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ExplicitNovels
Cáel and the Manhattan Amazons: Part 10

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2024


With all the fighting  and  sex, my work reviews should suck. In 25 parts, edited from the works of FinalStand. Listen and subscribe to the ► Podcast at Connected..  “Saving a life isn't about worthiness. It is about instinct and guts.” (Friday) Since I liked to think that life encouraging me with bruises, punctures, cuts and concussions made me smarter, I had scheduled some eleven o'clock gym time most of the week so to avoid the whole lunch and after-work crowds. Aya and I went to the 'Others' gym, which was nice, but wasn't as complete as the Full/Pure-blood one. Most notable was the lack of weapons. Aya's and my trip to the 'Other' gym on Friday hit a snag. Aya clued in on the fact that I was avoiding the Pure-blood facility. We talked about it. I explained I wasn't a Pure-blood. Her counter-argument was she was and I should confront my fears. Yes, I lost an argument with a nine year old. I have talked a nineteen year old, promise-ring virgin into nameless sex in an airport stall. Aya was an unassailable wall of resolve that dashed all of my ploys into so many useless words. I found myself entering the real 'No Man's Land' twice in less than a week. Not only was I hard-headed, I was also obviously soft-hearted. At the last moment, I imagined I had a reprieve. I didn't have to tell Aya how I got in the first time; grabbing an open door. I could swipe my card, have it rejected and move on to safer pursuits. Sure enough, my card failed. Aya's didn't; mother-puss-bucket! Upon entering, the twenty, or so women in the place looked at me; and Aya. I recognized somebody. It was Constanza, Elsa's chief evil henchwoman. Our eyes met. She smiled in a way that assured me she vividly recalled our last encounter. It should be of no surprise that I insulted her somewhere in the process. It's how I roll. I smiled back at Constanza and gave her a nod before setting up Aya and me for our workout routine. Constanza was not mollified in the slightest. She was patiently waiting; for something. I decided that Aya would be my sole focus and banished the other women from my mind. The munchkin could tell the difference and relayed that to me with her happiness. After twenty minutes, she decided her time with the machines was done and her minutes were better spent resting against, or sitting on, me. My cock was reminding me that it was approaching 36 torturous hours without sex. It was also pointing out that there were thirty available, sexually inquisitive women achingly close. I reminded my penis that being relocated was probably as fun-less as it sounded. That bought me some time. We finished up our sojourn by walking the wall, going over the weapon racks. Mainly we went over the ones various members of her family were proficient with. Aya still had problems with even the most basic ones. The words 'let me help you' spilled out of my mouth. There were two problems; Aya's tiny size and the fact that all the weapons were very dangerous. Even the leaf-shaped short blade was too heavy for her so we ended up screwing around instead. I picked up two Iron Age style axes. The blades were more of a thick wedge than the broad axe heads of medieval fame. They were less effective in delivering damage, compensating somewhat in their reduced weight. I've convinced a Jewish girl to have sex in a synagogue despite me not being Jewish yet this child was twirling me around her pinkie finger. I was entertaining her with some exotic, flamboyant moves wielding two axes while Aya clapped her hands and giggled when I felt a stranger approach me on the sparring mat. I had been hopping around keeping all my weight on my right leg until that moment. I turned to face the woman, putting my left behind me yet while keeping it firmly on the ground. I also drew my axes up, crossing them over my chest, blades pointing past my shoulders. "I have never seen that technique before," she addressed me. That and what followed was all in the Amazon tongue. "It is more of a fantasy creation. I had a love affair with pseudo-archaic movies that always do the crazy, two-weapon stuff so my mentor helped me create this method," I explained. "Has it ever been tested?" she continued. "I am Cáel Nyilas," I answered, "and yes, my mentor preferred using a poleaxe, or a mace/shield combo against me." "Oneida," she seemed amused. "We will see how well you have been tested." "May I request a favor?" I tried to keep my cool. She pulled out one of those damn spears. "Yes," she seemed intrigued. "Can you call someone over to sit with Aya? I don't want her to accidently set foot on the mat," I beseeched. "Drusilla, please aid me," Oneida summoned an observer. The woman had heard my appeal and settled beside the nervous, kneeling Aya. "Cáel, please be careful," Aya pleaded. "Who me?" I chuckled. "I'm impervious to all man-made contrivances." "Every weapon in this room was crafted by women," Oneida snorted. "That would certainly explain my full-body bruising and the hole in my leg," I grinned back. I caught Oneida trying to sneak closer to me. My axes came to a ready position and I charged. I was sure some sort of medic would punish me for this later. She got off two jabs then I was all over her. I knew how to fight a two and a half meter spear. She had no clue how to plot out two incoming weapons with an extra meter of reach. The first time I drove her off the mat. The second time, I got inside her guard and clocked her in the temple with the back end of an axe head. I quickly hopped back three paces, knelt and put my axes on the mat. The rush to get me was stillborn. A few did come to stand over me while two others checked on Oneida who quickly came around. "What happened?" were Oneida's first, shaky words. "He hit you," one of her companions answered. "With what; the Moon?" Oneida mumbled as they helped her up. "My ears are still ringing." "My turn," Constanza announced. She went for a spear, blade, and round leather-covered, wicker shield. "Give Cáel a moment to rest," Aya appealed. "He has been fighting longer." No such luck. I was halfway to exhausted as well. Fighting with two weapons pretty much means just that; twice the fight. Kinetically speaking, I was burning around 80% more calories than my one weapon opponents. I was wielding axes, not fighting sticks after all. In my favor was a deep wellspring of stamina and my Will reinforced by my desire to not upset Aya. What little time I was given wasn't out of charity. A second Amazon was joining the struggle. I could back off, but I felt Constanza would enforce an intense level of groveling solely to grind up Aya emotionally. She didn't hate Aya. Aya was an avenue to really hurt me and we both knew it. For a second, when I hobbled off the mat, there were chuckles. I had fled. That ended as I began retrieving some select weapons from the wall racks. Sword harnesses came in two varieties; belted and shoulder slings. I took two shoulder slings and two more axes. I affixed my two 'spare' axes with leather straps. As I turned to the mat, Constanza had decided to be clever. She and her buddy had closed to within three meters of the edge. They would box me in as soon as my second foot touched down on the mat. "Please back up," I requested. Constanza smiled with supreme confidence. I smiled back. This was going to be dangerous, agonizing and unorthodox; totally me. I began backing up. "Cáel," Aya murmured. "Don't let them hurt you." "Running away?" Constanza sneered. "Aya, wickedness is the expedience of the weak," I nodded her way. "Do you think I can win?" "Of course," Aya sighed happily. "I am by your side." I laughed. I charged. The Amazons did the precisely wrong thing; the stepped up to meet me. You keep thrusting weapons, like spears, aimed at the central part of the body. This allows you to deviate your projection anywhere from the thighs to the face. This does imply you know where the central part of the enemy will be. This was not playschool. Real weapons; real damage; real death. They didn't have to kill me. It didn't mean they wouldn't. I leapt. I didn't leap at them, I leapt over them. Let's not forget I'm pretty freaking strong. My left leg shot-gunned pain straight to the brain but held it together. I sailed over their thrusting spear points, flipped my axes down so that they would impact the mats first. The flat tops of the axe heads impacted the mat and my body rose up and then flipped over them. This gave me an extra meter and a half on my back flip. I turned that maneuver into summersault, giving three more meters of space. I rolled over to my side and rode the momentum to my feet, facing my adversaries. Now they were the ones in the corner of the mat with their enemy pinning them in and I wasn't done yet. With all my might, I hurled my right-handed axe at Constanza's companion. She did exactly what I thought she'd do. She saw the throw halfway in motion and raised her shield up; right where I wanted it. Amazon shields aren't what most people think shields are today. They think medieval knights, or more appropriately, the shields of the Greek hoplites. The Amazons date back 700 years before those Greeks and they weren't heavy infantry anyway. Amazons moved light and fast. Consequently, their shields were light; wicker constructs with layers of leather stretched over the frame. Great for deflecting light weapons; not so great for what I was about to do. The steel axe head shattered the top half of the wicker frame. It saved her life, but now she had this useless object strapped to her arm. It also had the added bonus of knocking her back while Constanza engaged me alone. Her first jab forced me to jump back, but I still was able to draw my first spare axe. My luck with women held up a little longer. The other Amazon hesitated just long enough to remove her shattered shield. Alone with Constanza, I attacked. She thrust, I captured her spear head between my axe handles and yanked her forward. We kicked out simultaneously. Her off-balanced strike brushed past my abused left leg. My right kick hit her shield and knocked her down. Her grip on the spear slipped and I propelled it somewhere behind me. Constanza pulled off a reverse summersaulted while drawing her short blade. A really nice move. Unfortunately, it moved her away from the chick with the spear, who hesitated again. This time she took the thrown axe straight to the head; back end impacting. I didn't want to kill her. Constanza anticipated my next action. It came down to position, distance, and stride length and they all favored me. We raced to the downed companion. My left-handed axes flat side slammed into her forehead, rendering her unconscious, and I kicked her spear off the mat; out of bounds. I slowly backed away from Constanza and readied my second spare axe. "Retire from the field," I panted. I was physically failing fast. "Why should I?" Constanza glared. "You are about to fall over." "Aya won't let me fall," I stared her down. "You couldn't beat me with a companion and a spear, Constanza. Do you really think a shield and sword will work any better." "Let's find out," she charged. I really needed the short breather to recover somewhat. The short Amazon blade was an excellent close-in weapon. I never let her get close enough to use it. Tandem axes allowed me to shred her shield while keeping her at arm's length. My axe bit into her upper left arm right above the elbow. Constanza hissed instead of screaming. She did stagger back. I hopped back three steps, knelt and placed my axes on the mat at my side. "No!" Constanza howled. She came at me while I remained still. Her hand drew back for a killing thrust. I waited. Sparing my life didn't stop her. The looks of her fellow Amazons held back her wrath. They wouldn't stop her from slaughtering me, but that was exactly what it was; a butchery. Two things occurred to me: Aya was showing remarkably better control today than on Saturday, and I figured out a way to sleep with Buffy tonight. Being killed? Nah, worry about the things you have control over. "Constanza, he was instructing me," Oneida stood up. She took up Constanza's discarded spear and stepped toward us. What disturbed the gathering was how Oneida held it; sidewise, not ready for combat. "You do not intimidate me, Oneida," Constanza growled. "You misunderstand," Oneida intoned. "I would do this out of shame and despair." "I will shear my hair, burn it and take myself to the cliffs to die childless," she continued. "I leave whatever contempt you might possess for me to be conveyed to my House when they learn your actions have killed one of their last breeding females. The death of some male will not concern them. My death will. The shame I bear for killing a teacher will certainly interest many of our people." "You wouldn't dare," Constanza scoffed. The spear dropped. Fuck that noise. I snatched the last quarter of the shaft before it hit the ground. No one seemed to understand what to do about that. Apparently my reaction was unique. "Yay!" Aya cheered. "He's the best Daddy ever," she loudly announced to the crowd. "Oneida, my apology, but Katrina has put her faith in me and the New Directive," I adlibbed. "I am here to aid the recovery of your people, not diminish them. For the sake of Katrina's honor, please reconsider." "Cáel Nyilas," Oneida smiled sadly, "this is not a pledge that can be retracted." "Ah; doesn't it only take effect when the weapon hits the ground?" I struggled. "I mean, otherwise dropping the weapon would be pointless; right?" I repeat, apparently this had never come up before. "This is kind of awkward. Can someone take this?" I meant the spear. I was worn to the bone and holding a long spear from one end, with one hand. Quickly calls went out to Hayden as well as a few department heads. "Constanza," one of the Amazons spoke up, "if you attack the male, you will be actively sealing Oneida's Death Pledge. Far fewer of us will understand that." "How is it that you are so damn lucky?" Constanza growled at me. "You are asking this of a man, on his knees before you with your sword at his throat?" I countered. "Lucky isn't you sparing my life. Lucky is me never having heard of this place; Except for Aya. She makes the rest of this hellish experience worthwhile." "Best Daddy ever," Aya chirped. "Hayden is on her way," a different Amazon called out. Already a passel of newcomers were swarming the scene. Truly curious was the group looking mournfully at Oneida. One stepped forward. "Male, do you need something? Water?" she asked. I gave it some thought. "Could you sing?" I requested. "A nice soothing song of hope would be nice." Blink. Like all panicked moments, nothing came to mind for several seconds. Oneida's people rapidly bantered about some names then the questioner began singing. By the third song I was crying and shaking like a leaf. Constanza had fallen back enough to get her arm tended to. Twice Aya had tried to get me, lending me the tiniest bit more strength. Wisely, her minder kept her away from the possible conflict. There was a whole different level of commotion when Hayden arrived this time. "To bear a weapon in my presence is Death, Cáel," Hayden stated. "I apologize for being a disappointing Male," I grunted. "Pass on my regrets to Katrina." "Drop the weapon and you will be spared. You will only be beaten," Hayden gave a hint of a smile. "If I drop it, she dies," I hissed. The ache in my right arm was exceeding that in my left leg. "I'm afraid I will have to decline," I concluded. "If I kill you, the spear will drop and she'll die anyway," Hayden pointed out. "Sucks to be both of us, I guess," I gasped. "Oneida, step on the spear. Push it down," Hayden ordered. Hush. Oneida raised her foot. "You are stepping in the wrong place," I huffed. She looked at me. My eyes flashed to the short side between my grip and my side. "Do you really think you can hold it up?" she questioned. "I know I'll fail if you step anywhere else," I tried to grin. "No matter what happens, you will die," she murmured. "Not my chief concern right now," I grunted. "Hurry." Oneida put her foot on the short end. "It will help your balance if you place a hand on his shoulder," Hayden noted. We both flashed Hayden a shocked look. Oneida stepped on the spear. It trembled and sunk down, barely millimeters off the mat. Her hand came to rest on the crux of my neck and shoulder. I felt my body about to tip over. I was at my limit. I almost missed the gasps whispering around the assembly. Oneida had her body off the ground. Hayden lowered herself so that she could witness there was a distance between the spear and the earth. "The spirits have not heard your pledge, Oneida," Hayden declared as she regained her regal posture. "I suggest you weigh your words with greater care in the future. Retrieve your spear." She turned and started to leave the gym. Oneida dismounted and snatched up her spear. "What of the male?" one of the spectators inquired. I didn't care. I had fallen on my back. "At a moment of such great spiritual significance; the ancestral rejection of a Death Pledge, the action of any one male does not concern me," Hayden remarked coldly. It wasn't praise. It was a 'don't fuck with him'. Around me a cultural conundrum was taking place. Not only could Oneida's house not thank me because I was a male, they couldn't thank me because, by Hayden's decree, there was no life to be saved. Oneida bent over me on one knee. "You really shouldn't be so eager to toss your life away, Cáel," she smiled warmly. I was essentially immobile. "You have the most gorgeous blue-grey eyes," I moaned. "You are thinking about that at a time like this?" she snorted. Her relatives were shockingly amused as well. "No time like the present. Besides, in 75 days you can all go out to some nature preserve and hunt me down with non-lethal weapons. Great way to spend a weekend." I heard an authoritative cough. I looked up from my still prone position to see Katrina. "Cancel that Oneida. I'm about to get relocated to Antarctica where I'll be tasked with teaching penguins how to arm wrestle," I sighed. "Cáel, why do you think I'd be so nice to you after all the hell you cause me on a daily basis?" Katrina looked all menacing. "You recall how much I like winter sports?" I pleaded. "Hey; wait. I was good on Friday. Wasn't I good on Friday?" "I don't recall you having a good day yet, but I may double check. Can you stand?" Katrina asked. "Is that a question, or veiled order?" I muttered. "If the former; no. If that latter, I'll die trying." Using a combination of my right leg and left arm, I managed to struggle my way upright. By that time, Aya had circled the practice mat and was at Katrina's side. "He was very brave," Aya insisted. One of Oneida's senior women coughed. "Nothing happened so nothing has changed," Katrina stated. It was a lie and both sides knew it. It was the whole loyalty/martial valor thing. Inside their closed little minds a balancing act had taken place; my worthlessness as a male against Oneida's value to her people. Aya was easy to discount as she was of Katrina's house. I had no clue who Oneida was yet still rallied to her when she desperately needed help; Hayden's obfuscation be damned. Yeah, Oneida had been young and foolish. Her challenge had been given to make Constanza back off. When Constanza called her bluff, pride took over. Oneida had been foolhardy and overly status conscious. Constanza had played Russian roulette with their House's future and almost 'won'. She'd be wise to avoid darkened corridors for the next few weeks too. There was not only Oneida's house but the houses allied to it to worry about despite Hayden's expunging of the official record. For me, it was time to be dragged over to my cute doctor friend. I had been slashed twice by the spears during my jump and not noticed it; adrenaline no doubt. "Congratulations, you and Aya are forbidden to work. I thought keeping you in the building would be safer. I'm mature enough to admit I was wrong," Katrina conceded. "No place is safe for you, or from you. I'm sending you home, under guard." "Can I choose Buffy?" I perked up. Katrina arched an eyebrow. "I also need something," I kept slaloming down toward Hell. "I need a six hour dispensation from you on the whole sex thing with employees." "Oh Goddess," Katrina laughed. "What part of me wanting you to stay alive have you missed?" "Are you going to sleep with my Mommy now?" Aya grinned. "No," Katrina answered for me, "he's going to play with Buffy." Right on the money. One scary-smart woman without a doubt. "Best of all, I'll let you assign Buffy to be your security for the night and you can tell her the good news when you get home. Aya, that means Cáel does, not you." "Yes Aunt Katrina," Aya moaped. She wanted me to be banging Caitlyn; her Momma. We would make love, Caitlyn would take me as her mate and I'd be Aya's Daddy for real. She'd kill me a month later for my twelfth indiscretion. I'm not a fortuneteller. I'm a bookie and I knew the odds of me staying faithful were a sucker's bet. The only questions were how many and with which one Caitlyn would kill me with. I wasn't sure how to break that reality to Aya. After getting bandaged/tortured my doctor, cleaned up and redressed, I managed to survive the rest of the day without catastrophe. (Later) "Cáel, do you realize that you've been wounded more than most Security Detail recruits do during their basic training?" Violet teased me. Buffy was too furious for coherent speech. "It isn't his fault, Buffy," Aya pleaded. "He wasn't seducing a woman, or anything like that. Oneida tried to sex him up all on her own." Huh? "Constanza's nipples were very aroused and we all know what she wanted." I really was worrying about the twisted sexual education Aya was getting. She knew the terms, but was missing out on the complete meaning of what she was saying. "Oneida? Who the hell is Oneida?" Buffy growled. "She's one of the new hires with Acquisitions," Violet answered. Brian Fung's group. "What were you making eyes at her for?" Buffy snarled possessively. "He didn't," Katrina swept into the office. "She made a Death Pledge and Cáel, acting as a vessel for our Ancestors, refused it; so the youngest breeding female in House Arinniti gets to keep living." I grunted because I knew who Arinniti was, or had been. "Vessels for the Ancestors?" Violet gasped. "Arinniti; that name rings a bell," Buffy mumbled. "She's one of the twenty founding bloodlines," Aya gladly provided. Katrina took her seat behind her desk and regarded me with something between amusement, annoyance, and pride. Oh, and sex. "Violet, Cáel held a weapon in the presence of Hayden; the spear that Oneida had dropped to seal her pledge. If he was a male acting alone, he would have to be killed. Is that the course of action you wish to recommend to the High Priestess?" Katrina suggested. "Ancestors work for me," Violet gulped. "You can't take back a Death Pledge," Buffy turned to Katrina. "It is a Death Pledge." "It appears you can if Cáel is in the room," Katrina smirked. "Best Daddy ever!" Aya yipped. "He caught the spear before it hit the ground and held it until Hayden came by and read the signs from the Ancestors that Cáel was supposed to retract Oneida's words. Hayden even had Oneida stand on the spear, but Da; Cáel didn't let it fall." "Maybe the Ancestors think Cáel is sexy too," Aya added. Groan. "They had better not," Buffy spun back to me threateningly. Fine, if some undead man-haters thought I was hot; sigh; that might entail there would be no rest for me even in the afterlife. "Buffy, do you have plans for this weekend?" I glared. "Why?" she snapped. "Great. Katrina, I want Buffy to be my bodyguard for this weekend," I looked to my boss. Aya almost slipped up, but bit her lip to hold herself back. "Fine," Katrina grumbled. "I promised you that you could choose your guardian. I was truly hoping you would pick among the candidates from SD I suggested, but so be it." "I have to be around him all weekend?" Buffy howled. "Yeah," I exhaled happily, "and I plan to have sex all weekend long." From the look on Buffy's face, she knew she was going to die. She was going to see me having sex with someone else, snap, kill me then kill herself out of shame and grief. Yep, she was going to die. It turned out Aya was off to Amazon Summer Camp for Squirts. We quickly arranged a series of smoke signals she could use to send for me if she was in danger. Desiree rolled her eyes, hefted Aya's luggage and left with my tiny boon companion. I sobbed. "Katrina, can I go see her when she's at camp?" I turned to my boss. "Cáel Nyilas, this is a place where we send our greatest treasure; our children," Katrina smirked. "We will not discuss the abuse of power it would be for me to reveal the location to you." "Cool; Daphne, where is it?" I turned to my closest female new hire. "I won't tell you and it changes every year," Daphne smiled. "But you know where it is this year," I persisted. "I didn't say I didn't," Daphne beamed. "Fine. Come home with me. While my ogress henchwoman holds you down, I'll tickle the truth out of you," I menaced. "Buffy don't!" Tigger shouted. Buffy was about to brain me with my reading lamp. I was fearless. "Okay, Bubbles," I beamed vindictively. "Go get us a car and make it snappy." There was a hush. "What? Did I use any words that were too big for you to understand?" Buffy's screamed caused people to reach for their sidearm three floors away. She stormed out, thankfully not running over anyone. "Do you want to die?" Violet tugged my sleeve. "Let the 'Lost Blood' (Old Kingdom Hittite) deal with him," Fabiola sneered. "They are both annoyances." I took a deep breath. "Fabiola, your laws regulate what I can and can't say to you," I stared at her. "Instead, I beseech you to never insult a 'Runner' (Old Kingdom Hittite) in my presence again." "Buffy is a 'Lost Blood' (Old Kingdom Hittite)," Fabiola defied me. I took another deep breath then hobbled over to Katrina's desk, retrieved a pen, piece of paper and a nice, soapstone-encased lighter. By the time I got back to my desk, I certainly had the new hires' attention. Since Fabiola was a Latin name, I had to guess at what it would look like in the Amazon alphabet. "Daphne, is this right?" I asked. She shook her head. She wouldn't give me the answer. I got it on the third try. I showed Fabiola her name on the paper then burned it. I rubbed the ashes between my palms then showed Fabiola my blackened palms. "What does that mean?" Paula inquired. She was worried. I was both flamboyant and hardcore at the same time. "Who cares?" Fabiola mocked me. "'Ghost'" I said in Old Kingdom Hittite. It took them a few seconds to realize it had a second definition; invisible. I had no doubt Katrina fully understood the implications of my actions. "Cáel, I will have to consult with Hayden over this," Katrina mused. I gave a nod, collected my stuff and headed for the elevator. "Katrina, what did he do?" Dora chimed in. "He murdered Fabiola," Katrina enlightened them. "In his mind, she no longer exists." "Can he do that?" Violet wondered. Fabiola took after me. "Cáel," she called out. I ignored her. She caught up. "Cáel." Ignored. Then she shoved me from behind in the shoulder. I kept walking. "Don't you ignore me!" she seethed. Daphne was coming up fast. "Leave him alone," Daphne insisted. Fabiola shoved me again. I was almost at the elevator. "Don't," Helena came up. She was aiming for Daphne because Daphne was about to kick Fabiola. "She's insulting you!" Daphne reacted to Helena while pointing at Fabiola. "He is a man," Helena explained. "We don't fight over men." Meaning that couldn't be the primary excuse, not that it never happened. "Katrina, make me Cáel's boss," Fabiola shouted. Well, I would never dare shout at Katrina unless her life was on the line. Also, technically Fabiola couldn't be my boss, being a 'new hire' and all. "Cáel Nyilas, Fabiola is your boss for the next five minutes," Katrina intoned. Oh fuck. "Cáel, to my side," Fabiola gloated. I looked past her to Katrina, sighed and punched the elevator button. "Don't turn your back on me," Fabiola snarled. A tug of war developed. She kept trying to turn me away from the elevator doors and I refused to be budged. Fabiola drew her blade. Shit. "You cannot run far enough away that I will let you get away with that," Daphne seethed in Old Kingdom Hittite. Fabiola was about to meet that challenge. "What are you doing?" Katrina had been coming out of her office when she caught the exchange. "I;” Daphne stammered. She'd screwed up. "Apologize," Katrina commanded. Daphne apologized grudgingly. The doors opened. "Cáel, hold the door." I did. "Cáel, to my side," Fabiola repeated. She thought she was about to win. I stayed where I was. "Fabiola, he can't hear you," Katrina pointed out. "Of course he can hear me," Fabiola rebutted. "No; no he can't," Katrina remained calm. "You have rendered yourself dead to him. Since he is not a priestess, or augur, he cannot hear the voices of the dead." "He cannot willfully decide he can't hear me," Fabiola demanded. "Oh, I agree. That would be wrong for him to willfully ignore any Havenstone female. Conversely, he can't allow any of our women to be harmed either," Katrina explained patiently. "So, when he witnessed an assault on the spirit of our women, he attempted to address it." "He approached the perpetrator and politely asked them to refrain from that activity. He was rebuffed. It wasn't like he could physically resolve the issue. To resolve that internal conflict; to defend his sisters but not attack a sister, he symbolically killed the problem. This allowed him to constantly and continuously forget the cause of this disruption." "He can't do that," Fabiola persisted. "Actually, it is pure Cáel," Katrina smirked. "I personally unaware of any scripture, bylaw, or statute that forbids him from doing this. I have given you a reasonable argument that explains his actions. He is essentially working through two conflicting orders." "Now Fabiola, as a perspective leader, what do you suggest he do? Let you force him to be relocated when he breaks your jaw? Let you insult half of Havenstone's staff until one day, one of them snaps and you end up in a Newark landfill? That would be wrong of him to do as he is supposed to lay his life down for us," Katrina kept at it. "What do you suggest?" "How do you resolve the crisis? Before you answer that, consider the fate of Leona," Katrina gave a predatory twist of the lips that would make a Momma T-Rex proud. "This male is making us fight amongst ourselves," Fabiola complained. "I'm not fighting just for the male," Daphne growled. "I'm fighting to have offspring that are strong in both body and mind." "Hey," Helena snorted, "can you imagine how much tougher the women in Acquisitions and Business Management have it? We get to talk about the New Directive without fear of weirding Cáel out." "Please believe me," I chuckled. "I'm still weirded out. There is simply nothing I can do about it so I get on with my day." "I don't understand any of you," Fabiola protested. "Fabiola, will Aya die?" Katrina asked. "Yes." "Why?" Katrina continued. "She is small, weak and hyperactive," Fabiola explained. "Cáel, will Aya die?" "No." "Why?" Katrina gazed at me. "Isn't she small, weak and hyperactive?" "Sure, she's small now, but she's only nine. Look at the size of all the other women in her house. None of them are super-tall either," I answered. "She's not hyperactive. She is very bright with a very active imagination. Once she finds her 'stillness'; her center; she'll do fine. If anything, she's too smart. She figures out that her guardians are worried, why they are worried and has to fight against their disappointment every time she does anything." Fabiola snorted, proving yet again she was clueless to her surroundings. "After all, Katrina, she's related to you and you are one of the scariest-smart people I've ever had the pleasure to know," I smiled. I could reply to Fabiola while not replying. "Cáel, go. You are unlikely to survive Buffy as it is," Katrina directed. Buffy was indeed apoplectic. She did manage to let me retrieve my bike before driving me home. Since I was dragging both all my business clothes, toiletries and my bike upstairs with crutches, it was painfully comical. A furious Buffy relented and took a few of my things. We had barely made it in the door when my phone rang. Buffy dumped my belongings in the center of the living room. "Hey," I answered the phone. "Hey, it's Odette," she greeted me happily. "Are you still in the HQ?" "Nope Odette," I grinned at Buffy. "I'm home. Do you want to come over?" "Sure; it's not going to be a problem, is it?" she asked. "I have a good friend over, but if you can stand my illicit behavior, you are more than welcome," I informed her. "Cool," she chirped. "I'll be over in about an hour." "See you soon. Until then Odette," I said. "Now I have to watch you fuck a whore?" Buffy stared at the ground. I wasn't going to go after for the 'whore' thing. She was at the end of her endurance. I knew that. I limped in front of her and pulled out her phone. She was too angry to look up at me so I knelt down. "Buffy," I showed her the text from Katrina about my six hour sexual exemption. She looked up and read it. "So? What does this mean?" Buffy looked ready to explode in tears and fists. "It means that when Constanza had her sword aimed at my throat I figured out a way to ease some of your fears," I stated. She blinked. "You worried that I'd be dead by the end of the month, and I did promise to try and make you the first Havenstone woman I made love to," I explained. "Constanza was about to kill you and you were thinking of me?" is what Buffy got out of all that. "Yeah. I also realized that Aya was far calmer than she was last Saturday, but the major thing was how to ask Katrina for the exemption and lure you here for the weekend," I told her. "Weekend?" Buffy studied me intently. "Yeah," I grinned seductively. "See, I figure we time everything. When we start something naughty, we flip on the timer and the moment we are done, we flip it off," I met her gaze. "That way we squeeze as much out of the six hours as possible; if that's what you want to do?" Buffy hugged me suddenly. "You were about to die and I was the one you were thinking about," Buffy wept. By that, I meant she fell apart emotionally. I had always seen Buffy so fierce that I was caught off-guard by this open vulnerability. I hugged her back and snuggled her close. She sniffled for several seconds. "This doesn't count, does it?" she hiccupped. "This is purely platonic. I'm bonding with my supervisor; team-building," I stated firmly. "Oh Goddess, you are crazy, you are crazy, you are crazy," she murmured into my shoulder. "Okay, I'm crazy. I also really want to have sex with you," I pushed her back so we could look eye to eye. "Or, are you going to make me beg like a big baby?" "I really want to have sex with you too," Buffy smiled; romantically. The fiery freakiness was gone to be replaced by a deeply sensual, gentle spirit. What the hell? "Let's go to the bedroom," I suggested. "We can try out the sofa later." "Is your leg going to be okay?" she suddenly worried. "Which one? Two of the three are working fine," I teased. No anger. "I love your sense of humor," Buffy snickered. I repeat; Huh? We stripped down then crawled under the sheets. Buffy was demure, calm and at peace. "Buffy, I don't want to ruin the mood," I said as I pulled her close. "But you are not acting normal and I don't know what to make of it," I completed. "I won," Buffy stroked my cheek lovingly. "I beat out everyone else for you. I gave it everything I had, you recognized that and came to me. This is me being happy, Cáel. Would you prefer me to be combative?" "I prefer you," I teased. The 'thank you' hovered right on the other side of unspoken. It wasn't in her. She was starting to get amorous. I pulled away to Buffy's momentary confusion then the condom came out, I ripped open the packet, slipped on the prophylactic and returned to my lover. I was about to slip into Buffy, missionary style. "Wait!" she stopped me. She hit two buttons on her wrist watch. "Timer," she explained. In I went. Buffy gasped slightly then began moving her legs up along my thighs. Years of experience made this a slow, gentle screw. This wasn't me wasting time; Buffy wanted savagery later. For her triumphal moment, she wanted to savor every second of this first time with her prize; me. Tender kissing and nuzzling were the signs of our affection. She ran her hands over my shoulders, back and ass. I would balance on my right arm while I coaxed delightful hums from Buffy. This was not Buffy's first time. By the level of stimulation she was giving me, this was unlikely to even be her 100th time. She knew her stuff. She had mentioned me physically and cerebrally engaging her being a reason she was so desperate to 'have' me. I had misinterpreted that. Buffy wanted a sex partner that could keep up in a way that went far beyond stamina; she hungered for matching skill and maturity. She could give me subtle clues with her body and I'd pick up on them, folding them back into my own actions and signals. There aren't too many that can meet me orgasm for orgasm. Buffy did. She crested first, but I was only seconds behind her. Before my final blasts, I rolled us over so that she was on top. I tried wiggle out of her. Buffy resisted. "Don't pull out yet," Buffy requested. "If I pull out, we can stop the clock," I insisted. "Oh," she giggled, "me lying naked on top of you in your bed isn't 'inappropriate behavior'?" "I won't tell if you won't," I snickered. Buffy cut of the timer on her wristwatch. Buffy was bringing her breathing under control and getting comfortable with our sweatiness. "If you hadn't been as good as your hype," Buffy whispered after a minute, "I think I would have fallen apart; and killed you; then probably myself." "Whoa," I reacted. "Explain that. Girls wanting to kill me is fine. Girls killing themselves for anything remotely involving me isn't." She mulled that over. She wasn't going to apologize yet felt a need to share something. I had to be patient. I've been with a lot of girls and a few guys who didn't take rejection well. That rarely had anything to do with the actual rejection. It was some festering wound much deeper and older than their encounter with me. "In high school I discovered the wonders of sex. I loved it. Not the lover, but the carnal act. I'd screw anyone, as long as it was something new and different," Buffy confided. "After a few bad incidents, my parents; my stepfather and my mother; threw me out because they thought I was a bad influence for my two younger sisters. I went to a city and did the only thing I was good at. I met this guy; you know the story. He would protect me, love me, blah, blah, blah," Buffy recalled painfully. "Slowly the sex stopped being fun. It was money and not my money at that. One night I got sick of it. 'He' wanted me to perform, I told him I was leaving so he and two buddies raped me. They raped me a lot over the next two days while they smoked meth and drank," she continued. "Finally, when they all passed out, I went to the place where he had his gun." "That wasn't going to be good enough for me," she tilted her head up to study my eyes. "I got his baseball bat instead and knocked them all out real good. I found a few garbage bag twist ties, tied their hands behind their backs and went at all three with a knife. I gutted them a bit so they were awake and in a shitload of pain; then I hacked their cocks and balls off." I was less revolted than I thought I'd be. I still felt my dick shrivel and my balls trying to retract into my bodies. I certainly wasn't going to joke about it; this was a serious sensitive moment for her. I stroked her hair. I could live with this revelation. I wasn't sure why I could, but my heart and mind weren't freaking out, so I went with my instincts. "I had barely finished up when the cops came bursting in. I had taken far longer torturing them than I imagined and their screams had been heard all over the housing complex. They Tasered me, I went to jail and finally to trial. My defense attorney argued an 'Insanity' Plea and I ended up in a mental facility," she was clearly relieved that I wasn't terrified. "A few months later, Katrina showed up," Buffy continued. "She wasn't where she is today. We talked a great deal, but there were only two crucial questions for her. 'Do you regret killing those men?' and 'Can you have sex again?' I answered 'no' and 'yes' after some thought. Two weeks later, I was transferred to a Havenstone facility, they cleaned me up, trained me, and I was stationed here." "What is with you and Elsa?" I prodded a handful of minutes later. "Don't go there, Cáel," Buffy muttered. "Do you seriously want me to confront her not knowing the whole score?" I countered. "She is a complete and total racist Bitch," she grumbled. "Please don't tell me it was a sex contest," I groaned. "If she is better than you, I'm going to die." Her grumbling lack of an explanation allowed me to crack a joke. Buffy 'punished' me by kissing my chin. "No, it wasn't a cunt-thing. If she can fuck you better than me, you have my permission to die," she smiled playfully. Scary. I was so used to her being scary, Buffy not being scary was scaring me. Push? "Well, the only thing I can do then, is a Buffy-Elsa-Cáel three-way," I sighed. "Okay," Buffy murmured. "Stop it!" I shouted. "You are freaking me out." Buffy giggled. I was howling off into madness on the inside. "I think you have company coming soon. We should get clean and put some clothes on," she exhaled joyously. By dressed, Buffy meant putting on my dress shirt; unbuttoned. She was like that, cross-legged on the sofa, eating Cheese Puffs and watching 'Real Housewives of Mumbai' when Odette arrived. It took Odette a second to realize this Buffy was the same firecracker from the last time they met. "Hi; um," Odette started. "We are fine. He fucked me. I'm in a state of grace," Buffy explained pleasantly; without a hint of menace, or fury. "Buffy; Odette Sievert," I made introductions. "Odette; Buffy Dubois." Odette strode right over to the sofa and plopped down beside Buffy. I had to struggle to not flinch. "He gives an incredible dicking, doesn't he?" Odette bubbled. "Yes," Buffy purred, "Yes, he does that and more. You are new to this whole 'love-making thing, aren't you?" "Pretty much," Odette openly admitted. "He gave me my first orgasm. I didn't realize how good sex was until I met Cáel." "I didn't realize how good sex was until I met me either," I joked. "Trust me," Buffy patted Odette's thigh, "I know a great deal about sex and I can assure you he's really, really good." "You are not wearing underwear," Odette noted. Life only got more bizarre. "Why don't you go into the bedroom, get one of his used dress shirts and put it on; and nothing else," Buffy advised. "It is a wonderful experience." "Oh God, don't I know it," Odette exulted. She jumped up and skipped into my bedroom. "Don't play with her," I cautioned Buffy. Buffy studied me then gave me a glowing look. "I'm trying to be a better companion Cáel," she told me. "I know I've put you through hell. I'm not going to apologize. I like the look of fear in your eyes. It is only matched by that look that says 'I'll get you for this'," she chuckled. "Just for that, its reverse cowgirl for you the next time we make love," I threatened. "How is that a threat?" Buffy teased. "I am absolutely positive you like my ass." "I bet he likes all of you," Odette sang out as she came out twirling in another one of my dressed shirts and nothing else. Odette had change really quick. I knew she came over bra-less. I was suspecting no underwear, or socks too. She sat down tightly next to Buffy. "So, how is this 'sharing' thing going to work?" Odette looked back and forth between us. "Have you ever been with a woman?" Buffy asked. "Don't be embarrassed about curiosity." "Ah; well, a little," Odette stammered. "Here is how it works," Buffy patted Odette's nervous hand. "I can only have sex with Cáel for five and a half more hours for the entire weekend. Since I like sex and you are here, I'm certainly interested in you." "Odette," she reassured my bed-buddy, "there is no pressure. I have gotten the most important thing; quality time with Cáel. Everything else is a bonus." "Oh; I'm okay with that," Odette nodded. Then she leaned in to kiss Buffy; maybe I should create a 'Sex for Beginners' CD. I was working gangbusters on expanding Odette's sexual horizons. Buffy wrapped a hand in Odette's hair and drew her into a steamer kiss. I settled in behind Odette, switching kisses between the back of Odette's head and Buffy's hand. "Wow," Odette panted. "You taste different than any guy I've kissed. I like it, but I like Cáel better." Before anyone thinks this never happens, or 'only in Hollywood (West Hollywood, that is), please understand I went to a rural college with a 70% female student enrollment. Convincing a girl to engage in a little girl-on-girl action to 'get me extra aroused' is insanely easy. The few times a lady has asked if I'd kiss a guy to get her 'extra aroused', I said 'for her and only for her'. Works every time. I've kissed a few guys, but only for charity. Fine; I've kissed a few guys in gay bars because Timothy intimated that we'd get our asses kicked if I didn't. He may have been playing me, but for all the shit I put him through, I can live with that. Back to the story: we had Odette in my bed in no time. I was on the bottom, Odette was lying on me, back to my chest and I was using my hips to piston into her while she moaned on top of me. Buffy was alternating between tantalizing Odette's clit and teasing her nipples. Using a very liberal definition for 'touching me', we decided that this wasn't consuming any of our 'exemption' time. Three orgasms later, Buffy poured an uber-contented Odette into her/my shirt and I carried her to the sofa. I put Odette's head in Buffy's lap, Buffy twirling Odette's forelock and Odette humming a happy tune. I was getting some apple and orange juice when Timothy's keys jangled in the door. He walked into the apartment and soaked up the scene. I took in that it was barely 8:30 and Timothy was in his date clothes. A seriously not-good situation. I diverted to him, drinks in hand, and hugged him. "Sorry Bro," I murmured. He hugged me back. "Buffy DuBois, this is Timothy." "Buffy? The crazy chick who wanted a hug?" Timothy chuckled. "She's not;” Odette mumbled. "Yes, that would be me," Buffy grinned sedately. Timothy looked down and shook his head. "That is some dick," he groused. "Damn Bro, "Timothy regarded me with some amusement, "did you bother to get her panties off, or was the mere thought of sex with you enough to cause a complete personality reversal?" "Cáel," Odette raised a shaking arm and commanded loftily, "put the drinks down and get us some ice cream. It is Bonding Time." She meant commiserating with Timothy over his dating failure. Timothy trundled off to his bedroom muttering something about 'getting into something more comfortable' and I delivered the drinks then doubled back for the ice cream and four spoons. Timothy ended up on the floor with his head resting against Odette's stomach. I offered to take the bottom spot. Timothy accepted the gesture then pointed out I was the guy with the bum leg. I ended up with Odette's feet in my lap. The flavor of the night was Cherry Vanilla and we were all making inroads into the supply quickly. Timothy dialed up Ninja Assassin on Netflix. Ten minutes in I realized why. There was this Asian actor who was really hot and extremely physically fit. Odette agreed. "You two can't believe any of this is real," Buffy commented shortly after. "This is absurd. Nothing and no one kills like that." She had professional pride after all. It hadn't taken me three days to figure out that the Executive Service babes' main purpose in life was not laundry delivery. They went everywhere and saw everything; just like a secret police force. Odd, huh? "Speaking of absurd and unreal," Timothy snickered. "Cáel, two ladies screaming Extreme High Maintenance showed up this morning. Apparently you weren't answering your phone, work said you were out of the office, and some spooky chicks at Havenstone showed them the door with something akin to a threat of lethal violence," he continued. "From long experience as your roommate, I could tell you'd fucked them to Nirvana and they wanted more." "From long experience'?" Buffy wondered. "You haven't known him two months yet." "Lady, this happens at least once a week with this guy. You are playing with the hair of one of those women right now," Timothy told her. "Yeah," Odette sighed happily. I was still wrapping my mind around the fact that Buffy hadn't threatened me with violence in the past four hours. Not even a glower. "So, what did you tell them?" I asked my bud. "I looked terribly put out then informed them you'd decided to become a Dominican and gone to a monastery in Italy to train," Timothy smirked. "What did you really say?" I thumped his head with my spoon. Before anyone goes 'iew, don't eat with that', I would remind you how pervasive hair is in a bachelor pad. Vacuum and you'll find out. "I told them you work in Looney Tunes Central; which they bought surprisingly easily; and that you would give them a call the moment your destiny was returned to you," Timothy said. I was willing to bet he used those exact words too. "What has Cáel told you about Havenstone?" Buffy prodded. "No way, Buffy," Timothy shook his head. "You are still one of those crazy bitches. Cáel hasn't told me the real deal, but when he looked me in the eye and said you ladies might kill me, I knew he wasn't playing around. He was afraid for my life." "Do you really think we would hurt you?" Buffy persisted. "You put an arrow in my boy; and he's got the magic dick. Since I'm not likely to put out for you ladies, I pretty much believe you'll put one through my heart without batting an eye," Timothy countered. "What would you do if he simply stopped showing up one day?" Buffy mused. "Not ask," Timothy snapped off his reply. "I trust Cáel enough to heed his warning and get on with my life." "Cáel has a big heart," Buffy regarded me warmly. "It is one of the many things that makes him a great prize." "Salmon; Angel Falls," Timothy taunted me. Before I even started at Havenstone, he had warned me that I had no chance of making it in that women-dominated Hell. He was right and he loved rubbing it in; the Bastard. To clarify: a salmon is a stupid fish who follows his penis to his death and Angel Falls in Venezuela is the Earth's longest, continuous waterfall; that's 807 meters for those who don't want to use Wikipedia. "Timothy, if there was any doubt, there will be no mention of Tuesday night and what came afterwards," I urged my guy. "Way ahead of you," Timothy chuckled. That was Rhada we were talking about. "If you are going to hang around Cáel, you will have to get used to all the other ladies," Odette sighed comfortably up at Buffy. "I know," Buffy stroked Odette's ear. "Also, if you see me outside of Cáel's home, be afraid of me because if you aren't, bad things might happen to you. Do we understand each other?" "No," Odette hesitated to respond. "Don't worry about it; just do it," Buffy warned her; affectionately. I was going mad. For the rest of the movie, everyone behaved. We emptied the ice cream container. Timothy went for beers. He bought back three. "Where is mine?" Odette inquired. "I don't think you are old enough to drink," Timothy told her. "Odette, if you give Buffy a kiss steamy enough to curl her toes, I'll give you mine," I offered. Odette weighed the offer, rolled over and crawled into Buffy's lap. The kiss was classic me; teasing contact; light tongue; full kiss; re-arrangement of tonsils. I was so proud of my girl. "That was exceedingly pleasant, Odette," Buffy grinned once the French kiss eventually ended. I handed Odette my beer. She remained straddling Buffy's lap, perfectly at ease. "Dude, do you have any guy friends you can bring over and make gay?" Timothy pleaded with me. We knew that didn't happen. "Fine, bi will do," he grinned. "I'm not a lesbian," Odette wiggled in Buffy's lap. "I just like Buffy." "Buffy likes you," Buffy placed a light kiss on Odette's lips. "Let's go to the bedroom." Acid test time. "Sure," Odette hopped up. She took Buffy's hand and pulled her up. Hand in hand they went to my room. I rose to follow. "We'll call you when we are ready," Buffy teased me. They went into my boudoir and shut the door. "Now you know how I feel," Timothy sighed. "Not really," I patted his shoulder. "In thirty, or forty minutes, I'm going to go in there and do some serious boning. Personally, I don't know how you take sleeping alone so often." Timothy and I sat down on the sofa. "You are an asshole," he grumbled. "Considering what you do to assholes, I don't know how to take that," I joked. He hit me. "Being gay would be the only thing that would make you more fun," Timothy laughed. I wondered how Katrina would take my sexual conversion. I deciding telling her would be unwise. I had another rescue flare about how out of control my life had become; Odette had seen my latest series of bandaged wounds and hadn't forced me to create some lie to explain them away. Damn. To be continued in Part 11 By FinalStand for Literotica.

ExplicitNovels
Cáel and the Manhattan Amazons: Part 8

ExplicitNovels

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 8, 2024


Cáel's tombstone: For the love of women, women put him here.In 25 parts, edited from the works of FinalStand.Listen and subscribe to the ► Podcast at Connected..

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sob cambodians rising sun spinal tap fdic oh god nerf atf fp anthrax marshal helium renfield mmm weave ghost hunters hostility lk god almighty holy cross mongolian apologizing princess leia moor comforting federal court cyclops ncis trojans old world barnum cicero grandson rasputin restraint oaths oh my god good guy reload sop brewster collar roman catholic church sz assyria east asian new england journal grenades ade creeping jason voorhees amazonian referring kurdish my dad janus jonestown ish special agents horace dg braille jokers fraternity medical center ballroom carmichael belles third reich stalkers tad diplomatic eurasia feinstein taser federal bureau legalize messina winslow timer genghis khan sub saharan africa seti animaniacs soaking christmas holiday goddamn spirit world wiccans farsi arabian patriot act hecklers laguardia testicles carnegie mellon nimrod pla district court slavic iliad poo peugeot stasi bohemia directive chalmers endo peeling chicagoans luxemburg columbian catholic school equestrian home loans modernism truce orgies recount faults village voice kneel kurdistan clans harmonious sipping draco high priestess glock lcd precinct resonate invading team lead ancestor donetsk keyes my mother emergency services krav maga burnham magna carta celts coroner hubby foe bushido lombard forc penetration rhodes scholar rorschach grace kelly assyrian violating fabiola bolivian congolese asc frat ako atwood snape second language enrique iglesias mah blush darwinian ancient world medico umm friday morning big boss pinhead prc buster keaton i won germanic woot hippocrates world domination kama sutra bum eurasian snapping ishtar dumbass holy shit life plans holy crap swiss alps prick tigger coal mine armory sizzling my son improper hunting season holy cow coughing amusement beg orphan black castello appoint vassar college speedo park rangers neapolitan omniscient four days his house athleticism great pumpkin felicit central africa eharmony timothy leary pandering wha amazonia hadrian finnes little sister alphas birthed father daughter propelled magyar ursula k le guin umami us navy seals eek hittites amway intensive care chuckles solar plexus naughty list infighting pluck evasion motherfuckers timur geisha barring my house legions cowardly mongoose danube hilton head western united states brainiac zen masters intercourse evil empire yakima restraining orders black forest ow silky acp disrespecting vietnamese american trust funds taunting abed iron age bad girl kindergarten cop bacchus internal affairs cavemen padawan mein kampf trojan war anat 3f old spice assistant manager top shot canadian american mesoamerican lumpy crouching tiger hellas shotguns ramses consulate last place boohoo medical examiners oliver cromwell patching chicago pd intensive care units crewe hittite cunt east river scathing constanza hippocratic oath your father rolling thunder saturday afternoon dominicans imhotep sick leave groan scythians ash ketchum developing world octopussy fuckers northern district deyoung fifth amendment jacking flatbush atta evian tasmanian devils laughable bbc america wonder twins troika maoist nonviolent hidden dragon aerospace engineer ssr huns firemen vassar surrogates khmer every member ruger soe insulted exceptionally voa big wheels ace hardware security services saint james chicago police department arwen incan wies granddad writ extermination gibbon good hope girls gone wild humping cunnilingus united states district court littering sterile bravado ragged little bighorn alternating nubian ngozi ohio valley sex addicts united states attorney first house colonial america sparing iridium seven pillars baring witness protection ravine cleverly clearinghouse other half bitchy flailing central european invariably black hand overt hic international finance sky blue mafioso holy mother tigerlily braulio oink inadvertently brawling bouncers sapphic moorish other' murmurs your mother errands mmmmmm lashing moose jaw quebecois smg pharos bestiality stanhope sot southern india retrieve azerbaijani modern american gruff mountie black lotus sex god supremacists uzbek kibble searing wmds estere miranda rights shoshone augur sperm whales durex caress coils sheath olmec matron grans amory big sis main man madame butterfly gutless lead investigator belafonte slaughtering minoan jaywalking long island medium unconquered genghis foolishly sinaloa cartel javiera romany slavs mumbling squirts hey dad normals muay bolingbrook friendless caller id cherrie yalda yuppie latin kings egg mcmuffins wakefulness blood feud sunni islam garden gnomes tri state area issue one you god picts ibew han chinese low countries holy fuck cloaking mossberg western roman empire marilynn bereft we americans un charter misinterpreting peregrine falcon amateur night rusty nail bwana magyars reichmann mississippi valley new agers inflicted corporate security weeee dutch east indies tabriz ninja assassin death certificate momma bear christmas elf communist russia professor snape kyrgyz cambodian americans englishwoman tamerlane counter intelligence epona bomo casus belli paranormal witness amerindian subcontinent lothario angel falls otolaryngologist dcup temujin negative reinforcement council chambers pillow guy george anderson wakko arpad fbi headquarters wagnerian genoese obedience training welcome wagon my aunt good golly hey bro miyako british sas chip coffey literotica zombie survival guide nazg wiggling divulging mediterranean world bumpkin my sisters charlie horses savate yes ma personal defense hron new york county free tibet collapsible house heads unluckily italian deli me let director c dual survival lilliputian lucky bastards motherfu century bce eminently shammy black sands mycenaeans hey lady natural born killer daniel burnham english midlands dacian cheese puffs thorazine 2x4 policia federal nicorette in soviet russia 'thelma dimwit marda brian fung firing range currying us tax code cherry vanilla carnegie melon green meadows cocksucker every amazon unbutton fiji mermaid dutifully late saturday she had lydians neutron bomb bersa amazon c goddess ishtar homicide division united states federal wiccan priestess cyberdyne systems thuggee stanica sarmatians girl you avars deoxyribonucleic kazaks my japanese mirandized karvala bulgars her aunt gotchya maldives islands katrina love ruger lcr you broke
KDXU
Stuffin' cheese puffs, with Shawn and Jordan, plus 'Stand Your Ground' with Dave Romer

KDXU

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2024 43:32


Stuffin' cheese puffs, with Shawn and Jordan, plus 'Stand Your Ground' with Dave Romer full 2612 Mon, 20 May 2024 19:08:10 +0000 WaY0T2c8fthO0uLMowAyA60g823U2MKt The Andy Griffin Show news Stuffin' cheese puffs, with Shawn and Jordan, plus 'Stand Your Ground' with Dave Romer Join Andy Griffin for The Andy Griffin Show on Southern Utah's News Talk KDXU in St. George and listen to parts of the shows that you may have missed or just want to listen to again. 2022

The Best of Breakfast with Bongani Bingwa
What's Gone Viral - Little boy just wants some cheese puffs

The Best of Breakfast with Bongani Bingwa

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2024 6:41


Make the decision right. What's Gone Viral with Jonathan “Khabazela” Fairbairn.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Staci & Hutch on KS95
Hack of the Day - Staci's Glorious "Cheese Poof" Hack

Staci & Hutch on KS95

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2024 10:36


For today's hack Staci has a way to apparently help parents limit the messiness that comes with children eating Cheese Puffs. Staci calls the Cheesy Poofs, and chaos ensues from there. You can hear Staci & Hutch LIVE 2-7pm on 94.5 KS95!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Killer Casting
091 Fargo Season 5 Episode 3 (The Yellow Sweater)

Killer Casting

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2023 61:09


Cheese Puffs, a 44 Magnum and The Yellow Sweater Before we delve into the third episode of Fargo Season 5 first we side bar into a review of the latest David Fincher movie “The Killer” starring a very enigmatic Michael Fassbender playing a rather bungling hired assassin. Then we get on to analyzing this (in Dean's words) audacious episode 3 where wagons start to circle around our brave heroine Dot and her family. When your grocery list includes juice boxes, cheese puffs and shotguns, you know things are about to pop off. Lisa also has some good wallpaper talk and the gives a special shout out to some excellent sweater work by Dot's yellow cardigan. #jonhamm #junotemple #noahhawley #hulu #fx #joekeery #lamornemorris #jenniferjasonleigh #richamoorjani #davefoley  #Fargo #recap #streaming #Hulu #tvpodcast #nipplerings #yellowsweater  00:52 The Struggles of Waiting for New Episodes 01:21 Personal Anecdotes and Casual Conversation 02:27 Discussion on the Theme of Running Away 04:49 Discussion on Alien Franchise 09:13 Review of 'The Killer' 18:04 Discussion on Fargo Episode 3 Continued 28:50 Analyzing the Artful Editing and Visual Storytelling 30:06 Exploring the Character's Wardrobe Choices 31:29 Unpacking the Intense Bedroom Scene 37:35 Diving into the Intriguing Flashback Sequence 45:46 Discussing the Tense Confrontation at the Gun Shop 49:46 Breaking Down the Climactic Halloween Night Scene 55:41 Reflecting on the Episode's Themes and Revelations

The Hodge Pack Sports Life and Everything in Between
Marty Smith not Marty Stuart and Chick Fil-A avocado lime ranch &cheese puffs

The Hodge Pack Sports Life and Everything in Between

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2023 93:38


In this episode of the Hodge Pack podcast, we are fortunate enough to be joined by ESPN's College Football Analyst and co-host of Marty & McGee and SEC Nation Marty Smith. We look at the college football landscape, specifically the impact Deion is having in Boulder, CO. We discuss Marty's latest book Sideline CEO Leadership Principles from Championship Coaches. We also have Knox City head football coach Caleb Callaway as our Big Country Electric My Town segment. Misti reveals she enjoys Chick Fil-A avocado lime ranch on cheese puffs, Josh has birds and pickles in the fridge. Plus much more enjoy this episode and go get Sideline CEO.Support the show

Wrestle Inn
All Elite Listening: Cheese Puffs Say Otherwise

Wrestle Inn

Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2023 108:02


Alex and Mx Sharpe discuss the overwhelming success of All In at Wembley Stadium in light of the tremendous ticket sales before diving into the AEW ring to discuss the on-going feuds between The Elite and Blackpool Combat Club, The Outcasts and Originals and the Four Pillars storyline. Plus the pair give their thoughts on the never-ending story that is CM Punk's potential return. ⁠Read our features on our website WrestleInn.com.⁠ ⁠Follow us on Twitter @WrestleInn.⁠ ⁠Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/WrestleInn.

Teen Mom Trash Talk
Ep 290. Cheese Puffs

Teen Mom Trash Talk

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 19, 2023 28:44


Kail gets a hot new Sunfire. Randy can't spring for movers. Babs brings Jace to the sewer.  TM2 S2 Ep7 TikTok @trashtalkpodcasts YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/c/TrashTalkPodcasts Bonus Patreon.com/TrashTalkPodcast Traceycarnazzo.com Tracey Carnazzo @trixietuzzini Noelle Winters @noeygirl_ IG @TeenMomTrashTalk Twitter @TeenMomPodcast Factormeals.com/teenmom50

This Goose Is Cooked

We review the book "This Book is Perfect" by Ron Keres.Support the show

Talkin' Tofu
We watched An American Tail! (Outstanding Cheese Puffs)

Talkin' Tofu

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2022 69:12


This week on the show, we're talking about the movie An American Tail while we try all 4 varieties of Outstanding Cheese Puffs!SHOW NOTESThe flavors were: Chedda, Garlic Parmesan, Bacon Chedda, and Jalapeno Chedda.Here's the review out the Outstanding Puffs that we mentioned.The laser disc video game that Dave talked about was Dragon's Lair.If you want to hear us talk about When Harry Met Sally, we did a whole ep about it last year!Thank you so much for listening. We record these episodes for you, and we'd love to hear from you. Got a favorite vegan treat that you think we should cover on the podcast? Send your suggestions to talkintofupod@gmail.com! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steamy Stories Podcast
Life As A New Hire: part 10

Steamy Stories Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2022


With all the fighting & sex, my work reviews should suck.By FinalStand. Listen and subscribe to the podcast at Steamy Stories.-Saving a life isn’t about worthiness. It is about instinct and guts.-(Friday)Since I liked to think that life encouraging me with bruises, punctures, cuts and concussions made me smarter, I had scheduled some eleven o'clock gym time most of the week so to avoid the whole lunch and after-work crowds. Aya and I went to the ‘Others’ gym, which was nice, but wasn’t as complete as the Full/Pure-blood one. Most notable was the lack of weapons.Aya’s and my trip to the 'Other’ gym on Friday hit a snag. Aya clued in on the fact that I was avoiding the Pure-blood facility. We talked about it. I explained I wasn’t a Pure-blood. Her counter-argument was she was and I should confront my fears. Yes, I lost an argument with a nine year old.I have talked a nineteen year old, promise ring virgin into nameless sex in an airport stall. Aya was an unassailable wall of resolve that dashed all of my ploys into so many useless words. I found myself entering the real 'No Man’s Land’ twice in less than a week. Not only was I hard-headed, I was also obviously soft-hearted.At the last moment, I imagined I had a reprieve. I didn’t have to tell Aya how I got in the first time - grabbing an open door. I could swipe my card, have it rejected and move on to safer pursuits. Sure enough, my card failed. Aya’s didn’t - mother-puss-bucket! Upon entering, the twenty, or so women in the place looked at me…and Aya.I recognized somebody. It was Constanza, Elsa’s chief evil henchwoman. Our eyes met. She smiled in a way that assured me she vividly recalled our last encounter. It should be of no surprise that I insulted her somewhere in the process. It’s how I roll. I smiled back at Constanza and gave her a nod before setting up Aya and me for our workout routine.Constanza was not mollified in the slightest. She was patiently waiting - for something. I decided that Aya would be my sole focus and banished the other women from my mind. The munchkin could tell the difference and relayed that to me with her happiness. After twenty minutes, she decided her time with the machines was done and her minutes were better spent resting against, or sitting on, me.My cock was reminding me that it was approaching 36 torturous hours without sex. It was also pointing out that there were thirty available, sexually inquisitive women achingly close. I reminded my penis that being relocated was probably as fun-less as it sounded. That bought me some time. We finished up our sojourn by walking the wall, going over the weapon racks.Mainly we went over the ones various members of her family were proficient with. Aya still had problems with even the most basic ones. The words 'let me help you’ spilled out of my mouth. There were two problems; Aya’s tiny size and the fact that all the weapons were very dangerous. Even the leaf-shaped short blade was too heavy for her so we ended up screwing around instead.I picked up two Iron Age style axes. The blades were more of a thick wedge than the broad axe heads of medieval fame. They were less effective in delivering damage, compensating somewhat in their reduced weight. I’ve convinced a Jewish girl to have sex in a synagogue despite me not being Jewish yet this child was twirling me around her pinkie finger.I was entertaining her with some exotic, flamboyant moves wielding two axes while Aya clapped her hands and giggled when I felt a stranger approach me on the sparring mat. I had been hopping around keeping all my weight on my right leg until that moment. I turned to face the woman, putting my left behind me yet while keeping it firmly on the ground.I also drew my axes up, crossing them over my chest, blades pointing past my shoulders.“I have never seen that technique before,” she addressed me. That and what followed was all in the Amazon tongue.“It is more of a fantasy creation. I had a love affair with pseudo-archaic movies that always do the crazy, two-weapon stuff so my mentor helped me create this method,” I explained.“Has it ever been tested?” she continued.“I am Cáel Nyilas,” I answered, “and yes, my mentor preferred using a poleaxe, or a mace/shield combo against me.”“Oneida,” she seemed amused. “We will see how well you have been tested.”“May I request a favor?” I tried to keep my cool. She pulled out one of those damn spears.“Yes,” she seemed intrigued.“Can you call someone over to sit with Aya? I don’t want her to accidently set foot on the mat,” I beseeched.“Drusilla, please aid me,” Oneida summoned an observer. The woman had heard my appeal and settled beside the nervous, kneeling Aya.“Cáel, please be careful,” Aya pleaded.“Who me?” I chuckled. “I’m impervious to all man-made contrivances.”“Every weapon in this room was crafted by women,” Oneida snorted.“That would certainly explain my full-body bruising and the hole in my leg,” I grinned back. I caught Oneida trying to sneak closer to me. My axes came to a ready position and I charged. I was sure some sort of medic would punish me for this later.She got off two jabs then I was all over her. I knew how to fight a two and a half meter spear. She had no clue how to plot out two incoming weapons with an extra meter of reach. The first time I drove her off the mat. The second time, I got inside her guard and clocked her in the temple with the back end of an axe head. I quickly hopped back three paces, knelt and put my axes on the mat.The rush to get me was stillborn. A few did come to stand over me while two others checked on Oneida who quickly came around.“What happened?” were Oneida’s first, shaky words.“He hit you,” one of her companions answered.“With what - the Moon?” Oneida mumbled as they helped her up. “My ears are still ringing.”“My turn,” Constanza announced. She went for a spear, blade, and round leather-covered, wicker shield.“Give Cáel a moment to rest,” Aya appealed. “He has been fighting longer.”No such luck. I was halfway to exhausted as well. Fighting with two weapons pretty much means just that - twice the fight. Kinetically speaking, I was burning around 80% more calories than my one weapon opponents. I was wielding axes, not fighting sticks after all. In my favor was a deep wellspring of stamina and my Will reinforced by my desire to not upset Aya.What little time I was given wasn’t out of charity. A second Amazon was joining the struggle. I could back off, but I felt Constanza would enforce an intense level of groveling solely to grind up Aya emotionally. She didn’t hate Aya. Aya was an avenue to really hurt me and we both knew it. For a second, when I hobbled off the mat, there were chuckles. I had fled.That ended as I began retrieving some select weapons from the wall racks. Sword harnesses came in two varieties; belted and shoulder slings. I took two shoulder slings and two more axes. I affixed my two 'spare’ axes with leather straps. As I turned to the mat, Constanza had decided to be clever. She and her buddy had closed to within three meters of the edge.They would box me in as soon as my second foot touched down on the mat.“Please back up,” I requested. Constanza smiled with supreme confidence. I smiled back. This was going to be dangerous, agonizing and unorthodox - totally me. I began backing up.“Cáel,” Aya murmured. “Don’t let them hurt you.”“Running away?” Constanza sneered.“Aya, wickedness is the expedience of the weak,” I nodded her way. “Do you think I can win?”“Of course,” Aya sighed happily. “I am by your side.” I laughed. I charged. The Amazons did the precisely wrong thing - the stepped up to meet me.You keep thrusting weapons, like spears, aimed at the central part of the body. This allows you to deviate your projection anywhere from the thighs to the face. This does imply you know where the central part of the enemy will be. This was not playschool. Real weapons - real damage - real death. They didn’t have to kill me. It didn’t mean they wouldn’t.I leapt. I didn’t leap at them, I leapt over them. Let’s not forget I’m pretty freaking strong. My left leg shot-gunned pain straight to the brain but held it together. I sailed over their thrusting spear points, flipped my axes down so that they would impact the mats first. The flat tops of the axe heads impacted the mat and my body rose up and then flipped over them.This gave me an extra meter and a half on my back flip. I turned that maneuver into summersault, giving three more meters of space. I rolled over to my side and rode the momentum to my feet, facing my adversaries. Now they were the ones in the corner of the mat with their enemy pinning them in and I wasn’t done yet.With all my might, I hurled my right-handed axe at Constanza’s companion. She did exactly what I thought she’d do. She saw the throw halfway in motion and raised her shield up - right where I wanted it. Amazon shields aren’t what most people think shields are today. They think medieval knights, or more appropriately, the shields of the Greek hoplites.The Amazons date back 700 years before those Greeks and they weren’t heavy infantry anyway. Amazons moved light and fast. Consequently, their shields were light - wicker constructs with layers of leather stretched over the frame. Great for deflecting light weapons; not so great for what I was about to do.The steel axe head shattered the top half of the wicker frame. It saved her life, but now she had this useless object strapped to her arm. It also had the added bonus of knocking her back while Constanza engaged me alone. Her first jab forced me to jump back, but I still was able to draw my first spare axe.My luck with women held up a little longer. The other Amazon hesitated just long enough to remove her shattered shield. Alone with Constanza, I attacked. She thrust, I captured her spear head between my axe handles and yanked her forward. We kicked out simultaneously. Her off-balanced strike brushed past my abused left leg. My right kick hit her shield and knocked her down.Her grip on the spear slipped and I propelled it somewhere behind me. Constanza pulled off a reverse summersaulted while drawing her short blade. A really nice move. Unfortunately, it moved her away from the chick with the spear, who hesitated again. This time she took the thrown axe straight to the head - back end impacting. I didn’t want to kill her.Constanza anticipated my next action. It came down to position, distance, and stride length and they all favored me. We raced to the downed companion. My left-handed axes flat side slammed into her forehead, rendering her unconscious, and I kicked her spear off the mat - out of bounds. I slowly backed away from Constanza and readied my second spare axe.“Retire from the field,” I panted. I was physically failing fast.“Why should I?” Constanza glared. “You are about to fall over.”“Aya won’t let me fall,” I stared her down. “You couldn’t beat me with a companion and a spear, Constanza. Do you really think a shield and sword will work any better.”“Let’s find out,” she charged. I really needed the short breather to recover somewhat.The short Amazon blade was an excellent close-in weapon. I never let her get close enough to use it. Tandem axes allowed me to shred her shield while keeping her at arm’s length. My axe bit into her upper left arm right above the elbow. Constanza hissed instead of screaming. She did stagger back. I hopped back three steps, knelt and placed my axes on the mat at my side.“No!” Constanza howled. She came at me while I remained still. Her hand drew back for a killing thrust. I waited. Sparing my life didn’t stop her. The looks of her fellow Amazons held back her wrath. They wouldn’t stop her from slaughtering me, but that was exactly what it was - a butchery.Two things occurred to me: Aya was showing remarkably better control today than on Saturday, and I figured out a way to sleep with Buffy tonight. Being killed? Nah, worry about the things you have control over.“Constanza, he was instructing me,” Oneida stood up.She took up Constanza’s discarded spear and stepped toward us. What disturbed the gathering was how Oneida held it - sidewise, not ready for combat.“You do not intimidate me, Oneida,” Constanza growled.“You misunderstand,” Oneida intoned. “I would do this out of shame and despair.”“I will shear my hair, burn it and take myself to the cliffs to die childless,” she continued. “I leave whatever contempt you might possess for me to be conveyed to my House when they learn your actions have killed one of their last breeding females. The death of some male will not concern them. My death will. The shame I bear for killing a teacher will certainly interest many of our people.”“You wouldn’t dare,” Constanza scoffed. The spear dropped. Fuck that noise. I snatched the last quarter of the shaft before it hit the ground. No one seemed to understand what to do about that. Apparently my reaction was unique.“Yay!” Aya cheered. “He’s the best Daddy ever,” she loudly announced to the crowd.“Oneida, my apology, but Katrina has put her faith in me and the New Directive,” I adlibbed. “I am here to aid the recovery of your people, not diminish them. For the sake of Katrina’s honor, please reconsider.”“Cáel Nyilas,” Oneida smiled sadly, “this is not a pledge that can be retracted.”“Ah…doesn’t it only take effect when the weapon hits the ground?” I struggled. “I mean, otherwise dropping the weapon would be pointless - right?” I repeat, apparently this had never come up before. “This is kind of awkward. Can someone take this?” I meant the spear. I was worn to the bone and holding a long spear from one end, with one hand.Quickly calls went out to Hayden as well as a few department heads.“Constanza,” one of the Amazons spoke up, “if you attack the male, you will be actively sealing Oneida’s Death Pledge. Far fewer of us will understand that.”“How is it that you are so damn lucky?” Constanza growled at me.“You are asking this of a man, on his knees before you with your sword at his throat?” I countered. “Lucky isn’t you sparing my life. Lucky is me never having heard of this place - Except for Aya. She makes the rest of this hellish experience worthwhile.”“Best Daddy ever,” Aya chirped.“Hayden is on her way,” a different Amazon called out. Already a passel of newcomers were swarming the scene. Truly curious was the group looking mournfully at Oneida. One stepped forward.“Male, do you need something? Water?” she asked. I gave it some thought.“Could you sing?” I requested. “A nice soothing song of hope would be nice.” Blink. Like all panicked moments, nothing came to mind for several seconds. Oneida’s people rapidly bantered about some names then the questioner began singing. By the third song I was crying and shaking like a leaf. Constanza had fallen back enough to get her arm tended to.Twice Aya had tried to get me, lending me the tiniest bit more strength. Wisely, her minder kept her away from the possible conflict. There was a whole different level of commotion when Hayden arrived this time.“To bear a weapon in my presence is Death, Cáel,” Hayden stated.“I apologize for being a disappointing Male,” I grunted. “Pass on my regrets to Katrina.”“Drop the weapon and you will be spared. You will only be beaten,” Hayden gave a hint of a smile.“If I drop it, she dies,” I hissed. The ache in my right arm was exceeding that in my left leg.“I’m afraid I will have to decline,” I concluded.“If I kill you, the spear will drop and she’ll die anyway,” Hayden pointed out.“Sucks to be both of us, I guess,” I gasped.“Oneida, step on the spear. Push it down,” Hayden ordered. Hush. Oneida raised her foot.“You are stepping in the wrong place,” I huffed. She looked at me. My eyes flashed to the short side between my grip and my side.“Do you really think you can hold it up?” she questioned.“I know I’ll fail if you step anywhere else,” I tried to grin.“No matter what happens, you will die,” she murmured.“Not my chief concern right now,” I grunted. “Hurry.” Oneida put her foot on the short end.“It will help your balance if you place a hand on his shoulder,” Hayden noted. We both flashed Hayden a shocked look.Oneida stepped on the spear. It trembled and sunk down, barely millimeters off the mat. Her hand came to rest on the crux of my neck and shoulder. I felt my body about to tip over. I was at my limit. I almost missed the gasps whispering around the assembly. Oneida had her body off the ground. Hayden lowered herself so that she could witness there was a distance between the spear and the earth.“The spirits have not heard your pledge, Oneida,” Hayden declared as she regained her regal posture. “I suggest you weigh your words with greater care in the future. Retrieve your spear.” She turned and started to leave the gym. Oneida dismounted and snatched up her spear.“What of the male?” one of the spectators inquired. I didn’t care. I had fallen on my back.“At a moment of such great spiritual significance - the ancestral rejection of a Death Pledge, the action of any one male does not concern me,” Hayden remarked coldly. It wasn’t praise. It was a 'don’t fuck with him’. Around me a cultural conundrum was taking place. Not only could Oneida’s house not thank me because I was a male, they couldn’t thank me because, by Hayden’s decree, there was no life to be saved.Oneida bent over me on one knee.“You really shouldn’t be so eager to toss your life away, Cáel,” she smiled warmly. I was essentially immobile.“You have the most gorgeous blue-grey eyes,” I moaned.“You are thinking about that at a time like this?” she snorted. Her relatives were shockingly amused as well.“No time like the present. Besides, in 75 days you can all go out to some nature preserve and hunt me down with non-lethal weapons. Great way to spend a weekend.”I heard an authoritative cough. I looked up from my still prone position to see Katrina.“Cancel that Oneida. I’m about to get relocated to Antarctica where I’ll be tasked with teaching penguins how to arm wrestle,” I sighed.“Cáel, why do you think I’d be so nice to you after all the hell you cause me on a daily basis?” Katrina looked all menacing.“You recall how much I like winter sports?” I pleaded. “Hey - wait. I was good on Friday. Wasn’t I good on Friday?”“I don’t recall you having a good day yet, but I may double check. Can you stand?” Katrina asked.“Is that a question, or veiled order?” I muttered. “If the former - no. If that latter, I’ll die trying.” Using a combination of my right leg and left arm, I managed to struggle my way upright. By that time, Aya had circled the practice mat and was at Katrina’s side.“He was very brave,” Aya insisted. One of Oneida’s senior women coughed.“Nothing happened so nothing has changed,” Katrina stated. It was a lie and both sides knew it. It was the whole loyalty/martial valor thing. Inside their closed little minds a balancing act had taken place - my worthlessness as a male against Oneida’s value to her people. Aya was easy to discount as she was of Katrina’s house.I had no clue who Oneida was yet still rallied to her when she desperately needed help - Hayden’s obfuscation be damned. Yeah, Oneida had been young and foolish. Her challenge had been given to make Constanza back off. When Constanza called her bluff, pride took over. Oneida had been foolhardy and overly status conscious. Constanza had played Russian roulette with their House’s future and almost 'won’.She’d be wise to avoid darkened corridors for the next few weeks too. There was not only Oneida’s house but the houses allied to it to worry about despite Hayden’s expunging of the official record. For me, it was time to be dragged over to my cute doctor friend. I had been slashed twice by the spears during my jump and not noticed it - adrenaline no doubt.“Congratulations, you and Aya are forbidden to work. I thought keeping you in the building would be safer. I’m mature enough to admit I was wrong,” Katrina conceded. “No place is safe for you, or from you. I’m sending you home, under guard.”“Can I choose Buffy?” I perked up. Katrina arched an eyebrow.“I also need something,” I kept slaloming down toward Hell. “I need a six hour dispensation from you on the whole sex thing with employees.”“Oh Goddess,” Katrina laughed. “What part of me wanting you to stay alive have you missed?”“Are you going to sleep with my Mommy now?” Aya grinned.“No,” Katrina answered for me, “he’s going to play with Buffy.” Right on the money. One scary-smart woman without a doubt. “Best of all, I’ll let you assign Buffy to be your security for the night and you can tell her the good news when you get home. Aya, that means Cáel does, not you.”“Yes Aunt Katrina,” Aya moaped.She wanted me to be banging Caitlyn; her Momma. We would make love, Caitlyn would take me as her mate and I’d be Aya’s Daddy for real. She’d kill me a month later for my twelfth indiscretion. I’m not a fortuneteller. I’m a bookie and I knew the odds of me staying faithful were a sucker’s bet.The only questions were how many and with which one Caitlyn would kill me with. I wasn’t sure how to break that reality to Aya. After getting bandaged/tortured my doctor, cleaned up and redressed, I managed to survive the rest of the day without catastrophe.(Later)“Cáel, do you realize that you’ve been wounded more than most Security Detail recruits do during their basic training?” Violet teased me.Buffy was too furious for coherent speech.“It isn’t his fault, Buffy,” Aya pleaded. “He wasn’t seducing a woman, or anything like that. Oneida tried to sex him up all on her own.” Huh? “Constanza’s nipples were very aroused and we all know what she wanted.”I really was worrying about the twisted sexual education Aya was getting. She knew the terms, but was missing out on the complete meaning of what she was saying.“Oneida? Who the hell is Oneida?” Buffy growled.“She’s one of the new hires with Acquisitions,” Violet answered. Brian Fung’s group.“What were you making eyes at her for?” Buffy snarled possessively.“He didn’t,” Katrina swept into the office. “She made a Death Pledge and Cáel, acting as a vessel for our Ancestors, refused it - so the youngest breeding female in House Arinniti gets to keep living.” I grunted because I knew who Arinniti was, or had been.“Vessels for the Ancestors?” Violet gasped.“Arinniti - that name rings a bell,” Buffy mumbled.“She’s one of the twenty founding bloodlines,” Aya gladly provided. Katrina took her seat behind her desk and regarded me with something between amusement, annoyance, and pride. Oh, and sex.“Violet, Cáel held a weapon in the presence of Hayden - the spear that Oneida had dropped to seal her pledge. If he was a male acting alone, he would have to be killed. Is that the course of action you wish to recommend to the High Priestess?” Katrina suggested.“Ancestors work for me,” Violet gulped.“You can’t take back a Death Pledge,” Buffy turned to Katrina. “It is a Death Pledge.”“It appears you can if Cáel is in the room,” Katrina smirked.“Best Daddy ever!” Aya yipped. “He caught the spear before it hit the ground and held it until Hayden came by and read the signs from the Ancestors that Cáel was supposed to retract Oneida’s words. Hayden even had Oneida stand on the spear, but Da - Cáel didn’t let it fall.”“Maybe the Ancestors think Cáel is sexy too,” Aya added. Groan.“They had better not,” Buffy spun back to me threateningly. Fine, if some undead man-haters thought I was hot…sigh…that might entail there would be no rest for me even in the afterlife.“Buffy, do you have plans for this weekend?” I glared.“Why?” she snapped.“Great. Katrina, I want Buffy to be my bodyguard for this weekend,” I looked to my boss. Aya almost slipped up, but bit her lip to hold herself back.“Fine,” Katrina grumbled. “I promised you that you could choose your guardian. I was truly hoping you would pick among the candidates from SD I suggested, but so be it.”“I have to be around him all weekend?” Buffy howled.“Yeah,” I exhaled happily, “and I plan to have sex all weekend long.” From the look on Buffy’s face, she knew she was going to die. She was going to see me having sex with someone else, snap, kill me then kill herself out of shame and grief. Yep, she was going to die.It turned out Aya was off to Amazon Summer Camp for Squirts. We quickly arranged a series of smoke signals she could use to send for me if she was in danger. Desiree rolled her eyes, hefted Aya’s luggage and left with my tiny boon companion. I sobbed.“Katrina, can I go see her when she’s at camp?” I turned to my boss.“Cáel Nyilas, this is a place where we send our greatest treasure - our children,” Katrina smirked. “We will not discuss the abuse of power it would be for me to reveal the location to you.”“Cool…Daphne, where is it?” I turned to my closest female new hire.“I won’t tell you and it changes every year,” Daphne smiled.“But you know where it is this year,” I persisted.“I didn’t say I didn’t,” Daphne beamed.“Fine. Come home with me. While my ogress henchwoman holds you down, I’ll tickle the truth out of you,” I menaced.“Buffy don’t!” Tigger shouted. Buffy was about to brain me with my reading lamp. I was fearless.“Okay, Bubbles,” I beamed vindictively. “Go get us a car and make it snappy.” There was a hush. “What? Did I use any words that were too big for you to understand?”Buffy’s screamed caused people to reach for their sidearm three floors away. She stormed out, thankfully not running over anyone.“Do you want to die?” Violet tugged my sleeve.“Let the 'Lost Blood’ (Old Kingdom Hittite) deal with him,” Fabiola sneered. “They are both annoyances.”I took a deep breath.“Fabiola, your laws regulate what I can and can’t say to you,” I stared at her. “Instead, I beseech you to never insult a 'Runner’ (Old Kingdom Hittite) in my presence again.”“Buffy is a 'Lost Blood’ (Old Kingdom Hittite),” Fabiola defied me. I took another deep breath then hobbled over to Katrina’s desk, retrieved a pen, piece of paper and a nice, soapstone-encased lighter.By the time I got back to my desk, I certainly had the new hires’ attention. Since Fabiola was a Latin name, I had to guess at what it would look like in the Amazon alphabet.“Daphne, is this right?” I asked. She shook her head. She wouldn’t give me the answer. I got it on the third try. I showed Fabiola her name on the paper then burned it. I rubbed the ashes between my palms then showed Fabiola my blackened palms.“What does that mean?” Paula inquired. She was worried. I was both flamboyant and hardcore at the same time.“Who cares?” Fabiola mocked me.“'Ghost’” I said in Old Kingdom Hittite. It took them a few seconds to realize it had a second definition - invisible.I had no doubt Katrina fully understood the implications of my actions.“Cáel, I will have to consult with Hayden over this,” Katrina mused. I gave a nod, collected my stuff and headed for the elevator.“Katrina, what did he do?” Dora chimed in.“He murdered Fabiola,” Katrina enlightened them. “In his mind, she no longer exists.”“Can he do that?” Violet wondered. Fabiola took after me.“Cáel,” she called out. I ignored her. She caught up. “Cael.” Ignored. Then she shoved me from behind in the shoulder. I kept walking.“Don’t you ignore me!” she seethed. Daphne was coming up fast.“Leave him alone,” Daphne insisted. Fabiola shoved me again. I was almost at the elevator.“Don’t,” Helena came up. She was aiming for Daphne because Daphne was about to kick Fabiola.“She’s insulting you!” Daphne reacted to Helena while pointing at Fabiola.“He is a man,” Helena explained. “We don’t fight over men.” Meaning that couldn’t be the primary excuse, not that it never happened.“Katrina, make me Cáel’s boss,” Fabiola shouted.Well, I would never dare shout at Katrina unless her life was on the line. Also, technically Fabiola couldn’t be my boss, being a 'new hire’ and all.“Cáel Nyilas, Fabiola is your boss for the next five minutes,” Katrina intoned. Oh fuck.“Cáel, to my side,” Fabiola gloated. I looked past her to Katrina, sighed and punched the elevator button.“Don’t turn your back on me,” Fabiola snarled. A tug of war developed. She kept trying to turn me away from the elevator doors and I refused to be budged. Fabiola drew her blade. Shit.“You cannot run far enough away that I will let you get away with that,” Daphne seethed in Old Kingdom Hittite. Fabiola was about to meet that challenge.“What are you doing?” Katrina had been coming out of her office when she caught the exchange.“I…” Daphne stammered. She’d screwed up.“Apologize,” Katrina commanded. Daphne apologized grudgingly. The doors opened. “Cáel, hold the door.” I did.“Cáel, to my side,” Fabiola repeated. She thought she was about to win. I stayed where I was.“Fabiola, he can’t hear you,” Katrina pointed out.“Of course he can hear me,” Fabiola rebutted.“No - no he can’t,” Katrina remained calm. “You have rendered yourself dead to him. Since he is not a priestess, or augur, he cannot hear the voices of the dead.”“He cannot willfully decide he can’t hear me,” Fabiola demanded.“Oh, I agree. That would be wrong for him to willfully ignore any Havenstone female. Conversely, he can’t allow any of our women to be harmed either,” Katrina explained patiently. “So, when he witnessed an assault on the spirit of our women, he attempted to address it.”“He approached the perpetrator and politely asked them to refrain from that activity. He was rebuffed. It wasn’t like he could physically resolve the issue. To resolve that internal conflict - to defend his sisters but not attack a sister, he symbolically killed the problem. This allowed him to constantly and continuously forget the cause of this disruption.”“He can’t do that,” Fabiola persisted.“Actually, it is pure Cáel,” Katrina smirked. “I personally unaware of any scripture, bylaw, or statute that forbids him from doing this. I have given you a reasonable argument that explains his actions. He is essentially working through two conflicting orders.”“Now Fabiola, as a perspective leader, what do you suggest he do? Let you force him to be relocated when he breaks your jaw? Let you insult half of Havenstone’s staff until one day, one of them snaps and you end up in a Newark landfill? That would be wrong of him to do as he is supposed to lay his life down for us,” Katrina kept at it. “What do you suggest?”“How do you resolve the crisis? Before you answer that, consider the fate of Leona,” Katrina gave a predatory twist of the lips that would make a Momma T-Rex proud.“This male is making us fight amongst ourselves,” Fabiola complained.“I’m not fighting just for the male,” Daphne growled. “I’m fighting to have offspring that are strong in both body and mind.”“Hey,” Helena snorted, “can you imagine how much tougher the women in Acquisitions and Business Management have it? We get to talk about the New Directive without fear of weirding Cáel out.”“Please believe me,” I chuckled. “I’m still weirded out. There is simply nothing I can do about it so I get on with my day.”“I don’t understand any of you,” Fabiola protested.“Fabiola, will Aya die?” Katrina asked.“Yes.”“Why?” Katrina continued.“She is small, weak and hyperactive,” Fabiola explained.“Cáel, will Aya die?”“No.”“Why?” Katrina gazed at me. “Isn’t she small, weak and hyperactive?”“Sure, she’s small now, but she’s only nine. Look at the size of all the other women in her house. None of them are super-tall either,” I answered. “She’s not hyperactive. She is very bright with a very active imagination. Once she finds her 'stillness’ - her center - she’ll do fine. If anything, she’s too smart. She figures out that her guardians are worried, why they are worried and has to fight against their disappointment every time she does anything.”Fabiola snorted, proving yet again she was clueless to her surroundings.“After all, Katrina, she’s related to you and you are one of the scariest-smart people I’ve ever had the pleasure to know,” I smiled. I could reply to Fabiola while not replying.“Cáel, go. You are unlikely to survive Buffy as it is,” Katrina directed.Buffy was indeed apoplectic. She did manage to let me retrieve my bike before driving me home. Since I was dragging both all my business clothes, toiletries and my bike upstairs with crutches, it was painfully comical. A furious Buffy relented and took a few of my things. We had barely made it in the door when my phone rang.Buffy dumped my belongings in the center of the living room.“Hey,” I answered the phone.“Hey, it’s Odette,” she greeted me happily. “Are you still in the HQ?”“Nope Odette,” I grinned at Buffy. “I’m home. Do you want to come over?”“Sure…it’s not going to be a problem, is it?” she asked.“I have a good friend over, but if you can stand my illicit behavior, you are more than welcome,” I informed her.“Cool,” she chirped. “I’ll be over in about an hour.”“See you soon. Until then Odette,” I said.“Now I have to watch you fuck a whore?” Buffy stared at the ground. I wasn’t going to go after for the 'whore’ thing. She was at the end of her endurance. I knew that. I limped in front of her and pulled out her phone. She was too angry to look up at me so I knelt down.“Buffy,” I showed her the text from Katrina about my six hour sexual exemption. She looked up and read it.“So? What does this mean?” Buffy looked ready to explode in tears and fists.“It means that when Constanza had her sword aimed at my throat I figured out a way to ease some of your fears,” I stated. She blinked.“You worried that I’d be dead by the end of the month, and I did promise to try and make you the first Havenstone woman I made love to,” I explained.“Constanza was about to kill you and you were thinking of me?” is what Buffy got out of all that.“Yeah. I also realized that Aya was far calmer than she was last Saturday, but the major thing was how to ask Katrina for the exemption and lure you here for the weekend,” I told her.“Weekend?” Buffy studied me intently.“Yeah,” I grinned seductively.“See, I figure we time everything. When we start something naughty, we cut on the timer and the moment we are done, we cut it off,” I met her gaze. “That way me squeeze as much out of the six hours as possible - if that’s what you want to do?” Buffy hugged me suddenly.“You were about to die and I was the one you were thinking about,” Buffy wept.By that, I meant she fell apart emotionally. I had always seen Buffy so fierce that I was caught off-guard by this open vulnerability. I hugged her back and snuggled her close. She sniffled for several seconds.“This doesn’t count, does it?” she hiccupped.“This is purely platonic. I’m bonding with my supervisor - team-building,” I stated firmly.“Oh Goddess, you are crazy, you are crazy, you are crazy,” she murmured into my shoulder.“Okay, I’m crazy. I also really want to have sex with you,” I pushed her back so we could look eye to eye. “Or, are you going to make me beg like a big baby?”“I really want to have sex with you too,” Buffy smiled…romantically. The fiery freakiness was gone to be replaced by a deeply sensual, gentle spirit. What the hell?“Let’s go to the bedroom,” I suggested. “We can try out the sofa later.”“Is your leg going to be okay?” she suddenly worried.“Which one? Two of the three are working fine,” I teased. No anger.“I love your sense of humor,” Buffy snickered. I repeat - Huh? We stripped down then crawled under the sheets. Buffy was demure, calm and at peace.“Buffy, I don’t want to ruin the mood,” I said as I pulled her close.“But you are not acting normal and I don’t know what to make of it,” I completed.“I won,” Buffy stroked my cheek lovingly. “I beat out everyone else for you. I gave it everything I had, you recognized that and came to me. This is me being happy, Cáel. Would you prefer me to be combative?”“I prefer you,” I teased. The 'thank you’ hovered right on the other side of unspoken. It wasn’t in her. She was starting to get amorous. I pulled away to Buffy’s momentary confusion then the condom came out, I ripped open the packet, slipped on the prophylactic and returned to my lover. I was about to slip into Buffy, missionary style.“Wait!” she stopped me. She hit two buttons on her wrist watch. “Timer,” she explained. In I went. Buffy gasped slightly then began moving her legs up along my thighs. Years of experience made this a slow, gentle screw. This wasn’t me wasting time; Buffy wanted savagery later. For her triumphal moment, she wanted to savor every second of this first time with her prize - me.Tender kissing and nuzzling were the signs of our affection. She ran her hands over my shoulders, back and buttock. I would balance on my right arm while I coaxed delightful hums from Buffy. This was not Buffy’s first time. By the level of stimulation she was giving me, this was unlikely to even be her 100th time. She knew her stuff.She had mentioned me physically and cerebrally engaging her being a reason she was so desperate to 'have’ me. I had misinterpreted that. Buffy wanted a sex partner that could keep up in a way that went far beyond stamina - she hungered for matching skill and maturity. She could give me subtle clues with her body and I’d pick up on them, folding them back into my own actions and signals.There aren’t too many that can meet me orgasm for orgasm. Buffy did. She crested to her climax first, but I was only seconds behind her. Before my final ejaculations, I rolled us over so that she was on top. I tried wiggle my cock out of her vagina. Buffy resisted.“Don’t pull out yet,” Buffy requested.“If I pull out, we can stop the clock,” I insisted.“Oh,” she giggled, “me lying naked on top of you in your bed isn’t 'inappropriate behavior’?”“I won’t tell if you won’t,” I snickered. Buffy cut of the timer on her wristwatch. Buffy was bringing her breathing under control and getting comfortable with our sweatiness.“If you hadn’t been as good as your hype,” Buffy whispered after a minute, “I think I would have fallen apart…and killed you…then probably myself.”“Whoa,” I reacted. “Explain that. Girls wanting to kill me is fine. Girls killing themselves for anything remotely involving me isn’t.” She mulled that over. She wasn’t going to apologize yet felt a need to share something. I had to be patient.I’ve been with a lot of girls and a few guys who didn’t take rejection well. That rarely had anything to do with the actual rejection. It was some festering wound much deeper and older than their encounter with me.“In high school I discovered the wonders of sex. I loved it. Not the lover, but the carnal act. I’d screw anyone, as long as it was something new and different,” Buffy confided.“After a few bad incidents, my parents - my stepfather and my mother - threw me out because they thought I was a bad influence for my two younger sisters. I went to a city and did the only thing I was good at. I met this guy - you know the story. He would protect me, love me, blah, blah, blah,” Buffy recalled painfully.“Slowly the sex stopped being fun. It was money and not my money at that. One night I got sick of it. 'He’ wanted me to perform, I told him I was leaving so he and two buddies raped me. They raped me a lot over the next two days while they smoked meth and drank,” she continued. “Finally, when they all passed out, I went to the place where he had his gun.”“That wasn’t going to be good enough for me,” she tilted her head up to study my eyes. “I got his baseball bat instead and knocked them all out real good. I found a few garbage bag twist ties, tied their hands behind their backs and went at all three with a knife. I gutted them a bit so they were awake and in a shitload of pain…then I hacked their cocks and balls off.”I was less revolted than I thought I’d be. I still felt my dick shrivel and my balls trying to retract into my bodies. I certainly wasn’t going to joke about it; this was a serious sensitive moment for her. I stroked her hair. I could live with this revelation. I wasn’t sure why I could, but my heart and mind weren’t freaking out, so I went with my instincts.“I had barely finished up when the cops came bursting in. I had taken far longer torturing them than I imagined and their screams had been heard all over the housing complex. They Tasered me, I went to jail and finally to trial. My defense attorney argued an 'Insanity’ Plea and I ended up in a mental facility,” she was clearly relieved that I wasn’t terrified.“A few months later, Katrina showed up,” Buffy continued. “She wasn’t where she is today. We talked a great deal, but there were only two crucial questions for her. 'Do you regret killing those men?’ and 'Can you have sex again?’ I answered 'no’ and 'yes’ after some thought. Two weeks later, I was transferred to a Havenstone facility, they cleaned me up, trained me, and I was stationed here.”“What is with you and Elsa?” I prodded a handful of minutes later.“Don’t go there, Cáel,” Buffy muttered.“Do you seriously want me to confront her not knowing the whole score?” I countered.“She is a complete and total racist Bitch,” she grumbled.“Please don’t tell me it was a sex contest,” I groaned. “If she is better than you, I’m going to die.” Her grumbling lack of an explanation allowed me to crack a joke. Buffy 'punished’ me by kissing my chin.“No, it wasn’t a pussy-thing. If she can fuck you better than me, you have my permission to die,” she smiled playfully.Scary. I was so used to her being scary, Buffy not being scary was scaring me. Push?“Well, the only thing I can do then is a Buffy-Elsa-Cáel three-way,” I sighed.“Okay,” Buffy murmured.“Stop it!” I shouted. “You are freaking me out.”Buffy giggled. I was howling off into madness on the inside.“I think you have company coming soon. We should get clean and put some clothes on,” she exhaled joyously. By dressed, Buffy meant putting on my dress shirt - unbuttoned. She was like that, cross-legged on the sofa, eating Cheese Puffs and watching 'Real Housewives of Mumbai’ when Odette arrived.It took Odette a second to realize this Buffy was the same firecracker from the last time they met.“Hi - um,” Odette started.“We are fine. He fucked me. I’m in a state of grace,” Buffy explained pleasantly…without a hint of menace, or fury.“Buffy - Odette Sievert,” I made introductions. “Odette - Buffy Dubois.” Odette strode right over to the sofa and plopped down beside Buffy. I had to struggle to not flinch.“He gives an incredible dicking, doesn’t he?” Odette bubbled.“Yes,” Buffy purred, “Yes, he does that and more. You are new to this whole 'love-making thing, aren’t you?”“Pretty much,” Odette openly admitted. “He gave me my first orgasm. I didn’t realize how good sex was until I met Cáel.”“I didn’t realize how good sex was until I met me either,” I joked.“Trust me,” Buffy patted Odette’s thigh, “I know a great deal about sex and I can assure you he’s really, really good.”“You are not wearing underwear,” Odette noted. Life only got more bizarre.“Why don’t you go into the bedroom, get one of his used dress shirts and put it on - and nothing else,” Buffy advised. “It is a wonderful experience.”“Oh God, don’t I know it,” Odette exulted. She jumped up and skipped into my bedroom.“Don’t play with her,” I cautioned Buffy. Buffy studied me then gave me a glowing look.“I’m trying to be a better companion Cáel,” she told me. “I know I’ve put you through hell. I’m not going to apologize. I like the look of fear in your eyes. It is only matched by that look that says 'I’ll get you for this’,” she chuckled.“Just for that, its reverse cowgirl for you the next time we make love,” I threatened.“How is that a threat?” Buffy teased. “I am absolutely positive you like my butt.”“I bet he likes all of you,” Odette sang out as she came out twirling in another one of my dressed shirts and nothing else.Odette had change really quick. I knew she came over bra-less. I was suspecting no underwear, or socks too. She sat down tightly next to Buffy.“So, how is this 'sharing’ thing going to work?” Odette looked back and forth between us.“Have you ever been with a woman?” Buffy asked. “Don’t be embarrassed about curiosity.”“Aaahhh…well, a little,” Odette stammered.“Here is how it works,” Buffy patted Odette’s nervous hand. “I can only have sex with Cáel for five and a half more hours for the entire weekend. Since I like sex and you are here, I’m certainly interested in you.”“Odette,” she reassured my bed-buddy, “there is no pressure. I have gotten the most important thing - quality time with Cáel. Everything else is a bonus.”“Oh - I’m okay with that,” Odette nodded. Then she leaned in to kiss Buffy…maybe I should create a 'Sex for Beginners’ CD. I was working gangbusters on expanding Odette’s sexual horizons.Buffy wrapped a hand in Odette’s hair and drew her into a steamer kiss. I settled in behind Odette, switching kisses between the back of Odette’s head and Buffy’s hand.“Wow,” Odette panted. “You taste different than any guy I’ve kissed. I like it, but I like Cáel better.”Before anyone thinks this never happens, or 'only in Hollywood (West Hollywood, that is), please understand I went to a rural college with a 70% female student enrollment. Convincing a girl to engage in a little girl-on-girl action to 'get me extra aroused’ is insanely easy. The few times a lady has asked if I’d kiss a guy to get her 'extra aroused’, I said 'for her and only for her’.Works every time. I’ve kissed a few guys, but only for charity. Fine…I’ve kissed a few guys in gay bars because Timothy intimated that we’d get our butts kicked if I didn’t. He may have been playing me, but for all the shit I put him through, I can live with that. Back to the story: we had Odette in my bed in no time.I was on the bottom, Odette was lying on me, back to my chest and I was using my hips to piston into her while she moaned on top of me. Buffy was alternating between tantalizing Odette’s clit and teasing her nipples. Using a very liberal definition for 'touching me’, we decided that this wasn’t consuming any of our 'exemption’ time.Three orgasms later, Buffy poured an uber-contented Odette into her/my shirt and I carried her to the sofa. I put Odette’s head in Buffy’s lap, Buffy twirling Odette’s forelock and Odette humming a happy tune. I was getting some apple and orange juice when Timothy’s keys jangled in the door. He walked into the apartment and soaked up the scene.I took in that it was barely 8:30 and Timothy was in his date clothes. A seriously not-good situation. I diverted to him, drinks in hand, and hugged him.“Sorry Bro,” I murmured. He hugged me back. “Buffy DuBois, this is Timothy.”“Buffy? The crazy chick who wanted a hug?” Timothy chuckled.“She’s not…” Odette mumbled.“Yes, that would be me,” Buffy grinned sedately. Timothy looked down and shook his head.“That is some dick,” he groused. “Damn Bro, "Timothy regarded me with some amusement, "did you bother to get her panties off, or was the mere thought of sex with you enough to cause a complete personality reversal?”“Cáel,” Odette raised a shake arm and commanded loftily, “put the drinks down and get us some ice cream. It is Bonding Time.” She meant commiserating with Timothy over his dating failure. Timothy trundled off to his bedroom muttering something about 'getting into something more comfortable’ and I delivered the drinks then doubled back for the ice cream and four spoons.Timothy ended up on the floor with his head resting against Odette’s stomach. I offered to take the bottom spot. Timothy accepted the gesture then pointed out I was the guy with the bum leg. I ended up with Odette’s feet in my lap. The flavor of the night was Cherry Vanilla and we were all making inroads into the supply quickly.Timothy dialed up Ninja Assassin on Netflix. Ten minutes in I realized why. There was this Asian actor who was really hot and extremely physically fit. Odette agreed.“You two can’t believe any of this is real,” Buffy commented shortly after. “This is absurd. Nothing and no one kills like that.” She had professional pride after all.It hadn’t taken me three days to figure out that the Executive Service babes’ main purpose in life was not laundry delivery. They went everywhere and saw everything - just like a secret police force. Odd, huh?“Speaking of absurd and unreal,” Timothy snickered.“Cáel, two ladies screaming Extreme High Maintenance showed up this morning. Apparently you weren’t answering your phone, work said you were out of the office, and some spooky chicks at Havenstone showed them the door with something akin to a threat of lethal violence,” he continued. “From long experience as your roommate, I could tell you’d fucked them to Nirvana and they wanted more.”“From long experience’?” Buffy wondered. “You haven’t known him two months yet.”“Lady, this happens at least once a week with this guy. You are playing with the hair of one of those women right now,&rdqu

Steamy Stories
Life As A New Hire: part 10

Steamy Stories

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2022


With all the fighting & sex, my work reviews should suck.By FinalStand. Listen and subscribe to the podcast at Steamy Stories.-Saving a life isn’t about worthiness. It is about instinct and guts.-(Friday)Since I liked to think that life encouraging me with bruises, punctures, cuts and concussions made me smarter, I had scheduled some eleven o'clock gym time most of the week so to avoid the whole lunch and after-work crowds. Aya and I went to the ‘Others’ gym, which was nice, but wasn’t as complete as the Full/Pure-blood one. Most notable was the lack of weapons.Aya’s and my trip to the 'Other’ gym on Friday hit a snag. Aya clued in on the fact that I was avoiding the Pure-blood facility. We talked about it. I explained I wasn’t a Pure-blood. Her counter-argument was she was and I should confront my fears. Yes, I lost an argument with a nine year old.I have talked a nineteen year old, promise ring virgin into nameless sex in an airport stall. Aya was an unassailable wall of resolve that dashed all of my ploys into so many useless words. I found myself entering the real 'No Man’s Land’ twice in less than a week. Not only was I hard-headed, I was also obviously soft-hearted.At the last moment, I imagined I had a reprieve. I didn’t have to tell Aya how I got in the first time - grabbing an open door. I could swipe my card, have it rejected and move on to safer pursuits. Sure enough, my card failed. Aya’s didn’t - mother-puss-bucket! Upon entering, the twenty, or so women in the place looked at me…and Aya.I recognized somebody. It was Constanza, Elsa’s chief evil henchwoman. Our eyes met. She smiled in a way that assured me she vividly recalled our last encounter. It should be of no surprise that I insulted her somewhere in the process. It’s how I roll. I smiled back at Constanza and gave her a nod before setting up Aya and me for our workout routine.Constanza was not mollified in the slightest. She was patiently waiting - for something. I decided that Aya would be my sole focus and banished the other women from my mind. The munchkin could tell the difference and relayed that to me with her happiness. After twenty minutes, she decided her time with the machines was done and her minutes were better spent resting against, or sitting on, me.My cock was reminding me that it was approaching 36 torturous hours without sex. It was also pointing out that there were thirty available, sexually inquisitive women achingly close. I reminded my penis that being relocated was probably as fun-less as it sounded. That bought me some time. We finished up our sojourn by walking the wall, going over the weapon racks.Mainly we went over the ones various members of her family were proficient with. Aya still had problems with even the most basic ones. The words 'let me help you’ spilled out of my mouth. There were two problems; Aya’s tiny size and the fact that all the weapons were very dangerous. Even the leaf-shaped short blade was too heavy for her so we ended up screwing around instead.I picked up two Iron Age style axes. The blades were more of a thick wedge than the broad axe heads of medieval fame. They were less effective in delivering damage, compensating somewhat in their reduced weight. I’ve convinced a Jewish girl to have sex in a synagogue despite me not being Jewish yet this child was twirling me around her pinkie finger.I was entertaining her with some exotic, flamboyant moves wielding two axes while Aya clapped her hands and giggled when I felt a stranger approach me on the sparring mat. I had been hopping around keeping all my weight on my right leg until that moment. I turned to face the woman, putting my left behind me yet while keeping it firmly on the ground.I also drew my axes up, crossing them over my chest, blades pointing past my shoulders.“I have never seen that technique before,” she addressed me. That and what followed was all in the Amazon tongue.“It is more of a fantasy creation. I had a love affair with pseudo-archaic movies that always do the crazy, two-weapon stuff so my mentor helped me create this method,” I explained.“Has it ever been tested?” she continued.“I am Cáel Nyilas,” I answered, “and yes, my mentor preferred using a poleaxe, or a mace/shield combo against me.”“Oneida,” she seemed amused. “We will see how well you have been tested.”“May I request a favor?” I tried to keep my cool. She pulled out one of those damn spears.“Yes,” she seemed intrigued.“Can you call someone over to sit with Aya? I don’t want her to accidently set foot on the mat,” I beseeched.“Drusilla, please aid me,” Oneida summoned an observer. The woman had heard my appeal and settled beside the nervous, kneeling Aya.“Cáel, please be careful,” Aya pleaded.“Who me?” I chuckled. “I’m impervious to all man-made contrivances.”“Every weapon in this room was crafted by women,” Oneida snorted.“That would certainly explain my full-body bruising and the hole in my leg,” I grinned back. I caught Oneida trying to sneak closer to me. My axes came to a ready position and I charged. I was sure some sort of medic would punish me for this later.She got off two jabs then I was all over her. I knew how to fight a two and a half meter spear. She had no clue how to plot out two incoming weapons with an extra meter of reach. The first time I drove her off the mat. The second time, I got inside her guard and clocked her in the temple with the back end of an axe head. I quickly hopped back three paces, knelt and put my axes on the mat.The rush to get me was stillborn. A few did come to stand over me while two others checked on Oneida who quickly came around.“What happened?” were Oneida’s first, shaky words.“He hit you,” one of her companions answered.“With what - the Moon?” Oneida mumbled as they helped her up. “My ears are still ringing.”“My turn,” Constanza announced. She went for a spear, blade, and round leather-covered, wicker shield.“Give Cáel a moment to rest,” Aya appealed. “He has been fighting longer.”No such luck. I was halfway to exhausted as well. Fighting with two weapons pretty much means just that - twice the fight. Kinetically speaking, I was burning around 80% more calories than my one weapon opponents. I was wielding axes, not fighting sticks after all. In my favor was a deep wellspring of stamina and my Will reinforced by my desire to not upset Aya.What little time I was given wasn’t out of charity. A second Amazon was joining the struggle. I could back off, but I felt Constanza would enforce an intense level of groveling solely to grind up Aya emotionally. She didn’t hate Aya. Aya was an avenue to really hurt me and we both knew it. For a second, when I hobbled off the mat, there were chuckles. I had fled.That ended as I began retrieving some select weapons from the wall racks. Sword harnesses came in two varieties; belted and shoulder slings. I took two shoulder slings and two more axes. I affixed my two 'spare’ axes with leather straps. As I turned to the mat, Constanza had decided to be clever. She and her buddy had closed to within three meters of the edge.They would box me in as soon as my second foot touched down on the mat.“Please back up,” I requested. Constanza smiled with supreme confidence. I smiled back. This was going to be dangerous, agonizing and unorthodox - totally me. I began backing up.“Cáel,” Aya murmured. “Don’t let them hurt you.”“Running away?” Constanza sneered.“Aya, wickedness is the expedience of the weak,” I nodded her way. “Do you think I can win?”“Of course,” Aya sighed happily. “I am by your side.” I laughed. I charged. The Amazons did the precisely wrong thing - the stepped up to meet me.You keep thrusting weapons, like spears, aimed at the central part of the body. This allows you to deviate your projection anywhere from the thighs to the face. This does imply you know where the central part of the enemy will be. This was not playschool. Real weapons - real damage - real death. They didn’t have to kill me. It didn’t mean they wouldn’t.I leapt. I didn’t leap at them, I leapt over them. Let’s not forget I’m pretty freaking strong. My left leg shot-gunned pain straight to the brain but held it together. I sailed over their thrusting spear points, flipped my axes down so that they would impact the mats first. The flat tops of the axe heads impacted the mat and my body rose up and then flipped over them.This gave me an extra meter and a half on my back flip. I turned that maneuver into summersault, giving three more meters of space. I rolled over to my side and rode the momentum to my feet, facing my adversaries. Now they were the ones in the corner of the mat with their enemy pinning them in and I wasn’t done yet.With all my might, I hurled my right-handed axe at Constanza’s companion. She did exactly what I thought she’d do. She saw the throw halfway in motion and raised her shield up - right where I wanted it. Amazon shields aren’t what most people think shields are today. They think medieval knights, or more appropriately, the shields of the Greek hoplites.The Amazons date back 700 years before those Greeks and they weren’t heavy infantry anyway. Amazons moved light and fast. Consequently, their shields were light - wicker constructs with layers of leather stretched over the frame. Great for deflecting light weapons; not so great for what I was about to do.The steel axe head shattered the top half of the wicker frame. It saved her life, but now she had this useless object strapped to her arm. It also had the added bonus of knocking her back while Constanza engaged me alone. Her first jab forced me to jump back, but I still was able to draw my first spare axe.My luck with women held up a little longer. The other Amazon hesitated just long enough to remove her shattered shield. Alone with Constanza, I attacked. She thrust, I captured her spear head between my axe handles and yanked her forward. We kicked out simultaneously. Her off-balanced strike brushed past my abused left leg. My right kick hit her shield and knocked her down.Her grip on the spear slipped and I propelled it somewhere behind me. Constanza pulled off a reverse summersaulted while drawing her short blade. A really nice move. Unfortunately, it moved her away from the chick with the spear, who hesitated again. This time she took the thrown axe straight to the head - back end impacting. I didn’t want to kill her.Constanza anticipated my next action. It came down to position, distance, and stride length and they all favored me. We raced to the downed companion. My left-handed axes flat side slammed into her forehead, rendering her unconscious, and I kicked her spear off the mat - out of bounds. I slowly backed away from Constanza and readied my second spare axe.“Retire from the field,” I panted. I was physically failing fast.“Why should I?” Constanza glared. “You are about to fall over.”“Aya won’t let me fall,” I stared her down. “You couldn’t beat me with a companion and a spear, Constanza. Do you really think a shield and sword will work any better.”“Let’s find out,” she charged. I really needed the short breather to recover somewhat.The short Amazon blade was an excellent close-in weapon. I never let her get close enough to use it. Tandem axes allowed me to shred her shield while keeping her at arm’s length. My axe bit into her upper left arm right above the elbow. Constanza hissed instead of screaming. She did stagger back. I hopped back three steps, knelt and placed my axes on the mat at my side.“No!” Constanza howled. She came at me while I remained still. Her hand drew back for a killing thrust. I waited. Sparing my life didn’t stop her. The looks of her fellow Amazons held back her wrath. They wouldn’t stop her from slaughtering me, but that was exactly what it was - a butchery.Two things occurred to me: Aya was showing remarkably better control today than on Saturday, and I figured out a way to sleep with Buffy tonight. Being killed? Nah, worry about the things you have control over.“Constanza, he was instructing me,” Oneida stood up.She took up Constanza’s discarded spear and stepped toward us. What disturbed the gathering was how Oneida held it - sidewise, not ready for combat.“You do not intimidate me, Oneida,” Constanza growled.“You misunderstand,” Oneida intoned. “I would do this out of shame and despair.”“I will shear my hair, burn it and take myself to the cliffs to die childless,” she continued. “I leave whatever contempt you might possess for me to be conveyed to my House when they learn your actions have killed one of their last breeding females. The death of some male will not concern them. My death will. The shame I bear for killing a teacher will certainly interest many of our people.”“You wouldn’t dare,” Constanza scoffed. The spear dropped. Fuck that noise. I snatched the last quarter of the shaft before it hit the ground. No one seemed to understand what to do about that. Apparently my reaction was unique.“Yay!” Aya cheered. “He’s the best Daddy ever,” she loudly announced to the crowd.“Oneida, my apology, but Katrina has put her faith in me and the New Directive,” I adlibbed. “I am here to aid the recovery of your people, not diminish them. For the sake of Katrina’s honor, please reconsider.”“Cáel Nyilas,” Oneida smiled sadly, “this is not a pledge that can be retracted.”“Ah…doesn’t it only take effect when the weapon hits the ground?” I struggled. “I mean, otherwise dropping the weapon would be pointless - right?” I repeat, apparently this had never come up before. “This is kind of awkward. Can someone take this?” I meant the spear. I was worn to the bone and holding a long spear from one end, with one hand.Quickly calls went out to Hayden as well as a few department heads.“Constanza,” one of the Amazons spoke up, “if you attack the male, you will be actively sealing Oneida’s Death Pledge. Far fewer of us will understand that.”“How is it that you are so damn lucky?” Constanza growled at me.“You are asking this of a man, on his knees before you with your sword at his throat?” I countered. “Lucky isn’t you sparing my life. Lucky is me never having heard of this place - Except for Aya. She makes the rest of this hellish experience worthwhile.”“Best Daddy ever,” Aya chirped.“Hayden is on her way,” a different Amazon called out. Already a passel of newcomers were swarming the scene. Truly curious was the group looking mournfully at Oneida. One stepped forward.“Male, do you need something? Water?” she asked. I gave it some thought.“Could you sing?” I requested. “A nice soothing song of hope would be nice.” Blink. Like all panicked moments, nothing came to mind for several seconds. Oneida’s people rapidly bantered about some names then the questioner began singing. By the third song I was crying and shaking like a leaf. Constanza had fallen back enough to get her arm tended to.Twice Aya had tried to get me, lending me the tiniest bit more strength. Wisely, her minder kept her away from the possible conflict. There was a whole different level of commotion when Hayden arrived this time.“To bear a weapon in my presence is Death, Cáel,” Hayden stated.“I apologize for being a disappointing Male,” I grunted. “Pass on my regrets to Katrina.”“Drop the weapon and you will be spared. You will only be beaten,” Hayden gave a hint of a smile.“If I drop it, she dies,” I hissed. The ache in my right arm was exceeding that in my left leg.“I’m afraid I will have to decline,” I concluded.“If I kill you, the spear will drop and she’ll die anyway,” Hayden pointed out.“Sucks to be both of us, I guess,” I gasped.“Oneida, step on the spear. Push it down,” Hayden ordered. Hush. Oneida raised her foot.“You are stepping in the wrong place,” I huffed. She looked at me. My eyes flashed to the short side between my grip and my side.“Do you really think you can hold it up?” she questioned.“I know I’ll fail if you step anywhere else,” I tried to grin.“No matter what happens, you will die,” she murmured.“Not my chief concern right now,” I grunted. “Hurry.” Oneida put her foot on the short end.“It will help your balance if you place a hand on his shoulder,” Hayden noted. We both flashed Hayden a shocked look.Oneida stepped on the spear. It trembled and sunk down, barely millimeters off the mat. Her hand came to rest on the crux of my neck and shoulder. I felt my body about to tip over. I was at my limit. I almost missed the gasps whispering around the assembly. Oneida had her body off the ground. Hayden lowered herself so that she could witness there was a distance between the spear and the earth.“The spirits have not heard your pledge, Oneida,” Hayden declared as she regained her regal posture. “I suggest you weigh your words with greater care in the future. Retrieve your spear.” She turned and started to leave the gym. Oneida dismounted and snatched up her spear.“What of the male?” one of the spectators inquired. I didn’t care. I had fallen on my back.“At a moment of such great spiritual significance - the ancestral rejection of a Death Pledge, the action of any one male does not concern me,” Hayden remarked coldly. It wasn’t praise. It was a 'don’t fuck with him’. Around me a cultural conundrum was taking place. Not only could Oneida’s house not thank me because I was a male, they couldn’t thank me because, by Hayden’s decree, there was no life to be saved.Oneida bent over me on one knee.“You really shouldn’t be so eager to toss your life away, Cáel,” she smiled warmly. I was essentially immobile.“You have the most gorgeous blue-grey eyes,” I moaned.“You are thinking about that at a time like this?” she snorted. Her relatives were shockingly amused as well.“No time like the present. Besides, in 75 days you can all go out to some nature preserve and hunt me down with non-lethal weapons. Great way to spend a weekend.”I heard an authoritative cough. I looked up from my still prone position to see Katrina.“Cancel that Oneida. I’m about to get relocated to Antarctica where I’ll be tasked with teaching penguins how to arm wrestle,” I sighed.“Cáel, why do you think I’d be so nice to you after all the hell you cause me on a daily basis?” Katrina looked all menacing.“You recall how much I like winter sports?” I pleaded. “Hey - wait. I was good on Friday. Wasn’t I good on Friday?”“I don’t recall you having a good day yet, but I may double check. Can you stand?” Katrina asked.“Is that a question, or veiled order?” I muttered. “If the former - no. If that latter, I’ll die trying.” Using a combination of my right leg and left arm, I managed to struggle my way upright. By that time, Aya had circled the practice mat and was at Katrina’s side.“He was very brave,” Aya insisted. One of Oneida’s senior women coughed.“Nothing happened so nothing has changed,” Katrina stated. It was a lie and both sides knew it. It was the whole loyalty/martial valor thing. Inside their closed little minds a balancing act had taken place - my worthlessness as a male against Oneida’s value to her people. Aya was easy to discount as she was of Katrina’s house.I had no clue who Oneida was yet still rallied to her when she desperately needed help - Hayden’s obfuscation be damned. Yeah, Oneida had been young and foolish. Her challenge had been given to make Constanza back off. When Constanza called her bluff, pride took over. Oneida had been foolhardy and overly status conscious. Constanza had played Russian roulette with their House’s future and almost 'won’.She’d be wise to avoid darkened corridors for the next few weeks too. There was not only Oneida’s house but the houses allied to it to worry about despite Hayden’s expunging of the official record. For me, it was time to be dragged over to my cute doctor friend. I had been slashed twice by the spears during my jump and not noticed it - adrenaline no doubt.“Congratulations, you and Aya are forbidden to work. I thought keeping you in the building would be safer. I’m mature enough to admit I was wrong,” Katrina conceded. “No place is safe for you, or from you. I’m sending you home, under guard.”“Can I choose Buffy?” I perked up. Katrina arched an eyebrow.“I also need something,” I kept slaloming down toward Hell. “I need a six hour dispensation from you on the whole sex thing with employees.”“Oh Goddess,” Katrina laughed. “What part of me wanting you to stay alive have you missed?”“Are you going to sleep with my Mommy now?” Aya grinned.“No,” Katrina answered for me, “he’s going to play with Buffy.” Right on the money. One scary-smart woman without a doubt. “Best of all, I’ll let you assign Buffy to be your security for the night and you can tell her the good news when you get home. Aya, that means Cáel does, not you.”“Yes Aunt Katrina,” Aya moaped.She wanted me to be banging Caitlyn; her Momma. We would make love, Caitlyn would take me as her mate and I’d be Aya’s Daddy for real. She’d kill me a month later for my twelfth indiscretion. I’m not a fortuneteller. I’m a bookie and I knew the odds of me staying faithful were a sucker’s bet.The only questions were how many and with which one Caitlyn would kill me with. I wasn’t sure how to break that reality to Aya. After getting bandaged/tortured my doctor, cleaned up and redressed, I managed to survive the rest of the day without catastrophe.(Later)“Cáel, do you realize that you’ve been wounded more than most Security Detail recruits do during their basic training?” Violet teased me.Buffy was too furious for coherent speech.“It isn’t his fault, Buffy,” Aya pleaded. “He wasn’t seducing a woman, or anything like that. Oneida tried to sex him up all on her own.” Huh? “Constanza’s nipples were very aroused and we all know what she wanted.”I really was worrying about the twisted sexual education Aya was getting. She knew the terms, but was missing out on the complete meaning of what she was saying.“Oneida? Who the hell is Oneida?” Buffy growled.“She’s one of the new hires with Acquisitions,” Violet answered. Brian Fung’s group.“What were you making eyes at her for?” Buffy snarled possessively.“He didn’t,” Katrina swept into the office. “She made a Death Pledge and Cáel, acting as a vessel for our Ancestors, refused it - so the youngest breeding female in House Arinniti gets to keep living.” I grunted because I knew who Arinniti was, or had been.“Vessels for the Ancestors?” Violet gasped.“Arinniti - that name rings a bell,” Buffy mumbled.“She’s one of the twenty founding bloodlines,” Aya gladly provided. Katrina took her seat behind her desk and regarded me with something between amusement, annoyance, and pride. Oh, and sex.“Violet, Cáel held a weapon in the presence of Hayden - the spear that Oneida had dropped to seal her pledge. If he was a male acting alone, he would have to be killed. Is that the course of action you wish to recommend to the High Priestess?” Katrina suggested.“Ancestors work for me,” Violet gulped.“You can’t take back a Death Pledge,” Buffy turned to Katrina. “It is a Death Pledge.”“It appears you can if Cáel is in the room,” Katrina smirked.“Best Daddy ever!” Aya yipped. “He caught the spear before it hit the ground and held it until Hayden came by and read the signs from the Ancestors that Cáel was supposed to retract Oneida’s words. Hayden even had Oneida stand on the spear, but Da - Cáel didn’t let it fall.”“Maybe the Ancestors think Cáel is sexy too,” Aya added. Groan.“They had better not,” Buffy spun back to me threateningly. Fine, if some undead man-haters thought I was hot…sigh…that might entail there would be no rest for me even in the afterlife.“Buffy, do you have plans for this weekend?” I glared.“Why?” she snapped.“Great. Katrina, I want Buffy to be my bodyguard for this weekend,” I looked to my boss. Aya almost slipped up, but bit her lip to hold herself back.“Fine,” Katrina grumbled. “I promised you that you could choose your guardian. I was truly hoping you would pick among the candidates from SD I suggested, but so be it.”“I have to be around him all weekend?” Buffy howled.“Yeah,” I exhaled happily, “and I plan to have sex all weekend long.” From the look on Buffy’s face, she knew she was going to die. She was going to see me having sex with someone else, snap, kill me then kill herself out of shame and grief. Yep, she was going to die.It turned out Aya was off to Amazon Summer Camp for Squirts. We quickly arranged a series of smoke signals she could use to send for me if she was in danger. Desiree rolled her eyes, hefted Aya’s luggage and left with my tiny boon companion. I sobbed.“Katrina, can I go see her when she’s at camp?” I turned to my boss.“Cáel Nyilas, this is a place where we send our greatest treasure - our children,” Katrina smirked. “We will not discuss the abuse of power it would be for me to reveal the location to you.”“Cool…Daphne, where is it?” I turned to my closest female new hire.“I won’t tell you and it changes every year,” Daphne smiled.“But you know where it is this year,” I persisted.“I didn’t say I didn’t,” Daphne beamed.“Fine. Come home with me. While my ogress henchwoman holds you down, I’ll tickle the truth out of you,” I menaced.“Buffy don’t!” Tigger shouted. Buffy was about to brain me with my reading lamp. I was fearless.“Okay, Bubbles,” I beamed vindictively. “Go get us a car and make it snappy.” There was a hush. “What? Did I use any words that were too big for you to understand?”Buffy’s screamed caused people to reach for their sidearm three floors away. She stormed out, thankfully not running over anyone.“Do you want to die?” Violet tugged my sleeve.“Let the 'Lost Blood’ (Old Kingdom Hittite) deal with him,” Fabiola sneered. “They are both annoyances.”I took a deep breath.“Fabiola, your laws regulate what I can and can’t say to you,” I stared at her. “Instead, I beseech you to never insult a 'Runner’ (Old Kingdom Hittite) in my presence again.”“Buffy is a 'Lost Blood’ (Old Kingdom Hittite),” Fabiola defied me. I took another deep breath then hobbled over to Katrina’s desk, retrieved a pen, piece of paper and a nice, soapstone-encased lighter.By the time I got back to my desk, I certainly had the new hires’ attention. Since Fabiola was a Latin name, I had to guess at what it would look like in the Amazon alphabet.“Daphne, is this right?” I asked. She shook her head. She wouldn’t give me the answer. I got it on the third try. I showed Fabiola her name on the paper then burned it. I rubbed the ashes between my palms then showed Fabiola my blackened palms.“What does that mean?” Paula inquired. She was worried. I was both flamboyant and hardcore at the same time.“Who cares?” Fabiola mocked me.“'Ghost’” I said in Old Kingdom Hittite. It took them a few seconds to realize it had a second definition - invisible.I had no doubt Katrina fully understood the implications of my actions.“Cáel, I will have to consult with Hayden over this,” Katrina mused. I gave a nod, collected my stuff and headed for the elevator.“Katrina, what did he do?” Dora chimed in.“He murdered Fabiola,” Katrina enlightened them. “In his mind, she no longer exists.”“Can he do that?” Violet wondered. Fabiola took after me.“Cáel,” she called out. I ignored her. She caught up. “Cael.” Ignored. Then she shoved me from behind in the shoulder. I kept walking.“Don’t you ignore me!” she seethed. Daphne was coming up fast.“Leave him alone,” Daphne insisted. Fabiola shoved me again. I was almost at the elevator.“Don’t,” Helena came up. She was aiming for Daphne because Daphne was about to kick Fabiola.“She’s insulting you!” Daphne reacted to Helena while pointing at Fabiola.“He is a man,” Helena explained. “We don’t fight over men.” Meaning that couldn’t be the primary excuse, not that it never happened.“Katrina, make me Cáel’s boss,” Fabiola shouted.Well, I would never dare shout at Katrina unless her life was on the line. Also, technically Fabiola couldn’t be my boss, being a 'new hire’ and all.“Cáel Nyilas, Fabiola is your boss for the next five minutes,” Katrina intoned. Oh fuck.“Cáel, to my side,” Fabiola gloated. I looked past her to Katrina, sighed and punched the elevator button.“Don’t turn your back on me,” Fabiola snarled. A tug of war developed. She kept trying to turn me away from the elevator doors and I refused to be budged. Fabiola drew her blade. Shit.“You cannot run far enough away that I will let you get away with that,” Daphne seethed in Old Kingdom Hittite. Fabiola was about to meet that challenge.“What are you doing?” Katrina had been coming out of her office when she caught the exchange.“I…” Daphne stammered. She’d screwed up.“Apologize,” Katrina commanded. Daphne apologized grudgingly. The doors opened. “Cáel, hold the door.” I did.“Cáel, to my side,” Fabiola repeated. She thought she was about to win. I stayed where I was.“Fabiola, he can’t hear you,” Katrina pointed out.“Of course he can hear me,” Fabiola rebutted.“No - no he can’t,” Katrina remained calm. “You have rendered yourself dead to him. Since he is not a priestess, or augur, he cannot hear the voices of the dead.”“He cannot willfully decide he can’t hear me,” Fabiola demanded.“Oh, I agree. That would be wrong for him to willfully ignore any Havenstone female. Conversely, he can’t allow any of our women to be harmed either,” Katrina explained patiently. “So, when he witnessed an assault on the spirit of our women, he attempted to address it.”“He approached the perpetrator and politely asked them to refrain from that activity. He was rebuffed. It wasn’t like he could physically resolve the issue. To resolve that internal conflict - to defend his sisters but not attack a sister, he symbolically killed the problem. This allowed him to constantly and continuously forget the cause of this disruption.”“He can’t do that,” Fabiola persisted.“Actually, it is pure Cáel,” Katrina smirked. “I personally unaware of any scripture, bylaw, or statute that forbids him from doing this. I have given you a reasonable argument that explains his actions. He is essentially working through two conflicting orders.”“Now Fabiola, as a perspective leader, what do you suggest he do? Let you force him to be relocated when he breaks your jaw? Let you insult half of Havenstone’s staff until one day, one of them snaps and you end up in a Newark landfill? That would be wrong of him to do as he is supposed to lay his life down for us,” Katrina kept at it. “What do you suggest?”“How do you resolve the crisis? Before you answer that, consider the fate of Leona,” Katrina gave a predatory twist of the lips that would make a Momma T-Rex proud.“This male is making us fight amongst ourselves,” Fabiola complained.“I’m not fighting just for the male,” Daphne growled. “I’m fighting to have offspring that are strong in both body and mind.”“Hey,” Helena snorted, “can you imagine how much tougher the women in Acquisitions and Business Management have it? We get to talk about the New Directive without fear of weirding Cáel out.”“Please believe me,” I chuckled. “I’m still weirded out. There is simply nothing I can do about it so I get on with my day.”“I don’t understand any of you,” Fabiola protested.“Fabiola, will Aya die?” Katrina asked.“Yes.”“Why?” Katrina continued.“She is small, weak and hyperactive,” Fabiola explained.“Cáel, will Aya die?”“No.”“Why?” Katrina gazed at me. “Isn’t she small, weak and hyperactive?”“Sure, she’s small now, but she’s only nine. Look at the size of all the other women in her house. None of them are super-tall either,” I answered. “She’s not hyperactive. She is very bright with a very active imagination. Once she finds her 'stillness’ - her center - she’ll do fine. If anything, she’s too smart. She figures out that her guardians are worried, why they are worried and has to fight against their disappointment every time she does anything.”Fabiola snorted, proving yet again she was clueless to her surroundings.“After all, Katrina, she’s related to you and you are one of the scariest-smart people I’ve ever had the pleasure to know,” I smiled. I could reply to Fabiola while not replying.“Cáel, go. You are unlikely to survive Buffy as it is,” Katrina directed.Buffy was indeed apoplectic. She did manage to let me retrieve my bike before driving me home. Since I was dragging both all my business clothes, toiletries and my bike upstairs with crutches, it was painfully comical. A furious Buffy relented and took a few of my things. We had barely made it in the door when my phone rang.Buffy dumped my belongings in the center of the living room.“Hey,” I answered the phone.“Hey, it’s Odette,” she greeted me happily. “Are you still in the HQ?”“Nope Odette,” I grinned at Buffy. “I’m home. Do you want to come over?”“Sure…it’s not going to be a problem, is it?” she asked.“I have a good friend over, but if you can stand my illicit behavior, you are more than welcome,” I informed her.“Cool,” she chirped. “I’ll be over in about an hour.”“See you soon. Until then Odette,” I said.“Now I have to watch you fuck a whore?” Buffy stared at the ground. I wasn’t going to go after for the 'whore’ thing. She was at the end of her endurance. I knew that. I limped in front of her and pulled out her phone. She was too angry to look up at me so I knelt down.“Buffy,” I showed her the text from Katrina about my six hour sexual exemption. She looked up and read it.“So? What does this mean?” Buffy looked ready to explode in tears and fists.“It means that when Constanza had her sword aimed at my throat I figured out a way to ease some of your fears,” I stated. She blinked.“You worried that I’d be dead by the end of the month, and I did promise to try and make you the first Havenstone woman I made love to,” I explained.“Constanza was about to kill you and you were thinking of me?” is what Buffy got out of all that.“Yeah. I also realized that Aya was far calmer than she was last Saturday, but the major thing was how to ask Katrina for the exemption and lure you here for the weekend,” I told her.“Weekend?” Buffy studied me intently.“Yeah,” I grinned seductively.“See, I figure we time everything. When we start something naughty, we cut on the timer and the moment we are done, we cut it off,” I met her gaze. “That way me squeeze as much out of the six hours as possible - if that’s what you want to do?” Buffy hugged me suddenly.“You were about to die and I was the one you were thinking about,” Buffy wept.By that, I meant she fell apart emotionally. I had always seen Buffy so fierce that I was caught off-guard by this open vulnerability. I hugged her back and snuggled her close. She sniffled for several seconds.“This doesn’t count, does it?” she hiccupped.“This is purely platonic. I’m bonding with my supervisor - team-building,” I stated firmly.“Oh Goddess, you are crazy, you are crazy, you are crazy,” she murmured into my shoulder.“Okay, I’m crazy. I also really want to have sex with you,” I pushed her back so we could look eye to eye. “Or, are you going to make me beg like a big baby?”“I really want to have sex with you too,” Buffy smiled…romantically. The fiery freakiness was gone to be replaced by a deeply sensual, gentle spirit. What the hell?“Let’s go to the bedroom,” I suggested. “We can try out the sofa later.”“Is your leg going to be okay?” she suddenly worried.“Which one? Two of the three are working fine,” I teased. No anger.“I love your sense of humor,” Buffy snickered. I repeat - Huh? We stripped down then crawled under the sheets. Buffy was demure, calm and at peace.“Buffy, I don’t want to ruin the mood,” I said as I pulled her close.“But you are not acting normal and I don’t know what to make of it,” I completed.“I won,” Buffy stroked my cheek lovingly. “I beat out everyone else for you. I gave it everything I had, you recognized that and came to me. This is me being happy, Cáel. Would you prefer me to be combative?”“I prefer you,” I teased. The 'thank you’ hovered right on the other side of unspoken. It wasn’t in her. She was starting to get amorous. I pulled away to Buffy’s momentary confusion then the condom came out, I ripped open the packet, slipped on the prophylactic and returned to my lover. I was about to slip into Buffy, missionary style.“Wait!” she stopped me. She hit two buttons on her wrist watch. “Timer,” she explained. In I went. Buffy gasped slightly then began moving her legs up along my thighs. Years of experience made this a slow, gentle screw. This wasn’t me wasting time; Buffy wanted savagery later. For her triumphal moment, she wanted to savor every second of this first time with her prize - me.Tender kissing and nuzzling were the signs of our affection. She ran her hands over my shoulders, back and buttock. I would balance on my right arm while I coaxed delightful hums from Buffy. This was not Buffy’s first time. By the level of stimulation she was giving me, this was unlikely to even be her 100th time. She knew her stuff.She had mentioned me physically and cerebrally engaging her being a reason she was so desperate to 'have’ me. I had misinterpreted that. Buffy wanted a sex partner that could keep up in a way that went far beyond stamina - she hungered for matching skill and maturity. She could give me subtle clues with her body and I’d pick up on them, folding them back into my own actions and signals.There aren’t too many that can meet me orgasm for orgasm. Buffy did. She crested to her climax first, but I was only seconds behind her. Before my final ejaculations, I rolled us over so that she was on top. I tried wiggle my cock out of her vagina. Buffy resisted.“Don’t pull out yet,” Buffy requested.“If I pull out, we can stop the clock,” I insisted.“Oh,” she giggled, “me lying naked on top of you in your bed isn’t 'inappropriate behavior’?”“I won’t tell if you won’t,” I snickered. Buffy cut of the timer on her wristwatch. Buffy was bringing her breathing under control and getting comfortable with our sweatiness.“If you hadn’t been as good as your hype,” Buffy whispered after a minute, “I think I would have fallen apart…and killed you…then probably myself.”“Whoa,” I reacted. “Explain that. Girls wanting to kill me is fine. Girls killing themselves for anything remotely involving me isn’t.” She mulled that over. She wasn’t going to apologize yet felt a need to share something. I had to be patient.I’ve been with a lot of girls and a few guys who didn’t take rejection well. That rarely had anything to do with the actual rejection. It was some festering wound much deeper and older than their encounter with me.“In high school I discovered the wonders of sex. I loved it. Not the lover, but the carnal act. I’d screw anyone, as long as it was something new and different,” Buffy confided.“After a few bad incidents, my parents - my stepfather and my mother - threw me out because they thought I was a bad influence for my two younger sisters. I went to a city and did the only thing I was good at. I met this guy - you know the story. He would protect me, love me, blah, blah, blah,” Buffy recalled painfully.“Slowly the sex stopped being fun. It was money and not my money at that. One night I got sick of it. 'He’ wanted me to perform, I told him I was leaving so he and two buddies raped me. They raped me a lot over the next two days while they smoked meth and drank,” she continued. “Finally, when they all passed out, I went to the place where he had his gun.”“That wasn’t going to be good enough for me,” she tilted her head up to study my eyes. “I got his baseball bat instead and knocked them all out real good. I found a few garbage bag twist ties, tied their hands behind their backs and went at all three with a knife. I gutted them a bit so they were awake and in a shitload of pain…then I hacked their cocks and balls off.”I was less revolted than I thought I’d be. I still felt my dick shrivel and my balls trying to retract into my bodies. I certainly wasn’t going to joke about it; this was a serious sensitive moment for her. I stroked her hair. I could live with this revelation. I wasn’t sure why I could, but my heart and mind weren’t freaking out, so I went with my instincts.“I had barely finished up when the cops came bursting in. I had taken far longer torturing them than I imagined and their screams had been heard all over the housing complex. They Tasered me, I went to jail and finally to trial. My defense attorney argued an 'Insanity’ Plea and I ended up in a mental facility,” she was clearly relieved that I wasn’t terrified.“A few months later, Katrina showed up,” Buffy continued. “She wasn’t where she is today. We talked a great deal, but there were only two crucial questions for her. 'Do you regret killing those men?’ and 'Can you have sex again?’ I answered 'no’ and 'yes’ after some thought. Two weeks later, I was transferred to a Havenstone facility, they cleaned me up, trained me, and I was stationed here.”“What is with you and Elsa?” I prodded a handful of minutes later.“Don’t go there, Cáel,” Buffy muttered.“Do you seriously want me to confront her not knowing the whole score?” I countered.“She is a complete and total racist Bitch,” she grumbled.“Please don’t tell me it was a sex contest,” I groaned. “If she is better than you, I’m going to die.” Her grumbling lack of an explanation allowed me to crack a joke. Buffy 'punished’ me by kissing my chin.“No, it wasn’t a pussy-thing. If she can fuck you better than me, you have my permission to die,” she smiled playfully.Scary. I was so used to her being scary, Buffy not being scary was scaring me. Push?“Well, the only thing I can do then is a Buffy-Elsa-Cáel three-way,” I sighed.“Okay,” Buffy murmured.“Stop it!” I shouted. “You are freaking me out.”Buffy giggled. I was howling off into madness on the inside.“I think you have company coming soon. We should get clean and put some clothes on,” she exhaled joyously. By dressed, Buffy meant putting on my dress shirt - unbuttoned. She was like that, cross-legged on the sofa, eating Cheese Puffs and watching 'Real Housewives of Mumbai’ when Odette arrived.It took Odette a second to realize this Buffy was the same firecracker from the last time they met.“Hi - um,” Odette started.“We are fine. He fucked me. I’m in a state of grace,” Buffy explained pleasantly…without a hint of menace, or fury.“Buffy - Odette Sievert,” I made introductions. “Odette - Buffy Dubois.” Odette strode right over to the sofa and plopped down beside Buffy. I had to struggle to not flinch.“He gives an incredible dicking, doesn’t he?” Odette bubbled.“Yes,” Buffy purred, “Yes, he does that and more. You are new to this whole 'love-making thing, aren’t you?”“Pretty much,” Odette openly admitted. “He gave me my first orgasm. I didn’t realize how good sex was until I met Cáel.”“I didn’t realize how good sex was until I met me either,” I joked.“Trust me,” Buffy patted Odette’s thigh, “I know a great deal about sex and I can assure you he’s really, really good.”“You are not wearing underwear,” Odette noted. Life only got more bizarre.“Why don’t you go into the bedroom, get one of his used dress shirts and put it on - and nothing else,” Buffy advised. “It is a wonderful experience.”“Oh God, don’t I know it,” Odette exulted. She jumped up and skipped into my bedroom.“Don’t play with her,” I cautioned Buffy. Buffy studied me then gave me a glowing look.“I’m trying to be a better companion Cáel,” she told me. “I know I’ve put you through hell. I’m not going to apologize. I like the look of fear in your eyes. It is only matched by that look that says 'I’ll get you for this’,” she chuckled.“Just for that, its reverse cowgirl for you the next time we make love,” I threatened.“How is that a threat?” Buffy teased. “I am absolutely positive you like my butt.”“I bet he likes all of you,” Odette sang out as she came out twirling in another one of my dressed shirts and nothing else.Odette had change really quick. I knew she came over bra-less. I was suspecting no underwear, or socks too. She sat down tightly next to Buffy.“So, how is this 'sharing’ thing going to work?” Odette looked back and forth between us.“Have you ever been with a woman?” Buffy asked. “Don’t be embarrassed about curiosity.”“Aaahhh…well, a little,” Odette stammered.“Here is how it works,” Buffy patted Odette’s nervous hand. “I can only have sex with Cáel for five and a half more hours for the entire weekend. Since I like sex and you are here, I’m certainly interested in you.”“Odette,” she reassured my bed-buddy, “there is no pressure. I have gotten the most important thing - quality time with Cáel. Everything else is a bonus.”“Oh - I’m okay with that,” Odette nodded. Then she leaned in to kiss Buffy…maybe I should create a 'Sex for Beginners’ CD. I was working gangbusters on expanding Odette’s sexual horizons.Buffy wrapped a hand in Odette’s hair and drew her into a steamer kiss. I settled in behind Odette, switching kisses between the back of Odette’s head and Buffy’s hand.“Wow,” Odette panted. “You taste different than any guy I’ve kissed. I like it, but I like Cáel better.”Before anyone thinks this never happens, or 'only in Hollywood (West Hollywood, that is), please understand I went to a rural college with a 70% female student enrollment. Convincing a girl to engage in a little girl-on-girl action to 'get me extra aroused’ is insanely easy. The few times a lady has asked if I’d kiss a guy to get her 'extra aroused’, I said 'for her and only for her’.Works every time. I’ve kissed a few guys, but only for charity. Fine…I’ve kissed a few guys in gay bars because Timothy intimated that we’d get our butts kicked if I didn’t. He may have been playing me, but for all the shit I put him through, I can live with that. Back to the story: we had Odette in my bed in no time.I was on the bottom, Odette was lying on me, back to my chest and I was using my hips to piston into her while she moaned on top of me. Buffy was alternating between tantalizing Odette’s clit and teasing her nipples. Using a very liberal definition for 'touching me’, we decided that this wasn’t consuming any of our 'exemption’ time.Three orgasms later, Buffy poured an uber-contented Odette into her/my shirt and I carried her to the sofa. I put Odette’s head in Buffy’s lap, Buffy twirling Odette’s forelock and Odette humming a happy tune. I was getting some apple and orange juice when Timothy’s keys jangled in the door. He walked into the apartment and soaked up the scene.I took in that it was barely 8:30 and Timothy was in his date clothes. A seriously not-good situation. I diverted to him, drinks in hand, and hugged him.“Sorry Bro,” I murmured. He hugged me back. “Buffy DuBois, this is Timothy.”“Buffy? The crazy chick who wanted a hug?” Timothy chuckled.“She’s not…” Odette mumbled.“Yes, that would be me,” Buffy grinned sedately. Timothy looked down and shook his head.“That is some dick,” he groused. “Damn Bro, "Timothy regarded me with some amusement, "did you bother to get her panties off, or was the mere thought of sex with you enough to cause a complete personality reversal?”“Cáel,” Odette raised a shake arm and commanded loftily, “put the drinks down and get us some ice cream. It is Bonding Time.” She meant commiserating with Timothy over his dating failure. Timothy trundled off to his bedroom muttering something about 'getting into something more comfortable’ and I delivered the drinks then doubled back for the ice cream and four spoons.Timothy ended up on the floor with his head resting against Odette’s stomach. I offered to take the bottom spot. Timothy accepted the gesture then pointed out I was the guy with the bum leg. I ended up with Odette’s feet in my lap. The flavor of the night was Cherry Vanilla and we were all making inroads into the supply quickly.Timothy dialed up Ninja Assassin on Netflix. Ten minutes in I realized why. There was this Asian actor who was really hot and extremely physically fit. Odette agreed.“You two can’t believe any of this is real,” Buffy commented shortly after. “This is absurd. Nothing and no one kills like that.” She had professional pride after all.It hadn’t taken me three days to figure out that the Executive Service babes’ main purpose in life was not laundry delivery. They went everywhere and saw everything - just like a secret police force. Odd, huh?“Speaking of absurd and unreal,” Timothy snickered.“Cáel, two ladies screaming Extreme High Maintenance showed up this morning. Apparently you weren’t answering your phone, work said you were out of the office, and some spooky chicks at Havenstone showed them the door with something akin to a threat of lethal violence,” he continued. “From long experience as your roommate, I could tell you’d fucked them to Nirvana and they wanted more.”“From long experience’?” Buffy wondered. “You haven’t known him two months yet.”“Lady, this happens at least once a week with this guy. You are playing with the hair of one of those women right now,&rdqu

Training Think Tank Podcast
#104: Cheese Puffs to CrossFit Podium w/ David Bradley

Training Think Tank Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2022 81:26 Very Popular


On this episode of the Corpus Animus Podcast, Brannen Dorman interviews TTT athlete David Bradley. We get his backstory on how too many trips to Zaxby's got him seeking out a fitness plan. How he made his way to the top of the CrossFit Games teen division, and how he's currently dealing with the transition into the Individual division.

DTC Growth
FFUPS and how Sam Tichnor is trying to create the next iconic snack brand

DTC Growth

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 19, 2022 24:00


Quick Question with Duncan, Henrik, and Papa
214 — What's the difference between cheese puffs and styrofoam?

Quick Question with Duncan, Henrik, and Papa

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 2, 2022 1:47


Besides not much.

styrofoam cheese puffs
I Don't Get It
EP270: CLASSIFYING CHEESE PUFFS

I Don't Get It

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2022 66:28 Very Popular


The girls discuss how Jared Leto is a real life vampire, And Just Like That getting renewed for a 2nd season, Tom Brady returning to the NFL, having sex in a car wash, oh, and they classify the cheese puff.  Go to https://auratenewyork.com/idgi & use code: idgi to get 20% off during Aurate's All Humankind Sale! Get 10% off your first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/getit Get 10% off your first order with code: GETIT at https://oseamalibu.com Go to https://www.zocdoc.com/getit & download the Zocdoc app for FREE! More podcasts at WAVE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/artist/wave-podcast-network/1437831426

Breakfast With Barry Lee
217: What Do You Call The Orange Residue On Your Fingers From Cheese Puffs?

Breakfast With Barry Lee

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 5, 2022 5:25


Today is National Cheese Doodle Day, and Barry has devoted the podcast to one of his 'go-to' snacks:  Cheese Doodles, Cheetos, Cheese Curls, Cheese Puffs ... whatever the name, it adds up to addictive consumption.  The answer as to what you call the orange residue on your fingers after snacking is also revealed.   

Some Dude...
Cheese Puffs Are For Kids | Some Dude 118

Some Dude...

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2022 123:13 Transcription Available


Bang and Mike B kick off the pod with snacks and water. Is Bang bougie for ordering Evian Water? Are cheese puffs for kids? Also, what is the best Hot Chips ever? We also get into the Jack Harlow and the 'White Men Can Jump' remake (10:26) and why Mike B isn't down for it. The top 5 movies to reboot and leave alone (24:23). Bang pitches a Comedy around the Olympic sport 'Curling' (32:26). Euphoria Season 2 finale recap and if Rue (played by Zendaya) is the best drug addict ever (40:17) We get a recap of Jeen-Yus Kanye West Doc and a Vice article that made Bang a bit upset (51:26). We also get Bang's natural reaction to new Aaron Rodgers news (1:26:21) and more.  Download the #SomeDudePod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Google Play. Give us a 5 Star rating! Click here to visit and get your merch: https://bit.ly/SomeDudeMerchStore

Where's My Drink?
93. the real reason i was in Costa Rica, glow up szn & MONEY! how to transform your relationship w/ money to transform your life with Tara Marie

Where's My Drink?

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2022 71:24


MISSED YOU LAST WEEK but we back! K here's what we've got going on in this episode: a real life update about the not-so-fun part of my life, things I've been loving & then an incredible conversation with Tara Marie Murphy all about MONEY BABY. Tara is a literal finance queen - she works as a Senior Associate in Investment Banking and is the Founder of TMM Consulting and The Personal Finance Academy! Here's why you're going to love this part of the conversation: it's not what you think. It's not boring money talk. It's MINDSET. It's questions you need to be asking yourself right now. It's misconceptions about investing. It's how you can (and should) be investing even if it means starting with $20. It's 5 simple steps to budgeting yourself in a way that is NOT restrictive. It's about spending. It's about soooooo much and I cannot wait for you guys to listen. Tara is also hosting a - FREE - Investing Masterclass TODAY (Feb. 3rd) at 5:30pm EST. Link to sign up: https://tara-murphy.mykajabi.com/freeinvestingmasterclass (see you there!!!! also, if you can't attend, you'll receive the recording just by signing up!) Work with Tara Tara's IG (lots of finance tips on here!) K now me (come say hi) & UNWINEDING on IG (feed is hella cute) THINGS/PPL MENTIONED: Episode w/ Dr. Aminata Cisse Kenzie Elizabeth Truff Pasta Sauce (I like the arrabbiata one. so fire) Barbara's Cheese Puffs (addicting, don't even get them) Walking (free) My TikTok!!!!! Having a blast come say hi k that was a lot! love you guys see you next week xx

Reloaded504
Boiling Frog

Reloaded504

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2021 48:31


We're Drunk and High AF, Top Three Facts About Snot, Sneezing In 2021, P. Americana Roaches, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Cheers Tony Bennet and Miley, Todd's Roach Killing, RAID, Air Fryer vs Convection Oven, Butt Wiping, Bidet, Pizza Toppings, WTF is Nougat, WTF is Granola, D'Angelo Album Cover Rumor, Cheese Puffs, Lotion Bath, Boiling Frog

Unprofessional Development
Ep 84: EDUPODLOOZA 2021! Role-Playing Game

Unprofessional Development

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 16, 2021 51:28


We gather a party of unprofessionals to play-test the Unprofessional Development Board Game!  We have our dice, our Mountain Dew, and our Cheese Puffs ready for some role-playing fun.   Featuring Aviva Levin of Lesson Impossible Brad Sheffler of Planning Period Podcast Shane Lawrence of The Edpodcast Mealey and Tudisco of Unprofessional Development   And just for fun, here's the full video of Edupodlooza! (Yes, we really hosted podcasts for almost 8 1/2 hours...).   Don't forget to like and subscribe, and follow us on Twitter @unprocast Have a funny story or suggestion? Email us!   Sponsors: HelloFresh! Link: https://hellofresh-ca.o5kg.net/c/2544961/791027/7893 Code: HFAFF80 Offer: $80 Discount ($50 - $20 - $10) Including Free Shipping on First Box!

Three Dudes over Discord
Zelda, Zelda, and Cheese Puffs!

Three Dudes over Discord

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2021 61:55


In this episode, listen to our individual histories of the Legend of Zelda franchise, where Zephan first ate cheese puffs, and our opinions on the new Skyward Sword HD! Also hear our reactions to "Wholesome" Ghirahim (see cover art). Video of the "Flying Bird-y things": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=633oXwVekCY

bluemind ASMR
chill mukbang (ice cream) (cheese puffs) (eating) (chewing) no talking~

bluemind ASMR

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2021 21:24


Welcome to bluemind ASMR, your personal relaxation station. I'm your host, blue skies. Tonight is a chill mukbang, I turned the mic on while I ate some ice cream and then some cheese puffs, yum! I hope you enjoy. Headphones recommended~ * you are on episode 150~ * this episode goes public on June 23rd 2021~ * find all my links etc. at https://www.bluemindasmr.com * a big shout-out to my wonderful and amazing patrons: Moonflower, Tom, Colleen, Lara, and Jo!

Pump Panel Podcast with Skip
Skip discuss stock market and cheese puffs

Pump Panel Podcast with Skip

Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2021 17:55


No description listen and figure it out --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/skip97/support

skip stock market cheese puffs
Research Rebuttal
Cheese Puffs And Halloween

Research Rebuttal

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2020 26:42


Paige Dempster was the researcher this week, and Rachel Teichman was the guesser! Rachel got deeply rebutted this week, as she did not know much about the history of Halloween. The two learned that cheese puffs refers to all types of shapes.FB & IG: @ResearchRebuttalPodcastTwitter: @ResearchRebuttEmail us topic suggestions at researchrebuttalpodcast@gmail.comSourceshttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheese_puffs#:~:text=Cheese%20puffs%20were%20invented%20independently,flaked%2C%20partially%20cooked%20animal%20feed.https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/a-brief-history-of-the-cheese-curl-junk-foods-happiest-accidenthttps://www.wired.com/2010/05/process-cheetos/#:~:text=Gobs%20of%20cornmeal%20are%20fed,%2C%22%20creating%20the%20Cheetos%20shape.https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloweenhttps://www.history.com/news/history-of-the-jack-o-lantern-irish-origins#:~:text=Before%20we%20carved%20pumpkins%2C%20the%20Irish%20chiseled%20creepy%20faces%20onto%20turnips.&text=In%20fact%2C%20the%20name%2C%20jack,integral%20part%20of%20Halloween%20festivities. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

halloween fb cheese gobs cheese puffs 20halloween
Cereal Killers
Cheese Puffs

Cereal Killers

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2020 24:22


Did you even know Kind made cereal?? We just found out too. We’ll try Apple Cinnamon today. Then on to some Far Out Fruities from Target’s Market Pantry, and Barbara is back! Once again, Andrew thinks they taste like cheese puffs. They don’t. He’s a dope.

Guys Hiding From Their Wives Podcast
Episode 36 - Pass The Cheese Puffs

Guys Hiding From Their Wives Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2020 86:59


Big Ben and the boys are back to talk about the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest, the first ever game of Guys Against Humanity, and the Ultimate list of fictional snacks or foods that we want to try. Bubbalicious, Kameroni and Cheese, and the Great John-Bino have a field day with Big Ben's lack of teeth and hair. Recorded July 8, 2020. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app

Knitmoregirls's Podcast
Decorator Crab - Episode 583 - The Knitmore Girls

Knitmoregirls's Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2020 68:58


This week's episode is sponsored by:   Carry your creativity with Erin Lane Bags! Whether you show your fiber fandom with the woolly wonder  Sheepleverse, or dive into history with the Curiosities collection, our project bags, totes, and hook and needle  organizers are at the ready to keep your hobby happy.   We all have it, we all snicker about it.  Fun Fur.  Whether it’s eyelash, boucle, or just generally furry, it’s hard to find projects for novelty yarn.  With a sweet face, spiraling horns, and delightfully rotund body, Friendsheep by Cate Carter-Evans  lets you transform your novelty and textured yarns into sweet, fleecy little friends.  Pattern available on Ravelry; more info at infinitetwist.com   Have you ever had to frog because you forgot a step several rows back? Or lost your spot because you dropped your magnet board or lost track with your highlighter tape? Instead of wrestling with paper, use the knitCompanion app. It keeps you on track so you can knit more and frog less. knitCompanion works with ALL your patterns and is available for apple, android and kindle fire devices. A lot of folks we know are taking road trips this summer. But things are a little different this year, aren't they? Our long-time sponsor, LoLo Body Care wants to remind you to pack your masks, extra gloves, and hand sanitizer. After you've thoroughly cleaned your hands at a rest stop or gas pump don't forget to moisturize! And LoLo has the perfect item for you. The LoLo Twist is everything that you love about the LoLo bar, but with a hands-free experience. LoLo Twist is quick absorbing and so convenient. Slips right in your purse, pocket or backpack. Enjoy the road, keep creating, and do the Twist at LoLoBody.com. Are you feeling dis-GRUNT-eled about your stash? Are you browsing Insta-HAM looking for knitting inspiration? Is color "kind of a PIG deal" in your life? Oink Pigments offers over one hundred forty PIG-ture perfect colorways to make you SQUEAL with delight.  For a limited time only, bring home the bacon with code KNITMORE and get fifteen percent off in-stock yarns and fibers at oinkpigments dot com. Shop soon, because these pigs will FLY! On the Needles:(0:42)   Jasmin is on the second half of  her Match and Move shawl (by Martina Behm #behmalong); she's knitting it in Black Cat Fibers Nomad Sock. She loves Annie's Cheese Puffs. Gigi wants to make knee high socks. Cast on Hue Loco. 4 socks on the needles one pair is past waste yarn for heels  Also, Vanilla is the new Black socks for Xmas gifts. I pair in pink Neon Now from a couple of Stitches ago, one pair in bright striped yellow from a yarn swap.  Jasmin finished the first sleeve of the Cardizen in Onyx Fiber Arts, and started the second. Gigi had set up a preemie hat kit: she is making more baby bear hats out of Jamison yarn, she found some yellow yarn, and is knitting bee hives . Gigi is working on the Ochre Cardigan. Judy’s super stretchy bind off for the neckband (this is actually Jeny's super stretchy bind-off, not Judy's). She has started on the sleeves. Gigi wants to make knee high socks. She cast on two skeins of Hue Loco. She has 4 socks on the needles, one pair is past the waste yarn for heels  Also, Vanilla is the new Black socks for Xmas gifts. I pair in pink Neon Now from Stitches 2018, and one pair  in bright striped yellow from a yarn swap.    In Stitches (23:23) Gigi is wearing  the A line skirt from Beginning Clothing Construction class from West Valley College, and she is sleeping under a Stack and Whack quilt. Jasmin talks about the burrito pillow cases Gigi made for the kids   Events(29:57) The Operation Sock Drawer book will be published in October knitty.comhttps://knitty.com/sos.php   has a comprehensive list of events that have been canceled Stash Dash 2020. Dates 5/22 to 8/22/20 #teamcuteknitter #beatbostonjen The is some Stash Dash related trash talk Fiberworld 2020  Tour de Fleece has started! #Team Sasquatch Mother Knows Best:(35:12) Do regular check ins   When Knitting Attacks: (40:11) Gigi found turning the heel on the Vanilla sock challenging. Also, she used thick cotton for waste yarn. It feels worsted size with sock yarn  Chewie and Han help with the Match and Move.   Review:(49:21) Wild Mittens, Unruly Socks 2 by Lumi Karmitsa Straw into Gold:(57:48) Tour de Fleece! Jasmin is still spinning the Targhee/Romney/Angelina for the sweater from Morro Fleece Knits in Space:(59:07) JAWS at the drive in. Perfecting our experience. Social distance walks. Regular routines.   And Sew On:(1:01:32) Gigi dug out a box of cut out sack gowns with envelope neckline. She is working on them assembly line style. Still remaining are draw strings. Genevieve helped by sewing a basting line to help with turning the hem.  The saga of missing accessory box: Now that Gigi can use the sewing machine again, she needs to relearn how to use the computerized machine Gigi likes to listen to the  Stitch Please! podcast    

Knick Knack News
KKN Episode 108: Quibi, Cheese Puffs, Oven

Knick Knack News

Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2020 33:29


In this week's episode, we talk about mobile TV, tasty polish, baking cars, and much more!New episodes of Knick Knack News are released every Friday. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and more! Follow us on Twitter at @KnickKnackNews and Facebook at https://facebook.com/KnickKnackNews, and buy merch at http://bit.ly/KKNshop.Anthony's Stories This Week: Quibi: https://bit.ly/2XL0oXgOven: https://cnet.co/2TQNTbrSpotify: https://bit.ly/2XExfNdAlex's Stories This Week: Cheese Puffs: https://bit.ly/2ZN6clqMosaic: https://bbc.in/3dbM3t7Knot: https://bit.ly/3gwyqGZBreaking News: Launch: https://cnn.it/2Bcn8aWTornado: https://bit.ly/3eoy3fK See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Somehow Related with Dave O'Neil & Glenn Robbins

Maybe not remarkable to everyone but this episode's topics can be close to a few hearts. We remembered the slogan "Life's pretty straight without Twisties" pretty easily, but animal feed taglines or ads didn't come so readily. If you're Gen X and from Australia you might remember this lesson in advertising - Twisties ad 1980s   Links to the answer Tedium (with a great video) The Independent The Huffington Post Twisties Wikipedia   Somehow Related is produced by Nearly, a podcast network. The robot's voice comes from Google Home. They're pretty good. Original theme music by Kit Warhurst. Artwork created by Stacy Gougoulis.   Looking for another podcast? Halliday Wine Companion - celllaring insights from the best in the wine industry. Scale Up - Australian businesses that have overcome the startup struggle to reach over $100m. The Clappers - Pop culture insights with Karl Quinn and Andrew Young.

True Blue Riffcast
Erik's Top Notch Cheese Puffs

True Blue Riffcast

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2019 69:21


On today's episode, we are joined by a special guest: Erik Peterson from RiffTrax! He sat down and talked with us about Kittens: Birth and Growth, mutant cat-inside-a-cat movie Uninvited, and the wonder that is A Talking Cat!?! Kittens: Birth and Growth: https://www.rifftrax.com/kittens-birth-and-growth Uninvited: https://www.rifftrax.com/uninvited A Talking Cat!?!: https://www.rifftrax.com/a-talking-cat Songwriter X And The Skeleton Band: https://www.youtube.com/c/SongwriterXandtheSkeletonBand --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/trueblueriffcast/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/trueblueriffcast/support

tcr! diaries - podcast
Withholding the Cheese Puffs

tcr! diaries - podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2019


content: Sep 21, 2018 · podcast: Mar 12, 2019 Audio (MP3): 20180921 - Withholding the Cheese Puffs Guys, I just witnessed a heated couples exchange inside one of our local Walgreens. A man was outright denying his wife of her Friday snacks because apparently she “already had her daily allotment of cheese puffs.” She then retorted or snorted, “Oh no, I’m a get my cheese puffs” with the bitterness you’d expect of dreams shattered in full view of the other drugstore patrons. I can see both sides really. I mean they sell a 20 ounce plastic tumbler of them (Market Pantry brand) at Super Target so they must be good. On the other hand... Well, I can’t think of another hand. I can’t come up with one good valid reason to deprive your girl of cheese puffs if she wants cheese puffs. You won’t get lucky tonight withholding their fluffy orange texture. Anyways, I thought for sure she was gonna hook his leg with her cane and send him to the floor in a crumpled heap of senior citizen. I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time. I grabbed my receipt from the cashier and made my least hasty exit. The couple then disappeared down the food + drinks aisle so I have no finale for this yarn. Sorry. And now as I sit in the Walgreens parking lot on the corner of State Street and wherever I am, I’m enjoying these sweet, first, few drinks of this refreshing can (16 ounce) of Coca-Cola. It’s not the good stuff that the aforementioned Super Target imports from Mexico but it’ll do on this Friday afternoon. Anyways 2, happy weekend everybody. I hope this is your best one yet. #photos #snacks #soda #diariespodcast ahrens · Sep 21, 2018 at 6:04 pm What’s up with the branch with leaves on it in your car? 😉 $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; tcr! · Sep 21, 2018 at 6:12 pm I got it at the second Nightmare on Chicago Street I ever went to up in Elgin. It was laying on the ground in its own crumpled heap of plastic greenery as I was making yet another of my least hasty exits. When I got back to my truck I stuck it into my cigarette lighter outlet thing and it’s lived there ever since… 🌿 $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; tcr! · Sep 21, 2018 at 6:41 pm WAIT. That’s a lie. It’s not in the cigarette lighter outlet. It’s in the keyhole next to it that controls the airbags! I didn’t want to run the risk that this garden-variety plastic ivy one would find at your neighborhood Joann’s art and craft store would catch fire. In related news… One time I put my truck key in the keyhole, hoping it would open the door way to Narnia. But alas there was no such transportation reward. Only shed tears in the salty realization that I would indeed have to go to work. 😢 $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; ahrens · Sep 21, 2018 at 7:14 pm Thank you for your honesty. My first thought was maybe it was eucalyptus and you had a koala bear. That would be pretty rad. Please know, I do not judge a man’s greenery he keeps in his car. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; McIntyre 13 · Sep 21, 2018 at 10:37 pm This thread makes me smile. 😁 Or maybe it’s just my muscle relaxant kicking in. Either way thanks for the laugh guys $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; tcr! · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:29 am My two cents but the koala ain’t a stranger to muscle relaxants. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Shari H · Sep 21, 2018 at 6:16 pm Look…if you’re gonna feed us interesting tidbits on conversations overheard. You’re gonna hafta stick around for the ending. You’re public depends on you! $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Roda · Sep 21, 2018 at 6:18 pm MFer, don’t mess with my comfort food after a hard day on a Friday. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Redmondton · Sep 21, 2018 at 6:41 pm Pint can legit, strong work $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Murisa DM · Sep 21, 2018 at 7:43 pm Are you an author? You should write a book… your stores are so funny and so well written. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; tcr! · Sep 21, 2018 at 9:04 pm I regularly submit my stuff to publishers, etc. but so far nobody’s been interested. 🙄 $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Finkler · Sep 21, 2018 at 10:24 pm I loved this!! We do love our cheese puffs tho.. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Pad Nevin · Sep 21, 2018 at 11:02 pm Literally clicked the comment section just to ask this question. Past few posts I read are the most simplest interactions that can and likely happen daily and you make it interesting to read. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; tcr! · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:11 am Thank you! $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; tcr! · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:34 am I write more serious stuff, too. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; ahrens · Sep 21, 2018 at 8:00 pm Walgreens is always located at the corner of HAPPY and HEALTHY, not State and “whatever” $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; tcr! · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:27 am I don’t know. I go into the St. Charles’ Walgreens on the corner of Main Street and Sweet Tomatoes a couple times a week and there’s one cashier that’s borderline anti-happy. Seriously, she asks for my Walgreens Rewards card each and every visit regardless of how many times I’ve said, “Listen shopping gestapo, you’re not tracking how many sodas I buy in the name of steep discounts and customer perks!” Well, my wit’s not that quick in public or under Freddie’s pressure so that’s what I like to think I’ll say the next time I’m standing in her aisle as she’s questioning the cards in my wallet and reviewing a 3” ecig box with a scrupulous monocle, flipping the box over and over again looking for the 2” barcode. It’s on the fracking back where 90% of the barcodes in the world are!!! $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; ahrens · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:14 am Ok. First, Henry is my homie. He is so nice. Next, ecigs are bad news. When you know better, you do better. You have one set of lungs, take care of them. Finally, I use my bucks on Cheetos 😂 $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Mustari Jones · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:27 am ahrens, you are friggin killing me. 😂🤣 $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Mustari Jones · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:29 am This is LITERALLY the best thing on the internet this weekend. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; ahrens · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:34 am This is such a deep conversation, right? Love it. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; ahrens · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:44 am Perhaps Walgreens is not your scene. For all of the times I have entered my rewards number, I have yet to be rewarded. CVS is where it’s at. Once you get over the fact that your receipt is as long as 3 football fields, you realize you win the lotto during every shopping experience. I earn all of these bucks for whatever reason and I just roll with it. Some people are addicted to crack and/or bath salts but CVS is my weakness. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; tcr! · Sep 22, 2018 at 3:38 pm There’s this dude named Henry that works at the CVS close to my house. He’s worked there ever since I moved to my neighborhood back in the 00s. He, too, asks for my CVS card every time I see him. Even if we’re not in CVS. One time I was out feeding homeless children on the upper west side on a sunny Saturday, not unlike today. Henry pulled up, in what I assume to be his blue BMW and Keanu shades, and said, “CVS card…” in his oh so cool Nigerian accent. I might spring for a CVS card if they sold ecig paraphernalia by the pound but they seem to be anti-nicotine these days. And then they got those midget shopping carts that people still insist on filling up like their at Costco on Randall. Regardless, the real question is what do you do with all your earned bucks? Do they automagically discount your next receipt when you go in? $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; ns kraut · Sep 21, 2018 at 9:52 pm That will be me and my husband in 30 years. He already tells me i can’t get more cheese its. I need a cane… $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; tcr! · Sep 22, 2018 at 8:14 am You could probably buy one at Walgreens. If not, Riley Drug (also on State Street and whatever) carries them. I’ve tried their canes out. Clean finish, solid construction, helpful staff. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Steer Steerup · Sep 23, 2018 at 9:15 am She’s diabetic and shouldn’t have carbs. He cares about her. $m.wand.ajax_click=true;$m.wand.lightswitch=true; Add a comment! Got 30 seconds? Take the super duper, quick and easy podcast survey! Please. 😊 Love the show? Make a donation! Because you're the best. 💖 tcrbang.com · Instagram · Facebook · YouTube View original

Food In Five
A Brief History Of Cheese Puffs (cheezies)

Food In Five

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2019 4:48


We've all been coated in orange dust, all experienced the crunch. We've all felt miracle that is a cheese puff melting on our tongues. Today, today my friends, we discover the origins of our favourite snake. Today, we take a look at the brief history of the cheese puff. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/foodinfive/message

brief history cheese puffs
Too Posh Podcast
#90: Welcome to the weird, whispery world of ASMR Part 2

Too Posh Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 21, 2018 15:57


After our first episode of trying to create ASMR eating noises with fruits and vegetables we are trying to give it a try with snacks. Starting with Popsicles,frozen dark Chocolate, Takis, Cheese Puffs, Kettle Chips, Tostito Chips and Waffle Cones and much more.This is really another YouTube worthy show because the antics of the girls is hilarious as usual.Ashley decides to put an interesting sexual spin on creating ASMR sounds with a waffle cone.We are having a hard time taking this ASMR concept serious.

Harvest Eating Podcast-Plant Based Vegan Recipes

Today I dive into Pate Choux...the old-school French pastry dough that can be made into both savory and sweet treats. It's simple to make with very common ingredients and takes only minutes to prepare. You can make wonderful little goodies with pate choux like gougeres which are cheese puffs, add some diced salami and WOW. The pate choux dough is also great for profiteroles or cream puffs. Be sure to visit Harvest Eating to learn more. While there check out our Harvest Eating Foodie Memberships.

french pate choux cheese puffs harvest eating
Cocktails at The Office
Episode 46: Morning Milk & Cheese Puffs

Cocktails at The Office

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2018 73:44


A podcast all about cocktails and The Office. This is episode 46! We are discussing Season 5 Episode 24, Heavy Competition and Episode 25, Broke. Our cocktail has milk in it. You can listen on Apple Podcasts, Soundcloud and Stitcher! iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/cocktails-at-the-office/id1148416109?mt=2 Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-619647076 Stitcher: http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=99870&refid=stpr Email questions or comments to: officecocoktailspod@gmail.com. Or find us on your favorite social media platforms at: Twitter: @officecocktails Instagram: @officecocktails facebook.com/officecocktailspod Thanks for listening!

The Balance and Motherhood Podcast
019: Bring The F***Ing Cheese Puffs

The Balance and Motherhood Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2018 10:19


Ever gone to a party and been totally bummed that they didn't have your favorite snack or beverage? Hang in there with me, because I'm going somewhere with this. Today's Momtra is inspired by a boss I had a few years back. In one of our weekly brainstorm/energy pump-up sessions, he gave us a little analogy about a friend of his who was feeling stuck and frustrated. The solution he found can be linked back to my original question. See, in the friend's case, he was bummed when he showed up to a lot of places and did almost anything. Because he was relying on something outside of himself to bring the happy. The fix became showing up and bringing exactly what he wanted to experience. So if he was going to a party, and wanted some f***ing cheese puffs, HE would bring the cheese puffs. So this week, think about where you could bring the cheese puffs. Where you could liven things up a bit and start with yourself, before worrying about whatever kind of spread other people are laying out. Life's too precious and too awesome to be less than enthusiastic about it. Listen in and get that extra AIM for your week: affirmation, inspiration and motivation with the weekly Monday Momtra.

The Dave Portnoy Show
Happy Hour 11/30/17 - Cheese Doodles, Cheese Puffs Or Cheese Curls?

The Dave Portnoy Show

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2017 9:53


The only thing left to eat in the snack room at Barstool HQ is regular Cheetos, which stinks because Dave believes Baked Cheetos are the better kind. This leads to the Barstool Radio crew getting into a heated debate about what the correct nomenclature of cheese based snacks are.  Are they doodles? Are they puffs? Or are they curls? We bring on an expert, Clem to discuss. When Dave doesn't like Clem's answer, he wants to get his mother on the line, but instead we get Mr. Portnoy, who goes on a tangent about the Milano cookies he eats for breakfast.

Jon Carter's Classics
Timmy's Horoscope Hopes & Twister's Mayhem By Moonlight

Jon Carter's Classics

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2017 4:05


On this "Jon Carter Classic" With Farm Animals like Sammy the Chicken and Dickey the Pig to take care of, Timmy had just enough time to see The Solar Eclipse and it was everything he could have imagined, like a Moon Pie covering a Big Round Potato Chip! But after all the hype, Timmy get's a reality check with his "Horrorscope", and decides to call it day with Twinkies and Cheese Puffs! Plus from "Mr. Twister's Utah Big Game Command Center" the D.W.R. reports that opening weekend of the hunting season was slow statewide, with S.T.A.C. unable to locate Bambi's Bunkers, did The Solar Eclipse help avoid Mayhem by Moonlight? Find out on this Carter Classic from 103.5 The Arrow!

222 with Mike and Robbie
Ep 8 - Put A Shirt On!

222 with Mike and Robbie

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 5, 2016 70:28


On this Friday, Mike & Robbie were joined by Cait Schmait and they talked about Mike's inner fat guy, male and female toplessness, the Summer Olympics, Suicide Squad and more! The 2 guys - Mike & Robbie The 2 drinks - Flying Fish Red Fish India Red Ale & Evil Genius Stacy's Mom Citra India Pale Ale The 2 snacks - Lay's Kettle Cooked India Tikka Masala & Snikiddy Baked Mac n' Cheese Puffs

The Katie Halper Show
Jay Smooth: The Ill Doctrine, Underground Railroad & Disenfranchised cheese puffs

The Katie Halper Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 15, 2016 46:45


On our first episode of the Live Katie Halper Show i front of an audience we talk to Jay Smooth, founder and host of The Underground Railroad and of the ill Doctrine video series. His videos have garnered millions of views and praise from people like Rachel Maddow who has called his work genius. Find out what Jay Smooth's favorite drink and snack are, what he thinks of gun violence, Empire, gentrification and what his grandfather said about The Beatles in the New York Times.

Move Your DNA with Katy Bowman
Episode 32- Enter the Gait Lab

Move Your DNA with Katy Bowman

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2015 44:50


Do you walk? Is the nutritional value of your walking the equivalent of eating only. Cheese Puffs for sustenance? Walking, like every natural human movement, comes with its own host of variables that provide our bodies the loads required for optimal health and expression. Listen as Katy gives a clear and understandable explanation as to why we need to consider both the micro- and macronutrients of walking and how to get more of them.

SimpleFoodie.com
Cheese Puffs

SimpleFoodie.com

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2015


cheese puffs
To Be Named Later
Episode 33: Cheetos/Cheese Puffs

To Be Named Later

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2013


We really crank out the JAMS on this one folks.  For the third installation in our new series, JAMS (Jared and Michi Snacking) we have a face-off between two brothers.  It's Cheetos vs Cheese Puffs and only one will be left standing.

Ramjack
Episode 120 - Ramjack: Trial of the Travelog, of TERROR!

Ramjack

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 9, 2013 94:43


trial terror winter solstice lindsay mitchell cheese puffs travelog alexander green brad cupples
Hot Takeout
3: Apollo LTD and Cheese Puffs

Hot Takeout

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 1969 57:23


Jordan Phillips of Apollo LTD on this weeks episode. We talk about cheese puffs, manual labor and the most purchased fast food items of 2018. This one is good.

jordan phillips cheese puffs apollo ltd