipes require a ton. You don't have to prep things in advance, but if you're busy like I am and that's helpful to your life, we want to make that as easy as possible to achieve.Suzy Chase: Do you have a favorite go-to summer recipe in this cookbook?Rachel Hollis: There's an entire chapter on grilling. That was really intentional because during the summer, we are just grill fanatics. We were grill fanatics in California, but I will tell you that we moved to Texas about a month ago, and it is just hotter than heck here. I mean, people told me it was going to be hot. I didn't really understand, and now, I'm like, "Okay, I got you," so we've been grilling almost every night. The one that I keep coming back to over and over because I eat fish, I don't eat meat, is there's a cedar plank salmon recipe in the book that I love. I use a spice blend in the beginning of the book. It's four of my spice blends that you can create in your own kitchen. It is a Moroccan Spice Blend that I put all over that salmon and then put it on a cedar plank. It cooks so easy. I feel like it seems like a scary recipe because you're like, "What is this wood that I'm incorporating into my grill," but honestly it is kind of the most foolproof fish that I think you can do anywhere, on the grill or even sauteing or baking or whatever. That's a favorite. I've been making it over and over and over. But I also think the whole grill chapter, I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I'm really proud of the grilling recipes in it because there's everything. There's fish, and there's meat, and there's vegetarian options. If you're having a cookout this summer, I feel like it's a winner.Suzy Chase: Speaking of spice blends, you are obsessed with spices and have, as you said, four spice blend recipes in this cookbook. Describe the Fiesta Blend, and what can we use that on?Rachel Hollis: I really ... When I was younger and didn't know as much about cooking, let's say I was newly married, spice blends gave me courage and gave me confidence because I didn't feel confident enough in the kitchen to think, "Oh, I could put a little cumin on this and maybe some garlic and some salt." I didn't know enough about flavors to make my own thing. I would go to the store, and I'd say, "Well, I'm going to make fajitas, and so I'm going to get Fajita Mix or I'm going to get a Fiesta Mix, and that's going to have the flavors that I need." The thing with spice blends is that they can be really expensive, and so I thought, well, could I give people a recipe for how you could use spices and herbs that are already in your cabinet and mix them together to make a blend. The Fiesta Blend is something you can use on anything that has a little bit of, needs a little bit of Latin flair, and that can be anything from your meat, your fajitas, your tacos to eggs. I think they all work really well. I wanted to give something that was a different flavor palette for no matter, no matter what you were cooking, you had something that you could use.Suzy Chase: I think I remember last winter, you went to Kansas City, which is the reason I remember this is because I'm from Kansas City, to meet about developing your own spice blend.Rachel Hollis: Yes. You're so right. Originally, the spice blend were blends that I was using. I thought, "I'm going to create these things, and then I'm going to sell them." To be totally honest with you, I just came off an appearance on QVC with my first cookbook. I've done so much TV over the years, and QVC just felt like this magical pairing of my skill set, like, oh, I know how to be on camera, and I also know how to have a product that I think other women will like, I should develop my own. I started to work on the spice blends, and to be honest with you, it was such a long process. It was start and stop and start and stop, and what really ended up taking me out of the process was not the length of time, was that I was really struggling to create something that would last on shelves but that wouldn't include chemicals that I didn't want to put in my food.Suzy Chase: Oh.Rachel Hollis: I personally stay away from things ... If there's something in your ingredients that you can't pronounce, it's probably not good for you. A lot of what are in spice blends are things that they put in there so that they don't cake. If you've ever had spices where it gets clumpy, it probably doesn't have these agents in it to keep them from caking. The more we worked on it, there really wasn't a way to make what I wanted to make and have the flavor I wanted to make without putting chemicals in it that would preserve the food. Interestingly enough, I found out so much about spices and how there's a chemical that's in almost every single spice that exist that, I don't know how else to explain it except to say that it sort of, like if you put it in your mouth, the thing that's hottest in your spice blend will hit your taste buds first, and it kind of wipes out all the other flavors that are there, but if you add this chemical, which I can't think of the name of it right now, there's something in it that makes it so that when you taste the blend, you're able to taste everything, and that-Suzy Chase: That's weird.Rachel Hollis: There was a massive difference between one and the other, one with and one without. I just thought, I just can't do it because I've talked so much to people about how much I try and make sure my kids aren't taking in things that they don't need, and I was like, "Oh, you're going to be a hypocrite," so I decided to just make the spice blends available to you in the cookbook. If you notice, the blends are done in small batches. That's so you could use up what you got there without it having to sit for a really long time on your shelf, which means it's not going to cake, and it's still going to give you those flavors that you want, but it's in your own kitchen in a little mason jar. You can keep it on the cabinet, and you're ready to go.Suzy Chase: Well, frankly, I think that's smarter too because we have those spices already in our kitchen, so we can make a little batch. I think that long process, going through trying to make your own spice blend brought you to that.Rachel Hollis: Absolutely.Suzy Chase: Last week, I made your recipe for tuna stuffed avocados on page 154.Rachel Hollis: Yes.Suzy Chase: It was so fast to make, and filling, and I loved the basil. Tuna is one of those foods that you can have more than once a week, and it's so versatile.Rachel Hollis: Absolutely. In fact, when I meal prep on Sundays, I almost always make tuna salad because it can sit in the fridge for several days, and I can have it for lunch, or in a pinch, I can throw it in an avocado like in the cookbook, and I've got something to fill me up. Again, my protein of choice is fish, so it's a great option for me. My kids will eat it. My husband will eat it. I think I'm always trying to come you up with new and different ways to serve the same kind of things, and adding in something like basil just gives it a different flavor that you're used to, but I think it's so yummy.Suzy Chase: What existed in lifestyle media when you started was only what was perfect, beautiful, and airbrushed. Right now, I would love for you to talk a little bit about what's going on, other than your cookbook, The Hollis Company, Made for More movie, Rise Couples Weekend, Rise podcast, and whatever else is new in your world. There've been so many announcements-Rachel Hollis: So many things.Suzy Chase: ... lately. So many.Rachel Hollis: When I first started as a blogger, I mentioned earlier, I started as a food blogger, and honestly, my career as a blogger has really just followed me as a woman. Five or six years ago, I was trying to figure out how to feed toddlers. I was trying to figure out how to make dinners for my husband and myself that our kids would eat. I was doing food blogging because that's the stage I was at in my life. Later in my career, I started to focus on DIY and how to decorate a home because we had a new home, and I wanted to decorate it. I really have just organically brought my audience along for the ride. In the last few years, I've done a ton of work on personal growth and how do I get past some of the things that I'm dealing with like anxiety. As I was walking through those seasons, the audience started to ask, like, "Hey, how did you get past that? How did you learn to do this? How did you set a goal and achieve it?" I started to share my process with them, and it really has just grown, again, organically into what the business is today. We are The Hollis Company. My husband actually just left a really big job to come and help me run this thing that has just exploded, which I will tell you, Suzy, back in the day, my intention, we wrote it down on the wall, was to give women the tools to change their lives. Five years later, that is still the line that's on our walls. Back in the day, I was hoping that the tools to change your life would be found in a casserole recipe because, to me, getting dinner on the table a lot of times felt like the greatest achievement I had in a day-Suzy Chase: Totally.Rachel Hollis: ... and now, giving you the tools to change your life looks more like how to be intentional and how to have a gratitude practice and how to be kinder with yourself. I had a book come out in February called Girl, Wash Your Face, and the response to that book has been the most incredible, sometimes overwhelming, but the most incredible experience of my professional career. It has just exploded, and as it exploded, it really opened up the fan base and gave us more women who wanted more content, and so that's what we do. We have personal growth conferences, both for women by themselves and in couples, and we made ... This sounds crazy, all the things that we've done, but when we were producing our conference this year, I had thousands and thousands of emails from women all over the world who were saying, "I want so badly to come to the conference, but I can't afford it. I can't afford the travel." I really started to dream about how we might be able to bring them the experience of one of our live event weekends without the expense. The answer to that was we made a documentary about the weekend. It will be in movie theaters in August 2nd throughout North America, so it's in both the US and Canada, and you can go to letsrise.co, which has all the information about the movie and our live events if you're curious, but it's a way to check out what we do and see the magic and the power of going to a personal growth conference for the cost of a movie ticket, which is about 13 bucks. We are really, really excited and proud of what we've built and are continuing to build. It'll be fun to see what happens next.Suzy Chase: I'm excited for that too. I already have my ticket and-Rachel Hollis: Aw, thank you.Suzy Chase: ... I'm getting together a big group of girls here in New York City to go see it.Rachel Hollis: How fun, and that's what we're hoping honestly. The most incredible thing about this online tribe that we have created is the community of women. It really is what makes our live event so special is we say from the stage, there is nobody here who doesn't have a friend. If you see a woman standing by herself, she just became your buddy. Nobody sits alone. We are all going to do life together. There is something that happens. There's an energy that happens in that space when women from every walk of life are really intentional about, "Hey, let's go grab a glass of wine," "Hey, let's go talk about this," "Hey, let's go have lunch," because you find commonality in people when you didn't think you had anything in common. I'm super excited to hear that you guys are going to go in a group because I really think that is the best way to experience this particular event.Suzy Chase: Where can we find you on the web and social media?Rachel Hollis: I'm all over the place. I'm on every place you could possibly find me, but my favorite to hang out is definitely Instagram. I love Instagram. It's so pretty, but my handle is @msrachelhollis, M-S Rachel Hollis, and then I'm Rachel Hollis on every platform that there is. You can find me anywhere you go.Suzy Chase: From a girl growing up on Weedpatch Highway to a super popular lifestyle expert and CEO, you are such an inspiration, and I'm so honored to have you on my hundredth cookbook podcast. Thank you so much, Rachel Hollis, for coming on Cookery by the Book podcast.Rachel Hollis: Oh, I am honored. Thank you so much for having meSuzy Chase: Subscribe in Apple Podcasts, and while you're there, please take a moment to rate and review Cookery by the Book. You can also follow me on Instagram at CookerybytheBook. Twitter is @IamSuzyChase, and download Your Kitchen Mix Tapes: Music to Cook By on Spotify at Cookery by the Book. Thanks for listening.

Oh, okay. Welcome. I had to put this sparkle filter on because my other freaking filter disappeared, and I just don't know how to live in a world with no livestream filters. Well, that's not true, because I filter without a livestream all the time. I know from using my Katrina Ruth Show banner. But today I felt like it was a filter-ish day, because you know. Where are you? Shannon, what's up. What's up, Shannon? All right, I don't know why I'm flirting with my clients. Why would I not? It would be rude not to. Did you like my what's up? How are you doing? All right, now I'm being Joey from Friends. How are you doing? How are you doing? What's happening? What's the happy haps? Hey, Carly. Let me make sure my team know I'm live. I'll flirt with any of you. Any of you. Any time. But mainly with Shannon. Okay, live. Let me just ... Oh my god. Oh my god. I just messaged my client on audio, and she's just pointed out to me that it's three minutes and 33 seconds. Of course it freaking is, because I'm magic as fuck, bitches. Let's message her dad, just so she knows. Okay, that was me knocking the tripod over. Watch out. Here we are. We're still live. Don't worry. Cat mode activated. Cat mode should always be activated. What's happening? My tripod's falling. I've got to type with one hand. I don't know why. Because I am magic. All right, sorry, but this is important. ... Magic as fuck. You too. We both are. Let's just clarify. It would be rude otherwise. Obviously. All right. Okay. Hello. Rebecca [inaudible 00:02:18], I fucking knew that you and Brandon were about announce a relationship. I feel a little bit miffed that nobody told me before they told Facebook, but I already knew anyway, but I feel like I was probably the last person to know. Or maybe I was the first, because I energetically called that 100 years ago, and then I saw it on my feed today, and I was like "I knew it!" And then I was really proud of myself for knowing it, and then I was like, no, probably everybody knew it before me, I and I'm probably the last person to know it. But I'm going with I was the first. I'm going with I knew before even you guys. I'm going with you can send me flowers, because I knew it so longa go. All right, I'm clearly having the best time ever. So, anyway. What was I going to say? Oh, that's right. Today I felt the need for a filter because of the reason that I haven't washed myself in a while. I did muay thai. I don't know. I just felt like it was a filter day. I meant Francis. I was just messaging you while I was on the livestream, because I was like, clearly I need to just sit here messaging my clients, instead of doing the actual livestream that I'm fucking on. What was my other piece of information for you? Oh, the other thing that I've got to tell you guys before I keep talking is I have mastered, mastered where to put my tripod in the car while livestreaming in the car. I think I should get a love heart shower for that. I'm going to carefully remove this phone, and I'm going to show you so that you can see how good I am. I feel like I just end up in the car office for half the day. I've spent at least five hours in the car today. Look at this. I never know where to put the tripod when I'm in the car, and I always hold it, and then it's at a weird angle, or I put it on the passenger seat where the laptop is, and then it's on a weird angle. And now, check this out. Can you see that? See how I've jammed it down there into the seat? I'm like, why did I never think of this before. Well, it only fell twice down. I don't need to be a smartass about it. Australians, they say smartassy. Got to watch out for those Aussies. Okay. Okay. Now, I've been having a little identity crisis again. The problem is that I'm concerned that I've made my breasts too big. It's a legitimate concern. Now, if you're a guy, you don't get to have a say. Say whatever you want, but I know exactly what you're going to say, because so far every man that I've said this to has said, "Please don't say that again, because that's not a thing. It's not possible to make your breasts too big." That's all the men who I've inquired or shared my concerns with. What's happening here? I've screwed the whole system up. I'm moving it. So, I've been coaching myself through whether or not it's true that I've made my breasts too big. What is happening? Okay, there we go. Now I've got it. Sort of. I've got it. It is true. What's true? Steve, are you saying that it's true that I've made them too big? Because you'd be the first person to say that. Although I must say that your brother disagrees. I don't know if he told you this, but I had a dream. I'ma a huge nut. I had a dream the other night that Matt broke up with me as a friend, and we were going to catch up, and he was like, "I can't see you anymore. I don't want to be friends with you anymore, because you've got fake breasts now, and I feel that it's not authentic, and I don't like your vibes anymore." That's what he said in the dream, and I was devastated. I was crying in the dream. So then I audioed him about it, and he goes, "Yeah, I probably would have done that." I was like, "Oh my god." He goes, "Yeah, I don't really care one way or the other about the boobs." And he sort of half agreed with me. And then I called him out on it. I was like, "I don't think so. I think you're going to like them just fine." But they feel so big, so big, you guys, that's it's just ... I'm about to go into yoga. I went yesterday morning. I kept toppling over. I was like Bambi fucking learning to walk. I was just falling over. By the way, you guys have got to get your asses back here. Yes, it was very embarrassing. I just couldn't even stand up. I'm so top heavy, I just kept falling over. My, I was going to say [foreign language 00:06:59], but that's definitely in German. What's it called in English? My equilibrium wall off. It's all over the place. This morning in the ring as well, at muay thai, it was a sight to behold. I just kept tripping all over the place. I would have got my ass kicked if I was in a fight. Not that I'd be in an actual fight five days after surgery. But I was doing my thing. All right. Decide to get fucking certain. Carly says, "Welcome to my life. G cups over here." I'll get you to drop the link, but not just yet. In a moment. Well, the thing is though, if you've got your G cups over there, that I'm assuming they grew in a normal fashion. They didn't just get plonked on there, and then you've suddenly got to adapt to them instantly overnight, and you had no warning. Because I did yoga even up until eight months pregnant, and I wasn't falling all over the place there, but I got to adjust to that gradually, you know? Okay. Decide to get fucking certain. Certainty is a choice. I wanted to talk about that. There's many things in which I'm the world's biggest flake, you guys. It's quite disgusting. You'd be disgusted if you knew all the areas that I flake out. Some people know. You'd just be appalled. You'd be like, "What a disgrace that girl is. She's an absolute disgrace." So, there's some things that I don't write that I want to write, for example. I feel like I'm not a real writer. I am a real writer. I think I'm an amazing fucking writer. I think I'm actually the best writer of our times, in the world, just modestly over here. But then at the same time, there's things that I'm meant to write that I don't write at all. I don't know what you want to say about that. I was having this conversation off and all day with somebody. Well, the truth is, we were having a conversation on the phone for two hours. It was Patrick. And we really agreed at the end that it was very selfish and outrageous that we hadn't recorded the conversation. It was extremely rude. And so we're now going to record our conversations, and then when we've got 10 of them, we're going to sell them to you. And you're going to be thrilled. You're going to buy them in a bunch before we even launch them, because the depth of the conversation is so fucking good that after we get off the phone, it's like you're off your head. You have to go lie down, or have a massage. Yeah, exactly, of course people are going to buy that. Every time we're on the phone, then we're like, "These so should have been livestreamed. It's so stupid that we didn't livestream this." But then, like I said, I'm like, "Yeah, but sometimes I just want to talk to you without the whole of Facebook getting to listen." But then at the end, I was trying to remember a few things that we'd talked about, because it was such good content, and then I was like, "Cool, I'll watch the replay later. And then I'm like, "Oh, there's no replay of being on the phone. God damn it, that's not fair." So, now I'm just trusting that that content will come back to me, and it will. But meanwhile, one of the things that we were talking about, which we were being a little bit irreverent around, shall we say, the nice way of saying it, is about just, you know, the whole world fucking flakes out on its whole life, and it is a disgrace, it's true. So few people actually step up and do the damn work to create what they want in their lives. That's the reality. But then later on I was thinking, the reality is that that actually includes me, I've got to admit, because I definitely flake hard on other levels of writing I want to do, and specific writing projects that I want to do. And the truth is that sometimes I think ... Well, it's not true at all, but I think that the truth is that sometimes I'm not certain about it, right? Sometimes I'm not sure. Do I really want to write that book, or am I just making that up in my head? And I guess clients say to me a lot of the time ... In fact, I think I had this question even over the weekend from a client, around how do you decide? Like, this is from our inner circle lives from earlier today. Of course, right? So, it was around, what if I have decided, and I'm manifesting the thing, and then it doesn't show up? And I've said this lots of times to people, and I'll say it again right here. Deciding is a practise, but you've got to decide to decide, as well. You've got to decide to get fucking certain. You've got to decide to get freaking serious. You've got to decide to get double D breasts, and then afterwards when you're like, "Fuck me, I think they're too big," then you've got to remind yourself that every decision you make is perfect. I was up all night long on Saturday night, coaching myself around my boobs. I was coaching myself on, "But Kat, it's not possible that they're too big, because this is the size that you chose, and you always make the right decision, and everything always works out perfectly for you, and you never stop anything, so therefore they're all right." So, that helps, that helps, that helps. And then I went to yoga the next morning, which was yesterday, and then I looked at myself in the mirror, and I was like, "Damn, they actually look quite nice." But still extraordinarily large. But then again, they are swollen right now. I think all of me ... For some reason, my whole fucking body puffed up after the surgery. So, that's been a fun ride. And the whole point was, deciding is a practise. Deciding is not something you do one time. It's actually a practise, and then you come back to it every single day. I mean, why don't you just put that link in now, because I realise I'm getting carried away here, and I'm forgetting about that all together. Here's a good example, actually. My, Katrina Ruth high vibe as fuck Millionaire Mastermind is open. It's at ... I believe that it's at the KatrinaRuthShow.com/MillionaireMastermind. Let's just drop that link in so it will be in the comments. That is open, I think, I think. We haven't seen them all. How much can you see? They're very ginormous. I don't know how much you can see on this livestream. I was going to lift my top up, but too bad, I'm not going to. I mean, they're really big. Like, really big. Maybe I'll think they're smaller later. I went way bigger than I would have because my friends convinced me to. My friends, all of them, were like ... Hang on, I'm just checking my visuals on Facebook. I had a sudden fear that everyone could see everything, and I don't know, because Facebook is always messing with me. Okay, now you can't see as much. My friends, all of them were like, "When I got them done, then I wished I'd gotten them bigger." So, I just went extra, extra big. I'm like, how much too much is too much? I feel like I've gone too much too much, now. But with the Millionaire Mastermind, Katrina Ruth's high vibe as fuck Millionaire Mastermind, that is open right now. Oh my goodness, that is ... Okay, that's probably the most powerful thing I've ever launched, in terms of what can I create that gives people all of everything that they need, with support system, strategy, and structure, so that they never need to have a question unanswered, or feel like they don't know how to put something together and bring it to life. So that they're fully supported with the whole empire-building and cash machine side of the business, as well as, obviously, the mindset and inner work, which is the real work. And I knew the answer was to create something like the Millionaire Mastermind. I had some massive control freak issues around it to do with the fact that I'm not running this show. I mean, I'm always running the show. I am the damn show. Actually, I don't run the show. I just am the show. I don't run the show, right? My team are creating, and ongoing, doing a lot of the training, content, and support for the Millionaire Mastermind. That was a huge thing for me. I felt really unsure, and it was very hard for me to come to a decision around it because I was control freaking about not being the star of the show. But I am the show. I'm always the star of the show. So, this was a good example of out topic today, where I had to decide. I was like, should I, shouldn't I, for literally six months, because I felt that it should always just be about me. But then at the same time, I knew ... Gosh, listen to the sound of me. When I say that out loud, it's a bit embarrassing. But I knew, at the same time, that the way for me to beset serve the broader community is to really open up access to my team. I have this amazing team who do all this incredible stuff in the business, and I knew that it was pretty freaking selfish to hold that back, and also in a way, kind of reigning them in and clipping their wings, right, when they have so much power to share. So, that was an example for me, and I want you to really think about, where have you not been deciding to take a leap, deciding to do something that you need to do. Where are you telling yourself a story that you don't know? I think it's a practise not only to decide, but I think it's a practise also to tune in on this stuff, to have conversations with the right people in your life, or to join something like the Millionaire Mastermind, or to listen to my livestreams, or read my content, or have your ow inner work practise, or whatever it is, a combination of these things that works for you, where you're checking in, where you're tuning in. One of my favourite questions that I've asked myself over and over for years is, what would full alignment look like right now? What would it look like if I was fully in alignment? Another way to say it, what would it look like if I was fully pressing play? What would I be doing right now if I was doing all that I know I'm meant to be doing, or all that I know I'm meant to be? What would I be doing if I was in full integrity, is another way that I like to say it, as well. And this particular membership programme, which is the only membership programme in the world for the driven entrepreneurs and crazy critters, it is the mindset and the strategy of crushing it online for driven entrepreneurs and crazy critters who just want more, the Millionaire mastermind, Katrina Ruth's high vibe as fuck Mastermind. Details in the pinned comment, open now for just a couple more days, and then we will close those doors. That membership programme was a perfect example of something that I wasn't stepping into, I wasn't taking action. I was not allowing life to be breathed into it because I was telling myself a story that I wasn't sure, but really, I just wasn't willing to sit in the discomfort of what I had to face inside of myself, which was kind of getting out of my own way, letting go of the reins, letting my team step up, letting them take control. And also, it's a huge, big project for the whole team, in terms of, I guess, manpower and effort and that sort of thing. So, committing team energy and resources to that was maybe part of it. But I think really, it wasn't about that for me. Really, it was about the control freak stuff. And eventually, I did, and now, honestly, even the first few ... I think I manifested some screw ups with this programme. Let me tell you about it. Because the first few days ... We opened the doors on Saturday morning. I forgot to launch it, as you do, when you've announced to the whole world that you're going to launch at 9 AM on a Saturday morning, and then your whole team is prepared and ready, and it is indeed a Saturday, right? They're kind of always on again, off again. Still officially, though, don't work on the weekends. My brother and sister will tell you that that's a joke, but officially. And then meanwhile, I'm just casually having Saturday morning coffee, and my brother's texting me, and I'm like, "Fuck, I forgot to launch." I was like, okay, I didn't write any launch material, I couldn't go live to do the launch, because my kids were there and they were kind of manic. So, I'm like, all right. I just screenshotted his message with my reply saying, "Fuck, I forgot to launch." I'm like, well, that's the launch content, then. Everything's always perfect. And I chucked that out there. So, that was the first little screw up. The first sign of me letting my resistance kind of rule me a little bit. And then after that, two more things happened. The whole sales page stopped working for a while, so if you had a bunch of ... Well, we had a bunch of messages. If you had a problem getting onto the sales page, just blame me and my resistance for that. I don't know why. We had no technical reason for that. There's no reason why that happened, but there was a full day where we didn't even quite realise, because it was on Sunday for us, where the sales page wasn't working. And then, to top it off, and probably me not reading the sales page properly, again, resistance winning, the whole offer wasn't even clear. It was written out what the deal is, and the huge discount for your first month as a founding member, but it was only kind of as a halfassed afterthought further down the page. It wasn't clear. It wasn't definite. It was a little confusing. So, we had some new people jumping onto the order form, and then feeling confused and like it was different to what was on the page. So, it's just been somewhat of a clusterfuck, but not really, because it's all perfect. We simply extended the countdown timer for another day or so, I think, so now the timer ... I don't even know when it finishes, now. It's probably, details are probably in that comment. My team have written that up for me, and given a little description there of what's going on. But we decided to extend the countdown timer, and I decided to just kind of get my shit together and bring my energy, instead of letting that resistance just creep around the edges, because there's still been that small part of me that's like, am I ready to let go of control? Am I ready? And then I had this conversation earlier today with Patrick like I said, and then we've been messaging back and forth all day, and then I just messaged him like an hour ago, and I said, "Decide to get fucking certain." And then I was like, oh my god, there's my livestraem title, and that is the exact reason why I know I've been kind of mucking with the tech side of this launch with my own energy. I just find this stuff so fascinating. So fascinating. And I'm going to go, because yoga starts in five minutes, so I should do that, because I'm going to screw with my teacher by always arriving one minute before class starts, and that's not very fair for anyone. So, I'm going to go, but I would love to know from you, leave me a comment, where do you know you need to decide to get fucking certain? Pop a comment in. Send me a love heart shower. Read the pinned comment here. Go to the KatrinaRuthShow.com/MillionareMastermind. Check out all that we've got there for you. It is so next level. I hope to see you inside, but either way, drop me a comment. Let me know what you're deciding. I always some back and read my comments later. Have an amazing rest of the day, and do not forget, life is stopped. Press fucking play. Bye.

(silence) Okay. It's not frozen. I was going to maybe be a silent picture live stream. Like a silent movie. Why do you think I chop my own head off all the time? How do you like my gangster unicorn? Hello. I was gonna do the whole live stream as a mime. (silent) I think I could be quite good at it if I practised. I don't think I care enough to practise. I think that's the problem. This live stream comes to you, obviously, from a place of great power and depth. I don't think anyone understands the gravity of what is gonna happen in this live stream, and I'll tell you how I know that. Hello, badass people who I see joining me. Firstly, something is happening inside the system of Katrina Ruth. I feel things happening. I feel that my voice is possibly making some kind of argument that it should get to go on vacation. Can you hear that? I'm all blocked up. I don't know why, what's happening. And my voice is a bit croaky. So I was like probably I shouldn't live stream at fricking 11:34 pm at night. Or yell. Clearly, welcome to breaktheinternet.com. But you know, when you gotta live stream, you gotta live stream. What's up Mac? New viewer. Welcome. Then though, here's how I know for sure, for sure, that this live stream is going to be beyond. Beyond what, you ask? Beyond your wildest fucking dreams and imaginations about life, about the universe, about the internet, and about yourself. Have you joined breaktheinternet.com, because it freaking closes tomorrow, in less than a day. What day is it even right now in America? It's definitely Monday morning, for sure. For sure it's Monday morning. For sure it's probably as late as like 10 pm in some parts of the US, 10 am I mean. What that means is I don't even know. I don't even know. The doors are gonna close at midnight eastern standard time. [Giana 00:03:19] is ready. Of course she is. Join. If you haven't joined Break the Internet, run, run, run to the back of the room and join the programme. I'll give you the details momentarily. There's no back of the room. Get to wherever the back of your own room is, to wherever your credit card or whatever it is that you've got is. Okay. But here's ... Ready. Here's how I know for sure that this live stream right here is gonna be insane, because not only was I like I probably shouldn't live stream when it's nearly midnight and I'm having surgery tomorrow. Don't worry, it's for exciting, fun purposes only. But still, it's surgery. I don't know, maybe it's not a big deal. Although I can't have any fucking coffee or water from five am. I find it very upsetting to the psyche, more nerve racking than the idea of the surgery itself to be frank with you. And then that, and then my voice is not really working, and now apparently I'm gonna yell at the internet with it anyway, and I've already done like four live streams today, two ones in my members group and one public one earlier today in the park. And then, and then, and then, the other thing was not once, not twice, but ... I can't use that nail, that's the one where the whole nail ripped off ... Three times, three times this live stream tried to crash its own ass, and it would not let me go live. We know what that means. All right, I'll give you the details right now about Break the Internet. I just popped it in there so you don't miss out. You would be next level insane to not be part of breaktheinternet.com. Do not go to the URL breaktheinternet.com. You would think that that would be a logical thing to do based on the fact that that's the name of the programme. You would need to think again. This situation here does not really know or understand logic. I don't know why I clicked my fingers at the end, it just kinda happened. Kind of embarrassed now. You'd be crazy not to be part of this. It is beyond, beyond, beyond whatever your idea of of beyond already is. But, but ... Okay, just reminding myself of those people that go to those circuit gyms and think that they're boxing and they're just like "Aah." All right. Three times this live stream crashed before it would let me go live. So put the title in - actually it was a less interesting title than the one I ultimately went for. It was more boring. So maybe it was meant to be. I put the title in, the title that I put in originally was Are You Selling or Are You Selling? There's a Difference. Like that. I think it would have gotten some good traction anyhow. And then I was like nah, fuck that title. But my whole phone shut down. It just black screened its own ass. It was quite traumatic for a minute or two as when your phone just dies for no reason and it was fully charged and it was a relatively new iPhone X. So I plugged it in, I found it charged, but nothing, nothing. I was like okay, I do have at least 89 backup phones in this house. But still, I want this one. And then it came back to life. I'm like fuck this shit, now I have to type the whole title in again, I already did it. So it did that, and then it just exits itself out of the screen and won't let me go live and blanked out the whole thing again. And then finally the third time ... Oh no, three times. It blanked out two times. Or one time I accidentally exited and didn't save the title. I had to type it like four times total, by which time I changed it, and maybe it was meant to be. But there was a moment where I stood in the kitchen and I was like maybe this is a sign that I shouldn't go live and I should go to bed, because it's blanked itself out X amount of times now. And now here we are, and you know the whole story, and you're all up to date. Except for how do you think this cushion ... Because I feel that I can't really communicate anymore until you've seen it. And by the way, I established with my private empire ... Rich Hot Empire 101 clients earlier on in a live stream this evening that this unicorn, which Linda, my friend, brought for the kids I think, but I've commandeered it. This unicorn, which lives now on this couch set, is the most gangster unicorn in the world. The reason we know that is because he's extraordinarily fluffy and cute looking - I'm gonna hold him by the scruff of his neck. Too bad. And I think that makes him a gangster unicorn, because he's extra cute. Don't you think? It's logical. I'm all about logic. And then this pillow, if you've not seen it, I normally do a whole show around it, but I really don't have the time or inclination for that. But I'm still gonna blow your mind. I did put a ... Maybe I'm gonna blow my own mind by not remembering how to use it. I did put a blow mind emoji in the live stream title so it would be rude if I didn't blow your mind. Here you go. You ready for it? We're gonna do it quick, we're gonna do it hard and fast. That's how it's needed sometimes. Look at what it says. The message in the cushion. Life is now, press fucking play. Okay, so what you should be ... And then we bling it back up again, because you can never have too much bling. It's a rule of life. And then, and then ... Okay, I forgot my point. I don't know if I have one at all. But I think what I was gonna say is breaktheinternet.com is off the hook. There is no URL. I feel like I've gotta say that every time. Don't type it in. You don't know what you're gonna get. Maybe Kim Kardashian's ass, I don't know. I haven't even looked. I don't care. The first live training went down today. It feels like it was 700 years ago. Exactly. The more bling, the better. I've got blinged up cushions everywhere. Everywhere. There's about 40 of them in this house, for sure. It was about getting angry. The first training, the first deep dive training was today. There was already two badass pre-work trainings last week. People were having shifts and transmissions and transmutations. I don't know if that's ideal. But things were definitely happening in the group already from last week before we even started, just from the pre work. Before even the pre work. I need that URL then, Lea. Send it to me energetically. That's shocking. Don't you think that's shocking? Is somebody storing it? I feel like I need a wine break to recover from that information. Anyway. Don't go there, though. No need to do that. The vibe is off the hook. The whole thing is off the hook. You would be crazy, like batshit crazy, like do you want to die crazy, are you seriously telling me you're not joining this programme, you're going to die if you don't join this crazy programme. That's how crazy you would be. No, the only disclaimer is if you kinda hate me and you think I'm a hoity toity bitch - sometimes I am, it's true. I don't know if maybe you're only here for the unicorn, or I don't know, why the fuck are you here if you don't love me? Just give me a reason already. But at the end of the day, say what you want, if you're watching this right now and you're like, "That Katrina fucking Ruth." I'm sorry, but if you're here, technically, you're magnetised to me and you love me. It is what it is and that's all it is. So you might as well join and just find out why it is you can't look away, even though you're just looking in horror half of the time. But for those of you who are looking in fascination and with great amounts of love, and maybe you're only a little bit abhorred from time to time, then the reason you'd be crazy ... Like do you wanna die, that level of craziness. Because, don't you fucking wanna know how to be magnetic? Well, you already know anyways. It's nothing I have to tell you about it, except I will show you, and I will reach into your soul and wrench forth whatever's in there that needs to come out. Mandy knows all about it. She saw it already many times. She's doing it already herself many times. It's what happens. Watching a bad movie. Exactly. See, Sarah Jane's making a fantastic comment here. This is a perfect example of somebody who maybe thinks that they can't stand me or maybe they think what the hell is she doing and when is she getting to the point but yet cannot watch away, cannot look away. Love your audacity, so horrific, macabre, fascination, you haven't said anything yet. That's the exact fucking point. But those who know and are ... See? This is one of those, is that a backward compliment, or is that a forward insult? What was that exactly? Somebody decipher what Sarah Jane just said. I'm gonna decipher it myself in my own way. For those people who think I haven't fucking said anything yet, oh, it just makes me be so happy to be one of the 1% within the 1% people who actually fucking gets it, and it makes me so happy that the people who are here, which is everybody, sorry, except for Sarah Jane, are my people. It makes me so fucking happy to be this good. It was totally shade. It's totally shade. She says she may love my audacity, or maybe many people love my audacity, but I haven't said anything yet, it's horrific, it's macabre, fascination. I don't know, maybe it is a backward compliment or a forward insult. It's an in between one, isn't it? Whatever it is, it doesn't feel like the most obvious expression of love that I've ever received. So there we go. But I'm gonna decipher it anyway. My deciphering is this. There's nothing to fucking tell. What am I here to tell? I'm the Katrina Ruth Show. I'm a show. I'm not a show and tell. I don't have anything to tell. I just be. That's what I do. But actually, if you wanted to break it down ... I'm in the wrong app, Leah. It's gonna be embarrassing if I admit why I'm in a different app, but I think you could probably figure it out, Leah, based on what you said yesterday. It's actually all your fault. That's why the sticker's not here. Whoops. You know, if anybody who actually had a brain on top of their heads somewhere up in there, or some sort of access to soul and higher being and self, wanted to reverse engineer what's already happened on this live stream, you'd find that there's enough fucking content there to expand out into an entire book on how to make millions of dollars alone on the internet each year just by being you, which is indeed precisely what I do, and all without saying a single fucking thing. It's a mystery. It's not a mystery to those who actually get it, but it will eternally be a mystery to those who are not us. I feel like I could have found a better way to say that, but it came out that way, I'm sorry. So, you know, the point is that the less you say about anything, the more you actually reveal from the soul. Thank you Kiana, I appreciate it. It's a talent and it's also somewhat of a entity that has taken control of oneself. It's sort of a mix between that. Hello from Denmark. Thank you for saying where you're from. It's interesting to me to know. Thank you Christine. It's the gangster eye makeup. I don't know what happened to my eye makeup, because I didn't put that much on, but it seems to have taken on a mind of its own. It's like another entity now. And then it's obviously the art, and it's also the fact that it's 12 pm and I'm supposed to fricking stop drinking and eating at 5 am in the morning, so I figure I should just stay up until then and drink and eat until then. Not a mystery but definitely a wonder. Well, it's all about, it's all about, it's all about the slate of [inaudible 00:15:10], it's all about the pattern interrupt. I kinda hate that expression just because it's overused, but it still makes very good sense. It's all about the oh, oh, oh, oh, you thought I was over here, you thought I was doing that, you thought this is how you sell online, this is how you market, you do this thing, you do it like that, you thought it was that. Oh no, now I'm over there, and you didn't see, and you're still there. Oh now you're trying to catch up here, that's cute, because I'm over there. That? You're doing that? Oh my god. I'm sorry for you. No, no, I'm over here, 45,000 fucking steps ahead of you, and you'll never catch me. And by the way, when I say I, I mean the royal I, which is not a thing, but I've just created it into a thing, which means I mean the I of all of us who are the actual ones, the ones, the chosen ones who know about these things, who know about the mysteries and the wonders, and don't need to put them into words. And if anybody just tries to ask us how it works and what we do and can you explain that to me, I mean, yes, but no. Please go away, please don't ask me that, because it makes me want to claw my own eyeballs out, because you should just fucking magnetically, energetically know. Even if you don't fully have it in implementation yet, that's fine, but you definitely should fricking know. Your soul should be like, "I see what is happening here." You should recognise that we are each others' spirit animals. Exactly. Exactly Talisha. Your soul should be like, "I completely ..." I mean, this is what it's about. When you see how I show up, here's how you know if you're one of my people and I'm your person too and we're just each other's I, because your soul says "Aha." Maybe not aha. Your soul says "Yes, I recognise you, there you are." Right? Something like that. Your soul is like, "Oh, she's me. I'm her. Oh shit. Okay." Maybe you still don't fully quite get the pieces of how it all works together, which is obviously precisely why you're gonna join breaktheinternet.com. It closes tonight, midnight eastern standard time. Not this current night that I'm living in in Australia. I mean, I'm many places all at the same time. But it closes Monday night US time. Right, because your soul is like, "I fully recognise and understand this situation. It makes total soul sense to me. I 100% have always known that this is how it's meant to be. I still can't quite explain it, I don't really quite know what she's doing, but I know it's exactly who I am and exactly what I'm here to do and exactly how it fucking works and all the other bullshit that they may have told you about." They, not the royal they, because obviously there's nothing fucking royal about them. All the other bullshit that they may have told you about, you're finally able to be like, "I fucking knew it. I knew I didn't have to do that shit. I knew it." That's how you should feel when you watch me. But some people are gonna feel more like how Sarah Jane felt where it's like she's appalled and fascinated and it was ... What did she say? Did she say barbaric? I don't think barbaric, but it was something along those lines. Macabre. She said macabre. Which is a great word, really, if you think about it. Michael says he feels my soul. This makes sense. I read your comment wrong and I thought you said you feel for my soul, kind of like I'm praying for you. I was like oh well. Then I read it properly. Thank you. See? He said it exactly how I'm trying to say it. This goes both ways, what I was saying. He feels my soul. This is what I mean. You feel it. You're like, "Yes, this is what I've been looking for. Holy shit, she's reading my mind. I can see that she's clearly bat shit crazy and I love it, and how am I gonna let that shit up myself," and then you're just gonna do it. You're just gonna do it. I'll show you. And then the other thing was, which was my original live stream title ... What time is it? My laptop says 5% battery left, so I guess that's exactly what time it is. What's this over here? Doesn't matter. Don't concern yourselves with it. The other thing, the other thing was ... I feel like I should go to a higher level in order to talk about this. I'll get up on some more cushions. The other thing was ... Okay, now this one halfway up inside of me. Not in a weird way. The other thing was how are you selling? I don't really wanna talk about it, because it feels like a boring conversation already. But it is important. "This is why I can only listen to a handful of people," says Angela. Well, I got a throne right there. See, I could sit on the throne. I just really loving this art that my sister in law made for me. She downloaded it from her soul for all of our souls. Sorry, I just killed the unicorn. Yes, they either get it or they don't. Exactly right. Exactly, and we don't care for the ones who don't. But we do use them to create fabulous jokes and things, which sounds horrible, I'm sorry. Maybe just quietly. I think they like it. I think they appreciate it. That's what I'm going with. The other thing which definitely sounds a bit boring but I'm gonna tell you anyway because I'm gonna make it exciting for you. It's not even boring. I don't know what I'm talking about. It's the whole reason I was doing this live stream, because I was telling this to my clients earlier, and I was like, "The world must know about it." The whole reason ... Ooh, blue unicorn. How good is this shirt, right? It's badass. The whole entire reason that I was originally gonna do this live stream is because I was giving a live demonstration, a live demonstration you understand, to my clients earlier on this evening in a live stream training in our group. It was about the energy. Are you selling, are you selling, or are you selling. All right? I'm gonna explain it to you. It is a huge part of what we're doing in breaktheinternet.com. Reminder, again, it closes tonight, midnight eastern standard time. You would be off your tiny little beautiful head if you didn't join this programme, unless you're one of those people that's like, "She's macabre," right? I still think it's a fancy word, and you get points for using macabre. But whatever. When I get really in flow, I feel the need to stretch when I'm on my live streams. What do you think that's about? I don't understand it at all. If you like the crazy and if you are the crazy and if your soul says yes to the crazy and if when you saw my crazy your soul was like, "Holy shit, that's my crazy," then you would be a crazy person in a not good way though to not join breaktheinternet.com. If you never buy another programme of mine again, make it this one. That's the wrong way to say it. If you only ever buy one more programme of mine, or you're never gonna spend any more money again, this is the money you should spend before you never spend any money again, except that really, based on the results that are already coming through, and we only just started, then once you join the programme and you do the programme, you're gonna be like, "Kat, just take all my money all the time, because I get so much fucking flow and so much results from your stuff. How much can I pay you?" You will do that. I'm just letting you know, and you'll do it with glee, because you'll be 10X-ing every dollar back to you. It's just how we do. Already, already, already epic results, and I only did the first deep dive training today. You can still get it. You'll get straight into the Facebook group. So I think I'm making somewhat of my point. I'm just gonna shake my head and whoa at you quite frankly if you don't join. I'm just gonna not even understand it. But I mean, maybe the reason you don't join is you're like, "Bitch please, I am fully already in my magnetism, I am owning my shit all the time, every day, I don't need any of your magnetic juju, I got it all sorted." Well, you probably do, or you wouldn't be here. Of course you've got it all sorted. The question is are you letting it the fuck out? Are you the only one who knows it's sorted, or does everybody else know as well? Okay. Amanda told me not too long ago that nobody knows what I mean when I say sorted, except she's appropriated the word and started using it with her team. [inaudible 00:23:44] Amanda, who many of you know. If you don't know what I mean when I'm saying sorted, I mean organised, like fixed up, done. But just take on the language. Please just adopt all Australian language and mannerisms and cultural behaviours and knowledges. Otherwise it's just gonna be difficult. I'm just saying. On a side note, because I said this earlier as well. If you come to my house and it's established at some point during your stay here that you don't have a tripod on your person, I may have to ask you to leave, because it would be very odd. Very odd. I only feel a little bit bad that I'm rolling that joke out again. I only said it two hours ago with my Rich Hot Empire clients. But it was so good and it was so true, like legit true, that I had to say it again. Nobody's gonna ask, Talisha, why you're talking Australian. They're gonna understand that it came from me because you'll tell them. Okay. There's a difference between selling and selling. That was really the primary point that I came here to make, and then I was supposed to be going to bed. The difference is nobody fucking cares if you send 7,000 sales emails. Well, some people might care, and they might unsubscribe. But you might send all the sales emails in the world, and you might do all the messaging and all the content online, and many things about many things ... I need a purple cushion just there. Right? Christine. Well, you know to get one before you come here. I mean, I have many backups, but I would just be a little concerned for your mental well being if I found that you were travelling without a tripod on your person. And preferably a selfie ring light as well. I'm just talking practicalities of life, really. Posting shit on the internet. That is not a thing that makes you money, by the way. I post a lot of shit on the internet. I just make shit up all day long and post it on the internet, messaging and stories and blogs and live streams and then a sales call to action. And then the wrong people are like, "She hasn't even said anything." Never mind them. But if you think that the system is post a lot of shit on the internet or email out sales emails or yes, I'm promoting my launch and doing my shit all the time, you're getting the skeleton of it but not the one that it wants to live in. You're getting the ... What's it called when the caterpillar leaves behind its scaly exterior? What's the exterior bit of a caterpillar that it leaves behind called? I'm gonna Google it. 1%. What is shell of ... There's only one percent on this. That's a problem. But, stop the phone, so I don't know why I'm freaking out. But I really wanna know what it's called so I can tell the story properly. It's a chrysalis. No, when it gets excommunicated out of it though. Fine, whatever. The scaly old shell. No, the actual shell itself is called a chrysalis. Interesting. I'm sure you're glad you came along to learn that today. Valerie just knew that. Did you just know that? How did you guys just know that? What are you, some kind of scientific experts? That's fascinating. I didn't know that at all. I got stuck on a symmetry question today on my third grade daughter's math quiz. It was very stressful, and then she only got 97% or something on the test. It was like an online, maths online. I just freaked out. And I'm like an A plus math student. I couldn't help her with the question, and she was not happy with me because she only got 97%. And it's not even a required test or homework or something that she had to do. I literally had to say to my child like four times, "Stop doing math now. That's enough math." Because we had to get ready for bed. She's obsessed with doing extra homework that nobody asked her to do. She just goes onto the online curriculum websites for the government, for the standard maths curriculum or whatever it is and just does extra homework like a weirdo. I mean, it's amazing, but I still think it's super weird. I'm listening to myself, and I'm saying, "Alyssa, that's enough maths now. Stop doing math. I already asked you to stop doing math. Put the math down." I literally was like ... She's like, "Just one more." I'm like, "You're a little addict." And then she's like, "I can't believe it," when she got 97%, because I didn't help her properly with the question about symmetry. It was very confusing. And now I feel upset about it. I feel like I'm gonna have to go study up on it. Anyway. So when you step out of your caterpillar shell and then you discard the old shell behind you, right? Ooh, I'm gonna read that comment in a moment from Michael. Then you discard the disgusting old shell behind you. Well, it's beautiful still because it was part of you. But my point is that when you're just doing fricking sales emails ... Okay, I gotta say one more thing about the homework. When my daughter had been in school for a full year and a half, I remember I was suddenly like, "Do they still do homework at school?" I've gone, "Do you get homework?" She's like, "Yeah." I'm like, "How often?" She's going, "Every day." I'm like, "Who helps you with it?" She's like, "I just do it." This is bad, but she had been in school 18 months before it occurred to me that she might have homework. Now I'm a very hands on mother in many areas, but not the homework area, apparently. But I was top academically, always. I got in the top 3% of the whole country, and I was always the top student in each class. I just expect the same from Alyssa, and I just assume it. It's just freaking manifestation. It's an identity thing. It's like this is just who we are. To be perfectly honest with you, I don't really concern myself with matters around doing work to get results, because results come from belief. But I definitely felt bad that it hadn't occurred to me. But she was like, "What are you even asking me for? I'm all over this shit." Okay, she didn't say it like that, obviously. It's very relevant, anyway, to our topic at hand. Yeah, but isn't the parent supposed to help? Aren't you supposed to know when your six year old child is doing homework? I don't know. Maybe they've changed their systems. Now there's an app where you can text the teacher. You can text them on an app, and they send you photos and shit. It's amazing. It's all very high tech. Digital age, I really don't know much about it. I just know how to make money with it. Actually, what I just said is so relevant to what I'm even freaking talking about here as far as how to make money online and how to make sales online and all that good stuff, which is there's nothing you need to do. You don't need to concern yourself with how many emails you should be sending or what you should be posting or fricking what process to use in your sales copy. It's making me wanna bash my head on the table in front of me just thinking about it. Here's the difference between selling, like selling, like you're kind of like an old caterpillar shell. I don't know why that, but that's what came to mind. And the difference between selling, where people are like, "Give me the thing, give it to me now," and I don't freaking ... Like money, whatever, it's an energy exchange. But people are like, "Yes, I'm gonna be in, and then they're in, and then the second they even sign up and pay, before the damn thing even begins, they already get results, of course, because they said yes to their soul. The difference is, of course, the whole fucking thing that I'm demonstrating on this live stream without saying anything, apparently, according to some people ... Okay, maybe I'm a little bit defensive. It's fine, I allow myself to be human sometimes, on occasion. The caterpillar shell is the chrysalis. We discussed that. You're missing bits. Keep up. Do your fucking homework. It's the protective shell. It even said it on Wikipedia. So there. Said protective shell. The difference is the energy, the energy. People will buy from you when they feel your energy. Alyssa would know all about it. She probably has 49 caterpillars right in there in her little toy room, where I go in to see if she wants to play something with me, which I find a little painful, to be perfectly honest with you, depending on what it is, but I do it anyhow. And then she's like, "Leave, I have to do my homework." Then she comes out. I'm like, "Okay, let's spend some time together relaxing, like relaxed time." And then she makes me do fucking maths online with her in her play time before bed. It's the energy. I was gonna scroll back and look for comments. Fuck them. But, but, but, leave me a comment anyway. Leave me a comment anyhow, because I'll ... Look at that other picture. Did you see it? Rachel made that one too. Isn't she a genius artist? It's on its side. Oh, fuck you phone. Okay, the phone just did not care to be turned on its side. Okay, it's a very long picture. My sister in law Rachel painted it just for me. It's supposed to be sitting above another couch. Anyway, now you've seen the mess that was behind there. But we just had to come in here to get some more wine, didn't we? It's logical. Look at this little gift area that Linda left for me. She left me an amazing card. I'm not gonna read it to you. She left me some Vegemite. She's a true friend. And these pictures of her and I, we [inaudible 00:33:28] some really cool sayings on them. And the flowers. And also a box of seashell chocolates, which have been hidden, hidden in order that the children don't get them. Tonight we're drinking Yangarra Estate Small Pot Whole Bunch Shiraz. Whole bunch. Whole bunch of what? I'm putting you up there, even though you can only see the top of my head. I can't hold a tripod and pour wine at the same time. The seashell chocolates are right there on top of the toaster. I didn't hide them very well. I'll show you. That was the other part of Linda's offering. She knows they're my favourite chocolates. What an amazing friend. I came in off a flight yesterday. She'd been in my house while I was away for a few days. She's now left. But I came in off my flight feeling quite fucked up, to be honest with you, because there was a small infidel on the flight, which was my four year old son, who did his utmost best to break the psyche of every person on the flight, starting primarily with me. There were a few moments when he prevailed. There were a few moments where instead of trying to be the good mom bringing him to some sense of order, the stewardess coming up and trying to be polite and helpful but really being fucking pissed off, where I just had my hand on the tray table and I was just like ... And I was in, I don't even give a fuck, I'm broken, there's nothing I can do. Then something deep within me went, "You're stronger than this cat. You're growing stronger. You're turning into a warrior right now on this flight. Arm yourself with inner strength and power and go back into the fray." Then I turned to the tiny little curly haired monster that he was being, who was jumping up and down, standing up on top of the seat, and flinging a bowl of fucking lamb meatballs with red sauce in it, which seems like a perfectly logical thing to give a four year old on a plane, flinging it atop the person in front of him. He was perfectly sweet on the plane on Friday, and then on yesterday's flight he activated all known terrorist systems. Repeatedly. Which was actually somewhat valid, because when we got on the plane, they told us the entertainment system's not working, and the kids have the Virgin app on their iPad, and they can use the entertainment system and watch movies. It had been already like a two hour drive from my brother's. So I was like, "You're gonna watch a movie on the plane, we'll put a movie on." We get on there, it's not working. There's literally no entertainment for the kids because I didn't bring anything, because it's only a two hour flight. And then, the plane doesn't take off. We sit on the tarmac for an hour. I should have understood. I was like, "Well, he's going through the stages of grief now, and everybody's gonna have to suck it." And that's exactly what happened, and it went for the entire two hours plus the extra hour on the tarmac. All right, let's have some wine in honour of that terrible moment. What was I up to? Energy. It wasn't just meatballs. There was pretzel sticks, there was nuts, what else was on that tray. He took the whole tray. He's nothing if not grandiose in his behaviour. He picked up the entire tray, and I tried to bluff him, because he picked it up, and he was looking at me, and he was like, "I'm gonna do it," and he started to raise it slowly. And he was like, "I'm gonna do it. I'm just gonna pour it over the seat." And I was like, "Okay Nathan." I was calling his bluff. And he just went higher and higher, and I was kinda like ... And he just kept going. Yeah, it went down over the top of the seat. It was very embarrassing. But I'm very proud of myself because I maintained an aura of calm. I was like ... On the inside I was screaming. Screaming. But externally I was a perfect example of conscious parenting. I was a delight to behold. I think everybody was quite delighted to see the back of us by the time we left. It was really hard. It was really one of those flights. It was the second worst flight that I've had with him, which means that I must get many blessings that are given to me this week, I imagine. They've already begun, so. What was I up to? I'm making some kind of point about energy. Is this like the time he came in and maintained eye contact as he ... Oh. Oh. Oh, wait until you hear what he did to Linda today. I don't know if I should even tell this story. He's the sweetest child. He's a fairy child. He's an indigo child. He's a crazy one. He's like us. The problem is that when you've got somebody like us in the ... Oh, I gotta tell you what he did. It's so bad. Like, so bad you can die. Before you die, join breaktheinternet.com, because if you didn't join that you might die just from woe at your own recklessness and foolhardy behaviour. He's one of us, right? But when you've got some ... Oh, it's way worse than the boob grabbing. You'd love to have your boob grabbed anytime over what happened tonight in this house. It was so bad, I was like ... I couldn't even ... I didn't even know how to communicate about it when I found out. It happened while I was out. And Serafina was here. Yeah, so when you've got somebody who's like a crazy rule breaker soul person like us who's in the body of a four year old boy, that person can be kinda hard work, alternated with incredibly powerful and charming and you just love and adore him, and of course you do anyway. He may ... I'm gonna tell you now what happened. He may have spread faeces all through Linda Doctor's bag of her possessions as she was about to leave the house to go on her next trouble adventure. I was out. She was about to leave. And he went and used her bathroom. Then for whatever reason unknown to anybody except him, and maybe probably not even him, he then took that shit, literally, and he put it in Linda's bag. It was apparently everywhere through the bag, and all over her toiletry bag. I'm not laughing ... I'm laughing in horror, you understand. It's a similar horror to the horror of that girl earlier who didn't like me. So I get home and Serafina's finishing tidying up, cooking dinner for the kids or whatever, and I'm like, "Did Nathan eat his dinner?" She's like, "Yeah, I've gone." "Cool, what else?" Like what else went on tonight, what else is news or [inaudible 00:40:13]. She's like, "Oh." And then she told me. I was just like, "I don't know what ... Oh my god. He's never done anything like that. Like, never." And then I'm messaging Linda, I'm like, "I'm so ... I'm mortified." I mean, she just laughed, but I don't think she was impressed. She didn't just laugh. I think she had whatever internal reaction that she obviously had. Then she told me what she said to him, which was very perfect, really. I was like, oh my god. Oh my god. Why? Why would he do that? And, by the way, he completely adores and is in love with Linda, just in case you've got only questions around that for anyone who doesn't fully know the story of Linda and everything. Like, he loves her. He is in love with her, and he thinks she's the most beautiful, amazing person, and he talks about her all the time, and he calls her Linda the unicorn, because the first time the kids met Linda, she stayed overnight and had a slumber party, and she wore a unicorn onesie the whole time, then gave the children unicorn rides on her back. That was the same time when she brought this cushion and some kind of unicorn pillow also. So he loves her. Why would he do that to a woman he loves. Men, answer for your gender. All of you. Now. Of course, he threw some undies with poo on them off the balcony a few weeks ago. That's quite different to spreading poo through somebody's bag. That was also an isolated event. I feel that he's starting to build somewhat of a rap list of some kind, and I should probably keep some of his stories quiet now. This was definitely the worst thing that I've ever known him to do, or just the most ghastly thing, I must say. So anyway. I think we've said all that we came here to say. I just wonder, when you're selling things, are you selling from a place of reaching into their souls and telling them why they must buy and really fucking meaning it, or are you just like, "Yes, I've got this thing, and it's quite a good thing. I think it's a good thing. It's something of a thing. Here's 49 bullet points as why you should buy it, and then yeah, now here's 29 more emails that get sent out every day, and I'm gonna keep telling you about it, but I'm a little embarrassed, and I'm a little self conscious, and I wouldn't ... I don't want you to think I'm selling to you. I don't wanna be salesy." So you're kind of like, "Yeah, I'm just gonna meekly pop it in the corner here and hope that you see it, then I'm gonna apologise energetically even if not literally, then I'm gonna do it again, because that's what you're supposed to do, but I won't say what I'm really thinking, because that might scare some people off. And I don't want people to think that I'm trying to make them buy, so I'll just kind of casually mention my thing and maybe they'll just know that it's for them and that they should pay me a lot of money." No. Are you crazy? Not the good crazy. Why are people doing that? Why? Why are you doing that if you're doing it? I'll tell you why. It's because you didn't kick your own ass properly. It's because you didn't join breaktheinternet.com. Join before we close. Why would you not just tell them that they're gonna be off their tiny little beautiful minds if they don't join your thing? Why would you not just tell them that if they never spend another cent with you again, they better fricking join the thing? Why would you not bring the energy and the passion and the fire to what you're selling? Or is it that you don't really believe in it? If that's the case leave and never return. But presumably you believe in what you're selling. Right? Right. Hi. Hi Janine. Thank you for saying hi. Send me a love heart shower if you believe in what you're selling, because if you do, and you're carrying on like that, it's a travesty, and it's an embarrassment for the entire fucking community and yourself. You should fucking sit up straight and stick your boobs out and have some wine and own your queen power. Who the hell do you think you are? You're a queen sitting on top the throne. Be in the fucking energy of that. be gracious in your power. And be bold in your message. And don't take any fucking shit from that other voice inside of your head. That's basically the main point that I'm trying to say. I mean, why don't you just act like you fucking believe in it, if you believe in it, right? You can say you believe in it. Why don't ... Oh, fuck that was one of those moments where I nearly threw the glass of wine at the laptop. But it would have been for a worthy cause. Is there any way that I could show my passion and fire more than throwing a glass of beautiful organic red wine at my rose gold MacBook. It can be so tiring to keep being around, being this person when there's struggle around you. I thought you meant it's so tiring sometimes to around me. It's so energising to be around me. The more that you're around me, the more your energy raises, your vibe elevates. Just being in my presence makes you more powerful and you become more abundant and you make more money. So really you should join for that reason if no other reason. And I'm not making it up, it's obvious. Won't stick your boobs out because someone might lose an eye. Well, bully for you. Me too, as of tomorrow. What else did I miss here? It can be so tiring to keep being this person when there's struggle around you. I don't fully understand that, but I think there's wine all in the corners of my mouth. What does that mean? I'm missing something that I think is important. Okay. Stick them out. What do you mean? I don't understand. How am I missing this? It's going straight over my head. I think I've gotten too hyped up on my own excitement. You gotta fricking own it. You gotta own your awesome. I did a challenge one time, a free challenge called Own Your Awesome. It's really a similar type of thing that we're talking about here. You've got to fucking own it. Thank you. Thank you [inaudible 00:46:22]. You've gotta fucking own it. That's my whole point. It's not enough to just be posting shit on the internet. Nobody cares. I'll stick them out already. I've been doing a fabulous self pleasure routine, actually, on my breasts and on other parts of me. I've been covering myself with love. Not in a gross, sticky way. And just taking the time to love my body. I had a beautiful moment in yoga earlier this evening where I was like, I think ... I'm being super serious now, so sit up straight and pay attention. We turned into church now. I had this moment in yoga where I was like, "Well this is my last yoga class with these breasts before I do the surgery tomorrow." But in that moment in yoga, I suddenly was like, "I think I'm experiencing right now in this moment the purest love and acceptance that I've ever had for myself. I've spent most of my life completely fucking hating myself, and never even able to look my own self in the eye in the mirror. Took me like eight freaking years of doing 90-minute yoga classes nearly every day to finally be able to look myself fully in the eyes and not look away. I went into self love, true love of myself last year sometime I feel, but in that moment earlier today, I was like, "I think this is the purest moment of deep self love and acceptance," where I was just like, "I fully fucking love myself in a completely non-ego way." It was just beautiful, and I feel like it's quite a contrast that I'm saying that now to everything else I've been yabbering on about. But it really was, and I was like, "This is the most perfect moment in time ever, because I'm doing something tomorrow that's changing my body, that is daunting or whatever." And I know it's [inaudible 00:48:17] in the right decision. But there's still that part of me that's like, "Um, am I gonna lose a piece of myself, or something, that I'm changing myself?" Something like that. And it was just this moment of no, this is perfect, and it's exactly as it's meant to be, and you just get to fully honour and love yourself right now, and tomorrow's whatever it is. Something like that. It was a glimpse. Thank you Angela. It was a glimpse. And also all these things just fell down where I was just like, "Oh my god, I see everything so clearly now." Relationship stuff mainly. And I was like, "Holy shit. It's just so fucking clear and so fucking obvious." And I was like, "This is just how it is." I was in my queen energy. That's what happened. I was standing there and I was like, "I'm like a queen." I was elevated into a queen in that room somehow. Like, my posture changed, my whole presence changed, everything changed, I could see it. I don't know. I'm gonna write about it later. Now I feel a bit self conscious. That's the truth. It means you step in it again and again. Sometimes I feel like I've run out of poop. I'm like Nathan, who never runs out of poop. Aah. Unagi. I understand. Sometimes I feel that way as well. Sometimes fuck the full on live stream. Sometimes I'm gonna be super quiet and not even turn the fricking light on. The real one or the ... Well, this is the real one. But the other one over there, or the you know one. So that's fine. You can be whoever you need to be each day. But as a general rule, if you're gonna sell something, then you're gonna fucking sell it, right? You're gonna be like, "Buy the damn thing." Speaking of the queen, I'm feeling coterie. That was a great course, hey? What a good course that was. Many people were transformed by that course. Okay, I gotta go. What time is it even? Should I even go to bed or just, should I just stay up all night? Oh, this laptop died. I forgot about that. Breaktheinternet.com has already begun. It is off the hook. We cover many things about many things. The details are in the pinned comment. You would be out of your mind, and not in the good way, to not be part of this. If you remotely resonate with the way that I do business in life, with my soul speaks and your soul says, "Oh my god, yes, there you are, I was waiting for you." Not in a lover sort of way, but in the same sort of way but different. If you experience that with me, and you know that it's 12:22 am, two two two right here in Brisbane, thank you Lisa. It's not Brisbane, but close enough. Then join breaktheinternet.com. Details are down below. I'll see you inside. Doors close fully midnight eastern standard time tonight, Monday, May 28th. So you have a little bit of time left, but I don't know what the fuck you would be thinking if you would just wait until that final countdown. Join now. If you do it super quickly, I might even let you into the group before I go to bed. Otherwise, I'll be up in several hours, and I'll be doing many things, mostly going to hospital. But I'm sure I'll run a whole fucking business while I'm there somehow. All right. Love, love, love the badassery of this community. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being you. Thank you for remembering. Life is now. Press play.

Hi. Hmm. Hello. Okay. Sometimes I get really shy. What do you mean you accidentally clicked on it? It was divined. It's not possible that you clicked on it accidentally. Why, why, is my wifi choosing right now to freeze? What's happening? Reset. Oh my God. Hello, Tamara. Georgine, this jacket is so old. This is like my old faithful. But thank you. I love it. Hi, Tamara. This is like the other side of my studio, you guys. I'm here in my studio. My throne is right there. I nearly just picked up the laptop, and I was like, "Look, there it is." Okay, wait. Hold your horses. Or your wine. Or whatever else do you have. What do you have? Leah, I must admit that when you commented on my post about the ribs, and you said that's awesome, I was like I don't get it. Where's the pun? What's the catch? I don't get it. And I was like, "I think she's being serious." I don't know if I've ever seen it before. Not on a normal Facebook post. I had to read it three times. And then I was just honestly so thrown that I couldn't reply. Mermaid cushions. Are they? These are some pretty cool cushions. I'm gonna share this over ... Looks good, doesn't it? This is my backup set. You were fucking hungry. I was devastated. Devastated. I was in shock. I thought ... 100% I was like, he's joking. So, for those who missed it, I went to my favourite steak and ribs place for dinner tonight, where I go like, maybe four times a week. I really like ribs. And I know the restaurant manager there, Matt, extremely well. Of course. Because I go there so often. And he was like, "Oh, have you seen our new menu?" And I'm like, "No, whatever. I don't need the menu. I have the same ribs every time I go there." He's like, "No, we don't have ribs on the menu anymore." And I'm like, "Oh, ha-ha." He's like, "No, no. We really took them off." I'm like, "No you didn't. You're just joking." And he's like, "No, no. We took them off. It's minimum four." And then sometimes I might order them up as well. They don't even deliver up, except for me. Obviously. Anyway. I manifested the fucking ribs. Obviously. Obviously. Where am I? I'm in my house. Here I am in my house. Welcome to the show. Okay. I'm in my gangster outfit. Which just means like shiny black all over. With a wild top on. It says wild. Except I have my fluffy pink slippers on, because it matches the painting. By the way, how talented is my sister-in-law, Rachel? She's an artist, and I commissioned this piece behind me. She made it for me. I don't think I've ever shown it before, because I kind of got the painting delivered, and then I just took off, travelling. As I do. There's another one just over there in the corner. It's leaning up against the wall. You can't see it properly. No, well then what happened with the ribs ... I'll show you the rest of the room in a moment, because you're in a different side of the studio. Yeah, but I've got a top on under it. What's the problem? So, what happened with the ribs was, he's like there's no ribs and no steak. They're pink slippers, Jason. Pink slippers. Matches my pink hair tie. Yeah. I thought he was joking. It's like, it's a steak and ribs place. That's what it is. You can't even make this shit up. When the hell does a steak and ribs place take steak and ribs off the menu? The ribs and the steak, they took off the menu. So, obviously I'm laughing at it, because I go there all the time. And it's a steak and ribs place. He's like, "No, no. We're trying burgers and pizzas." I'm like, "Yeah, good one." He's like, "No, really." So, then I start looking around at people's tables. I'm like ... because I knew for sure he was just trying to mess with me. Because we always have a good chat. We're good friends. So, I'm like, "He's just messing with me." I'm looking at people's tables to find the ribs, and I'm like, "I don't see any ribs." He's like, "No, no. I'm serious." I was in horror. I was just in a state of being frozen in horror. What's the word for that? There must be a word for it. I was in a shock state. Tremors were coming upon me, largely because I thought I was gonna cry, because I wanted ribs. And anyhow, long story short, I already wrote it on my personal Facebook. Ribs were delivered to me. He went and got them for me. Form another restaurant, and brought them there. All right, and here we are. So, that's roughly the whole story. I'm really not remotely in the mood to talk about anything much at all, so I feel like it's gonna be one of those live streams which is gonna be just very interesting. Having a day of being fucked with by the shenanigans crew. Leah, I said to Alyssa afterwards, it must be topsy turvy day. And then she was like, "What's topsy turvy day?" And I'm just thinking, "Who raised you, girl?" What kind of child doesn't know what topsy turvy day is? And then I'm like, "Well, maybe I never told her." Because all this random shit just kept happening. Everything weird kept happening. So, then we make it through dinner somehow. I got my food, but the children's burgers that they always normally order had been changed into sesame seed coated burgers. Like kids burgers with sesame seeds on top. Has anybody ever heard of such a ridiculous idea? So, of course both of my little precious offspring, who are reared in a manner in which they have come to expect that whatever they desire will be delivered to them, forthwith, and it is. They were not impressed, shall we say. At the sesame seed topped burgers. In fact, it's fair to say they were appalled. If my father was there, he would've said, "Bernard." And I would've said ... Nevermind. It would've descended. Only very few people have got that joke. Maybe Leah. But anyway. We would've both agreed that we're appalled. He would've said, "How do you feel about it?" And I would've said, "I'm appalled." And I would've said, "Well, how do you feel?" And he would've said, "Well, I'm appalled." And we both would've said, "I'm appalled." Anyhow. If you can name the show, I'll be very impressed that I'm not the only one who watches weird stuff. So, that happened, and the sesame seed burgers were not a hit. Nobody ate them. By the time we got to the end of the dinner, and we discovered that they don't ... Okay. The one with the minister. The minister. The one with the minister, the British show with the minister. Now I don't remember the name of it. There's definitely a minister involved and then his off, right hand guy is called Bernard. And there's just this ... Surely if you watched Faulty Towers, you watched the one ... Minister. Sometimes with a minister. I don't know. Somebody knows. Tell me the show. There were books as well. Get your wine. It's all gonna go haywire momentarily. It's just very funny when my dad says it. And then both of us go back and forth. Yes, Minister. Exactly. Yes, Minister. Right. So, then dad and I ... It's nothing to do with [Bernicky 00:08:23]. Dad and I would just go back and forth, back and forth, agreeing that we're both appalled, and we just think we're hilarious. That's really the whole story. That's all you need to know. But by the time we got to the end of the dinner, even my eight year old daughter, she says ... Oh, that's right. Because they had no chocolate ice cream. They've changed the children's ice cream menu, to no chocolate. They've got strawberry, but it's like some sort of woo-woo strawberry, and, wait for it ... Hazelnut. On a children's dessert menu. These are your two options. Weird woo-woo strawberry, which can't even possibly be explained, even if you asked me to, and hazelnut. So, Alyssa says, "The only thing I can possibly consume at this restaurant from here on out is the water." She's eight years old. I was like, I'm dying, I'm laughing. And then we went to the grocery store and more weird shit happened, and basically I said it was topsy turvy day, and she didn't know what it meant. And then it was just ... I couldn't even, even, with the whole world. I had to go home and put the children to bed, and now her I am. So, check it out, because I'm gonna talk about the burn, and the pain, and I don't even really feel like it, but it's just the title that came to me when I was in the toilet. There's my throne, so now you know where you are in time and space. Do you see where you are? That's where I usually am over there. There's all your fancy lights, there's one big fancy light up there. There's another one, and there's a ring light there. I'm live streaming without a fancy light on me. Who would've thought? I just felt like sitting on the couch. I felt like everybody's seen enough of the throne. Driven by the burn. Okay. Where are we gonna go with this conversation? I was thinking about various forms of pain today. I was triggered today. It happens to me from time to time, and I always flip it straight into gratitude as soon as I get triggered by something, or I feel uncomfortable by something. Well, firstly I might have a little hissy fit, or crack it, or get upset, or whatever the trigger is. It's not usually very, you know, emotive in a big way. Not a huge reaction. But there'll be some sort of little blip, right? You know, maybe you see something online, or you see something out in the real world, whatever that is. Or something occurs to you, or maybe you say something, that's kind of like, "Why did I say that? Now I sound like an idiot", or now I look like an idiot, or maybe they now think that I meant this, and actually I meant this, and maybe they're analysing it, and maybe they don't give a fuck about you because they're pretty obsessed with themselves. But anyway, these are the thoughts that the mind does. And then you just feel that like, ugh. And I don't know about you, but sometimes when I get that feeling, I then can't remember why I have the feeling, right? So, then you know when you carry around this weird feeling of like, I know that I'm triggered and I know that I'm upset about something, but I'm now not sure what it is, so I'm walking around feeling kind of naked and exposed. But I don't know if I have valid reason for it or not, and I wish I could fucking remember why I'm upset or why I'm triggered. I just know that there's a reason that this feeling's here and I've gotta shift it. That might be just me. But I'd be curious to know. But anyhow, today I had a little trigger. It was like a little ... That's what happens. Energetically. You're just going about your day, you're cruising along, you're writing a blog, or you're doing your thing, you're walking down the street listening to client audios, whatever it is that you're doing. And sometimes happens, and it's just this kind of, uh. And all of a sudden, you feel like you're not on path anymore. You were merrily swimming in a sea of abundance and alignment, or seeking to as the case may be, and now you suddenly feel like somebody just grabbed you by the shoulder and pulled you off, you've kind of got this tug going on, and it's like, ugh. It's annoying, right? So, then if you lean into the trigger though, it might get more annoying, and it might get upsetting. It might cause you to feel inferior, not good enough, same thing really. Frustrated, annoyed, disheartened, sad, et cetera, or worried, or whatever it is. I used to try and avoid those things. Or I used to get super reactive, in the sense that ... Okay. I feel like I've forgotten how to swallow. Something's happening inside of me. I'm sure I'll be able to manage it. Fear not. I used to get super reactive when I would get triggered. Like I would get reactive in the sense that I would probably retaliate to the trigger, which was not always necessarily the most useful thing, particularly because typically, or often anyway, frequently, the person who's triggered you has no fucking clue, because it's just some random post that they put on Facebook. So, then I would retaliate though, via response, text, of minimum 2000 words. I don't mean private text message, I mean post on Facebook, right? You know when you do a Facebook post, you're just hoping that one person will see it, or some people will see, right? I used to do that. I would do a rant, or kind of a defensive post, or kind of a let me make my point sort of post. That is actually a really good way to avoid letting a trigger work on you. And letting it serve the lesson that it came along to serve. And all of these things come along to serve as a lesson, right? So, if we don't gain the lesson from it, or if we don't get the growth work that we're meant to get from it, then what can happen is we just ... or what typically does happen is we just keep on getting the same lesson again, and again. It just keeps getting served back to us. Okay, I feel like nobody's talking to me. I feel like I'm being insanely boring. I'm now getting triggered by the fact that I'm pretty sure I'm being really boring, and I don't know what's happening. I feel like I've never live streamed before, or I've forgotten how to live stream. Do you think it's because I'm on the couch and not on my throne? But I really like to sit up here. I think it looks fancy. Am I being boring right now? Tell me something you want me to talk about, because I feel like I've lost my way completely. I'm getting really squirmy inside of myself, and I'm getting kind of like ... Yeah, super self conscious. I just feel like I wanna dance and sing, and have some people around for a drink. But that'll be, maybe tomorrow night. Meanwhile, literally nobody's even commenting. However, the numbers are somehow weirdly going up slightly. So, I feel like you've all banded together and you're just refusing to talk to me on purpose, but you've got some kind of conversation thread going on behind the scenes on fucking telegram, or telegraph, or telepole, or whatever that app is that everybody's using without me. Okay, no. The comments are all over here. My communication chakra might be out of whack. Okay, there was no comments on the phone. All right, I'm clearly just a bundle of insecure nerves, because as soon as I don't get a comment for like 10 and a half seconds, on my phone, I'm like, "Everybody hates me." But they're all over here on the laptop. Okay. Thank you. It's only 12:12 here as well, Jamie. Except not really, it's 9:12. All right. You're captivated. Georgina says, "Everybody's captivated", and Addison says, "Everybody's enthralled." Carla says is my communication out of whack. I don't know, where is the communication chakra? I know where the heart one is, I know where the self expression one is. Where is the communication one? I know where the sexual one is. I'm all over that shit. Burn. Okay. You guys are helping me out. Thank you. I just didn't know the comments were coming over here. What's with that Facebook? It's trying to screw with me. What was I talking about? I feel revived. I feel like I've had an injection of self love and confidence, and enthusiasm. Maybe the injection of love came from you guys and not from me. Maybe I'm getting validated right now, and I need to address my own self love shit again. Instead of allowing myself to be validated. Oh, even the wine at the restaurant had changed to terrible wine. I normally get the grated pepper jack [Chiraz 00:16:32]. It's $25 for a glass, and it's amazing. And they pour a big glass, so $25 is pretty reasonable for an oversized glass of wine. But it's not cheap for a glass of wine. They didn't have a single glass of wine that was over eight dollars 50. I was honestly like ... where's the kind of better wine? I find it very scary, and I said this to the guy, who like I said I know. The one who went and got me my ribs from a different restaurant and brought them to me at the restaurant. I said, "I find these prices a little scary, Matt. They're a little scary cheap. What's happening? Where's the good wine gone?" He's going, "I know." The owner's just changed everything. They're trying to cater to a cheaper crowd. So, I couldn't even drink any wine at the restaurant. I had half a glass. So, now I'm just having some ... Of course, I only drink fucking Solo wine's Prophetic Wine. So, I'm having Witches Falls. I mean, ti's the best title ever for a bottle of wine, isn't it? Witches Falls Prophecy. I drink the [inaudible 00:17:36] as well. Isn't it much more fun when I'm not talking about the topic? Okay, let's get back to the topic though. How did I put the banner on the live stream? [German 00:17:44], no idea at all. [German 00:17:46]. We switch to German when we feel like it. [German 00:17:52]. Somebody did it for me. I don't know. But something to do with Facebook Creative. You could Google it, I imagine. So, anyway. It's so nice to wine. I know, I know, you cannot buy a glass of wine for eight dollars 50 in a restaurant, Jason. It's upsetting, it's unbecoming to the wine, and it's probably unbecoming to your own self if you would drink the wine, because it's gonna be full of shit for that price. It's just, the whole situation was just upsetting to behold. So, the triggers, okay. I feel revived. I feel a little concerned that I got validated by comments in a really big way, when I should only be validating my own self, so we'll work on that later. We'll work on it later. We'll work on it later. We'll work on it later. We'll work on it later. We'll work on it later. I'll give you some affirmations. Love thyself. That's probably [inaudible 00:18:45]. And actually I do. Yay me. And we already talked about that earlier today. I did the self pleasure blog. It wasn't really about self pleasure, but I was certainly thinking about self pleasure, and it was about self pleasure. The whole thing was about pleasure. Depends whether you mean masturbation or not, when you're talking about self pleasure. But that was definitely part of it, and it was involved. So, the trigger thing. If you don't ... Okay. If you don't learn the lesson ... Just making sure everything's in order because I'm getting overheated. If you don't learn the lessons that you need to learn ... All right. Now I'm clashing with the painting. I don't match the painting at all. This is gonna have to stay on. This is why I can't sit in front of this painting normally. My art clashes with the other art. If I would turn my back to you, I feel like what's on my back would totally go with that art. No. Nope. Okay. I don't know what country you're drinking you're wine in, but you cannot go around having a glass of wine for eight dollars 50 at a restaurant in Australia. It's not acceptable. If you're in a different country, I'll give you permission to have something for eight dollars 50, depending on where you are. Because sometimes wine here is expensive, right? So, if you see a glass of wine for eight dollars 50, that is a cheap ass, dodgy ass wine that you don't wanna drink, that's for sure. It's upsetting to see that price on a menu. Okay. If you don't learn the lesson from the fucking trigger, it's going to keep coming back at you, right? So, to ... Okay, I was frozen in a most unflattering position just now on my own phone screen. So, it was just a little bloop of a trigger. Exactly it made that noise, as I was walking about doing my business. Which was largely that I wanted to sit in the sun. That was roughly the entire business for the moment in time. And I thought to myself, "Ah, don't even need to think about that. Whatever, put it aside." And I did, for a moment or for several hours, or whatever. And then it just presented itself merrily back to me. Via reappearing in my Facebook feed, like a mother fucker. Just so that I could be reminded again of the trigger, and this time it was like, ugh. Exactly like that, like an annoying fly on your shoulder. And you're just like, "Brush it away, brush it away, brush it away. I don't need to know about this shit. You can mosey on along to another feed, not my feed." But then, then, then, I went and did some inner stuff, [meditationy 00:21:13] sort of zen situation that I had myself in, in the afternoon. You don't need to know all the details, and then from there, something occurred to me, which I found simultaneously fascinating and infuriating. Fascinated and infuriating. Which was that perhaps this trigger had been given to me for the opportunity of growth, which is always the case, actually. I think you'll find. I don't really care for the fact that these comments are not coming up here. Trigger sound bites. Exactly right. The lessons will keep coming back until you learn them. I'm just ignoring the comments about my top. It's not like I was showing anything anyway. God knows I've shown a fuckload more than that on my own streams before. Largely by accident. All right. Check out my black and gold cushion. How do you like my styling of my own couch? I styled this couch myself. I styled myself with my black shiny leggings, and my wild top. I won't flash it to you again since you're all getting so concerned about it. And I styled this black and gold cushion to match that, and then I brought this pinky cushion in to match it. Now here we are. So, all your lessons will keep on coming back until you figure them the fuck out. If you don't shift and learn from what you were supposed to, from each lesson or trigger that presents itself to you, then it's just gonna be like a persistent child in a candy store, just tugging on your leg, except in a much more annoying way and impacting you, potentially in your ability to make money. Something's beeping. Let's ignore it. Potentially in your ability to make money, or receive in other areas, or whatever it is. So, as I went into my zen meditation period within my day, it occurred to me, what if I was grateful for the trigger? Hmm? How do you feel about that? What was the most recent thing you were triggered by? Do you wanna tell me? Put it in the comments. Let's hear. What was the most recent thing where you were like ... Or maybe you were like fuck you. Or maybe you were like ... it really deflated you and it made you feel sad. That's okay. You can own it. We all been there. We've all been there. Share your triggers. So, this thing was just kind of uncomfortable and annoying, but I wouldn't say it was majorly triggering me, but it felt a bit ... It felt like it was throwing me a little bit. You know where you get thrown and you're kinda like, I was on my path, I was completely doing my thing, and just like la, la, la, happy. And now I feel like hmm. Hmm, do I need to think about that? No, I don't want to because it's annoying, so I'll put it aside, but then Facebook just brings it back to you on your news feed, helpfully. And then you go and you try and do your inner shit, and your meditation shit, and your zen shit, and you're like ahhh, and then it's like knocking on the door inside of your head. And so, it occurred to me that I could be grateful. I do indeed know ... Jamie says her most recent trigger was somebody's face. I love it. Jason says, "WB." I've got no idea what that means. Georgina says, "I think you know." I think I do. I've got to admit though, Jamie, I'm frequently triggered by people just from them existing, and frequently inside of my head I feel like saying something to somebody. Like, can you please just not exist near me? And that's 100% my own shit, for sure. Because I do it to random people who did nothing at all. They didn't even bump into me, they did nothing. They were just existing in their own time and space, like being a perfectly lovely, wonderful person, quite likely. Or maybe a complete asshole, but how would I know? They were not doing anything to me, and I'm just like, "Stop existing near me." Is how I feel about the matter. I suppose it's typically when I'm having one of those days, or afternoons where I shouldn't be seen around people, and I should hide myself from the world. Or something like that. Jamie was triggered by somebody's face in their email. That's awesome. Just look at you with your face, right there in the email. So, mine was may be somewhat similar to that. I was definitely triggered by a person for just being a person, and I was like, "I'm sure you're a perfectly lovely person, but I just don't care for your personness right now." And then you see your own ridiculousness, and you're like, "Just put it aside, just centre yourself and be a fucking adult, or a professional, or whoever you're supposed to be imagining that you're being for the day." And then it just keeps coming back and you're like grrr. So, anyway, I decided to flip it into gratitude. And it was actually a real thing, right? It wasn't like I'm going to try and flip this into gratitude, or let me find a way to be grateful for this discomfort. Was I grateful for the person? Maybe. Yes, no I think I was. It was genuine gratitude that came along to me. It was kind of like, ahhh. It was an Unagi moment, for sure. Like, Unagi. Right? It was a moment of realisation and recognition, like ooh, this is good. And do you know why I realised it was good? Because of the burn. Hence the title of this live stream. Let's say it all together. Burn. Okay. Lately my voice has been doing weird things. Two days ago it broke, like a teenage boy. My voice just broke, mid live stream. It was pretty embarrassing. And now I don't know what that was. It sounded like a small piglet grunting. Okay. People copying me, says Julie. That's a definite trigger alert. Trigger alert. In fact, even today when this happened, I may or may not have audioed my friend saying, "Trigger alert." And then I felt like an idiot. Spicy salmon roll. Exactly. Unagi. I thought it was salmon skin roll. Hmm. We gotta watch some Yes Minister, and some Friends. It's obvious. Yes. Okay. Got it. On the friends and the fuckwits. So, I just 100% did flip into gratitude, and the reason for the gratitude was that I realised how good the discomfort was. It actually reminded me in that moment of the feeling, or kind of the philosophy that I have around the days when I do like six to eight hour day getting tattoo work done on me, and often it's about six hours, but the longest I've done I think is nine. So, let's say somewhere between six and eight hour sessions, where we'll have like a five minute fucking break, two or three times throughout, and that's it really. And it reminded me of that, because the way that I've worked to get through that, and even to open up and embrace it, not just get through it, has been by opening myself up to the pain, right? Like I think the first time that I did ... I mean, I had like two little tattoos. One from 20 years ago, when I was 18, and one from about 11 years ago. But they were tiny. So, then when I started doing all the big work that I've now got all over my upper body, the first one which was on my shoulder, was a five hour session. That I just found so painful, I found it so traumatic. For some reason, the next morning my gums were bleeding like a mother fucker. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck, my body was so not used to it. I was just really whacked from it for several days. But I was fine overall. It's not like I couldn't function. But it affected me. And then the next time when I came back ... And I really felt all the pain of it, right? I just found it such a painful experience, but the next time when I came back, I guess I was kind of psychologically prepared for it, and it was gonna be a longer session ... I think that was the first eight hour one, and I really just decided I'm gonna open myself up to this pain, and I'm gonna embrace the pain. And I didn't know if I'd fully decided that in advance. I know I had kind of psychologically prepped myself in advance, and thought about it. But it was within the first hour or so of that day that I noticed I was continually pulling away internally from the pain, and just kind of like we do when something triggers us online, right? Or offline. Where you're like, ugh. You wanna avoid it, or it might just be a little bit annoying like that, which is how I felt today, just a little bit annoyed. But it could be a bigger thing, and then you feel really disheartened, or really sad, or really upset or whatever it might be. And so, you pull away, right? Or you turn away, or you kind of try and withdraw and you distract yourself with other stuff. And in this case, with the tattoo thing, back then that's what I was sort of trying to do. I was trying to pull away internally. You can't pull away physically, or you're gonna screw up the fricking art work, right? And all of a sudden, I had this Unagi moment. Complete fricking hashtag Unagi. And the Unagi moment was ... and if you don't know what an Unagi moment is, then just chat amongst yourselves and figure it out. Hello. I did say trigger alert out loud. I'm definitely not as cool as I purport to be. That's for sure, right? I might walk around presenting myself to the world as somewhat of a badass. I'm pretty certain it's not true, and if I was interviewed extensively on the matter, and required to prove myself, really all I'd be able to present as evidence is probably this jacket, this gold bling-bling cushion, and my tattoos. But probably get through on that. Just a little side tip there, just so you know. Total nerd. That's the problem. Just sneaks out from time to time, and it is what it is. We all have to live with ourselves in the end. So, anyway ... Oh my fucking God. Okay, my friend, who I said trigger alert to, has messaged me saying, "Oh my fucking God", right now. It just came through them. She must've had a trigger alert as well. We'll find out later. I'm not gonna read it now. I can just see the top of it. From time to time the geekyness just slips out, but I feel like I mask it well, and nobody's really quite certain what's going on. Is she secretly like a massive bookworm nerd? Well, actually that part's true. Who sits largely at home watching old episodes of Yes Minister with her father. Well, he lives in another state, but still, on an energetic level perhaps. Or is she a total gangster badass who's just out there taking on the world, and doing whatever she wants, and making millions of dollars? Well, the millions of dollars part for sure. Gangsta badass? That's just a freaking thing that you put on. Right? It's like stepping into a performer. Oh my God, should we get back to the trigger thing in a moment and talk about something about sex for a second? Because last night I was at an event about the bedroom and the sex things, and the enlightenment things, and being more sexual and sensual, and having more pleasure, blah, blah, blah. It was amazing, by the way. But people were talking about whether or not it's okay to be a performer sexually, either to perform to your partner ... you know, like to kind of put on a show. Or performing when you're having sex with your own self, which was an interesting concept for me, because it was like, "Do I? Do I perform when I'm alone?" I actually don't think I do. I genuinely don't think I perform for my own self during sex. I don't even know if I perform for anyone else during sex. I felt a little bit bad about it. I was like, "I don't think I do put on a show. I think I'm just authentic." Which could be a good thing. But then people ... But no, performing is fine, because then people were being like, maybe it's not okay to be a performer, because they were saying it's not authentic or real. And I was still trying to assess my own sexual moves and whether or not I'm a performer. Okay, definitely have performed at times during sex. That's for sure. I feel like I need to bring out the performer more, the more that I think about it. But I was certainly feeling that there's nothing bad or wrong with being a performer during sex, or at any other time, because obviously I perform all the time, and that's really what being a badass is. It's just stepping into it. And it's part of who you are. That's just one part of you. Be all that you are. Be a performer. Be the scarlet woman. Be the quiet book nerd. Be the person who embarrassingly yells trigger alert in a public place, if need be. So, it was actual gratitude, because I suddenly realised that this opportunity had been presented to me via the gods of Facebook. I'm not sure how many of them there are. The Facebook overlords, I feel, would be probably a more appropriate way to classify those people. Rather than Facebook gods. I have to rearrange my legs. So, they had presented the opportunity for me to be triggered several times over, because I tried to ignore it, and then the stupid annoying post just popped merrily back into my feed and I had to see it again. So, I was like fine. Okay, I'll ignore it again. And then I thought about it later, and I was like, "Well, or I could be grateful." And I could imagine to myself ... I thought about the tattoo thing. I thought about how when I learn to lean into the pain of the tattooing, the long sessions, I became grateful for the way that it was strengthening me, and that's how I felt about it. In that moment, as I flipped into gratitude. I was like, yeah. This is strengthening me. This is making me into a warrior of inner power and strength, and resilience. I don't think I used to word warrior, but I did send a message to my friend. I'll check what I even said, and maybe I'll read it to you if it's not too sneaky and cheeky. Well, it's kind of boring, anyway. I said I flipped into gratitude. That was the whole message. It's very boring. It's way more interesting the way I'm telling the story here. Because I just realised that all these things come along to teach us something and to help us to grow, and to become more grounded in who we are. Right? So, maybe you see somebody's post, maybe somebody's triggered by me right now. That would be an unusual thing, and probably the first time that it's ever happened, I would imagine. Somebody should write me a letter and tell me about it, for sure. Don't worry, they already do. All the fucking time. Usually when they sign up as clients, and they tell me how much they couldn't stand me for three years prior to that. Not everyone, not everyone. Where's my comments? I'm getting no comments on my phone. Adidas and Lycra do go together. I have the matching pants for this jacket, you guys. I can go full gangsta. I wore them to a night club opening. It wasn't a night club opening, it was an app launch at Bootsy Bellows on Sunset Boulevard. A year ago. They're like 18 months old, this jacket. How embarrassing. Whatever. But, old fashion. But always fashion. There's no point in time at which the three stripes are not in. But I do have the matching pants for them. They're low rider pants though. They're super low rider. You gotta stay as upright as a pin if you wear those pants. If you bend yourself just a little bit, your whole ass is hanging out the back end, which may or may not be a good thing. But it's an annoying thing when it's a windy evening and you're trying to wear some Tonne Ford shoes with a whole bling-bling black shiny Adidas, slash Adidas. Whatever it's supposed to be, get up going on, and you've got a bunch of bling chains on, and your hair in a top knot because somebody said that it looks fancy. I'm just hypothesising. I'm not saying that that actually happened. So, anyhow, it's always a fricking opportunity to grow and become stronger, and grounded in who you are. If you ignore the triggers, when somebody triggers you ... That's right. I was talking about maybe I'm triggering somebody. I'm triggering people all the fucking time. They do seem to enjoy telling me about it. Well, sometimes my existing clients tell me the things that other people say about me, in enclosed Facebook groups or message threads, or wherever they are. And I guess shocked and appalled, and then other times people tell me themselves how much I annoy the fuck out of them for how ever many years before they fell just wildly and haplessly, and helplessly in love with me. You're welcome. I understand, because sometimes I trigger myself as well, for sure. Sometimes when I watch my own replays, and I really was in full performer mode, sometimes I smack talk myself. But in a total self love way, because I do love and accept myself. I really just nailed that shit last year, actually. After much work prior to that. So, sometimes though, I do smack talk myself. Sometimes I'm like, "Really? Like you really think that that was a smart move? Look at you. Who do you think you are?" But then I think what's happening is it's the performer within the performer, because I think when I'm smack talking myself, that actually what I'm doing is I'm kind of simultaneously playing several Seinfeld-esque type roles at one. So, kind of the voice of me that's smack talking the other version of me who was already on the live stream, that one is that new one who is doing the smack talking, is now quite impressed with her own hilarity and wittiness, and so she's becoming the performer, smack talking the other one. So, then I get super clever at telling my own previous self off. It's kind of confusing, but if you think about it, it's very logical and entirely normal, I'm sure. But anyway, I do. I'll watch my own live stream replays probably half the time, because I have no idea what I fucking said, and then I like to see the comments coming in and what people had to say that I was missing. And it's not uncommon that I'll just be like, "Oh my God, I can't even look at this. This is so embarrassing to look at." Or it's annoying. There's been times for sure, many times, where I'm like, "Would you just shut up? Why are you talking so much? Can you ever possibly get to the point?" Or if it pops on to my screen and starts talking, I'm like, "My God, she's so annoying. She just keeps talking, and talking, and talking." But I say it all with a smile, because I just still also do love it. And I accept it. And I just either way, and nevermind, I keep on allowing it out. So, there you have it. I think that's everything I came here to say. I'm not remote ... Oh my God. I've only had this one glass of wine, because I didn't even drink the wine at dinner, and I've already forgotten how to talk. I'm not ... What's happening? Told you it was topsy turvy day. I'm not remotely impressed with my own ... No, with Facebook's inability to show me the comments on my phone. It's kind of annoying having to look over here all the time. So, the driven by the burn thing was simply, it is exciting to feel the pain, I think, right? I don't know. I get off on it. Not in a sexual way. Sorry, if anybody was hoping that. Nope. Not actually. In a life way, for sure. I find it exciting and fun, and definitely there's some ego in there for sure, I would say, about being able to take it, and enjoy it, and thrive on it, and I feel very self satisfied that I know that I'm getting stronger in situations where other people would flake out, or run away, and do exactly that, and I see them do that, right? So, I feel satisfied with myself when I do like a six to eight hour session at the tattoo studio. I feel glad it's over, but I feel like I became stronger, and I feel proud of myself. And same with many situations in business and life. Many things that I've persevered through, which I just know other people wouldn't. And then I feel really good about myself. And this particular little minor situation today, which was sort of being relatively easy. I was gonna say so easy to brush aside and forget about as well, because it wasn't anything that's really even remotely connected to my world, but then it's so easy ... sort of so easy to brush aside, because really, things do keep circling back if we brush them aside when they kind of knocked on the door for a reason. And instead, I allowed myself to feel it, and allowed myself to feel the discomfort, and to feel that trigger feeling, and to feel kind of that slight annoyance, or whatever it was, and really it's all fear. If we're being triggered by something and we're feeling discomfort or annoyance, or frustration, or whatever it is, being disheartened, it's actually all fear. It's actually all ... it all boils down in the end to some sort of version of maybe I'm not good enough, maybe I couldn't do that, or be like that, or show up like that, or whatever it might be, right? I think even when we're ... Even Jamie said, she was triggered by someone's face. Where in there is there sometimes around how somebody else is showing up? And how you wanna show up, right? Just for example. So, for me, I find it really helpful and I think it was a good choice, to allow myself to then feel all of those feelings, and then to be like, "Oh, this is so good", because just like when I feel all the feelings of the tattoo work, it allows me to grow stronger, because I increase my ability to withstand that so called pain, I guess. Or I realise that it's not as painful as I thought, so I change my perceptions, I adapt, I do all these amazing things altogether. It was kind of the same thing, right? I changed my perceptions, I adapt, I felt myself grow stronger, I felt myself grow more grounded in who I was, and so instead of something that was like a burn or a pain, or a discomfort, being that, and being a supposed bad thing or a negative thing, it became a positive thing, and it became something that was exciting, and that I genuinely felt grateful for that opportunity through the day to kind of heal or shift sometimes inside of myself, and become even more connected to my own self, my own soul, my own truth about who I am and how I get to show up in the world, right? And I just think man, we have all these continual opportunities through the day and through, well, every day, and every week, and every month, and just day in and day out, to grown and to become stronger, better humans, more powerful entrepreneurs, more centred, more soul connected, et cetera. And if you allow each of those opportunities to be what they are meant to be, and what they came here to be, you become this ... Honestly, you just become an unstoppable success machine. Which I believe is how it's meant to be. I feel that that is meant to be the human experience, right? So, I don't think that my, I guess, mindset, which is something that I've cultivated to a strong level, or however you wanna term it, for many years now. I don't think that it's anything special in a sense that it's not ... it is special, and it's special to me, and it's unique, and unique to me as well, but it's available for everybody, right? Yet when I go on occasion into environments with people who are not, I'm gonna say, as committed to their growth work as myself, or my clients, or my friends, actually it tends to shock me because it's quite rare for me to really connect in a deep way, or spend an extended period of time with people who don't kind of think and grow all day, every day. And continually up-level themselves. So, obviously I would go out in the evening to places socially, or restaurants, or the beach, or an airport, or wherever. Clearly I'm around people all the time, but I would say that it's rare to be in a situation where you really hear a lot from people who are not like us, right? I don't know if you relate to this. But it's happened to me once or twice recently, and I found it quite shocking. Like eye opening, and almost like wow, I think I've become super naïve about how the world works. I think I've forgotten how little growth work the vast majority of people do, and how rare it is to actually continually up-level every single day, which is what I do, what my clients do, what my friends do. And I honestly think that 24 hours a day I'm doing mindset work and I'm up-leveling and growing. It's just become automatic, right? So, for us, if you relate, for us then every single thing that comes along, becomes a growth opportunity and a healing opportunity, and I know with my friends and with my clients, and it's like a continual conversation every day, where it's like oh my God, this happened, and I felt this way, and it was like ugh, and then it's like hmm, and what I realised is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? Even random shit, like little road rage, right? I don't even mean something major, or maybe running late, or okay. I'll give you an example. Last week, I was kind of snarky with the new babysitter who came along. A babysitter that I hired from an agency, and she ended up being like 20 minutes late, and I was going to a movie with my sister. And I was like, "I'm gonna miss the start of the movie." She's like ... Oh no, she was 30 minutes late by the time she got here upstairs. I kind of, I was [restrainededly 00:46:57] polite, but I kind of deliberately made my voice in a way where I showed that I was annoyed. And I knew that I was deliberately, I wanted her to know that I was annoyed at her, right? So, I was kind of being understanding, but in a snooty snort of a way. And then when I left, I felt bad about it, and I kind of ... I was really nice to her right before I left, and I sort of tried to smooth over what I felt was my own bad attitude. And now, this is an example, right? Because then I left, and so I spent the drive to the movie theatre kind of going over it in my head, and then as I walk through the car park, I audio my friend. I'm like, "Right. So, here's what happened. Do you feel that I was in a state of ego? Or do you feel that it's fair enough for me to show my boundaries, and show what's acceptable to me when somebody's late? But then again, here's why I would be compassionate to her understanding of her being late, because of whatever such and such reason that I was giving her kind of like an out for being late." She wasn't just randomly late. There was like a whole confusion thing that had happened. But it ended up being probably by the time I'd gone back and forth on audios with my friend about this, and then I spoke with my sister about it as well, while we had dinner, or while we had a drink or whatever. It ended up being probably 30 minutes of an analysis around this situation, which was not like fucking naval gazing, right? It was healing and correcting and understanding something like was I in ego? Or this is a trait that I didn't really feel that was attractive in myself, and then I was like, "Hmm, I notice that I do that from time to time." I used to do it a lot. I've shifted it massively, but let's say that you wait for ages in a queue, and then you get to the front of the queue, and you just kind of deliberately want that person in the checkout, the checkout person, to know that you're shitty about it, right? And that this is not okay, and I'm important, and I shouldn't have had to wait. It's a very common thing that you see people do all the time. I very rarely do it at all anymore, but I definitely used to, and I see it a lot. I see it with people boarding planes, is another one. If there's been some sort of hold up, and so then I talked about that, and I kind of processed it, and I'm like, "Hmm, do I still do that? Because it's definitely not a trait that I desire to keep in myself if I do that." And it was just kind of this whole thing, and then it brought up something in my friend. And so then we spoke about that, and I don't know if it was that situation, or some other sort of similar, pretty low key situation, but recently I found myself saying to someone, "You know, this is not normal that people don't have hiccups in their day, or just random little disruptions or triggers, or they feel a bit bad about their own behaviour, and then they're not sure whether or not they should feel bad about it", or whatever. But they don't then go an have an audio conversation with a friend about it, and turn it into a high level consciousness conversation. And then have all these breakthroughs and a-has and then connect it into some other part of their life, and then have a massive fucking revolution about something huge because you pulled at that one little string. That's not what people do. But that's what we do all day, every day. Every burn, every pain, every discomfort, every disruption, every little trigger gets turned into growth. And so, what I've found is that just through the process of being this person, that over the years, it's become, for a while now, a long time now I would say, like all day every day mindset work. Everything is continually shifting and growing, and evolving, and the smallest things get to become kind of little threads that can be pulled on, and undo the biggest things. And sometimes it feels, I guess, kind of relentless or exhausting, or sometimes you just think, "Man, can I ever just move on and not analyse or seek to understand every single thing that comes along?" But it's not really about that. It's about being so committed to growth. Allison says, "That's the exact sort of friendships I want for me now." Well, I feel that you'll totally create that and call that in through Rich Hot Empire. And that's why I created the inner circle for as well. Not specifically continual shifting and up-leveling and analysis of little day to day situations, but that sort of environment, right? Like a women's circle, or it's like women, men, whatever. But a circle of like-minded individuals who are connected by ... well, a like-minded desire, right? To continually grow and evolve. 100% of my friendships are like that now. I just can't even imagine a friendship that would be different. Yes, it's about sometimes just hanging out and being silly, and having fun, or whatever. Or just sometimes it's just kind of sharing what's going on, and connecting in that way. But honestly, every single thing that causes any, either of us, whoever's in the relationship, any sort of disruption or feeling of, "Oh, I don't feel quite in alignment now", or I feel like maybe that wasn't the best choice, or was I coming from this place? And what do you think? It's just continual discussion and continual evolution and growth. So then, and that's exactly how it is in the inner circle, and there's a few inner circle people in here so you know this, right? But with all of my clients as well, in Rich Hot Empire, which you're in obviously Allison, it's a version of that. Julie says, "It's 24/7, even when I look like I'm doing nothing, I'm doing everything." Exactly. Right? Like I could be standing, waiting for something at the post office, or ... I usually wouldn't do that, so I'd send Serafina. But if I was, right? Or wherever I am, at a store or something, or pumping gas, or I don't know, getting changed in the gym, and you just continually kind of creating your life in your mind. And then on occasion, you go into an environment with normal people, not just okay, passing through the airport or whatever. But where you're actually listening to people who are not like that, and hearing how they do life, and I do find it really shocking. Honestly, I do. I find it kind of like that, is how I feel. I kind of feel like, oh my God. How do you even live? And I guess I logically know that the way we think and do life is so different, but maybe I didn't realise it's so different, because I think you just adapt to, of course I'm gonna turn everything into an exercise and a lesson around alignment. What else would I do, right? Of course every single thing that occurs or happens in my life is monetizable, if I want it to be, right? I don't take every single tiny thing in my life and turn it into content, or turn it into money, but a pretty good percentage. Of course, every random story, whether it's a funny story, or a silly story, or a an up-level story, whatever, of course that can be content. And money as well, right? So, I don't know, it's just ... I just think I'm so fucking happy to be the person that I am, and I'm so fucking happy to have created a community around me of like-minded individuals as well, because I think it would sound crazy if you were trying to explain this stuff to anybody else out there. And of course, that's that's why many entrepreneurs end up alone. Hello, Sally. Hello, Kyra. I see you jumping on. Jamie says, "This reminds me of the beginning of our call on Tuesday." I'm in such a rambly mode. The live stream on Facebook, on my laptop computer over here says that only three people have been reached so far, from this live stream. I feel that that's quite a bunch of lies, actually. Because there's definitely like 28 people who are on right now live and there's been tonnes more before. So, my inner circle, if you don't know ... Okay, that silver cushion was not supposed to be on screen. That was not part of my visuals that I decided. I wanted it behind my back. Let's fix that up. The inner circle is open, by the way, which is my private client, 12 month ongoing one on one mentoring. I have been actively promoting that for two days now, and I've had some amazing badass people reaching out about that. And starting to say yes as well. So, this is a really, really exciting time for me, because my inner circle is ... well, it's my most inner circle. My innermost circle, and it's exciting to really put some focused attention into the growth of the inner circle, for this current time. And just watch the badassery rise. It is completely unlimited one on one access to me. It is the hottest and most badass mastermind in the world. Created by me, for driven entrepreneurs, creators, the crazy ones who just want more. And it's really the kind of thing to have an individual conversation about. So, there's not a whole lot more that I'm gonna say about it right now. If you'd like to know what it's like to mentor with me at the highest one on one level, then the best thing to do is ... Actually, you can click on the cover photo, I think. Let me just double check. You can go on the cover photo of this page, or my personal page, yeah. And if you click on that, there's a little overview description. I'll even put a version of it here into a comment here. But really, you're just gonna message me, okay? You're just gonna send me a private message on my personal Facebook is best. Not this one ideally. I'm live streaming from my business page right now. But I do take messages on the business page, I just prefer them on the personal page. I prefer to have my personal conversations on my personal page. Send me a message if you'd like to know more about the inner circle. I will send you a written overview that explains what it's about and how it all works, and what you get. Largely, you get being in my energy. You get me, you get coming into that space and that environment. You also get a tonne of other things, including amazing retreats and the next one is coming up in July. And then there's a video, or a couple videos even, where I talk about it more, and some other things that you can look at. But you can send me a message about it, and I'll get you all the details. So, I wanted to tell you about that. Here's a small written overview. I'm popping it into the comment now. I really like the way this set looks actually, on my computer by the way. I should sit here on this couch more often. I've got so many cool bling-bling couches in this house. I've got two more really bling-bling couches way over there. So, right here behind this phone screen in my kitchen, and this is the studio, as you know. The throne's right there. And then, through the other room is a massive lounge. The big lounge. The main lounge, downstairs lounge. That has two hot as fuck couches on it. And this massive big painting that's over there, is supposed to sit above one of them, and I'm not sure why it's not up there. And then there's another whole lounge room upstairs which nobody ever uses at all. Lounge room, living room, whatever it is. Anyway. I have the low down on all my living areas. And now you have the low down on the inner circle. It's in the page comment there. That's a small low down. If you want the whole low overview, you gotta message me about that. All right. I could ramble on and on all evening. Do I have anything else to say? Do you have anything else you'd like me to say? Tell me something interesting. Everything gets to be turned into a story about alignment. Everything gets to be turned into growth. That's really what driven by the burn meant, when I divinely had that title for a live stream given to me, whilst in the bathroom. It was really just that everything gets to be turned into growth, and that I think if you embrace the discomfort or even pain, and you see it as purposeful, which it absolutely is and can be, then it becomes exciting. And that, to me, is kind of not even about the outcomes, right? Because the outcome of shifting through discomfort and pain, and triggers, or whatever it is, the outcome is actually like fucking abundance and the ability to receive. The outcome can be phenomenal, right? And absolutely will be, and it will connect into all areas, but for me, what's probably more exciting than that, to be honest, what I'm really driven by is not the outcome of getting through a period of growth, or discomfort, or pain, or whatever it might be. It's actually the feeling that I get from being in that moment, right? Where I'm experiencing the so-called pain, and I'm like, "Oh my God", and I'm okay with it. I'm not only okay with it, but I've actually found a way to thrive on it, and to enjoy it. You know, it could sound a little bit masochistic? Or sadistic? Which ones the one that's to yourself? I don't know. I'm not up with my pain words, even though I'm driven by pain, or driven by purposeful pain. Right? So, it sounds a little bit like that. It sounds a little bit like ... trying to get off on pain for no reason, or something like that. I'm waiting to see if somebody tells me what word it is here in the comments. But it's not that. It's abour realising that these things generally are sent to serve us, and for us to grow, and that it's actually only positive. You know, I think that we could really reframe the concept of pain and discomfort, and struggle, and realise that it's not a bad thing. It's not something to be scared of. No, it doesn't mean that it's gonna suddenly feel comfortable, or that if something feels painful that it will all of a sudden not feel painful. It's about realising that pain, purposeful pain ... it hurts, but then it feels better than what it hurts, right? It hurts so good. And I genuinely believe that. So, you can be feeling the pain and you're in the pain, but you're like, it's so good. It's doing me so much good, right? Same as working out. It's a really obvious example of that. Like, oh my God, I'm loving that I'm feeling this so much. Like oh my God. Fuck, I can't keep going, but it's so good. It hurts so good. And you know that you're growing, and you know that you're becoming stronger. So, to me that's what it's all about, and frankly I'm really not interested in working with, or even collaborating, or communicating with anybody who would think that pain is something to be avoided, or that struggle is something to be avoided, or the discomfort is something to be avoided. To me, that's some of the most exciting stuff in the world. It's where you really have the opportunity to experience what it really means to be human. To experience growth, and to experience the incredible rush and the incredible power that does come from overcoming adversity, or looking I guess, your inner demons, or your inner insecurities in the eye, and pushing on regardless, on the path of alignment. And I think maybe the final thing I wanna leave you with ... Alignment itself is such an interesting term that I feel like very few people understand. Alignment doesn't mean you're bouncing around on a fucking marshmallow cloud with unicorns, sitting by your side, and everything's la. Alignment is continual growth, right? And in fact, we're never fully in alignment. We're always slightly off course, and just adjusting, adjusting, adjusting, kind of like how a plane is never exactly on target for reaching it's destination, but then it does. It ultimately reach there, because it's continually aligning to the destination. So, that's one thing about alignment. But also, the process of alignment itself is one that inherently contains and includes discomfort, and scary times, or confronting times. Or things that are thrown up at us to kind of test us and to help us to become stronger, and to help us become better equipped for the journey ahead, right? If you wanna create an amazing life, and you wanna forge ahead with all of the things that you have inside of you, you're going to need to have certain skills for that. You're going to need to be a person different to the other people out there. You're going to need to be able to handle, or endure, or overcome, but I believe also thrive on things that other people would run from. And it really is a topic that I feel so passionately about, because I think that what actual pain is, in the sense of how most people would define the word pain, like what actually would fucking be painful is living your life in a way where you're not willing to face into adversity, or to face into discomfort, or to face into that growth because oh, it's gonna hurt. Or it's gonna feel uncomfortable, so no, I'll stay over here and stay in the safe zone. Or stay in the comfort zone, or whatever it is. And then okay, look how that life ends up turning out. That looks fucking painful to me. That looks painful in the sense of what people think pain is. Actual pain, what I really believe pain is, in the way we've been talking about it, is so exciting, and it's so fulfilling, and it's so rewarding, and it's just like yeah, I'm doing this thing. I'm really in this life thing, and I'm fucking doing it. So, there you go. I'm gonna go and get more up in my life thing right now, which sounds really weird. I don't even know what it means, but I'm gonna go find something else that I'm gonna go do now, so thank you so much for being here. I feel like it was extra rambly for sure. I'm not sure if it was the change of scenery, or the jacket, or the wine, or the weird experience with the ribs. But whatever it was, it turned out exactly as it was meant to be, because it's always perfect. Everything is always perfect. And as it's meant to be. Which is another reminder when these things come along. Okay. Thanks for watching. Thanks for watching, replay if you're in replay. Let me know if you are. Leave me a comment. I always like to look through my comments afterwards, so say something to me, let me know did this impact you? Did it give you something? Share with me what that was. Have an amazing, amazing rest of the day. I hope you get served up some really good fucking purposeful pain. Some massive triggers that are gonna piss you right off, and then you can sort that shit out, then you're gonna become stronger, and you're gonna join me as a freaking Adidas warrior. And tell me all about it. And if you wanna join me in my inner circle, the most ... the most? The hottest and most badass mastermind in the world for creators, entrepreneurs, crazy ones, message me about mentoring with me one on one in my inner most inner circle. I will send you all the details. Message me on my personal page. Don't forget. Life is now, press play. Bye.

I am here. Here I am. You know when you look something up on YouTube and then it doesn't give you the thing that you were looking for and then you thought that it was there? Lee Gibbs, what's up? Rich Hot Empire bad ass in the house. I feel like I'm having one of those days, one of those days, one of those weeks, one of those lifetimes where the world just seems overly quiet. I feel that I should brighten it up. Up, up, up. This is Will Robinson of the [crosstalk]. What? ... group. I'm the- Stop. ... to discover evidence of an alien intelligence. Oh, shit. YouTube stop. YouTube is just doing what it fucking wants. Should we let it keep going? YouTube's just rocking it on out. I wasn't even going to do that. Oh, okay. No, that's enough of that. It's been one of those days, one of those lifetimes, one of those weeks, one of those months, one of those years where you know when you just look around or you walk around or you go around? Do you think we have too much light? Less light? Sad. More light. Happy. Cord in the way, not happy. Hello, people of the internet. Now you can all wait for just a moment, just a little moment. Chat amongst yourselves. Because what I want to do is share this lives too. Larissa, I considered changing my shirt because I feel like people already saw this who were live with me in the High Vibe Mastermind just before. I could have made the effort to change my shirt. Then I was like, "Well first thing, nobody gives a fuck." Secondly, I look fucking fabulous because of my amazing light so why would I change anything? I'm just going to sit in this chair and basically never move until the end of time. Then what happened was smack down time. Purpose church with Cat. I think that's what's happening. Let's go. What happened was we were talking about all the things. What's happening now? Do you feel like I look less bright than I did before? No, that's too much bright. I think I might have a small lighting addicts anonymous problem of some kind. I don't know how I even lived in my life before lights. Now I got to admit, the world seems kind of quiet when I'm not talking. It seems wrong basically is the truth of the matter. It seems like I should always be saying something. I have many things to say. Come on over. I suspect you're probably the same. This is one of those live streams where you've got to get up higher. You got to get up higher, because you can feel that the ... I feel like I should sit on the back of this chair. Do you think I should have been sitting on my throne? Is it just flat-out bad form that I'm not sitting on my throne right now for this live stream? I'm sorry. I'm in my pyjamas. Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to do my stretches while I sit here. I get a daily notification reminder from my Google calendar that says, "Stretch whilst learning Russian and French." I don't know if you can learn Russian and French at the same time as each other, but I'm attempting to do it while stretching every evening in my groinal region, because I've decided that I want ... [Corinne 00:04:30] says I should go to the throne. Show of hands if I should go to the throne. Send your votes into me via love hot shower. If you're on your cell phone thingy, then where your emojis are, emojis, the little sticker that's on the inside of the emojis is going to blow your beautiful mind. You'll be able to send flying angel devil cats across the screen. Do it. Do it. Oh my goodness, [Rashida 00:05:00] says throne as well. How am I to deny? I'm nobody to deny. Anyway, I've decided I want to be able to have ... I'm sorry, this is just one of my goals, and I'm going to do it. There they are, the stickers. I want to be able to open my legs completely up, out wide, like a sideways splits. I want to go back to doing the sideways splits. What's wrong with that? Nothing. I used to be ... I can still do the regular splits. I can demonstrate right now if you insist. Probably won't, because I feel like this live stream is already going to go in too many crazy directions for sure. I want to get back to doing the sideways splits. My system is, I'll show it to you, my system is that every evening when I'm sitting here like so thus, thusly, on my chair, doing my work in the evening. By the way, if I'm ever on the phone to you, if you're my client and I'm on the phone to you and you know that it's evening time for me, I guarantee you I'm doing a groyne stretch at the same time. What I do is, I'll show you. That was not what I meant to do. Calm down. I put two chairs ... My pants are just cool, that's why they've got holes in them, all right? Nobody ripped holes in the pants. They came like that. They were extremely expensive. I got them in Beverly Hills at the yoga studio. They're Arlo pants. I have the matching top. I look cosy as fuck when I'm wearing it all. I sit on one chair that's back a little bit like this, and then I put the other chairs slightly forward, one on each side. Then I sit there, and I get into it. It's pretty painful. Then over time, I widen. I widen, like I basically am creating some kind of a 17th-century, one of those stretchy torture, the rack. You know what I mean. When they would put you on the rack, okay? I'm going to try to get this back in the tripod now. I'm getting into it already. It feels uncomfortable, but it feels like it's going to be beneficial in many ways, which I'm sure I don't need to explain or point out. One of them is I'm going to become a gymnast. I am a gymnast already. I can do many gymnastic-y things from when I was a gymnast. See? I'm going wider already. I can't do this in the throne though. Now I'm getting into my stretch while I'm doing it. My legs are nearly all the way out. Well, they're not at all. They're not at all. They will be at a right angle. Give me a couple more weeks and they'll be all the way out. I learned this from Amanda Francis, by the way, because she was insane flexibility, that girl. I have pretty damn good flexibility myself actually, but she told me how when she was 13 she would lay up against the wall and just every day let her legs go down further and further. We were working out together at the gym when she came to attend my San Diego day. Then she ended up sleeping in my bed. It's a normal thing to happen with your private clients. Then we went to the gym together the next morning, and she was just stretching all over the fucking place. I'm not used to people being more stretchy than me, and I didn't particularly care for it, but I was impressed. Basically, that's a long story of how I decided to do my stretches daily while sitting on my chair and learning French and Russian at the same time. It's not really working that well on my subconscious mind so far to try and mix the two languages together. I feel like if I'm committed to it and I just decide, then it's going to work. That's how I feel about it. Now I've got to come back, back, back, back, back to wherever I picked up this story earlier. We were doing the High Vibe Mastermind live stream. I don't know if I can go to the throne now you guys, because the problem is that when I stretch my legs this wide and I've got them on the chairs, like on the stretching rack, they're kind of stuck now. I'm kind of stuck here in the sideways splits stretching position. I'm going to have to stay here until morning until somebody comes along and rescues me from my own crazy self. I think we're going to stay here. In theory, the throne would look a lot better. Now I'm starting to get throne [inaudible 00:09:23] by not being on the throne. Too bad. Let's wait for tomorrow for the throne. We were doing the High Vibe live stream for my members. I was talking about bringing the energy that you need to bring, the energy. Leo, you think you just joined at an interesting time, you seriously are mistaken, my lady. You need to rewind afterwards, because you will see the real shit that actually just happened, although it was not that interesting at all really. I feel like it definitely is normal to be ... I demonstrated the stretch. I showed the whole situation and explained it in a very professional manner. It's definitely normal to be so high vibe that you couldn't sleep. It would actually be rude and selfish to the rest of the community to not be so high vibe that you couldn't sleep. Then the next thing that I was going to say was okay, the spotlight thing, I'll get to that in a moment. It was a very relevant point. Thank you, Jamie. I appreciate the validation of my hilariousness. I did have quite the argument with my brand designer in LA in February as to whether or not I was allowed to be officially branded as hilarious, because he tried to argue with me that I'm not hilarious. He said maybe I'm funny, but not hilarious. He's German and he's quite German about it. I can say that because I'm sub-German. I don't know if sub is a thing that's relevant to our culture or our race, but I'm honorary German from growing up there in my teens and I speak it fluently. So there. Anyway, he was like, "Well, are you actually hilarious? Because I don't think you're hilarious. I think that you'll find that you're funny." He didn't want to include hilarious as one of the descriptive words in my official rebrand. He's a good friend as well, by the way, so I felt no problem at all saying exactly what I think. Not that I normally do. I was like, "Excuse me, I am fucking hilarious, Chris. I will prove it to you." I said, "People send me laughing emojis all the time on my live streams, and they tell me that I'm hilarious." He said, "They're just sending live feed emojis and they're saying hilarious, but when people say hilarious, they really mean that you're funny." I was like, "No. No. No." I got straight on What's App and I was like, "Team ninjas, find me all the most hilarious clips of my live streams and send them over forthwith before the end of business LA time." Which they did not do, because they were fucking asleep because it was the middle of the night in Australia. Instead, I had to do a live demonstration for him. A live demonstration. The only thing for it was to tell my story of spiritual pooping, so that's what I did. By the end of the story, he was in a state of somewhat shock and horror. I mean, I think that people have a certain perception of me. I can present the world, myself to the world, as a fairly classy lady about town when I feel so aligned and maybe I carry a Chanel bag or whatever, and it makes people think that I'm [inaudible 00:12:36] and standing. Then I just bring out the freaking country whatever it is that's just up in there that just comes out, just I don't know, I can't even explain it. It's probably the same part of me that was singing freaking Cold Chisel on the live stream in the High Vibe before. I'm so sad that I didn't finish the rest of that song. I feel like I should sing some of it now for you, because I was so into it. Who wants me to sing Khe Sanh? I want to sing Khe Sanh. I was so into it. I wanted to be rocking it out at the pub or something. Anyway, by the time I finished the spiritual pooping story his mouth was hanging over in shock and he probably was going to sack me as a client, except it was too late I was already there with my entire team from Australia with me as well, or half of them. He agreed that I'm fucking hilarious. There we go. That's the whole story. Zing. I'm not making this up, but there is a ghost in the house. Because just when I said zing, okay it didn't happen that time, but the time before that the dishwasher just sung. It's a dishwasher ghost. Well obviously [inaudible 00:13:44] it's spiritual pooping. If you don't understand what spiritual pooping is, you can't understand it. I suppose I could tell you about it but I don't really care to. Just so you know, it's not an analogy. If you watched all of my live streams, it would only take you 1.5 lifetimes, but you would definitely see me talk about it at some point in time. Not the stupid water machine. What's next? Then we're in the High Vibe Mastermind live stream. I was singing a bit of Khe Sanh, because I thought that Jimmy Barnes was downstairs on the beach. According to my client Lisa, it was a fake Barnes. Barnes is going to be here sometime over the weekend. If you don't know who he is, you should just become Australian immediately and then you'll understand. He's like the Aussie answer to Jon Bon Jovi. He's an ageing rocker. He's an icon. He's like the man of my youth, so to speak, in a not-weird way. He's going to be right downstairs on the newly-erected stage that's just down there this weekend. I got super excited about it. Who could not get excited about a little bit of Barnes on a Thursday evening? As a result of that, I had to play some Cold Chisel. It all went on from there. Then at some point in time, I had to sing it, because you can't not, clearly. Then from some point from there, it got into talking about energy of sales. Energy of sales. Then I wrote down an important catchphrase which came forth from my mouth as I was presenting. The catchphrase was well if you want to be in the spotlight, then fucking act like you deserve to be in the spotlight. I thought, "That is a damn good Facebook post." I can put it as my goodnight Facebook post before I go to bed. My hair is stuck. My hand is stuck in my hair. I'm not trying to just sit here with my hair looking cool. My hand's actually stuck. It's stuck. There's some kind of weird situation going on there. It hurts. It really hurts. What's happened here? I think somebody's put honey in my hair. I don't know what's going on in my home today. There's all sorts of shenanigans, and not in a good way. I'm losing the gist of it. I feel like we should move to the throne. I feel like I learned something. Should we play some Cold Chisel to make up for it? I feel I can get it to work. I think I've been waiting for it, this whole moment. If you're not Australian, just seriously sort yourself out. As I said to the High Vibers, the thing that you've got to understand about me which is a bit of a confessional that I never thought I would say is I think I'm actually bogan at heart, because I get so excited by a bit of Chisel or Barnes. Recently when I was on the phone to my lawyer about my will, he asked me which songs I want at my funeral, which I thought was a little bit of an untoward question to ask somebody while they're sitting in Bali drinking a fucking smoothie. Nonetheless, I answered the question like the professional I am. I said, "Well, obviously I want Khe Sanh at my funeral, followed by House of Pain, Jump Around." Here we go. If you don't know the song, sing along anyway, because you must know the song. (Singing) Just one more little piece. (Singing) It's so good. (Singing) Mark loves me. I don't get [inaudible 00:17:53]. I don't know what's happening. He loves me. Thank you, Mark. (Singing) He said their legs were often open but their minds were always closed. A little bit more. We'll just keep going, because we just roll. (Singing) I don't know all the words now. I'm just waiting until bits that I know. (Singing) If you don't know the song, you've got to go listen to the song. I just don't know how anybody could have survived in life without Khe Sanh. Really, like really. The world seems so empty and quiet without that music on. I don't know why I keep getting away with being able to sing on my live streams and play music, but I'm rolling with it until I get an official pardon. I don't want a pardon, because I've got nothing to be pardoned from. A memorandum that says don't do that anymore. He does talk about going to southeast Asia. That's a good bit. I feel like we could play that bit. Let's talk about the spotlight thing. I feel like there's so many boring people on the internet. Sometimes I'm pretty fucking sure that I'm one of them. I know I can be extremely laissez-faire about how I'm showing up. I apologise for that. If you ever see me being really dull, like I'll give you a demonstration of how I am when I'm dull. Hi. Today we're going to talk about online marketing. I'm going to teach you about online marketing. What I've learned about online marketing is that there's a lot you need to know about online marketing. Probably the main thing you need to know ... It's [inaudible 00:19:43] laugh at yourself when you're being so bad. Probably the main thing you need to know about online marketing is that online marketing is a very ... I lost it. I'm sorry. I don't know. Probably that's how I've acted sometimes. It's just teaching you about online marketing in a very serious way. I never sound like that. I feel like it sometimes though. Good, I'm happy to hear it. You know that when you teach people properly, like properly, not prop-ly but properly, about online marketing, you've got to make your eyes bigger. You've got to make your eyes a little bit bigger like that and put your eyebrows up, just up. Just get them a least bit up. You've got to slightly tilt your head forward. It starts to look a little bit crazy. I'm just channelling other fempreneurs that I know. Fem-bot-preneurs. I feel like I've done it sometimes. I feel that way. I'm happy to hear that I haven't. This is how it's done, if you wanted to know. You jut your head forward a little bit, and you talk with an upward lilt at the end of every word, because actually you don't know what you're talking about. If you just keep talking, even though you've got that slight question in everything you're saying, maybe people will buy from you. Then you forget what you're saying, you freak the fuck out, and you don't live stream again for four months. You've got to look a bit ... You've got to go like that with the eyes and the eyebrows and the head forward, because then people know you're very earnest. The number one thing that you should be looking like when you're teaching about online marketing ... By the way, my vagina is getting fabulously stretched right now. I haven't moved my position from the sideways splits the whole time we've been talking. I was excited about that. The number one thing when you're teaching about anything, not just online marketing, is to look very earnest. Because if you look very earnest, then people know that you know what you're talking about. That's how you do it. That's the boring version of me, which I apologise for, which I feel that I've done many times. We might have a problem. Oh no. Oh, lucky. I thought my lights had died. I was going to give up and leave. Let's just skip ahead then. Let's just skip ahead. Here we go. We'll skip ahead to here. (Singing) We had a good intermission. Let's continue on. I did a damn good job of boring [Leora 00:22:31]. Don't mock my boring. It was boring as fuck. It was quite energetically exhausting, to be honest with you. I feel like my eyes have goggled up into the top of my head. No wonder people are freaking addicted to all sorts of escapism shit when they have to market that way. Anyhow, anyhow, anyhow, I feel like people don't ... Somebody needs to tell the people, and I shall appoint it unto myself, unto myself. I shall appoint myself as the person who tells the people that if you want to be in the spotlight, and you feel like you were born to be in the spotlight, then you're going to need to freaking be in the spotlight. I'm pretty obsessed with this new lighting. I'm just going to use it for all manner of analogies for probably months on end. You should act like you deserve to be in the spotlight. You should turn the lighting up even more until you become a ghost angel. Then you should freaking say something interesting. Now what's amazing and amusing and entertaining, message me Rashida, and I will tell it to you. You are going to be absolutely delighted about the lighting situation. What's amazing ... okay, wait. Hold up. It's 11:11. That was just an 11:11 celebration. It's 11:11 right now. Pause. Moment of silence. It's still 11:11. I hope I'm not taking the 11:11 in vain. I'm going to continue on. What's amazing and ridiculous, if you think about it, that nobody seems to have figured the fuck out, is that if you can bring it as an entertainer, and I must admit that mostly when I get into my silly mode, which I'm kind of in right now ... Oh, don't give me the 9/11. 9/11's are chasing me all over the globe. I get 9/11 all day every day. I think that I'm quite the idiot when I go into my entertainer mode. Actually, when I get off the live stream, at the end of the live stream, I feel super self-conscious. I go into kind of a hidey-hole, and I have to go and get, I don't know, like a blankie and just curl up with it and rock myself back and forth a little bit. Not really, but I feel like that for a moment in time, because I feel like I was an idiot, and people are probably like, "Look at this idiot. Who does she think she is, dancing and fringing ... " Fringing? I was going to say singing freaking Cold Chisel and I went with fringing. Who does she think she is fringing Cold Chisel? Why? Why do I keep getting away with it? Why? I just keep pushing the boundaries, because I can see that I'm getting through all the boundaries and it's exactly what I've always done for my entire life. It's the truth. I get self-conscious about it, because I feel like an idiot. I feel like I have no substance, no substance, you understand. I trust that at some point in some way I'm getting some kind of fucking message across, whatever it is. Then further to that though, and what I was really trying to say was nobody seems to really quite get that if you can just bring it with the performance and the entertainment, then actually, actually, actually, actually it doesn't really fucking matter what you're saying or teaching. You can sell whatever you fucking want, because people are connecting to you emotionally and energetically. Yet we've got all these leaders ... Lee, you should just set your alarm for 11:11 to enjoy the 11:11-ness of it through your body, the 11's and 11's. Sounds legit. Wait, okay. A guy once told me that if you twirl your hair when you're talking to him that it means you want to have sex with him. Do you think that's true? Because I don't even know if there's any men on this live stream. I think we're in a man-less situation right now, and yet here I am twirling my hair. Do you think I'm thinking about a man? There's no men that I can see right here. Maybe the dishwasher ghost is a man. Is that a true thing? If you're with a man and you're twirling your hair, does that mean you want to sleep with him or does it just mean you're really in love with your own silky locks? Because that's honestly how I feel about my hair, but I'm curious to know your opinion. What was I saying? Something about entertainment, being in the spotlight. I'm just going to go onto a tangent. There is something in it, even if it's a girl crush. What about biting your lip? Does it just mean you've got a piece of dead skin on your lip, or if you're biting your lip it means you want them to kiss you? Can you manufacture those reactions though, or is it real and true? It doesn't even matter. Stop distracting me, everybody. Stop changing the topic. I think the point was if you think that you're a leader, if you think that you're born to be a leader, and then you're freaking trying to teach shit on a live stream, then you miss the whole point of the whole goddamn point. Hair is flirtatious. Maybe I'm flirting with everybody here. I'm just flirting with all you all. I'm just like hi, hi, hi. This is my best selfie. Look, I'll show it to you. No, when you go a bit too side-on, it makes my nose look weird. It's kind of like slightly down. That's it. I've shown it one time before. I shall never show it again. I don't want anybody taking my secrets. I need to get out of the sideways splits. I've got to lift my own legs up with my hands, because they're stuck there from being stretched for too long. Youchie. My groyne is as open as a new daisy. I don't know if that is something that's open, but it feels open. Thank you, Addison. My hair is looking amazing after it got freshened up a few days ago. Oh, my hips have had new life breathed into them. They're going to be able to do all manner of interesting things. I'm really honestly just thinking about in the gym is the truth of the matter, but I'm sure they'll be useful in other areas as well. Mainly I'm concerned with the gym, to be perfectly frank. Because I already got the flexibility in the other areas, let's just clarify. I can put my legs any which way that I like, whether or not I care to depending on the situation is another matter entirely, right? Because I feel like you don't really want to go there with your legs completely up over your head and spread out for any old person, that's kind of like an advanced level in a video game that you've got to unlock or something. You've got to reach a special sort of ranking to get that. Because then people just think that they can do whatever the fuck they want with you, which may or may not be allowed and true and okay. Leaders. Leaders who think that they are leaders and don't fucking act like leaders are not leaders. That is roughly the point that I was trying to get to. A leader, am I right or not, am I right or am I freaking right as fuck, a leader needs to be a performer. If you're not performing and entertaining as a leader, then you're not a leader. Yes or yes? Yes or yes yes? Yes yes yes yes, or yes yes yes yes yes yes? Deborah, it was just straight-up true. I don't show all my tricks to any old person in the bedroom. In fact, largely I don't show all my tricks at all. I'm just thinking about ... I think I have some sort of blockage. Maybe it's an emotional connection thing. I'm going to think about it. I shall report back via live stream, as I always do, once I've had the opportunity to tune into that and potentially experiment. Yes, you agree. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes says Terry. Exactly right. Exactly right, Terry. Exactly right, Rashida. How the fuck do you consider yourself a leader if you cannot perform, captivate, magnetise, entertain? Am I here? Am I over here? What's happening? Is she talking about stretching, now sex, now this, this? I mean, the beautiful thing is, catch me if you can, I'm sorry not sorry, but I don't even think about how to do it. It just fucking happens. It just comes out of me. I'm just born for it, and clearly quite certain about the fact. That's really the whole story. I can't teach it to you. I can't teach you how to be interesting or magnetic. You can't fucking teach that shit. Am I going to teach you? Am I going to do teaching? Am I going to run a course on freaking selling from the stage and magnetising from the stage? Am I going to tell you to make sure you use your arms to move people's attention? Am I going to tell you to pattern interrupt them so they don't fall asleep in their chairs? Imagine the boring-ness of it all. It would be completely like this. Hi, I'm going to teach you about how to magnetise and sell from the stage. That's how I'd feel about it anyway. I'm sure I do a better job of it than that. It would roughly look and sound like that. I'm not going to teach you any fucking thing. I won't teach a single thing to a single person, including my own clients. I am not here to teach you. I am here to reach into your soul and grab it and help you to unleash the power that is inside of there already. Basically, if you're not already that person, you don't know you're already magnetic and entertaining as fuck, you should leave, leave now, unless it's that you want to see the stretches again and the sex talk. Then really you're just being kind of like a creepy stalker person if you're only hanging around for that, right? If you're not a 1% within the 1%, magnetic and entertaining as fuck, story-teller leader who knows that all eyes should be on them all the time and also all the lights, then you shouldn't be here and that's that. Deborah says now there will be a few who try to go on and be funny. Exactly, exactly right. I can't wait to see it. Good luck. Good luck. What's the expression? Good night. I don't know why, I nearly just flashed you my boobs for real though. I've got no bra on underneath. I just pulled my top up. I do really weird things when I'm talking. I don't know what happens. Luckily, I actually stopped myself at the crucial moment. Apparently, I can get away with singing a bit of Chisel on a live stream. I don't think I could get away with flashing my tits. I'm not going to find out either, just to be clear. People try, people try, people try. It's going to sound egotistical to say, but I'll go with it anyway. People will try to be me. Either people will be infuriated by me, infuriated at ... Why does my hair still keep getting stuck in my hand? I'm pretty sure there's honey in here. I've got to sort that out. I don't know what it is. If it's not honey, it might be some Sweet Baby Ray's. It could be that, but you would see that, wouldn't you? I only ate like 18 lamb cutlets for dinner covered in Sweet Baby Ray's. I had an entire, well, rack, plate, whatever it's called, of sticky porks for dinner, for lunch. Sticky pork, not sticky porks. I don't think I had several pigs, it was only one. I don't know what is happening to my appetite since I got here. I'm eating like I'm eating for 10 men who are about to go on a freaking jungle exploration hike. Hike? Who hikes? Sounds like a boring one. Adventure ex-bonanza. My metabolism has kicked into overdrive. My legs were freaking like hard and lean and shapely as fuck today in the gym, extra, extra. I think because I've been main-lining five pieces of French toast every morning for breakfast. I'm enjoying it fabulously, but it's kind of confusing the fuck out of me how much I'm eating at the moment. Anyway, let's test out how those stretches worked. My hips are so open. You can probably store things in there in the sides of them there's so much openness there that wasn't there before. We'll do a lotus now while we sit here. You should never live stream without doing some hip opening, I feel, because it's very inefficient. Inefficient. You could also have a subliminal little air pod in your ear that's playing your French and Russian at the same time, so you learn a language. That was the cutlets coming up, and the Sweet Baby Ray's. People might try to be me. I don't know why. I don't know why, but I've seen it happen before. I saw a whole bunch of them dye their hair red, and then I changed it to blonde. I was like, "Catch me if you can." To be perfectly honest with you, and I try to be and I do use that expression probably overkill manner, I've felt that way the whole time in business, and even in business before business was online. I've always noticed. I'm sure you've noticed this as well. Let's obviously just remind ourselves that I'm not here just talking about me being freaking entertaining and magnetic as fuck. I'm talking about everybody here who's that same person. Whether or not you're stepping into it is another matter that we perhaps should get to talk about. I've always noticed people trying to model what I'm doing in business, even like when I was a trainer and I would do all these cool extra things. I would always have extra side hustles on the hustle as a trainer. I would always make a load of extra money in different ways, not just from training clients. I just did a tonne of extra shit. I was always freaking coming up with ways to make money. Then everybody would try and copy it, and I would just be like, "It's not going to work." Then it didn't work, and I was like, "Bitch, please. Because you're not me." I was probably a bit egotistical about it. I just felt like catch me if you can, because when you think that you've figured out my move, I'm already 50 fucking moves ahead of you on the next move, and that move is so freaking old. It's still what I do now. However, however, it shouldn't matter, because obviously the point is never to model another person. The point is to let what's inside of you out. If you resonate with me and you feel like I want a sharp, as bold, as crazily as her, and if so, I shall send you some medication swiftly, because clearly you are blessed with the craziness of the craziness as well. I think that most people would be terrified to be like me. The ones who are born for it will be like yes, that's how I want to show up. It's not that you want to show up obviously as me, it's that you see something inside of me that you know is inside of you. Am I right or am I right? Yes or yes or yes yes yes yes yes yes? Which one? You can choose whichever yes you like, right? It's a resonance. It's never that I'm teaching somebody how to do anything. I have nothing to teach at all. I'm a shocking teacher. I could never care for the profession myself. I was very bad at attending the classes. I just got all the top marks from manifestation. I like to learn things though. I like to learn from performance and entertainment and leadership, even when it ... Yes, thank you for the yeses. Even when I was keep going to church all the time, Ruby Lee, do you remember or were you too young to remember, I see Ruby on the live stream, who was a rich hot empire bad ass who's testimonial I just posted today. She did rich hot empire in January and did 20K in her first month and quit her job and increased her email list by 31%. More relevantly to the point of my story about church, I've known Ruby for 25 years because she's the best friend of my younger sister. Anyway, do you remember Pat [Mas-ee-tee 00:38:37] back in Waverly Christian Fellowship, Ruby? I'm going to use this as an interjection moment to remind you guys that rich hot empire has begun. There's still time if you want to work with me one-on-one for six weeks in the exact programme that I just mentioned that Ruby did in January. This is the last time to work with me at this level one-on-one for the six-week intensive until way later in the year. Because after this closes, which will be probably in the next 24 to 36 hours and then it's going to be sold out, after this the only way will be in my $72,000 inner circle. This is nothing like $72,000. This is six-week one-on-one intensive. Results are fucking killer. It is an amazing transformational programme. I just popped a comment in about it. You should mention me about ... you should mention me? You should definitely mention me wherever you feel called, and tag me as well so I know. You should message me over on my personal page about rich hot empire. You could also go, since Ruby's jumped on here and now we're talking about church, but it was also very timely about rich hot empire, I'm going to give you the link. You can watch her video, which is such a beautiful video, by the way. Thank you so much again for that. I love to watch it. I watched it about 14 times, or maybe four. Still quite a few. You've got to go watch Ruby's video. It's amazing. I'll give you the link right now. There it is. Do that afterwards. Anyhow, there was this minister, preacher, whatever he was, Pat Maseetee. Now, some other people here may know who he is because he then transformed himself out of the church. I think he got ejected actually for untoward activities is the truth of the matter. Then he became a Mindset Millionaire, Millionaire Mindset mentor and coach. Basically, motivational speaker. He's also the type person ... Hi, Christy. That was a super high voice, I'm sorry. That was extra excitement. You missed me singing. You're going to have to watch the replay for the singing bit. Love you back. That's love hot shower for Christy and for everybody else. There's a virtual hug. That's the hug. Anyway, anyway, anyway, even back in church, and Ruby remembers because she was fucking there 25 years ago. We certainly weren't cursing about it at the time though. There was this guy, this minister, Pat Maseetee who then got excommunicated from the church for too much sex outside of where it should have been, and then became a Millionaire Mindset coach. He is an amazing, successful entrepreneur, and an amazing speaker. I remember watching him speak on stage in the church when I was like six years old, or seven or eight. Very young anyway. Maybe I was 10, I don't know. I was young. He was my favourite preacher because he was so entertaining and he was so funny. He was very irreverent, and he was hilarious. Now, what did he teach about as far as preaching and teaching? Well, I don't know. We're talking nearly three decades ago for the love of god. Don't have too many expectations of me. I'm sure, I'm quite certain that he would have been getting some kind of godly, biblical message across in whatever he was doing. What I remember is the entertainment. What I remember is how much I really enjoyed his messages even at that young age. I was always really excited when he was going to be the preacher or the speaker for that day. I always sat up straight in my chair and paid extra attention. I just wonder why don't people realise this with preaching and teaching online? Why does anybody think that a single fucking person out there in their audience wants to sit there on a cold, hard pew ... okay, we didn't have pews in our church. It wasn't that sort of church. Why does anybody want to sit there on some kind of internet pew and just learn shit? Nobody does. Nobody wants to learn anything from you. They think that they do, but let me ask you a question. Are they binge-watching you, or are they binge-watching fucking whatever it is, young girl on whatever show that's on, what is it? Stupid Stan, it's a silly name. Are they binge-watching Netflix, right? Are they binge-watching you, or are they binge-watching Netflix? Oh, my hips. Because honestly, I know for a fact people are binge-watching my stuff. I know for a fact that ... No, I wasn't talking about sex, that's for sure. He was communicating the energy of the high viber. I know people binge-watch my content, because they tell me, and because I know that I'm fucking hilarious, so why would they not binge-watch my content? When I do my most random, all over the place live streams, which this one appears to be ... My god, I just realised I can have octopus arms. Check it out. I love it. This only happens normally when I'm at the SLS hotel. Can you see my octopus arms in the window behind me? My daughter does the best impression of a jellyfish, you guys. I don't know how this came up in conversation. I have an unusual method of parenting. One day I said to her, "Alyssa, be a jellyfish." I said it in a stern, demanding tone, just like that, because I like to say random things to my children to surprise and delight them. More so to shock and appal them, but then they think it's funny and it's always fabulous. I'll just randomly say really weird shit. They might be trying to talk or say something, I don't know, whatever it is. Out and about, we're having a conversation, and I'll just randomly drop something like, "Alyssa, be a jellyfish." They just respond to it. My children are so [inaudible 00:44:21]. They're going to be multi-millionaires by the time they're 11.11 years old for sure. She doesn't even skip a beat. She's not like, "What the fuck?" Well, she wouldn't say that, but I've definitely seen it on her face before. She's just like ... I was like, "Oh my god, you look exactly like a jellyfish." Actually, she was kind of like a double chin. She kind of went ... then she bobbled her head around. I was like, "Holy shit, you're an actually exact jellyfish. I don't know how you did that, but it was amazing." I've used it many times since then. Why are we talking about jellyfish? Because of this, octopus. I'm completely lost. I'm at a total loss. Do you think I finished the whole live stream already and I just thought I was still going? Because I feel like I'm done. What was I talking about? I honestly have no idea. I know I talked about Ruby, I talked about church. I talked about nobody wants straight-up teaching, who cares. Oh, binge-watching. Binge-watching people. Binge-watch me, because I'm hilarious. I know that already, and because they tell me. Whenever I do a really random, stupid, like this live stream. After this live stream, for sure I'm going to have ... It's kind of like a walk of shame feeling. I've never even done a walk of shame. What have I got to be ashamed about? I understand the concept from the movies, which I should be in, by the way. I will. Anyway, I have a walk of shame type feeling after I do a silly, funny live stream. I will probably have it after this one. I just cleared it right then and there. Maybe I'm done with that. Maybe that was a silly thing that I've been getting myself into. I feel like that was really silly. People probably think that she thinks she's all that, or I think like, "What am I even doing? Why am I doing that?" However, I carry on, because I allow my message to be bigger than my own bullshit. I continue to show up like this. I know that these are the ones that get the best rankings. Not that it's too big, but if it was too big, you would be getting rankings. These are the ones where people are like, "I can't stop watching. I literally can't stop watching. I can't. I'm supposed to be ... " Fucking honey. "I'm supposed to be going to work, or I'm supposed to be doing whatever." Why would they be going to work? Sometimes they seem to need to be. They're just freaking watching it instead of Netflix. If people aren't watching you instead of Netflix, be fucking interesting is all I'm saying. If you want people to be interested in you, then consider being fucking interesting. It's an interesting idea, I think you'll find. Terry says a breakthrough. Entertainment, Deborah. Exactly. Addison says I need you to entertain me every morning like this. I should. It's extremely irresponsible and selfish of me that I don't do an entertainment-based show every day. I apologise. I actually love to do it more than anything. It's my favourite thing. Then some people watching it in the mornings who are [inaudible 00:47:33] like you, and then other people are watching it in bed at night, and then they can't go to sleep because of all the high vibery. I don't apologise at all. Not even a little bit. In fact, I'll just play you some more music to rev you up so that you can't sleep so you get more excited about ... I could sing any time, any time. I'm trying to restrain myself, unless you've got a suggestion for me of another song. I had another song playing before. Here's my other song. I have some eclectic music taste. Here's my other song from earlier this evening. (Singing) A little bit of Deep Purple for you to spice up your evening. The dulcet tones of Deep Purple. God, there's so many good songs here. I'm just such a song maestro. You've got to be interesting if you want people to be interested in you. It seems like an obvious fucking thing if you say it out loud, but yet nobody's freaking doing it. Here's the secret. The secret, if you would like to know the secret, the secret is you're probably not going to do it. 99.99% of you are not going to do it. That's evident, obviously, because it's fucking math. There can only be 1% within the 1% if there's the other 99.99% who don't do the damn thing. Everybody, I'm sorry. I'm not sorry, because I'd rather kick you up the ass and call you out. Everybody here on this live stream thinks that they are the 1% within the 1%. Mathematically, that is incorrect, my friends. Incorrect. Who are you? Who is the actual 1% within the 1%? No need to say it's me. No need to jump up and down about it. Say it in here, and then freaking back it up, right? If I go onto your page, if I suddenly did a recon of your Facebook page, am I going to see you shine up with your message today? I don't mean if you hustle something together in the next 24 hours, I mean if I go look now and the previous week, 24 hours, month, year, freaking lifetime, right? Of course you can change it now. We all had to change it at some point in time. I used to be incredibly boring, like boring. Maybe not really though. I certainly was compared to now. How do you change it? How do you change it? How do you change it and do it? Why are more people not using the cat stickers? Inside your little emoji box, press the sticker button and give me the cat flying. Press play. If you know you're a 1% within the 1% person, okay, I believe that there is a 1% sticker that you can actually press. There are those pink ones, exactly. You can press a press play one too. Why would you not? You should be pressing play all the time, unless it's time to press pause. That's okay. How do you do it? You're going to have to get out of your own way. It's actually the only thing for it. You're going to have to get over yourself. You're going to have to sort your shit out. You're going to have to just do a little bit of these ones and do a little bit of a pretend you're in a box. Fucking stuck in a box and you're trying to do your business in life like this. Then you just break free, you just escape, escape. I said escape, yup. What a low-class thing to say. You just escape out of the box. Meanwhile on the inside, you're probably freaking the fuck out, because you're probably like me. You're a natural introvert. It is what it is. You can believe me or not believe me. I have a little captioned video clip actually proving that I'm an introvert, which I shall use at some point in time when I feel so cold. It is true and real. You have the performer in you. You're either going to let it out or you're going to sit down and cry about not feeling ready. I don't feel ready. I do the damn thing anyway. I certainly didn't feel ready when I first started showing up like a weirdo bad ass. Not weirdo, bad ass, right? Nobody's going to believe me. Most people aren't going to believe me. If you've met me in person, you know that I'm like the biggest fucking introvert in the world, right? I'm in my performer mode. I'm activating what's inside of me. I'm letting it out, right? It's a choice. It's a choice. It's a choice of am I going to be bigger than my own bullshit? Am I going to let my message live and shine and gloriously impact the world, or am I going to be like, "But I'm scared and I don't feel like it." Those are real feelings. I'm not really making fun of you, but I'm trying to remind you that you're never going to feel ready. Of course, you're going to feel fucking self-conscious. You're going to feel like an idiot. You're going to wonder what people think about you and how bad you want ... How badly is it killing you softly and not so softly at all to not live purposely and to not step into the flow that's inside of you? I don't know about you, or I do really know all about you actually, I'm right inside your mind all the time. I do know that being like me, it just kills you to not let yourself into that performer mode. I mean, this is the shit that lights us up, isn't it? Let's be honest. This is what gets us freaking excited and high on life. We feel amazing. We just feel like we can rule the world, and we have access to extraordinary, creative powers. We just become unstoppable. You access your magic. You don't need anybody to tell you anything about anything. You know everything. That happens when you let yourself be who you really are on the inside. That's really all I have to say about anything. I don't know how long I talked for, but it felt like about a minute and a half, so I trust that I gave something of value to some person somewhere. If that was you, and you would like to work with me six weeks one-on-one, we do indeed have liftoff. Rich hot empire has begun two days ago. You can still get in. It's actually extending like six weeks plus however many fucking weeks I add on after that is always what happens. This is my most transformative one-on-one intensive ever. I've [inaudible 00:54:14] multiple times over. The results just keep getting better and better. I've been posting them all week this week. They're easy enough to find on my page. Those are examples. Obviously, you've got to do the work and bring it and back it up. If you've been wanting to work with me as your mentor, if you know you were born for it, not if you're like, "I want to make money online and I just want someone to tell me how and then I'm just going to do it and make money but I really don't believe in myself or back it up," that's not going to work. I will read that in your energy anyway if you message me, so it's just not going to happen. If you know that you are that person and you want the kick up the butt, you want to get into how I obviously do the internet and yes, the strategy of my multi-seven-figure business, you want somebody to reach into your soul and help you unleash what's in there onto the internet and indeed the world, rich hot empire is for you. Message me. Not on this page ideally, on my personal [Katrina Ruth 00:55:10] page would be best. There's a hiccup that's stuck like right up there. It doesn't want to come up. It's a Baby Ray hiccup. We'll get it out afterwards for decorum purposes. What else? What else? What else? I will send you on the message a full overview of everything that it's about, explain all the details in the module. You get unlimited one-on-one access to me, plus a structured six-week programme, lifetime access, access to my team. Insane amount of content. There's no freaking way you'd get through it all in six weeks. You get to keep it for life. What you do go through in that six weeks, you're going to create more in that six-week period than most entrepreneurs do in two years or indeed really a lifetime. That is for real. That is based. That line of six weeks' work, doing in six weeks what people do in two weeks, I started saying that line because so many clients kept saying to me, "Oh my god, I just did more in six weeks with you than I've done in the last two years or one year or whatever it was." Consistently people were saying like two years plus. Then I observed the same thing, so I started saying that line all the time. A bunch of other stuff. I will send you an overview of that. Message me about it. Do it quickly. This is set to sell out in the next 24 to 46 hours is my prediction. I believe it will sell out by Saturday my time. It is currently late Thursday. Oh my god, it's 11:44 PM. 11:44 PM Thursday night my time. You want to message me over there now, my personal page, please. Not here. It's better. I'll send you an overview, and then we'll go through cost. That's really all there is to say about that. Now, final reminder, if you want to be a leader, want to be in the spotlight, start to show up like you deserve to be in the fucking spotlight. Then the spotlight will be on you all the damn time, because you put it there. That's it. Have an amazing rest of day or evening wherever you are in the world. Leave me a comment. Leave me a love heart. Send me messages. I do come back and read my comments later, because I usually miss most of them while I'm talking. Do not forget life is now press play.

How do you align with your vision for love and call it into your life? What’s holding you back from experiencing what you want? Whether you’re single and looking, or in a relationship and wondering what’s keeping you from making it even better, today’s episode is for you. Our guest is my friend, colleague, and mentor Katherine Woodward Thomas, bestselling author of Calling in The One and the New York Times bestseller Conscious Uncoupling. In this conversation, Katherine and I will take you on an inner journey, so that you can uncover your unconscious blocks to love and magnetize yourself for attracting exactly what you want in your relationship. She’s also about to launch a new training for Calling in The One coaches, which we’ll talk about towards the end of our conversation. Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work is profoundly transformative - something that I’ve experienced personally, and I’m delighted to be able to share it with you so you can experience it for yourself. And, as always, I’m looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Along with our amazing listener supporters (you know who you are - thank you!), this week's episode is being sponsored by SimpleContacts.com. SimpleContacts.com offers an easy, convenient way to order contact lenses, carrying all major brands. They also have an online vision test that’s you can take quickly in the comfort of your own home or office, AND they are offering you $30 off your order by visiting simplecontacts.com/alive and using the code “ALIVE” at checkout! Resources: Check out Katherine Woodward Thomas's website Read Katherine Woodward Thomas’s Books - Calling in The One and Conscious Uncoupling FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE) www.neilsattin.com/kwt4 Visit to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Katherine Woodward Thomas Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. Today, we're going to have another very special visit from someone who's a friend, a colleague, a mentor, and an amazing teacher in the world around love. Neil Sattin: She's been on the show three times before to talk about making space in your life for love, overcoming your barriers for love, how to get over heartbreak, and pain, and how to transform some of the beliefs at the core of who we are, the negative beliefs that get in the way of us, experiencing love and relationship the way we want to. Her name is Katherine Woodward Thomas. If you're interested in hearing any of her other episodes with me, you can visit NeilSattin.com/KWT. That's for Katherine Woodward Thomas, and you can do KWT, KWT2, and KWT3. That will take you to all of her episodes with me. Neil Sattin: Today, we are going to hone in on her work around 'Calling in "The One". How do you find love within yourself and in the world around you? Now, this work is especially important if you're single and looking for a relationship, and wondering how to find someone who aligns with you, aligns with your values, and also aligns with having a conscious relationship. At the same time, this work ... I work a lot with couples. In fact, mostly with couples, and I'm always recommending Katherine's books to them because there's so much in Katherine's work that transforms who you are and what you're able to bring to a relationship, so even if you're in relationship, this will help maybe right the course if things aren't quite right or if things are getting stagnant, this will help inject some new life into it. Neil Sattin: This conversation is also for you. Everything we talk about will help you breathe more energy into your connections, and figure out what within you is potentially contributing to whatever it is that's going on. I think that might be enough from me. We're going to have a detailed transcript of today's episode, and to download it, all you have to do is visit NeilSattin.com/KWT4. Just keeping with the theme there, or you can always text the word 'Passion' to the number 33444, and follow the instructions. Neil Sattin: Best-selling author of 'Calling in "The One"', New York Times best-selling author of 'Conscious Uncoupling', Katherine Woodward Thomas, it's so great to have you here again on Relationship Alive. Katherine Woodward Thomas: It is a delight to be here with you again, Neil. Thank you so much for inviting me back. Neil Sattin: Always a pleasure. Great to talk to you. I wanted to start with a quote of yours actually. This is something from 'Calling in "The One"', and it's toward the end of the book, so apologies. Spoiler alert. Neil Sattin: This is what you had to say, "We have it backwards. We want to have love so that we can do loving things so that we can be loving, but the opposite is true. We need to activate an experience of expanding our hearts to feel love", in other words, being, "And then behave in loving ways, doing, so that we might draw toward us those things that create more love and fulfillment, having. Rather than have, do, be, which is how most of us are trying to create our lives, it's actually be, do, and then have." We got it reversed, and of course, that's what brings so many people into relationships that ultimately need help, right? Katherine Woodward Thomas: For sure, that we're looking outside of ourselves for that other person to make us happy. They need to change for us to be okay, absolutely. It's so automatic to who we all are that we go outside of ourselves first, and I think the radical nature of 'Calling in "The One"' is that it is from the inside out, and we are always looking to align our consciousness with that which we are wanting to create, and so we do things like take radical personal responsibility for how we're the source of our experience. We also look to clear away anything that's inconsistent within us that would get in the way of being able to have what it is that we're wanting to manifest. I mean, they're really truthfully basic laws of manifestation. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I've had a lot of people do the 'Calling in "The One"' work, and then apply it to many different areas of their lives in order to manifest what it is they're really desiring in their heart to create, and haven't been able to up until now. Neil Sattin: Yeah. That reminds me of a passage. I think it's somewhere in the middle of the book where you're talking about a relationship that you had that went wrong, and where you went away on retreat, and on retreat, had this epiphany that I think you were like hanging on for, hoping for some sort of retribution around a hurt heart. I think you had a business together with this person, and you had this vision of like, "If you're able to let go of this, then you're going to get all that's coming to you." Katherine Woodward Thomas: Actually, what I heard in that moment ... If I told you guys the story of what he did that had me so backed up and unable to forgive him in that moment, I get everybody all riled up and they wouldn't like him too because we all have our stories, and people actually do behave badly, and they do things that end up hurting us both consciously and unconsciously. Neil Sattin: Right. Katherine Woodward Thomas: What happened in that moment is that when I declared that I ... This is back in the 'Calling in "The One"' beginnings where before 'Calling in "The One"' existed as a book or a thing because it was my own process, and I had made this deep commitment to be engaged by my 42nd birthday. I was 41 at the time, and I had no prospects for a husband, but I began to ... It was only eight months away, but I began to live into that future, really into the question like, "Who would I need to be being in order for that to happen?" It wasn't so much about going out to find love. It was about going within to release any obstacles, any barriers that I had built against it, and building up certain skills and capacities that I might have been missing my whole life based on things that I never learned when I was young that most people who are in happy, healthy, secure relationships do automatically. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I was in this ... My whole focus was on my own growth and development, and one of the things I was struggling with is that I had this resentment towards a man. He was my business partner, but also, I was involved with him romantically off and on throughout the five years that we worked together, and we were both very love avoidant, and we had a lot of push/pull, and it was very dramatic, and it was very painful, and then we would always have to come to work together the next day because we had this business together. It was torture. In the end, it ended up kind of just blowing up, and I couldn't get over what he had done and some of the things that I had lost and what it had cost me. I'm on this meditation retreat with Michael Beckwith, who some people know. Katherine Woodward Thomas: He's a very well-known teacher of metaphysics, and we're in silence, and I was wrestling with the resentment because I knew that I did not want to bring that resentment into the next relationship that I created. I didn't want to punish the next person. I didn't want to be defended against the next person because of what had happened. I wanted to complete it, and so what I was wrestling with was, "How can I complete it when it devastated me so much, and it cost me, and it's so unfair?", and I heard this voice within me. We all have these images. It was my little burning bush experience. Katherine Woodward Thomas: It was like I had this image of a host of angels around me that I felt kind of transported, but I think we all have our own spiritual perspectives and how messages come to us, but I heard loud and clear inside of me that as long as I was holding on to him for restitution of the debt that was due me, then nothing could ever happen, because he wasn't about to restore that debt to me. He wasn't capable of it, and what I heard was is that it's actually blocking the Universe from giving me what my due is, and that framing, where like, "Oh yes, there is a debt due me", but he's not holding that debt anymore. The Universe itself is holding that debt, and that gave me the opportunity to let it go. The interesting thing about that, Neil is that it wasn't until I was willing to just let it go and to not have him holding his feet to the fire like he needed to be accountable, and I just had more faith in the overall goodness of life, that everything you put out that's good will come back to you tenfold just as a principle. It wasn't until I let go of him that I couldn't see my part in it clearly until I did that, and then suddenly, I started to see all sorts of ways that I had given my power away to him. Katherine Woodward Thomas: It became very clear to me why it ended up going the way that it did, that right from the very beginning, that there were ways that I was giving away my power, I didn't believe in myself, I didn't set up proper structures to take care of myself, and that was a huge lesson to me, to not give my power away to anyone ever again like that. That changed me, because with that understanding, I had access to then doing things differently in the future. Now, I wish I could say I did it perfectly and I never ever, ever gave my power away to anyone ever again, but at least I knew that how I had co-created it and that this is actually my thing to deal with, and that the amends that needed to happen was the amends I needed to make to myself, and I think that we're all a little bit like that. I think that we're so busy pointing the finger at other people that it's very hard for us to see our part, but without seeing our part, we don't know how to grow and to change in the ways that we would need to in order to have great happiness and love. Neil Sattin: Yeah. You mentioned in the book ... In fact, David Burns, and then I think you read something that he had written that, "The number one determining factor of happy, satisfied couples versus dissatisfied couples was in the dissatisfied couples, they blamed each other, and in the satisfied couples, they were focused on taking responsibility for themselves." Katherine Woodward Thomas: This is why a lot of people who were even in relationship and married, even though the 'Calling in "The One"' work is specifically for people who want to call in a great love, if they want to renew their relationship, they'll come do the work because these are very core foundational teachings about how to have our relationships flourish and thrive. Neil Sattin: I want to just mention quickly the book, 'Calling in "The One"'. The subtitle is, '7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life'. One thing that I think is so great about the book is that it is broken down into seven weeks with a lesson per day, where you read a little bit, you do a little work. It's not like this monumental thing that you have to take on. You can just one chunk at a time work your way through, and in the process, discover all these things about yourself, transform all these aspects of yourself, and it's all work that you're doing within by just going through the book, so I just appreciate how well you lay that out and made your work very accessible for people going through it. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Thank you, Neil. I mean, I'd really like to backtrack and even share about how that got created if you don't mind. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Sure, and then I have a good juicy question for you, but go ahead. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Okay. Would you want to give me the juicy question and I'll leave in the answer? Neil Sattin: Okay, juicy question. You were talking about the ways that we contribute to the situations that we're in, the ways that we give away our power, and yet, it can be so hard to see ourselves to really get an objective view of how we're doing those things, so I'm wondering if you have some insight on how to get that perspective on the things that we do that are the way that we're contributing to how our life unfolds in ways we might not want. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I think that's a fabulous question. You're right. It's very juicy. The short answer, and then it does kind of lead into my story here, but the short answer is that I think the way that we're trying to figure out how we're giving away our power contributing is by analyzing ourselves. Neil Sattin: Great. Katherine Woodward Thomas: We're going back into the past, and we're ruminating over what happened and what the story of that missing development is, and we're getting a little stuck in the quicksand of understanding and insight, and we're too far away from having a breakthrough or an actual shift in a relationship - that happens when you really do understand yourself as the source of something. First of all, it begins with the willingness to just say, "Okay. How am I contributing to this dynamic? What are the ways that I'm showing up that are giving someone permission to treat me badly? Is there a way I'm treating myself badly? Am I enrolling them into an old story covertly outside of my own conscious awareness?" Katherine Woodward Thomas: "Who am I being in relationship with this person?", so the willingness to just even explore and begin to ask that question is what I think is a radical practice. I say radical practice because we are so programmed to project blame onto the externals, and we so think that other people are just the way they are. They're just fixed and they're never changing, and there are subtle ways that we are contributing to every single dynamic that's troublesome for us. It can be as simple as we pull our energy in, and we start to hide, we disappear ourselves when somebody disappoints us, or we don't ask the questions that would lead to clarity or set our boundaries. We fail to set boundaries because we're lacking the courage to disappoint someone or risk having someone be angry with us. We have to look at those and confront those ways of being straight on, and ask ourselves of course, "What's motivating that behavior?" Katherine Woodward Thomas: This whole approach from the inside out ... Excuse me. I have a little tickle in my throat here, but this whole approach to the inside out is actually the core of the 'Calling in "The One"' work, and I love to share the story about how it all began because I was always a person who struggled tremendously in relationship. I had a pattern of unavailable people. I would always get involved in triangles, like people had other people in their lives, they were married, they had some incomplete relationship somewhere where they were tied up somewhere else, or it could have been workaholism or alcoholism, or just one impossible love after another was what made up the bulk of my love life for most of my 20's and 30's, and there was consequently either a lot of drama, a lot of pain, and a lot of resignation and disappointment for me. I felt confused about that. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I'm a very spiritual person. I had done years of inner work on myself. I was in therapy by the time I was in my mid-20's, and then I was in 12-step programs for years, and then I did all sorts of transformational work, and eventually, I became a therapist, and I still was helping people to have great love lives and had learned a lot of things intellectually, but I was still struggling. I would come home every night to an empty apartment with my little kitty cat, Clover, and I was just kind of heartbroken about it actually because I always wanted to have a family. It wasn't until I was in my early 40's that I started to learn about the power of setting intentions, and I began to learn about the metaphysics of generating a future that's unpredictable or unprecedented, which means that you're able to break lifelong patterns and lean into a particular possibility that was never going to happen unless you began to declare that future as your own and lean into that future and claim that future, and then, live backwards from that future. Katherine Woodward Thomas: What I mean by that is you begin to ask yourself the question, like, "Who would I need to be?", "What would I need to let go of?", "What would I need to begin to cultivate?", "How might I prepare myself?", so you become very interested in the inner transformation. I think Dr. Joe Dispenza has a quote, which I'm probably going to butcher right now just off the top of my head, but he says ... I think it's something like, "You can't create a new future with the feelings of the past", and most of us are walking around filled with the emotional set-point of the past. We have tendencies towards depression, or our bodies are a little hiked up from the traumas we suffered long ago, so we go easily into a certain anxiety state or really, the kind of residue from the core consciousness that we formed in response to the wounds of the past, "My father left", or, "My mother worked full-time and neglected me", or whatever that situation, or, "My big sister picked on me", or, "My big brother abused me", or, "I was always left out. I was the one ..." Katherine Woodward Thomas: I mean, we all have these variations of the theme, but there's a core consciousness that was formed in response to what happened, and it was a story that we crafted about ourselves, and that story has an emotional center, "I am alone", "I am not wanted", "I am unsafe", and that tends to be our default center when we get disappointed, or frightened, or overwhelmed, we'll wake up to it in the morning. It becomes kind of that unwanted companion in our bodies that resonates in our body. That's what Joe is talking about when he says, "You can't create a new future with the feelings of the past", so when I talk about creating the future, you declare. You make a declaration like I did, "I'm going to be engaged by my 42nd birthday", and then, I needed to become the self of my future, and that was a very full process. "Who would I be being?" Katherine Woodward Thomas: "How would I be showing up? How would I be feeling?" It goes back to the quote you were saying before. "What does it feel like to have love that is sane, that is stable, that is kind, that is secure, that is inspiring?" Like, "Who am I in that love, and what is inconsistent in my life right now that I need to release that doesn't match that version of me?", so is this process of transforming from the inside out. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I set this intention. I was scared to do it. I had a bunch of friends who were setting intentions for themselves too and we were tapping into the collective field, which is really now being documented by Lynne McTaggart. She came out with a book recently, 'The Power Of 8'. 'The Power Of 8' is all about this collective field that when we share our intentions with each other, we hold those intentions. Katherine Woodward Thomas: We hold each other accountable even to living inside of those intentions, that it expedites the process of transformation and manifestation. I didn't know that at the time. I didn't know the science, but I did have a group of friends, and we were doing it together, and I began my day, every morning with just asking, "What would I need to give up. Who would I need to be being?", and feeling into that, and imagining that future as though it were happening right now. This is the other answer to your juicy question. Katherine Woodward Thomas: When you ask life these questions, like, "What would I need to give up?", or, "What would I need to grow within me in order to have the fulfillment of my desires?", my experience is, is that you get pretty hit over the head with the answer, that you will suddenly start to see things or hear things, or people will say things, or chance meetings. You will just get all the information that you need, and so I started to follow the gum drops in the forest, and I saw a ton of things that I needed to let go of. Rather than run out to try and find love, I actually went within to look at all of the barriers that I built against it and to also begin to lean into that future on an emotional level, and to become the person that I would need to be. That was where my focus was. I barely had time to date actually, which is really funny because I was pretty consumed. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I don't mean to keep talking. I have so much to say. Sometimes I'm like you wind me up. I want to get to the story, but I just want to take a breath to see if there's anything you want to say. Neil Sattin: Wow. Thanks, and I've been enjoying. You're on fire, so that's great. One question that popped into my head, just something that I love as an addendum to the questions you were mentioning is, "What would I need to be willing to experience if I were going to live into that future?", so as a way of uncovering maybe those blocks of, "Oh, right. I'd have to be willing to, let's say confront my fear that someone won't actually love me the way I am", or any number of things like that. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I think there is. There's a turning toward the obstacle. There is an engagement, like an inner dialogue. An example of that is that once I ask these questions, I started to get answers, and one of the things that I saw when I said, "Okay. It feels like it's just happening to me, all these unavailable people." Consciously, I really want relationship. Katherine Woodward Thomas: "How might I be the source of my experience that all these unavailable people keep showing up?", and of course, leading them to the question, "How am I unavailable outside of conscious awareness?" One of the things that I remembered when I was sitting there on this, almost like, not like a mental memory, but a somatic memory when we get flooded with a certain emotion, and I remembered being 10 when my father, who I loved with all my heart, he'd been divorced from my mother for many years, and they've had a lot of tension, so there was like a background to why he chose to do this, but he basically gave up parental rights to my mother without saying goodbye, and I just found out because my mother reported it to me, and then left the room. Neil Sattin: Wow. Katherine Woodward Thomas: It was so devastating. It was such a defining moment for me, and I think outside of conscious awareness in that moment, I made a decision that no one was ever going to hurt me like that again, and so what I realized in that moment is that for all these years, what I had been doing is creating drama and substituting it for love, just so that I could be saved, and then I wouldn't really have to surrender to someone. When I understood that it was kind of a very primitive way of trying to protect myself, I remember that I'm an adult now, and that I have other tools to protect myself, but I got to ask myself the question, "Katherine, sweetheart, is it really worth love to you to keep this wall up?" Of course, the answer was no, and so I was able to have a dialogue with myself where I said, "You know, I think that there is a risk to loving someone, even if you love the safest person. They could pass away." Katherine Woodward Thomas: We don't get that kind of guarantee in this lifetime, and I think that we're strong enough, and wise enough, and we have enough resources that we could handle that, and so I was able to renegotiate that within myself where I became consistently, all parts of me became available to love. This was the kind of thing I discovered like the resentments thing that I shared about my former business partner, clearing that, or the agreements that we've made with ourselves. That was really an agreement I've made with myself. Sometimes we make agreements with God. One woman I know was keeping her marital vows because she got married in a Catholic church, and she was Catholic. Katherine Woodward Thomas: She'd been divorced for 10 years. Her former husband was already married with children from within another relationship, and she hadn't had a date in 10 years, and she couldn't figure out why, and we were able to track it back to -  She made this promise to God that she would only love this one man, so when you make these things conscious, then you get to say, "Oh, wow. That makes so much sense. Can I talk to God and see if I can renegotiate that agreement?" Katherine Woodward Thomas: "God, can you come over for tea? I need to tell you something." Neil Sattin: Right. Right, because it's not a matter of just realizing those things, and then just abruptly being like, "That's silly. I'm not going to do that." I don't think it works that way, that there is this process of allowing you to shift, but also to maintain your integrity. That's so important. Katherine Woodward Thomas: It's so true what you're saying, Neil, and I think we have to take the time once we name something to renegotiate it and rethink it, and not just leave those tender parts of us behind, because the part of her that made that vow was so sincere, and so trusting, and so believed in that promise. The part of me when I was 10, I was so tender and so vulnerable, so it's not like we just dismiss it as stupid. We want to go back and pick those parts of us up, and say, "Sweetheart, I understand why you did that, but it's not really kind anymore, and it's not really appropriate, and this is what we're going to do now instead, but I've got you. I'm holding you, and I've got you." There were other things ... Katherine Woodward Thomas: Also, another thing ... Gosh, there's all sorts of things I discovered on that meditation cushion too, Neil. I've discovered another thing that I call 'Toxic tie beliefs', when you're in relationship with people that is kind of based on a dynamic of you giving your power away in order for you to stay bonded to that person. A lot of us have these kind of toxic relational dynamics with people who matter to us - it's our father, or our mother, or our sister, or our boss, or somebody that we can't just discard, or even a friend that we've had for decades, so it's the ability to take back your power and be more authentic in the connection. There are a lot of examples of that, but just a simple one that shows us how much we can all do this is the woman who realized that she was very close to her mother and her grandmother, but the kind of the glue that held them all together was their disdain for men, and they'd always ... Her mother and her grandmother had married alcoholic, weaker men, and so they have this kind of matriarchal club. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Of course, she was in the club, but when she was doing 'Calling in "The One"', she realized, "Wow. I can't be in that dynamic anymore. I have to shift that. That's really toxic because if I'm in that club, and that's my way of belonging to my mother and my grandmother, then what does that say about the men that I'm going to be able to call in?" Neil Sattin: Right. That would be the calling in the wrong one, of course. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Yeah. Exactly, which we've all done too many times. Neil Sattin: Right. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Yeah. Go ahead. Neil Sattin: Yeah. I'm curious because a thread that seems to bind a lot of these things together is something you said early on, this faith in the goodness of life, and it's something that I see a lot that holds people back from taking risks that you might need to take, whether it's going out on a Friday night or whether it's leaving a relationship that should have been left a long time ago, or there are any number of ways that we avoid taking risks because maybe we're not anchored in the faith of the goodness of life, of things turning out well. If you're looking with a negative filter, I think that's something that David Burns talks about. It's like if you look through a negative filter, then you can find all kinds of reasons why it's not true, but I'm wondering if you can talk about the process of someone finding that within themselves to anchor themselves in that place of, "You know what? I can take this risk." Neil Sattin: "This is going to work out one way or another. I have faith that it will." Katherine Woodward Thomas: I think we have to expand our perspective on what it is to work out. I love David Burns, and I think that that quote that you're talking about, if you're looking through a negative filter really is important, and I have something to add to it, which is that it's not just the negative filter. Neil Sattin: Great. Katherine Woodward Thomas: It's missing development. We're actually ... The simplest way to say it is to say, "is it safe to cross the street?" If you don't know how to look left or right, no, it's not safe to cross the street, but if you know how to look left and right, then yes, it's safe to cross the street, so the same for relationship. If you don't know how to say no, if you don't know how to repair breakdowns, repair rifts and breakdowns, if you don't know how to hold on to your autonomy, if you don't know how to self-sooth, if you don't know how to take personal responsibility, if you don't know how to generate intimacy, all of these things, then is it safe to be in relationship? Katherine Woodward Thomas: Maybe not. That's where we get into a lot of pain - full of toxic patterns. One of the things that I was doing also was I was looking at, "What didn't I learn when I was young that I would now need to learn in order to have successful, healthy relationships?" It really goes hand in hand. We're not just clearing away the old baggage, but we're also needing to begin to develop certain things, skills and capacities that we didn't develop maybe because it wasn't taught to us or modeled for us in our home, but also, I think that when we came to certain conclusions when we were quite young, for example, the conclusion, "I will always be alone, and no one will ever be there for me", so from that place, we might not really have learned the skills of collaboration or the skills of conflict resolution because maybe we just assume that once there's a conflict, that's kind of the beginning of the end, and at that point, you just start to withdraw your energies, a self-protective move so that you can minimize the hurt that you might feel if someone rejects you. Katherine Woodward Thomas: There's the limitations of that missing development - what's really creating a feeling that we can't trust life. When you say, "I have faith in the overall goodness of life, and I'm going to go out on a Friday night", basically, there's the faith that, "Wow. Something really lovely could happen. I could make a really nice connection, and if not, I'm going to trust that even if I don't make a nice connection or I have an interaction that doesn't tend to be fulfilling for me, then that's going to be an opportunity for me to learn something about myself that's inside of this journey of 'Calling in "The One"'." I mean, basically, what we're doing with 'Calling in "The One"' and when we talk about living from the future backwards is we're inviting all of us to begin to organize everything, every choice, every action, every interpretation we make of what's going on according to that future, so that there's no mistakes that can be made, and you can pretty much count on that you're going to get disappointed, because in fact, Joseph Campbell said, "Destruction before creation." Katherine Woodward Thomas: If you actually set an intention to create something that you've never been able to manifest before, what is probably likely is the destruction of what currently exists, so you will have lessons, and you will have some losses, but they're not necessarily a bad thing. Some people come in and do the 'Calling in "The One"' process, and suddenly, within a matter of a week or two, they're at odds with people that they've been in relationship with for years because they suddenly see, "Oh, that the terms of this dynamic is that I have to keep giving my power away, or that it's all about the other person, or that I have to be a doormat, and that doesn't work for me anymore", so everything starts to get repositioned in your life. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All of those patterns are so entrenched, and until you fully transcend that dynamic, nothing changes, and then once you transcend, I think everything can change like dramatically sometimes. Yeah. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Yeah. Neil Sattin: I'm wondering, yeah, if we can ... I want to ask you just like kind of a silly question, and this is actually ... I mean, it's really not all that silly, but one of the questions I get asked the most by people who are single is, "Where do I meet people, or how do I find the person?" What are your thoughts on that question of like literally where? Do you think it matters whether someone's doing online dating versus going out into the world and doing things that align with their values as far as like how they actually meet people, and what do you think about that dynamic of seeking versus calling someone in? Katherine Woodward Thomas: I think again ... Gosh, you just ask the best questions. I love being interviewed by you. Okay. Let me answer. There's two ways to answer that. Neil Sattin: Great. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I'm sure there's probably 28 ways to answer it, but I can think of two. I want to answer from a 'Calling in "The One"' perspective, and then I'll add to it. What happened for me was as I was doing this, within a matter of weeks, a friend invited me to, or who was encouraging me, told me to get on a dating site. Now, that sounds normal to us, but this is 18 years ago, so there were no dating sites back then, but there was ... There was one. Katherine Woodward Thomas: It was I think one of the first ones. It doesn't exist anymore. I was a little horrified at the idea because I thought it was so pathetic to have to not just be meeting someone in a supermarket down the aisle while picking out your cantaloupes, but I did it because I was coachable, and there were a quarter of a million people on the site, and I figured out the technology of how to put in all my stats and stuff, and it narrowed it down to I think from like 80 people, which is funny. It tells you how old it was because that was L.A., like 80 people meet my demographics in L.A., but I think there were other things too like my age group, or not smoker or whatever I'd put in there. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I'm reading through these profiles. No pictures. No pictures. No pictures because we didn't have the technology back then, believe it or not, so no pictures and just these handles like "two hearts beating as one" love handles and such, and one person just leaped off the page to me, and I just wrote a short, little email to him, said why I liked his profile, and then my computer froze, so I couldn't look at anybody else and I turned it off. I went to bed, and the next day when I woke up, I went to check my emails. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Back then, the technology was that if they want to write you back, it went right into your email, like it was you went email to email immediately, and so when I got his email, and his name was in parenthesis because that was another quirky, technical thing there back then, is that it actually had his name in parenthesis next to his email address, and it was a man that I had dated six years earlier who I had for years thought of as the one that got away, and that we went out and we ended up being engaged two months later, which was before my 42nd birthday, and we were married the next year, and then had our daughter. Neil Sattin: Funny. Katherine Woodward Thomas: To me, that was a miracle. That was the Red Sea parting really. I would have believed the Red Sea could part sooner than I would believe that I could find that wonderful man. That was actually why I created the 'Calling in "The One"' process because I thought, "Wow. What did I just do that created such magic?" Katherine Woodward Thomas: I do think that when ... The first part answer to your question like, "Where do we go to meet somebody?", is I think that when you're ready, that the Red Sea will part. When you're really ready and you're standing in that magnetic energy, the Red Sea will part, and if you're not ready, you can go to all the right places, and it might not work out, or if it does, it will just do it for a short period of time because you'll end up sabotaging it. The focus of 'Calling in "The One"' of course is on the consciousness of that, however, I also as a person, have ideas about where to go to meet just because we live in such a global community, and I think more than ever, we have the opportunity to go to join communities and to attend events that really are reflective of our true core values. I think all the dating stuff is good. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I'm ambivalent about it like everybody else because of the fraud issues, and also because the manners of people seem to be really missing, and it seems to be that people have really largely ... We are culturally objectifying each other as opposed to relating to each other, so it's painful and it's wounding, but if you can not take it personally and you can understand that you're walking into a bit of a hornet's nest, there is definitely gold in there because there are people who are genuinely looking for connection and commitment, so I'm not going to pooh-pooh it, but I know that it's not for the faint of heart, and my number ... I was going to say my number one rule is don't take it personally, but my number two rule is be kind, please to people and don't take advantage of people, and try and be respectful and thoughtful, and remember that these are real human beings when you're on there, but I do think that it's about getting involved in things that you most deeply care about. I think that's the best bet truthfully is, because when we're looking at what really ... We've gone from role mate relationship to soulmate relationship. Katherine Woodward Thomas: When we are looking at what it is that we are looking for in a soulmate, we're looking for someone whose mission is aligned with our own, and who sees the world in a similar way, a similar enough way that we can get up underneath them and trust their support of us, and then also be challenged by them because maybe they see things a little bit differently and challenge us to grow, but the fundamental core values and what you're called to in life are similar enough that you can join forces. That's going to be a more specialized community, and there's a lot of things virtually where people are doing things virtually and creating virtual communities, but there's also a lot of conferences or a lot of events that are happening with people who share our similar interest, and I think that those are the best bets for meeting people. Neil Sattin: Yeah. In general, I think if you are literally in-person with someone, there's just so much more information available to you about how you connect with that person, that you're not going to get any other way when it really comes down to it. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I don't remember how you met Chloe. How did you meet Chloe? Neil Sattin: Chloe and I met in a dance class that I had been going to for maybe about six months, and she had just moved to Maine from the West Coast, and she showed up to ... It was like maybe her first week even in Portland where we were at the time. She walked into this class, and we were paired together for an exercise. Totally out of our own control, and then from there, yeah, we just connected, and that led to everything that happened after, which listeners and you as well, Katherine have heard a lot about. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Wow. Neil Sattin: Yeah, but it was being out there doing what we love. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's exactly what I was saying. It doesn't have to be like you're going to travel to another city to do a conference. You just start taking dance in your community. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Get out to a class and do what you love. That's great. Neil Sattin: Yeah. For some reason, this word popped into my head. I'm not sure exactly what the question is here, but the word is 'Settled'. Something like, is that a lot of people like they're out, and they have like this clear vision of who they want or what kind of relationship they want, and maybe they've even done some of the work from 'Calling in "The One""', and then there's this like, "This person seems so great, and yet, blah, blah, blah." They have their hesitations, and then there's this question of, "Do I settle for this or do I keep going? Do I keep looking?" Katherine Woodward Thomas: Yeah. It's more and more an issue in our online dating culture because there's so many choices, and I think ... I'm trying to remember the guy's last name who wrote the 'Modern Romance' book, and this is what's his main point was, where he was ... He did this kind of ... I don't think it was a scientific experiment, but he started interviewing people in retirement homes about they met their mate, and they basically, most of them said, "Oh, she lived next door", or, "She lived down the street." They basically had four people to choose from in their community, and they were happy. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Katherine Woodward Thomas: That was what life gave them, and they made it work, and they were happy, and so we live in a really different world. I think the more that we understand ourselves, and the more that we know what's really most important to us, the more that we will be able to choose wisely and recognize the things that matter most when we meet someone. I think that few of us like the word 'Settled' or few of us like the word 'Compromise', but I think that there is the reality that we're all a little quirky, and we're all a little imperfect and a little crazy, and in our own beautiful ways, and even not so beautiful ways, but if you know yourself, you're not looking for perfection from someone else because you know you're not perfect, and we're looking for a certain quality to the connection. The more we can prepare for that internally and start to ask ourselves questions ... Like one of the questions in the meditations that I offer people are ... Katherine Woodward Thomas: It's a desiring meditation. It's just asking yourself, "What do I want to be experiencing in this connection?", so we're getting away from that checklist like needs a college degree, or needs to earn this much money, or needs to be working out three days a week. We've got this checklist, but you can have somebody who matches all this checklist and have a miserable connection with that person. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I like to start with, "What are you experiencing?" "I feel at home with this person, and I feel really heard, and I feel safe, and I feel inspired, and I feel like I can trust them, and I feel like just this deep sense of happiness, and I feel held, and I feel like someone has my back." You want to start with that, like, "What are the emotional components? What are you actually experiencing?" Then, when you find somebody who makes you feel that way, you already have been cultivating that within yourself so you know that more. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I think we have to drop out of our minds a little bit. I think our minds are a little bit too busy with our checklists, and what we think we want to be happy, but I think it's more about being in our bodies and recognizing that what we're looking for really is a certain quality to the field of the connection, and in order to keep that quality healthy, it requires us to grow in certain ways so that we can weed our gardens on a pretty regular basis, which I think you're helping people do a lot too, Neil. Neil Sattin: That's definitely a huge part of it, and I'm glad you used that word 'Growth'. It made me wonder about how you identify in another person whether they are along for the ride with you in terms of that capacity to grow and shift, and knowing that that's just going to be required when you're in relationship. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I have learned over the years that people do not accurately self-report. Neil Sattin: Present company excluded, right? Katherine Woodward Thomas: Present, yes. You and I are completely not in that category, that people will describe themselves as this and that, this and that, so you don't actually ... No. Do not take people at face value. I don't think that most of us are meaning to deceive other people about who we are. Katherine Woodward Thomas: I think it's a lack of self-understanding, so what I'm looking for is kind of early on in the relationship to see how somebody is able to reflect on why their past relationships have been troubled in some way. What happened in that dynamic and how they themselves were responsible? If you have somebody who's only blaming the other person, and when you ask them what was going on for them, if they tell you things that are, "I was going through a tough time at work", that are just kind of circumstantial or situational, or, "I just believe in the best in people, so I just thought it would work out", but it doesn't have a lot of depth to it, it doesn't really bode for deep self-reflection, then you can better assess where this person is on their journey and adjust your expectations and investment accordingly. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Yeah, but that said, then the later stages ... I mean, you have to just see what people do and how they solve their own problems, and if they're growth-oriented and they're thinking, if they take personal responsibility for things. I think there is a process of getting to know people that's really important, but sometimes, we want to know the one in the first date or two, but I'm kind of a little old-fashioned in my own sensibilities about it. I think it's better to not sleep together quickly. I mean, you definitely want to know if there's sexual compatibility and chemistry, but it also begins to cloud your perception, so I'm along the lines of get more information before you introduce sexuality into the equation. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah, once the dopamine and oxytocin are flowing, your judgment is totally impaired. Yeah. Katherine Woodward Thomas: All bets are off. Yeah. Neil Sattin: Katherine, we could talk for hours obviously, and I want to ensure because this work that you're doing, you also train people to help others call in the one. You train people as Calling in "The One" coaches, and I think you have another training that's coming up really soon, so I wanted to give you a chance to talk about what that process is like if someone's interested in going through something like that to help other people find love. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Yes. It's actually one of my favorite things to do, is to train and certify relationship coaches, and whether or not people have been therapists. We have therapists, we have psychologists, we have social workers, but we also have what I call 'Lay people', people who come from other professions who've always just been that person that others feel comfortable telling their troubles to. The Calling in "The One" Coach Training was born really because the book came out in 2004. It's growing. Katherine Woodward Thomas: We're just launching it now in China. There's a whole group of folks in U.K.. There's a growing group of coaches in Australia, and it continues to be a demand in United States and Canada, but also some other countries. I think Mexico, Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico is part of America, but ... Katherine Woodward Thomas: Anyway, but the work is growing leaps and bounds. Finland, and ... Where is it? Also Estonia. We have a coach in Estonia now. Neil Sattin: Wow. Katherine Woodward Thomas: People are bringing the work to different parts of the world, and I do that because I see people as my partners in sharing this work with other people. The 'Calling in "The One"' work is life-saving for many people. It will melt away decades of painful patterns and help them to create a miracle in their love lives that they never thought would be possible for them. I have seen countless stories of people who felt hopeless be able to really awaken to their power to create this miracle of love. I train people to have professional careers as a Calling in "The One" coach, and there's a lot of things that people do with it. Katherine Woodward Thomas: One person has a radio show now, one of my coaches. People write blogs and get articles written about them. They do their own interviews on podcasts, and they do groups in their communities, and of course, they do the one-on-one coaching, so it's pretty special. I only do a training every two years, and it's very hands-on. I am there with people. Katherine Woodward Thomas: My senior mentor coaches are there with people. We really take them to the process. It's a really joyful training. Actually, it lasts about six months, and then in six months, people can start earning their living as a coach. People can find out about that and read more about it if they just go to my website, Neil, and I have information there for them. Neil Sattin: Great. Your website of course is Katherinewoodwardthomas.com, and we will have a link to that in the show notes in the transcript. If you go there and you're not interested in the coach training, you can also sign up for ... Basically, Katherine has been sending out daily inspirations with ... As you can tell, she's got a lot to offer, so it's a great way for you to keep in touch with her, and her teachings, and other courses that she has that are coming out. Neil Sattin: Before we drop the topic of the coach training entirely, I just want a chance to say some of you know that I've been through Katherine's Conscious Uncoupling Coach Training, and my experience of you, Katherine as a teacher was that you're just so present, so giving, and you have such integrity in what you offer and how you train people. I mean, that's why it's a six-month-long course that you're talking about. It's because you have just such a high commitment to the people that you're training, and my experience of that, it was so powerful. There are very few teachers I've worked with that have that level of dedication to the process of training others. On top of that, the work is so profoundly transformative for ... Neil Sattin: It was for me as a coach, and I think that's another huge benefit of working with you, going through these trainings is that you get the personal experience of going through this process and having Katherine and her other amazing coaches. She has really great people gathered around her who are also helping you get the benefit of their experience to guide you through the process not of just becoming a coach, but going through the work yourself. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Yeah. That's right. Thank you. We have weekly support calls for people who are processing the material on a personal level. Thank you for that reminder. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Thank you for what you said. That really touches my heart. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Yeah. It's one of the most powerful experiences I've gone through, was to go through that Conscious Uncoupling training programs. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Wow. Neil Sattin: Yeah. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Thanks, Neil. That's great to hear. Neil Sattin: Katherine, it is always a pleasure to have you here. I hope we can have another conversation for the podcast someday soon. In the meantime, you know that if you want to find out more about Katherine's work, visit Katherinewoodwardthomas.com. We'll have a transcript available for you to download if you go to Neilsattin.com/KWT4 or text the word 'Passion' to the number 33444 and follow the instructions. Katherine, I'm wondering if there's anything in closing that you, like if you just drop in for everyone listening, is there anything that comes up for you like, "Oh, this is the thing that needs to be said in this moment"? Katherine Woodward Thomas: I think we've had such a rich conversation, and I just want to leave people with a sense of possibility, that this has been an area that you have struggled in, and if there's any way that you kind of dim down your hopes or just given up even entirely on the possibility of love for you, I would hope with all my heart that you come and find us because we can tell you countless miracles of deep happiness and love after painful patterns in the past, and you can really graduate from them. Your past does not determine your future in happiness and love. You do in this very moment. Neil Sattin: I love that. Yeah. Just like past results in the stock market are not indicative of future earnings, past results in your relationships are not. You really do have that potential to grow, and change, and graduate to a new level of relationship. Katherine, thank you so much for joining us today. It's always great to have you here. Katherine Woodward Thomas: Thank you, Neil. It's a joy to be with you. Resources: Check out Katherine Woodward Thomas's website Read Katherine Woodward Thomas’s Books - Calling in The One and Conscious Uncoupling FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Relationship (ALSO FREE) www.neilsattin.com/kwt4 Visit to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Katherine Woodward Thomas Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out

Today Chantel and Chris are joined by Jay Campbell, a Champion Men’s Physique Competitor and the best selling author of The Definitive Testosterone Replacement Therapy MANual, and most recently, The Metabolic Blowtorch Diet! Jay has experience working with thousands of men and women in optimizing their nutrition, exercise, fitness and fat loss. He also does intermittent fasting! Listen as the three of them answer your questions on fasting, fat loss, and more!  Get Jay's book for free! http://metabolicblowtorchdiet.com/ or email jay@trtrevolution.com to get a free pdf of the book. Mention Chantel Ray Way! To learn more about the principles of intermittent fasting, purchase Chantel's book, Waist Away: The Chantel Ray Way NOW by visiting http://amzn.to/2CVmTgs Like us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/TheChantelRayWay     Chris in action: https://chantelrayway.com/chrissykes  Things we love: https://chantelrayway.com/things-i-love-2/   Facebook group:https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheChantelRayWay   Timecodes 3:05 I'm concerned with losing all of my muscle if I fast...I work out a lot!  9:38 I've been eating healthy and exercising but I'm freaking out. Is there anything I can do to get the woosh effect? Also can I drink Le Croix sparking waters during fasting?  18:50 What should my calorie goal be? Am I getting enough calories?  24:06 Does my daily morning meds and fish oil knock me out of a fat burning mode?  28:32 How long have you and Chris been doing IF? What are your favorite benefits of doing it long term? Is it sustainable for years?   33:33 Sometimes I'm ravaged which leads me to overeat! Any tips to help with this?  39:47 Are the thin eaters that you interviewed doing intermittent fasting or small meals throughout the day?    Purchase Chantel's book, Waist Away: The Chantel Ray Way NOW by visiting http://amzn.to/2CVmTgs

  Thirteen years ago, when Augie Nieto learned he had the progressive neuromuscular disease ALS, he and his wife Lynne were told to put his affairs in order. Most people live only two to five years after diagnosis, as their brains lose touch with their bodies and their muscles atrophy. But Augie—who founded exercise equipment company Life Fitness in 1977—wasn’t one to simply accept his fate. First, as Lynne explains on this week’s episode of #WeGotGoals, the couple “tried to find somebody that would tell us we didn’t have ALS,” she says. “We traveled the country to the ALS specialists all over and unfortunately got the same answer six more times.” Once reality set in, Augie was devastated. Lynne became his caregiver, a role that nearly overwhelmed her. But eventually, it became clear Augie just might beat the grim statistics. Over time, Augie and Lynne found balance and a new purpose: Curing the disease that threatened to kill him. Because ALS affects the muscles in his mouth and diaphragm, Augie can no longer speak. He breathes with a ventilator and communicates with assistive technology he controls with his feet. Still, Lynne says, he works as hard as ever. Together, Augie and Lynne co-founded Augie’s Quest, a non-profit that has raised more than $62 million. That money—and millions more—has gone to fund research at the ALS Therapy Development Institute, where Augie’s chair of the board. These efforts are beginning to pay off. Already, the institute has a drug nearing phase 1 clinical trials, and two more promising compounds in the pipeline. Considering that there are currently only two FDA-approved treatments for ALS, that’s quite a feat. “What we’ve really shown here is that ALS is not an incurable disease—it’s just underfunded,” Lynne says. Working together “in lockstep” toward these goals has—incredibly—deepened the Nietos’ partnership to the point that Lynne says their marriage is stronger than ever. Raising their four children, and showing them the true meaning of “for better or for worse,” ranks as Lynne’s proudest accomplishment. “Before ALS, I think you had two of the most independent people on the face of the planet that probably in our heads thought we didn’t need each other that much. And that’s not always a great way to go about a relationship,” she says. Now that they’ve had to slow down and be more thoughtful in their communications, “I think we’re better people.” Lynne has also learned to step into the spotlight, speaking in public and to the media. The self-professed introvert admits it’s still a struggle. “I am not comfortable, but I have learned to be in discomfort and just lean into the discomfort,” she says. “I know that if Augie could, he would be the spokesperson. But now I feel that sense of responsibility to being his voice.” On Augie’s urging, the Nietos welcomed a documentary crew into their lives. Initially, Lynne resisted the idea. During filming, which proceeded on and off for a year, the lights and boom mics in their bedroom were certainly intrusive. Now that the crews have left and she’s watched the resulting film, AUGIE, many times over, Lynne says she’s glad they did it. “My deal with Augie was that I would agree to go through with doing the documentary, but we weren’t going to sugarcoat our lives; we were going to share the bad as well as the good. And that was very cathartic in many ways,” she says. And she’s proud of the end product: “I feel like now we have something that can shed some light on ALS, on trying to find treatments and a cure, on others living with the disease and how we really can make a difference.” Hear more of their incredible story on this week’s episode—and beginning March 20, watch AUGIE on Netflix and Amazon. You’ll hear Lynne mention more ways to get involved, including joining Team Quest for ALS and raising money while running a 5K, 10K, or half-marathon. You can also contribute just by working out at OrangeTheory Fitness from now through March 8, including a special 90-minute Augiethon at all Chicago and suburban locations on March 3. Listen to this week’s episode, produced by Cindy Kuzma and presented by Chicago Sport and Social Club, reminding you that summer is just around the corner. Get into a summer volleyball league now and use code "GOALS" to get 5 percent off until March 15.   And if you like what you hear, subscribe where ever you get your podcasts and leave us a rating or a review on Apple Podcasts.   --- JAC:Welcome to #WeGotGoals, a podcast by aSweatLife.com on which we talk to high achievers about their goals. I'm Jeana Anderson Cohen; with me, I have Cindy Kuzma and Maggie Umberger. CK: Good morning, Jeana. MU: Good morning, Jeana. JAC: Good morning. Cindy, you talked with Lynne Nieto. CK:I did. I spoke with Lynne Nieto, who is the wife of Augie Nieto and also an incredibly accomplished person in her own right. She is, of course, many more titles than just wife, but her story is remarkable because Augie is the founder of Life Fitness, a manufacturer of fitness equipment that's based near here in Chicago. He was diagnosed with ALS 13 years ago and the journey that they've been on together since then has been really incredible and I'm so grateful to her for sharing with us. MU: So the Nietos are doing a lot for ALS research and more than just fundraising, right? CK: That's right. I mean they have raised a ton of money, like more than a hundred million dollars, so they've done that, but they've gone farther. Augie has really brought his entrepreneurial spirit to trying to find a cure for this disease. So they have built a research institute called the ALS Therapy Development Institute that is set up to streamline the process of finding a cure and they already have one drug that's in clinical trials. It's really exciting what they've been able to do. JAC:It's interesting to speak with someone who's going through something like this because as a partner of someone who has a disease or who sort of has their freedom taken away, their movement taken away by a disease, it's easy to lose hope. Did you get a sense from her that she has that sort of positivity and hope that's carrying her through? CK:I certainly did, but it was really interesting to talk with her about how she got to that place. It was definitely an evolution for both of them. It's a heart wrenching story to hear her talk about how they both reacted to the diagnosis. Augie took it very hard and she kind of went into fix it mode and was just like, how do we fix the house to make us able to stay here? How do we fix our finances? And she became his caregiver for a long time too and was really doing those day to day tasks every day. It wasn't until two key things I think happened. One was that his disease progressed very quickly and then he eventually got a tracheotomy, which is where they put in a tube to help him breathe and eat and that seemed to slow down the progress of his disease and that gave them a little bit of hope. And, she also actually stepped away from being his primary caregiver and they were able to hire people to caregive so she could go back to her role as as wife, partner, supporter. And those two things helped them adjust to this disease being kind of their new normal instead of being a hopeless, devastating experience for them. And what's really interesting too is that she talks about their relationship actually being better now because of the way they've had to solve these problems together. And obviously I don't think she would wish this kind of a diagnosis on anyone. But wow, what a powerful message of positivity to be able to say that something in your life is better after something like this has happened to you. And one other thing I'll say too, we mentioned the documentary in, in this interview, AUGIE is the name of the documentary and it's going to be on Netflix and Amazon beginning on March 20th. So if you are interested and inspired by their story, which I'm certain you will be, you can check it out. MU: Here is Cindy with Lynne. CK: This is Cindy Kuzma and I am here with Lynne Nieto. Lynne, thank you so, so much for joining us today on the #WeGotGoals podcast. LN: Thanks for having me. I appreciate it. CK: Lynne, the first big question we usually ask people on, #WeGotGoals is about a big goal you've achieved, why it was important and how you got there and we'll kind of get to that. But you know, first of all, you're a person who's had your life and presumably your goals within that life kind of upended. I had the chance to see the incredible new documentary, AUGIE, about your life and your husband's. But for those of our listeners who haven't had the chance to see it yet, I wonder if we could start by filling them in a little bit on the basics of your story. LN:OK. Well, about 14 years ago, Augie—who started Life Fitness when he was in his early twenties—super great athletes, very, very fit, began feeling, actually could see tangibly that those weights when he was lifting weights was he was less able to do the same amount of weight. And about that time he kept telling me that and I’m, I was basically saying, hey look dude, you're getting older, you know, things like that not work quite as well as they did before. And he noticed some twitching and some they call them fasciculations, which is basically twitching of your muscles in his pec region. And then kind of the real telling thing was he was having a hard time putting shaving cream on with his right hand. And so coming up, this is coming up March, 13 years ago, we went to the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale and received the first of seven diagnoses of ALS. And for, if you're not familiar with ALS, it is a progressive neurological disease that's typically fatal and two to five years. The brain works fine and it's basically almost like an electric cord gets cut where the brain is sending the impulse for movement, but the voluntary muscles aren't receiving it. So in Augie, it started out in his arms, progressed to his legs, progressed into his bulbar area, his in his mouth region where he could no longer speak and then finally into his diaphragm and he was trached, is on a ventilator, has been trached for six and a half years now, so about halfway through his diagnosis and he uses his computer and does all this business work using his feet. So he has a roller ball on his right foot. He has a left click on his left foot and he has his computer mounted on his wheelchair in front of him and he basically works a lot now. So he always worked a lot. His golf game sucks now so he doesn't spend time playing golf that. But that being said, I just left him a few minutes ago upstairs and he was working out in our garage, so he about three years ago, four years ago, he started working out again with special coaches that up until Augie, had only worked with spinal cord injury patients. So he does three, three hour workouts weekly and that's just been really special for him to go back to something that was so core to his life before. CK: Did you say the first of seven diagnoses? LN: Yes. We kept going to try to find somebody that would tell us we didn't have ALS. We were unsuccessful in that. Yeah. My brother, who's an oncologist really kind of took us under his wing when we got our first diagnosis and we traveled the country to the ALS specialists all over and unfortunately got the same answer six more times. CK: I can't even imagine what that must've felt like for you. How did you process this and how did it change the way you looked at life and at goals and at the future? LN: It's I think any time you receive a life altering message, whether it's health or it's, there;s sort of just the shock factor that you can't quite wrap your arms around. In Augie’s case, he went into a deep depression. Couldn’t—here's this highly functioning guy, started the world's largest health equipment manufacturing company and he basically couldn't function and ultimately tried to commit suicide about three months into the diagnosis. About that time—we live in a home that’s down the side of a cliff that has at least three to five stairs in and out of every room and I kind of went the other direction to hypervigilance mode of trying to figure out how we could remain in our home and get an elevator installed and so I went into kind of fix it mode and that was sort of how I tasked myself through it and it was almost like you were trying to just keep your head above water. That's the only thing. I look back at that time as a real just kind of foggy time, really like, stopped working out, stopped of doing everything that was positive and good in our life and just trying to stay on top of things. CK:How and when do you feel like the kind of—because obviously you all have accomplished so much since then. I mean, how did that start to shift for you, do you think? LN:It started shifting probably about five years into the diagnosis. Actually, no—it really shifted about the time Augie was trached and put on a ventilator. Up until then his disease progressed in a pretty, a slow clip for ALS, but it was definitely, Augie was going downhill and a lot of things were thought of in terms of, you know, is this the last birthday, the last Christmas will he ever get to see our kids graduate from college? So a lot of things were kind of looked at it that way. Then in that last six and a half years since he's been trached, his disease seems to have stalled out. He's healthy with the exception of ALS. So now this is just sort of our new normal and we've lived with it so long—we were fortunate enough or we are fortunate enough to have lived this for so long that this is sort of normal. It's our normal, at least. CK:We’ll get back to my Interview with Lynne in just a minute, but first a word from our sponsor this week. This episode was brought to you by Chicago Sport and Social Club. With them, it's more than a game. It's a social sports experience. Whatever your personal goals are, big or small, Chicago Sport and Social Club can list many reasons why you should play. It might be the sand between your toes, meeting people and moving your social life outside for a season. Whatever your goals or reason for playing, Chicago Sport and Social Club has a beach volleyball league for you. You can create a team of all women. You can grab a group of co eds or you can sign up as an individual and get set up with the team. In any case, if bump set and spike are the words that punctuate your summer, you're going to want to register for the league built around you. To do it, go to www.chicagosocial.com, and use code goals. That's G-O-A-L-S when you register for 5 percent off and hey, that's good through March 15. And uh, now it's back to my talk with Lynne CK: So let's kind of then go, go back to that big question, what a big goal that you have accomplished is why it was important to you and how you got there? LN:It’s interesting. When you first posed that question in the email, I was thinking back to career goals and that— as the more I sat and thought about it, the more it, it occurred to me, it wasn't my career goals that really are today the things I'm most proud of. It's our personal, our family, our four kids there who are all married, all have kids, all graduated from college. They're happy, they're fulfilled, they're productive, they're smart. That, that goal I think is probably my proudest and that we’re responsible for another human being's life and that that's a pretty hefty thing to take care of. And so I think that's, even though I'm not certain that was a conscious goal, it ended up being that way. I think how Augie and I were able, not that we can take all the credit because they're just great, great individuals, but kind of living our life by example and invest in their lives. So I think that would be probably, you know, at almost 60, that would probably be my proudest goal to date. CK: Remind me, how old were your children when Augie was diagnosed? LN:Our youngest was 17 and our oldest was 21. So we had three in college, one in high school, CK:And I know it's touched on in the film, but what do you think are some ways that, that this diagnosis and the way that you and Augie have dealt with it, how has that affected your children's lives and do you think that they have taken some examples from the way that you've dealt with it? LN:I think I'm most proud of personally of showing how a marriage can go through struggles and face very difficult times and still come out the other side in a in a good manner. I think I've been a good example to our four kids of what for better or worse means and for staying. And as I touched on in the documentary, I'm not really super certain that Augie and I would be married today without having gone through what we've gone through. Honestly, I know it sounds really weird, but we are the best part of our marriage we've ever been. So if having lived that example for our kids makes—that's a huge goal too. I'm not certain again, was a goal as much as an outcome. CK:Yeah. Sometimes the most compelling goals are ones we didn't necessarily intend to set out for us specifically, but ones that we just reach. Lynne—you did mention, and I thought that was a fascinating part of the documentary that your partnership with Augie has changed through all of this. Can you talk a little bit more about about what you just said about how it is that you two have been able to work together and how your relationship has changed as you've, as you've grown to face these challenges? LN: Well before ALS, I think you had two of the most independent people on the face of the planet that probably in our heads thought we didn't need each other that much. And that's not always a great way to go about a relationship. So we went from Augie being on the road all the time to us being together all the time. I became Augie’s caregiver as he needed more help. We were never apart, so that was quite the transition and never expected that to be that way and I think just in general through the struggles that,  and and through the communication difficulties, we've had to learn to be more thoughtful in what we say to one another because Augie’s having to type it with his feet. I've had to learn to listen and be patient and in that quiet thoughtful time, I think we're better people. It’s so much easier to fly off the handle and it's say things without thinking. CK:And obviously you have these common goals now with the foundation, with Auggie's Quest and with the ALS Therapy Development Institute. I wonder, does having those sorts of goals jointly also change the your relationship and the way that you work together? LN:Absolutely. I think that’s, we're in lock step together now and have a common goal and not unlike being a proud of having taken care of our kids as individuals and and hope to have formed them in some manner into the people they are today, I think we carry that same spirit of because we are the lucky ones. We've been able to live with this disease a lot longer and adjust and we really feel like we have a responsibility to take care of those suffering with ALS that can't because of either their family situation, their progression rate. That we need to make a difference, and so we are solely dedicated at the ALS Therapy Development Institute to finding effective treatments and ultimately a cure for ALS. And we have a unique situation in that we can, Augie can bring his huge sphere of influence to bear. The fitness industry has been behind us since day one. They continue to do that, so I think we have a sense of responsibility. CK:I know that the ALS Therapy Development Institute is a little bit different from the way a traditional academic medical center or research institute is set up. I wondered if you could talk a little bit about how you worked to find the right people and resources to to go about this goal of a cure in a slightly different way. LN:Well, I think what's been really fun for me to watch because I wasn't around when Augie was starting Life Fitness, was to see his entrepreneurial spirit and how how he looks at things differently. He runs the institute as if it's a for profit business, it’s the world's largest not for profit, ALS only research institute, and he's gone at this as if it were a business and with the same laser focus and consideration for needing lightning speed in a disease that kills people in two to five years. So that's where I think he's done such just a unique approach to it because he is approaching it as if it's a business. CK:And for you, I, I've read, I know that you had to get a little bit more comfortable with, with being in the spotlight then you might have been before. So I wonder if you could talk a little bit about that and how you've sort of worked on that aspect of all this. LN:Well, I can't say I am comfortable. I'd like to say I was. I am not comfortable, but I have learned to be in discomfort and just lean into the discomfort and be okay with it and not to worry so much about how something's perfect or not perfect and just try to speak more from the heart. Sometimes I'm better at it than others, but um, and, and I know that, um, if, if Augie could, he would be the spokesperson, but now I feel that sense of responsibility to being his voice. CK:That so clearly comes through in the documentary too. And you and I were talking a little bit before we started recording about what, what it was like to, to go through that process of making the film and, and watching the film. And could you talk a little bit more about what that, what that felt like and um, you know, you mentioned that your opinion on it has changed a little bit now that you've seen it a few LN:Yeah. I think this was something that—Augie really wanted to do this. I being pretty much an introvert, this isn't something that would be on my radar screen and my deal with Augie was that I would agree to go through with doing the documentary, but we weren't going to sugar coat our lives that we were going to share the, the bad as well as the good. And that was very cathartic in many ways. It was also really strange to have people in your bedroom with booms and lights and cameras and, and trying to, I guess just ignore them the best you could to try to be genuine. And that was interesting at times. I'm glad in retrospect we did it. It took a year in chunks of time. It was intrusive. On the other hand, I feel like now we have something that can shed some light on ALS, on trying to find treatments and a cure, on others living with the disease and how we really can make a difference. I do believe that we will have, we know we will be in phase one trials with our first drug in the first quarter of 2018, money willing. We'll have it in phase 2A trials in the third quarter of 2018, where it's actually in people with ALS. That's huge. That's huge in a disease that's an orphan disease only because people die so quickly with it. That's so exciting. I can't tell you. It felt like we felt like we were kind of like the little little train that could going up the hill, going up the hill, going up the hill, asking for money and just telling people to trust us that we'll do well with it and now we have something tangible and that that's, that just makes it all worthwhile. And we have two other drugs in the pipeline that look promising. So I think the difference today versus when we were diagnosed 13 years ago is that there's hope today, you’re not necessarily told to just go home and get your affairs in order like we were. CK: I mean, it seems clear that watching Augie fight must have changed your kind of perception of what's possible, right? LN: Absolutely. It's, it's exciting. It. I have a big smile on my face right now and there's nobody here mean it's just. I mean, you talk about goals, we get this accomplished, we get a treatment and ultimately a cure for ALS? That's a lofty goal and uh, we're, that we quite possibly will get there. CK: As I said, I mean, that's the other big question we ask on this podcast #WeGotGoals and I'm, I'm not really sure you could come up with a more compelling goal than, than curing this disease. What else do you think it will take to get there? And what else would you say about your plans to, to continue this effort in the next, you know, five, 10, few years, however long it takes? LN:I hope it doesn't take that long for those living with the disease. What we've really shown here, Cindy, is that ALS is not an incurable disease. It's, it's just underfunded. So when you ask what we need, it's all money. It's money, it's a plan to accomplish what we're looking to accomplish at the institute, which is treatments and ultimately a cure for this disease. So right now that's the only thing holding us back. If we had a huge windfall of funds coming into the institute tomorrow, we have a plan in place to spend it. So we wouldn't be scrambling around trying to figure out what we're going to do with it. So that's how forward thinking our institute is. CK:You all have raised a pretty incredible amount of money so far. Right? What have your total's been? LN:So Auggie’s Quest has raised about $62 million in the last 13 years and Augie as the chairman of the ALS Therapy Development Institute overall during that same period of time has, has raised total between Augie’s Quest and the institute. $110 million. That's huge. It’s the biggest thing that's ever been done in ALS and we've spent it all. Yeah. CK:What I do and I think that helps people get their, wrap their heads around a little bit. What's, what's required here. How can people. I mean, I know that everyone listening is going to want to watch the documentary as soon as they're able to. Um, what are some of the other ways that people can keep tabs on the work that you all are doing and get involved? LN:Well, Augie’s Quest is part of the ALS Therapy Development Institute, we’re a fundraising arm of it so you can see the work that we're doing and events that we have coming up at www.augiesquest.org, and for specific things at the institute to see AT-1501, which is a drug name not too sexy, but something better will come up in time at our website at als.net. Takes you to our institute's website and I think just to see the things that we're doing and even see other people living with this disease, to put a face on it. So we also have a program within Auggie’s Quest called Team Quest for ALS. Uh, it is, we've done. We just finished our fourth half marathon, Rock ’n Roll half marathon. They’re around the country. We did our first one in Brooklyn, followed by Philadelphia, Denver and just recently in Las Vegas. That was crazy. And we've so far through those four by getting thorough our fitness industry contacts, getting people to get teams together, we've raised over a million dollars. So if you have people that are interested in participating, you can see that on augiesquest.org website for future ones, we're doing one in San Diego, Nashville and Denver again, and New Orleans. It's a cool program. CK:Lynne, it's been so wonderful talking with you and I can't thank you enough for sharing your story and sharing a, a glimpse of your, of your life through the film and, and through this talk today. I thank you so much for taking the time. LN:Well, thank you for having us. And thank you to the listeners for anything you can do to help us get to our goal of finding treatments and a cure for ALS. CK:This podcast is produced by me, Cindy Kuzma, and it's another thing that's better with friends. So hey, share it with yours. You can subscribe to it wherever you get your podcasts and please while you're at it, leave us a rating or review. Special thanks to J. Mano for our theme music; to our guest this week, Lynne Nieto; and to Tech Nexus for the recording studio.

"Sometimes I'm goody goody,  right now I'm naughty naughty"   We discuss her music, style, videos, influence, her relationship with R. Kelly and her untimely death.    Guests: Patrice Abel - The Warrior Healer (Instagram) Charles G Clark - The Wacko Monologues, Baltimore in Conversation

Morgana Rae is the international #1 best selling author of Financial Alchemy: 12 Months of Magic & Manifestation, winner of WE Magazine's "Top Women In Ecommerce” Award, and widely regarded to be the world’s leading Relationship with Money coach. "The Universe doesn't require perfection." - Morgana Rae One of my favorite quotes in this interview is: "To my Law of Attraction friends, don't cheat yourself out of the depths of your despair. It's very, very useful; because it gives you something to push off of. Let yourself sink to the bottom of the pool." Morgana says if you've been feeling like a loser because you're doing everything "right" and you're still getting crappy results, you're either protecting yourself or birthing something new. If you're protecting yourself, you need to identify the monster you're protecting yourself from and get rid of it. "If your Money was a person, who would Money be?" GUEST LINKS - Morgana Rae MorganaRae.com Free 4-Part Video Series Financial Alchemy: Twelve Months of Magic & Manifestation by Morgana Rae Abundance & Prosperity Blog HOST LINKS - SLADE ROBERSON Slade's Books & Courses Get an intuitive reading with Slade Automatic Intuition BECOME A PATRON https://www.patreon.com/shiftyourspirits Edit your pledge on Patreon TRANSCRIPT Morgana: Hi! My name is Morgana Rae. I have been a life and business success coach since 1996. I started out working with people in Hollywood and movie stars and producers and directors. And then, something took a turn. Around 2003, when I became really well known for my unique and weird approach to coaching relationship with money, and I gotta say, your wealth is in your weirdness. Because the way I approach relationship with money, there is nothing else like that out there. And there was so much desire for what I was saying that I kind of pivoted and made that what I call my pain door. Like the entry way for transformation. So I'm sure I'll be talking about how I approach transforming your relationship with money from this monster of scarcity into this honey of love and abundance, and, FYI, when I talk about relationship with money, and believe me, oh my god, my clients have made so many millions of dollars over the years and tens of millions of dollars and it's really interesting watching the arc of my career and how the numbers have been getting progressively bigger and bigger over the years. So yeah, my stuff is really good. For cash and, full disclosure, my work actually has nothing to do with money. When I'm teaching and talking about relationship with money, I'm really talking about your relationship with life. I've just found that money and our money pains and our money issues are a really useful metaphor for the deepest, darkest, most tender vulnerabilities in our relationship with life. Namely our relationship with money is a reflection of our own feelings about our own lovability, our own worth and our safety in the world. So that's what I do. Slade: Oh, wonderful. The people who have been following me for the last 12 years have heard me speak about you many times, I'm sure. Listen I have to tell you how I discovered you. I heard you on a radio show with Dr. Meg Blackburn-Losey back in 2006. Do you remember her? Morgana: Yes! My god, that was so long ago! Slade: I know! So I had just launched Shift Your Spirits as a blog, and I was pretty broke at the time. And I was re-inventing my entire life. I didn't even know how much I can look back at 2006 and see it as this major milestone, just fork in the road. And of course I am no stranger to communicating with spirit entities. But what a lot of people don't even realize about that is, for me, communicating with the Archetypes in particular is something that I’ve done almost my entire life, I mean, I'm one of those people who, I personify everything - my cars have names, my computers have names. Morgana: I get it. Slade: Yeah! So when I heard you ask that question If Money Were a Person, Who Would Money Be… That, I was like, I know exactly what she's doing. And I just immediately went into that sort of automatic writing practice that I had, and my sort of spiritual dialoging, and I went there. I mean I got it almost 100% and I can honestly tell you that I can trace a lot of the success of this brand and platform that I've created to that part of the process. I mean, you were definitely an impact, and I know that you've told the story a lot of times about how that kind of, I call something like that a Shining Sentence. Like, one of those things that just lands in your lap. It's a divinely communicated concept or name or title and I was wondering if you would speak a little about when that first appeared to you. That concept. How did that come about? Morgana: Okay. Well first of all, it was not elegant. And I was not wearing white robes and meditating and feeling peaceful. It's more a great cosmic joke, and, by the way, to anybody listening, who has been struggling and feeling like a failure or a loser or hopeless, congratulations. Especially if you're somebody who's been doing everybody's programs and doing what you're told you're supposed to do, like going to school, getting good grades, hiring a coach, doing what you're told, and you're still getting crap results, I am a member of that club. And I have come to a couple of conclusions, being on this planet for awhile. If you are doing everything you're supposed to be doing, you know, and you're putting in your best effort, and by the way, the Universe does not require perfection. It does not require perfection. Let's say you're just giving it your best effort and it just doesn't make sense why you're still not seeing results, whether it's money, or career, or love, or health. And you're feeling hated and discouraged and all that kind of stuff. I believe, from my experience of coaching many, many, many thousands of people over the last couple of decades, that when that's going on, you are protecting yourself from this result. You are unconsciously protecting yourself from what you are consciously pursing, and by the way, there are always really, really good reasons. You are not a loser. You're actually quite successful at protecting yourself from a perceived threat. And we need to uncover that so we can do something about it. And then there's also the possibility that you are birthing something new. So that was what was going on with me. I had my vision board, and I had my affirmations and I am a good student. You know, National merit scholar, honors in college and you know, taking that good girl student to getting all these certification in coaching and also being really, really good at marketing. And still managing, despite every possible advantage, to make only $100 a month living in Los Angeles, one of the most expensive cities in the world. And this is even after helping new actors and new writers and new directors become celebrities. So I had a reputation People wanted to hire me. And it was like I had superhuman powers to, like a martial artist, to evade getting paid. Really, really impressive and devastating. To the point that, I just kept taking more classes, thinking that, Oh, the next class! And then I'll be able to get paid. Because also I've got this big integrity thing. So I don't want to charge unless I know I can deliver. So I kept getting more coaching certifications and better and better results for clients. And then I would take marketing classes and I remember back in probably 2002, taking a class in Overcoming Sales Objections. And for those who don't know what that is, there are classes that will teach you what to say when somebody says, I can't afford it, or I don't have time, or I have to think about it. There are scripts for that! And being a really good student, I would parry these concerns that clients had, and they would say yes they would hire me. And here's the rub. 7 times in a row. Really think about that. 7. 7 times in a row people said they would hire me and then they didn't show up and they hadn't paid. And after the 7th time, I just ran out of hope. That, it was like the rug of my psychological wellbeing was just ripped out from under me and I plunged into despair. And I remember being in my little one-bedroom apartment and, you know, pulling close those blackout drapes. And just getting on my bed and screaming. I was in so much pain. I was so hurt and frightened and angry and outraged. Because I had done everything. And I still wasn't moving forward and it felt so unfair. And I - it felt like this sadistic cosmic joke that I finally, after all these years, had figured out what I'm here to do. Which is to help people. And I was actually really good at it. In fact, better than a lot of the coaches I knew who were making a lot of money. So I discovered in that moment that I have the capacity to feel superior and inferior at the same time. And I really just wanted to die. And I'm really honest about that. I'm actually - you can't see it, but I'm actually crying right now because money is a really personal thing. It represents our right to survive and the worth that we and society puts on us and then if you dig even deeper, it feels like our lovability. Because our parents were our first experience of money. They fed us, they clothed us, they told us what we were worth. These are the roads that money takes later on. So, by the way, sidebar, any parent issues you have are going to show up in your relationship with money. So here I am, back to my tale of woe. And I'm just lying on the bed, crying and screaming and I'm hating the Universe and I'm feeling deeply hated by the Universe back. And when I cried myself out, to my law of attraction friend, don't cheat yourself out of the depth of your despair. It's very, very useful because it gives you something to push off of. Let yourself just sink to the bottom of the pool. When I cried myself out, I had two thoughts. One was that, for me, Morgana, from southern California, that money had to be my next area of spiritual growth. Mostly because I'm named Morgana and I'm from southern California so spirituality kind of comes easy to me. I don't have the same conflicted feelings around spirituality that I have, say about money. Being this person who wants to be a good person and all that. And I also got curious about what the heck was going on inside of me that couldn't be with money. I just had that idea. What's going on inside of me that can't be with money because Ivy League education, great results for clients, a golden tongue for marketing. It really just didn't make sense. So there's something going on on the inside. And very soon after, within a day or two, I had a session with my coach. Now get this. I'm making $100 a month so I can't even pay rent. But I always made sure that I had a coach, thank god. And my coach, out of the blue, and by the way, I still think he's one of the greatest coaches ever, and this poor guy, just month after month telling me to do stuff and I was doing things and nothing was happening. And then he had this out of the blue moment of brilliance that changed my life forever. So I come to the call and I'm in this dark place and he asked me, and this is where you may want to lean in or pull out your pen. He asked me: If your money was a person, who would your money be? And because I was so fortunate as to be so close to my pain and so raw, that I spontaneously saw my money personified as this big scary dirty violent biker dude who terrified me. And before I made money a person, I had no idea that I had those feelings about money. I didn't know that it was dirty or scary or caused fights. Well, actually once I took a look at that, yeah. Family members, stolen inheritances, people not talking to each other for decades, and things that happened as a child that I, in a very reasonable healthy way, compartmentalized. Because I've always been a person who, if it's a choice between money and relationship, I choose love and relationship, which is a very healthy decision until it starts to not be. But anyway, so I see this biker and I experience how I feel about him. And by the way, this is crucial. It wasn't an intellectual exercise. It's - I could - it was a full body experience where I realized, I could see in my mind's eye, that if I were at a live event with this guy, like I saw myself at this outdoor event, I would have my eye on him constantly to create maximum distance between us. And I had one of those big lightbulb moments in that instance. Oh My God. That's what I was doing with money. So while I was tirelessly taking classes, marketing my heart out, having enrollment conversations, doing everything I was supposed to be doing and with the vision boards and the millionaire mindset and the taglines and the affimrations and all that. I was creating maximum distance between myself and money because it was dangerous. And ultimately could kill me. And that's really dark stuff. And it was really clear to me that I could not have money in my life if that guy was my money. Because when it's a person, it becomes real, in a way that's, like, I know a lot of my peers talk about relationship with money. It's become actually a very popular topic in the, you know, over the last 15, 16 years that I've been doing this, and... But when they talk about money, they talk about ideas. I think Harv Eker has a list of rich people beliefs, poor people beliefs, and all of that is very interesting, but that's very surface level. I don't personally believe in say, a millionaire mindset, but I believe in a millionaire heartset, and the mind will follow the heart. So because this biker felt so scary to me, I knew I couldn't possibly have money in my life if this was my relationship with money, so the biker and I had to break up. I had to get rid of him. And my coach pointed out that he wasn't too happy either. So we ended that. By the way, I don't teach it that way anymore. I just lucked out. My process has become a lot more bloodthirsty and I just follow what works for clients and what produces the most dramatic, powerful restuls. But we can get to that later. Slade: Okay. Morgana: So I got rid of the monster. That's the important part. And that created a new problem. Because I lived in Los Angeles. And I just got rid of my relationship with money and that wasn't going to last very long. And I didn't want the monster to come back. I didn't call it a monster then, I called him the biker, but he was monstrous. So I was aware of this emptiness, this vacuum, that I needed to fill really quickly before the biker came back to fill it. So I thought to myself, who could I want in my life so much that I would be willing to have a relationship with this person, even if it's money. And this is a really important frame, because if you've ever been in a horrible relationship, you know that you're not in a hurry to jump into that again. So I was feeling very burnt and gun-shy. And probably would have preferred to stay single and money-free if that had been an option. So it had to be a person first. The relationship first, not the cash. The relationship can never be based on, do this for me, or, what have you done for me lately, because that becomes the money monster again. That takes away your power and makes you dependent and that's a money monster dynamic. So that's my story. I asked myself, well who could I want in my life so much that I would be willing, willing to maybe have this person in my life even though it's money. Because I was feeling very careful. And hallelujah, because I came to the process so in touch with my pain the monster was so real, and the monster was so gone, it was possible to have this immediate experience of the very real feeling new person. Like, Presto! So the new person who popped in, the archetype that I call the Money Honey, happened to be this tall, dark, handsome, clean cut, young, safe, romantic young man in a tuxedo holding a bouquet of red flowers and in love with me. And by the way, that just popped into my consciousness and I was as surprised as anybody. The flowers, the romance, and the idea of money being in love with me was weird! I had never thought that way before, but he felt so real. And this is really important: I also felt how vulnerable he was. Like he really loved me and I had been breaking his heart for years. I have found coaching so many people that the most effective archetypal relationship with the new Money Honey is romantic. Now I have coached a lot of people who have suffered some form of sexual trauma. I think it's - I don't know if it's the people who hire me or if this is representative of the population at large, but it does seem that the majority of people have suffered sexual trauma. So, this is not a predatory hypersexual partner who is going to trample your boundaries. This is going to be very safe, loving relationship that actually is very helpful in reprogramming your romantic and relationship blueprint in the future. That's just another sidebar. So here's this beautiful guy who loved me, who wanted to be with me, and I had a very strong sense of, I had the power, I was the gatekeeper in the relationship. He had always wanted to be with me and I'd been pushing him away. So I asked him what he needed from me so that he could stay with me the way he wanted to. This was all intuitive. And he responded immediately, which is another useful characteristic of having money be a person, is you can have a conversation and get really useful information. So he said to me that he needed me to love him. And to stop treating him like a monster. Now I know that the idea of the love of money brings up a whole biblical kettle of fish. and I have a few things to say on that. First of all, love is not greed. It's not exploitation. It doesn't harm or hurt people. It is not scarcity-based. It is expansive. It is noble. It brings out the best in you as a human being. That is love. Love is love. Greed and all that other stuff is not love. So that's the first part. And then, a friend of mine took a class in ancient Aramaic two years ago and specifically focused on that passage, and that's not what it ever said in the Bible anyway. What it really said was that the obsession and or the worship of money can cause trouble. And I would be the first one to agree with that. And in fact, not just that the worship of money can cause trouble, but it was written in context of slaves. So if you worship money so much that you don't feed your slaves, you're gonna have trouble having healthy slaves. I don't think any of us would dispute that and I don't think we really, despite what certain Republicans in the United States might say currently, I don't think slavery is an acceptable option. So there actually, you know, just, it never ever said the love of money is the root of all evil. And love is not evil. (inaudible: 24:17) The final piece was so, I made this agreement not, and this is the interesting thing, not to finagle or manipulate or get more cash in my life, but because he was such a sweet, vulnerable lovable person, and I didn't want to be a jerk. And I - he deserved love, and I didn't want to hurt him. So I agreed. Because he was worthy of love. And it had nothing to do with cash. So the final step is, we made an agreement. And next time he brought me a client, I would say thank you. Because this is how he would give me gifts. This is how he wooed me. He would give me clients. And what I was doing, when I had this unconscious relationship with the monster was, imagine somebody gave you a sweater and your response was, Ew, that colour! Ugh! And that's kind of what I was doing. He would send me a client and when I would freeze, and hem and haw and get all weird about stating my fee, it was ike I was going, Ew, gross, scary, embarrassing, it's a monster. Like I was asharmed of him. Which is a really awful, unloving way to be. So I got it and I said I would say thank you. And then the funniest thing happened, is the next day, four people called me out of the blue to hire me. And they hired me. At double what I had ever charged before. And, honestly, it was so uncomfortable for me because I had built these years of neurological patterns where my mouth wanted to talk him out of the sale. And I'm sitting there observing myself, right? Sitting on my hands, biting my tongue while everything in me is wanting to shove a sample session down their throat or, you know, nonsense. And I got to practicing, This is my fee, and then the most difficult skill in the world, which is, and then shut up and let them decide for themselves. And I got, you know, the first one was really hard. The second one was less hard and I just kept getting practice and then very quickly I had a full coaching practice and I was raising my rates, and I was starting groups and getting waiting lists, and I travelled the world, getting married, a hundred times in a hundred countries, I lead my exotic Honey Goddess retreats in Bali and I hop on a plane every few weeks to go across the country to visit my dad who has Alzheimer's. Slade: Okay, well wait a minute. You need to tell us, explain this about you getting married multiple times. What's the story about that? Morgana: Well, I am kind of a relationship-obsessed fool. And my best friend the astrologer will confirm that. From an astrological perspective. And, in fact, I had to make money a cute guy just so I could be nice to him. And, I finally met my guy when I was already 45 years old so, you know, men and women listening, dating actually gets better when you get older because people are grown ups. And, including you and me. So I had this idea that I really, I wanted to travel the world with the love of my life and way back in 2012, I made a decision that I just, I had to change my business to make room for that. Have far fewer private clients, digitilize everything, so that I could leave and travel the world with the love of my life. I called that my make out with a cute guy around the world business plan. And I honestly met my husband, whose name online was Travel Guy, eight months later. Slade: So you made this idea to do this before he showed up! Morgana: Yeah. And, by the way, I also spelled it out in my profile. I wrote, This is my top secret fantasy for the two of us, SHH, in my dating profile that everybody can see, right? Because I've been doing e-commerce so long so even my dating profile has e-commerce schtick in it. Slade: Ohmygosh. Morgana: So I wrote, This is my top secret fantasy for the two of us. SHH. Don't tell anybody. I wake up in your arms in India, Italy or Prague and we make love. And then we check our email. And then we go to a museum or a marketplace or we just get lost and we live like that for months. And I gotta tell you, I attracted the most interesting, educated, worldly, awesome guys with that profile. And married one of them. 20 times so far! Slade: Ohmygosh. Mprgana: And so when I was - in 2014, I was already 47 by then. I had just finished leading my goddess retreat in Bali. And my then-boyfriend was in South Africa on a photo safari, shooting animals with a camera, not a gun. And he would skype me at insane hours, like at 3 or 4am, so that he could get me in Indonesia. In fact, he almost got eaten by a lion just crossing from his house in the bush to the building that had the internet. And men are so funny, because I had already figured out that he was the One. He was the first guy I dated in 10 years who didn't have an expiration sign above his head and... But it had to, he had to almost get eaten by a lion for him to think, What kind of a guy does this just to talk to a girl? You know, for five minutes on a bad internet. She must be the One. That's how he figured it out. So he proposed to me and I was like, well first I freaked out because I knew we were getting married. I wasn't worried about that. I just thought it would take him a couple more years to figure it out. So when it came earlier than I expected, all of my commitment issues came screaming to the surface. But I'd already decided, so... I got home on a Thursday, picked him up on a Friday and we eloped within 24 hours. And I thought, Okay, that's that. And then, a couple weeks later, he had an assignment in Puerto Vallarta, and arranged for me to come too so we called that our honeymoon. And we were down in Puerto Vallarta and we were passing by their iconic cathedral, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and he said, Hey, you want to get married again, as a goof. And I was like, Yeah, sure. My kind of, you know, the game in our relationship is, he suggests things and I say yes. Because it's always a great adventure. And, a woman on our tour said, Well, you know, I'm ordained in the U.S. And he said, Great! You're gonna marry us. So we walk to the front of the cathedral, took off our rings. Tammy Lee, our friend, you know, said some stuff about love. Devon, my husband, made up some new vows. We always just make up our vows on the spot and he said some new stuff that really landed in a deep, beautiful place with me. So I start crying because my husband's quite... He does wedding vows really well. And so I'm crying, we share our vows, we put on rings, people in the pews are giving us the thumbs up, we kiss and it was amazing. It was like, it was deeper the second time than the first time. And we came out, we were euphoric, like, Ohmygod! We have to do this everywhere! We have to get married in temples and mosques and a yurt and standing stones and mud huts. We just need to - we need to experience this everywhere! And within a day, he proposed that we get married 100 times in 100 countries. And we just had, we just had this amazing Mayan Mexican magical wedding in Manzanillo (how many Ms can I get in there). And honestly like, I'm such a bad bride. I've never spent more than $20 on a white lacy dress. Sometimes I forget to pack shoes or brushes. You know, I've combed my hair out with my wedding veil. So I'm a horrible bride. But, in my experience, is that it's really, it's not the venue, it's not the dress. Really, it's just the relationship and the vows. And by accidents. I've had a bunch of big fairytale weddings that I didn't plan and I didn't expect because my husband's a travel writer. Some tourism boards in different countries have just spontaneously offered us these magical beautiful weddings. So sometimes it's in a castle and costumes and foreign languages and customs, and sometimes it's just my husband and me in a hotel lobby or park bench, saying, Here, can you read the script? And it's just a beautiful relationship practice that I think everybody should do. It's cheaper honestly than one big expensive party wedding, at least in L.A. and I think that those big expensive weddings, and by the way, if that's what you want, go for it. That's what I wanted when I was in my 20s, not when I was in my 40s. It's a lot of pressure for a baby marriage. Slade: Yeah. Morgana: So, you know, just for who we are, it's really nice to keep getting married and saying, This is important to us, and for me being an insecure attachment theory kind of person, well I'm across the board. Sometimes I'm insecure, sometimes I'm secure and sometimes I'm avoidant, but it's really nice to keep being reminded that I'm loved. Slade: You've taken this thing that has so much pressure and is such a fleeting thing, and there's really a lot of anxiety around it, right? Like, a lot of people feel so much pressure to get it right and then it happens and then it's gone. And you guys have taken away all the anxiety around it and dialed the romance up and then the best part is, you get to do it over and over again. So it's never in the rear view mirror. You know? Morgana: Yeah... Slade: It's always, it's pulling you through the relationship instead of being this gun that goes off at the beginning of the race. It's this... Morgana: Yeah. I don't think any wedding can live up to the pressure of, you only have one and you have to have it perfect. And I don't think weddings were supposed to be like that. It's really supposed to be about the marriage not the party. When we were in Serbia, because my husband had a childhood friend from L.A. whose mom was Serbian and he moved to Serbia, and then fell in love with Eastern Europe's biggest pop star, it's kind of like their Madonna, Bebi Dol. And we got married there and they wanted, his friend wanted a dual wedding. So, okay, I have 100. I can share one. And, we, you know, the guests were all the friends of Devon's friend. And I don't know why, maybe they were just really drunk, but when my husband started saying his wedding vows, which, by the way, were beautiful, a bunch of wedding guests started booing. Slade: Really! Morgana: I kid you not. I've never heard of such a thing. They started booing. I wanted to walk down the steps on my little kitten heels and punch somebody out. It was astonishing and in that moment, I realized that I wasn't going home with any of those people I was going home with the prize, who was standing right in front of me. And I really got, in that moment, that the wedding is not about the venue or the food, or the guests, or the dress or anything. It's - nobody has the power to ruin your wedding. Unless you give it to them. Because really, all that matters is, you are going home with this person that you choose. You get the prize. Oh! And, by the way, I was talking about personifying money and I'm just like you. My business, she's a person. The book I'm about to write, she's another person. They all have their personhood. I don't even create it. They just let me know. And so, because this singlehood, and this loneliness, has been the greatest pain in my life. I've been looking for my guy since I chased Brian Patterson under the piano on his 5th birthday and he was the older man. So, about two months before I met Devon, I did my money process but I did it with a Love monster. Because it was really annoying. Because I could hear myself on interviews, like every week saying, Well, you know, if you're doing everything right and you aren't getting the results, you're protecting yourself. And so you want to uncover what you're protecting yourself from and turn it into a monster and then get rid of the monster. And I would hear myself saying that and I'd be actually thinking to myself, That's what's going on with love. And... but I just - It took me a really long to finally break down and do the process with Love, because that was a really big monster. Even bigger than the money monster. And I honestly believe all money issues are love issues. So I was going to a deeper level and it was so big and so terrifying that it was just so big. I didn't know how I could destroy it or get rid of it. But I did. I gave it my best effort and I met my husband a couple months later. Slade: I wondered if you had reverse engineered this process for the love, for the love itself, and because there does seem to be a trajectory with your relationship that does kind of parallel what happened with your financial life, your financial relationship, and also followed it, in a really... I mean, we could write a book about this. Maybe you are writing a book about this. You said that you're writing a book. What's your next book about? Morgana: My next book is called, Money Goddess. It's a spiritual manifesto for women's personal and economic empowerment. I've been leading my Money Goddess retreats for, I guess, eight years now. And then I did live events in L.A. and a virtual class before that, and I've just been developing this material for years because I have coached, I've always coached men. But I have more personal experience being a woman. And so, my Money Goddess program, my Money Goddess experiences was really addressing the, Okay you change the relationship with money and then what comes up for women? Our relationship with our sexuality, our bodies, our beauty, our lovability, is the first thing that comes up for women. And then our making peace with our victim experience and finding our Life Purpose. Our rage, that we're not allowed to have in society. We're not, you know, we get, We're not supposed to be angry or vengeful or shrill harpies, right? So we - there's a lot of behaviour that, where we distrust we're not vicious, like evil Lady Macbeth. So there's a lot of human experience that women are supposed to not have, that we get a lot of shit for. Pardon my language. Honestly, I really like to swear like a sailor and I've been behaving very well. Slade: You can. Morgana: Oh! Thank fucking God. Slade: I should've told you at the beginning. Morgana: Haha.. But yeah, you know, it's like all my life I've been told what's wrong with me and I've come to the conclusion that it's not wrong, it's female! And there's a difference. Slade: Mmm... Morgana: So I have a really, especially after the last year, a very... just a fire in my belly about really giving human beings permission to access all of ourselves, and there's a power and a gift! There's a superpower in all of it, in our appetites, and our rage, and our competition and ambition and our victim experience is sacred. All of it has these amazing gifts and also wounds. So this book is really about what it is to... I want to change the conversation about what it is to be a woman. And, by the way, it applies to men and all genders too, but this one is specifically speaking to people who identify as women. Using goddess archetypes, which creates, I think, a nice nobility for our experiences that we've been shamed for. Oh yeah? You're calling me a slut? Well there's a goddess for that. Slade: Right! Morgana: And I embrace that. Slade: Yeah. Morgana: This is a powerful... Lust is a life-affirming feeling. So that's what I'm working on next, is honestly, I want to create a global Money Goddess movement of women who love themselves and respect themselves and are the drivers in their life. Because I think that will be good for the planet. Slade: I wanted to ask you about something called the Results Accelerator Program. Can you tell me about that? Morgana: Oh yeah. That's my newest thing! So here's a problem and I'm really telling on myself here, which is, so for all these years, I coach people or they coach themselves and they get this beautiful, luscious, alive Money Honey experience relationship. And then it kind of fades away. Because even - why do you think I get married all the time? Maintaining a relationship, even with a human being, takes a lot of attention and maintenance. And it's hard enough with a human. It's much harder with an imaginary person who doesn't have a body. So I've been really thinking about, Well how do I solve this problem of reconnecting people to their Money Honey on a regular basis? And that's how this developed. And surprisingly, a lot of people who haven't done my Money Honey work have signed up for it. Because it's not really required but then when they get in they want it and I have tools inside the program to help them slay their money monster and connect with their Money Honey. But it's a daily practice where people log in every day and they set their daily priorities with their Money Honey. And then when negative self talk comes up, they share that and then they share what their Money Honey says to them. And it's like, the negative stuff is a trigger to wake up the Money Honey so he or she can shut up and respond. And that's where the most people come up with the most brilliant insights because they're channelling their highest wisdom, but without any of their own baggage, which is one of the reasons making the Money Honey another person separate, instead of, you know, your future self or higher self or something, but making it, you know, experiencing it as outside of yourself kind of clears it of all your nonsense and gives you a much more loving and accurate assessment, and encouraging us or you, because your Money Honey will always recognize that you are more powerful, creative, and resourceful and wonderful than you see yourself. And if it doesn't, it's not a Money Honey. So this Results Accelerator, I wanted to have a really, just, accessible, super super high touch, high engagement accountability support online love club. That's not about dumping more information because we're just, all the information that we're trying to get through can become oppressive. But to just support you really personally every day. That's what I created a few months ago, and the results have been beyond my wildest dreams. Really, just, people feel loved and supported and they're having results and breakthroughs and stuff that they've been struggling with for years. It's very gentle. I talk about progress not perfection and stripping things down to baby steps and when people are rewarded, then it becomes addictive. So these, you know, positive actions suddenly become the things you've been putting off. Suddenly, you want to do them because you want to get the recognition. And the love. And the support. And then you also start getting great results in your life. It's so much a snowball. So that's my Results Accelerator. That's my new thing. Slade: Very cool. I was actually going to ask you at one point about addressing that whole idea of what happens when the honeymoon is over, or so to speak. That definitely answered that question. I do have a question for you though. This is - some form of this I like to ask everyone, and obviously you're no stranger to all the personal development programs and conversations and new age tools and all that stuff. You've been in it and with it and swimming in that ocean for awhile. Is there anything that you find yourself thinking is really, either bugs you about the whole kind of personal development landscape, or something that you always want to grab the microphone and shout, to correct the conversation. What's something like that that comes up for you? Morgana: I've had a number of, what I would call, dark nights of the soul, where I just have wanted to pull out of the industry. Because I see some people who talk a really good talk and do a lot of harm. And I don't want to be that. And I don't want to be confused with that or associated with that. And I was going through, because like apparently, I'm just freaking empathic, but there was that, I think his name was James Arthur Ray or something. The weekend that he was doing his demigod murderous... you know... tent, smoked tent or whatever it was, thing, where all those people died, I went into just - and I didn't know it was going on, but I went into a dark, dark, dark place and I honestly had to create a whole new monster about the industry and the stuff that I couldn't be with and slay that and kind of create a new relationship with being in the business with a new Money Honey. It was like, Well, the thing about the Money Honey is, that, by definition, my Money Honey shares my values. So, yeah. I don't even know how to articulate it today. I'm kind of jet lagged. I just got back from a two-day conference last week with 100 really high profile multi-six, multi-seven figure coaches and, everybody thinks they're a good guy, right? Slade: Mmm hmm. Morgana: But what happens is, even people at that level, and often people at that level, are scared. Like, they had a few years of really big results, and then the market changes and they become more and more transactional. And it's, you know, people think that more dollars is gonna solve problems. No. The stakes just get higher. So now they have all these employees to pay and the money isn't coming in. So the challenge is, you know, people, when people are coming from scarcity, they can become more transactional than relational. Do your due diligence before you hire people. Run their name and maybe ad scan when you Google it, to see what people are saying. Trust your gut. That's a big one because some of, you know, sociopaths are very good sales people. Because they can promise anything because they don't really care about delivering it. So something can sound really, really promising, intellectually. Trust your gut. I think our guts really know. There are some really, really great coaches out there. And some not so great coaches. Things that used to work really well, like product launch formula, and tele-summits, and you know, things like that, are not working as well as they used to. JB launches not working as well as they used to, and I don't know that that language is being represented by the people selling those formulas yet. So I'm gaining - this is very rambling because I haven't really, you know, but I'm gaining just a real deep, deep appreciation for the original old school pure form of coaching, which is not telling anybody what to do, or telling anybody how to do things, but is really just, through conversation, drawing forth your own answers. Because you know what you do and what you believe and what you value and what you want better than anybody else does. And you want to be able to communicate with integrity. To be successful in business. Now what I'm saying is that the purest, most relationship oriented people with the best integrity are weathering the market changes a lot better than the people who are being transactional and treating clients like objects and dollars. Slade: Thank you for that. I always love asking that question because it does produce an interesting improvisational unearthing of wisdom, and I actually personally took a lot from that. So I got a lot from what you just said, if no one else has. Morgana: I'm glad. Slade: So thank you. Listen, Morgana Rae, I'm such a huge fan of yours. I really am. It's a thrill to capture our conversation with you. I want to make sure that you tell everyone where they can go online to find you and where they can start working with your material. Morgana: Absolutely. Lots and lots of high quality free stuff at MorganaRae.com Start with my four-part free video series. Also my blog has hundreds of articles and videos and when you opt in for the video series, you would be on my VIP list where I can curate and send you my newest articles or things that I think would be helpful for you to read or see. Whenever I have any freebies, you'll be the first to know about it. When my Results Accelerator sessions open up every, you can't get in except once every four weeks, you'll hear about that. When I go back to do another Money Goddess retreat, you'll hear about that. But mostly it's content. And you can opt out at any time.

Please download images to share the podcast on social media.Show NotesWelcome to this week's chronic illness podcast episode of Invisible Not Broken. This week I am talking with Elana who has the chronic illness condition neurofibromatosis, bipolar and partial blindness. Along with her chronic illness, she is a caregiver to her young children who have their own disabilities. Elana is not only taking care of her own physical limitations she is also parenting children who have their own mental and physical challenges. She spends close to 40 hours a week coordinating care for her family.Her daughter is on the autism spectrum, ADHD, and childhood Clinical Depression. We talk about school's fiscal responsibility to children with special needs. Some of the struggles of parenting and disciplining a child with Aspergers and how to handle a first grader who has clinical depression.Her son has NF needing constant wheelchair and g tube. We talk about some of the VERY difficult decisions parents with a genetic disorder have to make. Come to this discussion with kindness and gentleness. Each choice is DEEPLY personal. The definitions of a medical miracle and one of the most lovely stories I have ever heard.How surgeons handle a fourteen-hour brain surgery and why Elana has twitches when she hears the theme to Orange is The New Black . We talk about self-care and the frustration of hearing DECREASE your stress. Drs. beware. The multidimensional theory of chronic illness and caretaking. Grab your bowtie and fez, ok I went Dr. Who and Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere but Elana is using Stranger Things. We are geeks We are fine with it.NestingDivorce Style Spousal SupportMichelle Obama Go High If you enjoyed Join the party Sign up with your email address to receive news and updates. Email Address Sign Up We respect your privacy. Thank you! Questions & AnswersWhat is your disorder? *NF1, Mood Disorder, Essential Tremor (Me). ASD, Mood Disorder (DD), Epilepsy, Epilepsy, CP, CVI, CAPD, Medically Fragile, G Tube (DS)At what age did your disorder become a daily issue? *2Who were you before your illness became debilitating? *A regular mom before they were sick/special needsWhat would you do if you were not dealing with your invisible illness? *I have absolutely no idea. Unfathomable.What would you like people to know about your daily life? *That I am tired ALL the time. That it feels like too much, ALL the time. That you have to continue, even if there is no "light"...What would make living and moving in the world easier for you? *If society actually supported families like mine rather than empty promises. If people were not afraid of my kids (or wracked with "survivor guilt")Do you have any life hacks? *Not to be glib, but its all a life hack. Everything from parking when there is no wheelchair lift, to managing hospital discharge to getting kids with eating disorders fed. This is not what it was supposed to be.What kind of support do you get from family or friends? *This is really hard to answer. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by the large and small outpourings of love. Sometimes I'm alone on an island and its like no one can see me.Have you ever had someone not believe you have an invisible illness because of your appearance? *Me less so because I'm very proud so I don't share much. My daughter, all the time.Has this been a positive or negative experience? *It's been a learning experience. As people get to know her better it's interesting to see how their perceptions change. It's also helpful that even in the last 5 years, they way people think about autism has changed.Would you care to relate the details of what happened when someone didn't believe you were disabled?It was very hard and remains hard to get my daughter the services she needs. There have been times when people come around and I want to scream I TOLD YOU So but that does me no good. I'm learning a lot about humility and patience.How has your invisible illness affected your relationships? *Most of the people I used to know are not in my life in a meaningful way. The ones that still are I appreciate even more. Being a caretaker gave me the strength to release my ex and I from a relationship that had died long ago. We work very hard on keeping things amicable.Is there anything you are afraid to tell even the people closest to you? *Not really. Almost nothing frightens me. If people cant take me for 100% who I am, they can go away. Life is too short for any of that.Does the fact that your disease is invisible change how healthcare professionals treat you? *I'm not sure because we see mostly specialists who specialize in our particular diagnoses. I am glad that none of us of chronic pain. I've heard that's the worst.What is your best coping mechanism? *My stubborn personality. My work hard/play hard approach to life. Having few fucks to give about anything that is not important.What are you the most fearful of and hopeful for in the future? *I'm fearful that it's too late for the world in general. Well less fearful and more that is my conclusion. I think the human race is totally doomed. The US is crumbling and I have no hope really for the long term. Who are we to think that we are better than any other country and/or that our species is above extinction. We don't use our higher brain power for much good. For hopeful, it's the little things. I'm hopeful no one is hospitalized in the next 6 months. That would be awesome!What is your favorite swear word?Fuck or DouchebagIs there anything you want to make sure we talk about during the interview? Like an organization you want to promote or something specific that you deal with.So many. Id love to do an entire recording on the small non-profits that truly save lives. One goal I have is to help people target their philanthropy to more efficient, higher impact organizations.What is the best purchase under $100 that helped your lifeNetflix See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I must admit that being an authentic follower of Christ is not easy. I face temptations every day. When people are unkind, at times I want to speak out to them in disgust. When others cheat me, I want to restore justice, not by seeking revenge but by forcing restitution. Yet Jesus tells us in Luke 6:29 that when someone takes your cloak offer him your shirt as well. Sometimes I'm able to follow His words; other times not to much. What I have learned about being a Christian is this:This show is brought to you by Talk 4 Radio (http://www.talk4radio.com/) on the Talk 4 Media Network (http://www.talk4media.com/).

1. Sometimes God asks us to do things that don't make sense. 2. Sometimes reaping the harvest requires more than just doing the right thing. 3. Sometimes I'm satisfied to stay right where I am. 4. Sometimes we are terrified that God might do something in our lives.

  From the arms of a martial arts instructor to a Russian yoga teacher, all while mourning the loss of her mom and renewing herself, Francesca shares her journey which has led her to teaching and coaching others worldwide. And at the end of this episode I'll share with you a tiny food that is a big powerhouse for helping fight depression as well as balancing hormones. Our guest, Francesca Gentillé I am very excited to be joined here today by Francesca Gentillé, who is an initiated shaman in 4 traditions, a clinical sexologist, she's an empowered aging specialist, and a relationship counselor. She has published, appeared on television and also teaches all over the world. Francesca has an incredible story to share with us today as well as a really generous gift just for listeners of Clean Food, Dirty Stories, which we'll share with you later. First though, let's get to the story. So Francesca welcome to the Clean Food, Dirty Stories podcast! I'm really excited to have you here today! Francesca: I am so delighted to be here Barbara. Barbara is also one of my favorite people in the world; creative, talented, big hearted. Me: Well we've had a lot of adventures together. We have enough stories to fill up an entire season of a podcasts all by ourselves. But for today's story I know that like me you grew up with depression. Also, you had some quite heavy food intolerances where you may have felt like you were almost in the wrong kind of family. So can you tell us a bit about that? Francesca's story Francesca: Yes absolutely. I was raised in a very loud, periodically, emotionally volatile, creative, dynamic, great cook Italian family, an Italian American family. And my mother was bipolar: it was the worst of times and the best of times, and of course they were cooking Italian. So there were lots of pastas and wonderful homemade pizzas and canola. Me: Sounds like heaven. Francesca: It was on the one hand beautiful and so tasty but I would always feel tired and I would feel depressed and they would say in the family that I was always sleeping. They'd say "Why is she so sensitive?" Enter the food intolerances I think some of our sensitivities are signs of being a shaman and but on the other hand I think some of the sensitivity was exacerbated by the food intolerances. And I didn't know this until many years later when a friend of mine was reading The Body Ecology Diet for candida yeast infection that wouldn't go away. She said that when she started doing the diet her yeast infection not only went away, but within two weeks her body pain went away and within a year she lost thirty pounds. And it was the body pain that I that I kind of tuned into and I decided to try it and as I tried it I realized that my body wasn't hurting. Suddenly I felt like I had more energy and I also felt like my mood was stabilized. Yes, a huge difference. Me: So what food did you cut out for that? What were you intolerant to? Francesca: I was intolerant to gluten. Me: Wow! So Italian food was a big no, no. Francesca: All the breads have lots of gluten. So all the pastas all of that is gluten. We eat that and I was also intolerant to cow dairy; so lactose basically. Me: Well so cheese. Francesca: Cheese, and I could have a little goat or a little sheep but in general they were cooking with cow cheese. And so those were two things that were death to my body and my immune system and really I think creating that leaky gut syndrome for me too. Cutting out the bad stuff Me: I know that you said that later on you solved all of that. So besides cutting out gluten actually what other foods did you cut out? Francesca: Well eventually, I have to say I'm somebody who does my life in like small steps. I'm not someone who has created success by changing my whole life overnight, whether that's in relationships or whether that's in business or whether that's and in food. Normally I'll try one little thing and then try another little thing. Me: Sounds like me. Francesca: At first it was gluten and dairy but I was still eating processed, you know like quinoa pasta and millet bread. And then eventually I went on a two week kind of cleanse where it was no processed flours at all; some grains but no processed flours. No sugar, no caffeine, no dairy of any kind and lots of vegetables - cooked and raw. A little bit of grains that might be cooked and then a small amount of either fish or chicken, but lots of vegetables everyday. Many more than I had normally done in any given day and some fruits. And I found in two weeks that I started to feel better and I found in a few months that even though I actually hadn't lost any weight which was something that I wanted but even though I hadn't lost any weight people would start to say "What have you done to your face? You look younger, you look radiant!" It was all these fruits and vegetables and wonderful fruit and juice smoothies. Then within a year I was down to my ideal weight and I just felt amazing! Me: Wow, that's fantastic! Francesca: I did it the healthy way. Enter the martial arts instructor Me: So then I guess you looked so radiant and so amazing that the martial arts instructor found you right? You mentioned that - how did you meet him and what happened? Francesca: Well in this process it wasn't at the complete end of the steps towards health. But in this process of getting more and more healthy, I am also a teacher of relationships and sexuality, and I teach recovery from trauma, and I teach about tantra in a healing way for couples. So while I was doing this, this gentleman came to one of my classes. I felt some energy between us, but at the same time I had learned that sometimes the man I'm most attracted to is the one that I need to walk away from. My animal instincts that get very attracted to people do not tell me that that person is honest. They do not tell me that that person is good. They only say that we have compatible histo immune systems. I thought I should walk away and I did. But he kept writing to me and one day the email wouldn't work. I tried so many different ways but it would not go through. He had given me his phone number so I called him and I said "Do you know if there's a problem with your email?" and he said "Maybe you're just supposed to talk to me." A beautiful relationship So we started to talk and it developed and it really became a very beautiful and magical relationship. He had been studying Dzogchen Buddhism which is a very spiritual form of tantra for twenty five years. We had a lot in common in terms of core values, and it became a relationship which I think of as a soul mate relationship of the best kind, where we were passionate and compassionate. In the six years we were together we never yelled at each other, we never raised our voices. That's not to say we never had a problem or a disagreement, but we were able to work through those disagreements while staying in a centered, mature, adult state. It was such a grace. When I would walk into the room we'd each take a breath like "ah, now I'm safe, now I'm home". And even though he swore he would never get married because he'd been married twice before and they were these terrible relationships, in four years he asked me to marry him. Are you sure you want to marry me? I always knew he would. Although I thought it was going to take a decade, but I always felt like "yes, he's going to ask me to marry him. He just needs to heal a little bit from these past relationships". So when he asked me to marry him after four years I was shocked. He said "You're not saying yes!" and I said "Well I-I didn't expect you to ask me to marry you yet!" I said "Are you sure you want to marry me? Do you know my flaws? Sometimes I'm messy and I don't clean up right away". He said "Yes, I know that". I said "Oh and I love pretty things and sometimes I can kind of over shop and I'm not good at saving money". He said "Yes I know that". So I was like going through the list of all my flaws and he said, "Why do you think it took four years?" He said "I actually wanted to marry you sooner, but I wanted to make sure that I could hold space for your imperfections". And so I said yes, but we decided to wait until my son graduated from high school. That was a few more years down the road. Good news So you know, things were going well, but his business was failing. He was a full time martial artist, he taught martial arts to school children and adults. And it really wasn't financially successful and that was very hard on his heart. It was very challenging for his self-esteem. One day he came to me and he said "Francesca I have some good news and some bad news". And I said "Tell me the good news!" He said the good news is that a friend of his was selling a fitness center, a gym in town in his town with all the workout equipment etcetera. John said "If I combine fitness and martial arts, maybe that will be the ticket for success". I said "Honey, that's great!" Because of course we want our partners to be happy and fulfil their life's mission. I said "You should do that, what's the bad news?" And bad news His martial arts studio would be open from about 8 or 9 in the morning till 9 at night with some breaks in the day. It would get very quiet until the kids came after school. So it had a certain pace that had some spaciousness in it. And you know 8 or 9 in the morning till 9 at night, although still a long day, is not terrible. He said that this fitness studio was open from 4 in the morning till 11 o'clock at night. Because he was investing his money into it, he felt that for at least the first maybe 4 to 6 months he needed to be there. He needed to see how it was being run so that he could try to change it and make improvements. And he said "For approximately 4 to 6 months sweetheart I'll be getting 3 or 4 hours of sleep a night and I really won't have any bandwidth". Well, be careful of what you say to the universe! I said "Oh don't worry, our relationship is so strong, we can handle this". And 5 days later... Within 5 days of that my mother died. 5 days after he signed the papers and put the money into the investment. You never know how you're going to respond to the death of a parent or someone that's very, very close to you. You don't know until it actually happens. And I adored my mother but I was also afraid of my mother. I was conflicted and although I had a lot of anger towards her while she was alive, I made a choice never to bring that anger to her. As she got older her bipolar got worse and she eventually had Alzheimer's, and it just isn't appropriate to bring these kinds of unresolved issues to people who are mentally ill. Me: But then you have to solve them for yourself, right? How do you do that? The grieving process Francesca: And all of those unresolved emotions were there. All the anger and rage that I never expressed to her was there. And then the grieving, because since about twenty five till when she died when I was fifty I had chosen to mostly be separate from her even though we'd been very close when I was young. So I was not only grieving that she was now dead, I actually was grieving the twenty five years that I had chosen to be separate from her. Me: And did you regret those twenty five years? Francesca: Yes and no, because if I had to go back I would probably still make the same decision because she didn't feel safe to me. On the other hand, for the little girl like when I was very young and she was a bit healthier, probably from you know birth till about thirteen we were very, very close. And so the little girl in me just missed her mommy. I would be at home alone curled up into a little fetal ball rocking and this little voice would come out of me saying, "I don't understand!" It was this little girl who just didn't understand that her mother was gone and didn't understand that she would never have an opportunity to be close to her. I think the magical child always hoped in some way that they would reconcile. So yeah I was very shattered. My son would later say that it was like I was missing for two years. Me: How old was your son? Francesca: My son was... I think he was either, maybe about fourteen, something like that. Me: Oh wow! Okay, so old enough to know that yeah there was some heavy stuff going on. Walking in the underworld Francesca: And yeah, those two years in many ways are a blur. I would eventually end up going to two therapists a week for over a year, a year and a half. And I really ended up feeling like I was later like I was walking with my mother in the underworld for that time. Me: Oh wow! Francesca: Yes, it was very deep, it felt very profound. Me: That must have been very helpful, very healing. Francesca: Where I am now, I'm at peace with her. I feel her love for me, I feel my love for her. It's like we've completed what we were meant to complete in this life, and I feel like I've known her many lifetimes and I'll probably know her again. Me: Yep, I'm sure you will. The birth of a crazy idea Francesca: But in this time period where so much of my energy is now in the underworld or so much of my little girl is grieving and crying while my adult self is missing...In that time period John is getting three or four hours sleep a night. He needed me more than he ever needed me and I couldn't be there emotionally. And then I needed him more than I ever needed him, and he couldn't be there for me emotionally. Neither one of us were thinking particularly straight. But we were noticing that we were getting more and more depleted, more and more raw. It's almost like when you haven't had enough sleep and your mind is just starting to think sort of crazy, and you almost feel like you're shaking because you're under-slept. Both of us were like that because I wasn't sleeping well with the grieving. Me: Well and you do literally start to lose your mind when you lose sleep, when you don't have enough sleep, right? I mean that's a proven thing. Francesca: Exactly, and we came up with this crazy idea which is "We need more support, we need more energy in the relationship. I know! We'll open up the relationship in a 'don't ask, don't tell' model". Me: Wow! So can you explain? Because some people might not know what that is. How not to navigate an open relationship Francesca: I'm not against open relationships or polyamorous relationships or swinging or anything else. And I think there are ways to have open relationships that are beautiful and ways to do them terribly. Just like there are ways to be monogamous that are beautiful and ways to be monogamous that are awful. I mean it's not the design of the relationship that is the grace or the problem. It's really "Are we centered? Transparent? Collaborative? Compassionate? Do we have good communication skills?" That's what's going to make any design better or worse, depending on who we are bringing to that relationship. Well one of the things as a relationship counsellor that I would say is that if you're going to have an open relationship it's actually healthy to be transparent, to reveal to your partner, to not lie, to not hold things back, to be able to collaborate so you still feel like you're a partnership. So even though you might be dating someone else, or going to a party and canoodling with someone else, you still feel like your home partnership is your best friend, is that place that you're the closest to, is the person that you're revealing everything to. And I think it's very dangerous to try to do this without revealing to each other. It's very easy when we start withholding information, whether about sex or anything else. Sex, money, you name it; when we start to withhold information, it's easy to build resentment. So it's easy to start feeling more and more separated. Now this is a crazy notion that I never would have agreed to in my right mind, but I wasn't in my right mind. Where's my primary care support? So we agreed and we weren't living together at this time. We were living in different houses but we'd see each other every weekend and talk every day. And he ended up having a couple of, you know, kind of flings. Things that were a little lighter, it was fun, it was sexy but it wasn't particularly emotionally depthful. But I felt - oh my God! Barbara, I felt like I was going crazy. I felt like I just wanted someone to hold me when I cried. And I wanted someone to hold me in the night when I felt so frightened and alone. For me, I didn't want just a little sexy fun fling. I felt like I needed what they call in the hospitals in America 'primary care support'. Like when someone is in the intensive care unit and they need twenty four hour care. I felt like that was me. Enter the Russian yoga therapist And there was a man that had been a student of mine who was very, very alluring, kind of reddish brown copper hair, big almond brown eyes, slender...He was a Russian yoga therapist and massage therapist. Me: You already got me intrigued! Francesca: With long hair...and he and I started to spend more time together and he was being emotionally supportive. And when this open relationship design came into being I went to him and I said, "What do you think?" Well he was all over it! Me: Literally! Francesca: Oh my God all over it and all over me! I remember a night, I think it might have been the night where I said you know, we've opened the relationship and we could get together where I think he said like he couldn't get out of this chain link fence, he was somehow locked in. He actually climbed the fence, and he ripped his clothes! You know, this person who's just like running to try to get to you... Me: Like in a movie, right? Francesca: And it was the beginning of...of course it was very passionate in the beginning and we were, you know, making love at night and in the middle of the night, and in the morning, and we were traveling together...within a month I had actually moved this guy in! Me: Wow! Did John know at that point? Francesca: No because we were doing the 'don't ask, don't tell' model! Me: Oh! Oh my God...okay! Francesca: Yes! Life with a sexy fitness coach And this guy was this primary care support where he would cook for me, and he was someone who cooked very vegan, very healthy. So he would cook for me. He was also a fitness coach so in the mornings he would have me do yoga stretches. And it was in a way it was exactly what I needed. I could tell that this was moving too fast and that John... I couldn't keep doing 'don't ask, don't tell'. When 'don't ask don't tell' becomes 'you'd better tell' So I visited John and I said I need to talk to you. I said "I have gone and not just dated someone, I've not just had sex, but I've gone very, very deep. I've formed another primary relationship and I've already moved this person in". And of course John was shocked and hurt but once again he was getting three or four hours of sleep a night. He just didn't have the bandwidth to even talk about it. It was just...we tried to talk, but he didn't have the bandwidth, and I didn't have my normal skill sets. I'm normally quite erudite, normally very adept in language and communication and in graceful language and communication, and I wasn't. Within I would say maybe a couple of months, John called me and he asked me if we were having unprotected sex. And we were. John said, "Were you planning to tell me?" I said "Yes". He said "When were you planning to tell me?" And I said "You know, I think the next time we were going to get together". John said "Well, it's over". Another death to grieve And then I was not only grieving the death of my mother, but I was grieving the death of the relationship with my soul mate. It really was the best relationship I'd ever had and it's now been ten years and it will be best relationship I've had so far; hope springs eternal, but so far - and it was another shattering for me. So now I'm with this seductively charming Russian yoga master, and it seemed like 'well maybe you're supposed to be with him'. Is this my stuff or his stuff? But something starts to happen where I start to feel more and more insecure. And at first you know maybe I'm thinking 'well it's because I'm grieving' or 'it's because I'm not centered' But I've come to find out over the years - I now have a data collection taken from many relationships - that in the relationships where I feel the most calm, I am with someone who is honest, with good integrity and who is in fact trustworthy. And when I'm in a relationship with people who are lying to me or withholding or cheating in some way, I start to feel more and more insecure. Me: Well that makes sense, right? Francesca: There is an exception to this and usually whenever I start to feel a little insecure, possessive and obsessive in a relationship, I make sure to get counselling. I make sure to get the support so that I'm coming back to the center and I've separated out what are my issues from my childhood versus what is my energetic intuition saying about this relationship. Me: Yep I get it. When a healthy influence turns to dysfunction Francesca: And so sometimes we do have some of our own issues from the past. But with all the therapy and everything...One week the therapists both said - even though they weren't talking to each other - in the same week they both said "I think you need to look at your relationship. I think you're not just grieving and I think that there are some things that might be unhealthy in your relationship" and they both said it interestingly enough the same week. So with this guy, something would just snap in him and he would begin to yell at me. He'd yell at me and shame me and denigrate me - not just for like three minutes, but I would time it. For fifteen minutes, for twenty minutes, for twenty five minutes, for thirty five minutes. Me: Right, so super unhealthy. Francesca: Super unhealthy! and I would tell him, you know, "I'm grieving, this is not okay, I can't handle this". It would be fine for a little while and then he'd go back to it again. Very emotionally abusive. I didn't actually find out until after we broke up that he had been... we also ended up teaching together and he had gone to some of the students in our classes after he found out that they had been molested as children, after he found out that they had terrible family backgrounds and it was hard for them to understand their boundaries. After he found that out, he would seduce them. Me: Whoa! He should be in jail! Seriously! Francesca: Yeah! I didn't find this out until after we broke up and then ... Me: So what did you do? What's the lesson here? Francesca: I tried to let my community know that this person was very, very unhealthy. And you know I did my best to get that information. But it felt terrible, really, really terrible. I had allowed him to stand beside me and teach, I'd actually helped promote him in my community. That's still something periodically that's heavy on my heart. And for me I want to say that I've learned to forgive myself and that's an important part of healing. Me: Oh yeah. Francesca: We can't just beat ourselves up, we have to get the lesson. Like what's the lesson? Part of that lesson - this is very interesting - when my mother died, no one came to visit. What do you do when someone dies? Where I come from back in the center of the United States, it's more farmland, it's more...people are in the same area generation after generation, and when someone dies, your friends show up or your family shows up and they bring you food. They understand that you're not going to want to cook, that you're going to feel sort of out of your body. So people show up and take care of you at least for the first couple of weeks if not longer. When my mother died, no one came to visit. I tried to email and say, you know, my mother has died, I feel very shattered, this is so hard, I'm having so many emotions...and no one came. Tough questions and enlightening answers A couple of months later when I was out in the world I would see my friends and I would say "Do you know that my mother died?" "Yes". "Okay uh...I'm curious, why didn't you stop by? Or why didn't you call?" And what I heard really highlighted the wounding that we have in our culture around grieving. So what they said was, "Well you're such an independent woman, I thought you would want to do it yourself". Well this is weird because you know, in most cultures in the world you grieve in community. You don't grieve by yourself! That's such a weird modernization. We're meant to do this together. And so I thought 'hmmm, that's a wound of culture that they thought I needed to grieve by myself'. Some people said that they were afraid of death. I understood that and I could have compassion for it, but I thought that's another wound of culture. Because death is so removed. It's in the hospital, it's far away, it's in a hospice. We don't see death like we would have seen it a hundred years ago, a couple hundred years ago where death was a part of life. You learn to work with it. Once again you learn. People would say "I wouldn't know what to say, I didn't want to make it worse". I would say "Well, let me give you an option. One possible thing to say is 'I'm so sorry for your loss'". Me: Yes exactly! Francesca: Fairly safe, but they literally didn't know that! Enter the life-changing answer So the answer that started to change my life was when people said, "Francesca of course I love you, of course you're important to me, but I thought that you're so well loved that you would have people that were closer to you than me. People who would be with you". And I said "Well what I think I hear you saying is that you don't realise that you're important to me. That you don't realise that you're actually really close to me". And they said "Yes!" and I thought 'Whose job is it to let you know that you're important to me?' Me: Yours! Francesca: It's my job! But I'm not doing a good job of letting people know that they actually matter to me! When walls no longer serve When I saw that I thought 'Oh my God! I have a wall around me'. It's the wall that I built to protect myself. I built it brick by brick as a child, as an adolescent, as a young woman. And I built this wall to try to protect me from being hurt by my family or being hurt by mean kids or etcetera. But now I realize this wall that has been designed to protect me also keeps people from me and I have spent my life proving my independence and that I can take care of myself. So if I need to move forward in life, the next development in life is to let people in to care for me and to let out, to be vulnerable, to reveal how important you are to me. Me: Wow! That is almost freaky because I had the same realization about the wall about a year ago. And in fact that was one of the reasons why I started this podcast! Because I thought, 'What way can I start to share some vulnerability with the world?' How can I start to yeah, just you know, tear down the wall, basically! So that is really freaky because I didn't know that that was going to come up today. Wow! Francesca's gift We have to wrap things up pretty soon but before we do that, I mean what an incredible story! I want to put links obviously to what you do in the show notes. But before we get to the food tips for this episode I know that you have very generously offered a special gift for our podcast listeners. So can you say something about that? Francesca: I have! You know, all of the suffering becomes a grace when we learn from it and in that we can help others. So if anybody's listening and they've suffered a lot, on the other side of that suffering is who you are as a healer. I want to offer my support to all of the listeners and to say that I'm happy to offer you a gift session by phone or Skype. This will be approximately forty five minutes to an hour. You would email relationshipdiva@gmail.com and put in the subject, 'gift session'. I'm happy to collaborate with you and really offer my support for our time together. Me: Wow! That is awesome Francesca, thank you so much. I know that people will take advantage of that because I mean you've got so much to offer in so many areas. Around sexuality and relationships and even, you know, life's journey and the whole thing. So thank you so much for that. I really appreciate it. It's been super, super having you on the podcast! So thank you again so, so much! A food that helps you fight depression and helps with balancing hormones So, I mentioned at the beginning of this episode that I'd share with you a tiny but amazing food that can help fight depression as well as help with balancing hormones. And that food is... Flax seeds! Benefits of flax seeds, including balancing hormones Flax seeds are amazing and if you aren't eating them yet, you've got to get yourself some. The reason they can help fight depression is because they're high in omega-3 fatty acids. But they also can help with balancing hormones. I'll link to a study in the show notes that seems to say that eating flax seeds may help prevent some forms of cancer. Flax seeds are also high in fiber and low in carbs, and they help reduce sugar cravings, they improve your skin and hair...I mean there are just too many benefits to mention here, so I'll link to an article or two in the show notes if you'd like to read more about flax seeds. How you eat flax seeds Now, how do you eat flax seeds? Well, some people buy flaxseed oil and pour that over salads and veggies. What I like to do though is buy the whole seeds and then grind them quickly in a coffee grinder or high-speed blender. You can then sprinkle them over salads or cereals, or use them to make crackers, bread, pancakes and all kinds of things. They're great to thicken recipes. And of course if you want some specific recipes that use flax seeds, I've got a gorgeous recipe for Nut Burgers (and ketchup) in my 5-Minute Mains recipe ebook that I'll link to below. Have YOU got a story to share? If you've got a true story to share, and you'd like to know what food could have saved the day in your situation), I'd love to hear from you! Got a question, or a comment? Got a question, or a comment? Pop a note below in the comments, that would be awesome. You can also subscribe to the podcast to listen 'on the go' in iTunes. I hope you have an amazing day. Thank you so much for being here with me to share in my Clean Food, Dirty Stories. Bye for now! RESOURCES Francesca's website: www.FrancescaGentille.com For a 30 minute Gift Session, email Francesca and mention Gift Session from Clean Food, Dirty Stories. Article on benefits of flax seeds: https://draxe.com/10-flax-seed-benefits-nutrition-facts/ Article on brain benefits of flaxseed oil: http://www.livestrong.com/article/472237-flax-oil-for-mood-brain-functions/ Scientific study on flax seeds and cancer: http://clincancerres.aacrjournals.org/content/11/10/3828.short Recipe ebooks including 5-Minute Mains (for Nut Burgers and Ketchup recipes): https://rockingrawchef.com/5-minute-recipes/   About Francesca Gentillé Francesca Gentillé is a Certified Clinical Sexologist & Relationship Counselor. She is the popular internet radio host of Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra and co-author of the award-winning sex & relationship book "The Marriage of Sex & Spirit." Francesca is the co-director of the The Somatic Sensual Healing Institute, and the founder of The Sacred Courtesan School of Feminine Mystique and Power. She says: "There is no one true, right and only way to design a relationship, fulfill you purpose, or heal from past trauma. Together we will create a path that is uniquely suited to you. In a gentle, graceful yet powerful manner you will deepen your authentic life."

13 My Feelings Sometimes I feel happy Sometimes I feel sad Sometimes I feel silly Sometimes I feel mad Whatever I am feeling it's really quite okay For what I feel are feelings I feel different ways each day Sometimes I feel grumpy Sometines I’m sick inside Sometimes I feel embarrassed Sometimes I'm filled with pride Whatever I am feeling it’s really quite okay For what I feel are feelings I feel different ways each day 更多内容，关注Anna老师亲子英语微课 个人微信:15942686862； 微信公共账号：magicforest2016

Matt Wells is a Musician, Actor, Writer, and the list keeps growing. He is living his DreamJob and has many more dreams that he shares for his future! "I love when people ask me what I do for a living because my answer is always different depending on the day. Sometimes I'm on tour, sometimes I'm writing, sometimes I'm on set, sometimes I'm just hanging out and being a dad. I've realized that collaborating with good people and creating my own projects is what makes me happy. It might not make me rich but it makes me smile. " - Matt Wells

This week Jimmy Diresta, Bob Clagett and David Picciuto talk about favorite tools and first times.

CLICK HERE to leave a Rating & Review on iTunes Let's face the facts here, sometimes life is about attempting not to fail. Occasionally, we can't let go of  "learning moments" wherein we did a less-than optimal job. Personally, I think this is a mark of someone who is constantly holding themselves to a higher standard. This is a fantastic trait but people like me can take that desire for perfection a little too far. That in itself tends to drag me down. Sometimes I'm my own worst enemy. "Everything in moderation, including moderation." -Julia Childs Keep doing the best you can and keep improving along the way. Recognize and accept your losses as learning moments and set yourself free of the guilt associated with it. Process your situation and move forward. It's the only way to maintain your sanity and continually be the best you can. You're only human you know. Don't forget to try Audible.com. Get a FREE book with your FREE for 30 trial. What's better than FREE knowledge? Reach out and connect, Join our Facebook Group! Keep fighting the good fight. Stay Up, Stay Connected & Stay RAD DADS!

Today I’m going to give you the cure for procrastination. What you’re going to learn: Why you’re procrastinating The 9 steps you can take, today, to overcome procrastination Key Quotes: “Plan to settle for good enough.” “Take small actions and they will build upon each other.” “I am worse off when I put it off.” Read Full Transcript Welcome back you high-achiever you. I'm Kevin Kruse and I'm sharing the truth bombs from my 200 plus interviews with ultra-productive people like Grant Cardone, John Lee Dumas, Neil Patel, James Altucher even Mark Cuban and so many others. Last week I shared why we must stamp out the evils of procrastination. I shared the 4 procrastination personalities. Which one are you by the way? The postponer, the perfectionist, the punisher, or the politician? Today I'm going to give you the cure for procrastination. Listen up, take some notes, share out the wisdom on social media maybe, I'd appreciate that. First I want to send you a quick start action plan that includes and inforgraphic on procrastination and how to cure your procrastination. It's instant download just send a text message. Text the word "Achieve" to the number 44222 or go to the website productivity-podcast.com. I don't want to procrastinate, I want to dive right into it. We need to cure our procrastination for so many reasons. Certainly to help us with just life maintenance like getting our car's oil changed on time. Getting our teeth cleaned every 6 months, and dental hygiene is important. I get most excited about sharing procrastination around our big hairy audacious goals. I want you to finally write that book you've been thinking about. I want you to run that marathon you've been dreaming of. I want you to, whatever jump on Match.com and find the love of your life. Whatever big things that you've been putting off I want you to overcome your procrastination and take action. Here's the 9 steps. First step is just to recognize it. What have you been procrastinating on lately? Are there certain things, tasks, activities that you always procrastinate? What are you weak spots? When do you fall prey to this problem? The second step is to reflect. Why am I procrastinating? What is it about this thing? It is just because it's boring and you'd rather be doing something more fun or is it that you're afraid you are actually going to achieve it and that's going to change your life in some way. This is a challenge to your self-identity or a challenge to your relationship structure. Think about that a little bit. Third, reflect am I over-estimating the unpleasantness involved. Most of procrastination is behavioral, they say about 60%. We think it's going to be more fun to put something off. My own research and others show we are happier when we procrastinate less. A lot of this is in our mind. Things tend to not be as painful or boring as we think they're going to be. Going right along with that is step 4, which is just, know that when you take action on it your mood will automatically change for the better. A lot research on this and I've seen it myself. Sometimes I'm feeling the pressure to turn in a book manuscript and maybe I've got to do a rewrite and all the fun of the first draft is gone now I've just got to cut stuff out and look for grammar and typo problems. It sounds kind of boring I'd rather be off writing the next book. I start to do that negative self-talk. Then once I dive in whether that's doing a second draft of the book or...

So, your marriage isn't doing that great. Is the fighting getting worse? Can't seem to talk to each other without throwing word "daggers" at each other? Have you asked yourself a thousand times how your marriage got to be like this? Well, you're not alone. In fact, according to research, there are more couples in your situation than you may realize. As a marriage therapist, I have witnessed some of the most hurtful and angry arguments in my office. Sometimes I'm part referee, part therapist. But, over the years, and within my own marriage of over 20 years, I have seen the wonders of this one simple rule help dissolve hostilities and repair wounds. I have also come to realize that many of the heated fights that couples have escalate into outright boxing matches because one or both couples are unwilling to try to resolve the argument. Many times the original context of the conflict is forgotten, but ends with hurt and pain due the escalating emotions. Because of the many layers of hurt and wounds, resentment, bitterness, past issues, stubbornness, and self-preservation, many marriages are on the brink of separation or divorce.  But, if applied and practiced regularly by both couples, this one simple rule could save your marriage.   This 1 Simple Act Can Save Your Marriage This one rule is simple, yet can be very difficult to do.  This one simple rule has many facets that must be applied in order for it to save your marriage. Okay, here it is.  The one simple rule that could save your marriage is... FORGIVENESS. Stay with me here. Let me explain what forgiveness is and is not.  Forgiveness is not the same thing as saying "I'm sorry". Forgiveness is much deeper and more impactful than a simple apology. Though, an apology is always a good practice. 5 Facets of Forgiveness: 1. Admitting wrongdoing. Were you wrong in the tone of voice you used? Did you say some hurtful words in the heat of the moment?  Did you act inappropriately? If so, admit that to your spouse. Admitting that you were wrong makes you humble, thus showing your spouse vulnerability. Being vulnerable with one another is an essential ingredient for a healthy marriage. 2. Letting go of resentment. Let's face it, most arguments are fueled by resentment and bitterness. These two emotions create mountains out of mole hills, and they can extend the length of the conflict for days. Forgiveness forces you to let go of the resentment you have, and creates a safe environment to talk about your feelings before things get out of hand. 3. Enabling communication. Forgiveness enables healthy communication. When you feel like you are genuinely being heard then you'll feel emotionally safe. If your spouse is more willing to listen to your feelings, than to express his or her anger, then healthy communication can happen. If the two of you cannot forgive, than you'll continue to go around and around, leaving you exhausted and angrier than before. 4. Promoting peace. Do you ever wonder how strong marriages seem to have all together? Do you see old couples holding hands? Do you think they never have conflict? Of course they have conflict. All marriages have conflict. Their secret is that they are both willing participants of promoting peace in their marriage. To promote peace does not mean giving up or giving in, but it does mean that you desire peace to rule in your marriage and you'll do everything you can to promote it. 5. Living the Golden Rule. Forgiveness is living out the Golden Rule. "Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you." You may recognize that this rule comes from the Bible. The Bible has a lot to say about marriages actually. You should look sometime. This rule is self-explanatory. That's why I like it so much. If you would not want your spouse to do or say something to you, than don't say or do it to your spouse. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful acts of human kindness that we can possibly offer. It's a choice to forgive someone. It's simple, but not easy. But, if you learn the art of forgiveness, both asking for it and extending it to others, you will discover the secret to saving your marriage. Don't let resentment and bitterness prevail in your marriage. It is far better to be quick to resolve your conflict, than to win the argument. If you learn to ask for forgiveness and to extend forgiveness, then you will unlock the secret to saving your marriage. It's never easy, but's it's always worth it!    Was this episode helpful? Is so, I would really appreciate a kind review on iTunes.   Please follow these three steps: 1. Click on the subscribe button 2. Click on the star rating 3. Click on write a review.    Click here to leave a review. (Thank you!)   *** Find out more about John Cordray and emotionally healthy living at www.johncordray.com   Connect with John on Twitter: @JohnPCordray   Blessings to you my friend, John        

I've got a friend.He's aggressive, crude, crass, and very hedonistic. In some ways, I admire him, because he's willing to be a demand for what he wants, and ensure that he gets it.In other ways, he's selfish, destructive, uncaring, callous, and aloof.Sometimes he's a party to have around, but other times, he's a complete disaster and a liability. He'll stay up late with you, go on wild adventures for no reason other than you asked, and get into all kinds of crazy antics.One of the things I love about him is what a badass he is. He's one of those guys that, when you see him, you already feel like there's a little bit of danger to him. You kind of want to protect yourself from him, but at the same time, you're also a little bit excited about the lack of control and the adventure that awaits. Adventure is always a little bit scary, and this guy brings adventure with him.If you haven't guessed it yet, this person is me. Or at least, he's a part of me.He's a part of me that I keep at arm's length, always and forever. I call him the Beast.The Beast is my badboy. He's the hedonistic, destructive, adventurous, exciting, sexy, scary, selfish, daring part of myself.My relationship to the Beast, for as long as I can remember, has been to jail him and control him.I keep him locked up (very effectively), and when he is out, I control him like you wouldn't believe.Sometimes the pendulum shifts though, and instead of keeping him in the cage, the jailor decides "Fuck it, I need a day off", and throws the cage wide open. That's when the beast roams the streets, creating excitement for some people, and eating other people.It's basically just the other side of the same coin. On the one side, the beast is known to be scary and capable of vast destruction, so we have to keep him locked up and under control. On the other side, we simply get fed up of all the control and throw the gates open and thereby prove true the story that he needs to be controlled in the first place.And in truth, it feels pretty good when I let that cage wide open. I'm certainly more relaxed, at first, because I've let go of all the control. And partying is usually a lot of fun. At first. But then, there's the cleanup the next day. And I have to confront the aftermath of what I've created (sometimes when I'm lucky, all that means is a hangover. Sometimes I'm not lucky).And after a while, partying loses its sheen, because I'm a man with a vision and commitment, and I actually want to create during this ridiculous cosmic lottery that I won called "Being Born".My coach pointed out to me my tendency toward trying to create the next action to take, as opposed to taking a look at my relationship to the Beast, and addressing that.Taking the next action, might look kind of like this:"Oh wow, there's my desire to go and party. And look, it's showing up in the middle of the day. Better squash that thought immediately. Let's find something to work on" (the Beast meanwhile, roams around his cage making noise, as I continue to do my best to complete copious amounts of work and ignore what's showing up). This is the type of action that's consistent with controlling and jailing the Beast.Or it might look like:"Sweet! Letting go of all this control actually sounds pretty rad. Let's fuck off for the rest of the day and open up that cage". This action is consistent with the other side of that relationship — open the gates, and deal with the problems later. It's Miller Time!*You can, hopefully, see the cyclical nature of this. One leads perfectly into the other.So instead, my real work lies in taking a look at this underlying relationship, deconstructing that, and then creating something entirely different.The first step for me in that journey is simply noticing what happens when the Beast shows up. When he rouses from his slumber, what happens? How do I react? What feels automatic for me?This is hard work for me, because it doesn't really feel like hard work. It feels more like navel gazing.For me and my people, that's always something we struggle with in transformational work. Everything is meant to be really hard work involving a lot of doing, so any practice like simply noticing our thoughts and what shows up feels a lot like cheating. I'd much rather figure out how to build a better cage, or how to justify the carnage left in the Beast's wake — but I know both of those roads very well, and I know where they lead back to (right here).It looks like the theme for me right now is signing off without a clear moral or message. I'm alright with that if you are**.It's nice to see you again.  * I do not condone drinking Miller. Drink good beer instead.** I'm also alright with it if you aren't.

Sometimes I'm puzzled by Adobe Illustrator, but the Creative Cloud version has some features designers will like. People who have upgraded to Windows 8.1 have generally had success, but some surprising problems await, too. In Short Circuits, this is definitely the year of the tablet, Facebook allows and then drops a beheading, and a couple of well known tech writers leave their newspapers.

I wrote "Sometimes I'm Lonely" when I was about 20.

Better to use the Promo Code DIRTY50 if you want to get a 50% OFF on just about ANY item at thehttp://AdamEve.com checkout. Plus FREE Porn DVD's, a FREE Sexy Gift, and FREE shipping.Better get there for this is just a short time delio.I love pleasuring myself. Lot of guys think us girls don't do it or don't do it as often as them. But let me be the first to tell you that we do. And no one knows how to get me off as good as me. I never know when that feeling will come over me; that little tingle on my clit. The sipping wetness between my legs. Sometimes, I'm in my office at work. Sometimes, I'm watching a movie at home. Sometimes I'm even at a grocery shopping. I'm especially horny right after a bikini wax. I go to this Brazilian Woman, when I strip off my pants and underwear and lay on her table and I touch my bare feet together then draw them up so my feet are still touching but my knees are as far apart as they'll go. She spreads the hot wax all over my labia with a couple of rips, every single here in my pussy is gone except for trend little V. When I leave my pussy lips are still stinging and the totally-exposed baby bare skin is pink and tender. But my clit is so sensitive and freed from all that hair that it just screams for attention. After I get waxed, my bare clit robs on my panties, by the time I get home, I have to do something about it.Listen more as I pleasure myself to my heart's content.

A Choctaw freedman in the old Indian Territory, Wallis Willis, wrote "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" ,in what is now Choctaw County, near the County seat of Hugo, Oklahoma sometime before 1862. He was inspired by the Red River, which reminded him of the Jordan River and of the Prophet Elijah's being taken to heaven by a chariot (2 Kings 2:11). Many sources claim that this song and "Steal Away" (also composed by Willis) had lyrics that referred to the Underground Railroad, the resistance movement that helped slaves escape from the South to the North and Canada.Alexander Reid, a minister at the Old Spencer Academy, Choctaw boarding school, heard Willis singing these two songs and transcribed the words and melodies. He sent the music to the Jubilee Singers of Fisk University in Nashville, Tennessee. The Jubilee Singers popularized the songs during a tour of the United States and Europe.TRADITIONAL LYRICSChorus:Swing low, sweet chariotComing for to carry me home,Swing low, sweet chariot,Coming for to carry me home.I looked over Jordan, and what did I seeComing for to carry me home?A band of angels coming after me,Coming for to carry me home.ChorusSometimes I'm up, and sometimes I'm down,(Coming for to carry me home)But still my soul feels heavenly bound.(Coming for to carry me home)ChorusThe brightest day that I can say,(Coming for to carry me home)When Jesus washed my sins away.(Coming for to carry me home)ChorusIf I get there before you do,(Coming for to carry me home)I'll cut a hole and pull you through.(Coming for to carry me home)ChorusIf you get there before I do,(Coming for to carry me home)Tell all my friends I'm coming too.(Coming for to carry me home)Chorus"Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" is a historic American Negro spiritual. The first recording was in 1909, by the Fisk Jubilee Singers of Fisk University.In 2002, the Library of Congress honored the song as one of 50 recordings chosen that year to be added to the National Recording Registry. It was also included in the list of Songs of the Century, by the Recording Industry Association of America and the National Endowment for the Arts.© 2012 Shiloh Worship Music COPY FREELY;This Music is copyrighted to prevent misuse, however,permission is granted for non-commercial copying-Radio play permitted- www.shilohworshipmusic.com

Aprender ingles gratis con La Mansion del Ingles. Un podcast para mejorar la gramatica, el vocabulario y la pronunciacion del ingles. Una leccion del ingles con ejemplos y ejercicios. Learn English free with podcasts from La Mansion del Ingles. Improve your grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation. This English lesson contains examples and exercises. Hello again and thank you for downloading this Mansión Inglés podcast. This is podcast number 46 recorded for February 2012.  Este mes, en el nivel, básico los adverbios y las expresiones de frecuencia. At intermediate level some more common collocations, and at advanced level idioms and advanced collocations. There's business vocabulary, dictation and many more activities to improve your English and take it to the next level.   En los podcasts mensuales hablamos de los temas, vocabulario y ejercicios que salen en nuestro cuaderno mensual. Así podáis practicar la pronunciación y repasar el material del cuaderno. Si quieres recibir gratis el cuaderno cada mes, ver la trascripción de este podcast o leer los anteriores, vete a mansioningles.com y sigue los enlaces en la página principal.  Ok, en el nivel básico este mes, hemos estudiado los adverbios de frecuencia - Adverbs of frequency, y hemos dicho que los adverbios de frecuencia indican la frecuencia con que se realiza la acción. Vamos a ver si te acuerdas los adverbios de frecuencia en inglés. Primero voy a decirlos en español y quiero que los dices en inglés antes que los digo yo. Luego, repítelos para practicar la pronunciación. ¿Listo? Are you ready? OK.       siempre - always casi siempre - almost always normalmente - usually, normally a menudo - often a veces - sometimes raremente - rarely casi nunca - hardly ever nunca - never ¡Muy bien! Very good. Now, Remember - acuerdate que  los adverbios estos generalmente, se colocan los adverbios de frecuencia antes del verbo principal: ¿Cómo se dice en inglés "Usualmente me levanto a las 8."? - I usually get up at 8. - repite: I usually get up at 8. ¿Cómo se dice en inglés "Siempre me levanto temprano."? - I always get up early. - repite: I always get up early. ¿Cómo se dice en inglés "Nunca me levanto tarde."? - I never get up late. - repite: I never get up late. Nota que  los adverbios de frecuencia se ponen después del verbo "to be": I am never late - nunca llego tarde. Con la contracción; I am cambia a I'm -  I'm never late. Repíte: I'm never late. I'm always late. I'm sometimes late. También se puede encontrar en posición final o inicial: Normally, I get up at 8. Repíte: Normally, I get up at 8. I get up at 8, normally. Repíte: I get up at 8, normally. I'm late sometimes. Repíte: I'm late sometimes. Sometimes I'm early. Repíte: Sometimes I'm early. Good. OK. Ahora vamos a repasar algunas  expresiones de frecuencia - y como antes, voy a decirlos en español y quiero que los dices en inglés antes que los digo yo. Luego, repítelos para practicar la pronunciación. OK. Ready? - ¿Listo? una vez a la semana - once a week - once a week dos veces al día - twice a day  - twice a day  tres o cuatro veces al mes - three or four times a month - three or four times a month todos los viernes - every Friday - every Friday cada dos horas - every two hours - every two hours todos los días - every day - every day Muchas veces utilizamos los adverbios y las expresiones de frecuencia para contestar a la pregunta "How often........?" - ¿Con qué frecuencia.....? Por ejemplo: How often do you see her? - ¿Con qué frecuencia la ves? / ¿cada cuánto la ves? - How often do you see her? Para contestar se puede decir:         - I see her three or four times a month.         - I see her every day.         - I often see her.         - I hardly ever see her. Escucha y repite algunos ejemplos con estas expresiones en un contexto: I always have toast for breakfast I never drink beer. Do you usually go by bus? She doesn’t often go to discos. I rarely listen to music. She hardly ever watches TV. How often do you go out? I rarely buy clothes. They’re sometimes late. He's never happy. I’m always late for work. I never have breakfast in bed. I almost always use public transport. We hardly ever go out. What time do you usually finish work? I’m never hungry in the morning. I don’t often read the newspaper. The food here is usually very good. I always take sugar in my coffee. Very good. Well done! - ¡Bien hecho! In the intermediate section this month we looked at some common collocations in English. Let's see - vamos a ver - let's see what you remember. A party. Do we say take, do or have a party? - Have a party. Repeat: I'm having a party next Saturday. So, do we make an example of somebody, take an example of somebody or do an example of some one? - The collocation is make an example of somebody or some one. The judge made an example of the graffiti artist and sent him to prison for three months. What about a favour - un favor? Is it do a favour, make a favour, take a favour or have a favour? - Do a favour. Repeat: Can you do me a favour? Hey, do me a favour and hold this for me. Now, do we say have friends, do friends or make friends with someone? - we say make friends with. Repeat: I made a lot of friends in London. What about investment? do an investment, take an investment or make an investment? - It's to make an investment. Repeat: That's a good investment to make. ¿y las listas? Do we do lists or make lists? Make lists. Repeat. I need to make a shopping list. Make a list of things to do tomorrow. Make a list of new vocabulary. A mistake - do or make or take? Make. We make mistakes. We do our best not to make mistakes. Repeat: Do your best - Don't make mistakes. What's the worst mistake you've ever made? Money? do we make or do money? Make money. We do business to make money. And finally, a noise - un ruido - do, make, take, have a noise? We say make a noise. Shhhhh! Don't make a noise. You're dad's asleep. Repeat: He makes a lot of noise. - He's very noisy. Why are you making so much noise? Ahora un anuncio, así que puedes hacer fast forward si no quieres escuchar. Pero no lo hagas. You should know about a special offer we have on our product page at mansioningles.com. The Complete Pack, el pack ahorro completo, de La Mansión del Inglés. ALL of our cds at a fanstastic price. All 8 of our CDs plus a free cd of 100 software programs to help you learn English. All this for only 99 Euros. You save 112 Euros, and we pay the postage wherever you are in the world. Now that’s a good deal. Es una oferta muy buena. Para ver más detalles, haz click on the cd icon on the right side of the home page at mansioningles.com. There were more idioms this month in the advanced section. Let's see if you can remember the idioms if I say the translation in Spanish. For example, what's the English idiom for Lo que fácil viene, fácil se va. - Easy come, easy go. - Repeat: Easy come, easy go. What about, No hay mas de temer que una mujer despechada - It's quite difficult this one, and it has the words hell and the verb to scorn, which means desdeñar o despreciar. Do you remember?   Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. Fury is ira or furia. - Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. What about this one, Procura lo mejor, espera lo peor y toma lo que viniere. - Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Now that's what I call bloody good advice; Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Next is an idiom that my dad uses very often: Si vale la pena hacerlo, vale la pena hacerlo bien. - But my Dad is English of course and he says; Son, If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well. Repeat: If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well. This next idiom is quite common, it's El que la sigue la consigue. Do you remember? If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Repeat: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Ya que estamos en el baile, bailemos. - The English equivalent has the words penny and pound in it. - In for a penny, in for a pound. Repeat: In for a penny, in for a pound. El mundo es un panuelo. - No! we don't say the world is a handkerchief. Yes, I know panuelo is handkerchief in English, but the idiom translates as "It's a small world!" or "What a small world!" I met my next door neighbour when I was on holiday in Kenya. What a small world! - It's a small world, isn't it? And finally we have the idiom that my mum always used when she asked me to tidy up my bedroom, put my clothes away and my games in the cupboard. Of course I didn't do it and she said; Es como hablar a la pared.- Which in English is; It's like talking to a brick wall. Repeat: It's like talking to a brick wall. Listen and repeat the idioms again: Easy come, easy go. Hell has no fury like a woman scorned. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. In for a penny, in for a pound. It's a small world!  It's like talking to a brick wall. Also in the advanced section we had some common collocations. For example to take someone hostage. To take someone hostage means to keep, or retain a person or group of people until a specific demand is met (hostage in Spanish is rehén). Repeat: They robbed the bank and took 23 people hostage. To a have a grudge against someone means tenerle/guardarle rencilla/rencor a algn. We also say to bear a grudge or hold a grudge against someone. Repeat: Why are you holding a grudge against her. You should forgive her. If you make a mockery of something you ridiculizar algo He made a mockery of the meeting by dressing up as a clown. Do you remember how to say hacer daño in English? To do harm. Repeat: Those spiders won't do you any harm. They are completely harmless. To make a stop means to have a break in the middle of a journey. Repeat: Can we make a stop soon I'm dying to go to the toilet. How do we say hacer una fortuna en ingés? To make a fortune. So we make money and if we make a lot of money we can make a fortune. Repeat: He made a fortune out of re-selling old coat hangers. To take the lead means llevar/tomar la delantera Repeat: Alonso has taken the lead in the last lap of the race. We need to take the lead in the software market. To do well means tener éxito (opposite = to do badly). Repeat: He's doing very well in New York, you know. I'm so sorry to hear your company's doing badly. ¿Como se dice hacer un modelo? - to make a model. Repeat: Can you make me a plastic model of the project? What about research - investigar, hacer investigaciones. Do we say do research or make research? - do research. Repeat: I'm doing scientific research for my degree. - Which web sites do you use when you do research? In the Business English section this month we looked at some business English vocabulary. Do you remember what you have to fill out or complete when you apply for a job or a course? It's a special kind of form - an application form. Repeat: Application form. To fill out an application form. The phrasal verb to fill out means rellenar. Sometimes you hear fill in. Fill in a form or fill out a form. You usually send your CV with an application form. How do you say 'puesto de trabajo' in English? - a post or a position. You apply for a post or a position in a company. Repeat. I'm applying for the post of office manager. Another word for company (empresa) is firm - F-I-R-M. The Firm was a good film starring Tom Cruise in which he was a young lawyer. Tom Cruise joined a successful law firm and Gene Hackman was his boss. It was a good film. The Firm - The company. Repeat: How much is your firm paying you? What's the name of your firm? What does your firm do? What firm do you work for? Do you work for a large firm? If your application is successful. If your CV is impressive, you may be asked to attend an interview - una entrevista - Repeat: to attend an interview. Can you attend an interview next Thursday? When can you come in for an interview? Another way to say “Why did you hand in your notice?” is  “Why did you resign?” When you hand in your notice or give notice you formally tell your company that you intend to leave. Some firms ask you to give 2 weeks notice, some firms require you to tell them one month before you leave. They require one months notice. Job candidates are often asked to provide references from previous teachers or employers. A reference is written by a person who can write about the skills and qualifications that you have for the job you are applying for. A person who lives outside a city and travels into the centre to work every day is called a commuter. It's sometimes quite expensive to live in the city centre, so many people live in the suburbs outside the city and travel in to work. They commute to work on a daily basis. When I lived in London, I had a 45-minute commute into the city where my office was. Regular annual increases in your salary are called increments - increments. and another way to say “What’s your job?” is "What do you do for a living?” or just "What do you do?" Repeat: What do you do? - What do you do for a living?” If an American asks you "What do you make?" He or she is asking about your salary - How much do you earn? What do you make? but this question is not very polite unless you know someone quite well. The extra things you receive in addition to your salary, such as a company car, health benefits and travel expenses, are called fringe benefits or perks. Repeat: What perks do you get with your job? What are the fringe benefits? Some companies offer such perks as a company car, dental treatment, travel costs and they pay for you to stay in the best 5 star hotels. As a teacher, my perks include a free pen! Well, that’s it for this month, so thank you very much for your time, and thank you for being part of the community of La Mansión del Inglés. Remember, If you want to contact us you can find us on Facebook. Just search Facebook for La Mansión del Inglés and join our growing community of fans. Or send an email to: mansionteachers@yahoo.es. You can also follow us on Twitter. Our Twitter name is MansionTwit. También tenemos dos aplicaciones para el nivel principiante y el nivel básico a la venta en la tienda de iTunes. Para encontrarlas, busca imansionauto. El precio de cada aplicación es de 2,39 euros. Until next month then, take care, keep practising and taking your English to the next level! Bye for now! The music in this month’s podcast was by Revolution Void, the album was The Politics of Desire and the track was Outer Orbit.            

(1) Life is not Fair (2) God is not Fair---God is Gracious (3) If God is generous with others, shouldn't we rejoice? (4) None of us deserves God's Grace (5) Why Wait to receive God's grace

(1) Life is not Fair (2) God is not Fair---God is Gracious (3) If God is generous with others, shouldn't we rejoice? (4) None of us deserves God's Grace (5) Why Wait to receive God's grace